On today’s episode, we hear about: · A man hoping to reconcile his marriage before divorce is official · A mother struggling with feelings of disappointment following a gender reveal · A wife seeking advice on how to process a traumatic event Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at BON CHARGE. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Listen to More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy https://www.ramseysolutions.com/company/policies/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How can I reconcile with my wife after revealing my gambling addiction?
How can I reconcile with my wife? After revealing my gambling addiction, I revealed how much money I lost, which was a six-figure amount. It was pretty much as a volcano ready to erupt as, you know, with addictions. The last year or so was just absolute hell.
I mean, it sounds like for a year, and I'm going to be out of line here. You may be through with the past, but the past is not through with you. What up? What's going on? It's 2025. Welcome back to the Dr. John Deloney Show. I'm John. I'm a dad. I'm a husband. I'm trying to figure it out right alongside each and every one of you. Some of you aren't dads. Some of you are moms.
Some of you are just brothers, sisters, just dudes. Some of you are Ben. The guy, I don't know. Ben, you just look like an awesome guy making it happen. Thanks. And can we shout out Sarah, the editor of the show? Had the first case of natural triplets I've ever heard of. She had them, and I say natural, like she just didn't have IVF.
Right. She got pregnant. There was no medication or any kind of.
You're going to have three. Yeah. But I think what's important to call out is she had all three babies on my birthday, which I think shows incredible team dedication.
And one of them is named Benjamin.
After me, obviously. She didn't, I didn't even check. She didn't go with a John?
No, there's no John.
How does that make you feel?
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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of being a stay-at-home parent?
My original question, yes. How can I reconcile with my wife?
Bro, she's divorced you. You're the tail end of a proceeding.
We're the tail end of a proceeding, yes.
So it's, I mean, it sounds like for a year, and man, I hate to link these, okay? And I can be out of line here. Sure, go ahead, please. But one of the telltale signs of someone who is falling off a cliff into gambling addiction is an inability to recognize a loss in progress. And I feel like you're experiencing this in real time.
I mean, do you have any indication on planet Earth at all that your wife is doing anything other than progressing at a somewhat rapid clip these days with how long divorces take for a settlement hearing? One calendar year? That's not super slow. No. No.
So, man, it feels like you're spending a lot of energy trying to figure out how to solve this thing, and the thing has a period at the end of it as far as she's concerned, as far as her attorney, as far as your attorney. I mean, everybody's got a period at the end of it but you, and it sounds like you're not living in that reality yet. Am I off?
Kind of. I mean, I will say I have experience. I mean, the year 2024 was obviously a challenging year, but a good year in the sense that I did experience a lot of character change, you know, by going to, you know, I attend three or four meetings per week. It's amazing. I'm super proud of you, by the way.
That's awesome.
It's awesome. And I got a sponsor a few months ago. I read literature. I'm a more present dad than I was before where I'd like, Not pay attention to my kids. I'd be on my phone looking at, you know, sports stats or things like that. Income's gone up by 32%. Debt's gone down. I've been, my wife and I, we do work well together with the finances, with the house, with the kids, with the education.
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Chapter 3: How to cope with disappointment in family planning?
Sure. So let's do this. Let's do this. You have an amazing husband. Do you have girlfriends?
A couple.
Okay. I want that to be the chief focus of the next two to three months for you. getting other women in your life that you can text, call, talk to, chit-chat with, whatever. Okay?
Yeah.
And I want you to honor them. We rob people when we don't ask for help because it's one of the greatest gifts in the world we can receive is when somebody says, hey, can you help me? That's a great gift. Not so great when they ask you to help them move, but any other requests? I want you to find a couple of women that you say, hey, I'm going to text you. Crazy hours of the night.
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Chapter 4: What steps can I take to address my feelings about having a third daughter?
I hear you. This is my hesitation towards what you're asking me. And there's other people that probably are in the same shoe that need to hear your answer. I psychologically have been through a battlefield in the last year. If I were to ask for support from friends in that way, what ends up happening is the minefield that I open up chases people away because it's just too heavy.
Yeah, but hold on. Yeah, your friends aren't to throw grenades to. Okay.
It's chased a few people away that were my support, because the friendship landscape has changed recently.
It has changed, but did your burdens chase people away? The things that you're challenged with chased them away? Or was it your lack of willingness to go head into these challenges, to go meet with a therapist, to go meet with a doctor?
The burden, yeah.
You get what I'm saying?
I do, because I was doing those things that you're saying, and I was... reaching out in these friendships. And so now I'm at this weird place where I have to be very trepidatious about what I share.
That's not true, that's not true, but you have to be willing to deal with it when it gets heavy. Here's what I mean.
Okay.
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Chapter 5: How can I support my mental health during pregnancy?
I'm with you. I'm with you.
I want you to go. I'm doing everything I can, but my life can only, you know, if it just doesn't exist, it doesn't exist.
I got you. But here's what I want you to do. I want you to sit with your counselor and I want you to tell your therapist that I had some friendships that I blew up over the last year. That they didn't seem able to hold my friendship. The needs I have. And I want to work on that. I need to find out. I need to parse through with you. And should help me look at this from a different angle. Was it me?
Was it my friends? Was it... Was I not doing... Like, what was it? Because maybe your friends are jerks. They're like, I don't deal with your drama. And they left. Fine. Let them go. Or... It was, man, we keep wanting to walk alongside you, but you're not willing to take another step. You just want to dump your trash in our yard, and we're not going to do that.
But talk with your counselor about it. Work through those things individually. Work through them. I think that's fantastic. And I guess, yeah, it is so easy for me on this side of this to say that. I know that. But when I know I've experienced something once and I've experienced something twice... Maybe it's a personality thing. I don't want to just give in to the inevitability.
Then I'll do it all different next time. I'm going to do all of it different next time. Just see. Because I already know what's going to happen here. Maybe I can get lucky with the other side of it. And that's not an indictment on you not doing any work. I know you've been working your butt off for the last year. Millions and millions and millions and millions of people have been working so hard.
But sometimes it's just a realization. All right, that way didn't work. That way is not working. So I'm going to try this way. And you have an amazing husband, which is awesome. And there's going to come a moment when you guys continue to lean in. Here's your two letters. I want both of you and your husband to write a letter to this little boy. You'll have a name. You had it picked out.
And cheer this little boy on wherever this little boy happens to be in the cosmos. And then I want you to write a letter to this little girl. your new baby that's coming, how much you're going to love her, what kind of life she's going to have, how amazing her child is going to be. And begin to prep yourselves for going to be super girl dads, super girl moms, girls everywhere in the house.
And when that baby's born, she's going to be ready to rock and roll into a house that cannot wait for her to be there. But right now, it's okay to be sad. She's got to be bummed out. The picture was different. Thanks for the call. Call anytime. We'll be right back. All right. So I've done some soul searching recently, and I've come to the realization that I actually love the internet.
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Chapter 6: What are the signs of postpartum depression?
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So go to join delete me.com slash Deloney today and get 20% off. That's J O I N join delete me.com slash Deloney. All right, we are back. Check this out. Big announcement. Money and marriage getaway. My favorite event that I'm a part of is happening again this fall with me and Rachel Cruz. Every marriage needs intentional time away to disconnect from life's busyness, to reconnect.
Talk about sex, intimacy, communication, fighting, all of it. I think, I'm kind of biased, it's the best marriage conference on the planet. You're not going to come to Nashville. You and your spouse are going to come for three days of laughter, hard conversations, some tears, intentional time together, and lots of practical teaching. And we set this thing up.
We limit the number of people who can come. We could sell a jillion tickets and just... I don't know, download all this and do this. That's not the point of this thing. We want everyone to get every question they have answered. So there's tons of access to me and Rachel Cruz. Lots of times for questions and answers. Early bird tickets start at $749.
Every time we launch this event, tickets sell out ASAP. So you got to hurry. November 6th through 8th. 2025, November 6th through 8th, 2025, 749 bucks. That's for the whole couple. All you gotta do is get yourself to Nashville. You're gonna stay here for a couple of nights and we let you go Saturday at noon ish in the afternoon.
So then you can go hang out in downtown Nashville together, make it a long weekend. November 6th through 8th. Get your tickets at ramseysolutions.com slash events or click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. These will sell out. They always do. Get them ASAP. All right, let's go to Tucson, Arizona and talk to McCall. What's up, McCall?
Hi, Dr. John. I feel so grateful to be talking to you today. I feel grateful to talk to you.
What's up?
I am calling because... I cannot seem to move past the anxiety I feel after witnessing, uh, my neighbor, uh, take his own life.
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Chapter 7: How do I navigate feelings of grief related to family expectations?
but there's a visceral reality when you hear it, when you start using your senses, when you see it, and they burn themselves into your mind and body because your body has a protective mechanism. It doesn't want that to ever happen to you. So it puts a GPS pin in that. See, don't ever let that happen. And for you, that was your home. That was your neighbor.
Yeah, yeah.
And so it electrifies the skin you live in. Right? It's not like it happened in an alley and so you don't go to dark alleys anymore. It happened at a relative's house. You don't go to that relative's house. This happened in your yard.
Yeah.
Right? And so I think it is, the anxiety is right in that it's just trying to let you know, hey, you're not safe. Because a crazy thing happened to you. Happened to your neighbor, but you saw a crazy thing. You experienced it. And you want to add another layer of anxiousness onto that? Your kids saw it.
Yeah.
So can I unwind a few things for you?
Yes, please.
Your kids seeing that, it's not your fault.
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