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Andrew Santino

Appearances

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1029.466

That's fine. That's great. Yeah. I told you what it was.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1032.489

I didn't want to hear it from you if I went long. That's really... I did not want to hear your bullshit about you going... Because by the way, I did 30 minutes because I wanted to do more time. You wanted to give him the best version of the show. Oh, fancy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1047.625

What are you doing? What are you doing? We were just sailing through this... So here's the issue.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1068.486

A shot of it. He's walked into the porg.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1071.849

At least he's embraced it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1075.598

No, fancy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1087.503

Okay, so I told you my truth.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1089.724

I genuinely, I just wanna do a lot of time.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1101.167

It was incredible. It was awesome.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1104.929

We did. Jess and I went for a long walk and saw some roos.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1109.012

It was incredible. And then in Auckland, Carlos went to a brothel, which I'm sure is... Can you talk about it? Yeah, of course. We already talked about it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1124.621

Oh, less corporate. Mom and pop. Less corporate, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

113.37

And I just.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1133.086

So there was someone else hooking up in there as well?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1144.633

Why wouldn't you just shower again?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1204.272

I agree.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

122.353

They're heavy. It's pretty heavy, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

125.675

No, no, no. It's what I like. No, they're heavy because the...

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1252.367

Because you don't eat enough food? Yeah. So your stomach is eating itself. Yeah. That's bile. That's bile.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1288.061

Do you ever run blood work on yourself? No, I don't do that. You've never done that? No. You honestly do that. At your age, you have to run blood work.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1296.665

That's not the same thing. I'm talking about holistic. Your whole body needs to know like maybe you have allergies to something. You can have some stuff going on that you don't know. That's like what hot girls- And I'm not even talking about your breath. I'm talking about separately. You should run blood work, dude, to know what's- I'm talking about your breath. That's right.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1333.883

When he says get me mints, he means the royal me.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1358.549

Okay. You won't believe this. I saw him put a mint in his mouth and it jumped back up.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1377.372

Oh, yes, I do. That's the kind of feeling like when you discover Mint Mobile offers premium wireless for $15 a month when you can purchase a three-month plan. It's such an awesome deal. There's no way you could keep it to yourself. Tell everyone you know about it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1394.751

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you and your squad with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month. That is nothing.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1403.44

To get this new customer offer and your new three-month premium wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1412.069

Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash badfriends. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1439.114

It's so good. And they have every single toy you've ever dreamed of, whether it's coming out of your tush or your ring-a-ding-a-ding on your pole. They got the best deals ever over there. Four toys for $20. They're saving you up to $175 with this exclusive offer. It's incredible. They have every toy you've ever dreamed, all the lube you can dream of.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1466.79

Go to adamandeve.com slash bad. It's the only way to get this offer. Go to adamandeve.com slash bad and pick any four sex toys for just $20.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1478.919

Go to adamandeve.com slash bat and pick any four sex toys for just $20.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1486.406

Dude, when you eat it, I feel it. I can tell when you're on it. Because with Blue Chew, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, it's an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost in chewable form.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

149.046

Nice.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1508.828

And some people are like, how hard do you get, guys? I'll tell you how hard. Bobby sometimes takes it, calls me on the phone, and then puts a speaker up to his wiener, and it's... That's what it sounds like. I say someone at the door.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1520.373

You get Dwayne Johnson hard like the rock. That is baby.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1524.294

They always say there's nothing sexier than confidence. Bluetooth is going to give you that confidence in the bedroom. Lock it up.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1537.858

Do it now. Blue Chew wants men rock hard. They told us. That's the mission. They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house, till every tent is pitched, every rod is raised. Discover your options at BlueChew.com. And we've got a special deal for our audience. Try Blue Chew free. Just pay $5 for shipping at checkout.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

154.935

All right, end over end.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1554.195

When you visit BlueChew.com, that's BlueChew.com to receive your first month free.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1563.82

Play this video of him coming on stage in Sydney. This is Bobby coming on stage in Sydney. Jesus Christ. So crazy. Oh my God. Wow. Crazy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1587.647

Do I get the Mr. Know-it-all thing now, or is it passed to this fucking guy? That's a great one.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1597.356

That's baby know-it-all. Baby know-it-all. I don't even come up with shit like that.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

160.398

Oh, are you guys ready?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1611.825

What's the Nevada thing? What is this saying?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1622.471

I'm not going to lie.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1624.372

That's insane. A state when it was formed.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

163.94

Right here. Really? If you throw it like that, then because it flattens out.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1643.902

We know nothing. Yeah. All right, so let me ask you, though, not to stick on this joke, do you go to see a dental hygienist, though? No. You can't just have, you don't? No. Will you?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1676.205

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dead. Wow. Wait a minute. So you won't go?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1681.507

Yeah. But wait, why won't you go see somebody?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1685.762

Are you afraid of a dentist? Is that what that is? No, I'm really not.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1692.124

This is tripping me out. When's the last time you went to a dentist? For real. Maybe when I was a teenager.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1697.246

In fucking 30 years? Yeah. Andrew, check it out. What?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1712.516

All right.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1716.101

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Shots fucking fired, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1722.368

The frequency of dental visits depends on your individual circumstances. However... The ADA recommends, the American Dental Association recommends adults and children see the dentist every six months.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1733.379

I think that almost everyone I know does.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1735.72

Yeah, I go to the dentist. Everyone in this room goes to the dentist. At the very least, once a year is definitely what you should do.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

174.525

Why do you ask me so many questions then if you don't want to know the answer? Because you know I got the answer.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1786.812

like dip your finger in your butt and smell it no not the pot no no but don't start there yeah don't start there no but i'll like i'll go like this and do that yeah have you done that yeah of course yeah i want to surf i'm see if i'm on track yeah i think we need to get this solved and i mean this because now i feel like it's dangerous are you really throwing up in the mornings oh yeah oh buddy come on that's not good yeah oh that's not good well then stuff's going on it's like indigestion it's a whole thing and mccone knows my pillows have blood on them when i wake up yeah

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1813.675

McCone, you're not voicing this to us ever? You're not going, hey guys, I think you should know this. Both for the sake of health and comedy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1833.828

I'm going to say it right now, dude. I told you backstage. Say it. And I don't know if you really took this to heart, but I mean this. I said, man, it's incredible when you are freestyling on the piano and she's backing you up and just flowing with it. It's extremely impressive. Maybe I'm a fucking... underexposed person to that kind of style of music, but it fucking blew my mind.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1857.628

Every night I would sit down, when you would freestyle on the piano, and you would just smooth come in, I'm being so genuine to you guys, it's so impressive to me. And maybe I don't know shit about music composition and theory, but it fucking was incredible. I'm not kidding. Sure, maybe, but it was fucking gorgeous.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1885.228

Over there, we were much tighter. Well, we had 60 cities of practice. We found a groove.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1894.553

It was smooth. And we had some incredible people, fans, to help out in the show. We had a woman who was able to squirt breast milk out of her mouth. Into my mouth. Out of her tit, into your mouth. Her mouth would be crazy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1917.205

What do you mean? Yes, it does not taste like oat milk.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1922.667

It was a human milk. Oh, it's human milk. Human milk. And let's see it right here. Let's play a clip there. Oh my God.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1929.21

That's so much more than I remember. That's insane, dude. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's all breast milk. That's all breast milk. And those babies are not going to go hungry. That is so much.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1944.388

Yeah, I snuck back.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1946.649

And her husband approved. We asked her. Yeah, exactly. She goes, my talent is that I can squirt breast milk very far. And that's us asking her husband. I'm saying, dude, was this cool? Do you approve? And he was thumbs up all day.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1960.674

It was. Yeah, that was in Melbourne. Oh, that was a magical show.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1964.895

Sarah Snook, Jake Lacey.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1970.898

And I'm dying up here. I'm dying up here. That's how we met. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sarah Snook, who is... Secession. Such an incredible actress.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1981.002

Yeah. Such a big fan of yours. I have such a crush on her talent-wise. You know what I mean? I think she's so talented.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

1994.076

Well, because she's, you know what, what's funny is when you grow up in L.A. and you meet people that grew up in L.A. that are like actors that grew up here, I guess it's more you have a projection of an idea of who you think they are. You do because you meet some kids that grew up here and they act and it's a thing.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2007.349

And, you know, even though she moved here as a young kid, she kind of grew up here.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

203.705

I told you that was a bad idea.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2033.048

It's really nice to see people feel free and not feel like, because our show is fucking insane. Like, you know, Sarah brought their 14-year-old son. And when they came backstage, I was like, do you want him to see the show? Yeah. And she was like, yeah, I mean, why not? Who cares?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2050.316

Yeah. We played the same venue as rocket scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson. And we're sucking on tit milk.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2057.759

Rock and roll. Incredible. Rock and fucking roll.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2062.64

There's only one part of it I didn't like.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2065.561

One part of it I didn't like. Tell me. You know what it was.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2070.396

Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2073.763

Did you make me mad the whole show? Was I mad at you a little bit? I was.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2079.548

I can tell you exactly what it is because it's a little bit of jealousy is what it was.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2084.43

We played the clip on here of you walking out to Sydney to all those fans. Oh, I knew it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2091.573

No, no, no. It's not Matt or Bobby. I said to him, did you get us all coming out to the fucking crowd?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2098.456

No, no, no.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2109.184

I wasn't upset at you. I said to him, did you get everybody getting that shot? I got all of us going out. Is that what I asked you? I said, did you get me or Jesse going on stage to the big crowd?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2126.138

What? What?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2129.777

Interesting.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2133.34

Interesting. Someone's trying to get under Mr. Nodal tutelage, huh? What? Someone's trying to be Mr. Nodal for the show.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2146.992

Interesting. Okay. That has no bearing on the fact that he would literally go, I should probably get everybody coming out.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2154.958

It's 8,500 seats. Yeah, you're right. You assume. If one of us said, hey, make sure you get this shot, why wouldn't your instinct go, I should get this for Jess?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2165.301

Correct.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2178.928

I don't. It's over to me. And that will always lay inside of me as something that you disappointed me at. And it turned me. I was extremely upset. I went to my hotel room and I said, not happy. Doesn't care. Doesn't care.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2194.917

Pretty close. That wasn't why I was feeling that way. But that Dollywood moment almost happened again. Yeah. I had a day.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2206.966

I had to go to the gym. I had to just walk away. But McCone was a big sliver. A big sliver in my hand. Ow. How do I get this out?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2233.921

That's me. That's all me. I know what it is, dude. That's all me molding and shaping the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what it is. And you know who didn't try on the trip at all? Who? Who didn't put any effort into the trip whatsoever? Carlos. Yeah. Shout out to Carlos. He worked very hard.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

224.883

What about you? I'm good. I know you are.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2247.783

You actually did a phenomenal job. Thank you. I appreciate it. A phenomenal job. Much better than we expected you to do. You went above and beyond. Fancy you didn't do shit. You stayed back and caught up check.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

227.766

I'm good because I did the exact pattern I told you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2281.757

A little Nobu dinner. Yeah. And the kids never had Nobu, right?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2286.601

You're welcome. Didn't say thank you once. Didn't say thank you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2291.726

Did not. Did you say thank you? We said it a few times. When? Do you remember? Give me the time.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2297.831

Yeah, he's got a time stamp of it. I'll pull it up.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2305.828

Love a good lazy Susan. Love a good lazy Susan. And we had, overall, man, every city did what we thought they were going to do. Nobody let us down. Every city was amazing. Every venue was great. And let's be honest. Can we be honest? We thought one of the cities, we both were like, what if this isn't that good? Because of the venue.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2329.688

And it turned out to be fucking great.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2333.211

We were both.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2334.832

You walked out.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2336.953

Yeah, you did say that.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2343.638

Amazing.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2348.561

Was that Brisbane? Adelaide. Adelaide. Wait, tell that story.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

236.415

The funniest part is, I literally said, when we fly to Sydney. I did the pattern.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2382.711

Well, then I went back there and I go, are you really having a panic attack? I didn't know if he was joking. And then you were just off.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2391.418

I felt so bad.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2411.454

I thought it could have been a royal when people get low, they get low.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2418.2

Uh-huh, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2427.284

Well, I have clinical depression, so I go into a deep, very dark, low hole. Yeah. I disappear.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2452.931

If I'm being honest, if we want to talk real shit, yeah, I get fucking – I have depression. I get extremely dark and low. I think the worst negative thoughts, I'm sure there's fans that have exactly what I have or they do this thing. And I found my only solution – is to not communicate with people because I just feel like I'll be mean or rude. And sometimes I am.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2478.897

Then I just get snappy because I'm really low and I apologize if I am. And I find that if I can go and exercise or just break away for a second and just kind of Do my own little thing. It helps me reset my bearings. And then I can get back to it. And I've done it a few times with you guys. But that's just... Unfortunately, I think it's a part of my chemicals. Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2500.164

I think it's a part of my fucking unfortunate DNA. I'm born with this awful... I don't even know how to describe it. It's awful. It sucks. I'm not proud of it. I'm not, but it also is who I really am. So I think if I service myself and I leave people alone, I can figure it out. I found the tools for me to go, okay. And you know what helped me? I'll tell you this.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

251.189

But it's Mr. N-O, Mr. Know-It-All.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2523.745

Shout out to the guy I met in the gym. I didn't want to fucking talk to you. I absolutely didn't want to talk to you. I was lifting weights, I had headphones in, and he approached me multiple times to talk. And I was being a little mean at first. I was like, what's up? I did that. Oh, I've done that. Like what, what, what, what?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2542.145

And then as soon as I dropped my internal guard, I thought, this guy's just a nice guy asking a question. And then I shout out to that guy for some reason that helped me like get back to where I needed to go because I knew this was a test. I don't know what you believe in. I don't care if you believe in a God or not or a universal energy. This was 100% a test from the universe going, watch this.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2564.725

I was in the gym alone and it was like, watch this. And it put this guy in front of me and it was like, you can either fucking be a fucking grump and be bummed and ruin someone else's part of the tour, the other people you're performing with, or you can take this guy as our little fucking tool. And honestly, I felt great after that.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2582.179

Something in the universe gave me that guy, I believe that, to be like, look at this happy-go-lucky sweet guy who just wanted to talk, chat, didn't know me, it wasn't like a fan, it was just a guy wanting to chat about something. And I don't know. I wholeheartedly believe the universe was like, deal with this because you got to cut it out. And then it did.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2600.574

It like re-triggered my, I got to be good for the other people on the show. It's not fair. It's not fair to your friends and performers and people who support you to bring your shit on other people.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

262.16

They're TEDx's. Yeah, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2704.426

What is this clip that you want to play?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2708.871

After you threw one at him first.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2711.193

Right, so you threw one, then he just retaliated. But that seems fair. Eye for an eye, smoke for a smoke.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2731.885

Maybe that's what it is, yeah. The bad breath has something to do with it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2735.369

It's morphing into its own thing. It's like actualizing. Yeah. It's becoming itself.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2742.395

Oh, 100%. Carlos has, the change is there. I see it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2748.96

So we gave you too much?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2752.343

Interesting. Yeah. I will say this. We had a little talk off camera. People don't know. We're working on, right now, we looked up our analytics. And we, I think, are going to play a show in jolly old England. We're working on going to London for a show. Because our fans in the UK have said, why don't you guys come to us? The first country we went to outside of the US was, well, Canada.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2776.896

But we went to Australia. And I think we owe it to our...

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2783.603

Our Londoner friends. So we're working on that right now.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2786.644

Yeah. Make a whole vacation out of it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2801.388

No, that's fine.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2851.4

So she loves what you love.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2866.223

Can we talk about that day? They took away your phone, and you were at dinner without a phone? Yeah. I've never seen that in my entire- I'm not kidding. In the 20 years I've known you, I've never seen you at a meal not on your phone.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2892.4

Yeah, if I knew you were going to Michelin, I thought you were just going to grab a snack like we've been doing. I didn't think you were going to go to a fucking sit-down Michelin restaurant. I thought, hey, grab lunch. We'll all just grab lunch, and then we'll have a nice dinner.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2951.796

This was in Sydney, right? Yeah. Do you remember the name of the place?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2959.868

It's close to that. Shout out to the Gidley in Sydney.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2963.23

It is, mate.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

2968.592

I respect the fuck out of that. That's what Chappelle does at his shows.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

300.091

That's Mr. Know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

304.634

Smart. Yeah, good for you. And then- Like a fucking idiot. You stayed up the entire flight home.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3064.432

They never end.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3066.033

You get new people every year.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3069.855

The drama. Right. I'm on season 40 of all my local sports teams.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3075.498

Except I don't like the cast on any of my sports teams.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3082.062

Well, I don't like soccer, but that's the other thing. We both love sports individually, but I'm not a soccer guy. But I like that you like it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3094.726

Because it moves so fast. I like fast-paced scoring.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3100.228

Basketball's the best. It's fast-paced scoring.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3117.647

It is. I just like to see black guys dunk. Okay.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

312.358

Watch me, watch me. I said, stay up on the first leg, on the second leg, eat the dinner, and then last as long as you can to match up with the LA clock and go to bed, because then it'll be nighttime. Then when you wake up, it'll be noon in LA when we wake up and get to LA, but it'll actually kind of be our sleep schedule. We'll think it's like 9 or 10 a.m., which I go, that'll work perfectly.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3125.192

Oh, then I definitely don't like them. Oh, were they really? Yeah. Were they really? I didn't know that. It's awesome. Wow, I didn't know that. So they were the first team to have black players?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3137.88

A little bit of blacklash from that. So this is a photo here. This is a photo of McCone in bed with, who is that? That's my mom. Now, what are you doing in bed with?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3146.646

Where'd you get that?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3148.247

A fan. Wow.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3155.712

Well, can we just put it up at the studio here? I want it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3159.875

Behind my mom. Yeah. I mean, you definitely have that photo.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3165.183

Well, can we print out a real nice one? That looks like shit. I want that one. Okay, we'll give you that one. Yeah. Can I see it?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3177.946

What do you guys think? What do you say? Is it close? Is it close? I hate you. I'm bubby mom. I love your mom too so much. I actually miss her and I'm coming out to Phoenix. Can you line it up?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3196.808

Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3214.466

With the glasses?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3226.141

Wait, is it jetskyjohnson.com? Is that up, your merch? Yes. Right now, go look at it. Let me pull it up. Also, by the way, to the Australian fans that asked us why the fuck we didn't bring merch, I'll tell you why. We hunted for a way to bring you guys merch. Local companies, of course, is what we'd have to use because it would cost too much to ship merch from the United States.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3242.53

And all the local companies that we tried to work with, it just wasn't going to work. So that's why. We just wasn't going to work out for us, for you guys. It wasn't cost effective or efficient for you guys to get good merch from us that we cared about to distribute to you. So we have great merch all the time on the website.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3258.64

So sorry we didn't bring anything with us, but it just wasn't going to work. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3266.704

Can you tell them?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3270.406

Michael Bay. Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3274.849

Imagine the fucking whole table just explodes. Lights on fire. You think I should go? I have no plans. From a personal perspective, do you want to come to my house?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3286.645

Nobody. My cousin and a friend or two. Yeah, maybe. You come to my house. Yeah, maybe.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3293.57

Yeah. I know your priorities. Yeah, yeah. Best friend.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3300.475

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, my assumption, the reason I didn't invite you to Thanksgiving, honestly, my assumption is you would not want to do that.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

331.608

I was up during the meal. I see him. I watch across the aisle. He's on his iPad, and you can hear him. I can hear him laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I go to bed, right? I wake up from bed feeling good, take a piss. He's still up, still on his iPad, and I know he hasn't fallen asleep. Still giggling. In the exact same position.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3315.931

I agree.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3319.834

We talked about inviting you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3321.795

And my wife was like, do you want to invite Bob? I said, yeah, but I don't think he would like this kind of thing. Because I don't know. You know, traditionally.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3332.762

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want you at the house. I'm going, I'm going. No, go to Michael Bay's, please, please. Now that I think about it.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3338.186

There's cranberry sauce on the ceiling? Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3356.712

Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3357.492

Stand up. Stand up. For real. Just stand up. You don't have to do anything else but stand up. We can see it. It's an obvious difference. Can you or no? Yes. Be honest. We've said it every fucking day.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3369.515

Wait a minute. What did you say, Carlos? You can't tell?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3385.181

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you literally can. And also, let's stop plugging Ozempic. It's fucking Wegovi.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3390.983

It's the other one. Oh, okay. The amount of people that commented on my Instagram about you, they were let down because they thought you were on Ozempic, and so they were too. Yeah. But now you're on Wegovi, and now people were like, fuck, I got to switch.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3406.787

You bad boy.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3410.268

The smeglitude, but it is working. Everyone on tour has said that. There was a few ladies that said that on tour. I mean, it was just true. The truth is the truth.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3421.391

Yeah, just don't. Bobby wants it because he wants to be, say it with me. Hollywood. Ripped.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3430.202

Jacked. Ripped and jacked. What did you say in the van? You'll see. You'll see. You'll see. And that's the name of the special. You'll see. Be jacked. Absolute jacked and ripped. And you know what? I think you're on your way. I mean, you're definitely losing the weight. Are you late night snacking?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3446.749

No. Look at me. Nothing. Not even like a Kit Kat or a Chippy?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

351.313

Exact same position. Then I go back again. I'm stretching a little bit. I'm thinking he probably is asleep now. Wide awake.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3530.663

You didn't think it was the penis thing?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3533.864

Well, they might have been threatened.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3540.486

Well, because it's kind of hard to, your cock is right there, so they might want to save the excitement for when they don't see your cock.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3547.888

That would be so funny, dude.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3553.685

You do get excited when people notice you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3560.19

It's been so long. Have you gone?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3562.511

I love it though. I want to go back. You want to go tonight? You're going every day?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

357.935

Not one hour of sleep on 15-hour flight. Ha, ha, ha. And now what's happening?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3571.866

Yeah, there's a section. It's like men and women. You would go in your own section. Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3580.731

Can I ask you something? Yeah. I'm not trying to start anything at all. Yeah. Are there trans people in the saunas? No. Okay. That's a real. So there was a controversy at WeSpot.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3633.095

Not late at night, but yes.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3635.298

Sometimes? Oh, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

364.147

I know. See, I told you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3669.891

A trans woman with presence of a nude individual with a penis, most commonly believed as a trans woman. The women's changing area of the spa. The video went viral, attracting significant attention from gender critical feminists, also termed trans exclusionary. Oh, TERFs. Right. And some media, which led to protests and counter protests.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3685.957

Some media outlets initially questioned whether or not the alleged incident had been a hoax. they reported again the transgender woman was charged with indecent exposure relating to the alleged incident after four women and one minor girl filed police reports in July. Suspect is awaiting trial on seven counts of exposure.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

369.031

Right. Right. You should. I would rather.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3702.977

And finally, judge ruled that the indecent exposure case could proceed, citing the testimony of two witnesses and the individual in question had partial or full erection. for a duration of 30 to 60 minutes during the incident. That's a bummer. It's a bummer to have a boner. But that spa is phenomenal. I mean, if I could walk around there hard, I would.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

372.314

I would rather. You know what? I'd rather this for you. I like this. I know you do.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3722.513

Imagine taking a fucking blue chew then going to Wii Spa.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3728.157

That's right.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3730.539

Yes.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3736.909

You're saying they're just in their removal of the... I mean, because I know that there's always little girls and little boys.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3759.119

It's hard for your kid to see someone else's penis. This kid only sees my penis. My kid sees my penis.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3768.768

I know.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3769.809

Do you remember the first time you saw your dad's penis, by the way?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3776.596

Okay. You should have did. I remember the moment I see my dad's penis. I mean, what a bummer.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3783.323

What? You almost did, so you didn't.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3792.026

How old were you?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3799.389

Wow, a nudist colony. Different life. Are there any nudist colonies in Southern California? Welcome to Southern California's premier family nudist resort and RV park located halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. Glen Eden is nestled 154 acres with the base of the Cleveland National Forest. We're the perfect combination for a resort for amenities and nature. Dude, we have to go to this.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

381.93

Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3819.537

And look, it's a Korean woman on the photo. Glen Eden Sun Club here in Southern California is the largest member-owned nudist and resort club. I am joining.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3829.881

Because, dude, clothes are so fucking dumb.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

384.13

That's right, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3842.625

Hello, partner. You know what I mean? No, no, I'm saying retire here. I don't think you should grow up here. I want to retire here.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

385.57

That's right.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3850.788

Don't you hate laundry? Yeah. Imagine never doing laundry again. And every day waking up, eating naked, swimming naked, hanging out naked. Not worrying about it. You love the Wii Spa naked in the sauna. Imagine if that's every day.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3865.773

And because you've got a nice little cock who cares. Run around with it. What's the difference? And they do Toys for Tots. That's great. They do blood drives. I mean, this place is fantastic. Yeah. And look at this. They're plant-based. You can go vegan there if you feel like it. I'm in. Call us up. Call us up. There's just some things you can't do naked.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3887.699

Well, I'm sure, I mean, before anything, clothes were probably for fucking warmth. And protection. And protection. And then it became about puritanical fucking ideologies of covering up parts of your body.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3900.026

Yeah. Look, they got the first shoe in Africa between 30,000 and 120,000 years ago. Oh, just a small gap. Between 30,000 and 120,000 years ago. Early clothing was made from animal skins and fur and leaves and grass and wrapped, draped, tied around the body. Clothing changed with wealth.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3918.497

I mean, I just think like, you know, there was a point when nudity in the summer was chill and somebody didn't like it. Some small dick weirdo was like, we should cover up.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3931.133

You know what I mean? Some small dick loser in the community was like, I don't like to see other guys' penises. It's gross. And everybody's like, what are you talking about?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3938.337

Everyone has their penis out.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

394.972

Good.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3940.098

I think it's gross.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3943.64

Right, right, right. Leroy, as soon as Leroy. I don't like when Jermaine comes over for dinner. I don't like it. Your wife is like, what's the problem? He's not my kind of guy. Some fucking huge cock guy moved into a community and then all these fucking insecure dudes were like, we should wear clothing. I don't like that that's out.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

3973.611

And by the way, that's how Hacienda started. Little community. Where they're like, that's where the Asians are, that's where the whites are, that's where the black dudes are.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

4002.914

Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

401.334

Yeah, a little bit.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

4016.08

They'd be excited at first. Yeah, yeah. Because we'd look like we're like a group of aliens. Yeah, yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

4020.943

And different colors, too. Imagine. No. A Korean and a redhead and black eyes. Yeah. You know what I would do? And we start rapping. Right. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

4029.907

imagine how happy they'd be to hear rap right because they would go yeah they would start going along yeah they would hear the rhythm yeah that'd be cool dude one of the cavemen starts fucking robotting and then they kill us and eat us and wear the clothes if you would you ever eat human if you had or have you if you had to

Bad Friends

Rat Island

4065.765

What if you got into a plane accident and you crashed in the Andes Mountains, but you still were taking your Ozempic to curb your appetite for humans? Like, you would just- Oh, I would definitely do that. You would just double down on it. Oh, double down on it. Then you're like, well, I'm not that hungry. Right. And everyone's like, how are you? How are you doing this?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

414.824

Because you resent the fact that I'm younger than you, but no more than you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

422.71

God bless.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

428.214

That's not true. I said. He couldn't do that.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

432.627

He can't beat me in ping pong. How about this? I can't play piano and he's beautiful. Piano, ping pong. Ping pong, I can beat you. Get a table.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

446.405

Tennis, we might be more evenly matched.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

451.191

I grew up with it. And that was 40 years ago. It doesn't matter.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

458.194

There's no phrase that's, hey, it's just like tennis. Once you learn, you never not learn. There is no tennis phrase. Yes, it goes to tennis. It's just like hitting a tennis ball. Yeah, yeah. Once you know, you know. Once you know, you know. Yeah, yeah. We did ride a beautiful bike around Rottnest Island and had a gorgeous day at Rottnest Island. We did. Probably one of our best days.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

476.062

Incredible, right? Why? Why?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

5.791

Try Huel with 15% off today using code BADFRIENDS at my.huel.com slash BADFRIENDS.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

504.475

They look like little Andres. Yeah.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

515.759

Yeah, Jim Jefferies.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

597.257

I'm ready to take a fucking photo. Yeah, yeah. No, but see, this is what I appreciate about you. You waited till you felt like it was time. And guess what?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

604.32

That photo is proof that if you wait, good things will come. Because a lot of people got a lot of bad photos of them with quokkas not looking at them. You, on the other hand, have a picture-perfect picture with quokka-pukka-pukka-pukka-pukka.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

619.205

It was unbelievable.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

622.166

The proof is in the pudding, kiddo. If you wait, good things will come. Don't call me kiddo anymore. All right, baby doll. I think it's kind of funny. We got a lot of love down there in Australia and we want to thank- It was probably- Yeah, go ahead.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

637.663

No, no. That's it. I just want to say we want to thank our fans.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

640.806

Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. I just want to say that I want to thank- Cut me off again. Probably- There it is. Oh. Oh. I want to thank all the fans from Down Under. It was one of the best experiences we've ever had. I mean it. It was un-fucking-real. It was so cool. It was so fun. Life-changing. Life-changing. We had people come to the show that are actor friends of ours that came.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

662.403

Oh, can we talk about that?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

667.222

What do I care? You already made fun of me half of the trip about it. I got mocked incessantly. Even though what did Andrew provide except for great recommendations for food and hangout spots and cool things to see. But that's okay. But make fun of me more. It's fine.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

681.857

You're right. I'd actually prefer it if you did. If you did. Go ahead and make fun of me.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

690.313

I asked you to close the shows because I wasn't feeling good.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

694.577

Because usually we switch off.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

696.958

And I said, will you end up closing some of these shows, please?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

710.611

You closed every other show.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

715.156

I just wanted to close one of the shows.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

753.058

Well, they came to see me because they're not a fan of you.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

757.671

No, no, no.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

758.832

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I'm just being honest. Yay. Do you like the honesty now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They all were like, I don't really care about Bobby. I don't like his stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I said, would you guys like me to go last? Right, right. I'd prefer it. Yeah. Less of him, more of you. But whatever. No, no, I just want to tell you the truth. Whatever the reason.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

76.222

Also, I heard you laugh in the middle of it too.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

774.644

If you like the truth. Whatever. I love the truth. No, no, no. If you like this little truth game. I love the truth. They all literally said, we're not fans of Bobby Lee.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

780.748

Both comedically, personally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, that's rude.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

795.5

Yeah, I don't think so. They go, we're not... That's just not our style. And I said...

Bad Friends

Rat Island

804.064

No, it doesn't matter. They're going to see me anyway. They saw me anyway. Because you hate it if I do too much time. You bitch about it every time. So if I go second, then you're not going to complain to me. Right.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

82.944

It was very good.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

821.132

No, no, no. The truth really is. I thought, okay, if they're coming to see, I'm not going to have you get upset at me because I did too much time in the front. So I was like, let me close the show so I don't hear it from you because every show we've ever done, if I do too much time and there's proof in the booth, you do get mad. Are you going to be honest and say that that's true?

Bad Friends

Rat Island

838.45

Yes, because you go. Let me ask. Can I ask? I hear backstage you going like this. He's doing too much time. He's always doing too much time. Okay. These guys, they rat you out. They rat you out. Let me say something. Let me tell you something. The reason why. Rat him out. I'm sorry.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

910.411

Back me up.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

916.577

No, but let me stomp the truth real fast. Okay, good. Two things. Real fast. Real fast. One, clearly they never said that about you. You know I'm joking. You know that I'm joking. I just ratted myself out? No, no.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

938.494

Don't do that. He knows everything. He knows everything, dude. Mr. Know-it-all. Can I finish something? Yeah, yeah. Two things. Go ahead. One, they never said it about you because you know that they're all in love with you. I made that up as a joke. But two, to love. Who? Dakota fanning them? All of them. Of course he didn't! I know, but let me level this. Let me level this.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

954.623

To make this even more fair. That is true. I did want to go second because I did not want you to get mad at me about the time. And then, to make both of these things together, these guys will also tell you, the rat fucking scumbag loser fuckheads, that they'll tell you the exact same thing that I say about you when you're on stage. I go, I don't know why he doesn't go second.

Bad Friends

Rat Island

973.012

He's crushing and I don't want to go after that. Do I not say that to you? So yes. Okay. So the same thing you say to them, I say to them about you as well. Okay. So, so we're good. We're good. Who are we really mad at?