Ben Kissel
Appearances
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
constant and never ending sounds like jd vance on his couch and the couch is going oh get off me oh get off me sounds like anal without clove oil yeah
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Honestly, though, why didn't they, I don't know, make checkers out of rocks or something? They had time.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Don't the people of the NSA have to shut up?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yes. Or like a stamp every time someone dies, you know, like on the side of a wagon. Yeah. You know, like back in the day whenever they slaughter somebody, they like stamp it on the side.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
What month is it again?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Oh, well, you're not supposed to drink sea lion blood in a month that doesn't have an R in it. No. Did you know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically, from September to April, you can drink sea lion blood. Otherwise, it spoils too much. It's bad.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Oh, wait, no. This is in the southern hemisphere, right? Yeah, it does change. Things do change.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I found this barrel.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd just walk right up to him. He'd be like, I'm delicious. Put your fucking head off. And they would marinate it in kisses.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Hello, yes, and I believe in God now! Because I have to legally, apparently.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Just throwing gold at each other and shit?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Whatever happened to the captain has to be the last one off. And is that like a newer thing than this? Because he's already halfway to Java.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
But what keeps fucking me up about this whole thing is how do only one in seven people know how to swim? It's not like swimming is a privilege.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, the Amsterdam Canal is probably not the best to be swimming in.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Euronymous, you seem like a trustworthy guy. This guy is not going to get drunk with power.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I appreciate it, you know, because I'm busy here sewing the bodies back together. It's hard to leave them when you're sewing them.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
You know, you seem untrustworthy, but I'm going to say I'm going to go against my brother's judgment and say you're in charge.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Me neither. I wonder who's going to come. Oh, I'm sorry. I wonder who's going to come. Thank you. The C word.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Now, what is a dastard?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
One that's stuck around, but you wish he left.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Congrats, boys. Amen. They really are. Although, nowadays, I'd say it's 16-year-olds are the most dangerous. Oh, they're all bad, yeah. I get really scared when I see a pack of 16-year-olds. I get terrified.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
You can't do anything.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, because if you fight back, you're in trouble.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
And you know how much the Swiss love holes.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Well, oh, but did Swiss. Oh, but you said the Swiss Navy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Like a 10-year-old kills a hamster that he doesn't pay attention to.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Ish. Is that a fig, like, not, like, one you'd eat, but one that's, like, still attached to a tree? Yes.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Hey, now, hey.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Murder. I mean, murder.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
There are so many seals there, all filled with blood to drink.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
That's nice. Nice spice. Yeah. Because pine trees, they don't really use that much. No, no, no. That's a bad lubricant.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Now, do you think he was planning on that then? Yes. Yeah?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
And this is like a month after being on Batavia's graveyard, right?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
You know, honestly, a month seems like a long time when you're doing nothing and starving and you're fucking eating your own tongue. Sounds like a month of Sundays.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Maybe I should change. I want to try on a new outfit. It's just so amazing to have so many looks.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
You know, the best way to kill a carpenter, though, is just leave out meth.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Also, you're accusing the carpenters of building rafts so you kill them when you could have just been like, hey, guys, why don't you build some rafts? Yeah, keep.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Oh, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, yeah, seriously.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I really want to thank the person who wrote in about the clove oil.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Do you think they celebrated? No. Yeah, I don't know if they celebrated July 4th.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Dutchmen in 1628? Yeah, you know, they could have an insight to something we don't know.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
It's a long time He did quarter them. Yes. Yeah, or maybe a yes.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Viva. Viva doesn't know that he's Euronymous' enemy, right?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I saw a seal crawling across his straight razor. Straight razor.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
This whole fucking thing's derailed immediately. You're not allowed to lead a ship.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I, Hans, love the man who merges me daughter. Yes, I'll say it again. Say it for the guys in the back. A pledge to him, my undying loyalty for all the courage to kill her myself. Thank you. Somebody sign up. I'm brave. Euronymous is sexy. Euronymous is tall.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
It's like 15% of the people. Yeah. In like three days.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Take your shells. Take your shells. I try not to get too involved in politics.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
You need the fish guy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Certainly don't need the trumpeter. That's why he was the first to go.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Let's just keep getting bigger. The one thing I keep thinking about, did they save the gold? The jewels and stuff?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Maritime law.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Well, I said when you called him an asshat, I didn't mean to make a hat out of his ass.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Don't just build up the trap and then set the trap. We play the game this time. But then I just get lost in all the possibilities of all the traps. I'm just going to make dominoes out of these rocks.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
But the people who you could give the treasure to for things are the people who are going to kill you once they found out what you did. No, I'm telling you. Get the pikes.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah. But he's also going to try and go to Java and see what happens up there.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah. He's like, I don't know these motherfuckers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I'm a flounder man myself.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Today, you are a cabin man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
And he still looked at her and said... Just because you got a napkin doesn't mean you love somebody. I'm just saying.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
That's what I mean. But at this point, you see so much death. This is like, oh, finally, I get an easy one.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
God, yeah, I didn't sleep well either. I almost killed a 17-year-old last night. I'm talking about Tootsie. Not stop barking.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
So he sucks. He can't even kill a baby.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, yeah. You know what? Granted. You know, and when you're on an island, like a desert island, like, away from everyone in the world, there is little news. What?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
It is a little easier to joke about the victims when it's 500 years ago.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Put your eyes on one side. Let me slide underneath. Slither on top of my body, you little yellow and blue fuck.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
It is crazy that throughout all of this, they're on this island, everything's devolved into chaos, like a hundred people are killed by this point, they still are like signing shit. Dude, that's how they, that's what they believe society was built on.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Fucking shitty party.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
This one's for dirtiest kisser.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, or like a scout badge. Hey, man, the badge of the closers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Also if you're in the Navy just let me know if you need me to send you some clove oil.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
I am sick of this.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
That's got to be the saddest thing ever. Ironically, the only thing that kept him alive.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
So if they would have just tried once to check in on them, everything would have been fine.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
They killed them all.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
So they had an idea of what was happening.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
out of any movie it's crazy at any fucking big massive because this is gonna go down to the very last minute yeah and the epilogue is also insane yes also i i want to say i got you both a present to help us not get into this situation ever oh okay you have a gun no it's not meg It's a lifetime supply. Oh, wow. Nutmeg.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Oh, yes. And also, when you're doing the Patreon, make sure you watch this show. You can see our faces. You can see Henry bouncing around as a cabin boy the whole time. It's a lot of fun. Also, we're hitting the road. We're coming for you. We're hitting us to high seas. That's right. This is very appropriate today.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
As of today, you can officially join Henry and I via ticket. As of today, you can officially buy tickets to Crime Wave at Sea.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yes, we will be there. We're going to go to the Bahamas. And then we're going to do a fucking belly flop contest. Dude, we're fucking locked in with you.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
And also, we're going to be in Dallas in a couple weeks on February 22nd. And then after that, Nashville. And we're doing Detroit. Yeah, we got a bunch of shit. Toronto and Atlanta. And more dates to come, actually.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Lovingly.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Can those paying customers get a refund?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah. Also, it's like, you know, he's also probably going to die on this trip. It's a rowboat 2,000 miles.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Also, the coral's just jagged as fuck. It's rough. It's very healthy back then. Now coral's fucked. Now coral's bleached worse than John Stamos' asshole.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, I've just fucking got a hair dryer just blowing the water and making it hot.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 607: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part III - Bored to Death
Yeah, but I do love you, coral. And if you haven't seen a coral reef yet, you should go because it's all going to die in the next five years.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
No, no. I would like to be seen with you, and I paid you for it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Yeah. My God. It'll be beautiful. It'll be beautiful.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
When I saw her, she was already in two, but it was crazy, because the top half was kissing me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
You sick or you flirt with me? You sick? You seem cold. Yeah, lady.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Why do they gotta sleep for me to kiss? Why can't I get a live one? Except that one sick girl made me sick, gave me this lover's disease.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
But when it comes to the Astor Motels man from Batavia, it's most likely that Henry Hoffman was talking about the Batavia in Indonesia.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
He had a bunch of curly soup on his head. I think it's called hair.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Oh, yeah, he definitely had his shirt on. Who am I? My nose is falling off!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Yeah, I know. You need an elephant gun, man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Yeah, I know. Maybe. But at the same time, I could take more than one hit, and usually I'll fall on top of you. That's the problem.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
I just have cups of blood.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Oh, my God.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Desperation will put you in some really fucking awful situations.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
I always wanted to fuck one of these.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
It was brown!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Are we positive it was a D and not like a sloppy O? That's also a question.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Someone else cleaned up the body after he had killed them and done that. And then when they were cleaning up the body, they were like, we can't leave this flesh around. Now he's getting it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
And then it gets complicated.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
But vertical.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Unfortunately, Brown is a different context after this episode. So get me Brown.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Do you have any idea how hard it is to run an establishment while you're actively melting? I live in an Alice in Wonderland reality. Syphilis has occupied most of my brain. I don't know what's happening. I'm a floating grin. I look in the mirror.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
That guy's crazy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
I owe him $5. America, all gracious skies.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Yeah, or you don't get to keep that diamond necklace you stole from that lady.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Was it Dewey?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Absolutely. We have it on camera.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Or burned and the evidence has been destroyed. Because back in the day, it was so much easier to get away with murder than it is today.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Why would I want to be governor?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Talk about fucking... There wasn't even delivery back then. That's service. Taking it all the way to the house?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
There is so much phenobarbital at my house right now. It always freaks me out when you bring this up.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Let's just call bygones.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
They always end up saying something wrong.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Every time we get together, you always got to bring up the story of the fucking chicken, Ma.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
He keeps saying it so much that he thinks it's going to come true one day.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
I'm bringing him down with me, man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Hey, I don't suck dick here. This is where I wash my pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Okay, cool. I just wanted to make sure.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
The doctor said I'm falling into a knock-a-lantern. You want to stay in the master suite? You're going to have to sit on my lap while I go to sleep. You know, you're a great man when 100 years later you're remembered by that adjective.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
The syphilitic.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
Put it on my gravestone. I was horny to death.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 602: The Black Dahlia Murder Part III - Blood and Brown
I just got to confess, it's the only time we've ever done it. It was like... It's true. We waited until the 10-year anniversary. And the next thing I know, that's not the only place that had brown. Number three had brown. Number nine had brown. Number 12 had yellow. You know what? We're going to wash the sheets this year. That's why that's such a big bill.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
How you doing? What's going on? That's my name.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
It'd be easier if we got high before the show still, but now we wait till afterwards.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
But they didn't really care about life and death back then, you know?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Is that all you want?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
You're hilarious.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Yeah, and, you know, people don't care as long as they still got their nutmeg coming in.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
I want the other ones.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Didn't it just randomly grow?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
What you doing? Oh, I don't care. Erectile AIDS is, you know, how it all got started.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
And what happens when they kill the captain? The first mate takes over or they take over?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
At least. At least, because there's also the whole island was murdered.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Oh, it's when you get a poor throat.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Even my madness. I'm surprised he didn't murder her. He had made love to her. It's like the only time. And then it ended up leading to a bunch of murder.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
They do it for him.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
You can't tell the difference between wine and clove oil. I don't know how much... Not the living fuck, man!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Not so secretly.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Well, now we're moving.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Yeah, it's like if Santa's workshop was run by Skynet.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
The Washington Commander's locker room. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Wait, you pay for that money.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
Yeah, the crime wave.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 605: The Tragedy of the Batavia Part I - Spice World
That's when the cannibalism started.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Oh, we so we may think.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
There's no place to escape to. This is the Last Podcast. On the left.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I'm sitting there drinking about it being like, we'll never know who killed Elizabeth's short wife. We never will know because every mystery unlocks another mystery.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I put these straps on.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
No, of course not. No, I'm just saying.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Dr. Rulers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
No! Are you not listening? Jack! Donna Ho! Not Don Ho!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
And then the first guy's like, I didn't say kill her! That's the problem. He's like, you didn't want it, then you were going to get her a fucking bus ticket! Yeah!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
He's got a guy. He's going to do a thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Oh, you tell me, friend.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
You beat me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I knew you were trying to cut me in half. I knew what you were trying to do. You drew that line above my belly button and you said you were trying to make measurements for the new pool. And I know that that's not what was happening. Hocus pocus yourself. Oh, Mr. Magic Man, you're not kidding me. Because I'm a free lady. I'm going to be. I'm going to go take my dancers out.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I'm going to put a banana up her pussy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I can't believe how hot it's in here. I got to show my butt to the air conditioner. Bring me to the ice machine.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
The magician.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I wasn't supposed to do this. I was supposed to be a dentist.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Jeff did it! He killed the Black Dahlia.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Only a serial killer could shade in this way. I've never seen shading like this before. Truly nefarious. I must investigate.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Who's driving? I don't know.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
you know he was a bellhop.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
And you don't want to know what happened to Donnie Chaplin.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I need a home. I lost my home in the fire. I had to become a bellhop in 65. Coming my ass so hard my hat pops off. If you would, please. Please use me as a toilet. Whatever you need. All right, I'll take your bags up. I'll suck your dick. I'll play with your balls.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Simpler times.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Whoa. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yes, Jeff. I would love to talk about Jeff.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
That's fascinating.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yes. Me too. Yes. I as well. I wish I could know. All right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yes. It is called the old fashioned prairie dog. Where you see the little head of the dog peek its way out of the bush, which is the insides of a dead woman.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Oh, yes, absolutely. Of course. No, wonderful.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yes, more and more, please. How pink it is.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Or perhaps you want to try my ass.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
All I can do is tell you what I feel. Feeling some pressure.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yeah. All right. Yeah. Why not?
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Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
No, I know.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
It was smaller than a nine.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
You know how I know that? The differences are subtle but present. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. That's how I tell.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Let's see what happens then. Gotta tell the whole world. Let's see what he does then.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Jeff, Jeff. Jeff, where are you, Jeff?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yeah. Please come to my rescue. He like plays like a conch shell.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I brought my ping pong paddle. I brought my enema bags. I brought my chess set. I brought my dogs to me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I just like to enjoy myself. No, phenobarbital is a downer. Yeah, Tootsie's on phenobarbital.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Oh, whoa, the mystery increases. Oh, I just came in my wool. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Is it still in?
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Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
To be my receptionist.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yari, Yari, Yari. Let me tell you something funny there, Jack.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
I just happened to notice, I don't know, I feel like the, excuse me, police, you're being naughty, and I feel that you all should be ashamed. Well, this private investigator got car bombed for his trouble.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 601: The Black Dahlia Murder Part II - The Gangster Squad
Yeah, Frank's going down to his house, he's going to take his mustache to Mexico, see. Going to get my mustache, taste it out at the store, see. Come on now, go down there, come on, buddy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
From the boogie-down streets of Queens to a pile of beans, a new cup of piping hot Polish-Italian java, last podcast on the left, and Spring Hill Jack coffee rising from the rubble with a new brew. Butterfly Dude's Blue Eye Blend. Nothing to do with any moth-based entity. Don't even think about it. This is a Butterfly Dude.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
If I ever have a second marriage, the only way to be with somebody like that is that they have to have, like, I say three times the marriages you've already had and several attempted homicides. Because that's how you know somebody's got stories. Yeah. Because, you know, after a while... You're interesting. Wow. Oh, cool. Yeah, say another one.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I was scared. Natalie was curious. Then she was scared. Then we were both delighted. Then we were confused. Then we went to sleep. Because I fell back asleep and my penis deflated. Yeah, so it's fine. Back to normal today.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's just science. It's just hot girl science. It's not about being subjective. Yeah, I mean, she's related to me. Yeah, but that's the difference is that that's in the end. That's just what kind of legally keeping me from being inside of her. But otherwise, objectively, yeah, of course, I'd fuck her mouth and I'd play with her butt.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
See, that's what Eddie missed
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
out on on being a single child and being an only child is that it's just so much fun to play Clydesdale with all your your brothers and sisters you guys didn't you got you used to play the earthworm game with your brothers right where you used to crawl between their legs and then they'd ride you around right they would do that so you and Jackie what did you guys do you played like the elephant game was that was what it was called like where where she would grab your your penis right it's not sexual
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, I know. That's what the church is really great for. It helps fill in those gaps. Fucking asshole. You know, the family, too, is funny because I said this to you as a little allegorical thought in mind. But in the beginning, so like Lori, you hear the story about how her cousin and her went on a double date.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
smaller than yesterday interesting which i also don't like that i feel like in a way it's like if we wear a too small of shirt have you tried rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it and rubbing it all morning and then i called my neighbor and he came by and he says have you been talking about chad daybell and laurie vallow and i said yes he's like i had a demon come into my house last night and make my wife's clitoris
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And this is before everybody really knew that she was already kind of sleeping around. She wanted to make out with her boyfriend. They went joyriding all night. And they one of the big famous stories, I guess, of her childhood was that they were they saw a cat going across the street and her boyfriend was laughing and trying to get it. And then they ran over the cat. Right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And Megan started crying and shit. And they stopped the car and double backed over it to kill it, make sure it was dead. And Lori was laughing and all of this shit. And this image hit my mind of Laura Palmer. Yeah. Like, this is literally the beginning of this cycle. She's living a double life because Mormonism is forcing all people within the religion to live a double life.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Go ahead. Or probably Jewish, because it's not kosher. According to the super old man that looks like he's made out of frozen cum, he says that they're supposed to respect animals.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
All right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Pull that P.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
five inches long and i was like is that good or bad and he just gave me two thumbs up yeah and and i realized he wasn't wearing any pants so i actually in a way in that way it's kind of helping the neighborhood but have you guys seen anything kind of the same or different well i learned how to bless my own urine wow yeah and so it's really and so i got holy water coming out of me all day
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Welcome to our new Get the Let Out competition where we shoot you in the head and see if you survive.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, I'm sorry. I ain't be getting a letter from my producer here. I'm off the air.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
If that's the bar, you're the one sibling that either was, well, Stacy. Yeah. I don't know what happened with Stacy, but it's like this whole, like, that's all you ought to be better than.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
This is just so that the body has something to play while it's resting in hell. Heaven. Heaven. Well, you know, it depends if it was Mormon or not.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
This is the thing about the... I thought Coca-Cola was bad. No, you can't have sodas. You can have soda. You absolutely can. You can have caffeine. I've got many emails about this. You absolutely can. It is just coffee. That's how stupid it is, Marcus. That's what I mean. It's fucking arbitrary. Yeah. It's fake. The whole thing is fucking fake.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
As soon as you hear a series of ornate rules from a thousand years ago, it's not fucking real.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You're also leaving out the people that have expired licenses. They don't want to complete expired registrations. They don't want to complete people that don't want to deal with government statutes. Jennifer. Any form of what they believe to be arbitrary government statutes, like the regulations that keep us safe on the roads.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
They don't want to do it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
But you know what? Much like an NDA, no law can really keep you from drinking and driving. You can still express that liberty yourself with just your hands, a beer in your mouth. And just remember that that's the last thing they can take from us until the police shoot you in the head.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Hello. You're always pointing at him. I think JFK was fucking president at the time. That's fine. They're all Protestants, so it's fine.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, now they always have one. Naomi Perrigin, a really funny comedian, said that bit the other day. It's like she always lasers in on the one black person that is in every one of these scenarios and always like, how did you get there?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Whoa. You know what my problem is? You know what I never did when I was doing all that paperwork? Because obviously I'd have no need for it. As a matter of fact, I could lose it. I could lose the weight. Sure. But I forgot to click finish on the docusign.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It is sad. Yeah, the NSA are suffering right now. They're really scared for their jobs. And honestly, it's just nice to be here as an open member of the NSA to say thanks again, guys. And go Russia!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's not me who's technologically impaired, honestly. How am I supposed to know? It's always like at the end of some blank page. Mm-hmm.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
What the hell am I supposed to get a girl? Only girls under 13 understand me. Mormons are so impatient. Just wait for them to be old. No, that's the worst, Eddie, because then they're old.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
According to them, thinking that if you make it a religious right, then it should be protected by those laws. So you could make having a child bride a religious right. You could make killing people because they're unsavable a right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You can make these things because, and then their real goal in the end, let's face it, their real goal is total subjugation of all of us and a complete theocracy of the United States of America. But we're not there yet. Mainly just because we're just, everybody really likes tits. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And I really think that's the main thing keeping us from a full theocracy is that we really like tits and we like pussy and we like dicks and we like having a good time. We like Budweiser commercials. Like, we like it too much. And that's the problem. That's what the Mormons don't understand.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Well, the Mormon idea is they'll just close their eyes and have a peaceful sleep and wake up and we'll be gone and not have to really deal with the fact that we all were murdered by God.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
No, they start to. That's why we have Lori Vallow and Chad Dayball. It's a change. Be the change you want to see.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, well, that was a beginning. That was a start.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's really, it's true. Converted. When you click these things, it's completely real. All of these are like the hanging by a thread thing. You think that that's silly until you start to hear prophets say it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Eventually.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And the goal is to bring the end of the world here. They want it. They're really excited for it because the tribulations are going to kill all of us and then they get to go live in their Mormon paradise.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
But hey, the killing of their own children was supposed to be for all of our good, Marcus.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
If you can, yeah. Please.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Is this how you met Julie?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You're literally Tom Harrison. That's disgusting, Eddie. You did it for the most evil reason.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
There's no time for crying. All right, we'll all once just to make, we'll get past this. Let's just listen to Ben Fold's brick. One time, just for the sake of it, we'll get through this once. I put the petty in petty cash. Shit. Also, Barry Cox believed in the concept of the lower 95. Yeah. That was a thing that he used to say all the time. What's that mean?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
So he said that they were in the top 5% of humankind. The whole Cox family. The whole Cox family. Lori, Adam, Alex, all of them. They were better than everybody. They were powerful. They were hotter, more fashionable. They were better than everybody. Oh, that's why Barry only slept with them. Yes. Exactly. Why would you go out and get steak when you have hamburger at home?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
He literally is a... But he would say that all the time. Anybody did something dumb in front of him, he would always be like, that's the lower 95 for you. That was what he'd say. And so he kind of also, this idea that there are expendables here.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
The Cox's love drama and everybody around them. I also feel like I'm just going to go out and say a big old blanket statement. Mormons love drama. Yeah. Because their lives are fucking boring.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, just literally fucking. And these guys all would fuck, inter-fuck. The ward drama sounds so fucking exhausting and so stupid. And the way that they talk about their wards as if they were mystically placed in Rexburg. Oh, you were mystically placed in Clarkston, Idaho? Yeah. The only people that were mystically placed in Clarkson, Idaho were the fucking Robins, like literally the birds.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You are not. You just were born there. And then they're like, well, it's our ward. So we have to stay here. And so they all have to interfight and take it super seriously. And everybody's up their own fucking ass. Now, where do the Mormons stand on divorce? cannot be divorced. That's why they kill so many of their wives. That's why they kill them. It's because the stakes are so high.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Those are the things to remember is that that's also what's horrible is that your entire family lives in the ward. That's where your home is. It's the only thing you've ever known. The religious family that you've surrounded by, that's the only group you've ever known.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And every single one of these sins, every single one of them involves some form of excommunication slash extreme punishment slash extreme way to get your penance. I read a book called The Miracle of Forgiveness, which is a horrendous book. But let's not get too far off. I'm sorry. Basically, they say that homosexuality is bestiality. And it's just a black mark on the whole.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Well, you are an animal. I'll tear you up. Excuse me. Let me get my lube. I just have my anal jelly here waiting for me anytime I need it. Swiss Navy brand with clove oil. There's nothing better and there's nothing slipperier than a sailor from Switzerland.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, yeah. There must be a temple in Nevada. Yeah, there's definitely a temple somewhere. Well, a temple, I'm saying like an all-night wedding chapel. They don't do it like that. No. They don't do it like that. I mean, I wish it'd be fun.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I also feel like with Lori specifically, see, Mormons, again, they're so obsessed with their parents and they're so obsessed with it that, like, I think sometimes they let people slide that are really, quote-unquote, good parents. Lookin' Mormons.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, sweet, sweet Lori. Finally, my life is complete. Ha! He's going to ruin us all. You know, Chad Daybell, what I do find is interesting is that I actually, I watched a really good in-depth interview with Heather Daybell, his sister-in-law. One thing in common with all of these ex-mos, they all got that Connie Britton Yellowstone hair.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Periscope. But she's not hot. She's not that hot. She's not hot. I keep calling her so hot. Well, just because it's in Idaho and she's standing next to Chad Daybell.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Mr. Pete. Yeah, Mr. Pete. Who's the guy that checks vaginas to see if they've been disturbed? Oh, Snapper Jake. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Everybody's got the big hair that looks like, kind of looks like a Tina Turner wig. It's got a bunch of four different flavors. Oh, you mean Friday Night Lights hair? Yeah. It's got that sort of like four different kinds of blondes in it. You know what I mean? It's very big. They all got also crazy fakies. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And a good wife and a good worker. Being all those things together is not easy. So basically I'm a ticking time bomb.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Obviously, we believe everybody. You want to believe people when they say they're getting abused, right? But Lori Vallow, you can't take away the end result of all this away from the way she treated people her whole life. She used people as tools, and she really did, I want to say, get a kick out of it. out of ruining people's lives. She did it several times. It is not just within this context.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
She used to lie. I guess that's what it is. I'm steeped in all the other side stories about Lori. You start to see this whole picture that she... really would turn people against each other all the time. Sure. And she'd lie all the time. She was probably close to a pathological liar. Everybody got a different story about what she was doing and who did what at all times. So at some point...
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I think that Lori is, I think bad things happen to her, but I also think she's massively full of shit. So I think that you just, it throws doubt on all the stuff that she talks about.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, his dad was not a nice man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It is. But now you're more woman. But Chad Daybell, he was like, weirdly, the way she talked about it, it finally nailed something in the head for me. He was so pompous. He thought that he was so cool. And the worst thing ever... Was that when he pulled into Rexburg with sad Tammy Daybell in tow.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
She did. She said that he molested Tylee. Did she say that? Yes. She kept throwing it around. And it's just like, when you drop it three times, that's when it just gets to a point where now you're trying to hurt something.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You're weaponizing something. I don't know what it is, but you're doing something. I don't know what the fuck it is. And again, if she didn't kill her kids, it'd be different. Yeah. Colby seems on the level, though, after watching the doc.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
He has the whole podcast where he talks about this.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
No, fourth wedding's Provo wedding. First wedding's always got to be big deal, obviously. Second wedding, you should probably kind of keep quiet about it. I think the second wedding is the quietest one. Third wedding is secretly. That's done inside of one of those places where you stop and you just get the form. And then I think fourth, you could do it again big, being like, no, this one...
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You know, you said it too. You notice what you just said? What? The idea that she'd make it a habit to drug the kids with NyQuil and sleeping pills? Yeah. And how do you think they fucking Tylee and JJ went down in the beginning? I think that you can immediately see a line through. Like a Casey Anthony's Annie the Nanny type thing? Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And I also think that their separation, I wouldn't even call him gold diggers because he's handsome. If he was big and fat, it's different.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, yeah. When he showed up, the worst part was that everybody loved it. Yeah. When he showed up, they became, like, very popular. That's it. Yeah, I said that last episode. And they keep walking around and telling other people how their land is eventually going to be theirs. That is also wild. To go into somebody's house and be like... In Idaho, no less.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And as much as dudes love bomb, women love bomb too. A woman can go in there because you'd be surprised what a well-placed piece of lingerie and a fucking 20-minute blowjob can do to a man's psyche. It's like, I know it's ridiculous, but it really can break a man down.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yes. I know. I know. I'm well aware. He was gay. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, but also, this is not really fringe Mormon. Mormon dogma, man. You know, like, I did not realize. No, I said fanatical. I did not say fringe. Is it crazy? I did not know that they actually literally believed in reincarnation.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
God in Phoenix. Imagine the worst open mic stand-up in Phoenix.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And everyone knows the best stand-up sets are always repeated phrases for movies you've seen. Yes. And doing weird. Movies and TV shows. That's the way to do it because then people go, oh, yeah. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Did you ever hear the story about him getting a head injury? No. It's just fucking obvious. Is it short? No, it's just he had a car accident and he came back never the same. That's what they all said. And it was that there was a thing in here where he was in a coma for two days after a car accident and he came out and he was fucking just a shell of himself.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
No, unfortunately, he wasn't shown the preview of the rest of the world by God.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I just think it's got a fun look. It's got a vibe. It's kind of like, it's vibey. Nice big trunk.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Now, this is just, it's fascinating that she watched the whole thing and she kind of orchestrated it. I'm so jealous of this relationship. I want to commit a crime with Jackie. I want to commit a crime with my sister.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's fun to do. Look how close they were. They were fixing each other's underwear.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I was making art.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
They had a very open sexual relationship. Barry Cox and Janice Cox used to talk about their fucking with their kids. The kids used to repeat it to the rest of the family as funny little jokes. They all were always inappropriately touching each other as a family. And so it came from up top.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Every stand-up says, like, you know, I was on my way to the veterinarian today. It's never real. Stand-ups are fucking lying to you guys.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I'm being 100% serious. Mormon politeness is a weapon. Yeah. Much like their arrogance.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
The passage said, quote, And then, if he shall come upon you or your children or your children's children into the third and fourth generation, I have delivered thine enemy into thine hands.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Same. It's like their arrogance is what is going to kill this family.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Sure. You know what I mean? If I massively almost killed... He should have wrote all about what it was like to almost kill your sister. There's some funny shit in that, I bet. Oh, man, he must have missed at least eight minutes. God, I wish he was on the moth. Oh!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Way less delicious.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Ooh, God, just fucking those little... You got those Mormon underwear getting wet from how humid it is. It's getting really wet. Gotta peel that off to get to that fucking gay shh, dude.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Aloha.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
earthquake still coming yeah any day now it's so weird because she seems so rational in the doc and then she'll just say the craziest shit out of nowhere dude you should watch this interview I did with the East Idaho News with her an hour unadulterated uncut Julie Rowe and she is fucking nuts but she puts forward too that Chad might have been kind of angling for her to be the number one wife before he met Lori Vallow well she's not blonde enough nope
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Not at all. She was never like that. She never called anybody who was with a whore. She never just said, they're just trying to take my son from me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Thanks, Mom. She's crying next to the Christmas tree.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's hard for her to go, right? You can't just be like, you just dropped this funeral on me. Okay, if you really wanted me to go, you would have told me two weeks ago when I had already not done, because I have to get my belly frozen. Have you seen that? No. It's some kind of process where you get your belly frozen. Wow. It hurts, apparently. I bet. That's it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was the guy that molested Big Bird, actually. It was a very sad episode of Sesame Street. It was really rough.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah, he was a drifter. He lived in the trash can next to it. And the second comforter is also what saved my marriage.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I mean, this is Charlie Sheen talk. Yeah, it is. You know, like the idea of like, angels, I don't need to sleep.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Except for the one that died of AIDS.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
No, he didn't. Three of them died of AIDS.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
It's a visual joke. You guys can't see my act out of it. Him driving the car like Jimmy Carter. He's surprised that I'm going to die face.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Butterfly Dude's Blue Eye Blend. From the cocoon to your room.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yummy, yum. And as soon as she saw him, the first thing she thought in my head was, man, oh, man, I want a slice of that more, man. Yeah, I want that bowl of yogurt of a man. Nothing I want better. To gargle the pouch of fat underneath his belly button. So that I can properly serve ooh, Chad.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah. Now, I saw the Mormon Girls website, and I feel like some of it is different there because it seems there they really want to make sure none of the seed is wasted. Do you think that normal Mormon ladies, do they, is it like doctrine to swallow?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I would actually really like to know. I bet they are. They're probably fine. I mean, I guess it's between a consenting father and son, then it should be fine.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yes. But I just don't know if you swallow if it makes it legal because then it's food. Because then you're making food. Oh. That's choking. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And there ain't no such thing as cheating at a PAP conference, because what happens at a PAP conference stays at the PAP conference. and then it gets out. Yeah. And it kills your children. Yeah. But the PAP conference does sound like a bunch of women in their feet in a bunch of fucking, like a big PAP smear conference. Oh, there it is. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Thank you, everybody. Kill my sister's kids, please. Anybody? I'm just so lazy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
That's just how you flirt at an end times conference.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Well, that's the whole thing, right? Is that they all, they all now believe that every single thing is the end justifies the means is that it's all careening towards everybody's going to be dead anyway.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And they also believe that there is no...
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
pause between this life and the next life yeah they believe the next life is as real and is as concurrent as this life so you won't miss anything death is not anything yeah now as we said chad was a bit of a dud in both personality and looks or at least that's the case by non-mormon standards me i'm the human version of parcheese everybody's favorite sit down game good quiet long game
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
See, the 144,000 only happen after the rest of us are dead. And that's even still debated as to whether or not what that number means.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You're killing me, sir. Well, the big lesson with this, honestly, the visions of glory, like the real hidden thing is the idea that when you do bad things, you allow these evil spirits to gain agency over you. Yeah. So it is your fault. That's the key here is that no dark. See, light is like in his world. If you're a Mormon already in a capital M Mormon, Mormon, you are a light.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
But a dark person is allowed dark energies to enter them through the top of their head.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
No.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
If he was actually making this into a tabletop RPG, which I actually think you should do at home. I think the Lori Vallow, Chad Daybell at home game would be really fun. And that's, but that's how you do it. You'd probably roll for it. Yeah. But I think 6.66 has to be the end of dark.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
But in the end, they always lose.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And the worst part about asking the owl is that all the hours of like, now tell me magical owl is entirely dark.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, yeah, buddy. Berry cocks. And guess what? He might have a bit of the fritzle in him as well. Oh, really? Yeah, just name. He truly was. He put the cocks in his family.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
That's like your survival rating in Naked and Afraid. Yeah. It doesn't really make sense either, that one either.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
They just make up those numbers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
That's awesome. You're so smart. You're cool. Also, guess what that is? Folk magic. Yeah. It's fucking the same thing that Joseph Smith did. Yes. It's another fake bullshit, like, it's literal old-timey con man shit.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And whoever said before was completely incorrect. Andy Gibb died of a drug addiction. And Barry Gibb's still alive. And there's also... Whoever said all this before? Whoever said that. And Maurice died of untwisted intestines. Yeah. I don't even know how that happens. I guess this comes from fucking Saturday Night Fever.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I also told, there are several competing German restaurants, and there's an entire German town that we can go to that is just outside of Huntsville as well.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
So this NASA headquarters, not headquarters, but... They had a sudden influx of German population around 1945. 1945 or so, for some reason, yeah. And they just had to find a bunch of different... It seemed to be they were a very demanding clientele. Particular. Oh, yes. And they just seemed to create a lot of... They found a way for them to be really comfortable in Alabama.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Oh, my God. You know, they really, really were. Yeah. Really.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah. I can never sleep. I cannot sleep. All right, well, hail Satan, everyone, because Satan actually won't kill your kids.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
What do you mean? We don't know whether it sounds like carbon monoxide poisoning. No, it's all that completely got debunked. No, carbon monoxide poisoning is actually highly suspicious. They have no idea what happened inside that.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
The wife was found mummified. She'd been dead for days. And they found him. They might have followed. It looks like either she died suddenly, and then he fell, and then he had pills, and then the dog ate the pills. This is why the dog died. That is, like, one thing that they're saying. But otherwise, they don't know because the front door was open. That was what's also weird.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
So somebody could have went in there. For days the door was open? Apparently. Stay tuned for side stories.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Janice is... She looks like... I think I saw her lick her eyeball once.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
you know when somebody looks like their sins yeah you know like they look like the thing that they did bad that's like what she did because she's really is she's like a little like she's a stephen king character she yes yeah yes but you know they were the fun family yeah they were considered the fun mormon group because all her her cousin megan went to go stay with them several times and she said that barry cox took them all to see rambo
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And see that obviously in the Mormon community, that's an extreme big no-no. But Barry Cox overrated by being like, that's the kind of way we're going to be living soon.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
I guess if you go on a cruise ship or something. I think maybe in Honolulu. Also, there is a giant Mormon stronghold in Hawaii as well.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
That was the ultimate Mormon kid, like, naughty thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Um, I just want to kind of maybe open up today's episode, first of all, talking about how you guys are handling your own demonic attacks inside of your homes. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. How has it been? Like, have you been able to sleep? I was trying to sleep last night, but demons kept jumping inside of my penis and making it... Big. Big? Like, too big. And I was scared at first.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
Because I was always taught as a chubby baseball player that you've got to get in front of the ball. And that's the only thing that counts. You've got to block the ball with your body. It doesn't matter if you use the glove or not. You've just got to stop the ball. And that requires extra mass. And Jackie also was a softball player, and a lot of the girls were of that persuasion as well. Sure.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
And there's nothing to do about that, okay? It's a sport. You've got to build up the muscle. Fat turns into muscle if you work it, right? That's what my father told me. My father told me, you're fat, son, and that means you're strong naturally. And you've got to use it. That's how he taught me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
That is literally what he said. But Janice, she did the thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You're not like your brothers. Here's a spiral notebook. But Janice taught them all the trick of, which I also thought was real. And then I found out that apparently it is a massive eating disorder. She's like, you don't have to eat anything you wanted at all.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 610: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part II - Ticking Time Bomb
You chew it and you spit it out. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's what she did. So she would full, and she also, because it's Mormon, you have to keep up all appearances. So again, if you're at any potluck or anything, you got to heat that plate up. So it would just be filled with chewed food, but it would be at the end of the meal. Oh, God. What a horrible thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
With trash can lid hat. Neg Kelly armor.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yes. I mean, a nearly unlimited supply of rocks. It's Australia.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, it's a rock-heavy city or country.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
14? I would say, yeah, 8 to 13. 8 to 13.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Absolutely not.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So we got 10 fully armed Australian larrikins versus, oh, it's going to be child versus child. We have Jan Pelgrim, the cabin boy from the Batavia, the insane cabin boy. This fight could have actually happened. Yeah, it's so close. It really could have. This is a regional battle here. That's where he came from. Off the coast of Australia versus the Australians themselves.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And I'm going to put Jan Pellgrim. I'm not going to do Jan Pellgrim as he was, which, you know, of course, he was back then too weak to strangle anybody, too weak to kill anybody. I'm doing Jan Pellgrim as he saw himself. Oh. The strongest boy that ever lived.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I feel like they're just going to become buddies.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think Jan Pelgrim becomes the leader. If Jan Pelgrim as his self-image, because Jan Pelgrim, you've got to remember, he's 17. And he did talk people into killing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
That's right. And here on the wild card edition, I know in previous years on the March Madness of Mayhem and Murder, we've done half fictional and half real. But this year, we only got a couple of fictional people in there because this is a wild card edition. I'm very, very excited to see how this shakes out.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right, so it's going to be the best Australian garage rock band ever, Yawn and the Larricans.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Ben is a team that we didn't know that it could happen like this.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Do you think people have this sort of passion talking about like Duke versus Syracuse? No.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think it's on better sleep. Yeah, better sleep. All right, so this is the last round in the prelims. Not prelims, but like the last round in the first round. Eastern Conference. Oh, we've got Al Gata, the 9-11 Gator. Oh, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Just a beautiful Tuesday.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, that is true.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Alligator, the 9-11 gator versus Lorne Michaels.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
The thing is that 30 Rock is actually quite far from the World Trade Center.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, a phalanx. How many is in a phalanx?
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, and isn't there always like a child, like a boy who follows him with popcorn? No, I wish. I heard about that.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I never saw that. I think I remember reading that in the book, the oral history of Saturday Night Live, is that he quit smoking many years ago, and so now he constantly eats popcorn. And so there's somebody that's always around him that makes sure that there's never a bowl of popcorn. It's kind of like Ronald Reagan with his jelly beans.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, he's a big alligator. And Lorne Michaels is a dainty old man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
He's a television producer.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I like your cavalier attitude. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Marcus Parks.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Now, for the next round, does Al Gaeta merely kill Lorne Michaels or does he eat him alive? Because that's going to have a lot of bearing on how Al Gaeta does. He kills him. Well, in the one fight we knew, he just ripped the guy's leg off.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Gotcha.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I'm thinking that if there are the assistants around, Algate is going to get chased off. So Algate is still going to be hungry going into the next fight.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Alright, so that is our... So who's moving on? So our Eastern Conference round two is going to be four Mars Attacks aliens versus Yosef Fritzl on a Boston Dynamics dog. Uh, and, uh, Yon and the Larricans versus a still hungry Al Gator. So let's move over to the Western conference to see what our first round is going to be to the Larricans. Also higher Al Gator. We'll get to it. We'll get to it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And, of course, had Larsa.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know what's going to happen. So, first round is Benicio Del Toro as the Wolfman. Now, Henry has stipulations here.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I say two fights an hour. So right now we're at about 630 p.m.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's when it's fully full. Hmm.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Does a werewolf turn when the moon is fully full? The werewolf turns when the moon is fully full.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
No. It's the moon has to be fully full. All right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
He is. He is. As far as actors go. But that's the thing. Benicio Del Toro did enter into this tournament knowing that this could happen. He rolled the dice. And he lost.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, he did take the payout. He took the money. Well, let's see if it's his widow that's going to get the money in the end because Benicio Del Toro is going up against, ooh, Judge Doom. Judge Doom, the villain in Who Framed Roger the Rabbit.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Let me ask you. Am I bleeding right now? No. Okay, good. No. Because it tastes like blood. Yeah, hey. That's just your mouth. Yeah. I got a cold sore, and then when I was doing my announcer voice, it ripped open. What?
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
God, I opened up my cold sore again.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And remember, he's got springs in his feet. He's very intimidating. He is a cartoon. He's a cartoon. He's a toon.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
This is solo. This is solo.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, that's the thing is that he would have had to have known the dip was and that's things that nobody know. None of these fighters know who they're the rest of the people are.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
He wouldn't have thought to come with dip.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about 6.37, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Actually, I don't even think Judge Doom needs to go all the way. I think Judge Doom could just beat him to death with his walking stick.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Oh!
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Wow. Yeah, so, I mean, it's going to take some cleverness to take care of Judge Doom. I'll say that. It's definitely going to take some cleverness here.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, don't count them out.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Slaughtered very, very quickly. Yeah, yeah. All right. Next up, we have... Next round, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I know you do. I do as well. But he's dead now. Yes. Next up, we have, ooh, Telecom the Whale.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So that is kind of the rough thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Oh, of course. We've set up these stipulations before. You do have to go to that environment.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Because otherwise it'd just be on the fucking dirt. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But whoever fights him, depending on if they're water breathing or not, they will definitely get scuba equipment. They have to fight them. They have to be equals. And that equal will be Luigi Mangione. Oh, man. Okay.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Ah, very good. Yes, Rob has handed me our sports bandages, a.k.a. paper towels. The quicker, thicker, picker-upper. That way I won't be self-conscious about bleeding from my mouth.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, but that's the thing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, because if Luigi killed the owner of SeaWorld, then Telecom would eventually die. The whole thing would fall apart. But it would take a very long time for the entire corporate apparatus to fall around the ears of Telecom.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
We also need lawyers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
scuba fighting gear. That's the thing. Here's what we know about Luigi Mangione. Man knows how to prepare. Like, the man knows going in- And he's got money, so he's like Bruce Wayne. Yeah, he's got money, he knows how to prepare, he knows how to go into a situation to win it! He's ready. And he's written on his harpoon gun. He has a harpoon gun.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Technically, you just shoot out the cage. No, but I do think that Luigi prepares. Luigi knows how to get there. He knows how to get the job done. And Luigi does not hesitate. So I don't think there would be any sort of distraction or anything like that. I think he pops in and just right in the brain.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right. Hell of a first bracket. Yeah, let's move on. Let's move on.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know what those SeaWorld killer whales, what they're paying attention to, really. It seems like it takes a while before they notice that someone else gets in the water.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Years. Years. All right, so next up we have the biggest monster of the UK, Mr. Jimmy Savile.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
You big lumberjack. And I also wouldn't mind getting a sponsorship from Orogel. Oh, certainly. Because I am quite open about cold sore use and cold sore, you know, suffering. Maintenance. Yeah, maintenance. So, yeah, just Orogel, if you need a sponsor, if you need a pretty face, hit me up. But it ain't too pretty because it's got a cold sore on it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And we have Jimmy Savile versus... It's like versus like here. It's Jimmy Savile. This was completely random. Jimmy Savile versus Diddy. Oh, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right, all right. Say them all, say them all. Well, that's the thing, is that Jimmy Savile was a monster of opportunity. He, of course, was known across the United Kingdom for years and years as a man of charity, and that's, of course, how he found many of his victims, you know, in spinal wards, mental hospitals, and so on and so forth, in addition to various kids that were on Jim'll Fix It.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But did he... I think Diddy's like that. He's the spider with the web and Jimmy Savile's the fly. Because Jimmy Savile is the one that he goes to where the action is. And Diddy has the action.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
We don't. No, yeah, we do.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yes. Young teenage girls, that was Jimmy Savile's, that was his taste. Yeah, like, P. Diddy, you know, let's just say... Because Savile's clever. That's what he always said. It's always, it's better to be clever than smart.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Little known fact about Jimmy Savile, wrestler. He was a wrestler, and he was in incredibly good shape his entire life. You know what's hard to wrestle?
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. By far more violent. Because Jimmy Savile was not necessarily known to be violent. Jimmy Savile was a man of opportunity. He liked to prey on the weak. I tell you what, though.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, but I think with this one, I think Diddy takes it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right, so for the last first-round bracket of the Western Conference, we have Keith Raniere. Ooh, he's my guy of NXIVM. Yeah, of NXIVM. And we've also got... The Symbionese Liberation Army. So let's do NXIVM versus the XSLA.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, I did earn it. Yeah, I did earn it. You'll take a paste, Orogel. Please. But yes, here on the March Madness of Murder and Mayhem, this is our fourth one. And what we're going to be doing today is we're going to be picking 16 fighters out of our cup of champions. Oh, here we go.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
The SLA pumps these motherfuckers full of bullets in a second.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And they're also all rich as well, which is going to piss off the SLA.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think the SLA is going to give the volleyball game a chance. Yeah, I think they're going to try. Yeah, I think they're going to try, I think, because they do have pride.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, but the SLA still makes him play volleyball.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Okay, yeah, the one that was in Battlestar Galactica or the one that was in Supergirl? It's in Supergirl. The one with Allie Mack.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Okay, so SLA picks up Allie Mack.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
That's awesome.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. She really would. That's who she should have found. Yeah. Wow. So that's the last of the brackets. That's the last of the brackets. And that's the thing. We have one final. We have a couple that did not make the tournament. Unfortunately, Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow did not make the tournament. Unfortunately, they'll have to wait till next year.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right. So now we are in the quarterfinals. The March Madness of Murder and Mayhem, fourth annual. First up, four Mars Attacks aliens versus Josef Fritzl on a Boston Dynamics dog.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Okay. Yeah, has to. He's not strapped on like Mudang was.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Let's get our first round. And of course, we've got the Eastern Conference and the Western Conference. That's right.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But here's also one stipulation I'm going to put in. We've got four Mars Attacks aliens. Marjorie Taylor Greene was such a beast that they used up every bit of plasma power they have. So they have to fight him with his hands. So from now on, the Mars Attacks aliens are hand-to-hand combat.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
With weaponry.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But they started with the laser guns, but they used up all of their laser guns in fighting Marjorie Taylor Greene and killing Marjorie Taylor Greene. They're not infinite, no.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
The aliens don't.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
No. Here's what I'm going to say is that I actually know a good amount about the Mars Attacks lore. I was obsessed with Mars Attacks when I was in junior high. Okay. But specifically, I was obsessed with the cards, the card that Mars Attacks was based on. But I was also obsessed. Topps Comics had this incredible Mars Attacks series. It was like a five-issue miniseries. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right. So let's start with the Eastern Conference. We're going to go through all the Eastern Conference first round first, and then we're going to go through the Western Conference first round after that. Nothing makes me happier, Marcus. Let's get into the man. So our first contestant today is... Five Mars attacks aliens.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
in which it actually showed it from the perspective of the Mars Attacks aliens. The movie, of course, made them very goofy. But if we combine that with the Topps Mars Attacks lore, then we know that the Mars Attacks aliens did have limited resources as they were invading the Earth.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And so if they do have limited resources, there was a lot of management going on of like, where are we going to put all the aliens? Where are we going to put all the UFOs? So that tells me that they do have limited resources, that their weapons are not infinite, and that we are dealing with a situation where they would eventually run out of ammo.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But as we said, what you get in the first round, you can bring to the next round, but you do not get anything extra after you enter the first round.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And if you remember, Joseph Fritzl is a structural engineer, not an electrical engineer. So he's not going to have any idea what to do with that dog. But again, for Mars Attacks Aliens, I do think one Mars Attacks Alien might get trampled by the dog because that's bad. That's his best bet.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
They knock it off. But then, unfortunately, they do just knock it off. I think they use their massive glass, like plexiglass heads, and they just headbutt Josef Fritzl over and over again until he's just mush. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But now that they've reprogrammed it, what do we have now? We have three Mars Attacks aliens with one Boston Dynamics dog.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. All right. So our next fight, we have Jan and the Larricans versus... Still hungry alligator. And I'm thinking... They kill an alligator.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I don't want it to be this way. But this is a blowout.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Of course, Jan Pelgrim's voice, once it gets to a certain frequency, it can make your ears bleed. It does hurt you.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
We'll see. We'll see what happens. Okay, so that is Eastern. That's the Eastern quarterfinals over and done with. Let's head over to the Western. This first one, this is a really interesting fight. Judge Doom versus Luigi Mangione. Whoa!
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
If we remember Judge Doom, one of the things that Judge Doom was about, what Judge Doom was more than anything else in this entire world, Judge Doom was a capitalist. Absolutely. That was his whole plan. His whole plan was to buy the fucking red line and to replace it. We'll see a freeway where you'll see motels, tire salons.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think so, too. I think he's the only one that could have taken him down.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Oh, no. Judge Doom is like he's the capitalist of all capitalists.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, he's trying to not only eliminate public transportation, but he is willing to murder and kill the very soul of joy, the toons, in order to do it. And he's also a class traitor because he himself is a toon.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, fuck him, man. Shoot him in the head. All right, so Luigi moves on to the semifinals. Yeah, wow. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. Good work, Luigi. Yeah, and this next one, this one's pretty interesting. This is Diddy versus the Symbionese Liberation Army. Whoa!
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
They do.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And Diddy's got a lot of cred. And that's all they want.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, that is true. Are you sure I get you, Diddy? If there's one thing that a white man wants above all else, it's for a black man to tell him that his shoes are cool. That's all they want. He'll do anything for that.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, the bird matter is closed.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Oh, my God. It happened to me on the train, on the J train once in New York. I was on a high for a week.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So, yeah, I think Diddy takes them out pretty fast. Yeah, I think so, yeah, because I don't.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, for me, this has been, yeah, without Patty Hearst the entire time. Oh, okay. Yeah, but you know who Diddy picks up, though? Ally Mac. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Very much so. If there's one thing Ally Mac likes to do, it is collaborate. Oh, she does. She does. Wow, so we're down to the final four. Yeah, this is the final four here. So this is incredible.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So now this is, oh man, this is like Duke versus Gonzaga. Like three Mars Attacks aliens with a Boston Dynamics dog versus Jan and the Larricans.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And the other fight is Luigi Mangione versus P. Diddy. What?
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, yeah. Let's do, like, before we go, let's go. Last year's Final Four was on the Eastern Conference. We had Xenu, the Scientology god, versus the Xenomorph, you know, alien. And on the other side, we had Godzilla, who was... Quite injured by 400 birds versus a killdozer possessed by Pazuzu.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But this year, I feel like we're really getting it down to brass tacks. What do people want to hear? Yeah, I feel like because, I mean, it's been a long time since we've had a group versus a group in the final four. But I'm thinking that at the end of the day. Jan and the Larricans might overtake the three Mars Attacks aliens and the Boston Dynamics dog.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And who is fighting five Mars attacks aliens? Let's see here. It is Marjorie Taylor Greene. Oh, the bruiser from, I believe it is Missouri.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I don't mind that. God, they have the chance.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And at the end of the day, it's like I was saying with Jan Pelgrim, the register of his voice, that high-pitched... As soon as he learns how to sing, boom. All three Mars attacks aliens explode. The heads explode, just like in the movie.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Sure, yeah. I'm going to say he takes out three.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, like Heathcliff getting into a fight.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yes, of course. Well, Jan's the one who delivers the coup de grace.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right. So how is this fight? So we're doing this in a dirt field. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Nope. I think that the other larrikins take care of that. I think the other larrikins make sure that the Boston, because remember they have.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. But also remember they have.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
They have everything. They have everything that they gained from killing Al Gaeta. Yeah, remember, they have all their stuff.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. It all depends on if the Boston Dynamics dog gets them down on the ground and stomps on them. Yeah, and starts ripping out their throats. Well, it doesn't have a mouth. It doesn't? No. No. It's just legs. The Boston Dynamics dog, its only power is in its legs and how much it can stamp.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
It does.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
No head. No head.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, we decided not to do that. But I think in the end of it, yawn and the larrikins take it. All right, so we're talking seven larrikins and yawn. Yeah, seven larrikins and yawn.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. They just want it. And that's the thing is that the Larricans never would have made it if Jan hadn't come on because Jan was the one that eventually saved him from the Mars attacks aliens. Yes. You never know what's going to happen on the last podcast on the left, March Madness of Mayhem and Murder.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And there's a reason why this was the wild card edition because anything can happen, ladies and gentlemen. Anything can happen. Semi-finals on the other side, we have Luigi Mangione versus P. Diddy. I don't think it's a competition at all. I don't think Luigi Mangione is impressed by a single fucking thing that Diddy has to say or do. And I think Luigi Mangione, again...
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Shoots him in the back of the head.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
He has to. It's a fight.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But Luigi loves the attention. Exactly. But that's the thing is that actually, if you guys, I don't know if you guys know this, but I think Luigi and Diddy are currently in the same prison. Like they're in the same, I think they're currently in the same jail. And I think I remember, I think I remember reading that Diddy is actually jealous of Luigi for how much attention Luigi is getting.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And Luigi is actually, Luigi is trying to back off a little bit. He's like, stop sending pictures. I don't need any more pictures.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But we have established that Luigi prepares. Of course. And I think what Luigi's going to bring to this one... Landmines. Landmines? Wow. Why is that going to matter to him? Or explosives. That's going to take away the fucking first wave of the goons.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
No, no, no. Once you murder someone, well, Diddy's not really into Satanism or anything like that, so no, he's just murdering.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, that is true. That is true. Yeah, I think. Wow, yeah. I didn't even think about it in terms of that. The baby oil. Yeah, because that's the thing. It's hubris because Luigi Mangione could suffer from hubris. This is Batman versus the Joker. Did you remember when Diddy dressed as the Joker? Yeah, Diddy did dress as the Joker and I think this might be the time that the Joker takes it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Wow, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
People are really going to be upset. It's going to be really unpopular. Just because
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
What are we supposed to do here? Casey Anthony's still out there hanging out. Is that Diddy as the Joker? Yeah, that's Diddy as the Joker. God, he looks great.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Oh, my God. That sounds extraordinarily frightening.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, unfortunately, yeah, Diddy does take it, but this is a very interesting final. This is the longest fight we've had. Yeah. But this is a very interesting final here. Oh, man, it is Diddy versus Jan and the Larricans.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So I'm thinking that, okay, so with the Mars Attacks aliens, do they have the space lasers or are they hand-to-hand here? I think that they have laser guns. There's no way these aliens fight fair, first of all.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
They like booze, but I think that the larrikins are smart enough to know. that he's going to turn the tables on them. I think that they know that he's just luring them in like a Captain Hook. And I think that they can see past that. And I think that there is somewhat of a code to the larrikins.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I don't think so, because I think that if you have Jan Pelgrim at the head of this larrikin group, because what does Jan Pelgrim want? What is the only thing Jan Pelgrim wants? To kill. Murder. Yep. And Diddy only murders when necessary. Murders way too high profile for him. So I don't think that this is going to be their crowd. I don't think they're going to want in here at all.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
A convict, a criminal, a drifter, a bastard. Many different things, yeah. And I think at the end of the day, I think before Diddy even opens his fucking mouth, I think a larrikin hits him in the head with a slingshotted rock and he goes down and they just beat him to death. You don't think he doesn't have a gun on him at all times? He might have a gun. He might.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But at this point, we've just been using oil. But that's the thing, is that Diddy, by the strategy that you put forth, Diddy's strategy is to try to bring the kids in. He's going to try to manipulate them. He's going to smooth talk them. Yeah, he's going to smooth talk them. He's not going to come out with a gun.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think the larrikins get him in the head with the rock, and that's really all you need. A well-placed rock.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, and I think at the end of the day, after they kill Diddy, they take over his empire and they run it into the ground.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And the larrikins form the real one. That's it. Yeah, larrikins form the real bad boy entertainment. And ladies and gentlemen, that was the fourth annual Last Podcast. On the left, March Madness of Murder and Mayhem, wild card edition. One of the craziest tournaments we've ever had in the entirety of this tournament that we've been doing over the years. My God, that was a hell of a day.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
It was a hell of a night.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
There's nothing in this world that scares us more than 14-year-old boys.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Patreon.com slash Last Podcast on the left. If you want to see this and all of our episodes in video form, you can see absolutely on the video that every single one of our matchups were completely and totally random. Pulled it from this cup that I'm holding right here. Nothing fixed here. Nothing fixed.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
You can also check us out at Last Podcast on the left on TikTok and Instagram and go check out all of our streams at twitch.tv slash LPN TV. And don't forget to come see us on tour.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
You're allowed.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But I do think that the Mars attacks aliens, they're clever. That's the thing about them. They're warriors. They're very clever, and Marjorie Taylor Greene is not very bright.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
She's a tank.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
That is true, but the Mars Attacks aliens do have the range, though. They do, and they also... Let me take my heels off!
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
And remember, there's five of them.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But the Mars Attacks aliens, as we know, are not swayed by female or human sexuality in any way whatsoever.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
She has a Dillinger in her pussy. But I believe that traditional firearms were not that effective against the Mars Attacks aliens. No, as we know, it's only that one song. It's just that one song. Yeah. And I don't think Marjorie Taylor Greene listens to music that good.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, she's definitely... She's got one. Yeah, she's going to take out one.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're going to sacrifice one in order to sneak up behind her and take her down.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, she's definitely... I actually see it more like the sort of situation where they have to, like, surround a massive elephant and, like, five people have to, like, shoot.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
You can't defeat the green.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
That is all that is left is her tits and hair. All right. So round one. The Mars attacks. Aliens take it. All right. What a satisfying conflict. All right, so round two, we have Joseph Fritzl with his grandfather's Luger. Very good. Very important.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So what age of Joseph Fritzl are we hitting here? Now. Oh, no.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
No, 85-year-old Josef Fritzl. Yeah. But he's got his grandfather's Luger. And he's out of prison. And he's out of prison. Okay. And he's going to be going up against... Mudang the hippo strapped to a Boston Dynamics song.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
So I kind of want to talk about this choice. This is Henry's choice. Obviously, this is Henry's choice.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah. The miniature hippo.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
It's baby Mudang.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
It's baby Moodang. Moodang at the height of its popularity.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
I think that's unfair. I think that Moodang should be strapped on top of the dog. That's what I kind of mean. Yeah, yeah. It's essentially, it's a belt attached to it. Yeah, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
But I do think that Joseph Fritzl, he's an old man. I don't know what his marksmanship skills are like. So I think he's going to wait until the Boston Dynamics dog with Mudang strapped on top charges him.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Waits until he charges him. And so he's going to shoot Mudang right before the Boston Dynamics dog slides into him. But that's the thing. The Boston Dynamics dog is going to collide with the old man. Well, now Yosef Ritzel has been knocked out of his wheelchair.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Mitch McConnell. Unfortunately, we forgot that in Croatia, the wind blows with powdered glass.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yes, yes. He's on his feet. He's definitely on his feet, and he's a little badder. Because that's what we've got to remember. The rules that we put in last year is that you do go into the next round with the injuries that you sustained in the round before. So, for example, we have only four Mars Attacks aliens left.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Mudang is the driving force. Yeah, Mudang is the driving force. I think after he kills Mudang, Fritzl gains control of the Boston Dynamics dog. He's riding the Boston Dynamics dog. So now it's Joseph Fritzl riding a Boston Dynamics dog.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it shot Mudang in the head.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
All right, next round. Wow, this is great. This is really our best work. Yeah, it really is. This is the best stuff we do. Ten fully armed Australian larrikins.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
It's not me.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Bam! Yeah! Ow!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Whoa!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Oh, wow.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Ha ha ha!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Eat the horse, boy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Oh, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Just wagging his finger.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Enough. Right?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Yes. One more time, lady. One more time.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
Get all right, kids.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
It's a great town.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
Extreme aging!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
Yeah. That's what they do best.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
Fly from your grave.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
Without a doubt.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 616: The Montauk Project Part II - Livin' in the Future
Did you tell him that you come with shit? Off mic.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
There's no place to escape to.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
I had them.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Hell yeah, be sad.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Tune in on Rhyme, please.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Yeah, it's Cuba.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
I know, Eddie.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Shit. Shit. Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
I want that.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Get out of here, missy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Fly from your grave.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
He's got the hottest tool disease.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
I'm running out of pink.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
I love Doss Highway, man.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
LAUGHTER
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
Oh, great. Good.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 600: The Black Dahlia Murder Part I - The Girl from Hollywood
God damn.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
That's amazing.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Okay.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
On the way to, I think it's dedicated to you.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
If time travel's real and you're involved with the fucking CIA, like we always claimed you were.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
I mean, yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Very good. The dials are going crazy. And now play. Oh, let's see the feet. Oh, yes. I got his feet. Very good.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Did you say do you think? No.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Yes, we can cloud seed. Why not do it over Los Angeles then?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
1776.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Ugh. Sorry.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Okay.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Yeah!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Oh, very much so. We're signing treaties with aliens. Yes. Okay.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Because of the breeze in North Carolina.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're ready to go. Suck my dicks. How many space? Yeah, I'm going to go out on the ground and I'm going to suck all these dicks. I don't like the molestation, but if it gets me to Saturn, start fiddling. Come on, let's go. Pop open my pates. Come on. It is a small price to pay for knowledge. It really is. Me, this is my buddy Tucky. I'm over here.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Anybody want to kill some turkeys? Come on, you want to go through that? Come on.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Legally.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
They're all getting pushed out by the rich.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Hey, you might want to eat an extra set of those, all right? I'll back it up, all right? If these balls could talk! They say something like, get me out of these pants, I'm dying!
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Somebody fuck these women.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Excellent.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Wow. Wow. Wow.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Yeah.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
No.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Hey, now. Now this would be illegal on our planet.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
As a matter of fact, I do, Clippy.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Who published the book?
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
It's another connection. You're asking me to find far-fetched connections this whole episode. I found one on my own.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
It's just, Sherry, Sherry, baby, Sherry.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Done, right? Lizard king. That's you.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Ooh, there he is. Yeah, he does. Let me get some.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
I went to the observatory. I watched a Tesla coil.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
All right, see you later. I know it. I know Rick O'Casey.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
I usually get the red sauce, but it started to give me hot burn. Yeah, so I got to do it.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Bye, fuckers.
Last Podcast On The Left
Episode 615: The Montauk Project Part I - The Truth Behind The Truth Behind The Lies
Bring me a boy. Bring me the boy.