Last Podcast On The Left
Relaxed Fit: The 4th Annual* Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder
Fri, 21 Mar 2025
The time has come once again... for Last Podcast on the Left's ANNUAL March Madness of Murder! And this year... We got a WILDCARD! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!Killers from all around the Last Pod-Universe, both Fictional and Real-Life go head to head - and only ONE will survive! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.
Chapter 1: What is the significance of the March Madness of Murder?
There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left.
That's when the cannibalism started. Who's that?
Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready? Are you prepared for the madness and mayhem? Welcome to... to last podcast on the left. And we are here at the depends adult diapers for men center outside of downtown Croatia. And it is a beautiful day for a fight. Isn't it market?
That's right. This is the fourth annual last podcast on the left, March madness of murder and mayhem this year. We've got a damn good surprise for everybody this year. It's going to be an old wild card edition.
That's right, man. We got the broswers pumping. We got the popcorn popping. And we got the crack in the light bulb. That's right. We are having a time here in Croatia.
And I hope everybody's enjoying their hot dog made from real dog. It is one of the essential delights here in downtown Croatia. And do you think that we got a stern wind coming out of the northeast about 45 miles per hour? Do you think that will affect the gameplay today, folks? Yeah! Well, we'll have to get that one contestant off the rankings. All right, here we go. Goodbye.
Mitch McConnell. Unfortunately, we forgot that in Croatia, the wind blows with powdered glass.
Yes, it's actually a perfect environment. These contestants, some of these people have never been in a physical fight.
Absolutely not.
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Chapter 2: Who are the contestants in this year's tournament?
All right. So how is this fight? So we're doing this in a dirt field. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Oh, I see all these illegal aliens coming down, trying to fight. You got to take a good spot from an American warrior. And I will not allow it. I will face them in the square, sir. They literally have Jewish space lasers. Yeah. That is the problem.
They are manufactured by some of the finest Jewish laser companies in all of the world. Like if anybody's seen a Blitterstein, one of the best destruction laser companies out there. Thank you for your sponsorship.
So I'm thinking that, okay, so with the Mars Attacks aliens, do they have the space lasers or are they hand-to-hand here? I think that they have laser guns. There's no way these aliens fight fair, first of all.
No, we know that. But Marjorie Taylor Greene is shielded by the Constitution. And what you guys don't understand is that the Constitution can absorb, I believe, up to the watts of a neutron bomb. I'm trying to think what the Constitution can save three blasts. I mean, forget that. I mean, just that. Also, her thick skin. Oh, no. If you did a roll on her, I did a roll for her Constitution. It's 18.
She has the skin like a rhino. It's as thick. It can take most shrapnel, and it can take quite a bit. You can kill her with a bazooka. I'm pretty sure her mother was an armadillo. Yes, yes.
But I do think that the Mars attacks aliens, they're clever. That's the thing about them. They're warriors. They're very clever, and Marjorie Taylor Greene is not very bright.
No, no, but what she lacks for in mental strength, she makes up for in strength of body and frame.
She's a tank.
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Chapter 3: What makes the Wild Card edition unique?
With trash can lid hat. Neg Kelly armor.
Yes. A trash can lid hat, and each one has an armed slingshot. Yeah, with a bunch of rocks.
Yes. I mean, a nearly unlimited supply of rocks. It's Australia.
There's rocks everywhere.
Yeah, it's a rock-heavy city or country.
Again, they're children, though. But they're fearless.
13?
14? I would say, yeah, 8 to 13. 8 to 13.
In Australia, you're a child until you're 13. You're immediately a man as soon as you hit 14. You're an adult man. And then at 18, you're a crocodile.
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Chapter 4: How do the fights between different characters unfold?
I think that you're fighting for Tilikum because you have emotional attachments. I have no emotional attachments with Luigi. Well, no, I just think it would be a fun way to get... I think it's a fun way for him to kill a whale.
Yeah. Just shooting it from outside the water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right. I don't think you guys are correct, but I'm outnumbered here. Yay!
All right. Hell of a first bracket. Yeah, let's move on. Let's move on.
Yeah, fuck yeah, man. But do you think Telecom wouldn't know he's coming? He also was in a fight.
Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know what those SeaWorld killer whales, what they're paying attention to, really. It seems like it takes a while before they notice that someone else gets in the water.
Yeah. It takes a while for them to get agitated to that point as well.
Yeah. Years. Years. All right, so next up we have the biggest monster of the UK, Mr. Jimmy Savile.
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Chapter 5: What strategies do the fighters use?
Chapter 6: What role do sponsors play in the event?
He is. He is. As far as actors go. But that's the thing. Benicio Del Toro did enter into this tournament knowing that this could happen. He rolled the dice. And he lost.
He took the payout.
Yeah, he did take the payout. He took the money. Well, let's see if it's his widow that's going to get the money in the end because Benicio Del Toro is going up against, ooh, Judge Doom. Judge Doom, the villain in Who Framed Roger the Rabbit.
When he killed your brother, he talked just like this.
This is my issue, though. Okay. This is one of my issues.
God, I opened up my cold sore again.
Oh, God, he's covered in blood. Now, Judge Doom, in and of itself, he was good versus cartoons. He was also good versus Eddie, though. Yeah, because he had all the extra weapons in the warehouse.
And remember, he's got springs in his feet. He's very intimidating. He is a cartoon. He's a cartoon. He's a toon.
Oh, yeah, I forgot. He is a cartoon. He's an actual toon. Yeah, and that is the main wearing human skin, I think. Yes, yes. Yeah. And does he have the weasels with him? No, no, no.
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Chapter 8: How does humor influence the podcast's discussions?
All right, so it's Benicio Del Toro. Now, what do we know from the Kruger's Door murders and our crew over there is that he is absolutely, in real life, a werewolf. But Benicio Del Toro is not fully aware of this. Our competition takes place and kicks off, right? We've been fighting for hours. Yeah. So, let's say we hit a kickoff at 3.30. Yeah. First fight's at 3.30? Yes, that's right. Okay.
So Benicio del Toro is a wolfman.
Yeah.
And it's about whether or not we get to the nighttime. Because if you're getting to the nighttime, you're going to be either fighting Benicio del Toro, the actor, or him transformed into a werewolf.
I say two fights an hour. So right now we're at about 630 p.m.
Ooh, it's about to turn. It depends on how long the fight is. Let's see who he's versus. The next full moon is March 14th. Today's March 2nd. But what time does the moon rise? That's what we really have to look at, is what time does the moon rise? 2.55 a.m. Well, that's when it's at its peak. Eastern Standard Time. That's the next full moon.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's when it's fully full. Hmm.
Because it doesn't have... Does a werewolf turn... Wow.
Does a werewolf turn when the moon is fully full? The werewolf turns when the moon is fully full.
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