Listener (Aaron)
Appearances
48 Hours
Homicide in Spokane
Just one little piece of information could make the difference. Do you know anything about Darla Sue Scott?
48 Hours
Homicide in Spokane
You can't fault the police. They probably have so many different leads to investigate. I would be real comfortable if some of these clues had been followed up on. That is not good police work.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Live shows, live shows, live shows, baby. The boys are about to hit the road for that Back on the Block tour, so grab the squad and come on out and see us.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Buddy, let me tell you, it's dark and hell is hot. So we, that, those were always, I mean, we were mean, bad kids, but we would just be fucking, not to their face, but we'd be having fun at their expense.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Giggling a little bit, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Having fun at their expense. And I remember that, and they didn't, I mean, we'd roll in 50, 60 deep. You know what I mean? Like a biker gang in the 80s going, take a bar over. Knocking over tomato stands. Yeah, just fucking, I want 10%. You know what I mean? I'm your new partner. These fat kids got a reputation of coming in and busting up a buffet. Not today. They picked the wrong buffet.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's all right. Let's talk about ExpressVPN, baby. You ain't lying, dog. Let me tell you this. Going online without ExpressVPN is like not closing the door when you use the bathroom. Next thing you know, you got everybody in the bar looking at your little stinger. It gives random creeps a chance to fucking take a looky-loo. So, gang, do yourself a favor when you're surfing the web.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Keep the prying eyes of the feds and whoever the hell else might be looking at you. Sure, guys.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Off your search history. That's about the extent of the big man's cyber knowledge. I know what's going on. ExpressVPN reroutes 100% of your traffic through secure encrypted servers so your ISP can't be seen. Woo! I can't see your browsing history. Girl on girl. It hides your IPS address, which I've learned as we travel this great country of ours, certain states have certain rules.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
My ExpressVPN kicked in pretty too sweet if you catch my drift. It's rated number one. It works on all devices. It's easy to use.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Your Mormon laws have nothing to do with my libido.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I need to crank this out. Emphasis on beto. Protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com slash garbage. That's expressvpn, E-X-P-R-E-S-S, vpn.com slash garbage to find out how you can get up to four extra months for free. Expressvpn.com slash garbage. Kip, let's talk about Bilt Rewards, baby.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
All that bonus content.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And then last but not least. Talk to me. The Back on the Block Tour fall and winter tour dates are on sale right now at RUGarbage.com.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Oh, shout out to them. Attention all you renters out there. I am one of them. I am not just a spokesman. I'm also a client. If you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earn your favorite airline miles and points through Bilt just by paying your rent on time. Let me explain. Explain it, big guy. I'm gonna, dickhead. Give me a second. What are you, the cops?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Anyway, I apologize, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Homeowner over here. If you're renting, that's your biggest expense of the month. You could go out to dinner, throw a couple hundred, get some points, get a little bit of miles. Why aren't you using your biggest expense to earn points and miles? What are you doing? With Bilt, you get to do that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'm with it, Daddy-O. We're talking points. We're talking miles, baby. I know. There's no cost to joining just by paying your rent. You unlock flexible points that can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, or your next Lyft ride. A future rent payment. And more. When you pay your rent through Bilt, you unlock two powerful benefits.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
First, you earn one of the industry's most valuable points on rent every month. No matter where you live, who your landlord is, your rent now works for you. Second, you gain access to... to exclusive neighborhood benefits in your city.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Built's neighborhood benefits are things like extra points on dining out, complimentary post-workout shakes, free mats or towels at your favorite fitness studios, and unique experiences that only Built members can access. And you'll be ready to travel. Built rewards can be converted to your favorite miles and hotel points around the world, meaning your rent can literally take you places.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Coming to the Metropolitan in Philadelphia.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
There you go. So you're not just earning points on rent. My question is, what are you waiting for? Start paying... Rent through Built and take advantage of neighborhood benefits by going to joinbuilt.com slash garbage. That's joinbuilt, J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash garbage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
The boys are coming all over the place. I'm talking San Fran. They don't like calling it San Fran. It's SFI here. San Francisco. I'm going San Francisco. We're doing Portland. We're doing Seattle. We're doing Richmond. Sure. Raleigh. Sure. Yeah. The other one, Charlotte, Baltimore, Boston, Philly, Boston, New Hampshire, Toronto, Toronto, Rochester.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Make sure to use the URL. As you know, they sent us.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
God damn it. Joinbuilt.com slash garbage to sign up. What's a fitness studio? But that was good. We always hit a Wawa in the morning for the snacks. Yeah, the lunch was always, you got a better lunch that day usually. Well, you could always bring. Even if you bagged your lunch.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You could always, yeah, you could always bring or like they always, a lot of, I think they had to provide some sort of, that's like what the money went to. Like, oh, we'll do pizzas or, you know, you get a cheeseburger at the whatever. Yeah. That was always all right. We were always snack guys.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
But if your parents made your lunch, that was always a better lunch than regular days. That's the day that you got the hoagie. Sure. You got to get a hoagie. Get a turkey shorty over at the Wawa. Uh-huh. Lettuce, tomato, oregano, mayo, bush cheese, turkey.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
A little kid ordering an oregano just seems weird to me, dude. A little oregano on that? Can you run that through the garden for me? A little more balsamic.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You didn't do oil and vinegar when you were a kid? I didn't do that until my mid-30s, dude. Oil and vinegar, hot sweet peppers.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
What a black and mild kicker at the end. I get three stuffed peppers and you're like, what the fuck? Uh, no. Not doing long hots in second grade. Little moussaka. No wonder why your GI tract is all torn up. Been eating shards of glass. Little Barrett's esophagus never hurt anybody. Actually, it did. But all right, let's see. So the homies all sent in their stories and or questions.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Regarding field trips slash school trips. Okay. And as you guys know, when you join the old Patreon over there, we will read your question.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Get to do fun stuff like this.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, fun stuff with the boys. This one's from Foley's Chest X-Ray. Came back good. Five years ago, $10 shareholder, went to Beta Club Nationals. See what Beta Club is. Went to Beta Club Nationals in sixth grade, ended up staying in a casino hotel, cheapest rooms available, and watched a teacher lose his mind after losing six grand playing blackjack. He just kept saying, don't ever gamble, kids.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's got to be. That's not happening now. There's too many guardrails and checks and balances up. That was just the guy. Talk about the school of rock. Uh-huh. You know that teacher was looking forward to that. He's like, I'll do it. I'll sign up. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'll take the kids to the lucky horseshoe casino or whatever. The beta club's got to be some type of debate club or science club or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Okay, there you go. I remember that's... I remember we had, and this might have been junior high, future business leaders of America. I was like, who the fuck has the balls? Now look at you. I know. And the one kid that was in it, he died of heroin in a motel. So, joke's on you. We made fun of him a lot. I do apologize.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Was this in high school he died in a hotel room?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Maybe right after high school. No shit. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. There's a CEO that had that going for him. Terrible. He looked like Elton John and we used to call him Benny and the Jets.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, dude, that's like... That's a lot of money. That's a lot of cash, dude. That's like... Damn. That's tough. All right, let's see here. This one's from Foley's Hair, Kippy's Forehead. $14.50 Canadian homie on the board. Never had one read. In fourth grade, my class went splunking in a tourist trap cave. What? That seems... Why? In what grade? Fourth. Get the fuck. Spelunky?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
But this says tourist trap. This is more like, you know how we used to climb through the heart at the. Yeah. That's what this can't be. They're not like. That's got stalactite stalagmite written all over it. Yeah. Which you know what it is? Stalagmite. I don't. Don't roll your eyes at me. You don't know what it is?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Kids are all over the map. Can't wait to get back out there, gang. Grab your tickets, areyougarbage.com. You're not the prettiest girl to dance, you know? What? I don't know what that means.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'm not off the top of my head. Stalagmite has to hold tight to the ceiling and stalagmite might reach the ceiling. Okay. Stalagmite's on the floor. Stalagmite's on the roof. You might be a jerk off. Rolling your eyes at me. Dumbass. You're a smart guy. You don't know much. I'm a future business leader of America. Do you know who drug whom around what? Who? You never heard that before? No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
The Harvard thing. Who drug whom around what? Achilles drug Hector around the city of Troy. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
More of a needle man. All right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't get it that pure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
In fourth grade, my class went splunking in a tourist trap cave. After we were having lunch waiting for the buses, I started throwing baseball-sized rocks off the suspension bridge into the river below. This got the class hyped, and everyone joined. Dude, it just takes a couple of kids in a new place just to go, what can we fuck up? Who's not watching me? And everyone joined in the rock tossing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Teachers quickly shut this down, so I went down to the river below next. I woke up in a pile of blood with half my front tooth missing. Apparently one kid wasn't done throwing rocks down from above. The look on my classmates' faces as I climbed back up the steep bank covered in blood, snot, and tears. And the panic of my teacher as he ran for a makeshift first aid kit.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Was about an hour car ride to the hospital, three trips to the dentist resulting in a root canal and a fake front tooth. It's always been a couple of shades darker since. P.S. I got $8,500 for it when I turned 18. Money was gone within three months, spending on everything but a tooth. I mean. Who wrote that? Stephen King?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And what are you doing at a dance? You're 50, you weirdo.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's pretty fucking good.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah. That's what we're looking for. That kid was forever affected by a simple school field trip. The tooth is shade darker. Seen plenty of them in my day. A couple of family members with that. That's, man, that is so what.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's a field trip right there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Fourth grade, you're 10. You're 9 to 11. It's all right. You're just hucking rocks off a bridge. Nothing's better. Yeah. I thought you'd catch one in the chin. I mean, that guy went into a landing zone. Just think of how bad.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Fucking creepo. But you will do weird sex stuff if the car is nice enough. Is that what you've heard about me? Is that my iTunes reviews? I do a lot for a dinner at Red Lobster.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You never do that. Think of how panicked those teachers must have been. What do you do? The lawsuit, the this, the that, the oh, my God. I would have fucking killed him and threw him off the bridge.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
My sister's a teacher, and she would do, like, the ski. She'd take them skiing. She took them to different countries, the language clubs, all that. And I'm going, you're fucking crazy. Skiing? Every ski, she'd take them to, like, Spain and India. Not India, but I don't know. Indian casino reservation. Lost six grand. Yeah, but I'm like, I wouldn't take any kids anywhere.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, I don't want to be involved in that. There was always too much. There's too much that could go wrong for you as a teacher. You know what I mean? Yeah, if a kid gets in the head with a rock. Yeah, that's the least of your problems. Somebody gets pregnant or something like that, who the fuck knows what happens? Two kids boning somewhere?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I mean, I think that was going to happen. I mean, if two kids are going to bone on a fucking splunking field trip, they're going to have at it wherever they are. There ain't nothing you can do to stop it. Did you ever hook up in school? In school? Yeah, like on school grounds? No. At that point, everything was so... This wasn't like... Did you have cameras? Yeah. You did? In high school, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No shit. Yeah, I mean, you got to think at this point. Oh, dude, we went to a new high school. That's right. It was a new facility. I mean, that was like, there was cops. There was like, we grew up watching the 80s, like the fucking Zack Morrises who were like floating around doing whatever. We were in like a jail, essentially. Yeah, you were. Clear backpacks and fucking.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Things that started happening already that were like, you know, doors locked. Just post Columbine. Yeah, I was fucking six when Columbine happened.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Damn. Ten? What year? I don't know. It was 99, I believe. I was in my 20s.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
So we went to the Edgar Allan Poe house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You've been scrolling on?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
All right. Speaking of New York, all right, this is from Wyatt Peter, the Heater Fiender. $10 debt collector, never had one read. Our school went to New York City on a band trip and walked down a road that our band leader said, quote, unquote, reeked of shrimp and cum. The fucked up part was that it wasn't a teacher saying it, but he was spot on with the description.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, that's right. Okay. Let's get into the heart of the matter here today. We're here for a little family episode, a little themed episode, which the kids have been loving. They've been cooking up the charts out there. Sure. This one we're going all the way back.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
there's got to be more overs. You can't be saying that in front of kids. Can I say this, and this isn't just because of American Pie, but when you look back on the band kids... They actually... Freaky deaky? Freaky deaky.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah? Yeah. If I could go back and do it all again, I would have done that shit. Got in the band, got in the theater, all that kind of stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You know? Wait off the bread.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Sure. School needed me at the time, though. You know what I mean? What? They needed me out there on that line. Oh. They needed you. Like when Captain America didn't come back in the end of...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Just to get straight, you're equating yourself to Captain America? I was zoned out for a second, just to make sure.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It would have been nice, you know what I mean? Do the plays, the chicks, all that stuff. Band was probably fun. I'd be a little smelly, though. Ay carumba. A lot of clearasil back then. A lot of greasy kids. But, you know, I wouldn't be able to sit there and watch the football games, though, in the stands with the playing the trumpet or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, I'd have to be on the field. I'd have to be down there just doing it, saving the day.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I didn't say any of that. You said it like you were a cop who was sitting by watching a crime happen. I couldn't just sit there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'm just saying in another life that would have been fun. I couldn't sit there with my mouth closed. I had to stand up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Who are you, Mark Wahlberg? Maybe I would have been better in school. You know what I mean? Nope. That wouldn't have happened. You don't think? No. If I wasn't, you know, out there on the line doing it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Which I have to, you know, I got a little self-aware here. What's that? I don't know, the past month or so, we put together a run of guests that was unmatched. Shout out to all the boys. I had to call Joe Hollywood to get some of them guys in here. I was calling in every favor I got. Still got a couple coming up, though. Uh-huh.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No more school themes. Why? Because you just talk about football.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It was 48 years ago. I was talking about wrestling. Oh, sorry. The other sport you were mediocre at. Did you go to state? Did you win states?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, I went to states, though.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Don't work the... I don't know. Your estate. I got two congressmen. Sonny Bono.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, you also. I mean, I was also like, I could have been in the band. I could have just stopped there. But then you had to go back to... But sitting in them stands come Friday night, the lights on, no way. But in the winter and shit, it would have been fun. You watch the team lose through halftime, and then you're like, I can't do it no more.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You take your tube off because you were playing the tuba, and you know it. And I would have done the drum.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And they'd be like, Henry, Henry, no, we need you. We need you for the halftime show. I could have done both. I can't let my team down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I could have done both. You run in, the coach goes, what took you so long?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Like you're fucking Shane Falco or something. Hold my reed. Shane Fatso. All right. Okay. I'm a buffoon.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
This is a question I have for you because I don't think-
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
My door's always open to you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I never liked church and state mingling. What does that mean? Was Patty or your dad ever a chaperone? No. No. No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, no, no, no. My mom was worried. Actually, I think I'm wrong. Maybe Patty was once. I feel like I always did maybe once. There was always... My dad never. The way that stuff was is there were parents that were good with that. That was always the same ones. Sure. I don't know. Just an example. Mrs. Jackson. She was good with all the kids. All the kids knew her. That kid could operate...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
well in front of his mom and everybody else. He could kind of be himself.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It was normalized for people. It would have not been me and my mom or definitely not my dad. I wouldn't have been able to be myself. We would have been acting in a play. We would have been two different people. You know what I mean? Hello, mother. Oh, mother, can I go? Meanwhile, I'm going through her purse looking for heaters.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, I wouldn't want her to see what I was really like. That's telling. Bad kid, bad seed.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah. She was working anyway. Yes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uh-huh. Same. My mom was never, like, the class mom or the whatever. When we had to bring the orange slices in the juice box, I was like, hey, drop them off and fucking, you know, hit the high road.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
My dad came to the high school once. I mean, they were always at, you know... My mom did a lot for, like, you know, the football, like, my senior, junior, and senior year. Like, you know, she was, like, she had, like, the... The night before the games. He'd blow the coach to get you playing time. You know, he was supposed to play the tuba. I play the skin flute.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's my goddamn mother, you son of a bitch. For the audio listener, he said that. Patty, you hear this shit? She'll come up here and kick your fucking ass. She's about to get that knee brace off.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
God, watch out. The one that she picked up at CVS, that thing ain't by a doctor.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Do we? I think so. Who do you got? Don't we? Cher coming in? Uh-huh. Do you believe in love after love? You see Cher from back in the 70s when she did the Sonny and Cher show?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
She would do all that kind of stuff, and she was very involved in the car washes and all that stuff. Bikini? Bikini? Working at the car wash.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You little fuckers want to make some money?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
She's got a heater going. Rubbing her tits on somebody's windshield. Hurry up. I'm running out of suds. I take Venmo, Cash App, and Zelle. This is recent. This is a couple weeks ago. Oh, man. If you were on vacation now with your mom. No. Nope. If you were on vacation with her now, like, say, or whatever you guys are going down with.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
How did you guys pick? I pictured that the shot was from inside the car. Oh, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Suts it up with her titties. But if you went on vacation with your mom now to like a beach or something like that, and she walked out in a two-piece, would you say something? Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'd tell her to get her fucking floozy ass back upstairs. I'd make her be a Muslim or something. Swimming in a burqa? No way. Go get a hoodie, you hussy. What about you, Luke? Would you be okay with that? How about a two-piece? Freak out. Oh, man. Don't cry.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
The only time they ever really entered the school was my dad for some reason. It was like career day or something like that. I can't remember what the circumstances were, but it was him and Lieutenant Commander Dave Payne. They rolled into their dress whites. Uh-huh. It looked like fucking Maverick and Iceman rolling through the hallways. They're doing that slow walk through the hall.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
They turned the corner real sharp. Present! Present!
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That was, I mean, hot. Dude, that might as well have been me looking at people from the 1300s. That was so far back to me. Because at that point, the fashion was so different. The quality of the video was so different. He was dead by the time. Free love, baby. Yeah, I was like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
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My fat ass kid. Flipping an M16. They got guns on them. You guys are recruiters. What are you doing? Yeah, he was telling a couple tales about Nam. Straightened a couple of kids out. Some guy's dad's in there as an accountant.
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LT Payne's talking about fucking hanging in the jungle. I don't know what it would take for my dad to be a chaperone. I genuinely... We'd have to be going to, like, a steam fitter convention or something that he was already working at. He would meet us there. It'd be late. There's no, like... Nothing. No, my mom maybe at a young age.
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Did he ever do anything? Did he like coach baseball or Little League?
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Coach baseball, yeah. He had to stop. There was these two, I told you, there was these two big-ass twins that were bad as fuck. My dad was like, I'll beat them up, and you told the dad, these kids are fucking, these kids were bad kids.
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But this was post-divorce.
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Yeah. So he was still involved in shit like that.
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Oh, he always will. Yeah. All like recreational stuff he was involved in. But like sit with the school. He's like going to school. No way. Yeah. Was not his cup of tea.
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The show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You ain't lying. Gang, as you know, Uncle Hank and Aunt Kippy are very big proponents of talk therapy. Do yourself a favor. If you're struggling with something, something big, something from your childhood that's not really just sitting right with you and you don't really feel like yourself. Do yourself a favor. Get over to BetterHelp because they can help.
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Also, too, if it's just something small, if you just need to start bouncing stuff off of people just to get a little bit of, you know what I mean, just to talk things out, BetterHelp can also help with that. It doesn't have to be some tragic thing. Your whole life doesn't have to be falling apart.
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Nobody in this room. And listen, mental health awareness is growing. Back in my day when I started, I couldn't even tell my dad. He'd call me a lady. They gave you a bottle of Southern Comfort. That's not the case anymore. There's still progress to be made, obviously.
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26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey said they have avoided seeking mental health due to fear of judgment, which is wrong, baby. Get out there and scream it from the rooftops. And it's expensive. We better help you.
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You're getting it on the cheap.
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BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Easily switch therapist at any time, no extra cost. We're all better with help, and BetterHelp helps. Visit BetterHelp.com slash garbage to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it.
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Smoking doobies, taking lewds.
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But this is from Pooh Radley. That's a deep cut. My head is. You know what that's from? Excuse me? Boo Radley. What's that from?
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I first knew her as the guy. What? No, she was married to the guy who died skiing. Sonny Bono.
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To Kill a Mockingbird? Whoa! Look at you. Written by? Good friends with Truman Capote. Harper Lee.
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Harper Lee. There you go. Yeah. My dad chaperoned my third grade field trip up to DC from Fredericksburg to preface. He was born and raised in Alexandria, Virginia. Our driver got off the interstate near DC and immediately started panicking in front of all the 10 year olds. He got lost and he was pissed off.
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My dad gets up, walks to the front of the bus, stands next to the bus driver, and proceeds to navigate the driver through the city to our destination. Not only was he giving them navigational directions, I was hearing things like feather it a little bit and start braking now. And he got one coming up on your right. He got us to the Air and Space Museum on schedule. That's awesome.
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Dude, shout out to a dad.
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Coming in calm, cool, and collected.
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I'm your wingman, big dog. Take a deep breath.
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I don't even know what that means. Pump the brakes.
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Made it seem like they were skidding in. I know. There you go. We're talking about whipping work. That's what a dad does. We never had those more blue-collar... Rougher dad. We always had the dad who was like sweater vest kind of dad, buttoned up shirt kind of.
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He was a senator, I believe. He became a senator, wasn't he? Senator Sonny Bono? Do you know who Sonny Bono is?
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We didn't have a real one.
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Yeah, T-shirt, jeans, and Tim dad wasn't taking off of work at the job site to, you know. A day's pay. That's stuff for broads. That's what the broads did.
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What the fuck's a clementine?
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It's like a little orange. All right. Jesus Christ. This one's from Skid Mark. That's great. Eighth grade trip to Gettysburg. There you go. Sure. The hotel had. Well, this is another thing. A lot of which we've never done. There was a lot of overnight school field trips, which seems like a pedophile's dream. Is that right?
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Well, I guess at the time that we grew up, that was like, you're not staying over with strangers. That seems insane to me. You're going to stay at some weird seedy hotel with weird people I don't know? Sure. No way was anybody, no one I know's parents signing off on it. No.
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But that does, we're going to keep going with this one because I got something to add to this.
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Eighth grade trip to Gettysburg, the hotel had free HBO. No. Word got around and every boy was watching Katie Morgan review sex toys. Who's Katie Morgan? Someone ratted and the teachers came around to ruin the fun, went to Hershey Park the next day and got caught pickpocketing Kit Kats. How you doing? That's, I mean, in a hotel room with school people, it seems insane to me.
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A hotel room with a teacher? That's crazy. I'm sure he had his own room. You had your own room. I've heard there's stories here where they say there would be like three or four people to a room. We bunked up.
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United States representative. What state? Party land. What? I don't know.
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Yeah. Listen, I get that. I'm just saying that's we, you know, we had the sixth grade. You shouldn't be sleeping next to a teacher's room ever. That's my rule. We had the sixth grade camping. One kid.
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Fuck, there's no way that's flying now. No, no chance. That wasn't that long ago. He's a young kid.
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That's crazy. 15 years. I was 30. That's going on when I'm 33. That's fucked up. Man, that's crazy. If I was the teacher, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here. I'd sleep in a car. No way. Fuck you. I'm not fucking bunking up with this kid. That's what I'm saying. Weird. It's just weird. Weird. But I remember – I don't know where it was.
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I want to say it was Philadelphia because I don't feel like – Philadelphia? I don't feel like we would have drove down to, like, D.C. or Virginia or something like that in a day. But I remember we went to, like – Like, it was, like, colonial times.
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And they had, like, the little huts where, like, the blacksmith was working. Could have been a renaissance fair, maybe? No. And, like, I remember touring a dining room that was, like, set from, like, colonial times. Because I remember it had that salt. lick in it on the plate. They used to have a mound of salt. You would lick it? No, I'm just saying salt lick.
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It was like a cone of salt, and they would scrape salt off and sprinkle it.
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I mean, Philly has the old city stuff, like the Ben Franklin. Maybe it was down there. That makes sense. I feel like I was in a field, though, and they had all that stuff.
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That's where I found out how they, you know, soft pretzels came first. It was soft pretzels first, then hard pretzels. They just left them in the oven too long and discovered that you can have them hard. Isn't that crazy? Wouldn't you think hard pretzels came first? It was soft pretzels. First soft pretzels and hard pretzels. In the United States? Anywhere.
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I guess it would have came over from Germany. They would have been soft. I don't know. See what was invented first, hard pretzels or soft pretzels. And where hard pretzels was invented. And let's get some hard pretzels. This is a real chicken or the egg type thing. Where was the soft pretzel invented?
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It's got to be, like, Germanic tribes or something.
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You think back then? Cooking.
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Buddy, if you leave me, those guys had nothing to do. I'd come up with a soft pretzel. That's pretty good.
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They had soft pretzels. All this shit. That they didn't have, but yet they had soft pretzels back then.
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But they couldn't mix it with a screaming cold Coke. And let me tell you, I'd rather be in hell sitting there with a dry-ass mouth in the 1500s.
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Isn't that crazy to think that they had soft pretzels back then? That doesn't seem right.
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And how bad could it have been? It was probably more of like a bread. I doubt it's the same exact style.
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Man, mayor of Palm Springs. Talk about an easy gig. Talk about getting your D.S.
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That's funny. The monks come up with a lot of shit. On a field trip, they said. When HBO was out. The monks come up with a lot of shit through history. They're enlightened. And these motherfuckers don't have jobs. They're just hanging out. Where were they getting cash? Church. They were like think tanks.
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Huh. That's pretty good. Italian monk come up with a soft pretzel. Is he a saint? He should be.
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Saint Snyder's. Saint Annie's.
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Fair enough. Okay. All right. But I remember doing that one, and I remember I hated it because it was so hot and boring and fucking those people were walking around in those colonial clothes. And I was like, aren't you fucking sweating? Yeah, they were. You got soft pretzels back then. Nobody fucking invented a pair of shorts. No water ice or nothing.
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You are out there in Palm Springs.
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Let me get a fucking cherry Rita's called a fucking day, dude. Be cool, Rita. Be cool, Rita. I wouldn't need shorts if you got a fucking frosty Rita's. I'd be cool as ice. How about a couple of Luigi's? A couple of Italian ices for me and the boys. You're supposed to eat the soft pretzel by itself like a fucking dickhead. And summertime is about to be right here.
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Fucking closing at Boca del Vista. Ain't nothing wrong with that. That's what you do. You get down there to Florida. You relax a little bit. That's what you got to do. Get some color. Go down there to Boca. Take Junior's place. Find a nice lady who works the inventionals department at fucking Sears or something like that. So where's my wife in this mix? I forgot. Gumming up the works.
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And in the Philadelphia tri-state area, there ain't nothing better than a fucking Rita's water ice and a pretzel brain.
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Yeah. But, dude, think about... My eye just twitched. I remember... I, like, almost screwed up. I remember... So Rita's is an Italian ice place. It's a soft Italian ice, not like the hard ones, like the little cups or anything. It's a soft, more like a Philadelphia institution. We call it water ice. Italian ice. Italian ice, but soft and, you know, whatever.
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And the place Rita's is, it's like a Wawa style chain, meaning they're all over the place. Franchise. You would buy a pretzel. You'd buy three. You know, we'd buy, like, everybody would get a water ice, and we'd buy, like, three pretzels. Me, my mom, Sarah, Danny, and, you know, you'd munch on them.
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I remember. And then they had a pretzel braid, which is like a loaf of pretzel. We had one at the birds game. Did we? Yeah, I think so. The thickest, thickest could be. And I remember the day I was able to put that down by myself, ungoverned, un-any. I said, everybody get out of my way. Felt like a monk in the 69ers. All right, let's see. This one's from Mr. Bevilacqua.
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I got to be honest with you, a home run so far from the homies. Talk about getting the assignment. Sure. My class once went on a field trip to San Francisco. Jesus. They're probably from there. Everybody leaves Bluebell on their goddamn six hour flight. Hey, that's a project back then. That would be fun. Flying with your. Yeah, flying would be fun.
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Well, we had I didn't do it, but we had that our senior year. Everybody, their senior class trip is Disney. Everybody goes, you don't, not everybody. I mean, I remember it being like $1,500 and you share a room and there's like a hard curfew and you can't catch heaters. And I remember they were like, there's no smoking. I remember me and my fucking Sig head buddies were like, fuck that.
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You had the $1,500 anyway. I could have for sure got it from my mom. Yeah. I remember her going, because we wanted to go. Our boy or somebody found a trip for like $800 to Cancun. She's got to work three more shifts so you can get thrown out of Epcot to go to Cancun. It was $800 to go to Cancun. I go, listen, you're saving $700. Just send me to fucking. She says, she goes, I'll do the Florida.
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You're not doing Cancun. She heard me call her a bitch on the phone. That's butt dial. You come back pregnant. Talk about the ultimate. I got braids in my hair. I'm a bitch, huh? So I didn't do it, but all my good group of friends all did it. Sure.
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It was the best sober fun I ever had.
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Suck my diesel. Yeah. But all right, this one's from Mr. Bevilacqua. My class once went on a field trip to San Francisco. The school bus hit traffic on the way back. I had drank too much root beer. Oh, boy. Okay. and ended up having to pee so bad I had my girlfriend hold a jacket around me so I could pee into one of the empty root beer bottles. Who are you, fucking Forrest Gump?
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I ended up overflowing that bad boy and drenching all over myself and the bus. The whole class was there in high school. Ouch. That's a tie. I mean, pee in your pants. At least he had a girl.
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I'd be like, it's all calm. No one knows what that, you know what I mean? Like, no one's like, not everybody knows how much gum there is in ice cream. She was ripping me off in the backseat.
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Crazy. I'm so wet. You're just like making stuff up. She was so wet, dude.
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It's a family show, Kevin. Are you done talking about your mom rubbing her tits on windshields? I didn't say that. Ergazungas. All right. Let's see here. This is from Jackie Treehorn. I'm a Bucks County guy myself. Hey. And my oldest kid did a second grade class field. This is recent. Yeah, this is a good one. And my oldest kid did a second. Wait, hold on.
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I don't think they brought that in. Not your wife.
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My oldest kid did a second grade class field trip to McCaffrey's, a supermarket in Newtown. Know it. Not kidding. They walked down the aisles, met the people behind the butcher counter, and got to try on the aprons and got a tour of the stock room. That's not bad. That's awesome. McCaffrey's is a nice organization. I know that McCaffrey's. It used to be a Gennardi's. Shout out Pat and Flip.
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I don't know what reality you're creating. First of all, didn't he say Palm Springs, California? You ended up in Florida.
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Both worked there. I worked about 50 yards up at the Acme. There you go. Store numbers are nice. Store number 7911.
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You know what McCaffrey's does nice is when you walk in, they have, like, a bunch of shit for, like, the house. I can't describe it.
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They have, like, seasonal. Yeah, it'll be like.
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Like, that's what a flower department is.
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And it's right next to the flower. They have the flowers on the right or the left. And then they have, like, you know, kitchen towels and, like, you know, baskets and stuff. It's not bad. Shout out to McCaffrey's. It's a great American institution. And what a great – that is a great, wholesome field trip as a second.
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Because it's like a place you've been before. Like, I know this. But to go and study it intricately. To put on an apron and get behind a butcher counter at eight years old, that's all – I'd do that now. This is the red dye we put on the old meat. This is the rubbing alcohol we use to take off the expiration date. You kids can keep a secret, huh? Oh, that's pretty good.
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All right, this is another one. This is from Cal. In fifth grade, my whole class walked over to the local Domino's. We went behind the counter. That's a little sad. Went behind the counter and made our own pizzas. That's a good time. It must have inspired a few of my classmates because at least two of them still work there 25 years later.
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Oh, man. Anything food related? We talked about this a little bit before. Like, we went to Chi Chi's. You guys ever go out and get lunch anywhere?
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Is that right? Is there a Palm Springs, California? That's the Palm Springs. What's Palm Springs in Florida?
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Our Spanish class in seventh grade or maybe ninth grade, seventh or ninth, it had to be ninth grade, took us to, it was in the shopping center we hung out at. Yeah. It was called Village Shires, and we were considered Shires rats. We'd go skate there to have people buy us heaters and stuff. Sure.
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And a place called Marita's Cantina, which had a Sig machine in there, which we knew because we'd try to sneak in there and get the Sig machine. And she warned us. Mrs. Grossman was a great teacher. She was like, listen... I've been taking every class there every semester for the past five years. I'm well aware of the SIG machine. No one, you know, no funny business.
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Play it fast, play it straight. But we had gotten, we went to Pat's house because Pat lived right near the shopping center and we got fucking stupid high. Okay. Like, like, like, sorry. Look at you. Like, like bong seventh or eighth, ninth grade ripping bingers high. Sure.
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That's where dudes go to get. Get topped off on spring break.
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On the move, they're like, oh, we're going to do this and go eat chips and burritos and stuff. And they're all freaked out?
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Oh, my boy, shout out Deli, turned green. Proper green. And he's staring at me. He was freaking me out.
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My enchilada's talking to me, man.
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I did think he reached for something, and his depth perception was off, and he pricked his finger on something, and he pulled it back. He went like that, and I went, what happened? He goes, something just bit me. And I'm like, dude, we got to get the fuck out of here, dude. We are behind enemy lines.
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Our junior year, they took us to an Indian joint called Palace of Asia. Nobody ate a fucking thing.
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You guys are ordering Domino's? Dude.
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It must have been chicken tikka masala. Looking back on it now. For sure. They're not throwing anything higher than that at you at the World of Asia. I swear to God, this thing had eyeballs on it. Looking like, what the fuck? The smells in there. I just wasn't ready for it. No, of course. Of course. That restaurant thrived for years in our area. I think it was over in Fort Washington.
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Isn't there a Palm Springs?
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But it was like a became like an institution for Indian cuisine. Now it's saffron over an ambler.
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There you go. Yeah. That's pretty good. All right. This one is Tootie's side piece. Third time, long time, never have one read. Shout out to you. In high school, all the Italian classes would go to Little Italy in New York City from Long Island. That's awesome. And we would eat lunch, then be given free range until the buses picked us up at 430 Uptown at the Empire State Building.
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Well, that's where I'm going.
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Kids would be getting piercings, buying bongs, getting fake IDs down in the village. This was all post 9-11, and I have no idea why they let us do this. It was crazy. We would smoke weed on the Bronx Zoo monorail. That's New York City kid shit. That's like...
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That's nuts. Did you ever go down to the Italian market in Philly for a trip? No. It was too dangerous.
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Yeah. The only thing in Philly we ever really did for a school field trip would be Franklin. Franklin Institute. I think that's it. Then it was like Amish country. We did a Renaissance Fair. We did Medieval Times. We did the Bucks County Jailhouse. They locked us all up for a minute. You're in there with like, there's real guys being processed. You're in there already snitching.
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Hey, get on a Palm Beach. Get on a Boca. Relax for a little bit. Walk. Play a little golf.
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I didn't do it, man. It was fully- You got the Kool-Aid on your lips? Your pockets are turned out? I want to say we did it in college, too. It was actually the first time I was ever in New York. I was in college for my art history class, and we went to – I'd never been to New York. And I was on – Art history? You went to a jail? No. Oh.
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We went to a museum, and it was either MoMA or the – Probably the Met. Probably the Met. Yeah. I forget. Where's the Met? Upper East or Upper East? Upper East. 80th.
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What are you talking to me? I'm doing well. What are you talking about? You get up. You fucking go somewhere.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It had to be that then. Sure. That's where you would go. You wouldn't go to the MoMA.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Start in the beginning at the Met like a gentleman. Sure. I mean, you had to write like we had to pick six pieces. I ran into the first six pieces. I was like, this inspires me to whatever. Then I found myself like a fucking middle of the road pizza spot a couple blocks away. I remember putting down. You're painting a still life. I remember putting down a couple.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I remember, to my mind, it was so Philly-centric. What a fat little bastard. I'm like, they want 15 bucks for two slices of pizza? Smokes are $12. And I sat on the front steps of the Met just cranking heaters for four or five more hours. And the bus will be, you know, we left at like fucking 6 o'clock. We got here at 10. Ladies, man. They were like, oh, we're doing a group lunch up on the roof.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'm like, that's the last thing I want to hang out with these art nerds. I already had half a pie. I'll be downstairs in my sweatpants smoking. In my cargo pants, sweatpants.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I should. Telling me what to do. You go do something. I should. Take a cruise by myself. Why don't you take a field trip? Hey!
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
If you see any hot chicks, talk me up, all right?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I remember it had to be the Upper East Side. It was a rich neighborhood. I remember there was signs that said no honking. I'm like, these rich motherfuckers don't even let you honk? What the fuck? These dudes, this money is long up here, dog. I am a long way from Bucks County. Like an old cat. He's controlling the fucking noise. Hachimachi. This one's from I'm Your Pitcher Man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Shout out to Pitcher Man. Went to the local zooquarium, in quotes. In third grade, best friend got his hand bitten by an ostrich. Fucked him up good. That will fuck you up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Man, a combo zoo aquarium is tough. That's a tough look. We had to have gone to the, is there a Philadelphia aquarium? Camden. Yes, we would have had to have gone to that one. Aquariums are nice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
We did the Philadelphia Zoo out in West Philly.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, an aquarium is nice. I feel like we probably did the Camden, but I don't feel like I went. Indoor, AC, very tranquil.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Dark. Yeah. Sunny, beating down on you. Like that. Good fish sticks. Yeah. Farm to the table. Fresh, never frozen. And they're eating shark meat. Is this real? Yeah, we never had any of the real. We were supposed to have the New York and D.C. Those were the big ones. But like I said, they got fucking shit-canned. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden. Fucking taking my good times. All right, let's see here.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's what I did, a little Franklin Institute.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
This is from CN. In sixth grade, we went to the Denver Zoo coming from several hours away. The buses stopped at a Wendy's on the way there. The chaperone for our bus was the history teacher who told us anyone who ate a Dave's triple biggie-sized combo would get extra credit to bump up their grade a full letter of full ten points.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You got to go somewhere, learn, expand your horizons. Uh-huh. You know, open your eyes a little bit. Expand my horizons.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's a 32-ounce drink, a biggie-sized french fry, and a triple patty cheeseburger. How old were they? Sixth grade. About nine of us tried it. Three of us completed it all, but we threw up on the bus outside of Denver. The history teacher wasn't allowed to chaperone after that. The times were wild back then.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's fucking awesome, man. That's awesome. If anybody can get a triple in them, that's great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
They should have gave that guy a fucking promotion.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't know about that. Oh, God, dude. That's so funny.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
A full grade. That's awesome.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
This one's from Arock. Chaperoning my kid's fields trip has taught me one thing. Never trust a kid with a raspy voice. Hey, Mr. Foley, what are you doing? No.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Get off the family plane. I'm a singular man. Let's talk about it, gang. Talking about field trips today. Who doesn't remember or was it a pivotal moment in your childhood, the first big field trip, the field trip that went wrong? You had money. You didn't have money. Your parents were prepared. Maybe they weren't prepared. Something fucked up happened when you were down there. Somebody got shot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Mr. Angeluno, can I go over here?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
He's whispering. Ain't nobody notice, but...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
A kid with a raspy voice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Never trust a kid with a raspy voice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't know if I've ever heard a kid with a raspy voice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't know. I don't know if I want to, though. Fucking creep me out. It's great. Oh, fuck me, dude. All right, this one's from Mark. My mom drove behind the school's bus for a school field trip because she didn't have the cash to pay for the bus. Ooh.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
But it was great because the coolest kid in school who was also not allowed on trips came with us, making us the cool kids by association for years to come. Whoa. You're hanging out with Steve. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, you're lumped in. Wow. Socially, at a young age, obviously school is a very docile social ecosystem. Sure. i.e.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
your mom going on a field trip, not being the cool mom, yelling at a kid, that could ruin a couple years for you. These kids are finicky, you know, a finicky ecosystem. That's why I never had Patty around. My mom can't be trusted, you know what I mean? And they're quoting the Bible or something. Leviticus 8. Shut the fuck up. Who raised you? That's what my mom would have been saying.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You got an attitude problem. Fucking threatening kids to watch their mouth out. Slap the shit out of you, little fucker. Take you down to... She always uses the threat to take us down to Kensington and Allegheny. You think you're tough? You think you're tough? Take you down to Kensington and Allegheny. Drop you off, see how tough you are. You like to wear your pants low? Wear them low down here.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Wear them low. Have Uncle Den come up here and kick the shit out of you. In your case, I just didn't fit. Couldn't pull them up. They were my dad's. The threats of Uncle Den coming to kick my ass. He's a great guy. You don't want to cross him. No. He was the quiet one, and you're like, he will fucking jab you right in the throat. That's my Uncle Mike.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'll call Uncle Mike. If my dad was away, I'll call Uncle Mike. I didn't want him pulling up in his fucking... LeBaron or whatever, whatever cutlass business car he had. Put an extra starch shirt on and his tie real tight. With a Winston hanging out and his face all beet red. Come in and beat my ass. Call me now from supper for this. Because the fat one got an attitude, bro. What's the problem?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Nothing. She's a bitch.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You know how these bitches are. Let me get one of them Winston's, old man. Boy, I tell you, rubbing your stomach. Thank God you're here. This bitch is breaking my stomach. You tell me if that meatloaf is cooked.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Huh? Huh? You believe this shit? Fucking skim milk.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Just give me if my homework's done. Is my laundry done?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Mike, you start calling him Mike, not even Uncle Mike. Mike, get a load of this. I get home. He's brought a burn of salad, you know what I mean? This chick can fuck up a crouton, Uncle Mike. You know what I'm talking about here? You want a cup of decaf? Hey, Mom, throw in a pot. Mike just got here. Just trying to flip it real quick.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Thank God. Holy shit. I'm at my wit's end with this broad, all right? If it wasn't for the kids, I'd have left years ago.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Dude, a good field trip that was coming up in the spring, that can get you through. of fall and the winter. Forget about it. That kept you going to school every day. That kept the grades up. That kept you out of your parents.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Is her sister this big of a pain in the ass?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It was your dad's brother? No, it was my mom's first cousins. My mom was an only child. So her family, they're my aunts and uncles. Yeah, it's trash. Yeah, I get it. He wasn't related to me at all.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It was through marriage.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
He's just some fucking guy. Dude, but he treated me like I was his kid. He was the fucking best. Yeah. Shout out to Uncle Mike.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's fucking hilarious, dude. He's broad. Has work, by the way. Ball still coming down on you? I mean, I get it, huh?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It reminds me of the scene in Donnie Briscoe when he meets Donnie's kid, or when he meets Al Pacino, Lefty's kid.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And he's on the junk. Yeah. And he goes, he's like, hey, why don't you, Donnie's like, why don't you try fucking slapping him around the bed? He goes, oh, my hands are black and blue. He's like, I can't even do it. I try it. I got bruises on my hands from slapping this kid around. All right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
But to go back to that, the ecosystem, to have what a turn of series of events to be like, you don't have the cash to go on the field trip. Worked out for you. But our school used to go, if you can't do it, the teacher would be like, if you can't do it, come up to me. They would even say, like, privately or, like, whatever.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Let someone know, and we'll take, like, take it out of the petty cash or something. Slush fund. Yeah. There was nothing ever really expensive. It was, like, 12 bucks for the buses or something. You know what I mean? And walking around. All the goddamn fucking property taxes these people are paying. You can't get a bus for today? No shit. I got to come out of pocket for a fucking cheese bus?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No shit. And walking around money was you got what you got. Maybe you got three bucks. Maybe you got five. Maybe you got a 20. I don't know. Whatever you had. Yeah. I don't wish that stuff always makes me sad, though, to think about that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You might not be able to go to the good field trips they would always, the school as well as your parents would be like, if you messed up at school, they'd go, if you do this, you're not going to go on the field trip. You're not going to go to wherever it was. That was usually bullshit. Oh, what are you going to leave me here by myself? No, you had to sit in a cafeteria with the other dingbats.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Kids not being able to like the kids that can't afford lunch or something like that. I remember that story a few years ago where they were refusing if kids parents hadn't paid their lunch bill.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Oh, yeah. They were like calling them in and embarrassing them.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And then they were getting to the end of the line with their fucking lunch tray and they were taking the kids lunch away. Your dad's a deadbeat. He owes us $14. Smash that lunch lady's face open. That's so fucked up. Let the fucking kid eat. Fucking embarrassing him like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I see where this emotion's coming from.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Call him a fat guy with bad teeth? No. No, it's because Patty was so nice to this one kid, Joel, who didn't have a... Oh, good thing you're airing his fucking business out there, you fucking rat fuck. He couldn't afford his baseball membership to Little League, and Patty would always... He lived at the bottom of our neighborhood with, like, 50 kids.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't know what the mom and dad were doing, but you'd go down there, they were hanging out the windows. And she would drive him to fucking Little League, and she paid for his uniform and all that stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
She's good shit, that Patty. Amen.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Good kid. Sure thing. But, yeah, but for that to turn to go from, like, this could be embarrassing to we're now the cool kids. Bang. That's all right. That is all. I would just say I'm sick. I ain't going. I'd have to put my foot down out of social anxiety and embarrassment. To go, Denise, shut your mouth and turn this car around. Let's stop at a Wawa and maybe an epic video.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I can go watch some fucking movies. You ain't taking. I'm not rolling up to Marita's Cantina sitting at the table next to it or whatever.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Oh, yeah. She's sitting there with a glass of wine. Two Mortys. She got a carafe. A carafe. Lunch.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I thought we didn't have the money. You're fucking drinking it all. You got white Zin money, huh? Oh, man. This is just nuts. This is from Rory. $10 homie, never had one read. Went to a local farm when we were pretty young. As we went to leave, the bus went off the dirt path and tipped over. No one got hurt, but it scared the shit out of us.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
The farmer used his tractor to pull us back onto the path and we carried on with our day. Get the fuck out of here. That would be on the front page of every news channel. That would be crazy. I'd be on TikTok. That'd be everywhere. That happened now. A flip in a bus. Who's driving auto? Simpson. And then just to roll it over and go, let's go. That's it, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's fucking crazy. Jesus Christ.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Jesus. When was that? It didn't say. Fuck. Anyway, it wasn't in the 2020s, I'll tell you that much. That didn't happen now. That would be, that guy, I mean, that people would be losing licenses. Sure. Not around kids. There'd be civil suits galore. Sure. That was a thing. You'd be at an institution and something would happen. You'd just go, wow, that's fucking nuts.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Everybody would just kind of look at each other. Keep moving. Get picked up and go home.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You ever see that video where the bus driver has a heart attack and the kids all handle it very well? Yeah. When he comes up, the one kid takes the wheel. The other one's doing CPR. Guy's filling out his time sheet for him. They fucking handle it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Turn this place into a blockbuster while you're gone.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
People are diving out the back. I mean, we were, yeah, lawless. Winging shit out the windows at cars. Sure. Hitting cars with M&Ms and stuff. We had a guy pull us over one time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Sure. I don't know what that meant.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah. Like fucking flagged down the bus and like got on the bus. Was like, you like giving the finger or whatever the fuck we were doing? Mm-hmm. Fucking had the nom vet up front. You think you're getting through him? This driver's got no legs.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Let's see. I think we've got time for one or two more here. Hit me. This is from Mushy Man. I pissed all over myself when I got lost in the underground part of Rockefeller Center on a band trip. Had to call the chaperone parent to come find me with my wet clothes. Told everybody waiting on the bus for me. Oh, you get there and everybody's there and you got wet pants. Wonder why he pissed himself.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Me either. I rolled with it. Palm Springs, ladies and gentlemen. Palm Springs, Florida.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Probably scared. Couldn't find a bathroom. Band kids, they're freaks. Yeah. I told everybody waiting on the bus for me that I spilled perfume all over myself. I broke the bottle of perfume I got for my mom to hold up the story. Nice. That's a liar, and I like it. Way to go. We were in New York to march in the Macy's Day Parade as munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. All right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Why couldn't every day? Like, those were the times where... What, every day be a field trip? Yeah, like, those were the days where I... That's called straight chilling, dog. Those were the days where I felt like, you know, like I was in the movie. Like, I felt like I was going to school. Like, it felt good. The shower felt better that morning. Breakfast felt better that morning.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's a pretty good gig. Yeah. And, dude, what a brilliant, nervous kid thinking like an adult. I broke this perfume. Covers the pee smell. I'm big on that. Covers the pee smell. Explains the wetness. You're out clean.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Take the lie as far as you can. Uh-huh. Remember that, kids. Yeah, something like that. Hey, you believe this? Broken. My mom's getting it from my mom. I can't believe it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Sucker. I shit my pants. All right, this one's from John Michael. $10, homie. Did you ever have a kid that would get injured on every field trip? My friend Tim in fifth grade had just gotten his cast removed from his arm and then broke it again on the monkey bars at the zoo. They took us back to the entrance, and we all watched him get carted off in an ambulance. He's giving the thumbs up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'll be all right, kids. Save my snacks. That's a tough look. I luckily never got hurt or nothing like that in public places with a group of people like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I got hydrochloric acid diluted. It squirted in my eyes and had to use the fucking thing. Eye flush? Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. It was actually very soothing. Tried to get out of wrestling practice that day. No dice. Mr. Landis wouldn't have it. They needed the kid on the line. He was breeding champions.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Another great story about me being a star athlete.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
What a fun one, gang. Thank you so much for tuning in. Get the tickets to the Back on the Block Tour. Pick up some cards. The whole nine yards. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh, yeah. It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find it has to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You'd get your cooler with your snacks and your drinks and all that kind of stuff to have on the bus. You'd get like 20 bucks from mom and dad to spend down at the gift shop wherever you were going. You know?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's when it was fun. Yeah, because the rest of the day, your brain... What we call it in the medical field, ain't good at learning.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I used to get sleepy. Yeah. I'd get sleepy right away. As soon as that teacher started talking to me, I'm tired.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That's like a dog. We try to train them. You get like 30 minutes with them before their brain overheats and they got to lay down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It's fucking hot in there. Shut up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
They call on you twice. I got to take a nap. I got to shut this down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I liked it being in a nice, cool science lab with those black desks, those black tables that were nice and cool, the air conditioner pumping, turn the lights off, and put on a fucking documentary from like the late 80s about water, about like precipitation, and they would show like- You hear the rainfall. The trickling, and they'd show streams from the mountains and stuff like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
A babbling brook. I'd be fucking out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Put your hood up. Heads up, seven up. Just dreaming. Just dreaming and chilling. Sure. That's school to me. What was your, do you remember your favorite? Field trip? Field trip. I mean.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Palm Springs, 88. Me and Sonny Bono. I got a bag of yak down there. Talk about fish scale. Me and Sonny Bono went water skiing. This guy knows his way up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I can't water ski. Wait, weight problem? No, I don't have the centrifugal balance to go water skiing. Centrifugal balance. It's something that lines up. I can't get up. Yeah. Your front heavy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah. It's like pulling a Mack truck out of a bog. You need a good winch. No rope is going to do that. Got kelp all over me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Um, the Franklin Institute, man, that was, that was, that was the one.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That was a big one in, uh, in for, for, for, for Philadelphia. The Franklin Institute was like, uh, get the exact definition. Uh, I mean, it was a museum. It was an interactive experience. They had the first dome. No, was that the dome planetarium? No, but, uh, The screen. Planetarium. That wasn't the planetarium. Yes, it is. That's what it's called. It's called a planetarium.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. Shout out to her. Just earned her yellow belt. Okay. Yeah. over there at South Philly Kung Fu and Karate and Pet Store. So good for her. Watch out, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, the planetarium is like you look up at the sky.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I know, but that screen.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Sky. What? I saw a laser. Nirvana at the Franklin. No, I saw laser light shows down there. We used to go down to the Franklin Institute and see laser light shows in college.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Drop a couple of tabs of sunshine and fucking head down there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It's a science museum in Philadelphia. Are you talking about IMAX?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It's the planetarium. I know. They got IMAX there, too. It was more of a movie screen. I'm not saying they didn't show that, but they also showed, like, you'd be on, like, a helicopter flying through the city. When I was back when I was back.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Maybe they upgraded it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah. Dude, that was, I mean.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Ours was just the stars.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
And they had that thing that looked like a telescope in the middle, and it would go around. And it felt like the... Like the place was moving.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
That was always big. We were always big on – and also, too, Discman had just dropped. Discman dropped when I was in – everybody kind of had them in fifth and sixth grade. So, I mean, you and your boys, what CDs you got? CD books, we flip them. Let me get the DMX CD. Let me get – that was when hip-hop was in it. A couple of tough guys back there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Talking Tupac. I'm talking Jay-Z. We didn't have that shit. We just listened to... I remember listening to classic rock on a field trip. The bus driver was this old Vietnam vet, and he used to crank 93.3 WMMR. Sure. Listen to that on the way down.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
It means more rock. Talking about President Steve. I'm talking about Jackie... Pierre Robert. Pierre Robert. I met Pierre Robert. Me too.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Did you? Yeah. Yeah, shout out to him. He was friends with somebody through the theater, through the Hedgerow Theater. I can't remember how.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Wait, I think he was boys with one of my friends in high school's dads. I think he was boys with Mr. Gabriel, to be honest with you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Google that. See if Pierre Robert was friends with Mr. Gabriel. Don't you wish the internet was that? Shout out to Anthony. Dude, every time I can't find my keys, I'm like, if I could just Google where my keys are. What more do you need? What are you doing? Bits on me? No. Is that a bit?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I don't know. Should I try that? It's going to be. I called dibs.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I remember one time that bus driver put on stern and everybody sitting in the back was stingers.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, I think I was in like seventh grade or something like that. We were listening to Stern. I remember the next day it wasn't on and somebody's parents had called and complained. Sure. But he don't get fired. That wasn't the way it was back then. A couple of strikes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Well, this is so obviously most of our listeners are in there. You know, most of them in their 20s, 30s and 40s. You know, they're all people of our age. There's not a lot of children listening to this. So a lot of these stories take place in the 80s and 90s where you're like, oh, there's no way this would happen now. You know what I mean?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Do they do that shit, though? Like now? Because I remember a big one in I think we were in high school was we came up to New York.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Kick your ass. Okay. My coach is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage and what he lacks in physical appearance. He makes up for it in personality and wild things in the bedroom.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
So I got robbed of that. I was supposed to go. It was 9-11. We were supposed to go. We were supposed to go like we always every school. We always went in September, the end of September. Like, dude, I'm talking permission slip signed. Had my, you know, 1850 in like $18.50 check written out.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Where were you going? Do you remember where you're going to go when you get up here?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I think we're going to hit the cellar, then try to pop a couple of sets at the Boston. Were you going to go to the World Trade Center? I guess you were, probably. Probably there in like MoMA or something. I don't know. I don't know more. Yikes. So that and D.C., they were the same week we were supposed to do. I'd have you fuckers on a list. I don't like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
You had that all planned out, didn't you? Also, I was supposed to go to Central PA, too. So we didn't get to have that. That was the big one. That was the one you would hear people would go up and, like, you know, they'd go to Times Square, you'd get, like, a switchblade, fucking fake IDs. Somebody would buy a nickel bag of weed or something like that.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Yeah, you'd be like, oh, no, you're allowed to. Because you were, like, on. Some chaperones would be like, yeah, just meet back here at 5. Some chaperones would be like, we're moving as a group. Which is insane.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Taking fucking high school kids to New York City, meet back here at 5.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Come back with a tattoo and a wife. My boy who grew up in New York, they would take the subway. They're like, oh, we're all going to the whatever. We're all going to the Met. So they take the subway. And he's like, we would go in between the train cars and smoke a blunt. City kids are built different. Fucking wild. I like it out there in the burbs. I'm a yellow cheese bus kind of guy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
up for kj kevin james ryan everybody what up gang buddy shout out to you thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube full video available over there on spotify by the way those numbers are cooking charts over there i know i got damn charts obviously the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com garbage go over there you get all
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
My favorite one was we went down to the Edgar Allen Poe house in Philly, which was awesome. That's pretty good. Yeah, we were studying.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
As you got, of course. As you got older, they got smaller, which was great. I remember that. It wasn't the whole school would be like these couple social studies classes. The one was, I think, just my English class. That's what I'm saying, yeah. And it was like maybe 15 of us. And we went down there. Small class.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
There were a couple teachers in there. That was not one guy doing that heavy lifting. 15 kids, 30 teachers. Took us to color at Sesame Place.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
No, but we went down there and we were reading about them. We were doing all kinds of literary stuff at the time. It was English lit. I think I was smoking doobies. I was expanding my mind, as you say, my horizon.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
As you said. What do I say? You said expanding your horizons. I was expanding my horizons back then. Dropping acid and tuning in. Somebody's got to fucking reset you, dude. Take me back to the factory. Anyway, we went down there. We had a lovely day. It was a nice spring day. I think we smoked a joint or something like that. Went and walked around, saw all this shit, got back. It was great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
The best one for us was always the Amish country. They take us out to Lancaster. About a two-hour drive. Pound of mashed potatoes at the buffet. Well, no, we'd just stop by, like, side-of-the-road stands, and we would, I mean, these poor Amish. Kevin's eating a whole apple pie. Fat fuck. I'm out there smoking. You guys got tobacco?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Field Trips Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
I mean, these poor, you know, these poor, bad haircut-having mothers, the last thing they wanted to see is a group of fucking. Those guys would fuck you up, though. They're all field hands. They'd fucking tune you up. I know, but they ain't allowed to fight. That's against their religion. Is it? Also, I would just hold my disc man up and scare the shit out of him. Exco, give it to ya.
Bad Friends
Paper Airplanes Come & Steal Your Girl
By the way, that's the name of the Virginia Tech shooter.
Bad Friends
Paper Airplanes Come & Steal Your Girl
Nein, Carlos... Carlos war mit mir. Er war anrufend, google mich. Ja, google mich. Und er hat die Minuten gedreht, bis er wieder nach L.A. zurückgehen wollte. Er hat angefangen zu schreien, fünf!
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I didn't want to be talked out of this plan. After I post this, I am turning off my phone for exactly this reason.
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
You'll notice that about me. I don't lurk. I'm out there. I'm an action kind of girl.
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I didn't want to be talked out of this plan. After I post this, I am turning off my phone for exactly this reason.
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
You'll notice that about me. I don't lurk. I'm out there. I'm an action kind of girl.
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I didn't want to be talked out of this plan. After I post this, I am turning off my phone for exactly this reason.
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
I kept just kind of asking everybody, anyone else think this is strange?
Betrayal: Season 4
Betrayal Weekly: BONUS EP 5 - Melissa’s Listener Essay
You'll notice that about me. I don't lurk. I'm out there. I'm an action kind of girl.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 4 - Horse and Buggy
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 4 - Horse and Buggy
I found out I was related to the guy that I was dating.
Bone Valley
Jeremy | Chapter 4 - Horse and Buggy
Well, I'll definitely be getting back to you with any updates that I can find because I'm not quitting on it. Yeah, I sure thank you, buddy. You're in my heart and you're in my life. I appreciate what you did for me.
Crook County
Inside Crook County: Behind the Mic with Kyle Tekiela
That's interesting. You know, there are a bunch of stubborn bastards, let me tell you.
Danny Jones Podcast
#296 - Mind Warfare, Media Control & Space Surveillance | Eric Czuleger
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma As We Talk Beauty, Brains, and Business with Natasha Cornstein
Right.
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma As We Talk Beauty, Brains, and Business with Natasha Cornstein
Hi, Kim and Grandma Gail. I love your podcast and would love both of your advice and help on my problem. So I'm in my early 30s and I've been dating my boyfriend for about five years. He started his medical school residency, so he's working long and intense hours.
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma As We Talk Beauty, Brains, and Business with Natasha Cornstein
I've known this was coming and I love him dearly so I want to support him and we've talked about engagement and everything soon but now that residency is actually happening I'm finding myself feeling lonely and overwhelmed. I want to support his work and his dreams and I'm so proud
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma As We Talk Beauty, Brains, and Business with Natasha Cornstein
relationship um and it feels disproportionate what else do you think i can do to be accepting of this phase of our relationship and what can i ask him within reason uh to do to make this easier on me and if you have any tips on still spending quality time with each other while one of us is working such long hours i would greatly appreciate it thank you guys
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma As We Talk Beauty, Brains, and Business with Natasha Cornstein
23.
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma on Valentine's Day, Rituals, and Self-Love
Hi, Kim and Grandma Gail. I need some dating advice. I am 26, and I just moved to New York City from the South. And I'm struggling because I feel like none of the guys I'm dating here have manners like they did back home. I'm used to guys pulling out my chair for me, holding the door, stuff like that. And it's not really happening.
Excuse My Grandma
Excuse My Grandma on Valentine's Day, Rituals, and Self-Love
My friends are telling me that I'm too picky and that I need to lower my standards and realize that I am in this big city now and not back home in the South, but I don't know. These things are important to me. So what do you think? Should I hold out for a guy that has manners in New York or will I be waiting forever?
Excuse My Grandma
Please Excuse My Grandma’s New Look for 2025
Hi Kim and Grandma Gail. Love your podcast. I'm so excited to get Grandma Gail's advice on this. So I've been dating a guy for about four months and everything's going so great. We get along really well and I could really see it going somewhere. We decided about two months ago that we're not dating other people and But nothing has progressed past that.
Excuse My Grandma
Please Excuse My Grandma’s New Look for 2025
He says he's not ready to put a label on the relationship, but I don't understand what's different about what we're doing now versus if he was my boyfriend. We see each other multiple times a week, have met each other's friends, and have expressed how strongly we feel about each other. Is this something he will move past, or do I need to move on?
Excuse My Grandma
Please Excuse My Grandma’s New Look for 2025
Why are guys so afraid of putting a label on something that is clearly a relationship anyway?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And out of respect for me, you didn't hear it from me. Like, if you really don't want to be involved, you got to ask also to not be involved at the same time.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Look at the breakups that happen where people are literally... I mean, people go as far as... Murder. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
If they do, oh, well. Hey, if we could put you in a carbon cloner or whatever and make a million of you, the world might be a much smoother, happier place.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Well, if the two people who end up working out took that risk, they assumed the risk from the beginning. If they end up being right, then great. But if they don't, then everything blew up. So it's their risk to take.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But see, it's said in here, you're assuming I have to let all those people go.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
The thing you're talking about where, oh, I get to make this choice, date someone's ex. We end up. Kumbaya. We end up like winning essentially, right? We are right. We get married. We live happily ever after.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And we're best friends with all this is extremely rare.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Yes, this worked out, but they even mentioned we had to leave all that. We assumed we were going to have to forget all those people. Fortunately for them, they were not close, good friends. It gets really tricky when it's like, oh my God, I'm absolutely in love with this person. They could be the love of my life. And I'm still really close with all these friends and don't want to lose them.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
One, because then there's some element that you would have to interact with me. As one of your close friends dates me, it's like, would I then not come to any event? You know what I mean? So it gets really messy.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Just like the top says here, regarding girl code, it only applies if she's a good friend.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I think you got to fight for it. Kind of like any animals do in the wild. They fight to win that mate. To death! Just as we all do. Except, you know, you generally don't know you're competing with someone for someone.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So it's like, I didn't realize I was competing for Morgan at the time. I was just trying to...
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
you know have a good thing develop between us but I didn't realize that I was like in the gladiator ring about to get my head chopped off by someone else with a sword oh my god no you won you make it you make it seem so ugly so bloody it also reminds me of the time when I matched with two girls on Hinge that were really good friends and I matched with both of them it happened to me separately wow
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And I didn't end up making the decision they did. They said, oh, you take him. It feels like a steak.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You're going to have the steak. But the hardest part of this for me is going forward forever with the what if. And I know I bring that up a lot on this show, but it really is what will eat away at you over time. So you have two options. Okay. Because forgetting about it isn't one. I'm with you. We're erasing that. I'm with you.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Option one, start making moves of your own to try and talk to this guy. See if you even like him. Because yeah, when you meet someone in a workplace, you're interacting on workplace stuff, not necessarily personal things. I mean, yeah, some of it bleeds in, but anytime I've worked at a place with people, it's very surface level interesting. you don't get to see the ins and outs of them.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Like what if you go to his place and he's just got a bunch of weird shit everywhere and he's like a hoarder or something.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You don't really like, you don't really know him. So try to get to know him to see if, if you are even losing.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
In full circle now, my option two. You got two? Yeah, I said I have two options. I want to hear it. Let's hear it. So yeah, first one, fight for it. Yep. Second one, which isn't as fun, wait, watch them fail, and then go in for seconds.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Theme today overall is girl code, but we're calling it girl, guy, code, whatever. Girl code.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So this happened years ago, and I'm wondering what you guys think I should have done. I had this guy friend, let's call him C, who I was friends with for years. We kind of grew up together and we lived in the same neighborhood. We used to do a lot of things together. He would come over and play with my brother and me.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I used to go over to his house and talk with him and his brother, cook together. I helped him with his English homework, played soccer during the summer overall, just spending time together. But one summer, our hangout started to feel different. I started to get the vibe that he was flirting with me. Ever since I met him, I thought he was cute, but never did or said anything about it.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Anyway, one thing led to the next, and during the summer, we started hooking up. We were hanging out more often, but it was casual, no labels. I introduced him to another friend I met that summer. Let's call her D. Slowly but surely, I started to realize that C was a lot more distant with me, not rude, but different. So we stopped hooking up.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Then I find out that D and him started seeing each other. It lasted for like three months and then they broke it off. D never spoke to me about their relationship except casually mentioning that that they were seeing each other. I didn't know what to do, so I did not mention we were hooking up before. I don't know why I didn't think it was pertinent.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
A month later, after their breakup, C starts flirting with me again and I asked him if he was seeing D and he told me no. I heard from my sister that D wasn't seeing C, so I took it as a green light to casually hook up with C again. The details have become blurry, but somehow Dee found out that I was hooking up with C. I did not tell her. She got mad at me and we stopped talking for a little bit.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
She would come over to my house to see my sister and would not even look at me. My sister eventually told me that Dee was mad because I broke girl code. Do you guys think I did? Nope. And where do you guys think I messed up?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
But in the words of Jerry, did... Did the friend, if she had known that C- Was hooking up first? If she knew that a writer was hooking up first, is that breaking girl code when they were not in a serious relationship, just casual friends hooking up? Because what we defined earlier is that it only matters if someone's dating or has been romantic, right? Let's say that's a good word for it. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Well, if they're hooking up, that's romantic. Yeah. But friends with benefits is a lot different than we're dating. So is it wrong to hook up with someone's old friends with benefits partner that, you know, the person that's your friend?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
We get to make our own choices and decisions. You also just want to be a good person as well. You're not being a bad person. Sometimes you are.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Hi, Father Knows Something. Huge fan of both FKS and THT. When you mentioned an upcoming topic on Girl Code, I knew I had to share this story. It involves three people. Katie, my best friend of eight years. Her ex, Liam. and my old roommate, Ashley. Katie and I met in college and were inseparable. We called ourselves soulmates.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
However, last year our friendship became toxic and we distanced ourselves for about six months. We later reconnected, worked through our differences, and rebuilt our friendship. Katie started dating Liam a few years into our friendship and he became a close friend as well. They were together for six years but broke up last August. The breakup was a disaster, messy, emotional, toxic.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
So if, theoretically, if you had walked in on them, undeniable, red-handed, then Girl Code says... Tell her. Different story. Says tell them.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
They lived together, shared pets, and some finances, so it was an incredibly difficult time. Katie ended up moving back to her parents' house five hours away after she lost her job due to the toll it took on her. Ashley and I met three years ago and became roommates soon after, but we no longer lived together.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
It's interesting because it does bring up another side of the code. Okay. Which, you know, all the stories thus far have been dating someone's ex, but this is that other one we brought up where, okay, I know this person just cheated on this person.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Do I tell them? And we've had that in the past where people are on the fence for a variety of reasons. And unless it really is going to impact your life greatly or cause you to be in a dangerous situation, it's not bad to be the person that tells.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
It's crazy how much wild stuff like that revolves around weddings and the wedding night. It's just crazy though.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
During that time, she witnessed my fallout with Katie and even tried to help us reconcile, which I appreciated. When Katie and I reconnected, Ashley helped her get a job at her company, the one Katie lost during the breakup. Here's where it gets complicated.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
See, we already said we'd keep hanging out, Jerry.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
It's just the code's messy. It's so situation dependent that every single case looks so different that it's one of those things where it's like a law that has to be applied just not as a blanket thing. you know, law. It's more, how much was the law broken here?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
And then it's like, what is the, you know, it's so messy.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Katie and I had another falling out recently because she accused me of things with Liam and blamed my boyfriend for sharing personal information about her. which did not happen, I think she was just looking for someone to blame for her emotions. We haven't spoken since. A few weeks ago, Ashley and I met for dinner and she dropped a bombshell I was not expecting. She and Liam are now dating.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I was stunned. Although my relationship with Katie is strained, I feel this crosses a line. I told Ashley that I couldn't support her relationship with Liam as it feels like a betrayal to Katie and would deeply hurt her. Ashley and I haven't spoken about it or seen each other since.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Ashley and I share a large group of friends and so far only one person has asked me about the situation, but I'm well aware they all know. I've heard through the grapevine that some friends are siding with Ashley even though I've never asked anyone to take sides. I don't think most of them truly understand my perspective, especially since many don't know Katie or have only met her once or twice.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
All I told Ashley was that I don't want to be around her and Liam together. That's it. I haven't spoken to Katie and I have no idea if she knows about this. I'm torn about whether I should reach out to her, which has left me feeling pretty stuck. It seems like no one truly understands my perspective.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
While I have strong feelings about where I stand, some people make me feel like I'm being overly emotional or difficult about the situation. Ideal outcome. I'm not entirely sure what I want the outcome to be. I just want to handle this in the best way possible and ensure Katie knows I'm not involved in any of this, whether she has already found out or finds out later.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
While I don't think it's anyone's business to begin with, I'd still like people to understand my perspective.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
It really depends who you want to have a relationship with going forward. Because you basically, in that sense, you have to choose a side.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I mean, I think in La La Land, yeah. Like in a fairy tale, sure. But in the real world, you will end up choosing a side and I think you'll be ostracized from the other.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
You can kind of see how it plays out. You don't necessarily have to take an active role. You can be more on the backside, just doing your thing, living your life. And If everything all blows up, it's like, oh, I, you know, I, I don't know. I just, you know, like, can someone really fault you?
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
I think you can be faulted if you don't tell someone that you're really close with, like, hey, Boba's cheating on you. Like, I think that is an obligation to insert yourself sometimes.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
No, I know, but I'm, right. I'm just saying, that's like an example of a point where you really, I think sometimes do have an obligation to step up and, Be a good person. In this case, I think you can just kind of be on the outside a little, but it really goes back to who you want to be loyal to and who you want to have a relationship with going forward.
Father Knows Something
153: Father Knows: Girl Code
Otherwise, just kind of let it all play out. Yeah.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Hi, FKS gang. Sorry for the long read. I have an issue that's been churning in my head for about a month, and I'm at an impasse of what I should do. So over a year ago, I met a great guy in my hometown in Norway. Let's call him G. G and I had a little summer romance before I went back to my studies in Denmark. We continued texting, and G visited me in November 2023.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It's certainly less of a sad day when it's not, you know, the full blown deal.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Well, given the ideal outcome, change our wedding plans, but still have a special day. That is the core of what this is. It is your day.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
It's fully your choice. Make it what you want. Yeah, in some ways, you're throwing a big party for all your friends and family. But at the same time, it's really about you. And however you and your partner want to do it is exactly how you should do it.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
You know, changing plans, inconvenient, sure. Impossible, no. especially when it's your wedding day. The rest of the ideal outcome, limit the disappointment of our guests, especially the kiddos. And I like some creative thinking like that. It's not, oh yeah, no, you're uninvolved. You're just coming to a boring, you know, from a kid's perspective, a boring after party dinner.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
No, we want you guys. We're gonna do something even cooler than what we were gonna do before. You guys are gonna be the start of the party. You go in, the music's gonna be going and you guys, you know what you were saying. And I think that's easy. That's such an easy change. You guys are gonna have the day of your lives and everyone else is still gonna have a good time too.
Father Knows Something
148: Father Knows.. Romance
Number three. I apologize for the length, but hopefully this all makes sense. My boyfriend, 27 male, and I, 27 female, have been dating for about three years now.
Father Knows Something
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When we first started dating, I had mentioned that I didn't really want kids, but that there was maybe a 5-10% chance that I would change my mind, and he said that he was undecided because sometimes he wanted them and sometimes he doesn't. Fast forward to now. We're having the whole kid discussion again. He says to me that he's always pictured his life with kids.
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It was an amazing trip and at the end, G admitted he was in love with me. This scared me since I've been in a long distance relationship before that turned to absolute shit. My ex cheated on me on my birthday. To spare myself, I started to distance myself from G. We met again when I was home for Christmas.
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I feel like I've been lied to because this was never mentioned and he had multiple different opportunities to say this to me, but it wasn't until I mentioned getting my tubes tied that he seemed to take my decision seriously. I really do care about and love him, but now I feel like I have to make a decision about the relationship.
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As much as I would like to stay in it, I don't know if that is going to happen." I would appreciate any advice you have to give on the matter. And if the decision is to break up, then any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Ideal outcome, I don't want to feel like a placeholder for him while he makes up his mind. And I know this is a big decision to make.
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My ideal outcome would be to have a fresh perspective on this so that I can make the best decision for me.
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And even though I now see that I did have feelings for G at this time, I told him that we could only be friends. We took some time apart, but reconnected during Easter break when he got a job opportunity in Finland. We started communicating more frequently, long phone calls and deep talks about the chaos surrounding our lives at the time.
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And I would be prepared for that though, in the future that you may break up now over this issue and you may see him a happy parent sometime in the future. But then again, it goes back to timing.
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Wasn't the right time. Oh, of course he all has kids now. He's a bunch of kids and a happy family. Well, he didn't want that with you. So you wouldn't have wanted that anyway with him if you want to look at it that way.
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When I finished my degree this summer, we decided to meet up in Italy for a concert with our favorite band. The second I saw G in Italy, I knew I was in love. But I would never admit it since he had started dating someone three weeks before. However, after the first day, he called the girl he was dating without my knowledge and called it quits, since he was also in love with me.
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Cuatro. Four. Four. Okay, jumps right in. My ex moved on to the next person within a week, and I have to see them every week. Okay, so I met my ex in a student sport association two years ago, and we were in a committed relationship for about one year. We had many problems and ultimately it wasn't working, which led to us breaking up at the beginning of the year.
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However, we're both still very active at the association. So we see and saw each other every week still, which led to us coming back together and we were in an on-off-ish relationship for the last couple of months. Now, do not get me wrong. I am happy the relationship is over, as we really were not working, but I am very hurt by how he is handling everything.
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It basically stopped as we stopped messaging each other. When he also stopped texting, I was relieved it was over, but I also had a bad gut feeling. He was very often sad and closed down in our relationship. That is basically how I've seen him most in the last year.
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Now he is very active again, being very loud and present, especially very loud in the group chats about all the fun things he is doing. Now, this already bothers me, as I feel like it is a facade, but whatever, I can get over it. However, as I stated, I had a bad gut feeling, already since we actually ended, about this girl in our association.
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But I calm myself down, thinking, well, he wouldn't do that. Go on within a week after we ended. However, last week I was in the pub with some people including the both of them. If they tried to hide that they are talking, they at least failed miserably because the flirting was way obvious. Mind you, I was right there all the time as we were a smaller group.
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That night I went home and slept so horribly because of it. The next morning I decided to ask my ex what was going on. as it felt so disrespectful to not tell me, but still do it right in front of me. Basically, my ex confirmed they were dating, but he says it only happened one week after we were finally done. But mind you, we never really discussed or officially closed it.
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It is now a month after we are officially done. I feel like this shows that he is just unable to be alone because he has also moved on to me really quick after his previous ex, which I only found out later in the relationship. Now it hurts that I have to see them every week at every social event.
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I generally do not want him back or anything like that for many reasons, but it still hurts me he would move on so quick.
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After that, we both admitted the feelings we had for each other and the trip basically turned into a romantic montage from a movie. The rest of the summer, we spent on talking over the phone, trying to figure out how we could start connecting our lives together. A week after booking a trip to visit him and meet his family, he calls me.
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The girl he was seeing before me is pregnant, and she's keeping the child. G's biggest wish in life is to be a dad, and he decided to be involved with the kid, which I very much agree with. However, he is also moving in with the girl to make things easier. It was a whirlwind of weeks where I felt like I was getting punches from every corner.
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Yeah, I mean, it's not ideal to watch your ex right in front of you moving on and doing all these things. But the thing we kept coming back to in this is I am happy the relationship is over.
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We were not working, X, Y, Z. And though, I mean, if you still had feelings, then this would be really difficult. But because you agree that we're better separate, it's just more kind of, I think, getting used to that new normal and also just not letting it affect you. Like you're on your own path now. So focus, stay focused, focus on whatever the, you know, the class or the work it is.
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And just keep ground on that because you're not going to have to be locked next to them forever.
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Try and redo your introduction for number five. Number five.
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Okay, here we go. Hey guys, really love the podcast. You helped one of my friends at some point last year, so I hope you can help me out with this. Me, 33 male, and my friend, 37 female, have been best friends for the past four years. At the same time, we have had on slash off again feelings for each other.
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We would both playfully flirt around, but the thought of an actual relationship never came up. They haven't crossed the bridge yet. We both loved each other, but we never said it out loud. I can't speak for her, but for me, it wasn't something I was too comfortable saying out loud. That all changed earlier this summer.
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He cut communication with me to then say the sweetest things and try to figure out how we could still make it work. He also admitted he was planning to propose on our upcoming trip. I see now that G was very much in shock. I love G so much and I truly think he could have been the one, but I don't see how I could be involved with someone that has a child on the way
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She came over to my house for a movie night, something we casually do a couple times a month. During the movie, she was getting real close to me, more so than usual. It never got uncomfortable. It was just surprising since she didn't seem like she was in a flirty mood. Once the movie ended, I asked her how she was doing. She looked at me and wondered if she could ask something. I said, sure.
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She's been thinking lately and wanted to know my true feelings about her. Obviously, this surprised me. I let her know I knew she loves me and that I felt the same way. Her eyes lit up. We discussed the idea of actually being together and thought it would be a great idea. Things have been, all caps, amazing. But lately, I haven't been as sure as I was in the beginning.
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I still and will always love her, but I am not sure if I am still in love with her." I don't want to break up with her, but I feel if I tell her the truth, she will feel I'm having doubts and think we should just break up. I don't want to lose her. How do you guys think I should handle this? Am I just acting ridiculous? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you.
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and lives in a different country, not to mention the moving in with baby mama. Help. Wow.
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Yeah, I mean, I think just to round us out, you know, it's not unnatural to have cold feet in a relationship. I think a lot of times, you know, especially early on before engagement, before marriage, or even after, I'm not sure, I'm not there yet. There's a lot of, oh, am I with the right person? Am I this? Am I that? I think that's just naturally human.
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But when it gets to the point where you are clearly saying, I'm not in love, I love, but I'm not in love, that's kind of a big step. And that's starting to tell you, you know, trust your gut with that feeling. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of up to you if you want to just be very upfront and be like, hey, this is how I'm feeling and blah, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes that can also ruin a good thing.
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So be sure of your feelings, I would say, before bringing up something this serious. Because once you say it, it's hard to ever come back. You can't unsay it.
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But we do know we have a good base. Best friends for the past four years. If you already have that down... Maybe it doesn't work romantically, but you at least have a really strong connection. So let us know where it goes. And that's romance.
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Yeah, it's a tough one. Ideal outcome, I don't want to leave my current life that I've built in Denmark. And with the child coming, he cannot leave Finland either. Is it possible to build something together with this distance, or should I just cut my losses?
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Okay, so tonight we're going to be diving into romance.
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Yeah. The last little bit of additional info we have, the girl G was seeing was quite heartbroken when he called it off, but has said that even if he decides he doesn't want to be involved with the child, she still wants to keep it. G has, however, also mentioned to me that she's open to reconnecting with him in a romantic capacity, which makes the whole moving in together even more complicated.
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I have this sinking feeling that both me and her are tiptoeing around, awaiting his decision, but he's not willing to make one.
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Yeah. I think you'll save yourself a lot of ups and downs and heartache and just being strung along would be just bad for this.
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Keep us in the loop. This is like when Netflix, the episode ends and it's like, Next, next. Yeah.
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That are in your country and, you know, everything all at once.
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Hello, FKS family. Looking for advice about my wedding. I 28 female and my fiance 27 male have been planning to get married in May of 2025. We booked a beautiful Airbnb and plan to host 30 of our closest friends and family members. My fiance and I are both shy and don't like being the center of attention. So a small and intimate wedding seemed ideal.
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We plan to have our siblings be bridesmaids and groomsmen and even plan for our nieces and nephews to be flower girls or ring bearers. Our nieces are so excited. They talk about being flower girls all the time and even practice at home. I'm writing in for advice because my fiance and I are considering changing our wedding plans.
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we have been starting to get overwhelmed by all of the work, planning, and logistics that will go into having a wedding out of state. We were planning on a lot of DIY, but now feel like our wedding weekend will be so much work. We're also finding that it will cost more than we anticipated.
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We have other financial goals that we are focusing on right now too, like traveling, buying a house, starting a family in the next few years. We want to change our plan to have a courthouse wedding in our home state and an intimate dinner to celebrate afterward. We still want to make it as special as we possibly can, just less stress, hassle, and more budget friendly.
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We would also plan to go on a really nice honeymoon and have professional pictures taken while we are there. My fiance and I are so tempted to change our plan. We feel that it makes a lot more sense for us as a couple. We would just feel awful about changing the plans of our guests who are already looking forward to our wedding.
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We would especially feel terrible about disappointing our nieces who have been looking forward to being flower girls. Any advice is truly appreciated.
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And we get a lot of stories of people that stay with this behavior, get married, and then they get married and they're really locked in and it gets 10 times worse. And so I already think if you have this, the writing is kind of on the wall. Don't overthink your gut and what it's telling you.
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Don't overthink it is our theme today.
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Yeah, definitely. It seems like a mismatch to me.
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I know. You sent me like 15, 16 pictures. Yeah.
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Yeah. Here's the problem with being super vague. What one is it?
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I'm like, okay, well, what do you need? Are you trying to go be a social worker? If you don't have the credentials for that, you're going to have to do some school. Can you work this job, get the experience and get the social work education or credentialing on the side? Give us more details, people.
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You have one life to live. One. Who's got to go to work and do your work every day? You. You need to pick a job that makes sense and that you love. Who cares if the other people in your life are disappointed that you left this job? So many people's parents want them to be doctors and lawyers and go make all this money. That's not the reality for a lot of people. You have to live your life.
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You have to do this job. Do something that you find fulfilling because otherwise life is going to be real long and you're going to get to the end of it wishing, God, what if I would have done that? I wish I would have tried to do that and that I would have gotten so much more back from that career. You can always get back to this job. It'll be there.
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If you exit in the right way and you don't drop the ball on them, you say, hey, I'll give you a month's notice and then I'm going to go to school. I'm going to do something else. I'm going to go work this other field.
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I'll train the next person in. I just, I need to see what if.
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No, you can't be so vague on us. You got to give us details and no one's going to recognize us.
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That person's already got their referral bonus. They're good.
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I think a year is totally fair. I'm glad you brought that up.
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You never know, it could change your whole life. Yeah, even if it's not that same company, you've got a year of experience, a competitor is going to want you. So go and try what you actually want to do. Don't overthink it.
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Number one. Hi, FKS gang. I really need everyone's advice. I, 49 female, am embarrassed to admit this, but I don't know how to drive. I tried learning in high school, but I was terrible at it, and I have horrible driving anxiety. Just the thought of getting behind the wheel nearly sends me into a panic attack.
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I do. After 30 days, it's abandoned property. It's yours. Open the box.
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He likes to waste stuff. Yeah, I'm not that person.
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Up until now, I've never really had an issue with not driving, as I usually take an Uber wherever I need to go. Recently, I met a wonderful woman online, 51 female, who I am really interested in dating, and she's interested in me too. The problem is, of course, is that I don't drive.
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My answer is... And then let me know what's in it.
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You don't even have to. She's already sent two.
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I think you've done more than enough. If he wanted it, he would have been there the day he found out it got delivered there. He doesn't care. I honestly, I would be concerned that it's one of those packages that you open it and it like explodes glitter everywhere. So when you open it, open it outside and then let us know what's in it.
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You never know. You never know. But open it up. Otherwise, bring it to Goodwill. If it's something you don't want or need, and it's useful. Because where's the line?
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Or if you really want to just, I don't know, whatever, put return to sender and hand it to your postal person. There you go.
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But I'd open the box first to see if there's anything you want in it. I don't know.
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But yeah, don't overthink this one. You don't have to keep reaching out to him to get the package back. You've done more than enough. If he wanted it, he would have came and gotten it.
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No. No, I've got a hard time getting to the P.O. box. But moving on.
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Number five. Okay, number five. Hi, Dad. I love the show and have been a fan since day one. I'm a 29-year-old female, and I just got out of a long relationship with, we'll call him F. I wasn't really into this guy, but it felt like a safe option. Here's the situation. There's an ex, we'll call him A, who has been in my life the last 10 years.
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Even through other relationships, A has always been in the back of my mind. Between relationships, we always find our way together again. A always told me I deserved better and when I had started to date F he tried to come back into my life. I didn't go for him and feel like I ended up wasting my time with F. I've been in love with A and I'm now single.
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We live about 20 minutes apart, which is fine, and I don't mind taking Ubers to meet her on dates, but she brought up recently that it bothers her that I don't drive, and it's the only issue she has with dating me.
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A tells me I will move on and find better but the thing is he is my forever. I feel that if I don't fight for this I will miss out on a once in a lifetime love. If I move on, he will always be in the back of my mind. Has anyone had this? I truly believe that if you love something, you fight for it. But am I naive in this scenario?
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I fear that I will either live in regret for not fighting, and I fear that no one will live up to the love that we have. It's truly an indescribable feeling. Ideal outcome, I want to feel this love forever. I would like to try with A, but scared I will have regret in either way it goes.
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Yeah. I feel like for me, if you don't give this a shot, you're going to continue to self-sabotage because that's what you've done the past couple of years and relationships you've tried. Like you've self-sabotaged because you've had an ex in the back of your mind who you still think is your person, your forever love, your once in a lifetime love. Like you have to give it a shot.
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You have to pursue it. Otherwise, I don't know if you're ever going to really move on.
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She does have some health issues that sometimes prevent her from being able to drive, and she was worried that if we were out and about somewhere and she starts to not feel good, then I'm not going to be able to drive us anywhere and that we are going to have to sit and wait around for her to feel better. I totally understand her concerns with that.
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Yeah, and I will just say like if A keeps giving you excuses like, oh, you're going to move on or you'll find better than me. Take that as your sign. If A wanted to be with you and you go to him and you say, I love you. Let's give this a shot. And he still has excuses. Not your person. If you wanted to, he would. And you need to be met with the same energy you're putting out there.
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Like you love this person. This is indescribable love. This is your person. And if you're not met with that, this isn't your person.
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Absolutely. No more excuses. We're going to give this a real shot. There's no more cat and mouse. There's no more have your cake and eat it too, where he gets the friends with benefits relationship with you in between relationships. And it's a have your cake, eat it too. You've been in some regards, treated as a placeholder where I'm in between relationships.
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I'm still looking for my person, but we work out pretty great in the meantime. And you love this person. If he's not going to give it a real shot, then you can't keep falling back into the net, the trap. Because it's hard. It's hard when you love someone and you think that's your person, but they're not giving you a fair shot, which just says he doesn't reciprocate the feelings in the same way.
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So quit overthinking it. Either you're in or you got to be completely out. But I think the only way you're going to be out is if you dive in.
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I've been there. I mean, God, I would drive six hours for a guy that I loved and he didn't even want to date me. So we've all been there a time or two. I mean, it's hard, but don't get taken advantage of because you do love and you love him and you're deserving of love. But if he wants to, he will.
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I'm willing to learn how to drive and really tackle this issue because we really do like each other and I want to give this a shot, as does she. If facing my fears of driving is going to help, then I will definitely do that. But I had two problems. First is obviously my extreme fear of driving. It absolutely terrifies me and I don't know how to get over that.
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Second, as I have no one to teach me how to drive, I looked into driving schools. They are super expensive and definitely not something that I can afford. So I'm conflicted on what to do. I really want us to work out and I don't want the fact that I don't drive to stand in the way of that.
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Yeah, I completely agree. You've only been talking, dating for a month and, that's too soon to let someone give you text anxiety and when they're going to text me back. And you shouldn't be sitting there waiting for a text back and getting anxious. If he wants to, he will. Despite having opposite schedules, if he wanted to find time to connect, he would. So it might not be you.
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And that's a hard thing to kind of get in your head where it's like, if someone's ghosting me or A situationship didn't work out. It's like, well, am I not enough? Like, that is so easy to fall into that way of thinking. But really, it's like, think about making friends or trying to interview for a job. It's like, you're not going to vibe with everyone. And how do you know you vibe with someone?
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You date, you talk, you see. It might just not work, but it's not something to take personally. So I would do what you said. I'd honestly keep it really casual and just say, I think our schedules are a little different. I'd love to prioritize us finding time to go on some dates and connect. But if you can't do that, I'm going to go back on Hinge.
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But I'm also stumped as to how to learn how to drive when I have no one to teach me and I cannot afford driving lessons at any of the schools near me. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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You're not always going to have class forever. The bottom line is this person also needs to make reciprocal effort. You're only a month in. And if there's not a mutual effort, a mutual excitement, a mutual respect...
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don't overthink it and just move on to the next bird that you know don't put all your eggs in that basket if he's gonna put in the effort see where this goes you know you do get excited when you start dating someone new and there's that that initial crush and you want to talk to them and you want to spend time with them but it's got to be reciprocated let me ask you a
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Yeah, I think it could cause him to wake up, but you also need to do it for the right reasons. You can't do it to get him to wake up. You can't use it as a manipulation tactic because it could come off that way. You're not going to put time into me. I'm going to see other people. Well, that really is the way it is.
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But you can't use it as manipulation. And if you say that, you have to go on other dates. Absolutely. You can't say that with the intention of saying it just to get him to buck up.
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Yeah. I think you absolutely should see other people.
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I mean, it shouldn't be this hard to connect and canceling on you once to hang out with friends or family. If something really important came up, sure. But if it's happened multiple times within a month, If he wanted to, he will.
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That's honestly five dates in a month is pretty good, girl. Pretty good.
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Yeah, absolutely. Don't overthink it.
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Number seven. Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I've been binging FKS since I finished pretty much every single THT episode, and I absolutely love hearing your advice. I never thought I would write in, but I've been struggling with something lately, and I could use your opinion.
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I, 24 female, moved to a new state in August of 2024 for a job. I was offered the job right out of college and was terrified for the move. I am over 1,000 miles away from home and all of my friends and family. But luckily, I found an amazing group of friends here and I've been making the most of it. I know I don't plan on staying here forever.
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I'm from the South, and I am now living in the Midwest, so the winter weather is pretty unbearable for me. I would also like to be closer to my family in the future. Here's my issue. I'm in a stage of my life where I really want to date and start looking for a long-term partner.
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I haven't dated very many people in the past, so a lot of this is new to me, but it feels like something that I really want now. I started dating a guy that I met on an app last November. We had a great time together and got along so well. Fast forward to March of this year, and we mutually decided that we needed to break up.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Neither of us wanted to, but the reality is that I want to move away from here eventually, within the next year and a half or so, and he does not. My question for you is, how can I navigate dating when I know that I don't plan on sticking around forever? I don't want a casual, non-committed relationship. I truly want to find my person and look for something that could be long-lasting.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
But it seems impossible when there's so much uncertainty of where I will end up. I feel like if I continue to date here, that I will constantly run into this issue. Who would want a timestamp on a relationship? I'm upfront with the information that I plan on moving away eventually, but it feels like that will deter pretty much everyone from wanting to date me.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I don't blame them because I know it would probably deter me too if roles were reversed. I'm also very wary of long distance because I've never done it myself and I've only witnessed it through my friends' relationships. It seems incredibly difficult and I don't think I'm the kind of person that could handle it.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I don't even know where I might end up next and for how long, so there is so much uncertainty in this whole situation. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Is it selfish of me to keep dating here given the circumstances? Ideal outcome, I can date and potentially find a long-term partner without the constant fear that it will end once I move away.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I think you wait a little bit. I don't think it needs to be first date. Just so you know, in a year and a half, maybe a year, maybe two years, I'm going to move. I think you see if you even like this person first. You could wait until date number three. There's not a lot of investment there. And you could say, hey, you know, do you ever plan on moving? Would you consider moving out of the Midwest?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I really want to live somewhere warmer, closer down south where I'm from. What are your thoughts on that?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
That's the reality though that you're putting on yourself by saying, I want to date. I want to find someone seriously, but I also want to move. You can't have your cake and eat it too in this situation. So you either need to put yourself out there and take that risk of maybe falling in love with someone. And then they don't want to move.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Even if someone tells you on the first date, yeah, I'm open to moving. The reality is you spend a year of your life with them and it's like, hey, I'm looking at places in North Carolina. Are you down? And they could say, actually, no. And you've spent a year with that person. It's the risk you're going to take unless you literally only exclusively start dating people
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
On the app, you set your location to where you want to move to.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I think you can ask that. When is the question?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
She is leaving. She's set on leaving a year, year and a half. Okay. Doesn't want to live in the Midwest, which where are you living in the Midwest? It's beautiful there.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I'd give it three dates. Okay. I'd give it three dates and get to know the person a bit more and see if you vibe and then say, hey, have you ever considered moving?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You are. I mean, me and Justin went through this. When we first started dating, Justin had just moved from New York to LA to do music. And I told him after grad school, I'm out. I'm leaving. I'm going back to Minnesota. That's where I want to go. And he was scared shitless. But you know, you fall in love and then you get stuck in LA because he can't move.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, I think we are both on the same page now of like, hey, you know, five years, seven years, we will be back in Minnesota. I love Minnesota.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
And that's, that's also a thought I had. Like you could spend the next year, year and a half dating and not meet your person at all. Like that is dating. That is love. Love is putting yourself out there and taking a risk and maybe you'll get hurt. And that's kind of just love and dating.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah. So just go out there and start dating and you have the conversation early on, early on, you know, first date, third date, whatever you want to do. But I definitely think it's a conversation you have sooner rather than the six month mark, the nine month mark. But the thing about relationships is you don't know until you're really in it.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You know, you could meet someone and you on the third date say, hey, are you into moving? And they say, yeah, I am actually. But you make it to month nine and you move in together before you move and you don't even like this person anymore after moving in with them. And then you break up anyways. Like,
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You can try to plan as much as you want for your life, but sometimes it just doesn't go according to plan and you only figure it out by living life and doing it. So just start dating, you know, all these other writings today. Start living a life that makes you happy, that makes you fulfilled, and just don't overthink it because life has a way of working itself out.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, we're very diverse on our takes today, and you're going to have lots of comments as well. For those listening, if you can relate in any way, if you have any advice, tips, tricks, put them in the comments.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
You might be hitting a gavel down there like you're a judge, but we are not morally superior here. We're just giving some takes and the community comes together too.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, no mention of where. I will say, though, you do need to typically go through a driver's education course and have a couple behind-the-wheel lessons before you can get your permit.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
So that's how it worked back in 2010 when I got my license.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, but I do think that's an idea to consider is you might have to, you know, I don't know, do what you're going to do. I'm not going to tell you to do something one way or another. But it might be good to just like sit in the front seat of the car in an empty parking lot and get comfortable and maybe, you know, drive around in the parking lot or dirt road.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah, but it is scary. There are a lot of options out there. And I get the driving schools might be expensive. But something I would consider is there's a lot of driving, like specializing therapists that will go into the car with you and kind of work through some of your fears. There's fear of driving and anxiety treatment programs. So this might be something to do first.
Father Knows Something
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Your insurance could even cover it because it is so expensive. negatively impacting your life. And you have to figure out the language you can use to justify it to a doctor. But it's preventing me from going to medical appointments. It's preventing me from living my daily occupations. It's impacting me negatively for my job and relationships and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah. Well, and that's the other aspect of this too. It's cars are expensive. You know, you can finance them, but you just have to look into what is feasible for you and select the best course of action. See if your insurance will cover some classes. You know, AAA has a driving school that's pretty affordable.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
So maybe if you can find one where you have to go a little further to have an affordable class, that's something you have to do. But any last minute ideas here for this one?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
He's got to put a lot more episodes in before he makes the wall. Okay.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I think to the comment here, just the thought of getting behind the wheel nearly sent me into a panic attack. And if that's the case, you don't want to put this added pressure on the new relationship. I think look into the therapy, look into courses and let the ball be in your court a little bit.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Don't overthink that. There's so many people. If someone asked me to teach them how to drive, I'd be like, sure, let's go. I think I'd be very good.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah, you got to earn your spot. Holly did some time.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Yeah. Don't overthink it. Driving is, it can be really fun and you'll get there. I know you'll get there.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I hate driving. I'm going to be honest. I wish I lived in a very public, transportation-friendly city. I don't like driving, but it is a nice thing to have. Just to have. But if I could never drive again?
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Oh my God, no. But moving on to number two.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Do the time. We are doing the time today. We're putting some hours in today. Okay. We've got a really good theme kind of coming from the vibe of like, don't overthink it. Trust your gut. You're having some intuition. You're writing a response, you know, so it's kind of already there. Don't overthink it.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Trigger warning on this one, though. It does contain mention of ED. I, 29 female, have known my boyfriend, 31 male, for seven years, dating the last two. We have had an amazing relationship, both as friends and as a couple. I love him dearly, and I can't imagine my life without him. But clearly I'm writing in because there is a barrier to that.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
He has said hurtful things to me in the past and has demonstrated values that directly contradict my own. For example, saying he doesn't want to move in with me because my eating disorder might disrupt his peace at home. Refusing to apologize for hurting my feelings or making me cry. belittling me in front of others. However, when I bring these things up, he does grow and changes.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
He has started therapy because I asked and he has been able to stop behaviors that have hurt me in the past. I feel like he does everything right and I can tell he loves me fully for who I am. The problem is I can't get over this feeling that he's not right for me. and I believe I'm struggling to forgive him for the things he has said and done.
Father Knows Something
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I feel guilty being in the same room because he looks at me with love, and I know I don't feel the same as I once did. Is it possible to change things? Ideal outcome? I want to know how I can tell whether or not this is something I can salvage. I have been pushing these feelings for six months. It's like when he's away, I feel heartbroken but resolved in my decision to leave.
Father Knows Something
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And when we are together again, I can't bear the thought of leaving or doing something that may hurt him. Additional info, when he told his friends and people who I had considered my friends that we started dating, they told him to dump me, and he did. For several weeks. When we finally did get back together, we were definitely on the high of proving everyone wrong.
Father Knows Something
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I feel like that whole situation robbed us of the opportunity to closely analyze whether or not we were going to work as a couple versus being better off as friends. I wonder if I ignored red flags that may have signaled a lack of compatibility, and sometimes it feels like I'm in love with and committed to a person who just isn't right for me.
Father Knows Something
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I mean, I think she already knows, though, given the fact when he's gone, I feel heartbroken but resolved in my decision to leave.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
I think that's all fine and dandy, but you also... You can like break up and truly just feel good in your decision. You don't like for those out there where you're like, well, I think I want to break up. Like I'm not really in love with him in the same way. Let me break up and then let me see. Let me wait. Let me, you know, test my feelings.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
It's also fine to completely trust your gut and just call it. you know, if people hurt you so much and you don't think you can ever get over that or ever trust them with your feelings again, it's okay to not as well. And I think it's interesting. He broke up with you based on his friends telling him to, you know, he was 29 at the time he did that, which is pretty emotionally immature. He's not 18.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
Or it's a tiny problem. No radar required, but you're still overthinking it.
Father Knows Something
165: Father Knows: Don't Overthink It..
He was 29. So I think you just move on. I think someone who refuses to move in with you because of, you know, a disorder you have, and I hope you're working on it, but someone who's going to belittle you in front of others, it's not a person that... values you and cares about your heart. And I think these are warning signs.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Canada healthcare, which I've heard can be very frustrating as well, but... Because you were bashing the American, thinking it was the American healthcare. Our healthcare sucks.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, but it's mostly like standing up for yourself. Like, just... Well, I think that's very good.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, and I think that's kind of, I mean, that ideal outcome, to have more information, to figure out how to be patient. I don't think you need to be patient.
Father Knows Something
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It is. It's very scary to be faced with such a big unknown. But your providers, regardless of the healthcare system and the state country you're in, should be answering your questions. Keep calling. As annoying—and we shouldn't have to do this— but keep calling. And I also think with this one, your health is most important. So if you're planning this big wedding, I wouldn't stress about that.
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You know, maybe get married small, just the two of you, but focus on your health first.
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I really haven't started planning my wedding.
Father Knows Something
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Yeah. But wishing you well. Keep us posted. Let us know how it goes. But keep calling them. Keep calling. I'd literally set a timer every hour. Just give them a jingle. They're going to be so sick of you. They're going to call you right back.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I know. I think it's three. Hi, Father Knows gang. I love this podcast and Two Hot Takes. I don't speak to my dad anymore, so I found this podcast very healing. Now onto my issue. The situation happened over a year ago, but it still bothers me. I'm a 28-year-old woman and my boyfriend, Daniel, is 34. We've been together for two years now, but this happened about six months into our relationship.
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One of his friends, Jake, cheated on his girlfriend of two years, Sophie, and he told Daniel about it. At the time, I had only met Jake and Sophie once. I was living in a different province for two months for a work project, so Daniel and I were long distance during this time period.
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Daniel told me about it when it happened, but he said he tried to discourage Jake and was upset with him for cheating. However, he ultimately felt that he couldn't control his friend's actions. Despite this, Daniel still went to a party where Jake and the woman he was cheating with were present, which really upset me.
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Daniel admitted he didn't feel great about going, but he said he had nothing better to do since we were long distance at the time. He claimed he was still discouraging Jake from cheating the whole time. According to him, Jake's cheating only lasted about a month and ended shortly after the party. When Daniel told me about it, I felt really uneasy knowing all this information.
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He made it clear that I couldn't tell anyone as it would break his trust with Jake and, in turn, damage our relationship. He even said it would end our relationship because it would be a betrayal of trust. I probably wouldn't have said anything anyways since I barely knew Jake or Sophie, but the way Daniel framed it made it feel even more restrictive. I understand his perspective.
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It's not really his business what his friend does, and he did try to talk him out of it. Still, it felt really icky. Also, Daniel and Jake are part of a larger all-male group, and Daniel didn't want to insert himself into Jake's mistakes and risk losing his other friendships over it. Fast forward to now. I've spent time with Sophie and Jake several times, and I actually really like them both.
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I feel like Sophie and I could become really good friends, even outside of our relationships. Jake is also nice and funny on his own, and we've always had a good time when we hang out. However, I'm hesitant to get closer to either of them because I know about the cheating from almost two years ago.
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On one hand, I know it's not my business, but I would feel guilty growing closer to Sophie while keeping this secret from her. Their relationship does seem to be in a great place now, and I don't want to lose Sophie as a friend or be responsible for breaking them up, since the messenger often gets blamed.
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Ideal outcome would be that Jake had already told Sophie about the cheating and they have already worked through it on their own and I can become better friends with them and not be worried about keeping the secret. But honestly, I don't know what an ideal outcome would be.
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Even if they worked it out already, Sophie might be hurt in the future if she were to ever find out I knew and never said anything.
Father Knows Something
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This is stuff I really struggle with because I think me, you know, most of us, all of us listening, because I know our fam, I think we try our best to just be good people and keep our side of the street clean and all that. So when you know something that you know is wrong and you know the other person doesn't, you know, know... It's hard.
Father Knows Something
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I think I would maybe ask your boyfriend some questions like, hey, you know, has Jake cheated on Sophie since? Has Jake still cheated on Sophie? Like, if that were the case, I do think she should know. Her health could be at risk. She shouldn't be with a shitty dude stuff. I don't know. But if he's genuinely being a good guy and hasn't cheated, maybe you don't stick your foot in it.
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Oh, me? Because that would help make my decision.
Father Knows Something
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Hello, all. Long time listener. First time writing in. I apologize in advance. To the meat and potatoes. So my boyfriend, 38, Aaron, and I, 32, have been together for two years now. Everything has been great and we communicate well most of the time. But there's one issue that we haven't been able to figure out. And that's the fact that I have a cat. I've had him for about seven years.
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So if you... See, and that's not... I wouldn't want my best friend or my friend, even an acquaintance... If he's cheated on her before, what's to say they don't get married and he cheats again?
Father Knows Something
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I would ask the questions and then I would say, hey, this is not something that's okay. I think it speaks to a bigger issue here where... Honestly, if my boyfriend, my fiance, my person was like, oh yeah, you know, my buddy's cheating on his girl. It lasted a month. It wasn't a one time, oops, they got too drunk and slept together. This lasted a month.
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But it's even worse that it was a month and it's like, yeah, I was encouraging him not to cheat, but it's like, You still went and hung out with them. I don't know his character, but to me, I'm like, I'm not feeling great. Is your buddy covering for you and I don't know about it? That is where my mind would go.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
So I would sit down and have a conversation and be like, hey, is Jake being good to Sophie now? It could help you come to a conclusion on what you want to do is what I'm saying. And whether it's you need to tell Jake he's got to come clean, otherwise I'm going to tell Sophie. And if that hurts our relationship, then so be it. That's just, I'm not going to be that person.
Father Knows Something
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I think you can let your boyfriend be that person. Jake told the boyfriend.
Father Knows Something
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I think cheating is one of those things that if you know, you should tell that person because in their mind, they have this perfect relationship and they've been with this guy for years and this is their future. And if I found out today that Justin cheated on me, I wouldn't want to move forward because at least not in the same timeline that we are.
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It's not to say they can't work it out and fix it, but it's not fair that she doesn't know.
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Huh. What do you guys think about a letter? What do you guys think about even telling her? Does she need to know? Am I just in my head about this and maybe my moral compass is skewed? Does it not matter? Does she not stick her foot in it?
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And that's kind of manipulative. Don't tell me. You told me. Yeah.
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Aaron has expensive furniture and doesn't want to risk a cat ruining it if we move in together. Understandable. I've suggested possibly putting a glass protective topper on the tables and that I would maintain claw covers to prevent the cat from scratching. But we're still at a standstill. His compromise has been that the cat would just live in the guest bedroom and only that room.
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Oh, this is a tough one. I really want to see all of your comments on this one. What do you think our writers should do? Tell Sophie, make her boyfriend, go to Jake. Jake needs to come clean. It's going to be tricky.
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Mm-hmm. He was really nice. A really, really nice guy.
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My mom raised me as a sole parent. When I was an infant, however, she suffered with addiction and I was put in a foster care before school age. I never knew I had a dad as there was no one other than my mom on my birth certificate and I had never heard about him. When I was 10, I got a letter from my birth father from a rehab facility.
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It turns out he had been an addict for the past 15 years, but had now gotten sober. It was confusing to me, but I was overall excited. I remained in foster care, though, as I had been placed in a long-term placement and I felt at home, so I did not want to leave and go live with some random person. My father lived three and a half hours away by car, which is relevant. Fast forward to now.
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I am in my early 20s, and my dad has remained clean. As the years went on, I see my dad around three times a year, but he never really makes an effort to see me. However, I make an effort to contact him. He has turned his life around and gotten a high paying job, has started a new family and has three houses.
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He always brags about how much money he has, upwards of $200,000, in his bank account, which he likes to show me. I'm in nursing school trying to get an education, living alone since 17 as I couldn't stay with my foster family, and safe to say I am struggling. Rent here is about 60% of my income since I don't have the time to work full-time due to studies.
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I have to do an unpaid placement soon, and I've asked him to cover a portion of my rent, $100 a week. He makes $1,000 a week after taxes so that I can stay where I am. He has told me to get a full-time job and that he won't be helping me. I'm fed up at this point because honestly, knowing who he is is just disappointing.
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I would rather not have a dad than have a dad but not be able to have a father-daughter relationship. I'm thinking of cutting him off, but I also don't want to cause him to relapse. Am I being entitled or overreacting? Ideal outcome, clarity on whether I'm asking too much and advice on how I should proceed going forward.
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And he said, no, go get a full-time job. What do you, I mean, three houses, 200K in the bank account.
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But I don't find that to be fair. We keep circling around this without any resolutions, and it's driving me insane. I love Aaron, and I see a future with him. But this is our Alamo. He doesn't understand what it's like to own a pet and claims I'm choosing mine over him. I want to move forward with our relationship, move in together, and hopefully get married one day.
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I have gotten help so many times in my life. I mean, as recent as 2020, you know, when COVID hit, I was unable to get a job after graduating with a prestigious degree. And it's going to open doors in health care. And I couldn't get a job because of COVID. And I had a California food stamp card. And my mom, you know, despite struggling herself, was sending me $1,000 a month to live.
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And this person is just asking for $100 a week and he's making $1,000. He's got $200K in the bank account. He's happy to brag about it. He didn't pay child support or what sounds like assist you when he should as a parental obligation. I mean, it's not really... About the money. And I know, you know, some would be like, yeah, no, you're cutting him off over $100 a week.
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But it's like, no, it's not about that. It's that he's so self-centered and selfish and delusional. And he doesn't care for my well-being. I mean, it's understandable that you would rather not have a dad than have a dad but not be able to have a father-daughter relationship. And there's not really a relationship if you're the one always reaching out, if there's no effort on his end.
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And you're asking for support, a little bit of extra help.
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As you're grinding. It's not like you're not doing anything, right? It's not like you're...
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Living in your mom's place and not working. You're grinding. You're working, full-time student, trying to get a nursing degree to set yourself up, and you can't even be bothered to help me?
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I wouldn't want a relationship with him either, and I think that's so fair for you.
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No, and I feel like for him, you know, addiction is really hard. It is a disease, but you are not responsible for his sobriety. He's an adult.
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Mic drop right there. Like, don't worry about him.
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You deserve so, so much more than this. You have gone through such trying times as a child and look at how far you've come and what you're doing for your life and your future. Absolutely amazing. So don't bring energy like this into your life. You know, you reaching out to him is probably an ego boost for him. He sounds extremely self-centered. Maybe a bit narcissistic. I don't know.
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Not a psychiatrist, psychologist. But it's giving something. I can't even imagine. I'm like, he should be embarrassed. He should be embarrassed showing your kid your 200K bank account and then not helping them just make it through school. It's kind of shameful.
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That's just my thoughts. But keep us posted. Very excited for you in nursing school. Please update us with how things go.
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But it almost feels like he's using the cat as a ploy to not move in together. What do you think would be the best course of action? I would appreciate any advice. Ideal outcome would be that we find a way to either come to a compromise and move forward. Additional info, his mom hates cats. And upon first meeting me, asked if I had any.
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Number five. Hi, Dad, Morgan, and Justin. I, 29 female, have been with my husband, 28 male, for almost 10 years. When we got together, we were young and had very little experience dating in a healthy way and with life in general.
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Around our nine-year mark of being together, my husband, I'll call him T, and I had a conversation about our wants and needs and experiences, which led to the topic of sexual orientation and feeling like we missed out on a lot of experiences in our 20s. and the way we feel about each other.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
We decided, mutually, to experiment with polyamory and date other people while still maintaining our marriage, which is going incredibly well for our relationship. This brings me to my issue. I've been dating my boyfriend B for a while now and have very strong feelings for him, and T has been dating his girlfriend K for a while now, and they seem to have a very strong relationship as well.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I've always been very close with my dad. However, we live in different states. We've always maintained consistent contact since we reconnected when I was around 21, divorce parent problems. And he is so good to my husband. That being said, he is also quite traditional when it comes to most things, including relationships.
Father Knows Something
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I really want to share this part of my life with him because I'm incredibly happy with my boyfriend in addition to my marriage, and I feel like they would get along really well. But I'm afraid of him being disappointed or judging me and it causing problems in our relationship.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Additionally, my stepmother already doesn't like me and has caused some strain on the relationship with my father when I was a young kid, which I've been better at dealing with in adulthood, but this feels like too big of a deal to overcome negative feelings from my father that may be exacerbated by his wife.
Father Knows Something
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I want to be open and honest with my dad because I love him and he's the person I want to talk to about everything. But I'm so scared that this will be too much for him and he thinks I'm weird or gross or that it means I've failed in my marriage.
Father Knows Something
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Ideal outcome, to be able to be honest with my dad and maintain our relationship with him being happy with me so my boyfriend can meet my family the way I get to meet his. He's not poly, so I'm the only partner he's introducing to family.
Father Knows Something
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Additional info, I'm a really anxious person, so I could be overthinking the entire thing, but my dad is typically super laid back, and I've never seen him be reactionary or overly emotional in either way, positive or negative.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah. I'm not super familiar with the dynamics and I think it's very relationship specific.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
She then looked at Aaron and said, you don't have any cats, right? Let's keep it that way. She's very involved in his decor and will constantly buy things for him.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I mean, you could say the same though about her husband if they got divorced. A lot of people take divorce as we are done, you are no longer family.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
It's hard. And it's, it's hard to know without literally being able to ask like, Hey, you know, what is the end game? Is this the end game for you? You stay with your husband forever and you both just have additional partners. Like, is that, is that end game?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, I mean, people can make this work. It's not impossible, but I definitely think there's probably a hierarchy, right, for a lot of people in poly relationships where it's like, okay, my husband comes first, then my boyfriend. Like, I would choose my husband first.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
You could definitely give him a choice in the matter. I think that's fair. I also think... It is an interesting thing because it's like you want to share your other boyfriend because you're excited and this is a part of your life and you feel like you shouldn't have to hide a part of your life. But at the same time, is this really anyone else's problem?
Father Knows Something
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Does anyone else deserve to have their life complicated? And does it complicate anyone's life? Or is it irrelevant because it doesn't directly affect them? But, you know, what's the harm in them knowing? It's a very, it's a complicated issue.
Father Knows Something
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You know, if this is something that is still a little more recent, like you've only been dating for two months, maybe wait. Maybe wait until you hit the nine-month mark or a year. Because I do think... I think that can make a difference. And you have to imagine the worst case scenario, right? Like when I'm faced with really challenging things, that's what I try to do.
Father Knows Something
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Like, okay, worst case scenario here is your dad is uncomfortable with it. It hurts your relationship and you don't talk as much. Is that something you're willing to face right now for the time you've been with your boyfriend in order to share that you have a boyfriend? Or do you wait a little longer? Make sure it's serious.
Father Knows Something
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Make sure you and your husband aren't going to close the relationship again. And then after a year, then you tell your dad. This guy, your boyfriend, could wake up tomorrow and say, hey, I actually don't want to share you. I'm not okay with this. Cause he's not Polly. So, you know, you're facing a lot of new dynamics and while you might be excited to share, maybe wait it out a little bit more too.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Cause we don't know how long they've been dating. We just have for a while now.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
People are going to be in the comments. Maybe there's some out there that have gone through this themselves and can chime in, but moving on to number six for us.
Father Knows Something
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Hi, all. I've been listening to THT and Father Knows throughout college, and it has truly been something that has kept me going through these four years. I'm graduating in the spring. I would love your opinions and advice on some roommate issues. I think maybe my roommate is slowly copying me.
Father Knows Something
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For some context, my roommate, I'll call her A, moved into our apartment this past fall as a third-year transfer. She's very sweet and extroverted, but I wouldn't consider us best friends.
Father Knows Something
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After a few months of living together, I've been noticing some behavior that mimics mine, and I can't tell if I'm going crazy. The first instance was a random weekend I decided to walk to a coffee shop nearby our apartment to get some work done. I did not see her that morning, so I hadn't told her where I was going, but she does have my location.
Father Knows Something
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Not even 20 minutes after I arrived, she came in and sat down at a different table to do some work. She eventually saw and acknowledged me, but I later left to find a different shop with charging areas. When I went home, she again arrived 20 minutes after I did. I questioned why she was at that coffee shop. She admitted it was her first time ever going, and she just had the idea to go.
Father Knows Something
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Another instance was a time when I had posted an Instagram story showing off my stir-fried udon. I packed it up and left no trace at home, but I knew she had seen parts of that on my Instagram story. Later that day, my other roommate, B, told me that A had made some stir-fried udon, and when she asked if she had seen me make it earlier that day, she said no.
Father Knows Something
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The weird thing is, I have never seen her make stir-fried udon before, and she cooks fairly often. Lastly, today, B told A I was going to get Korean rice cakes with some friends, and suddenly A gets the idea to make Korean rice cakes at home. I know these coincidences might seem like just coincidences, but I can't help feeling overly suspicious of her actions.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Do I approach her about it, or just let it go? Is this weird, or am I just overthinking? Any advice is appreciated.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I'm getting the vibe she just wants to be your friend and is going about it in a very odd way. Is it uncomfortable? Yeah. Is this how I would recommend making friends? No. And it's really weird. It is weird. And you could test her to really make sure she's copying you. I don't think you need to, though. These are very strange coincidences. It's clear she's copying you.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
And so that's what I think you can say. You can say, hey, like, you know, it's kind of odd that I seem to make this food and then you make it right after or you hear I'm getting something and then you do it yourself. Like, is there a reason? Are you just like really interested in that? Or like, do you want to come with me sometime? Like, I don't know, like you could extend a branch.
Father Knows Something
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You're graduating in a couple months, chalk it up as a weird roommate situation and move on. But I think this is someone that's just looking to make a friend and is doing it in a very weird way. And if it gets to be worse where she's dressing like you, cutting her hair like you, then yeah, that's not okay.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
That's kind of feeling almost like a stalker, but it's all around food and showing up at a coffee shop and honestly stop sharing your location with her. Like if that's something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don't share your location with her. Like there's really, for someone you're not, yeah, for someone you're not super close friends with, I don't think that's necessary to do. I agree.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Dear Jerry, Justin Morgan, and the rest of THT and Father Knows Something fam, I am a 22-year-old trans man living in a red state. I'm writing in because I'm lost and I'm scared. You don't have to share this on the podcast, but you totally can. As you know, politics lately have not taken well to many minorities. I know that trans people are not alone in the fear of living in this country.
Father Knows Something
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I was supposed to have top surgery on March 3rd of this year. Unfortunately, due to the current political climate, my insurance continues to deny my surgery. To say my depression has gotten worse is an understatement. I can barely look at myself in the mirror and thoughts I haven't had in years have crept back in. The fact that I can't be who I am has broken me a bit.
Father Knows Something
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I am in therapy and just trying to make it day by day. I guess I'm writing in because I know I'm not alone, but I think I need to be reminded, and I think others do too. Jerry, you have lived a lot more life than I have. Do you think there's any hope? Right now, I struggle to see any. I'm scared for what could happen. Ideal outcome?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Honestly, my ideal outcome would be to feel safe and feel like there is hope in this country. I would like to not feel so alone.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, you want to see who you feel you are in the mirror.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
It will happen. And, you know, I fully believe gender affirming care is health care. And a lot of people are like, well, you shouldn't. It's just changing so much. It's like people get nose jobs. That's gender affirming care. Yeah, you had multiple nose jobs. Look at that beautiful nose you have now.
Father Knows Something
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People get their lips done. Women get breast implants because they want to feel more womanly. Like there's so many different things that are gender affirming care. And I will say right now, like this is temporary. You will get your top surgery. Don't feel like it's
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Don't feel defeated. Don't feel like it's, you know, not. And I can't even imagine, you know, feeling like maybe I'm implying a lot here because I don't know, but maybe feeling like you're trapped in a body that's not yours yet. And I imagine that would be a struggle, but don't let that stop you from feeling who you truly are inside. It will come. You got to be hopeful.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I mean, I think we've talked about this quite a bit where it's like, God, the world feels so fucked up. But the world felt fucked up in the 60s. It felt fucked up in the 80s. And
Father Knows Something
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I mean, the Holocaust. We've got genocides going on right now all over the world. I mean, it is... It is heavy, but I do think the pendulum does swing forward and we will get better.
Father Knows Something
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With yourself, with other people, find a good support network. I did see in the additional outcome that they are in therapy, which is amazing, but find other people you can connect with, you know,
Father Knows Something
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I know. And I know that is like a lot of people would say like that is a privilege to be able to do. Like you might not be able to afford it right now, but maybe that is a priority for you. Like maybe you do start saving and you move to a city that more aligns with you.
Father Knows Something
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Anyone out there that's struggling, you know, mental health is something I think a lot of people are struggling with right now. And rightfully so. World is hard. I mean, life feels like it's unaffordable for a lot of people. Like it's not easy for a lot of people out there, but We need you guys. So look after yourself. Take care of yourselves. This is a good time to check in with friends.
Father Knows Something
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If you're out there listening and you're like, I haven't checked in with my friend in a while. I miss them. Reach out to them today. It really starts with us and our circles and our communities. So really, really look after each other and be the change you wish to see in the world. Or whatever that happy saying is. That's Maya Angelou, maybe?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Put a happy quote in the comments today. I'd love that. Spread some cheer.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I'm hitting my second wind. I could go again.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Wow. I'm feeling a little lack of coffee pain. Wow. That's crazy.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Good night for dad. Thank you all so, so, so much for being here. Head over to Patreon. We've got some amazing stuff this month. You're having a good time in the backyard this month, huh?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
It is officially being scheduled for... Sunday, March 23rd.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
So dad will start first. He'll have some private time. And then we go into THT and we read some Reddit stories.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
But other than that, show us some love in the comments. We want to hear your thoughts. Tell a friend. And until next time. Good night. Bye, guys.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I mean, you're kind of already there, though, to be honest. I think when you commit to an animal, I hope that people are committing to that animal for that animal's life. Your cat's only seven. Your cat, realistically, if it's seven, could live another 20 years.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Not live with Aaron for 20 years. To put a cat in a little guest bedroom and that's the only room that cat gets?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
That's not fair. I think you're offering very reasonable compromises of, I'll do glass protectors. I'll put caps on the claws. The cat won't be able to scratch at all. You're giving very reasonable compromises. And honestly...
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Junior goes inside at night and that's not a thing.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
No, I think Aaron's got to go. At this point, it really is Aaron or the cat. You're offering compromises. You're offering solutions. He's still saying no. It's not even an allergy.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Why? You love the cat. The cat is perfect with you.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I think that's a shitty way to treat an animal that you agreed to take on.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
If you really think this guy is worth it, then sure, you could try that. I would never get rid of... my animal for a boyfriend of two years. For a dude? I mean, try living together first. If you want to give your cat to your parents for six months and move in with Aaron and see how it really goes, sure, but... I wouldn't. I would not want this relationship.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Okay. And then, you know, it does work out. You love living together. Your cat, you're done. Well, you're done with the cat and you're not going to get a cat again. No pets. I mean, you have to look at the bigger picture. If you're a cat person and you want to have a cat, you won't have a cat again with this person.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, I just don't see this being sustainable.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Change it out for dog, though. Like, you're not a cat person, so you can't really rationalize with this one.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
So you're just not, this isn't, don't come to dad for pet advice.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah. And I think I'm just having a hard time with this one because I look at this as... You're offering so many great solutions. And he's still saying, no, no, no. Meanwhile, there's people out there that would be allergic to cats and go through years of allergy shots to be able to live with your cat. I just don't see the point. If you love your cat, you love your animal. Like,
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Yeah, maybe you'll have better advice since you got better glasses and... I'll never know. Have better vision. Maybe it won't even be 2020 in hindsight. It's 2020 vision from the jump.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Some people's animals are their kids. Would you give up your kid to date someone? Probably not. So I just think you really got to ask yourself. But this one, this one's really making me angry.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I think in this one, you got to stand up for yourself, stand up for your cat, move in with me with the cat, give it a go, see if it wrecks furniture. And if it doesn't, then, hey, we're good.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Then can't live with the cat. And then you have a tough choice to ask yourself, do we break up? Or does the cat get a new home? I wouldn't be okay with that one.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
There might not be compromise. Let's say that.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
All I'm saying is if someone was writing in and saying, hey, my boyfriend asked me to get rid of my kid.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Exactly. And what advice would you give someone?
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I'm giving the camera quite the look. Take your own advice.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
I got the movie prize. Okay, moving on to number two. Number two.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
Hi, Jerry, Morgan, and Justin. I've been listening to Father Knows and THT since day one, and I'm so thankful for all of you. Okay, on to my problem. I will try to keep this brief. In the past month, I had been experiencing some sudden vision loss in my right eye. Can't see out of it.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
What's the theme today? What are we going to be testing your new vision on? The theme I have today is still finding its name, but essentially it's just like being your truest self, standing up for yourself. There's probably a crafty name.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
After being told by my optometrist and family doctor that I was fine, I ended up in the emergency room a few days ago as it was not improving and my fiancé encouraged me to go. He came with me. Long story short, the doctor found a non-cancerous brain tumor on my CT scan, pituitary macroadenoma.
Father Knows Something
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I was told I would be contacted for an MRI within the following days and a referral was sent to an endocrinologist and neurosurgeon. Obviously, this news isn't the best, but I think I was still in shock the last couple of days. Today, after still not being contacted for the MRI, I've called but can only leave messages, I've just been feeling so frustrated with this waiting game.
Father Knows Something
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I'm looking for advice on how to accept things for what they are and on how to be patient in this situation. I have been experiencing other health issues for years, and in a way I am relieved that this tumor may be causing some of them. But right now I'm just feeling angry and defeated, and now I have to sit with this news and wait.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
You're getting closer. For sure. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, this is the American health care system. I can't imagine having someone come to me and say, oh, I lost vision in my right eye and then sending them home being like, you're good. You're good.
Father Knows Something
161: Father Knows: Standing Up..
The fact that you had to advocate for yourself so hard when you knew something was wrong, when you're having these symptoms, and then you go to the emergency room and I lost vision in my right eye and finally they believe you and then you find out that you have a tumor and then you have to call for your MRI. It is so frustrating.
Father Knows Something
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This is going to be one of those times that you just need to keep following up. You need to keep being on them. My mom went through this with masses on her thyroid. She was the one constantly pushing to get surgery and get all those masses and stuff removed. You have answers now. That is the upside. Let go of the anger.
Father Knows Something
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Just keep pushing forward and calling, leaving messages, being a pain in their side because That's unfortunately what it might take.
Father Knows Something
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Also, something to talk about. Yeah. I mean, ideal outcome here to have more information, but also on figuring out how to be patient and live my life now that I know I have this tumor. Additional info, I'm getting married in September, just like Morgan and Justin. And without a timeline, I feel like it's hard to even process what life will look like for the next few months, etc.,
Father Knows Something
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My fiance is super supportive. We've been together for eight years, but a part of me is worried that the stress of my surgery and trying to plan a wedding will be too much for him. My friends and family live in another province, so it's just us.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Hello.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Good. How are you? Oh my gosh. I'm up on the TV.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah. Thanks for having me.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
I'm Lily, and I think I would love for you to do an episode on Kony 2012.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
I also have emotional reactions to it. So I was an intern at Invisible Children, which is the organization behind Kony 2012. Uh-huh.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
So Invisible Children was a nonprofit grassroots organization that existed long before Kony 2012. It was started in 2004. A big part of it... So it existed to end the kind of tagline, end the longest running conflict in Africa.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Joseph Kony was the leader of a rebel army called the Lord's Resistance Army. They were... Massive at one time. They still exist. I think they're pretty small and not much of a threat today. Joseph Kony is a very old man. He's still out there.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
So Invisible Children created documentaries. Kony 2012 was actually the 10th documentary that the organization had created. A lot of people don't know that. A lot of people think that we just came out of nowhere.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And the documentary is all centered on different people who had been affected by this war. And we toured them around the country. So there was a aspect of this organization in Uganda where the Lord's Resistance Army started. It moved into the Central African Republic, South Sudan and Congo. So we also had field offices and programs there.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah, totally.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yes and no. The organization itself was not religious. We were, like, trained when we went out on the road to talk about it. We were trained to say it was not a religious organization.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
So Kony 2012 launched, and it was our first video that we put out online, and our goal was to make it go viral. And at the time, you know, Instagram, Reels, TikTok didn't exist. The concept of viral was very different then than it is now. Our goal was by the end of the year to have 500,000 views online. Okay. We hit a million in 24 hours.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah. And this organization was run by a bunch of interns.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah, I don't think there was anybody there over the age of 30. Wow, right. Including our CEO.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah. So at the end of the video, there was a call to action to come to the website, sign a pledge, you know, saying you want this to stop, that we were going to deliver to Capitol Hill and also buy a Kony kit. And a Kony kit was a box that we interns put together.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
I think we had made like a thousand of them thinking we would maybe sell a thousand that had T-shirts and stickers and posters and whatnot that we wanted people to put up because the goal was to make Joseph Kony a household name. Because if you knew that these atrocities were happening, if you knew that kids were being kidnapped and forced to fight, how could it keep happening?
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
No, he was the one kidnapping kids.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
So after about a week, the video was up to 100 million views. And with that kind of fame, you know, our website was crashing. So people thought that we didn't have a website. They thought that we were a scam. All the scam allegations started coming out. The first couple of days, it was really cool to like be on the bandwagon of stop Kony.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And then after a couple of days, it was really cool to hate Invisible Children. Yeah.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah. And then the big thing that happened that a lot of people will remember, our founder and my boss, Jason, had a, you know, he was flying back and forth across the country. I think he didn't sleep for something like nine days, did nothing. 20 interviews in 48 hours in New York and L.A. and New York and L.A. And he had a he had a pretty public psychotic break.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And somebody filmed it and sold it to TMZ.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And that was kind of where it all went bad. Yeah.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
It was really heartbreaking. Um, We had, I remember we were actually planning on having a party that day to celebrate all the success. So all the interns, there were like 60 interns. So all the interns were in the big conference room. There's like champagne lining the walls. Everybody's in really good spirits.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And I just look over and see one guy who we called Johnny Pockets was sitting on the floor crying. And I was like... This is a happy day. What are you crying about? And then one of our bosses, Zach, came in and he walked up. You could tell something was wrong. He walked up to the front of the room and just said, Jason, and started crying. He couldn't get it out. So I thought Jason had died.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
I, you know, all the worst thoughts were coming to my mind. Yeah. We didn't and even Zach didn't fully know the whole story. We knew what people on the Internet were saying. What people on the Internet were saying wasn't totally true. So I don't I don't necessarily want to repeat it.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
But yeah, they TMZ called us and said, we'll give you two hours to tell your staff, but we're going to release this video. We're going to put it out there. They gave us like 10 minutes and they released it.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
One of the major things I remember about that day, we did have a small group of kids from New Zealand working in the office and interning.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Well, so one of them, a guy I love, he's so wonderful, Timmy Harris. I remember when we got this news, I just had to leave and go for a walk and like catch my breath. I was, you know, sobbing like everybody. I was on the phone with my mom saying, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, is all this work that we did for nothing? Is it just over now? You know, people don't think we're real.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Like, how can they not believe us? And I'm on the phone crying and I'm walking back into the office and Timmy comes out and like throws his arm around me and puts his other hand up and just drags me back into the office. I didn't really know what was going on at the time. Later that night, I had a friend call me who I hadn't talked to in years saying, Lily, you are on the news crying.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
What is what's going on? So a cameraman was outside the office and like filming me crying, talking on the phone with my mom. And Timmy came out and kind of saved me and put his hand in front of the camera.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah, we couldn't go home. There was cameras outside of our house for weeks. And we lived in, we lived in an intern house. So there were about 60 of us living in one house, which, which was like a whole other thing in the media. Yeah.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Yeah, it was really hard. It changed my view of the media and what I what I trust. And, you know, nowadays, who knows? But this was kind of the first time that I had seen people blatantly lying in in in the media that I trusted. And I knew they were lying because they were talking about something I was going through every single day. So it's still pretty hard. It took a long time to process.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
I have, you know, some of my best friends today are people that I worked with during that time. And we talk about it every once in a while and we all have new thoughts and feelings that come up. I think very differently of it now than I did 10 years ago. But yeah, it's been, you know, when Rob emailed me, I've been talking to all my friends and watching old videos.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
And I hadn't seen, I hadn't watched Kony 2012 since then. So I watched it last night. That was a wild ride. Yeah.
Flightless Bird
Flights of Fancy: Cheese, Kony 2012, Hot Air Balloons, Troubled Teens, Ice Machines
Thanks guys.
Health Chatter
The Politics of Health Care
Absolutely, and before I ask my question, I think I should clarify that the data is not publicly available. You have to go about certain ways
Health Chatter
The Politics of Health Care
And it really it really should be available to the public. You should be educated about your health. You should be educated about the environment that you're living in. And I think that that would influence a lot of people's decisions about their day to day life if they had access to that data, especially for people who are interested in stuff like that, like me.
Health Chatter
The Politics of Health Care
Anyways, my question, I think to kind of tie up the episode two would be to ask what the priorities are. Maybe for you and your office on a small scale, maybe on a larger scale, what the priorities are for next legislative session in regards to health policy. Everything we talked about is such a big pill to swallow, and I think it's got to happen step by step.
Health Chatter
The Politics of Health Care
So I'd be interested to know what you think your next step in all of this is going to be in the next session.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I'm Angie. Kylie. I have a really big announcement. What is it? We have hit 12,010 reviews on Apple. Yay! That is so cool.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Good for you. Okay. I've got a five-star review. And they write, hello, Pump Tina and her hot lesbian friend. I came across this podcast probably a year ago. I saw two women who looked incredibly young talking about what bothered them. And I assumed they were mama bears. who make having children their whole personality.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I was pleasantly surprised when, just like me and my husband, they just complain and air the petty grievances about the dumbed-down people they encounter every day. Keep up the great work, ladies. We appreciate your insight, candor, and most of all, your dirty mouths. Love, a homosexual from the hellscape that is Iowa.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Okay, this one's five stars. Titled, If You're Not Laughing, You're Crying. And she writes, Jen and pumps are unhinged, unstoppable, and somehow always right. Do yourself a favor and hit play. You're welcome. Love, a Jen's ear. A Gen Z-er.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
That puts me in a good mood. I love how narcissistic that you think that baby would choose you.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Okay, gals, here's what I've had it with. So I've had a boyfriend since high school. We love each other, blah, blah, blah. Now we live together. I have a dog. He has a dog. My dog is purebred Alaskan Klee Kai. Minty, fresh breath. Licks me in the face, no problem. His dog is a rescue that he probably picked up somewhere along the side way because... That's what he would do.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
His dog licks me in the face and I want to get a tetanus shot. His breath is so bad, so foul, so disarming that I don't believe that I can live without antibiotics. However, this is a man that I love. We've been together for a long time. How do you say your dog is disgusting, but I love you in the English language? Thank you.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Hi, Jessica Nadal, Pickleball Chardonnay, and the Blue Tick Legal Eagle Pumps. Caw-caw! Because we're taking it back. Yeah, so the thing that I've had it with is when you're watching a new series or a film that neither of you have seen, no preview, no trailer, and they narrate through the whole fucking thing.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
To the point where you have to stop because you don't know what's going on anymore and all the questions keep coming in. And so... Why are you asking me? Oh, is he going to go in there? Oh, my God. What do you think is going to happen? I don't know because we're watching the same fucking thing. Shut the fuck up and watch the bloody program. I've had it. Absolutely had it.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And it happens all the time. Anyway, love you both. Keep fighting the good fight like you do. And great show as always. Well, I love her.
Infamous
Encore: The Rise and Fall of Girls Gone Wild | Part 3
Look! Oh, it's so cute! Oh, I thought it would be all scary and weird, but it isn't. It's pink for girls. And look, the little bunny has a little face, like Peter Rabbit.
It's Been a Minute
Why are people smearing beef fat on their face?
If you can't eat your skincare, you should not be putting it on your face.
It's Been a Minute
Why are people smearing beef fat on their face?
I have a few friends who use it and they rave about it. I've not used it myself. I'm a vegetarian and I don't use animal product or byproduct.
It's Been a Minute
Why are people smearing beef fat on their face?
If it works, the downside of it being an animal fat or whatever, I will still use it. I don't care.
It's Been a Minute
Why are people smearing beef fat on their face?
And a lot of us are getting started on our New Year's resolutions.
It's Been a Minute
Is your favorite pop star spreading propaganda?
So I literally don't post for two weeks and then I come back and look at TikTok and all of a sudden Beyonce bull was making people proud to be a Black American and that's a bad thing?
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
I'm looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. Six five. Blue eyes. Finance.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
What's going on?
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
I could hum it right now. I'm looking for a man in finance.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
I would never ask about a person's salary on a first date. However, you kind of know before you go on a first date with someone exactly what they say their career is. Then you can kind of guesstimate.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
Yeah, it's important to me to know what line of work you're in, and that takes care of the question.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
It is interesting.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
In my relationship with my husband. I'm letting him take on the reins. I am. I'm more feminine. I'm more in my soft era. And it's helping our relationship so much more because he gets to be the man in the relationship.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
I'm not going to sit here and prove my worth. I'm not going to try to manipulate you to believe that I'm better than anybody else. I know that I am.
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
What?
It's Been a Minute
"Is it OK to ask about salary on the first date?" How to marry romance and finance
What?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Look, all right, sounds fun. All right, let's go.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Out here in the ocean water, like a crab living his dream. Somebody bring me some ice cream.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Thank you, mister!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Oh, gee willikers, guys. This was the best afternoon I ever had. Thank you so much for having me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Sure thing, boss. It's like I'm killing for two. Yeah, and now I got eight, right? That's me. Child killer.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I'll kill you. Shut the fuck up.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Come now, devils with all the sacraments, where are you? I wish that I now saw a devil. And who wants to be stabbed to death? I can do that very beautifully. Yes.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I'll kill you again and again!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I want to kill! I want to kill a pregnant woman! I want to make a woman pregnant! I want to kill a pregnant woman! That takes time.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Come here, damn it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I'll get your bird.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Thank you!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Come on, this is what I'm supposed to do all day!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Ah, you bastard! You fuck up your shit!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Let me have a musket.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, right? I'm going to kill.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
What's the Eldridge forecast?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Alright, I'm gonna be the jerk here. Medium-low magic. So magic is rare enough to stay magical. You can go into most medium to large cities and find a magic shop. It sells common magic items and material components, as well as knickknacks meant to get regular folks in the door. Focus charms and stuff. Any magic of uncommon rarity or greater, you have to find or commission or buy at an auction.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
It's not in general, it's not generally available only. Okay.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Do you want me to answer that? Sure. So the idea is that, yes, the PCs can have a higher level of magic because they are exceptional, but in general, magic ability is on par with, say, having a PhD. Okay. Maybe 2% of the population at most.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
The world is at war, and it is weary of it. Battle lines have been drawn in scarred countries, isolating them from each other. And getting from one place to another requires smuggling or some other passing of bribes. You don't know what else is out there.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
All right, the reason that magic isn't so common anymore is all the wars have been killing off the dragons that are the anchor for the weave in the world.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
I feel like, you know, an inciting incident. You got Lodo, Midmagic, and Wartorn going off tails as, you know, is going away and the dragons are dying. The group finds a name or something, and that's what allows the characters to progress in magic normally, where everybody else is stuck at first level at best. And so they've got to decide which of the four dragons do you take it to?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
What side do you lean to? And it's like a beacon. Not everybody's after them, so they have to pick quickly and go. Okay.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Yeah, you said if you need a power source or things like that, the dead dragons, the items made for them still maintain their magical power. That's actually like the weapon caches and armaments for all these countries. So they don't want the egg to hatch and there'd be more of a magical world for everybody, so they'll be wanting to take it.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
This is bringing to mind 13th Age and their icon system. Okay. You have a bunch of different icons directing things in the world, and who you align with determines who is against you and who is tenuously in your favor.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Well, I caught on to this smuggling piece of it because I think about, like, what's going to be unique about my game. Like, there's 30 games of this con that have all the media magic and dragons and things, but, like, I don't know any games, I mean, there might be some, but where... smuggling or kind of going around the war is kind of the core thing.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
So maybe this is a stealth game, or maybe that's something I would think about. And for smuggling to work, you'd need to, Keith's original point where magic dragons and chops and stuff, you need to have a robust economy now so that In order to smuggle something and for that to be meaningful, it needs to be something that people in this place want and people in this place can't get, sort of thing.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
I think about the mechanics I can include and the kind of building blocks I need to support that kind of emergent payment.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
I don't know if this is, so I like the smuggling idea. My brain is going like basically there is some group of people that go through old ruins, which is a fairly common thing, but the goal is explicitly to find smuggling routes, which if you can find and create and kind of like map the same smuggling route, that could give you a lot of money depending on who you do that route to.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Just one thing that I think gets left out in these kind of epic stories that makes the world feel flat is thinking about families. People are raising children in these worlds. What does that look like in these war-torn worlds with smuggling and these factions?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Yeah, if you give... I just want to repeat that. If you give...
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Well, maybe there's this strange light in the sky, and you leave it for, you know, the game master to determine. Is that, like, a world-ending asteroid? Is that some sort of, I don't know, like, space-faring race that's coming to, you know, obliterate or take over or what?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
We're talking about how it's going to end. I love you, Chris Knezak.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Yes. I'm going to follow up on your story about what's something from a previous edition of D&D, mechanically, that you'd like to see come back in the 50th?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Can you speak to something regarding other systems that you're anticipating or you have some like happy anticipation to try out in your near future?
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
Over the past couple of years, what games have you seen that have influenced you, that you found interesting, or were your design into the show? And just in general.
Mastering Dungeons
Live from Gamehole: Create a Campaign With Us! (MD 212)
How does it feel to always be just number two to the elders broadcast?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
At this point, we had no idea what to do. Would my mom freak out and call wondering where I was? No. What the fuck?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Do you see the logic that we're using here or are you fighting us tooth and nail?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
She just, because she was kind of chatting and then just like she got distracted. I'm sure my six-year-old and one-year-old brothers were keeping them occupied.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
They had intense baby brain. Right. Anyway, I don't know how I got back home, but after that day, Brennan's mom always checked the backseat. Yeah. Thanks for all you do to make the world a better place and for giving shout-outs to teachers when talking about Karen's sister. It can be rough out there. Stay sexy and are you a runaway if no one notices? Bailey.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
It's like they pay attention to you when you don't want them to pay attention to you. No one pays attention when you're trying to do a show.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I mean, just, you know there's cafe lights hung from a tree to the back porch balcony. Roof.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
And if you're going to talk about cafe lights, you better be talking about Miller High Life, girl. That's our song. That's our country song we're about to write. Get ready.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
There's also the maxi pad sewed. Absolutely. With wings. One of our greatest bits of all time. The always maxi pad bit. Here we go. This is a classic hometown and the subject line is classic hometown POV from my six-year-old self. Great. Hi, ladies. I've been listening for years. Thanks to my amazing brother who introduced me to your pod.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I'm sorry to keep on talking about Nora, but she, to this day, anytime we go out to eat lunch or dinner, she's like,
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Suze. Okay, wait. It was her brothers and sisters and then, like, cousins? Cousins, yeah. Fuck. There's something really joyous. There was a moment post trying, like, because it's so little kid to be like, these taste terrible.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
But I want them, yeah. I want them and I have to have them. But there must have been this glory moment between like the last little kid eating their maraschino cherry and some sort of let's run on the couch, let's chase each other but on the couch type of thing.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Like some older sister came up with a rad game for a bunch of moonshine drunk kids that probably only could be sustained for about four minutes and then it was mayhem. For the moment, there was glory. And it was true. All kids, you know, the floor is lava style game joy.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
My last email is a classic trash dad. And in parentheses, that's what the subject line is. And then it says four minute read. So it says, I've been listening since 2018. And I started with the episode where you covered the serial killer in Hawaii, followed by Coincidence Island. The rest is history. You are truly the best slash my favorite. Thank you.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
My parents divorced when I was in elementary school, and my dad moved out to the Pacific Northwest from the Midwest to basically start over. That meant for two weeks over Christmas and two months every summer, my sister and I got to fly out and visit. We did lots of fun activities in Washington, and my dad enjoyed the outdoors and encouraged us to do the same.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Sometimes his eagerness for us to have fun bordered on dangerous. They're my favorite.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
So much fun. Single dads riffing activities.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
What do I think is fun? They'll be fine is usually the mentality. One summer when I was about 14, my dad thought it would be very fun for me and my 15-year-old sister and 12-year-old stepbrother to go on a canoe voyage. He had a small canoe that we would utilize in small ponds, mostly to putter around and go fishing. The plan, drop the three of us children off at a boat dock on the Columbia River.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
My boyfriend has suffered, and that suffered is in quotes, through hours of your show. Thanks to me. Thanks to me. Mine has too. We taught young women to de-center men by centering us. I love it. It's pretty intense. Yeah. I'm holding space for that. Okay. It literally says, okay, to this story. I've been wanting to share this story for months, and I'm finally getting around to sending it in.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
The first thing I thought of was like, I'm pretty sure we've done stories that involves the Columbia River. Somewhere in my filing cabinet of my life. But then also they have their own clothing line. So, you know, it's not just like a low key river. There's no trickle for a clothing line. There's got to be like some rapids and shit. Okay. Could be wrong though. Okay.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
We were armed with three paddles, three life jackets, a safe, and then it says in parentheses, a safe trash dad, and a cooler of water and snacks. My sister had a small primitive cell phone circa 2010 that we put in a plastic bag in the cooler. Smart. Smart. I kid you not, he dropped us off and casually said, I'll pick you up in a few hours down river. No. No.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
We did not realize how massive the river was until it was just us on our tiny canoe. We stayed close to the edge so we wouldn't get out to water that was too deep. We stopped for a lovely picnic lunch on a small sandbar. Our chests puffed up at our false senses of accomplishment at Lewis and Clarking our way down this river.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
We were almost to our pickup point when we snagged a low hanging branch and tipped the canoe. Yeah. I'm proud to say that I saved the snack cooler, and after getting the canoe to the bank and putting it back upright, we journeyed on and even found the ore we lost in the capsizing floating down the river slightly ahead of us. That's pretty cool.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
All in all, a great experience, minus getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and tipping the canoe. My dad was proud of us for doing it by ourselves. I see now that plopping three children in a massive river alone was not his best idea. He died when I was 18 after a short and brutal cancer fight. That is one of the saddest sentences you can write.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I wish he were here to teach my kids, the grandkids he never got to meet, how to do all the amazing things he taught me to do. I like to think that he sees me now and is proud. Stay sexy and hug your dad, Mallory."
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah. And maybe he was like secretly driving along somewhere watching them. Although it doesn't feel like it. No. But no, it is that kind of somebody was talking about that, I'm sure, on TikTok. But it's that thing of like we really did. this older generation that really was like, we were, we had play-based learning. We were outside all the time.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
We had to deal with, we would create issues and we had to solve those issues, like all that kind of stuff.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Isn't it weird every once in a while you just get that thing of like how we are being perceived? Like we are being perceived in the wildest, fucking weirdest ways that like have nothing to do with who I know myself to be.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I just don't like it. It's not up to them. It's up to me. Okay.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
My classic hometown story takes place in San Diego, Poe in 2010. I was only six years old at the time, but I remember this story so clearly, and I've always had a weird connection to the girl who died. Chelsea King was a 16-year-old track star from Poway High School who left her home on the morning of February 25th to go for her regular run at the Rancho Bernardino Community Park.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Sorry. Just for future writers in, if you have a dad that grew up on the fucking literal streets of New York City during the depression and you're going to brag that he has great stories and you don't share one synopsized version with us, a quickie before you get to your main, come on.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Please write back in.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Oliver and Hardy? Yeah. It's Laurel and Hardy.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
But I think it's because... Was there an Oliver? Maybe it's a... I think one of their last names was Oliver. It was like Stan, Laurel, and somebody Oliver? Probably, and maybe it was autocorrect.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah. Well... Well, I hate to correct you and also not know the truth, but that's kind of, that's how I really am.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Like what you do to a cat. Or they just are like, I'm out.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Boop. Oh, my God. That was delightful. Yeah. But... I feel like people need to understand the important parts of stories. You don't have to hear the whole story about the nun and the guy under indictment. Just like the moments that their hand first touched. Just give us a little bit of that.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
When she hadn't returned by 5 p.m. that evening, her family grew concerned and went to the park looking for her. The next day, her face was all over the local news and posters were plastered everywhere. A few days into the investigation, her underwear was found at Lake Hodges, 14 miles from where she went on her run.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
What was the pre to the breakthrough to the I am going to break up with Jesus and get with you, a straight up criminal?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Oh, my God. I want nun stories. The nuns need to start writing in. Why did you accept the calling?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Why did you leave the calling behind?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I think this is the first episode that's not an old record since the fires. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is the first. Yeah. And we are, I guess I was just going to point out, we're still in the middle of a natural disaster. So we don't really, like, please forgive everyone. I think everyone is getting this on social media where like, no one knows what the hell is going on and no one...
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Everyone's afraid to say anything or we're all holding our breath and waiting for this these next 48 hours to pass. Yeah. And it's really nice that people checked in on us. And we're very happy to have been able to tell you that we're OK. And yeah. Yeah. That everyone is OK here.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Very nice. And, you know, until next time, stay sexy and don't get murdered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
This has been an Exactly Right production.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Her DNA, as well as DNA from a registered sex offender, John Gardner, was found on her underwear. At that point, it was sadly clear that she would not be found alive. John Gardner was arrested on suspicion of first-degree murder, and on March 2, 2010, Chelsea's body was found in an isolated area of Lake Hodges.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
When it came out that her body had been recovered, I can remember the news playing at my house for hours. She lived less than 10 minutes from me. Being a six-year-old girl, I obviously didn't know all the details of her death, but I was old enough to know that something really bad had happened to her. I remember mourning her death.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
When family members would talk about her, they would always look at me and say the same thing. You look just like her. Oh, for a little, for a child. Don't say that to a child, everyone. And then it says that I was stuck with me. And as a six-year-old, all I could see was myself 10 years later when she would be on the TV screen in my living room.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I remember crying over her death and having so many confusing thoughts. I wanted to write her and her family letters. Obviously, those letters were just a confusing rambling of words. It didn't make sense because I I was a first grader, but for whatever reason, I felt heartbroken over her death.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
The reason is because you have empathy and it's somebody in your community and it's you learning about bad things happen in the world.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Her family set up a foundation in her honor, and my mom and I participated in a 5K to fund college scholarships. Over a million dollars were raised in her name. Her killer was convicted and was linked to another murder that happened just the year before to a 14-year-old girl named Amber Dubois. I remember this. Yeah.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Her foundation helped raise awareness to the importance of keeping sexually violent predators away from areas with children. I still think about her and her family all these years later. Being told I look just like that girl really did a number on me and is the reason I became the murder you know I am today. Thank you for everything you guys do.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
This podcast isn't just entertaining, but it's educational and inspiring. You give voices to those who lost theirs too soon. SSDGM, Megan.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
It's a very slow progress, but that is happening where it is. This is we have to start looking at the people responsible for what is happening and not talking about the reaction to what is happening.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah. Thanks, Megan. That was a vulnerable one. So thank you for that. Totally.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I mean, it's been done for millennia. But it's the same feeling as like when Nora got her driver's permit and then my sister was like, wait, now she drives? Like, no way. And I'm like, oh, yes way. I'll do it.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Unless you're a nun. Yeah. And even then, maybe not. Like the idea, the whole idea of drinking is for more drinking. Totally. That's what it does. Yes. That's a, that's a very me statement, but it's the truth. It's like, that's the whole deal. You break down. That's why it's addictive. It's the point of it.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Oh, that's a good plan.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
At this point, I was like, I'm going to get baked potato skins. Oh, potato skins. Potato skins.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I'm just saying there's no parental skills in me whatsoever where it's like, wait, here's how we should take care of this problem. Here's best practices for children watching children.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah, exactly. They rule. And we care a lot about them. Yeah. But also, I love that that story comes full circle by the two children in the story, 20 years later or whatever, buying merch.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
You never don't need it. I have like 14 totes. And how, sorry, but how long were they gone? I missed it.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah, it's so young and it's so not at home by yourself with little kids. No, no. Also, it is that thing where it's like whether it's a spider in your bed or just the idea that suddenly like you look into the kitchen and everything looks kind of sinister and sharp.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Like it's just like it's such a young. It's the first time to be like, oh, and if something goes down, it's on me. And it's so quiet the first time you're like home alone. So quiet. Especially when you hear the scratching in the attic. Yeah. Right? Oof. I was home by myself, but I was like 21 or two. And I heard something in the attic. And I had a cat that was just staring at the attic.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
I was like, it was probably a possum. Yeah. But then when I was like, so I went into my parents, like, it's going to sound super fancy, but they have a walk-in closet that's the most low-key walk-in closet of all time.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Yeah. It's very like 1987 version. But I went to try the door and it felt like someone was pressing back against the door. And I ran. I just ran, got into my car and drove out to my old neighbor's house. And I was like, it was like almost midnight. I was like, he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, you have to come back with me. I think someone's at my parents' house.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
And I made him come and like check the entire house.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Because the cat, the cat was the cat was like basically pointing to the door.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
They will alert you and freak you the fuck out. Right. The subject line of this email is runaway child. Hi, lovely ladies, longtime listener, fourth or fifth time writer. I've lost count. When I was in second grade, they just go right into it. I love it. Just a little bit of a passive aggressive hint, hint. And then here we go.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
When I was in second grade, my mom took a leave of absence from work to stay home with my youngest brother, who had just been born the year before. During this time, she also watched two family friends after school to earn some extra cash. I can only assume she was being compensated. Brennan was my best friend at the time, and one day we decided that I was going to go home with her.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
While our moms were inside talking, I snuck into the backseat of her car. This is my jam. This is KK. All the way. Age nine. I just loved this shit. I loved doing this shit. Okay. This was just a normal four-door car, not an SUV with a hatchback. So I laid on the floor behind her driver's seat, and Brennan and her little sister covered me with their backpacks and coats.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
And then in parentheses, for some reason I remember foil, but that seems like an absurd thing for eight-year-olds to have on hand.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
Some kind of a camping, leftover camping equipment or someone did a 10K. How many Ks is it? 12K? It's 10, 5K, 10K.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
How long was the last one you ran?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
It's still fresh Georgia. There's still stuff to learn about each other. Look. Look at us. Look. Look at us. Still discovering. We're still in a discovery phase.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 419
No. Oh, please don't. Immediately both your hips will fall off. Her mom got in the car and started driving. I held my breath and tried to steady my breathing. We made it to Brendan's house and they all got out of the car. This is where the plan faltered as we didn't actually think I'd make it to her house. Brendan was able to sneak back into the garage and get me to the basement.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Fortunately, Turbo suffered no ill effects and the only stitches he got was from a hernia surgery a year later. Get it?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Stay sexy and hide your chocolate. Megs. She, her.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Oh, here's the, here's Alejandro with the photo. We'll put it up on Instagram and everywhere. Oh, let me see. Let me clicky. It's a gorgeous dog.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Truly. Is it tattooed on? I mean, that's just, bring that to like the tattoo, the permanent makeup person and be like, I want my eyes like this.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
In the meantime, should I read you a story? Mm-hmm. Okay. Should I go first? Yeah? Please do. Okay, this is called Family Vacation Turned Claustrophobic Escape Mission. Okay. Karen, Georgia, and Co. Y'all have been my constant companions for years, and I can't believe I'm just now writing in. During a recent catch-up on Minisodes, I heard you ask for disaster vacation stories. So here's mine.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
If I were a mayor of the town, that would be every day.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Yeah. There was a here at least there was a drought. Right.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Oh, my God. I'm picturing us, like, at the Rose Parade. We're, like, commentating on it as it goes on below us.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Live. We're live from the Hot Dog Day Festival.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
That float took 8,000 hot dogs to create. Thank you for the donation from Nathan's. Whatever.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Yeah. What's your festival? What's your town festival? We need to know about it. We need to know what goes on in it.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Man. Yeah. That's cool.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
All right. Well, that was a quick one. Thanks so much for listening and tuning in. All of the things.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
In the mid-zero-zeros... What was that? Otts?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Please participate if you'd like. We'll give you a trophy, a participation trophy.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Yeah. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squilacci. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder. Goodbye.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Mid-zero-zeros. My family went on a trip to Prince Edward Island. My little sister and I, insufferable pre-teen book nerds, were hoping to see every place mentioned in Anne of Green Gables. My dad had other plans. His goal was to visit all the lighthouses on the island. There are over 50. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a lot of driving around on a vacation.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
On a drive to the capital city of Charlottetown, or Charlottetown, Charlottetown probably, Our dad spontaneously took us to check yet another lighthouse on his list. We were the only people there when we arrived, so we went to take a couple photos. My sister and I had long since clued into the meaning of the phrase, if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
So we weren't too keen to stay for very long. We were about to ask our parents to leave when they saw two college-age girls trying to climb up from the rocky shore with their bicycles.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
My dad asked if they needed help, and boy, did they. Turns out they worked for a cruise ship that was docked in the city, and since they had the morning off, they asked a local boat guy, and it says captain, to ferry them across the bay so they could bike back into town on the scenic shoreline.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
When they got halfway across the bay, the boat guy turned off the engine and began pressuring them to drink and take off their clothes since it was so hot." Ugh. They were stuck for hours with this creep on open water before he finally brought them to the lighthouse.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
He boasted that they would come crawling back to him because he was their only way back to the city dock before their cruise ship left.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
I know. The lighthouse was so remote, there wasn't a visitor center where they could get help or any other houses or businesses, and no one had a cell phone. The girls frantically asked us if we could drive them somewhere and call a cab, and it says, and the police. Oh, my God.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Undeterred, my handyman dad was able to, and then it says, dismantle their bicycles to fit in the trunk while my mom squished the girls and me in the back seat and then shoved my little sister on the floor of the passenger seat between her legs.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Exactly. To this day, I'm still not sure how we all fit. We must have broken countless unknown Canadian traffic laws, but we got the girls back to their ship with time to spare and to write a police report, hopefully. They even bought us t-shirts from the cruise gift shop as a thank you. Aww.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Looking back on the story, it makes my skin crawl to imagine how badly things might have gone for those girls if my family hadn't been in the right place at the right time. Stay sexy and rent an SUV, Abigail.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Yeah. Because, like, who knows what would happen if they, like, left them behind and then the guy came back, you know? Yeah, like. Ugh.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
We know there's positive ones out there.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Oh, my God. Are you the 10-year-old or the 2-year-old listening right now? And was that you? And yes, indeed, you were in the mob. Or no, maybe not in the mob, but you know what I mean. Please, email us. Oh, can you imagine? Were you a witness protection family? Like, tell us. We need to know the details. And I know you're going to say it's way more boring than you think it is. God.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
I assure. Oh, man. That 10-year-old has chronic anxiety now. I guarantee it. My mom's third man experience. Hey guys, I just heard Georgia's story about third man syndrome and my hands are shaking as I write this. I haven't even finished the entire episode yet, but I have to tell you about how my mom's life was saved by her deceased father.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Years ago, my mom, Joyce, was working at a Target store on the receiving dock in the back corner of the stockroom. Joyce is such a mom name, isn't it? Such a mom name. From like 1987. Yeah, it's good. She was literally standing in the corner by herself counting items on a pallet when she felt a massive shove from behind that pushed her away from the corner.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
She turned around to say, hey, what the hell? To realize no one could have been behind her, her back was up against the wall. Oh. Just then, an entire pallet full of extra shelving fell from the top shelf in the stockroom near the ceiling. Holy shit. It landed right where she had been standing.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Turns out there were employees in the next aisle trying to add items to that top shelf and hit the pallet of shelving, pushing it off the other side. Guys, come on. The security guard had seen it happen on the screen in her office and came running back to grab my mom and say, we almost lost you.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
There's no explanation for what pushed mom and no one else was in that aisle with her on the security camera. Her parents had passed away maybe a year before this and she says she knows for certain it was her dad that saved her. My papa was an amazing man and I thank him every day for saving my mom. Thank you for your amazing podcast that gives all of us humor and hope.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Stay sexy and thank you guardian angel papa, Anastasia.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
The surety that it's her dad is like, so like got me choked up.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
You know, it's just like.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
I can't tell you how many times he shoved me out of the way of danger and did it one more time.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
The people who have money for cocaine, the wine bar.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Drunk on red, shitty red wine, probably, back then, Beaujolais and shit. Oh, my God.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
That just turns your teeth purple?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
Meg, can you coach my life, please?
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
You're fun. You sound fun.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
It's fun. That's great. That was a great one. My last one is called Dog Snitch and it starts, howdy. A couple of years ago, after much begging from our kids, we added a beagle mix with a gentle demeanor and fantastic eye makeup. It says picture attached to our family named Turbo.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
This story also involves my son, who has sensory processing disorder and will often put things that are not food into his mouth. His favorites are small objects like buttons and coins. You know, stuff that makes mom freak out when they're in a four-year-old's mouth.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
We had Turbo for about six months when one night he was scratching and barking at our son's door after bedtime. Usually, Turbo is pretty chill, so I assume the most obvious thing. My son has snuck a Lego or something into his room to chew on and is now choking to death, and the dog is telling me to get in there and help now.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
MFM Minisode 417
I stood in the doorway, scolded him for sneaking food into his room, and Turbo took advantage of the moment to run in, snatch what was left of the candy bar, and scarf it down as fast as doggily possible. I went in thinking we had adopted a hero dog to realize that he was a snitch who would sell you out for half a chocolate bar.
My Therapist Ghosted Me
MTGM EXTRA! "Give them their reality back..."
Before anybody sends in some angry messages, she does not park in the same way.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
But I sort of feel like the bigger they are, sometimes the longer they last, which is what's really scary.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Do we know the drill, by the way? I know people are going to yell at us because you're not supposed to move during an earthquake, but if there is an earthquake and we're in bed, I am running to Teddy's room and you're running to Otis'.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Well, then we need to have a talk with them and be like, we have told them what you do in your bed.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Okay, that's what we should talk about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
And you're like, oh my god, where's my foot? Hahaha.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Yes, we don't want that. Okay, well, anyway, the earthquake situation is keeping me on edge.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Ich stelle nicht eine Hand auf ein Knie oder so etwas.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Oh, I have something fun to talk about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Okay, so I went to CVS the other day. Yeah. And I was wearing black pants, black sweatshirt, maybe black hat.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Well, not to say that CVS employees aren't badass, but a man decided I worked there.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
And he didn't speak English that well, but he was trying to access the Tylenol.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Yeah, so he asked me if I would help him and initially I was like, oh, I don't work here, but I don't think he understood me. And everything is locked up now. It's so annoying.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
There was no button. It was like in an upper level kind of locked key box. But anyway, I did help him. I just went along with it. I went and helped him get a real employee. And to this day, I don't know if he thinks that I'm an employee of CBS or not.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Do you know what I sometimes think is a pervious part of me though? Is that I'm seeing the world sometimes through the lens of what I think all men.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Ja. Wirtschaftsverschwendung und all diese Sachen spielen einen Faktor. Ja. Aber wie viele Male bin ich da, um etwas zu kaufen, und ich denke mir, ah, vergesst es nicht. Ich würde mir vorstellen, dass die Verkaufs- und bestimmte Items verringert sind.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Ja, Verlängerung, schön. Aber das Intercom scheint, dass es Sinn macht.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Ich musste auf einem Wild Goose Chase gehen, um einen Mitarbeiter zu finden. Und natürlich gab es einen Mann, der das Unpacken macht. Nun, er ist nur der Distributioner. Ja. The CVS that I get some of my medication at,
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Well, it reminds me, this is probably 10 years ago. Or, it would have been after our kids. So, 8 years ago. There was one time, I feel like our birth control journey was, this was before you got a vasectomy. There was one time where I had to go get Plan B. Do you remember this?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
And I went to see, which by the way, I feel like they're selling at Costco now. And I feel like people should go get it. Just given if you're sexually active and like in that time of your life, go stock up on some Plan B while you can. Anyway, I had never bought Plan B before in my life. This is an interesting story because times have changed so much.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Now I would go get it and not think twice about it. But like the Catholic girl in me felt like, Okay. Okay. No, first I go over to get it. It's locked. So I have to go over to the counter. And the woman's like, oh, and she's busy. So she's like, I have to get someone else. And so she gets someone else. And this other woman down from the counter walks out. And she's like 17 months pregnant.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Like the most pregnant woman I've ever seen in my life. It's slowly leading me down the aisle to get Plan B. And I was like, well, this just feels like something.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Cool, that's very cool. It is cool, Andy. It's very cool. It's very cool. I need to spin this on you somehow.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
How many weirdo men do you think are so bummed that the door-to-door salesman gig is over? Because they can't continue with their multiple families stashed across the country.
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156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
These days? Oh, way, way, way harder. I can't even, when we've been finding with 23andMe, how many people in genetic testing are like, I actually have half siblings all over the world.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Sie werden dich finden. Du wirst gefunden werden. Und tatsächlich, auch die Leute, die davor gedacht hatten, dass sie wegkommen, wurden letztendlich gefunden.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Und sie wissen es nicht. Vielleicht leben sie, ihre Geister wissen es. Was bedeutet das?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
All these dead guys are like, oh, that didn't work out.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
156 - Please Don't Report Us To HR!
Right. That happens. Oh, sure. Yes. But none of them, it's similar to podcasting, we never could have known that we'd be podcasters, because it didn't exist. None of them could have, like, would have ever thought they'd get found out.
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There was no, like, this is so unfathomable.
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Oh boy, classic. By the way, I always think about this crazy documentary I watched. I don't even know what it's called. But it was about these two people. I mean, it's such a beautiful documentary because it's like, doi, these two people who were playing the video game Second Life.
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And they both, I'm going to look it up.
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And then guess what? But what's crazy is in this documentary you see like this, it's a mother of four and a father of two. One lives in the United States or Canada, one's in the UK, I think.
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They start basically, now this is a red flag, if your spouse is playing 10 hours of a video game, Und ich weiß, dass du dich über mich in Tetris interessierst, aber ich spiele nur eine Stunde am Tag.
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Und formen diesen Verbund. Und dann fallen sie natürlich in Liebe, aber sie fallen in Liebe in diesem Fantasiewelt. Es ist wie, ja, das wird nicht funktionieren. Du bist nicht, wer du denkst, du bist.
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Und dann entscheiden sie sich zu treffen, sie haben einen magischen Wochenende, natürlich, endlich wird all diese sexuelle Frustration gelöst. Dann entscheiden sie sich beide, ihre Familien zu verlassen. Wie diese armen Kinder, die ihre Mutter zu einem verdammten Videospiel verloren haben. Und sie ist so dumm. Und der Mann.
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Ich meine nicht, ich relate nur zu der Mutter im Sinne von, wie könntest du das möglicherweise tun? Ja. Diese Idioten, die ihre Familien verletzt haben, ihre Kinder verletzt haben, weil sie dachten, dass sie glücklich zusammen sein werden. Und dann, sicher genug, am Ende des Dokumentars, ist er nach England geflogen. Und seitdem sind sie verletzt.
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Und er ist, weißt du, beide ihre Leben sind verletzt.
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Hey, I have a question for you and be honest. Do you ever have dreams that you've cheated?
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Jetzt, in diesen Träumen, weil ich sie sehr selten habe.
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Aber für irgendeinen Grund, ich erinnere mich nicht an viele meiner Träume, aber diese fühlen sich sehr vivid an. Mhm. Weil das überwältigende Gefühl in diesen Träumen ist einer von... Elation? So tiefes Leid. Ja. Wie der ganze Traum. Es ist ein Leid-Traum. Es ist ein Leid-Traum.
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Mom, Dad, Uncle Jimmy, I'm starting a new business. What is it? It's just going to be a huge fucking store where we sell cardboard boxes in every size you can imagine. Okay, interesting. Well, how are people going to know, like, what are you going to call it, first of all?
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Well, of course. Is that a thing? Listen, there are definitely couples where it works out and you can in hindsight go, they were soulmates, you know, like... Tori Spelling. Well, that's not worked out.
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No longer, no. So, there are couples, of course, and they're like in their 80s, and that's how it started, and you're like, well, you were meant to be together, so, like, let bygones be bygones. But, I will say, if you are entering a relationship by cheating... I personally, I mean, to each their own, would never feel fully trusting.
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Of the foundation. I also don't fully, fully trust you in the sense of, I don't think anyone should ever be fully, fully trusting. And that might not feel romantic, but it's just, you hear too many stories of people going... I never could have imagined. It's like, yeah, but you've heard so many stories of people going, I never could have imagined. What makes you think that you're more solid?
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Now, you and I spend so much time together and just like time-wise, I know that there's no world.
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But I mean, I do trust you, but I'm not going to say I would trust you forever with no questions and whatever. And that's true, not just of cheating. I mean, it's true of people who do really, really bad things.
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Everyone who commits crimes and does horrific things, generally speaking, has someone who loves them and thinks highly of them. Just like, let's all keep that in mind.
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I have such a safety net in your... I mean, I do think... So we've established like your humming and your hand gestures are ADHD related.
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And you also, I don't know if you know this, like this morning when you're texting the plumber, you hum out your texts, right?
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But yes, I do think that... That would be so funny for someone to get caught.
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Anyway, so I do think cheating, wait, where were we going with this? Oh yeah, if you're in a relationship and it started with them cheating on someone to be with you.
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You can't be so naive to think it could never happen. I mean.
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Boxstore. Boxstore. Doesn't really flow off the mouth that well. Boxstore.
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Ja, ich bin sicher, dass es solche Leute gibt.
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I don't know if that's the right choice. I don't know.
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I feel so bad for those kids because they're, yeah. But that just goes to show how a little fucky romp can really devastate people. Wrap it up. Wrap it... That's another thing. She had one kid who popped out with red hair. And then they still aren't wrapping it up. What the fuck is wrong with you? To have two kids...
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Yes, well, I do think that there must be some sort of something going on there. And taking it back even to white collar crime, I'm like, I just have way too a guilty conscience. I'm like, I can't fathom doing something that... Ja, oh mein Gott. Ja. And is it two monsters? I mean, the boss also must be acutely aware that this kid came out with your hair color.
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Very rare. Very, very unique. Yeah. And there is something to that. I think redheads have like a special something about them.
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Oh, you got it, baby. Why would we need a shell?
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was so aggressive from the stands coaching his daughter that she like in the middle of the game turned to him and goes, I'm sorry. Do you remember that?
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And I hope he felt embarrassed because like you don't need to come down so hard on your kid. We're just playing a game of b-ball, you know?
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Ich glaube, es gab eine ungewöhnliche Situation, weil es nicht genug Spieler auf einem Team gab. Einige Spieler von unserem Team haben auf dem anderen gespielt. Es gab aber auch Eltern, die... Ich fühlte, als die Spieler von dem einen Team auf den anderen kamen, waren sie gegen diese Spieler. Selbst wenn sie Teil ihres Kindes waren. Jetzt spielen sie für den Feind in ihren Augen. Ja.
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I don't want to ever be in shady money stuff.
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We're here supporting a group of 10, 11-year-old girls who are playing basketball. We should cheer for both teams. We should celebrate wins on both sides. But I almost felt like I was getting, I don't know, judged for not picking a side.
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And I was very proud of our kid. I think that's really because of that mindset, a very hard thing to do, to go play for the other team and give it all you've got.
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Das heißt, wenn die Eltern der anderen Mannschaft neben mir sitzen, und ich weiß, dass du den Argument machen wirst, dass das nicht authentisch ist oder was auch immer, aber ich denke, es macht es einfach für eine mehr Community, wie wenn ihre Eltern und ein Kind einen tollen Spiel machen oder was auch immer, ich werde vocalisieren, wie toll oder was auch immer.
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Wahrscheinlich mehr so, als wenn wir nur mit unserem Team sitzen.
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Aber so lange wie jeder Unterstützung hat. Nun, Freethrows, immer. Immer einen guten Schuss geben. Immer einen guten Versuch. Ich habe nie Basketball gespielt. Ich habe nie einen Freethrow gemacht. Aber das ist wie die Sache von Träumen für mich.
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Yeah, and actually in St. Louis we knew a lot of families.
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To be up there, all eyes on you and this pressure and you've, I mean, it's like the Eminem song, you've got this shot, you literally have one shot and it scares me so much and I think they're so brave. I'm always very moved by those kids making, you know, trying to make a free throw.
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That's the thing. This is where we need to learn sportsmanship. And I think sometimes there are some very aggro parents where it feels like you are... I mean, I think we talked about this before. We did after my colonoscopy. Like the parent who ran down and held the kid up to block the...
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Wir sind ein Teil dieser kleinen Gemeinschaft, was es all um ist. Es ist es wirklich.
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Oh, ich liebe das. Ich meine, das Rek-Zentrum, das Außenseitige mit den Basketball- und Tennis-Kurzen und so, ist die meisten Nächte ein Bumpen. Ich hoffe, wir sind in einer Ära, in der es sehr benutzt wird und aktiv ist. Wir benutzen es immer.
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Oh, okay. Different person. So in St. Louis on our street, on our lane was a family who was in funeral homes. Und es gab eine Art Racket mit dem Verkauf von Feierlichkeiten oder Kasketten, ich weiß nicht, aber es war echt schlecht. Und sie haben... Er wurde in den Klink gesetzt und dann... There was another family. People are doing shady shit with money.
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Oh, you know what? You mentioned earlier, I just want to check in with you. And publicly seems like the way to do it.
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Good. Do you feel like you have it dialed in?
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Because how many do you take every day?
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And you're like, today's a three pill day.
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Was macht dich... Ich wollte... Das ist eine sensitive Sache, aber... Letztlich, und damit meine ich die letzten drei Nächte, hatten wir ein bisschen mehr physische Kontakt während des Schlafens. Oder in der Morgen.
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Ein bisschen kuddeln, schnüffeln, was so schön ist.
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Oh, I love it too. I really do. The only thing is I'm such a light sleeper that once or twice in the middle of the night.
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Oh, because you reached over to like snuggle or something. And I'm like, well, now you've woken me out of my whatever path you're on and sleep like REM or whatever it is. It's resetting. So.
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So what makes you think you're not sleeping as well?
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Okay, not attached. That's separate. But you and I both have been on our phones and computers too much when we're just at home around. Or, for example, you needed to look into some car stuff and some crypto stuff last weekend. We put the Super Bowl on as this thing that we're all doing, but you were on your computer.
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Und es ist nicht, und ich habe diesen Artikel gelesen, ich glaube nicht, dass das zu unseren Kindern angeht, weil wir so Helikopter-Vereine sind, was sie konsumieren. Aber Kinder, deren Eltern auf ihren Telefonen oder Computern oder was auch immer, Tabletten,
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Too much around them are much more likely to be exposed to things like porn or different things that come at you on the Internet that like you don't want your kids exposed to.
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Kannst du uns einen Beispiel eines Künstlers geben?
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Oh, well, yes and no. I also frequently think about the films that we watched.
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And how, like, I feel like video, I mean media in terms of TV and film, our kids are much more protected. Ours are, for sure, but I feel like kids in general. Although, apparently there are kids at their school who are watching Squid Game.
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I'm going to say, which is an incredible, like it's just, it's a work of art. Das ist eines der am stärksten zerstörerischen Dinge, die ich je gesehen habe. Jetzt ist es Teil unseres Zeitgeistes und der Schock hat sich ausgeworfen. Aber wenn ich es zuerst gesehen habe, dachte ich mir, dass es eines der zerstörerischsten Dinge ist, die ich je gesehen habe.
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And they hear it from... Their hearing suddenly becomes 8 million times better. And they can sense even a vibe.
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They're like, what are you talking about? And we haven't even said anything.
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A funeral home, it just closes down. Because there's no bodies there? Yeah. You would assume they would take care of the last guest.
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Das ist so wahr. Aber anyway, going back to our thing, I think we both, me with my phone and you computer, like, we've had our heads down. And I have made a very big effort to, like, if a kid comes over and is asking me or telling me something, like, put it down and make eye contact and be present. But even that, that's not enough. And then I'm going right back to it. Like...
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Ich muss daran arbeiten und ich denke, wir könnten beide besser sein. Aber ein guter Erinnerung, du weißt, wir versuchen immer, unser Bestes zu tun, durch diese kleinen Engel, die wir so sehr lieben. Es ist hart, die Eltern in diesem Tag und Zeit. Ja. Ich meine, es ist immer hart. Ich fühle mich, es war nie einfach.
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Okay, this is tough. Alright, good night. Good night.
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I'm so excited to chat with you like no one's listening as we do.
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I am. Well, the people who are in charge and like the family of that. And don't make this pervy. Okay.
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You know, on our other podcast, we're talking about very unique kinks that I never even knew existed, like vor. My question is, Es ist perfekt, dass jemand, der in einem Korps-Spiel sein würde,
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Okay, well, if I said that, I don't mean that. I mean that the victim doesn't have a voice. Like, no one's going to report it. Because the victim doesn't have a voice. Oh my God. What? What? Why?
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I do. Say it. I condemn this. I find it disgusting and horrific and it's a huge crime. This is what I'm saying. We're talking about white-collar crime and stuff like that. Obviously this is not white-collar crime. This is like some other, I mean, this is in its own realm. But there are people who are drawn to things, people who want to commit crimes. And a lot of times it's sex related.
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It's sexual crimes. For example, priests. Priester sind wie, oh, hier ist der perfekte Sturm hier. Ich kann wie ein Tenant der Gesellschaft sein, den Leute respektieren, nicht fragen. Ich habe Zugang zu Kindern. Du weißt, es ist wie schrecklich. Ich verurteile alles, worüber ich rede.
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No, Andy. I'm saying that in that case, obviously the children are getting traumatized and hurt. And I mean, not enough action has been taken by the Catholic Church, obviously, to deal with it. But for people who are into necrophilia, have that disease, they're going to go work at a funeral home. Like there's a clear path for them.
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Das ist der Grund, warum wir... Wir hatten jemanden, der mit uns gesprochen hat, um eure Kinder zu schützen. Und die Statistiken... Das ist nicht eine lustige Sache zu denken, aber die Statistiken sagen, dass ihr darüber nachdenken müsst und als Eltern vorbeizutreten, um eure Kinder von sexuellen Tötungen zu schützen.
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Weil ich denke, es ist etwas wie ein in sechs Mädchen und ein in vier Mädchen.
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Es ist horrifisch. And it's not usually the boogeyman waiting in the shadows.
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Okay. But it's their, you know, violin teacher who's taking a special interest in them and wants to take them to the violin concert.
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Now, there is crossover. It's just a body... But no, if it's your loved one's body, I'm saying this is a horrific crime and you're really fucked up. You really need to go get some help if that's your thing.
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I just want to say for the record I was just saying it's interesting that it's an area where criminals sexual predators and criminals Ja. Okay, how the hell did we get there? Wir sprechen von Fox City. Können wir darüber sprechen? Ich fühle mich heute ein bisschen schmutzig.
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Wir haben keine heißen Wasser. Also, als du sagst, wir werden alles verlieren.
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I think it's because, well, we're going to have a plumber come tell us what's going on. But it does remind you, I mean, obviously people have gone through horrific things here. We have friends who have lost everything. Just like these little creature comforts, though, and how we take them for granted. Hot water. I feel gross. And I haven't showered in years.
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Oh my gosh, thank you! We're so happy to be your watercooler buddies. Please don't report us to HR. We would not get through that. We couldn't live to see another day if we were called into HR.
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Ich denke, es ist ziemlich normal, dass Menschen jeden Morgen schlafen. Ich fühle mich, als wäre das eine sehr, sehr normale Sache.
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No, I think it's an everyday thing. I think hair washing.
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Okay, on this note, you're not going to like this. The weird vibes. Yeah. I have been having these very strong feelings lately and I know there's been stuff in the news also that have been, it's not like this is just out of nowhere, but that like a huge earthquake is about to hit.
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Last week there were like a bunch of earthquakes up north and it made scientists concerned about the San Andreas Fault. But then other scientists were like, the way these fault lines work is like energy builds up and it has to be released. Like those could imply a big one's coming, but not necessarily any more than at any other point in time.
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It's been a minute. And I, like, even, obviously we're talking about it right now, I'm having this feeling of, like, you know, brace yourself, kind of, which actually is not what you're supposed to do.
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Yeah, well, you're supposed to get into a safe position and kind of hold on, I guess, but...
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Like in a car accident, you don't want to.
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Tense up, right. That can cause more.
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Yeah, but it's been really stressing me out. I know it's on the heels. Everything feels so, you know, apocalyptic right now. Are you not having any kind of earthquake vibes?
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Well, that's the thing, is they... The other thing I was going to say is living up in Northern California. No, I didn't live through the Northridge one. That was, that's LA area. You're talking about the San Francisco and it was 1989.
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And yes, we were still in San Francisco and I feel like I have a memory. I definitely remember the aftermath and seeing like the double-decker, the images and stuff on the news. I don't really have a memory of being in it. But anyway. Okay. Wir wären da gewesen. Aber ich erinnere mich, ich fühle mich in San Francisco, ich fühlte mehr Erkrankungen. Wie in L.A.
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Du weißt, wir haben wahrscheinlich sieben gefühlt. Wir sind hier 15 Jahre. Oh, ich denke mehr als das. Mehr als das. Ja. Einer von ihnen war sehr erinnerungsvoll, war der erste Tag, an dem wir Teddy zu Hause hatten.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But so anyways, we got the blueberry ones. They weren't that good.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I don't know if you need to shoot those shots. We don't know that. They have a good bakery over there.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
The idea that you think... There's any taste comparison between those two.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There's something up. They're good. They have figured it out. And they hadn't fucked with it for years.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But weren't they good for a minute and then something happened?
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, this is what I say. This is what I say. This is one thing I've noticed. In the Costco Reddit, yes, I'm a member of that subreddit.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There is some backlash happening because— Understandably. A couple things happening. One, the taste situation, which I haven't seen enough about. And I think that will be bubbling up. And I think Costco does listen to their customers. So I think there will be action made.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But someone did the math on the value proposition here, which is what Costco is all about.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So you think it's a female teacher...
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Because maybe this is the second time I've said it in a month.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You used to get 12 muffins for $10. Big fucking muffins. Now you're getting eight for $5.99 or $6.99. We don't know. But since they've shrunk the muffins, someone on Reddit figured out the muffins are actually 58% more expensive than they used to be. And that Costco, we're not going to take.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It honestly doesn't matter if it's a guy or a woman who's teaching the kids. If they're at school all day long, who is homeschooling the kids?
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I'm going to interrupt as much as I can in this part right here. I warn you. Okay. Go on. No one needs a muffin. Yes, they do.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Why would you say that? We loved them and we ate all of them. We weren't leaving muffin on the table.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
That's a big fucking claim. The Costco muffin is the reason?
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Like that's that you're, okay, you're, now you're a House of Representatives lady, politician.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There's a congressional hearing. Okay. And you need your list of things because you're doing something about diabetes.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
The Costco muffins are on that list.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I think they'll bring them back.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
No, but I'm going to soon. I've been waiting for my moment.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I know what it is, and I don't want to share it yet.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Snacking. Snacking. You know, I'll try to do it soon. I actually set a reminder for me to do it because I almost posted the other day. But then I realized after looking at the post.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
No, I'm going to do my first post.
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147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I should be commenting. Maybe I do need to get training wheels, but I'm just going to post. Snacking, I almost did it the other night, and then I thought, I need a picture with this because the snacking thread, there's a lot of pictures.
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If they're from a long line of teachers, though, is it grandma or grandpa?
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You posted and got crickets? Have you got crickets every time? No, no. Oh, I guess it probably would be every time for someone like you. No, I guess it is probably rare to get any traction at all, right?
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Have you ever gotten uploaded a little bit?
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Nice. I thought you were going to say I had such a good post to comment ratio, but you had a good post surgeries.
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Once one retires, the other generation can start working as a teacher.
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I'll share as soon as I post it.
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What about your avatar picture?
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But did you ever change it or was it just the stock one?
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I think I need to change mine.
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Oh, I don't know. I got a report back on all that stuff. Can I tell you one other Reddit thing? Can we just for a second talk about the fucking drones in New Jersey?
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I'm on such a great ride because of Reddit because of them. You know on Reddit, it sometimes sprinkles in things to be like, let's see if you like this.
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So anyways, I sometimes get fed the UFO subreddit because I must have clicked on some UFO thing.
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Okay. So – The UFO Reddit has been going bonkers for the last week and a half, two weeks because of these New Jersey drones. So I kept just seeing in my Reddit feed, New Jersey drone sighting, Jersey drones over and over. I'm like, oh, what the fuck is this? I don't ever look at it.
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Exactly. Then I start seeing headlines in my news feeds saying, mainstream media is like covering it, CNN, NBC. And then I'm like, what the fuck is going on? So I did, here's the like quick little recap past week and a half, two weeks.
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There have been thousands of reports from civilians reporting to authorities from local law people, the FBI, of we keep seeing these SUV-sized drones in the fucking sky in New Jersey.
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I don't know how high they are.
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And so people are saying, what the fuck is going on? It has gotten to the extent that the governor of New Jersey has sent like a formal request to Biden. What is going on with these? There was I saw one thing of a mayor saying. that he didn't know what to make of it. And then finally he had like a trusted neighbor that lives about a block away say, I just saw eight of them over the school.
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Like what is going on? There have been 11 confirmed by our government that have gone into the airspace of, there's like a military manufacturing base in New Jersey. There have been 11 that have crossed into there.
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So people are saying, Why the fuck are these not being shot down?
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I don't know about that aspect of it.
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We don't even know how many. There's thousands of reports. And so people are saying like, OK, maybe there's a lot of these reports are seeing the same events. The government has said, hey, some of these events that you're saying you're seeing, those turned out to be actual manned events. small aircraft. But in general, the government, Pentagon specifically, has been downplaying this a lot.
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The Biden White House has been downplaying it.
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Let me read a couple of the stats because they are saying like there's not – it doesn't seem like there's anything to worry about. It does not seem that they're from a foreign nexus like some other country. Who the fuck is it? Everyone is saying exactly that.
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So who the fuck is it? So tons of people are coming out. Trump, of course, had a great line on it, which I actually support what Trump says in this. He says, let the public know and now otherwise shoot them down and find out what the hell these are, because no one is giving an answer. And so there are so many mayors in New Jersey, tons of people coming out.
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Getting back to your New Jersey thing, I did watch a CNN segment that they were interviewing. Neil deGrasse Tyson, you know, the famous spacey guy. And he said exactly what you said. He says, listen, I don't think these are aliens because I don't think aliens are coming to Jersey if that's not their first stop. Like, why would it be Jersey?
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We just happen to be lucky. We know other people that have had horrible experiences in the L.A. school system, right?
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I think there could definitely be some here.
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I think, yeah. I think it's very possible.
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Do you want to know something?
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Do you want to know something even crazier?
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So I confided, let's be fully transparent. Last night I confided in you this theory that I have. And it's not flimsy, but it's not, I don't have like a smoking gun case situation.
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I can't say. I just feel like I have a smattering, smittering?
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Sprinkling of evidence that they could be. But I said that to you and you were like, holy shit, I can see it.
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Well, this is what I want to say.
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Okay. All right. I'll go along on this. They're not Scientologists.
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I think we're on a list. I think we're on a list of people not cool with Scientologists. I think we're easy to find.
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We've talked so much shit on this show over the years that I think we are on a list.
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of you do not talk to these people at all.
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I think we're big enough, about as big enough that you need to be for Scientologists. Scientologists also are complete bullshit. Their numbers of like the worldwide number of Scientologists is, there's estimates that it's like really small, the amount of number. But they make it seem like there's millions of Scientologists. There's not.
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Yeah, I can work on it. I have ideas.
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And Psychos could be aliens, too.
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Yeah. Yeah. Listen, we can find common ground.
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That's what we're known for, breaking bread with anybody.
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I don't even know where they come from and I don't think you can say it.
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I can't. Anyway, we'll bleep it out. Oh, that's funny. Really?
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Okay. But getting back to the UFOs just for a second, I never really thought this feels like a UFO thing. This does. I don't want to become conspiracy guy, but this does seem like scary government and or foreign government thing.
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But they're drones, but we don't know who's driving them.
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Oh, and here's the other creepy thing. So some of the people that have seen this have said that they look like sometimes they're in formation, multiple of them, doing very slow, calculated, almost like you were farming a field.
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Yeah, this is from Lola over on Apple. Need your thoughts.
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So it's like, what are they looking for?
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So the FBI says they're going to ratchet up the investigation.
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Careful to shit on interns. I know how you love to shit on interns.
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Well, are you talking about Monica Lewinsky?
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But so what were you saying about Monica? Not as much as some.
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You were saying you were Bill Clinton. I get it. Okay. I get it. You had the cigars.
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Nobody's Listening, Right?
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Yeah. But think about just to put this in context for us. I don't think we even realize how this must be all-consuming to New Jersey folk right now. Because imagine if this was happening in L.A.
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Well, they're saying don't take it into your own hands.
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Yeah, people are saying that. But that's only a matter of time if you're not going to give us answers.
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But imagine if we start seeing these all the time and then we hear that Gavin Newsom is literally asking the president what the fuck's going on. We'd be like, what the fuck's going on?
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Okay. I have another quick thing I want to share with you just to check in. My claustrophobia is reaching new heights.
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Now, I think I told you about it. how I was nervous about the MRI when I got an MRI.
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Yeah. And I never really thought of me as this. I can think of a specific situation that really got me, which was, this had to be like six, seven, eight years ago. I had a studio in Burbank.
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And I went to somewhere over in Burbank, like by that old Ikea or something like that. But like, There's a bunch of parking lots structures around there. But I remember taking an elevator in one of those parking structures. I was by myself and it just was going like really slow. Have you ever been in one of those elevators? Like what's going on? And I really like freaked out.
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And thought to myself, like, I'm never going in this parking structure again, elevator situation. So last week I took our son to some arcade thing and we parked in a parking lot. And it was a really busy parking garage. And we were on the third floor of the situation. And we got in. And we got in with, like, a bunch of kind of, like, goth teenagers.
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Yeah. And... We're on the third floor. It gets to the second floor, but the number doesn't change. Like it says third floor. And one of the kids said something like, huh.
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That's weird. But I was already thinking this elevator. I don't like being in this elevator.
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And I mean, I really started freaking out so quick, but I want to keep it cool because our son's with us.
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I was already holding his hand in the elevator. Okay. But I got overwhelmed. And my thought was, I'm obviously not taking this when we come back. And two... Like, I'm done with any situation like this unless, like, I have to. But I was so fucking freaked out.
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Yeah. And I've had it happen recently. I'm trying to think definitely in the last month. And I'm trying to think where where it was just in a situation where I can remember. It was like a line somewhere. And I can remember like almost wanting to push the person in front of me. Like, you're too fucking close. Or it must have been the person behind me. Like, I need more fucking space, sort of.
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This was a Scientologist. Yeah.
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Firstly, my opinion is that your show's the best.
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So he clearly doesn't have a cart.
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Basket or something. But he's like right behind you.
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I did something that I regret doing, and I will probably not do it again.
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Yeah. So I was going to the post office and a car made a very dangerous turn. I was making a right-hand turn into it and then the oncoming traffic was making a left-hand turn. They made a very dangerous left-hand turn.
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No, I don't think that's what you're thinking.
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Yeah. But it was going into it, not out of it.
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But they need to wait for me to turn into the driveway before they come in. But they must have been in such a hurry because it was like they could have hit me. Plus there's other traffic going forward backwards. No. It was a sports car though. But anyways, I clocked it and was like, what the – like, dude, fucking chill. So then I'm pulling into the lot and this car comes in and parks –
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Like, it goes through a bunch of parking spots so it can park, like, illegally the wrong way, pointing the wrong direction. Does that make any sense to you?
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Well, it's hard to – I don't think – I think you know because you know the post office, but – Yeah.
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So I see that happen and I'm like, oh, boy. And I'm still following the rules of how to park, but so then I park right next to him. Right.
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And boy, did we have an interaction when we got out and we nudged each other's shoulders.
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That's why I caveated that I'm not going to do the skin putt. As you say, I must have some rage inside me. I must. What was it? Entitlement. I have some entitlement to the right way of things. It's like I lose all fear and a calmness comes over me. But I'm like, fuck you. And so I made it difficult and awkward for this guy to get out. And I got out and then we hit shoulders.
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And like we both knew what was going on.
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We were both standing our ground. Yeah, we were. I was alone. Okay, good. Oh, I wouldn't do this with the kids.
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Although I do recall one incident in the Target parking lot where I yelled at someone and the kids were with me and I was like, I shouldn't have done that. But anyways, yeah, I don't know. Listen, I might need to deal with some like, you know, some sort of rage issues going on with me. But it's because I almost like... It's like I almost enjoy these moments too much.
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Appreciate that. I've been listening for a couple years now and I shall not stop. Secondly, while I was in the shower just now, I thought of something I'd like to hear your take on. What do you think of this? Public school teachers whose own children are homeschooled. In our small school, there are two teachers whose kids have never gone to public school.
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One of the darker conspiracy theories about it is that the drones are looking for like dirty bombs, like nuclear bombs.
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Oh, sure. Yeah. In some ways, there's extreme versions where it's like, yeah, they're not schooled at all.
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He's also like the luckiest kid on the planet, yet he knows on his birthday something usually happens bad. I didn't tell you last year he had a fall at school on his birthday, if you remember that.
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He had COVID last year. But there's a year that he fell really bad.
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On the way to school, though, on his birthday, he said, this year, nothing's going to happen. I'm not going to fall. I'm not sick. And then sure enough, that day, we get a phone call. He's not sick.
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But she talks to herself in the first person.
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It's beautiful, but it was a good performance. Thanks to my... But what about Our Son's Great and stuff? Was that good?
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Box City. I'm not sure if it's just California or if it's national, but it is a store that you go to to get any sized brown cardboard box and other shipping supplies that you could ever need.
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No, they're just like all there. Okay. So I go in. I've been selling a bunch of gear lately, right? And I love selling stuff on eBay or Reverb is where you sell music stuff. But when I also take a lot of pride and I want to ship that stuff nicely so I get a good review.
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I was just going to say, like, maybe they're some weird religion and they don't want their kids to learn about stuff that they shouldn't learn about.
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I have in the past, but now I almost feel like when I receive those notes, I'm sort of – it depends on the item.
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It feels thirsty and almost a little too homegrown where now I just want the packing slip in there, like feeling pro, if you will.
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But anyways, I sometimes need a box that's the right size.
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And I want exactly the right size. And Box City is where you get that box.
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I'm so past that part of the journey at Box City. Okay. You walk in and there's like a big poster of a list of all the sizes you could ever get at Box City.
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And then it tells you what aisle those are in. But now I sometimes don't even have to look at that. Because I know how they're arranging things at this particular box city that I go to.
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It's unreal. I mean, think about it. You know what a cardboard box smells like.
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So think of a brand new cardboard box.
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Oh, interesting. I don't know where these boxes are made, but they smell great. And the whole store smells just like that smell.
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I've been eyeing this hat for over a year.
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You are such a pervert. You are. No, I'm not. You are. No, I'm not.
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Okay, listen. Is it possible that, like, someone like you might for a moment be like, is it that kind of box? It's possible, but Elizabeth...
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No, but do you see, it's such a jump to make. I hear your point, but it's Box City. So what, Pussy City? Yes. What does Pussy City mean? If I'm wearing a hat that says Pussy City, what does that mean?
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Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, what? That's a hard thing to do. Okay. Okay. Oh, fuck. I'm a fucking box city. Clearly.
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I have to marry Costco and kill Target.
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I want to tell you why, though. St. Monica turned me on to that podcast called Acquired, where each episode, these guys do like a three-hour deep dive on businesses.
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And there is a Costco episode. That is like the origins of Costco and their ethos and everything. Costco is an incredible company and that's who I'd want to marry.
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Because they have such a good heart.
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I know. But you're asking who I want to marry and spend my life with?
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You have a good heart. You have a good heart.
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And to me, going to Costco is a much more magical experience than Target. OK, you're magical. Just imagine if you see how I'm deciding here.
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I love Target so much, but I don't need to fuck you, Target. And what else am I going to do?
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That wasn't the question. You said fuck, marry, kill.
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Yeah, in all these scenarios, that's exactly what I'm imagining.
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I'm going to have to think of an equivalent for you that's as big of a doozy because that was incredible.
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And they take a lot of, we've learned, a lot of pride in their, would you call it universal? Yeah, education system. Like they just take so much more pride than we do in ours. And ours is a state-based system as well, which makes it more difficult.
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Oh, I don't think that's coming into play for this.
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I think you have that fear way, way more than most people.
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No, no, no. I'm not saying it's an irrational fear, but I think like statistically your child being harmed in a school shooting is incredibly low.
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One of the teachers comes from a line of public school teachers who don't send their kids to public school. I find it curious.
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Yeah, no one's saying against that. I'm guessing that that's not coming into... You're just talking about the issue at hand. Yeah, yeah. I think, listen, as a son of a teacher who's taught, my mom's taught in private schools, Catholic schools, other religious schools, public schools.
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International schools. I do know that as a teacher, you can, you are going to vent, complain about the problems at the different schools that you're teaching.
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Yeah. And so I can understand that if you're a public school teacher and you're seeing all the issues with everything that you could become jaded and not want your kids to go to that school. It's not a good look, though. I mean, it just...
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if you are going to do something that's admirable as being a teacher, which I think is a really admirable profession, for some reason, you not having your kids participate in school, like it's, it'd be one thing if you've sent them to a private school, which I'm like, that's not that great of a look, but to take them out of school completely to be homeschooled, it's just like, so you have no faith in this system at all.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I don't like it. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I do understand that you have an inside bird's view of the system. And you might think, well, this isn't good for the kids. So I understand both sides of it. Just not a good look for me. And that's all I care about.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Honestly, that's the craziest part of this whole thing. Who is teaching them? You going home and teaching them after you get home? Right.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
We want to thank this week's sponsor, ZocDoc, for supporting Nobody's Listening Right. ZocDoc is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun. Go to ZocDoc.com and download the ZocDoc app to sign up for free and book a top-rated doctor.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Oh, shit. I would love to talk about it.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Well, I went to Costco, my safe place, my wonderful place. Going at the holidays, extra fun, extra stressful, though, because the crowds come out in droves. So you got to be really mindful when to go. And I think I figured it out. I go now on like a Tuesday, Wednesday, right at noon, which you would think would be crazy because you think there'd be people hitting that food court hard, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But then where do you put that ham? Is it sitting in your car all day?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah, but who's homeschooling these kids?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But so I used to think I'll go to Costco right when it opens.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
At 10. That's not smart because everyone has that thought. So there's a surge at the beginning of the opening hours at Costco. So I go now at like 12, 12, 15. I do my shop. That's going to take 45 minutes. Then I come out and the lunch crowd at the food court has died down a bit and I get my slice of pizza.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Yeah, you can use boxes. I honestly just kind of everything goes back into the cart. I'm not even a box slut, really.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
That's what they're called, box sluts.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So why not gender it that these are male teachers who are having their wives stay at home and homeschool the kids?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
You... You just don't go to Costco and you haven't been there. That whole thing of the boxing isn't really even a thing because now everything's like packaged for Costco.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So I don't think once in the last five years I've ever gone to like get an empty box to do. It just all goes back in the cart and everything's packaged nicely.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
Anyways, it is busy this time of year and there's like the Christmas toy section, which is so fun. There's a lot of fun stuff. Oh, But something new happened. Wow. We would get their muffins. Lots of people get their muffins. They're delicious.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
So it's mix and match, two six-packs, $10, $9.99. Okay.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
They're huge, but they're pretty good. We like them. The kids like them. I always sort of wish, because it is separate packs, that can I just get six blueberry muffins? Why do I have to get the other six packs? Just charge me $5. Let me tell you something. If you get up to the front with just one, they're not charging you $5. They're charging you $10.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
It's go get another one or pay $10 for this just one, right?
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
I've tried. This is ages ago. I'm a much smarter Costco shopper now. But something new happened.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There's a new muffin game come to play at Costco. They have switched from six packs to eight packs. And the price is now, I want to say it was $6.99 or $5.99. Okay. That's probably really important. So I wish I had that perfect.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But it's an eight pack now. But the other part of the headline is the muffins have shrunk. Now, I saw them and I thought, ooh, a new type of muffin. Like the blueberry muffins are now a blueberry, what do you call it, like cream muffin, yogurt cream. There's some sort of name like that.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
There's a new raspberry lime muffin, which I haven't tried yet. Maybe a seasonal offering.
Nobody's Listening, Right?
147 - New Jersey Drones and Costco Muffins
But they look smaller and it was a cheaper price. I don't have to, 12 now. I was welcoming this change. I thought this might be good for a family like us. That's four of us. That's two days worth of muffins.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
LOVE EXPERT Stephan Speaks: 7 Ways You are Blocking Yourself From Meeting Your Soulmate (Change Your Patterns to Find the ONE)
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
Otherworld
Episode 124: Off Trail
Monsters Among Us is a weekly podcast featuring true stories of the paranormal.
Otherworld
Episode 124: Off Trail
Hosted by me, your guide, Derek Hayes. Somehow I lost eight whole hours. Listen now on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Otherworld
Episode 124: Off Trail
Up in the sky. It's almost frustrating that it's happening. I'm going to die. His limbs were just like, wrong.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
The Hard Truth About Orgasms in Sports, with Domonique Foxworth
How can I ever face myself again?
Pablo Torre Finds Out
The Hard Truth About Orgasms in Sports, with Domonique Foxworth
Orlando Cabrera is tonight's Red Sox hero. Walk-off home run. Red Sox win it in the 12-7-6.
Pablo Torre Finds Out
The Hard Truth About Orgasms in Sports, with Domonique Foxworth
Keeps your mind sharp.
Pardon My Take
Pat Bev In Studio, The Cowboys Are Deader Than Dead, College Football Talk + The Jets Have Reached The Bottom
Hmm.
Pardon My Take
Pat Bev In Studio, The Cowboys Are Deader Than Dead, College Football Talk + The Jets Have Reached The Bottom
Why?
Renewing Your Mind
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray
I remember first hearing Renewing Your Mind in 2002. I was so riveted by Dr. Sproul's explanation of the scriptures and his obvious gift for sound doctrine. I was totally blown away. I had come from a very... abusive childhood and at the time had been self-medicating and had wound up getting addicted to drugs.
Renewing Your Mind
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray
But after hearing Dr. Sproul and going back every day thereafter to listen to him on Renewing Your Mind, I started to develop a real hunger for God's Word. And I can't go a day without listening to one of his messages. And it's just such a great blessing. And I can't thank you all enough. I love what you're doing.
Renewing Your Mind
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray
And, you know, now that I'm, gosh, going to be 11 years into my sobriety in a couple of weeks, I can look back and really credit Dr. Sproul's inspiration with getting me where I am today. God bless you all. And thank you so much.
Renewing Your Mind
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray
I'm 86 years old and I listened to R.C. Sproul for about 10 years. And there was times when I was trying to commit suicide and He'd come up with one of those children's stories that he wrote, and it sort of got me through that. Then again, at another time, I felt like committing suicide because I wanted to give up because my family abandoned me.
Renewing Your Mind
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray
And again, I heard him do one of those children's stories and got me through the suicide feeling again. And even when I heard that he passed on, I missed some of his stories, and I'm glad they bring him on once again to describe the Bible and the love God has for us.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Yeah.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Oh, yeah.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Wow.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Yeah.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Wow.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Yeah.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Mm-hmm.
Rotten Mango
A-List Actress Passed - Billionaire Ex-Husband & Mom Exposed For Abuse & Won’t Stop Spreading Lies
Mm-hmm.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
To the caller in the recent podcast who was concerned about her boyfriend looking up escort pages online, as Dan predicted, this is one of what are probably going to be many calls coming in to say that this is actually pretty normal.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
Unless you're in a big city with a very thriving nightlife, and even then, even if this is the case, most of those pages, most of those ads probably aren't especially current. They aren't even necessarily local. What they are is pictures of very hot people wearing with descriptions of things that they would gladly do to you if you pay for the booking fee.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
So it's a bite-sized little fantasy all in one place, and probably makes for, you know, easy flipping through for the Spank Bank. No, this is actually probably pretty normal. Everything should be fine.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
Dan, comment on the lady whose date out of full-body orgasm sitting in the restaurant. I agree with you, it sounds a little bullshit-y. However, I have personally experienced through focused meditation techniques, things that seem a lot like a full-body orgasm. It's not sexual. It is spiritual. It is physical. And it is ecstatic and beautiful. And also, oddly enough, very reminiscent of MDMA.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
And also, oddly enough, pretty much readily available whenever I need to call on it. And I've had others validate that This is also available to them, and it's not about thinking about it. It's literally about not thinking about it. Good luck.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 951
the guy dating the thin woman do not under any circumstances tell this 24 year old woman to gain weight are you kidding me oh my gosh she will hold on to it for the rest of her life especially at that age women are just fed this idea that you're supposed to be perfect in order to be lovable And all of these little comments, I can remember like it was yesterday.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 951
The things that were said to me at that age, it really just cements inside of you. So if you truly want to adhere by the campsite rule, you will end things because you're clearly not attracted to this woman. And you will not say anything about not being attracted to her when you do that. This is the time when white lies are necessary. You'll say that. You know, you just start feeling it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 951
Hey, this is a response to the caller in episode 950 whose partner makes really off-putting noises when he comes. I think Dan's response was great. I hit the nail on the head. I just wanted to chime in with some personal experience. I have a partner who, when she comes, makes a frankly unattractive face and I fucking love it because I know, you know, knowing her as I do, she would
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 951
I wouldn't choose to make that embarrassing face if she could help it. But that's the thing. She can't help it. In that moment, she is completely surrendered to her pleasure and in the throes of ecstasy. And that's because of something I did or something she did or something we did together. And that's amazing. And so I don't know if you can't appreciate that for the great turn on that it is.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
Hi, this is for the caller who is thinking about marrying the guy that doesn't fit her usual, quote, type, and she's kind of worried about sexual attraction in the long run. I am here from the future to tell you that it's absolutely possible to get what you want with your wonderful, quote, not your type partner.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
I was in exactly the same place, always dated this specific kind of type of mine, which was really based on, like, childhood things and trauma and all of that. And I married the man who doesn't fit any of that at all. In fact, he was too nice at first and we broke up for a short while. And now we've been together for 18 years. We have opened our marriage.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
We explore all sorts of dirty things together. And it's just the incredible experience to have that wonderful, safe person at home to support you in all of those things. Good luck.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
Hi, this is a response to the caller in episode 945 who's trying to get away from the narcissist. I have been there actually in my early 20s. I was in a similar relationship. It sucked. Everything Dan said was spot on. And I also want to add, because you said the word addiction, I would recommend treating it as one, which means no contact. I wrote a letter to my narcissist and explained that
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
Being in contact with him was going to mean that we eventually repeated the cycle and I wanted more for myself. And so the letter was helpful because he couldn't respond to it, blocked him on everything, blocked his number, blocked the socials. Because if he has access to you, he will pull you back in to this familiar pattern. It hijacks your brain chemistry.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
There's almost nothing you can do about it if you stay in contact. The other thing I would do and did do is... Just really involve your friends and family in supporting you in this. I think it would probably go a long way to tell them, this is what I've done to try to just get this person out of my life. I need your help keeping me busy. Come with me to the bars or wherever you go to meet people.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
Just really involve them in keeping you busy so that your mind is not going to just stay stuck in this pattern. I promise better things are ahead. You just need to close the door and lock it.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
This message is for the caller in episode 945, the one whose wife doesn't want to have sex with him anymore after the birth and breastfeeding of two children. The question quickly becomes, how can we get this guy laid? But I feel like what he really wants is his wife back, not just as a companion, a partner, but as his lover. To me, it sounds like she's simply exhausted.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
I mean, she still masturbates, so she ain't broke. My question would be, what is he doing to alleviate that exhaustion? Is he doing fully half of all the household chores? What about the childcare place? Do they call him first or the mom if the kids get sick? Does he go to the grocery store? Does he make meal plans? Does he make dinner without even waiting to be asked?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
And my question would be, what is he doing to make himself more fuckable? Women have been given tons of advice about how to keep themselves attractive to their husbands. What about this guy? Does he keep himself well-groomed and smelling nice? Is he friendly and easy to talk to, nonjudgmental? Does he play her favorite music and make her favorite meals?
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
Is he cleaning the house in his shortest shorts and no shirt on? I feel like the most harmonious resolution to this guy's problem is to be patient with his wife, to tell her that he appreciates her willingness to open the marriage, but for now, he just wants to focus on her and their marriage. Then start planning date nights where sex isn't even on the table.
Savage Lovecast
Savage Lovecast Episode 946
You're just out enjoying each other's company. I remember when my kids were young, I was always surprised by how quickly my sex drive would return when I would spend time away from them. Get her out of the house. Make her feel seen and appreciated and give her the time and space to heal and then come to you. Maybe she'll be your lover again.
Science Vs
ADHD: Do We All Have It?
Just trying so hard not to mess up and not trying to forget things or miss things. I've been fired from jobs because of it. It's impacted friendships. I forgot phone calls. I've lost important documents. I mean, it's... It feels like it's trying to hold water in a strainer kind of situation. Right. Okay.
Science Vs
ADHD: Do We All Have It?
Hyper-focus, you get so engrossed that you sort of lose track of time. You might forget to eat or sleep or go to the bathroom. I have trouble regulating emotions. Mood swings 24-7.
Science Vs
ADHD: Do We All Have It?
That Pixar Disney movie Inside Out, imagine if all the emotions took steroids. That's basically what I experience. I have extreme highs, extreme lows. I don't like to admit this, but I often freak out or just kind of have meltdowns over small things. And then I end up feeling a little dumb just because I'm like, why did I overreact so much?
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
Meth is bad. It's going to rot your teeth out of your head.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
Math is bad. It's going to rot your teeth out of your head. Don't do it. And this is... Hi, my name is Kato Mellie. I'm a researcher at Columbia University Department of Psychology and at the New York State Psychiatric Institute.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
No. You know, it's very unlikely that methamphetamine itself is eating away at your teeth.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
Here's Kate. Perhaps they're not brushing their teeth and flossing twice a day. Are you surprised by this? I mean, there's Occam's razor. Sometimes the simplest answer is the most likely.
Search Engine
Should we be worried about OpenAI?
My friend Zoe is lurking outside because she's the one that introduced me to the podcast. Ha ha ha! So she's looking at a leaf excitedly and giving me strange looks.
Search Engine
Should we be worried about OpenAI?
There are some fun use cases like extending images a little bit larger in Photoshop. There's languages that are like non-Latin that have funky characters with no spaces like Japanese. And sometimes I have to do translated websites for events that are happening in, say, West Japan.
Search Engine
Should we be worried about OpenAI?
And when that happens... I have to include manual breaks for the lines because if there aren't manual breaks, the meaning will change. And so I will sometimes use AI to help me find the best breaks that can be there every possible spot.
Search Engine
Should we be worried about OpenAI?
A little bit. I know we sent a site to a client in like a local office to someone who spoke Japanese, and it didn't go the best. They had to respond back and say like, hey, this doesn't work. This isn't going to be okay.
Search Engine
Should we be worried about OpenAI?
I get to spend more of my time doing the actual like creative, intensive and UX parts of web design versus the menial kind of repetitive parts.
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: The Collar Bomb Heist
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: The Collar Bomb Heist
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: Are crickets the future of food?
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
Stuff You Should Know
Selects: Are crickets the future of food?
So my fiance and I have been together for 10 years. In the first two years of being together, I find out he is cheating on me, not only with women, but also with men. What should I do?
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ben Shapiro’s Book Club | The Screwtape Letters
I recently listened to an episode of Young Heretics where Spencer Clavin talks about the resurgence of Christianity after World War I amongst writers like C.S. Lewis and his contemporaries. And my question is, do you sense that there is a resurgence of religiosity happening now? I am an example of someone who sort of lost my relationship with the Catholic Church. I'm 34 now. I have two kids.
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ben Shapiro’s Book Club | The Screwtape Letters
And my husband and I have been bringing our children back to church. And I don't think I'm an anomaly, especially looking around at the other families in church on Sundays. So what do you think?
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ben Shapiro’s Book Club | The Screwtape Letters
Hey, Ben, I love that you're covering a Lewis book. I'm a big fan of his, and I have this particular question for you. C.S. Lewis describes humility as the chief virtue of Christianity, and obviously he believed that God came in human flesh and died, resurrected for the sake of others, and that being the ultimate form of humility. And I'm curious if there is a mirror image of that in Judaism.
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ben Shapiro’s Book Club | The Screwtape Letters
Does humility play as important a role in Judaism as it does in Christianity?
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ben Shapiro’s Book Club | The Screwtape Letters
Hey, Ben, I have a question for you about demons. Do you believe in them yourself? And if so, are they just a way to... generally personify evil or are they individual entities with their own personalities?
The Bread Basket Podcast
TikTok Is BACK, Draft Of Things That Start With "B", Trump's Inauguration, And UFC 311 Recap
What?
The Bread Basket Podcast
TikTok Is BACK, Draft Of Things That Start With "B", Trump's Inauguration, And UFC 311 Recap
Where is the taste? Where is the taste? Where is the taste?
The Bread Basket Podcast
TikTok Is BACK, Draft Of Things That Start With "B", Trump's Inauguration, And UFC 311 Recap
God.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
Okay.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Bread Basket Podcast
WE MADE IT TO EPISODE 100, Luka-AD INSANE Trade, And Draft Of Things We'll Think Are Dumb In 20 Years
100%.
The Commercial Break
Now The Good Neighbors Know!
Hi, Brian and Chrissy and crew. Valentine's Day is not something that I personally have celebrated since, you know, back in school days when you handed out the little Valentine's Day to everybody in the class.
The Commercial Break
Now The Good Neighbors Know!
However, my ex-husband, I say ex for definite reason, not long after I had given birth, decided that Valentine's Day would be the perfect day to get me a set of workout DVDs so that I could get into shape.
The Commercial Break
Now The Good Neighbors Know!
Yeah, what a jerk. Anyways, best to y'all. You guys are always number one in my queue.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
Hi, Michael and everyone at The Daily. Good morning. Hey. Hi, Daily. Hello.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
I have so many questions. I'm struggling to choose priority.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
Good morning. My name is Cynthia Janzura. Now, seeing the way the stock market is seesawing, we are terrified. Is a recession coming? Therefore, keep our money close to the pocket and not spend it whatsoever? We just don't know.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
Hi, New York Times. My name is Molly. I'm a 25-year-old teacher from Chicago. And all I've been hearing about and reading about from various news agencies is that pretty much every economist thinks that we are headed for a recession. So one, are we going into recession? Two, what are the indicators of how bad it is going to be?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
And three, what can we do to keep it from being as disastrous as the one back in 2008?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
I'm 29 years old and I live in Houston, Texas.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
How many American businesses will even survive this?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
And my question is, how or if tariffs will affect U.S. interest rates and building supply costs?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
I am 40 years old and I have an MBA and I can't find a job. And I'm not alone. I'm not really sure what's going on with the job market.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
I keep hearing the phrase, the job market is just really tough right now, and I'm sure many people in my same position could relate. Why is it so hard for me to get a job, even though I have all the things I've been told my whole life I need to get a job?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
With everything going on right now, what does the job market look like for those of us graduating college within the next year or so?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
My name is May. I am 29 and I live in Los Angeles, California.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
My name is Hannah. I'm 34 and I live in Salt Lake City.
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
Should I be increasing my 401k contribution and buying up as much stock as I can? Is the priority to save money or pay off debt first?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
I just qualified to apply for a 401k with my company. I've never had a 401k before and I'm wondering, is this a good time to open my 401k account because prices are so low?
The Daily
You Have Questions About the Economy. We Have Answers.
My dad used to work in finance and I feel like he would disown me if he knew we weren't really investing right now because historically over time, despite any bumps and bruises along the way, the stock market goes up. But I'm just not so sure anymore. What if that trend is over?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
What's the last three emojis there? What were those? Sparkles. What's a sparkle emoji? I don't even know that. Is it just like a sparkler?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Yeah, sparkles, sparkler I've used. Sparkles, I don't know how that would be shown in an emoji. I've never seen it, I've never used it, I'm just curious. So, do you know what sparkles look like? No, I know what a sparkle looks like, I know what fireworks look like. I don't know what sparkles are supposed to...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Sam, is there any concern at all that Boston missing 45 three-point shots is a large reason why your team barely won in overtime?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Oh, sieh, ich sehe das Sparkle-Emoji gerade. Es sieht nicht so aus wie irgendwas. Es sieht aus wie die Insignie eines Autos. Es sieht aus wie ein Automobil-Logo oder so. Wie ein Scion. Yeah, it's just useless.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Don Kang snuck in one of my favorite words of all time, by the way, ineffable.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
It's a wonderful, you never hear anybody use that word. Thank you, Don Kang.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Boxing-Promoter, oder? Don Kang. Oh, ich bin nur verrückt. Wer sprichst du? Don Kang, der Boxing-Promoter. Es war nur ein kleiner... Ein verständlicher Fehler, mein lieber Freund. Danke.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
I had to do it. When you say you were flying spirit, you actually had to fly the plane, because at that money, you don't even get a pilot, right? I mean, how much did you spend for a bag of peanuts? I didn't buy anything. I told you, I raw dogged it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Dom Kang Returns (feat. Sam Morril)
Ich finde es lustig, dass er so viel Kredit dafür bekommt, den Pass am Ende des Spiels zu machen. Nun, er wurde nie als selbstloser Spieler bekannt, er ist nicht, wie man es denkt, aber er ist ein guter Passer. Er hat die Liga drei Mal in Assistenzen gewonnen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
The Big Suey: The New York Jets Mess Continues To Grow (Feat. Dianna Russini)
24 was rough, the dolphins are done McDaniel tried his best, just wasn't enough Bright spots they had a few and Johnny was one
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
Okay, wait. We can't just blow past by what happened over the holidays.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
We hit a million. Oh, we got a million. We did it. Our listeners are amazing.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
All right, this is from Jennifer. She says, for Thanksgiving, we had plans with my daughter, her fiance, and their new baby to go see my parents in California. We had everything planned to help her feel less anxious with the drive with the new baby. She's a very anxious first-time mom.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
She texts, doesn't call, but texts me three days before we are to leave to tell me they can't go to a big project that he has due after the holiday, and if he fails it, he probably won't graduate. By the way, she just dropped out in her senior year to have the baby. I feel like they should have planned better when he knew this project was due from the beginning of the semester.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
She doesn't really seem to care how anyone else feels about this. Yet, she is upset with me for going to Texas for Christmas for two weeks to see my son's family and my other daughter. She said that I ruined her baby's first Christmas. Who's right here? I'm sick of fighting about this. She's 22 and knows everything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
I agree. I think that the 22-year-old is selfish, but they're 22. And again, you have no control over that decision. You can be disappointed about it. And I understand her disappointment because she wants her parents to meet the grandbaby. Of course she does. I totally understand that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
Yeah, you're not going to win. You're going to lose that every time. And... But also, you know, with the 22-year-old being mad now because you went to see them over Christmas, tough crap.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
Exactly. Right? Yeah. I'm not going to let you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
Sorry you feel that way. Yeah, exactly.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Late to Save My Marriage?
Right. She got pregnant. There was no medication or any kind of.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
By protecting this part of his story, he's depriving himself of the opportunity to find out if this history with his dad is in fact as shameful and as dangerous as he suspects it is.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
He's also depriving her of the opportunity to appreciate a very significant part of his life, this trauma he's been through, and I'm sure it was a trauma for him, even if he wasn't the primary victim, and to accept this part of his story, which, frankly, he deserves, too.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
That's a good point because this might reverberate in the way that they meet certain aspects of their child, right? We can only be as empathetic to other people, especially our children, as we are to ourselves. So this matters in a few big ways.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I really love that script. And by doing that, you're also giving your girlfriend all of the information she needs to know where you are with all of this, what to make of it, how she feels. Because, look, you cannot secure her empathy by trying to manage things in a way that, you know. makes her identify with you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I think that might be another subtle form of control, but by letting her in on why this part of your life has been so painful to talk about, by being vulnerable about everything that your dad brings up for you, I think you will be inviting the best parts of her to this conversation and she gets to decide how to respond.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But all that said, you have to go into this conversation understanding that you will never know 100% what you're going to get back. You asked us whether this news will make her see you in a different light, whether she's going to lump you in with your dad. And my answer to that is, I don't know. There's no way to know. I really hope that she meets you with empathy, curiosity, understanding.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And if your relationship is as strong as you say it is, I think it's extremely likely that she will. So try to go into this with hope, with confidence. But Part of that confidence is knowing that there are good reasons to tell her about what your father did, even if you don't get the exact response that you're hoping for. It's her job to listen to your story with compassion.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
It's also your job to welcome her response, whatever it is, with openness. It's a tough story to take in. It has some very big implications for your relationship, for how you guys are going to parent your child, for the family that she's entering, for the rules that you guys are going to establish, for the new family you're creating. There is... a lot going on for your partner as well.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
So if her first response is different from what you want, take a deep breath, make room for that, and just remind yourself that this conversation will continue. The next day, she might come back to you in a new way, or a week later, she might go, look, I'm really angry at you for not telling me about this sooner, but I've thought about it and I do understand. So let's keep talking.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Both of your abilities to make room for multiple feelings here, that's going to play a huge role in how you guys navigate this together.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I know we've gone very deep on this question. It's such a fascinating and complicated one. But there is one more important thing we have to touch on, which is this thing that he said, how he's on friendly terms with his dad because he's done a lot of serious personal work on himself. And he also said he tends to be super forgiving toward people, in his words, to avoid harboring resentment.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
We got to talk about that. Yeah, I have a lot of questions about that myself. So obviously I'm very interested in the process your father went through in confronting what he did, addressing whatever pathology or whatever trauma led him to do something so terrible to his own children.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I mean, look, we could be charitable and say that maybe this meditation practice was so deep that it forced him to confront all of the things that led him to abuse his children. And now he sees his mind more clearly and he's made progress somehow. But I'm with you. This is the kind of thing that typically requires therapy, deep therapy. because it is so dark. It's so violent. It's so complex.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I just don't know if I buy that meditation alone, however profound, could have transformed him.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I mean, again, with respect for this meditation practice, which does sound like it's been very powerful for you, and I'm glad to hear that. It's just not something I would personally point to and say, I think we can be confident that dad is safe for our child. Now he's healed. We can bring our family around him. I just don't know.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
The other side of this coin is the process that you went through. You can't quite articulate how your dad has changed, so I guess I just want to ask, is it possible that you might have let your father off the hook a little too easily for what he did, or at least jumped to forgiveness rather quickly?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
It does. Or maybe he just fast-forwarded through some stuff, which I guess that's basically the same thing, but... The piece of this that's most significant to me is that he tends to be super forgiving in order to avoid harboring resentment. That's the thing.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yeah. I mean, harboring resentment toward a parent, especially for something as awful as sexual abuse, is obviously very painful. It might also be appropriate. I'm not saying that he should walk around with a burning rage toward his father for the rest of his life. He can and he should go through a process of grief and acceptance and all the things.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And maybe that leads into saying, dad, in my own way, I forgive you. But anger, disappointment, embarrassment, sadness. I think all of these feelings deserve to be on the table, too.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
So where do those feelings go when you can't tolerate the distress of feeling them? They have to go somewhere, right? They go underground. They become unconscious. They come out in other ways, including perhaps this fear he has about how his partner will respond to this revelation.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Which is an interesting detail. And who knows what process that sister went through. It might have been very healthy and productive. She might also be struggling to work through this. But there's at least one example in this family of someone going, this is not okay. We can't be close.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yeah, you just need to sit, bro. But it's interesting that the other sister feels differently. Apparently she's done a lot of processing before. he said, around this trauma and they're friendly now.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Also, given everything we've talked about, I also have questions about what qualifies as a lot of processing in this family. So there are a range of responses in the aftermath of this abuse. I don't presume to know which one is the right one for each person in this family. That is entirely up to them individually to decide.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
What I do know is that forgiveness, true forgiveness, as we've talked about on the show before, is a process. And it can be a very long and complicated process in a case like this. I think that process can contain periods where anger and sadness and shame
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
and disgust pop up again and again, and where those feelings can exist alongside the forgiveness, where they almost become part of the forgiveness in a weird way. And you might even have to forgive someone over and over again, even as the memory of what happened continues to cause you pain. But jumping straight to, I forgive you because not forgiving you
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
is just too uncomfortable for me to live with, that's a different thing. I offer this question to our friend here. What did it actually mean for you to forgive your dad? Was it true forgiveness or was it, I'm just going to put this to bed and ignore it because it's too painful for me?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And I have to imagine that that's created some tension among the siblings. I have to think that the sister who cut ties with dad has some feelings about that, and that's tough too.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But look, the other reason that this whole forgiveness thing matters is if he did bypass some anger toward his dad, does that speak to a larger way of dealing with his feelings that might also be showing up in the way that he's kept the secret from his partner?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
It's possible. I don't want to harbor resentment toward people. So I forgive you, dad. I don't want to feel shame about my past. So I'm not going to tell my girlfriend about what my dad did. It's just an interesting parallel there that he might want to notice.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
You're like, that one's just too long.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Hello, Jordan and Gabe. I'm in my late 30s, and I recently started a new job at a utility company. Positions at this company don't open up very often because they are one of the few companies that still offer a pension with no max outdate, so people tend to stay until they're ready to retire. That's great for my personal long-term income and stability, but...
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
It also means that a lot of my coworkers and the leadership team are much older than me. We're talking 15 plus years, at least. As a result, I'm facing some challenges. One is that the pace of work is much slower. Another is that it's been difficult to gain respect from these older colleagues and to be seen as an equal. For example, some of them call me the little boy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
On a personal level, it's also hard to relate to one another, and they aren't willing to do social activities such as lunch or happy hours. The fun events that the company does organize tend to have low attendance.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I really don't want to quit, since it would be nice to have a pension, and most likely I won't have an opportunity to come back if I do leave due to the high retention rate of the company. Is there a way to make this work? What are some strategies you guys would use in this situation? How do you gain the respect of people who are much older than you?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Signed, trying to make a study of becoming buddy-buddy with these distant fuddy-duddies who treat me like a little guppy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
It's going straight nursery rhyme on your ass today.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Dot, dot, dot. The Gen Z kid gets kicked out of the company bowling party or whatever for making tick tocks in the bathroom. Comedy ensues. Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Thank you. Thank you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
AI is incredibly power demanding and will only get worse as scaled.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
then there's moore's law the principle that semiconductor sizes shrink by a factor of two every x years that will soon be facing quantum limits and the sizes of atoms which i'm just side note barely smart enough to understand that point but i think i get it there are limits to how efficient i guess this can be ai uses data which will bake in societal biases of the training data from which it is sourced
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
You can't just keep getting smaller and smaller.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Humans will naturally stop double-checking AI results the more confident it is, leading to confident hallucinations being ignored.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yep. Despite all this, your use cases do seem valid and interesting. Using AI to find sources seems interesting from engines like find.com, d.com, that focus on attribution.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
If you want to continue singing the praises of AI, I would suggest learning a bit more about what's under the hood. It is fascinating stuff. Essentially, it's very clever linear algebra and exploits how innately powerful language is. What are your thoughts on AI reliance? Are there any particular points from my rant that you'd like to push back on?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
From a curious, skeptic, techie listener, signed, Concerned about the flaws of LLMs like Claude, which are essentially a facade, definitely not the word of God, and might, in fact, be leaving us mentally to Claude.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I also worry about what it's going to do to how we relate to one another. People are using AI to reach out to people, to respond to emails, but it's not really them. So it's like, are machines just going to be talking to machines on behalf of people now all the time or most of the time?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
That's fine when you're scheduling a meeting, but when you're actually talking about something meaningful, when you're trying to exchange emails about like your life and trying to respond to somebody who shared something important, I don't know. That just makes me sad.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I'm sure she does. And also, please stop referring to me as your AI girlfriend. It's just really awkward.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Dear Jordan and Gabe, my girlfriend and I are both high-functioning autistic and have been together for about six or seven months. We love each other and have discussed a future together, but we face significant obstacles.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
One challenge is the way that society often treats autistic individuals, regardless of age or accomplishments, as if we're children incapable of making our own decisions about love and life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Another challenge is the 26-year gap between us. I'm 49 and she's 23. Nice.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
That is quite a gap, man. Despite this, we share similar interests and are very happy together.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I'm currently married.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I'm currently married, but have been extremely unhappy in my relationship for years. My girlfriend brought me a sense of hope and happiness. She sees me as someone worthy of love and affection.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
He's going to explain a little bit more in a moment.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
My girlfriend was the one who pursued me. Early on, her mother read our conversations and seemed okay with our relationship, until we discussed moving in together. Unfortunately, since then, she's become very controlling and has gone to extreme lengths to prevent us from communicating, including destroying my girlfriend's phones and blocking me on chat apps.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
My girlfriend has told me that her mother behaves this way whenever she gets close to a man. Her mother seems to want to keep her trapped at home under strict rules, controlling her food, whereabouts, even requiring her to be in her room by 8pm. I worry that my girlfriend's anxiety may be exacerbated by her mother's controlling behavior.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
23.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Especially he said they're both high functioning autistic. So it's not like she needs to manage her daughter in some extraordinary way. It's interesting. I wonder if all of this says more about the mom or is this an example of what he was talking about? How society often treats autistic people like their children who can't make their own decisions.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
My girlfriend was able to get on a waiting list for her own apartment due to her disability, but it won't be available until sometime later this year. We live in New York State, and someone mentioned that she might be under a guardian until she's 26.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
In the meantime, my spouse and I have discussed our situation and agreed that divorce is the best option. Everything would be ideal if not for these external circumstances. I feel like I've met my soulmate, but we're being kept apart. Is my girlfriend's mother's behavior abusive? What is the best course of action? Signed, eager to make things neater when this mom is my girlfriend's keeper.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
No, not exactly. The timeline is fuzzy. It sounds to me like they met while he was still married, not separated, and only later they decided to get a divorce.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
He says he was unhappy for years before that. But I don't know if that changes the facts.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I really can't get a good read on this, mother.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
So the girlfriend is saying that her mom gets this way whenever she gets close to a man, which if that's true, that is objectively concerning. And I think that speaks to something weird and coercive in the mom. She doesn't want her daughter to separate and have her own life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But to your point, does her mom have some reason to keep such close tabs on her? Is there something we don't know here that might explain some of this?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yes, for sure. And then maybe ask your girlfriend to ask her mom if she would be willing to sit down with you so you can meet her if you haven't met her yet. Talk to her. Maybe you can answer whatever questions she might have about the relationship. You could try to understand her concerns better. This might just be a conversation you guys need to have.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yeah, I think that might solve 90 plus percent of this. My only other thought for you is try to make room for everybody's perspectives here, including this mom who feels like the obvious villain here. And for all we know, she is the villain.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But like we keep saying, she might also have some fair reasons to be a little suspicious of you and to want to protect her daughter and who also might be confused sometimes about the best way to do that. I know I'm being very charitable here, but I am giving her the benefit of the doubt because I have to imagine that her job has not always been easy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
That's also important, by the way, if you ever do sit down and talk with her, which I think is coming one way or the other if you and your girlfriend are really going to move forward together openly. Whether you like this woman or not, I think you're going to have to try to understand her to some degree if you want to repair this relationship and truly be with your girlfriend.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Dear Jordan and Gabe, I'm 35 years old, and for the last six months I've worked as a systems administrator for a very large corporation. I had been trying to move away from the help desk career I was stuck in for the past decade, and I saw this as my way out. I'm paid well, for the most part. The work itself is mostly easy. It's a short commute, and I like a few people I work with.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But aside from that, this is one of the worst jobs I have ever had. The work itself is extremely dull. Everyone in my department seems miserable, my team lead is a burnt out weirdo, and my boss is one of the angriest people I have ever worked with.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
He seems like he's quite burnt out as well, but that didn't stop him from putting me on blast in front of my entire department because I hadn't yet replied to a couple of emails that were sent less than two days before.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
The other sysadmins and I are supposed to work as a team on various projects, but there's very little teamwork because the office is largely run by a clique consisting of the team lead and a couple of his buddies. while the rest of us have to figure things out on our own. Meanwhile, our boss works almost exclusively from home and seems like he couldn't care less about the day-to-day.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Also, some of my company's internal processes seem very confusing and somewhat shady. I don't want to go on about it, but I'm seriously considering reporting them to the Better Business Bureau or anyone else that I can blow the whistle to. I've already decided to look for a new job after I've worked here for at least a year, unless something massive changes.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But this ordeal has made me reconsider my career path. When I think about some of the best jobs I've had, they've typically been for small businesses and universities, and I'm contemplating moving back in that direction. Problem is, those jobs don't usually pay the same as a Fortune 500 corporation does.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I have a wife and a young child now, so how much money I bring home is more important than ever. Plus, as I've gotten older, I've realized that I've allowed my ego to interfere in my career more than I should have, and I think I might be doing the same in this instance. As much as I detest this place, I think I stand a decent shot of moving up their ladder if I just focus on grinding away.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I'm about to turn 36, so I don't think I have that much time left to keep making career pivots. Do you think I should move away from this corporate IT hellhole? Should I just grow thicker skin and accept that I have to tolerate a little misery if it means providing for my family? Or are my expectations just completely out of line with reality and I just need to look at employment differently?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Signed, going out of my skull when the work is so dull, but it all might be null because it's too late to mull an entirely new call.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Dear Jordan and Gabe, I've been with my girlfriend for about six months now. We're in love, and it's going great. I know it's still new, but we're both very mature. This isn't puppy love. We're both about 41, 42 years old, are emotionally mature, and must say, we're both very introspective and very self-aware. We're on the same page, that we are each other's person.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Then, recently, she became pregnant. Before this, we had talked about whether we'd want to have a child together, and that's been inconclusive, although we're both open to it. We know that we're running short on time to decide whether to have a kid, given the biological factor. Should we decide to go forward with the pregnancy, we are prepared for what it entails.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
We're financially in a good place, and committed to each other. By the way, before you think we're a couple of dumbasses, we were entirely aware that this might happen. We tried a couple birth control options, and they were really not good for her.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
We made a conscious decision to take the risk, understanding that while unlikely to get pregnant at her age, we would accept it if it happens, as we are doing now. It's a big decision to make, but pretty straightforward. Except, about 35 years ago, my dad sexually abused my sisters. I now feel like I have to tell my girlfriend because of the child we might bring into the world.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
She deserves to know. i've leaned toward not telling her because it's not my story to tell if my sisters chose to share it at some point then that's up to them one of my sisters estranged herself from my father nine years ago when she had her own kid Another sister is on friendly terms with him after a lot of processing. She has no kids of her own.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
My partner and I will have to decide together whether my father will have contact with our child. I'd like him to have a relationship with our child, but I would probably draw the line at leaving him alone with them. But whatever my partner feels most comfortable with would take precedence. For my part, I'm on friendly terms with my dad. He's done a lot of serious personal work on himself.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
We were both part of a community whose core was a meditation practice that has been life-changing. The deep inner work that I've experienced through it has been very profound. But I find it hard to explain how exactly I've seen my father change as a result. I also tend to be super forgiving toward people to avoid harboring resentment.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And in many ways, I think I'm naive in giving people the benefit of the doubt. My biggest fear is that if I tell my girlfriend about all this, she will not want to be with me. That would be devastating. I don't know if I'm overreacting, or I can trust that our connection can weather anything.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
I think it can, but I'm so scared that I'll be tainted in her eyes, even though I personally am not unsafe. But then I've never loved anyone like this, and I feel like this is my opportunity to live the loving relationship that I've longed for, and I hate to think that this thing I had no control over could doom my love life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Is there any way I can convey this horrible past in a way that wouldn't cause her to see me as someone who's unsafe? Will this news make her see me in a different light, lumping me in with my dad, even though I have literally nothing to do with this? If we decide to terminate the pregnancy, would I still be obligated to tell her?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Signed, keeping a lid on what my father did amid this bid to have our own kid.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Well, then I guess you're the Christmas tree you leave up till February because it's just so pretty to look at. Oh, yeah. Handsome tree number one over here.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And the fact that you're even wondering whether you would be able to skirt around this if you decided not to move forward with the pregnancy, I have to imagine that speaks to the part of you that really still desperately wants to avoid having to talk about this with anybody, but especially with your partner. For sure, because of the shame of being associated with it, etc.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Dr. Handsome tree number one.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Because of that shame, and probably because of another layer of shame, which is having hidden the original shame for so long. And look, maybe there's some other thoughts in the mix. What does this abuse say about my family, about me? Like he said, are you going to hold this against me? Are you going to resent me or judge me for having forgiven my father, perhaps?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Which is something I definitely want to come back to here in a minute. And if you knew the truth about my dad, how would you respond? I don't know how you're going to respond. Are you going to let our child have a relationship with him? What's your reaction going to be?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
But really what I think this comes down to, the overriding feeling that I'm getting from his letter is a fear of losing control.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Totally. She might meet him with compassion and acceptance, which is what I hope she does, especially because this was not his fault. He had nothing to do with the abuse. And it's obviously been so painful for him to live with what happened. But she could also meet him with any number of reactions, anger, fear, disappointment. She might just be weirded out. He can't predict that perfectly.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
And I'm sure that's terrifying.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yes. And actually, he touched on this theme in a different way when he said, I hate to think that this thing I had no control over could doom my love life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Again, to your point, I think that speaks to just how powerful shame can be.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Yeah, there's no greater form of control than controlling how other people see us.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1110: Can True Love Last In Shadow of Dad's Dark Past? | Feedback Friday
Which might also be part of the urgency that he now feels, or at least I hope it is. You know, if having a child is suddenly making him realize that he doesn't want to hide this big thing from his partner, then I actually think that's a good thing. And I hope he follows that impulse. And I hope he taps into the courage to trust her with this information because it is very important.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
So wild. What a double life that is, huh?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She's one of a kind, that's for sure.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Right, but then she's also saying, I really crave true intimacy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She's treating her personality as very fixed. And then trying to square that with being in a meaningful relationship, which kind of demands the opposite of most of these qualities, I think.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Right. Then I would say, yes, it's possible to find a partner who fits you, but it'll probably be harder than it is for most people, I would imagine. And the relationship might not be as intimate as you say you want.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
So, okay, let's talk about some of those things. Because like you said, the tension that she feels between wanting to experience true love and feeling like she's going to lose her identity, that is a very universal fear, as we said. I have that too, honestly.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I think it's especially pronounced for people who really value their independence, who like being alone, who want to live life on their own terms, etc. But... I think there's more to that story, too. I'm wondering, has she dated people who have expected her to fundamentally change? Has she been able to say to a partner, hey, you know, this is what I need in order to be happy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I need to be my own person. I need this amount of time to myself or whatever it is like what's going on inside of her that makes her feel like she needs to sacrifice such crucial parts of herself in order to be available to someone. Because that is a very subtle process and it's complicated.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I have to imagine that it involves her as much as it involves another person who seems to demand so much time and energy or holds very different values from her.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Good theory. But she's also said that she's been like this since she was a kid or at least since high school.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes, and that is the fundamental tension. But the deeper issue is, I think she's scared.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But also tough cookies can be very sensitive. You know, I do get the sense that underneath these rigid concepts, these militant beliefs, this whole, I need a good reason to love someone. And if it's not working for me, I leave first. Underneath all of that is a vulnerable person, just like we all are.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She might want to consider whether all of these qualities and beliefs and patterns that she's told us about are in a way defenses against that vulnerability.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And probably, if I had to guess, maybe an adaptation to some potentially painful formative experiences early on and along the way.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes. Exactly. I want to be clear about one thing, though. I'm not trying to pathologize her love of freedom, her desire for independence. I'm not even saying that wanting to have good reasons to be in a relationship with someone is entirely wrong or bad. I think that's actually kind of wise to a certain degree.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah. And there's a problem.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, we got to talk about that.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
My pleasure, Brosephina. You enjoy your stay?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I think you meant sociopathic. Sociopathic, yes. Sociopathic. That's right. No, quite. I mean, she said it's like a game, reading people, strategizing, getting as much money as she can from them. And she calls her clients her toys, which really is quite a thing.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
It's making it so much easier to dig into this with her.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Definitely. What I find fascinating about this is she gets to be kind of a dom in this place, right? Sexually, financially. And that role, that dynamic, as she puts it, satisfies my need for intimacy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
What she's really saying is it satisfies my need for intimacy on my terms. Yes. And intimacy entirely on one's own terms. You could debate this, but that isn't really true intimacy, right? Right. Especially if there's money involved. What it is, is an orchestrated, calibrated, formalized form of connection, which is different.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
You like that? Yep. I read your Google review from last time, so feedback taken.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes. And in a way that feels safe. Yes.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, such a good point. But she experiences it as genuinely fun and extremely empowering. So what do we do with that?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Good point. And if she answered those questions, I think she would probably take a huge step toward answering all of these big questions that she ended her letter with.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, and until she gets a good handle on those and finds some ways of healing them, even a little bit, not just embracing them or nursing them or talking very clearly about them or apparently sublimating them through entrepreneurship or sex work or solitude, but really unbacking them, which can only really happen in close relationships, right, either with friends or partners or a therapist, I think she's probably going to be stuck with this conflict.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
The conflict is not fixed, but it is very hard to resolve as long as the underlying wounds are not addressed.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes, and I'm so curious to know what happened around high school because that seems to be an inflection point for her. She said something kind of developed right around then, so I just would love to know, 14, 15, 16, what was going on. Yes, I would love for her to do that work. I just want to touch on one other interesting thing in her story, which is money.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She said the sex work gave her some extra income. That's part of the draw. Let's also remember that what led to her divorce, although it was apparently an unhappy marriage the whole time. So there's that. But what led to them splitting up was that her wife lost their life savings into scam. She used the money without telling her, which sounds like it was a very big betrayal.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But also the reason she was able to leave the marriage was that she had been secretly saving money for 10 years, waiting for the opportunity to escape and start over her words.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
The whole investment scam debacle gave her the opportunity to leave or maybe the pretext to leave and she took it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
In our society, money is freedom, right? It's obviously highly useful. So there's a practical aspect to the money that makes perfect sense to me. But I suspect that the money is also precious to her psychologically. right? To your point, it represents freedom and freedom is what she values most in the world.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And then earning money and protecting money and using money the way she wants to, that is huge for her. But the way she's managed her money, it's also a secret, right? She secretly squirreled it away during her marriage. She secretly earns it at the brothel, knowing that it's apparently a huge liability to her business.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
So my theory is that there's a thrill associated with this money, not just because of the taboo nature of the sex work, but because that money is hers and hers alone. And it's earned through this very precious part of her personality. And also because only she knows about that money. And it's fascinating. But, you know, having secrets that no one else knows about
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
is a very powerful way to shore up your personality and preserve your sense of self and create a whole inner world that no one else can touch. Which probably feels crucial, maybe even sacred, when it feels like that is constantly at risk of being taken away.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, you can go stretch your quads or do some yoga by the first class lavatory. I am that guy, actually, on long haul flights. I am the guy who's like in the back of the plane by the lavatory. I won't do down dogs. It's gross to put your hand on those boards.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh, our homoerotic work session. Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
What's next? Hey guys, I wrote to you last summer about getting emotionally involved with my co-worker Bob while in a long-term relationship with my first serious boyfriend. That was the last letter on episode 1037, by the way. So, quick recap on this story. Our friend here and this guy Bob connected at work.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend, he also had kids, I believe from a previous relationship. They developed this deep emotional connection that blurred some lines. Apparently nothing physical ever happened between them, but they did meet up a few times, once with his kids, actually. And then one night they ended up alone, and she was like, yo, what is this thing between us?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And Bob said that there was no point in continuing things because neither of them would ever leave their partners, and that was pretty much the last time they spoke.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And whether she should reach out to Bob for closure sometime after because they work in an industry where they might bump into each other and she wanted to end on good terms.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Our take was the most important thing about the whole Bob chapter was understanding what he revealed about what she really wants and whether her relationship was the right one for her. So she writes... After the episode, my life took some interesting turns, and boy oh boy, you're in for a treat. Ooh, let's doze it. As you advised me, I did tell my boyfriend about Bob.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes, it was uncomfortable and painful, and in the end, we decided that it was probably best to go our separate ways. But after three months, we met again and realized that we both hurt the relationship, that we both had so much to work on, and we don't want to go through life with anybody else. We got back together, and it's been better than ever, with a focus on communication and trust.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But my relationship is not what I'm here to talk about today. Okay, that was just the amuse-bouche, I guess, then? Yeah, the amuse-douze. Yes. That's the case, maybe. She goes on. That's right. At the beginning of this year, I managed to get my dream job. I was extremely happy and proud of myself and ready to start this new chapter.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I walk in on my first day, and when I get to the room I'll be working in and I'm shown the schedule, I freeze. Whose name do I see on the same shift as mine? Drumroll, please. Oh, man. Bob? Bob's girlfriend.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh man. She was set to start a few weeks later and I spent every one of those days in an anxiety spiral. What if Bob told her about me and I get a bitch slap when she walks in? What if he didn't tell her about me and then she finds out we work together and I have to navigate what I can say and what I can't? Safe to say, my first weeks at my dream job were a nightmare.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Bob's girlfriend, let's call her Mimi, finally joined, and lo and behold, our manager put us on a project together. I tried to be friendly, but not too friendly, and hold back any information regarding where I used to work. When she finally asked and found out I used to work with Bob, she seemed quite surprised, because Bob, quote, never mentioned me, unquote.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Relieved, I saw a scenario where we coexist but don't have to speak to each other too much. But the next day, Mimi sat right next to me. And we kept being put on projects together because we were working pretty well together. It's been three months, and it hurts me to say this, but we're really good friends now.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I did not want to be her friend. I just wanted to be civil. But we kept talking and sharing and now we're inseparable.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I realized early on that she enjoys my company and I thought it would be rude of me to shut her off and push her away because she hasn't done anything to me. My guilty conscience went, I wronged Mimi by allowing her boyfriend to disrespect her so the least I can do is at least try to be a nice person to her.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
No shout out to my dad for teaching me that stuff. He's been taking me to shiatsu massages since I was a kid. And he's always like fixing my neck and my shoulder, my back. It's magic. Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
She carries some guilt, but it's skewing her understanding of how it all went down. Exactly. Yeah. I told my boyfriend about Bob and Mimi and he's the only person whose opinion about me matters. But I can't help but feel like an absolute piece of trash when Mimi shows me pictures of her kids and I have to pretend I don't know which one is which.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I'm not going to tell her anything about Bob, it's not my place, it's up to him to decide whether he's going to be truthful towards his girlfriend. But I'm tired of always feeling like a horrible person while I'm just trying to live my life the best I can.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
How can I navigate this without hating myself every day? How can I have a stable work life when every day Mimi comes in, I'm scared she found out? How can I go through life thinking that I'm a decent person when I'm basically lying to the person I spend the most hours in the day with? Signed, feeling like a traitor, almost like I baited her for butting up to my neighbor when I was the invader.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Jordan, I was thinking when I was working on this letter, we need a word for when a Feedback Friday situation won't end. Like when you think the doozy is over, but then it just keeps coming back. And I came up with one.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
A doozerang.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
On the flip side, though, the longer she works there without knowing, the worse it's going to be if she does find out.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Old Gaby Cyrus over here? My bad. That's right. I'm going to be quiet. Go ahead.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yes. And how you talk to her, if that ever does come to pass and the way you handle this whole thing, that's going to play a big role in the outcome, too.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh, man, I don't know. Hide in the bathroom? Run the other way?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I mean, that is serious. Let's hope that never happens. Oh, man, this is really tricky because they're genuinely friends now. I know. It sucks. If they were just colleagues and they were kind of neutral about each other and they didn't have to interact very much, I would completely agree with you. But they're tight now. They're inseparable, she said.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I think this ultimately comes down to the quality of their friendship and the quality also of Mimi's relationship with Bob. Although, to be honest, that's not really our friend here's business. If she were saying, look, turns out Mimi is amazing, and she's the BFF I've always wanted, and we're like sisters now, and I see us being friends forever... that's a really hard situation.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Then I might have to disagree with you, Jordan, and say, I don't know if you can maintain that friendship and not tell her about what happened. Same thing with Mimi and Bob. If they're having problems, if they don't seem like the right fit long-term, I don't know, maybe it's more okay for our friend here to tell her what happened.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Although I would really want to make sure I had a good handle on that before spilling the tea and it's still not really her business.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But he might have had this emotional affair because they're not the right fit.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Which would also make our friend here not the main villain.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I'm just glad I have my clothes on this time Oh, dude when I started Jordan was like you want me to take off my shirt, and I was like No, that's okay I think we can get this done with the shirt on, you know, just so we can look each other in the eye after.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
We could, yeah. Next. Look, maybe I'm introducing an element here that is just not helpful. I guess it depends on how much this other stuff matters to you, but I do think that the quality of your friendship with Mimi is a big factor here.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Where I'm landing on all of this, what I'm trying to say is, if you guys are crazy about each other and there's a very deep, special bond between you, and your friendship is more meaningful than the one that she has with Bob, potentially, then you might have to come clean. Although I don't know how good the prospects are for that friendship at that point.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But that might be the only way to honor a really great friendship. I'm not sure you're there yet. It just sounds like you guys are unusually close for colleagues. And if you absolutely refuse to tell her, then you can't be that close with her, like Jordan said, and you have to be very thoughtful about how much contact you have and how close you guys really get.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Beyond that, if Mimi ends up finding out, then I just think you have to deal with it then. And if that ever happens, maybe you say, look, I knew this day might come. I've been tied up in knots about it. I know you're probably really angry, really hurt. I totally understand. I thought about this a lot. I have my reasons for not telling you myself.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And if you're open to hearing them, I would like to share them with you. But when you're ready to talk, we can do that. And then you guys talk it out or you don't and you accept the outcome, whatever it is, and it's going to suck, but it'll be okay.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Hi, Jordan and Gabe. I'm a federal employee, and less than a year ago, I started a job as a power plant operator. Since this administration came in, they've been slashing jobs left and right. It's now a possibility that I'm on the chopping block as well, even as a critical component of our power grid.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Which sucks, because federal power plants are the most sought-after jobs in this industry, and my military service time counts toward retirement there. My agency has offered me a resignation package that would continue to pay my salary until September of this year. They would also allow me to work a new job at the same time.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I called Jen complaining about your conduct.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Meanwhile, a power plant in New York City has expressed interest in me and is just waiting to see if I take this fork in the road. If I take this resignation package, I'll have to sell my home and move my wife and myself across the country. If I don't take it, there's a chance that I would be let go anyway. Are there any legal options or implications I should be considering here?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
What would you do? Hedge your bets, move and collect double paychecks for six months, or stick around and take your chances as a federal employee? Signed, a doge dodging dude deciding what to do when I haven't got a clue which move is the most shrewd.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Also, and this probably doesn't apply to you, but for any other listeners who are federal employees and might be close to retirement, accepting a resignation package might be worth it if you're on the way out anyway. But look, all the doge stuff aside, the legal stuff aside, you're facing the question that so many people at a crossroads face, which is, do I take road A or do I take road B?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
when I just don't have all the information? And there is no clear answer there. I think the best advice we can give you is this. First of all, you got to make peace with uncertainty and you have to start getting comfortable with making decisions on incomplete information.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I lent you my shampoo and I fixed your shoulder. You're going to complain that there weren't chocolate-covered strawberries in your room? God, you're such a diva now.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
You know, you can't know what Elon Musk is thinking or what your agency is planning or what New York will actually be like until you move there or any of those things. So take stock of the information you do have and make educated assumptions and talk to as many people as possible so you can get as many opinions as possible, but know that you'll never reach 100% certainty before making a decision.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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And that is okay. You don't need to in order to make the right choice, I promise you, because there's no perfect outcome in life anyway, right? And the second thing you got to do is you have to get clear with yourself about what your goals are, what your needs are, what is most important to you. I know we talk about this all the time. but it's so easy to forget.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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But, you know, I'm like stretching against the wall while the flight attendants are checking their phones on their break. It's the only way to get through a flight.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Exactly.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And I would add that the quality of your outcome either way is really going to depend on how you navigate this, how you show up in a new job, how you collaborate with these forces in your industry, how you build relationships, what attitude you bring to this move, how you take care of your family, how you rely on them during this transition, whether you would enjoy living in New York, for example, that is one big variable that is under your control.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And it'll play a huge role in your success either way. So don't forget that either.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Okay. So Jordan, I'm not sure if I told you this, but I went to this dance workshop last weekend.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I literally walked in there like, I can't wait to tell Jordan about this so he can just fillet me on the show. It was kind of peak ridiculous, Gabe.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I have to tell you about this experience because I can't stop thinking about it. So I don't know. I think, you know, that several months ago I started going to these like I don't know what to call them. It's not a dance class where you're like in front of a mirror with choreography. It's more just kind of like a dance party. OK, led by a fairly well-known dance instructor who's. Her name is Kate.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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She's from London. She's wonderful, very unusual, very special person. She does this cool class that's like it's a mix of open ended dancing, moving meditation. And then she has a microphone where she's kind of like doing an improvised sermon while you're dancing. Almost. One of my biggest fears until recently was dancing in front of other people, especially in the daytime.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Sober, completely sober, which, you know, like I don't really drink, so there's not much of an opportunity to cut loose or whatever. Sure. One of these dance classes got me over that like in 30 minutes. Really? Yeah. It kind of cured me of it, which has been really weirdly therapeutic and very fun. So my friend Itai is the one who started inviting me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And recently he told me that she was doing the same thing, but it was going to be a two day workshop from like 11 to five. So it was going to be some dancing, but it was also going to be exercises and meditations, like a whole thing. Yeah. And the theme of this weekend was zero. It was like the organizing principle was like emptiness and fullness. I didn't fully understand it, but sure.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Anyway, we get there. I've been to the studio a bunch of times. I know a lot of the people, but it was different this time. And when we arrived...
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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in the center of the room was a huge circle like a massive hula hoop kind of okay and when we started dancing she started playing music and everyone's just doing their thing everyone is invited to dance around the void or jump into the void or just like contemplate the void but um i was having a really rough day that day i injured my knee really badly a few days before and as you know i have like a to-do list a mile long for the big move and i'm in a room full of people who are like
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
These people, Jordan, are the opposite of you and me in terms of just like they're kind of like grown up theater kids.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
So I mean, they're more they're more opposite from you than they are for me at this point. But I was definitely the out the outsider in this group. Okay. I mean, I don't know a lot of them, but my sense is that they're like very open, vulnerable, touchy feely people, which was actually kind of inspiring to be around.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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But they're kind of like they seem like theater kids who grew up or summer camp kids. I was never a summer camp kid, but they are so pumped to be there, dude. And they're just like way more liberated than me. They're ready to go from the moment they get there. And I'm in this I'm in the corner like I'm like a cat, you know, like I need to warm up a little bit.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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But anyway, that day I was particularly not feeling it and I wasn't exactly present. So anyway, day one after lunch, we come back and they have a circle up around the circle that I just told you about. And one by one, the teacher invites us to walk into the circle and have some kind of experience or experience. express something or leave something behind.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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You have like 30 seconds to a minute to do like your little thing. Oh man. You're allowed to talk, but you don't have to. You can also just make it movement based. I can't really even remember the prompt. I was kind of confused.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And this is why I wanted to talk to you about it because you know this about me as well. I hate forced vulnerability.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, no, thank you. Clearly I like opening up when it's on my terms, but, or if I'm in a safe group, I know that people and everyone's kind of on the same frequency, but when someone else is making me do it and it's part of a formal exercise and there's some kind of expectation that you go there and you have some big experience. No, I just shut down. Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I felt it more profoundly that day than I ever have ever like every wall in my heart goes up, you know, and I just kind of freeze.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But it is weird when you don't know the people. And there are a lot of people because there are like 40 or 50, maybe 40 people.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
That's not just a small circle of people. Yes, exactly. So when I tell you that I was dreading my turn on this exercise, like I was in agony. And I was like, dude, what am I going to do? Like, can I fake a seizure and leave right now? I mean, to be fair. That's a great idea. To be fair, the teacher, I just want to give her credit.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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She was like, if you don't want to do it, just tap the person next to you. You can go, which was nice. But I didn't want to be the guy who's like, I'm not doing it because nobody else declined. Yeah. But I was like, what do I do? What are my options here? Fling yourself from the top of the building. But at that moment, that seemed preferable to what I had to do.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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So sitting in that circle, knowing my turn was coming, you know, when you're sitting in the middle and you're watching each person go and getting sweatier and sweatier. Yes. Yes. Top five worst moments of my life. For sure. Truly. But I was really making an effort to stay open. You know, like I had all these judgments and opinions about what was happening and what
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
the people and why were they having these experiences and I wasn't feeling it. But I was like, look, dude, you're already here. You can decide later what to make of all this. Just do your best, participate, try not to judge it. Because, you know, when you judge something before you even do it, just because you're uncomfortable, then you're guaranteed to get nothing out of it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
So I didn't want to do that. You know, I appreciate that.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
OK, so I'm sitting there waiting for my turn. I'm having a low grade panic attack for sure, man. Yeah, people are going in there and they are doing these interesting dances and having these super seemingly super profound experiences. I'm not going to say much about them because I want to be respectful to people, whatever. But just like it's out there.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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stuff it's almost like i would say it's akin to what is that called chair therapy i don't know what is that when people like yell at an absent parent in an empty chair as part of those like words it was kind of like that oh gosh but anyway finally it's my turn and i'm like what am i gonna do i hate this i hate this so much i don't want i could barely dance a few weeks ago now i have to do this in front of all these people right so i walk into the circle i am half dissociated at this point
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Like I'm watching myself from the ceiling. Out of body experience. Yes. Humiliated. And I can feel everyone's eyes on me and I'm kind of mortified and I'm just like, well, I'm not going to pretend that I'm having some deep experience I'm not having. So I just walked into the circle and I just stood there. It was probably the most boring thing that anyone had seen that day.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And I just like closed my eyes and I just... I thought about my trip and how grateful I am to be doing this and, you know, like stepping into a new chapter and, you know, just like, how long do I have to stand here? So it looks like I gave this a shot, but not so long that I embarrassed myself unnecessarily, you know?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, it was like writing down the equations in physics when you didn't know how to do the problems. And you're like, oh, he's going to give me some points for this. And then I just capped it off with a little yoga namaste hands, bowed my head. Always a safe bet. Always a fan favorite. That's right. You definitely read the room on that one.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And then I went back to my seat and stared at the floor, just avoiding eye contact. My face was beet red, I'm sure, while the rest of the people went. And I left that first day in a really weird mood. Like I was a little angry and I was kind of just vaguely, not vaguely, pretty uncomfortable and disappointed. I was like, what am I missing here?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
By the way, I had half a mind to not come back for day two.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But Itai did tell me, When I left day one last year, I also didn't want to come back and I'm so glad I came back for day two. So I was like, interesting. That's good data. Cause he and I are wired pretty similarly. So I wake up the next morning, my knee is feeling better. I'm feeling a little better. And we get there, we start dancing, which is my favorite part.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
It's way more fun than the exercises, but then they break for lunch again and we come back and the room is different this time. Oh no. Now the circle void thing is set up vertically. So it's like a ring you have to walk through and they have a circle up again. And one by one, everyone has to walk through it and say, I am blank. Like something fill in the blank, whatever it is.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Out of the pan and into the fire. I would have preferred to be taken out of a boiling pan and thrown into a raging fire than have to- Yeah, you still have the window option that I mentioned earlier. Fling right through it. I would literally rather do any of those things than walk through a make-believe portal and declare my truth or whatever.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
However hippie and crazy you think I am, this is not my jam.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
The dance party stuff I'm into, but the artificiality of some of the exercises is hard. It's impossible for me. It's funny because you and I both have done much more intense stuff than this in much weirder places. But this was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. So again, we go around in a circle and again I'm panicking and people are walking through the portal void
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Like, it's such a caricature of what you're imagining. Like, again, I don't want to say specifics, but people are saying things like, you know, I am healed. I am, you know, worthy of love. I am ending this generational trauma or whatever. I mean, like, tears, laughter. Okay. It is raw. It's very raw in the room at this point.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah. That's hilarious. That's actually what the teacher said to her. Again, to her credit, she was aware of how absurd this was on some level, which is one of the things I like about her. But she did say, I know this is going to sound like we're going to Cafe Gratitude. Yes. But this is the exercise.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Yeah. I am whole is another one.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
They also do the question of the day there. Do you know about that?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, what are you manifesting? What are you creating?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But also, sometimes the waiters don't ask you the question of the day unless you ask them for it, which I actually do appreciate. Some of them are over it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Funny thing about Cafe Gratitude, a barista there once offered to read my tarot cards. Of course. Unprompted.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Basically. Oh, oh, I almost forgot this. I must have blocked this part out. When you walk through the portal and then you say your thing on the other side, one of the facilitators hands you a red rose, like well done and welcome to your new reality. And then you take your place in the circle again with your rose.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I know. I was like, what is this, The Bachelor? Just let me say my stupid little catchphrase and dissociate in the corner in peace just to reflect on all of my poor choices leading up to this moment. I don't need a Valentine's Day gift for phoning it in. Yeah. It was sweet, but it just made the whole thing worse for me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
It's weird, though. We should be able to enjoy pretty things as men, but you just feel ridiculous holding flowers as a man. Sure. Unless you're an actor in a play or something. And even then I would feel weird.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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That's true. That's true. I'm not an actor, so that might explain it. So again, though, this is the reason I wanted to tell you about this, is that most of the participants seem to be having these very real, intense experiences. Like I said, they're laughing, they're crying, people are shouting, and I'm just standing there. I'm like, am I being punked or something? Like, I'm so confused.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Why are you guys able to do this so easily? Did this workshop start a week ago and I missed the first six days?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Because all of you are like at the emotional finish line and I'm still trying to figure out what the exercise is. It was strange.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, I'm just not that way. But the other people did seem more that way. They were more keen. So look, if this workshop is helpful for them, I think it's great. It's wonderful. I just couldn't get, I couldn't even start. And that might be a me thing. But what gets a little weird though, is you see other people really go for it. Like they swing for the fences with their parts. Right.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And the facilitators and the other participants light up, like people are really like excited and proud of them. And they're like super supportive and validating. But meanwhile, all I can think of is like, I am pre sorry for how bad mine is going to be. Like I can already tell you're going to be disappointed with mine.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Yes, the social pressure is part of what I was struggling with. And I was kind of aware of that. But again, you have to understand, I was working so hard to stay open while I'm having this.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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That's probably wise. OK, so finally, it's my turn. I walk across the room to the portal thing again, panicking until the last possible second about what I'm going to say. I'm racking my brain like, what is it going to be? What is it going to be? And I walk through the void thing and I say, I am available.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I know, it's so lame. I could go a lot of directions with that. It is so lame. But I literally couldn't think of anything. And I was just like, I'm available for whatever the world wants to, I don't know. I wonder what that bowl is at Cafe Gratitude. I am available.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
i'll take the available can you hold the cheese yeah yeah that's probably just like a bowl of brown rice and some steamed veggies with lots of empty space or something if my inner state in that moment was any indication the only thing i can think of right now are gross jokes that are way out of character and off-brand for this podcast but yeah the i am available is definitely the blandest thing on the menu what i was trying to say was look i don't know how i feel nothing has changed for me this weekend
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I'm just open to whatever life throws at me, including this weird workshop, you know, like I'm receptive. That's worse. It's even worse.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Anyway, I go through the facilitator gives me a nice smile. She and I are buds, so I didn't take it personally. But like I said, mine was not her favorite part of the day. And I take my rose, which I definitely did not earn, by the way, which only made holding it feel worse. And I sit back down and immediately I'm like, did it just sound like I was saying I'm single?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Like, did I just proclaim to the room like, hey, ladies, I'm available? Yeah, ladies. Anyway. You don't know how I said it. So you actually don't know. That's true. That's true. No, the receptive part was also a little bit more. Well, it was a very masculine. I am available.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I believe you. So cringe. I'm having second. I just have to tell you, I'm having a second wave of dance shame as I'm telling you about all this. But anyway, after all that. The teacher plays some chill music and everyone's invited to just kind of like dance with their roses and hang out. 90% of the room is literally swaying with their roses, looking at them lost in a reverie.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And I'm just like, yeah, I can't do this. Like I will do the exercises. I will dance like an idiot. I am not doing a waltz with a rose that was given to me for walking through a circle. Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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And saying something as dumb as I am available. I have some dignity. Do you? Well, after the fact, I decided I did, in fact. So I just sat on the ground and stretched for a while. And then one of the facilitators did a guided meditation, which was by far my favorite part of the whole weekend. It was really good. And then we circled up for some final words, which I have to say were very sweet.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh, of course we've talked about that. But are we going to talk about the fact that you pronounce it lavatory? Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
And then I went home. And I was weirdly happy that I went. It was definitely an experience. And I do think it forced me to get uncomfortable, which is always interesting, right? But I felt kind of sad and guilty afterward. It's hard to explain. I just sat, I felt sad for myself that I couldn't enjoy something like this.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Less so after telling you this story, because I'm seeing your face and it's like making me feel a little bit better, but sure. I also felt a little bit guilty. I don't know if you can relate, but when you do these things and you don't get something out of it, you kind of feel guilty of not being a good sport.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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You got to play full on, which is why I avoid putting myself in these situations entirely. Yeah, but it is tough feeling. You know, I kept asking myself for the rest of the week, like, was that workshop dumb or was it interesting, but it just wasn't for me? Or am I just way too cynical and defended to actually get something out of an experience like that?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I just felt like I failed or I don't know. I spent the whole weekend judging and cutting down these people who in so many ways are braver than I am. So who am I to judge them?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Yeah. And that's kind of where I landed with all this at the end of the day. It's perfectly fine to not want to open up and be vulnerable on someone else's terms. Like you're allowed to decide how open you want to be. And if you don't want to be, it doesn't make you a bad person. You're not necessarily being superior.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
100%.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Right. But not wanting to open up when someone makes you. Interestingly, that does kick up a lot of data about yourself. And some of that data I did find useful to look at.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, I guess so. I feel like it was one of those experiences where the thing they wanted me to get out of it, I definitely did not get out of it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But I got all these other things that they didn't intend or maybe did they? I don't know. Dance is crazy. Anyway, I just had to tell you about that because looking back, it was pretty hilarious. And it also brought up some interesting stuff around vulnerability, which we talk about on the show all the time.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Yeah, totally. Great. Fair is fair. I mean, I brought it up, so I have to live with the consequences now.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Isn't it funny how you can become desensitized to your own life?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
My dear friend and co-host loves to say lavatory and grandios. Grandios. Lavalier? Like he's a member of the upper crust in like Imperial Britain. What are you talking about?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Dear Jordan and Gabe, I'm a trans lesbian in my late 30s living in rural Asia, and recently my wife of 12 years lost our life savings in an investment scam. She used the money without consulting me, lost it all, and now is court mandated to repay half of it to me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Thankfully, I'd been strategically and secretly saving little by little for 10 years in this unhappy marriage, waiting for the opportunity to escape and start over. This incident gave me the chance, and I took it. I got out, grew my business, reclaimed my freedom, and hoped I'd finally make a meaningful connection with someone more like me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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But I wonder if I'm built for meaningful human connection. I'm an INTJ with strong Machiavellian traits.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
But you swing from like this freaking guy to lavatory. Lavatory. Lavatory. Lavatory. Lavatory.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Oh, now you're going to go Machiavellian on this one? Yeah. Wow. This is Italian. This one is Mach. Machiavelli. Machiavellian. Machiavelli. I'm an INTJ with strong Machiavellian traits. Yeah. Therapy, lots of introspection, and recent events have made this abundantly clear to me. So, okay, quick pause.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
For anyone who's not familiar with these Myers-Briggs, that's the test I think she's referring to, right? Myers-Briggs, yeah. These personality types, which I know Jordan has done a Skeptical Sunday about this test, it's far from perfect, but the INTJ personality type is short for Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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Apparently these are people known for their strategic thinking, problem solving, independence, long-term vision, but they can also apparently seem aloof or dismissive, and they can be perfectionists, among other things.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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That's right. Yep. Okay. So she goes on. I crave intimacy, but I view relationships as transactional. If the emotional or financial cost outweighs the benefit, I walk away without a second thought. I've been doing this since high school with friends, family, and romantic partners. Since childhood, I've always valued my freedom and way of doing things. I loathe compromising my routines or my logic.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I also absolutely hate the rituals of dating, wasting time and money on things that I feel don't matter. Deep down, I suspect I'm not capable of loving someone just for who they are. I need a reason to like someone. As a result, I've maintained almost no deep meaningful relationships in my life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
While married, I began visiting legal brothels with my wife's consent as she, quote, "...wanted to prioritize her career over our relationship but didn't want to lose me," unquote. I enjoyed those encounters so much that I started working at one part-time myself. It suits my personality.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
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I treat encounters like a game, reading people, strategizing, and getting as much money as I can from my quote-unquote toys. It satisfies my need for intimacy and dominance and gives me nice extra income with little effort. Unfortunately, the clients are all men, which limits my enjoyment, but still, I find it genuinely fun and extremely empowering.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
The issue is, I still want an intimate connection with someone I am attracted to. but my circumstances make that nearly impossible. The only things I have going for me are a profitable business, good health, and above average natural good looks. My business is located here, so I can't move unless I start over from scratch, which is too risky.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I should quit my undercover, but legal, sex work as well, because if it were discovered, it could devastate my business. I've dated a couple people since my divorce, but end things as soon as I feel the benefits do not match the costs.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I've also had a few casual hookups that worked well, but they're rare, and I believe gonna get even rarer as my playmates and I get older, as most people my age are looking for something serious. I honestly don't think I have the personality to invest in building such a relationship. The risk of being used for someone else's gain and losing my freedom is something I desperately try to avoid.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
I can't shake the idea that it's a dog-eat-dog world, and letting my guard down feels like a risky emotional investment with potentially little to no return. At my age, and with my personality, a future with a steady, intimate partner looks bleaker and bleaker. How does someone like me, detached, freedom-loving, and always running a cost-benefit analysis, find real intimacy?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Is it worth sacrificing autonomy for connection when the risk of being used or losing my identity feels so high? Should I keep dating casually while I still can, knowing it may lead to long-term isolation? Or should I accept that meaningful romantic relationships might not be for me and focus on maximizing independence, even if that means returning to paid intimacy and risking loneliness later?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1162: Calculating Courtesan Craves Close Connection | Feedback Friday
Is it realistic to hope for a partner who fits me? Signed, feeling jittery about protecting my agility without ending up in captivity and losing my precious liberty when I need the flexibility to pursue all the possibilities.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
Oh, jeez.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
Huh.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
Yeah.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1097: Husband's Networking Involves Topless Twerking | Feedback Friday
I got to ask, or people are going to get mad. What's going on with the flat earth thing? Are you just messing with everybody with that?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I don't know if I can let this go. Having my feelings invalidated like this is bringing up a lot of my past trauma, the gaslighting, the steamrolling. I'm standing my ground because I will not apologize for my feelings or my thought process, but I feel so unsettled and annoyed that my partner read my journal and then used it in such a hurtful way. Am I being unreasonable?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
What do you gents think I can do in this situation? Signed, feeling like I've lost it after going through my process.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Agreed. And he's not even saying that he's not going this offer from your ex makes me feel disappointed and betrayed and threatened and angry. And I'm having a really hard time understanding why you would even consider it like I'm fuming. He's just getting angry, taking it out on his partner, mocking her ex and straight up refusing to repair things with her. So my question is, to what end?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Like, what is he hoping to accomplish by taking this tack?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Refusing to empathize with her, refusing to look at his own response, refusing even to apologize or consider apologizing.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Expecting her to have somehow read his mind and made a decision that would make him happy from the very start.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I know where you're going with this. It does sound a bit narcissistic, doesn't it?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And also look at how she's responding to him now. He's being quite unfair and manipulative and she's going, I find this invalidating. I find this wrong. I find this hurtful. I'm standing my ground. You know, I'm not going to apologize for my feelings or my process. For somebody with this background, that is huge.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Right. Is she maybe overlooking certain qualities in her partners that later become issues like this?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I mean, these are all fair questions. And these are really important things for her to consider, because even if her partner is not a textbook narcissist. Even if he has other qualities that are great, she's now seeing aspects of him that she probably didn't know were there. She's seeing the limits of his empathy, his introspection.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
She's seeing his rigidity, his lack of curiosity, his lack of nuance. She also seems to be discovering that her partner doesn't take her privacy and kind of her inner world in general very seriously.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
What? Let's remember that what set off this fight was not that she hid the fact that her ex made her this offer. She came right out and told her partner about that the very same day. What kicked off this fight was learning that she had taken some time to consider it, that she had gone through this private process of her own before coming to a decision.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
In her partner's mind, he assumed that meant that they were having a lot of contact, which apparently was not the case. So it sounds to me like there's something disturbing and maybe a little bit threatening to this guy about her having an inner world that he doesn't always have access to and her own agency that he cannot control.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
In addition to his anxiety, his honestly somewhat understandable anxiety that her ex might be clawing his way back into her life, into their life. I mean, reading someone's private journal, like you said, Jordan, not cool. And I can't read that any other way than I needed to know what you were really thinking. And now that I know that, I'm going to use that against you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And I'm also going to do that in the least charitable way.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And part of me even wonders, like, did she choose to journal about all of this privately because on some level she knew he wouldn't be able to tolerate an open conversation about whether to accept the offer? Interesting. Again, to your point a moment ago about the dynamic that they might be co-creating, is this one way that they might have done that?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
By her hiding her thought process from her partner in order to spare him some difficult feelings, him then intuiting that there was something he didn't know and then violating her privacy in order to find it,
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
and then using it to confirm his worst fears, not only that her ex might still have some hold over her, not only that she might be keeping a secret, but that he himself does not have total access to her true thoughts, which might mean that there are aspects of her that he cannot control.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yeah, I could see that. So yeah, I mean, even if she hasn't fallen into the exact same template she had with her ex, she might want to ask, what do these qualities signal? Like, did I clock any of them before this blew up? And Did I handle things this way because on some level I knew that they were there and this was my way of working around them?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
One of those gastropubs where the kombucha is like $14, obviously. Right, yeah. Well, it's house-made. It comes from a barrel we rolled in from the alleyway. That's right.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Okay, next up. Hi, Jordan and Gabe. I'm the mom of three kids, the youngest of which is a 16-year-old sophomore in high school. His older sister was pretty introverted and his older brother was in high school during COVID, so the social stuff was pretty limited. Our youngest is now living his best high school life. gets good grades, and is a talented artist and varsity athlete in two sports.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He has a very active social life and most weekends gets invited to get-togethers or parties. After a recent party, we discovered that he had had a few beers, which was a first for us in our 25 years of parenting. While I enjoyed high school and was very social, I was also dealing with an abusive, alcoholic father. and was raised by atheist parents who were totally chucked out.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
While I could literally have been doing anything in high school, I became very interested in religion and explored several through my high school years before eventually settling on Catholicism in college. Needless to say, I was never a partier and still only drink socially and we rarely have alcohol at home or in front of our kids.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
My 47-year-old brother, on the other hand, has been an addict, alcohol and any drug he can get his hands on since he was 14 and was found speeding down a six-lane road in our parents' stolen car with his best friend on the roof.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And it gets worse.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
My brother is now an end-stage kidney and liver failure. and has been a cautionary tale to all of our kids. We have raised our children as practicing Catholics and our older two always heeded our warnings about underage drinking and never participated until they were in college.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
While we have always given them good practical reasons why they should not drink in their teen years, the trump card we always had was the honor thy parents commandment which was sort of pervasive in our expectations. In the past four years, several major events have occurred that have led me to deconstruct my faith.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Looking back, I actually wish I had done some experimenting slash boundary pushing in my teens instead of being so focused on being a good girl. I'm now really struggling on how to approach many aspects of parenting since I no longer have the church for guidance and did not have any healthy modeling growing up.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I don't want to overreact to what I know is very normal, but I'm also fearful of underreacting and creating a clone of my brother. What are your opinions about teens experimenting with alcohol? How do I talk to my son about making healthy and safe choices without shaming him for a normal part of growing up or grounding him for the rest of high school?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
What are some guidelines on how to speak with him about the topic and set expectations, while also keeping the lines of communication open, allowing him to make mistakes, and encouraging honesty even when we might be disappointed with his choices? What are appropriate expectations and consequences for when we become aware that he has chosen to drink? And how do we educate our son
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
on the line between some normal, moderate experimentation and binge drinking or trying harder drugs, signed trying to solve the riddle and finding a healthy middle between being critical and offering acquittal when my youngest wants to tipple.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He just snapped to you because he thought you were an employee who was faffing off?
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But also, I think the most important expectation here is that your son stays safe, right? That's what mine would be if I were a parent. So to me, that means definitely not binge drinking, not poisoning his body. It means never drinking so much that it gets in the way of his goals, his mood. his plans.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And by the way, I just want to say that a unique variable in her story is that her son is apparently quite successful, right? As a high schooler, he's in two varsity sports, he's doing well in school. I mean, these are all great signs.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It's really hard to have a serious drinking problem when you're getting straight A's and you're involved in sports and you're on top of your goals and you have a vision for your future. So, you know, the more that you can encourage and support those plans, the more you keep him engaged with his own life,
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
the less likely it is that he's going to get really lost in alcohol and he might not even literally have time to drink if those are the things that are most important to him. I think being safe also means obviously never driving drunk or driving with someone else who's drunk or being drunk in public in a way that could get him in trouble and ruin his future in some way.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And that's another way that you can signal to your son that you want him to be responsible without, as you put it, shaming him. And as for educating him on the difference between, you know, normal experimentation and binge drinking or trying even harder drugs, I mean, you have a very powerful case study in your brother.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
His story is so tragic and it might be quite painful to talk about, but I can't think of anything more effective. than telling a 16-year-old kid, look at Uncle Rich, you know, look what he did to himself. He's gonna die because he had a wildly unhealthy relationship with drugs and alcohol. This is what can happen when this gets out of control, and it does not take much.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And hey, I know this is kind of intense, but maybe you even visit your brother with your son. Show him up close what the difference between responsible drinking and substance abuse actually looks like. I have to think that that would make quite an impact on him without you having to say too much. I think I've mentioned this on the show before. My aunt died from alcoholism years ago.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Watching her waste away in the hospital when we were kids was a hugely formative event for my sister and me. And I think it's a big reason that neither of us drinks very much now, kind of not at all. It was all the lecture we needed at a moment in our lives where we were very receptive to that message. So could be powerful.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Also, feeling like you can only have fun if you're drinking. That's something else I would encourage your son to keep an eye on because that's where a dependence really starts. And maybe you tell him, look, if you ever find that you can't relax or have fun or talk to people without a couple drinks, I want you to stop and go, okay, why do I need to drink in order to have fun?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
What is the drinking helping me deal with, you know? And if you want, I would love for you to come to me and we can talk about that together.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
All right, what's next? Hey guys, a couple of years ago, my wife of almost 20 years separated and later divorced me, which was one of the hardest experiences I have ever gone through. There are a few issues that I'm still dealing with from my marriage, but those are very quickly being solved and should be in the rearview mirror by the end of the year. What's troubling me now is my new girlfriend.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
The whole staff was Dutch, yeah. I'm so confused by the dialect of this character. I mean, the only Dutch accent I have is gold member from Austin Powers. He started off like Edwardian England. Hey, it's going to just shift. By the end of this story, he's going to be from like the Philippines, but go on.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
She's an amazing person. She has a good job and likes a lot of the same things I like. In short, we click. But I'm struggling with her family. Her mom was injured a number of decades ago and is very limited. Her dad has compensated for this by becoming a hoarder, is possibly narcissistic, and does not show any amount of love towards his daughter, which she desperately craves.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
My girlfriend makes comments like, I need a partner to help deal with my family stuff, or there's so much in my life I don't know how to handle it all, or I know my family is a lot. Better run while you're not married to me. Okay. It's also not uncommon for her and her dad to get into screaming matches over what I would consider small things. Just yesterday, they got into it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Hard to explain about what. And now they're not speaking. In a week or so, when her dad needs something, she'll be there for him without any apology from him, which he would never give anyway. All of this makes me question if I want to continue the relationship. I know that walking away from this relationship might be the right thing for me, but I'm conflicted.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I've been with my girlfriend for three and a half years, and she's a good person. But all this drama in her life is really starting to wear on me. I understand that in a relationship, you assist with your partner's challenges at times, but This seems unending, and if I continue with her, it likely won't end for me. How do you walk away from a three and a half year relationship?
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Signed, chafing at this imprisonment and thinking a breakup is probably imminent because her parents' drama is infinite.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
That's the problem. She's stuck in this very painful dynamic with her father. She's overwhelmed. It sounds like she's not very well equipped to deal with it, and she doesn't know how to change things. If she did know how to change things, this could be absolutely survivable.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Well, she's both relying on him way too much and also kind of pushing him away, or at least giving him an escape hatch, right? It sounds to me like she might be in conflict about how much to rely on her partner. Look, she might be a little ashamed or maybe a lot ashamed about how much she needs his help and what she imagines that he thinks and feels about her as a result.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So it sounds to me, based on those details, that she's projecting some of that onto him by saying, you better run while you're not married to me, which is really sad. But that probably says a lot about how she feels about herself.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I understand it, too. The desire to flee is legitimate and it's meaningful. But what that feeling is trying to tell him, I don't know. I think there might be a few different things going on there. One obvious meaning is that this relationship is just not working for him. And he can't handle it anymore. And look, if that's the case, he's allowed to leave. Fair enough.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But I also wonder how much he's really tried to help his girlfriend find a new way of relating to her family. Has he encouraged her to go to therapy and talk about her father? Has he encouraged her to explore some boundaries that would make her relationship with her father less painful?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It doesn't sound like it, in which case leaving her feels a little premature to me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Again, I get the impulse, the thought of breaking up. That might be a fantasy that gives him a measure of relief and control in a situation that I'm guessing feels increasingly unsustainable. Also, let's remember that he began his letter by talking about his previous marriage, right? which sounded very difficult.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He said a lot of those problems are soon to be in the rearview mirror and I'll be done with them. So he might have been accumulating a lot of stress and anxiety and this might just be like putting him over the top.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So we don't know exactly what role his last relationship is playing in all of this, but it is part of his story and it might be helpful for him to separate out the residual stress and burden of his last relationship from how he's feeling about this one. But if I were him,
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I would try to help her work through some of this stuff and see if she has any interest in growing before breaking up with her, especially after three and a half years. I think you owe your partner at least the opportunity, and especially because apparently she's great in all of these other ways.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yes, and one way to do that would be to sit down with her and say, listen, I know you ended up with a really tough set of parents and that was not your fault. It sucks. I can see how much pain your dad causes you. I know you don't have the relationship you want from him and I am so sorry about that.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And it's really hard for me as your partner to watch you continue to be hurt again and again by a guy who does not treat you with the love you deserve. It's also hard to watch you guys fight all the time and then see you go back and help him without resolving anything. and then bring a lot of that hurt and sadness and frustration to me. I love you. I appreciate you. You are a wonderful person.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But I'm going to be very honest and say that this family stuff is really starting to wear on me. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for you appropriately. But this now feels like something different. This feels like constantly helping you deal with pain that I think we now know you need to learn how to protect yourself from.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Because unfortunately, I just don't see this situation with your family, at least with your father, changing. So I think there are a few ways that you could start to work on your relationship with your parents on your side of things. And if you're open to talking about that, I'm here to do that.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Agreed. And if she pursues those options, I think that would go a long way in helping your relationship. It would also give you more confidence that this is the right relationship for you. And if she doesn't want to dig into the stuff and make some meaningful progress, then you'll have the last big piece of data you need to know whether breaking up really is the right decision.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And you'll probably have a lot less guilt about making that call. So doing this is really for both of you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I love that your cargo shorts and polo shirt with the collar popped was not enough for him to know that you were not on staff.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
All right, time for our recommendation of the week. So I've always dug cool tattoos on people, but I am way too terrified to ever get a tattoo myself. I just don't, I don't know if I love anything enough to live with it forever. I'm a coward basically. But when I went to Burning Man, we played around with those temporary tattoos, you know, like when we would go out at night, they were so fun.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It was like this funny little playful, like dress up kind of thing we did. It was a way to have fun and be performative without having to commit to anything. And It's incredibly fun to do for parties, especially with friends. So my recommendation of the week is these high-end temporary tattoos you can get online.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Again, it's a way to have fun as an adult and microdose this massive commitment without waking up in 12 years with a terrible Ben Affleck tattoo of a wolf on your forearm or whatever. Lots of fun. I think you guys might like it too.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
The Tyler Durden in your heart.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Very cool.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yeah. And this is the way to do it. Yeah. I'm going to include some links to a couple of cool sets I found on Amazon in the show notes. There's one in black. There's one in white. The white is really elegant if you want to class it up a little for a party.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I actually really like the white ones and they can be fun to put on your like forehead or your cheek without looking like a, you know, like a SoundCloud rapper or something. Highly recommend.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
All right, next up. Dear Gordon and Jabe, I'm a 45-year-old in the telecommunications industry. The pay is decent. I'm not a millionaire, but earn in the low six figures, which is enough to care for myself and my family. I'm also a struggling addict who has been through recovery twice in the last four years. I'm now at a crossroads and I'm scared. Honestly, I'm petrified.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
In 2020, I was working a job that I truly enjoyed as a customer trainer for a satellite communications company. I was able to travel the world and interact with a wide variety of people from all walks of life. This was the first time that I had worked directly with people since I was a team chief in the U.S.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Army back in the early 2000s, where I was a supervisor for up to eight people and millions of dollars worth of equipment. I was recognized as the Distinguished Leadership Graduate from the Army Leadership School, and I noticed during my service that I had a natural gift for working and dealing with people.
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I still maintain contact with several of my soldiers, and they continuously tell me how much I meant to them and how grateful they were for my leadership.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Unfortunately, I was a functional alcoholic. I never got into any serious trouble with alcohol, no fights, no DUIs, no arrests, but it was clear that I was not healthy and needed to make some drastic changes in my life. So I went to a recovery center in 2020. While there, I noticed that I again gravitated towards serving people in need.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
In week two of the six-week program, I was approached by some of the staff about staying on as a servant leader, a volunteer who stays on at the facility to help the staff and mentor other addicts in recovery. I was consistently told by the counselors and other patients that this was what I was supposed to be doing in life.
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Well, speaking of lessons, one more thing before we jump in. Two weeks ago, we took a letter from a woman who, as you guys might remember, had to co-parent with her criminal ex-husband. Right. And in her letter, she mentioned that the first time he was arrested, he was busted by a number of different law enforcement agencies, including the Game Wardens.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Due to the stories of my rough background and my unusual appearance, I'm able to reach people that others might not be able to.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
For all those reasons, I quit my job to volunteer for four months in the hopes of working there full time while working toward my certification to become an addiction counselor. But when my four-month volunteer service ended, I was told by the leader of the facility, quote, we just do not have anything for you, unquote. I was crushed.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I had been gassed up by so many people that I was sure that this was God telling me to move in this direction. I was ready to make a serious change in my life, and now I was left with nothing. I also know that the rejection was specific to me because they ended up hiring two other people from the same class as me to full-time positions.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
The rejection also hurt on a personal level because I had elevated the director of the center to almost a father-like position because mine had abandoned me as a child. Okay. There was a lot going on in this volunteer position. A lot, yeah. So he goes on. I eventually got a new job in my field, but sadly ended up relapsing a few months later.
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1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
The loss of this new life, these old feelings of abandonment, and isolation due to COVID were too much for me to bear. Two years after my first stint, I went to a different recovery facility. After the first two weeks of detoxing and adjusting mentally, I started getting that same feeling again. Clients were coming to me for advice, guidance, or just to talk.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Staff members noticed this and told me that I had something of value to offer others. This program was 12 weeks long, and around four weeks in, I started making it known to the leadership that I wanted to pursue this path. I spoke regularly with the CEO of the organization who would consistently tell me, man, we cannot wait to get you here. And Hey man, when are we going to make this happen?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
with many hugs and handshakes and other positive affirmations. I was asked to develop two classes on recovery by the end of the week and delivered four within two days. I was talking to most of the staff and it seemed to me that I was destined to be there.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
After my program, which included four weeks of aftercare where I stayed on as a volunteer, I made it clear to the CEO that I couldn't quit my full-time job. But since this location was right on my way to and from work, I would volunteer as often as they needed, so long as I could remain in the recovery community. I felt a strong sense of direction again. I felt fulfilled and complete.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Then the facility attempted to run my insurance again for four more weeks of aftercare, which was denied, as it wasn't a quote-unquote medical necessity. Two days later, I was discharged from the program by the one guy on staff I wasn't talking to, who ended up being the decision maker.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
When I asked that guy about leadership roles, I was told, yeah, that's really only for people that can be here full time and was essentially shown the door. I attempted several times to reach out to the CEO and was met with very brief responses, if any at all. It was clear to me that I was lied to about any potential to be involved once they were done collecting money from my insurance company.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And when we took the letter, we were like, why would the game wardens be there? Right. Well, one of our listeners, Eric, wrote us and pointed out that when you have a hot tip and the suspect in question has any sort of illegal dealings that a game warden could theoretically be a part of, apparently when you're in law enforcement, you always call them because they don't need a warrant.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I agree. Very concerning. But also, the first time he was turned down, that did seem to be unique to him. It wasn't about money, right?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Now I'm back in the communications industry and. I am miserable. I battle daily with depression, and though I'm not 100% sober, I have some beer here and there. I am not at the level I was before going to recovery, nor do I plan on being back in that dark place.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
especially when his life purpose seems to be helping people in recovery. We got to come back to this. So he goes on, I know that I'm supposed to be doing something different with my life. I know that I'm supposed to be serving God by serving others. I know that I have a gift when it comes to interacting with those in pain and in need of help.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
At the end of my workday, I feel completely unfulfilled. I would much rather know that I was able to help just one person, even if the pay were considerably less. My goal is to open a recovery facility co-located with an animal rescue. I love dogs, and I know that when an addict has something else to care for, something else to live for, recovery is much more successful.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I dream of a facility where someone can come and fight off their addiction while also helping rescue animals. I love it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But then I'm so scared to step away from this industry for a third attempt to enter the recovery field. The thought of not being able to make my rent or pay my bills keeps me up at night, and often in tears during the day. I know this is not where I belong, but I feel that I've been let down two different times by those that I thought were my path into this field.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I do not know if I can tackle this mountain on my own. but I've been on my own since I was 16 and have never had to ask anyone for help. How can I go about getting my foot in the community again so I can start really making a difference in people's lives? Am I overthinking this? Should I just toss the cow shit in the wind and let the chips fall where they may?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
What advice can you offer someone in my position? signed, trying to not get flattened by dealing with these dragons as I wait for my best life to happen while I'm on, or at least around, the wagon.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So in California, for example, fishing and game wardens are generally allowed to come onto a private property without a warrant. And it's because of something called the open fields doctrine. And then the other agencies that they're working with can just walk right in the house behind them. And they're basically free to roam and they don't have to go through all the paperwork.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I've never heard of it either, but actually, now that I look at it, I think he might have been trying to say throw caution to the wind, and it came out as cow shit to the wind.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Agreed. To me, this is a sign that you need to be responsible while you're also courageous. And it is not either or.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
That's also a really interesting example because working as a patent examiner, that was a smart day job to have as a physicist. I think I remember reading that being exposed to all those patents actually helped Einstein develop his own ideas and think more creatively or something like that.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So that's a good case study in potentially looking for work that's near the field you care about, even if it's not exactly the work that you dream of doing.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Is recovery.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But he also said that it was clear that he wasn't healthy and he needed to make some drastic changes in his life.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Which, you know, I think might include this father wound he mentioned, this sense of abandonment, the fact that he's been on his own since he was 16 years old, which is heartbreaking. These core wounds are profound and they might be driving a lot of this guy's story in ways that he might not fully realize.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Not just the pain of being rejected by these recovery centers and that CEO in particular, but also the depression that he's experiencing these days, the struggle he feels in reaching out and asking for help. even the ambivalence about pursuing his purpose in the first place.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I'm speculating a little bit here and I'm maybe glossing over some things, but I do wonder if that might be the real problem that alcohol has seemed like the solution for.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I might go a step further and very respectfully say that I find it a little presumptuous of him to want to coach other addicts when he is not 100% sober himself. I hear in his letter that he has a lot to offer other people in recovery. And I believe him, that he is a natural leader, that people respond to him, they respond to his story. It is so beautiful.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But I think he needs to pause and ask himself, Why he is chasing this path so hard if he isn't fully walking that path himself? Is he putting the cart before the horse here? My strong feeling is yes. Is it possible that ministering to other addicts is in part a way for him to potentially bypass aspects of his own recovery?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And what role does that desire play in that person's personality? It's very interesting. So yeah, I think we have to ask the question, is there something attractive to our friend here about being the guy who can help other people stay sober? The guy who's powerful and inspiring and kind of essential when he's struggling to stay sober himself. I know those are intense questions to ponder.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Maybe they feel a little bit leading, but I'm with you, Jordan. Something is not quite right here. The dream of his to build the center that offers addiction treatment and animal therapy is amazing, but... How can the guy running that center, running group therapy sessions, for example, coaching addicts, how can that guy who has a history of substance abuse not be sober?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
That does not feel right to me. And I wonder if on some level that doesn't feel right to him either. And maybe that's why he's tied up in knots these days, not just because You know, he's working a job that he doesn't care about, that's not aligned with his purpose, but because on some level he knows that he still has work to do on himself before this path truly becomes doable.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
To say nothing of the fact that continuing to drink might be making all of these feelings and decisions even harder to work through.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yeah, I think it's a very fair question, and it's absolutely up to him to decide what the answer is, what he believes is true. But to me, it doesn't really matter if he doesn't plan on being back in that dark place, as he put it. I think he already is back in that dark place or at least a dark place.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
as long as he is not living his life fully in alignment with his supposed purpose, which means living his life fully in alignment with sobriety. But I do want to clarify one thing. I am not saying that this purpose of yours is misguided or that it's not actually your path. I do not think that you're being disingenuous or deluded about how much this recovery path means to you.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Your struggle with alcohol, it informs this calling of yours in a really important way. It's like a priest who wrestles with his faith and that makes his role even more meaningful, right? Or a therapist who's drawn to helping people because of her own trauma, right? This does not disqualify you from this meaningful work. I think it actually qualifies you even more.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
That's right. The question is, what relationship do you have with those wounds? How are you engaging with these challenges? So my strong feeling, I don't mean to beat a dead horse. It's just so fascinating what this guy is dealing with.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
My strong feeling is that he needs to look at all of his motivations for wanting to pursue this work at this moment, especially given that he's not fully walking the walk.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It's so interesting.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But I can absolutely understand why that's probably made it even scarier for him to open himself up to help again.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
That is such an interesting theory. That could be. But to really trace this back and just hopefully connect up all these dots really quickly. I think we're hearing from a guy who has some unaddressed trauma, some very real wounds, as we all do. He's a terrific leader, a generous human being, apparently a very compelling role model, and he has some stuff to work through. The alcohol?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Probably a way of dealing with that trauma. But the trauma is also making his relationship with the recovery world even more fraught. So in many ways, I do wonder if this goes back to his father. And I know that that's like the obvious Freud take here. But remember, he put that director of that first center up on a pedestal.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He became a kind of surrogate father to him because his dad abandoned him as a child. And that made that rejection so much more painful, right? He wasn't just turned down by a place he was excited about. He was kind of pushed out, rejected by a guy who felt like dad and a place that probably felt like home.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And who knows, maybe the way he related to that director and maybe other people at the center, the people he chose to talk to, and maybe that one guy he didn't talk to, maybe that contributed to their decision. I say that not to make him paranoid or to blame him because it does sound like they also loved him and he did phenomenal work there, right? Clearly. But who knows?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Maybe he came off as a little intense or a little clingy or a little presumptuous or who knows? Maybe they had an intuitive sense, to your point, Jordan, that he just wasn't the right fit for them. It's also possible that those people just did not value and appreciate him and that is on them.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
But then there's the fact that he's been on his own from such a young age, which is another very important data point. He doesn't have a lot of experience asking for help. And what that tells me is that he's probably extremely self-sufficient. It's a hallmark of leadership that can also become a fatal flaw. And it's probably very uncomfortable for him to say, I need help.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yeah. From one narcissist to another, by the way, the theme continues this month. All right. Take it away. Hi, Jordan and Gabe. I was in an extremely abusive marriage and relationship emotionally, physically, financially, and psychologically for 17 years. with a narcissist. Wow.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And those are really two sides of the same coin.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And I'm sure that relates to his dad, too. But being vulnerable in that way is essential. It's essential in recovery. It's essential in therapy. And it sounds very essential in helping other addicts. And look, he is being very vulnerable with us. I want to give him so much credit for that. He has a gift for reaching other addicts. He has a gift for moving people with his story.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And he's being very open with us. But in these two relationships, the one that he has with other addicts who need help and
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
and the one that he's having with us right now, two strangers on a podcast, he might be able to be vulnerable on certain convenient terms, either by being the guy who inspires and leads, which might put him in a position of superiority, or by being the guy who gets to be anonymous and a little distant, which might put him in a position of safety.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I successfully left this marriage 10 years ago, but I had two children with him and unfortunately have to co-parent with him. Oof.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Yes, it's narcissist season. That's apparently, yeah, that makes total sense. They famously emerge after daylight savings is over. Don't you know that? No, I don't know. Coincidence, I guess, or... Maybe, I guess people hear stories on the show about them and then they feel moved to write in. Sure, that must be it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
After leaving him, I went to extensive therapy for many years. I've been in a relationship for seven years. And as you can imagine, there are some tough times when your baggage includes a narcissist ex who isn't above physical threats. Wow. After 10 years of being quote-unquote free from him, he kept me in legal battle after legal battle as a means of control.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Eventually, it was my turn to ask the court to get permission to emigrate with one of our children to Europe with my new partner. The eldest is an adult now. After three years, the court granted me full custody and permission to emigrate, and now we're gearing up for the big move. The problem is, I have a business doing digital marketing and social media specializing in hospitality.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
My ex, who's currently going through his second divorce, contacted me about doing social media for his business. My answer was, I need to think about it. A big part of my healing journey has been journaling, writing things down, which helps me clear my head. come to a better perspective, manage my triggers around my ex better, build boundaries, and rebuild myself.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So after this request, I wrote out a plan and a list of ideas to come to a sound decision. In the end, I told my ex I was unable to assist him.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I had told my partner about the offer the same day my ex asked me to work with him, but I never told my partner how I arrived at the decision to turn him down. Little did I know that my partner had found my journal and my writing about all of this.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He asked me if there was a discussion between my ex and me about it, and I said no, that I needed to think about it, and that I decided that it wouldn't work. My partner then accused me of lying. I asked what he meant and he said, I asked you if there was a discussion and you said no to my face. I said, yes, that's right.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I tried to explain the journal, putting aside my annoyance and my hurt that he read in my private writing, and tried explaining that it's my way of processing and analyzing. He doesn't believe me and claims that I'm saying that to avoid taking responsibility for lying.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Right.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Okay. I tried to explain to him that when my ex first asked me to work together, I had this knee-jerk response like, see, you didn't break me completely. I rebuilt myself bigger and better. It was vindication to me to learn that my abuser needed my skills for something.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I was so proud of myself that I took my time and didn't just follow my initial response, which was to prove to him that despite the abuse he put me through, I made it, I grew, I was now a force to be reckoned with, so much so that he was asking me for help. I was so proud that I did what I learned in therapy, to write things out, and that I ultimately said no.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Unfortunately, my partner didn't see it like that and completely invalidated my feelings about it.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Right. She's saying, look at the process I went through to make the right decision here, to make a decision that, you know, is thoughtful and truly mine. That's a win for me. That's the win.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Right. So is asking her to be his social media marketer part of that game?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It does seem curious. I agree.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
To say nothing of the fact that working with him again, to your point, would be a disaster.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I think there are some really interesting things happening on both sides of this equation. I also want to ask, and I ask this without judgment, whether she should even be looking for vindication and validation from her abuser. For sure. And why? And why? Right. Well, I'm guessing that that's part of the trauma and the dynamic with him.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
So she goes on. What my partner did next has left me feeling very unheard. and extremely unsettled. He took my explanation as an excuse. His view is that I'm using the fact that I was in an abusive relationship as an excuse for lying. And it's time that I leave all of this in my past. He believes that anyone who's been abused wouldn't have had to even think about this offer.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And again, I get that to some degree. To be honest, I wish that was my natural reaction. But I got there. I just needed to follow my own process. Shouldn't that count for something?
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I was very hurt. My partner then told me that it's my choice to be hurt. And that basically me being hurt is irrelevant because I hurt him first by lying. Okay, dude. I don't know. This guy suddenly got a little more complicated for me.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
And not even trying to appreciate why she handled things the way she did, even if he disagrees.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
We should write a book about this and teach people about it because it's a thing.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
It's been over seven weeks since this happened and I've completely shut him out. Mind you, he shut me out and pushed me away as well.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I acknowledged that I hurt his feelings by even telling my ex that I had to think about the offer and I own that and I apologized. He didn't accept that apology because he said it wasn't sincere because my answer should have been no from the outset. Wait, what? What do those two things have to do with each other? I'm confused.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Before she could have known that that's what he would have wanted and therefore would not have needed to apologize to him if she knew that. I'm so confused. Right.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
He still refuses to acknowledge that he hurt me too. He hasn't apologized and he's told me that he isn't going to. When I try to talk to him about it, he passively aggressively gives my ex nicknames that he claims I probably call my ex too, which I don't.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
I don't feel this situation can be seen from only one perspective. It's quite complicated rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. Everyone heals and grows in different ways, and my road has been hard. This is a process that my partner doesn't understand, it seems. He also doesn't believe in therapy.
The Jordan Harbinger Show
1087: Can Trust Be Recovered After Diary Discovered? | Feedback Friday
Which might also explain why it's hard for him to empathize with her.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Smartphones enrich our lives. They open up countless possibilities for us. We stream our favorite songs, share special moments and are available everywhere. But often we lose ourselves in endless scrolling. Use the network again to inspire you from new places. To plan real experiences and to connect you with your loved ones. Go We Live. Live in the now instead of in the network. Vodafone.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Together we can.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power
Has he changed?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power
Has he changed?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
How To Declutter Your Home: 5 Tips That Actually Work
Hi, Mel. It's Therese. What do you do if your spouse is a sloppy person, but you're not? I feel like I am constantly trying to organize our house and keep it clean, but my husband has such a difficult time keeping it that way. I am constantly picking up after him. Anyone that comes over knows my side of the room versus his side.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
How To Declutter Your Home: 5 Tips That Actually Work
We are childless by choice, but sometimes I feel like I have a house full of them. Help. Thank you.
The Toast
Wood v. Solomon: Thursday, April 24th, 2025
I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry. Oh no, take that back.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
And like she's being dramatic when it is a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I'm glad that they don't live together. That makes things a lot easier.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I'm really glad she got out. I'm glad she's safe. I'm glad she's having fun. I do hope we get another update somewhere in the future. Just being like, hey, all good. No need to worry. But for now, it seems like we have a resolution or at least a decent one. So I'm really happy where this story ended up.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
It's an easy one. These dumb motherfuckers. These dumb motherfuckers. You can't say that. These dumb motherfuckers. I think the weirdest thing... And the mom keeps saying, yeah, consider to keep the peace. No, you fight. OP, you fight.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Yeah, I mean, it's always weird with these parents... taking the side of the person creating the problem. Just to keep the peace. Yeah, just to keep the peace. It gets me so frustrated.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I was literally going to say the same thing. She named her son after the dog. The dog was there first. The dog had the name Charlie first. And she went ahead and named her son after the dog. Like, come on. It is not that simple to change a dog's name. The dog has had that name for four years. It knows to respond to that name.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
How am I going to reprogram myself to call my dog a different name and hope that he's gonna, you know, respond to the new name? Like, that's gonna be confusing for the poor dog. Like, that's not nice. And plus... The baby is just a baby. He doesn't know what's going on. What family member is going to make fun of the baby and the dog having the same name?
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Like, that's not a family I want to be a part of, quite frankly, because... What jokes can be made?
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
This is so odd. First of all, Charlie is such a common dog name. Like, I'm so sorry to break it to you. There are so many other dogs that have, I personally know like three Charlie dogs. And the way that the sister thought that the kid's going to get picked on growing up because it's going to have the same name as a dog, that doesn't happen.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
like that just doesn't happen two of my best friends growing up one of them had a name and the other one had a dog with the same name we didn't make fun of her for it we just thought it was funny i have a hilarious story that kind of relates to this i have a very good friend from school growing up she had a dog named bob one day we're in college and she calls me up ring ring
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
And she's like, guess what? I've started seeing someone. And I'm like, oh my God, tell me everything about him. And she's like, his name is Bob. We proceed to burst out in laughter because that is hilarious. A couple of months later, I'm chatting with her again. I'm asking about her sister. How is your sister? She goes, guess what? I go, what? She said she's dating a guy.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I'm like, oh my God, tell me about the guy. Can you guess what the guy's name was? That's right. It was Bob. These are all fake names, by the way. So yeah, there was one point where there were three Bobs. One was a dog and two were boyfriends. It's very funny. We laugh about it to this day.
Two Hot Takes
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She used to get a little bit annoyed about it, but then she got over it and she really just saw the humor in it and it was fine. No one got confused. At most, we said when she started saying Bob's name, I'd be like, which one? It will be fine. Your sister will be fine. Trust me.
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I do think that the lady with the baby is a little bit cuckoo. I mean, when she was picking out the baby names that didn't cross her mind that, oh, Charlie, that's my sister's dog's name. If she really did overlook that, that's her fault. If this name Charlie is special for any reason, she should have came to you before the baby was born and said, hey, you know, I don't know.
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Grandpa's name is Charlie. It's really special to me. And I really want to name my first son Charlie. Is there anything we can do with your dog's name? I think you just either need to let your sister get over it with some time, maybe distance yourself, unfortunately. I think it's outrageous that she's asking you to change your dog's name. And I definitely would not do that.
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I would not recommend it. I think this could be really cool and special. Like the kid and the dog could have a really cool bond. maybe do things together, dress up as Halloween, something to do with their names. But instead, it's kind of turned into this negative thing where I think it could be really special. So I hope that it all works out and you guys can figure it out.
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And Charlie one and Charlie two, we just become best friends.
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The dog was named Charlie first. If only one gets a name, it's a dog. Now, more than one can have the name. It's Totally fine. More than one kid has the same name, especially when you go to preschool, especially with more common names. You'll have multiple Charlies and usually they don't, you know, nickname one that kind of comes in like later years. So they'll be okay.
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Kids' brains are forming very, very fast at this age. So he'll be able to tell that when you call Charlie and you're looking at him, you're not referring to the dog. Now, the dog may be confused. If anything, this tells me that the family has been excessively babying the younger sister just because why else would this even be a suggestion? I don't understand how anyone...
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Unless the youngest sister is a lot to deal with, why they would even consider telling the sister, oh, yeah, you should rename your dog. Like, that's odd behavior.
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I mean, this is just so stupid. It's not even funny. Peace? Are you serious? If the only way to maintain a peace is by me changing my dog's name, then I want none of it. Let's bring war at this point. Like, what's the point of entertaining this idea whatsoever? What is it about it? I don't understand it. That would be my dying hill.
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Quite frankly, it gives main girl energy, the sister it's giving. You don't know what hardship is. If you're that so fucking hell bent on, well, you need to change your dog's name. Why? What's the point? If it's to keep peace in the family, then I don't want it. What's the point?
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Yeah, girl. I think you're being the asshole. I think grief is hard because everybody's grief comes out in different ways. But grief doesn't absolve you from being an asshole. It's kind of like whether you intend to hurt somebody or not. The intention doesn't really matter in the end because it's still doing harm of some sort. That is his family.
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And if there's two marks in the family, it's not a big deal. But that is his brother. He does want to honor him in some way, I don't think it's fair to gatekeep that from them. It feels harsh.
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Initially, when I heard the title, I instantly thought, yeah, you're the asshole. But knowing that Mark's brother wants to use the name is completely different. I was expecting it to be outside family members who aren't related to Mark in any way, but it's his brother. That's his family. Yes, it's important to you. That's just important to them. That's their entire family. life.
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They've been brothers and he should be able to honor his brother in that way. I feel like it's more of just a courtesy that he told you. Now, if Mark and him weren't related, then the stride would be different, but they're brothers. That's his family too. And I don't think you should be able to tell them that they can't name their baby after their baby's late uncle.
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I think first and foremost, it was really respectful of the brother to reach out to OP, the wife, and get her thoughts on naming his son Mark. I understand where the wife is coming from. It's difficult because this was your person that you were supposed to spend your whole life with, and it's difficult to have someone else in the family with that name. I can understand that. I
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I find it interesting how she mentioned that she might want to reserve the name Mark for a future child of hers. So you can't really have both. You can't say that it would make you emotional to have someone else in the family named Mark, but then at the same time possibly want to reserve it for your own child.
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I think if it was any other situation... in the way that these people were related to Mark, I would think they were pushing boundaries. But this is his brother. At least from my perspective, if one of my sisters were to die, I would definitely want to be able to name my future child after them.
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And if they're partners, because obviously we don't know, like, how close that they all were as a family. Like, maybe, like, OP wasn't close with her brother. Maybe they were. But I just think that, like, if my sister's partners were like, no, you can't name your child that. Like, I'd be so mad and I would do it anyway. Like, I get that it's very difficult for OP.
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I don't think they're being unreasonable because I understand where they're coming from. But I personally think they just need to back down. Nothing's stopping them from also using the name Mark, but also nothing's guaranteeing that they will in the future have a son. And it could potentially go the other way when no one ends up honouring him by using his name.
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I find it kind of hard to use the word asshole on someone grieving their dead husband and having feelings connected to his death.
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I think that they're in their rights to honor Mark in their way. They've grown up together. And it's obviously a loss for Ethan as well. As well as OP. So, no, I don't think she's the asshole for having conflicted feelings about that name being used and expressing those to Mark and his wife. I think they're also in their rights to ignore those wishes.
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That was a lot of information to leave out. I'm just going to say that. Screw that brother. You had us in the first half. Screw that brother. No.
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He didn't even go to the funeral. I hope OP adopts a baby and is able to name this baby Mark before her sister-in-law gives birth and then Mark is already used. And if they want to be the one using the name twice, then they can go ahead and be the one using the name twice. But I hope OP steals it right out from under their feet because this just makes me so mad.
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if he hasn't even had a relationship with mark no screw that that all goes out the window yep bye opie needs to name her child mark and you know what actually go ahead and name said child mark middle name last name the second like now we're not only using mark this is mark jr like i don't we're going all the way there i'm using every single one of his names and the rest of you can kiss my butt
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Now none of the names are available. That's how I feel. Yeah.
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I'm so flabbergasted at the second edit of that one. Hasn't spoken to him in years and now wants to use his name. That just seems like an attention-seeking kind of thing. Like, oh, it was needed for my deceased brother.
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Oh, it makes me so angry. They do not deserve to use the name of someone and act like they're honoring them if they literally have had no contact in years and didn't even come to the funeral. You just want to say you're honoring him. so that it looks like you care when it's very obvious they don't.
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I'm going to play devil's advocate here for Ethan. I can't remember if she mentioned how long it's been since her husband passed, but what if Ethan is feeling guilty and remorseful and is now reminiscing on their childhood and he feels that naming his son Mark is a way to almost like make up for lost time, make up for the things he now feels guilty for.
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I mean, grief hits everyone different, man. I mean, yeah, maybe they weren't close, but maybe it is hitting him and he does really miss his brother. We don't know. It's hard to make a call.
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In the end, if you're not close to them and you're never going to see them really after this, let him name a mark. Name your baby Mark. There's so many Marks in the world. Maybe that's insensitive. You're not an asshole. Maybe nobody's an asshole here. There's just not I just feel like there's still kind of missing context of like why they were not close.
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She's not an asshole for feeling the way she does feel like I was going to say no assholes here. I was going to say she's still in the wrong, but because she's facing grief the way she's facing it and the brother would be facing the grief the way he's facing it. However, it doesn't with that edit. It doesn't even sound like this is a form of grieving for him.
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It sounds like it's a form of attention grabbing, which if I were her, I'm impressed because I if I wrote that original post, I would have said they're doing it for attention. And this makes me mad. And I told them no, because of that reason. on top of the fact that she wants to adopt a kid and have that be the kid's name.
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I'm really trying not to have my inner New York City side of me pop out because that was just absolute disrespect. And like a disrespect in the block would run very differently. And so I just think that he just stood up for himself and his friends, his so-called friends that are saying that he's overreacting.
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If I was a friend and I heard that someone did that to my friend, I would be like, no, you are so in your right to not... tolerate that to say yo i'm this is done i'm not i'm not taking this as this disrespect this is absolutely wild you you have me all the way messed up that is not happening what the actual fuck was that first of all obviously op is not the asshole
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And I think 2025 should be the year where we stop doing these pranks that are just like emotional abuse disguised as a prank. I feel really similarly to pranks as you, Morgan. Like I think a lot of times they're just like hurtful and unnecessary and at the expense of somebody else. And so I don't know. I have a lot of thoughts on this.
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My biggest question with this story is like, who is this mutual friend that pulled the prank with her? I wonder if her and him were friends first, or if the boyfriend and him were friends first, or just what their general dynamic is as a friend group. Because I'm getting the vibe that the girlfriend and this mutual friend who she'd pulled the prank with are secretly in love with each other.
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And that this was, like, a desperate attempt to, like, have alone time together or, like, an excuse to get naked in front of each other and do all this slimy shit behind the scenes.
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I'm sorry, but you don't just, like, plan a prank faking to, like, have sex unless you've been, like, actively thinking about it prior. Like, how did you pick the friend? And essentially, you're bumping and grinding on your mutual friend. After two and a half years, it's just super disrespectful. And you're also just dumb to think that that's, like, okay.
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How do you not know your partner's boundaries after two years?
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I just really am not buying that it was an innocent prank. I think regardless, the girlfriend and this mutual friend guy have some sort of ulterior motive because I don't see how any part of... Trying to see what your boyfriend's reaction would be to you cheating on him could result in a funny outcome.
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Like, he's either gonna scream, get angry, cry, be heartbroken and depressed, or have, like, a major anxiety panic attack. Like... I don't know. Like, there's no path that that situation could have taken where any rational human being would be like, hee hee, so funny.
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Like, oh, and like, it's already crossing so many boundaries that like, she was like in her bra and panties, like straddling the sky. Yeah. Like that alone would be enough for me to like leave somebody.
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What type of response is that? You're weird as fuck, girl. Like, why would you think that's funny? One, why are you sitting with his friend and watching TikToks and YouTube videos or cheating pranks together? It feels like a setup. Two, yeah, of course you'd be like, oh yeah, take off your pants now. That would make it shock factor. Loser. Weird. Take off your shirts.
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It seems like you guys were joking and then it was like, You got like hot and bothered about it. And you're like, actually, yeah, let's just like take off our clothes. It'll be funny. Video doesn't matter. Intent doesn't matter. You hurt the person. Take the L. Move on. You fucked up.
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Don't care if it's a prank. Don't care if I know for a fact that you guys didn't sleep together. You're gone. You're we're done. You're both out of here. Fuck your prank. It literally sounds like the guy that said his girlfriend's sister tricked him into sleeping with her. For them to get to the point where it's like, let's make it more believable. You take your pants off. You take your pants off.
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Help. I think she's missing the bigger picture here because she mentioned how she thinks that he doesn't believe that this was set up. It was planned. It was a prank. She wasn't actually cheating on him. Yeah, we got that. It doesn't change the fact that it's still weird. Why did you do that? They still did that. They still got undressed and were all over each other.
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Whether it was real or not, that's a weird thing to do and she still did it. I think she's missing the point of...
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of that he believes her but she wasn't really thinking at all when she did it or she wasn't thinking about him when she did it I just I don't know I feel like these are probably like one of those things that is really really needs to be talked about before you get into a relationship like what do you consider as a prank or not or what do you consider cheating or whatnot and all this kind of stuff because this is those conversations where like you can have good intentions but the impact is still there you had good intent
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very questionable good intentions that it was just a prank but the impact was still there you still made the impact of how making him feel what he felt and so to him the impact was that you did not care if you cared you would not have done that and i think that's what a lot of times people find a hard time forgiving and so like i would if i was him i would forgive but i would not
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put myself in that boat because I don't, there was just, it was, they were just way too comfortable. And I don't think I liked that. It was too comfortable for them to be in the bed together, take off 90% of their clothing and then just really have a conversation like that or a prank like that. I can forgive, but I don't think I can go back to something like that.
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Okay, as someone who just got married this year, you get one day, all right? You get the big day. It's all about you. Spotlight's on you. Three days later, Yeah, no. You're out of line. You don't get a location. You don't get a week or a year or a month. You get a day. All right? You are not the asshole for getting engaged. Congratulations.
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This is a recent relation for us because we got engaged on the 21st of December. Beep, beep, beep. I'm excited. I've been insufferable since. But anyway, they did their best to separate as much as they could. They went a few hours away. They extended their trip. Everybody's gone. And he said, okay, we're doing this really special thing. And we're on a really beautiful location.
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And I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'll do it here. Cool. I feel like that's fine. For me, I guess it kind of depends on how soon after that.
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Three days is kind of soon. I would have waited, like, a week and let them have that week of marriage, being a new married couple, and then kind of started saying things. But I can understand the excitement, you know? I do commend the brother for standing up for his now wife.
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That wasn't the intent. Like, try to explain the situation to her directly. Like, avoid any possible, like, instrument.
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I can see both sides of this because from OP's perspective, the second half of the trip for the proposal was not at all related to the wedding that they were there for. I mean, they waited until everyone else went home and it was just the two of them. It was more of a private trip, which is why the proposal happened. From sister-in-law's perspective, I kind of get it.
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Like, the only reason they were in Arizona was...
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for the wedding and then they just kind of piggybacked off that trip which was not initially meant for them I do feel like sister-in-law is kind of playing the card of like oh well they got engaged at my wedding well that's not true that didn't actually happen I understand why she's hurt but I don't I feel like that might just be something you keep to yourself and say congratulations like I'm happy for you
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Keep it to yourself. You can be annoyed. It's a fine line because this wasn't their wedding, but it was the wedding trip. Very weird. Kind of a weird situation. I'm a little bit more on the side of OP. I hope there's more details that show the relationship between OP and sister-in-law that is maybe hiding something.
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I feel like I need to know more about the relationship between OP, the sister, and then the brother who just got married. Has there always been this sibling rivalry? Has he always felt like she was trying to one-up him? Because that's what it's feeling like. It's feeling like he just got married. They're still in the bubble of, oh, this was three days ago. You know, we're still celebrating this.
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It's still very exciting for the family. So I could see that if there was some sort of rivalry or whatever, to feel like your thunder was being taken by her getting engaged. The fact it was on the same trip, too, is a little... Interesting.
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I can understand wanting to do it when you're abroad in a nice place, of course, but it does feel a little bit weird to be getting engaged on this trip that was intended for a wedding. I don't know. I wouldn't go as far to say asshole because people are allowed to propose when and where they want and however they want to do that. Maybe they genuinely thought that it wouldn't be an issue at all.
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I don't really know, but I think there's some sort of sibling rivalry going on and that's why he's so upset.
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People who feel like they have a very secure relationship with their sibling and people who feel like they've gotten enough attention in their life are totally fine. They're like, wow, I just had my wedding. We're about to have another one in the next year or so. I'm so excited. I'm so elated. I love that my love inspired them to take that next step. Of course, that's the ideal perspective.
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And I think that's the healthy, the psychologically healthy perspective. But I do think realistically, people do have wounds that come from their family, that come from their childhood, where they don't necessarily feel like they got enough attention or enough focused, individualized attention.
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And I think our society makes weddings out to be this thing that you finally have this space to be just about you. And I think what it might be is the sister-in-law might have certain family dynamics where she's never felt like she got to be the center of attention. She never felt like she got to be the one people focus on, or maybe even the brother potentially.
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Like it sounds like she, he was defending the sister-in-law, but that's just an assumption that OP made. It's not coming from nowhere. Like these people aren't coming from a place of being irrational and
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necessarily I think it's just coming from a place of hurt and coming from a place where there is just like a hole that needs to be mended and wounded so I think I again I don't think that OP needs to delay their life because of the brother's timeline of their wedding but I also think it's worth letting that be a conversation for a bigger problem that they seem to have.
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And obviously like in an ideal world, everyone goes to therapy, everyone goes to family therapy, but yeah, I think it just really stems down to wanting the space to celebrate.
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As long as you didn't propose during my wedding or you were talking about it during my wedding to kind of take away from my special day, I don't really care because I had a great time. That's all that matters. I had a great time. The wedding went well. Nobody impeded on it. I don't care. If you want to do it the next day, it doesn't bother me.
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It's very much so giving. I wanted to be the child that had the most recognition on the Christmas card this year. You shouldn't have gotten engaged all this year. You should have let this be my time to shine on our Christmas card. It's like, it's my birthday month. Right, yeah. It's also, it's giving, why did you give birth on my birthday?
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Like, that's the type of, like, unhinged, like, I'm going to have to share the family celebration with this child.
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Yes, it was in the general sense. series of events of the wedding but it wasn't at the wedding and also like the proposal was a private thing done between them like the chances are probably not every single person who went to the wedding will even know that this proposal then happened after on their own little holiday which just happened to have begun with the wedding and
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It's especially if they've had this idea, obviously we don't know, if they've had this idea of like a destination proposal, like they're already on holiday, like by the sounds of it, they're American. So I don't know how much holiday they'll even get in the year. So this may be their one chance to actually get a destination proposal.
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without having to go on a separate holiday, I really think they're not on the wrong. And it was very nice of OP to apologise in the way that they did over message. And I think that's all they owe them, to be honest. I would, however, be scared of if this couple does feel really wronged, if they're going to retaliate at OP's wedding in any way.
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I don't see what the harm is. I mean, if anything, I'd be, I'd feel happy for them. I mean, I'm glad that my love and my new wife's love inspired you to also decide to settle down and get married. I think that's a beautiful thing. I, I did not, I truly do not understand why you would be so upset about that or feel like it's taken away from your moment. No, your moment was beautiful. And now you,
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We have another beautiful moment coming that was inspired by it.
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This feels really creepy and icky. I feel like it could point to some like isolating tendencies or him trying to isolate her, especially like playing the part of two different people and like portraying them as friends and like integrating her into the group. it feels like a way to maybe take her away from her support system or, yeah, just try to isolate her. It doesn't seem great.
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And it could stem from an insecurity and, like, not feeling confident enough to be able to be with someone just by himself and feeling like he needs to have outside validation and support and maybe he's not getting it. I think he would benefit from some therapy or counseling just to, like,
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look at this behavior and maybe address this insecurity of feeling like he's not good enough, but not a cool thing to do. I think it is a good idea if OP leaves this relationship. It doesn't feel like it's right for her or for him. And this is not a relationship I would want to save, especially because you could have told these friends things in confidence about your partner or your relationship.
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This man needs to run. And not literally run because he has three children run, but run as in, oh my gosh, this is terrible. And I think we live in a society where we're so used to it being so glaringly obvious when it's a woman in the situation that we can say, you need to run.
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But like the fact that OP is even asking if it's okay if they drive their friend to a medical procedure that they basically need for more than likely their own mental health, honestly, their own physical health and potentially like the wives because if the company is willing to pay for a medical procedure because it increases birth defects and birth issues. Oh my gosh, this is insane.
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The levels of insanity that this is, is just, oh my gosh.
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Wow, this is a wild situation to be at. I don't know just because, and this can be very much because I'm a guy, I think this is an example of being baby trapped. Morgan, this reminds me of the story of that one time that one person was poking holes in a condom. I don't remember if it was the guy or the girl that did that, but it gives me that vibe.
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It gives me, oh, I was taking this and I was taking that, but... Maybe they weren't doing it now. I'm not blaming it on her. I just know that there's been many cases where, you know, both sides have done it. And so this just kind of screams that one of those situations. I was kind of caught off guard when he was just kind of like, it's kind of like his body.
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his choice and she was kind of like, men don't get that. I don't know if that just comes from a place of, you know, because rightfully a lot of choices for women have been made by men. And so I don't know if that was a response in the frustration of that and the situation and everything. This whole thing just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
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And I'm just like, I kind of also with like a little bit with like Gopi, like I don't want to kind of be in this situation because this situation is kind of like, is that one situation where like you're over at your friend's house and your parents screams at your friend and you just look at the wall, you're like, that's a pretty wall. And you're like, can I go home?
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It's kind of, it gives me that kind of vibe. It gives me that like, this is kind of awkward. I don't want to be in the middle of this kind of situation. Yeah, this one's a little trickier, I think.
Two Hot Takes
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It sucks any time I think you have to sneak behind your partner's back, but also I fully understand where he's coming from. I'm a father myself, and I have two, and I couldn't imagine having a third. It'd be tough. I mean, I'd probably make do, but at a certain point, there's only so much you can do. But that being said, I do kind of have a question for him, which is –
Two Hot Takes
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are they using condoms because if the birth control keeps failing and he's aware that he can't have more, he can't support more children, then I would think that he would be doing that as a backup. But if not, I think a little of the blame is also on him, but I do not think that him or his friend would be in the wrong to go and get a vasectomy seeing as how his wife is against it.
Two Hot Takes
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And also the whole, men can't pull them my body my choice i mean i think any person can we're all have control over our own ourselves i mean absolutely i mean when you're in a partnership of course you have to work together with the other person but if the birth control and other things aren't failing you have to find something else if she's not willing I think he has every right to go do that.
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And it just doesn't seem right or okay. And if she leaves him, we're all the better for it.
Two Hot Takes
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They should have more, better communication. And if they can't talk about it, then maybe they shouldn't be together in the first place. And then they always, the compromise is freeze the sperm, get it done now so he doesn't have to worry about it. And then if they want to, they can continue. That's the solution right there.
Two Hot Takes
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In her defense, apparently, I mean, they are obviously not 100%. They're not 100%. Neither is a vasectomy, but, you know.
Two Hot Takes
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It kind of sounds to me, I don't know about you, but it sounds to me like she baby trapped him.
Two Hot Takes
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This man either needs to be in jail or institutionalized because his reality is quite literally not on this planet. However, you know, it is impressive just how steadfast he is in his reality and belief in his reality that he can literally look this girl in the eyes and turn it on her. I just, I am trying to understand one, how does he have that much time? What does he do for work?
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You're telling me that you're starting off with the implant and it failed you. Yeah. And then you did birth control like the next two, like the pill twice. Like. Yeah. No, something is definitely off with this one. Like there. I can't.
Two Hot Takes
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But also not to like shame him or anything, but also, dude, you could have been using condoms.
Two Hot Takes
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yeah so that's kind of on him but whatever yeah i don't like this argument that like men don't have a choice of my body my that's fucking stupid yeah no that's stupid are you kidding me everyone has a freaking right through their own i really hope one of those kids one of those three kids they had is not a boy because then she would be fucking telling her son that bullshit Hell no. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
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It just feels very selfish of the wife to be like, oh, I don't care what you think.
Two Hot Takes
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It's what I want. I might want another one. Why would you want another one? You've had three kids in how many years? Like only a few years? Yeah. This girl, she sounds like she needs some help. DeLulu. DeLulu. She's DeLulu. And I think also if the friend is feeling like, oh, I don't know, should I actually take him? You're not a good friend. You're not a good friend. You're not the wife's friend.
Two Hot Takes
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I understand the friends issue here though. It's like, do I do this? But is it, it seems like he's more of the guy's friend than the girl's friend. And then honestly, it's like, just do it. You know, it's just a drive.
Two Hot Takes
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I just drive him. I don't care. They'd be like, oh, I need to drive somewhere. Cool. And they'd be like, oh, it's for surgery. Like, oh, it's crazy.
Two Hot Takes
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I think tell your wife it's not an option. I'm like, I'm getting a bisectomy, point-and-point period, and have her drive me to the hospital. Like, don't keep secrets from your wife, but at the same time, like, it's not an option. I wouldn't be intimate with her for the entire month and a half in case she is... not taking her birth control or lying about birth control methods.
Two Hot Takes
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But she's not a bad friend for helping him out. He's undergone so much to keep these kids eating and breathing and being alive. So he doesn't want any more kids. He doesn't want any more kids. And that's just the end of it.
Two Hot Takes
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I don't feel bad for her. In all honesty, the guy getting a vasectomy, the husband getting a vasectomy could have just approached the friend and said, hey, I have a favor to ask of you. I really need you to drive me to and from this appointment. I can't get into details. It's personal, but it would really mean a lot. I'm sure a good friend would be like, okay, great. No questions asked.
Two Hot Takes
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I know you need help. I'm here for you. So I don't think that OP should be taking on the weight of is this the right thing to do? You're just driving him there and back. It's his decision to be lying to his wife to go against her wishes. I mean, it is completely his decision to have pursued this and gone through with it. If OP had turned down
Two Hot Takes
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that you know offering to help if he said no you know what i can't drive you i'm sorry i am sure op would have found another friend to have driven him or maybe have gotten an uber or something i don't know but i don't think that op should be like having this way on him top comment i'll get into now okay
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Because I can barely respond to texts, let alone be able to maintain three different social medias and and hide it from someone that I'm dating.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Morgan, I pulled out all my hair listening to that story. All of it? All of it. Every little bit? Every last one. Oh, come on. Pull it out. I did.
Two Hot Takes
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Honestly, I think when it comes down to it, it's about control. Like one of the known signs of an abuser is that they isolate their partner from their friends. And I think this is just like an extreme version of that where he's like, well, if I'm all of her friends, then who's she going to go to but me? And, you know, it's a massive invasion of privacy.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
What the fuck? This is wild. Oh, it's a woman's fucking dub. Bitch!
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
That's crazy, though. Like, this is so expected. Hearing this kind of story is like, oh no, another one.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
No, I wouldn't, I would not be with that kind of person.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Time and experience are the two most valuable things you can ever have. And if your time and your experience is being undermined by your partner, they should not be your partner.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
What your role is, what you should do with your time. No, no. Absolutely not. Split the fucking chores 50-50.
Two Hot Takes
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It's already my way or the highway. Even before he mentions the word housewife, or even before he mentions as a woman, or even before he mentions any of that, those immediate red flags that say, oh, I know who this guy is. Even before all of that, it's just saying, you expect to get your way regardless of how the situation affects anybody else.
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah. I'm just going to say run. I'm just going to say run. Honestly, at this point. OP's wife wants to be able to work. She wants to be able to do things that she's working. She wants to do all these different things. And so this whole thing just draws me the wrong way.
Two Hot Takes
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Just saying that, oh, you should... And also the fact that you should have a house or you should be responsible for having a clean house or whatever that he said. That shit is absolutely wild.
Two Hot Takes
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I'm confused. If he makes triple what she makes, if he really wants her to do these things, can he just not be like, hey, you can be a stay-at-home whatever. I know they don't have kids, right?
Two Hot Takes
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If she's venting to them about him or she's telling them things that he doesn't necessarily want him to know, So my conclusion is that this girl should run and leave this man because this is not normal behavior. I mean, what was he thinking when we got to get to Hawaii?
Two Hot Takes
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They are not ever going to be a team. He's always going to think less than of her. Even if she made what he makes... he would still find a way to manipulate her into believing that it's her job to wait on him hand and foot and take care of his every need while he gets to lay around. It's just, it's really sad to waste your time on someone who you find out that just isn't right for you.
Two Hot Takes
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I know I wasted a lot of time on somebody who, Who wasn't right for me? Like my Nana always said, many hands make light work. So all of my kids have always picked up after themselves. Nobody has just one thing they need to be doing in my house. We all do the things and get all the things done. My husband never did. He never even pitched in. And it's really sad that there are still...
Two Hot Takes
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younger generations coming into adulthood thinking that a woman is made to to be a maid just to pick up after you and to wait on you hand and foot it's not fair and when we meet people like this we need to learn to just walk away i hope that you haven't spent too much time on this man And things will never be fair.
Two Hot Takes
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And I'm sure you're in a financial situation now that you feel like it's hard to get out. But do it before you get married or have kids because it's so much harder. So much harder once you're married. And it's even more hard when you add children to that whole mix. And the level of abuse will grow. Right now it's just him trying to manipulate you into staying married.
Two Hot Takes
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in this little bubble with him and doing everything that he says and not saying, no, I need to rest too. Don't let this be the narrative for the rest of your life. Don't waste any more of your time on this. You can do better. Don't ever sell yourself short. Life is way too short to live like this. I hope that you find your way out and things get better.
Two Hot Takes
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I bet you that he was probably going to fake an emergency, like they can't come anymore because their family member died or something like that. Or he was going to try plan B, where he puts on different hats and pretends to be other friends. Try out his improv skills, maybe.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
And I really feel like you could be taking the right step if you just get out now. Run, run as fast as you can. Just go.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
He doesn't respect her. I don't think he understands that both of them work the same amount.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I don't think he... I think he correlates... The amount or the importance of his work more than hers, because he makes more money.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Yeah. It seems like it's important for him to have a clean home. Then he should have the clean, then he should clean.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
He has the woman that does it for him. So he got that checked.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Yeah, I mean, this is not actually about dividing the cleaning between them. I mean, if it was that, I think there would be so many solutions from hiring someone to do the cleaning to making a schedule to, like, whatever.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
There are so many solutions, but this isn't actually about it. It's like you're saying, he doesn't respect her. And he also has a worldview... that she obviously doesn't agree with. And that's really, in my opinion, so outdated.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
This last story made me so mad. It's unbelievable. I can't grasp. You guys are partners. I don't think the 50-50 thing, unless you literally both make $100,000. That's a lot of money. Both make $100,000 a year and both work there 40 hours a week.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
that's like a 50-50 draw like then you can do that but until then like that that's not how that works that's not how life works if you bring in more money that does not mean that you are not able to do chores he sounds like a man child all right he sounds like he can't do anything for himself because that's unbelievable that's just unacceptable behavior from anyone
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Listening to this, I was like, could I have written this? Like, did I write this? Because... literally did this to me oh i don't know oh well again my name's blur that out except it was with an ex-girlfriend and she was like crazy or whatever and crazy if they say crazy they're lying
Two Hot Takes
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I don't care how much money you bring in. You are not excluded from doing housework at all, ever. Because how much vacuuming, cleaning, making dinner, doing all these things is so much work. It's a second job. That is her second job. So if she had to get another job to go 50-50 on rent, she'd be doing three jobs.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
This is a man that if you ever have children of him will say, it's your duty to raise the children. You have to clean after them. You have to also work. You have to, there's no way you'll be able to juggle that in the future.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Children are your responsibility. Like I am the man of the household. I'm providing a roof over your heads.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Which he's not even providing an actual full roof because he's not paying electricity. No, he's not probably paying internet. He's not providing food. You're not providing a home. Well, you're providing the shelter. That's it. She can't live off of just the shelter. She needs the water. She needs the food. She's providing that.
Two Hot Takes
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I hate this for OP. I really do. I think she deserves better. What kind of control relationship does he want on her? They should be dividing the household chores 50-50. I mean, they both work 40 hours a week. And... it doesn't seem fair that she has to also come home and do all the cleaning and cooking and everything because she doesn't pay some of the bills.
Two Hot Takes
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Like she can pay the bills she can afford. And with whatever money they have left over, if he doesn't want to clean, hire a cleaner or something. Why doesn't he want to clean up after himself? Like what expectation does, Does he have in his head that he deserves to just come home and have everything set up nice and neat for him?
Two Hot Takes
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Yeah, so this guy's a piece of work. He's clearly sexist. He's financially abusing her. I mean, could be just downright abuse as well. I'm not sure. Hopefully he's not cutting her off from family and friends and she has someone to turn to or go to to get out. but it doesn't even sound like he's treating her like a partner or a girlfriend.
Two Hot Takes
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It sounds more like, you know, a narcissistic roommate or, or parent or something like they only care about what they're getting out of the relationship and not making sure that it's be cool or fair or that the other person's even happy. I feel bad for OP and I hope she can get out. I hope that, you know, he's not gonna make it tough or impossible. I'm, I'm not sure how, uh,
Two Hot Takes
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She stands with friends or anything. But no, I think Opie should get out. Definitely. This guy is not the right one. Definitely. I think she could definitely find a better guy.
Two Hot Takes
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We started dating like right after they broke up and this Ashley girl ex was, you know, still feeding for him or whatever. She added me and she would like harass me on Instagram. It was the whole time it was him?
Two Hot Takes
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That's crazy. What if it's him? It's her ex. This story triggered me so much because I was like, is this my ex? It was genuinely insane. But it was like he just wanted to test boundaries and see like how far I would believe him and stuff.
Two Hot Takes
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And so he just made up this entire girl's profile. And then like all of a sudden one day text me back and it was like on her profile. I was like, haha, bitch, you thought. I think she needs to leave him because I think if he's lying about that, I think he's lying about a million other things in her life. Yeah, you can't trust him after that. And you never know.
Two Hot Takes
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You never know what he's lying about. Like, oh, what's in this food? Or what my job is? Or, like, so many different things to create friends like that is, like, insane. It is insane. That's insane behavior.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I definitely agree with the top comments. One, it's weird, but it definitely feels very controlling and manipulative in a way that is...
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I feel like I didn't touch on the fact that he was trying to gaslight her. Yeah, no, that is wild. He's extremely immature and sounds very manipulative. Girl, please run.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
Yeah, I didn't even think about the fact that he was manipulating even before they got together. Like, when they were still friends, how he would, like, hype himself up on behalf of himself is really, really scary.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I think there is something mentally wrong with him. Like, he just wanted control. I wouldn't say control. I would say more like he wanted to be her everything, maybe. Just like, I want to be all your friends. I want to be the one you confide to. I want to be the one you're telling all your secrets to.
Two Hot Takes
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So, like, let me let you get close to this person who you think is your friend and see what you say, like... Are you saying things to them that you wouldn't say to me and like be all knowing? And then just the gaslighting at the end of like just turning it around and making her seem like she's insane. Like that was crazy.
Two Hot Takes
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We need to put like alerts out on guys like this because God forbid he ends up with someone else in the future and does the same thing and it gets worse.
Two Hot Takes
200: EPISODE 200! Your Time to Shine..
I have the same thought about the gaslighting. he's getting defensive because she found out your secret and now you're gaslighting her into thinking it's her fault and she's being dramatic, I would be just as mad as she is because you literally lied to me and catfished me for two and a half years about who your friends are. Makes me wonder, does he have any other friends?
Two Hot Takes
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Are these the only people he introduced her to? And did she pay money for these people to go to Hawaii? Or was he paying for their tickets Or whatever, just so that she could see that there was tickets, but then not going to have them show up or something. I know the whole thing's really fishy and huge red flags that he is turning it around on her.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
and do you know what i have to say to that i would love to know what you have to say to that because i've been there yeah get the nursery organized wash the clothes ahead of time because you need that foundation because spontaneity is about to rain hellfire oh i like that if we're gonna go to benson boone tonight you're not allowed to complain about he hit his head i have a concussion he has a concussion the only reason i'll agree to go to benson boone tonight is because your birthday is tomorrow and i have to make your chocolate cake when i get up in the morning so i'm busy and i don't there will be no hangover i'm not drinking
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Text her again.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's why I really don't think Benson Boone's a good idea for real.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No, it's not.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Other side. Only you.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, stop it. It's not. It's a zit. But I do think we could put something on it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No, you're just going to let it go.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, you did send me something about skin. And what was that?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Kill, or get, you have to pick the spider. I'm like, we cannot record. It's a dead spider, but like, what on earth? The problem is that spider was in the house.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And what was it?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Quick pause.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I can't believe you heard what I said about structure and spontaneity.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, there's a skincare brand that treats acne but could cause cancer.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And gut health. Which is tied to diet. Yes, yes. The cleaner I eat, the cleaner my skin is. No question. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, it does not discriminate. All right, let's go into things we DMed each other.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay, so you DMed me about this baby co-op. But what you DMed me was a screenshot of people commenting on our nanny share saying they are members of a baby co-op, like a babysitter co-op.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Right, which we're doing tonight, but you're trying to derail that. And I think if you want to derail that, that's fine, but you have to pay for the sitter for both of them.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
They'll love it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
What time do you think we have to do all this?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No, but it's 2.41. What about the babies?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I texted Harrison. I cannot... Is it bear this cross by myself? Because what does Alex want to do? Alex wants to stay home tonight and walk both of the babies.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I'm not super incentivized to find this babysitter. Although I did text my new fave babysitter.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
She hasn't yet. I have, I love, her name's Olivia.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I just checked. And what did I say though about our phones? They were not going to derail this pod.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay. So basically the babysitter co-op. So there's this thing called a co-op. that people are a member of. And if you Google it, it pops up like AI even knows about it. Basically, you get points for babysitting other people's kids in the co-op and you spin points when you have your kid babysat. And I think it's a really cool thing because it holds everybody accountable.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Why?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I don't like keeping score in that regard, but what if you added in five other families? Dog parents listen up. So I don't have a dog, but Julie has a dog, and the dog's name is Jenny, and she loves Jenny as much as I love Tate, which is a lot, and she brings Jenny over here during the day. Now here's the thing. Jenny's life has changed because of Ollie dog food. Before Ollie...
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Julie was making Jenny's food from scratch, but Jenny is allergic to chicken. And so Julie would make her all of these foods with like beef and what was the other thing? Turkey. And now she uses Ollie dog food and Ollie dog food because it's Julie's favorite is now a sponsor on this podcast. And it's like a full circle moment. And it's the best thing ever.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And Julie can go on to Ollie and she can specialize depending on the diet. So she gets no chicken. So she gets the beef and she gets the turkey. And Jenny absolutely loves it. And guess what? Julie saves hours a week. She no longer has to say, I got to go home and make Jenny's food.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So all you have to do is you fill out Ollie's 30 second quiz and they'll create a customized meal plan based on your pup's weight, activity level, and other health info. Ollie crunches the numbers and recommends the right recipes and daily portions for your precious little pup based on hundreds of thousands of real dog results.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Ollie is the only fresh dog food that comes with unlimited routine health screenings. So you can get your pup on track to living their healthiest, happiest life. You guys, I know you love your pups. I want a pup. So this Ollie dog food is really the best thing that you can get them. And dogs deserve the best. And that means fresh, healthy food.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
There's nothing I hate worse. Sorry, I just sounded so loud. It was a real scream. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Head to Ollie.com slash two parents and tell them all about your dog and use code two parents to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a clean bowl guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's ollie.com slash two parents and enter code two parents to get 60% off your first box.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Totally agree.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I agree.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I agree. But I would rather babysit their baby than them babysit Tate. Because when they're babysitting Tate, I feel like I owe them something. But when I'm babysitting theirs, I would love to do it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, you did the intro today. We'll just leave that in. I'm in fight or flight mode now, so I need to calm down, calm my senses down.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I know. I'm just not there. I wonder what that is, though, about us as people.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, and when I have their baby, I'm like, please be gone until midnight. Like, oh, I just love holding them.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, that's very true.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
OK, so what I DMG was my friends abandoning me when they had kids. It was this article that I read. And the theme of it was it was this girl and she had written in and she was talking about how she has a really hard time being around her friends who have kids now because they don't have a lot of time for her. And how when they like she's the last person in the circle.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Do you know how to calm your senses down? Something you see. Okay, I see bricks. Something you smell. Fresh air. Oh, I'm just like imagining a spider. Something you hear. My voice. And it's very still in here. You do your five senses. I've forgotten. Taste. I do have a bit of like a burnt taste in my mouth. All right, ready? Yeah, let's go.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
that gets asked, how are you? And when she does get asked, how are you? It's just like, how, how's dating going or how's work going? And so she feels really like left behind. And so she, she doesn't want to resent her friends.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So she's writing in on the article, asking how she can handle it because she knows in 10 years when she does have kids that these friends are going to be who she goes to for advice. But right now it feels like a very lopsided relationship. And do you know what I have to say to that?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Because I've been there.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I think it's a very real thing and she will circle back to those friends. But right now it's okay for her to go make more friends, new friends that are on her same page right now. So she can show up and she can talk to them about things, you know, that's more applicable because when you're a mom, now that I'm on this side of it, you're never fully present. You're always chasing a diaper.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You know, you're holding the baby. Like it is hard. And so I think, I think what she's saying is very valid.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, you already entered us, so technically we're rolling.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I start my day with two things. One, meditation and two, journaling. And I have used the Calm app since COVID. And so when I found out Calm was sponsoring this podcast, I was very excited to say the least. And Jay Shetty agrees with me because he's always talking about the Calm app The Calm app is the number one app for sleep and meditation, giving you the power to calm your mind
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
and change your life. There is a lot happening these days, you guys, whether it's work, whether it's friends, whether it's parenting, whatever it is, when I sit down and I get calm and I truly get in touch with my inner self and I put my phone away and I meditate, I feel like the best version of myself and I untangle so many things that are going on inside of me and it is the best feeling ever.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I just would like to start by saying Harrison is calling me boring because I can't like up. It's 2.30 p.m. And we got invited to the Benson Boone concert tonight. And we were supposed to babysit the neighbor's baby. Okay. And Harrison, we're repaying them for babysitting our baby. And Harrison's just calling me boring. Like I'm supposed to be able just to reroute my night that fast.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's why a lot of successful people, they always say one thing they have in common is they meditate. Just ask Tony Robbins. Everyone faces unique challenges in their daily lives, and mental health isn't about a cookie-cutter approach.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's why Calm offers a wide range of content and programs to help you navigate life's ups and downs, including meditation, sleep stories, and sleep meditation, grounding exercises, and expert-led talks to help you handle grief, improve self-esteem, care for relationships, and more. Calm puts the tools that you need right in front of you and in your pocket.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You guys, it really is the best app ever. So stress less and sleep more and live better with Calm. For listeners of our show, Calm is offering an exclusive offer of 40% off a Calm premium subscription at calm.com slash 2parents. Go to calm.com slash 2parents for 40% off and unlimited access to Calm's entire library. That's calm.com slash two parents. Yeah.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
There's people I didn't talk to for a very long time that have babies that now I talk to once a week, twice a week. And it's just because like, you know, there's a girl I went to college with and our babies are a week apart and we lost touch for a very long time. Like we still followed each other on Instagram.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Like I would keep up with her there, but now it's like, we'll text, we'll DM all the time. And so these people, they can come back, but I think it's very much okay for her, for this single girl that wrote in. To be like, yeah, my season of life is different right now. I still love my friends. Maybe you see them once a month for a dinner and you go over and you see the babies.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But then you go off with the friends that are on your timeline. Totally. This kind of segues really nicely into our first listener question. So let's just do that right now. OK, because this one, it has to do with being a good friend to people with kids.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Hello, not a parent here, not a soon to be parent, but I have friends with a bunch of kids and I'm just wondering when they're struggling in parenting ever. areas like sleeping not getting support from their partner trying to figure out their new life with a newborn how can i be a supportive friend okay migo i feel like you and i want very different things here okay
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So what I want, not, it's not like what I want here, but what I found to be like the best with friends like this during this phase of my life is friends that take nothing personally. Because there has been times where I am supposed to go to a yoga class with a friend and 20 minutes before I just cancel. And so my friends that are just like, it doesn't matter.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Like we totally understand you have so much on your plate. Like that is my girl right now.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Um, I also think though it's nice when they're down to just come and like sit in sweatpants too. And like kind of, we've done it with some of our friends, but we'll have like a wine night over here on a Friday night where we can put Tate to bed and like still kind of hang out and they just like make themselves at home. Like that kind of friend is a really big place right now.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No, no, no. I'm not being Debbie Downer. I just... We got stuff to do. Like, I want to go. Listen, I love being spontaneous.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So this is something I'm so glad you brought this up because I never cared and I never went to meet anybody's baby, nor do I need anybody to come meet my baby at all whatsoever. But I do find a lot of people will ask me, how is she sleeping? Oh, is she teething yet? And I I can't imagine that they care, but I actually think they do. And a lot of them have nieces or nephews.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Like a lot of people are way more maternal or paternal than we were. And I do think that's a real thing. I know it's... I've thought about this a lot though, Harrison. I know it's impossible for us to understand because we weren't this way.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So I agree with that, but this person to write in to ask this, they genuinely care.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But this girl's asking like, how can I show up for my friend's best? I'm saying, I think be understanding and that's good enough for me. And you're saying like, if you don't actually care, you don't need to pretend to care because also you really don't. I do agree.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But I, yeah, I do.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. Pietro called that.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
In the weather.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Miles Smith.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, I love that. I love that he said that. Yeah. He called it right out. You guys know I love Quince. I will not stop talking about it. I'm packing for Aspen next week. And what am I taking? My cashmere black sweater. That is my number one staple. I am so obsessed with you guys. Quince offers a range of high quality items. at prices within reach. I'm serious.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Like, this is real cashmere, and it is a fraction of the price than those overpriced cashmere sweaters. This quality is the exact same, and I'm going to tell you how they do it. So, Quince offers a wide range of high-quality items within reach, like 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50 worldwide. Washable silk tops and dresses, organic cotton sweaters and 14 karat gold jewelry.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
The best the best part of it all. Quince items are priced at 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands. How do they do it? They partner directly with top factories. So Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman. and passes on the savings to you and I. It is seriously the best.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I cannot stop raving about this black sweater that I have because I have some expensive cashmere sweaters too, and Quince is the exact same. So give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash alex. for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Alex to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash Alex.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You love a concert. So... Okay, let's start by recapping. I'm excited about this episode. We've got a lot of good things on the docket.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, you have a concussion.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
It's very hard to make people laugh when you're firing on one cylinder.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Maybe you should do a follow-up text. Hey, man.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Just wanted to let you know. Yeah. I don't remember our talk. Yeah.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's good.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Did he have kids?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. You were like, I have nothing more to say here.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, you found your commonality.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay, let's do the second listener voicemail.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, but I want to say one more thing, actually.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Because on the note of if their partners, she said in this voicemail, if their partners don't support them.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And do you know one thing that I've noticed around us hanging out with couples that have kids?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
When one of them is not in the room, I really admire the couples that talk kindly about their partner.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So busy. We were at Expo West, which we're not going to take you down memory lane on Expo West, but one thing I do want to talk about is Harrison launched a new product called Baconic, and I tried it. It's freaking good. It's basically a barbecue. There's two. There's a barbecue sauce with bacon bits in it. It's good. And then there's a spicy one that's spicy.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I think that that is – because it goes to when your kids can listen to and understand what you're saying. Talking positive about when you're out of the room, me saying like, you have the best dad or your dad works so hard. Positive reinforcement like that I think gives them confidence too.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
To the partner?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
It's collab post energy.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yes.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
It's Valentine's Day long scrolling captions. Like, we got it. Something's not adding up there. But instead of them being like, no, she's just a kick-ass mom. It's like, pop off, dude. Because he has a lot of confidence to say that about her.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's what I think.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I think that... And I think that how... Let me ask you this. If one of your very best friends left the room and his wife like said something negative about him, how would that make you feel?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But you wouldn't like tell him?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, it's your best friend.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay, yeah, I'm not – like sure, yeah, I guess insert anybody there.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But she's not going to do that. That's not a good example.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, I mean that's never going to happen. But I'm more so talking about the scenario, not your friends necessarily. I'm talking about friends in general. Like don't think of like a specific friend of yours. Think about the concept. You can put it – you can think about my friends. How about that? Do you think I should tell my friends?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So if one of your friends left the room and their partner said something bad about them, you would tell your friend?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
This is why I'm trying not to make it about your friends. Well, neither have I. Shout out my friends. Partners. Well, so I actually don't have an example of this either. But wait, no, I do. But I'm not like super.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, I'm thinking about it for the first time now. I have no idea. This is real life. I'm developing this thought right now.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, I also think though, I think proximity is important, right? So when we're around couples that are like really positive to each other, I love that kind of energy for us. Like that's what I want to be around. I want Tate around that.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Me?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Me?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's what it's called, a hot sauce. And it's hot.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Wait, what?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So here's my question that I've been refraining from asking.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And so I have a journal dedicated to this and I very much. So I'm like always reflecting on the way people make me feel because one thing I learned five, six years ago when the first time, whenever I moved out of Oklahoma to orange County, Katie beach, every time I left her, I felt so good about myself. So uplifted.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And she would always say to me, don't dim your light, never dim your light to make somebody else shine brighter. Like Alex stopped dimming your light. And I just thought, I love this girl ever since. And I've really taken with me, like, How do people make you feel? And how, and then how are you making other people feel?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
It's not an ad because you can't buy it yet. Can you buy a Baconic right now?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Because sometimes I think you can show up and let your guard down and like gossip with people and then walk away and be like, why did I partake in that conversation? And it's just like, you have to showing up with your best foot forwards really hard, but like holding yourself accountable to it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah, and then thinking about how people make you feel. Yeah, it's very important. Okay, we really just got off on that tangent. But all right, let's do the second voice note. And this one's new parent advice oriented.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Okay. So this is not an ad.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
We're not promoting Baconic. I am just telling you objectively speaking that it tastes good and I am proud of you.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
How about that?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I mean, no kidding. Okay. A first time dad, a little boy on Christmas. That's so cute.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I've got mine. What's yours?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Mine is get organized.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Because like, and we've been talking about a lot this episode, maybe it's the title, but structure is,
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
you're gonna need to lay you're gonna need to get it like get the nursery organized wash the clothes ahead of time because you need that foundation because spontaneity is about the rain hellfire and like our house i'm watching it like slowly like our i wish i had our clothes more organized before she came because everything goes on the back burner because you're prioritizing sleep you need the bottles washed before they come like get everything in order
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You're welcome. So where are you going to sell it though? How does this stuff work? Like there was Bloom launched their pops. Like I felt like a lot of new products launched while we were there. So A is Expo West like a time people launch things.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Install that car seat, like get her done.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And advice you would give to an upcoming parent.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You were unbelievable. But what I like about this is Nick is a guy. And he's voice noted in asking us this question. So like, this is a guy who I love because he's already asking the questions. And Nick, this is, you had the best answer. It's get ready to really support her because you, you, I don't even think you knew you were doing it, but like you were my lifeline. She's going to be in diapers.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
She's also going to be, there's hormones that come with it. Sleep deprived, whether or not she's breastfeeding or not. Like there is so much that comes with it. And I do love that he, because a lot of girls wrote into it and they asked first time advice, right? And this advice is applicable to everyone, but we picked him because like, I love that he's a dad that asked.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Shout out Nick.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Um, that's the, that's a great point. Yeah. Get ready for her too. Mom. Cause it's hard on mom.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh yeah.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, maybe we don't accept Canadian callers.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Julie.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Good old Jules.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. Julie and Ginny and Paris. All right. Let's move on to brain break.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
The one and only. Fire Festival 2.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So I did some Googling.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So May 30th to June 2nd, 2025 is Fyre Festival 2.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
May 30th, yeah. And there are three levels of tickets.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
General admission, what's it cost?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Well, I'm asking you to guess.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
$5,000,000. Okay. Bull market? Artist access? $18,950,000. 25 grand.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So you get there and then you can book your accommodations. I did notice on the website, which the website took very long to load, which was odd, but on the website, the like number one hotel package is already sold out, which I found interesting because what you told me was that the, that the locals on the Island have no idea about.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I saw a video of a guy that went to the first one, and he was like, I'm going again. And she was like, we're kind of tight on budget. Why are you doing this? He's like, I got to go. They were stranded over there. Stranded. They couldn't figure out how to get home. What was that one guy? What did he say for water? What would he do for water? What was that clip?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
What was it? He said he would give him a blowjob for water?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Now let me ask you a question.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
What would you do for water?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
For water?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
What if you had Tate and she needed Milky and somebody had Milky?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Would you do it for Milky?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
No, did you?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And they never got paid?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's actually very shocking because I, even if, even if there was smoke, I wouldn't be like, there's fire here.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And they're like, there's fire and we're going, oh, that must've been bad. Cause it would take a lot for me to be like this. Like the bank going to Coachella, you think fire festivals, like the next big thing, the amount of promo they had around it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Um, the other thing though, so people that he still owes money to. Okay. Right.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But if he does fire festival too, is he allowed to make a profit or does he have to pay all this?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yes. With fire festival too.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Now I do want to go because I want those people to get paid from Fire Festival 1 that got screwed.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
which I've been very good about lately. Yep, Harrison's firing on no cylinders.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
All right. Well, you guys. Write us in, or not write us in, but if we do voicemails again, I guess we don't know. I'll put it up on my story. I kind of like when you write them in. Harrison kind of likes when you call them in, so we'll see what we do next week. But I'll let you know on my Instagram story, and we love you guys. Happy birthday, H, and we'll see you guys next week.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
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Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And one thing that you said that I thought was interesting is that they're starting to do a lot of inside innovation because capital is strained now. Can you explain that? So like current brands are starting to make more products, but you're not seeing new emerging brands.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Like you, you're an existing brand. You just launched Baconics.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Oh, good idea.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I'm excited about Baconic. I think it's a really good product. So you just had a birthday. Happy birthday.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Correct. But when this comes out, it was yesterday. Okay. I'm not a birthday guy, so... We're going to glaze right over it. But I did think it was funny. You know, you've been on this earth for X amount of years. And what's your largest achievement yet? What did somebody say?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
The only reason I will go to Ben's and Boone is because your birthday's tomorrow. But tomorrow I must get up and I'm going to make your chocolate molten cake.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Tater's dad. Now the internet though, we made a TikTok and I didn't read the captions and you call her Bubbers, but it generated Harper. And so people are like, oh, her name is really Harper. And it's like, no, I didn't get stuff monogrammed with Tate to really have her name be Harper.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
What?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Harper. That was it. Wanted to name her Harper. So if some people are saying her name really is Harper.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Nay-nay, because when she's hungry, I don't know if people know this, but there are certain types of cries that will give you hints as to what's wrong. And when she cries, she goes, nay, nay. She's hungry, so I call her nay-nays. And now we say, are you nay-ers? Or are you leapers, which means sleepy?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Code words?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Leapers.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Nay-nay.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And her. It's also her name. Susu.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I did a poll. Like literally no one uses that.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. People call it passy.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Milky for milk. You got your car in the car. That's her car seat.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. Die die. Diaper.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But I think that's.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
We always say, yeah, okay. Well, we will. I had a blast with her at Expo West, by the way. We had like a girl's night. It was so much fun. It was just her and I in the hotel room. And we really like, oh, do you know one thing I would love to talk about?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I'll be in good spirits. We have to get stuff done first. structure is the foundation for spontaneity that's how I love to live my life structure first though beds need to be made podcasts need to be recorded and then we can go to bins and boon okay but I probably have a request that you do not make the chocolate molten lava cake
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
So she's six months old on Monday, and that's when I'm supposed to stop pumping. And I don't know about you, but if you could see what's going on inside my head right now, I'm very upset. Like I've loathed pumping, right? It's like been very mentally hard on me. I am distraught that the time has come.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Additionally, I don't even know if I'm going to stop pumping because I know the hormone crash is going to be like so wild.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I don't have a game plan. I'm just trying to talk to you about it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Apparently you wean off, like you slow down the production. So your boobs, like when you, my God, last night we were going to Megan Maroney and I, I sent you a photo, but I was with my friends and one of them was like, Alex, you kind of lactated a little. And I was just like, Oh, thank God I had a jacket.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But my, you, so your male, your boobs produce more when you tell it, you need more, which is like more pumping. So less pumping tells it to slow the supply.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
All I know is on her six-month birthday, I want to give her solids. I want to give her an avocado.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
That's not enough of a reduction for me. We need to get to, I can do. So like, because here's the question. Are we going to move her to formula on Monday? Well, no, because I'll still be pumping. Like I'll have to wean down or I'm kind of thinking I keep going. I don't, I don't know. I just have this really, I have a, like a, like a sentimental attachment to it.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
B I'm very scared of the hormone dip. Cause like, I feel like I just leveled out last month.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You'd be proud of me if I chose to formula feed from right out of the gates.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
You were proud of me when I birthed that baby because I don't think you thought I was going to get to that point.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
we can buy some more in the gray market the gray market basically guys we're gonna keep you like this time is approaching on it i don't think any big moves are gonna be made anytime soon is what my gut says we're going to aspen next week for a wedding so i kind of think nothing will change but we'll see all righty don't you agree yeah the update is it's on my mind but like there is no update yeah we're equipped to go with whatever whatever direction you choose
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I was thinking about having the neighbors make it because I thought it would be better.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Speaking of directions, the house is another thing that's approaching. Let's do a house update.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
And we're taking advantage of that. The box graveyard in the backyard, it's so back.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Yeah. And oh, my gosh, I am just like avoiding that at all costs. Let's talk about neutrophil because you guys, my hair postpartum has been thinning and I've been experiencing breakage, which causes like these flies everywhere. But don't worry, Nutrafol is here to help us.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
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Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
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Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
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Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I've been rereading the recipe like twice a day just to like really get it under wraps.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
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Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
The timing is getting close. I do just have like a lot. I just know it's going to work out. Call me crazy, but I do have peace in that. Do you?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Not even close.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
I haven't tried it yet. I ordered the ingredients though. So I've been staring at it. It's top of mind. Okay. Okay, let's do this. Ready? I just need to know, was that a spider? Is it a dead spider?
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Location, location, location. And Harrison went to tour a house. I wasn't with you, but he got a gnarly injury from it that ironically went away when we got invited to Benson Boone.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
But here's the thing. If we're going to go to Benson Boone tonight, you're not allowed to complain about it. He hit his head.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
He has a concussion.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
Which I knew you had a concussion. And that's why, guys, I'm waking up in the middle of the night to make sure he's okay. And I checked his eyes. They're not dilated.
Two Parents & A Podcast
Can friendships survive kids?! (+ supporting your partner & living a more spontaneous life)
He texted the realtor asking her to put a sign up so somebody else doesn't do it and she ghosted him.
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