Morgan
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. I mean, he wanted to know why I was wearing the ring. And so I told him the story. But I mean, I don't have feelings for my ex.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I mean, I'm not flaunting it. I'm just not taking it off.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Exactly. I'm going to wear it because it's my ring. He gave it to me and I want to use it. I'm not wearing it on the other finger. I'm not engaged to anybody.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah, I mean... It's Kent's up for it. I really like you, Kent.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I mean, she's showing up again with the ring, so. It's my ring, and I'll wear it where I want. I mean.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
You're off the scale? I wouldn't go that far, you guys. I'm probably like a 10.5. Oh, wow.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
No, no. I mean, that's not it. I mean, some stuff happened during the day, but... We met online. Look, I was like almost done with these apps because I've been on some really horrible dates. And like the last day with this guy, he actually asked me if I could donate my kidney to his uncle.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Exactly. I was like, can we just wait till we date for a month and then maybe, you know.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. And then Ken reached out to me and he like gave me the cheesiest line. Is there an airport nearby? Because my heart is taking off.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I wanted to mess with him. So I was like, oh, well, thanks a lot. My dad was a pilot and he actually crashed.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I know, but I was like, I wanted to mess with him because I thought it was like such a cheesy line. I was like, oh, come on. And he was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was like, no, I'm just kidding.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. And so like we were just laughing and and then he asked me out for drinks. What happened is that I decided to change my hairdo right before going on this date. That's the catfish part, right?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. It was a pretty dramatic change.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
yes kind of i mean i went from blonde to back to brunette which is my natural color and i actually went short hair that's a dramatic change yeah so was he able to recognize you did you give him a heads up no so he comes in and he doesn't even see me and i like i had to wave at him i was like hey i'm here and his reaction was like well, I didn't even recognize you. Like kind of like.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I think he was just really surprised, so no, it didn't come up as a compliment. Oh, okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I did. So we sat down and we started talking and things got back on track. And actually we found out the silly hobby that we have in common. We actually love karaoke, both of us.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Jeffrey loves karaoke. I love it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
We both apparently love to go a lot. And so anyways, we bonded and about that. And then at some point, the other thing that happened that was a little odd is that I have a ring on my finger and he actually noticed that. And it's not a wedding ring or anything, but it is an old promise ring from one of my first boyfriends.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I love the ring and I wear it on the other finger. It's not like I'm wearing it as in I'm engaged or anything.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
It does look a little bit like an engagement ring. Yes. Yes.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
and so i told him i said hey i just really love this ring it's from an old boyfriend has nothing i mean i don't even have any contact with this person and so it's just like just really like it and so he i'm not even sure if he was even weirded out about that well it's strange that you even brought it up because he may have not even noticed it i mean if it's not on that finger dude i don't know right i know a lot of guys that don't forget to look yeah it's like dude is she married i'm like i don't know it's like oh i didn't look at her
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
And then it just hasn't been like that at all. So I reach out a couple times, and, you know, his answers are kind of short and just not the same kind of back and forth that we had before.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
You guys, I don't call those riffraffs. I call them having a sense of humor. Ah.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I'm just a bad girl.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I think you're putting too much... weight on this ring thing. I mean, I kept the ring because I liked the ring and I wore that ring for a really long time. And I'm not going to take it off for taking a picture for Instagram.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
No, I mean, he wasn't a nice person to me, especially when the relationship ended. So, yeah, I mean, I want to make sure that he can see through my pictures that I'm still wearing the ring.
Criminal
Five Stars
Yeah. Hey, it's Morgan in Little Rock. Wanted to ask for the last episode, not to be material, but what is the most, what is your most prized possession or really like the most sentimental thing that you own that you just can't ever get rid of? Okay, cool. Thanks.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
No. And I think this person sounds very supportive and I think you're on the right track. There you go. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
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Number three. I will say though, friends, this one could use a bit of a trigger warning. It does describe a somewhat unhealthy relationship. This is just from me skimming. Haven't read it fully, but if you feel like you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Please bear with me. I'm not the best storyteller.
Father Knows Something
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When my fiancé and I first got together, he moved up to my hometown and stayed with me after I became pregnant. We lived there for a year before he grew homesick and wanted to move closer to his family and see them more often. Since moving down here two years ago, our relationship has been on some very sketchy rocks. I've had to call the cops twice because it was very scary.
Father Knows Something
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He voluntarily agreed to be admitted for a 94-hour psychiatric hold at our local hospital. Since then, I've wanted to move back to my hometown to be closer to my family and my support system. My future in-laws are a great support system, but they all live one hour plus away. And we only see them at most once every couple of months. If I moved back home, I would see my family almost daily.
Father Knows Something
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I want to stay with my partner, but at the same time, I want to protect our son and myself by moving back home and leaving him. How should I go about all of this hot mess without making it a hotter mess?
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. I'll add a little bit more info, okay?
Father Knows Something
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Ideal outcome. Staying with my partner, but being happy where I am at in life and physically. Additional info. I have caught him flirting with other women on his phone, and we don't always agree on a lot of things, usually sparking some minor arguments.
Father Knows Something
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It's hard, right? Because it's hard to leave. You might feel like he needs your help. You might feel the need to stay because you share a kid together. But I mean, no matter what the reason is, A, B, C, X, Y, Z, I don't see any reason good enough to stay right now.
Father Knows Something
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You're inching towards a slippery, slippery path. And I would already say that this is an abusive relationship. It's definitely not healthy.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. And I will say, you know, if this is to a point where it's so scary, you've had to call the police twice. This isn't a situation to stay for the kid. This isn't a situation that you want your kid to witness. You know, little kids, their brains are... in such crucial developmental times and children who witness things like this, you know, they, they can develop mental health problems.
Father Knows Something
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I mean, there's a lot of implications at this. So the healthiest thing to do for your kid is honestly to move home. Yeah. I just like, I don't care how good of a dad he can be. Like, He's not a good partner to you. He's having emotional affairs.
Father Knows Something
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You just go home and be with your support system and be with your family. And he needs to work on himself. He needs to address his alcohol, get some therapy and then reevaluate. But I wouldn't even, I honestly don't know if I would give him the option to even come with you.
Father Knows Something
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And you're 24. You're in the prime of your life.
Father Knows Something
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Absolutely. But please keep us posted. Again, if we read your story, this goes for any of our listeners. If we read your story, please go to the link in all the episode descriptions. There is a separate link specifically for updates so we don't lose them. But everyone, keep us posted if we've read your story. Moving on to number four.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
Hello, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I'm a new listener and love listening to both podcasts while driving to work. I, 19 female, want to cordially move out of my parents' house without ruining my relationship with my mom and three siblings. Ever since I turned 17 and I could drive, my stepdad, whenever we got into an argument, has said that I am free to leave whenever I want.
Father Knows Something
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However, I don't feel like I can move out whenever I want. I take my youngest sister to daycare. Four out of five days she goes. Sometimes if my mom needs it, I'll pick her up from daycare too. If I move out, no one can take her to daycare. I also feel that if I were to move out, my stepdad would want to take anything he's ever bought for me away from me.
Father Knows Something
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My main concern is that he's the one who purchased my car. I say my because even though I pay for maintenance taxes and insurance for the vehicle, it isn't in my name. My stepdad and I have gotten into many verbal arguments about all of the things I do wrong on a day-to-day basis, many of which have left me crying in my room, wishing that I didn't live here.
Father Knows Something
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I've had so many thoughts about packing my bags and moving out without saying anything. but I still want to be there for my mom and siblings without my stepdad being involved. Thank you. If you guys do read this, I appreciate any advice. Ideal outcome, I really want to move out, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with my mom and siblings.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
We're going to get you like a fidget spinner, like some toys for people with ADHD. Really? I think it would be really good for you.
Father Knows Something
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Additional info, my stepdad also says that moving out and purchasing my own vehicle would be fiscally irresponsible at my age. Also, I work in construction and my job site is almost an hour's drive away. I want to move closer to work to save myself from spending so much time in my car.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
Now, on to my problem. Okay. I have nowhere to go for the holidays. As the youngest, I'm the only one who just isn't at that point in my life. And it's hard because while older ones were my age, I was still believing in Santa. I have nowhere to go for Christmas. As the youngest, I'm the only one who just isn't at that point in my life.
Father Knows Something
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I think that's top of the list. Are we right, guys?
Father Knows Something
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And I would not give any other reason but work. You know, you guys, I love you. I love being able to help out. But, you know, driving an hour for work. Each way. It's really taking its toll on me and I'm wasting so much money. And I do want to be fiscally responsible, you know. So I just, I think I'm going to find a roommate and move a little closer to work.
Father Knows Something
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If you then get told, well, you're not taking the car. You could offer to buy the car. You could say, hey, I understand it's your car. Your name's on the title. Would I be able to buy it from you? Can I come up with a payment plan and I buy the car from you? Would that be okay? If he says no.
Father Knows Something
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If you work in construction, I'm hoping you have a really good gig and you do have the ability to get a car payment. You know, when I heard the stepdad saying, well, it'd be fiscally irresponsible. You're 19, you're working construction, you have a stable, good job. I think that was more of a control tactic, to be honest.
Father Knows Something
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It's not necessarily bad advice, but I think it's advice with an ulterior motive. And at the end of the day, you really do need to prioritize your mental health and get out of there. Start building your life. And like you said, as much as you love your siblings and love helping your mom- Their children. You don't need to step up and fill that role so-
Father Knows Something
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I don't think you need to have that conversation though. Start and just blame it on work. But I think parentification affects a lot of our listeners. There's a fine line of being a functioning member of a family and helping out where and when and as you can. versus you're raising your siblings. And this is something that comes up a lot and it's, it's hard. It's very challenging.
Father Knows Something
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You know, I, I felt like I raised my little brother, Taylor. I felt like I raised him my, my junior and senior year of high school.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. You both, you were out here in California. She was, you know, working up North. So it was literally me and Taylor at home alone all the time.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, I didn't want to go to school. No. But move out. 2025 is your year, baby. All right. Okay. Let's move on to number... Five. Five?
Father Knows Something
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Hi, everyone. I've been a longtime listener for the past two years and listen every week on my way to work or when I'm doing chores around the house. I, 25 female, am currently in the happiest and healthiest relationship that I've ever been in.
Father Knows Something
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My boyfriend, 26 male, is so kind, patient, makes me laugh, and constantly spoils me. During my busiest week of work this year, where I was working 16 hours a day, he went into my apartment and deep cleaned it fully as a surprise. I ugly sobbed for about 20 minutes. It was the nicest thing someone had ever done for me. To say I have been terrorized by men in my past is an understatement.
Father Knows Something
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My most recent ex actually hid his wife from me. My ex before that cheated on me with my ex best friend. My ex before that gave me an STI. It could go on and on. Now back to my current boyfriend.
Father Knows Something
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We have now been dating almost a year and have been talking about our next steps moving in together. I know I love this man and that I want to be with him forever. But when I'm away from him, I start to overthink every possible thing that could possibly go wrong. It makes me nervous to take this next step.
Father Knows Something
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Again, he's never done anything to make me doubt him or his love, and I'm worried if this is a massive mistake from past trauma. I guess I'm just looking for confirmation that I'm not the only one that has ever felt this way. Any advice or antidotes would be great. Ideal outcome, knowing that the jitters are normal.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, I think therapy would be great. I'm curious if you've ever taken an attachment styles quiz and kind of seen what your attachment style is. If it's anxious or avoidant or things like that, it could help kind of understand your feelings. But I think it is normal. I think based on your past relationship trauma- you and your radar, as you say, aren't the most in tune.
Father Knows Something
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It's hard, because when the older ones were my age, I was still believing in Santa, and they got to come home to the holiday magic. Now it feels like I've been left in the dust to figure out things for myself. The past couple Christmases, I went to my long-term boyfriend's family, but we recently broke up, which is just making me feel even more alone.
Father Knows Something
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So even when you get this healthy, good relationship, you're kind of sitting there always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. So I do think this is normal. And as you build your life with this person and focus on yourself, healing, being more confident, being more secure, you will grow into a better attachment style.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. I mean, I myself was kind of this person. I think I was a little self-sabotage-y when I first started dating Justin because he was the first nice guy and wasn't necessarily my type. And so I was like, well, is this... do I like him? And the more I got to know him, the more I really did realize like, yeah, this is a gem. I have nothing to worry about.
Father Knows Something
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And I think that comes with time, but it does also help to evaluate past relationships and kind of realize, yeah, my current partner is so different. And You know, I did fall into the past relationship trap, but this is different. This person loves me. This person cherishes me. And I think his actions are really proving that.
Father Knows Something
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When I heard Morgan ask for spooky submissions, I had to write this in. It's more of a wholesome spooky story that happened back in 2022. I'll start with a few key details. I live in a cold area. The winters are frigid and icy.
Father Knows Something
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It sounds like home to me. December to February are usually the coldest months with temperatures around negative 30 Celsius. I grew up in a house with only a few small heaters and our main source of heat was and still is an iron wood burning stove. It usually takes about 30 minutes to start a good fire that will heat up the house for hours.
Father Knows Something
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I live in the same house that I grew up in with my dad and granddad. In February of 2022, my granddad passed away. My dad and I were devastated, but he had been sick for a while, so we knew it was coming. I know it sounds harsh, but my dad had a weird thing with death and wanted the body out of the house as soon as possible.
Father Knows Something
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So the same morning that my granddad died, we called the morgue to retrieve his body and immediately started to arrange a wake slash funeral. It's customary in our culture to share a meal with the entire family after the funeral procession. Following two days, we're full of shopping to prepare for the meal.
Father Knows Something
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The day before the funeral was icy, snowy, negative 28 degrees, and so windy that a few places around us lost power. And so I wasn't able to shop for the supplies that I needed. At around 6 p.m., my boyfriend and I made a fire to keep the house warm and went to sleep. Super early, I know. Grief is weird. I planned to shop for the supplies early in the morning before the funeral.
Father Knows Something
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Any ideas on what to do or ways to feel less alone?
Father Knows Something
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When my alarm went off at 6 a.m., my boyfriend insisted that I go back to sleep while he did the shopping. I obliged, and he asked, "'It's really cold. Do you want me to start the fire before I go?' I said no, that I would grab an extra blanket for now and start the fire when I got up in about an hour." Two hours go by and I wake up sweating.
Father Knows Something
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I'd thrown the blankets on the floor and taken my pajamas off because it was so hot in our house. The heat made me extra comfortable and I was finally able to get some good, refreshing sleep. When my boyfriend got home, he asked if I had any trouble making the fire this morning. I said, quote, no, you started it before you left for shopping and it stayed going ever since.
Father Knows Something
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The expression on his face immediately dropped and he said, quote, I didn't start the fire before I left. You said you would be okay. Our ring doorbell only showed my boyfriend leaving the house at 6.10 a.m. There is no way he would have had time to make a fire in under 10 minutes.
Father Knows Something
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That's cute. I know how all of us love our spooky stories. So we feel like we needed to cap the year with another one and a wholesome one at that. I know. I know.
Father Knows Something
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Well, let's read the ideal outcome and additional info. Maybe we'll get a little more.
Father Knows Something
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Well, and the boyfriend walking in being like, it's cold in here. But like you were just so warm and comfortable. And then like you ended up like sweating. You had to take clothes off even.
Father Knows Something
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It wasn't relit. The last time it was lit was before they went to bed at 6 p.m. the night before, which like that's gone. There's not even embers anymore at that point. That's out. It's pretty, pretty crazy. Pretty crazy.
Father Knows Something
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Ideal outcome. I want somewhere to go for the holidays that keeps the spirit of Christmas alive. I also want to still be connected to my family without them moving on to their own lives before I'm old enough to even catch up. I want kids one day, but it feels like by the time I have them, their kids will be much older and they'll still be at a different place in life.
Father Knows Something
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Hi, FKS. I've been wanting to write in for a while and now I have something I need advice on. I, 26 female, am getting married in 2026 and I need help on how to handle a friend situation slash breakup. I have a friend group from high school in Iowa. Hey, neighbor. That consisted of seven girls up until recently.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. What do your socks say? Don't disturb. I'm gaming.
Father Knows Something
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Two of the girls decided that they didn't want to be friends with us anymore and removed themselves from all of our group chats and won't talk to us when we have tried. Fast forward to me getting engaged. They both reached out to congratulate me and said how excited they are for the wedding.
Father Knows Something
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It's been about eight months since they left the friend group and they haven't checked in at all in that time. I will not be inviting them to the wedding. Do I tell them that? Do I just not say anything and wait for them to figure it out and deal with that when it happens? I'm really sad that it has come to this, but all they will do is start drama with the other girls.
Father Knows Something
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Plus, they are extremely judgmental people, and I would be worried about them whispering about me on my wedding day. If they do reach out looking for a fight, what should I say?
Father Knows Something
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Any thoughts and advice would be great. I hate confrontation.
Father Knows Something
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They left the group chat. I mean, they really said, bye, Felicia. Yeah. I don't know if you need to say anything, especially if they left the group chat and kind of exited your friendship eight months ago. Bye. There hasn't been anything since then.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
The yuck, the ick. The ick. The ick. Ick. Bye ick.
Father Knows Something
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Bye ick, bye. And I think that's the case. Also, you're getting married in 2026. You got a whole year. If I didn't talk to someone for basically two years, I wouldn't expect to get an invite to their wedding. Yeah. I think it'll explain itself if they don't reach out and try to have a relationship with you. It's self-explanatory.
Father Knows Something
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Will they talk shit after your wedding that they didn't get invited? Probably.
Father Knows Something
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Fences could be mended for sure. For sure. But I don't think you really need to worry about anything. I mean, it's one of those things that it's kind of sealed its own fate. And when they do say something about not being invited... They just look dumb. You're not friends anymore.
Father Knows Something
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Ideal outcome would be to have a mature conversation with them about how they cut me out of their lives so they won't be included in my big moments anymore. I just don't want a big fight with tears or yelling. I know a lot of people do want closure.
Father Knows Something
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Additional info, my mom is probably going to be with my sister, who is two years older than me, and she has two kids. I think they would be okay if I joined, but they're hard to be around because they are very religious and have opposite political beliefs, and that tends to be all they are able to talk about.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
Additional info, these two girls are very confrontational and headstrong and can never admit when they're wrong. It's always someone else's fault.
Father Knows Something
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They also attended a friend's wedding this year, and we heard they were catty and rude about the bride the whole night. So I just don't want to worry about them there. Okay.
Father Knows Something
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Mm-mm. I think honestly, you are going to feel great a year from now. You're not even going to think about having to not invite them.
Father Knows Something
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I know. I know. You are just, you're ready to go home and go to bed.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
Well, we have to say, please keep us posted, but do not fret. This is going to be just fine. They wrote themselves out. You're saying goodbye to the ick. Congratulations on your engagement and your soon-to-be wedding.
Father Knows Something
151: Father Knows: Goodbye Ick..
The only sibling I feel closest enough to spend the holidays with has a newborn due right around Christmas. Also, my father passed away when I was 16.
Father Knows Something
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Honestly, though, I think this is where you need to branch out a little bit. Maybe get out of your comfort zone. I think, you know, you talk about the magic of Christmas and I don't know, there's nothing more magical than being around little kids and seeing them excited for Santa to come. And I think you could really create a sense of magic this year if, you know, you asked, hey, can I come over?
Father Knows Something
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Nice. Well, last of 2024, like we said, this has been a really great year.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. And it can be awkward asking to come over. Like, it's... A bit annoying that no one's invited.
Father Knows Something
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Like that kind of pisses me off. Like no one's invited her. Maybe the mom and the sister have, but it's not coming across that way. So that's where I'm kind of like, ew, like annoyed. But I think ask. Pick the one you would want to spend time with and go. And your sister might not have her baby by then. Then, you know, you can help and hang out.
Father Knows Something
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No mention of friends, but maybe didn't care to include because friends are busy.
Father Knows Something
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Great year for Father Knows. A lot of community. A lot of community here. We've had a little bit of growth.
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And I think that's just the hard part is putting yourself out there, asking. I mean, it's hard when you feel alone because if you're anything like me, when I feel alone and I get bummed out, I recede into myself even more. I really shut down and I just don't even have the motivation to engage with people because I do feel so low and lonely. Mm-hmm.
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And you could be in that boat, but I will say you will feel so much better if you just put yourself out there and ask or, you know, even if you came up with like an excuse where you're like, hey, hey guys, like I really want to do a new tradition this year. Do you guys want to bake cookies with me Christmas Eve?
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And you kind of take that initiative to bring something up, an activity or- And start in your own home. I mean, something or say, hey, I'll bring all the supplies over. Do you guys want to bake cookies? I think it would be really fun for the kids. Christmas mass.
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I think it's hard if you're not religious, feeling like you're welcome at places like that. But I will say, I think even if you're not religious and you want some beautiful singing and, you know, whatever, pick one of the bigger churches in your area and go. Like, there are so many people that are what you call christer or just a spirit of us. They only show up on Easter and Christmas. Yeah.
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I would say put yourself out there and it's normal to feel alone. I think the holidays bring up a lot of hard feelings for a lot of people. And it's just not fun, but it could get turned around for you if you, you know, put yourself out there. We talked about this recently, Justin and I, and we are kind of in this like rejection therapy mode. Mm-hmm.
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him mostly because i really push him and i'm like go ask go try to return this blah blah blah but ask like more often than not you're gonna get a yes from someone and is it scary yeah does it feel awkward yeah but it's good to ask i got a great one carol go find out who's who's caroling um
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I mean, that would be... If you like to sing, yeah, that would be really fun.
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Or, I mean, volunteer. Offer to, you know, ring a bell for Salvation Army or, you know, there's so many... Stuff in a hospital.
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Yeah, depends on the area. I also think there's a lot of like Christmas meals that could be good even if you're not volunteering at it. Like go and get a meal and have some fellowship with people.
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Don't feel alone. Don't limit yourself because you are scared or you feel awkward to ask. Your family loves you. You have a lot of siblings. And dealing with religion and politics that aren't up your alley can kind of suck. But maybe they can ignore it or you can just bury your head in the sand a little bit and spend some time with your family.
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Number two. Hello, THT and FKS fam. I love both podcasts. Okay, so last weekend was my husband's family's Christmas party. My husband is the fun uncle for all the nieces and nephews. One of our nephews, we'll call him A, kept wanting to wrestle my husband. A is 12 and 5'2", but 160 pounds. When he hits, it hurts. 5'2", 160. Okay.
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My husband told him to stop more than once and told A's mother to control her child two different times. After getting hit in the face for about the 20th time, my husband was over it and put my nephew in a chokehold. It was loose so he could breathe. It was just to restrain him. A's mother started screaming at my husband and they got into a big fight.
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They separated, calmed down, and then had a conversation. They worked everything out and everyone involved was on good terms again. The next day, though, we woke up and my husband's other sister, not his mom, posted on the family Facebook page. She told a story about what happened, making my husband out to be the bad guy.
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She told lie after lie, and it was for grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and basically all family members to see. My husband called and told her to take the post down, but she said no. And my husband just hung up on her. My husband told me we're cutting her out completely. She always stirs the pot and makes drama. So here is my question. How do I support my husband while we cut her out?
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That all being said, today's theme is resolutions. You know, we're kind of wrapping up the year and I just did a theme about things we are leaving in 2024. And I think based on a lot of these stories, they're things that should be sorted and you should move forward into the new year with a resolution of some sort.
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I've never had to do that before and would like some advice. Ideal outcome? To support my husband and try to help him. Even though cutting her out is the best thing for our family, it is still hurting him to do so. Additional info, this was just the latest thing she tried to pull. Over the past 10 years, every family get-together, she finds a way to attack my husband.
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We do plan to host dinners to see family that we do still want to engage with.
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Girl, you got it sorted. I don't know if you need us.
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You got your ass kicked by a 12-year-old? Well, I'm in a silly, goofy mood today.
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Well, in my head, you know what story I was thinking about?
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Oh, my gosh. But I think sometimes with kids like this, they do need to learn mess with the bull, you get the horns. This is uncontrollable for a kid to do. And when you're asking him to stop and he still doesn't stop and the parent doesn't step in, I mean, this is a logical response. And some people might say, no, the kid's 12. He should have removed himself. I don't agree personally.
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He needed to FAFO a little bit and he FAFOed too close to the sun.
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And that's what this felt like. I think everything you're doing in regards to this family member is perfect. Cut her out. She's continuously causing drama. And just invite people over that you want to engage with. I would add one thing. If you're around this child again and he's acting like this again, start recording. Record everything.
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So then if there's any issues and people are like, well, why did you do that? This is the behavior we had to deal with. And people want to post about you on a family Facebook page. Upload the videos of this kid being a terrorist on the family Facebook page. Like sometimes, sometimes parents need a dose of reality because I think they go a little like, you know how people go nose blind to smells?
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Parents go kid blind. They just are so used to that behavior that it doesn't register.
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Yeah. And you know, this is something that needs to get nipped in the bud. I do. I agree. Yeah. Any other tips? Any tricks?
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Do you have any tips for someone who is trying to support their partner or friend when they're cutting someone off? I mean, I think she's doing everything she can. You just got to respect that he wants to do it.
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No, I have a few crafty solutions here, okay?
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You really need to sit down and really, really hammer this home one last time that my dogs do not get people food. They don't. They don't get chocolate. They don't get grapes. They don't get XYZ. They don't get people food. Here are the treats you can give them. If you choose to disregard what I'm asking you, and if you disrespect me and my boundaries for my dogs,
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So the theme I have for us today is kind of like you've got the right idea. You're on the right track, but you just might need a little extra boost or a little love from dad to get you there.
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Whatever happens, you are responsible for. So if you put another rotisserie chicken down and my dog eats the bones and those bone shards start poking holes in their intestines, you will be responsible for the vet bill.
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And if the dog dies, then that is so tragic. And the sad part when you get that far is you could say, Dad, you owe me... the cost of the dog but how do you quantify that you can't you losing your dog it doesn't work but you know you can say hey like you are going to be responsible for any vet bills or if you really want to be Safe rather than sorry.
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You could keep your dogs in your room when you're gone so that they're not loose and unobserved by you with your dad.
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So here's the thing. What's the worst one? I mean, probably never going to hear the end of it, but here's the thing. So there is an influencer who this just happened with. This influencer had this beautiful, beautiful dog. I think it was a white Pomeranian, just gorgeous. It was her best friend.
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And she had told her parents again and again and again, but especially her dad, because her dad kept disrespecting her boundaries on the dog. And she told the dad, please do not let the dog outside by themselves. Like you have to go with the dog. Please don't let the dog outside by itself.
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And he did. You know, he watched the dog, the dog got killed by a coyote and she's done. She's done with her dad. She does not want a relationship or, you know, at the time of the video I saw, it was like, I'm, I can't, I can't right now. I'm, this is not okay. I'm hurt. He didn't respect me and he's so sorry now, but I told him, I warned him and he didn't listen to me.
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So, you know, you could pull up YouTube videos and let them watch it and let them watch that. And, you know, let a vet tell him you can't feed dogs these foods. You have to be careful with dogs. And if he still doesn't listen, you could Photoshop a vet bill and say, hey, you're responsible for this. Is it a white lie? Yeah. Will it maybe shock him into respecting you if he has to pay a vet bill?
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Yeah, some people would call that manipulative.
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Honestly, though, that might be a step you take in order to say, hey, this is the vet bill for my dog and him getting his stomach pumped because he ate bad things. And you could say, just kidding, but this is what it would look like. I don't know. I don't know what it takes for some people to get it through their head.
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Yeah. And this is just unfortunate. I don't know why some people's parents do this. Some people think, oh, they deserve it. They deserve that little food. They just. I mean, yeah, I know certain people in my life, Justin's family, that they struggle with giving dogs human food. You're not supposed to. You're not supposed to. There's different greases and cooking oils, and it's just not.
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Well, and there's certain foods that are actually so toxic to them, like a grape. Oh, chocolate. Yeah, grapes and chocolate. A grape. We'll kill it. I mean, a walnut. Like if they get in – so it's just – it's not worth it. So I don't know if you guys – if you're out there listening and you've had to deal with this with a parent, what really worked? Was it finally getting a vet bill?
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Was it keeping the dog crated or in your room when you weren't home? Yeah. Because that does suck. Like if the dad is home and you can leave the dog out and the dog can get more social interaction, like how great is that? But if he's going to continue to disrespect and feed it, it's safer for the dog if it's in your room.
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so what do you think about that pedro keep us posted we really want to know how you work this one out and again anyone out there please chime in please chime in because this one i read this and i was i was enraged i was seeing red okay i'm moving along number three do you see my finger Oh my God. What'd you do this time?
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I am all about safety in the kitchen, y'all.
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I think you need to change your bandage. It doesn't
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Okay, you might need to go get stitches.
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Okay. Anyways, number three. Number three. I'm having trouble deciding on whether to stay with my partner of almost nine years. We are now 27 female and 29 male. Technically, we've been broken up since September when I took all of his clothes out of our apartment because I found evidence of him cheating on me. Embarrassing to admit it wasn't the first time. So he's cheated on me multiple times.
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The first incident was about three years before we had our son. He had met up with a girl that he had a fling with in high school. According to him, they never did anything, but I have my doubts. Around the same time, he had downloaded apps like Tinder and other dating apps. Then, to my knowledge, he hadn't cheated on me or anything since that incident. So I forgave him and we moved on.
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We did have other relationship issues because he had health concerns that he wasn't addressing and because the roles in our household were hard to decipher, but we pushed through. At the end of 2020, I found out I was pregnant with my second child, his first, and throughout my pregnancy, everything was okay. Even the first few months of postpartum, everything was seemingly okay.
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But after a couple of months, we started bickering. A lot. His sickness got worse to the point where he had lost a significant amount of weight. I had gone through a couple of deaths in my family, and I also had to put my career on pause to be able to dedicate more time to my newborn and my older child. And then, again, a couple of months later...
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In all honesty, I also cheated on him, just to give you a reference to the timeline. This brings us to the end of summer 21. We had decided to reconcile and forgive since I wasn't in a stable situation. I had just recently started to work full-time again. I decided to stay, and I was hoping that the relationship would work.
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But then you fast forward three years, September 2024, and he cheated on me again. And if I'm being honest, throughout those three years, I found dating apps on his phone multiple times. I would confront him and we would fight. And again, the fear of being a single mom and the hope that he would change kept me there.
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Ever since I kicked him out, we've been going back and forth trying to work on things, but I just never feel satisfied. We've both been doing individual therapy and we're trying couples therapy for a second time. But even with couples therapy, I'm more focused on finding a stable co-parenting relationship than recovering our romantic relationship.
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But that's not... So a lot of people refer to that as AA now for everything. Oh, really? So depending on what you need it for, whether it's gambling, alcohol, regardless, there's a bunch of different AA, Al-Anon type groups for whatever you need.
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It's hard because I don't want to feel like I'm letting my family down, but I just have so much rage and anger towards my partner that it's hard for me to fully commit to him. In the bottom of my heart, I really just don't feel like I want to be in this relationship. I'm very scared to start over on my own, and I'm scared of not being able to provide for my children.
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I'm one year away from graduating with my master's in social work, But that's still a whole year where I can't really work full time because of the commitment to the school and internships and everything else. I just don't know what the right thing to do is. Ideal outcome, I'm afraid that if I don't have some kind of commitment to him, that he is not going to support me.
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I want to be able to finish my last year of my master's program and have a good, supportive co-parenting relationship.
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Yeah, he did. And I think even when I turned 18, there was still a pretty significant amount. I know they went so far as to garner wages and take money from tax returns and everything. There's ways you can go about it, but the reality is a lot of that takes time. Some moms do not get support regardless of if it's court ordered and the money never comes or they lie about money and, oh, I made $0.
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Meanwhile, they got paid thousands of dollars in cash under the table.
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There are so many games and it can be so hard. So even if you have the system and the system works right and correct as it should, it can sometimes still fail.
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Yeah. Yeah. There's, I know it's, it's typically been associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, but yeah, there's a variety of those same groups out there for no matter what you need.
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I don't know, too. I think this is something that has been so interesting to me through some write-ins and Reddit stories and just, you know, conversations. But I don't know why... there is such a negative connotation with single mom and being a single mom. And it's almost viewed like it's a failure in a way. And I actually think the opposite.
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My mom was a single mom for a majority, you know, my dad, Jerry came in and stepped in, but you know, then he moved when I was in eighth grade and my mom, again, did it all by herself again. Like she's got three kids, three different dads, but like, kept roofs over all of our heads, kept us fed. We had clothes like it is so much harder to be a single mom.
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So why is it looked at in such a negative or like it's a failure? Like you're putting yourself first and your kids first. It is so impressive and it just shows so much strength for your kids. You know what you deserve. You know what you're not willing to put up with. And you're going to demonstrate even healthier, even better relationships.
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There's a line here in your additional info that I just want to read. I also mentioned the fact that my older child has a different father biologically because her father walked out a year after she was born and was inconsistent from day one. So I carry a lot of guilt not making things work with my current partner because I feel like I'm letting my daughter down again. And I'm letting my son down.
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And it's just very disheartening knowing that I brought two children into this world and they don't have a home with two parents because of decisions that I've made. They don't need a perfect home with two parents. They just need you, a loving, strong, supportive parent who keeps them safe, shows them what love, good love looks like.
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And yeah, they're still going to hopefully have a relationship with their dad, but it doesn't need to be this one that's in front of them that is toxic and unhealthy.
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You're a year away from finishing school, master's in social work. That is amazing. You're so close. So if you have to sit down and have a conversation with him and say, you know what, I'm a year away from finishing school. Let's find a situation that works for us. Living together, co-parenting. It's clear we just don't work as a couple. This serial cheating is just not healthy.
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We both deserve to find our people. I have a year left of school. How can we make this work?
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And if he doesn't get on board, then you might have to really look into other options, whether it's moving in with family or... I don't know. It's so hard because as a former grad school student, like I know the grind you are in and the internships and all the hours and the studying and probably taking your boards after you're graduating. So I see where you're at.
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And if he doesn't accommodate that, then we're really going to have to get back in and dive deeper into solutions. But I'd start there.
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Yeah. And honestly, child support, if he's not going to get on board, he is still that child's parent and child support. And same for your first child. That father should be paying child support. They shouldn't be able to just walk away. That's not how life works. You are responsible for this child. So you should get support that you are rightfully owed. And it's not just you.
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It's the fact that your kid is rightfully owed that support. That is to make their life better and easier. And even if that's money you don't want to use, you should be collecting it and putting it in a fund for your child then. It's their money for college, but that is rightfully owed to them.
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I always think finding a support group can be so, so useful. Whether it's grief, I think a grief group, I've seen people just come out the other side of those so, so much more healed than they ever thought they would be. So it's always great to look into a group and find others that are going through similar circumstances as you. It can really help.
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Some people don't work like that, though. Mentally, they just are cuckoo.
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Hopefully he sees it that way. But again, keep us posted.
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Trigger warning on this next one. It does include talks of loss, cancer. So please skip if you can't handle that today. Number four. Hi, before I start, I just want to give you a big thanks for all the work Morgan, Justin, and you have done with Two Hot Takes and Father Knows. Your takes have helped me so much in the year I've been listening to you guys. Now on to my issue.
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My friend from high school is struggling at the moment because her older sister just died of cancer. I'm having difficulty knowing how to talk to her the correct way, I guess. You know, there is nothing I can say to relieve the loss she is experiencing.
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Although I've never experienced a loss so close to me, I would hate it if someone told me, quote, she's in a better place or she doesn't have to suffer anymore. How can I be there for my friend in a way that is not insensitive but also strong enough to let her know I am there for her?
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Also, I feel guilty for the good that is happening in my life right now when someone close to me is experiencing death. I don't know if I should tone down my activity on social media or keep quiet because it just doesn't seem fair. Ideal outcome? My ideal outcome is that I can be there for her in an appropriate way during this difficult time.
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Yeah, I don't think it's anything that... you want to ignore or sweep under the rug. I think oftentimes early on in stages of grief, like distraction or just going to a movie together and being there with her, doing something can be really impactful. But also just telling her straight up,
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I don't want to push you, but I just want you to know that I'm here for anything that you may need, whether you want to go on a drive or go to a movie or talk. Let me know.
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No. And it can be awkward too. I know for me, like I have a friend and it can feel awkward at times because like you don't want to mention it and then hurt their feelings or, you know, you don't want to talk about your happy thing. And then it feels like distasteful because of their loss and everything they're going through. But Just be a friend.
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I think especially early on, it's just so important to show that you're there and she can talk to you. She can come to you. She can ask you to hang out and you're not going to treat her differently or you're not going to make her feel weird. You know, showing you cares is what matters most.
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No. And I know we're going to have some listeners out there who may have been the friend or may have lost someone. And I'd love to hear what helped you the most, especially if you've lost someone. Like, what is it that someone did for you that really made you feel good? good.
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I know it's kind of one of the typical things and maybe it's a Minnesota thing, but I feel like it's an everywhere thing where you bring over a hot dish or lasagna or you bring over food and that's really nice for a family early on because the last thing you want to do is cook and make meals for yourself. But bring over flowers or a card or gift cards can feel good. So
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regardless you know i'd love to hear things that have helped you guys i i one that just came to mind is like maybe asking her if she'd want to make a quilt of her sister's t-shirts and that might be too soon but like that's something i would find meaningful my aunt gave me um a pillow of one of my grandma's flannel shirts that she always wore so that was really nice to get um
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Just, you know, just be there. So I'm sure people are going to chime in in the comments with a bunch of really good ideas. So be sure to check those out. But keep us posted.
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Moving on to number five. Hi, Father Knows Something. I've been a longtime listener and truly appreciate the advice shared on this podcast. My dad passed away when I was five years old, so it's been comforting to feel part of the community you, Morgan, and Justin have built. Now on to my story. I'm 29 female and I've been dating my boyfriend Jack, 31 male, for five years.
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Before meeting Jack, I was in an abusive relationship. Being with Jack has been a completely different and healthy experience. The healthiest relationship I've ever had. We're deeply connected and our communication is amazing. However, there's one recurring issue. Jack's ex, Brittany. She's blocked on all platforms, social media, phone, everything except she can still email him.
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Jack made the decision to block her as a boundary because she was verbally abusive to him during their relationship. She also burned many bridges in her personal life and ruined his credit score. Even though he paid for everything while encouraging her to pursue her art career, she is very manipulative. After their breakup, he blocked her and moved on, and then we started dating.
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For context, I never asked him to block her. This was entirely his choice. In the five years we've been together, Brittany has emailed Jack three times. Each email has been unsolicited, giving life updates, and asking to see his dog because she misses it, and even sending old photos of them together. Jack has always been honest with me and shows me every email she sends.
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He never responds, explaining it's a door he has no interest in reopening. While I trust Jack and appreciate his honesty, I feel disrespected by Brittany's persistence. I don't understand how someone can't take the hint when they've been blocked everywhere.
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For context, I'm friends with one of my exes, but I would never dream of sending old photos or reaching out in a way that could undermine his current relationship. It comes down to a respect thing. What's frustrating is that Brittany seems to always have ulterior motives. My question to you is this.
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Should Jack send her an email clearly stating he does not want to have any communication with her, or is it better for him to continue ignoring her entirely? Thank you so much for the advice.
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Yeah, he's having a good time. Okay, let's just scoot you over so I can read.
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Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's worth it. It's kind of one of those things that, like, I understand why it is annoying to you. It's weird. I don't think he needs to say anything, but I think he can block her on the email. I think, like, don't even let those emails come in anymore. Can she create another email if she's really that desperate and wants to reach out? Yeah.
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But the bottom line is you have a great relationship. You have a great partner, one that is honest with you and communicates when she reaches out. So let the girl be goofy. She's trying to worm her way in. She's looking for a door, a hole in your relationship, and she's not getting it. And she'll find her next person and hopefully finally leave your boyfriend alone.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of a response. I think it's just a waste of time and energy. So block her on the email. And if she then continues to reach out, you might reevaluate then.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
No. And I've heard it's good to get a new email every couple of years. So maybe there's that.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yes, we have a number six. Hi family, I don't know who else to go to, so here I am. I, 20 female, am struggling mentally with trying to help my dad, 45 male. My dad is the light of my life. I am unapologetically a daddy's girl. With that being said, I want to help my dad hand and foot with whatever he needs.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He is struggling right now. Since before I was born, he's been a jockey. It is his passion. My mom was also a jockey, so I dove headfirst into the family business and adore the horses. Within the past couple of years, my dad's career has been tanking. Not because he's bad at his job. He's easily one of the best riders I've ever come across in my entire life, and not because he's my dad.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But it's tanking, and he's having a hard time with money. I try and fork in a few hundred bucks every week, but I also have bills I have to pay. He's made the smart decision to move to a different racetrack, and while I'm sad about it, I want what's best for him. He's mentally not doing okay. He gives his all to everyone, and in return, he gets screwed over.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He doesn't have money for a new car, which he definitely needs, but refuses to acknowledge, and he has rent to pay where he lives down here, and then rent at the other racetrack he's going to. He won't allow me to help him find a good place or help him get a new car, and it's even a fight to have him accept the money I send him.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I've thought about picking up another job, but I work from 4am to 2pm and I'm genuinely burnt out from working and only get a day off every other week. I don't know what else to do. Any advice would help tremendously.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah. So I live in a horse neighborhood near L.A., And a big thing in my community is people needing help getting their horses out and exercised. A lot of people are busy professionals. And, you know, there's the Los Angeles Equestrian Center that has a bunch of boarders. And there's riding stables. There's huge horse communities. There's Hanson Dam, the Hanson Dam Equestrian Center, Shadow Hills.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I need help every week. I'm super busy and I always want to ensure that my horses are getting enough exercise and getting out there. So I have a guy, his name is Francisco and Francisco is a jockey and racehorse trainer and he comes and rides my horses for me. And I pay Francisco $50 a ride and a ride is, you know, at least 35 minutes. Sometimes it's an hour, but I pay him 50 bucks a ride.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And I'm not sure what your dad is making, you know, on the track. I know some jockeys can make as little as 20 bucks a ride. I know it can be as good as a thousand. I don't, I don't know, but I'm just saying like, based on your story and you know, him tanking, as you call it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I am. While the dog is very, very, very cute, he smells terribly. And I started gagging you guys. I couldn't sit next to him. That's not very nice. He really stinks. I don't smell it. Well, your sense of smell has diminished with your age and wisdom. So it's there. It's definitely there.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
There's alternatives. And there's so many horse communities. Like, I don't know what track you're near. If it's Santa Anita, Del Mar, or if you're in Florida, you're on the East Coast. I'm not sure where you are. I'd love to know. So please... send us an email or resubmit a form with your email so we can reach out.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But there's horse communities everywhere and people want good riders, good trainers, people that are willing to have patience with their horses and treat them well and get them out and get them exercised. So
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
it might be a little bit of a pivot it it could be such a lucrative business decision for him to pivot and still be involved with horses and have that love and that passion and maybe even like his job more i mean for you to work and you have one day off every two weeks You are grinding. That is a lot of work. And riding horses, it is physically laborious work.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So it might be a good fit for him to move to more of a training side or exercising ride for regular folks and not those high-strung thoroughbreds.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And I will tell you, like my guy Francisco, he is booked and busy. Like when I go out and ride, every time I see him, he's on a different horse. He is riding so many people's horses in our community. So it's definitely needed.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He trains little babies. He kept some of his little baby racehorses at our house a couple weeks ago.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Keep us posted. I really want to know. And honestly... Daughter knows something. Yeah. This is a very niche one. And I didn't even pick this one. Justin popped it in here. So it's just funny how small of a world we live in and the connections we can all have. So... I love it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Okay, number seven. This one does talk a little bit about losing a parent in a traumatic way and just kind of experiencing that loss young. So if you can't handle that, please end the episode here. And we really appreciated having you guys. But last but not least. Hi, Dad, Morgan, and any other FKS crew on today.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I'm writing in today because when I was eight, my father passed away in front of me, and it's something I've never really recovered from. Right now, I'm about to be 23, and I'm feeling objectively lost in life. I don't really know how to do much. I've been living on my own, but I'm in so much debt from times I was struggling.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I really wish I could truly ask my dad for help and know what to do, but he's not here anymore to ask. My mom and I are not on good terms, and I don't feel I can trust her with my problems, nor could she help solve pretty much any, as I feel I got most of my bad habits from her. Not that I'm not to be held accountable for my own actions."
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Either way, I guess I'm just looking for some fatherly advice on where to go, how to deal with crippling depression that has almost hospitalized me three times, and what I can do to honor my dad truly. Thank you so much for reading. Ideal outcome, get some fatherly love, guidance, and reassurance on what to do now.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah. We bought those California resident tickets, so it makes it a lot cheaper to go. It's like $60 a ticket versus what feels like $160 a ticket. $4 million a ticket. It's it's gotten a little crazy. They raised parking again. I'm just like, oh, my God. So we went to Disney as like a nice little reset day. And then I went to the dentist and I have a cavity.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I also think the best way to honor someone is, you know, be happy. Think of them. But your dad, your dad would want you to go out and live life to the fullest and be Do what makes you happy. And right now, you don't know what that is, right? You're lost. You don't know what purpose. You don't know what you want to do.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You say you can't do much for yourself, but you're living alone, which that is a huge, big thing to do. So you're clearly capable. I don't see any mention of a partner or kids. And if I were in your position, I would do an eat, pray, love type journey.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah. He's very, he looks super soft too. It's, it's very deceiving. You think, oh, he's so fluffy and soft.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I would pick something that you're interested in and passionate about, whether it's horses and you want to go work on a horse ranch or, hey, maybe it's wine or you don't even like wine, but you want to go live in the south of France and experience that journey.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
There are so many places all over the world where you can go and work there, decent hours, not crazy 24-7 hours, and they give you a place to live and then you can explore and meet people and live life. I would travel. I would see the world. I would meet people and I would find your passion because what you're doing right now isn't working. And you got to shake it up.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You got to try something different. Your brain is in this cycle and you got to get out of the cycle. How do you do that? Mix it up. Mix it up.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
No. Stinks. But here we go. We are getting back on track with the right idea.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
been in my deepest moments of depression like doing anything sounds absolutely horrendous horrendous going to a pottery class yeah fucking right but most of the battle is getting there is getting through those doors is going to those places it's getting there but once you're there you're like oh what was I so nervous about why did I put up such a fit to come here it's So nice. This is great.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
What do you got? Story number one. One.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I need some advice on how to handle my boyfriend's family. Here's some backstory. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. He is the sweetest man I know and I truly could not ask for better. My boyfriend's younger brother, we'll call him David, got married a couple of years ago. Him and his wife, Jessa, now have a little girl.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
the world is your oyster. I mean, if you don't have a passport, get one. I just think there's so many opportunities out there that you could go and really adventure, whether it's Europe, Thailand, Africa. I mean, I've got a friend who after college had no idea what he wanted to do. He I don't even know if he was lost or if he just wanted a good time. I don't know. I don't know.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But Dave decided, I'm going to go teach English in another country for a couple of years. And he went to Taiwan and had the most magical experience and came back such a bigger person and really had a sense of purpose and passion after that. And If I, again, if I was in your shoes, I would, I'd be traveling abroad. Go live life and you will discover your passion and take baby steps.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah. I will say, I will say, you know, it can be tough. We can be our own worst critics, our own biggest barriers, but it doesn't sound like you have much of a community. And I highly, highly recommend, you know, we started off at the top of this episode talking about groups and groups for grief counseling or groups for, you know, addiction and family members involved in that. And
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I would say like start talking to people who might have gone through something similar or start building your village because you don't need blood family. You can have your chosen family and that can be just as big and special as important too. So reach out and start building your village and connecting with others.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And I think life will start to feel a lot easier and fuller and bigger when you do.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
No number eight today. No number eight.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
The different chair? Yeah, I can start to smell him from over here.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He's so cute, but really, yeah, we need some potpourri.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Well, he stinks. He can't hear me. He doesn't know what that means.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Jessa has mentioned that she wants quite a few kids and I have good reason to believe she is pregnant again. My boyfriend, however, we'll call him Joe, has a third-generation name. We both agree we would love to use this name for our future son, as it was his grandfather's, his dad's, and now his, my boyfriend's name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
The issue is we both agree we don't want kids right now, as we are still in our 20s and not ready to take that on. Should Jessa have a boy, I have good reason to believe she will use the family name, as it is sentimental and she would be having the first grandson in the family.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I can't help but feel afraid that Jessa will A, have the first grandson in the family, she already had the first grandchild, and B, name her child the sentimental name I so desperately want to use in the future. How do I handle not feeling envious of Jessa getting all the attention for having the first grandchild?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And how do I not feel annoyed that she will most likely be using my boyfriend's generational name for her child? Thanks in advance for the advice. Backstory, Jessa and David have both previously referenced liking the family name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Ideal outcome, to just be happy that Jessa had the first grandbaby and not be jealous about it, and to come to peace over her naming her child the name I've wanted to use for years.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So I'm going back to the dentist on Thursday. So it's just, you know, one of those one of those weeks.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah, and I think it needs to be brother to brother. You guys are in-laws. You know, you kind of have this degree of separation. It really needs to be your boyfriend, Joe, whose name this is, going to his brother and saying, hey, this is my name. I will be using it if I have a son. Mm-hmm. So be prepared. If that's a name you decide to use, we will have kids, cousins with the same name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And the thing is that, you know, this other girl might not understand just because she chooses to name that baby, her baby, if it's a boy and whatever, that same name, it doesn't mean she has the fourth. It's not Joe the fourth. Mm-hmm. Because that's not how it works. It would just be Joe.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So I think maybe that's a conversation you and your boyfriend have. So then your boyfriend can go to his brother and be like, hey, just so you know, you just have Joe. I'm Joe the third because it's a direct line. My son will be Joe the fourth, but you will just have Joe. Just want to make that clear. Like, because that could be a draw to this.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And it could be a big part of the reason why they want to use the name. But it doesn't work like that.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah, and the thing is, I'm very curious what your dynamic is with her because it is kind of odd. I know it's a family name. I fully get it's a family name, but it's also your boyfriend's name. It's not her husband's name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I don't know. It's just, it's interesting. I could see wanting to honor your father-in-law with a middle name, but I think it's weird to take your husband's brother's name. That's just me. I'm like very weirdly like names are so important to me and so powerful for me that I do understand your feelings of envy, but you are on the right track of like I don't want to be jealous.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I just want to move past in a positive way. And I think really having a conversation with your boyfriend and letting him take care of it is best because also you guys are just dating. You're not engaged. You're not married yet. So it's really protecting the name for him.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah, if we have any listeners, any family friends that want to let me go have dinner there.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Typically, but if you have a tradition to name the son from that line as Joe, that is a family name. That has meaning within the family. So that could be a family name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That's right. It doesn't work like that. And maybe Jessa doesn't get that. So I would have a conversation with your boyfriend, let him go and talk to his brother. But moving on.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Number two. Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin, and anyone else there today. I am 32 and recently moved in with my parents. It's a great decision overall. They wanted to move to the area I live. We found a great place with four acres for us, my horses, and we've had some settling pains, but so far it's been great. My only issue is my dad will not stop feeding my dogs treats, human food, etc.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I buy and give him the healthy treats that they can have, but he continues to feed them other human food. I'm absolutely not opposed to giving the animals human food, but I always research what foods are okay and healthy to eat and avoid high-fat, salty, etc. food.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
My dad has no consideration of this and will set down every plate he finishes to let them lick clean, plus tosses them lots of chips, fatty meat, sugary food. I had to explain why he could absolutely not set down the rotisserie chicken carcass for them. I have repeatedly told him to stop. One of my dogs is a chihuahua mix and really little.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He's prone to obesity and all the issues that follow that. Tonight, I walked into the kitchen to a bowl on the floor with mint ice cream with chocolate chips.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
When I confronted my dad asking if this was chocolate, he got defensive and denied it. I'm at my wit's end. I don't know how to express the severity of this and set absolute boundaries right now. Despite him being my parent, I'm an eldest daughter, so I'm comfortable asserting myself and expressing boundaries. He's just not taking it seriously or listening to me.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Just peek behind the curtain one time.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
From a clearly more emotionally mature dad to an exhausted daughter, I could use some advice.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You do. So what do you do with a parent that is just not getting the message?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah, this is a different level of not respecting what you're asking too.
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149: Father Knows: In-Laws.. Pt. 2
Oh, fuck it. No, you don't have to. No, I'm not going that far. No, no.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah. I mean, this is something I've really taken into consideration because having my grandma at our wedding is so, so, so, so important to me. And I really did toy with the courthouse wedding. Like I was, we just, we couldn't get it done in time. But like, if you can, I think a courthouse wedding is beautiful. Honestly, I think it's kind of the way to go.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You do a small intimate thing with the people that matter most, and then you throw the party. And Really make it what you want it when you can. It's so important to have the people you want there and let the party come with time because weddings are a little pricey.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah, a little courthouse. Probably would be. There you go.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But keep us posted what you do. I think you you have even a ceremony. You don't officially tie the knot, but you have a ceremony. You exchange vows with everyone. That might be a way to do it and then wait to like do it for real. But I think I would do something to commemorate them, your relationship and all of all of it. But OK, let's move on to number three.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Number three, my sister invited everyone in my family to her wedding except me. How do I move forward? Hi, Morgan, Justin, and Jerry, longtime listener of both podcasts. I look forward to them every week. First time submitter here, and I could really use some outside advice on this situation because honestly, I feel completely blindsided. I, 25 female, am the oldest of three sisters.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
My middle sister, Jill, 22 female, is the classic example of a middle sibling. Rebellious, bold, outgoing, and always trying to be the most different person in the room. Growing up, we got along for the most part, but things took a turn during COVID. That's when I realized she was actively making my life more difficult. Stealing my things and hiding them from me. She took my car keys.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I had to use the spare for a week. My student ID to take the train to see a guy. And the worst, she took my car when she had her own and I only found out because I found a condom in the driver's seat. Fast forward to adulthood. I thought things were getting better after she moved out, giving us both space.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Whose takes are we going to get? Dad's on what we should do.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But lately, I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort to mend our relationship, and instead of meeting me halfway, she's built up a brick wall. Every interaction with her feels like walking on eggshells, never knowing if she's going to be distant, passive-aggressive, or just outright cold.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
She's also made a lot of hurtful comments over the years that make it hard to gauge where I stand with her. When I asked her if I was invited to go dress shopping with her, she shot back, Another time, when I tried relating to something she was going through, she dismissed me with, It's like she goes out of her way to make me feel like an outsider.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
After all of that, I've still tried to keep things civil. But what happened this week really crushed me. My mom, my youngest sister Montana, 19 female, Jill, and her fiance Hunter, 26 male, all went to a hockey game together, something we've done as a family for years.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I'm not stressed at all. I don't think so. Which some would find concerning, considering we have a lot to plan still. But we're going to get into today's stories.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Jill was actually nice for once, which was a huge shift from how she's been acting lately, so I was cautiously hopeful that maybe things were improving. Me, my mom, my youngest sister, Montana, 19 female, Jill, and Jill's fiance, Hunter, 26 male, all went to a hockey game together, something we've done as a family for years.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Jill was actually nice for once, which was a huge shift from how she's been acting lately, so I was cautiously hopeful that maybe things were improving. But after the game, as we were heading home, the topic of Jill and Hunter's wedding came up. They've been engaged for a year, together for five, and from the start, they've planned a destination wedding.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Given how weird things have been between us, I had a feeling that I might be left out, but I never expected what I learned next. Right there, I found out that Jill had already given out the first round of wedding invitations. To my mom, my dad, and Montana. Everyone except me. And apparently, this happened weeks ago. I was completely blindsided. I kept asking for details, but everyone ignored me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It was like I wasn't even there. I shut down, ready to leave, when Jill suddenly pulled me aside, forced a hug on me, she hates physical touch, and said something like, quote, I know our childhood was rough, but things are getting better. I love you. It felt so fake, like she just wanted to look like the bigger person in front of our family.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Meanwhile, not one person stood up for me or even acknowledged how hurtful this was. I've since talked to my therapist about it, and I told Jill I need space for now, but I don't know what to do moving forward. The wedding isn't until October 2026 in Scotland, and they've mentioned a possible reception back home since neither set of parents will be attending the elopement.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
So now I'm stuck wondering, how do I move forward from this? How do I maintain a relationship with my family while keeping distance from Jill? How do I avoid making my family feel like they have to pick sides? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Enabling her behavior by the sounds of it.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah, and that's the thing here. I mean, your ideal outcome, I want to set boundaries with her that protect my emotional well-being while still keeping a connection with the rest of my family. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to take sides, but I would appreciate support in figuring out how to navigate future family events involving her.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Additional info, I'm honestly not sure if I even want to attend the wedding at this point, but what really hurt is how I was completely left out. The thing is, it was very intentional. You're being left out. I do think there's jealousy. There's insecurity. There's something going on here that's just deeply off about her behavior. Yeah, it's an infected sliver. It is.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And I think you just kind of have to realize... Not every relationship is meant to be, even when it's family, even when it's your sibling. This could just be a relationship where you two are two very different people and it's just not a relationship that's good for you, your mental health, all of that. So I think you do need to ignore it.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You need to almost treat her like she's a coworker, like she is... a neutral person that you have to be around and get along with, but you treat her like oatmeal. And as hard as that is, because you do love her, this is your sister. You want to have a good relationship. It just might not be meant to be. So yeah, I agree as much as I want you to go nuclear and just like lay down the hammer on them.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It's not worth it. She's trying to hurt you. She's being manipulative by that show of, Oh, I know our childhood was rough and Your childhood was rough or you were terrible to me growing up and you're still being terrible to me now. Huh? It's giving golden child black sheep and you don't need it. So just have your relationship with the rest of your family. Keep doing stuff and just...
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
ignore her as brutal as it might be. Initially it will get better. And I do think it'll pay off in the long run. Hey, you want to go to Scotland, go to Scotland, take a trip and see it. You don't have to go for the wedding. I think she's deeply miserable and this is weird behavior and you don't deserve this. I feel like it better.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
If you ignore it, especially. Correct. The less you want it, the more it's going to get in her head. Why isn't she asking me? I just think it's some game.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Don't engage. You know what though? Like I know. Here's the thing with this one too. If your family. is going to continue to enable the abuse your sister is subjecting you to, because this is not nice. This is kind of psychological abuse. And by the sounds of it, you guys are trying, you know, maybe there's context, maybe there's bigger fights.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Maybe there's other things that justify just her wanting to have a boundary and not invite you. I don't know, but the rest of your family is kind of enabling this. And if they continue to subject you to hurt and, um, We're all going to the wedding. You might want to distance yourself from them a little bit too. Feel it out.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But it sounds like your parents aren't even going to the wedding because it's an elopement. That's far. So who cares? Who cares?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I'm like, you want to come to a wedding? You can come to our wedding. As long as you'll dance and have fun and party. That's what we're vibing with.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Our signature drink, we're going to do Mezcal.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah. Nashville, you had like five margaritas. You were really fun at that show. But keep us posted what happens. I think you... have like a really common issue people have with family and maybe the wedding is like more niche, but like people do have this issue being excluded by family. And I'd love to know how you handle it and how things work out. So please keep us posted.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Anyone who's written in, we have a separate form in the description for the episode. So go to that one and submit your update, but we're going to move on to story number four.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
What number? Put those fingers up again. Let them know. Four.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I've been a longtime listener of THT and just recently started listening to FKS over the last couple of months. Welcome. Morgan, I'm sure you already know this, but you are so incredibly lucky to have such a gem of a father and mentor to guide you through life. Listening to Jerry's words of wisdom have been life-changing for me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I'm writing to ask your advice on how I can build up my self-confidence before my wedding day. For context, I, 28 female, am eloping with my fiance, 28 male, in the summer of 2026. I've struggled immensely with body issue my entire life, and I currently struggle with things like hyperpigmentation and acne scarring on my body.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
This has caused my self-confidence to plummet over the years, and I've become so self-critical. My fear is that I will let this take away from the special day and either not fully be present or not feel beautiful in photos. Over the next year, what can I do to get myself into a better mindset and build up my confidence? Any help is very appreciated.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And when you can – That's hard though as a woman. It is. It is. I think especially as a woman. Like you guys have such different – Body standards and like the way people talk about women's bodies, like it is like, as you said, like ingrained from a young age, almost this like self-conscious and hyper awareness of how we look. It's challenging.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
What is up? Like, are we not supposed to, maybe we should never have invented mirrors.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But how you sound isn't actually how you sound because of the difference in the way that your voice reverberates in your ears.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah, and that's really nice. I will tell you right now, Wedding dress shopping has been very, very challenging for me. I struggle as well. Like I've, I've got stretch marks. I don't like the way my arms look. Oh, I need chin light. But like we, we all go through this and like, there's going to be people on the other side of this camera that are like, Morgan, you're being crazy.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You're beautiful, whatever. We all go through it is what I'm saying. And I think the best thing is like try to find ways that are going to enhance your confidence. Like this is going to be a lifelong journey. As Ben said, we are our own worst critics. We recognize that. But OK, what can you do to feel the best?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
For me, I know I'm going to feel the best with a dress that makes me really comfortable and accentuates parts that I like and maybe hides things that I don't. My arms. So I went that way. I found a dress that makes me feel really good. You, it could be makeup. I've seen wedding makeup artists that are like, transform this bride with me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And it was a makeup artist who did her sister's makeup and her sister had... I think like a birthmark or something on her face. And her sister just really wanted that covered for her wedding day. And so her sister did this amazing makeup and like really did what the bride wanted. And you couldn't see that birthmark. And that made the bride feel incredible.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
So I think there's things you can do to feel great on your day. And you can start testing them now, doing makeup trial runs now, doing those things. But ideal outcome, I get to a place where I'm not allowing negative self-talk to impact my wedding day. I can be fully present and feel comfortable in my own skin.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Additional info, we'll have about 15 immediate family members present for the small elopement. So some of this anxiety I'm feeling is due to that. I'm actually very comfortable with my imperfections when it's just my partner and I just pretend it's just you two.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
There's only 15 people there and you're going to be most excited to hold your partner's hand and looking at them and just let that little love bubble catch you and kind of ignore everyone else. Um, I think, you know, being comfortable in your own skin, it's something we all struggle with. We're all working on trying to get there. And I think Therapy? I'm trying to get there. That's what I'm doing.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Absolutely. That's the mindset I'm taking.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It's going to be magical. Moving on, though, to number... We're going to go to number five. Number five. Keep us posted. Again, share what you did on your day.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Number five. Number five, but Justin's got to go to work, so it's just Dad and I finishing this one out.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Should I invite my parents' boyfriend and girlfriend to my wedding? I'm getting married in August, and I'm working on solidifying my guest list. My parents have been divorced for six years and are both in relationships but have not been remarried. I do not get along with either of these people.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
My dad has been with his girlfriend for six years, since before my mom moved out of their house, and she lives with him. My mom has been with her boyfriend for over a year. I do not have a good relationship with either of them and neither do my sister or my parents with each other. They were in tears the last time my mom and his girlfriend were at the same event.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I'm being pressured by my fiance and his parents to invite them as they are friendly with them and do not have any issues. Ideal outcome, I don't want to invite either of them, but don't want them to show up thinking they can come and confronting my dad and her not being invited makes me uncomfortable.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Additional info, I feel that inviting them will cause drama between many different people and neither of them will fit in with our small guest list. I do not spend time with either of them.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
My dad doesn't invite me to spend time with her except for Christmas, and my mom's boyfriend does not respect my request of not bringing up topics that make me uncomfortable or not doing things that I do not like in my own house.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah, that's a reality you could face. You could have two parents that say, well, my partner's not invited. I'm not coming. That's disrespectful to me. It's just, is it worth it? You know, you can have a day of coordinator. So if there's any drama, if you do invite them, the day of coordinator can say, hey, I'm asking you to leave. Thank you. We're not dealing with this. Mm-hmm.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I like to believe that people do keep it together typically for weddings. I know Justin and I have been like anticipating a little drama. You kind of strategically seat people apart or, you know, you give them a talk before and you say, hey, any drama you will be asked to leave. Like that's something we're doing. So you can do that. But it's your wedding day. You can do what you want.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
But also it's your wedding day. You probably won't interact with them very much. But it'll be an amazing day. Don't let people stress you out. That's the one thing about a wedding. I think we give people, other people, too much power over our day. Let that shit roll off your back like a duck. Tune more into your person.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
have another glass of champagne or a mocktail or whatever you're having and ignore them they're irrelevant irrelevant like yeah they're your people and your family and whatever but on your day like they're relevant it's really about you and your partner and your love and people only affect you how much you give them the power to like i know it's hard that's really hard to say but
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
That's the reality. So I would have a conversation with your mom and your dad and say, hey, I really don't want Julie there. I don't want partner there, whatever. And see what they say. If they take a stand, then you have a tough decision to make. But then you're going at it and, hey, you try to do it ideally how you'd want it. But then you have to pivot.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And then you have a day of coordinator and a security person. And it's going to be good.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah, you're done. No three strikes, one strike. You're out. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Dear FKS crew, first-time writer, long-time listener. You guys are awesome. I need some advice. Me, female, 35, and my fiance, male, 32, are having a hard time with a particular issue on spending time together. We have a wedding coming up in May that we are paying for out of pocket. We agreed that we would both work really hard to make this happen. That has become very true.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Both of our schedules are pretty booked throughout the week with work, fitting in any additional things like chores, and taking care of our dogs. My fiance recently got a new job doing sales for a startup company. He also runs his own small business. This leaves very little time to spend together.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
The issue that I am having is he doesn't seem to put any effort into making time for us to spend quality time together. His schedule is always fluctuating and he says he has to be really liquid. I know he's working hard to get the money together for our wedding. Am I wrong for wanting to spend more time with him?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I feel like I am begging him to hang out with me, yet I am also trying to be understanding to both of our demanding schedules. He still helps around the house and takes care of our dogs. Part of me wants to be told I am being needy and that this is normal. The other part of me is concerned that maybe we are not a good match with our idea of how much time we should be spending together.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Thank you for your fatherly advice. I never had a father who cared, so it's great to have some place to go. Ideal outcome, I can learn how to be okay with us spending time apart and we live happily ever after. Additional info, we communicate and are both willing to have hard conversations. With this subject in particular, he says he hears me and it sucks for him too.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
However, I don't see that in his actions, like planning something special for us, although we both are trying not to spend money. My head is spinning, and it's not the first time we've argued over spending time together.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah. I, I think it's tough. You really kind of give me a curve ball here at the end where you're like, also, it's not the first time we've argued over spending time together. So if it's a common issue that you've had your whole relationship and spending time together is important to you, it is tough to evaluate and then say, well, damn, is this my person? Your wedding's in May.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It's April 24th, though. I think you love this person. I think he's doing a lot, a full time sales job and a small business. It is a lot. It's hard to manage and maintain. There might be a breaking point where one's got to give or he scales back and is part time on on both. I don't know. I can really relate to you right now. Because I feel this way. I feel like I am burning a candle at both ends.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Justin's burning the candle at both ends. And we cannot find time to do certain things that we need to do, whether it's just getting our wedding invitations out. We still don't have those out. And it's really frustrating for me because I'm like, OK, we need to get this. We need to get this done. You need to come home early from work so we can get this done.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And we're both just really struggling to find the time right now. But I know this is a season for us. This isn't going to be the norm. Like we're not going to be normally planning a wedding while we work full time as well. So I look at it as a season. And maybe this is just a season for you. You know, you guys have made it this far. You clearly love each other.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
New job, new job is always more stressful. Wedding, you're both taking on extra hours maybe to pay for this big wedding. And I think you do need to ask yourself, a lot of you guys out there listening, what is this for? If you get to the point where you get the big wedding, but you lost your partner along the way, what is it really for? The optics of having a big wedding? The circus, as you say?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
So you have to ask yourself, what's really important here? Are you getting married to have a wedding? Are you getting married to have a marriage?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And that's a thing. Couples oftentimes forget to prioritize each other when they have kids or when they have other things.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
When they have a wedding. And you said here, you're not afraid to have hard conversations. You're both willing to do it. So sit down and have a hard conversation before this wedding and you say, hey, we need to prioritize each other. I know we have a lot going on, but we still need one night a week where we go out and we just have 30 minutes of at least quality time checking in, connecting.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I know. I'm like, wait, can you come and draw a guest at our wedding? It's so good. It's so, so good. Is she magnificent? Like a little horse, too? Are you kidding me? Justin in his space suit?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You have dogs. Take your dogs for a walk. Go to a park. Throw a ball and talk and connect. you know, me and Justin, we connect over horse tours every night. We could be so, so, so busy, but we still got to go outside and take care of the babies. So we go out there, we're cleaning poop, catching up, talking about our day. And it's still like, it's nice. It's connecting.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
So find a way that you can do it right now in this busy season. And if he's not willing to put in time, then yeah, maybe you call it off. But
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
No, not today. We are headed to Patreon though. You've already recorded one with Justin. Now you're doing one with me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
Yeah. And we do have weddings theme number two coming. So if you have a wedding coming up or you're having any wedding issues, write them in. But otherwise, head over to Patreon.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And let her... Let dad give her the tough love.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
don't know if it's necessarily judgment it feels like it's just becoming a lot you know you can only support someone and comfort someone and talk to someone about the same problem so many times before you get to a point of this is insanity yeah and it is detrimental to your mental health so I completely get where you're coming from I think if you want to have a relationship with her
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You kind of just need to like sit her down and say, hey, I love you. I want to have a relationship with you, but I can't hear about Sam anymore.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
This is a boundary for me. I've been told again and again and again by you. He doesn't treat you right. he's not faithful to you, X, Y, Z, all these crazy reasons or whatever she's been telling you. And you can just say, I know you deserve better. And it's very hard for me to hear. It is detrimental to my mental health. And I love you.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I don't want to not have a relationship with you, but I can't hear about Sam anymore.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And it's hard because you don't want to cut her off completely to where she feels like she doesn't have anyone if things do really go south with him. And it's hard to leave these relationships. I mean, we've seen it again and again and again. It's just a matter of time until she realizes she deserves better. That's right. And she's only 21.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
You know, this is the first relationship, real one she's been in. And she thinks this is what love is and you have to work this hard and fight for it. You don't, but... We all have to learn that lesson.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
For the optics. To me, it seems like it's more relationship. Because for a woman, who you envision as your maid of honor, you think about this for a long, long time. And if they're cousins, but basically sisters... it would be like you and Josie being estranged and Josie not being involved. Like that is your, one of your closest, most dearest people. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And so I think this big event is kind of putting it in a perspective of like, I need her in my life. Like this isn't okay. And weddings can do that. I think they, they get you really thinking. It feels like the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future, but like the wedding version, um, at least that's how it's been for me.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It's so good. It's so just amazing. Well, you'll have to arrange that. I'm definitely. You might see her sooner if I say, hey, can you come draw guests at our wedding?
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And just kind of gets you analyzing things and like making you recognize like, oh, I need to make, you know, so-and-so more of a priority or I'm sad about her not being there. Wish that friendship wouldn't have gone south. Like it does get you thinking.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
It should be solved now. Yeah, don't overthink this one.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
And that's what this is about. The wedding is again, being the ghost of Christmas past maybe, but we have a lot more wedding ones. So we're going to keep on rolling. You know, you you're, I hear your take. It might come into play in some other ones. We'll see. We it's a big theme, you know? So moving on to story number two.
Father Knows Something
166: Father Knows: Wedding Season..
I know. Well, today I'm really excited for today's theme. Since Justin and I have been talking about weddings, we've gotten a lot of wedding write-ins. So this might have to be two parts because you guys, you're kind of in the wedding trenches with us. It's that season. It's that season, that time of year. The chaos is about to begin. And what are we doing? Not stressing.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
So this is interesting. She decides to say, I'm done.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And I'm out of here. And he goes back and he goes, I went to a strip club and she broke up with me. That's the problem.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Let me get there. Let me get there. That's what he's going to say, but no one else really gets the fact it's not the strip club. It's the fact that he totally disregarded what was important to her and disrespected what was fundamentally needed for her.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And that is what the reason is. So when someone says, I went to a strip club and they left me, the answer really is, I ignored something that she point blank asked me not to do. And I blew her off and she wouldn't stand for it.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
You have to do something that is major that is going to get him the message that he truly fucked up. And he can say to himself, you know something? I fucked up. I really fucked up. And I will not do that to you again. I will not put her through this.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
That's, that's, that's the, the paradigm shift that he has to get to where he really realizes on what the issue really is here. And it's up to her to make that, to make a move.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
That you, you put the guy in checkmate that he realizes he's going to lose or he's going to lose his queen unless he, you know, gives up a pawn, but he gets to save the queen.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
So I have a friend, I have a friend that's big in the Chinese animal and doing this stuff. And she says, this is now going to be the year of the snake. And if you're a snake,
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
That's correct. And it's not the fact of the strip club. Because we don't want everyone else to say, you know, come on, give me a break. He went to a strip club and you're going to divorce the guy? That has nothing to do with it. The problem is exactly what you disidentified. It is that he totally disregarded something that you asked him. He didn't get it straightened out before he left.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And that's what he should have done. I mean, I have a friend. I've told this story before on one of the shows a long, long time ago. His wife said, no strip clubs. He went in the strip club. She actually found him in there. She pulled him out in front of all of us, pulled him out by the back of his hair. And we were too immature to really realize what the real issue is here. There was a deal.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Don't do it. I'm asking you not to do it. And he just said, fuck you.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
The one thing I try to do in any relationship I have is every little item. I don't care how small I identify it. And that way there's nothing ever gets missed. There's no question. Sometimes I can be a pain in the ass because I drive such little, little things. But at the end of the day, I know one thing. There's a hundred percent clarity.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Apparently, if you don't make the change right now at this New Year's juncture, going to a different direction, then you will be another 12 years repeating what you just did the last 12 years.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Absolutely. We're going to move on to number three.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
You do know that I have a weak mind because I'm old. I'm an old man with a short-term memory. We know. And you were taking advantage of me right there. That's not nice.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I don't blame you. I would rather get a tooth extraction than have to move.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Oh, this is screwed. This is going to kibosh your dream job.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I am absolutely drinking my rest in peach because Morgan's getting shocked because of the static electricity. This has been quite the circus here today. I hope you watched all our Patreons. If you didn't, go back and watch them. And now we are filming this coming week's episode of FKS. And apparently the theme is going to be crossroads. Morgan is getting saddled in.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
That comes totally in alignment with my idea.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And my daughter has had a lot of development over the past couple of years, partially because of the shows.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
So anyways, my daughter decided that her and her man, they're going to get a house. And she got this house and she said, you know something? I'm going to make this house cool. And she went right at it the right way. She tore it apart. She got a whole architect. She got everything put in place, what she was going to do, came up with a plan.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And probably I would say in the first time it was a year, but You know, it could be done, depends on how much you're really going to do, three to six months if you're not doing a major teardown. And as you go to these new communities, your job is to buy a home, turn it around, and then flip it when you leave. And you're doing flipping homes.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
You become a real estate developer on a small basis right off the bat. you've accomplished your goal. You might be doing more than one house. And as you're doing these, you're really making some money and you're having fun. You're creating, you're certainly creating and you're proud of what you do do. And then you let it go and you go to the next one.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And the next one, you say, you know something, I did this wrong on the first one. I'm going to make it better on the second one.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And I'm going to make it better on the third one and the fourth one. And it becomes a wonderful thing.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And by the way, apparently- If that ain't me. I got a better one for you. Apparently, you find your mate from your Chinese animal.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And you may find out if he's not your guy. You may find out another one. You do this for two or three or four years and he says, you know something, honey?
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I'm done with this stuff. Let's go nest. You've had all this experience building these and doing these homes. You do such a beautiful job. Let's do our last one. Let's make ours. And then you can keep doing this as a business with other houses, but we'll have our home.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
And I was very concerned about you and Justin. So she, for me, went through and did your gig. It turns out that you and Justin, on a rating that the best is nine of nine- That's about the best you can get.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Wait a minute. You got to be realistic too. If this job is not going to work for you and this relocation stuff is not going to work, this is time when you get to part and say, I got out of this thing with a warning.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
This is, it's all discussions and choices. And this is the only one person that can make these choices and decisions is you.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
If he's your person, it works. If he's not your person, it doesn't work because he's not your person.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Okay. So we're not going to roll on to number four.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
She said, no, no, that's not even pretty. That's great. She says, you guys are, your guys are just fine. And I was very excited to hear that because I'm a dad.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
If you want her to really be independent and you want her to grow, you got to sit, you got to step back. You got to let her do, you know, I always make a joke that I always, you know, that I'm brilliant, that I got to the part where I made my children raise me rather than me raise my children because they learn right from wrong, trying to control my actions and it developed them.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I mean, yeah, Morgan was out of hand for a little bit. When she was young at 16, she would go out with her friends and put Jägermeister in the back seat of her car behind the driver's seat. Shame on you. But she got a bottle of Tabasco sauce instead.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Anyway, the bottom line is that you must back off and let them make their choices, their decisions, their errors, and their successes. And they will rapidly make more successes and make you more proud the more you let back. So step back. Go worry about whatever else is in your life. Hang out with your husband. Guys have your life. Go take up ballroom dancing. Take up swing dancing.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Do the things that you guys need to do to work on your relationship and not worry about your kids. They'll be fine. They'll chime in.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I'm going to have to get her on Patreon, but I have to find a way to... This is funny, though.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
How do you see today and yesterday, your mom versus your dad?
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
You know, the most important thing is when you helicopter, you really disable them from their growth and be able to learn how to have their own friends and make their own choices and their own decisions. I mean, I pushed Morgan to go. If she said, I'm going to go to Chicago, I'm going to drive, and everyone would have a fit. You can't let her drive to Chicago by herself.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Yeah, I would take a, go grab your husband and go, go start doing, Go do salsa dancing.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Start dating again. Worry about you and him. Leave the kids alone.
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
I have a question for you, though, Ryden. I want you to tell me, how would you handle the daughter, right? that would be in high school and would call you every day and say, Dad, call me in sick every day. How would you deal with that?
Father Knows Something
155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Maybe it was me doing something right. I didn't climb down your throat. I just said, why don't we just call them when you're going to go to school?
Father Knows Something
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And most importantly, focus on your marriage now and your friendship.
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That's it. They're gone. Now you get to go back to the reality of back to the date when you were courting and you've just met your husband.
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I mean, I'm 67. I'm an empty nester. Finally.
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Let us know what you pick and what you're doing. Keep us in the know on this one. We want to really know about the positive things that you guys are doing in your relationship.
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That would be great for us to be able to pass that along.
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You can certainly get a hot dog, a nice beautiful buck and a half Costco with a Pepsi.
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By the way, do you know what I had the other day?
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We can do that because I have to go to Costco.
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Let's go. One more. Let's knock it out. We're on number five.
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This one is so easy for me. It's fuck them all. You got to go follow your heart and who you are and your family will certainly adjust to see how happy you are, I would hope. But you can't sacrifice yourself when you recognize something within yourself. You want to be with the person that makes you happy and makes you shine. I don't care if it's a man or a woman.
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We live in a world today, and yeah, we had some crazy elections and some crazy bullshit going on, but the bottom line is we are too far advanced as a society not to just accept politics. I mean, I have too many friends. My sister is gay. She is married to a wonderful woman. There's a 20-year age difference. I have another friend that, you know, her sibling is married. They've had children.
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I mean, I'm part of the synagogue groups where all my clients are, you know, are synagogues. And a rabbi that I know, a woman rabbi, is married to, is a lesbian, and they've had children.
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It's so common today, no matter how archaic, some of these politicians in these groups may think that they can go reverse stuff. We are too far ascended into the future to unwind what's really there. They may try.
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Where you are right now is that you are definitely branded yourself as a lesbian. You're committed that you want to find a woman. And all you want to do is be happy.
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And you're not, what are you denying? The fact that they don't think you're going to have grandchildren? You can have grandchildren all you want.
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You got to be you. You got to be you. The bottom line is you got to be you and you got to be true to yourself. And they'll never know what it is to be true to yourself until you absolutely educate them on it. And that's the important lesson here. They can grow, they can learn. They may not like it, but they might... at the end of the day, finally get it and get who you are.
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And I've always believed the truth will always set you free, no matter what it is. But some people say I live in la-la land.
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We do live in a world today that is much more open to be open about your homosexuality.
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I'm just saying as a rule, the world is much more knowledgeable. But I mean, back when I was a kid, I mean, it was just... Worse?
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I mean, in California. Homosexuality has been around forever.
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But we may not have come far enough, but we've certainly come a long way.
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Oh, man. You are really kicking them tonight.
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We've done like, you know, we're going to be like at 11 stories.
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You know, this is all a choice on you to accept what you want for your life. I mean, he's obviously making a lot of effort to be the man that you want him to be. As far as the sexual... issues that you're having far as his ability to hold his orgasm back and to, to be a more involved lover. There's urologists out there that can help you with some of this stuff.
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There's so many things from studies from Harvard that I'm seeing online that there are
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Yeah, I was kind of thinking, why did you waste your time writing? You should have made like three words. I think we're done.
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And the only one that can get you through that is you and maybe getting some additional assistance.
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Yeah, because you can't keep living life this way. If you can't accept it and you can't move on and you've tried everything, then really you have to move on with your life because it's going to be consistently draining for both of you.
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So the kids came home, found mom and dad back in bed.
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Both of them have to have that thought. They both have to have it.
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I always do believe that if you take a pause, something comes out of it.
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And you're going to have to really recognize the fact that when you make this determination, really you're making the determination, am I going to be happier by myself? Yeah. Because you're really starting to be by yourself. You're not really thinking that you're going to come out of this thing and the next guy you meet, he's the guy.
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You're going to have to really work on just being happy on your own. And then whoever comes in your life fulfills and embellishes that moment. But you got to be happy again, starting by yourself. Well, guys, that's the show. That's the show. It's a wrap.
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We're having a wrap party. Morgan and I are going to wrap at Costco.
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Okay. Good night, everybody. We'll see you at Patreon.
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You picked great stories. Come over. And by the way, come check us out for our group tea. It's a great place to meet each other, have great conversations. We do need to come up with a little different structure for group tea so we can keep things moving.
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155: Father Knows: Crossroads..
Yeah, you're jumping into your little comfy there, your little comfy zone.
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And since Dad's going to have his own Group T, he might bring a friend or two of his own and have them join and have some fun.
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I wouldn't even write any letters. I would just be done and move on with your life. And he said, what happened? You say, hey, you ignored my things. You demonstrated what you thought our relationship was. And I've moved on.
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So we'll see you later. And thanks so much for tuning in, being part of our family.
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No, no, no, no, no, no. Manscaped has been a sponsor. They have sent me a mower deck. A mower deck? The mower deck. I actually broke out the mower deck, and I have a story to talk about. So I'm going to bring the devices in and really show you what you shouldn't do. Oh, my God.
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You got the closure. This is it. We move on. Go find someone that's going to really pay attention to you and want to be with you. That's what you want. You want the person that wants to show up, not the person who doesn't want to show up.
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And you know the difference. We don't even have to pretend. We know what the difference is.
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Move on down the road, baby. We're going to move to number two.
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Did you notice? Wait a minute. Did you notice in the last show where my keys were the whole time?
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It looked like a fucking chassis belt. It was like here. I looked like I was mortified.
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All right, guys. We're rolling on number two. Here we are.
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No, we're not, because you don't have the thing opened up.
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Do I think that going to a strip club is a deal breaker that something's going to happen at that strip club? No. Do I believe in your thought that you have made it clear to him that you're uncomfortable with it, that the money should be going into your own home, that you have a new baby, you have a new... He may have said, look, we had plans to go to a bar. And I'm with the guys.
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And the bottom line is, is that there's a respect issue that you've asked him not to do it. That should be identified before he goes.
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And that's the simplicity of it. Look, I've been to strip clubs in my life. I used to, you know, when I lived in Duluth, that's where all the, everyone from, from the city government, we'd all meet on a Friday evening at five o'clock and, However, do I need to go to a strip club? I haven't been to a strip club since Duluth.
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Right. The thing was, in all reality, is you said, this is a problem. And he simply disrespected it.
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And that should have been identified before he ever went. He should have said, honey, we need to be clear what's going to happen. And long as you understand that what it is or what it isn't, and we can be at terms, either I will or will not go.
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Well, what happens is they fuck up the radar. Every time that your mate lies to you, And you know what the truth is. And they say, no, no, no, no, no. It fucks up the radar. And that is the crime. It's criminal in my book.
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And I just can't take this shit anymore. And what are we going to do about it?
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Okay. So here's my next question to you. He, he, he blew it. There's no doubt. He, he went off the reservation on this one. What does she do about it now at this point? Cause now she's got the power for herself to make her own determination on how to handle this. Let's really, let's take, let's go down this with the factors, new baby. Okay. She's dealing with some emotional stuff.
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He obviously is not interested in making sure I'm protecting her at all, because if he was going to protect her, he wouldn't have had this behavior. So what does she do?
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Right. Evidently, there's not a lot of money in this family.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
We have a red light and we're watching the guy next to us and we're going to pop the clutch.
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159: Father Knows: Thank You.. NEXT!
It'll be great. We'll see you in the backyard. And thank you next.
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I don't find that a weird way at all.
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Does he? Honorable guest. Yes, that little man.
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154: Father Knows: Re(Building) Trust..
And that's the thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We've had some issues with him looking up girls and having exes nudes. The trust has already been broken. And it's a matter of, can you get that back?
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Yeah, I mean, I've had some guys I've dated, and I was thinking about this today for this theme. I've had some people I've dated where I couldn't trust them. I initially did. The trust was broken. And after that point... I could never trust them again. You know, dated for a year after they cheated on me and I forgave them and we stuck it out.
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But you never, I at least, could never fully get that trust back. I was always looking over my shoulder, waiting to get another message from someone. And I did. I think when it's right, you don't have that insecurity anymore. Maybe initially, because I think with Justin, I was kind of like, he's a good guy, right?
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Like until they really show their true colors and you, you know, you learn by the proof in the pudding, so to speak. You kind of have some doubt early on. But after that, after especially three years, I think you kind of know who you're with. And if you can't trust them after three years or can't get that trust back, I think you're kind of mismatched.
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But, you know, if you do stick it out and want to build that trust back, that's going to take two, as you're saying, like there needs to be some inclusion and being like, Hey, no, no, no. These are coworkers. They're friends. Come on out with us. Grab drinks with us sometime. Come hang out. We're going to do a game night.
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But if he's not including you and he's excluding you, it's kind of a red flag.
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Some people would call that love bombing.
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He kept it up for quite some time and then even got with technology. Wow.
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Number three. Hey, Dad, Morgan, and Justin. Paige here. I met Morgan, Justin, and Lauren at the Seattle show.
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Hello. So my fiance, 29 male, and I, 29 female, have been together for three years. Well, where do I begin? Last night, my fiance, let's call him Todd, went out to a spiritual ceremony. He's very spiritual. I know these can run late. At 12.40 a.m., he texted me telling me he was on his way home. I fell asleep. He woke me up getting into bed at 5.30-ish a.m.,
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154: Father Knows: Re(Building) Trust..
So I was kind of grumpy from being woken up, but he told me he and another person ended up talking and vibing out. So they went and got tea at a 24 hour McDonald's. He did not tell me the person was a she right away. We have amazing communication and lots of trust. However, I'm truly struggling with this. This just happened and I'm not happy about it.
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The fact he was up all night talking with another female who he said, quote, they just vibed so well and talked so much about philosophy, spirituality, and life. I asked if he had mentioned that he had a partner at home, to which he replied, no, that never came up. Big no-no for me. So it's early morning. I'm just like, I'm not happy. This looks bad on you. He did get a little defensive.
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Mind you, his friends have all failed as friends lately. My dad just lost his battle with cancer in September. They were very close, and no one has cared to check on him except me. He feels alone and depressed. I understand this, so I also understand the feelings of being listened to and given the attention and time to to have a genuine conversation and connect with someone.
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So I am not trying to let this get to me. However, I cannot help but feel like this was wrong and it shouldn't have happened. If the tables were reversed, he would be pretty upset, especially if I dropped that it was a male that I just vibed with so well I lost track of time. I did tell him that 1% insecurity is telling me to ask if he cheated, to which he responded that Ew.
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You can smell my dick and hands. I promise nothing happened. He is not the cheating type, but he has had issues with sex addiction that he worked through with therapists and going to sex addicts anonymous. This was before me. It has not been an issue in our relationship. I'm just really depressed and insecure lately and losing my dad has really messed up my world. I was a daddy's girl.
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We did everything together. So I'm extra sensitive right now and I just can't get rid of the nagging feeling that I need to sit him down and reestablish boundaries because he did cross them. Ideal outcome? To not blow this up. I'd like to work this out and stay together for sure.
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I understand, like, taking the opportunity to make a new friend. You know, maybe he didn't know this would be a boundary for you or you would find this inappropriate or whatever. It's interesting that he was, like, from 1230, like, oh, be home soon. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, whoa, whoa, okay, no, I'm at McDonald's. I'm there for five hours.
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And somehow in that five hours it doesn't come up that I have a fiancé. Mm-hmm. That to me, that shift is very strange. But I think you really sit down and you have a conversation about boundaries and you get serious and you say, hey, I love that you're spiritual. I love that you find, you know, connection and meaning in this.
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But after like you come home or, you know, it'd be nice if you weren't out till 5 a.m. with a girl that doesn't know I exist. Like that just feels disrespectful. And I wouldn't do that to you. Like to me, it just felt like it just kind of hurt my feelings. I think you definitely need to have a conversation about boundaries and kind of reiterate why you're feeling this way.
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And it is honestly, it is inappropriate. Like, I don't think
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154: Father Knows: Re(Building) Trust..
Yeah. And it's not so much about like him and his intentions, right? Either. Like it involved two people. This girl could be going into this being like, I met this amazing guy. We vibed. I was so into him. We connected. We sat at McDonald's for five hours. She could have considered that a date.
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And it never came up that he had a partner.
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154: Father Knows: Re(Building) Trust..
Exactly. It's not just the fact that like what Todd did was inherently wrong. It was the fact that he didn't communicate with this other person. And like, I have a fiance or like, I mean, I don't know how it doesn't come up in five hours. Right.
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So I understand why you're upset. Completely, completely valid in that. And it is like you want to trust him. Obviously, there's some history there with sex addiction and that's a valuable context. We do have a little bit more info that I'm going to get into. But given all that, obviously, you've been together for three years. It's a decent amount of time and you want to trust him.
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So when something like this happens and it kind of pokes a hole in that trust, he's got to make it right.
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Yes. Why do you do that? Well, I got to make sure we address things first. Oh, God. So additional info, we asked, you know, is there anything else? Yes. In our first year together, he had a girl best friend and she was not genuine. She wanted him and she didn't like me. It got to a point where if she was brought up, I'd get visibly annoyed and bitchy. So he fucked up.
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He stopped bringing her up and stopped telling me when they were hanging out. So essentially he would lie to me about going alone on a hike when in fact he was meeting her for a hike. This happened once to my knowledge and I did find out through her story. So it blew up and I never told him he couldn't be friends with her, that he just has to be honest about them hanging out.
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He panicked and told her he couldn't be friends with her because I was so upset. So I lost it and I said, no, I didn't tell you not to be friends with her. So he messaged her again saying he misunderstood me and that they could still be friends.
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Well, let me tell you, the storybook novel I received from her, which then had me change my mind and told him if he chooses to continue this friendship, that he would be doing it single as well.
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That if he thinks being friends with someone who blatantly and harshly disrespects your person after you told them not to, it's just fucked up in my opinion. So he did end that friendship, but he also deleted all their conversations, which made me uncomfortable.
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I also think like, here's where trust and having faith in your person gets really tricky, right? Yeah. It is hard trusting people. It is hard wholeheartedly believing people at face value what they're telling you. But the bottom line is you cannot get through life with another person if you don't trust them.
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Story number one. I think I may have a crush on my fiance's best friend.
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And so having to read conversations to believe them or, you know, check on them or follow them and see it with your own eyes and, you know, whatever, like... That's not sustainable for a lifelong, long-term relationship. There's got to be a little see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. I don't know what I'm trying to say. You got to have some faith. And so with this,
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I think, you know, there's some communication breakdown here. And I really think you guys just got to get on the same page of like, I am okay with you having female friends or, you know, friends of different genders, but like, it's the communication. Like, I just want you to be open with me.
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And I don't want to feel hidden. I don't want to feel like you're going on a date to McDonald's until 5.30 a.m. and this person doesn't even know about me. That's inappropriate because what you're sending to her is that you're available. Anyone that has a fiance at home doesn't go to McDonald's on a date with a girl until 5.30 in the morning.
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You're sending signals that you're available and that's not appropriate.
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I feel like such a terrible person even typing this out. I've never had a crush on someone while committed to someone else. My fiance will call him John, and I've been together for three years. His best friend will call Aiden, and I have known each other for about four years. Aiden actually was the one that introduced John and I to becoming a couple because Aiden was with my best friend.
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It makes cracks. It does. And once those cracks are formed, I mean... it's easy for things to just keep breaking apart. It's tough. That's why it's just like, you don't have to hide things from me. And some people do. I mean, I've gone through this, you know, me and Justin have been together for six years now.
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And there's been times where like, he was like, well, I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to make you upset. And it's like, no, like you have to tell me because I get more upset not knowing or, you know, when it comes up, then I'm left in the dark and I feel stupid. It's like, just tell me. It just, it never, it never pays to protect other people's feelings.
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Like everyone's an adult. Let people make decisions on their own. Let people react. And you know, if you get a bad reaction and it's a reaction you can't work through, then there's an answer. Like we're just not a match. We're not aligning, but give people the decency of honesty and making decisions for themselves.
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Hello, family. I'm really struggling right now with an insecure attachment issue. Unfortunately, me and my boyfriend of literally almost five years have broken up. I am completely broken inside about it, and I have no idea how to move forward. I know that a lot of our issues stemmed from me being insecure and always accusatory about cheating, but I never expected it to come to this.
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This person felt like my soulmate, but I started to feel distanced the past few months. My heart hurts and I have no idea how to navigate. I saw this person daily and spent so much time together, so I'm unsure what to do now. Please help me.
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You know, I think this could be two things, right? Like the person says from me being insecure and always accusatory about cheating, but I never expected it to come to this. I interpret that as this person has had insecurities and doubt the whole relationship and regularly or sporadically, at least a decent amount of times over the past five years has accused the other person of cheating.
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So I read this and I just think... You know, he got accused one too many times and there was enough of a straw to break the camel's back. Very true. Because as, you know, the other person on this side of it, right? Like I'm imagining me constantly being accused of cheating. I know I'm not. I know I'm not giving a person... a reason to doubt me, but I, I can only handle being accused of cheating.
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That girl and I are no longer friends anymore because she has done some really hurtful things and would use me constantly. About three weeks or so ago, I started getting fed up with John. He always makes these mean and triggering comments to set me off and then claim that they're jokes. He has made comments about my body and has made comments about what I do at home as a stay-at-home mom.
Father Knows Something
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So for so long, so many times before I, it's just not, it's no matter how much I love that person, it's not worth putting up with.
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And well, here's where I go. I see two sides of the coin, right? I think you can work on yourself and practice self-care and self-love and get over that insecurity. And I also think sometimes there's people that can help improve your insecurity based on their actions and trust and being in a long-term committed relationship with them.
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But I think there's that third option that it doesn't matter if that person is pumping you up and making you secure. If you don't work on that self-love, you're doomed to fail no matter how good that person is because you're constantly going to self-sabotage yourself. You're going to be insecure.
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You're always going to be in your head like, God, he was a little late for dinner last night and he's been on his phone a lot more than usual. something's up. He must be talking to someone else. Like if you don't get over that, you're, you're going to self-sabotage again and again and again, no matter how good that other person is.
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You might be though. You just, you might be.
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Is it goofy? Yeah, it's definitely goofy. But I think you're in a place where you're comfortable enough where you're like, we're super solid. And hey, if something did happen, then we're clearly not right for each other. That would be correct. That's just kind of your mature mindset of it all.
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It's definitely goofy. I mean, I definitely, this came up recently with a group of friends just kind of talking about, you know, disaster situations. And I had a friend who stayed with us and she was like, my ex just reached out. And I was like, oh, like that, that was nice of him to check on you. And it was just like a conversation of like, Can you imagine if he asked me to stay with him?
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I also think I should mention that I was diagnosed with BPD and a mood disorder. He always calls me crazy because of it and puts me down when I'm experiencing my highs and lows. He never helps out with our son and just plays video games constantly. He makes all kinds of comments about me cheating and has even gone as far as checking my underwear for evidence of cheating.
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We got on this topic and she asked me, she was like, if Justin's ex had nowhere to stay and needed to stay with you, would that bother you? And I'm like, no. I'm like, if she really needed a place to stay and we were the only people she knew in this city... I wouldn't care because I'm so secure with us. Like, I know we're so unshakable. Like, she's irrelevant. And that's a good place to be in.
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But I have been in places that are not like that. Trust me. And, you know, I've had relationships with people and had partners that even them going out with their friends stressed me out.
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I just I can't inherently say what I did different in this relationship versus past. But I know I was more open and I was healed after a breakup. And I think I had a lot more faith in myself and my self-worth today. Knowing that if I couldn't trust that person, there's a good reason and I deserve better. And if I do trust them and they still break my trust and do something bad, I deserve better.
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And I think with this one, there's just some self-love and some self-work that needs to be done.
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Yeah. And you know, it's hard though, when your radar is off and this other person hasn't given you a reason to doubt them, then you got to work on your radar. You need to go back and do the work. And you know, we do have an ideal outcome here, how to navigate life like this and where to go from here. I know I need therapy for my issues, but I can't afford to go anywhere.
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There's so many free resources out there on YouTube, on podcasts that are hosted by therapists. Brene Brown is one. Mel Robbins is another. There's Cheaper Than Therapy that I met these ladies when I worked on another podcast they went on, and they're great. So there's so many resources out there nowadays that you don't have to go to therapy. You can still start working on yourself. And
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You know, at the end of the day, like you got to know you're enough. You are worth it. And the right person is not going to hurt you. But you got to be open to the right person and not, you know, so doubt. And then, you know, self-sabotage your relationship by accusing them of cheating. Like you're worth it and you deserve love. So I would just start focusing on within right now.
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Honestly, I know there's some people that the right person popped up 30 days after and we started dating. That's amazing. But for me, I needed the time to heal and find myself. I was single for about three years between a serious relationship and Justin. So I needed that time. A lot of people do.
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Even though he does those things, he still takes care of my son and I and provides for us and deals with me when I have my angry outbursts. I've been in therapy and on medications to help with that. I never really thought anything of Aiden before, other than that he is attractive. Lately, though, he's all I can think about and I have no idea why.
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Well, and one last thing before I move on. Okay. This person does say here, this person felt like my soulmate. Okay. I don't want to say like, this is the end. Like, if you were together five years, there's clearly love there. But get it together, then take the next six months to work on yourself, address your issues. And then maybe you'll reconnect. But like,
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you got to work on yourself before you can really get back into something serious.
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For anybody. For anybody. And do it for yourself because having those feelings of insecurity and worry and just spiraling in your mind because someone isn't texting you back or they're taking longer to get home or whatever, it's torture. It is a form of self-torture.
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And if you've been like this and you've been doing this to yourself in every relationship over the past five years and the five-year relationship before that or whatever, you've trained your brain to respond like that. You get Something is happening in your brain that you almost get off on that self-sabotage and that spiral.
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So it is going to be work to change it, but you will be so much better off if you can address it. But okay, number five.
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Number five. Hi, Dad, Justin and Morgan. I love both shows. Thank you for creating such a thoughtful and supportive space. My heart has been incredibly heavy lately, and I'm in desperate need of clarity about a situation that's been weighing on me. I'm a 41-year-old mom of three children, and I've been married to their father for almost 20 years. My concern is with our oldest, a 15-year-old son.
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When Nate was younger, my husband was often away for work, so it was mostly just the two of us. We spent a lot of time together talking and bonding. Before Morgan starts yelling enmeshment, I understand that relationships between parents and children evolve as they grow. I know it's natural for teens to seek independence and privacy, and I don't expect things to be the same as when Nate was five.
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But even knowing all of that, I can't escape how much I miss him. Nate is a great kid. He gets good grades, stays out of trouble, and is deeply committed to his extracurricular activities. Yet, the distance between us feels unbearable, and it often brings me to tears just thinking about it. He doesn't talk to us much or seem interested in spending time with the family.
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The only time he interacts with me is when he needs food, a ride, or something else. I hear him laughing and talking with his friends. He doesn't share that joy with us. When I pass by his room and hear him on his phone, I love it simply because I get to hear his voice. But his actions make me feel like he doesn't value a relationship with us, his family.
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I would never act on those impulses, even if I did separate with John, because I know it would hurt a lot of people. So I have no idea why I keep thinking about him and fantasizing about him. Every day, I feel like such a shitty person for having any type of fleeting thought about him because I'm committed to someone else.
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I've talked to my husband about this, but he brushes it off as a normal part of teenage development. While I understand that perspective, my husband tends to be emotionally detached in general, which has always been hard for me. I believe wanting to maintain a connection with my son is a reasonable desire, but I can't stop questioning if I'm doing something wrong.
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Is this dynamic just a normal part of raising a teenager? I went into parenthood knowing my role was to raise a happy, healthy, independent person capable of thriving on his own. I knew Nate wouldn't stay my snuggly three-year-old forever, and I was prepared for the challenges that come with each stage of childhood. But I also thought there would be things to embrace and enjoy in every phase.
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Right now, it feels like our relationship has vanished. Despite our shared interests, I feel like we're strangers. It breaks my heart to think that if, God forbid, something happened to me, Nate's main concern would be, who's going to make dinner? I've tried talking to Nate about this.
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I've told him how much our relationship means to me, but he just shrugs it off, saying there's nothing wrong or that he doesn't have anything to say. The anguish of feeling this disconnected from my own son is almost unbearable. How is it possible to miss someone so deeply when they live under the same roof? Do I need to accept that this is just how it is now?
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Or is there something I can do to foster a meaningful, age-appropriate relationship with my son? My heart is breaking and I don't know what else to do.
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Oh, my God. Josh Hutcherson is in there.
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I love John and I want to be with him, but I don't know how much longer I can take it. I'm sorry if the writing is awful. I'm just spilling out everything that has been on my mind for the past three weeks.
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Well, and I don't want to imply with that that our writer is doing anything wrong. I do genuinely think this is just teenage attitude. There is a little more info. When I first noticed this type of behavior, he was around 12. I don't know if it's his phone and social media playing a role. I fear if this does not improve, he will move out after high school and we will never have a relationship.
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I fully expect him to put his wife and family first if he decides to marry when he's older, but I still want a relationship with my son when he's an adult. And that, right there, I know you're not enmeshed because you would never want your son to get married or have a family, and you definitely wouldn't want him to put them first. So... Don't think you're wrong for your feelings at all.
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My experience and what I can talk on is what I went through with my mom. And I think kids do go through a phase of trying to establish independence and they get on the other end of the spectrum to try to get a little. They just go crazy. And I was definitely that kid. I closed off and did my own thing. But me and my mom had horseback riding.
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It actually, next week's theme is Crossroads, and this could have gone in that one as well. Or last week. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's a tough spot to be in.
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And despite me wanting to be independent and not being the same cuddly, sweet kid I was, we always were able to reconnect over horses and going to horse shows and getting up at 5 a.m., hauling three hours and competing. That was our thing. Honestly, it probably is the phone. It probably is social media. It's probably being a teenager. It's all of that.
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But I think there's got to be one day a month or two days a month, phones go in a basket and we all hop in the car and we go to a trampoline park or we go to the zoo or we do something. Camping. He's 15. He's probably going to pretend like he's too cool, but he's not too cool for that shit. And It's, you know, it might be forcing it, but it's like, hey, that's the rules.
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If you want a phone, if you want privileges, if you want to use a car when you turn 16 and have that freedom and that independence, it means buying into the family. That is what you have to do for those things.
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No. Having a job at 15, 16 was the greatest thing ever.
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It was not tough to get me to do it at all. You said you guys. Don't rope me into that. I was begging them to hire me at Perkins. I wanted my own money.
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No, no, I didn't want to be a busser. I was so scared they were going to make me a busser. I just wanted to be a host.
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Well, I wanted to be a server, but you had to host first. And I quickly proved myself. Yeah.
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It makes me just gag you guys today. I mean, I have really, I can't touch and cut up chicken. Cause if I cut it up, I can't eat it. Certain textures like instant, like if a banana is too ripe or not ripe enough. Um, yeah, I'm, Yeah, I'm special.
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I need some as well. Me, procrastination and burnout are mine right now. So if anyone's got good burnout tips, send them my way.
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And life is short. I mean... He's 15. He is going to college or somewhere likely in three years. Like you really have three years to enjoy this and get that relationship back a little bit because after that, like I will say like we do come around, you know, you go to college, you still kind of battle with your parents and
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After school, I think when you feel like you're truly an adult and on a level where you can be on a similar level, you do come back. So have trust and faith that you've raised a good one, but I think you can still work on it right now.
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He's got to buy in. No more of this emotional distance and checking out. You got to buy in.
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Yeah. Yeah. Please comment on this one. I know we have a couple people that have written in that are empty nesters now, and I'm sure you have advice on how to remain close with your kids as they're going through those teenage years because you've been through it. So if you can relate to this one and any of the others we've read today, please comment because there's some tough ones today.
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Yeah, I think open communication is great. I think, unfortunately, our buddy John here is also saying everything on his mind when maybe he shouldn't.
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I mean, when someone's... To be called crazy.
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I'm spinning with what you said, though. That could be him just venting. That's what's on my mind. And I think when you know someone has been diagnosed with a mood disorder or, you know, depression or anxiety or whatever, calling someone crazy.
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It's one of those words that just shouldn't be said. The amount of times I've been called crazy by Justin is zero. Have I acted crazy? A million percent. A million percent. I have my moments. A lot of moments. I get goofy, but like I've never been disrespected like that.
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And there's a line here that our writer says, even though he does those things, he still takes care of my son and I and provides for us.
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That's the bare fucking minimum. You deserve way more than the bare minimum. You deserve so much better than someone calling you crazy because you're experiencing highs and lows. You deserve so much better than someone prodding you, poking with you, and trying to get you to blow.
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And then saying, oh, it's just a joke when you do react. That's not love. That's not respect. That's not what a healthy relationship should be. And I think the reason you have a crush on Aiden is because you're so deeply unhappy about in your relationship that you're projecting what you want. It might not even be Aiden. It just might be a nice person that treats you with respect and love.
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And that's what Aiden does. So that's why you're looking to Aiden with like rose-colored happy goggles because you're not getting that.
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I mean, if our writer really wants to, they've been together for three years. They have a child together. I would assume it's his child. If it's not, I would kind of run. But if it is his kid, you guys have a long road together of co-parenting. So getting therapy and getting on at least a level that you can communicate together... might be good to consider before separating.
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Kind. I mean, just the bare basic level of kindness. And you don't deserve this. Everyone has their highs and lows, but to be prodded and called crazy, I mean... We can all act crazy. And I just, I don't know why that word, it's very triggering for me. I just think there's other ways to talk to people and show respect.
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It's an audio. Yeah. Yeah. Are we ready for this week's theme?
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I don't know. It's goofy, but ideal outcome. My ideal outcome is to work things out with John.
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No, it's not. It's not in the game. And to have this kind of treatment three years in only with a baby, it's kind of concerning, but I don't know. You'll figure it out.
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Yeah, I think there's a lot of studies that kids who witness parents fighting and abuse, the way their brain develops is different. So I think it's always one of those things. I know a lot of people stay together because of kids. And I just think that's never a reason to stay, ever. Because your kids are actually going to be better off in two separate co-parent homes with healthy interactions.
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Justin and I teamed up. He found most of them. But overall theme is trust. Like, can you trust this person? Is there a way to build trust? Is the trust just gone forever? Very broad and loosely based on the concept of trust.
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Yeah. I mean, honesty to a certain degree. I think, you know, we all have moments where you might think like, oh God, blah, blah, blah is being so annoying today. Like obviously you don't have to share everything. And if you have a partner where you can't even share small things, if you can't be honest with them on, you know, a base level, then that's concerning. Yeah. Why?
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Are you scared of them? Are you scared of a reaction? So you have to ask yourself those things. But keep us posted. We do have an update form in our description of our episodes. So please update us. But moving along.
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Number two, my boyfriend is starting to have more female friends and it's bothering me. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. We've had some issues with him looking up girls and having exes nudes. But recently I noticed on his Instagram, he was friends with one of his female coworkers. I asked him about it and he said he's allowed to have friends, which he's right.
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But because of what's happened in our relationship, I don't trust him or trust the friendships.
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He's friends with one of his dad's friend's daughters, and they were messaging each other. There was no flirting, but it still rubs me the wrong way. I can't trust him or it. I don't want to seem controlling. How do I talk to him about how uncomfortable it makes me? Ideal outcome, for my boyfriend to understand my feelings and why I feel this way.
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Yeah. And I mean, clearly, based on the writing here, there's been some background, you know, info that's happened in the past.
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I don't think that would have tasted very good.
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Guys, she has to put up with this stuff.
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You were holding out on us. He does this to me all the time. We have additional info and he's like, you were holding out.
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Yeah. Are you going to say hi? You just haven't said a word there.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I think you guys said it great. I don't know if I have much to add. I think it's one of those things that this could have ruined your life. She did it not once, but twice. And to ruin someone's credit, that could prevent you from getting an apartment or you know, sometimes a job depending on what background check you need.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I think it's hard because we want to have those relationships with our parents, even if it's not healthy or they're toxic. Like, that's kind of a yearning some of us have. And unfortunately, right now, like, your mom's got to face the consequences. And
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I would look into like changing your social security number so she can't open up cards in your name anymore and like kind of making steps to protect yourself. But I think you got to put some distance between you right now. And I mean... What boundary do you really, how can you make it any more clear? Mom, do not take out cards in my name. She's done it twice now. Yeah.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You hope there's not a third time. You know, you hope, you know, if she goes to jail.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
There is that saying, but I would, I would just take some time and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Let this play out and just kind of protect yourself and see if you can change your social and, you know, things that would prevent that identity theft. Okay.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
The gummy Kurt gave you too is a little bit of an upper. You need a downer. No, no, no.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Number three. Hi, dad and siblings. I'm on day 12. Lauren, you're a sibling now. You're a sibling now too. You're a sibling. I don't understand. What do you mean? Me and Justin, we're siblings. That's everyone's dad. Me and Justin, we're their siblings. Oh. You're now a sibling. We're like getting married. So that, I don't know about, like aunt and uncle maybe. I'm getting kind of old.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I mean, we do read about a lot of incest stories.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I'm on day 12 of stopping smoking marijuana, and I'm struggling. I'll start off by saying I'm someone who has smoked every single day from morning to night since becoming an adult. I'm now turning 24 in the beginning of April. Happy birthday. I've never even met myself. Because marijuana is one of those extremely accepted and praised drugs, I've never even thought about quitting.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
However, recently I've been suffering with some medical issues. I won't go into all the detail, but I really needed to take this break. And as hard as it is, I'm so proud of myself. As I said before, I've never met me. And I didn't ever realize that, lol. Now here I am, day 12, and I've taken up roller skating.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah, I had a friend who... Because you brought them over to my house probably after this experience.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Because I haven't been someone who can smoke marijuana at a normal level, and I totally abused it, it left me sedated for years, and I didn't have any hobbies. Hell, smoking was my hobby. I'm loving this new version of life that feels real and hard as hell. I don't know why I'm writing really, other than just wanting to tell someone and for you to maybe be proud, lol.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
All my friends don't get why I'm quitting, and they don't understand I need to. They say marijuana is not the issue, and I guess it isn't. I guess the way I use it is. Regardless, I have to for me, and I just need advice on moving forward.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Tears keep flowing like they've been bottled up for years, and finding the discipline to not grab a joint every time the cortisol rises and the tears flow has been so challenging. I just need this, and so do the people around me. I need to be a real person now.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Oh, well, it's the same thing. It's from Kurt, my brother's friend from growing up. Makes gummies in Minnesota now. And my friend took one and didn't really feel it, so he took another one. And I was like, those are 25s. He goes, oh, shit. He took two of them. And this guy...
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
That's a big woo for Elmo, anesthetized. What are your thoughts, Loewen? Well, my thought is that I've never heard that word before, so...
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Unnecessized. And impressed. Sounds like euthanized in a way. Oh, I don't like that. That's dark. I'm so sorry, everyone.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
receptors in your brain yeah yeah so i've heard this from multiple people too really like multiple people that like smoke a lot every day like an ounce like they're going to the store the dispensary every day and like they're like well it's not you can't get addicted it doesn't harm you in the way alcohol does and it's like it can yeah it can for some people yeah lks there she is
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah. I mean, find some friends that are in these new hobbies, maybe like that more aligned with where you're going and can kind of be, I don't want to say like sober buddy, but like, yeah, in a sense, like they don't revolve around smoking, which maybe your old friend group did.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
But I do just want to say, like, this is something I learned about OT school and I was like, wait, no, it's it's in the DSM five. And literally cannabis use disorder was added. It is an actual disorder that people can become too reliant on marijuana. It can cause anxiety, depression and a bunch of other negative things. So it is real. And what you're doing is good. So good. So good for you.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And to say like, I've never really met me. That's big.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You ready for it? That's big. So meet yourself. Keep meeting yourself. Keep doing the hobbies. And I'm really excited for you. Really excited.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
He had to put his headphones on and go sit in a room and just decompress. He had like symphony music blasting on his headphones and was just staring up at the ceiling.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah. And you see this a lot with things like I think alcohol is one of them. Like if you have, you know, one person in a friend group that doesn't drink and everyone tries to pressure them and it's like, oh, just have one or you're so lame. And it's like, let people do what they want to do. Like, don't be pressured. Like, I don't know why people do it. It's like,
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
They almost feel guilty about themselves? Yeah. Like what is that?
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Okay, anyways, we're moving on to story number four.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I'm getting married next July. I went dress shopping with my sister, aunt, grandmother, and future mother-in-law recently. It wasn't traditional dress shopping. It was an event where a pop-up bridal shop travels around and hosts one-day sales in different cities. I ended up choosing a dress at that event. I really did love it in the moment, but the more I tried on, it doesn't feel like me.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I plan on going dress shopping again, this time to an actual bridal store and only with my sister and one bridesmaid. The issue I'm facing is that my aunt purchased this dress for me. I'm worried about how she will feel if I end up finding something I love more and ultimately choose to wear that dress.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I obviously will have a conversation with her if I do find something else, but I'm not sure how to present this to her as I'm worried about hurting her feelings. I really do appreciate her buying the dress for me, and I have people-pleasing tendencies, so in a typical situation, I would likely put my own feelings aside, but I think this is one situation I can't do that.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
If I end up finding something I like more and don't wear it, I really do think I'll look back and regret my choice. How would you suggest I go about having this conversation with her? Ideal outcome, that my aunt understands why I may want another dress and not be hurt by my choice.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah, that's crazy. Two nights in a row. That's a lot. Yeah. I took a gummy last night to fall asleep and I use these gummies all the time. I love my gummies. And this one did not hit right. I had the most terrible nightmares. Didn't sleep that well. So I'm feeling it today after, you know, the past two days of recording four episodes and editing three already. So I'm like, I'm I'm sleepy.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah, that was nice. F-K-E. I don't know about that. I kid, I kid.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah. But this week's episode. Yeah. Getting into a few stories. The theme I have today, I don't know how to really explain it until we get into it. I was calling it, do not pass go. Like just do it. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Like you just, you got to do it. You got to do it.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
There's that. I mean, I, we do want to all be like really wishful in thinking like, she's totally going to get it. She's totally going to get, it's your wedding day and you want to feel good in the dress you're wearing. But I think, you know, there is the other side of that coin where she might be hurt. She might be upset. So if she is like, how do you really
Father Knows Something
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Let's pretend, though, she doesn't get it. What do you do? Like, what do you do in that world? Just in case, because we want to prepare our writer for the very worst, just in case. So, you know, if the aunt does get a little goofy... What does she do?
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Oh, fuck. That is actually a great unhinged idea.
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I think there's also something to be said about two dresses. We went wedding dress shopping in New York and I was kind of like you. I like pulled the trigger and I was like, oh my God, yes, this is the one. I got it. And I was like, oh my God, I hadn't been anywhere else. I hadn't tried on any other dresses. I spent only 90 minutes and tried on three, four dresses total. And then I got one.
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Like what? It's pretty though. It is pretty, but like... I was so overwhelmed. And then in hindsight, I was like, do I even like it? Is that the one? I have nothing to compare it to. So I think as a rule of thumb for any brides out there, go to at least three different stores before you say yes. Yeah. Before you say yes.
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Like three different stores, three different vibes, three different experiences, three different groups because I brought different people every time I've been. And you will know then when you try on the right one. Did you find the right one? What's happening with the one that you picked out when I was there? Well, I'm stuck with that one.
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So I don't know if Do Not Pass Go is the best title. Maybe we'll see by the time we get to the end of these, but let's see.
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I just I had when I went back to this other store. Yeah. When I went back to this other store in LA, Jackson James Bridal for anyone curious, there's New York, LA locations, but like it was such a different experience. It was calm. There was no pressure. It was just like truly about me and Zen. And I think that contrast, it made me like, okay, I could stop.
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I could really feel how I was in every dress and really like I don't know, like soak it in more. That makes sense. And not be so pressured and like not be like, oh, well, she's trying to make a sale and like, oh my God, I have to get my veil too because there's so much pressure to get a veil. And what if the veil is like.
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I know. And she comes up and like says hi. And I'm like, this is like the Kleinfeld experience. And it was just so much. And I do love that dress. It's going to be like my ceremony dress. And then I'm having something a little later that's not as like poofy and as, as big.
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So I think it's going to be a good match. So I think that also could be a solution for you. Like you have the dress that you really, really love for the ceremony. And then you switch into this one for your reception. It's going to get trashed. If you look at a bride's dress at the end of the night, That dress is gross. It's caked with dirt all over the bottom of the dress.
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So having two might be a great solution for you.
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It's hard because I'm like you, I'm a people pleaser. So I, when you have someone telling you like, oh my God, it looks so great on you. It's the best dress ever. You should get it today because like we're already on a crunch timeline, blah, blah, blah. Like, You start to buy into it and then you're like, OK, I have to do it today. Don't like it will work out.
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I'm like, I don't know how many months I have. May, April. Wait, no. April, May, June, July, August, September. I only have six months. Haven't really started planning my wedding yet. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. It's going to be great, actually. It's going to be a really good time.
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So it's just one of those things where it's like if someone's pressuring you at a store, like it's to get a sale. A lot of them work on commission. Don't buy into it. Take a deep breath. Take your time and make sure you're picking what you actually like, because it doesn't matter what anyone else likes. It's about you. It's like one of the only days in our life where you can be
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A bridezilla, if you want to be, but, like, don't do that. But it's really about you. Your wedding really is also about your partner, but, like, as a bride, you get the dress. All the attention's on you, really, so... Make it, make it what you want it to be.
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And it's, it's, I still had a good experience. I don't want to like totally shit on it. I did love my girl that helped us that day, but it was just when you have other experiences, it really contrasts. And it, there was just like a lot going on. There was like 90 other people in that room. Yeah. And one of the times I came out butt fucking naked, basically. Cause the dress was on mine.
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You're right. You're right. Yeah. I'm like, I could see like everyone's dads and grandpas. I'm like, here I am in a sheer dress. Like people at strip clubs wear more clothes than what I had on.
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Well, it's not my dad though. Like that's the difference. It's just so sad that he wasn't there. I know. And we wouldn't send him any pictures.
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It doesn't matter. Everyone's going to be surprised.
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There you go. You're going to be like Chapel Roan and have a H-O-T. I don't even know. I'm like, this is really bad.
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Something like that. Yeah, yeah. You're going to have to come up with your little dance. A dance? Yeah, it's like Y-M-C-A, but like F-K-S-N-E-N-N.
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My best friend and I are both 27, and I've been close friends since middle school. Over the years, we've never had a major fight. Our friendship has always felt solid. I've had four kids so far, and she recently got pregnant with her first, finally, which I was so excited for. But recently, something really hurt me. She posted a video on social media showing how she found out her baby's gender.
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And in that video, she FaceTimed friends and family to share the news and get their reactions. That's how I found out. Through a video. I wasn't one of the people she personally told. It really stung, especially since I thought I'd be one of the first to know. When I told her how I felt, she texted me, quote, dude, I'm so sorry. You aren't the only one I forgot to call.
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And then later, I'm sorry you're upset, but today is an exciting day for me. So I'll talk to you when you're ready. I haven't responded because I don't know what to say. This isn't the first time I've felt left out with her. She once moved in with another friend, even though I had already expressed interest in being roommates.
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She always goes on trips and events with this friend, but never invites me. I feel like I have no right to be upset because overall, she's been a really good friend. She's kind, we get along great, and she's been helpful with my kids when I've needed support. I want to be there for her during her pregnancy, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm not as important to her as she is to me.
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Number one. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over three years. We live in and I was raised in a Western left-leaning country and I hold many left-leaning views. My boyfriend was a refugee from a Middle Eastern predominantly Muslim country. However, he is Christian. Because he came to this country in the last five or so years, he is not as open-minded as me. However, we do align morally.
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I also feel overshadowed because she always has a boyfriend, one after another, and I sometimes wonder if our friendship just isn't a priority for her. Am I overreacting? How do I move forward without feeling so hurt? Thank you so much for any advice. Ideal outcome to be on the same page and see things from both points of view.
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You know, maybe she spaced it out. Maybe she couldn't get a hold of you. Maybe, maybe, maybe all these reasons. But I think you're right. Like, it's totally okay and your feelings are so valid to feel like you care about the friendship more than her. That happens. We all go through moments where we feel like that or...
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hey you found out like you're the least favorite friend you're the last one to get the invite the last one to get called and like that hurts and maybe maybe you're not as close as you think or maybe not as close as you'd hope like you know you've got four kids and maybe that's been your priority and so she has moved in with these other friends and has gone on trips with these other friends because she maybe assumes and doesn't even ask because you have four kids at home and
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We're just at different places in life. And I know you kind of include little comments here, like, she's finally having her first one. Finally. And you had another comment here, I also feel overshadowed because she always has a boyfriend. One after another. You guys are only 27. Like, she can date and have boyfriend after boyfriend and...
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I just there feels like there's some other feelings that you're writing in between the lines and you're not really saying. And I'm not I'm not sure what that is. Maybe you can self reflect on what that could be. But I do think this is a really exciting, big announcement. And it wasn't about you.
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Does it hurt to find out something through social media when you look at someone as your close best friend or, you know, lifelong friend? Yeah. But the appropriate response at that time would have been, oh, my God, congratulations. So excited for you. Let's catch up and grab lunch. I'd love to hear about your scan or how you found out and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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For example, on gender equality, LGBTQ plus rights, etc. One tradition or norm that comes from his culture is that couples are not allowed to live together until marriage. This means my boyfriend will not live with me until we are married. I have come to be okay with this, and we are planning to get engaged soon, this year.
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Like use that as your entryway in to connect. Yeah. But don't. Well, why didn't you tell me?
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It sours such a special moment. And we went through something like this recently with someone else. And we were like, we just want to give it time before we like say anything, because we don't want to shadow that like really exciting, fun time. And there is like nothing wrong with telling a friend how you're feeling or confronting issues you had, but there has to be some tact with it.
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You can't, this could have been in last week's episode or two weeks ago, you can't pop the clutch. So, you know, just take it easy. Let's hear it.
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Yeah. likely right and you can still have a life outside of your kids that's not what any of us are trying to imply just to be crystal clear but if lauren had four kids and i had no kids we would just be at very different places in life that's that's just a reality
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Recently, however, he is bringing up his desire to live with his parents in their house for the first one to two years of marriage to save for money for a house. He said his mom will cook, clean, grocery shop, and do everything for us. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.
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Interesting takes, Jerry. Yeah. You have thoughts over there.
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Drop them. Oh my gosh. We just talked about this.
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I completely agree. I think that's so important because you can have expectations from friends in some regard, right? But I think just because I expect my friend to check in with me once a day, just because your friend isn't doing that doesn't mean they don't love you or care about you. You both are, you're hitting points. You're definitely hitting points. I feel it. But I will say...
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she did apologize. Not once, but twice. Dude, I'm so sorry. You aren't the only one I forgot to call. Which, hey, when I got engaged, I probably still have unopened messages from people congratulating me that saw it on social media. And I'm really bad about my phone. I haven't even responded. I didn't FaceTime every single person being like, I'm engaged.
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You were there, luckily. I I was just trying to be in the moment. But I think sometimes life like that can happen. But even after she did say then, I'm sorry you're upset. But today is an exciting day for me. So I'll talk to you when you're ready. Two apologies. And then just being like, hey, ball's in your court. Like, let me know when you want to talk more about this. But she's right.
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I have no issue with his family and we get along well. However, I do not want to do this for a couple of reasons. I do not speak the same language as his family and therefore would not be able to engage in conversations frequently going on in the home, which would frustrate me as a member of the household. Mm-hmm.
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It was a really exciting day for her. So I think, listen, all we said, put it together in some way it makes sense for you. And then look in the comments because maybe we're wrong. Maybe we're reading this and we're looking at it through a lens that like is so far off. And maybe the comments are going to come in and be like, no, fuck her. Like, bad friend. You're justified. And
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Your feelings are definitely valid, but I think everyone involved can have a little bit more grace with each other.
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Maybe I'm scarred from Reddit, but I don't know. A lot of people don't get apologies at all. So I would say this isn't a friendship you want to lose.
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I would have preferred to find out through social media. Yeah, honestly, I probably would believe it then. Like if it's on social media and there's pictures, then it's probably real.
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Yeah, you've been really pulling my leg all day today. The amount of times he's like said very serious things to me today and then waited. And I'm like, I'm sitting there thinking about it. I'm like, wow, this is really fucked up. And then all of a sudden he'll be like April fools. And I'm like, I don't like this. I have to get somebody. You haven't got anyone?
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I haven't seen anything, honestly, online. No celebrities have dropped a new skincare line or announced something.
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Number six. Here we are. Last but not least.
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Lauren and I are about to record a work episode after this for Too Hot Takes, so I've got a work one to kind of warm us up for our episode.
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Hi, FKS family. I'm a big fan and I love listening to your podcast and listen to Two Hot Takes. So here's my query. Am I wrong for being upset that on my last day of work before I went on maternity leave, they didn't organize anything? This is the job that I've worked at for six years and multiple people who I considered friends didn't organize even a card on my last day of work.
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Am I just being hormonal, or am I allowed to be upset over not getting acknowledged by these people? I've spent six years, five days a week, 40-ish weeks a year with them. They organize cards and money collections for less, like somebody leaving who isn't coming back, or someone's birthday note. I've actually never gotten a card for my birthday, and I never take it off, so I'm always at work.
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Ideal outcome, I just want an outside opinion."
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I'm sorry. My feelings would be hurt if I didn't get at least a little congratulations and like enjoy your little one and maternity leave card. Like, Six years? Call me a sore, sensitive little nugget, but I would be hurt if my coworkers didn't do a little something.
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I don't think she expected anything until the last day.
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Right. So maybe they're organizing something for when she comes back, like after she actually has the baby. That's a good thought.
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I mean, we have I'm not sure either. Like when I when I worked my OT job at UCLA, we would do a potluck before everyone would leave on maternity leave. And we had like, I feel like the whole department was pregnant. It was actually like one after another. But we would do like a big potluck and then people would bring in gifts for that person. Yeah.
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Another reason I would like to not live with his family is because I don't think I would feel comfortable. There are a few views that they hold surrounding how I would dress as a non-blood relation around the house, such as not wearing a bra, and that would cause them to get upset at me. And wearing a bra in my own house is not something I always want to be doing, to be completely honest.
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As like a congratulations, like here's diapers, gift card, bottles, whatever. Okay. But like... I mean, that was a rehab department. We were, like, really intertwined, working close together. We knew a lot about people's personal lives. So maybe it's just the job. Maybe, like, not every job would do that.
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Yeah. I don't think it's inherently wrong to have expectations of people, friends, partners, you know, an expectation for me and Justin. I expect Justin not to cheat on me. If I said I don't have any expectations, like that sounds like it's to me, I hear that. And I'm like, that sounds like it's coming from a place where you've been let down, you've been hurt and you're not healed.
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That's like when, when you say that, that's where I'm at, because it's like, that sounds like almost like a trauma answer. It's like, I don't have expectations of anyone because people have let me down so much. And I think you can have expectations of people. Like life is kind of this give and this take, like
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we all like step up in times of need for people we love and they step up in times of need for us. And I think as a general rule of thumb, like everyone wants to be treated with kindness. Everyone wants to be recognized. So I think it's normal to be hurt in this situation. And I Googled, I'm like, I Googled, is gifting a coworker a card for maternity leave normal?
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Additionally, I feel as though he is hesitant to leave his family and to look towards the future. Many decisions he has been making are with his family rather than me. For example, he is buying a house soon for his family with his brothers.
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And Google, yes, it's generally considered normal and thoughtful to give a coworker a card or a small gift and card for their maternity leave. So I was kind of curious. You gave me a thought when something you said, and I'm kind of curious if like the person who organized all of your other office stuff, like whether it's the leaving thing or a note for a birthday, are they still there?
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Like, is there one person that's always spearheading this organization stuff? And if so, are they gone? And maybe that's why it didn't happen for you. Right.
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Yeah, we're going to all interpret it. Everyone differently.
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The coworkers do have a culture of getting gifts and stuff for people because there's been multiple times everyone gets a card on their birthday and people get gift pots when they're leaving the company. So it is a part of the culture.
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Ideal outcome, approach my boyfriend in a nice and gentle way about not living with his family once we are married and understand more clearly what he wants in the future. Additional info, we have bought an engagement ring. However, he has traditions that he needs to follow first before officially proposing. But this is how I know it is coming so soon.
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Yeah, and I think for this one, at least for me and the whole do not pass go, like don't think about it. You are, again, valid for your feelings and it does kind of sting, but you're about to have a little baby and like this is a job. That's it. And, you know, jobs come and go. Family, little ones don't. So just enjoy and don't think about this another second because...
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Not every work situation environment is healthy. Some of them can be quite toxic and we're about to go over to two hot takes and read about a few.
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And it is crazy. We spend, what, half of our lives at work?
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If you are finding that this workplace doesn't really serve you, leave. This is a thing. And maybe it's because I found so many work stories today. And I'm mad for these people. But I saw one story. This person had been at the company for 20 years. And she's sick and has cancer. And they won't
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like give her a paid leave to like do some chemo oh my god and it's like you've spent 20 years of your life at this company so and they literally are basically being like yeah well sorry you're dying keep coming to work it's like oh like these companies a lot of them at the end of the day especially big ones like they look at you as a number sadly and so like prioritize your mental health and well-being like maybe a new job is best
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Yeah, absolutely. Justin's mom just left her like one of her jobs and she was there. I think she was there for like 15 years. And on her last day, they didn't even get her a card.
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I think you could be on to something that maybe in their eyes, they do it after the baby's born and when you come back or something.
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If you've got a group work text thing, send it, email it. Yeah. But that's all I got for you guys on this theme of Father Knows Something.
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Hey, it is a community effort. It's not just on us sitting here on these couches.
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You know, sometimes we do, but I don't think you did. I think you're good. Yeah. It's about the community. So if you guys can comment your thoughts or any advice that you have for these listeners, please go to the YouTube and comment away so they can see it. But other than that, we've got amazing Patreon content up.
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No, and here's my thing. If he's okay with his mom doing that, you know, there's no mention of ages here, but I'm going to assume mid-20s at least, you know, 20s. If he's okay with his mom cooking, cleaning, shopping, taking care of him still as a grown adult, what is he going to expect you to do when you do move into your own place? Are you going to be the homemaker?
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And he says, oh, that's a woman's job. I wouldn't be okay, even if I moved home, letting my mom do everything. And hey, I understand different cultures, right? And that's totally fine. But it's not what you want. You want to do life's mundane tasks with him. And it doesn't seem like you're really aligning on that.
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Yeah. And I mean, I don't know if they are. I think there's clearly some cultural differences and maybe in terms of, you know, living with your family and that's okay. There are a lot of cultures where the oldest son has his parents live with him and his new wife. And that is the culture.
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It has been an eventful day. I'm ready for a nap.
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He is buying a house soon for his family and he wants to then they get married and they move into that house, I would assume. I don't see a future where you get out and leave that house. Is he going to be able to buy a second house? Houses are expensive and, you know, says going in on it with his brothers. But realistically, is he going to be able to afford another house in a couple of years?
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Yeah, well, it could have hit you wrong like me.
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I know. And that is totally fine. Everyone is entitled to live the life they want to live. And if that's what he wants to do with his family, that is so, so fine and dandy.
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And that's where we're at. I would not want to feel like I'm a guest in my own house. If I can't walk around my house without a bra on, we're going to have a problem. And I think...
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as nice as it might be to not have to cook every meal for yourself and live with his family for a little bit to maybe get to know them better and learn the language, I do think it's going to create a very tense environment.
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And if someone told me I have to wear formal clothes in my house at all times and not be comfortable and I can't lounge and there's a potential that people are going to talk shit about me right in front of my face, I just think it's opening the door for a lot of issues to potentially arise. And it's not the life she wants.
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I wouldn't be able to. I wouldn't be able to marry someone without living with them first. I think people really, really change when you live with them.
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For sure. And, you know, they have known each other for over... three years, which is great. Like that's a really good amount of time. But I think living together, especially with someone who's saying, oh, my mom can do all this. It's all cool. Like I would have some alarm bells ringing and I think you're right.
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I think you have to ask yourself if you're preparing for the worst, which is living with his family, not being comfortable in your home and maybe living with them for 10 years. Like what's the timeline? Okay. Okay. It's pretty clear he plans on living with them for a decent amount of time. People, I mean, I don't know, maybe they've got a lot of money.
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Oh, my God. You shouldn't take more than like two to start with you. You're susceptible.
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Maybe they've got a lot of money and they can do this and buy multiple houses, but for the average bear, you're lucky if you can buy one house. So... Don't evaluate off potential.
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Absolutely. And let's move on to number... Number two, but keep us posted.
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Yeah. Lauren and I are recording after this. So she was sitting over there and I'm like, come on in. You just walked in the door. Come on in. We're only on story number two. So your first time on... I was going to say, I don't think I've been here before. No. And I'm going to start letting you host an episode or two coming up because... you got to give some good takes to the people.
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And I think you'll, I think you'll be good on this one. Our theme is do not pass go. Okay. So it's like, I don't know what it means yet. I don't know.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Number two. My mom took a credit card out in my name for the second time. How do I continue a relationship with her? I reported to the credit card company that I didn't open it. potentially she might go to jail. How do I create boundaries with her? I am sorry that this doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm very emotional and feel like I lost my mom.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Ideal outcome, I still have some relationship with her, but with boundaries.
Father Knows Something
167: Father Knows: Where's the Bar?!
And that's important for you. That's what I wanted. My next question, where are we going to go with the bar kids?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
Hey, Money Rehabbers. It's Morgan, the producer of the show. And today is the last day of Peter Tuchman's week of guest hosting Money Rehab. Peter Tuchman is a broker on the New York Stock Exchange. He is also a host of one of Eminem's podcasts called Trade Like Einstein. He's a really sharp thinker.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
thinker in this space and he also has more energy than anyone i've ever met so if you don't subscribe to his show please check it out he's really wonderful in today's episode peter starts by doing what he's done every day this week which is giving a breakdown of what happened in the financial markets today he has a really special point of view because he is there in the heart of it on the floor of the new york stock exchange
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
So he explains what's moving and shaking in the market today and why he thinks a Santa Claus rally is about to happen, which is a typical sort of upswing in the market that we see around this time of year historically.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
And then in the second part of his conversation, instead of hearing one of his favorite interviews from the year, you're actually going to hear an interview that he taped today with Dan Ives. Dan is a managing director and senior equity research analyst at Wedbush. And he is one of the most sought after analysts and specialists on tech. He really has his finger on the pulse in this space.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
I pay very close attention when he talks. And Peter and Dan just have a really fun dynamic. They tape together a lot for Peter's show. So if you love that, definitely subscribe. And then next week, I will be guest hosting the show. I'm really excited. I'll tell you more about that on Monday. But for now, here's Peter.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Next week, you're going to hear Nicole's favorite episodes of Help Wanted, the podcast that she co-hosts with Jason Pfeiffer, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
All right, this next one, I'm gonna start with you, Nicole, because I know this is a topic, Nicole, that you are very passionate about, which is small talk. On Zoom, it's particularly terrible. There's always those first couple of minutes in a Zoom meeting where there's like fumbly small talk where someone asks like, where in the world are you based? Or how's the weather where you are?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So say you're on a Zoom call that has five attendees. You're waiting for the last two people. You sit in silence.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Help Wanted is like Money Rehab, but instead of answering all of your burning questions on money and personal finance, Help Wanted answers all of your burning questions on career and business, starting a company, excelling in a company, and everything in between. And so to close my week and start the next, I wanted to share an episode of Help Wanted that I was on. Enjoy and see you soon.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I'm sorry.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I did the exact cliche thing that I was like, so are you, do you guys live in New York? And they were like, nope, just outside of it in Jersey. And I was like, ah, okay.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So I actually that's a pet peeve of mine when people do that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
It's not about where you're looking on the thing. It's about how you're behaving in the thing. And so if you're like adjusting your hair, I'm like, I know that wherever you're looking, that's where your video is. It's not a pet peeve when you do it because nothing that you could do could ever bother me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
But when I'm on like, when I'm on a bigger meeting and I just, I see people do it, it is a pet peeve of mine.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I'd say 25%.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Nicole has her, her video pinned and ours aren't even visible. Wait, Morgan.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Okay, shrimping is the word for when somebody joins a Zoom interview like this.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Everybody has seen that. And I think that the question is, how much does your composition on Zoom really matter and make an impact on people? Like, do people really care? And does it actually make a difference? Nicole says yes.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
The crazy thing about all of these questions is that they wouldn't have even been questions four years ago. And so the new normal, the way that we work is changing so much with technology and in a post-pandemic world. And so as listeners have questions about new work etiquette that they want to ask, DM Nicole or Jason on Instagram. You can follow them. Just maybe don't follow your boss.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Hello. Nicole and Jason. Jason and Nicole.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Perfect. Happy to be here. Well, let's just start out by saying, you guys, it's 2024. It is a new era for a whole lot of things in our life. There's AI. There's People are wearing baggy pants now like it's the 90s.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Yes. Yeah. There's a whole lot of newness going on and that has also translated into the workplace. And so today what I'm going to do with both of you is take you through some workplace etiquette that people have some questions about. And I'd like for you both to weigh in and share what your thoughts are around these etiquette questions. Are you ready to rock?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Exactly. Great. All right. Here's the first question for you both. Should you follow your boss on Instagram?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Let me paint this scenario. Your boss has a private Instagram account.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
He or she has not followed you. Should you hit that follow button?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So if you do follow your boss on Instagram, don't block them.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Excellent. Okay, now as bosses, say one of your employees has a public Instagram and has not followed you. Do you follow... this employee on their public Instagram account.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
All right, moving on to Zoom, everybody's new office. Got a lot of etiquette questions about Zoom.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
First, can you eat during a Zoom meeting? Say it's in all hands.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Huh. I guess if we've never noticed it, Nicole, maybe it's not that big of a deal.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
When is it appropriate to come to a Zoom meeting with your camera turned off?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
What?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
That is so surprising to me and the complete opposite of what I thought you were going to say because, okay, so imagine a scenario in which you have somebody on your team who has kind of been slacking. Everybody's working remote. You have
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
your suspicions that they don't work at all they are actually a very prominent member of a bowling league and they're bowling professionally and not doing their work if they come to a meeting with their camera turned off are you thinking that they're distracted they're not focused they're not actually engaged
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Hey, money rehabbers. It's Morgan, who's been filling in for Nicole this week while Nicole is out on mat leave. And it has been so much fun guest hosting. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And maybe I'll see you again soon. Next week, the guest host is going to be Nicole, kind of.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Wow.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Safety first. Okay, next. Is it annoying to type during a Zoom call and therefore should you not do it? If you have to take notes for a Zoom call, should you instead record the meeting or take notes in a notebook so that you're not clackety clacking?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Can you talk a little bit more about those and what might that actually look like or mean in a work environment?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's Nutrafol.com. Promo code MONEYREHAB. And now for some more money rehab. you have clearly been thinking about this a lot because you came up with seven languages for it. Is it because you have had in your own workplace life or your own career, a breakdown of trust? And you can be totally general here.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I'm not trying to out anyone, but is this something, is this an experience that you've had yourself? And what did that look like as much as you feel comfortable sharing?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah, and I can even just tell you from my own experience that Those conversations really can be so impactful beyond the two people who are having the conversation. Like, for example, I was at a podcast company before this one where we were going through the process of unionizing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And it was the first time in sort of those early meetings where it was just the employees who was kind of talking about what they need from leadership and things like that, that I had ever had a conversation with. about salary transparency with my coworkers.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And I found out that there was somebody on the team that I was on who had the same job title as me and had been working there longer, but I was getting paid almost double what she was getting paid. And it... made me feel sick. It made me feel terrible. And she had shared her salary first and it made me not want to say anything because I was like, I feel like the bad guy.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I have so much privilege that I didn't even realize that I had. But I just I thought like this is the moment where I need to be transparent because I think it will help her negotiate for a better deal for herself. And I told her how it made me feel. I was like, I feel guilty that I'm making this much more than you. And she was like, don't because I don't want you to make less.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I just want to make more. And it was such a useful conversation for everybody on our team because it made everyone feel more comfortable being transparent about how much we were getting paid. And it made us all all just ask for the same thing and be on the same page from leadership. And so it was a conversation that we had that just had such a bigger impact beyond just the two of us.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I can say that I, I certainly know that this is really, these things are really important. Building trust is so important. You mentioned broken trust and I, You in your book talk about rebuilding trust. And so I think I already know your answer, but is it really possible to rebuild trust once some of it has been lost?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Hey, it's Morgan, the executive producer of the show. And I am so excited to share that the guest host of Money Rehab this week is Minda Hartz. Minda is a best-selling and award-winning author, workplace advocate, and thought leader in self-advocacy and trust restoration. Minda's a big deal.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah. A hundred, a hundred percent. And I think it's so helpful that you break down for people specifically what is helpful in a scenario where there's been broken trust, because let's just put it all out there. It's really hard to rebuild trust. Like it is so much easier to break trust than it is to rebuild it. And I have been thinking about this a lot, just in us,
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Talking about this and just me sort of absorbing these thoughts about trust and hearing you talk about it so much, it reminded me of a conversation that a friend had with me. She was in marriage counseling with her husband, and they were talking about one particular lie that he told. And he was like, I don't see what the big deal is. I only lied to you about this once.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And their therapist was like, but when you lie, you don't take away one truth. You take away all of them. Yeah, which I always think about. And it really sort of brought home for me the truth of the matter, which is that it is a lot easier to break trust than it is to rebuild it.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I think it's really helpful that you give people these scripts of what to say and how to take accountability because that's such an important part of the process. And it's helpful, too, because I think people think of trust as like a...
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
maybe a fuzzy soft type of skill, but you make the case in your book that not only is it critical for a business's bottom line, but you also give us a way to think about trust more concretely, like in the seven languages, but you also lay out a trust equation. Can you explain what that equation is?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Minda was named LinkedIn's number one top voice in the workplace in 2020 and one of Business Insider's top 100 people transforming business in 2022. Her books, like The Memo, Right Within, and You Are More Than Magic, have empowered countless professionals to advocate for themselves and create lasting change in their careers. But let me tell you about her next book.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I love how, let me see if I can get it right about what you just said. Admitting that you have made a mistake or like admitting that you are a part of a process that is eroding trust or you are playing a role in the erosion of trust in the workplace feels like such a negative thing. And it potentially is.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
But the fact that you say like, can you flex your emotional intelligence to admit that you're, like, it just makes me feel more mature. Yeah. If I'm able to do that. And so I just really appreciate how you're helping people think about this. And you spoke about the election as sort of a recent example of how trust might be eroded in the workplace because you need the sensitivity.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
This was a kind of polarizing event for a lot of people potentially. Can you... talk about any other historical or public failure of trust and use the trust equation to explain what went wrong?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Her next book, Talk to Me Nice, The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace, is all about that. Strategies to make your work life better through building trust in your teams. And if you're thinking, I don't really feel like trust is that big of a deal at work. Well, Minda is going to tell you today that not only does trust help teams feel better, but they also operate better.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
It was very helpful and such a great example. So I have a two-part question for you. If a listener is... hearing you speak and realizing now that they have a trust issue in their workplace. And it's happening because of someone that's senior to them. It's sort of happening top down. What should they or can they do?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That feels like something I could say, like that feels like something that wouldn't be so uncomfortable or accusatory. And I I think I can see a world in which someone is listening and is going through this and is thinking, I just wish that my boss was a better leader so that I didn't have to ask.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Or I wish that my boss was better at these seven languages so that it isn't something that I would have to ask for and I would have stepped into an environment where there's already trust.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I understand how in some ways that could feel disappointing that it's something that you have to ask for, but I can also see how it can be empowering and also just sort of like save you from becoming that statistic of somebody who leaves without having a conversation because it might not be intentional.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Like the erosion of trust might not be intentional because they maybe have their own, like they need their own languages. Like in the love languages, right? not the trust languages, but the love languages, I think that there's been like a really healthy conversation or trend of having this healthy conversation in couples or being like, my love language is touch or my love language is quality time.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And as a result, you can see the effects of trust on a business's bottom line, so we really should all be taking this seriously. And if you're thinking to yourself, I don't think I have trust issues at work, well, you should still listen to this week of episodes because Minda will give you a whole new way to think about trust that will make the trust that you have even stronger.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And people share that theirs might not be the same, but they can at least give their partner what they need. And so I think normalizing that in the workplace about what you need from your boss is a really healthy, helpful thing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah, yeah. And that leads me perfectly to I said, this was a two part question. My second part of this is for those either aspiring leaders or people who are already in positions of leadership at their work, if they are realizing that they're the problem. Or that they're the boss and therefore have an increased level of responsibility of the tone and culture of the office.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And they recognize that there is a lack of trust or there seems to be some of these symptoms that the diagnosis is eroding trust. What should they do?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Plus, this week she talks to some pretty fascinating people. From leadership expert Simon Sinek, who has made trust cool, as evidenced by his 3.9 million followers on Instagram. And Carl Lentz, who was the lead pastor of the church Hillsong, where he was a spiritual advisor to many, including celebrities like Justin Bieber, among others.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I am so excited about trust now. Just hearing you talk about it has made me really hype for this deep dive that you're going to be doing while you're guest hosting money rehab this week. And this week you are going to focus on four of the trust languages with some really interesting guests. Can you give listeners a little sneak peek about what they'll hear? Sure.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
But today, before we get into all of those conversations, I wanted you to get to know Minda. So I interviewed her, all about her research on trust and why we should care. Oh, and you'll hear in the interview, she says that she's not sure if she can reveal who she's interviewing this week. And obviously I just gave some of those people away, but I just had to give you a sneak peek.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And you know what? Enough with the previews. Let's just dive in. Here's my conversation with Minda. Minda Hartz, welcome to Money Rehab. Hey, Morgan. Happy to be here. So happy to be talking to you. You are an author, a speaker, an educator, but take us all back to the days before you built your big career. Let's go back to when you were little. What did you want to be when you grew up?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I did not know any of this about you. So what did you do next? What was your first job out of college?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Wow. Yeah. I also started my first job out of college was also as an executive assistant. And so I can definitely sympathize with probably what you saw there. So can you bridge the gap between that time and when you wrote your first book, The Memo, which was and is such a sensation?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
So I'd love to hear kind of what you were doing leading up to that, but also would love to hear you talk about the book and where the mission of the book came from.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
What was it like for you? Because I was going to ask you and then you sort of naturally talked about it. Like the... Observing and witnessing toxic workplace culture and being the only, like you said, I can imagine how isolating that must have felt. And so before you wrote the blog, was there any sort of like moment where you were?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
talking to a friend or somebody that you met through networking, like a peer, where you had a moment where you thought, oh, it's not just me. I'm not the only period. I'm the only at my company, but every company has their only. And so there needs to be resources for people going through this experience or like best practices because...
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
the memo is full of of like practical information and resources that people can use when they are in that situation where they're the only specifically women of color
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's so amazing. And I am so in awe of people like you who kind of have that revelation wherever it is in therapy or with a friend or reading somebody else's blog. And they sort of look at how they can go beyond their own experience. I think a lot of people would be like, Amazing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
So glad I worked that out in therapy, but that you turned around and thought about the other people who maybe hadn't had that aha moment and how to trigger that for them. And I just, I think that's really amazing. And you didn't stop there. You have continued to think about workplace environments that can be improved, that have room for improvement.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And your next book, which is out later this year, is called Talk To Me Nice, The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace. And it gives actionable strategies for restoring trust in the workplace. And so why was this the next topic that you want to trade about? I know you've written other books in the time between, but why is this the topic for your upcoming book?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And we're going to talk about those languages in just a second. But first, I want to think about those people who you were talking to at these conferences and how you connected the dots and found trust as the common denominator between all of these stories.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Because I think that some people listening who are in a work environment and they know that something's not quite right, but they can't quite place it. They might not see that the symptoms that they're experiencing are the root cause is a trust problem. And so can you talk a little bit about what it might look like in a workplace environment if there's a lack of trust? What are those symptoms?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
What might people experience?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's so useful. And you just gave two of the seven trust languages that you've identified, transparency and feedback. What are the other five? What are all seven?
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
I'm great. Hi, Dave. Hey. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? Yes, sir. So I'm kind of in this situation, my husband and I. We have been married almost three years in February, and we have our finances separate. Um, I have three children and he has one daughter who's in college.
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
Um, and so we're just trying to figure out how to go about, uh, combining the finances, um, with the salary I make and his salary and what we owe and expenses in that nature. What steps do you advise us? Where do we begin?
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
Oh gosh, mine was in 15. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
He was, I believe, 18, 2018.
The Ramsey Show
To Change Your Results You Have To Change Your Behavior
How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.
The Ramsey Show
To Change Your Results You Have To Change Your Behavior
How is this, how is this burden?
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Hi, Rachel. Hi, George. Thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Well, I'd like some guidance today on how to navigate my brother-in-law with tragedy. Excuse me if I get emotional. On January 14th, my sister-in-law passed away unexpectedly.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
That was two weeks ago. She's 38, and they have three children, and it's been pretty tough. I'm so sorry.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
As good as they can do for right now. They have three children, 15, 5, and 2. The 15-year-old is from a previous relationship, so I think financially her father is able to provide a lot, but to be honest, they weren't prepared. I mean, nobody is, but... He's kind of in a financial mess.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
So I have a few numbers. I don't have all the details because it's still very fresh, but I've gathered a few things. Um, to my knowledge, they don't have very, I don't think they have any savings.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Um, bought their house two years ago for 170,000. I believe their mortgage is $1,400 a month. Okay. I think he makes, they both worked for a trucking company. I think he's in like the 70 to 80 range. And I believe she was about 60 to 70. So he's losing half of her income. And also she was getting $1,700 a month in veteran benefits. And they did not pay for the survivor benefits.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Did she have any life insurance on her? I think she had a small policy through her work, maybe $20,000. No will. Um, they have 15,000 in credit card debt, two cars. One has a small loan. I believe it's her car and she may have a small 401k.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
It's me wondering because my wife and I have been following the day of steps for years. So we're on four, five, and six. So my brain automatically went to write up the baby steps. I was just trying to gather everything I have. So that is kind of a high-level overview. So I don't know if he should take her life insurance and just try to walk up the baby steps.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
I don't know if credit cards that are only in her name. If I should tell him to stop paying because autopsy results are pending. And so we may not get the death certificate for about two months. So I don't know if he can do much of anything until we get a death certificate.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
And that's why I haven't asked these questions yet. This is just kind of what I've gathered because. this is, I mean, this is so heavy. It's just pure grief.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
It's just tough all around. Oh, oh. That's kind of where he's starting. Like he said, you know, I'm going to Verizon today to get my name on all the accounts.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Like if her name's on the mortgage, they can, I mean, technically they can come after those things.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
May I address your listeners for just one minute?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's a it's a fun word to say midwifery. Yeah. That's why I did it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. But so we learned a lot about pregnancy for someone who doesn't want kids. Like I am extremely interested and cannot stop talking about like my vagina because I think it's a complex creature. I don't think we talk about it enough. No, we don't. Just like so much is going on. And like, I feel like I'm coming from a scientific standpoint. So it's like more educational.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But anyways, as a woman, we are meant to have babies. I don't know what this girl's doing, losing her teeth. She needs to go to the dentist. No, like the baby needs so much calcium. And if you don't have enough, it just takes it from your teeth. What about a calcium supplement? Some people don't do it until it's too late and the teeth are just gone.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Okay, I do think this is like, yes, an abnormal case, but I'm the opposite. I want to be pregnant, but I don't want to raise it. I'm looking for a surrogate. No joke.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I fuck with Kegels. That's a part of it. Yeah. I want to do a dumbbell.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Will they not even forgive me but understand, like, I'm not PC? You know? So, like, don't come here. Come here if you want to be offended. But don't come here, like, looking for, you know, good takes. They're all terrible.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I know it's trite and it's like, but like Cardi B, I feel like is wise in some ways. And I don't know. It just really rings true. It's like if you hate me so much and you're going to talk about me, like, why are you thinking about me so much?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, I hear you can put a dumbbell on the end of it. What? I'm thinking a five pounder, like one of those ones you get on Amazon that has that like weird material around it that you can like use at home.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
See? Just so everyone knows. i don't have like actually any pelvic floor issues it's like totally fine if you're wondering robbie has nothing but good things to say so like a plus report cards people yes this is just like purely curiosity totally i just like like the idea of it
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I don't know if it's appropriate for online. We'll reconvene. No, yeah, you can bleep. Yeah, that's my problem is I don't know what is appropriate for YouTube. I'm like, I'm not even monetized, so I can't get demonetized. But I'm definitely on that route because I'm screaming things, I guess, that I shouldn't be screaming.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, yeah. Let's get her monetized, people. Actually, please do the Lord's work. I was a nurse for eight years living paycheck to paycheck. Oh, my God. Like, yeah, give me a break.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Like, all of them. Yeah. Yeah. The first thing when I first made the cheer squad and we have to like go over our contracts and documentation, literally the first clause was like, we are Denver Broncos cheerleaders LLC. So immediately they're setting the tone that you are not a part of the NFL. Yeah. We'd do it again and again and again. I love my tits and my chin. Like that is so empowering.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Um, and shout out to the Victoria's secret bombshell bra. Hey, there we go. Literally. We kept them in business, but yeah, no, we don't get paid anything. I think, I think as a cheerleader and as a nurse, um, I was making around $40,000 a year, 40 to 45. Um,
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
No. And the people I hate the most or like not hate but want to talk shit about like I am incredibly jealous.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm just so flabbergasted. No, this is what I want to hear. I know they're going to be like, whatever. She shouldn't be doing that. Like, so lame. Honestly...
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Literally as it should. Cause it's like, I love when people comment like that on Reddit because immediately they're like, this is so throwaway. Nobody gives a fuck.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Totally. Because... That'd be bad. Right. Because then he should already... One, he should address it and he should already be like understanding that and... And to I don't know, I'm I'm obviously full of shit and speaking from a place of I don't know, but it's like, who cares? Just pay her. But that I understand that it would make him feel like, yeah, like it's more procedural. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Can relate as a nurse. Yeah. So you start young and nobody takes you seriously, especially doctors. And it's like, well, what did you hire me for?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
make you feel pity i don't i don't know if i feel yeah i'm just like i feel so bad you totally because this is coming from a bad place yeah like you're just such a bad person yeah and i know how bad of a person you are and other people don't when they like you oh no i like having that insight too like i like being on the right side history i'm so i told you so I will never keep it in.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Then you could be a victim, and people love victims. So, like, don't worry. Okay, well, there's the good and the evil. Yes. There you go. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I need to go back. So she must have learned something along the way through working with her family's corporation that's, like, making her extra vigilant. What is this corporation? The CIA? Yeah, exactly. Right.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
yeah well it could be yeah what is this spy that's what it's giving like what is going on and then i understand like nobody takes her seriously but i don't think that lends itself to blackmail but maybe she's just been like so fucked in the past that she's ready to fuck someone over but like i don't do you watch real housewives of new york
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's Eclipse. Yes. So Dorinda has this amazing saying that she's like, say it, forget it, write it, regret it. It's like things in print. I know it's so good. Because if you like say something kind of like fucked up, like people will like, it's like, whatever, it'll blow over. Yeah. You have more context. It's not that like, you know, it's easier kind of just to forgive. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And maybe understand everybody does it differently. But if you write it, that's like it's in stone. Yes. And that's what she has on her computer. So it's like, why can't you just keep it in your head? Can't you just make mental folders in your head and like talk shit when you need like her paranoia that she has to have like folders on the computer? I would be afraid. I would be terrified. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
You got to get out. And how is how? Yes. Before you get out, you have to delete your folder.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
In a bad way. But, like, she's good at what she's doing. And so nerdy. So nosy and so curious. It's like, who has the energy? I just cannot find the energy literally for anything else besides, like, getting up in the morning and coming here. Oh, thank God you came here. Yeah. I just cannot be bothered. No, I get that.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
All the time. Every time. Yeah. It's always fine when you go. You're like, oh, my God, I love my friends. I love my community. Yes. But before it's hard. Pulling teeth to get there. Literally. But it's like, yeah, how does he get out?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, I think you blackmail the blackmailer. I think you mental gymnastics, backflip, full twist, your way out of the relationship, get a file on her. Yes. Get the blackmail.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yes. Like I'm going to go. Yeah. Yeah. And if you if you blackmail me, I have stuff on you. If you try anything like you just really can't because he he honestly has the power.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
That's evil. I think that would be option B to get out, though. Yeah, that's actually diabolical. How would he weaponize and— Oh, like— Yes, but then she would just blackmail him. She would, like, get receipts and be like, he's doing this stuff on purpose. She would twist it. And this is the problem. As much as I'm a raging misandrist— Also, there's like it just like it takes one.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Sometimes there's like one woman who fucks it up. It's like Elizabeth Holmes. You really got to ruin it for us. And she's like on that path. So it's like, come on, girl. Yeah. I think maybe like a fade out. I was thinking like a cheating scandal. And he could get ahead of it. Yeah. But then I think it would really set her off. So it's like not safe.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's kind of like whatever going into a lion's den. Yeah. That's possible. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm concerned for him. Yeah, same. For his safety. You think he's going to get murdered. I do. I'm like, you never know. Too bad Reddit's anonymous. We could like put him in. Maybe he should go in a witness protection program. He should look into WITSAC, honestly.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. I kind of disagree. I absolutely disagree that she should delete the file because what's she going to do? Get mad at him for blackmailing him? I don't think that's going to happen. And I don't know. I'm like, does he blow it up and confront her? Get the receipts? I do think he should blackmail the blackmailer. I think he should set up hidden cameras somewhere. I capture the folder.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, because there's reason to. And then go first get a restraining order. She's going to do some crazy shit. Get the get the I think we need to get the law involved. Take her to court and then take her down. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
You should have won. Yeah, it was a national upset. People just like... God. Yeah, they just like... These things blow over.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
,,,,,,,,. P P P P P P G實, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac, ac of gera and in in in. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. Yeah. Like just going on Pornhub and looking up porn. No, he's proud of his work. You know, he's sending it to all of his sick friends because who is he surrounding himself with for one?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And I know I didn't realize that about AI, but it makes sense in like lawmaking and stuff. So but like this, I mean, how many like upvotes does it have on Reddit? Is it?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, naturally, because it has to do with women being abused and their rights. But it's like this story, if she could go public with it, she could be the one to probably lead the lawmaking. Or I'm sure there's a loophole that it's like, even if it's not AI, there should be a way that it could categorize itself into something illegal. Please. It does.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
tuned in and with it thank you so much um i'm just i don't want to i don't want to go to your head too much you know no my head can barely fit but i'm like it does come with side effects really yeah i think
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Block him. Block. Delete. Restraining order. And they've been together for eight years. Eight years. And she just found it. How did she find it again? So she's so down bad. She's like, I love this guy. It's like, did you hear the story of Giselle Pelico? No. In France? No. Oh, my God. This is so sick and twisted. It doesn't even. Oh, my God. The woman whose husband. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And they were married for like 30 years. Yes. It's like, can you imagine the love of your life? You're betrothed doing this crazy, like going way out of the way, coming up with this sick, depraved plan. No. Like you wouldn't believe it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Like, no joke. Yes. Like... Yeah, buzz his ass. People need to be scared of consequences again. Yeah. No, actually. And, like, don't go easy on him. I feel like they should do it multiple times. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, I was going to say, oh, yeah, Giselle Pelico, her husband, like, because she was having symptoms, you know, of, like, lethargy and blackouts and stuff and, like, losing her hair.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, literally. I wish I could back off a little bit. Well, Anne, what's your sign? I'm a Pisces, which I was offended. You said Pisces better luck next time. I was like, this bitch. Maybe I don't like her so much. No. My co-bachelorette, Rachel, is a Pisces. Okay. Yeah. But other than that, I haven't really met a lot, honestly. Really? Yeah. We're just at home crying. Literally.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
He would take her to her doctor's appointments and, like, try and figure out what's going on. So he was, like, feigning. Oh, my God, like gas lighting. Yes. I'm like, oh, my God, the level of personality disorders and sociopath that is, like, embedded in these people is insane. But this, and it's a lot of responsibility. I don't think you always have to take on the responsibility.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But if she's listening, you could lead this. Because now people are going to do it. Now that they have this. Technology. Right. And idea from Reddit. It's going to happen a lot.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Wait. Oh, yeah. Literally. Just no. Yes. Yeah. And I do believe it. I think. I believe that this is real. Yeah. I don't think this is a troll post. No, no, no. I believe it's real. Yeah. No, one time I tried to do the math of Sophie Rain, the OnlyFans girl who made like 40 million in one year. Holy. But it's like, I know. I want to know her subscribers and how much they pay.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Because I was high, naturally. So I was trying to like... make a formula to see how many subscribers she had. And basically, I learned that maybe it was the size of the city of Denver. I can't tell you. I was reading fake news. Wait, I want to, what's her name? Sophie Rain. I'm going to look. I want to see. And it could then on Reddit, naturally, there were conspiracies like, this isn't true.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's a marketing tactic from her management. And they're telling her to say these things so more girls will sign up for OnlyFans. I'm like, okay, I believe that. But I'm wondering if there's dudes that... And, like, not saying that all dudes who subscribe to OnlyFans, like, will make AI porn. Yeah. But it could be a gateway drug.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Like, what's happening? Right. Because I'm wondering if you can do anonymous. I'm like maybe dudes are like flying under the radar and like not subscribing or not liking but still paying the $5. 100% because they don't want to get caught. Right, because they're not being found out. I'm sorry that this is the XY chromosome. This is your brethren, not mine. I think this is why like –
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm like, it just feels like you're very emotional.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. Like check in. Totally. Keep everyone in line. Have you heard of this? Yeah. Because I think like they are trying to make up for the fact that they cannot be emotional for one another with sex. But it's like that because like what is even though I was talking about a lesbian who is sexually frustrated, whatever, forget I said it. OK, I can have a double standard. I take it back.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But it's like, is it that there's such thing as being sexually frustrated or is it an excuse? To make AI porn. It's like, what do you mean? How much do you, you know that thing where they told you in like junior high, like dudes think about sex every five seconds. I wonder if that's true for 30 year olds. Right.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, actually. Are you okay? No. I'm just... We're off to a start, dude. No, I'm a laugh crier. It's concerning. No, that's the best. Oh, my God. I love when people laugh cry. I did it once the other day and I'm like, that felt good. I'm just like, okay, literally, why did I put bottom mascara on? But back to emotional intelligence. Sometimes it teeters on the line of judgy.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And then I internalized it and I was like, I don't want to think about sex every five seconds. You did? And I was like humping the couch. But it's like internalized misogyny. We all go through it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, probably. All subconsciously and maybe consciously. And this is the thing. I could be. What's your demo like? You probably have men listening, unfortunately.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Oh my God, I love that. Which I love. Yes. And I even have like some fans that'll write to me. Like I had one recently, which thank you. I can't, like I can't respond to all of them, but I do try. But I had this one that was like, we were watching Traders and my husband cannot understand you. And then we went on a deep dive through your TikTok and podcast and now he's a stan.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm like, I love a convert. Yes, those are my favorite. Because I'm like, an acquired taste is expensive. You have to have a mature palate. If you like mushrooms, you're Shelly now. So like, I'm expensive is what you're saying.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
No, thank you. And like, I want to be on your side, but you're not doing yourself any favors. But I hope that the majority of men are not making AI porn.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And if you are making AI porn with my face, let me see it before you release it. here it could just hack her and just put it in her inbox yeah let me see like I might be on your team like given um what kind of positions like what what kind of art we're making um if it's tasteful right you could reconsider It could also blow my career up. I'm not against it. I think traitors.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
They take AI with all my Argyle sweaters and Scottish outfits. Your fits were so good. Oh my God, thank you. So good. It's like Alan Cumming in the background rolling his R's. Just let me know. I love it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I think if he's on any kind of medication, he needs an adjustment. I hate to say when I'm in between meds or going, I'm upping my dose. This could be me.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. But it does take a certain person who could be capable of more to whisper in your ear, I hate you. Or maybe it's like a kink. Like this feels sexual to me. And it might work.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm just like, oh my God, there's no hope for you. And then I'll continue to pick a part in my head. So I'm trying to come off of that. I'm not judging you. Okay, thank you. No, I already like... I get scared about being perceived. Oh my God. I already like you immediately. Yes. Obviously. Me? Come on, imagine. I passed the Gabby bar. No, I know.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Because my mom also hated me. And like that works on me. It reminds me of my childhood. So I don't know. I'm kind of on. But you guys, I said this is a part I don't like about myself. Like I can be a victim blamer. I want to change it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, they always ask the question, like, the wrong question. It's like, do you think other men are making AI... That's besides the point, if other men are making AI porn. And it's like, yeah, if your partner is whispering, I hate you. Wow, like, what? I think I need more context. But yeah, normal people would be like, I need to run.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
They do. Yeah. Especially as an adult, like as kids, we would be like, I hate you. I hate you. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Like, and that must hurt, by the way. If I did, this is also why I don't want kids because like if they said they hate you, well, actually, they probably mean it because they have less of a guard. I know.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
group of like trendy cute girls and like you just feel that look that like literally and I'm like fuck I should have tried harder today I don't try hard for guys I literally try hard for girls cause I'm like same I know like going into Sephora on a quick stop no I only order online now oh my god everyone after school 3.30pm flooding Sephora I'm like I've never felt more self conscious that is another form of self harm
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
This is so crazy, but I don't want you... I don't know if I'm setting the tone. I don't want you to think that I came in here and sit and I'm like... This is my show now? Yes, actually. Okay, please. I'm going to put a muzzle on.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Right. So true. And then you get an options of like three, like one is the tiniest bottle of purology you've ever seen. It's like how much is, but that's like if online it's coming from the warehouse.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
That's what points are. They're equal to a dollar. That makes me sick. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm making myself sick. Oh, my God. I know. Oh, my God. See, these are things I don't need to know. These are things I'm better off not knowing. But back to the pasta. I mean, he really set this guy off. How long have they been dating? Seven years. Yeah, this probably isn't the first time it's happened.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Like, very different life points. Yeah, and gay men just don't stay in relationships that long when they're that young. Have you seen the posts that are, yeah, just, like, completely made up? You'll, like, get really into it and the comments are like, we don't believe this. And, like, calling him out and then, like, whatever, taking it further. Yeah. I'm like, I don't know about this.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
What do you think about the actual, like, technique, too? Because I feel like this isn't— The technique of I hate you or the pasta. The pasta. The pasta's totally wrong.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But the water doesn't stay hot for that long, right?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But like, I don't... Is the heat still on is my big question on the pot. So if you're taking the boiling water from the kettle and putting it into a pot without the heat on, that's not going to work. You're going to have not al dente. No. I'm getting distracted by this pasta.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Okay, this is the scroll. Okay, here's the original post. Wow, yours goes backwards than mine. Did you set it up like that? I don't know. You get the post and then the comment? Yeah, and then I scroll down.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
This is all becoming really suspicious to me because why didn't he include this information in the original post? And at this point, why wouldn't he call him out? And why aren't you sleeping? Like because you got into a fight? I think so. Don't you have any meds on hand? Some people go raw dog. Don't you have like I have an emergency stash emergency every day.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Oh, yeah. I just like don't get good sleep without them now. Yeah, those are so good. So good. But I'm like, I am starting to question him because it sounds like, you know, when people are like, whatever, calling him out and then you like make up more points to kind of convenient. Right. To back your story, because it's like you're not going to call him out.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
You're just going to let him whisper in you. Clearly, he hates your guts and you need to break up.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm so excited because is it still like Reddit? Still Reddit. Okay. And a lot of people get scared because like... Not me. I'm a Reddit sleuth. Are you? Yes. You know, sometimes when you're so hungover, you need to feel something and preferably it's like something bad.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, but I don't, I think it's way less about that. First of all, it doesn't matter who goes for who. You could still like not date someone that young, but it's not even about that. This guy is whispering concerning things in your ear while you're asleep. So like, I just don't understand why you couldn't call him out.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Quick question here. Did you mean this? Like, just a little concerned. You're good. Right. Like, yeah. Yeah. If you can't have that conversation, like, I don't really think you have a relationship to fight for. No, not at all. I mean, if it were me and people and he like whatever my girlfriend was whispering those things in my ear, I would quick.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I don't even want to put in the context of my girlfriend. If I were him and my boyfriend was whispering those things, I would quick left hook uppercut and get the fuck out. You gotta. You gotta run. Right. Why would you be comfortable sleeping in your bed while this guy, I mean, they're pretty threatening things.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
This is all a distraction from the problem. I love that you can see through it. Yeah. I get lost in the sauce. Yeah. You're like, actually? How about that pasta? Right. It's because you started dating at 21. You deserve to die because you started dating a younger man. Don't you know? But it's like, I don't think that excuses his behavior. And, like, who does that?
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
That's why I think it's kind of a kink or a sexual thing. Because I feel like he's getting off on this. The boyfriend. The boyfriend and low-key the OP. And just wants to, like, check in. Like, hey, he left that part out. But he's like, okay, what do you guys think if somebody was whispering this in your ear? And... And obviously people got distracted, but it's like secretly he likes it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's just a kink. Maybe he, maybe he started the whole thing.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm like, wait, what am I saying? No, because it's like this is its first relationship with a gay dude. So this could be totally baseline. Yeah. This could happen in the culture. And maybe this is the first time we're hearing about it as a community. How many upvotes does this one have? Oh.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
That's okay. Okay, it has 4.4k upvotes. Okay, that's a lot. So there should be some gay dudes in there, but they're probably lurking. Okay, let's see. Like, oh my god, they found out our deepest secret.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. Literally. Like you were saying, take people at their word. Like...
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
But like nobody's concerned about the well-being of this guy and the partner saying these crazy things to him while he's asleep. It's like, it's like, you know, what's it called when you're sleeping and you play something and it's like it gets into your brain subconsciously by osmosis kind of.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
it's they they're on tapes all the time yeah and like there's that episode of friends where like chandler's trying to quit smoking or something yeah it's like you're a strong beautiful affirmations mantras it's like a trance psychosis yeah literally no hypnosis it's like a type of hypnosis but it's like no it could be psychosis but anyways maybe the boyfriend is trying to do that
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
while he's asleep so he'll wake up and be like oh my god he hates me i should break up yeah yeah maybe this is a passive way okay also i hope all of these victims are listening to this podcast and they can um collaboratively learn from each other's stories because maybe the guy from the beginning with the crazy girl with the blackmail yeah he could use this tactic too
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
On accident? Yeah. Wait, I have to pick one to do what with to talk about? Yeah. Or I'll give you option three.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'll let you pick two if you want. Okay. I'll pick the last two because I can't deal with the degrees of separation and twice removed in the first one.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
insanely entitled after an argument over photos of my sister so this new wife is coming in and like fuck those photos she's dead oh my god wow yeah I think I'll go with the two dead ones two dead ones yeah because they're not here to defend themselves okay
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Oh, my God. Am I the asshole? No. No, for once. No, for once, you got me good. You're not the asshole. She's obviously so insecure, which would be hard because I can't. I mean, clearly they got married way too early and they like she's insecure. It doesn't sound like.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I mean, I agree that you don't want to lose the memory of your late wife, but also it doesn't sound like he's so over her, which I don't know if you should ever get over her.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Why can't there be enough room for both of you? Right. Right. Which would be the choice you make marrying into that situation. What was Hazel doing if she's so threatened by a ghost? Right. Yeah. Literally.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, yeah. That was a choice. Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like something could be making her insecure. Yeah. Because, and naturally, because also, she's definitely not the woman for the job, but him, the best friend and brother-in-law... Also is still very entrenched with the late wife's family. So it's not like he... Not saying you should move on.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
This is how he's making his choice is to still be very much involved with the... What's the late wife's name? We don't know. Anna. With Anna's life. So it would make it harder for Hazel. So it's like, I feel like... They just shouldn't have married.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. No, totally. That's not just like going to go away. That doesn't like leave your life. And and the guy, the O.P. is like very involved with the kids and like babysitting and stuff, which is like, what's the not dead ones? Hazel. I have recall. No names are tough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
These I love because I feel like if it's always a woman writing in, they're clearly not the asshole. This is from MyData.com. which is pretty good. Did you do a double-blind study? Yeah, I did all the research in my head. I'm obviously unbiased, being a raging misandrist. Is that what people tell you? No, self-proclaimed. Okay. Yeah. Taking it on. Literally.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Which I just found out what that word meant. It's a big word. Yeah, maybe a couple months ago. I'm like, what is this new word, misandry? And how have I not been using it by now? But if a man writes in, he's always the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Right. Like I need to have some kind of emotion and I need a distraction. So one time I watched my ex-boyfriend's wedding live and On Instagram stories when I was so hungover. It did the job. I felt all right. I would have needed a padded room. Yeah. No, literally. I should have been admitted to the hospital. Checking yourself into the ICU where you used to work. Hailed all ASAP.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I mean, I don't know if you're an asshole, but your wife clearly doesn't like you.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. I'm like, you're pimping yourself out, ma'am. Right. But it's like, what a safe space to do it. Like, I'm all about sex work. And she literally is giving me ideas. I'm going to take this home to Robbie immediately. I want to have compensation. But I mean, yeah, they're always like, it's about communication. I mean, she's communicating. Yeah. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
And it's like she's thinking about sex as a job. It's not something that she willingly wants to do for pleasure. It's like, is he making her cum? No. Right. No. There's like things left out of the story. If the sex is her just sucking your little dick for however long, like she deserves compensation because it is a part of her housewife duty. Yeah. If you're going down on her for hours...
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
doing your due diligence, then maybe the price could be lower. But I still think there could be a price.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
We went, Robbie and I. Was it good? No, it was traumatizing. Really? Yes. We went to this one that was highly recommended by her. Because there's like, I'm trying to remember the names now.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. I'm like, I wanted to. This one was packed. It was mostly packed with dudes like red flags sitting in the corner and a very suspicious position. I know Robbie and I were immediately like, oh, my God, don't get too close. We can't let anybody know we are lesbians because like we don't know what's going on here. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Highly recommended by her lesbian friend who was just there who was obviously very, what do you call it when you're not getting a lot of sex and you're sexually. Deprived. Yeah. Or like angst. Frustrated. Yes. I am having word finding issues, which is like par for the course. So she's sexually frustrated, sat for three hours at this show. You can just go. Anyway, she gave us the rec. Three hours.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yes. It was like, I just always think like, yeah, are they being well compensated? Do they have the right to say no? Like that was immediately where my mind went because this guy's dick was a weapon. It was huge. It was, it could like penetrate her chest cavity completely.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's definitely not normal to ask for compensation for sex with your husband. But it's like, I want to know where her mindset is. Because yeah, I feel like if it feels like a duty for her, there must be a reason behind it. So it's like naturally like a man. I don't think he's giving us all the information. I do think they need to go to therapy and talk about it and like figure it out.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not for or against it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Yeah. Be a lesbian. Seven years? Why are you not making her come? Like, have you ever heard of a vibrator? Do you not believe in toys in the bedroom? No. Like, you need to grow up. So many don't.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
So then when I was on Bachelorette, I did a similar thing. I was so hungover. I forget where I was, but I was in like an Airbnb. And then I looked up my name and it got the job done. It was terrible. And I haven't been back. Thank God, because that's a form of self-harm that should not be repeated. Yeah. No, I agree. And like haters means you made it.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
It's like, no. It's like you're so insecure to like think like that. It's like Robbie doesn't even have a dick and she makes me cum more than any man. Yeah. Why? Why are they so threatened? And I just like—see, I can't have an unbiased take because— See, there's that misandry. It's the misandry. Yeah. And it's like, I love audacity. So you like it. You're like, yeah, she should get a budget.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm like, this bitch is like— And being a stay at home mom is not easy. Hardest job there is. Yes. You get to leave the kids and you I can barely take care of like the house. I'm so exhausted when I come home. But it's like you get to leave. You know, I used to be a nurse and like and the moms would be like, no, this is a break. And our job, our job, you know, working in the hospital was grueling.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
I'm like, oh, my God, what are kids like? If this is, like, your respite, like, fuck that.
Two Hot Takes
201: Any Upside to Evil? Ft. Gabby Windey
Where? You got to get off Reddit. I know. You got to get off Reddit. Pregnancy Reddit. Have you seen the girl with the list? No, but she, this is, yeah. As women, we are meant to have kids because also to contribute to the many lives. I am a dropout of sorts, which I think adds to my resume. I went to a year and a half of midwifery school. I was going to get my master's. Yeah. That's cool.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
OK, we're starting off today with some rock, paper, scissors. I'm ready because you're really good. And I'm like, I thought I was pretty good. But you start off and you're like, I need to put this on my resume on traders because it was so you were so good.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. And even like you have your sister sticking up for you and now you're like, hey, thanks, but let's tone it down going forward. Instead, you're like, well, you made it worse. You made it worse. Like you don't you shouldn't be begging this guy to want to marry you. Exactly. You shouldn't be like. putting yourself down for the sake that he wakes up and gives you a ring.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Something's not right. Tough comment on this one. She should not marry this asshole even if he asks. He is cruel and a very small man to do that to her. Your sister needs to know she can do so much better.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
and yeah a little round of applause for engineering okay 1885 um op does respond to that and says facts dude is a walking red flag if this is how he treats her before marriage imagine how bad it'll be later she deserves way better than a guy who thinks humiliating her is comedy
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I lost my mind at that one. I think it actually was, he was a police officer. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I was so nervous about that one. I actually read it on our Patreon because I was like,
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, God, you're so right. And it's like, okay, gun, proposal, maybe a little apples to oranges, but like truly like it's giving just like odd, screw loose, something's not right here energy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Especially in front of his friends, his boys, and everyone's laughing and she's sitting there like, probably crying. Yeah. Because I'd be bawling my eyes out. I'd be distraught.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'd be distraught. There's a couple other comments from OP. Yeah, dude is pushing 33, not 13. He knows what he's doing. And last one I'll read. Yeah, that's the frustrating part. She's still choosing to stay and there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day, it's her life, but I'm not going to sit around and play nice with a dude who treats her like a joke.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just hoping she sees the red flag before it's too late.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Reddit's coming in. Reddit's coming in clutch. Being on Reddit as long as you have, have you heard the coconut story?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry. This guy lives in Africa, Mozambique, maybe. And he has a mom who's on a health kick and he's feeling a little sexually frustrated. And so he borrows or takes one of her coconuts because she's got a big supply of them and cuts a hole in the coconut and
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I also, I need you to go on like 10 more shows though. Like when are you submitting your Survivor application?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm just kidding. I think my audience would actually kill me if I read it again. I've read it four times on the podcast. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Listen to the episode with Chris Clemens. Okay. He uses this coconut for quite some time. No. Mm-hmm.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Mm-hmm. Yeah, he didn't empty it. He didn't wash it out after each use. And he used butter, I think, as lube.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
See, there's stories like that. And then there's one that actually was verified by the moderators. And the moderators actually talked to this person's psychologist. But this is another story I read where it was coming from the Ask Me Anything subreddit. And the guy was like, I broke both arms and ended up having a relationship with my mom. Ask me anything. Yeah. Yeah. Instantly scarred.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And so the moderator is like verified with this person. So it is a 100% real story. Wow. Wow. the things we find on reddit that's what makes it good another thing we are finding on reddit is this next one it's coming from aith six days old titled am i the asshole for sleeping in my car because my wife won't stop playing whale sounds at night whale sounds all right let's get into it
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My wife, 32 female, has recently gotten really into whale sounds. It started as something she played while working from home, and I didn't mind. Then she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner. Again, fine. I figured it was just a phase. But then she started playing them at night.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Jesse Tannenbaum, if you're out there, right here. I feel like you do so good. You just had such a good game on Traders where you were yourself, but you also had, like, you just had such an eye on, like, people, and you were so intuitive, and it was a really fun season to watch.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we're sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. She says it helps her relax and feel, quote, connected to nature. The problem is, I can't sleep through it. I've tried earplugs, but I swear I can still hear them.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds, and I feel like I'm in some sort of deep-sea horror movie. I asked if she could at least lower the volume or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to fill the room for the full effect. I even tried playing my own relaxing noises to balance it out. Rain sounds, white noise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But she said they, quote, ruined the purity of the ocean experience. After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car. I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and I actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Now she's furious, saying that I'm abandoning our bed over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment. I told her I'd happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds, but she says I'm being selfish and refusing to understand her needs. So am I the asshole for choosing my car over the call of the wild?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to pull up what he put here. Deep sea ocean whale sounds.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I honestly, I don't know if I've heard any whale sounds outside of Finding Nemo. I'll be honest. I'm like, okay, whale calls and underwater ambience, two-hour sleep ambience.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't know, guys. I don't like the bubbles.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to be honest. It's not as bad as I was expecting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
What did he say here? And now it makes sense. I feel like I'm in some kind of deep sea horror movie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That wouldn't relax me. I'd just be like, and the bubbles. The bubbles are really annoying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Not a couch. Probably can still hear him, though. If he's blasting them on two speakers, surround sound in their bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think she needs to take a trip to the local aquarium and just get it out of her system. But honestly, it sounds like she's almost like Pavlov'd herself a little bit here because she's listening to them when she works from home, when she cleans. So it's like now she needs whale sounds 24-7.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Have you seen, this is such an old time movie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. Similar premise. It is the oldest movie I think I've watched. And it's with this guy. He was in the Andy Griffith show.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's like Mr. Lippet or Mr. Something. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The incredible Mr. Lippet. Limpet. Yeah. He turns into a fish.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That's what this lady wants to do. She wants to just turn into a little whale. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Wait, is it a horror movie? Yeah. Oh my God, it looks terrifying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, the movie poster for it is actually terrifying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Back to this one. Am I the asshole for sleeping in the car?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, he's not threatening divorce. He's not giving her an ultimatum. He's like, hey, I'm just going to go sleep in the car.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Top comment has since been deleted by the user, but on the thread, I listen to white noise sometimes to sleep. I use earbuds. Others aren't quite so considerate. My ex used to be uncomfortable and raise her arm and drop it on the bed repeatedly just for that person listening to white noise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Apparently. Like, that passive-aggressive, like, ugh.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which, like, this is becoming really popular. People are starting to sleep in separate bedrooms.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like, a lot of couples do because of snoring or, like, sleep apnea and CPAP machines.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like, no, not the asshole. Maybe just separate rooms. She gets her whale. Maybe they have to soundproof it, though.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Groupon 10 pack. There's only one comment from OP and it's someone it's in response to someone saying like, oh, the story is fake. And OP goes, I wish it was, man.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That is unhinged behavior. Unhinged. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Am I the Asshole, 27 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for making my boyfriend's mom cry because of a petty rule? So me, 20 female, and my boyfriend, 24 male, have been together for almost two years, and we live together. His mother is very involved in his life.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Some might say overbearing, but I try to be respectful. She's nice, but has this way of pushing boundaries while acting like she still means well. So the issue. I have a no shoes in the house rule. My boyfriend is cool with it. All of my friends do it. No problem. But his mom refuses. She claims it's rude to ask guests to take their shoes off and that it makes her feel disrespected.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I've tried explaining that it's just a cleanliness thing, but she won't budge. Last weekend, she came over and surprise, surprise, walked in with her shoes on. I very politely, I swear, said, oh, can you take them off, please? She kind of huffs and is like, you are really going to ask me to do this? And I just stood there waiting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She sighed dramatically, took them off, and then spent the whole visit sulking. Then, later, I get a text from my boyfriend's dad saying I made her cry, and she feels like I'm trying to assert dominance over her in her son's home. Our home, actually. My boyfriend is on my side, but now his parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just went back and watched it. It's actually so good. It was. I love her.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Am I the asshole for standing my ground on a very normal rule? Wow.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I feel like that's kind of a, it's a hard dynamic. At least it was for me to like get over that. Like I'm 18. I have a boyfriend. I can't really, you know, talk back or like assert myself with their parents. But now it's like, okay, I'm 31. I should be able to like tell my mother-in-law how I feel. And it's kind of hard getting over that.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But like, she's also not telling her something unrealistic or unreasonable. It's like, hey, can you just take your shoes off when you come in my house?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are you a shoes in the house person?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's like it's the hill that they're both dying on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I love when we get two sides to the story. We do do that sometimes. I don't know, though. I'm like, I get like this is definitely their power, like struggle coming to light.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which is so funny because like the mom is like, you're just trying to assert your dominance over me. But aren't you doing the same thing by wearing shoes in the house? Like, do you know how much stuff is on the bottom of your shoes?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're just going to swiffer after? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
hi will you take off your shoes yeah well and no mention of like culture was in this story but like i know like certain cultures like you take off your shoes no ifs ands or buts do not pass go do not click 200 but there's no mention of that here so it's giving just cleanliness issue yeah cleanliness no it's it's a it's a power trip this is there this is the hill they're both dying on
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Did you watch Boston Rob's season as well?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I've just seen too many people shit on sidewalks that you're taking your shoes off.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, it feels wrong. I was in New York a couple weeks ago, and this pug just, like, strolled out and just pooped right in the center of the sidewalk.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I was like, people are like... It's a full sidewalk, and... Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, I didn't see... I think I saw... I think I might have seen his second one because I don't know if I saw him in Amber either. But I did watch him on Amazing Race.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think that could be another one you apply for if Survivor is not your thing. Because I know eating only rice and coconut pulp might not be it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. My fiance wanted to invite her ex to our wedding. From what I know, he was a dick who always put her down and told her he was the best she could ever do. Naturally, I asked her why the hell does she want him at our wedding. She said she wanted to shove it in his face that she did amazingly for herself, and she got someone way better.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. Well, I was going to say you could do Amazing Race.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
While I appreciated the compliment, I asked her, are you really so hung up on him that you're going to make our wedding about him? Honestly, once I said it, it was like someone else told me. I didn't even realize what I was saying and I didn't understand until I even said it. I told her that she shouldn't bother to invite him because we weren't getting married anymore.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She was stunned and eventually apologized and told me to forget about her ex. I felt angry and almost told her she's the one who needs to forget about him. I don't know. She spent the day telling me that she's sorry for even bringing it up. I'll be honest. I'm even reconsidering the entire relationship now. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's so good. And the way, like, I think Survivor was so big at the time that him and Amber did it. Everyone recognized them, so they got so much help to, like, get bumped ahead. And, like, everywhere from, like, India to... That's cool. It was really... It was a cool season to watch.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. But just do what everyone else does and see if they're watching your Instagram story. I don't like, don't invite them to your wedding.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like, is she even in love with him or is she just using him to make that ex jealous? And, like, truly, like, look what I got. Like, look, I got better than you now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's bad. I can't even imagine if my fiance was like, oh, yeah, I'm inviting my ex.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like that's something that would be different if like if you had an ex that like you dated in middle school or high school or whatever. And like you've since just remained really good friends, like family friend or whatever. Like that's so different. But this is purely out of spite.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh my God. Is this breakup worthy? Like he's like calling off the wedding right now, but like, would you even move forward with this relationship?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
they need to have some real conversations for sure do you find it kind of weird that this ex might even say yes to coming like why even invite him like he's probably not gonna say yes like you know what i mean like it's kind of embarrassing that you'd invite him yeah yeah like are you not embarrassed you're inviting your ex that's why i was like they have to be friends still like he's gonna think you're kind of he's gonna think you're a loser
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She wanted to, yeah. Which I'm like, if he said yes, then I'd be like, oh, there's some funny business going on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're just cringing on the inside. You're just like, oh.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think so. The top comment on this one, not the asshole for calling off the wedding. If her fixation on her ex raised serious doubts about the relationship, the fact that she wanted to invite him to shove it in his face shows that she's still emotionally tied to proving something to him.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. Next comment after that, this. At minimum, she is not prepared for marriage. At worst, she still has feelings for him. I'm not saying to end the relationship, but at least postpone the wedding for several months until you have more time to clear your uneasiness and feel again, she is the one. Don't take unnecessary risks.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We have an update. So we are going to try some premarital counseling first. Our wedding has gone from being called off to being postponed indefinitely. My fiance tried to explain why she wanted to invite her ex, but not only did she keep changing her answers, each one made it way worse for me. First, she tried to explain that she just wanted some payback.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I told her, and if he doesn't care, are you going to rub it in his face with our first child, our first home? She said she didn't mean it that way and that she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her that I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Ooh, that one, that one hurt.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We kept going like this for a while, and there wasn't a single answer she gave that didn't boil down to, she cares what her ex thinks, and apparently she can't be happy unless her ex felt some sort of way about it. She denied it, but honestly, I find it hard to believe her. I don't want our marriage to be only worth something if her ex is the only one who can determine it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I refuse to be with someone whose happiness revolves around her ex's feelings. I decided to at least try some counseling. We have been together for years now. FYI, she was with her ex for about two years. Three years later, she met me and we have been together for four. I figured I should try. So at least I can say I tried. Is that seven years though? Was with the ex for two years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Three years later met me. We've been together for four years. She hasn't been with this person for seven years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Call me paranoid. Yeah. Call me paranoid, but there's something going on there still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just wouldn't be able to do the eating challenges.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think so. It seems like very emotionally mature, like a self-aware king, like really pulling his ego out of this and just being like, I'm going to give it a shot. Try some counseling, which isn't necessarily the wrong answer. Like I know a lot of us like that sunken cost fallacy. Have you heard that before?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Did you, okay, I think it was on Rob's season, maybe a different one, but they had to eat, have you seen those ginormous like martini glasses?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I'm like, maybe he's there with it. But like, I honestly, I'm like kind of perplexed. I'm like seven years, girl. Like you said yes to marrying this person. You didn't even get ring clarity. So like once he proposed and you're like, I'm not over my ex. Like I should call this off. Like, no, you're still going through with it. But like seven years, she needs to go to individual therapy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
now that you mention it i think i would be too because i'd be like was any of this genuine like or am i just a prop to make the ex jealous yeah am i the b am i always going to be your b plan b yeah oh yeah i feel like i feel like yeah i i don't even know if counseling's worth it
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
They had to eat a whole thing of beluga caviar.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So we're kicking it off. Rock, paper, scissors, okay? Do you do rock, paper, scissors, shoot?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, you're so right. God, what you just said there, like there's nothing bad that would come out of therapy. Like it would truly all be good one way or another.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, he absolutely read her. Yeah. When she was like, she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her, I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Like, that is such a read. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. After seven years broken up, four years out of the seven with you, and sounds like she is still not over him, I wouldn't dare marry her. And that's a mic drop. Exactly. If the ex were to show some interest, she'd drop OP in a hot minute.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The one that got away? I can't know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and inviting the ex to the wedding, I wonder if she wants that I object moment.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I can't let you go through with this.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It was fancy. It was fancy. I don't know. I'm not a caviar gal, but that's what they said it was. And people were throwing up.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There's no other reason to incite this kind of drama.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my God. Why would you even want that on your wedding day? Yeah. That and then that proves like, no, she needs it. She's so insecure. Like she. Oh, that sucks. Like I'm debating even if I can give certain people plus ones for my wedding because I'm like, they're too much of a liability. Yeah. And this girl wants to invite her ex. Crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think you do. Seven years. When I heard the years, I'm like, no, no.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I'm like, wait, how old are these people? But there was no mention of age in the post.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It was too much. So you might have to train. You might have to train.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just tried to find some comments from OP just to see if there's anything else for us. There's no mention of age still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, but I mean, at least it's been seven years since she dated the ex. So I'm like, at least they're in their 20s, I would assume. But OP goes, they aren't fucking friends. He was abusive and they haven't talked in years. So like we get that context.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. People were like trying to like shit on him and be like, women just can't win, can they? And OP goes, right, because I'm the one who wanted to invite him to the wedding. What? Do you think if I was a woman and my ex a guy, I'd magically be like, hey, it's okay. Invite your ex and make her an important part of our wedding.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
people got a little goofy in the comments yeah they took her side on that some but like mostly overall people were saying and saying hey not not the asshole don't don't marry this gal
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, I mean, OP was, I keep shutting my computer. I'm like, open it again. OP was commenting as recent as five hours ago.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, wait, last comment five hours ago. We have talked a few times, mostly about finances and property. I picked up my stuff from our old place. She lived in our apartment before I moved in, so I moved out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
At least done or at least he's really taking space and is like, let's go back to dating therapy and really sort this out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's good that traders didn't have any eating stuff.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So it's like... Hey, you're welcome back anytime.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Bring your girlfriend. I'm like, if she knows a thing or two about Reddit, we can always use some good quality takes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think you did good. I think like, I feel like you had very like... Actually, reasonable, attainable takes, which is like a part of the battle here on the show. It's like, OK, everyone's going to jump to divorce. But like, is that really what people are going to do?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just a little kumbaya moment here. But where can people find you? Anything exciting coming up? I know people need to go and watch Traders for sure because it's truly some of the best reality TV I've watched in a while.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It really does. It's like it's a gamer show because there's strategy, but there's also like the reality TV type fix with it, too.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. I saw the Southern Charm and then I'm like, people are like, okay, we got to get Gabby on like Housewives or something.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm like, oh my gosh, you on Summer House or something fun.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to have to, I have no idea what the culture is over there. I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to dive in. But all of Dylan's links will be in the description of this episode. Go give him a follow. Watch Traders. But thank you again. Thank you. And until next time, bye. Bye. Just kidding. Who would I be if I left you with an episode that was only an hour and ten minutes? That's not us.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. I was surprised they even did the bugs.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, no. That'd be terrible. Terrible. Heavens. Heavens to Betsy. Please, no. So here we are. I've got Justin for a couple more stories. And we're keeping on this paranoid or perfectly executed theme.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're subbing in, yeah. It is I. Yeah. And I'm dealing with some crazy allergies, everyone. Go to your local farmer's market. Get some local bee pollen because when these allergies start hitting and you're not getting ahead of it, it is rough out here. Rough out here. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I have been on a Sudafed Claritin Flonase cocktail. And let me tell you, after five days of struggling, I'm feeling okay right now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The bugs was insane. No, like Sierra, like had them going down her back. Like it was the bugs would. I would have tapped out. I wouldn't have been able to do it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because I feel so terrible. I'm tired. I'm just tired. Those allergies are... Yeah. It feels like an aggressive cold, but I don't know. Allergies. I'm sneezing nonstop. I just can see the pollen in the air.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You can. It's just blowing around out here. But without further ado, let's get into these stories. Also, for our audio listeners, just in case... Who is joining me on these stories?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't think you've ever called yourself that on the show.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's Justin. Okay, this first one.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, boy, Justin, this is coming from True Off My Chest posted eight hours ago. It is titled, I believe I may have caused the end of my friend's marriage. My buddy, 42 male, I've known since middle school and his wife have two kids. They've been married for 16 years. Apparently, he's had very low sperm count for years, and they were quite lucky to conceive twice.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Regardless, this past Saturday, they're over at our house with another couple for dinner, and we're all laughing and the conversation is light. And then his wife asks us a hypothetical question. Quote, say your husband asked you for a paternity test, would you give him one? Well, I know my wife's stance on this. She is strongly against accusing women of infidelity under the guise of these tests.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So I beat her to it and said laughing, quote, If I ever asked, and I never would, she would probably get me positive results within a day or two stapled to divorce papers. And that would be that. But I would never ask, because I love and trust my wife, and no, there's never any doubt.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think if you're the guy asking, your marriage is already probably screwed, and you're killing time till one of you finally starts the ball rolling on divorce. Damn! Well, guess who didn't realize that was not a fun, harmless hypothetical, but in fact a shotgun, loaded question pointed right at me. Yep, yours truly.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Turns out my buddy's wife is nine weeks pregnant, and he, knowing his count is very low, quote, just needed to make sure, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Big mistake, man. She was willing to give him the confirmation. Upset, he would question it, though. My comments were like gasoline on a bonfire, and from what my wife just texted me, they may be separating over this issue.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I texted them both to say I was so sorry and didn't mean to imply anything and every situation has nuance, is unique, etc., but I doubt it helped at all. Guys, why are you asking this to your wives of many years? Just sad all around, and now their third child may be born into a one-parent household. He could have started with the urologist to find out if his count had improved.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So many options before accusing his wife of cheating.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or just to be like, hey, here's other people that aren't us. you're making me feel crazy for being offended. You asked for one and this is your friends. Like, listen to your friends, buddy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or it's just like he's asking, he's like, he's like, babe, my sperm count is really low. How are we having a third kid? And she's like, I don't know what to tell you, but we are. And then in his head, he's like, well, my sperm count is so low. It's not mine. I want a paternity test.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I would assume he is known. So they have two kids. There's no context of how old those two kids are.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The helicopter, I would have no issue with. It's just the bugs. Yeah, just the bugs. And the eating. I'm a texture person.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are there age gaps between the kids? Did they struggle to have those kids? Like just because it's low sperm count doesn't mean they're not strong swimmers. It's not like he's sterile. Like he has some.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So maybe his wife is extremely fertile to make up for his, you know, infertility.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, that's where I'm at, because you can put yourself think about us and our relationship right now. We're six years in. If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, you wouldn't jump to a paternity test. And they've been together 16 years and have two kids already. So what in his head made him paranoid to where he thought, oh, well, the third one, you only get lucky twice, not three times.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I can only eat bananas like one day out of their lifespan.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Third one, definitely not mine. He was being a bit paranoid. Paranoid.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I feel like... I feel like he could just be paranoid.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Like, oh, my sperm count's low. Okay, well, you're not sterile. Like, you still have some. And you clearly have two other kids. Or he's projecting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or he's cheating. And I don't know. Like, people project and say and do crazy shit when they're the ones that are guilty. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Disgusting. You can't do it. Some people eat them green.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just reading Reddit stories, man.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, there's no fault. And I think OP responded perfectly. I think that was a great execution. Like, if you're asking for a paternity test in your marriage, it's already got issues. That might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it doesn't mean there weren't 10 already there. 10 other issues. And that paternity test is like, how did he get there? Is he projecting? Is he paranoid?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Is there issues with them? Either way, he asked for it. Kind of inappropriate. If you have doubts, why do you have those doubts? Evaluate those versus like, I want a paternity test. Because that's not... ever going to have good results. Typically, it hasn't in a lot of these stories we've read.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's gross. Jail. Straight to jail.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
If you more approached it from a you standpoint... My sperm count is really low. This is a big surprise that we would have a third kid. I should look at my sperm count. And OP does get into this a little bit. So there's a comment from someone and they're kind of attacking OP a little bit here. You're looking at it through rose-colored glasses, OP. Try to be in his shoes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I highly doubt you wouldn't have had these thoughts as well if you were in his situation. It's another to speak it out loud and accuse. Yes, the whole issue of cheating wives and raising someone else's baby has been blown up on social media and overblown, a little over-exaggerated. And your friend probably looked a little too deep into it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Doesn't take away from the fact it does still happen enough to be a topic. Just look over at the subreddit of 23andMe, Ancestry. Fucking shitshow because of exactly this. Adding to him very likely being insecure about his potency and already having two miracle babies and now a third on the way. Who wouldn't be confused, surprised, and a myriad of other emotions? Of course it got into his head.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's another issue how he handled it poorly. Should have gone to the doctors again, rechecked, etc. Sometimes sperm count are affected because of stress, diet, and various persons' environmental influence. I'm anyways in the camp, mandatory paternity and DNA test at birth. Not only to determine paternity, prevent switch at birth, but also to check for gene defects, inherited illnesses, etc.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that is a hot take. Mandatory paternity tests at birth. The thing is, a paternity test is different than a DNA test to check for illnesses. So you can do a DNA test and not look at paternity at all.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So coming off of Traders, do you feel like Traders might have made you a little paranoid?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, the switch to a birth thing is a big fear for a lot of people, especially if the baby gets taken out of the room for tests and stuff.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, they've tightened that up a little bit. I think they've changed how they... At least at a lot of hospitals, like the hospitals that I have family members that have given birth at, the baby doesn't leave the room.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like they have a bassinet in the room versus going to a centralized nursery. So that's nice. But I mean, we've had stories in the past where... The husband thought the wife was cheating, did a DNA test on the kid. Kid was switched at birth. Like that has been a story on one of our episodes. Is it wrong to be paranoid? No, but it's it's kind of how you approach it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that's what that comment said under all the muck of what word vomit was in there. But OP responds to it. OK, OP says the difference between he and I and possibly you and I is I would have started my fact finding with myself. Off to my urologist to see if my count has increased. It's like the guy whose wife gets pregnant after he has a vasectomy and instantly accuses her.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. I give you so much credit because I was... And I think a lot of us out there, if you watched, I was really nervous when Carolyn gave you her emotional spiel and you still... You didn't get sucked in. But then Danielle's was like... I was sitting there and I was like, that is the most manipulative thing I think I've ever seen on TV. And you still, you stuck to your guns.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Do you know a vasectomy fails a high enough percentage of the time? Less likely as time goes on, but even if it's 1% or 0.1%, there are 300 million people. Many of them snipped and having sex. Failed vasectomy pregnancies are happening every single day, but it's never people's first thought. It's always, ah, has to be she cheated.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Guys can start with themselves first and not point the sights on her at all.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Unless you do the paternity test.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which I'm curious what people would prefer. And this is an interesting one because it's like, I think for me, I would... Oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. But I would almost rather prefer not knowing. Like if my partner, if you had doubts and you're like, God, this kid really doesn't look like me. Let me just be sure. I would almost rather not know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And like if that's a weird thing, you have to get over. But then I'm like, but there are a lot of cracks. Like if you get that far... There's obviously a lot of cracks in our relationship, but I'm thinking I'm going to make this one the poll of would you rather have your partner talk to you about the doubts, talk about a paternity test, whether it's, hey, I think our kid was switched at birth.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It might not be just, oh, you cheated, but would you rather them talk to you about it or secretly do the paternity test and then life goes on and you never have to know?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Leave it to the poll. Put it to the people. I'm excited to see what you guys think. But top comment on this one. Their marriage was over long before you opened your mouth. Came here to say this. Next comment. He could have a low count, but particularly modile, spunky boys. Or his wife produces loads of eggs, and it's pretty much permanently at breeding temperature.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's far more complex than low count equals unlikely. He's an idiot to jump to this, and it signifies a bigger underlying trust issue. Possibly he could have been depressed about what he thinks low sperm means for him a good while, but he should have talked about it. It could be his own shame lashing out, but even so, he's an idiot. This next comment also, thank you, Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But if that were me, I would come out of the show so paranoid. Like, who's lying to me?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You did such a good job. I was like, please, please, like, get her out of there. And you did such a good job. I would have crumbled. But I think because of your experience, I think you'll do a great job today with the theme I have for you. I'm ready. So we're going with paranoid or perfectly executed. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So these are people writing in and they're like, I think a lot of times with Reddit, people will write in like, am I the asshole for this? And they're just kind of paranoid about it, even though they're not the asshole or they're paranoid about it and it's justified because they are the asshole. So we're going to get into these ones and see if you think...
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But am I the asshole? I'm withholding information from my family too. And my father-in-law, husband's bio dad, even though they never wronged me. They don't pester me to tell them anything and they respect my decisions.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yep. It's their birth plan. It's what they want.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It can go smooth, even smooth. You're still giving birth.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. And here's where I'm like, I think right now she is executing this perfectly. I don't think she's being paranoid because the mom... Acted really goofy the last time. Like the proof is in the pudding. Yeah. But here's the other thing with this one. And I think you need to get a little paranoid about how your husband's going to act. Your husband went against what you wanted, told stepdad.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She went into labor. Stepdad told mom. That's when all the pestering happened. Okay. Mom's calling husband. Mom's getting crazy. Mom's overbearing. Okay. Crossing boundaries, calling every hour.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Insane behavior. But you know who the bigger culprit in this is? The husband. Shut off your phone. Don't enable your mom. Quit being a mama's boy. You have a wife in labor and you're answering your phone every hour, on the hour, for 32 hours. Ugh. I would have not let him come back in. I would have fucking tossed that phone out the hospital window. I would have gone crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I know I'm not blaming her by any means because she was quite literally giving birth. It's not what she should have to worry about. But God, the phone ringing off the hook like that. Has she had the baby yet? Has
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my God. She's pregnant again.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. It's THT Morgan. I don't really, I've posted like about car issues. Like I, my old car was like making a clunky noise and I like recorded it and put it on Reddit or I was trying to find my fiance like an ancient coin. And so I went on the coin subs to like talk to the coin people.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or, like, I mean, the mom said, like, she was just worried about him, like, the husband. But in reality, like... With what? She could be worried about her son being even busier with another kid and not having any time for her. Like, this is clearly a mom that oversteps boundaries and is... Enmeshed with her son.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, I'm looking at OP's account, okay? I wanted to see if there were any other comments. OP has been on Reddit for over two years now. The first couple posts on her account do shed some light. First post in r slash baby bumps. Excited about pregnancy, but irritated because of my mom-in-law. I did not know this existed. This is so funny.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, two years ago. This is first baby. I'm a 22-year-old female, currently 16 weeks pregnant. My first trimester was very frustrating due to a lot of negative results while I was pregnant, both home tests and two blood work plus ultrasound. I lost 10 pounds due to the continuous nausea and vomiting. I bring up the subject here because I definitely feel a bit guilty about it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My family took the news calmly and once in a while bring up my pregnancy and don't make a big deal about it. But on the other hand, my in-laws' family, especially mom-in-law, are overly excited about it. It'll be her first grandchild, so I understand the excitement, but it's also my mom's first grandchild, and I can't help but get annoyed by it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm not sure if it's due to the pregnancy hormones that I get so irritated about their excitement or it's because of the approach that my mother-in-law takes. For example, she just stated that she will prepare her second bedroom for the child ASAP and told me not to purchase anything because it's too early for that. Next thing she stated that she would do the baby shower for the baby in March.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I didn't ask for it. While I do understand the goodwill behind it, I'm genuinely irritated because of it. Did anyone have any similar experiences or frustrations like that? Am I the asshole for being irritated by happy people?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and I think that's one thing to be super excited and throw a baby shower. That's normal. But when the mom is saying, oh, the second bedroom in my house, it's going to be a nursery. I'm going to put a crib in there. I'm going to get everything. You, it's too early for you to shop for your house. You don't need anything. And maybe there's a language barrier.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Maybe something's getting lost where it's like, wait until your shower. Get all your gifts at your shower. Don't buy anything. But most in-laws, most grandparents don't set up full bedrooms for your baby. That's where it's kind of like, my baby's not staying at your house. It doesn't need its own room. Like when you babysit, we can bring a little... Fold up crib. It doesn't need to be crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, typically. A lot of people now are doing that. I think it obviously depends on the family. And, like, some moms have to go back to work right away. And their parents will pick up the slack and, you know, help. But typically, like, people are really nesting, like, Maternity leave here varies, but like three-ish months for the moms I know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And so they really kept their babies at home because they don't have immune systems and they want to bond and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There was... And I teach their own. Like, I'm not going to judge a mom. Like, maybe that's what she needs to prevent postpartum depression, whatever.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're like, no trace. No trace. I want no trace.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
For the immune system. I was very surprised. There was like a literal... It was fresh. It was fresh. No more than a week or two weeks old. Like there's no way. It's the smallest baby I've ever seen in public in my life. And it was headed into a bar at Disneyland.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You know, who knows? And like, again, like maybe that baby, the mom needed that. So she's mentally better. Like, I don't I don't know the situation. I was just surprised given how little it was in immune systems. That's that was I was like, whoa. But I have seen like drama in the hockey community recently. And someone I follow from like her being in Duluth the same time I was there.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Let's get into these stories. Hello. Okay, starting off. This one is three hours old, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for humiliating my sister's fiancé at a family gathering after what he did to her? My sister, 28 female, has been with her fiancé, 32 male, for three years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Her name's Lexi LaFleur. Well, socials wise, she just wrote her first book. Like, so, so cool. But she is married to a hockey player that played at like my college in Duluth. And. There was this mom being shamed for taking a newer baby to watch her husband play hockey. And all these people were like, how dare you bring a baby to a hockey game?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And the thing is, like, if you're a wag, like you're going in a private room, you have a catered meal, gourmet food that chefs prepare, like that might be the best place for her to go. Her whole community is there. And that's kind of what Lexi was talking about. So you got to do what you got to do. I don't know anything about it. No. And moms, I mean, you got to do what you got to do.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like that is just, it's tough. You can only do so much. Like kids pick up RSV from, I don't know, it feels like everyone's getting RSV right now. It's just so scary, but whatever. So then there's drama with another post titled Wedding Slash Pregnancy Drama. I, female 23, currently 31 weeks pregnant. This weekend, I got married to my husband, 25, after two years of being and living together.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know it's a random post from usual pregnancy stuff, but I can't figure out what I'm feeling. My husband is lovely, and I love him a lot, and of course, would love to have his whole attention. But we got married four hours away up the mountains. His childhood friend couldn't afford to come to the wedding, hotel, food, etc., and I didn't have an issue with helping cover the costs.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But due to not having a car either, we had to also let him join us, and my husband kept running to pick him up and drop him off everywhere, even when family suggested they do it for him. His friend is amazing, and I enjoy his company, but I feel so jealous that my husband barely paid any attention to me throughout. We had a short ceremony, photoshoot, and then dinner,
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
drove home the next morning his friend was even there when my husband helped me take off my wedding dress we didn't have a wedding night because we were so tired i feel upset about it and i can't bring myself to tell my husband his friend is still around the day after His friend was there as you were taking off your wedding dress.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Sometimes a corset, sometimes just underwear, lingerie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Not something that you're typically is seen beyond an intimate partner.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that's also supposed to be a really special moment.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and it's like your new husband is taking off your dress. Like that's meant to be like a really special moment for a lot of people.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. So I think it's just kind of proving like her husband doesn't prioritize her again and again and again. Yeah. And the mom is just one other thing.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. We do have some other comments, though, in regards to this specific post. Sadly, fighting her back is not an option. We tried that. She victimized herself and makes my life harder. There's a lot of drama way beyond just this part. So someone does go, I'm not sure I understand.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Have you told her that you are not giving her any information because she's an annoying pest that gives you stress and anxiety and you refuse to have that during your pregnancy? Time for brutal honesty. If you piss her off enough, she'll leave you alone. Not the asshole. I don't think I don't think that's this lady at all. Piss her off. She's going to hound you harder.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We all know one of those people like pissing them off only makes it worse.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. So someone responds to that and goes, bare minimum, I'd tell her a due date way past my actual due date, lol. OP responds, I was thinking of that. My husband disagrees, saying it's an asshole move. Whose side is this motherfucker on? Because it's not hers.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My mind just goes so many places because of all the stories we've read. I know, me too. I'm like, is he into his friend? I know. But she's pregnant with his baby, so he is into her in some way. But like, maybe he is into the friend. And like, I don't know. Like, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. OP just goes on to say, like, I can't really tell... father-in-law or brother-in-law because they'll tell the mom. There is one last comment I'll read that is almost, it looks like a bit of an update. Oh wow. I did not expect so many comments and so much support. As the post has a limit of word count, I was not able to add extra information. So I'll update you now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My husband is actually not the asshole. Did he write this? Are you okay? Extending? Extending? I made this post to show him that his mom is not to be trusted and put extra effort to make that experience better for us. He took it upon himself to tell her the due date two weeks after the actual one. It was his idea.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And we agreed that he would tell her about the baby after the baby is born, not during labor. Thank you everyone for the support. I'm hoping this birth would be quiet and peaceful for me. I am positive my husband won't make the same mistake. I did forgive him for the last one. Just a bit salty still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't either. I don't know. I mean, this person is somewhat active on Reddit. Obviously, there was a two-year span between the wedding drama and this post, but maybe we will get an additional update. I'm hoping so.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I want nothing but a smooth and easy pregnancy labor delivery, but I really would be making sure like aggressively that you and your husband are on the same page because I think like even where he was like, oh, you know, he went and gave her a fake date two weeks out. Why not a month? Why not two months?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my gosh. Make sure she's out of town during, you know, the week before and after your due date. You guys want to go on a cruise? We won this cruise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I think she should get more paranoid to be honest. But so far, perfectly executed. Wish her well.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. That is all I got for this episode. I hope you enjoyed the additional stories to make it a little longer.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. I didn't realize those were going to be there. Sometimes it's a surprise when I go digging. But we are headed over to record some Patreon now. So come on over. We're getting into more paranoia issues, wedding drama. some mother-in-law drama. There's one that's like really, really going to be good.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She's always been the more reserved, quiet type, while he's loud, extroverted, and sometimes a little over the top. We tolerated him, but recently, he crossed a serious line. A few weeks ago, my sister came to me in tears because her fiancé...
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's titled, I caught my husband having sex with his mistress in the car with our baby in the backseat.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So we're getting into some tea. So come on over. But other than that, until next time.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
had pranked her in front of his friends by pretending to propose in an elaborate setup, only to laugh in her face and say, quote, just kidding, babe, you really thought I was serious? His friends all laughed while she stood there humiliated.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I love that you're just like in the zone.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, 32 male. Yeah, prank. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She didn't break up with him, which I think she should have, but she was heartbroken. He later gave her some half-hearted excuse about how he actually had a proposal planned soon, and this was just a joke gone wrong. Fast forward to this past weekend at our parents' house. We were having a big family dinner, and he was there, acting like nothing happened.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think what people need to do is like not like hey man can I get a picture no immediately just walk up and start dueling exactly duel me you have to like regardless maybe you beat me and I just walk away that's our interaction how iconic would that be yeah I would love that I love that. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
While chatting, someone asked when they were getting married, and before my sister could answer, he smirked and said, quote, Guess she'll just have to wait and see, huh? That was it for me. I smiled sweetly and said, quote, Oh, is this like how she had to wait for that hilarious fake proposal in front of all your friends? That was so funny, right? Let's all have a good laugh about it now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The table went dead silent. My sister looked mortified, but my parents looked pissed at him. He stammered something about it being a joke, but my dad straight up told him, That's not a joke. That's cruelty. He left shortly after, and now my sister is mad at me for embarrassing him and making things worse. I told her he embarrassed her first and deserved to be called out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My parents are backing me, but my sister says I ruined things for her. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Good sister. That's what I'm thinking. I feel like he really took this too far for it to be just a prank.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
How old are they? She's 28 and he's 32. Wow.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are you really? Yeah. Okay. What's like one of your, I'm, I'm a hater on pranks. So you're going to really have to convince me of like, what's a good one you've done?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
she's not standing up for herself the girl in the relationship and I'm happy your sister spoke up for her yeah it's honestly it's kind of crazy they didn't break up after that because of how elaborate it is right like if it was I don't know I feel like I feel like a proposal isn't something you should ever prank kind of like a divorce too yeah
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like I've had a Reddit story where this guy or this woman was like, oh, I told my husband I wanted a divorce because all my friends were doing it with their partners and they just they got more attention. They got showered with gifts. And so she did a divorce prank. And it's like, I feel like this is kind of in the same boat of like one of those things. you probably shouldn't prank people on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Today, I'm joined by the amazing Dylan Efron. I'm going to say some spoilers, but you might recognize Dylan from Traders. Skip 15 seconds. Winner of Traders. I mean, your season, this is the first and only Traders season I've watched. I love it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But was it necessarily, like, the best way to handle it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I always down to try something once. Yeah, why not? I love it. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for today. I've been binging your content and I have like this newfound sense of self. I just like, I'm obsessed. I actually talked about one of your podcasts the other day on this show and I was like, there's a study and I'm probably butchering it, but you know, Gemma talked about it and it was like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. I'm hoping she can, you know, go back and contact the artist and get another one. You know, even if it's maybe a print this time. Yeah. Who knows?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's probably one of them. It's probably like an original piece. So I'm like... I know. And I'm like, was he an idiot in all of this? Yeah. I go back and forth with these things that are like seemingly good intentions, but like end up being bad.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, did you hear the story about the room where the wife went on a vacation and she came home and the husband had painted the room green, but it wasn't the green she wanted? And she had intentionally told him in past occasions, like, please involve me in big decisions. And he painted the room green and it was not the green she liked. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it was like, well, you said forest green and I painted it forest green. But she wasn't happy because she wasn't involved and she wanted to pick the color and didn't like the color. But it's like, OK, well, was that nice or was that. was that mean? Was that bad? Like I, I struggle with these that are like seemingly nice gestures, but have bad consequences.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love this. I know I'm still doing my makeup as Gemma walks in. I'm like, I'm so sorry. It's raining in LA and the world is falling apart. We just don't know how to handle rain here.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. I feel like I could spiral on that too because it's like, why do people do nice things? Is it just because they're genuinely nice or do they want to feel nice for helping someone? And I'm like, is anyone really nice or do we all just have self-serving motives and that's why we do nice things? Morgan, we need to slow down. I know.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay. I'll be happy with that. I'll be happy with that. And scene. The top comment on this one. He was visibly sad? Him? The butcherer of the art? Not the asshole. No, babe. He's careless to the point of negligence and doesn't know how to use a brain. Or he did this maliciously to make you okay with his tendency to do shit like this. Bright red flags. "'I'm furious for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You felt attached to this artwork and kept it safe. You've been hunting for a way to display it, but only if you could find the perfect way to do so. There was no rush. The frame would speak to you when it was time. But he not only destroyed the piece of art you loved, but he ruined the experience around it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This speaks to his character, and if he doesn't understand why, this was an unspeakable offense. I would dump him yesterday. I could not live a life filled with so much disregard.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. And like, I have this like silly example. Like I was out of town recently and, you know, my fiance Justin was responsible for taking care of the horses.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
One of our horses gets two pills a day. He's got Cushing's. So he is a high needs little pony. And we have to hide his pills in these like horse treats that have like a pill pocket. And you have to like keep them soft because otherwise you can't put the pill in and like squish it around. And he left the canister open. He like opened it, grabbed one, and then didn't completely shut it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Men and women who are friends and they went in together and the women had different answers than the men. Yes, the male friendship study.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So when I got home, they're all crunchy. And it's like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. But like this, I'm like, was he an idiot? For sure. For sure. And like, I guess I need more context. I'm like, maybe there's a comment from OP. Maybe she says what else he's done.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But then I'm conflicted because she's like, this happens all the time. And she did say it happens. Like, she did say it happens, you know, occasionally or whatever. And, like, because of his context and how he grew up, like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And I'm like, I just, my things are so precious. Don't touch them. OP is very active on Reddit. This is definitely giving real account, real problem because I am scrolling to even find this post. More, has there been anything else about her boyfriend?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm trying to see if there's any contacts because like what, you know, there were mentions of he's done this before with things and maybe it doesn't even matter. But I'm like, If you've had a very clear conversation with him and he then did this, then I'd be like, OK, maybe that comment is a little more, you know, it's got more juice behind it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I think it's tough because people get so much bad advice from their friends. Yeah. Like they really do. I'm like, I almost I would probably trust neutral Internet people more. There's so many stories. I did like a patron episode and I had like a bunch of stories about cheating and the amount of people that were like, oh, you should stay with him. You should reconcile.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it's like, why are you giving her that advice? He cheated when she was postpartum.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Zero. For me personally, zero. Yeah. I went through a lot. I'm not seeing any comments from OP in regards to this post. Big fan of RuPaul's Drag Race, but nothing in reply to this post.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm just like, I don't know. I'm like, I want to know more. I want to know what else he's given away and torn up, but... I don't know. I'm going to see if there's any other comments that say, you know, anything different. Like, slow down, top comment.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Next comment down, it was such an unnecessary risk for him to take. Why wouldn't he just bring his idea to Crop It to OP first and at least give her the opportunity to approve it or not? Based on the fact that he's now sulking, I think he's just a dingus that's clueless about art and composition.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And like, it's like, okay, have a very clear conversation. Really hammer home. Please don't touch my stuff. Like, especially things like this without asking. Come to me. And if he still keeps doing this, then you have more of an answer that he doesn't care about your boundaries.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
They're a sign of love. I'd rather know what I can and can't do than try to be fucking psychic and stick my foot in it. Give me a boundary. I love a good boundary. As long as you're clear and can articulate it well to me, I love it. I don't want to play mind games. I would rather...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
just have good communication yeah that's all it is i feel like a boundary and people like get scared when you're like i'm gonna set a boundary it's like no it's just me like basically communicating my feelings yeah that's it it's saying i want to i want this to work and i want you to be able to love me and i want to be able to love you don't be scared of a boundary
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love that. And I think it's something that's really interesting just from articles I've read about how like therapy is kind of shifting and like how our generation, which is like basically the first generation to really get therapy, is kind of taking it. And there's an interesting article and I'll have to find it. But it was like, are we taking boundaries too far?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Are we not giving people chances of repair? And, you know, like, hey, you burned me once. Let's address it. Let's work on it versus like being quick to cut people off. And I think it's a really interesting concept. It really is. I'm like, I'm trying to think if I have a story now that will work off of that. But moving along to the next one, we'll see if there's any repair here.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It is coming from AITH, 10 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Kicking My Sister Out of My Baby Shower Because She Called Me Old and Selfish? My sister, female 31, and I, female 34, married around the same time seven years ago. She decided to have kids right away. My husband, male 35, and I decided to buy a house first, do a little traveling, and have enough savings before having kids.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My sister now has four kids. I'm currently pregnant with our baby and I've been dealing with hyperemesis gravidarum, HG, and it's been brutal. Luckily, my mother-in-law and my husband have been amazing to me and my boss allowed me to work from home until I give birth. My mom can't help me much because she helps out my sister's four kids a lot.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yesterday was my baby shower that my sister-in-law threw for me. People kept asking about how I was doing and I was talking about how HG is horrible. My sister decided to interrupt me and said, quote, honestly, this is what happens when you get pregnant when you are old. I have had four pregnancies and never had these issues.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I guess you should have thought about this before all of those trips and the we are not ready yet bullshit. Some of us made sacrifices in our 20s. I got furious. This wasn't the first time she's commented about my life, so I told her to get the fuck out. She grabbed my nieces and left. My mom said I was being hormonal and I should have just ignored her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My mom thinks my sister said that because she became a mom earlier than me and never enjoyed her life or even any alone time with her husband. My husband thinks I had every right to be upset because she was saying I deserve HG. Do I owe my sister an apology for kicking her out?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm like, okay, what's the math here? Sister's 31, got married seven years ago.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And, like, that, this is just screaming jealousy. And, like, maybe, you know, maybe their first was a surprise baby. And maybe they, you know, maybe they did want to try. But, like, those are still choices you made for your life. And, hey, even if you had one, you still chose to have three more after. Like, you can travel with one baby. It's hard to travel with four kids. Under the age of eight.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Under the age of, like, I don't know, yes, seven.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I wonder if that's what it is. But I know people, I'm like, I know there's obviously, you know, risk increases with age, like pregnancy risks and health risk and complications that increases with age, even male's age. Like I just saw a study that like
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The older a male gets, obviously we've talked about like sperm declining as males age, but the chances of like ADHD, autism like that is actually like coming from like male semen in this new study. They found that the older males get the higher chances. And I'm like, yeah, like we that's a risk all around. But like, that's still these people's choice to make.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And like, I just I just like Mike want to mic drop what you said, where it's like, you can't resent people for choices they made or whatever you said.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's insane. It's insane. And I hate how like her just being like, get out. Like you called me old. You called me selfish. You basically said I deserve to have this horrible health condition I'm experiencing. Get out. I hate how everyone is like making excuses for her then. Or like even the mom putting the blame on our writer. Oh, you're hormonal. So how are you meant to react to that?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Am I supposed to jump up and down and say, God damn it, you're right.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is crazy. I think it is truly jealousy projection. And I just... I can't imagine. Like, I just would never, ever say that to someone, even if I was jealous and struggling with feelings. Like... Your mom is already helping you with your four kids. Ask her if you can take a vacation. Go travel. Even if it's a weekend road trip, like you can still experience life.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like having kids isn't like this. Oh, you got to stay home. You can't do shit anymore. Like, no, you can still experience life. You just now get to enjoy it with four other little people you created.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You're going to fight them. Top comment. Nope. Not the asshole. Sis is clearly just jealous and can't handle it. Glad you have great in-laws to support you while you deal with a garbage sister and a mom that can't.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Always on my side in the moment, even if I'm wrong. And then when we go home and we're in private and we decompress, he'll be like, you. You were a little goofy. Yeah, but that's exactly how it should be. You gotta have someone that, like, takes your side. I... Again, I just saw something. Didn't you... Did you talk about it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And maybe we might have a story or two that gets into that today. But something else I came across is like sometimes men perceive like kindness as flirting, even in just like professional settings. Right. And it was really interesting. I don't know if that person had a study that they were talking about, but I was like, That's an interesting thought.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
How it's, like, really important for, like, couples to always, like, take sides in public or something?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's a bit embarrassing for you guys. It is. And then we have the rain and then we have the mudslides and the earthquakes.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Happy wife, happy life, you know, whatever gender neutral saying. Is there a gender neutral saying? Yeah, happy spouse, happy house. There we go. I love that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Happy spouse, happy house. I love that. That's my new one. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's so good. So good. Yeah. And I completely agree. I mean, the comments do go on to say, yeah, I can't imagine being a mom with a daughter having significant health issues during her pregnancy and not jumping in to support her. Both mom and sister suck. She's enabling your sister. She's probably always been entitled to.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, sister's definitely the younger little golden child. And that's the thing. It's like, you have two daughters. Just because one chose to have four kids doesn't mean you don't help the other because you're like... That other daughter, again, chose to have four kids and... You shouldn't have four kids if you can't handle four kids. And like, you should be able to help both daughters.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Come join my family. When you put it that way. There are some comments from OP just providing more insight. Apparently the sister constantly says she made a sacrifice so that they could be done having babies by the time she was 30.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. And OP also adds she is fully convinced this is an age related problem.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, and I'm like, I'm going to bring in some facts, okay? Anyone can get hyperemesis gravidarum, however you say it. It affects up to 10% of pregnant women. I'm scared. It's going to be me. I'm already nauseous every day.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Risk factors, having it in a previous pregnancy, being pregnant with twins or more, having a family history, being prone to motion sickness or migraines, having gestational trophoblastic disease, having untreated asthma, having a high saturated fat diet, being exposed to smoking. That is a big list of risk factors. And granted, this is one site, but I didn't hear age. Oh, I didn't hear it either.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I'm sure, you know, again, being older when you're pregnant, like, it does incur other risk. But Gisele Bundchen, she's like... She just had a baby, like, last week.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm glad she has a supportive in-law side and husband and little one will get here and hopefully she'll feel a lot better. And she has great in-laws.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. That's good to have good in-laws. Okay, moving along. You said something and it triggered my next story I have. You talked about fighting with your sister. So I think this one is going to be perfect for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
One of this week's partners is Skims. Skims has been my solution for just about every underwear or bra issue I've had in recent years. I need shapewear to make me feel good in a dress I have to wear to an event or party. I want a bra that's sexy but supportive and doesn't make me want to race home to take it off. And just my comfy everyday bras and loungewear. Skims for everything.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm wearing my Skims Fits Everybody Scoop bralette right now. And I mean, look at this. Look at the stretch I get out of this fabric. It is so comfy, lightweight, breathable. And this is a daily wear for me. I do have bigger boobs. I don't like not wearing bras. But I don't want underwear a lot of the times. And I just want to be comfy. This was my solution.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But no matter what you're looking for or what solution you need, Skims is going to have something for you. Shop Skims best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more at Skims.com and Skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
OK, story number three. This is coming from AITAH, 16 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Leaving My Sister's Wedding After She Made Me the Butt of a Family Joke? I, 25 female, have always been the responsible one in my family. I've helped raise my younger siblings, worked two jobs during college, and even financially supported my parents when they hit a rough patch.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I really had to think about this lately. I'm like, does he think I'm flirting with him? Because he's kind of flirting back and I was just being nice. It's a real thing. It's really interesting. But of course, as usual, I've done a terrible job introducing my guests today. I've said it, but it's Gemma Spag. Psychology of Your 20s is your podcast.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My older sister, Rachel, 30 female, has always been the family favorite. She's outgoing, funny, and everyone gravitates towards her. She got married last weekend, and things hit the fan. For context, Rachel has always had this playful habit of roasting me at family gatherings.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It started with harmless jabs, like calling me Mom Junior because I'd remind everyone to take their meds or clean up after themselves. I laughed it off for years, but at some point it turned mean-spirited. She started calling me Miss Buzzkill, saying I don't know how to let loose because I preferred reading at home over clubbing. Flash forward to the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rachel asked me to give a toast as her maid of honor. I thought it was a huge honor, so I worked hard on a heartfelt speech about her finding love and the bond we share as sisters. But when it was Rachel's turn to speak, she gave this whole jokey speech about the woman I've always looked up to as a reminder of what not to be. Oh.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She then went on to jokingly compare me to a 1950s sitcom mom who probably schedules fun time. Everyone laughed, but I felt humiliated in front of 200 guests. Even my parents were cracking up. I wanted to keep it together, but after the speeches ended, I quietly excused myself to the bathroom to cry. When I got back, the jokes hadn't stopped.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
People at my table were still making comments about me being a buzzkill while pouring drinks. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my purse and left. Since the wedding, Rachel has been blowing up my phone, calling me dramatic and saying I ruined her big day by storming off. My parents are siding with her, saying it was just a joke and I need to loosen up.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I told them I'm done being the family punchline, and now everyone's calling me selfish for making the wedding about me. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, this person gave a heartfelt speech, put herself on the line, and then to just be met with... You suck. You're boring. You're a buzzkill. Yeah. You're introverted. I looked up to you as what not to do.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Why are you taking one of the biggest days, one of the happiest days to patronize, belittle and disrespect your sister?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That actually is very confusing because I've never, ever, ever heard a bride and groom give a speech except to be like, thank you. We love you all. Thank you so much for supporting us. I've never heard a speech dedicated to the maid of honor. It's like the maid of honor gives a speech dedicated to the couple or friend, sister, whatever.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And as you can tell, the girl's got the studies. She's got the facts. Do you have a psychology degree or like how did you get into this?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's insane. I just like, if we didn't... If we didn't have multiple different kinds of people and diversity and all these things, like the world would not go around. If everyone was fun and carefree and didn't care, nothing would get done. Like we need these people. And how nice are these people? Hey, you know, you've had a lot of wine before you go to bed. Just have a little water. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I need those people in my life. Don't forget to take your meds.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Thanks. Like I'd rather not forget my meds and be messed up tomorrow. Like what? And I think it's sad because like by the sounds of this too, she did try to come back and give it another shot.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She kept it together during the speeches. She went to the bathroom to privately cry to not make it about her. and then came back and they were still joking about her how long was she in the bathroom couple minutes at least and you're still joking about her calling her a buzzkill as you pour your next drink
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You can tell when someone's been crying. Come on.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's hard. Like, I've been around people who have relationships like this with their sibling. Yeah. To the point where their sibling has been like, I genuinely don't know if my sister likes me. Like, genuinely. And it's not fun for anyone else to be around either. Like, you kind of start to feel you're like, is she kidding? Is she serious? Like, ooh, awkward. Ooh, that one was a little mean.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it's just like, you just, I don't know. It's like, where does it come from? Is it jealousy? Like, again, is this like a root jealousy? We need that big feeling wheel.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Also, what did she do that was so dramatic? She quietly left. She quietly left.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Please. We'll get the paperwork signed right now. And just the whole, the fact the whole family. Multiple people in the family.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Absolutely not. Not the asshole. No, no, no, no, no. The top comment on this one, not the asshole. When someone disrespects you as a person, you remove yourself from their presence. You know, this wasn't just a joking little fun poke. This was downright making you the butt of an ongoing joke.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The fact that she would make her speech about you instead of the love of her life in front of her and her new husband is despicable. She can find someone else to humiliate for her jollies from here on out.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Preach that comment. 11k upvotes. Next comment down. I have to wonder what the husband's family thought about it. Instead of talking about her love for their son and her happiness to be spending her life with him, she decided to mock her sister for her hard work and taking care of everyone. I would be so disgusted if I heard someone mocking the responsible one.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Hopefully. I would hate it. Like, watching my brother marry someone who is just, like, cruel. Because I look at that and I'm like, she's cruel. She's not nice. Like, is this going to be your kid's biggest bully? Their mom? Like, that's how I would look at it. I just think some people excuse it. I just... I feel like it goes over their head. Or they do think it's a joke.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Or maybe that's their sense of humor, too. But... I think when you have someone who's now said like, I don't appreciate this. I want to be treated better. You got to knock it off.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's what I was going to say too. Why did she make this person her maid of honor? You don't like this person. You do not like your sister. Why did you make her your maid of honor? Because she's organized.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You don't bite the hand that feeds you. Yeah. And then, like, just, like, the fact that she's helped her parents at 25 to, like, float your parents when they're in a rough patch. These parents need to get their shit together and never say another thing to her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, we come across a lot of stories that relate to that. And it's a tough field, but it's like you're helping so many people. And it was amazing.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, my God. The fact the parents even are doubling down and being like, you're selfish. She helped you. She helped you. Where was the other daughter that's older? I'm over it. I hate them. I'm just so sad for this person.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is this a normal thing for like... I feel like sisters fight more than brothers. And I have, like, sister-brother dynamic, and we have a big age gap, so we fought a lot. But it seems like sisters that are close in age fight more than, like, other dynamics. And I don't know, like, do you grow out of that?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because I know it's talked about a lot, like, moms and daughters, you fight a lot, and then you get to a certain point in your 20s, and you're like... oh, I like my mom. Yeah. So I'm like, is there anything like why? Like we've seen now two sister dynamics that are just like not healthy. Like, is there anything?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, that's crazy. I really think that's what it is.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is there anything like and I think this comes up a lot in our Reddit stories, but it always seems like people try to pick on others in front of groups. And like, is there anything behind that? Because I'm like and like pranks, like pranking people like I fucking hate a prank.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm just like, is there, like, something psychologically where it makes them feel better to bring other people lower in front of others? Like, are they trying to gain the, like, approval of the group and they think that belittling someone else is going to do it? Like... Like what?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, that makes, and cyberbullying is the easiest way to do it. You're anonymous.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, that's amazing. You have like the most well-rounded background I think I've ever come across. I'm like the psychology, the Paul, Paul, I cannot talk today. The politics, the economics. I'm like, there's so much like it's like you can make a Venn diagram with all of those things and like the psychology of the ball. It's just I'm blown away.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, I can't. Bullying is something I will never, never understand. As someone that was severely bullied in high school to the point I was put in a little facility, I just cannot imagine ever designating time in my life to bullying others.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I do think it's another sense of addiction because it's like, as you said, like you get a bump on that like that insecurity that you have. And so you get that bump and it's like, every time you do it, you get that bump. And it's just like.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You know, like two of the most popular places to live, California and Florida, we get really hit with the weather. You guys should have rethought that when you were... I'm telling you, Minnesota's underrated, guys. I'll keep telling you all. Everyone, you know, it's going to be a climate refuge. Minnesota. Don't let them know. Now you're going to give it all away. I've got my house there.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, it would physically make me ill to ever like... Yeah. I just, I can't even wrap my head around it. Yeah. Crazy. There's no comments from OP on this one. Account has been suspended. But so, so, so many comments of support and just like, please cut her off. Like, you don't deserve this. Don't help your family anymore if they're going to act like this.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm hoping OP saw all of these comments and... I hope OP takes it a step further and sends this post to her family.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And there's been posts like that where they've sent it to their family and everyone is like, damn, I do suck.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So this could be one of them that gets people shaped up real quick.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Talkspace. I don't know what's in retrograde, but I have been having a really hard time with my mental health lately. We're just not equipped to deal with everything on our own. So if you have been thinking about trying therapy or getting back into it, try Talkspace.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Talkspace is all about providing convenient and affordable mental health care. It's in network with most insurance providers. Most insured members actually have a $0 copay. Zero dollars. And I know therapy can be hard to fit in your schedule and drive to an appointment and do this and do that. Talkspace is completely online.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I've loved online therapy in the past because I could take my appointments from my car, from a park, from the comfort of my bed. And they even have couples therapy if that's something you need. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. To get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show, that's Talkspace.com slash THT, promo code SPACE80. Okay, this next one for us. It is coming from AITH, four hours old. My sidekick Carrie over there found it. I'm going into this completely blind with you. I have no idea.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I haven't even read the title. I'm taking on Carrie for her word today, which is stressing me out, but I'm sure it's good. I'm sure it's good. Okay, this is titled, Am I the Asshole? My wife became emotionally abusive since giving birth. She topped it off by cheating. Now she is begging me to reconsider. That's it? Just triple whammy. No, no, no. We have more. I was like, oh, my God.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, it wasn't a tuba though. No. Trombones are cool. I thought it was cool. I like a trombone. I feel like trombones and I think saxophones are, they're more appreciated than the trombone, but trombones and French horns are really underappreciated.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I, 28 male, have been married to my wife, 27 female, for two years, together for four. 14 months ago, we had our first baby. She hasn't gone back to work, and I've been the sole breadwinner. Her choice. And since she gave birth, my wife has become a nightmare to deal with. She became irritable, angry at me for the smallest reasons, complains about everything. Everything is somehow my fault.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
All she does is hold the baby all day, even if he didn't need to be held, and scroll through her phone. Everything else is my responsibility. We haven't had sex for over a year and a half, and whenever I try to address it, she lashes out at me because even though I'm the only one who works and I do all of the housework... Yet I'm insensitive and don't care about her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I haven't brought up sex until three months postpartum even. I was basically her emotional punching bag. I tried to get her therapy. I tried to address her behavior. But all I get is more verbal abuse. I hated our marriage. I wanted to end it, but I was so scared at the idea of co-parenting. I was scared of the social backlash of ending a marriage with a child involved.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And also, a small part of me was hoping that somehow things would get well and back together. Well, last month, she made it a lot easier to end it. She told me she was going to a bar with her friends and she came back home at 4 a.m. drunk. As soon as she slept, I snooped through her phone and found texts between her and a random guy implying that she went to a hotel room with him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I was almost relieved when I saw them. I can finally walk away from this miserable marriage without any guilt or regret. The first thing I did was take a DNA test for the baby. He is mine. As soon as the results came back, I informed my wife that I'm aware of her infidelity and our marriage is over. She broke down crying. She begged me for my forgiveness.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She tried to use every excuse in the book, postpartum depression, past trauma, alcohol. She promised to make it up to me. She said she would do whatever I want, said that she doesn't want our family to break, but I wasn't having any of it. I have already hated this marriage, and the infidelity was just the nail in the coffin.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We still live together, and she has been begging me to reconsider, promising me everything under the sun. But I have no intention of reconsidering, and I told her she is not allowed to speak to me anymore. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I played a clarinet for a season and it was tough. Did you always get the splinters?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is so bonkers to me. I mean, they have a 14 month old baby now. I'm like trying to do the math. Got married two years ago, 14 month old baby.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. So I'm like, maybe marriage was because of the baby is kind of the math. I'm like, that math would make sense, right? What's 14 months plus nine months?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So maybe found out two years in a month. found out she was pregnant, then got married or were, I don't know. Math is a little interesting to me. But I'm like, there's such things as like persistent postpartum depression and that can linger well beyond, you know, normal postpartum depression. But the difference like here for me is like, he's been trying to get her help.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He's been trying to get her to go to therapy, trying to address her behavior. And all he's getting is more verbal abuse.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's not what he deserves. No one deserves that. You're trying to help and all you get is more of the terrorization, the degrading, the abuse. Unacceptable. Like, he's got to get out. He's got to get out. I don't care if there's a baby involved. Never, like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
ever in my head a reason to stay and like you will be better healthier happier as co-parents because this situation is brutal and I think like looking at their ages and I think this happens a lot in your 20s that sunken cost fallacy oh man yeah like you convince yourself to stay you convince yourself it'll get better or I've invested so much time I don't want to start over yeah we've got a kid together I don't
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, you can't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm. I'll say it again and again and again. And I think you're so right. Like seeing two parents happy and in love and healthy, like, There's so many studies on it that show kids who witness abuse and it changes their brain and not for the better.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, I joined a band to play the flute and be really cute. And then he goes, no, bitch, you're going to play the clarinet. I was like, I guess. It didn't last long.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I feel like we all get a little bonked up in life as kids, no matter how great our parents are or if they split and things like that. It's just like we all go through stuff, but this is a worse situation than... I hope, what comes out of a divorce. Like, he sounds like he's at least going to be a good dad.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. No. Top comment on this one. Postpartum is addressed by therapy, not with adultery. Yeah. Damn. Oh, my God. That's just my job right there. They go on to say, I'd honestly start separation proceedings. Just make sure you kept screenshots of her tax.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and that's another interesting thing. I'm like, maybe there's some... In my head, I'm, like, just trying to, like, weave through what she could be thinking. But I'm like, maybe, like, she had a traumatic birth and resents him because he got her pregnant and all this stuff. So it's like, she wants affection, but not from him because he gave her the ick, in a sense. Like, you know what I mean?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm like... I don't know what it is, but either way, it's like you're married. Those are vows you agreed to. Like if you're not happy and you don't want affection from him, why aren't you talking about it and addressing it and either going to therapy and working through it or seeking a divorce before cheating? Like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, man. Okay, well, you are going to be perfect for our theme today. I started out by looking for stories that were like, damn, 20s are rough. Because you know all about the psychology of your 20s. So I was like, okay, Gemma's going to know that. And it kind of turned into like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm taking my kid and I'm running. Yeah. Bye. Bye. There's only one comment from OP. Saying I already have the screenshots and then goes on to say cheating after denying me sex for over a year and a half and lashing out at me for even trying to address it is straight up vile. She couldn't care less about me when she did it. There's no coming back no matter what she does.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like now you're like the father to my children. It's so hot. I love it when like my fiance cries. I'm like, I feel so bad. I just want to hug him. But I'm like, hot. Yeah. Like seeing him hold a baby.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. So I don't know. Again, it kind of brings me back to like maybe they got married for the wrong reasons. And. We're trying to force it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of like, because we've talked about this on an episode and people were like, I got married after two weeks and we're together 14 years. And I'm like, that is unreal. But I think you're the exception, not the rule.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We're just going to get into it. We're going to go right into this and then I'm going to ask my question. Okay. Yeah. Tell me. Essentially, it's like, oh my God, it just fell out of my head.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But essentially, it's like, is it normal to question, should you break up? And are you settling? And this next story will help us get into that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay. Okay. Another one of this week's partners is Bumble. Are you ready to date your way? Yeah, doing what makes you comfortable, not worrying if you're replying to their message too soon or being too excited or being too scared to show your funny side or maybe a hobby or niche you're really into. Because it doesn't seem likely you're going to find your person if you're not being you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And that's where Bumble comes in. Bumble wants everyone to date their way. They have so many different profile prompts that you can show off your personality, sense of humor, interests. You're really going to get the most out of your dating journey and make it what you want it to be.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You can even make sure you're aligning with matches on intentions, what they're really looking for, whether they want to just meet up and chat or they're looking for a long-term relationship. There's so many different features to show more of you. I met Justin, my fiance, on a dating app six years ago now. And I did it by putting myself out there, by being my most authentic self. And it paid off.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So no more wondering if that match likes Chapel Roan. Hopefully they're proudly displaying it on their profile. So come on, give it a shot and date your way on Bumble. This one is coming from Relationship Advice, two months old, titled, I accidentally saw a text on my 28 male girlfriend, 29 female computer saying that she feels she's out of my league.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I feel like I have to break up with her, question mark. Damn, that's nice. Sweet man. Turns out it needed a bit more work than I thought. I was on her MacBook and I went to send it to myself to work on the desktop windows so I can be more comfortable. So I opened messages, can't find my name in the recent convos and just type it in the search bar.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When you do that on a Mac, it turns out it'll show you the contact if you search the name and also show the most recent conversations where the search term, my name was mentioned. Right before I click my name, I notice a message from her sister that says, quote, I like OP a lot, but I feel like you are very much out of his league and he should try harder to be a better man for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I open it up. Maybe shitty. I know. To which my girlfriend responded, I agree. I read their convo, nothing more. And she went on to say that she thinks I'm unambitious, eat like shit, She said that I was the one thing keeping her happy, though. This was said during a fight over her never being willing to visit me one hour away and leaving me to do all the traveling.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
but then saying she was going to fly six hours one way to visit her male friend for literally one day. She'd fly in at night, spend one day together, then fly back the following day. It turned into a fight because she was willing to fly 12 hours round trip and spend hundreds of dollars on a flight, and we both have no money because we're students, so it's a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
but yet wouldn't travel one hour away to visit me for an entire weekend. Just to clarify, she didn't end up going because I thought it was suspicious, and we got in a fight, and during and after the fight, the convo took place.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'd agree that she probably is out of my league, and she will most definitely make more money than me, but we both will have a doctoral degree, and I expect to make $120K through $130K, and she'll probably make $250K through $300K. So there is an income disparity, but it's not like I'm not making good money regardless.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't think I eat that bad, and I'm slim, so I don't think I'm completely out of touch there, but definitely not eating salmon and steak every night. There was no mistreatment on either end. I try to do nice things with and for her, within the means of my $0 student salary, and her parents like me. I just think she doesn't like me."
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I almost feel numb for asking, but I'd be a fool if I didn't break up with her, right?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
why are you with him like you're with him for your own benefit i think it's honestly selfish to be like he makes me happy but i don't respect him at all find someone you do respect then i'm literally at a loss for words yeah because i'm trying to figure her out and i'm like are you you just don't want to be alone that's yes that's it the bottom line is you don't want to be alone
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He offered, let's wind this back to realize how he even found these messages. He offered to do her work presentation for her so she could go on a sunset cruise.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's almost like she thinks and she does by agreeing with her sister by saying like, oh, yeah, like I am out of his league. Like, so you think you're greater than him? Like he's less than you. He's under your level. He's less than. That's kind of what you're applying. Yeah. But then I know it's like I'm rewatching How I Met Your Mother right now. And I don't I love that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know if you've seen it, but there's this episode where they talk about how there's always a settler. And in Marshall and Lily's relationship, Lily is settling and Marshall goes out of his way to prove like, no, I can get girls. No, like you're not settling. No. Yeah, I'm not. No. And it's just like, is that the case? Like, is do do it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Does everyone think that do a lot of people think that? Like, I don't think I'm. Do you think that? No. I'm like, I don't think I'm settling. But I'm like, is it normal? Like a lot of people talk about that. And there's so many phrases like, oh, he really outkicked his coverage or she's out of his league or he's out of her league or damn. How did you end up with her?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I'm like, what? It's obviously a common thought for a lot of people because there's so many tropes about it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And that's where I'm at. I'm like, I'm better at Justin than, you know, I don't know, editing the podcast. And he's better at me than making music. Like we both, like everyone's going to have their strengths and weaknesses. And that's why like you create this partnership. And it's like, I hate cooking. Justin loves cooking. So I'm going to let him do that. Like I love vacuuming.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That man has not touched a vacuum since we've moved in together because that's my job and I love it. So I'm just like, I can't imagine thinking like I'm so much better than someone, but still being with them.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay, up first for us. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is 12 days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Throwing Out a Piece of Art My Boyfriend Ruined? Two years ago, I saw an original watercolor piece that I liked and I contacted the artist and I bought it. When the piece arrived, I sought a frame for it, but I hadn't been able to find a frame for that size every time I went to the store.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know. I'm just like, there's so many good dudes out there. And it's like, Don't get stuck with someone who doesn't deserve your kindness. Yeah. She can find someone else. Yeah. Let her put that fish back. Yeah. Catch and release. Throw her back. That's funny. Top comment. Mate, put aside what she says for a second.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She's willing to go visit a male friend six hours away, but unwilling to visit you an hour away ever. That should have been the end right there. Yeah. And that's true. And that is a little suspicious. Like, I get why it caused a fight.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I think that's very, very telling in relationships and friendships. It's like, if you're the friend that's always willing to drive over to their house and pick them up, but yet you're heading back from dinner and they refuse to drop you off at your house even, like, That's not an equal relationship. Like that stuff drives me nuts. Like, yeah. And it's like, again, it goes back to that thing.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's like, why do you do nice things for people? Like it shouldn't be expected that it's reciprocated. But it's still like you want things to feel balanced. You want it to feel fair.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And we're all entitled to have friends of who we want, but where it's like, you won't ever take an hour trip to go visit your boyfriend, but you'll get on a plane. 12 hours.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
A lot of comments of support on this one. There's another one that says, OP, this is a scathing observation from her point of view about you and your relationship. If she thinks she will resent you in the future, then that means that the seeds of that resentment are already planted in her mind. She thinks that she won't be happy with you in the future due to your income.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I think she's still with you because she's not ready to have kids yet. When she thinks that she needs to start having kids will be the time when she'd break up with you to find a suitable partner to have kids with. So I think in other words, you are a placeholder and the man right now because you keep her happy. The question is, what does she do to make you happy?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And then they go on to like talk about like, again, that travel and that trip. And they go, this is very concerning. She's willing to buy a plane ticket. Guessing that's not cheap.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
go through the hassle of going through the airport, fondled by TSA, fly for 12 hours, on red eyes, both flights, just to see a friend, and she's not willing to make some minimal efforts to visit you, that should tell you where her priorities are.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is the worst possible way for him to find out that she's cheating on him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
the shoe at least she hasn't done it recently since she didn't end up going on that trip she didn't end up going yeah i think honestly i think maybe she's not cheating but more so like if the opportunity arose she would i think it goes back to that like maybe she was friend zoned or maybe they were friends with benefits in the past and she's hoping there's a chance but you know she's willing to maintain at least a friendship to keep the door open
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
They were all too big or too small, so I just kept the piece in an envelope in my desk. I would sometimes look at it, remember I had to find a frame for it, but would later forget again. Work, family, and life leaves little time to devote to thinking about a frame for a painting, and I don't have any framing businesses near me, so that wasn't an option either.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, we're done. Oh, good job. Sorry, it wasn't a dramatic ending. Some may have been looking for, but I did bring up what I saw. She cried and said she didn't mean it, etc. And that was about it. Thanks for the people reminding me I'm a catch because it seems like I forgot that for a bit. but I'll probably wait a bit before dating again so I won't be able to see how true that is for a while.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Small edit, she didn't go on that 12-hour round-trip flight because I called her out. She cheated in the past, but not on me that I know of, and for the people saying I'm cooked or things like that for waiting this long, I had very important tests to take, so I didn't want the additional drama until they were over so it's not like I read it and was going to let it slide.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because people were calling him out to be like, he saw those texts 42 days ago and he still hasn't broken up with her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and the sister was the one that technically said, you're out of his league. And she just said, I agree. But still agreeing to that and then hammering home, he eats like shit. I wouldn't want kids even if I did want kids. It wouldn't be with him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Bye. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. Bye. Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. If you're like me, you probably sign up for free trials and forget to cancel them. A lot. And then you're charged. And honestly, it's a lot easier to cancel your card and get new numbers than it is to go in and unsubscribe and figure out how to cancel. Well, that's where Rocket Money comes in.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. When I first started using Rocket Money, I found out I was paying for the same streaming service twice. And I'm sure a lot of you out there could be in the same boat as me.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And as someone that's prioritizing financial wellness and really good budgeting this year, Rocket Money's dashboard is so nice. I see my expenses across all of my accounts in one easy place. And my favorite feature, Rocket Money will even negotiate your bills lower for you. So no more taking your time to call those companies and ask for retention offers or threaten to quit.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rocket Money will take care of it. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. Okay, I think we have time for this crazy one and then a little bit of a palate cleanser. Okay, let's do it. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Today, my boyfriend is dusting and comes out of the office showing me the painting on a spare frame he had been using for something else. I ask him if that frame is 9x12. He tells me it's 8x10, that he had to cut a piece of the artwork to make it fit.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. I have gone down the rabbit hole of this recently of like how many affairs actually start at work. Like we've had a couple of different stories that have like brought it up and the stats on it is insanely high. Insanely high. I'm just going to Google it so I don't like misquote it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
85% of affairs outside of marriage start at work. yeah no I believe it I fully believe it what 85% yeah no also we didn't talk about this like I've had no story to bring it up but I had one on Patreon that like again I brought up and I found out this stat that 1 in 10 men like this was a heterosexual study 1 in 10 men so 10% of men will cheat on their pregnant partner Rocked my world.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, that makes me so sad. I never would have guessed that that stat was 10%. Like, never. I would have said 1 in 100.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm fine. So everyone, there's enough houses to go around. Come on, guys. But where are you coming from? All the way from... From Sydney, Australia. From down under. From down under.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like maybe one in a thousand. Like I never would have guessed that stat. Ten percent? There's a lot of studies coming out on it now. And this one psychologist has really like analyzed it and he wrote a book on it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The psychologist is Robert Rodriguez. He is the author of What's Your Pregnant Man Thinking? Hmm. So apparently, according to him, 10% of fathers-to-be cheat on their partners during pregnancy.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I never just the stats around that. And so like 10 percent that 85 percent of affairs start at work. Like not saying all of your partners are going to cheat. Right. Not saying that. But of the affairs that people have outside of their marriage, 85 percent start at work. I want to know how many people don't cheat on their partners.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When I look at it, the piece went from a centralized composition to having the composition addented to the left side because he cut all the whole inch on the one side to save the artist's signature, which was on the extreme opposite end. For reference, imagine if you cut the Mona Lisa to the point where her head is no longer the center.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
According to a YouGov poll, around 63% of Americans who have been in monogamous relationships report that they have never cheated on their partner. meaning a majority of people don't cheat. Yeah, thank gosh. There's hope, guys.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay, so work wife. This is coming from True Off My Chest, four days old. My husband doesn't see how his work wife is trying to destroy our marriage. I, 31 female, am at my wit's end with my husband's, 32 male, co-worker Sarah, 30 female, and his complete inability to see what's happening. I'm not usually one for Reddit, but I need to know if I'm crazy here. Where do I even start?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Three years ago, my husband, Mark, started working with Sarah. At first, I tried to be welcoming. I invited her to our barbecues, included her in group outings, and genuinely tried to be friendly. Big mistake. She spent the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career. Oh, you're just a yoga instructor? How peaceful. To my cooking.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Quote, I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning. Ugh. bitch. The real problem is, is that Mark thinks she's just being funny. Last month, she literally threw away the anniversary mug I gave him because it clashed with the office aesthetic. When I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive and that quote, Sarah just has high standards for office decor.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Some greatest hits from Sarah. And these are in bullet points. She scheduled a mandatory work dinner on our anniversary. She convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would mean working with a different team. She posts daily photos of them together with hashtags like hashtag work power couple hashtag work spouse.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She tells everyone at their office that she, quote, takes better care of him than I do. She changed his coffee order and now tells everyone she trained him right. The worst part? My husband is completely blind to all of this. Yesterday, he actually told me about how Sarah said our new house, which we spent months searching for, was charming in a starter home kind of way.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He repeated this while laughing. I try to talk to him about it, but Sarah has convinced him I'm just insecure. She's managed to insert herself in every aspect of our lives. They text constantly, even on weekends. She knows his schedule better than I do. She rearranged his entire desk and office wardrobe because his style was too suburban husband. That's what he is.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Last week, I suggested marriage counseling. He looked genuinely confused. He, of course, went and talked to Sarah about it. And I found out from another coworker that she's been telling people that Mark and I are going through a rough patch and that she's just being a good friend by giving him someone to talk to. We weren't going through anything until she started this nonsense.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The breaking point, I stopped by his office to surprise him with lunch. I know, I know, but it was his birthday, and Sarah was supposedly out sick. Guess who was there? Sarah. She had miraculously recovered and brought him a cake that said, To my work hubby, with a photo of them from the office holiday party. She saw me and said, Oh, Amy, you came too. How nice.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When he notices I'm perplexed, he nonchalantly tells me that the painting was in an envelope anyways, and it's better that it's out so he can see it. I get mad because this is not the first time he has taken something of mine and given it away, offered it to someone, or just not asked and done whatever he wants with it. His mother does the same thing with his things at her house.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Mark, you didn't tell me your real wife was coming. I'm not crazy, right? This woman is trying to destroy my marriage while my husband stands there grinning like it's all some big joke. What do I do? Divorce seems extreme, but I'm running out of options here.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Are my feelings not more valuable to you than your co-worker? Yes. The fact that he didn't take a promotion to the point where it's actually starting to detriment his career. It's detrimenting his personal life. It's impacting all areas of this man's life. But he wanted to be around this woman so much that that he didn't take a promotion because it would mean not working with her.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And I'm like, a lot of people, I love that you bring up ultimatums because like a lot of people are like, ultimatums are bad. But I kind of struggle with like, okay, what's the difference between an ultimatum and just setting a firm boundary? And a choice. And it's like, it's not like she's not giving him a choice. It's literally, here's your choices.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because as of right now, our relationship is suffering. I'm being constantly disrespected. And like, it's at, everything is at my expense.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, of course he doesn't want to set a boundary with her because he enjoys this attention. He enjoys this flirting at work.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
In their family, if you're not using something, anyone can do with it as they please. I explained to him, in my family, you don't do anything with other people's stuff. I have the tendency to ruminate on thoughts, so I try not to engage negative emotions because then I just can't let go of them, and I cycle, and I cycle through them, and it makes my life miserable.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know maybe he'll find a new work wife I Sarah's gone like I know and I I also think like Sarah only wants what she can't have I'm like if these two did get divorced would Sarah even be interested I don't know I'm also curious about Sarah's relationship status like is she dating or is she literally trying to swoop in like if she's single that would scare me
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That is what's so boggling to me. It's like, you guys are married. I've had boyfriends that have dumped girlfriends of theirs because of how they treated me. Boyfriends.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Who like ended up cheating on me, but still found that their friend was more disrespectful to me. They found that more disrespectful than cheating. So they were willing, like, you know, I'm like that math. I'm like, they were willing to cut off female friends because of how they treated me. And her husband won't.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Top comment on this one. You have a husband problem. Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns. Remind him that he's married to you, not Sarah, so her opinions shouldn't matter when it comes to your marriage. Good luck, but be prepared for the worst.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Next comment down. Yeah, this guy isn't oblivious. He's complicit. He knows what's happening, and he likes the attention. He is happy to let his girlfriend disrespect his wife. That's literally what you were saying though.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I hate him. I might hate him more. Yeah. I don't like them both, but I really don't like him. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, guess what? Oh, my God. An update. We have an update.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Hi. I posted a few days ago. I really didn't expect my post to blow up. I got so overwhelmed by all the comments that I haven't responded to any. I want to address everyone who says it's fake. I understand why you think that, but this is my personal hell. I only listen to Reddit stories on TikTok, but when this reached its boiling point, I just needed a place to talk.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I made an account and tried to yell into the void. Well, the void turned out to be less empty than I thought. Now to why everyone is here. The update. She went through his phone. I'm so scared. I haven't read this. I'm so scared. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She was flirty. He wasn't really flirty back. They talked a lot, and he praised her frequently for her work ethic and intelligence.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I have to devote a lot of energy to get me back to normal. Every time I looked at the framed painting, I felt a new wave of sadness, anger, and frustration ripple over me. So I took the frame down, took the painting out of it, ripped it into four pieces, and threw it in the garbage. When my boyfriend saw it, he was shocked and visibly hurt.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I didn't see anything about cheating. I checked his email. Nothing. I checked his work email. Nothing. I looked through our other devices. Nothing. I searched high and low for a second phone. Nothing. Everything I found was always dancing that line. Nothing was outright cheating. But here are the things I found that did hurt my feelings. Bullet point number one.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He has lunch with her and only her every day in the office. They don't really like anyone else, so they'll criticize others and say, let's talk more at lunch. They're serving XYZ today. Next, he'd say things like, quote, I'm sure if you were a wife, you would XYZ. He always kept it as a wife and not my wife, but it still upset me. She admitted to breaking the mug on purpose.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He didn't get upset with her, just said, yeah, the photo gifts are kind of corny. Ouch! Ouch! That sucks. There was, I think there was like a little edit on the bottom of the original post. Now that I'm peeking, I'm like, wait, mug. Edit to add, I should have told the mug story in its entirety. She accidentally broke the mug.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I noticed it was gone when I was visiting him one day and asked him about it. He said she accidentally knocked it over and then later he repeated a joke she made about how it didn't fit in with the office aesthetic. So she broke the mug. She broke it on purpose.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She's miserable. Yeah. She's actually miserable.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
dick oh my god i confronted him i laid it all out and while he wasn't upset he did try to brush it off he said i was being sensitive and overreacting i told him if we didn't have a real conversation about this i would file for divorce that got his attention and he sat down with me He admitted that at first, he found it odd that Sarah was trying so hard.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He saw her trying hard with all the men in the office. The more attention she gave him, the more he enjoyed it. And the more he responded, the more attention she gave. Until she just had her sights on him. He knew some of the other men were envious, and he liked that too. He admitted that eventually he just got in too deep.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He said he knew it was wrong, but had gotten addicted to the attention and didn't want her to move on to another man. So he indulged her sometimes at my expense. He said it was just nice to have two women in the two major parts of his life, stating that he knew we'd rarely see one another, so what was the harm?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He reiterated that he never, ever physically cheated with her, but admitted it could be called an emotional affair.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It was painful. I won't hide that. I mean, really painful. Like I wasn't enough. I told him from this point on he needed to stop communicating with Sarah and ask to be transferred or switch jobs altogether. Now, folks, I mean it when I tell you this. He lost his shit.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
he began raising his voice saying things like he never cheated it was all above board and i couldn't control who he talked to at work he called me a narcissist a control freak he told me i had no idea how hard it was how much stress he had in the office and that his personal relationship with sarah helps a lot taking it away would just damage his mental health it got so bad that i started crying i couldn't take it anymore and i decided to leave
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I packed a small bag and called my mother-in-law. She's the only family I have, and I gave her a rundown of what was going on, and she offered her home to me. I'm staying here and just hoping my husband calms down so we can revisit this. I want to work it out. I love him more than anything. I will try harder to answer comments on this post, and I will definitely update if something new happens.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I get that his intentions were good, but he ruined a piece of art that was not his to begin with. Now it's awkward at home because I'm still fuming and he's sad. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This has been really therapeutic and makes me feel less alone.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Literally. He's more worried about losing Sarah than losing you. Yeah. That's what that whole freak out just showed. And the way he just like instantly went to attacking her. You're a narcissist. You're this. You're this. You're like... Because I'm tired of being disrespected. You just admitted the problem. You said you're addicted to it. You agreed or admitted it was an emotional affair.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So why would I allow you to continue with an emotional affair?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I hope she's got some friends. I hope she's got like another village that like isn't just family. Yeah. And mother-in-law is on her side. We have a comment from just 23 hours ago that like mother-in-law is on my side, told me point blank, he is wrong. However, she doesn't want to get in the middle because she doesn't want to damage the relationship with either one of us.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm welcome as long as I want to stay there. As for my husband, he has tried to reach out. He's called, left messages, texted. I let him know I was safe and left it at that. He will message or call every few hours, but we haven't talked.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and the thing is, it's like, You want a work wife. And I get it. Like, we spend half of our lives at work, right?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You want a work wife and you want the real thing. But when your work wife is now hurting your real life, like... You can survive at a job without having an emotional affair with a coworker. It's called friends. Yeah, literally.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, everyone thinks they're having an affair. That's why. Yeah. That's why other co-workers are reaching out to the wife. Yeah, for sure. They feel bad for her. They feel bad for the wife. That's why they're reaching out. They're being like, damn, if this was my husband, no way. No way in hell. Yeah.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And she really said, she's like, I want to work it out. I want to go to therapy. I want to try to fix this. I love him. But you also need to love yourself. And if he's not willing to work through this and if he's not willing to make steps to change this behavior, you got to go because he doesn't love you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He loves himself more than he wants to have that cake and eat it too. And he's not willing to make a sacrifice. Air quotes there. I'm baffled.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm baffled, but I've kept you here long enough. I'm going to lighten the mood with one more because I find this amazing. Oh, yay. I'm so excited. Okay, this one is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled, My 19 female boyfriend, 22 male, has a pirate ship bed and refuses to change it. Help. Yes, you read that correctly. My 22-year-old boyfriend had a replica of the black pearl as his bed.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We're both in college currently. I live in a dorm while my boyfriend has his own apartment. Out of respect for my roommate, I sleep over at my boyfriend's place instead of him sleeping in my bed since our dorm room isn't that big. I love the black pearl, and I think it's cute, but we need a real bed at this point.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I asked him if we could think about getting a new bed, but he said it would ruin the aesthetic of the room. I even offered to chip in, but he declined. We're not big people, but the twin-size mattress does not work. My boyfriend is 6'3 and hangs off of the mattress. That's my current situation at the moment. I'm headed over to the black pearl now. Wish me luck.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is it going to work if he refuses? Refuses, right? Like you guys move out, you get a house or an apartment or whatever together and he refuses to get rid of that bed. I don't know what you're going to do. I think at that point you have to hire like a carpenter and make like a custom one. An even bigger one. An even bigger one. That'd be a nice Valentine's Day present. I'm like, you could do that.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's sweet. I'm like, there was... There was some thought. There was some thought behind it, but like... I would never... I don't know. And maybe this is like boy brain versus girlfriend because I tell my fiance this all the time. I'm like, that's kind of a boy brain thing you did. Exactly. Girl brain wouldn't do that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. OP is in the comments. This is a picture of the bed. Apparently it was from Costco. It has it's a full boat. Like if you think about one of those baby boats that have oars on it, it's one of those, but with a bed frame in it. But then they retrofitted it. So it's got like a captain's wheel, like the ship's wheel at the front of the bed.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm like, you could get another one and just push them close together, but you're kind of separated.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, you're separated a little bit. Yeah, just take one of the walls out. But some people aren't cuddlers, and some people go so far as not sharing a bedroom with their partner because of snoring or whatever.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We found. Okay, we find out more details. Yeah. His has a chest in the front and the back. It doesn't have the wheel.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He said his parents bought it for him at Costco when he was seven. He might have to let that go. I'm going to be honest.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, I think it'd be so cute if he like want if he wants kids, if he saved it and then like his kids used it someday.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Love that. Like, love that. I'm not asking you to get rid of it forever. You know, if we have a guest room, we can put in the guest room. But I would love to cuddle with you. And you're 6'3". And twin beds are they're tiny.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love the practical DIY solution. Yeah. And I mean, OP does say she likes it. She's like, I love the black pearl. It's cute. They sound really sweet. They'll figure it out. Yeah, they will. They'll figure it out. That is probably the only story in this that doesn't make you want to say, psych. Yeah. Because this episode was insane.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm like, in my head, I would never think to cut art that someone purchased. I'm like, that is the art. Like, this isn't a watercolor she made. This is something that was purchased. And he thought enough to not cut the signature or... But then cut one side. He didn't even take a half inch from each side, which is what I would have done.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Thank you so much for coming on. I feel like I'm just like I just want to pick your brain forever. But I of course can't do that. So if other people are in the same boat, where can they listen? You have two amazing shows. Yeah.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
hypnotize you with words I need that and then the psychology of your 20s and I feel like we go through some of these other dilemmas but we explain the psychology behind them I love love that you guys go listen your life will be changed I literally listened to one one clip of Gemma's earlier and I'm like Okay, I'm healed. So check her stuff out.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It will be easily linked in the description of the show notes on YouTube on the podcast side. So just one click. It'll be literally one click for you. But thank you so, so, so much for being here. Thanks for having me on this rainy LA day. Oh my gosh, I know we have to go out there. But thank you, guys. Be sure to check out Patreon. February has some amazing, amazing bonus stories.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
A bunch of free ones, too. There's two free ones that I just posted. So head on over there. But other than that, until next time, bye.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He didn't even just fold it over or do something like that. Or where's the piece? Can we glue it? Can we not seam it together in a frame that fits?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is that like... I guess, too, it seems like she's been very clear setting the boundary. Like, she said, hey, please don't touch my stuff. Please don't give my stuff away. And it's something he kind of continues to do. It sounds very...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And there's so much here. I'm like, how clear had that conversation been in the past?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Of setting that boundary where you're just like, yeah, please don't touch my stuff. And it's like, okay, well, is he interpreting that as any of your stuff? Like, hey, you bought the toaster. I can't touch the toaster.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. I'm like, that felt very emotionally immature. Yeah. But I'm like, maybe that's how she processes it. And it's just like, But she sounds like she's still upset. I know. And it's also like it felt very pointed where it's like he saw the pieces ripped up.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's like it's like, you know, when you like are mad at your partner and you're just like, well, I'm going to put it in front of him so he knows I'm still mad or I'm going to like.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, to send the point home. It's like, she ripped it up and then, did you put it on top of the garbage so the next time he opened it, he would see it? And, like, even if you went to the garbage again and you had to throw something away, you picked out those pieces and put your new garbage in there and then reset it back on top? I have no idea, right? We have no idea. But I'm like...
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, now as someone who, I mean, she said here, like I ruminate, I tend to cycle and cycle and I get that. I'm a ruminator through and through. And so for me, if I don't talk something out with my fiance, I'm like... okay, like I'm so unsettled. Like we just need to come to like a resolution in this and like, okay, if we need to take a break for an hour, that's cool.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But like, we can't go days not addressing this. No. And so now she's on this part of like, she's now ruminating on how he feels sad and how the place doesn't feel like a happy home. And it's like, Was it worth it? Like, are you an asshole for throwing out a piece of art that your boyfriend ruined? No. It's your art. You can do what you want with it.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
So it's really comes down to, I honestly want to know what would happen in court.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Well, it's interesting that neither of them anticipated this. Is this a first? Is it just happened to be that material? And it's like the first time something like this has occurred?
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Either the friend going over could have had the, you know, the idea to say, hey, can we put him away? Because I'm just, you know, I don't want to mess around with this dress because he tends to go towards things. Or the owner could have been like, hey, I'll just put him away just because, you know, just in case. So neither of them anticipated. It's like it happened all of a sudden.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I don't think you are in the sense that I think when people have the ability to walk away or need voice that they need some space in like even just a regular argument. If you're just like, hey, this isn't productive. I think we just take some space. and preserve the future relationship instead of saying things or hearing things that can never be taken back or things being taken too far.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
In that sense, it doesn't feel so much to me like you're putting out your sister who's struggling so hard right now and just needs someone. You're more for your own and her own good, as well as your mutual relationship, doing it with good reason. Because you're coming off of this so fresh and you're still very affected by it, frustrated.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
And yeah, you say now that you want nothing to do with her at future events and all this, future milestones, but... I think that's just how you feel right now. But because you're mentioning things like that, it's probably best for her to not be right in your space day after day, just so you can get some space from what happened. Come back down. Yeah, it sucks.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Like that's the big moment everyone like remembers from the wedding and But that'll pass. All the dust will settle. So I don't think it's that bad. Might be really hard for her. In some ways, she made her own bed. She did. It might be hard on her. But for right now, I think it's just... It's good for you. And it's good for the both of you in the long run.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I feel like it's such intense emotion that she doesn't know how to handle it. And it's blinding. Like, it's taking over her mind so much that she's not making good choices. Obviously, it affected her so much that she didn't realize in the moment. that that wasn't the time or place. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
And then the fact that she's now coming back and essentially doubling down by saying, are you punishing me for being upset?
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I think she's just completely taken over by it where she's not even being rational at this point.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Well, if the mics cut out, you guys wouldn't know. And then you'd be like, oh, don't know the episode, but none of it's there. So I'll be here for quality control.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I was going to say if Lauren did that like this, then we would just take the mic after and be like, all right, everyone, let's have a party tonight and everyone give Lauren an extra hug.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I mean, there's not much, many more events she'll give a speech at also.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I mean, if it's an impromptu toast, like the tap the glass kind of thing.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
I guess when you're packed in that tight, it's like that is your seatbelt.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Lauren's earring game is always top notch. Always. Ever since I've met her.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
That's like literally saying, hey, I got the story to tell you. This one time I went to...
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213: Lost the Plot?!
It's Get Out. When does the tea come out? When's she doing the spoon around the tea? And then you fall into your mind and all of a sudden your brain's getting cut out.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
And I'm just shocked that you... Especially when you stack them all the way up.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
Let's go to the. Oh, this already premiered. Shoot. Dang, Lauren, we could have been. Did you look up Sea Org? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
213: Lost the Plot?!
But at the same time, they're under some spell that they think they're there doing this to then get something. So they're there willingly, doing the work willingly...
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Because really, do they ever end up with that gain that they're hoping for? And then when they get it, I don't know, your boy is doing some research tonight.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
I mean, the space and aliens thing does intrigue me. Not going to lie. But at the same time... But they were fiction books. I know. I'm kidding. I like, you know, I'm a physics... I'm losing you, Justin! I start floating... He's making a space joke. I start floating off. Yeah, I... I just, without knowing, because it doesn't seem like she knows very much about any of it, just like us.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
And so, yeah, it would be just very uncomfortable to... And I probably wouldn't go back. And I'd probably be reevaluating when I'm trying to ask my partner stuff and they're giving me this runaround. We all know what that's like. We've all been deflected.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Well, they're all lying. The whole family's lying. We don't know what's happening. but it's just weird. I don't know. I just wanna go into the basement. What's in the basement? Like where's the tea? Where's the surgery? Where's the operating room?
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Was Get Out based on Scientology and then switched into the brain thing? The like getting a younger body thing?
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Okay, I'll say something without seeing it. Any white is too white, okay? Why even go there? It's one day you can find something that looks just as good. Why does it have to even be borderline? Why are we, what's the point?
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I agree. We can get into the story now, but I would just say, why even be borderline? Why even put like, cause any potential?
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Right. is this okay i just for me this after seeing the picture this is not fit in the category of forgive no and like forgive but never forget it's not one of those this is a no forgive needed and should have been forgotten a long time ago why are it feels like yennefer okay i just wait Sounds like you're mispronouncing Jennifer every time.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
All I think is that she has some kind of bone to pick with her because this doesn't seem big enough to draw out. And no matter what argument comes up, this is like your first thing you're throwing back. Even if you're in the wrong, it's like, no, you were white to my wedding. Like, no, stop. No. Let's drop it. We're going to be done with that.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Otherwise, this family is going to fall apart because I can't deal with that shit.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Really, it's a partner. Like, a partner can take your closest friend, your closest sibling...
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Despite therapy or the deepest, most connected conversations you can have, sometimes that is just the answer. You'll never all mesh together as one big happy family, which is a big thing to learn in life. It extends past family, friends, everything. It's amazing to think like, oh, we can all go do this. But at some point, you got to learn that it just isn't always perfect like that.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Yeah, the sound. And you're like, don't ever make that sound again. Everyone was commenting that.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
That's exactly how it sounds. That was probably even more accurate, honestly.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Who says his name is Scoobert? The author? The original author? Just said, oh, yeah, his nickname.
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I thought I had watched a lot of Scooby-Doo when I was young, but apparently not.
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I really don't know how to explain this one or think through it. Because this isn't the norm. Usually it's a name, you know, whatever.
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I guess unless you're at like a convention and people dress up like the characters.
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In some sense, isn't that really? I don't know. I don't know either. Making up things on the spot.
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Well, sure, he may. You're already embarrassed. He may, but you'll never know for sure if that is the truth. You'll never know exactly what was going on in his brain. Ever.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
I'm still feeling the effects of that Jamba Juice. That's probably what it was.
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It's a weird nickname. And I also, like, if that's someone's little nickname, saying it in bed...
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Mine, honestly, you know what I think would be great? Just kidding. I just whip out an air horn.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
I thought you were going to say, and then things got spicy. I thought you were going to say he left and things started happening there. That's me too. Like she invited it in.
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And then she had to leave too. And then I thought it was going to be this whole PSA, like don't fuck with the spirits.
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No, there was no actual progress. Like it wasn't, you know, oh, I'm checking out this place. I'm going to this place. It's all these bigger excuses. Timing's not right. You know, the economy, this, that. There was no effort being made. Just comfortable, riding, chilling.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
I think we do that. I don't think so. I think we go home and do that. Make sure everyone's cool. Like, hey, we're not doing anything. Anything you'd like changed, we'll put up different art for you or something. We just want to be cool with you.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
You, you know what? That's between you and the audience at this point. You and Justin could go together. I don't want none of that.
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And coming this month only, if you join Patreon, Lauren, Justin, Morgan are going to make a Ouija board live and communicate live, but this month only. So make sure you go join on Patreon.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
I'm going to go first on this one. Yeah. You guys are so much more in a relevant. Okay. Well, here's my thought. I think you can only take the words. I want to marry you to have really so much weight because it's really easy to say when you love someone.
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Oh, like I'd love to marry you, blah, blah, blah. I'll propose in this. I mean, he set the time limit on himself with that comment, but you're already basically married. Like you're sharing bank accounts. You share a living space. You're basically there. There's something within guys. And it may not just be guys, but I'm just speaking from perspective.
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I think a lot of times it's super easy to say. And then, I mean, in all these stories, there's a huge holdout. Well, what's the holdout? And then I'm curious what he said before when you've brought it up, because that would change how I would advise to go at it this time and ask. But you do have some, I mean, I don't want to call it ammo, but you have a lot of receipts based on
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213: Lost the Plot?!
him setting a time limit, him making these promises. It's like, why are you dragging your feet? So are we at ultimatum time? Like, hey, do you need to go figure out yourself? Obviously, that's very scary because you put your relationship at risk. Or I mean, I guess you can sit back, but it really comes down to what you want. And if making that next step is super important to you,
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then you got to kind of find some way to sort out, are you going to do it or not? Because I don't, I can't wait forever.
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It almost kind of feels like a curse rather than like a good thing if you go through that.
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that feels like a little bit of tough love kind of liked it i think yes but i think you can also fall somewhere in the middle where she just said hey it's not a deal breaker for me yeah and if it's not then what's the issue yeah you're just well you're just kind of like what's the deal with this because if you hadn't ever brought it up and made it a point like oh i'm gonna propose to you i'm i'm gonna marry you and then it never happens you're just kind of like
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213: Lost the Plot?!
But hey, let's flip it around. Put on your mentally put on your favorite, favorite item of clothing you own.
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Especially if it's something that was passed down or you found on a random trip at a thrift shop from whatever designer, whatever. Now, someone's pet, dog, cat is probably more likely. Let's agree, everybody. To wreck your stuff. What is the correct response in course of action? Whose responsibility is it really?
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213: Lost the Plot?!
Yeah. Well, I think it's also, it's good for everyone to hear a story like this. And I'm glad it was submitted because I think a lot of us can get so wrapped up in our day to day routines and our problems that feel so huge. your bad moods, the person that cut you off this morning, all of that. And you really lose sight of what you do have.
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And I think when, you know, because we all do have an end, but you can't really see that end coming. When that end gets a lot closer, no matter if it's something like this, old age, whatever it may be, and you can see that end coming, the only thing you hope for is more time.
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All those little problems, everything else, it shows how meaningless that is and it really shows you what the important things are.
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Because you will be there. And by doing this, you'll also physically be there in some sense. Because we don't know what's after. I mean, you may not be physically present in this life that we understand. You might be standing right up there being able to see all this happen and appreciate it. But one way you can guarantee you will physically be there is if you do those. I think that's...
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I think the other beautiful thing about VR cameras is whether it's a grandparent or in this case, it's you. You can preserve you, not just in photos. Because I think that's all, you know, that's what we kind of see of our great grandparents or something.
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But it's not even just a video. It's really incredible if you've never tried it. If you take a VR, I think you can even take the VR videos with your phone now.
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Yeah. And then if you upload those, there's a special YouTube VR app. And once you put them up, you can essentially, if, if the camera was set up, right. I could be sitting, she, the daughter, could be sitting right next to him on the couch and see him in totally three-dimensional. And it's just, it's incredible. It's so much deeper than a picture or just a regular video.
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That's true. I've had cats jump at me too. Maybe I'm just traumatized from cats.
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It's crazy when you do reconnect. Oh my God. It's the, that feeling of when you actually connect with something that you for like your real life right now, you think you've forgotten. Yeah. And then you see a photo and you actually connect with that. It's, I don't know. That's like supernatural feeling.
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I definitely see your... Because if your dog bites someone, that's your fault.
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Well, I mean, she in court can say, well, he was intoxicated. He didn't know what he was doing.
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I mean, you can take someone to court for anything. Anything. Yeah, anything. Does she have a case?
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Well, and it's like, what's the value of the friendship? Is that not being factored in? Because it kind of seems like it's like, she reacted because her favorite dress got wrecked. And, you know, yeah, it might have been an overstep to just request the whole amount. But it seems like if this is a true friendship, it'd have been like, hey, I don't really want to pay that much.
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But like, let's come to some kind of compromise here versus just being like, Okay, see ya, and then she's gonna sue, and now we're just throwing it all away.
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Let Me "Clue" You In :)
He was found with nearly $15,000 in cash. He was found with a lot of Viagra on him. About 100 sleeping pills. He had camping and survival equipment, several changes of clothes, four cell phones, and two driver's licenses. If I tell the cops, he'll kill again. If I don't tell the cops, he'll kill again. And so you're just paralyzed. It could have been the whole reason they stopped.
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Let Me "Clue" You In :)
And he had this thought of... If this actually is the Golden State Killer and I walk into his house right now as a cop and say, I'm looking for the Golden State Killer, this guy's going to kill me. He actually cleaned the gun off. Cleaned it. I guess it's just not evidence, even though it's a bloody gun that looks like it was used to bludgeon someone.
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Let Me "Clue" You In :)
Like, well, maybe the other person that got bludgeoned needs help. I know this case. I just got chills with that.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Whew. Okay. This is really, really weird. This is the first time I've ever done an episode without someone sitting in a chair next to me. It feels a little goofy, but that is episode 200. I have no guests today. It is just me and you guys. If you're on our Patreon, you already know, but episode 200 is really about getting the takes from you guys.
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Well, we do have some comments from Opie, actually. Someone is very concerned that OP is not safe and needs to leave, especially if they live together. OP responds, thankfully, we have never lived together, so it will be easy to discard him from my life ASAP. Someone else says, that is seriously so fucking creepy.
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He probably made those accounts to try to get with you back when you were just friends and then just continued with a little lie after he won his prize. This is gross and unsettling. I wouldn't even want to be anywhere near him after that. OP responds, God, yeah, that tracks. Looking back, they did hype him up an awful lot. Bruh. Okay. Well, we have an update.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
This is posted the same day as the original post, December 30th, 2024, so just a couple weeks ago. It was an hour after. I honestly have the biggest migraine of my life, and I haven't slept at all. Nothing similar to this has ever happened to me before, but my life has been crazy enough to where I wasn't able to prepare for the huge reaction something like this gets.
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I knew it was bizarre, but I didn't know it would jump to the top of everything." I assumed it would collect some advice or opinions I could read and then post would get lost into the void, like how it goes with the majority of my others, but I sincerely appreciate every bit of support. Unfortunately, I'm also being bombarded with hate and nasty messages, and my headache keeps getting worse.
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So I need to get off Reddit today, but I don't want to just ghost and make people think something horrible happened, because I'm taking the steps to make sure nothing does. He does have my address, but I live with my family in an apartment building that needs a key fob to get in, so I have at least those two layers of safety for now.
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But for some reason, I doubt that, at least today, there will be any attempts at a personal confrontation. And even then, I am confident I will be able to remain safe as far away as possible in the case he does come around. I have alerted some of my real friends of the situation as well, and they will be close to me as much as they can.
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So please do not worry when I'm not active for the rest of today. I'm just getting nauseous from my headache and I don't want to start the day feeling like this. This is another little update. Same day, 11 hours later instead.
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I still see people concerned for my safety, so even though I'm taking a break for today, I just want to share that I have received no communication from him today and ended up going on a hike with a friend and then out to dinner and drinks and had a nice time. I'm home with my family now, and hopefully the rest of the night is uneventful.
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So that is the last update we have on the best of Redditor updates. I'm going to go to the account, see if we can find anything else. But that was it on Boru. And Boru is pretty good about maintaining. So we do have comments from 17 days ago. A lot of people were accusing OP of making this up or making it up for attention.
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OP responds, if I wanted to make up a story for attention, I would probably at least make it well-written. Please stop harassing me and making my day worse than it already is. You have been also harassing me in my messages. Why are you so obsessed with me? I'm sorry.
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Like I said before, came from some boring mayonnaise life where nothing ever happens, but believe it or not, shit happens to people sometimes, even if you can't comprehend it. So OP has been posting on other subreddits, r slash anxiety, r slash college, but I'm not seeing any other comments about this issue. Most recent comment from OP was on r slash chat GPT and it was 17 hours old.
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So OP, I'm gonna need you to update. I'm a little concerned, but what do you guys think of this and the fact there isn't another update?
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Okay, on to the next one. This one is coming from r slash aith, 12 hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for refusing to demote my dog after my sister gave her baby the same name? I, 26 female, have a dog named Charlie. Charlie is a golden retriever I adopted four years ago, and he's my best buddy. My sister, Emily, 29 female, recently had her first child, a baby boy.
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She and her husband named him... Charlie. At first, I thought it was funny and didn't really think much of it. But then Emily pulled me aside during a family gathering and said it was confusing and disrespectful for me to keep calling my dog Charlie now that her son has the same name. She asked me to rename my dog. I told her no. Charlie has had his name for four years.
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Okay, how crazy do we want to get off the jump? One to 10. We thinking a seven or a 10? Okay, okay, I hear you. Let's get into this first one. So this one is coming from r slash am I overreacting? It is titled, am I overreacting after I found out my boyfriend's online friend group I became a part of two years ago has been just him the whole time?
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He knows it, responds to it, and it's on all of his paperwork. Changing it would be weird for him and for me. She got really upset and said it's not fair for her son to share a name with a dog, especially in family settings. She thinks it'll lead to jokes and confusion as her son grows up.
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My parents have weighed in, and while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me to change my dog's name, my mom says I should just consider it to keep the peace. Now Emily is barely speaking to me, and a few family members think I'm being stubborn. I have no idea how I'm in the wrong here. The world's gone crazy. I love my dog and I didn't name him to spite anyone.
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I also think it's not my fault they chose a name already in use in the family. So am I the asshole? Come on. Come on. Charlie already had his name. Technically, she named that baby after a dog. Right? That's weird. But let's hear your takes.
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I guess I should have been less obvious, but since a little before we started dating in 2022, I was added to my boyfriend's, just friend at the time, three-person Instagram group chat with what he explained were some of his closest online friends.
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What's the point of peace on a trivial thing? OK, so the top comment on this one. There was a post years ago about a guy who had a cat named Nigel and his sister or roommate started dating someone named Nigel. So they called the cat cat Nigel and the guy human Nigel. Next comment down. My husband's uncle has the same name as our cat. Cat came with the name.
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The two other accounts seemed like real people because they had real followers and comments on their posts and drastically different aesthetics slash looks to them. We eventually made a Discord server for us, and that alone was convincing enough, since multiple times we'd all be active at the same time. We never voice chatted, but I used to never voice chat either, so I didn't think twice.
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No one has been confused when I talk about either of them. Next comment down, goddammit, uncle slash cat name shit on the floor. This next comment has a big gold box. This actually happened to me when my dog, Jenny, who wasn't feeling well, crapped on the floor while my friend Jenny was over. Me yelling, mom, Jenny just shit on the floor. Mom yelling back, why on earth would she do that?
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Hilarity ensued. I also think this is just like not something that's that serious. I actually don't know how I didn't think of this sooner, but Justin's grandpa got a puppy a couple years ago and it came with the name Penny. Guess what his mom's name is? Penny. Yeah. She turns 100 this May.
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But it's like, if that's not a big deal for him, having a dog that has the same name as his mom, and this sister knowingly named the kid after her sister's dog, I mean, come on. Before we move on, there is one comment that OP responds to. Someone goes, suggest that she changes her son's name to Spot or Rover. Next comment, adopt a second dog. Name it Emily. Next comment down, complete the set.
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Get a guinea pig and name it after a brother-in-law for the plot. Then ask mom to change Emily's name to keep the peace. Or just call the dog Baby Charlie for extra fun and confusion. So OP responds to one of the comments somewhere in this thread and goes, Buddy can also do. But okay, moving on to the next one. One of this week's partners is Rocket Money.
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How many of you have signed up for something for a free trial and then forgotten to cancel before it ends? Me. And how many of you are probably still paying for things that you've signed up for and just forgotten about? I know I was until I started using Rocket Money. Rocket Money actually helped me figure out that I was paying for this same streaming service twice.
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And they can help you make sure you're not wasting any money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can actually grow your savings. I also love that Rocket Money will negotiate your bills for you.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So no more calling your providers and asking for retention offers and putting in all this work. Rocket Money takes care of it. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. This is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It is six days old and titled, Am I the asshole for refusing to let my brother-in-law name his baby after my late husband?
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I, 33 female, lost my husband Mark three years ago in a car accident. It was devastating. And while I've worked hard to rebuild my life, my grief is still there. Mark and I didn't have kids, but he always wanted to be a father. And his name holds a lot of sentimental value for me. My sister-in-law, 36 female, is married to Mark's brother, Ethan, 38 male.
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They're expecting their first child, and recently, they've told me they want to name their son Mark to honor him. While I understand the sentiment, I immediately felt uneasy. Mark's name is deeply personal to me, and the idea of someone else in the family using it feels...wrong. I gently told Ethan and my sister-in-law that I wasn't comfortable with the idea.
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I suggested they use Mark's name as a middle name or consider something else entirely, but they were upset and said it wasn't fair for me to claim the name when it's a part of their family too. Ethan even said that this would help keep Mark's memory alive, especially since they were so close.
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The group got closer, though, as more and more time passed since I was first added to their group chat. And last month, we got together and planned a research trip to Hawaii for August. We live on the East Coast of the US. Like, we booked everything.
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The argument escalated when I pointed out that if I ever had a child, I might want to name them after Mark, and it would feel strange if there was already another Mark in the family. Ethan said that's a hypothetical situation and accused me of being selfish for gatekeeping a name as if it were only mine to use. Now the family is divided.
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Some think I'm overreacting and should let them honor Mark however they want. Others say it's my right to set that boundary given how close I was to him. So am I the asshole for saying no to them naming their baby after my late husband?
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So imagine my surprise when I'm over at his house tonight and his computer is open and I just want to log into my Google Docs when I accidentally stumble across, first of all, follower bot sites and also him logged in and chatting with me as one of the individuals I thought I'd become close with. And I just got this sinking feeling. I didn't jump to the idea that they could be fake.
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Top comment on this one. I am so sorry for your loss. Respectfully, you are overstepping here. Mark was not only your husband, he was a son, a brother, a friend, and likely so much more. He had a role in so many lives, and each of those lives has the right to grieve and remember him in their own way. If you do adopt, I hope you use whatever name you feel is right.
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I was like, maybe he just has their login since they're all so close and is way too interested in their messages. But then I noticed their only chats were the group chats and the server. And the real kicker was the email address it was signed up under was his backup email with his full name. I quite literally snooped until he got out of the shower and caught me.
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Adoption is an indescribable blessing. I am an adoptive mom. Let them live their lives how they see fit. Because you almost never see them, any choice they make will only be as big as you allow it to be in your own life. I mean, solid point. For me hearing this, I feel very... Because I understand like where OP is coming from and I can't even imagine dealing with that loss.
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But having like your partner's name kind of taken, that option taken from you, I would be really distraught. I do appreciate the fact that the brother-in-law and sister-in-law are coming to her first and like having this conversation. And at the end of the day, it kind of is their choice. Like that was his brother. But it's a tough one. And you want to be sensitive.
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But, but we do have an edit and get a little bit more information. Edit. I'm adding an edit here, although it's only been a little bit since I posted, to add some info that could be important. Apologies, I didn't include it before. But thank you, everyone, for your insights. It's given me a lot to think about.
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First, Mark and Ethan have been almost zero contact since Mark turned 23 for a much longer reason. They've only spoken a few times since then, at Ethan's wedding, our wedding, and most recently, about a year before his death at a funeral. Ethan and his wife didn't attend Mark's funeral, giving no reason about why. But the rest of the family dismissed it, and I'm still not sure why.
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They didn't even send so much as a card. I only found out that they were expecting and intending to use the name at a family holiday party that I go to every year. which they attended for the first time. Apparently, every single person at that party, and it wasn't a small one, had known about the pregnancy, but not their plans for the name.
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At the party, Ethan and his wife, never been very chummy with her, announced their intent for the baby's name. So I asked them about it later, and that is where the argument began. The thing that set me off was that Ethan said he wanted to use Mark's name since they were so close in childhood. but hasn't spoken more than a few words in ages.
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So I mainly feel that he has no right to use the name because of his relationship with Mark before he passed, and the apathy to me when he did die. Secondly, adoption was always the plan for Mark and me, and we were in the process of figuring out the steps to adopt in our area around the time he passed.
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As an adopted child, I would have it no other way, and I'm also infertile, so this was pretty much the only route I've been able to take. At this moment, since I've gotten back on my feet after the loss, I've been considering adopting as a single mom because fortunately, I do have the means and the support system, mainly my side of the family and some friends, to raise a child alone.
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As of right now, I'm not sure if I'll ever remarry, but chances are I will adopt before I do. Adopting a child and naming him after the man I'd always planned to adopt with seems like the best way to honor him and keep his memory alive. Thank you everyone for your comments and so sorry if there's a long edit with quite a few spelling errors.
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You guys, why didn't OP include that context at the beginning? For me, totally changes things. Totally changes things. But I want to hear from you first.
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which I'm not saying was right of me, but I couldn't help myself. During my snooping, I gradually became devastatingly confident that he was behind not just one, but both accounts. I've never seen his face so red, and he just absolutely panicked and started shouting at me to get out of his business. I couldn't even form the right words to say to him.
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Now, for me, I feel like this totally changes it. And Ethan naming his child after his brother that has passed feels so performative. He didn't go to his brother's funeral. He didn't go to his brother's funeral. Come on, Ethan. Didn't send a card. I mean, if you didn't go to your brother's funeral, I don't think you should be naming your child after your brother. Just me. Just me.
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Some of you might disagree. If you do, please tell me why. But this feels very performative and it doesn't feel genuine. I mean... granted okay they were close as kids and whatever reasons they stopped being close but you weren't close when he passed and you didn't go to his funeral so no I think regardless, if OP adopts and has to pick a name, I think OP should still go with Mark.
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In the end, I just walked out of his apartment sobbing. It's very early in the morning. I get that. But this screenshot is what he has to say, and I'm starting to feel crazy. Am I overreacting about my discovery? Okay, are we ready for the screenshot? Or do we want to get into it first? Get in screenshot? Okay, okay, okay. I hear you. I hear you. Okay, so it's a screenshot.
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I think that even if there's two Marks in the family, whatever, you have the closer proximity to Mark, I think, at this point. So just go with it. Don't let someone else squash it for you. I think names are so deeply personal and it doesn't matter if Ethan and his wife decide to use it. You're going to have more meaning. You're going to be able to tell this story to your adoptive child. But
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But adoption can happen in so many other ways. Like OP might not even get the opportunity to name a child. So I think it'll be interesting to see how this plays out. But I wouldn't let Ethan ruin this for me. Mm-mm. Okay, I'm going to peek and see if there's any other comments from OP since this. None. No comments from OP after the edit. So, and before the edit.
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No comments from OP, just so you guys know. But I'm very curious how this one plays out. It's only six days old, so we might get another update on this one. Okay, on to the next one. Another one of this week's partners is LiveGood. We all take supplements, but there are so many nowadays. And some of them are charging the most ridiculous prices.
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So it's hard to know which ones to trust, which ones are good, which ones are going to actually get you the daily amount you need and not cost you an arm and a leg. That is where LiveGood comes in. It's a brand that's turning the supplement industry on its head. LiveGood believes that everyone deserves access to high quality supplements without insane markups.
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I recently got my hands on a magnesium supplement and a new multivitamin because I know I am lacking. I would go to sleep at night with my legs just feeling restless and not sleeping very well. That has totally changed for me. But Live Good has anything you could be looking for.
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Organic super greens, multivitamins, collagen, protein powder, creatine, hormone products, skincare, all highest quality. So are you ready to make the switch and start saving? We'll make it even easier for you. Use our link and you can save an additional 10% off your first order on top of the already lowest prices. Just go to livegood.com slash THT to save 10% on your first order.
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That's livegood.com slash THT. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your health without overspending. This is coming from AITAH. It is a month old at this point. Titled, am I the asshole for breaking up with my girlfriend because of a caught cheating prank? I, 26 male, broke up with my girlfriend, 25 female, of two years because of something that happened recently.
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And now my friends are saying I massively overreacted. So a few days ago, my girlfriend and a close mutual friend decided to play a prank on me. The prank was that they filmed a scenario where I caught them in bed together, pretending they were hooking up.
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They set up a hidden camera in the bedroom, and when I walked in, I saw him in just boxers and my girlfriend in a bra and panties straddling him, acting like they were mid-hookup. To make it more realistic, they even made some noises and tried to act like it was happening for real. I was shocked, furious, and immediately confronted them as I thought it was real at first, like an actual betrayal.
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And then I walked out of the room and started leaving the house. When they followed me screaming, it was just a prank and then showed me the video they had been recording. To be honest, I felt completely betrayed, not just by the idea of the prank, but also because of how they had gotten undressed to film it.
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I know it's meant to be funny to some people, but for me, it felt disrespectful and I was hurt. The whole thing felt like a violation of trust, even though I know they weren't actually cheating. I told her I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who would do something like that and I ended things right there. She's devastated and our friends have been telling me I overreacted.
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They think it was just a harmless prank and I should have taken it better. But I can't shake the feeling that it crossed a line for me, especially with how intimate and uncomfortable it felt to see them in that situation, even if it wasn't real. Now I'm left wondering if I made the right decision. I'm starting to doubt myself because everyone else seems to think I blew it up out of proportion.
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Blue text at the top is her. I just want to know why. When it finally came time for the Hawaii trip, how were you going to explain that? What were you thinking? He replies... You know something I've noticed about you? You can never just be calm, and there always has to be an issue.
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The amount of people I meet at live shows that tell me they pause the story after I'm done reading and then give their takes or talk to their friend or their partner. It gave me the idea of starting to do fan cam reactions. You guys are really the whole reason this show exists, truly.
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I know you were raised in a volatile environment and still have to relearn a lot about healthy relationship dynamics, but it's like you thrive on chaos only. And we were going to see Wicked tonight. I guess there goes that. Okay. So our writer responds back to his messages. You can't be serious. I deserve answers. I'm honestly so creeped out.
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Okay. That doesn't feel like just a prank to anyone, right? Like it feels like they were setting it up so that if they did get caught down the line, they could be like, oh, it was just a prank. Who thinks of that? Also, who wants to even be that close to their partner's friend? I can't even imagine ever, ever, ever, ever like getting undressed and straddling someone that's not Justin.
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Like the thought of that honestly repulses me. So to even set this up as a prank and record it and strip down into underwear, panties, bra, like I'm perplexed. Top comment on this one though. OP responds to that one. Yep, I told her that. She says she wanted to try something new and unexpected and didn't think I would feel so strongly about it. Someone responds after that.
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But she should be trying something new and unexpected with you and not the friend. Yep. The fact that she didn't know you'd feel so strongly about it means either she doesn't really know you or she doesn't care about your feelings. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how you would expect that to end well. To make it seem so real...
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Also, what happens if OP would have forgotten something in the car and would have gone back outside or not walked into the room right away? Would they have just kept going for the plot? Well, guys, we do have an edit from OP. Edit, I did not expect this many responses. Thank you guys. She posted here earlier and sent me a link to her post.
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I know she wants me to watch the video to prove it was all set up and planned, but I feel like she still doesn't get that I'm upset about her disregard and disregard for me and our relationship. Anyways, I'm going to sign off for the night. Well, I guess we got to go find that other post. Her version. I didn't know it existed until just now. Let's see if we can find the other side. Okay.
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We got the girlfriend's post. Has been deleted. Coming from AITH. I think my boyfriend is overreacting for breaking up with me over my caught cheating prank. Am I the asshole? My boyfriend posted here a few hours ago and shared the link with me to show me what people thought about what I did and that he is not overreacting.
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I thought I'd come on here and give my version of events for a more nuanced take. I play into the cheating prank with our close mutual friend several days ago. We were hanging out and scrolling through TikTok videos and came across prank shorts between couples.
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We went down the rabbit hole and ended up watching YouTube videos of cheating pranks, and I mentioned it would be funny to try a cheating prank on my boyfriend to find out what his reaction would be. He said he would do one with me, and I agreed because it was someone my boyfriend liked and trusted, so I thought it would be harmless.
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Basically half of my life for the past two years has been a complete and total lie and you were behind all of it. He responds, okay, don't be dramatic. You know, this isn't a big deal. You're just giddy to harp on this and make a bigger issue. I am so flabbergasted. I can't believe he's actually trying to gaslight her this hard. But okay, let me hear your takes first.
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It started out as a hypothetical plan, but over the course of the conversation, and while hash no details, it turned into a real plan, and we agreed to the day we would do it when my boyfriend would be out and come back home and find us together. We set up a camera and filmed ourselves talking about the prank and set it up on top of the dresser in the bedroom and got into position.
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We were laughing throughout, and it is all on video. To make it believable, I told him to take off his shirt. He said I should probably do the same, so we did. Then he thought it would be even more believable and provide that shock factor if we also took off our pants. In hindsight, this was a terrible idea, but I agreed to it You know how the rest of the story went from his post.
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But what he didn't mention is that he refused to watch the video I recorded showing that it was a planned prank, that we only took off our clothes and got into sex position when we knew he was home. I understand that this prank was extra and hurtful to him and for that I am sorry, but I am not cheating on him and I did not mean to disrespect our relationship.
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I thought him breaking up with me is a massive overreaction because other than this incident, which I now massively regret, our relationship was great. We shared two wonderful years together and moved in together over the summer. I plan on deleting the video and won't be sharing it on social media but I will share with him first for proof of my intentions. What would you do?
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What's to say they didn't record that video after he ran out I don't know if you could ever get the trust back with this person. And therefore, the reason feels over. But I don't know. Would you guys forgive your partner? Would you watch the video and make sure it's legit and then forgive them? Would you be able to do that? I don't know. I need to hear what you guys would do.
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So going back on OP's post, a little bit of an update. My ex-girlfriend was really upset with all the hate she received online and blamed me for painting her in a bad light. I told her I did no such thing. She just didn't like that she got called out on her behavior. The mutual friend who was a part of the prank is now also pissed off at me and saying I went way overboard.
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I told them both to fuck off and have blocked their numbers. Our friends have since started taking this more seriously after reading some of the comments on here, with a few taking my side and saying what my girlfriend and the friend did was horrible. Others still think this was all unnecessary, and I should have just laughed it off and moved on. And I don't agree with that.
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I think this is something that's very traumatic to walk in on. It would really damage me and how I saw those people I loved and trusted. So this doesn't feel like an overreaction. And he's entitled to his feelings. If he can't trust her, if he is hurt, doesn't want to be with her anymore, that's fair. You can't force someone to be in a relationship with you.
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And I feel like these friends would be saying a different tune if this happened to them. Okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Talkspace. Maybe it's just me, but things have felt really crazy lately and I'm getting back into therapy. But I know it can seem challenging and you might think it's unaffordable. That is where Talkspace comes in.
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Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider that makes getting the help you need easy, accessible, and affordable. I know before I tried therapy, I thought the price was super intimidating, but most of Talkspace therapy and psychiatry is covered by many insurances and employers.
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Most insured members actually have a $0 copay, and you can easily sign up online and get paired with a licensed provider, and you can switch at any time, no additional cost. I've loved online therapy in the past. I've loved how convenient it is. I can take my sessions from anywhere, car, bed, a park.
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So if you're ready to try it for yourself, as a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80 to get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Talkspace.com slash THT.
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Promo code SPACE80. Okay, this next one, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Getting Engaged After My Brother's Wedding? My brother and his now wife got married three days ago, a very small destination ceremony, under 15 people total.
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My now fiance and I extended our trip after everyone went home and spent a couple of days exploring the Grand Canyon, a couple hours north of the wedding, where he proposed. When I shared the news with my brother and now sister-in-law, he responded with hostility, saying that it looked like we were competing.
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I apologized, quickly realizing that he was advocating for my sister-in-law and that she felt hurt, although I'm truly failing to understand why. I also texted her a separate apology and explained that it was not our intention to encroach and just wanted to share the news with family and that it's my belief that there's room for happiness for everyone. She did not respond.
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In response to my apology, my brother doubled down and said the timing and location were hurtful and that we shouldn't have planned around the wedding. Am I the asshole here?
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Okay. I'm imagining what you guys would say. This could go two ways. You guys could say, hey, you know, it was only a day or two after their wedding. Similar location. Could have been a little more respectful. Or you're saying it was days after the wedding, hours north of where they had their ceremony. This is fine. I'm trying to guess what you guys are thinking. Me?
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I am in the boat of, it was hours north of their wedding in the Grand Canyon where a lot of people get engaged all the time. It wasn't like they got engaged at their reception. Like we had those stories in the past, right? This feels so different. So I'm fine with this. I think the sister-in-law will get over it eventually.
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Maybe she's still kind of being that bridezilla in a sense, a little entitled. But I think after your wedding is done, and as long as it's not at your wedding, I think it's fair game. I wouldn't be pissed if I had my wedding this September and someone got engaged up on the North Shore when they extended their trip after. that would not bother me at all.
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I would actually find that really, really cool. Like my love inspired you and your love. Okay. I dig that. So I don't know. This is giving weird possessive for no reason, but okay. Let's read the top comment and see what, what that says. Top comment, not the asshole.
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And I can see you're trying valiantly to understand, but I'm not sure your brother or his wife will be able to give you a good reason for their reaction because their reaction is wild. Sure, it's rude to propose at someone else's wedding, but that's not what happened. The fact that you and your fiance got engaged a few days after their wedding before you flew home is a totally different thing.
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Also, the level of hostility in that message from your brother is nasty and definitely not normal. I'm so sorry that he treats you like that. Next comment down. Which has a big yellow box, but a lot of downvotes. Over 5,000 downvotes. So let's get into it. It sounds like it was the day after and I don't know.
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If I was on the first day of my honeymoon and instead of fully enjoying my new newlywed bubble, my sibling texted me not to tell me they hope I'm enjoying my honeymoon or congratulations on my marriage, but that they're engaged and instead of them congratulating me on my marriage, they're trying to get me to congratulate them on their engagement.
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I don't know that it'd be the most thrilled in the world, but also I don't have a good relationship with my siblings and that would inform how I felt about it. I don't think reaching out to someone who is that freshly married to tell them your good news is the most tactful thing in the world. At least wait a few days so they can have their newlywed bubble for a bit. Hmm.
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That kind of goes back into option A, I said. And I'm curious. I'm curious if a lot of you agree, even if this was downvoted so much. If you agree, please tell me now. Comment after it, though. That was an unfortunate time for the sub to go down. You may have piped the record for most downvotes I've ever seen on this sub. You think people would have stopped around negative 100.
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Your comment wasn't even that controversial, even if people did disagree with it. Someone does quote what that comment said, though, about if I was on the first day of my honeymoon and instead of fully enjoying it, my sibling texted me, blah, blah, blah, blah. They go, I would be ecstatic for them. What the hell? Last one I'll read with 13K upvotes. Not the asshole.
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Your brother needs to calm down. The bride gets a day, her one wedding day. She does not get a location, a week, or anything else. She gets her wedding. That is all. You did not encroach. Well, guys. We have no comments from OP. But OP, this is a real account. I mean, this person has been active on Reddit for years. The first thing I see on this account, I'm scrolling. Hold on, let me get there.
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I am not going to cry off the jump, but I am just so grateful for each and every one of you listening and watching and sharing this show. And I really wanted to highlight your takes, really hear you guys this episode, because there wouldn't have been more than five, for sure, 10 episodes if you guys didn't start chiming in. This community has turned into something so, so special.
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I'm scrolling. First thing on this account is from over 13 years ago. It is a picture of a McDonald's order on the subreddit r slash what the fuck. My friend orders a plain double cheeseburger and gets this instead. And it literally is the bun and a slice of cheese. I think they misunderstood the assignment, but hilarious. So this is a real account.
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I would not be surprised if OP gives an update eventually because of how active they have been on Reddit for over a decade. But as of right now, we got nothing. Nothing. But on that note, congratulations, OP. Don't let this take the wind out of your sails, you know? Don't let it steal your thunder. This is really exciting.
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And your brother and sister-in-law will get over it eventually and hopefully will feel as silly as they should. But moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Shopify. Cha-ching! Is there a business or maybe a product that you have this idea for, but you've been putting it off? Stop. Now is the time to get started. I talked about starting my podcast for a year before it ever happened.
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Just think of what I could have done in that time. Well, the best time to start might have been yesterday. Next best time is today. And Shopify could be how you do it. Shopify makes it simple to create your brand open for business and get your first sale. They have thousands of customizable templates, so no coding or design skills required. All you need to do is drag and drop.
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So what's holding you back? No regrets this year. No wondering what if the time is now. Cha-ching! With Shopify, your first sale is closer than you think. Established in 2025 has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash THT. All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash THT to start selling with Shopify today. Shopify.com slash THT. Cha-ching!
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Okay, buckle up for this next one. I think there are going to be a lot of you with hot takes on it. So this is coming from r slash true off my chest, 19 hours old, titled, My friend wants me to help him get a vasectomy against his wife's wishes. I understand this sounds bad, but please reserve judgment until you've read the post.
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My friend, let's call him Adam, 24 male, got his wife pregnant when they were on their second date. They rushed to get married before the kid was born because their families are religious, deep south, and in under three years, she has had two more kids. The problem is serious birth control failures, so much so he doesn't trust her on the matter anymore.
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She was supposedly on the implant when kid one was conceived and on the pill with two and three. She refuses any type of sterilization because she might want more, but he is struggling on all fronts and can't afford the kids he has now. He had to drop out of school and works a chemical factory job to keep the lights on.
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He has expressed his desire for this ever since the third kid, and she won't budge. He even pushed the my body, my choice argument only for her to say men don't get that choice. And he's pretty upset about her always getting her way and making his life hell if she doesn't.
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His work would pay for it entirely free because they work with chemical and it increases the odds of birth defects thousands fold. So he doesn't have to worry about the money it'll cost. He's setting up the date and wants me to drive him there and back. And he's going to tell her when it's already done. I'm hesitant to be involved in this, but I think it's the right thing to do.
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He asked me to research into it to make sure he won't get in any trouble and he doesn't need her permission on any front in our state. Just like she doesn't need his permission to stop birth control without telling him. I think he should just tell her he is doing it and she can deal with it, but he doesn't want to fight about it anymore.
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I've agreed to drive him, and it's not for a few months anyways, but I'm already getting second thoughts. I can't really even tell mutual friends in case he gets back to his wife. Weird secret to keep. That's it. That's how they end the post on us. Weird secret to keep. No, what do I do? Nothing.
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Like, come on. I think we can all recognize how bad this is, right? This is very deceptive, coercive. You know, it's really hard when people, especially people you should be able to inherently trust, like your wife, tell you they're on birth control or have an implant and then it fails. Like on her end, if she is knowingly removing that birth control, that is sexual assault.
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On his end, I don't know what more he can do besides watch her take a pill every day. But I mean, that's crazy. You shouldn't have to do that. And if he doesn't trust his partner at this point, he needs to leave her because this is feeling like abuse to me. This is intense, very intense. And I completely disagree with her saying men do not get to use the my body, my choice.
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He absolutely, without a doubt in my mind, has the right to get a vasectomy. That is craziness if she feels that she can dictate what he does with his body. Vasectomies are also reversible. reversible. And her body has proven that birth control doesn't work. You know, if she's truthful and has been on it, birth control and her just don't click. I don't know. It doesn't work.
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They've got three kids at 24 years old to prove it. So let him get the vasectomy. This might be the safest birth control method for you guys. And you have three kids and you definitely should not have any more if you cannot afford them. That's a hot take. right there. But okay, you've had your initial reaction. Do we have any more thoughts on this one?
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Your friend is in an abusive relationship. Okay, so I wasn't far off saying that. And his partner is using reproductive coercion to have more kids. If he was my friend, I'd be encouraging him to leave her. But at the very least, someone should help him get that vasectomy. Yeah. I know it can feel wrong to like lie and help someone lie to their partner.
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But I think in this case, the lie feels very necessary. And I do think he needs to get control over his autonomy again and his body. Bottom line with this story, these circumstances, he definitely needs to get the vasectomy. But other than that, moving on to our last story. This one is coming from r slash relationship advice.
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It is seven days old, titled my 29 male boyfriend wants me 28 female to do housewife duties when we both work full time. How do I explain why this isn't fair? We are not engaged yet and no kids. He makes triple what I make in income, so he decided he would pay the total rent and I would cover utilities and groceries.
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We both work full-time and he sometimes works some overtime, but I still work 40 hours a week. He thinks because he pays all of the rent that I have to do all of the cleaning in the house, including picking up his messes because, quote, it's your job as a woman to be proud of a clean house.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So when I get home from work or have a big day off, he expects me to do all of the cleaning where when he comes home, he can sit and watch TV. I can't afford to go 50-50 on the rent with my current income and he doesn't want to do income-based bills. But I really don't think it's fair even if he pays the rent because I feel like we both deserve rest time and free time and I'm not a maid.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
But when I try to bring it up, he says, then we can just go 50-50. I'd have to find a second job to afford that. What do I do? How many of you are screaming right now? Just pulling out hair? What do we think on this one, guys? Is there a way to explain and articulate why it's not fair with someone like this? Or do you just cut your losses and run? Let me hear it.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
You got to run, right? Everyone said run. Run. Because this is crazy. He's making triple her income. And he thinks this is fair. I mean, he clearly knows she can't afford 50-50. So it's a trap. It's a trick. And why would you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you? I mean, the quote, it's your job as a woman to be proud of a clean house. So you're with someone who's sexist.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
He doesn't want to see you win as a team. He'd rather use this as manipulative or manipulation and a motive to get you to keep cleaning and being a maid versus having an equitable, fair, healthy life This is not your person. You need to break up. Need to. But let's see what the top comment said. Top comment.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So it sucks to find out you're incompatible after moving in together, but at least you're not married with kids. You can move back out. You're right that it's not fair, but don't waste your time explaining the basics of fairness to a grown man. He's not a time traveler from the 19th century. He's aware of how modern relationships work. He just doesn't want one.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
You could tell him that if he wants a trad wife, you'll quit your job, but I don't think you'd be happy with that life either. Yes, that, all of that. Next comment down, this. It isn't going to get better. He's showing his true colors. This is a value difference, which cannot be changed.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Don't have kids with someone who will expect you to either stay home and do all of the cleaning, household management, or work, childcare, and all of the cleaning and managing. Choosing a life partner, someone to literally choose to spend your life alongside and in tandem with is a big-ass deal. Having kids with them is an even bigger deal. Don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
A long relationship isn't necessarily a good one. You're young. You've got time. Do some soul searching and maybe therapy if that's a tool you can afford to figure out your own values so that going forward, you can more easily and quickly eliminate people whose values don't line up with yours. Late 20s are a weird time.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Give yourself some grace and really make sure you're doing what you want and not what you think is expected of you. You've only got one short life. Don't spend it in service of things that don't serve you. Love and hugs, friend. Holy shit, was that comment amazing. But I'm sure all of yours are going to be really good after hearing those. So come at me.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Give me your final thoughts on this one, okay? Okay, that is all I have, my friends. I I appreciate you guys so much. I don't have the words to say thank you for what you guys have done for me and my life, my family's life, my co-host's life. Everyone's life has changed. And I love this community so much. It has really become such a safe, fun, happy, crazy place. And I'm just, I'm blown away.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So thank you for being here. And I'm really excited for this episode to come together and see what everyone else on the other side thinks of it and all of our takes. Don't be scared. Put your thoughts out there. Okay, let's see how this one goes. Thanks, guys.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Let's get into the top comments, shall we? Top comment on this one. Yeah, this is... Not okay. I'm blown away that this is actually real because what? How could someone do that to you? Your partner of all people. And like, was he ever planning on telling you or just letting it ride out? What does he gain from this?
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
So many things running through my mind, but the most disgusting factor is how he responded to it and honestly sounds so manipulative and like he's deflecting instead of owning up to his actions. I'm sorry you're going through this. Next comment after that, letting it ride out. I mean, what was the end game here? I can't even begin to figure that out.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Like night of the rehearsal dinner, hey babe, about my groomsmen, they were driving here and all died in a freak accident involving a flock of geese. It's killing me. Oh well, show must go on. Which, good points, good points. This next comment has a big yellow box. The why is my biggest question here. Pathological liars, though. There's typically no real slash logical reason.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Next comment down, also yellow box, 4K upvotes. I just want to point out that this level of premeditated and targeted manipulation complete with textbook example of gaslighting when discovered by the target is an extremely concerning behavior. If this is indeed real, then OP should be very concerned for her own safety and put as much distance as possible between themselves and this individual.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Yeah, very concerning. Comments really go on too. Someone goes, it immediately made me wonder if it's a tactic to cut her off from everyone in her life while maintaining the illusion that she has her friends still. I'm baffled. Like, I'm honestly, it is so scary.
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200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Like, I cannot even imagine having two years of friends, people you've told things to, confided in, grown to love, are just fake and created by your partner. Do you have any hunches on why he was actually doing this? Or do we just genuinely think he was ill?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. As you guys know, wedding coming up and I want my teeth to be white. So I was super happy when I went to the dentist the other day, looked at my pictures from six months ago, and my teeth are noticeably whiter. And that's thanks to Colgate Optic White.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know because he didn't he didn't even tell you, girl, you overheard. And you overheard. Oh, my gosh. From the mom. From the mom. Like she's brazen.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Horrible. Insane. Hopefully we get an update. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled on that one. I want one. Even if you text me when you get it. Just posted. Yeah. I literally read a story last night. This is probably the worst one I've read in years. This mom sent her son a link to her OnlyFans with nudes. Yeah. I recorded it last night for today's episode. I was up till 3am.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Not a good, not, I'm a little crazy today. Yeah. But I recorded it last night at like 10pm, went home, edited it, woke up this morning and someone literally goes, she just posted another update 10 hours ago. I just missed it.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm learning new info that I hadn't.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So these updates, they come in real time. Yeah, so you have to be checking all the time. You gotta be checking. Maybe she'll see this story on TikTok and she'll be like, what did they say? This is my update. What'd they say? Yeah. Yeah. This next one, I also am going to need an update for. Okay.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's coming from AITAH, four days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Having Good Answers for My Newly Discovered Adult Kids? In October of last year, I learned I had fathered two kids when I was a teenager. DNA confirmed this in December of last year. I had no idea I had other kids, other than the kids I'm raising with my wife out there.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Their mother I met when I was 15 and she was 16 and again when I was 17 and she was 18. She was visiting my friend's family for a month both those summers, and we hooked up. I used condoms every time, but I clearly fucked it up somewhere. She didn't tell me anything about having a kid when she came back that following summer. Neither did my friend.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
My friend only found out she had kids a few years ago. When my adult kids found me, they had come after a long search. They DNA tested a few other guys, and it took years for their mom to tell them about me. When they reached out to me, they told me they had a lot of questions, and I didn't have good answers for them. Not before or after the DNA test.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
All I could ever tell them was I had no idea they ever existed. They didn't believe me. They told me there was no way I knocked their mom up twice and didn't know either time. I explained everything to them. How she was someone I only met that first summer and how I didn't speak to her in between both summers. I told them I heard nothing from her after she left that second time.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
They pushed me to know more. They had questions about why I didn't save for them, write to them, fight for them. They refuse to accept that I didn't know, and they're mad at me for a lack of good answers. They told me I needed to do better for them. Am I the asshole? That is so complicated.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
OK. Because mom finally came clean. Yeah. Like, I don't maybe she didn't even know.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Like I know I'm so happy with how it's going. I know everyone on the first episode, too, was like commenting where they were coming from. And we have such a good mix of listeners. And we're still working on a name for the people that join us over on Clues.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. And it's hard. It's clear that like these kids, which we never get an age for, but like the title says adult kids. So I'm assuming at least over 18. Yeah. But it's clear they have a lot of hurt in whatever they went through, too. Yeah. And. Their mom, it took years for their mom to even come clean and tell them that, oh, this other guy kind of exists.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So it's like they're just kind of grappling with those big feelings and the pain and whatever because that would be hard where it's like, who's our dad? Like, just tell us.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's really, really tough. I'm glad this came out, though, like that's kind of step one. And like, hopefully this can lead to. something better for all of them in the future. I actually have a listener and I've met her in person. She's so sweet. But she wrote into our subreddit a couple of years ago now and was like, I found out I have over 50 siblings because of a DNA thing.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Oh, because her dad like probably donated a lot of sperm to a bank. Yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Stuff like that happens. And it's like you can't change the past. Like you now know and you can go forward and have relationships like these kids. Like they're hurt. Yeah. Like they said, like, why didn't you fight for us? But the dad's willing to embrace them.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She would steal kids, right? She would steal kids.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Cluminati. That one I hadn't seen and I really did like it. I think like the Clueless kept popping up quite a bit. Yes. But I don't know if I'm sold on any.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Top comment on this one. These are questions they need to be asking their mom. Well, yes, also that. OP actually responds and says they won't talk to her about it because she lied to them repeatedly. I'm honestly surprised she came clean and it wasn't a deathbed confession for her.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's also so crazy that she like came back already having a kid. Maybe she wanted just two kids with the same person.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So. That's very true. Yeah. Also true. Not a lot of other, you know, comments from OP adding context. DNA test is legit. He saw it himself. He knows they're, you know, telling the truth. She didn't bring the kid with her during those summers, you know, when she, the summer when she came back. No. He wouldn't know she was from a different state.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And they literally did not talk after that summer when he was 17. There's not anything he can do. And hopefully they go forward and we get an update that I want to I want a positive update.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think this will be good. Yeah. There was no mention of like, my wife is upset that I have these other kids. Yeah. There's no mention about anything other than him being worried about hurting their feelings and not having better answers for them, which it gives me a lot of hope. I agree.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
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Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And I think you guys, I think the Clubidoo or whatever came from our story we had a couple of weeks ago, the Hubidubi, the bowling guy. Oh, I don't think I heard that one. He started saying, like, who be doobie during sex. And his wife was like, please don't do that. What? And he, like, slept on the couch that night. He was so embarrassed about it. Oh, my gosh.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think that would be a good thing if you guys are willing to share too. If you have something you learned about someone, you can be very vague in the comments, but I had someone tell me a deathbed confession and it was this. I would love to hear some of the crazy ones you guys have gotten or things you learned after your parents or uncle, grandma, grandpa passed. I had one story a long time ago.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
This person was writing in a Reddit where their dad had died. And their mom was still alive and very sad. And the mom got super drunk one night and told the writer that, oh, just so you know, your dad was also my brother. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I know. I know. So crazy stuff comes out.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. But she got a little drunk and I don't know. Wow. They ran away together. They were from Germany, ran away to the U.S. together so they could be together.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Oh, my God. I'm like so scared. In the states of New Jersey and Rhode Island, incest between adults is legal.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
If I had to know, you all have to know. And that's how I feel about this next one. Ooh. Story number three here for us, coming from r slash relationship advice, five days old. It is titled, I, 22 female, believe my boyfriend, 28 male, might be tampering with my toothbrush. This is probably the weirdest and most disgusting thing I've ever typed.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
But I think I'm slowly realizing that my boyfriend has been doing something really fucked up. We've been together for about a year and a half. He's always been a little passive aggressive when he's upset. He won't talk things through.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
He just gets quiet or moody, gives me the silent treatment, things like that, or even accuses me of trying to continue arguments when I'm trying to hash things out until the conversation ends. He loves to reset and act like an issue or disagreement never happened. Anyways, a few months ago, I started noticing my toothbrush was being moved.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's electronic and it would be off the charger on its side or the whole thing was scooted forwards or backwards. I thought it was just getting knocked around because our counterpart is small. Eventually, I started noticing that it would be wet in the middle of the day or other times when I hadn't recently brushed my teeth. One time I noticed something on it, like it had been used to clean grout.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's when I started keeping a small spare toothbrush hidden in my makeup bag, which never was moved or messed with. Here's the part that really makes me feel sick. I finally confronted him after struggling to come to the reality that someone might be this disgusting and said something straightforward along the lines of, quote, are you doing something to my toothbrush when you're mad at me?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And he just laughed and said, you're crazy, and then refused to talk about it further. I don't even know how to process that. Like, what? I haven't seen him do it, so I don't have proof, but I know something's up. I feel crazy, but my gut is screaming at me that this is real and he is getting back at me by putting my toothbrush in the toilet or something else that's gross.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It turns out it's his bowling catchphrase. Oh. So it makes him feel confident. It makes him feel confident. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I haven't told anyone because it's honestly humiliating and gross. But I feel trapped between thinking I'm paranoid and realizing I might be with someone who would literally put my toothbrush in the toilet to get back at me. What do I even do?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
If you're in a relationship with someone, you don't have to get back at them. How scary is that to like, OK, you're starting with putting my toothbrush in the toilet or cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush to like to notice that there's grout looking stuff on your toothbrush, which I'm like, that was not grout. That was probably poop scum. Yeah. Yeah. That's disgusting.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
it helps him apparently I don't know so I'm like did you guys come up with that from that but regardless go over and listen to clues by the time this episode comes out we should have four if not five episodes live and it's a really good show and we cover a variety of stuff too I mean we're doing like
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So if they're willing to do that. Something that like you put in your mouth and like it's almost like eat my shit.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. But it's like, OK, where does that then go? Like, oh, you start putting Visine in my water or like bleach in my water. I think it's like that. I think it escalates.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
yeah there's i just saw this on tiktok and it's like the most sad sad thing there was a girl that went viral recently for like a funny video and she was finishing up nursing school just about to graduate and her roommate just killed her over like an argument about cats killed her yeah about cats an argument over their cats like he's already doing something really bad dangerous crazy to you yeah
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. But to have peace of mind, to have proof in case you need it down the line, like in case he goes goofy when you break up with him and you need a restraining order, it would be nice to have that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this is a time, you guys, where I am OK with a camera.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You know, that you also can get dicey. You might have to tastefully edit things. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
db cooper we have some mysteries like that also more serious true crime i think there's going to be kind of something for everyone absolutely and we are always open to case recommendations so send them our way i know we're really trying to cover some less known ones coming up and really highlight people of color as well so send any wrecks our way yeah but today but today you on your show which i always butcher the name heart starts pounding yes
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. That's a really good point. Everyone thinks so highly of their own kids. Like, you had another episode I listened to. It was, like, the one where you were going through, like, mailbag and you talked about the Australian – I don't know if it was a prison, but like one of Australia's worst shootings happened there.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And you were talking about it and how like this guy's own mother was like, no, he couldn't do that. No, no, no. And it's like the delusion.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Top comment on this one. Just break up. The fact that he's moody and gives you the silent treatment is enough of a reason. It's immature and exhausting behavior. But if you have this gut feeling about your toothbrush, just trust and leave. You're on point.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm just like, I love being a little detective. I'm like so against cameras, too. But I'm like, like sneaky, like cameras recording your partner. I'm like, I'm so against that. But I'm like, you need to know. No, but I think you bring up a good point.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No. The comment does go on to say you don't need proof. You don't need a good enough reason. Also, his response is bogus. If my husband asked me if I tampered with his toothbrush, I'd reassure him, not call him crazy. Then I'd give him a new toothbrush from my stash if he doubted his. Yeah. Yeah. OP does respond.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think I already knew what I was going to need, but needed reassurance to get the courage, and I've been too embarrassed to talk about it in real life. He's asleep next to me right now, and I haven't been able to sleep all night thinking about this dumb shit, so I made this throwaway.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I don't know if he gaslights me, but he definitely believes there is a give and a take to everything, and if I upset him, then in turn, he has full rights to retaliate towards me whether he mentions the issue to me or not. He's demeaning and discourages me from attending classes. I don't know what I was holding on to our relationship for."
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Well, we get an update on this one. Oh, good. Oh, I'm so scared. I haven't read it. I'm like, oh, please have a happy ending. Please say you installed a camera. Yeah. Okay, update. When I wrote that post, I felt sick, confused, and honestly ashamed. I didn't think anyone would even read it, let alone respond. But I did get a response. A lot of them.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And something about that, being seen in a situation I've been quietly drowning in, shifted something in me. I didn't give him another chance because I still couldn't believe what was happening. I gave him one because a part of me still wanted him to redeem himself. I wanted him to see how scared I was, how small he'd made me feel, and do something decent for once.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
After that first night I posted here, I thought maybe if I brought it up again, calmly, and gave him a real opening to be honest, he might finally do the right thing. Instead, he doubled down. This time, he implied it might be his daughter, an 8-year-old. He shrugged and said, "'Kids do weird stuff like that. Maybe she's been playing a trick on you.'"
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And when I tried to bring up how unsafe and confused I felt for months, how he used to leave my food out on purpose when he was mad, how he pushed me to drop both work and school, how isolated and anxious I've become, he brushed it all off. Said they were just normal relationship disagreements that could have been worked through if I communicated better.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It was so dismissive, it actually stunned me. I realized in that moment, nothing I said would ever matter to him and never had. So I dropped it. I smiled. I pretended to believe him. I told him it was probably all just in my head. I didn't expect anyone to respond when I reached out. I've been so cut off from everything.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
But one of them did pretty much immediately, like she was waiting to hear from me again. She told me I could crash on her couch for a few weeks while I find a job back in my home state, probably bartending or waitressing again. I don't care. I just needed out. So it sounds like she reached out to someone she used to know. Thank God. I'm safe. My body already feels different.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
full-blown chills at that. Of course, I've already gotten texts, his daughter's mom, her family, asking where I've gone and begging me to come back or saying the kid will miss me, that I was so good with her and they need help. And yeah, I will miss her too. I really will. Shouldn't ask for any of this. I'm not doing this for anyone else anymore.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm doing this for me, for the version of me who used to have friends, who used to go out and had a whole future planned. Thanks to everyone who commented and who reminded me that being scared in your own home isn't normal. Y'all helped me find the nerve to leave. Oh, I'm so happy for her. I am so bummed he has an eight year old daughter. I know. Poor little thing.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Because if he's doing this to her, he's doing that to that little girl, too. Yeah. Like you don't behave. Daddy's not talking to you. Retaliating against a child.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No, but I am glad she got out. So, so happy. She does have one last line here. This will be my only update on Reddit probably, but if anything else exciting happens, maybe I'll come back to this throwaway account and let y'all know. LOL. Okay. Yay. Good job.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Oh, my gosh. And so much stuff. Like, I knew I needed to get out. I left with only a couple bags because there was so much more context in this update post that we didn't even know about. Like, this was actually, it was not just the toothbrush. It was leaving food out when you're mad at me. Yeah. Yeah. Separating me from family, friends, not letting me go to school or work like it was such a bad.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's DARVO. It's literally like deflect, like accuse, whatever the acronym is. Yeah. It's literally that. Oh, it's so, so crazy. That is. Yeah, that's really rough. Top comment on the update. Proud of you. Glad you got away safely. Don't respond to any of them and focus on healing. Definitely don't respond. Don't. That's good advice. Block them all. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I feel so happy, but I'm like, I'm really sad for the kid.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's another one where it's definitely good that it comes out a lot earlier.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. And like trust your gut, you guys. Like this is one where it's like it really was like her instinct and she knew. And that line where she was like, my body instantly feels better. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
My body already feels different. You probably can just like relax your muscles a little bit more. Completely. Like your nervous system when you are being in like a toxic situation, whether.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. But our bodies know. They definitely do. Definitely do. Okay. This next one, y'all buckle up. Ooh. Okay. So this one is also coming from Relationship Advice, 12 hours old. It is titled, How do I, 36 female, move forward after my best friend, 37 female, told me she is destined to kill me?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Trigger warning to mental health issues. Yeah. It's on the top of the post here. I'm going to provide a detailed background, probably even too much, but I'm not holding back because at this point, I feel like every detail matters and context is exceptionally important. I met A when she transferred to my school in ninth grade. We were instantly best friends.
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We spent a lot of time together, and I felt like I had finally found a true friend. She devastated me with the news less than a year later that she had bone marrow cancer. I was distraught. I thought I was losing my one and only friend just after finding her. I wanted to do anything and everything to make her better.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
My dad was also saddened by the news as she spent a good deal of time at our house. She didn't have bone marrow cancer. She was physically healthy, told me it was a false diagnosis. This was only the first issue that came up in our relationship. She has since lied about breast cancer, cervical cancer. These are lies I have confirmed with her family members.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She has admitted to stretching the truth. She can't keep her story straight. She, at 32, claimed that her father did things to her as a child, but a year later said it was her karate instructor and that her dad would never have done something like that. When she was 33, she was out of state and I had to call the local law enforcement because she said she had a firearm and was going to use it.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's really just the tip of the iceberg here. There's so much more, but I'm choosing not to get into this. All of this to say, I don't know what to believe from this woman's mouth. A few months ago, A and I went out on a weekend outing at a locale a few hours away. For the most part, it was a lot of fun. We stayed in a fancy haunted hotel, did a lot of walking and talked a ton.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It was like we were 14 again. We ate well. I drank well. She's sober. And then as the night was winding down, she looked me dead in the eye and said, quote, I'm going to kill you. I was caught off guard and laughed it off at first, but she doubled down. Quote, you killed me in a past life, so I'm destined to kill you.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Apparently, a blonde woman with my eyes was speeding in a red car and ran over A as she was crossing the street. I just pretended it didn't get to me because again, I don't know what to believe and if she was being serious. And we went back to our accommodations. She proceeded to have a panic attack. I helped her through it and she fell asleep. I've been trying to figure out what to do since.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Obviously, I know she needs help. I've begged her to get help before, but she refuses to take medication. She doesn't drink, but does use cannabis. She has described extremely vivid hallucinations. Her ex has custody of their kids, likely for good reason. I've come to the conclusion that I want and need to let her go. I need to know how to do so safely.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She lives an hour away, but knows where I live. I don't know how seriously I should take her death threat. Please help.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, I think it's very clear. Like you have spent, what are they, 36, 37 now, met in ninth grade, which you're like 12, 13. You've spent 23, 24 years being this person's friend, trying to help them. Yeah. And putting up with a lot of... Of things already, like being lied to about bone marrow cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer. Yeah. Different stories about family members and abuse.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Like, that isn't okay. And you've still remained her friend. Yeah. And just given her such grace because whatever reason. Right. So I think you do a slow fade and keep your head on a swivel.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
loss of a lifelong friend could, I feel like that could cause an active psychosis. I'm not sure. I'm not a psychologist. I would love for a psychologist to chime in. I know we have some trauma specialists that like do really deal with stuff like this.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And they're in the comments sometimes because like, I think there are a lot of people out there and we actually have a case coming up where we are going to be reaching out to providers and psychologists to learn how to properly address someone who is in more of an active psychosis because it's like it is out of a lot of our depths, but we do encounter mental health all the time.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's very important. So it is good to like if you have a family member and they're going through that, like what is the best way to respond that keeps everyone safe and helps them the most? Right. That's that's the key. That's the dance. Yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
A lot of comments on this one.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's hard. But it's like it's one of those things where it's like, thank God you found out now versus like you don't even know that you have to like look over your shoulder. Yeah. Like you don't know that you have to like kind of be more on edge now because this person does have some thought within them that they are destined to kill you. That's really scary. The like past life.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
thing it is interesting it's like a spiritual psychosis almost yeah oh in a past life you what'd you say hit me with your car yeah a red car like the details like yeah it's some sort of i don't know what that is but that's really spooky too i know so top comment on this one with 134 upvotes like
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Some comments like there's about 100 now, but it's still kind of flying under the radar right now in relationship advice. So top comment is, I'm really sorry you're going through this. You're absolutely right to take this seriously. What your friend said, regardless of whether it's a delusion, a cry for help or something else, is a red flag.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
When someone explicitly says they are destined to kill you, that is not something to ignore, especially given the long pattern of manipulation, erratic, and potentially dangerous behavior you've described. You've clearly been an incredibly loyal, compassionate friend. Yeah. Yeah. Begin by minimizing contact. Don't tell her when or why you're pulling back. Just do it. Document everything.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm like, I know what I'm going to be cleaning my house to later. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Save texts, voicemails, messages, especially anything related to the threat. Screenshot what you remember from the conversation if it wasn't written. Keep this all in a secure place. If she ever shows up or contacts you in a threatening way again, you'll need it. Consider a protective order.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It may feel extreme, but if she escalates or you feel in danger, having this documentation will help you file for a restraining order if needed. Talk to a therapist. This is a traumatic situation, and untangling from a relationship like this, especially one that started in childhood, can be really painful. Having that professional support will help you process the grief and fear safely.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Inform close friends or family. Let people around you know what's going on so they can check in. you don't owe her your safety you did what you could for years probably more than most would have but she crossed a line that you cannot unhear whether or not she meant it the threat alone is enough please take care of yourself you deserve to feel safe in your own life
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I want spoilers, but I don't. I don't want to ruin it for other people. It will be linked in the description of this episode. We'll link that one. Easy to find. Yes. Holy crap. Okay. Well, today's theme kind of plays off that. It's kind of a mix of like that could have been a deathbed confession. Like it was so bad. Oh, wow. But thank God it wasn't.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, that was really well put. Yeah, OP does see it and responds. Thank you. I really appreciate your attention to the specifics of the situation. I've definitely been distancing. I have audio recordings as well as text. Wow.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You can get 15% off all Colgate Optic White products at shop.colgate.com with code 2HOTTAKES. Always use as directed. I'm so excited. Me too.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's almost like the crime junkie version of like your folder. If something happens to you and like you go missing, it's like, OK, well, here's my picture and here's who could have done it. And all the documents that you're going to need. Yeah. Yeah. Passport, birth certificate, whatever. I don't even know what they say.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
a little bit to have a folder like that there's enough pieces of hair in my car for me shedding it'll be good someone will find it uh op does have a couple other comments that luckily like she has cameras and things like that but doesn't have a doorbell camera so is gonna get one of those yeah but taking it seriously and i'm sure there's a lot of guilt there but absolutely doing the right thing
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. Woof. I know. Also woof. This next guy. Oh, man. I know. It's really bad. Is this one going to be heavier? I don't. It's not heavy. Okay, hit me with it. I don't know. Let's do it. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain very serious talks of some mental health issues and mentions of SA. So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next story.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Markers will be in the description. Okay, this next one, coming from AITAH, two days old, titled, Am I the asshole for calling my fiance's mom obsessed with him at dinner in front of everyone? I'll be honest, I was already irritated before dinner even started because his mom always has to be involved in everything. She invited herself to our anniversary dinner.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
We were celebrating four years together, and she showed up in a white dress. Like, deadass. A literal bridal white floor-length dress and heels. She said she wanted to feel pretty too. I'm already biting my tongue.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Anyways, we're all talking and laughing and she cuts me off mid-sentence to tell this long story about how when he was a baby, he would cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib. Okay, whatever. Later, she then touches his face and goes, quote, you'll always be my favorite boy. No one will ever love you like I do.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Everyone kind of laughed it off, but I was stunned because it's not even subtle anymore. Like she's obsessed with him. I didn't even think it just came out of my mouth. I said, quote, do you hear yourself? You sound obsessed. He's your son, not your boyfriend. It was silent, like fork hitting plate silent. His brother literally choked on his wine. His mom looked like I had slapped her.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She said I was being disrespectful and dramatic and started crying, saying, quote, I've loved him longer than anyone. And, quote, you don't understand mother son bonds. He took her aside, said that I was rude and ruined the mood, and he didn't even check on me when I got up and left. I Ubered home. He hasn't texted. My best friend says I went too far, but I don't know.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I was thinking about this because I was like, how do I set this up today? And I asked myself and I was like, if I knew something really bad, Would I want to find out when that person's dying towards the end? Would I want to be ignorance is bliss mindset with them? Or would I want to know as soon as possible? Right.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's been two days and I feel even more angry. Like I'm supposed to compete with this woman forever? Be second to someone who acts like she's his ex? I don't know. I'm spiraling. Did I cross the line or finally say what no one else would?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I've seen the football ones. I didn't hear the quote with it.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I can't imagine, like, granted, I don't have kids. I can't imagine ever being like that. I loved him longer than anyone.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. And it's so good you found out now that you don't have a partner. Like, him going to you after that, like... I think he said it to his mom that you're rude and you ruined the mood. Okay, you might have brought down the mood a little bit. But was it a lie? Was it a lie? You have to stand up for your partner. Yeah, and, like, you know... I know. And the way this was written...
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think this was their anniversary dinner. Yeah. Like, she shows up to your anniversary dinner. Like, you are engaged, about to be married. You're having a four-year anniversary dinner. She shows up in white, which, I don't know, wedding season is upon us right now. And the stories that are coming out are bonkers. I just saw a picture.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I, like, shared the picture from the wedding, and she wore a white dress. and walked down the aisle with her son, and she posted the picture. It is... A white dress. Yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
want it to be their vision they want to be the one in white i know it's it's definitely a hard boundary to keep like someone that's planning and it's hard because like everyone's gonna have their opinion everyone wants to help which i really appreciate um and one thing i do kind of like i'm toying with right now is like do i just put my mom in white I'm like, do I put her in wait?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Like she never got to have a wedding. Oh, interesting. Her partner passed away a couple of years ago now from colon cancer, which, hey, all we forgot to mention colon cancer awareness month. Please get screened. I just had a friend get a massive tumor taken out today and is getting biopsied. So you're kidding. He is literally twenty nine. So get screened, okay? It's happening younger and younger.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Everything. Yeah, I know. So I'm like, which would you prefer? And this is all kind of like, thank God it came out, but ooh, it could have been one. Okay. I'm so curious to hear them. It's going to be a good one. So let's dive in. Okay. Okay, our first one.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's so scary. It's our food, but we won't get into that today. But I'm like, it's something that was so important and special to her and she never got to have. So I'm like, I honestly might let her wear white. But then I'm like, would Justin's mom feel left out? So then I'm like, do I put both moms in cream ivory, like gold? Does your mom want to wear white? I don't know.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She wore white to my brother's wedding. Oh, really?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. She's cute. She's just such a little cutie that I want her to feel special.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. Or are they going to be... I don't know. I'm like really toying with that because I'm like, oh, whatever. Not a big deal. Like my grandma, I'm having her be my flower girl. So I'm putting her in like a white set or dress, whatever she wants to wear. But I did. This might be my bridezilla moment, guys, on our wedding, like RSVP website.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I have a tab that's like vibe outfit inspo and I'm like it's cocktail attire required cowboy boots encouraged and so I'm like you can do what you want but I literally on the bottom I put no white smiley face I've read enough reddit stories to know I need to say this that's funny I'm like, I hope they get it. Some of the old people probably won't.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I also accidentally bought vintage stamps of two birds having sex.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Those birds are fucking. They're like the cranes are they're whooping. The whooping cranes are making whoopee. And I'm like, oh, my God, you guys, people were I've never gotten more messages in my life.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I really did consider redoing a lot of those envelopes, but they're going out. Hopefully people don't think I'm kinky and weird. It's camp. It's cute. Whatever. I think people will appreciate it. It's fine. Top comment on this one. They quote what Opie said. His brother literally choked on his wine. Bro had always wanted to say what you said, in my opinion. Which, brother.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That went over my head, okay? So that's his brother. And the mom literally said, you'll always be my favorite boy.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
four years probably you did community service yeah this this in no way should have ever been a deathbed confession this needed to be said today yeah absolutely i'm so curious if op is gonna call it off two days old i'm i'm really please they're not married yet right fiance it's a lot harder to call off once you're married i know People were accusing this of being fake.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
This is real, not fake, OP says. It just hurts to think that his mom matters more to him than I do. Where do I even stand in all of this? OP does say, I think you're right. Someone says you should probably call it off. And they go, it's not worth it to stay. Wow. Yikes. But no official update and no other comments.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Oh, my gosh. Yeah. This is like a couple weeks before your wedding.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You got it. You got to cancel as soon as possible to hopefully get any of those deposits back. I know.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You lose. At that point, just throw a party.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You're in too deep. Just throw a really good party.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I have seen that. I saw a bride post a TikTok. She was like, found out my fiance was cheating on me the day before the wedding or something. She's like, me and my family threw an amazing party.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Because I paid for this DJ. That would be me. Yeah. Oh, man. Wow. This next one makes me want to crash out too. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. So this is coming from r slash relationship advice. It is six hours old. It's titled my 27 male best friend, 27 male confessed to me that he tampered with a condom resulting in a friend's 25 female pregnancy. Why is everyone touching each other's stuff?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I don't know what to do. So there's actually more to this story than just tampering with the condom. But that's the main point. I'm 27 male, married to my wife, 27 female. About four years ago, my wife met this girl and they became best friends and she started hanging around us. She was always quite shy. And when she met my wife, she had never had her first kiss or been on a date.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
One night, I remember a few of the guys joking about who could take her V-card, and my best friend was betting he could do it. I never told my wife or any of the girls about that. Over time, he seemed like he actually liked her and continued to ask her out, and she rejected him. I assumed he would give up at some point.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Like five or six months ago, he shows up to golf, bragging about finally convincing her to go out with him. Within a few weeks, was then bragging he finally convinced her to have sex with him. And then, I think about three or four weeks later, they told us she was pregnant. Last night, we were drinking, and he told me he messed with the condom.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
He said she told him she wasn't on birth control as she had never done anything and wasn't planning on it. And when she told him that, he said he, quote, thought it would be his only chance to keep her. He went on about how he'll give her a good life and said she would be better off because she always thought she didn't want kids. He also told me that night he took her virginity, a.k.a.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
the night she got pregnant, that she wasn't sure about it. And it took a lot of convincing. Ew! There's so many points in which you could go to jail for this.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Bring the electric chair back.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Send him to North Carolina. Worst part is she's extremely depressed. She also expressed to my wife she never wanted this. She's scared and not ready. She moved in with him and he's already proposed when she told him she was pregnant. So they're all in on this. Do I tell her? or my wife.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She also told my wife she was just grateful he was stepping up and taking care of her and she didn't want to do it alone. So at this point, I don't know if I tell anyone or not. At the same time, listening to him talk about it made me feel sick. And if it were my little sister, I probably would have killed him.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
This is coming from AITAH, five hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for finding out I've been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for two years? I, 31 female, have been married to Brian, 33 male, for two years. Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a great deal from a family friend.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Oh my gosh, can you imagine? Because you don't know where she's at right now. You like... Regardless, she shouldn't be with someone who did this.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Absolutely. Because, like, the thing is... This man is a psychopath. He did this to her and then she's living with him. And again, I just like don't know what he's willing to do to keep her.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Absolutely. And I think like here's the thing for like anyone out there listening. If you have a friend in your life that clearly doesn't respect other people's boundaries because like they met this girl four years ago. The guy made a bet that he could do it, take her V card, whatever. He continued to ask her out and she rejected him. You assumed, OP, that he would give up at some point.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
He didn't. So this has been him harassing her for three and a half years to go out with him.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think a lot of people excuse it and like justify it based on how long they've known them. Like Lauren and I were just talking about this last night and she was so sad she forgot to mention it on the episode. But there's like a mutual in her boyfriend's group that like he is not friends with.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And he said something to Brian about Lauren where it's like, well, Brian's just manipulated because he's with a free thinker. And you you can't be with that. You need to find a woman who's not a free thinker. What? Yeah. Lauren's like losing her mind over it because that's so anti her. And it's just like, it's like, what?
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, that's really scary. That's scary. Like, you think you want someone who's beneath you? You don't want someone who has a mind of their own and can... What? I mean, some people think like that. The implications of that...
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
We agreed to split rent and utilities 50-50 to keep things equal since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights. So I've been sending him $700 a month just for rent this whole time. Three days ago at a barbecue, I overheard his mom talking about how, quote, it's nice getting rent from Brian's place and how smart they were to keep it in the family.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. Yeah. And when I say electric chair, I don't like I'm not saying we need to take him out, but like just a painful, shocking once a week to make him think about what he's done. Yeah. A couple of zaps. Yeah. We can hook him up to a horse fence. Honestly, yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No, you need to come clean. Who do you tell first? I think maybe you tell your girlfriend who's her friend. Yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. I think that would be probably the best. And it's like, I know some people might be like yelling. They're like, no, don't burden her with that. Go directly to the girl. But like, honestly, I think your wife would also be hurt if you didn't tell her.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. Of course. But also I think like it's going to be better from someone like she trusts and loves because like you're friends with her, but you're also like her bestie's husband. Like, yeah, it would feel for me better coming from my friend. Would you want both of them to sit down together and tell you? Maybe. Because I think that adds to the credibility. Yeah.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. I'm thinking. And she's really going to need support because she already moved in there. So it's like now you got to help this girl get out. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Top comment on this one. You should have felt sick about his antics a long time ago. He's appalling. Tell your girlfriend and support your female friend together after telling the friend what he did. Next one down.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, all bold, all caps. Jesus Christ, you have to tell her immediately. Yeah. This was only posted six hours ago at the time I opened the tab. We do have a couple comments. No official update, though. At least for now, she's living at his house. He's financially stable, and I know for a fact she isn't. She has him taking care of her now and is already depressed.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Once I tell, it becomes ten times worse.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
People have to know. Oh, my God. What? Yeah. This was a thing too in the podcast we saw live when we went and saw Crime Junkie live. There was like someone who was taking pictures of people in a bathroom and the police like destroyed all of those because they were like, we're going to do justice to the victims and not expose this or tell them.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
But it's like it's that argument of like, should people know or are they better off not? Ignorance is bliss. It's tough.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Turns out his mom owns the apartment and Brian's on the deed, too. I had no idea. He never told me. He just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate. When I confronted him, he said I never asked and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying. But I feel completely blindsided. It's not just the money. It's the secrecy.
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217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. And I think like if you have situations that happen, you can then like trust your gut. You won't doubt yourself. Right. Your radar will be more attuned. Like you can then proceed forward knowing all the cards on the table. Right. OP continues to just like keep digging a hole and trying to justify like not telling in the comments.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's actually kind of worrying me that like OP is not going to say anything. God, there's one here. I'm worried if I do speak up that it will truly make it worse for her. At least now she's safe and is living with him and has him to take care of her. I know for a fact she's not financially stable, but he is. She told my wife her worst fear was him leaving her to do it alone. Next comment.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I honestly believe she is safe, though. He has been obsessed with her since they met, and despite what he did, he will take care of her and protect her. There's a baby coming at this point. Whether I tell the truth or not, the only difference is if I don't, her and her baby have a man with a good job and house taking care of them. If I do, she's a 25-year-old waitress and single mother.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I don't think he'd hit her, and honestly, it seems like he spoils her trying to make her feel better. Still doesn't make it right, but might be the better of two scenarios.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Someone needs to find out so they can tell her. Absolutely. It doesn't get better. He goes in this next comment. I don't see how what I said is vile. In regards to that last one we read, someone said, you're vile. I get it. He's a terrible person. What he did sucks. But it's done regardless of what I do next. It's not that easy of a decision.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I highly doubt half of these people wouldn't agree if they were put in it. He sucks? No, he is a perverted criminal. Let's call a spade a spade. Yeah, oh my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
There's a comment here. Well, for the record, I've decided to tell my wife tonight. I'm still not sure it's the right decision, but I'm doing it. Thank God. Thank God.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
OP does say, I didn't know he was planning to get her pregnant on purpose. Like, I would have stopped it if I did know. I refreshed, and this is now nine hours old. So I hope to God we get an update on this one.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm like, drop a pin, girl. Yeah. We'll come help you move out.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Holy smokes. Wow. Okay. Last one for us because we cannot end on that note. Okay, I'm giving you a choice on this last one. Okay. Okay, so option one, sister-in-law freaks out on me because her fiance tried to book me for his bachelor party. Okay, interesting. Or option two, found out spouse was hiding huge debt. 39 female and 37 male.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And option three, how do I, 19 male, tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists? Let's do that one because I want to hear some teenagers try to figure out how to solve that. Some chaos. Okay, this is coming from a relationship advice two days old. Again, titled, How do I, 19 male, tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'll answer any questions or chat about the more obvious thing about this post, but anyways. My family's fairly casual about nudity around the house, and it's not uncommon for some or all of us to decide to not bother with clothes if the weather permits, especially for our pool and such. We also go to a closed optional resort slash camp pretty regularly in the summer.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup. Now he's acting like I'm the problem. Am I the asshole? No.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
The only one in my social circle who knows about this stuff is my best friend and his parents, and he's fine with it. He maybe just jokes about it. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now and have been considering telling her about this side of my family, mainly because it feels like I'm hiding it from her.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And to a lesser degree, it's kind of annoying to me and my family to have to warn them when she's coming over so that people are dressed. What would be the best way to tell her? Or is that even advisable? I'm just kind of stressing over it because I don't want her to take it wrong or think it's weird slash gross. And I feel like the longer I wait, the worse she'll take it.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And it's already been a while. That's a major reason we don't really broadcast us doing it, since most people would probably react very negatively about it. What do I do?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
But, like, maybe. I would have ran the other direction. As much as I love Justin, if he came to me and said, hey, my family are actually nudists. I would turn into a pilgrim. I would be like, witch! Catch me in that bonnet. I'll bring up... I'm going straight to the collar anytime I'm around them. Yeah, witch.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. It is so wild. I definitely like I had friends like that in high school where my mom was always like, I really don't want you staying over at their house because their family just operated so different. Like their 13 year old daughter could go stay at boys houses. And like it was it was just a different operation.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
You have to be very careful with your kids. I know that that's like been a big movement now. It's like people don't even do sleepovers. Like they don't let their kids do sleepovers anymore. And like I'm so on board for that. Like I get it. You cannot be too careful.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I don't know. With this one, one, I'm really curious if we have any nudists in our community. Please tell me how it is. What got you into it?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I do find it weird to take family vacations when you have children to nude camps. I just don't trust other people. Yeah. I get your home, your pool, your family. Okay, please comment. I'm trying not to be super judgmental, but...
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I don't know if my mind is open today. Yeah. Have to tell her, though. We're both on that.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
She has to know. Yeah. Top comment. Be prepared for your family to still need to wear clothes, even if you tell her. It's okay if she isn't comfortable seeing your dad's dick when she comes over for spaghetti. Why? No. Next comment down. True. Consent goes both ways. She might be fine with a lifestyle, but still wants boundaries and a dick-free dinner. Definitely. So true. OP responds, fair.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Most people wouldn't want extra sausage around. Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Not that that really changes much, but like.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
In our world, it's gone in a blink. Time's moving too fast these days. Seriously. Oh, I'm so excited for this episode. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes, you guys. I'm your host, Morgan. And today I'm joined by Kaylin Moore. Hello, everyone. Hello. So happy to be here. I'm really excited for today. Kalen and I started another show. You may have heard of it by now.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think I would, too. And even at 18, like I was I was a little bit of a rebel. I was like driving, doing like eight hour road trips by myself to go visit my boyfriend in college at 16. Wow. You were the girl I was scared of. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little out there like we my friend group. We were a bit trouble, trouble, troublesome troublemakers.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So like at 13, 14, we'd go down to like this haunted ship that Duluth has and steal our parents' peppermint schnapps and get hammered and go on the haunted ship. Wow. So don't recommend that if you have kids. Keep close eyes on your liquor cabinets.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Hell no. My mom... There was one time I said, oh, yeah, I'm at my friend Heather's house. Next thing I know, my mom's rolling up, coming down the basement steps. Morgan, get your ass out here. She was good.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No. So knowing what I did, I'm like with add in modern technology.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Even still, like I would have been like, hell no. Like I'm I'm out there, but like not this out there, especially 18. She's only 18.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Because if there's an accident and you don't warn your family and she just pops in, you get more comfortable and she pops in.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
For sure. And it's so weird when he was confronted. It's turned on her so quickly. You never asked. Well, like, I didn't feel like I had to. You told me a family friend. You didn't say my mom owns an apartment, but he's also on the deed, so you own the apartment?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, or you're sick in bed and it's like, yeah, come over. Your dad accidentally comes home. You don't know because you're sick in bed and she walks through.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Prevent the awkwardness, you know, just you got to tell her. OP does say like, I'm going to tell her if she's not okay with it. I guess we continue as we are and she's just aware of it. I guess the larger thing is feeling awkward about not telling her and if she learned some other way or something that she'd take it even worse. Getting surprised.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, that's absolutely the worst way to learn about it. I'm just like, this is now a new huge fear of mine. I never want to walk in on my in-laws naked.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's like one of my like newer pet peeves. And it's like not newer, but like I've noticed it a lot more lately. dressing room curtains that don't close on the ends. I know. Bathroom doors.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Why are we not having doors, standards, doors with no gaps, bathrooms? I shouldn't be able to see someone peeking at me through a stall as I'm washing my hands.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. So strange. A lot of comments from OP. No formal update yet. Yeah, no update.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Honestly, the comments feel very positive to me. A lot of just sexual jokes. Someone goes, just tell her most nudists wear clothes when visitors arrived. Signed, long-term nudist. OP response, fair. That's literally how we operate. 99% of the company we have, that 1% is either nudists themselves or don't care. But yeah, no formal update. A lot of comments.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
So I will be sure to post the link for this one if you want to really dive into the nudist responses.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah. I want to hear from you guys, though. Like if you are nudist or if you've experienced a partner that's a nudist.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I'm curious. I just Googled, how many U.S. nudist communities are there? Oh, interesting. About 200 to 260 affiliated with the American Association for Nude Recreation. Association? Has over 30,000 members. Okay. Very small. Very small.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Which if you're nudist, be proud. You know, you're doing it. Be proud. You're doing it. You're doing it. You're really doing it. Thank you so, so much for coming on. Thank you for having me on. These were all wild, wild stories. This was insane. Yeah. You have some insane episodes. The ones I've listened to. The plane one with the girl that fell from the plane. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I think about it every time I fly now. Yeah. And especially with these planes going dark in Newark. Kaelin, how are we going to fly? I have no idea. I'm like not okay. Wait, what are the ones going dark in Newark? They're going dark. Like air traffic control is like losing planes. I did not hear that. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Oh, I really hate that. Yeah. But that episode of yours is amazing.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Yeah, like, where does it go? Because if it goes straight in his pocket and he's literally lying about this, I would be so irate. If it's going to his mom, paying for... The overall upkeep of the building, whatever. Okay, it's $700 a month. That's pretty fair rent. But then, but why do you have to lie about that? Why lie?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Where can people find you? How can they listen?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Amazing. It'll be easy to find. All the links will be in the description as well as the links for our new show Clues. Come over and listen. Yes, please come listen. We've got some really, really good cases. I'm really like... I'm really proud of the work we've been doing.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
I know. And so does the team at Pave. It's just like it's a whole machine that we have going. But I love the feedback we've gotten so far. So thank you all. All of you that have came over. Everyone who's listened. Yeah. Thank you so much. Truly. Absolutely. But come check it out. And on that note, got nothing else. Head over to Patreon. But until next time. Bye. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It is. And I did the math, too. I pulled up my little calculator, guys. Don't worry. Didn't do it in my head. $16,800 over the course of two years. Like, that's not... That's a lot of money. Yeah, that's substantial.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No, it's just a weird dynamic. Really weird. Top comment on this one. It's not even that you didn't ask. He said it was a family friend. It wasn't. It was him.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Well, and it's like you never asked, but she kind of did. She's like, where are we living? Oh, family friend's place. Like she did kind of ask. Yes. Oh, you didn't ask me if that was a lie. Like what? I figured the person I'm marrying is going to be honest and truthful with me. I didn't know I need to be suspicious of my partner.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
No. Here's another really... Oh, this makes me so mad and I didn't really consider it. The next comment after that goes, and I bet she's the only one paying rent. Yes. Oh, that too. I bet he's not paying anything for it because he's mommy's little boy.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
And OP responds, yeah, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. He's never shown me his half of the rent going anywhere. Starting to think I was the only one paying anything. Oh my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It really is because it just speaks to such a bigger issue within the dynamic and the relationship and his dynamic with his mom and how it's not really you and your partnership that's prioritized. He is prioritizing his mom and whatever that weird deal is or you're subsidizing his living and he's not being a fair partner at all. Like, it's super strange. Yeah. Super strange. I totally agree.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
There is a comment here, big yellow box, lots of upvotes. Facts. OP, the bigger issue at hand is that your husband and your partner not only lied to you, but they also committed financial infidelity. Oh, yeah. That's it. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
That's like that's I'm sure I've read it on here before, but like having it in this context, it's like, oh, yeah. Which by definition is when a partner in a relationship or marriage lies about hides or fails to disclose information regarding money.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
yeah so fits the box my question would be now what else have you lied about followed by i do not know if i can ever trust you again those are the hard questions you need to ask once trust is broken it's hard to ever get it back especially with money stuff like isn't that they say that's the thing that couples get divorced over the most is finances i'd believe it and so if you're already with someone who's not honest about money i mean does he have a ton of
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
It's called Clues, and on Clues, we get into true crime cases. And you know what my favorite feedback so far has been? Oh, what? I was terrified of true crime. I didn't think I could listen to it. I was, you know, worried another true crime podcast. That's whatever. Yeah. And everyone has been like, it is so good. It's so palatable. You're telling the stories in such a respectful, cohesive way.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Financial abuse is really being highlighted right now. Yeah. Especially in my world of Reddit. And this could, in a sense, yeah, like there's a story I have saved for another episode right now where this woman writes in and she's like, my husband says I can only go on my friend's hen do if I pay for it myself and arrange child care. And it's like, it's your husband. He's the father of those kids.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
He should help. And then she gives more context that she's like, I'm a stay-at-home mom. I have no financial income. Oh, yeah. So you're essentially saying she can't go. He's just, yeah. It's control. Yeah. It's a control thing at that point. Yeah. But we'll get into that one.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
There's only one other comment from OP and she goes, thanks, but do you really think it's this serious? Like divorce level serious? So I don't know if it's like the severity and like how serious this is, is like clicking with her yet. Yeah, it sounds like she doesn't understand that it's.
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
Well, and the question is, how long would you have let this go on?
Two Hot Takes
217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore
because i don't think he was gonna come clean oh yeah like how long would he have let it go on yeah and if you if you found out that your husband ended up owning your apartment or your house that you're living in and on his deathbed goes kaylin i've been taking all your rent money what would you do like okay well then i'm done paying for your medical care well this is getting expensive so let's speed this up yeah damn
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He knows I want marriage. We both agreed if we ever did get married, we would get a prenup. Whatever is his before the marriage would stay his. Whatever was mine would stay mine. And whatever was ours would be ours. But if he owns the house without me and something were to happen to our relationship, then he would have no legal obligation to pay me back. I need to know.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Am I wrong for thinking this way? I've never asked him for anything. I pay my share to live there and I pay my own bills. I buy all of the groceries for the house with little to no help from him. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, and take care of his dog 75% of the time, again, with little to no help from him. I work full-time and recently went back to school and earned a master's degree.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I've never asked him for anything. I just don't understand why he would expect me to dish out money on house renovations that legally don't belong to me. If I would go through with funding a renovation, is there a way around this where he would be obligated to pay me back if the relationship would go south? Any advice would be helpful.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Unreal. I know. I'm like, I can't tell people. Check out the local massage parlors in your area. Because sometimes they have really good deal. Yeah. If they do the thing where you stay clothed.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It's so needed. I've bought like 10 of these things and I can't stop. There's so many different textures, objects.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He said... after they had plans to buy a house together yeah we're building a life together let's go in 50 50 60 40 whatever it is together on a house you know what i'm gonna buy my mom's place with or without you don't care don't care what you want yeah this is someone who quite literally in his head Doesn't like I don't care what you want. I'm going to do what I want regardless.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
That's not a partner. You're already like on such different wavelengths. And then for him to be like, well, you're going to benefit from the updated kitchen. yeah, while I live here and use it, but if we break up, no. If you have a house and your house costs 150K, right? And you put 50K into it to update a kitchen and a bathroom, you're not just at 200K. Your house might be worth 400K.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Is he going to split that equity when he sells? Or is he going to buy her out? Is this going to be a loan with interest? It doesn't sound like he's open to that being the case. Go take out a home equity line of credit, my guy. Go put this against the value of the home you own. That's fair. You're the one that's going to benefit from this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Okay, if she wants a fancy Japanese soaking tub, maybe she can contribute to that.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
She's the only one using the tub. That's something that might make sense. But a deck and a sliding door, that... this is not how this works like she's paying the mortgage she's contributing so much and that's that's that's even generous in my eyes to be honest that's more than enough and also at the same time like she's taking care of the groceries the cooking the dog your dog like
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
and all the while like this is paying off your mortgage it's only in you and your mom's name like you aren't married like and if they do get married they'll get a prenup the house will be his regardless of how long they're together which again is fair if that's you know what it is but she's not investing money then but she's never wanted to live here
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Well, and it's like, would he be putting any into the renovation? Because, like, $150,000 to $200,000, like... That's a lot. That sounds like the entire renovation.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
So, like... It does. What is he contributing? Yeah. And I recognize, like, this is a gift. Like, being able to just buy out your mom's house for paying the rest of the mortgage, like, that is a gift. But also, at the end of the day, like, if the mom kept the house forever, that would have been his inheritance kind of regardless. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It's almost like he just looks at her like a little sugar mama, like this is someone that just subsidizes the life I want to have and live. Yeah. And maybe he could have done it on his own and taken over the mortgage. And that's cool. I think you should let him. I think you should let him.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, no, take the trash out. Take it out. Take it out. No comments from OP, but this is just, you know, 23 hours old, so we'll keep our eyes peeled. Very active previously in the Too Hot Takes subreddit.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Check them out. Check them out. That has been good. We're going to Costco after this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, there's a post. Someone posted this on our subreddit and goes, in honor of the coconut story, I present to you the Jolly Rancher story. So if you do want to learn about the Jolly Rancher story, it is on Patreon. I read it with my mom and my little brother. And it got quite the reaction. But I'm warning you, I did that one and I did the Doritos story on Patreon.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
You guys couldn't handle the coconut story here, really. Some of you can. Some of you cannot. I posted a picture of my Instagram the other day with like a coconut and people were like, I'm traumatized. Trigger warning. And I'm like, it's OK. It's just it's a drink. I loved it. But it had a big hole in it. And I think people were a little scarred.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And so OP did comment on that, though, and goes, you are right. I didn't think something could be this bad. This is way worse than the coconut story. Wow. So don't worry. Not reading Jolly Rancher today.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
150 hot dog. 150 hot dog and drink. I know the CEO I think is retiring too. So get your $150 hot dog and drink combo while you can. He said if someone changes the price, he'll shoot them.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Let's go. I love that. Oh, OK. Yay. Yeah, we out here. We out here, fam. Making our mark on the world. Helping people one post at a time.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
and people did help op top comment on this post this is not the guy for you five years and he buys a house against what you wanted that's not what a guy who loves you wants to make you happy and wants to build a life with you does he's not forging a partnership with you he's just with you that's it that's a really good way to put it You aren't the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Why would you put your own money into something you have zero equity in? He's the asshole for expecting you to pay for the renovations. Agree. You sound like a pot of money to him, not a partner to share life with.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And that follows like she's paying for the house. And you're the one that's going to profit off continued sales of iced tea, not me. Well, then, no, I'm not contributing.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
hmm guys tea machine's already good enough too no op i want an update on this though so if you're out there listening come back let us know but moving along yeah i'm so interested to see if she responds to you i'm sure she will i'm so curious also i forgot to call and make my dirt order your dirt order i was supposed to call and give dirt huh This episode is brought to you by Smalls.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
If you're anything like me, you want to give the cat in your life the best food that money can buy. And Smalls is the answer for that. My lovely assistant Carrie over here got all of the Smalls cat food. What'd the cats think about it?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Smalls Cat Food is protein-packed and made with preservative-free ingredients you'd find in your fridge and delivered right to your door. Give your cat the food they deserve. Head to Smalls.com and use code THT at checkout for 50% off your first order, plus free shipping. Okay. Homeowner things. It's a homeowner thing. But I wouldn't charge you for my dirt. Right, right.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, you could build sand castles if you want. I won't charge you.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Trigger warning, though, on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of abusive parents. I'm not sure exactly what we're getting into, but could maybe include essay. So if you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Markers will be in the description. Okay, so this next one, also coming from our Too Hot Takes subreddit.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It is titled, My 22 male girlfriend, 23 female, is secretly visiting my abusive parents with our son, 3 male, and doesn't understand why this upset me. We had a huge fight, and I don't know what to do now. I didn't have an easy time growing up. My childhood was so fucked up that I sort of just put it all in a mental box and left it at that.
Two Hot Takes
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Needless to say, I left my parents as soon as I could and then went no contact and haven't seen them since. There's several reasons I went no contact, and my girlfriend seemed understanding enough when I told her that I didn't even want to tell my parents about their grandson. I don't want my son around these people." I don't want my girlfriend around these people.
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And above all, I would never leave any child alone around these people. My girlfriend doesn't know about what exactly my father did to me and my sister, but I also feel like she doesn't have to know in order to respect my wishes. Yesterday, my sister texted me a picture of our parents' dog. In the background was my son's shoes.
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Our mother uploaded it on Facebook, where I have them blocked, but my sister recognized the shoes, though mainly was concerned about them even having a kid over. My girlfriend and I both work, she only part-time, but we have always had someone to watch our child, either my sister or my girlfriend's family, so it's not like she has had to bring him there to have someone watch him.
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This was a deliberate decision that she should have made with me. I talked to my son about it, and turns out he's been there several times unsupervised, alone with my father. Apparently, nothing happened, but I was understandably angry and confronted my girlfriend as soon as she was back home, which of course led to a huge fight.
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She left crying and went to her parents' house, and later her mother came to pick up my son, which I refused, which led to a fight with her mom too. My girlfriend texted me asking to talk later today, and I know I can't keep my son from her. I also don't want to, but I don't want to go into our conversation unprepared, so any advice is welcome.
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I also feel betrayed and still very angry, and I'm honestly ready to break up over this. But my son is very upset and anxious because he heard our fight, and I'm just at a complete loss, and I don't know how to handle this. Please help.
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vibe with them like i think it's pretty obvious that that it was a serious thing i don't like i just can't believe she would do that behind his back and not even talk to him about it that's insane yeah this is a baby this is a three-year-old who we don't even know how long he's been going over there yeah communication levels aren't that great at three if something happened would he even be able to know it's bad or communicate with you that it happened
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This is insane. This lady is straight garbage. To not talk with your partner. One, how do they get in communication? Yeah. How did you even feel comfortable to leave your kid alone over there? Your partner has said to you, I don't have a relationship with my parents. I'm no contact with them. I have them blocked everywhere. What happened when I was a kid was terrible. End of story, lady.
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Deliberately going against probably the very core of your partner. Yeah. At the expense of your child. Like OP was like, my dad shouldn't even be around kids. Like after what he did to me and my sister. Yeah. What the dude? Trash. Throw away.
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And people are going to be like, oh, give her a chance. She's lying and putting her kid at risk. get any updates with this one like i'm gonna not sleep let's get into the comments and let's see what we got here so top comment was deleted it was removed by a moderator
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OP did respond to it, though, so I'm just going to read what OP says, even though I don't know what the top comment at the time was. I panicked when he said it was something he wasn't supposed to say. She apparently told him it was a surprise, and that's why he had to say he was at her parents.
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So she instructed the three-year-old kid to lie about where he was, and... What does she gain out of this? I'm very confused about why she's invested in even doing this. Are they giving her money? Genuinely, are they giving her money? Are they paying her? I don't understand.
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OP goes on to say, I wouldn't have been this upset had she cheated on me, but she involved him, made him keep a secret and put him at risk. And the more I've been thinking about this, the more I feel like I just can't trust her anymore, especially if something did happen and he just doesn't realize and I haven't asked the right questions or he doesn't have the vocabulary.
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I'm blown away. I'm absolutely blown away. And we have a lot of comments from OP. There's just there's so many. So I will be sure to put the links in the description. So if you really want to go deeper than what I can get into, they're there. Someone does comment, Yeah. And OP goes, even without the whole story, I always felt like she knew enough about my childhood. I can understand it too.
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Her mother also told me not to hold grudges, and my father apparently has issues with his liver. Wonder where that's coming from. So I should just take the first step and forgive them. But this is my decision, and she kept it a secret for months and essentially told my son to lie to me. I was so angry. I didn't even think about any other reason why she would leave him there. But you're right.
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Okay, you ready? This first one is coming from r slash relationship advice. It's two hours old. Wow, she did it again. It is titled, Am I overreacting? We, 29 female and 27 male, bought a house. But when he posted on social media, he made it seem like he bought it alone.
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I mean, I just kind of assumed that she would visit them to rebuild that relationship because we have babysitters.
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Yeah, so there are a couple more comments and we do end up getting an update.
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Update is coming five days after the original post. And this is really, really recent. The original post is only 11 days old. But a lot of people are trying to be like, you need to address custody. You need to address supervised visitations. You need to really get after this. Mm-hmm. A lot of people are also like, do you have documents of the abuse from your parents?
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Yeah, my sister and I have no proof of what happened. And she wanted to get financial aid because of her PTSD because it makes it harder for her to work. But her lawyer said it would be hard to get anyone to believe her slash us. She gave up on that eventually. Someone also points out this fact that she taught your son not to trust you.
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That would be a reason to drag her us to court for a custody agreement where she also has to sign that she will never go to your parents behind your back with him.
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Like, fall on the sword a little bit, lady. Yeah. Like, you would rather... Again, just begs the question, why and for what? Because you would rather lose your partner and put your child at risk of lifelong damage, PTSD. For what? What?
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You're being a neglectful, terrible... Okay, that might... No, no. She is being a bad parent.
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I'm like, some people might come for me on that. But like, no, honestly, maybe that's a hot... Maybe it's a hot take for some people. Like, give her... Oh, she's not that bad. Give her the benefit. No. Like, she knows. And now she especially knows. But let's see if she apologizes in this update. Let's see what we get into here. First of all, thank you for all the comments and input.
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I didn't feel like I could even think when I made my initial post, so it was good getting different perspectives. This will be a long post. I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. I did write that my girlfriend and I would talk the same day I posted, but we didn't because I needed to sort myself out, and I think she did too.
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She's been avoiding me ever since and requested we talk at her parents' place, but I didn't want that, so we didn't get to talk until yesterday while my son was at my sister's. Apparently, in September last year, my mother reached out to my girlfriend on Facebook, asking how me and my son were doing. My mother is a very intelligent woman, but highly manipulative.
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She convinced my girlfriend to visit them because my father is ill. My girlfriend said, She didn't tell me because she knew I'd say no, and she wanted to see what kind of people my parents were. She brought our son, but didn't leave him alone at first. But their visits got fairly regular, and she became comfortable with leaving him with my parents. He seemed fine, even seemed to like it there.
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I, 29 female, and my partner, 27 male, bought a house in October 2024. I don't post on social media, but he does. He posted the house we bought, but there was no mention and no pictures with even a slight image of me. It seemed as though he was trying to give off the impression that he bought it himself for himself.
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So she didn't feel like he was in danger. The first time she left my son fully alone was when she went Christmas shopping. I think from what I told her about my childhood home, she expected a house of horrors, but according to her, the place was clean and fixed up, the dog was healthy, and my parents were nice. The thing is that she knew something happened to my sister.
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I never told her what happened to me, which I now see I probably should have done. She doesn't see predators everywhere like I do, and when my son didn't report anything negative, she saw no issue taking him and leaving him there. It's pretty clear that she doesn't know anything about abuse and what it can look like.
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I don't understand how she could think she'd be able to spot the signs with this little knowledge. My father has been in contact with children most of my life, and while I don't know if he's done anything to them, my sister always said he knew how to make children feel at ease. Both my parents
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are very methodical and calculating so I don't blame her for believing them but I blame her for not discussing this with me. She went to visit them after talking to my mother for a few days. Meanwhile, I've lived with them there for 17 years and somehow she thought she knew better than me.
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Even when I told her some details about my childhood, she still tried to push supervised visits, saying my father was ill and my son had a right to meet his grandparents, which I don't agree with at all. The thought of children being around those people makes me sick, but she seems reluctant to agree to officially limit their visitation rights.
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I'm like, okay, here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm not ready. Actually, I'm not ready. I was stressed about these.
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I'd need her agreement, however, unless I want a court case. I also tried to explain why this felt like a betrayal. Because this is not just about her putting my son in danger. It's also about her going behind my back for months.
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six months seven months oh yeah seven months seven months like that's not just like okay i tried it for a month and okay now it's be yeah seven months Insane. What else would she be capable of? Then she told my son to keep the visits a secret, which is exactly what abusers say too.
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She did apologize, saying she made an honest mistake and feels like I'm blowing this out of proportion and that her parents think so too. Guess what? Doesn't fucking matter what her parents think.
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Besides, our son is fine, and I shouldn't have raised my voice at her mother and should be more grateful for what her parents have done for me and us over the years. Which I am. I owe them, sure, but that doesn't mean they can just overrule my parenting decisions or get so involved.
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I feel like neither her nor her parents trust me or take me seriously, and it's so frustrating when the mother of your son is pretty much actively working against you. Again, I know it's my fault for not telling her everything, but I never thought she would do something like that. My past never really affected me much anyways.
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I never felt like there was a reason for her to know all of the details. Honestly, I don't know if anything is resolved. I know why she made the choices she made, but I don't feel like she understands why I was and still am upset. She left after bringing up her mother because I got angry, and I know I shouldn't have, but I reveal something so big and just still don't get taken seriously?
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I want us to work, and she agreed that it would take a lot of work to get back to us before all of this, which I'm not sure is even possible." I apparently deeply upset her and scared our son. True, I never wanted us to fight in front of him like that either. And I angered her family. I think for me emotionally, all feelings for her vanished the moment I found out.
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Everyone in the comments was congratulating him, which is nice, but it kind of hurt my feelings because it's our house with both of our names. And if anything, not that it matters, and I would never throw it in his face, but I paid the $13,000 deposit on this house by myself. And I know that probably sounds petty, but my feelings are hurt.
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So that's kind of where I'm at now. I wish we could make it work for his sake, but I don't want him to grow up with dysfunctional parents or with his parents fighting every day. So if this doesn't work out, I'll need to get a lawyer. I'm willing to put in the work needed for us to stay together, but I've been doing a lot of thinking. We were so young when we started dating and had our son.
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I'm not sure if I ever thought about us staying together forever. I only stayed because I was living with them, and then I stayed because I didn't want to be a shitty teen dad, abandoning my son and the girl I loved. Because I really did love her, I think. Also, I am partially responsible for her being pregnant in the first place, before he was even born.
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As for my son, I have talked a lot with him these past few days. I had taught him about touch and what's okay and what isn't, so I just hope it's true that nothing happened. He has also apparently not seen anything inappropriate. Our fight got to him though and he knows I was sad.
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He knows his mom is sad too and I hope him and I talked it out enough and that my girlfriend gets to talk about it with him too. We might just sit him down or something. I'll need to talk to her about that.
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Like, yeah, there's still like a brush off versus a true, genuine. I'm sorry. I really fucked up. I was wrong.
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No, and I think it's really... I guess, like, it's kind of naive for her, too, to be like, well, you know, we went over there a couple times, and the first few times he said he had fun. Yeah. Of course they're going to make him feel safe and fun at first.
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Likely not. But if you look at the stats of, like, children that... And this is... I'm sorry, you guys. This is a little bit of a darker story, but I do think it's important to address. Like, if you do look at the stats of people that hurt kids...
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He doesn't usually post to me, and I've never fussed about it, but the house post kind of stung a little bit. Do I accept that it's just social media and not that big of a deal?
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also something to take from this story it absolutely needs to be had like this is why my brother and his wife have always talked with their kids like very openly about body parts they've never like yeah given body parts like names like oh you're cookie or things like that because that can actually hurt your kids in making sure they're safe against these kind of things yeah and obviously you have it in age-appropriate ways right yeah
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But I'm also wondering, because OP does have a comment here, giving a little bit more detail about what the girlfriend knew. Because people are being like, she didn't know. You never told her. You never, like, and it's like, but he did. So he does provide that context and he goes, her and I have talked about my childhood prior to my first post.
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She knows enough about my living conditions to know it was unsafe for any child. She knows my father is a violent alcoholic and she knows a lot about the crazy shit my mother pulled over the years. She knows my sister has a PTSD diagnosis and she knows my father touched her. This is everything she knew. And I honestly think that should have been enough. Her parents also know about most of this.
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Yeah. And I'm wondering if because she thinks she has a son, if it's different.
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Like, would you leave a three-year-old, your little daughter there? And if the answer for that is no, you shouldn't leave a little boy there either. Because sick, twisted, despicable people... A lot of times don't give a fuck.
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No. And I don't know if you can trust her. I think, unfortunately, you do need to get... Even if she said it. I think you need to get a custody agreement in place. I think you need to get a lawyer. I think... I think this kid needs to be protected from these people. And his dad is only one person. Like, he's got another parent.
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And unfortunately, if mom wants to take him over there, like, when they break up, she could do that if he doesn't get something in place.
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So time to lawyer up. I mean, this little three-year-old, this little baby. I know. And if mom is going to be insane, garbage... Just get it in writing.
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But there's so many stories like I think there's are those tough ones to read. Yeah. Like, does everyone want to hear them? No. But like if it opens people's eyes and like makes sure people are like safer with their kids or, you know, like they're important conversations to have sometimes.
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For sure. Okay, moving on to this next one. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Setting Limits to Do Some of the Housework Slash Chores When I've Just Been Diagnosed with Cancer? Oh, my God. OK. I am a 41 year old female married to a 48 year old male. We've been married for almost 13 years and have three kids, 10, nine with autism and four.
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We have settled in a typical gender roles like I cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop weekly and take care of the kids, like taking them to all their appointments, picking them up from school if they are sick and taking the day off of work if they are sick. He does the outside stuff, trash, landscaping, and shoveling, for example.
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Over time, though, he is doing less of the outside stuff, and I find myself taking over those roles, taking out the recycling or bringing in the bins, because it will just pile up or stay outside for a week. Or he has outsourced them, landscaper, so he no longer does these chores while I still do all of my wifely duties.
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Well, and it's also the fact that he doesn't post her on social media at other times either. So he just wants to look like he's not in a relationship. And now he's this well-established guy that bought a house.
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My husband's main responsibility in the morning is that he gets the kids ready and sends them to school on the bus. He then goes downstairs to work from home. When I come home from my full-time job, the house is a disaster from the morning routine. I asked him to at least do dishes, but he said he doesn't have time.
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So I have to clean the house all while I get the kids off the bus in the afternoon. This has been the normal routine for the past year. I also have a part-time job on the weekends as well, five hours each day. It's great for extra money and has afforded us a down payment for our house and several trips to Disney. He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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I know right now I am able to do things, but I will be starting chemotherapy soon, end of February, beginning of March, and I am not sure how I will feel. I am going to take time out from both jobs because of this. My husband is under the assumption that I will be sick for a few days where he has to do everything, but I will be able to continue doing my routine once I am feeling better.
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I have already told him, don't expect it, and I will do what I can, but he is not convinced. I am willing to continue to do some of the chores, but not everything that I've been doing. Am I the asshole for expecting my husband to pick up the slack while I'm going through cancer?
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Throw them away. Throw them away. Take the trash out. Throw them away. Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce. Okay. Hear me out for a second, everyone. Let's take cancer out of this. OK. Yeah. Take the cancer out.
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This woman has a full time job and a part time job. Yes. He works from home, which I'm sorry, like the freedom and like the stuff you can do when you work from home. Absolutely. It's very different than going in full time hours to an office. He gets the kids up in the morning. They create utter chaos. He can't contain them.
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He probably leaves them to their own devices and says, get yourself ready and then let's get you on the bus. And he can't even do the dishes while he works from home because he doesn't have time. You still get a lunch break, my good sir. Put a couple dishes in the dishwasher. Like, why are you letting your kids run amok? I'm sure you haven't started work yet. You're getting them ready.
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Like, be a more present parent. Yeah. He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself. Okay. You wanted to be a parent, no? You signed up for three kids too, yeah? Mm-hmm. What?
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Well, and also the fact that, like, she was the one that put down the 13K deposit, which, like... that percent down, that money down, that's the reason you get the house. It's not because you can make the payments because this is why so many people are stuck renting.
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No, he can't do it now. Like, this is insane to me. I'm I'm sitting here and I'm just like dumbstruck. I'm truly dumbstruck that this man is like, oh, well, it's only going to be a couple of days. If I got cancer and my partner isn't like you're not doing anything. What can I do? How can I help you? How can I make sure you're feeling good? Like.
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No, I would not be able to stay in a relationship like this. And I think that illness like is really going to highlight this for her. It's hilarious to me. that people will act like this in relationships because, like, you realize she's not going to stick around forever. No one...
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No one, I'm going to put faith in this, that there's not anyone out there that will put up with such disrespect, unequal treatment, XYZ, et cetera, forever. She's going to realize eventually there's going to be a straw that breaks the camel's back. You get divorced. You realize you're going to have to do 100% of that 50%, right?
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Like when you get divorced, like you're going to have to take care of the kids without her. You're going to have to cook. You're going to have to clean your own house. Yeah. I think he's gotten too comfortable and I think he needs to be rocked out of the boat.
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Because at the end of the day, if you don't make this work and if you don't start being a more equal partner, you're going to have to be responsible for 100% of your shit.
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You don't even like watching your kids when your wife works a couple extra hours.
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And then he can't even be bothered to do dishes. Yeah. Can't even be bothered to help cook a meal. You're at home. You got a head start. Start boiling the water, bitch. What are you doing?
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It's like this scam of like, okay, you need so much down and then you have to make the mortgage payment, which is like, okay, that's hard to save and get to. So it's like, She's not even being like, this isn't even a fair setup because she put all the money down.
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I have a lot of faith in them. Okay. This one, big yellow box. Wait, your fucking husband refuses to do more after your cancer diagnosis? All caps. He wasn't pulling his own weight before the diagnosis. And now he's expecting you to do everything while you get better from cancer? Oh, hell fucking no. This is cause for divorce. Also, men don't help around the house, they do their half.
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Do not try to keep the house clean, do not grocery shop, or do a load of laundry in between vomiting. Men are more likely to leave a woman when they're sick, so be prepared for some truly asshole-ish behavior on his part. Ignore the incels here, who will drop by and pretend otherwise. I hurt for you, OP.
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Come here. You can just have a celebrity guest take. Come on over.
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Walk behind over here. Here's the mic. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep quiet back there.
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I love you too. Bye, everybody. I told you you wouldn't like to stay.
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Okay, thanks, Dad, for the brief interruption. Huge celebrity appearance. Yeah, celeb appearance. I do just want to give a stat, though. So there is a stat here because I didn't want to just, like, I want to make sure people have the knowledge of that top comment and, like, what they actually said. So there is a study from 2009, so a couple years old. Maybe things have gone better or worse.
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I know. You guys, buckle up. I feel like some of the titles alone are just like very, what? So I feel like we are all going to be a bit enraged today. And it's okay. You know?
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I don't know. Yeah. Study revealed that 21% of seriously ill women were divorced compared to only 3% of seriously ill men.
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And the researchers did suggest that men may struggle with the rapid shift to caregiver roles and may not be as adept at maintaining the home and family, while women are better at assuming those burdens. But I think there are people and good guys and good partners out there that would not bat an eye at this.
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OP does have a little edit to add some details. Favorite quotes from my husband. This one is in regards to why he doesn't have time during the day to clean during breaks. Quote, 11 a.m. is for eating, 1 p.m. is for napping, and I can probably help at 3.30 p.m.
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Your sick wife who's working two jobs. Oh, my God. I don't know how some people keep their composure. I am so I'm like, am I crazy? Like, am I crazy? I would literally rip a bag of trash open on top of him during an hour.
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Am I like the way some people can keep their composure? They deserve awards.
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This next one said to me when I wasn't doing enough in the house, quote, you're not giving with both hands right now.
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insane we do have a couple more comments from op um op does have a counselor thank god and she told me to discuss expectations about this situation and that's when he said oh you'll only be sick for a few days she was not happy with that and yes i will reach out to family now that i know what he thinks i feel like i am letting him and my family down like i am expected to be super mom and keep it up
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In a weird way, maybe cancer was my wake-up call to do this. Yes. But damn, this is going to suck.
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Yeah. Oh. Mm-hmm. There's some other comments that I think are really, really interesting and I'm really blown away by. So OP is talking about her kids. They're the best kids in the world. So smart and sweet. I would do anything for them. My oldest does notice and make comments about dad being lazy. Yes. But I also don't want her to hate him. So I keep quiet.
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I wonder if it's general. I wonder like what his friends and family actually think.
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He doesn't clean up the house, dishes, make beds, or pick up toys, etc., so it leaves a mess for me. I know it sounds stupid, but I would like to come home and relax before the kids get home instead of picking up from the morning.
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No. And he gets to take a nap. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, I guess I can help at 3.30. So from 1 to 3.30, he's taking a two and a half hour nap every day. The luxury. I don't know. Yeah. The luxury. And it's also like, hey, you're the dad. Hey, kids, toys got to be picked up before we get on the bus. Yeah. Hey, here's your five minute warning. The bus is coming soon. Pick up your toys. Yeah.
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Even directing them to pick them up would be better. They're 10. The youngest is four. A four year old can pick up toys. Yeah. Like be a parent. Don't let them run amok.
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Yeah, to my house. Like, if you break up, I hope... This is what's so hard because, like, I get, like, you're dating, you're calling him partner. Like, there's no mention of how long they've been together in this initial post. Like, I'm going to go look at comments and hopefully we get some more context from OP.
Two Hot Takes
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What are you doing? Loser. Loser. Loser as fuck. I think we're going to get an update on this one, though. So we will keep our eyes peeled. But moving along.
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And I think it is. I really do think it is. So we'll keep our eyes peeled. Okay, this next one, it's coming from the Tuatik subreddit, nine days old, titled, Boyfriend keeps making jokes about our lack of bedroom time. What do I do? Hello, everyone. I really need some advice and would appreciate any that you have to give.
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My 23 female boyfriend, 22 male, and I have been facing some problems as far as our sex life goes. For context, back in October, I had two big surgeries. These were really hard for me as they had to go in through my back and create an incision in a major organ. It took weeks for me to heal, and I still have nerve damage as a result.
Two Hot Takes
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On top of this, I've been taking birth control for 10 years and have a very consistent cycle. However, the anesthesia used for my surgery rendered my birth control ineffective for a month, throwing off my cycle and making my hormones fluctuate like crazy. As a result of all of this, I've been extremely sensitive and have been getting easily overstimulated when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
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My boyfriend has been with me since my surgery and we have had multiple conversations about how we both feel concerning my body, hormones changing in the way that they have, etc. I have been unable to have sex as my body quite literally will not allow me to. I have an average libido and my boyfriend has a high one, so this has been difficult for both of us.
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However, starting in December, my boyfriend started making comments and jokes about our lack of intimacy to me and in front of our friends. This didn't bother me at first, but it got to a point where I felt embarrassed and guilty, and I detached myself from intimacy even further. I expressed how his comments and jokes hurt me, and he said he would stop. Recently, they started picking up again.
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Last night, he made a particularly guilting comment to me and it has left me feeling distant. I'm struggling to be any type of intimate or affectionate with him since the most recent comment. And he's getting angry with me because of that. I don't know what to do. This has been a month-long struggle, and I need advice on how to move forward.
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I've talked to my doctor, to therapists, and have communicated with my boyfriend, but nothing is working. What would you do?
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But you probably shouldn't buy a house with your partner that doesn't post you on social media and doesn't really... And I get it. Some people are like, it's social media. It's not real.
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Like, you can't have sex for a couple months. Like, I don't know, buddy. You got a hand. Like, if you need to please yourself, sure. Go for it. I understand. High libido. You know, young guy. Whatever. But to publicly shame your partner after two major surgeries going through a major organ, nerve damage, hormones out of whack, like...
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You either like this person and want to support them and be a good boyfriend. As a human being. Or, like, honestly, break up. Yeah. Break up. If you're prioritizing sex over this person that seems nice and cares about you, break up.
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No. You're not entitled to sex. Point blank. And, again, if that is a problem for you, which I... I don't know. I think it's crazy breaking up with someone over that. It's like, what happens if you're with this person, you get married, you want kids, you have kids, you can't have sex right away after having a baby. Yeah. Like, oh, guess we're not having sex soon. And like, Yeah, things happen.
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Life happens. Top comment on this one. Sex is amazing and all, but you know what's better? My partner's well-being. Yeah. Your boyfriend is being completely selfish. It would be different if this wasn't a medical issue. If my hubby was in this position, I would be too anxious about his health to be in the mood. Question, how long have you and your boyfriend been together? Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
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And Opie does respond to that. We've been together for about six months. We've been friends for about nine.
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So we do have a couple comments from Opie. None that look like they're getting into the specifics of it. The first comment OP ever replied to someone says, We have been intimate in other ways, but through our conversation, it is clear he is upset about the sex in particular.
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No. I'm like, is the address visible? All it takes is a Google image search and you can find that house.
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I understand why he is upset because he has a high libido and we had sex consistently before my surgery, but I also have been feeling immense guilt because of my own body and his comments.
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This is so weird. I don't get it. I think you got to cut your losses. I really do. I'm like, you're only six months in. Oh, absolutely. You are realizing very quickly that like,
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have yet to see that happen dude that's crazy yeah that's so crazy yeah no you got to cut your losses with this one and move on move on this is not worth it being guilted again like you should never be guilted into intimacy like yeah even if you're completely healthy Be done.
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Like- Look at the show Catfish and how they were able to track people down. Yeah. Off small details. We have no comments from OP. So no idea how long they've been together. But this is also so messy because it's like, did you do a contract that if you break up, you sell the house, but you get your, like, you get more back?
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Be done. Enough air time for this garbage. Moving along. Garbage. Garbage. OK, I am working on a work related theme right now. So I've been coming across like a lot of like work drama, work stories. But this one, I'm like, it's just so it's just a little juicy little thing. And I'm like, OK, we're just going to pop it in here before.
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Yeah, because the work one, I want to get like a really good like work professional person that's deep in it. And yeah, I like that. Trying to see who it is. So it's coming, but it's not ready yet. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's three days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for not giving my coworker a ride after he didn't spot me $1 at the vending machine?
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That's the kind of petty shit I would do. I usually give my coworker a ride on the way back from work, usually driving five miles out of my way per day to drop him off at his place because he doesn't have a car. I've been doing that for about two years now, and I haven't asked for anything. And he has never offered. Yesterday, I was at the vending machine and wanted a soda.
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I was a dollar short and had left my wallet in my car. I would usually go to get my wallet, but it takes forever to wait for the elevators at my workplace, so I asked him if he could spot me a dollar for the soda. He straight up refused and said, quote, just use your own money, man. I don't really give money to friends or co-workers. Sorry. But you take.
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He seemed upset and said I was petty. Am I the asshole? Be more petty.
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I would send a bill for the gas. Yeah. At that point, I'd be like, hey, dude, like, you can't give me a dollar. You're getting a bill for gas.
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Yeah. Because otherwise, what, do you split the house 50-50 even though you put in more initially? Yeah.
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That's karma. That's absolutely. That's truly karma. Like again, like some people really bite the hand that feeds them. Yeah. And that's crazy to me.
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But I don't know. It was just really nice. I was like, thank you for my chicken strips, man. You deserve it. You deserve those chicken strips. But it's just like, again, like I'm blown away. I'm blown away by this, like the audacity of this person.
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Why would I keep doing it then? The fact that this person hasn't even offered like, hey, I really appreciate you picking me up or dropping me off after work every day for the past couple of years. Like, Let me know how I can help. Like, should I start pitching for gas? The fact that there was no offer. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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So that's like this person is entitled, has a lot of audacity and just you fucked up over a dollar.
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Oh, it's good. It's good, though. Yeah. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. You asked him for a small favor and he refused and shamed you. You have no obligation to keep offering him a ride, though you should know that this will drastically deteriorate your relationship and they will make a big deal out of it. OP responds, thankfully, we work in completely different departments.
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And I wouldn't care. I literally wouldn't care. Like, let him run his mouth. Yeah. Like, oh, he stopped giving me rides because I wouldn't borrow him a dollar.
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I know. My brother did this. He bought a house with his girlfriend and they literally broke up like six months later. And luckily they they were able to get out of it and like they actually made like 10k each on this house. Oh wow that's awesome. Which was great but it's like it doesn't always go like that sometimes you lose value.
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No. Moving along. Weirdo. So this next one is coming from r slash am I overreacting four days old titled, am I overreacting for being upset that my boyfriend canceled our romantic dinner to take his mom and sister instead? Basically what the title says, my 24 female boyfriend, 26 male of three years had told me over the weekend that he made reservations for a romantic restaurant on the lake.
Two Hot Takes
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Then he texts me, quote, I'm going with my mom and sister instead. Now, normally, I'm pretty understanding, but this is weird, right? He kind of just brushed me off with a, quote, well, they really wanted to go. So yeah, sorry. I have no problem with him spending time with his family, but this was supposed to be our date.
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Not to mention I had to prepare and pack everything since he lives about 45 minutes away from me. Now he's going to enjoy a romantic dinner with his mom and sister, and I'm going back home to be by myself. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?
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I think it's weird, especially, like, OP calls this a romantic restaurant on the lake. Yeah. He made this really cute intentional plan for his girlfriend, like, we're going on this really cute date. Yeah. And then mom and sister all of a sudden, like, they want to go. So it's like, okay, well, now I'm taking my mom and my sister to this romantic restaurant on the lake.
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Sounds a little inappropriate. I'd be at least suspicious. Odd. And, like, okay, you can have a nice dinner with your mom and sister, great, but, like, you had plans with your girlfriend. Yeah. Hey, mom, sister.
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Sorry, like, I'm busy. Well, let's go the next night. Yeah. I'd love to go get dinner with you guys, but I have plans. Yeah, like, why are you letting them sabotage your relationship?
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Yeah. And that's a good point. Like, there's not any of that comments. Like... It sounds like they're not visiting. Yeah. So, again, weird. You would skip out on your girlfriend. Yeah. Top comment. No, this is weird. Yeah. Canceling a romantic date to take his mom and sister instead with zero discussion? That's not just inconsiderate. It's straight up dismissive.
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Spending time with family is great, but he could have made separate plans with them instead of pulling a last minute swap like you were never a part of the equation. You have every right to be upset. And this wasn't a small change. It was a complete disregard for your plans together.
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Next comment. Yep. My ex would do this all the time. Insert people into our plans or straight up change them for other people. So concerned about what other people wanted and not leaving them out, but no regard for me. I feel like this is the same situation. He probably mentioned it to his mom and sister and they were like, wow, that sounds really cool. You should take us some time.
Two Hot Takes
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And he just buckled over and said, yeah, let's go this day. I have reservations. Then said sorry to girlfriend. So weird. So gross. You are not his priority.
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I don't know. You don't see each other much, and she lives 45 minutes away. Mm-hmm. That's a hike. And it's all planned to work out now. Like, you have a whole thing. So, OP does have a little bit of an update on this post. Thank you all for the advice. I've read all of the comments, and I went ahead and pressed the issue a little further with him.
Two Hot Takes
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To respond to some questions in the comments, do you get along with his family? His family and I get along pretty well. We've been on trips together, gotten each other gifts for holidays and birthdays, the whole nine yards. I have always had a creeping suspicion that they didn't like me because when I come over, they are super passive and don't really engage in conversation with me.
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When I ask my boyfriend, he says that they're just reserved and shy. I think they just don't like that the only man in their life has a girlfriend. Bingo. Another one of these situations. Next response from OP, is he cheating on you? Yeah. I can confidently say he's not cheating on me. All right.
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He just has this weird relationship slash mama's boy thing going on that has always slightly bothered me. Yeah. He literally goes out of his way to show his appreciation for them. Sometimes it's endearing, but sometimes I feel like I'm on a back burner. Now he said he understands where he went wrong and doesn't want me to feel like I'm the last option.
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Apparently he's been canceling plans on them for a while, so he felt bad when they expressed interest in going to dinner with him tonight. Just them three. Like it could have been a nice four.
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Versus like, fuck you, you're not going at all. I will be putting my foot down about the mom and sister thing. Like, seriously. His sister is older than me and he treats her like she's nine years old. Thank you to all the women... and men sharing their mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law stories. You've given me confidence to stand up for myself. Also, thank you for the laughs.
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I tend to make light of situations. Your concern brought me some joy today. It felt crazy, but you all made me realize I need to stand up for myself right now.
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Just stick to your plans. Also, just because you've been canceling on them doesn't make it right for you to then cancel on your girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. Find a new date. Quit canceling on people. Yeah.
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quit over committing yourself and being a people pleaser like that's something I've really noticed where it's like I would commit because I didn't want to tell anyone no but I was so over committing myself to the point like I'm burnt out I'm not showing up and being present at any of the things because I'm like I'm tired I'm stressed like it's okay to say no yeah it's okay to advocate for yourself it's okay to not be peer pressured or feel you need to like show up for everyone at the same like
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Set boundaries. Take a breather. We have an update, though. Ooh. Another one. I wasn't going to update, but I am livid.
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To clear it up from the beginning, his mom and sister knew that we had a date. Oh, my God. Okay. We had a serious talk about his family and how I need him to start stepping up more. I told him I won't be option number three for my entire life and threatened to leave if that was the case. He understood, agreed, and we moved on.
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He said his mom was just stressed about work and wanted to talk to him. Sure. Told him to enjoy his dinner and everything. Fast forward a few hours later, during supposed dinner time. I'm on FaceTime with him again and wondering why he's not at the restaurant. His mom and sister fell asleep. They literally just fell asleep. Here I am, literally begging for this man for one day a week to see him.
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And his mom and sister, who live with him, fell asleep. They live with him?
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I told him straight up that they disrespected his time and did all these theatrics for nothing. So yeah, that's the update. Thanks for all your tough love and good advice. I have a lot to think about today. Really, even the mean comments were good. I don't normally talk to people in real life about my relationship, so I appreciate the little bits of advice.
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Very odd. This is sus to me. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it, though. You guys, you go let us know. Top comment on this one. OK, so he doesn't post you other times either. He wants to appear single. Yeah. Next comment down this. He wants women to think he is a single homeowner, a very eligible bachelor at 27.
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Why don't you just go wake their asses up? Yeah. Also, like, what time was this dinner reservation for? Probably like six because Opie was going to go right after work. So it's like, OK, 6 p.m. dinner reservation. They are not going to bed at 6 p.m. Yeah. They're not likely going to bed at 7 p.m. They fell asleep, both of them. Both of them.
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This is, this is getting goofy. Yeah. There's, I was not, the fact that you really, you brought this to my attention. You're really pointing this out. And I'm so curious. This might have to be the poll on this one. It might have to be the poll if we think he's cheating.
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yeah it's okay yeah it's not our drama we just have to remember that at the end of the day it's not our drama we just get to vicariously live through these people a little bit and it's the tea without it actually burning you whoa have you said that before no wow morgan maybe Friends, it's been 200 plus episodes. I'm not sure.
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You live together. Go knock on the door. Yeah. Also, the fact that they live together is even more so like, why did you cancel on your girlfriend? Yeah. You live with them. Yeah. He's 26. Sister's 25. Mom is probably 50. Talk to her at any point. You get these people basically all week. Yeah. And you only see your girlfriend one day a week. Girl, break up. I don't care if he's cheating or not.
Two Hot Takes
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At this point, you shouldn't be begging your boyfriend to spend time with you. Your boyfriend of three years. Break up. Break up. This is stupid.
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your girlfriend who lives 45 minutes away instead of your family that you live with wow i can't believe she just like casually dropped that little additional info like later in the comments yeah well and there's more there's a a few more comments from op 100 as this is normal behavior for him i don't think he's cheating to be honest i think he just loves them that much um
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He does not see them as much as we would think because he does have a very demanding like blue collar job. It's his dream job. And he doesn't live with them because he needs money. It's more so they actually need money from him. He makes decent money. I think they are in his ear making him feel guilty. That being said, I'll take myself on a date tonight instead.
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OP is saying, I think therapy might be the route I'll take. Yeah. Which, hey, you've been together three years. If you're willing to see if it can get better, give it a shot.
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It's insane. Yeah, they rely on him financially, emotionally, etc. I don't think it's a big deal breaker, but the principle is why I'm upset. I will definitely keep reminding myself of this.
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Comment that it was such a huge accomplishment for you both to buy this home together and that you are so happy to share in homeownership with your life partner. Then make a similar post, but mention and tag him in the way you wish he had done so it shows up on his followers' feeds.
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I wouldn't be able to do it. And I think it's giving you a preview of, like, after three years, if you're not being prioritized over... mom and sister for just an average date night, when will you be prioritized? Yeah. It's not going to magically change when you get married. No. And, like, I just... I don't want to fight for someone's attention.
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Like, I have had issues, like, early on in some relationships where, like, they didn't really have clear boundaries with their parent. Like, that's not something they ever really needed to have. And so issues arise and they would, like... It wasn't even like things that like would require like taking my side over. But I was prioritized and that was an issue.
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And it was hard establishing that boundary because it was a muscle that had never been flexed. Yeah. But after you get over that hump, it does get better. Like it is healthier. It's more constructive. Like you do have to be uncomfortable at sometimes to grow.
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Things do change. People grow. You gotta gotta move on. Live a little. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm adding in one last one, you guys. Don't hate me. But this is one, the title alone. And we just need, I feel like we need to end really like breaking these stress balls. Really trash. Yeah, because I'm like, I don't know if I have another theme for this one. So I'm like, I got to get it out.
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I got to get it out. Yeah. So last one. Coming from Am I Overreacting, four hours old. Am I overreacting? My boyfriend said I'm the kind of girl that guys sleep with but don't marry.
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I, 23 female, and my boyfriend, 27, have been dating for three years. Yesterday, we were watching this dating show. There was this beautiful girl he pointed out saying, oh wow, she looks like marriage material. Hearing that, I asked him, quote, what about me? And he went, quote, you are the kind of girl guys sleep with and not marry. Deadass to my face. I was really shocked when he said this.
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Someone replies back, I bet he deletes it. And that is very telling.
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But then, next second, he just laughed, saying it was a joke. I got really upset because it's the first time I've heard something like that, and we got into an argument.
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Initially, he said he was sorry, but then the more we argued, the more he got offended, asking me why I was so sensitive, as what he said can be taken as a compliment, since guys usually go for attractive women, and I was one of them. He said it's a good thing not being able to commit and have your heart broken. What about me and these three years?
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I hadn't tried talking to him at all today and he's been constantly texting me saying sorry and he will take me out for food. He ended up coming to my college an hour ago and said I shouldn't be sensitive over a joke that was just a passing thought. I don't know if I'm overreacting by keeping my distance. My boyfriend has made some tasteless jokes in the past, but this wasn't it for me.
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I don't... Are they actually dating? Like, if you asked him, am I your girlfriend? Or... How do you spend three years with someone and then to their face say, you're not the marrying kind. You're just the kind of girl guys sleep with and don't marry. That's just like a very cruel thing to say. What are we doing here?
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I mean, OP's 23, started dating when, you know, 20, and he was 24. Yeah, I mean, that is pretty young. But, like, if you're not... It's okay if you just want to date someone to just date, but, like, it doesn't seem like that's OP's mindset. Right, yeah. And I think most people do date with, like, the intention of, like, long-term commitment at the end of the day. Yeah, absolutely.
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Come on. Come on. Which this is so interesting. So there's two comments from OP about this post. I don't know if I would call it bragging, but I'll say that he does like to post nice things or achievements or traveling type of content. And no, he doesn't post to me those other times either. But I may just be taking the house part more personal. I am on the deed.
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So, this is really confusing. I can't even... I can't even get past this. Like looking at someone on TV that you don't know being like marriage material. What do you, you don't even know that person. So that's based on a physically objective attraction you have or whatever. Subjective, not objective. Like you're saying, oh, she's marriage material. Why?
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Like that's giving, you know, it's giving the same energy as like a guy being like, oh, she's a breeder. Yeah.
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That's a thing? It's such a thing, especially if, like... Like, good birthing hips? If, like, she's tall or athletic. Oh, my God. Ew. Like, oh, she's such a breeder. Like, our kids would be, do you want... Like, eh.
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Or I'm attractive enough for people to fuck but not marry? Yeah. Either way, the math isn't mathing. And then to brush it off as a joke... It's not funny. I'm not laughing. And I said we were going to get mad enough to pop them.
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If it wouldn't have been you, it would have been me. Because I... That banana.
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I said, I said this story. And it did. Top comment on this one. Just tell him he is the dumping kind and move on. Yes. That part. Someone goes, come on. You know the answer here. And OP replies to that, only comment we have from OP on this one. To be honest, I tried telling my friend and she said it's some guy humor and I shouldn't be too offended.
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And take it as a compliment, which is why I'm confused. It's not the first time he's made backhanded compliments and I usually just get upset for a little time before forgetting, but this comment just took me out for some reason.
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But then to say it about me? I just think it really is highlighting what he actually thinks of you. Yeah. And I think there's moments in life and relationships, whether it's like with partners or friends, where there's almost like that, like that slip, like where it's like, oh, like I fucked up. Like that's not that's not how I meant it. But it's like. But it probably is how you meant it. Yeah.
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And you just let it slip. Yeah. You're just disappointed or bummed you said it to me. Yeah. To my face. Deadass. Like I think it's okay to take people at their word and like he is even doubling down. Like it was a joke. I don't think he sees you as marriage material. So if that's something you want.
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Yeah. So nice. I forget sometimes, though. But that's all I got. Wow. What a good mix of stories. Insane. I'm stressed. Yeah. Time to go to Costco and get some samples. I'm hungry.
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Oh, I get a box of croissants and open it up in the store and eat one as I shop.
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Thank God. Yeah. Thank God. Some people would get bamboozled. I've seen some stuff. I've seen some stuff. So I don't know. I think he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Waiting for maybe a better option, but...
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Give them to my neighbors. It's so many croissants. My gardeners. I give them away because I'm like, I can't eat them. There's, what do you get, 12 in a box? Like a dozen? It's a lot and they're huge. They're big. But they do stay good for a while. Oh. And they're so good.
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But thank you all so much for being here. We've got some amazing content on Patreon this month. The group T, Mikayla and I did in January, is up on Patreon. A lot of good stuff. So come on over. But other than that, until next time, don't forget to put your trash out. Bye.
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I literally, oh my God, this is giving me flashbacks. I don't know why this wasn't ringing alarm bells for me. I have an ex who I dated and he lived in Canada while I lived in Minnesota. So I was always like commuting back and forth. Like he didn't really come to me.
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And I would take these pictures when we would go to like science museums and we would do this and I would take the pictures and we would get pictures together too.
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The only pictures he would post are the ones that I took that didn't include me in it. And he literally did it. So that he could have another girlfriend in Canada at the same time. Yeah. This stuff is so intentional when it comes to like you're going on trips together and going to these exotic locations. Like, yeah, you're his partner.
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The fact he doesn't post one picture of you guys together when you're buying a house together.
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But he would use the excuse like, I'm not a big social media guy. Yeah. Which did make sense because he wouldn't really post. It was like one picture every three or four months. So I'm like, okay, I get it.
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We've been there. We're doing one more home ownership story vibe because this is a big trend I'm seeing right now. And I feel like this needs to be a PSA of don't get conned.
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So this next one is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit, one of our very own, 23 hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for not wanting to contribute money to home renovations? I'm so sorry this is so long, but I really need advice and I didn't know where else to go. My boyfriend, 36, and I, 32, have been together for five years.
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After a year of dating, he decided to sell the house he owned and move into an in-law suite in his mom's basement. I agreed to move in with him, but we both agreed this would be a temporary decision. Our plan was to stay there for a year before purchasing our own home together.
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I have my own savings, and we would plan to split the down payment evenly, or 60-40, depending on how much the down payment was. At the time, he made double my salary. Since then, I've been promoted and make about $20K less than him. A year later we started shopping for a house. After multiple offers we were constantly being outbid and decided to wait a little longer.
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208: Take the Trash Out
Let me know if I have, but welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.
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208: Take the Trash Out
Around this time he started talking about the idea of buying his mom's house. I did not want this. I've never loved the idea of living with his mom. She's not bad but I'd made it clear in the beginning that I would not invest my money in a home that wasn't completely ours. If we bought his mom's house we'd be responsible for all of the bills while she lived in the house for free.
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She would also be on the deed. We would talk about this a lot and I would always shut it down. He said he was going to do it regardless of what I wanted. And this was an opportunity that he couldn't skip out on. I told him that was fine if that's what he wanted. He could buy the house by himself and I wouldn't be contributing. He was well aware of this. In November 2024, it was official.
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He would be purchasing his mom's home. We switched living spaces. We moved upstairs to the main floor. His mom moved to the in-law suite. So far, it hasn't been so bad. His plan is to purchase the house for what his mom owes, and he has tossed around the idea of adding an addition to the house with a garage and an extra living space above the garage.
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Mikayla, as you know, one of our regulars now at this point. I just, I love having you. Any updates? I'm like, any updates in life?
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Or build a standalone garage on the property and remodel the inside of the house, updated kitchen, knocked down a wall, installing central air, new flooring, updated bathroom. Here's where I may be the asshole. Two days ago, he mentioned the house and the renovations. He asked me if I was willing to contribute any of my savings to the cost, estimating around $150,000 to $200,000. Okay.
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I told him no, since my name was not going to be on the deed. His reply was that it wasn't fair that I would get to enjoy all of the renovations and not contribute to any of it. I told him I'd pay to live there. I would help pay for utilities and help with the mortgage. But I wasn't going to deplete my savings for capital investment I would never financially benefit from.
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If he were to sell the house in the future, I would never get any of that money back. He told me that I wanted specific renovations done, a sliding door with a new deck off the kitchen. But when I mentioned that I thought that would be nice, his reply was that he was thinking of doing the same thing. So I assumed it was something he also wanted. He said, What? We are not married.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Hi, friends. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. So, OP does say, as a girl, if I want an exact replica, I'd buy it myself. Husband had no clue I had these earrings. It wasn't intentional on his end.
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Which that to me then is a little crazy. Yeah. Two years every day wearing these earrings. The date you met. You remember what I was wearing when you met me. Our first date, you remember exactly what I walked into that bar wearing. That's impressive.
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I was wearing a lot of, well, I had denim and then I had a white off the shoulder top.
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Yeah, that's really cute. That's so sweet. Yeah. I don't know where I was going with that because I was really cute. But you're saying I would recognize. You would. You know my rings. You know my jewelry. You just pay attention to me. I think I added a new necklace a couple weeks ago and you're like, oh, that's really pretty. Where'd you get that? You notice these things and
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I don't know if that's just a you thing or if like our listeners out there could maybe chime in on this and be like, no, my partner notices like my earrings or like if I, you know, did my hair a certain way. Yeah. But there are people out there that don't know those changes. Like their partner could chop four inches of hair off and they wouldn't notice.
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But not for two years straight. It would be like someone having their nose pierced and you said you never noticed it.
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And I will give him maybe like a bit more grace. Like Opie does here reply to someone and she's like, thank you for your words. I know marriage is not about sweating the small stuff. In other words, lying, infidelity, abuse. I know earrings can be a silly thing to have over. I wear my hair up daily. The history has been similar, which is why I asked for huggies specifically from specific stores.
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Okay. I know. We might have a lot of new listeners very soon coming in, giving the show a shot.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Huggies are like hoops that really hug your ear. And if you're saying, I want huggies from these specific stores... I mean, the odds are, like, he's going to pick something. I mean, you're really saying, like, here's the narrow path, sir. Stick to it.
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Yeah. But still, you didn't look at her damn ears over the past two years. Like, come on.
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I mean, Huggies earrings. I did. To be honest, I did have to Google just now what Huggies looked like.
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Yeah. And honestly, this sounds overall like an issue. Like Opie says here, we usually have good conflict resolution. But when it comes to his lack of romantic effort. Never planning dates, no considerate gestures, not getting me a birthday card or gift, etc.
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To not ever get a birthday card from your partner, though? That's wild. We would not have gotten the point of marriage. No chance. Call me superficial.
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Like, if you don't get me a card, at least... On my birthday?
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You know what's unnatural for me? Giving blowjobs. You know what I still do? Give blowjobs. I do it for you, babe. And that's the thing with love languages. My love language, I don't like acts of service. I know Justin does. Or like XYZ, like Justin's love language might not be gift giving, but he knows I love getting gifts. So that's what he does.
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Like at a certain point when you love someone, you recognize what makes them happy and you do it because making them happy makes you happy.
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Some people would not care. I know there's some people out there that would be like, yeah, it's a card. I'm going to throw it away anyways. Whatever. I'd rather have a rock. Like, I love a rock.
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Well, guys, we do have a little bit of an update in the comments. Ooh. OP here. Appreciate all the input. We've moved past it. And after acknowledging his blip, he was able to exchange them for a different pair and then also got me another set of earrings as an added apology.
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While this experience sucked in the moment, as many pointed out, marriage and commitment is more than unintended hurt feelings.
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Yeah. So we're going to keep loving this one. Okay. We're not leaving it. We're not leaving it. But for those out there that are not married yet and you're just dating and if your person is not getting you a card on your birthday or doing something small, little, whatever it is to make you feel special and loved, Leave them.
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Don't let the bar be in hell for you. Like you deserve it. Like you deserve to find your person who will pick you flowers and come home with like a little donut or a card or whatever makes you happy. Like your person is out there. Don't waste your time on someone who's not even going to realize how special you are and show it to you by the ways that you feel loved.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I don't know if that makes sense, but we're going to go to the next one. Okay. Okay. I think it was good. Okay. I need more wine. One of this week's partners is LiveGood. We all take supplements, or most of us should be, but that is where LiveGood comes in. It's a brand that's turning the supplement industry on its head.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And I notice I'm sleeping better, I feel better throughout the day, I don't have restless legs anymore when I'm going to sleep, and I just feel good. I'm a little upset I waited so long to get myself in check. Live Good also has organic super greens, protein powder, creatine, detox hormone products, skincare products, and again, all the highest quality.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
This next one is coming from Relationship Advice. It is 23 hours old. It is titled, How do I, 32 female, forgive my husband, 42 male, for drinking to excess on Valentine's Day and ruining our first night ever leaving our baby with a sitter?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
My favorite band is on tour and scheduled a show for Valentine's Day in a city near us. When this was announced several months ago, I excitedly suggested that we get tickets. We still had a lot of time to find a sitter that we liked and get more comfortable leaving our baby with them. Husband agreed and bought the tickets. Excitement.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
As the date drew closer, I couldn't stop talking about how much this night would mean to me. This was going to be a night for us to have fun, reconnect after months of talking about nothing else other than our baby, feel like the old us for just a few hours. Being on Valentine's Day was a secondary consideration, but of course that date holds a special meaning on top of everything else.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
We found a sitter we loved. This is a huge deal. A night out, alone, to see my all-time favorite musicians. Day of the show, husband and I both have off work and baby is at daycare. Husband makes us mimosas and breakfast. Sweet start to the day. Husband continues to drink after mimosas. Beer after beer after beer. More beer on the train to the show.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
More beer at dinner down the street from the venue. This is when I finally noticed that he isn't just excited like I am, but drunk. He asked me a question, what time does the show start again? And I answer. 60 seconds later, he asked me the same question, forgetting that we had just had the same conversation. This goes on through dinner over and over again.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Walk into the venue, I ask if he is okay and if he will make it through the show. Mistake. He snaps. Accuses me of doing drugs at some point in the evening despite being with him the entire time. Projection. Screaming at me on the street that he can't believe I'd do something like that. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm pleading with him to understand why that is such a wild thing to say. He won't listen.
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He storms out and says he's going home. I'm in an impossible situation because I can't let him go home and be the only adult to relieve the babysitter and be home alone with our baby. So I have to follow him. Pleading the whole time, begging him. He won't listen. I end up getting us an Uber because he can't figure out how to do it on his own.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Uber ride home, he tells me he is going to call my mother and tell her I did drugs. I'm floored. My mother would be wildly confused and worried if he were to do this. So I call her and explain what is going on. She hears how badly my husband is slurring. I don't think she will ever look at him the same again. We get home and I try to sleep on the couch.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
He doubles down and calls me a terrible mother right before going into the bedroom. I couldn't even look at him today, the next day, and I've said not a word to him in 15 hours. I'm disgusted. I don't know what to do or how to address this. I don't know how to forgive him. My family certainly won't. I don't know whether to address the drinking or the drug accusations or what. I need some advice.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think you were spot on the money when you said projection.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Because where would he get that? It's almost like an intrusive thought where it's like, I hope she doesn't find out I did cocaine in the bathroom. I should accuse her of doing cocaine in the bathroom. She'll never guess it was me. Like, it feels like a drunken, like...
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Which like the very first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you get told you're a bad mom. That's so messed up.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And it's hard because like, I think we've all had those experiences where you sometimes don't realize like alcohol one, like if you're on an empty stomach, it hits you different. If you're at altitude, it hits you different. If you, you know, have...
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204: Love It or Leave It..
a bunch of mixes it hits you differently alcohol is honestly one of the most dangerous things like it's it's crazy that alcohol is legal while you know other things aren't like weed now is more so widespread legal but like still not yeah it's crazy So for me, I'm like, this is why we have so many DUIs.
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It's like people think that alcohol gives them this like superhero cape and they say shit and they do shit. And we don't know our limits as well as maybe some other things. So it's like, even if he was like, I'm just going to have a Mimosa and then I had two more beers. Like, I don't think he went into this I'm going to sabotage this.
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I'm going to get fucked up because she told him again and again, this is my favorite musician. I'm so excited. I'm this, I'm that. But the reality is he did fuck up. He did say these terrible things. So how do you move forward with this? You say, hey, I don't want to be around you if you're going to drink like that ever again. Like, really, like, you cannot drink.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It was clear you couldn't handle your alcohol, you know, for whatever reason. That was unacceptable. And you need to make it up to me. Like, this is really bad. I don't know, you know, if you need to start doing AA. I don't know what it is, but, like, we should definitely pursue some counseling. Yeah.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Like there's got to be a way to mend this because otherwise you keep working and living and date, you know, being with this person, married to this person. And you just the resentment.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think, yeah. I think if... Well, and, like, again, like, alcoholism is a disease. Like, if he is saying, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm not going to do this again, and then does it, then I think you have a clear answer that, like, no, he truly has a problem with alcohol.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. We do have some comments from OP. Okay. So someone here goes, you're asking the wrong question. It's not how do you forgive him? It's how does he repair the trust that he damaged? Yeah. I need info. How was he acting this morning? Is drinking something he does a lot? Has something like this happened before?
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I'm tempted to chalk this up to baby stress, but I have no idea what your relationship is like. And OP replies, Yeah. And someone else goes, yeah, in that case, this would be an ultimatum time. This is a time he literally could have harmed your family. I'm not saying he would, but I'm saying that being unpredictable is dangerous.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I'll get you flowers. I actually was so busy working. I will get you flowers. But I did get you some really cool Apollo mission NASA coins limited edition. That's true. you did good too. But yeah, I think, you know, Valentine's day can be what you want. I think, you know, guys who are in, you know, hetero relationships, maybe put a little bit too much pressure on themselves if they're single.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
He clearly has no judgment in that situation, therapy, and he stops drinking, or you leave. And OP replies, thank you for this. I was thinking this, but was not brave enough to admit it to myself.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think it's this comment. I was going to say something, but maybe I'll read this one first because I'm just seeing a line and it might kind of pick up where I want to go. It goes, it's also pretty interesting that he held everything together all day and he didn't fall apart until just before the concert. The one thing you had really been looking forward to.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And then he decided he had to leave, which forced you to leave as well. I agree that he is definitely an alcoholic and, But I have to wonder if there was some maliciousness behind this behavior. Anger at you, distaste for the band, irritation at your job. I don't know. It just feels like he really wanted to ruin your night.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I will say, like, I think it, I don't know if it's necessarily interesting that he held it together all day. Like, that's kind of how alcohol works. It keeps compounding.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, no. And I think if he was like, because we hear this, like, oh, narcissists will ruin big things for you, whether it's your birthday, like, whatever. Like, it seemed like he was excited for it, too. He got up and made them breakfast and mimosas. Like, he started off on a good foot.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, I'm not getting the malicious vibe from this, but... No. My thing, I'm like, and I'm, here is, like, the total... A devil's advocate, what if scenario. It's Valentine's Day. They went out to a nice restaurant or a bar. They're ordering drinks. I'm wondering if he got roofied. That crossed my mind, too. I'm like, if this is out of behavior for him, like, oh, he drinks.
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Like, my sister-in-law could say the same about my brother. Yeah, Matt loves a whiskey. Matt is... He collects whiskey. Matt likes to have a beverage here and there. Justin likes his mezcal. I like wine. You like wine. But that doesn't necessarily, like...
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204: Love It or Leave It..
mean we're gonna do this like I'm genuinely wondering if something got slipped in his drink because this is so out of character and for him to come up with this wild accusation of drug use right it's very it's very like it's like mind altered just flip and that's what roof like when I've been roofied like it's it it's like that yeah you like for me I've had three roofied experiences and they've all been very different
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Three. Yeah. Yeah. The first time I was at, I was in college and I went to a party and like someone handed me this beer. And I remember I was stone cold sober and they were like, here, have this beer. And I was like, I don't drink beer. I don't drink beer. They're like, no, no, it's really, it's really good. You should have this beer.
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And I remember like taking a couple of sips and like shutting it down. Next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning. Yeah. And I, my friends tell me, they're like, you slipped on ice on the street and you just laid there. You didn't get up.
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Yeah. It's tough. I was there for one of them. Yeah. He started like projectile vomiting at your house. Oh, I thought you were just sick. You think you got you think someone put something out of nowhere?
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Yeah. He was sober. And then all of a sudden I just like hit him and just bam.
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Cause the, the girls do Galentine's day and everyone needs to celebrate with their friends if they're, if they're single. Cause those were some of my best Valentine's day with the girls.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. You know, sometimes we all blend together. But here we go. Valentine's Day was last Friday. Okay. And there was a lot of drama that came out of it. I think Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that you can either love it or you hate it. And some big feelings can come up if you're dating someone and it doesn't go as you hope. And so today's theme is love it or love through it or leave it.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Maybe that's just a hunch, but maybe this person does have an alcohol problem. We're not sure, but OP does go on to say he does abuse alcohol often, but he has never gotten mean or throw around accusations before. He would say he doesn't have a problem because it doesn't affect his career or day-to-day life, but he does drink quite often.
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we've been together seven years married for three he drinks to excess often he would say he doesn't have a problem he exercises runs races walks the dogs helps with the baby etc but drinking is a big part of his downtime actually it is the main part of any downtime he has So that you could probably chalk that into the box of alcoholism.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
So I don't know. I think like she's really just got to feel this one out. And, you know, maybe he's to a point now where he can't handle alcohol and he should cut it out. Obviously, what happened is not OK. And if he's unwilling to make changes, then. Might be time to move, move past, move on. But I really hope we get an update from OP.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think just, you know, a lot of people question their relationship with alcohol and might be helpful for other people out there to get an update on this one. But moving along, moving along. Okay, this next one I have not read. I'm just going based off the title because it threw me for a loop.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It's coming from Relationship Advice. Three days old. My 27 female husband, 28 male, secretly recorded us and sent it to my ex. I just found out my husband, 28 male of two years, secretly recorded us during sex and I'm freaking out. He sent it to my ex that he's always been openly jealous of. I knew he could go a little over the top sometimes, but this is honestly making me insane.
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But we had a really good one this year. But these people, these people are just going through it in love. And we've got a lot of Valentine's Day stories, but we've also got a lot of just relationship, you know, troubles as well. So without further ado, shall we?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
This exchange was around May of last year. I'm really scared and I'm panicking. That's... It's over. Divorce.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I just want to. I just don't know. Like, I want to just electrocute him with my static electricity because that is disgusting behavior. It's horrific. It's so not OK. Yeah. And the fact he sent it to her ex.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
That is the most insecure, toxic... So toxic. ...predatory behavior. Yep. Recording someone without their consent, sending it, which could be... I'm like, is that prosecutable by, like, revenge porn? Because I would... I, like, hope it can be classified like something like that.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And the fact they're married, like, this is a person you're supposed to trust.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
You got her. She's yours. You guys are together. You won. Ear quotes won.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And I feel so bad because like she's here again saying, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Like, yeah, you I fully I would be scared, too.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And you second, you can't. I think a lot of times with people like this, you can't confront them. You just need to pack your shit.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, let's do it. Let's dive in. Okay, this is coming from AITAH. It is six days old now. A little bit of a warm up for us, okay? Because we have addressed this in a live show before. Okay. My 26 female dad buys me a Valentine's card every year. My 28 male partner has an issue with it. We have a five month old baby and have been together for 16 months. What are your thoughts?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think that's what gets scary. And like you hear about this with like Airbnbs where like you see like a little like USB plug on the wall and it's actually a camera.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It's really the age of like people. And like I think people now feel more entitled to record you. Yeah. And it's just like.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. It's without doubt. It's a goodbye. It's a goodbye. And I don't think there's any devils advocating on this one. There's no fucking way. What he did is extremely violating, illegal, disgusting. Yeah. But of course someone on Reddit will still, you know, try. Okay. Let's hear it. Someone goes, everybody's jumping on the, your husband is an evil man bandwagon.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
But I have to ask you, do you make your husband feel less than your ex? Shut the fuck up. Do you talk about him like he was so wonderful? Do you compare them? Maybe he doesn't feel like he measures up. Don't blow up your marriage yet. Shut up. Lots of advice from people not married. Like, ask him why he felt he needed to do that. And I don't mean yelling, but an actual question.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm sorry that I said my ex did that for me one time and I talked about a present he got maybe twice. Like, yeah, it doesn't, I don't care if she said my ex is the best person I've ever met. I wish him so well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I don't record someone. No. And you being intimate and then send it off into the internet, into the void and then send it to someone like what?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
He's genuinely unhinged. OP replies to that. And OP says... Fuck you. The thing is, I never talk about my ex. Maybe a bit when we first dated, but never when we got married two years ago. I'm really not sure what caused this. Maybe they have some beef between them. I don't know. But other than that, I'm not sure. But thank you for suggesting.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think before I do, someone responds back to her and goes, this is a terrible take. Don't listen to this. Yeah. Yeah. There is nothing you could do to cause or deserve this abuse. Nope. Hell no. Hell to the no. OP does have some other comments here. Exploring my legal options sounds like a good plan.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I mean, not actually, but like, I don't know. There's another couple of comments. Yes, I kept a few screenshots.
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That's so wild. Someone goes, would there be any repercussions for logging into his Instagram? Breach of privacy or whatnot? Obviously a way smaller scale, but you don't want to give them anything to use against you in court. Maybe your ex showed it to you. Wink, wink. And Opie goes, I'm guessing there won't be any repercussions.
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He asked me to log into his Instagram to change his settings since he didn't know how to. I was looking at his DMs just to check how his sisters are doing since I haven't seen them in a while. I came across the DM with my ex completely by accident. Before I speak to a lawyer, would this actually be an issue? Something to take up with a lawyer.
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I've honestly I can swear up on a Bible, whatever. I've never looked at Justin's Instagram DMs.
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That was actually insane. Have we talked about that on the pod?
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That was the most deranged DM someone could have sent you. We should probably tell the people now just because we've teased it a little bit. Um, we were at a live show and when we have these live shows, like we're typically on a stage or a little raised platform and we have bright lights on us.
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Like you cannot, you can't really see anyone, especially if you're on a stage because like, it's just lights, like it's blinding. And someone sent Justin a DM and was like, I saw you looking at me. Yeah.
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Well, this next person definitely needs to tone it down or just never, ever do this again. I'm excited for your thoughts. Okay. Another one of this week's partners is Audible. This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? You can explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible Originals that'll inspire and motivate you. It's easy.
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Am I the asshole for wanting to divorce my husband because he added pee to my food? Oh, fuck that.
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My wine is looking a little yellow. Oh, God. OK, so I don't know if I'm losing it or what, but I, 32 female, have been married to my husband, 36 male, for four years. And I don't know who the fuck I married anymore. So he's always had this weird fetish he told me about where he wanted to pee on my face during sex. And I was like, no, just no. Never been into that. He asked a few times.
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I always shut it down. But he never pushed it, so I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong. A few months ago, I started noticing my food tasting weird. Not like bad, but like rotten. Just off. Like my overnight oats, my yogurt bowls, sometimes my brewed coffee. I thought maybe the fridge was fucking up, but everything else was fine.
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I threw out so much, thinking it was spoiled, but then it kept happening. But here's the thing. I never got sick. No stomach aches, no nothing. So I started thinking maybe he was like poisoning me slowly. I don't know, trying to drug me or something. But again, it wasn't even making me sick, so it made no sense. I was just stressed. Also, like why would he drug me?
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He's always loving, so it wasn't making sense. I told my friend about it, and she was like, you need to put a camera on your fridge, just in case, because it's just him and I living alone. Only other person coming over is our moms sometimes. So I did put the camera, because I was losing my brain. Got a tiny one from Amazon, set it up, and waited. The tiny cameras. This man, my husband...
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peeing in my overnight oats and my brewed coffee, took the lid off, peed, put the lid back on, shook it. Put it back in the fridge like nothing happened.
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I thought I was going to throw up right there. I lost it. I went full psycho. I broke his PS5, his TV. I threw his clothes outside in the snow, messed up his shoes, everything. He came home and I just screamed at him. He started crying, begging, saying that it was his fetish and he thought it was the only way to do it without me knowing. Like, what the fuck? Jesus Christ.
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Like, does he think it makes it better? No. He said he will go to therapy. We can put cameras all over the house. He will never do it again. Was saying we took vows and we have to work through this.
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I saw these people on TikTok advice asking on Reddit. So here I am needing that outside perspective. I'm at my friend's place right now. Haven't told anyone else what the fuck to do.
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He's blowing up my phone saying I'm ruining our marriage over this mistake. Oh, no, he didn't. No, like this ain't a mistake. Fucking vile. That is so messed up that he said that. And I can't look at him the same. So am I the asshole for wanting to divorce? Absolutely not. Or should I try to forgive him?
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This is... How many people can you see being like, don't divorce. Don't jump to divorce. Give him a chance.
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You took vows. He just peed in your overnight oats. It's fine. It's like... Don't let someone piss in your Cheerios.
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I think he's reacting because he's not doing anything. And so the card from the dad makes him look bad. Step up. Yeah. You're threatened because her dad got her a card. You have a baby together. You have a five-month-old baby together, which five-month-old baby takes about nine months, 14 months. They've been together 16 months. Yeah. I mean, math is that's the math. Yeah. He's got to step it up.
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way beyond what they ever thought was possible i mean yeah like this is an extreme measure he's taking to try and fulfill this well and a psychologist or psychiatrist could probably break this down too right and they're like yeah based on that you know maybe he has you know this extreme desire to have power over her like you could break that down right and get to maybe the root of why he's
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interested in that but regardless like you can have kinks that aren't normal normal air quotes right like people have a cnc kink like that's a thing there's a bunch of stories on reddit consensual non-consensual oh got it it's like a thing yeah and it's like You can find two people who are into that and that's their vibe.
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And as long as they go into it openly discussing that and having boundaries, having safe words, X, Y, Z, like that's fine. But when you make someone participate in your kink without them knowing, that's not okay.
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I literally, I don't know why this happens to me. And my girl Bree at Drybar can back me up on this. Bree, if you're listening, I know you listen, get in the comments. I talked to recently about how I like went to yoga class and someone was making sex noises.
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Today at Drybar, I'm getting my hair done and everyone's like, there's multiple, you know, people at the shampoo basins getting scalp massages. And this lady was, Starts aggressively moaning.
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Oh my gosh. Today. And I'm kind of like, I did a... Like someone's joking?
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She fucking goes, oh, I bet it sounds like I'm making sex noises. Or I bet it sounds like I'm having sex. And we're all just like, yeah, it did sound like that. Like it was so aggressive. And then she made another comment after, and I don't remember word for word, but it was something along the lines of like, no, I'd be enjoying it a lot more. Like I'd be even louder if I was having sex.
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And we were just like, we literally, me and Bree, like my hair girl, like we walk out of there and we like look at each other and we're like, She goes, that's never happened to me. And I go, that was crazy.
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Because like, yeah, it might feel good. And like I even said to like the Brie girl, I was like, oh, scalp massage feels great. Like, yeah, let's go for it.
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It was crazy. And it's like, also, you're not scared about how others are going to perceive your moans. What if that?
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You're choosing to be with this person just because you had a baby together didn't mean you needed to stay together. You're choosing to be together. Step up. Yeah.
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Well, back to this one. Leave it. Divorce. Run. Do not give him a second chance. Leave it.
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Leave it. Yeah. Top comment on this one? Run. Honestly, my fault for knowing how to read. Yeah. Next one down. Sometimes you don't know what you're in for until it's too late.
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I feel like whoever was British in the comments trying to gaslight me, you don't say mom. You say mum. Especially in Australia. I don't care if you think it's mom. It's not mom. You're saying mum. And you spell it M-U-M. That's mum. Figure it out over there. You know, you and your little, in your jumpers.
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That's what they call sweatshirts. They call it a jumper. A jumper. I love my British friends, but you say mum.
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Her name's Gemma. Oh, okay. Yeah, little cutie. Very exciting. Little cutie. Yeah. Divorce with this one. I'm going to see if there's any comments from OP.
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Um, not a lot of other comments from OP adding like additional insight. People are, you know, just being like, oh, you're going too hard on him. You must have known this before you got married, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And OP says like, I had no idea this was something he was into prior to marrying him. So potentially a little bit of a bait and switch there with that one.
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But, you know, maybe it was a new development. Who knows? Regardless, she's not OK with it. She's not into it. She didn't want to drink his piss and her oats. So divorce done. And I think we can all agree on that. I don't think we're going to have anyone saying that was too quick.
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We do. Okay, let's move along to this next one. Another one of this week's partners is Shopify. Cha-ching! When you're starting a small business, it can be so hard, especially because you know online shopping is super popular, but how do you get your stuff online? For me, when I started selling merch, I was lost. I didn't know you needed to have different sales tax depending on each state.
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Okay, so this next one. This is coming from aith1dayold. It is titled, I farted and my boyfriend got mad.
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My boyfriend, 30, and I, 28 female, were cuddled in bed under a blanket. Not doing anything. Just cuddled up. Randomly I farted literally out of nowhere and he immediately jumped out of bed and said quote okay I'm done and started getting dressed and saying stuff like this irks me. I replied, I understand, but that was completely unintentional, but also very natural.
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His response, angrily, quote, why would you fart in the bed under the blanket? I just sat there shocked with absolutely no words. At that moment, my heart shattered into every tiny piece imaginable. What should I do? Oh, no.
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It is a big response for a little fart. Yeah. Well, what if it wasn't little? No, I'm just kidding.
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Those ones are really uncomfortable. Because they just drown on. You don't know when it's going to end. Like, uncomfortable physically. Yeah. What?
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What? Justin's like, I've never heard anything about your farts, really.
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Lung farts are the funniest thing ever. Where they just... And they just like drown out. And you're like...
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No mention in the initial post. Let's go to the comments and see if we have anything.
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I don't want the first one that he... And he's heard me in my sleep. I think he just tries to make me feel better about it. Because, like, I will startle myself awake with my farts when I'm, like, half asleep. But I want the first one to be a cute toot. I don't want the first one to be, like, my explosive... Like, you know what I mean? Or, like, when it really rumbles.
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I have an aunt. My aunt Karen has been with her husband now for I don't know.
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They've been together 20 years, right? Like 20 some odd years, give or take. She still hasn't farted in front of him. This is where it comes from. I mean.
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I just don't. Who, me? I feel like you could fart right now if you wanted to. Probably. Yeah.
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I know. So OP has a lot, a lot of comments. There's so many. I'm really trying to get to something of substance, but I've been scrolling online. For so long, my hand hurts. I feel my carpal tunnel activating. My wrist has not been in neutral as it should be. I'm not seeing any, like, substance. Like, a lot of people are like, did you fart in his direction on purpose?
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I know, and I don't know why. I thought I had another story where I could have mentioned this, but that might have been on Patreon. But I completely agree. Like, I'm so traumatized from the stuff people put up with because of Reddit. Yeah. And I'm like, I hear about the nice stuff Brian does for you, and I know what Justin does for me, and the bar does not have to be low.
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No, I didn't fart in his direction. That would be disrespectful. No, I'm not lactose intolerant. I never, literally never fart on him. It was only an accident. His reaction is what bothered me. Yeah. Honestly, it's like, what are women supposed to do? Not do human things? It blows my mind out of rational thinking.
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I did not fart on him. Not at all. I think that's rude, actually. I said, excuse me. Sorry. And he still got upset at me. So it seems like OP is like, really? It was just like, hey, they're laughing under the covers, maybe making out. And like, it was just like a, an accidental, like, blast.
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bodily function like yeah it doesn't sound like she was trying to dutch oven him no and i think you know what i mean like it's truly just a oops i tooted like they were maybe giggling who knows but yeah i'm not seeing a lot here but i want to look up how often it is healthy to fart a day a lot of people are accusing op of making this up this being fake
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To be honest, I really, deeply, truly wish I was joking. The guy and I have been dating for over a year now. Oh my God. And have talked heavily about settling down. I know his pet peeves and he knows mine. I will say this. He is, in general, not a fan of any type of bodily fluids such as blood, saliva, pee, poo, etc. the sight and thought of those things upsets him easily.
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Now, with that in mind, I respectfully try my hardest and have so far succeeded to keep those things out of sight. I just did not ever, ever imagine that he would do that to me over a fart. And I barely, I mean, ever fart around him. The reaction was what shocked me the most, not necessarily the fart itself. I immediately called my mother and cried about this because of the shock.
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I'm rethinking this entire relationship. We are long distance, by the way, so you can imagine the money, trips, and time invested all this while. But all of that doesn't matter when the one person I'm supposedly trying to build a future with can't accept all of me.
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on the bachelorette trip i was asking jess you know the bride's sarah sister-in-law i was like hey how did this go like what was this what was this she's like ask me anything go go for it and i was like did you poop and i didn't even ask and she brought it up and she was like she's like i don't know if i pooped because honestly they just like grabbed the truck rolled it up and went about their way and i asked and they wouldn't tell me if i pooped but she for sure pooped she thinks she pooped and i'm like how can this guy handle that how can you have someone seriously and it's like yeah okay you can keep the the fainter up by your head like you
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And there's so many what ifs. Like so many people can't handle blood. So many people aren't squeamish. But to like then be like, Oh, I'm going to accidentally fart. Yeah. And then you get punished for it.
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So much where you're like, I'm done. I'm over this. I'm done with this.
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Like, Justin and I, we went to Amsterdam recently, and I bought this beautiful... Delft tulip holder. It's like a flower vase.
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And honestly, like that's just that's, you know, Karen and Doug, that's their love. And I don't think I'll get 20 years because it's we're year six now and I'm getting a little more brazen with my toots.
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So there is a comment here from ask Lisa how and it looks like a very well thought out comment and OP does respond to it. Let him go. I know from personal experience that a man who gets upset over something as small as a toot will end up with many more irks as the relationship progresses. Yeah. Let's say you get past the toot incident and eventually get married.
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And on the way back from Amsterdam, we had a crazy red eye. We were just so tired, so out of it. We didn't sleep on the flight. We go through customs. I end up somehow Justin lost his passport in like customs as we went back through. I thought we left the gift bag with all the souvenirs on the TSA belt and
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Are you willing or even able to not fart in bed? I don't think that's a possibility because most everyone fart shortly after getting into bed and fart again when they get up in the morning. You have no control over that. If you try to hold your gas regularly to avoid farting in front of him, you will likely end up with serious gastrointestinal problems within a couple of years.
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No man is worth having to walk on eggshells to avoid irking him suddenly. My guess is that he has been looking for a reason to break up with you for something completely unrelated to you or anything you've done. Don't contact him. If he doesn't contact you, the toot breakup has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
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If he does contact you, don't answer or respond to any of his attempts. I bet his phone messages and texts will get more desperate or turn angry. A simple I'm sorry is useless because there will be more senseless irks for him to explode about anything as time goes on. In my mid-20s, I married a man who had some quirks that I never understood.
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For the two years we lived together, he never once pooped at home. He would stop at his parents' house or hold it for 45 minutes until he got to work. On weekends, he went to Lowe's or fast food restaurants near the house to poop. There were other quirks, but it's too much to post about. Then, six weeks after we got married, he moved out one day while I was at work.
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It was stunning because we hadn't had any arguments or issues that I was aware of. He finally admitted the reason he left was because he had bought a new car for his ex-girlfriend before we met. She had the car, he was paying for the car, insurance, and all her parking tickets. He said he left so he could go through the legal process to get the car from her without me finding out about it.
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He came back home, and I helped him get it back. Yikes. Wow. Wow. After that, I realized he had a bad habit of keeping secrets from me and I didn't know who this man really was. Save yourself from all the BS of his quirks and find someone who isn't so quick to end your relationship because of something so insignificant as your bodily functions. You deserve better. Yeah.
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OP responds to Lisa, okay? Hi, Lisa. Would you believe me if I said that after this farting in bed incident that I posted, we spoke about it, got over it, and then moved on? We are currently now driving to his hometown, which is a two-hour drive from where he currently lives. And while we're in the car, I tell him, quote, hey, I need to fart. I had a heavy breakfast before we took the road.
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Turns out I reached out to airport security and they were able to track us through security into a lounge to the plane. And we got on the plane with the gift bag. So our gift bag with my flower vase got left on the plane and Delta never found it. And I had like all these really good Stroopwafel cookies and this tulip thing. And I was crushed.
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And guess what his response was? Can you hold it in? That just did it for me. Bye. I think I'm in the wrong relationship.
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I want him to. We've said this again and again, and people are annoyed with it at this point. Whatever. Justin just doesn't toot. And if he did, I think... I've had relationships in the past where like I've I don't care. I openly toot in front of them. Yeah. You don't toot in front of me. It's like I'm starting to because there's a lot of times where like I can't hold it in.
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I don't want to hold it in. So I'm starting to let him rip. Yeah. He hasn't noticed.
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Anyways, we're moving on. We're leaving this one. But okay, one last story for Love It or Leave It. Love it. Huzzah. Huzzah. HelloFresh.com pre-designed menu, easy to follow steps, is so nice. It's one less task I have to mentally think about and stress over. And the food always tastes amazing. Every HelloFresh meal we've tried is flavorful, tasty, filling, good. And you'll always have variety.
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I go, it's like one thing I really wanted from the trip. I was so crushed.
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That's up to 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com slash hellofreshpodcast. Links in the description. Ooh.
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Ah, yeah. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Okay. Do you guys remember what's in the box? No.
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How many of you out there have been with us since the days of the box? look at that look at that tie-in yeah so this one is coming from r slash relationship advice titled my 21 male girlfriend 20 female has a creepy box above the wardrobe this is a valentine's day theme love it or leave it who says wardrobe anymore i'm
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I literally bought flowers for it. Wait, you never got it back? We lost it. It was gone. Delta lost it. Yeah. I think someone stole it. I think someone like saw this nice gift bag with Stroopwafel in a vase and was like, yay, free present.
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We have been together for just over a year and we have never had any issues apart from minor arguments that were easily resolved. Up until recently, I have never noticed anything strange about her behavior. A few days ago, she left her room at university to go to a lecture in the morning and left me in there. Up until that day, I had never looked through her things as I've never felt the need to.
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She has this space above the wardrobe where she keeps boxes and stuff and I couldn't see inside them. Boredom got the better of me and I wanted to see what she was storing. So I found a box at the back, which was like a Ted Baker cardboard box that a handbag had come in or something. And when I opened it, I found so many random things that I used to own.
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There were odd socks in there that she had taken, a toothbrush that I had thought I had lost after our holiday, bits of hair from presumably my comb, toenail clippings, receipts that I assume she stole from my wallet. She even has things like empty wrappers of food that I know were mine. There was a piece of glass in there, but I don't know where that is from.
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A USB phone charger, a half-used bar of soap, boxer shorts, used gum, a spoon, used plasters from God knows where. Honestly, the things in the box were so random, but I recognized a lot of little bits that had gone missing over the past year. The most worrying thing was was a used condom I found in there. This sounds like a making of a voodoo doll. I don't even know how she managed to keep that.
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And a few empty condom wrappers as well. I even found a little tablet in there that looked a lot like my antibiotics that I took for my tonsils before Christmas. And I definitely remember losing one of my last dosage. I can't remember what else because I just put it back and left. She doesn't know I found it yet. My girlfriend behaves normally and this is the first time I've seen anything weird.
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She has never acted obsessive or creepy or anything. I don't want to confront her about it because she will know I was looking through her things. But then again, what else am I supposed to do? I love her so much, but I'm genuinely scared. I have been sat here trying so hard to come up with logical explanations as to why she is doing this. Any ideas?
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Can we talk about the tie trick? This is like a brief tangent. You go first. You go first.
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I think if you're using condoms as your main form of birth control, the best thing you can do is take it off and then unwrap the extra and tie it like you would a balloon and then squeegee it down to the bottom to make sure there's no holes.
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It's heartbreaking. But the other day, Valentine's Day was coming up and he goes, I have something for you. And I was like, what? Like, okay. He's like, do you want it early or do you want it for Valentine's Day? I'm like, give it to me early. I hate waiting. And I open it and it's the tulip holder. It's the vase. He had ordered another one from Holland and got the same one that I lost.
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I just like think everyone should know because then you know if you need to take a plan B, you just know what you're working with. And then the condom is securely fastened, so if you're a dude and you need to take that condom when you go, because you might need to, there's some goofies out there, then it's secure. It's not going to leak in your pockets.
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Do you want the ring back? I'm going to cry. This is so funny to me. What were you going to say?
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I'm like, I'm just, I can't, my eyes are watering. I'm so, you guys have had a twitching eye all day.
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Because the toenail clippings are really weird. The toothbrush is weird.
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The hair that looks like it just came out of a comb. That's so weird. I mean, you would almost like think like, I don't know why. And clearly... Loot it all? What? Loot it all?
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Well, that a little bit, but like... Because I heard... I think I heard you read it or say that as I was reading it. Yeah. But I would almost be like, Pika? Like she's just eating random crazy shit, but like she's clearly not eating it because it's there in a box. I think the one that really threw me for a loop though is like the used condom.
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That's so sweet. That is what everyone deserves. That is love. Thoughtful. It was not like it's a beautiful gift. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars. It's just thinking of someone. And this is pathetic. Yeah. He's threatened by his girlfriend's dad getting her a card. Mm hmm.
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The used condom. I know. The condom wrappers, like, weird, but, like, to keep the used condom. And it's like, is it sealed, or did she drake it up her passage? I don't think so.
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might be but honestly if i found someone that i was just dating like if i dated them for a year like at this point if we're six years deep engaged and i found a box of stuff i'd be like therapy well yeah but i think if you're six months in and you find a box of your stuff your body parts and your toothbrush and whatever like body parts okay I think at that point I would leave.
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Because I'm like, I mean, that's a decent amount of time, though. People think they're, I mean, we knew at a year. I knew I wanted to marry you at a year. So, I mean, that's in pretty deep, I guess.
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Yeah. But I get it. I get like a year is so long to where you're like, you know, everything else has been great. She's got no other red flags. This is just a box, whatever. Yeah. I could see a lot of people being able to move past it. For me, a year... I don't know if I would be at a year.
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I would too, especially the context too, right? Like with the things like the toenail and the hair and the condom, Did you put it in the trash? Like, it was securely in the trash, and then she dug it out of the trash?
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Or are you just, like, kind of a dirty guy, and you cut your nails on the sink and left the clippings there, and they were just easy to dupe into a bag, like, swoop, you know, off the counter? I don't think any of that matters. It doesn't matter?
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I think it makes it worse. Like, if she's digging through the trash...
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Update. The other boxes just had her clothes in it or were empty. Okay.
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Top comment. At least your poop isn't on those socks in the box. Excuse me? Don't you remember the girl who wiped with only socks?
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They just won't stop. I'm going to look so crazy on this episode.
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Okay. Update number two. My girlfriend is currently in the bath, and I took this opportunity to take another look at the box. She's been completely normal and unsuspecting, that I know of. A lot of people asked to see the contents of the box, so here it is. We used to have a link to a picture. However, the link no longer works. But some people were describing the box.
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They said, why are there three phones in the box? Whose phones are those? What happened to the owners? I don't know about two of them. The smashed iPod is my first generation iPod Touch that I had in a box somewhere. Didn't even notice it was gone. So she's digging through his things. Yep. That's the part that would really freak me out. That is weird.
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OP adds after sharing that link, after reading the advice comments, I'm torn. I don't believe that my girlfriend would hurt me, but I don't know how to approach her with this odd behavior. I feel sick and afraid when I think about the box, but then I think of her cute face and I can't bring myself to confront her about it.
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I'm trying so hard to think of a normal, rational explanation to tell myself this isn't weird. We can't come up with one either. I'm sorry, my dude. It's weird.
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It's weird. Ah, that looks like more than one dosage of medication. So this is people's responses to the picture. I wish we had it so bad. Oh, he goes, there was a single loose antibiotic that you can't see an image. No idea where the other medication is from. Looks like contraception, but she isn't on the pill as far as I am aware.
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Yep, had a quick Google, and it is most definitely a contraceptive pill. But they don't look used, which makes this even stranger. And penicillin, which can be used for a lot of different things. So you cannot say everything in the box is yours, question mark? Which that is weird. Yeah. Because we hear about, like, obviously she hasn't killed him yet, so whatever.
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But, like, serial killers keep trophies. Like, you hear about that. It was on you. Didn't you? The guy on you, like, he kept teeth in the box.
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Too scary. Yeah. Someone goes, to me, it looks like a box of souvenirs. A normal souvenir is a greeting card or maybe a found coin, a used Q-tip or anything with bodily fluids taken without permission or agreement. That's abnormal. Worst case scenario, mental illness and gone girl-esque plans to potentially frame or trap you if you leave.
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Best case, mental illness and a problem with obsession and stalking behavior.
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Yeah. And someone else responds to that comment and goes, the fact that the condom, hair, and Q-tip are in wrappers shows that she took time with these things, not just compulsively grabbing things of yours and stashing them. If everything in that box is related to you, then you need to find out what those mystery phones have to do with you. Oh, my God.
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I bet there is video of you two fucking or something or some other stashed digital keepsakes.
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think of this possibility but now i'm like it makes sense like i did watch gone girl actually surprisingly i think the picture that we we obviously don't have it like that's also providing a lot of more context for everybody because like all of these things are in baggies yeah the baggies someone goes the baggies are a red flag for me yeah she was very deliberate yeah so the toenail clippings baggies q-tips bagged up with gloves condoms baggies like
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But it's like maybe she has contamination issues and she's just like worried. But like then it's like, why do you have contamination issues? You're not scared of contamination enough to where you'll take a condom out of the trash, but you don't want your own DNA on it.
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I don't know. I'm just like, I'm trying to wrap my mind around this. Final update. Okay. Okay. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign. Oh. She kind of brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal at all. I told her that the gross stuff was unacceptable and that she was wrong to take my Parker pens that belonged to my granddad. She said that she had the intention of returning them to me.
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Yeah, I like that. It's just cute. It's adorable. People on the comments really, I think, are on the same page as us here. Top comment, your partner is a dipshit. Yeah. Next one down, tell your partner Reddit said he's a petty dipshit. Is he jealous of your dad? How ridiculous. This next one down, I, a woman, buy my grandmother cards every year. Fuck me, right? Mm-hmm.
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It was the best case scenario compared to the other possible explanations. She said that she was keeping them because they made her feel close to me. I guess I can understand that, or at least try to, because I love her.
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Sorry, not to judge. I'm judging. I'm judging. She said she will dispose of the things in the box. I am quite satisfied with that. We have agreed that in the future she will keep things like movie tickets from a date. Things that are normal. She said that she kept the condom and wrapper because she thinks... Oh, no. What's this face? What? Oh, no.
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She said that if the condom didn't work and she is pregnant, that she wanted to keep it as memorabilia of what happened. She said that she can see that it was strange now, but at the time she wanted to keep it and didn't mean any harm. Thanks for all the concerned messages. We have talked and worked through this and are excited at the possibility of a pregnancy.
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I mean, maybe it busted. I mean, what if it busted? And like it literally busted and that's the one she kept because it busted.
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Also, how do you go from like, hey, babe, I know you were trying to keep my toenails and toothbrush and hair and Q-tips to feel close to me. But next time, keep a movie stub.
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Yeah. She I mean, clearly there's people out there that have like kleptomania.
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Like, Lauren, you dealt with something like it honestly reminds me of what you dealt with more than anything. Someone who just has an issue with truly stealing for the sake of stealing. Yeah. Whether it's. I don't know.
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And I think that might be what this is. The thing that freaks me out is the fact that she then said, oh, I might be pregnant.
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And that's the condom. Yeah. For me, I'm suspicious that she didn't pull that condom out of the trash and go gird it up into her cervix. Yeah. Because otherwise, like, unless it broke.
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But I don't know. This is crazy. This would have been a leave it for me. But we have no updates after that. OP has since deleted his account. Oh, yeah. And we will never know.
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My God, you guys. Original post is from March 3rd, 2019. Oh. I don't think we're going to get- You brought us back.
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How'd you come across this? Best of Redditor updates from my amazing friend, directcaterpillar77. Nice. Love you.
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A lot gets lost in DMs and like stuff gets like not shown to me. Like I had to like dig to find like a couple positive messages that people were like, hey, like, on Patreon. They were like, hey, did you see my DM? And I'm like, no. And I had to go into, like, not even, like, message requests, but, like, hidden message requests.
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It's a lot, and a lot gets lost in the sauce. Like, honestly, the best way to, like, connect with me has been, like, Patreon. Like, I love the chat. Like, I love Group T, where we get to, like, hop on with people, and we have, like, a Zoom call, and we, like, all connect face-to-face. Like, that is really, really special. But, yeah, we can... I think... Let's do that.
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We'll do a Patreon episode and you will read everyone. Okay. I'll take a, I'll take a night off.
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Some people might love it, though. Some people might love their way through it. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But that's all I got. Thank you guys so, so, so much for being here. Another episode. Head over to Patreon. February is full of fun, amazing content. Lauren's going to be on a full bonus episode. She's going to be reading them I'm not going to say a word during the readings. Oh, man.
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Just have a good freaking day. Have a good day. Okay. Moving along. Moving along. This next one. Coming from Relationship Advice, 17 days old. Titled, Husband, 35 male, bought me, 31 female, the same earrings I have worn daily for the last two years. Husband and I are in our third year together. Got married legally last year. Our wedding is later in 2025.
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Take it away, Lauren. But there's a couple free bonus stories for February and a full bonus episode with me and Justin. Really good stories and always going down in the group chat. So head on over to Patreon. But other than that, until next time. Until next time.
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I've often pointed out to him that I love sweet gestures, such as receiving meaningful gifts when the occasion arises versus a gift card or a generic item. I went out of my comfort zone and asked him directly if he could buy me earrings for Valentine's Day this year. He said yes, and even asked for some brands that he could look at. I gave him some suggestions, and I let him pick for me.
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He gifts me the earrings. Huggies. Not a simple stud. Today. And it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years. Every single day. I've worn them the day I met him, the day he proposed, the day we got married on paper. I couldn't hold back my honest feelings that I felt so invisible to him, that my doubts of him not caring about the little things were just confirmed by this.
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He got upset at me for getting upset at him. Fellow ladies, how would you have felt? You're an earrings gal.
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It sounds like it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years. Every single day. Yeah. And it seems like it couldn't just be a coincidence, which makes me wonder, like, were you so scared of getting something wrong that you got the same ones you know would already work? Like, I'm like, is he neurodivergent?
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And maybe he was just really nervous and wanted to get something he knew you would like. Because me, like, I love something and I buy it in two different colors or five different colors. Like, that's me.
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I'm like, is it that? And he does see you. He sees you so much. He got you the pair that he knew you would love.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
He doesn't love you, obviously. No. Like, that's crazy.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
She'll pay you back. Yeah. Or not. Have her buy dinner next time you go out. Like, it's like, what?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
But it's like... Probably $60 sweatpants. So just, I mean, hey, now you have nice sweatpants.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Because she set the alarm off.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Which Muppet is that? I think it's Beaker. I think it's him. What the F?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Both of you. You're like, shut up.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Or something like, hey, my wife had a little accident coming in with some sweatpants. Bing bong, you know? Yeah, but clearly he is not comfortable with himself.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That was so weird. So these people are in college?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Okay. Girly pop. There's better people. You're young.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Let him be. Leave him behind.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Well, you don't need talent to do sound effects.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And how was the rest of your day with, with the sweatpants?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Wow. Whoa. There is a movie. Kujo? I was just going to say. No, I forget what it's. There's a it's a it's a it's a foreign film, quote unquote. But then it was redone with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell for like the American version. Anyway, I forget the name of it. But basically in this movie, an avalanche comes down. I know what you're talking about.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And then the dad runs away because he's like, oh my God. And then the mom just covers her kids and then nothing really happens. And so the rest of the movie, she's like, you ran away from us.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I instantly thought of that and I'm like, you can't, it is hard to recover from running away from danger and leaving your loved ones behind.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Whoa. Whoa. This is awful. Yeah. Terrible. There was a line in there where she said that she put the little girl on the barbecue and I was like, don't do that. The dog's going to love that.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I was like, no, not on the barbecue. Not the sauce. I wish I could know what he was thinking because that's crazy to do.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I feel like he was, because him shouting, whose dog is this? I feel like he's, like, looking for the owner to, like, call the dog off or something. But it's like, that's not the logic to use at that point when there's an actual attack happening.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, you should hear him out.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
There's no correct answer. Like there's like no answer, but that makes sense.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
It really does. It really does. It can shift everything.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I mean, a cool takeaway is this. The OP is like strong as hell.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Seems like he hasn't. Seems like he's just moping around being like, well, I did the wrong thing, I guess. Yeah.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
It's hard when there's literal children being currently presently attacked. It's really hard.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Oh, she's never. Wow, damn. You disappointed your wife and your family.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I don't know. I just made it up. Brown, shut it down.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Cause I know with bear, like bears are supposed to like get as big as them and be like, and then they like freak out.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
There you go. Why are you attacking me? Why are you encountering a polar bear? That's my question. Yeah, I would like to know that.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
You can ride on a polar bear? Could you imagine?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, I don't think I'd be laying down for a bear. Lay down, just lay down. Regardless of the color of the bear.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
No. No. No. Although I probably will never encounter a bear in my life.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Whoa. I've never seen a vehicle that's that way. That's a big vehicle.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And then look at this one. It's a bus with monster truck wheels.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And you're like just out of reach so that they can't like bite your head off.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So I can give them a high five.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Just for a second. While my brain goes, what's happening? And then, yeah. Yeah.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah. Have two humans fight the beast. The beast. Exactly. Wow. So we have an update.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
The ghost of the dog is back.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Wow. So this is still very fresh for everybody. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like there's no recovery from this. If my partner did this, I'd be like, I'd feel like I can't, if I can't trust you with my life, what can I?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, I'm like, let's find me a dog. I need 1K and a Visa gift card. That'd be great. I'm ready. I'm ready.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I wouldn't feel comfortable anymore. Yeah, I mean.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And he's naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Naughty. Yeah.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That's really awful. That's crazy.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I never watched Chimp Crazy. I watched it and it went in and out of my brain. She had a chimpanzee. She said that he died. He wasn't dead. She was keeping him in a home.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I unfortunately really have to pee all of a sudden. Oh my God. Let's go. Is that something I can do?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Okay. Well, just like the second time I peed myself.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, it's great. I didn't realize how much the pee conversation really got me ready. Got you triggered. Yeah.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Letting her get? Interesting.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
This is my stuff. They need to learn not to do that. Like that's kind of a thing you learn as like a moral thing is like you just don't go through other people's stuff. Unless you're at a house party and then you're in the bathroom.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
You can take a little peek around, take a little look at Lou. But you don't. Use anything. Agreed. And so it's like, okay, clearly her parent, it was her dad, right? That was like upset.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm like, well, how about you pay for the doctor's visit so that she learns that she shouldn't be doing this? Because if everyone just resolves that, then she won't learn that that's not something you should do.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Right. That's the thing. Just in case you go through all of my stuff.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah. Probably don't touch that thing.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Sister or not, you can't comment on someone's parenting.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I just can't imagine putting something on my face that I don't know what it is.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That seems crazy. You think they would like it?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Are they two boys or something? Are they cats? They're trying to get to the star on top?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Oh, someone took a week off to do this. Someone quit their job. This is a PTO expense here.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And whoever was closest gets a 1K Visa gift card.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, I'm like, what is she talking about?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Whoa. Which that's a really good point. That is a really good point. Very good point.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yep. It's also like... And regardless of your sex, gender, whatever, it's like you're going through hormonal changes at that time. Your face is going to have excess oils or not enough oils. It's like there's stuff going on underneath the surface. Absolutely. You don't want to mess with that.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
The whole house disintegrated because of that tree.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And I've been like, to my husband, I'm like.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Did you get your hoops back?
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Well, it's because they were using real hot lights. Okay.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Also... I'm pretty sure people who work in stores like that, if you see someone shoplifting, you're just supposed to go like, oh, man. Because if you try and stop them and they pull something crazy, then it's like, well, you should have just let them take it. Yeah. It's not worth your harm.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
No, no, no. No one be a hero.
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196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Like, seriously. You need help with that, sir? Oh, do you happen to have $1,000? In a Visa gift card?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Do you need $1,000? I'll always take presents. I think we can all use $1,000. I would love $1,000. Great. In a Visa gift card.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Oh, my God. Can I join but below you?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Something. You could work for Express Men in 2015 and then somehow get looped into a class action lawsuit way later and make like 25 bucks.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I think it was like 25 bucks. I don't remember. It was just like, I got a letter that was like, Hey bud, you worked for express. And I was like, I sure did.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That's a hundred dollars more than I've been asking for. I know.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Menards? Where are we? I'm so sorry to disappoint you.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Has this beautiful set been revealed yet?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, they worked really hard. If you're loopholing the system that hard, I'm like, keep your Ferrari, I guess. I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Not me. I would do well. I would do a good job. I would do really well with lottery. Yeah. With lottery money.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And I'm like, wow. Yeah, she looks great. She's just Botoxed and trying to cry. And so she's like.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
She looks like she's 17. She went on stage with Sabrina Carpenter. She's 17 again.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That's psychotic. That's so crazy.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I've seen Burlesque. It's so good. It's kind of an awful movie too.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Okay, we're going to get there. I can't handle it. As it happens, we will find out more information. I can't handle it. I want to flee.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Good. What? He should have been enraged. Well, at least he's taken action. That's true.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I've just been thinking about how to like get back at her. I'm like, okay. The first thing I thought was like, you get like some chicken liver and you like chop it up and you like put it on the doorstep. I love that. And then be like, you got what you wanted. But it's like, no, I don't want her to get what she wanted. What she doesn't want is this baby.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
It feels like something where it's like those things maybe like could or should be said maybe. Yeah. But like maybe in a nice way and maybe not during the holidays when everything's already stressful.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So I'm like, what we do is we make a beautiful little grandma shrine. Be like-
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
congratulations grandma look it's the baby you love you know like double down that way i don't know i just like this is so evil i like she i sent her menopause pills yeah she needs some like her i i want revenge on behalf no i know that's so insane i feel rageful i i feel like the best thing to do is to completely expose her but here's the thing
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That's, yeah, that's another thing, a way bigger thing to deal with. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
This is this is purely evil. I want to know the mom's name.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm so sorry to Karen. It's an A-N or E-N for sure.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Correct. Do we know if they're getting married because of the pregnancy? This makes me think the mom is like, I'll get you out of my son's life. No, seriously.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Of course. The only reason he could be taking his time is figuring out how he's going to... Because if Vivian is this extreme person, maybe it's like, okay, I need to figure out how I'm going to tackle this. Correct. But that's the only excuse to not be scorched earth instantly.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That blows my mind. I do like treating it like a bracelet. Being like, yeah, thanks, but I really didn't like the piece. I didn't like it.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, that's something that the family needs to know happened. I just have a feeling that they know. Someone who does something like this doesn't just suddenly go this extreme. They've been acting crazy for a while.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
There's no other character has been mentioned.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Why is she scared of the fiance now?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, we've missed a chapter of this story.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
He also works. So he's working and doing extra stuff.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
The first thing I thought of was like maybe the son, the fiance, isn't doing anything because it's like, well, mommy's money source. So it's like if I fight mommy, I'm cut off.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I've also heard it's like kind of like crummy city, but like it's a city. Like, so it's like, what do you expect kind of vibes. Right. Anyway, I've never been outside of the United States.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
He hasn't. Do you have a passport? He needs to.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
No, he needs to get a passport. Let's work on that.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I was going to go with my friend on his Europe trip this next year, but then I was like, oh, can I spend that long with him?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm like, I don't want to go to Europe alone. Commit to a portion.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I have. I've soloed before. I've soloed before.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm going to wait until I got my man's and we're like, let's go to Europe together, honey. Yeah, let's go. That would be lovely.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Whoa. I'm going to Europe immediately. I'm going to Europe tomorrow.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I need my passport. You need your passport. I need to get my passport right now. It's time. Wow.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So he needs to have a conversation with his spouse.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I feel like there's like, I'm missing a little ingredient of this entire family dynamic.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And so she's like, yeah, that's right. I don't work. And he's like, right?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
She's just working. She's just working.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Dead name. When someone transitions. The name that they used to go by.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Like... Maybe she's the money guy.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So you better do all the, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Hell yeah. Wow. That's iconic.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
They should figure that out.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Don't use your niece's name. I'm sure either the niece or someone made a point at some point to say that. Because it's like, you know, when someone transitions you, you respect whatever they want. You respect them. That's the whole thing. Right. And if you like... If you screw up someone's name, you go, oh, shit, I'm sorry. Whoa, sorry. And then usually it's like, okay, that's fine. Moving on.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
But if you keep doing it, then it's like you're making the decision to disrespect this person. And so there you go, Evangeline. Wow. I love this family.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And I'm just like, it's this now.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
But you can take some getting used to it. It's just a little switch you flip on and you're just like active until it becomes habit again and then that switch doesn't have to come on anymore. It's important to that. Just like you learn anything. Oh, let me take my shoes off when I get home as opposed to walking around with my shoes on. Same thing.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
There's poop particles all over the bottom of your shoe. Then you're going to walk around barefoot in your home?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
We get to pick. You guys get to pick.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I have my answer. Do you have your answer? I think so. I think.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
One wedding dress. You've been wed before. I've been wed before. And I love a drama.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I have a one bedroom. My one room is a bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Wow. Okay, this was as juicy as I thought.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I would just give the dress back.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
If you're going to harass me online, you better be wearing this dress.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So you would say, hold on to the dress.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
She just doesn't want her to wear it.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
The lawyers, you can tell them they're dismissed. They actually won't need your services today. Go home. They're like, oh, okay. Okay. Wow.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah. It's like my friend has a new baby. Well, he's not new. He's like one and changed. Oh, that's a big baby. Yeah, it's a big baby. But it's the whole thing of like, oh, they'll let him run and then fall over and then start crying. And then they'll look and go, he's fine. And then he'll be like, meh. And then look at them and go, I'm fine.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
That's iconic to be like, she can use it on her third. What an asshole. Insane. So what is she getting at? Like, is it truly just like, oh, you're being shown affection from my mom and I'm not?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
What's my cut? It's really sad. Never been more excited to be an only child.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
My dad's signed baseballs. And you're going to put them in your one bedroom. Yeah, I'll put it right there.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
It's got three baseballs. It doesn't feel like it connects with you at all. I could space them out really far and have it be a baseball wall. It doesn't feel like it's you at all. You might have to get some more. Sports and me? You don't see the connection there? Nah, baseballs. No, I don't look like someone who moves too fast.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm not a dancer, but I can move. You can move. No, I drop something at least like five times a day.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Cluts. No, that's me. My limbs are longer than I think.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yep. Just a little kooky like that.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And I wore a festive sweater. Oh.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
These are like little side character villains coming in to be like...
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
So we got to check back in two months.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Wear it every day. Wear it every day. It's the only thing you wear now. Oh, that's a lot. You are a cartoon character and you wear the same thing every day. And it's that dress. You deserve it.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I just bought a bunch of black and beige stuff. So everything kind of matches all the time. Yeah. Except for today.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Your sweater lights turn on? Yeah, I think.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Wow. You saved it till the end of the app to give us a little light show? That's awesome.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Yeah, a lot of them were like, wah, wah.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
No, like. No, I love that. Okay. Well, it's not out yet, but in the new year, in January, mid-January, go check out my YouTube channel, Tomy Bones, T-O-M-E-Y-B-O-N-E-S. I've got my second season of Serving C-Word, which I'll make you censor here.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
And I looked for mine this morning and it's gone. It's okay. We have this blanket.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
where we look at stupid pictures of stuff and decide whether they're C word or not. And Amanda's going to be the first episode. So if you like this dynamic, it's so good. It's a lot of fun.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
We do inanimate objects. Oh, or like, or like small little animals. Like, I think Amanda's things were fans, uh, blackwater sea creatures, which are just like microscopic sea creatures photographed that night and cocktails.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Cocktails. It's so much fun. Anyway, so that's where you can go check me out at Tomy Bones everywhere.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I feel like naughty just because it's none of your business.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Thank you. Hi. My voice always drops a couple octaves. I feel like as soon as there's a podcast mic in front of me, I'm like, how are we doing?
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
I'm feeling like the brother is talking shit. Although every tree within a mile of the home has been destroyed.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Well, we'll just have to go to their home and find out.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Okay. Okay. Have you peed your pants before? Yes. I have also peed my pants. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
It's one of the best blankets I've ever touched.
Two Hot Takes
196: Naughty or Nice? Ft. Amanda Lehan-Canto & Tommy Bowe
Were they jorts? Shorts. They weren't jorts, luckily, but they were shorts. So, you know, they get wet and then also you get wet. Anyway.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Are you ready? Yes. I am too. I wore two different contacts this weekend and it was the most jarring experience. Wait, what do you mean by that? Okay, so I have transitional contacts and one of them changes color in the sunlight.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Like, what? That poor guy. He's been through the ringer. He's been through the ringer. A wife of what? Like, I don't know, 30 years maybe? Yeah. God damn. At least wrap it up, lady.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And that's the thing. That's the thing. If you're outside of childbearing years... You still gotta use protection. I'm talking to you, senior citizens. In homes or assisted living facilities, wrap it up. Yeah, wrap it up, senior citizens. Dental dams. I don't care if it's oral. Dental dams exist for a reason. Sorry, what? Sorry, what? What's a dental dam?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's a condom for your mouth so you don't spread anything because you can take a cold sore on your mouth and give someone genital herpes. I didn't realize that was happening. Dental dams, people. They're cheap. Just PSA. That's my PSA for today. Yeah, thank God. Off my soapbox now. If you have a cold sore but you still really need to have oral sex. Yeah. Dental dams. Dental dams. Mm-hmm.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
My father-in-law joined us for dinner instead of going home, and we talked for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager. He had no idea what was happening, but years ago he had suspicions of her talking to other men but didn't have any proof, and they dropped it after a brief fight. But now, with undeniable proof of multiple affairs, he said it's over.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He also has a pretty airtight prenup that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper. The family business is on his side, and in the case of infidelity, she forfeits all ownership of the business and the house they built together.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So I'm sorry to break it to you. Coming clean didn't destroy my marriage or my career. I told my husband mostly because we don't keep secrets from each other. It's a foundation of our marriage, but it's almost like reasonable adults put blame on where it's deserved on the cheater.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
My father-in-law is pissed and simultaneously devastated and plans to get his ducks in a row before serving her with divorce papers.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
The fact that you've known him since he was little. Yeah, like, how can you do that? There's, like, some celebrity couples that that's the case. Like, oh, blah, blah, blah was friends with his mom and now they're married. And it's like... Yeah. If you knew someone as a child... Disgusting. You should be in jail. Hot take number two of the day. Yeah, she's lucky. Jail.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
That she's just losing everything. Electric chair. And when I say electric chair, I don't mean to death. Just some zaps to really wake you up.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I need to order koozies with two hot takes on them. I just haven't gotten there yet. I've been a little busy. Basically, a lot of comments from OP. I signed a prenup that basically cuts me off if I cheat as well. It's pretty common for people with a large business. There are rapid tests for certain things that come back in like 20 minutes.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's basically a COVID test as far as going into a walk-in clinic and turnaround time. I think people were coming for her being like, oh, you got tested that fast.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Oh, man. I'm just trying to peek if there's any other comments we should get into. OP is kind of speculating. Honestly, I think how I found out could be chalked up to not just being tech savvy and not thinking that she had anything to worry about because she has gotten away with this for years.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
You're like vicariously getting a rush from these people's crazy stories.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
As we found out. I have her computer login. She has mine. People are pressed that I had my boss's passwords, but she's also my mother-in-law. We've done presentations where her computer goes to sleep after we set it up and I need to log in. She sent me to go get a file off her hard drive when it's plugged in at her desk, etc.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And I don't know if she even realized that her personal email was logged in on the mail app. She usually works off Microsoft Outlook in her web browser. There's a good chance she logged into her personal email on the mail app and didn't think twice about it.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I think like if you happen upon something by accident and you snoop a little deeper after that. Right. That's that feels like fair game. And like don't quote me because I know there's probably a situation where my opinion would change and whatever. But like it's different than like I have a boyfriend or a fiance or husband and like I don't trust him. Something happened.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm getting really suspicious. Then I go through the phone.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
There's probably bigger issues there then versus, oh, I grabbed his phone to, you know, play a game or look for a picture to send myself and something popped up from Susie saying, send me a dick pic. Right. Then I'm going to snoop because I didn't have trust issues, but I saw that from Susie. Yes. Like in those cases, it feels like you do have to go deeper because otherwise...
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. It's like sunglasses automatically. But I accidentally paired a transitional one with a regular one. And then everyone thought I had that thing where I have two different color eyes.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
You're burying your head in the sand, and people could be getting hurt when they don't need to be. You're not in the best situations.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
The answer is probably horrible, but... We do have a couple more comments from OP. OP says, My father-in-law is a great guy and he has us and a large support system that have proven themselves to be great friends time and time again. So with all that and time, I'm sure he'll be okay.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I think it would help me because if you've already had a fight about it in the past and then you find this out, then you can kind of realize like I've been being lied to and gaslit and made to feel like my paranoia is just that paranoia. It's unjustified for years.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's sad, like such a sad way to end, you know, a long and hopefully mostly happy marriage. But at least like everyone can move forward. And unfortunately, it sounds like the mother-in-law is kind of left with maybe nothing. But like that's also a choice she chose to make. Yeah. But... Multiple times. Yeah. And I'm very surprised like OP comments on it quite a few times.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
An honorary bachelor's degree in Reddit. I feel like that's what it is, though. It's like living for the drama that's not mine. That's like my new tagline for today. So our theme overall today, what's the scoop? Give me the tea. There's something else going on here.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Like people were brutal in the comments, said I should take it to the grave. I should mind my business. But like. I wouldn't be able to if you got 20 years down the road and your husband found out that you knowingly kept this from him.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah, especially if it's something that could have, like, gone further. Like, even syphilis is treatable, but if it's left untreated, like, there's so many negative implications of that. Yeah, I mean, all... I'm pretty sure you can go blind.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Dude, I just saw the craziest thing. And this is like partly because of the current administration and like cutting funding for like the Center for Disease Control. Oh, my God. Yeah. But like we're we're really close to having gonorrhea being untreatable because it's getting so resistant to antibiotics.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I didn't know that. Yeah. And so there was this like one center that was like tracking gonorrhea and it's like resistance to antibiotics. And I don't think they're getting funding anymore. So another reason to practice safe sex.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's crazy. And yeah, it is. I'm like just fact checking myself. And yeah, it is. There's a big growing concern that gonorrhea could become untreatable due to antibiotic resistance. This is also another PSA. I'm so sorry. I'll shut the fuck up after this. But if you get prescribed antibiotics, please take them as directed from your provider.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Don't think because you're feeling better you should stop them and save them for later. Take your full prescribed course. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Being a little risky. But okay, we have no further updates. OP, if you're listening, update us. I approved your post now, so you're good. But moving along to the next one. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Bye. Bye. Bye. And enter promo code SPACE80. That's Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. This is coming from r slash relationship advice, 16 hours old. Oh, wow.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'll be a little fly on the wall. A little mouse in the corner. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
This one is titled, I am getting frustrated that my husband keeps getting sick on vacations. Hello, everyone. I need some advice here. My husband, 27 male, recently keeps getting sick on vacation, and it's really making me, 24 female, frustrated. I understand that it's not within his control, but we have looked forward to this trip for so long.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
When I mentioned that I can go out alone and do some sightseeing, he insisted that I be with him in the hotel room instead. Let him rest and the next day we will be free to go out if he feels better. He did mention that whenever we go on vacations, he is quite dependent on me, mostly because I do the planning while he carries the luggages and pays for the stuff.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And while I acknowledge that, it just frustrates me that he keeps getting sick and I will be in the hotel room and not have anything to do but just look at my phone. I feel so frustrated that I just break down in tears alone and I have no one to express this to. Even now, I'm crying as well.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
When I express these feelings I have with him, he will just ask, quote, what can I do to make you feel better? And I can't even answer that question myself. What would you guys do if you were in my position? I need some advice on this. Thanks.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Did she say how many times this has happened? I'm going to go look. There's no mention in the original post how many times this has happened. But if it's like, it's that, what's that little TikTok audio? If I had two nickels. It's like one nickel is weird, but then you have two nickels. And it's like, if it happens once, okay. But if it's every time you go on vacation, he's getting sick. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It seems like he doesn't want you to go on vacation. He doesn't want to enjoy these trips. And maybe that's. Yeah, why? Maybe that's some pessimistic thinking. But it feels a little bit like weaponizing competence. Right. He's purposefully sabotaging so he doesn't have to do this again.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I guess... Control. Yeah. Making her miserable. Yeah. Because it's one thing if you get sick. Like, if this happened to me and Justin when we were traveling, if I was like, hey, I'm just going to go sightsee. Like, you're not feeling well. I'm going to leave you to relax. First, I'll go get you some soup and crackers, maybe a ginger ale. But then I'm going to just go bop around a little bit.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Right. He'd be like, okay, yeah, you should. Like, I really... I don't want to, you know, make sure...
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
We're all the way here. And I think it's kind of a cop-out too where he's like, I feel very dependent on you because you do all the planning. As someone that's doing a lot of planning right now, I don't want to plan anymore. I don't want to plan trips on my own. I want someone to plan my trips for me. I don't want to be the big brain thinker. And that's the case for a lot of relationships.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
No one wants to do everything on their own. It's like... well, you're carrying the bags as you should. Add to all the planning. Like, but it's nice to have input from a partner. And I know like, like a lot of people would be like, oh, well, you know, I want to make sure we're doing what you want to do. But it's like, I want to make sure we're doing what you want to do to have some input. Right.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And luckily, like, Justin is so good about that. He will like go on Pinterest and research and like, yeah, whatever. But like, there's other times where it's like, I'm planning something for my family or whatever. It's just like, Come on, give me some input, people. Right. I'm pulling teeth here. Like, what do you want? What do you want to do? Like, so it's hard, but I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm Googling. I'm fact-checking you. Yeah, fly on the wall. 2008, Mikaela. That came out.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I like I need more of a scoop here. Yeah. Is there more of a scoop? There might be. We're going to read the top comment first just so we don't spoil anything. Top comment. Just go without him and do your thing. Yes. We went on a cruise and my son and I got food poisoning. We stayed back and puked all day while wife and daughter-in-law explored the port of the day.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I would have been disappointed if she had missed out. Staying in the room would accomplish nothing. Teach him how to use the TV remote and go enjoy your day.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
the tv remote there's subtle shade there yeah next comment down i completely agree he can insist you stay in the hotel room all day doing nothing while he's sick all he wants but you don't have to listen give him some soup make him comfy and then go enjoy your vacation on your own if this was a one-off i'd say stay with him but since it's a recurring issue you shouldn't keep wasting your vacations like this
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I know. They're so cute. That would be so selfish though. And I don't like it. So we do have some comments from OP. People are inquiring about what he's ailed by. Right. Having a fever and a bit of a sore throat. Sounds like allergies. Yeah. He doesn't really go on vacations much, so he might feel a bit strange to new places.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Just now I asked him if I can go out alone to get some stuff, and he said that I can go, but he will be sad if I leave him alone.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
No. And I know there's some people that have like weakened immune systems and are immune immunocompromised and all that. So like this is not like to say that maybe he's not dealing with those issues, but we have no context of that.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
No, and it's only on vacation by the sounds of it. OP does go on to say he's quite sensitive. Even before vacation, he's been taking vitamins. And when we arrived at the airport, I asked him to wear a mask, which he did follow. Unfortunately, he still fell sick. This has happened more than two times. And it happens always after two days of the vacation.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So, you know, that's an appropriate amount of time for something to incubate.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Does she say he doesn't like vacations? Road trips are fun, but he doesn't know how to drive. This is another comment from Opie. He doesn't know how to drive? Doesn't know how to drive. Maybe they live in Europe. Public transportation is so easy and nice there. He said that he likes to go on vacations with me, but to be honest, I'm actually doubting whether it is only me that enjoys the vacation.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I asked him before every vacation planned whether he is comfortable going on overseas. And he always gives me the same answer. As long as my wife is with me, I will be comfortable. Again, OP has a comment here. Unfortunately, when I asked if I could go without him, he keeps insisting to stay because he feels hurt if I leave him alone.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
there's really no other comments from op um a lot of like emotional manipulation by the sounds of it especially with this comment there is like one other comment my husband is quite insecure when i'm going on a vacation without him so i'm stuck in a position that is hard to deal with so i really do think it's like a control thing like i saw this is the craziest thing i think i've seen
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So I went one day when I was in London, I went to Harrods. And when you go to their like coffee bar in Harrods, you can order like these custom lattes with like beautiful designs and writing on them. And there's pretty standard designs that they were doing for people. But this one guy and his wife ordered a coffee. She ordered the coffee or latte or whatever.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And the barista guy made it and like made a heart design. Seems like a very generic design. Made the heart design, delivered her the coffee, and the husband immediately like elbowed her, took a spoon and like wrecked the design. Wow. Because another man was giving her a heart design.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I don't know. Sounds right. You're smart. I don't know. I had an ex with it. But I was like, oh my God. Like, I feel like my eyes are still messed up from it.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And so I'm just wondering, like, based on all these comments, he doesn't want her to go out and explore without him. He's insecure. She goes on trips without him. Yeah. I'm just wondering if this is like too many people are looking at you. You're getting too much attention. I'm going to be sick. Yeah. There's there seemingly is something else here. There's a bigger scoop here.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And showed up to the airport. He literally didn't want her to go. And she was like, I'm going to go like I'm going to my sister's wedding. And she literally got her flight canceled by her husband.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Like sometimes they present themselves when the situation arises. It's not something you'd even notice until it happens. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's giving something's fishy here. I'm just getting a read and maybe it's unjustified. I don't know. But I'm looking to see if there's any other posts from OP.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. I'm just especially over a sore throat. Like it's a sore throat. Yeah. And I'm like the fever. I'm like, I don't bring a thermometer on vacation. So how do you know it's a fever? Like, is it just he was feeling a little hot? How do I know he didn't go in the bathroom and put a blow dryer to his forehead? Yeah. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Where's the poop, Robin? Everyone's going to be like, ew, I'm working poop. No, no poop stories. Don't worry. But I did have a crazy poop story on Patreon. I just posted three, no, just kidding, four free bonus stories. It's basically like a free mini bonus episode. Me, Dad, Justin. Go check it out. It's got some really good stories.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He's shitting his pants and he can't leave the hotel bathroom. Been there. Get that.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's like it's sore throat. No, no. And like I just had really, really bad food poisoning recently, like food poisoning, maybe norovirus. I don't know. Like it was so bad. Like I had to get an IV full of Zofran. Like I was dying. It was terrible. Did I want Justin to be there and witness my depravity? No, I did not. I said, go to work, sir. Don't get sick. Goodbye. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Like, and that was just like a normal day. But like, even on vacation, I'd be like, this is a hotel bathroom and the walls are thin. Please get out of here.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm with you. No other relationship posts from OP does seem like a real account is posting on an accountant subreddit talking about retaking exams. Another comment in r slash Singapore refi commenting on a post male 30s marry Malaysian girlfriend and talking as if they have some experience about living in Singapore post.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
um so that's the context i have we'll be on the lookout if there are any updates because i would love an update on this one be so interesting to hear if they have a conversation like what comes out of that absolutely but moving along to our next one which is a little scary oh the first one was scary oh Okay, this next one. This is coming from a relationship advice.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It is titled, my 30 female student, 18 male, made a super creepy comment. My husband, 35 male, thinks I'm being paranoid. I'm a high school English teacher and I have been for a few years. In that time, as a woman, I've been used to teenage boys awkwardly behaving around me sometimes and pheromones are kind of a part of the deal.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
There have been occasional comments, but generally in the vein of, Miss so-and-so has a crush on you or Miss, would you be so-and-so's valentine? It's all in good humor in front of the whole class or a large group and is seemingly well-meaning. My school throws a January ball for seniors, 16 to 18, which is basically an opportunity to celebrate the start of another calendar year.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
As it's after hours, not every teacher has to attend, and this year I was asked to be a chaperone. There is no alcohol permitted, but obviously some of them sneak in hip flasks and so on. During this month's ball, two students were huddled at a table in the corner of the hall, not dancing, just keeping to themselves.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I know them well as problematic students who have difficulties socially, but also perform poorly academically, so they don't fit in with the popular crowd or the nerdy lot. We have some of these every year. Poor hygiene, greasy hair, long fingernails, that sort of thing.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Immediately, I could tell that they had been drinking, from the way that they smelled and talked, and asked them to hand over any alcohol they had. One of the boys, let's call him Stuart, started protesting. He said the following, and I'm 100% sure this is what he actually said. Quote, watching the new TV. Give us a break.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Now, as soon as he said this, I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I got cold all over. I had just bought a bottle of Bailey's Irish cream for myself the weekend before the dance. I am in the habit on nights where I don't have much marking or planning and I want a treat for myself of having a bath and watching a movie or series in my dressing gown.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
My husband bought a new television over Christmas. I asked him how he knew those things, and he feigned ignorance, basically saying it was a lucky guess. I was so shaken that I left them, and a short while later, they both left. But that night, I could barely sleep, and my paranoia kept growing. I simply cannot believe that he could have guessed all three of those things.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yes, you do. Okay. Thank you, Mikayla. I'd like to type that in. Link is also in the description. Okay, this first one. It's coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit, one month old, titled, I found messages on my mother-in-law slash boss's computer that changed my entire view of her. What do I do? I listen to Too Hot Takes literally every week, and this happened to me a couple of days ago.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
One, maybe, but no way all three. My husband is away for work currently. I phoned and told him about it, and he basically downplayed my concerns, saying I probably mentioned those things to my class at various points, and this student just remembered it. But I would never mention those things. I just wouldn't, and I'm sure I haven't. I've become more skittish at home when I hear noises.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I only live in a small house, but when I arrive home from buying groceries, I check every single room and cupboard before I lock the doors. I've also arranged to have the locks changed. When cars stop outside the house, I turn all the lights off and peek at them through the blinds. I'm having trouble sleeping.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
In class, the student is quiet and the same as ever, not completing homework assignments, distracted in class. My husband is growing increasingly exasperated and worried more for my mental health than the possibility this student could somehow know details of my personal life.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I mentioned it to my supervisor as well and she also basically reasoned that I had either misheard what he said, it was a coincidence, or a combination of the two. What's the play here? I'm seriously freaked out and I don't know how to even begin putting this to rest.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I don't think that's a super common drink. That's not. So there's also a Kahlua. There's other things you could have picked. Like why Bailey's? Why a dressing robe? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Or like... the baileys would be something it is the fact that it's all three because like with the baileys i'm like hey maybe he saw you at the liquor store or the grocery store why would he be in a liquor yeah you know like right maybe some groceries yeah sell liquor but i'm like maybe that's how he saw you but like the new tv and the dressing robe like i don't wear a dressing robe like i'm
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Usually in a big t-shirt and sweat. So it's, like, a dressing robe is very specific. Like, not everyone wears a little muumuu. Like, I have a hard time believing it's a coincidence. And I think it's really frustrating being in this situation and, like, you're being told by everyone. You're overreacting. You're paranoid. And it's just, like, but I'm not. Like... I need to trust my gut.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It's the same way when people start getting stalked and they know it and no one believes them and no one takes a report and no one wants to put a restraining order and then they end up dead. Yeah. And granted, is this high school student going to kill her? No, but there's clearly something at play here. I mean, probably not.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I've been at a loss of what to do, so I figured I should finally make a Reddit account and post here. I work at my husband's family business that builds custom homes. I met my mother-in-law when she came into the design firm I worked at to pick out some options for a client. She and I hit it off, and after she'd come in a few times, she set me up with her son.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Do you know the trick for checking for cameras? Because I think it's really good to do when you go to Airbnbs, hotels, wherever you're staying that's not your home. Is it the flashlight? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So I've heard if you shut all the lights off in a room and then use your phone's camera, then if you scan about with your phone's camera, if there is another camera in the room, you should see like an infrared light. Yeah. I know I'm sure there's like other devices on Amazon and things like that, but that's one hack I've heard.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I honestly I feel like that's something I want to download and like figure out how to just check when I'm going places like I don't call me paranoid but I just I went to a crime junkie live show a couple weekends ago and like they had this case and like one of the people in the cases was like a doctor who was like installing cameras in toilets and getting shots of like people's vaginas and like crazy like.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
shots i get so scared about i get very paranoid like using public restrooms i get paranoid every time not like severely no but you think about it yeah i do too i'm like i'm always like what's what's happening here i've seen so many videos on tiktok lately of like people in bathrooms and like someone next to them like puts a phone camera under the stall or like they're at their airbnb and they open the basement door or like a crawlspace hatch and someone's in there
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
you can never be too careful nowadays. Like we live in a time where we have these technologies. It's 2025. Install a camera. Like you should have cameras, at least a doorbell camera now. Yeah. At the bare minimum. Like, and there's a comment here from OP. Thank you for the advice. I will invest in some cameras. How do you advise I go about communicating all this and justifying it to my husband?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Babe, it's 2025. We need cameras. Mm-hmm. That's it. I don't even think you need to justify getting cameras. You don't need permission to get cameras for the outside of your house from your husband. And they're not even that expensive anymore.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Fast forward seven years and I coordinate all the builds and consult with clients on design for the 50 plus year old family business. My mother-in-law is technically my boss, but we operate a lot like equals and she's been taking some steps back. She and I have always gotten along great and she has felt like the mother I never got to have growing up.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
On sale. Yeah. Yuffie is great. And you can get solar-powered ones. You never have to charge them if you live in the right area.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
yeah they can be wearing glasses and there's a camera in it like they can have a pen in their shirt and there's a Ray-Ban glasses yeah you would never never know what those are yeah like Alejandra has them and like they're so discreet and it's literally just someone looking at you recording with glasses it's Yeah. It's crazy. USB charging ports. Camera. Well, also... Pens. Camera.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Just situational awareness is so important. So important. But I don't think OP was being crazy. It does remind me of a story. And I don't believe I've ever read it on this podcast. Maybe I get into it for this month's Patreon full bonus episode because it is kind of vintage. And I know there's a lot of other podcasts that have probably read it.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
But there's a story about this guy who does think people are breaking into his home. And there's like a plot twist that happens with it that I don't want to give away. But it is reminding me of that story. But I don't think knowing how that story ends... I don't think it's the same. Oh, I know the story that you're talking about, actually. Yeah, I don't think it's the same situation here.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm going to read it for this month's full bonus episode on Patreon. So if you want, come over there.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So someone goes, my thing is, why would he say new TV? I could believe if he said drinking some wine, watching TV in your dressing gown, but being extremely specific about your drink of choice and new TV is a little scary. Wine is the trope. TV is what you would think people do. Dressing gown is cozy. But those added details make it not a coincidence. And that's what I would assume. Woman, wine.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So last Friday I was packing up to go home and on the phone with my husband before he got a flight for an annual weekend away with his friends. I was distracted and accidentally grabbed my mother-in-law's computer instead of mine. I didn't realize it until I was home and wanted to look up some fixtures for a project in our own home.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
TV, reality show, Netflix series, whatever. Dressing gown, okay, robe. Insert robe, insert whatever. I would assume big t-shirt. Bailey's, dressing gown, new TV. They just got it in December. I missed that.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
the new i missed that he said new tv new tv okay that's yeah so he goes exactly exactly if it was just you're going to have some baileys or you'll have some baileys in front of your tv like okay but those comments plus the new tv next comment down is it possible that you or your husband were observed buying the new tv and the baileys the students parents could have seen either purchase and said oh
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
throw away jade whatever just got a new large 65 inch tv i agree you should do a sweep for cameras or ask a techish friend for help but that would necessitate figuring out how the cameras got there which opens up a larger conspiracy And that is so fucking true.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
How long have you been living there? Yeah. Did you recently buy the home? Did you recently move in and you're renting? Were they there before? How do these students have access to those cameras? So then your students broke into your home and put these cameras in your home? Like... Right. What the... Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yes, because I remember the first time I told Justin, like, I genuinely think about getting kidnapped every day. He was like, what? Yeah. He couldn't rationalize that because that's not a fear he's ever had. Like, there's such an intuition with women because we socially do have to be more on edge and aware. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So OP does ask, how can I sweep for cameras? Genuinely want to know. And someone goes, open your Bluetooth and see if there are any weird devices. Obviously, if you live in an apartment building, this probably won't work because you'll pick up your neighbor's stuff.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
They sell devices that look for hidden cameras, but I think it's just something that emits a beam of light that would bounce off a camera lens. I've never seen one that seems worth buying.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
otherwise i don't have any suggestions and op goes there are some devices i don't recognize in the morning it's late here i'll go ask my neighbors to try and rule some out thank you holy shit op has another comment here it's in response to someone and it goes well i'm in it but not that area if there was a camera logically it would have to be transmitting so probably use a wi-fi connection
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Once I knew, I texted her to let her know, to which she said, no worries. She was unplugging this weekend anyways and do whatever I needed to do on it. I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a store's contact page. We use MacBooks and a lot of Apple users know this. That will usually pop up to send an email using your default mail app.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I've read that skimmers and gas station credit card payment units can send data through Wi-Fi so the bad actor doesn't have to retrieve it. That Wi-Fi should show up on your phone if you look at various Wi-Fi offerings on your phone. You'd have to take into consideration closeness of your neighbors. How a camera got there is another puzzle. Ocam's razor says to look at the easier likelihood.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So can someone be looking in your window as you sip your Baileys in a nightgown and also notice your recycle bin with a discarded LG TV box recently? Oh, yeah. Opie goes, similarly, a long list of Wi-Fi devices popping up, longer than the Bluetooth list. I'll try and get my immediate neighbors to roll some out, but there will still probably be a few left over.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
This episode has turned in from what's the scoop? Give me the scoop to gave me goosebumps. Like the whole episode. I'm just like, what is happening here? Mm hmm. We have an update. No, we do. Yeah, we have an update. I'm like, I'm so scared to read it. You haven't read it yet? I haven't read it.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
We're going to get so paranoid this week. We're going to be texting each other. Dude, don't be listening to this episode alone. It's too late to tell people that now. Everyone's already locked in. It's home. I'm alone. It's 3 a.m., Morgan. What the fuck? I'm so sorry, you guys. Okay. My eyes are watering. I'm so scared. Update. I wasn't expecting this post to receive so much attention.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm really grateful to so many people who have validated my concerns and helped me develop a plan of action. I got home a whittle, a whittle, a whittle. I got home a whittle.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And I'm going out shortly with a friend to try to rule out Bluetooth and Wi-Fi devices with my neighbors. After that, the two of us will try and conduct a meticulous search of the house for any concealed devices using the lights out phone camera trick some people recommended and some other tricks I found online. Just to clarify a couple of points that I've seen raised a few times.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Dressing gown is a really common term in England for what Americans might call a robe. It's absolutely common parlance. Here, most people I know would associate a robe with something a wizard might wear. In terms of it being a lucky guess, if he had just said relaxed with a glass of wine, I might have assumed so. But the dressing gown comment.
Two Hot Takes
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I closed the draft, and when I went to close her email app, I saw an email from a recently hired apprentice titled, quote, our weekend getaway itinerary. I froze. I realized this was her personal email and I couldn't help myself but to click on it. I found both explicit and romantic messages between this 22 year old male apprentice and my married 47 year old mother-in-law and boss.
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plus the Bailey's comment when I just bought a bottle and the explicit mention of a new television, which I'm 100% certain I did not misinterpret, these things make it so much harder to write off as a coincidence. As far as social media goes, I have Instagram, which is set to private, under my maiden name, and my profile picture is not of me.
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I'm not in the habit of connecting with former students... I only have three who have all gone to study English at a university and have used me as a reference. I also have a Snapchat, which I only use with my husband and very close friends. I've posted nothing about my new television, and I also don't think I've mentioned this to colleagues, let alone students.
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Certainly I said nothing about the Baileys I just bought. And that's so true. You're not going to tell your underage students, yeah, I'm going to go home and drink a glass of Bailey's. Yeah. Or like, hey, everyone, I just bought a new TV like to your kid or to your you would remember like talking about that.
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No, they know something. And they wanted it to be specific to jar her so that she would leave them alone and they could keep their alcohol. Mm hmm. Maybe they're part of a spy club. I don't... Oh. Maybe they're in the CIA. Okay. Update number two. I wasn't going to post an update here, but the number of worried people who have reached out to me made me reconsider.
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After a thorough search of my house, I found two devices. What? Dude, what the fuck? They seem to be camera devices. I don't know if audio is included. One of them was in the smoke detector in my bedroom, while the other was concealed in the wall of my living room. Looking at an old picture of my bedroom, it looks like the smoke detector itself has changed very slightly.
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I think that the new one is a device in itself, which the culprit somehow switched with the old one without us noticing.
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dude what what the fuck like i know that's kind of what we were saying but that like what they came into her house and changed the smoke detector so it's like that makes me think it's someone with a key is it a maintenance person literally again oh my god i hate getting goosebumps like this or like i don't know getting through a window or like maybe they're not always the best at locking the door or i don't like maybe how does an 18 year old know how to rewire a smoke detector though
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Where are they posting it? And how do you find it in the millions and millions and millions and millions of sex tapes online? How would you ever find that to get it removed?
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Yeah, they clearly need to like question these kids. Yeah. OP goes on to say, Yeah, how do you even ever, like, feel safe in that home again? I'm glad I raised the issue with my head at my school and a couple of others as there's a paper trail, another suggestion from this thread. Needless to say, I'm completely shaken to my core and I have the most revolting feelings of my privacy being invaded.
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I have no idea how many people have been involved in this, but phones have been taken from students and we should have more answers soon. I won't be making any more posts or updates. Thank you again for everyone affirming me and making me feel sane.
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Well, the only thing, too, like the fact that you brought up Giselle, the French woman who just went through like the most horrendous experience and like trigger warning essay. Her husband drugged her for years and years and years and basically like let other men come over and assault her. Like terrible, terrible situation. Mm hmm.
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I slammed the computer shut and went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite a while. My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today. I had been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this. I certainly wasn't going to bring it up to my husband while he was gone, but I went to the office and had to see my mother-in-law yesterday and could barely keep my composure.
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And because of that, my head goes to, what if the husband was the one that installed these cameras? He has access to the house, access to their bedroom, and was trying to downplay and say she was paranoid. Yeah, I mean... Like, how would these kids get in there? It's like, maybe he posted the stream. But how would he connect with... I don't know, like, he could have posted the stream, like...
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Rose like wherever they live, Roseville teacher live stream.
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Maybe that's how the students came across it. Like, I don't know.
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Or an inside job. I'm telling you, insider info. Yeah. Someone knows something and... I really do hope OP, if you're out there listening, one, I hope you're, you know, doing okay and safe and hopefully getting more of a peace of mind back in all of this. Yeah.
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But I do think this story, you know, if you do get an update and you do find out who and how and why and whatever, like I do think it could help others by updating again. So if you're out there. Let us know.
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I was expecting a dead end. Yeah, me too. Or like at least the update to not produce anything. Right. Because in that other story I'm like going to read, it was like a chemical. It wasn't like foul play. So I'm like, But okay. Moving along now.
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I found every excuse to lock myself away in my office and be busy. So now my husband is back and I'm wondering what to do. Do I tell him? How do I even do that? Do I go to his mom and confront her? Do I go to his dad and tell him? Help. Help.
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Bees make me sad because I I feel like bees, they die when they sting.
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I know. So it's like, why haven't bees evolved to be able to sting multiple times? Because they're the ones we need. They're the pollinators. They should evolve to have multiple stings because they should be able to protect themselves. They deserve it. The wasps should be the ones that sting once and then die.
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There is nothing more fun than taking a can of wasp killer and taking out a nest.
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Oh, my God. It was so bad. There was a wasp nest that, like, at my farm, like, where I would get my horses ready to go ride. I would, like, tie them to our trailer because it had all my, like, tack and saddles in it. And there was a wasp nest underneath, like, the fender of the wheel and we didn't notice. And we got too close as we're getting the horses ready. They stung me. They stung Justin.
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They've got to die. And wasps, like, bite you first to hold on. And then they sting you. So it's like a double whammy.
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We're just going to lighten it up, though, with a little bit of good old-fashioned chaos. Because there seems like there's more of a scoop here. Okay. Okay. So this one is coming from AITAH, three days old. It is titled, Am I the asshole for telling my fiance's daughter I'm not her mom after she called me a gold digger with a uterus? What? Yeah, that's what she said.
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Got a stone to grind or something. I don't know. Buckle up. I, 32 female, have been with my fiance, 38 male, for almost four years. He has a daughter, 15 female, from his first marriage. Her mom is very much in the picture, but she's more of a wine and vibes parent than someone who actually parents.
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I've been the one handling school stuff, doctor's appointments, making actual meals instead of Postmates every night, helping her through panic attacks, you name it. Now, I've never tried to replace her mom, but I've been a consistent, caring adult in her life. I even helped plan her last birthday party when her mom completely forgot the date.
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Like, I've seriously bent over backwards for this kid. Fast forward to last weekend. We're at this fancy dinner with my fiancé's family. First time his extended family has met me, so I'm trying to make a good impression. Midway through, his daughter turns to me, smiles sweet as pie, and goes, quote, So how does it feel being a gold digger with a uterus? That's what my mom says you are.
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Whole table stops. Someone chokes on their wine. I just sat there stunned for a second and said, quote, Oh, honey, I'm not your mom. I just happen to be the woman keeping your life together while she's out getting her chakras aligned. Oh. Fiance was mortified. His daughter burst into tears and stormed out.
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He later said I stooped to her level and that I need to apologize because she's just a kid repeating what she hears. I told him I've spent years being disrespected and taking the high road. And maybe the real problem is that a 15 year old is walking around thinking she can say things like that and not get clapped back. Now his family is split. Some think I was too harsh.
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Others say I just finally said what no one else would. So am I the asshole for finally telling this girl I'm not her mom when she decided to come for me in front of the whole damn family?
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I'm just like, out of all the comments, you kind of snap back with one that doesn't make the most sense for the moment. You get called a gold digger with a uterus, and then you say, I'm not your mom. Like, I thought she said... Oh, yeah, she did say that. How does it feel being a gold digger with a uterus? How does that... How does that be like, I'm not your mom.
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I'm just the person who stepped in while your mom gets her chakras aligned. Which, okay, like, you're kind of snapping back at her mom because she said that's what my mom says you are. But to be like, well, I'm not your mom. Like, well, duh, you're not her mom. Yeah. Like, it's not even a comment that... Makes the most sense in terms of burns. It's like, well, your mama's fat.
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It feels like one of those. It's like a clap back where it's like you knew where to hurt, but also it doesn't even make sense. It's just like you just wanted to inflict pain.
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She's been with fiance for almost four years. Okay, so she's been around for like a large part of this kid's life. So from age 11 until she's now 15, which are very formative years.
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Especially a girl. i don't know this one's like this one's hard because i'm like what's the scoop though right why the gold digger uterus comment is the daughter and the mom talking like i mean op is 32 we don't know if op wants kids or not but like if op does want kids is is this daughter scared of getting replaced air quotes you know like i will say like
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Gold digger with a uterus. Yeah. So I'm a gold digger that's only good for my uterus. There's a lot of implications you can draw from that. Right.
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Like why you do it? I know. And I think there's something to be said like she doesn't want to be replaced. And I totally get that feeling as a kid where like your dad's dating and like my dad would date some women that wanted kids and like I was like I don't want to get replaced. I've got daddy issues and abandonment problems as it is.
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I would go to my husband. Yeah. I'm like, that's my person. Right. It's his parents. And it's also going to be like kind of probably earth shattering for him to get this news like, hey, your mom's having an affair with a 22-year-old apprentice at the family business. It's like sword, sword, sword, twist them all. Like it's so... So you definitely have to go to him.
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That's what I'm getting at. Like there's clearly some resentment there.
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And I think you picked up on it where you're like, It comes across in this post like maybe she doesn't like the child.
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But I think she's more so resentful at the mom for not stepping up. Right. A mom that forgot her kid's birthday.
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A mom that doesn't schedule her 15-year-old's doctor's appointment.
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Like, it seems like there's more so resentment at the mom. And I think the fact that, like, the little girl said, that's what my mom says you are. Yeah.
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that's like why this whole comment clapped back it was to hurt the mom or get under her skin but like you're getting you just it was a wrong execution it was wrong so i do kind of agree i'm like could it could i go everyone sucks here yeah are you the 32 year old and this is a 15 year old
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probably should have been the bigger person but hey 15 is old enough to kind of know what you're saying but you are still a kid so I'm kind of more towards you're the asshole I feel like there's definitely this over many years built up resentment being unsaid of like
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And I will say I think 100% because there is the comment here. I told him I've spent years being disrespected and taking the high road. Yeah. What's the scoop? Yeah, what's the scoop? What's the scoop? Give us the uterus scoop. What's the scoop? Is there something there? Tough comment on this post. I'd say you need to reevaluate this relationship and your role in it.
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OP goes, yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I stepped into this role to build something real, not to be treated like a live-in assistant with a uterus. If this is how I get repaid for holding it all together, then maybe I need to stop auditioning for a family that doesn't actually want me in the cast.
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are they implying because she has a uterus she's inherently motherly like i want to know what they mean by the comment i know because it doesn't sound like it i guess from what we've known so far it doesn't sound like it's directly correlated to giving birth i need to know what all of the hypotheses are about this one like what pause and tell your hypothesis what does this mean
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Someone replies to Opie's comment and goes, yep, if nothing else, I'd stop immediately organizing the 15-year-old's life. She can ask for help, but stop giving it to her automatically. I would also have a long talk with the fiancé and make the decision on whether he's a soon-to-be ex. Wow. People are jumping. Wow. Jumping the gun. A lot of comments from Opie. So someone goes, not the asshole.
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I have been watching How I Met Your Mother again, as you guys know, and Lily, one of the characters, like, confronted another one and was like, where's the poop, Robin? Basically being like, there's more to the story. Oh, I remember that now. I remember that now. You're lying or there's details you're not telling me. Sort of like, where's the body? Yeah. Exactly.
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He should be ashamed that his daughter said something like that, especially in front of his relatives. She only cried because she knows it's true and maybe she should learn some respect. Which, okay, again, she does know that this is an important dinner. It's the first time fiance, Opie, is meeting husband's family. She probably did this at a time to humiliate, to humiliate her.
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So, OK, I'm not you're the asshole anymore. I'm I'm more everyone sucks here.
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recognize that this is a child and like i can't match their energy like they yeah they get to be meaner to you than anyone else gets to be that's just kind of being a parent which you are stepping into that role if you're marrying this guy you're a parent figure you're not her mom but you still are a parent-like figure yeah and yeah you you can't But at the same time, it's like she's 15.
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She's probably got her learner's permit. She might be getting her driver's license in a month. 15 and what? Like, does she 16 tomorrow and she's about to drive and hit the roads? Like, that's an adult like privilege. So you should maybe act more mature. Yeah. OP responds to that. Right. Like, I didn't even come for her first.
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And then I would kind of take his lead on what he wants to do. Yeah. That's a good point. Except if he's like, I don't want to say anything. It's none of our business.
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She threw the first punch and got mad when I didn't just sit there and smile through it. If she's old enough to parrot that kind of nastiness, she's old enough to hear the truth. And as for my fiance, yeah, the fact that he was more worried about her feelings than what she said, that's not sitting right with me.
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I know. There's a couple more comments from OP. Someone goes, run for your life. You might not be in the wrong, but those are not really great circumstances for you. It's actually terrible. And OP goes, you're not wrong. The older I get, the less energy I have for being the emotional punching bag in someone else's family drama.
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Like I signed up for Love, not a middle school Mean Girls reboot featuring a child and her wine mom. Wow. Yeah.
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I know. An assistant with a uterus, as she said. Yeah. Again, the uterus comments. There's one last comment I'll read from O.P., The comment hurt, sure, but what really slapped me in the face was how normal it felt for her to say it, like this wasn't her first rodeo. The fact that he didn't shut it down immediately says more than her words ever could.
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I'm starting to realize I'm not just fighting for respect from a teenager, I'm fighting for it from the man who's supposed to have my back. Honestly, that might be the bigger red flag.
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I think his dad deserves to know. I agree. And like if there's an arrangement between the two of them where that's OK to have their fun, then. True. That could be the situation. Dad can tell him.
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reacted quicker than she did in that moment and like defended her and that comment shouldn't have even had to have been responded to no like that's your circus that's your little baby monkey like you you correct it yeah and maybe it was like just a quick knee jerk but i think that's like inherently us and human to like try to defend yourself
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So like while I don't think OP's comment was great to this kid, it does highlight bigger issues. So like, yeah, maybe this isn't everyone sucks here for me, for me. A lot of people are not the asshole on this post. There's no overall bot that determines a consensus on AITAH like it does on Am I the Asshole? But there are a lot of not the assholes. There's some you're the assholes.
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You stooped to her level. You should have held it together. And then, you know, everyone would have seen, hey, that's really where the issue is. Now you have this family drama where it's like it's out open and not constructive. There's a lot of back and forth on this post. So...
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Auditioning for a role that doesn't want me in their cast.
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And hey, maybe that's the thing. Like, I'm also coming from a place of my stepmom, my former stepmom, called me a little bitch because I pointed out that she was cutting French toast differently than my mom was. Yeah. So... I've been the kid with a crazy stepmom and like we are getting one side and OP seems like she's been a good parent figure for this girl. So it's not that, but it's a tough one.
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And I think honestly, this is going to be one of those situations that I think this is the end of the relationship for OP.
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It's sounding like she's realizing the disrespect is too much to put up with.
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Yeah, this is this is going to be a contentious one, I think. I'm I'm curious. Now I'm like I'm sitting here. I'm like, am I not the asshole? Like she deserves it. She is ready to drive a car, basically.
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Five is actually kind of big. Yeah. It's bigger than you'd think. I know. I saw a three-year-old the other day. I thought they were like in first grade. Yeah. I'm way off.
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Who am I? I don't know today. Yeah, I'm so interested.
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I don't know. I don't know. What do you guys think on this? Could she have kept it together a little better? Did she not need to? This was the camel's straw that broke the back. I mean... We'll see.
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oh yeah and then like gotten a comment back where i'm like oh like i wasn't expecting that i mean you do that with parents and like that is something that psychologists do talk about like you are sometimes the meanest to your parents when you know the love is so unconditional wait that might be
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There could be some deep issues here because I think even when kids like have parents like that aren't as involved or kind of ignore them, like you realize that as a kid, but you still want that parent's love. And so you try to like,
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seek their attention or their approval even if it's not what's best and like maybe this is a weird way of her trying to like win her mom's love and get her mom to pay attention to her like hey mom I'm on your side I said this at dinner like
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I do really think so. Yeah. I think if OP loves this guy, he needs to be willing to stand up for her. And if he's not, then I would walk. But if he's willing to start shifting things, I'd go to some family therapy with the three of them as a unit and get on a better page. And like, hey, your mom is your mom. I'm not your mom, but I'm here for you. I love you.
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It could be a happy ending, but he's got to buck up and start defending his fiance. And it's hard because your kids should come first. But you have this fiance who's being disrespected. And at a certain point, you do need to parent and discipline for terrible behavior.
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All you moms and dads, aunts, uncles out there. I don't know. You chime in.
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Yeah, I think I think so. And so I'm like, oh, did you have to go there? Maybe. But it did probably hurt your relationship that you've spent four years really doing a good job building. But she was being a little little shit. So what do you do? But moving along. Okay, this next one is coming from r slash relationship advice, two days old.
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It's titled, my wife saw a photo online and now she's not herself. How can I get her to open up? Not really sure how to even start this. I, 38 male, have been married to my wife, 36 female, for seven years. We met kind of fast, only knew each other for a year before we got married. It just clicked. She's always been calm, steady, not super emotional, but warm in her own way.
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Like she's the person that just handles things. A few nights ago, something happened and I don't know what to do with it. We were on the couch watching Chopped or something, both on our phones. Normal night. Then she froze. Just stopped everything. Got up, walked out of the room. No words, no expression. I found her sitting on the floor in the kitchen, crying. Hard.
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Like full on shaking, trying to breathe through it. I've never seen her like that. I thought maybe someone had died or something really bad had happened. I kept asking her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say. Then she handed me her phone. It was an Instagram post. A younger woman, maybe late 20s, standing with a guy. She was really pregnant.
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Beautiful photo, soft light, one of those maternity photo shoot kind of things. The caption said something about healing, starting over, breaking the cycle, building the family she never had. I asked who it was. My wife said, that's Elena. I remember the name barely.
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She had mentioned her once or twice in the past, never a full story, just things like, I hope she's okay, or she had a hard time growing up. I thought maybe it was a kid she used to mentor or something. Turns out they met about 10 years ago. My wife was 26, Elena was 18. My wife was volunteering with some group that helped young adults aging out of rough situations.
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Elena had no support, no family, just kind of floating. My wife helped her get her feet under her, helped with job stuff, housing, let her stay at her place for a while. She said they got really close. I don't know everything that happened back then. My wife won't really talk about it now. But based on how she reacted to seeing that post, it mattered.
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I don't think it was romantic or anything like that. It felt more like she looked out for her, maybe even loved her like family. Now Elena's out there, happy, safe, having a baby. And my wife just broke. It's been three days. She goes to work, comes home, lays in bed, barely eats, doesn't talk. I've tried asking if she wants to talk about it. She just says she's tired.
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Brought out some tea for us. Yeah, that's true, actually. Brought out some tea. One good thing it's ever done. So top comment on this post, if you're going to tell your husband, bring proof. And that's something we didn't consider. Like, did she take pictures of the email? Probably not. Do we have screenshots? Shoot. So someone goes, screenshot everything.
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She won't even look at me half the time. I suggested reaching out to Elena and she said, quote, she doesn't need me anymore and went quiet again. I don't know what this is about. Guilt? Feeling replaced? Regret about not being there? We never planned to have kids. We were always kind of on the same page about that.
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But now I'm wondering if she buried some of those feelings and this cracked it open. Or maybe it's just what happens when you see someone you cared about move on without you. I don't know. I'm just guessing. She won't let me in. I feel helpless. I don't know how to support her when she won't even tell me what she needs. Has anyone been through something like this?
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Where someone they loved shows back up in their life in a way that knocks the air out of them? I just want to help her. I just want her to come back.
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Yeah. But it's not happy tears. It felt like a lot more like panic attack.
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And I know like for me, I'm like, clearly their relationship was really close. Right. I don't know if it's romantic. And some might be like, oh, of course you're going to assume romantic. But it's like this is a big reaction to have if not for this being like a lost love of your life.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I have a friend that I'm no longer connected to, but I would never see a photo of her pregnant and start having this reaction despite being so close. And I loved her like a sister and thought she would be in my life forever. I still wouldn't have that reaction. So it's kind of a... It's a big thing that clearly something else is going on here. And why aren't you connected anymore?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Why are you not in touch? Why aren't you at least friends? You helped her out of such a, you know, rough, tough home situation. Let her live with you. Mentored her. I don't know. But like you're not connected at all. Yeah. What went down?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
If you're tech savvy enough, screenshot on the laptop, open a private browser to email them to yourself, delete the screenshots, and delete them from the trash. Otherwise, just use your phone to take pics. Just use your phone.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
potential i could see it girl that's my i mean why else this reaction and i think the comments kind of pick up on what we're picking up on yeah top one i'm going to play devil's advocate here but it seems weird to me the reaction she had if i had personally mentored someone who had a rough background and now they're living their best life the normal reaction would be happiness and feeling proud yeah
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
But to sit and ugly cry like someone died and then experience symptoms of depression? Based on that information, it feels like she's grieving a lover. Give it time and suggest she sees or talks to a professional. It's not healthy.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Well, now that you say that, like maybe maybe Elena did cut her off. Maybe Elena didn't want a reminder of such a bad time in her life. Yeah. Like you said, like, I do think there could be something there. And the comment from the wife being like, she doesn't need me anymore. It does speak to Elena maybe pushing her away and saying bye.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I could totally get that and see that. There are a lot of comments here. speculating that maybe OP's wife wants kids, struggled with, you know, infertility or things along those lines. And OP does have a comment to someone who this person first goes, are you sure she isn't regretting not having children?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
that she's not looking at this woman who had it so rough but managed to get pregnant while she hasn't. OP goes, that's not really possible considering that she grew up always not wanting children. It was one of our first important conversations in our relationship, and she made it super clear on staying child-free. And someone goes, that is kind of how regret works.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I personally don't and can't want children, but I have seen how much it matters to some people. I can definitely imagine people changing their mind or regretting it.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Someone else comments here. Was your wife previously married? Has this person stolen her previous husband or partner? Oh. People are really.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Look at those little hops they made. I like this way. Yeah. Okay. We're getting into it. Yeah. Nitty gritty. OP responds. No, she hasn't. She's only had two past relationships, which ended because life happened. Someone goes, I'm going to be honest here. This reads like a lesbian short film. Yes, exactly. There's one last comment from OP that I'll read.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I know you need. I feel like anytime you find like stuff like that, it's hard because like I wouldn't want to take pictures of nudes if they're sharing nudes. I feel like that's kind of like crossing a line, but like at least take pictures of the conversation and the trip itinerary. Yeah. Like that's a big deal to be going on a trip.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Someone goes, did they have a big falling out? And OP goes, no, my wife just says they went their separate ways.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
No update. We're going to have to. And now it's been like days and she's still acting weird. Like this is big. Yeah. This is big. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's lovers. I don't know if it's just a friendship and she got pushed away and she's devastated. But like this is big to go into this crying. Like he walked in and thought someone died. Yeah. Panic attack.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
actually wait like i kind of do i'm like well like i would say it's more so about this other person especially given like the caption of the post like healing breaking the cycle starting a healthy life or whatever it was like if that was someone you thought you helped heal and loved and went through this crazy part of her life with her and then you saw that caption it like maybe for the wife was like a slap in the face
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. And women like losing a friendship. And it can be like this for guys and just, you know, anyone a lot of times. But I feel like for me as a woman, like the friendships I've lost have been harder than a lot of my breakups. Yeah. It's just something about the connection where we're so emotionally connected. We share everything. We're such a village support system mentality.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And maybe that's it for her. Maybe it is finding out via social media posts. Like that would crush me. Like... I remember seeing a picture of this old friend of mine get engaged and it was like I didn't I was like I think I had a moment of like damn like it is weird not being connected anymore for someone I thought would be a bridesmaid and vice versa. But I all I thought was I'm happy for her.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I never I would never imagine this reaction but like for days I'm not her.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Which maybe maybe that is a part of it. Maybe she's feel like the person she knew is kind of like dying in a way because she's not involved. I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to need all the speculation in the comments. Like, what is this about?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
So crafty. Did she steal your your wife's ex? Yeah. I did not go there, but I could see it. I could totally see it. Yeah. Wow. One last one for us today. Okay. I'm going to give you a choice. Wow. I'm going to give you a choice on the last one. But you didn't give me a stress ball because you knew I couldn't be trusted. And if you can't pick, we'll let the coin flip. Option number one.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. This comment does go on to say, tell your husband he's going to know something is off with you and you'll worry yourself sick if you don't tell him. Is there a chance your mother-in-law and father-in-law have an open relationship? Okay, so someone's on the same page.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Am I the asshole for flashing my mother-in-law after she told me to not breastfeed my baby in my own house? Diva. Or option two, am I the asshole for refusing to change my birth plan to please my mother-in-law?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I recently had a baby and I've been breastfeeding her regularly. My mother-in-law came over on short notice while I was doing chores around the house. She picked some things from our garden and chatted with me and my husband. She sat down and started watching the news on the TV. I ended up watching TV a bit later, too, and I was tired. My baby started getting fussy.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I pulled down my top to start nursing her. My mother-in-law swung her head to me and gave me a look. She huffed and said, Really? Around me? I'll just start getting naked, too, and have it all hanging out, huh? and rolled her eyes at me.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
This isn't the first time she's done something like this, and the last time she made a comment while she was here for the day, I just took my baby into another room. Then my husband bought me a cover, but my baby doesn't like it when I use it. This time, I just had enough. I didn't have it all hanging out and I was doing it pretty discreetly, not even facing her.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I was tired and I wasn't really thinking. I just pulled off my top and stood up right in front of her and told her, quote, I'll feed my baby when I want in my house. She just stared at me and I added, if you don't like it, you can leave. Yes. I sat back down and she said, quote, I can't believe this girl and got up and left. My husband was there and afterwards said I didn't have to go that far.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He said mother-in-law texted him angrily. But I was just tired in the moment and all I was thinking about was just feeding my baby. Am I the asshole here?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Your options would be hire a private detective or inform the mother-in-law and get her to come clean or inform the father-in-law so we can decide how to move forward or do nothing. Yeah. OP responds, there is no chance they have an open relationship. My father-in-law was cheated on in a serious relationship with someone he thought he would marry, and it crushed him.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Insane. And it's like, I know people are like, oh, well, you know, modesty and blah, blah, blah. She's got boobs, too. Did she not breastfeed her kid? OK, maybe not. Maybe she was the bottom. That's her choice as a mom.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
ew yeah ew and then like like the husband buying a cover i have a problem with that okay so this has been an issue it's not the first time she's done something like this i want the scoop i want all the times i want all the info but the husband instead of saying mom our home yeah she's gonna feed the baby he goes and buys you a cover yeah
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Okay, some would say he's just trying to be helpful, Morgan. He's just trying to be helpful. Why isn't he being helpful by confronting his mom? Yeah. Have you ever tried to do something under a cover? It's not enjoyable. You get hot box. You can't breathe. You're overheated. Do you think a baby's going to want to try to eat suffocated under a cover? No, I can see why.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He was there. My husband was there. And afterwards, I didn't need to go that far. If I didn't need to go that far and you didn't want me to go that far, I guess you should have stepped up and came in the room and said, hey, mom, come in the kitchen with me. Come in the kitchen, mom. Yeah. You take care of your mom for being an incredulous bitch in my own fucking house. Okay. Go off, Morgan.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Morgan's bad. Like, what are you doing? Yeah, what are we doing? What are you doing? You always should defend your partner in front of people. If you want to deal with this later and be like, hey, like, but again, this is feeding your baby in your own home, your safe place, your sanctuary.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Disgusting talk. Top comment. Newish dad here. If my mother told my missus not to breastfeed, she would be told to leave. Ain't her kid. Ain't her breast. Next comment down. And ain't her house. I was going to say the same thing. Next comment. What is the saying our parents love to say? My roof, my rules.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He has always preached loyalty and monogamy in relationships to my husband since he was a teen. Oh, that's so sad. Times change, though. Like, I don't know. They've maybe now been together like 30 years, maybe. Right, right.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I love that. I want a chance to whip that back. Yeah. Someone goes, yeah, my husband was spoiling for a fight when I was breastfeeding. Quote, if anyone tries to tell you not to breastfeed anywhere, I'll take care of it. Right. Fortunately for the world, no one took issue with it, lol. But that's the kind of a husband's job when a baby is breastfeeding. Feed and defend mom, question mark.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Yeah. Yeah. There's a comment here. This was my first reaction as a dad myself, responding to someone being like, I'm a newish dad here. My own mother knows her boundaries because we set them and enforce them. It boggles my mind taking mom's side over your wife. All the husbands showing up in the comments. Let's go. Pop off, Kings. Pop off.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Next comment down, like the next top one, gold box, almost 5K upvotes now. Not the asshole. She needs to fuck off. She can watch the news in her own home. And if your husband doesn't get a fucking spine, I'd send him packing to his mommy's too. Okay, Morgan. He sounds just like you. I'm reading this with such vitriol. I know. That's a big wolf, Elmo. I don't see any comments from OP.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
They have since deleted their account. Oh. I'm not sure whether they just wanted to be.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Affirmed in there. Whatever. They got what they came here for. Right. And now they are gone. Sometimes it happens like that. And now we are gone. And we got what we came here for. Sure did.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I got to gab. We got a little gossip. We got goosebumps. Gab, gossip, goosebumps. Gagged. Gagged. Just kidding. Gagged. God. God. I'm like still.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Wild assortment. Wild assortment. I have so, so, so, so, so many tabs for this theme though. So I think I'm going to have to. Part two it. Part two it. Let me know though. Cause I'm recording week to week right now. I don't have a back catalog. Little procrastinator. So if you hate it, you don't like this theme.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
And so then I started going down this rabbit hole with a couple of stories I have about like insider info. Like there's clearly some insider info or knowledge here that these OPs have. And I want to know what the tea is. Right. What's the gossip?
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Gagged goosebumps. I don't know. We're going to have to get tricky with the title. Gabbing. Gabbed goosebumps. I don't know. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
What's the sitch? What's the scoop? What's the scoop? Thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode. Head over to Patreon if you want more. We've got a bonus episode with Lauren. A bonus episode with Dad and Justin. That is totally free. A lot of good stuff. Mikayla, you might be on a bonus episode this month. Maybe we keep going on this for a bonus episode and we get into that one.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I know there's a lot of hot takes on open relationships and like they never work. Someone gets jealous. Someone wants to close it. I feel like that's such a teach their own thing. But I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. A lot of people are concerned about OP and like losing her job.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
There's comments that I've worked for the family business for two and a half years and I still consult on the side with my last job. So I can go back with an open invite. Like, yeah, it's all good there.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
but we have an update i knew i would because like we're getting the scoop we're getting the scoop and i just had to approve it as a moderator because it looks like it might have got removed but i can still see it so yay oh my god update i shouldn't have been surprised by the amount of people who told me to keep it to myself and that i was in the wrong for snooping people said that Apparently.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
It was such an accident. And like it was right there in front of your eyes. Did you have to click in the email? No.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I'm always going to peek. And the thing is, like, the mother-in-law said, like, hey, use the computer all you want. Yes. If she was concerned about something that was on there, she could have said, like, okay, hey, just, I'd appreciate you, like, not using it, sorry.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
email opening that's on a work computer like what would you expect to see there yeah not an affair in a work email no not an affair like come on that's not she's not like she's going in a whatsapp or a locked notes app yeah yeah i shouldn't have opened the email but i did so here we are and here's an update my husband knew something was wrong after he got home he can read me like a book i told him i found out something i shouldn't have and i told him everything
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
I've really like come to terms with what the show is. And I literally was walking in the studio today and I was like, that is it. And now I'm like, oh my God, what was it? And it's like, it's like we live for the drama that doesn't involve us.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
He was mortified. But as some said, he's glad I told him because keeping it from him would have been way worse. He knew more about the apprentice than I did. He was the son of a family friend, and she's known him since he was a teenager. No, not today. No. Oh, no. Hiring him was a... favor to said friend. How long have they been together? I'm sick.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
My husband said he wanted to take him from there, which he did. He went snooping on his own. The computer is company property and he has ownership in it as well and can log in remotely at any time. Oh, my God. He took screenshots of emails going back with the apprentice over a year before he worked here.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Then of ones with someone else that were two years old and then records of a second phone and hotel reservations. With all that, he took it to his dad. Holy shit.
Two Hot Takes
212: Gab, Gossip, & Goosebumps..
Oh, my God. I don't know how that conversation went, but I do know that they went to get him tested. To add insult to his injury, he tested positive. What?
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I know I was thinking about, you know, when you had some clothes disappearing and if you had found someone going through your stuff and then went to the level of cutting it. Oh boy. Oh man.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Putting the stuff in the hotel and handing you the key is not that.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Well, there's a definitely a good side, a good thing to being blunt, sometimes being straightforward, transparent. But when you do it to a fault, it starts to make me think, what is the nature of this friendship? Because I think some people keep certain friends around that, yeah, when you guys are together doing your thing, it can be really fun. You have good conversations. You talk.
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199: A Chaotic Distraction..
whatever you do it's a good time but they keep you around because you are somehow an easy target for them to make themselves feel better about whatever insecurities they have or xyz i just think sometimes people will keep you know quote unquote friends like that around and
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
four times when then when they're in a big group it's like you can this person kind of becomes a punching bag and it seems like they have over the years i know and it's really revealing that that side of this right now with this whole weird groomsman with the jealous girlfriends thing that's a whole other thing to get into strange this is what it is very interesting group of people
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But the fact of what she has said to you and the way she's treated you, it's very condescending. No matter how you put it, you don't have to say he won't be attracted to you. He won't this. If you really want to get down to that because you're really trying to
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
mitigate these ultra jealous girlfriends you could do it in a better way where you're like his type is all blondes and you're brunette so we feel like this will feel fine something like that instead of being like a a couple years ago you're not going to plan my trip the way i want i i just don't want to be disappointed when you wreck my whole wedding
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And then B now, it's like, oh, you're perfect for the job. No one's going to be threatened by you. It's just the way everything's phrased. Yeah, it's great that you're really straight up and say things how they are, but not when you're doing it in this. Condescending is the main word that keeps coming to my head, but it's just flat out mean, right?
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But wouldn't you rather expose that? I personally go there and be there for someone who's just having you up there. What sounds like for numbers anyway.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I mean, like to even out the sides almost, you know, I wouldn't be surprised.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I mean, I do think you should confront it and see what happens. Because it's very telling the way she'll react.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And yeah, I mean... It's worth a shot. If you don't want the conflict and you're kind of already into this wedding, like let's say you've already bought your dress and whatever else has happened, then you know what? It doesn't... And let's say all the other people there are your friends too. Then go be in the wedding and then fade out like you said.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But if you... You've got choices. You could... You could talk about this after the wedding if you wanted. You could. But, I mean, if you want to be as blunt and straight up as she is, then you could do it now.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But I do think it is, all of this is very telling. And maybe the friendship has evolved. Which, I mean, you even said it evolved, right? You don't, it's not the same as when you were younger.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And that happens. It's natural and normal. Yeah. You know, I'm curious about the effort, if this is a two-way street friendship, just on a day-to-day basis. I'm curious what the interactions are like. But it's really your call. It's your call. But if you plan on having this be a friendship long-term, and if a wedding or some major event is in your future...
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I would really start thinking about it because a lot of times when you're in someone's wedding, then they're in yours as well. So is she someone you would have standing up there with you? Or, I mean, if that's a yes, then I'd really try and think about bringing up the topic and seeing how it evolves from there.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Yeah. I mean, also that whole groomsman bridesmaid situation is really weird. The whole, the whole setup of this wedding is very weird. Yeah. But what I will say about friends is I think there's a lot of pressure on friendships from when you're younger to last forever. Like, oh, we're going to be best friends forever. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And the reality is you don't only make your lifelong friends when you're a kid. Yes, technically, if you were friends for your entire life, you'd be friends for longer. But for us right now and anyone listening, our context of a lifelong friend can also start right now because our life right now is from now until the end.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And if you meet a new friend sometime right now or in 20 years or in 30, however many years, you can still meet a lifelong friend. Because in your context of now to the future, they would be in your life for the rest of your life.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
So you never really... There's never a need to pressure yourself in a relationship, a friendship, even with a family member, to remain close and connected because of the history.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Yeah. Well, and then also with the being confident about your passions and that kind of thing.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
You should broadcast that. You should start talking about that more because what if you meet another one of the bridesmaids and they're like, Oh my God, me too. And then you meet your next best friend or just day-to-day life at work. Why are you hiding who you are? If you go out and you put on an anime shirt of your favorite show, You don't know who you'll meet.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
And then all of a sudden you have all these friends around you that are passionate about the same things and you don't have to hide any part of who you are. That's amazing. Imagine the feeling of that.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Correct. Life is too short. And also your best friend or best friends don't have to also share your passion. No. But they, if they're a good friend, they'll respect them. And you know what? They'll watch the anime show with you even if it's not their thing because they just like spending time with you and doing something that you love to do.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
It's just you lift up the ones around you if you're a true friend.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Oh, well, I want to know what the sus, I want to know what all these other things are. That's valuable context. But regardless, you always hear people say, oh, I don't know why she chose me. She's out of my league, that kind of thing, which is a much more sensitive, normal approach to that kind of joke, if you will. But then that way it wouldn't necessarily be a joke.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I think a lot of people say things are jokes after they're taken the wrong way or offend somebody. Oh, it was just joking. It was just joking. But in any case, I think it was a good time then, a door opened to be able to play the joke game back and say, well, I'm giving you a prenup. And you know what?
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
It's a great way to test it because just as much as he's trying to get out of that insensitive thing being a joke, you can play the same card, but you're not even, you still haven't steeped down to that level.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I assume there is. Is it the interest in the dad's company? Is she building ownership in that? Is it being handed down to her? I don't know what's the size of the company. Is it stock option? I mean, yes, you guys have a kid and a house together, but it depends what you're coming in with. And inheritance, I think you don't necessarily even need a prenup.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But I wonder if you've had things you've been gifted or something coming in or who knows? It could be a variety of reasons.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Yeah, I always get a bad taste in my mouth when it's not normal in the relationship. And then all of a sudden something pushes someone to start yelling. And once we cross into that territory... I don't know. I just don't... I've never been a person to get up to that, raise my voice, get... And some, you know, some do.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Some people thrive off of it. It's how they communicate, but...
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I don't know if you'll ever be able to know. That's the hard part about this. How would you actually be able to with 100% confidence
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Nobody can actually be certain that they'll never split up. That's, I mean, come on. I know. That's what every, you think people get married? I mean, maybe some, maybe. But do you think people really get married with the intention of, oh yeah, we're going to get divorced? Everyone thinks they're in it for the long run.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Right. I just thought that was so strange. That shouldn't necessarily give you bulletproof confidence in condoms. It's just, it's not common.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
But if it's happening consistently, then it's like, then that's, that's weird.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
I've never once thought about putting a pill in a microwave. That's just like two worlds coming together. I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Especially when it's uncharacteristic to blow up because I can see that. Well, and he's putting all his eggs in one basket thinking, I've got it. This is it. And then she puts in a roadblock of the prenup and that's the first time he really blows up and the shoe fits.
Two Hot Takes
199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Right. I think a lot of times you are correct that when people have a huge aversion to a prenup, it's mostly due to them not understanding what it is. Because a lot of people, I think it's portrayed in pop culture as something that's so negative. And, oh, you just think I'm coming to take all your money and this and that.
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199: A Chaotic Distraction..
Not understanding that it's not about, oh, then when we separate, like, I'm going to kick you out. And there you go, walking down the street with your one bag of shit. It's so much more complicated than that. It really is. Because then things that assets you acquire, anything that becomes mutual property while you are together and married is,
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it the prenup doesn't take that stuff away it's it's they're so complicated and they're all different usually yeah but it is simply to protect both people and like you said earlier to allow you to to have the control about your split at a time when you two aren't able to sit down and
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have an you know an agreeable conversation i'm totally projecting you're just preparing that if you get to a spot where you guys are just battling and you cannot you just you don't want to there's a clear take advantage it's hey we at a good time prior we agreed that this is how things are going to be done i think that's really smart
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Okay, first of all, OP is absolutely just straight up dumb. Like, you are an idiot, okay? First of all, that has idiot written all over it. Stamp on the forehead, idiot. What? Yeah. Do you hear yourself? You're going to take nine months to decide, I'm just ready to get serious with this girl. I haven't had time yet.
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Well, it's clearly not an overreaction with this context. Even without everything else, you are disagreeing on very, very large things. Huge. Decisions about the future, big decisions. And if we can't come to an agreeance on those at a minimum... Then the rest of this doesn't matter anyway.
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But yeah, now, you know, with the context and with stirring on this a little bit, I think sometimes alcohol can. bring out the truth in people it can let down their guard and actually reveal who they truly are and so maybe in that moment the alcohol of in getting super drunk removed that shield and then for a second Maybe it's been weighing on him.
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This guy doesn't seem to be one that has a really big conscience. I think he's really manipulative. He's a planner.
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But if you're stirring on something for so long, you know you did something terrible. Even if you're a terrible person, maybe some bit of that to where it feels good just to tell someone. And maybe the alcohol that night got him to a place where maybe you could call it a slip or like a lack of judgment in the moment. If you're really trying to hide this, but, Maybe that revealed something.
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Because a lot of people try to excuse things away by calling them a joke.
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But it was so... It was such like a... You know when people tell those jokes that kind of make you uncomfortable because they're just kind of nasty jokes and just seem dark? That's kind of how this one felt from the beginning. There's so much to unpack here. It's oddly specific to their situation now that we know everything.
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And also it's just... It's just dark. It's just bad energy.
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Unfortunately, I mean, I shit, I don't even want to co-parent with him.
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I understand. I understand. But it's just, oh, it's just such bad vibes.
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yeah i want to make it official but there's one little bump in the road that we have to get over and that's um she blocked me because i fucked her sister yeah her sister tricked me and uh i don't know i think we're cool we should be cool but i'm blocked because now i want to make it official send me the username i want to block your ass too this is just stupid this is so dumb and also for her like quite the sister you have you kidding me scum
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Not one of those reasons is reason to stay with someone that is this guy that doesn't make you happy, that's manipulating, that's getting straight up scary. Scary.
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I want to know how you were tricked. Like, oh, you guys aren't official yet. It's not cheating. It won't matter. And then you can just become official right after and you didn't cheat. You didn't do anything wrong. Perfect. Then what? You think you're not going to be tempted to sleep with a sister again? After you make it official with this girl?
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That's your answer. When you felt the need to reach out and say, he's making me uncomfortable.
Two Hot Takes
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That is when you already made this decision. Don't feel bad. Your parents are not going to care about losing a few grand because thank God you found out now. The sooner the better.
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And fully paying for the entire wedding when it's going to blow up anyway.
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It's $10, $11, $12. It's a lot. But $1.99 is pretty good.
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Like, no, no. I mean, it's just, he's scary. There's, I'm just trying to think through all those reasons because yes, being a single mother is very daunting when you're staring at that as the next step. But man, is that just night and day better than what this seems to be evolving into? We all wish we could have the little peek into the future so that we could make these decisions easier.
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But I don't know if you need... Because she kind of seems like she's in shock.
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And it's really hard to make a solid decision when you are so emotional, when everything is like just, you know, when it's all just happened. And with that, yeah, let some time pass. Hang out at your parents.
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I actually think it'd be really healthy for you to start discussing all this with your parents because I think your parents can be some of your best advice givers because they've also lived this life. They've been around longer than we have. They have a little more wisdom. And also just get to the point where it's not so emotional.
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It's a little more logical and look at all of it out in front of you and say, what is really best for me, my child and my future?
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah. I mean, God damn, that's the ultimate card to play.
Two Hot Takes
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Listen, I know I cheated, but right away I did say no. Okay, I did say no. Idiot. So I'm good now, right?
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Or yeah, you become the bad guy and it makes the whole thing worse.
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Because the number one thing that I've seen is people when they're in bad situations and you try to point it out, they get very defensive. Defensive. And then they lock down with that person and isolate themselves with them even more. And then that door is closed. Yeah. And it closes for a lot of other people that they would have otherwise maybe listened to.
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So it's an extremely tough place to be in as a friend, as a parent. Whatever the relationship is, when you see someone going through something, and then there becomes the fine line between you got to let them learn the hard way or you got to really step in and say, hey, this isn't right. I mean, these are all situations we'll encounter in life.
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And it's hard. It's hard when you're on the outside, especially watching your child go through it.
Two Hot Takes
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I know you caught me speeding, but I wasn't speeding right before that or after. I actually slowed down once I saw you. So if you average it out, my average speed, I wasn't speeding.
Two Hot Takes
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Well, okay, my last thought for now is that she is in a very privileged situation. That should be factored in. That all matters in this context.
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Take advantage of the very extremely supportive, amazing parents you have. You already work for your dad's company, so it doesn't sound like you're locked in a certain location, right? It seems like you can do remote, you can do whatever. So you can move.
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I would go back closer to where my parents are if you really feel like you need to get back and you need their support and help with the child and as you kind of figure out this new normal for you. But I would take full advantage of whatever you can going into this scary new world. But it's less scary than the world you could end up in.
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No, I think you really truly revealed something and I wouldn't take that lightly. Kind of goes like with what you say when people show you who they are, believe them. This really feels like that. It seems like he may be motivated by the fact that she could come back. And that's why he's being all like, I'm perfect and we can have a perfect family.
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I appreciate that more than getting worse and aggressive and all these other bad things. I'm just a little worried what happens when he realizes it's not going to happen.
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And so I would be trying to mentally prepare for that. I'm glad we have a six hour gap in distance here, at least.
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Maybe, or it could be on story. I mean, it's not the weirdest way to find out.
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I wouldn't put past him to be checking friends' stories and things like that. But I don't know. I think we're in a good place. I think the hard decision has been made and you're just dealing with the reality of that sinking in.
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Well, they make the person feel like that they're crazy. They're overreacting. They're blowing it up out of proportion.
Two Hot Takes
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Well, yeah, but your type of response would be way out of character for this guy.
Two Hot Takes
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My gut is saying that she won't, but it's also not impossible. I just think as the reality of big life change sets in, whether for better, like this, you do have a lot of...
Two Hot Takes
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well what if this or am i doing this you have a lot of thoughts that circuit circulate through your mind and it can be very confusing but i think that enough has happened to where it's just not i hope that she doesn't turn because the other thing too is once you break up with someone all you can remember is all the good things rose-colored goggles go back on
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But you got to keep reminding yourself of the bad things. And specifically on this one, I think take yourself back to the moment when you texted your dad. That shouldn't ever have to happen in a relationship. And so I would go back to that moment anytime you're even thinking about Oh, maybe he is back to normal. And that was just a weird thing. Like, no, you had to get to that point.
Two Hot Takes
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He's watching the money run away. That's what he's doing.
Two Hot Takes
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No and yes. I thought... Well, I didn't, but I hoped because it's a Reddit story, right? I was hoping it was the first pack like, hey, I'm getting you your own set because maybe we could play sometime.
Two Hot Takes
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I want to bring you into my world. That's kind of cute. You know, I know you're not into it, but hey, let's just try it.
Two Hot Takes
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And then the next box is the hoodie and all the beauty products you wanted, right? That would have been kind of just fun and playful and just like, hey, maybe just try it with me sometime. Yeah. But holy shit, dude. Yeah, I mean, this is, you know, it's not like you guys didn't discuss the gifts or what you wanted. You even talked about the budgets and all this.
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So anyone that wants to make you happy and give you a great gift would get you what you wanted. It's really not that difficult. And there's no way to make an excuse. And also now the behavior of pouting and saying, oh, you don't know how expensive those were and you're not appreciating the gifts I got for you. That wasn't for me. Shut up, dude. What is going on?
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Your logic? You have no logic. Don't even talk about logic.
Two Hot Takes
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You could have got that not as a gift for her and as a gift for like the household. Say, hey, maybe this will help us stay a little more clean and then I'll still touch it up after.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah, so you didn't not spend money. He spent a lot of money. You didn't fulfill the budget. It's just you totally missed the whole point.
Two Hot Takes
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I don't care if they've learned a valuable lesson. I don't care. I'm on the team of the girl who blocked him.
Two Hot Takes
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So it's that paired with now the pouting and the fallout.
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Ew. And now I think those... Right. Because you look at this and you're like, oh, he got me the wrong gift for Christmas. Is it breakup worthy? It's not. That's not the question. The question is the overall like situation. It's saying a lot more than. And the behavior of it. It's not being considerate. It's not being a partner. It's maybe just not even listening properly.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah. So it has broad implications. For sure. And so with that, I think you are on the right track of maybe not, don't need to continue this one.
Two Hot Takes
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I don't care. I don't care if this OP's learned a lesson. I don't care.
Two Hot Takes
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No, and then he can still collect them and retrieve them. True. Keep the cards. But it would be satisfying watching him run around a yard trying to pick them all up.
Two Hot Takes
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You know who would say that? The guy from the first story. I think you got her a pretty nice gift.
Two Hot Takes
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Well, okay. We have a choice. Penny, dime, nickel, quarter, SB, Anthony dollar, Eisenhower dollar, or palladium eagle.
Two Hot Takes
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That was a long flip. Cheating fiance. I haven't seen you in a long time.
Two Hot Takes
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I boiled water. I touched it with my hand and my hand got burned. Oh, I probably shouldn't have touched the water that was boiling. Yeah. Okay. Yep. That was my bad.
Two Hot Takes
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No, I think it is the end of a 12 year friendship because you are at a moral, just you're at your limit. Yeah. And with that, you don't want to be around her and her fiancee
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because of the actions and all of this stuff that you disagree with, now that is also being applied to your friendship where you have just been a convenient confidant that she can rely on to clear her conscience and not be the only one stuck with all this stuff.
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And then she'll expect you and now you have to carry that. And in doing so, that in itself, you don't agree with the actions. I mean, how can you continue a friendship with someone that you just cannot even morally respect?
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That's exact. That's no different than what we're talking about right now.
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well, you this, and I mean, I'm curious what attacks she threw at you. If it started to go outside of the topic, it was like, well, you've done this and you've been a bad friend with this. And then clearly we're at a time where this friendship has met its end and we've outgrown it, which is fine. but not a situation you'd want to stay in because it's just going to end up being unhealthy for you.
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If it takes this mental toll on you, anytime you, I mean, I wouldn't even see, I understand not wanting to hang out with your friend and their fiance knowing this, but now at the point we're at, even just hanging out with your friend feels like it would be a burden, right? So we're kind of just at a natural end.
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And yeah, if you yourself don't want to stand up there and stamp approve this marriage essentially, then don't do it. Because you don't want to all of a sudden have that weighing on you forever. So that would be doing all of this because of the past. I mean, in all of these we mentioned, it'd be losing 12 years of friendship. Well, be grateful you had the 12 years, but it's not the same now.
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You're not going to have any other valuable years you look back on if it's going to stay like this and be like, I'm so glad I have this friendship and that's lasted this long. It's different now. Cherish what you had, but it's not there anymore.
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What's disrespectful? It doesn't matter what culture we're talking about here.
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Oh my God. I'm thinking about like my favorite jackets and things. No, dude. No.
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No, break up with him because of his mom. Flip it. He's trying to flip it on you. Flip it back. You've done nothing wrong. All the blame is on their side. Why the fuck is he coming in being like, I'm breaking up with you because, no, no, no, no, no. What? I, me, OP, I'm actually breaking up with your stupid ass because your mom cut up my shit.
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And mom and son should go hang out with the guy from the last story. I think they'd get along.
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Especially because he in no way seems to be taking your side or having your back.
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So this isn't a partner. This is some relationship we had. Also hosting someone's parent for months on end. even in the most perfect situation. Nope. That's tough.
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I mean, I did pretty well, you know, coming in and living with you and Jerry for a little bit, but months on end, especially when you add in the fact that they're cutting up your clothes and going through your stuff in the first place, I'm surprised you handled this as well as you did because some people would really pop off.
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Sure. And I know you shouldn't have to go down to someone's level. But this falls more in just the petty category and in the kind of petty that I like. It feels justified. There's justified petty. Then there's, you know, petty to just be an asshole. And then there's just downright stooping down to someone's level and just being, you know, a bad person. This to me is in the justified petty zone.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. As you guys know, wedding coming up, and I want my teeth to be white. So I was super happy when I went to the dentist the other day, looked at my pictures from six months ago, and my teeth are noticeably whiter. And that's thanks to Colgate Optic White.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I would. I'd call and be like, I'm so sorry. You have to live with the burden of this being your son.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I'm going to first I'm going to open this bottle just in case it just explodes.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Yeah. Well, and he's like, well, you didn't pay for everything. She paid for that entire room by herself. Yeah. And I'm sure her credit card was on file. If he would have just walked out after smashing that cake all over, that damage bill, that cleaning bill, whatever it was, would have gone on her card. Like, don't act like, oh, I had to pay for the cake and the cleaning.
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But she said something really, really, really good. Okay, so I found the video. It's from Sham. And she says, silence fails. Always crash out. It felt very prolific. Yeah. It felt mantra. You know what I mean? I just usually crash out like behind the scenes. See, and she doesn't.
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I know, but there's some... In what world? Like, in what world? The amount of videos I've seen of brides getting cake smashed and, like, same shit. Oh, my God. I saw this one little couple from Utah, and I say little because they're, like, I think she literally got married the day she turned 18. And... The Madison Humphrey girl I follow on Instagram or TikTok is hilarious.
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She's been like parodying them because they got married and then went to like a sip and sips or something. I don't know. They got soda. Sip and sip some more. Sip, sip. I don't know. It's a Utah thing. Clearly, I'm not up on the trends there. But he like literally like tried to smash the cake and then she runs after him. I'm just like.
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You're too young to be married and I can tell based on this video.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I want someone to comment. I want someone to chime in and say, I would like to be smashed with cake. And it's not at a Steve Aoki concert. It's at your birthday or your wedding party.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I want a woman. Or... Anyone who got their eyebrows done, got their lashes done, and got their hair done. I want them, after doing all of that... Okay.
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I'm just flabbergasted by anyone's rationale that, like, I'm going to smash her face in this cake and it's going to go over well. I would, if he wanted to, like, cake smash, I would rather see him hold the cake, vroom, up to his face and motorboat it.
Two Hot Takes
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No. That one's incredible. Okay, cool. Clues, when we premiered our podcast, they got us a cake, me and Kaylin, with our faces on it.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I thought they were just cake bakers. I'm unfamiliar with that. What?
Two Hot Takes
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Anyways. Okay. Let's get into the comments on this one. Not the asshole. Justifiable crash out. Self-defense. Swing away, queen. Top comment. His mother feels humiliated. You came off violent. All caps. Did she not see what he did to you? And then they quote what Opie says when it was my turn. I was holding the cake when he pushed my face towards the cake. I tried to fight it.
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His family started cheering and he arched over my body and forced me to bend until my face smashed into the cake. How does one do this to their future spouse and then act like it was nothing but fun times? Mm hmm. This. At my wedding, my husband's family were egging him on to shove cake in my face.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
And prior to the wedding, I sat him down and told him I paid thousands for the dress, hundreds for my hair and makeup. And if he pushed cake into my face, it would forever taint our wedding day for me. Because it's not funny, it's embarrassing and cruel. It's just not a good joke. It's honestly, it feels like a form of dominance. Like it feels like a...
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
fuck you and I'm gonna show you what I think of you and it's taking your cute little face and smashing it into a cake because that's like It honestly feels like the most big, big, bigly, big-ass way to just assert dominance over someone and just essentially be like, you are beneath me. I can control you. I can overpower you. And I will embarrass you. This is all at your expense.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
My enjoyment, my laughter is at your expense. And that, if you are with someone like that,
Two Hot Takes
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I'm going to go see if there's any other comments.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
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Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Oh, if I ever see this in person, I'm rushing that dude. I will tackle him like a rhino.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Don't have partners like that. Don't have friends like that. To still be friends after that. Diabolical. We don't have any updates from OP. Only a couple comments. She thanked someone for sharing a DARVO reference, which is just like what abusers will do after an incident. And for those unfamiliar with DARVO, DARVO is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim, and Offender.
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It's a manipulation tactic used by perpetrators of abuse to deflect blame and avoid accountability.
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It is. And there's one last comment from OP where OP is like, I have asthma. Like, I was panicking because I was like, my nose was going to get blocked. So this was a long struggle. Yeah. That's messed up. Very, very just fucked up. But moving along to our next story. I could talk about cake all day. I could too. I'm hungry. I had a cookie right before coming here. Oh, yum.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Well, you can also hear each other so well. It's so crazy because it's like, I know you're over there, but you're right here.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
It's so crazy. Everyone needs to experience it once.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Whoa. Whoa. I didn't say anything. After he left, I just went back to work. I ignored it that first time, but it kept happening. Josh would come alone to chat, and each time he was visibly hard. And I could see it through his flimsy shorts or sweatpants or thin dress pants. Like he didn't even act embarrassed or try to hide it. He would just stand there like it's nothing.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
He acts normal around everyone else and this hasn't happened any other time I've seen him. Not with others around. Oh. Just when it's only us. Eww. I don't like that. I didn't bring it up to anyone yet. I just didn't want to appear dramatic and didn't want to make myself a target. Then he started making comments. Quote, it's hot out. I had to wear these shorts today.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
One day, Josh came over and he asked me to come to his apartment nearby over lunch. I politely declined. And as he was leaving, he said, quote, all right, I've got to go to the bathroom to take care of something. See you around. while glancing down. Ew. I hate this. He clearly had an erection and the outline was clear.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
That was it for me. I went to HR and reported everything. HR put Josh under review and he ended up being fired with cause. Now some of my coworkers are icing me out. One of my coworkers sarcastically muttered out, quote, I made sure to wear proper pants today. Didn't want anyone to get any ideas. Oh, wow. While I was having lunch near some of them and they laughed.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
My boss has been talking to me less and I feel alienated. I just wanted Josh to stop.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Not the asshole. Honestly, I would start documenting other people's comments because retaliation is not okay.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
being fired as well that type of shit yeah and also like you're interning like this is the start of your career where you're supposed to be getting like really good experience and like if this were to then put a stain on your resume or whatever going forward like that's unacceptable like I would I would start really documenting everything and if they don't take it seriously you could potentially have a lawsuit on your hands
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Crash out in real time. Okay. Okay, she's back. Just get rid of all that. Let's just start over from the top. Okay. There was a lot of effort that I just put into the beginning, so... We're just, we're gonna, it's fine. We're fine. Everyone's fine. It's okay to crash out. It's okay. You know, your feelings are valid if you're crashing out. But was it justifiable? I don't know.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
He asked her to come to his apartment over lunch. Would she have made it back? Josh is giving, honestly, serial killer. I know that might be a little aggressive. You might be mixing in your other podcast. Dude, people start, these dudes that start, they start by being really freaking weird.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Just not to create panic? I don't know. Like, I really don't know. But it's literally like I saw one of the like TikToks on it and everyone was like, I've literally been calling the cops reporting someone running on my building for months. This is the building next door to me where this person got killed. Like apparently they've been like running on the roof.
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216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I saw one where this guy went up to someone's house.
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I literally will watch like people. My house is lit up like a Christmas tree when it comes to cameras. And I get a notification the minute someone steps onto my curb and it follows them. The camera tracks them to the front door. And then I have a doorbell camera and I sit there and I watch it. Yeah.
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Yeah, this one's not fine, though. I'm curious. There's no comments from OP that I can see on the post. OP has since deleted their account. Obviously, probably not getting an update on this one. But if anyone out there is in this situation, always go to HR. This is not treatment you need to put up with. This is sexual harassment. This is terrible. Mm-hmm.
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And honestly, I, like, wonder what company policy is. Like, can you have, like, a little camera at your desk just recording everything? Because from a coworker doing weird shit like this to another one saying you said some shit to them and it's like, no, I got it on tape, bitch. I wish you could have cameras on your job and just, like, be recording.
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I just started watching The Last of Us. I am hooked, but holy shit, does that show scare me.
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Don't imply anything. I don't know. I actually don't want spoilers for once. It's like a first. It feels wrong, weird. Top comment on this one. Sounds 100% intentional. Gross behavior. Absolutely not the asshole. Dude's a menace. Next comment down. Guys learn how to hide their erections in junior high. He was definitely wanting you to notice.
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We're gonna determine that today with part two of these crazy, goofy, wild stories. Now you get to be the judge. Michaela did a pretty good job, I think. I haven't, episode hasn't come out yet. It comes out tonight, so... I can't say if people even like this theme yet. I could be recording this and people are like, never do this theme again.
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If your coworkers know exactly why he was fired, they are the assholes. The co-workers are also playing with fire, says the next comment. They know why Jocko was let go and are continuing to bring it up for laughs and make OP uncomfortable. That workplace needs a shake-up. Next comment down. Thank you, this commenter.
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This could certainly be considered retaliation, especially if there's management involved. They need to know it's not okay, and they can get in just as much trouble as Josh did. OP might need to make another trip to HR. That's what I'm saying. Next comment down. She needs to speak to an employment lawyer.
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It was basically sexual harassment from Josh and retaliation from other coworkers after he got canned. Mm-hmm. I think so. Moving along to our next one. Okay. This next one is coming from AITAH, four days old, titled, Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend after he skinny dipped in our pool with my sister at home?
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Hello Reddit, my boyfriend, 31 male, was home with my sister, 19 female, while I was out and I got home and my sister was locked in the guest room and she told me she had something to tell me. What? Locked in there? She had been staying over for a couple of days. She said that she looked outside her room window and saw my boyfriend swimming naked in our backyard pool and she saw everything.
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She said that later she was in the kitchen and he walked in and he wasn't wearing anything and she could see his junk and he stopped and said hi and waved. And she was shocked. Oh my God. And he walked by her before going to his room to grab some clothes and then walked naked through the hallway to the shower and had a long shower. What the? Why? This should be called the creepy wiener episode.
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She said she was frozen and embarrassed. She then went to her room and locked herself in until I got home. I confronted my boyfriend and he just said that he felt like skinny dipping because it was hot out and that he lives there so he thought it was fine. It's my house and he's living with me and I told him he's a fucking creep.
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He didn't even apologize to my sister when she saw him before I broke up with him on the spot and told him to get the fuck out. He then told me that he can apologize now and not to overreact, but I told him we are done. He wouldn't leave immediately, and I screamed in his face that I'll call my sister's boyfriend over and we'll see what he fucking does to him when he hears what happened.
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And so he left. I made my sister promise me that the next time she feels uncomfortable to tell me or her boyfriend or someone else right away. I told his friend and word spread and now everyone thinks he's a fucking weirdo. And they stopped talking to him and he blew up my phone. I just texted him that his actions have consequences.
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I told my sister's boyfriend and he threatened my ex saying he better not go near me or my sister or he'd find out. Am I the asshole? No.
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Screaming in someone's face, get the fuck out of my house. It's your house. He was walking around nude. I am absolutely perplexed. What gave him the idea to go swim naked with a 19-year-old sister of your girlfriend that you're living at her house living with? What gives you that idea? Again, it feels like a little pervert hoping, oh, I walked to the pool naked and she saw me and then we fucked.
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I don't know. I had a shit ton of coffee that day. No coffee today, but still crazy. So I'm excited for these ones.
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But like even if that was your routine, you wouldn't do that when you have company or like, oh, you forget companies here. Then you'd apologize. You don't just walk into the kitchen like, hey. Yeah. Stop. Exactly. You'd be like, oh, my God. I'm so... Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. And then it's like, he walked in, said hi. Dick out. Then goes and grabs a towel and walks back through the kitchen. Yeah.
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Still dick out. Yeah. To go shower. So weird. I literally... I don't know why the word pervert is just like coming up a lot today.
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Yeah, it is. It's kind of that same weird energy. Yeah. But I'm just going to give everyone the formal definition because I did. I wanted to make sure I'm using it in the right context. Pervert, a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable. Similar, deviant. Sexual deviant.
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Yeah, he's giving screws loose for sure. Poor girl locked herself in the room because she was probably scared he was going to come in there.
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Do some deep breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In through your nose. Hold at the top. Out slowly through your mouth. Beautiful. Okay.
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Do you remember the flashlight taser that Alex had in college? No. Oh, my God. It looks like just a big ass, like a cop flashlight almost. But the end, like right at the casing around the light is a taser. It's so cool. Really?
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You went so long. I would have to, like, drive over to Lauren's house and, like, knock on her window.
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It's a weird phenomenon. I know. It's so interesting, our memories. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. It was more than just skinny dipping since he walked through the house naked even when he saw your sister. He didn't cover up or apologize. He knew exactly what he was doing. Not the asshole. This wasn't just poor judgment. It was deliberate, creepy, and disrespectful.
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You did the right thing kicking him out. Don't forget, he stopped on his way to his room to greet her. Yeah. Yeah. He definitely planned this.
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So messed up. He's only angry because not only did it not work the way he wanted, but OP rightfully broke up with him and no one else wants to be around him now. Yeah.
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It's also your girlfriend's little sister. Yeah. Have some decorum. Class. There is one comment I can see that OP responds to here. I can't search out anymore because account has been deleted. But someone goes, not the asshole. Doesn't sound like he skinny dips usually. Too much of a coincidence. The first time he felt like skinny dipping, your teenage sister was home and you weren't.
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The pool could be accidental, but the walking around in the house in front of her... Pervert. Yep. That's what they say. OP responds, he barely even uses our pool and I've legit never seen him skinny dipping before. Oh my God. That's so much worse. And he told me he did it before. I just didn't see it and wasn't there. Liar. And I don't believe him. And I told him to get the fuck out. Good.
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This comment, he was obviously trying to live out a porn fantasy scene. Mm-hmm. 100%. Hate him. Hate him. Why do so many people suck? I don't know if it's going to get any better. Moving on to this next one.
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Just curious. That's all. I feel like a lot of us do. Okay, this next one. Trigger warning on this next one, friends. It does contain mentions of a not-so-healthy toxic relationship, kind of abusive. So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next one.
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It is coming from AITAH, 23 hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for telling my best friend her marriage is doomed at her bachelorette party and accidentally getting her wedding canceled? This weekend was a disaster. I, 27 female, have been best friends with Amy, 28 female, for years. She has been with this guy, Jake, for about three years, and honestly, he is a walking red flag.
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He is super controlling, jealous, and always checking her location. Once, he called her nine times while we were just shopping at Target.
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Amy keeps defending him, saying he is just protective because he cares so much, whatever. At her bachelorette party, it was supposed to be a fun girls' night, but Jake kept blowing up her phone, texts, FaceTimes, asking where she was, accusing her of acting single. Oh, God. She kept leaving to call him back, crying and apologizing, while the rest of us just sat there awkwardly.
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After about the fourth time she left the table, I just lost it. When she came back, I said loud enough for the whole table to hear, you are not marrying a husband. You are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous man-child. Amy started crying and ran out of the bar, and half of the girls followed her. Later that night, her mom called me, drunk, thanking me. Love.
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Because apparently, they have all been worried about Jake, but did not know how to stop the wedding. Her mom told Amy if she goes through with the wedding, they will not pay for it. Now, Amy has blocked Jake. Moved out of their apartment and moved back into her parents' house. But she has also blocked me for humiliating her. Oh, please. Come on.
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Half of our friend group is saying I did the right thing. The other half is calling me jealous and toxic. Absolutely not. For blowing up her relationship right before the wedding.
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Also, what OP said, like, wasn't even mean. No, it wasn't. I feel like you can be so much meaner. A jealous man-child? No, I agree. Like, she just said, jealous? Ma'am, this is a controlling, abusive asshole. Yeah. Calling you nine times when you're at 12. Target. Is nuts. But sitting at a table with all of her girlfriends having some drinks. Mm-hmm.
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how is that acting single you're just crazy yeah you're not a healthy minded guy no you got to get some help buddy that's not okay if you are worried about your partner anytime they go out to the store to grocery shop to be with a friend to do this to do that you need to evaluate things and you need to get some help that's not a healthy mindset no not okay not the asshole I, yeah. Top comment.
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No good deed goes unpunished. You did the right thing. She was going to be in for a lifetime of misery, but that doesn't mean she's going to like you for it. I'm sorry. Hopefully she'll come around, but don't doubt yourself here. OP responds, thank you. It honestly helps hearing that. It sucks losing a friend, but deep down I know I would have hated myself more if I stayed quiet. I would too.
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It's gonna be great. Okay, kicking us off. Getting a little lighthearted tea. This one is coming from AITAH, 14 days old. It is titled, Am I the asshole for bringing a much older guy to Easter dinner after my dad left my mom for someone close to my age? Oof. I, 18 female, moved out at 15 when I got into a boarding school abroad.
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I honestly think too, like I've seen a lot of comments on people's like Reddit posts in response to others being like, I had a friend who was with like a really bad person. I, you know, helped her anytime she needed it. I kind of had my last straw and I said, like, I can't support this anymore. Like, you deserve better. You should leave. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
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You can get 15% off all Colgate Optic White products at shop.colgate.com with code 2HOTTAKES. Always use as directed. Today. We are getting into the part two for Justifiable Crash Out. And I don't know if it's because I mentioned crashing out. Like my whole TikTok page since recording with Mikayla has been crash outs. Oh, yeah. They're listening. Crash outs.
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They ended up, like, leaving the husband, but they never reconnected as friends. And maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe she'll come around someday when she gets over that. But you still did the right thing. Like, your conscience can be clear. Yeah.
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Oh, my God. There's another story we had today. The dick imprint guy reminded me of the boyfriend that Phoebe dated who always wore those loose basketball shorts and he'd put his leg up and you'd just see it all.
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I wasn't Gary. I don't know. Phoebe, you know, she had some guys. I don't know. We do have a couple comments from OP before moving along. OP does say, honestly, I wish I would have handled it differently, but it just boiled over. Crashed out. But it worked. It worked. Watching her cry in the bathroom over some jealous texts while we were supposed to be celebrating her was too much.
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I probably should have said something way earlier, but I kept hoping she would see it herself. I know the way I did it sucked, but I don't regret finally saying something. I get that. Yeah. And honestly, a lot of times people will say something and it still doesn't change. Like it does take a lot of internal motivation. And as we know, it can take a lot of different attempts to leave bad partners.
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So it's tough. It's a really rock in a hard place type position to be in. But yeah, just a lot of other comments from OP just being like, I definitely need to apologize for how I said it, even if I still believe it needed to be said. Just hoping she's willing to hear me out eventually. Sucks losing a friend, but deep down I know I would have hated myself more if I stayed quiet. You're right.
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She probably needs space to grieve the future she thought she was going to have. I'm going to give her time and just hope she knows I'm still here when she's ready. Sounds like a good friend. Very good friend. We all want friends like this. Tell us when we're being goofy or maybe just have love blinders on or aren't seeing something super clearly.
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Okay, this next one. It's coming from AITAH, one month old, titled, Am I the asshole for telling my wife we either share our lotto winnings or we separate and I get half anyways? I don't think... What? My wife and I are extremely fortunate to have won a decent amount of money from the lotto recently.
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When I was 12, my dad, 45 male, cheated on my mom, 43 female, with a woman, 26 female, who was 20 at the time. Oh, gosh. They ended up divorcing and he's been with her ever since. She's only a few years older than me and for the past few years, she's been at every family holiday. She's clearly only after his money, but he's too stupid and stubborn to understand.
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It wasn't the top prize, but it was enough to pay off our sizable mortgage and still have some leftover for vacations. The mortgage was by far our biggest weekly cost, and with that gone, we could both comfortably cut back hours at work to only school hours and spend some more time with our kids. This was always a daydream we spoke about when we bought lotto tickets.
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I assumed this is what we would both do. When we got the money and paid off our house, everything almost immediately turned bad. My wife started talking about how amazing it's going to be finally not having to work anymore. I was blindsided by this. Even with the mortgage gone, we would still have to work at least school hours to keep our current standard of living.
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And on my salary alone, things would be tight. I asked if she was serious and she said, of course, it was her ticket and she gets to decide. This is bullshit because we both bought lotto tickets before and when we moved in together, we only bought one because it seemed like two was a waste of money.
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I tried to reason with her, say she could use some of the extra to take some unpaid leave here and there, but she needs to keep her job. When I said, quote, if I'm only working school hours, she absolutely flipped and started accusing me of being a gold digger and ruining this for her. How she deserved it after working so much of her life, etc.
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I asked her for a pause because I was honestly afraid she's never been like this before. Money makes people change. The next few days, we tried to have this conversation again, but she didn't budge an inch. And when she said, quote, well, it doesn't matter now because I'm putting in my notice at work. I lost it and told her I'm not going through with this.
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If she's not going to share the winnings, which is under both of our names, I'll divorce her and get half through the house and therefore half the winnings anyways. This started another screaming match where she continued to call me a gold digger. I'm absolutely exhausted and lost. I feel like my life has been replaced by an imposter.
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I would have preferred not winning if I knew this was going to happen. Am I the asshole?
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No, so I think what they did is she accepted her winnings, right, and put it into their joint account and then used that joint account to then pay off their mortgage. So their house is owned outright free. It's their house. And then whatever money is left is in the joint account, which therefore...
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Depends on the state and prenup and whatever, but like usually it would be considered community property. Community property in the case of a divorce is then just split up. It's different than like if she would have had her own account. Took that lottery winnings money and put it in an account that has solely her name on it. But if it's a joint account, it's marital asset now.
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I honestly... I will say I started this off very like... Your wife won the lottery and you're threatening to divorce her to take half? Yeah. Okay. Weird. But then you get to the end. And for me, I honestly think... You shouldn't have threatened divorce. I never like I'm not in the boat of that. I don't love that as a threat. But I understand where he's trying to come from.
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I think he might at this point, but he's at his wit's end. You guys were a team. You would buy one lottery ticket as a family with the understanding like, hey, it's our ticket. Me and my dad do this all the time where we will buy tickets together. He'll buy one round, I'll buy the next round with the agreement that like, hey, if we win, we split it. That kind of sounds like what they were doing.
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This year for Easter, I flew back home and asked a friend of mine, 38 male, to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend just for a few days at my home. After dinner, my dad pulled me aside and told me he felt uncomfortable with the situation. I told him I didn't do anything wrong and that, after him, love has no age.
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So for them to turn around and be like, my ticket... You're a gold digger.
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You wouldn't put it in a joint account. You'd accept it into your own account. Right. It's not community property.
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I think so. Because here's the thing. If you get divorced and you get 50-50 custody of your kids, it doesn't sound like the husband is making an insane amount of money where he would have to pay for alimony and she could still not work and she could be a stay-at-home mom and live off the alimony and spousal support payments.
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It sounds like if they got divorced, the lottery money would run out fairly quickly. Yeah. And she'd have to work anyways.
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So why don't you act like a sane, rational person you were before the lottery and get back to your partnership where you could then go down to like part time hours. Yeah. And only work when your kids are in school and then have a really, really great life. Invest the extra money you have. Right. Yeah. What is not clicking in her head? Yeah. And then to call your husband a gold digger.
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Ma'am, you didn't have money before this. I know.
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It's just, yeah, that's the way cookie crumbles sometimes. There's a lot of comments from OP. If I tried to read them all, we would be here quite literally all day. A lot of people are asking, like, why don't you just let her stay home and, like, be a stay-at-home mom and take care of that kind of stuff? Like, whatever. How old are the kids again? I don't know if OP mentioned how old the kids are.
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So stay-at-home wife? Yeah. I mean, they're in school. They're school-aged kids. Oh, okay, okay, okay. But OP says the biggest pain point in our marriage is her avoidance of doing housework. A lot of it falls to me and is partly the reason why I would never support her not working. Other than that, we've never had any issues. She's been a great mother. So I'm so shocked about all of this.
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He told me that I ruined everyone's Easter by being selfish and bringing someone his age to dinner. I flew back to school, but now I'm getting messages from a few relatives saying I should apologize to my dad and break up with my boyfriend. I haven't responded. I don't think I'm in the wrong because he's made my life uncomfortable since the moment he cheated on my mom. Am I the asshole?
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So someone goes and says, money changes people, and usually for the bad. It sucks that you are going through this. You are not the asshole. And OP goes, it doesn't feel like she's changed. So much has been replaced. Okay. It fucking sucks. Yeah. Someone goes, nah, dude, this was just below the surface, and it's her true self. There is no changing that sort of selfishness.
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Here's something that's really interesting, though. And maybe we have a lawyer chime in because we did. I'm telling you right now, we had lawyers chime in about noodles, the ferret. I miss noodles. On Group T. And that was an interesting conversation. So maybe there is a comment here about the implications of what Opie says. Someone's asking, like, how the lottery ticket was purchased.
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Was it her own money? Blah, blah, blah, blah. It was purchased off of our joint card. Our finances are completely intertwined. We didn't win enough to invest and live off of dividends, so we will both still need to work. We currently do 40 hours each. Cutting back to school hours would have been 30 each. And we need those 60 hours total to keep our standard of living.
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We both make pretty much close to the same, within 10%.
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Not great. Not great there. 95% of the winnings went on the house. Neither of us can take any money from it without jointly signing another mortgage form. The remaining amount is still in a shared account, but if she took it all, it wouldn't be the biggest deal. There's not that much money left. There's no way. If he's like, it wouldn't be the biggest deal. Like enough for a few vacations. Yeah.
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There's what? Like 10K, which is still a lot of money, but not enough to quit your job. That's what I'm saying. And if you both make the same amount and you were both working 40 hours to live your life, what makes you think? Like, here's the question I would ask her.
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If I were the one to stop at the store that day and get the winning ticket and we went through this, do you think it would be fair to you if I quit my job and expected you to keep working? I would never do that to you. I would never quit my job and let you pay for everything if I pulled that winning ticket. Because what's the difference? She got lucky. Yeah.
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But they're operating completely as a unit. Mm-hmm. You just don't do something like that.
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I would say the more people I talk to have their own separate accounts and one joint account. And I think that makes sense. And then they put a portion of their paycheck into the joint. So it's like all of their shared expenses are covered. But it gets different like when you have kids like my brother and his wife. They just have joint accounts like they don't. They got married.
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They don't have any separate? No. I don't think so. Because they got married at a point where they didn't really have their own lives super established. And they kind of just went into it as like, whatever. They don't have a prenup. They find prenups goofy. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, really? It's just like an interesting, different dynamic. Like I use I'm in a different boat.
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That's really cool. I think that's a really good point, too, because you do have to ask like really big kind of futuristic questions and like it could be uncomfortable. It can get uncomfortable. But if you have a good relationship and a good foundation, it doesn't necessarily have to. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good point. A lot of comments from OP, so I will be sure to link this one.
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But yeah, I'm hoping we get an update. I'm not seeing any... in the comments so far from him but i will keep my eyes peeled i will keep my eyes peeled because i'd like an update on this one i hope she comes around like i would suck to tear your family apart over you winning the lottery which is supposed to be a really happy thing yeah Okay. Moving along. Moving along. Okay.
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I'm giving you a choice on this next one. And again, if you can't decide, we put it to the coin flip. We call it good. So option number one, am I the asshole for stopping my boyfriend's proposal at our best friend's wedding? Or option number two, my ex dumped me in January after nine years together because he didn't think I was wife material.
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Now he reached out wanting to talk because he needs to get something off of his chest. I don't know why he is doing this or if I should meet up with him.
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Okay. Cool. I've got a guest that I have coming up that's also getting married, so I'll save it for a wedding vibe. Perfect. That's great. Okay. That was a really long title, but I will read it again for you guys because we get some numbers.
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So coming from relationship advice, 28 days old, titled my 27 female ex 26 male dumped me in January after nine years together because he didn't think I was wife material. Now he reached out wanting to talk because he needs to get something off his chest. I don't know why he's doing this or if I should meet up with him.
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I was with my ex, who I will call Nate, because if I'm being honest, minus betraying a friend, I was Cassie. I don't want to go into too much details, but for the last nine years, I lost myself to Nate. He was my world. I did everything for him.
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Dad's 45. Seven-year age difference. Okay. OP's 18. Girlfriend's 26. Eight-year age difference. Looks very similar to me. Yeah. It's the same age gap, basically. So, yeah, it's very pot, kettle, both black. I think this is honestly a petty revenge that I like. Yeah. Like, you're not actually dating. You just invited your friend back with you.
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I helped him through depression, helped him get and keep his grades up, even worked two jobs so he could focus on college when his parents disowned him for nearly three years after because they didn't agree with the major or college he chose. Bear in mind, I was also a college student.
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When his parents started talking to him again and started to financially support him, we moved into a new apartment. Nate said he wanted me to quit my job. I didn't, because it was his turn to take care of me. For 16 months, everything was great. He spoiled me, and then I noticed he was more interested in his new friends at times, and he completely ignored me.
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Back in December, he did a 180 and he loved Bomb Me the whole month. He really went out of his way to make Christmas magical for me. I honestly believed he was going to propose on January the 2nd. He made my favorite dinner and made this speech about me being his first love, how I've always been there since high school. I kept thinking, any minute now, he's going to ask me to marry him."
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But no, he dumped me. As his speech went on, my world fell apart. And as much as he tried to sugarcoat it, he basically said, quote, you were a good girlfriend, but that's what you'll always be to me. A girlfriend. I don't see you as my wife or the mother of my children. Blah, blah. You served your purpose. Now I don't need you anymore. Blah, blah. I need someone on my level. blah, blah.
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You're a gold digger. Blah. I'll give you 30 days to move out. Whoa. I couldn't speak. And he stared at me looking for a response. I think this lasted 20 minutes before he said he would sleep in the guest room, then left. Strangely, I didn't cry or get angry. I just ordered cardboard boxes online and then went to bed. What?
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Oh, what is wrong with me today? The next day, I waited for him to leave the apartment before I left my room. Then I called my boss, asked, begged, really, if I could transfer anywhere. She told me there wasn't anything, but if something came up in my department, she'd consider me. I then reached out to everyone I knew that wasn't also Nate's friend for a place to stay.
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My cousin invited me to stay in her spare room for as long as I needed, and I could move in straight away, so that was amazing. In the four days it took me to pack my stuff and move out, I didn't see or speak to Nate. I doubt he even noticed.
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I didn't trust myself at the time to ignore a you up text, so I blocked him and everyone close to him, even changed my number and email to make sure he couldn't reach me. The first night at my cousin's was the night everything hit me. I think I cried every night the first month. I honestly felt like shit. I thought about what Nate said over and over again.
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It made me feel so low, like I was nothing. He only stayed with me because I was just there. But thankfully, my cousin sent for my mom, other cousins, and real friends to give me an intervention, which I badly needed. I believe that first month, I wouldn't have made it without my cousin.
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I'm still healing and waiting on that job transfer because I feel like if I'm not in the same city as Nate and I have a place of my own, the fresh start would do me the world of good. Good. Good. Dear Cassie, happy belated birthday. I've been thinking about you for nonstop for the last few months, especially with how everything ended.
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I needed to get something off my chest that I feel will haunt me for the rest of my life if I don't tell you this to your face. But I have no way of contacting you. If it's possible, we can meet up in the near future. Nate.
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What could he want? What's haunting him? He needs to say it to my face. Everyone in my life is telling me to ignore him, but they hate him. I'm torn, but I can't lie. My curiosity is telling me meet him to see what he wants. Has anyone been in my shoes or in Nate's?
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Interesting age gap for a friend, but I've also, I've kind of been there in high school where, like, I was 18 working at Perkins and I was friends with a 30-year-old.
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It's not always about you, Nate. Yeah. And he's really making it about himself, like in the in the card to to be like, I've been thinking about you nonstop the past few months, especially with how everything ended. Mm hmm. You gave a crazy ass speech.
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I mean, you remember, like I was literally, you kept asking me like, do you want to move to California? And I'm like, well, so-and-so is like moving here to Minnesota. Like, or I might be going up there. Like I thought my relationship was so solid. I thought he was about to propose. His mom was asking me what ring I might want. Like, I was getting all the signs that, like, we were good.
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And next thing I know, getting ghosted for weeks. And then, oh, bye. You don't deserve me. Like, I've been in those shoes. And it is... It is mind blowing because it's nice to have that slow like where I feel it. I feel the fizzle. We're not connecting. We're off because I've had that, too. But when you have that other blind side, it does something to your body.
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It feels like a car crash because you imagine you just like you go from like this happy planning thing.
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yeah planning your whole life with a person everything and it's like i am totally blissfully unaware that there's any issues and it's just like so it you just wake up and you're like well what do i do now like every plan i had involved that other person in this life i thought i was gonna have like you grieve like yeah you actually kind of grieve it's yeah really weird for like a breakup
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It's just, it's hard. Like you just, you lose a lot.
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Yeah, it is. So I totally get where she is wanting to be like, I kind of know... I want to know what he has to say because I do think there's something in that too where getting an apology can be a sense of closure. Yeah. And that does help a lot of people. Like, I sometimes think the best closure is like...
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the revenge of living a good life and just like not responding to any outreach from them, especially if you were the one that was kind of wronged. But I am kind of curious. I'm like, I'm very curious. Me too. Top comment. The girl he was seeing or hoping to cheat with didn't work out and he can't be alone. So he's trying to get back together. You are worth more than this.
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Don't fall for it and keep making plans for your life. Better things await.
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We have an update. Yes. Okay, so original post. It looks like OP actually posted this in a few places. So the first one was relationship advice a month ago and then went on Am I the Asshole, which it doesn't fit there, girl. She's trying to get it out there. Needed help. But did go back to AITAH, which is not the subreddit we read this on, to give an update. Okay.
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Should we get in any comments, though, before I read the update? If you think they're worth it. Let me see. Okay. So the first comment from OP, my cousin thinks he tried to monkey branch and it didn't work out.
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That is new for me, and I'm chronically online. Apparently, it means to go from one relationship to another. I've never heard that before. Monkey branching. I kind of love it.
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Just saying he's blocked on everything. That's why he had to drop off the flowers. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. People are just kind of concerned. Like, hopefully he leaves you alone. Like, I think a lot of people in the comments were sharing their stories and OP was seeing them all.
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And OP goes, I've been talking to a lot of people on here and in real life, kind of freaked out with the stories of how bad things can get. Hopefully he will just leave me alone. And yeah, those are really the only comments we have until the update. So let's get into it. So we ended up meeting, and no, I didn't go to him.
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I had told the receptionist at my work, if he came looking for me, just say I'm out for the day. This was after he showed up once. I didn't want the drama of him around my job. So Nate just kept going to my usual places, like the grocery store I go to every Saturday evening or the park I run at Sunday mornings, his words, until he would eventually run into me. And he did yesterday.
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He was waiting at the coffee shop I go to after my morning run. When I saw him, I tried to do a turnaround and leave, but he kept calling me, so I thought to myself, if everything went pear-shaped, a coffee shop would be safer than my walk home. So I just sat down and asked him what he wanted. He gave an apology that wasn't an apology, you know the type, with I'm sorry but and pity me.
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He blamed his mental health, his job, his parents, his friends, everyone but himself. I took someone's advice on here and said, quote, cut the crap, I already know everything. He genuinely looked shocked and stared at me for a second. I guess he thought his co-worker already told me everything, so he couldn't lie. Here's what really happened. He fell for a girl in his office.
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Yeah, it's something to maybe remark about a little bit. Was dad's crash out justified? No. No, I don't think so. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. And I think you made an excellent statement this way. You could even tell people we tend to copy our parents' behavior. Quote, I learned by watching you. I just see the waitress yelling at Dennis after banging Frank.
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When he told me her name, I knew her immediately. I've met her a few times. He told me for the last two years he has idolized her. To be fair, she's beautiful with an amazing personality. And he hated me because I was the one stopping them from being together because his co-worker was too classy to be a side piece.
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When he broke up with me, he confessed to her that he was madly in love with her and he ended a nine-year relationship to be with her. Well, here's where it gets funny. She doesn't even like him, lol. She called him a piece of trash and told him if he ever spoke to her outside of work, she'd report him to HR. So I asked him, what has any of this got to do with me?
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Like, we are over, I clearly cut ties, and there's no reason for us to speak. He wants to try again. promised we'd get married before the year ends. Ew, shut up. That we belong together. You're out of your goddamn mind. I told him no. I'm nobody's second choice. He threw away nine years and said some pretty cruel things to me. And now he thinks if he snaps his fingers, I'll come running back.
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He tried to beg and fake tears, bringing up the good times in our relationship. He literally said, you're not marriage material. You're not mother material. Yeah. Do you have amnesia? Do you not remember that beautiful speech you gave me? Asshole.
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It's so goofy. I hope he does go on. I told him, please leave me alone, as he wasted too much of my time already. Yeah. I texted my cousin to meet me at the coffee shop. He kept saying nonsense, even suggested if I went to couples counseling for a few months, he'd leave me alone. The 20 minutes it took for my cousin to arrive felt like 20 years.
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In the end, I just stopped listening and stood at the counter making small talk with baristas until my cousin arrived. She told him to fuck off, and if he tried to follow us, she would call her brothers. He stayed in the coffee shop as far as I know, and we just went home. That's it. It's only been a day, but I feel like it's over and I'm free of him. Dude is a loser. For sure. Big loser.
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Anyone that did this, like... You also, you lusted over your coworker for two years and resented your partner of nine, hated her, but you wasted two more years of each other's lives. You knew you had feelings for the coworker. And then to go to the coworker and say, I dumped my girlfriend of nine years for you. You've never been on a date. You look scary. You are scary.
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You've imagined this whole fake ass scenario and you don't even know me. You get work me. Work me is different than home me. Date me. That's so different. And for you to just come on hot and heavy like that? Weirdo. You don't know me. 100%. How did he think that was going to work?
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And how did he think he was going to then tell her OP that and be like, but I love you. Marry me. You only want me back because you couldn't get your dream girl.
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I don't know what that's in reference to. I would message all those people back asking, quote, why is an age gap OK for dad? But with me, it's a problem. Yeah. Next comment down, quote, if I told you guys he's married, would it be OK? Oh, wow. Next comment down. I was talking with stepmom and she was telling me how great it was being with an older guy. You could really fuck with him.
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People need to get off social media. Get back into the movies. There are so many good rom-coms coming out. I'm so, so happy. I feel like rom-coms are coming back.
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Do rom-coms depict realistic relationships? UC Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick analyzes rom-coms in a new podcast.
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Learn where the bar is. Yeah. There is this article that I'm immediately going to read after this. It's from Inc.com. A pair of psychologists mind rom-coms for relationship lessons. Here are their three biggest takeaways. I love that. That's so cool. There's so many studies on this. What rom-coms teach us about relationships, a psychological study. Say less. Say less. I'm hooked. I'm in.
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Learn from your mistake. I think I like went back to go check his age, too, because I'm like. does he feel like this is it and you know the sunken cost fallacy and how old you know is he 40 and like whatever he's 26 yeah this is not your person you're not each other's person you have so much ahead of you like i met justin at 25 26 like you just don't get caught in that
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Oh, because we've been together so long and through high school, this must be my person. Like, if you're not working, you're not working. You clearly weren't working. Yeah. Don't force it.
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And I got this one girl who posted a video and she was like crashing out at work because this middle-aged woman tried to take credit for something I did. So I responded to everyone on the Slack chain and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that it was my work. And it was like really satisfying.
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I really like that energy. I've also seen a big movement around first divorce by 30. I haven't seen that. And I think there is something empowering about that too. And for both people involved, why waste another second of your life not with your person? Go find someone that you don't fight with, that carries an equal load with you, that X, Y, Z, like what you want for your life.
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Fuck with him. Yeah. And I don't know. I feel like if you have a lot of resentment, it might bring some satisfaction. Is it the healthiest? Probably not. But sometimes, sometimes it does feel good to be a little bad. Yeah. It's okay. Edit. Seems like many think this is a lie. LOL. I would too. But I met my friend in book club when I moved to the US. I'm from Europe.
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That loves to travel or loves to do this or whatever. Like they're out there. So if you're not being fulfilled by your partner, like don't lock in. You don't have to. Yeah. Because society says. So I don't know. I'm really excited for OP. I think she's got a solid footing, has amazing support around her and all will be well. Okay. Ending it on this last kooky one. Kooky. Yeah.
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Someone sent this to me on my Instagram. I actually saw a DM for once and we were laughing about it together. So I'm like, I got to get this out there. Okay. This is coming from AITAH2DAYSOLD. It is titled, Am I the asshole for not respecting fancy soap policy in our bathroom and accidentally starting a soap-based arms race?
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So my wife, 30 female, bought this absurdly expensive soap from some little shop. It came in a tiny frosted glass bottle wrapped in twine. Ridiculous branding like, quote, hints of pine, regret, and artisanal disappointment, or something like that. She placed it on the bathroom counter and told me, this is for guests. We don't have guests. Ever. Okay, maybe once every two months.
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I told her that, but apparently the idea of a guest potentially seeing that we use commoner soap is too horrifying for her to bear. So the fancy soap was enshrined like the Mona Lisa, untouched. Fast forward. I run out of my regular cheapo soap, which came in a cracked plastic bottle with a pump that wheezed like a dying guinea pig.
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Grapefruit and cedar. Smells like if a lumberjack went to therapy. I put it proudly on my side of the sink. I declared that this is my new soap and only I have the right to use it. Suddenly, it's the Cold War Soap Edition. That evening, I saw over her shoulder she was searching for more soap bottles on Etsy, like she wanted revenge.
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At this point, I now want to invite some guests over to make sure they use my fancy soap and not hers. Ha ha. Now she's mad I'm mocking her and says I'm turning cleanliness into a competition. I told her she started the soap cast system. I just refused to be born into the lower class. She hasn't spoken to me in two days. Whoa. But I smell amazing. Tell me, am I the asshole? What's going on here?
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I would assume painful. This is goofy. I buy soap from Trader Joe's in the grocery store and I... I don't know. Like, I appreciate the fancy soap. Like, if I go into a bathroom and they have some Le Labo soap, I'm like, this must be nice. Oh, my God. Yeah. So it's like, it smells great, but I'm like, no. There's another one. Oh, my God. There's this other one. It's like Grown Alchemist.
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It is the most amazing soap. And yeah, it's $30 a bottle. It's so good, though. But, like, you know, like, it feels so special when you walk into a bathroom and they have, like, those nice products. You're like, ooh. Ooh.
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And he's been a great father figure to me, to be honest. When I had no friends there, he would buy me dinner and actually spend time with me. And he's recently divorced from his high school sweetheart. So he would have spent Easter alone anyways. Therefore, I decided to take him with and show him around. For reference, I didn't say half of the bad things my dad did or or the whole story.
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I guess, yeah. I mean, there's also, like, Dossier. Like, that's where I get my perfume because it's so much cheaper than buying, like, the nice-ass, like, name brands. It's like a dupe perfume, essentially. I bet that's what they do. But I don't know. I feel like these two, they're honestly made for each other by the sounds of it. Or, like, made to be against each other. Ooh. Yeah.
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lovers to enemies yeah not enemies to lovers yeah yeah something's going on here something's definitely going on here top comment it's always heartwarming to see two psychopaths find each other and fall in love godspeed to both of you next comment down two clean psychopaths Comments, they turn dark, you guys. They turn dark. This one, is this real? I need to look this up.
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Comments are crashing out. The comments are crashing out. Someone goes, it's all fun and games until you murder a colleague over business card envy.
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Yeah. Woman poisons colleague over promotion envy. And they die? That's terrifying. Apparently, attempted murder from Abida de Gojas for allegedly poisoning her co-worker's water bottle after losing a promotion. Surveillance footage captured the act and the victim suffered immediate burns. Oh, my God. The incident highlights the rise in poisoning cases and the dangers of workplace jealousy.
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Where was this? I don't know. Goias? The Goias Civil Police? It's a Brazilian state, so somewhere in Brazil. That's so scary. Dude, just take it. Just tell me you're going to poison me and I'll quit. Wow. Wow.
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I had a great time. I just like, I'm sitting here and I'm like, These stories were so fun. It makes me want to like have a big crash out.
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I remember a couple episodes ago. I was like, I'm not going to be a bridezilla.
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Oh, no, it's nothing. It's nothing in relation to that. I could have had a crash out moment today. So for our wedding invitations, I wanted to order a bunch of like vintage stamps because I really liked the way people's invitations looked when they like put a bunch of vintage stamps on and just it looked really cute. And it's it's cutesy. It's my vibe.
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It would have been too long, but trust me, cheating isn't the only thing he did. All caps. I know this is immature, people. I know it's extremely immature of me, but I wanted to show him how it feels. Thanks a lot for the advice, everyone. I'll update for Christmas, lol. I love you! Oh my gosh, that's so just...
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We have those, but then like vintage stamps. And so I ordered a couple and like one is this crane and it's just like this beautiful line art crane. And one is standing in the background looking that way. And then there's another bending down and like looking at little crane chicks. And I posted it and I like posted all my stamps.
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I was like, oh my God, like this might've turned me into a stamp collector. I love it so much. And I've never gotten more responses to a story in my life. But everyone was like, Morgan, those birds are fucking. And I'm like, what? And it doesn't look like it when you actually have the stamp in front of you.
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But if you look on just like my Instagram story, it does kind of look like one bird is fucking the other. And I had put these stamps on a bunch of invitations already. So now... Who cares? I don't. I was fully... I was dying. I woke up at 8.30 this morning. That was the first thing I saw. And I was dying laughing.
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But that could have been such a crash out moment to be like, we got to burn these stamps.
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We got to take them off. But I think it's so funny. Yeah. I'm so curious if any of my guests say anything about... Because I'm like, they're either going to think I'm one, a kinky weirdo that put a bird fucker stamp on their card.
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I'll show you. It doesn't look like it in person. Okay. But yeah, it'll be really interesting to see if they get any. But no, mine, I'm like, I'm not stressed at all about the wedding. And I'm like, five months still have a lot to do. But I'm in the boat of like, It's going to work out. It's going to be really fun. Like the big stuff is booked now. So whatever.
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I could get married under the Costco awning and have a piece of pizza after to celebrate. And I'd be happy because I get to marry Justin.
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It's not what we're doing. But if all goes to shit, that's where you'll find me.
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Hermantown, Minnesota, Costco, September 27th. We should invite everyone right there. Honestly, I'm fully debating having an invite list for people to come to the reception and just dance because I'm like, I'm paying for a band. Let's go. I can't pay for everyone to have food, but like, come on and dance.
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Also, this is the one thing I'm probably being goofy over. As I'm doing the guest list, I'm like, oh, my God, I have so many hot single girls. I how do I find like single guys that are attractive to come? Like, I want to be a matchmaker. I've always wanted to be a matchmaker.
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So I'm like, is it weird to let people apply to come to your wedding? That sounds so fun. You should do that. OK, if you're a hot single guy. I think I'm opening myself up for candy worms. I don't know. We'll reevaluate that one. Yeah. The one thing I've kind of crashed out on is like people just not showing up. Like you talk to family members and you're like, yeah, it's this day.
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And they're like, oh, well, I'll have to see where I'm at. And I'm like, You're my family and you're, what do you mean see where you're at? It's my wedding. I'm just like, that is really frustrating where it's like, I've shown up for you and you're not going to show up for me on something that's like special to me. I'm like, yeah, that's weird. That's the only thing I've crashed out about.
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So not total bride sale. I think that's justified. Is it people that live in Minnesota?
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But even like, there's like a couple that live out of state, but are like very like well off. And I'm like, what?
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what for like the wedding day yeah okay i'm just like that's weird that's odd i don't know but again i might not notice them but like i don't know i just it still kind of like rubbed me the wrong way where i'm like okay and it's turned me into a little bit of a tit for tat i'm like well fine i won't go to your wedding fine I don't care. Then don't. You won't see me at your shit. Then don't.
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satisfying for me it's funny it is funny it's so funny when you're not involved okay moving on to story number two trigger warning on this one friends it does contain talks of a physical altercation and i feel like it could be triggering for those that have dealt with any physical attacks or abuse so proceed with caution on this one markers are in the description
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I won't. Yeah. But it's still, you're like, what?
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But yeah, that's how I feel. But I thought my wedding would be like the one exception where people like really show up and show out. And so when I'm getting met with that response that I I have kind of like I've depended on people or expected things and like not even big expectations like, hey, just come on over and celebrate my birthday. Yeah. And then they disappoint.
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I'm like, oh, but this is a wedding. Like, this is like, it's like weddings and funerals. That's the only time you really get celebrated. Just come on. So I'm in that same boat. I totally get that. But I will plan your wedding. You won't have to stress about a damn thing. It will be so good. I actually like I could be a planner in my in my next life.
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Well, by like I can take a couple of weeks off and I wouldn't be planning my own wedding and all the other shit at the same time. I'd plan yours. I got it.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I'll quit everything. I'll quit. I'll quit this podcast. Yeah. I'll quit. You're on fire today. Don't tempt me. That will be my crash out.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Crash out. One day I'll just crash out and quit everything.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
That was something. Oh, my God. Someone was like... I posted about Clues, the new podcast, and someone was like, Morgan, you're always tired. Same. I'm like, are we not?
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Doesn't mean I can't do another show. Yeah. I'm like, I still, I don't know. I'll nap when I'm dead.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Can YOLO make a comeback? Is YOLO... I don't like it. I do. Why? YOLO.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Yeah, dude. I just saw a TikTok where it was like, popping bottles in the ice, getting slizzy, fly like a G6, whatever. And people were like, oh my God, recession pop is making a comeback. And I'm like, yeah, it is. Riding solo. All we do is win, win, win, no matter what.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
This is 16 Days Old Now, coming from AITAH. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Apologize for Slapping My Boyfriend When He Smashed Our Birthday Cake in My Face? Oh. My female 34, boyfriend, Charles, male 38, and I celebrate our birthdays together. This year, I contributed a small private room at a restaurant, and we invited 11 people. Four of them are my local friends.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
And I don't really like filler words. Like I hate, I hate a misplaced yeah in a song. Just don't say anything. Let the music speak. I think filler words are my middle name. No, I don't need you to be belting beautiful lyrics and then all of a sudden you have an empty void and you go, yeah. Unless you're Hannah Montana, shut the fuck up.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Love it. Anyone else in an artfully, craftfully, beautifully written song? Keep the yas to yourself.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
First the poop, Lauren. God, I just watched the wedding episode. Lily's like cracking the glasses.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I love it. Well, guys, I have to pee. And this kind of felt like a little deep dive, weird catch up at the end. But thank you so, so, so much for being here. Head over to Patreon. Lauren and I will be having an episode this month. A lot of other good stuff. Some free stories. There's a couple free like mini bonus episodes now. So head over there. But thank you guys so much for being here.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Another episode. Anything else, Loen? I don't think so. No, I'm going to pee my pants. But love you guys. Until next time. Love you. Bye. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
The rest are his family members. I wanted to celebrate a new achievement in my career and thought it would be great to just splurge a little and get some delicious food. So we had access to the menu, drinks, and our cake. I'd agreed to pay for half of the food, aside from having rented the small space by myself. The space was paid for in advance, the food at the end, as in any restaurant.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
We had issues last year because I felt he was doing low effort things while I always did my best to give him a nice birthday celebration. We have an income gap, but it wasn't even about money. I was making less money last year, and I still made things work for him. So this year, he took care of inviting people, paid for the cake, and got me a spice rack as a present, which I loved.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I made myself pretty, got my eyebrows and eyelashes done, and had my hair done too. We were told to pose and pretend to blow out the candles because I didn't want to blow germs all over our cake. Then we each had a picture alone with the cake. When it was my turn, I was holding the cake when he pushed my face towards the cake, so I tried to fight it.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
And it got even funnier because then Microsoft commented on her video and was like, yeah, assert your dominance, queen. And then she like made a video to that comment. She goes, remember when you fired me two years ago? Like she had previously worked for Microsoft. And then people were like being like, oh, my God, I can't believe you made this video. That's so funny. And she said something.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
His family started cheering, and he arched over my body and forced me to bend over until my face smashed the cake. Again? Again? His mother got up and she got into an argument with one of my guests. I had to cross the main floor with cake all over my face to use the restroom. When I looked in the mirror, I had cake on my neck and my blouse had red and blue coloring that didn't come off.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I had to wash my face and got my hair in a bun because it looked way less messy that way. When I came back, his family were all long faces. I told him what he did was unacceptable, and he said it was just a joke, that everyone has done that for ages, and that me slapping him just ruined my image in front of his family. I started crying and gathered all of my stuff to leave.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I notified him that he should pay for himself and his guests. My friends insisted on paying for their own food, but I refused and we ended the night right there. My friends wanted to treat me to having dinner elsewhere, but I wasn't comfortable with my appearance. They ended up sending me the money that I spent and that broke my heart.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
Charles had to pay for half of the remaining bill and got charged a cleaning fee. I still love him, but I'm clear that I'll never be able to forgive him. We talked about it, and I ended things. He's convinced that I never loved him. He acknowledged what he did was wrong, but is adamant that his family hates me for slapping him and that it's my fault.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
I told him that he ruined not only our birthday, but also my way to celebrate my career milestone. I've worked very hard to get where I am and that his behavior showed me what my future would look like.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
And that I'm sorry to say it, but he was so aggressive and so focused on making his family laugh at my expense that I just realized he's not good enough and that I've lost my confidence to be seen with him in public because I don't know what else he will pull out of his ass. Literally. He says he paid for that cake.
Two Hot Takes
216: Justifiable Crash Out?! PART 2!
That he's not saying that it was okay to smash it, but it's not like I paid for everything. He wanted me to apologize to his mom. No. But I refused. Good. Important. I'm not proud of my reaction. We've never had any physical altercations. He says his mother feels humiliated because of what I did and that she has been struggling with mild depression for years. I didn't know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Goofy. And you know what I just found? I went to go look at the post to see if there's any other comments from Opie.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Is it post-wedding? I don't know. Okay. I don't know if it's post-wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's an update. Let's get into it. So I met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two hours about everything. I laid it out that I thought he was, at best, a shitty friend. I went through our long history of various things over the years that has me questioning our friendship. And they grew up in this house! Holy smokes. That was the bulk of our conversation.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We then turned to the breakup with Leslie and the shit show of the last six months. Throughout the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness, I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has shown up to my house in the middle of the night. I did not go for a restraining order. When I go out, I do not go to places that I know her and her family like to go.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She has implied to her family and mutual friends at various times that I cheated and or that I took advantage of her financially, neither of which is true at all. I've held my tongue to not embarrass her about these things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows all of that and yet is demanding once again that I put Leslie's feelings before my own.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no, no. I know you're going to be so, you're going to be good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I said, quote, you and everyone need to stop coddling her like she is a fucking child. Dave concedes that Leslie has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup, but he says, quote, she feels she did not get closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening where she can talk to you to get that closure.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What closure? You broke up. You lied to me about your extensive debt for four years. What are we going to do?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Not at a wedding. Dave's like, well, I'm already paying for security, so you guys might as well have closure there. He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant about paying off her debt and paid off almost $10,000 of the credit card debt. She wants to talk to me about her progress.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
To see if that might cause me to change my mind. It will not. I asked him, quote, so do you expect me to go to the wedding and talk to her? Because I have her blocked everywhere. And date or not, I do not plan to say a single mumbling word to her. He said, quote, I fully expect she would lose it if y'all do not talk at the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told him if that is the case, then for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie come. Boom. That's it. And OP needed to hear that. Yep. I love this. Dave lost it at this point. Did he now? Yeah. He said, quote, fuck you and your shit. I don't need it. So I said, then the wedding is off. He left. So that is the state of things.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's terrifying. My God. I watched the episode with you, Shane and Courtney, and you had the pasta PowerPoint and you were just like, it was the guy who made like a how to cook PowerPoint presentation for his girlfriend.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Holy. He just threw away a lifelong friendship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wow. I mean, you blew it. And honestly, someone that's looking at venues and putting up a tent at my family's farm and like this was such a gift. Like this was truly a gift. He saved you at minimum $10,000 by offering up his home. And now you have to find a location last minute. That sucks so bad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The whole thing. And all you had to say is like, Leslie, our wedding is not the time or place. Like if you want closure, get it after. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Did he think, like, pulling at that heartstring would work? Like, did he find that was, like, did he think that was his best tactic?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, she's paid off 10K. Like, maybe you should actually hear her out. No.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. A lot of people were speculating like, hey, maybe Dave is sleeping with Leslie and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like people went off the rails. And OP does have a comment here. Can all but guarantee you that Dave is simply doing what Kim wants him to do. Yeah. Doubt he is sleeping with her. I have no reason to suspect that based on his behavior and her behavior.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have no idea why he would want me to get back with her if that was what is going on. Mm hmm.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
yeah insane that would be a weird movie if um dave was sleeping i know and op does want to make this clear too because a lot of people are like well everyone has debt like just because she has debt doesn't mean you shouldn't be with her and op says the debt isn't the issue for me it is that she lied about it the line is the issue the debt is what she just lied about yeah So, whew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think at this point, I feel like OP's being pretty fair.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
God, I love when they're fresh out of the oven. I'm scared. It is coming from AITAH titled, Am I the asshole for banning my husband from all doctor appointments after he repeatedly messes with me while I'm pregnant? So the dad's not allowed to go to the pregnancy appointments. What is he doing? Bringing you a whoopee cushion? What's happening? So I'm currently pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
About six months along, and my husband has been doing this thing every time we go to a doctor appointment. He'll drive me to the appointment. Then, when I'm about to get in the car, he drives forward a little, then reverses, then drives forward again. He does this a few times, and it always frustrates me. He thinks it's hilarious and says he's just messing with me.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I started to get really frustrated. I told him it bothers me, but he just brushed it off and said I'm overreacting and that he's just having fun. We had a big fight about it the other day. I tried to explain how it's making me feel and he got defensive, saying I need to lighten up and that it's just a joke.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told him it wasn't funny anymore and it wasn't something I wanted to deal with during my pregnancy. The final straw was when he did it again before a doctor appointment yesterday and I was just done. I ended up calling my mom to take me instead and told my husband he was banned from all future appointments. Well, now he's furious.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I have to be careful because there are ignorant people all over. All over. But sometimes I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, not gender specific.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's demanding to be there for the next appointment because it's the one where we'll find out the baby's gender. He says this is a huge moment. And I'm being unfair by not letting him come. I told him I need him to respect my boundaries. And this is one of the ways I'm doing that. But he keeps insisting it's just a silly little thing.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And now he's calling me unreasonable for making a big deal about it. Am I the asshole? Wow. Unfair. You're being unfair by not letting him come.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Okay, finally. Someone is meeting me on my level. We're not leaving until seven.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's like she's like, she'll open the door. And then he'll drive? And then he'll drive. So it's like she's opening the door and like trying to get in the car and he like lets his foot off the gas to like roll away. I'm like kind of scared because I'm like, okay. And then he backs up and it's like, what have you accidentally plowed her over with the door being open? And she got ran over by the car.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Like this is so dangerous. And she's six months pregnant. Like she's not. She's not little.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, this is so risky and rude. Maybe she's got edema on her ankles and she just wants to get in and relax and go to her appointment safely without added stress. And it's the fact that, okay, maybe one time is funny, but hey, I don't like this. Don't do it again. No, you're going to still do it. And he keeps doing it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She's not laughing. No, it's almost like someone it's just like it's teasing. It's belittling, degrading. Like, I don't know if you've ever had someone do this to you. It's like you ask for a dollar and then they're like, oh, yeah, here. Oh, no, here, I mean at this time.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And it's like at a certain point, you just stop even wanting the dollar because you just feel so bad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have not read that one. And now I'm instantly like, why do I feel hot inside?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. Honestly, she should get him back that way somehow.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I'm like, it's also like, I think you kind of, we kind of have to change the name. Like it is like, okay, it's a sex reveal because you know, but I just think it's like, it's so frustrating to me when you watch a couple that they want, you can tell what they want.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And they don't get disappointed. And then they just like pout. And it's like, why did you do this publicly?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, no, I just saw one probably a couple weeks ago now, but it's replaying in my head like it's fresh. This couple was doing it and they had like three little girls. They had like three daughters already. And you can tell he wanted a boy and they got another girl and he's just pissed, stomping off. And it's like, Your three daughters are there with you. Oh, that's sad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. Well, today... I don't know if it's going to be any better. It's okay. I don't know if it's going to be any better. You went viral recently and it was like the most, oh, it's just like, it's everything. Like I've never resonated with someone more. You're like, that's not fair. It's okay. I'm an adult. I died. Oh my God. Thank you so much.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No. So, I don't know. I'm kind of for this. Yeah. I feel like he's got to earn back his ability to go. Like, hey, I haven't cut you off from being in the birthing room yet, buddy, so... You're on thin ice.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. That's a bare minimum. But can't you, can you hear the devil's advocates coming in and being like, but this is too far, like blocking him from experiencing this. This is his child too. Like, can you hear the devil's advocates?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think so. I'm so curious to see what the comments think on this one. Yeah. Top comment, though. Not the asshole. And honest question. Has he always been this much of an immature, disrespectful jerk? Woo. Because it's only going to get worse once your baby arrives. Good luck. Oh. Ooh.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. And maybe they just said, like, good luck. Like, maybe it was nicer than I read it. But the way you did it was like, good luck, good luck. That's how I'm envisioning it. Good luck. Next comment down. Yes, especially when he starts having to share you with somebody else, the baby, and isn't getting all your attention anymore. Which is probably what this is actually about.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh. I think you're spot on with that. Because this is how he gets some attention back. This is how he gets a little control back.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He should. There's another comment here. So many with gold boxes. People really were lighting them up. Not the asshole. He doesn't respect your very reasonable boundary. His emotional intelligence needs some work. Also, jokes involving a vehicle and a pregnancy are not funny. That's just scary. That's what I was saying. Jokes involving a motor?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's been so many people that have accidentally gotten ran over by their cars lately.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't think my partner's going to let me use a can opener when I'm pregnant. If I ever go down that road. Like, there's no way. No.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You need to adjust your mic? Okay, I'll come in.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Let me know I'll be there. Yeah. Like, what... I literally I'm so proud of her because if this would have been me, I would have I would have kicked the car. I would put a dent in it. I would have like this. Oh, my God. This is such a bad thing to admit. So when I was a kid, you kick a car. It was really bad. So my dad had this like old Toyota something.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It was like a really cute little two door car in gold. And I was having a meltdown. I think it was like seven, eight. And he was going somewhere. And I don't think I think I didn't want him to go. So I tried to get in the car so he couldn't go because I think he was going back to California from Minnesota. So I was like, oh. I was trying to throw a fit.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So when I was teeing up a theme for you, I was like, of course we have to like talk about like, is that fair? Is that not fair? I love you. Yes. So we're going to get into all these crazy stories. There's some wedding ones, partnerships, relationships, everything. It's nothing's off limits.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And so I sat in the front seat of the car and I put my feet on the door and like kicked it out super hard to the point I actually bent the door upon itself like in the frame. And he needed to like get a whole new door. It like wouldn't shut right anymore.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
you like mess with the like frame of the car yeah yeah no like okay strong little girl I was like a little hulk I don't know adrenaline took over it's really sweet though because you didn't want dad to go I didn't want him to go or like something like that and I'm just like so proud of her because like if this were me I would have put dents in that car like or I would have done the opposite and been like oh he's he's not getting enough attention and like suppressed my needs to like help my partner because he's mad
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh my gosh. Curious if there's any comments from OP. I mean, it's 13 days old. We should have a few, yeah?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. OP does respond to that one about saying it's not even funny. You're right. It's not even funny. And I don't know why he kept doing it as if we've never talked about it before. But he said that my decision was way out of line and claimed I'm trying to rob him from being a father.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And even said that he's worried what I might do when the birth of our baby comes. And now his mom is trying to talk some sense into me. But I already told her to talk to her son, not me. Whoa. He's involving his mom?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Don't. Do not tell me with a good time. The people are hearing that and they're like, oh my God, is this going to be another three hour long episode? No, because it was terrible to edit. So no, that probably won't ever happen again. But I love you guys. And I know you're going to love today's guest. Hi, I'm Morgan. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Thing is, he does this in other occasions. He's always been the jokester of the family. Usually, I don't get so upset about his pranks, but this is just frustrating. Also, I forgot that his mom told me that I'm being hormonal and that I'm taking it out on her son because she thought my decision was over the top. But I don't know. That's why I'm asking here. I hate this comment though.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
People are like, why don't you just drive yourself? Oh, okay. And Opie goes, I can't drive from pre-existing medical issues and my mom has agreed to help.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Which her husband obviously knows that she can't drive. So again, for him to be so despicable, like she's relying on him. That's her only way to get to the doctor. You should like, it's so nice. She has her mom and her mom will support her and help her. But like, She shouldn't have to do that when she has a partner.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And they're all going to have we're going to have to decide, like, is that fair or are they being a little cuckoo?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Instantly. I think we should be able to put adults in timeout. And I think if you call a pregnant woman hormonal and try to like you're overreacting your your hormones. It's OK. It's OK. Instant timeout. Like, I don't know where we need to put people, but like they need to go in a closet.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
OK, let's dive in. OK. Okay, getting into it. This is coming from AITAH, 28 days old. Fresh. It's titled, Am I the asshole for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding because they do not want me to bring a plus one?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I, during shark week, I've realized like I go, I go crazy. I'm like, well, one, I'm a hypochondriac, but then I'm like, okay, it's like PMDD starting to fit. Like, I don't know. I literally, I almost bit my fiance's head off the other day because he didn't drop my package off at FedEx. And I'm, and I'm thinking about it now. And I'm like, he ran out of time.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But in the moment I was like, the world is ending. Like, I can't trust you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, what the fuck, Morgan? Like, that was crazy.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It would make it worse. But I know, I know. I was like, I was on one because I went from like being mad about that. And then I got on a plane and I put on. Have you seen the new Mufasa movie? I have not. Cried my eyes out the whole flight. Cried my eyes out. Whole flight, just crying. I've got a picture. I don't know what it is about planes. Planes, like, really make me cry.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
AI overview here coming from Google. People cry on planes for a combination of psychological and physiological. physiological reasons emotional factors travel can be stressful and emotional physical effects of altitude the lower air pressure in the cabin can cause mild hypoxia which can lead to mood imbalances and feeling more emotional okay so i'm having hypoxia hypoxia
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm literally, I'm crying, and it was like a happy song. It's like, I always wanted a brother, and I'm bawling. I'm like, what the fuck? These CGI lions, it's so beautiful. What is wrong with me? Nothing. It's just the hypoxia or whatever. Hypoxia. I actually have a picture of like recent flights and movies just to keep track of which ones I've cried on. Mufasa is the most recent.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That is quite emotional. Goodrich. Goodrich. The new one with Michael Keaton and Mila Kunis. Ooh. Cried. Juror number two. No. Directed by Clint Eastwood. It's got Nicholas Holt. Tony Collette. Cried.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran McCulkin. Cried. Yeah, I've got quite the list here. Wait, you're on lots of planes. I've unfortunately had too many flights.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, I should watch that one, too, because I'll probably cry. But I just like there's something about it. So I don't know. Emotions get the best of us.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I think she's being quite reasonable in this, actually.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Fed. It's not funny. Up. No official update on this one yet. That's the last comment we got from OP 13 days ago. I'm hoping for an update.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm hoping he starts making amends and groveling a little more.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Ridiculous. Up next, this one has a lot of gray area. I think we're going to really put your fairness to the test.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Scary. Ah. Ah. Everyone in the comments already, you're wrong. So this one is titled, would I be the asshole if I keep my ex's life insurance payout instead of giving it to his pregnant girlfriend?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
My ex and I were together for seven years, and we got engaged two years ago. Around that time, we both took out life insurance policies, listing each other as beneficiaries. It made sense at the time because we were planning a future together. Then, six months before the wedding, he cheated on me. I was devastated, but I forgave him because I didn't want to throw away seven years of my life.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I thought we could move past it. But two months before the wedding, he blindsided me. He left me for the same woman he had cheated with. I was completely heartbroken. I begged him to reconsider, but he told me he had moved on and that I should too. It took me a long time to heal, but I eventually accepted that he had made his choice. Over time, I worked on rebuilding my life. That was a year ago.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I updated my own life insurance policy, assuming he would do the same. Then last week, I got the unexpected news that he had passed away suddenly. Oh my God. It was shocking, but what surprised me even more was getting a call from his sister. Apparently, he never changed his beneficiary, which means I'm set to receive a $100,000 payout.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now his girlfriend, the woman he left me for, has reached out, asking me to give her the money. She's pregnant with his child and currently unemployed. She says the money should go to her and the baby because I am just his ex.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I understand that this is a difficult situation and I have sympathy for her child. But at the end of the day, this was his responsibility. He had an entire year to update his policy and he didn't. I wasn't expecting this money, but legally it is mine. I didn't take anything from anyone. It was his choice to leave things as they were.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't think I should be obligated to give it up, especially considering how he treated me. This isn't about revenge or pettiness. It's simply about the fact that I was the named beneficiary, and I see no reason why I should be the one to fix a mistake that he made. That being said, I don't want to be heartless.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm considering setting aside a small amount for the baby because none of this is the child's fault. But at the same time, I don't think I should feel guilty for keeping what was legally left to me. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And, like, I don't know. I don't know why. It is only a day old, okay? But OP has deleted this post. I have not read any of the comments. I don't know where they fall. But to like delete your post after a day. Do you think it's because the comments got crazy? I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Very. So, you know, she's getting bombarded.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, he was the one still paying the policy. I just wonder, and, like, maybe this is wishful thinking, I'm wondering if he left it and it wasn't, like, an oversight. It was genuinely, like, I feel so bad for what I did. Like, this is what she deserves if anything happens to me. Not expecting, like... Okay, that...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Here's the situation. Last summer, I bought my grandparents' house. This house was the hangout spot for my friends and I throughout our childhood. This includes my friend Dave. The house has a sizable amount of land, which includes a lake and a gazebo. I was supposed to buy the house with my now ex-girlfriend, Leslie.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's where I'm like, but that is like, that's probably fairytale, like cuckoo Morgan wishful thinking.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I'm like, I don't know. And then, you know, he could just be like, it was out of sight, out of mind. Like that I could see myself like not updating it because it's like, I don't know, like Last, like, last thing?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. And okay. Well, and here's where I go on that. Like, I'm like, when people do life insurance, typically it's like, it's to pay for anything.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
For their funeral, ensure their family, offspring, whatever is taken care of. If the baby's his, right? Like, cause that. Whatever. You could, like, specify, like, you do a DNA test. Let's make sure the baby's his. And then I'm going to put some aside for the child. I think that would be the bare minimum she has to do, to be honest.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have a little binder. It came in like a big ass binder. Like my lawyer meant business. Whoa.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But it was really... It was, like, it was a really hard thing to do. And I'm not married yet. We're engaged. And we are going to do a prenup and stuff. But, like, if something happened to me today, I would want to make sure he has something. And if I wouldn't have made my will... It wouldn't have gone to him. It would have immediately just gone to my parents.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
As my next of kin, he would have gotten nothing. So I made sure, like, if we are together at my time of death, he's taken care of. Wow. But, like... This guy didn't do anything. And, like, don't you think, like, you have a baby on the way? Like, I guess, like, I get where she's coming from, where it's like, it shouldn't be my problem to fix a mistake he made.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But going through the process of getting approved to buy, I found out that she had massive amounts of credit card debt and personal debt that she hid from me throughout our four years together. I decided to break up as a result. That was about six months ago. I met Leslie because Dave's long-term girlfriend, Kim, is Leslie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set to get married in April.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Does that make sense? Like, it was an oversight? Yeah. I know. I wish we had, like, more comments from OP because, like, I think context for me would really matter too because like she says like, oh, he blindsided me two months before the wedding. Okay, two months before the wedding, you're probably losing all your deposits. I'm like, did you lose all that money? How did that split happen?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Too long. Okay, copy. Well, aim for like an hour and 40. Perfect. Hopefully not. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think for me, I know she said it, this isn't about pettiness. This isn't about revenge. And I understand where it's just such a mistake, but you get $100,000. Walking away from $100,000, that is life-changing money. So I get it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I get just in a way you could almost, even if you are wrong, convince yourself that it's right and justified because it is such a huge amount of money and life-changing.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Completely agree. And I think that's what she's kind of rationalizing here. And maybe she was eaten up in the comments and that's why she deleted it. Let's see. Top comment. Quote, you are just the homewrecker. Like basically implying that's what OP should have said to the girlfriend. And someone goes, this is what OP should counter with.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If OP is just the ex and a fair partner is so important to him, why did he not change it?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I want contacts. An OP deleted account, deleted the post. The account's gone. Account, everything. Everything. So I'm like, where are you?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think so. I'm going to try to find, see if like anyone actually gave a vote here. Because most people are just like, most people are, I'm going to be honest, they're maybe being a little insensitive. They're like, take your money, hon. Well, someone goes, technically, she's also an ex-girlfriend now.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, I don't know about that. I'm like, he died. Someone responds to it and goes, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm like, yeah, I felt uncomfortable reading it. Is she seriously pregnant, like you know for a fact, or is she just saying it? Also, it is legally yours. I don't know if there's repercussions to giving it away. I'm sure it's considered a gift and she'd owe a hefty chunk to the IRS.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Like, how would you transfer it without them finding out? I'd keep it, and if the kid is real, fork over maybe $10-20k.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know someone goes keep it, but be prepared for the baby mom to try to sue you for it. It's a fight. It's a fight you can afford. Yeah. Like might not be fun, but yeah, I don't know. I would personally. What would you do? It's so hard to imagine yourself in their shoes, but... Is it weird that I would, like... Would you go off-grid?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When I was buying the house, they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo, which I agreed to do. In December, I started dating again. Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks we are going to get back together and has tried multiple times to make that happen. I've told her in no uncertain terms that isn't happening.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think I would be okay with some of the money going towards that, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I would absolutely need a DNA test because he could have died and she could have been like, oh, my God, he has money. Now I'll get nothing. So she could have gone out and purposefully tried to get pregnant and then just say it's his. You know, also depends on math when the baby comes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Okay, Phoebe Buffay. Take it easy over there. I don't know. People got to eat.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Fuck. Like, did he have any causes he loved? I don't know. That's a tough one. You guys, we might have to put this to a poll. Yes. We might have to put this one to a poll. Go to Spotify for the poll because they said, I don't know. I still don't know where I fall. I'm like, maybe they split it three ways. I don't know. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think she should definitely ask if they need help covering the funeral.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. I don't know. We're not going to tie us down to one thing. We're going to see what the people think.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Do the poll, everyone. I'm scared. Do the poll.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's crazy. It hurts my brain. Yeah. A lot.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. I like run out of things to say. This next one, I will not run out of things to say.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Seven days old, coming from AITH, titled, My husband needs to touch my breasts to fall asleep. I'm exhausted and need a divorce. Am I the asshole? Oh, my God. Throw away because my main has some personal info and pretty much what the title says. My 26 female husband, 30 male, and I've been together for five years and he needs my breasts, boob, whatever to fall asleep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Every single day he goes to bed at around 1030, 11 something and calls me over when I'm not even feeling sleepy just so he can touch my boobs for his own sleep. From the very beginning of our relationship, he's had this habit. At first, I thought it was cute and kind of endearing sometimes, and I didn't mind it. But ever since we're married, it's become suffocating.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It gets worse with how no matter what position I try to sleep in, he always reaches for me. If I turn away, he'll spoon me and still find a way. If I push his hand away or say I'm not in the mood to be touched, he either whines like I'm depriving him of something essential or gets genuinely upset. Sorry, I'm gagged over here.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Dave and Kim have asked me to not bring a plus one to the wedding for Leslie's sake. Ugh. I have told them that this request is ridiculous. This wedding is happening at my house using my land and I'm not allowed to bring a date because of a crazy ex. If that is the case, then they need to find a new venue for the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He claims it helps him relax and fall asleep, but I feel like I'm just an emotional support object at this point. I've tried compromising and suggesting that he hold my hand, cuddle a pillow, or even just rest his hand on my stomach instead. Nope, it has to be my breasts, or he just can't sleep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And if I try to set boundaries, he makes me feel guilty, saying things like, so now you don't love me anymore? Or this is a normal thing between partners. This has been wearing on me for years, but lately I just dread going to bed. I feel like my body isn't even mine in my own home. The main reason this makes me so mad is because this is the only form of affection I get from him.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Forget cuddles or random kisses. He doesn't even give me a hug. A hug.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The last time I got one was on my birthday, and that was a year ago. He only needs my boobs. I finally snapped last week after a long day when he reached for me again, and I told him I can't live like this anymore. He got angry and accused me of being dramatic and said I was threatening our marriage over something so small. But to me, it's not small. It's a constant daily violation of my comfort.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What makes this even worse for me is the fact that my husband does nothing to help me at home. He goes to work at 8 and I go at 5. He comes back by 5 p.m. and I come back by 7. From 7 p.m. to 12, I have to make up for all the chores at home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., while he plays some games in his room. On weekends, he doesn't even help me. He refuses to do anything.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So naturally, I have to make up for being the bigger person." And when it's time for him to fall asleep, he calls me over just to touch my breasts while I have to wait it out until he sleeps so then I can go back to housework. He doesn't lift a finger. I know this sounds stupid and ridiculous. I probably sound like a whiny child venting, but I can't anymore.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I called my sister, who I'm closest to, and told her everything. She said that I'm weird for divorcing over something like this. I called my best friend of a decade and she said that she understands me, but divorce is just overblown. I'm going crazy. I don't even know if I'm being so ridiculous at this point. I don't even know how to bring this up to my mom, mother-in-law, or anyone else at all.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I feel like an asshole for considering divorce over something like this. Am I the asshole? Will people even take me seriously? Dude. I want to get her a taser. Me too. Okay. Get away. Stop touching me. Stop.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If you haven't gotten a hug in a year, like, I would, I would combust.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, I totally, and I totally get where it's like, it's not even, like, intimacy anymore. It's literally you just feel like a squeaky stress toy. Because it's like, if you're not getting a hug, if you're not getting kisses, if you're not getting any other...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
form of physical affection which is people's love language it's like that is so important like our bodies like literally our nervous systems and our brains and like chemicals like we need that a lot of us need that like i need to be crushed like an elephant sometimes like see that's so funny i physical touch is not one of my love languages see i like i need like if i don't get a hug i just like yeah my best friends like that and i've dated people where they're like
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They are pissed about this given the short time frame of when the wedding is supposed to happen. So we are at an impasse. Am I the asshole? Oh,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I heard this a while ago, but if like there's a guy or someone that has like an oral fixation with boobs, it's like they weren't breastfed long enough. Maybe that could be him. Maybe he wasn't breastfed long enough.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, get your hands under there. Oh my gosh. It's so nice. I know. I could, I could actually tuck stuff away under mine. It could be a hiding spot too. Oh, a hundred percent. You know, like, Oh, I put my debit card way under there. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
fun like i get it but like again you gotta give a little more and i think it's not it's really not about the boobs that's just the tip of the tit it really is like it's more so about the fact he doesn't help around the house he's not a partner yeah it's not about the boobs she's yeah it's not about the boobs she's not being met and i can't imagine what it's like for someone to not like show you love and then to be like get over here i need to hold your tit
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no. He's literally like... Come here. He's like, where's my toy? Come on to bed. Come on. Come on. Get over here. I don't care if you're tired or not. Come on, stressed toy. Literally. I would try to ruin it for him in any way I could. And that... People would call me petty. People would say, have a better communication style.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I would literally, like, I would get, you know, like, a sound pad. And, like, anytime he goes to, like, squeeze, I'd be like, aruga. Like, I would, I would. Yeah, I would start ruining it for him. There's no way. If I can't have peace, neither should you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. But is Leslie going to bring someone? Because like if Leslie gets to bring someone. Then it should be fine. Then OP should be able to have someone there too.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If I got to sit here, I'm going to put on Smosh. That's what we're doing. Best of Angela moments. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He should buy that thing that was on Meet the Parents or Meet the Fockers or whatever that the guy had, like the fake chest, the boobs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's trying to, like Jack, the character, Robert De Niro, trying to breastfeed the baby. He should just buy himself a A top.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It could be easy to fall into, right? Like you're with someone and at first it starts out 50-50 and then all of a sudden you realize you're the one 75% cleaning. Like I think you could slip into it easily without knowing. Oh, 100%. But I'm so curious if they slipped into it or if their relationship, that was always the dynamic.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Because I couldn't deal with a dynamic like that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Today, I am joined by the one and only Angela Ghirardano. Perfect. No, I'm not Italian and I will never try that again. And I'm actually cringing at myself that I did it the first time. I'm sorry I forced you to. Oh my God.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So for the 25 years before he met you, did he just not sleep? Man child has to go. So true. What was he doing when he was like in college or in high school? Next comment down. Nah, he must have used his mom's.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's disgusting. That's one of the things I just sometimes I wish I couldn't read.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Next comment down. We joke, but genuinely could they say something really? I just don't. Yeah, no, no, no, no. This person goes, it's not even a need because let's face it, your hand really doesn't have any more reaction to that particular skin than anywhere else on her body. If he's not touching her in a sexual way, my guess is that he needs the comfort of being able to control her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
in order to fall asleep. He's unsettled without that control, and it bothers him enough to keep him awake. He needs his favorite possession in his possession. This guy doesn't have a weird little quirk or even mommy issues. It's way more serious and dangerous than that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, I need to go look at Opie's account. Like, do we have any comments? Like, you good? Like, where are we at here? Oh, my God. Okay, we do have some comments. I tried suggesting so many things, but he just wants my boobs. He says I cannot sleep otherwise. He's not ready to compromise at all.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He calls me over when he is ready to sleep, and I have to stay there, mummified, until he falls asleep. Half of the time he wakes up if he notices me gone, which is when I try to finish the housework way earlier. I'm... You have to sit there mummified. He probably doesn't even let her go on a phone.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. He doesn't do housework. If he had done it, then I wouldn't be complaining like this. He spends his free hours doing things he likes. If I stop doing the work, then I get yelled at and he becomes upset, which is the reason I do it. He expects me to cook, clean, and also be there when he calls me.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When he calls me during chores, I have to leave them midway and wait until he falls asleep. Then I pray to the gods he doesn't wake up noticing me gone while I return to cleaning, which is the last thing I do. And I actually had a night out once with my friends after marriage. It was kind of recent. I think I got over 50 plus missed calls and I was being spammed until I reached home.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I'm not allowed to go on work trips for this very reason.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So she can't go on work trips. Her career is being impacted. She had one night out with friends. One? One night out with friends.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Unreal. I want to... This is so bad. But, like, the first thing that came into my mind is, like, I kind of want to hit his hands with a baseball bat. And, like, I know violence isn't the answer. Okay, I get it. I do. I get it. I'm so sorry. I'm like, maybe we can, like, tape oven mitts. Like, you know, like, tape some oven mitts around his hands. Like, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, maybe we can hypnotize him. Like, what can we do that's not violent that will make this stop?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
no I think I think there's a lot worse things you could say that would also be applicable bottom line she's gotta go this is not one do not let your family and friends convince you you're overreacting yeah you genuinely need to go and it's It's not about the boobs. I know like that's the headline here, but it's not.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's no, but this is why like there's some people that like come on the show and they'll be like, it's so sad. People have to turn to Reddit. And I'm like,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
no like thank god people can turn to reddit thank god people can go to a place where they're gonna get pretty neutral unbiased advice because we don't have a dog in this in this game like oh i don't like that saying anymore even like we don't have we don't have like like there's nothing for you to win or lose when you're helping someone that you don't know exactly so i'm like thank god reddit came for the win on this one because her mom and or her friends and whoever else sister and
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Not having her back. Like, if I heard my best friend was doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, and then she had to sit like a mummy while her partner massaged her breasts to fall asleep, like, come over.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You have a red flag next to you if you want to wave it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I do too. But I mean, OP was commenting after, you know, commenting as recent as seven days ago.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. I hope you're out there, OP. I'm going to send you the link for this. I hope you watch it. I hope you feel good about leaving. Do not feel bad. Get out.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, I'm going through it right now. Because you're engaged. Yeah. Getting married this September and there's some people in our life.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Truly. Truly. On that note, moving along. Okay. Do you want a choice on this next one?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You might get both of them. But I'll let you choose which one comes first, maybe. Okay. Option number one. Am I the asshole for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife's videotapes?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Option number two. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I love them all. Okay. Which one first though?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. So this is coming from AITAH6DaysOld, titled, Am I the Asshole for Ignoring My Wife for Throwing Away My Late Wife's Videotapes? Whew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, I think you're safe. You're reasonable. We just met. There's some people, though, that like they're not seeing anyone and they want to bring a plus one just to stir drama. See, that's what freaks me out about this story. And that's kind of similar to this where it's like I don't want to give them a plus one because like I don't want to deal with that. That's just it's my day. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, the context does matter. Like, because then we got to know, like, how crazy do we have to get with our advice? Like, do we need to drop a pin? Like, do we need to show up? Yeah. Do we need like, yeah, like literally like, yeah, like hashtag it's not about the boob. No, hashtag not about the boob. But if you need help getting out, drop a pin and I will genuinely fly and I will get the U-Haul.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I will get the U-Haul. I know how to drive those big rigs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's a location pretty close. We could do some parking lot. Yeah, we'll get you ready. I think, you know, it's one of those things that you got to do to like doomsday prep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wasn't there a zombie movie with like Woody Harrelson and he's in a U-Haul or something or a camper? And you cried on a plane? I might have shed a tear or two. But you got to know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my tax guy is going to love this. Okay, back to this one. I'm writing this because I don't know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanor. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks and she's turning 18. Background. Me and my late wife, Chloe, had been dating since college.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant. I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child, we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy. Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch or talking to our unborn child through the camera.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We made a promise to only show Eleanor the tapes at her 18th birthday. Fast forward two years after her birth, Chloe passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house. I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two-year-old daughter by myself.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back up dating, but every time I did, I felt like I was betraying her. Years later, when Eleanor was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday, and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Two years after, we got married.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And so I go back and forth. I think I'm kind of toting the line a little bit like where ultimately I'm like, OK, their house, their rules.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now, back to the present. Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up, and I kept all of the tapes for me to show her. Mind you, her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanor doesn't remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes, and a week ago I was talking to Wendy about it, and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talked about my late wife. I don't say things like, why can't you be like Chloe? Or Chloe was only supposed to be my first love. But I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was. Wendy has always talked to me about Chloe and how it made her sad that she can never be like her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Chloe was a model, then started working on her fashion career. And don't get me wrong, she was a really beautiful woman. while Wendy had two kids in college, and is not in the best shape. Due to her words. I love both women how they are and I've never had a preference, but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Chloe.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
whatever yeah but at the same time like you might burn a friendship because this is also their wedding day you've said yeah you've signed on board and now it's just coming down to like you not getting a plus one like i don't know like you're causing your friends some stress yeah but again ultimately it is your house i get it like i i really am right in the middle because i totally get it but it's also like does op really want to like host this that's already stressful to like host something
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told Wendy that I love her just the way she is and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident, she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it's good that she felt comfortable enough to share her feelings. I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She asked to see where the tapes were at and I showed her the box of videotapes of my late wife in the closet. Things were going fine until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter and when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching TV. I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away. All with a neutral expression. My heart dropped. And I asked her, what did she mean? And she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life. So she threw them away as a head start.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter's big surprise. We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was, so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's the morning, and I'm writing this in my office, going through my computer, trying to find old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter, because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to meet her mother, and I really thought it would bring her closer to her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I've been ignoring my wife for the past day, and she's been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is, but I really just can't even look at her right now. It's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Chloe died over 10 years ago. But I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them die.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm working on finding these files and I'm starting to think I was overreacting. I don't know what to do and I really need help. I'm nauseous.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is so devastating. This isn't the first story like this I've read either. Like, there's been multiple people that are threatened by someone's ghost.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I, I can't begin to understand that if you didn't want to be with someone who had a past and is a widow, why the fuck did you go after a widow?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's a scene in... 10 years since... I'm like, wait, I'm bad at math, but 10 years of them dating? Is that what she's trying to say?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think 10 years... Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up. Oh, and she was two when her mom died. So 16 years. But still, like, I don't think you ever... So 10 years of them dating. You never just, like, get over someone. Like, grief is, like, it's always kind of with you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, Khloe's ghost is probably affected as well. Like, she's probably up there, you know, like, a couple more days and she'll get to see my videos. That's so sad. Like, if I was a ghost, you know, I'd be curious. I'm nosy. I got to stick around a little. Oh my gosh. See how the videos are received. So yeah, Khloe's affected too.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't understand why it couldn't just be like, I will never be able to put my brain in this headspace. But like, it quite literally isn't about you. It's like, this is a gift for Eleanor.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It doesn't even have to do with you and your relationship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's literally for her 18th birthday. He's waited 16 years to be able to present this with her to her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And he's asking, am I the asshole for ignoring her? I don't know. No, this is so unfair.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Honestly, I'd have to... I'd be... I get so panicked and awkward and then I get too drunk. Me too. Because I just don't know what to do with myself. So I have something in my hand. I would just drink more. And you're like, oh, let me clean the gazebo. Oh, my ex. Oh, my boo. Like, this is too much. No, and like, I feel like Leslie...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I would, like, have a hard time even looking at those friends. Like, stay out of it. It hasn't even been 24 hours. I'd be like, who the fuck called you? Stay in your lane. Wendy, man. Wendy's trying to get everybody on board. Emotionally manipulate him.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What? Oh my God, Wendy. Top comment. Dear Lord, I'm honestly not one to advocate for divorce, but I do not think I could continue a relationship with someone who did something so wildly despicable. And selfish. Selfish. Repugnant. I mean, I want people to chime in with some big fancy words so I can learn them. Let's get bigger than repugnant in here about this person. This isn't jealousy.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's a mental disorder. She stole the only vestiges of your wife that your daughter will have. That is not something you can come back from or she can apologize for. This is a line in the sand. Someone goes, I doubt she's even sorry. Just sorry for herself that OP is ignoring her. It was all premeditated. Wendy needs a doctor and divorce papers. Whoa. Both of those together.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, definitely was premeditated. Where's that box? You know, can you just show me the box? You're so right. I forgot about that. Where's the box? She asked where the box was located. Where's the box? Where's the... Why do you need to know where the box is? Yeah. Why do you want to look at it? Also, what was OP? Like, I'm curious, like... I wonder why Wendy wants to see the box. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy, are you going to help me digitalize them? Yeah. What do you want, Wendy?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's got to get in the cloud now. Yeah. Got to now. And this is not OP's fault in any way, shape, or form. No, it isn't.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We do. We have a small update. Small. Small but big. Small. Okay. We'll just fuck the comments. Let's get into this. Yeah. Go. Click. Click faster. Click. What? Oh my God. Go. Okay. Small update coming from five days ago. I didn't expect this to blow up. I came here to look for general advice. Now I have a thousand people in my DMs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm going to be answering the questions that I'm getting about him the most. I was thinking about asking Wendy about the tapes and where she threw them out. But I saw a comment that told me to not ask her because it might give her some time to hide it or lie. Instead, when I went back home, I checked in the outside trash cans and the kitchen one, and I still couldn't find them.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Trash day isn't until Thursday, so I was confused. I finally went up to ask her, and at first, she wasn't going to tell me. I threatened with divorce, like one of you guys said, and she gave in. It turns out she kept the videotapes in her car until trash day arrived because she knew I would look through the trash. Shut the fuck up. So now I have the tapes. Thank God. But she went the extra mile?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This bitch is unhinged. Unhinged. Wendy. Wendy. Wendy needs to go. Wendy did not want him to have the tapes. I want to, like, can someone, like, send Wendy some holy water and just, like, pour it on her head?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Thank God. Thank God. Okay. Another question asked was, did Eleanor know about the tapes? No, I didn't want to ruin the surprise until if I'd known that I had a backup. She didn't know about them now, and I'm not planning on telling her until her birthday. The only problem is that I'm afraid that Wendy might tell her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
One more question is people are asking if I'm considering divorce. Wendy never did anything like this before, and I don't want to ruin a six-year relationship. But at the same time, I really do think she needs some type of help. I'm considering asking her to go to therapy, and I'm really considering our relationship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy is really good with my daughter, and my daughter loves her and her children like family. I think Wendy is just trying to take Chloe's place with being Eleanor's mother. I'm really starting to think she has issues.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
starting that was so innocent starting a lot of people also said that if I don't divorce her I will betray my daughter my daughter is my number one and I think I should find someone better that can respect not only me but my daughter and her mother yeah it's like the space you want to hold in your new home you want it to like somehow just like honor who you lost a little bit and this is the opposite of that
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
complete opposite. There's no way there's any pictures of Chloe around the house. Like there's no way there's any memories of her. And like, I recognize like if I died tomorrow, Fingers crossed. I'm good. But I would want Justin to move on. But I would hope, like, I mean, have a little picture of me and you somewhere.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, yeah, I wouldn't want it on a loop playing on a TV in my kitchen. I get it. These aren't about you. These are about the daughter. They're all about the baby.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This has nothing to do with their relationship. My face, I'm like, my face is tingling. I'm so mad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I can't feel my lips. Look at that. I can't feel them. I'm like, I'm so upset.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I think if we want to look at, like, it wasn't just the trash. And, like, she said she threw him away. So she lied about throwing him away. But, like, it's that extra level of vindictiveness and preparedness to take that away from him to where she's planning to hold him in the car just for extra effort. Yeah. And... And she didn't actually throw them away.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's upset, crying in his room, ignoring you, and you don't go grab them out of your car?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She was still planning on actually throwing them away. She wasn't going to pull them out. She's tripling down. She was actually going to throw them away.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is done. Like if he doesn't get divorced.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's not if it's when. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's not if it's when. Mm hmm. Poor thing. Okay, well, about that engagement one. Here we go, I guess. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, I'm going to throw a curveball to you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Where do you think the top comment went on this one? I think everyone's like, it's your house. You can do what you want. Top comment. Pull an uno reverse. Tell them Leslie isn't allowed on your property and watch their heads explode.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So you can have that one. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents or grandparents? Or you can have this one. A day old r slash relationship advice. The double standards in my 28 female and my husband's 36 male marriage are killing me. Curveball. Oh, okay. Or engagement. I like them both. This is where I sometimes let a coin flip decide.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's flipping. It is flipping. Tails. Tails. Tails. For the proof. Engagement story. Okay, okay, okay. Here we go.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I like the active questions. It shows. Yeah. You like to clarify.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is Dave and Kim from the gazebo. Yeah. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents? I, 26 female, was engaged for more than a year, but called it off in October. My family and friends knew, but not a lot in my ex's family and friends knew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
His parents had grown frustrated by the chaos in their family that to them seemed to follow the end of our engagement, and they and my ex's grandparents approached me to ask why I had called everything off. This is so messy, and I feel dumb for not worrying about it, but I'll explain what happened and what I told them.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So my ex's brother and his wife were trying to have a baby for a while and failed. Not long after ex and I got engaged, his brother and sister-in-law asked if my ex would donate sperm. They wanted to turkey baster it and act like his brother was the biofather, but they'd be honest with the kid. My ex and I talked about it, and I was fine with it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I helped him get the samples, and his brother would come and collect them and take them to his wife. It took quite a few, but it worked. Only when she got pregnant finally, she started acting weird towards me. She was jealous, like clearly jealous. She made snarky comments towards me and glared at me when I'd see her. This was going on for a few weeks.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When my ex and I were shown the scan photos, she looked pissed that he was hugging me while we looked. Then she came to the house when I was alone and she accused me of coming between the brothers and wanting her child to grow up an only child. Like this was seriously out of nowhere. It made me feel off about things, and I asked why she was acting like a jealous girlfriend or mistress.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She lost her shit and told me I needed to back off. I confronted my ex, and he played dumb. He said he had no idea why she was behaving that way. but I didn't buy it. And then his brother asked me if I thought his wife was being weird with my ex. Oh, fuck. I said, yep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We both confronted them, and she asked why it mattered how she had actually gotten pregnant as long as they got the result they wanted. X's brother almost attacked my ex. X was saying it wasn't like that and the turkey baster method wasn't working and it was all about his brother and how nothing else happened but in and out. So they fucked? He really thought we'd buy that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But meet me in the middle. In my house. Let this be easy for me and you. It's awkward having my ex come over. We were supposed to buy this house together until she lied about her massive credit card debt. Until she lied and charged it. 26% APY. That's a great comment. Yeah. The next one down is from OP responding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh my god, I'm so glad we picked this one. I walked away from him that night and I gave him back my ring. X tried to fight for me to forgive him, but I just felt foolish for agreeing to begin with. I don't know what's going on with the brother and her. I didn't stay in touch. But I told X's parents and grandparents that X slept with his brother's wife and that I got messy because of the baby.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They thanked me for my honesty and apologized for asking me. And then, a few days later, my ex DM'd me on Instagram and asked why I had to mess up his family like that. And he said I fucked his brother over more than he already had. I blocked him. It was a second account I forgot about. But I feel bad if I highlighted what his brother's dealing with before he was ready to tell anyone.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Am I the asshole? Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. I mean, it's also your story to tell too. Yeah. And they decided to ask her instead of him, their son. So clearly they're not getting a straight answer from him and they're sus and they wanted to go to the horse's mouth. So... All is fair in love and war.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It was coming for them anyway. Or like dropping the cigarette at a gas station. Like there's gas on the ground. It just takes your little spark.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They could have done the turkey baster method. Maybe it would have taken a little longer, but... It probably would have worked all the same.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's like giving that. No, I just had a, just, it was a while ago now, but we did a live show in Utah and one of our listeners who was an ex-Mormon and had actually soaked got on stage and told us all about it. And like, yeah, it's giving that same energy. It feels like they said that, but I don't know if they did that. Why would she start acting like a jealous girlfriend? That's it. That's it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The thought of having anything else inside, anyone else's member inside of me grosses me out because I'm like, I love my fiance. Like the thought of someone else right now, like,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't know. I think she actually likes the brother. I think he views it as just sex. And you think, yeah, yeah, that's what I think as well.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The petty part of me did absolutely consider saying, well, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And then that's why she got jealous, and he's over here happily hugging his partner.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, I didn't want you to fuck my wife. This is wild, dude. This is wild. I want to know. I want the brother to come forward and tell us his story. I need the other side of this one. Yeah, like, what was the moment before?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Nope. They need to know, too, because this is a dynamic they have to work with going forward. And the brother might choose to not stay with her now because technically it's not kosher anymore. Like what was kosher was the turkey baster. No cheating. And to get your brother to agree and sign on like that was such a gift. But you had to.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What are they texting? Who initiated this bang session?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now, a couple comments from OP. I agree. They really are perfect for each other after everything that's happened. I'm not sure they'll ever realize just how much they fucked up either. I don't even know for sure he's angry at me. That could be something my ex said to just make me feel bad for doing it. I hope it didn't upset him and he's doing good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Talking about the brother who's actually like being hurt by this.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But she's allowed to tell them the truth. Yeah. Absolutely. Family's got to know. I mean, it is one of, I mean, it's that brother's baby. So, like, If the one guy divorces her, she could go after him for child support. Whoa. Because there's no way these people were smart enough to have a contract. 100% now. So maybe they'll end up together in the end. And then the family will cut them off.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And then... Yeah. That's... Yeah. Whoa. Top comment on this one? Not the asshole. He kept a secret from you, which is never good. But this isn't hiding a Pokemon obsession or splurging on a gaming PC without asking. This is fucking around on you and lying about it. Leaving him was just being sane about things. But his family asked. You answered.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It wasn't your job to keep his secrets, especially since you're not a couple anymore. It is literally not your circus, not your monkeys.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, yeah. You're on it with me. We're going to give you some lessons first because it's a big rig.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh. I'm like, without my contacts, I can see the mic in front of my face and that would be it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Contacts are great. They're not as scary to put in as you would think.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. I'll literally put them in for you and teach you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's my favorite thing. If my hands were clean, I'd pull mine out and pop it back in. No, you don't have to. But I ate a chicken nugget right before this. So can't do that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Next comment down. Yeah. It's just better for everyone's mental health if she sits this one out. Feed them some bullshit on not wanting the ex-girlfriend drama to take the spotlight away from them on their special day.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, she's 70. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No. Okay. Your stuff will be linked. You are so amazing on Smosh. You have a podcast? Oh, my God. Yeah, I do have a podcast. It's an improv podcast, so it's really silly and dumb. It's really good. I think I saw one episode where you and Amanda were trying to make Shane laugh.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You were just like, you were losing it. You were just like so serious and like, I'm a misogynist. And it was like, and then Amanda was like, well, yeah, you are. And then just Shane died. I'm like, it's such a good show.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I was like, look at them. Didn't you just go on Tommy's new show too?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's so good. So good. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. All of Angela's links will be in the description of the show. Go follow. Go leave that 70-year-old in Sicily a comment. We can get her her handle. But other than that, head over to Patreon for some more bonus content this month. And until next time, bye!
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That says a lot coming from the Smosh over there.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I've seen a few things brought up a number of times in the comments, so I will quickly address them here. Okay. One, I am fully aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased and they reimbursed me for a special event insurance policy, which will provide 100% coverage for any damages, claims, injuries, etc. to any of the property or persons up to $2 million.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It is one of the first things we did after I agreed to have the event in my home. I want to do that for a wine night at my apartment. I think, honestly, if you are hosting a housewarming, a baby shower, any event. A dinner. You should do this. A kickback. I had to do this for one of our comedy shows. Yeah. It was only 50 bucks.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This has got to be genius property damages. Red wine on a couch would totally be covered. Like, oops, we ordered pizza. I literally only let people drink water and white wine on my couch because of this reason exactly. Anytime I host a kickback, it's probably only $5 for a house. It's good to know that white wine will just...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think it's actually made of books. There's just a sheet over it. It's books with a sheet. It's books with a sheet. But you do some amazing work over there. I was watching some of your most iconic moments today. You have like people on YouTube that put together. Yes, I love those. Compilations for you. You're hilarious.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, I spilled a whole red solo cup of white wine on the couch. Oh my God.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I also found this amazing cleaner from Amazon. Well, my mother-in-law found it first and then I got it. It is the best cleaner hands down.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Anything. I had a black mark from a roller blade on my white couch. Are we rollerblading on our couch? I was putting them on and I just went with my leg and I got it and came right out.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I got a Dyson with all the attachments. I see. A Dyson's on my list. Just go to the Co. Go to the Costco.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Go to the Co. You get an extra warranty. It's so good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'll take you to the Co. We got you. No need for a boy. Number two. The wedding will have a maximum, if everyone comes, of 75 guests, five catering staff, and five security staff. The security is because this is an open area that anyone walking past could access. The house has hosted events twice the size, and logistically, it'll all be fine.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
On the property are two cottages, one with one bathroom and the other with two bathrooms. The only portion of my house that will not be locked during the wedding is the finished basement. The basement has two bathrooms. Got it. So, reasonable toilets. And security. Security. That's... lessen the liability. Hopefully no one will go in the lake. Three, every person who is single, i.e.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
not in an established relationship, received an invitation with a plus one, including me and Leslie. This talk came after I sent in my return card and indicated I was bringing a plus one. Now they are saying they do not want me to have a plus one because Leslie blew up about it and they are afraid of a blow up at the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Number four. Last one. Leslie indicated she intends to bring someone on her card. I do not know if she will actually bring someone. Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Leslie's bringing someone, you're bringing someone. It's going to be a good time. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I see. Here's what really bugs me, though. Point number three, Leslie was the one that blew up and they're worried about Leslie making this blow up at the wedding happen. Why are we making Leslie's blow up and immaturity and emotional irregulation? Oh, he's problem.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no. I watched a lot of clips. Oh, wow. Like a lot of clips. And I feel like, no, I think you're genuinely one of the funniest people.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You know, we got engaged quite some time ago now, September of 2023, and it is now February of 2025, and we are getting into wedding planning. Yeah. Probably a little late. Probably a little procrastinating.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Unfortunately for me, you're kind of very go with the flow and you just want to make sure I'm happy while you have your opinions and preferences. I think you would prefer to elope. I've always had this idea of a wedding. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. And I think this is a place a lot of people are in.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know. It's super strange. And we've had a bunch of vegan stories. People lose their minds over eating vegan food when they're not vegan. We've had a few stories and there was another one about a wedding. But it's like... I don't know. I understand how it could, like, be tough if, like, you're so hungry and that's the only meal of the day you're having.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Like, and then the food is, like, inedible to you. But it was probably really good food.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And, well, the thing is, it's like, if it tastes good, why do you care if it's vegan or not?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, and I think everyone has their preferences, right? Like, it's kind of hard, like, what I'm trying to explain in my head. She could have ate before. She could have accommodated herself. But again, it's kind of a wedding. You shouldn't have to. Like, there should be things that your guests can eat.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But at the same time, like, this is having your guests eat vegan versus forcing vegan people to eat burgers. Like, A veganism is like it's so different than like eating meats and all this stuff. You know what I mean? Like it's it feels like for people to eat vegan for one night out of one wedding, like that's fine versus having other people like turn into carnivores when they're not.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
In my take, Linda's got to grow up. Linda has to get back on planet Earth. She's got to grow up. Top comment, not the asshole. The whole thing was vegan. It was your wedding, your choice. I wouldn't feel tricked by eating a vegan cake at all. She has some issues. Let her seethe and be upset. You don't owe her anything. Put up a sign, would have rewarded her bad entitled behavior.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Also, if people have allergies, that's on them to monitor their allergies and ask. I don't think anyone's going to give a fuck besides Linda. Goofy. Just goofy. It's a cake. It probably tastes better than the one with dairy in it. There's so many cakes here in L.A. because L.A. is notorious. Oh my God, oat milk, almond milk. Oh my God, we don't eat dairy. Whatever. It's honestly great.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
so especially in this economy oh my god wait till we get into this you guys but like i just want a tent i want a nice tent right glass looking clear nice tent with walls in case it rains because you want it at the farm i want it at my farm i still want to get married at my farm and the wedding venue there is just not ready it's probably not gonna be ready for i don't know five years i don't know just a tent you guys a nice tent what did the wedding planner tell us
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's great because Justin is dairy free. He's intolerant. And I feel better. You don't have so much bloating inflammation. None.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's so good. And most of the cakes that are out here taste better than cakes with dairy in them. I don't know how they do it. It is crazy. Chalk it up as a new experience and just move on. It's not that serious. It's a cake. Don't eat it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You want to see someone else that's about to try to ruin a night?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
People are goofy, but this is like, again, like is it easier to elope? Because I think about the weddings I've gone to and like I've sat at a table with people and they're like, there's not enough food here. Like I'm still hungry. That sucked. Like people are going to complain and that's just a frustrating part of it. It's like people go to weddings to judge weddings.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She's nuts. And so is this next one. One of this week's partners is Lume. I just got back from a bachelorette trip and I had a 14-hour travel day. And there were a lot of people on those planes and shuttle buses that definitely did not put deodorant on. But you know who didn't stink? Me, because I remembered to put on my Lume before I left.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
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Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
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Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lume. Okay, story number three. It is coming from r slash bridezillas. Nice. This has been the most fascinating subreddit for me to dive into lately. Don't usually spend a lot of time here. It honestly, the subreddit made me start feeling crazy, crazy.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
There was one bride writing in and she shared a picture of like a seating chart, right? And it was like a mirror with like tables grouped up on different like pieces of paper on the mirror. And she goes, am I a bridezilla if I want a seating chart? Do people not have seating charts at their wedding?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
How do you know where people sit? And if you're having a plated dinner, how do the servers know who has allergies and who ordered what? You're a bridezilla because you want a seating chart? Typically, when people make seating charts, they preference the tables based on who's going to get along and who knows each other. I feel like that's just considerate.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
There was so much on this subreddit. I started to lose my mind. I'm like, whoa. Again, people have lost the plot. What? The stuff people were questioning. There was another girl. Literally, it doesn't fit our theme because she's not getting married. But there was another girl whose friend, I'm so flabbergasted, whose friend said, hey, you can pick whatever bridesmaid's dress you want.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It just has to be this color. She sent her friend 40 different options and her friend turned down every single one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Dude, at that point, I would bow out. I would bow out. It's becoming a part-time job to look for a bridesmaid's dress. I can't handle this. I'm out. Just time to elope. That other person should. People in the comments were like, maybe she's colorblind. I don't think this other person in this next story, though, is colorblind. And you'll see why very soon.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, so this is a month old. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Letting My Brother's Fiance Wear White to My Wedding?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, so I, 28 female, just got married to my amazing husband, Jake, 30 male. The planning was stressful, but everything turned out beautiful. Or at least it would have if not for the drama my brother's fiance, Erica, 26 female, caused. Erica is one bold, loud woman.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She's the type who loves pushing the envelope as far as it would go and which, typically, is rather fun until she pushes it to your detriment. A month before my wedding, Erica sent me a text stating to give a heads up that she wanted to wear a white gown on my wedding day.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
According to her, she considered it a modern trend and added that since she would not attract more attention than the bride herself, it did not matter. Hmm. I was shocked. I told her tactfully, but firmly, that going to someone else's wedding in white is a serious faux pas. Erica shrugged off the comment and said, quote, It's just a color. You are not even in pure white. You're wearing ivory.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Which was true, but not relevant in my mind. I tried to let it go, thinking perhaps she was playing a game with me. But then, a week before the wedding, my mom sent me a photo of Erica's dress. It wasn't just white. It was floor-length, lacy, and absolutely bridal. I called Erica immediately and told her she needed to find something else to wear or she wouldn't be allowed in.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She said I was being insecure and that it's 2024, women should be able to wear what they want. Later, my brother called me, Chris, 29 male, begging to let it go. He said Erica thought she was targeted and that she was in an uproar because I was ruining her experience. He said she has already spent a lot on the dress and that by now it's too late to get another one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm literally going to go on Alibaba and order a freaking tent myself. I'm literally, I'm just like, I'm like, what? What? And I see these videos of people doing, you know, the Chinese, like you order direct from China off Alibaba and like it gets sent in a crate. And I think it's going to be me if we do this thing. But weddings are crazy, you guys. So we're getting into all wedding stuff today.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
In this case, I just stood firm and said, if she shows up in that dress, she does not come in. Erica came out on the wedding day, dressed in white. My stomach was sinking at that point, but I had already warned my wedding coordinator of the potential situation. The wedding coordinator caught Erica at the door and said that either she changes out of that or get gone.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Erica had a total fit in front of my guests, screaming that she is a bridezilla and jealous of her confidence. Chris stepped in and that is how they both bailed. Now my family is literally torn apart. My parents feel that Erica had overreached, but my brother says I humiliated them in public.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Many of my other relatives go so far as to state that I overreacted and that I should have kept quiet for Harmony's sake. It has been two weeks and Chris is not talking to me. Erica has made passive-aggressive comments everywhere on social media about insecure brides and toxic wedding culture.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Sometimes I think I must have been an idiot for even thinking twice about this, and I should have just let her have the stupid dress. So, am I the bridezilla?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That. It's not her wedding. She could have saved that dress for her wedding. It's white floor-length floral lace.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's just... Well, that's very clearly, like, that's someone who is with a partner that cannot stand up to them. And we see it all the time. He's an enabler. Whether or not he thinks it's a big deal or not, or maybe he's scared to rock the boat with her, but he's clearly... He doesn't have the confidence to communicate with her. He's scared of her backlash.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Either way, she's kind of walking all over him, which is not right.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I mean, here's the thing. I would have been very curious if at any point OP said to her, you can wear white to my wedding. Totally cool. Totally cool. Fine. Fine. Just so you know, I'm going to wear white to your wedding then too. I think it'd be really cool if you wore white to mine and then I wore white to yours because you wouldn't have an issue with that, right?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I can wear white to yours, right? Do you think someone like this would be okay with someone else wearing white?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I think this is going to be a theme that kind of comes up a few times this year. But the theme is eloping underrated because eloping is looking pretty good right about now. But we shall see.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, no, don't give them any more airtime. Don't acknowledge this anymore. It's to the point where people have said what they want to say and it was your wedding day. Like, let them just whip themselves in circles over something so stupid. And that's kind of where the comments are going. Top comment. Oh, honey, let them bitch and moan and make even greater fools of themselves.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
What a bunch of weirdos. Next comment. And when they get married, wear a beautiful white dress, but don't tell them before. Let's see a real bridezilla in action. She will lose her shit. Next comment down. AKA, wear your wedding dress again.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I know. Yeah. I mean, look at the upside. He supported his partner in her wrongs.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
No, and having your partners back is being able to have conversations with them, even tough ones. He should have said, you know what? I get it. You might be right. You might be right, babe. You know, maybe it is a new trend. And we're going to talk about this new trend in a second. Maybe it is a new trend, but hey, you know, my sister said, no, let's just respect it. Let's respect it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, let's dive in. Okay, here we go. Up first. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is posted five months ago. Titled, Am I the Asshole for starting my wedding ceremony before my mom showed up?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But let's talk about this new trend, this new trend of wearing white to people's weddings.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You know what? Based on this other post coming from Bridezilla, r slash Bridezilla, I don't know if it's a joke. And maybe I'm just missing this. Maybe I haven't seen the TikTok videos that, you know, weddings and white, wearing white as a guest is a new thing. I get it if the bride instructs it where it's like, hey, it's our reception, our rehearsal dinner. Everyone else wears white.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm wearing blue. Get it. Those instructions were not sent in this case. Let's get into this next one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Eloping is looking real good right about now. You know... You know we're going to get someone in white. You just know it. I know it. We are getting people in white.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'll get to it because we've got so many other good ones. Maybe I'll put it in the hopper, but there is someone that had a good solution for... Throw it in the hopper.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That was one of our OG takes. One of our OG things. I mean, that might have been the wind under the Too Hot Takes sails. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I haven't tried on dresses yet. So I don't know how this is going to go, but we've really started planning and looking into this and it's got us rethinking everything.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
The invitation says, Ceremony at 2. As per usual, we were a little late starting, but nothing crazy. Next thing I know, I'm walking myself down the aisle with no mom, grandma, or family friend in sight. The ceremony continues, and it's over before we know it. Still nothing. After 45 minutes, finally, they pull up.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know, protective big bro instincts kicked in and I told her we're fucking done. I asked for the ring back. She reluctantly gave it back before telling her she had 10 minutes to pack her things and get the fuck out of my house before I called the cops.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Obviously, I canceled everything and told everyone who would ask the exact reason why Karen and I were done. Sweet Chad obviously heard of it and saw the proportion this drama was gaining. He even told me it's not a big deal if he's not there. He just wants me to be happy. I told him my big day is meant to be the happiest in my life, and it wouldn't fucking be without him there.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I certainly can't be happy with someone like Karen, given who she really is. Well, now she's back to her parents' house, and some of our mutual friends have really distanced themselves from her. I got a lot of texts from her family, all more hateful than the previous one, and ended up blocking all of them.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Karen, on the other hand, hasn't been really aggressive or anything, just alternating between guilt tripping and cries, saying how I ruined her life, news spreads like wildfire apparently, and that she can't believe I ruined our four years relationship over a word. But not once, not once has she apologized for what she told about Chad.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So I know even more, I don't want anything to do with her anymore. So yeah, maybe I'm the asshole. But I don't know. I don't think so. And honestly, I think she deserves every part of the backlash she's getting. She has to face the consequences of her hatred. And it's great her true self has been revealed to the world, in my opinion. Who even says that in Seattle anyways? LOL.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Then I proceed to go and tell them it's over and that they missed it and that two meant two. My mother immediately became hostile and proceeded to blame the bakery for not having the buns ready. Then said they were stopped by a train. And my personal favorite was, quote, it's your fault you didn't call or text to see where we are. Excuse me? Again, the invitation said to.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, and so here's the thing, right? If they would have just eloped, OP probably wouldn't have found out. They're four years into a relationship and this has not come out.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So literally, if they would have just eloped, this would have been swept under the rug and he would have no idea.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I think what's really interesting, and there's a movie with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars, Bridal Wars. And there is a quote in there. That another actor reads and it was like something about like sometimes weddings bring good couples closer together and sometimes they tear the bad couples that probably shouldn't be together apart.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I think that is something that's really interesting because it's like it's a high stress situation. You have to make a lot of compromises.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And so it is kind of one of those interesting things where it's like eloping is obviously kind of an easy way out. It's more affordable, less stress, less compromising, but weddings do highlight flaws in a sense. Maybe it's just recently and TikTok sharing information, but I've seen a lot of weddings fall apart Really close.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Also note, the officiant also had another wedding to get to after mine, so it was a tight schedule. So am I the asshole for not holding up my ceremony? Side note, I found out the real reason why they were late. She wasn't done getting herself ready, therefore holding up everyone. But she is mad at me because it's my fault. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I know, but think about how mad people would be. Like...
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
No, I get it. Obviously, I think it's very clear that OP here is not the asshole. Anyone that's going to use that type of language should not be in your life when you have a brother in general, but like, especially so when you have a brother who identifies as a part of the LGBTQ plus community, this is like another theme I'm kind of working on.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And it's something that keeps coming up in my head today, but it's, it's have we lost the plot? Because there's been a lot of like,
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
anti-lgbtq plus messaging out there um attacking of trans people which trans people account for like the most minuscule percent of our population and it's like we're focusing so much energy on attacking them like let people live their lives like we're focusing on you know attacking diversity when we should be embracing it because we all are so different and beautiful and it's it just feels like we're fighting against each other when we when we shouldn't be
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Like, it just feels like people have lost the plot. And it's like with this. Like, did you love this guy? Did you love him? Because if you love him, you kind of love... All of him and who he loves and, you know, like unless the family's toxic, but like, did you love him or did you just want a wedding? And you wanted something cool for optics. Right.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Because you're giving a crazy person that is just about the optics.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Dude, we're floating on a rock in, like, the middle of, like, 20 billion other galaxies.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Typically, you've got a village, and the village is what makes them them.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
it's you really got to analyze you really got to analyze like some people have a bad village with in-laws and they're still willing to look past it and marry their partner because they love them some people yeah like i know people that will not seriously consider someone if the in-laws suck they've been four months in met the in-laws and dipped out because they were terrible yeah
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And it's just like, let people live, let people live. Bottom line, let people live. And this is fucking crazy.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't, I don't have enough time in my life right now. I don't even talk to like as many family and friends as I want. How do people find the time? Genuinely, how do people find the time? Top comment on this one. True. Yeah, OP replies to that. Hadn't thought about it. Damn. Yeah, I dodged a nuke right there.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Honestly, here's the thing. Like, I would actually, I would like elope privately, but now... I don't like any of the other dates. Like if we eloped and then had a wedding ceremony in September, the date we're thinking, cool. But like, I don't like any of the dates between.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know, little doggy, but we got to move along to the next one here. Another one of this week's partners is Quince. We all want a little luxury. And if we're spending our hard-earned money, we want quality. That is where Quince comes in. Quince is going to be your go-to for luxury essentials at affordable prices.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Those staple pieces for your wardrobe that you have for years to come and can mix and match with so many different things that hold up wash after wash after wash. and make you look good, and most importantly, feel good. Quince has a wide range of high-quality items at prices within reach. They have washable silk tops, dresses, organic cotton sweaters, and 14-carat gold jewelry.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And the best part about all of Quince's items, they are priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands. You've heard me talk about Justin's jacket story. We looked in person everywhere, and the jacket he got from Quince was so much better and way cheaper. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash THT for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash THT to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash THT Okay, this next one. This next one. It is coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for kicking my mother out of my wedding after she brought my ex as her plus one?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I, male 30, started seeing June, female 29, about three years ago. My mother has never really liked June for a couple of reasons, the main one being the fact that June didn't let my mom push her around. She kept firm boundaries, which I really admired, and she even helped me to do the same.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
My mom hated this, calling June controlling and wishing I hadn't broke up with my previous girlfriend, Margo, who my mom loved. I was with Margo for five years and it was horrible. Margo was very controlling and manipulative and always guilted me into things I wasn't comfortable with. But thanks to support from friends and my sister, I was able to leave her.
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It was hard, but I had help and my life has improved since. My mom was very upset with this, but relationships didn't last. So she eventually let it go until I started dating June about a year later. When June and I announced our engagement, my mom didn't freak out, which was weird considering my mom hates June.
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She was very calm, but I just took it as she was finally accepting this, and so I didn't think much of it. Everything was fine and smooth up until the wedding. I gave both of my parents plus ones to the wedding since they both remarried after I graduated college. So I'm not close to their spouses, but gave them the option of inviting them.
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We had a very small ceremony, just immediate family and close friends. After the ceremony, me and June went to take pictures and and then met back with everyone we invited to the reception, which was pretty big. When we got there, my sister and June's best friend ran up to us in a panic. Before they even said anything, I spotted it. My mom was at the table with my dad, my dad's wife, and Margot.
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I wanted to freak, but June kept me calm. I walked over, pulled them both aside, and simply told them to leave. My mom tried to explain that Margo and I are soulmates and June is just in the way of true love, but I wasn't hearing it. I didn't care. Just got my best friends to escort them out and I returned to the party where luckily, after a few moments, I was able to relax and enjoy it.
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I really didn't think this would all turn into something huge, but June and I just got back from our honeymoon where we didn't have our phones and seeing mine, I saw hundreds of texts from multiple family members. They all think I was an asshole for kicking my mom out of her only son's wedding.
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For the record, she was there for the ceremony, but apparently was really upset she was kicked from the reception. Here's a summary of my family's thoughts. Some think I could have just ignored Margo and didn't have to freak out. A few others, including my dad, think I should have just kicked Margo out and let my mom stay. But after that stunt my mom pulled, I didn't want either of them there.
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I'm starting to second guess myself since everyone is really mad. June and my sister are on my side, but I fear my dad may be right and I should have just let my mom stay and made Margo leave. So I've come to Reddit. Am I the asshole?
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But she didn't just invite Margot. She didn't just stop there. She went so far as to then, at this reception, after OP is already married, to say, hey, sonny boy, you just fucked up. This is your soulmate, actually.
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What did she want him to do? Oh, you're right. You're right, Mom.
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Let me go tell June real quick. Hey, June. It's off, babe.
Two Hot Takes
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Oh, that wedding license that everyone signed? Rip that up in the back room.
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What did she think would come of this? And why the wedding day when it's kind of too late?
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She was being crazy calculated with that like, like deviously calm, like after the engagement. Where like he even thought she's just getting used to it. She's coming around.
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This... Is really wild, really wild. Oh my God, if my mom showed up to our wedding with an ex, I would push her in Lake Superior.
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And I get like, I'm like trying to think like with all these wedding stories, why does it seem that weddings brings out more flying monkeys than usual?
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Security is crucial. All the stories have demonstrated that.
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Well, I'm almost wondering if people's families... And especially if they're paying, but that they feel entitled to weddings. I've raised this person. I've supported them. This wedding is just as much for me. I want to party. Like, I wonder if that's a thought process behind some of these people. I know graduations can kind of get that way.
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But even that's kind of contentious because there's a lot of hot takes that say, okay, the wedding is just about the bride and the groom. But then there's some people that say, no, a wedding realistically is also for your guests. You need to entertain your guests. You need to feed your guests. You're throwing a party. So it's not just your day. And sustenance as well. Quality.
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I mean, even us, I think that's been like a big thing for us is like we've got a lot of people on both sides and bringing everyone together. And like we have even worried about that where we're like, what drama are we going to encounter on our day? Is it worth it having a wedding and having all these people in the same room?
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my brother when he and his wife got married um we all have talked about this like we have a very crazy family dynamic like me and my like my brothers at least we all have the same mom different dads and then i have a little sister who we have the same dad but different moms and at my brother's wedding my dad like our dad jerry who kind of like took us all on
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gave a speech and Matt's bio dad was like ready to get up and like fight him. And then my uncle Chuck had to like step in. It was, there was drama, like even the best days, the most planned days. It's like you get a little alcohol on people and some people can't handle it. And one thing triggers the next and you have a domino of crazy.
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And so, you know, getting back to this one, one weddings are tough, right? They're tough. A lot of people, a lot of dynamics, history, context, whatever. With this one, I think this was obviously not the asshole, but this was also the safest decision because you don't know what Margo is capable of. Obviously, she's got to go.
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But you also don't know what your mom is capable of because of the fact that she thought it was a good idea to bring Margo as her plus one. What else? Even if you kick Margo out and let her stay, what else is she going to do to ruin that night?
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But Margo demonstrated how cuckoo she is because she showed up.
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To their wedding, Margo! Exactly. So Margo's got screws loose too.
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I know. So with this one, eloping would have been easier. Yeah. But I do think their wedding sounds like it was great. And they did it really cool where like the ceremony was small and intimate. And then the reception was the rager, which I like that idea. But I, you know, obviously, if they would have eloped, they would have avoided it. But
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There's clearly some tension there or a history of this behavior because I know for me, my mom is notoriously late. She almost missed our engagement. Granted, she didn't know what it was, but my mom is always late. We know this. Our wedding, I'm going to tell her 1 p.m. if it's 3 p.m. because I know. But... If this were me, and I know my mom's a late person, and my mom was like this.
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hey, you learned you can't trust your mom and you set boundaries and now you move forward.
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Dude, I've talked about this so much. We're rewatching How I Met Your Mother. And I literally last night, like, I just was like, Ted is so crazy for telling this story. One, Ted's annoying. But you have to realize, like, he's telling this story from his point of view, which is like the best point of view. Can you imagine how bad it would be if it's not from his point of view? Ted's goofy.
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But when you said telling your kids or someone this story someday, all I could think about is Ted. I'm like, God.
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Don't be a Ted. Don't be a Ted. Have you heard that new song that someone made on TikTok about Ted?
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Oh my God. It's so funny. It was like, I went on a date and she said I reminded her of Ted Mosby.
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For some reason, and honestly, maybe it's just my phone being creepy, but I feel like a lot of people are rewatching it right now.
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I think it's really interesting. You can tell we have made progress as a society when you watch old shows like this.
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Because some of the shit they say on this show, or even like we're re-watching Impractical Jokers.
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Some of the stuff they do on that show, I don't think it would fly nowadays.
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I know. And there was... God, there was an actor who came out and he even said this about a bunch of movies he did. He goes, we wouldn't be able to make those movies now. So, you know, there's hope. There's hope. We got this, guys. We got this. The pendulum shall swing.
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It's always swinging. Do your chain hang low? Do we wobble to the flow? Nope. Okay. Moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Bumble. Are you ready to date your way? No more following other people's rules. I can't reply to them too soon. Do they like me? Am I being funny enough? The best way to date is your way. By being the most you. By sharing those fun quirks about yourself.
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Like if you're a horse girl or you love smutty novels. Or maybe you want to use some of Bumble's features to find someone you can go salsa dancing with. Yeah, Bumble actually lets matches know from the get-go what you're into, what you're looking for.
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It even spotlights what you have in common with potential matches as you're looking at their profile, making it easier and quicker to find the people who like what you like. You're going to know if you can bond over Taylor Swift, sports, or travel goals pretty quickly.
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I was just on a bachelorette trip with 12 girls and more than half of them, including myself, met their partner, their husband, on a dating app and by showing exactly who they are and by dating their way. So give it a try yourself. Date your way on Bumble. This next one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit.
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It is titled, My brother-in-law confessed feelings for me after I went wedding dress shopping with his fiancée. This just happened today and I'm using a throwaway because I promote my small business on my main and I want to be anonymous with this. Okay, I'm pretty overwhelmed, so I'll start with some background. I have been with my husband for five years. We've been married for two.
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Since early on in our relationship, I've been great friends with his older brother, partially because I always wanted one. When he started dating a girl about two years ago, I went out of my way to make sure she knew she had a friend in me, if she wanted, since we're the only girls in the family.
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We're great friends now, and since they got engaged three months ago, I've been helping with wedding planning and was asked to be a bridesmaid. We went dress shopping today and had a blast. We went to brunch, had some mimosas, found the dress, and went back to their house to celebrate.
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My mom would find excuses. There was a train. I got caught up. I had to let the dogs out. Your horses needed water. Like, shit happens.
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I ended up alone in the kitchen with my brother-in-law a bit after being there, and he said he just had to tell me something before it kept eating at him. I was a little buzzed and confused, but not at all expecting him to say what he did. Quote, I completely froze and just shook my head.
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I told him that no, I have never thought about him in any way other than a friend and a brother and I never would. Before he said anything else, I bolted back to his fiance and the other girls there and very discreetly told her I got my period and wasn't feeling well. and would have someone come and get me and then come by soon for some more wedding planning.
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She thought nothing of it and I called my best friend to come get me. She dropped me off at home. My husband is working right now and there is no question that I'm going to tell him as soon as he gets home, but I just have no idea where to go from there. Do I tell his fiance? Do I make him tell her? Do I leave it? Do I have my husband talk to him?
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But not on this day, but in the same breath. And maybe this is a me problem, and I should work on this. But I would still call her and be like, hey, are you going to be here soon? Like, I would have communicated immediately.
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Has anyone ever had something like this happen or have any advice? Anything is appreciated.
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If this were me, I think you tell your husband and you kind of go from there. He knows his brother best. You have the conversation. I mean, you hope their relationship is good. They have a lot of trust and they can communicate well. But like, I think really like you don't know how to proceed until you start there. I think the fiance definitely deserves to know that.
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But I think you kind of let your husband guide the reaction because it is his brother. Unless his way to handle it is never saying anything. Because I don't think that's necessarily right.
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granted it is her wedding day she's busy she shouldn't have to herd cats and tell people when and where to get there it's like you're an adult get there but i know for me personally i would have given them a heads up and been like hey we got to start soon if you're not here because well but the thing knowing you too and it it takes it makes it really personal but
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Well, that's what's interesting because it's like he engaged, he got engaged a couple months ago. But like, if you're in love with your brother's wife, why are you proposing? Yeah.
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It's literally the dream to have a good relationship with your brother-in-law. And then he picks a great girl, follows in love with like a really good one. And you become really good friends to the point you get asked to be a bridesmaid. That's the dream.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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I'm there before getting there, I think. Like, I always talked about those videos I would see with that interstellar sound and they're like, no, screaming outside the window, watching them, like, do something, right? And a lot of the ones I've seen are just, like, wedding planning where they're like... Wedding planning together.
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But is OP the asshole for doing this? No. No. The invitation said to. Invitation said to mom was there helping, you know, OP get ready, said, Hey, I'll be right back. I gotta go change. So that was noon, 20 minutes each way. Mom had what an hour and a half hour and 20 minutes to get ready. Yeah.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And it's not necessarily right, but it's better that those feelings or questions or thoughts come out before a wedding, right?
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And they were running behind on top of that. So she had more time. So it really is on the mom. And this is a tough lesson to learn. I'm sad that grandma, you know, got caught in the crossfire.
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But it is one of those tough love lessons. And I don't think OP is the asshole.
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Exactly. And the way this went down, it's not great, but it is what it is, right? And maybe these two people are happier and better for it. But I went on a friend's birthday trip a couple of years ago. One of the girls on the trip at the club met a guy she really liked. Turns out he was on a bachelor trip. He was the groom and him and his fiance at the time had agreed.
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They got free passes on their trips and meeting this friend, this girl I know, like he was just like, fuck, I'm only getting married because I have to. And he went back and called off the wedding. His family was absolutely devastated. They'd been together forever.
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No. And their family was really tied. They had dated forever. It felt like the obligatory, obligatory, whatever next steps. And they, he felt that way. And then when they broke up, like, I think it came out, she felt that way. I don't, I don't remember it. I don't want to, I don't want to speculate too much.
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Maybe, but like, I mean, it was bad when she went up there and met the family for the first time, they screamed at her, called her a whore. Like it wasn't good.
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They saw her grow up. But at the end of the day, was that really bad? Yeah. Would I recommend people find out they don't want to marry someone that way? No. But she didn't deserve to be with someone who didn't truly love her and likely would have cheated down the line.
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If he was so unhappy. So at least she found out pre-marriage versus married kids. Yeah. It's best to find out before the wedding. Before the wedding. And now these two get a chance to work on it. And I don't think, you know, some people do, but I don't think most people propose because they feel like they need to. Like, I do think he's got feelings for her.
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And it's not just like, I gotta, you know, be at this stage in my life. My little brother got married. I should get married too.
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There is another final update from OP on this one. It's a little long and it just kind of goes into details about how brother-in-law has since explained some of his feelings as he understood so far, thanks to a lot of introspection and therapy. So he's going to therapy. He's putting in the work. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
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To sum it up, he very sincerely apologized to me for the position he put us both in and the betrayal of our relationship. After a couple of therapy sessions, talking through the root of his feelings, he realized how terrified of change he was, even when it was good. And frankly, his fear of a failed marriage.
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He was older and understood so much more of his parents' divorce than my husband, and he didn't realize how much that had impacted him because he pushed it down.
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No, no, no. Sorry. We do get there. I know. I was pausing to read. It goes on to say when he found his fiance, he truly fell in love with her. And we all knew it by the way he acted. I mean, this guy is usually stubborn and stoic, but he just melted for her. He changed so many habits for the better, for his sake and for his future.
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Nobody questioned if he loved her and he was so excited to propose, albeit he knew he was nervous for the life change. When we went out dress shopping and came back, a little tipsy and excited, she gushed to him about wedding details and ideas, and he got overwhelmed. So he did a couple of shots.
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And when I came in, as a person he had come to for comfort or advice, on more than one occasion, he just exploded and said what he said. He had so many thoughts running through his head, and I can't say that I'm mad at him for what happened when I got engaged, no matter how much I love my husband and how great our marriage is now.
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I have to admit, I had a few late-night musings about what life would be like married because it should not be taken lightly. He was so genuine in his apology and ashamed of his thoughts and actions, he was damn near in tears. So it goes on a little bit, but it'll be linked if you guys really want to read this and all of Opie's comments and things like that.
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But it seems like he's on the right track. And, you know, parents, bad divorce. Like we all can get a little twisted up from childhood trauma. So, yeah. Is it weird? Yes. Are you still on board? I know you have some thoughts.
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Correct. It is not the asshole. Top comment, definitely not the asshole. If she could receive a text, she could send a text. It's not up to the bride or groom to keep track of family on their wedding day. That's true.
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I wonder, and this is where I need some psychologists to chime in, I wonder if this is like a weird projection in some way or a self-sabotage or... You know, when you just feel like conflicted and feelings to where it's like I have so much anxiety, but I can't rationalize what it's about.
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So like I did this or I'm trying to like find an example because I feel like I can see it in my brain, but I can't say it where it's like, oh, I'm lonely. I'm lonely. But instead of connecting with people or maybe making a friend or joining a club, I'm going to get a puppy that I can't take care of because I'm lonely.
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Even though I know it's not what I need or it's not the right answer, I'm going to do this because it feels like a Band-Aid. And I don't really know how telling your brother's wife...
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that you have feelings for them is a band-aid i'm curious what would have happened if our op wasn't in love with their husband and was you know maybe a bad person but i just wonder if like he's so twisted up in his head that he mistakes the friendship as feelings. And I think this is really interesting. I have a guest coming up soon who has a psychology podcast.
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And I just watched a video from her the other day that was analyzing a study that was done about men versus women and how they perceive friendships. So this study brought in a bunch of men and women who were friends and they interviewed them separately. And when they asked the women, like, are you interested in him? The women would be like, no, you know, not really interested.
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If you ask the men, are you interested in him, in her? The men would respond like, yeah, yeah. You know, if there's a shot, like I totally go for it. I do like my friend. even though the female like didn't feel that way. So it was interesting that like in the men's brains, they, they perceived more of like that line to cross. And I'm probably butchering this. Um, she will be on soon.
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That said, it is curious that no one, no other family members, no other member of the wedding party, no wedding planner, etc., made an attempt to find out where the mother of the bride was when she didn't show up. Was it a tiny ceremony? No. And that's what I kind of mean.
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I'm really excited for her, but it was just an interesting study. And so maybe he's perceiving this friendship as like intimacy because, and again, it's going back to this thing with like the loneliness epidemic for men that I keep talking about. Men don't have typically a lot of super intense, intimate, emotionally vulnerable relationships. Obviously men, maybe that's not the rule.
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Maybe, maybe I'm talking about the exception or maybe, you know, that's the exception and not the rule, whatever it is. But like, I think why men are more likely to hurt themselves or, you know, whatever, like it's because they don't talk and they don't have those close relationships. So maybe her coming in, she wanted a brother. She wanted that close relationship.
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She wanted that camaraderie, that intimacy. He perceived that as affection, as feelings. Could be. I think that happens quite a bit. And that's why that study comes about. It's like women are just trying to be friends, but guys don't necessarily know that because they don't have that relationship with their friends.
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Like for me, I would have just called because I think even if someone does this routinely, I would be worried they got in a car accident. I would be worried they're in a ditch somewhere. Like my head jumps there.
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Can we talk about, because we have not given her enough credit or any credit, the fiance, what a strong, secure woman is.
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I think it's just like security in yourself, knowing you're enough, knowing that, hey, if it doesn't work out with him, that's fine because I know what I'm deserving of. I know what I'm worth. And I think to be able to say, hey, I still obviously want to be friends. And if we do get married down the road, I still want you as a bridesmaid.
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After this info comes out, after this happens, I mean, she's amazing. And their relationship, their honesty, their community, I mean, this whole group, like, they're really, they're working through it. But she...
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She's an amazing person because how many people, how many stories have we read over the years that this, you know, sister-in-law, potential sister-in-law, fiance would have been like, fuck you. You're not going to be around me. You're not going to be around my husband. Actually, you're not coming to our wedding. You're uninvited. You're a temptation. It could have easily gone that way.
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So this person is very secure and knows their worth. And regardless of how it ends, Everyone's going to find their people and be happy.
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And if you did just, God forbid, go on with your ceremony and then find out after that they got seriously hurt or needed help or, you know, something really like a really good reason actually did hold them up. Yeah. You'd feel bad.
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I love you. You little cutie over there. I know you're tired. I got one more short and sweet one to top us off here.
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I know. You guys, it's like 2 a.m. right now. We've done a full week of work and we are burning the candles at both ends. We love you and we got to deliver. So this is coming again from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit.
Two Hot Takes
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It is titled, close family friend gifted showerhead for my wedding. Should I gift them a picture frame for their anniversary?
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So sometimes women or people with clits use shower heads to masturbate.
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Okay, okay, sorry, I detract. When I got married, a close family friend was really upset that I decided to only have my nieces at the wedding, excluding other children. They were quite rude about it, but eventually they accepted that it was going to be a child-free event. On my wedding website, I mentioned that we didn't want gifts and instead preferred contributions to our honeymoon fund.
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Every single guest either gave us a check or sent money with a card. Except this friend. They gave us a showerhead. While it wasn't a cheap one, it was odd. Especially considering they work in that industry. So it likely didn't cost them much. Or anything. That was me. My husband found it particularly strange given how much of a fuss they made about their daughter not being invited.
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Fast forward to now. They're celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and are essentially throwing another wedding. She's asked for my help several times because she liked how my wedding turned out. So I've assisted with designing invitations and other details.
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In her invitation, she specifically requested cash gifts, and when we discussed it, she casually mentioned that she hadn't realized she was supposed to give us cash at our wedding and just said, quote, Oops, sorry about that. Now her event is this Saturday, and my husband suggested that instead of giving them cash, we should gift them something like a nice picture frame.
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We're about to leave for our honeymoon, so we don't have a lot of extra money to spend. Plus, they didn't give us money, so it feels fair. But I'm unsure. Would it be petty to give just a picture frame with a card? Or should we just give them $50 or something? My mom thinks it's petty and got mad at me for even considering the picture frame.
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Would I be the asshole if I gift them a picture frame and a card instead? No.
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Or they needed a couple months to save up for their honeymoon, which a lot of people do nowadays.
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Not the span of a year. It seems still within a decent, a close amount of time.
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203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So these people are having a 25th wedding anniversary, which amazing. So, so, so cool.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But they're throwing another wedding. Right. And asking for gifts. You don't. That, to me, seems tacky. You can have a wedding anniversary, a big one, and celebrate, but to ask people to give you gifts again just because you've been married for 25 years, that feels entitled.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
A lot of people have anniversary parties. Maybe I just haven't been to a lot of anniversary parties because I don't have a lot of married people in my life.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm now I'm like wondering because this is something this is maybe a generational thing. My mom sends messages to like our family in a group chat like every anniversary for my brother like and his wife. Happy anniversary. So happy you guys are are just in love and like she sends really nice messages every anniversary.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Are we supposed to reach out to people on their anniversary and congratulate them every year. Is it like a birthday thing?
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203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So I guess if they're throwing a big anniversary party, I guess they do need gifts. I guess you should get a gift.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And then the couple is standing outside screaming like, no, just a lope.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I guess I love a present. So it's like, I love a present, but I love a present.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Exactly. And here's where I have a problem, okay? She says, this other person says to our writer, OP, I didn't realize I was supposed to give you cash at your wedding. Oops, sorry about that. That's the point that you say, hey, I didn't realize here's your wedding gift. It's not too late, lady.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, well, we do have a couple comments from OP. A lot of people are accusing her of being AI, and she's like, I promise you, I'm human. Mother, grandma, and family friend are from another province. They were staying in a hotel. She planned that, not me. The buns were not needed until 5 p.m. They were at a bakery 15 minutes away.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And then she still expects... OP to bring her a gift? That's cash? No, no, no, no, no. You didn't get me cash. I don't get you cash. Honestly.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Why was that my thought? Why was my thought to give them a shower head or a bath related item? You guys gave us a shower head. We got you a bath thing. An intimacy package for the tub. You know, I got to spice it up after 25 years.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's like me getting you a fucking Barney costume for a holiday. You don't like Barney. You'd never dress up as Barney. Like everyone needs a shower head.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But like also at the same time, like what if it doesn't match their finishes in their bathroom? What if it's a chrome shower head or a brass shower head and they have silver? True, true. It's just stupid. And it was very intentful because they didn't get their way about having someone invited. It's tacky. They were tacky. I wouldn't get them a gift of monetary value.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I would meet them at the level they met you at, especially given they work in the shower bath industry. And they likely got that for free as like a sample so he could promote their company or sell the product.
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203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Because... Honestly, our writer's really nice to help her plan her anniversary after the drama.
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But the thing is, for her to bring it up, whether it's been six months or a year, and for her to say, I didn't realize we were supposed to give you cash. Oops, sorry about that. She might not have even been thinking about it, but it definitely means... She knew what she did. It seems intentional. Because if you did it on accident, you wouldn't think twice about it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So, you know, mom could have skipped the buns, gone to the ceremony, and then, you know.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She knows what she did. She gave you the shower head on purpose as a fuck you gift. And...
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203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's an interesting dynamic. OP does have some comments. Top comment, though, on this one. Frame a picture of the showerhead. OP responds, haha, that would be awesome. Do it, says the next comment. But first, check the cost of the showerhead and buy a cheap frame accordingly. Thing is, they got that shower head for free. If they're in the industry, they got it for free.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Also, who the fuck wants a shower head for a wedding gift?
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Here nor there. Also, maybe someone else should have planned to get the buns and not mom. Like, again, like, there's strategic ways to, like, out plan for the worst case scenarios. But again, she's an adult. She should have gotten her ass there. Still haven't spoken to her since she left to go back home. I stopped caring for her after my wedding.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I would just give it back. Like, I would literally just give it back. Like, here, take it. Take it.
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So Opie does highlight some context about the relationship. They are very close family friends. And while I was disappointed with the gift they chose for my wedding, it doesn't change how I feel about them. It's just frustrating that they didn't put in much effort. And now it feels unfair. I'm torn because on one hand, I feel slighted.
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But on the other hand, I'm not sure if it's worth being petty given how close we are. OP got downvoted. Negative 28. Negative 28. Negative 28. And one last comment I'll read from OP. Thanks everyone for your feedback. I want to clarify that we're not wealthy by any means. We didn't ask for contributions to our honeymoon fund as a requirement.
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We made it clear that just having our guests attend our wedding was gift enough. However, for those who wanted to give a gift, we suggested they could contribute to our honeymoon fund instead. I know I don't need to explain myself, but I want to emphasize that going on a trip with my husband is only possible because of the wedding gifts. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to afford it.
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We thought it would be nice to have the chance to take a special trip we wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. On that note, the couple in question are older, close friends of my parents, and financially well off. It was intentional. No! No! No! which I was already planning to do. Initially, I thought a picture frame would be a nice gift until I learned they requested cash on their invite.
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My mom suggested that a picture frame might seem inappropriate, which made me second guess my choice. For me, it was more about the principle, especially considering the fact that they were upset about them bringing their daughter to the wedding. Now they're asking for a lot of help with their party. I could easily say no, but they're my parents' best friend and I truly want to avoid the drama.
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I think you can. Well, it depends on how much money you're giving them. If you're giving them 20 bucks, whatever. If you're giving them anything more than $50, I'm upset with you. I myself am going through a people pleasing kill off and I get where you're at. Get where you're at. You want to keep the peace this whole episode. You want to keep the peace, avoid the drama.
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But the thing is, when people show you disrespect, you don't need to meet them with respect. She knows what she did. She acknowledged what she did and she still didn't make it right. And she's also making you be a party planner for free. No. No. This is giving me ulcers. This is giving me ulcers.
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And I'm starting to question like, you know, I wanted all of these things. I wanted the camel. I wanted a Ferris wheel. I wanted all of these things. But when you start really like planning and looking into it and making your guest list and I'm I'm to the point now where I'm like, I don't know if I want any of it. And I'm getting to a point where I really need to decide. We need to decide.
Two Hot Takes
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I know. I'm stressed for you, and you don't deserve this, but it'll be fine. Don't sweat the small stuff, right?
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I know. That all being said, where do you fall? A lope or wedding? We got to get back to our wedding planner. We got to get back to people. Are you any closer to a decision? No.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Can you imagine if I put it to a poll and like whatever people decided is what we do?
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I know, but I'm just so stressed. I'm indecisive. I don't know. Is eloping underrated? Are weddings overrated?
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I know. I just need to see some comments from you guys. Tell me your wedding happy stories. Tell me your wedding horror stories. I just need to see it all and hope it helps me make a decision because I'm getting to crunch time. We're getting to crunch time and it's going to be It's going to be a lot. But thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode.
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203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, it is peculiar because there's one last comment from OP. Haven't spoken to my mom since then. She reached out once to remind me the anniversary of the death of my dog. Nothing else. So it sounds like mom's not really apologizing. OP shouldn't have to apologize. They're at this awkward stalemate and it's just a bad situation.
Two Hot Takes
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I've got more wedding stories from this theme that I'm going to get into with Lauren, as well as some other ones. Justin and I had a really good Patreon bonus episode. So many good stuff. So head over to Patreon if you want more of this and some other bonus content. But otherwise, thank you for being here. Another week.
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The road to 250. No, it's another goal. But we've got a big announcement coming early March. I'm just like sitting here still like pinch me. So thank you guys so much. And until next time.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, it is interesting. But moving along. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for refusing to label my wedding cake as vegan because a guest felt tricked?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
My husband, 32 male, and I, 30 female, had a vegan wedding because we're both vegan. We made it clear in advance that the food and cake would be plant-based, and no one complained until the reception. The cake was gorgeous, three tiers decorated with edible flowers. Towards the end of the night, one of my husband's aunts, Linda, came up to me looking visibly upset.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She said it was disrespectful to have a vegan cake on display because it felt like I was, quote, pushing my lifestyle on everyone. I told her the cake wasn't meant to make a statement, it was just the dessert we chose for our wedding. She insisted I either move the cake off the main table or add a sign saying it was vegan so people weren't tricked into eating it. I refused because 1.
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It was my wedding, 2. It's a cake, not propaganda, and 3. No one else seemed to care. Linda ended up storming out, and now my in-laws are saying I should have compromised to avoid drama. I think Linda's reaction was ridiculous, but my husband thinks I could have just put up a sign to keep the peace. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
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Wait, I wonder if Linda thinks the cake was the only vegan thing. Because why isn't she also bitching about the food?
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This is so embarrassing. I just talked about it on an episode I just recorded with Lauren. I ordered from this one place called like Veggie Grill, not realizing it was vegan. And I ordered a chicken wrap. It wasn't chicken. So I honestly think Linda could have gotten like, like a bean patty slider and been like, oh my God, it's a burger. Like Linda probably doesn't know.
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Well, I think that's like the in-laws, which like also Linda's an aunt. I mean, it's not, you know, your mother-in-law or father-in-law. I don't get why they're not like, oh, that's just Linda. Like, let Linda stomp around and be dramatic. Like, who cares? Why?
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211: Workplace Hazards..
Okay. Are you ready? I don't know. You got this. You just went on Father Knows Something across the studio here. I know, across the way. Across the way. We can see it in our vision. You did really good on Father Knows. You think so? Yeah, he was a little off the rails. He was clearly excited you were there. Okay. He was a little hard to reign in.
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I mean, that might be jumping from A to Z. Like that might be really assuming the worst.
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We had fancy titles. Very cute. Yeah, I do miss that Lululemon discount. If anyone wants to send me some smooth coverage leggings at their employee discount, let me know. I'll send you a Venmo. They're so good. That's like the best pair of leggings I've got right now. And I accidentally wore them when I was feeding the horse and they're... No way.
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I know. It's giving that movie. It's with Beyonce. She's like the main girl. But she ends up marrying this guy. They like she was his assistant or something. She has a baby. So then she's at home with the baby and he gets a new assistant at work. And this assistant is obsessed with him and starts making it look like she's having an affair with him. But he's like, whoa, whoa, this lady's crazy.
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i just am surprised that i haven't seen or heard of this movie what i mean i've i feel i've seen it's a 2009 horror romance movie one hour and 48 minutes long how did i miss this it's a really good movie all right i know what i'm doing tonight beyonce's got a fight scene in it wow she's a little boss ass actress Yeah. There are a couple more comments on this.
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Someone responds to OP and goes, honestly, I'd have said the same thing. Her crying and acting like a little victim is proof in the pudding. What a manipulator. I'm gonna go peek at OP's account, see if we got an update or anything else after this. No update. No update. Ooh, we got some tea, though. What? Let's hear it. One of my coworkers has already reported her for workplace harassment.
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Oh, my God. Apparently, my coworker revealed that her brother is a hotshot lawyer somewhere, and my problematic coworker has been incessantly asking her if she could help set the two of them up. Made my coworker super uncomfy to the point that she had to talk with HR about it already. And they were friends in the beginning, too.
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Only took less than half a year of her closest friend to turn against her. You get the picture. Yeah.
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No update. But OP is going to go to HR just to be preemptive and, you know, report the conversation just in case that this coworker wants to lash out and be vindictive. So that is somewhat smart.
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So, yeah, there are some people that like say they go to college to get that. Yeah, that's what I just heard of that. That's why I was like, oh, and then there's one other saying to like for some colleges like ring by spring. Oh, yep. Yeah. Which, speaking of rings, I just have to give a shout out to Maggie, Olivine and Ivory. I did this custom ring with her.
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I've been obsessed with like auction websites, eBay, everything but the house, live auctioneers, you name it. I love auction websites. So I got this loose stone and made like more of a daily ring to wear that's like A little more dainty and low profile. And she's amazing. She she made me a horse pin of my pony and gave it to me at the live show in Chicago.
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This was so sad. I think they were brand new. They were brand new and literally my favorite pair of leggings. Like they were the best fit. They had the best pockets, the best material. You handled it so well.
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So you did a great job. You did an amazing job. Thank you both. Okay, moving along to this next one, number two here. This is also a bit vintage. It's coming from Am I the Asshole? It is three years old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole? Telling my husband's nurse that she doesn't get to dictate who is and isn't allowed in my home. My husband, male 36, has been in the hospital for weeks.
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He just got discharged, but he needs home care. We got him a nurse to be able to monitor his medical devices. His nurse comes over to handle stuff like catheter and cannula insertions and medication intake. I've noticed that she's been acting a bit rude and overstepping by trying to tell me when to enter my bedroom, where my husband's staying, or when the kids get to come in.
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I already told her how I felt about her attitude, and she claimed that she was just doing her job making sure my husband is getting enough rest. Yesterday, my parents came over to visit my husband since they had been planning to come for a while but couldn't find the time. I opened the door for them and led them towards the bedroom.
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The minute we walked in, the nurse started redirecting us outside. I was confused. I asked what the fuck she was doing, and she told me she was in the middle of removing my husband's catheter, and this wasn't a good time for a visit. I nearly laughed, but she forced us out and shut the door. I was fuming. I had my parents go into the living room, then came back and started arguing with her.
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and there was a couple there was an audience we had an audience there was literally like a lady pushing a stroller with her husband and i tripped on a crack uneven pavement in my roller blades went down and i just heard i just hear her go like a full gasp and i'm like i'm fine
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She told me that my husband was in a vulnerable state and needed privacy, and she, as his nurse, simply provided to him and had my visitors go wait outside. I told her that this is my home, my bedroom, and those were my parents coming over to see my husband and check in on him. So they were his visitors as well.
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She told me it wasn't the right time for a visit, but I told her she's in my home and she was overstepping by trying to dictate who is who. and who isn't allowed in to see my husband. I told her I would report her for this attitude, and she kept saying that she was just trying to do her job and told me to go ask my husband about how he felt about having people see him in such a state.
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I asked her to leave. Then, after my parents were done with their visit, I tried to talk to my husband. He told me that he did feel like his privacy was violated and that I was being too harsh on the nurse. I told him that my parents were worried sick and wanted to see him. He said this wasn't the right time and basically backed the nurse up.
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We got into an argument over this, and then he told me to let it go and let the nurse do her job. But I said that she keeps acting aggressively and like I was some outsider in my own home. Am I the asshole in this situation or is she really overstepping? You're the asshole. You are the biggest asshole. You have a stranger that's advocating for your husband more than you. Yep.
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She's just trying to do her job. Provide necessary medical care. Give her patient dignity, respect, quality care. Ensure he is getting rest to recover.
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I don't understand why she's being like, oh, well, he was just getting his catheter removed. Let's talk about that. Your husband probably has nothing covering him. He is getting a tube pulled out of the tip of his penis. And you want to bring in-laws in there? This is not a little show pony. This is someone who was in the hospital for weeks. Something very serious happened.
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And now he's home with a home nurse to manage medical devices, cannulas, catheters. This is a big deal. And you're letting the kids run in and bounce all over him and in-laws come in. The only one fighting for him is the nurse and then you're threatening her. Yeah. Trying to threaten her job. Be like, I'm going to report you. You're acting aggressive towards me. Ma'am, you sound crazy. Yeah.
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Why are you asking us? Why are you trying to come to Reddit and get more reassurance when the person who matters most?
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No comments, no updates, nothing from OP. It could have been even simple, too, as like, okay, mom and dad, let me go in first, make sure he's decent. I know the nurse is here. And then you go in, you say, hey, are you up for visitors right now? Mm-hmm. Give him a sense of autonomy. Right.
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go through it as well but this is the acute stage this is very early on and he's on bed rest he's been in a hospital for weeks like you lose a sense of autonomy and personal choice and so being able to give him that in little things like hey can the kids come in right hey how you feeling do you need rest or can we watch a movie can we can we chat like just asking versus assuming and
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thank God this person is so good at their job. And I feel bad because like going into work and like being threatened, no matter what it is, like encountering a Karen, because that's how this woman's acting. She's, she's acting like a Karen. Yeah. And like, you see it so much on TikTok of like people recording interactions, whether it's like KFC or McDonald's.
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And it's like, you didn't give me the sauce in my fucking fry. Like, These people are just trying to do their job. Like they don't deserve to be harassed or recorded or like you're being unhinged. Overall vote on this one, though. Mm-hmm. Top comment. Mm-hmm. and you're acting like it was some huge inconvenience and waited ages. It was a few minutes, so chill. Your folks will understand.
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She may be being abrupt with what she's doing, or she may be having to be forceful because you're not listening. If the nurse says, quote, now isn't a good time for the kids slash whoever to visit, don't say, whatever, this is my home. Listen to her. It's not just your bedroom. It's his convalescence room too. He needs time, space, and privacy.
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And a good nurse will ensure he gets those things, even if a wife is being a little too entitled. And if your husband agrees with her, then why are you even asking? Yeah. You're the asshole. Exactly. The nurse is being the bad guy so your husband doesn't have to. Any half-decent nurse will take the fall by throwing out anyone the patient doesn't want to see. You're the asshole, OP.
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No chance. That's very wishful. I know. I know. Maybe we could post a poll on this. Do you think wife got the message and apologized or what?
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I know. Well, wishful thinking. Maybe, you know, three years later, maybe we'll get an update. Maybe the husband will hear this story and he'll come back and chime in and say, God, yeah, my wife was terrible. That nurse did a great job. And now me and the nurse are married. Just kidding. Weirder things have happened. So never say never. But on to the next one. This next one.
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It was back when I was like, I didn't have any money. I'm like, buying expensive Lululemon leggings? Like, that was a feat. You're like, this is on credit. Literally. My life was on my credit card. I financed a lot back then. But work is so fun. Like, I do miss being a server. I still look back at my days serving at Perkins Family Restaurant, basically like a Denny's or an IHOP. Like,
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This is coming from Am I the Asshole? Six months old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for bringing my degree into work to prove that I graduated? Seems legit. I'll try not to make this too long. I, 32 male, work in an office where everyone has at least a bachelor's degree. This is relevant.
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Most of my coworkers have their degrees framed on the walls of their office, and some also have pictures of them at their graduations. In fact, I think I'm the only one that doesn't. I'd rather decorate my walls with pictures of my wife and me on trips we've taken.
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I also didn't even attend my college graduation, not much for ceremonies, so I don't have any cap and gown pictures, which has never bothered me. Recently, a coworker, we'll call him John, started suggesting I didn't actually go to college and lied to get the job. The accusation was so ridiculous that I basically ignored it, but that just seemed to convince him even more.
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He started saying dumb stuff like, quote, must be nice to have gotten this job without doing any real work. I wish I could have gotten this job without student loans. And if you'd gone to college like the rest of us, you'd understand.
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I tried ignoring him, thinking he probably just wanted to start drama, but eventually I could sense our other co-workers beginning to think John might be right since I wasn't really disputing it. I figured I'd bring in my damn degree and put an end to it. Now, here's the thing. I did well in school, enough that I graduated with a first-class honors, which my diploma says.
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I've never mentioned this to anyone at work because it didn't feel that important. The degree itself is what matters. However, when I brought my diploma in, my coworkers really focused on the first-class honors thing. I kind of became the hotshot of the office that day. I love this. Which was weird. My boss insisted I add it to my wall, saying it looked great for the company.
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My coworkers then began teasing John about the whole thing, pointing out that his degree doesn't say anything about honors and saying it was a dumb accusation. Now John is pissed off and calling me an asshole. How? Saying I made him look bad with the whole honors thing and saying I could have found some other way to prove I graduated without bringing in the degree. Eat dirt.
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So am I the asshole for bringing my diploma into work to prove I graduated and therefore making John look bad? Not even slightly. No, but this is such a like, I don't even know if this would qualify as petty revenge. It's just like, hey, it's like you've been on my ass accusing me. I didn't graduate saying I'm I wouldn't understand. And oh, I wish I didn't have student loans. And like.
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It's a really good little. What was his name? John. John. John messed with the bull and he got the horns. Mm hmm. Yeah. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. John stuck his foot in his mouth. Leave it there. Be proud of your accomplishments. Don't downplay your accomplishments for people that want you to seem small. Hang it on the wall. Hell yeah.
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That's my favorite job I've had, I think, to this date. It was so good. You were a very good server. I was a great server. I loved serving. Still, I'm missing OT lately, too. I'm really having an itch to do something at a little hobby job. My grandma was in the hospital this weekend, and the care that she got, I'm just like, this is fucking ridiculous.
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You made me look bad. Crazy work. Crazy work. I mean, he could have just like asked or I don't know. Like, it was just so weird. Like, what a weird thing to like assume a coworker didn't graduate college. And also, why do you care if they did or didn't?
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Like, nowadays, and surely not, like, have you seen, like, on TikTok, people will be like, I was trying to apply for jobs, and this one wanted five years of experience, paid this, and was basically entry-level. And it's like, it's entry-level. Yeah. You shouldn't need five years of experience. Like, You shouldn't even need a college degree for it. They were basically saying, but college is a scam.
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I think it depends on what you're going for. It does. And it's hard because I think college has become kind of like a bare minimum now in a lot of cases, but... I really like the trades like plumbing, electrician, welding, like college was so pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed. And the trades are so needed. And now there's such a like short supply of like electricians, plumbers.
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Because it's a work episode. We're trying to be professional and put together and we're not. We just need to drink more wine.
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Yeah, we had him. Hey, girl, you come take over the show with me. And me, you, Justin will be a rotating revolving door.
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So I'm like, I just want to get back in healthcare again and, like, just advocate for people. I'm like, I just want to be a healthcare advocate. Like, how can I sign up for that role? And, like, it's on Tuesdays because Tuesdays are my good days.
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Hey, no nerves on this next one. This is story number four. It's going to be, it's a good one. Coming from am I the asshole? Two years old. Titled, am I the asshole for singling out my boyfriend who never tips the server at a restaurant? My boyfriend, 40 male, myself, and three other friends went out to dinner a few days ago for some burgers and alcohol. We had a great time.
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Service was great and the experience was very enjoyable. It was time for us to pay our bills. All of us paid separate checks. When we were all getting our credit cards out to pay, I said out loud to everyone, just simply as a conversation, quote, make sure to tip our waitress. She was amazing. Don't be that type of person who doesn't tip. Come on, guys.
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Not going to lie, I gave my boyfriend a blank stare when I said it. My boyfriend never tips. He is one of those people where he only wants to pay what is on the bill. No more. No less. Well, you can't pay less, you bitch.
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I have had conversations in the past with him explaining to him on the etiquette of tipping your waitress, since they only make $1.37 an hour where we live, and they literally rely on tips. But he does not care. Anyways, back to the restaurant.
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None of our friends caught I was looking at my boyfriend because they were all focused on grabbing their credit cards and they simply did not know that he is not a tipper. As usual, my boyfriend did not tip the waitress, but myself and everyone else did. We said goodbye to our friends and went home. My boyfriend and I took the same car home. He brought up the situation to me in the car.
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He said, quote, I apologized immediately since he did not sound very thrilled based off the tone of his voice. I express my concern, once again, on how I felt about him never tipping. As usual, he tells me how he literally does not care about tipping and never will anytime soon. The topic changed from there. I've been thinking about this situation all week.
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Am I the asshole for doing this, or do you think everyone sucks here? How long have they been together?
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There's a quote and I, I'm usually like, it's a quote, but it's so unlike me to even say, but it's like, if you're broke, just say it. Like, have you heard that? Like, if you're broke, just say it. I don't know where it came from, whether it's a Bravo reality TV, but like,
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If you are not going to tip a server and you know you live in a place that tips are what count, you know, it's not like France or even France. You're supposed to tip now. It's a common misconception. We asked our server there last time.
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But if you're not in a place where you know your server's getting a livable wage or you're at a restaurant and they add a 5% surcharge to pay for health care for their servers, whatever, you should tip. And if you're not going to tip, stay home and cook your own fucking burger. And that's maybe a hot take.
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But I think if you're not going to take care and like commend good service, you should be making your own burger at home. You shouldn't go to a restaurant. When I was serving, I definitely felt that way. Go home. Go home. I would have people like I would have people like when I worked at Perkins.
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I would. I would. Maybe that's a little severance. I'd have my innie and my outie. Exactly. There we go. But I'm excited to get into this work episode. I think one thing about work is like it usually brings the drama. I don't know what it is. It's like we spend half of our life there. You're forcing a lot of different personality types in one box, in one place. And
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I forget what night of the week it was, but we had something where if you bought an adult entree, a kid's meal was free. So that's amazing. That's so great of a restaurant to offer that. And so I'd have people come in, them, their kids, they'd get the adult entrees, all the kids' meals for free, and then not leave me a tip. And it's like...
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you literally yeah i took care of like six people you guys got three meals and your kids then ate for free and you're not giving me a tip at all like you saved how much money by your kids eating free and you can't tip me a high school student struggling i just want to go buy my jeans at the buckle my bedazzled ass jeans that's why they didn't tip you they were like no more of those buckle jeans girl fuck you in those miss me jeans
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But it's just like, God, like you have people that are just like everyone's trying to eat. And I do think eating out. It's somewhat of a luxury nowadays.
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I would say so. It is expensive to eat out. And you could argue like, oh, well, these restaurants should be paying their servers more fairly. But like, honestly, if it's a small business, if it's a small restaurant, they're not making that much either.
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Especially since COVID too. Like a lot of small business restaurants shut down.
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They don't. Only on like alcohol. That's where like a lot of restaurants and bars or whatever, like that's where they make a lot of their money is alcohol. Yeah. Which makes sense. But like food wise, like look at the cost of food when you go grocery shopping. Like They're not. There's not a lot there.
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Yeah. Oh, my money at Perkins? Yeah. Actually, all of my serving jobs, I would get like zeroed out tax. Yeah, same. Because I made too much in tips.
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Yeah, I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't be able to go out to eat with him either. Yeah. Because if he was the one paying, like, I would always feel the need, like, God, I got to do the tip. Which, hey, maybe that's fair. Maybe that's the compromise. You get to pay for the meal. Yeah. But how tacky. And it's just gross. I'm trying to look at OP's account and see if they've had an update on it or...
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If I can find any more comments on the post, any more info, this is a very real Reddit account. They're part of the three-year club, verified email. And let me tell you, the whole time we've been talking, I've been sitting here scrolling. So there is a lot on this account. And I'm having a hard time getting to the bottom and even finding comments on this post.
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However, I do see that eventually they did post an update on this. However, it was removed by the moderators of Am I the Asshole? I'm going to see if somehow I can find it on another sub.
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And it can create some interesting dynamics. What's a work horror story you have? I don't know.
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Thank you. Every tip. And it wasn't that much either. No. People would drop the remaining change in the jar.
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That's really scary, actually. I know. We do have a little bit of a glimmering light here, though, after looking through what feels like 2,000 comments. OP does have something that says, I recently broke up with my ex, 40 male, due to the fact that he always goes to mommy and daddy for money. So he doesn't tip. Oh. And he's suckling at his parents' financial teat. Wow. I love how you said that.
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People are going to be like, ew. Yeah. But overall vote on this one, not the asshole. Top comment at this point in time, the US is fucking insane. Next comment down, I love Reddit posts about tipping. You'll have one lot saying, we need to tip because our servers basically have to pay their boss for the privilege of working there.
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Then you have people saying, I worked in a restaurant to pay for medical school and dropped out because I make more in tips than I could ever be in a doctor. Whoa.
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Well, and you think about it, too. Like, there's restaurants here in L.A. that, like, are kind of like known celebrity restaurants like Nobu. Mm-hmm. Or Mastro's or places like that. Manny's. I don't know. I don't really go there. Ketch. You just hear about these places. And you could have a server there that maybe makes a $1,000 tip from Jason Derulo coming in. I don't know.
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And then you have someone who's working in Gulfport, Mississippi as a server making maybe $100 an entire shift.
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what is going on with this trend? I kind of experienced it at this restaurant I served at on Lake Minnetonka, which is like this bougie place in Minnesota. It's like a bunch of millionaires live on this lake. They have hundreds of thousands of dollar worth of boats and like whatever. And I remember like,
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I grew up in Duluth like I didn't have like money growing up and I remember I got this card from one of my customers and it was like a metal card and I remember like going to like the host stand or like the Aloha we called them to like.
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check out his bill and someone was like whose card is that and i was like uh it's my table like 43 and they were like do you know how much money you have to have to have that metal card you have to spend like 500 000 a year with amex to have that card wow and i was like what the fuck and i brought him his card back and i think he tipped me like the worst sort of anyone i had
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No, you had some interesting like stories from when you were a server. Oh, like people coming in and literally like trying to get free meals. Oh, yeah.
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Okay, this next one coming from Am I the Asshole, two months old, titled, Would I be the asshole if I bought a motion-activated door chime for my office because my partner keeps scaring me? Me and my partner both work from home. During the day, I work out of a spare room and he works out of the living room. So during work hours, these two spaces essentially work as two offices.
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I will refer to the room I work in as my office for simplicity sakes, but it is not the exclusive use of that room. And there is a second bathroom that can only be accessed through this spare room. I scare extremely easily. I usually keep the door open unless one of us is on a call, but very frequently my husband will walk into the room and scare me really badly.
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Like I'll scream and jump and for a few seconds, I genuinely cannot control my reaction. Like I feel like I almost white out for a second sometimes. It scares me that bad. I don't handle it very well. A good scare will leave me shaking for a few hours after. I know I'm very weak to being scared and that it's an unreasonable reaction, but I genuinely cannot control it.
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I have some trauma in my past that contributes to this, but I'm working at it with a therapist. My partner takes a great deal of offense to my reactions. Oh. I always apologize and try to assure him it's not personal. It's just what comes out of my mouth when I'm scared. But I can tell it really bothers him. I asked him to just pause and knock before he comes in.
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But that's not really fair to make him knock and stop in his own house to enter a room that isn't exclusively for my use. The scares are bad enough that they can greatly impact my workday. I know this seems extreme, but a good scare makes me feel like my brain turns off for a while after until I get a hold of myself again.
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And I forget if it was you. It might have been Sarah, actually. Our friend Sarah, she like I can't remember if it was from when she was selling vacuum cleaners. But I'm pretty sure she like couldn't get into a bathroom or something because you guys didn't have offices. You were like driving from business to business trying to like sell a product.
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I suggested this morning, after a good scare, that maybe I should get a motion sensor door chime, like they have at shops. I could install it in the hall just before my door and put the noisemaker on my desk so that I'll hear the noise and know that he's coming. My partner thinks that that's over the top. But I want to find a solution that will work.
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Would I be the asshole if I bought a chime and set it up? No. Set up the chime?
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He keeps getting so offended when he does scare her. I feel like for me, I wouldn't want to deal with scaring my partner. It's not enjoyable for either one of us. I don't want to stress you out. I'm watching you have these bad reactions. And then it's like, oh, God, you made me feel so bad. And it's like... It's clearly not fun for this person. It's clearly from some issues.
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And they're working on it with a therapist. Yeah. Like, you would think he would be more accommodating. Yeah.
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I think this is a reasonable ask. And the fact that he's pushing back on it, kind of odd. I would make him wear like a cat bell around his neck. Or like keep the door closed when you're working and then knock. Yeah.
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I feel like she shit her pants, but I don't have any poop stories today. So you guys are safe there.
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And it's like, I know OP mentions like a weird kind of aside at the beginning of like, there is a bathroom that you can only get through in the second bedroom, but it's not the only bathroom. So why doesn't he just use the other during the workday? I don't know.
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No, he should wear a bell. Fuck it. It honestly would be hilarious. What word was I trying to say? I just said Osh. I think I was trying to say odd. Odd? But I said Osh. I think we should change odd to Osh then. Okay. Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. But why is he coming through your office so frequently? If it's for the bathroom, why can't he use the other bathroom? Thank you.
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Get a sensor. There's no good reason not to have one. And if there's no good reason for him to be walking through your workspace so often, then he's trying to undermine you. This person went directly to sabotage.
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op responds to this okay usually it's to come chat with me but it can also be to grab something since the room has storage in it he used to come through to use the bathroom when he has to go number two but i put my foot down on that because it felt so awkward for me to try to work like six feet away from where he was using the bathroom also the smell would linger for ages so now he uses the other bathroom pretty much exclusively
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why wouldn't he start with the other bathroom there's nothing there's nothing worse than hearing and i get it's natural and everyone does it but if you're in like a small combined space and you just hear the plop in the water when someone you love is pooping nearby it's not the best sound So why would he go out of his way to come poop in there and stink up her office?
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Someone replies to OP and goes, he's doing this to you on purpose. Next comment down. Yep. I have a very overreactive startle response to my husband, though. He'll call out to me before coming up to me unaware. He actively tries to minimize my stress.
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I think now that I'm on this boat of, like, he's actually doing it on purpose, finding it fun. I mean... Or getting joy out of, like, some regard of this.
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Well, and if it's going to impact her job to the point where like, what if you have a big meeting and then you get startled and you have this response that you're shaking for hours after and you literally can't facilitate a big meeting? Yeah. What if you literally lose your job because you just won't respect my space? And it's hard when you're working from home.
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Like I know a lot of people went through this because of COVID and like a lot of jobs have stayed work from home or remote. But like you do need to respect like office hours, even though it's your home. And like Kind of give a little. Yeah. Because you're both working from home. Right. So it's either door chime or door shut and you knock. Yeah. Boom.
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Was it because he was raising his hand on you? That didn't help, but that's actually not the area. Well, here we go. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. Who do I got over there?
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There is a comment here, too, highlighting this again. He's 100 percent doing it on purpose. Your best option here is that he's just an idiot who thinks it's funny to make you jump. But you should be aware that there's a possibility that he gets off on you being scared or or is using it to break down your self-esteem via gaslighting. It's your fault for being jumpy.
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How dare you act like he doesn't belong in his own home? You're clearly just dramatizing and being mean to him, etc, etc. Either way, the fact that he's angry that you're getting a chime is proof that it's deliberate. He's actually angry that he won't be able to scare you anymore. I'd bet, in real life money, that he sabotages your chime every chance he gets.
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And for the people who think I'm dramatizing, I suffer from paranoia as a symptom of bipolar, and I've encountered many people who have used it in this way, that I didn't realize were doing so until later. It's not their fault I'm jumpy, right? Except that it's obvious that scaring me when I'm paranoid makes me spiral, making me both unstable and more paranoid.
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And when you know you're paranoid, it's very easy to be persuaded that you're overreacting. You don't have to put up with it. Someone who actually loves you will do everything they can to put you at ease. My current partner has made a point of learning my indicators and adjusting his behavior to put me at ease while I'm having an episode.
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Doing things like texting me instead of coming over to speak to me, or calling me if it's urgent, checking before touching me, making a point to stomp his feet when he moves, and even calling out before entering a room I'm in Wow. Boom. I'm convinced. Me too. Let's see. Mic drop. We do have an edit. Ooh. I'm reading everything as it comes in. This is just a lot of messages, but thank you.
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Edit two. Sorry. I'm like a little overwhelmed. A lot of people are saying he's doing it on purpose and I hadn't thought of that. And I'm more than entertaining that idea. I'm going to try my best to reply to the comments. Thank you. Those curious about the Brad story, it doesn't have an interesting conclusion, but if enough people care, I will post a fact over on AskBudget. The what story?
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I don't know. OP must have another post on their account. Oh. Well, they are married. As of 21 days ago. OP did use partner. in the post but they are married because op has another post 21 days ago do i 33 female have to forgive my husband 35 male for things he said slash did during a fight hello reddit I'm currently, see, this is the problem about having a work episode.
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I want to read this story. Do it. It's not work related. Don't care. I'm currently learning about relationships and reevaluating the relationship I've been in for 14 years and could really use some outside opinions. TLDR, I came home after three weeks away to a messy house and no groceries, but I didn't criticize my husband.
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While planning meals, he made a sarcastic comment about having to cook and then shut down. When I brought it up, he dismissed me and said I do basically nothing around the house and called my struggles with disabilities excuses. I ended up crying and he later apologized, but I still feel really hurt. Do I have to forgive him? No.
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that's there's not enough there's not there is a really long post oh but i don't want to get too far off track like it's definitely it's a read okay got it but there's clearly some interesting dynamics going on here between the issue he has with the door chime now this i don't know It is interesting. Yeah.
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The other thing about Brad was a post OP made 13 years ago titled I've created an imaginary person 10 years ago and now he's become completely integral to my life. What do I do?
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I know. Again, I'm very curious. But maybe we do a deep dive on this account over on Patreon or something to keep the episode a little more tidy. Okay, okay. Yeah. I mean, OP is definitely going through it with this partner. I think you got to do the door chime and... This is work. You got to do work. You got to be able to work. And I think do the door chime. And if he gets mad, weird.
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If he tries to sabotage it, weird. On top of the other issues you might be having, you might have some answers about how to proceed forward. Yeah. Well said. Yeah. Okay. Moving along. This one might get a little heavy on us. It does include the word essay in the title. So just fair warning. I know it doesn't have to do with essay. It's about someone giving their coworker the Heimlich maneuver.
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But fair warning for everyone, just in case. I don't know. So let's get into this. This is two months old now. I've been saving it for this work theme. You don't know how many times I've wanted to read it. So this one is coming from AITAH, two months old again, titled, Am I the asshole for treating my coworker differently after she accused me of SA when I saved her life? Whoa.
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I'm a quiet guy and genuinely friendly. I treat all of my coworkers as friends. About two months ago, during a work lunch, one of my coworkers started choking. So I did the Heimlich thing to help her. After she's in the clear, the others cheered and I asked if she was all right. She just nodded and headed to the bathroom without a word. So I didn't think much about that.
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Until two days later, when I got a call into HR for my inappropriate behavior. I was confused and asked for more details. That's when they told me that my coworker had filed a complaint, stating that she felt my touch when I was helping her was inappropriate, my body was too close, and that she felt my private touching her. I gave my statement, and they put me on ice.
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I was still working with potential to be removed, while they investigated further. After a week, I was in the clear. I returned to working normally without fear, but I started distancing myself from this coworker. She tried to apologize, which I accepted, and tried to explain that she has to tell me that she has trauma, but I still take precautions and only treat her as just a colleague.
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I no longer talk to her unless absolutely needed. Always keeping distance. No longer inviting her out unless there's others. She could feel my hesitation towards her and how I no longer treat her the same as others. She tried to say that I'm being ridiculous and petty, but I told her that I'm just looking out for myself. So, am I the asshole? Whoa.
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A little spicy. A little spicy. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's two years old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for calling my coworker a nosy bitch after she kept insisting to know my husband's salary? Ooh. My husband and I, both 33, have been together since college. Over the years, he's had quite the career trajectory. He's a quant PM and makes like 10 times what I make.
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And also, that's a really, really serious... It's a very serious accusation. Yeah. Accusation to make. So... This is not good. No, I do not think the asshole. I know you have to protect yourself. Yeah.
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Ridiculous. That's wild. I mean, it seems like he's still, like, inviting her to stuff. I no longer invite her out unless there's others there. Yeah. Fair. Right. She's not being totally ostracized. And, like, hey, I imagine there were very serious signs she was definitely choking. Because, like, you don't just do a Heimlich.
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Like, there's times where I've been choking and, like, others, like, don't even step in. And I'm like, damn, I was, like, I was a little close there. Like, whatever. So it's clear like she needed it. And like others were like cheering. The co-workers were cheering. So she was probably really choking and struggling. And like this was kind of a last resort. So like good thing he did step in.
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Yeah. I think it is. And, like, she did try to apologize and say she has trauma. So, like, she was, you know, maybe really triggered from this event. But... you still have to look at it and like realize like your triggers are kind of your responsibility to deal with. And in that moment, he was acting on his best judgment as a good Samaritan. Right.
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He was trying to help, trying to save you from choking, dying. And, he acted in good faith and didn't do anything wrong. You know, it's, I don't know, fortunate he stepped in, unfortunate that it wasn't a woman stepping in. Like, would it have been the same reaction from someone else? But, like, when you give someone a Heimlich, you do, like, you have to get close. It's saving your life, though.
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It's not... No, and you're, like, picking them up against your body to, like, you use your body as leverage. Like, it is this, like, taught... Maneuver to save. Yeah. And it does involve going up behind the person basically hugging them tightly and like yeah you might feel something like you're up against someone else's body but like it's not for fun. Right. It's to save you. Right. And it did.
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Yeah. Yeah. And regardless, like, I don't even know if, like, how it was interpreted by her is, like, wrong. All he's doing now is just distancing, and that's fully within his right. Like, he is not the asshole. Of course.
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I think that's a great point to make. But I will say, like, a lot of people might not know about this. There's what we have called Good Samaritan laws. So these are laws that are in place in all states in the United States. And it's essentially like if you are trying to help someone that's in an emergency, ill, incapacitated, like whatever it is, if you try to help them,
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you are, like, safe from being prosecuted. So she doesn't have a case, and, like, HR did its job in a sense where, like, it investigated. So maybe what she did, like, wasn't necessarily the wrong course of action. Like, hey, you didn't feel great. You go to HR. Let HR decide. They investigated. They probably asked other people as witnesses in the room, like, what happened?
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And they did their job and said, hey, no one was harmed here. Yeah. And... I think now it's just like this is the dynamic going forward. It's not wrong. He's not in the wrong. And this is just kind of what you have to do. It's just an outcome of the situation. But at the end of the day, like everyone can feel rest assured that they did the right thing. Yeah.
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And I make a good salary. Ha ha. As we've grown wealthier, I've learned that people become nosier. Friends, acquaintances, relatives, you name it. In the beginning, I would entertain the nosy questions, but since I turned 30, I've adopted a take-no-shit attitude. When people ask me how much he makes, I no longer say anything.
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And they handled it how they saw fit in that moment. Yeah. It's tough with work. Like getting in trouble at work is like... No one wants to do that. Getting written up by HR, like, having HR approach you. Like, at Lululemon, I remember I had some drama with, like, one of my, like, key holders. And she, like, felt that I was, like... All these fancy names.
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Yeah, like, we have, like, fancy names for managers. And she felt like I didn't listen to her. I was always, like...
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questioning her authority and that's how she felt but for me I was like I was just asking clarifying questions but we just didn't see eye to eye like she felt I was insubordinate to her and I felt like she didn't like me so she always gave me the shit jobs so like it just wasn't a great relationship but it's like I had to like get talked to from like the upper manager.
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And I was like, I was like, what the fuck? Like, and I was like, like, at that age, I was like, I was in college. I was like, I'm scared. I don't want to get fired. I'm like, that's hard. It's really hard getting fired.
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It's a fine line at work. But top comment on this one. Has since been deleted. And it had 12,000 upvotes. I wish I know what it said. I'm curious if any accounts on Reddit have screenshots of it when it did exist. So let me see if we have any. I'm not seeing any screenshots, so I'm not sure what the top comment said.
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But in response, someone goes, if what the OP did was essay, then every single person who has saved a life by performing the Heimlich maneuver would also be guilty of essay. It's an absolutely insane situation. And that's a solid point. There's a comment here.
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And I will just say, if you ever are needing to give someone CPR... Mouth to mouth is a part of it. Like, obviously, people need oxygen. You're supposed to give breaths. However, I took a CPR class from the American Heart Association. And if you're not comfortable with doing mouth to mouth, the chest compressions are the most important thing. Highly recommend everyone take a CPR class.
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I've learned the hard way that giving an exact number can have bad consequences. My coworker, 25, is new, and she already has quite the reputation. Very chatty, catty, gossipy. You get the gist. You can just tell she craves wealth and status. She wears a bunch of flashy designer items and is always asking the ladies around the office which of the men are single.
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first aid basic training course. It's so important to have. It could literally save you a family member. It's just it's so good to know how to do basic things like apply a tourniquet or CPR, Heimlich. It's very valuable.
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that course before yeah you should do it i'd re i'd re-up mine if you want to do a class together okay i actually sew down let's do it it's not it's like literally you go in it's four hours it's really good and you can buy these little pocket masks so then you can put it on your keychain if you ever do need it and it's like good to have you just whip it out and then you have a barrier between your mouth and the other person perfect yeah really good there's a comment here with 20 000 upvotes
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You have to avoid her now. That's the answer. You weren't fired this time, but she has the power to get you fired, and you do not sacrifice yourself in this situation. That will not solve anything and only cause you harm. Someone responds to that. Big yellow box. Quite a few awards.
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I'd also suggest approaching HR about her subsequent actions and complaints that OP has taken steps back in order to maintain a professional distance.
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she doesn't get to create a hostile environment or pester slash harass OP. And my concern is that if he doesn't get ahead of this, guess what her next steps will be? That is so true. Because she could go back to HR and be like, he's discriminating against me now. That's so scary. And it's so, like, he said, she said. Yeah. This story is... Is it stressing you out? Yeah.
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And like, it's a serious topic. Yeah. Yeah. And like the comments are taking it very seriously, too. Like she falsely accused you of essay when you saved her life in front of a crowd using a widely known medical technique. I would hope your company is looking for a way to let her go because this lunatic is a massive liability to have around.
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And, hey, that comment might be a little aggressive for the words I would use. You know, she did say she has trauma. So, yeah. But, like, again, I don't agree with how she handled someone saving her life.
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I mean, it protects both people, hopefully. Like, it keeps a cordial working relationship, ensures everyone's being heard and respected. Yeah.
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Last Friday, our office hosted an afternoon happy hour. She approached me and asked me how my husband's recent vacation to Europe went. I told her it went well and briefly summarized what we did. Then the conversation went something like this. Her. So what does your husband do? Me. He works in finance. Her. Oh, wow. He must make a ton then to be taking you on all these lavish vacations.
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Yeah. We do have an edit from OP. Wow, this blew up. I'm not very active here, but I've read several comments and DMs. I won't make updates, but I have some clarification. I'm not from or at any English-speaking countries. Me and the coworker did have a talk with our colleagues nearby, and she agreed to just limited necessary contact that's related to work.
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I won't sue her because everything is resolved, and to be honest, it would just bring up more problems while wasting money. Yeah. I also received several DMs about people with similar experiences as me, which made me sad and relieved that I'm not the only one. And I also saw comments about how I'm not considering and don't understand her trauma, which is fair.
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If you've been harassed for real, then you should protect yourself. But I just hope she came to me about her uncomfortableness since we've known each other for a couple of years. That's it again. Thank you. Okay.
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I know, I'm trying to like... Wonky? You want to get wonky? Kind of. I mean, after the Heimlich. Heimlich's a serious conversation, so we might have to get a little wonky here.
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Oh, I did have like... Some interesting work things that people did respond into from Instagram because I was like, does anyone have any crazy work stories they've seen lately? And someone goes, I was like, wait, what? But someone goes, a kid chased me with a hook and my boss just told me to chill.
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I know. There's another one here from someone. A woman with a snake around her neck cornered me and screamed at me. Hmm. Someone suggested reading this one. Hair stylist has been taking slash keeping my hair. Whoa, that's wonky. Let's go find it. Okay. This is coming from true off my chest titled hair stylist has been taking slash keeping my hair. I'm weirded out.
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I'm going to be vague because obvious reasons. I'm 30s female and my stylist is 40s. I got my haircut today at a stylist I've been using for about nine months now. I think this is my sixth appointment with them. I usually do a trim or cut and style. Today, I went from long hair to high lower back to an A-line bob.
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Again, since I started seeing this person, I usually get current style or maintenance and trims. This time was a dramatic length adjustment, so they took a picture of the cut length on the floor to add to their social media, then intending to add before and after of ours too. That's all totally fine and normal.
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The bathroom is in the back of the shop too. I need to go and I step into the back. I don't really notice anything on the way into the bathroom. Besides my hair in a jar. I go and I start to head back out. But I notice my name on a small, clear tote on the table. It has no lid. And it has my hair in it.
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At first, I didn't really think much of it, but I looked closer and see it's not just today's discarded hair, but looks like at least a few of my trim sessions. Mixed with, it looks like potpourri and a little sand. Potpourri? They spelled potpourri. and a little sand or something, and printed pictures of the cut hair with dates. Oh, no. Ooh, I don't like that.
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I hope you don't mind me asking, but how much does he make in a year? Me. Yes, we're very lucky that he makes a good salary. Polite smile. Her. Oh, come on. I won't tell anyone. How much does he rake in in a year? Millions? Me, awkward chuckle. I'd rather not say, but it's up there. Her. What? He doesn't allow you to give an exact number or something? Me, visibly annoyed.
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The printer is sitting right next to it with today's discarded hair pick in the tray. There didn't seem to be any other containers like this when I looked around. It was fucking weird. So I took a picture on my phone. I honestly didn't know what to think or do and went back out into the salon.
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They came back in and I mentioned that I went to the restroom and they seemed to freak out a little bit but didn't mention it. I didn't really know what to say so I just let them finish styling my hair, paid and left. As a socially anxious introvert, this was my nightmare. I got home, and the more I looked at the picture, the more ick I got.
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I ended up texting them an hour ago, sending the picture, and requesting they remove the weird box of me and asking for an explanation. I said, quote, Hey... What? Why'd you have to put it all out there? You should have... We need answers. You should have been more sneaky about it.
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I can't drive home from this studio after this. I need an ambulance. I'm just. It feels like a voodoo jar of hair. Why is there sand? And what the fuck is potpourri? Potpourri? But it's spelled pot. They used the word P-O-T-P-O-U-R-R-I.
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You don't even have workers comp. Oh, my God. Update. It's been about a week. And with the holiday, I've been all over the place. But I ended up going to law enforcement to make a report last Monday. I'll likely end up going back if this person keeps contacting me like they have been. What? I'll give a little timeline. Last Saturday, haircut and discovered the weird tub full of my hair.
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Texted stylist about weird tub and said I'll be finding a new stylist. Hairstylist didn't respond. This is where I left off in my last post. A lot has happened since then. Sunday, I woke up to a bunch of texts from the stylist.
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Loven, rockstar, pew, pew, pew, pew. Okay, we are getting into work-related stories today. We have both had quite the assortment of jobs, and Lauren is still 40 hours a week, if not more. Her job doesn't stop. Corporate girlie, so you're in the real world still, grinding away. Pound and pavement. You're in the real world, too.
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It woke me up because even though I have do not disturb on on my phone, I have a setting that overrides that if there are repeated contact attempts over three in case of emergencies. Here's what I got, copied and pasted. 3.49am. I don't recommend going to a different stylist because of this.
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It's not a big deal, small town and people talk, and you may not find anyone that will take you after this, so I'd reconsider. I don't like threats. What? ! 3.51 a.m. So I have your biological material and it's my property now. What? I can do what I want with it. I kept it because I can and it means a lot to me. You're kidding me. 3.54 a.m. Why you send the pic? I know what it looks like.
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It's mine. 4am. You need to respond to me because I think it's a misunderstanding about what this is and it's no big deal. And you saying you're switching stylus has me triggered. I do good work. Clap emoji. You said so. 4.04am. I also charge a $350 client separation fee. So yeah, you can't just say you're switching stylists. Are you kidding me? With more consequences.
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No, I just prefer not to say. Her. Laughs in my face. You would think the stuck-up one would be the one with the money, not the one without. Wait, wait, wait. This is a co-worker saying that. Yeah. Yeah. Me. What? You should learn how to take no for an answer and when to quit being a nosy bitch. It's a valuable lesson. Then I smiled at her and walked away.
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And no, you said you already tried a few people before me, and there are not as many beauty people in the area. for 11am. Asking for an explanation for a stylist having hair in a salon is crazy. Where else would you find hair? And I didn't do anything wrong, but I will get rid of it if you are going to cry about it. But only if you say you won't be switching anyone else for your hair care.
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You mean a lot as a client and always tip well, and I do good work, so it doesn't make sense. And you know that, so maybe don't threaten someone who does your hair or hurt their heart by making accusatory statements. Oh, my God. Yeah. Most of the voicemails just said, call me back or text me back, but two of them were unhinged.
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I'm going to paraphrase, but the gist of the first one was, it sounds like they're crying. Call me back. I'm getting scared you won't come back to me for your hair. For real. I just like how your hair feels. That's why I kept it. Call me. Oh. The second unhinged message was left late Sunday night at 11.38pm and it said, I got rid of it except for one lock.
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I found out I like watching your hair burn more than I liked keeping it. Oh? I am so scared this is crazy I didn't respond to any of those messages calls or texts the whole thing had me freaked out now I'd decided by that time I was taking Monday off of work to go to the police even if they couldn't do anything I wanted to file a report of this weirdness.
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I woke up Monday to an email from the stylist with an invoice of $375 for client breach of contract fee as the chargeable line item. Again, copy and pasting here. The email body was, quote, for being a bitch.
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I have not seen it until just now. This person put it in the Instagram question I asked. This flew under the radar for me. What? This feels like I'm having heart palpitations.
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Now it's 375? You're out of your mind. No chance. I paid that today for my horses to get fresh shoes and cuts on their toes. Their hooves. I can't even imagine. Like, what is going on? To leave you as a stylist?
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I don't think it works like that. We have so many hairstylists, eyelash extension experts. We have so many salon people in the field. Like, you guys, this is your time to shine, baby. I want to hear your salon horror stories in the comments. Yes. It goes on to say, it was sent from their business email too, so they're really doing everything they can to ruin themselves.
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Even if I had a contract with this nutter, which I don't, the original amount was for $350. They can't even get their extortion fees right.
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I did email them back stating we had no contract and to cease all further communication with me from this point forward. I got ready and started heading to the police station around 9.45 Monday morning. I live in a rural area, so there are portions of my drive to and from our main town that doesn't really have cell reception. When I finally got to town, I had four voicemails.
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I knew immediately who they were from. I talked to one of the officers on staff. They took my statement, a copy of the email, asked me to forward all texts and screenshots of the numbers and of the calls. I They said, at the least, the calls and texts could be considered menacing and harassment. But the voicemail, where they mentioned how they liked burning my hair, was potentially concerning.
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Later on, I had a few co-workers reach out to me and say that she was crying and left early and that I should apologize for calling her a rude name. I refused. I told my mom and she said I was too rude to the new girl and that she's young and might not fully understand salary talk. I think she's old enough.
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The officer advised I contact a legal representative in case this person tries to take the bogus invoice to a civil suit court. And they said I'm welcome to change my number, but have the filing evidence if they continue to contact me after I explicitly told them not to in the email, and this would only help me.
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I reached out to a lawyer Tuesday and left a detailed message regarding the situation. They are apparently out of the office until next Wednesday for the holiday, so we'll see if they have any advice. I have since received many texts and calls from the stylist. They sent a happy Thanksgiving text on Thursday morning as well. Happy turkey day. What? Fucking kidding me.
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Last final update here. Which is like, I hope he calls it a mini update. I woke up to new comments and requests for updates. First, I am okay and safe for now. The person has continued to contact me on a regular basis via phone and email. I do have personal protection that I'm comfortable with. I hope it's a gun. And can wield with accuracy. It's a gun.
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But I'm nearly certain this person does not know where I live, so I don't anticipate any type of confrontation here. Our house and property has complete camera coverage as well. If anyone, anything shows up, we're well aware. I will be posting a more in-depth update with more texts and emails up to this point and regarding a specific incident that happened on Friday on Tuesday.
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have an appointment to speak with another officer, then to discuss the potential of criminal action and legal consequences for the stylist as a result. Thank you all for your concern and the validation that this is absolutely insane. I'll leave you with a text from this past week, one I think you'll all enjoy. Question? Use for a model of how not to make friends?
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Husband is fully on my side, but said maybe I should fake apologize for the sake of office politics, which I somewhat agree with. But still, am I the asshole?
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I think we have the final update. Oh no. We do. We got it. Oh, man. I didn't expect the amount of people following this. Here's a long-awaited post. The situation update may not be as satisfying as many would have hoped for, but here it goes. I met with law enforcement again this past Tuesday.
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My husband and I drove over early that morning because I was also meeting up with the lawyer I'm working with. Aside from the near-constant text calls and emails, I wanted to pursue legal action for a specific issue. Allegedly, the stylist had tried to have my credit card canceled.
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Apparently, they used the last four digits of my card, called the customer service line for the card, and tried to cancel it. I got a call from the fraud department shortly after this person attempted to do this, trying to verify everything to see if I actually wanted to close my account and dissolve my credit line with them. "'She's trying to bring down your credit score!' Yeah.
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You need to sign up for Credit Karma stat. Wow. To be clear, the stylist was not successful in their alleged attempt. They couldn't provide the basic info they needed for such things like my actual last name, it's unusual, and they gave a name that was almost similar, date of birth, address, etc.
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Apparently, they thought they could accomplish this with just my name, phone number, and the last four digits of the card. I didn't cancel the card, but did request a new one for obvious reasons. I had no clue why they would want to cancel my card. To inconvenience me? Yep, that's exactly why. Allegedly.
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When I spoke with the credit card company, they agreed to send over the recording of the person that called. No way. As well as the phone number the call originated from, as long as the request came from law enforcement with a warrant. They gave me a phone number and reference number for the police to call and reach out directly. The officer began working on that immediately. So it's in progress.
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Yeah, he's curious too. Yeah. Nice. Nice. Oh, good. Oh, good. All I can say is they are investigating. Outside of all of that information, I'm limited on any other information I can share since a legal process against this person has officially begun. We're just waiting to see how this all plays out. Thank you all for the concern, advice, and good wishes.
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This was meant to be an outlet for me to vent and process, and I'm so grateful that you have all allowed me to do that with a huge amount of support.
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So well. Yeah. I mean, it is really scary. And I would be so scared. I'd be overwhelmed. Like, you're getting stalked, harassed, bombarded with calls, emails, pay me for being a bitch. Like, it... Is overwhelming. And like, thank God the police believed her and took her seriously because sometimes that doesn't happen. Sometimes they don't really help that much. No.
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So it sounds like they were really helpful. No. And happy ending. I'm sure because OP has been so responsive and given so many updates. I'm sure after this is all resolved, we'll get another update. So we will be sure to post the link. If you want to go to their Reddit and follow the account.
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So I didn't even know this was a thing, but that's... Yeah, it sounds like she transferred her number to an old phone. Right. And then gave the police the old phone. Right. Which... Amazing. Wonderful. I didn't know that was a thing either. Me neither. And maybe it's just... Maybe it's because it was a small town or something. Yeah. And they have the resources to do it. But that's great. Fantastic.
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But, like, back to the co-worker and work aspect of this... Can you imagine if that was your coworker cutting hair next to you all day? Also, the fact that she swept up the hair and then put it on the counter in the dustpan and she was like, oh, it's normal. I'm like, no, they go in the bin right away. So odd. Not to shame. I'm not shaming OP by any means, but like I. Wow.
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It might have been a little hurtful. And I think technically, is what she's doing, like, crass? Does it lack tact? Is it distasteful? Yeah. But is she technically doing anything wrong? No. Etiquette-wise, sure, but not really otherwise. So for you to be like, you should really learn how to not be a nosy bitch. It is a little like maybe jumping the gun.
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It's crazy, too, when she like was confronted by the police that they basically said, like, I don't know. This was chargeable. What? Like I did something wrong.
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Same. This has been a really fun episode. I think it's going to continue over on Patreon because I have so I have like literally 15 other work story tabs open. And I just was peeking at my notes from people too. And someone else messaged me and goes, I found messages on my mother-in-law slash boss's computer that changed my entire view of her. It's juicy. So I just messaged her.
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I'm hoping to get that. Okay. Covering for coworker and emails to her are rude. A patient starts playing his porn video while I'm still in the room. IVF life, a personal story. I had a patient crawl out of the nurse server, attached supply closet to the room, and sprint. Oh, my God. Am I the asshole for telling my coworker I can't attend her funeral because I'm busy that day? What?
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What is that about? So we're going to we're going to have to look into this one, too. Wait, I'm going to message them back and be like, post a personal story. How does how does that work? Maybe she's... A big trend now is to host your own funeral before you die if you're terminal. Which I really like. Oh. But like... I've never heard of that. Wow.
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But I feel like that's something you should make time for. Yeah.
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211: Workplace Hazards..
A woman told me her nose starts bleeding when she sucks dick. That doesn't sound like an appropriate work conversation. My first day as a housekeeper, a massive purple dildo rolled out from under a bed. Period hot dog, someone said. I don't want to know what the period hot dog is. And I think everyone is going to be happy I don't. Osha was called onto my job because the bathroom keeps overflowing.
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So we're going to get into some work, really good ones. I'm messaging these people back. I've got quite a few little stories to read here. I'm going to message them back and gather it up for Patreon. But that's all I got for today. That's all I got, too. It was a wild ride, everyone. It was really all over the place.
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I hope your workday is going well, wherever you're at, on the job site, at a computer, in a cubicle, headphones on, blasting to the office. Cutting that hair, burning that hair. Putting those eyelashes on. at the gym, in a car, wherever you are. I hope you're enjoying your day, night, morning. I love our little bakery workers.
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I am craving a sweet treat right now, so I need to go home and eat my Starburst jelly beans that come out around Easter time. But love you all. Thank you all for being here. And until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.
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If you would have been like, hey, you know, I really would appreciate you not prying. It's not something I'm going to share.
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Please stop asking. And then if she would have pushed further after you set that boundary... Which I guess you kind of did when you were like, no, I just prefer not to say. And then she did come at you with the... You'd think the stuck-up one would be the one with money, not the one without. Basically implying... I don't know. Like, a lot of things.
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She basically meant like, you're acting stuck up, not telling me your husband's salary. You don't have any money. Your husband has the money. You would think that the wealthy guy would be the stuck up one, but instead it's you. The poor girl. That's crazy. So I guess, like, when she kind of chopped at you with that, I guess, like, nosy bitch isn't the worst thing.
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But I guess, like, for me in this situation, especially a professional setting, I wouldn't have wanted to give someone like that any power over me. Exactly. And you kind of did by, like, going low.
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I'm going to have to elevate this. Yeah. I feel like you're harassing me at this point.
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I'm in the real world, but it's the too hot take in universe, which is a little easier these days than corporate America or working at a hospital or being a server or a flight attendant or a Lululemon educator. What's a Lululemon educator? Oh, got it.
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And you should talk about how much you're making in that sense because it helps everyone get paid the same amount and get paid their worth.
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But I'm just trying to feel very judgy because you're asking because you saw a lavish vacation. Right. So it feels like judgy and like,
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very prying yeah and we're co-workers we're not even friends like if you became friends with me and we got wine we go to dinner and we're doing all these things like then maybe like i might be curious like damn lauren like i just brian making a year like that would be different it still is like it's just it's so it's just it's tacky and i i think that sometimes it can come up naturally um
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compensation without being a nosy bitch yeah seriously I I'm just like a little baffled by this I just think she has a lot of audacity and yeah it sucks that the other co-workers are now like coming to defend her and like I get it's because like what did she say here she was crying and left early Like, she made it so dramatic. Yeah. And now she's playing the victim. Now you look like the bad guy.
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And again, it's kind of like what I said, like, I wouldn't want to give someone like that. Yeah, that power. That power over me. Like, now you look like the asshole when you really shouldn't. Like, she did start as the asshole. So that kind of sucks. But where do you think the comments went on this? Asshole, not the asshole. I don't know. I feel like the comments are, I don't know.
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Overall vote on this one, not the asshole. The top comment says, I know women like her. The type to find out it's millions and then start sleazing all over your husband. Oh my God, I didn't even think about that. Not the asshole. OP responds to that and says, oh, trust me, I know exactly what you mean. I've encountered my fair share of those, too, and my new coworker is definitely one of them.
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Oh, no. Because that is another context that I forgot about in this story. I didn't even think about that. OP said here that she's constantly wearing flashy designer and is always asking the ladies around the office which of the men are single. So then it's like, wait, why are you asking me about my husband?
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Which is important because I think, you know, we preach that a lot on all of the different shows and it's very much easier said than done, especially when you're the person on the inside, when you're going through it, when you're in the bad relationship, it can be nearly impossible to even have a thought of, oh, you know, maybe there's something else out there for me, whether it's the sunken cost fallacy or...
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whatever it is in this case I'm sure that was their first relationship and it's all they'd ever known but you know maybe it's worth just trying to ask that question in your head and pose that question every once in a while. Set a reminder. Am I happy? Is this relationship fulfilling me? You know, does my partner support me? And just ask the small things instead of asking yourself, should I leave?
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Start with the small because like what I like that she did is she had the small thought and then it started to build. And then she started noticing more things and it wasn't convincing herself that she's the problem anymore. It was starting to tilt the scale towards him. So I think you have to start small and then get to the point where you can eventually convince yourself like this.
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That, yeah, this is really fucked up and I could be so much happier out there. So I think that's the hardest step is even asking the small questions, let alone trying to, you know, because so many of the stories we read, it's like divorce. And it's like, well, okay, if you're actually in that relationship.
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it it'll never work if you know if people came in and just said break up with him break up with her divorce you're instantly going to get defensive and be like no they don't know my situation yeah so it's like it has to come from within which that's the only reason she got here is because she got to the point where she wrote the post yeah it has to be from within
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And relationships can change. You should check in over time just because it's really good right now or when you first meet because it's always really good right at the start. Check in every once in a while and ask yourself those questions again because, I mean, it can go downhill fast sometimes.
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What if it's really juicy, though? Like, what if it's like, you did what? I'm going to, like, whatever.
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Sometimes you'll be with Morgan somewhere, restaurants or, yeah, restaurant. Let's use that example. You're sitting, you're having a romantic dinner, just...
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having conversation all of a sudden morgan's eyes will kind of like glaze over and she'll just start looking at you kind of like she's listening and you ask a question and she's still kind of just nodding oh my god and then you if you get quiet you can realize she's eavesdropping on someone's conversation
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Okay. Title. Should I tell my friend we have a kid together? I slept with my best friend while we were in school. We always joked about how we were friends with benefits and it was strictly just friends having fun. He didn't know at the time that I was desperately and madly in love with him. The last time we had sex, I did end up getting pregnant.
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I had our baby and put him up for adoption as we were both young and I didn't want to obligate him to me or make him take a different path in life. There are things that he had freaked out about previously when his girlfriend had a scare.
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Many years later, about six, he confessed to me that he had always loved me and that he thought he had no chance because I always said we were just friends with benefits. Anyway, I've been in contact with our son and he wants to know more of his dad. Our son knows that his dad doesn't know about him. Oh. Okay. Plot twist. There was just so many jumps. Wow. Okay.
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Like a totally different timeline. Just, you know, you don't think about little decisions making your life that different, but it literally leads to a completely different life experience overall.
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yeah I know weird to think about like one swipe on an app is what I always use as my example yeah just I mean it's kind of why we're all sitting here really no it really is so fucking crazy it's just crazy to think about the little things wow but not in a way where it makes the little where you're scared to make any little decision no because then that's not you can't be scared to live I mean you gotta live life yeah I think it's fun that it's like I could do this and then all of a sudden all these doors open I know yeah
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Could have confessed love at one point in time. Too late for that. But now we're kind of like the movie Elf. And Buddy wants to know his dad.
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So let's... Buddy! I mean, if that tears apart a family, then that family isn't very secure to begin with.
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We have an update. We have an update. Multiple updates, actually.
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Update number one. I just got off the phone with my friend. I told him everything. Apparently, he knew that I was pregnant. What? My friend had let it slip one time. He thought it was his since he knew that I was only sleeping with him. He didn't know that I had the baby, but said he was happy that there's a part of us together out in the world.
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He said he'd love to have a relationship with his son and wants to make arrangements for all of us to meet. Thank you for all of your perspective and advice. This went way better than I was expecting.
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Like there's a token of our love out there to commemorate what we had, which we were friends with benefits. It's interesting. Update number two. I'm flying out this weekend to speak with both my best friend and his wife. In particular, his wife wanted to speak with me and I thought it would be best if we did it in person. This is our first time meeting. I'll keep you updated.
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Well, backtracking just ever so slightly, the top comment probably before the update was, yes, you should tell him. Since he's already been adopted, I doubt the father has any right to get his son, but he should at least know he has one out there. Don't force it either. Tell him the situation and give him the option of reaching out to his son. He deserves the right to decide for himself.
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Well, and there's very, you know, important reasons to know. Health-wise, with all the stuff you can find out these days, might as well, unless it's a super terrible emotional situation or something. But if it's not going to cause you severe mental distress, then I think it's better, you know, to know.
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Update number three. I met with both of them and posted update in a separate post with same title.
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My talk with my best friend's wife, W, was very enlightening. I did not know so much had been shared with W from my best friend, B. W and I talked for hours, both about mine and B's past as well as the current situation. Things W was unaware of. Number one, I've been married for five years. Number two, I've known B and his mom since I was eight.
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Number three, that I practically had lived with B and his mom for eight years.
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Number four, my parents are not in the picture and his mom is the closest thing that I have to a mom.
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And number five, that I'm not his other son's biological mom like she had been led to believe.
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The last one literally had me in a spiral and there's so much to unpack there. I'm not sure why she was led to believe that, but when I asked questions about it, she said that's just what she's been told by other people and the family. After our private talk, our husbands joined us and I shared all of the whys and reasoning behind the decision that was made.
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All the vocalists use those. I've seen those forever. I love it so much.
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It's like, you know, the old fashioned boil water and then put your head over the pan with the towel. Yeah. It's like that, but much more efficient.
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Continuing, He also said that he understands why I made the decisions I made because he was not in a good place. We were not in a place where we could have raised a child and that it wasn't an environment to be in for both a child or myself. Again, I'm just so thankful that despite all the years and things we have been through, that he is able to understand the choice that was made.
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And I'm so thankful that now he is sober and in a healthy mindset. We all set some boundaries and have discussed keeping communication via text so we can all see what is being said. W and I both felt that it was not necessary for B and I to meet together with our son unless he is asked for that specifically, like if he has questions for the both of us.
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In my opinion, W is very understanding, especially after everything she learned from our conversation prior to this. W and I exchanged numbers and will remain in contact.
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I'm reading a little bit of this clarification paragraph that's in the comments. And I think what's relevant here, I think that this is from OP. I knew that no matter what, I needed to get away from the environment to make a sound choice. And I did leave as soon as I was able to. He had heard from my friend at the time talking to someone else something along the lines of, quote,
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I took it as he was in love with me back then when we were teenagers. We are both married to other people and are both happy in our own marriages and lives that we have built separately. He has one child from before his marriage and one child with his wife. He has been married for one year and I've been married for five years. He's been sober for three years now.
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It's addressed in the comments here. So one of the comments says, they quote, number five, that I'm not his other son's biological mom like she had been led to believe. And did you not ask B why? If other people in the family tell W that, then that's probably because B told them that you are the mother. Because I do not see why friends and family all would come up with the same lie.
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Definitely very strange and I would 100% talk about that. OP responds, I will definitely be getting to the bottom of it. I just felt like this wasn't the right time, especially before giving W the chance to speak to B about it first.
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Next comment. Please update when you get to the bottom of it. I'm invested.
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Rooting for the smoothest transition to your child's new life. And we don't have an update yet. But look out for it.
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I mean, the reality is you can't not do it because the mental toll not doing it is going to take on you. I know. It's going to be a lot greater than whatever it is to take him in. You're already doing a good percentage of it. But imagine going the rest of your life.
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Even if you didn't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I think the hardest part would be not knowing.
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Because you had an opportunity. You know, yes, it's not convenient. It's not like it's going to make your life a lot easier, but it's going to make it... I think you'll feel better as a person eventually. I think that outweighs everything else. Yeah. As hard as it's going to be. I mean, if we want to get very logistical about it, you could do the stipend thing, if that's a thing.
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I know, but I'm just trying to make sure it's attainable. But the other concerns, like I'm already taking on this and that. I mean, there's ways to then have both these boys start really picking up around the house and they... have certain jobs and things that they need to do to help. I mean, we're going to be one big happy, well, one little small happy family.
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So let's all do it to make it great for all of us. And there's nothing wrong with that. Kids will learn valuable things. And, you know, that's why I can do so much around the house and stuff is because that's what I did when I was young is I jumped in and helped my parents. But There's only good. I only see good coming from this.
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So in all reality, we're talking about full, really supporting for four years. Yes, you be a parent thereafter, but who knows what's in the future there? College, whatever we're looking at, it's really locking in an intense, like they're in your house. You really are responsible, responsible for four years. Four years is such a small commitment compared to what you'll be giving to him.
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Like you're literally giving Archie the rest of his life. You're building such a strong foundation saying, you go get them and then you lift them and then they fly out of the nest. Like you're, it's, you got to do it. There's no, there's no other option.
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I didn't expect for how intense that part gets though. Where you sit down and the person's there and then... Well, he doesn't know where he's going to go.
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Oh my God. You almost want to preface and be like, okay, here's the situation.
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See, imagine, I mean, I bet right when that situation happened at that table, like, I bet OP here was like, holy shit, how could I have even considered not?
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After being there and then over the next 24 hours, how he's like, comes and sits and puts his head on your shoulder. In that moment, wouldn't you just be like, why did I even... I get it. I get being logical and not burning yourself to try and help out.
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I mean, everyone has arguments, disagreements, fights. But, I mean, there are the couples that yell at each other and then they're like, have the best makeup sex and that's what they just, that's what fuels them. Is that what you guys do? No. They don't really yell.
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Well, I mean, holy shit. This is a great thing that happened. I mean... This is like, it couldn't have been better. Someone shows all of their cards and their true colors this early on. It's crazy. Thank God.
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There's just too much. I get we did the pros cons thing. There's too much in the cons. And honestly, there's certain things in the cons that no pros ever going to outweigh.
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I don't believe the prank thing. I feel like that was a last ditch effort to try and save it.
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I believe it. TikTok is crazy. It's just, I don't know. It's pathetic. It's not even worth me talking and thinking about it anymore, honestly.
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And it's not going to change. It's very convenient that he's getting all lovey dovey perfect boyfriend right when, oh, I'm being distant. Yeah.
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Okay, this is coming from Relationship Advice. Titled, I, male 35, am very unattractive and have made peace with being alone. My friends, 30s, won't give up on trying to set me up with someone. What do I do? Hey everybody, I'm hoping to get some advice on my current predicament between myself and my friends, Sam and Sarah. You see, I am very unattractive.
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I don't mean that as a put down on myself, but an objective fact about my appearance. I have a very naturally unappealing face with several body scars that make me difficult to look at for some people. I've had most of these scars most of my life, and of course, I was born with my face, so I've never been much to look at. I've tried to compensate in other aspects of life.
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I have a decent job, I'm tall, and I'm in very good shape. I go to the gym and eat well. Sadly, this is far from enough to make up for how I look." I've had very few relationships and only one sexual partner, though I'd prefer it had never happened after the fact, though I certainly tried.
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put myself out there for years and was rejected by dozens of women before meeting one that I thought would be able to look past my appearance. I lost my virginity to her and everything, but after a month, she came to my place crying and saying, though she had found me attractive as a person, she couldn't get over my appearance and had felt terrible.
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She confessed sex with me was extremely difficult the two times we did it due to how I looked. I told her I understood and we went our separate ways. I'd have been happier if we'd been friends and never dated, if I'm being honest.
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That was several years ago and I swore off romantic love and sex since it was just hurting me. Life has been pretty good since I gave up. Wish I wasn't what I am so I could find love, but I get it. I made some great friends, Sam and Sarah. I've been friends with them for a few years now and we get along great.
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The only issue is that they are in relationships and have this fantasy about going on triple dates with me included." Problem is, of course, I don't date, and so they've been trying to play matchmaker.
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There have been probably seven or eight attempts now to get me with some friend or acquaintance of theirs ranging from being blindsided with a date when I thought I'd just be there with them, or inviting girls to parties and trying to get us together all night. I hate it.
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I feel bad for these girls because obviously they weren't told about this either and now they have to play nice with the weird ugly guy their friends dumped them on. Not only that, but there is this look in their eyes that I'm sadly used to now. It's a combination of sadness and fear that overcomes them when we make eye contact.
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I can feel them looking at every mark on my face, getting more and more grossed out and uncomfortable. Of course they're scared. This six-foot-six man who looks like Frankenstein's monster has become your date for the night." I'd be scared too. I tell them every time not to set me up as I don't want to date, but they get so excited to finally find the one for me that they do it anyway.
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So backstory aside, I keep telling Sam and Sarah to stop setting me up. And last week they came over to hang out and Sarah kept mentioning this friend of hers from work and start showing me pictures. I see where this is all going, and I find out they invited her to Sam's party in a few weeks.
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I say, cool, I look forward to meeting her, but this isn't a date, and I won't be letting them push me onto the poor girl. She's cute, and from what they tell me, I'm sure we'd get along great if I were normal, but that just isn't the case. Sarah begins to get upset at me and asked me why I won't just give her a shot. So I asked if this girl had even seen a picture of me or heard about me.
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She admitted that she had not and hadn't planned on showing her any pic or even telling her about me until the night of the party. I'll admit, I snapped and told both of them to stop playing matchmaker. I was sick of it and showed them texts from two girls they victimized. They were kind enough to tell me they liked me but weren't physically attracted to me.
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Showed the texts and Sarah and Sam made an excuse and left. Haven't heard from them in a week. How can I fix this?
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If your friends did show your pics, would you agree to the matchmaking then? OP responds, part of me wants to say I would, but after having the last relationship end the way it did, I'd rather not risk it.
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One more to highlight here. If you don't want to date, that's fine, but it's no more your place to decide for that potential woman what she has to deal with than it is your friend's place to decide that you'd be happier in a relationship. You don't need to justify your decision to stay single, so it makes it sound like you're trying to be some sort of hero saving someone from what?
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loving you and being happy with you, you should be single because that's what you want, not because that's what you think others want.
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I mean, and continuing from that, a commenter points out all these statements. If I were normal, a combination of sadness and fear that overcomes them, poor unsuspecting women, Frankenstein's monster, two of the girls they victimized. Please, dude, get some help. These comments about yourself are very unkind and very unnecessary and very extreme.
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This isn't the writing of someone whose life has been pretty good. Yeah. OP responds, I'm not exaggerating. My appearance frightens people. I'm not normal.
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Well, we have an update. Hey, everyone. I figured since posting here the other day ended up being an overall cathartic experience, and since I have a very happy update, I'm back to share. After spending hours reading and responding to users both in thread and in DMs, I decided to reach out to Sam and Sarah and try to set things right.
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We met up to talk and to keep it short Sam and Sarah hadn't reached out because they felt terrible after realizing their mistakes. They were very apologetic and I promised that as long as they stopped trying to set me up and forgave me for snapping at them then we were cool with each other. Looks like communication saves the day again.
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So after our talk, they asked if I wanted to come over and play some games and have a few drinks with them and some of their work friends. Sarah admitted the girl, Laura, that they wanted to set me up with would be there, but that they hadn't said anything to her about me and there'd be no pressure or matchmaking going on. So I agreed to go.
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So last night, I came over for drinks and games. I met Laura without some stupid blind date pretext, and she's a lovely person. We had several interests in common, and she and I have very similar jobs within different companies, so we have a lot to talk about. It's great. They didn't meddle, and I got a new friend. Easy peasy.
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Heck, we get along so great, she's invited me over to her place tonight to watch some movies. We both learned we're some of our favorites.
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then some pizza and complaining about working in it so my social life is alive and well it seems that's about it as far as my update is concerned sam sarah and i are cool i made a new friend and i got to talk to so many wonderful people on reddit i want to thank all of you for taking the time to read my post and give me your opinions and advice There are some really great folks in this community.
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Heck, I'm still receiving a few messages a day of kindness from you awesome people.
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ah top comment she invited you over for pizza and a movie at her place i think you have more of a shot than you realize oh yeah sounds a little like a date but i won't i won't put that out there we have another update two and a half years later oh wait when was the original post Original post. Well, it says two years ago on the little thing.
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Okay, it starts, it appears all of my posts are being removed. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to fix this. A few years ago, I came to Reddit to ask about an issue I was having with my friends trying to set me up on blind dates. And then he kind of summarizes that. So I'm going to jump down.
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The woman they were going to try and set me up with before our argument, Laura, ended up being really cool and without the pressure of it being a blind date and just us hanging out with a larger group, we clicked and were fast friends. We hung out the night after at her place to watch movies and eat pizza. It was great.
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We started hanging out more and more and as time went on, eventually she asks me out. I was terrified initially, but decided to go for it. She's not bothered by my scars. She looks at me with kindness and warmth that is indescribably wonderful to me. Laura and I are still together. We got a place together not too long ago, and I intend to propose to her early next year.
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Sam, Sarah, and I are all still great friends. We now go on these triple dates they always wanted. We even did our first Friendsgiving with them, their significant others, and the kids. Laura loves getting to cook for a house full of guests and we intend to try and host more group meals now that we have a place with space for it.
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It wasn't easy, but with a growing support network in Laura and my friends, I was able to finally get some more help for my mental health to work on my insecurities and trauma. Been going for over a year now and progress is slow but steady. Laura has been my rock. I love her more than I ever hated myself. So it's been easier than I expected to keep going to therapy appointments.
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So that's about it. I was in a very dark place and some kindness from internet strangers helped me through a rough patch. So I wanted to repay them by at least posting an update. Even if most of those people have since moved on.
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Yeah. And also just stop giving a shit what other people think. Oh, we all. I think that is one of life's biggest lessons because clearly you learn at some point because I'm, you know, I want to get there earlier, but you see elderly people, they don't dress and like do all this stuff to try and like look good for everyone. They dress for comfort and quality and what makes them feel good.
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But don't do it because you're afraid about what everyone else is going to think.
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And it's so easy to say all this. I get it. But that's, I think, something that... It's so key to learn in life is just live life. And most of the time, other people don't even care. They're not even thinking about you. They're not even looking at you. So just like stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
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Well, I don't do New Year's resolutions. I do resolutions as they come up, as there's a need for them. I don't, you know, like if there's some change you're trying to make, do it now. Don't wait until next January. Like that's way too long. Come on, let's do it right now.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
This episode is presented by Colgate Optic White. Wedding's coming up a little over five months away and I am making sure my teeth are going to be pearly white. I want to look back at those photos and videos and just feel proud about my smile, which is where Colgate Optic White comes in.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Like you're wishing this upon her, but if they're not pregnant, you're just touching your coworker.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Not funny. Not funny. Didn't laugh. No. And this next one, I don't know if anyone's going to find it funny either. Moving along to story number two. This is coming from Relationship Advice, 14 hours old, titled, Boyfriend Tests Have Me Feeling Bad. Her, 30 female. Me, 38 male. My girlfriend keeps giving me boyfriend tests. We've been together almost four months. Not long, I know.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
About a month ago, my girlfriend started doing boyfriend tests on me. It started with her telling me she wanted a weekend alone. So I gave her space while making myself available if she wanted any company. I failed that test because I didn't surprise visit her.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
We had a long talk together about the boyfriend test, primarily about how communicating directly what she wants and needs is the only way I'll understand what she wants and needs. And I told her I can't handle these boyfriend type tests, things that she's doing. It feels unfair and I feel like I'm being punished for believing or trusting what she tells me.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
It's kind of hit a head this past weekend when she told me our birth control failed and she's pregnant. She kept the lie up for the entire day. I think I handled it well. I was calm, accepting, and communicative. We haven't talked yet about her latest boyfriend test, though. I'm not sure how to form my thoughts on the matter yet. I'm very upset.
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And her and I have talked about this a number of times now. I do like her a lot. We have similar goals, similar personalities, or at least I thought we did until all of this started. Has anyone else ever dealt with something similar and continued the relationship? Is my best option to just end the relationship before we're four years in instead of only four months?
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
And then the more I thought about it, every story I had, I was like, it fits. It fits. It fits. Or does it? Yeah. We will have to decide. Justifiable crash out, not justifiable crash out. Chill, my girl. I'm team crash out. I'm team crash out. I'm crashing out right now.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
That's so inappropriate. Yeah. I think you're four months in. If you're feeling insecure in the relationship, like, okay, come to terms with that on your own, not by psychologically testing someone. Like, you're only four months in. Yeah. It is a new relationship. You might not feel perfectly secure. Right.
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But do you fake a pregnancy and play along with it for a day and then at the end of the day just say, oh, by the way, this was a test. I'm not pregnant.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Yeah, totally. Because next time she comes to you and says, oh, I'm pregnant. Yeah. Good one. Right. Good one.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
I think that's really fair. I think that's a lot of people's conversation early on in dating, too. Like, yeah, hey, you know, we're starting to have sex. Obviously, we're going to use birth control or I'm on the pill or, you know, you use condoms, whatever. Like you have that conversation. But then followed by that, it's always a but what if something happened?
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Like, yeah, where would you be right now? Yeah. I think that's, like, a normal conversation, but to test someone in this way? No, these can all be questions is the thing. Like, these could have all been questions. I wonder, like, psychologically, what is it on her end? Like, is she genuinely—is it just, like, an insecurity thing or is this something— You know what I mean?
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
I need to slow down in my talking speed. I'm like out of breath. My brain, it's like I can feel I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain because I'm talking so fast. I think that makes for the perfect episode. It's going to be really good. But if this is your first time here, I'm usually not this crazy. I'm Morgan. Welcome to Two Hot Takes. Today, I have Miss Michaela. Hello, I'm Michaela.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
This one, she's a bit goofy for me. And I definitely, I'm curious where you fall, but I feel like he should probably cut his losses.
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215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
I think I handled it well. I was calm, accepting, communicative. Yeah. I mean, he's also 38, so he could be at a point where he's like, hey, whatever happens, happens. I just saw a video of someone on TikTok and she was like distraught over a pregnancy test. Yeah. And... It was, like, captioned or titled on the thing where it was, like, me crashing out even though we weren't using any protection.
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I can't do this. He could have had a lot worse in his past where he's like, this is nothing. Which, have you ever had anything goofy like this?
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But whether you're a bride or a guest, you can get a smile glow up with Colgate's Optic White Overnight Whitening Pen. The pen gives you visibly whiter teeth in just one week and it fits right in with your usual nighttime routine. Just apply the whitening serum after brushing and and let it work its magic while you sleep.
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Uh-huh. Because then you just, like, they're so convincing that you start to get convinced. And that's the thing. Like, I'm, like, I'm also coming from recording our... Clues episode. My new podcast, Clues. And the case we did today was Kaylee Anthony.
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And when you go through, you know, Casey Anthony, who just lies and lies and lies, you like you're like, oh, my God, like she is definitely a pathological liar. And if you're a true pathological liar, like sometimes you can actually start to believe your lies and rewrite it in your brain. And so I'm just like people like that can be so scary. And then I'm like this girl.
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I'm like, does she just enjoy lying and seeing how people react to it? I don't know.
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You don't assume the worst in people, especially people you're friends with or family or whatever. Like it's you want to believe them. Like, why would you why would they lie to me? Like lying isn't good.
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I've like dated a lot of cheaters. Yeah. I mean, I was really, the stuff that like they got away with, I'm like still like, Mogan, what were you doing? But you're young. You learn.
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The last person I dated before moving to L.A., like he started talking to a new girl and like ghosted me like I had plans to go on his boat the next day. And he was like, I'm so excited to go on the boat with you tomorrow. And then next day rolls around and I'm like texting him nothing. And I heard he like started talking to a new girl like that night. He invited her on the boat instead.
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Yeah, no, it was, like, diabolical. I'm, like, I started worrying. I'm, like, are you okay? Like, what's going on? That's... And I found out, like, this new girl, like, was going to be over at his apartment because, like, we had... All of our friends were mutual. Like my friends still went on the boat that day, but I didn't go. What?
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And they were like, I think they're going back to his apartment. So I grabbed like two of my other girlfriends. Yes. Whitney and Noel. And we crawled up the hill to the side of the apartment with a carton of eggs and started like throwing eggs at the window. Now that is a deserved crash out. Didn't reach the window, but I got a little goofy. But top comment on this one. Yeah. She is toxic. Yeah.
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Get off the fence and get out of there before she gets pregnant for real. Next comment down, this. Abuse doesn't have to be physical to be abuse. What she's doing is keeping OP constantly on edge, afraid that the next word out of her mouth is that he's failed somehow. This isn't about trust. Not really. Her actions are about power and control.
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OP specifically communicated to her that he doesn't like these tests and that he wants her to communicate. Her response was to do another test. Yeah. OP consider this. Let's say that she was pregnant. What's to stop her from running dad tests on you? She sounds absolutely capable of calling you during work and claiming that she's having issues with the baby.
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You arrive, but she tells you that you failed the dad test because you weren't there in 10 minutes.
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What if she also tries pulling the same test on the kids to test their love for her? Oh, God. Imagine being a child and your mother randomly tells you that you don't love mommy enough because you didn't pick up your toys in time, which does absolutely happen. This woman is toxic and bad news.
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Yeah. You need to find like a lumberjack over there. There's so many like little thirst trap careers. Okay.
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If someone's, especially your partner, constantly creating stress in your life. Yeah. Not good.
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Not good. It's supposed to make life better. I know. Yeah. It's supposed to just symbiotic relationship. Happy. Kumbaya. I don't know. That exactly. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. Kumbaya. Is that still an appropriate term? It was a Jesus song. Kumbaya, my Lord. Kumbaya. Yeah. I don't know about that one. How do you spell kumbaya? I don't know. Kumbaya.
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You know, I was invited to do a spelling bee in eighth grade and it all went downhill after that. I can't say anything right. Oh? Is it bad?
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Okay, I like it. I like it. Okay, cool. Someone in the comments, correct us if we need to know more about Kumbaya. But a lot of people are in OP's comments asking like, where did she get this from?
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I did do that to my friend Alejandro's car. Yeah. Oh, wait, like, you actually put diesel in it? Uh-huh. No, well, I put gas in her diesel car. Oh. She had like a little Jetta and it was a diesel Jetta. And she would always be like, yeah, I need to stop and get gas. I need to stop and get gas. So she let me take her car once and I drove it to a gas station and put gas in it.
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We learn. We live and we learn. OP does have a few other comments here. He says, I feel like trust for me is going to be harder going forward with anyone. I hope that the feeling of everything being a test isn't permanent for both of us. OP did have some health issues arise. So people are like, have you talked to her? Like what's going on?
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And OP commented, I ended up going to the hospital today and postponing talking to her until Tuesday evening. So it's been a rough couple of days. Came home to see a million comments to read through. Wasn't expecting so many people to be on board. I kind of thought a lot more people would be like, this is normal. It's definitely not normal. No, and guess what day it is? Tuesday.
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We had one story a couple episodes ago where this wife pulled a divorce prank on her husband. yeah like in what world in what world would that ever be okay and not traumatizing traumatizing yeah psychologically damaging manipulative to someone insane but moving along This episode is brought to you by Talkspace.
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To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. This next one is coming from Relationship Advice, four days old, titled, My 26 female husband, 33 male, is obsessed with pro wrestling and it's ruining our marriage. Do I leave? Throwaway as my husband is on Reddit.
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My husband wasn't a pro wrestling as a kid, fell out of it, but over the last few years has eased back into it. I've never been a pro wrestling fan. I thought it was something that people watched as kids and grew out of, but he has become obsessed and it's escalating to a point where I no longer feel comfortable.
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Apologies, as I may not get all the terms right, I'm exposed to wrestling a lot, but I do try to avoid watching it. It started harmless enough. He'd watch the pay-per-view events like WrestleMania. Then he started watching recaps of the weekly shows. Now he's glued to the couch every night there's a live pro wrestling event. He watches multiple wrestling shows, not just WWE.
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He started spending money, I mean a lot of money, on merchandise. T-shirts, hats, action figures, the fake belts, etc. I was okay with this, as it was nice to see his passion reignited for something. He's been in a rough spot with work lately, but now pro wrestling is the only thing he cares about. He yells at the TV like he's a part of the crowd, cheering or booing.
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When he's watching and when he's not watching, he constantly shouts out their catchphrases randomly. He says things like, yeet, acknowledge me, you can't see me, etc. He actually gets irritated if I don't play along with him. Like if I don't raise my hand when he says, acknowledge me. This past weekend was the worst of it. Those of you who know, know it was WrestleMania.
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He asked me to refer to him as the final boss all weekend. I laughed it off and thought he was joking, but he wasn't. We actually got into an argument about it Saturday evening because he said I wasn't supporting him in the way he needs and that whenever we're watching wrestling, I look bored, disinterested, etc. I look that way because I am. He's got to be watching 15 hours of wrestling a week.
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Easy. When Jey Uso, question mark, won at WrestleMania, he literally jumped on top of our couch waving his arms. It was embarrassing. I left the room. I don't want to say too much regarding our intimacy, but he's asked for a lot of role-playing lately as well, and it has me very concerned. The things he's asked me to do and say make me super uncomfortable. It's all wrestling-related."
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Things have taken a toll on me mentally. It's nonstop. He sends me memes of Roman Reigns and a bunch of other wrestlers. He talks like them, acts like them, and demands I participate in his little performances. Sunday night, the wrestler he wanted to win didn't win, and it's still affecting him today. His mood's sour and he seems depressed. I hate to admit it, but it's been kind of nice.
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He hasn't been as loud and noisy as usual. So Reddit, I need help. I just don't think I can deal with it anymore. He sings the wrestler songs. He does their sayings. He's got all their t-shirts. He's even got tickets for us to the next show coming through in about three weeks. But I just don't think I can take it. Please help.
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It's fake. Yeah. But we're not going to get into that. I don't want to ruin anyone's day today. Sorry.
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You know what I got to tell you? I've been working with that little cricket machine you gave me. Yes. Crickets making me crash out. I got to tell you, all you cricket girlies and guys out there, no one gives you enough respect. Crickets are not easy.
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Yeah. I mean, it's OK for you and your partner to have separate interests. Yeah. It's also, I mean, I don't know their finances or their finances, but it's just like you're also spending us out of pocket with all your wrestling. And he's not working right now, it sounds like. Or he's just having a hard time with work. Oh, okay. But he's in a rough spot with work lately. Unsure what that means.
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But when you're making this your whole identity... You can't expect someone else to just be cool with it. Like I can imagine coming home and, you know, me and Justin, we both work, you know, essentially nine to like 7 p.m. We're both like out of the house. Then we come back and we have dinner.
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If I then the couple hours a night, a week I get with him, if every time he was talking about wrestling and only wrestling and, oh, he's in the kitchen, he's like, acknowledge me, spatula, ground chicken chop, like, I would lose my mind.
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Honestly, he should go join the circuit. Like, go hop on the wrestling circuit. I'm sure there's a job related to wrestling you could get into, but... Regardless, I feel like OP being like, and it's ruining our marriage, do I leave? It's gotten to a point. For sure.
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But unless it just wasn't really included in this post, it doesn't seem like OP has really talked about it and talked about drawing strong boundaries between like, you have your wrestling time. It's okay for us to have separate interests. I don't want to be a part of wrestling anymore. It's okay.
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I'm curious. There's no comments from OP in regards to this post. Okay. Very active Reddit account, a part of the two-year club, verified email, commenting in things like poverty finance and side hustle subreddits.
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No, she's clearly at her wits end. But no mention of a conversation. So I don't know.
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I will say, though, she's only 26. He's 33. Oh. So we do have a bit of an age gap. No mention of like how long they've been together, whatever. Seems like a decent amount of time. I don't know. If at 26, there's things I might not have addressed with my partner. I might have just been like, it's fine. It's not that big of a deal. Like, I feel like 26 is... I get it's very mature.
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She's clearly married, adult, whatever. But... I don't know. I feel like even now at 31, I'm like, ah, I don't love that thing that Justin did. But it's not that big of a deal. Like, it's just water cups on the side of the bed. Not even going to address it, whatever. But granted, this is wrestling. It's taken over his whole life now.
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Well, I've. had some big learning curves and uphill battles to fight with the little thing but we are now there but like okay i bought this vinyl and it's it's metallic but it says matless and then you put it on a mat and then it cuts everything and it drags the little letters around after it cuts it and then i take off the mat and it wastes so much material and i'm like
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But I can just see being in a point where like you haven't gotten comfortable enough having these big confrontations and what you anticipate to be a fight. Like some people in relationships like just don't want to fight. They view any open communication as confrontation and therefore fighting. And so I could see her just being like, it's fine. It's fine. And then no, she's crashing out.
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I don't know. He's just bringing it into way too many areas of his life.
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As a wrestling fan, my advice would be this. Your husband desperately needs some friends he can watch wrestling with. He's clearly become a huge fan, and if he's dumping all of this excitement and enthusiasm for it onto you, then that suggests he has no one else he can talk about it with. My friends and I have PPV watch parties where we all get together and talk about wrestling while watching it.
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Plus, I'm on a few online spaces that talk about wrestling too. Tell him to start looking for groups and friends that he can enjoy wrestling with.
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Yeah. I mean, my friend Grayson loves wrestling. He actually just went to WrestleMania in Las Vegas. He's a nut. But do I talk to him about wrestling? Probably not. No. I didn't even know he was passionate about it. Yeah. So we're just, we're not on that level of wrestling friend level. Yeah. There's another comment right after the top one that says, This must be wrestling terminology.
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I think it is wrestling terminology. Okay, you guys, I'm going to spell these numbers out. 141-2-3% chance of getting divorced. The numbers don't lie. And they spell disaster for you if you don't change your behavior. I don't know.
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But my wedding invitations are coming along nicely. Now I just need a calligraphy person.
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I don't know. I'm already bad at math. And then you add in this weird wrestling dash and slash percent. Seems like there's too many symbols in there. Yeah.
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I don't know. Moving along. This next one is kind of a little too much of a good thing maybe and having a little bit too much of something for you. Oh, okay. You'll see very shortly. So this next one, this is coming from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit. It is six hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for cutting off my partner's daily supply of titty lattes?
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This is my first time posting, so hopefully I've done it right. I'm a longtime listener. I love the pod. Anyways, so this is kind of weird, but here we go. I, 31 female, had a baby 10 weeks ago. One morning, just for laughs, I squirted a bit of breast milk into my partner, 38 males, coffee.
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We both cracked up, and then he drank it, looked me dead in the eyes, and said it was the best coffee he's ever had. And so the era of the titty latte was born. Since then, every single morning, without fail, he's asked for his daily titty latte, like he's ordering from some boutique hipster cafe. It was funny at first, but now it's getting a little dot dot dot out of hand.
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I'm exclusively breastfeeding our baby, and every drop of milk really counts. I just don't have the supply to keep making boutique boob coffees and feed our actual child. I told him I can't keep giving him titty lattes, and while he's not angry, he's genuinely devastated.
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Now every morning he drinks his boring regular coffee with big sad puppy eyes, dramatically sighing about how it, quote, tastes like dishwater and broken dreams. I feel a bit bad because it did become a weird little bonding ritual for us, but Parenthood makes you weird, I swear. But at the same time, our baby needs it way more than his taste buds do.
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Actually, I did find out it was $6 a little train because I have these little wood trains and I'm writing our rehearsal dinner on them. And if I had someone hand calligraphy them, it would have been $6 a little train. Yeah. Cricut, I bought the little sheet of vinyl, $12.
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So, am I the asshole for cutting off his titty latte supply to prioritize feeding our baby? Also, I cannot believe this is my real life. Send help. Yes, I know this sounds weird. No, he's not weird otherwise. Just very, very enthusiastic about his coffee.
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And I think baby's got dibs. I would say so. And milk supply can be very, very anxiety provoking for a lot of new moms. Sounds like first baby. And I know my sister-in-law like really struggled with her milk supply with their firstborn. And it was a big part of like contributing to her postpartum depression, like that pressure and like not being able to supply for your baby. So
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When you're, you know, maybe low supply, every drop does count for you. So, yeah.
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Get 15% off all Colgate Optic White products at shop.colgate.com with the code 2HOTTAKES. Always use as directed. Here we go again. See, I told you I'm crashing out. I know. We just recorded the most magical little intro. And I look over and I see audio is not recording.
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It's real good. Literally. Trader Joe's brown sugar oat milk. So good. Oh, so good. They had a pumpkin oat milk, too. It's always kind of around fall.
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Yeah, I've I've tried some. You have? Yeah. When? After a live show. I wasn't going to get into it. What do you mean? A listener brought their breast milk to a live show and we took shots of it. Was it better than? Tasted great. It did? Tasted like cinnamon toast crunch milk. What? Yeah. I don't know if she was having a lot of cinnamon. I don't know. I wasn't going to get into it.
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Don't yell at me. Don't yell at me. I didn't bring it up. Mikayla did. I can't believe this.
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yeah a really yeah good milk also maybe it's like kind of hot for him like his wife has given amazing the miracle of life and she's breastfeeding and feeding their child and like maybe it's maybe it's hot for him too sure yeah i mean a lot going on there
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Yeah. But no, obviously not the asshole. Yeah. It's her titties, her tatas. Oh, yeah. Her bazoongas. Okay. Coconuts. Oh. Breasts. Why not? Boobs. Melons. What else? I don't know. What else do we have? Mangoes? Oh, mangoes. What did I say? Bazoombas? Bazoongas? I don't know. There's one of those. You might have said mangoes and then I said it again. She can do what she wants. Yeah.
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Like, she can do what she wants. Top comment on this one. I can't believe I'm the first one here. What a post. Uh, not the asshole. Your titties, your rules. Since you had some fun too, maybe you hit him with one as a random surprise once a month to keep the magic of titty latte alive. But he can't demand it like you're literally a cow to be milked. What's his plan when the kid grows up?
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He doesn't get to complain here about anything. Next comment down. Your titties, your rules. Someone goes, I wish I wasn't here, but here I am. Um, there's some people that comment maybe like on Mondays or something is like his special treat, like only one day a week. And next comment down goes titty Tuesday.
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All caps. Um, confetti cannon emojis. Absolutely. Someone goes, this is the answer. But he owes you a back rub later for payment. Maybe give him something in exchange. OP responds, yes, with the clapping hands.
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Uh-huh. Someone goes in response to the Titty Tuesday, followed by Hump Day. OP responds, I bet he'd love that.
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yeah he's getting to have his cake and drink his titty milk wow that's you should coin that yeah throw it on a shirt op does have a little edit for us after reading some of the comments i want to clarify a couple things i added quotation marks around genuinely because it's meant to be light-hearted he's not spiraling over this but being dramatically funny
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Bullet point number two, I actually have a good supply and baby is growing really well. But once my little guzzle guts has her feed, there's just not a whole latte left for the pump. Breastfeeding and pumping don't trigger the same response. So I'm not magically filling a coffee cup afterwards. Bullet point number three. And when I said it's getting out of hand, I'm a one woman show over here.
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Wow, that's so true. I love the man, but I'm juggling a newborn, boobs and a coffee enthusiast. OP goes on to add he loves the idea of titty Tuesdays. And I will update you all on the condensed milk alternatives.
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I know. Love is love. You got a lot of not the assholes in the comments. Just because he has a milk fetish doesn't mean your baby should potentially go hungry so that you parent coffee better for them. I wonder if he does have a milk fetish. I think he does. Yeah. If the coffee tastes like dishwater, they can buy better coffee. New coffee maker and bottled water to make it taste better.
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This person was very upset about the baby not getting enough milk. But hey, Opie said good milk supply. So we're a-okay there. A-okay there.
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Just like everyone else will when they find out I drank some breast milk.
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It's fine. Whatever. And then I didn't expect it to be out of show. I know. I know. Which I don't reckon. Don't drink people's breast milk that you don't know. Wow. Yeah. It was. I was crashing out.
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I was crashing out. Clearly. This next one. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is three days old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my sister I won't be her maid of honor because she didn't come to my wedding due to her dog dying? This is a throwaway, as friends know my mane. So I, 28 female, got married last year.
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It was a small but beautiful ceremony with our closest friends and family. My older sister, 32 female, and I have always had a complicated relationship. We're close, but she's also extremely emotional and kind of dramatic. She was supposed to be my maid of honor. Two days before my wedding, her 14-year-old dog passed away unexpectedly. I
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I was obviously sympathetic, but she called me sobbing, saying she couldn't emotionally handle coming to the wedding because she was too devastated. I tried to talk her down, even offered to have someone bring her home early if it was too much, but she refused and didn't show up. It hurt. A lot. She missed one of the biggest days of my life, and I had no maid of honor.
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recording recording we're safe sound good we're safe i know we do sound good today headphones headphones are back baby it's nice it's nice to hear it gives me assurance that our audio is actually being recorded because i can hear it and i can see it so i'm good okay morgan take a deep breath it's fine in through your nose Yeah. It's going to be fine. Yeah, of course. You're safe here. Okay.
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We didn't talk much after that. A few months ago, she got engaged, though, and just last week asked me to be her maid of honor. I told her I couldn't. I said I still felt hurt that she missed my wedding. And while I love her, I just couldn't pretend like everything was fine. She got extremely upset, said I was being cold and petty and that her dog was like her child.
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Our parents are pressuring me to just be the bigger person. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Am I the asshole for saying no?
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Yeah, I agree. This was a big moment for her to show up. Mm hmm. And it is like really sad, like losing your pet. It's really sad. And a lot of people do look at their pets as their children. But don't think I'm insensitive because I'm not like it's I get it. It's so hard losing animals. It's just like I can't even it's so shitty. But dog died two days later, sister's wedding.
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Even if she would have just gone for a little bit, perform your duty as maid of honor and then leave after the ceremony. But to just not go at all, it just feels, it just doesn't feel right. And I don't know, like, everyone grieves differently. But I do think the sister kind of fucked up in that.
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And so I think right now, like if she's saying like, am I the asshole for telling her I won't be her maid of honor because she didn't come to my wedding due to her dog dying? Like if you're doing it out of spite. Maybe you're the asshole. But if you're, you know, as you're saying here, like I told her I still felt hurt. She missed my wedding.
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And while I love her, I can't pretend everything's fine. Those are your feelings. I don't think you're the asshole for having your feelings. I wouldn't want to stand up to someone I'm fighting with and fake a smile and be happy for them when they couldn't do the same for me on my day.
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And I think that's so fair. I don't know. I at least do, especially given like looking back at what OP said, we didn't talk much after that, the wedding. Yeah. I would like to know like how the sister responded after. Like, was there an apology? Was there like her really trying to make amends and make up for it?
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But at the same time, I'm like, I can't rationalize skipping my sibling's wedding after I don't know. I have a hard time with it. And like my mom just put her dog down last week, like a childhood dog that I got her for Mother's Day 13 years ago. And little Ted, just the cutest little guy. But I'm like, if my mom had to put Ted down and I had... Your wedding the next day.
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My wedding the next day, like she would still be there. What do you think the overall vote on this one is?
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So overall vote on this one? Yeah. Asshole. Oh, wow. Top comment. If you're doing this out of spite, then you're the asshole. If you are sincerely declining because you don't want to uphold all the duties and obligations of being the maid of honor, then not the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
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But I don't think she feels up for the job. And the next person down says that it doesn't matter the reason, spite or not, anyone is allowed to decline being someone's maid of honor without being judged an asshole for saying no, not the asshole. But the people are fighting. Yeah, this is a tough one.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Our first story. It's coming from Am I the Asshole? It is five days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Snapping When Someone Rubbed My Belly and Implied I Might Be Pregnant? So today, my office was throwing a little fiesta-themed event, and they offered free lunch in the cafeteria. A bunch of us went down to grab food.
Two Hot Takes
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Because next comment down, doing things out of spite, which is to say doing things with the intent of hurting another person, absolutely deserves to be judged. Next comment down, not doing things because you've been hurt before is completely different than doing something to hurt someone. So like, I mean, people go back and forth on this. Like crazy.
Two Hot Takes
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I wouldn't do it. And I think like be supportive, but I don't think her saying no because she's hurt. Like I get the the overall impression she's hurt and not doing this out of spite. And people kind of like go in on that. And someone goes, I could be wrong, but this doesn't sound spiteful to me. Spiteful would be her agreeing to do it and then dropping out two days beforehand. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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At least OP is being upfront and giving sister time to find someone else to fill in.
Two Hot Takes
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No. And this is something I find interesting in the comments. Someone goes, I'm so tired of this, quote, no one owes anyone anything mentality. And this is like a big debate.
Two Hot Takes
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They go on to say, yes, she's allowed to decline, but if her reason is out of sheer pettiness, that's childish, selfish, and absolutely makes her an asshole. They're sisters, and by OP's own admission, are close. To maintain a relationship with her, OP owes her sister things like this, being her maid of honor, or having a very valid reason to say no. Saying no out of spite is not a valid reason.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Yeah. And I feel like people are kind of going back and forth, like arguing like, well, she bailed like she's not entitled. And then someone's like bailed her dog died. She gave her sister notice. Should she have just ignored her own grief?
Two Hot Takes
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While I was standing there, I opened the Nest camera app to check on something, and I saw a little bird that's been showing up outside every day. I laughed and casually said to no one in particular, quote, this bird comes to visit me every day.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah. And she was like trying to find her remedies or solutions to make her comfortable. Like, hey, if you get sad and you want to leave, like we'll make sure someone can bring you home.
Two Hot Takes
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I don't know. I'm not trying to be insensitive and maybe I'm off base here, but. We could be.
Two Hot Takes
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We do have a couple comments from OP. So someone goes, no assholes here. It was very bad timing, but no one's fault. She would have been a terrible maid of honor while dealing with that initial grief, so it's probably for the best she wasn't there sobbing next to you. It sounds like she never acknowledged how much her absence hurt you, though.
Two Hot Takes
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If you can't be there for her in good conscience, then declining is appropriate. However, the bitterness you hold against her won't be satisfied. And I, I really, I do appreciate that comment. Like, would I personally have skipped a big day like that? No, but I, I can empathize with her that like, if this pet was her child, clearly a lot of grief.
Two Hot Takes
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And hopefully she's not the person to just like skip her sister's wedding for, I don't, you know what I mean? I'm like, clearly it was a big deal for her. So someone responds to that and goes, the sister has, from what I can tell, not apologized either.
Two Hot Takes
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Curious about? Yeah. We are more distant than ever. It just felt like I was expected to quietly move on, and now that it's her turn, I'm supposed to step up without hesitation? I'm not trying to punish her, but it's hard to ignore that there's still a lot of unresolved between us.
Two Hot Takes
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Right after that, a coworker who has made pregnancy comments towards me before came up, rubbed my belly without asking and said something like, quote, maybe it's because you've got a little bird on the way. I felt this immediate wave of rage. Like, why are we still doing this in 2025? So I said, quote, don't be wishing that kind of bad luck on me.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah, the fact that there was nothing is kind of strange for me.
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Yeah, and it's clear she was grieving her pet, but then you have OP who's also grieving not having her sister, her maid of honor, with her on a special day. That is a loss for someone. Weddings can be a big deal for a lot of people.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah. To me, it almost feels similar to someone not having a parent be able to walk them down the aisle or not be able to have a first dance with someone or their grandma isn't there. Like, it's a big deal to have someone you love not be there for a day that you find so special and meaningful.
Two Hot Takes
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We do have a little bit of an edit from OP. Yes, my sister was genuinely grieving, and I probably minimized that at the time because I felt abandoned. I can admit now that her loss was very personal and not something you can just power through, even for a wedding. That said, what's hurt the most is that we never talked about it.
Two Hot Takes
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She never acknowledged how painful it was for me that she didn't show up, and I never told her directly either. I just held onto it quietly." And now it's spilling out in a way that probably doesn't feel fair to her. My lack of communication caused a buildup, but she also could have reached out.
Two Hot Takes
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I've decided to reach out and talk to her, not to change my answer, but to explain why I said no and to give her a chance to tell her side too. I don't want this silence and resentment to keep growing between us. I'll update if anything major happens, but for now, thank you for the wake-up call and for helping me think through this.
Two Hot Takes
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I know. And I just don't like thinking about anything happening to my little old grandpa pony that's in my backyard. But like he's 29. I've had him since I was like in third grade, second or third grade. Yeah. And if he passed. It'd be awful. It would be terrible. He almost took himself out a couple weeks ago with colicking. He ate a bunch of dirt.
Two Hot Takes
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But if something happened to him and my friend, my sister was getting married. I would still go, but maybe this is one we put to the people we put to a poll. Yeah. Because we have a lot of animal lovers out there, and not to say we aren't, but we just have a different take on this.
Two Hot Takes
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No, it's just a difference of opinions. But I'm curious where people fall on this one. Like, if you lost a pet, would you not go to a family member's big event like a wedding? Like, I'm curious where people fall. But I will say this is an incredibly mature, big response from OP to just be like, hey. I realized she was grieving. She never reached out to me, but I didn't reach out to her.
Two Hot Takes
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She looked super taken aback, and my boss, who overheard, also looked at me like I had just said something offensive. It felt like I was the crazy one for being upset. But I didn't ask to be touched, I'm not pregnant, and I really don't like people making those kinds of comments about my body. Now I'm wondering, am I the asshole for reacting the way I did?
Two Hot Takes
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And maybe it is kind of like that person said, no assholes here. Or both assholes. I don't know. I don't know. Because like, did either one of you handle it right? Yeah. No, maybe I just find it odd that her sister would be like, I can't come to the wedding. And then at least the couple of days following or after their honeymoon wouldn't follow up and be like, I'm so sorry I missed it.
Two Hot Takes
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Tell me about everything. Yeah. That to me is crazy. Yeah, absolutely. And I agree. I'm so honestly a little nervous to hear your thoughts on this one. But look for the poll because I'm very curious where you guys fall on this. But moving along. Mm hmm. Okay, we're going to get into a little more sister drama, a little more pet drama before mixing it up a little bit.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
So this one is coming from AITAH. It is 17 days old. Titled, Am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my sister's miracle baby after what she did to my dog? Oh, this kind of sounds similar. It's giving similar energy. Yeah. But also worse. Worse. Way worse. Oh, good. So my sister, 32 female, had a baby last year after years of struggling with infertility. We were all happy for her.
Two Hot Takes
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She called him her miracle baby. And honestly, I didn't mind the attention he got until things got weird. I, 28 female, have a golden retriever named Benny. He's five and the sweetest boy alive. Everyone in the family loves him, even my sister used to, until the baby came along. One time, I brought Benny over when I visited. He stayed on his mat, didn't bark, or even move.
Two Hot Takes
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The baby started crying and my sister went, I think he's making the baby nervous, and asked me to put him outside in the middle of winter. I said no and left early. That was strike one. Next time I saw her, she told me straight up she didn't want Benny around her son because he's a dog. I said okay, whatever, and stopped bringing him. But I could tell something shifted. Strike two.
Two Hot Takes
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Then one day, I was out of town for a weekend and she begged me to let her stay at my place because hers was getting fumigated. I agreed, thinking it was chill. I came home Sunday night. Benny is hiding under the bed, trembling, looking all scared. I find out she locked him in the laundry room for two days straight because he was staring too much and that made the baby fussy.
Two Hot Takes
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No food, no water bowl, just locked him in there. I lost it. told her she was never setting foot in my house again, and that she was lucky I didn't call animal services. Fast forward a month, and she's going back to work, and suddenly, I'm her first choice for free childcare. She wants me to watch the baby two days a week. I said no.
Two Hot Takes
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She flipped and called me bitter and selfish, and said I clearly don't understand what it means to love family unconditionally. My mom got involved and said I'm being cruel when I could be helping. But this isn't just about a dog. It's about how she treated something I love without remorse and now expects me to drop everything and help her like nothing happened.
Two Hot Takes
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Am I the asshole for saying no to babysitting my nephew because of what she did to my dog?
Two Hot Takes
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Why did you even want to stay at her house? And it's not an aggressive dog. No, but here's something that I have seen come up a little bit in other stories or just maybe documentaries. I'm not sure where exactly I'm pulling this from, but it can be a common thing.
Two Hot Takes
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after people have babies for their attitudes to change towards animals like i remember on tiktok i don't know probably like a year ago or maybe it was reddit again it's in there but i don't know like where exactly there were people sharing stories about how after they had their kids they started hating their own dogs yeah i've seen that actually in real life yeah and so i'm like maybe that's a
Two Hot Takes
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And this is her miracle baby. Maybe she's just like so anxious and dealing with some postpartum anxiety disorder and just doesn't want anything to happen. And she sees the dog, even though it's the sweetest, most lovable dog, as a threat. Does it justify what she did?
Two Hot Takes
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No. Yeah. If you feel that way and you're going to hurt an innocent animal. And disrespect someone's pet in their home when they're gracious enough to let you stay. That's not OK. And you need to go to therapy because this isn't this isn't sustainable. You're going to see dogs on the street. One of the comments, her being like, well, the dog was looking at the baby. Oh, OK. So it deserves to die.
Two Hot Takes
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It's it's a problem. And she really, really needs to get a handle on it.
Two Hot Takes
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Also, no mention of letting the dog out. Yeah, no, because she didn't. Your sister just comes home and has to clean up all that shit and pee. That actually happened to me once. Oh, my God.
Two Hot Takes
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Oh, my God. That's like people that... find like pet sitters on the apps and stuff like that and then have cameras.
Two Hot Takes
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that's insane why why i don't know insane insane top comment not the asshole what she did to benny is horrible you trusted her with him and she locked him and didn't even give him food or water also she has no right to claim your time anyways yeah and two days a week is a lot also what's op going to do with the dog Right. Which is the next comment.
Two Hot Takes
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It also likely conditions the dog to be afraid and or agitated around little kids now. But, like, what are you supposed to do with your dog? Now she doesn't care about your dog in your house?
Two Hot Takes
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Just because she wants the babysitter? Right. Like, so the dog isn't a threat?
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yeah insane i hate when people get manipulative like this too i clearly don't understand what it means to love family unconditionally you're not guaranteed my love if you treat me like shit you almost killed my dog you locked my dog up and abused them no let alone my service to you in and child care two days a week that's a lot of work
Two Hot Takes
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Really is. And the baby was never at risk. No. No. But I'm looking at the clock and I think I've got to start group T with my family on Patreon. Whoa. Is that patreon.com slash two hot takes? Patreon.com slash two hot takes. Or download the app and search two hot takes. There's like a full free bonus episode on there. So come on over. So much free stuff. But Michaela, you're off to Ireland. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
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You got it. Yeah. Watch you like go meet someone over there and just fall in love and never come back.
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Don't know. Luck of the Irish. No, we can't. We can't let her. We can't let her. No. But thank you so much for coming on and being here. It's really, really this theme. I'm like shaking in my boots. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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If you liked this episode, my name is Mikayla. If you didn't like this episode, it's Julie. It's kind of one of those things like when you get a server or like customer service and they joke. It's a good one. It's a good joke. But I can't let you have a short episode. So like I said, I can't let you guys have a short episode.
Two Hot Takes
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An hour and 24 minutes is what that would have been without Justin coming in.
Two Hot Takes
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I'm really excited for this story. I think you're going to be just blown away by it. So without further ado, our very last story for Crash Out. Part one. Because I just recorded part two tonight. So here we go.
Two Hot Takes
215: Justifiable Crash Out?!
Trigger warning on this next one. It does contain some pretty intense conversations around covert incest and covert sexual abuse. So if you can't handle that today, please end the episode now. We loved having you and we'll see you next week. Thank you. This is coming from r slash true off my chest. It is titled, My mother-in-law asked my husband to subscribe to her only fans to support her.
Two Hot Takes
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My mother-in-law, 40 female, has always been very open about sex. When I first met my husband, she managed a sex toy store. About a year ago, she started working towards a degree on sexual health and wellness. She nude models for a local artist. And around a month ago, she started an OnlyFans account. Sex and an openness about it has always been an extraordinarily normal thing for her.
Two Hot Takes
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I have absolutely nothing against her working in the sex industry. That's her forte, and I'm happy that she's doing well and enjoying what she does. However, I've had some slight concerns about it before, not specifically her working in the sex industry or her openness in general, more so how open she is, especially with her own kids.
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For example, my husband and I started dating in high school when she was managing the sex store. I thought you guys might want to try some of these. It always made us both pretty uncomfortable, and it was extremely awkward to have my boyfriend's mom hand me things to try sexually with her son.
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But nonetheless, the most conversation that my husband and I ever had about it back then was about how awkward it was. Awkward and uncomfortable enough that we never actually used these things. They just piled up on a shelf by his bed. Another time while we were dating, fresh out of high school, we were hanging out with his sisters. His mom was still working at the sex toy shop.
Two Hot Takes
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Cannot imagine someone coming up to me, a coworker and rubbing my belly. Yeah. Rubbing. Ma'am, my name is not Buddha. Oh, no. Don't touch me. And then to be like, you have a little bird on the way. Ick. Immediate ick.
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Once in a while, she would come home with silly toys, and on this night, she walked in with a one-foot-long glittery dildo. She playfully whipped it around towards us like a sword. His sisters screamed and ran from her. And for a while, we all laughed and had fun about it. snatching it from one another and chasing each other around with the glitter schlong.
Two Hot Takes
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Eventually, my husband's sister, 17 at the time, said something like, quote, Mom, you better not have brought that home to use. That's crazy. My husband chimed off and, ew, saying he didn't need to think about that. And his mom laughed and replied, oh no, that's silicone. You know the toys I use are glass. Again, my husband made a weird face but didn't say anything.
Two Hot Takes
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When we got to his room, I said that it was weird that his mom talked to her children about what she uses to get her rocks off. And he told me that she's always been way too open about things that none of them wanted to know. That she's always been this way. So he's just gotten used to tuning it out. As time went on, I got used to the openness. And it was just that, being too open,
Two Hot Takes
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about personal stuff within conversation. However, yesterday, the openness went too far. My husband and I were sitting in our living room watching TV. My husband got a text from his mom and opened it and had a visceral reaction. He tossed his phone down, stood up, walked away from it with his hands over his face while saying things like, oh my God, and holy shit under his breath.
Two Hot Takes
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Naturally, I thought someone had died, so I started frantically asking what was wrong. All he said was he didn't want to open his phone again. I asked what was wrong, and he told me that his mom just sent him pictures. I was confused, but my concerns started to grow.
Two Hot Takes
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I asked what he meant by pictures, and he hesitated before saying, quote, I don't want to ask you to look, but I can't open it back up to delete it myself, so I need you to. My stomach dropped. I opened his phone to see what was there and I immediately felt nauseous.
Two Hot Takes
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There was a text that read, quote, Hey, I know you've always supported me and I wanted to see if you'd be willing to subscribe to my OnlyFans so that I can get my numbers up while I'm still getting started. Of course, I don't expect or want you looking through it, but the more subscriber numbers I have, the more engagement I can get.
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I was also wondering if you'd be willing to share my link to some of your friends at work. Husband is in a male-dominated field, blue collar job. The pics I included are to send to them with the link, but don't tell them I'm your mom. And under it was the pictures. there were three nude photos of his mother. And not just naked in a mirror or pick-of-the-boobs kind of photos.
Two Hot Takes
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They were full-on pornographic photos. One of her tied up in BDSM gear, one of her face down, ass up on her bed, and one of her with legs spread and a dildo halfway in her mouth. My blood was boiling. I deleted what she'd sent, and my husband and I were both silent for a moment. I didn't know what else to say or do, so I broke the silence by asking, What now?
Two Hot Takes
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My husband told me to block his mom on his phone, so I did. I asked if this was something his mom has done before, and he said no. He told me that in the past, she asked if he wanted to see pictures of the drawings she posed for. He always felt a bit guilty saying no, so he simply didn't respond when she asked and she never sent it.
Two Hot Takes
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Then my husband went pale and started walking to the bathroom saying he felt sick. While he was in the bathroom, I blocked his mom on my phone as well, including her social medias. When my husband came back out of the bathroom, he called his sister. He asked her if she was with their mom, and when she said no, he explained to her what all had just gone down. His sister was also speechless.
Two Hot Takes
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Then he asked her not to say anything to other family members right now and explained that neither him or I would be in contact with their mom for a while. He also told her that any time we were home for a visit, he would let his sisters know so that we could plan to see them, but that his mom would not be included in those plans from here on out.
Two Hot Takes
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My mother-in-law quickly realized she was blocked on everything by both of us, and by that night, she had the whole family blowing up our phones asking why. The constant messages haven't stopped, and so far we've just muted our phones as we don't even know what to say. How do you explain that your mother sent you homemade porn?
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She totally is. She's completely desensitized to it. And it's honestly so disgusting. Like, there's nothing wrong with... The human body. And, you know, I know a lot of people end up taking care of their parents later in life and you see things. But to be sent.
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Yeah. Like that feels like an HR thing. But her boss thinks that she was the one who was weird. I know, which the top comment does get into the boss a little bit. So top comment with nine point six K upvotes. Not the asshole. Your boss was just giving their initial reaction to one employee verbally snapping at the other.
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Exactly. To be sent explicit images, pornographic images, poses with sex toys in her mouth and her tied up. And that is insane. Yeah. Asking him to share with his work colleagues?
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Who's this older woman that you're sharing that looks kind of like you, dude? This is weird. It's just so unprofessional and like not something he would ever entertain. No. And insane of her to ask.
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I don't know. And I fully support people having OnlyFans and doing that and sex work becoming more legalized and whatever. People should be able to do what they want with their bodies.
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But don't involve your children. And I think there's something... I think there's a difference between openly talking about sex and healthy relationships and not healthy relationships and just a general conversation about different types of sex and whatever when your kids are 17, 18, 19. Yeah. You know, when they're age appropriate, whatever.
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But to bring home dildos and expose them to these things and openly talk about what you're using when they're in high school still feels really inappropriate. It's reminded me of a Reddit story I read.
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where someone was writing in and they were like my parents had sex with me and my sister in the room constantly growing up like even into our teenage years and me and my sister are both asexual like we are just so put off by what we because of that yeah and so i just think like it's just not appropriate and so i'm like trying to like oh i'm like if she would have just sent him the link like
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But for her to be like, will you subscribe? Will you share these pictures?
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Does she not know how a phone works? Those aren't going to be blurred.
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There's gotta be. Can you imagine... Your mom doing this to you?
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I wouldn't worry about that unless it is followed up with comments confirming they believe you are in the wrong. Namely, quote, quote, quote, quote. I am not pregnant, and I don't appreciate such speculation about my personal life or private reproductive issues at the office.
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Or my mom, like my mom doing this to you. Like that is insane. Insane, unhinged, terrible, repugnant behavior.
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It was very mild. I didn't, I had not read this story until just now.
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What do you do? Like, what do you do? How do you navigate this? What the hell?
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Absolutely not. And then not say anything? We're telling them.
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Honestly, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. She crossed an insane boundary. Insane boundary. Top comment on this one is deleted. But the next one down is it's it's pretty long, but they have a line here that says, I'm sorry that she is sex obsessed, not just sex positive. Her kink seems to be crossing boundaries with children. And in no universe is that OK?
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And then someone goes to add, OP, if you can recover just the text from his deleted folder, I would send all of the people coming at you with a screenshot with the added note that you're sparing them the disgusting photos that were included. OP responds, later today, I'll be doing just that.
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My husband has already brought it up to me and I plan to recover the messages and photos, screenshotting them and marking over her, should be, private areas. That way, should we need it, we have the evidence.
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No. And this is all of these reactions from O.P. and the husband, a.k.a. like this woman's son. Justifiable. This is insane behavior. I would be crashing out harder. I would have immediately put myself on a flight to the North Pole or Antarctica as far away from her as I could possibly get.
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And I might have filed an emancipation order to become illegally, illegally separated from her because I just like the fact that your mom would send you that shit is fucking insane.
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Next comment. That's pretty upvoted. How do you explain that your mom sent you homemade porn? Like quoting OP? Well, exactly like that, actually. Dear extended family, my mother crossed the line for me by sending me pornographic images slash homemade porn featuring herself without any warning. I'm disturbed slash shaken up by her oversharing and me and my wife are taking some space for now.
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So there is a comment here that talks about covert incest. And they say covert incest is a form of non-physical sexual abuse.
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Examples of this could be the parent sharing intimate graphic details of their own sex life to the child, practicing voyeurism, exhibitionism, inappropriate sharing of images, and similar behaviors that, while still being sexual abuse, are described as covert for their intangible nature. That fucking fits everything she's done. OP sees it and responds. Thank you for this comment.
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I've never heard of covert incest, but now I know exactly what is going on. And my husband and I both have some reading up to do.
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I also found it jarring when co-worker rubbed my abdomen today without warning or consent, again indicating I was pregnant. I realize some may think these things are no big deal and assume others feel the same way. Thus, I want to be perfectly clear that I do not welcome the comments or the touching.
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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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I know. I do definitely think based on her history and everything OP shared, it definitely is seeming like that. And I think because of everything, like you can't trust her. You can't trust her to not send you things. You definitely can't trust her with your children if you have any. Like you cannot trust her.
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It's just not worth having a relationship with her unless it's, hey, I'll meet you for lunch at Denny's one Saturday a month. But that's it.
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With the influencer, they were like having their three-year-old suck on like a penis popsicle.
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Yeah. We do have some other context from OP like about how bad it was to for the mom to be like, hey, share this with your coworkers. And someone just is kind of commenting, like, tell your husband he needs to email his mom and, like, tell her he's taking a break. This request that she sent those personal pictures of herself to coworkers is highly inappropriate.
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Whether or not he told them she was a relative, that is his job. And OP does say, husband is in the military. It isn't just a firing. It's a sharp case with a dishonorable discharge. Dishonorable discharge, no job, no pension, no benefits. That is career-ending, life-altering. That fucking, that follows you.
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Many asked for an update, so here's a small one. My husband got home from work today. He did have me recover the messages for evidence, should it be needed. I screenshotted the messages with timestamps and each of the photos. In the photos, I scribbled over her not-so-private areas as well.
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After that, I sent the images to my phone and once again deleted the messages from his phone, both in his mother's text and mine, per husband's request. This was something that several people suggested in the comments of my previous post, and believe me, we were on the same page before I even read them. My husband and I are also regulars in therapy, both individual and couples counseling.
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That is unreal. Like, that is so concise and just articulate of the situation and how jarring it really is.
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When we got married, we agreed that doing counseling from the get-go was a good idea, not because we have problems in our marriage, but it gives us the tools to confront issues in the future and keeps us on the same page. That being said, I asked my husband if he'd ever mentioned his mother's sexualness in his own therapy, and he said no.
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Since it is how he's always been raised, he saw it as mostly normal. I suggested that this should most definitely be brought up at his next session, and he agreed. I also asked if there was anything that has happened that was a bit overboard in the past.
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Outside of conversation, he said that his mother would often come home from work with new lingerie and she would put it on and wear it around the house for the rest of the night as if they were regular clothes. When she would do this, he would either stay in his room or go to a friend's house because it made him uncomfortable.
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Several people asked why there hasn't been a conversation about her talking about uncomfortable topics. There has been. When my husband and I were dating, both of us minors, she would talk to my about our sex life explicitly. Some of the questions she asked him are if he likes girls who are
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clean-shaven, if him and I were using lube, if I preferred rib condoms, if we had tried certain positions, even if I preferred stimulation via clitoris or G-spot. When she would ask these things, my husband simply wouldn't answer with more than, I don't know, but eventually he did tell her to stop.
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He told her that he didn't want to talk about these things with her, and that her asking these things made him extremely uncomfortable. Her response was to get defensive and act as if she'd been disrespected. She would say that sex was normal and that she should be able to have these conversations with her son. She even accused him of shaming her sexually.
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So he went back to ignoring the questions altogether. Some suggested that we have an in-person conversation with her about this happening. Not only do we live far away, but we aren't ready for a conversation about it, and we especially aren't ready to discuss it in person.
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This happened yesterday afternoon, and it will honestly be a very long time before any sort of communication happens with her at all. I did find out what she had been telling family. She's telling them that she asked if her son supported her, not if he would subscribe and share her content. That is why family has been reaching out and asking why we've blocked her for asking that.
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We will be telling family exactly what happened, but we aren't quite ready to do so yet. That will come in the next few days. We're still processing all of what's going on. My husband has a therapy session tomorrow and we have one together the next day. We will likely wait to talk about this with his family until after our sessions.
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That way we can get our ducks in a row a bit more and we are even considering legal action. Again, this is something we will bring up with our therapist before continuing. That is the main reason we took screenshot evidence. For those curious, yes, mother-in-law is young. She had my husband at 16, 17 and we got married young as well. Very common among my family and in the field of work he is in.
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And that field of work is the military, so him sharing his mother's content would heavily affect him. That's all I have for an update for now, but trust there will be another. Thanks so much for all of the advice and support I received on my last post. I seriously gained such good info from the comments and it's been really helpful.
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No. Like, fuck off. You're coworkers. Yeah. Ew. Next comment down. Don't mention raising your voice at all. Just complain about the coworker touching you and continually calling you pregnant. Someone would be fired at my work if they started touching a woman's belly and saying they were pregnant.
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No. Speaking of background info, there's a comment here that someone asks, and they go, does husband look a lot like his bio father? And OP goes, actually crazy that you mention it. My husband looks exactly like his bio dad. I mean, down to the hair color, same eyes. And when my husband has facial hair, it is uncanny. He even has a similar tattoo in a similar spot that his bio dad had.
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Of course, we had no idea at the time because my husband's dad walked out when he was very young. But after he'd gotten that tattoo, his mother mentioned that it was in the same spot. And with the exception of a few details, it was practically the same tattoo.
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Weirder things have happened, but that makes this even more incestuous. Final update, which is coming from May 1st. So just a few short days ago.
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My husband and I have spoken with therapists about the entire situation, and we've drawn a conclusion to how we will handle things. As advised by our therapist and based on what we've planned ourselves, my mother-in-law will be cut off until she does the self-work and is no longer overly sexual towards family. That being said, my husband and I are prepared for her to be cut off permanently.
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She will likely not attend therapy herself as she sees it as unimportant. I'm not sure if her opinion comes from her visiting a therapist previously, but she does believe that therapists just tell you everything wrong with yourself and why you need to change. They don't actually try to help your mental health. They just make it worse.
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I'm sure everyone can imagine what has caused her to draw those conclusions. As of now, husband and I will not be pushing legal action. We've decided that for us at the time, we would prefer to lay down the law in what we feel comfortable with. If that is respected, that is great and nothing more will come of it on our end.
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That's what I'm saying. You just can't go around touching people.
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If that isn't respected and there are more attempts to reach us, such creating accounts, etc., we will most likely seek out a restraining order. As I mentioned in a previous update, I've saved the screenshots from the original issue, so we will have that to present if needed. On to family.
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As a reminder, husband's side of the family was blowing up our phones asking why we would block mother-in-law. We told them everything that happened. Didn't send the photos, of course, but did describe them. Things were understood quickly and nothing more was said. I don't know if family has taken it upon themselves to confront mother-in-law about this. If they have, great. She needs it.
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If they haven't, oh well. Now, from my own perspective, I was raised in a family where everything was very taboo. Sex, sexuality, our bodies, even our periods were difficult to talk about. So much so that when my mom found out I had a crush on a boy when I was 13, I cried and profusely apologized because I thought I would be in a lot of trouble.
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Asking questions wasn't okay either, so when I did have questions, I couldn't simply ask. For example, I overheard my mom say the word porn, and I didn't know what it meant. When I asked my parents what that word porn was, I got sent to my room. So at seven years old, I grabbed the family tablet and Googled porn, saw a bunch of naked people, got scared, put the iPad back in the living room.
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When my parents checked the search history that night, I was screamed at and not allowed to touch electronics for the rest of the year. With all of that in mind, a sex-positive family was so incredibly foreign to me. The idea of being able to go to your mom, ask about sex or your body, and have a conversation instead of getting in trouble was completely new.
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When my husband and I were dating, I never knew that his mom was going too far. I thought that was simply sex positivity. Of course, I had intuition that things went too far at times, like when I questioned the toy conversation. But when the response to my questions were, she's just really open, I chalked it up to that and didn't really question it anymore.
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Let us know. I want all the tea. Has this happened in your office?
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To answer some common questions, my mother-in-law is not this much when it comes to my sister-in-law's I always assumed it was because they were younger, but the pictures being sent to only my husband really hammered the nail into the covert incest coffin. Come to find out, mother-in-law also isn't quite as open with sister-in-laws.
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She's open about her own doings, but doesn't meddle in their own like she did with my husband. I mentioned before that she would question my husband on our sex life when we were dating. Another phone call with my middle sister-in-law revealed that she's absolutely never done that to the girls.
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In fact, there have been times where she's overheard my sister-in-laws saying something about their boyfriends, and she would say, Eh, lower your voice. I don't want to know. Whereas she would straight up ask my husband about sex. Another common question, where's father-in-law? He's never been in the picture. My husband's dad left when mother-in-law was pregnant with her youngest daughter.
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Mother-in-law also doesn't have a father herself because he left when she was a baby. And there aren't a lot of men in the family. Two distant uncles, a few cousins. But as far as close family, my husband was the only male grown up. And yes, some people got it right. My husband looks exactly like his bio dad. This fact makes this even more gross altogether. And finally, no, we don't have children.
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However, I've always had concerns about leaving children alone with her because of her openness. I will know when my future children are ready to know about certain topics. Those conversations will come from my husband and I and only us.
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I have always been concerned that mother-in-law would discard our opinions on that and give our future children the birds and the bees talk whenever she felt like it. Unless she cannot fix whatever is wrong in her brain, she will not ever be alone with our kids and even possibly know them. But overall, this is my final in this whole situation.
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I feel like I get it so much right now. I don't know. Like maybe it's the wedding. Maybe it's like age I'm at. But the amount of people that ask me like, when do you want to have kids? When are you guys going to start trying? You guys have kids? Oh my God. So excited for when you start trying. And granted, she's like seven.
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The original post was removed in this sub, so it's been reposted on my personal page for those interested. I'll remain active on this account to answer questions. Thank you so much to everyone for all the advice. I didn't even know the term covert incest before posting and I'm grateful I do now.
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It's given my husband and I something to do a little research about and it's changed our perspective on the past quite a bit. My husband and I will be taking all this into therapy more and discussing it on our sessions. Again, thank you, everyone.
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That was a crazy fucking note to end on. Honestly, as bad of a situation as it is, they're handling it so well. And I know they're going to be okay. It sucks to lose like a parent. Like when you have to cut off a parent that's still alive. That fucking sucks. That sucks. It's such a loss.
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No. And she needs help. And hopefully she gets it or at least realizes the bridges she burned with her son, with her kids. And it is so weird. I mean, there's something, something off. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Well, guys, thank you so much for being here another episode. I am so sorry if you're shaking up. I am. I don't have many words to say. I'm like still processing this one.
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But there's a bunch of free content on Patreon. Go over there. Get yourself a palate cleanser. But thank you. Back next week with part two of Justifiable Crash Out.
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Yeah. No, this is, I honestly want her to like go harder, but until next time.
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But I'm like, my niece this weekend was like, she said the funniest shit this weekend. First, she said, when you have kids, don't let them watch TV because they'll become addicted. Oh. I know. And I asked, I go, Eloise, are you addicted? And she goes, yeah. Wait, Eloise is a diva. That's amazing. She's so smart. I'm like, Eloise, you got to get outside more, girl. And then she said something.
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Thank you. I really feel like my skills are improving. Maybe I won't slur any words today. Lies. I literally just said to I've had 40 ounces of coffee and today the energy we will create in the studio. I am scared.
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She's like, well, when you have kids and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, I'm so excited for you to be pregnant. I'm like, don't wish that upon me right now. Right? Like, save it. Let's save that juju for later.
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couple years here i can show up in a much better way if we save these well wishes for like don't you want the fun aunt that like pays for college like come on wait yeah she's blocking her blessings she could be she could be by wishing that baby dust on me but i i just think it's so interesting and i i do think people have gotten better about asking or implying and not crossing boundaries but
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I would never ever touch somebody yeah especially not a co-worker I don't need I wouldn't do that to a friend either go up and just like rub their belly unprovoked no also then I wouldn't have friends they'd be like Mikayla is a weirdo I know even my friends that have been pregnant I've always I'm this is probably a me thing I've always been really uncomfortable to just like
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That pissed me off. I could see that. Yeah. OP, I'm like trying to see if there's any other comments we should get into before we move along. OP has been commenting in the Too Hot Takes subreddit. Oh, in the Too Hot Takes subreddit. Hey, girl. Hey. Wow. And we do have a couple other comments about, you know, this situation and kind of some more context.
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So Opie goes, I am starting to think that she, in fact, is obsessed with me being pregnant. She is always making comments about me getting pregnant, even though I told her I'm not interested in that, nor is my husband. He even got a vasectomy because we don't want kids. She got pregnant old, so she thinks I'm going to change my mind.
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Most of the time, she's a very sweet lady, but this one thing is driving me crazy. Also, even though we are in Texas, she is from Latin America, and I know it's a cultural thing too.
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Yeah. I could see the wanting to convince thing, especially if there's religious reasons behind it. Repopulate.
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Yeah. There's one other comment from OP here. Just a lot of people are asking about weight or how OP looks, which...
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Doesn't matter. Yeah. And Opie goes, I've seen some comments speculating about my weight or how I look, which honestly made me laugh. None of these people have even seen a picture of me. For the record, I'm not overweight. I'm also not obsessed with weight or scared of being fat. But that's not the point at all. The real issue is I don't even look pregnant.
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I mean, it's kind of the theme. Crashing out. Crashing out. I've come across a lot of Reddit stories lately and I'm like, oh, justifiable crash out or not justifiable. And someone put this in the comments of last week's episode that we did. And I was like, okay, I love this theme. Immediately adding it to my little sticky note.
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So it's even weirder and more inappropriate that she felt the need to touch my body and comment like that. At the end of the day, I think she's just one of those people who believes that because something happened to her a certain way, she had kids later in life. Yeah. It's bound to happen to everyone else, too. But that's not how life works.
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So crazy. And it's so wild to touch someone's stomach that you don't know for sure if they're pregnant or not.
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I know there's, there's a comment too. And it's kind of reminding me, um, it's like a quote about disability. It's like people saying like my disability isn't what disables me. It's the world.
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Like it's, there's a saying and I'm, I'm not remembering it exactly right now, but it's, it's more so that it's like, it's like, I'm, I'm good. It's how others treat me. It's how the world doesn't create a space that enables me. And it's just, it's frustrating, really frustrating.
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but okay we have no updates from op on this one no idea if the wedding is off yet i mean it's nine years old and uh yeah that's all we got so we're gonna have to keep keep our eyes peeled see if anything comes of this one damn But moving along. Moving along.
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Okay, this next one is coming from r slash relationship advice, three days old, titled, Boyfriend's behavior in restaurants leaves me embarrassed. How can I avoid these scenarios? Whenever me, 27 female, and my boyfriend, 29 male, go to a restaurant, he will often order something that he envisions in a certain way in his head, which is different from the way it's actually supposed to be.
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And when his food arrives, he starts complaining that it's not what he had in mind. Mind you, this occurs 8 out of 10 times. For instance, yesterday he ordered an espresso macchiato.
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A couple of minutes later, the waiter brings him exactly that, after which he freaks out, whining about not being able to get a decent coffee, why he always has to suffer from getting this little shitty-ass cup of coffee. I used to work as a barista, so I know my way around coffee, and I explained that he got a perfectly prepared espresso macchiato.
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Apparently, he automatically assumed that he would get a large cup of black coffee with milk, just because of the word macchiato. Then, this morning, whilst we were getting brunch, I recommended him the toasted sandwiches, pointing at the list of ingredients, reading the name of it out loud simultaneously. He liked the sound of veggie cheese, so he agreed to that.
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The waiter brings his veggie toast. He whips the sandwich open, frantically searching for the eggs. I asked him, what eggs? He tells me he understood eggs and cheese instead of veggie cheese and didn't bother to look at the menu as he trusted me. This was probably the fifth time in a row that the same incident occurs.
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And I'm getting frustrated with him, refusing to learn at least a few basic types of coffee since he's already consuming it on a regular basis, ending up causing a scene. Literally not one of my friends has ever done something remotely similar to this. How am I supposed to handle this behavior?
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I'm sure he's freaking out being like, I don't want to eat this. I want something else.
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Uh-huh, the restaurant. He's probably being like, send this back. I don't want this. This isn't what I ordered. I don't want these, the eggies and cheese.
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I don't know. The top comment on this one. Okay, let's hear it. Let's go. I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like he's straight up stupid. Oh, ouch. I mean, like, what? I have no explanation for this, except, like, maybe he's been enabled so long. But, like, in what word? His mom picked out all of his meals or something. Probably cuts his food up for him still. Maybe.
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But in what world would I would never be like macchiato must be a black coffee with some milk in it. That would be coffee with milk, coffee with cream.
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That's how we started. Yeah. That's how we started. Literally, this whole idea came about. Really, like, I think the first text I ever had was, like, 2019. Like, let's start a podcast. But it really got brought to life because of COVID and, like, being so bored and alone and scared and depressed that, like, we were sending Reddit stories back and forth. And I would send them to everyone.
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Like I don't think I've ever, ever ordered a macchiato. So my understanding and I'm not a barista, never have been. They're all similar, but have different amounts of espresso to cream or milk ratios. So a macchiato is an espresso drink with a small amount of steamed or foamed milk. The word macchiato is Italian for marked or stained. That's a cute name.
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Here I am looking up differences between a cappuccino and a macchiato. A cappuccino has significantly larger proportion of steamed milk when compared to a macchiato, which only has a small amount. Nice. So baristas chime in, but that's the vibe I'm getting. Okay, so what does she do?
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There is a comment here that OP responds to. He sounds like a child. Has he just been spoon fed by his parents his entire life? This is a 27 year old. OP responds, no, I'm 27. He's 29. And the person goes, why do you put up with this? Endope goes, I haven't known him that long, and I've noticed these cases in the past few weeks. Nothing similar beforehand. Hmm.
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You got to reel it in a little bit. But I wonder again, like I'm thinking about the scar. I'm thinking about this. I'm like, he didn't do it initially. This is a recent thing over the past couple of weeks. Is this a test? Is he trying to get her to break up with him because he doesn't want to?
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It would be a really weird way. People have done weirder. Creative. People have done a lot weirder.
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You could burn their house down. Ordering stuff at a restaurant and pretending it's not what you wanted. Burning their house down.
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Well, we have no updates on if they're breaking up or not. I mean, this is three days old, and I'm curious about an update, OP. So if you're out there, let us know what you do.
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And I'm like... Really probably starting to annoy everyone. Like, what about a podcast? And that's what it was. It was just like talking through these stories, trying to understand them, giving some takes. And it's turned into all of this. Yeah.
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Let us know. Active account, though. Posting things as recent as one day ago. Oh, okay. So, OP, chime in. Tell us. Come on. Are you breaking up? Okay, moving on to the very last story I have with you two.
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Lauren got really scared over there. So this is coming from r slash true off my chest, 13 days old. It is titled, My husband lied about coming to help me while I was critically sick. I, 28 female, have been married to my husband, 32 male, for three years. We have a one-year-old daughter together. Up until recently, I thought I could count on him when I truly needed him.
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But last week, he proved me completely wrong. I'd been feeling off for a couple of days, fatigued, nauseous, just generally unwell. Then one morning I woke up with a fever, chills, and a deep sense that something was really wrong. I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. Taking care of our daughter felt impossible. I called my husband at work and told him I needed him to come home.
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He promised he would. An hour passed, then two. He kept texting me, saying he was just finishing up something and would leave soon. Then he claimed he was stuck in traffic. Then he said he was on his way but had to stop for gas. At this point, my fever was getting worse and I was struggling to even sit up without feeling dizzy. I told him it was urgent. He reassured me he was almost there.
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But something felt off. So I texted one of his coworkers, someone I knew he was close with. The response I got sent a chill down my spine. Quote, he hasn't left yet. He's still here. Oh, my God. Wow. Two hours later, while I was lying in that hospital bed, shaking from fever and hooked up to an IV, my husband finally decided to show up. Fuck you. I didn't even want to look at him. Nope.
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And that he was just trying to wrap things up at work. But I can't get over the fact that he lied to me over and over while I was at home struggling to stay conscious. If my neighbor hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened to me. I feel so betrayed. If he could ignore me in a life-threatening situation, what does that say about our marriage? About our future?
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About our daughter's safety if something ever happens again? I don't know what to do. Would you be able to trust your partner after something like this? No.
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Like, why would he lie? Why couldn't he be like, hey, babe, I'm tied up at work. Can you call the neighbor? Can you call your sister? Can you call your friend? Like, if you can't make it there, why lie? Why? Oh, I'm stuck in traffic. Oh, I have to stop and get gas. Okay, that still shouldn't take you two hours.
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Who even cares? Like, a job is replaceable. A person, not so much. People die from septic shock all the time. Like, it's not that far-fetched. And I know, like, some people could be devils advocating this and be like, well, why didn't she call an ambulance? Well... If you live in the United States, ambulances aren't affordable for most people. Insurance, maybe she doesn't have it.
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And you have a one-year-old. Like, you have a baby. You're supposed to come home, help me, and so then take care of our baby. Like, it's not just like, oh, I can get myself in an ambulance. It's like, okay, well, what about this little one? Like, you have a duty to your family. And for him to be like, well, I didn't know it was that bad. I'm telling you it's that bad. Believe me. I'm dizzy.
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Apparently it's a word. Wow. At least according to Wiktionary, we got our little wordy over here.
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may refer to a song by R.J. Merla. Yeah, that's what you meant. Or a word that means worthy or merito. That's a big word by Elmo. Meritorious? Like of merit? Yeah, no, I think you nailed it. Look at you.
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Well, people in the comments sure do. They have a lot of words. Top comment, yeah, no, I couldn't do this either. If you had waited for him and had gone into septic shock and probably ultimately died, what would he have done then? That could have 100% been prevented if he just came home when you asked.
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He gives more loyalty to a job that will just replace him when it's his time over his wife who he chose to love in sickness and health. Pretty much. Crazy. We do have some comments from OP because people had questions. People had a lot of questions. So the first question that OP responds to is this. I'm not sure if this even matters, but was he panicked? Clearly not, right?
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Did he come in realizing exactly how bad he screwed up? Was he terrified that something bad could have happened to you because he lied to you? Or was it just, oh, sorry, I didn't realize? If it was the second, we'd be done.
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If it was the first, definitely going to take a lot of work on his part to show that he is an honest, dependable partner who loves and cares for and will prioritize you and your daughter and definitely counseling. OP responds, he acts like nothing happened.
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No guilt, no remorse. He just keeps making excuses and minimizing everything. He even told me I should have just gone to the hospital earlier with my neighbor instead of waiting around for him. But the only reason I waited was because he kept telling me he was on his way. I also didn't want to leave my baby with my elderly neighbor unless it was absolutely necessary.
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That's the energy it's giving. There's a comment here that OP responds to. Someone says, he has shown you who he is. The decision is yours now. Is this a pattern or a one-off? And OP says, you could say it's a pattern, although the previous times were for much less important things. He has often put his work, his family, etc. before us. And someone comments back to that, you are his family too.
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Yeah. There's a couple other comments here I want to get into. It's just quite strange to me. Like, OP says, I needed someone to take care of my daughter. That's why I was waiting for him. And someone was basically implying, like, why didn't you just call an ambulance? Also, I'm in a rural area and the ambulance takes just as long to arrive as he should have. Yeah.
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Also, why are we even like shaming her? Maybe it wasn't intended that way, but like, I don't know. So someone goes, if you didn't tell him you needed to go to the hospital, you were kind of making a bigger deal than it needs to be.
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And I'm not saying you're wrong because I would be extremely pissed off, but your initial symptoms to me would have sounded like you simply just had the flu because that's exactly what I felt like when I had the flu right a week ago. and he might not have been taking it at that. Seriously.
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Now, if you had told him you needed to go to the hospital, that's a completely different situation to begin with. But to him, he's thinking you're probably just sick with a fever and have the flu, and he'll be home to take care of you at some point.
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So OP responds to that. I told him. I didn't want to say it because it's embarrassing, but I even ended up wetting myself because I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Oh, my God. He knew that when he was lying, saying he was about to arrive. Oh. Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me.
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Get there. Well, you guys, we have an update on this one. Oh. We have an update. Let's hear it. Posted 10 days ago. I'm feeling better and finally back home after a few days in the hospital. A few days.
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My parents came to pick up my daughter and take care of her while I was away. They live four hours away, so I hadn't asked them for help earlier. I didn't really get an apology from him, just a bunch of excuses. He said he didn't think it was that serious, and I should have gone to the neighbor if it was really that bad.
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I didn't argue, not because I agree, but because some of the comments I got made me realize some things. People asked if I'm the type to cry wolf, and that's why he didn't come. In five years of being together, I've only ever needed him to take me to the hospital once, when I gave birth to our daughter.
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He wasn't there when I was sick, and if he had come home, he probably wouldn't have done much anyways if it didn't need a hospital. But then someone asked me what I would do if it was our daughter in my position, and he acted the same way. That hit me hard. And as dramatic as it sounds, I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't think I can ever trust him again. Yeah.
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I've made an appointment with a lawyer, but of course, divorce takes time. I'm looking for an apartment, but the housing shortage is a nightmare. Since I live in a rural area, though, there's still hope. I haven't told him yet. He's acting like nothing's wrong. So I'm doing the same.
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I even saw some comments suggesting that he might not have actually been at work, maybe using it as an excuse for something else. So one night while he was sleeping, I checked his phone. I didn't find proof he was not at work, but I did find messages to women. Multiple flirty ones. Oh. And a Tinder app. Wow. These messages have been going on for months. Wow. He's the worst.
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Okay, are we ready for this first one? Yes. Okay. This first one is coming from A-I-T-A-H, 8 Days Old, titled, Am I the asshole for deciding to postpone the wedding over a comment my fiancé made about my scar? I, female, have a visible scar on the side of my neck. It's been there for over six years and no one has ever commented on it or made any negative remarks about it.
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He is the absolute worst. He was also sending TikToks to his friends while I was sick, laughing and joking around with no real concern for me. He told me his boss refused to give him time off. I found no evidence that he even asked for time off or discussed my condition with anyone.
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I'm starting to suspect he lied because if he really did ask, it would have been illegal for his boss to deny him leave where I live. At this point, I don't feel like confronting him. I just want out. I ignored the red flags before, the small lies, broken promises, and I shouldn't have. I thought he'd be there for me when it mattered most, but I guess I was naive.
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I never thought anyone could let me down like this. I'm not telling him I'm leaving until I'm ready, just like he didn't tell me he wasn't coming. Ooh, a poetic ending.
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Yeah, he's cheating. Emotionally cheating at the very least. Yeah, exactly. Tinder. Yeah. You're married for three years, you have a one-year-old baby, and you're on Tinder. Tinder. To make friends? This ain't Bumbled BFF, bitch. Come on. Oh my gosh. I just... I'm so happy for her. Me too. I'm so happy for her.
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I mean, there's a few other comments from OP basically just being like he wouldn't have lost his job. We're very protected here. Honestly, I care less about the cheating than the fact he could have let me die and didn't care. And it's over. This is over. It's so over. If I was talking to my partner saying, I'm super sick. I just peed myself. I'm dizzy. I can't move. I can't get out of bed.
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And I found out they were sending their buddies TikToks and laughing while I'm dying. Yeah. Oh. Oh my gosh. The rage I feel.
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Like this is family. This is your wife. Like Insane. Insane. But again, happy she's getting out. And I think that is the best plan of action. Like stockpile some money, get your go bag ready and go when you are prepared. Yeah. Goofy. But thank you guys for teeing up this episode with me. Little bit of a different episode this week. We are jumping in to three amazing guest co-hosts.
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We've got Chris Clemons, Michaela Oakland, and Spencer Hunt coming up. So enjoy the rest of this episode. I'm so excited that you all are here. I appreciate you all so much and for being a part of this journey with us. I don't feel like this is real life. I still am like pinch me like this is so insane. And I'm just remember when you actually did. You've got the delicate skin of my underarm.
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But I'm just so thankful for each and every one of you. And I hope you love these stories coming up. Okay. Yeah. Have a fun rest of the show. On to the next one. Bye. Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay. Our next magical act, Michaela Oakland, everyone. Hi. If you're new here, yeah, there's an occasional air horn or two. Not saying I'm good, but... I thought it was a good air horn.
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However, my fiancé would make comments about my scar and make it seem as flirting. Like, for instance, complaining he has kissed every part of my body except my neck because of the scar. And how the scar, quote, looked like a kid messed up such a great art, referring to my look. Oh, no. Et cetera, et cetera.
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I should get a sound pad. That would be maybe now in this new era of Too Hot Takes. We'll bring in a sound pad.
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Yeah. That's it. Oh, and there's video on Spotify now. And a sound pad. The sound pad, though, is what we're all here for, right? Mikayla, we... How long have we been friends now? Like, I think... Since the pod pretty much started at least.
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Oh, it's such a fun podcast. I love the dynamic you two have. And as you guys will see as you get into the show, or if you're a regular, you know, Mikayla's a regular and you will be seeing a lot more of her this year. Even more, like more, so much more. I'll be here in this chair. It's going to be so good. I'm really excited to see what you think on these stories.
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I'm really excited. This one is just... I don't know. I'm scared to refresh because it's very contentious. You will see. Oh, wow. You think it'll get removed? Oh, yeah. Okay. I think OP might remove it. Wow. So here we go. This is coming from AITAH, six hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for posting my friend's story on Reddit as my own and accidentally ruining her parents' marriage? Oh, okay.
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Yep. Here we go, guys. Buckle up. Two months ago, my best friend's, Valerie's, boyfriend, Derek, began ghosting her upon meeting her parents. She was upset about this and came to me for advice. I'm not good at giving people advice and felt bad for not really being able to help her out. I'd seen many people asking Reddit for advice, and it seemed like the advice was genuinely really helpful.
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I considered suggesting my friend post it but she does not use a lot of social media so I thought it would be a good idea if I made the post as if it was my story and passed on some of the helpful feedback I got. Here is where I may be the asshole. I made the post, changed the names and some details to stay anonymous, and some of the advice was good. I told her, and she took some of it.
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She spoke to her mom, who is a high school teacher, and she discovered that back when Derek, her boyfriend, was in high school, when he was 19, they slept together. Oh my God. Valerie talked to Derek and they mutually broke up. My friend's mom told her that her father was aware of this and they worked it out. I got a lot of comments begging for updates.
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So I did, since I didn't think there'd be any harm. A couple of days ago, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from Valerie. I called her back and she began yelling at me, asking if I had posted her story on the internet. I initially denied it until she sent me screenshots from my post and other screenshots from my account that proved it was mine.
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I told him I didn't appreciate it, even if he was using the scar to be flirty with me, but he insisted he loves me anyways. How is that flirty?
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I confessed and tried to explain to her why I made the post. She was still angry and yelled at me, saying that my reasons were lousy and that I only made the post because I wanted attention and was jealous of her. I apologized for not asking for permission, but told her I was just trying to help and she shouldn't be so mad.
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I offered to take the post down, but she shouted, saying it was too late now, and hung up the call. She refused to talk to me, but after talking to mutual friends, I found out that Derek found my Reddit post and assumed it was Valerie's. She had him blocked, so he messaged her mom, asking her to tell Valerie to take down the post and unblock him so they could talk about this.
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Valerie's dad saw the text from Derek, and turns out her mom had lied.
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The dad had no idea. He read the story, and after a lot of denying, the mom eventually confessed. They're getting a divorce. Valerie's dad is really distraught and will be moving in with his brother a couple of states away. Valerie's mom called her, accusing her of posting the Reddit story and ruining her marriage.
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After being really confused, Valerie figured out the account was mine after looking through my other posts. Valerie is telling everyone that I ruined her family, and all of my friends think I am an asshole for posting her story, whether I had good intentions or not.
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I guess I shouldn't have made the post without asking, but I had genuinely good intentions, and I never thought that the post would be found by anyone involved. Also, I feel like the cheater is the one who ruined their family, not me. So, am I the asshole?
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He laughed and said, quote, Absolutely not. I was stunned when he said that, especially in front of his family. I was so upset I got up and walked out of the room. We had a big fight and he kept saying I was being a drama queen and that he said nothing wrong. He doubled down when I said I'd consider postponing the wedding because of his comment. And then he called me crazy.
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But nuts. So, so excited to be a part of the Spotify family. It has been four years of hard work, a lot of episodes to get us here, but we are in a new era, and it is so, so crazy exciting. We're grateful. We're thankful. I'm blown away. I'm just overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed, and I'm a little scared because I'm... nervous how many people are seeing our face for the first time.
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Oh, well, posting updates and then posting this post, reiterating everything that happened. Yeah. They didn't learn their lesson at all. No.
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Like what? Just, I mean, you didn't have to give us a full rundown. You could have been like, hey, I'm not the asshole. I posted something about my friend's life to try to get advice. But it ended up getting out that, you know, it was out there and family's upset now. Like, I was just trying to be helpful, though. But like, you need to re-air everything.
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Dude, because it's like she lost her boyfriend, found out her mom had an affair... Her mom is blaming her and now maybe cutting her off. Yeah. Dad found out getting divorced. So your parents are splitting up like this is like earth shattering.
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I'm looking at this person's account. Account as old as a year. So it doesn't seem like this is just an account that was created to make this troll post, right?
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And so looking at the other posts, there's one on r slash cat advice, seven months old. My cat is sick. What can I do to make him happier and more comfortable? Posting in r slash Danny Gonzalez, Umbrella Academy subreddits.
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Especially when you're sharing details like, my cat is around nine years old and he is really fat. The vet says he's not at the point where it's detrimental to his health yet, but he keeps gaining weight. Like, oh, my God, my friend kept telling me, oh, my cat is getting really fat and I don't know what to do on top of finding a post on their account. That sounds like my life.
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I'd be like, yeah, that's my life. A plus B equals C. Exactly. Quacks like a duck walks like a duck. It's a duck. Looking at the post, though, the original post that she posted asking for advice, two months old, titled, My 26 female boyfriend, 36 male, has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents, 49 male and 50 female, last week. How do I reach out to him?
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She's 26. Okay. So I don't think he could be her dad, but you know what I mean?
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No. And even though like mom and maybe Derek is corroborating the story and saying, oh, yeah, I was 19 in high school.
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Oh, my God. But the original post, like, doesn't... I mean, the ages could be fake because she said she changed stuff. But, I mean, there's nothing, like... super crazy. My boyfriend Derek and I met through mutual friends six months ago, and we immediately hit it off. He's sweet, funny, kind, and just a generally good guy.
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He's super extroverted, and I've never seen him dislike or not click with anyone. I mentioned him to my parents a couple of times, and they said they were excited to meet him. My parents live a road trip away, so me and Derek had to book a hotel nearby. About two weeks ago, we dropped off all of our stuff in the hotel and arrived at my parents' house.
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My parents are the most welcoming people you'll ever meet. They have met some of my past significant others in the past and have always been warm and kind. Since both my parents and Derek are charismatic and welcoming, I thought that the dinner would go smoothly, but I was wrong. It didn't start off too bad. My parents and Derek seemed a bit awkward, but I assumed he was just nervous.
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We sat for dinner and my parents asked us a couple of questions. How did we meet? How serious is the relationship? Et cetera, et cetera. I've never seen Derek stutter or hesitate before this dinner.
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But he did. As soon as I finished eating, we thanked my parents for dinner and said we had to go. It felt like he was rushing to get out of the house. When we got to the hotel room, he ran to the bathroom and I heard him throw up. Oh my God. He said he felt sick and he was going to head back home, but he insisted I stayed and enjoyed the rest of the trip without him.
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His mom said that I'm obviously traumatized by my scar to let it ruin my marriage with her son, and she suggested therapy. She told me that the scar was the issue, not her son who loves me as I am and chose me to be his wife.
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I agreed since I really missed my parents and he seemed to want to be alone. I texted him a couple of times asking how he was doing, if he felt better, but he didn't reply. After two days passed, I started to get really worried that maybe he was really sick and had to go to the hospital or something. So I cut the trip short and headed back home. I went to his apartment and saw he was okay.
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I asked him how he was doing and why he wasn't replying, and he said he felt fine and that I was overreacting. He told me he still felt sick and he wanted to be alone. I went back home and texted him asking if I did anything wrong and if our relationship was okay since he was acting so weird and cold. A week has gone by since the text message and he has not replied.
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Derek is the last person I'd expect to ghost me. I'm torn between wanting to give him space and wanting answers. How do I reach out to him without pushing him further away?
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Yeah. Ask your parents. It sounds like they know each other. Oh, wow. Or something happened that you didn't see or something like that. Oh, my God. I just got chills.
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I don't know. I guess I would have been like, it's kind of weird. They're being so awkward, especially given his age. Like if he's around 36, like it's not the first time meeting the parents. He's not a high schooler. Yeah. Nervous. Like, Like, do they? Right. But I don't know if I would have been like, sounds like they know each other. Like, yeah, that's a job.
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Like, I don't I don't know if I can say I would have guessed that.
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You hurt my daughter. Yeah. Dead. Yeah, something, yeah. A dad joke comment that maybe read wrong or maybe there was a comment that was just wrong. But yeah, that is really interesting. Next comment down. I think OP should tell her parents that she spoke to Derek but now needs to hear their side of the story. Clearly they have met previously and there's a dodgy story to be told.
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Getting to the truth might require OP bluffing that she already knows. These people are geniuses. They should be in Mensa. What the heck? Next comment down. Either he slept with mom before or they had a threesome.
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Dude. That might have been what I thought, actually. Slept with dad. Yeah. I don't. I don't know. He took a cab home. It was a four to five hour drive. Yeah. Who the fuck takes a cab? He really wanted to get away. Yeah. I mean, I will say I took an Uber from San Diego to L.A. once. So I get it. Yeah. Someone ate my Taco Bell. I was really upset.
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I don't know. I feel really horrible right now. I don't know if I said the right thing about postponing the wedding and whether I'm overreacting in this situation. My girlfriends have previously said that my fiance shouldn't even be bringing up the scar like that. Absolutely not.
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Yeah. It was my last straw. Things weren't going well that night. And they ate my Taco Bell. I think it was a chicken chalupa. Yeah. I was pissed.
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Did you throw up? I didn't throw up. Probably not. And that is crazy for him to, like, walk into the hotel. No, that's so sad. And be so stressed he's puking a couple times.
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OP does, you know, give that update. Fake OP, right? Yeah. Hey, sorry, I didn't reply. Most of the comments were just saying that Derek was secretly my brother, which is horrifying. So I wasn't sure how to reply. And then they go on and share the update that like I talked to my mom. Yeah. And told her Derek's reaction was weird after dinner. I asked her for advice or if she knew what happened.
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and i heard her start crying she started apologizing and i didn't understand what she was trying to tell me at first eventually i got her to calm down she told me what happened my mom is a high school teacher and apparently derek was a student in his senior year and she told me that they had an affair oh my god she didn't give me many details honestly i don't even want to know all she said is that they only slept together once before she shut it down and that my father knew and they had attended couples counseling years ago to work through this
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They could have. Yeah, it definitely could have shifted. But let me just make sure that those comments were from like the same time period, you know? Yeah. Those comments are all two months old. Wow. So as old as the post before this update six hours ago.
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Yeah. There's not much about Derek's side, but in the update, which again is not even coming from the person it should be, I went to Derek's apartment again and he invited me in. He said he had to tell me something, but I stopped him and told him that I already talked to my mom and I knew everything.
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He promised me he had no idea up until the point we had come over for dinner where he immediately recognized her. He apologized for ghosting me and said he just didn't know what to say and he was scared that he would ruin my relationship with my parents or maybe ruin their marriage. I forgave him, but I told him the whole situation was just too messy for me and we agreed.
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So yeah, that's how my past few days have gone down. Honestly, I do kind of miss Derek, but not too much since the whole banging my mom thing is a massive turn off.
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I am so, so excited. This is the first week that video is dropping right on Spotify. Direct. Spotify. Direct. Ooh. Yeah. Wow. You were giving like that S that you draw like six lines for and then connect and a little, you know, remember?
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That's not you. That's not you. That wasn't you. That didn't happen to you. And this is where I'm like... You are the biggest asshole. I also think it's one thing to post like the general post for advice. Maybe you could have left out more details, but then give people an update. And now you're posting again to ask people, are you the asshole for posting the post and the update?
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I think this person really gets off on... There's like an addiction to this now, the attention. There's something that this person doesn't get in their life that they're getting from people. Give me an update. I mean, when these stories blow up on Reddit, you'll see OPs come out later and updates saying like, hey, I got hundreds of DMs. I got all these people asking for updates.
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So for someone that doesn't get that a lot in their life, it would probably feel really good.
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After you found out why Derek ghosted your friend. Yeah. Don't you think? Holy shit.
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This is so big. That's such an invasion of privacy now for me to post an update.
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Like at so many points. That to me just screams like this person genuinely needs to start talking to someone, a therapist, and like really evaluate why they felt it was acceptable to do this. Because like if my friend told me something in confidence, which this was, this person probably wasn't going to tell everyone why her and Derek broke up.
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So I'm like, the fact she told you this in such confidence and you violated her trust as a friend.
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And I mean, you know, I am in a way like the dad did deserve to know the truth. Right. I wish the mom wouldn't have lied and said, yeah, he knows we went through therapy. Like, because your daughter...
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I think so. Even if the dad asked, like, hey, why did you and Derek break up? Yeah. Because then it would be like... Like, what do you know why? Mom didn't tell you Derek is the same Derek? And you'd be like, what do you mean? That's who mom slept with.
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It might have not been. It's 31 through 33, give or take when your birthday is and if you're Pisces or Sagittarius.
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Yeah. Someone's yelling the number at their phone or screen now. Regardless.
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I'm 31 on Tuesday. I... I look at high schoolers because my fiance's got step siblings that are in high school and they're driving. They're 16, 17, 18. They look like babies.
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No, but, like, so, like, add in the layer, right, where this... Mom was 32. Yeah. High school kid. High school child. And you're a teacher. You're his teacher. Don't... Didn't... Did you not take an oath?
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No. No. And I get the intention of the first one. But you should have stopped there. Yeah. You should probably have never gone there. Yeah. but you definitely shouldn't have updated. Yeah. Top comment on this new update post that summarizes everything again. Right. And you decided to make yet another Reddit post about it. Insane. Let's just be clear about something, says another user.
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You don't have the fucking right to out people without their permission. You took away their agency. Now you continue to compound the problem by seeking even more attention. Next comment. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
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Or like I understand if it's a conflict that directly involves you because we'll have that a lot where it's like, am I the asshole like for doing this? And it's like, well, yeah. Or no. And then once the person gets a no, they'll send the post to the other people involved. Right. But it directly, it was them. It was their issue. They were hurt. They were X, Y, Z. So it's like so different.
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I hope you guys like it. Okay, our next one for you. This is coming from AITAH, three hours old. I haven't read it. Wow. I was looking for a fresh story for us because I was like, I've got a lot of tabs open, but like nothing's really exciting me, exciting me. I think this one's going to be insane.
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It is titled, Am I the asshole for point blank refusing to be my sister's surrogate because it would ruin my mommy makeover? Maybe there's a better forum for this. I don't know.
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I, 36 female, have had two kids, eight male and five female, and knew after my daughter was born that I was done, had my tubes removed, and then last year I went and had some very expensive surgery to get rid of saggy, scarred skin after years of body changes from pregnancy and breastfeeding and weight loss.
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I finally feel more confident in how I look again, and I have zero desire to put my body through another pregnancy.
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My older sister, 40 female, got married last year, but just recently found out she likely won't be able to carry a pregnancy to term due to her very short cervix. It's obviously devastating for her and her husband, who is a sound guy, and I do feel for them. But instead of looking into other options, she cornered me in our parents' house on Sunday and asked me to be her surrogate.
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Not if I'd consider it, but as if it was the natural solution. Before I could reply, she listed her reasons, like that I've already been pregnant twice, so clearly my parts work, and it shouldn't be a big issue for me to do it again. I tried to be nice about it and said no, that I had my tubes removed for a reason. I don't want to go through pregnancy again.
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I don't want to undo everything I've done to feel good in my body again. I just don't want to. Also, I'm 36 now, which isn't 40, but is quite different to being pregnant in your 20s and early 30s. She did not take it well.
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It's intentional, though. Do you not think? Like, it feels like he's really trying to take her confidence down and, like, neg her in a way, like, where he's just constantly poking, like, an insecurity. And maybe it's not even an insecurity for her, but he's constantly bringing up something that could negatively affect her and using it as a way to, like... I don't know.
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She was upset, saying it wasn't fair that I already got to be a mom and I should want to help her have the same happiness, even if it meant having the surgery redone in the future, and that she would do it for me in a heartbeat. I get that she's having a hard time, but it isn't my fault she has a short cervix, and I don't think she fully understands how difficult the recovery after my surgery was.
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She went crying to my parents after I left, and they are involved now too. My mother notably said, quote, She also pointed out that she sacrificed her nice figure to bring us into the world. I saw red at that one and reminded her that she wouldn't even take my kids for a week or so while I was recovering last year because she said she was done playing mommy when Danny left home.
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Danny is our younger brother, 28 male, if that's relevant. So she's obviously not that self-sacrificing. She also said at the time my surgery was pure vanity and a waste of money. My husband is conflict averse, so was neutral initially saying it was my decision, but he can see the tensions it's causing.
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So even he's saying that maybe we should look into it and see what's involved so we can make an informed decision. And I'm like, there is no we in this. He says, quote, OK, so then you can make an informed decision. That was a couple of days ago. And then my sister brought it up again there today. And I was very blunt with her this time. I told her there was no way in hell I was doing this.
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And then she called me a selfish bitch. So Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to be my sister's surrogate without even looking into it? I'm not even sure what the laws around it are where we live. It's never even crossed my radar before this week. I think legally I would be listed as the child's mother. Am I the asshole?
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You know, and I feel like everyone's kind of treating this as like, oh, pregnancy is a walk in the park. Yeah. No complications, no risk factors. Yeah. No potential for death.
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or losing your teeth or breaking bones like ribs and like just because she's had two good pregnancies successful pregnancies doesn't mean this third one is going to be that yeah also there's no mention of like maybe she had terrible morning sickness or you know hyperemesis gravidarum like where she was throwing up all the time like we have no idea what she actually went through
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and she had her tubes tied so clearly it wasn't a great experience she was done after her daughter yeah so i just think it's crazy that they're like almost like yeah adding that vanity aspect to be like oh you're so vain you're so vain yeah pregnancy is not a walk in the park even if the sister had had a pregnancy herself so that she could say i would do the same for you with like
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It feels like keep her in check, like make sure you don't realize that you're too good for me. Like, I'm just getting a really bad vibe from this.
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It's beyond strange. We do have a couple of comments from OP, OK? There's one here, which I think the legality of this is really interesting to me. So OP responds to someone and she was like, I probably should have looked it up earlier, but I just looked it up now. And I think professional surrogacy is illegal here.
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It's a bit unclear because there was meant to be a new law, but it hasn't been enacted yet. And I was like, I didn't even think surrogacy would be illegal anywhere. But it is. It's legal in some countries and states, including Italy, France, Germany and Nebraska. Wow.
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Yeah. The UK prohibits commercial surrogacy. Spain bans all forms of surrogacy.
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really complex and complicated and i know there's some people that will like use their egg they'll give their egg to the person they're being a surrogate for and then use their other partners like sperm and so it's like there's so many different complexities of it but sounds like this it would be the sister's egg her husband's sperm but op also adds this
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voluntary surrogacy is legal I think it just has to be registered in advance but no I've just spent 20 minutes reading about it and our laws seem very backwards so legally I would be the child's mother and I think my husband would legally be considered the child's father even if we used my sister's and her husband's embryo they would also have to adopt their own biological child which is mad when you think about it yeah that's crazy
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I think that concerned me the most. Yeah. Like I would want my partner to be like, they want you to, you don't want to do it? Okay, end of conversation.
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There's no need to even go further. Like if you don't want to do it,
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I'm bewildered. And the comments? Do they agree with us? They do. Thank God. Top comment. Not the asshole. Your body, your choice. No is a simple answer. Yeah. Next comment down, which I love. Tell your mom that if it is so easy and simple, she can do it. Your body, your choice. She is the selfish bitch because she wants what she wants and to hell with anyone who opposes her.
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Which... I have seen some Facebook posts of people's moms being their surrogate. Oh, wow. So I know you can do it. Are there greater risks?
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It's also a year of her life. No wine, no sushi, no cold meats from the deli. No roller coasters.
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There's a comment here from someone. A colleague of my sister's was the gestational surrogate for her own grandchild. Grandma can indeed do it, even if she is postmenopausal.
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I know. I really... I don't know. I'm like, would I? I'd let my sister-in-law. I would actually, I'd let. It would be a gift if my sister-in-law would be a surrogate for me. But my brother won't let her. She gets cranky when pregnant. Yeah. But... I'm like, I don't know if I'd want my mom to. I'm like, she's... She's been through enough. She's been through enough. She's had Bell's palsy.
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She's had just long COVID stuff. I'm like, she's off the hook, but... Yeah. I'm like, if grandma's going to talk the talk and say you're selfish... Why don't you do it, Mom?
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And there's people that want to be surrogates. Yeah. There's agencies for this. There's ways to do it where it feels very ethical and you have the contracts, you have the legal support, no one's getting screwed, no baby's getting stolen. Like...
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there's a right way to do this and it's not forcing your sister to no so yeah not the asshole god we do have uh an update on this one wow what is it a little bit of an edit edit i'm reading the comments but i can't keep up with them all the general consensus seems to be that i'm not the asshole so thank you for that i was beginning to feel like i was in the twilight zone or something
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To the people who mentioned Kurglage, I don't know if that's an option for her, but I'll suggest she talk to her doctor about it. Or she gets a second opinion. I might let it all cool down for a while first. I've looked into the laws around surrogacy here since posting, and paid surrogacy is definitely illegal here. Voluntary surrogacy is allowed, but the birth mother is listed as the mother.
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And if she's married, her husband is listed as the father, even if it's not their embryo. Wow. So if my sister goes down the surrogate route, she would have to adopt her own biological child. And until then, the surrogate is the legal mother with all a mother's rights and responsibilities, which seems mad. But all the more reason not to do it as far as I'm concerned. That's insane. Yeah.
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On your birth certificate, your aunt would be your mom. I still can't get over that. But.
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So fair. There's so many people out there that never want to be pregnant. Like I'm in the boat of like, I do want kids, but like I am really scared to be pregnant. It's not something I've like dreamed about. And I don't have this, I don't know. And it's weird because like when you tell people that, People always say, oh, no, it's so different when you become pregnant.
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Like, you'll never know what love is like until you're pregnant. And it's just like, I don't know. I think I got a firm concept on love. And it's a risk. It's scary. Yeah. People being able to, like, be a little 3D printer and make another, like, I know it's biology, it's science, it's whatever. But it is really, it's magical. It is insane. Insane. Michaela, thank you so, so much for joining me.
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Of course. Those were so good. I hope so. We're going to have to, like, make sure everyone gets a chance to tell us the favorite story on this very special theme. Still, I know we were just talking. I was like, I don't know what to call it yet. It's like a smorgasbord of stories and people. That's a good smorgasbord of stories. Smorgasbord? Smorgasbord of stories?
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Amazing. All of Mikayla's links will be in the description. Be sure to check her out. On to our next guest. Here we go. Hi.
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Okay, friends, there we go. These next couple of stories, I'll be joined by Spenswa. Hi. Spencer Hunt. Hi, everyone. Spencer, you have just, I feel like you're just a magical person. You started in Starbucks and doing TikToks that way.
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You're now getting your big break in the Hollywood lights, going in movies.
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i was like wait i um the meisner method acting method um again throwing out random names um you're on it you're just the moral of the story is spencer is on it always always on it and i have a feeling you're going to be on it for these next couple stories i think i will be too okay this first one is coming from am i the asshole only a day old oh
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He sucks. End of story. He really sucks. This isn't something I would go on with because it's like, You're maybe going to get scars later. If you have kids, you get stretch marks. Those are scars. What's he going to do? Oh, I love you for all of you except those stretch marks. Like you love me for me. End of story.
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The title is, am I the asshole for refusing to let my girlfriend bring her dead dog's ashes on vacation? On mobile, sorry for any formatting errors. My girlfriend, 29 female, and I, 28 male, have been together for four months. She had a dog that died a few months before we met. I've only ever spent the night at her place.
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I live with my sister and her two kids, so it's a little chaotic at my place. Girlfriend has a small two to three inch tall urn on her bedside table with the dog's ashes. Before she turns off her lamp to go to sleep, she always gives it a little tap at the top and says goodnight as though she is talking to the dog. I think it's weird, but I have never said anything.
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We were supposed to go away for the weekend. On Friday, I was watching her pack and noticed she took the urn and put it in the top pocket of her backpack. I asked what she was doing. She said she didn't want to, quote, leave the dog behind. I told her she was not allowed to bring the urn as it made me very uncomfortable. I didn't want to see it anytime we returned to our hotel room.
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I didn't want her talking to her dead dog after we've had sex, i.e. before we go to sleep. It's weird, and frankly, she's been mourning for this dog too long. She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag. She told me to have fun on the weekend getaway as she would not be coming. I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes over me.
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She said she was choosing herself over me, as I could have spoken to her with kindness and empathy, but didn't. She also said that I didn't get to dictate how long she's allowed to grieve. Then she asked me to leave. She hasn't replied to my texts. I think she's overreacting. My sister said she can see both of our sides.
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Am I an asshole for thinking my girlfriend is weird for being so attached to her dead dog's ashes?
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And I get it's kind of goofy, right? Like, maybe if they're flying, like, if they have a seven-hour flight and, you know, you're going through customs or, like, things like that, then it might be a little interesting because I know there's certain rules to even have ashes in an urn on airplanes.
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So that might be a little more difficult, but it sounded like they were driving in a car. And it was just for a little weekend. Yeah.
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if i were her i'd be scared that like if i left it in the hotel something's gonna happen to it but she doesn't care she's willing to take that risk and for him to be like judging her it's like she's been doing it at home for the past four months you've been dating her and all of a sudden a weekend away is where your foot goes down you draw the line that like what's the difference
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It doesn't matter. It's either you love me for who I am or you don't really love me. I don't know.
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I think it's also it's clearly a source of comfort for her. And I think there's compromises to be made if this is like a big issue for you. Like for me, when my cousin passed away, my aunt gave me some of his ashes in like a necklace.
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Something like that could be really, really meaningful for her. And I think there's different like little things or like I know some people have like put their dog's ashes into a ring and then you like pour resin over it. So it's like a thing. I don't know. I just saw TikTok on this. So I'm like there's other beautiful ways but like she doesn't have that yet. You're not offering that compromise.
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You're literally just judging her and it's like Okay, we do judge our partners here and there. Like, sometimes they give us the ick, whatever. But to feel judged so harshly so early on and then, like you said, like, it was about the empathy. Like, she stood her ground and was like, I'm not going to be talked to this way. I just think he approached this so wrong.
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Even if, you know, maybe this is a little unusual. Mm-hmm. But the approach here is he's an asshole for the approach.
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Yeah, I think that's what it needs to be. We have a lot of comments from people on Reddit and OP responding to people. So there's one comment here. It did get downvoted 612 times. But someone says, you aren't the asshole. And I think it's really fucking weird to travel with ashes. Dodged a bullet, in my opinion. You could have used nicer words, though.
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Opie responds, I don't think I dodged a bullet. She is a wonderful woman. I just didn't want to have a reminder of a dead dog while we were supposed to have a fun and relaxing time. Okay. Yep.
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reasonable at least he's not throwing her under the bus but he's also like kind of i don't know he gets downvoted a bunch for these comments but he's he's kind of like trying to provide context to make what he said and did more valid but it's it's it's not working it doesn't stick yeah so he's talking about the dog and like context of the dog she only had the dog for a few years this wasn't a family pet she rescued the dog and it died a few years later
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She had only known the dog for a few years. I think it was eight or nine when it died. It was diagnosed with cancer and died a couple of weeks later.
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i can't imagine like cats gone take me out good thing cats live a little longer than dogs they can live like 20 30 years i actually recently found well i don't know if it's true because i i'd have to um
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Looks real... He looks really good. Real chipper, young, healthy. Yeah. But what I was going to say, with all of his comments and kind of him implying like, oh, she rescued it, only had it for a few years. He's kind of like...
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implying and maybe this is just my read on it but it feels like he's being like oh well if you adopt a dog that's older you don't have the same connection because you didn't have it as a puppy yeah and it's like you still are pouring your heart and soul into this animal and i would say adopting older animals can be even harder because they're set in their ways they might need more care like
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I'm so sorry if you are disappointed. I'm Morgan, by the way, just in case you didn't know. I'm Lauren.
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I would agree with that. Couple more comments from OP. She already has a custom made ring where the stone was mixed with a bit of ashes, but she doesn't really wear it. And I'm curious about that. Maybe she didn't end up liking it. But if she likes like the actual ashes and the little urn, like maybe putting some of the ashes into a vial, like something like literally a mini urn necklace.
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I think so. I'd get down to, like, the context. Yeah. And, like, why she doesn't wear the ring or like the ring or whatever.
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OP is fighting for. His life. Their life in the comments. Yeah, his life. Top comment on this one. She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag. She told me to have fun on the weekend, get away. She would not be coming. I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes over me. They're quoting what Opie said. And they go, your girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend likely, sounds amazing.
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Right. I wish she was my friend because she sounds like an awesome person to know. Sounds like you lost that privilege by being an asshole. You're the asshole. Everything she said was 1000% correct. I don't even have anything to add because she spoke for herself so clearly. The fact that you still don't get it shows you have a fundamental problem actually hearing her.
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Read and reread what she said until you get it. We have some edits from OP. Edit number one. The hotel was non-refundable and only a three-hour drive, so I went on the trip without her. Did she pay for half of that? Edit number two. She started seeing a psychologist around the same time we started dating.
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She hasn't told me any specifics, but she said the trauma of suddenly losing her dog brought to the surface other trauma from her past. This is why I think she's been mourning for too long. She's still attached to the dog, even after seeing a professional on a regular basis for several months.
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Yeah. I feel like you guys are puzzle pieces. We're pretty close. I mean, I don't love that Justin doesn't fart. Oh, God, we're doing this again. We got to really let the new people know what they're getting.
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Also like a couple months. OK, what if this dog literally saved her from like a really traumatic experience, bad home life, partner, whatever, like insert X, Y, Z. Like that was her best friend. And it wasn't like this dog was like 16 and you knew it was coming. It was eight or nine and had been diagnosed with cancer and then dropped dead a couple weeks later. Like this is shocking.
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This isn't something she got to prepare for. Right. It was cut short. Mm hmm. Update. God.
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And I'm sure this will make a lot of you happy. Got it. I get it. I'm an asshole. Yay! Thank you!
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You did so good! I texted my girlfriend to say I'm sorry for how I spoke to her and for dismissing her feelings. It was wrong. I also said I would like to apologize in person and offered to bring her over her favorite takeout. She said, quote, all good. Don't worry about an in-person apology. I gathered the things you've left at my house. Let me know when you would like to come pick them up.
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If someone went on a trip without me, that's, like, the ultimate, like, fuck you. Especially if I paid for half or, you know, I was the one that planned and was super excited. Like, I think.
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Yep. And I know like some people would be like, oh, well, maybe she was unpacking to test him. And, you know, that could be looked at as emotional manipulation or whatever. And it's like, no, like I think this is someone that just realized her worth. And this was a boundary for her. And they weren't flying. They were driving a couple hours. It shouldn't have been a big deal. Nope.
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It shouldn't have been a big deal. And the fact he was like, I don't want to look at the urn after we have sex.
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I don't know, put a tissue over it. If you don't want to look at it.
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Yeah. I also think the wording he used here, I told her she was not allowed to bring the urn. Yeah, that's... As a grown adult, very few, very, very, very few people are going to tell me what I can and can't do. And if they're telling me I can't do something for my own safety, yeah, I'll consider it. But this circumstance is not that. Especially after calling it weird.
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crazy but you know there are people out there that say not the asshole i mean people were calling her unhinged mentally unstable like were these all like no offense were they men we have no insight into their accounts can i be really honest with you they're probably straight men and that's just i mean in my opinion or pick me's just and that could be it like they're just kind of
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Not in tune with their, I don't know, sensitive side. Because I look at this as just like have empathy for someone else. Would I do it? No. Is it okay that she does it? If it makes her happy, sure. Like I am so in the boat of like everyone's got to live their life. Life is hard enough as it is. Why do we need to make it any harder on each other? Let people live. Moving along.
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I know. I'm just going to peek at his most recent comments just to see if he did get his stuff and that she still broke up with him. There's a comment from a minute ago. Oh. Just still fighting for his life. He goes, maybe she just needs some time to calm down. Who the hell said that? OP. He's just still not getting it.
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After reflecting, I see there was no nuance. I belittled her grief and told her I think her coping habits are weird. This is a good lesson for him to learn. But, yeah.
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Very peculiar. Okay. It is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing a Donut That My Boyfriend Licked?
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My boyfriend and I are having a small staycation at a hotel for his birthday. We got some Chinese food delivered and I ordered the donuts, basically deep fried biscuit dough rolled in white sugar. When the food arrived, I joked about inhaling the donuts, so he made a whole show of stealing one from me and licking off all of the sugar.
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I'm laughing up a storm when he hands it back to me and then I get confused. He said he didn't actually want to eat it, so he was giving it back to me to eat later. I laughed and said, ew, no way. I'm eating the new ones. This made him quiet.
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We spent a couple of minutes eating in silence before I spoke up and tried to clarify that I would just prefer to eat a new donut with sugar and that it isn't sticky with his saliva. He said that we have swapped all kinds of saliva and it hurts that I'm acting as if he is too disgusting to share food with.
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I took the donut and put it back in the box, but it's pretty much too late. The night has most likely been ruined, and he's still quiet hours later, and nothing I'm saying or doing is helping lift his mood. Am I the asshole for not taking back the donut?
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I just wonder, like, what did he want from this? Was his pouting and this, you know, what feels to me like a manipulative reaction? Because this is not something that needed to ruin the night.
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No. And it's, I get it. It was funny in the moment. Super cute. He did it for the plot, whatever, but it's okay if no one eats it. It's one little donut. Am I annoyed that he's not going to eat it? Yeah. Because it's a donut. It sounds amazing. Delicious.
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But it's like, you can't expect to like spit all over something or like, you know, like when you're having a drink and you can just see the backwash floating around and it's like, here, here's the last sip for you. And it's like, Gee, thanks. I wanted to gulp down your spit. Yeah. I also had this image of, like, they did it in, I think, the movie The Sandlot. And I'm so sorry.
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This might gross some of you out. But, you know, when you, like, as a kid would get pinned down and someone would, like, drop spit over you. Oh, yeah.
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That is, like, what this feels like to me. Yeah. It's just, like... I don't want to just eat your saliva. Making out is so different. But like to eat your saliva.
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No, and it's one thing to have this all happen, lick the donut, whatever. It's the reaction I have a big problem with. And it's giving a lot of red flags. Like, I think there's a bit more to unpack there.
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Top comment on this one. Okay, your title said he licked it, which I thought would be okay. Then your explanation is that he licked all of the sugar off it. That is totally not the same thing. Ew, I'm not eating that. Same. The best donuts are fresh and covered in cinnamon sugar. And after it's been in someone's mouth that much, it's no longer fresh. It's not about the saliva.
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It's about the donut. Next comment down. Come on. It's about the spit too. I love my partner and kissing is totally different, but I'm not drinking a shot of his spit for fun. Same goes for other bodily fluids. Context matters. That right there. That right there. Context matters. Thank you. Not the asshole, says the next one. I wouldn't want to eat it either.
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These are my regular co-hosts because there might be some people coming in. They might be seeing the pod up on bright billboards. They might be like, what is this two hot takes? Reddit stories? Crazy drama? Yeah, we get into it all. We've been here four years. And if you're new, you will come across some iconic stories like The Coconut, The Butter Sticks, Slugs.
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It doesn't matter how much saliva you've already shared. To me, it's like he's expecting you to eat something he's already eaten. It's weird to me this made him upset to the point he ruined the evening.
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Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think there's another really long comment here that's like, it's honestly like six paragraphs, so I'm not going to read the full thing. But essentially, this person is just being like, you didn't ruin anything. He deliberately spoiled something that you'd literally just told him you were looking forward to enjoying. Rude and unhygienic.
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Pouted disproportionately with a level of exaggeration that screams bad faith and manipulation and has the desired result of you second-guessing your correct and normal reaction. Which again, that just like glaring red flags, testing boundaries, emotional manipulation, trying to like almost, I don't know if it's gaslighting, but like purposefully make you feel bad and doubt yourself and your gut.
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Yeah. And five, kept up the act for long enough to ruin his own damn birthday celebration.
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It's not about the donut. I think this really is about more a sense of control or just something else.
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Something else is at play here. But we have no comments from OP on this. Very active Reddit account. Still posting after this has been posted. So maybe we'll get an update eventually. But definitely giving real. I mean, OP was posting in rslashbaking, looking for recipes that take up a lot of active time. Feeling really low and I usually like to bake for myself to keep myself busy.
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But I'm in need of ideas. So very real account, and I'm hoping we'll get an update eventually.
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I don't think they're breaking up. I think there's more info needed.
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Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Helping me introduce the world, hopefully, to Two Hot Takes.
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What's that saying? You got your ears to the ground. You're with it. Is that pulse on the beat? You got a good pulse on the beat? I have no idea.
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Yeah. And Spencer will be tagged in everything in this show's description, Instagram, socials, everything. So be sure to go check out his stuff. Okay.
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Oh, my gosh. Chris, you've been through it with me. I think the first time we met... I really I baptized you by fire. I gave you the coconut story.
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Well, I might have I might have a couple of today that maybe top that in a different way.
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Oh, this is going to be so good. I'm just so excited to have you again.
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That's so good. I mean, Chris, I don't think it's going to be as bad as what I gave you when you came on tour with us for live shows.
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Let's see how you feel about this next one. Okay, this is coming from r slash relationship advice, 10 days old. It is titled, I think that my 25 male wife, 23 female, thinks that I murdered her ex.
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About a month ago, while out shopping, my wife and I ran into her high school boyfriend and his mom on the street. It was a slightly awkward encounter. His mom made a comment about how good they looked standing next to each other, quote, like it was meant to be. We said we were in a bit of a hurry as we were walking away.
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fourth grade playground. First time I got called fat. Oh, I remember exactly who said it. I won't. I won't out him. Tyler.
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He said something along the lines of, quote, hey, we should grab coffee sometime.
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I didn't think too much of it at the moment. Sure, his mom was awkward, but they'd been broken up for about seven years, and I do think he meant it to just be friendly.
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But still, we had a quick check-in after where we both agreed it was awkward and that I wasn't too upset, and that I wouldn't even necessarily mind them meeting for coffee, provided that it became clear if he still had feelings or was making advances that she would cut him out. She wasn't even sure she wanted to take him up on it, so it was all purely hypothetical.
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That evening, I met up with some friends for drinks and was home by 1am. That next morning, my wife got a message from her friend that her ex had died that night.
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We got a few more details over the next couple of days, but it seemed he suffered from epilepsy and that night in a freak accident had a seizure, fell, and hit his head. What does A-F-A-I-K mean?
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As far as I know, there's no foul play suspected or criminal investigation or anything like that.
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In the weeks since, she started acting really strange. She hasn't been abnormally sad that he died, but more like cautious and fearful around me. She hasn't made any kind of direct accusation, but had been asking me a lot of questions where I went drinking with my friends, who I was with, what time each person arrived and left, etc.
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She's lately mentioned that she wanted to spend some time with a friend to catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to have to ask her whether she thinks I murdered him or to have to tell her that I didn't. I'm even afraid to bring it up and whether that would just feed into whatever she seems to be going through. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?
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I mean, can you imagine you love someone, you trust them enough to marry them, and then, like, crazy, you know, tragedy happens, but you think your partner did it? What?
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He seemed, like, very chill about their encounter, even with how weird it was. I mean, the mom being like, you two look like you're meant to be. You look so great.
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I would have been like, okay, let me just see myself out. Okay, I'll go fuck myself. Thanks.
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Communicate. Which is what the top comment says. You don't need to ask her that. You need to ask her why her demeanor towards you has changed. All caps. Communicate.
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Next comment down. Communicate. And then update us on how it went because I am invested.
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Well, we have a little bit of an edit. No idea what it says, but let's see. Edit, thanks for the feedback. Just wanted to throw a quick update. I am going to ask her when I get home from work. I always knew it needed to be a conversation. Just needed to hype myself up to actually do it and figure out how I wanted to approach it. We'll let you know how it goes.
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And again, for what? Mm-hmm. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole. That's hurtful, disrespectful, and calling attention to something that is very much a part of you in a negative way. When you love someone, you do so not out of spite of the things that make them unique, but because of those things.
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Nothing. Just a couple comments. about, like, how they got together. We got together in university four years ago, and our first wedding anniversary is coming up in about three months.
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OP also says here, I definitely don't feel very secure in my relationship at the moment. Physically safe, sure. And for the record, I'm quite confident I didn't murder anybody. I was where I said I was, and I'm like 99% sure the bar I was at has security cameras. I don't think I'm going to end up on a true crime documentary anytime soon. But divorced? Possibly.
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No, sir. I just have another one, another story for you today. And this one is insane.
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So this is coming from r slash true off my chest. It is titled, my husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old home alone and refuses to explain why.
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My husband is 43 and I'm 31. We've been married for seven years and have a five-year-old and a nine-month-old baby. My husband left our children alone and he refuses to admit it or tell me where he was. I'm furious, enraged, and my husband keeps telling me I'm making a big deal about nothing. This just happened this weekend. I'm on the board of directors for a local nonprofit organization.
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I'd venture to say that scar has shaped how you feel about yourself, the world, relationships, etc., and contributed to the woman you are today. OP responds and says, Thank you for your comment. True. I feel like he has let me down because he, of all people, shouldn't be commenting on my scar. But I thought he meant well. But now? I feel like it's deliberate, but for what purpose? I have no idea.
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I had to attend an event for that organization this past Saturday, and I was gone for most of the day. My husband was supposed to be home with our kids. I texted him a few times, and he responded. When I called around midday, he didn't respond. And that's not very unusual. Shortly after that, I got a call from my mom.
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She said my son had just called her, and when she asked him what he and his sister were doing, he said they were both watching TV. When she asked where their dad was, he said his dad wasn't there. My mom asked him several other questions, and from my son's response, she believed he was telling the truth and that my husband wasn't there and that there was no adult there at all.
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She said he didn't seem to be scared, alone, or worried about where his dad was at. He just called her to chat. He has a tablet designed for children.
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He has a tablet designed for children with pre-programmed contacts that he can call. It's only a few people, just family members. I left the event immediately and began texting and calling my husband repeatedly. He didn't respond to my first several attempts. It took him about 10 minutes. I was halfway home at that point to respond.
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I was so confused, so worried, really mad, and I asked him where he was. He said he was at home. I told him our son had just told his grandmother that he was home alone with his baby sister watching TV about 15 minutes ago.
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My husband denied it, and I told him I was too upset to talk and drive. When I got home, I checked on the kids right away, and they were both fine. I asked my husband again, where was he? He said he was home the entire time. He doesn't know what our son was talking about, but he must have been just confused since he had gone to the basement to do some laundry. I ran down to the basement.
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It was the same load of laundry I'd thrown in the dryer the night before. He didn't do any laundry when I was gone.
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I asked my husband why my son would be confused about whether his dad was home or not. Where in our home would he have gone and for how long for our son to think his dad wasn't home? That doesn't make sense with a five-year-old and a nine-month-old baby. You wouldn't leave them unattended that long. Why was he nowhere to be found when my mom asked my son to go check certain areas of the house?
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I've begged my husband to just admit it, stop treating me like an idiot, and to stop accusing our son of lying. Just tell me the truth, because being lied to right to my face is so incredibly maddening. He insists he was home, but he can't come up with any believable story of where he was at or what he was doing during that time.
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The way he answers me when I ask him about it and demand truthful answers is so dismissive. When I tell him, quote, you left our children alone, he quickly says, no, I didn't. So anyways, he says, I'm overreacting and letting our son's imagination drive me crazy. I am convinced he was gone. We don't have a ring camera, but at least one of our neighbors does.
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I'm so upset about this that I'm tempted to ask our neighbor for the ring footage.
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I had to go out to my car and scream and cry because I got so upset. Of course, I didn't want my kids to see my reaction. I can't put into words how upset I am about the fact that I know he must have really left them alone, but I have no proof and I'm being treated like I'm just a paranoid nutcase of a woman slash mother by him.
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Yeah, be honest. But also, like, if you're going to cheat, maybe don't leave your nine month old baby alone. Find a time where you're not being a dad and do it then. Like, don't be so disrespectful. No. I mean, if you're going to be disrespectful, at least have some respect for someone. Yeah, don't involve the kids like that.
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Your kids, a five-year-old and a nine-month-old, there's so many things that could have gone wrong. They're babies.
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I have not had a child yet. I do not know. But I mean, he was gone longer than at least 20 minutes. Right. Like he called grandma, had a full conversation with grandma, went around the house with his little tablet, like plain eye spy. Then grandma called mom, mom called him and tried to drive home. And that was 15 minutes. So like, this is at least 20 minutes.
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So, top comment on this one. When my now ex did this, it was drugs. I didn't know about it. He told me months later when I found out that he often left at night and put the kids in the living room together, quote, so if the house burned down, at least they'd be together. My youngest was under a year. My oldest was five. Don't stop asking questions. Holy shit.
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Honestly, don't put it past Reddit. Don't put it past Reddit. But this next comment is really interesting. Wait, gag. Gag. That is so true. Because imagine the first time you're little and you can't find your parents. You start crying. You do not have this calm, I'm going to call grandma on my tablet reaction. Wait, gag. He leaves them alone all the time.
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So someone else goes, it's either drugs or an affair. Also, the fact that your five-year-old was calm and nonchalant about it makes me believe he does this frequently enough that the kids are used to it. And OP responds, my mom said she chatted with my son for at least five minutes before she asked him where his dad was. And when she asked, she still didn't think anything was wrong.
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She was just trying to make conversation. He gave no indication that anything was wrong. And when she started asking him more questions regarding his dad's whereabouts, he didn't seem phased. OP just says like he definitely won't be left alone with them anymore unless it's a test where I am secretly watching the entire time oh my god please tell me she did this
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A lot of people are asking, does husband have any accounts, bank accounts that she's not aware of that she could start looking through to gather evidence and really build a case? And OP responds, he has a separate bank account that I don't have access to. It's not a secret account. I know it exists. I don't have a debit card for it. I'm not named on the account and I don't have login details.
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I have no clue what's in it. We have a joint account too. So, I mean, very easy of him to hide things.
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Well, I mean, this story is coming from February 4th. It's less than a month old. We could still get more updates, but let's see what this one says.
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Oh, you know, the neighbors are going to get a kick out of it, too. Everyone loves a little neighborly drama.
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So for the update. Last weekend, my husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old home alone while I was gone and then refused to admit it or provide a plausible explanation. Since then, we've had many arguments about it. I've been living in a constant state of anger and frustration. I didn't want to fight about it anymore, but I couldn't help it and I kept bringing it up again and again.
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I couldn't lay low and pretend to get over it while I waited for him to do it again and catch him in whatever was going on. I also knew that demanding he tell me the truth wasn't going to get me anywhere. Since he had been refusing to talk and deflecting for days, all it was going to do is make me enraged and feel like I was about to have a brain aneurysm.
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I told him to hand me his phone so I could check his location at that time. He refused. He said he wouldn't do it and that it was a violation of his privacy. He won't be treated that way and refuses to give in to my delusions. You think I enjoy being in a situation where I have to beg my husband to show me his phone so I can see where he was at? I hate it. I don't want to live that way.
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I told him it's simple. If he was really at home the entire time, just prove it. Why wouldn't he want to clear this whole thing up?
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Sir, why are you fighting? Like, at this point, it doesn't matter if it's principle, right? Like, I don't want you to invade my privacy. You should trust me. Oh, the principle of it. It's clearly time has gone on. She's not getting over it. If you're innocent, prove your innocence because you're not looking innocent.
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I got so mad that he wouldn't turn over his phone that I told him I was going to the neighbors to get their doorbell footage. At first, he was like, fine, go do it. He didn't think I actually would. He knows I don't like to air drama to others, so he probably figured I'd just swallow all of this crap he's been giving me.
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Luckily, I was totally being driven by anger at this point, so nothing was going to stop me from going to the neighbors. When I actually started to go out the door, he tried to stop me and followed me out the door. I felt pure anger rushing through my veins, nothing else.
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The neighbor, who I've probably said less than 10 words to the entire time we've lived here, told me he would send me the footage. I went home, told my husband that the neighbor didn't have the footage from that day anymore, and told him I just needed to go to the store and cool off. So I put the kids in the car and went and parked somewhere while I waited for the neighbor to send me the footage.
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Like, super manipulative. You're traumatized. So there is a comment here that someone says, Yeah. And Opie goes, to be honest, I didn't see it this way at first, but I guess the way he worded it, especially making those comments seem flirty, has been driving me insane. And this is the next comment after that. I don't see how you found your example flirty. Look up negging.
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I have the neighbor's number now too, and he told me if I need any more footage, he will be happy to give it to me. So for the video. The video...
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The video shows a blue car that I don't recognize show up and park in our driveway. A blonde woman gets out of the car and goes towards my house. She walks on the outside of our garage towards the gate leading to our backyard. The gate is too far back and out of the way to be seen by the doorbell footage. She and her car were there for 23 minutes. Imagine that.
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The car leaves right around the time that my husband called me to say he was home and had been home the entire time, as I was rushing home in a panic and calling him on repeat. One of two possibilities as to where they went.
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She either came in through the side door of the house, which does provide direct access to the basement, or, and what I think is more likely, is that they were in the back most area of our yard, which is a gated pool area. Immediately behind our house is a grass lawn. Then you step down a few steps and we have a patio. And then there is a fully gated area where the pool is.
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It's not like you think of when you picture a gated pool. It's a full six-foot wood fence all the way around, plus even taller landscaping for added privacy. You can't see into the area at all unless you're inside. I think it's more than likely that they were back in there because my son said his dad's keys were gone, and we keep that gate locked with a key.
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The pool is closed for winter, but there's one small building back there, sort of like a shed that we converted into a changing area. And there is a covered patio with furniture. I am fully convinced that's where they were. So technically he was home, but in an area totally removed from the house and where he couldn't see or hear the kids if something happened.
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I asked him how he could explain this. What were they doing? I obviously don't need him to tell me what they were doing, but for some reason, I still had hope that he'd finally be honest. He wasn't contrite. He showed no remorse. He was just like, yeah, she was here, but I obviously never left. Okay.
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Who is she? How long has this been going on? And if he's going to be such a disgusting, despicable excuse of a man, then why couldn't he at least have found any other time and any other lie or excuse other than when he was home alone with our kids? I told him I know this has happened before, and I demanded to know how many times he's done this when he's been home alone with the kids.
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He swears this is the only time, but he still doesn't have the balls to confess what they were doing. I don't believe him that this was the only time. FYI.
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I still have so many questions and I still feel like my heart is beating 200 times a minute. My blood pressure is through the roof. I've cried a lot, sobbed, begged for somebody to help me, yelled, screamed, ordered a bunch of books about divorce and custody. And you know what?
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The next day after our multiple explosive fights, him putting hands on me and me seeing the evidence, he acted like everything was totally normal and like none of this stuff ever happened.
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done girl immediately done done i woke up seething exhausted broken and he's acting like everything is totally normal he said he was ordering breakfast to be delivered from our favorite breakfast place he asked if i wanted to go to the store together later and try this new recipe for chili tonight what why would i want to do any of these things with you
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Absolutely no acknowledgement of anything he's done and what's transpired between us the past few days. He deserves an Oscar for how well he is able to act like none of it happened. Completely comfortable and non-phased. I know that it's a waste of my energy, but I desperately want him to admit the full truth of what he did that day and any other day with this woman. I want to hear it from him.
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It won't change what he's done, but he could at least have the respect and decency to be honest now that he's caught. That's ridiculous thought though, right? How foolish of me to expect this man to show decency and honesty now. If he was a decent and honest man, he wouldn't have had a strange woman over to our house and been out of sight of our kids for 23 minutes.
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His continued denial and refusal to admit to anything other than the bare minimum, his attitude like I'm somehow being controlling or infringing on his rights by asking for information, that's almost more hurtful than him cheating on me.
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It's almost like he's trying to love bomb her now. And it's like... I didn't love their age gap at the beginning. I know there's some people that have huge age gaps, and that works for their relationship, and that's amazing. But she's 31 now, and he is 43. They've been married for seven years. What's 31 minus seven?
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And so like, how long were they dating? Were they dating at 22 and 34? Like, you know what I mean? Like that's just such, they're at two very different spots in their life. And so I think all of his behavior now is like giving red flags. It's giving very controlling. It's giving abusive. It's not a healthy relationship.
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Thank you, Sharper View, because that's what this is. Like, this is someone making negative comments about you in hopes that you try to then seek their approval. You really try to, like, impress them. And it's a power dynamic thing. And it's so gross. There is one last comment from OP. It's in response to this. He got his mom to gaslight you?
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I mean, you kind of unfortunately have to. Like, I know there's a lot of times where you don't need closure. But this feels like one of those times, like, you just need, like, the evidence to not feel so crazy. Especially with the way he's gaslighting. Where he's confronted with this video evidence of another woman coming into their home. And he goes, yeah, she was here. But I didn't leave.
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Okay, so you won a trophy for not leaving the house. You still left a baby, a nine-month-old baby who could have just rolled over and died alone for 23 minutes. Sir.
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I... I mean... But we got a woman in the first one. She was goofy. It's just... People, like, have people just lost the plot lately? Like, I...
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I mean, we have covered chaos over the past four years. Absolutely.
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I think he fully expected to be able to have that power over her. I think he fully expected he could gaslight, provide her some pancakes, and she would move on.
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I know. We do have a couple other comments from OP just kind of talking like, I'm concerned for my mental health right now too. And so understandable, like your whole world is kind of crashing down. But I think in these situations, like you just need to get out, take your kids, go stay with your mom for a little bit, set up a camera before you leave. Because She will be there.
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I bet this isn't the only constant douche move in your relationship.
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I mean, she will come back. But I mean, commenting about like how I'm not sure what the current footage I have will really prove as far as the court is concerned, because like it doesn't show them cheating. It just shows her coming in. So I definitely think she needs to set up cameras.
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And OP goes, thank you. I thought the same thing when she made the trauma comment. It hurt my feelings because I've always been accepting of my scar and never thought of it as traumatizing. Yeah, the traumatizing part is that family. Yeah. Not the scar.
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A tin hat wearing a guy. I mean, she needs to do something, right? Like, I think at this point, a divorce is not only inevitable, but absolutely necessary. Bare minimum. She does. Bare minimum. And she does, like, clarify, like, he grabbed my arm to stop me from going to the neighbors. He didn't hit me. But regardless, he put his hands on you.
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He was trying to obstruct you from getting this evidence because he knew he was guilty. And at that point, as you've said, the jig is up. You could have came clean then. You didn't have to try to stop her from getting out of the house. That's, that's just being a psychopath.
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No. Bad. Very bad. And last comment we have from OP is 23 days ago. We have no other updates, no other comments. So I'm hoping OP is out there, hears this, knows that It's okay to leave. It's okay to get out. Like, look after yourself, your safety, your kids. You got to go.
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It's very concerning because like even when and I'd love for like maybe a therapist to chime in on that. Like, hey, what what what's going on in his brain where you are very clearly caught, caught evidence presented before you and you still are like doubling down that nothing's going on. Nothing's happening. You're still gaslighting. Like, what is that? Like, what is that?
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Well, also, like, what are they implying by saying, like, oh, your scar is traumatizing you? It's like, does my scar scare you? What are you implying? I know.
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You know, I do have one that people have been tagging me in that is pretty... Nausea inducing. But I figured I'd ease into it. I didn't want to scare any newcomers that might be discovering us this week. And, you know, we'll get back. We'll get there. And you can be a part of it.
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Can't wait. When we're in person. I want to feel your scream just send shockwaves through the studio.
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Chris, thank you so, so much for coming on and just being the most amazing person. I just appreciate you so much. You are one of the most authentic, kind, funny, smart, witty people I've met on this normal person to podcaster journey. And I just, I love you.
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But you have an amazing YouTube channel. You have a new show coming. Where can people find you?
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Oh, okay. I lied. I did scroll a little further and I got laser hair removal. Ass shot does come up.
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So I love you. I love you. I love you that you're in the family. But thank you.
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Sometimes it feels like that when you're a kid, though. Oh, my. No, my brother actually did hate me and he didn't like me until I went to college. Matt, I feel like he said that. He he has openly admitted it. I came in and I fucked up his perfect only child life. And it's so funny.
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Fuck you, Matt. No, I'm just kidding. We're we're good now. But top comment on this one. With 4K upvotes about... So it's okay for him to humiliate you, but not for you to defend yourself?
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I honestly, I think she could have gone harder. Oh, yeah. I think her comment was like very respectful, tasteful. But it was like a subtle jab. And it could go over some people's heads. Actually, David, I grew up in a small town, not the jungle. And while we didn't eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people's cultures, which you seem to have missed. I love it.
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Actually, David. Ew, David. Yeah. So, I mean, it was very pointed, right? It got the point across. Like, you're being disrespectful.
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Yeah. That's it? Yeah. The comic goes on to say, obviously it wasn't harmless. It was deeply bigoted. And so were all the people who laughed. He's waiting for you to apologize. And I suggest you have a conversation about whether your feelings matter. And does he really think of you in the way he described? And why he felt that everybody having a laugh at you was okay.
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It's so random. I don't know. But then, okay, so that was my weird one. And then my positive is I really just love, like, my community and where I live. Aw. I was riding my horse today, and all of a sudden, this little lady, like, pulled up out front of a house in her little Subaru and opened the back door. And, like, I thought a dog was going to hop out. Mini pony. Two goats. Aw.
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Because he doesn't sound like he cares much about how you were feeling or what position he put you in. Are there any other red flags you've been letting go? Not the asshole. Bada boom, bada bang.
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I know. And did you see the one, the remix I sent you where it goes bing bop, boom bing, bing bop. That's why I showed that to him. Fly like paper, get high like... I was like, this is a vibe. So I think OP might have responded to that because the comment after is deleted and the account's deleted now too. Hmm.
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But someone replies back to it and goes, no man that loves slash values you will expect you to make yourself smaller for his ego. Oh, yeah.
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So I'm so curious what OP responded to because that has to have been OP. Yeah. And then the next comment down, 100%, he wants her to feel smaller so he can feel bigger. Right. And next comment down. Yeah. Yeah. And then a bunch of people just kind of like continue on that thread. Like, same here. Latina, Mexican, married to a white man.
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There's no way he would make hurtful jokes about me or my hometown. If anything, he praises my culture and is always educating people if they have misconceptions about it.
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God, you could have been on Father Knows. Why? We did an episode and the only word that came out of my mouth was like, he doesn't respect her. He doesn't respect her. Maybe it's your time, Lauren.
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Okay. Well, Account has been suspended. Maybe OP will create a new account to give us an update, but I think it's very clear based on the comments. Not the asshole. Moving along, moving along. Number two, baby. This is four months old. Also coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the asshole for pouring my boyfriend's raw milk down the drain because I found out it's dangerous? Raw milk.
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Unpasteurized milk. Have you heard people on that trend? No. It's a thing. So I recently found out that my boyfriend has been buying and drinking raw, unpasteurized milk. He grew up on a farm, and apparently his family always drinks it straight from the cow. And he's been doing the same ever since we moved in together. At first, I didn't think much of it. Being a vegan, I never drank it myself.
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But I started doing some research after I saw the label on it literally says, quote, not for human consumption. Apparently, raw milk can carry harmful bacteria like salmonella, E. coli, and listeria. I freaked out when I read that. I don't want him to get sick or expose me to something dangerous.
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So when I saw a fresh bottle of raw milk in our fridge yesterday, I panicked and poured the entire bottle down the drain. I thought it was the safest thing to do. When my boyfriend got home, he immediately noticed and was pissed. He said he spent a lot of money on that milk and that he's been drinking it for years without a problem.
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He accused me of not trusting him and said I had no right to throw away something he enjoys just because I disagree with it. I tried explaining that I was just concerned for his health and ours, but he said I was being a control freak. Now he's barely talking to me, and I feel like there's this huge distance between us. Am I the asshole for pouring out the milk?
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I thought I was doing the right thing, but I'm starting to wonder if I overstepped.
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We can come back if you think of it. But like, I don't know. Did someone cut you off on the highway? Is this today? Or just like recently? What's one thing in your life you have to be thankful for or that you feel really positive about?
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Yeah, this is giving... It's giving the same vibe as a story we read a while ago. I think it was on the Olivia O'Brien episode, but it was about this guy who collected exotic yogurt. Oh, very cool. And he had this one. He had this one yogurt from Iran and it was like illegal to have. And so she threw it out. So it's like, it's kind of the same vibe though.
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Oh my God. We just saw her at like a Spotify party too. I know. I was like, hi. But I get where she's at because I don't know where you all are going to fall. We might have some raw milk drinkers out there. But there is a lot of like debate on drinking raw milk right now. And like, it's good for you. No, it's not. It can kill you.
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And I. Overall, yeah, raw milk, you shouldn't drink it. It's not meant for human consumption. I haven't heard of this trend, so... Oh my God, it's like all the... It's bad.
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Yeah. Yeah. Very different. Very. Yeah. But don't drink raw milk. It literally, it's actually, it is dangerous. The bird flu is really spreading around right now. Yeah. Eggs. Eggs are hard to get these days. They're finding the bird flu has gone from like just simple birds to now like it's being found in cows. Yeah. Oh. And so you know what you can find in raw milk? Bird flu. Yeah.
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So don't drink raw milk. Cook that shit. Or whatever you do. Pasteurize it? Yeah. Okay.
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Yeah. Oat milk early here. Yeah. I love an oat milk. But I also... Overall, yeah, she was, you know, kind of disrespectful about it. She should have had a conversation. Maybe they both, you know, go on Google and learn some stuff. But I did find this comment from him really funny. His family always drink it straight from the cow. And as I read that, I was just envisioning him-
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I love an alternative milk. Me too. I think it tastes better. I do too. It's so sweet. There's a farmer's market in Hollywood. If anyone ever visits LA, there's a really amazing farmer's market in Hollywood off of Selma and... Selmanella. Selmanella. No, it's Selma. S-E-L-M-A. Off of Selma and Nella. And Kohanga. Kohanga. And it's the best farmer's market there is.
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Justin's mom is making her own almond milk now. I think a lot of people are.
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She makes the best little salads. She's just such a good cook. I know. And still just a little badass in the corporate world. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what the comments say. What do you think the overall vote on this one is? You're the asshole, right? Overall vote was asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment. You're the asshole. Yeah. You panicked and poured it down the drain.
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What was it going to do to you? I know, right? You could have left it in the fridge and then told him you had a concern. Yeah. You should have discussed it like a normal person instead of reacting to a bottle of milk as if it was about to mug you.
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I know. I wonder if in her head she was like, oh, it contains like potentially salmonella and E. coli and listeria. Oh my God, it's in our fridge. What if it contaminates the rest of our food?
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Yeah, I'm curious. There's a lot of comments after that making jokes. Someone goes, this is what got me panicked by an inanimate bottle of milk. Someone replies to that and goes, I had a flatmate once told me he was intimidated by tofu. Hmm. Tofu is probably the least intimidating food I can think of. Yeah. Next comment down. I have to politely disagree. I once ate tofu thinking it was chicken.
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I'm not against tofu, but when you're expecting a different texture, that'll really startle you. I would feel like it's the I don't know that I've had that.
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No, but it's... Unless it's flavored. Sometimes you get a bad tofu and it's like, it feels like old jello that you can't like bite into. Whoa. Like I... Don't ruin it for us. Well, you know that? There's a tofu recipe I want to try where they put it in like a blender and add a bunch of like everything but bagels, seasoning or whatever. Like it looks really good.
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But one time, there's this like chain here in LA and I should have known. I think it's called veggie grill. And so everything's vegetarian. Well, guess what? They had a chicken wrap. And I ordered the chicken wrap. It wasn't chicken. Yeah. Well, why call something chicken if it's not chicken? It probably had quotes around it. I don't know if it did.
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That should be illegal. That honestly should be illegal. I didn't eat any of it. I took a bite and I was like, something's wrong with this chicken. He threw it away. It's not chicken. It's chicken. I didn't have any money at that time. I was in grad school. Oh, my God. It was so bad. You're like crying over it. It was disgusting. No offense to people that eat tofu chicken. I like tofu.
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I just haven't had it in a long time. Well. If you can cook tofu right, there's a difference between that and chicken. Chicken. Whatever the fuck it was. Weird. But okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is VIA. February is the month of love, and you could elevate your passion using the natural power of hemp with VIA.
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I myself have loved the Zero THC, especially when I'm trying to like de-stress but still focus. So if you're 21 plus, check out the link to Via in our description and use the code THT to receive 15% off. And if you're new to Via, get a free gift of your choice. After you apply, they ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you.
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This month of love, elevate your love life with Via. I'm very curious what your thoughts are on this next one we have. It is coming from Relationship Advice, two months old. It is titled, The guy, 22 male, that I, 21 female, am dating is learning ASL for my brother, but my friends think it's creepy. How do I proceed with this? Why would they think it's creepy? That's a good question, Lauren. Hmm.
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Throw away because my regular account has some personal info. Also, fake names used. I met John in a college class last semester. He's an overall great guy, and he's very respectful and kind. He also has a great sense of humor, and we have a lot of similar interests. We've been friends since then, and we've started dating this July. He's the first person I've ever dated in my life.
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Last September, he met my family when I visited home for my brother's birthday. My brother, Trev, 19 male, has been deaf since birth, so my whole family communicates with him either through sign language, Trev's lip reading, but we still just sign as a reflex, or through text. During our small celebration at home, it was clear that my parents liked John.
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He was very charming and funny and respectful. He even tried to connect with Trev by typing some of his jokes for Trev to read, although my brother could lip read as well. Whenever John would tell a story, either I or my parents would sign for Trev. My parents said that they're happy that I found a sweet and caring guy in John. Of course, I'm glad to hear this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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I feel like you were just trying to mess with me. Well, we're celebrating your new job, the four-year anniversary of Too Hot Takes, but... I was holding it. Wait, did you see my post last night? Yeah.
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I don't know. I reposted it maybe this morning when I woke up. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. This is why it's very, very, very important that you hold the cage, twist six times, and then slowly wiggle it off because you can kill people. That's why I was holding it really aggressively if you like zoom in on my hand. But no, I was going to pop it at the right time.
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Just the safest champagne popper girl of all time. I almost took an NHL player's eye out once and it scarred me ever since.
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Yeah. So I was practicing. Oh, God. That really didn't feel. What were we saying before this rudely popped? Four years.
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Neurons aren't firing. I need to get a brain scan. I'm curious if I have a tumor in there. Oh, Morgan. Why? Hypochondria. Okay.
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I feel like I have trouble finding words. You are like one of the best speakers. Expressive aphasia. You have a podcast.
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Okay, we do have a couple edits on this post. Edit, wait, whoa. I took a break to work on a paper and there are now 1K comments. I'll try to process everything, but thank you for your kind words, Reddit. Yes, John is a wonderful guy and has so far given me no reasons to doubt his sincerity.
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It's only my friends who planted the seeds in my mind since they've all had experiences with dating and relationships. So the pressure kind of got to me. Thanks for your insights. Well, guess what? I think your friends have unfortunately dated people that don't like them. They don't know what it's like to be in a good, happy, healthy relationship is what I'm hearing. Edit number two.
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I went to class and did a lot of schoolwork. Came back to this post with over 4K comments. Didn't expect this. I'll make sure to read everything. But so far, I'd like to thank everyone who weighed in on this. A lot of your insights have been truly eye-opening. And it really looks like I've gotten a lot of reflection to do with my relationships and connections. Again, thank you so much.
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Trying to see if we have any other comments from OP. Do have some insight about the friends. They don't really interact with my brother that much. Whenever they see him, it's mostly just a smile and polite wave. Then we do our own thing. OP's kind of replying to someone here, just hoping that John isn't learning it for the wrong reason.
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John absorbs knowledge like a sponge, and he's very excitable when he gets to learn new things. However, I'd like to believe that's not the only reason he learned ASL, and that he genuinely likes to connect with my brother. I think it was in response to a comment being like, oh, yeah, whatever. Being negative. A lot of comments from OP. A lot of comments. But you know what?
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Yeah. Since our first episode. So you tagged me in that story. So to give you guys like a little lore, the first episode we ever recorded was January 27th of 2021. Yesterday was January 27th, but we've had a leap year in between. So we're recording basically four years to the day. It's the 28th right now. And then the first episode dropped February 10th.
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Like jumping to the negative versus being hopeful and like looking at it from a positive?
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It's so funny. It's like it's you know, that saying I always say here where it's like if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. But these people are being like, well, it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck. But God damn it, that's a dog. That's what they're doing. Oh, he's so kind. He's so nice. He's considerate. He's learning ASL to connect with my brother.
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You know what? He actually sounds like an axe murderer. You should break up. I know. Where's the logic?
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Update. Update, baby. Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. I am cutting back. Cutting back on unnecessary spending and prioritizing financial wellness this year. And thanks to Rocket Money, I found out I was paying for the same streaming service twice. So if you want to focus on financial wellness this year, Rocket Money.
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Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I'm sure you guys have seen those videos about calling your phone provider or TV provider and asking for retention offers to save money, which is so smart. But if you have Rocket Money, they do that for you.
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I love their dashboard. I love how easy it is to see where you're really spending your money or you can get alerts if your bills increase in price. And they really do let you know if you're going close to going over your budget. No more ordering food for me. So if you're ready to try for yourself, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.
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Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. Link is also in the description. I'm just going to hop right in. Update, baby. First off, I want to thank everyone who gave their insight in my original post. As I said, I'm very new to relationships, so reading insights other than my inner circles was very eye-opening.
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To begin, many Redditors said that my high school friends are conniving, untrustworthy, and ableist people who never bothered learning ASL despite knowing me for a long time. I take accountability for this. I'm not saying they're blameless, but it's not entirely their fault. For some context, our family moved to the area when I was a senior in high school due to my dad's job.
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The friend group, two guys and two girls before I joined, was already tight when I came in. They then took me in after we got grouped together for a school project, and they've been with me since. We've been friends for about four years now. They're not exactly saints, but they helped me survive my senior year in one piece.
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They are fun to hang out with, and they were the support I needed when I was struggling. Also, during that time, my brother was having an especially hard time adjusting because of his disability, so my friends never really saw Trev a lot. To be clear, I was never ashamed of him.
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And there's not a February 10th like on a Thursday this year. So this will actually be the four-year mark episode. Yay! That's so cool.
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It's just that whenever my friends came over, he either locked himself in his room or was in a different area with his tutor and never really interacted with us. Whenever he does come out, he's really shy and awkward, so my friends mostly just get glimpses of him.
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By the time Trev became more comfortable in our area and found his own circle, my friends and I had already graduated from high school and don't really hang out regularly anymore. They're friendly and polite with Trev, but then again, they never interacted as much to the point of them actually needing to learn ASL for him. Now on to the update.
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Last week, my friend group had our year-ender party, and I decided to bring John along to meet the rest of my friends. My other friend in the group also brought his girlfriend, so this wasn't really weird. Others have done so in the past as well. I've commented in the previous post that John had only met my closest guy friend. I'll call him Mike, 21 male.
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So I wanted the rest of them to form their own opinions of John after they've met him. Initially, there was some tension and awkwardness from my friend group towards John. They were a bit cold, and they were throwing some harsh remarks towards him. Eventually, though, they all warmed up to him, and they were actually pleasantly surprised by his personality.
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We all got along well, and we all even had fun in our games. However, I could tell that there was still awkward tension coming from Mike towards John and the rest of the group. He was throwing meaner jokes more than usual, and he's kind of isolating himself from the activities.
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The day after the party, I had lunch with my closest girlfriend, Sophie, 21 female, to clear the air because I could tell that they also sensed something was off. A lot of Redditors speculated that Mike had a crush on me and was jealous of my relationship with John. Turns out, you are all 10,000% correct. But it's a lot more complicated than that.
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Apparently, Mike has had a crush on me since our senior year high school. However, he's known in our school as a notorious ladies' man and had a new girl with him almost every month. This got exponentially worse during college. He had different hookups almost every night, and he even had a pregnancy scare with a girl last year.
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I knew about all of this because he bragged about sleeping around every time we meet up. Is this Barney? Simpson? What I didn't know was that the entire time, Mike has been making up fake stories about me and him. Barney. It's Barney's...
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Yeah, right now, me too. What the fuck, Lauren? And I'm like, this is literally him. Oh my God, I just watched the episode where he slept with girl number 200. Insane. Oh my God. And we just had episode 200. Wow. Sophie told me that apparently Mike and I had a pact that if we were still both single when we were 30, we'd marry each other. Mike is crazy.
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I'm just going to say that right now before I read anything else. Mike is fucking nuts. Also, he told our friend group that we hooked up after graduation and that he took my virginity then. So he's my, quote, special person. Whatever that means. He's also told them that we'd been secretly hooking up consistently throughout college. What a fuck. Freak.
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For context, Mike and I go to different universities that are just about 30 minutes apart. Lastly, Mike told them that I said I'm in love with him. He told our friends not to tell me anything so I don't get embarrassed or upset since I have this image of being somewhat of a prude. I would cut that guy out so quick.
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Mike also told our friend group that when he met John, he thought that John is a total jerk who has also been manipulating me and taking advantage of my innocence and naivety. He said that John had been forcing himself into my family and is driving a wedge between me and my friends. Oh, my God. Wow. For the record, none of what Mike said was true. Yeah, clearly. Like, what a crazy person.
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There was no pact, we never hooked up, and I have NEVER, all caps, been in love with him. After that, Sophie and I asked the rest of our friend group, except Mike, to jump on a FaceTime call with us. They all shared different versions of what Mike told them. There was a lot more. Uh, yeah. That is... that's scary behavior.
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Sophie suggested that maybe we could have an intervention for Mike first, but I just said that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. The rest of the friend group agreed, so we're essentially cutting him off. Sophie said she would still talk to him just to inform him of everything that happened, but I really just wanted to distance myself from him. Now it's been a week of being Mike-free.
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Sophie said that when she and our other guy friend talked to Mike, he became extremely defensive, confrontational, and aggressive. He wasn't physically violent, but he called them names, attacked their characters, and made such awful statements about everything in our friend group that I won't include here anymore. It looks like cutting him off was completely the right call.
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anything that you've done like oh no if a guy lies about doing something physical with another girl that is my enemy it's so disgusting it's something I dealt with in high school and I didn't find out until like years later but I dated a guy freshman year and he was a junior and we did hook up like I did lose my virginity to this person but you know we dated for a year and
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and broke up and afterwards he would tell people all these stories about me like yeah it was fucking morgan upstairs when her mom was home and oh i gave her a pink sock you and i'm just like what a freak not true one i would never in high school i would never have sex with my mom in the house Lie number one. Yeah.
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And then like you go on like also we dated like you were still trying to get with me up until like I graduated high school. So why are you talking shit about me? And I found out years later from a guy friend who was on the hockey team with him. But it was like, that's not you just it sucks when people are talking about you, especially when it comes to being intimate. Oh, yeah.
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It's horrendous. Disturbing. Horrendous. And that's exactly what he did. And even said, I took her virginity, but don't say anything because she puts off like she's a prude. That's so messed up. Messed up.
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Now for some more uplifting updates. After reading everyone's comments in my previous post, there was a lot, I reflected on my relationship with John and my friends. I then talked to my parents for advice since they have the best relationship I know of.
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They told me that from what they saw of John when he visited our home and how I spoke of him, it seems like he is legitimately a nice person with pure intentions. It also helps that John and I have been friends for months before we started dating, so I already knew his character even when there was less pretense of him trying to impress me. He's already impressive on his own though, lol.
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I then told John about everything that happened and apologized, fully expecting him to be mad at me for doubting him and his intentions. Instead, he said he understood, because of course it was just natural for me to trust my friends and expect them to have my best interests.
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He then asked me if there was any point in our relationship when I felt uncomfortable or uneasy around him, and I categorically said no. I told him that he's my safe space and he has nothing to worry about. He then reassured me that his intentions with me are genuine, and he even said that he sees a future with me, which I reciprocated. Also, John and Trev's friendship is still going strong.
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Trev has participated in one of John's D&D sessions with his friends, and John and I both acted as translators. We were delighted to see that most of John's friends already knew ASL alphabet. Apparently, they had even included it in the lore of their D&D campaign.
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Also, Trev has been asking John some tips for working out and getting fit lately since they have the same body type, but John is more toned. One of his brothers is a fitness instructor. Also, I met John's family for the first time for their annual get-together. It was super fun. There were games and contests.
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Also, I wasn't prepared for it, but apparently, since their mom is a theater performer and their dad is a music producer, it was their family tradition to have a talent showcase. Sounds like my nightmare. That's so cute for them. They gave me a pass this time, but they told me I should prepare something impressive for next year, lol.
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John and his brothers performed Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC in full Deadpool, Wolverine, and Captain America costumes, while his sisters and their husbands did Define Gravity from Wicked. Love. Their parents did a medley from The Sound of Music. It was a total blast. I felt their family's warm welcome, and they really treated me as one of their own.
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I could see where John got his good values and looks from, though I think I need to start taking voice and dance lessons to keep up with them, lol. So that's it for this update. My relationship with John is stronger than ever, and I finally know who my true friends are. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for your time. Happy New Year to us all. Aww. Love it.
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It really wouldn't have taken off without you agreeing to come on. I literally, I pinched myself every day and I just, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I'm blown away by the support. I'm appreciative of TikTok for boosting it and getting it out there. I'm so grateful that each and every one of you listen week after week. So in honor of four years, today's episode will be 23 minutes.
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There is one last edit, though. Uh-oh. Oh, no. I just had lunch with the rest of my friend group. We all compared notes about Mike's lies. Apparently, he concocted extreme fantasies about every one of us. He has been stirring unnecessary drama for years and even caused the breakup of one of our other friends with her then-boyfriend.
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Mike also told them that apparently, I threatened to cut ties with our friend group if any of my secrets come out, which was why no one really confirmed anything with me. He also said I was having mental health issues because of it, but Mike said he's helping me out so there was no need for them to be concerned. What a crazy person.
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Through the years, I could recall Sophie and our other friends checking up on me and making sure I'm okay without really referencing anything what Mike had said. Oh my gosh. Some of their statements didn't really make sense to me at the time, but I just chalked it off to college stress. Our other guy friend also made remarks about me and Mike, but again, I just chalked it off to friendly teasing.
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Mm-hmm. Now everything is clear to everyone and we're all ready to move on from this. There's still a lot of processing to do, but at least we know the truth. Yeah. That is so scary. Wow.
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It is hard because everyone sees things from their own point of view.
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Yeah. Which is, yeah, it's tough. It's really tough. But I mean, this guy was... Clearly going above and beyond to stir the pot, break people up, lie, manipulate. He's also probably an addict, too.
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Yeah. I wonder if he was lying, though. I wonder if he's hooking up with anyone or if it was all a lie.
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Just some screws are definitely loose with, uh, with Mike there. Top comment on the update, which I just find funny. They quote OP. Then everyone agreed to kick Mike off the friend group and they go, I believe this is called a mic drop. Um, Oh, my gosh. I have happy news to report that my friend, Miss Noelle, did get back to me. Thank you, Noelle.
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So I asked, how soon did Spencer start learning sign language? They're now married. Hi. I think it was around six months into our relationship.
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It's just meant to be. Yeah. Noelle and Spencer happily married. You know, this gal and John soon to be... Did you tell her that you're reading this? I did. I'm going to have to send her the story so she can be like, I literally I just there was no lead up. I was like, hi, I have a phone a friend question. And then how long did it take for Spencer? And then she replied.
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It'll have two stories and just kidding. I've got so many good stories lined up. No idea what I'm going to title this. Feels full circle. Feels like a lot of the stories I have are like, shut the front door. Like, what? Stop talking already. Like, oh my God. Like, they're very original chaos. Like, it's kind of getting back to our roots of original chaos. And it's going to be a good one.
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And she recently had a little baby. And I just asked, like, have you started teaching her sign language already? And the answer is also yes. Yeah. A lot of people are doing that now, which is so smart. It's amazing. Babies actually can learn sign language faster than they can begin to speak. Yeah.
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So if you watch videos of babies who get signed from the jump, there's like a one-year-old fully fucking talking in sentences versus like... So cool. Okay, maybe not one, but like, you know what I mean? Like it's a little thing and it's just like babbling away. Yeah.
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I want sips. Dude, I had that experience with a kid like recently. I think it was my little nephew Emmett. And he gets so pissed. Kids get mad when they can't express themselves. Yeah, it's frustrating. And it is frustrating. He's saying like something and I'm like, chips, sips, dips, mitts. Like I have no idea. And he just rolls his little eyes at me like, ugh. Oh my gosh.
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I couldn't say pancakes. I said pan-pakes. Aw. Pan-pakes. Can I get some pan-pakes? That's cute. I couldn't say tongue for the longest time. Sounds like a diaper brand. Pan-pakes? Yeah. And whenever I would say tongue, people would make fun of me. They're so mean, especially on the bus. They'd be like, Morgan, say tongue. And I'd be like, tongue-a. Tongue-a.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
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Go to ro.co.safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. Half the list price when compared to auto-injector pens and when paying in cash without applying insurance or savings cards. Okay, this next one, coming from Relationship Advice, a month old.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It is titled, I, 26 male, lost the trust of my fiancee, 25 female, after she confessed something really shocking to me in bed. How do I move forward from this? So it's the morning hours where I'm from. Woke up to some quality time, sex, with my fiancé before we start our day.
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After everything, we had come to an end, we laid down cuddling, and one thing led to another, and she was telling me something along the lines of, if I ever left her, she would make sure the other woman had to work really hard to keep me. Parentheses, something along the lines of breaking my manhood?
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which was unusual and funny, but I guess when the sex is that good, you tend to get a little crazy. So I don't know how the conversation came up, but she then said, I have a confession to make. And I'm just like, okay, while I had a smile on my face. That's when she said, and I quote, we had a fight, non-physical.
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It was to the point that I was so frustrated that when I went to make you dinner, I snuck something into your tea that makes you sleep. And I was watching you fight that sleep. Your eyes were so red. And when you did actually go to sleep, I sat down and watched you as I contemplated what to do about us. And so many thoughts were going through my mind while I watched you sleep for like a few hours.
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And eventually I just got tired and went to bed. End quote. Wow. No. Yeah. We haven't spoken for an entire day after that confession, even after she's made several attempts to talk. I'm afraid to even go to my friends, knowing they'll just laugh and say it's probably nothing, bro, and tell me to relax. Please help. Run. Holy shit. I can't believe she confessed that.
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Well, I can't believe she confessed. First, I can't believe she did it. But to just like, yeah, oh my God, we just fucked and we're laying there and that like post sex, like hi, you know, like that happy feel good. You just feel cuddly, lovey. Oh yeah, this one time I put something in your tea and then I watched you fight the tiredness.
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Like, was it a hard prescription drug or something you can get medicinally, like some ashwagandha?
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Well, I think to your point, though, if she went to like a dealer like or something got like hard meds, was there premeditation in this? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I want to know how scared he should be. Yeah. Like she planned this out. And like she's like, next time he pisses me off, I'm going to drug his ass. Right. Shuts up. Right.
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Or was this like, I've got a little extra, you know, of my sleeping pill.
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Yeah. Yeah. Bad. This is bad. I want to be very clear. Bad. Bad. I would say the later. It feels like that. He definitely needs to call this off. This can be fiancé no more. I mean, for him to be like, I am scared to sleep with her and I don't want to eat from whatever she makes.
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But also even the comment before the confession, like if he ever left her, she would make sure the other women had to work really hard to keep me. Something along the lines of breaking my manhood. Oh, my God. Yeah. I honestly forgot about that part in the mess. So she's threatening to like break his dick.
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It's definitely giving Gone Girl. Right? That cool girl that's like, ooh, the veil is slipping a little bit.
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Yeah. And I think this is just the beginning. I think she's testing the waters. And I think there's a lot more deep, dark, bad shit buried underneath. Very scary. He's got to run.
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move on let's get some updates and comments i want to hear what's going on top comment how do i move forward from this they like quote op by moving on from her next person down also go straight to a hospital and get tested for drugs in your system get evidence to prosecute and get a restraining order Mm-hmm. Next comment down, though. Sounds like it was a confession from a while back.
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He still should try, but doubtful anything would come up. Next comment. Who's to say she isn't slowly poisoning him? And on that note, let's go check OP's account. Because this is a month old. Mm-hmm. So we only have two comments from OP, both of which were from a month ago. First comment. So as for an update... We broke up, and she went back to her parents.
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If she does come anywhere close to me, I will be reporting her and filing for a restraining order. It's just amazing that strangers could be of more help than the people you actually know and supposedly trust. Stay blessed, y'all.
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It's a really good analogy. Yeah. I've never heard that one before. I really like that. And it's so true. Like you need that bird's eye view from the balcony to really get the full picture.
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I really like that one. Yeah, that's good. I also think it's really good he did come to Reddit because I like glance at his age again to 26 male. And I could very easily see a lot of his guy friends being like, dude, whatever. Like, she's probably just kidding. She's hot. Shut up. Yeah. Sex was good. Exactly.
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No, no. We know guys aren't dumb. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Let me look at comments from OP. So we do get a little insight from OP's comments. There are a lot of comments. Also, scrolling down on the post, I've refreshed it now just to see if there's anything new. We do have some edits. So what order of events would you like me to get into? Do you want me to do the edits?
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Do you want me to go to top comment first and then go back to the edits and then dive deeper into her comments in case we're missing anything? I think we start with the top comment now, knowing there's a lot more to unpack here. Yes. So top comment, I'm sorry for your loss and for hers and for your child who will grow up without its father.
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Her son was old enough to make his own life choices without his mom's permission. However, it is kind of messy to secretly date your boss's child. I would tell her that you lied to her about not knowing who the baby's father was because you were scared about her reaction, and you need to apologize for that.
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Tell her that you would be glad to give her some space and time to process and that you're hoping that she will eventually be excited to be a grandmother, even though it's a lot to process right now. Someone comments after that, I don't know why there is an expectation that the boss will be mad. One would think she'd be ecstatic.
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Yeah, and that's what someone else says after. I would be mad if someone that I had given a job and considered a best friend, in spite of a substantial age gap, spent over a year dating my child in secret. And then he tragically died in an accident, told me that, hey, by the way, I'm pregnant with your child's only baby.
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She may be happy eventually to know that some part of her baby boy is still out in the world, and she may forgive OP and keep her on staff and have a good friend-grandparent relationship with her and the baby, but in the short term, there's been a lot of deception.
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Well, and I think it's hard because even in the title, she says boss slash best friend slash best friend. Boss comes first. Well, I mean, I think that's kind of telling semantics. But really, I feel like it's kind of telling because if I can, I don't know, for me, I'd be like my best friend slash boss because friendship comes first and foremost versus a job.
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But that's my, that's the way I'm kind of, and maybe that's like a subconscious thing and that's a tomato-tomato type of error or analysis. Yeah. But I think it's kind of like they have only known each other two years. Mm-hmm. Boss, first and foremost, then they became friends. Yeah. Yeah.
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So I also think it's interesting where and I think a lot of people picked up on it in those comments where it's like I didn't get permission to date her son. Well, technically, you're both adults. And let's just say you would have asked her for permission and she would have said no. Would you guys have dated anyways?
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No, you would be like, that's shady, Lauren. You'd be like, what the heck? I honestly, I think I'd be more surprised, first and foremost. I'd be like, how did you both find the time? Yeah.
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Yeah. And it has been nine months. Like, hey, guys, after maybe month number four or five, you realize it's kind of serious. Yeah. Time to tell her. Yeah. And it is interesting that they never did. I wonder why. Let's get into OP's edits. Okay. Edit, I forgot to clear things up. She knows I'm pregnant. She just doesn't know who the father is. These comments really aren't super helpful.
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If I could trade my life for his, I would. I'm only willing to live on for my baby now, but I have nothing else for me. Whoa. That's not okay. What are the comments saying to her? They must have been shifted since. Like, I mean, that edit probably came right after she posted.
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Or maybe she just read the worst one. That's what stuck with her. I don't know. I mean... I scrolling down, I see some comments she responded to. Someone goes, wow, this is a heck of a situation. And I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, I'm not sure what the root problem was for her. She clearly respected and cared for both her child and you.
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Logically, I would think that she would be relieved and happy to have a grandchild from her recently lost son. But I don't know all the details here. And OP goes, Okay, that is some good context. It helps a little bit, I think. Yeah. And so someone else goes, do you know why she didn't want the two of you together? Outside of her resistance, this seems like a good situation initially.
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That was great. Well, let's see. What story can I start off with that kind of you teed me up for? Because I got tabs on tabs. This guy. It could, you know, in some people's world be considered having an attitude. In others, he's a bit unhinged. Chaotic. Original chaos. We're back at it. So here we go. This is coming from AITAH. It is 23 hours old.
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And OP goes, she didn't actually say that ever. I just thought he was off limits since I'm her best friend and that's her son. So I think she's just, like, catastrophizing. And granted, any of us probably would in that situation, but... Because it's like, you haven't told her you've been lying. And like you said, lying, like even just like, even though there's like a...
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Oh, man, you're funny. You're funny, girl, Lauren. Really weird. I know. Well, I have like a little check in for us to do today. Like say one really weird thing or bad thing and then say a positive thing.
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a little sliver of maybe a rainbow right in this whole shit storm of catastrophe and just tragedy but it also was like well you still were lying to me both of you were lying like even like that and actually like even if it wasn't your brother that I was like oh I've been dating even if I was just like I've been dating someone for almost a year and I didn't tell you I would be hurt yeah yeah
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I just want someone to date my brother. I'm just kidding. My brother has a new girlfriend, apparently. I haven't... Not apparently. He's got a new girlfriend. But I'm like... I just want him to date my friend. Why? I did not know this about you. I don't know. I just think it'd be so fun. That's hilarious. Edit number two. I talked with her last night after we had dinner.
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I apologized for hiding it from her and told her I didn't want any money or anything from her. I just wanted her to be able to enjoy her time with her grandchild. I was honest with her on how our relationship started and how much I loved her son.
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She had her doubts about it and told me she knew something was up between us two, but she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure and didn't want to make assumptions. She was very upset at first and told me I should have never hid things from her and that she would have accepted us together if she knew my intentions were clean and I wouldn't hurt her son.
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I showed her pictures of us together, places we went, our messages, and she broke down crying. She looked very upset and I genuinely thought she was going to hit me because it looked like she was about to slap me. She asked me to leave and give her some space. I went home and she called me at midnight and asked if I could come back and spend some time with her.
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We finished talking and I offered her to take a DNA test so she could see it's her grandchild. She believed me on what I said, but she told me I should never have hid things from her because now she has regrets about not being able to support us since the beginning. She kept asking to hold my stomach and feel her grandchild, and she told me she would be there for the baby.
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I told her I would leave work and leave her alone if she didn't want to see me anymore, but she told me no, to stay and keep on moving forward how we were before. I apologized a dozen times, and she told me she was happy that she still at least has a part of her son in me. She's been very emotional and she's just been wanting to feel her grandchild and she has been nice to me.
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I just assured her I treated her son with respect and that I was very loving with him. Hopefully, she is still accepting of the whole situation in the long run. It was really hard to read with my eyes watering because it blurs everything.
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It's so sad. I think there's a lot there too. And I, I think now knowing like he's gone and her just being like, I wish you would have told me so I could have supported you from the beginning. It's like she also missed out on nine months of them dating and like having dinners with the three of them and being excited about their relationship. And.
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Titled, Emma the asshole for embarrassing my fiance at dinner after he joked about my upbringing. Hi Reddit, I'm Andrea, 28 female. I'm originally from Colombia, but have been living in the US for about 10 years. My fiance, David, 30 male, and I have been together for three years, engaged for six months, and until now, I thought we were on the same page about respecting each other's background.
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I think it's always like one of those things like this has come up a lot on Father Knows recently. But it's one of those things where it's like we should all always live our truth. Yeah. Be who you want to be. Love who you want to love. And if the people in your life are going to accept that and be worthy of you and your love and your good energy and your time, then yay. And if they're not. Yeah.
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Oh, well. But you're being happy. You're being your truest self. You're finding the person you're going to love the most. It really is only win-win. And is it going to be hard? Probably if they don't react well. But in the long run... Isn't it better to be you and who you want to be and love who you want to love versus a shell of yourself?
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Live your truth. I completely agree. I just think you you have to be yourself. And who knows? You know, we only as of right now, we only have one life. And like, maybe you believe in reincarnation. But what if you get reincarnated as like a fucking bat? That could be great.
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If you take my fucking idea, Disney... We're done. I won't go to Disneyland anymore. I won't be a Disney adult. Don't take my idea. She's lying. I'll fucking crush you. She will never not go to Disneyland.
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I know. How does this keep happening? I know. And I think we're going to run it back. Disney again. It was a good time. Love it. So there are some really, if you guys want to do anything good today, please go and like, I don't know, message this OP. People were being horrendous in the comments. Really? Horrendous. Horrendous. I don't know if this was a bad day. What was it posted on?
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Relationship advice. That's weird. People were accusing her of multiple comments. I'm seeing like multiple. At least five just in this little thing. People were accusing her of being a gold digger, getting pregnant on purpose. Crazy shit. I don't care about money like that. I don't want anything from her. I don't want any child support from her. Next comment. I have money saved.
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I made some investments. Next comment. I'm not after her money. I don't want money. I just wanted more time with her son. I never once asked him for any money and we were planning on moving into an apartment before our baby was born. People downvoted that four times.
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Um, someone also like was implying that she wanted to be a single mom. And she replies, who would want to be a single mom? I didn't choose to break up with him or leave him. He literally lost his life. That is what's wrong with people. Why are they saying this stuff? People were being crazy, being like, what happened? How did he die? Does she talk about that at all?
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For context, I grew up in a small town in Colombia, and while we didn't have much money, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for my siblings and me. I'm incredibly proud of where I came from. It shaped me into the strong, resourceful person I am today. Recently, David and I went out to dinner with his friends, a group of mostly professionals in their late 20s, early 30s.
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She does because she felt the need to reply back. How did he pass? I don't know if you want to share that or not. I don't know if anyone needs a trigger warning for like a traumatic accident, roadway accident. Skip ahead. Click, click, click. Maybe three, four times. He crashed his motorcycle and then got hit by a car on the highway. No. That's all the details I'm giving.
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I don't like thinking about it. Oh. My God. But people, people go on and on about money. And it's like, all she goes is I want her emotional support, not financial. So if you guys want to take any post and like do something and run with it today, I will have all of the links in the description. Go and leave a comment. Send OP a message. Account is still there.
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Throw R-A, lonely W. And just spread some positivity today. Check in with your friends. Tell your loved ones you love them. I'm, as you know, rewatching How I Met Your Mother. And I rewatched the episode where Marshall loses his dad. You might not be there yet. Oh, you were rewatching as well.
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Yeah. So I watched that episode recently and... Any mentions of like losing your dad really fucked me up. So like, I know I'm getting my period. I'm emotional already. And then that topic. And it was a really hard episode for me to watch. I was like, you know, when you cry and you're like, oh, and it's like hard crying. It's not just tears watering at a puppy commercial. Oh, I know. I was sobbing.
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I know exactly what you're talking about. And it was like this whole conversation of like someone's last words. could be so big and marshall thought his dad's last words were crocodile dundee three it's real good son and he slowly realizes over the course of the episode that no those weren't his last words it was actually hey the kims they might have an umbrella
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And then he finds out that he has a pocket dial and his dad ends up like leaving him this like five minute long pocket dial. And towards the last, you know, 30 seconds of the call, he goes, Marshall, I must have pocket dialed you.
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I don't need this again, universe. But I just think it's like it's so important to check in with your people. You know, talk to your people. How you doing health wise? You're shitting regular. Get your colonoscopy. You got a lump mammogram time. You sad. Tell me about it. Like check in with your people. Tell them you love them.
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These are people I've met a handful of times, and while they've always been polite, I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background. I usually brush it off, but this dinner was different. During the meal, one of David's friends was sharing a story about their recent trip to Europe, talking about authentic experiences and local food.
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Yeah, of course. It wouldn't be possible without you. I don't know about that, but I appreciate that sentiment. It wouldn't. It really wouldn't. I begged. I begged for a long time. I'm like, just do it with me.
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It's really special, so... It really is. But no, I wouldn't... I don't know if I never would have had someone commit to recording the first episode with me four years ago. You would have made, like, Justin or something. I... You know, you wonder... But you just don't know. You just don't know. Yeah, that's true. Okay, I'll take that. Thank you. You just don't know. Yeah.
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So thank you for hopping on this wild journey with me, making, you know, this possible. And really, thank you to all of you. Our lives are all forever changed. And what this community has done has been so special. So, so special. There's really no words for it. Happy four-year anniversary. Happy four-year anniversary, everyone. And on that note, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.
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Out of nowhere, David, my fiancé, chimed in with, quote, Right, babe? The table erupted in laughter. I was stunned. Not only was his comment wildly inaccurate and frankly ignorant, but it was also deeply humiliating. I could feel everyone's eyes on me waiting for my reaction. I calmly smiled and said, actually, David, I grew up in a small town, not the jungle.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
I'll go first because I've been thinking of mine. And if you don't have anything, you know, you don't have to. But I'm like, this might be a fun way to start. So my... Just weird. It's not necessarily bad, but it's quite strange. Someone sent 11 Bibles in Spanish to my house. So that was kind of like a...
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202: 4 Years Deep..
And while we didn't eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people's cultures, which you seem to have missed. Ooh, got him. The table went silent. Oh, please. And that I, quote, I told him that his comment wasn't harmless. It was condescending and made me feel like I was the butt of a joke in front of people who already saw me as different.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
He's been cold ever since, accusing me of being too sensitive and saying I should have just laughed it off. I feel like I stood up for myself in a respectful way, but now I'm questioning if I should have handled it differently. So Reddit, am I the asshole for calling out my fiance at dinner?
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202: 4 Years Deep..
You embarrassed me first. Yeah, exactly. Like, what was the point of that comment? You made you.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
singled me out you also sound a little racist i don't know i don't know how that comment was supposed to be funny like pointing it out like oh yeah she grew up in the jungle eating off banana leaves like what also you know your fiance's background likely you know it's not true so why are you why are you making her a joke right if not
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
He made it. For everyone else's benefit. Yeah. It was, let me poke fun at this person. She's an easy target. She loves me. This is my fiance, whatever. In order to look like the big funny guy for everyone else. It was totally to appease them. And the fact that OP already feels like a bit of an outsider. Mm-hmm. Like, what does she say here?
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202: 4 Years Deep..
I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background. Like, she's already feeling uncomfortable with the dynamic and maybe being the only, you know, brown or, you know, person of color there. And it's like, you literally, you just singled her out even more. Like, it's just tacky. It's like, do you even love her?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like, her whole story is so sad. And, like, I don't even know a lot about it. I know you did do a video on Sharon. And so I am a little uneducated in that. But it's, like, I feel like especially, like, posting a photo with the nosebleed, like… There's so many better ways you could have gone about this costume.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No. It's starting to get distasteful. Yeah. No picture. Okay, that's all right. No picture. Top comment. Not the asshole, in my opinion. This is making light of a murder victim. Very tasteless indeed. To anyone saying she's dead and this happened a long time ago, how would you feel if your family member was murdered and then someone dressed up as them and the person who murdered them?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
My guess is furious, livid, disgusted, etc., And I get the killer. Like, people dress up as Bonnie and Clyde all the time. Like, they went on a rampage.
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Movie killers. Like I, I got a lot of trick or treaters this year. It was like the highlight of my year. But I saw a lot of Chuckies. A lot of... I don't remember the mask guy. Freddie? Jason? Jason. Both of them have masks, maybe?
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like, vintage Scream stuff. Yeah. So I'm like, that... But those are movies. I'm like, that makes sense.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know. When it starts to get to real people and they're not 100 years old. But I saw something recently where people were dressing up as like Titanic victims. Okay, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Well, and it's like, okay, put it into perspective of like another huge tragedy. Like, would you see a 9-11 bounce house?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Just want to see what it was like. We had someone, it's a Reddit story from ages ago, but they had a Titanic-themed wedding. Oh. Yeah, it was a confusing thing. Did everyone die at the end? No elaboration on the theme from what I remember, but... There was some issue. The fiance was like, my partner wants this theme and I'm uncomfortable. And I don't know if they went through with it.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know if we ever got an update, guys.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
To each their own. You know? Okay. I love a theme. I love a theme. This next one, she's got a theme in her life. Really? I don't know if you're going to love it. So, this next one is coming from AITAH, another form of Am I the Asshole, basically. It's two months old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Hating My Wife's Creepy Project?
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Okay, this sounds insane, but I swear my wife is a totally normal person otherwise, which makes this so strange to me. For context, we're both in our late 30s and live in a pretty typical suburban neighborhood where we all know each other. My wife has always loved trashy movies and shows about infidelities, and she eats up true crime about spouses killing their cheating partners too.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She just says something about it makes her morbidly fascinated, in her own words. Well, a couple of months back, we had a scandal in our neighborhood where a married couple in the neighborhood divorced because the husband cheated. No, there wasn't a murder or anything like that, but she became obsessed with learning every detail from every neighbor.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No matter the occasion, be it a baby shower or cookout, she would bring it up, hoping there would be some new information. A month later is when I stumbled upon the board in her home office. I was doing some cleaning and I found a massive bulletin board facing away, leaned up against the wall.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Curiosity got the better of me and I turned it around to find a literal fucking conspiracy board of all of our neighbors' pictures with lines of yarn connecting each other like the fucking Pepe Sylvia meme.
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
The link for that one will be in the description, you guys, because it's so good. But you have such amazing content, and I'm really excited for these stories today and to get your takes on them. The theme I have, working on the title, guys, we'll see what it is when it comes out, but it's like... Can they make up? Is there any chance of making up here?
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I was totally confused and asked where this was and she told me it was a hobby she had started recently where she would track rumors or likely candidates for the cheating board. I love it. The yarn represented who was possibly cheating with whom. She had clearly gotten all of the images on Facebook or some social media and printed them out and even had a few sticky notes with details.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I told her this was creepy and insane, and she said maybe if I was doing it as a man, but she is just having harmless fun as a hobby, and she wouldn't be crazy and try to oust anyone based on these rumors. She just likes feeling like a detective. She told me to view it like a creative art piece. I was still super weirded out, but I let it go. Or tried to. I thought about it a lot.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Well, every now and then I admit to checking the board while cleaning. But just a couple of days ago, I looked to see that now I was on the board with a piece of yarn attached to a neighbor's wife that I am casual friends with. I asked her why she would add me if she thought I was cheating, and she said that was a different yarn color for potential matches for cheating.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She said if it makes me feel better, she was planning on adding herself to the board soon. Well, I got pissed and kind of lost my temper about it. I told her to get rid of the board or our marriage will be in trouble. Things have been super rocky since. Sorry for the long post. I'm starting to feel bad and it hit me more than usual this morning. Should I apologize to her?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating. Honestly, I wish she was because it would at least make more sense than this. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. As you should. I think you're allowed to say how you're feeling. Oh, totally. Like, hey, this is a little weird. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I watch my neighbors now. I feel like I don't blame her. I'm like, what are they doing down there? He's got that sign in his yard. The other neighbor across the street did a big banner for retaliation. They're at war. He put a camera on the street sign now. Yeah. My neighborhood is like filled to the brim with tea like this. I get it completely. Me too. Would I make the board? I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Because, you know, makeup, you know, we got some makeup. We got some true crime. Yeah. We got some crazy relationship stuff that we'll see if they can make up.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
What would happen if a neighbor came over and saw the board? God, how embarrassing. Yeah. You'd have to move.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I want to get into sewing. It's on my list. Sewing's so fun. It's on my list. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
There's a lot. There's a lot. She could try.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Well, do you also kind of find it weird where, I don't know how he got to this point, but he even kind of said, and before you ask, no, I don't suspect her of cheating. My mind didn't go there. Mm-mm. So I'm curious why his went there. And it's like, did he kind of ponder, like, maybe she's making this board to detract? Like, to kind of take the heat off her?
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194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like, if there's strings and, oh, you're on the board, babe, to the neighbor that you are friends with, and I'll put myself on the board soon. It is interesting where it's like, is this a part of a whole elaborate scheme to maybe hide an affair? Yeah. Because I didn't go there. I didn't go there either. I'm like, I'm very surprised he did.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
OK, let's dive in. OK. Okay, this first one. If you went to our LA live show, it might sound a little familiar, but I'm like, it's so good. I can't keep it in the vault forever. So it's coming from Am I the Asshole, a month old, titled, Am I the Asshole for continuing to wear makeup and dress in my normal style around a friend who thinks her husband has a crush on me? Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I feel like you wouldn't make it so like a billboard. Like this is a board in your home. Right. You're going to connect the dots for him to take the heat off? Yeah. I'm like that. I don't think he's having an affair. That would be another level of gaslighting to like literally put your affair on the board with a yarn string connecting. That'd be kind of fun. That'd be insane.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Top comment on this one. I really couldn't see it getting weirder until she mentioned adding herself to the board. This is a strange game your wife's playing, and it seems like an unhealthy obsession with infidelity. Right. This is her way of admitting to cheating. I'm so confused. So other people in the comments are kind of making that she's cheating. I guess.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And next comment is I'm thinking more fantasizing about doing it. If she was actually doing it, she wouldn't need this creepy hobby to keep her occupied. Which is what you said. You're kind of like, if she was having an affair, she wouldn't be doing all of this.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
A TV show. It's giving desperate housewives.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah, I have horror stories. I paid for trauma. Oh, my God. It's insane what people do with HOAs. It's nuts. Fuck HOAs. But we have an update on this one. Oh, okay. Great. I know. I love this. I know. Anyways, Jesus Christ. Firstly, appreciate all of the concern and not the assholes.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
It gave me the courage to approach her and tell her that while I may have overreacted by threatening our marriage, I think it is a creepy thing to do. She apologized and said she would get rid of the board. I thought we were good. Literally two days later... Two days later, shit hits the fan. Our happily married next door neighbor finds a woman's bra under the bed that does not belong to her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
It doesn't take long for the whole neighborhood to find out. Well, my wife is giddy, like jumping up and down for joy. She shows me the board, which she still didn't trash like she promised. And of course, the husband was marked with yarn, meaning he was likely to cheat. She told me the board was accurate after all, and maybe she should keep her hobby around.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I was definitely suspicious, so I looked at the board again later. It looked different from the last time I saw it, before the latest scandal. Instead of the yarn connecting to another neighbor, the cheating husband's yarn connected to a post-it with a question mark. Firstly, it was the only question mark there, and I swore it wasn't there the last time I saw the board.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
So either she changed it after the cheating to prove a point or slightly before it happened, which made me even more suspicious either way. Now, I felt like I was the detective and I was going crazy. I went over to the cheating husbands to ask a few questions. The wife was staying at her parents, so it was just the two of us. I asked him if he actually did it and he said no, he would never.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, we're rolling on everything. Thank you so much for coming in and joining me. Of course.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Then I asked if my wife had been over recently. He said one day while you were at work, his wife asked her to water a plant they had while they were both away and told her where the key was. So yes, she had been over. Is she planting all of this? I immediately raised an eyebrow. I asked if he still had the bra and he was getting nervous and told me not to get the wrong idea. I said, don't worry.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He still had the bra and I looked at it. It's his wife's. It was my wife's bra. But one I knew she almost never wore because it was from a lingerie set I bought her one Christmas and she said it was uncomfortable. I told my neighbor I needed to talk to my wife and ran out, but I told him not to worry. I approached her with the bra and asked her what was going on.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She played stupid, but I told her to cut the BS. I asked if she had either cheated on me with him or planted it there. Either way, she was in trouble. She confessed to planting the bra and said it was to make me admit that her hobby was valid. Or something. Oh, my God. She was dedicated. I flipped out on her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I said this was worse than her cheating on me because instead of ruining just our marriage, she ruined our neighbors and ours. I demanded she call the wife and admit to everything, even sending pictures of the board. I even showed the Reddit post, which actually helped convince her that my wife had planted it rather than cheating with her husband.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Well, they made up, but now I have no idea what to do. I'm barely speaking to my wife, and it is only a matter of time before the entire neighborhood figures this out. I seriously need advice. Yeah, he does. You gotta move. If he sent pictures of that board to the wife...
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
that revet like that i would spread around i would post it on the neighbor's app i would print it and put it on flyers on every telephone pole like we have we have a problem with this little board making like yeah the revenge is gonna come what is she doing hot at first i was supportive of her now i'm very sad for her because i don't know what she's doing
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I know. I feel like you'd have to go to therapy. Individuals therapy for her. Because I do think the board like could have been just a fun hobby, but to take it to this level is deranged. Now it's psycho. Yeah. It's a lot.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. And so it's like... It could have been. It could have been cool. And like there's so many people that obviously like are very into true crime and, you know, cheating scandals and all this stuff. But like I feel like there's a better way to pursue this hobby or get involved and volunteer your time with some organization, you know, maybe interviewing people or doing something.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But to take it this far to then like frame someone.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
that's where it's like it's getting really weird like you're kind of inching towards territory where like you want to try a crime just to see if you can get away with it yeah and there's there is a true crime like that that like there's lots of true crimes like that where they try yeah i feel like it happened recently where it was like a young college kid and he wanted to see if he could get away with murder and just like killed someone really
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Maybe it's an episode coming soon for you.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
My 29 female friend, 31 female, has told me that her husband, 35 male, has a crush on me and has recently told her that he fantasizes over me. This already makes me feel very awkward, but now she asked me if I can stop wearing makeup and wear baggy clothes around him.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, my God. They look so alike. The eyes and the hollowed, like hollowed deep socket eyes. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
It's so interesting. I just fell down the rabbit hole. Of that one artist. He's the artist behind like ballerinas being Jack the Ripper. What? Oh, you are going to eat this up. Okay. I think it's Degas.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. So Edgar Degas. Uh-huh. So he had this disease, actually. And there's a there's a whole I'll send you a TikTok and you're just literally going to go down the rabbit hole. But it it starts out as like this woman saying, I think Degas is actually Jack the Ripper. Here's why.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He would, one, be obsessed with ballerinas who oftentimes were prostitutes and other like jobs that were prostitutes like wash maidens and stuff like that. And all of Jack the Ripper's victims were women like of the night or I'm butchering this. Yes. And so she was like, he never wrote letters. But during the time of these killings, he randomly wrote a letter to someone about a dinner he had.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He was antisocial. He didn't write letters. He happened to take random day trips to London to... visit a friend and then would disappear. Like all of these correlations. And then he had this disease where he lost his vision. But another correlation with this disease is the gray matter behind your eyes really decreases.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And if you do brain scans of a lot of serial killers, the gray matter behind their eyes doesn't have a lot of activity. And there's so many different correlations and It's just really, really crazy. I love that. You're going to, I 100% think it was him.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No, I'm like, there's no DNA at this point.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Which is so wild to think of now. No, like the times. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I would not. I think, oh God, it's just crazy. And then just the way you got like taken out if you were guilty, like firing squad, hanging. Crazy. Yeah. This got real dark. Yeah, it started in my life.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
We went out for dinner last night at a reasonably expensive restaurant with a few others, seven of us in total, and she texted me when I got home saying she was angry at me for, quote, looking hot after she asked me not to wear makeup. She's my friend and I want to do the right thing, but there's nothing I could wear that is baggy that would have suited the restaurant we were in, Michelin star.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. Divorce worthy? Like, where do you, where would you go from there? I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I always wonder that because I feel like we as women are trained to listen to our gut way more. I feel like our safety is like you have an experience every day where at least I do or I'm also paranoid. But you kind of look over your shoulder a little bit and like you have to be more on edge. Walking at night is a little scary. I don't think a lot of guys have that same gut instinct or like fear.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know. I don't know either. I'm curious.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I mean, he had a hunch about this. He got paranoid. He's like, he heard this cheating scandal pop up and he knew. He goes, something's fishy here. Something is fishy now that she planted that. Maybe. What if she didn't actually plant it?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
What if she's lying? I don't, I don't know. I'm like, this lady is on, she's a little unhinged.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
What if they were actually sleeping together and now he just got the wife to take him back? Oh, I lied? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. The board, the whole board was a scheme? I feel like she would have said something. Someone would have cracked. Right? I personally would have cracked.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Shoulder to cry on. Don't worry. I'll keep watering your plants.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Let's ask her what she's doing. Pull it up. Top comment on this one. I honestly refuse to believe this is real. Your wife is actually nuts. This is insane behavior to have. Next comment. I was thinking just the opposite. This one is so original. It's got to be real. No AI is going to come up with this insanity. That's left to humans. Yeah, it's true.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
have you had any like true crime things come up on your channel where you've had elaborate coverups like this, like hiding a bra or just like the weird map or like what, like what's the craziest thing you've seen someone do to, Erase their tracks.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
My style is very conservative, and I wear a very average dress with heels. I've written out several responses, ranging from an apology to being quite rude, but I wanted to sense check my thoughts here before I go back to her. I don't want to make life difficult for her, but what she's asking for feels unreasonable. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
This feels iconic. I'm like sitting here. I'm like, God, your makeup is even better in person.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
We make charts. Pie chart. Okay. One thing I haven't done is look and see if there's any comments from OP. We have an update. A final update. We have a final update on this guy? It was posted four hours ago. Oh, shit. Four hours ago now. Oh, God.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Originally posted two months ago. Oh, wow. So things really played out quickly. I'm scared. Final update. I hope. It's been months since the last update. Sorry I've been busy. Long story short, my wife is in a mental health facility.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
After what happened previously, I did not speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could. Well, a few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally, my wife offered to take me out to a very nice restaurant and make things up to me. She told me everything was behind her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And while I was avoiding her, she had actually started online therapy to get help and realized now that what she did was wrong. I really believed her and we had a great night. One thing led to another and yeah, lol. It took about two days after that for her to get a pregnancy test and she texted me the positive result.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah, I know some of you already think I'm a fucking moron, but it had been a rough year and this made me really happy. I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office to a baby room, looking up ways to prepare, book appointments, planning a shower, etc. A really fun but whirlwind week.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Unfortunately, she told me the first ultrasound was at a time I had to be at work and she would have to go alone. Really bummed me out and I asked her to reschedule, but she said it was the only availability. Well, that next week she went and I was waiting for an update, a picture, anything, nothing.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She came home and was super quiet and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst has happened. I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain and something, but she told me she had to tell me something. She finally admitted, no, she wasn't dealing with losing the baby. But she was actually pregnant for longer than she thought. Longer than the last time we did it. Uh-oh.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She actually got pregnant during the time I was avoiding her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Ma'am! Obviously, I was so mad and upset. I couldn't understand why she would do this to me. But then I realized all the signs were there for so long and all the comments telling me she was probably cheating were right. But I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really love my wife and I couldn't believe it.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I asked her who it could have been and she actually said she didn't know. She said she hadn't done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She swore it and also didn't know what this meant. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, her tummy should be showing, and it wasn't. I decided to call the place and ask them to confirm what they said. My wife told me it would be a waste of time and she promised she heard them clearly, so I didn't do it that night.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Why does your skin crawl? Just like, can you imagine your partner going to you and saying, your friend, I have fantasies about her. I'm like, that's an inside thought.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But I couldn't sleep without hearing it from the doctors for myself. I called the clinic she told me she went to the next day in the morning and asked them to confirm the results. They told me something worse than I expected. She had no visit. She was never there. I didn't understand that at all.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Before I talked to my wife again, I did what I should have done in the first place and reverse image searched the pregnancy test image. Yeah, it was on Google from a random years old Facebook post. I was again really mad at my wife and couldn't believe that she had put me through all of this.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I am just... Wow. I confronted her about the picture and that I called the place and there was no appointment. I told her she had a pattern of lying and this was probably the end of our relationship. But she responded in a way I didn't expect. She burst into tears and had a manic episode.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
but then said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant and that I had made this up in my head because I couldn't face what she did to me. She said she felt like the devil and started sobbing and literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She locked herself in the bathroom and told me she was going to hurt herself over what she did to me.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I couldn't get the door open and freaked out. I called the cops and they broke down the door. She wasn't hurt, but she was really out of it. They took her to get mental health help and she told them everything there. She even started mixing in stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a cheater. So she had done the same because she was in an evil place.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
She promised them she was pregnant, but she didn't know who the father was. They tested her while she was in custody. No pregnancy at all. They told me she was likely suffering from a form of schizophrenia and acted genuinely believing that what she was saying was true and likely always had to some level, but it seemed to be getting worse.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
They said she had a symptom called self-accusation and needed help. I got her in a facility last week. She is safe. They're making a little progress. I do not think that she thinks she's pregnant anymore. I have visited a few times, but she is very withdrawn with me and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That's not something you share. It's like, are you trying to bring my self-esteem down? Right. What's the purpose behind that comment? I'm not sure.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence, but now I just feel terrible that I did not get her the help she needed when all the real signs were there. I hope her medication starts to help and she can be normal again. And yeah, the neighborhood gossip is having a field day with all of this. I bet. I bet. Anyways, thanks for listening.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I hope this is my last update. Thank you all for the help.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
They're both absolutely going through it. And, you know, I didn't jump to cheating from the jump. Like that first post, I didn't jump to cheating. Mm-mm. And even the second, we were kind of like, well, what is this all for still? And it does make sense, like severe mental illness. But like him being like, I feel bad. I didn't get her the help she needed.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know if I would have recognized these as warning signs, like the chart.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And, like, now having this whole resolution, which, wow. I do think there could be a makeup here. They could mend this after a lot of therapy, medication management. But, like, I have more hope now that, like, she's got a diagnosis and is getting help versus where we left off on update two of, like, her just planting this just to be
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
evil or do create chaos totally i don't know you don't know if there's any there's no hope bailey bailey there's no hope
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know. I'm wondering. He seems so hopeful that, like, I could see him giving it a shot. Like, poor guy didn't really know how ovulation and pregnancy works by the sound of it to, like, get a test a couple days later. Like, it sounds like she kind of used his ignorance against him in that regard. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
All the time. People fake pregnancies all the time to get closer to their partner or forgive me or whatever. Like, that's not far fetched.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
What are you doing? There's other ways. There's other people even.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
There's other ways to manipulate someone. No, there's other people.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, my God. I feel like she would have been one to like order the pregnancy pillow too and like fake it. You think? And fake it. There was that one true crime story about the woman who literally wore a bump, faked it alongside her pregnant best friend, murdered the friend. Tried to get the baby. And took the baby. Yep. Yep. Yep.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
sick like you just don't know where people can go i know where they'll take things i know right because first it's a simple chart and now you just don't know you just don't know people surprise me every day well i'll be sure to post the link on this one no comments from op on any of these posts i don't know how old was he So that's what I went to go look back at. No mention of ages.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. It's so odd. And I'm like, I get being in a bad relationship where it's like you feel like the only person you could control is your friend versus the husband. But like you said, it's not your friend's problem. Like, no, get your husband in check.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, interesting. So they could be young. They could be 23. I mean, married, but no mention of kids or anything yet. So, I mean, they could be young. She could be, you know, 23, 24 and having her first, you know, mental break. Poor thing.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I can't even imagine. I know. I can't imagine.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I am too. Which does, the top comment does say the same thing. She was probably suffering from mental illness for a while. The recovery will be a long process. I've been through something similar as this and finally divorced years after. I wish you luck and advise you to get some counseling yourself to learn how to deal with this. Good luck.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That's a lot. It's a lot for both of them. And like, I feel so bad for her too, to like be in this facility. And she's like, I can't even look you in the eyes. I feel too guilty.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I feel like based on the comment that she's not like she doesn't think she's pregnant anymore. It maybe feels like she's starting to come back down to reality and kind of out of that manic episode.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Dude, I, again, I am very, I recognize I'm a little paranoid, but like if I have a gummy some nights and I start seeing stuff, I'm like, this was a bad idea. Like this is going to cause me to have like my break or like even if I don't have a gummy and I'm like walking around outside and I see something out of the corner of my eye, I'm like, Am I okay? Like, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like, it would be so scary because I feel like if you were going down that mental health, like down that spiral, it's a slow burn maybe initially. It seems that way based off of what I've read. Yeah. I'd love, I know we have a lot of listeners that have things like bipolar and I know we have some listeners with schizophrenia.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
If you could comment and like provide some insight about, you know, what that looked like for you, if you're comfortable, of course, or, you know, what you see happening for this relationship. And if there's a chance of making amends, I'd love to have your takes in the comments. It'd be really appreciated.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I'd love that. And like how do you wish you would have been supported during your initial, you know, psychosis? Right. Like that would be really helpful for a lot of people too because – You know, we do have a lot of people that are young and dating. Who knows if your partner will be affected by something like this. I know. It's so scary. It's a lot. But comment your thoughts.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Otherwise, we're moving along. Okay. Do we want to lighten the mood a little bit?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
You like this? I like it. You like this? Okay, well, I'm going to at least give us something a little satisfying. I just found this subreddit. It's the first time I think we're dabbling with this. It's called r slash traumatize them back. Uh-huh. So I've got a quick one from this. Supermarket aisle earlier this evening, I just witnessed a massacre.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
A 20-something man carrying a baby in a sling is trying to shop in peace, only to be accosted by an older woman. Making eye contact with him and then me, she loudly proclaims, quote, I love to see a man doing the babysitting. Are you giving his mom a break? To which he replies, quote, I am her mom. I just haven't had a chance to look at myself much after having a newborn.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Clearly dying inside, the woman sputters, bows backwards, apologizing, and disappears around the corner. He then casually says to me, quote, I'm her dad, really. I just don't like it when they call it babysitting. It was legendary. Perhaps the greatest thing I've ever seen in real life.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I laughed so hard, especially when I rounded the corner and realized she had heard him, dumped her trolley, and ran out of the shop. Dads of Reddit, next time someone calls taking care of your child babysitting, follow his example. They'll never do it again.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, so satisfying. I love this subreddit. It's like petty revenge, but like on steroids.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Nice. Satisfying little one. But moving along. You've never heard of Cuckooed, right?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Okay. This is new for me. Cuckooed. Cuckooed.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I'm thinking it's a term from the UK, but you'll see. So this post is coming from r slash legal advice UK. So I would think UK term. It's titled, I think my neighbor has been cuckooed. Hi, I'll try to keep this short. This is in England, by the way. I live in a semi-detached house that's been split into two flats. I live in the upstairs one.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
My neighbor, an elderly woman in her mid-80s, in the downstairs one. We're sort of loose friends slash acquaintances. I take her to bridge nights every so often, do her shopping, and she lets me use her garden when the weather's nicer or lets me get some food shopping on her card. That kind of stuff. Every so often, I do a bit of baking, and I like to take her a bit. A slice of cake, for example.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And at the end of September, when I went downstairs, an older man came to the door. Never seen this bloke before, and he was probably 60s. Not middle-aged, but not her age, if you get what I mean, and dressed a bit weird in a blazer and tie. Was very aggressive and asked what I wanted.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I said I was here to see my neighbor, and he said in this weird faux posh accent, quote, Mrs. X is not taking visitors right now, but took the cake and slammed the door in my face. Really weird, but assumed it was her son or something. I know she has kids, but they're not in the picture. Ever since then, things have gotten weirder. I've only seen my neighbor twice.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Once when she was in the garden with him, and once being bundled off into a car very late at night before coming back in the early hours of the morning. Both times, she looked very uncomfortable. Over the last few weeks, I've noticed the curtains are always shut and her garden is getting overgrown and untidy. Some nights they're shouting. I can hear a male and female voice, but it's not hers.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And a few times I've seen a Filipino woman coming to and from the property. Whenever I've encountered the man, when leaving the house more or less, or seen him leaving the property, he's either blanked me or gotten very aggressive when I try to speak to him. I once asked if my neighbor was okay, and he threatened to contact the neighborhood watch.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I did contact the police on 101, and they were trying to fob me off and sort of implying because it's an older bloke and not obviously related to county lines, which I don't think it is, they're not really interested. More or less, got told it's probably just her boyfriend and I should stop being nosy. I'm really concerned for my neighbor.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
So is there any way I can get the police interested or maybe contact someone at the council? Thank you for any advice. Damn. Cuckooed. Cuckooed?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No mention of our writer's age, but woman is elderly woman in her mid 80s. The guy cuckooing is 60s. So kind of a big age gap to like be dating.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
A lot of people were confused about the cuckooing. Yeah. So asking like, what is cuckooing? And OP responds, it's based off the bird from what I know. I learned about it because my sister's father-in-law is in the drugs squad and deals with it. Basically, I'm concerned this bloke has moved in to her flat and is using it for whatever shit he's pulling.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable going over to her place anymore. Right. Especially if he's going to be there. Right. It'd just be weird. There's no way. No. No way. Mm-mm. Top comment on this one, total not the asshole. For one thing, I don't think it's possible to dress appropriately for a nice restaurant without looking hot to someone who already finds you attractive.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Though, funnily enough, I've never actually seen him do anything out of the ordinary beyond being a bellend and having this Filipino woman around every so often. I'm going to Google cuckooing too one more time. I'm like,
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I could see that. Which makes sense. They're not a monogamous bird. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. So the definition of cuckooing, it's a form of action termed by the police in which the home of a vulnerable person is taken over by a criminal in order to use it to deal, store, or take drugs, facilitate sex work as a place for them to live, or to financially abuse the tenant. What? Wait, watch, watch, watch, watch. So is this like a squatter?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Who just moves in. It's giving like an intense squatter.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, poor thing. That sucks. In her 80s? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I'd lie. I'd start being like, I saw him cooking in there. I saw something happening. Right. We need investigation.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No, I hugged you. I'm like, your pores, you have none. Where are they? Really?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I'd become a peeper to make sure my neighbor's okay.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I mean, her garden's overrun. The warning signs are there.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
You got to do something. You got to get in. You got to get in there. Yeah, there's something going on. Someone does recommend like trying the adult social services at your local council, even if there isn't enough evidence of a crime for the police to investigate at this stage. The way she's being isolated from you is a warning sign for elder abuse. And it definitely is. Yeah, that's sad.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
There's like a lot. Being locked away. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of, like, warning signs for elder abuse. And I, like, I used to really have them locked down. But, like, there's so many, you know, careers that are mandated reporters. So I just start calling a hotline. Something. Get someone in there. Yeah. Get someone in there.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I would make up anything. Who cares if you get a ticket for a false report? He's being weird. He's being rude. Something's not right. You haven't seen her. You've seen her twice. Twice? Twice. That's crazy. Because this was originally posted October 29th. So to see her only a couple times since September? Maybe she's sick.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And more generally, as long as you're not hitting on the husband or intentionally dressing provocatively to catch his attention, which it sounds like you're not, then this is a her problem, not a you problem. Here's another point. Why on earth did she tell you that her husband has the hots for you? Completely inappropriate. That's something to be handled within the marriage. Agree. As you said.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, I love that. We got an update. Okay. Update. Hi there. You might remember this post I made the other week about my neighbor being cuckooed. The short answer is she was, though probably not for the reasons any of us expected. Okay, so what happened after the post? The next day, I contacted the council's MASH team as advised, and they were extremely helpful.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
They were immediately concerned and said that they would be sending someone to check on her. They also asked if I could keep a diary of any events as they would like to speak to me when they do arrive. And I said, I'll make a log of whatever happens. So the week goes by and more weird stuff happens. It was all quiet.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And then on Halloween, a group of older gentlemen come to the property and then some women who I assumed were strippers. They show up before leaving a few minutes later, screaming at the man who's in the flat. And he kept threatening to report them and was waving around this insect spray. Anytime any trick-or-treaters came by, they'd get the same response. It was really fucking weird.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
On Friday night, I see my neighbor getting bundled into a minicab and then returned early hours of Sunday in a different minicab with the old bloke screaming at the driver before he rushes her inside. Again, all very weird. Anyways, yesterday, two social workers arrive and talk to me.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I show them everything I've written, and they agree this looks very much like cuckooing, but they aren't sure why this old bloke is doing it or what he's doing with the property. Now, I wasn't there for the initial confrontation, but I know they went down to speak to him, and he immediately went on the usual spiel. I'm going to report you to the neighbor's watch, get off my property, etc.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
When they weren't going, he sprayed them in the eyes with something and slammed the door shut. What? What is going on? Police and ambulance were rang, and I helped them wash their eyes out. From what I could hear when the police arrived, he tried the same bullshit with them. The spraying, not the neighborhood watch. But sounded like they tackled him and he got hauled away in cuffs.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Police found my neighbor in the property. padlocked in the box room before she was taken to the hospital. Jesus. We did get into the property later. And for the most part, it was how it had been left. But every door, I mean, every door had a padlock on it.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I did speak to my neighbor in the hospital, her kids are coming down, and she explained to me that she met this man at her bridge club, where he claimed he was in the parachute regiment, but was now down on his luck, and asked if he could stay with her for a night or two. Unfortunately, she had agreed.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Apparently the first evening was fine, but the next day, the moment she goes into the toilet, he attaches a padlock to it and locks her in. Oh my God. What a psycho. That's when the abuse started. During the time he was living there, he apparently tried to take control of the flat and her bank accounts with the goal of chucking her out.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
and he would get angry and scream at her when she didn't get into him, but she refused to respond to him. She didn't really want to say much, but said he told people she was his cleaner, and the cars in the middle of the night were taxis taking her to hotels all across the region to try and get rid of her.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I am not okay. I had to leave after that, but she said one day he had one of his little parties and the flat was fine from the fact someone had smeared shit on their wall.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
As for the bloke, no idea what happened, and we've had all the locks changed. Though we have suspicions he'll attempt to return one night. I did hear someone try to handle to the front door. I assume they mean a crowbar. Mm-hmm. My neighbor is going to go stay with my sister when she's discharged. And some of my bigger mates from Warhammer have offered to stay downstairs just in case.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But we'll see. Thank you all for the assistance. You all were amazing. I showed her all the comments and she was blown away by the support. So a huge thank you from both of us.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I think he would have if she would have given him banking info and all of that stuff. Totally. I 100% think this would have turned into true crime. I have no doubt in my mind. Yeah, for sure. This is coming from LegalAdviceReddit. This is not one of our like no sleep, like crazy fiction stories. This is coming from legal advice.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Imagine if this person wouldn't have had like that gut instinct that something was wrong or whatever. Like this could have gone so wrong. Thank God this little subreddit was here and they actually got like good legal advice. And thank God the social workers showed up.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't know. It seems like this neighbor writing in really is support. Mm-hmm. I mean, for this woman to get out of the hospital and then go live with our writer's sister.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That, I mean, they sound like really close, like almost like family. Yeah, totally. So I don't know. Maybe the kids live far. Maybe the kids live in the States. Time different. Who knows? But it is odd to not have talked to your mom for a month. Mm hmm. And maybe she was allowed a phone call, but he sat there over her with a weapon or a knife or who knows. Like, you better not say anything.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I hope he got locked up. I hope so. Which I do have hope that he did get locked up because I Googled, is cuckooing a big problem in the UK? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
poor google terms probably but as of may 15th 2024 the government has finally accepted the evil practice of cuckooing and police now have the powers to take down cuckooers nice so laws have been changed like maybe it's more enforceable because otherwise like that would have been kind of a interesting thing to prosecute because it's like well she let me in with permission and
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I know. I know. I really appreciate that. The squatter stuff in California especially is really, really crazy. Bizarre. Really crazy.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like, I don't know. What do you want her in? A trash bag? Come on.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I saw this video of a guy on TikTok who his sister had an Airbnb and the lady stayed and like is a squatter now. And so he moved in and is just like terrorizing this person. I love it. I love that for other people.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
No, I remember my realtor kind of like just... I don't know why she told me this. I don't think it was really a big concern. But when we got our first home, she was like, you know, I don't think this will ever be an issue. But just so you know, technically you can close. The escrow, confusing, will fund and close the sale. But there's nothing necessarily to force them to leave. It's your house.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
If they choose to stay, they could. And you would have to get the sheriff involved to then evict them. Oh, my gosh. And I'm like, what? How do they even have rights to do that? And if they're not leaving, why would the escrow pay? Right. That seems like so wonky.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
It happens all the time. Yeah, it's weird. I don't get it. I'm just... I don't get it. I'm so glad this little lady's okay. Me too. Yeah. I'm so happy.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I think he just wanted a place to live, trying to get her money. Jesus. Just needed a roof over his head.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And to, like, play the military card. Like, you knew you were garnering sympathy. Like, maybe he was in the military. Maybe that wasn't a lie, but... I don't believe him. Not for a second.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Bridge club. Yeah. I went to bridge club finding it scoping out his victim.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Okay, one last one for us. This is coming from Am I the Asshole, three days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Picking Off the Nuts on an Ice Cream Cone?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yesterday, my 20 female boyfriend, 19 male, bought us both ice cream. When we got it, the server asked if I wanted a special type of cone. I said yes, picking out what looked to me to be bits of cookie stuck to chocolate on the cone. My boyfriend got this as well, and it cost an extra $6 on top of the $18 already for the ice cream.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He paid for it as his treat, even though I think he didn't expect it to be so expensive. When I started to eat, I realized it was actually bits of peanut. I'm not allergic, but I don't really like nuts that much, especially on sweet ice cream when the flavors don't really match up. I started to pick off the nuts. Most of them were stuck on pretty hard.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Honestly, I could see a bonnet coming into play because you can't show that either. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I eventually just ripped off the entire chocolate part of the cone and threw it into the bin. I didn't notice my boyfriend at first, but about 30 seconds later he stormed off and I could see he was crying. something I haven't ever seen him do before.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I chased after him and asked him what was wrong, and he yelled at me for being ungrateful and for making him literally throw away his money for no reason. This made me very upset as well, and I started crying too. He calmed down and comforted me after this, but never properly apologized."
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
For additional context, earlier that day, we went out to my favorite fast food place and I picked out something that I hadn't tried before rather than my regular. He paid for it, but I didn't end up eating it because I didn't really like it. So I let him have it. I felt hungry after that. And after I told him, he then took me to get the ice cream.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That would have been way more respectful.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Since I got home that day, he hasn't messaged me back at all. And I'm starting to get worried. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. OP responds to that top comment. Thank you for your response. Added a not safer work because of the fantasy bit, but then chose not to elaborate on that part. So I've removed it now. I'm not sure why she told me either. The first time she said it was cute that he had a crush on me. And then she started getting a bit more detailed about it.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Have you ever had gingers here in L.A.? No. No. So, so good. Really? So good. They have a lot of vegan options, so that's why we go there a lot. And to get like a tiny little one, I think it's like 18. It's just like... It's ridiculous. It's insane.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
So, you know my favorite ice cream? Hmm. Ikea. Really? Yep. It's like a dollar for a cone. $1.99, something like that. Damn. Members get a discount. And it is the best custardy cone ever.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
so good and that like it's like that sugar cone too that like the ice cream soaks in and then it gets like a little soggy but it's so good best cone ever I also I go to Ikea for lunch a lot too I get the meatballs plant balls yeah best lunch you'll ever have it's so good I avoid Ikea at all costs
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Anytime you want to go to Ikea, a little lunch. Ikea date? I'm ready. Seriously, it's such good food, you guys. It's so slept on for a date. It's so funny. It's so slept on.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Sponsorship? Not yet. I'm here, Ikea. With the meatballs?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But this one, I mean, do you think they can make up or do you think like this is kind of a, is the ice cream the straw that broke the camel's back?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I did not even consider that. And it's such a valuable point because that gets to be so unhealthy. And then especially if it's around food, like you don't want to instill unhealthy eating habits or, you know, cause that to domino into something else. Oh, mic drop, Bailey. Okay. Yeah. Let's go.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. Well, and you shouldn't be forced to eat stuff you don't like. Like, it's OK to get something and then realize you don't like it. Right. Especially like it's fast food and ice cream. I, you know, I get going to a Michelin star and ordering a hundred dollar steak and then all of a sudden being like, I don't like it. I'm not eating it. That's kind of shitty.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Eat it. But, yeah. I'm like, there's... I'm like, this doesn't need to be so heavy, so serious. No.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Oh, my gosh, yeah. I worked at Perkins as a hostess.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That's one thing. I'm like, we should start having people take communication classes like in high school. Like literally, let's all learn how to talk to people again. Definitely. Because I feel like a lot of that is really missing these days. Definitely. Definitely. Really missing.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I think so. Which we do have some comments from OP. He yelled at me over the ice cream, which yelling about this, like, here we go. All the more reason for communication classes. Yeah. There is a comment here, which is interesting. OP got asked, like, why didn't you buy the ice cream after he bought you the fast food? I'm saving my money for a car.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. Because, like, if you start with a crush, like, oh, he's got a crush on you. And, like, there's no mention of this person having a boyfriend or, like, whatever, like, no relationship. So it's like, Maybe she was trying to broach it. And now that it wasn't reciprocated is now like it's just weird. Well, now we got to shut this down. Yeah. Like we can't engage. Right.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He doesn't have his license yet, so he has more money to spend freely. But what's interesting, and it doesn't appear until the 10th comment, he did just lose his job, but he still has a bit saved up and he doesn't really have any big expenses. Aw, maybe he's gone through a lot. That's starting to add up why he cried. Yeah. Because like to spend your money on someone twice.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Throwing it away. Uh-huh. Not liking it. You lost your job. That could be. I know it's over like a $3 cone. Maybe that's his last $3. Totally.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I literally, if I go out to eat with someone and like it's like a first time going out to eat with them, like a new friend or a work person, if they don't say thank you to people, I write them off. And like the way you treat people and just so easy. It's two words.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Thank you. Thank you. Top comment. Where do you think this one went? Do you think you're the asshole, not the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Mm-hmm. You're the asshole. You, one, he bought you food once that you wound up not eating. Two, you then complained about being hungry. Three, he then heard that and went to buy you more food, ice cream, which you then proceeded to Hulk smash in front of him. I get not liking nuts, but come on. Hulk smash.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Four, you somehow still didn't realize the multiple things you did, which are generally considered rude. Five, somehow you made you hurting his feelings into you being the victim. And six, you wound up expecting an apology from him instead of the other way around. Also, did you even thank him a single time for all the food you wasted?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Or did you just repeatedly ask for food and waste it in front of him?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I could see why he'd be just like at his wits end. Yeah, totally. And guys can cry too. Like there's no shame in that. I was initially very surprised over like. The ice cream cone. You're crying over spilled milk in a sense. Like that was odd. But if this is like I'm just being kind of walked over, like walked over. She's not gracious. She's entitled. I'm not getting a thank you. Like I'd cry too.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I don't think I'd make up over this one. I think you're just just go.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Ah, man. Someone just asked me the other day. It was a really good interview with a woman named Natalie. And she asked me, she was like, what do you think people get out of your podcast? And I was like, I think it's something for so many people, like it's something different for everyone.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. There's so many ways it could go. Well, we do have an edit. Oh, yeah. We get a little bit more detail. I love it. Thank you so much for all your responses. It's 421 a.m. here in the UK. So I will write out and send response tomorrow and we'll update you all on here. Sorry, I can't respond to everyone. I didn't expect so many responses. edit too.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But I was like, I think one thing, and this just came to me recently, there's a saying where it's like, comparison is the thief of joy.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
This is the opposite. You might be comparing, but I hope it brings you joy instead of stealing it from you. But Bailey, thank you so, so much for being here today. Thank you for having me. Where can everyone find you?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Your content is so good. I just started the Aaron Hernandez one because it is football season and- Football. I'm diving into it. And that was a really- That was a crazy, crazy case as well. So I will I will be sure to put all of Bailey's links in the description. Really easy to find.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
But make sure you go and give a watch if you haven't already, because I mean, that auto one that the attic guy lived in the attic for 10 years. I will link that one. It's nuts. It's insane, you guys. Yeah, it's so good.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. Check it out for yourself. Check it out. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a lot of fun. It's been so good. Until next time, guys. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
While I was reading your response, he just liked an old Instagram picture from way back. A bikini picture. The friend? The friend's husband. He is now blocked. Final update, edit three. I responded with the following to my friend, quote, sorry, it's taken me a while to reply, but I wanted to consider this properly and not react emotionally.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't think it's fair or reasonable to ask me to change how I look because of your husband. My advice is to speak to husband's name and work on your relationship because projecting your issues onto me isn't going to help you, but it will damage our friendship. You have nothing to be insecure about.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
You're the most beautiful person inside and out that I've ever met. I'm here for you if you want to talk through it, but ultimately I can't help it if I'm smoking hot. Just kidding. XXX. Oh my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I love that. I need to like capture some of this like calm.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
That was really good. Take notes, everyone. Take notes. That's how you do it. Five minutes after I pressed send, she knocked on my door. Shut up. She was already on her way, showed up with a bunch of flowers and cried and gave me a hug while apologizing. She told me they were having problems and it was wrong of her to take it out on me.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
We had a long chat and I'm going to be there to support my friend. Thank you all for your input. You all helped so much. Additional info, I've had a lot of people messaging me asking if they can post my story elsewhere and a couple of reporters even.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I love that. Well, if you haven't recognized her amazing voice and beautiful face yet, today we are joined by Bailey Sarian. But I am so excited to have you. I have been watching your videos for a while now, and I just watched your recent one about the lady who had Otto in the attic for 10 years. For 10 years, she had a quote-unquote sex slave in her attic. I was losing my mind. Me too.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
You hope. And I think that's why like friendship breakups, I really think they do hurt sometimes, oftentimes worse than relationship ending. Like friendships just going to shit is like it's so much stress.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Really good. Yeah. Everyone's like, wait, when's the other shoe going to drop? I know. I'm like, it feels like too good to be true a little bit. Right, guys?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Yeah. And... I will bet it comes. I'm like, I don't wish for people's downfall, but I don't think he sounds like a great guy so far.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
His head's turning. Mm-hmm. To go like her bikini picture?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He's trying to, like, plant little seeds and then slide into the DMs and hope he has a target that's not going to tell his wife.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Dude. Ew. Ew. Super gross. Ew. This next one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my brother that he and his wife's Halloween costumes were tasteless? My brother, 26 male, is super into true crime. His wife, 24 female, humors him. This Halloween, although they couldn't host a proper party, they dressed up as Charles Manson and Sharon Tate.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
I told him ahead of time it would be tasteless, and he said, they're just costumes. I ignored all of his posts during Halloween. I can't explain why, but it really, really bothered me. Like, probably more than it should have. I just don't think Sharon Tate should be remembered for the way she died.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Anyways, his wife is pregnant, which is part of the reason why they did the costume in the first place. She's also blonde. He posted a photo of her with a nosebleed and said, channeling Sharon Tate energy. And I commented on the post that he should really back the fuck off of Sharon Tate at this point. He replied saying I'm no fun and told me to delete my comment.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
He's saying it's disgusting that I tried to humiliate him over someone who's dead and that I don't even know. He says he can see where it's offensive, but Sharon Tate won't ever see it, and I should stop making such a big deal. Even if I think it's wrong, he says my comment was inappropriate. The comment? Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
All right. Do you think like there's a difference? Because like I think a lot of people do dress up
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
as killers I mean you see it a lot too depending on like the Netflix cycle and what's out like I feel like when that Bundy show came out a lot of people dressed up as Bundy like it was a big thing but I'm wondering here if it's like it's not so much the serial killer that's the issue but then the victim bringing the victim into it and dressing up as like a couple costume with the victim as the wife is also pregnant which is just like
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
And it just kept getting worse and worse, and I'm like, and you have Otto up there still, and you got a new guy? I'm like, what? What is this?
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
Like wouldn't have seen this one coming. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
194: Makeup Possible Here? Ft. Bailey Sarian
So I don't know. I don't know. I know. It's really, really odd. And like, I love true crime. Like I am big into the podcast and all the YouTube stuff, but it's like.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Hi, friends. Just popping in. Want to let you know we are doing a spring cleaning sale for all of our merch, including this amazing sweatshirt with the tour logo that we did. It doesn't have any dates or cities on the back, so anyone can get it. But everything is on sale. Some of the stuff is up to 40% off. And what better time to get it when it's a deal? So head on over.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that's what it's about. And that's coming from such like a secure place. Like that's such a like, I know what I want. I'm happy. I don't care what anyone else thinks. Yeah. And I love that. And I, myself, I'm like, okay, I need to embrace that more in, like, some areas of my life. And I do agree because I'm like, you see, cars.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I was like, wait, she's a lawyer and now she's podcasting and she was The Bachelorette? Like, what hasn't this woman done?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I think cars are another one of those things that, like, you can really be like, that's your personality. Clearly, it's not mine, but, like, good for you. Like, would I drive an orange Kia Soul? No. No. Am I happy that someone else can afford that? I'm like, good for them. But it's not my first choice on a car. So I think an engagement ring is something like that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like I've had people like I went very classic. I did just. Your ring is beautiful, by the way. This is not an ugly baby comment. It's beautiful. But I went like very safe. I went like it's an oval stone, hidden halo underneath. It's kind of the ring everyone's doing right now. And I've even had people still say like, oh, that's kind of basic. And I'm like.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
okay fuck you as you should like as you like it's it's my ring like I don't care if you like it or not but in the moment I was kind of like oh because you are so excited so I'm like you're not wrong for feeling like that but like move past it as you're saying like Fuck them.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Just bitter, bitter, miserable. Yeah. OK, you want to see it? You're nervous. I'm about to be that person. I honestly, I don't think I knew what an opal was until this. I'm familiar with opal because...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I do see the shape now. It's almost... I was envisioning, too, like, this June bug or, like, a scarab. Which, like, some cultures, they're very meaningful, those little scarabs and whatever.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I am on this one. You go, girl. I like it. I'm in the boat of like to each their own. And I think hearing Stepford Wives, that's like the best way to put it. Like if everyone had this round oval engagement ring, like I got like, where's the uniqueness? Where's the beauty? If it's all the same and just it's the same.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It becomes oatmeal. If you're if everyone has the same, it's just like it's oatmeal. It's like it's meh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I love a pivot. I know, right? I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of a pivot. And it's like, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and stick with something and do this. And, oh, it's don't rock the boat. And it's like, no, rock the boat.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Send him Rachel's way. Oh my gosh. No, I agree. And I'm really excited for you. Congratulations on your engagement. And this is all good because there's so many people that write into Reddit and are like, my fiance got me a ring and I hate it. What do I do? And it's like, Those people feel like they can't even have conversations with someone they're supposed to marry. I can't imagine.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And explain, hey, I just want to get something a little more me. Yeah. You have a partner that fully curated a ring for you and has everything you wanted and more. It's beautiful. So let the comments roll off your back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Or the woman yourself. Yeah, herself. Yeah. Don't go rogue. Don't go rogue. Oh, there's so many rings out there. And, like, don't go rogue. Get what she's going to love or what they're going to love because it's a big thing. And, like, for a lot of people, it's the only ring they'll have. Yeah. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Am I the Asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It is 14 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Help My Best Friend with Her Wedding Because She Didn't Make Me a Bridesmaid? I mean, you're a friend, right? So...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Are you ready? There's more? There's more. Okay. Okay. Let me shut up. My best friend, 24 female, we'll call her May, and I, 24 female, have been close since middle school. We talked about being in each other's weddings. So when she got engaged last year, I assumed I would be a bridesmaid.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She recently asked me to help with the wedding planning, but when she showed me the list for her bridal party, I wasn't on the list. I asked why, and she got awkward and said that she had to make some choices. The party included her sister, her fiancé's sister, and a few newer friends she's known for only a couple of years. She wanted a small party. I didn't make it a big deal, though.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I congratulated her and figured I'd still be a guest. But then she started asking me for a lot of help. Things like dress shopping, DIY decorations, venue hunting, making party favors, etc., etc. I finally told her, quote, Hey, I love you, but I feel weird doing all of this when I'm not even a bridesmaid. She got angry and said she thought I'd still want to be involved because we're best friends.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I told her I'd still be at the wedding, but I wasn't going to do all this extra work when she didn't even consider me close enough to be at her bridal party. Now, she and some of our mutual friends are giving me the cold shoulder, saying I'm being petty and making the wedding about me. but I'm not going to be doing bridesmaid level work if I'm not one. Am I the asshole? No.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't think so at all. No, she's going to enlist her as a wedding planner for free. When you're a bridesmaid, some of those things like planning the bachelorette and doing DIY decorations, like that comes with the territory. But also even like for a bride to expect that of a bridesmaid, I'm like, I think that's kind of rude too. Are you having bridesmaids? I am, but very untraditional.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like they're not standing up there with us. I'm not making them do shit. Like they can pick their own dress. I just set a color and I'm so chill. Yeah. Like you, you, you are just like talking before. I just want to get married. I'm like, whatever else happens at this point should be. It is what it is. I thought I wanted a fucking Ferris wheel. I wanted like crazy. I love this for you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Well, until I found out the price of the Ferris wheel. And I was like, I don't want a Ferris wheel. Fuck that. The weddings are a lot, but I feel like she was definitely being taken advantage of. She is. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I love that. What's something you're doing right now that you were a little scared of before you started?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
We talked about this in Austin. We talked about it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Is that the political dinner? Yes. Okay, I saw the TikTok clip and I'm like... How relatable is that? Yes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I am so with you. The point you said, too, where you're like her calling her her best friend. Like, I think that's what's the most confusing part about this for me, even when confronted. And like, hey, I love you, but like, I don't feel like I, you know, I'm not comfortable doing all of this because I'm not a bridesmaid.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And for her to reply back then and say, oh, well, I thought you would because you're my best friend. Yeah. That's confusing because there's clearly no misunderstanding of like, that's my best friend, but I'm not hers. She's saying you're my best friend. Right. But why are you not a part of the wedding? Even like in some way, like, hey, can you be my attendant or hey, can you do this?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it's so odd to me because how many people would you have asked at the time?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I think like if you do have that, still ask the people you want, but then just don't have them up there with you. And that's what kind of we're doing. Like his my fiance's cousin, who's like a sister to him, is like going to be in a dress like that matches my bridesmaids. So she's a bridesmaid. But like we're not having them stand up there. So it doesn't matter if we're mismatched or uneven.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I just like. It's just sad. And I feel sad for her. Yeah. And I don't think not the asshole for backing out. We do have a couple comments and they might provide a little bit more context. So we'll see if it if it changes anything for us. But I'm I'm in the boat of not the asshole. Not an asshole. No.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it's weird that everyone else is like now like cold shouldering her and like other people are getting involved. And it's like, why are you fighting the fight for her? Why don't you just do what I was doing? You know why?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I think if you express that, then it'll come off in a different way. For sure. And I will say, too, we've kind of hinted at it like it's kind of a gift sometimes to not be a bridesmaid. Yeah. Like to be able to just relax, not wake up early to get your hair and makeup done. Not. Yes. Oh, my God. It's just you get to be Zen. Exactly. Have fun. No pressure.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And you can still help the bride as if you want. Yes. You know, be as involved. But like. It's so nice.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Yeah. I was a bridesmaid and my friend got married in Chicago. So I was coming from L.A. Two hour time difference. We had a rehearsal dinner bar crawl like that night. So we didn't go to bed till like two or three. Oh, wow. And then she wanted us in her hotel room at like seven in the morning. And I was tired at a time change. I didn't get my hair and makeup done until 10.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So why did I have to be there three hours early? For emotional support and to sip a mimosa.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No. It's emotional support. Exactly. No. I love you. It's all a part of your duties. I love you, but let's let Morgan sleep a little bit more. And then I'll be more fun overall. But being a bridesmaid is a job. You just said it. It's a job. It's a tough gig. It's a really tough gig. So some comments here. Not the asshole. Your gut is right here, OP.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
These are all of the hallmark tasks of a best friend and bridesmaid. If she's asking for all of this help from you and you alone, I would argue that you should be made of honor. Info. Are her bridesmaids also helping with any of this? I assumed that she was asking you alone, but for clarification, OP responds and goes, Okay. Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Link will be in the description. Otherwise, it's shop.2hottakes.com. Bye. Enjoy the episode. Okay, here we go. Okay, let's go. I'm so excited to have you. I'm happy to be here. I'm a little nervous. I know, I know.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I mean, you'd fit in with relationship advice or am I the asshole? Yeah, you will find your niche if you need it. You're not the asshole. I'm not the asshole. No, you're good. But it is really refreshing to hear, too, that I think getting over that stunk and cost fallacy and hearing firsthand, it's so relatable. So many people are in it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Yeah, and it's like, what is that word? It's like, I think there is something ingrained in us where we do try to fix people a little more, like, as women versus a traditional guy. Like, we give a lot more grace. And it is interesting because I've said a lot of times on this show, like, people aren't psychic.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You can't expect someone to know you're upset or how you're feeling unless you communicate, unless you talk about it. And I think... Women do go to their friends. We do vent. We have those close, close female relationships. So a lot of times we're telling our friends, but we're not necessarily going back to our partner and then being like, hey, you know what? I didn't like this.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And so I think a lot of times that's why you'll see guys who kind of get...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
shocked by a breakup whereas the woman it's like no this was a long time coming I've been emotionally checking out for so long and they're already done with the relationship by the time the breakup actually comes but the guy's like what what did I do like so I think a lot of that is as you said it's like it's they're not talking they're going to their friends instead and I would be interesting if that's happening here but
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Is there follow up? We only have one comment from OP. One comment. And it's someone that said, no, in fact, you were amazing in being able to smile through his dismissive speech.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I guess he thinks you're like the pit crew as he is the dazzling race car driver. I'm not sure what you could do to get him to recognize your contribution, not the asshole. And the only comment we have is this. Yeah, it was honestly really hard to keep it together in that moment. I didn't want to say anything and ruin the night, but it hurt way more than he realizes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, it's hard. It's really hard to just like... hey, I didn't like that. My feelings were hurt because like you don't want to seem silly. You don't want to seem like you're childish for getting your feelings hurt over something so small or I don't know, goofy. Yeah. But like you can communicate that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And then their response is also very, it's very telling. It's very telling. It's everything.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I know. I want so many more details. I want way more tea.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I definitely think he's too comfortable. He doesn't value her. And it's just one of those things where it'll be interesting to see how it plays out. But, I mean, definitely worth a shot telling him how you feel and hopefully shifting his mindset, hopefully getting an apology. When she's not emotional. Like, right? Take a beat. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. Tell them. It's so hard. It's so hard.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. And it's, like, it's so easy to snap, especially when you're overwhelmed or feeling bad. Like, I'm, like, feeling really guilty about it now because I'm, like, we rented, like, a digger from Home Depot this weekend. And we're doing, like, dirt work at our house. And I'm trying to, like, back up, like, our, like, truck in this trailer. And I'm, like, it's not working.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm turning the wheel. It's not going the direction. And, like, my fiance's, like, it's not working. I'm, like, you're not helping me. And I felt so bad in the moment, but he said something years ago when I was like, oh, I just like, I don't like fighting with you. And it was something he said that really shifted my brain. And it's like, it's okay to fight.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, it's actually probably good to fight because if you never fight, you're not growing. You're not... realizing how to communicate with each other when you have problems like fighting isn't necessarily bad yeah and so hopefully that's how you fight it's exactly don't fight mean like be understanding try to see the other person's side wait two things yeah is he an earth sign My boyfriend?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Mm-hmm. Fiance? God, I still do that. He is August 20th, so he's a Leo, but he's not a... He's a Leo Virgo. He's cussed. He's... Well, and he was born early, so he's not really... He doesn't really give Leo. He's Virgo.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
somebody to come I love that I wish I had more of that in me well I do have regrets like DIY on the dirt sure but then we're putting in a fence and you gotta dig down like yeah you do two feet and like level the fence so your fence posts aren't up and down and I've done a fence before we're hitting roots we're like getting stuck in all of these like things and I'm like I did not call before I dug so now I'm like nervous I'm gonna hit a thing but yeah Texas you've put up a fence I my
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Dude, I'm over it. Well, I am too now. I'm over it. We got an auger. I was like, oh, we're going to get our own auger. Yeah. Nope. I'm like, I should have hired this out. What was I thinking? I'm like two days of work. I respect it. Thank you. I'm impressed. I really am impressed. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I've only got five fence posts in after two days, so I'm feeling like I don't have a lot to show for all my hard work, but it'll come together and my horses will thank me eventually. But, yeah, I'm going to need an update on this one, OP, if you're out there. I want to see how he does. Also, is it normal to throw a party for yourself after a promotion? Did he throw it or did they throw it for him?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, this first one, it's coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, titled, My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex for closure. Now he's sure that he wants me. I don't know if I can forgive him. So here's the situation. My boyfriend, 26 male, cheated on me, 23 female, with his ex while we were in a long-distance relationship for four months.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You're down. Let's go. Okay, moving along. Okay. As we know, you're a dog mom.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Would you ever eat out of your dog's bowl? Eat what? Food. Like their food or my food? Your food out of their bowl. Would you ever share a dish? Is it clean? It could have been in the dishwasher, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, if it's clean, why not? Okay. This next one's going to be good for them. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is five days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Wife put my food in the dog bowl. Okay, and shows me my portion. It was in our dog's bowl. I didn't even notice at first, but when I did, I asked, is that the dog's bowl? She said yes and that it had been in the dishwasher. I was taken aback and stood in the kitchen for a bit. She then offered her own bowl of stew to eat, but she had already eaten from it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I feel as though it wouldn't have been hard to quickly wash a bowl that we had as opposed to giving me the one that our dog eats from. He eats his own feces and is a dog. She was upset when I told her I wasn't going to eat it. She locked herself in the bedroom for hours after as well, as if I was the monster for saying I didn't want to eat out of the dog's bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After, she came out and argued that the dishwasher cleans things at 160 degrees Fahrenheit and it would be okay. I not only disagree with that rationale, but have been germ-averse since I was young, and she knows that. Who wants to come home to food in their dog's bowl anyways? We have so many others that we only use once. I was so confused, and then more so when she acted like I was the bad guy.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm only making this post because she said that opinions would likely be split if I did. Who would think that was okay? How am I the asshole for not wanting to eat from a dog's bowl? Okay. He's not the asshole. Not the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
What do you think about the fact that she went and locked herself in a room for a couple hours?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
His ex was someone he was in a very serious four-year relationship with, but they broke up two years ago. When I confronted him, he told me he met her because he never got closure and wanted to resolve past issues. According to him, he did it for us so that he could fully commit to me without regrets or doubts about what his life would have been like with her.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Did you run the load with only the dog bowl in it? Like, are there not other bowls in there? Like, why are you giving me this bowl? Like, what about a mixing bowl? What about any other thing that could hold this stew? Why am I getting the dog's bowl? And I think you're hitting it on the head. It's pointed. There's some hidden message here about why you're eating out of the dog bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I would have a problem with it. Like, I don't know why. And I think it's just like obviously a mental thing. But I wouldn't want to eat out of a dog bowl. I wouldn't want to.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
To be clear, I would not want to. No, I wouldn't either. I'm like, there's little scratches in there. And like, what if there's some bacteria still left in the scratch? There probably is. I'm like, even a cutting board. Sometimes cutting boards are like the grossest thing in your kitchen. Yeah, that's true. I just. That's true. I got food poisoning.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I didn't even know you could get it from carrots. Yeah. I thought I bought this like fancy bag of like heirloom mixed colored carrots and it was in like a bag and they were, I don't know. I thought they were washed. Like they looked so good. I thought they were washed. Yeah. So me and my fiance ate, we ate the same exact thing. That's the only thing I ate that was different.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
One unwashed carrot. I know. It's scary out here. It is. Do you grow your own food?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Have some wine. It'll be good. Teach me a thing or two. Where do you think the opinions on this one are going to fall? The woman's the asshole. We have a lot, a lot of you're the assholes. The woman? Him. How? So someone goes, dude, I just realized she wasn't mad because you didn't want to eat out of the dog's human bowl. She was mad because you were refusing the meal she made entirely.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You refused one dish because you refused to accept that it was properly sanitized. And then you refused the other, her dish, because you won't swap germs with your wife. You're the asshole. Okay. Guys, it was stew.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But while having this deep closure conversation, she kissed him. And they ended up sleeping together. He says he felt horrible afterwards, like he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror because everything he stood for was shattered in that moment. Now, he swears he's 100% sure he wants me and wants to love me more than anything. He's blocked her and says she's dead to him.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Top comment, though, which maybe is the voice of reason. No assholes here. Controversial take, apparently. But the fact she offered to switch shows she wasn't sending you a message or intentionally treating you disgustingly. She just didn't get it. Now she knows. Do I find it odd that she served your food in the dog bowl? Yes. Do I find it odd you didn't switch when she offered? Yes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Will I call either of you an asshole for it? Nope. Just talk it through and move on. I think that she offered to switch because she knew he wouldn't. Oh, my jaw just dropped, you guys. So I'm looking at the comments here. OP? OP's wife. Comments on the post!
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That a girl. That's the energy I like. What did she say? Oh my gosh. OP's wife here. To clarify something hotly debated in the comments, this is a human bowl. Hastily bought because when we moved, I realized we'd left our pet dishes. Last weekend, we were able to bring over a lot more of our stuff, including the original dog bowl, the classic shiny silver kind.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I thought, great, now we have two extra human bowls. I feel like a lot of our dishes are still missing after the move, so I was happy to have these. The dog ate and drank out of it for maybe two weeks, which I get is gross. I washed them both by hand before putting them in the dishwasher. In my mind, this made them clean.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After making the stew, we had one clean bowl in the cabinet and one that had just finished in the dishwasher, the dog bowl. I gave my husband the dog bowl because after dishing out the stew, that bowl had received the largest portion. and he expressed that he was hungry.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After he questioned me about the dog bowl, I realized that yes, he may object to eating out of it, so I offered him the bowl that was in the cabinet. I had eaten one bite. I know he struggles with eating after people, but he has regularly drank or eaten after me, so I thought it would be fine. On our first date seven years ago, he offered me a sip of his beer because it was unique.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Before the move, we lived near a craft brewery and would often swap sips of different beers there. For these reasons, I thought he was okay with eating and drinking after me. She is doing like there's still more, but like the thoughtfulness here. You don't believe her? Don't believe her at all. Oh, now I'm like, he's being dramatic. I think she's manipulative.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Oh, see, when I first read this, I'm like, oh, that's silver, that classic stainless steel silver dog bowl. Like, I wouldn't want to eat out of that, but like,
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, let's see what else. Oh my gosh. She's manipulative. We work roughly the same amount of hours, but I get off work about two hours earlier than him and had spent those two hours making the stew so it was ready the moment he got home. I was hurt he refused to eat it, even after I offered to eat from the dog bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I didn't feel like he approached the conversation very kindly and felt like my efforts were ignored. To address one commenter, no, this is not a fetish thing, lol, I genuinely felt like the bowl was clean and was not trying to insult my husband. Unrelated, but I'm flabbergasted by my husband's claim in the comments that he does dishes 65% of the time. 65 is a really specific number.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I definitely didn't catch that percentage. It was in a comment throughout the post to someone, but OP has since deleted his account. So I can't go look and see if there's any comments from OP because OP felt a little embarrassed, I think, after wifey came in.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And here's the thing. A part of me believes him. I don't think he would ever do it again. But I trusted him with everything. And he still did this, knowing full well what it would do to me. That boundary has been crossed. And no matter how much he regrets it, it can't be undone. The worst part is that I can't stop picturing it. The images just appear in my head, and it physically hurts.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She did post a link for the bowl. See, she's doing too much. It's like one of those bowls that you would get in college, like just a plastic bowl. It literally cost... It looks like a dog bowl. ...50 cents. And it being plastic... I'm back on the boat of, like, it's gross, even though it is a human bowl, because it's like a plastic cutting board.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, you cut and you create these scratches and these knife marks and whatever, and bacteria can live in there. Like, this is a dog. Dogs' mouths are really dirty. That's why, like, if you get a dog bite...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It grosses me out when people let their dogs just lick them in the mouth. So I'm back on, like, it is gross. I wouldn't want to eat out of that bowl. But then again, I'm like, but she did offer to switch. So maybe she's being a little manipulative. Maybe she's gaslighting, but... I feel like he should have taken her bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, if you're worried about, like, stew and backwash into the stew, why are you sharing beers? But, like, you're married. Y'all don't make out?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Well, now they're fighting in the comments and it's like, he doesn't do the dishes 65% of the time. It's like, Take a step back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They got to be bored. But people are really upset for her. People are like now coming to her defense. There is so many comments under under her response. People are like, you seem like a nice person and there are plenty of fish in the sea. I'll leave it at that. And guess what? That is exactly what she wanted.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You might have a good read on this. I'm very torn. But we did have a story years ago now. And it was this mom writing in being like, am I the asshole for getting my kids Nintendos? And she wrote this sob story about how she got these kids Nintendos and they didn't care. And she called them spoiled brats and stormed out and left crying.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Meanwhile, her daughter found the post, wrote in, and the daughter was like, She left us when we were little. She's super manipulative. She's a liar, narcissist, like all this like truth. And it was like, so she wrote the story making herself look like the victim. So maybe, maybe this is that. Maybe this is her. She's back. Full circle moment. She's back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I want to trust him again. I want to believe that we can heal from this. But my friends keep telling me that if I stay... I'll lose all my self-respect. And the truth is, I've struggled with low self-esteem and low self-love in the past. Ironically, my boyfriend has always encouraged me to love myself, to put myself first, to prioritize my friends and family. He's been the one pushing me to grow.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This is going to be one we're going to have to put to the people. All right. I'm in the boat of not the asshole for not wanting to eat out of the dog bowl. That he's not the asshole. He's not the asshole. No, I agree. He's not the asshole. I don't know where I fall on her, though. She is. She is. So I don't know. How am I going to phrase this poll, you guys?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, do you think she's doing it intentionally? I guess, do you believe her comment? Yeah, do you believe her? Do you believe her comment? Or like, did he kind of come with more truth in this? It's interesting. It's an odd couple. You want to talk about odd? We're going to talk about Odd. This next one. Okay, I'm ready for this. I'm ready. This next one is Odd. Okay. Oh my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't know what is wrong with people. I think a lot of people lately have like bonked their heads.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I had to like make sure I give you the good stuff. Titled, am I the asshole for refusing to let my neighbor use my vintage bathtub for his therapy session?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I, 28 female, live in an old Victorian house that I inherited from my grandfather. One of the features of the house is the original clawfoot bathtub from the 1920s in the upstairs bathroom. I was originally going to look at having it removed, but kept putting it off and eventually I fell in love with it, so I kept it. Enter my next door neighbor, Dennis, about 50 male.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Dennis is dot dot dot eccentric. He's into all these weird health trends like grounding his feet in buckets of dirt for electrical balance. Lately, he's gotten into hydrotherapy, which apparently requires him to soak in cold water for extended periods to reset his nervous system.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Two weeks ago, Dennis came over and, completely out of the blue, asked if he could use my bathtub for his hydrotherapy sessions. I thought he was joking, but no. He earnestly explained that my bathtub was, quote, the perfect energy conduit because it was pre-industrial revolution and untainted by modern manufacturing processes. Question mark, question mark, question mark.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I told him no, obviously. I don't want a rando, wrinkly old dude filling it with ice water and doing whatever nonsense he's into. Dennis did not take this well. He said I was being selfish with community resources and that because I inherited the house rather than buying it, I had a duty to share since I didn't work for it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
He started bringing it up every time he saw me, passive-aggressively, saying things like, "'Must be nice to hoard that all to yourself.'" Then, somehow, this got out to the neighborhood Facebook group, who loves drama. And now, half the street thinks I'm the villain for gatekeeping my own bathtub.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I feel like if I leave, I'm not only going to lose him, but I'll have to figure out how to rebuild myself alone. What would you do if you were me?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
The cherry on top is Dennis conveniently claims that his shower stopped working too, so he doesn't have a place to even clean himself. Not like this was a favorite pastime of his to begin with, respectfully. I was trying to just avoid Dennis as much as I could and ignore the few comments from my neighbors until I ran into one of my neighbors while I was going for a walk Saturday evening.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't really know her, but we chatted briefly and somehow the issue came up. I was expecting some sympathy for the absurdity of this all. But this woman proceeds to tear into me like literal verbal assault. And by the end of it, asking me why I was being so stupid and selfish that I have multiple bathrooms in the house and couldn't even spare it to help this old man's health.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This morning, I found a literal gift-wrapped bar of soap in my mailbox. There was no note or anything, but I assumed this was her and an insanely passive-aggressive petty way of telling me to shove it. I do not want this man soaking in my tub. I do not care about his nervous system reset.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But now, I feel like I'm losing my mind because everyone around me is acting like I'm some sort of selfish monster. I get that some of the people in my neighborhood aren't keen on me living here, but I live by myself and work and go to school all day, and I'm genuinely starting to worry that I'm going to come home someday to find Dennis reclining in my tub. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They wouldn't know. I wonder if maybe he was friends with the uncle. Like maybe. And maybe knew that way. But no, not the asshole. The fact that the neighborhood is getting involved. The fact that Dennis posted this on the Facebook page. Like my neighborhood has a Facebook page, too. And there is a lot of drama on there.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But to post such a weird personal problem you have with someone on a group neighborhood Facebook page, he does sound unhinged. Yes. He sounds like he's... Seriously bored, if not deeply troubled. And no, I would not want someone coming in my home, learning the ins and outs, getting naked. I'm like, what's he going to do in there? Exactly. I could see it being a fetish.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, there's been weirder things. I'm just perplexed by this. And honestly... I was like, okay, let me see. Let me see what I have on Facebook Marketplace. This is like the only reason I have Facebook these days is like to see Marketplace. Dennis could go on Facebook and get a clawfoot tub for as little as free. Why doesn't he put it in his backyard?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
There you go. Like these are free. People are giving these things away because they're heavy and they want them removed from their home. And I know like people are going to be like, OK, well, Dennis shouldn't have to buy something. Whatever. I don't care what Dennis has to do. He can go to a gym. He can go to a health spa that has cold plunges and saunas. Saunas.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
He can do anything else, but he's not entitled to this person's bathtub.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like you feel like your takes might be a little too hot. Maybe. Maybe. I could see that. Because the theme I have for you today is like getting into the tea. Like give me that piping hot tea.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just like, I'm so blown. It's like, there's so many things too where it's like, okay, you were hungry. Cool. It took you over an hour. Like there was so much time before surgery prep and like actually going under the knife and like, okay. But he wasn't even answering his phone. Why aren't you answering your phone? Oh, I didn't even catch that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So much so like, what if something did go wrong and the nurse was calling you to be like, Hey, she had a bad reaction to anesthesia and didn't make it. Right. Oh, yeah. God, I guess that burger was more important than my wife. It's such a bad lie.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, get through the cancer and, like, who knows if he's even going to stay with her through that. Like, if you look at stats, the stats don't lie. If you look at heterosexual relationships and women get sick, men are more likely to leave than if the man got sick and the woman stayed to care for that person. Yeah. It's just the stats.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So hopefully she has a supportive partner through this, but no, not the asshole. I wouldn't take the roses. He needs to go back to the gutter he crawled out of, like pond scum energy here. Insane. The fact that he wasn't there to hold her hand and when she woke up, which, okay, now it's a two-hour window after that surgery.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
My fiance is going to come with me when I get my chin lipo, and he's going to hold my hand every step of the freaking way. Like, this is something that's just like, this is breast cancer. This is such a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that would bring me back. 100%. And I think a lot of times, like, I think that is a message to people. Never be scared to be vulnerable with your person. They're married. You are in it. Whether it's boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, like, be vulnerable. Sometimes it is so much better to just fall on your sword and say that I handled this poorly. I don't know how to handle this.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm scared. I'm so sorry. Like, that is human. We're all human. We're all going to fuck up. But own it then. Yeah. Don't be like, oh, I was hungry. I had a burger and a beer. That's not what I want to hear. Like, be vulnerable. Talk.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's some weird twisted way of like self-preservation. It's scarier to be vulnerable than to just like be in trouble or have someone mad at you. Like it's, I don't know, some psychological stuff we're going to have to unpack in therapy.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That's a good little comeback. Yeah. Every petal. Clean the house. Take care of the kids. That's right. I like that. Where do you think the comments went on this one?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Top comment. Not the asshole. Not being there for you is already bad, but not even bothering to answer his phone while he knows you're going into surgery is beyond disrespectful. Next comment down. Not the asshole. He was having a burger throughout the whole time. Really? That's the most awful lie I've ever heard. His story doesn't add up. No, it doesn't. Wow. Ooh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just keep going back to she's so young I know there's so much place I can like I can remember being that age like I'm 31 now and it's like I remember when I was in college dating who I thought I would marry and all of a sudden I'm getting broken up with and he's got another girlfriend in Canada that he's had the whole time and like I remember just being like That's my person. What the fuck?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Apparently there's a comment from OP that suggested he might've been using some Coke as opposed to an affair. So just as bad.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's still a long time to be gone. Exactly. Maybe he needed to let the buzz fade a little bit.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't like it. I don't like it at all. But I did like having you on today. I did too. I enjoyed myself so much. Oh, Rachel, this was so good. You have so many amazing things going on right now. You have two podcasts. Yes. Where can people find you? How can they listen to the shows that you have?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This is so fun. My pleasure. Pleasure is all mine. I hope I didn't offend anyone. No. Hey, it's just a difference of opinions. There we go. It's not what we're saying. It's not fact. It's not end all be all. It's just an opinion. Just an opinion. Just an opinion. Just a hot take. Just a mildly lukewarm, mildly tempered take. It's fun. But thank you so much. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That's all I got for you guys. We have merch on sale. There's more on Patreon this month. But other than that, until next time, bye.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
My mom was giving me terrible advice. My mom was like, why don't you get on a plane to go to Canada and see if you can fix it? And I'm like, why do I have to fix it? He fucked up, but I do remember just feeling like, Well, fuck, like it's over. Like the world is ending. Like it feels so big, so heavy. Yeah. And there's you don't really see a way forward.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I think you are well qualified and I'm so excited to have you, which... Let me introduce my guest formally for you guys. Hi, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And today I have the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, so fucking smart. I'm like, I'm blown away by you. I really am. But this is Rachel Lindsay. Hi, guys. Happy to be here.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But the thing is, like, I also think at at 23, I didn't really know who I was. Right. She's saying, like, he's pushing me to to be strong and he's pushing me to prioritize friends and all this stuff. Like, I don't want to build myself alone. But you really don't need him. Like you can do it alone and not necessarily alone either because you have friends, you have family.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You're going to have all these other experiences that will build you over time. But like I feel like I finally even now at 31, I'm like, OK, I mostly feel like I know who I am. But there's still parts where I'm like, oh, I'm a little too big of a people pleaser. Like, I got to work on that. Like, we never truly stop working on ourselves and growing.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And if you do stop, then like, in my opinion, that's kind of a problem. Yeah. Yeah. So don't be scared of that. For sure.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I'd love to know which part he found closure. Yeah. Like, you had to fuck someone one last time to, like, okay, yeah, I do like my girlfriend. Yeah. It's interesting, and, like, I get having a conversation, but the minute she leaned in and kissed you, like, you should have got up and left. It didn't need to turn into sex, though. Yeah. And that's... I'm not about it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Hopefully live up to that intro. No, I... Well, we met in South... Like, for South By a couple weeks ago. And I had, like, known of you because of The Bachelor and Bachelorette. I mean, first black woman to be The Bachelorette is iconic. And so I knew of you, but I didn't really know your background and, like... how accomplished you were and are.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, no. Top comment on this one. Give him closure from your potential relationship. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, uh-uh. We have no comments on this one, no updates. So we'll have to see if they hear this and let us know what happened.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, this next one. Also coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, five days old, titled, Am I wrong for finding the comments some people have made about my engagement ring insulting? So I just recently got engaged on Valentine's Day this year. I was so happy about it and absolutely loved the ring my fiance had custom made for me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
For a little backstory, I was born in October and I've always loved opals. In my opinion, I think they are more beautiful than diamonds because each one is very unique, especially if they aren't lab-grown. My fiancé knows this and handpicked the most beautiful opal stone for my ring, then had someone custom make the setting and band for it based on what he thought suited me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Since getting my ring, I have made posts about it on social media. After showing it to some of my work colleagues, friends, and family members, some have made comments that just don't sit right with me. They would say, quote, I wasn't sure about it, but seeing it in person makes it look a lot better or something similar.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Now, I know some people might not like how untraditional my ring is, but I know that even if I didn't personally like someone's engagement ring, I wouldn't tell them that. I'd just say it fits their personality or something like that. Am I wrong for feeling upset?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Why did he even want a kid? I know that crossed my mind, too. It was like it doesn't seem like he wants a family. It seems like he just wants his career. Also, here's the thing.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I don't need it. Our friends will understand if we're not quite so generous at the baby showers and the weddings and the et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Three grand? Like, what does that mean? How generous are you? Like, that's insane to me.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
They're not living in an 850 square foot house with two kids and two dogs making it work.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Have all the flippity flops you want.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Absolutely. Then he would really learn what it would take and she'd have a lot more time to do her business. Then actually what would happen is he'd really have to pay for a nanny.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Well, probably boils down to if his firm held belief is that he is the most important person in the family and it's not his role or his job to do any sort of nurturing, then that is just not on par whatsoever. With what she wants specifically, it seems. Yeah. So, yeah, if she doesn't want to be a trad wife, then you shouldn't force anyone to be a trad wife. Right.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs, I think, that you can sign yourself up for. Uh, so I've got a lot of respect for stay at home moms. If that's what you want to do. Fabulous. Right. But also like a stay at home mom that doesn't want to be a stay at home mom is not going to be a great stay at home mom. Right. Because it's not what you want for yourself. No, you can.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah. She needs to be able to follow her passions and do her consulting business. And maybe if he's not going to change his underlying core beliefs. Yeah. Give him the D. Yeah, we'll see.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
They're still working on it. They're still coming up with that new agreement.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She's being gaslit. Also, look at this cute little shirt. Look at this cute little human being. You look absolutely amazing.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
It is not in your head. You are being gaslit. I wouldn't even call it really cropped, though, either.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Uh-huh. I found nothing funny there.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah, I cannot believe that. The entire thing, it's criticisms. It's not supportive. It's not funny in the least, even if he thinks it's funny. And she's not being too sensitive. It's just hurtful. And so, yeah, you have a right to feel hurt by your partner calling you out like that.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
It's a lot of fun. Yeah, we've been doing it almost a year now, I think. And so, yeah, we talk about all sorts of different things. Kids, relationships, friendships.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Ew. Ew. Drop them. Drop them fast.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
But it's not. And she replied. She said it's just she was like, hey, I like this style. She said he gave me a swarmy smile and said, eh, still a little small.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Traveling. 46 weeks. Yeah, 46 episodes. Yeah. So, yeah, come join us. Check us out.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Biology degree for the win. Yeah. Somewhere buried deep down in there.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
See, that makes it really, really hard. And if you don't have the financial means to move out and get your own place and to go through that legal process to fight for your kids, then you may feel stuck in a situation like this.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Sometimes we need that support system. It really does take a village.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Oh, I forgot this was your subreddit. Oh, that's so good. Yay, you guys all helped her know her worth and her value so that she can leave a bad situation and go find someone who's going to be like, girlfriend, that shirt looks amazing on you. Love it. Absolutely. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I don't think she's the asshole, but I think that she's fishing for validation that her opinion that her daughter being fascinated with pregnancy and babies is kind of weird and not something to be.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
kind of even tolerated or certainly not encouraged when I think that that's the non-issue whether you think that it's a really cute thing which I kind of think it's pretty cute that she is so like oh you know pregnancy and babies, you know, it's all about like families and creating a family. And like at that stage, it's not about the process of becoming pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
That's like it's that's developmentally. That's not what this kiddo is thinking about.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
It's she's thinking about, oh, my baby brother. Oh, my friend's little baby brother. I like rocking the baby. You know, it's nurturing and like i think that it's probably founded in that and very wholesome and not really founded in something that is creepy or weird regardless i am baffled right now regardless Regardless, mom doesn't think that it's appropriate.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And perhaps doing like a realistic baby belly might be taking a little bit too far. I think, you know, pillows underneath the shirt or whatever, stuffed animals or even shoving a baby doll up underneath your shirt and being like, mom, I'm pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
that's play that's play it's imaginative it's normal i think that that's that's fine so but i could absolutely see how a little six-year-old who enjoys that kind of play would be super pumped to be like i get a realistic belly to wear cool i could see how she would be into that yeah but if the mom is uncomfortable with the gift And she has voiced that to the mother-in-law.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And that's the bottom line. The bottom line is that you, as a mother-in-law, it's your job to be like, okay, this is your child. Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to do a nice thing because this was her interest. If you're uncomfortable with it, I'll return it. Sure. So I don't think she's the asshole. I don't think you're the asshole. But...
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
But I also just in my personal like I wouldn't freak out about her daughter being so I think that she's probably going to be a great nurturer someday. All right, Matt, you think she's the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And you could also make the rule, okay, this is only for playing at home. You don't have to, you know.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I mean, here are the bellies sold on Amazon.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Like at six, they don't have that full understanding of how it happens. They're not at least my kids are not even really asking, how does it happen? They just know that it happens. And and in their little brains and their developmental milestones.
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214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
era they're like oh you have a family and mommies have babies and once you have the baby you know you get to cuddle the baby you know they're not thinking of how the baby really gets there and maybe they could abstractly be like well how does the baby get there and you can be like well
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Mommies and daddies really love each other and they decide to have a baby and then mommies carry the baby in their tummy. And, you know, you can be very broad like that. And that's a level of understanding. My guess is like I'm guessing that this mom is not explaining the birds and the bees for her six year old. This is her aversion to pregnant her pretending she's pregnant. Right.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She's definitely not. exposing her child to inappropriate content.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She probably would have been fabulous at it, right? And some kids are just very much into that nurturing. I have my niece who 100% is not. I love her. She is so wonderful. She has so many other strengths and interests and whatever. But when the kids were younger – she lives right down the road – And I asked Caitlin, Caitlin, will you please come over and help me watch the kids? I will pay you.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I will pay you like whatever you want, because I was basically losing my mind with, you know, baby and toddler. I'm like, please just play with them and entertain them while I clean the house. And she's like, no, thanks. I'm not interested. I don't want to hang out with kids whatsoever. If Eloise had that same question, she's like, I would do it for free. My gosh. She loves it.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She loves babies and every kid is so different.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
You're thinking basically a pillow with overall straps is what you were thinking it was. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
For me, that's taking it a bit too far. But overall, I agree with her comment.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I think the key to her comment, though, is age appropriate. You can describe it and talk about it in an age appropriate way. And as long as you're doing that, I think you've got your bases covered. But yeah, if you feel uncomfortable with the toy, it's your prerogative to ask the mother-in-law to return it. Or if it's going to your house, you can just kindly take it and it can disappear.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
It needs to be like, no, absolutely not. We can have three options. Yes, as long as it's Matt's version, a pillow with overall straps. Yes, if it's realistic, it's fine. Kids are just pretending or whatever. We'll put all the options up. There you go.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah. But that one had boobs in that.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Whoa, buddy. Do you remember that scene? Yes. Before she could go out, he made her wear the pregnancy suit to remind her to not get pregnant. She had to wear that out on dates? No, no, no, no, no.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
When she's hanging out with family. Here's what you get.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Why would you discourage her? Yeah. Or why would you have the photo shoot?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Boudoir. Boudoir. Now you're French.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah, maybe all the comments that you made for, like, up until this point.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
This just doesn't make sense. Like, he's making... Okay. He's making $50,000 a month and because she is having a nanny and focusing on building a consulting business and taking care of the baby and doing all the nights, she's the one that is, did it say forcing them into financial ruin? Financial crisis. Crisis? You're putting the family in financial crisis. That does not add up.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
That's exactly what she heard. Oh, tone up a bit before you're valuable enough to take these photos, before you're worthy enough for these photos.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
One pair of jeans right there. Or consider that she has probably spent hours and hours researching this one photographer's website, right? She has seen probably... many, many different kinds of women in many, many different body shapes. And she's recognized that these women who have different body shapes in these boudoir photos are magic, and they're beautiful.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And that probably surprises her because the real people taking these boudoir photos, and she probably has recognized herself in some of these other people, which has given her the courage to book this session or to think about booking this session because she... thinks that it's probably going to be empowering for her. Because that's... We have a local boudoir photographer who... A couple of them.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
A couple of them. And I have joined their Facebook pages and followed them because they're very much about women empowerment and self-esteem and beauty and finding the beauty just in each other. And they're a big proponent of, you know... finding the beauty in each person.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
This guy missed his opportunity. Can you just imagine if she came to him and I'm guessing she was a little bit vulnerable and being like, oh my gosh, I'm thinking about doing this. What do you think? Can you imagine if he would have taken a pause and been like, oh my goodness, I'm I would love for you to do this. I can't wait to see your pictures. You are going to look so beautiful.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I want you to go and spoil yourself and actually, you know, why don't you take a little extra money? And on that day, maybe you get a pedicure beforehand, you know?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Can you imagine that situation if that had gone down? How different your relationship would have been with her following that? Yeah. You missed a real good opportunity. You blew it.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
There is no way that that adds up. No, this was a bait and switch.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
You also don't have to share your photos online. You could just have it very private with the photographer and be like, okay, my photos are only mine. This is a closed studio.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Right. So it can be just for you. I've known women who do these boudoir sessions literally just for themselves, not for their partner, but for themselves to feel good, to feel empowered, to feel beautiful and to remind themselves that they are worthy.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Are you kidding me? So not overweight. Also, it doesn't matter. Like, we didn't even need to know those stats. But are you kidding me? Something's wrong with him.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Oh, he's still just not open to any sort of feedback. Why post on Reddit?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I'm dumbfounded right now. I'm dumbfounded at how many times he doubled down and tripled down and quadrupled down and still doesn't get it and has zero room for any sort of introspection. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Don't do it. At least not unless you have a licensed counselor sitting between you.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah, probably did. You probably did. I mean, the damage was done. I don't think that there was anything saving it. You missed your opportunity. It could have been really, really great for her. And I feel really sad for her.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And celebrated her post-baby body, which babies change your body. That's just how it is. Like, her body is not going to be the same.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Because she did this miraculous thing and gave birth to this beautiful baby. Yeah. Yeah. Craziness, craziness, but moving, moving along.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I'm trying to think of an explanation for this as well, because they had that agreement from the get go. And it seemed like he was on board. What changed? Why the change? Right.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yes, you absolutely are the asshole for abandoning your wife in the moment that she found out that she has a cancer that could kill her. And I don't know if the medical team was not forthright and did not educate you on the severity of ovarian cancer, but you first and foremost, beyond any sort of
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
honestly beyond any sort of grieving for any future family that you could have had like you're allowed to have those feelings but have those feelings later your your priority should have been your wife and your wife receiving the news that her life her living her being with you and married in order to you know let's not even talk about a family was in jeopardy at that moment and you abandoned her literally raced out smacked her hand away and went to a hotel
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And like in some of the wording, like I almost got the feeling like he's blaming her for having cancer. I know. And it's about him and his view for his life and his. And OK, you know, I understand that you can have some of those feelings and grieve the loss of a future that you may have had later. Yeah, this is not the time. Not the time. Not the time.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
You need to put any sort of self selfish, self-serving emotions on the back burner so that you can care for your partner. I can't believe you abandoned her. Yes, you're absolutely the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And speaking to your point about like being at a control thing, I've known relationships where if the partner is not working or not working as much and the other partner is making a lot more that they withhold things and they you know, use that financial control and financial abuse in order to keep that person in the relationship. I haven't necessarily seen that with... Right.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Biological kids, right? And it might not be possible given ovarian cancer because of the hormones that they need to give you in order to like stimulate your ovaries to produce eggs and follicles. And so that might not have been an option either. You know, like sometimes with, for example, testicular cancer, what if you dude got testicular cancer? Are you going to...
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
feel the same way about yourself, right? Like, put the shoe on the other foot. What would you want your wife to do in that situation? However, a lot of times they preserve sperm in order to, you know, have fertility later on after chemo treatments. I started holding Amy's hand because she keeps slamming it on the table. I'm like, stop. Oh, sorry.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I thought you were just like, you're going on a tangent.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I haven't necessarily seen that with, like, I guess I don't have that many stay-at-home mom friends because I guess, I mean, it takes a lot of two-parent incomes to afford anything these days. So...
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I don't think there's any going back.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Why don't you take this one first?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
We've just been married for 10 years and together for 20 years, and he knows what kind of veggies I like. And if he gets it wrong, that's fine, too.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I had to make sure the two hooligan kids were not creating a mess in the gas station.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I have two thoughts. Okay. First thought is, is it the scenario? I need a little more information. Is it the scenario where she just really has never learned how to cook and she's trying her best, but perhaps he's being hypercritical of the result of her cooking and Is that the situation? And has he ever? It sounds like he has, but has he ever really taken the time?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
OK, let me teach you how to make this meal. Let me teach you how to make this meal. Let me teach you how to make this meal. OK, you're set for three meals. You got this. You can take it and you can run. All right. Here's the thing. Or wait, I'm not done. Or is this a case of weaponizing competence? Thank you. Where she just doesn't want to cook.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And if she like intentionally sabotages it and makes her cooking just miserable every time that he is just going to want to be like, just let me do it. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Which is not really his responsibility. He could also be like, hey, honey, I'm going to eat whatever you make.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
It's okay. Since babies came along. No, you would cook for like when we have people over to our house before we had babies. And since babies came along, mama is the number one person who is cooking all of the meals. And it's rare for you to cook.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
But perhaps you want to support your sister doing a very beautiful family's fighting. Here we go.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
But we all made it, so that was good. I agree with you. I understand how at first glance and at first feeling like your knee jerk reaction might be like, oh, that's different. That's
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She needs somebody with her, someone that she knows and trusts. And actually, I think the reason that the friend gives to argue that he shouldn't be there, her being vulnerable, is the entire reason that he should be there. He clearly is such a trusted, respected person that she is open to being vulnerable around him and trusts him to take care of her and to
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
advocate for her during this scary, beautiful time of her life. So really what I would say is it doesn't matter what she thinks, the friend thinks. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. If you are okay with it and you are your sister's support person and that's what she wanted, that's the most important thing.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Influenced it. Not great. That's an interesting piece of history that I did not know.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Pay for a house when you don't make $50,000 a month. Yeah, that's insane. Here's the here's also the thing that I was thinking about. The only reason that they were like, you should stay home. It's because of and not have this nanny basically is because of financial reasons. It wasn't any like in the it's in the best interest of the child or it's in the best interest of you.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I honestly think that only she can answer that question for herself. Because I think that she needs to make that decision of exactly what she said. Nope, this is her name. I'm not going to associate it with him and this act and this affair. And it's going to be an empowering thing because it was my name to begin with. What are the chances? That is a possibility.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Now, if it's me, I would not be able to do that. I wouldn't be able to either. And knowing myself, I would be thinking about that, at least surrounding her birth, at least surrounding her infancy for I don't know how long. So I think you got to know yourself and see what kind of person are you. Because I've got some friends who are some badass bitches and who are like, nope, that is my name.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And they would. Sarah. They would do it out of spite. Sarah would be like, nope, no matter what happened, that's my name and she should change her name. Honestly, is how it would be in her brain, right? Yeah. So that's her brain. So she could do that. She could get past it. I could not get past that.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
So for me, I would need to go back to the books and I need to soul search and find something that maybe within this situation is even more beautiful, more perfect. I'd be the same way.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
But here's also the beauty of the whole thing is that if you do choose to go with this name or any other name and maybe three months. Well, the kid needs a name. Well, yeah. No. You pick a name. You go with the name. Three or six months down the road. That's a bad joke. Okay. I missed it. Over my head. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Well, anyway, three or six months, however long down the road, you say, I made a bad call. You can change it. You can absolutely change it. Nightmare paperwork. Does everybody know Jen Hamilton? I follow her on TikTok. The nurse? The nurse. Oh, I love her. I know. I love her, too. I think everyone loves her, right? She's so cute. There's not a person on this planet who probably doesn't.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
You know, you're working too hard. You're doing the nights. You need more rest or blah, blah, blah. It's it was not like in anyone's personal best interest. It was. Oh, it's about the money. Like, that was the only reason that they gave for her to stay home, right?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Anyway, so she changed her baby's name. Did she?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I don't remember. Forgive me for interrupting. Changed her baby's name.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I don't remember at what point, but maybe before the year mark, they had a beautiful name picked out for this kid, and it just did not end up matching this kid's personality. I feel like I saw a video on this.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And so they changed it. So that's a possibility. So it's not set in stone. So if you pick the wrong thing, it's okay. Adults change their name all the time.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah. How does that work on a birth certificate?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah, so that's... Okay, your turn.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
So, Eloise, one of my besties... Matt and I had picked out the name for Eloise and we love her name. And but we hadn't told anybody. Right. Like we kept it a secret until the baby's born. Yeah. And meanwhile, while I'm pregnant, one of my very good friends comes and is like, meet our puppy Eloise. And she's like one of my best friends. And I was like, I love that name. It's so good.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And you still went with Eloise. So then I turned to Matt after that. I was like, can we still name our kid Eloise?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Yeah, fish, they don't live that long, I don't think. They call the dog Ellie, so it all works out. There you go.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She could claim that even if she's completely wrong.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
She'd spread that rumor around like wildfire.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Okay, listen, guys. Even if you're a badass bitch and you could still, like, get over it, you probably should just go back to the drawing board. Pick a new name.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I think she's made her decision. I think so too. I think she's going to leave him. She's going to pick a new name. They're going to go live happily ever after. And he is going to not. I do. Because he made his bed. He's now got a lie in it.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
come up with a new name yeah situation sucks i feel bad terrible for her she doesn't deserve it she's worth more than that uh and hit her not like him not getting enough attention is never an excuse no um it's not valid no so we have a roller coaster of emotions today roller coaster yeah
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
Drain your savings account. Is that what it is?
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
And here's what I love about that. I think you did fine, Matt. You know, you're open to hearing other points of view. And then you're also open to reconsidering and changing your stance.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
That's one of the things that I love about you. Yeah, you're very fluid.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
I want to know what else their relationship is like. Like, how is everything before baby? What else has changed since baby came along? Like, is he feeling neglected or, you know, that he wants her to be home so she pays more attention? Like, there's just something more. There's more of a reason.
Two Hot Takes
214: The Families are Fighting! Ft. Midwest Married
That mother-in-law will never be on your side. Ever. It doesn't matter what you do. She will never, ever be on OP's side.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So, and Austin's like, no, no, no, it's because I went to Craig and I gave him some criticism and he's not able to handle that criticism whatsoever.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You want to name the fish, Austin?
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I mean, waiting a few years to have a kid. OK, but like the crazy thing is like if I wait like more than that, because like a few years can turn into like more than that, because like years keep going.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Meanwhile, Taylor was questioning Sally's past actions, and Sally was ready to move towards a friendlier future.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And then Sally decided to flip the script on Tyler.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And Craig's like, I asked you to stay out of people's business unless it concerns you. And you promised me that you could do.
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#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's like, deuces, I'm out of here. That's it, JT, and all the important boys are leaving with me.