Morgan
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. I mean, he wanted to know why I was wearing the ring. And so I told him the story. But I mean, I don't have feelings for my ex.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I mean, I'm not flaunting it. I'm just not taking it off.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Exactly. I'm going to wear it because it's my ring. He gave it to me and I want to use it. I'm not wearing it on the other finger. I'm not engaged to anybody.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah, I mean... It's Kent's up for it. I really like you, Kent.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I mean, she's showing up again with the ring, so. It's my ring, and I'll wear it where I want. I mean.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
You're off the scale? I wouldn't go that far, you guys. I'm probably like a 10.5. Oh, wow.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
No, no. I mean, that's not it. I mean, some stuff happened during the day, but... We met online. Look, I was like almost done with these apps because I've been on some really horrible dates. And like the last day with this guy, he actually asked me if I could donate my kidney to his uncle.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Exactly. I was like, can we just wait till we date for a month and then maybe, you know.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. And then Ken reached out to me and he like gave me the cheesiest line. Is there an airport nearby? Because my heart is taking off.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I wanted to mess with him. So I was like, oh, well, thanks a lot. My dad was a pilot and he actually crashed.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I know, but I was like, I wanted to mess with him because I thought it was like such a cheesy line. I was like, oh, come on. And he was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was like, no, I'm just kidding.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. And so like we were just laughing and and then he asked me out for drinks. What happened is that I decided to change my hairdo right before going on this date. That's the catfish part, right?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Yeah. It was a pretty dramatic change.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
yes kind of i mean i went from blonde to back to brunette which is my natural color and i actually went short hair that's a dramatic change yeah so was he able to recognize you did you give him a heads up no so he comes in and he doesn't even see me and i like i had to wave at him i was like hey i'm here and his reaction was like well, I didn't even recognize you. Like kind of like.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I think he was just really surprised, so no, it didn't come up as a compliment. Oh, okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I did. So we sat down and we started talking and things got back on track. And actually we found out the silly hobby that we have in common. We actually love karaoke, both of us.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Jeffrey loves karaoke. I love it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
We both apparently love to go a lot. And so anyways, we bonded and about that. And then at some point, the other thing that happened that was a little odd is that I have a ring on my finger and he actually noticed that. And it's not a wedding ring or anything, but it is an old promise ring from one of my first boyfriends.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I love the ring and I wear it on the other finger. It's not like I'm wearing it as in I'm engaged or anything.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
It does look a little bit like an engagement ring. Yes. Yes.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
and so i told him i said hey i just really love this ring it's from an old boyfriend has nothing i mean i don't even have any contact with this person and so it's just like just really like it and so he i'm not even sure if he was even weirded out about that well it's strange that you even brought it up because he may have not even noticed it i mean if it's not on that finger dude i don't know right i know a lot of guys that don't forget to look yeah it's like dude is she married i'm like i don't know it's like oh i didn't look at her
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
And then it just hasn't been like that at all. So I reach out a couple times, and, you know, his answers are kind of short and just not the same kind of back and forth that we had before.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
You guys, I don't call those riffraffs. I call them having a sense of humor. Ah.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
I'm just a bad girl.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
Well, I think you're putting too much... weight on this ring thing. I mean, I kept the ring because I liked the ring and I wore that ring for a really long time. And I'm not going to take it off for taking a picture for Instagram.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Brunette Has A Nice Ring To It
No, I mean, he wasn't a nice person to me, especially when the relationship ended. So, yeah, I mean, I want to make sure that he can see through my pictures that I'm still wearing the ring.
Criminal
Five Stars
Yeah. Hey, it's Morgan in Little Rock. Wanted to ask for the last episode, not to be material, but what is the most, what is your most prized possession or really like the most sentimental thing that you own that you just can't ever get rid of? Okay, cool. Thanks.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
Hey, Money Rehabbers. It's Morgan, the producer of the show. And today is the last day of Peter Tuchman's week of guest hosting Money Rehab. Peter Tuchman is a broker on the New York Stock Exchange. He is also a host of one of Eminem's podcasts called Trade Like Einstein. He's a really sharp thinker.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
thinker in this space and he also has more energy than anyone i've ever met so if you don't subscribe to his show please check it out he's really wonderful in today's episode peter starts by doing what he's done every day this week which is giving a breakdown of what happened in the financial markets today he has a really special point of view because he is there in the heart of it on the floor of the new york stock exchange
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
So he explains what's moving and shaking in the market today and why he thinks a Santa Claus rally is about to happen, which is a typical sort of upswing in the market that we see around this time of year historically.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
And then in the second part of his conversation, instead of hearing one of his favorite interviews from the year, you're actually going to hear an interview that he taped today with Dan Ives. Dan is a managing director and senior equity research analyst at Wedbush. And he is one of the most sought after analysts and specialists on tech. He really has his finger on the pulse in this space.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
Fed Predictions & Tech Expert Dan Ives on Bitcoin and Bull Markets
I pay very close attention when he talks. And Peter and Dan just have a really fun dynamic. They tape together a lot for Peter's show. So if you love that, definitely subscribe. And then next week, I will be guest hosting the show. I'm really excited. I'll tell you more about that on Monday. But for now, here's Peter.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Next week, you're going to hear Nicole's favorite episodes of Help Wanted, the podcast that she co-hosts with Jason Pfeiffer, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
All right, this next one, I'm gonna start with you, Nicole, because I know this is a topic, Nicole, that you are very passionate about, which is small talk. On Zoom, it's particularly terrible. There's always those first couple of minutes in a Zoom meeting where there's like fumbly small talk where someone asks like, where in the world are you based? Or how's the weather where you are?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So say you're on a Zoom call that has five attendees. You're waiting for the last two people. You sit in silence.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Help Wanted is like Money Rehab, but instead of answering all of your burning questions on money and personal finance, Help Wanted answers all of your burning questions on career and business, starting a company, excelling in a company, and everything in between. And so to close my week and start the next, I wanted to share an episode of Help Wanted that I was on. Enjoy and see you soon.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I'm sorry.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I did the exact cliche thing that I was like, so are you, do you guys live in New York? And they were like, nope, just outside of it in Jersey. And I was like, ah, okay.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So I actually that's a pet peeve of mine when people do that.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
It's not about where you're looking on the thing. It's about how you're behaving in the thing. And so if you're like adjusting your hair, I'm like, I know that wherever you're looking, that's where your video is. It's not a pet peeve when you do it because nothing that you could do could ever bother me.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
But when I'm on like, when I'm on a bigger meeting and I just, I see people do it, it is a pet peeve of mine.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
I'd say 25%.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Nicole has her, her video pinned and ours aren't even visible. Wait, Morgan.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Okay, shrimping is the word for when somebody joins a Zoom interview like this.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Everybody has seen that. And I think that the question is, how much does your composition on Zoom really matter and make an impact on people? Like, do people really care? And does it actually make a difference? Nicole says yes.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
The crazy thing about all of these questions is that they wouldn't have even been questions four years ago. And so the new normal, the way that we work is changing so much with technology and in a post-pandemic world. And so as listeners have questions about new work etiquette that they want to ask, DM Nicole or Jason on Instagram. You can follow them. Just maybe don't follow your boss.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Hello. Nicole and Jason. Jason and Nicole.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Perfect. Happy to be here. Well, let's just start out by saying, you guys, it's 2024. It is a new era for a whole lot of things in our life. There's AI. There's People are wearing baggy pants now like it's the 90s.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Yes. Yeah. There's a whole lot of newness going on and that has also translated into the workplace. And so today what I'm going to do with both of you is take you through some workplace etiquette that people have some questions about. And I'd like for you both to weigh in and share what your thoughts are around these etiquette questions. Are you ready to rock?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Exactly. Great. All right. Here's the first question for you both. Should you follow your boss on Instagram?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Let me paint this scenario. Your boss has a private Instagram account.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
He or she has not followed you. Should you hit that follow button?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
So if you do follow your boss on Instagram, don't block them.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Excellent. Okay, now as bosses, say one of your employees has a public Instagram and has not followed you. Do you follow... this employee on their public Instagram account.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
All right, moving on to Zoom, everybody's new office. Got a lot of etiquette questions about Zoom.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
First, can you eat during a Zoom meeting? Say it's in all hands.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Huh. I guess if we've never noticed it, Nicole, maybe it's not that big of a deal.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
When is it appropriate to come to a Zoom meeting with your camera turned off?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
What?
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
That is so surprising to me and the complete opposite of what I thought you were going to say because, okay, so imagine a scenario in which you have somebody on your team who has kind of been slacking. Everybody's working remote. You have
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
your suspicions that they don't work at all they are actually a very prominent member of a bowling league and they're bowling professionally and not doing their work if they come to a meeting with their camera turned off are you thinking that they're distracted they're not focused they're not actually engaged
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Hey, money rehabbers. It's Morgan, who's been filling in for Nicole this week while Nicole is out on mat leave. And it has been so much fun guest hosting. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. And maybe I'll see you again soon. Next week, the guest host is going to be Nicole, kind of.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Wow.
Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin
"Should I Follow My Boss On Instagram?" and Other New Workplace Etiquette Conundrums
Safety first. Okay, next. Is it annoying to type during a Zoom call and therefore should you not do it? If you have to take notes for a Zoom call, should you instead record the meeting or take notes in a notebook so that you're not clackety clacking?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Can you talk a little bit more about those and what might that actually look like or mean in a work environment?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's Nutrafol.com. Promo code MONEYREHAB. And now for some more money rehab. you have clearly been thinking about this a lot because you came up with seven languages for it. Is it because you have had in your own workplace life or your own career, a breakdown of trust? And you can be totally general here.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I'm not trying to out anyone, but is this something, is this an experience that you've had yourself? And what did that look like as much as you feel comfortable sharing?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah, and I can even just tell you from my own experience that Those conversations really can be so impactful beyond the two people who are having the conversation. Like, for example, I was at a podcast company before this one where we were going through the process of unionizing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And it was the first time in sort of those early meetings where it was just the employees who was kind of talking about what they need from leadership and things like that, that I had ever had a conversation with. about salary transparency with my coworkers.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And I found out that there was somebody on the team that I was on who had the same job title as me and had been working there longer, but I was getting paid almost double what she was getting paid. And it... made me feel sick. It made me feel terrible. And she had shared her salary first and it made me not want to say anything because I was like, I feel like the bad guy.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I have so much privilege that I didn't even realize that I had. But I just I thought like this is the moment where I need to be transparent because I think it will help her negotiate for a better deal for herself. And I told her how it made me feel. I was like, I feel guilty that I'm making this much more than you. And she was like, don't because I don't want you to make less.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I just want to make more. And it was such a useful conversation for everybody on our team because it made everyone feel more comfortable being transparent about how much we were getting paid. And it made us all all just ask for the same thing and be on the same page from leadership. And so it was a conversation that we had that just had such a bigger impact beyond just the two of us.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I can say that I, I certainly know that this is really, these things are really important. Building trust is so important. You mentioned broken trust and I, You in your book talk about rebuilding trust. And so I think I already know your answer, but is it really possible to rebuild trust once some of it has been lost?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Hey, it's Morgan, the executive producer of the show. And I am so excited to share that the guest host of Money Rehab this week is Minda Hartz. Minda is a best-selling and award-winning author, workplace advocate, and thought leader in self-advocacy and trust restoration. Minda's a big deal.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah. A hundred, a hundred percent. And I think it's so helpful that you break down for people specifically what is helpful in a scenario where there's been broken trust, because let's just put it all out there. It's really hard to rebuild trust. Like it is so much easier to break trust than it is to rebuild it. And I have been thinking about this a lot, just in us,
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Talking about this and just me sort of absorbing these thoughts about trust and hearing you talk about it so much, it reminded me of a conversation that a friend had with me. She was in marriage counseling with her husband, and they were talking about one particular lie that he told. And he was like, I don't see what the big deal is. I only lied to you about this once.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And their therapist was like, but when you lie, you don't take away one truth. You take away all of them. Yeah, which I always think about. And it really sort of brought home for me the truth of the matter, which is that it is a lot easier to break trust than it is to rebuild it.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I think it's really helpful that you give people these scripts of what to say and how to take accountability because that's such an important part of the process. And it's helpful, too, because I think people think of trust as like a...
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
maybe a fuzzy soft type of skill, but you make the case in your book that not only is it critical for a business's bottom line, but you also give us a way to think about trust more concretely, like in the seven languages, but you also lay out a trust equation. Can you explain what that equation is?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Minda was named LinkedIn's number one top voice in the workplace in 2020 and one of Business Insider's top 100 people transforming business in 2022. Her books, like The Memo, Right Within, and You Are More Than Magic, have empowered countless professionals to advocate for themselves and create lasting change in their careers. But let me tell you about her next book.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I love how, let me see if I can get it right about what you just said. Admitting that you have made a mistake or like admitting that you are a part of a process that is eroding trust or you are playing a role in the erosion of trust in the workplace feels like such a negative thing. And it potentially is.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
But the fact that you say like, can you flex your emotional intelligence to admit that you're, like, it just makes me feel more mature. Yeah. If I'm able to do that. And so I just really appreciate how you're helping people think about this. And you spoke about the election as sort of a recent example of how trust might be eroded in the workplace because you need the sensitivity.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
This was a kind of polarizing event for a lot of people potentially. Can you... talk about any other historical or public failure of trust and use the trust equation to explain what went wrong?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Her next book, Talk to Me Nice, The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace, is all about that. Strategies to make your work life better through building trust in your teams. And if you're thinking, I don't really feel like trust is that big of a deal at work. Well, Minda is going to tell you today that not only does trust help teams feel better, but they also operate better.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
It was very helpful and such a great example. So I have a two-part question for you. If a listener is... hearing you speak and realizing now that they have a trust issue in their workplace. And it's happening because of someone that's senior to them. It's sort of happening top down. What should they or can they do?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That feels like something I could say, like that feels like something that wouldn't be so uncomfortable or accusatory. And I I think I can see a world in which someone is listening and is going through this and is thinking, I just wish that my boss was a better leader so that I didn't have to ask.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Or I wish that my boss was better at these seven languages so that it isn't something that I would have to ask for and I would have stepped into an environment where there's already trust.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And so I understand how in some ways that could feel disappointing that it's something that you have to ask for, but I can also see how it can be empowering and also just sort of like save you from becoming that statistic of somebody who leaves without having a conversation because it might not be intentional.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Like the erosion of trust might not be intentional because they maybe have their own, like they need their own languages. Like in the love languages, right? not the trust languages, but the love languages, I think that there's been like a really healthy conversation or trend of having this healthy conversation in couples or being like, my love language is touch or my love language is quality time.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And as a result, you can see the effects of trust on a business's bottom line, so we really should all be taking this seriously. And if you're thinking to yourself, I don't think I have trust issues at work, well, you should still listen to this week of episodes because Minda will give you a whole new way to think about trust that will make the trust that you have even stronger.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And people share that theirs might not be the same, but they can at least give their partner what they need. And so I think normalizing that in the workplace about what you need from your boss is a really healthy, helpful thing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Yeah, yeah. And that leads me perfectly to I said, this was a two part question. My second part of this is for those either aspiring leaders or people who are already in positions of leadership at their work, if they are realizing that they're the problem. Or that they're the boss and therefore have an increased level of responsibility of the tone and culture of the office.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And they recognize that there is a lack of trust or there seems to be some of these symptoms that the diagnosis is eroding trust. What should they do?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Plus, this week she talks to some pretty fascinating people. From leadership expert Simon Sinek, who has made trust cool, as evidenced by his 3.9 million followers on Instagram. And Carl Lentz, who was the lead pastor of the church Hillsong, where he was a spiritual advisor to many, including celebrities like Justin Bieber, among others.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I am so excited about trust now. Just hearing you talk about it has made me really hype for this deep dive that you're going to be doing while you're guest hosting money rehab this week. And this week you are going to focus on four of the trust languages with some really interesting guests. Can you give listeners a little sneak peek about what they'll hear? Sure.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
But today, before we get into all of those conversations, I wanted you to get to know Minda. So I interviewed her, all about her research on trust and why we should care. Oh, and you'll hear in the interview, she says that she's not sure if she can reveal who she's interviewing this week. And obviously I just gave some of those people away, but I just had to give you a sneak peek.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And you know what? Enough with the previews. Let's just dive in. Here's my conversation with Minda. Minda Hartz, welcome to Money Rehab. Hey, Morgan. Happy to be here. So happy to be talking to you. You are an author, a speaker, an educator, but take us all back to the days before you built your big career. Let's go back to when you were little. What did you want to be when you grew up?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
I did not know any of this about you. So what did you do next? What was your first job out of college?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Wow. Yeah. I also started my first job out of college was also as an executive assistant. And so I can definitely sympathize with probably what you saw there. So can you bridge the gap between that time and when you wrote your first book, The Memo, which was and is such a sensation?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
So I'd love to hear kind of what you were doing leading up to that, but also would love to hear you talk about the book and where the mission of the book came from.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
What was it like for you? Because I was going to ask you and then you sort of naturally talked about it. Like the... Observing and witnessing toxic workplace culture and being the only, like you said, I can imagine how isolating that must have felt. And so before you wrote the blog, was there any sort of like moment where you were?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
talking to a friend or somebody that you met through networking, like a peer, where you had a moment where you thought, oh, it's not just me. I'm not the only period. I'm the only at my company, but every company has their only. And so there needs to be resources for people going through this experience or like best practices because...
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
the memo is full of of like practical information and resources that people can use when they are in that situation where they're the only specifically women of color
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Is it just me or is everything more expensive right now? I mean, don't even get me started on the price of eggs. And so with life getting more expensive, we probably are all spending more. But the last thing any of us want, I'm sure, is credit card debt. Enter the Chime Credit Builder card. This is a secured credit card with no annual fees.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's so amazing. And I am so in awe of people like you who kind of have that revelation wherever it is in therapy or with a friend or reading somebody else's blog. And they sort of look at how they can go beyond their own experience. I think a lot of people would be like, Amazing.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
So glad I worked that out in therapy, but that you turned around and thought about the other people who maybe hadn't had that aha moment and how to trigger that for them. And I just, I think that's really amazing. And you didn't stop there. You have continued to think about workplace environments that can be improved, that have room for improvement.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And your next book, which is out later this year, is called Talk To Me Nice, The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace. And it gives actionable strategies for restoring trust in the workplace. And so why was this the next topic that you want to trade about? I know you've written other books in the time between, but why is this the topic for your upcoming book?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
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The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
And we're going to talk about those languages in just a second. But first, I want to think about those people who you were talking to at these conferences and how you connected the dots and found trust as the common denominator between all of these stories.
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
Because I think that some people listening who are in a work environment and they know that something's not quite right, but they can't quite place it. They might not see that the symptoms that they're experiencing are the root cause is a trust problem. And so can you talk a little bit about what it might look like in a workplace environment if there's a lack of trust? What are those symptoms?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
What might people experience?
The Matt Walsh Show
Ep. 1528 - WATCH The Democrats Hilariously Fall Apart During The DNC Meeting
That's so useful. And you just gave two of the seven trust languages that you've identified, transparency and feedback. What are the other five? What are all seven?
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
I'm great. Hi, Dave. Hey. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? Yes, sir. So I'm kind of in this situation, my husband and I. We have been married almost three years in February, and we have our finances separate. Um, I have three children and he has one daughter who's in college.
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
Um, and so we're just trying to figure out how to go about, uh, combining the finances, um, with the salary I make and his salary and what we owe and expenses in that nature. What steps do you advise us? Where do we begin?
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
Oh gosh, mine was in 15. Okay.
The Ramsey Show
How The Baby Steps Protect You From Financial Uncertainty
He was, I believe, 18, 2018.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Hi, Rachel. Hi, George. Thank you for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Well, I'd like some guidance today on how to navigate my brother-in-law with tragedy. Excuse me if I get emotional. On January 14th, my sister-in-law passed away unexpectedly.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
That was two weeks ago. She's 38, and they have three children, and it's been pretty tough. I'm so sorry.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
As good as they can do for right now. They have three children, 15, 5, and 2. The 15-year-old is from a previous relationship, so I think financially her father is able to provide a lot, but to be honest, they weren't prepared. I mean, nobody is, but... He's kind of in a financial mess.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
So I have a few numbers. I don't have all the details because it's still very fresh, but I've gathered a few things. Um, to my knowledge, they don't have very, I don't think they have any savings.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Um, bought their house two years ago for 170,000. I believe their mortgage is $1,400 a month. Okay. I think he makes, they both worked for a trucking company. I think he's in like the 70 to 80 range. And I believe she was about 60 to 70. So he's losing half of her income. And also she was getting $1,700 a month in veteran benefits. And they did not pay for the survivor benefits.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Did she have any life insurance on her? I think she had a small policy through her work, maybe $20,000. No will. Um, they have 15,000 in credit card debt, two cars. One has a small loan. I believe it's her car and she may have a small 401k.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
It's me wondering because my wife and I have been following the day of steps for years. So we're on four, five, and six. So my brain automatically went to write up the baby steps. I was just trying to gather everything I have. So that is kind of a high-level overview. So I don't know if he should take her life insurance and just try to walk up the baby steps.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
I don't know if credit cards that are only in her name. If I should tell him to stop paying because autopsy results are pending. And so we may not get the death certificate for about two months. So I don't know if he can do much of anything until we get a death certificate.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
And that's why I haven't asked these questions yet. This is just kind of what I've gathered because. this is, I mean, this is so heavy. It's just pure grief.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
It's just tough all around. Oh, oh. That's kind of where he's starting. Like he said, you know, I'm going to Verizon today to get my name on all the accounts.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
Like if her name's on the mortgage, they can, I mean, technically they can come after those things.
The Ramsey Show
If You Live Fake Rich, You Will Become Real Broke!
May I address your listeners for just one minute?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
OK, we're starting off today with some rock, paper, scissors. I'm ready because you're really good. And I'm like, I thought I was pretty good. But you start off and you're like, I need to put this on my resume on traders because it was so you were so good.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. And even like you have your sister sticking up for you and now you're like, hey, thanks, but let's tone it down going forward. Instead, you're like, well, you made it worse. You made it worse. Like you don't you shouldn't be begging this guy to want to marry you. Exactly. You shouldn't be like. putting yourself down for the sake that he wakes up and gives you a ring.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Something's not right. Tough comment on this one. She should not marry this asshole even if he asks. He is cruel and a very small man to do that to her. Your sister needs to know she can do so much better.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
and yeah a little round of applause for engineering okay 1885 um op does respond to that and says facts dude is a walking red flag if this is how he treats her before marriage imagine how bad it'll be later she deserves way better than a guy who thinks humiliating her is comedy
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I lost my mind at that one. I think it actually was, he was a police officer. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I was so nervous about that one. I actually read it on our Patreon because I was like,
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, God, you're so right. And it's like, okay, gun, proposal, maybe a little apples to oranges, but like truly like it's giving just like odd, screw loose, something's not right here energy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Especially in front of his friends, his boys, and everyone's laughing and she's sitting there like, probably crying. Yeah. Because I'd be bawling my eyes out. I'd be distraught.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'd be distraught. There's a couple other comments from OP. Yeah, dude is pushing 33, not 13. He knows what he's doing. And last one I'll read. Yeah, that's the frustrating part. She's still choosing to stay and there's only so much I can do. At the end of the day, it's her life, but I'm not going to sit around and play nice with a dude who treats her like a joke.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just hoping she sees the red flag before it's too late.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Reddit's coming in. Reddit's coming in clutch. Being on Reddit as long as you have, have you heard the coconut story?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry. This guy lives in Africa, Mozambique, maybe. And he has a mom who's on a health kick and he's feeling a little sexually frustrated. And so he borrows or takes one of her coconuts because she's got a big supply of them and cuts a hole in the coconut and
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I also, I need you to go on like 10 more shows though. Like when are you submitting your Survivor application?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm just kidding. I think my audience would actually kill me if I read it again. I've read it four times on the podcast. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Listen to the episode with Chris Clemens. Okay. He uses this coconut for quite some time. No. Mm-hmm.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Mm-hmm. Yeah, he didn't empty it. He didn't wash it out after each use. And he used butter, I think, as lube.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
See, there's stories like that. And then there's one that actually was verified by the moderators. And the moderators actually talked to this person's psychologist. But this is another story I read where it was coming from the Ask Me Anything subreddit. And the guy was like, I broke both arms and ended up having a relationship with my mom. Ask me anything. Yeah. Yeah. Instantly scarred.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And so the moderator is like verified with this person. So it is a 100% real story. Wow. Wow. the things we find on reddit that's what makes it good another thing we are finding on reddit is this next one it's coming from aith six days old titled am i the asshole for sleeping in my car because my wife won't stop playing whale sounds at night whale sounds all right let's get into it
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My wife, 32 female, has recently gotten really into whale sounds. It started as something she played while working from home, and I didn't mind. Then she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner. Again, fine. I figured it was just a phase. But then she started playing them at night.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Jesse Tannenbaum, if you're out there, right here. I feel like you do so good. You just had such a good game on Traders where you were yourself, but you also had, like, you just had such an eye on, like, people, and you were so intuitive, and it was a really fun season to watch.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we're sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. She says it helps her relax and feel, quote, connected to nature. The problem is, I can't sleep through it. I've tried earplugs, but I swear I can still hear them.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds, and I feel like I'm in some sort of deep-sea horror movie. I asked if she could at least lower the volume or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to fill the room for the full effect. I even tried playing my own relaxing noises to balance it out. Rain sounds, white noise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But she said they, quote, ruined the purity of the ocean experience. After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car. I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and I actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Now she's furious, saying that I'm abandoning our bed over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment. I told her I'd happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds, but she says I'm being selfish and refusing to understand her needs. So am I the asshole for choosing my car over the call of the wild?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to pull up what he put here. Deep sea ocean whale sounds.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I honestly, I don't know if I've heard any whale sounds outside of Finding Nemo. I'll be honest. I'm like, okay, whale calls and underwater ambience, two-hour sleep ambience.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't know, guys. I don't like the bubbles.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to be honest. It's not as bad as I was expecting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
What did he say here? And now it makes sense. I feel like I'm in some kind of deep sea horror movie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That wouldn't relax me. I'd just be like, and the bubbles. The bubbles are really annoying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Not a couch. Probably can still hear him, though. If he's blasting them on two speakers, surround sound in their bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think she needs to take a trip to the local aquarium and just get it out of her system. But honestly, it sounds like she's almost like Pavlov'd herself a little bit here because she's listening to them when she works from home, when she cleans. So it's like now she needs whale sounds 24-7.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Have you seen, this is such an old time movie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. Similar premise. It is the oldest movie I think I've watched. And it's with this guy. He was in the Andy Griffith show.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's like Mr. Lippet or Mr. Something. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The incredible Mr. Lippet. Limpet. Yeah. He turns into a fish.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That's what this lady wants to do. She wants to just turn into a little whale. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Wait, is it a horror movie? Yeah. Oh my God, it looks terrifying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, the movie poster for it is actually terrifying.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Back to this one. Am I the asshole for sleeping in the car?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, he's not threatening divorce. He's not giving her an ultimatum. He's like, hey, I'm just going to go sleep in the car.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Top comment has since been deleted by the user, but on the thread, I listen to white noise sometimes to sleep. I use earbuds. Others aren't quite so considerate. My ex used to be uncomfortable and raise her arm and drop it on the bed repeatedly just for that person listening to white noise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Apparently. Like, that passive-aggressive, like, ugh.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which, like, this is becoming really popular. People are starting to sleep in separate bedrooms.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like, a lot of couples do because of snoring or, like, sleep apnea and CPAP machines.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like, no, not the asshole. Maybe just separate rooms. She gets her whale. Maybe they have to soundproof it, though.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Groupon 10 pack. There's only one comment from OP and it's someone it's in response to someone saying like, oh, the story is fake. And OP goes, I wish it was, man.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
That is unhinged behavior. Unhinged. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Am I the Asshole, 27 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for making my boyfriend's mom cry because of a petty rule? So me, 20 female, and my boyfriend, 24 male, have been together for almost two years, and we live together. His mother is very involved in his life.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Some might say overbearing, but I try to be respectful. She's nice, but has this way of pushing boundaries while acting like she still means well. So the issue. I have a no shoes in the house rule. My boyfriend is cool with it. All of my friends do it. No problem. But his mom refuses. She claims it's rude to ask guests to take their shoes off and that it makes her feel disrespected.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I've tried explaining that it's just a cleanliness thing, but she won't budge. Last weekend, she came over and surprise, surprise, walked in with her shoes on. I very politely, I swear, said, oh, can you take them off, please? She kind of huffs and is like, you are really going to ask me to do this? And I just stood there waiting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She sighed dramatically, took them off, and then spent the whole visit sulking. Then, later, I get a text from my boyfriend's dad saying I made her cry, and she feels like I'm trying to assert dominance over her in her son's home. Our home, actually. My boyfriend is on my side, but now his parents are acting like I've disrespected the Queen of England.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just went back and watched it. It's actually so good. It was. I love her.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Am I the asshole for standing my ground on a very normal rule? Wow.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I feel like that's kind of a, it's a hard dynamic. At least it was for me to like get over that. Like I'm 18. I have a boyfriend. I can't really, you know, talk back or like assert myself with their parents. But now it's like, okay, I'm 31. I should be able to like tell my mother-in-law how I feel. And it's kind of hard getting over that.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But like, she's also not telling her something unrealistic or unreasonable. It's like, hey, can you just take your shoes off when you come in my house?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are you a shoes in the house person?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's like it's the hill that they're both dying on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I love when we get two sides to the story. We do do that sometimes. I don't know, though. I'm like, I get like this is definitely their power, like struggle coming to light.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which is so funny because like the mom is like, you're just trying to assert your dominance over me. But aren't you doing the same thing by wearing shoes in the house? Like, do you know how much stuff is on the bottom of your shoes?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're just going to swiffer after? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
hi will you take off your shoes yeah well and no mention of like culture was in this story but like i know like certain cultures like you take off your shoes no ifs ands or buts do not pass go do not click 200 but there's no mention of that here so it's giving just cleanliness issue yeah cleanliness no it's it's a it's a power trip this is there this is the hill they're both dying on
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Did you watch Boston Rob's season as well?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I've just seen too many people shit on sidewalks that you're taking your shoes off.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, it feels wrong. I was in New York a couple weeks ago, and this pug just, like, strolled out and just pooped right in the center of the sidewalk.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I was like, people are like... It's a full sidewalk, and... Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, I didn't see... I think I saw... I think I might have seen his second one because I don't know if I saw him in Amber either. But I did watch him on Amazing Race.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think that could be another one you apply for if Survivor is not your thing. Because I know eating only rice and coconut pulp might not be it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. My fiance wanted to invite her ex to our wedding. From what I know, he was a dick who always put her down and told her he was the best she could ever do. Naturally, I asked her why the hell does she want him at our wedding. She said she wanted to shove it in his face that she did amazingly for herself, and she got someone way better.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. Well, I was going to say you could do Amazing Race.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
While I appreciated the compliment, I asked her, are you really so hung up on him that you're going to make our wedding about him? Honestly, once I said it, it was like someone else told me. I didn't even realize what I was saying and I didn't understand until I even said it. I told her that she shouldn't bother to invite him because we weren't getting married anymore.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She was stunned and eventually apologized and told me to forget about her ex. I felt angry and almost told her she's the one who needs to forget about him. I don't know. She spent the day telling me that she's sorry for even bringing it up. I'll be honest. I'm even reconsidering the entire relationship now. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's so good. And the way, like, I think Survivor was so big at the time that him and Amber did it. Everyone recognized them, so they got so much help to, like, get bumped ahead. And, like, everywhere from, like, India to... That's cool. It was really... It was a cool season to watch.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. But just do what everyone else does and see if they're watching your Instagram story. I don't like, don't invite them to your wedding.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like, is she even in love with him or is she just using him to make that ex jealous? And, like, truly, like, look what I got. Like, look, I got better than you now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's bad. I can't even imagine if my fiance was like, oh, yeah, I'm inviting my ex.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like that's something that would be different if like if you had an ex that like you dated in middle school or high school or whatever. And like you've since just remained really good friends, like family friend or whatever. Like that's so different. But this is purely out of spite.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh my God. Is this breakup worthy? Like he's like calling off the wedding right now, but like, would you even move forward with this relationship?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
they need to have some real conversations for sure do you find it kind of weird that this ex might even say yes to coming like why even invite him like he's probably not gonna say yes like you know what i mean like it's kind of embarrassing that you'd invite him yeah yeah like are you not embarrassed you're inviting your ex that's why i was like they have to be friends still like he's gonna think you're kind of he's gonna think you're a loser
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She wanted to, yeah. Which I'm like, if he said yes, then I'd be like, oh, there's some funny business going on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're just cringing on the inside. You're just like, oh.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think so. The top comment on this one, not the asshole for calling off the wedding. If her fixation on her ex raised serious doubts about the relationship, the fact that she wanted to invite him to shove it in his face shows that she's still emotionally tied to proving something to him.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. Next comment after that, this. At minimum, she is not prepared for marriage. At worst, she still has feelings for him. I'm not saying to end the relationship, but at least postpone the wedding for several months until you have more time to clear your uneasiness and feel again, she is the one. Don't take unnecessary risks.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We have an update. So we are going to try some premarital counseling first. Our wedding has gone from being called off to being postponed indefinitely. My fiance tried to explain why she wanted to invite her ex, but not only did she keep changing her answers, each one made it way worse for me. First, she tried to explain that she just wanted some payback.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I told her, and if he doesn't care, are you going to rub it in his face with our first child, our first home? She said she didn't mean it that way and that she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her that I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Ooh, that one, that one hurt.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We kept going like this for a while, and there wasn't a single answer she gave that didn't boil down to, she cares what her ex thinks, and apparently she can't be happy unless her ex felt some sort of way about it. She denied it, but honestly, I find it hard to believe her. I don't want our marriage to be only worth something if her ex is the only one who can determine it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I refuse to be with someone whose happiness revolves around her ex's feelings. I decided to at least try some counseling. We have been together for years now. FYI, she was with her ex for about two years. Three years later, she met me and we have been together for four. I figured I should try. So at least I can say I tried. Is that seven years though? Was with the ex for two years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Three years later met me. We've been together for four years. She hasn't been with this person for seven years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Call me paranoid. Yeah. Call me paranoid, but there's something going on there still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just wouldn't be able to do the eating challenges.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think so. It seems like very emotionally mature, like a self-aware king, like really pulling his ego out of this and just being like, I'm going to give it a shot. Try some counseling, which isn't necessarily the wrong answer. Like I know a lot of us like that sunken cost fallacy. Have you heard that before?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Did you, okay, I think it was on Rob's season, maybe a different one, but they had to eat, have you seen those ginormous like martini glasses?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I'm like, maybe he's there with it. But like, I honestly, I'm like kind of perplexed. I'm like seven years, girl. Like you said yes to marrying this person. You didn't even get ring clarity. So like once he proposed and you're like, I'm not over my ex. Like I should call this off. Like, no, you're still going through with it. But like seven years, she needs to go to individual therapy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
now that you mention it i think i would be too because i'd be like was any of this genuine like or am i just a prop to make the ex jealous yeah am i the b am i always going to be your b plan b yeah oh yeah i feel like i feel like yeah i i don't even know if counseling's worth it
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
They had to eat a whole thing of beluga caviar.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So we're kicking it off. Rock, paper, scissors, okay? Do you do rock, paper, scissors, shoot?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, you're so right. God, what you just said there, like there's nothing bad that would come out of therapy. Like it would truly all be good one way or another.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, he absolutely read her. Yeah. When she was like, she just wanted to prove her worth, which I then told her, I guess her ex is the only one who can determine her worth. Like, that is such a read. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Top comment on this one. Not the asshole. After seven years broken up, four years out of the seven with you, and sounds like she is still not over him, I wouldn't dare marry her. And that's a mic drop. Exactly. If the ex were to show some interest, she'd drop OP in a hot minute.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The one that got away? I can't know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and inviting the ex to the wedding, I wonder if she wants that I object moment.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I can't let you go through with this.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It was fancy. It was fancy. I don't know. I'm not a caviar gal, but that's what they said it was. And people were throwing up.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There's no other reason to incite this kind of drama.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my God. Why would you even want that on your wedding day? Yeah. That and then that proves like, no, she needs it. She's so insecure. Like she. Oh, that sucks. Like I'm debating even if I can give certain people plus ones for my wedding because I'm like, they're too much of a liability. Yeah. And this girl wants to invite her ex. Crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think you do. Seven years. When I heard the years, I'm like, no, no.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I'm like, wait, how old are these people? But there was no mention of age in the post.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It was too much. So you might have to train. You might have to train.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I just tried to find some comments from OP just to see if there's anything else for us. There's no mention of age still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, but I mean, at least it's been seven years since she dated the ex. So I'm like, at least they're in their 20s, I would assume. But OP goes, they aren't fucking friends. He was abusive and they haven't talked in years. So like we get that context.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. People were like trying to like shit on him and be like, women just can't win, can they? And OP goes, right, because I'm the one who wanted to invite him to the wedding. What? Do you think if I was a woman and my ex a guy, I'd magically be like, hey, it's okay. Invite your ex and make her an important part of our wedding.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
people got a little goofy in the comments yeah they took her side on that some but like mostly overall people were saying and saying hey not not the asshole don't don't marry this gal
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, I mean, OP was, I keep shutting my computer. I'm like, open it again. OP was commenting as recent as five hours ago.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, wait, last comment five hours ago. We have talked a few times, mostly about finances and property. I picked up my stuff from our old place. She lived in our apartment before I moved in, so I moved out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
At least done or at least he's really taking space and is like, let's go back to dating therapy and really sort this out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's good that traders didn't have any eating stuff.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So it's like... Hey, you're welcome back anytime.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Bring your girlfriend. I'm like, if she knows a thing or two about Reddit, we can always use some good quality takes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think you did good. I think like, I feel like you had very like... Actually, reasonable, attainable takes, which is like a part of the battle here on the show. It's like, OK, everyone's going to jump to divorce. But like, is that really what people are going to do?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just a little kumbaya moment here. But where can people find you? Anything exciting coming up? I know people need to go and watch Traders for sure because it's truly some of the best reality TV I've watched in a while.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It really does. It's like it's a gamer show because there's strategy, but there's also like the reality TV type fix with it, too.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. I saw the Southern Charm and then I'm like, people are like, okay, we got to get Gabby on like Housewives or something.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm like, oh my gosh, you on Summer House or something fun.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm going to have to, I have no idea what the culture is over there. I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to dive in. But all of Dylan's links will be in the description of this episode. Go give him a follow. Watch Traders. But thank you again. Thank you. And until next time, bye. Bye. Just kidding. Who would I be if I left you with an episode that was only an hour and ten minutes? That's not us.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No. I was surprised they even did the bugs.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, no. That'd be terrible. Terrible. Heavens. Heavens to Betsy. Please, no. So here we are. I've got Justin for a couple more stories. And we're keeping on this paranoid or perfectly executed theme.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're subbing in, yeah. It is I. Yeah. And I'm dealing with some crazy allergies, everyone. Go to your local farmer's market. Get some local bee pollen because when these allergies start hitting and you're not getting ahead of it, it is rough out here. Rough out here. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I have been on a Sudafed Claritin Flonase cocktail. And let me tell you, after five days of struggling, I'm feeling okay right now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The bugs was insane. No, like Sierra, like had them going down her back. Like it was the bugs would. I would have tapped out. I wouldn't have been able to do it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Because I feel so terrible. I'm tired. I'm just tired. Those allergies are... Yeah. It feels like an aggressive cold, but I don't know. Allergies. I'm sneezing nonstop. I just can see the pollen in the air.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You can. It's just blowing around out here. But without further ado, let's get into these stories. Also, for our audio listeners, just in case... Who is joining me on these stories?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't think you've ever called yourself that on the show.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's Justin. Okay, this first one.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, boy, Justin, this is coming from True Off My Chest posted eight hours ago. It is titled, I believe I may have caused the end of my friend's marriage. My buddy, 42 male, I've known since middle school and his wife have two kids. They've been married for 16 years. Apparently, he's had very low sperm count for years, and they were quite lucky to conceive twice.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Regardless, this past Saturday, they're over at our house with another couple for dinner, and we're all laughing and the conversation is light. And then his wife asks us a hypothetical question. Quote, say your husband asked you for a paternity test, would you give him one? Well, I know my wife's stance on this. She is strongly against accusing women of infidelity under the guise of these tests.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So I beat her to it and said laughing, quote, If I ever asked, and I never would, she would probably get me positive results within a day or two stapled to divorce papers. And that would be that. But I would never ask, because I love and trust my wife, and no, there's never any doubt.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think if you're the guy asking, your marriage is already probably screwed, and you're killing time till one of you finally starts the ball rolling on divorce. Damn! Well, guess who didn't realize that was not a fun, harmless hypothetical, but in fact a shotgun, loaded question pointed right at me. Yep, yours truly.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Turns out my buddy's wife is nine weeks pregnant, and he, knowing his count is very low, quote, just needed to make sure, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Big mistake, man. She was willing to give him the confirmation. Upset, he would question it, though. My comments were like gasoline on a bonfire, and from what my wife just texted me, they may be separating over this issue.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I texted them both to say I was so sorry and didn't mean to imply anything and every situation has nuance, is unique, etc., but I doubt it helped at all. Guys, why are you asking this to your wives of many years? Just sad all around, and now their third child may be born into a one-parent household. He could have started with the urologist to find out if his count had improved.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So many options before accusing his wife of cheating.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or just to be like, hey, here's other people that aren't us. you're making me feel crazy for being offended. You asked for one and this is your friends. Like, listen to your friends, buddy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or it's just like he's asking, he's like, he's like, babe, my sperm count is really low. How are we having a third kid? And she's like, I don't know what to tell you, but we are. And then in his head, he's like, well, my sperm count is so low. It's not mine. I want a paternity test.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I would assume he is known. So they have two kids. There's no context of how old those two kids are.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The helicopter, I would have no issue with. It's just the bugs. Yeah, just the bugs. And the eating. I'm a texture person.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are there age gaps between the kids? Did they struggle to have those kids? Like just because it's low sperm count doesn't mean they're not strong swimmers. It's not like he's sterile. Like he has some.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So maybe his wife is extremely fertile to make up for his, you know, infertility.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, that's where I'm at, because you can put yourself think about us and our relationship right now. We're six years in. If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow, you wouldn't jump to a paternity test. And they've been together 16 years and have two kids already. So what in his head made him paranoid to where he thought, oh, well, the third one, you only get lucky twice, not three times.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I can only eat bananas like one day out of their lifespan.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Third one, definitely not mine. He was being a bit paranoid. Paranoid.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I feel like... I feel like he could just be paranoid.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. Like, oh, my sperm count's low. Okay, well, you're not sterile. Like, you still have some. And you clearly have two other kids. Or he's projecting.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or he's cheating. And I don't know. Like, people project and say and do crazy shit when they're the ones that are guilty. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Disgusting. You can't do it. Some people eat them green.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just reading Reddit stories, man.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
No, there's no fault. And I think OP responded perfectly. I think that was a great execution. Like, if you're asking for a paternity test in your marriage, it's already got issues. That might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it doesn't mean there weren't 10 already there. 10 other issues. And that paternity test is like, how did he get there? Is he projecting? Is he paranoid?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Is there issues with them? Either way, he asked for it. Kind of inappropriate. If you have doubts, why do you have those doubts? Evaluate those versus like, I want a paternity test. Because that's not... ever going to have good results. Typically, it hasn't in a lot of these stories we've read.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's gross. Jail. Straight to jail.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
If you more approached it from a you standpoint... My sperm count is really low. This is a big surprise that we would have a third kid. I should look at my sperm count. And OP does get into this a little bit. So there's a comment from someone and they're kind of attacking OP a little bit here. You're looking at it through rose-colored glasses, OP. Try to be in his shoes.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I highly doubt you wouldn't have had these thoughts as well if you were in his situation. It's another to speak it out loud and accuse. Yes, the whole issue of cheating wives and raising someone else's baby has been blown up on social media and overblown, a little over-exaggerated. And your friend probably looked a little too deep into it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Doesn't take away from the fact it does still happen enough to be a topic. Just look over at the subreddit of 23andMe, Ancestry. Fucking shitshow because of exactly this. Adding to him very likely being insecure about his potency and already having two miracle babies and now a third on the way. Who wouldn't be confused, surprised, and a myriad of other emotions? Of course it got into his head.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's another issue how he handled it poorly. Should have gone to the doctors again, rechecked, etc. Sometimes sperm count are affected because of stress, diet, and various persons' environmental influence. I'm anyways in the camp, mandatory paternity and DNA test at birth. Not only to determine paternity, prevent switch at birth, but also to check for gene defects, inherited illnesses, etc.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that is a hot take. Mandatory paternity tests at birth. The thing is, a paternity test is different than a DNA test to check for illnesses. So you can do a DNA test and not look at paternity at all.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So coming off of Traders, do you feel like Traders might have made you a little paranoid?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I mean, the switch to a birth thing is a big fear for a lot of people, especially if the baby gets taken out of the room for tests and stuff.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, they've tightened that up a little bit. I think they've changed how they... At least at a lot of hospitals, like the hospitals that I have family members that have given birth at, the baby doesn't leave the room.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like they have a bassinet in the room versus going to a centralized nursery. So that's nice. But I mean, we've had stories in the past where... The husband thought the wife was cheating, did a DNA test on the kid. Kid was switched at birth. Like that has been a story on one of our episodes. Is it wrong to be paranoid? No, but it's it's kind of how you approach it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that's what that comment said under all the muck of what word vomit was in there. But OP responds to it. OK, OP says the difference between he and I and possibly you and I is I would have started my fact finding with myself. Off to my urologist to see if my count has increased. It's like the guy whose wife gets pregnant after he has a vasectomy and instantly accuses her.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. I give you so much credit because I was... And I think a lot of us out there, if you watched, I was really nervous when Carolyn gave you her emotional spiel and you still... You didn't get sucked in. But then Danielle's was like... I was sitting there and I was like, that is the most manipulative thing I think I've ever seen on TV. And you still, you stuck to your guns.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Do you know a vasectomy fails a high enough percentage of the time? Less likely as time goes on, but even if it's 1% or 0.1%, there are 300 million people. Many of them snipped and having sex. Failed vasectomy pregnancies are happening every single day, but it's never people's first thought. It's always, ah, has to be she cheated.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Guys can start with themselves first and not point the sights on her at all.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Unless you do the paternity test.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Which I'm curious what people would prefer. And this is an interesting one because it's like, I think for me, I would... Oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. But I would almost rather prefer not knowing. Like if my partner, if you had doubts and you're like, God, this kid really doesn't look like me. Let me just be sure. I would almost rather not know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And like if that's a weird thing, you have to get over. But then I'm like, but there are a lot of cracks. Like if you get that far... There's obviously a lot of cracks in our relationship, but I'm thinking I'm going to make this one the poll of would you rather have your partner talk to you about the doubts, talk about a paternity test, whether it's, hey, I think our kid was switched at birth.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It might not be just, oh, you cheated, but would you rather them talk to you about it or secretly do the paternity test and then life goes on and you never have to know?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Leave it to the poll. Put it to the people. I'm excited to see what you guys think. But top comment on this one. Their marriage was over long before you opened your mouth. Came here to say this. Next comment. He could have a low count, but particularly modile, spunky boys. Or his wife produces loads of eggs, and it's pretty much permanently at breeding temperature.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's far more complex than low count equals unlikely. He's an idiot to jump to this, and it signifies a bigger underlying trust issue. Possibly he could have been depressed about what he thinks low sperm means for him a good while, but he should have talked about it. It could be his own shame lashing out, but even so, he's an idiot. This next comment also, thank you, Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But if that were me, I would come out of the show so paranoid. Like, who's lying to me?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You did such a good job. I was like, please, please, like, get her out of there. And you did such a good job. I would have crumbled. But I think because of your experience, I think you'll do a great job today with the theme I have for you. I'm ready. So we're going with paranoid or perfectly executed. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So these are people writing in and they're like, I think a lot of times with Reddit, people will write in like, am I the asshole for this? And they're just kind of paranoid about it, even though they're not the asshole or they're paranoid about it and it's justified because they are the asshole. So we're going to get into these ones and see if you think...
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But am I the asshole? I'm withholding information from my family too. And my father-in-law, husband's bio dad, even though they never wronged me. They don't pester me to tell them anything and they respect my decisions.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yep. It's their birth plan. It's what they want.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It can go smooth, even smooth. You're still giving birth.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. And here's where I'm like, I think right now she is executing this perfectly. I don't think she's being paranoid because the mom... Acted really goofy the last time. Like the proof is in the pudding. Yeah. But here's the other thing with this one. And I think you need to get a little paranoid about how your husband's going to act. Your husband went against what you wanted, told stepdad.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She went into labor. Stepdad told mom. That's when all the pestering happened. Okay. Mom's calling husband. Mom's getting crazy. Mom's overbearing. Okay. Crossing boundaries, calling every hour.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Insane behavior. But you know who the bigger culprit in this is? The husband. Shut off your phone. Don't enable your mom. Quit being a mama's boy. You have a wife in labor and you're answering your phone every hour, on the hour, for 32 hours. Ugh. I would have not let him come back in. I would have fucking tossed that phone out the hospital window. I would have gone crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And I know I'm not blaming her by any means because she was quite literally giving birth. It's not what she should have to worry about. But God, the phone ringing off the hook like that. Has she had the baby yet? Has
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my God. She's pregnant again.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. It's THT Morgan. I don't really, I've posted like about car issues. Like I, my old car was like making a clunky noise and I like recorded it and put it on Reddit or I was trying to find my fiance like an ancient coin. And so I went on the coin subs to like talk to the coin people.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Or, like, I mean, the mom said, like, she was just worried about him, like, the husband. But in reality, like... With what? She could be worried about her son being even busier with another kid and not having any time for her. Like, this is clearly a mom that oversteps boundaries and is... Enmeshed with her son.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, I'm looking at OP's account, okay? I wanted to see if there were any other comments. OP has been on Reddit for over two years now. The first couple posts on her account do shed some light. First post in r slash baby bumps. Excited about pregnancy, but irritated because of my mom-in-law. I did not know this existed. This is so funny.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah, two years ago. This is first baby. I'm a 22-year-old female, currently 16 weeks pregnant. My first trimester was very frustrating due to a lot of negative results while I was pregnant, both home tests and two blood work plus ultrasound. I lost 10 pounds due to the continuous nausea and vomiting. I bring up the subject here because I definitely feel a bit guilty about it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My family took the news calmly and once in a while bring up my pregnancy and don't make a big deal about it. But on the other hand, my in-laws' family, especially mom-in-law, are overly excited about it. It'll be her first grandchild, so I understand the excitement, but it's also my mom's first grandchild, and I can't help but get annoyed by it.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I'm not sure if it's due to the pregnancy hormones that I get so irritated about their excitement or it's because of the approach that my mother-in-law takes. For example, she just stated that she will prepare her second bedroom for the child ASAP and told me not to purchase anything because it's too early for that. Next thing she stated that she would do the baby shower for the baby in March.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I didn't ask for it. While I do understand the goodwill behind it, I'm genuinely irritated because of it. Did anyone have any similar experiences or frustrations like that? Am I the asshole for being irritated by happy people?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and I think that's one thing to be super excited and throw a baby shower. That's normal. But when the mom is saying, oh, the second bedroom in my house, it's going to be a nursery. I'm going to put a crib in there. I'm going to get everything. You, it's too early for you to shop for your house. You don't need anything. And maybe there's a language barrier.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Maybe something's getting lost where it's like, wait until your shower. Get all your gifts at your shower. Don't buy anything. But most in-laws, most grandparents don't set up full bedrooms for your baby. That's where it's kind of like, my baby's not staying at your house. It doesn't need its own room. Like when you babysit, we can bring a little... Fold up crib. It doesn't need to be crazy.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, typically. A lot of people now are doing that. I think it obviously depends on the family. And, like, some moms have to go back to work right away. And their parents will pick up the slack and, you know, help. But typically, like, people are really nesting, like, Maternity leave here varies, but like three-ish months for the moms I know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And so they really kept their babies at home because they don't have immune systems and they want to bond and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
There was... And I teach their own. Like, I'm not going to judge a mom. Like, maybe that's what she needs to prevent postpartum depression, whatever.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You're like, no trace. No trace. I want no trace.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
For the immune system. I was very surprised. There was like a literal... It was fresh. It was fresh. No more than a week or two weeks old. Like there's no way. It's the smallest baby I've ever seen in public in my life. And it was headed into a bar at Disneyland.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
You know, who knows? And like, again, like maybe that baby, the mom needed that. So she's mentally better. Like, I don't I don't know the situation. I was just surprised given how little it was in immune systems. That's that was I was like, whoa. But I have seen like drama in the hockey community recently. And someone I follow from like her being in Duluth the same time I was there.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Let's get into these stories. Hello. Okay, starting off. This one is three hours old, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for humiliating my sister's fiancé at a family gathering after what he did to her? My sister, 28 female, has been with her fiancé, 32 male, for three years.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Her name's Lexi LaFleur. Well, socials wise, she just wrote her first book. Like, so, so cool. But she is married to a hockey player that played at like my college in Duluth. And. There was this mom being shamed for taking a newer baby to watch her husband play hockey. And all these people were like, how dare you bring a baby to a hockey game?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And the thing is, like, if you're a wag, like you're going in a private room, you have a catered meal, gourmet food that chefs prepare, like that might be the best place for her to go. Her whole community is there. And that's kind of what Lexi was talking about. So you got to do what you got to do. I don't know anything about it. No. And moms, I mean, you got to do what you got to do.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like that is just, it's tough. You can only do so much. Like kids pick up RSV from, I don't know, it feels like everyone's getting RSV right now. It's just so scary, but whatever. So then there's drama with another post titled Wedding Slash Pregnancy Drama. I, female 23, currently 31 weeks pregnant. This weekend, I got married to my husband, 25, after two years of being and living together.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know it's a random post from usual pregnancy stuff, but I can't figure out what I'm feeling. My husband is lovely, and I love him a lot, and of course, would love to have his whole attention. But we got married four hours away up the mountains. His childhood friend couldn't afford to come to the wedding, hotel, food, etc., and I didn't have an issue with helping cover the costs.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
But due to not having a car either, we had to also let him join us, and my husband kept running to pick him up and drop him off everywhere, even when family suggested they do it for him. His friend is amazing, and I enjoy his company, but I feel so jealous that my husband barely paid any attention to me throughout. We had a short ceremony, photoshoot, and then dinner,
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
drove home the next morning his friend was even there when my husband helped me take off my wedding dress we didn't have a wedding night because we were so tired i feel upset about it and i can't bring myself to tell my husband his friend is still around the day after His friend was there as you were taking off your wedding dress.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Sometimes a corset, sometimes just underwear, lingerie.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Not something that you're typically is seen beyond an intimate partner.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And that's also supposed to be a really special moment.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Well, and it's like your new husband is taking off your dress. Like that's meant to be like a really special moment for a lot of people.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. So I think it's just kind of proving like her husband doesn't prioritize her again and again and again. Yeah. And the mom is just one other thing.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. We do have some other comments, though, in regards to this specific post. Sadly, fighting her back is not an option. We tried that. She victimized herself and makes my life harder. There's a lot of drama way beyond just this part. So someone does go, I'm not sure I understand.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Have you told her that you are not giving her any information because she's an annoying pest that gives you stress and anxiety and you refuse to have that during your pregnancy? Time for brutal honesty. If you piss her off enough, she'll leave you alone. Not the asshole. I don't think I don't think that's this lady at all. Piss her off. She's going to hound you harder.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
We all know one of those people like pissing them off only makes it worse.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Yeah. So someone responds to that and goes, bare minimum, I'd tell her a due date way past my actual due date, lol. OP responds, I was thinking of that. My husband disagrees, saying it's an asshole move. Whose side is this motherfucker on? Because it's not hers.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My mind just goes so many places because of all the stories we've read. I know, me too. I'm like, is he into his friend? I know. But she's pregnant with his baby, so he is into her in some way. But like, maybe he is into the friend. And like, I don't know. Like, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. OP just goes on to say, like, I can't really tell... father-in-law or brother-in-law because they'll tell the mom. There is one last comment I'll read that is almost, it looks like a bit of an update. Oh wow. I did not expect so many comments and so much support. As the post has a limit of word count, I was not able to add extra information. So I'll update you now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My husband is actually not the asshole. Did he write this? Are you okay? Extending? Extending? I made this post to show him that his mom is not to be trusted and put extra effort to make that experience better for us. He took it upon himself to tell her the due date two weeks after the actual one. It was his idea.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
And we agreed that he would tell her about the baby after the baby is born, not during labor. Thank you everyone for the support. I'm hoping this birth would be quiet and peaceful for me. I am positive my husband won't make the same mistake. I did forgive him for the last one. Just a bit salty still.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I don't either. I don't know. I mean, this person is somewhat active on Reddit. Obviously, there was a two-year span between the wedding drama and this post, but maybe we will get an additional update. I'm hoping so.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I want nothing but a smooth and easy pregnancy labor delivery, but I really would be making sure like aggressively that you and your husband are on the same page because I think like even where he was like, oh, you know, he went and gave her a fake date two weeks out. Why not a month? Why not two months?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Oh, my gosh. Make sure she's out of town during, you know, the week before and after your due date. You guys want to go on a cruise? We won this cruise.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Just crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I think she should get more paranoid to be honest. But so far, perfectly executed. Wish her well.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay. That is all I got for this episode. I hope you enjoyed the additional stories to make it a little longer.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I know. I didn't realize those were going to be there. Sometimes it's a surprise when I go digging. But we are headed over to record some Patreon now. So come on over. We're getting into more paranoia issues, wedding drama. some mother-in-law drama. There's one that's like really, really going to be good.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She's always been the more reserved, quiet type, while he's loud, extroverted, and sometimes a little over the top. We tolerated him, but recently, he crossed a serious line. A few weeks ago, my sister came to me in tears because her fiancé...
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
It's titled, I caught my husband having sex with his mistress in the car with our baby in the backseat.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
So we're getting into some tea. So come on over. But other than that, until next time.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
had pranked her in front of his friends by pretending to propose in an elaborate setup, only to laugh in her face and say, quote, just kidding, babe, you really thought I was serious? His friends all laughed while she stood there humiliated.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I love that you're just like in the zone.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Okay, 32 male. Yeah, prank. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
She didn't break up with him, which I think she should have, but she was heartbroken. He later gave her some half-hearted excuse about how he actually had a proposal planned soon, and this was just a joke gone wrong. Fast forward to this past weekend at our parents' house. We were having a big family dinner, and he was there, acting like nothing happened.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
I think what people need to do is like not like hey man can I get a picture no immediately just walk up and start dueling exactly duel me you have to like regardless maybe you beat me and I just walk away that's our interaction how iconic would that be yeah I would love that I love that. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
While chatting, someone asked when they were getting married, and before my sister could answer, he smirked and said, quote, Guess she'll just have to wait and see, huh? That was it for me. I smiled sweetly and said, quote, Oh, is this like how she had to wait for that hilarious fake proposal in front of all your friends? That was so funny, right? Let's all have a good laugh about it now.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
The table went dead silent. My sister looked mortified, but my parents looked pissed at him. He stammered something about it being a joke, but my dad straight up told him, That's not a joke. That's cruelty. He left shortly after, and now my sister is mad at me for embarrassing him and making things worse. I told her he embarrassed her first and deserved to be called out.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
My parents are backing me, but my sister says I ruined things for her. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Good sister. That's what I'm thinking. I feel like he really took this too far for it to be just a prank.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
How old are they? She's 28 and he's 32. Wow.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Are you really? Yeah. Okay. What's like one of your, I'm, I'm a hater on pranks. So you're going to really have to convince me of like, what's a good one you've done?
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
she's not standing up for herself the girl in the relationship and I'm happy your sister spoke up for her yeah it's honestly it's kind of crazy they didn't break up after that because of how elaborate it is right like if it was I don't know I feel like I feel like a proposal isn't something you should ever prank kind of like a divorce too yeah
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Like I've had a Reddit story where this guy or this woman was like, oh, I told my husband I wanted a divorce because all my friends were doing it with their partners and they just they got more attention. They got showered with gifts. And so she did a divorce prank. And it's like, I feel like this is kind of in the same boat of like one of those things. you probably shouldn't prank people on.
Two Hot Takes
209: Paranoid or Perfectly Executed? Ft. Dylan Efron
Today, I'm joined by the amazing Dylan Efron. I'm going to say some spoilers, but you might recognize Dylan from Traders. Skip 15 seconds. Winner of Traders. I mean, your season, this is the first and only Traders season I've watched. I love it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But was it necessarily, like, the best way to handle it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I always down to try something once. Yeah, why not? I love it. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for today. I've been binging your content and I have like this newfound sense of self. I just like, I'm obsessed. I actually talked about one of your podcasts the other day on this show and I was like, there's a study and I'm probably butchering it, but you know, Gemma talked about it and it was like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. I'm hoping she can, you know, go back and contact the artist and get another one. You know, even if it's maybe a print this time. Yeah. Who knows?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's probably one of them. It's probably like an original piece. So I'm like... I know. And I'm like, was he an idiot in all of this? Yeah. I go back and forth with these things that are like seemingly good intentions, but like end up being bad.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, did you hear the story about the room where the wife went on a vacation and she came home and the husband had painted the room green, but it wasn't the green she wanted? And she had intentionally told him in past occasions, like, please involve me in big decisions. And he painted the room green and it was not the green she liked. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it was like, well, you said forest green and I painted it forest green. But she wasn't happy because she wasn't involved and she wanted to pick the color and didn't like the color. But it's like, OK, well, was that nice or was that. was that mean? Was that bad? Like I, I struggle with these that are like seemingly nice gestures, but have bad consequences.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love this. I know I'm still doing my makeup as Gemma walks in. I'm like, I'm so sorry. It's raining in LA and the world is falling apart. We just don't know how to handle rain here.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. I feel like I could spiral on that too because it's like, why do people do nice things? Is it just because they're genuinely nice or do they want to feel nice for helping someone? And I'm like, is anyone really nice or do we all just have self-serving motives and that's why we do nice things? Morgan, we need to slow down. I know.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay. I'll be happy with that. I'll be happy with that. And scene. The top comment on this one. He was visibly sad? Him? The butcherer of the art? Not the asshole. No, babe. He's careless to the point of negligence and doesn't know how to use a brain. Or he did this maliciously to make you okay with his tendency to do shit like this. Bright red flags. "'I'm furious for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You felt attached to this artwork and kept it safe. You've been hunting for a way to display it, but only if you could find the perfect way to do so. There was no rush. The frame would speak to you when it was time. But he not only destroyed the piece of art you loved, but he ruined the experience around it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This speaks to his character, and if he doesn't understand why, this was an unspeakable offense. I would dump him yesterday. I could not live a life filled with so much disregard.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. And like, I have this like silly example. Like I was out of town recently and, you know, my fiance Justin was responsible for taking care of the horses.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
One of our horses gets two pills a day. He's got Cushing's. So he is a high needs little pony. And we have to hide his pills in these like horse treats that have like a pill pocket. And you have to like keep them soft because otherwise you can't put the pill in and like squish it around. And he left the canister open. He like opened it, grabbed one, and then didn't completely shut it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Men and women who are friends and they went in together and the women had different answers than the men. Yes, the male friendship study.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So when I got home, they're all crunchy. And it's like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. But like this, I'm like, was he an idiot? For sure. For sure. And like, I guess I need more context. I'm like, maybe there's a comment from OP. Maybe she says what else he's done.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But then I'm conflicted because she's like, this happens all the time. And she did say it happens. Like, she did say it happens, you know, occasionally or whatever. And, like, because of his context and how he grew up, like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And I'm like, I just, my things are so precious. Don't touch them. OP is very active on Reddit. This is definitely giving real account, real problem because I am scrolling to even find this post. More, has there been anything else about her boyfriend?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm trying to see if there's any contacts because like what, you know, there were mentions of he's done this before with things and maybe it doesn't even matter. But I'm like, If you've had a very clear conversation with him and he then did this, then I'd be like, OK, maybe that comment is a little more, you know, it's got more juice behind it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I think it's tough because people get so much bad advice from their friends. Yeah. Like they really do. I'm like, I almost I would probably trust neutral Internet people more. There's so many stories. I did like a patron episode and I had like a bunch of stories about cheating and the amount of people that were like, oh, you should stay with him. You should reconcile.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it's like, why are you giving her that advice? He cheated when she was postpartum.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Zero. For me personally, zero. Yeah. I went through a lot. I'm not seeing any comments from OP in regards to this post. Big fan of RuPaul's Drag Race, but nothing in reply to this post.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm just like, I don't know. I'm like, I want to know more. I want to know what else he's given away and torn up, but... I don't know. I'm going to see if there's any other comments that say, you know, anything different. Like, slow down, top comment.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Next comment down, it was such an unnecessary risk for him to take. Why wouldn't he just bring his idea to Crop It to OP first and at least give her the opportunity to approve it or not? Based on the fact that he's now sulking, I think he's just a dingus that's clueless about art and composition.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And like, it's like, okay, have a very clear conversation. Really hammer home. Please don't touch my stuff. Like, especially things like this without asking. Come to me. And if he still keeps doing this, then you have more of an answer that he doesn't care about your boundaries.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
They're a sign of love. I'd rather know what I can and can't do than try to be fucking psychic and stick my foot in it. Give me a boundary. I love a good boundary. As long as you're clear and can articulate it well to me, I love it. I don't want to play mind games. I would rather...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
just have good communication yeah that's all it is i feel like a boundary and people like get scared when you're like i'm gonna set a boundary it's like no it's just me like basically communicating my feelings yeah that's it it's saying i want to i want this to work and i want you to be able to love me and i want to be able to love you don't be scared of a boundary
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love that. And I think it's something that's really interesting just from articles I've read about how like therapy is kind of shifting and like how our generation, which is like basically the first generation to really get therapy, is kind of taking it. And there's an interesting article and I'll have to find it. But it was like, are we taking boundaries too far?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Are we not giving people chances of repair? And, you know, like, hey, you burned me once. Let's address it. Let's work on it versus like being quick to cut people off. And I think it's a really interesting concept. It really is. I'm like, I'm trying to think if I have a story now that will work off of that. But moving along to the next one, we'll see if there's any repair here.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It is coming from AITH, 10 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Kicking My Sister Out of My Baby Shower Because She Called Me Old and Selfish? My sister, female 31, and I, female 34, married around the same time seven years ago. She decided to have kids right away. My husband, male 35, and I decided to buy a house first, do a little traveling, and have enough savings before having kids.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My sister now has four kids. I'm currently pregnant with our baby and I've been dealing with hyperemesis gravidarum, HG, and it's been brutal. Luckily, my mother-in-law and my husband have been amazing to me and my boss allowed me to work from home until I give birth. My mom can't help me much because she helps out my sister's four kids a lot.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yesterday was my baby shower that my sister-in-law threw for me. People kept asking about how I was doing and I was talking about how HG is horrible. My sister decided to interrupt me and said, quote, honestly, this is what happens when you get pregnant when you are old. I have had four pregnancies and never had these issues.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I guess you should have thought about this before all of those trips and the we are not ready yet bullshit. Some of us made sacrifices in our 20s. I got furious. This wasn't the first time she's commented about my life, so I told her to get the fuck out. She grabbed my nieces and left. My mom said I was being hormonal and I should have just ignored her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My mom thinks my sister said that because she became a mom earlier than me and never enjoyed her life or even any alone time with her husband. My husband thinks I had every right to be upset because she was saying I deserve HG. Do I owe my sister an apology for kicking her out?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm like, okay, what's the math here? Sister's 31, got married seven years ago.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And, like, that, this is just screaming jealousy. And, like, maybe, you know, maybe their first was a surprise baby. And maybe they, you know, maybe they did want to try. But, like, those are still choices you made for your life. And, hey, even if you had one, you still chose to have three more after. Like, you can travel with one baby. It's hard to travel with four kids. Under the age of eight.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Under the age of, like, I don't know, yes, seven.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I wonder if that's what it is. But I know people, I'm like, I know there's obviously, you know, risk increases with age, like pregnancy risks and health risk and complications that increases with age, even male's age. Like I just saw a study that like
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The older a male gets, obviously we've talked about like sperm declining as males age, but the chances of like ADHD, autism like that is actually like coming from like male semen in this new study. They found that the older males get the higher chances. And I'm like, yeah, like we that's a risk all around. But like, that's still these people's choice to make.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And like, I just I just like Mike want to mic drop what you said, where it's like, you can't resent people for choices they made or whatever you said.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's insane. It's insane. And I hate how like her just being like, get out. Like you called me old. You called me selfish. You basically said I deserve to have this horrible health condition I'm experiencing. Get out. I hate how everyone is like making excuses for her then. Or like even the mom putting the blame on our writer. Oh, you're hormonal. So how are you meant to react to that?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Am I supposed to jump up and down and say, God damn it, you're right.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is crazy. I think it is truly jealousy projection. And I just... I can't imagine. Like, I just would never, ever say that to someone, even if I was jealous and struggling with feelings. Like... Your mom is already helping you with your four kids. Ask her if you can take a vacation. Go travel. Even if it's a weekend road trip, like you can still experience life.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like having kids isn't like this. Oh, you got to stay home. You can't do shit anymore. Like, no, you can still experience life. You just now get to enjoy it with four other little people you created.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You're going to fight them. Top comment. Nope. Not the asshole. Sis is clearly just jealous and can't handle it. Glad you have great in-laws to support you while you deal with a garbage sister and a mom that can't.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Always on my side in the moment, even if I'm wrong. And then when we go home and we're in private and we decompress, he'll be like, you. You were a little goofy. Yeah, but that's exactly how it should be. You gotta have someone that, like, takes your side. I... Again, I just saw something. Didn't you... Did you talk about it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And maybe we might have a story or two that gets into that today. But something else I came across is like sometimes men perceive like kindness as flirting, even in just like professional settings. Right. And it was really interesting. I don't know if that person had a study that they were talking about, but I was like, That's an interesting thought.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
How it's, like, really important for, like, couples to always, like, take sides in public or something?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's a bit embarrassing for you guys. It is. And then we have the rain and then we have the mudslides and the earthquakes.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Happy wife, happy life, you know, whatever gender neutral saying. Is there a gender neutral saying? Yeah, happy spouse, happy house. There we go. I love that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Happy spouse, happy house. I love that. That's my new one. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's so good. So good. Yeah. And I completely agree. I mean, the comments do go on to say, yeah, I can't imagine being a mom with a daughter having significant health issues during her pregnancy and not jumping in to support her. Both mom and sister suck. She's enabling your sister. She's probably always been entitled to.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, sister's definitely the younger little golden child. And that's the thing. It's like, you have two daughters. Just because one chose to have four kids doesn't mean you don't help the other because you're like... That other daughter, again, chose to have four kids and... You shouldn't have four kids if you can't handle four kids. And like, you should be able to help both daughters.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Come join my family. When you put it that way. There are some comments from OP just providing more insight. Apparently the sister constantly says she made a sacrifice so that they could be done having babies by the time she was 30.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. And OP also adds she is fully convinced this is an age related problem.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, and I'm like, I'm going to bring in some facts, okay? Anyone can get hyperemesis gravidarum, however you say it. It affects up to 10% of pregnant women. I'm scared. It's going to be me. I'm already nauseous every day.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Risk factors, having it in a previous pregnancy, being pregnant with twins or more, having a family history, being prone to motion sickness or migraines, having gestational trophoblastic disease, having untreated asthma, having a high saturated fat diet, being exposed to smoking. That is a big list of risk factors. And granted, this is one site, but I didn't hear age. Oh, I didn't hear it either.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I'm sure, you know, again, being older when you're pregnant, like, it does incur other risk. But Gisele Bundchen, she's like... She just had a baby, like, last week.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm glad she has a supportive in-law side and husband and little one will get here and hopefully she'll feel a lot better. And she has great in-laws.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. That's good to have good in-laws. Okay, moving along. You said something and it triggered my next story I have. You talked about fighting with your sister. So I think this one is going to be perfect for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
One of this week's partners is Skims. Skims has been my solution for just about every underwear or bra issue I've had in recent years. I need shapewear to make me feel good in a dress I have to wear to an event or party. I want a bra that's sexy but supportive and doesn't make me want to race home to take it off. And just my comfy everyday bras and loungewear. Skims for everything.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm wearing my Skims Fits Everybody Scoop bralette right now. And I mean, look at this. Look at the stretch I get out of this fabric. It is so comfy, lightweight, breathable. And this is a daily wear for me. I do have bigger boobs. I don't like not wearing bras. But I don't want underwear a lot of the times. And I just want to be comfy. This was my solution.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But no matter what you're looking for or what solution you need, Skims is going to have something for you. Shop Skims best intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and more at Skims.com and Skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
OK, story number three. This is coming from AITAH, 16 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Leaving My Sister's Wedding After She Made Me the Butt of a Family Joke? I, 25 female, have always been the responsible one in my family. I've helped raise my younger siblings, worked two jobs during college, and even financially supported my parents when they hit a rough patch.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I really had to think about this lately. I'm like, does he think I'm flirting with him? Because he's kind of flirting back and I was just being nice. It's a real thing. It's really interesting. But of course, as usual, I've done a terrible job introducing my guests today. I've said it, but it's Gemma Spag. Psychology of Your 20s is your podcast.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
My older sister, Rachel, 30 female, has always been the family favorite. She's outgoing, funny, and everyone gravitates towards her. She got married last weekend, and things hit the fan. For context, Rachel has always had this playful habit of roasting me at family gatherings.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It started with harmless jabs, like calling me Mom Junior because I'd remind everyone to take their meds or clean up after themselves. I laughed it off for years, but at some point it turned mean-spirited. She started calling me Miss Buzzkill, saying I don't know how to let loose because I preferred reading at home over clubbing. Flash forward to the wedding.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rachel asked me to give a toast as her maid of honor. I thought it was a huge honor, so I worked hard on a heartfelt speech about her finding love and the bond we share as sisters. But when it was Rachel's turn to speak, she gave this whole jokey speech about the woman I've always looked up to as a reminder of what not to be. Oh.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She then went on to jokingly compare me to a 1950s sitcom mom who probably schedules fun time. Everyone laughed, but I felt humiliated in front of 200 guests. Even my parents were cracking up. I wanted to keep it together, but after the speeches ended, I quietly excused myself to the bathroom to cry. When I got back, the jokes hadn't stopped.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
People at my table were still making comments about me being a buzzkill while pouring drinks. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my purse and left. Since the wedding, Rachel has been blowing up my phone, calling me dramatic and saying I ruined her big day by storming off. My parents are siding with her, saying it was just a joke and I need to loosen up.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I told them I'm done being the family punchline, and now everyone's calling me selfish for making the wedding about me. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, this person gave a heartfelt speech, put herself on the line, and then to just be met with... You suck. You're boring. You're a buzzkill. Yeah. You're introverted. I looked up to you as what not to do.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Why are you taking one of the biggest days, one of the happiest days to patronize, belittle and disrespect your sister?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That actually is very confusing because I've never, ever, ever heard a bride and groom give a speech except to be like, thank you. We love you all. Thank you so much for supporting us. I've never heard a speech dedicated to the maid of honor. It's like the maid of honor gives a speech dedicated to the couple or friend, sister, whatever.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And as you can tell, the girl's got the studies. She's got the facts. Do you have a psychology degree or like how did you get into this?
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's insane. I just like, if we didn't... If we didn't have multiple different kinds of people and diversity and all these things, like the world would not go around. If everyone was fun and carefree and didn't care, nothing would get done. Like we need these people. And how nice are these people? Hey, you know, you've had a lot of wine before you go to bed. Just have a little water. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I need those people in my life. Don't forget to take your meds.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Thanks. Like I'd rather not forget my meds and be messed up tomorrow. Like what? And I think it's sad because like by the sounds of this too, she did try to come back and give it another shot.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She kept it together during the speeches. She went to the bathroom to privately cry to not make it about her. and then came back and they were still joking about her how long was she in the bathroom couple minutes at least and you're still joking about her calling her a buzzkill as you pour your next drink
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You can tell when someone's been crying. Come on.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's hard. Like, I've been around people who have relationships like this with their sibling. Yeah. To the point where their sibling has been like, I genuinely don't know if my sister likes me. Like, genuinely. And it's not fun for anyone else to be around either. Like, you kind of start to feel you're like, is she kidding? Is she serious? Like, ooh, awkward. Ooh, that one was a little mean.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And it's just like, you just, I don't know. It's like, where does it come from? Is it jealousy? Like, again, is this like a root jealousy? We need that big feeling wheel.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Also, what did she do that was so dramatic? She quietly left. She quietly left.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Please. We'll get the paperwork signed right now. And just the whole, the fact the whole family. Multiple people in the family.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Absolutely not. Not the asshole. No, no, no, no, no. The top comment on this one, not the asshole. When someone disrespects you as a person, you remove yourself from their presence. You know, this wasn't just a joking little fun poke. This was downright making you the butt of an ongoing joke.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The fact that she would make her speech about you instead of the love of her life in front of her and her new husband is despicable. She can find someone else to humiliate for her jollies from here on out.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Preach that comment. 11k upvotes. Next comment down. I have to wonder what the husband's family thought about it. Instead of talking about her love for their son and her happiness to be spending her life with him, she decided to mock her sister for her hard work and taking care of everyone. I would be so disgusted if I heard someone mocking the responsible one.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Hopefully. I would hate it. Like, watching my brother marry someone who is just, like, cruel. Because I look at that and I'm like, she's cruel. She's not nice. Like, is this going to be your kid's biggest bully? Their mom? Like, that's how I would look at it. I just think some people excuse it. I just... I feel like it goes over their head. Or they do think it's a joke.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Or maybe that's their sense of humor, too. But... I think when you have someone who's now said like, I don't appreciate this. I want to be treated better. You got to knock it off.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's what I was going to say too. Why did she make this person her maid of honor? You don't like this person. You do not like your sister. Why did you make her your maid of honor? Because she's organized.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You don't bite the hand that feeds you. Yeah. And then, like, just, like, the fact that she's helped her parents at 25 to, like, float your parents when they're in a rough patch. These parents need to get their shit together and never say another thing to her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, we come across a lot of stories that relate to that. And it's a tough field, but it's like you're helping so many people. And it was amazing.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, my God. The fact the parents even are doubling down and being like, you're selfish. She helped you. She helped you. Where was the other daughter that's older? I'm over it. I hate them. I'm just so sad for this person.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is this a normal thing for like... I feel like sisters fight more than brothers. And I have, like, sister-brother dynamic, and we have a big age gap, so we fought a lot. But it seems like sisters that are close in age fight more than, like, other dynamics. And I don't know, like, do you grow out of that?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because I know it's talked about a lot, like, moms and daughters, you fight a lot, and then you get to a certain point in your 20s, and you're like... oh, I like my mom. Yeah. So I'm like, is there anything like why? Like we've seen now two sister dynamics that are just like not healthy. Like, is there anything?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, that's crazy. I really think that's what it is.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is there anything like and I think this comes up a lot in our Reddit stories, but it always seems like people try to pick on others in front of groups. And like, is there anything behind that? Because I'm like and like pranks, like pranking people like I fucking hate a prank.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm just like, is there, like, something psychologically where it makes them feel better to bring other people lower in front of others? Like, are they trying to gain the, like, approval of the group and they think that belittling someone else is going to do it? Like... Like what?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, that makes, and cyberbullying is the easiest way to do it. You're anonymous.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, that's amazing. You have like the most well-rounded background I think I've ever come across. I'm like the psychology, the Paul, Paul, I cannot talk today. The politics, the economics. I'm like, there's so much like it's like you can make a Venn diagram with all of those things and like the psychology of the ball. It's just I'm blown away.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, I can't. Bullying is something I will never, never understand. As someone that was severely bullied in high school to the point I was put in a little facility, I just cannot imagine ever designating time in my life to bullying others.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I do think it's another sense of addiction because it's like, as you said, like you get a bump on that like that insecurity that you have. And so you get that bump and it's like, every time you do it, you get that bump. And it's just like.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You know, like two of the most popular places to live, California and Florida, we get really hit with the weather. You guys should have rethought that when you were... I'm telling you, Minnesota's underrated, guys. I'll keep telling you all. Everyone, you know, it's going to be a climate refuge. Minnesota. Don't let them know. Now you're going to give it all away. I've got my house there.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, it would physically make me ill to ever like... Yeah. I just, I can't even wrap my head around it. Yeah. Crazy. There's no comments from OP on this one. Account has been suspended. But so, so, so many comments of support and just like, please cut her off. Like, you don't deserve this. Don't help your family anymore if they're going to act like this.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm hoping OP saw all of these comments and... I hope OP takes it a step further and sends this post to her family.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And there's been posts like that where they've sent it to their family and everyone is like, damn, I do suck.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So this could be one of them that gets people shaped up real quick.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Talkspace. I don't know what's in retrograde, but I have been having a really hard time with my mental health lately. We're just not equipped to deal with everything on our own. So if you have been thinking about trying therapy or getting back into it, try Talkspace.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Talkspace is all about providing convenient and affordable mental health care. It's in network with most insurance providers. Most insured members actually have a $0 copay. Zero dollars. And I know therapy can be hard to fit in your schedule and drive to an appointment and do this and do that. Talkspace is completely online.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I've loved online therapy in the past because I could take my appointments from my car, from a park, from the comfort of my bed. And they even have couples therapy if that's something you need. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash THT and enter promo code SPACE80. To get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show, that's Talkspace.com slash THT, promo code SPACE80. Okay, this next one for us. It is coming from AITH, four hours old. My sidekick Carrie over there found it. I'm going into this completely blind with you. I have no idea.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I haven't even read the title. I'm taking on Carrie for her word today, which is stressing me out, but I'm sure it's good. I'm sure it's good. Okay, this is titled, Am I the Asshole? My wife became emotionally abusive since giving birth. She topped it off by cheating. Now she is begging me to reconsider. That's it? Just triple whammy. No, no, no. We have more. I was like, oh, my God.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, it wasn't a tuba though. No. Trombones are cool. I thought it was cool. I like a trombone. I feel like trombones and I think saxophones are, they're more appreciated than the trombone, but trombones and French horns are really underappreciated.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I, 28 male, have been married to my wife, 27 female, for two years, together for four. 14 months ago, we had our first baby. She hasn't gone back to work, and I've been the sole breadwinner. Her choice. And since she gave birth, my wife has become a nightmare to deal with. She became irritable, angry at me for the smallest reasons, complains about everything. Everything is somehow my fault.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
All she does is hold the baby all day, even if he didn't need to be held, and scroll through her phone. Everything else is my responsibility. We haven't had sex for over a year and a half, and whenever I try to address it, she lashes out at me because even though I'm the only one who works and I do all of the housework... Yet I'm insensitive and don't care about her.
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205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I haven't brought up sex until three months postpartum even. I was basically her emotional punching bag. I tried to get her therapy. I tried to address her behavior. But all I get is more verbal abuse. I hated our marriage. I wanted to end it, but I was so scared at the idea of co-parenting. I was scared of the social backlash of ending a marriage with a child involved.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And also, a small part of me was hoping that somehow things would get well and back together. Well, last month, she made it a lot easier to end it. She told me she was going to a bar with her friends and she came back home at 4 a.m. drunk. As soon as she slept, I snooped through her phone and found texts between her and a random guy implying that she went to a hotel room with him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I was almost relieved when I saw them. I can finally walk away from this miserable marriage without any guilt or regret. The first thing I did was take a DNA test for the baby. He is mine. As soon as the results came back, I informed my wife that I'm aware of her infidelity and our marriage is over. She broke down crying. She begged me for my forgiveness.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She tried to use every excuse in the book, postpartum depression, past trauma, alcohol. She promised to make it up to me. She said she would do whatever I want, said that she doesn't want our family to break, but I wasn't having any of it. I have already hated this marriage, and the infidelity was just the nail in the coffin.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We still live together, and she has been begging me to reconsider, promising me everything under the sun. But I have no intention of reconsidering, and I told her she is not allowed to speak to me anymore. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I played a clarinet for a season and it was tough. Did you always get the splinters?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is so bonkers to me. I mean, they have a 14 month old baby now. I'm like trying to do the math. Got married two years ago, 14 month old baby.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. So I'm like, maybe marriage was because of the baby is kind of the math. I'm like, that math would make sense, right? What's 14 months plus nine months?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So maybe found out two years in a month. found out she was pregnant, then got married or were, I don't know. Math is a little interesting to me. But I'm like, there's such things as like persistent postpartum depression and that can linger well beyond, you know, normal postpartum depression. But the difference like here for me is like, he's been trying to get her help.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He's been trying to get her to go to therapy, trying to address her behavior. And all he's getting is more verbal abuse.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's not what he deserves. No one deserves that. You're trying to help and all you get is more of the terrorization, the degrading, the abuse. Unacceptable. Like, he's got to get out. He's got to get out. I don't care if there's a baby involved. Never, like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
ever in my head a reason to stay and like you will be better healthier happier as co-parents because this situation is brutal and I think like looking at their ages and I think this happens a lot in your 20s that sunken cost fallacy oh man yeah like you convince yourself to stay you convince yourself it'll get better or I've invested so much time I don't want to start over yeah we've got a kid together I don't
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, you can't light yourself on fire to keep other people warm. I'll say it again and again and again. And I think you're so right. Like seeing two parents happy and in love and healthy, like, There's so many studies on it that show kids who witness abuse and it changes their brain and not for the better.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, I joined a band to play the flute and be really cute. And then he goes, no, bitch, you're going to play the clarinet. I was like, I guess. It didn't last long.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I feel like we all get a little bonked up in life as kids, no matter how great our parents are or if they split and things like that. It's just like we all go through stuff, but this is a worse situation than... I hope, what comes out of a divorce. Like, he sounds like he's at least going to be a good dad.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. No. Top comment on this one. Postpartum is addressed by therapy, not with adultery. Yeah. Damn. Oh, my God. That's just my job right there. They go on to say, I'd honestly start separation proceedings. Just make sure you kept screenshots of her tax.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and that's another interesting thing. I'm like, maybe there's some... In my head, I'm, like, just trying to, like, weave through what she could be thinking. But I'm like, maybe, like, she had a traumatic birth and resents him because he got her pregnant and all this stuff. So it's like, she wants affection, but not from him because he gave her the ick, in a sense. Like, you know what I mean?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm like... I don't know what it is, but either way, it's like you're married. Those are vows you agreed to. Like if you're not happy and you don't want affection from him, why aren't you talking about it and addressing it and either going to therapy and working through it or seeking a divorce before cheating? Like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, man. Okay, well, you are going to be perfect for our theme today. I started out by looking for stories that were like, damn, 20s are rough. Because you know all about the psychology of your 20s. So I was like, okay, Gemma's going to know that. And it kind of turned into like,
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm taking my kid and I'm running. Yeah. Bye. Bye. There's only one comment from OP. Saying I already have the screenshots and then goes on to say cheating after denying me sex for over a year and a half and lashing out at me for even trying to address it is straight up vile. She couldn't care less about me when she did it. There's no coming back no matter what she does.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like now you're like the father to my children. It's so hot. I love it when like my fiance cries. I'm like, I feel so bad. I just want to hug him. But I'm like, hot. Yeah. Like seeing him hold a baby.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. So I don't know. Again, it kind of brings me back to like maybe they got married for the wrong reasons. And. We're trying to force it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a lot of like, because we've talked about this on an episode and people were like, I got married after two weeks and we're together 14 years. And I'm like, that is unreal. But I think you're the exception, not the rule.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We're just going to get into it. We're going to go right into this and then I'm going to ask my question. Okay. Yeah. Tell me. Essentially, it's like, oh my God, it just fell out of my head.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But essentially, it's like, is it normal to question, should you break up? And are you settling? And this next story will help us get into that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay. Okay. Another one of this week's partners is Bumble. Are you ready to date your way? Yeah, doing what makes you comfortable, not worrying if you're replying to their message too soon or being too excited or being too scared to show your funny side or maybe a hobby or niche you're really into. Because it doesn't seem likely you're going to find your person if you're not being you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And that's where Bumble comes in. Bumble wants everyone to date their way. They have so many different profile prompts that you can show off your personality, sense of humor, interests. You're really going to get the most out of your dating journey and make it what you want it to be.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You can even make sure you're aligning with matches on intentions, what they're really looking for, whether they want to just meet up and chat or they're looking for a long-term relationship. There's so many different features to show more of you. I met Justin, my fiance, on a dating app six years ago now. And I did it by putting myself out there, by being my most authentic self. And it paid off.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So no more wondering if that match likes Chapel Roan. Hopefully they're proudly displaying it on their profile. So come on, give it a shot and date your way on Bumble. This one is coming from Relationship Advice, two months old, titled, I accidentally saw a text on my 28 male girlfriend, 29 female computer saying that she feels she's out of my league.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I feel like I have to break up with her, question mark. Damn, that's nice. Sweet man. Turns out it needed a bit more work than I thought. I was on her MacBook and I went to send it to myself to work on the desktop windows so I can be more comfortable. So I opened messages, can't find my name in the recent convos and just type it in the search bar.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When you do that on a Mac, it turns out it'll show you the contact if you search the name and also show the most recent conversations where the search term, my name was mentioned. Right before I click my name, I notice a message from her sister that says, quote, I like OP a lot, but I feel like you are very much out of his league and he should try harder to be a better man for you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I open it up. Maybe shitty. I know. To which my girlfriend responded, I agree. I read their convo, nothing more. And she went on to say that she thinks I'm unambitious, eat like shit, She said that I was the one thing keeping her happy, though. This was said during a fight over her never being willing to visit me one hour away and leaving me to do all the traveling.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
but then saying she was going to fly six hours one way to visit her male friend for literally one day. She'd fly in at night, spend one day together, then fly back the following day. It turned into a fight because she was willing to fly 12 hours round trip and spend hundreds of dollars on a flight, and we both have no money because we're students, so it's a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
but yet wouldn't travel one hour away to visit me for an entire weekend. Just to clarify, she didn't end up going because I thought it was suspicious, and we got in a fight, and during and after the fight, the convo took place.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'd agree that she probably is out of my league, and she will most definitely make more money than me, but we both will have a doctoral degree, and I expect to make $120K through $130K, and she'll probably make $250K through $300K. So there is an income disparity, but it's not like I'm not making good money regardless.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't think I eat that bad, and I'm slim, so I don't think I'm completely out of touch there, but definitely not eating salmon and steak every night. There was no mistreatment on either end. I try to do nice things with and for her, within the means of my $0 student salary, and her parents like me. I just think she doesn't like me."
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I almost feel numb for asking, but I'd be a fool if I didn't break up with her, right?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
why are you with him like you're with him for your own benefit i think it's honestly selfish to be like he makes me happy but i don't respect him at all find someone you do respect then i'm literally at a loss for words yeah because i'm trying to figure her out and i'm like are you you just don't want to be alone that's yes that's it the bottom line is you don't want to be alone
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He offered, let's wind this back to realize how he even found these messages. He offered to do her work presentation for her so she could go on a sunset cruise.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's almost like she thinks and she does by agreeing with her sister by saying like, oh, yeah, like I am out of his league. Like, so you think you're greater than him? Like he's less than you. He's under your level. He's less than. That's kind of what you're applying. Yeah. But then I know it's like I'm rewatching How I Met Your Mother right now. And I don't I love that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know if you've seen it, but there's this episode where they talk about how there's always a settler. And in Marshall and Lily's relationship, Lily is settling and Marshall goes out of his way to prove like, no, I can get girls. No, like you're not settling. No. Yeah, I'm not. No. And it's just like, is that the case? Like, is do do it?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Does everyone think that do a lot of people think that? Like, I don't think I'm. Do you think that? No. I'm like, I don't think I'm settling. But I'm like, is it normal? Like a lot of people talk about that. And there's so many phrases like, oh, he really outkicked his coverage or she's out of his league or he's out of her league or damn. How did you end up with her?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I'm like, what? It's obviously a common thought for a lot of people because there's so many tropes about it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And that's where I'm at. I'm like, I'm better at Justin than, you know, I don't know, editing the podcast. And he's better at me than making music. Like we both, like everyone's going to have their strengths and weaknesses. And that's why like you create this partnership. And it's like, I hate cooking. Justin loves cooking. So I'm going to let him do that. Like I love vacuuming.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That man has not touched a vacuum since we've moved in together because that's my job and I love it. So I'm just like, I can't imagine thinking like I'm so much better than someone, but still being with them.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay, up first for us. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is 12 days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for Throwing Out a Piece of Art My Boyfriend Ruined? Two years ago, I saw an original watercolor piece that I liked and I contacted the artist and I bought it. When the piece arrived, I sought a frame for it, but I hadn't been able to find a frame for that size every time I went to the store.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know. I'm just like, there's so many good dudes out there. And it's like, Don't get stuck with someone who doesn't deserve your kindness. Yeah. She can find someone else. Yeah. Let her put that fish back. Yeah. Catch and release. Throw her back. That's funny. Top comment. Mate, put aside what she says for a second.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She's willing to go visit a male friend six hours away, but unwilling to visit you an hour away ever. That should have been the end right there. Yeah. And that's true. And that is a little suspicious. Like, I get why it caused a fight.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I think that's very, very telling in relationships and friendships. It's like, if you're the friend that's always willing to drive over to their house and pick them up, but yet you're heading back from dinner and they refuse to drop you off at your house even, like, That's not an equal relationship. Like that stuff drives me nuts. Like, yeah. And it's like, again, it goes back to that thing.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's like, why do you do nice things for people? Like it shouldn't be expected that it's reciprocated. But it's still like you want things to feel balanced. You want it to feel fair.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And we're all entitled to have friends of who we want, but where it's like, you won't ever take an hour trip to go visit your boyfriend, but you'll get on a plane. 12 hours.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
A lot of comments of support on this one. There's another one that says, OP, this is a scathing observation from her point of view about you and your relationship. If she thinks she will resent you in the future, then that means that the seeds of that resentment are already planted in her mind. She thinks that she won't be happy with you in the future due to your income.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I think she's still with you because she's not ready to have kids yet. When she thinks that she needs to start having kids will be the time when she'd break up with you to find a suitable partner to have kids with. So I think in other words, you are a placeholder and the man right now because you keep her happy. The question is, what does she do to make you happy?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And then they go on to like talk about like, again, that travel and that trip. And they go, this is very concerning. She's willing to buy a plane ticket. Guessing that's not cheap.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
go through the hassle of going through the airport, fondled by TSA, fly for 12 hours, on red eyes, both flights, just to see a friend, and she's not willing to make some minimal efforts to visit you, that should tell you where her priorities are.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This is the worst possible way for him to find out that she's cheating on him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
the shoe at least she hasn't done it recently since she didn't end up going on that trip she didn't end up going yeah i think honestly i think maybe she's not cheating but more so like if the opportunity arose she would i think it goes back to that like maybe she was friend zoned or maybe they were friends with benefits in the past and she's hoping there's a chance but you know she's willing to maintain at least a friendship to keep the door open
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
They were all too big or too small, so I just kept the piece in an envelope in my desk. I would sometimes look at it, remember I had to find a frame for it, but would later forget again. Work, family, and life leaves little time to devote to thinking about a frame for a painting, and I don't have any framing businesses near me, so that wasn't an option either.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, we're done. Oh, good job. Sorry, it wasn't a dramatic ending. Some may have been looking for, but I did bring up what I saw. She cried and said she didn't mean it, etc. And that was about it. Thanks for the people reminding me I'm a catch because it seems like I forgot that for a bit. but I'll probably wait a bit before dating again so I won't be able to see how true that is for a while.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Small edit, she didn't go on that 12-hour round-trip flight because I called her out. She cheated in the past, but not on me that I know of, and for the people saying I'm cooked or things like that for waiting this long, I had very important tests to take, so I didn't want the additional drama until they were over so it's not like I read it and was going to let it slide.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because people were calling him out to be like, he saw those texts 42 days ago and he still hasn't broken up with her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and the sister was the one that technically said, you're out of his league. And she just said, I agree. But still agreeing to that and then hammering home, he eats like shit. I wouldn't want kids even if I did want kids. It wouldn't be with him.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Bye. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. Bye. Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. If you're like me, you probably sign up for free trials and forget to cancel them. A lot. And then you're charged. And honestly, it's a lot easier to cancel your card and get new numbers than it is to go in and unsubscribe and figure out how to cancel. Well, that's where Rocket Money comes in.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. When I first started using Rocket Money, I found out I was paying for the same streaming service twice. And I'm sure a lot of you out there could be in the same boat as me.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And as someone that's prioritizing financial wellness and really good budgeting this year, Rocket Money's dashboard is so nice. I see my expenses across all of my accounts in one easy place. And my favorite feature, Rocket Money will even negotiate your bills lower for you. So no more taking your time to call those companies and ask for retention offers or threaten to quit.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Rocket Money will take care of it. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. Okay, I think we have time for this crazy one and then a little bit of a palate cleanser. Okay, let's do it. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Today, my boyfriend is dusting and comes out of the office showing me the painting on a spare frame he had been using for something else. I ask him if that frame is 9x12. He tells me it's 8x10, that he had to cut a piece of the artwork to make it fit.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. I have gone down the rabbit hole of this recently of like how many affairs actually start at work. Like we've had a couple of different stories that have like brought it up and the stats on it is insanely high. Insanely high. I'm just going to Google it so I don't like misquote it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
85% of affairs outside of marriage start at work. yeah no I believe it I fully believe it what 85% yeah no also we didn't talk about this like I've had no story to bring it up but I had one on Patreon that like again I brought up and I found out this stat that 1 in 10 men like this was a heterosexual study 1 in 10 men so 10% of men will cheat on their pregnant partner Rocked my world.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No, that makes me so sad. I never would have guessed that that stat was 10%. Like, never. I would have said 1 in 100.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm fine. So everyone, there's enough houses to go around. Come on, guys. But where are you coming from? All the way from... From Sydney, Australia. From down under. From down under.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like maybe one in a thousand. Like I never would have guessed that stat. Ten percent? There's a lot of studies coming out on it now. And this one psychologist has really like analyzed it and he wrote a book on it.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The psychologist is Robert Rodriguez. He is the author of What's Your Pregnant Man Thinking? Hmm. So apparently, according to him, 10% of fathers-to-be cheat on their partners during pregnancy.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I never just the stats around that. And so like 10 percent that 85 percent of affairs start at work. Like not saying all of your partners are going to cheat. Right. Not saying that. But of the affairs that people have outside of their marriage, 85 percent start at work. I want to know how many people don't cheat on their partners.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When I look at it, the piece went from a centralized composition to having the composition addented to the left side because he cut all the whole inch on the one side to save the artist's signature, which was on the extreme opposite end. For reference, imagine if you cut the Mona Lisa to the point where her head is no longer the center.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
According to a YouGov poll, around 63% of Americans who have been in monogamous relationships report that they have never cheated on their partner. meaning a majority of people don't cheat. Yeah, thank gosh. There's hope, guys.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Okay, so work wife. This is coming from True Off My Chest, four days old. My husband doesn't see how his work wife is trying to destroy our marriage. I, 31 female, am at my wit's end with my husband's, 32 male, co-worker Sarah, 30 female, and his complete inability to see what's happening. I'm not usually one for Reddit, but I need to know if I'm crazy here. Where do I even start?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Three years ago, my husband, Mark, started working with Sarah. At first, I tried to be welcoming. I invited her to our barbecues, included her in group outings, and genuinely tried to be friendly. Big mistake. She spent the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career. Oh, you're just a yoga instructor? How peaceful. To my cooking.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Quote, I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning. Ugh. bitch. The real problem is, is that Mark thinks she's just being funny. Last month, she literally threw away the anniversary mug I gave him because it clashed with the office aesthetic. When I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive and that quote, Sarah just has high standards for office decor.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Some greatest hits from Sarah. And these are in bullet points. She scheduled a mandatory work dinner on our anniversary. She convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would mean working with a different team. She posts daily photos of them together with hashtags like hashtag work power couple hashtag work spouse.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She tells everyone at their office that she, quote, takes better care of him than I do. She changed his coffee order and now tells everyone she trained him right. The worst part? My husband is completely blind to all of this. Yesterday, he actually told me about how Sarah said our new house, which we spent months searching for, was charming in a starter home kind of way.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He repeated this while laughing. I try to talk to him about it, but Sarah has convinced him I'm just insecure. She's managed to insert herself in every aspect of our lives. They text constantly, even on weekends. She knows his schedule better than I do. She rearranged his entire desk and office wardrobe because his style was too suburban husband. That's what he is.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Last week, I suggested marriage counseling. He looked genuinely confused. He, of course, went and talked to Sarah about it. And I found out from another coworker that she's been telling people that Mark and I are going through a rough patch and that she's just being a good friend by giving him someone to talk to. We weren't going through anything until she started this nonsense.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
The breaking point, I stopped by his office to surprise him with lunch. I know, I know, but it was his birthday, and Sarah was supposedly out sick. Guess who was there? Sarah. She had miraculously recovered and brought him a cake that said, To my work hubby, with a photo of them from the office holiday party. She saw me and said, Oh, Amy, you came too. How nice.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
When he notices I'm perplexed, he nonchalantly tells me that the painting was in an envelope anyways, and it's better that it's out so he can see it. I get mad because this is not the first time he has taken something of mine and given it away, offered it to someone, or just not asked and done whatever he wants with it. His mother does the same thing with his things at her house.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Mark, you didn't tell me your real wife was coming. I'm not crazy, right? This woman is trying to destroy my marriage while my husband stands there grinning like it's all some big joke. What do I do? Divorce seems extreme, but I'm running out of options here.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah. Are my feelings not more valuable to you than your co-worker? Yes. The fact that he didn't take a promotion to the point where it's actually starting to detriment his career. It's detrimenting his personal life. It's impacting all areas of this man's life. But he wanted to be around this woman so much that that he didn't take a promotion because it would mean not working with her.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And I'm like, a lot of people, I love that you bring up ultimatums because like a lot of people are like, ultimatums are bad. But I kind of struggle with like, okay, what's the difference between an ultimatum and just setting a firm boundary? And a choice. And it's like, it's not like she's not giving him a choice. It's literally, here's your choices.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Because as of right now, our relationship is suffering. I'm being constantly disrespected. And like, it's at, everything is at my expense.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, of course he doesn't want to set a boundary with her because he enjoys this attention. He enjoys this flirting at work.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
In their family, if you're not using something, anyone can do with it as they please. I explained to him, in my family, you don't do anything with other people's stuff. I have the tendency to ruminate on thoughts, so I try not to engage negative emotions because then I just can't let go of them, and I cycle, and I cycle through them, and it makes my life miserable.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I don't know maybe he'll find a new work wife I Sarah's gone like I know and I I also think like Sarah only wants what she can't have I'm like if these two did get divorced would Sarah even be interested I don't know I'm also curious about Sarah's relationship status like is she dating or is she literally trying to swoop in like if she's single that would scare me
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That is what's so boggling to me. It's like, you guys are married. I've had boyfriends that have dumped girlfriends of theirs because of how they treated me. Boyfriends.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Who like ended up cheating on me, but still found that their friend was more disrespectful to me. They found that more disrespectful than cheating. So they were willing, like, you know, I'm like that math. I'm like, they were willing to cut off female friends because of how they treated me. And her husband won't.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Top comment on this one. You have a husband problem. Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns. Remind him that he's married to you, not Sarah, so her opinions shouldn't matter when it comes to your marriage. Good luck, but be prepared for the worst.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Next comment down. Yeah, this guy isn't oblivious. He's complicit. He knows what's happening, and he likes the attention. He is happy to let his girlfriend disrespect his wife. That's literally what you were saying though.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I hate him. I might hate him more. Yeah. I don't like them both, but I really don't like him. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, guess what? Oh, my God. An update. We have an update.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Hi. I posted a few days ago. I really didn't expect my post to blow up. I got so overwhelmed by all the comments that I haven't responded to any. I want to address everyone who says it's fake. I understand why you think that, but this is my personal hell. I only listen to Reddit stories on TikTok, but when this reached its boiling point, I just needed a place to talk.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I made an account and tried to yell into the void. Well, the void turned out to be less empty than I thought. Now to why everyone is here. The update. She went through his phone. I'm so scared. I haven't read this. I'm so scared. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She was flirty. He wasn't really flirty back. They talked a lot, and he praised her frequently for her work ethic and intelligence.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And I have to devote a lot of energy to get me back to normal. Every time I looked at the framed painting, I felt a new wave of sadness, anger, and frustration ripple over me. So I took the frame down, took the painting out of it, ripped it into four pieces, and threw it in the garbage. When my boyfriend saw it, he was shocked and visibly hurt.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I didn't see anything about cheating. I checked his email. Nothing. I checked his work email. Nothing. I looked through our other devices. Nothing. I searched high and low for a second phone. Nothing. Everything I found was always dancing that line. Nothing was outright cheating. But here are the things I found that did hurt my feelings. Bullet point number one.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He has lunch with her and only her every day in the office. They don't really like anyone else, so they'll criticize others and say, let's talk more at lunch. They're serving XYZ today. Next, he'd say things like, quote, I'm sure if you were a wife, you would XYZ. He always kept it as a wife and not my wife, but it still upset me. She admitted to breaking the mug on purpose.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He didn't get upset with her, just said, yeah, the photo gifts are kind of corny. Ouch! Ouch! That sucks. There was, I think there was like a little edit on the bottom of the original post. Now that I'm peeking, I'm like, wait, mug. Edit to add, I should have told the mug story in its entirety. She accidentally broke the mug.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I noticed it was gone when I was visiting him one day and asked him about it. He said she accidentally knocked it over and then later he repeated a joke she made about how it didn't fit in with the office aesthetic. So she broke the mug. She broke it on purpose.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
She's miserable. Yeah. She's actually miserable.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
dick oh my god i confronted him i laid it all out and while he wasn't upset he did try to brush it off he said i was being sensitive and overreacting i told him if we didn't have a real conversation about this i would file for divorce that got his attention and he sat down with me He admitted that at first, he found it odd that Sarah was trying so hard.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He saw her trying hard with all the men in the office. The more attention she gave him, the more he enjoyed it. And the more he responded, the more attention she gave. Until she just had her sights on him. He knew some of the other men were envious, and he liked that too. He admitted that eventually he just got in too deep.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He said he knew it was wrong, but had gotten addicted to the attention and didn't want her to move on to another man. So he indulged her sometimes at my expense. He said it was just nice to have two women in the two major parts of his life, stating that he knew we'd rarely see one another, so what was the harm?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He reiterated that he never, ever physically cheated with her, but admitted it could be called an emotional affair.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It was painful. I won't hide that. I mean, really painful. Like I wasn't enough. I told him from this point on he needed to stop communicating with Sarah and ask to be transferred or switch jobs altogether. Now, folks, I mean it when I tell you this. He lost his shit.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
he began raising his voice saying things like he never cheated it was all above board and i couldn't control who he talked to at work he called me a narcissist a control freak he told me i had no idea how hard it was how much stress he had in the office and that his personal relationship with sarah helps a lot taking it away would just damage his mental health it got so bad that i started crying i couldn't take it anymore and i decided to leave
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I packed a small bag and called my mother-in-law. She's the only family I have, and I gave her a rundown of what was going on, and she offered her home to me. I'm staying here and just hoping my husband calms down so we can revisit this. I want to work it out. I love him more than anything. I will try harder to answer comments on this post, and I will definitely update if something new happens.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I get that his intentions were good, but he ruined a piece of art that was not his to begin with. Now it's awkward at home because I'm still fuming and he's sad. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
This has been really therapeutic and makes me feel less alone.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Literally. He's more worried about losing Sarah than losing you. Yeah. That's what that whole freak out just showed. And the way he just like instantly went to attacking her. You're a narcissist. You're this. You're this. You're like... Because I'm tired of being disrespected. You just admitted the problem. You said you're addicted to it. You agreed or admitted it was an emotional affair.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So why would I allow you to continue with an emotional affair?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I hope she's got some friends. I hope she's got like another village that like isn't just family. Yeah. And mother-in-law is on her side. We have a comment from just 23 hours ago that like mother-in-law is on my side, told me point blank, he is wrong. However, she doesn't want to get in the middle because she doesn't want to damage the relationship with either one of us.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm welcome as long as I want to stay there. As for my husband, he has tried to reach out. He's called, left messages, texted. I let him know I was safe and left it at that. He will message or call every few hours, but we haven't talked.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, and the thing is, it's like, You want a work wife. And I get it. Like, we spend half of our lives at work, right?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
You want a work wife and you want the real thing. But when your work wife is now hurting your real life, like... You can survive at a job without having an emotional affair with a coworker. It's called friends. Yeah, literally.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Oh, everyone thinks they're having an affair. That's why. Yeah. That's why other co-workers are reaching out to the wife. Yeah, for sure. They feel bad for her. They feel bad for the wife. That's why they're reaching out. They're being like, damn, if this was my husband, no way. No way in hell. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. And she really said, she's like, I want to work it out. I want to go to therapy. I want to try to fix this. I love him. But you also need to love yourself. And if he's not willing to work through this and if he's not willing to make steps to change this behavior, you got to go because he doesn't love you.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He loves himself more than he wants to have that cake and eat it too. And he's not willing to make a sacrifice. Air quotes there. I'm baffled.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I'm baffled, but I've kept you here long enough. I'm going to lighten the mood with one more because I find this amazing. Oh, yay. I'm so excited. Okay, this one is coming from Relationship Advice. It is titled, My 19 female boyfriend, 22 male, has a pirate ship bed and refuses to change it. Help. Yes, you read that correctly. My 22-year-old boyfriend had a replica of the black pearl as his bed.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We're both in college currently. I live in a dorm while my boyfriend has his own apartment. Out of respect for my roommate, I sleep over at my boyfriend's place instead of him sleeping in my bed since our dorm room isn't that big. I love the black pearl, and I think it's cute, but we need a real bed at this point.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I asked him if we could think about getting a new bed, but he said it would ruin the aesthetic of the room. I even offered to chip in, but he declined. We're not big people, but the twin-size mattress does not work. My boyfriend is 6'3 and hangs off of the mattress. That's my current situation at the moment. I'm headed over to the black pearl now. Wish me luck.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is it going to work if he refuses? Refuses, right? Like you guys move out, you get a house or an apartment or whatever together and he refuses to get rid of that bed. I don't know what you're going to do. I think at that point you have to hire like a carpenter and make like a custom one. An even bigger one. An even bigger one. That'd be a nice Valentine's Day present. I'm like, you could do that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
That's sweet. I'm like, there was... There was some thought. There was some thought behind it, but like... I would never... I don't know. And maybe this is like boy brain versus girlfriend because I tell my fiance this all the time. I'm like, that's kind of a boy brain thing you did. Exactly. Girl brain wouldn't do that.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
No. OP is in the comments. This is a picture of the bed. Apparently it was from Costco. It has it's a full boat. Like if you think about one of those baby boats that have oars on it, it's one of those, but with a bed frame in it. But then they retrofitted it. So it's got like a captain's wheel, like the ship's wheel at the front of the bed.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
So I'm like, you could get another one and just push them close together, but you're kind of separated.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Yeah, you're separated a little bit. Yeah, just take one of the walls out. But some people aren't cuddlers, and some people go so far as not sharing a bedroom with their partner because of snoring or whatever.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
We found. Okay, we find out more details. Yeah. His has a chest in the front and the back. It doesn't have the wheel.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He said his parents bought it for him at Costco when he was seven. He might have to let that go. I'm going to be honest.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I mean, I think it'd be so cute if he like want if he wants kids, if he saved it and then like his kids used it someday.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Love that. Like, love that. I'm not asking you to get rid of it forever. You know, if we have a guest room, we can put in the guest room. But I would love to cuddle with you. And you're 6'3". And twin beds are they're tiny.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I love the practical DIY solution. Yeah. And I mean, OP does say she likes it. She's like, I love the black pearl. It's cute. They sound really sweet. They'll figure it out. Yeah, they will. They'll figure it out. That is probably the only story in this that doesn't make you want to say, psych. Yeah. Because this episode was insane.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But I'm like, in my head, I would never think to cut art that someone purchased. I'm like, that is the art. Like, this isn't a watercolor she made. This is something that was purchased. And he thought enough to not cut the signature or... But then cut one side. He didn't even take a half inch from each side, which is what I would have done.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Thank you so much for coming on. I feel like I'm just like I just want to pick your brain forever. But I of course can't do that. So if other people are in the same boat, where can they listen? You have two amazing shows. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
hypnotize you with words I need that and then the psychology of your 20s and I feel like we go through some of these other dilemmas but we explain the psychology behind them I love love that you guys go listen your life will be changed I literally listened to one one clip of Gemma's earlier and I'm like Okay, I'm healed. So check her stuff out.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It will be easily linked in the description of the show notes on YouTube on the podcast side. So just one click. It'll be literally one click for you. But thank you so, so, so much for being here. Thanks for having me on this rainy LA day. Oh my gosh, I know we have to go out there. But thank you, guys. Be sure to check out Patreon. February has some amazing, amazing bonus stories.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
A bunch of free ones, too. There's two free ones that I just posted. So head on over there. But other than that, until next time, bye.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
He didn't even just fold it over or do something like that. Or where's the piece? Can we glue it? Can we not seam it together in a frame that fits?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Is that like... I guess, too, it seems like she's been very clear setting the boundary. Like, she said, hey, please don't touch my stuff. Please don't give my stuff away. And it's something he kind of continues to do. It sounds very...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
And there's so much here. I'm like, how clear had that conversation been in the past?
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Of setting that boundary where you're just like, yeah, please don't touch my stuff. And it's like, okay, well, is he interpreting that as any of your stuff? Like, hey, you bought the toaster. I can't touch the toaster.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
I know. I'm like, that felt very emotionally immature. Yeah. But I'm like, maybe that's how she processes it. And it's just like, But she sounds like she's still upset. I know. And it's also like it felt very pointed where it's like he saw the pieces ripped up.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
It's like it's like, you know, when you like are mad at your partner and you're just like, well, I'm going to put it in front of him so he knows I'm still mad or I'm going to like.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Like, to send the point home. It's like, she ripped it up and then, did you put it on top of the garbage so the next time he opened it, he would see it? And, like, even if you went to the garbage again and you had to throw something away, you picked out those pieces and put your new garbage in there and then reset it back on top? I have no idea, right? We have no idea. But I'm like...
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
Well, now as someone who, I mean, she said here, like I ruminate, I tend to cycle and cycle and I get that. I'm a ruminator through and through. And so for me, if I don't talk something out with my fiance, I'm like... okay, like I'm so unsettled. Like we just need to come to like a resolution in this and like, okay, if we need to take a break for an hour, that's cool.
Two Hot Takes
205: Please Say Psych! Ft. Jemma Sbeg
But like, we can't go days not addressing this. No. And so now she's on this part of like, she's now ruminating on how he feels sad and how the place doesn't feel like a happy home. And it's like, Was it worth it? Like, are you an asshole for throwing out a piece of art that your boyfriend ruined? No. It's your art. You can do what you want with it.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He knows I want marriage. We both agreed if we ever did get married, we would get a prenup. Whatever is his before the marriage would stay his. Whatever was mine would stay mine. And whatever was ours would be ours. But if he owns the house without me and something were to happen to our relationship, then he would have no legal obligation to pay me back. I need to know.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Am I wrong for thinking this way? I've never asked him for anything. I pay my share to live there and I pay my own bills. I buy all of the groceries for the house with little to no help from him. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, and take care of his dog 75% of the time, again, with little to no help from him. I work full-time and recently went back to school and earned a master's degree.
Two Hot Takes
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I've never asked him for anything. I just don't understand why he would expect me to dish out money on house renovations that legally don't belong to me. If I would go through with funding a renovation, is there a way around this where he would be obligated to pay me back if the relationship would go south? Any advice would be helpful.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Unreal. I know. I'm like, I can't tell people. Check out the local massage parlors in your area. Because sometimes they have really good deal. Yeah. If they do the thing where you stay clothed.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It's so needed. I've bought like 10 of these things and I can't stop. There's so many different textures, objects.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He said... after they had plans to buy a house together yeah we're building a life together let's go in 50 50 60 40 whatever it is together on a house you know what i'm gonna buy my mom's place with or without you don't care don't care what you want yeah this is someone who quite literally in his head Doesn't like I don't care what you want. I'm going to do what I want regardless.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
That's not a partner. You're already like on such different wavelengths. And then for him to be like, well, you're going to benefit from the updated kitchen. yeah, while I live here and use it, but if we break up, no. If you have a house and your house costs 150K, right? And you put 50K into it to update a kitchen and a bathroom, you're not just at 200K. Your house might be worth 400K.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Is he going to split that equity when he sells? Or is he going to buy her out? Is this going to be a loan with interest? It doesn't sound like he's open to that being the case. Go take out a home equity line of credit, my guy. Go put this against the value of the home you own. That's fair. You're the one that's going to benefit from this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Okay, if she wants a fancy Japanese soaking tub, maybe she can contribute to that.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
She's the only one using the tub. That's something that might make sense. But a deck and a sliding door, that... this is not how this works like she's paying the mortgage she's contributing so much and that's that's that's even generous in my eyes to be honest that's more than enough and also at the same time like she's taking care of the groceries the cooking the dog your dog like
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
and all the while like this is paying off your mortgage it's only in you and your mom's name like you aren't married like and if they do get married they'll get a prenup the house will be his regardless of how long they're together which again is fair if that's you know what it is but she's not investing money then but she's never wanted to live here
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Well, and it's like, would he be putting any into the renovation? Because, like, $150,000 to $200,000, like... That's a lot. That sounds like the entire renovation.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
So, like... It does. What is he contributing? Yeah. And I recognize, like, this is a gift. Like, being able to just buy out your mom's house for paying the rest of the mortgage, like, that is a gift. But also, at the end of the day, like, if the mom kept the house forever, that would have been his inheritance kind of regardless. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It's almost like he just looks at her like a little sugar mama, like this is someone that just subsidizes the life I want to have and live. Yeah. And maybe he could have done it on his own and taken over the mortgage. And that's cool. I think you should let him. I think you should let him.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, no, take the trash out. Take it out. Take it out. No comments from OP, but this is just, you know, 23 hours old, so we'll keep our eyes peeled. Very active previously in the Too Hot Takes subreddit.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Check them out. Check them out. That has been good. We're going to Costco after this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, there's a post. Someone posted this on our subreddit and goes, in honor of the coconut story, I present to you the Jolly Rancher story. So if you do want to learn about the Jolly Rancher story, it is on Patreon. I read it with my mom and my little brother. And it got quite the reaction. But I'm warning you, I did that one and I did the Doritos story on Patreon.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
You guys couldn't handle the coconut story here, really. Some of you can. Some of you cannot. I posted a picture of my Instagram the other day with like a coconut and people were like, I'm traumatized. Trigger warning. And I'm like, it's OK. It's just it's a drink. I loved it. But it had a big hole in it. And I think people were a little scarred.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And so OP did comment on that, though, and goes, you are right. I didn't think something could be this bad. This is way worse than the coconut story. Wow. So don't worry. Not reading Jolly Rancher today.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
150 hot dog. 150 hot dog and drink. I know the CEO I think is retiring too. So get your $150 hot dog and drink combo while you can. He said if someone changes the price, he'll shoot them.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Let's go. I love that. Oh, OK. Yay. Yeah, we out here. We out here, fam. Making our mark on the world. Helping people one post at a time.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
and people did help op top comment on this post this is not the guy for you five years and he buys a house against what you wanted that's not what a guy who loves you wants to make you happy and wants to build a life with you does he's not forging a partnership with you he's just with you that's it that's a really good way to put it You aren't the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Why would you put your own money into something you have zero equity in? He's the asshole for expecting you to pay for the renovations. Agree. You sound like a pot of money to him, not a partner to share life with.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And that follows like she's paying for the house. And you're the one that's going to profit off continued sales of iced tea, not me. Well, then, no, I'm not contributing.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
hmm guys tea machine's already good enough too no op i want an update on this though so if you're out there listening come back let us know but moving along yeah i'm so interested to see if she responds to you i'm sure she will i'm so curious also i forgot to call and make my dirt order your dirt order i was supposed to call and give dirt huh This episode is brought to you by Smalls.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
If you're anything like me, you want to give the cat in your life the best food that money can buy. And Smalls is the answer for that. My lovely assistant Carrie over here got all of the Smalls cat food. What'd the cats think about it?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Smalls Cat Food is protein-packed and made with preservative-free ingredients you'd find in your fridge and delivered right to your door. Give your cat the food they deserve. Head to Smalls.com and use code THT at checkout for 50% off your first order, plus free shipping. Okay. Homeowner things. It's a homeowner thing. But I wouldn't charge you for my dirt. Right, right.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, you could build sand castles if you want. I won't charge you.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Trigger warning, though, on this next one, friends. It does contain talks of abusive parents. I'm not sure exactly what we're getting into, but could maybe include essay. So if you can't handle that today, please skip ahead. Markers will be in the description. Okay, so this next one, also coming from our Too Hot Takes subreddit.
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208: Take the Trash Out
It is titled, My 22 male girlfriend, 23 female, is secretly visiting my abusive parents with our son, 3 male, and doesn't understand why this upset me. We had a huge fight, and I don't know what to do now. I didn't have an easy time growing up. My childhood was so fucked up that I sort of just put it all in a mental box and left it at that.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Needless to say, I left my parents as soon as I could and then went no contact and haven't seen them since. There's several reasons I went no contact, and my girlfriend seemed understanding enough when I told her that I didn't even want to tell my parents about their grandson. I don't want my son around these people." I don't want my girlfriend around these people.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And above all, I would never leave any child alone around these people. My girlfriend doesn't know about what exactly my father did to me and my sister, but I also feel like she doesn't have to know in order to respect my wishes. Yesterday, my sister texted me a picture of our parents' dog. In the background was my son's shoes.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Our mother uploaded it on Facebook, where I have them blocked, but my sister recognized the shoes, though mainly was concerned about them even having a kid over. My girlfriend and I both work, she only part-time, but we have always had someone to watch our child, either my sister or my girlfriend's family, so it's not like she has had to bring him there to have someone watch him.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
This was a deliberate decision that she should have made with me. I talked to my son about it, and turns out he's been there several times unsupervised, alone with my father. Apparently, nothing happened, but I was understandably angry and confronted my girlfriend as soon as she was back home, which of course led to a huge fight.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
She left crying and went to her parents' house, and later her mother came to pick up my son, which I refused, which led to a fight with her mom too. My girlfriend texted me asking to talk later today, and I know I can't keep my son from her. I also don't want to, but I don't want to go into our conversation unprepared, so any advice is welcome.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I also feel betrayed and still very angry, and I'm honestly ready to break up over this. But my son is very upset and anxious because he heard our fight, and I'm just at a complete loss, and I don't know how to handle this. Please help.
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vibe with them like i think it's pretty obvious that that it was a serious thing i don't like i just can't believe she would do that behind his back and not even talk to him about it that's insane yeah this is a baby this is a three-year-old who we don't even know how long he's been going over there yeah communication levels aren't that great at three if something happened would he even be able to know it's bad or communicate with you that it happened
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This is insane. This lady is straight garbage. To not talk with your partner. One, how do they get in communication? Yeah. How did you even feel comfortable to leave your kid alone over there? Your partner has said to you, I don't have a relationship with my parents. I'm no contact with them. I have them blocked everywhere. What happened when I was a kid was terrible. End of story, lady.
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Deliberately going against probably the very core of your partner. Yeah. At the expense of your child. Like OP was like, my dad shouldn't even be around kids. Like after what he did to me and my sister. Yeah. What the dude? Trash. Throw away.
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And people are going to be like, oh, give her a chance. She's lying and putting her kid at risk. get any updates with this one like i'm gonna not sleep let's get into the comments and let's see what we got here so top comment was deleted it was removed by a moderator
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OP did respond to it, though, so I'm just going to read what OP says, even though I don't know what the top comment at the time was. I panicked when he said it was something he wasn't supposed to say. She apparently told him it was a surprise, and that's why he had to say he was at her parents.
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So she instructed the three-year-old kid to lie about where he was, and... What does she gain out of this? I'm very confused about why she's invested in even doing this. Are they giving her money? Genuinely, are they giving her money? Are they paying her? I don't understand.
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OP goes on to say, I wouldn't have been this upset had she cheated on me, but she involved him, made him keep a secret and put him at risk. And the more I've been thinking about this, the more I feel like I just can't trust her anymore, especially if something did happen and he just doesn't realize and I haven't asked the right questions or he doesn't have the vocabulary.
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I'm blown away. I'm absolutely blown away. And we have a lot of comments from OP. There's just there's so many. So I will be sure to put the links in the description. So if you really want to go deeper than what I can get into, they're there. Someone does comment, Yeah. And OP goes, even without the whole story, I always felt like she knew enough about my childhood. I can understand it too.
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Her mother also told me not to hold grudges, and my father apparently has issues with his liver. Wonder where that's coming from. So I should just take the first step and forgive them. But this is my decision, and she kept it a secret for months and essentially told my son to lie to me. I was so angry. I didn't even think about any other reason why she would leave him there. But you're right.
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Okay, you ready? This first one is coming from r slash relationship advice. It's two hours old. Wow, she did it again. It is titled, Am I overreacting? We, 29 female and 27 male, bought a house. But when he posted on social media, he made it seem like he bought it alone.
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I mean, I just kind of assumed that she would visit them to rebuild that relationship because we have babysitters.
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Yeah, so there are a couple more comments and we do end up getting an update.
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Update is coming five days after the original post. And this is really, really recent. The original post is only 11 days old. But a lot of people are trying to be like, you need to address custody. You need to address supervised visitations. You need to really get after this. Mm-hmm. A lot of people are also like, do you have documents of the abuse from your parents?
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Yeah, my sister and I have no proof of what happened. And she wanted to get financial aid because of her PTSD because it makes it harder for her to work. But her lawyer said it would be hard to get anyone to believe her slash us. She gave up on that eventually. Someone also points out this fact that she taught your son not to trust you.
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That would be a reason to drag her us to court for a custody agreement where she also has to sign that she will never go to your parents behind your back with him.
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Like, fall on the sword a little bit, lady. Yeah. Like, you would rather... Again, just begs the question, why and for what? Because you would rather lose your partner and put your child at risk of lifelong damage, PTSD. For what? What?
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You're being a neglectful, terrible... Okay, that might... No, no. She is being a bad parent.
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I'm like, some people might come for me on that. But like, no, honestly, maybe that's a hot... Maybe it's a hot take for some people. Like, give her... Oh, she's not that bad. Give her the benefit. No. Like, she knows. And now she especially knows. But let's see if she apologizes in this update. Let's see what we get into here. First of all, thank you for all the comments and input.
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I didn't feel like I could even think when I made my initial post, so it was good getting different perspectives. This will be a long post. I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. I did write that my girlfriend and I would talk the same day I posted, but we didn't because I needed to sort myself out, and I think she did too.
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She's been avoiding me ever since and requested we talk at her parents' place, but I didn't want that, so we didn't get to talk until yesterday while my son was at my sister's. Apparently, in September last year, my mother reached out to my girlfriend on Facebook, asking how me and my son were doing. My mother is a very intelligent woman, but highly manipulative.
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She convinced my girlfriend to visit them because my father is ill. My girlfriend said, She didn't tell me because she knew I'd say no, and she wanted to see what kind of people my parents were. She brought our son, but didn't leave him alone at first. But their visits got fairly regular, and she became comfortable with leaving him with my parents. He seemed fine, even seemed to like it there.
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I, 29 female, and my partner, 27 male, bought a house in October 2024. I don't post on social media, but he does. He posted the house we bought, but there was no mention and no pictures with even a slight image of me. It seemed as though he was trying to give off the impression that he bought it himself for himself.
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So she didn't feel like he was in danger. The first time she left my son fully alone was when she went Christmas shopping. I think from what I told her about my childhood home, she expected a house of horrors, but according to her, the place was clean and fixed up, the dog was healthy, and my parents were nice. The thing is that she knew something happened to my sister.
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I never told her what happened to me, which I now see I probably should have done. She doesn't see predators everywhere like I do, and when my son didn't report anything negative, she saw no issue taking him and leaving him there. It's pretty clear that she doesn't know anything about abuse and what it can look like.
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I don't understand how she could think she'd be able to spot the signs with this little knowledge. My father has been in contact with children most of my life, and while I don't know if he's done anything to them, my sister always said he knew how to make children feel at ease. Both my parents
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are very methodical and calculating so I don't blame her for believing them but I blame her for not discussing this with me. She went to visit them after talking to my mother for a few days. Meanwhile, I've lived with them there for 17 years and somehow she thought she knew better than me.
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Even when I told her some details about my childhood, she still tried to push supervised visits, saying my father was ill and my son had a right to meet his grandparents, which I don't agree with at all. The thought of children being around those people makes me sick, but she seems reluctant to agree to officially limit their visitation rights.
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I'm like, okay, here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm not ready. Actually, I'm not ready. I was stressed about these.
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I'd need her agreement, however, unless I want a court case. I also tried to explain why this felt like a betrayal. Because this is not just about her putting my son in danger. It's also about her going behind my back for months.
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six months seven months oh yeah seven months seven months like that's not just like okay i tried it for a month and okay now it's be yeah seven months Insane. What else would she be capable of? Then she told my son to keep the visits a secret, which is exactly what abusers say too.
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She did apologize, saying she made an honest mistake and feels like I'm blowing this out of proportion and that her parents think so too. Guess what? Doesn't fucking matter what her parents think.
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Besides, our son is fine, and I shouldn't have raised my voice at her mother and should be more grateful for what her parents have done for me and us over the years. Which I am. I owe them, sure, but that doesn't mean they can just overrule my parenting decisions or get so involved.
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I feel like neither her nor her parents trust me or take me seriously, and it's so frustrating when the mother of your son is pretty much actively working against you. Again, I know it's my fault for not telling her everything, but I never thought she would do something like that. My past never really affected me much anyways.
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I never felt like there was a reason for her to know all of the details. Honestly, I don't know if anything is resolved. I know why she made the choices she made, but I don't feel like she understands why I was and still am upset. She left after bringing up her mother because I got angry, and I know I shouldn't have, but I reveal something so big and just still don't get taken seriously?
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I want us to work, and she agreed that it would take a lot of work to get back to us before all of this, which I'm not sure is even possible." I apparently deeply upset her and scared our son. True, I never wanted us to fight in front of him like that either. And I angered her family. I think for me emotionally, all feelings for her vanished the moment I found out.
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Everyone in the comments was congratulating him, which is nice, but it kind of hurt my feelings because it's our house with both of our names. And if anything, not that it matters, and I would never throw it in his face, but I paid the $13,000 deposit on this house by myself. And I know that probably sounds petty, but my feelings are hurt.
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So that's kind of where I'm at now. I wish we could make it work for his sake, but I don't want him to grow up with dysfunctional parents or with his parents fighting every day. So if this doesn't work out, I'll need to get a lawyer. I'm willing to put in the work needed for us to stay together, but I've been doing a lot of thinking. We were so young when we started dating and had our son.
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I'm not sure if I ever thought about us staying together forever. I only stayed because I was living with them, and then I stayed because I didn't want to be a shitty teen dad, abandoning my son and the girl I loved. Because I really did love her, I think. Also, I am partially responsible for her being pregnant in the first place, before he was even born.
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As for my son, I have talked a lot with him these past few days. I had taught him about touch and what's okay and what isn't, so I just hope it's true that nothing happened. He has also apparently not seen anything inappropriate. Our fight got to him though and he knows I was sad.
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He knows his mom is sad too and I hope him and I talked it out enough and that my girlfriend gets to talk about it with him too. We might just sit him down or something. I'll need to talk to her about that.
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Like, yeah, there's still like a brush off versus a true, genuine. I'm sorry. I really fucked up. I was wrong.
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No, and I think it's really... I guess, like, it's kind of naive for her, too, to be like, well, you know, we went over there a couple times, and the first few times he said he had fun. Yeah. Of course they're going to make him feel safe and fun at first.
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Likely not. But if you look at the stats of, like, children that... And this is... I'm sorry, you guys. This is a little bit of a darker story, but I do think it's important to address. Like, if you do look at the stats of people that hurt kids...
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He doesn't usually post to me, and I've never fussed about it, but the house post kind of stung a little bit. Do I accept that it's just social media and not that big of a deal?
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also something to take from this story it absolutely needs to be had like this is why my brother and his wife have always talked with their kids like very openly about body parts they've never like yeah given body parts like names like oh you're cookie or things like that because that can actually hurt your kids in making sure they're safe against these kind of things yeah and obviously you have it in age-appropriate ways right yeah
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But I'm also wondering, because OP does have a comment here, giving a little bit more detail about what the girlfriend knew. Because people are being like, she didn't know. You never told her. You never, like, and it's like, but he did. So he does provide that context and he goes, her and I have talked about my childhood prior to my first post.
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She knows enough about my living conditions to know it was unsafe for any child. She knows my father is a violent alcoholic and she knows a lot about the crazy shit my mother pulled over the years. She knows my sister has a PTSD diagnosis and she knows my father touched her. This is everything she knew. And I honestly think that should have been enough. Her parents also know about most of this.
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Yeah. And I'm wondering if because she thinks she has a son, if it's different.
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Like, would you leave a three-year-old, your little daughter there? And if the answer for that is no, you shouldn't leave a little boy there either. Because sick, twisted, despicable people... A lot of times don't give a fuck.
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No. And I don't know if you can trust her. I think, unfortunately, you do need to get... Even if she said it. I think you need to get a custody agreement in place. I think you need to get a lawyer. I think... I think this kid needs to be protected from these people. And his dad is only one person. Like, he's got another parent.
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And unfortunately, if mom wants to take him over there, like, when they break up, she could do that if he doesn't get something in place.
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So time to lawyer up. I mean, this little three-year-old, this little baby. I know. And if mom is going to be insane, garbage... Just get it in writing.
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But there's so many stories like I think there's are those tough ones to read. Yeah. Like, does everyone want to hear them? No. But like if it opens people's eyes and like makes sure people are like safer with their kids or, you know, like they're important conversations to have sometimes.
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For sure. Okay, moving on to this next one. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Setting Limits to Do Some of the Housework Slash Chores When I've Just Been Diagnosed with Cancer? Oh, my God. OK. I am a 41 year old female married to a 48 year old male. We've been married for almost 13 years and have three kids, 10, nine with autism and four.
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We have settled in a typical gender roles like I cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop weekly and take care of the kids, like taking them to all their appointments, picking them up from school if they are sick and taking the day off of work if they are sick. He does the outside stuff, trash, landscaping, and shoveling, for example.
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Over time, though, he is doing less of the outside stuff, and I find myself taking over those roles, taking out the recycling or bringing in the bins, because it will just pile up or stay outside for a week. Or he has outsourced them, landscaper, so he no longer does these chores while I still do all of my wifely duties.
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Well, and it's also the fact that he doesn't post her on social media at other times either. So he just wants to look like he's not in a relationship. And now he's this well-established guy that bought a house.
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My husband's main responsibility in the morning is that he gets the kids ready and sends them to school on the bus. He then goes downstairs to work from home. When I come home from my full-time job, the house is a disaster from the morning routine. I asked him to at least do dishes, but he said he doesn't have time.
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So I have to clean the house all while I get the kids off the bus in the afternoon. This has been the normal routine for the past year. I also have a part-time job on the weekends as well, five hours each day. It's great for extra money and has afforded us a down payment for our house and several trips to Disney. He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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I know right now I am able to do things, but I will be starting chemotherapy soon, end of February, beginning of March, and I am not sure how I will feel. I am going to take time out from both jobs because of this. My husband is under the assumption that I will be sick for a few days where he has to do everything, but I will be able to continue doing my routine once I am feeling better.
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I have already told him, don't expect it, and I will do what I can, but he is not convinced. I am willing to continue to do some of the chores, but not everything that I've been doing. Am I the asshole for expecting my husband to pick up the slack while I'm going through cancer?
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Throw them away. Throw them away. Take the trash out. Throw them away. Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce. Okay. Hear me out for a second, everyone. Let's take cancer out of this. OK. Yeah. Take the cancer out.
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This woman has a full time job and a part time job. Yes. He works from home, which I'm sorry, like the freedom and like the stuff you can do when you work from home. Absolutely. It's very different than going in full time hours to an office. He gets the kids up in the morning. They create utter chaos. He can't contain them.
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He probably leaves them to their own devices and says, get yourself ready and then let's get you on the bus. And he can't even do the dishes while he works from home because he doesn't have time. You still get a lunch break, my good sir. Put a couple dishes in the dishwasher. Like, why are you letting your kids run amok? I'm sure you haven't started work yet. You're getting them ready.
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Like, be a more present parent. Yeah. He hates when I work because he has to watch the kids by himself. Okay. You wanted to be a parent, no? You signed up for three kids too, yeah? Mm-hmm. What?
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Well, and also the fact that, like, she was the one that put down the 13K deposit, which, like... that percent down, that money down, that's the reason you get the house. It's not because you can make the payments because this is why so many people are stuck renting.
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No, he can't do it now. Like, this is insane to me. I'm I'm sitting here and I'm just like dumbstruck. I'm truly dumbstruck that this man is like, oh, well, it's only going to be a couple of days. If I got cancer and my partner isn't like you're not doing anything. What can I do? How can I help you? How can I make sure you're feeling good? Like.
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No, I would not be able to stay in a relationship like this. And I think that illness like is really going to highlight this for her. It's hilarious to me. that people will act like this in relationships because, like, you realize she's not going to stick around forever. No one...
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No one, I'm going to put faith in this, that there's not anyone out there that will put up with such disrespect, unequal treatment, XYZ, et cetera, forever. She's going to realize eventually there's going to be a straw that breaks the camel's back. You get divorced. You realize you're going to have to do 100% of that 50%, right?
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Like when you get divorced, like you're going to have to take care of the kids without her. You're going to have to cook. You're going to have to clean your own house. Yeah. I think he's gotten too comfortable and I think he needs to be rocked out of the boat.
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Because at the end of the day, if you don't make this work and if you don't start being a more equal partner, you're going to have to be responsible for 100% of your shit.
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You don't even like watching your kids when your wife works a couple extra hours.
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And then he can't even be bothered to do dishes. Yeah. Can't even be bothered to help cook a meal. You're at home. You got a head start. Start boiling the water, bitch. What are you doing?
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It's like this scam of like, okay, you need so much down and then you have to make the mortgage payment, which is like, okay, that's hard to save and get to. So it's like, She's not even being like, this isn't even a fair setup because she put all the money down.
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I have a lot of faith in them. Okay. This one, big yellow box. Wait, your fucking husband refuses to do more after your cancer diagnosis? All caps. He wasn't pulling his own weight before the diagnosis. And now he's expecting you to do everything while you get better from cancer? Oh, hell fucking no. This is cause for divorce. Also, men don't help around the house, they do their half.
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Do not try to keep the house clean, do not grocery shop, or do a load of laundry in between vomiting. Men are more likely to leave a woman when they're sick, so be prepared for some truly asshole-ish behavior on his part. Ignore the incels here, who will drop by and pretend otherwise. I hurt for you, OP.
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Come here. You can just have a celebrity guest take. Come on over.
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Walk behind over here. Here's the mic. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep quiet back there.
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I love you too. Bye, everybody. I told you you wouldn't like to stay.
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Okay, thanks, Dad, for the brief interruption. Huge celebrity appearance. Yeah, celeb appearance. I do just want to give a stat, though. So there is a stat here because I didn't want to just, like, I want to make sure people have the knowledge of that top comment and, like, what they actually said. So there is a study from 2009, so a couple years old. Maybe things have gone better or worse.
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I know. You guys, buckle up. I feel like some of the titles alone are just like very, what? So I feel like we are all going to be a bit enraged today. And it's okay. You know?
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I don't know. Yeah. Study revealed that 21% of seriously ill women were divorced compared to only 3% of seriously ill men.
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And the researchers did suggest that men may struggle with the rapid shift to caregiver roles and may not be as adept at maintaining the home and family, while women are better at assuming those burdens. But I think there are people and good guys and good partners out there that would not bat an eye at this.
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OP does have a little edit to add some details. Favorite quotes from my husband. This one is in regards to why he doesn't have time during the day to clean during breaks. Quote, 11 a.m. is for eating, 1 p.m. is for napping, and I can probably help at 3.30 p.m.
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Your sick wife who's working two jobs. Oh, my God. I don't know how some people keep their composure. I am so I'm like, am I crazy? Like, am I crazy? I would literally rip a bag of trash open on top of him during an hour.
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Am I like the way some people can keep their composure? They deserve awards.
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This next one said to me when I wasn't doing enough in the house, quote, you're not giving with both hands right now.
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insane we do have a couple more comments from op um op does have a counselor thank god and she told me to discuss expectations about this situation and that's when he said oh you'll only be sick for a few days she was not happy with that and yes i will reach out to family now that i know what he thinks i feel like i am letting him and my family down like i am expected to be super mom and keep it up
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In a weird way, maybe cancer was my wake-up call to do this. Yes. But damn, this is going to suck.
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Yeah. Oh. Mm-hmm. There's some other comments that I think are really, really interesting and I'm really blown away by. So OP is talking about her kids. They're the best kids in the world. So smart and sweet. I would do anything for them. My oldest does notice and make comments about dad being lazy. Yes. But I also don't want her to hate him. So I keep quiet.
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I wonder if it's general. I wonder like what his friends and family actually think.
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He doesn't clean up the house, dishes, make beds, or pick up toys, etc., so it leaves a mess for me. I know it sounds stupid, but I would like to come home and relax before the kids get home instead of picking up from the morning.
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No. And he gets to take a nap. Yeah. And then he's like, oh, I guess I can help at 3.30. So from 1 to 3.30, he's taking a two and a half hour nap every day. The luxury. I don't know. Yeah. The luxury. And it's also like, hey, you're the dad. Hey, kids, toys got to be picked up before we get on the bus. Yeah. Hey, here's your five minute warning. The bus is coming soon. Pick up your toys. Yeah.
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Even directing them to pick them up would be better. They're 10. The youngest is four. A four year old can pick up toys. Yeah. Like be a parent. Don't let them run amok.
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Yeah, to my house. Like, if you break up, I hope... This is what's so hard because, like, I get, like, you're dating, you're calling him partner. Like, there's no mention of how long they've been together in this initial post. Like, I'm going to go look at comments and hopefully we get some more context from OP.
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What are you doing? Loser. Loser. Loser as fuck. I think we're going to get an update on this one, though. So we will keep our eyes peeled. But moving along.
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And I think it is. I really do think it is. So we'll keep our eyes peeled. Okay, this next one, it's coming from the Tuatik subreddit, nine days old, titled, Boyfriend keeps making jokes about our lack of bedroom time. What do I do? Hello, everyone. I really need some advice and would appreciate any that you have to give.
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My 23 female boyfriend, 22 male, and I have been facing some problems as far as our sex life goes. For context, back in October, I had two big surgeries. These were really hard for me as they had to go in through my back and create an incision in a major organ. It took weeks for me to heal, and I still have nerve damage as a result.
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On top of this, I've been taking birth control for 10 years and have a very consistent cycle. However, the anesthesia used for my surgery rendered my birth control ineffective for a month, throwing off my cycle and making my hormones fluctuate like crazy. As a result of all of this, I've been extremely sensitive and have been getting easily overstimulated when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom.
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My boyfriend has been with me since my surgery and we have had multiple conversations about how we both feel concerning my body, hormones changing in the way that they have, etc. I have been unable to have sex as my body quite literally will not allow me to. I have an average libido and my boyfriend has a high one, so this has been difficult for both of us.
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208: Take the Trash Out
However, starting in December, my boyfriend started making comments and jokes about our lack of intimacy to me and in front of our friends. This didn't bother me at first, but it got to a point where I felt embarrassed and guilty, and I detached myself from intimacy even further. I expressed how his comments and jokes hurt me, and he said he would stop. Recently, they started picking up again.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Last night, he made a particularly guilting comment to me and it has left me feeling distant. I'm struggling to be any type of intimate or affectionate with him since the most recent comment. And he's getting angry with me because of that. I don't know what to do. This has been a month-long struggle, and I need advice on how to move forward.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I've talked to my doctor, to therapists, and have communicated with my boyfriend, but nothing is working. What would you do?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
But you probably shouldn't buy a house with your partner that doesn't post you on social media and doesn't really... And I get it. Some people are like, it's social media. It's not real.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Like, you can't have sex for a couple months. Like, I don't know, buddy. You got a hand. Like, if you need to please yourself, sure. Go for it. I understand. High libido. You know, young guy. Whatever. But to publicly shame your partner after two major surgeries going through a major organ, nerve damage, hormones out of whack, like...
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
You either like this person and want to support them and be a good boyfriend. As a human being. Or, like, honestly, break up. Yeah. Break up. If you're prioritizing sex over this person that seems nice and cares about you, break up.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
No. You're not entitled to sex. Point blank. And, again, if that is a problem for you, which I... I don't know. I think it's crazy breaking up with someone over that. It's like, what happens if you're with this person, you get married, you want kids, you have kids, you can't have sex right away after having a baby. Yeah. Like, oh, guess we're not having sex soon. And like, Yeah, things happen.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Life happens. Top comment on this one. Sex is amazing and all, but you know what's better? My partner's well-being. Yeah. Your boyfriend is being completely selfish. It would be different if this wasn't a medical issue. If my hubby was in this position, I would be too anxious about his health to be in the mood. Question, how long have you and your boyfriend been together? Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And Opie does respond to that. We've been together for about six months. We've been friends for about nine.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
So we do have a couple comments from Opie. None that look like they're getting into the specifics of it. The first comment OP ever replied to someone says, We have been intimate in other ways, but through our conversation, it is clear he is upset about the sex in particular.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
No. I'm like, is the address visible? All it takes is a Google image search and you can find that house.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I understand why he is upset because he has a high libido and we had sex consistently before my surgery, but I also have been feeling immense guilt because of my own body and his comments.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
This is so weird. I don't get it. I think you got to cut your losses. I really do. I'm like, you're only six months in. Oh, absolutely. You are realizing very quickly that like,
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
have yet to see that happen dude that's crazy yeah that's so crazy yeah no you got to cut your losses with this one and move on move on this is not worth it being guilted again like you should never be guilted into intimacy like yeah even if you're completely healthy Be done.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Like- Look at the show Catfish and how they were able to track people down. Yeah. Off small details. We have no comments from OP. So no idea how long they've been together. But this is also so messy because it's like, did you do a contract that if you break up, you sell the house, but you get your, like, you get more back?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Be done. Enough air time for this garbage. Moving along. Garbage. Garbage. OK, I am working on a work related theme right now. So I've been coming across like a lot of like work drama, work stories. But this one, I'm like, it's just so it's just a little juicy little thing. And I'm like, OK, we're just going to pop it in here before.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah, because the work one, I want to get like a really good like work professional person that's deep in it. And yeah, I like that. Trying to see who it is. So it's coming, but it's not ready yet. So this one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It's three days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole for not giving my coworker a ride after he didn't spot me $1 at the vending machine?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
That's the kind of petty shit I would do. I usually give my coworker a ride on the way back from work, usually driving five miles out of my way per day to drop him off at his place because he doesn't have a car. I've been doing that for about two years now, and I haven't asked for anything. And he has never offered. Yesterday, I was at the vending machine and wanted a soda.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I was a dollar short and had left my wallet in my car. I would usually go to get my wallet, but it takes forever to wait for the elevators at my workplace, so I asked him if he could spot me a dollar for the soda. He straight up refused and said, quote, just use your own money, man. I don't really give money to friends or co-workers. Sorry. But you take.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He seemed upset and said I was petty. Am I the asshole? Be more petty.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I would send a bill for the gas. Yeah. At that point, I'd be like, hey, dude, like, you can't give me a dollar. You're getting a bill for gas.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah. Because otherwise, what, do you split the house 50-50 even though you put in more initially? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
That's karma. That's absolutely. That's truly karma. Like again, like some people really bite the hand that feeds them. Yeah. And that's crazy to me.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
But I don't know. It was just really nice. I was like, thank you for my chicken strips, man. You deserve it. You deserve those chicken strips. But it's just like, again, like I'm blown away. I'm blown away by this, like the audacity of this person.
Two Hot Takes
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Why would I keep doing it then? The fact that this person hasn't even offered like, hey, I really appreciate you picking me up or dropping me off after work every day for the past couple of years. Like, Let me know how I can help. Like, should I start pitching for gas? The fact that there was no offer. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
So that's like this person is entitled, has a lot of audacity and just you fucked up over a dollar.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Oh, it's good. It's good, though. Yeah. Top comment on this one, not the asshole. You asked him for a small favor and he refused and shamed you. You have no obligation to keep offering him a ride, though you should know that this will drastically deteriorate your relationship and they will make a big deal out of it. OP responds, thankfully, we work in completely different departments.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And I wouldn't care. I literally wouldn't care. Like, let him run his mouth. Yeah. Like, oh, he stopped giving me rides because I wouldn't borrow him a dollar.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I know. My brother did this. He bought a house with his girlfriend and they literally broke up like six months later. And luckily they they were able to get out of it and like they actually made like 10k each on this house. Oh wow that's awesome. Which was great but it's like it doesn't always go like that sometimes you lose value.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
No. Moving along. Weirdo. So this next one is coming from r slash am I overreacting four days old titled, am I overreacting for being upset that my boyfriend canceled our romantic dinner to take his mom and sister instead? Basically what the title says, my 24 female boyfriend, 26 male of three years had told me over the weekend that he made reservations for a romantic restaurant on the lake.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Then he texts me, quote, I'm going with my mom and sister instead. Now, normally, I'm pretty understanding, but this is weird, right? He kind of just brushed me off with a, quote, well, they really wanted to go. So yeah, sorry. I have no problem with him spending time with his family, but this was supposed to be our date.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Not to mention I had to prepare and pack everything since he lives about 45 minutes away from me. Now he's going to enjoy a romantic dinner with his mom and sister, and I'm going back home to be by myself. Am I overreacting for being upset about this?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I think it's weird, especially, like, OP calls this a romantic restaurant on the lake. Yeah. He made this really cute intentional plan for his girlfriend, like, we're going on this really cute date. Yeah. And then mom and sister all of a sudden, like, they want to go. So it's like, okay, well, now I'm taking my mom and my sister to this romantic restaurant on the lake.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Sounds a little inappropriate. I'd be at least suspicious. Odd. And, like, okay, you can have a nice dinner with your mom and sister, great, but, like, you had plans with your girlfriend. Yeah. Hey, mom, sister.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Sorry, like, I'm busy. Well, let's go the next night. Yeah. I'd love to go get dinner with you guys, but I have plans. Yeah, like, why are you letting them sabotage your relationship?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Yeah. And that's a good point. Like, there's not any of that comments. Like... It sounds like they're not visiting. Yeah. So, again, weird. You would skip out on your girlfriend. Yeah. Top comment. No, this is weird. Yeah. Canceling a romantic date to take his mom and sister instead with zero discussion? That's not just inconsiderate. It's straight up dismissive.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Spending time with family is great, but he could have made separate plans with them instead of pulling a last minute swap like you were never a part of the equation. You have every right to be upset. And this wasn't a small change. It was a complete disregard for your plans together.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Next comment. Yep. My ex would do this all the time. Insert people into our plans or straight up change them for other people. So concerned about what other people wanted and not leaving them out, but no regard for me. I feel like this is the same situation. He probably mentioned it to his mom and sister and they were like, wow, that sounds really cool. You should take us some time.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And he just buckled over and said, yeah, let's go this day. I have reservations. Then said sorry to girlfriend. So weird. So gross. You are not his priority.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I don't know. You don't see each other much, and she lives 45 minutes away. Mm-hmm. That's a hike. And it's all planned to work out now. Like, you have a whole thing. So, OP does have a little bit of an update on this post. Thank you all for the advice. I've read all of the comments, and I went ahead and pressed the issue a little further with him.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
To respond to some questions in the comments, do you get along with his family? His family and I get along pretty well. We've been on trips together, gotten each other gifts for holidays and birthdays, the whole nine yards. I have always had a creeping suspicion that they didn't like me because when I come over, they are super passive and don't really engage in conversation with me.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
When I ask my boyfriend, he says that they're just reserved and shy. I think they just don't like that the only man in their life has a girlfriend. Bingo. Another one of these situations. Next response from OP, is he cheating on you? Yeah. I can confidently say he's not cheating on me. All right.
Two Hot Takes
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He just has this weird relationship slash mama's boy thing going on that has always slightly bothered me. Yeah. He literally goes out of his way to show his appreciation for them. Sometimes it's endearing, but sometimes I feel like I'm on a back burner. Now he said he understands where he went wrong and doesn't want me to feel like I'm the last option.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Apparently he's been canceling plans on them for a while, so he felt bad when they expressed interest in going to dinner with him tonight. Just them three. Like it could have been a nice four.
Two Hot Takes
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Versus like, fuck you, you're not going at all. I will be putting my foot down about the mom and sister thing. Like, seriously. His sister is older than me and he treats her like she's nine years old. Thank you to all the women... and men sharing their mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law stories. You've given me confidence to stand up for myself. Also, thank you for the laughs.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I tend to make light of situations. Your concern brought me some joy today. It felt crazy, but you all made me realize I need to stand up for myself right now.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Just stick to your plans. Also, just because you've been canceling on them doesn't make it right for you to then cancel on your girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. Find a new date. Quit canceling on people. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
quit over committing yourself and being a people pleaser like that's something I've really noticed where it's like I would commit because I didn't want to tell anyone no but I was so over committing myself to the point like I'm burnt out I'm not showing up and being present at any of the things because I'm like I'm tired I'm stressed like it's okay to say no yeah it's okay to advocate for yourself it's okay to not be peer pressured or feel you need to like show up for everyone at the same like
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Set boundaries. Take a breather. We have an update, though. Ooh. Another one. I wasn't going to update, but I am livid.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
To clear it up from the beginning, his mom and sister knew that we had a date. Oh, my God. Okay. We had a serious talk about his family and how I need him to start stepping up more. I told him I won't be option number three for my entire life and threatened to leave if that was the case. He understood, agreed, and we moved on.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He said his mom was just stressed about work and wanted to talk to him. Sure. Told him to enjoy his dinner and everything. Fast forward a few hours later, during supposed dinner time. I'm on FaceTime with him again and wondering why he's not at the restaurant. His mom and sister fell asleep. They literally just fell asleep. Here I am, literally begging for this man for one day a week to see him.
Two Hot Takes
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And his mom and sister, who live with him, fell asleep. They live with him?
Two Hot Takes
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I told him straight up that they disrespected his time and did all these theatrics for nothing. So yeah, that's the update. Thanks for all your tough love and good advice. I have a lot to think about today. Really, even the mean comments were good. I don't normally talk to people in real life about my relationship, so I appreciate the little bits of advice.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Very odd. This is sus to me. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking it, though. You guys, you go let us know. Top comment on this one. OK, so he doesn't post you other times either. He wants to appear single. Yeah. Next comment down this. He wants women to think he is a single homeowner, a very eligible bachelor at 27.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Why don't you just go wake their asses up? Yeah. Also, like, what time was this dinner reservation for? Probably like six because Opie was going to go right after work. So it's like, OK, 6 p.m. dinner reservation. They are not going to bed at 6 p.m. Yeah. They're not likely going to bed at 7 p.m. They fell asleep, both of them. Both of them.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
This is, this is getting goofy. Yeah. There's, I was not, the fact that you really, you brought this to my attention. You're really pointing this out. And I'm so curious. This might have to be the poll on this one. It might have to be the poll if we think he's cheating.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
yeah it's okay yeah it's not our drama we just have to remember that at the end of the day it's not our drama we just get to vicariously live through these people a little bit and it's the tea without it actually burning you whoa have you said that before no wow morgan maybe Friends, it's been 200 plus episodes. I'm not sure.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
You live together. Go knock on the door. Yeah. Also, the fact that they live together is even more so like, why did you cancel on your girlfriend? Yeah. You live with them. Yeah. He's 26. Sister's 25. Mom is probably 50. Talk to her at any point. You get these people basically all week. Yeah. And you only see your girlfriend one day a week. Girl, break up. I don't care if he's cheating or not.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
At this point, you shouldn't be begging your boyfriend to spend time with you. Your boyfriend of three years. Break up. Break up. This is stupid.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
your girlfriend who lives 45 minutes away instead of your family that you live with wow i can't believe she just like casually dropped that little additional info like later in the comments yeah well and there's more there's a a few more comments from op 100 as this is normal behavior for him i don't think he's cheating to be honest i think he just loves them that much um
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He does not see them as much as we would think because he does have a very demanding like blue collar job. It's his dream job. And he doesn't live with them because he needs money. It's more so they actually need money from him. He makes decent money. I think they are in his ear making him feel guilty. That being said, I'll take myself on a date tonight instead.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
OP is saying, I think therapy might be the route I'll take. Yeah. Which, hey, you've been together three years. If you're willing to see if it can get better, give it a shot.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
It's insane. Yeah, they rely on him financially, emotionally, etc. I don't think it's a big deal breaker, but the principle is why I'm upset. I will definitely keep reminding myself of this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Comment that it was such a huge accomplishment for you both to buy this home together and that you are so happy to share in homeownership with your life partner. Then make a similar post, but mention and tag him in the way you wish he had done so it shows up on his followers' feeds.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I wouldn't be able to do it. And I think it's giving you a preview of, like, after three years, if you're not being prioritized over... mom and sister for just an average date night, when will you be prioritized? Yeah. It's not going to magically change when you get married. No. And, like, I just... I don't want to fight for someone's attention.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Like, I have had issues, like, early on in some relationships where, like, they didn't really have clear boundaries with their parent. Like, that's not something they ever really needed to have. And so issues arise and they would, like... It wasn't even like things that like would require like taking my side over. But I was prioritized and that was an issue.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And it was hard establishing that boundary because it was a muscle that had never been flexed. Yeah. But after you get over that hump, it does get better. Like it is healthier. It's more constructive. Like you do have to be uncomfortable at sometimes to grow.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Things do change. People grow. You gotta gotta move on. Live a little. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm adding in one last one, you guys. Don't hate me. But this is one, the title alone. And we just need, I feel like we need to end really like breaking these stress balls. Really trash. Yeah, because I'm like, I don't know if I have another theme for this one. So I'm like, I got to get it out.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I got to get it out. Yeah. So last one. Coming from Am I Overreacting, four hours old. Am I overreacting? My boyfriend said I'm the kind of girl that guys sleep with but don't marry.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I, 23 female, and my boyfriend, 27, have been dating for three years. Yesterday, we were watching this dating show. There was this beautiful girl he pointed out saying, oh wow, she looks like marriage material. Hearing that, I asked him, quote, what about me? And he went, quote, you are the kind of girl guys sleep with and not marry. Deadass to my face. I was really shocked when he said this.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Someone replies back, I bet he deletes it. And that is very telling.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
But then, next second, he just laughed, saying it was a joke. I got really upset because it's the first time I've heard something like that, and we got into an argument.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Initially, he said he was sorry, but then the more we argued, the more he got offended, asking me why I was so sensitive, as what he said can be taken as a compliment, since guys usually go for attractive women, and I was one of them. He said it's a good thing not being able to commit and have your heart broken. What about me and these three years?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I hadn't tried talking to him at all today and he's been constantly texting me saying sorry and he will take me out for food. He ended up coming to my college an hour ago and said I shouldn't be sensitive over a joke that was just a passing thought. I don't know if I'm overreacting by keeping my distance. My boyfriend has made some tasteless jokes in the past, but this wasn't it for me.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I don't... Are they actually dating? Like, if you asked him, am I your girlfriend? Or... How do you spend three years with someone and then to their face say, you're not the marrying kind. You're just the kind of girl guys sleep with and don't marry. That's just like a very cruel thing to say. What are we doing here?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I mean, OP's 23, started dating when, you know, 20, and he was 24. Yeah, I mean, that is pretty young. But, like, if you're not... It's okay if you just want to date someone to just date, but, like, it doesn't seem like that's OP's mindset. Right, yeah. And I think most people do date with, like, the intention of, like, long-term commitment at the end of the day. Yeah, absolutely.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Come on. Come on. Which this is so interesting. So there's two comments from OP about this post. I don't know if I would call it bragging, but I'll say that he does like to post nice things or achievements or traveling type of content. And no, he doesn't post to me those other times either. But I may just be taking the house part more personal. I am on the deed.
Two Hot Takes
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So, this is really confusing. I can't even... I can't even get past this. Like looking at someone on TV that you don't know being like marriage material. What do you, you don't even know that person. So that's based on a physically objective attraction you have or whatever. Subjective, not objective. Like you're saying, oh, she's marriage material. Why?
Two Hot Takes
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Like that's giving, you know, it's giving the same energy as like a guy being like, oh, she's a breeder. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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That's a thing? It's such a thing, especially if, like... Like, good birthing hips? If, like, she's tall or athletic. Oh, my God. Ew. Like, oh, she's such a breeder. Like, our kids would be, do you want... Like, eh.
Two Hot Takes
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Or I'm attractive enough for people to fuck but not marry? Yeah. Either way, the math isn't mathing. And then to brush it off as a joke... It's not funny. I'm not laughing. And I said we were going to get mad enough to pop them.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
If it wouldn't have been you, it would have been me. Because I... That banana.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I said, I said this story. And it did. Top comment on this one. Just tell him he is the dumping kind and move on. Yes. That part. Someone goes, come on. You know the answer here. And OP replies to that, only comment we have from OP on this one. To be honest, I tried telling my friend and she said it's some guy humor and I shouldn't be too offended.
Two Hot Takes
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And take it as a compliment, which is why I'm confused. It's not the first time he's made backhanded compliments and I usually just get upset for a little time before forgetting, but this comment just took me out for some reason.
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But then to say it about me? I just think it really is highlighting what he actually thinks of you. Yeah. And I think there's moments in life and relationships, whether it's like with partners or friends, where there's almost like that, like that slip, like where it's like, oh, like I fucked up. Like that's not that's not how I meant it. But it's like. But it probably is how you meant it. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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And you just let it slip. Yeah. You're just disappointed or bummed you said it to me. Yeah. To my face. Deadass. Like I think it's okay to take people at their word and like he is even doubling down. Like it was a joke. I don't think he sees you as marriage material. So if that's something you want.
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Yeah. So nice. I forget sometimes, though. But that's all I got. Wow. What a good mix of stories. Insane. I'm stressed. Yeah. Time to go to Costco and get some samples. I'm hungry.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Oh, I get a box of croissants and open it up in the store and eat one as I shop.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Thank God. Yeah. Thank God. Some people would get bamboozled. I've seen some stuff. I've seen some stuff. So I don't know. I think he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Waiting for maybe a better option, but...
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Give them to my neighbors. It's so many croissants. My gardeners. I give them away because I'm like, I can't eat them. There's, what do you get, 12 in a box? Like a dozen? It's a lot and they're huge. They're big. But they do stay good for a while. Oh. And they're so good.
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But thank you all so much for being here. We've got some amazing content on Patreon this month. The group T, Mikayla and I did in January, is up on Patreon. A lot of good stuff. So come on over. But other than that, until next time, don't forget to put your trash out. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I literally, oh my God, this is giving me flashbacks. I don't know why this wasn't ringing alarm bells for me. I have an ex who I dated and he lived in Canada while I lived in Minnesota. So I was always like commuting back and forth. Like he didn't really come to me.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
And I would take these pictures when we would go to like science museums and we would do this and I would take the pictures and we would get pictures together too.
Two Hot Takes
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The only pictures he would post are the ones that I took that didn't include me in it. And he literally did it. So that he could have another girlfriend in Canada at the same time. Yeah. This stuff is so intentional when it comes to like you're going on trips together and going to these exotic locations. Like, yeah, you're his partner.
Two Hot Takes
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The fact he doesn't post one picture of you guys together when you're buying a house together.
Two Hot Takes
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But he would use the excuse like, I'm not a big social media guy. Yeah. Which did make sense because he wouldn't really post. It was like one picture every three or four months. So I'm like, okay, I get it.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
We've been there. We're doing one more home ownership story vibe because this is a big trend I'm seeing right now. And I feel like this needs to be a PSA of don't get conned.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
So this next one is coming from the Too Hot Takes subreddit, one of our very own, 23 hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for not wanting to contribute money to home renovations? I'm so sorry this is so long, but I really need advice and I didn't know where else to go. My boyfriend, 36, and I, 32, have been together for five years.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
After a year of dating, he decided to sell the house he owned and move into an in-law suite in his mom's basement. I agreed to move in with him, but we both agreed this would be a temporary decision. Our plan was to stay there for a year before purchasing our own home together.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I have my own savings, and we would plan to split the down payment evenly, or 60-40, depending on how much the down payment was. At the time, he made double my salary. Since then, I've been promoted and make about $20K less than him. A year later we started shopping for a house. After multiple offers we were constantly being outbid and decided to wait a little longer.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Let me know if I have, but welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Around this time he started talking about the idea of buying his mom's house. I did not want this. I've never loved the idea of living with his mom. She's not bad but I'd made it clear in the beginning that I would not invest my money in a home that wasn't completely ours. If we bought his mom's house we'd be responsible for all of the bills while she lived in the house for free.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
She would also be on the deed. We would talk about this a lot and I would always shut it down. He said he was going to do it regardless of what I wanted. And this was an opportunity that he couldn't skip out on. I told him that was fine if that's what he wanted. He could buy the house by himself and I wouldn't be contributing. He was well aware of this. In November 2024, it was official.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
He would be purchasing his mom's home. We switched living spaces. We moved upstairs to the main floor. His mom moved to the in-law suite. So far, it hasn't been so bad. His plan is to purchase the house for what his mom owes, and he has tossed around the idea of adding an addition to the house with a garage and an extra living space above the garage.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Mikayla, as you know, one of our regulars now at this point. I just, I love having you. Any updates? I'm like, any updates in life?
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
Or build a standalone garage on the property and remodel the inside of the house, updated kitchen, knocked down a wall, installing central air, new flooring, updated bathroom. Here's where I may be the asshole. Two days ago, he mentioned the house and the renovations. He asked me if I was willing to contribute any of my savings to the cost, estimating around $150,000 to $200,000. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
I told him no, since my name was not going to be on the deed. His reply was that it wasn't fair that I would get to enjoy all of the renovations and not contribute to any of it. I told him I'd pay to live there. I would help pay for utilities and help with the mortgage. But I wasn't going to deplete my savings for capital investment I would never financially benefit from.
Two Hot Takes
208: Take the Trash Out
If he were to sell the house in the future, I would never get any of that money back. He told me that I wanted specific renovations done, a sliding door with a new deck off the kitchen. But when I mentioned that I thought that would be nice, his reply was that he was thinking of doing the same thing. So I assumed it was something he also wanted. He said, What? We are not married.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Hi, friends. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And I'm Lauren.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. So, OP does say, as a girl, if I want an exact replica, I'd buy it myself. Husband had no clue I had these earrings. It wasn't intentional on his end.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Which that to me then is a little crazy. Yeah. Two years every day wearing these earrings. The date you met. You remember what I was wearing when you met me. Our first date, you remember exactly what I walked into that bar wearing. That's impressive.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I was wearing a lot of, well, I had denim and then I had a white off the shoulder top.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, that's really cute. That's so sweet. Yeah. I don't know where I was going with that because I was really cute. But you're saying I would recognize. You would. You know my rings. You know my jewelry. You just pay attention to me. I think I added a new necklace a couple weeks ago and you're like, oh, that's really pretty. Where'd you get that? You notice these things and
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I don't know if that's just a you thing or if like our listeners out there could maybe chime in on this and be like, no, my partner notices like my earrings or like if I, you know, did my hair a certain way. Yeah. But there are people out there that don't know those changes. Like their partner could chop four inches of hair off and they wouldn't notice.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But not for two years straight. It would be like someone having their nose pierced and you said you never noticed it.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And I will give him maybe like a bit more grace. Like Opie does here reply to someone and she's like, thank you for your words. I know marriage is not about sweating the small stuff. In other words, lying, infidelity, abuse. I know earrings can be a silly thing to have over. I wear my hair up daily. The history has been similar, which is why I asked for huggies specifically from specific stores.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Okay. I know. We might have a lot of new listeners very soon coming in, giving the show a shot.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Huggies are like hoops that really hug your ear. And if you're saying, I want huggies from these specific stores... I mean, the odds are, like, he's going to pick something. I mean, you're really saying, like, here's the narrow path, sir. Stick to it.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. But still, you didn't look at her damn ears over the past two years. Like, come on.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I mean, Huggies earrings. I did. To be honest, I did have to Google just now what Huggies looked like.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. And honestly, this sounds overall like an issue. Like Opie says here, we usually have good conflict resolution. But when it comes to his lack of romantic effort. Never planning dates, no considerate gestures, not getting me a birthday card or gift, etc.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
To not ever get a birthday card from your partner, though? That's wild. We would not have gotten the point of marriage. No chance. Call me superficial.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like, if you don't get me a card, at least... On my birthday?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
You know what's unnatural for me? Giving blowjobs. You know what I still do? Give blowjobs. I do it for you, babe. And that's the thing with love languages. My love language, I don't like acts of service. I know Justin does. Or like XYZ, like Justin's love language might not be gift giving, but he knows I love getting gifts. So that's what he does.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like at a certain point when you love someone, you recognize what makes them happy and you do it because making them happy makes you happy.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Some people would not care. I know there's some people out there that would be like, yeah, it's a card. I'm going to throw it away anyways. Whatever. I'd rather have a rock. Like, I love a rock.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Well, guys, we do have a little bit of an update in the comments. Ooh. OP here. Appreciate all the input. We've moved past it. And after acknowledging his blip, he was able to exchange them for a different pair and then also got me another set of earrings as an added apology.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
While this experience sucked in the moment, as many pointed out, marriage and commitment is more than unintended hurt feelings.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. So we're going to keep loving this one. Okay. We're not leaving it. We're not leaving it. But for those out there that are not married yet and you're just dating and if your person is not getting you a card on your birthday or doing something small, little, whatever it is to make you feel special and loved, Leave them.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Don't let the bar be in hell for you. Like you deserve it. Like you deserve to find your person who will pick you flowers and come home with like a little donut or a card or whatever makes you happy. Like your person is out there. Don't waste your time on someone who's not even going to realize how special you are and show it to you by the ways that you feel loved.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I don't know if that makes sense, but we're going to go to the next one. Okay. Okay. I think it was good. Okay. I need more wine. One of this week's partners is LiveGood. We all take supplements, or most of us should be, but that is where LiveGood comes in. It's a brand that's turning the supplement industry on its head.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
This next one is coming from Relationship Advice. It is 23 hours old. It is titled, How do I, 32 female, forgive my husband, 42 male, for drinking to excess on Valentine's Day and ruining our first night ever leaving our baby with a sitter?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
My favorite band is on tour and scheduled a show for Valentine's Day in a city near us. When this was announced several months ago, I excitedly suggested that we get tickets. We still had a lot of time to find a sitter that we liked and get more comfortable leaving our baby with them. Husband agreed and bought the tickets. Excitement.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
As the date drew closer, I couldn't stop talking about how much this night would mean to me. This was going to be a night for us to have fun, reconnect after months of talking about nothing else other than our baby, feel like the old us for just a few hours. Being on Valentine's Day was a secondary consideration, but of course that date holds a special meaning on top of everything else.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
We found a sitter we loved. This is a huge deal. A night out, alone, to see my all-time favorite musicians. Day of the show, husband and I both have off work and baby is at daycare. Husband makes us mimosas and breakfast. Sweet start to the day. Husband continues to drink after mimosas. Beer after beer after beer. More beer on the train to the show.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
More beer at dinner down the street from the venue. This is when I finally noticed that he isn't just excited like I am, but drunk. He asked me a question, what time does the show start again? And I answer. 60 seconds later, he asked me the same question, forgetting that we had just had the same conversation. This goes on through dinner over and over again.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Walk into the venue, I ask if he is okay and if he will make it through the show. Mistake. He snaps. Accuses me of doing drugs at some point in the evening despite being with him the entire time. Projection. Screaming at me on the street that he can't believe I'd do something like that. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm pleading with him to understand why that is such a wild thing to say. He won't listen.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He storms out and says he's going home. I'm in an impossible situation because I can't let him go home and be the only adult to relieve the babysitter and be home alone with our baby. So I have to follow him. Pleading the whole time, begging him. He won't listen. I end up getting us an Uber because he can't figure out how to do it on his own.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Uber ride home, he tells me he is going to call my mother and tell her I did drugs. I'm floored. My mother would be wildly confused and worried if he were to do this. So I call her and explain what is going on. She hears how badly my husband is slurring. I don't think she will ever look at him the same again. We get home and I try to sleep on the couch.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He doubles down and calls me a terrible mother right before going into the bedroom. I couldn't even look at him today, the next day, and I've said not a word to him in 15 hours. I'm disgusted. I don't know what to do or how to address this. I don't know how to forgive him. My family certainly won't. I don't know whether to address the drinking or the drug accusations or what. I need some advice.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think you were spot on the money when you said projection.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Because where would he get that? It's almost like an intrusive thought where it's like, I hope she doesn't find out I did cocaine in the bathroom. I should accuse her of doing cocaine in the bathroom. She'll never guess it was me. Like, it feels like a drunken, like...
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Which like the very first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you get told you're a bad mom. That's so messed up.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And it's hard because like, I think we've all had those experiences where you sometimes don't realize like alcohol one, like if you're on an empty stomach, it hits you different. If you're at altitude, it hits you different. If you, you know, have...
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
a bunch of mixes it hits you differently alcohol is honestly one of the most dangerous things like it's it's crazy that alcohol is legal while you know other things aren't like weed now is more so widespread legal but like still not yeah it's crazy So for me, I'm like, this is why we have so many DUIs.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
It's like people think that alcohol gives them this like superhero cape and they say shit and they do shit. And we don't know our limits as well as maybe some other things. So it's like, even if he was like, I'm just going to have a Mimosa and then I had two more beers. Like, I don't think he went into this I'm going to sabotage this.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm going to get fucked up because she told him again and again, this is my favorite musician. I'm so excited. I'm this, I'm that. But the reality is he did fuck up. He did say these terrible things. So how do you move forward with this? You say, hey, I don't want to be around you if you're going to drink like that ever again. Like, really, like, you cannot drink.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
It was clear you couldn't handle your alcohol, you know, for whatever reason. That was unacceptable. And you need to make it up to me. Like, this is really bad. I don't know, you know, if you need to start doing AA. I don't know what it is, but, like, we should definitely pursue some counseling. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like there's got to be a way to mend this because otherwise you keep working and living and date, you know, being with this person, married to this person. And you just the resentment.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think, yeah. I think if... Well, and, like, again, like, alcoholism is a disease. Like, if he is saying, I'm going to stop drinking, I'm not going to do this again, and then does it, then I think you have a clear answer that, like, no, he truly has a problem with alcohol.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. We do have some comments from OP. Okay. So someone here goes, you're asking the wrong question. It's not how do you forgive him? It's how does he repair the trust that he damaged? Yeah. I need info. How was he acting this morning? Is drinking something he does a lot? Has something like this happened before?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm tempted to chalk this up to baby stress, but I have no idea what your relationship is like. And OP replies, Yeah. And someone else goes, yeah, in that case, this would be an ultimatum time. This is a time he literally could have harmed your family. I'm not saying he would, but I'm saying that being unpredictable is dangerous.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'll get you flowers. I actually was so busy working. I will get you flowers. But I did get you some really cool Apollo mission NASA coins limited edition. That's true. you did good too. But yeah, I think, you know, Valentine's day can be what you want. I think, you know, guys who are in, you know, hetero relationships, maybe put a little bit too much pressure on themselves if they're single.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He clearly has no judgment in that situation, therapy, and he stops drinking, or you leave. And OP replies, thank you for this. I was thinking this, but was not brave enough to admit it to myself.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think it's this comment. I was going to say something, but maybe I'll read this one first because I'm just seeing a line and it might kind of pick up where I want to go. It goes, it's also pretty interesting that he held everything together all day and he didn't fall apart until just before the concert. The one thing you had really been looking forward to.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And then he decided he had to leave, which forced you to leave as well. I agree that he is definitely an alcoholic and, But I have to wonder if there was some maliciousness behind this behavior. Anger at you, distaste for the band, irritation at your job. I don't know. It just feels like he really wanted to ruin your night.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I will say, like, I think it, I don't know if it's necessarily interesting that he held it together all day. Like, that's kind of how alcohol works. It keeps compounding.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, no. And I think if he was like, because we hear this, like, oh, narcissists will ruin big things for you, whether it's your birthday, like, whatever. Like, it seemed like he was excited for it, too. He got up and made them breakfast and mimosas. Like, he started off on a good foot.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, I'm not getting the malicious vibe from this, but... No. My thing, I'm like, and I'm, here is, like, the total... A devil's advocate, what if scenario. It's Valentine's Day. They went out to a nice restaurant or a bar. They're ordering drinks. I'm wondering if he got roofied. That crossed my mind, too. I'm like, if this is out of behavior for him, like, oh, he drinks.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like, my sister-in-law could say the same about my brother. Yeah, Matt loves a whiskey. Matt is... He collects whiskey. Matt likes to have a beverage here and there. Justin likes his mezcal. I like wine. You like wine. But that doesn't necessarily, like...
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
mean we're gonna do this like I'm genuinely wondering if something got slipped in his drink because this is so out of character and for him to come up with this wild accusation of drug use right it's very it's very like it's like mind altered just flip and that's what roof like when I've been roofied like it's it it's like that yeah you like for me I've had three roofied experiences and they've all been very different
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Three. Yeah. Yeah. The first time I was at, I was in college and I went to a party and like someone handed me this beer. And I remember I was stone cold sober and they were like, here, have this beer. And I was like, I don't drink beer. I don't drink beer. They're like, no, no, it's really, it's really good. You should have this beer.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And I remember like taking a couple of sips and like shutting it down. Next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning. Yeah. And I, my friends tell me, they're like, you slipped on ice on the street and you just laid there. You didn't get up.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. It's tough. I was there for one of them. Yeah. He started like projectile vomiting at your house. Oh, I thought you were just sick. You think you got you think someone put something out of nowhere?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. He was sober. And then all of a sudden I just like hit him and just bam.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Cause the, the girls do Galentine's day and everyone needs to celebrate with their friends if they're, if they're single. Cause those were some of my best Valentine's day with the girls.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. You know, sometimes we all blend together. But here we go. Valentine's Day was last Friday. Okay. And there was a lot of drama that came out of it. I think Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that you can either love it or you hate it. And some big feelings can come up if you're dating someone and it doesn't go as you hope. And so today's theme is love it or love through it or leave it.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Maybe that's just a hunch, but maybe this person does have an alcohol problem. We're not sure, but OP does go on to say he does abuse alcohol often, but he has never gotten mean or throw around accusations before. He would say he doesn't have a problem because it doesn't affect his career or day-to-day life, but he does drink quite often.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
we've been together seven years married for three he drinks to excess often he would say he doesn't have a problem he exercises runs races walks the dogs helps with the baby etc but drinking is a big part of his downtime actually it is the main part of any downtime he has So that you could probably chalk that into the box of alcoholism.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
So I don't know. I think like she's really just got to feel this one out. And, you know, maybe he's to a point now where he can't handle alcohol and he should cut it out. Obviously, what happened is not OK. And if he's unwilling to make changes, then. Might be time to move, move past, move on. But I really hope we get an update from OP.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think just, you know, a lot of people question their relationship with alcohol and might be helpful for other people out there to get an update on this one. But moving along, moving along. Okay, this next one I have not read. I'm just going based off the title because it threw me for a loop.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
It's coming from Relationship Advice. Three days old. My 27 female husband, 28 male, secretly recorded us and sent it to my ex. I just found out my husband, 28 male of two years, secretly recorded us during sex and I'm freaking out. He sent it to my ex that he's always been openly jealous of. I knew he could go a little over the top sometimes, but this is honestly making me insane.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But we had a really good one this year. But these people, these people are just going through it in love. And we've got a lot of Valentine's Day stories, but we've also got a lot of just relationship, you know, troubles as well. So without further ado, shall we?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
This exchange was around May of last year. I'm really scared and I'm panicking. That's... It's over. Divorce.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I just want to. I just don't know. Like, I want to just electrocute him with my static electricity because that is disgusting behavior. It's horrific. It's so not OK. Yeah. And the fact he sent it to her ex.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
That is the most insecure, toxic... So toxic. ...predatory behavior. Yep. Recording someone without their consent, sending it, which could be... I'm like, is that prosecutable by, like, revenge porn? Because I would... I, like, hope it can be classified like something like that.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And the fact they're married, like, this is a person you're supposed to trust.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
You got her. She's yours. You guys are together. You won. Ear quotes won.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And I feel so bad because like she's here again saying, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Like, yeah, you I fully I would be scared, too.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And you second, you can't. I think a lot of times with people like this, you can't confront them. You just need to pack your shit.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, let's do it. Let's dive in. Okay, this is coming from AITAH. It is six days old now. A little bit of a warm up for us, okay? Because we have addressed this in a live show before. Okay. My 26 female dad buys me a Valentine's card every year. My 28 male partner has an issue with it. We have a five month old baby and have been together for 16 months. What are your thoughts?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think that's what gets scary. And like you hear about this with like Airbnbs where like you see like a little like USB plug on the wall and it's actually a camera.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
It's really the age of like people. And like I think people now feel more entitled to record you. Yeah. And it's just like.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. It's without doubt. It's a goodbye. It's a goodbye. And I don't think there's any devils advocating on this one. There's no fucking way. What he did is extremely violating, illegal, disgusting. Yeah. But of course someone on Reddit will still, you know, try. Okay. Let's hear it. Someone goes, everybody's jumping on the, your husband is an evil man bandwagon.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But I have to ask you, do you make your husband feel less than your ex? Shut the fuck up. Do you talk about him like he was so wonderful? Do you compare them? Maybe he doesn't feel like he measures up. Don't blow up your marriage yet. Shut up. Lots of advice from people not married. Like, ask him why he felt he needed to do that. And I don't mean yelling, but an actual question.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm sorry that I said my ex did that for me one time and I talked about a present he got maybe twice. Like, yeah, it doesn't, I don't care if she said my ex is the best person I've ever met. I wish him so well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't care. I don't record someone. No. And you being intimate and then send it off into the internet, into the void and then send it to someone like what?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He's genuinely unhinged. OP replies to that. And OP says... Fuck you. The thing is, I never talk about my ex. Maybe a bit when we first dated, but never when we got married two years ago. I'm really not sure what caused this. Maybe they have some beef between them. I don't know. But other than that, I'm not sure. But thank you for suggesting.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I think before I do, someone responds back to her and goes, this is a terrible take. Don't listen to this. Yeah. Yeah. There is nothing you could do to cause or deserve this abuse. Nope. Hell no. Hell to the no. OP does have some other comments here. Exploring my legal options sounds like a good plan.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I mean, not actually, but like, I don't know. There's another couple of comments. Yes, I kept a few screenshots.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
That's so wild. Someone goes, would there be any repercussions for logging into his Instagram? Breach of privacy or whatnot? Obviously a way smaller scale, but you don't want to give them anything to use against you in court. Maybe your ex showed it to you. Wink, wink. And Opie goes, I'm guessing there won't be any repercussions.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He asked me to log into his Instagram to change his settings since he didn't know how to. I was looking at his DMs just to check how his sisters are doing since I haven't seen them in a while. I came across the DM with my ex completely by accident. Before I speak to a lawyer, would this actually be an issue? Something to take up with a lawyer.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I've honestly I can swear up on a Bible, whatever. I've never looked at Justin's Instagram DMs.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
That was actually insane. Have we talked about that on the pod?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
That was the most deranged DM someone could have sent you. We should probably tell the people now just because we've teased it a little bit. Um, we were at a live show and when we have these live shows, like we're typically on a stage or a little raised platform and we have bright lights on us.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like you cannot, you can't really see anyone, especially if you're on a stage because like, it's just lights, like it's blinding. And someone sent Justin a DM and was like, I saw you looking at me. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Well, this next person definitely needs to tone it down or just never, ever do this again. I'm excited for your thoughts. Okay. Another one of this week's partners is Audible. This new year, why not let Audible expand your life by listening? You can explore over 1 million audiobooks, podcasts, and exclusive Audible Originals that'll inspire and motivate you. It's easy.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
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Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Am I the asshole for wanting to divorce my husband because he added pee to my food? Oh, fuck that.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
My wine is looking a little yellow. Oh, God. OK, so I don't know if I'm losing it or what, but I, 32 female, have been married to my husband, 36 male, for four years. And I don't know who the fuck I married anymore. So he's always had this weird fetish he told me about where he wanted to pee on my face during sex. And I was like, no, just no. Never been into that. He asked a few times.
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I always shut it down. But he never pushed it, so I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong. A few months ago, I started noticing my food tasting weird. Not like bad, but like rotten. Just off. Like my overnight oats, my yogurt bowls, sometimes my brewed coffee. I thought maybe the fridge was fucking up, but everything else was fine.
Two Hot Takes
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I threw out so much, thinking it was spoiled, but then it kept happening. But here's the thing. I never got sick. No stomach aches, no nothing. So I started thinking maybe he was like poisoning me slowly. I don't know, trying to drug me or something. But again, it wasn't even making me sick, so it made no sense. I was just stressed. Also, like why would he drug me?
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He's always loving, so it wasn't making sense. I told my friend about it, and she was like, you need to put a camera on your fridge, just in case, because it's just him and I living alone. Only other person coming over is our moms sometimes. So I did put the camera, because I was losing my brain. Got a tiny one from Amazon, set it up, and waited. The tiny cameras. This man, my husband...
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peeing in my overnight oats and my brewed coffee, took the lid off, peed, put the lid back on, shook it. Put it back in the fridge like nothing happened.
Two Hot Takes
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I thought I was going to throw up right there. I lost it. I went full psycho. I broke his PS5, his TV. I threw his clothes outside in the snow, messed up his shoes, everything. He came home and I just screamed at him. He started crying, begging, saying that it was his fetish and he thought it was the only way to do it without me knowing. Like, what the fuck? Jesus Christ.
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Like, does he think it makes it better? No. He said he will go to therapy. We can put cameras all over the house. He will never do it again. Was saying we took vows and we have to work through this.
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I saw these people on TikTok advice asking on Reddit. So here I am needing that outside perspective. I'm at my friend's place right now. Haven't told anyone else what the fuck to do.
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He's blowing up my phone saying I'm ruining our marriage over this mistake. Oh, no, he didn't. No, like this ain't a mistake. Fucking vile. That is so messed up that he said that. And I can't look at him the same. So am I the asshole for wanting to divorce? Absolutely not. Or should I try to forgive him?
Two Hot Takes
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This is... How many people can you see being like, don't divorce. Don't jump to divorce. Give him a chance.
Two Hot Takes
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You took vows. He just peed in your overnight oats. It's fine. It's like... Don't let someone piss in your Cheerios.
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I think he's reacting because he's not doing anything. And so the card from the dad makes him look bad. Step up. Yeah. You're threatened because her dad got her a card. You have a baby together. You have a five-month-old baby together, which five-month-old baby takes about nine months, 14 months. They've been together 16 months. Yeah. I mean, math is that's the math. Yeah. He's got to step it up.
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way beyond what they ever thought was possible i mean yeah like this is an extreme measure he's taking to try and fulfill this well and a psychologist or psychiatrist could probably break this down too right and they're like yeah based on that you know maybe he has you know this extreme desire to have power over her like you could break that down right and get to maybe the root of why he's
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interested in that but regardless like you can have kinks that aren't normal normal air quotes right like people have a cnc kink like that's a thing there's a bunch of stories on reddit consensual non-consensual oh got it it's like a thing yeah and it's like You can find two people who are into that and that's their vibe.
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And as long as they go into it openly discussing that and having boundaries, having safe words, X, Y, Z, like that's fine. But when you make someone participate in your kink without them knowing, that's not okay.
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I literally, I don't know why this happens to me. And my girl Bree at Drybar can back me up on this. Bree, if you're listening, I know you listen, get in the comments. I talked to recently about how I like went to yoga class and someone was making sex noises.
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Today at Drybar, I'm getting my hair done and everyone's like, there's multiple, you know, people at the shampoo basins getting scalp massages. And this lady was, Starts aggressively moaning.
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Oh my gosh. Today. And I'm kind of like, I did a... Like someone's joking?
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She fucking goes, oh, I bet it sounds like I'm making sex noises. Or I bet it sounds like I'm having sex. And we're all just like, yeah, it did sound like that. Like it was so aggressive. And then she made another comment after, and I don't remember word for word, but it was something along the lines of like, no, I'd be enjoying it a lot more. Like I'd be even louder if I was having sex.
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And we were just like, we literally, me and Bree, like my hair girl, like we walk out of there and we like look at each other and we're like, She goes, that's never happened to me. And I go, that was crazy.
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Because like, yeah, it might feel good. And like I even said to like the Brie girl, I was like, oh, scalp massage feels great. Like, yeah, let's go for it.
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It was crazy. And it's like, also, you're not scared about how others are going to perceive your moans. What if that?
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You're choosing to be with this person just because you had a baby together didn't mean you needed to stay together. You're choosing to be together. Step up. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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Well, back to this one. Leave it. Divorce. Run. Do not give him a second chance. Leave it.
Two Hot Takes
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Leave it. Yeah. Top comment on this one? Run. Honestly, my fault for knowing how to read. Yeah. Next one down. Sometimes you don't know what you're in for until it's too late.
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I feel like whoever was British in the comments trying to gaslight me, you don't say mom. You say mum. Especially in Australia. I don't care if you think it's mom. It's not mom. You're saying mum. And you spell it M-U-M. That's mum. Figure it out over there. You know, you and your little, in your jumpers.
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That's what they call sweatshirts. They call it a jumper. A jumper. I love my British friends, but you say mum.
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Her name's Gemma. Oh, okay. Yeah, little cutie. Very exciting. Little cutie. Yeah. Divorce with this one. I'm going to see if there's any comments from OP.
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Um, not a lot of other comments from OP adding like additional insight. People are, you know, just being like, oh, you're going too hard on him. You must have known this before you got married, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And OP says like, I had no idea this was something he was into prior to marrying him. So potentially a little bit of a bait and switch there with that one.
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But, you know, maybe it was a new development. Who knows? Regardless, she's not OK with it. She's not into it. She didn't want to drink his piss and her oats. So divorce done. And I think we can all agree on that. I don't think we're going to have anyone saying that was too quick.
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Two Hot Takes
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Two Hot Takes
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Okay, so this next one. This is coming from aith1dayold. It is titled, I farted and my boyfriend got mad.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
My boyfriend, 30, and I, 28 female, were cuddled in bed under a blanket. Not doing anything. Just cuddled up. Randomly I farted literally out of nowhere and he immediately jumped out of bed and said quote okay I'm done and started getting dressed and saying stuff like this irks me. I replied, I understand, but that was completely unintentional, but also very natural.
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His response, angrily, quote, why would you fart in the bed under the blanket? I just sat there shocked with absolutely no words. At that moment, my heart shattered into every tiny piece imaginable. What should I do? Oh, no.
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It is a big response for a little fart. Yeah. Well, what if it wasn't little? No, I'm just kidding.
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Those ones are really uncomfortable. Because they just drown on. You don't know when it's going to end. Like, uncomfortable physically. Yeah. What?
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What? Justin's like, I've never heard anything about your farts, really.
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Lung farts are the funniest thing ever. Where they just... And they just like drown out. And you're like...
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No mention in the initial post. Let's go to the comments and see if we have anything.
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I don't want the first one that he... And he's heard me in my sleep. I think he just tries to make me feel better about it. Because, like, I will startle myself awake with my farts when I'm, like, half asleep. But I want the first one to be a cute toot. I don't want the first one to be, like, my explosive... Like, you know what I mean? Or, like, when it really rumbles.
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I have an aunt. My aunt Karen has been with her husband now for I don't know.
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They've been together 20 years, right? Like 20 some odd years, give or take. She still hasn't farted in front of him. This is where it comes from. I mean.
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I just don't. Who, me? I feel like you could fart right now if you wanted to. Probably. Yeah.
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I know. So OP has a lot, a lot of comments. There's so many. I'm really trying to get to something of substance, but I've been scrolling online. For so long, my hand hurts. I feel my carpal tunnel activating. My wrist has not been in neutral as it should be. I'm not seeing any, like, substance. Like, a lot of people are like, did you fart in his direction on purpose?
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I know, and I don't know why. I thought I had another story where I could have mentioned this, but that might have been on Patreon. But I completely agree. Like, I'm so traumatized from the stuff people put up with because of Reddit. Yeah. And I'm like, I hear about the nice stuff Brian does for you, and I know what Justin does for me, and the bar does not have to be low.
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No, I didn't fart in his direction. That would be disrespectful. No, I'm not lactose intolerant. I never, literally never fart on him. It was only an accident. His reaction is what bothered me. Yeah. Honestly, it's like, what are women supposed to do? Not do human things? It blows my mind out of rational thinking.
Two Hot Takes
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I did not fart on him. Not at all. I think that's rude, actually. I said, excuse me. Sorry. And he still got upset at me. So it seems like OP is like, really? It was just like, hey, they're laughing under the covers, maybe making out. And like, it was just like a, an accidental, like, blast.
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bodily function like yeah it doesn't sound like she was trying to dutch oven him no and i think you know what i mean like it's truly just a oops i tooted like they were maybe giggling who knows but yeah i'm not seeing a lot here but i want to look up how often it is healthy to fart a day a lot of people are accusing op of making this up this being fake
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To be honest, I really, deeply, truly wish I was joking. The guy and I have been dating for over a year now. Oh my God. And have talked heavily about settling down. I know his pet peeves and he knows mine. I will say this. He is, in general, not a fan of any type of bodily fluids such as blood, saliva, pee, poo, etc. the sight and thought of those things upsets him easily.
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Now, with that in mind, I respectfully try my hardest and have so far succeeded to keep those things out of sight. I just did not ever, ever imagine that he would do that to me over a fart. And I barely, I mean, ever fart around him. The reaction was what shocked me the most, not necessarily the fart itself. I immediately called my mother and cried about this because of the shock.
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I'm rethinking this entire relationship. We are long distance, by the way, so you can imagine the money, trips, and time invested all this while. But all of that doesn't matter when the one person I'm supposedly trying to build a future with can't accept all of me.
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on the bachelorette trip i was asking jess you know the bride's sarah sister-in-law i was like hey how did this go like what was this what was this she's like ask me anything go go for it and i was like did you poop and i didn't even ask and she brought it up and she was like she's like i don't know if i pooped because honestly they just like grabbed the truck rolled it up and went about their way and i asked and they wouldn't tell me if i pooped but she for sure pooped she thinks she pooped and i'm like how can this guy handle that how can you have someone seriously and it's like yeah okay you can keep the the fainter up by your head like you
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And there's so many what ifs. Like so many people can't handle blood. So many people aren't squeamish. But to like then be like, Oh, I'm going to accidentally fart. Yeah. And then you get punished for it.
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So much where you're like, I'm done. I'm over this. I'm done with this.
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Like, Justin and I, we went to Amsterdam recently, and I bought this beautiful... Delft tulip holder. It's like a flower vase.
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And honestly, like that's just that's, you know, Karen and Doug, that's their love. And I don't think I'll get 20 years because it's we're year six now and I'm getting a little more brazen with my toots.
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So there is a comment here from ask Lisa how and it looks like a very well thought out comment and OP does respond to it. Let him go. I know from personal experience that a man who gets upset over something as small as a toot will end up with many more irks as the relationship progresses. Yeah. Let's say you get past the toot incident and eventually get married.
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And on the way back from Amsterdam, we had a crazy red eye. We were just so tired, so out of it. We didn't sleep on the flight. We go through customs. I end up somehow Justin lost his passport in like customs as we went back through. I thought we left the gift bag with all the souvenirs on the TSA belt and
Two Hot Takes
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Are you willing or even able to not fart in bed? I don't think that's a possibility because most everyone fart shortly after getting into bed and fart again when they get up in the morning. You have no control over that. If you try to hold your gas regularly to avoid farting in front of him, you will likely end up with serious gastrointestinal problems within a couple of years.
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No man is worth having to walk on eggshells to avoid irking him suddenly. My guess is that he has been looking for a reason to break up with you for something completely unrelated to you or anything you've done. Don't contact him. If he doesn't contact you, the toot breakup has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
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If he does contact you, don't answer or respond to any of his attempts. I bet his phone messages and texts will get more desperate or turn angry. A simple I'm sorry is useless because there will be more senseless irks for him to explode about anything as time goes on. In my mid-20s, I married a man who had some quirks that I never understood.
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For the two years we lived together, he never once pooped at home. He would stop at his parents' house or hold it for 45 minutes until he got to work. On weekends, he went to Lowe's or fast food restaurants near the house to poop. There were other quirks, but it's too much to post about. Then, six weeks after we got married, he moved out one day while I was at work.
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It was stunning because we hadn't had any arguments or issues that I was aware of. He finally admitted the reason he left was because he had bought a new car for his ex-girlfriend before we met. She had the car, he was paying for the car, insurance, and all her parking tickets. He said he left so he could go through the legal process to get the car from her without me finding out about it.
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He came back home, and I helped him get it back. Yikes. Wow. Wow. After that, I realized he had a bad habit of keeping secrets from me and I didn't know who this man really was. Save yourself from all the BS of his quirks and find someone who isn't so quick to end your relationship because of something so insignificant as your bodily functions. You deserve better. Yeah.
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OP responds to Lisa, okay? Hi, Lisa. Would you believe me if I said that after this farting in bed incident that I posted, we spoke about it, got over it, and then moved on? We are currently now driving to his hometown, which is a two-hour drive from where he currently lives. And while we're in the car, I tell him, quote, hey, I need to fart. I had a heavy breakfast before we took the road.
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Turns out I reached out to airport security and they were able to track us through security into a lounge to the plane. And we got on the plane with the gift bag. So our gift bag with my flower vase got left on the plane and Delta never found it. And I had like all these really good Stroopwafel cookies and this tulip thing. And I was crushed.
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And guess what his response was? Can you hold it in? That just did it for me. Bye. I think I'm in the wrong relationship.
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I want him to. We've said this again and again, and people are annoyed with it at this point. Whatever. Justin just doesn't toot. And if he did, I think... I've had relationships in the past where like I've I don't care. I openly toot in front of them. Yeah. You don't toot in front of me. It's like I'm starting to because there's a lot of times where like I can't hold it in.
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I don't want to hold it in. So I'm starting to let him rip. Yeah. He hasn't noticed.
Two Hot Takes
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Anyways, we're moving on. We're leaving this one. But okay, one last story for Love It or Leave It. Love it. Huzzah. Huzzah. HelloFresh.com pre-designed menu, easy to follow steps, is so nice. It's one less task I have to mentally think about and stress over. And the food always tastes amazing. Every HelloFresh meal we've tried is flavorful, tasty, filling, good. And you'll always have variety.
Two Hot Takes
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I go, it's like one thing I really wanted from the trip. I was so crushed.
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That's up to 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com slash hellofreshpodcast. Links in the description. Ooh.
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Ah, yeah. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Okay. Do you guys remember what's in the box? No.
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How many of you out there have been with us since the days of the box? look at that look at that tie-in yeah so this one is coming from r slash relationship advice titled my 21 male girlfriend 20 female has a creepy box above the wardrobe this is a valentine's day theme love it or leave it who says wardrobe anymore i'm
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I literally bought flowers for it. Wait, you never got it back? We lost it. It was gone. Delta lost it. Yeah. I think someone stole it. I think someone like saw this nice gift bag with Stroopwafel in a vase and was like, yay, free present.
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We have been together for just over a year and we have never had any issues apart from minor arguments that were easily resolved. Up until recently, I have never noticed anything strange about her behavior. A few days ago, she left her room at university to go to a lecture in the morning and left me in there. Up until that day, I had never looked through her things as I've never felt the need to.
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She has this space above the wardrobe where she keeps boxes and stuff and I couldn't see inside them. Boredom got the better of me and I wanted to see what she was storing. So I found a box at the back, which was like a Ted Baker cardboard box that a handbag had come in or something. And when I opened it, I found so many random things that I used to own.
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There were odd socks in there that she had taken, a toothbrush that I had thought I had lost after our holiday, bits of hair from presumably my comb, toenail clippings, receipts that I assume she stole from my wallet. She even has things like empty wrappers of food that I know were mine. There was a piece of glass in there, but I don't know where that is from.
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A USB phone charger, a half-used bar of soap, boxer shorts, used gum, a spoon, used plasters from God knows where. Honestly, the things in the box were so random, but I recognized a lot of little bits that had gone missing over the past year. The most worrying thing was was a used condom I found in there. This sounds like a making of a voodoo doll. I don't even know how she managed to keep that.
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And a few empty condom wrappers as well. I even found a little tablet in there that looked a lot like my antibiotics that I took for my tonsils before Christmas. And I definitely remember losing one of my last dosage. I can't remember what else because I just put it back and left. She doesn't know I found it yet. My girlfriend behaves normally and this is the first time I've seen anything weird.
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She has never acted obsessive or creepy or anything. I don't want to confront her about it because she will know I was looking through her things. But then again, what else am I supposed to do? I love her so much, but I'm genuinely scared. I have been sat here trying so hard to come up with logical explanations as to why she is doing this. Any ideas?
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Can we talk about the tie trick? This is like a brief tangent. You go first. You go first.
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I think if you're using condoms as your main form of birth control, the best thing you can do is take it off and then unwrap the extra and tie it like you would a balloon and then squeegee it down to the bottom to make sure there's no holes.
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It's heartbreaking. But the other day, Valentine's Day was coming up and he goes, I have something for you. And I was like, what? Like, okay. He's like, do you want it early or do you want it for Valentine's Day? I'm like, give it to me early. I hate waiting. And I open it and it's the tulip holder. It's the vase. He had ordered another one from Holland and got the same one that I lost.
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I just like think everyone should know because then you know if you need to take a plan B, you just know what you're working with. And then the condom is securely fastened, so if you're a dude and you need to take that condom when you go, because you might need to, there's some goofies out there, then it's secure. It's not going to leak in your pockets.
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Do you want the ring back? I'm going to cry. This is so funny to me. What were you going to say?
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I'm like, I'm just, I can't, my eyes are watering. I'm so, you guys have had a twitching eye all day.
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Because the toenail clippings are really weird. The toothbrush is weird.
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The hair that looks like it just came out of a comb. That's so weird. I mean, you would almost like think like, I don't know why. And clearly... Loot it all? What? Loot it all?
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Well, that a little bit, but like... Because I heard... I think I heard you read it or say that as I was reading it. Yeah. But I would almost be like, Pika? Like she's just eating random crazy shit, but like she's clearly not eating it because it's there in a box. I think the one that really threw me for a loop though is like the used condom.
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That's so sweet. That is what everyone deserves. That is love. Thoughtful. It was not like it's a beautiful gift. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars. It's just thinking of someone. And this is pathetic. Yeah. He's threatened by his girlfriend's dad getting her a card. Mm hmm.
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The used condom. I know. The condom wrappers, like, weird, but, like, to keep the used condom. And it's like, is it sealed, or did she drake it up her passage? I don't think so.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
might be but honestly if i found someone that i was just dating like if i dated them for a year like at this point if we're six years deep engaged and i found a box of stuff i'd be like therapy well yeah but i think if you're six months in and you find a box of your stuff your body parts and your toothbrush and whatever like body parts okay I think at that point I would leave.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Because I'm like, I mean, that's a decent amount of time, though. People think they're, I mean, we knew at a year. I knew I wanted to marry you at a year. So, I mean, that's in pretty deep, I guess.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. But I get it. I get like a year is so long to where you're like, you know, everything else has been great. She's got no other red flags. This is just a box, whatever. Yeah. I could see a lot of people being able to move past it. For me, a year... I don't know if I would be at a year.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I would too, especially the context too, right? Like with the things like the toenail and the hair and the condom, Did you put it in the trash? Like, it was securely in the trash, and then she dug it out of the trash?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Or are you just, like, kind of a dirty guy, and you cut your nails on the sink and left the clippings there, and they were just easy to dupe into a bag, like, swoop, you know, off the counter? I don't think any of that matters. It doesn't matter?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I think it makes it worse. Like, if she's digging through the trash...
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Update. The other boxes just had her clothes in it or were empty. Okay.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Top comment. At least your poop isn't on those socks in the box. Excuse me? Don't you remember the girl who wiped with only socks?
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
They just won't stop. I'm going to look so crazy on this episode.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Okay. Update number two. My girlfriend is currently in the bath, and I took this opportunity to take another look at the box. She's been completely normal and unsuspecting, that I know of. A lot of people asked to see the contents of the box, so here it is. We used to have a link to a picture. However, the link no longer works. But some people were describing the box.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
They said, why are there three phones in the box? Whose phones are those? What happened to the owners? I don't know about two of them. The smashed iPod is my first generation iPod Touch that I had in a box somewhere. Didn't even notice it was gone. So she's digging through his things. Yep. That's the part that would really freak me out. That is weird.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
OP adds after sharing that link, after reading the advice comments, I'm torn. I don't believe that my girlfriend would hurt me, but I don't know how to approach her with this odd behavior. I feel sick and afraid when I think about the box, but then I think of her cute face and I can't bring myself to confront her about it.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm trying so hard to think of a normal, rational explanation to tell myself this isn't weird. We can't come up with one either. I'm sorry, my dude. It's weird.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It's weird. Ah, that looks like more than one dosage of medication. So this is people's responses to the picture. I wish we had it so bad. Oh, he goes, there was a single loose antibiotic that you can't see an image. No idea where the other medication is from. Looks like contraception, but she isn't on the pill as far as I am aware.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yep, had a quick Google, and it is most definitely a contraceptive pill. But they don't look used, which makes this even stranger. And penicillin, which can be used for a lot of different things. So you cannot say everything in the box is yours, question mark? Which that is weird. Yeah. Because we hear about, like, obviously she hasn't killed him yet, so whatever.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But, like, serial killers keep trophies. Like, you hear about that. It was on you. Didn't you? The guy on you, like, he kept teeth in the box.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Too scary. Yeah. Someone goes, to me, it looks like a box of souvenirs. A normal souvenir is a greeting card or maybe a found coin, a used Q-tip or anything with bodily fluids taken without permission or agreement. That's abnormal. Worst case scenario, mental illness and gone girl-esque plans to potentially frame or trap you if you leave.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Best case, mental illness and a problem with obsession and stalking behavior.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. And someone else responds to that comment and goes, the fact that the condom, hair, and Q-tip are in wrappers shows that she took time with these things, not just compulsively grabbing things of yours and stashing them. If everything in that box is related to you, then you need to find out what those mystery phones have to do with you. Oh, my God.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I bet there is video of you two fucking or something or some other stashed digital keepsakes.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
think of this possibility but now i'm like it makes sense like i did watch gone girl actually surprisingly i think the picture that we we obviously don't have it like that's also providing a lot of more context for everybody because like all of these things are in baggies yeah the baggies someone goes the baggies are a red flag for me yeah she was very deliberate yeah so the toenail clippings baggies q-tips bagged up with gloves condoms baggies like
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But it's like maybe she has contamination issues and she's just like worried. But like then it's like, why do you have contamination issues? You're not scared of contamination enough to where you'll take a condom out of the trash, but you don't want your own DNA on it.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I don't know. I'm just like, I'm trying to wrap my mind around this. Final update. Okay. Okay. I don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign. Oh. She kind of brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal at all. I told her that the gross stuff was unacceptable and that she was wrong to take my Parker pens that belonged to my granddad. She said that she had the intention of returning them to me.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah, I like that. It's just cute. It's adorable. People on the comments really, I think, are on the same page as us here. Top comment, your partner is a dipshit. Yeah. Next one down, tell your partner Reddit said he's a petty dipshit. Is he jealous of your dad? How ridiculous. This next one down, I, a woman, buy my grandmother cards every year. Fuck me, right? Mm-hmm.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It was the best case scenario compared to the other possible explanations. She said that she was keeping them because they made her feel close to me. I guess I can understand that, or at least try to, because I love her.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Sorry, not to judge. I'm judging. I'm judging. She said she will dispose of the things in the box. I am quite satisfied with that. We have agreed that in the future she will keep things like movie tickets from a date. Things that are normal. She said that she kept the condom and wrapper because she thinks... Oh, no. What's this face? What? Oh, no.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
She said that if the condom didn't work and she is pregnant, that she wanted to keep it as memorabilia of what happened. She said that she can see that it was strange now, but at the time she wanted to keep it and didn't mean any harm. Thanks for all the concerned messages. We have talked and worked through this and are excited at the possibility of a pregnancy.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I mean, maybe it busted. I mean, what if it busted? And like it literally busted and that's the one she kept because it busted.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Also, how do you go from like, hey, babe, I know you were trying to keep my toenails and toothbrush and hair and Q-tips to feel close to me. But next time, keep a movie stub.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Yeah. She I mean, clearly there's people out there that have like kleptomania.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
Like, Lauren, you dealt with something like it honestly reminds me of what you dealt with more than anything. Someone who just has an issue with truly stealing for the sake of stealing. Yeah. Whether it's. I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And I think that might be what this is. The thing that freaks me out is the fact that she then said, oh, I might be pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
And that's the condom. Yeah. For me, I'm suspicious that she didn't pull that condom out of the trash and go gird it up into her cervix. Yeah. Because otherwise, like, unless it broke.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
But I don't know. This is crazy. This would have been a leave it for me. But we have no updates after that. OP has since deleted his account. Oh, yeah. And we will never know.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
My God, you guys. Original post is from March 3rd, 2019. Oh. I don't think we're going to get- You brought us back.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
How'd you come across this? Best of Redditor updates from my amazing friend, directcaterpillar77. Nice. Love you.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
A lot gets lost in DMs and like stuff gets like not shown to me. Like I had to like dig to find like a couple positive messages that people were like, hey, like, on Patreon. They were like, hey, did you see my DM? And I'm like, no. And I had to go into, like, not even, like, message requests, but, like, hidden message requests.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
It's a lot, and a lot gets lost in the sauce. Like, honestly, the best way to, like, connect with me has been, like, Patreon. Like, I love the chat. Like, I love Group T, where we get to, like, hop on with people, and we have, like, a Zoom call, and we, like, all connect face-to-face. Like, that is really, really special. But, yeah, we can... I think... Let's do that.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
We'll do a Patreon episode and you will read everyone. Okay. I'll take a, I'll take a night off.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Some people might love it, though. Some people might love their way through it. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But that's all I got. Thank you guys so, so, so much for being here. Another episode. Head over to Patreon. February is full of fun, amazing content. Lauren's going to be on a full bonus episode. She's going to be reading them I'm not going to say a word during the readings. Oh, man.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Just have a good freaking day. Have a good day. Okay. Moving along. Moving along. This next one. Coming from Relationship Advice, 17 days old. Titled, Husband, 35 male, bought me, 31 female, the same earrings I have worn daily for the last two years. Husband and I are in our third year together. Got married legally last year. Our wedding is later in 2025.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
Take it away, Lauren. But there's a couple free bonus stories for February and a full bonus episode with me and Justin. Really good stories and always going down in the group chat. So head on over to Patreon. But other than that, until next time. Until next time.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
I've often pointed out to him that I love sweet gestures, such as receiving meaningful gifts when the occasion arises versus a gift card or a generic item. I went out of my comfort zone and asked him directly if he could buy me earrings for Valentine's Day this year. He said yes, and even asked for some brands that he could look at. I gave him some suggestions, and I let him pick for me.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He gifts me the earrings. Huggies. Not a simple stud. Today. And it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years. Every single day. I've worn them the day I met him, the day he proposed, the day we got married on paper. I couldn't hold back my honest feelings that I felt so invisible to him, that my doubts of him not caring about the little things were just confirmed by this.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
He got upset at me for getting upset at him. Fellow ladies, how would you have felt? You're an earrings gal.
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204: Love It or Leave It..
It sounds like it's the exact same pair I've been wearing for the last two years. Every single day. Yeah. And it seems like it couldn't just be a coincidence, which makes me wonder, like, were you so scared of getting something wrong that you got the same ones you know would already work? Like, I'm like, is he neurodivergent?
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204: Love It or Leave It..
And maybe he was just really nervous and wanted to get something he knew you would like. Because me, like, I love something and I buy it in two different colors or five different colors. Like, that's me.
Two Hot Takes
204: Love It or Leave It..
I'm like, is it that? And he does see you. He sees you so much. He got you the pair that he knew you would love.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Goofy. And you know what I just found? I went to go look at the post to see if there's any other comments from Opie.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Is it post-wedding? I don't know. Okay. I don't know if it's post-wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's an update. Let's get into it. So I met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two hours about everything. I laid it out that I thought he was, at best, a shitty friend. I went through our long history of various things over the years that has me questioning our friendship. And they grew up in this house! Holy smokes. That was the bulk of our conversation.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We then turned to the breakup with Leslie and the shit show of the last six months. Throughout the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness, I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has shown up to my house in the middle of the night. I did not go for a restraining order. When I go out, I do not go to places that I know her and her family like to go.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She has implied to her family and mutual friends at various times that I cheated and or that I took advantage of her financially, neither of which is true at all. I've held my tongue to not embarrass her about these things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows all of that and yet is demanding once again that I put Leslie's feelings before my own.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no, no. I know you're going to be so, you're going to be good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I said, quote, you and everyone need to stop coddling her like she is a fucking child. Dave concedes that Leslie has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup, but he says, quote, she feels she did not get closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening where she can talk to you to get that closure.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What closure? You broke up. You lied to me about your extensive debt for four years. What are we going to do?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Not at a wedding. Dave's like, well, I'm already paying for security, so you guys might as well have closure there. He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant about paying off her debt and paid off almost $10,000 of the credit card debt. She wants to talk to me about her progress.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
To see if that might cause me to change my mind. It will not. I asked him, quote, so do you expect me to go to the wedding and talk to her? Because I have her blocked everywhere. And date or not, I do not plan to say a single mumbling word to her. He said, quote, I fully expect she would lose it if y'all do not talk at the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told him if that is the case, then for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie come. Boom. That's it. And OP needed to hear that. Yep. I love this. Dave lost it at this point. Did he now? Yeah. He said, quote, fuck you and your shit. I don't need it. So I said, then the wedding is off. He left. So that is the state of things.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's terrifying. My God. I watched the episode with you, Shane and Courtney, and you had the pasta PowerPoint and you were just like, it was the guy who made like a how to cook PowerPoint presentation for his girlfriend.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Holy. He just threw away a lifelong friendship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wow. I mean, you blew it. And honestly, someone that's looking at venues and putting up a tent at my family's farm and like this was such a gift. Like this was truly a gift. He saved you at minimum $10,000 by offering up his home. And now you have to find a location last minute. That sucks so bad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The whole thing. And all you had to say is like, Leslie, our wedding is not the time or place. Like if you want closure, get it after. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Did he think, like, pulling at that heartstring would work? Like, did he find that was, like, did he think that was his best tactic?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, she's paid off 10K. Like, maybe you should actually hear her out. No.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. A lot of people were speculating like, hey, maybe Dave is sleeping with Leslie and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like people went off the rails. And OP does have a comment here. Can all but guarantee you that Dave is simply doing what Kim wants him to do. Yeah. Doubt he is sleeping with her. I have no reason to suspect that based on his behavior and her behavior.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have no idea why he would want me to get back with her if that was what is going on. Mm hmm.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
yeah insane that would be a weird movie if um dave was sleeping i know and op does want to make this clear too because a lot of people are like well everyone has debt like just because she has debt doesn't mean you shouldn't be with her and op says the debt isn't the issue for me it is that she lied about it the line is the issue the debt is what she just lied about yeah So, whew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think at this point, I feel like OP's being pretty fair.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
God, I love when they're fresh out of the oven. I'm scared. It is coming from AITAH titled, Am I the asshole for banning my husband from all doctor appointments after he repeatedly messes with me while I'm pregnant? So the dad's not allowed to go to the pregnancy appointments. What is he doing? Bringing you a whoopee cushion? What's happening? So I'm currently pregnant.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
About six months along, and my husband has been doing this thing every time we go to a doctor appointment. He'll drive me to the appointment. Then, when I'm about to get in the car, he drives forward a little, then reverses, then drives forward again. He does this a few times, and it always frustrates me. He thinks it's hilarious and says he's just messing with me.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I started to get really frustrated. I told him it bothers me, but he just brushed it off and said I'm overreacting and that he's just having fun. We had a big fight about it the other day. I tried to explain how it's making me feel and he got defensive, saying I need to lighten up and that it's just a joke.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told him it wasn't funny anymore and it wasn't something I wanted to deal with during my pregnancy. The final straw was when he did it again before a doctor appointment yesterday and I was just done. I ended up calling my mom to take me instead and told my husband he was banned from all future appointments. Well, now he's furious.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I have to be careful because there are ignorant people all over. All over. But sometimes I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, not gender specific.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's demanding to be there for the next appointment because it's the one where we'll find out the baby's gender. He says this is a huge moment. And I'm being unfair by not letting him come. I told him I need him to respect my boundaries. And this is one of the ways I'm doing that. But he keeps insisting it's just a silly little thing.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And now he's calling me unreasonable for making a big deal about it. Am I the asshole? Wow. Unfair. You're being unfair by not letting him come.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Okay, finally. Someone is meeting me on my level. We're not leaving until seven.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's like she's like, she'll open the door. And then he'll drive? And then he'll drive. So it's like she's opening the door and like trying to get in the car and he like lets his foot off the gas to like roll away. I'm like kind of scared because I'm like, okay. And then he backs up and it's like, what have you accidentally plowed her over with the door being open? And she got ran over by the car.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Like this is so dangerous. And she's six months pregnant. Like she's not. She's not little.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, this is so risky and rude. Maybe she's got edema on her ankles and she just wants to get in and relax and go to her appointment safely without added stress. And it's the fact that, okay, maybe one time is funny, but hey, I don't like this. Don't do it again. No, you're going to still do it. And he keeps doing it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She's not laughing. No, it's almost like someone it's just like it's teasing. It's belittling, degrading. Like, I don't know if you've ever had someone do this to you. It's like you ask for a dollar and then they're like, oh, yeah, here. Oh, no, here, I mean at this time.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And it's like at a certain point, you just stop even wanting the dollar because you just feel so bad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have not read that one. And now I'm instantly like, why do I feel hot inside?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. Honestly, she should get him back that way somehow.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I'm like, it's also like, I think you kind of, we kind of have to change the name. Like it is like, okay, it's a sex reveal because you know, but I just think it's like, it's so frustrating to me when you watch a couple that they want, you can tell what they want.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And they don't get disappointed. And then they just like pout. And it's like, why did you do this publicly?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, no, I just saw one probably a couple weeks ago now, but it's replaying in my head like it's fresh. This couple was doing it and they had like three little girls. They had like three daughters already. And you can tell he wanted a boy and they got another girl and he's just pissed, stomping off. And it's like, Your three daughters are there with you. Oh, that's sad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. Well, today... I don't know if it's going to be any better. It's okay. I don't know if it's going to be any better. You went viral recently and it was like the most, oh, it's just like, it's everything. Like I've never resonated with someone more. You're like, that's not fair. It's okay. I'm an adult. I died. Oh my God. Thank you so much.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No. So, I don't know. I'm kind of for this. Yeah. I feel like he's got to earn back his ability to go. Like, hey, I haven't cut you off from being in the birthing room yet, buddy, so... You're on thin ice.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. That's a bare minimum. But can't you, can you hear the devil's advocates coming in and being like, but this is too far, like blocking him from experiencing this. This is his child too. Like, can you hear the devil's advocates?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think so. I'm so curious to see what the comments think on this one. Yeah. Top comment, though. Not the asshole. And honest question. Has he always been this much of an immature, disrespectful jerk? Woo. Because it's only going to get worse once your baby arrives. Good luck. Oh. Ooh.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. And maybe they just said, like, good luck. Like, maybe it was nicer than I read it. But the way you did it was like, good luck, good luck. That's how I'm envisioning it. Good luck. Next comment down. Yes, especially when he starts having to share you with somebody else, the baby, and isn't getting all your attention anymore. Which is probably what this is actually about.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh. I think you're spot on with that. Because this is how he gets some attention back. This is how he gets a little control back.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He should. There's another comment here. So many with gold boxes. People really were lighting them up. Not the asshole. He doesn't respect your very reasonable boundary. His emotional intelligence needs some work. Also, jokes involving a vehicle and a pregnancy are not funny. That's just scary. That's what I was saying. Jokes involving a motor?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's been so many people that have accidentally gotten ran over by their cars lately.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't think my partner's going to let me use a can opener when I'm pregnant. If I ever go down that road. Like, there's no way. No.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You need to adjust your mic? Okay, I'll come in.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Let me know I'll be there. Yeah. Like, what... I literally I'm so proud of her because if this would have been me, I would have I would have kicked the car. I would put a dent in it. I would have like this. Oh, my God. This is such a bad thing to admit. So when I was a kid, you kick a car. It was really bad. So my dad had this like old Toyota something.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It was like a really cute little two door car in gold. And I was having a meltdown. I think it was like seven, eight. And he was going somewhere. And I don't think I think I didn't want him to go. So I tried to get in the car so he couldn't go because I think he was going back to California from Minnesota. So I was like, oh. I was trying to throw a fit.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So when I was teeing up a theme for you, I was like, of course we have to like talk about like, is that fair? Is that not fair? I love you. Yes. So we're going to get into all these crazy stories. There's some wedding ones, partnerships, relationships, everything. It's nothing's off limits.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And so I sat in the front seat of the car and I put my feet on the door and like kicked it out super hard to the point I actually bent the door upon itself like in the frame. And he needed to like get a whole new door. It like wouldn't shut right anymore.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
you like mess with the like frame of the car yeah yeah no like okay strong little girl I was like a little hulk I don't know adrenaline took over it's really sweet though because you didn't want dad to go I didn't want him to go or like something like that and I'm just like so proud of her because like if this were me I would have put dents in that car like or I would have done the opposite and been like oh he's he's not getting enough attention and like suppressed my needs to like help my partner because he's mad
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh my gosh. Curious if there's any comments from OP. I mean, it's 13 days old. We should have a few, yeah?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know. OP does respond to that one about saying it's not even funny. You're right. It's not even funny. And I don't know why he kept doing it as if we've never talked about it before. But he said that my decision was way out of line and claimed I'm trying to rob him from being a father.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And even said that he's worried what I might do when the birth of our baby comes. And now his mom is trying to talk some sense into me. But I already told her to talk to her son, not me. Whoa. He's involving his mom?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Don't. Do not tell me with a good time. The people are hearing that and they're like, oh my God, is this going to be another three hour long episode? No, because it was terrible to edit. So no, that probably won't ever happen again. But I love you guys. And I know you're going to love today's guest. Hi, I'm Morgan. Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Thing is, he does this in other occasions. He's always been the jokester of the family. Usually, I don't get so upset about his pranks, but this is just frustrating. Also, I forgot that his mom told me that I'm being hormonal and that I'm taking it out on her son because she thought my decision was over the top. But I don't know. That's why I'm asking here. I hate this comment though.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
People are like, why don't you just drive yourself? Oh, okay. And Opie goes, I can't drive from pre-existing medical issues and my mom has agreed to help.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Which her husband obviously knows that she can't drive. So again, for him to be so despicable, like she's relying on him. That's her only way to get to the doctor. You should like, it's so nice. She has her mom and her mom will support her and help her. But like, She shouldn't have to do that when she has a partner.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And they're all going to have we're going to have to decide, like, is that fair or are they being a little cuckoo?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Instantly. I think we should be able to put adults in timeout. And I think if you call a pregnant woman hormonal and try to like you're overreacting your your hormones. It's OK. It's OK. Instant timeout. Like, I don't know where we need to put people, but like they need to go in a closet.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
OK, let's dive in. OK. Okay, getting into it. This is coming from AITAH, 28 days old. Fresh. It's titled, Am I the asshole for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding because they do not want me to bring a plus one?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I, during shark week, I've realized like I go, I go crazy. I'm like, well, one, I'm a hypochondriac, but then I'm like, okay, it's like PMDD starting to fit. Like, I don't know. I literally, I almost bit my fiance's head off the other day because he didn't drop my package off at FedEx. And I'm, and I'm thinking about it now. And I'm like, he ran out of time.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But in the moment I was like, the world is ending. Like, I can't trust you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, what the fuck, Morgan? Like, that was crazy.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It would make it worse. But I know, I know. I was like, I was on one because I went from like being mad about that. And then I got on a plane and I put on. Have you seen the new Mufasa movie? I have not. Cried my eyes out the whole flight. Cried my eyes out. Whole flight, just crying. I've got a picture. I don't know what it is about planes. Planes, like, really make me cry.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
AI overview here coming from Google. People cry on planes for a combination of psychological and physiological. physiological reasons emotional factors travel can be stressful and emotional physical effects of altitude the lower air pressure in the cabin can cause mild hypoxia which can lead to mood imbalances and feeling more emotional okay so i'm having hypoxia hypoxia
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm literally, I'm crying, and it was like a happy song. It's like, I always wanted a brother, and I'm bawling. I'm like, what the fuck? These CGI lions, it's so beautiful. What is wrong with me? Nothing. It's just the hypoxia or whatever. Hypoxia. I actually have a picture of like recent flights and movies just to keep track of which ones I've cried on. Mufasa is the most recent.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That is quite emotional. Goodrich. Goodrich. The new one with Michael Keaton and Mila Kunis. Ooh. Cried. Juror number two. No. Directed by Clint Eastwood. It's got Nicholas Holt. Tony Collette. Cried.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Jesse Eisenberg, Kieran McCulkin. Cried. Yeah, I've got quite the list here. Wait, you're on lots of planes. I've unfortunately had too many flights.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, I should watch that one, too, because I'll probably cry. But I just like there's something about it. So I don't know. Emotions get the best of us.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I think she's being quite reasonable in this, actually.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Fed. It's not funny. Up. No official update on this one yet. That's the last comment we got from OP 13 days ago. I'm hoping for an update.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm hoping he starts making amends and groveling a little more.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Ridiculous. Up next, this one has a lot of gray area. I think we're going to really put your fairness to the test.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Scary. Ah. Ah. Everyone in the comments already, you're wrong. So this one is titled, would I be the asshole if I keep my ex's life insurance payout instead of giving it to his pregnant girlfriend?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
My ex and I were together for seven years, and we got engaged two years ago. Around that time, we both took out life insurance policies, listing each other as beneficiaries. It made sense at the time because we were planning a future together. Then, six months before the wedding, he cheated on me. I was devastated, but I forgave him because I didn't want to throw away seven years of my life.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I thought we could move past it. But two months before the wedding, he blindsided me. He left me for the same woman he had cheated with. I was completely heartbroken. I begged him to reconsider, but he told me he had moved on and that I should too. It took me a long time to heal, but I eventually accepted that he had made his choice. Over time, I worked on rebuilding my life. That was a year ago.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I updated my own life insurance policy, assuming he would do the same. Then last week, I got the unexpected news that he had passed away suddenly. Oh my God. It was shocking, but what surprised me even more was getting a call from his sister. Apparently, he never changed his beneficiary, which means I'm set to receive a $100,000 payout.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now his girlfriend, the woman he left me for, has reached out, asking me to give her the money. She's pregnant with his child and currently unemployed. She says the money should go to her and the baby because I am just his ex.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I understand that this is a difficult situation and I have sympathy for her child. But at the end of the day, this was his responsibility. He had an entire year to update his policy and he didn't. I wasn't expecting this money, but legally it is mine. I didn't take anything from anyone. It was his choice to leave things as they were.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't think I should be obligated to give it up, especially considering how he treated me. This isn't about revenge or pettiness. It's simply about the fact that I was the named beneficiary, and I see no reason why I should be the one to fix a mistake that he made. That being said, I don't want to be heartless.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm considering setting aside a small amount for the baby because none of this is the child's fault. But at the same time, I don't think I should feel guilty for keeping what was legally left to me. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And, like, I don't know. I don't know why. It is only a day old, okay? But OP has deleted this post. I have not read any of the comments. I don't know where they fall. But to like delete your post after a day. Do you think it's because the comments got crazy? I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Very. So, you know, she's getting bombarded.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, he was the one still paying the policy. I just wonder, and, like, maybe this is wishful thinking, I'm wondering if he left it and it wasn't, like, an oversight. It was genuinely, like, I feel so bad for what I did. Like, this is what she deserves if anything happens to me. Not expecting, like... Okay, that...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Here's the situation. Last summer, I bought my grandparents' house. This house was the hangout spot for my friends and I throughout our childhood. This includes my friend Dave. The house has a sizable amount of land, which includes a lake and a gazebo. I was supposed to buy the house with my now ex-girlfriend, Leslie.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's where I'm like, but that is like, that's probably fairytale, like cuckoo Morgan wishful thinking.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I'm like, I don't know. And then, you know, he could just be like, it was out of sight, out of mind. Like that I could see myself like not updating it because it's like, I don't know, like Last, like, last thing?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. And okay. Well, and here's where I go on that. Like, I'm like, when people do life insurance, typically it's like, it's to pay for anything.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
For their funeral, ensure their family, offspring, whatever is taken care of. If the baby's his, right? Like, cause that. Whatever. You could, like, specify, like, you do a DNA test. Let's make sure the baby's his. And then I'm going to put some aside for the child. I think that would be the bare minimum she has to do, to be honest.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I have a little binder. It came in like a big ass binder. Like my lawyer meant business. Whoa.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But it was really... It was, like, it was a really hard thing to do. And I'm not married yet. We're engaged. And we are going to do a prenup and stuff. But, like, if something happened to me today, I would want to make sure he has something. And if I wouldn't have made my will... It wouldn't have gone to him. It would have immediately just gone to my parents.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
As my next of kin, he would have gotten nothing. So I made sure, like, if we are together at my time of death, he's taken care of. Wow. But, like... This guy didn't do anything. And, like, don't you think, like, you have a baby on the way? Like, I guess, like, I get where she's coming from, where it's like, it shouldn't be my problem to fix a mistake he made.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But going through the process of getting approved to buy, I found out that she had massive amounts of credit card debt and personal debt that she hid from me throughout our four years together. I decided to break up as a result. That was about six months ago. I met Leslie because Dave's long-term girlfriend, Kim, is Leslie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set to get married in April.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Does that make sense? Like, it was an oversight? Yeah. I know. I wish we had, like, more comments from OP because, like, I think context for me would really matter too because like she says like, oh, he blindsided me two months before the wedding. Okay, two months before the wedding, you're probably losing all your deposits. I'm like, did you lose all that money? How did that split happen?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Too long. Okay, copy. Well, aim for like an hour and 40. Perfect. Hopefully not. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think for me, I know she said it, this isn't about pettiness. This isn't about revenge. And I understand where it's just such a mistake, but you get $100,000. Walking away from $100,000, that is life-changing money. So I get it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I get just in a way you could almost, even if you are wrong, convince yourself that it's right and justified because it is such a huge amount of money and life-changing.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Completely agree. And I think that's what she's kind of rationalizing here. And maybe she was eaten up in the comments and that's why she deleted it. Let's see. Top comment. Quote, you are just the homewrecker. Like basically implying that's what OP should have said to the girlfriend. And someone goes, this is what OP should counter with.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If OP is just the ex and a fair partner is so important to him, why did he not change it?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I want contacts. An OP deleted account, deleted the post. The account's gone. Account, everything. Everything. So I'm like, where are you?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think so. I'm going to try to find, see if like anyone actually gave a vote here. Because most people are just like, most people are, I'm going to be honest, they're maybe being a little insensitive. They're like, take your money, hon. Well, someone goes, technically, she's also an ex-girlfriend now.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, I don't know about that. I'm like, he died. Someone responds to it and goes, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm like, yeah, I felt uncomfortable reading it. Is she seriously pregnant, like you know for a fact, or is she just saying it? Also, it is legally yours. I don't know if there's repercussions to giving it away. I'm sure it's considered a gift and she'd owe a hefty chunk to the IRS.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Like, how would you transfer it without them finding out? I'd keep it, and if the kid is real, fork over maybe $10-20k.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I know someone goes keep it, but be prepared for the baby mom to try to sue you for it. It's a fight. It's a fight you can afford. Yeah. Like might not be fun, but yeah, I don't know. I would personally. What would you do? It's so hard to imagine yourself in their shoes, but... Is it weird that I would, like... Would you go off-grid?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When I was buying the house, they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo, which I agreed to do. In December, I started dating again. Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks we are going to get back together and has tried multiple times to make that happen. I've told her in no uncertain terms that isn't happening.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think I would be okay with some of the money going towards that, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I would absolutely need a DNA test because he could have died and she could have been like, oh, my God, he has money. Now I'll get nothing. So she could have gone out and purposefully tried to get pregnant and then just say it's his. You know, also depends on math when the baby comes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Okay, Phoebe Buffay. Take it easy over there. I don't know. People got to eat.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Fuck. Like, did he have any causes he loved? I don't know. That's a tough one. You guys, we might have to put this to a poll. Yes. We might have to put this one to a poll. Go to Spotify for the poll because they said, I don't know. I still don't know where I fall. I'm like, maybe they split it three ways. I don't know. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think she should definitely ask if they need help covering the funeral.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. I don't know. We're not going to tie us down to one thing. We're going to see what the people think.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Do the poll, everyone. I'm scared. Do the poll.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's crazy. It hurts my brain. Yeah. A lot.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. I like run out of things to say. This next one, I will not run out of things to say.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Seven days old, coming from AITH, titled, My husband needs to touch my breasts to fall asleep. I'm exhausted and need a divorce. Am I the asshole? Oh, my God. Throw away because my main has some personal info and pretty much what the title says. My 26 female husband, 30 male, and I've been together for five years and he needs my breasts, boob, whatever to fall asleep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Every single day he goes to bed at around 1030, 11 something and calls me over when I'm not even feeling sleepy just so he can touch my boobs for his own sleep. From the very beginning of our relationship, he's had this habit. At first, I thought it was cute and kind of endearing sometimes, and I didn't mind it. But ever since we're married, it's become suffocating.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It gets worse with how no matter what position I try to sleep in, he always reaches for me. If I turn away, he'll spoon me and still find a way. If I push his hand away or say I'm not in the mood to be touched, he either whines like I'm depriving him of something essential or gets genuinely upset. Sorry, I'm gagged over here.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Dave and Kim have asked me to not bring a plus one to the wedding for Leslie's sake. Ugh. I have told them that this request is ridiculous. This wedding is happening at my house using my land and I'm not allowed to bring a date because of a crazy ex. If that is the case, then they need to find a new venue for the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He claims it helps him relax and fall asleep, but I feel like I'm just an emotional support object at this point. I've tried compromising and suggesting that he hold my hand, cuddle a pillow, or even just rest his hand on my stomach instead. Nope, it has to be my breasts, or he just can't sleep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And if I try to set boundaries, he makes me feel guilty, saying things like, so now you don't love me anymore? Or this is a normal thing between partners. This has been wearing on me for years, but lately I just dread going to bed. I feel like my body isn't even mine in my own home. The main reason this makes me so mad is because this is the only form of affection I get from him.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Forget cuddles or random kisses. He doesn't even give me a hug. A hug.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The last time I got one was on my birthday, and that was a year ago. He only needs my boobs. I finally snapped last week after a long day when he reached for me again, and I told him I can't live like this anymore. He got angry and accused me of being dramatic and said I was threatening our marriage over something so small. But to me, it's not small. It's a constant daily violation of my comfort.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What makes this even worse for me is the fact that my husband does nothing to help me at home. He goes to work at 8 and I go at 5. He comes back by 5 p.m. and I come back by 7. From 7 p.m. to 12, I have to make up for all the chores at home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., while he plays some games in his room. On weekends, he doesn't even help me. He refuses to do anything.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So naturally, I have to make up for being the bigger person." And when it's time for him to fall asleep, he calls me over just to touch my breasts while I have to wait it out until he sleeps so then I can go back to housework. He doesn't lift a finger. I know this sounds stupid and ridiculous. I probably sound like a whiny child venting, but I can't anymore.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I called my sister, who I'm closest to, and told her everything. She said that I'm weird for divorcing over something like this. I called my best friend of a decade and she said that she understands me, but divorce is just overblown. I'm going crazy. I don't even know if I'm being so ridiculous at this point. I don't even know how to bring this up to my mom, mother-in-law, or anyone else at all.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I feel like an asshole for considering divorce over something like this. Am I the asshole? Will people even take me seriously? Dude. I want to get her a taser. Me too. Okay. Get away. Stop touching me. Stop.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If you haven't gotten a hug in a year, like, I would, I would combust.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, I totally, and I totally get where it's like, it's not even, like, intimacy anymore. It's literally you just feel like a squeaky stress toy. Because it's like, if you're not getting a hug, if you're not getting kisses, if you're not getting any other...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
form of physical affection which is people's love language it's like that is so important like our bodies like literally our nervous systems and our brains and like chemicals like we need that a lot of us need that like i need to be crushed like an elephant sometimes like see that's so funny i physical touch is not one of my love languages see i like i need like if i don't get a hug i just like yeah my best friends like that and i've dated people where they're like
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They are pissed about this given the short time frame of when the wedding is supposed to happen. So we are at an impasse. Am I the asshole? Oh,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I heard this a while ago, but if like there's a guy or someone that has like an oral fixation with boobs, it's like they weren't breastfed long enough. Maybe that could be him. Maybe he wasn't breastfed long enough.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, get your hands under there. Oh my gosh. It's so nice. I know. I could, I could actually tuck stuff away under mine. It could be a hiding spot too. Oh, a hundred percent. You know, like, Oh, I put my debit card way under there. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
fun like i get it but like again you gotta give a little more and i think it's not it's really not about the boobs that's just the tip of the tit it really is like it's more so about the fact he doesn't help around the house he's not a partner yeah it's not about the boobs she's yeah it's not about the boobs she's not being met and i can't imagine what it's like for someone to not like show you love and then to be like get over here i need to hold your tit
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no. He's literally like... Come here. He's like, where's my toy? Come on to bed. Come on. Come on. Get over here. I don't care if you're tired or not. Come on, stressed toy. Literally. I would try to ruin it for him in any way I could. And that... People would call me petty. People would say, have a better communication style.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But I would literally, like, I would get, you know, like, a sound pad. And, like, anytime he goes to, like, squeeze, I'd be like, aruga. Like, I would, I would. Yeah, I would start ruining it for him. There's no way. If I can't have peace, neither should you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. But is Leslie going to bring someone? Because like if Leslie gets to bring someone. Then it should be fine. Then OP should be able to have someone there too.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
If I got to sit here, I'm going to put on Smosh. That's what we're doing. Best of Angela moments. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He should buy that thing that was on Meet the Parents or Meet the Fockers or whatever that the guy had, like the fake chest, the boobs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's trying to, like Jack, the character, Robert De Niro, trying to breastfeed the baby. He should just buy himself a A top.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It could be easy to fall into, right? Like you're with someone and at first it starts out 50-50 and then all of a sudden you realize you're the one 75% cleaning. Like I think you could slip into it easily without knowing. Oh, 100%. But I'm so curious if they slipped into it or if their relationship, that was always the dynamic.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Because I couldn't deal with a dynamic like that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Today, I am joined by the one and only Angela Ghirardano. Perfect. No, I'm not Italian and I will never try that again. And I'm actually cringing at myself that I did it the first time. I'm sorry I forced you to. Oh my God.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So for the 25 years before he met you, did he just not sleep? Man child has to go. So true. What was he doing when he was like in college or in high school? Next comment down. Nah, he must have used his mom's.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's disgusting. That's one of the things I just sometimes I wish I couldn't read.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Next comment down. We joke, but genuinely could they say something really? I just don't. Yeah, no, no, no, no. This person goes, it's not even a need because let's face it, your hand really doesn't have any more reaction to that particular skin than anywhere else on her body. If he's not touching her in a sexual way, my guess is that he needs the comfort of being able to control her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
in order to fall asleep. He's unsettled without that control, and it bothers him enough to keep him awake. He needs his favorite possession in his possession. This guy doesn't have a weird little quirk or even mommy issues. It's way more serious and dangerous than that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, I need to go look at Opie's account. Like, do we have any comments? Like, you good? Like, where are we at here? Oh, my God. Okay, we do have some comments. I tried suggesting so many things, but he just wants my boobs. He says I cannot sleep otherwise. He's not ready to compromise at all.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He calls me over when he is ready to sleep, and I have to stay there, mummified, until he falls asleep. Half of the time he wakes up if he notices me gone, which is when I try to finish the housework way earlier. I'm... You have to sit there mummified. He probably doesn't even let her go on a phone.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. He doesn't do housework. If he had done it, then I wouldn't be complaining like this. He spends his free hours doing things he likes. If I stop doing the work, then I get yelled at and he becomes upset, which is the reason I do it. He expects me to cook, clean, and also be there when he calls me.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When he calls me during chores, I have to leave them midway and wait until he falls asleep. Then I pray to the gods he doesn't wake up noticing me gone while I return to cleaning, which is the last thing I do. And I actually had a night out once with my friends after marriage. It was kind of recent. I think I got over 50 plus missed calls and I was being spammed until I reached home.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I'm not allowed to go on work trips for this very reason.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So she can't go on work trips. Her career is being impacted. She had one night out with friends. One? One night out with friends.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Unreal. I want to... This is so bad. But, like, the first thing that came into my mind is, like, I kind of want to hit his hands with a baseball bat. And, like, I know violence isn't the answer. Okay, I get it. I do. I get it. I'm so sorry. I'm like, maybe we can, like, tape oven mitts. Like, you know, like, tape some oven mitts around his hands. Like, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm like, maybe we can hypnotize him. Like, what can we do that's not violent that will make this stop?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
no I think I think there's a lot worse things you could say that would also be applicable bottom line she's gotta go this is not one do not let your family and friends convince you you're overreacting yeah you genuinely need to go and it's It's not about the boobs. I know like that's the headline here, but it's not.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's no, but this is why like there's some people that like come on the show and they'll be like, it's so sad. People have to turn to Reddit. And I'm like,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
no like thank god people can turn to reddit thank god people can go to a place where they're gonna get pretty neutral unbiased advice because we don't have a dog in this in this game like oh i don't like that saying anymore even like we don't have we don't have like like there's nothing for you to win or lose when you're helping someone that you don't know exactly so i'm like thank god reddit came for the win on this one because her mom and or her friends and whoever else sister and
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Not having her back. Like, if I heard my best friend was doing all the cooking, all the cleaning, and then she had to sit like a mummy while her partner massaged her breasts to fall asleep, like, come over.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You have a red flag next to you if you want to wave it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I do too. But I mean, OP was commenting after, you know, commenting as recent as seven days ago.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. I hope you're out there, OP. I'm going to send you the link for this. I hope you watch it. I hope you feel good about leaving. Do not feel bad. Get out.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, I'm going through it right now. Because you're engaged. Yeah. Getting married this September and there's some people in our life.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Truly. Truly. On that note, moving along. Okay. Do you want a choice on this next one?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You might get both of them. But I'll let you choose which one comes first, maybe. Okay. Option number one. Am I the asshole for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife's videotapes?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Option number two. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I love them all. Okay. Which one first though?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. So this is coming from AITAH6DaysOld, titled, Am I the Asshole for Ignoring My Wife for Throwing Away My Late Wife's Videotapes? Whew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, I think you're safe. You're reasonable. We just met. There's some people, though, that like they're not seeing anyone and they want to bring a plus one just to stir drama. See, that's what freaks me out about this story. And that's kind of similar to this where it's like I don't want to give them a plus one because like I don't want to deal with that. That's just it's my day. Yes.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah, the context does matter. Like, because then we got to know, like, how crazy do we have to get with our advice? Like, do we need to drop a pin? Like, do we need to show up? Yeah. Do we need like, yeah, like literally like, yeah, like hashtag it's not about the boob. No, hashtag not about the boob. But if you need help getting out, drop a pin and I will genuinely fly and I will get the U-Haul.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I will get the U-Haul. I know how to drive those big rigs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's a location pretty close. We could do some parking lot. Yeah, we'll get you ready. I think, you know, it's one of those things that you got to do to like doomsday prep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wasn't there a zombie movie with like Woody Harrelson and he's in a U-Haul or something or a camper? And you cried on a plane? I might have shed a tear or two. But you got to know.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my tax guy is going to love this. Okay, back to this one. I'm writing this because I don't know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanor. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks and she's turning 18. Background. Me and my late wife, Chloe, had been dating since college.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant. I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child, we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy. Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch or talking to our unborn child through the camera.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We made a promise to only show Eleanor the tapes at her 18th birthday. Fast forward two years after her birth, Chloe passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house. I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two-year-old daughter by myself.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back up dating, but every time I did, I felt like I was betraying her. Years later, when Eleanor was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday, and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Two years after, we got married.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And so I go back and forth. I think I'm kind of toting the line a little bit like where ultimately I'm like, OK, their house, their rules.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now, back to the present. Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up, and I kept all of the tapes for me to show her. Mind you, her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanor doesn't remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes, and a week ago I was talking to Wendy about it, and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talked about my late wife. I don't say things like, why can't you be like Chloe? Or Chloe was only supposed to be my first love. But I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was. Wendy has always talked to me about Chloe and how it made her sad that she can never be like her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Chloe was a model, then started working on her fashion career. And don't get me wrong, she was a really beautiful woman. while Wendy had two kids in college, and is not in the best shape. Due to her words. I love both women how they are and I've never had a preference, but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Chloe.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
whatever yeah but at the same time like you might burn a friendship because this is also their wedding day you've said yeah you've signed on board and now it's just coming down to like you not getting a plus one like i don't know like you're causing your friends some stress yeah but again ultimately it is your house i get it like i i really am right in the middle because i totally get it but it's also like does op really want to like host this that's already stressful to like host something
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I told Wendy that I love her just the way she is and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident, she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it's good that she felt comfortable enough to share her feelings. I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on the forehead.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She asked to see where the tapes were at and I showed her the box of videotapes of my late wife in the closet. Things were going fine until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter and when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching TV. I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away. All with a neutral expression. My heart dropped. And I asked her, what did she mean? And she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life. So she threw them away as a head start.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter's big surprise. We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was, so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's the morning, and I'm writing this in my office, going through my computer, trying to find old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter, because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to meet her mother, and I really thought it would bring her closer to her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I've been ignoring my wife for the past day, and she's been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is, but I really just can't even look at her right now. It's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Chloe died over 10 years ago. But I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them die.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm working on finding these files and I'm starting to think I was overreacting. I don't know what to do and I really need help. I'm nauseous.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is so devastating. This isn't the first story like this I've read either. Like, there's been multiple people that are threatened by someone's ghost.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I, I can't begin to understand that if you didn't want to be with someone who had a past and is a widow, why the fuck did you go after a widow?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
There's a scene in... 10 years since... I'm like, wait, I'm bad at math, but 10 years of them dating? Is that what she's trying to say?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think 10 years... Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up. Oh, and she was two when her mom died. So 16 years. But still, like, I don't think you ever... So 10 years of them dating. You never just, like, get over someone. Like, grief is, like, it's always kind of with you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, Khloe's ghost is probably affected as well. Like, she's probably up there, you know, like, a couple more days and she'll get to see my videos. That's so sad. Like, if I was a ghost, you know, I'd be curious. I'm nosy. I got to stick around a little. Oh my gosh. See how the videos are received. So yeah, Khloe's affected too.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't understand why it couldn't just be like, I will never be able to put my brain in this headspace. But like, it quite literally isn't about you. It's like, this is a gift for Eleanor.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It doesn't even have to do with you and your relationship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's literally for her 18th birthday. He's waited 16 years to be able to present this with her to her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And he's asking, am I the asshole for ignoring her? I don't know. No, this is so unfair.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Honestly, I'd have to... I'd be... I get so panicked and awkward and then I get too drunk. Me too. Because I just don't know what to do with myself. So I have something in my hand. I would just drink more. And you're like, oh, let me clean the gazebo. Oh, my ex. Oh, my boo. Like, this is too much. No, and like, I feel like Leslie...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I would, like, have a hard time even looking at those friends. Like, stay out of it. It hasn't even been 24 hours. I'd be like, who the fuck called you? Stay in your lane. Wendy, man. Wendy's trying to get everybody on board. Emotionally manipulate him.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What? Oh my God, Wendy. Top comment. Dear Lord, I'm honestly not one to advocate for divorce, but I do not think I could continue a relationship with someone who did something so wildly despicable. And selfish. Selfish. Repugnant. I mean, I want people to chime in with some big fancy words so I can learn them. Let's get bigger than repugnant in here about this person. This isn't jealousy.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That's a mental disorder. She stole the only vestiges of your wife that your daughter will have. That is not something you can come back from or she can apologize for. This is a line in the sand. Someone goes, I doubt she's even sorry. Just sorry for herself that OP is ignoring her. It was all premeditated. Wendy needs a doctor and divorce papers. Whoa. Both of those together.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, definitely was premeditated. Where's that box? You know, can you just show me the box? You're so right. I forgot about that. Where's the box? She asked where the box was located. Where's the box? Where's the... Why do you need to know where the box is? Yeah. Why do you want to look at it? Also, what was OP? Like, I'm curious, like... I wonder why Wendy wants to see the box. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy, are you going to help me digitalize them? Yeah. What do you want, Wendy?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's got to get in the cloud now. Yeah. Got to now. And this is not OP's fault in any way, shape, or form. No, it isn't.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We do. We have a small update. Small. Small but big. Small. Okay. We'll just fuck the comments. Let's get into this. Yeah. Go. Click. Click faster. Click. What? Oh my God. Go. Okay. Small update coming from five days ago. I didn't expect this to blow up. I came here to look for general advice. Now I have a thousand people in my DMs.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm going to be answering the questions that I'm getting about him the most. I was thinking about asking Wendy about the tapes and where she threw them out. But I saw a comment that told me to not ask her because it might give her some time to hide it or lie. Instead, when I went back home, I checked in the outside trash cans and the kitchen one, and I still couldn't find them.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Trash day isn't until Thursday, so I was confused. I finally went up to ask her, and at first, she wasn't going to tell me. I threatened with divorce, like one of you guys said, and she gave in. It turns out she kept the videotapes in her car until trash day arrived because she knew I would look through the trash. Shut the fuck up. So now I have the tapes. Thank God. But she went the extra mile?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This bitch is unhinged. Unhinged. Wendy. Wendy. Wendy needs to go. Wendy did not want him to have the tapes. I want to, like, can someone, like, send Wendy some holy water and just, like, pour it on her head?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Thank God. Thank God. Okay. Another question asked was, did Eleanor know about the tapes? No, I didn't want to ruin the surprise until if I'd known that I had a backup. She didn't know about them now, and I'm not planning on telling her until her birthday. The only problem is that I'm afraid that Wendy might tell her.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
One more question is people are asking if I'm considering divorce. Wendy never did anything like this before, and I don't want to ruin a six-year relationship. But at the same time, I really do think she needs some type of help. I'm considering asking her to go to therapy, and I'm really considering our relationship.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Wendy is really good with my daughter, and my daughter loves her and her children like family. I think Wendy is just trying to take Chloe's place with being Eleanor's mother. I'm really starting to think she has issues.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
starting that was so innocent starting a lot of people also said that if I don't divorce her I will betray my daughter my daughter is my number one and I think I should find someone better that can respect not only me but my daughter and her mother yeah it's like the space you want to hold in your new home you want it to like somehow just like honor who you lost a little bit and this is the opposite of that
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
complete opposite. There's no way there's any pictures of Chloe around the house. Like there's no way there's any memories of her. And like, I recognize like if I died tomorrow, Fingers crossed. I'm good. But I would want Justin to move on. But I would hope, like, I mean, have a little picture of me and you somewhere.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I mean, yeah, I wouldn't want it on a loop playing on a TV in my kitchen. I get it. These aren't about you. These are about the daughter. They're all about the baby.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This has nothing to do with their relationship. My face, I'm like, my face is tingling. I'm so mad.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I can't feel my lips. Look at that. I can't feel them. I'm like, I'm so upset.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I think if we want to look at, like, it wasn't just the trash. And, like, she said she threw him away. So she lied about throwing him away. But, like, it's that extra level of vindictiveness and preparedness to take that away from him to where she's planning to hold him in the car just for extra effort. Yeah. And... And she didn't actually throw them away.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
He's upset, crying in his room, ignoring you, and you don't go grab them out of your car?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She was still planning on actually throwing them away. She wasn't going to pull them out. She's tripling down. She was actually going to throw them away.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is done. Like if he doesn't get divorced.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's not if it's when. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's not if it's when. Mm hmm. Poor thing. Okay, well, about that engagement one. Here we go, I guess. Here we go. Here we go. Okay, I'm going to throw a curveball to you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Where do you think the top comment went on this one? I think everyone's like, it's your house. You can do what you want. Top comment. Pull an uno reverse. Tell them Leslie isn't allowed on your property and watch their heads explode.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So you can have that one. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents or grandparents? Or you can have this one. A day old r slash relationship advice. The double standards in my 28 female and my husband's 36 male marriage are killing me. Curveball. Oh, okay. Or engagement. I like them both. This is where I sometimes let a coin flip decide.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's flipping. It is flipping. Tails. Tails. Tails. For the proof. Engagement story. Okay, okay, okay. Here we go.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I like the active questions. It shows. Yeah. You like to clarify.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This is Dave and Kim from the gazebo. Yeah. Am I the asshole for telling the truth about why I ended my engagement to my ex's parents and grandparents? I, 26 female, was engaged for more than a year, but called it off in October. My family and friends knew, but not a lot in my ex's family and friends knew.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
His parents had grown frustrated by the chaos in their family that to them seemed to follow the end of our engagement, and they and my ex's grandparents approached me to ask why I had called everything off. This is so messy, and I feel dumb for not worrying about it, but I'll explain what happened and what I told them.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
So my ex's brother and his wife were trying to have a baby for a while and failed. Not long after ex and I got engaged, his brother and sister-in-law asked if my ex would donate sperm. They wanted to turkey baster it and act like his brother was the biofather, but they'd be honest with the kid. My ex and I talked about it, and I was fine with it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I helped him get the samples, and his brother would come and collect them and take them to his wife. It took quite a few, but it worked. Only when she got pregnant finally, she started acting weird towards me. She was jealous, like clearly jealous. She made snarky comments towards me and glared at me when I'd see her. This was going on for a few weeks.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
When my ex and I were shown the scan photos, she looked pissed that he was hugging me while we looked. Then she came to the house when I was alone and she accused me of coming between the brothers and wanting her child to grow up an only child. Like this was seriously out of nowhere. It made me feel off about things, and I asked why she was acting like a jealous girlfriend or mistress.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
She lost her shit and told me I needed to back off. I confronted my ex, and he played dumb. He said he had no idea why she was behaving that way. but I didn't buy it. And then his brother asked me if I thought his wife was being weird with my ex. Oh, fuck. I said, yep.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
We both confronted them, and she asked why it mattered how she had actually gotten pregnant as long as they got the result they wanted. X's brother almost attacked my ex. X was saying it wasn't like that and the turkey baster method wasn't working and it was all about his brother and how nothing else happened but in and out. So they fucked? He really thought we'd buy that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But meet me in the middle. In my house. Let this be easy for me and you. It's awkward having my ex come over. We were supposed to buy this house together until she lied about her massive credit card debt. Until she lied and charged it. 26% APY. That's a great comment. Yeah. The next one down is from OP responding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh my god, I'm so glad we picked this one. I walked away from him that night and I gave him back my ring. X tried to fight for me to forgive him, but I just felt foolish for agreeing to begin with. I don't know what's going on with the brother and her. I didn't stay in touch. But I told X's parents and grandparents that X slept with his brother's wife and that I got messy because of the baby.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They thanked me for my honesty and apologized for asking me. And then, a few days later, my ex DM'd me on Instagram and asked why I had to mess up his family like that. And he said I fucked his brother over more than he already had. I blocked him. It was a second account I forgot about. But I feel bad if I highlighted what his brother's dealing with before he was ready to tell anyone.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Am I the asshole? Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. I mean, it's also your story to tell too. Yeah. And they decided to ask her instead of him, their son. So clearly they're not getting a straight answer from him and they're sus and they wanted to go to the horse's mouth. So... All is fair in love and war.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It was coming for them anyway. Or like dropping the cigarette at a gas station. Like there's gas on the ground. It just takes your little spark.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
They could have done the turkey baster method. Maybe it would have taken a little longer, but... It probably would have worked all the same.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's like giving that. No, I just had a, just, it was a while ago now, but we did a live show in Utah and one of our listeners who was an ex-Mormon and had actually soaked got on stage and told us all about it. And like, yeah, it's giving that same energy. It feels like they said that, but I don't know if they did that. Why would she start acting like a jealous girlfriend? That's it. That's it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The thought of having anything else inside, anyone else's member inside of me grosses me out because I'm like, I love my fiance. Like the thought of someone else right now, like,
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I don't know. I think she actually likes the brother. I think he views it as just sex. And you think, yeah, yeah, that's what I think as well.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
The petty part of me did absolutely consider saying, well, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And then that's why she got jealous, and he's over here happily hugging his partner.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, I didn't want you to fuck my wife. This is wild, dude. This is wild. I want to know. I want the brother to come forward and tell us his story. I need the other side of this one. Yeah, like, what was the moment before?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Nope. They need to know, too, because this is a dynamic they have to work with going forward. And the brother might choose to not stay with her now because technically it's not kosher anymore. Like what was kosher was the turkey baster. No cheating. And to get your brother to agree and sign on like that was such a gift. But you had to.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
What are they texting? Who initiated this bang session?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Now, a couple comments from OP. I agree. They really are perfect for each other after everything that's happened. I'm not sure they'll ever realize just how much they fucked up either. I don't even know for sure he's angry at me. That could be something my ex said to just make me feel bad for doing it. I hope it didn't upset him and he's doing good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Talking about the brother who's actually like being hurt by this.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
But she's allowed to tell them the truth. Yeah. Absolutely. Family's got to know. I mean, it is one of, I mean, it's that brother's baby. So, like, If the one guy divorces her, she could go after him for child support. Whoa. Because there's no way these people were smart enough to have a contract. 100% now. So maybe they'll end up together in the end. And then the family will cut them off.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And then... Yeah. That's... Yeah. Whoa. Top comment on this one? Not the asshole. He kept a secret from you, which is never good. But this isn't hiding a Pokemon obsession or splurging on a gaming PC without asking. This is fucking around on you and lying about it. Leaving him was just being sane about things. But his family asked. You answered.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It wasn't your job to keep his secrets, especially since you're not a couple anymore. It is literally not your circus, not your monkeys.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, yeah. You're on it with me. We're going to give you some lessons first because it's a big rig.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh. I'm like, without my contacts, I can see the mic in front of my face and that would be it.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Contacts are great. They're not as scary to put in as you would think.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, my God. I'll literally put them in for you and teach you.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's my favorite thing. If my hands were clean, I'd pull mine out and pop it back in. No, you don't have to. But I ate a chicken nugget right before this. So can't do that.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Next comment down. Yeah. It's just better for everyone's mental health if she sits this one out. Feed them some bullshit on not wanting the ex-girlfriend drama to take the spotlight away from them on their special day.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Well, she's 70. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No. Okay. Your stuff will be linked. You are so amazing on Smosh. You have a podcast? Oh, my God. Yeah, I do have a podcast. It's an improv podcast, so it's really silly and dumb. It's really good. I think I saw one episode where you and Amanda were trying to make Shane laugh.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
You were just like, you were losing it. You were just like so serious and like, I'm a misogynist. And it was like, and then Amanda was like, well, yeah, you are. And then just Shane died. I'm like, it's such a good show.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
And I was like, look at them. Didn't you just go on Tommy's new show too?
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It's so good. So good. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. All of Angela's links will be in the description of the show. Go follow. Go leave that 70-year-old in Sicily a comment. We can get her her handle. But other than that, head over to Patreon for some more bonus content this month. And until next time, bye!
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
That says a lot coming from the Smosh over there.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I've seen a few things brought up a number of times in the comments, so I will quickly address them here. Okay. One, I am fully aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased and they reimbursed me for a special event insurance policy, which will provide 100% coverage for any damages, claims, injuries, etc. to any of the property or persons up to $2 million.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
It is one of the first things we did after I agreed to have the event in my home. I want to do that for a wine night at my apartment. I think, honestly, if you are hosting a housewarming, a baby shower, any event. A dinner. You should do this. A kickback. I had to do this for one of our comedy shows. Yeah. It was only 50 bucks.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
This has got to be genius property damages. Red wine on a couch would totally be covered. Like, oops, we ordered pizza. I literally only let people drink water and white wine on my couch because of this reason exactly. Anytime I host a kickback, it's probably only $5 for a house. It's good to know that white wine will just...
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I think it's actually made of books. There's just a sheet over it. It's books with a sheet. It's books with a sheet. But you do some amazing work over there. I was watching some of your most iconic moments today. You have like people on YouTube that put together. Yes, I love those. Compilations for you. You're hilarious.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Oh, I spilled a whole red solo cup of white wine on the couch. Oh my God.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I also found this amazing cleaner from Amazon. Well, my mother-in-law found it first and then I got it. It is the best cleaner hands down.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Anything. I had a black mark from a roller blade on my white couch. Are we rollerblading on our couch? I was putting them on and I just went with my leg and I got it and came right out.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I got a Dyson with all the attachments. I see. A Dyson's on my list. Just go to the Co. Go to the Costco.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Go to the Co. You get an extra warranty. It's so good.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I'll take you to the Co. We got you. No need for a boy. Number two. The wedding will have a maximum, if everyone comes, of 75 guests, five catering staff, and five security staff. The security is because this is an open area that anyone walking past could access. The house has hosted events twice the size, and logistically, it'll all be fine.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
On the property are two cottages, one with one bathroom and the other with two bathrooms. The only portion of my house that will not be locked during the wedding is the finished basement. The basement has two bathrooms. Got it. So, reasonable toilets. And security. Security. That's... lessen the liability. Hopefully no one will go in the lake. Three, every person who is single, i.e.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
not in an established relationship, received an invitation with a plus one, including me and Leslie. This talk came after I sent in my return card and indicated I was bringing a plus one. Now they are saying they do not want me to have a plus one because Leslie blew up about it and they are afraid of a blow up at the wedding.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
Yeah. Number four. Last one. Leslie indicated she intends to bring someone on her card. I do not know if she will actually bring someone. Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Leslie's bringing someone, you're bringing someone. It's going to be a good time. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
I see. Here's what really bugs me, though. Point number three, Leslie was the one that blew up and they're worried about Leslie making this blow up at the wedding happen. Why are we making Leslie's blow up and immaturity and emotional irregulation? Oh, he's problem.
Two Hot Takes
207: That's Unfair?! Ft. Angela Giarratana
No, no, no. I watched a lot of clips. Oh, wow. Like a lot of clips. And I feel like, no, I think you're genuinely one of the funniest people.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You know, we got engaged quite some time ago now, September of 2023, and it is now February of 2025, and we are getting into wedding planning. Yeah. Probably a little late. Probably a little procrastinating.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Unfortunately for me, you're kind of very go with the flow and you just want to make sure I'm happy while you have your opinions and preferences. I think you would prefer to elope. I've always had this idea of a wedding. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. And I think this is a place a lot of people are in.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know. It's super strange. And we've had a bunch of vegan stories. People lose their minds over eating vegan food when they're not vegan. We've had a few stories and there was another one about a wedding. But it's like... I don't know. I understand how it could, like, be tough if, like, you're so hungry and that's the only meal of the day you're having.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Like, and then the food is, like, inedible to you. But it was probably really good food.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And, well, the thing is, it's like, if it tastes good, why do you care if it's vegan or not?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, and I think everyone has their preferences, right? Like, it's kind of hard, like, what I'm trying to explain in my head. She could have ate before. She could have accommodated herself. But again, it's kind of a wedding. You shouldn't have to. Like, there should be things that your guests can eat.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But at the same time, like, this is having your guests eat vegan versus forcing vegan people to eat burgers. Like, A veganism is like it's so different than like eating meats and all this stuff. You know what I mean? Like it's it feels like for people to eat vegan for one night out of one wedding, like that's fine versus having other people like turn into carnivores when they're not.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
In my take, Linda's got to grow up. Linda has to get back on planet Earth. She's got to grow up. Top comment, not the asshole. The whole thing was vegan. It was your wedding, your choice. I wouldn't feel tricked by eating a vegan cake at all. She has some issues. Let her seethe and be upset. You don't owe her anything. Put up a sign, would have rewarded her bad entitled behavior.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Also, if people have allergies, that's on them to monitor their allergies and ask. I don't think anyone's going to give a fuck besides Linda. Goofy. Just goofy. It's a cake. It probably tastes better than the one with dairy in it. There's so many cakes here in L.A. because L.A. is notorious. Oh my God, oat milk, almond milk. Oh my God, we don't eat dairy. Whatever. It's honestly great.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
so especially in this economy oh my god wait till we get into this you guys but like i just want a tent i want a nice tent right glass looking clear nice tent with walls in case it rains because you want it at the farm i want it at my farm i still want to get married at my farm and the wedding venue there is just not ready it's probably not gonna be ready for i don't know five years i don't know just a tent you guys a nice tent what did the wedding planner tell us
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's great because Justin is dairy free. He's intolerant. And I feel better. You don't have so much bloating inflammation. None.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's so good. And most of the cakes that are out here taste better than cakes with dairy in them. I don't know how they do it. It is crazy. Chalk it up as a new experience and just move on. It's not that serious. It's a cake. Don't eat it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You want to see someone else that's about to try to ruin a night?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
People are goofy, but this is like, again, like is it easier to elope? Because I think about the weddings I've gone to and like I've sat at a table with people and they're like, there's not enough food here. Like I'm still hungry. That sucked. Like people are going to complain and that's just a frustrating part of it. It's like people go to weddings to judge weddings.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She's nuts. And so is this next one. One of this week's partners is Lume. I just got back from a bachelorette trip and I had a 14-hour travel day. And there were a lot of people on those planes and shuttle buses that definitely did not put deodorant on. But you know who didn't stink? Me, because I remembered to put on my Lume before I left.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
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Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
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Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Smell fresher, stay drier, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lume. Okay, story number three. It is coming from r slash bridezillas. Nice. This has been the most fascinating subreddit for me to dive into lately. Don't usually spend a lot of time here. It honestly, the subreddit made me start feeling crazy, crazy.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
There was one bride writing in and she shared a picture of like a seating chart, right? And it was like a mirror with like tables grouped up on different like pieces of paper on the mirror. And she goes, am I a bridezilla if I want a seating chart? Do people not have seating charts at their wedding?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
How do you know where people sit? And if you're having a plated dinner, how do the servers know who has allergies and who ordered what? You're a bridezilla because you want a seating chart? Typically, when people make seating charts, they preference the tables based on who's going to get along and who knows each other. I feel like that's just considerate.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
There was so much on this subreddit. I started to lose my mind. I'm like, whoa. Again, people have lost the plot. What? The stuff people were questioning. There was another girl. Literally, it doesn't fit our theme because she's not getting married. But there was another girl whose friend, I'm so flabbergasted, whose friend said, hey, you can pick whatever bridesmaid's dress you want.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It just has to be this color. She sent her friend 40 different options and her friend turned down every single one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Dude, at that point, I would bow out. I would bow out. It's becoming a part-time job to look for a bridesmaid's dress. I can't handle this. I'm out. Just time to elope. That other person should. People in the comments were like, maybe she's colorblind. I don't think this other person in this next story, though, is colorblind. And you'll see why very soon.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, so this is a month old. It's titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Letting My Brother's Fiance Wear White to My Wedding?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, so I, 28 female, just got married to my amazing husband, Jake, 30 male. The planning was stressful, but everything turned out beautiful. Or at least it would have if not for the drama my brother's fiance, Erica, 26 female, caused. Erica is one bold, loud woman.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She's the type who loves pushing the envelope as far as it would go and which, typically, is rather fun until she pushes it to your detriment. A month before my wedding, Erica sent me a text stating to give a heads up that she wanted to wear a white gown on my wedding day.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
According to her, she considered it a modern trend and added that since she would not attract more attention than the bride herself, it did not matter. Hmm. I was shocked. I told her tactfully, but firmly, that going to someone else's wedding in white is a serious faux pas. Erica shrugged off the comment and said, quote, It's just a color. You are not even in pure white. You're wearing ivory.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Which was true, but not relevant in my mind. I tried to let it go, thinking perhaps she was playing a game with me. But then, a week before the wedding, my mom sent me a photo of Erica's dress. It wasn't just white. It was floor-length, lacy, and absolutely bridal. I called Erica immediately and told her she needed to find something else to wear or she wouldn't be allowed in.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
She said I was being insecure and that it's 2024, women should be able to wear what they want. Later, my brother called me, Chris, 29 male, begging to let it go. He said Erica thought she was targeted and that she was in an uproar because I was ruining her experience. He said she has already spent a lot on the dress and that by now it's too late to get another one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm literally going to go on Alibaba and order a freaking tent myself. I'm literally, I'm just like, I'm like, what? What? And I see these videos of people doing, you know, the Chinese, like you order direct from China off Alibaba and like it gets sent in a crate. And I think it's going to be me if we do this thing. But weddings are crazy, you guys. So we're getting into all wedding stuff today.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
In this case, I just stood firm and said, if she shows up in that dress, she does not come in. Erica came out on the wedding day, dressed in white. My stomach was sinking at that point, but I had already warned my wedding coordinator of the potential situation. The wedding coordinator caught Erica at the door and said that either she changes out of that or get gone.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Erica had a total fit in front of my guests, screaming that she is a bridezilla and jealous of her confidence. Chris stepped in and that is how they both bailed. Now my family is literally torn apart. My parents feel that Erica had overreached, but my brother says I humiliated them in public.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Many of my other relatives go so far as to state that I overreacted and that I should have kept quiet for Harmony's sake. It has been two weeks and Chris is not talking to me. Erica has made passive-aggressive comments everywhere on social media about insecure brides and toxic wedding culture.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Sometimes I think I must have been an idiot for even thinking twice about this, and I should have just let her have the stupid dress. So, am I the bridezilla?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That. It's not her wedding. She could have saved that dress for her wedding. It's white floor-length floral lace.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
It's just... Well, that's very clearly, like, that's someone who is with a partner that cannot stand up to them. And we see it all the time. He's an enabler. Whether or not he thinks it's a big deal or not, or maybe he's scared to rock the boat with her, but he's clearly... He doesn't have the confidence to communicate with her. He's scared of her backlash.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Either way, she's kind of walking all over him, which is not right.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I mean, here's the thing. I would have been very curious if at any point OP said to her, you can wear white to my wedding. Totally cool. Totally cool. Fine. Fine. Just so you know, I'm going to wear white to your wedding then too. I think it'd be really cool if you wore white to mine and then I wore white to yours because you wouldn't have an issue with that, right?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I can wear white to yours, right? Do you think someone like this would be okay with someone else wearing white?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I think this is going to be a theme that kind of comes up a few times this year. But the theme is eloping underrated because eloping is looking pretty good right about now. But we shall see.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Yeah, no, don't give them any more airtime. Don't acknowledge this anymore. It's to the point where people have said what they want to say and it was your wedding day. Like, let them just whip themselves in circles over something so stupid. And that's kind of where the comments are going. Top comment. Oh, honey, let them bitch and moan and make even greater fools of themselves.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
What a bunch of weirdos. Next comment. And when they get married, wear a beautiful white dress, but don't tell them before. Let's see a real bridezilla in action. She will lose her shit. Next comment down. AKA, wear your wedding dress again.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I know. Yeah. I mean, look at the upside. He supported his partner in her wrongs.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
No, and having your partners back is being able to have conversations with them, even tough ones. He should have said, you know what? I get it. You might be right. You might be right, babe. You know, maybe it is a new trend. And we're going to talk about this new trend in a second. Maybe it is a new trend, but hey, you know, my sister said, no, let's just respect it. Let's respect it.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Okay, let's dive in. Okay, here we go. Up first. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is posted five months ago. Titled, Am I the Asshole for starting my wedding ceremony before my mom showed up?
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
But let's talk about this new trend, this new trend of wearing white to people's weddings.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
You know what? Based on this other post coming from Bridezilla, r slash Bridezilla, I don't know if it's a joke. And maybe I'm just missing this. Maybe I haven't seen the TikTok videos that, you know, weddings and white, wearing white as a guest is a new thing. I get it if the bride instructs it where it's like, hey, it's our reception, our rehearsal dinner. Everyone else wears white.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I'm wearing blue. Get it. Those instructions were not sent in this case. Let's get into this next one.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Eloping is looking real good right about now. You know... You know we're going to get someone in white. You just know it. I know it. We are getting people in white.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'll get to it because we've got so many other good ones. Maybe I'll put it in the hopper, but there is someone that had a good solution for... Throw it in the hopper.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
That was one of our OG takes. One of our OG things. I mean, that might have been the wind under the Too Hot Takes sails. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
I haven't tried on dresses yet. So I don't know how this is going to go, but we've really started planning and looking into this and it's got us rethinking everything.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
The invitation says, Ceremony at 2. As per usual, we were a little late starting, but nothing crazy. Next thing I know, I'm walking myself down the aisle with no mom, grandma, or family friend in sight. The ceremony continues, and it's over before we know it. Still nothing. After 45 minutes, finally, they pull up.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know, protective big bro instincts kicked in and I told her we're fucking done. I asked for the ring back. She reluctantly gave it back before telling her she had 10 minutes to pack her things and get the fuck out of my house before I called the cops.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Obviously, I canceled everything and told everyone who would ask the exact reason why Karen and I were done. Sweet Chad obviously heard of it and saw the proportion this drama was gaining. He even told me it's not a big deal if he's not there. He just wants me to be happy. I told him my big day is meant to be the happiest in my life, and it wouldn't fucking be without him there.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I certainly can't be happy with someone like Karen, given who she really is. Well, now she's back to her parents' house, and some of our mutual friends have really distanced themselves from her. I got a lot of texts from her family, all more hateful than the previous one, and ended up blocking all of them.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Karen, on the other hand, hasn't been really aggressive or anything, just alternating between guilt tripping and cries, saying how I ruined her life, news spreads like wildfire apparently, and that she can't believe I ruined our four years relationship over a word. But not once, not once has she apologized for what she told about Chad.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So I know even more, I don't want anything to do with her anymore. So yeah, maybe I'm the asshole. But I don't know. I don't think so. And honestly, I think she deserves every part of the backlash she's getting. She has to face the consequences of her hatred. And it's great her true self has been revealed to the world, in my opinion. Who even says that in Seattle anyways? LOL.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Then I proceed to go and tell them it's over and that they missed it and that two meant two. My mother immediately became hostile and proceeded to blame the bakery for not having the buns ready. Then said they were stopped by a train. And my personal favorite was, quote, it's your fault you didn't call or text to see where we are. Excuse me? Again, the invitation said to.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
Well, and so here's the thing, right? If they would have just eloped, OP probably wouldn't have found out. They're four years into a relationship and this has not come out.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
So literally, if they would have just eloped, this would have been swept under the rug and he would have no idea.
Two Hot Takes
203: Is Eloping Underrated?..
And I think what's really interesting, and there's a movie with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars, Bridal Wars. And there is a quote in there. That another actor reads and it was like something about like sometimes weddings bring good couples closer together and sometimes they tear the bad couples that probably shouldn't be together apart.
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And I think that is something that's really interesting because it's like it's a high stress situation. You have to make a lot of compromises.
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And so it is kind of one of those interesting things where it's like eloping is obviously kind of an easy way out. It's more affordable, less stress, less compromising, but weddings do highlight flaws in a sense. Maybe it's just recently and TikTok sharing information, but I've seen a lot of weddings fall apart Really close.
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Also note, the officiant also had another wedding to get to after mine, so it was a tight schedule. So am I the asshole for not holding up my ceremony? Side note, I found out the real reason why they were late. She wasn't done getting herself ready, therefore holding up everyone. But she is mad at me because it's my fault. Am I the asshole?
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I know, but think about how mad people would be. Like...
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No, I get it. Obviously, I think it's very clear that OP here is not the asshole. Anyone that's going to use that type of language should not be in your life when you have a brother in general, but like, especially so when you have a brother who identifies as a part of the LGBTQ plus community, this is like another theme I'm kind of working on.
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And it's something that keeps coming up in my head today, but it's, it's have we lost the plot? Because there's been a lot of like,
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anti-lgbtq plus messaging out there um attacking of trans people which trans people account for like the most minuscule percent of our population and it's like we're focusing so much energy on attacking them like let people live their lives like we're focusing on you know attacking diversity when we should be embracing it because we all are so different and beautiful and it's it just feels like we're fighting against each other when we when we shouldn't be
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Like, it just feels like people have lost the plot. And it's like with this. Like, did you love this guy? Did you love him? Because if you love him, you kind of love... All of him and who he loves and, you know, like unless the family's toxic, but like, did you love him or did you just want a wedding? And you wanted something cool for optics. Right.
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Because you're giving a crazy person that is just about the optics.
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Dude, we're floating on a rock in, like, the middle of, like, 20 billion other galaxies.
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Typically, you've got a village, and the village is what makes them them.
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it's you really got to analyze you really got to analyze like some people have a bad village with in-laws and they're still willing to look past it and marry their partner because they love them some people yeah like i know people that will not seriously consider someone if the in-laws suck they've been four months in met the in-laws and dipped out because they were terrible yeah
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And it's just like, let people live, let people live. Bottom line, let people live. And this is fucking crazy.
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I don't, I don't have enough time in my life right now. I don't even talk to like as many family and friends as I want. How do people find the time? Genuinely, how do people find the time? Top comment on this one. True. Yeah, OP replies to that. Hadn't thought about it. Damn. Yeah, I dodged a nuke right there.
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Honestly, here's the thing. Like, I would actually, I would like elope privately, but now... I don't like any of the other dates. Like if we eloped and then had a wedding ceremony in September, the date we're thinking, cool. But like, I don't like any of the dates between.
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I don't know, little doggy, but we got to move along to the next one here. Another one of this week's partners is Quince. We all want a little luxury. And if we're spending our hard-earned money, we want quality. That is where Quince comes in. Quince is going to be your go-to for luxury essentials at affordable prices.
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Those staple pieces for your wardrobe that you have for years to come and can mix and match with so many different things that hold up wash after wash after wash. and make you look good, and most importantly, feel good. Quince has a wide range of high-quality items at prices within reach. They have washable silk tops, dresses, organic cotton sweaters, and 14-carat gold jewelry.
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And the best part about all of Quince's items, they are priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands. You've heard me talk about Justin's jacket story. We looked in person everywhere, and the jacket he got from Quince was so much better and way cheaper. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash THT for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash THT to get free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash THT Okay, this next one. This next one. It is coming from Am I the Asshole? Titled, Am I the Asshole for kicking my mother out of my wedding after she brought my ex as her plus one?
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I, male 30, started seeing June, female 29, about three years ago. My mother has never really liked June for a couple of reasons, the main one being the fact that June didn't let my mom push her around. She kept firm boundaries, which I really admired, and she even helped me to do the same.
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My mom hated this, calling June controlling and wishing I hadn't broke up with my previous girlfriend, Margo, who my mom loved. I was with Margo for five years and it was horrible. Margo was very controlling and manipulative and always guilted me into things I wasn't comfortable with. But thanks to support from friends and my sister, I was able to leave her.
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It was hard, but I had help and my life has improved since. My mom was very upset with this, but relationships didn't last. So she eventually let it go until I started dating June about a year later. When June and I announced our engagement, my mom didn't freak out, which was weird considering my mom hates June.
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She was very calm, but I just took it as she was finally accepting this, and so I didn't think much of it. Everything was fine and smooth up until the wedding. I gave both of my parents plus ones to the wedding since they both remarried after I graduated college. So I'm not close to their spouses, but gave them the option of inviting them.
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We had a very small ceremony, just immediate family and close friends. After the ceremony, me and June went to take pictures and and then met back with everyone we invited to the reception, which was pretty big. When we got there, my sister and June's best friend ran up to us in a panic. Before they even said anything, I spotted it. My mom was at the table with my dad, my dad's wife, and Margot.
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I wanted to freak, but June kept me calm. I walked over, pulled them both aside, and simply told them to leave. My mom tried to explain that Margo and I are soulmates and June is just in the way of true love, but I wasn't hearing it. I didn't care. Just got my best friends to escort them out and I returned to the party where luckily, after a few moments, I was able to relax and enjoy it.
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I really didn't think this would all turn into something huge, but June and I just got back from our honeymoon where we didn't have our phones and seeing mine, I saw hundreds of texts from multiple family members. They all think I was an asshole for kicking my mom out of her only son's wedding.
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For the record, she was there for the ceremony, but apparently was really upset she was kicked from the reception. Here's a summary of my family's thoughts. Some think I could have just ignored Margo and didn't have to freak out. A few others, including my dad, think I should have just kicked Margo out and let my mom stay. But after that stunt my mom pulled, I didn't want either of them there.
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I'm starting to second guess myself since everyone is really mad. June and my sister are on my side, but I fear my dad may be right and I should have just let my mom stay and made Margo leave. So I've come to Reddit. Am I the asshole?
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But she didn't just invite Margot. She didn't just stop there. She went so far as to then, at this reception, after OP is already married, to say, hey, sonny boy, you just fucked up. This is your soulmate, actually.
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What did she want him to do? Oh, you're right. You're right, Mom.
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Let me go tell June real quick. Hey, June. It's off, babe.
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Oh, that wedding license that everyone signed? Rip that up in the back room.
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What did she think would come of this? And why the wedding day when it's kind of too late?
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She was being crazy calculated with that like, like deviously calm, like after the engagement. Where like he even thought she's just getting used to it. She's coming around.
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This... Is really wild, really wild. Oh my God, if my mom showed up to our wedding with an ex, I would push her in Lake Superior.
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And I get like, I'm like trying to think like with all these wedding stories, why does it seem that weddings brings out more flying monkeys than usual?
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Security is crucial. All the stories have demonstrated that.
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Well, I'm almost wondering if people's families... And especially if they're paying, but that they feel entitled to weddings. I've raised this person. I've supported them. This wedding is just as much for me. I want to party. Like, I wonder if that's a thought process behind some of these people. I know graduations can kind of get that way.
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But even that's kind of contentious because there's a lot of hot takes that say, okay, the wedding is just about the bride and the groom. But then there's some people that say, no, a wedding realistically is also for your guests. You need to entertain your guests. You need to feed your guests. You're throwing a party. So it's not just your day. And sustenance as well. Quality.
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I mean, even us, I think that's been like a big thing for us is like we've got a lot of people on both sides and bringing everyone together. And like we have even worried about that where we're like, what drama are we going to encounter on our day? Is it worth it having a wedding and having all these people in the same room?
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my brother when he and his wife got married um we all have talked about this like we have a very crazy family dynamic like me and my like my brothers at least we all have the same mom different dads and then i have a little sister who we have the same dad but different moms and at my brother's wedding my dad like our dad jerry who kind of like took us all on
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gave a speech and Matt's bio dad was like ready to get up and like fight him. And then my uncle Chuck had to like step in. It was, there was drama, like even the best days, the most planned days. It's like you get a little alcohol on people and some people can't handle it. And one thing triggers the next and you have a domino of crazy.
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And so, you know, getting back to this one, one weddings are tough, right? They're tough. A lot of people, a lot of dynamics, history, context, whatever. With this one, I think this was obviously not the asshole, but this was also the safest decision because you don't know what Margo is capable of. Obviously, she's got to go.
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But you also don't know what your mom is capable of because of the fact that she thought it was a good idea to bring Margo as her plus one. What else? Even if you kick Margo out and let her stay, what else is she going to do to ruin that night?
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But Margo demonstrated how cuckoo she is because she showed up.
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To their wedding, Margo! Exactly. So Margo's got screws loose too.
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I know. So with this one, eloping would have been easier. Yeah. But I do think their wedding sounds like it was great. And they did it really cool where like the ceremony was small and intimate. And then the reception was the rager, which I like that idea. But I, you know, obviously, if they would have eloped, they would have avoided it. But
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There's clearly some tension there or a history of this behavior because I know for me, my mom is notoriously late. She almost missed our engagement. Granted, she didn't know what it was, but my mom is always late. We know this. Our wedding, I'm going to tell her 1 p.m. if it's 3 p.m. because I know. But... If this were me, and I know my mom's a late person, and my mom was like this.
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hey, you learned you can't trust your mom and you set boundaries and now you move forward.
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Dude, I've talked about this so much. We're rewatching How I Met Your Mother. And I literally last night, like, I just was like, Ted is so crazy for telling this story. One, Ted's annoying. But you have to realize, like, he's telling this story from his point of view, which is like the best point of view. Can you imagine how bad it would be if it's not from his point of view? Ted's goofy.
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But when you said telling your kids or someone this story someday, all I could think about is Ted. I'm like, God.
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Don't be a Ted. Don't be a Ted. Have you heard that new song that someone made on TikTok about Ted?
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Oh my God. It's so funny. It was like, I went on a date and she said I reminded her of Ted Mosby.
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For some reason, and honestly, maybe it's just my phone being creepy, but I feel like a lot of people are rewatching it right now.
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I think it's really interesting. You can tell we have made progress as a society when you watch old shows like this.
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Because some of the shit they say on this show, or even like we're re-watching Impractical Jokers.
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Some of the stuff they do on that show, I don't think it would fly nowadays.
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I know. And there was... God, there was an actor who came out and he even said this about a bunch of movies he did. He goes, we wouldn't be able to make those movies now. So, you know, there's hope. There's hope. We got this, guys. We got this. The pendulum shall swing.
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It's always swinging. Do your chain hang low? Do we wobble to the flow? Nope. Okay. Moving along. Another one of this week's partners is Bumble. Are you ready to date your way? No more following other people's rules. I can't reply to them too soon. Do they like me? Am I being funny enough? The best way to date is your way. By being the most you. By sharing those fun quirks about yourself.
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Like if you're a horse girl or you love smutty novels. Or maybe you want to use some of Bumble's features to find someone you can go salsa dancing with. Yeah, Bumble actually lets matches know from the get-go what you're into, what you're looking for.
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It even spotlights what you have in common with potential matches as you're looking at their profile, making it easier and quicker to find the people who like what you like. You're going to know if you can bond over Taylor Swift, sports, or travel goals pretty quickly.
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I was just on a bachelorette trip with 12 girls and more than half of them, including myself, met their partner, their husband, on a dating app and by showing exactly who they are and by dating their way. So give it a try yourself. Date your way on Bumble. This next one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit.
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It is titled, My brother-in-law confessed feelings for me after I went wedding dress shopping with his fiancée. This just happened today and I'm using a throwaway because I promote my small business on my main and I want to be anonymous with this. Okay, I'm pretty overwhelmed, so I'll start with some background. I have been with my husband for five years. We've been married for two.
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Since early on in our relationship, I've been great friends with his older brother, partially because I always wanted one. When he started dating a girl about two years ago, I went out of my way to make sure she knew she had a friend in me, if she wanted, since we're the only girls in the family.
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We're great friends now, and since they got engaged three months ago, I've been helping with wedding planning and was asked to be a bridesmaid. We went dress shopping today and had a blast. We went to brunch, had some mimosas, found the dress, and went back to their house to celebrate.
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My mom would find excuses. There was a train. I got caught up. I had to let the dogs out. Your horses needed water. Like, shit happens.
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I ended up alone in the kitchen with my brother-in-law a bit after being there, and he said he just had to tell me something before it kept eating at him. I was a little buzzed and confused, but not at all expecting him to say what he did. Quote, I completely froze and just shook my head.
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I told him that no, I have never thought about him in any way other than a friend and a brother and I never would. Before he said anything else, I bolted back to his fiance and the other girls there and very discreetly told her I got my period and wasn't feeling well. and would have someone come and get me and then come by soon for some more wedding planning.
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She thought nothing of it and I called my best friend to come get me. She dropped me off at home. My husband is working right now and there is no question that I'm going to tell him as soon as he gets home, but I just have no idea where to go from there. Do I tell his fiance? Do I make him tell her? Do I leave it? Do I have my husband talk to him?
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But not on this day, but in the same breath. And maybe this is a me problem, and I should work on this. But I would still call her and be like, hey, are you going to be here soon? Like, I would have communicated immediately.
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Has anyone ever had something like this happen or have any advice? Anything is appreciated.
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If this were me, I think you tell your husband and you kind of go from there. He knows his brother best. You have the conversation. I mean, you hope their relationship is good. They have a lot of trust and they can communicate well. But like, I think really like you don't know how to proceed until you start there. I think the fiance definitely deserves to know that.
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But I think you kind of let your husband guide the reaction because it is his brother. Unless his way to handle it is never saying anything. Because I don't think that's necessarily right.
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granted it is her wedding day she's busy she shouldn't have to herd cats and tell people when and where to get there it's like you're an adult get there but i know for me personally i would have given them a heads up and been like hey we got to start soon if you're not here because well but the thing knowing you too and it it takes it makes it really personal but
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Well, that's what's interesting because it's like he engaged, he got engaged a couple months ago. But like, if you're in love with your brother's wife, why are you proposing? Yeah.
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It's literally the dream to have a good relationship with your brother-in-law. And then he picks a great girl, follows in love with like a really good one. And you become really good friends to the point you get asked to be a bridesmaid. That's the dream.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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I'm there before getting there, I think. Like, I always talked about those videos I would see with that interstellar sound and they're like, no, screaming outside the window, watching them, like, do something, right? And a lot of the ones I've seen are just, like, wedding planning where they're like... Wedding planning together.
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But is OP the asshole for doing this? No. No. The invitation said to. Invitation said to mom was there helping, you know, OP get ready, said, Hey, I'll be right back. I gotta go change. So that was noon, 20 minutes each way. Mom had what an hour and a half hour and 20 minutes to get ready. Yeah.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And it's not necessarily right, but it's better that those feelings or questions or thoughts come out before a wedding, right?
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And they were running behind on top of that. So she had more time. So it really is on the mom. And this is a tough lesson to learn. I'm sad that grandma, you know, got caught in the crossfire.
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But it is one of those tough love lessons. And I don't think OP is the asshole.
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Exactly. And the way this went down, it's not great, but it is what it is, right? And maybe these two people are happier and better for it. But I went on a friend's birthday trip a couple of years ago. One of the girls on the trip at the club met a guy she really liked. Turns out he was on a bachelor trip. He was the groom and him and his fiance at the time had agreed.
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They got free passes on their trips and meeting this friend, this girl I know, like he was just like, fuck, I'm only getting married because I have to. And he went back and called off the wedding. His family was absolutely devastated. They'd been together forever.
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No. And their family was really tied. They had dated forever. It felt like the obligatory, obligatory, whatever next steps. And they, he felt that way. And then when they broke up, like, I think it came out, she felt that way. I don't, I don't remember it. I don't want to, I don't want to speculate too much.
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Maybe, but like, I mean, it was bad when she went up there and met the family for the first time, they screamed at her, called her a whore. Like it wasn't good.
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They saw her grow up. But at the end of the day, was that really bad? Yeah. Would I recommend people find out they don't want to marry someone that way? No. But she didn't deserve to be with someone who didn't truly love her and likely would have cheated down the line.
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If he was so unhappy. So at least she found out pre-marriage versus married kids. Yeah. It's best to find out before the wedding. Before the wedding. And now these two get a chance to work on it. And I don't think, you know, some people do, but I don't think most people propose because they feel like they need to. Like, I do think he's got feelings for her.
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And it's not just like, I gotta, you know, be at this stage in my life. My little brother got married. I should get married too.
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There is another final update from OP on this one. It's a little long and it just kind of goes into details about how brother-in-law has since explained some of his feelings as he understood so far, thanks to a lot of introspection and therapy. So he's going to therapy. He's putting in the work. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
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To sum it up, he very sincerely apologized to me for the position he put us both in and the betrayal of our relationship. After a couple of therapy sessions, talking through the root of his feelings, he realized how terrified of change he was, even when it was good. And frankly, his fear of a failed marriage.
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He was older and understood so much more of his parents' divorce than my husband, and he didn't realize how much that had impacted him because he pushed it down.
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No, no, no. Sorry. We do get there. I know. I was pausing to read. It goes on to say when he found his fiance, he truly fell in love with her. And we all knew it by the way he acted. I mean, this guy is usually stubborn and stoic, but he just melted for her. He changed so many habits for the better, for his sake and for his future.
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Nobody questioned if he loved her and he was so excited to propose, albeit he knew he was nervous for the life change. When we went out dress shopping and came back, a little tipsy and excited, she gushed to him about wedding details and ideas, and he got overwhelmed. So he did a couple of shots.
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And when I came in, as a person he had come to for comfort or advice, on more than one occasion, he just exploded and said what he said. He had so many thoughts running through his head, and I can't say that I'm mad at him for what happened when I got engaged, no matter how much I love my husband and how great our marriage is now.
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I have to admit, I had a few late-night musings about what life would be like married because it should not be taken lightly. He was so genuine in his apology and ashamed of his thoughts and actions, he was damn near in tears. So it goes on a little bit, but it'll be linked if you guys really want to read this and all of Opie's comments and things like that.
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But it seems like he's on the right track. And, you know, parents, bad divorce. Like we all can get a little twisted up from childhood trauma. So, yeah. Is it weird? Yes. Are you still on board? I know you have some thoughts.
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Correct. It is not the asshole. Top comment, definitely not the asshole. If she could receive a text, she could send a text. It's not up to the bride or groom to keep track of family on their wedding day. That's true.
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I wonder, and this is where I need some psychologists to chime in, I wonder if this is like a weird projection in some way or a self-sabotage or... You know, when you just feel like conflicted and feelings to where it's like I have so much anxiety, but I can't rationalize what it's about.
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So like I did this or I'm trying to like find an example because I feel like I can see it in my brain, but I can't say it where it's like, oh, I'm lonely. I'm lonely. But instead of connecting with people or maybe making a friend or joining a club, I'm going to get a puppy that I can't take care of because I'm lonely.
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Even though I know it's not what I need or it's not the right answer, I'm going to do this because it feels like a Band-Aid. And I don't really know how telling your brother's wife...
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that you have feelings for them is a band-aid i'm curious what would have happened if our op wasn't in love with their husband and was you know maybe a bad person but i just wonder if like he's so twisted up in his head that he mistakes the friendship as feelings. And I think this is really interesting. I have a guest coming up soon who has a psychology podcast.
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And I just watched a video from her the other day that was analyzing a study that was done about men versus women and how they perceive friendships. So this study brought in a bunch of men and women who were friends and they interviewed them separately. And when they asked the women, like, are you interested in him? The women would be like, no, you know, not really interested.
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If you ask the men, are you interested in him, in her? The men would respond like, yeah, yeah. You know, if there's a shot, like I totally go for it. I do like my friend. even though the female like didn't feel that way. So it was interesting that like in the men's brains, they, they perceived more of like that line to cross. And I'm probably butchering this. Um, she will be on soon.
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That said, it is curious that no one, no other family members, no other member of the wedding party, no wedding planner, etc., made an attempt to find out where the mother of the bride was when she didn't show up. Was it a tiny ceremony? No. And that's what I kind of mean.
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I'm really excited for her, but it was just an interesting study. And so maybe he's perceiving this friendship as like intimacy because, and again, it's going back to this thing with like the loneliness epidemic for men that I keep talking about. Men don't have typically a lot of super intense, intimate, emotionally vulnerable relationships. Obviously men, maybe that's not the rule.
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Maybe, maybe I'm talking about the exception or maybe, you know, that's the exception and not the rule, whatever it is. But like, I think why men are more likely to hurt themselves or, you know, whatever, like it's because they don't talk and they don't have those close relationships. So maybe her coming in, she wanted a brother. She wanted that close relationship.
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She wanted that camaraderie, that intimacy. He perceived that as affection, as feelings. Could be. I think that happens quite a bit. And that's why that study comes about. It's like women are just trying to be friends, but guys don't necessarily know that because they don't have that relationship with their friends.
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Like for me, I would have just called because I think even if someone does this routinely, I would be worried they got in a car accident. I would be worried they're in a ditch somewhere. Like my head jumps there.
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Can we talk about, because we have not given her enough credit or any credit, the fiance, what a strong, secure woman is.
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I think it's just like security in yourself, knowing you're enough, knowing that, hey, if it doesn't work out with him, that's fine because I know what I'm deserving of. I know what I'm worth. And I think to be able to say, hey, I still obviously want to be friends. And if we do get married down the road, I still want you as a bridesmaid.
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After this info comes out, after this happens, I mean, she's amazing. And their relationship, their honesty, their community, I mean, this whole group, like, they're really, they're working through it. But she...
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She's an amazing person because how many people, how many stories have we read over the years that this, you know, sister-in-law, potential sister-in-law, fiance would have been like, fuck you. You're not going to be around me. You're not going to be around my husband. Actually, you're not coming to our wedding. You're uninvited. You're a temptation. It could have easily gone that way.
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So this person is very secure and knows their worth. And regardless of how it ends, Everyone's going to find their people and be happy.
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And if you did just, God forbid, go on with your ceremony and then find out after that they got seriously hurt or needed help or, you know, something really like a really good reason actually did hold them up. Yeah. You'd feel bad.
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I love you. You little cutie over there. I know you're tired. I got one more short and sweet one to top us off here.
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I know. You guys, it's like 2 a.m. right now. We've done a full week of work and we are burning the candles at both ends. We love you and we got to deliver. So this is coming again from our very own Two Hot Takes subreddit.
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It is titled, close family friend gifted showerhead for my wedding. Should I gift them a picture frame for their anniversary?
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So sometimes women or people with clits use shower heads to masturbate.
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Okay, okay, sorry, I detract. When I got married, a close family friend was really upset that I decided to only have my nieces at the wedding, excluding other children. They were quite rude about it, but eventually they accepted that it was going to be a child-free event. On my wedding website, I mentioned that we didn't want gifts and instead preferred contributions to our honeymoon fund.
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Every single guest either gave us a check or sent money with a card. Except this friend. They gave us a showerhead. While it wasn't a cheap one, it was odd. Especially considering they work in that industry. So it likely didn't cost them much. Or anything. That was me. My husband found it particularly strange given how much of a fuss they made about their daughter not being invited.
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Fast forward to now. They're celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and are essentially throwing another wedding. She's asked for my help several times because she liked how my wedding turned out. So I've assisted with designing invitations and other details.
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In her invitation, she specifically requested cash gifts, and when we discussed it, she casually mentioned that she hadn't realized she was supposed to give us cash at our wedding and just said, quote, Oops, sorry about that. Now her event is this Saturday, and my husband suggested that instead of giving them cash, we should gift them something like a nice picture frame.
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We're about to leave for our honeymoon, so we don't have a lot of extra money to spend. Plus, they didn't give us money, so it feels fair. But I'm unsure. Would it be petty to give just a picture frame with a card? Or should we just give them $50 or something? My mom thinks it's petty and got mad at me for even considering the picture frame.
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Would I be the asshole if I gift them a picture frame and a card instead? No.
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Or they needed a couple months to save up for their honeymoon, which a lot of people do nowadays.
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Not the span of a year. It seems still within a decent, a close amount of time.
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So these people are having a 25th wedding anniversary, which amazing. So, so, so cool.
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But they're throwing another wedding. Right. And asking for gifts. You don't. That, to me, seems tacky. You can have a wedding anniversary, a big one, and celebrate, but to ask people to give you gifts again just because you've been married for 25 years, that feels entitled.
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A lot of people have anniversary parties. Maybe I just haven't been to a lot of anniversary parties because I don't have a lot of married people in my life.
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I'm now I'm like wondering because this is something this is maybe a generational thing. My mom sends messages to like our family in a group chat like every anniversary for my brother like and his wife. Happy anniversary. So happy you guys are are just in love and like she sends really nice messages every anniversary.
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Are we supposed to reach out to people on their anniversary and congratulate them every year. Is it like a birthday thing?
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So I guess if they're throwing a big anniversary party, I guess they do need gifts. I guess you should get a gift.
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And then the couple is standing outside screaming like, no, just a lope.
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I guess I love a present. So it's like, I love a present, but I love a present.
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Exactly. And here's where I have a problem, okay? She says, this other person says to our writer, OP, I didn't realize I was supposed to give you cash at your wedding. Oops, sorry about that. That's the point that you say, hey, I didn't realize here's your wedding gift. It's not too late, lady.
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Yeah, well, we do have a couple comments from OP. A lot of people are accusing her of being AI, and she's like, I promise you, I'm human. Mother, grandma, and family friend are from another province. They were staying in a hotel. She planned that, not me. The buns were not needed until 5 p.m. They were at a bakery 15 minutes away.
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And then she still expects... OP to bring her a gift? That's cash? No, no, no, no, no. You didn't get me cash. I don't get you cash. Honestly.
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Why was that my thought? Why was my thought to give them a shower head or a bath related item? You guys gave us a shower head. We got you a bath thing. An intimacy package for the tub. You know, I got to spice it up after 25 years.
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It's like me getting you a fucking Barney costume for a holiday. You don't like Barney. You'd never dress up as Barney. Like everyone needs a shower head.
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But like also at the same time, like what if it doesn't match their finishes in their bathroom? What if it's a chrome shower head or a brass shower head and they have silver? True, true. It's just stupid. And it was very intentful because they didn't get their way about having someone invited. It's tacky. They were tacky. I wouldn't get them a gift of monetary value.
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I would meet them at the level they met you at, especially given they work in the shower bath industry. And they likely got that for free as like a sample so he could promote their company or sell the product.
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Because... Honestly, our writer's really nice to help her plan her anniversary after the drama.
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But the thing is, for her to bring it up, whether it's been six months or a year, and for her to say, I didn't realize we were supposed to give you cash. Oops, sorry about that. She might not have even been thinking about it, but it definitely means... She knew what she did. It seems intentional. Because if you did it on accident, you wouldn't think twice about it.
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So, you know, mom could have skipped the buns, gone to the ceremony, and then, you know.
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She knows what she did. She gave you the shower head on purpose as a fuck you gift. And...
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It's an interesting dynamic. OP does have some comments. Top comment, though, on this one. Frame a picture of the showerhead. OP responds, haha, that would be awesome. Do it, says the next comment. But first, check the cost of the showerhead and buy a cheap frame accordingly. Thing is, they got that shower head for free. If they're in the industry, they got it for free.
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Also, who the fuck wants a shower head for a wedding gift?
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Here nor there. Also, maybe someone else should have planned to get the buns and not mom. Like, again, like, there's strategic ways to, like, out plan for the worst case scenarios. But again, she's an adult. She should have gotten her ass there. Still haven't spoken to her since she left to go back home. I stopped caring for her after my wedding.
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I would just give it back. Like, I would literally just give it back. Like, here, take it. Take it.
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So Opie does highlight some context about the relationship. They are very close family friends. And while I was disappointed with the gift they chose for my wedding, it doesn't change how I feel about them. It's just frustrating that they didn't put in much effort. And now it feels unfair. I'm torn because on one hand, I feel slighted.
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But on the other hand, I'm not sure if it's worth being petty given how close we are. OP got downvoted. Negative 28. Negative 28. Negative 28. And one last comment I'll read from OP. Thanks everyone for your feedback. I want to clarify that we're not wealthy by any means. We didn't ask for contributions to our honeymoon fund as a requirement.
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We made it clear that just having our guests attend our wedding was gift enough. However, for those who wanted to give a gift, we suggested they could contribute to our honeymoon fund instead. I know I don't need to explain myself, but I want to emphasize that going on a trip with my husband is only possible because of the wedding gifts. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to afford it.
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We thought it would be nice to have the chance to take a special trip we wouldn't otherwise be able to afford. On that note, the couple in question are older, close friends of my parents, and financially well off. It was intentional. No! No! No! which I was already planning to do. Initially, I thought a picture frame would be a nice gift until I learned they requested cash on their invite.
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My mom suggested that a picture frame might seem inappropriate, which made me second guess my choice. For me, it was more about the principle, especially considering the fact that they were upset about them bringing their daughter to the wedding. Now they're asking for a lot of help with their party. I could easily say no, but they're my parents' best friend and I truly want to avoid the drama.
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I think you can. Well, it depends on how much money you're giving them. If you're giving them 20 bucks, whatever. If you're giving them anything more than $50, I'm upset with you. I myself am going through a people pleasing kill off and I get where you're at. Get where you're at. You want to keep the peace this whole episode. You want to keep the peace, avoid the drama.
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But the thing is, when people show you disrespect, you don't need to meet them with respect. She knows what she did. She acknowledged what she did and she still didn't make it right. And she's also making you be a party planner for free. No. No. This is giving me ulcers. This is giving me ulcers.
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And I'm starting to question like, you know, I wanted all of these things. I wanted the camel. I wanted a Ferris wheel. I wanted all of these things. But when you start really like planning and looking into it and making your guest list and I'm I'm to the point now where I'm like, I don't know if I want any of it. And I'm getting to a point where I really need to decide. We need to decide.
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I know. I'm stressed for you, and you don't deserve this, but it'll be fine. Don't sweat the small stuff, right?
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I know. That all being said, where do you fall? A lope or wedding? We got to get back to our wedding planner. We got to get back to people. Are you any closer to a decision? No.
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Can you imagine if I put it to a poll and like whatever people decided is what we do?
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I know, but I'm just so stressed. I'm indecisive. I don't know. Is eloping underrated? Are weddings overrated?
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I know. I just need to see some comments from you guys. Tell me your wedding happy stories. Tell me your wedding horror stories. I just need to see it all and hope it helps me make a decision because I'm getting to crunch time. We're getting to crunch time and it's going to be It's going to be a lot. But thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode.
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Yeah, it is peculiar because there's one last comment from OP. Haven't spoken to my mom since then. She reached out once to remind me the anniversary of the death of my dog. Nothing else. So it sounds like mom's not really apologizing. OP shouldn't have to apologize. They're at this awkward stalemate and it's just a bad situation.
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I've got more wedding stories from this theme that I'm going to get into with Lauren, as well as some other ones. Justin and I had a really good Patreon bonus episode. So many good stuff. So head over to Patreon if you want more of this and some other bonus content. But otherwise, thank you for being here. Another week.
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The road to 250. No, it's another goal. But we've got a big announcement coming early March. I'm just like sitting here still like pinch me. So thank you guys so much. And until next time.
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Yeah, it is interesting. But moving along. This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for refusing to label my wedding cake as vegan because a guest felt tricked?
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My husband, 32 male, and I, 30 female, had a vegan wedding because we're both vegan. We made it clear in advance that the food and cake would be plant-based, and no one complained until the reception. The cake was gorgeous, three tiers decorated with edible flowers. Towards the end of the night, one of my husband's aunts, Linda, came up to me looking visibly upset.
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She said it was disrespectful to have a vegan cake on display because it felt like I was, quote, pushing my lifestyle on everyone. I told her the cake wasn't meant to make a statement, it was just the dessert we chose for our wedding. She insisted I either move the cake off the main table or add a sign saying it was vegan so people weren't tricked into eating it. I refused because 1.
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It was my wedding, 2. It's a cake, not propaganda, and 3. No one else seemed to care. Linda ended up storming out, and now my in-laws are saying I should have compromised to avoid drama. I think Linda's reaction was ridiculous, but my husband thinks I could have just put up a sign to keep the peace. Am I the asshole?
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Wait, I wonder if Linda thinks the cake was the only vegan thing. Because why isn't she also bitching about the food?
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This is so embarrassing. I just talked about it on an episode I just recorded with Lauren. I ordered from this one place called like Veggie Grill, not realizing it was vegan. And I ordered a chicken wrap. It wasn't chicken. So I honestly think Linda could have gotten like, like a bean patty slider and been like, oh my God, it's a burger. Like Linda probably doesn't know.
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Well, I think that's like the in-laws, which like also Linda's an aunt. I mean, it's not, you know, your mother-in-law or father-in-law. I don't get why they're not like, oh, that's just Linda. Like, let Linda stomp around and be dramatic. Like, who cares? Why?
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I know there's, there's a comment too. And it's kind of reminding me, um, it's like a quote about disability. It's like people saying like my disability isn't what disables me. It's the world.
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Like it's, there's a saying and I'm, I'm not remembering it exactly right now, but it's, it's more so that it's like, it's like, I'm, I'm good. It's how others treat me. It's how the world doesn't create a space that enables me. And it's just, it's frustrating, really frustrating.
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but okay we have no updates from op on this one no idea if the wedding is off yet i mean it's nine years old and uh yeah that's all we got so we're gonna have to keep keep our eyes peeled see if anything comes of this one damn But moving along. Moving along.
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Okay, this next one is coming from r slash relationship advice, three days old, titled, Boyfriend's behavior in restaurants leaves me embarrassed. How can I avoid these scenarios? Whenever me, 27 female, and my boyfriend, 29 male, go to a restaurant, he will often order something that he envisions in a certain way in his head, which is different from the way it's actually supposed to be.
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And when his food arrives, he starts complaining that it's not what he had in mind. Mind you, this occurs 8 out of 10 times. For instance, yesterday he ordered an espresso macchiato.
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A couple of minutes later, the waiter brings him exactly that, after which he freaks out, whining about not being able to get a decent coffee, why he always has to suffer from getting this little shitty-ass cup of coffee. I used to work as a barista, so I know my way around coffee, and I explained that he got a perfectly prepared espresso macchiato.
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Apparently, he automatically assumed that he would get a large cup of black coffee with milk, just because of the word macchiato. Then, this morning, whilst we were getting brunch, I recommended him the toasted sandwiches, pointing at the list of ingredients, reading the name of it out loud simultaneously. He liked the sound of veggie cheese, so he agreed to that.
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The waiter brings his veggie toast. He whips the sandwich open, frantically searching for the eggs. I asked him, what eggs? He tells me he understood eggs and cheese instead of veggie cheese and didn't bother to look at the menu as he trusted me. This was probably the fifth time in a row that the same incident occurs.
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And I'm getting frustrated with him, refusing to learn at least a few basic types of coffee since he's already consuming it on a regular basis, ending up causing a scene. Literally not one of my friends has ever done something remotely similar to this. How am I supposed to handle this behavior?
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I'm sure he's freaking out being like, I don't want to eat this. I want something else.
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Uh-huh, the restaurant. He's probably being like, send this back. I don't want this. This isn't what I ordered. I don't want these, the eggies and cheese.
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I don't know. The top comment on this one. Okay, let's hear it. Let's go. I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like he's straight up stupid. Oh, ouch. I mean, like, what? I have no explanation for this, except, like, maybe he's been enabled so long. But, like, in what word? His mom picked out all of his meals or something. Probably cuts his food up for him still. Maybe.
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But in what world would I would never be like macchiato must be a black coffee with some milk in it. That would be coffee with milk, coffee with cream.
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That's how we started. Yeah. That's how we started. Literally, this whole idea came about. Really, like, I think the first text I ever had was, like, 2019. Like, let's start a podcast. But it really got brought to life because of COVID and, like, being so bored and alone and scared and depressed that, like, we were sending Reddit stories back and forth. And I would send them to everyone.
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Like I don't think I've ever, ever ordered a macchiato. So my understanding and I'm not a barista, never have been. They're all similar, but have different amounts of espresso to cream or milk ratios. So a macchiato is an espresso drink with a small amount of steamed or foamed milk. The word macchiato is Italian for marked or stained. That's a cute name.
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Here I am looking up differences between a cappuccino and a macchiato. A cappuccino has significantly larger proportion of steamed milk when compared to a macchiato, which only has a small amount. Nice. So baristas chime in, but that's the vibe I'm getting. Okay, so what does she do?
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There is a comment here that OP responds to. He sounds like a child. Has he just been spoon fed by his parents his entire life? This is a 27 year old. OP responds, no, I'm 27. He's 29. And the person goes, why do you put up with this? Endope goes, I haven't known him that long, and I've noticed these cases in the past few weeks. Nothing similar beforehand. Hmm.
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You got to reel it in a little bit. But I wonder again, like I'm thinking about the scar. I'm thinking about this. I'm like, he didn't do it initially. This is a recent thing over the past couple of weeks. Is this a test? Is he trying to get her to break up with him because he doesn't want to?
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It would be a really weird way. People have done weirder. Creative. People have done a lot weirder.
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You could burn their house down. Ordering stuff at a restaurant and pretending it's not what you wanted. Burning their house down.
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Well, we have no updates on if they're breaking up or not. I mean, this is three days old, and I'm curious about an update, OP. So if you're out there, let us know what you do.
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And I'm like... Really probably starting to annoy everyone. Like, what about a podcast? And that's what it was. It was just like talking through these stories, trying to understand them, giving some takes. And it's turned into all of this. Yeah.
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Let us know. Active account, though. Posting things as recent as one day ago. Oh, okay. So, OP, chime in. Tell us. Come on. Are you breaking up? Okay, moving on to the very last story I have with you two.
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Lauren got really scared over there. So this is coming from r slash true off my chest, 13 days old. It is titled, My husband lied about coming to help me while I was critically sick. I, 28 female, have been married to my husband, 32 male, for three years. We have a one-year-old daughter together. Up until recently, I thought I could count on him when I truly needed him.
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But last week, he proved me completely wrong. I'd been feeling off for a couple of days, fatigued, nauseous, just generally unwell. Then one morning I woke up with a fever, chills, and a deep sense that something was really wrong. I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. Taking care of our daughter felt impossible. I called my husband at work and told him I needed him to come home.
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He promised he would. An hour passed, then two. He kept texting me, saying he was just finishing up something and would leave soon. Then he claimed he was stuck in traffic. Then he said he was on his way but had to stop for gas. At this point, my fever was getting worse and I was struggling to even sit up without feeling dizzy. I told him it was urgent. He reassured me he was almost there.
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But something felt off. So I texted one of his coworkers, someone I knew he was close with. The response I got sent a chill down my spine. Quote, he hasn't left yet. He's still here. Oh, my God. Wow. Two hours later, while I was lying in that hospital bed, shaking from fever and hooked up to an IV, my husband finally decided to show up. Fuck you. I didn't even want to look at him. Nope.
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And that he was just trying to wrap things up at work. But I can't get over the fact that he lied to me over and over while I was at home struggling to stay conscious. If my neighbor hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened to me. I feel so betrayed. If he could ignore me in a life-threatening situation, what does that say about our marriage? About our future?
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About our daughter's safety if something ever happens again? I don't know what to do. Would you be able to trust your partner after something like this? No.
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Like, why would he lie? Why couldn't he be like, hey, babe, I'm tied up at work. Can you call the neighbor? Can you call your sister? Can you call your friend? Like, if you can't make it there, why lie? Why? Oh, I'm stuck in traffic. Oh, I have to stop and get gas. Okay, that still shouldn't take you two hours.
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Who even cares? Like, a job is replaceable. A person, not so much. People die from septic shock all the time. Like, it's not that far-fetched. And I know, like, some people could be devils advocating this and be like, well, why didn't she call an ambulance? Well... If you live in the United States, ambulances aren't affordable for most people. Insurance, maybe she doesn't have it.
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And you have a one-year-old. Like, you have a baby. You're supposed to come home, help me, and so then take care of our baby. Like, it's not just like, oh, I can get myself in an ambulance. It's like, okay, well, what about this little one? Like, you have a duty to your family. And for him to be like, well, I didn't know it was that bad. I'm telling you it's that bad. Believe me. I'm dizzy.
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Apparently it's a word. Wow. At least according to Wiktionary, we got our little wordy over here.
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may refer to a song by R.J. Merla. Yeah, that's what you meant. Or a word that means worthy or merito. That's a big word by Elmo. Meritorious? Like of merit? Yeah, no, I think you nailed it. Look at you.
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Well, people in the comments sure do. They have a lot of words. Top comment, yeah, no, I couldn't do this either. If you had waited for him and had gone into septic shock and probably ultimately died, what would he have done then? That could have 100% been prevented if he just came home when you asked.
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He gives more loyalty to a job that will just replace him when it's his time over his wife who he chose to love in sickness and health. Pretty much. Crazy. We do have some comments from OP because people had questions. People had a lot of questions. So the first question that OP responds to is this. I'm not sure if this even matters, but was he panicked? Clearly not, right?
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Did he come in realizing exactly how bad he screwed up? Was he terrified that something bad could have happened to you because he lied to you? Or was it just, oh, sorry, I didn't realize? If it was the second, we'd be done.
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If it was the first, definitely going to take a lot of work on his part to show that he is an honest, dependable partner who loves and cares for and will prioritize you and your daughter and definitely counseling. OP responds, he acts like nothing happened.
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No guilt, no remorse. He just keeps making excuses and minimizing everything. He even told me I should have just gone to the hospital earlier with my neighbor instead of waiting around for him. But the only reason I waited was because he kept telling me he was on his way. I also didn't want to leave my baby with my elderly neighbor unless it was absolutely necessary.
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That's the energy it's giving. There's a comment here that OP responds to. Someone says, he has shown you who he is. The decision is yours now. Is this a pattern or a one-off? And OP says, you could say it's a pattern, although the previous times were for much less important things. He has often put his work, his family, etc. before us. And someone comments back to that, you are his family too.
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Yeah. There's a couple other comments here I want to get into. It's just quite strange to me. Like, OP says, I needed someone to take care of my daughter. That's why I was waiting for him. And someone was basically implying, like, why didn't you just call an ambulance? Also, I'm in a rural area and the ambulance takes just as long to arrive as he should have. Yeah.
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Also, why are we even like shaming her? Maybe it wasn't intended that way, but like, I don't know. So someone goes, if you didn't tell him you needed to go to the hospital, you were kind of making a bigger deal than it needs to be.
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And I'm not saying you're wrong because I would be extremely pissed off, but your initial symptoms to me would have sounded like you simply just had the flu because that's exactly what I felt like when I had the flu right a week ago. and he might not have been taking it at that. Seriously.
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Now, if you had told him you needed to go to the hospital, that's a completely different situation to begin with. But to him, he's thinking you're probably just sick with a fever and have the flu, and he'll be home to take care of you at some point.
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So OP responds to that. I told him. I didn't want to say it because it's embarrassing, but I even ended up wetting myself because I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Oh, my God. He knew that when he was lying, saying he was about to arrive. Oh. Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me.
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Get there. Well, you guys, we have an update on this one. Oh. We have an update. Let's hear it. Posted 10 days ago. I'm feeling better and finally back home after a few days in the hospital. A few days.
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My parents came to pick up my daughter and take care of her while I was away. They live four hours away, so I hadn't asked them for help earlier. I didn't really get an apology from him, just a bunch of excuses. He said he didn't think it was that serious, and I should have gone to the neighbor if it was really that bad.
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I didn't argue, not because I agree, but because some of the comments I got made me realize some things. People asked if I'm the type to cry wolf, and that's why he didn't come. In five years of being together, I've only ever needed him to take me to the hospital once, when I gave birth to our daughter.
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He wasn't there when I was sick, and if he had come home, he probably wouldn't have done much anyways if it didn't need a hospital. But then someone asked me what I would do if it was our daughter in my position, and he acted the same way. That hit me hard. And as dramatic as it sounds, I don't want to be with him anymore. I don't think I can ever trust him again. Yeah.
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I've made an appointment with a lawyer, but of course, divorce takes time. I'm looking for an apartment, but the housing shortage is a nightmare. Since I live in a rural area, though, there's still hope. I haven't told him yet. He's acting like nothing's wrong. So I'm doing the same.
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I even saw some comments suggesting that he might not have actually been at work, maybe using it as an excuse for something else. So one night while he was sleeping, I checked his phone. I didn't find proof he was not at work, but I did find messages to women. Multiple flirty ones. Oh. And a Tinder app. Wow. These messages have been going on for months. Wow. He's the worst.
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Okay, are we ready for this first one? Yes. Okay. This first one is coming from A-I-T-A-H, 8 Days Old, titled, Am I the asshole for deciding to postpone the wedding over a comment my fiancé made about my scar? I, female, have a visible scar on the side of my neck. It's been there for over six years and no one has ever commented on it or made any negative remarks about it.
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He is the absolute worst. He was also sending TikToks to his friends while I was sick, laughing and joking around with no real concern for me. He told me his boss refused to give him time off. I found no evidence that he even asked for time off or discussed my condition with anyone.
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I'm starting to suspect he lied because if he really did ask, it would have been illegal for his boss to deny him leave where I live. At this point, I don't feel like confronting him. I just want out. I ignored the red flags before, the small lies, broken promises, and I shouldn't have. I thought he'd be there for me when it mattered most, but I guess I was naive.
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I never thought anyone could let me down like this. I'm not telling him I'm leaving until I'm ready, just like he didn't tell me he wasn't coming. Ooh, a poetic ending.
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Yeah, he's cheating. Emotionally cheating at the very least. Yeah, exactly. Tinder. Yeah. You're married for three years, you have a one-year-old baby, and you're on Tinder. Tinder. To make friends? This ain't Bumbled BFF, bitch. Come on. Oh my gosh. I just... I'm so happy for her. Me too. I'm so happy for her.
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I mean, there's a few other comments from OP basically just being like he wouldn't have lost his job. We're very protected here. Honestly, I care less about the cheating than the fact he could have let me die and didn't care. And it's over. This is over. It's so over. If I was talking to my partner saying, I'm super sick. I just peed myself. I'm dizzy. I can't move. I can't get out of bed.
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And I found out they were sending their buddies TikToks and laughing while I'm dying. Yeah. Oh. Oh my gosh. The rage I feel.
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Like this is family. This is your wife. Like Insane. Insane. But again, happy she's getting out. And I think that is the best plan of action. Like stockpile some money, get your go bag ready and go when you are prepared. Yeah. Goofy. But thank you guys for teeing up this episode with me. Little bit of a different episode this week. We are jumping in to three amazing guest co-hosts.
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We've got Chris Clemons, Michaela Oakland, and Spencer Hunt coming up. So enjoy the rest of this episode. I'm so excited that you all are here. I appreciate you all so much and for being a part of this journey with us. I don't feel like this is real life. I still am like pinch me like this is so insane. And I'm just remember when you actually did. You've got the delicate skin of my underarm.
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But I'm just so thankful for each and every one of you. And I hope you love these stories coming up. Okay. Yeah. Have a fun rest of the show. On to the next one. Bye. Are you ready? I'm ready. Okay. Our next magical act, Michaela Oakland, everyone. Hi. If you're new here, yeah, there's an occasional air horn or two. Not saying I'm good, but... I thought it was a good air horn.
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However, my fiancé would make comments about my scar and make it seem as flirting. Like, for instance, complaining he has kissed every part of my body except my neck because of the scar. And how the scar, quote, looked like a kid messed up such a great art, referring to my look. Oh, no. Et cetera, et cetera.
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I should get a sound pad. That would be maybe now in this new era of Too Hot Takes. We'll bring in a sound pad.
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Yeah. That's it. Oh, and there's video on Spotify now. And a sound pad. The sound pad, though, is what we're all here for, right? Mikayla, we... How long have we been friends now? Like, I think... Since the pod pretty much started at least.
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Oh, it's such a fun podcast. I love the dynamic you two have. And as you guys will see as you get into the show, or if you're a regular, you know, Mikayla's a regular and you will be seeing a lot more of her this year. Even more, like more, so much more. I'll be here in this chair. It's going to be so good. I'm really excited to see what you think on these stories.
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I'm really excited. This one is just... I don't know. I'm scared to refresh because it's very contentious. You will see. Oh, wow. You think it'll get removed? Oh, yeah. Okay. I think OP might remove it. Wow. So here we go. This is coming from AITAH, six hours old, titled, Am I the asshole for posting my friend's story on Reddit as my own and accidentally ruining her parents' marriage? Oh, okay.
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Yep. Here we go, guys. Buckle up. Two months ago, my best friend's, Valerie's, boyfriend, Derek, began ghosting her upon meeting her parents. She was upset about this and came to me for advice. I'm not good at giving people advice and felt bad for not really being able to help her out. I'd seen many people asking Reddit for advice, and it seemed like the advice was genuinely really helpful.
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I considered suggesting my friend post it but she does not use a lot of social media so I thought it would be a good idea if I made the post as if it was my story and passed on some of the helpful feedback I got. Here is where I may be the asshole. I made the post, changed the names and some details to stay anonymous, and some of the advice was good. I told her, and she took some of it.
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She spoke to her mom, who is a high school teacher, and she discovered that back when Derek, her boyfriend, was in high school, when he was 19, they slept together. Oh my God. Valerie talked to Derek and they mutually broke up. My friend's mom told her that her father was aware of this and they worked it out. I got a lot of comments begging for updates.
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So I did, since I didn't think there'd be any harm. A couple of days ago, I woke up to a bunch of missed calls from Valerie. I called her back and she began yelling at me, asking if I had posted her story on the internet. I initially denied it until she sent me screenshots from my post and other screenshots from my account that proved it was mine.
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I told him I didn't appreciate it, even if he was using the scar to be flirty with me, but he insisted he loves me anyways. How is that flirty?
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I confessed and tried to explain to her why I made the post. She was still angry and yelled at me, saying that my reasons were lousy and that I only made the post because I wanted attention and was jealous of her. I apologized for not asking for permission, but told her I was just trying to help and she shouldn't be so mad.
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I offered to take the post down, but she shouted, saying it was too late now, and hung up the call. She refused to talk to me, but after talking to mutual friends, I found out that Derek found my Reddit post and assumed it was Valerie's. She had him blocked, so he messaged her mom, asking her to tell Valerie to take down the post and unblock him so they could talk about this.
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Valerie's dad saw the text from Derek, and turns out her mom had lied.
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The dad had no idea. He read the story, and after a lot of denying, the mom eventually confessed. They're getting a divorce. Valerie's dad is really distraught and will be moving in with his brother a couple of states away. Valerie's mom called her, accusing her of posting the Reddit story and ruining her marriage.
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After being really confused, Valerie figured out the account was mine after looking through my other posts. Valerie is telling everyone that I ruined her family, and all of my friends think I am an asshole for posting her story, whether I had good intentions or not.
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I guess I shouldn't have made the post without asking, but I had genuinely good intentions, and I never thought that the post would be found by anyone involved. Also, I feel like the cheater is the one who ruined their family, not me. So, am I the asshole?
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He laughed and said, quote, Absolutely not. I was stunned when he said that, especially in front of his family. I was so upset I got up and walked out of the room. We had a big fight and he kept saying I was being a drama queen and that he said nothing wrong. He doubled down when I said I'd consider postponing the wedding because of his comment. And then he called me crazy.
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But nuts. So, so excited to be a part of the Spotify family. It has been four years of hard work, a lot of episodes to get us here, but we are in a new era, and it is so, so crazy exciting. We're grateful. We're thankful. I'm blown away. I'm just overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed, and I'm a little scared because I'm... nervous how many people are seeing our face for the first time.
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Oh, well, posting updates and then posting this post, reiterating everything that happened. Yeah. They didn't learn their lesson at all. No.
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Like what? Just, I mean, you didn't have to give us a full rundown. You could have been like, hey, I'm not the asshole. I posted something about my friend's life to try to get advice. But it ended up getting out that, you know, it was out there and family's upset now. Like, I was just trying to be helpful, though. But like, you need to re-air everything.
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Dude, because it's like she lost her boyfriend, found out her mom had an affair... Her mom is blaming her and now maybe cutting her off. Yeah. Dad found out getting divorced. So your parents are splitting up like this is like earth shattering.
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I'm looking at this person's account. Account as old as a year. So it doesn't seem like this is just an account that was created to make this troll post, right?
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And so looking at the other posts, there's one on r slash cat advice, seven months old. My cat is sick. What can I do to make him happier and more comfortable? Posting in r slash Danny Gonzalez, Umbrella Academy subreddits.
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Especially when you're sharing details like, my cat is around nine years old and he is really fat. The vet says he's not at the point where it's detrimental to his health yet, but he keeps gaining weight. Like, oh, my God, my friend kept telling me, oh, my cat is getting really fat and I don't know what to do on top of finding a post on their account. That sounds like my life.
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I'd be like, yeah, that's my life. A plus B equals C. Exactly. Quacks like a duck walks like a duck. It's a duck. Looking at the post, though, the original post that she posted asking for advice, two months old, titled, My 26 female boyfriend, 36 male, has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents, 49 male and 50 female, last week. How do I reach out to him?
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She's 26. Okay. So I don't think he could be her dad, but you know what I mean?
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No. And even though like mom and maybe Derek is corroborating the story and saying, oh, yeah, I was 19 in high school.
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Oh, my God. But the original post, like, doesn't... I mean, the ages could be fake because she said she changed stuff. But, I mean, there's nothing, like... super crazy. My boyfriend Derek and I met through mutual friends six months ago, and we immediately hit it off. He's sweet, funny, kind, and just a generally good guy.
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He's super extroverted, and I've never seen him dislike or not click with anyone. I mentioned him to my parents a couple of times, and they said they were excited to meet him. My parents live a road trip away, so me and Derek had to book a hotel nearby. About two weeks ago, we dropped off all of our stuff in the hotel and arrived at my parents' house.
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My parents are the most welcoming people you'll ever meet. They have met some of my past significant others in the past and have always been warm and kind. Since both my parents and Derek are charismatic and welcoming, I thought that the dinner would go smoothly, but I was wrong. It didn't start off too bad. My parents and Derek seemed a bit awkward, but I assumed he was just nervous.
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We sat for dinner and my parents asked us a couple of questions. How did we meet? How serious is the relationship? Et cetera, et cetera. I've never seen Derek stutter or hesitate before this dinner.
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But he did. As soon as I finished eating, we thanked my parents for dinner and said we had to go. It felt like he was rushing to get out of the house. When we got to the hotel room, he ran to the bathroom and I heard him throw up. Oh my God. He said he felt sick and he was going to head back home, but he insisted I stayed and enjoyed the rest of the trip without him.
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His mom said that I'm obviously traumatized by my scar to let it ruin my marriage with her son, and she suggested therapy. She told me that the scar was the issue, not her son who loves me as I am and chose me to be his wife.
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I agreed since I really missed my parents and he seemed to want to be alone. I texted him a couple of times asking how he was doing, if he felt better, but he didn't reply. After two days passed, I started to get really worried that maybe he was really sick and had to go to the hospital or something. So I cut the trip short and headed back home. I went to his apartment and saw he was okay.
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I asked him how he was doing and why he wasn't replying, and he said he felt fine and that I was overreacting. He told me he still felt sick and he wanted to be alone. I went back home and texted him asking if I did anything wrong and if our relationship was okay since he was acting so weird and cold. A week has gone by since the text message and he has not replied.
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Derek is the last person I'd expect to ghost me. I'm torn between wanting to give him space and wanting answers. How do I reach out to him without pushing him further away?
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Yeah. Ask your parents. It sounds like they know each other. Oh, wow. Or something happened that you didn't see or something like that. Oh, my God. I just got chills.
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I don't know. I guess I would have been like, it's kind of weird. They're being so awkward, especially given his age. Like if he's around 36, like it's not the first time meeting the parents. He's not a high schooler. Yeah. Nervous. Like, Like, do they? Right. But I don't know if I would have been like, sounds like they know each other. Like, yeah, that's a job.
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Like, I don't I don't know if I can say I would have guessed that.
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You hurt my daughter. Yeah. Dead. Yeah, something, yeah. A dad joke comment that maybe read wrong or maybe there was a comment that was just wrong. But yeah, that is really interesting. Next comment down. I think OP should tell her parents that she spoke to Derek but now needs to hear their side of the story. Clearly they have met previously and there's a dodgy story to be told.
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Getting to the truth might require OP bluffing that she already knows. These people are geniuses. They should be in Mensa. What the heck? Next comment down. Either he slept with mom before or they had a threesome.
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Dude. That might have been what I thought, actually. Slept with dad. Yeah. I don't. I don't know. He took a cab home. It was a four to five hour drive. Yeah. Who the fuck takes a cab? He really wanted to get away. Yeah. I mean, I will say I took an Uber from San Diego to L.A. once. So I get it. Yeah. Someone ate my Taco Bell. I was really upset.
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I don't know. I feel really horrible right now. I don't know if I said the right thing about postponing the wedding and whether I'm overreacting in this situation. My girlfriends have previously said that my fiance shouldn't even be bringing up the scar like that. Absolutely not.
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Yeah. It was my last straw. Things weren't going well that night. And they ate my Taco Bell. I think it was a chicken chalupa. Yeah. I was pissed.
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Did you throw up? I didn't throw up. Probably not. And that is crazy for him to, like, walk into the hotel. No, that's so sad. And be so stressed he's puking a couple times.
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OP does, you know, give that update. Fake OP, right? Yeah. Hey, sorry, I didn't reply. Most of the comments were just saying that Derek was secretly my brother, which is horrifying. So I wasn't sure how to reply. And then they go on and share the update that like I talked to my mom. Yeah. And told her Derek's reaction was weird after dinner. I asked her for advice or if she knew what happened.
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and i heard her start crying she started apologizing and i didn't understand what she was trying to tell me at first eventually i got her to calm down she told me what happened my mom is a high school teacher and apparently derek was a student in his senior year and she told me that they had an affair oh my god she didn't give me many details honestly i don't even want to know all she said is that they only slept together once before she shut it down and that my father knew and they had attended couples counseling years ago to work through this
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They could have. Yeah, it definitely could have shifted. But let me just make sure that those comments were from like the same time period, you know? Yeah. Those comments are all two months old. Wow. So as old as the post before this update six hours ago.
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Yeah. There's not much about Derek's side, but in the update, which again is not even coming from the person it should be, I went to Derek's apartment again and he invited me in. He said he had to tell me something, but I stopped him and told him that I already talked to my mom and I knew everything.
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He promised me he had no idea up until the point we had come over for dinner where he immediately recognized her. He apologized for ghosting me and said he just didn't know what to say and he was scared that he would ruin my relationship with my parents or maybe ruin their marriage. I forgave him, but I told him the whole situation was just too messy for me and we agreed.
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So yeah, that's how my past few days have gone down. Honestly, I do kind of miss Derek, but not too much since the whole banging my mom thing is a massive turn off.
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I am so, so excited. This is the first week that video is dropping right on Spotify. Direct. Spotify. Direct. Ooh. Yeah. Wow. You were giving like that S that you draw like six lines for and then connect and a little, you know, remember?
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That's not you. That's not you. That wasn't you. That didn't happen to you. And this is where I'm like... You are the biggest asshole. I also think it's one thing to post like the general post for advice. Maybe you could have left out more details, but then give people an update. And now you're posting again to ask people, are you the asshole for posting the post and the update?
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I think this person really gets off on... There's like an addiction to this now, the attention. There's something that this person doesn't get in their life that they're getting from people. Give me an update. I mean, when these stories blow up on Reddit, you'll see OPs come out later and updates saying like, hey, I got hundreds of DMs. I got all these people asking for updates.
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So for someone that doesn't get that a lot in their life, it would probably feel really good.
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After you found out why Derek ghosted your friend. Yeah. Don't you think? Holy shit.
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This is so big. That's such an invasion of privacy now for me to post an update.
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Like at so many points. That to me just screams like this person genuinely needs to start talking to someone, a therapist, and like really evaluate why they felt it was acceptable to do this. Because like if my friend told me something in confidence, which this was, this person probably wasn't going to tell everyone why her and Derek broke up.
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So I'm like, the fact she told you this in such confidence and you violated her trust as a friend.
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And I mean, you know, I am in a way like the dad did deserve to know the truth. Right. I wish the mom wouldn't have lied and said, yeah, he knows we went through therapy. Like, because your daughter...
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I think so. Even if the dad asked, like, hey, why did you and Derek break up? Yeah. Because then it would be like... Like, what do you know why? Mom didn't tell you Derek is the same Derek? And you'd be like, what do you mean? That's who mom slept with.
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It might have not been. It's 31 through 33, give or take when your birthday is and if you're Pisces or Sagittarius.
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Yeah. Someone's yelling the number at their phone or screen now. Regardless.
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I'm 31 on Tuesday. I... I look at high schoolers because my fiance's got step siblings that are in high school and they're driving. They're 16, 17, 18. They look like babies.
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No, but, like, so, like, add in the layer, right, where this... Mom was 32. Yeah. High school kid. High school child. And you're a teacher. You're his teacher. Don't... Didn't... Did you not take an oath?
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No. No. And I get the intention of the first one. But you should have stopped there. Yeah. You should probably have never gone there. Yeah. but you definitely shouldn't have updated. Yeah. Top comment on this new update post that summarizes everything again. Right. And you decided to make yet another Reddit post about it. Insane. Let's just be clear about something, says another user.
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You don't have the fucking right to out people without their permission. You took away their agency. Now you continue to compound the problem by seeking even more attention. Next comment. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
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Or like I understand if it's a conflict that directly involves you because we'll have that a lot where it's like, am I the asshole like for doing this? And it's like, well, yeah. Or no. And then once the person gets a no, they'll send the post to the other people involved. Right. But it directly, it was them. It was their issue. They were hurt. They were X, Y, Z. So it's like so different.
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I hope you guys like it. Okay, our next one for you. This is coming from AITAH, three hours old. I haven't read it. Wow. I was looking for a fresh story for us because I was like, I've got a lot of tabs open, but like nothing's really exciting me, exciting me. I think this one's going to be insane.
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It is titled, Am I the asshole for point blank refusing to be my sister's surrogate because it would ruin my mommy makeover? Maybe there's a better forum for this. I don't know.
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I, 36 female, have had two kids, eight male and five female, and knew after my daughter was born that I was done, had my tubes removed, and then last year I went and had some very expensive surgery to get rid of saggy, scarred skin after years of body changes from pregnancy and breastfeeding and weight loss.
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I finally feel more confident in how I look again, and I have zero desire to put my body through another pregnancy.
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My older sister, 40 female, got married last year, but just recently found out she likely won't be able to carry a pregnancy to term due to her very short cervix. It's obviously devastating for her and her husband, who is a sound guy, and I do feel for them. But instead of looking into other options, she cornered me in our parents' house on Sunday and asked me to be her surrogate.
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Not if I'd consider it, but as if it was the natural solution. Before I could reply, she listed her reasons, like that I've already been pregnant twice, so clearly my parts work, and it shouldn't be a big issue for me to do it again. I tried to be nice about it and said no, that I had my tubes removed for a reason. I don't want to go through pregnancy again.
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I don't want to undo everything I've done to feel good in my body again. I just don't want to. Also, I'm 36 now, which isn't 40, but is quite different to being pregnant in your 20s and early 30s. She did not take it well.
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It's intentional, though. Do you not think? Like, it feels like he's really trying to take her confidence down and, like, neg her in a way, like, where he's just constantly poking, like, an insecurity. And maybe it's not even an insecurity for her, but he's constantly bringing up something that could negatively affect her and using it as a way to, like... I don't know.
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She was upset, saying it wasn't fair that I already got to be a mom and I should want to help her have the same happiness, even if it meant having the surgery redone in the future, and that she would do it for me in a heartbeat. I get that she's having a hard time, but it isn't my fault she has a short cervix, and I don't think she fully understands how difficult the recovery after my surgery was.
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She went crying to my parents after I left, and they are involved now too. My mother notably said, quote, She also pointed out that she sacrificed her nice figure to bring us into the world. I saw red at that one and reminded her that she wouldn't even take my kids for a week or so while I was recovering last year because she said she was done playing mommy when Danny left home.
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Danny is our younger brother, 28 male, if that's relevant. So she's obviously not that self-sacrificing. She also said at the time my surgery was pure vanity and a waste of money. My husband is conflict averse, so was neutral initially saying it was my decision, but he can see the tensions it's causing.
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So even he's saying that maybe we should look into it and see what's involved so we can make an informed decision. And I'm like, there is no we in this. He says, quote, OK, so then you can make an informed decision. That was a couple of days ago. And then my sister brought it up again there today. And I was very blunt with her this time. I told her there was no way in hell I was doing this.
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And then she called me a selfish bitch. So Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to be my sister's surrogate without even looking into it? I'm not even sure what the laws around it are where we live. It's never even crossed my radar before this week. I think legally I would be listed as the child's mother. Am I the asshole?
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You know, and I feel like everyone's kind of treating this as like, oh, pregnancy is a walk in the park. Yeah. No complications, no risk factors. Yeah. No potential for death.
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or losing your teeth or breaking bones like ribs and like just because she's had two good pregnancies successful pregnancies doesn't mean this third one is going to be that yeah also there's no mention of like maybe she had terrible morning sickness or you know hyperemesis gravidarum like where she was throwing up all the time like we have no idea what she actually went through
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and she had her tubes tied so clearly it wasn't a great experience she was done after her daughter yeah so i just think it's crazy that they're like almost like yeah adding that vanity aspect to be like oh you're so vain you're so vain yeah pregnancy is not a walk in the park even if the sister had had a pregnancy herself so that she could say i would do the same for you with like
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It feels like keep her in check, like make sure you don't realize that you're too good for me. Like, I'm just getting a really bad vibe from this.
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It's beyond strange. We do have a couple of comments from OP, OK? There's one here, which I think the legality of this is really interesting to me. So OP responds to someone and she was like, I probably should have looked it up earlier, but I just looked it up now. And I think professional surrogacy is illegal here.
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It's a bit unclear because there was meant to be a new law, but it hasn't been enacted yet. And I was like, I didn't even think surrogacy would be illegal anywhere. But it is. It's legal in some countries and states, including Italy, France, Germany and Nebraska. Wow.
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Yeah. The UK prohibits commercial surrogacy. Spain bans all forms of surrogacy.
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really complex and complicated and i know there's some people that will like use their egg they'll give their egg to the person they're being a surrogate for and then use their other partners like sperm and so it's like there's so many different complexities of it but sounds like this it would be the sister's egg her husband's sperm but op also adds this
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voluntary surrogacy is legal I think it just has to be registered in advance but no I've just spent 20 minutes reading about it and our laws seem very backwards so legally I would be the child's mother and I think my husband would legally be considered the child's father even if we used my sister's and her husband's embryo they would also have to adopt their own biological child which is mad when you think about it yeah that's crazy
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I think that concerned me the most. Yeah. Like I would want my partner to be like, they want you to, you don't want to do it? Okay, end of conversation.
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There's no need to even go further. Like if you don't want to do it,
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I'm bewildered. And the comments? Do they agree with us? They do. Thank God. Top comment. Not the asshole. Your body, your choice. No is a simple answer. Yeah. Next comment down, which I love. Tell your mom that if it is so easy and simple, she can do it. Your body, your choice. She is the selfish bitch because she wants what she wants and to hell with anyone who opposes her.
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Which... I have seen some Facebook posts of people's moms being their surrogate. Oh, wow. So I know you can do it. Are there greater risks?
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It's also a year of her life. No wine, no sushi, no cold meats from the deli. No roller coasters.
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There's a comment here from someone. A colleague of my sister's was the gestational surrogate for her own grandchild. Grandma can indeed do it, even if she is postmenopausal.
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I know. I really... I don't know. I'm like, would I? I'd let my sister-in-law. I would actually, I'd let. It would be a gift if my sister-in-law would be a surrogate for me. But my brother won't let her. She gets cranky when pregnant. Yeah. But... I'm like, I don't know if I'd want my mom to. I'm like, she's... She's been through enough. She's been through enough. She's had Bell's palsy.
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She's had just long COVID stuff. I'm like, she's off the hook, but... Yeah. I'm like, if grandma's going to talk the talk and say you're selfish... Why don't you do it, Mom?
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And there's people that want to be surrogates. Yeah. There's agencies for this. There's ways to do it where it feels very ethical and you have the contracts, you have the legal support, no one's getting screwed, no baby's getting stolen. Like...
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there's a right way to do this and it's not forcing your sister to no so yeah not the asshole god we do have uh an update on this one wow what is it a little bit of an edit edit i'm reading the comments but i can't keep up with them all the general consensus seems to be that i'm not the asshole so thank you for that i was beginning to feel like i was in the twilight zone or something
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To the people who mentioned Kurglage, I don't know if that's an option for her, but I'll suggest she talk to her doctor about it. Or she gets a second opinion. I might let it all cool down for a while first. I've looked into the laws around surrogacy here since posting, and paid surrogacy is definitely illegal here. Voluntary surrogacy is allowed, but the birth mother is listed as the mother.
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And if she's married, her husband is listed as the father, even if it's not their embryo. Wow. So if my sister goes down the surrogate route, she would have to adopt her own biological child. And until then, the surrogate is the legal mother with all a mother's rights and responsibilities, which seems mad. But all the more reason not to do it as far as I'm concerned. That's insane. Yeah.
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On your birth certificate, your aunt would be your mom. I still can't get over that. But.
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So fair. There's so many people out there that never want to be pregnant. Like I'm in the boat of like, I do want kids, but like I am really scared to be pregnant. It's not something I've like dreamed about. And I don't have this, I don't know. And it's weird because like when you tell people that, People always say, oh, no, it's so different when you become pregnant.
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Like, you'll never know what love is like until you're pregnant. And it's just like, I don't know. I think I got a firm concept on love. And it's a risk. It's scary. Yeah. People being able to, like, be a little 3D printer and make another, like, I know it's biology, it's science, it's whatever. But it is really, it's magical. It is insane. Insane. Michaela, thank you so, so much for joining me.
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Of course. Those were so good. I hope so. We're going to have to, like, make sure everyone gets a chance to tell us the favorite story on this very special theme. Still, I know we were just talking. I was like, I don't know what to call it yet. It's like a smorgasbord of stories and people. That's a good smorgasbord of stories. Smorgasbord? Smorgasbord of stories?
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Amazing. All of Mikayla's links will be in the description. Be sure to check her out. On to our next guest. Here we go. Hi.
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Okay, friends, there we go. These next couple of stories, I'll be joined by Spenswa. Hi. Spencer Hunt. Hi, everyone. Spencer, you have just, I feel like you're just a magical person. You started in Starbucks and doing TikToks that way.
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You're now getting your big break in the Hollywood lights, going in movies.
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i was like wait i um the meisner method acting method um again throwing out random names um you're on it you're just the moral of the story is spencer is on it always always on it and i have a feeling you're going to be on it for these next couple stories i think i will be too okay this first one is coming from am i the asshole only a day old oh
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He sucks. End of story. He really sucks. This isn't something I would go on with because it's like, You're maybe going to get scars later. If you have kids, you get stretch marks. Those are scars. What's he going to do? Oh, I love you for all of you except those stretch marks. Like you love me for me. End of story.
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The title is, am I the asshole for refusing to let my girlfriend bring her dead dog's ashes on vacation? On mobile, sorry for any formatting errors. My girlfriend, 29 female, and I, 28 male, have been together for four months. She had a dog that died a few months before we met. I've only ever spent the night at her place.
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I live with my sister and her two kids, so it's a little chaotic at my place. Girlfriend has a small two to three inch tall urn on her bedside table with the dog's ashes. Before she turns off her lamp to go to sleep, she always gives it a little tap at the top and says goodnight as though she is talking to the dog. I think it's weird, but I have never said anything.
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We were supposed to go away for the weekend. On Friday, I was watching her pack and noticed she took the urn and put it in the top pocket of her backpack. I asked what she was doing. She said she didn't want to, quote, leave the dog behind. I told her she was not allowed to bring the urn as it made me very uncomfortable. I didn't want to see it anytime we returned to our hotel room.
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I didn't want her talking to her dead dog after we've had sex, i.e. before we go to sleep. It's weird, and frankly, she's been mourning for this dog too long. She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag. She told me to have fun on the weekend getaway as she would not be coming. I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes over me.
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She said she was choosing herself over me, as I could have spoken to her with kindness and empathy, but didn't. She also said that I didn't get to dictate how long she's allowed to grieve. Then she asked me to leave. She hasn't replied to my texts. I think she's overreacting. My sister said she can see both of our sides.
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Am I an asshole for thinking my girlfriend is weird for being so attached to her dead dog's ashes?
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And I get it's kind of goofy, right? Like, maybe if they're flying, like, if they have a seven-hour flight and, you know, you're going through customs or, like, things like that, then it might be a little interesting because I know there's certain rules to even have ashes in an urn on airplanes.
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So that might be a little more difficult, but it sounded like they were driving in a car. And it was just for a little weekend. Yeah.
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if i were her i'd be scared that like if i left it in the hotel something's gonna happen to it but she doesn't care she's willing to take that risk and for him to be like judging her it's like she's been doing it at home for the past four months you've been dating her and all of a sudden a weekend away is where your foot goes down you draw the line that like what's the difference
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It doesn't matter. It's either you love me for who I am or you don't really love me. I don't know.
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I think it's also it's clearly a source of comfort for her. And I think there's compromises to be made if this is like a big issue for you. Like for me, when my cousin passed away, my aunt gave me some of his ashes in like a necklace.
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Something like that could be really, really meaningful for her. And I think there's different like little things or like I know some people have like put their dog's ashes into a ring and then you like pour resin over it. So it's like a thing. I don't know. I just saw TikTok on this. So I'm like there's other beautiful ways but like she doesn't have that yet. You're not offering that compromise.
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You're literally just judging her and it's like Okay, we do judge our partners here and there. Like, sometimes they give us the ick, whatever. But to feel judged so harshly so early on and then, like you said, like, it was about the empathy. Like, she stood her ground and was like, I'm not going to be talked to this way. I just think he approached this so wrong.
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Even if, you know, maybe this is a little unusual. Mm-hmm. But the approach here is he's an asshole for the approach.
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Yeah, I think that's what it needs to be. We have a lot of comments from people on Reddit and OP responding to people. So there's one comment here. It did get downvoted 612 times. But someone says, you aren't the asshole. And I think it's really fucking weird to travel with ashes. Dodged a bullet, in my opinion. You could have used nicer words, though.
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Opie responds, I don't think I dodged a bullet. She is a wonderful woman. I just didn't want to have a reminder of a dead dog while we were supposed to have a fun and relaxing time. Okay. Yep.
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reasonable at least he's not throwing her under the bus but he's also like kind of i don't know he gets downvoted a bunch for these comments but he's he's kind of like trying to provide context to make what he said and did more valid but it's it's it's not working it doesn't stick yeah so he's talking about the dog and like context of the dog she only had the dog for a few years this wasn't a family pet she rescued the dog and it died a few years later
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She had only known the dog for a few years. I think it was eight or nine when it died. It was diagnosed with cancer and died a couple of weeks later.
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i can't imagine like cats gone take me out good thing cats live a little longer than dogs they can live like 20 30 years i actually recently found well i don't know if it's true because i i'd have to um
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Looks real... He looks really good. Real chipper, young, healthy. Yeah. But what I was going to say, with all of his comments and kind of him implying like, oh, she rescued it, only had it for a few years. He's kind of like...
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implying and maybe this is just my read on it but it feels like he's being like oh well if you adopt a dog that's older you don't have the same connection because you didn't have it as a puppy yeah and it's like you still are pouring your heart and soul into this animal and i would say adopting older animals can be even harder because they're set in their ways they might need more care like
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I'm so sorry if you are disappointed. I'm Morgan, by the way, just in case you didn't know. I'm Lauren.
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I would agree with that. Couple more comments from OP. She already has a custom made ring where the stone was mixed with a bit of ashes, but she doesn't really wear it. And I'm curious about that. Maybe she didn't end up liking it. But if she likes like the actual ashes and the little urn, like maybe putting some of the ashes into a vial, like something like literally a mini urn necklace.
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I think so. I'd get down to, like, the context. Yeah. And, like, why she doesn't wear the ring or like the ring or whatever.
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OP is fighting for. His life. Their life in the comments. Yeah, his life. Top comment on this one. She didn't argue. She simply started to unpack her bag. She told me to have fun on the weekend, get away. She would not be coming. I asked if she was seriously choosing a dog's ashes over me. They're quoting what Opie said. And they go, your girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend likely, sounds amazing.
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Right. I wish she was my friend because she sounds like an awesome person to know. Sounds like you lost that privilege by being an asshole. You're the asshole. Everything she said was 1000% correct. I don't even have anything to add because she spoke for herself so clearly. The fact that you still don't get it shows you have a fundamental problem actually hearing her.
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Read and reread what she said until you get it. We have some edits from OP. Edit number one. The hotel was non-refundable and only a three-hour drive, so I went on the trip without her. Did she pay for half of that? Edit number two. She started seeing a psychologist around the same time we started dating.
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She hasn't told me any specifics, but she said the trauma of suddenly losing her dog brought to the surface other trauma from her past. This is why I think she's been mourning for too long. She's still attached to the dog, even after seeing a professional on a regular basis for several months.
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Yeah. I feel like you guys are puzzle pieces. We're pretty close. I mean, I don't love that Justin doesn't fart. Oh, God, we're doing this again. We got to really let the new people know what they're getting.
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Also like a couple months. OK, what if this dog literally saved her from like a really traumatic experience, bad home life, partner, whatever, like insert X, Y, Z. Like that was her best friend. And it wasn't like this dog was like 16 and you knew it was coming. It was eight or nine and had been diagnosed with cancer and then dropped dead a couple weeks later. Like this is shocking.
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This isn't something she got to prepare for. Right. It was cut short. Mm hmm. Update. God.
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And I'm sure this will make a lot of you happy. Got it. I get it. I'm an asshole. Yay! Thank you!
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You did so good! I texted my girlfriend to say I'm sorry for how I spoke to her and for dismissing her feelings. It was wrong. I also said I would like to apologize in person and offered to bring her over her favorite takeout. She said, quote, all good. Don't worry about an in-person apology. I gathered the things you've left at my house. Let me know when you would like to come pick them up.
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If someone went on a trip without me, that's, like, the ultimate, like, fuck you. Especially if I paid for half or, you know, I was the one that planned and was super excited. Like, I think.
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Yep. And I know like some people would be like, oh, well, maybe she was unpacking to test him. And, you know, that could be looked at as emotional manipulation or whatever. And it's like, no, like I think this is someone that just realized her worth. And this was a boundary for her. And they weren't flying. They were driving a couple hours. It shouldn't have been a big deal. Nope.
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It shouldn't have been a big deal. And the fact he was like, I don't want to look at the urn after we have sex.
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I don't know, put a tissue over it. If you don't want to look at it.
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Yeah. I also think the wording he used here, I told her she was not allowed to bring the urn. Yeah, that's... As a grown adult, very few, very, very, very few people are going to tell me what I can and can't do. And if they're telling me I can't do something for my own safety, yeah, I'll consider it. But this circumstance is not that. Especially after calling it weird.
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crazy but you know there are people out there that say not the asshole i mean people were calling her unhinged mentally unstable like were these all like no offense were they men we have no insight into their accounts can i be really honest with you they're probably straight men and that's just i mean in my opinion or pick me's just and that could be it like they're just kind of
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Not in tune with their, I don't know, sensitive side. Because I look at this as just like have empathy for someone else. Would I do it? No. Is it okay that she does it? If it makes her happy, sure. Like I am so in the boat of like everyone's got to live their life. Life is hard enough as it is. Why do we need to make it any harder on each other? Let people live. Moving along.
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I know. I'm just going to peek at his most recent comments just to see if he did get his stuff and that she still broke up with him. There's a comment from a minute ago. Oh. Just still fighting for his life. He goes, maybe she just needs some time to calm down. Who the hell said that? OP. He's just still not getting it.
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After reflecting, I see there was no nuance. I belittled her grief and told her I think her coping habits are weird. This is a good lesson for him to learn. But, yeah.
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Very peculiar. Okay. It is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing a Donut That My Boyfriend Licked?
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My boyfriend and I are having a small staycation at a hotel for his birthday. We got some Chinese food delivered and I ordered the donuts, basically deep fried biscuit dough rolled in white sugar. When the food arrived, I joked about inhaling the donuts, so he made a whole show of stealing one from me and licking off all of the sugar.
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I'm laughing up a storm when he hands it back to me and then I get confused. He said he didn't actually want to eat it, so he was giving it back to me to eat later. I laughed and said, ew, no way. I'm eating the new ones. This made him quiet.
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We spent a couple of minutes eating in silence before I spoke up and tried to clarify that I would just prefer to eat a new donut with sugar and that it isn't sticky with his saliva. He said that we have swapped all kinds of saliva and it hurts that I'm acting as if he is too disgusting to share food with.
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I took the donut and put it back in the box, but it's pretty much too late. The night has most likely been ruined, and he's still quiet hours later, and nothing I'm saying or doing is helping lift his mood. Am I the asshole for not taking back the donut?
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I just wonder, like, what did he want from this? Was his pouting and this, you know, what feels to me like a manipulative reaction? Because this is not something that needed to ruin the night.
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No. And it's, I get it. It was funny in the moment. Super cute. He did it for the plot, whatever, but it's okay if no one eats it. It's one little donut. Am I annoyed that he's not going to eat it? Yeah. Because it's a donut. It sounds amazing. Delicious.
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But it's like, you can't expect to like spit all over something or like, you know, like when you're having a drink and you can just see the backwash floating around and it's like, here, here's the last sip for you. And it's like, Gee, thanks. I wanted to gulp down your spit. Yeah. I also had this image of, like, they did it in, I think, the movie The Sandlot. And I'm so sorry.
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This might gross some of you out. But, you know, when you, like, as a kid would get pinned down and someone would, like, drop spit over you. Oh, yeah.
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That is, like, what this feels like to me. Yeah. It's just, like... I don't want to just eat your saliva. Making out is so different. But like to eat your saliva.
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No, and it's one thing to have this all happen, lick the donut, whatever. It's the reaction I have a big problem with. And it's giving a lot of red flags. Like, I think there's a bit more to unpack there.
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Top comment on this one. Okay, your title said he licked it, which I thought would be okay. Then your explanation is that he licked all of the sugar off it. That is totally not the same thing. Ew, I'm not eating that. Same. The best donuts are fresh and covered in cinnamon sugar. And after it's been in someone's mouth that much, it's no longer fresh. It's not about the saliva.
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It's about the donut. Next comment down. Come on. It's about the spit too. I love my partner and kissing is totally different, but I'm not drinking a shot of his spit for fun. Same goes for other bodily fluids. Context matters. That right there. That right there. Context matters. Thank you. Not the asshole, says the next one. I wouldn't want to eat it either.
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These are my regular co-hosts because there might be some people coming in. They might be seeing the pod up on bright billboards. They might be like, what is this two hot takes? Reddit stories? Crazy drama? Yeah, we get into it all. We've been here four years. And if you're new, you will come across some iconic stories like The Coconut, The Butter Sticks, Slugs.
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It doesn't matter how much saliva you've already shared. To me, it's like he's expecting you to eat something he's already eaten. It's weird to me this made him upset to the point he ruined the evening.
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Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think there's another really long comment here that's like, it's honestly like six paragraphs, so I'm not going to read the full thing. But essentially, this person is just being like, you didn't ruin anything. He deliberately spoiled something that you'd literally just told him you were looking forward to enjoying. Rude and unhygienic.
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Pouted disproportionately with a level of exaggeration that screams bad faith and manipulation and has the desired result of you second-guessing your correct and normal reaction. Which again, that just like glaring red flags, testing boundaries, emotional manipulation, trying to like almost, I don't know if it's gaslighting, but like purposefully make you feel bad and doubt yourself and your gut.
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Yeah. And five, kept up the act for long enough to ruin his own damn birthday celebration.
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It's not about the donut. I think this really is about more a sense of control or just something else.
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Something else is at play here. But we have no comments from OP on this. Very active Reddit account. Still posting after this has been posted. So maybe we'll get an update eventually. But definitely giving real. I mean, OP was posting in rslashbaking, looking for recipes that take up a lot of active time. Feeling really low and I usually like to bake for myself to keep myself busy.
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But I'm in need of ideas. So very real account, and I'm hoping we'll get an update eventually.
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I don't think they're breaking up. I think there's more info needed.
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Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for coming on. Helping me introduce the world, hopefully, to Two Hot Takes.
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What's that saying? You got your ears to the ground. You're with it. Is that pulse on the beat? You got a good pulse on the beat? I have no idea.
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Yeah. And Spencer will be tagged in everything in this show's description, Instagram, socials, everything. So be sure to go check out his stuff. Okay.
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Oh, my gosh. Chris, you've been through it with me. I think the first time we met... I really I baptized you by fire. I gave you the coconut story.
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Well, I might have I might have a couple of today that maybe top that in a different way.
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Oh, this is going to be so good. I'm just so excited to have you again.
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That's so good. I mean, Chris, I don't think it's going to be as bad as what I gave you when you came on tour with us for live shows.
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Let's see how you feel about this next one. Okay, this is coming from r slash relationship advice, 10 days old. It is titled, I think that my 25 male wife, 23 female, thinks that I murdered her ex.
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About a month ago, while out shopping, my wife and I ran into her high school boyfriend and his mom on the street. It was a slightly awkward encounter. His mom made a comment about how good they looked standing next to each other, quote, like it was meant to be. We said we were in a bit of a hurry as we were walking away.
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fourth grade playground. First time I got called fat. Oh, I remember exactly who said it. I won't. I won't out him. Tyler.
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He said something along the lines of, quote, hey, we should grab coffee sometime.
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I didn't think too much of it at the moment. Sure, his mom was awkward, but they'd been broken up for about seven years, and I do think he meant it to just be friendly.
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But still, we had a quick check-in after where we both agreed it was awkward and that I wasn't too upset, and that I wouldn't even necessarily mind them meeting for coffee, provided that it became clear if he still had feelings or was making advances that she would cut him out. She wasn't even sure she wanted to take him up on it, so it was all purely hypothetical.
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That evening, I met up with some friends for drinks and was home by 1am. That next morning, my wife got a message from her friend that her ex had died that night.
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We got a few more details over the next couple of days, but it seemed he suffered from epilepsy and that night in a freak accident had a seizure, fell, and hit his head. What does A-F-A-I-K mean?
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As far as I know, there's no foul play suspected or criminal investigation or anything like that.
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In the weeks since, she started acting really strange. She hasn't been abnormally sad that he died, but more like cautious and fearful around me. She hasn't made any kind of direct accusation, but had been asking me a lot of questions where I went drinking with my friends, who I was with, what time each person arrived and left, etc.
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She's lately mentioned that she wanted to spend some time with a friend to catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to have to ask her whether she thinks I murdered him or to have to tell her that I didn't. I'm even afraid to bring it up and whether that would just feed into whatever she seems to be going through. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?
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I mean, can you imagine you love someone, you trust them enough to marry them, and then, like, crazy, you know, tragedy happens, but you think your partner did it? What?
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He seemed, like, very chill about their encounter, even with how weird it was. I mean, the mom being like, you two look like you're meant to be. You look so great.
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I would have been like, okay, let me just see myself out. Okay, I'll go fuck myself. Thanks.
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Communicate. Which is what the top comment says. You don't need to ask her that. You need to ask her why her demeanor towards you has changed. All caps. Communicate.
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Next comment down. Communicate. And then update us on how it went because I am invested.
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Well, we have a little bit of an edit. No idea what it says, but let's see. Edit, thanks for the feedback. Just wanted to throw a quick update. I am going to ask her when I get home from work. I always knew it needed to be a conversation. Just needed to hype myself up to actually do it and figure out how I wanted to approach it. We'll let you know how it goes.
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And again, for what? Mm-hmm. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole. That's hurtful, disrespectful, and calling attention to something that is very much a part of you in a negative way. When you love someone, you do so not out of spite of the things that make them unique, but because of those things.
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Nothing. Just a couple comments. about, like, how they got together. We got together in university four years ago, and our first wedding anniversary is coming up in about three months.
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OP also says here, I definitely don't feel very secure in my relationship at the moment. Physically safe, sure. And for the record, I'm quite confident I didn't murder anybody. I was where I said I was, and I'm like 99% sure the bar I was at has security cameras. I don't think I'm going to end up on a true crime documentary anytime soon. But divorced? Possibly.
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No, sir. I just have another one, another story for you today. And this one is insane.
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So this is coming from r slash true off my chest. It is titled, my husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old home alone and refuses to explain why.
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My husband is 43 and I'm 31. We've been married for seven years and have a five-year-old and a nine-month-old baby. My husband left our children alone and he refuses to admit it or tell me where he was. I'm furious, enraged, and my husband keeps telling me I'm making a big deal about nothing. This just happened this weekend. I'm on the board of directors for a local nonprofit organization.
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I'd venture to say that scar has shaped how you feel about yourself, the world, relationships, etc., and contributed to the woman you are today. OP responds and says, Thank you for your comment. True. I feel like he has let me down because he, of all people, shouldn't be commenting on my scar. But I thought he meant well. But now? I feel like it's deliberate, but for what purpose? I have no idea.
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I had to attend an event for that organization this past Saturday, and I was gone for most of the day. My husband was supposed to be home with our kids. I texted him a few times, and he responded. When I called around midday, he didn't respond. And that's not very unusual. Shortly after that, I got a call from my mom.
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She said my son had just called her, and when she asked him what he and his sister were doing, he said they were both watching TV. When she asked where their dad was, he said his dad wasn't there. My mom asked him several other questions, and from my son's response, she believed he was telling the truth and that my husband wasn't there and that there was no adult there at all.
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She said he didn't seem to be scared, alone, or worried about where his dad was at. He just called her to chat. He has a tablet designed for children.
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He has a tablet designed for children with pre-programmed contacts that he can call. It's only a few people, just family members. I left the event immediately and began texting and calling my husband repeatedly. He didn't respond to my first several attempts. It took him about 10 minutes. I was halfway home at that point to respond.
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I was so confused, so worried, really mad, and I asked him where he was. He said he was at home. I told him our son had just told his grandmother that he was home alone with his baby sister watching TV about 15 minutes ago.
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My husband denied it, and I told him I was too upset to talk and drive. When I got home, I checked on the kids right away, and they were both fine. I asked my husband again, where was he? He said he was home the entire time. He doesn't know what our son was talking about, but he must have been just confused since he had gone to the basement to do some laundry. I ran down to the basement.
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It was the same load of laundry I'd thrown in the dryer the night before. He didn't do any laundry when I was gone.
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I asked my husband why my son would be confused about whether his dad was home or not. Where in our home would he have gone and for how long for our son to think his dad wasn't home? That doesn't make sense with a five-year-old and a nine-month-old baby. You wouldn't leave them unattended that long. Why was he nowhere to be found when my mom asked my son to go check certain areas of the house?
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I've begged my husband to just admit it, stop treating me like an idiot, and to stop accusing our son of lying. Just tell me the truth, because being lied to right to my face is so incredibly maddening. He insists he was home, but he can't come up with any believable story of where he was at or what he was doing during that time.
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The way he answers me when I ask him about it and demand truthful answers is so dismissive. When I tell him, quote, you left our children alone, he quickly says, no, I didn't. So anyways, he says, I'm overreacting and letting our son's imagination drive me crazy. I am convinced he was gone. We don't have a ring camera, but at least one of our neighbors does.
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I'm so upset about this that I'm tempted to ask our neighbor for the ring footage.
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I had to go out to my car and scream and cry because I got so upset. Of course, I didn't want my kids to see my reaction. I can't put into words how upset I am about the fact that I know he must have really left them alone, but I have no proof and I'm being treated like I'm just a paranoid nutcase of a woman slash mother by him.
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Yeah, be honest. But also, like, if you're going to cheat, maybe don't leave your nine month old baby alone. Find a time where you're not being a dad and do it then. Like, don't be so disrespectful. No. I mean, if you're going to be disrespectful, at least have some respect for someone. Yeah, don't involve the kids like that.
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Your kids, a five-year-old and a nine-month-old, there's so many things that could have gone wrong. They're babies.
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I have not had a child yet. I do not know. But I mean, he was gone longer than at least 20 minutes. Right. Like he called grandma, had a full conversation with grandma, went around the house with his little tablet, like plain eye spy. Then grandma called mom, mom called him and tried to drive home. And that was 15 minutes. So like, this is at least 20 minutes.
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So, top comment on this one. When my now ex did this, it was drugs. I didn't know about it. He told me months later when I found out that he often left at night and put the kids in the living room together, quote, so if the house burned down, at least they'd be together. My youngest was under a year. My oldest was five. Don't stop asking questions. Holy shit.
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Honestly, don't put it past Reddit. Don't put it past Reddit. But this next comment is really interesting. Wait, gag. Gag. That is so true. Because imagine the first time you're little and you can't find your parents. You start crying. You do not have this calm, I'm going to call grandma on my tablet reaction. Wait, gag. He leaves them alone all the time.
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So someone else goes, it's either drugs or an affair. Also, the fact that your five-year-old was calm and nonchalant about it makes me believe he does this frequently enough that the kids are used to it. And OP responds, my mom said she chatted with my son for at least five minutes before she asked him where his dad was. And when she asked, she still didn't think anything was wrong.
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She was just trying to make conversation. He gave no indication that anything was wrong. And when she started asking him more questions regarding his dad's whereabouts, he didn't seem phased. OP just says like he definitely won't be left alone with them anymore unless it's a test where I am secretly watching the entire time oh my god please tell me she did this
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A lot of people are asking, does husband have any accounts, bank accounts that she's not aware of that she could start looking through to gather evidence and really build a case? And OP responds, he has a separate bank account that I don't have access to. It's not a secret account. I know it exists. I don't have a debit card for it. I'm not named on the account and I don't have login details.
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I have no clue what's in it. We have a joint account too. So, I mean, very easy of him to hide things.
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Well, I mean, this story is coming from February 4th. It's less than a month old. We could still get more updates, but let's see what this one says.
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Oh, you know, the neighbors are going to get a kick out of it, too. Everyone loves a little neighborly drama.
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So for the update. Last weekend, my husband left our five-year-old and nine-month-old home alone while I was gone and then refused to admit it or provide a plausible explanation. Since then, we've had many arguments about it. I've been living in a constant state of anger and frustration. I didn't want to fight about it anymore, but I couldn't help it and I kept bringing it up again and again.
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I couldn't lay low and pretend to get over it while I waited for him to do it again and catch him in whatever was going on. I also knew that demanding he tell me the truth wasn't going to get me anywhere. Since he had been refusing to talk and deflecting for days, all it was going to do is make me enraged and feel like I was about to have a brain aneurysm.
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I told him to hand me his phone so I could check his location at that time. He refused. He said he wouldn't do it and that it was a violation of his privacy. He won't be treated that way and refuses to give in to my delusions. You think I enjoy being in a situation where I have to beg my husband to show me his phone so I can see where he was at? I hate it. I don't want to live that way.
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I told him it's simple. If he was really at home the entire time, just prove it. Why wouldn't he want to clear this whole thing up?
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Sir, why are you fighting? Like, at this point, it doesn't matter if it's principle, right? Like, I don't want you to invade my privacy. You should trust me. Oh, the principle of it. It's clearly time has gone on. She's not getting over it. If you're innocent, prove your innocence because you're not looking innocent.
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I got so mad that he wouldn't turn over his phone that I told him I was going to the neighbors to get their doorbell footage. At first, he was like, fine, go do it. He didn't think I actually would. He knows I don't like to air drama to others, so he probably figured I'd just swallow all of this crap he's been giving me.
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Luckily, I was totally being driven by anger at this point, so nothing was going to stop me from going to the neighbors. When I actually started to go out the door, he tried to stop me and followed me out the door. I felt pure anger rushing through my veins, nothing else.
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The neighbor, who I've probably said less than 10 words to the entire time we've lived here, told me he would send me the footage. I went home, told my husband that the neighbor didn't have the footage from that day anymore, and told him I just needed to go to the store and cool off. So I put the kids in the car and went and parked somewhere while I waited for the neighbor to send me the footage.
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Like, super manipulative. You're traumatized. So there is a comment here that someone says, Yeah. And Opie goes, to be honest, I didn't see it this way at first, but I guess the way he worded it, especially making those comments seem flirty, has been driving me insane. And this is the next comment after that. I don't see how you found your example flirty. Look up negging.
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I have the neighbor's number now too, and he told me if I need any more footage, he will be happy to give it to me. So for the video. The video...
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The video shows a blue car that I don't recognize show up and park in our driveway. A blonde woman gets out of the car and goes towards my house. She walks on the outside of our garage towards the gate leading to our backyard. The gate is too far back and out of the way to be seen by the doorbell footage. She and her car were there for 23 minutes. Imagine that.
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The car leaves right around the time that my husband called me to say he was home and had been home the entire time, as I was rushing home in a panic and calling him on repeat. One of two possibilities as to where they went.
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She either came in through the side door of the house, which does provide direct access to the basement, or, and what I think is more likely, is that they were in the back most area of our yard, which is a gated pool area. Immediately behind our house is a grass lawn. Then you step down a few steps and we have a patio. And then there is a fully gated area where the pool is.
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It's not like you think of when you picture a gated pool. It's a full six-foot wood fence all the way around, plus even taller landscaping for added privacy. You can't see into the area at all unless you're inside. I think it's more than likely that they were back in there because my son said his dad's keys were gone, and we keep that gate locked with a key.
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The pool is closed for winter, but there's one small building back there, sort of like a shed that we converted into a changing area. And there is a covered patio with furniture. I am fully convinced that's where they were. So technically he was home, but in an area totally removed from the house and where he couldn't see or hear the kids if something happened.
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I asked him how he could explain this. What were they doing? I obviously don't need him to tell me what they were doing, but for some reason, I still had hope that he'd finally be honest. He wasn't contrite. He showed no remorse. He was just like, yeah, she was here, but I obviously never left. Okay.
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Who is she? How long has this been going on? And if he's going to be such a disgusting, despicable excuse of a man, then why couldn't he at least have found any other time and any other lie or excuse other than when he was home alone with our kids? I told him I know this has happened before, and I demanded to know how many times he's done this when he's been home alone with the kids.
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He swears this is the only time, but he still doesn't have the balls to confess what they were doing. I don't believe him that this was the only time. FYI.
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I still have so many questions and I still feel like my heart is beating 200 times a minute. My blood pressure is through the roof. I've cried a lot, sobbed, begged for somebody to help me, yelled, screamed, ordered a bunch of books about divorce and custody. And you know what?
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The next day after our multiple explosive fights, him putting hands on me and me seeing the evidence, he acted like everything was totally normal and like none of this stuff ever happened.
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done girl immediately done done i woke up seething exhausted broken and he's acting like everything is totally normal he said he was ordering breakfast to be delivered from our favorite breakfast place he asked if i wanted to go to the store together later and try this new recipe for chili tonight what why would i want to do any of these things with you
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Absolutely no acknowledgement of anything he's done and what's transpired between us the past few days. He deserves an Oscar for how well he is able to act like none of it happened. Completely comfortable and non-phased. I know that it's a waste of my energy, but I desperately want him to admit the full truth of what he did that day and any other day with this woman. I want to hear it from him.
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It won't change what he's done, but he could at least have the respect and decency to be honest now that he's caught. That's ridiculous thought though, right? How foolish of me to expect this man to show decency and honesty now. If he was a decent and honest man, he wouldn't have had a strange woman over to our house and been out of sight of our kids for 23 minutes.
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His continued denial and refusal to admit to anything other than the bare minimum, his attitude like I'm somehow being controlling or infringing on his rights by asking for information, that's almost more hurtful than him cheating on me.
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It's almost like he's trying to love bomb her now. And it's like... I didn't love their age gap at the beginning. I know there's some people that have huge age gaps, and that works for their relationship, and that's amazing. But she's 31 now, and he is 43. They've been married for seven years. What's 31 minus seven?
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And so like, how long were they dating? Were they dating at 22 and 34? Like, you know what I mean? Like that's just such, they're at two very different spots in their life. And so I think all of his behavior now is like giving red flags. It's giving very controlling. It's giving abusive. It's not a healthy relationship.
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Thank you, Sharper View, because that's what this is. Like, this is someone making negative comments about you in hopes that you try to then seek their approval. You really try to, like, impress them. And it's a power dynamic thing. And it's so gross. There is one last comment from OP. It's in response to this. He got his mom to gaslight you?
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I mean, you kind of unfortunately have to. Like, I know there's a lot of times where you don't need closure. But this feels like one of those times, like, you just need, like, the evidence to not feel so crazy. Especially with the way he's gaslighting. Where he's confronted with this video evidence of another woman coming into their home. And he goes, yeah, she was here. But I didn't leave.
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Okay, so you won a trophy for not leaving the house. You still left a baby, a nine-month-old baby who could have just rolled over and died alone for 23 minutes. Sir.
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I... I mean... But we got a woman in the first one. She was goofy. It's just... People, like, have people just lost the plot lately? Like, I...
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I mean, we have covered chaos over the past four years. Absolutely.
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I think he fully expected to be able to have that power over her. I think he fully expected he could gaslight, provide her some pancakes, and she would move on.
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I know. We do have a couple other comments from OP just kind of talking like, I'm concerned for my mental health right now too. And so understandable, like your whole world is kind of crashing down. But I think in these situations, like you just need to get out, take your kids, go stay with your mom for a little bit, set up a camera before you leave. Because She will be there.
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I bet this isn't the only constant douche move in your relationship.
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I mean, she will come back. But I mean, commenting about like how I'm not sure what the current footage I have will really prove as far as the court is concerned, because like it doesn't show them cheating. It just shows her coming in. So I definitely think she needs to set up cameras.
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And OP goes, thank you. I thought the same thing when she made the trauma comment. It hurt my feelings because I've always been accepting of my scar and never thought of it as traumatizing. Yeah, the traumatizing part is that family. Yeah. Not the scar.
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A tin hat wearing a guy. I mean, she needs to do something, right? Like, I think at this point, a divorce is not only inevitable, but absolutely necessary. Bare minimum. She does. Bare minimum. And she does, like, clarify, like, he grabbed my arm to stop me from going to the neighbors. He didn't hit me. But regardless, he put his hands on you.
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He was trying to obstruct you from getting this evidence because he knew he was guilty. And at that point, as you've said, the jig is up. You could have came clean then. You didn't have to try to stop her from getting out of the house. That's, that's just being a psychopath.
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No. Bad. Very bad. And last comment we have from OP is 23 days ago. We have no other updates, no other comments. So I'm hoping OP is out there, hears this, knows that It's okay to leave. It's okay to get out. Like, look after yourself, your safety, your kids. You got to go.
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It's very concerning because like even when and I'd love for like maybe a therapist to chime in on that. Like, hey, what what what's going on in his brain where you are very clearly caught, caught evidence presented before you and you still are like doubling down that nothing's going on. Nothing's happening. You're still gaslighting. Like, what is that? Like, what is that?
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Well, also, like, what are they implying by saying, like, oh, your scar is traumatizing you? It's like, does my scar scare you? What are you implying? I know.
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You know, I do have one that people have been tagging me in that is pretty... Nausea inducing. But I figured I'd ease into it. I didn't want to scare any newcomers that might be discovering us this week. And, you know, we'll get back. We'll get there. And you can be a part of it.
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Can't wait. When we're in person. I want to feel your scream just send shockwaves through the studio.
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Chris, thank you so, so much for coming on and just being the most amazing person. I just appreciate you so much. You are one of the most authentic, kind, funny, smart, witty people I've met on this normal person to podcaster journey. And I just, I love you.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
But you have an amazing YouTube channel. You have a new show coming. Where can people find you?
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
Oh, okay. I lied. I did scroll a little further and I got laser hair removal. Ass shot does come up.
Two Hot Takes
206: Chaos as Usual..
So I love you. I love you. I love you that you're in the family. But thank you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Sometimes it feels like that when you're a kid, though. Oh, my. No, my brother actually did hate me and he didn't like me until I went to college. Matt, I feel like he said that. He he has openly admitted it. I came in and I fucked up his perfect only child life. And it's so funny.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Fuck you, Matt. No, I'm just kidding. We're we're good now. But top comment on this one. With 4K upvotes about... So it's okay for him to humiliate you, but not for you to defend yourself?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I honestly, I think she could have gone harder. Oh, yeah. I think her comment was like very respectful, tasteful. But it was like a subtle jab. And it could go over some people's heads. Actually, David, I grew up in a small town, not the jungle. And while we didn't eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people's cultures, which you seem to have missed. I love it.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Actually, David. Ew, David. Yeah. So, I mean, it was very pointed, right? It got the point across. Like, you're being disrespectful.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah. That's it? Yeah. The comic goes on to say, obviously it wasn't harmless. It was deeply bigoted. And so were all the people who laughed. He's waiting for you to apologize. And I suggest you have a conversation about whether your feelings matter. And does he really think of you in the way he described? And why he felt that everybody having a laugh at you was okay.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It's so random. I don't know. But then, okay, so that was my weird one. And then my positive is I really just love, like, my community and where I live. Aw. I was riding my horse today, and all of a sudden, this little lady, like, pulled up out front of a house in her little Subaru and opened the back door. And, like, I thought a dog was going to hop out. Mini pony. Two goats. Aw.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Because he doesn't sound like he cares much about how you were feeling or what position he put you in. Are there any other red flags you've been letting go? Not the asshole. Bada boom, bada bang.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I know. And did you see the one, the remix I sent you where it goes bing bop, boom bing, bing bop. That's why I showed that to him. Fly like paper, get high like... I was like, this is a vibe. So I think OP might have responded to that because the comment after is deleted and the account's deleted now too. Hmm.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
But someone replies back to it and goes, no man that loves slash values you will expect you to make yourself smaller for his ego. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
So I'm so curious what OP responded to because that has to have been OP. Yeah. And then the next comment down, 100%, he wants her to feel smaller so he can feel bigger. Right. And next comment down. Yeah. Yeah. And then a bunch of people just kind of like continue on that thread. Like, same here. Latina, Mexican, married to a white man.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
There's no way he would make hurtful jokes about me or my hometown. If anything, he praises my culture and is always educating people if they have misconceptions about it.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
God, you could have been on Father Knows. Why? We did an episode and the only word that came out of my mouth was like, he doesn't respect her. He doesn't respect her. Maybe it's your time, Lauren.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Okay. Well, Account has been suspended. Maybe OP will create a new account to give us an update, but I think it's very clear based on the comments. Not the asshole. Moving along, moving along. Number two, baby. This is four months old. Also coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the asshole for pouring my boyfriend's raw milk down the drain because I found out it's dangerous? Raw milk.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Unpasteurized milk. Have you heard people on that trend? No. It's a thing. So I recently found out that my boyfriend has been buying and drinking raw, unpasteurized milk. He grew up on a farm, and apparently his family always drinks it straight from the cow. And he's been doing the same ever since we moved in together. At first, I didn't think much of it. Being a vegan, I never drank it myself.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
But I started doing some research after I saw the label on it literally says, quote, not for human consumption. Apparently, raw milk can carry harmful bacteria like salmonella, E. coli, and listeria. I freaked out when I read that. I don't want him to get sick or expose me to something dangerous.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
So when I saw a fresh bottle of raw milk in our fridge yesterday, I panicked and poured the entire bottle down the drain. I thought it was the safest thing to do. When my boyfriend got home, he immediately noticed and was pissed. He said he spent a lot of money on that milk and that he's been drinking it for years without a problem.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
He accused me of not trusting him and said I had no right to throw away something he enjoys just because I disagree with it. I tried explaining that I was just concerned for his health and ours, but he said I was being a control freak. Now he's barely talking to me, and I feel like there's this huge distance between us. Am I the asshole for pouring out the milk?
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202: 4 Years Deep..
I thought I was doing the right thing, but I'm starting to wonder if I overstepped.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
We can come back if you think of it. But like, I don't know. Did someone cut you off on the highway? Is this today? Or just like recently? What's one thing in your life you have to be thankful for or that you feel really positive about?
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah, this is giving... It's giving the same vibe as a story we read a while ago. I think it was on the Olivia O'Brien episode, but it was about this guy who collected exotic yogurt. Oh, very cool. And he had this one. He had this one yogurt from Iran and it was like illegal to have. And so she threw it out. So it's like, it's kind of the same vibe though.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Oh my God. We just saw her at like a Spotify party too. I know. I was like, hi. But I get where she's at because I don't know where you all are going to fall. We might have some raw milk drinkers out there. But there is a lot of like debate on drinking raw milk right now. And like, it's good for you. No, it's not. It can kill you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
And I. Overall, yeah, raw milk, you shouldn't drink it. It's not meant for human consumption. I haven't heard of this trend, so... Oh my God, it's like all the... It's bad.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah. Yeah. Very different. Very. Yeah. But don't drink raw milk. It literally, it's actually, it is dangerous. The bird flu is really spreading around right now. Yeah. Eggs. Eggs are hard to get these days. They're finding the bird flu has gone from like just simple birds to now like it's being found in cows. Yeah. Oh. And so you know what you can find in raw milk? Bird flu. Yeah.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
So don't drink raw milk. Cook that shit. Or whatever you do. Pasteurize it? Yeah. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah. Oat milk early here. Yeah. I love an oat milk. But I also... Overall, yeah, she was, you know, kind of disrespectful about it. She should have had a conversation. Maybe they both, you know, go on Google and learn some stuff. But I did find this comment from him really funny. His family always drink it straight from the cow. And as I read that, I was just envisioning him-
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I love an alternative milk. Me too. I think it tastes better. I do too. It's so sweet. There's a farmer's market in Hollywood. If anyone ever visits LA, there's a really amazing farmer's market in Hollywood off of Selma and... Selmanella. Selmanella. No, it's Selma. S-E-L-M-A. Off of Selma and Nella. And Kohanga. Kohanga. And it's the best farmer's market there is.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Justin's mom is making her own almond milk now. I think a lot of people are.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
She makes the best little salads. She's just such a good cook. I know. And still just a little badass in the corporate world. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what the comments say. What do you think the overall vote on this one is? You're the asshole, right? Overall vote was asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment. You're the asshole. Yeah. You panicked and poured it down the drain.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
What was it going to do to you? I know, right? You could have left it in the fridge and then told him you had a concern. Yeah. You should have discussed it like a normal person instead of reacting to a bottle of milk as if it was about to mug you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I know. I wonder if in her head she was like, oh, it contains like potentially salmonella and E. coli and listeria. Oh my God, it's in our fridge. What if it contaminates the rest of our food?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah, I'm curious. There's a lot of comments after that making jokes. Someone goes, this is what got me panicked by an inanimate bottle of milk. Someone replies to that and goes, I had a flatmate once told me he was intimidated by tofu. Hmm. Tofu is probably the least intimidating food I can think of. Yeah. Next comment down. I have to politely disagree. I once ate tofu thinking it was chicken.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I'm not against tofu, but when you're expecting a different texture, that'll really startle you. I would feel like it's the I don't know that I've had that.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
No, but it's... Unless it's flavored. Sometimes you get a bad tofu and it's like, it feels like old jello that you can't like bite into. Whoa. Like I... Don't ruin it for us. Well, you know that? There's a tofu recipe I want to try where they put it in like a blender and add a bunch of like everything but bagels, seasoning or whatever. Like it looks really good.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
But one time, there's this like chain here in LA and I should have known. I think it's called veggie grill. And so everything's vegetarian. Well, guess what? They had a chicken wrap. And I ordered the chicken wrap. It wasn't chicken. Yeah. Well, why call something chicken if it's not chicken? It probably had quotes around it. I don't know if it did.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
That should be illegal. That honestly should be illegal. I didn't eat any of it. I took a bite and I was like, something's wrong with this chicken. He threw it away. It's not chicken. It's chicken. I didn't have any money at that time. I was in grad school. Oh, my God. It was so bad. You're like crying over it. It was disgusting. No offense to people that eat tofu chicken. I like tofu.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I just haven't had it in a long time. Well. If you can cook tofu right, there's a difference between that and chicken. Chicken. Whatever the fuck it was. Weird. But okay, moving along. Another one of this week's partners is VIA. February is the month of love, and you could elevate your passion using the natural power of hemp with VIA.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
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Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
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Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
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Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
This month of love, elevate your love life with Via. I'm very curious what your thoughts are on this next one we have. It is coming from Relationship Advice, two months old. It is titled, The guy, 22 male, that I, 21 female, am dating is learning ASL for my brother, but my friends think it's creepy. How do I proceed with this? Why would they think it's creepy? That's a good question, Lauren. Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Throw away because my regular account has some personal info. Also, fake names used. I met John in a college class last semester. He's an overall great guy, and he's very respectful and kind. He also has a great sense of humor, and we have a lot of similar interests. We've been friends since then, and we've started dating this July. He's the first person I've ever dated in my life.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Last September, he met my family when I visited home for my brother's birthday. My brother, Trev, 19 male, has been deaf since birth, so my whole family communicates with him either through sign language, Trev's lip reading, but we still just sign as a reflex, or through text. During our small celebration at home, it was clear that my parents liked John.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
He was very charming and funny and respectful. He even tried to connect with Trev by typing some of his jokes for Trev to read, although my brother could lip read as well. Whenever John would tell a story, either I or my parents would sign for Trev. My parents said that they're happy that I found a sweet and caring guy in John. Of course, I'm glad to hear this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I feel like you were just trying to mess with me. Well, we're celebrating your new job, the four-year anniversary of Too Hot Takes, but... I was holding it. Wait, did you see my post last night? Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I don't know. I reposted it maybe this morning when I woke up. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. This is why it's very, very, very important that you hold the cage, twist six times, and then slowly wiggle it off because you can kill people. That's why I was holding it really aggressively if you like zoom in on my hand. But no, I was going to pop it at the right time.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Just the safest champagne popper girl of all time. I almost took an NHL player's eye out once and it scarred me ever since.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah. So I was practicing. Oh, God. That really didn't feel. What were we saying before this rudely popped? Four years.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Neurons aren't firing. I need to get a brain scan. I'm curious if I have a tumor in there. Oh, Morgan. Why? Hypochondria. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I feel like I have trouble finding words. You are like one of the best speakers. Expressive aphasia. You have a podcast.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Okay, we do have a couple edits on this post. Edit, wait, whoa. I took a break to work on a paper and there are now 1K comments. I'll try to process everything, but thank you for your kind words, Reddit. Yes, John is a wonderful guy and has so far given me no reasons to doubt his sincerity.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It's only my friends who planted the seeds in my mind since they've all had experiences with dating and relationships. So the pressure kind of got to me. Thanks for your insights. Well, guess what? I think your friends have unfortunately dated people that don't like them. They don't know what it's like to be in a good, happy, healthy relationship is what I'm hearing. Edit number two.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I went to class and did a lot of schoolwork. Came back to this post with over 4K comments. Didn't expect this. I'll make sure to read everything. But so far, I'd like to thank everyone who weighed in on this. A lot of your insights have been truly eye-opening. And it really looks like I've gotten a lot of reflection to do with my relationships and connections. Again, thank you so much.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Trying to see if we have any other comments from OP. Do have some insight about the friends. They don't really interact with my brother that much. Whenever they see him, it's mostly just a smile and polite wave. Then we do our own thing. OP's kind of replying to someone here, just hoping that John isn't learning it for the wrong reason.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
John absorbs knowledge like a sponge, and he's very excitable when he gets to learn new things. However, I'd like to believe that's not the only reason he learned ASL, and that he genuinely likes to connect with my brother. I think it was in response to a comment being like, oh, yeah, whatever. Being negative. A lot of comments from OP. A lot of comments. But you know what?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah. Since our first episode. So you tagged me in that story. So to give you guys like a little lore, the first episode we ever recorded was January 27th of 2021. Yesterday was January 27th, but we've had a leap year in between. So we're recording basically four years to the day. It's the 28th right now. And then the first episode dropped February 10th.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Like jumping to the negative versus being hopeful and like looking at it from a positive?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It's so funny. It's like it's you know, that saying I always say here where it's like if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. But these people are being like, well, it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck. But God damn it, that's a dog. That's what they're doing. Oh, he's so kind. He's so nice. He's considerate. He's learning ASL to connect with my brother.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
You know what? He actually sounds like an axe murderer. You should break up. I know. Where's the logic?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Update. Update, baby. Another one of this week's partners is Rocket Money. I am cutting back. Cutting back on unnecessary spending and prioritizing financial wellness this year. And thanks to Rocket Money, I found out I was paying for the same streaming service twice. So if you want to focus on financial wellness this year, Rocket Money.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I'm sure you guys have seen those videos about calling your phone provider or TV provider and asking for retention offers to save money, which is so smart. But if you have Rocket Money, they do that for you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I love their dashboard. I love how easy it is to see where you're really spending your money or you can get alerts if your bills increase in price. And they really do let you know if you're going close to going over your budget. No more ordering food for me. So if you're ready to try for yourself, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Go to rocketmoney.com slash THT today. That's rocketmoney.com slash THT. rocketmoney.com slash THT. Link is also in the description. I'm just going to hop right in. Update, baby. First off, I want to thank everyone who gave their insight in my original post. As I said, I'm very new to relationships, so reading insights other than my inner circles was very eye-opening.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
To begin, many Redditors said that my high school friends are conniving, untrustworthy, and ableist people who never bothered learning ASL despite knowing me for a long time. I take accountability for this. I'm not saying they're blameless, but it's not entirely their fault. For some context, our family moved to the area when I was a senior in high school due to my dad's job.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
The friend group, two guys and two girls before I joined, was already tight when I came in. They then took me in after we got grouped together for a school project, and they've been with me since. We've been friends for about four years now. They're not exactly saints, but they helped me survive my senior year in one piece.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
They are fun to hang out with, and they were the support I needed when I was struggling. Also, during that time, my brother was having an especially hard time adjusting because of his disability, so my friends never really saw Trev a lot. To be clear, I was never ashamed of him.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
And there's not a February 10th like on a Thursday this year. So this will actually be the four-year mark episode. Yay! That's so cool.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It's just that whenever my friends came over, he either locked himself in his room or was in a different area with his tutor and never really interacted with us. Whenever he does come out, he's really shy and awkward, so my friends mostly just get glimpses of him.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
By the time Trev became more comfortable in our area and found his own circle, my friends and I had already graduated from high school and don't really hang out regularly anymore. They're friendly and polite with Trev, but then again, they never interacted as much to the point of them actually needing to learn ASL for him. Now on to the update.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Last week, my friend group had our year-ender party, and I decided to bring John along to meet the rest of my friends. My other friend in the group also brought his girlfriend, so this wasn't really weird. Others have done so in the past as well. I've commented in the previous post that John had only met my closest guy friend. I'll call him Mike, 21 male.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
So I wanted the rest of them to form their own opinions of John after they've met him. Initially, there was some tension and awkwardness from my friend group towards John. They were a bit cold, and they were throwing some harsh remarks towards him. Eventually, though, they all warmed up to him, and they were actually pleasantly surprised by his personality.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
We all got along well, and we all even had fun in our games. However, I could tell that there was still awkward tension coming from Mike towards John and the rest of the group. He was throwing meaner jokes more than usual, and he's kind of isolating himself from the activities.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
The day after the party, I had lunch with my closest girlfriend, Sophie, 21 female, to clear the air because I could tell that they also sensed something was off. A lot of Redditors speculated that Mike had a crush on me and was jealous of my relationship with John. Turns out, you are all 10,000% correct. But it's a lot more complicated than that.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Apparently, Mike has had a crush on me since our senior year high school. However, he's known in our school as a notorious ladies' man and had a new girl with him almost every month. This got exponentially worse during college. He had different hookups almost every night, and he even had a pregnancy scare with a girl last year.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
I knew about all of this because he bragged about sleeping around every time we meet up. Is this Barney? Simpson? What I didn't know was that the entire time, Mike has been making up fake stories about me and him. Barney. It's Barney's...
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Yeah, right now, me too. What the fuck, Lauren? And I'm like, this is literally him. Oh my God, I just watched the episode where he slept with girl number 200. Insane. Oh my God. And we just had episode 200. Wow. Sophie told me that apparently Mike and I had a pact that if we were still both single when we were 30, we'd marry each other. Mike is crazy.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
I'm just going to say that right now before I read anything else. Mike is fucking nuts. Also, he told our friend group that we hooked up after graduation and that he took my virginity then. So he's my, quote, special person. Whatever that means. He's also told them that we'd been secretly hooking up consistently throughout college. What a fuck. Freak.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
For context, Mike and I go to different universities that are just about 30 minutes apart. Lastly, Mike told them that I said I'm in love with him. He told our friends not to tell me anything so I don't get embarrassed or upset since I have this image of being somewhat of a prude. I would cut that guy out so quick.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Mike also told our friend group that when he met John, he thought that John is a total jerk who has also been manipulating me and taking advantage of my innocence and naivety. He said that John had been forcing himself into my family and is driving a wedge between me and my friends. Oh, my God. Wow. For the record, none of what Mike said was true. Yeah, clearly. Like, what a crazy person.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
There was no pact, we never hooked up, and I have NEVER, all caps, been in love with him. After that, Sophie and I asked the rest of our friend group, except Mike, to jump on a FaceTime call with us. They all shared different versions of what Mike told them. There was a lot more. Uh, yeah. That is... that's scary behavior.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Sophie suggested that maybe we could have an intervention for Mike first, but I just said that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. The rest of the friend group agreed, so we're essentially cutting him off. Sophie said she would still talk to him just to inform him of everything that happened, but I really just wanted to distance myself from him. Now it's been a week of being Mike-free.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Sophie said that when she and our other guy friend talked to Mike, he became extremely defensive, confrontational, and aggressive. He wasn't physically violent, but he called them names, attacked their characters, and made such awful statements about everything in our friend group that I won't include here anymore. It looks like cutting him off was completely the right call.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
anything that you've done like oh no if a guy lies about doing something physical with another girl that is my enemy it's so disgusting it's something I dealt with in high school and I didn't find out until like years later but I dated a guy freshman year and he was a junior and we did hook up like I did lose my virginity to this person but you know we dated for a year and
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
and broke up and afterwards he would tell people all these stories about me like yeah it was fucking morgan upstairs when her mom was home and oh i gave her a pink sock you and i'm just like what a freak not true one i would never in high school i would never have sex with my mom in the house Lie number one. Yeah.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
And then like you go on like also we dated like you were still trying to get with me up until like I graduated high school. So why are you talking shit about me? And I found out years later from a guy friend who was on the hockey team with him. But it was like, that's not you just it sucks when people are talking about you, especially when it comes to being intimate. Oh, yeah.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
It's horrendous. Disturbing. Horrendous. And that's exactly what he did. And even said, I took her virginity, but don't say anything because she puts off like she's a prude. That's so messed up. Messed up.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Now for some more uplifting updates. After reading everyone's comments in my previous post, there was a lot, I reflected on my relationship with John and my friends. I then talked to my parents for advice since they have the best relationship I know of.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
They told me that from what they saw of John when he visited our home and how I spoke of him, it seems like he is legitimately a nice person with pure intentions. It also helps that John and I have been friends for months before we started dating, so I already knew his character even when there was less pretense of him trying to impress me. He's already impressive on his own though, lol.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I then told John about everything that happened and apologized, fully expecting him to be mad at me for doubting him and his intentions. Instead, he said he understood, because of course it was just natural for me to trust my friends and expect them to have my best interests.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
He then asked me if there was any point in our relationship when I felt uncomfortable or uneasy around him, and I categorically said no. I told him that he's my safe space and he has nothing to worry about. He then reassured me that his intentions with me are genuine, and he even said that he sees a future with me, which I reciprocated. Also, John and Trev's friendship is still going strong.
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202: 4 Years Deep..
Trev has participated in one of John's D&D sessions with his friends, and John and I both acted as translators. We were delighted to see that most of John's friends already knew ASL alphabet. Apparently, they had even included it in the lore of their D&D campaign.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
Also, Trev has been asking John some tips for working out and getting fit lately since they have the same body type, but John is more toned. One of his brothers is a fitness instructor. Also, I met John's family for the first time for their annual get-together. It was super fun. There were games and contests.
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Also, I wasn't prepared for it, but apparently, since their mom is a theater performer and their dad is a music producer, it was their family tradition to have a talent showcase. Sounds like my nightmare. That's so cute for them. They gave me a pass this time, but they told me I should prepare something impressive for next year, lol.
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John and his brothers performed Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC in full Deadpool, Wolverine, and Captain America costumes, while his sisters and their husbands did Define Gravity from Wicked. Love. Their parents did a medley from The Sound of Music. It was a total blast. I felt their family's warm welcome, and they really treated me as one of their own.
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I could see where John got his good values and looks from, though I think I need to start taking voice and dance lessons to keep up with them, lol. So that's it for this update. My relationship with John is stronger than ever, and I finally know who my true friends are. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for your time. Happy New Year to us all. Aww. Love it.
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It really wouldn't have taken off without you agreeing to come on. I literally, I pinched myself every day and I just, I'm kind of at a loss for words. I'm blown away by the support. I'm appreciative of TikTok for boosting it and getting it out there. I'm so grateful that each and every one of you listen week after week. So in honor of four years, today's episode will be 23 minutes.
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There is one last edit, though. Uh-oh. Oh, no. I just had lunch with the rest of my friend group. We all compared notes about Mike's lies. Apparently, he concocted extreme fantasies about every one of us. He has been stirring unnecessary drama for years and even caused the breakup of one of our other friends with her then-boyfriend.
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Mike also told them that apparently, I threatened to cut ties with our friend group if any of my secrets come out, which was why no one really confirmed anything with me. He also said I was having mental health issues because of it, but Mike said he's helping me out so there was no need for them to be concerned. What a crazy person.
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Through the years, I could recall Sophie and our other friends checking up on me and making sure I'm okay without really referencing anything what Mike had said. Oh my gosh. Some of their statements didn't really make sense to me at the time, but I just chalked it off to college stress. Our other guy friend also made remarks about me and Mike, but again, I just chalked it off to friendly teasing.
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Mm-hmm. Now everything is clear to everyone and we're all ready to move on from this. There's still a lot of processing to do, but at least we know the truth. Yeah. That is so scary. Wow.
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It is hard because everyone sees things from their own point of view.
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Yeah. Which is, yeah, it's tough. It's really tough. But I mean, this guy was... Clearly going above and beyond to stir the pot, break people up, lie, manipulate. He's also probably an addict, too.
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Yeah. I wonder if he was lying, though. I wonder if he's hooking up with anyone or if it was all a lie.
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Just some screws are definitely loose with, uh, with Mike there. Top comment on the update, which I just find funny. They quote OP. Then everyone agreed to kick Mike off the friend group and they go, I believe this is called a mic drop. Um, Oh, my gosh. I have happy news to report that my friend, Miss Noelle, did get back to me. Thank you, Noelle.
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So I asked, how soon did Spencer start learning sign language? They're now married. Hi. I think it was around six months into our relationship.
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It's just meant to be. Yeah. Noelle and Spencer happily married. You know, this gal and John soon to be... Did you tell her that you're reading this? I did. I'm going to have to send her the story so she can be like, I literally I just there was no lead up. I was like, hi, I have a phone a friend question. And then how long did it take for Spencer? And then she replied.
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It'll have two stories and just kidding. I've got so many good stories lined up. No idea what I'm going to title this. Feels full circle. Feels like a lot of the stories I have are like, shut the front door. Like, what? Stop talking already. Like, oh my God. Like, they're very original chaos. Like, it's kind of getting back to our roots of original chaos. And it's going to be a good one.
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And she recently had a little baby. And I just asked, like, have you started teaching her sign language already? And the answer is also yes. Yeah. A lot of people are doing that now, which is so smart. It's amazing. Babies actually can learn sign language faster than they can begin to speak. Yeah.
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So if you watch videos of babies who get signed from the jump, there's like a one-year-old fully fucking talking in sentences versus like... So cool. Okay, maybe not one, but like, you know what I mean? Like it's a little thing and it's just like babbling away. Yeah.
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I want sips. Dude, I had that experience with a kid like recently. I think it was my little nephew Emmett. And he gets so pissed. Kids get mad when they can't express themselves. Yeah, it's frustrating. And it is frustrating. He's saying like something and I'm like, chips, sips, dips, mitts. Like I have no idea. And he just rolls his little eyes at me like, ugh. Oh my gosh.
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I couldn't say pancakes. I said pan-pakes. Aw. Pan-pakes. Can I get some pan-pakes? That's cute. I couldn't say tongue for the longest time. Sounds like a diaper brand. Pan-pakes? Yeah. And whenever I would say tongue, people would make fun of me. They're so mean, especially on the bus. They'd be like, Morgan, say tongue. And I'd be like, tongue-a. Tongue-a.
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I know. Okay, moving along. This next ad could be triggering for those with EDs. Another one of this week's partners is Roe. There are quite a few health-related reasons to try a GLP-1, and if you want the fastest-working GLP-1 for half the list price, Roe's gotcha.
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And something that's nice is that you can sign up from the comfort of your own home. That means no in-person waiting rooms, doctor's appointments, commutes to the doctors, which can be really challenging. So join over 385,000 people who have already chosen Rho to access GLP-1s. Go to ro.co.th to see if you qualify. That's ro.co.th.
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Go to ro.co.safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. Half the list price when compared to auto-injector pens and when paying in cash without applying insurance or savings cards. Okay, this next one, coming from Relationship Advice, a month old.
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It is titled, I, 26 male, lost the trust of my fiancee, 25 female, after she confessed something really shocking to me in bed. How do I move forward from this? So it's the morning hours where I'm from. Woke up to some quality time, sex, with my fiancé before we start our day.
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After everything, we had come to an end, we laid down cuddling, and one thing led to another, and she was telling me something along the lines of, if I ever left her, she would make sure the other woman had to work really hard to keep me. Parentheses, something along the lines of breaking my manhood?
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which was unusual and funny, but I guess when the sex is that good, you tend to get a little crazy. So I don't know how the conversation came up, but she then said, I have a confession to make. And I'm just like, okay, while I had a smile on my face. That's when she said, and I quote, we had a fight, non-physical.
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It was to the point that I was so frustrated that when I went to make you dinner, I snuck something into your tea that makes you sleep. And I was watching you fight that sleep. Your eyes were so red. And when you did actually go to sleep, I sat down and watched you as I contemplated what to do about us. And so many thoughts were going through my mind while I watched you sleep for like a few hours.
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And eventually I just got tired and went to bed. End quote. Wow. No. Yeah. We haven't spoken for an entire day after that confession, even after she's made several attempts to talk. I'm afraid to even go to my friends, knowing they'll just laugh and say it's probably nothing, bro, and tell me to relax. Please help. Run. Holy shit. I can't believe she confessed that.
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Well, I can't believe she confessed. First, I can't believe she did it. But to just like, yeah, oh my God, we just fucked and we're laying there and that like post sex, like hi, you know, like that happy feel good. You just feel cuddly, lovey. Oh yeah, this one time I put something in your tea and then I watched you fight the tiredness.
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Like, was it a hard prescription drug or something you can get medicinally, like some ashwagandha?
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Well, I think to your point, though, if she went to like a dealer like or something got like hard meds, was there premeditation in this? That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I want to know how scared he should be. Yeah. Like she planned this out. And like she's like, next time he pisses me off, I'm going to drug his ass. Right. Shuts up. Right.
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Or was this like, I've got a little extra, you know, of my sleeping pill.
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Yeah. Yeah. Bad. This is bad. I want to be very clear. Bad. Bad. I would say the later. It feels like that. He definitely needs to call this off. This can be fiancé no more. I mean, for him to be like, I am scared to sleep with her and I don't want to eat from whatever she makes.
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But also even the comment before the confession, like if he ever left her, she would make sure the other women had to work really hard to keep me. Something along the lines of breaking my manhood. Oh, my God. Yeah. I honestly forgot about that part in the mess. So she's threatening to like break his dick.
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It's definitely giving Gone Girl. Right? That cool girl that's like, ooh, the veil is slipping a little bit.
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Yeah. And I think this is just the beginning. I think she's testing the waters. And I think there's a lot more deep, dark, bad shit buried underneath. Very scary. He's got to run.
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move on let's get some updates and comments i want to hear what's going on top comment how do i move forward from this they like quote op by moving on from her next person down also go straight to a hospital and get tested for drugs in your system get evidence to prosecute and get a restraining order Mm-hmm. Next comment down, though. Sounds like it was a confession from a while back.
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He still should try, but doubtful anything would come up. Next comment. Who's to say she isn't slowly poisoning him? And on that note, let's go check OP's account. Because this is a month old. Mm-hmm. So we only have two comments from OP, both of which were from a month ago. First comment. So as for an update... We broke up, and she went back to her parents.
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If she does come anywhere close to me, I will be reporting her and filing for a restraining order. It's just amazing that strangers could be of more help than the people you actually know and supposedly trust. Stay blessed, y'all.
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It's a really good analogy. Yeah. I've never heard that one before. I really like that. And it's so true. Like you need that bird's eye view from the balcony to really get the full picture.
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I really like that one. Yeah, that's good. I also think it's really good he did come to Reddit because I like glance at his age again to 26 male. And I could very easily see a lot of his guy friends being like, dude, whatever. Like, she's probably just kidding. She's hot. Shut up. Yeah. Sex was good. Exactly.
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No, no. We know guys aren't dumb. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Let me look at comments from OP. So we do get a little insight from OP's comments. There are a lot of comments. Also, scrolling down on the post, I've refreshed it now just to see if there's anything new. We do have some edits. So what order of events would you like me to get into? Do you want me to do the edits?
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Do you want me to go to top comment first and then go back to the edits and then dive deeper into her comments in case we're missing anything? I think we start with the top comment now, knowing there's a lot more to unpack here. Yes. So top comment, I'm sorry for your loss and for hers and for your child who will grow up without its father.
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Her son was old enough to make his own life choices without his mom's permission. However, it is kind of messy to secretly date your boss's child. I would tell her that you lied to her about not knowing who the baby's father was because you were scared about her reaction, and you need to apologize for that.
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Tell her that you would be glad to give her some space and time to process and that you're hoping that she will eventually be excited to be a grandmother, even though it's a lot to process right now. Someone comments after that, I don't know why there is an expectation that the boss will be mad. One would think she'd be ecstatic.
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Yeah, and that's what someone else says after. I would be mad if someone that I had given a job and considered a best friend, in spite of a substantial age gap, spent over a year dating my child in secret. And then he tragically died in an accident, told me that, hey, by the way, I'm pregnant with your child's only baby.
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She may be happy eventually to know that some part of her baby boy is still out in the world, and she may forgive OP and keep her on staff and have a good friend-grandparent relationship with her and the baby, but in the short term, there's been a lot of deception.
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Well, and I think it's hard because even in the title, she says boss slash best friend slash best friend. Boss comes first. Well, I mean, I think that's kind of telling semantics. But really, I feel like it's kind of telling because if I can, I don't know, for me, I'd be like my best friend slash boss because friendship comes first and foremost versus a job.
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But that's my, that's the way I'm kind of, and maybe that's like a subconscious thing and that's a tomato-tomato type of error or analysis. Yeah. But I think it's kind of like they have only known each other two years. Mm-hmm. Boss, first and foremost, then they became friends. Yeah. Yeah.
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So I also think it's interesting where and I think a lot of people picked up on it in those comments where it's like I didn't get permission to date her son. Well, technically, you're both adults. And let's just say you would have asked her for permission and she would have said no. Would you guys have dated anyways?
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No, you would be like, that's shady, Lauren. You'd be like, what the heck? I honestly, I think I'd be more surprised, first and foremost. I'd be like, how did you both find the time? Yeah.
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Yeah. And it has been nine months. Like, hey, guys, after maybe month number four or five, you realize it's kind of serious. Yeah. Time to tell her. Yeah. And it is interesting that they never did. I wonder why. Let's get into OP's edits. Okay. Edit, I forgot to clear things up. She knows I'm pregnant. She just doesn't know who the father is. These comments really aren't super helpful.
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If I could trade my life for his, I would. I'm only willing to live on for my baby now, but I have nothing else for me. Whoa. That's not okay. What are the comments saying to her? They must have been shifted since. Like, I mean, that edit probably came right after she posted.
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Or maybe she just read the worst one. That's what stuck with her. I don't know. I mean... I scrolling down, I see some comments she responded to. Someone goes, wow, this is a heck of a situation. And I'm sorry for your loss. Honestly, I'm not sure what the root problem was for her. She clearly respected and cared for both her child and you.
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Logically, I would think that she would be relieved and happy to have a grandchild from her recently lost son. But I don't know all the details here. And OP goes, Okay, that is some good context. It helps a little bit, I think. Yeah. And so someone else goes, do you know why she didn't want the two of you together? Outside of her resistance, this seems like a good situation initially.
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That was great. Well, let's see. What story can I start off with that kind of you teed me up for? Because I got tabs on tabs. This guy. It could, you know, in some people's world be considered having an attitude. In others, he's a bit unhinged. Chaotic. Original chaos. We're back at it. So here we go. This is coming from AITAH. It is 23 hours old.
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And OP goes, she didn't actually say that ever. I just thought he was off limits since I'm her best friend and that's her son. So I think she's just, like, catastrophizing. And granted, any of us probably would in that situation, but... Because it's like, you haven't told her you've been lying. And like you said, lying, like even just like, even though there's like a...
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Oh, man, you're funny. You're funny, girl, Lauren. Really weird. I know. Well, I have like a little check in for us to do today. Like say one really weird thing or bad thing and then say a positive thing.
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a little sliver of maybe a rainbow right in this whole shit storm of catastrophe and just tragedy but it also was like well you still were lying to me both of you were lying like even like that and actually like even if it wasn't your brother that I was like oh I've been dating even if I was just like I've been dating someone for almost a year and I didn't tell you I would be hurt yeah yeah
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I just want someone to date my brother. I'm just kidding. My brother has a new girlfriend, apparently. I haven't... Not apparently. He's got a new girlfriend. But I'm like... I just want him to date my friend. Why? I did not know this about you. I don't know. I just think it'd be so fun. That's hilarious. Edit number two. I talked with her last night after we had dinner.
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I apologized for hiding it from her and told her I didn't want any money or anything from her. I just wanted her to be able to enjoy her time with her grandchild. I was honest with her on how our relationship started and how much I loved her son.
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She had her doubts about it and told me she knew something was up between us two, but she didn't say anything because she wasn't sure and didn't want to make assumptions. She was very upset at first and told me I should have never hid things from her and that she would have accepted us together if she knew my intentions were clean and I wouldn't hurt her son.
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I showed her pictures of us together, places we went, our messages, and she broke down crying. She looked very upset and I genuinely thought she was going to hit me because it looked like she was about to slap me. She asked me to leave and give her some space. I went home and she called me at midnight and asked if I could come back and spend some time with her.
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We finished talking and I offered her to take a DNA test so she could see it's her grandchild. She believed me on what I said, but she told me I should never have hid things from her because now she has regrets about not being able to support us since the beginning. She kept asking to hold my stomach and feel her grandchild, and she told me she would be there for the baby.
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I told her I would leave work and leave her alone if she didn't want to see me anymore, but she told me no, to stay and keep on moving forward how we were before. I apologized a dozen times, and she told me she was happy that she still at least has a part of her son in me. She's been very emotional and she's just been wanting to feel her grandchild and she has been nice to me.
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I just assured her I treated her son with respect and that I was very loving with him. Hopefully, she is still accepting of the whole situation in the long run. It was really hard to read with my eyes watering because it blurs everything.
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It's so sad. I think there's a lot there too. And I, I think now knowing like he's gone and her just being like, I wish you would have told me so I could have supported you from the beginning. It's like she also missed out on nine months of them dating and like having dinners with the three of them and being excited about their relationship. And.
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Titled, Emma the asshole for embarrassing my fiance at dinner after he joked about my upbringing. Hi Reddit, I'm Andrea, 28 female. I'm originally from Colombia, but have been living in the US for about 10 years. My fiance, David, 30 male, and I have been together for three years, engaged for six months, and until now, I thought we were on the same page about respecting each other's background.
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I think it's always like one of those things like this has come up a lot on Father Knows recently. But it's one of those things where it's like we should all always live our truth. Yeah. Be who you want to be. Love who you want to love. And if the people in your life are going to accept that and be worthy of you and your love and your good energy and your time, then yay. And if they're not. Yeah.
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Oh, well. But you're being happy. You're being your truest self. You're finding the person you're going to love the most. It really is only win-win. And is it going to be hard? Probably if they don't react well. But in the long run... Isn't it better to be you and who you want to be and love who you want to love versus a shell of yourself?
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Live your truth. I completely agree. I just think you you have to be yourself. And who knows? You know, we only as of right now, we only have one life. And like, maybe you believe in reincarnation. But what if you get reincarnated as like a fucking bat? That could be great.
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If you take my fucking idea, Disney... We're done. I won't go to Disneyland anymore. I won't be a Disney adult. Don't take my idea. She's lying. I'll fucking crush you. She will never not go to Disneyland.
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I know. How does this keep happening? I know. And I think we're going to run it back. Disney again. It was a good time. Love it. So there are some really, if you guys want to do anything good today, please go and like, I don't know, message this OP. People were being horrendous in the comments. Really? Horrendous. Horrendous. I don't know if this was a bad day. What was it posted on?
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Relationship advice. That's weird. People were accusing her of multiple comments. I'm seeing like multiple. At least five just in this little thing. People were accusing her of being a gold digger, getting pregnant on purpose. Crazy shit. I don't care about money like that. I don't want anything from her. I don't want any child support from her. Next comment. I have money saved.
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I made some investments. Next comment. I'm not after her money. I don't want money. I just wanted more time with her son. I never once asked him for any money and we were planning on moving into an apartment before our baby was born. People downvoted that four times.
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Um, someone also like was implying that she wanted to be a single mom. And she replies, who would want to be a single mom? I didn't choose to break up with him or leave him. He literally lost his life. That is what's wrong with people. Why are they saying this stuff? People were being crazy, being like, what happened? How did he die? Does she talk about that at all?
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For context, I grew up in a small town in Colombia, and while we didn't have much money, my parents worked tirelessly to provide for my siblings and me. I'm incredibly proud of where I came from. It shaped me into the strong, resourceful person I am today. Recently, David and I went out to dinner with his friends, a group of mostly professionals in their late 20s, early 30s.
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She does because she felt the need to reply back. How did he pass? I don't know if you want to share that or not. I don't know if anyone needs a trigger warning for like a traumatic accident, roadway accident. Skip ahead. Click, click, click. Maybe three, four times. He crashed his motorcycle and then got hit by a car on the highway. No. That's all the details I'm giving.
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I don't like thinking about it. Oh. My God. But people, people go on and on about money. And it's like, all she goes is I want her emotional support, not financial. So if you guys want to take any post and like do something and run with it today, I will have all of the links in the description. Go and leave a comment. Send OP a message. Account is still there.
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Throw R-A, lonely W. And just spread some positivity today. Check in with your friends. Tell your loved ones you love them. I'm, as you know, rewatching How I Met Your Mother. And I rewatched the episode where Marshall loses his dad. You might not be there yet. Oh, you were rewatching as well.
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Yeah. So I watched that episode recently and... Any mentions of like losing your dad really fucked me up. So like, I know I'm getting my period. I'm emotional already. And then that topic. And it was a really hard episode for me to watch. I was like, you know, when you cry and you're like, oh, and it's like hard crying. It's not just tears watering at a puppy commercial. Oh, I know. I was sobbing.
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I know exactly what you're talking about. And it was like this whole conversation of like someone's last words. could be so big and marshall thought his dad's last words were crocodile dundee three it's real good son and he slowly realizes over the course of the episode that no those weren't his last words it was actually hey the kims they might have an umbrella
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And then he finds out that he has a pocket dial and his dad ends up like leaving him this like five minute long pocket dial. And towards the last, you know, 30 seconds of the call, he goes, Marshall, I must have pocket dialed you.
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I don't need this again, universe. But I just think it's like it's so important to check in with your people. You know, talk to your people. How you doing health wise? You're shitting regular. Get your colonoscopy. You got a lump mammogram time. You sad. Tell me about it. Like check in with your people. Tell them you love them.
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These are people I've met a handful of times, and while they've always been polite, I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background. I usually brush it off, but this dinner was different. During the meal, one of David's friends was sharing a story about their recent trip to Europe, talking about authentic experiences and local food.
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Yeah, of course. It wouldn't be possible without you. I don't know about that, but I appreciate that sentiment. It wouldn't. It really wouldn't. I begged. I begged for a long time. I'm like, just do it with me.
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It's really special, so... It really is. But no, I wouldn't... I don't know if I never would have had someone commit to recording the first episode with me four years ago. You would have made, like, Justin or something. I... You know, you wonder... But you just don't know. You just don't know. Yeah, that's true. Okay, I'll take that. Thank you. You just don't know. Yeah.
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So thank you for hopping on this wild journey with me, making, you know, this possible. And really, thank you to all of you. Our lives are all forever changed. And what this community has done has been so special. So, so special. There's really no words for it. Happy four-year anniversary. Happy four-year anniversary, everyone. And on that note, until next time. Until next time. Bye, guys. Bye.
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Out of nowhere, David, my fiancé, chimed in with, quote, Right, babe? The table erupted in laughter. I was stunned. Not only was his comment wildly inaccurate and frankly ignorant, but it was also deeply humiliating. I could feel everyone's eyes on me waiting for my reaction. I calmly smiled and said, actually, David, I grew up in a small town, not the jungle.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I'll go first because I've been thinking of mine. And if you don't have anything, you know, you don't have to. But I'm like, this might be a fun way to start. So my... Just weird. It's not necessarily bad, but it's quite strange. Someone sent 11 Bibles in Spanish to my house. So that was kind of like a...
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
And while we didn't eat off banana leaves, we did learn how to respect people's cultures, which you seem to have missed. Ooh, got him. The table went silent. Oh, please. And that I, quote, I told him that his comment wasn't harmless. It was condescending and made me feel like I was the butt of a joke in front of people who already saw me as different.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
He's been cold ever since, accusing me of being too sensitive and saying I should have just laughed it off. I feel like I stood up for myself in a respectful way, but now I'm questioning if I should have handled it differently. So Reddit, am I the asshole for calling out my fiance at dinner?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
You embarrassed me first. Yeah, exactly. Like, what was the point of that comment? You made you.
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
singled me out you also sound a little racist i don't know i don't know how that comment was supposed to be funny like pointing it out like oh yeah she grew up in the jungle eating off banana leaves like what also you know your fiance's background likely you know it's not true so why are you why are you making her a joke right if not
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
He made it. For everyone else's benefit. Yeah. It was, let me poke fun at this person. She's an easy target. She loves me. This is my fiance, whatever. In order to look like the big funny guy for everyone else. It was totally to appease them. And the fact that OP already feels like a bit of an outsider. Mm-hmm. Like, what does she say here?
Two Hot Takes
202: 4 Years Deep..
I've sometimes felt out of place because of the subtle comments they make about my accent or my exotic background. Like, she's already feeling uncomfortable with the dynamic and maybe being the only, you know, brown or, you know, person of color there. And it's like, you literally, you just singled her out even more. Like, it's just tacky. It's like, do you even love her?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Hi, friends. Just popping in. Want to let you know we are doing a spring cleaning sale for all of our merch, including this amazing sweatshirt with the tour logo that we did. It doesn't have any dates or cities on the back, so anyone can get it. But everything is on sale. Some of the stuff is up to 40% off. And what better time to get it when it's a deal? So head on over.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that's what it's about. And that's coming from such like a secure place. Like that's such a like, I know what I want. I'm happy. I don't care what anyone else thinks. Yeah. And I love that. And I, myself, I'm like, okay, I need to embrace that more in, like, some areas of my life. And I do agree because I'm like, you see, cars.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I was like, wait, she's a lawyer and now she's podcasting and she was The Bachelorette? Like, what hasn't this woman done?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I think cars are another one of those things that, like, you can really be like, that's your personality. Clearly, it's not mine, but, like, good for you. Like, would I drive an orange Kia Soul? No. No. Am I happy that someone else can afford that? I'm like, good for them. But it's not my first choice on a car. So I think an engagement ring is something like that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like I've had people like I went very classic. I did just. Your ring is beautiful, by the way. This is not an ugly baby comment. It's beautiful. But I went like very safe. I went like it's an oval stone, hidden halo underneath. It's kind of the ring everyone's doing right now. And I've even had people still say like, oh, that's kind of basic. And I'm like.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
okay fuck you as you should like as you like it's it's my ring like I don't care if you like it or not but in the moment I was kind of like oh because you are so excited so I'm like you're not wrong for feeling like that but like move past it as you're saying like Fuck them.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Just bitter, bitter, miserable. Yeah. OK, you want to see it? You're nervous. I'm about to be that person. I honestly, I don't think I knew what an opal was until this. I'm familiar with opal because...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I do see the shape now. It's almost... I was envisioning, too, like, this June bug or, like, a scarab. Which, like, some cultures, they're very meaningful, those little scarabs and whatever.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I am on this one. You go, girl. I like it. I'm in the boat of like to each their own. And I think hearing Stepford Wives, that's like the best way to put it. Like if everyone had this round oval engagement ring, like I got like, where's the uniqueness? Where's the beauty? If it's all the same and just it's the same.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It becomes oatmeal. If you're if everyone has the same, it's just like it's oatmeal. It's like it's meh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I love a pivot. I know, right? I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of a pivot. And it's like, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and stick with something and do this. And, oh, it's don't rock the boat. And it's like, no, rock the boat.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Send him Rachel's way. Oh my gosh. No, I agree. And I'm really excited for you. Congratulations on your engagement. And this is all good because there's so many people that write into Reddit and are like, my fiance got me a ring and I hate it. What do I do? And it's like, Those people feel like they can't even have conversations with someone they're supposed to marry. I can't imagine.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And explain, hey, I just want to get something a little more me. Yeah. You have a partner that fully curated a ring for you and has everything you wanted and more. It's beautiful. So let the comments roll off your back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Or the woman yourself. Yeah, herself. Yeah. Don't go rogue. Don't go rogue. Oh, there's so many rings out there. And, like, don't go rogue. Get what she's going to love or what they're going to love because it's a big thing. And, like, for a lot of people, it's the only ring they'll have. Yeah. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from Am I the Asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It is 14 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Help My Best Friend with Her Wedding Because She Didn't Make Me a Bridesmaid? I mean, you're a friend, right? So...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Are you ready? There's more? There's more. Okay. Okay. Let me shut up. My best friend, 24 female, we'll call her May, and I, 24 female, have been close since middle school. We talked about being in each other's weddings. So when she got engaged last year, I assumed I would be a bridesmaid.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She recently asked me to help with the wedding planning, but when she showed me the list for her bridal party, I wasn't on the list. I asked why, and she got awkward and said that she had to make some choices. The party included her sister, her fiancé's sister, and a few newer friends she's known for only a couple of years. She wanted a small party. I didn't make it a big deal, though.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I congratulated her and figured I'd still be a guest. But then she started asking me for a lot of help. Things like dress shopping, DIY decorations, venue hunting, making party favors, etc., etc. I finally told her, quote, Hey, I love you, but I feel weird doing all of this when I'm not even a bridesmaid. She got angry and said she thought I'd still want to be involved because we're best friends.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I told her I'd still be at the wedding, but I wasn't going to do all this extra work when she didn't even consider me close enough to be at her bridal party. Now, she and some of our mutual friends are giving me the cold shoulder, saying I'm being petty and making the wedding about me. but I'm not going to be doing bridesmaid level work if I'm not one. Am I the asshole? No.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't think so at all. No, she's going to enlist her as a wedding planner for free. When you're a bridesmaid, some of those things like planning the bachelorette and doing DIY decorations, like that comes with the territory. But also even like for a bride to expect that of a bridesmaid, I'm like, I think that's kind of rude too. Are you having bridesmaids? I am, but very untraditional.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like they're not standing up there with us. I'm not making them do shit. Like they can pick their own dress. I just set a color and I'm so chill. Yeah. Like you, you, you are just like talking before. I just want to get married. I'm like, whatever else happens at this point should be. It is what it is. I thought I wanted a fucking Ferris wheel. I wanted like crazy. I love this for you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Well, until I found out the price of the Ferris wheel. And I was like, I don't want a Ferris wheel. Fuck that. The weddings are a lot, but I feel like she was definitely being taken advantage of. She is. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I love that. What's something you're doing right now that you were a little scared of before you started?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
We talked about this in Austin. We talked about it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Is that the political dinner? Yes. Okay, I saw the TikTok clip and I'm like... How relatable is that? Yes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I am so with you. The point you said, too, where you're like her calling her her best friend. Like, I think that's what's the most confusing part about this for me, even when confronted. And like, hey, I love you, but like, I don't feel like I, you know, I'm not comfortable doing all of this because I'm not a bridesmaid.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And for her to reply back then and say, oh, well, I thought you would because you're my best friend. Yeah. That's confusing because there's clearly no misunderstanding of like, that's my best friend, but I'm not hers. She's saying you're my best friend. Right. But why are you not a part of the wedding? Even like in some way, like, hey, can you be my attendant or hey, can you do this?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it's so odd to me because how many people would you have asked at the time?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I think like if you do have that, still ask the people you want, but then just don't have them up there with you. And that's what kind of we're doing. Like his my fiance's cousin, who's like a sister to him, is like going to be in a dress like that matches my bridesmaids. So she's a bridesmaid. But like we're not having them stand up there. So it doesn't matter if we're mismatched or uneven.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I just like. It's just sad. And I feel sad for her. Yeah. And I don't think not the asshole for backing out. We do have a couple comments and they might provide a little bit more context. So we'll see if it if it changes anything for us. But I'm I'm in the boat of not the asshole. Not an asshole. No.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it's weird that everyone else is like now like cold shouldering her and like other people are getting involved. And it's like, why are you fighting the fight for her? Why don't you just do what I was doing? You know why?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I think if you express that, then it'll come off in a different way. For sure. And I will say, too, we've kind of hinted at it like it's kind of a gift sometimes to not be a bridesmaid. Yeah. Like to be able to just relax, not wake up early to get your hair and makeup done. Not. Yes. Oh, my God. It's just you get to be Zen. Exactly. Have fun. No pressure.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And you can still help the bride as if you want. Yes. You know, be as involved. But like. It's so nice.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Yeah. I was a bridesmaid and my friend got married in Chicago. So I was coming from L.A. Two hour time difference. We had a rehearsal dinner bar crawl like that night. So we didn't go to bed till like two or three. Oh, wow. And then she wanted us in her hotel room at like seven in the morning. And I was tired at a time change. I didn't get my hair and makeup done until 10.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So why did I have to be there three hours early? For emotional support and to sip a mimosa.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No. It's emotional support. Exactly. No. I love you. It's all a part of your duties. I love you, but let's let Morgan sleep a little bit more. And then I'll be more fun overall. But being a bridesmaid is a job. You just said it. It's a job. It's a tough gig. It's a really tough gig. So some comments here. Not the asshole. Your gut is right here, OP.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
These are all of the hallmark tasks of a best friend and bridesmaid. If she's asking for all of this help from you and you alone, I would argue that you should be made of honor. Info. Are her bridesmaids also helping with any of this? I assumed that she was asking you alone, but for clarification, OP responds and goes, Okay. Hmm.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Link will be in the description. Otherwise, it's shop.2hottakes.com. Bye. Enjoy the episode. Okay, here we go. Okay, let's go. I'm so excited to have you. I'm happy to be here. I'm a little nervous. I know, I know.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I mean, you'd fit in with relationship advice or am I the asshole? Yeah, you will find your niche if you need it. You're not the asshole. I'm not the asshole. No, you're good. But it is really refreshing to hear, too, that I think getting over that stunk and cost fallacy and hearing firsthand, it's so relatable. So many people are in it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Yeah, and it's like, what is that word? It's like, I think there is something ingrained in us where we do try to fix people a little more, like, as women versus a traditional guy. Like, we give a lot more grace. And it is interesting because I've said a lot of times on this show, like, people aren't psychic.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You can't expect someone to know you're upset or how you're feeling unless you communicate, unless you talk about it. And I think... Women do go to their friends. We do vent. We have those close, close female relationships. So a lot of times we're telling our friends, but we're not necessarily going back to our partner and then being like, hey, you know what? I didn't like this.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And so I think a lot of times that's why you'll see guys who kind of get...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
shocked by a breakup whereas the woman it's like no this was a long time coming I've been emotionally checking out for so long and they're already done with the relationship by the time the breakup actually comes but the guy's like what what did I do like so I think a lot of that is as you said it's like it's they're not talking they're going to their friends instead and I would be interesting if that's happening here but
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Is there follow up? We only have one comment from OP. One comment. And it's someone that said, no, in fact, you were amazing in being able to smile through his dismissive speech.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I guess he thinks you're like the pit crew as he is the dazzling race car driver. I'm not sure what you could do to get him to recognize your contribution, not the asshole. And the only comment we have is this. Yeah, it was honestly really hard to keep it together in that moment. I didn't want to say anything and ruin the night, but it hurt way more than he realizes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, it's hard. It's really hard to just like... hey, I didn't like that. My feelings were hurt because like you don't want to seem silly. You don't want to seem like you're childish for getting your feelings hurt over something so small or I don't know, goofy. Yeah. But like you can communicate that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And then their response is also very, it's very telling. It's very telling. It's everything.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I know. I want so many more details. I want way more tea.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I definitely think he's too comfortable. He doesn't value her. And it's just one of those things where it'll be interesting to see how it plays out. But, I mean, definitely worth a shot telling him how you feel and hopefully shifting his mindset, hopefully getting an apology. When she's not emotional. Like, right? Take a beat. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. Tell them. It's so hard. It's so hard.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Oh, my gosh. And it's, like, it's so easy to snap, especially when you're overwhelmed or feeling bad. Like, I'm, like, feeling really guilty about it now because I'm, like, we rented, like, a digger from Home Depot this weekend. And we're doing, like, dirt work at our house. And I'm trying to, like, back up, like, our, like, truck in this trailer. And I'm, like, it's not working.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm turning the wheel. It's not going the direction. And, like, my fiance's, like, it's not working. I'm, like, you're not helping me. And I felt so bad in the moment, but he said something years ago when I was like, oh, I just like, I don't like fighting with you. And it was something he said that really shifted my brain. And it's like, it's okay to fight.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, it's actually probably good to fight because if you never fight, you're not growing. You're not... realizing how to communicate with each other when you have problems like fighting isn't necessarily bad yeah and so hopefully that's how you fight it's exactly don't fight mean like be understanding try to see the other person's side wait two things yeah is he an earth sign My boyfriend?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Mm-hmm. Fiance? God, I still do that. He is August 20th, so he's a Leo, but he's not a... He's a Leo Virgo. He's cussed. He's... Well, and he was born early, so he's not really... He doesn't really give Leo. He's Virgo.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
somebody to come I love that I wish I had more of that in me well I do have regrets like DIY on the dirt sure but then we're putting in a fence and you gotta dig down like yeah you do two feet and like level the fence so your fence posts aren't up and down and I've done a fence before we're hitting roots we're like getting stuck in all of these like things and I'm like I did not call before I dug so now I'm like nervous I'm gonna hit a thing but yeah Texas you've put up a fence I my
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Dude, I'm over it. Well, I am too now. I'm over it. We got an auger. I was like, oh, we're going to get our own auger. Yeah. Nope. I'm like, I should have hired this out. What was I thinking? I'm like two days of work. I respect it. Thank you. I'm impressed. I really am impressed. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I've only got five fence posts in after two days, so I'm feeling like I don't have a lot to show for all my hard work, but it'll come together and my horses will thank me eventually. But, yeah, I'm going to need an update on this one, OP, if you're out there. I want to see how he does. Also, is it normal to throw a party for yourself after a promotion? Did he throw it or did they throw it for him?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, this first one, it's coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, titled, My boyfriend cheated on me with his ex for closure. Now he's sure that he wants me. I don't know if I can forgive him. So here's the situation. My boyfriend, 26 male, cheated on me, 23 female, with his ex while we were in a long-distance relationship for four months.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You're down. Let's go. Okay, moving along. Okay. As we know, you're a dog mom.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Would you ever eat out of your dog's bowl? Eat what? Food. Like their food or my food? Your food out of their bowl. Would you ever share a dish? Is it clean? It could have been in the dishwasher, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, if it's clean, why not? Okay. This next one's going to be good for them. This is coming from Am I the Asshole? It is five days old. Titled, Am I the Asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Wife put my food in the dog bowl. Okay, and shows me my portion. It was in our dog's bowl. I didn't even notice at first, but when I did, I asked, is that the dog's bowl? She said yes and that it had been in the dishwasher. I was taken aback and stood in the kitchen for a bit. She then offered her own bowl of stew to eat, but she had already eaten from it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I feel as though it wouldn't have been hard to quickly wash a bowl that we had as opposed to giving me the one that our dog eats from. He eats his own feces and is a dog. She was upset when I told her I wasn't going to eat it. She locked herself in the bedroom for hours after as well, as if I was the monster for saying I didn't want to eat out of the dog's bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After, she came out and argued that the dishwasher cleans things at 160 degrees Fahrenheit and it would be okay. I not only disagree with that rationale, but have been germ-averse since I was young, and she knows that. Who wants to come home to food in their dog's bowl anyways? We have so many others that we only use once. I was so confused, and then more so when she acted like I was the bad guy.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm only making this post because she said that opinions would likely be split if I did. Who would think that was okay? How am I the asshole for not wanting to eat from a dog's bowl? Okay. He's not the asshole. Not the asshole.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
What do you think about the fact that she went and locked herself in a room for a couple hours?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
His ex was someone he was in a very serious four-year relationship with, but they broke up two years ago. When I confronted him, he told me he met her because he never got closure and wanted to resolve past issues. According to him, he did it for us so that he could fully commit to me without regrets or doubts about what his life would have been like with her.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Did you run the load with only the dog bowl in it? Like, are there not other bowls in there? Like, why are you giving me this bowl? Like, what about a mixing bowl? What about any other thing that could hold this stew? Why am I getting the dog's bowl? And I think you're hitting it on the head. It's pointed. There's some hidden message here about why you're eating out of the dog bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I would have a problem with it. Like, I don't know why. And I think it's just like obviously a mental thing. But I wouldn't want to eat out of a dog bowl. I wouldn't want to.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
To be clear, I would not want to. No, I wouldn't either. I'm like, there's little scratches in there. And like, what if there's some bacteria still left in the scratch? There probably is. I'm like, even a cutting board. Sometimes cutting boards are like the grossest thing in your kitchen. Yeah, that's true. I just. That's true. I got food poisoning.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I didn't even know you could get it from carrots. Yeah. I thought I bought this like fancy bag of like heirloom mixed colored carrots and it was in like a bag and they were, I don't know. I thought they were washed. Like they looked so good. I thought they were washed. Yeah. So me and my fiance ate, we ate the same exact thing. That's the only thing I ate that was different.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
One unwashed carrot. I know. It's scary out here. It is. Do you grow your own food?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Have some wine. It'll be good. Teach me a thing or two. Where do you think the opinions on this one are going to fall? The woman's the asshole. We have a lot, a lot of you're the assholes. The woman? Him. How? So someone goes, dude, I just realized she wasn't mad because you didn't want to eat out of the dog's human bowl. She was mad because you were refusing the meal she made entirely.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You refused one dish because you refused to accept that it was properly sanitized. And then you refused the other, her dish, because you won't swap germs with your wife. You're the asshole. Okay. Guys, it was stew.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But while having this deep closure conversation, she kissed him. And they ended up sleeping together. He says he felt horrible afterwards, like he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror because everything he stood for was shattered in that moment. Now, he swears he's 100% sure he wants me and wants to love me more than anything. He's blocked her and says she's dead to him.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Top comment, though, which maybe is the voice of reason. No assholes here. Controversial take, apparently. But the fact she offered to switch shows she wasn't sending you a message or intentionally treating you disgustingly. She just didn't get it. Now she knows. Do I find it odd that she served your food in the dog bowl? Yes. Do I find it odd you didn't switch when she offered? Yes.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Will I call either of you an asshole for it? Nope. Just talk it through and move on. I think that she offered to switch because she knew he wouldn't. Oh, my jaw just dropped, you guys. So I'm looking at the comments here. OP? OP's wife. Comments on the post!
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That a girl. That's the energy I like. What did she say? Oh my gosh. OP's wife here. To clarify something hotly debated in the comments, this is a human bowl. Hastily bought because when we moved, I realized we'd left our pet dishes. Last weekend, we were able to bring over a lot more of our stuff, including the original dog bowl, the classic shiny silver kind.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I thought, great, now we have two extra human bowls. I feel like a lot of our dishes are still missing after the move, so I was happy to have these. The dog ate and drank out of it for maybe two weeks, which I get is gross. I washed them both by hand before putting them in the dishwasher. In my mind, this made them clean.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After making the stew, we had one clean bowl in the cabinet and one that had just finished in the dishwasher, the dog bowl. I gave my husband the dog bowl because after dishing out the stew, that bowl had received the largest portion. and he expressed that he was hungry.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
After he questioned me about the dog bowl, I realized that yes, he may object to eating out of it, so I offered him the bowl that was in the cabinet. I had eaten one bite. I know he struggles with eating after people, but he has regularly drank or eaten after me, so I thought it would be fine. On our first date seven years ago, he offered me a sip of his beer because it was unique.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Before the move, we lived near a craft brewery and would often swap sips of different beers there. For these reasons, I thought he was okay with eating and drinking after me. She is doing like there's still more, but like the thoughtfulness here. You don't believe her? Don't believe her at all. Oh, now I'm like, he's being dramatic. I think she's manipulative.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Oh, see, when I first read this, I'm like, oh, that's silver, that classic stainless steel silver dog bowl. Like, I wouldn't want to eat out of that, but like,
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, let's see what else. Oh my gosh. She's manipulative. We work roughly the same amount of hours, but I get off work about two hours earlier than him and had spent those two hours making the stew so it was ready the moment he got home. I was hurt he refused to eat it, even after I offered to eat from the dog bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I didn't feel like he approached the conversation very kindly and felt like my efforts were ignored. To address one commenter, no, this is not a fetish thing, lol, I genuinely felt like the bowl was clean and was not trying to insult my husband. Unrelated, but I'm flabbergasted by my husband's claim in the comments that he does dishes 65% of the time. 65 is a really specific number.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I definitely didn't catch that percentage. It was in a comment throughout the post to someone, but OP has since deleted his account. So I can't go look and see if there's any comments from OP because OP felt a little embarrassed, I think, after wifey came in.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And here's the thing. A part of me believes him. I don't think he would ever do it again. But I trusted him with everything. And he still did this, knowing full well what it would do to me. That boundary has been crossed. And no matter how much he regrets it, it can't be undone. The worst part is that I can't stop picturing it. The images just appear in my head, and it physically hurts.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She did post a link for the bowl. See, she's doing too much. It's like one of those bowls that you would get in college, like just a plastic bowl. It literally cost... It looks like a dog bowl. ...50 cents. And it being plastic... I'm back on the boat of, like, it's gross, even though it is a human bowl, because it's like a plastic cutting board.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, you cut and you create these scratches and these knife marks and whatever, and bacteria can live in there. Like, this is a dog. Dogs' mouths are really dirty. That's why, like, if you get a dog bite...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It grosses me out when people let their dogs just lick them in the mouth. So I'm back on, like, it is gross. I wouldn't want to eat out of that bowl. But then again, I'm like, but she did offer to switch. So maybe she's being a little manipulative. Maybe she's gaslighting, but... I feel like he should have taken her bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, if you're worried about, like, stew and backwash into the stew, why are you sharing beers? But, like, you're married. Y'all don't make out?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Well, now they're fighting in the comments and it's like, he doesn't do the dishes 65% of the time. It's like, Take a step back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They got to be bored. But people are really upset for her. People are like now coming to her defense. There is so many comments under under her response. People are like, you seem like a nice person and there are plenty of fish in the sea. I'll leave it at that. And guess what? That is exactly what she wanted.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You might have a good read on this. I'm very torn. But we did have a story years ago now. And it was this mom writing in being like, am I the asshole for getting my kids Nintendos? And she wrote this sob story about how she got these kids Nintendos and they didn't care. And she called them spoiled brats and stormed out and left crying.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Meanwhile, her daughter found the post, wrote in, and the daughter was like, She left us when we were little. She's super manipulative. She's a liar, narcissist, like all this like truth. And it was like, so she wrote the story making herself look like the victim. So maybe, maybe this is that. Maybe this is her. She's back. Full circle moment. She's back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I want to trust him again. I want to believe that we can heal from this. But my friends keep telling me that if I stay... I'll lose all my self-respect. And the truth is, I've struggled with low self-esteem and low self-love in the past. Ironically, my boyfriend has always encouraged me to love myself, to put myself first, to prioritize my friends and family. He's been the one pushing me to grow.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This is going to be one we're going to have to put to the people. All right. I'm in the boat of not the asshole for not wanting to eat out of the dog bowl. That he's not the asshole. He's not the asshole. No, I agree. He's not the asshole. I don't know where I fall on her, though. She is. She is. So I don't know. How am I going to phrase this poll, you guys?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, do you think she's doing it intentionally? I guess, do you believe her comment? Yeah, do you believe her? Do you believe her comment? Or like, did he kind of come with more truth in this? It's interesting. It's an odd couple. You want to talk about odd? We're going to talk about Odd. This next one. Okay, I'm ready for this. I'm ready. This next one is Odd. Okay. Oh my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't know what is wrong with people. I think a lot of people lately have like bonked their heads.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I had to like make sure I give you the good stuff. Titled, am I the asshole for refusing to let my neighbor use my vintage bathtub for his therapy session?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I, 28 female, live in an old Victorian house that I inherited from my grandfather. One of the features of the house is the original clawfoot bathtub from the 1920s in the upstairs bathroom. I was originally going to look at having it removed, but kept putting it off and eventually I fell in love with it, so I kept it. Enter my next door neighbor, Dennis, about 50 male.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Dennis is dot dot dot eccentric. He's into all these weird health trends like grounding his feet in buckets of dirt for electrical balance. Lately, he's gotten into hydrotherapy, which apparently requires him to soak in cold water for extended periods to reset his nervous system.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Two weeks ago, Dennis came over and, completely out of the blue, asked if he could use my bathtub for his hydrotherapy sessions. I thought he was joking, but no. He earnestly explained that my bathtub was, quote, the perfect energy conduit because it was pre-industrial revolution and untainted by modern manufacturing processes. Question mark, question mark, question mark.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I told him no, obviously. I don't want a rando, wrinkly old dude filling it with ice water and doing whatever nonsense he's into. Dennis did not take this well. He said I was being selfish with community resources and that because I inherited the house rather than buying it, I had a duty to share since I didn't work for it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
He started bringing it up every time he saw me, passive-aggressively, saying things like, "'Must be nice to hoard that all to yourself.'" Then, somehow, this got out to the neighborhood Facebook group, who loves drama. And now, half the street thinks I'm the villain for gatekeeping my own bathtub.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I feel like if I leave, I'm not only going to lose him, but I'll have to figure out how to rebuild myself alone. What would you do if you were me?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
The cherry on top is Dennis conveniently claims that his shower stopped working too, so he doesn't have a place to even clean himself. Not like this was a favorite pastime of his to begin with, respectfully. I was trying to just avoid Dennis as much as I could and ignore the few comments from my neighbors until I ran into one of my neighbors while I was going for a walk Saturday evening.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't really know her, but we chatted briefly and somehow the issue came up. I was expecting some sympathy for the absurdity of this all. But this woman proceeds to tear into me like literal verbal assault. And by the end of it, asking me why I was being so stupid and selfish that I have multiple bathrooms in the house and couldn't even spare it to help this old man's health.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This morning, I found a literal gift-wrapped bar of soap in my mailbox. There was no note or anything, but I assumed this was her and an insanely passive-aggressive petty way of telling me to shove it. I do not want this man soaking in my tub. I do not care about his nervous system reset.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But now, I feel like I'm losing my mind because everyone around me is acting like I'm some sort of selfish monster. I get that some of the people in my neighborhood aren't keen on me living here, but I live by myself and work and go to school all day, and I'm genuinely starting to worry that I'm going to come home someday to find Dennis reclining in my tub. Am I the asshole?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They wouldn't know. I wonder if maybe he was friends with the uncle. Like maybe. And maybe knew that way. But no, not the asshole. The fact that the neighborhood is getting involved. The fact that Dennis posted this on the Facebook page. Like my neighborhood has a Facebook page, too. And there is a lot of drama on there.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But to post such a weird personal problem you have with someone on a group neighborhood Facebook page, he does sound unhinged. Yes. He sounds like he's... Seriously bored, if not deeply troubled. And no, I would not want someone coming in my home, learning the ins and outs, getting naked. I'm like, what's he going to do in there? Exactly. I could see it being a fetish.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, there's been weirder things. I'm just perplexed by this. And honestly... I was like, okay, let me see. Let me see what I have on Facebook Marketplace. This is like the only reason I have Facebook these days is like to see Marketplace. Dennis could go on Facebook and get a clawfoot tub for as little as free. Why doesn't he put it in his backyard?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
There you go. Like these are free. People are giving these things away because they're heavy and they want them removed from their home. And I know like people are going to be like, OK, well, Dennis shouldn't have to buy something. Whatever. I don't care what Dennis has to do. He can go to a gym. He can go to a health spa that has cold plunges and saunas. Saunas.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
He can do anything else, but he's not entitled to this person's bathtub.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like you feel like your takes might be a little too hot. Maybe. Maybe. I could see that. Because the theme I have for you today is like getting into the tea. Like give me that piping hot tea.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just like, I'm so blown. It's like, there's so many things too where it's like, okay, you were hungry. Cool. It took you over an hour. Like there was so much time before surgery prep and like actually going under the knife and like, okay. But he wasn't even answering his phone. Why aren't you answering your phone? Oh, I didn't even catch that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So much so like, what if something did go wrong and the nurse was calling you to be like, Hey, she had a bad reaction to anesthesia and didn't make it. Right. Oh, yeah. God, I guess that burger was more important than my wife. It's such a bad lie.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, get through the cancer and, like, who knows if he's even going to stay with her through that. Like, if you look at stats, the stats don't lie. If you look at heterosexual relationships and women get sick, men are more likely to leave than if the man got sick and the woman stayed to care for that person. Yeah. It's just the stats.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So hopefully she has a supportive partner through this, but no, not the asshole. I wouldn't take the roses. He needs to go back to the gutter he crawled out of, like pond scum energy here. Insane. The fact that he wasn't there to hold her hand and when she woke up, which, okay, now it's a two-hour window after that surgery.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
My fiance is going to come with me when I get my chin lipo, and he's going to hold my hand every step of the freaking way. Like, this is something that's just like, this is breast cancer. This is such a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, that would bring me back. 100%. And I think a lot of times, like, I think that is a message to people. Never be scared to be vulnerable with your person. They're married. You are in it. Whether it's boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, like, be vulnerable. Sometimes it is so much better to just fall on your sword and say that I handled this poorly. I don't know how to handle this.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm scared. I'm so sorry. Like, that is human. We're all human. We're all going to fuck up. But own it then. Yeah. Don't be like, oh, I was hungry. I had a burger and a beer. That's not what I want to hear. Like, be vulnerable. Talk.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's some weird twisted way of like self-preservation. It's scarier to be vulnerable than to just like be in trouble or have someone mad at you. Like it's, I don't know, some psychological stuff we're going to have to unpack in therapy.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That's a good little comeback. Yeah. Every petal. Clean the house. Take care of the kids. That's right. I like that. Where do you think the comments went on this one?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Top comment. Not the asshole. Not being there for you is already bad, but not even bothering to answer his phone while he knows you're going into surgery is beyond disrespectful. Next comment down. Not the asshole. He was having a burger throughout the whole time. Really? That's the most awful lie I've ever heard. His story doesn't add up. No, it doesn't. Wow. Ooh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just keep going back to she's so young I know there's so much place I can like I can remember being that age like I'm 31 now and it's like I remember when I was in college dating who I thought I would marry and all of a sudden I'm getting broken up with and he's got another girlfriend in Canada that he's had the whole time and like I remember just being like That's my person. What the fuck?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Apparently there's a comment from OP that suggested he might've been using some Coke as opposed to an affair. So just as bad.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's still a long time to be gone. Exactly. Maybe he needed to let the buzz fade a little bit.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't like it. I don't like it at all. But I did like having you on today. I did too. I enjoyed myself so much. Oh, Rachel, this was so good. You have so many amazing things going on right now. You have two podcasts. Yes. Where can people find you? How can they listen to the shows that you have?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This is so fun. My pleasure. Pleasure is all mine. I hope I didn't offend anyone. No. Hey, it's just a difference of opinions. There we go. It's not what we're saying. It's not fact. It's not end all be all. It's just an opinion. Just an opinion. Just an opinion. Just a hot take. Just a mildly lukewarm, mildly tempered take. It's fun. But thank you so much. Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That's all I got for you guys. We have merch on sale. There's more on Patreon this month. But other than that, until next time, bye.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
My mom was giving me terrible advice. My mom was like, why don't you get on a plane to go to Canada and see if you can fix it? And I'm like, why do I have to fix it? He fucked up, but I do remember just feeling like, Well, fuck, like it's over. Like the world is ending. Like it feels so big, so heavy. Yeah. And there's you don't really see a way forward.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I think you are well qualified and I'm so excited to have you, which... Let me introduce my guest formally for you guys. Hi, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan. And today I have the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, so fucking smart. I'm like, I'm blown away by you. I really am. But this is Rachel Lindsay. Hi, guys. Happy to be here.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But the thing is, like, I also think at at 23, I didn't really know who I was. Right. She's saying, like, he's pushing me to to be strong and he's pushing me to prioritize friends and all this stuff. Like, I don't want to build myself alone. But you really don't need him. Like you can do it alone and not necessarily alone either because you have friends, you have family.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You're going to have all these other experiences that will build you over time. But like I feel like I finally even now at 31, I'm like, OK, I mostly feel like I know who I am. But there's still parts where I'm like, oh, I'm a little too big of a people pleaser. Like, I got to work on that. Like, we never truly stop working on ourselves and growing.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And if you do stop, then like, in my opinion, that's kind of a problem. Yeah. Yeah. So don't be scared of that. For sure.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, I'd love to know which part he found closure. Yeah. Like, you had to fuck someone one last time to, like, okay, yeah, I do like my girlfriend. Yeah. It's interesting, and, like, I get having a conversation, but the minute she leaned in and kissed you, like, you should have got up and left. It didn't need to turn into sex, though. Yeah. And that's... I'm not about it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Hopefully live up to that intro. No, I... Well, we met in South... Like, for South By a couple weeks ago. And I had, like, known of you because of The Bachelor and Bachelorette. I mean, first black woman to be The Bachelorette is iconic. And so I knew of you, but I didn't really know your background and, like... how accomplished you were and are.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, no. Top comment on this one. Give him closure from your potential relationship. Bye.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, uh-uh. We have no comments on this one, no updates. So we'll have to see if they hear this and let us know what happened.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, this next one. Also coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit, five days old, titled, Am I wrong for finding the comments some people have made about my engagement ring insulting? So I just recently got engaged on Valentine's Day this year. I was so happy about it and absolutely loved the ring my fiance had custom made for me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
For a little backstory, I was born in October and I've always loved opals. In my opinion, I think they are more beautiful than diamonds because each one is very unique, especially if they aren't lab-grown. My fiancé knows this and handpicked the most beautiful opal stone for my ring, then had someone custom make the setting and band for it based on what he thought suited me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Since getting my ring, I have made posts about it on social media. After showing it to some of my work colleagues, friends, and family members, some have made comments that just don't sit right with me. They would say, quote, I wasn't sure about it, but seeing it in person makes it look a lot better or something similar.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Now, I know some people might not like how untraditional my ring is, but I know that even if I didn't personally like someone's engagement ring, I wouldn't tell them that. I'd just say it fits their personality or something like that. Am I wrong for feeling upset?
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
So, and Austin's like, no, no, no, it's because I went to Craig and I gave him some criticism and he's not able to handle that criticism whatsoever.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
You want to name the fish, Austin?
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
I mean, waiting a few years to have a kid. OK, but like the crazy thing is like if I wait like more than that, because like a few years can turn into like more than that, because like years keep going.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
Meanwhile, Taylor was questioning Sally's past actions, and Sally was ready to move towards a friendlier future.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And then Sally decided to flip the script on Tyler.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
And Craig's like, I asked you to stay out of people's business unless it concerns you. And you promised me that you could do.
Watch What Crappens
#2701 Southern Charm S10E07: It Takes Tuba To Tango
He's like, deuces, I'm out of here. That's it, JT, and all the important boys are leaving with me.