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Chapter 1: What happened at the Cobbs Comedy Club?
Ja, und jede Stunde, das war die schlimmste 24 Stunden, 48 Stunden. Hast du einen Gewicht verloren? I'm still fat. And that's the problem. Here's another thing about Ozempic that I wanted to talk about. Is that I'm not eating at all. And so I feel so tired because I'm not eating any protein.
Since when? Because last night was a pretty good one.
What do you mean? At my house you had like seven sausages. No, I didn't. I didn't have seven. Dude. We counted.
No, stop. I had one sausage. Right? Eine Viertel deiner Pretzel. Nein. Ja. Du hattest eine halbe Pretzel. Nein, das war nicht eine halbe. Du hast mir eine Viertel gegeben. Es war eine halbe. Ja, aber ich habe sie nicht beendet. Okay. Ich habe sie nicht beendet. Es gibt keine Beweise dafür. Ja. Und dann habe ich einige deiner leckeren Apfel-Turnover gegessen.
Die Turnovers sind so gut. Mit deiner Homemade... Homemade Whipped Cream. Whipped Cream. So gut. So gut. Aber ich hatte nur ein bisschen davon.
Das war alles, was ich den ganzen Tag gegessen habe. Du hattest nichts vorher? Nein, das war es den ganzen Tag. Okay. Das war mein Essen. Und heute, als wir zu einem Michelin-Star-Restaurant gingen, was sehr schön war. Und da habe ich Fisch gegessen. Das ist das erste Mal, dass du Fisch gegessen hast. Ja, und ich habe Kaviar gegessen. What was in there too? What was inside of it?
It was a crab, right? Some crab inside and then some eel. Eel and sticky rice. If you watch Naked and Afraid. Yeah, love it. It's a survival show. And they haven't eaten in four days. And when they actually finally eat protein, they can feel it in their body. Sometimes they get really sick because their body's not used to it. But sometimes they're like, I can feel it gives them immediate energy.
Not that that happened. German Sausages didn't do it for you? What I'm saying is, but you instantly feel better. Yeah. You know what I mean? You feel like you're... Yeah, without today's dinner we had, I would be so tired right now. Did you eat any breakfast? No. No lunch? No. So what are you doing today? Just water? Are you drinking anything? I'm electrolytes. So like Gatorade.
Yeah, and I've gotten IVs every day. Don't do that every day? Yeah, I need nausea. You're not supposed to get an IV every day. Just three days in a row. That's every day. Exactly. That's not good. I know. They couldn't even find the hole. You're going to have track marks on your arm. We're going to think you're using a gas. Yeah, but I needed the nausea medication.
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Chapter 2: Why did Bobby Lee cancel his show?
But I feel like you're gonna be ugly once you're skinny.
Mm-hmm. I see that. But that's not... No, that's true. That's not the consensus on the street.
Like, you'll lose your attractiveness.
Okay, let me just say something right now. The fucking Hak Tua girl. What's her name? Hak Tua. Hayley.
Hayley Welch.
Welch, right? You know what she... I'm gonna start a war with this lady right now, dude. Why? Because I'm gonna tell you why. Okay? Okay. She's on her podcast and she has a couple of girls on it, right? Yeah. And they put up a photo. I guess they had put in Kim Jong-un in replace of... Kim Jong-Un hat den Hak-Tua-Show gemacht? Nein, sie haben... Wir können Kim Jong-Un nicht haben?
Was zur Hölle macht ihr? Wir wussten nicht, dass du Bobby Lee auf dem Podcast hattest. Und dann sagt Hak-Tua, ich hatte ihn. Sie sah die Bilder und sagt, es ist Bobby Lee. Sie dachte, es war Kim Jong-Un. Das ist cool. Nein, es ist nicht.
Er ist so berühmt. I know, but yeah. It's cool. You would love to be that famous. You can't go anywhere in North Korea without being recognized and praised. That's your dream. I should go there. Yes. That's what you're saying? That's your dream. You could be the Kim Jong-un of South Korea.
Yeah. Or you could be like in one of those movies.
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Chapter 3: What is Ozempic and how does it work?
And then people didn't want to fuck with him anymore.
I'll tell you a real story. Joe Piscopo. If I may. Please. When I was doing open mics, when I was living in La Jolla, there was a guy that used to come down from LA. He was a fat kid. Right? And he was funny. We did open mics together. His name was Eric Edwards. Okay? Griffin, you mean? No. Oh, okay. Und dann hat er zwei Filme, große Filme. Er hat Blade. Was? Ja.
Er spielt den fassen Blob in Blade.
Es sagt das auf dem Breakdown. Der fassen Blob in Blade.
Oh, ich kenne diesen Kerl. Okay, geh zu Images, der fassen Blob. Warte, habe ich diesen Kerl nicht getroffen? Ja, er hat das. Wahnsinn. Wow. And then he got Sergeant Bilko. The Steve Martin movie. Go to Sergeant Bilko, Eric Edwards. I know this guy though. I feel like I've met him. Right? Go to any... Wow. Go down here with Steve Martin down there. The third row. So that's Eric Edwards.
That's when I met him. Then he lost 200 pounds. I never saw him again. All that weight made him disappear. What does Edward look like now? There, right there. A healthy guy. Same thing with... And he's so talented, so funny, great guy. Aber... Ja, Typecast Hollywood. Right.
People like you because you're this affable, round, beautiful Asian man.
If you got... Oh, no. When I was... Dude, when I was on Mad TV and on my Thursdays and Thursdays, I was skinny. But you weren't funny back then. Ich sehe. Du bist lustig jetzt. Ich sehe, dass ich lustig bin. Ich bin lustiger jetzt. Viel. Du bist der lustigste, der je gewesen ist.
Okay, okay. Ich würde sagen, dass du gerade in deiner Karriere der lustigste bist, der je gewesen ist.
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