Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Our first caller was blocked by her brother’s pregnant ex, but wants to get back in contact. Our second caller’s boyfriend wants to go back on dating apps to sell insurance. And, our third caller regrets breaking up with her stoner boyfriend. “Maybe you are going after people that aren’t good partners for you.” Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff every Monday starting October 21st! Available wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 https://open.spotify.com/show/4NWA8LBk15l2u5tNQqDcOO?si=c03a23d537f94735 Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to [email protected] to be a part of our Monday episodes. To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to [email protected] with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: FirstLeaf - Make every cozy night in special with wines from Firstleaf that you know you’ll love. Go to https://www.TryFirstleaf.com/viall to sign up and you’ll get your first SIX handpicked bottles for just $44.95. Article - Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/viall and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. BetterHelp - Find comfort this December, with BetterHelp. Visit https://www.BetterHelp.com/viall today to get 10% off your first month. Skylight Frame - As a special limited-time offer for our listeners, get $20 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to https://www.SkylightFrame.com/FILES OUAI - Go to https://www.TheOUAI.com for 20% off sitewide from November 26 to December 2 when you enter promo code VIALLFILES. Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @justinkaphillips @dereklanerussell
Chapter 1: What should I do if my brother's ex blocked me?
You know what's funny is there are pictures of us together where I'm cropped out.
You're cropped out. Listen, again, my point stands. You're trying to reason with insanity. And you're not going to get what you want from this guy by debating or discussing this. Because even if he is being legit with you, it's still crazy behavior. And you don't have to put up with it. And you are.
I think that's like what I needed is like reality check and some like tough love that like, no, you're not crazy for thinking that this is crazy. Because like I said, the way that he explains it to me, it's it like it's so unbelievable that it sounds believable.
This is not the type of behavior someone who's seriously excited about a future with someone would do because they would understand and empathize with your position, the emotional distress that be putting you through. And he is either not giving a shit about how this is affecting you, what he's asking you to accept or put up with.
I don't care what you guys have said to each other in terms of I feel like I've known you forever. But like you clearly got you guys do not have the type of rapport to give him that type of trust. And he's asking you to trust something that's truly unbelievable. And this is not going to make or break his business. There's plenty of ways to network.
And that's what he posted me is like, what else should I try? Like what else? He says he's done that, but it can't be linked to his, his boss's business. It has to be just him. Like he had an excuse for that when I asked him like, what about LinkedIn or what about Reddit? And he was like, well, it can't be tied to my boss's business. It has to be just, what does that mean? I don't know.
I don't know either. It doesn't matter. Again, I don't think you should reason with this guy. I think you should be like, listen, I want you to be successful, but if you're asking me to be okay with you on dating apps, then I don't want to be in a relationship. It's that simple. I really don't care what the reason is. There's other ways to do your job.
You can say what you want about me, but I'm just not comfortable with my boyfriend being on dating apps. You're literally matching with my friends. My friends see you on there. I'm just not doing this. But you have to be willing to walk away.
yeah and that's like probably what would happen because i don't think that he would stop which is like that's like the hard part about it is like i feel like it's like high risk like why what what do you what is so different about this guy that you know when you say he's the first person i've liked in so long yeah what makes him so what makes him what would you like about him you can't find with other right like up until a few months ago it's like it's
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Chapter 3: What are the implications of being a potential father?
I smoke weed. I think people know that. I've been trying to cut back drastically. I'm currently on a no weed weekdays. I'm allowing myself to do it on the weekend. I am not someone who's ever abused substance and I like to be in control but the reality is is that I didn't start until I was an adult but I do suffer from anxiety. It's been a challenge. Again, I don't love that I'm on it.
And I'm sure I would be willing to bet that he probably doesn't like that he's reliant on it either. I'm guessing. Right. Is that do you think that's fair?
It never seemed to bother him after I broke up with him over it. Now he's saying that he realizes he has a dependency on it and he's like trying to just quit because he. You know, like, he was happy with me and he wishes he hadn't let this, like, ruin our relationship. I don't know. At the time, it seemed like he didn't care, like, that he was doing it all the time.
So... And by the way, do you drink alcohol?
Yes.
How much?
Oh, God. We fought about it all the time because, I mean, I... Didn't drink every day, but maybe like four or five times a week.
Four or five times a week? Damn.
Well, like a beer, you know, like once he started the whole like not smoking during the week, just on the weekends thing. I just started drinking on the weekends because I felt like that was like a fair compromise. So I've been drinking less, but we would fight about it a lot. Be like, well, what's the difference between me smoking and you drinking? But I just I didn't want to drink.
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