This was filmed on December 17th, 2024. We are saddened by the events in Los Angeles and hope that all impacted can get the help they need from these devestating wildfires. Tonight we have the Whiskey Ginger himself, Andrew Santino, he joins the guys in Downtown LA in Sam's hotel room the day of the taping for Netflix Roast 2024. Great moments ahead, glad you chose to hang with us tonight! Support the show and sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/drunk Support the show and get 20% off your Chubbies order with promo code DRUNKS at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/ Subscribe to We Might Be Drunk: https://bit.ly/SubscribeToWMBD WMBD Merch: https://wemightbedrunkpod.com/ WMBD Clips Page: https://bit.ly/WMBDClips Check out Andrew on the road near you: https://www.andrewsantino.com Sam Morril: YouTube Channel: @sammorril Instagram: https://instagram.com/sammorril Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/sammorril/tickets Mark Normand: YouTube Channel: @marknormand Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marknormand Tickets/Tour: https://punchup.live/marknormand/tickets We Might Be Drunk is produced by Gotham Production Studios https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/ @GothamProductionStudios Producer Matt Peters: https://www.instagram.com/mrmatthewpeters #wemightbedrunk #marknormand #sammorril #podcast #drunkpodcast #comedy #comedian #funny #gothampodcast
Oh, the casting couch.
Whose room is this?
It's me. I'm a pig. I'm sorry. This is how you live, huh? That's how I travel.
Okay, I gotta tell you guys something, man. Uh-oh.
Yeah? Save it.
This is very, um... Save it, save it.
Okay. Unless it's not pod-worthy.
No, I was just making fun of you.
Oh, please.
Please. Save it, then. Zing.
Zing.
Staying here.
How about that Shalamu on Theo, huh? That's quite a get. What happened? He got Timothee Shalamu. Oh, yeah. Tim Shalamy.
Yeah, that's fucking... Well, dude, he got the president elected, so, you know. What's Shalamay if you get the president elected? Good point. What, uh... Are we hugging close here? Look at my voice, huh? I love it. You're the only guys I know that'll... Is that young MJ? Look at that. That's pretty cool. How great is that? Oh, Bronny. Oh, watch it, dude.
Watch it, dude.
No, his son is actually more accomplished. His son fucked Larsa Pippen.
Wow, that's right.
So cool to fuck your ex-teammates. Your father's ex-teammate's ex-wife. It's pretty dark. But didn't she... Are we rolling? Yeah, we're rolling. What the hell? Didn't she jump around a lot? She jumped around. Good for her.
I'm sure it's her revenge tour because he was doing it during the playing days and she's like, I'll get you back.
I'll get you back.
Take it to the hole.
Good for her. Dude. Nothing but net.
Oh, yeah.
You guys are the only guys I know that'll stay downtown Los Angeles.
Well, nobody stays down. They put us here.
We weren't thrilled. Netflix. Netflix. Yeah, seems like it. That sounds like a Netflix move.
Put him in a place that no one lives and nobody goes. CISO put us in Covina. That is too inside. Yeah, that's very inside baseball. That's inside LA and inside baseball.
No, this is a bad... I did Is It Cake a while back and they put me up in a shady fucking downtown. Is It Cake? You walk two feet out and you're just like, ugh.
Needles, a bump. This is like, this genuinely is like as if somebody put, if I went to New York and they're like, yeah, we got you a great place out in Long Island. That's what this is like.
Exactly. Is that bad? It was just nobody goes down here. Tim Dillon said this is the fifth time he's been downtown Los Angeles and he's lived here for years. Well, no, he comes for different reasons.
There's a little walking strip for him down there. Down by Staples. There's a little boys town. Did you go by Staples? Or what is it called now? Kobe Center? Crypto. Oh, shit.
I didn't even know you were talking.
It's right down the street. Damn. Wow, it is. No, this is really nice. No, downtown's gotten nicer, but we still refuse to go down here. There's nothing here for us.
I tweeted about the show. Like, come to the Netflix table. And everybody's like, downtown? Are you crazy?
Oh, it's happening down here?
Yeah, that's why we're here.
Three minutes away. Smart. Smart for Netflix. Good for Netflix, dude. Good to be here, boys. The jokes were good last night. Thank you. I love working on them. Dude, it's funny to watch you guys go through it and then have you smack each other when you're like, see, that did work. Yeah.
Because we were writing together the whole flight.
But it is funny that you were like certain jokes. See, I have no back on this. I'm like going to fall in this window. Can I scoot this thing over or no? Is it out of frame?
Because I'm like falling through this thing. Oh, yeah, you got no back. Hold on. You're going to pull an Eric Clapton's kid right out the window. Tears in heaven?
Yes.
There we go.
I heard that song in the grocery store the other day. It's a depressing grocery store song.
Brutal. Tears in heaven. Depends on what you're shopping for. If you're really having a low... We'll wait. We'll wait. Hold on. Sorry. I had to move, but I had to have a back because otherwise I'm going to fall backwards through the... Still better than when you hear a whap at the dentist. No, I love that. That gets me ready for a teeth cleaning, too.
Got to suck that liquid. How about this? We're growing up. You came here at 11 a.m. I wouldn't do anything at 11 a.m. four years ago.
See, I've always been this way. I'm not like the comic. I don't sleep in until 2 or 3 p.m. Really? I don't do it. No. I don't know why. I get up at like 7.30 every day. Wow. Really?
What about the drinking nights?
100%.
It's over. It's good for the organs. Dude, I'm 41 years old. I'm not trying to be cool anymore. I'm done. I play with my dog. I go on the cold plunge. I play with my dog in the morning. How cold do you make it? So, it's set at 40... Anywhere from 46 to 49, I think, is the highest. It's not that bad. No. When it's 42 is my like... Right above 40 is like... That's when it gets you.
Your dick disappears. It's in my body. It's cool to see how small your dick can get. It's amazing. I already know. I don't need the plunge. If I was going to get into a fight in this day and age, I'd want to get into a cold plunge first. Get your dick close to your body. My dick looks like a puppy's tail.
It's brutal. A little wag, like a chop tail. It is nice that your body's like, hey, we're going to protect your dick in this time of trauma. Dude, your balls go way up.
That's nice. It is kind of cool. It's scary when they kind of go in your body.
They go in your body, yeah.
It's weird. For safety, dude.
It's kind of like when your kid gets molested and he blocks it out. Repressed memory.
You want to tell us something? Sure. It was 81. You weren't touched as a kid, were you?
I wish I was.
Come on, tell me the truth.
No, I don't think so. I had a lot of intruders in the house.
Yeah, because you had that house that's like the house of horror. You had like a haunted house of... Completely.
I think there was a guy at my house once and like walked by my bed and I pushed it out because I dream about that all the time.
I went to your city. I was just in New Orleans. Great city. Interesting.
It's got ups and downs.
Tough comedy city, but great city.
Tough comedy city. comedy city i don't know why it's so weird how'd it go did you sell any tickets i did a little bit we chat we texted because i was like dude i can't sell your city for some reason like the whole tour is sold out and i couldn't i did fine i think i ended up like eight that's me thank you and i don't want to share with you not after what you did last night yeah
I think it was like 80 something, 89, 90%.
Oh, that's good for New Orleans. That's huge.
Yeah, dude. It was so hard, but the crowd was great. So I was like, I don't know. I think the people that do come out really, really want to see comedy. Yeah. But I think it just doesn't have it embedded in the culture. No. There's not a comedy club. No, I know, but there's never have been. There has been, right?
They open and close.
What's the main, what's that main drag? The parade was going on down there. Bourbon. No, no, no, not Bourbon Street. The bigger one. It's a four lane canal. Yeah. That is like Grand Theft Auto Live, dude. That's insane. It's gross. It's wild. We went to get my Laura Peek, who opens with me. I love Peek. Dude, she's so good. She's great. She wanted to go get some smokes.
And I said, all right, let's go. So we go out. We're going to go get lunch and get some cigarettes. And I was like, dude. Let's just postmate it. I don't want to be on the canal. It was chaos. It's wild. It's zombie daylight, fentanyl slumping. Yes. And they're all yelling at you. See, the homeless here don't yell at you.
The trick is to just jog everywhere.
Yes, I'm sprinting everywhere.
Because they're not going to mug you when you're jogging.
That's true.
They're like, I don't want to deal with that. It's not worth it.
It's true. Yeah.
Yeah.
no it was a fun city but it's also um it's it's so interesting man yeah yeah so we it's just a i can't figure it out like i can't wrap my head around what's it called the funeral like the second line the cemetery where they did easy rider you know oh yeah that's we passed out i'm like that's fucking crazy just it's just a cemetery just like above above ground mausoleums because of the flooding yeah yeah it'll happen again
Yeah, during Katrina there were bodies floating. Wow. It's a voodoo.
Anybody you knew? Anybody you recognized floating around?
Andrew Jackson and Paul Perdomo and Emeril was in there, I think. Emeril Lagasse? He's gone? No, he's still around. He will be. Yeah. I mean, that cholesterol is coming.
Bam! He's like one of the fat ones. You got to be a fat. Well, Bobby Flay is like in great shape. See, I don't trust a skinny chef.
Skinny chef is a weird. Exactly. If you're a female chef and you're skinny, fine. But if you're a fat, if you're a skinny male chef, I just, I don't, I don't know. What are you focusing on? Exactly.
pussy yeah Bobby Flay Bobby Flay shows like one chef and one young actress he's fucking to the judges yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't like it his daughter is like a famous something somebody told me I don't know if she's a chef or something but she's famous something and she's apparently good looking so she's next to me he's a hunk
Wasn't his ex-wife was the hot lady from Law and Order, right? Oh, that's right.
Mariska Hargitay? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. The blonde one. Yeah, I don't remember her name. The DA.
He wasn't pulling detective poon.
He was pulling DA poon. Entry, entry level. You got to move up. Dude, boys, how's the bodega cat? Hey, we're cooking. We're in the store now. The factory. We finished the bottle in my studio.
Yeah, I don't know why I said all right. It's moving for sure. Like, Laugh Factory, Improv, and Comedy Store are all going to...
come on seriously yeah that's great man that is fantastic no i think it's it's funny because it's like starting a brand starting your own is so tough and i know burt and tom tried to they're doing vodka i think yeah yeah we appreciate it i mean they burt even said he's like we don't want to step on you guys with the whiskey so we're doing vodka which you know come on that's very nice stuff i have zero interest in vodka oh i like a vodka i like a martini but like but then but the real martini people will tell you you're fooling yourself it's not a martini with vodka it's only a martini with gin yeah
Vodka is an alcoholic's drink. Ain't that the truth. Yeah, it's fake. It takes on the taste of whatever you put it with. So it's a fake drink. Oh, interesting. I think liquor has to be, it has to be flavored and cultured enough on its own that you should be able to enjoy it on its own. If it's good liquor.
No personality.
Right. Vodka is boring.
Yeah.
Vodka is a skinny female chef.
Oh, that's good. There's nothing there. Wow. It's like a stable stripper. I don't like it.
What are we talking about? I need some trauma. I need some mental illness. It's like a hooker that chats too much.
Get the business.
Yeah. Vodka just goes with whatever it's with, which is why I never, even like in high school, when people go get like a bottle of vodka to put with like a mixer, I was always like, not interested. You just go get me some dark stuff.
It's a little amateur, but the hangover is better. For vodka? Yeah, clear is better.
If you're drinking good vodka, not if you're drinking pop-off or some shit.
I'll have me some pop-off, though. That's good dirty boy stuff. That's when you want to disappear into the night and the moon comes up and goes, let's go to bed, dude.
By the way, Chatty Hooker, they should have the Uber thing where they go, do you want a conversation or no? That should be a prereq.
And what does it say on the Uber now that it says like, you know how they tell you that they're deaf or whatever? Yes. Yeah. I love deaf drivers. I love deaf. Me too. Well, they're not. None of them. I've had three of them. Deaf or foreign. Yeah.
You should be able to request deaf or foreign.
Yes. Well, you know what? You notice this now is like the driver that drove me here. He's a super nice guy. And I'm on the phone talking to a friend about getting a real ID. You know, like you have to have now like your driver's license. And there's what's called a real ID here in California to be able to travel. Everyone has to have a real ID. Is that what they call it? Do you know what this is?
He's not. Yeah, you have to have a real ID at some point. They won't let you travel with your driver's license. What? What's the difference? In May of this year. Weird. It's just government verified. It's more money for the government. It's just another branch they created to get more money.
I do the digital face at the airport now. It's pretty great. I couldn't give it up, dude. I know. I'm so lazy.
Are you one of those? I can't do the digital face at the airport. Why? I don't know. Something about it freaks me out.
Well, they got your retina now.
The clear...
i do the clear the digital and i stopped doing the clear because that's a scam the tsa is just as quick as it's clear sometimes it's longer you know certain airports you never know i just i can't do it but she was talking about the getting the real id or whatever and then i'm i'm like what's the difference and then the driver turns around and shows me he's like this is real id has a california bear on the top right corner he's like talking while he's driving he's listening to my whole conversation oh should have gotten the deaf guy
I know. Don't get the idea. We had that last night.
Mark and I were going through the set, and we're literally going back and forth, and this guy keeps going, what's going on with the cops? We're like, why would we know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's that our thing? I know. We're trying to go over jokes. Yeah. Leave me alone. You guys did great last night, though. That Netflix thing is going to be fun. I hope so.
It's going to be good because you guys are in it. Thanks. We'll see. Yeah, no, it will be. It's got to be. It's not live. Is it live? Live crowd, taped, edited.
Taped, taped. We were nervous because we pushed...
dane cook setback too and we're like we don't want to be the new york guys doing that shit right it was eight minutes i know but we don't we've never met him either so we after the set we gave the hey man how are you know we try to charm him a little bit he was fine he didn't care i mean yeah he was i don't care he doesn't care about he was very nice but we just you know don't we all know by now though comedy's never on time
ain't that the truth especially in la yeah it's like it's never on time yeah well the seller sometimes if i'm in new york for a while and they send me those like sets and like man these are so close to each other but then you're like it's not it's never gonna happen on time 20 minutes add an extra 25 every time it's never on time we did uh chocolate sundaes oh my god speaking of late dude we did laugh factory i hope we can find the footage of us running the roast set at laugh factory and d ray davis's show last night it was bad talk about fucking bombing
At Chocolate Sundaes? We were just bombing.
T-Ray show at Improv.
Oh, what's that one called? It's got to have a fun name. It doesn't.
I think it was called Sickle Cell.
I can't remember.
It was something crazy.
Glaucoma Presents.
It was called You Should Not Have Said That. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hate it. Dude, we got off. What was the line the guy, last night, what did the guy say to you when we were getting off stage? Oh, man. This is the worst fucking part.
So we had a rough bomb and I'm walking off stage and this black guy's with his wife and he goes, dude, dude, you're in a show, right? You're in a show. And I jokingly said, to catch a predator. He goes, that's it.
That's how bad a set it was. He was like, this guy's only work.
Yeah. I love when a black dude will recognize me, but not know where I'm from. Like I was on a plane and he was standing, you know, I'm sitting down and I'm looking on my phone and he's in line boarding the plane and he goes, yo, hey, yo. And then I looked up and he goes, you that dude from that? Yo, you that dude, right? And I was like, oh, hey, man.
You know what I'm trying to, because it's, you know what I mean? Like, it's a quiet, but I'm like, yeah. And it's like 1030 in the morning. Right. And then he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, bro, bro. And he turns and his buddy is in the, still in the, what is that called? The, you know, the. The jetway. The jetway. Yeah, he's still on the jet bridge.
And he turns into the jet bridge and goes, hey, yo. Is that dude from the... Come on, man. Come here. And his boy looks up and he goes, yo, that is that dude. But it made me feel good. Was it Lil Dicky's show, you think? Probably, yeah, 100%. That's got to be it. Yeah, he doesn't know me from anything else. That show was huge. It was. You were great on that show. You're an act, man.
It was all right. It was fun. It's over now. Wait, this is funny. This reminds me of when I first moved to L.A. at the improv. It used to be called Mo' Better Mondays. I think that was D-Ray's old show. I don't know who did it. That might have been it. But it was MoBeta Mondays, and I was like 23 or 22 years old.
And, you know, when you're first in the club scene, you don't know how to, you know, you're like, I'm a comedian. Is it okay if I just hang out somewhere? Sure. And the door guys are like, get the fuck out of here. Like, they don't want, you know, they don't care. Yeah. And the guy was like, yeah, you could just go sit by the bar. And I was like, okay.
And he's like, but get in line over here first. And I was like, oh, what is this? He's like, you got to go through the metal detector. And I went through the metal detector. They made me take off my pockets. I was like, I've never seen this before. And I sit at the bar and Eddie, who's not there anymore, a bartender, one of the best dudes.
I said to him, I go, excuse me, why is there a metal detector? And he's making drinks. He goes, it's MoBeta Mondays. Yeah. And it slipped on me. And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, it's MoBeta Mondays. And then walked away. I was like, right. Okay, right on. Right on, dude.
We had a similar thing. We walked in. The guy goes, it's going to be late. Like, you're going to be here a while.
We got a message. And we got a message. It's usually late. It's late, yeah. You usually get the, it's never late. It's usually.
It's very late, yeah.
It's a cultural thing. Oh, dude, how about Laugh Factory? Our friend Matt Herman, who runs Bodega Cat, is in the back. And he just overhears two black guys go to his girlfriend. I hear these guys are racist.
What the fuck does that even mean? I wasn't at that show. What are they talking about? That's my thing.
That's an insane thing to say.
I hear these guys are racist. Well, you're a laugh hack. You should have pulled a Kramer. Do the thing. Throwback. We thought about it. Throwback, dude.
Get a better set. He did better than we did.
That video is still embedded into everybody's brain. Forever a piece of cultural history. Was that the first viral video? It was the first cell phone thing. It was the first like... You know, you know how now everyone's got a video of someone doing something wild and you can't believe they caught it on camera. That was the first. How did you catch that on camera? Totally.
Like, how did that even get on? Like, no one was recording at shows back then.
I guess a guy whipped out a Nokia or something. I know.
Some guy was playing Snake and was like, hold on one second. I got to get this on camera. That's still to this day. We watch it. Me and a couple of buddies will send it to each other like once a year just to rewatch. It's just so funny. It's brutal. It's so wild. It's insane.
That guy from the sitcom saying that shit is crazy. To watch a man collapse, though, is kind of beautiful on stage.
And we've all been there. Yeah. Well, not there.
destroyed by a motorola razor yeah it's a throwback then tosh had that similar thing that was kind of around that too he had the the rape joke yeah oh yeah yeah but that was it but again this is like embedded in his comedy set that's true doesn't matter in a workout show and tosh had the chops it was different of course but that doesn't matter to him anyway that's like a what does he give a shit
A joke on a ride is meaningless. No, that's nothing. Especially nowadays, too. We're all throwing so much stuff out there now that it just doesn't really land.
They devour the content. It's like you can't fill that hole.
Yeah, but I think it's going to change. Something's coming. I said that to a friend the other day. I was like, something's changing, I think. Yeah, there's a fatigue. Yeah, I think people are just tired of like a billion clips and a billion crowd work clips. And I think people have seen so much now that they're checked out. I don't know what the next revolution will be, but...
I think longer, like these guys, Josh Johnson types are doing like 25 minutes.
Shows will come back. Dude, we got to ask you something, actually, because Mark met Larry, David. Yeah. Had a social interaction. I had a quick one. It was pretty good.
You were on Curb. I did an episode of Curb. Yeah, I did one episode of Curb, but it was amazing for me. It was like... Mocha Joe. I was teed up to win. Yeah, Mocha Joe's episode. I was teed up to win pretty hard. I will be honest. Like I went in there... you know, with so much ammunition because the casting director is the first, is the person that put me in my very first thing too. Wow.
She supported me a lot in my career. So she was great. She was like, this is for you to lose. All you have to do is go in and, and be yourself. Like don't screw yourself. And I knew her in the room was Larry and, One of the writers, the casting director, and then at the time, her associate, I don't even know what to call him, but he's now at Netflix, which is great. He's now moved on too.
So it was a room full of people that's like, I'm bound to win because it's just Larry's the only guy I'm trying to impress. And this is the audition. Yeah, this is the audition. And they give you a character breakdown. There's no scene. They just tell you what the details of the character are. Wow.
this one was i actually originally auditioned for the guy whose um dog was adolf did you oh yeah remember that yeah his dog's name was adolf and you know and there's like that's a particular that's an interesting name so i auditioned for that and uh i played it up and then larry was is that when he says hail hitler yeah so good he so i played it up a little bit as the character and did like a little bit of a german accent for him and he liked it i could tell i could tell he was interested and then um
she's like takes me in the hallway and she goes give it a second she goes talk to Larry she comes back out and she's like Larry Larry's says that you don't you don't look like one of these you're a redhead like you don't like this Aryan germ it's like it's not gonna work you don't fit the look and I was like fuck all right so I was ready to get in my car and she's like no no hold on hold one second she went back in
They talked for another three minutes. She comes back out and she's like, he wants you to do this other one. Will you try this other one? Whatever. Fucking fine. So she hands me the paper. I went out into the hallway. They took one more audition. And then I was like, I'm ready. I can go now. She's like, you don't want any more time to prepare? And I was like, no, no, no. I'll do this.
So it was the guy that invented the P-cube, the urinal where the door shuts. Yes. And I went in the room and I said...
I think off the bat, I did the bit, Larry and I were just improv-ing, and I did the bit where I was like, yeah, depending on your penis size, the door automatically sensors how big or small your cock is, and that depends on how the urinal shifts up and down, and it'll go, doo-doo-doo, small penis detected, and it'll move down.
And Larry started chuckling a little bit, and so I just went in harder on this bit. I was like, oh, and then, not only recognize the length of your penis, but the girth may matter. So I just kept going on and on, and then he broke, like,
two times maybe like just laughing out loud and then halfway through he was like get out of here get the get out of here get the it was great he was laughing and he was like get the out of here you're get out of here you're good get out of here oh that's incredible i called my i called my wife on the way home and i was like look dude if all the i've done hundreds of auditions i was like there's no way that i didn't get that because it was so fun i was like they'll throw me in something yeah
Cause he was having a good time. It was like, even if they put me in the background as like a one, I didn't care.
Yeah.
And then they called me later that day and they were like, yeah, Larry wants you to do that bit. So it was great. And on the day it was a joke for me because JB walked, he came on set and saw me and was like, Oh,
So then it made me feel comfortable.
And he wasn't even in the scene. He put himself in the scene. Whoa. Larry and Larry, you could tell was like, just get out for this one. Just get out. Their relationship is so exactly the show. It's amazing. He's like, he's like, come on, come on, get out, please get out. And JB wanted to keep inserting. So he just kind of got in the scene and it made it even better. And then Jeff was there.
So it was like, he knew me from standup. It was, it just felt comfortable. So that's great. I didn't have the fear, but in the morning I was tripped out. I was like, fuck, dude, I got to be so good in front of Larry. And there's no script. No. And I was just nervous because you don't want to over improv with him. I was like, I don't want him to be like, stop it. I don't want that. Right.
Of him being like, dude, calm down. You're doing way too much. So in the morning I was nervous as shit. But then once I got there and saw JB, I was like, we're good. Yeah. It just broke me open. Then I didn't care. And Larry was really playful and such a rad dude. I don't know if he had a bad experience, dude, but he's...
Well, I did an audition.
He's the man.
I did a self tape and it says in the notes, don't try to be funny. Yeah. Which is the hardest note. Not saying we can't not be funny, but you're like, well, how do I do it? Do I do it straight? Do I do it? Yeah.
They want you to be straight because he's the funny guy. I mean, they want you to.
Yeah, but you were funny.
Yeah, but they want you to.
It's funny playing it straight. The scene is funny.
Right. The scene is very funny. They wanted me to be dead serious about the, about the bit. He was like, right. It's your job. Got it. He kept saying that too. At the, at the, on the day he was like, this is your job. He's like, you are a, so I was a little like, he was like, well, why can't we do that? And I would have to have lines and moments where I'm like, well, that's illogical, dude.
So I don't know if you know how to build toilets. Cause you don't. And I do. Do you want me to do my job or not? And that makes Larry get into his second, which inherently is going to be funny.
Yeah.
So they don't want you to try to like get a zinger, but they want you to like layer in enough real world comedy where it's, you know, you're giving him the... That, you know, you're giving him the like, what the fuck? Yeah. That's what he wants. So if you can give him those layups, then he wins. He wants pushback. Yeah. He wants like an annoyance. He wants conflict in every single scene. Yeah.
And that's the best part about that guy. That's why his comedy is, it's so simple and yet so particular. Yes. It's a simple scene, but it's extremely dynamic because you're like, this would annoy anybody. And I see why this pisses him off. Right. Right. And then he's going to take it out on other characters and they're going to be like, what is your fucking problem? Yes, exactly. He's not wrong.
That's the best part about all that.
I know. I completely agree.
He was the man, dude. I found, you know, that was like the I got paid, you know, like a daily rate. We get like no money to do those. Like it's literally like a minimum. And those are ones where I'm like, I'll pay you. Yeah, I would have 100 percent pay them to be on that show. I said the same thing to FX.
about let's edit this out because we're already heading this way in show business yeah yeah yeah no i know i know well i said the same thing to fx back in the day about baskets i said i'll pay i'll i was like i'll drive to bakersfield and i'll pay to be up there i'll pay for my hotel yeah i wanted to be on the show what is curb the coolest guest spot you did it by by far what else was really arrested was awesome
Whoa. Just me and Bateman had a scene together, which was great. I forgot about that. Yeah, it was pretty cool. That was a cool moment. Super nervous for that too, because Jason's, you know, he's really good. Man, you got a resume. Really smart and quiet. Yeah, he's, that was, those are by far the coolest ones I've, I mean, yeah. Arrested and Curb probably. Curb for me is it.
That was all I wanted. I wanted to do Curb once before they stopped. Of course. And now they're done. You auditioned? Oh, it's self-tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They got to be in front. You got to be in front of them.
I know. And it was Josh Radninsky, though. You remember him? He got Young Larry. Oh, yeah. John Radninsky. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He played Young Larry? Yeah.
He was good. He's a good actor. Should have been you, man. Then he dated his daughter. Zing! Oh, yeah. They just broke up. Sorry, Josh. John. John. Josh is even better. Sorry, Josh. Sorry, Josh. He looks like a Josh. He's Jewish.
Come on, you look Jewish. Yeah, I'll take it. You are. Honestly, it's enough of this mask. Just say you're Jewish. Why does this lie? He's appropriating our culture a bit. Yeah, it's getting worse and worse over time.
Maybe I'll take a hawk to a quiz. She just found out she was 97% Ashkenaz. Seriously? Yeah.
That doesn't help the industry plant part of this whole thing, does it? That just gives conspiracy theorists more firepower. And the stealing money. Right.
Yeah, of course she goes down for a pyramid scheme. I know. Pump and dump, whatever it was. Right, right, right, right. God damn it.
That Huck duo is phlegm after all. All right. Okay.
I can't believe people bid on that too, on her Bitcoin thing. People are dumb. You guys don't have any of that shit. Crypto?
I have a little.
I just bought it when it got big. I think I missed the boat on that. Me too. And I also, I don't like shit I don't understand, but I remember doing meetings with people. They were like, just do one meeting with us. They'd be finance bros in those pullover sweaters being like, NFTs of your jokes. And I'm like... You want me to sell AIDS joke for $7,000, dude?
Get Mark Scarelli on there with you to boost the price. What kind of grifter do you feel like? I'm like, I'm not going to do this shit. But they were like, you can donate it to charity. I'm like, oh, these guys are like thieves. I can feel this energy.
Anybody in the financial sector is a thief, dude. These guys are all taking your money to make more money. And then they give you a little bit of money and you think, this is pretty good. It's like, yeah, dude, they're making real money. Exactly. You're the joke. You're the pawn, so they can just take your money to go play with it.
But are the NFTs still a thing? I remember they did Pop Shot or whatever it's called. Top Shot, remember, for the basketball cards?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you own a sequence? Right. You own a dunk? What? It's the dumbest thing ever.
Yeah, it's so dumb. And the vagueness of that is why they're getting away with it, because no one's really paying attention. Exactly. You really don't know the ins and outs. I didn't get in it because I was like... I just don't.
And there's no story like at least with an artist. You're like, this is Van Gogh's journey. This is why this art means something. This is Francis Bacon's journey. This is like this is this is tangible. This person was influenced by this. It's just a fucking thing. I know it's not an Instagram.
Yeah, it's a virtual thing.
It's great now that, you know, like for years people were like, you can't touch it, the NFTs. So it's not real. And now that people are hating on AI, it makes it even less valuable, which I think is good because everybody hates AI now. Like all these digital and graphic artists, they're so mad AI is becoming like a real thing. That's true. They're fighting back. So if you own AI...
It's going to make people even more disinterested in it because it's like, well, it's already a shitty part of our culture. You're just ripping away art from artists. So then there's not going to be any validity to it because no one will want to invest in it. It's only worth it if somebody buys it.
And there's a swing back. Now baseball cards are huge again.
Are they?
They're huge.
Only the really big ones.
Don't throw those away. Yes, exactly. We saw this the other night, the food delivery from just a robot out here. Oh, yeah.
We have those all over the place now. Those are fucking weird. I've never gotten one, but I see them all over West Hollywood. They're big. Yes. Not picked by me. I'm out in the suburbs. You don't see any of that.
It feels like we're in Blade Runner or something.
It's sketchy as hell. It's kind of cool, though.
Take nine hours. I see it just trekking along. It's so slow.
Yeah. Well, the food's always cold anyway. See? It's always going to be cold. Even if it comes in a guy's car, he delivered seven other meals. Your food's going to be cold.
Yeah. And also, you just want to push it over. It's probably like a chicken parm in there.
A hobo should be all over that. Yeah.
Exactly.
That's right. You'd be a good homeless guy. You'd figure it out fast. I can't wait. You'd figure it out so fast. It's coming. No, it's not, dude. You're so far away from that. What do you mean? Didn't you just get a new place? I did.
Yeah. It's a really cool spot.
Four floors of horrors. Brownstone and BK, baby. You're in Brooklyn? Yeah.
Wait, I thought you were in the city. No?
I was right in Greenwich Village, but I wanted the room. I got a backyard now. I got a parking space. Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade. The kids are trick-or-treating on my block. I mean, it's a cheat code. I'm in New York, but I'm not.
Yeah, Brooklyn's great. Good for you. You're still in the heart. I'm in the heart. I was in your building without your knowledge. I know. I wish you were snooping around. What a rooftop.
That's a good one.
What a rooftop this guy's got. Have you been there?
Yeah, he's got a terrace. He's got a sauna.
He's got a big movie theater. I'm looking city-like, but it doesn't feel like the city.
I love it.
Right, right, right. Yeah, no, that does feel different. It's not like you're not slumming it anymore.
No.
And you don't have to, man. You boys deserve it. It's good to see people on the come up. But the fall is coming. It's coming.
We'll see you on the way down.
Yeah, the fall is coming.
We'll all be living in a studio apartment together in the East Village in a couple of years. Can't wait. We'll be sharing. Those are some good years. You know, fucking a fat chick on air matches while your friend waits in the bathroom.
Tuesday, baby. Oh, yeah. Didn't love being that friend, but you know. Yeah. I always say to young people when they all want to get their own place, I'm like, dude, go as long as you can living with friends. Because it's fun. It's cheaper. You'll never have that experience. Once that experience is gone and you live alone, you don't ever get that.
Make sure they're friends you like living with, though.
At some point, you're going to hate it anyway. But it's at least like it's worth the camaraderie of coming home and seeing what people are up to.
Yes.
Because you're like, what are you guys getting into?
Yeah, it keeps you out. Yeah. I liked having a shitty place for a while because I would just stay out and do sets all night. Yeah. Because I didn't want to go home. Right. I didn't mind being on the road 50 weeks a year.
Yeah, because you don't... Home stinks anyway. Yeah. Right. Yeah, no, I agree. There was a dude on the internet, one of these... I see him a lot pop up with the glasses, bald dude. He's like a life coach type of person, whatever. But he's not... He's not like young, buff, hot life coach. He's not like, get your fucking shit together. He's not like that.
He just gives like really cool pieces of wisdom. And the one thing he said is like, I say this to every young person is, do not be at home. Be at home for bed and that's it. He's like, be out. I love that. Meet people, go out, get involved, get activities, all this stuff. I agree because I lived all of my 20s, dude. I was never around. We were just doing something. Same, same. Always on the move.
Doing spots, going somewhere, going to hang out with groups of people. Now in my 40s, dude, I'm home.
yeah it's over i never leave the house now and think about the comfort we need now like back in the day i'd ride back row middle seat cross country on a flight yeah now like i gotta get in that lounge no dude i would have stood if they offered it if they were like standing room only i'd have been like i'll pay for that 100 back in the day i didn't care it didn't even remotely bother me no we were tanks it was a young man's game your body bounces back differently too oh yeah you could take red eyes you could eat red eyes were red eyes were great yeah it was fine are you
Yeah, I'm stupid.
Oh, you go back to New York? Yeah. Red Eye in New York is a – I hate it. Nightmare. I hate it. I hate it so – dude, that's like – I've had to do it a few times, you know, when someone's like, we need you in the morning, so you have to leave like tonight. Yep. I hate it. Your whole day is fucked. It never works. You can't function.
You go, I'll sleep on the plane.
Never.
Not a wink because you know you have to sleep. It's like getting a boner when you need one.
We just don't bounce back the same, dude. We fucking... Mark and I have been running this set every night, multiple times a night, and I've been sick for the last week. So it's like... We had the IV nurse in here yesterday. We're bouncing jokes. She's not laughing. We're like, well, this isn't helping the confidence. What are you going to do? But we're looking over to see if she's listening.
She's like... She's like, please, fuck me in here. Don't do these jokes.
Don't get rid of that.
The IV thing is the new revolution. I got an IV with Chappelle. It's so douchey, but it does help. Wow. It was great, dude. It was awesome. Where did you went with Chappelle? I was at, we went to, Bobby and I went to Yellow Springs. Oh, cool. Crazy story.
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Awesome. It was incredible. Did it just open? I think this is like the fifth or sixth month. Oh, wow. But it's not like comics come in for the weekend. You know, it's like he just does shows whenever he wants to do shows. Right. That's cool.
There's the mothership and then there's the I never had a fathership. All right.
okay it was great dude dave invited us out there and we did like a little thing for um his wife's brother had had uh passed and it was like a celebration oh wow and i guess he was a fan of bob and i show like like bad friends yeah it was kind of cool and then dave was like would you come perform and
we flew out there and Dave was so gracious showed us around and I don't know man he's the king I can't say enough good so it sounds like I'm kissing his ass but like honestly was so rad took us around and we hung out at the like the lounge with him and Donnell came by which was great and yeah Talib Kweli it was like it was awesome man crazy and then the venue was it's it's unbelievable it's kind of intimate right
I would say it's probably like VU size in terms of crowd numbers. It's probably what, because VU is almost 300. Sounds about right. Like maybe 275. It's in an old firehouse. And it's cool. It's like a great, it's, it's, I don't know, man, it's, it's wonderful. And they're so stoked that you're there. It's in the middle of nowhere.
I mean, this is kind of like an offset of Dayton, Ohio.
Dayton's I think the closest city. Got it. But dude, it's, you know, he was, does it fill up? Oh, I mean, it's sold out. It sells out like, yeah, 275 is going to sell out. It sells out so fast.
I know, but it's a really small area. You just don't know. People make the drive. Oh, they all make the drive.
Yeah.
It's like a destination.
Oh yeah. He was, he was hyping us up too. He's so, he's, it's so funny. He's still a comic. Yeah. And he was like, man, he's like, y'all sold out so fast.
to make you feel good you know what I mean where you're like well it's you so it's Chappelle's club right you guys you and Bobby yeah but I mean fuck us it's like it's his club like he could put up the ticket and be like I might not even show up people will go to that club it's him so like it was nice of him but I was also like yeah it's to see Dave Chappelle's home what's the green room like
fucking unreal tequila probably the best green room come on really there's two of them well there's an upstairs just for comedians and then there's a downstairs that's like a private bar for family and friends and comics wow what's in the green room what are we that's perfect everything name it whatever you need i mean like a beautiful lounge uh tv for if you're you know sports or anything is on a full bar anything you want dude it's it's it's like they run that place it's like a four seasons hotel i mean it's incredible
It's top of the line.
The store is pretty great. I mean, you go in there, you get free weed, you get free snacks, and there's a massage table. That's so LA.
That's right. That is very LA.
New York would never have a massage table at the fucking... That was the most LA shit I've ever seen.
Josh Ademeyer is the host with a giant dog on stage.
Yeah, yeah. He does that. He loves that. He can't do that in New York. He doesn't bring the dog. No way. No, the store is very... Because what I love about the store is that we do have a history of like...
wackadoos and weirdos and that place was always weird man we were like we were like home to chaos you know like don barris's late night shows and the ding dong show and you know every year i don't know if he's doing it anymore but when i was coming up um bob zamuda whoa would perform every year for a holiday show he'd do like a week in the main room Wow.
That was Andy Kaufman's writer, assistant guy. Right, right. If you know about the history of Kaufman and the relationship between the character he played, Zamuda was like his best friend who would play the character of Tony Clifton. I know this is inside baseball, but Tony would perform at the store during the holidays and Zamuda was doing it for a long time. But we welcomed chaos like that.
like it was like that's the store was like home to really kind of like uh it's got a circusy freak show freak show vibe yeah yeah it's a freak show vibe where the seller is way more business comedy business comedy business yeah the store was like anything can go that's kind of why i love i love it man it's like a fucking slaughterhouse now just four rooms every room you're just like you know on top of each other it's crazy it's it's well i mean i i'm it's great
And comedy is changing so fast, too. So, everything is so different now. But it's a good thing, I guess. Like, I see a lot of young people now that I'm – it's nice to watch, like, new comics that I'm like, damn. Yeah. They're good. Whoever that is is really good. It's cool to watch people.
You see anyone in New York, we were like, oh, shit.
um who did i see that i saw that was really i mean a lot of people that i saw in the lineup i knew i mean i always give props anytime i see ryan hamilton he's not new obviously but yeah i love that guy killer i just love watching him his rhythm is wonderful he's great so against the tides like if the night was very like high energy you know and he goes up there and he like brings it at his level and he crushes
I'm waiting for him to put out this new special.
I love that guy. I think he's one of the best writer performers in his own space that like doesn't, he does not compromise. He's him all the time. He doesn't change his tone because the room is different. He recently got hit by a bus. I don't know if you heard about that. That made him better.
It made him bet he's got a 30-minute chunk on it, and it's insane.
It's so good. Listen up, young comics. Walk against traffic if you're looking for a new 15. He's great. But, I mean, there was a lot. I mean, I saw a lot of people that I was followed. I told you guys this last night. Louie and Rock followed me like three shows in a row. Woo! Which was crazy because I was waiting for them to be like, hey, those guys are going to slide in front of you.
And I was like, yeah, whatever. But they didn't. But then Louis stood and watched. Redhead love. Redhead love, baby. Yeah. His first line out of his mouth on the show at the bar or at the lounge, he goes, I used to look like that.
Yeah.
That's great, dude. Burr used to do that to me a lot. Burr would be like, that's it, yeah. I had hair. You're going to replace me. When I was his age, I had hair. You're only here to replace me. Yeah. Yeah, you're coming. He's coming for my job. No one's coming for your job, dude. You're fine. Yeah, Burr would do that a lot.
But then Louie and Rock were back-to-back, so I just stood and watched those guys do their thing, too. Amazing. Awesome to watch, dude.
Damn, I wish I was there. He's still the best. You see Rock's SNL was pretty great.
Yeah, I saw just the monologue. I didn't see the sketches.
That's all we watch.
Yeah, I don't really see the sketches anymore. I like weekend updates, though. Yeah, that's good, too. I always like those because they let people do a bit or a character.
Right. That I really like. Yeah, when Sarah Sherman goes out and just does something wacky.
Dude, I love her. She cracks me up. She's so funny, man, because they let her fly. It's like they're not trying to put her in this... They're like, just do whatever weird shit you're going to do. She's like wacky and fun. It reminds me of the way they used to let Sandberg and those boys go off. When they would do a bit sometimes where you're like, this is not hitting, but it's great.
It's great because it's so weird and often kind of wrong and bad. You're like, who cares? At least they're trying.
Sailor would go on to do Pickle Arm.
yeah you're like who the fuck wrote that and who approved that but it was it was like freewheeling back then but yeah i have so much admiration for these people like i've always been a low energy act so at least at mike's i could kind of you know there'd be the obvious bomb because there'd be an obvious punch line yeah but at least i was low energy i'd see guys like nick vadrat who were so funny and when he but he when he would bomb he'd be like sweating for six people and i'd be like how the that
We always talk about what's brave. That's brave.
That scares me. When people can keep that high energy act up, even when the crowd isn't enjoying it. I don't know.
But that's what they're doing. It's either going to work or it's not. If you're doing sketch comedy, you've got to maintain that energy.
Well, I'm not talking any shit, but I remember back in the day watching Sebastian. Whoa. Because Sebastian is very like animated and he's very like it's characterized. Sure. And he would do that even if the room wasn't packed out. You know what I mean? Like if it was a workout night, he'd committed. He still would commit to that character, which is you got to be in on that character.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean? Because he's very... There it is. Thank God, dude. I was something to break this up. Wow. No, he's the man, but he would do the same thing. I was always like, that's fucking wild to be able to do that.
You're farting in a hotel? In a hotel? Who does that?
You ever been to one of these hotels they don't let you fart at?
You wear pajamas at the airport? Aren't you embarrassed?
Why do you fart so much more than me? We've been eating the exact same shit.
Turkey sausage cup.
I had it too. You got IBS?
maybe you are jewish dude yeah he might be you have crones crones is coming no no i got an iron stomach i mean i get it all out the gas chamber there's indian comics who do the black voice i think norman's doing the jew voice yeah you are that's good you're jew facing stop jew facing dude we're getting sick of it dude we don't like it we talk about it there's a whole community about it oh my body's a temple
Say something Jewish quick. Quick, quick, quick. My back. Oh, fuck.
It's drafty in here.
My back. Dude, maybe I am Jewish. My back's hurt. You're welcome for the weather. How bad is your back? Awful, dude. It sucks. What happened? Sports? Years ago, a sports injury, and then it keeps coming back. I just can't get rid of it. Well, initially I heard it playing basketball. And then when I was running, I re-injured it on like a long distance eight mile run.
I re-injured it coming off of a fucking curb. It was just in dusk at night and I didn't see the curb drop was bigger than a normal curb drop. So my body just wasn't looking down. It was looking forward. All my weight went to one side and I was like, holy fuck.
there's nothing worse than getting injured like how'd you get injured and you're like he fell he fell i know it's so sad because you hear this you're kidding you're like fell right i fall all the time yeah but i mean basketball is the one when you get older because like my whole identity was like i'm gonna be the hustle guy i'll make i'll get every loose ball yeah like that way if my jump shot's not going the team's not mad at me right i'll hustle but then you get older you're like i'm not fucking hustling i'm not breaking it no i got dunked on in where i was in uh uh uh not charlotte what's the um
Oh, God, why can't I think the name of the room? Comedy... Good Nights? Good Nights. Good Nights. I was at Good Nights, and there was a YMCA right down the block. And I was like, I kind of want to go work out, but then maybe shoot around, because I know there's always courts at YMCA. So I go, I lift a little bit, and then I go down there, and I'm just shooting by myself.
And this young kid is like, hey, hey, yo, you want to play? Uh-oh. And I was like, no, man, I'm all right. And he's like, come on, man. Come on, come on, come on. We need one of the... So I was like, okay, so I'll just go fill space. I was like, I'll just pass.
That is so scary to me.
Dude, I go over there. I'm like, I kind of evolved into this young, like, 19-year-old, like, just jacked black kid just gets up. And I don't even jump. I just kind of get out of the way. You know what I mean? And then they're all like, oh, oh, he dunked on your ass. He dunked on your ass. And I was like, dude, I got a whole life outside of this. I don't give a fuck.
This means nothing to me.
This means nothing to me. Whatever you think I feel, I do not. I promise you, it's not happening. I couldn't care less. I was thinking about a cup of coffee I wanted to have. Yeah, exactly.
I was like, man, I want to go get coffee in a scone. Good to move out of the way because you get the nuts in the face. You start falling down.
I'm not stupid. Yeah, no way. We did that on the last tour run. We just pop into any rec center or Y in the country and play hoops. And we played a game with guys. And we'd been on like a hot streak. Not like just everything's good. We play a game like the second to last day. And this fucking guy I'm guarding, he's just like, he's got handles.
Yeah, he's cooking.
you i'm gonna get hurt yeah i'm gonna get fucking hurt and i'm playing denim and we're winning i'm like we're gonna fucking win and i'm like the second he had no jump shot but his handles were so good that i'm like i'm gonna play up on him yeah i mean give him space i mean so yeah let off of him let him let him fucking let him shoot but he's trying to take it off and on one fucking play i just twist i just roll the ankle and i'm just like is it the achilles and i'm like
no it's just an ankle but I'm like I'm out for days yeah you're done a old ankle I'm like I take my shoe off and they're like that is fucking looks like a swollen yeah looks like those old Kobe shoes remember those black bricks I'm like oh fuck and yeah and then you have to stand under that night and you're just like I'm like I hate my life I don't want to be 41 and injured for one of my shows
yeah of course i just don't want to be on stage injured for a show when someone's like what happened like those jujitsu guys who like have cauliflower ear and then just do stand-up oh yeah that sucks you're in pain yeah yeah yeah also it's the weirdest looking shit just where i would be the pussy that wears the ear caps or whatever fuck it dude i'm not making these things are already big i don't need them any bigger right i feel like our ears get bigger as dudes i don't know why they do i think they do ears and schnozzes yeah they never stop sorry dude
The dick done changed, though. No, but you already have nice cocks. He's fine. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no. Don't they? Isn't that one of the rumors? I don't think so. Is he? Oh, huge. It's skinny and long and skinny. Yeah, it's long and skinny. It's like him. Yeah, I guess.
It looks like him.
Trust me, him and I go to the spa together. I've seen. I've seen. I've been down that road. Big bag. Big bag.
Big balls. Huge balls. Huge balls.
Which is funny. I never wanted big balls. Who would? Big balls is a thing that's very strange.
Just hurt your dick by comparison. It's doing nothing for you.
In the way, too. It's too much. It's already out there. Right. You sit on them, bike riding. It's a target. Forget it.
Yeah, that's true.
Are you pissing on your balls? Are they ricocheting?
No, mine are down to the floor. I got the long bag. You got a long bag. It's bad.
I got a tight bag. Mine's still pretty tight.
Women like a tight bag.
Do they? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stamp Hermes on it. Women like a nice, tight, pricey bag. Nice clutch. Yeah, put the chain on it.
That would be a great tattoo. Yeah, just get a nice little barcode on your ball sack.
And Louis Vuitton on my nuts. In LA it would work. That's true. Probably nowhere else. This is where that culture is. Everybody here, everyone here tries to like outshine one another all the time. When you're young, you see it a lot. Everyone tries to like outdo each other. And then you see the older LA, which is like then nobody wants to outdo anybody.
Then everyone's quiet about their success in LA.
I like that.
Like when you meet someone that's like very successful out here, They're usually quiet and humble about it. You wouldn't even know. You'd go to their house and you're like, holy shit.
Well, you see Zuckerberg. He's wearing flip-flops and board shorts because he's like, I'm so rich. I'm good. He doesn't need the attention. Exactly.
That's why Sandler dresses like that. He's like, I'm chilling. I'm chilling. I'm chilling. I'm chilling. But he's always been that way too. Yeah, he never changed. Yeah. He's kind of the same. That's true. The same cat as when he was at the beginning. He's another great dude that I think is such an underrated stand-up. Oh, that's such an underrated D&D. The two specials are so fun.
Yeah, but I think people just know him as Sandler. They don't know. I think he's such a good stand-up.
I did a bunch of the live shows. They're so fun. They're such good shows. I mean, and the way he breaks up with the music, it's a fun. That voice, like we're all similar ages. That voice is like a staple in our childhood.
Yeah, we do. In the way that we're embedded in people's ears because of podcasting. He was like the original podcast. Because the CDs were like podcasts. Oh, the CDs. I listened to those things a billion times.
So did I. They're all going to laugh at you.
Stan and Judy's Kid.
Yes. I listened to all those songs.
Yeah, I just had headphones on walking around listening to that album. It was so good. He made Jews likable.
no that sounds bad no no hold on hold on let me sit with that for a second no white no white kid like you're not white but no like goy or gentile yeah he's white we didn't know about hanukkah that song put hanukkah on the map i didn't know anything about i'm from louisiana louisiana yeah they're not and jews aren't allowed down there that's true that's true welcome no jews welcome everybody but jews no i grew up in chicago we we we had a lot of jews jews was
But Hanukkah, that was the first. I mean, we just had dreidel, and then he put Jews on the map. Exactly. It did help. It helped.
And a list of all the Jews, and you're like, Paul Dune's half? Hey, all right.
Maybe these guys aren't so bad. That was some good-ass PR for us.
Sandy Koufax, too. That's right. That was great that when he named athletes, I was like, oh, no shit.
Yeah, yeah.
That's pretty good.
And all three beastie boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but we knew. But we knew. We knew. Even then as a kid, I was like, something's different about these three guys. These aren't Irish pricks like from my neighborhood.
You gotta fight for your right to Kvetch. Okay. That was a long way to go.
I was waiting for it and I thought, what is it going to be? What's the third? To Kvetch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did, Sandler did a thing though that made being...
immature but still funny like okay for adults yes because it's silly it can still be silly like i like the whimsy of that he's still being goofy and silly opera man a lot of times guys get older they just take themselves so serious they start taking stuff really serious and then you lose all that like
I'm not going to name names, but there's guys that we know that they got older and it's almost like, where's the fucking whimsy, man? Where's the taking yourself not serious and shitting on the wild weird stuff? I think that's where comedy starts to die when you get too old and you're like, I don't want to. Right. Like when Carlin was at the end, he was so fucking angry. Right.
right the last special is good it's bad for you had good shit it was the second last one where i was like ah this is this kind of rough the life it was just it was just kind of like so disenfranchised with the world and you're like i don't know i still kind of like some of it like he hated everything and you're like all right all right i liked it when he had it because when he was young he was filled with like wacky whimsy weird that's what i loved about him why don't mice have shoulders yeah what the fuck that's so great like that's such a good bit yeah
i think that's what you if you lose that in comedy i think you're that's why when with bob and i that's what i love about the show the most is that it's childish it's so immature and childish and it's my favorite time every time we shoot the show it's fun because it's going to be goofy and yes stupid it's stupid it's an escape for people too the world's all wacky and then you watch that and you're like ah
Oh, dude, because I know because when all this Trump stuff on the podcast was going down there, they hit you up. No, no, no, no. None of the politicians wanted to come on bad friends. It's actually interesting. No, no, because we don't do politics on our show because we don't ever play the game.
We avoid it, too, because we want it to be like a fun.
Well, what is what is what did this guy say? Fucking Republicans buy sneakers, too. Yeah. It's like the greatest line of all time. It's not wrong. Republicans buy sneakers too, man. They were like, make a stance. He's like, fuck that, dude. I'm trying to get rich. Yeah. No, we don't talk politics because I don't give a fuck and I don't care to. But also, we had a... It's everywhere.
It doesn't need to be... It's too much. That's the thing.
It's like, come here and it'll just be fun, comedy, stories.
It's stupid. We had a... And this is not... Look, we had a conversation with someone about what if...
kamala was going to do a pod run because she did a couple of female podcasts yeah they were going to be like would you do a comedy pod with her not bad friends but you two hosts like a thing with her and i was like no absolutely not i mean no no fucking way dude i don't want any of that shit i would it's the same thing with trump i don't want him fucking on my show why i don't want them on our show it's funny that they're looking at comedians to humanize these people
Yeah, and I don't want to. These are, they're inhumane. These are all terrorists. They're all bad people. I don't want them on my show.
I agree. I don't like what they bring. Like that's not even, she's an afterthought now. So imagine you just had her and now it's all over.
It's a waste. I just, we were not interested, man. And they said the same thing. They were like, well, what about Trump? I was like, no, dude, we don't want, these aren't our people. Why are we pretending that there are people? They're not. It's a good point. No, I'm not going to shill for these fucking politicians. No. So no way. Never.
But that's what, you know, that's what we were Bob and I talked about. Like when we do get offers for guests sometimes because we don't love guests anyway. Sometimes there are people that I'm like, oh, this is them just looking for a come up on our show. They don't like our show or know us or give a fuck about us.
You know what I mean? That is so funny that they kind of have to pretend a little.
Yeah, it's bullshit. But they all do that. You can tell that whenever these people go on those shows, not just politicians, but super famous big people, they've been slotted into a show. You're like, they don't fucking... Now you're just turning into The Tonight Show. You're just a guest on a couch.
And the host has to pretend like he loves you, and you have to pretend like you love him, even though it's like, we don't fucking know.
At least Theo, he's got some cocaine jokes with Trump. That was fun. That was super fun. At least he kept it funny.
You never did cocaine, man, dude?
Did you ever struggle, dude?
No, I never touched this stuff. I'll tell you who I did touch. Just a list of names of women. No, he got to play it up. It was, I mean, you know, but that's for, Theo is in that different atmosphere.
He really is.
He's like a conversationalist.
Chalamet. I mean, he's getting A-listers.
Yeah. I mean, you know, he's plugged into the Hollywood pipeline now. Yeah, he is. Bob and I are slime. We're trash. Nobody really wants... Like, famous people are... We had Cena and Efron on because I did a movie with those guys, and they were cool about it, but... Whoa. I could tell that the PR people were losing their fucking mind in the room. Really?
Yeah, because John is super playful and doesn't care, and Cena doesn't... I mean, and Efron doesn't give a fuck either, but their room was filled with all their PR people. Oh, I hate that. And they were like...
very wide-eyed yeah and they're just taking notes gotta cut this well we didn't have to cut it yeah because the boys were like whatever you guys want in there because bobby's gonna be crazy yeah he's gonna ask john cena if he wants to see his asshole yes leave it in that's fucking funny man yeah and also those guys have senses of humor a lot of people just get bridled by these pr teams that think it's gonna hurt the the rep of the film it's like no it's not people want to see him be human exactly and that's why comedy's thriving because we don't have a fucking pr guy here right well he is right there that yeah he is well we'll shoot him
In the back, though. Turn around. That was cold, man. Why did you shoot him in the back? Just go look at his face. Shoot him in the front.
You think he should have had a good line? Get your shine box.
That's old Western rules, though. That's old gangster rules, too. You can't shoot someone in the back. That's cowardly. Shoot him in the front. This guy's not a gangster. Yes, he is. That's the most gangster shit on earth. He's a wop. To wait all night and then shoot somebody? That's a hitman. He's a dago. That's a hitman. It's not a gangster. That's a hitman, right. But who was the hit plan?
Who planned the hit? He did. Kaiser Permanente. Maybe they're fucking... And another health insurance company was like, go get them. Damn. That's your people.
That's your people. You and Mount Sinai. The Kaisers.
I saw someone say, like, you tell these kids...
thoughts and prayers after every school shooting and you expect them to be desensitized or not to be desensitized to violence and that's true that's actually great i don't know that's very well they do they just had a catholic school shooting two days ago another lady in madison or lady did it you know no no no i think it was a woman oh what yeah no way something finally dude yeah
Finally, they got a woman as a school shooter.
The first one was a woman. First school shooting in America was a woman.
We never hear about groundbreaking stories like this the other way.
Yeah, exactly. She's the Jackie Robinson of shooting kids.
First female shooter before a first female president. That's right.
Well, we can't have that.
You're right.
Isn't it weird when you get along with a woman? They're like, I don't want a woman president.
You're like, but you're a woman. It is funny how many women didn't vote for her. Oh, yeah. Crazy. They thought, man, the news was sure of it. They were like, it's going to be a landslide.
Yeah.
No, they didn't say that. They were like, wrong way. Well, dude, all the view and all these shows. Yeah, they did. They pushed it. That's a bubble. Well, you know what I mean? That's the problem with the media now is like they're so trapped in their brain. They weren't even we had one of these betting sites where you could bet on the election. They sponsored one of our shows.
And I was cool with it because it wasn't like aligned with a political party was just like bet on the election itself. I was like, that's rad. I think that's you bet on anything else.
I bet seven. I lost seven K in the new comptroller. But, you know, I got a department of agriculture.
I got clipped on, man. I should have done that. No, but they were like – they showed the polls on the insides of like what the betting numbers are like. They show them on the website. Yeah. But they show them live. It's crazy how many people bet on Trump. Like the disparity was massive. To lose. No, to win. To win. Oh, wow. Because the amount of people that were betting –
we're probably betting we're voting for trump anyway exactly so the numbers were so upside down it was kind of crazy wow but vegas is usually right vegas is right about sports okay they know something they know well they do i told you i bet on the under last night on the bears game and just snuck it out just snuck it i know how to get you too because i'll have a hot streak where i keep winning and then i just lose and lose and lose and like yeah it's planned it's perfect
They know how to get you excited.
The only thing they can't catch you on is if you're at a live table game. Because I'm a big Blackjack fan. So live table games, that's you. You can control the rhythm of that.
You play on your phone.
No, no, no, no. When I go to the casino. You can't do like FanDuel out here, can you? You have to go through other sites or you have to have a guy. Old school. You got a guy? Yeah, we all have a guy. Everyone's got a guy. You got a Luigi? No, Mario, his brother.
He's in an underground.
No, yeah, you got to have a little bit of guy. But you can play. There are companies you can play out here. It's just as a little roundabout way of doing it. Nice. It's not as direct as when you're in a fully legal state. But the irony is we have casinos out here. That's true.
You have to drive into the fucking... We were just talking about that. Mark was saying like, you know, Texas is all about freedom. You got guns. You can't go on fucking porn sites.
Pornhub. Yeah. Yeah. What the hell? Just get a VPN, my guy. Ooh. I VPN my phone everywhere I go. It's a lot of work. No. What do you mean? It takes five seconds. You install it, turn it on and off. That's it. It's just an app. I can't sign in. Anything with signing in, I'm out. No, you didn't sign into the Pornhub because they want your license?
No, no. I mean, anything you have to sign in for, like with a password, I just blank out.
Oh, no. VPN, you put it on your phone once, and then that's it. Then all you have to do is click on or off. And here's the wild shit. They integrate it into your phone. So if I go to my settings, look. Is it free? See, it says VPN right there. Oh, wow. I can just turn it on or off wherever I am.
Oh, does that work to watch sports, too? Anything, everything.
I did it initially so I could stream shit in a local channel if I was out and I wanted to watch. In Canada or something. Yeah. Or even if I was in another state and they're not going to show whatever game that I want to watch, then I can just VPN it and I can still get the local feed or whatever.
Whoa, because Canada, you go there, I'm on the road, they don't have Pandora.
They're like, we don't have Pandora or Venmo. But they blocked it. A lot of them learned. Because I would set my VPN for Chicago. So it says where your set site is and where you really are. And I would set it for Chicago so I could watch Chicago local channels. Some of these streamers caught up. Damn. And they block you now because they know.
They're like, looks like you're out of your own whatever. Right, right. I know. You're like, you're not getting enough money from me already. Scam artist. We all thought we were going to save money. We're getting smoked by all these streamers. So true. Whatever. Who cares? Take it from me. I'm going to die anyway.
They're struggling too, these streamers. They're all shelling out money for this movie, that movie, then no one watches it. We are in downtown LA. Yeah, yeah.
Netflix is not doing that good, huh? Yeah, good point.
Good point.
No, but they don't care because like Apple is spending more money than ever, but they sell phones and Amazon is spending more money than ever on TV and film and they sell fucking paper towels. Yeah. These companies don't give a shit. That's the problem is they couldn't, they're like, no one wants the show. Who fucking cares, dude? They want to sell vacuums.
They really don't give a shit. Anyway, watch my new special, Samo, you change on Amazon.
Dude, I'm on Hulu next year and you know, that same thing. I'm hoping it works because they're new to the comedy thing, to the standup world. I don't know.
I wouldn't want to be first. I think you're in a good spot.
I'm at the end of the year.
I'm in all these big names coming up. And then, you know, you get your over there.
Yeah, I'm at the I don't maybe it's around September. So I don't know the exact like month. But I did say I was like, I don't want to be at the beginning of the year because they were like, how fast do you want to tape? I was like, not fast.
Shows how cocky Gaffigan is. He's like, I'll go first. Fuck it.
He's got a huge fan base. He's huge. He's also the fucking, that guy's a machine. He really is. He's a machine, dude. He's awesome. Clean and just prolific as hell. Great comment. When you get him one-on-one, too, he really does give you a different side of him. I don't know if you've sat with him.
Oh, I love behind-the-scenes Gaff.
He's a good egg.
Flick my nuts.
Yeah, dude. He'll give you a little flick, dude. He'll grab my pussy. A little flick in the neck. Your zipper's undone a little bit. Leave it like that, though. I do want to maybe take a little sneak peek. There we go.
Something falls out. See the gold bond.
Yeah, you powder every day?
Not every day, but I'll get a little swampy, so I throw some real... Do you bring it on the road?
Oh, yeah. Swampy in December?
It's bad. I'm bad. It's all Hunter Biden powder. It's real bad down here.
Where's the laptop, dude? Show us the history. Yeah. I don't do that. I don't do that, because after that stuff came out about giving people fucking cancer. What's that now? What? Your dick can get cancer? Talcum powder was giving people cancer, right? What? Isn't that a thing? God. No, it was... Oh, no, no. You know what it was? Yeah, it was baby powder. Talcum powder.
Baby powder was giving... It was something about women. It was either breast cancer... It was like... No, uterine cancer or something like that.
All right, we're good.
No, you're next, dude. Yeah, there was a lawsuit about baby powder. That's right. It was one of the powders, and it was giving people cancer.
Remember DePaulo's bit about that, about playing basketball? Put the talcum powder on, I get a nice pancake batter going in my shorts. I go for a lay of a Belgian waffle, came out of my pants.
Who's that?
DePaulo. Old Nick DePaulo.
That's fucking great. Where's he at?
He's in Georgia.
In the South? Yeah. He was a New York guy, right? Forever? Big New York guy. Lost in the New York. Sometimes they leave. You guys will never leave. You'll never leave New York. I don't think so. I don't think so.
I don't think I can. I think I get. I don't think I function well outside there for too long.
I go back to the South for three days. I'm like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. It's so slow and hot. I get that. Well, that's the South-South, though.
That's true. Like, I could do Charleston. Charleston's beautiful.
Will you ever move to New York, or is Bobby just keeping you here?
You know I want to, but Bobby's got a grip on me, and he will not leave Los Angeles. So if the show ever does— Why does he like L.A.
so much? I mean, he's got a sick place.
He's from San Diego. Right.
Oh, there you go.
And he loves Los Angeles because he's a creature of habit and comfort, dude. He does—he likes to go to the same restaurants. Yeah. I think we all forget he's 52 years old.
Like can't even drop Kalilah.
He likes what he likes, dude. But he just is a creature of habit and comfort. So, you know, I get it. But we're also working on other stuff now, which is kind of fun. We were doing like Bad Friends Productions now.
But it's fun to make shit. And we got stand up.
Well, that's why I want to keep making it on our own dime. I was like, let's just produce and finance it ourselves. Because then it's on us to make the money back. I agree. Then the risk is higher, but it's so much better reward than going through the system. Yes.
And it moves faster.
Yeah, we make it. We had a meeting last night. Like we saw the space. We're lining up all the people that are going to be a part of it. So it's like we're in control.
Would you ever do like a live action movie with Bobby? Because I could see that.
Yeah, we try. We keep trying, man. We've had a couple people pitch us on stuff. But like it's got to be a really good story because, you know, nowadays everything is inundated with –
fucking superhero stuff i know the movies are tough now but we're trying to make one and it's a it's a process it is a grind but i mean i think people do want us because they see us in these worlds they want us to do the other thing yeah i think people don't know how hard it is to make it i know making it no they see what's out it just takes a lot of work to make something it's so many moving pieces and fucking it's hard yeah we'll try we'll try and we're trying we're trying when is the taping tonight yeah wow yeah we're gonna hit the sauna should i go
Hey, we'd love to have you.
Maybe I should go. Jeff Ross, it's a fun hang.
Oh, never mind then. Maybe I should go, seriously. Tom's character is really funny.
It's going to be really good.
He kills it. He's not playing. He's doing something. He's not doing himself. He's a character. Come on, dude. Thank you. Don't squeeze.
He's getting weaker. He's running out of steam.
That's true. Yeah, man. Show's wrapping up. It's not like you used to, man.
My butthole's loose. You on the road? Any dates to play or anything?
Yeah, I'm doing... I do. I start the year off. I have two months left until I tape my special. And I do Chicago Theater as my first one back.
Just did it. What a room.
That's so fun, man. It's so fun to go back home and to do it. It feels so something about going home. So I do Chicago Theater and then I do Durham and Charleston. I'm playing the Beacon in New York for all you New York fans. You guys got to come by. I'll be there. I'm playing the Beacon. I'm playing the Met in Philly. Wow. I'm doing four shows in Minneapolis.
I'm doing two in San Francisco, two in San Diego. Great. So come out and see me at andrewsantino.com. This will be the end of a tour for me for a long time. I won't be able to tour for a while. We're going to be working on shit.
I'm putting Minneapolis in the top 10 comedy cities. No one talks about it.
It's such a great comedy town. Oh, dude, I think, well, I guess, you know, we'll say it now is that I'm doing four shows there. We're just announced a four show and I'm going to, I'm filming my special there. Oh, there you go. Yeah, Minneapolis. Are you filming four? I'm filming four. Smart. That's what I did. Yeah, I'm filming four, but I'm doing it two different ways.
So the first night is one way and the second night's a different way.
Second night is a woman.
Yeah, that's right. It's me as a school shooter. Yeah, it'll be great. I'm filming it two different ways using two different teams, which is kind of a stupid idea. Interesting. Yeah, you'll see when it comes out. I just visually have an idea of what I think would be cool to watch because the jokes are bad. So come out and see me.
at andrewsantino.com awesome does that mean you're changing the order is that what you mean by that no no no i'm physically filming a different i'm having like a different camera crew and a different director like i think this is smart i'm physically doing it different twice so the first two shows are going to be one way the second two shows are going to be another way for the crowd it won't mean anything it'll be the same set same hour and 15 or whatever but uh visually at home when it's done they'll see how different it looked they both look different
all right you know like maybe cut back and forth a little i don't know i'm gonna try we're gonna figure it out i just i just had this idea to do it this way and then if it works great and if not we'll just leave it to traditional you know what i mean like it's kind of a win-win for me to just be like we'll play with it it's my money i'm fucking who cares it's like i might as well try love it you know this is smart yeah get innovative get weird we might as well maybe i'll come tonight but what time six eight eight no pressure i mean it's taping you know how that is you gotta clap you saw our horse shit last night
Yeah, but maybe I'll just kid up with an agent and just come backstage with you guys and just fuck around backstage.
Hang out.
That would be better. I don't want to be in the crowd because then it'll be too... It's a lot of work. Yeah, it is work to be in the crowd. It's a lot of work. It's funny. They're like, be alert, be awake, take a break. Now we're doing a reset. Yeah.
Yeah, but we're grateful for those people.
100% true. We need them. Well, they want to see the thing live. It's cool to watch the process. Yeah.
Dude, Sam Black, audience. Remember, she would get you all the audience at the show. She's awesome. Old school New York woman. Dude, she would make sure that you wouldn't fuck up the taping. She's so intimidating. Someone held in a pee that they peed their pants during a Jeslin-like taping. That's awesome. She's like, you can't get up right now. And the guy's like, I'm just fucking pissed.
Didn't she do our half hours? Yes. Yeah, I was like, the name is so familiar. She did the half hours with that. Yeah. He peed himself. Wow.
He peed himself. I did that at an R. Kelly show.
Jessalyn is that good, huh?
Yeah.
He peed himself. He peed my pants. Somebody in the audience might even piss your pants. Lip wrist.
Lip wrist. Yeah, his special was great.
funny dude i liked it i didn't see it i don't specials are hard to watch they're hard to watch i just can't do it even my good friends i'm like i'll see it i'll see it at some point yes but i can't watch them right away because i get the anxiety it's hard i get anxious for some work to watch it is chunks you do it in chunks that's doing chunks baby
All right. Well, hey, where are you? You got a special coming out?
Special coming out at the end of the year, next year. Go to andrewsantino.com. Go see me live. I want to sell out the beacon so bad. We'll be like you guys when I grow up.
Hell yeah. And check out Bad Friends, of course.
Check out the Bad Friends podcast with Whiskey Ginger. Check them both out. These guys have been on it. They've been on all of it. But you have been on Bad. You guys didn't do Bad together, did you? Have us on Bad together. Yo, that's right. I've never done Bad. We should do it together. Love to do Bad. No pressure. You know we'd love to have you.
Always. Thank you, boys. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you, dude. Comedy. All right.
What an app, boy.
Santino's the man.
Love it.
Great stuff. And where are you going to be?
I just finished San Antonio, I guess, so I will be at Liberty Township, Ohio, January 10th and 11th. I will be in Pittsburgh, January 23rd through 25th, and then the theaters start. Charlotte, Richmond, Philadelphia, D.C., Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, Nola, your town, Memphis, Knoxville, one of the best theaters, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta, Chicago.
durham these are all can say oh february too hell yeah and then we got like new haven providence portsmouth added a second show there thank you portsmouth portland maine burlington vermont montreal toronto buffalo albany columbus i mean it goes on and on samorelle.com slash shows or follow us on punch up yes punch up dot live slash samorelle punch up dot live slash mark normand oh yeah what do you got coming up
Right now, I'm in Houston, Texas, then Phoenix, then Addison Improv in Dallas.
It's a fun one.
Great little run of the South. And then I'm going to Asheville to make up a date because of the hurricane. Asheville, North Carolina. Love that town. And then ending it all in the Ryman, baby.
One of the best.
One of the best in Nashville. Can't wait. And then I'm going back to Europe and Australia at some point.
Whoa. But that's in like August. That fucking flight, dude. I know. The flight back, it's going to get you.
It kills you.
And then the time change. Can I tell you something, by the way? We didn't do this peeve, but feel this. How fucking bad are these fucking pillows? Flimsy. There's nothing there. There's no support. There's no neck support. I know. Look at this. Fucking nothing. This is bullshit. Every hotel. Listen. Instead of eight shitty pillows, one decent one.
Yeah. Just one. Enough with the jizz stains.
Jesus. I know. I'm sorry. I was horny.
But yeah, get some better pillows. Hit up Mike Lindell, whatever his name is.
All right. Love you guys. Bodega gets blown up for sure. I don't know why I said it's doing okay. I'm tired. I'm jet lagged. We're crushing. This is blowing up everywhere. All the clubs are buying it up. We're popping up in bars and steak houses. BodegaCatWhiskey.com and lots of cool stuff coming with this. So stay tuned. I hate when people say stay tuned. We'll back it up.
It's so douchey, though.
To be continued.
Big announcement coming. Those posts. Yeah. Oh, I hate that.
I hate that. And it's never big. It's always like, oh, I'm getting divorced. Actually, that would actually be pretty exciting. But it's not big for us. Yeah, right. All right. We'll see you all in hell. See you later.
Sunday. We'll be right back. I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans This woman doesn't look like I remember her And I get down in the same way