Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Sat, 8 Feb 2025
Yarrrr, This week the boys pick back up with the surviving passengers of the shipwrecked Batavia, stranded on a reef in the Abrolhos Islands, off the Western coast of Australia - where Jeronimus Cornelisz's bloody reign of terror had only just begun... For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Chapter 1: What happened to the Batavia after the shipwreck?
Chapter 2: How did cannibalism start among the survivors?
I took it.
I was going to go. Thankfully, last second, right before. I mean this. In the seconds before we were going to record, I was walking out. You guys were trying to stop me. I just got the contract in from the NSA. I'm locked in for another 10 years.
Nice. Wow, so you're with them now. Yeah. All right, great. Perfect. And to all of our listeners out there, keep fighting the good fight, you motherfuckers out there in the horrible landscape that we find ourselves in at this very moment. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name's Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry. Hey. NSA Zebrowski.
And let me just tell you, we're listening.
What? We're holding space for the American people.
Don't the people of the NSA have to shut up?
Yeah, that's kind of... Sometimes, if you make so much noise, you make people think they can't be heard. Yes, yes.
And the man asking the logical questions here, Ed Larson.
Hello, yes, and I believe in God now! Because I have to legally, apparently.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did the survivors face on the Abrolhos Islands?
Once the fires were lit, Batavia's graveyard would come to their aid and bring them back to home base with all that water in tow. But, Euronymous knew that Captain Yakups and Upper Merchant Pelsart had already searched the highlands for water and found nothing.
So, it was Euronymous' hope that he could dump them in, most likely to challenge his mutiny on a barren dirt ball where they'd die of thirst. You know, I just feel like it's not a good thing to count against the trained soldiers. Yeah, exactly.
And so, once Vivahius and his men were stranded on the highlands with no way of returning on their own, Euronymous had condemned 75 survivors to near certain death, and in the process had removed most of the men and boys who might have fought back when the time came for Euronymous to take full control.
Now, do you think he was planning on that then? Yes. Yeah?
Absolutely. No, when he was sending everyone off to the different islands, oh yeah, they had already had the conversation of like, how are we going to do this? How are we going to take the number down to enough people where when the rescue boats come, we can easily take them over and get the fuck out of here.
And this is like a month after being on Batavia's graveyard, right?
Yes.
It's about a month. It is wild how fast... all of this falls together.
You know, honestly, a month seems like a long time when you're doing nothing and starving and you're fucking eating your own tongue. Sounds like a month of Sundays.
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Chapter 4: Who was Euronymous Cornelis and what role did he play?
I'll get to what they did with the gold in a second. It's fucking so stupid. No, God, here! Ha, ha, ha. The second victim, however, was far more resilient. Or, at the very least, I think the guys kind of got a little cute with it and decided to make this murder far more brutal. Problem was, they didn't have the tools to do it right. The second guy was stabbed in the chest repeatedly.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
But the knife snapped. A second knife was used.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
But that one broke too.
Why are you doing this? Stop it!
One of the mutineers then grabbed a pair of daggers and drove them into the victim's neck. Okay, I like that one. There is something kind of funny about someone getting stabbed in the neck. I don't know what it is. But the mutineer managed to miss the veins, the arteries, and the windpipe.
Those daggers also broke, and the victim was still alive.
Finally, the executioner had to dig into the victim's wounds to find a sliver of a broken knife that was sharp enough. And when he did, he ended the farce by slitting the victim's throat. It took so long. And they broke like six knives. What the fuck?
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Chapter 8: What ultimately led to the tragic fate of the Batavia's crew?
Absolutely. No, when he was sending everyone off to the different islands, oh yeah, they had already had the conversation of like, how are we going to do this? How are we going to take the number down to enough people where when the rescue boats come, we can easily take them over and get the fuck out of here.
And this is like a month after being on Batavia's graveyard, right?
Yes.
It's about a month. It is wild how fast... all of this falls together.
You know, honestly, a month seems like a long time when you're doing nothing and starving and you're fucking eating your own tongue. Sounds like a month of Sundays.
I'm bored. There's nothing to do on this stupid old island. This guy's kicking shells like, I guess we just have to create a system of devastation.
You're right.
But even with the removal of 75 people, there were still 133 survivors on Batavia's graveyard, including Euronymous and his two dozen compatriots. Far more than what the supplies could support. So, finally, Euronymous came to the conclusion that their only remaining option was murder. Murder.
We have to murder them, my ghost.
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