Dad
Appearances
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Five, four, three, two, one. We are on. Hi, everybody. This is week number two of January.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I dated Carla. She broke up, or we broke up. She met a guy. I invited the guy into my home and said- Not everyone is you, though. On the show, we found this out. You're a rare breed.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But because I love her as a friend, I wanted to see her happy with the right person.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I hear you. I'm listening to what you're saying, but... I have to tell you, I really, only from my own personal experience, I always say, let the people that are involved find their happiness and best of luck to them. And if they don't work out, oh, well.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I love the idea of Switzerland. So that's where I'm going to stay is, you know, let everyone work on their own thing and everyone has to go do what they feel is best for them.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But it sounds like that, that they connected after the breakup. It had nothing that Liam, it appears, it appeared right.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So let me ask you a question. Let's imagine Liam and Ashley end up getting married. They really find out they're the happiest couple in the world. They go the next distance of 80 years.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And you and Justin have really been a part of the community here in Burbank because you guys have been at the equestrian center every night and day working over there.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
That's the whole point. I would love to see their friends saying, you know something? I understand your dynamics, but we want everyone to really be with the right person. And this couple here were the wrong couple. End of story. Pulled over for the ticket. The cops said, we're letting you go with a warning. Guys go your own direction. And if you can maintain a friendship, great.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But let the relationship and the control of their lives go. You don't have control.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So let me ask you this question. So here's the question. What happens if when you guys break up, you guys say, look, you know, we understand we didn't work out. And can we be responsible going forward, even though we cared for each other greatly and we want to see good things for one another?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Can the couple be mature enough to say, hey, I really want to see the best for that person, even though we- Absolutely, but it's not with one of my best friends.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So like with your mom, your mom and I maintain Christmases afterwards. She may have seen some other people and they came to the house and I was always cordial, but because they weren't my friend, it was okay. But if Dan, for instance, was my friend, that would have been.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Well, I'm sure there are going to be people that are going to disagree with me. But in the very beginning, I think that you should have really said to her, you know, something that's really awkward. We both like him. Maybe we just need to let him see what he does. And I'll come clean with him and you come clean with him. Tell him that you like him. And nobody owns this guy.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
The guy didn't have a chance to make his own choice. And now that you were so graceful in yielding, now that you think the girl code comes in and says, well, I yielded. She went out with him. I can never go out with him. That's my whole point. My whole point to this whole thing. Let him make the choice. Be honest. Be direct with everybody openly.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And that, I always find that openness solves the problem. It's when people don't disclose, their problem shows up. Now, that's my opinion. I'm going to be quiet, but I'm sure everyone in the world is going to have comments on this.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I got a question. But before she goes to him and gets into this battle, I think it's not a bad idea to go to the actual other girl and say, you know something, I made a mistake by really saying something to you that I really want to be clear with. I don't think it's that serious. And just say, look, I'm not trying to stab you in the back. I don't want to have anything.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But I really did like him too. And I want to be able to let him make the choice. And I'm not trying to compete with you. We want to make sure that the right person ends up with this person. I may not be his person. You may not be his person. You may be his person. I may be his person. But we have to really let it take its course.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Yeah. A Christmas gift from a friend of mine, but I thought it was perfect. It's good.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I thought I thought the other girl has actually made a move.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You're right. I mean, but I see that there are two options.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Bravo. Hear, hear. Cheers. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
There we go. We're going to go to number four. Four. Four.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I don't see the problem with her saying right now, you know, just an FYI, I was hooking up with him before you guys even started dating.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And that's what I would say and put into it. But it goes back to my same rules. All is fair in love and war until I say I do. And all this stuff with these girl codes and bro codes, I'm sorry. You want to be with the person that's going to be the right person. And a person takes off and goes a different direction. They have to feel free. We live in the United States of America. It's free.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I'm going to say that you... And that person wasn't a bad person? I'm going to say that you... The fact that he met somebody else and he broke off the relationship with you, thank God it happened now and not later.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I always agree they should call it off first and take a breather and make sure because when you go to one relationship to the other, at least you want to be clear headed of the whole thing.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I can't, I can't wait to see the rules that everybody writes because we're going to have a whole series of, it's going to be like the declaration of independence. It's going to be a constitution.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Not anymore. You don't even have to worry about that problem.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You know, I mean, I dated a girl named C, for lack of a better one, C. And I was probably 22. And I went out of town on business and I came back and my best friend was dating, K was dating C. I know, letters.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And at the end of the day, you know, K and J, me being J, we both sat home New Year's Eve and he called me up and said, well, I guess you're not going out with C and I guess you're not going out with C either. We called each other out. But I mean, I was seeing her in the very beginning. And that's scummy. It was scummy. But at the end of the day, we are still lifelong friends.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
C has never been heard of ever again. And our friendship survived it. Well, it's a good story now. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I'm saying you don't really know what happened. Stay out of it. Not your issue. And I agree with your husband that if he is a slime, he will slime again. He will get busted. And it's not your issue. Stay away from it because you don't really know. And if you say anything, you can cause a wave where it's really not even appropriate.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
We don't know in this case, period. We don't know. So under the 14th Amendment of the Constitution.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Bro code, girl code. We don't know the answer. We shut up because we don't know.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Everyone can have their statement, but I just say, stay far away from it. It's none of my business at this point.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You all got your opinions. We want to hear your comments.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Out of all nights. I'm just saying, I'm so over this code thing. I mean, you gotta have friends. They're all friends. We met friends, couples get married, they have friends and all of a sudden the couple breaks up And the friends that have been friends for five years because party A introduced party B and they're still friends. All of a sudden you lose your arm because you lost your best friend.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I can't hang out with you because my wife says no. I mean, dumbest fucking thing in the world.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Absolutely. I'm going to haunt you. Still? Still. Oh, man.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Anyway, so I really do want to see the constitution of bro code, girl code, because I just think it's just too... I don't know if there is a constitution, though.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Here's my code. Be honest with your partner. If you're going to be done, say, I'm done before you move on. And whatever, as long as you're honest and say, I'm done, then it's done. Then do whatever you want. Once that person knows that you're done, so they're not basing their life on you still being there. Be honest. That's my code. Be honest. Don't lie. Don't cheat. Don't steal.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Have integrity, at least with whatever you're going to be with that person. And be honest. End of story. Honesty, best policy.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I didn't hear any bro codes in this thing, did we? We only had girl code, no bro code.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Okay. So that's it for our show for tonight. Thanks so much for your writing in, participating, and being a part of our family.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
We're going to see you in the backyard. We're going over to Patreon.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So let me try to understand this correctly. She wants Liam... and to be in a relationship or not with anybody, but certainly not because, or maybe even go back to Katie because she feels she would like Liam to really live with someone who he's really not in love with. Rather than just release the anger for everybody and just realize that this couple didn't work out.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So certainly in the Hills of LA, the people that are really in the flats and the concrete, you know, areas have not really been affected, but the people that are, that are living in the Hills and coming out of where there's Bush.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And if he finds someone to work out with, let him go be with the person that he's really supposed to be with. We don't know what connects different people with different people. But I've always said for as long as I can remember back when my teens, all bets are off until you say I do. And the fact that they didn't say I do was Liam recognized he wasn't the right one for Katie.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So anyone that's going to have this anger to Liam or try to isolate him from that relationship is really saying, we really want you to be with the wrong person.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
He's just saying, I don't want Liam to be with anybody else that's connected with us.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But this is an opportunity they can be friends by really supporting one another as a friend moving on and going forward and say, you dodged a bullet. You're with a guy that for whatever reasons for six years you were together, you're free.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Now go take the energy and put it into somebody that's going to really be meaningful to you and maybe be your person and quit wasting that energy on this other individual.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And I witnessed a lot of the people that were hit the other evening.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
What happens if she is friends with Ashley and Liam? Doesn't she, as a friend, not Katie.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
the writer, OP, doesn't she have an obligation of trying to support people that might be the right couple because these people were the wrong couple? Can't she just say, look, you know, I recognize your love. but it wasn't the right relationship. And they may find out they're wrong too, but let them figure that one out on their own. Why are we trying to control everyone's dynamics?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Really? You can't say I'm your friend and I want to see you and I want to be a part of, you know, you finding the right person.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And I think, and I also believe the counts are going to get a lot worse when we really get down to the, to hear the numbers.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Her ex-boyfriend's friend connected with another friend.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody with a brand new beat.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
What do you have for us for writings? What did you get? What did you find? Anything good? Any good stories?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And I know you still think I'm your daughter and I may not know what I'm talking about, but I'm really asking you as you would want me to respect you and what you're doing. I'm pleading with you to respect me in this one. What is the accountability if they don't respect it?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That's the tough one because you guys made a choice to move in together.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And you can't kick him out and he can't kick you out. You're in this game.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
We are here on the street. I have to come up with a better one.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And what is worse for a dad? What's the bigger threat? You're going to pay for the vet bill or you're going to never hear the end of it from me if something happens to that dog.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Okay. So I just want you to know that I did yesterday have a discussion regarding, we've been talking about addiction and as a family member, how do you deal with it? And so I did talk to an expert yesterday and they said, Al-Anon. So if anyone has had some of this stuff going on in their life, apparently there is an avenue that you can look into.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I realize, Morgan, that we all want to be able to communicate as adults and mature. I get it. And I'm not one to throw threats out to make someone scared and doing the right thing. I always try to make sure we have a conversation that we say, hey, I would really appreciate this and I would hope that you will go along with me on it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
It's going to be as important to you because I know at the end of the day, your dad loves you. No different than you love your dad. But you guys really have to find the way to communicate well on a consistent basis, both ways consistently, that you guys are going to respect one another and your boundaries.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Their bodies, if you've raised them domestically and you've raised them with these right foods, their bodies really don't jump into the other stuff really easily. You're changing their diet drastically.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Kind of like, yeah. Something similar.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah. You were there. You would have made sure it didn't happen. You would have been there.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yep. I would not have this if you would have been there.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
If I take it off, it will bleed again.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You can't get a stitch the way this one happened.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You're going to have to cut this. Hi, everyone. Say hi to Pedro and Morgan. They are both here. Pedro has his mic, but he kind of got away from it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Oh, I thought it was Alcoholic Anonymous as AA.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I think you're better off to say, look, let's face the fact where we're at, and we are not getting back together, but you have a responsibility as a parent. I want you to be involved in your child's life, and we have to figure this out. Some people say, I have to stay in the relationship so I have security. That's the wrong reason to be in a relationship.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Give him the fact, we're done, and that way you have the freedom to go on with your life. He takes on his responsibility that he's going to have some child support. She's got child support, hopefully from the first father, or she should get it by laws of the state. I mean, they put these laws in effect that they're supposed to work. And child support is one that definitely has to work.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I mean, I know that your mom went through it with your biological father. And I know there was good times and there was tough times. But the bottom line is he never escaped the responsibility.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So I thought that was great information and I wanted to share it along.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You know, we all have thoughts and opinions and doesn't make one person right or one person wrong. But I really do believe that you have to go on with your life and not keep investing in this person. It is definite that this person does not have the depth of love and respect for you that you would want for someone in a relationship to have, especially a father of your child.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You want your children to grow up knowing that the male figure in their life or your mate loves you and respects you and not to perpetuate. Is that the right word? Mm-hmm. that this whole other dynamic and the insecurity that it all brings within a family unit. I mean, there's so many negatives that you can come up with for doing what is not truth, that is not healthy emotionally long-term.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I believe it's not healthy long-term for a child. Now, everyone else may have a different view, but I've always believed that the truth prevails. And that's just the way I would lead it. I would live it and make sure that I can get them to pay the responsible thing. But to keep clarity and honesty within your children that that's the value that they learn and not the manipulation for the survival.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That you will survive in a different way if you put your mind to it and your actions to it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And they're awesome. And this was, you know, the point that I was trying to make sure that it was there for was to help the, the family, not so much the person that was, you know, having the addiction issue. It was the family and how to handle it within themselves to function the best that they can function with this stress going on in their life.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And what I see is how is this different? I think that what you just proposed is a wonderful solution because it's just open and honest. So if he wants to date other people, he wants the dating sites, say, dude, you're welcome to your dating sites. You're welcome to date. But for right now, for the next year, we are going to live together.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And yeah, we're not going to be sleeping in the same bed, but we're going to be co-parents.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And that approach is pure honesty and it works. It's direct. It's literally structured. And I like that. And it's easier on the guy. He gets to do whatever the hell he wants.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Well, I look at it being a very respectful solution to a really tough situation.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I wouldn't hide from the respect of what her sister has meant to her. And just be a friend. I mean, the reality is that her sister did pass. I mean, she realizes that. It's no different than anyone that has suffered grief by a loss of a family member. To deny that it happened is even worse than the fact that it did happen and that you're here for them. I mean, that's really what it is.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I mean, I have friends that lost their son in tragic accidents. I'm not ignoring the fact that this person existed and it's important and he was a part of all of our lives. But we do deal with the reality that we move on, we go forward.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Yeah, I just wouldn't dismiss the fact that her sister was a major part of her life. And if you knew her sister when she was a part of your life, that's something to have a common bond with that we can share with that we both miss this person. And she was great and never diminished the importance or the validity that this person was in life.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Because even in death, they're still a part of your life. They're part of your existence and who you are and the way you think and the way you process. They had significance. And I would never just go to the part where they are insignificant. Right.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I know that Pedro had a traumatic experience today because he was going to go check out the horses. So the sweet horses just took the little snots. They went right down to him and he was kind of going up to sniff them and see if I thought they were going to, you know, kiss each other. And next thing I know is Pedro backed up and started barking.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Really, and don't have to focus on her. If she brings her up or there's a thought, you can certainly bring a kind thought and a memory that you had or something that you experienced together. Yeah. The last thing that I would ever want not to do, or I mean, I would never do is diminish their existence. You know, it's very, very real, but I wouldn't push anything down their throat.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I would let them lead the way also in some of the conversation, but don't run from it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
My vote is don't give anyone, don't give them the inch. Just stay far clear of it and ignore whatever comes in. Don't let them know that they're penetrating the veil. As soon as he goes up and says, don't contact with me, that's contact in itself. And I'm sure people will disagree with this thought. I'm not saying that my way is the only way. It's just the way that I believe in my experience.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You're not scooting anywhere. All right, let's start it off.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So, Morgan, you went to Disneyland yesterday. I did.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I mean, all that email that comes from that person, you can report to spam. And it goes right into your spam folder. You never even see it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That's the way I would do it. I mean, I would never let that person know that they've had any entrance, period.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
How does she help her dad? I think that, you know, the fact that he himself has made some movement to go try different tracks and he's trying to answer his own things. I mean, you can only help whatever you can help. That A, he's willing to accept. And B, what you can afford. I mean, it's... I mean, life is a struggle. And I understand everyone wants to help each other when it's in family.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But I think the best thing you can do is probably try to help him find the work that he can keep his pride, because that's one of his big things right now is his pride.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And so don't minimize his desire for that. Try to let him know you're aware of it and you're here to do whatever you can. And if you find a different job for him, you can say, hey, dad, I found this. Let's go check it out. Let's get in the car and let's go. And that's how you really can probably help him.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Find him the alternatives that he can still have his pride and also get the success he needs so he can afford to live and eat and do what he has to do.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I think the real answer, you really came down the right path, was get out of his own way from exactly what he's been doing and migrate his talents to be able to be utilized by people that might need him down the same path. working with horses, but certainly a new way of generating revenue.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I think that's a great plan. I think that was brilliant.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Can I ask you a question? When you see him riding down the street on a different horse, is he smiling?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I think it's wonderful. And I think that's a great approach. We'd love to hear this. I think that was brilliant.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That means we've been kicking through these things.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Well, the only thing that I was focusing on is the lack of the relationship you feel with communicating or being able to talk to your dad to get to communicate. And my answer has always been put the message out in your mind that you are communicating and just listen in your head what he is saying. You may think, well, that's just my interpretation of what I think he would say.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Just consider it's what he's saying. And see what that answer is for that advice. And he may have that answer for you if you just listen to yourself as he might be funneling that information right into you. You got to really listen to your inner being.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Oh, Pedro. We're going to have to go get, we're going to make sure that you are bathed.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
It doesn't matter what you start to do, but getting the, I would be saying very, on the same par that you're saying, I just say it easier. Get the motor going.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Anything. Anything that you do is going to lead you to the next step. And it's all positive. You may find a job today that you hate tomorrow, but you at least know one more thing. Once you find you hate it tomorrow, that wasn't the job.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And then you find the next thing. And if you keep doing that, you will trip into whatever it is. Look, it might be as simple as being a florist. It might be as simple as being a jockey. It could be- Well, that's not simple. A dolphin trainer. It could be a photographer. It could be someone that goes out and just enjoys outdoor by mowing lawns. We don't know what it is.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You might end up finding medicine is so interesting that you decide, I'm going to find a way to go back to school and get a degree in chemistry and become a full-fledged brain surgeon. I don't know. There's so much. There is so much out there that you're not going to find anything if you don't engage.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Some people pay money to go do Color Me Mine, to go get pottery and make pottery and paint it to take it home with them. Some people go to stores to buy pottery.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Some people... Whatever you think is going to cost you to go learn to do, you may find that someone will pay you to do it. You may learn to love dance. And next thing you know is you're dancing and you become a dance teacher. There's always a profession involved in something that we like to do. The most important thing is find the thing you like to do and go find a way of getting into it.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And the only one that's stopping you from moving forward to do anything is you.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Well, I mean, you've kept going. I kept saying, well, maybe we have a number eight.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So we'll see you at Patreon. If you're not already a member, we encourage you to check us out and give that a try. And we want to thank you for joining us for this episode. Isn't it weird to see the different position we're in?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Really? Yeah. You're going to keep going on that. You're going to keep complaining.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
He's fine. He's such a good guy. So Pedro, Jerry, and Morgan will all say adios amigos. And we'll see you in the backyard, and otherwise we'll see you next week.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You know, asking me this thought is...
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
difficult because i may have a different view what's important than what you have is that what's important because i may have a view of saying you know nature always has a the universe always has a wonderful way of taking its course and bringing us the magic and leave leave our faith in the universe to see what happens they they may or may not engage to take that name you know
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
They may have another daughter and they might want to call their daughter Jo. I'm not really certain what's going to happen. But if you are committed that you really want to use that name, then you use that name when you have your child, if they have it or not.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I mean, you can certainly say, you know, I don't know what your plan is, but since my husband's name is Joe and we want to keep it going down the next generation the same way, are you okay to go a different direction? Or if you are, I just want you to know that we are probably going to do the same thing. We certainly have had write-ins where people use the same name in their family.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And they come up with a different nickname, be it Skip or whatever it might be. You just have to do what's right for you and let them do what's right for them. And not... really bring on any hostilities because of something like this.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And that's the part you don't want to do is you don't want to introduce other hostilities and other issues within the family over this where it just seems to always work out when people do that. I mean, I've seen families where everyone in the world, and they've had a lot of children, they call each kid the same name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
But however, they end up getting their own nickname or their own following somehow. It works out. And my advice to you, if you were my kid and I was the grandfather of all this, I would say just not worry about it. Let's see where it goes. I mean, you can certainly have a nice conversation with her and say, you know, just it's a concern. I'm not going to let it destroy our relationship.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Hello, everybody with a brand new beat.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
I just want to make sure that you're aware that we're going to probably want to do the same thing with this name because of my husband's name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Did you find your way to get introduced into Club 33?
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
And I thought your idea of letting the brothers have the conversation is the best thing that keeps the ladies out of this direct fire.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
So anyone out there, Morgan is really trying to see what Club 33 is all about.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
David. So they can certainly make it David Jr.,
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
What is the family name? It's the last name. It's not the first name. Family name is the last name.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
That's right. But it will not follow to be Joe II or Joe III because... It's a broken line.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Okay, we're going to go for number two.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Me and Justin. She wants to enjoy the experience.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
Well, I'm glad you consider me emotionally, would they say mature? Yeah. Boy. I was sitting here thinking right before you said that, I'm going to ask Morgan how I would handle this, but knowing that's a wild card, I didn't know I wanted to do that. What would you do? You know... When it comes to stuff that you tell me, I think that I legitimately respect your wishes.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You know, it's really difficult when people don't respect one another.
Father Knows Something
168: Father Knows: On The Right Track?
You and I have a way of communicating where I recognize that you're an adult and I recognize that you have your way of doing things. And I'm okay by saying I can chill out and I can back up and respect that boundary. Not everybody can do that. And what do you do about those people? I think you just have to really sit down and say, look, we are all adults now.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Hello, everybody, and welcome to this special, special, special week of Father Knows Something. We have not only Justin as a reader and guest host again, but we have a very special set of guest hosts tonight. We have Midwest and Married with us, my son, Matt, and daughter-in-law, Amy. Can I correct you? Yeah.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I think you're on the right path is find some way to involve the, uh, the bring bear. So they feel that they were a part of it, but everybody else will totally get it and understand and keep it simple.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I think it's a sad day when you lose that stone, no matter if it's a piece of granite, because it was so special of what it represented more than the value.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And so, by the way, you hit four out of four. We all agree on the same thing. So I think that that might be a plan that everyone will accept that you will find out when you make that change.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
What do you want for your wedding someday? Mine? Yeah. It really depends on the action of who it is and what's involved. I don't know. I mean, I certainly think about it. I would be lying to you if I told you I don't think about it. But when I think about, you know, when I'm seeing somebody and I care about them and, you know, I always get a different picture. It really depends on my mate.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And right now, since there's no mate... You know, the chalkboard is wide open. It's a whiteboard. I can do whatever I want. But it would really help if I had somebody to fill the other, you know, to wear the dress because I don't think I can wear both.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah, you actually used a word with the word alignment. I've always used the word, it's the same thing, meeting of the minds. And your minds are definitely in two different places at this point. And if you want to have a relationship that will be successful, unless you both can grow the same direction.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And if you can't, then you're not in the middle of a meeting of the minds and it could be a lot of stress. And as much as he is, is he will say, I, like you said, I don't want to lose her. I'll do anything. I I'll give up anything for her. But later in some other moments, you may have resentment. So make sure that you guys are on the same path.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I mean, this episode was really supposed to be called romance. And you could have a lot, some people choose not to have children and some people choose to have children, but you definitely don't want to lose the romance, which is the love of being, of wanting the same things and being able to enjoy life in a way that you both want to enjoy it.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
So if you're not on both on par with children, you're the wrong match. Typically, I would say move on and find your match, find your person.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I gave up kids for you. Right. Remember that one? I gave up kids for you. I mean, that I can, I feel I can see it in the future.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Do any of us think they should go to, you know, talk to a family therapist and just, you know, kind of open up all these different things and thoughts? Why or why not? What are you afraid of with children? See if they can figure that out before they make this drastic decision on terminating their relationship when they really do want a life together. Is there anything to that?
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
He's not your problem anymore. Simple. You need to just go on with life and it should not at all affect you one way or the other because there's no life in the future for you and him. Period. If you guys see each other or you're in the same area, he is no different than anybody else. The fact that you once were intimate or you once had feelings, that's gone.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And I know that I'm more bold in a lot of us that, that, you know, when we get into these conversations, but you know, it's, it's a wrap. It's like a movie, you know, the movie's wrapped, the actors start in a new next week, they're in another show and they, they take on a new character. He's taken on a new character.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You know, you just got to put it in a frame of mind that it cannot affect you anymore. And you can't take it personal because you both realize that you guys might be great soil and you must be great water, but together you guys made mud. And with that knowledge, just recognize and just accept that we are not the ones that are going to grow a great garden together.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
We're going to make mud and it's going to be sloppy and icky. And as she, and long as you have that vision in your head, it might make it easier for you to go on and find the right person and put your focus in the, you know, the, the, the person who is not like him that can take a relationship really serious. Look, I broke up in a relationship eight months ago.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I could have gone out the next day, but I chose to spend time with myself and take care of the things that I wanted to take care of, not get involved. Until I really felt that things were really clear and there was a time that shouldn't affect anybody. But sometimes people, it still affects at the end of the day. But that's not your issue.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You just got to go forward and keep your head high and look for your own relationships.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
She doesn't have to abandon going to her sports club because she enjoyed that.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Especially when it's so young. In that case, yes, if they are young, you never know. Even as you get older, you don't know.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Or however, whatever word you want to use. Jokes, jokes, jokes.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Yeah. Yeah. And you really, all of you said it. She picked to end this thing, just let it go and move on and go find the right person. He obviously was not the right person. Go find your person and focus on that. All right. Okay. We are now going to roll in the number five, or is that going to be it for the- Grand finale on number five. Woo-hoo! The grand finale.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I'm going to start with Midwest married over there.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Well, I mean, you can look at it a couple of different ways, but I'm going to let you take it your own way. Love versus in love. And I'll have my chance later.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Matthew, you really nailed what I was going to say. So, I mean, it's... You know, communication. Be so brutally honest with one another that you can, because if one person feels it, the other person typically feels it. Your radars are catching it. And you guys also both may have had a lot of anticipation for this relationship leading up to it and wanted to both try it and see what would happen.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
But because you did try it and you have seen what happened, I would certainly investigate doing things together that will take you to the next step. You know, before, when you guys got, you know, said you're going to get married, the first thing I did is I sent you guys to dancing school.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Now, I don't know, I don't know how long, how many times you've gone dancing, ballroom dancing or swing dancing since the wedding. My guess is going to be you haven't.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And, you know, I think when I watch people and I watch that connection and they do things they get to create together and have that fun, it is a beautiful, fun thing to do. In fact, I'm going to start taking ballroom dancing myself right now and swing and rumba and samba.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And salsa because, you know, you do meet people and you have a good time.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And so it's a great... And that's your... And you're getting the same wedding gift. You're going to dance class.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I've always learned people that dance together stay together. And it's a fun connection. So find something that you like to do together and let that help you grow. And that's all I got.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Peace. Peace. You know, passion. Having passion and trying to make sure you find the desire for passion, that you can get that, you know, within your eyes for each other. That's sometimes a... you know, a line of work together to keep that alive and to keep it where you can. It's part of growth.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I really do believe it's part of mutual respect and growth that you still have that feeling when you see them and your heart gets tickled when you see their car when you drive up in the driveway and you see them, but they're there, you go, oh, they're home. You know, I get to see them. It's a nice thing. And I've had that experience and I've had the other side.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And Midwest Mary, we have Matt, my son, and his wife, my daughter-in-law, Amy. And we're just kicking it off as the now Thanksgiving is over. We're going to the Christmas season. So you can see we're all bundled up here in sunny, warm California with our blankets and our Christmas socks.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And if you're with the wrong person, it doesn't last. It's time to go find that with the person that you really think that you can communicate with and that you have that meeting of the minds that it really is something that's going to continue to grow. Mm-hmm.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Or if it was just a try and it just found out it's mutually not there.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
So that is it for our show for tonight. That's the opening of the Christmas season socks.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It was wonderful to have you guys here for the week. It was better to have you on the show. We had a lot of fun. It's great to see how you guys have developed because I don't get to spend a lot of time together with you guys. And how you and I see so many things in the same dimension. Where when you were younger and I was younger, apparently we were on different planets.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It's a lot of fun. Well, you're my family and I love you guys. And it was just, it was great. It really was. We'll do it again soon. By the way, I also went horseback riding today as a family. Oh, I'll put those videos in the end. I took a few videos.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I'm probably wearing a blanket because I probably have damaged parts of my body. You'll make it.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Give him his space to go figure out what he's really going to do and how it's going to develop for him with her in his life at this time or with her out of his life at this time. And what's better for her, what's better for him from what you see.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
We also got to do Disney this weekend and we brought Donald Duck back with us. So Donald, are you around? Okay, let's go.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Now it's my turn. Because I've been down this road. And, you know, I have to really let you know that it's wonderful that you're circling your love for him. But when the baby starts calling you mom or gets an attachment to you, you have to really make the commitment also that you're going to have a commitment for this child as well. And if you're not ready for that.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
to be really a family, even though that you're going to be a unique family, to say the least. She's going to be always a part of your life, certainly for the first 18 to 22 years, the baby mama. And if you try to break up and you find that he is the only one and he can't stay away from you and you guys are really meant to be, it will happen.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You guys will find yourself falling back for each other and not letting go. There's a lot of dynamic going on right now, especially during the pregnancy. And maybe you want to take a try. since you're not living together anyways, and see if anybody else is out there for you in your life. You've certainly learned more about relationships.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You've learned more about love and you're not afraid of love at this point. And you'll see if the, what I call the screen, the shit detector, that you'll screen out the undesirables, the ones that are not going to fit within your life. And you'll be more attracted to people that would be in your life.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
So it might be an idea just to give him a space and let him see how it develops with him and baby mama and the child and all that stuff. And if someone else comes in your life, that brings more power into your romance.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Well, maybe you need to make one. Either way, even if you go on with your daily life, because you guys do live apart. You're not living in the same town. And so you have some things to work out. And let's not call it that we're in a monogamous relationship. We're open at this point in time. We're certainly friends. We certainly care for one another. We love one another. And
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
We'll see if we prevail through this or not. But we need to really open up our doors, especially with what you're going through with baby mama, all that dynamic living together. So, I mean, you'll see what happens and you'll see where it goes.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
We need to know what happened. You certainly have some seasons ahead of you. I will tell you that. A lot of episodes.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
I don't regret for a second the kids that I have. Not for a second. And the life that I ended up with. But let me tell you, it is certainly a commitment and it does cost you a relationship that might be out there. So you got to make that decision. Is this relationship really the one that's going to work for you? And I would roll right now.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
And if it comes back and it's really meant to be, it's going to happen. You can't stop the universe with that. Okay, let's roll on. Number two.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Hi, everyone. Dad here, Justin. Another episode of Father Knows Something. We're back. I love it when we're back. Once again. We are here. We're back in the chair. It is a wonderful evening. It's quiet. No one here to bug us. Let's go at it.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
I, you know, there's gotta be a way there's, there's expectation and there's accountability. Everything in life, we have expectation and accountability. We expect, we, we have an expectation. You're going to honor the traffic laws. If you don't, you're going to get a ticket. And if you keep going on, you're going to lose your license.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
If you don't go to class, don't pass the test, they're going to fail you out of school. There is an expectation and accountability in everything in life. So I think that if you guys can calmly just sit down and say, we're having a roommate meeting. And next I'm waiting to hear that the boyfriend's living there too. I have no idea.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
But you guys have got to really make sure that everyone is responsible for the person that they are bringing in. And there's no extended stays. And themselves. And themselves. And there's no extended stays for boyfriends because it's hard enough to live with a small apartment with four people. And then all of a sudden you're going to bring in five. It's a slippery slope. Yeah, that's right.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So you guys got to really define because next thing you know, if one guy shows up, Next thing you know, as you're opening the door, that there'll be eight people living there because what makes it right for these two to have their boyfriends stay every night and the rest of them have no room.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So I have no idea what you guys have set out in the beginning, but you got to identify it now, especially before you go on to the next year.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
You're going to have to vote her off the island. You're going to have to have a discussion and say, it's just not working out.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Mm-hmm. You all can leave. If she won't get her back, let's say, go get three new roommates. We're out of here. And you three go find a new place. You're at the end of the year now. You can do that. This is the time to make the move right now.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
If she's in depression, is it our problem to work it out for her?
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
My thing is, you guys have to have expectation and accountability. You guys can all buy into the drama if that's what you want to do. And I understand that your roommates and your sisters and your friends, but I have found that when Morgan even had her roommates... Not all of them were sisters. It was problematic.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
And there was, she was dealing at one time, I think she either had six or eight girls in that room in her first freshman year. It was crazy.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So she was in a giant, she was in this giant disaster zone. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
And some of the girls were great. And then she got, went to the apartment and she still had some, some, some roommates that were real pistols.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
It really is back to accountability and expectation and accountability.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
It's all four of you working together in your living situation. And if you can't do it, you got to get rid of the person that's mucking it up.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
I would definitely say it is really important that you guys identify in the space from the very beginning what you really need for space. Yeah. And that you guys can coordinate what is going to be your space, his space. Make sure that you guys, just on the framework of it, It could be as simple as making sure you have the right toothbrush holder at your sink.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Parents and offspring all worry about each other. That's just reality. You know, I know that when I was young, I had made some decisions in my business career that made me very well off to do whatever I wanted to do. And then later on, I made some decisions that didn't do the same thing. Kind of went backwards.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
And I pretty much realized that my retirement went to pain for my 150 employees and their lifestyle. When I finally closed up the business, I realized very clearly that I'm going to work the rest of my life. And that's what I do. And my retirement was those 150 workers. Sad, but that's the way life rolled. And all you can do is the best you can do.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
And your father is not looking for you to support him. He's He's got a lot. We're dads. We have pride. We figured it out. We've worked it out. We've worked. We created. He still has his engineering ability. He may find something else, another gig that will kick in there where he can utilize the mind that he has and it will help him grow. himself with his own self-worthiness that he does it.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So I would just not worry about it. Let's see what he pulls off. He'll figure it out. He did it all his life. He raised kids. He knows the game.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So let's let him see what he does. I mean, if something happens where he says, you know, I'm ill, I can't work, I can't do this, we have to figure something out, and we've got to find some programs, hey, that's a different story. But he sounds like he's still very vital. He's only a couple years older than me, and I'm still climbing up on ladders and still dying. Drilling holes.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Pulling wires, designing on a computer, doing engineering, going to vendors, buying product, still marketing my product. I mean, I'm still- Calling Australia. Calling Australia to get to find a guy that's gone AWOL. I mean, we know the game. Have faith in him. Don't worry about it. Let him, you worry about you, let him worry about him until he says, I can't do it. I need your help.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
You know, like I said, we've all been in the game. We know what it is.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
It is. I had a great time. I mean, Morgan and Taylor, man, they were full-time on. I had a business. I had employees. I had to get to work at 5.30 in the morning to deal with them to be able to be done by 4 o'clock. And then as I'm walking out the door at 4 o'clock, problems would hold me back to 5 o'clock. I had to pick Morgan up to go take her to gymnastics or whatever. It was a full-blown...
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
a lot of juggling but we do it right and that's just the part of life and that's what makes our life full yeah So you think he'll be all right? Absolutely. Just leave him alone. Let him see. He'll be fine. He'll figure it out. I mean, he's 71. He's still young. I mean, you may think he's old and he's decrepit. Look, we're sore. Our knees hurt, our joints when we don't move.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
But basically, the more you make us move and the more that we have responsibility, the better that our life is and the more full our life is. So leave him alone. Okay. Let's go on to the next one. Rolling down, number five.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
There's little nuances that is really important that you guys take some time, go to Ikea, go to whatever the stores are in your area, and find the things that are going to make your life flow easy. And do it from the beginning. Definitely walk in there. If you see that there's drawers that aren't the way, empty them. Get everything dialed in before you get there.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
We're back onto the same thing, expectation and accountability. And I have been a manager. and a business owner. And it is really important that you always identify beside the expectation and the accountability that you have the right person in the right job that they're capable of it.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So even though you're going to make sure that expectation and accountability is set up, it is also equally important that you make sure that when you put somebody on a PIP,
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
that's the performance improvement plan that it's this sense saying you're at your, we have you on a PIP, you got, you know, four weeks to get yourself engaged or we're going to have to make changes or, yeah, I mean, and, and I, and I'm not really into these performance and these PIP plans. I think that the only should you have where the manager is evaluating the employee is
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
I think you should have upstream evaluations as well, that the employee can evaluate their manager for the senior management to see if they're training them, if they're offering what needs to be done. Because you're now made a manager, I don't know if you're trained to be a manager, if you understand what that involves and how to train the person to be the best at their job.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
not just by saying you're on a performance improvement plan, and then put the fear of God into them. And all of a sudden, some things come in that had nothing to do, all you did was put them on a PIP. You didn't give them any training. And all of a sudden, you know, some things happen and things work well and you're sitting there taking the feather in the cap that you did.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Look how this thing made him improve. It didn't make him improve. He might have been fine before. If he's not fine, you got to go find out what he's doing. So you can help him improve. People want to be successful at a job. They want to enjoy it.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
If he's the wrong person in that job, then yes, you have a responsibility to your business to say, you're not in the right fit for this job and we're going to have to make some changes. And either laterally move him to something else in the company that will help fit, or you're going to have to remove him from the business.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
Because your job is to make sure your business is moving forward and growing. Now, he's either going to be educated in how to do his job because he might be there and no one's trained him. I don't know. You haven't told me you've trained him.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
We don't know how this person has trained this person to do their job. So if you put them on a performance improvement plan, you really, I'm hoping that you are in there watching and being able to share how to do the job appropriately to improve. It's not just putting somebody on these pips. Companies do this consistently. They put them on a pip. And they don't do anything.
Father Knows Something
170: Father Knows: Fair Expectations?
So when you do get there, it goes easy. I know that I've been fortunate enough to have a few times where I have lived with mates. And I know that if I were to consider it, that I would want to make sure that everything is absolutely as smooth as can be, because you are still going to find there are things that are just not going to flow well, that you're going to have to do.
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They give no walkthrough. And sometimes the employee still doesn't get it because no one has actually taken the time to really show it to them.
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Then you have to get rid of the person because they're not inspired. They're never going to reach the goal of the expectation. Again, it's expectation and accountability. What is your expectation of this employee?
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If you have somebody that doesn't have the interest in improving and the interest to do the job, they're there just to draw a paycheck and do the minimum. You probably have an uninspired employee, number one. And if you can't inspire them, you're going to have to find that they're no longer part of your team. They phase themselves out. And I'm not saying that everybody is perfect.
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I think that people generally, for the most part, would love to find the job that they like. It is up to them to do the job. But it's also up to the manager to make sure they have the right person in their job and that they're trained well to do the job and succeed.
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It could be as simple as dishes. I mean, new sets of dishes. I mean, there are certain things that people just wanted to make each other. It's now not his home. It's not your home. It's now our home. And that's really the important thing to get across. And I've also would suggest no matter how small something could be, just discuss it.
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First of all, directness, direct honesty is the best policy. Tell your friends that you can't afford to go out and play their games. I'd love to, but I do have student loans. I have responsibility. I've got to think about the future, and I have no one else providing for me, and I can't afford to do it. I'd love to.
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I have a friend that was very much like this, all self-educated, as far as paying for college. Everything that this person did was on their own and hung out with people that had a lot of money. And this person was actually kind of, before I got to know the person better, sometimes talk behind their back on how cheap the individual might be.
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And I would look at it, and I had clarity when I saw this. I go, this person is being unfairly judged. This is not being over-frugal, which is nothing wrong with that. It's actually being responsible. And the other people had no clue because a lot of their money was given to them through inheritance or whatever, so forth. And it was really, really, really shitty. And I didn't like it.
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Not that I didn't like the person they were making fun of. I didn't like the behavior that these people were doing.
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So it was very frustrating to see how these people treated this individual. And it made me have effectively, I even got bitter to some of the conversationalists on this thing. You got to definitely be very honest with them and say, it's not that I'm being cheap. Not that I don't want to go. I can't afford it. I have loans, I have a job that doesn't pay me enough to do this.
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And I just hope you guys will just get off my back and realize I'd like to do it, but I can't right now. And it's that simple. Also, I think that regarding your loans, I think that there's some advisors, financial advisors that specialize in student loan refinancing and even some of the forgivenesses in some of this stuff.
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I would look into that because some of the stuff you can maybe even get grant money for and get some of the stuff wiped up or at least extend it out with no interest. There's things that can be done. And I don't know what they are. I'm not that clever. I would just look into seeing what you can do to get this thing repackaged and get these people to go away. Yeah.
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And that way you can discharge it and it won't become an infection like a sliver of, you know, under the skin where it's not a big deal now, but all of a sudden there's a bigger deal and they can't talk about the bigger deal. So the little thing It becomes more apparent. Remember, you're just not a boyfriend, girlfriend anymore. You're really living partners. It's the next chapter. It's better.
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No, I'm talking about the finance companies.
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I'm talking about the finance companies to get them off your back either to get it refinanced, get some grant money to pay it down or get it transferred into government, some other type of program. Because obviously you're having problems functioning to live. Yeah. You're not eating. You're not doing the basics. Forget going out.
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You're trying to make your own dinner at home and I hope you have enough to go buy groceries. So there are things out there to help people that are low income because basically you're low income. You're barely making it. So as your friends go, be direct and honest. And it's up to them to accept you for who you are. And if they don't, fuck them. And seriously. Yeah, I know.
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And don't let them abuse you and who you are and what you're trying to do. I get it fully.
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And guess what? They'll end up learning that you don't have to go out and spend money to have a good time. You'll make them better people.
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There's nothing wrong with that. I get it. But if that's the only thing that they understand, to also go to the side where you can entertain each other without getting drunk and without doing all this stuff, it's okay too. There's other ways to have fun.
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That's all. You're going to learn real quick.
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I think if your friends are really friends, we're going to find out very quickly, they're going to work with you. They're going to figure it out. They're going to try to encourage you. But you can't hide behind a mask. You must be totally transparent to what you're really going through. Yeah. And that's what friends do. They're honest.
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They do. Okay. Builds character. They can build some character too. Yeah. Number seven. Let's roll. I've got a really good one for you. Okay. He's got a good one for us, guys.
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It's wonderful. But you guys have to really work hard to keep the place clean. You got to really work hard to make sure that the bed is made. If it gets a little out of hand, it's going to get way out of hand. So that's my suggestion.
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I'm 67. I'm going to be 68 in September. I broke up with somebody, I don't know, was it 16 months ago? Whatever it was. However long it was ago. Yeah. And you meet people. You meet people every day. I don't know if your dad is sitting in his house, not getting out. I don't know what he's doing, but I can tell you one thing.
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If he gets out and he starts exercising, walking, he's engaging with people, he will meet somebody that he'll find interesting and say, do you want to go out and have dinner? I have a friend, my best friend, Jimmy, Uncle Jimmy. He's not interested in going out. He's not interested in meeting anybody. And he's totally fine with that. He doesn't go out. He doesn't work out.
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He doesn't go and investigate to see what's there because he's just not looking. So if your dad is looking, he has an interest, there are social things out there he can go do. He's younger than me. I was going to start going to dance class knowing I'd meet someone there. Yeah. And then I met someone I like hanging with and I said, come to dance class with me.
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All you have to do is open the door that this is what you want. And if you want it, you'll make it so. Because you tried all these different things. I did it all. I gave up on the dating apps. I'm not on any of the apps.
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No, I mean, no. I mean, I met a lot of people going through the dating sites. But I also realized that I was going to just go at it by just meeting people and finding people of interest that I wanted to spend time with or go to a thing I'd like to go do. Right. And I would meet somebody with the same interest at that location. That's right. Because they're interested in that.
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I will guarantee you there are more people out there that are available in his age group than he would ever believe because they're divorcees, there's widows, there's widowers, there's all the above. Yeah. And they're out there and they're lonely. And they're probably not necessarily online. And they're not online necessarily. Yeah. I mean, you can find them, friends, networking.
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You know, I mean, the person that I'm hanging out with now is networking. I mean, it just worked that way.
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It's 66 years old. It's tough to go running every day.
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It is. It's a wild card. I did. I met, look, I fell in love a couple of times online. There's no doubt. You know, some of them worked out. Some didn't. Most, none of them worked out actually.
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In the long run because I didn't marry them. Right. But I had relationships with them. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, and you grew. I grew from them. I learned things that the person that I'm with right now, I am sure I'm a far better person because of those experiences than I am, than I was then. That's right. And because of those experiences.
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But you have to put yourself in the situation, A, that you're attracted, you find someone that you're attracted to. And if you go at it with not the intention of trying to press it, And you just get to know each other as friends. You might be able to find someone that you are attracted to.
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You know what I mean? I work in synagogues. I work in all these different stuff. I meet people all over the place. On the podcast, we were going on national tour. I was meeting people on tour. You meet people on the grocery line. I go on the line. I meet, see somebody on the line. I've never not been open to meeting people. Yeah. And not saying I'm meeting them because I want to sleep with you.
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I'm meeting you to see if I even want to talk to you. Right. And that's probably where you've got to really probably let your dad understand. Meet people to talk to. Yeah. You know, to go walking with, to go play, you know, chess or whatever other games are out there. A group of people that like things. Movie, people that like to watch TV shows.
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We do a movie night on Friday nights or Sunday evenings. Or a book club.
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You guys are a couple that do work together on every aspect of what goes on in that home. You guys are out in the backyard building things. You're doing things. You're really enjoying this time together and it's a growing period and it's a common goal thing. Some people are not fortunate enough to get that and they need to. It's really important not to make it just your responsibility.
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I go to the airport. I meet a guy who likes to fly. He's trying to get time. We're BSing. He's volunteering to go work behind the desk at this FBO because he just wants to hang with people that are flying. He's new to town. We become friends. He – after talking a while, I go, my God, the guy is brilliant as a code writer. He now helps me and works with me on writing code.
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And then the next thing I know, he's into Catan. I'm trying to get you guys hooked up with him and his girlfriend to – So it's not just about meeting someone to go out with them. It's meeting someone to engage your lives to be better and more fulfilled because you meet people that are wonderful people. That's the focus. The rest is a bonus.
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When you find that person that you're hanging out with and all of a sudden you go, you know, I kind of like you. You know, the last person that I've been kind of hanging with, I mean, we've been hanging out, I've known for years, and I finally said, a number of months ago, and I woke up one morning and said, this is a person I really want to spend some time with.
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So tell your dad just to keep an open mind, be conversational with everybody and make friends. He's certainly an expert. He's 66 years old. He's been around for a while. He knows how to meet people. Have faith in him. Just got to get him back out there. Yeah, kick him out the door and lock the door. Say, I'll be back at nine o'clock to let you go to sleep. See what you come up with, Dad.
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There you go. Go meet friends. Yeah. On that note, thanks for joining us. We had a great time and we'll see you next week. Catch you next time. Or the backyard.
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And we'll see you at Patreon tiers one, two, and three. Okay. Good night.
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It's not just a place where you guys can come hang your hat and he can come home and he can go get on the video games and hang out. It's really building this thing together and being a part of each other and all these little things. That's what makes it your home.
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And when you're especially doing things in the same room and you're doing them separately, sometimes you have to be respectful knowing that they might need to hear something and you guys get headsets.
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And so there's things that you can do to be considerate and that's really important. And you're definitely going to have to allow yourself to grow, especially if you have different tastes in things. It doesn't mean that yours is bad or his is bad. It just means you guys may find yourself finding a commonality to meet in the middle to answer both of your needs. It's going to be fun.
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Let us know. Yeah. Okay. We're going to move on to number two. Number two. Number two.
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Well, you know, this is, you said something that it will give you a lot more freedom of him if you, and less anxiety if it was gone. And for that one reason, I think you can send him a note by a certified male. So he signs for it that he got it. And you can let him know that he's got, you know, you can say two weeks, you can say four weeks, leave the date.
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Anything that is here that is yours after this date, please coordinate with me. So for your removal and the stuff will be gone. If it's not gone by this date, it's going to be hauled away. You're going to call 1-800-JUNK and it's gone. And it's not, it seems unfair. But he is being equally unfair, not cleaning it up and letting you have your life back and releasing you. And I get that.
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I've seen, you know, I'm 67. So, I mean, I've been around the block a few times. You got to have freedom. If he doesn't have enough care to come get it, he doesn't have the responsibility or the ability of doing it. He'll either send somebody or it will be gone. It's that simple. You got to shut the door, close it.
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You're not a storage facility. Yeah. I mean, he can take it. If he went to store, it's going to cost him $500 a month. I mean, that's just what these little lockers cost. They're expensive. And I'm glad that you're so gracious and you're spending the money when you can be doing other things with that space, but he's not being considerate of you.
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It'll be worse answer. It's like pulling a Band-Aid off slowly by letting it just pull that hair or just rip it.
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And what happens if you have a pipe that breaks in your basement and all the stuff gets destroyed? And then all of a sudden it's your fault because your pipe broke and he's mad.
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Well, the bottom line is it shouldn't be there.
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It needs to be gone. Two weeks or four weeks you make the decision. It's not are you going to make the call or write the letter and say you have this much time. It's the decision, you want to give them two weeks, you want to give them four weeks. Yeah. And it doesn't go past four weeks. It's not, no way. Okay. Here we go. Number three. Number three. Yes, sir.
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It's almost like when you have a homeowners association, but a mini one. You guys are all part of a small company, a company of four. There's four of them total. And I think that you can say, you know, we are all going to pay so much money. We need to do something to keep this place clean.
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Yeah. And we're going to ask for $25 a week to go into this between the four. It's a hundred bucks a week, 400 bucks a month to bring someone in to help clean the house. That every Friday the house is clean. And she'll say, well, I can't afford that. I'm a student. Well, we can't keep it clean by ourselves. It's not working. So maybe it's Survivor. We vote you off the island.
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hello everybody dad here for father knows something now all of you must know remember who lauren is lauren is trying to change you know change me from being fks to sometimes fkn did you know that no Yeah. She thinks it's funny. What do you guys think? So morning, Justin. Good morning. So just to let you guys know, I should actually show pictures, but my house has been returned back to normal.
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You need to build hours. And the best way to build hours, get in a plane that you can afford to put gas in and fly back and forth and just do whatever you're going to do, but be in the air consistently and get comfortable. And don't fall into the 150-hour thing once you get your ticket at 60 or 70 or 80 hours.
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Don't start doing the stupid stuff where I can get away on a special VFR getting out or I can do this. Really mind what you've learned and not try to think that you know more than what nature will offer you because you will get in trouble. So, and then far as the FAA's issues, look, we have ADS-B today. We have so many new things that keep us to really monitor what's around us.
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And you, again, you're a VFR pilot. If you're in good conditions, you're going to pay attention to your altitudes. You're going to be able to watch what's out in front of you. Your eyes are sharp. You're young. You're going to be fine. And I would just, you know, any way I can get in the air, even if it's going to an FBO and working there and Aviation's wonderful.
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The metaphor here is that we are all palm trees. And we have to learn just to weather the hurricanes and come back to be straight up in the air and blow lightly and easily and just enjoy life. Very good. So there's the metaphor of the day.
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I'm fully supporting whatever you do. It just, you know, you'll figure it out.
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I paid, what did I say, $95.50 for my airplane? Yeah. I flew it for 500 hours. Very minimal cost and maintenance, and I always kept that plane perfect. It was my plane, and I always knew the condition of my plane. When you start getting into these schools, let me tell you, you got to really be aware of the aircraft.
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You just don't know. People don't tell. It's like a rental car. I mean, the first thing they really need to share with you is how to read an aircraft logbook until you know even of all the compliances are done. Get your own plane.
Father Knows Something
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But here's the good news. I sold that plane for $1,850.
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They just go up. Long as they're maintained and long as it's a good airframe, you never have to worry. Your money is just parked. That was exactly the right language you use. It's parking it and it's your money. It's there. It's secured.
Father Knows Something
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And your airport buddies will always say, let's go fly.
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And even if you're flying right seat and you're working the radio, which is your favorite thing, you're a radio guy.
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You love talking to center. You love talking to ground. You love talking to the tower. Look at the smile on this guy's face. He's all into it. So the more experience you get with that, and certainly the most important thing that you really need to know is weather. Just watch videos on weather. That is really an important thing. So I hope this helps you.
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It's by far safer than walking across the street at a crosswalk. It really is. So, you know, you're going to have a good time and I fully support your thoughts and I hope that this helped you a lot. If there's not a lot of stuff in the comments, you can always instant message me and I'll answer you. I promise you.
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I was a dad of two newborns, more Morgan than Taylor at that moment. But I will definitely tell you that it's okay. Just let him be. He's not going to miss really anything in that week. I mean, there's times I would have to go to work for a week. There are dads and moms that have children after three or six months. they go back to work.
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And if they have to go out of town, you know, as long as you got your village behind you, your family, you're fine. And I know that you're just, this is new and you're scared for all the right reasons. Not knowing what's going to go on. And you certainly want them to be there because of just the unknowns. But just relax. It'll be fine. Life is going to continue.
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Well, I want you to know, I saw that last night about an hour after, or maybe it was two hours after you posted. And I was just absolutely, I went to bed really smiling. And I don't know, I started to try to comment, but it came to me on my iPad, not my phone. So I didn't have access correctly to where I can comment. Yeah. But congratulations on your baby. And it makes us so happy.
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Just everyone, as the village comes together, just enjoy the village and give them the chance to participate in all this because it means a lot to them. That's true. That you've counted on and you've invited them to be a part of this. So it's okay. Yeah.
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I'm just glad that he's there to hold your hand as you're going through labor and to be a part of the birth. I know we've had a lot of those. That is really, I mean, the one thing that I got to do is be there for Taylor's birth. And I was there. The doctor took Taylor. He immediately handed him to me. And I got to tell you, I was so emotional at life itself. That moment changed me.
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I wasn't in the room for Morgan. but I was there with Taylor and let me tell you, it was a magical thing. So I'm glad that, you know, some of these guys start traveling during the time of when the baby's going to come and they miss it.
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They are the ones that miss out. Yeah. Because let me tell you, it is the most amazing watching life take its first breath is just blows me away. It's just so magical.
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The fact that he is going to go away for that week and it's far enough down the road, you're going to be fine. This is all out of your own fear of not really what's going to be coming your way. But again, with the village, you're going to be fine. Yeah, it's such an exciting time coming up. It is. Real soon. Two months. I hope that if I had the video up, only if she would want it.
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It was all about going through labor. It's the labor, we'll call it the labor audio.
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They did at the show and they all, every time I have a show and I meet somebody and they say, you really helped me go through labor. My husband's conversation didn't work, but he'd quickly grab the phone. He was playing me the YouTube and that got me through it.
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That's the test where my brain is at. Number four.
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And I know that I've always been wanting to make that audio that we could go through. And I wanted to do an hour audio of just what it is to go through childbirth and to what we get with our kids as they grow from these different stages. because of that one party I crashed when you guys were having the THT show up in Seattle and Portland.
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As I was listening, everything was flashing in my mind. And here's what comes up. You are a parent in that kid's eye. You're the other half of a married couple. Because the kid doesn't understand marriage or not marriage. They understand who their adults are and who is in their life and where they found the security. This child found immense security within you.
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And you developed a wonderful relationship. But what I really think that you need to do for the right advice is you need to talk to a psychologist, a counselor, and have them help you. Because this is nowhere where a kid almost feels like there's a divorce in a way. They are feared that their life is going to become unstable because you are part of the stability in this kid's life.
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And now it's change. And they're worried about their stability and about your love for them. And there's all this other stuff. So all this is really important to appropriately deal with. And you're very astute to see it and to recognize this. But it has to be done right now. I'm not telling you to get rid of your boyfriend at all.
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and I hope that he does come in your life and I hope it's stable because it's, this is life. This is where the, the uncertainties of all this stuff starts forming everyone's opinion on trust and security. I have been in relationships where their child, the early childhood of the person I was with was dramatically affected by By the people that were in their life.
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And it's affected their ability of trust and intimacy. And that's where all this comes from. So you are wise to recognize this, but you need to work with a counselor or somebody that can really give you sound advice. ways of getting through this. I'm not that person. But in my life experiences that tell me that you have flagged the right thing.
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And the fact that you did not bring people in and out of your life for instability was wise. I think it was wise. It doesn't mean I'm right. I mean, maybe it's better the other way. Make them feel that, hey, this is life, how it rolls. And So we just, you need to really get some counseling on this one from someone that really is a professional and hope that they are the right one.
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So you got to listen to the person and then make your own determination. Are they the right advice? Maybe you should seek it from a couple different directions.
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And a few women came up to me and said, you got me through labor, your voice. And I thought to myself, this is something we really need to do. And I really wanted Morgan to be a part of it as well, but we just haven't been able to find the time to sit here. I think the episodes do it too. I just wanted to really do something very special. So we got to really think about doing that. Okay.
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In that kid's mind, she is the secondary parent.
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And, and, and uncle Bob may be the greatest addition to her life. It's, it's a lot's going to depend about uncle Bob. You know, there's, you know, the guy that's going to Bob in.
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How long have they been seeing each other?
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Wow, that was a really good one. Let's go to number five. Number five. Number five.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
This person's brain's locking down as soon as they hit the exam. They know the stuff, but they're going into panic mode. Yes. Something's triggering in there to block it, mind block. When I was listening to the first part, I was thinking study groups, right? But I don't know if the study group is going to help you, even though you're prepared for it. You said, I know the stuff.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I lock up the testing. So that is something that, again, might take some counseling, might take someone to understand what's going on in your mind that's locking you up.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I think that's great advice because I think it breaks down the fear of the test. When the instructor is, when the professor is actually working with you, trying to solve wherever the fear is, it's locking you down.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And you're working together. Because obviously, like I said, you point blank state, I know the stuff. I mean, this is a lockdown. This is a brain freeze.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And if it's because of fear or something else, another programming issue that happened back, whatever, when you were going from elementary school or junior high to high school, maybe that they can help you get through this block and all of a sudden unlock you. You know, when you know your stuff, it becomes simple. And when you're not nervous, but this testing thing is what's got you messed up.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
So make him part of your team to come to the solution. He'll know you know the stuff and maybe he'll help you figure a way through, you know, navigate through this thing in your life, testing.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, sometimes it feels a little like this. Sometimes your tires, if you have enough torque in the back, your tires are going to roar and you're going to get a lot of smoke. But popping the clutch can be fun sometimes, though. And then you got to start over.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
You are the one that the people that are watching this that did not do good in school don't like.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I can't give her a lot of advice because I did not succeed well in school. That's not the way that I learned. I learned differently. And testing like her scared the shit out of me where I just blocked it out because, number one, I didn't even know the material. Where this person has got this and certainly got me is they know the stuff. It's just at the testing part. I never even knew the stuff.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I mean, it was... Yeah. And I have nightmares today sometimes even at my age, back at school, going to a class and just not being prepared.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But you, Morgan... Morgan is my biggest piss off. She... Guys, this girl that you love, let me tell you, her senior year of school, I used to call the school when she was going to show up at the end of the day because she called me at LA. She was living in Minnesota, and she said, Dad, can you call me in sick?
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I'm telling you. And then she has a doctorate. I mean, how do these people do it? We hate people like this.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, that's not what I read. That's not what I heard about four minutes ago.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
By the way, if I slipped and said she or he for some reason, forgive me for that. It's you and it's everybody. We all go through this stuff.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But I will say one thing is that his education, and I'm sure your education, even though you know this stuff, it will be still, you know it. And as life goes through, that's the important thing that you'll be able to reflect upon these lessons. And it won't be a test going through life with it. It's just you are implementing these things.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And as long as they're in your brain, you'll be able to deal with what's really out there in life. And that's the important thing.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I mean, there are people out there that are brainiacs with this stuff that they might tell you the trick they used on how they were able to make it apply. And my ex-brother-in-law had a PhD in chemistry. And he was brilliant. I don't know if he was able to teach people the absolute, to get them through that, you know, those tricks. But I know that they're out there.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
There are people out there that can teach you the tricks on how to really, how they got through it. And they'll say, I'm not that smart, but I had the trick.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Let me just, and again, I'm going to share it and I'm going to pound on this one to make sure everyone knows it. When it's in your head and you've learned it and you know it, even though you may not test well with it, the most important thing is that you can implement it later in your life because it's all there for us to implement in our life. And things later really do.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Just like you said, it all of a sudden came clear and I was able to apply all the wires together. And it doesn't matter what the course is, it's really implementing in life to make sure that it works for you.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And some of the people that I know in my life are brilliant that they've had this education, they've had even the education of life and they've really figured out how to apply it all together. And that to me is just magic. Yeah. So I do applaud you for all that because it's really, because you do apply everything.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
You've applied it all. Morgan applies it every day. You hated me. Now you're applauding me. You're calling me names. It's jealousy is all it is. It's just my own insecurity and jealousy that you... got to do it. And I'm envious of that because when people have that kind of mind, it's really amazing to be in their presence.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And I have been in the presence of great minds and I've learned how to appreciate them. And I do appreciate your mind. Well, I'm no Einstein, but that's very nice. You're right. You're no Einstein, but I still appreciate who you are. Okay. Yes, sir. On to... Oh, we're going to go to number six. Yes. This is it, kids. This is the last hurrah for the night. Hi, all.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
No, we're not going to. That's the whole point. We're not going to pop the clutch. No. We're going to take, you're going to try to go, let your foot off the clutch and go without.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Great one. And, you know, in most ways you're doing exactly the right thing. You're just, when I say the right thing is you're spending time. The most important thing that you can do is obviously 100% honesty. I always said this communication and respect is the first thing that goes out the window your relationship is done. But the fact that you've actually figured out that you miss each other.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
That there's something that you want with one another is a hope. Now, I was in a relationship. I woke up one morning after, but it wasn't just I woke up one morning. I mean, there were things that were going on and I would bring it up and they weren't being heeded. You know, they weren't being listened to. And that was just the nature of that person and their ability of communicating with me.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And it was gone. And in all honesty, from the moment that that was over, I had not experienced what you're experiencing is the missing.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Now there's relationships that I had before that I ended it abruptly because of a behavior. Did I miss them? Horribly. Would there have been hope in that relationship? Possibility. But the answer was is that both people had to be missing each other and want to do this.
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Approach this relationship with your friendship and displaying the fact that when you are together that you are 100% open and honest no matter how... minor or minuscule a thought might be, share it. Anything that goes on in your heart, your feelings, your depth, surface or deep, share them. Any questions, anything that's going on, share them.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Because what happens is all this stuff goes back into building that trust. That's the problem here. He can't trust what's going to happen tomorrow. You definitely ended the relationship. You were certain it was done.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But what was certain is it wasn't that it was done. It was certain that you needed to get away. And this is the way that you had to process what was going to happen next. And again, it's that palm tree. You pulled it back. You pulled it back. You pulled it back so far, he thought literally popped the roots out. It didn't pop the roots. The roots are still there. They're strong roots.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
You have 11 years of these roots. That's true. In that relationship. So I would just continue to build the trust and the friendship. Don't worry about saying that we're back together. Wrong words. Yeah. The words are, we are here forever. I'm spending time with somebody right now. I have no idea where it's going to go. They could be my person. They may not be my person.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But what I do do is say, the one thing that we're going to count on is trust that we are going to be, no matter if you end up with somebody else or I end up with somebody else, I care.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And it's what we're going to, it's not that we may be together or not together, but the most important thing is that we are going to be friendships and we have trust in one another. Because let me tell you, I have trust in this person and this person certainly has trust in me. Now we'll see what happens later as it goes forward. Right. Because it's all about trust.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And let's see what happens organically. And you guys will figure it out.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
He's showing up. I mean, he's certainly at the door. Your guys are there. He's showing up.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
That's all about the honesty and the conversation that both of you have to articulate clearly where you're at, and then you'll figure it out. If everyone is being on the table and honest what we're going through, then you can make the appropriate decisions how to navigate through this thing.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And if you want to go through some additional counseling, if you feel that's necessary, then you guys will implement that. But you'll say together, I think we need to do this. It won't be one of you. It's both of you are going to say this. But if you are opening the communication and you're talking about it all, let's see what happens.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Look, I had a person in the relationship that I ended say, you know, after we were done, let's go to counseling. And I was already done. I had no interest. Like I said, if you're not missing the person at the end of the day, then it's a wrap. But if you are missing them and there's something there, it's a conversation. And that's what you're having right now. You are entertaining being friends.
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I am so excited. Life is good. Tonight I have friends coming over for dinner and have a little party. I'm cooking fish. Dad's going to open the barbecue. You know how you always say we're going to go in the backyard?
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I went to the person that I broke up and I said, we can try being friends. Well, no, I'm not going to be friends. I mean, either you're going to get back with me or not. And I said, that's not the answer. That's not how it works. I mean, obviously, we had some breakdown. And I say, go back to very basics. Hang out. Let's see if we even like each other still.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
See if we can rebuild or see where all this is. And I had an unwilling participant even to be friends. And that's when I said... It isn't going to happen. I mean, forget the past. We need to move forward and see if we can rebuild this by going forward, let alone not even figuring out the past. Because we talked about the past on three or four occasions I brought it up, and it made no change.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
So, oh, well. So you got to monitor and see where you end up. Open honesty is truly the best policy, even if it involves – I may not be turned on by you. I may not, you know, I don't have this feeling.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
At least everyone's able to deal appropriately with what it is so they can either deal with it, fix it, find out what it really is and get to the depth of what a relationship it should look like for each other. Yeah. So there you are. So that's number six. It's done. We're going to invite you to the backyard. We're going to have some Patreons.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And Justin and Morgan are off to New York this evening. Yes. Apparently, they're going to have in Times Square, Morgan in two hot takes is going to be featured in Times Square on the big board. What an amazing thing for everybody. So going to see it, go check it out. So I hope you were with us at our group Chi on Sunday.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I know that I have, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm bringing a friend on that is an amazing person, fun to listen to. And we're going to have a good time. I'm not going to even tell you what the topic is, but.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, I want to make sure it happens. I don't want to even say that it happened because it may not have happened. But we are going to be bringing on my show people that are of interest of different things that are always going to bring a little fun. Not that we don't want to hear everyone's story in person, but we also want to be a little entertaining for you. And that's the way it's going to be.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, I know if anyone can answer this one, it would be you. There's no doubt about it because it appeared that when you were ready to go do the question, you were going every, I mean, we all knew it was going to happen. I think even Morgan knew it was going to happen, but you still had to keep it.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
She didn't know when it was going to happen. And you were concerned that she was going to be upset if you didn't do it in France. And I said, no need to worry. And I already knew she said, it's not going to happen in France. He's got something else up his sleeve. So it's interesting when they know, but it doesn't change the fact when you finally got there.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And this is after calming you down and taking a two-hour drive.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
You're taking it way too far. No, no, no, no, no. I was there. I was fine. I was there. And when you finally really did get yourself all prepared and you had your moment set up, because only you knew what you were really going to do and how you were going to do it. Yeah. It didn't matter. She still came out and she was blown away.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I am going in the backyard. I bought, I think I have a total of like three pounds, four pounds of fish, different fishes that I'm cooking for all these people. It's going to be great. Okay. So I'm excited. So that's it. Life is just nice and easy right now.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
You know, it's interesting. I got engaged once in my life. I asked a woman to marry me. And I think that I'm trying to remember if she knew or didn't know, because I remember I had to go talk to her dad. She said, go talk to my dad. Now, I don't know if this is before or after I actually asked her. But I do remember it was at a restaurant and I did plan it out.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And, you know, I will say this to everybody. You know, when you do it, obviously you want to make sure that whatever, we always like to know that what the answer is going to be before, because we don't want to be left hanging, you know, crashing and burning. And I think that's our, you know, our fear as a guy, we're going to ask her and we're going to get crashed and burned. Yeah.
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162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And I watch all these shows, these reality shows, and sometimes they still go ahead with it. And then they get to the altar and then they crash and burn. It's like, you know, what the hell? But, you know, I think that's our biggest fear is the crash and burn that we want to know the answer before because nobody wants anybody to be uncomfortable with the moment. Right.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But sometimes, you know, God, this is such a – these are just life experiences that you just have to sometimes roll with.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But I can see where you're saying, don't pop the clutch. Let it come out easy. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, it's a life-changing event. I mean, this is the decision how I'm going to walk through my life. And everyone says, well, even though this is really the decision how we're going to walk through our life, it can always end and it can always this or it could always that.
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It's still a life moment that to be, that when all is in place and it really is the right one and that is the person that you want, you can't help but be totally excited that That you're going to take this person's hand and you're saying, yes, let's do this together. And that you love each other and you can't think of anybody else you want to do it with. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
And even though you know it's coming, when it happens and that question is popular, and if the ring is there or not there at that moment, it doesn't matter because it's really what's in here and what's in your heart that gets filled. So I can definitely say that this is truly a great thing and it doesn't matter one way or the other, as long as it happens and
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, we're certainly taking that pause of all the stress. You know, we all do get stressed in our life. Me, I get pounded with it. But it's all how we deal with it and how we can juggle it. One of the purposes of doing this is to bring...
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
That is a happy moment. Yeah, it is. It's a great number one. I just remember how the moment was with you and Morgan. And it was really a special moment, especially for all of us. We were hiding up on a rooftop watching from a balcony. And we were just absolutely tickled pink. And the weather was miserable. It was windy and kind of rainy and didn't matter. No, it was a good time.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
It was a good time. That's right. All right. Let's go to number two.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, I might have one sitting right next to me. That could be one of your angels because mine are four of them. They're always right over there hanging out, watching on.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
more reliable help everyone to get through life at least better because we are always given challenges every day we talk about that palm tree getting pulled back and pulled back and pulled and that thing does not pop out of the ground it just pulls back to it might even hit the ground a few times and slam itself on the ground so you are a palm tree Definitely.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
Well, I don't know if the pilot shortage is going to be over so quickly. That's number one. Number two, you know, I have friends that have definitely gone, you know, their sons have gone to North Dakota to the flight school there. And they've all come out and they've all been great pilots. And I'm not going to bash that concept at all. If you can pull it off and do it.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But don't be discouraged if that isn't the way you become a pilot. You can certainly go to your local airport where you did the Discovery flight. You can do two things. Well, there's actually many ways to get through ground school. I would first, obviously, you need to go get ground school. And I'm not a guy that was able to sit online to listen to the King courses and not pass out.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I mean, I used to, if I couldn't fall asleep at night, I'd put on a video. I'd be out in five minutes. And many people I know said that everyone slept with King's wife because they've all passed out to her or him on the video. It's a common joke. I'm not trying to bash anybody.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
But the answer is you can simply find someone that is a seasoned pilot, that is an instructor, has a double I, and they can give you ground school privately. And you can probably make a deal with them to go to do it. And they'll send you to go study and they'll bring you back and they'll start drilling you. And that is one way that's great. Taking a class, I started by just going to the airport.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I did the Discovery flight. This is back in 1986. And I went to class. And then from class, I started getting into the airplane. And I bought a block of time. And then finally, what I really did is I immediately bought a Cessna. I mean, not that I had money. I didn't. But they were so cheap comparatively at that time.
Father Knows Something
162: Father Knows: Don't Pop The Clutch!
I mean, money has doubled, tripled, quadrupled of a dollar today and a dollar back in 1986. When my airplane was an 81, I was an 86. So it was five years old or thereabouts. I think I paid $9,550 for my airplane. And I flew it for 500 hours. It was slow. But that's what you need. That's what you need to do.
Father Knows Something
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I almost took a bite out of little Gary's head.
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So it sounds like it's Canada. Canada! Canada healthcare.
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Yeah, but apparently it's not the best everywhere either.
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I think you really just have to find out where you can get, you know, the right care. And if one institution isn't working for you, see what your rights are to move on somewhere else, because obviously this is not something you want in your body any longer than they, than it should stay there.
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And I don't know what kind of claims that you have against the other doctors that, you know, didn't say anything, but I mean, I mean, there's, there's,
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All I can say, Morgan, is that it would be wonderful if she can find out what are the implications of waiting every day.
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Hey everybody and welcome to this week's episode and it's uh what is today the 7th tomorrow's the 17th yeah so this is going to be out on like the 18th or the 19th somewhere in there you know plus or minus like a week give or take give or take a day or so so we just want to let you know that we're glad that you're here this is my introductory shot of my new glasses
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I think, I think that she'll, if they can get the MRI schedule the next couple of weeks,
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I think you just work on the most important thing right now is your health. Absolutely. It's like when you're on the plane, they say, you know, we've lost cabin pressure. Put on the mask.
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Put on your mask and just breathe in and breathe out. And let's just see if we can land this plane and see what we can do next.
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I think when you tell people that you are scared and we don't know what's going on, can you help me? This is a serious enough thing to have found inside your head that anyone can understand we want to get it out of there or deal with it. Morgan, let's move on to number three.
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The fact that they have gotten through the last two years and maybe not gotten through the situation because obviously Sophie doesn't even know of it or maybe she does.
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But they're not airing their laundry to you. So I don't know why you have to even be a part of this at this point in time. It's two years past.
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You know, I just don't think that it's your business to go tell Sophie at this point in time what's going on. If you were friends with Sophie at that moment and it happened and you were, you know, you Then I could see there'd be something that you knew that you'd say, you know, this dog is really doing shit, but I don't know if I would raise any, anything about it today.
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He pulled, he pulls this shit in front of you again. You know, you can point blank say, I see you're doing this and this isn't, you're not doing this to my girl. Yeah, and this is... Either you tell her or I'm going to tell her.
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I got a question for you. I'm going to stop you for one moment.
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If I may. I mean, the fact that she is unaware of anything, why does she even want to know the information?
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I mean, right now, it's past. It's old news. Is it, though? It is old news right now. She doesn't know anything different.
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He could very well cheat again. I know. But the bottom line is that the information that she... First of all, she's going to her boyfriend in confidence and she's working him over to go find that information.
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Even drunk and slept together is- It's not great either way. That's not permissible.
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Would you go to Jake and say, Jake, I know you did this?
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Wait a minute. The boyfriend put screws to her saying she's not allowed to talk.
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So she can go to the boyfriend and say, you can go fix this then.
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That's probably the play that I think that would be the right play. She can certainly go to him and make him disclose to the friend saying, either you tell her, if she doesn't know, you better go tell her.
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I think the play really here is that she goes back to her boyfriend, make him go to Jake and come clean, or he'll go to the girlfriend or something different.
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Well, I've always felt that if someone doesn't sign their name to it, it's not worth the paper it's written on.
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No, but I did like the fact that if the boyfriend put the screws to her, that she puts the screws back to the boyfriend, fix it.
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It's his obligation now to go get everything clean. Leave her out of it. But she doesn't want to hang out with someone that has bad integrity.
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I remember there was a show, I think it was Murray Popovich or something like that. Oh, no, it was also Jerry Springer did this. Jerry Springer would bring them all on the show.
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Great guy. Very cool. Okay, let's move on. All right, let's go to number four.
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It would certainly be nice if you could get a hold of your dad and say, and she's done this. I need help. I'm struggling. I'm trying to get through nursing school. I'm trying to make something of myself. You made it very clear that you have all this money.
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And I'm not saying I'm entitled to it, but it would really be wonderful if you're wishing to help me, give me a loan or do something that I can be able to live and exist.
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I got it. I got it. What do you do? You limit your ability of depending upon them. That's it. You can't depend upon him. He's not a participant to assist you, so you can't look at him for that. If you want to disown him, that's your decision. Yeah. I mean, he might think that this is great parenting, that this is to make it hard for you and make you drive and to make you stronger.
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But it may not be the right answer for you. And this is where you get to make your, you know, where expectations and accountabilities come into effect. You know, you would really like if he would have been kind enough to say, I'll help you. I mean, that's what, you know, typically we do as fathers. You know, even if it's a struggle, we try to do it.
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Well, certainly alter your relationship. That's really, with the fact that you can count on him, you can't.
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He's not worried about you. You're worried about him.
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First of all, the polyamorous relationships are out of my pay grade.
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And that being said, what's the end game for you? And the end game is meaning if you're going to have a relationship where you're going to have both men in your life on a long term, then it's okay to introduce people to your family. But if this guy is a temporary gig and you're going to introduce him to the family because he's part of your life, He's not a long, he may not be a long-term player.
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So, you know, you got to also think about the, you know, how does this affect the family dynamic? And especially if your dad is not, you know, um, really in on this life choice, then it may not be the most wise thing to do because you're bringing people in to be friendships. And then if you break up with the guy, what happens to the friendships that you've done with your family?
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So what is the commitment here between all these people?
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Or, and, and is this fellow that you're now seeing going to be your 40 year partner sitting on the side of your husband? Why he's your, your husband?
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So does the father get to have a choice before he meets the person where you go to your dad and say, Dad, I want you to know that I have an unusual relationship with Dave, right? We got married young. We've explored this. We are in a polyamorous relationship. He's got a girlfriend that we're still living together. But Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, he's with Betty.
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And I'm with Henry Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. And we don't know if this is going to be a long for the rest of our lives or for another 20 weeks.
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I mean... And then give your dad the opportunity of saying, I'm okay. I'm glad to bring him in and I'll be a part of this relationship. But I'd give him that heads up first.
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We got some enmeshment here. Well, let's, should we take one thing at a time? Let's take the cat. Let's get rid of the cat. It's too easy. You know, I'm not a cat person. I love cats. However, we've had cats.
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The one thing that we pride here and when I talk to people is I don't have any judgment upon you.
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So I'm not judging you by saying, you know, anything other than the fact that I think it would just give your dad the right. If you're willing to go bring the fella in front of your dad, just do it in a step. The first step is let him know that it's coming his way and if he's open to it or not. And you can just tell them exactly what you said. Dad, you're important to me. I love you.
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And I want you to be a part of every part of my life.
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And I don't want to hide something. And I'm hoping it won't be judgmental upon me. But this is what's going on.
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We had sweethearts. What was the, we had another cat other than, oh, I got.
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Smokey. And I had my mom, I got my mom that cat, whatever that, that beast. Toto or whatever she called it. Toki. Toki. Toki. So, you know, I get where Aaron's coming from, especially, you know, like we had Holly for 17 years. We lost Holly, you know, last year. And I thought I would go back and replace Holly pretty quick.
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Well, it's the highest compliment that she could possibly give you. She's trying to live your life.
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So, I mean, I thought you could set her up for, you know, put some things out there that aren't really going to happen, but let her trick herself into going to do them just for fun. But maybe rather than tease somebody, just point blank confront them. Yeah. Say, you know, what is the deal? I mean, it's okay if you want to do that, but is there a reason for it?
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And maybe she'll fuss up to it and say, you know, it's just, I just love the fact that you have such a great life or you're so this or and see what comes out. Rather than playing the game, I always believe in a direct confrontation, but make it a nice one.
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But I think there's a reason. What's wrong with this having the direct conversation with her?
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As you do it, you can't do it where she's put up, where she's embarrassed by it. You have to really do it where you're just trying to understand it and that you're her friend. And, you know, let's see if she comes clean. And if she doesn't come clean, then set her up and tell her that you want to go fishing tomorrow and see if you find her at the fishing boat and you're not there.
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And I just said, you know, new carpeting, cleaning my house, no more animals. I've been there, done that. Now, I understand that he's such a part of your life, this little kitty. And he's seven years old. And... You know, I don't know what Aaron can do to... And some people will say, you know, decline the cat is cruel. It is.
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This is something that when you are committed or you believe that this is something that you want to do, you can't give up. But what you can do is you can get the hell out of Texas. That's where it is. I mean, there are places that you can go that you're not going to have these difficulties of living in these judgments.
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So look, I understand the need that when you look at your body that you want to have everything in place.
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In the meantime, you also can't give up on what your dream is and you'll get there, but you have to keep struggling a little harder. Some people's dream is to be a doctor. Some people's dream is, your dream is to be yourself. So don't give up on that dream. Just work every day to make the dream real and you'll get there.
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The world's been fucked up for thousands of years. I mean, imagine, like, think about ancient Rome and... Go back in world history and you'll see it's been a problem for thousands and thousands of years.
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Focus on your life. Focus on yourself. Focus on your friends. Yeah. And that's what you have to do. And everything else will come because the people, even though you're having a tough time accepting what you look like and your body looks like, your friends are only going to see you. And the biggest enemy you have right now is yourself. So make friends with yourself.
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And if you are finding hostility where you live, pick yourself up, pack your bags and move somewhere else.
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It's cruel to the animal. Yeah, they don't really do that anymore. And if it's an outside cat or an inside cat, if that makes a difference. You know, but this is a personal thing that you can't go to Aaron and say, Aaron, mirror the cat.
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When you're having thoughts, Morgan, if you want to be alive and or move. Take, take, take, take me. Do whatever it takes to move.
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Well, guys, that's it for this weekend for us. Yeah.
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Dad's had a long, long day. He didn't sleep well last night.
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Yeah, and we're going to have a friend of dad's come on Group T as well. And she's going to have some fun things to tell people. So this is a surprise. So if you want to have a fun time on Group T, come join us. It's going to be a fun one.
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I feel pretty good. I like them. I can actually see a little better. So everyone, make your comments.
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So we're going to back off and say we don't have an answer for you?
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What happens if they find another home for the cat?
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But what happens if that's not a compromise? We find another owner for the cat.
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Wait, wait, wait. Why is it a shitty way? You find a wonderful home for the cat. The cat will be able to have run of a house.
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Let's see if my thoughts change, if my vision has gotten better. Let's see how much sharper my... Oh, I see what you're saying. You're following me now.
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That is correct. And that's something that you have to decide. Is it this cat or is there going to be more cats in your life? And that's what that, excuse me, if that's something you want to reserve the right for, then dude's got to go.
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Yeah, well, you know, I get it. I mean, look, I may want to be with the person.
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I don't, I mean, you're trying to, you're trying to make it possible to keep the cat. And I think that you both have to agree on a solution that works for both of you. And that's up to you guys. And you're going to have to really weigh out your options. But if you want to have a life together, you guys are going to have to work through or navigate through decisions like this to make them work.
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And that's really, it's not about the cat. It's about navigating the crossroad. And can we get through this? Can we agree on it? Can we, you know, can you become friends with the cat? I don't know if he can. But can you live without them? I don't know if you can, if you want to. So you guys are going to really have to come up to say, how are we going to make this work?
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Both of these things are important to me. You're important to me. Our relationships are important to me. But having an animal in my life is always going to be important to me.
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I'm going to give this an extra 10 seconds and then I'm going to move on to number two. But this is really where you guys get to really sit down and say, what is it worth to us to really have this issue? Can we work through it or not? Because I'm not willing to give up the cat. So-
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Well, let's see what they work out. But you obviously have to talk it over with one another and truly come to a meeting of the minds, which some people hate when I say it. But you, there is compromise. And if you can't do it.
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And if you guys can't, if you can't live without the cat and you can live without him, then that's an easy answer. If you can live with him and, and live without the cat, you know, you guys will work it out.
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But this is something that you, the two of you really do have, have to take these, these difficult decisions and, and work with them because in your life, there's going to be a lot of difficult choices, right? There is going to be crossroads and you have to be able to work through them or otherwise no relationship will survive if you can't work through them.
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Well, I dumped the girl. I dumped the day. That was it. I don't get rid of my kids.
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I mean, health, getting health services. I mean, there's advocates out there that sometimes, you know, they work with patients to try to make sure that the medical institution is really following up with their obligations are. So I would go back to your medical institution and go back and see if... If there's an advocate for you and also what the patient bill of rights are.
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Well, and also, I mean, maybe there's other health institutions you can switch.
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So let's see where we roll and then you'll post the name.
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You want to take this one in the beginning?
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and I didn't do very well. I got, ha ha, you can't see, you're not invited. I got all kinds of stuff.
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I always thought that when you sleep with somebody, that you call them your partner. You know, that's what you're really trying to get when you're in a relationship, a partner. And I think a partner is supposed to kind of be, you know, pick up the balance, respect you, work with you, listen to, you know, what their partner views and try to get along.
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You know, you've certainly, I think to myself, well, Tash, you had the conversation. Well, you've had beyond the conversation. You've actually been crying and screaming at him saying, leave me alone.
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So, you know, he's obviously not hearing you. It goes back to that same statement we used a couple weeks ago, hearing. really digesting what you're saying. And it's not getting into his mind where he's willing to respect what your wishes are or even care that you need this. And that's your problem. And so, Morgan, I think you're 100% right. You had the conversation.
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I think you have to really make a point by saying, you know something, I think it's time that I sleep on my own in my own place. Yeah, we're done. And you're just not getting it.
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Yeah, but he's playing his video games, then he comes to bed and wants to hump. I mean, and let me go see what I can do to wake her up. I mean, come on. There's no romance here. There's no love. There's no care. There's no intimacy. This is just about service.
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I'll say it this way. It's not a relationship that I want. Is it a relationship that you're looking forward to? Hell no.
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And I think she realizes the problem. Now you just got to react to it.
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Well, that's one way to do it, by getting rid of them.
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I mean, you got to weigh it out. Is everything he offers worth this misery?
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And read the comments. There's going to be a lot of them on this one.
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I definitely think that you have to take an action that's going to really mean something, and that's changing the locks and saying, I need to sleep. Go hang out at your buddy's house, and I'm going to sleep the night, and you want to show back up. But this isn't working for me.
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It's simply not healthy for me. That's the biggest thing.
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Well, apparently, I mean, you also had your wing girl with you, Ms. Lauren. And it would have been nice that if Lauren could have just taken a picture, you know, from afar, blurry, anything that I could have seen my daughter having some fun. But meanwhile, that got wiped out. Then you come to L.A. And by the way, her mom missed the event because she was ill.
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You know, everything that you're talking about certainly resonates with me. I was 25 and maybe even a little younger at the time. And my first girlfriend, who I was madly in love with. There's no doubt about there was a love and a passion that I had for this woman that was amazing. She was my first girlfriend and... I really thought that we'd be ultimate destinations.
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And all of a sudden I hit an age and I started looking and I started wondering as the grass is greener on the other side and dynamics changed in my life. Now, did she do anything wrong? No, she was absolutely in all reality. She was the sweetest, most giving woman that I've ever been out with. She was wonderful.
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And I thought to myself, if we would have got married back at that time, would we have made it? Probably not. It would have been a rough, rough road because there was no way that I believed at that time I could have fidelity with her.
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So because I knew I was looking and I was yearning for this other experience or experiences, I was at least straight where I said, something's going on and evidently we're not the right people. And so, you know, I've always heard right person, right, you know, right place, right time. And it wasn't the right person, right place, right time at that time. So the equation didn't work.
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Later on in life, you've heard me talk about her saying, I probably should have married her or maybe today.
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But it goes back to that same thing. So, you know, look, I really do believe right person, right place, right time. And this is obviously a problem for you. So I think that you have to look at the experience and bring it up and say, look, I understand and respect your desire. And maybe we just need to part. And you take the departure and you roll forward. And who knows?
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She flies out to LA. You guys are having a great, you know, we see each other for brunch for your birthday. And next thing I know is they said, you know, I hear, will you come to, you know, the next fitting? And I thought, yeah, not really. I think I'm just going to let you guys do your thing. And then I said, yeah, I'll come by.
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I mean, I went to an evening last night, Morgan, at Andy's for a birthday party. And there was a couple there that were probably in their 70s or 80s. you know, mid-70s, maybe even approaching 80. And they have been together now for 20 years is their wedding anniversary. So it means they got married again about at, you know, 60, 55 or 60. Turned out they were first married at 20.
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They were together for 10 years and they got divorced. And they found themselves back together. It happens. Yeah, it does. You know, I'm not telling you that this is going to happen with you and him. You know, when this woman came, you know, certainly I went out with her. We hung out at the age, I think, at 40 or 50 for a day.
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You know, I came into town and said, hey, let's go for a motorcycle ride. But it wasn't even, that was a chance to probably pull it to get back together with her when we, you know, 25 years later. But I blew it.
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I want to finish this before I lose it. Today, if you ask me, did I make a mistake? No.
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I'm with somebody that I get in the beginnings of meeting someone, of liking them. And I go, what a wonderful opportunity this door number three is.
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And I go, maybe this is the person. You know, you start taking all these life experiences and you, what's the theme? What do we call it?
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Failing up. And you do find that there is that person that you have so many different, you know, your screen is saying, that doesn't work for me. This works for me. This person sees things the way. This person is, you know, is much, you know, process is different than the other person process. And all of a sudden things start working out.
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And next thing I hear is, no, you're just invited to three people only. And I go, go figure.
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So you're not making a mistake by moving on, especially when you recognize the problem and he's actually, he's telling you.
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Now, did he tell you that after the first date?
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Because that would have scared the shit out of you.
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And you're using the word take a break. I'm using the word, it's like catch and release. Release. And if it comes back to you, great.
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Hello, everybody. And here we are for another wonderful episode with Miss Morgan.
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It seems like we have a lot of these relationships in these stories that we just keep saying.
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I'm with you. A year ago, I was thinking to myself, I was in a relationship and I was really processing the relationship going forward, going to the future. And I said to myself, I give advice and thoughts to people that write in. I'm going to listen to my, I'm going to be my own write-in. So I did write into myself, played it in my head. Oh, I was like, did we read it on the show? No, we did not.
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And I made a decision instantly saying it is time to move on. And I immediately, you know, came, I don't know if I was out of town, but I came back. I remember we had a conversation and I really just said, I, we, we, this is not going to work. I am not your person. And I will tell you that from the moment that happened and I released, I did not miss this person at all or that relationship.
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And that told me something. That told me that the decision that I had made was the right decision. And I went on. Now, it didn't mean I started dating immediately because I didn't. I probably went, I don't know, seven months, six months before I even thought about it. Maybe it was longer. The bottom line is that make the determination and be honest with yourself and be honest with the person.
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Because at the end of the day, if it's meant to be, you'll find your way back. I'm not finding my way back because I made the right choice. And after some time and made sure that my head was clear on everybody that was from my past. Because let me tell you, there was some muck in my brain. And I got rid of all the muck.
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And that allowed me to go forward healthy. So that's what my recommendation to everybody is. Make sure you get rid of all the muck.
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Forget the past and move forward, basically. It's like when you break up with somebody. If you can be friends, but don't be anywhere that's going to be suggestively intimate. Everything that he is displaying is not to have you as his intimate partner. He's looking at, you know, right now you guys are, you know, Hey, I'm available. You're available. Do you want to do it? And is it okay?
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What's the name of the show, by the way?
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You know, you're the benefit thing. And if that's what you want, be friends and benefit, then call it out to him saying, are we just going to be friends with benefits or are we going to be, and then you've got to be able to deal with that because you don't, you don't really care, but if you really care, it's not going to work. It's going to be that imbalance wheel. And that's the problem. And,
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And what did father always say to you when it came to this thing?
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Set yourself free. Go find the person that's really going to be your intimate partner and really want you because you'll find it. You're, you're open to it. Your, your window is wide open, but just, you got to close it to this, to these feelings.
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So you may even have to give yourself some time to get over the, you know, the attraction side, but you're not going to close that window to him until you really don't see him and be away. So you got to really close that, that part of your life off for a, for a period of time until you're healed.
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Father said, pause, just, you know, think about it and come back. He said, no, I'm done. I bought it. I go.
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someone that's going to be able to articulate it clearly where their intentions are and make no bones about it and no wonderment. Because let me tell you, when I like somebody, I am very direct. At this point in time, I spell it right out. There's no mistake what my intentions are and where I want to go with it. And if I'm not sure where I want to go with it, I'll say, my intention is this.
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Welcome back. I mean, you have gone like AWOL.
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I don't know where it's going to go. I don't know where I want to go, but I'd like to get to know you better. I mean, I'll use these choice words so that we understand where we're coming from and there's no misunderstanding. And that's what you want. You want that directness.
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It goes back to square one. Always be directly honest. And even down to the littlest detail, be honest with whoever you're going to have as your partner. That way there's no miscommunication.
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So here's what's going to happen, girls and boys out there. She's going to use this beautiful dress. We're going to vacuum seal it in nitrogen.
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I'm glad you have your values. I hear your values, I feel your values, and I share your values. Doesn't that make you feel home when you hear that?
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If you don't get that at home, then you need to go find the partner that you feel that you have the same meeting of the minds. Mm-hmm. And look, I have friends that are married and one side is left, the other side is right. And they're able to make humor out of it. But I can't.
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I mean, you guys are obviously not in a place of meeting of the minds. No. And that is really important. Remember, I'll never forget the conversation. I've mentioned this before in my grandmother conversation. That happened in 1986. And she said, I don't care what you marry, who you marry, religion, race, sexuality, none of the above.
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The only thing that I really hope that you find is a meeting of the minds.
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We're going to put it away when you're done. Sounds technical. And maybe one of your children or grandchildren one day will get more.
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This is the root value of who they are and how they're going to even see you and treat you.
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Right. So this goes back to the thing. You use the word political views. I look at this as life rules, life views, and who we respect as a people. That's more than political. That becomes the core of who we are.
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Definitely an heirloom. That's the way we're going to play this one. And then we're going to start the show. We're going to really get into this. But I really have to say, a year ago, I went back east to Anna. She was getting married, and she was putting wedding dresses on. And the wedding dress she came downstairs in was her mother's wedding dress.
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And if you at the core and your mate are not at the core same values, you're headed for a disaster.
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I have friends that have different political views than me, but that's great. But I don't live with them. And, you know, do I think that they're as passionate about, you know, having a safe home for their kids and grandkids? Yeah, I believe they're passionate. Do I believe in the way they want to achieve it? No.
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But that's, some of their cores are, we might say they're good people, but some of these people are just, we're not aligned in our values, right? And you, but when you're married to somebody and you're, you're making love with them and you're going to bed and waking up in the morning, you want to feel you're safe with the person you're with, that you are aligned.
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And I have to tell you, she was beautiful. So that was a little experience. Sometimes it pays to put these things away, vacuum them up, pack them in nitrogen. Nitrogen does not hurt anything. Oxygen does. So there you go. Yeah. So on that note, we're going to kick off the show. Thanks for hearing us out for what's been going on in our lives.
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You know, the fact that you're living on, it seems like you're living right now on the edge. When is the ball going to drop again? And the biggest thing that you said that really resonates in me, I'm not happy. And if you're not happy, you need to really go find happiness.
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160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
Two episodes ago is like five years ago. They're probably recorded forever. She's been on the road.
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We'd like to hear a little bit more what's going on in yours. So kick it off, Morgan. Tell me, what do they got going?
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For years. I mean, he's the one that was afraid of her leaving because that was his support mechanism. You were able to handle it. You are already trained. You already have all the tools to walk out that door.
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And by the way, she's got three kids. She's got kids. She's got kids with him. So he's going to start playing. He is. You are going to.
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Probably I would anticipate he is going to start using these kids as weapons. He's going to weaponize the kids.
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Why am I feared that there's worse is yet to come?
Father Knows Something
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That is a well-packed show. We had a lot today.
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Failure is a way of developing us and making us stronger and bringing, I call it seasoning. I don't call it failure. So I call it seasoning the steak, seasoning the fish.
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It certainly is going to ring a lot of bells within a lot of us that we've been through some of these circumstances where we had to grow.
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Do you remember when we were at Disneyland and that woman came up to me and said, can I hug you? And I said, absolutely. And why do you want to hug me? And then she told me.
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That is exactly why we do. We have had as a community the ability of changing each other's lives and helping one another just by talking about these things and sharing.
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You know, I went on with my life because of the show. And listening to what I, you know, talked to you about and said, listen to yourself.
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And it changed my direction. So, you know, we all help one another.
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It makes us really better. It brings color to us. It makes us full.
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We really do. And so thank you for being a part of our lives and giving us this, you know, valid message reinforcement.
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Now, to all of you that have watched the last, what, four years of the show, three years of the show? Three. Okay. You've all seen me wear these blue glasses that apparently are goofy.
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I am letting you know that that is the last time you're going to see these glasses because we got new ones. New glasses came. I don't like that. Yeah, we're going to have- Is your prescription worse? No, we actually got rid of the prescription. I had changed, but I actually changed the frames to some whole new look. So say goodbye to these and we got new ones coming.
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We all move on. We all make choices and decisions. Love you all.
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That's what you do. You share with your friends.
Father Knows Something
160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
Can we introduce little Yeri? Let's roll on. Let's roll on.
Father Knows Something
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She gets up in the morning with a spear and goes out and goes wedding dress hunting. So welcome back with your cat.
Father Knows Something
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Hold on a second. But she married her partner a year ago. Okay, keep going.
Father Knows Something
160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
So there's a respect issue here that is very serious. And I always say that no matter what you have in a relationship, no matter how small of a problem it is, you got to voice it. And you're not voicing it enough or he is not hearing you.
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160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
Well, give me, let me. You can go there.
Father Knows Something
160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
Well, let me finish my thought, okay? Because the first thing you want to do is find out how you got here. And she got here because things became so complacent. And it really happened before they got married.
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Okay? So she went through the marriage anyways. And... She's here. So now the question is, do you want to try to save the marriage? Then you really full bore have to come forward and say, I have issues. I'm not attracted to you anymore. And I believe it's because I don't feel you respect me. There's a loss of respect here that's causing me now to have these feelings or a lack of feelings.
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So if we're not going to really make a change in who we are as people to try to save that and bring it back, then let's call it a day. You know, I mean, look, you're in a relationship. I'm kind of in a new kind of a relationship. And, you know, we take care of each other. We try to make sure that, you know, whatever it is, you don't have to ask for something.
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You're there for it before they even ask. And that's the way you should have a relationship. You shouldn't have to ask for it. They should recognize the need before you even ask and be there to pitch that ball to you. And when you have that, then you have something that you're not going to think about somebody else to have fun with.
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You're not going to think about, can this person satisfy that need? This door is wide open. And the only way you're going to get that door closed is if this person fills that gap. And if they don't fill the gap, then you have only one direction. That is to go separately. To fail upwards. Yeah.
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Is she as guilty as he is right now because she's not coming forward with the issue and she's been complacent with it?
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That's the conversation. But I would rather be antagonistic with it or...
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I would say that you do it just in matter of fact, not to make them defensive or you being offensive, but the point being on an equal ground saying, this is just, wouldn't you think? And I'm feeling the result. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm looking. And I don't want to be looking. But I'm telling you.
Father Knows Something
160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
Well, the door is evidently open in my brain.
Father Knows Something
160: Father Knows: Failing Upwards..
So this was on a Sunday afternoon at five o'clock. And meanwhile, I go look and I'm texting, and I'm trying to FaceTime her to go see what she's got on and who's there.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I would stay awake as long as I could so I wouldn't die. Yeah.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I just want to say one thing that I'm going to add to this. The daughter didn't do it to her. She did it to herself. The daughter only had one option to do. That's to say, this is not me. And go get the person that did it. And that's as simple as it is. It's a black and white deal. It's not even a question to me in my mind.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And then I realized this is not a good plan. So I was going to do one last night that was going to be five milligrams.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
First time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Now I got to have a little fun with Lauren.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You're really scaring the shit out of me. You're marrying your sibling.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
He did give us, he gave me downers as well. He gave me the whole bridge.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Sisters. Sisters. Sisters. All you could really be is sisters.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
No, no, I gave you the... A different pack? I gave you Sativas.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I am. I congratulate you because I have gone most of my life the way that you're going right now. And it's wonderful to feel the highs as well as the lows and the struggles. It develops you to be a better person, gives you the full value of experiencing life. And anesthetizing yourself through life is no way to live life. It's not real.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I'm really glad you're taking this moment or time or this pause that you can determine which way you really want to live. And I think that you will find at the end of the day, you're going to have some struggles. There's no doubt we all get struggles, but you find that you can take those challenges, you can face them and you can get through them. And you say, wow, I got through that.
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And I learned from it. Because every day that I have a day of struggle, trust me, I learned something. And if I was anesthetized all the way through it, I wouldn't get to have the experience.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I got the chatty Cathy's over here. The sisters.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And here's the way I call it. You are growing, my friend. And your friends are still sitting back there in that cave and they're not growing.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So my answer to you is continue to grow, find new friends, and you're going to really blossom.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
i don't know otherwise i don't really know why that happens so often but you're right you know what i've noticed with you girls that you guys don't drink the way you used to drink 31 on the day i don't want those hangovers anymore so i would say that these my my little girls over here have grown we're all growing in more ways than one i'm not pregnant someone's gonna be like what
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So we can reach out to our friend Kurt and say, your shit works, man.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I think, and remember, I'm not your aunt. I'm not in her head. But what I can think as a logical thing is that putting myself in this place, I only bought the dress if I was the uncle, only for my niece, is only for the fact that I thought it was going to make her happy. And am I passionate about that dress? No, I am passionate about my...
Father Knows Something
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my niece or my nephew, that they're happy that I was there for them. So I think that you approach it with the thing, I'm sure that you did this only for my happiness. And I pulled the trigger. I made a mistake. The only thing I'd never made a mistake about is loving you. That is a thing that I've never made a mistake. And I love you and I'm not trying to hurt you.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So if you guys want to know about our friend Kurt, write us and I'll tell you where to find him.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I just was overreactive in the moment doing this thing. And I found a dress I think I like more. Please don't be upset with me. I love you. But I have to go make a choice. I have to make a change.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I think what she should really do is just take this segment and just let her aunt hear it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
move forward with that well she might she also may you know have a little bit of money and she might say you know something we'll sell the the first dress and let me buy the second dress that'd be really great and then she still wins you sell the first dress
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So let's imagine, I mean, it depends if she really went to the aunt and tried, you know, phase one. But if she never tries phase one, she knows that her aunt isn't going to be the person to respond that way, then she lets her aunt know that, you know, I'm so glad you got this dress for me because I bought this one before and I just have it as a backup.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And while you're at the wedding, somebody comes and dumps wine all over your dress.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Now there's catastrophe and you're bawling, you're crying and your aunt says, no, no, no, don't worry, honey. You got that backup dress. Let's get it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I always use that expression. It's like, don't hesitate. Just do it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So when you go to these stores, you went to the first one.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Pressure was on. It was. They're trained to close.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So do you have any advice for these people not to let them push them, not to let them close? Oh my gosh. And to give you the opportunity to give them some advice how not to make that, not that they shouldn't find a dress they like there, but don't let them manipulate them.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I just wanted to bring, cause I know that was an experience you went through. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
We know your dad was not involved at all. We know your dad called and said, can I just see her? Can someone show me a video? Yeah. I mean.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Okay. Well, bottom line, guys. Don't let them pressure you. That's where we're... Forget about dad right now. The idea was no pressure. Don't let anyone bully you. Okay.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
We are having fun here. Lauren, it's wonderful having you on with us. We're having a good time.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I'm going to kick this off just because I'm going to pass it along because father only knows something but nothing about girl friendships. That's a whole different rule. So rather than step into that mud pie, I'm going to let you guys begin.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Well, you know what happens when, when, You guys are smart. There's no doubt about it. Thank you. You're brilliant. You're fast. You process.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
The one thing that the old man gets just by pure age is wisdom. And the wisdom tells me you're having friendships that have expectation. And if you would have a little less expectation on what you want them to perform like, rather than just accept their friendship as they give it, you will not be hurt. And eventually she would have got around to it.
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And yeah, she's probably mortified and possibly mortified that she didn't call you first, especially when you called her and said, why did you not tell me? The answer is, this is exactly what you really thought in the beginning. It was such an exciting moment. She didn't, she was the, she was a puppy bouncing off the wall.
Father Knows Something
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Not knowing what to do first. She found out she's pregnant. And let me tell you, everyone is there. There's a line of people that are there and yeah, you have four children. You definitely have put yourself in a place that your kids have been your priority.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
It's not the fact that you're not important. It's not the fact that she loves anybody more than you. Look, this isn't a race who I love more.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I have friendship. And one of my best friends got married, you know, 40 years ago, 30, 30 some years ago. Yeah. And he had a lifelong friend that was his best man. And when I heard he was going to have his best, this other guy's his best man, I thought to myself, wow. And I said, what the hell are you thinking, Jerry?
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
He's been friends of this guy since they were seven years old, breaking into bars.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I mean, there's a whole different lifestyle there. Yeah, we're friends every day now for the past two or three or five years, whatever it would be, but you're his friend. Don't take something from him. Don't try to put something that isn't real there. We're all friends.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And because he's a friend of that person and maybe you never socialized with him because it's a different time and place, go back to your life. You have friends that you've had your life since you were five years old. You've talked to them once every five years. And yeah, if something big is going to happen in your life, you're going to call them and say, hey, be a part of this. I get it.
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163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And we are best friends. And I now go from being best friends, we are true friends. And true friends have no value number. It's a binary thing. It's zero one. They either are your true friend or they're not your true friend. And that to me is a higher level than a best friend, a true friend.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Well, I just wanted to announce this morning I told you I went to the temple.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I didn't tell you that I got married this morning.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I wanted you to find out from me rather than find out from social media.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
It's the holiest day of the year. This is the day to do it. It's my least favorite day.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Expectation. You're living your life with expectation.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I would say if you go in with no expectation, you will be pleasantly surprised with something that will come up. But when you sit there with the expectation, that vibe is out there, and sometimes it never comes through.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yeah, she is. She's going on maternity leave. So she's gone for about three to six months.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
It's really interesting because when you look at the newspapers and you see these features on people, and how do those people get featured? Their press agent or themselves set it up. It's not because the news really found them.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Somebody called the news and said, we got a story for you.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Come on down and listen to it. So a lot of it is driven that way.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
But we're going to go back to square one. My friendships come without expectation. The only expectations that I have of a friend is that they do their best to support me.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
But that is an expectation that I have. It's not that they have to do anything for me. But they have to have faith in me and they have to realize that I'm doing the best I can and to support. If I ask them for something and I ask for support, be my friend.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
We don't know what the work environment is. This place is, this place could be a, could be a hell hole and that people really don't socialize. There really isn't friendships or that they're just these worker bees. You just don't know what the dynamic is at that company and what has been, you know, culturized there. I mean, I had a business, I had a, you know, 150 people,
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And I made a big deal about everybody. That was the culture there. That if something was going to happen, I wanted everyone to feel like family. Now, I'm not saying that I was right with that culture. What?
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So maybe they just don't like her. think it's time to find a new fucking job like lauren said you know let the baby come and it might quit it might be they don't appreciate you or they haven't got to know you i don't yeah you know we don't know all the dynamics that goes on with these people
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
When people are in a place of work or a place of other people, a community we'll say, and you are giving and you go out and you are friendly and you are all the above, typically with those friendships, it cultivates that harmony that if you're going to go do something or something's going to happen in your life, they're going to react.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
If you are in an environment where there really isn't interaction and there is really not this camaraderie and there really isn't that friendship, you may have not developed the relationships there that they do want to reach out to you.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And, and I've definitely have lived these in different jobs that I've had and environments that I've been a part of. So you just, you know, that's when I say, if you don't have an expectation, then you won't be disappointed with the, with the behavior of these people that I go to work.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
This is a workplace and yes, our workplace really is such more than a workplace for a lot of those are our daytime families. It's just, I just don't know what, what you've developed there.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
My feeling on this thing is go on and enjoy what's coming your way with your family, your child. Yeah. And not worry about all this other stuff. It really is. There's a no win here. And look, they may surprise you when you least expect it. And I love that word, least expect it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Then that goes down to my, that word expectation.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So don't expect it. Let's just let it play out.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Yes, we had a great show. Great having Lauren here.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Well, regarding living with the family, when you're with somebody as a couple, it's you and that person. And I understand the family is part of the dynamic, but you certainly have a 50% vote in the way you want to live. And when you're with your partner, you guys have to decide together what's good for both of you. And if it's not good for you, then it isn't good for both of you.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
He's going to have to, you know, come around a little bit to understand what your reasoning is. And your reasoning is not wrong as far as once you're married, you really do want to live in your own lifestyle with him and not with the four-wheel drive car, meaning that everyone's driving somewhere and the wheels are turning every different direction. So this could be a deal breaker.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Could be a deal breaker. So I think you really just need to see if he's willing to identify the two of you as the priority and your lifestyles and learning to fly on your own than to worry that mom is going to do our laundry. Mom is going to make our dinner. Mom is going to scrub the floor in front of our feet. That's not really what you're looking for.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So I'm going to, typically I like to move right into our stories because I find that I talk too much, but I have to share this with you as well. I thought about doing a gummy last night.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Well, she started the whole conversation by saying, we're online, that women's rights and equality and all this other stuff. Is he really a believer in all this? Is his culture really going to allow him to be free of all that nonsense and say, hey, I'm willing to do the laundry and... You know, when I'm with somebody, I do the laundry with them. I do it or they do it. I mean, it's equal.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I mean, I'm the first one to go there and grab it and say, you know, I'll let the washer run while we're doing other things, while we go on a walk.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You know, so it's got to be 100% equal. And it's not only equal in the chores, it's equal in these decision makings. You guys got to definitely make sure you're on the same planet on your lifestyle.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
So about three weeks ago, I tried one of Kurt's. He gave me 25 milligrams that I cut in half, so it's 12 and a half.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Okay. So as dad's advice, my answer is make sure this is the lifestyle that you want. Expect the worst and you might get lucky and get the best. But if the worst doesn't work for you, You need to really decide now that this may not be the right one. And remember, culture is such an important thing for so many people.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
And I believe in sticking within your culture sometimes because it makes it less unacceptable for going against your grain. Make sure your grain can really accept this fully and jumping in with both feet. To me, I couldn't do it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You definitely need to think this thing through and say, this is what I want. And if it is, bless your heart, go for it.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
If it's not what you want, you need to take some action.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Well, guys, look who has popped in today. We have a special guest. Her name is Lauren.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Now, remember this. Lauren wants to rename me to FKN.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
You know, they don't hit for like an hour or two. For me, it takes forever before it hits. And so I'm falling asleep and it hits. And it's like, if I don't stay awake and breathe, I know I'm going to die.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
Make your decision right now. Don't wait, do it. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200, but make that choice right now. So step right up. Come.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
That was really coming in there, wasn't it?
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
I think that you did exactly the correct thing. And that's how you continue a relationship with her. You let her know that it's against the law and you're not going to stand for it. And, you know, giving any acceptance to this, it opens that door that she will continue to do it. And she says, oh, it's okay with her. When she gets her hand slapped, I'm sorry, you have to treat her like a child.
Father Knows Something
163: Father Knows: Don't Pass Go!
But when you say, sorry, mom, can't do that. I mean, that is just, that is unacceptable. And that defines that line. And she will not make that mistake again because she'll say, shit, she'll put me in jail.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
I was hitchhiking on Rio Del Mar Boulevard, and Manuelita picked me up, and I believe Anita was in the car, too.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Anita said, no, don't even think of stopping for this guy. And Manuelita said, he's cute. And that's how I met your mom.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Huge. A Lincoln Continental. I mean, it was like a Star Wars machine, you know. The front of it went by, and then five minutes later, the rear of it went by. It was the huge, biggest car in the world. Manuelita, smallest person in the world.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
I said, she's a cutie.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Of course.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
I didn't know what I was getting into.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
She was very self-confident.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Well, you know your mom. She's nothing if not self-confident. Yeah. She's smart. Yeah, she's really smart. Really smart.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Same. It hasn't changed. Rio Del Mar and right by that bridge, you know, the bridge on Rio Del Mar Boulevard. The one by, like... The little bridge that goes across that little ravine there.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Yeah, right there, uh-huh.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
They invited me over to dinner. Manuelita did. So I went over to dinner.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Very much against this.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Either that or Manuelita asked us both out. I think Manuelita asked us both out. She said, when are you coming to take her out? Something like that.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
I said, oh, I don't know, tomorrow? She goes, okay.
This American Life
850: If You Want to Destroy My Sweater, Hold This Thread as I Walk Away
Rio de Mar and right by that bridge. The little bridge that goes across that little ravine.
Two Hot Takes
193: Genuinely Self-Absorbed?..
So Dad is dyslexic. I do Audible books because I can truly digest it, and I don't get lost by inserting words, switching words, and fighting it. And for me, I get it. It works.