Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes. This weeks episode has dad and Justin responding to stories where the writer is questioning how to set fair expectations and holding themselves/others accountable. How do you deal with a roommate that just completely starts disrespecting you.. and is it fair to have that expectation of basic manners? How do you get your older parent to date? Or how do you finally give back an exes things when they're refusing? These are some tough ones that are going to need your help too! Submit your write-in ! https://forms.gle/8G2e4ockyZLNoiuX7 Bonus Stories on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fatherknows !! Our P.O. Box: Father Knows Something. 5042 Wilshire BLVD. #470. Los Angeles, CA. 90036Follow up on Instagram @ Father Knows Something UPDATE US!! If your story has been read respond here: https://forms.gle/6CP9KoWvJ4NMKewa7 Video version available on YouTube: YouTube.com/fatherknowssomething Be sure to subscribe and tell us what you would give for advice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What advice can help couples moving in together?
Hi, everyone. Dad here, Justin. Another episode of Father Knows Something. We're back. I love it when we're back. Once again. We are here. We're back in the chair. It is a wonderful evening. It's quiet. No one here to bug us. Let's go at it.
Okay. Diving right in. Okay. Number one. Number one. Hello, FKS crew. Hello. First off, thank you so much for both podcasts and bringing me joy every week. I started listening to both podcasts almost exactly one year ago. May 25, I started on the way to a concert. I binged everything since and tune in every week now.
So my write-in isn't necessarily much of a problem, but more seeking some fatherly advice along with engaged couple advice. That's why we're here. Me, 27 female, and my 30 male boyfriend are moving in together this summer. We're both very excited, but it is both of our first time living with a partner.
We have been together since COVID and are finally ready to move onto this next step in the relationship. I was hoping I could get some tips, tricks, wisdom on how to coexist with a partner. I've shared a room my entire childhood and throughout college, so I'd say I'm pretty comfortable with shared space. I have been on my own for about four years in my own place now.
He, on the other hand, has always had his own room and then lived alone. I know it'll be an adjustment, but I feel it'll be more for him than for me. Aside from the fact I've never lived with a boy before, haha. So, do you have any advice for us? Ideal outcome? Moving in goes smoothly and we figure out our vibes together smoothly.
I would definitely say it is really important that you guys identify in the space from the very beginning what you really need for space. Yeah. And that you guys can coordinate what is going to be your space, his space. Make sure that you guys, just on the framework of it, It could be as simple as making sure you have the right toothbrush holder at your sink.
There's little nuances that is really important that you guys take some time, go to Ikea, go to whatever the stores are in your area, and find the things that are going to make your life flow easy. And do it from the beginning. Definitely walk in there. If you see that there's drawers that aren't the way, empty them. Get everything dialed in before you get there.
So when you do get there, it goes easy. I know that I've been fortunate enough to have a few times where I have lived with mates. And I know that if I were to consider it, that I would want to make sure that everything is absolutely as smooth as can be, because you are still going to find there are things that are just not going to flow well, that you're going to have to do.
It could be as simple as dishes. I mean, new sets of dishes. I mean, there are certain things that people just wanted to make each other. It's now not his home. It's not your home. It's now our home. And that's really the important thing to get across. And I've also would suggest no matter how small something could be, just discuss it.
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Chapter 2: How to handle an ex's belongings after a breakup?
Yeah, which in my head, I'm going back and forth because naturally you want to be delicate about it, but also maybe being delicate isn't the best. And what you said, being more straightforward and direct about, hey, I mean, it's here until then, and then it's going to be gone. It's gone. That might make sense because... It might need to just be that direct.
Instead of if you're more delicate and say, hey, just want to remind you your stuff's here, you're probably going to get the same answer.
It'll be worse answer. It's like pulling a Band-Aid off slowly by letting it just pull that hair or just rip it.
Yeah, I agree. I do think physical things can hold that energy, especially in the sense that you know it's there. Yeah, it's not in your way, but anytime you bring something down of your stuff that you need to kind of put away for a little, you're seeing it and then you're reengaging with those memories and everything that's associated with it.
And what happens if you have a pipe that breaks in your basement and all the stuff gets destroyed? And then all of a sudden it's your fault because your pipe broke and he's mad.
No.
Well, the bottom line is it shouldn't be there.
Yeah, I agree.
It needs to be gone.
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Chapter 3: What to do about a messy roommate?
Well, and you can talk about that too. Like it's starting to affect our friendship. Because that's an element of this too. It's not just losing the roommate. It's affecting this going forward.
It's all four of you working together in your living situation. And if you can't do it, you got to get rid of the person that's mucking it up.
All right.
We're rolling on.
Rolling on.
Number four.
Number four. Let's go. Here we go. Number four. Hello, all. Hello. I'm a longtime listener of Two Hot Takes and a recent listener to Father Knows, and this is my first time writing in. Okay. I, 22 female, am severely stressed about my dad's 71 male financial issues right now.
He is currently at a temp job and they just told him that the job will end in about three weeks and he has nothing else lined up. A little backstory, my dad used to work for an engineering company for 30 years and was making good money. So good where he could pay for my, my mom's, and his own vehicles. And bought a really nice house on a golf course and everything.
And even paid for my college classes for the time I was there. However, the company he was at was sold to someone else and my dad was let go in the process. At that point, I'd assumed that he had been probably getting ready to retire anyway. I was very, very wrong. He basically, from my understanding, had no retirement and was already pulling from his social security.
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Chapter 4: How to support a parent facing financial struggles?
If you have somebody that doesn't have the interest in improving and the interest to do the job, they're there just to draw a paycheck and do the minimum. You probably have an uninspired employee, number one. And if you can't inspire them, you're going to have to find that they're no longer part of your team. They phase themselves out. And I'm not saying that everybody is perfect.
I think that people generally, for the most part, would love to find the job that they like. It is up to them to do the job. But it's also up to the manager to make sure they have the right person in their job and that they're trained well to do the job and succeed.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Number six. Let's see how you handle this one. Okay. Number six. Starts right off, I am in a financially completely different spot than my friends and it's taking a toll on me. I, 25 female, went to an expensive university and graduated about three years ago. I had almost no financial guidance before going into school. My parents aren't the best with money.
I signed a terrible loan with a private student loan company that charged me an insane amount of interest before I even graduated. I have since refinanced, but the downside is that because of my last loan, my payments are so high, literally a third of my salary. I make the average salary for a 25-year-old. It's just that I can't afford much beyond my student loans with my main job.
I have a second job that I use for my extra spending money. The issue is all my friends want to do is go to bars or eat out at restaurants around the city. I always tag along and order a side dish or faked drinking with them by getting plain soda water at the bar and passing it off as a vodka soda.
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