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Bad Friends

Rudy's Fantastic Fail

Mon, 18 Nov 2024

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LAST CHANCE Watch "Scary Times USA" before Friday at https://www.moment.co/badfriends Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: Huel, BiOptimizers, Shopify, Manscaped & PDS Debt • Huel: Try Huel with 15% OFF today using code BADFRIENDS at https://my.huel.com/BADFRIENDS. Fuel your best performance with Huel today! • BiOptimizers: Go to https://bioptimizers.com/badfriends and use code BADFRIENDS to get your discount and free gifts today! • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • Manscaped: Get The Chairman™ Pro Package today and experience a shave that is as smooth as you deserve. Get 20% off + free shipping with the code BADFRIENDS at https://manscaped.com. • PDS Debt: Get a free debt analysis right now at https://pdsdebt.com/free-debt-assessment/?ref=badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: Who are the main hosts of the podcast?

106.458 - 110.939 Andrew Santino

That's a small colony. I never get invited to those parties, do you? I did get invited, but I couldn't make it. Can I be 102?

0

110.999 - 111.4 Bobby Lee

No, it's okay.

0

113.755 - 122.28 Andrew Santino

Imagine being 102. A woman films aftermath of sleeping with 101 men in just 14 hours. Wow. You gotta be exhausted. Yeah. You gotta be exhausted.

0

122.34 - 124.482 Bobby Lee

Would you rather be 102 or 1?

0

124.782 - 134.129 Andrew Santino

How much would I have to pay you to sleep in that bed when it's done with 101 guys? I mean, honestly, for one night, would you sleep in that bed? Wenn ich in der Sache war, ja.

134.249 - 141.792 Bobby Lee

Nein, nein, nein. Ich werde nicht da schlafen, wenn ich nicht da war. Sie sagen, du bist nicht Teil davon. Wie lustig, aber. Und dann bin ich so, ja.

141.812 - 153.317 Andrew Santino

Das ist eine gute Fantasie-Football-Punsch. Du verlierst in deiner Fantasie-Liga. Du musst schlafen in der Bettung von 101 Jungs. Zoom ein bisschen. Das ist schrecklich. Wer ist das Orgie?

155.538 - 155.738 Bobby Lee

Blue Chew.

180.947 - 200.263 Andrew Santino

Yes, you are. She's actually very hot. I'm blue-chewing it. She's pretty hot. But you know what's so crazy about this? You just called me out a week ago about this, about being a clean freak. You know me. I'd be waiting in line for the gangbang, cleaning up after everybody. Oh, I know. Guys, please don't leave all this stuff. Especially if it's at your house? Oh, please. Oh, my God.

Chapter 2: What shocking statistic about relationships is discussed?

Chapter 3: What is the outrageous claim about a viral TikTok video?

567.334 - 568.394 Andrew Santino

Es ist ein schlechtes Neg.

0

568.434 - 582.997 Bobby Lee

Ja. Es ist wie ein schlechtes Flirten. Es ist ein scheiß Flirten. Also sitze ich in der Audienz, watching Andrew performen. Und es war eine ziemlich attraktive Frau neben mir. Und während eines deiner Jokes sind Leute lachen. Und sie kommt zu mir und sagt, dein Freund ist heiß. Und weißt du, was ich tat? Ich habe gesagt,

0

586.704 - 601.315 Bobby Lee

It was just an instinctual, like... Was this a girl that you were with or just a random girl? Some random girl, but I just wanted, like, if I could spit out poison. Yeah, you would. You know what I mean? Blind her. I had a rattle, dude. I went out. Right in her neck.

0

601.335 - 604.398 Juicy

You know what I mean? Like a scorpion. Right in the neck, dude. You're very buff, D2N. Oh, fuck off!

0

605.148 - 632.542 Andrew Santino

I love you, Ruud. You know what? Let me say this. Oh, here we go. I'll say this. I love our fans more than anything. I thank them graciously. It means the world to me. People may think that I'm like shut down or cold, but if you know me, you know I'm not. I just have a demeanor that has so much trauma. and damage that I just feel a little blank sometimes. So people don't know.

633.082 - 643.024 Andrew Santino

I would love to say hi and smile at you, but when I walk around town, maybe I look a little... And that's because I'm a broken, shattered dude.

643.064 - 651.846 Bobby Lee

Backstage, too, I like to observe other people that aren't familiar with comics and stuff. And they get a little nervous around you.

651.866 - 652.806 Andrew Santino

Only because I'm so kind of stuck.

652.826 - 658.137 Bobby Lee

I know, but I see people going... You know what I mean? It's like, what's going on?

Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to gang bangs?

847.275 - 858.363 Bobby Lee

Sie will einen Kuck-König, nicht wahr? Ja. Ja. Black and White Fountains. Erinnerst du dich an die Zeit, wenn es ein weißer Fountain war, konntest du es nicht trinken. Was meinst du? Oh, du meinst die Segregation. In den 60ern. Ja, Segregation. Segregation. Ja, ja, ja.

0

858.424 - 872.807 Andrew Santino

Guck dir das an. Ich meine, die Farbe ist besser. Ja. Nein, das ist nicht so. Nein, das weiße ist, wenn du deinen Pinsel in der Mitte drückst. Ja, ja. Aber stell dir vor... Das ist so schrecklich. Das ist ein Teil unserer fucking Geschichte. Die Geschichte, Alter. Sie würden nicht Wasser mit Blacken teilen. Das ist so fucking verrückt.

0

872.827 - 873.507 Bobby Lee

Das ist so verrückt.

0

873.547 - 874.448 Andrew Santino

Das ist verrückter Scheiß.

0

874.468 - 889.651 Bobby Lee

Oder wenn sie nicht mal sitzen konnten, wie bei einem Restaurant, wie bei einer Diner-Tafel. Oder sie hatten ihre eigene Seite. Sie würden nicht mal rein gehen. Einige, ja, natürlich. Wie einige der Jazz-Dokumentare. Wir gehen nicht zurück. Ja, ja. Please don't go back there.

889.731 - 893.074 Fancy

I have some historical context here.

893.134 - 918.841 Bobby Lee

Some of these jazz bands would go into a town, play a hotel, but they couldn't stay there. I know, right. Did I say this already? What would happen is... You know, Count Bassey or whatever would go with his band, right? They couldn't stay there, but their wives would go into the black neighborhood while they're on stage and ask the residents, the bands in town, can they stay?

918.881 - 937.398 Bobby Lee

So then they would coordinate like, yeah, yeah, Little Slim, you know what I mean? And Jackie Eyes can sleep here, you know what I mean? And Frankie the Midget, you know what I mean? Trombone Tony can sleep here, you know what I mean? And they would all... You know Trombone Tony. I love him. He's so good. He's got little toes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little toes, Trombone Tony. And squeaky peak.

938.039 - 945.809 Bobby Lee

Squeaky peak and whatever. And then after the show, the wives would come back and go, we got you a place to stay. That's insane. Yeah, that was a reality.

Chapter 5: What anecdote does Bobby share about an audition?

2485.869 - 2489.75 Andrew Santino

Rühre es tief in den Rücken. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich es brauche.

0

2489.77 - 2494.511 Bobby Lee

Ich brauche eine Massage dafür. Es ist nur eine tiefe Haut.

0

2494.551 - 2506.566 Andrew Santino

Es hat nichts mit Muskeln zu tun. Diese Haut ist nie auf deinem Rücken ausgeschlossen. Du musst nicht auf deinem Rücken ausgeschlossen sein. Ich mache den Lufa-Stick. Ich mache Sand-Angels. Ja, ja. Ja.

0

2530.401 - 2530.821 Fancy

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0

2550.708 - 2550.848 Fancy

Ja.

2550.868 - 2557.935 Andrew Santino

Okay, das ist viel. Das ist viel. Ja, ja. Und dann bin ich am Ende mit der oberen Hälfte, mit Gesicht und Haar. Ja, Jules, Jules.

2557.955 - 2566.382 Juicy

Ich mache nur Haar, Shampoo, Konditioner, und dann Körper, und dann Gesicht, und dann brusche ich meine Zähne, und dann ist das alles.

2566.422 - 2571.467 Andrew Santino

Oh, eigentlich, weißt du was? Ich habe verletzt. Das erste, was ich tue, ist, meine Zähne in den Schauer zu bruschen. Brust du deine Zähne in den Schauer?

2571.487 - 2571.547 Juicy

Ja.

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