Jennifer Welch
Appearances
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
First, we've got Olivia. Hi, Jessica. Hi, Pumps. I'm originally from Poland, but I've been living in the U.S. for the past eight years. So I've accumulated an entire book of I've had it's about the American people. So let me at least share one. I've absolutely fucking had it with these stupid ass Instagram moms saying things like, thank you, my baby, for choosing me to be your mommy.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
No, you were raw dogging on vacation in Florida. You got pregnant and now you have a baby. Don't make anything more of it. And besides, how fucking narcissistic of you to think that this baby out of all the moms out there would choose your stupid ass who posts stuff like that on Instagram. Fucking clowns. Anyways, love you guys.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Yeah. So we're supposed to start the podcast.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
You should not name your child a name. Like, let's say Jennifer. Like, I know this poor woman named Jennifer, which a lot of people who were born in the 70s. I know I look great for my age. Oh, great. Yeah. Fabulous. A lot of women that were born in the 70s are named Jennifer. And this one friend of mine, her name is spelled G-E-N-I-F-E-R. That, why?
I've Had It
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The parents had a moment when they were young and dumb, and they thought, this is going to be so fun. That is a life sentence of trust. Just do a normal spelling. A normal spelling. Quit fucking around with your kids' names.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay. Now, Kylie has found something online that she and I reviewed. And I want her to do a presentation for Monet and Pumps because this is just wild. Okay. Let's pass it to the power lessee.
I've Had It
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If I don't want to stay out late, but I want for sure for the host and hostess to know that I showed up, I'll show up five minutes early. Five minutes early? I will. So they remember Jennifer was here. And then within 10 minutes.
I've Had It
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They're sitting out there. We have a Ted Cruz, a Donald Trump. And J.D. Vance. We need an Elon Musk.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I'm out. I'm in my pajamas. I'm fluffed up with my French Bulldogs living my best life.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Nobody would fuck him unless he had money. Let me ask you this, Monet. As a drag queen, and when you see all of the anti-drag vitriol coming out of MAGA, and then you see Trump every single day wear orange makeup, and you see the vice president of the United States, whose nickname that I have named him is a smoky-eyed sociopath, J.D.
I've Had It
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And then you find out that the Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, has put a makeup studio at the Pentagon, which that's super masculine. How do you feel? Like, what the fuck?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
That's what Jennifer says all the time. They're so repressed. Here's what I think. Okay, I have a theory. I think that a lot of these mega men watch a lot of porn, okay? And when they're watching porn, sometimes they see a hard rock penis and that excites them. That's the money shot. Well, then after that, then they're like, oh shit, that was kind of gay. I wasn't looking at the girl.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And so then they feel bad and they're praying, you know, Jesus, mega church, $4,000 of their salary, et cetera, that we reviewed earlier. Uh-huh.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
so then they're like god that was pretty exciting so then they're back on Pornhub and then they're going deeper and deeper and then I think they're so insanely jealous because out of the closet gay men and women or you know non-binary queer whatever all the all the letters are the bravest people in our society because to to come out and feel safe enough to be vulnerable to be ridiculed to be bullied to not
I've Had It
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be perceived as normal. And to do all of that despite that takes a lot of bravery. And then once they get there, all these queens are like, I'm going to have great fucking sex. So they have this shame-free sex because they've already done all this hard emotional work. And I think these MAGA men get a little aroused by Hard Rock Cox.
I've Had It
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And they're insanely jealous of gay men because you guys just have unemotional, transactional sex when you want to, if you want to. If you want to have a relationship style sex, you can. But you have removed the shame from sex. And they live in that.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And the number one thing they try to control, whether it's the megachurches, MAGA, whatever, it's always sex. The abortion issue is really because they don't want women having sex. And so their idea is, oh, well, if they slut around and they get pregnant, everybody should know. And then maybe in their fucked up minds, they think that woman's a little bit less fuckable.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
If she has a baby, not even taking into account the majority of abortions are done for reasons that aren't a birth control style situation. But they don't care because it's all about controlling sex. And then when you get to the liberated like pride parade and just how I love how like, you know, Roman and Greek it is. It's just like there's no shame. Yeah. Pop it out. Have fun with it.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Well, I'll tell you what. Our little Botox spa is right over here across the street. And have you been doing that? I'm doing M-Face next week. Yeah, we do this thing, M-Face. It hooks up to your face and it, like, exercises.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Y'all look great. All of it. Thank you. Well, thank you. That's a big compliment.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Kylie, here it is again. Here it is again. Everybody. So we did this podcast, right? For like a year. And then they were like, y'all need to go on tour. We're like, we're not going on tour. And the people at our agency were like, trust us. Nobody's going to show up. They said, trust us. People are going to show up. So we go on tour and then we have this like VIP meet and greet. Okay.
I've Had It
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So people would walk up to us and they'd go. Guys are so pretty. They're actually pretty. And we were just like, Kylie puts a hammered dog shit filter on the computer because the shock and awe. It's shock. But I will say, okay, one time we were in LA.
I've Had It
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It's like a bad profile picture. We look worse in photos than we do in person. But one time we went, we went, we were in Los Angeles. We had a live show there and we go, we arrived from LAX. We go to the concierge desk and we're like, Hey, we need to make sure the hair people and the makeup people are in our room at this time. And the guy's like, yeah, okay, sure. No problem.
I've Had It
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So we got our room and like five hours later, we come back down to the concierge desk. And this guy, two gay guys behind us, this guy goes crazy.
I've Had It
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I didn't even recognize you guys. You guys look great. I mean, he was his jaw on the floor. He was still talking about the next day when we checked out. He was. He goes, hey, I can't get over how good y'all looked last night.
I've Had It
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You emailed us some. I'll put this list in front of you here if you would like to review.
I've Had It
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I have to say, like, when I see a dog on a plane or anywhere, it makes me happier. Yeah. I would rather fly on a plane with dogs than people.
I've Had It
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Oh my gosh. I remember what I wanted to talk to you guys about. Okay. So my son, Roman, my other son that still lives at home, he's a senior in high school. So his really good friend, Jaden, they played AAU basketball together. And Jaden sent us this screenshot and it was like a picture of him and he was like in a text and it was like, please come to my prom send off. And it had a time.
I've Had It
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And so I was just like, ha ha. Like, I didn't know if that was real or what that was.
I've Had It
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Okay. So I mean, I don't know. And so I didn't know what the prom, why we were invited because my kids go to different schools, et cetera.
I've Had It
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So, That night, Roman and I are having dinner and my husband gets home and he goes, did y'all go to Jaden's prom send off? And I was like, no, that's ridiculous. What's a prom send off? And my son Roman goes, mom, that's a culture thing. You can't be like that because Jaden's black. And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, that's just their culture.
I've Had It
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They have a big prom send off and they invite people to go and you need to not be like that. And he like totally checked me.
I've Had It
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So tell me, because of course I love Jay, but tell me about the culture thing of the prom send-off in black communities.
I've Had It
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And so Roman, I mean, he immediately goes, Mom, it's the culture. Like, why are you poo-pooing on the culture? And I was like, you know, I love Jaden Nickens. He calls me Mama Jen. Like, I've known that kid since he was in second grade. I didn't know.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I thought he was like grandstanding about being sent off to the borderline called, you know, not an ally of the black community, which good on my 18 year old son. But OK, so for Rowan's prom, it's just like you get together at some parent's house and everybody does some different combination groups of photos and then skirt and that's it.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
You know, I don't think you should because, you know, first of all, proms are overrated. They are expensive. Yeah.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah. But I bet that, you know, could be there's that's probably a lot of the gay experience. Yeah. That's like, you know, you get to a point where. Like, you know you're probably gay, and then if you take a girl, that's some expectation you're gonna have to get it up for. I mean, that can be exhausting.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay, let me ask you this. As a little boy, what did you play with?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So let me tell you all what I've had it with. It's kind of like pumps, but it's a little bit of a nuance. So I hate small talk. That goes without saying. And I think we're going to dive into that with you later. But this is a niche part of small talk. It's digital small talk.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
You know what you should do is get you an Etsy page. Right. And put curses on Trump and J.D. Vance with your nails.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
It's a great idea. Yeah. So you did the nails. And then when did you think that when did you start thinking I might be gay or when did when does that experience like is it with hormones before hormones?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I love that. All right, let's get to your next grievance. Yes. This one here.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Here's what bugs me the most about the Trump administration is just that nobody values expertise. Like, call me crazy, but, like, I would say that you're an expert in drag. Yes. Okay? Yeah. So you couldn't take somebody like Elon Musk and him be an expert in that. But this is what all these fuckers have done. RFK Jr. is not a scientist. He reads a bunch of junk science.
I've Had It
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A lot of little nuggets dropped in DMs or in text messages. And it just doesn't end despite you using like a closing thumbs up emoji and making sure they see no bubble like this. We're pumping the brakes here with all this chitchat. And so it's like now the small talk infection, disease, it's infecting everywhere. It's infecting text streams. It's infecting DMs.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And then now he's dangerous. Right. And now he's, you know, there's a measles outbreak and all of these totally preventable things. And I just read that now they're not going to be checking chicken for salmonella anymore. Right.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
But you know what? It's so that people don't have to see pronouns in people's emails. Right. You know, we'll have salmonella, but the MAGA that get triggered by pronouns, they won't have to see that.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay, I have another theory, and I know that you and I are going to be simpatico on it. Yeah, tell me. Okay. Back to the megachurches and the religion. These people that are indoctrinated in that brand of Christianity, when they start critically thinking and asking, wait a minute. There were only two humans that started the whole earth, and how did we get more?
I've Had It
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And they start asking a lot of questions. You can't question God's faith. So whenever you critically think, you're told it's a sin and it's blasphemy. So then that is just reinforced throughout your whole life. And then they get to adulthood, and they don't have the ability to critically think.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
My opinion, because you have like MAGA and Christian nationalism are like this, and they're completely interwoven. And I think that evangelical Christianity set the psychological soil by discouraging critical thinking. People believe that people used to be 900 years old, that Jonah's living in a whale, Noah's parading around in some yacht with all these animals. You know, that's fucking crazy.
I've Had It
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Crazy. He's 900 years old. Everybody knows that didn't happen. Right. Some guys getting all liquored up with his daughters and screwing his daughter. So it's just a lot of bad shit going on in there. Right. But if anybody questions it, then they tell you're a sin. That's blasphemy, et cetera. So then they are primed. to fall prey to all of this authoritarianism.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And I just think that critical thinking is something that hurts them. Like when they start to critically think, like it injures them and they're, they're averse to it because they have been discouraged from doing it all the time. And now we have an administration that's attacking, like, can you imagine like Harvard is a bad idea? Right. Shut up.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And I think American culture has always valued individualism over collectivism. And we've always valued money over people getting health care. And so Donald Trump is a manifestation of all of our worst impulses as a culture. And we bred him, we popped him out. Oh, my God.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
For money. It's just such a grifter. When we were younger, there was this preacher named Oral Roberts. O-R-A-L was the first name. Oral. We'll visit that in just a second. Oral Roberts. And he is a big televangelist, and he locked himself up, and he said, if I don't get $2 million, God's going to kill me. And televangelism was a big thing in the 80s and 90s. Tammy Faye.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah, exactly. So my grandmother, his meeting... Which was high camp, by the way.
I've Had It
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And so my grandmother had sent money and all these people sent money to Oral Roberts. I think he's dead now, but he ended up getting the money. But there is an actual university in Tulsa, Oklahoma called Oral Roberts University. It has these big praying hand statues. And I'm just thinking... America is so dumb.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
They took a dumb, corrupt, grifter, con artist man that lied to people who should have been in prison for ripping off senior citizens saying that God was going to kill him. And they made a university. And that's all legal. And that's all legal. But we're mad at Harvard.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah, could you imagine? I would feel like an abject failure if my child went to Oral Roberts University.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay. All right. Now it's time. You remember our game, Had It or Hit It?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had It or Hit It, newborn babies.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah, I'm not a big, and we had newborns, but I'll tell you what, neither one of us really liked babies or children. We started this whole movement that it's called the Toddler Advocacy Program. And we're such advocates for toddler that we think that parents need to keep them closer and not let them go out into the world as much.
I've Had It
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That parents are endangering their children by taking them to restaurants, on planes, to shopping centers. They need to keep their kids at home for their safety.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And it's weird that you can feel awkward about a text message. Right. Like, I've been – in person, you get feeling awkward. But I've been like, oh, my God, how do I respond to this? What do I say? What do I do? Why are we even talking? Like, okay, I'll just do a thumbs up. And then you know they think that you're the biggest bitch on the planet. Uh-huh. And it's just exhausting.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
It is stressful. I agree. We need to pray for precedented times. Okay, had it or hid it, the Luigi Mangione case.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah, I think the message behind Luigi's doing that was a call for action because the point that UnitedHealthcare was using artificial intelligence to deny people healthcare so that they could make more money is so profoundly evil and that UnitedHealthcare killed so many of its customers by denying them claim for profits and it gets us back to that as a culture. What do we value?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
And sadly, Americans as a whole, not us, not the three of us, all of America, value, you know, the individual capitalism and all of those structures. Now, I will say, I think Luigi Mangione is hot and all that. I don't think the solution to this is to kill people in the streets, but the case and all that.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I read it. I love all the memes online. I'm into all... I mean, I think he's wildly attractive.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
His whole life is like... I feel bad because I think maybe... I think maybe he wasn't okay when it happened. When it happened, yeah. You know, because I think he probably would have played the tape through. I understand that you want to make a big case for something, but... Yeah. Yeah, it's... The whole thing is... I feel bad for him.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay. What do you think the likelihood is that when J.D. Vance gets home from work and he goes to the, what is it called? The Naval, what's the name? Naval Observatory. Naval Observatory. I just envision the following, that he's like, Usha, I can't talk. I'm going to be in my study.
I've Had It
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In his study, he has like a trunk and he opens it up and he has stilettos and feather boas and eyelashes and eyeliner and wigs and clip-on earrings. And he just gets it out of his system.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yes. And then I envision originally he does his lipstick properly and then he does some twirls around and then he just starts feeling crazy and unhinged. And then he takes it and he's just putting it all over. And he's like, you know, and then he has it like on his fingers and he's rubbing his chest and the eyeliner is going. And then he's like, you know, it's like, oh, yes.
I've Had It
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And then he showers and exfoliates. You've thought about this too much. I have. I have thought about it. And you know what? The Chinese have been thinking about it, too. Have you seen all those eyeliner memes on TikTok?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
They're so good. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Kylie, download one so you can play it for Monday. You're going to DIE. They're so good. I'm not thinking about this in a vacuum. The Chinese have been thinking about this, too. Kylie's going to get something to show you. Let's move along. Had it or hit it, Fyre Festival 2.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
She says it's happening again. It was a huge grift and they're doing it again. I feel like MAGA is fire festival too.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Monet. We are America's top thruple, America's top DEI podcast coming at you live from Action City. Action City. Big tits in the big city is here. That's pumps, of course. And oh my God, Monet. Yeah.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay, okay, watch this. Watch this, Monet. It's all over Chinese TikTok.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Because he called them Chinese peasants. There are hundreds of these. Hundreds. That's so good. And it's like, J.D. Vance called us peasants. J.D. Vance, who do you think makes your eyeliner? And it has J.D. Vance doing the eyeliner. They are trolling the shit out of him. Oh, my God. That's so good. But here's the thing. Think about this. Go down this conspiracy theory with me. Tell me. Tell me.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
China would have psychological files on high-profile Americans. They're a big country, big government. They've got spies. They have a lot of technology. They can do spy shit. They have satellites. So they just start rolling out all this J.D. Vance out there, queening it up on TikTok. I don't think my theory about the hidden drag trunk is that far off.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
yeah because trump's an easier target because he wears the heavier makeup and the hair and the lifts and all that yeah but they're not saying that about him about jd vance well he he has been i will say i'm a connoisseur of jd vance's eyeliner and i pumps and i did a whole episode where you can see during the day he does it a day line And then he has a TV ready. It's a little bit heavier.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
He has an evening. And then he has a full-blown pre-smokey. We think that we're just one or two news cycles away from him going a full-blown smokey eye on national television.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I'll tell you what. When he pops, when he finally goes from pre-smoky eye to full smoky eye, I don't care what time it is. I don't care where we are. We're going live. Right. Right here in the studio. And it will be breaking news. Sound the sirens. I mean, we will cover it from top to bottom. And we will have to Zoom you.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
We will have to analyze, have still shots every single bit of it. Okay. All right. Had it or hid it, the United States of America.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I agree. I agree with you because when I think about our multicultural nation and, you know, just all of the craziness of the United States, all the bad parts, the trashy parts, all the fabulous parts. Yeah. It's us. It's us. Right. It's ours. And we have to fight for it. And the world is counting on us to fight for it and to fight for everybody.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Let me ask you this. Do you have any family members that are MAGA?
I've Had It
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I have one final story to leave y'all with. You'll get the biggest kick out of this, Monet, and I don't think Pumps knows this. So during this most recent election, I live in, I would say, a 99.9% white neighborhood. So my husband comes home from work and he goes, well, the weirdest fucking thing just happened.
I've Had It
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The house two blocks south of us just put up two MAGA signs in their front yard, and they're black.
I've Had It
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How's that? No! We're the only black family that lives in this godforsaken whiteness, and they're fucking MAGA. He goes, it's just such a disappointment to me. No! Yes! And they had two, they're a corner house and they had, and I was just like, cause I remember when they moved in Roman, my son that told me, you know, the prompts and off the culture, he was like, love this.
I've Had It
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We need to have more color in this neighborhood. And I go, I agree. I agree. That family popped up MAGA signs.
I've Had It
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It was so upsetting because we had these great signs and it said Harris, obviously. Yeah. And I live on the corner too. And so I had him both ways, no matter who passed. And then we had more Harris signs in our neighborhood than we did Trump signs. So my husband was just devastated.
I've Had It
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It really upsets him because he like he, that kind of stuff. He's a criminal defense lawyer and he is, I mean, he despises racism. He can't even watch the news because everything that, Maga says is somehow racially coded. And it just drives him insane. And he's a recovering drug addict. So for his serenity, he's like, I just can't fucking watch it.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So when he saw that black family double dip two Maga signs, it just destroyed him.
I've Had It
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You know, it's so important that we stand up for everybody and that democracy is for everybody. We don't cherry pick who gets freedom of expression or freedom of speech. And for me, the most marginalized people are the people we should protect the most. And I just think it's super important. I want to read you guys a text message that my son sent me. Aw.
I've Had It
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Devastating. God, awful. Only in Oklahoma. Monet, I hope your show is fabulous. It's going to be great.
I've Had It
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I love it. We love you. And pumps tell them, we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
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we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So I got in a fight with this Democratic strategist, Rahm Emanuel. I saw it. I saw the clip.
I've Had It
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You're going to see. Okay, so my son graduated high school with a trans woman. And once she graduated is when she transitioned, and my son has stayed in contact. And so her name is Aiden, and she sent my son, and they haven't spoken in like a year or so, the following text message after seeing that clip. Dylan, I hope you're holding up all right and that life is treating you kindly.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I'm messaging you because I saw a video of your mom tearing Rahm Emanuel, a new asshole, in defense of transgender, and it made me really happy. And if you're willing, it would be so epic if you could let her know that I really appreciated her for doing that and that she should keep up the good work.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
and that it makes me feel a little bit better about our current political situation to see someone like her stick up for me and my bitches so publicly and with such intensity. And particularly, it's nice to see someone like her really insist on the importance of protecting trans people to the Democratic Party operatives who want to sacrifice and dispose of us. She really tore, I must say.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So when you do something like that, and then I just get ripped on Fox News, which I have thick skin. I wear my big girl panties. I choose every day to sit in front of this microphone. Unlike Donald Trump and Elon Musk, I'm not a titty baby and I will not sit here and be a victim. But when your son, who's a senior in college at Syracuse, and some friend of his sends him this.
I've Had It
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You guys, this is a big day in the big city. Big tits in the big city is here. It is Monet X Change. She is a gay-triot. She is a patriot. She is a they-triot. She is a black-triot. She is all that and a side of chips. And she is an OKC. Pumps has got on her push-up bra. It is big tits, big time here in OKC. Two pairs of big tits right here. Yeah. All right.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
This you have to multiply in every state, in every small town, and these people exist everywhere. And if it made them feel like somebody was fighting for them, then I'm gonna rev up the fight even more.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I haven't heard that before. That tells you I'm in it. She tore. I tore, pumps. I tore. Okay, let's check in with the power lesbian sect of the podcast. Kylie, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Monique, tell our listener how fabulous and power lessee Kylie is.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Really? I was shocked by that. 48 hours. Yeah, 48 hours. Did Ana pick it out or did you pick it out? I did. Really? Her girlfriend. You want to talk about like the prettiest lesbians you've ever seen in your life.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I think I should have been too. I think I should have been a lesbian too. I'm built for it.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Here's the thing that I've come to realize. Lesbians are greater than all others.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
They're better in sports. They're better in work settings. They're better friends. The one thing that I think would be exhausting about lesbianism is a lot of emotions. Like Kylie and Anna have matching tattoos. They get photographs professionally taken together. There is a lot of public French kissing. I don't think I'm a good candidate in that regard. No.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Because, like, if my husband's ever too clingy with me, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Yeah. Sometimes it's like hit the bricks. I'll let you know when it's time to do that. And then immediately after complete separation, don't want to hug. Don't want to cuddle. Don't need it.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
That's the megachurch. People on the coast don't understand what this is.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
On top of all of that, and this is just something that's tangible that I always like to probably, the architecture. Yes. These churches, my God, is that not the tackiest shit you've ever seen in your life? If you're going to be that rich, hire a goddamn good architect. At least the Catholics did that, for fuck's sake.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
These nouveau Christians and their taste is just awful. Have you seen what Trump's done to the Oval Office? Oh my God, it is... Hobby Lobby chic? Somebody online said dictator chic.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Here's the thing. You know what that stuff is? They're little applique things they bought at Gay Hating Hobby Lobby. And somebody spray painted it. And I can tell you this much. You can tell... how anti-gay this administration is based on two things. The decor of the Oval Office and the makeup and hair and the crosses of all the MAGA women speaking on his behalf.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
So let's go around the table first with what we've had it with. Monet, let's do you. Just one little one before we dive into the big group.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
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Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
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Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah.
I've Had It
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I do too. Everybody needs a token straight male. We need our straight male allies.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
For women, for the LGBTQ plus community, we need white men to, align with us.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
I agree. It truly is. But instead, you know what they're doing? They're having a stage five meltdown. titty babies.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Okay. I have a new story I want to share with you in the past. You guys, this is wild. Okay. There is a viral study. A viral study shows the stark difference in popular baby names between blue and red states. Okay. Blue girl names, Fiona, Liana, Mira, Miriam, Kira, Miriam, Nina, Aisha or Aisha, I don't know, Paige and Kayla. Okay, red state girl names. It's all the bad ones.
I've Had It
Protect the Voodoo Dolls
Oak Lee is spelled O-A-K-L-E-I-G-H. Grace Lynn, Wrenley, W-R-E-N-L-E-Y, Blakely, Collins, another Oakley, O-A-K-L-E-E, Saylor, S-A-Y-L-O-R, and then another Oakley, O-A-K-L-E-Y. Okay, here's the thing. We all know now. If we ever meet somebody named Oakley. Oakley, red flag, turn around and run as fast as you can. If you meet a male named Oakley, you got, you cannot, you cannot hit it.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Okay. Did he get the eight million? Because it seems like he didn't. He did. He did.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Yes, and we all talked about it. Like, it was like, oh, my gosh. And, like, you'd have to – like, I remember missing class in college when there was something going on on days. Like, I couldn't miss it because there was something going on on days. Like, I should have just skipped to Friday because nothing would have happened. But anyway, yeah, soap operas were huge.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
And so all of a sudden, like the self-awareness slapped me in the face. And I was just like, you know what? You don't care. I'm going to go stand over here and wait for the paint. I mean, I was just hanging my head in shame that I had become a yak mouth defending a French bulldog to somebody that I don't even fucking know or care about. And I will never see again. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
And I loved you on Days of Our Lives. I remember you always going in and causing trouble in that little room by the nurse's station. And I just thought, I fucking love her. Wow.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
No, I was all in. I mean, I remember when you were coming on, the first thing that thought in my head was, oh my gosh, Billy's coming on.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw! We're doing one more caw-caw because Trump's America. We need all the caw-caws we can get.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
No fan like a soap fan. As you can tell, 35 years later, we're still, we're team Billy.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
No, because I've apologized 50 times and said, oh my God, I can't believe now I get it. No. Do you want another one? Because I'll give you one.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
In the permanent record. Okay. All the shit I gave you about Tebby and all your over-the-top mothering about Tebby, I was 100% wrong. I didn't understand it. I didn't get it. I didn't have a frame of reference for the kind of love that you can have for one of these dogs and that this dog can turn you into a nut. Right. Just a fucking nut. Yeah.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
And at the same time that you want to just scream because – This little French bulldog acts like such a shit. And then he gives me a little face and I just melt away. So I am sorry. Thank you. I forgive you. Thank you. Yeah, I forgive you.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
It's so stupid. And I really do think, I mean, not to like take it too far, but I do think it sets women back.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Spinning around saying, oh, make your husband happy, make him a hot meal. I mean, fuck off.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Here's the thing. Sometimes you meet people and you think. I really like this person. I think they're cool. I like they're outspoken, all the things. And they under deliver. Not Lisa Rinna.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I wonder what they would say. You know, here's when somebody says that like, oh, I don't let my dog on the sofa or I don't let my dog sleep with me. I don't let my dog eat people food. Just quit bragging. Shut the fuck up. I think it's a flex. I think they think they're flexing. Like my dog's better behaved than your dog. That's what I kind of get.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I just want to get to the point where I can say my dog doesn't attack other dogs. That's my goal. I can't even fathom the sleeping and the couch.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Okay, what I've had it with is the person that I have become because of my French bulldog. I have become everything I hate in people, on the internet, in real time. Yesterday, I went to the paint store talking to my neighbor because he's my builder. He has Frenchies. We're talking about our Frenchies.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I will say, I do think we've had a couple of really good ideas on the problem solving. The TSA people, but if you're not ready. Social referees. Social referee, you have to go to the back of the line. Uber rating.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
People at restaurants, like the patrons. Don't vote for Trump. That was a great idea. And we pushed that.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
We'll fix it. Solutions are us. That's what we need to change the name to and really push our social referees.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Yeah. Remember the girl that fell down the well? It was in Texas. Yes. The little baby. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It took me a minute.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Yeah. Yeah. For obvious reasons. They have lots of freedoms. They're hot. You know. Trump's not their president. Number one, first and foremost. Mike Johnson doesn't run around. They're not religious whack jobs. Right. They're normal. Yeah.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I start telling him about the trials and tribulations of my dog that attacks other dogs, that attacks my oldest child, all these things. The guy at the register... says to me, oh, you have a French bulldog, yeah. I heard a lot of bad things about them. And instead of just being like, who the fuck cares? This guy's just trying to get your paint.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I was recently in France. And I will be the first to tell you I fall for most scams, pretty much most scams. But when I read that story, I thought, why would she think Brad Pitt needed $800,000? And then that makes more sense that Angelina froze his assets, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I go back to...
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
If you haven't seen him in person, like as crazy as I am about falling for scams, I hate to say it, but I just don't think I would send somebody $850,000 that I'd never met in person. Moreover, that I think is Brad Pitt.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Yeah. Because when you don't say it out loud, sometimes when you're just in your head and you're like, oh, okay. And then you say it out loud. You're like, that fucking is crazy. Right. But I really don't think I would send $850,000 to a person that I've never seen in person. So let's do your punch list.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Here's the sad thing about that. People called that number and gave money because of that. I mean, that's so fucking crazy. And that is not limited to this generation. I remember, now you're probably too young. But there was a crazy ass minister in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oral Roberts. Oral Roberts. And he locked himself in the top floor of a building. Like it was a super high building.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
I have to go into a long diatribe about the attributes of my dog. When I start telling him that I'm an empty nester with the first puppy after my kids leave, that is when I realized that You're a yak mouth. You're talking to somebody about something they don't care about. All he wants to do is to check you off the list and get you out of his face.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
And he said he would not come down because Jesus would not want him to come down until he had a million dollars in donations. And as soon as he got the million dollars in donations... Boom. I don't know if it was... I thought he said that God was going to kill him if he didn't get the donations.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots. Fuck off! Welcome to the top DEI podcast in the United States of America where we embrace diversity, equity, inclusion. And I'm going to go by the pronouns she, her today just to trigger Fox News. Well, I think if that's what we're doing, I'm they, them.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I think all of this people start to believe that they know more than science and then that catches on. And then there is this new peer pressure that. that has started. And it's so much more powerful than any other peer pressure we've ever seen. And it is the peer pressure of mom talk or the momosphere on social media.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And somebody has to go on and grandstand that they have their organic vegetable garden and they do this and they mash the food and they do all these things because she's a real mom that loves her babies and doesn't give them chemicals, et cetera. And then you have people that, you know, or maybe not they're younger. You just get so much wiser as you get on.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yeah, I could not agree more. The amount of frustration that we have had with robots is— in the era just before AI is really about to take off has been maddening. So I imagine these frustrations are only going to exacerbate unless the robots get smarter, which maybe they are. I don't know. But we're going to get more of this, not less of this. I know.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Like, well, my God, I've got to do that same thing. It's just this unsustainable bullshit. And it's just the fact that like people think RFK Jr., Right. And Joe Rogan are somehow scientists. They're health experts. It's wild. And it always makes me go back to any medical doctors that are triple Trumpers. How?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
How do you vote against all of the years that you've dedicated your life of peer review, data, studying, results, etc. ?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Well, all of this too is there's just such a political slant to it because Michelle Obama had a whole like let's move program. And it's about kids. It's like combating childhood obesity, which was on the rise and getting in this modern era where we sit a lot more, we're a lot more idle, emphasizing exercise and healthier food choices.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Fox News, all of the right wings had stage five meltdowns and hers was actually based on real science, real like if you exercise, these are the benefits to it. If you eat healthier choices in school lunches, these are the long term benefits of it. Now they're all in on this, but it's junk science. But isn't that everything with Trumpism? Isn't the whole thing just built on a total lie?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
The entire movement is all based on greed and grifting. Absolutely. And all of this, all of this Maha stuff is all grift. And it's like, buy this sunscreen instead of this. I mean, I think it's like, you know, a lot of these people in Trump's administration had these podcasts. That's their, it'd be like you and I being in the presidential administration. We're wholly unqualified, right?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But Dan Bongino or whatever it is, he only got in front of Trump's orbit. It's not because he has any sort of skill because he had a podcast. That's it. And had his lips on Trump's ass the whole podcast. That's it. But on all of these podcasters' websites, Alex Jones, Bongino, Kash Patel, they sell all these supplements and all of these rackets. So it's just a greedy grift is all it is.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Here's the thing that I think is to segue like my I've had it where with this one, you have these teachers who are trained professionals. They're not trying to regender your child. That is a myth. They're teaching facts and textbooks. They are trained to do it. They are not paid enough. And then you have this line of just traitors.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
triggered parents that are wound up high as kites on Fox News and right wing media that go in there with these conspiracy theories in their brain and just lay into all these people. And the same thing is happening to medical doctors. You have all of these people who are
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
juiced up on Fox News or Ben Shapiro or Dan Bongino or whatever, Robert F. Kennedy, all these quacks, total nuts, laughed out of the scientific community, hands down. The United States of America compared to other first world countries gives these fringe quack science worlds more oxygen than other places do.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And something is going to have to change if we make it through this fascist regime to where when people are talking about a junk science that it is labeled as such on the screen, this information has not been peer-reviewed.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
You know, if you're talking about not putting sunscreen on a child and that it's better to, you know, have vitamin D, I'll tell you, I'll tell you a prime example is I'll never forget it. So it was during COVID and I went, I think I was getting Botox. All right. And we're talking maybe like six weeks, six months into the lockdown when I really needed it. I hadn't had any in like six months.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It was a medical emergency. Yeah. So I go in and my main girl couldn't do it. So it was like her nurse. And I had a mask on because I was just getting it like in my brow and my forehead. Well, the nurse had her mask on and she was asking me like if I was going to get the vaccine. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm totally going to get the vaccine.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And the question she asked me was a leading question because she goes, oh, I'm not. I just want my immune system to pop. And she started like moving her body like this. She goes, I just want my immune system to pop. She had the syringe in her hand and I'm just like, oh my God.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And she goes, yeah, you know, I go to the grocery store and I don't wear a mask because I'm like, just give me all this stuff. I want my immune system to build up. And she had to have a mask on in this room. Yeah. And I was like, you don't wear a mask to the grocery store? And she says, no.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I mean, and people like, you know, walk away from me, but I kind of always look at them and I'm like, I want the germs. I want the immunity building properties of the air of this grocery store. She's like real unhinged. And I remember just thinking, oh my God. And she's like, you know, we don't know what's in that vaccine.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I was like, I don't know what's in those poison you're about to inject into my forehead, but I don't give a shit. I want these wrinkles gone. I don't care what's in the COVID vaccine. I want it because I trust the decades-long virology and immunology experts that have studied such a thing.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I also know that I had grandparents from the greatest generation where each grandparent had like nine or ten siblings. All four of my grandparents had a couple of siblings that died due to diseases that have since been eradicated because of the advancement of modern medicine and vaccinations.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
A lot of measles was eradicated in the United States. Not in Texas anymore. But here's the weird thing about the vax movement. It started off on the left. It started off in San Francisco and it was like the crunchy liberal people that didn't want chemicals in their body, right? And I remember there was a little outbreak.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I can't remember if it was measles or something, but this would have been back probably during the Obama era. And there was a little outbreak in like San Francisco area, like crunchy liberals, wealthy liberals that were like, we eat organic. You know, we're not going to get vaccinated. And they quickly learned after this outbreak, like, OK, we're going to get vaccinated. And then it swung.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
This movement has swung from the left to the right. So some of these French issues are not even so much.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Maggie, even though it's fun to blame everything on them, is that are these fringe issues the luxury of living in an industrialized world where you can you have the luxury of of having access, if you're wealthy, to health care and thinking, oh, maybe I won't get vaccinated, where if you live in Africa.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Or another, you know, India, developing nations, and you can get a vaccine where you've seen people die of AIDS. You've seen it happen. You've seen people you love die of these viruses. And somebody says, I can give you this shot and you're going to have an immunity for it and you won't get it, nor will it kill you. You're racing to the front of the line to get that.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I know. It's so frustrating to – it's not customer service. It's customer disservice. It is. They do their customers a disservice that you cannot call and solve a problem because they're just constantly cutting jobs to enrich the profits. And I just wish that we would ramp up customer service a little bit more because then you have angry customers.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
No, because I mean, it's... I think there's a dissonance involved in all of this where somebody, you know, like I can't, I remember when Facebook, you know, started, everybody was a researcher.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Shit. She went to high school with, you know, and they're conducting their own research on certain things. It's so stupid. You know, these people are dumber than a box of hot rocks. But, you know, it's a really interesting question to pose because it's you know, there's freedom. You know, you should have medical freedom.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But then what are the moral implications of where if somebody doesn't want to get vaccinated and then we have these measles outbreaks and sudden deaths? I don't know how. how to handle that in a free society. I'm over my skis on the moral implications of how to execute that. However, I do think you fundamentally have to embrace education and the endorsement of facts.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And that has dissipated and is going to continue to dissipate under the current administration because his goal is to shut down the Department of Education. Right. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. From vacation rentals to hotels across the US, Booking.com has the ideal summer stay for absolutely anyone, even those who might seem impossible to please.
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I personally just booked a trip for my sons and I to go to New York City, and I found the perfect hotel in the perfect location, and we were able to tackle the city with enthusiasm and convenience, and I just absolutely love this site. If our family can find their perfect stay on Booking.com, anyone can. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com. Booking.yeah.
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Book today on the site or in the app. All right, everybody's trying to get their hands on Ozempic or WeGoV, and it's such a hassle. You have to negotiate with your insurance provider, and that shouldn't be something you worry about. This is why Pumps loves Rowe so much.
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I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Go to Roe.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications. All right, I have some news stories I would like to share. The first one is, did you know babies look longer at faces they find pretty and less at unattractive ones? And I have to tell you and the listener, babies just stare at me.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And then you end up having no customer because then you're like, screw it. I'm going to discontinue the service because I hate these people and I hate this robot. Right. That's exactly what I did. All right. So I'm just going to go into what I've had it with. And you went on about this at length last year when your youngest son was a senior. And this year, my youngest son is a senior. Right.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I'll even be at an airport and there's some baby just, I mean, just staring at me. And I'm just like, these babies like to stare at me. So I am just tickled pink to see this report.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I mean, my two little nieces and my two little nephews and then one niece, I mean, they're just, I mean, it's intense eye contact. I'll tell you what, my dogs do the same thing. All right, next up. This is so crazy. We have to talk about this. Okay, Facebook allegedly detected when teen girls deleted selfies so it could serve them beauty ads. This is what puts money in all our pockets.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So Mark Zuckerberg's company, Facebook, think about this. If you see these teen girls on Instagram, which Facebook owns Instagram, and they post a selfie and then they feel insecure about it and delete it. I bet this happens a lot because that generation is so risk adverse. Meta knows they have done this and then starts sending them beauty ads. That is so diabolical.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And so then you have to ask, okay, how did Mark Zuckerberg... Go from being a left wing person, you know, or or somebody identified as as a more liberal supporter of politics than a MAGA supporter. How did he go from that and how did he swing all the way to being in Trump's. uh, first two rows of his inauguration. How'd that happen? Well, here's what happens. Greed.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So these people would read, they have these incredibly powerful companies. And when it comes time for the government to institute some consumer protections on them, like stopping this kind of shit or making sure that algorithms are less addictive, not more addictive or Or, you know, the targeted ads. There's some government regulation over that so that their product has longevity.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So that maybe in the short term it's less money, but in the long term it's a safer imprint on humanity than what this heaping pile of dog shit is. Well, that's not good enough for them. It has to be immediate. It has to be now.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And so you have all of these billionaires that are greedy and Trump enables their greed and lies to the public and says that they want unregulated, that they want these regulations removed. You heard Jeff Bezos say, it's going to be great to have all these regulations removed. Motherfucker, you have like $400 billion. Right. Who is regulating you, Jeff Bezos?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Who is regulating you, Mark Zuckerberg? And aren't these regulations like for the long term of your company when you when your obituary is written? Do you want it to be his invention completely ruined all of humanity and didn't care about human beings? All he cared about was own personal profit. And I guess that's what they want.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And the amount of senior activities is unbelievable. This is the most celebrated generation I've ever seen. And right now I'm going to do a dramatic reading of a list of items that were texted in a parent group me, not to the seniors that are 18 years old, but to the parents. We're in.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And wouldn't you want your product, if you have a product used by billions of people worldwide, billions, Facebook, Instagram, billions of users. do you want your product to have been an instrument for good and help and human advancement? Or would you want it to be an instrument for human destruction? And they consistently show that they would rather have the destruction.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Mind you, all of these people had banned Donald Trump, rightfully so, from being on social media because he incited an insurrection and it was dangerous and people died. And they tried to overturn democracy and they had crystal clear clarity on this.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But then as it goes on, they see that the Biden administration and Congress are hauling their asses in in front saying, hey, what's going on with these algorithms? What's going on with this? What's going on with that? And we need oversight. You cannot have unregulated, unsupervised capitalism because it causes damage to civilization.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Zuckerberg in particular with these messaging apps and Musk with Twitter are causing generational damage to humanity. You have a generation that grew up with these cell phones in front of them. They are depressed, higher suicide rates, higher addiction rates, higher anxiety, all of these things. Because as a parent, you cannot gauge who is helping, who is in their ear.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
You don't know what algorithm they're down. But these media companies, if they truly cared, could set up on their own, we are going to have, you know, a... Age verification, if the person is under 14, this is the level of algorithm that they get and only this type of stuff. They don't want to do any of that. And it's just like these megachurches.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They want to get people young, get them indoctrinated early, get them hook, line, and sinker. And it's just such a damaging component to what's happening to our kids' generation. And the fact that you have this powerful product and it never occurs to you – You know, it could cut profits, but fuck, I already have $400 billion. Right. How much more money can I spend?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
You know, maybe I should be the ringleader on the regulations and work hand in hand with Congress to make sure we're delivering a safer product for future generations. But nope. And that's why they raised to Donald Trump because they're like, hey, here's a million dollars for your inauguration. You're so hot. Makeup looks great today. And he's like, yep. No regulations for you. Right.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And then that's the end of it. And it's just this really damaging thing. And also within that movement, the algorithms are rigged to support the owner's political preferences. Absolutely. Yeah. Right. All right. Next up, we have a story. Female frogs fake their own death to avoid mating with males they don't like. Right. This behavior observed in certain European frog species.
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Of course they're European. Of course. Is used as a last resort when females are overwhelmed or harassed by multiple males during breeding season. This discovery sheds light on the hidden dynamics of mating behavior in the animal kingdom and and adds a fascinating twist to natural selection.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It also reveals that some female animals have evolved unique defense mechanisms to retain autonomy in the mating process.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
The parents have days long multi-message group me back and forth, back and forth, thumbs up, hearting, liking, commenting about activities in which their child needs to take the lead on. But this is just something that I received. Upcoming senior activities, senior sunset, senior skip day, senior parade. senior slideshow, senior staircase photo. Mind you, all of these are different dates. Okay.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Let's dive into that. You really never liked having sex with your husband. I remember that distinctly. Before we got married, I did.
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Make America Hot Again
about him I don't think he's that cute he fucking talks too much he's the yak mouth and I'm stuck because I had to have a great big wedding in nine bright spades yeah that was what I did so last night we were at that Thunder game and they're playing the Oklahoma City Thunders playing the Minnesota Timberwolves and on the Minnesota Timberwolves is this seven foot tall basketball player named Rudy Gobert
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Make America Hot Again
And he's tall and he has like this beautiful color of skin. It's like a cappuccino color. And he has like a very chiseled face. And we're sitting kind of behind the visitor bench. And he does his arms up like this. And he's like flexing his muscles, like stretching. And I'm like, I don't know, 30 inches away from him. And I just went, oh, my God. Well, Josh, he's like, oh, do you think he's cute?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I'm like, no. You have to think he's cute. I mean, that is a beautiful human being. And to top all of that off, the height, the muscle tone, the chiseled face, he's French. Dream. So I got my eyes on him all night, right? I'm totally in the tank for the thunder. But I'm watching Rudy Gobert, and at one point he dunks.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I had my, it just kind of had him, you know, he was just on my punch list of things to keep an eye on throughout the game. Thunder Victory and Rudy Gobert, right? Multitasking, walking, chewing gum at the same time. So he does this great dunk and I see, you know, his biceps and I inadvertently kind of.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I'm like, yeah, a little bit. But he was like, you really like that Rudy Gobert. Yeah. Well, the idea that I found Rudy Gobert so attractive turned Josh on. So Josh is grabbing my ass all night. But it was, you know what? It was kind of fun. We've been together 25 years. Little grab ass every now and then in public though. And he goes, mama likes Rudy Gobert. St.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Mama's got the hots for reading. I'm just going over everything about him. And the fact that I know if I were to talk to him, he'd have a French accent. 10 out of 10, no notes. Right. Very attractive human being. And isn't it? isn't that the way it should be in a relationship? Like I think he's hot. Josh is my best friend and my partner. I'm not going to go fuck Rudy Gobert.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I mean, if I had the opportunity, I'd ask permission or maybe I'd ask forgiveness. I don't know. We'll get to that on another podcast. But, and Josh is the same. Like when he sees somebody attractive, we can just talk about it. Right. And, and I just, the whole, the whole, You know, mating for life, which I believe in monogamy. I think it's the healthiest thing for me personally.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Some people have open relationships and I don't think, I think I would, it would trigger bad things in me. Jealousy, envy, if I was in some sort of open relationship. I think gay men are much better at that. Right. Than a woman would be. But it's fun. It's fun to have crushes. And so do you have any little crushes?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They would immediately form a contrast in their mind. Like if I was with a person whose default setting was jealousy and was emotionally immature and I said I was attracted to Rudy Gobert, most white men would immediately think he's seven foot tall. Right. We're talking stallion dick. Oh, horse dick for sure. We're talking like... The size, the scale of this thing would be staggering.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And so a lot of men would probably take issue with that because they would start comparing themselves to Rudy Gobert. In our case, Josh was able to, I mean, I was just like, he was like, do you think he's hot? And I was like, you've got to think he's hot. This is a gorgeous human being. I mean, and we did, Josh and I did kind of have a conversation. I was like, I bet that that... is really large.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But how devastating would it be if you were a, let's just say NBA player, and it's like you're 6'4 or taller. Okay, let's say you're about 6'6, which I would say probably be around an average height in the NBA. Right. And you have a teeny weeny.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yeah. And then that guy would just be, I mean, he'd be in a constant death spiral. He'd know it.
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Make America Hot Again
Senior recognition and awards, senior finals, baccalaureate, senior banquet, graduation rehearsal, graduation, graduation party and lock-in. This, sadly, is just the tip of the iceberg because my son, like yours, plays sports. So then what's not on this list is the basketball banquet, the soccer banquet, the tennis banquet, the events for those.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yeah. Oh, I mean, do you think Rudy Gobert's hot? Fucking A, he's hot. Yes, he's hot. You should have seen. You weren't sitting. You were sitting in the section next to me. But I was just I mean, it was I was looking at the bench because there's like Anthony Edwards and they have really big. They were a big team. And we had really like I could hear their conversations and stuff.
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Make America Hot Again
It was really cool. So I was just all in on watching them. And he just does this like flexing his bicep stretching. And he kept like his arms were like that for like a minute or so. He's done some sort of exercise. And I was just like... What is happening? Do you realize the amount of women that are in this place? Right. Not to mention the gay men that were probably witnessing that as well.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I wish I would have paid attention. Okay. Because tomorrow night I'm going to really be on him in pregame. Pay attention. Look at him at the pregame. Because I firmly believe, listener, just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu. Right. And I think it's perfectly normal to talk about people that we find attractive.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I think sometimes in the over-corrective left, sometimes there's a... A movement to take away these fun things. Talking about if we think guys are hot. Men talking about if they think women are hot. And not, you know, we all know with men it can go really raunchy really fast. But just the attractiveness of people. I think it's a very normal thing to discuss.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It would have been a million times more bizarre had I not noticed it. Yeah. He's seven foot tall, gorgeous, lean, muscular French man with a chiseled face and a little, you know, probably three or four day growth. I'm sure it was groomed to the nines.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I mean, this man is gorgeous. We should all celebrate how attractive he is. Now, I don't know. Maybe he's a piece of shit in his personal life. I don't know. I'm going to do a deep dive on it later tonight with chat GPT. I mean, I don't know. But I mean, in that moment, but I agree with you, Pumps.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I have had these girlfriends that get jealous because their husband or partner finds some celebrity like Giselle. Who doesn't find Giselle attractive. I'll tell you what. I have a story. So I have this girlfriend and her husband is so psychotically jealous. Like she went to a concert, like a rap concert. I think it was Kanye West before Kanye West was a Nazi. Like back when he... Long time ago.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
When he wrote Gold Digger. Right. Okay. Okay. And on her, she was super excited to go. And before she went, her husband like pre-accused her of wanting to fuck Kanye. And they got in this huge fight. Now, here's the situation with that. None of that has anything to do with the wife or the husband. I mean, or Kanye West, who is a Nazi. And I'm not. This was 15 years ago.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But anyway, he was psychotic about it. And I remember her telling me about the story. And I just thought, that's fucking crazy. That'd be like me going to the next Thunder Game and Josh pre-accusing me.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So what about you and your ex-husband? Could you tell him that you thought people were hot? Absolutely.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
That I just think that's a normal, healthy thing. Now there's going to be people on here and say, I think that's disrespectful. And I just think saying that's disrespectful is unrealistic. It's unrealistic that
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
as human beings that have a tendency to lean towards the aesthetic in all things, all things, architecture, art, you know, interiors, literature, film, et cetera, that we wouldn't lean towards when you see other people. And, and I just think it's, I mean, I'm sure I think it's healthy. I mean, I think it's a healthy thing to say.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And so, I mean, it was, I think it excited Josh that I was so smitten with, um, Rudy Gobert. He was like, oh, my lady still gets all turned on. You know, he's grabbing my ass when we'd stand up and the thunder would make, you know, make a dunk or something. He'd pat my ass. I love it. Yeah. So we had a little bit more tight sexual tension between us that night, which made it even more fun.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I myself hosted a really fun party for the boys' tennis team before their state tournament wherein I hired a hibachi guy to do hibachi because I don't know how to cook. But it is so bad that around the 1st of May, I thought, you know, I think I'm really going to have a cry. And, listener, I cry maybe once annually, maybe, maybe once every two years. And I thought I can feel it.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
No, you know, this kind of makes sense because I remember when COVID first started, there was a Thunder game and he, it was Rudy Gobert that tested positive. And then that's when the shutdown happened, right?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Oh my gosh, I should have known this. All right, I'm going to retract my crash and I'm in the market for a hot, another hot Frenchman or Italian. So if you know of any. Let me know. All right. So do you and Ana have like joint crushes or?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They are a beautiful family and they all have an incredible amount of sex appeal. One million percent true. So does Anna lean towards liking older women? Not usually. Usually that's me. Okay. You like an older woman. Okay. Who's number two on everybody's list?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It was a really, really rough patch for pumps to go through that.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It just enraged her. Yeah. But Cate Blanchett also has a sex appeal. Yeah. You know what? The thing about Cate Blanchett is she is such an incredible actress. She just exudes intelligence and confidence, which is inherently sexy. Agree. I mean, yes, she is an incredibly sexy woman. I completely agree with that. Incredibly. And I think, I mean, it depends on, I guess, what people are attracted to.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But if I were a lesbian, I would want, let me think about Kylie's list. Kate Blanchett would probably be, if I were a power lessee, I mean, I would have to go right to the top to like a power lessee. That's why like our friend Renee. She hangs out with all those power lesbians, you know, and they're always doing power lesbian things. And it's just like this. They're all attractive. So sexy.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And they have this like confidence. Okay. Who's your top crush, Jennifer? Okay. Top celebrity crushes. I mean, for a long time, I mean, I always thought. and still do think Barack Obama is incredibly attractive, sexy, all of the things. And no disrespect to his wife. Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu. You know, for me, I'm 5 foot 10 inches tall.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So the height is a huge factor. And many, many celebrities are tiny. And when I've met them in person, I mean, they're barely to my shoulder. And that's just an incredible turnoff for me. No disrespect to any short men. watching the podcast. But as a tall woman, I want to feel... And you like to wear heels. Yeah, I like to wear heels.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And so I want to feel smaller than the person with whom I'm attracted. And maybe that's, you know, a female. But I do. I like a man that's taller than me. But I mean, you know, I think that... I love Roger Federer, Rafa Nadal. As far as actors go, I'll tell you who I'm really liking lately. And I'm afraid he might be short. I don't want to know. But I just I think he's hot as shit.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I can feel it coming up. I'm going to have a good cry. Roman's going to graduate soon. I'm going to cry. I'm going to be happy for him that he's leaving the nest, but I'm also going to be sad at the same time that it's a formal closing to our little family unit that Josh and I created.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Is that Pedro Pascal? Yes. And he is speaking out for gay rights and trans rights in just such an unapologetic way. And I think that's an incredible turn on. It's so sexy.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Oh, my gosh. Favorite girl crush. I'm trying to think of mine. I think there's so many beautiful women in the world. And when I see a beautiful woman, I'm just like, I'll be like, Josh, look at how gorgeous she is. I mean, I think women are the prettier of the two genders. Absolutely.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
You know, I just think when you see a woman that's all pulled together and super self-confident, there's a sexiness about that, a sex appeal about that. But I mean, on the spot, it's hard for me to name.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I mean, I'll circle back. We'll scramble the jets the next episode and we'll report on our. You know what? Here's what we do. We make a non-gender list of people that we're attracted to. And it can be men and women combined. And we'll report back. And Kylie, I want your input. Perhaps I want yours and I'll make mine.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And then our listeners in the comment section can give us yours because we need to normalize finding each other attractive in a respectful way. Agree. You know, we can't. That's just a normal human thing that's fun to do with your girlfriends. And we should do it with our podcast guests because we can't talk about Trump all the time. We're going to go crazy. All right. Listen.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches, written by myself and my much older best friend, who is not bitter at all anymore about my Cate Blanchett days. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. Order it now. Our link is in the bio. In all seriousness, it is a very good, feel-good book.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And Pumps and I get really raw about all of the fuck-ups that led us here to this very moment on this podcast. All right, please subscribe, like, engage in all of our content and engage in other left-leaning media platforms. It's more important than you realize that we build our own silo here that's based in facts and humor and intelligence and pumps tell them.
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We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
After going through these list of activities and the feedback from the parents on those activities and this torturous group me that I'm involved in, I don't even know that I can cry at the graduation other than sit there and think, how long are we going to drag this thing out? It is just too much, too many activities. And these kids, like, what is left for them after this?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
What is left when you have in the month of May 50 obligations and it's your parents are having conversations about a staircase photo? Yeah. Why is that even typed up and even in the eyeballs of a parent? When we were younger, back in our day, that was just something that was internal done in the school. Hey, everybody get at the staircase. We're doing a staircase photo.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I probably never even mentioned it to my mother. Right. Same. The fact that the parents are in on this. Let me tell you what happened one day. That senior slideshow. So we show up for that. It's in the middle of the day, right? Josh and me. I'm telling you, they drug this thing.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It was 45 minutes long of song, you know, like dramatic kind of songs about, you know, ending things and joy and all of this, the time of our lives, that kind of stuff, you know. And we're sitting there looking at these photos going through and there's some parents in there and it's at 115. And I just thought at the end of it.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
i shouldn't be here this is something the kids should be doing during their school day to celebrate themselves the parents should come to the graduation 100 but all of this other stuff is torturous and I love my child, but here's the problem. Even my child doesn't want to go to these events. So last night that was the senior banquet. He is senior down and there was an Oklahoma City Thunder game.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I said, Roman, are you going to the senior banquet? He goes, no, I'm going to the game one of the Western Conference Finals, Mom. I will always remember that. The senior banquet, along with all the other 40 dinners I've been to the last three weeks, I'm not going to remember at all. So even the kids are not wanting to do these activities.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yet the parents are having long conversations about arrival times, departure times, attire. I was going to say attire. Why aren't the kids texting one another to figure out what they wear? Why is a mother figuring out the outfit that her 18-year-old needs to wear while at the same time... This same generation of mothers and fathers say of these kids are worthless. Right.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But then it gives these poor kids like the burden of being responsible for their parents' sadness. Right. At a time where their parents should be like, I'm so going to miss you, but this is your next step. Go spread your wings, fly. The amount of independence you're going to enjoy is so fun. But then these kids have this burden that they're leaving their parents in shatters.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I just think as a – nation in Trump's America, we need to discuss this. This is psychotic. The stuff that I just read to you, that is psychotic. That is not normal. That is an unsustainable level of celebration. Absolutely. It is ridiculous. They should graduate from high school. Now, if the students themselves want to do a bunch of these activities, they need to plan them.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They need to have their own group meet. They need to figure out what to wear. They need to figure out what time to show up. They need to figure out how they're going to get there and how they're going to get home if they can't drive, etc. The parent involvement is a nightmare. Every administrator will concur with what I'm saying. Every school teacher will concur with what I'm saying.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And then you have the current administration, especially like in our state, you say parents need to control their kids' education. No, they don't. If you want to control your kids' education, homeschool them and do your senior set, sunrise, staircase photo, circle jerk at your house. Right.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But dragging us all through this when you yourself want to be ass deep in at the high school is weird as shit and it's psychotic. It is totally psychotic. And I have these candid conversations with my kids about it. I'm like, this is out of control. And I'll do a dramatic reading from the group me. And both of my kids are like, oh, God, those kind of moms. They know it.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They know how annoying and obnoxious it is. And nobody talks anybody off the ledge. So I was so elated when it was game seven of the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Denver Nuggets. And I said to my son, the basketball game starts at 2.30, but your baccalaureate is at 4 p.m. He goes, well, what's a baccalaureate?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I go, I think it's like a graduation thing that is at a church, like a church graduation. He goes, we're not religious. We never go to church. So why would I go to that? I'm going to game seven. So I couldn't wait to go into the group me. And I wrote, I don't know who I need to report this to. But the Welches are rolling the baccalaureate because we are going to game seven.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I got about two likes on it, on that comment, right? I'm sure there was a shit ton of side texting.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yeah, because there's a set of Bible moms up there. Even though my kid's school is secular, there's kind of a group of Bible moms. So I'm sure they were just wound up like cheap clocks. But then something magical happened. About five or six other moms side texted me that had my phone number. I'm so glad you put that in there because we wanted to go to the game as well.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And I'm like, then go to the game. The kids don't want to go to this. It's boring. It's awful. It's too much. We've already been to 95,000 celebrations and we're not even to graduation date yet. Right. So, yeah. So we missed out on the baccalaureate, have zero regrets because game seven was such a blast. So we'll remember that forever.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Baccalaureate snooze fest made a great decision for our family, prioritizing sports over the church. Yeah. which I think could help a lot of Americans. And then Roman himself did not even go to yet another banquet because he's like, Mom, I've been to like seven banquets already when you tack in the sports stuff. So I've had it. We need to quit celebrating people.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Parents, don't do for your kids what they can do for themselves, buying prom tickets, deciding what they're going to wear, what the attire is. That's on them. If they show up to an event underdressed, that is a life lesson, definitely. Been there, done that. That is a life lesson that they learn. They show up in shorts and a t-shirt and everybody else has on khakis and a polo shirt.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Then they learn, oh shit, I should have texted my friend. These are the lessons these kids need to learn. And so when you read these reports that Gen Z is depressed and anxious and all of these things, It's the parents' fault and the school for enabling the parents to have this much involvement.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And Donald Trump and all of these right-wing MAGA politicians for expanding, they say that they're for limited stuff, for making parents this unhinged all the time. They feed this toxic narrative and we're not raising independent, autonomous citizens. Well, that's how they want it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
That is a wonderful review. And I do think that is proof positive that there is no God, because if there was, we would have gay sons. Yes. Just like that. That writes such effusive, sweet, darling messages to us who just thought we were just, you know, the cat's meow.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Yeah. I will say Dylan Welch, my older child, he does – he tells me he hits up IHIP News from time to time. Well, I mean, that's huge. Roman, no. He doesn't watch any of it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And it ends up these poor gay kids are born into these like, you know, total Bible thumper. And here you are. Drag them to, you know, these camps where they're told it's a cell, you know, it's a sin and all this crap. I would have just been like, That's perfect. That's great. Don't you worry one bit, honey. Right. If anybody bullies you, you let me know. Go kick their ass.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'll be the head cheerleader at the Pride Parade. Absolutely. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Some people on my list are so incredibly difficult to buy for. And so I always try to find something that corners them when they open it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
They're like, I have to say, this is a pretty unique, amazing gift. I'm able to find this aha gift at Uncommon Goods.
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Not Thankful for Phil
Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade in the United States. They have the most meaningful out of the ordinary gifts everywhere. They even have gifts you can personalize from holiday host and hostess gifts to the coolest finds for kids to hits for everyone from book lovers to diehard sports fans. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone.
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Not Thankful for Phil
Listener, to get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash had it. That's uncommongoods.com slash had it for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods, we're all out of the ordinary. You know, Pumps, we just celebrated the two-year anniversary of our podcast. And I've been thinking we should get something very memorable, something we can always remember.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And I've discovered Blue Nile Jewelry. Have you seen this? They have the most amazing pieces.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
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I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
BlueNile.com. Let's move along. We have some reports from the neighborhood apps. It's one of my favorites. Okay. Somebody posts, my friend and I were walking through Washington Park when I spotted a man with a pair of tight gray biking shorts jogging. I don't know why my eyes look directly at his crotch.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
But this man in his tight gray biker shorts had the biggest penis I have ever seen in my life. I was in complete disbelief. I was tickled, but also in shock. He was really big. LOL. When did you post this? Did she post this on her Instagram? Angela Dawn. Yes, when I was in Washington Park. We were just in Washington Park last weekend. We went to dinner in the West Village.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Hang on. I've got to get it out. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone except Phil. Every one of you except Phil are wonderful neighbors. I'm happy to be a part of this community. Fuck you, Phil. Nobody has gratitude for you, asshole. Which begs the question, we need more contacts. What did Phil do? That's all I need. That's all I need. I want less information about Phil. Except Phil. Okay.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'll tell you what I'm thankful for, Brooke. I'm thankful that my kids aren't on crystal meth. Right. And I'm thankful that you're kind of a cunt and we both know it. Right. I'm glad that's out in the open right now.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
We have another poster on the Nextdoor app that says... Please get your dogs circumcised. Every dog I've seen lately is it. And I want them all to go to heaven. Wow. All right. Wow. How post pooping sounds on South 42nd Avenue. Did anyone hear these noises? Can anyone identify these noises? And he wrote pooping sounds, which obviously meant popping.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
All right. Another poster here says, Why are all of these cars parked at the entrance to our neighborhood? Apparently, it is some kind of walk your kid to school day, and our neighborhood is closest to the school. These folks drove to our neighborhood, parked their cars, and walked three more blocks to the school, pretending they walked the whole way. Great message to send to your kids.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Shakes my head. Why not just thumb your nose at the whole thing and drive your car right up to the school and walk your kid to school day? And they added a photograph.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
All right. That must be Phil. All right. Here's another poster. Well, this isn't fun. To whoever had a poop emergency Halloween night behind my recycle bin in the driveway, shame on you. I know you had a towel with you. You left it for me. You could have put it on the ground to catch some of your three deposits.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
You could have done many things, but you chose to walk away leaving the poop towel and some dirty napkins for me. Then John posts, I'd like to report a crime. I'm seeing houses with Christmas lights up and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. Every comedian's on next door. Here's one. I'm a widow with two grown sons who choose not to have children.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
So I will never have grandchildren and I long for them. I'm wondering if there is anyone on Nextdoor who has children, but the children have no grandparents. Perhaps they have passed away or live in another country or are estranged. I would love to find a child or children to grandmother. I knit, I sing, I know gobs of stories, and oh, I would make a wonderful grandma.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
No, I'm just saying. Is that where your brain went? You just have to be so careful. You know, that's Trump's America right there. That's what happens. He starts appointing all these sex offenders. Now Meemaw's labeling these grandmas on Nextdoor.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Listener, you might not know this because I think this is on Patreon. Pumps revealed... In a Patreon session that when she was a young mother, she adopted a feed the child in Africa. And God only knows where that kid is now because I'll tell you who doesn't know. Me. Yeah. OK, next door. Hi, my name is Tony. I'm a 68 year old retired man with limited abilities.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'm looking for a female that would like a furnished room and full use of my home in exchange for cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping and contributing a little for food. If interested, call me. Tony. Now, here's what I can say about Tony. Here's where I'm going to give you. I think he might. How do we think he's going to stop there and not ask for the slap and tickle?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
What would she have done if I would have said that? I'll tell you what, listener. It had been a while. It had been a while since pumps started letting that pent up sexual tension out for the listener to hear. And I'm glad you brought it back. It's a holiday. And you really brought it back. Pardon the puns. That was pun intended. Yeah. Pun intended. All right.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Do you want his number? No, I do not. Thank you so much for asking. All right. Here's another post. After more than 40 years, should a church lower their standards and start offering different levels of membership? Should a church have a top tier membership for members who say they won't drink alcohol and a lower tier membership for the members who still want to be able to drink alcohol?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
OK, into this, I have to say, shut the fuck up. I mean, are you serious now? If you want to drink alcohol, drink alcohol. If you do or don't, everybody basing everything on what the church will think. Go get a fucking life. Go live your life. Go live your life and shut the fuck up. All right. Another next door app. And it says holiday greeting etiquette. That's the subject.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Holiday greeting etiquette. I just want everyone to know that it is okay to wish us happy Honda days, even though we are a Toyotathon family. You don't have to use the generic happy winter car sale greeting. I don't even know who that is and I hate her. I mean, just enough. Just, you know, here's the deal.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I remember when Trump was president, the first go round every December, he would just get out and go, I brought back Merry Christmas. Everybody can say Merry Christmas again. And it's like, look. Everybody says Merry Christmas. Even my friends that are Jewish go out of their way to say to people Merry Christmas. I am an atheist, and I say Merry Christmas and put up two Christmas trees.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
You had nothing to do with it. New York City, all of these big cities that everybody say, oh, these are liberal, woke cities. Guess what happens in December? Fucking Christmas tree, happy birthday, Jesus, all over the place.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
These... G word, darn woke liberals driving up the gas prices. Kroger's gas station on Hurstbourne is $3.21 a gallon. I remember when gasoline was 30 cents. Gasoline is spelled G-A-S-A-L-E-E-N. And so then somebody comments, A simple Google search explains what controls the price of gas, and it has nothing to do with, quote, woke liberals.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And then the original poster posts back to that person and says, Google is liberals. And then the other person types back to the person that misspelled gasoline and says, Google is a search engine, not a person. Yeah. Then somebody else chimes in. Google is not an engine. It is in the computer. I would know if my computer had an engine. It does not take gas. Uh-uh. Yes, read it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Okay. This time of year, I grab weeds while I'm walking my dog and weave them into little wreaths that I leave around the neighborhood, specifically because there is a woman on next door who is furious because she thinks they are signs of witchcraft. I encourage you to do the same. Fucking love her. Profile and courage. Love her right there. You know what I have gratitude for? Her.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Her little witchcraft wreaths. That's trolling some old crazy lady.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
When a witch puts her mind to anything... with the power and sorcery of witchcraft. That's true. You might be surprised at your superhuman ability to weave a witchy wreath. Maybe I could. Yeah. All right, pumps, joking around is our whole thing. But there's one thing that I do not joke around about. And that is the comfort in which my feet and my little piggies reside when I'm at work.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
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I've Had It
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I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And I... I am going to start putting up my Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving just for spite. What about before Halloween? I'm going to start delivering my Christmas tree and getting everything all done before Thanksgiving because I want to slight Thanksgiving as much as I can. There's multiple reasons why I dislike it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash had it code had it at checkout. Pops, I cannot tell you what a game changer Shopify has been for our podcast, for our merch, for all of our billing and bookkeeping needs. Shopify is just like next level.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And you know, all the cool kids use Shopify like us. skims, et cetera. Listener, upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Shopify is the home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boost conversions up to 50%. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash had it all lowercase.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Go to shopify.com slash had it to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash had it. All right. Okay. Somebody posts, assaulted at Aldi, 106th and Michigan Road. An Aldi employee was stocking a shelf at the same time I was selecting a product. Assault cap locks occurred when a cart was brutally rammed into my hip by a customer.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
A mother with two children was at fault and she commented, boys will be boys. Will that be your excuse when this child commits rape or murder? Yes. The Aldi employee was stocking the shelf, asked if I needed help. Yes, I'm a senior with osteoporosis. However, the Aldi employee disappeared. I described the assault to the manager.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Unfortunately, the Aldi manager's response completely disregarded the injury I received from the assault.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
The lady that's making these witchcraft wreaths needs to find this lady. That Aldi. That Aldi. And she needs to make more and give them to this lady. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
This is the answer. Witchcraft. I don't know much about it, but I'm in.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Okay. I'm 79 years old and a widower, and I like cunnilingus. And then somebody responds and says, that's a lot of information. Maybe too much for next door. Do you want his number? You want to keep this? No, I'm good. You're sure? Okay. Okay. And then somebody posts, please keep us in mind this holiday season. Is this a flyer, Kylie? It's a flyer.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It's a flyer. Somebody post on next door. And there's a picture of a woman with curly hair and a straw hat. And she writes, I buy leftover gravy. I will buy brown gravy, cream gravy, sawmill gravy, country gravy, white gravy, milk gravy, sausage gravy, egg gravy, giblet gravy, mushroom gravy. What? Contact me on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day and I will add you to my schedule.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Number one, everybody tries to trot out one day a year this bullshit gratitude that they have. And it is such performative bullshit. You're sitting there with your family. And you know a couple of them are complete assholes. They've always been complete assholes. They will forever be complete assholes. And everybody says, let's go around the table and everybody share what they're grateful for.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I will arrive on time with my own containers. Online at up to, and she has her email address, up to $1.25 an ounce. I'm your gravy lady. I do not buy onion gravy, potato gravy, ginger gravy, lemongrass gravy, lima bean gravy, jelly gravy, or talcum gravy.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Pumps, what do you think? I think she's a witch. Here's her picture. Do you think she's a... And she has her picture on it? Well, yes. I mean, to me... Okay, let's go down your dirty thought track here. You think she's like... Here's your dirty thought track. She puts her picture there. It looks a little suggestive, wouldn't you say? We'll put this up on YouTube. Yeah, totally unnecessary.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It looks a little suggestive, right? Like, look at that smile, right? So maybe this is coded language for... She likes to swallow.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Okay. Next up, it's a post saying, I'm wondering how our last DoorDash deliver person found it appropriate or acceptable to send us an emoji that looks like this. And it's an emoji with, is that a hair? Oh, a salute. It's a hand salute emoji. Now, granted, I could be wrong, but does that look like a penis on that forehead or not? Garrett, our dasher we're referring to, says it is a salute.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It sure looks more like a penis than a salute to us. I just wanted to know if I'm the only one on the planet that can tell that is a penis on its forehead, a.k.a. dickhead emoji. We found it very disturbing and requested our tip be removed. Has anyone else experienced such rude and inappropriate conduct from their dashers or specifically one named Garrett?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
My partner also noticed a strong smell of alcohol when he was in close proximity to him. And I will just put this to rest right now. Let me ask our penile expert. Right, let me get my glasses. Angela Dawn. Here is the emoji in question. Does that look like a penis or a salute? A salute. What an asshole. They took their tip back.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Then it doesn't. That's right. It's genuinely not a dick. No. Okay, here's a couple more. I've heard about early voting, but what about late voting? For example, say you don't want to waste your time voting, but then you find out someone you don't like ends up winning. Maybe if you haven't voted yet, you should be able to cast a vote. Maybe just up to a few days later. What do y'all think?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
OK, the next one is anyone in Summers Point New Road area seen the 60 something year old white guy just walking in front of cars by Groveland Light?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
with his ass hanging out like seriously low carpenter's crack i saw him at dollar general with all of it hanging out i was happy there were no kids around then somebody responds we are doomed somebody else responds oh my god and somebody else responds see something say something report to police And then somebody responds, right, isn't that like public indecency?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And what I want to say is put a sock in it. Let's quit with this bullshit. Second thing that irritates me about Thanksgiving is when we were little kids, little American kids that did the Pledge of Allegiance every morning dutifully. We were told that Thanksgiving is a wonderful time where the pilgrims and the Indians decided to sit down together and break bread and share a meal.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And then somebody else responds, he might have Alzheimer's or dementia.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Let me ask you this. If you were to list your top three days you've ever lived in your life, is that number one, two or three? It's not even in the top three. Really? Interesting. Interesting considering how much... I had a lot more to be thankful for than that. Did you have any gratitude for that? No, I thought it was pretty funny.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
You know what I'm going to... What's interesting about that is I remember you telling me about it, just how excited you were about it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Let me ask you this. Is that the last time you've seen a penis? Yes. i mean i'd have to be yeah some rando in the car next to me some flasher some flasher some creepy flasher some two-bit flasher that's the last penis you said i wonder you were so damn excited about it huh all right well happy thanksgiving everyone happy thanksgiving and um
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Listen to our IHIP news as we try to cover the incoming second Reich of the Trump administration over on IHIP news. And subscribe on YouTube. Join us on Patreon and Pumps Tell Them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
We have gratitude for that because we're so nice and we're so good and blah, blah, blah. I mean, like from kindergarten on. Yes. And then you start studying it. And you find out it was this bloody massacre. Right. And this horrific shit show of colonialism. And, you know, I'm not one of these people I have to run around, you know, that happened long before I was ever thought of or whatever.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
But let's not whitewash it and come up with this, you know, patty cake fest a month before Christmas. Another thing I don't like about it is this. Why are we doing these back-to-back things? I agree. You do Thanksgiving, and you're just about to come up for air, and then you have to turn around and do it again for Christmas.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I've had it from top to bottom, left to right, up to my eyeballs with Thanksgiving. But I'll tell you what, out of everything that I listed, I want to circle back to that lady asking you that because that's really sitting in my craw. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Do you think it's possible that maybe she's like a Trumper that's super excited about his victory and just was kind of trolling you? Because I could kind of respect that a little bit.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Thrown my shit out of my cart, stomped off. So the other day I was playing pickleball with my friends. And our friend, Amy, there's a court like next to us. And there's these guys, four guys playing doubles pickleball. She looked over at me and she's like, I just have this sick feeling in my gut. I'm just looking over at them and I just know. I know they all voted for Trump. I can feel it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I think we should. One of William in our Patreon said he wants to start calling me Blessica.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And it makes me sick. And I go, I feel the same way. She's like, I'm not over it yet. And Liz chimes in, I'm not over it yet either. And we're all just like, we're not over it. Yeah. And so like, there's this thing where, you know, when you go out, I look at people, I'm like, are they one of them? Or are they? Are they? Because I'm not thankful for them.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It suits you so much. Especially on a day of gratitude. Right. Where I feel very blessed and we had such a positive, you know, therapeutic intro that I know leaves our listener feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. Right. Eager to go carb turkeys with their family. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
and share their gratitude list with one another while passing, you know, sides of mashed potatoes and green beans and turkey around the table. Yes. What? What's your name?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
You know, I'm just going to say it. I just don't think people give lesbians enough credit. We do on this podcast. We do on this podcast. You know what you should have told that lady when she said, were you grateful for this Thanksgiving? You should say, I'll tell you what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for lesbians. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
At your family dinner. Yes, I absolutely should. With your evangelical parents, when they get around the table, you should say, well, that's funny. Y'all should ask mom and dad. I'm really grateful for lesbians.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Yeah. Okay. What's going on on the internet and our reviews and all of the things?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I wonder why. All we do is give and give. Positivity, sunshines, rainbows, cupcakes, unicorns. We're like a goddamn podcast of lucky charms and we can't even get to 12,000 reviews. Fucking assholes. We should quit.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Let me let everybody know something that's super important for every person to know about. For the last 20 years, she and I have gotten the fuck out of America for Thanksgiving. Right, for a week. And we would fly to Mexico and eat tacos on the beach. With our kids and our dogs and our swimsuits with reckless abandon and never felt any need to do anything Thanksgiving-ish. Right.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
This year, we are unable to attend because my youngest son, whom I love more than anything on the planet, Roman, is playing varsity basketball. And they've decided that they're going to have a scrimmage.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
day before Thanksgiving and a practice the Sunday after. So I am a basketball hostage.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And nobody is able to go and nobody is able to do this. So the bitterness that I feel regarding this is overwhelming. It's exacerbated by that woman who accosted Pops and asked her a very threatening question. Very. I feel the need to protect her. I feel the need to fight back.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And so I haven't had to deal with this Friendsgiving bullshit because I canceled Thanksgiving 20 years ago before it was cool to do it. We were trailblazers.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It was just us eating tacos on the beach. Right. But I mean, you could technically call that a Friendsgiving. Which could be any meal, anytime, anywhere that doesn't have to be labeled, doesn't have to be dramatic.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
in just having dinner at a friend's house or going out to dinner is that everybody has to bring a dish is that the difference because technically you guys could get together i'll tell you the difference okay it is a piggyback situation they're piggybacking on thanksgiving and already crowding a very crowded weekend with something that could be done in march or april Any day of the week. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
These are opportunist piggybackers is what this is. Friendsgiving is it's an original. It sounds cute, neat and fun. Do you find it Friendsgiving? No. Do you dread going?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
That is a thing. This is a thing that we have to backpedal on because a lot of people have shitty parents that aren't supportive of their gay children. And so then they have a Friendsgiving so that they feel love and respect. And even...
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Happy Thanksgiving to America and beyond. There's so much to be grateful for. We are a show full of nothing. But gratitude, absolutely. For our fellow Americans, I feel so much unity and pride heading into this Thanksgiving. I think I might flow over with how much pride and joy I feel.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'll tell you what I don't like. Forced meals. And Thanksgiving is a forced meal. meal. There's nothing organic about it. Like I kind of even get to the phase, like if people ask Josh and me if we want to go to dinner. Initially, I'm like, yeah, sure, that sounds fine. And then as we start clicking close to that, I'm like, why do people have to go eat together?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Why can't we just do that on our own? Like, why is that a thing? Well, it has been for like fucking, you know, tens of thousands of years. I'm the asshole bucking the system. But I don't know. I've just gotten increasingly intolerant.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I think, what are you thankful for? Like, Shut up. Shut up. What I'm thankful for is that I haven't run into you in decades. And I literally don't remember your name. That's what I have gratitude for. And what I'm looking forward to is this being our last meeting. And that would cause me to have immense gratitude.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'm going to dinner tonight with my pickleball friends at five 15 after our pickleball match. I just wanted you and the listener and Kylie to know that. That's pushing it. I mean, that's okay. All right. Let's, let's, let's push through.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Completely. And it's just such a – I see why Gen Z is always so risk adverse and always, like, terrified to do things. Because every time you get on the Internet, you're seeing this perfectly curated version of somebody who's living a parallel life from you. And this mother is doing all of this, you know –
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
overly decorating the room and exploding confetti, you know for sure they had gender reveal parties. That's where it started.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I bet they have a bunch of Stanley Cups too. Yeah. But then think about the majority of kids, like maybe their parents can't afford to send them to college or they don't want to take on student loans and they're going to maybe a vo-tech school or maybe they're taking a gap year. Maybe they're just immediately going to work or I don't know. I just think that we are just constantly –
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I would draw a boundary and just not go to dinner with them anymore.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
highlighting this path that somebody somewhere wrote that this has to be the only American path that everybody has to go down. And then I just think there's a lot of emptiness behind all of that.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
inefficient ineffective and stupid to me yeah all right we've got that figured out i think this is stupid the college kid thing the whole thing's okay listener today we have a big day this is um we have a great guest i mean like a really really really good guest when we first started the podcast a couple of years ago we made a list of guests that we would like to have
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And this guest was near the top of it, as was Barack Obama, which we died laughing when we put him on the list because we knew that we would never, ever, ever interview Barack Obama. Much to our surprise. It's a shock. It's a shock to us mostly. We interviewed Barack Obama before we interviewed this person. That's right. Yeah. And so, but we love her.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
She is smart, fights the good fight, great liberal. Let's welcome to I've Had It. She's comedian, television host, six-time New York Times bestselling author and advocate, Chelsea Handler. Listener, do you want the fastest working GLP-1 for half the list price? Roe's got you. And our very own Pumps has had incredible success with Roe. Pumps, tell our listeners all about it.
I've Had It
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I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
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I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
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I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
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I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Again, it depends on who I'm with. Like if I'm with you and Josh and, you know, like Vanessa or Liz, I would look at all of you and be like, I'm going to go ahead and start. I am starving. But if it's like we're at dinner in New York with people we don't know very well that we're doing business with, I'm going to sit and I'm going to be polite.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
All right, let's welcome to Asshole Island, Chelsea Handler. Chelsea, how are you?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Exactly. This is a place where we can all come to celebrate petty grievances and be the counter-programming to toxic positivity, self-help, all the stuff, because it's just exhausting. It's exhausting being on the internet right now. It's exhausting.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Right. When we emailed with you prior, you mentioned something about having it with dog parks.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I want to get back. So you adopted Doug, but you went to view him first. Was this clandestinely viewing? Were you watching him play with somebody else before you decided to get him?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
So, you know, we have really attractive dogs, too. And I think very photogenic dogs, great personalities, very congenial, very attractive. And it's great around the house when you have a really attractive dog. But I find it really annoying in public because then your dog's so attractive, it invites conversations that you really don't want to participate in.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Go ahead and start. That's the worst because I immediately, number one, I've had it with kitchens not delivering food all at the same time because it puts us all in a very precarious position. But I'm always, if my meal is the delayed meal, I immediately say, please go ahead and eat. Do not wait on me. Same. Totally. Yeah. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with belts.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Right. You know, it says these are interactions where people don't take into account the feelings of the listener. And I find myself in this situation all the time where somebody is just sharing. a lot of information, a lot of detail about their life. And as they're expressing this, I think, are they not thinking about my feelings?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Are you not taking into account the feelings of the listener about how breathtakingly boring this conversation is?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
So there are these rumors, these pictures of you with a very distinguished, handsome British.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
The British, Ralph Fiennes, Fiennes. I don't know how you say his name.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I think he's, I think he's pretty hot. I do too. Yeah.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I like the accent, you know, we, we live in Oklahoma city, so we're very easily impressed by accents, you know, it's like, Oh my gosh, because everybody here just has a Southern accent. And so it's always so impressive for us.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I want you to hear me out on this. So as a woman, you have high-waisted pants, mid-waisted pants, and then low-waisted pants that are around your hip. And if I'm wearing high-waisted pants and I bought the belt that I want to put on with the high-waisted pants, when I tried it on the store, I tried it on with the low-waisted pants. it doesn't quite fit. Right. It's different. And vice versa.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
It's true. It's true. I mean, it's a really big, it's kind of neck to neck, Jesus and Trump. I mean, they're kind of in a neck to neck race.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Well, you know, the breed of Christianity in the Bible Belt is different. In the Bible Belt, these people are primed to support Donald Trump. You have these really horrible architecture built churches where the whole idea is to grift. They accept Venmo. The pastor is a liar, a con man. And it is a total it's basically just like Trumpism. There's a cruelty to it.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
There is other rising people demonizing trans people, demonizing gay people. And most importantly, the worship of capitalism in these churches. And so for me, because I'm an atheist and was raised by atheists in the buckle of the Bible belt. So for me, when I see the jump from people go from being evangelicals to Trump supporters, to me, it makes perfect sense.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
The through line is just right there. Pumps was raised evangelical and has deconstructed her faith. And yeah, yeah.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Totally. Okay, Chelsea, we're going to play a game with you called Hat It or Hit It. Okay. Oh, my God. Welcome to Hat It or Hit It. I would hit it. Hat it. Hat it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it psychedelics.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I love that. You know, my husband is a recovering opioid addict and he, He had taken SSRIs for years and didn't really have a lot of success. And I know some people have great success on antidepressants, but he really didn't. So he started doing ketamine therapy through a medical doctor. It's legal in Oklahoma, if you can believe it. But he goes to the doctor.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And so was weed. Anyway, intravenously, like once a month, and it completely transformed the way he organized his trauma in his brain. And he, it has been so helpful for him in maintaining his sobriety. And at first when he came home and he was like, I think I need to do psychedelics. I'm like, fuck you, motherfucker.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I've been to five family weeks and you're coming home and telling me you want to take drugs to treat your drug addiction. Fuck you. And then I'm watching Anderson Cooper one night on 60 Minutes. And he's like, John Hopkins University is talking about micro dosing psilocybin. And I'm like, Oh, fuck, I'm gonna have to go say sorry. So I walk up to Josh. And I'm like, Hey, I'm really, really sorry.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
But I think you're right about this. Anyway, so he started doing this and quit taking SSRIs and it has been a complete game changer in him sustaining his sobriety and finding serenity and happiness. So I'm a huge believer in this, in this microdosing.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I feel like you just can't find a belt if you're a woman that always fits with whatever size your waist is, the pants are aligning on your waist. And I have this constant problem like this belt I have on today. I really need a size smaller because I have on high-waisted jeans. But if I wear this belt with kind of some low riders, kind of some hip riders, fits perfectly.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I agree. I agree. In person. Okay. Had it or hit it Canada.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Well, I think that we have a situation where Donald Trump is completely compromised by Vladimir Putin and has hired Elon Musk to be Donald Trump's full-time nanny. And Republicans during the election like to ask the question, are you better off today than you were four years ago? Completely forgetting that we were all like locked up from COVID and millions of people were dying.
I've Had It
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But I think we have to start asking the question now, are you better off today than you were on January 19th? Like think about the complete historic realignment that is happening. 80 years of peacemaking and democracy building that we've done is being flushed down the toilet because Donald Trump is compromised by a weak thug dictator, Putin. And it's just, it's so maddening.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I mean, we have another podcast where we talk about politics all the time and it's like completely beating me down because I want to pull my hair out by the root. It's so frustrating that half the country is so goddamn dumb.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Okay. Here's a nuance of this. You go to somebody's Instagram page and at the top, it says like,
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
live laugh love jesus is my homeboy and has a sunflower and a cross right and then it's full of inspirational quotes but on yours they've written you know chelsea you are a demon crat transgender lover can't wait for you to burn in hell but her whole instagram the whole facade is this inspirational quote thing we here on asshole island believe that when you see people that traffic
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
in inspirational quotes, particularly in a performative manner online, that it is a red flag, much the same way when couples that live together have conversations in the comment section online, also a red flag.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I've had it. I'm up to my eyeballs with this belt situation because – I have all of these different waisted pants. And then the belts, I like to mix and match every single day, you know, a different belt. And like this belt I have on right now, I literally want to take it and just throw it out the car when I'm driving down the street because it doesn't work with these pants. It drives me crazy.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Chelsea, I've won a tournament in pickleball. Most recent tournament, I was a semi-finalist, which means hashtag almost a winner.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You know, it's so funny about, I used to just, I hated him and I had so much focus for eight years, a very concentrated myopic hate onto him. And then, you know, we got Obama and it was, you know, hope and change. Everybody's great. And then you get Trump again. And then during Trump's first term, W comes back out and he's painting portraits of immigrants. And I remember this moment that,
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And then if I go get another hole in it, then this end of it is going to be curled around to the small of my back. It's too waggy. And I don't know what's going on with the belt industry, but there seems to be no regulation, especially in Trump's America. I've noticed this more and more.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I go, oh, George W. Bush, how sweet is that? It's like it all just dissipated. All of this focus of me like literally grinding up Jon Stewart every night from the buckle of the Bible belt, snorting it, anything I could do to just dislike Donald Trump. I mean, not Donald Trump, him. That's where I am right now. But George W. Bush.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And then they get out of office and they don't have that power anymore and they don't have that. They don't occupy as much real estate in your brain anymore. Don't get me wrong. I still think he's a war criminal, not the best president. But I think I could probably go play pickleball with him.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Right. Totally. OK, last one. Had it or hit it. The United States of America.
I've Had It
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It's a very good answer. And I hope that you're right about the 340 million people and not able to hoodwink us and make this an autocracy. All right, Chelsea, tell us, you dropped little nuggets about your Netflix comedy special, which I can't wait for. And then we have... We have your book. It's great. All your books are really good. To show to our viewer, our YouTube viewer.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I'm so glad we did, too. And we have a mutual friend, Renee Stubbs, who I've really had it with because when Trump was inaugurated, I follow her on Instagram. She's like at the Australian Open and then she's on the beach and then she's with all these hot power lesbians with, you know, floating on tubes and she's doing all this fun stuff.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I've had it. I've had it with the belts. Welcome to I've had it. We are America's top DEI podcast broadcasting from the buckle of the Bible belt, although neither of us are religious at all. We're both wildly progressive and getting more so by the day.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And I would just I would just reply like this is insufferable. I can't watch you having fun for one more second and one more day. But how great is Renee?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
She's the best. She'll love this. She will love this mention of her in the closing of this episode. Chelsea, thank you so much for coming on our show. When we started our podcast two years ago, we made a list of dream guests and you were like probably top five. Barack Obama was there and we thought, well, we'll never get Barack Obama. We got Barack Obama before we got you.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Touche. All right. Thanks, Chelsea. Tell Renee. Hi. Thanks. Happy birthday. On all your success. Thank you. Happy birthday. Bye. Thank you. Chelsea.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
No, she's great. And she's so pretty. So pretty. Yeah. Yeah. She's really, I really like her. I think, I think we're, you know, doing big things here on Asshole Island. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, listen, here's the deal. We have another podcast, IHIP News, drops twice daily. Please go subscribe to that podcast. And remember that Pumps is America's top DEI podcaster. DEI hire. DEI hire. Yeah.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah. And I think we have Merge and we have a bunch of other shit. Just pumps tell them.
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm caca that's it that's that's caca that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You know what would be great? The real legal eagle. I wish he'd sue you for us kind of using the name legal eagle, just for a distraction. Just for a little entertainment value? Yeah.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Everything about it is a pain. I know it is. I need something to take my eye off the ball of the Russian billionaire power grab on the United States of America.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Just because I like the ability to like maybe I want a certain size on the bottom and a different size on the top. Also, I do think it's kind of fun if it's a bikini. and it's a solid color, doing like a little mix, like two different shades of pink, kind of an ombre bikini. And you can customize it yourself that way or two different shades of blue.
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And you're doing like a darker blue on the bottom and then kind of an aqua on the top. And so I like having that type of control, purchasing power, purchasing control in this late stage capitalism that we're in.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Um, this is why I don't go to dinner with people. Um, it depends on the, the people. Like I would, if somebody asked me to go to dinner and they were 15 to 20 minutes late, I would wait for all of us to order together. See, not me.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
See, that's great. This is one of the more beautiful things about life. That someone can be... at your advanced age and you're still learning and open to learning and learning new P-tricks. Yeah, it was great. Take the crotch, slide it over, hike the leg, let her rip, Put it back. Jump in the ocean. Yeah. Never knew that until this. Kylie, what about you?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
This is why I think you would be a great candidate for one of these nude resorts. I do. Please, let's not go back there. I just, I don't know. I just think it could be kind of fun for you. Why not? Running around. It'd be airy. I think you could go. The podcast could pay for it.
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
And it could be a content creation trip where you're going, you have notes, and you're getting a lot of information to bring back to Asshole Island to help us get through Trump's America. You go... underground to the nudist resort, participate in all the activities.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I mean, if they're having bubble bath time in the hot tub, I want you and those second dragons over there motorboating like nobody's business.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
But why... I mean, you used to answer your front door naked. Why all of a sudden you have an aversion?
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
flit around naked at a nudist resort so here's a here's something we need to find out at the nudist resort can you wear panties like we just need to email one of these resorts the concierge desk so we have a candidate that we think might want to come To the all-inclusive nude resort. But she's a little bit modest. Can she wear panties? Because you'd let the dragons just go, right?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah. Yeah. For those of you that are new listeners, one of Pump's tricks, tell them, Pump.
I've Had It
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Okay, Kylie, what's going on on the internet regarding our podcast?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Okay. Here's what I have to say. Some people are super cute with bangs. Great with bangs. Some people, they have these bangs and I'm like, oh my God, your bangs are so cute. Now I will say on the Yassified version of you, I thought you looked pretty cute. I mean, MAGA cute, but I mean, I do.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, I just, I mean, I wouldn't like it. Tardiness is something that really bothers me. But in the interest of being polite, I would wait for that person to arrive before I order. Now, I might order an appetizer and say, oh, we ordered an appetizer while we were waiting. But I would not order my entree if it was a set meal that we were all taking time out of our lives to have together.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I love that. Thank you for that message, because I want our listeners to know that, you know, we have this podcast where it's more fun and we do this twice a week. But we also have IHIP News, which is political hits twice a day, 15 to 20 minute episodes. And we have to stay abreast of the news all the time so we know what the hell we're talking about. And it's taken a toll.
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Caw-caw, caw-caw. And everybody that wants to be a member of Asshole Island, we have some space. We are organizing to try to stay sane through all of this fuckery.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
It really is. What they're doing is exhausting. But anyway, I have some news stories, non-Trump related, that I'm going to share with everybody today. The first one is a new study finds that friends who often playfully insult each other often are 300% more honest and loyal. Research shows that we should all absolutely relentlessly roast our friends.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Contrary to popular belief, psychologists believe that friends who grill each other with frequent, good-natured jokes might have stronger friendships after all. In fact, one study suggested that those who playfully insult each other, as long as it's in jest, of course, are actually 300% more loyal and honest. Have I told you how much older you are than me lately? Fuck off.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
We always razz each other. All the time. If I get some sort of like bad comment on the internet, nobody is happier about this insult to me than Pumps. I mean, she revels in it. But I will say when somebody attacks you on the internet, I'm always like, that's my fucking job. I will fucking cut a bitch. Right. Only I get to bully pumps. I will absolutely take those fuckers out.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Do not fuck with my pumps. That's my job. Because then you know I love you.
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Okay. All right. This is something that's so wild. And I have a high school senior right now and he's applied to colleges and I've had it with waiting on college results. We're still waiting to hear from some colleges. And then my older son's applying to law school. So this whole going to college thing has become the biggest racket. Of all rackets. And here's the headline.
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Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
who has been accepted to college where they decorate their bed with merchandise from their chosen university, including clothing, blankets, balloons, and themed snacks, essentially showcasing their school pride and excitement about attending that institution. It's often accompanied by photos on social media to share the news with friends and family.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Parents are spending upwards of $5,000 on these. So like right now, my youngest enrollment applied to 14 colleges. Why? I don't know. But we've heard from about four to five. We are still waiting on others. We're not doing any of this. I'm not going to be doing any of this. And again, why is everything so performative?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Even if that person makes you go to bed later. See, that's what I – I'm like, you're getting into my bedtime here. If I had one person that chronically did this to me, I wouldn't go to dinner with them anymore. I know.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full,
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it, so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Kylie, what's going on on the internet regarding our podcast?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
That's what we're trying to do. We have to keep people engaged and we can't pre-surrender to all this shit.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Instance by instance, this podcast is about community, camaraderie, and shared shit talking. And I think we're all entitled to laugh every Tuesday and Thursday. So in that vein, let's ask the star of our show. Great dog mom. So what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
That is so, you know what's so crazy to me that like, At the end of this, it's not going to end well. He's not a spring chicken. At some point, Trumpism will come to an end. He is a person. Now, Trumpism as a movement may live on, but it's not going to be as contagious because there's something about this guy that these people like.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And they're going to have to look back on that and go, oh my God, I was a nut for this guy that can't blend his makeup.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Do you think they will? Or do you think they just go? I mean, I look at people like in Scientology, that's what I compare it to. And you've got the diehards that you can't say one word about David Miscavige. They are just like, you cannot say one word. Same thing about Jesus, the whole nine. I just don't think that they'll ever cycle out of it unless they get, what do you call it? Deprogrammed.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I mean, I just don't think him dying and a new person coming in, even though I know they say he's charismatic, I don't understand it, but I just can't imagine that they'd be like, oh yeah, he was really bad.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
even fox news was criticizing him it was short and it was short-lived even your mother who's a triple time trump voter criticized him after january 6th but then they all went back on board but what he's doing right now this level of dismantling of uh our security our country our allies there will be some monday morning quarterbacking and i'm going to tell you what listener
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
We're not going to let them have it. We're going to go. You did it three times. You did it three times. You tripled down. You made Canada hate us.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Yes. You can't make Canada hate anything. They're the nicest people on the planet.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I know. I know. Okay. Kylie, what's next on the agenda?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay, that is good. That's so good. And I love like, you're the bitch. I'm the moan, the double entendre. I love a double entendre.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Well, my brain went there immediately. Immediately. Before Kylie read what Sam wrote. And I was like, oh, it's perfect that she'd be moaned because she hasn't been laid. And so we can just keep gaslighting the whole situation. I loved it. I love a double entendre as well. All right, Kylie, what else do we have in store for our banger of an episode today?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay, I've had it with a lot of things. Obviously, in Trump's America, it's easy. But I've had it with two of my kids go to the University of Oklahoma. One just graduated from Oklahoma State University. Every time there's a weather alert, a class closing, any kind of notification that a college student would need to anticipate their schedule. I get...
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Oh, my God. Okay, perhaps I wanted to show you this. Listener, I'm going to describe it for you. There is the Carrollton Church of Christ, and one side of their outdoor sign says, you have a God-sized hole in you. And the other side says, how are you trying to fill it in?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
You know, it's so funny, all of the erotica and some of the language, you know, with some of these churches, it absolutely cracks me up. Okay, Kylie, what's next? Okay. A conservative writer who accused drag queens of grooming kids is arrested for child molestation.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Not even a kind of a surprise? And I know we say it all the time, the people that are screaming the loudest are the ones that are doing it. All these people that are on and on about, you know, people being gay, they're the ones that are crashing Grindr at the Republican National Convention two times. I mean, this is chapter and verse projection.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And I will say, I will give MAGA credit for one thing. Their projection is like nothing I've ever seen. And you should have seen my ex-husband. Like, he was child's play compared to these motherfuckers. What?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
just the projection like he's talking about grooming and of course he's grooming they're always trying to cover it up with your ex-husband no no no i'm saying like he was always projecting stupid shit on me i'm just saying i've been around a lot of projection not about no no no no not about that but i'm just saying you know he would sit in church and point out the husbands that were unfaithful
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
he was the worst offender. So I'm just saying, I'm familiar with projection and these people have, I mean, have it sewed up.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay, Bill says, I've had it with unsolicited iPhone notification. Let me give you an example. I don't need five notification and deals from DoorDash and Uber Eats a day. You'd think the simple solution would be just turn them off, but it's not quite that easy.
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Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
if i turned off those delicious food delivery app notifications i'd never know when the food my fat ass ordered is nearing my doorstep and the notifications always come up when i'm in the middle of something it's harassment and it needs to stop okay bill i have this exact same struggle because i have turned off my notifications from ubereats
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And then 10 minutes after my food's delivered, I finally figure it out. So you're torn. Do you keep your notifications on so you know when your food's there? Or do you get harassed all day long with the stupid shit? It's a catch-22, Bill. I get it. I've had it too. I wish you could just have the notifications when your order's out. You didn't have to have them 24-7.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Yeah, I'm anti-notifications. However, I am still somewhat jealous that Netflix sends you shows to watch. I wish I could trade that to where you didn't get them and then I got them, but I don't know how to do that. I don't want to go into the settings of my phone.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Would you screenshot them and send them to me? I'm always looking for a good show. Next up, Rose says, I've had it with working in an office. I spend an inordinate amount of time around full grown adults who can't rinse out a sink or throw away expired food. And it's killing my brain cells one by one. One man I work with is notorious for not washing his hands after using the urinal.
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And another woman likes to walk around the office, including the bathroom, without shoes. Corporate America is, in my estimation, little more than a petri dish designed to germinate the next big plague a la COVID, Spanish influenza and the Black Death.
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texts and phone calls as if i am a student at the university of oklahoma currently enrolled in classes now my other son he never got that nobody ever notified me if class was closed at osu i never heard a thing about it oh you i get a call and a text from the university and the calls are like a minute and a half long i mean i don't listen to them but they're taking a lot of space up there
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coupled with the crunchy moms who don't wear deodorant and mushy sandwiches in the fridge that just might be the only holdover left from the Carter administration, I can almost guarantee we'll be ground zero for the next deadly pathogen that sweeps the streets of gin pumps in Kathy's America. Hey Rose, we don't have a very big office.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
But I have to say, The situation is it all comes back down to sharing. Right. Sharing is hard. And it's one of the first thing our parents teach us. And our instinct as a toddler is no, mine. And I still feel that. I can still feel that sometimes. And it's not necessarily like if I have something, I'll give it. It's more about my personal space. I'm very selfish with. Pumps, what about you?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Not washing the hands is fucking gross. I mean, that's just- Let's talk about that. The urinal. The urinal. I mean, that is disgusting. Here's the thing. Let me ask you something, Pumps.
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Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
know i like to you know just mess with you a little bit what if the guy's hot and you know for 100 certain because i know what a size queen you are and our listener knows what a size queen you are i mean you talk about large dicks at a rate the likes of which this country has never seen and so i'm just curious
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
For somebody that has such an insatiable appetite for large cock as you, this guy is, I mean, he's good looking. We're talking salt and pepper hair, like 48 to fit to your age and well-dressed, great bullshit. And everything about him is a 12 out of 10. And you find out that he goes and he uses the urinal and all the other coworkers are like, he doesn't wash his hands.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
do not give one fuck about it if he's got a big dick and he's hot give two shits okay what about i'm not a germaphobe what about teeny weeny not and maga teeny weeny not hot and maggot Any one of those is the disqualifier. All three together.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
How do you feel if he touches you? He tries to touch your hand with his little penis maggot infected hand. What do you do? Do you go exfoliate the hand? What's your course of action?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I know you don't wash your hand. Please don't touch me. It's gross. Even though if he was hot and had a big dick, I would be like, put him in my mouth. I don't care.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
The barefoot? The barefoot? Oh, yeah. In a workspace? Okay, here's the deal. I don't see these anymore, and maybe they don't still exist, but no shoes, no shirt, no service. That was like everywhere when we were growing up. There is absolutely no reason on planet Earth somebody should take their shoes off and walk around at work. I mean, I get if you have to readjust your sock or whatever.
I've Had It
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Okay. We do this. You and I sometimes take our shoes off and walk around the podcast.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I mean, we don't make a habit of it. It's not like we roll around without shoes on.
I've Had It
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I haven't noticed and I don't care. They're clean socks. I will say... I think it was her name, Rose. I think Rose's point is this sounds like a pretty big office space.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And probably cubicles and taking a barefoot into a large corporate restroom is a level of a lot of give a fuck meter being broken. I'm attracted to, I like it. That level of I don't give a fuck that I'm going to step in people's shedding of their bodily stuff in a bathroom. I'm out on that.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And so I have two kids there. I get two texts about, hey, we're going to be closed tomorrow. And I get two phone calls on my voicemail. My thing is, what am I supposed to do about it? They're grown. They're at college. Like, let them know. It's not my job to police them anymore. I did it for 18 years. I've had it.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I would rather if I had to choose a coworker that walked around with their shoes off or didn't wash their hands after they peed. I think I would choose the no hand washing because I'm not going to touch the person, but just walking around seeing people's feet.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Let me ask you this. If you could only wash your hands either before a meal or after a meal for the rest of your life, and that includes meals that you have to use your hands for, I'm talking like buffalo wings, greasy stuff that you have to touch and hold, but you can only do one or the other, what do you do?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
after me too because i mean same and i'm just not a huge germaphobe at all i mean i had three kids so like luke when he was my youngest had a pacifier forever i remember The first baby, you know, you boil the bottle, you do all that shit. I remember distinctly walking through the mall when people still went to the malls with him in a stroller and his pacifier. He was maybe six months old.
I've Had It
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His pacifier went flying out of the stroller. I remember picking it up, wiping it on my jeans and sticking it back in his mouth.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
All right. What do we have next today, Kylie? We have one last listener had it. Okay. All right, Kyle says, had it with people who merge at the last possible second in a construction zone. There are signs for two plus miles warning you that the right lane is ending. It even reminds you every half mile that the right lane is ending.
I've Had It
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I have already done my due diligence and moved myself out of the right lane well in advance to it ending. Then at the last fucking second, you've got some asshole who is barreling down the right lane about to hit the orange cones, turning signal on, cutting you off at 60 plus miles per hour. Like what? What's the issue? Can you not read the signs?
I've Had It
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It is not my emergency that you have poor planning. I've had it. my eyeballs with the incompetence of drivers. Kyle, I feel this with every molecule of DNA in my body.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I always get mad at like road rage. I mean, I just, I try to like, you're not getting, I'm not going to give it to you. I'm like, I mean, I'm just like, there's not a piece of paper between us. I won't do it.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Yeah, I'm not doing it. I am like, I am not letting this person in. This is a showboater. This is a person who thinks the rules don't apply to them. We're all going to end up getting to the place within this, around the same time period. I think we all have to, the people that enable these showboaters and let them in at the last minute,
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
All right, this is Titty Baby Enabling, and our listeners know that we have covered helicopter parents in college and identified that they are the problem, and we advocated for universities Having the ability to say, parents, you don't go to school here anymore. Your children are legal adults. Sit down and shut up and let us deal with your kids and let them head down a road of autonomy.
I've Had It
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I hold them more responsible than I do the showboater because these are the enablers.
I've Had It
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I agree. Totally agree. Everybody just needs to be like, fuck you.
I've Had It
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I've Had It
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And your enabling is not going to help anything. So here we have a situation where the University of Oklahoma seems to be enabling a helicopter, tomahawk chopper parents. And this is not helpful, but I have a solution for you. I happen to play cardio tennis with the president of the University of Oklahoma.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Well, given that you have your cat's ashes, Jennifer, what do you have to say for yourself? I have to say that I am for the cremating and taking the body home. I really genuinely am. I think that embalming people and like trying to preserve them seems like so weird and like putting them in these soft cushy coffins and then putting them in the ground is more bizarre to me personally.
I've Had It
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And I love the collar and I love the grievance and I love the delivery and all of that. But I, I'm for the cremating and I,
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
taking the person home like i remember uh i have this friend he's dead now but his name is drew and he was this great hairdresser when i was in my early 20s gay guy and his partner for many many years um died of aids during the aids crisis in the 80s and um he had his partner cremated and he was a he had his partner's ashes my friend drew ended up dying of aids many years later but um i always liked that when i went to his house he had his partner
I've Had It
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I don't know. I just kind of liked it. I liked the whole cremating and then liked that the person's there. And then I have three dead animals, ashes, just right over here to my left collar.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay. I have a confession to make that I'd kind of forgotten about until this had it. But my ex-mother-in-law was cremated and we made- The one you hated? The one I fucking hated. So I'm in the attic.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
there's like this heavy box and i didn't know what it was oh no we were moving and it was her ashes i mean i didn't spill them or anything and so i tell my ex i'm like these are here like take them to work you know do whatever you want to do with them and he's like well i don't know what to do with them what am i supposed to do with them like well what am i supposed to do with them so went back and forth and he's just like do whatever you want with them
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
You're dead. I knew it. You can throw my ashes away. I don't care because I'm dead. So I did. Did he know? Oh, thank goodness he didn't. I don't think so. He never asked me again. It was his mother.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I knew. The minute you said attic and you found your mother-in-law's ashes, I knew exactly what you did with them. I knew. I knew.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I sought out solutions, but he had none. yeah i mean you were in a difficult situation i guess here's the deal like my dad died i had him cremated i just said get rid of it like not very it's just like wearing his ashes i don't know i told it i paid for them to they were cremated okay let me ask you this i dropped dead today
I've Had It
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and I was cremated and I put in my will that I wanted for you to have 25% of my ashes, would you throw them away?
I've Had It
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Ultimately, yes. I mean, I might keep them around for a little bit, but at some point, you know me, I throw shit away. Like I'm not a collector. I'm the opposite of a hoarder. So it'd be like, okay, love you, kiss. You're dead.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
His daughter and my son, Roman, are really good friends, have gone to school together since they were three. His name is Joe. So we can go about this two ways, Pumps, because if you fuck with Pumps, you fuck with me. So here's the options I have for you. Number one, at cardio tennis, I can go, Joe, what's going on with
I've Had It
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So how long do you think you'd keep me around before you threw me away?
I've Had It
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Okay, I'm going to go to my estate planner just for spite. Make me wear a necklace. The likelihood of this is obviously very slim considering how much older you are than I, but I am going to put in that I want you to receive something like 33, some weird number, 33.8% of my ashes. and that I want you to keep them around until your death. And then I want my ashes mixed with your ashes.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I'm gonna get it notarized. I'm gonna file it in court. I'm gonna do as much as I possibly can to torture you from the grave with these ashes, because I do think it would bring you some joy later in life to go, God damn it, your fucking ashes. She won't let me throw them away. She's got a court order. And I think it will give you something. It would be some grievance.
I've Had It
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And so that's going to be my gift to do in the very, very small chance that I happen to pass before you considering the aforementioned athleticism and health stats that you witnessed at the doctor's office.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Yes, I would. I just think you're saying that. No, I'm not. I would want them and I would take them somewhere and I would take them to Mexico where we've gone on Thanksgiving and put them on the beach and have a... Yes, I would.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Okay. Now that I can see. Like if you take somebody's ashes and they love a place and you throw their ashes out, I'm...
I've Had It
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I'm all, you know what else I would do? You know what else I would do for you? I would take all of your dead animals, ashes and mix your ashes with your dead animals. And I would go take you and your animals mix and equally make sure everybody's all mixed up together and throw it all the places that brought you joy. Because that's how I love. I don't just discard people after a year.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
That's what you said you'd do with me. Kylie, rewind the tape. I just, you're dead.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Well, the real test will be when Ollie, when my, the love of my life, but I didn't, the vet got rid of Bodie. I didn't get his ashes, but we'll see what happens.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
you'll want that french bulldog's ashes and then you'll put you'll start turning into a nut one of your ashes mixed with french bulldog's ashes yeah i'm not ruling that out but let me just tell you that i will be calling my attorney that has my living will and i'm going to draft as many a flurry of legal documents as possible to make sure that i give you something to about because i know it brings you joy
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Yeah, it does. It would take years off my life. That's what I'm going to do for you in the small instance that you outlive me. Okay, Kylie, last one.
I've Had It
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sending out these alerts to the parents i mean these parents are out of control send it to the kids only and make the kids manage it i can be reasonable this is a tempered approach right that's what a normal person would do or while we're playing against each other because that cardio tennis you end up playing like these two play against these two etc i can just start targeting every ball at joe
I've Had It
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I do? Yeah. I can't believe that. I can't wait to find out who it is. Sorry, listener. But I can't wait to land the plane to figure out who these nuts are.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I mean, I have to say, you know, I, this type of shit, like couples that have to do everything together, it gets under my skin. Yeah. almost disproportionately, that it makes me question, am I so mad about this because I secretly in some Freudian way kind of want this? Because why am I reacting to this like this? And it just infuriates me because there's just such a lack of individuality to it.
I've Had It
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And the Jim couples that are doing everything together, I mean, I would literally just, like she said, want to scream like, Donald Trump is president.
I've Had It
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Quit fucking around, you two. Here's the deal. When she's describing they're doing joint pushups and all that, I'm thinking somebody's fucking around. Like nobody is that doing that, that somebody's not being naughty outside the relationship. That's just my personal opinion. I don't know.
I've Had It
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think it's weird either that or it's like the most brand new relationship we're still in the you you know endorphin rush phase because nobody that's married wants to do that that's that there's no it's an actual thing it's an actual enmeshed couples it's an actual thing where they're addicted to each other and i've met people like this where you could
I've Had It
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pry them apart they're so toxic together you could pry them apart with a crowbar and they end up just with the strongest magnetic force just straight back together again and it's like they're addicted to each other in a very toxic way it's a very real thing you know that we've talked about it we've identified
I've Had It
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Yeah. Because they're together constantly. Constantly. Yeah. I would like to see some phone history. That's just personal.
I've Had It
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I just, I'm just cynical. I know. Okay. Listen up, listeners. We are on Substack. We have a robust YouTube channel. We have another podcast called IHIP News that drops twice daily, which are digestible talking points about the fucked up shit that we're living through right now, all of us together. But we're going to get through this and we're going to unapologetically stand up for democracy
I've Had It
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And at the end of class, I'll be like, God, Jennifer, what's wrong with you? And I go, that's for all the helicopter promoting texts that you send pumps, Jo. That's what those balls were for. So you just tell me how you want me to handle it and I'll do it accordingly.
I've Had It
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human rights. And we're not going to shut up in that right pumps. That's exactly right. We have merch and we have a fabulous book coming out and all of this is hashtag Lincoln bio and pumps. Why don't you tell them?
I've Had It
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Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
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That's it. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
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I think, obviously, I like the tennis ball approach, which reminds me of a story. Launch missiles. It pains me to tell this story. So yesterday, Jennifer and I are at the doctor for her. She's got a sore throat, fluid in her ear, all this stuff. So the doctor's checking her out and she's like- This is such a good story. I fucking was so mad. She's like, well, your resting heart rate is great.
I've Had It
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I believe the listener and I and Kylie will give you a hall pass because there's always a caveat for dogs. Right. And gay people.
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It's like 80 something. And Jennifer was like, that's kind of high for me. And she says, oh, well, you must be an athlete. And I just, I said out loud, oh my gosh, please do not stoke this fire. So we go on for a few minutes. Then she's putting in something about her deal. And she's like, oh, well, I can tell by your such and such that you're an athlete.
I've Had It
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And I was just like, Jesus Christ, shut the fuck up. Do not encourage this woman. She's back.
I've Had It
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Here's what's so great about this whole thing, listener. Like this could have happened and I wouldn't have had a witness to it. And then I would have come on the podcast and I would have sounded like I was making it up, right? But we're sitting in there and she does like my oxygen thing and the resting heart rate, my blood pressure, everything. And she's like...
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
wow i mean you're in incredible shape i mean these are like the stats of an athlete but i'm just looking over at pops smug af i mean it was to be sick was totally worth it for this moment like this was one of those moments and the one person that i wanted to be tortured by this was my very best friend the dawning of an angel angelina pumpkin tina and she was right there but i have to say
I've Had It
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Pumps is such a good friend that she actually took me to the doctor and then to pay her back for being so sweet. I took her and got manicure and pedicure, but that was really fun. Let me tell you what I've had it with. All right. I've had it with our friend Renee Stubbs. And listener, you might not know who Renee Stubbs is.
I've Had It
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Renee Stubbs is a former Grand Slam tennis champion, doubles champion from Australia. She's an ESPN news commentator for tennis. Every January, she heads over to Australia to cover the Australian Open. So it starts with this barrage because it's summer down there, winter up here. It starts with these barrage of her hanging out with like all the top tennis players at the Australian Open.
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And then she's with all these beautiful lesbians on like beaches and it just keeps going and going. Well, the Australian Open comes to a screeching halt. We're inaugurating dipshit over here. The weather's terrible. It's everybody knows. It's like cinder blocks raining down on you and you're just like, fuck. So you get on social media for a respite from all the fuckery, right?
I've Had It
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Yes. All right. Listen. Listen up, listener. I know that everybody is seeing the abject shit show of incompetence and cruelty on display with Trump 2.0. And this podcast, we laugh and laugh. bitch and shit talk. And I feel like we would be remiss to not acknowledge at the top of these episodes, so many of our listeners are beautiful blue dots in a sea of red.
I've Had It
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And our dear friend, Renee Stubbs, Every single post is like she's on a boat. She's at Bondi Beach. She's at these fabulous houses floating on rafts. And I ended up getting pretty aggressive in my DMs to her. I was like, this is infuriating. I've had it. And it just keeps going and going and going. She finally lands back in New York mid-February.
I've Had It
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And then she starts texting Pumps and me to flex on us more. She's like, yeah, I'm just here for a few days and then I'm heading to Whistler and then I'm going to Palm Springs for a bit with like a kissy face emoji. And this is just high level trolling. And what's so good about this trolling is she's not intentionally targeting us. This is what we feel like we're the targets.
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So it's so successful. Like it's wildly successful trolling and I've just had it.
I've Had It
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Yeah, I've had her, I mean her life, I about once a week I will send her a text that says, I just want your life. I want to be you. I want to have a beautiful girlfriend and travel all over the world all the time and be with all the famous people. That's what I want to do. But instead she gets to do it. She's always cordial.
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And here's the thing. You want to hate her, but she's not the likable person on the planet.
I've Had It
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All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show, America's Legal Eagle, despite us finding out there actually is a legal eagle who's like wildly successful. Right. Somebody messaged me, I can't remember who it was, that like their roommate got engaged to the real legal eagle. Really? Yes. It was crazy. Okay.
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I can't remember who it was because I have like sick brain. Okay. I want to share a story with you guys. Kylie, are you here? I'm here. They're sweet, Kylie. Okay. I want to share a story that I had forgotten about. And I just think it's a really good, a really good story. And in Trump's America, we need these type of good stories for camaraderie. So Pumps and I have this friend, Julie.
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ready one two three i have to do it super quiet because my dog is right next to me and if i clap really hard he'll wake up you can already hear him snoring but i don't want to i don't want to wake him up that is not the type of clap that's a limp dick no dick energy clap that is not the cut type of clap that the patriots the gay triets and the patriots need to survive trump's american but
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And I've been friends with her forever. She's like loyal as shit, tough as nails. Like you're so happy that she likes you because you know if she doesn't, you're screwed. So Julie's not to be trifled with, right? No. So Julie calls me one day. And she's like, oh my God, my car was stolen out of my driveway. Like what? I accidentally left the keys in it. I didn't mean to. I ran in.
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I came back out. It's gone. I'm coming to pick you up. We're going to drive around and look for it. And this is before like the cars had GPS. So maybe it was like five, six years ago, not that long ago. And I'm always game for an investigation. So I was like, pick me up. I'm ready. Let's go. So we start driving through neighborhoods. And Julie will get up at 4 a.m. and do more by 7 a.m.
I've Had It
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than most people do in a month. Like she's a highly productive individual and she's kind of manic, right? But like the good kind of manic. So we're driving around and she's like, you know what? Let's divide and conquer. You get in your car, I'm going to get in my car. I think we can cover more space. We're driving around looking everywhere for a car.
I've Had It
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And Oklahoma City is like the second largest landmass city that there is. So we're never going to find it, right? Well, about like 10 days later, Julie calls me and she goes, oh my God, such and such just called me. She saw, and it was a white Volvo SUV. She said, she saw a white Volvo SUV over, and it's like a mile from where I live. And behind this apartment complex, I think it's my car.
I've Had It
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I'm going to come pick you up. Let's go. so we drive over there sure enough it's her car like we found it because juliet sent out like mass alerts to everybody in oklahoma city my car was stolen keep an eye out blah blah so we call 911 the police come and they're like okay do you have your like you know registration or title she's like yeah he's like okay all right you can take your car she's like
I've Had It
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Um, don't you want to interview me and like fingerprint the car? And the cops are like, no, like your car was stolen. Here's your car. We're moving on. We have bigger fish to fry. She's like, I mean, you don't want to take fingerprints or anything. He's like, you got your car back, move on down the road. Julie was having none of it. She launches her own personal investigation.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And I have to say, I was recruited to be the assistant investigator. So Julie starts going door to door around this apartment complex, interviewing people, right? Like, hey, do you know who was driving that white car? Across the street from the apartment complex is this house. And these people were like, oh yeah, Billy was driving that car. Well, that was my car. And Julie's super confrontational.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
A lot of our listeners are members of the LGBTQ plus community. A lot of our members are black and brown and marginalized. And
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Again, listener, I said she's not to be trifled with, right? So they're like, oh, well, he said that somebody gave it to him or he was borrowing it. She said, well, no, he stole it. And I need my keys back because she had a spare key and the cops let her take it with a spare key, but she didn't have the original set of keys. Like, all right, we'll tell Billy.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
So Julie proceeds because the police were far from helpful in this matter because they considered it a case solved. Julie was having no part of that. So she starts going to this house three and four times a day. Is Billy here? I still need to get my keys back. Is Billy here? I need my keys. Is Billy here? I need my keys. Relentless.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Finally, like four days later, she walks outside and goes to get her mail. And there's a sack and a note in her mailbox. Her keys are in the sack and there's a note that says, Billy didn't mean to steal your car. He doesn't live in this house. Please leave these people alone.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Here's the thing about Julie. She's maybe 5'2 or 5'3, 100 pounds soaking wet. But she is like a fucking baller. Like, you do not want to be on the run. Here's the deal. It takes me zero imagination to see her rolling up to that house every day, three or four times a day, knocking on the door. I need my keys. Where's Billy? I mean, they put him on her porch and said, leave these people alone.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
She beat the criminals down so much so that they wrote a handwritten note and returned the keys to her house. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And every single key was on there. And I mean, it was just like she was not going to let it go. And still, she calls me and we're dying laughing. And she's still like, I want to know why you did it. I'm like, Julie, you have to stop. Stop.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
actually i think in this here listenership the white women for good assemble here and that is a becoming a minority that embarrasses the hell out of me but i do this little pep talk at the beginning of this to say what you're seeing is real but in order to get through this we form communities and on our other podcast i have news we break down the fuckery
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
She would duct tape him to a chair and do a full interview had she gotten her hands on Billy. There's no question. Waterboard that guy. Yeah.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info?
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site ever. That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah. No, it's amazing. When you told me that your boys are big thrifters, that just had to be a stab in the heart.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah, I'm a great corner wrapper. But I just, it irritates me. I'm the only one that wraps in my house. So I end up wrapping everything. And on a couple of the dog wrapper wrapping. Wait, what do you mean dog wrapping? Well, for the dog's presents, I got them little babies.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay. Here's what I have to say about that to her fiancee. His or her, whoever the fiance is, run, run, run. You've got a stage five. I hate her. She's going to make your life miserable, she or he. To not have the good sense to either... Move the food around on your plate. Bring your own whatever you're going to eat. Just being that picky in general.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Like there are so many things I despise about this person. Well, and here's the thing that gets me.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Bring your own food. It's not hard. Yeah. I'm going to give that a run, run, run. Okay, here's one.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I don't even know where to start on that. Number one, he gives her only money. She didn't have access to fund money because he only gives her money for the kids and the house. Like we got a huge problem there. He gives her $600 to buy himself a gift. The least of her problems. is the shoes versus the console.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I mean, this is a very controlling, very, like, again, I'm just going to say it again, run, run, run.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Well, and you know, the clue is, is she doesn't have access. So he's only putting a certain amount of money in her account and she can't access his earnings. It's a big problem. I bet he screws around too. One million percent. I bet he got his girlfriend more than $600 worth of shit.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
This is the theme for me today, but run, run, run. What the fuck is happening at their Christmas that they do this? And then they're saying she embarrassed him. Like this family, you need to get away from them.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I mean, run. This is crazy town. Yeah. First of all. I remember the days when you were like newly and you wanted to impress the family. She got them all chocolates. She got nice gifts. She did all that. I think her expecting a gift from people she doesn't know is ridiculous. That's just not my thing. But what they did was out of line.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yes, but haven't we already established on the podcast through the course of history, I'm the biggest hypocrite on the planet?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
that she embarrassed him. Yeah, that's bad. It's bad, bad, bad, bad.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I say not the asshole. I think that's a great boundary. She sounds very healthy.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I completely agree. And the fact that she hurt your daughter's feelings and implied that you loved her less, I think that's all you need to say. Like, we're not tolerating that. Yeah. We gave you a chance. You fucked it up. Now you're going to find out.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Are those new pants? Because I assume they are because you've gained weight, but I really like them. Those kind of comments.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Right. I mean, I'm sure this woman... It's that kind of shit. Yeah. It's just miserable to be around. Yeah. No, I give a big...
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah. So I ran out of paper on the dogs when I was wrapping their gifts. And so the whole backside of the dogs, I wrapped on the front and the sides, the top and the sides. It's just box in the back.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Right. But I also in the I've done my time. It's like now I get to do something for me. Mm hmm. I get to be the one that makes decisions about what I want to do and not what everybody else wants to do. So I agree. I like the kids growing up. I like them better every year. Every year they're older, I like them better. Adult kids are great.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
The activities that we do are fun. Here's the deal. That whole senior year, you're right in the thick of it, but it's just like, oh, it's so sad. It's like, it's fucking happy. They're getting ready to start their lives and we get a second chance at life. There's zero downside, in my opinion. But I mean, I've gone on and on about that last year.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Ho, ho, ho. All right. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is wrapping paper. And let me tell you why. I've got all my gifts wrapped. I'm ready to go. I have two gifts left. I have to go out and rebuy wrapping paper. I just think we should do unwrapped gifts. Have you ever been to those showers where everything's just unwrapped so you don't have to open it?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
That's the most fantastic thing I've ever seen in my life. How much do you love that?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Quit letting cunt be your default setting because nobody likes you. Right. And I just, I want to say, you didn't say those women were closer to my age. You said our age. So that right there tells me you're trying not to be a cunt. I appreciate it.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
But, and a terrible winter, but happy holidays. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas. All the things. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Was it because he was like super hairy or was just the face? Just the face looked like an old person face.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Immediately. I've seen it with a baby and a toddler, but not a teen. Like I can immediately, when I see a baby, I can say, oh my gosh, that baby looks like a little old man or that toddler looks like a little old lady. But I haven't really noticed it on a teen or a tween, really. So, but you're not talking about like just super hairy face.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I think I take it one step further. I would say instead of saying there are very few beautiful babies, I would say 90 plus percent. of babies are ugly until they kind of get cute. And very specific to my own self, when my first child was born, you know, you have back in the day, you had like a photographer come in or they took like a picture.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
That's what my campaign is going to be. And now granted, I don't have one Christmas decoration up. I don't have my Christmas tree up. I only have lights and a wreath on my door. That's it. That's the list. But I'm just like, fuck. It's like Christmas and I have no paper.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
It wasn't like a photographer, but it was like you put them up in clothes before they left and you took a picture. And I mean, it was like two days old. Right. And I just thought, that's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in my life. I mean, that is a beautiful baby.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
So by the time the picture comes in, like two, three weeks later through the mail, I look at it and I think, that's the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And you look around because everybody was having babies the same time I was like my friends. All the babies are ugly. They all look alike. There's nothing like super cute about them. So I'm just gonna take it further.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Most babies are not cute. Almost bordering on ugly. I mean, there is a rare, rare, rare beautiful baby.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Well, but you know, it's also like everybody thinks their kids, like you look at your kids and you think, oh my gosh, that's like a gorgeous child or whatever. And everybody else is thinking, eh, not that cute. So I think a lot of people are putting it on there and then you have all the, you know, and everybody's like, God, that kid's not very cute. That's kind of an ugly baby. But I like her.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I like the dad. I like the grandma. So I'm going to say, oh, my God, that's a beautiful baby. But really, so what you're doing is you're encouraging them. You're an enabler. You're an enabler.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
That is just like genius. All you just say is look at this. See, unless I really think the baby's beautiful, I just put a heart.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Well, there's only – I only follow three people and they all have really cute babies. So I got lucky on that situation.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
My mother would probably sit here and say, oh, no, you were absolutely gorgeous, darling. The most beautiful baby in the history of the world. When you said you had a port wine stain, I was like, I have known you for 22 years and I've never noticed it. So it can't be that dramatic. But it... You grew out of it.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
It doesn't stand out at all. But if I got her Christmas card and her son is flipping her off in her Christmas card. It would go in my fridge. Oh my gosh. I would never take it off. I would be like, she's my hero. No, that's a million times better. A million times better.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay, I got a few questions. Oh, my God. Who is she sending? People. Is that like for her parents and grandparents?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay. And I'm anti-Christmas registry. I'm anti-sending anybody but your parents. But a little pushback, yes. I always ask my kids for a Christmas list. Emily graciously, she picks it out, sends me the link. All I have to do is hit the link button. So there is something like if my child sent me a list with the links that all I had to do is Apple Pay it, I do find some beauty in that.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
But then I hate Christmas. Right. I've already established. Right.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
manscaping, but also your former, you know, redneck self.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with people that ask you what time it is when they're holding their own iPhone in their hand. And I'll give you an example of this. Yesterday we were in the airport, you and me and our son Roman.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And do you think that maybe psychologically they know they can't kick anybody's ass? And so then and maybe then they're playing this out.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
What do you think from your childhood growing up in a very guns and religion style culture, not your personal family, but the community in which you lived, where Obama said people cling to guns and religion? That's definitely true. We know of people in Oklahoma. What messaging would the Democratic Party have to have to ever get these people on board? Or is that over?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And you start shouting to me like three or four times in a row. What time is it? What time is it? What time is it? I turn around and I'm on one of those moving platforms. And I see that your cell phone isn't just in your hand, but it's like about eight inches from your face. And I decided this is a new thing that I do with you. I just don't answer. So I just, I don't answer.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I saw a tweet on Twitter probably in the last week, and somebody wrote, I just wish for one election cycle the Democrats would run as being dicks. like dicks for social justice, dicks for the economy, dicks for social security, dicks for Medicare. Just fuck you. Yeah, we're fighting for old people to get the money that they paid into and not give it to billionaires.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah, we're going to fight for your poor ass to have Medicare. You don't want to vote for it. That's fine. We'll vote for it anyway. Just... One election cycle to vote as we're dicks. And speaking of somebody who is not afraid of a fight, I'm really happy to have on today Rahm Emanuel. He is a former U.S.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
ambassador to Japan, the former mayor of Chicago, and the former chief of staff to President Barack Obama. So let's welcome Rahm Emanuel. Okay, listener, I have to share with you guys my current new obsession. They're called mix tiles. What are mix tiles? They're these super cool peel and stick photos that seamlessly attach to any wall without leaving any damage.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for the season. Head to ShadyRays.com with code HADIT for 35% off their premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer sun. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
So I keep it up. And then Roman finally is like, answers what time it is. But I've decided I've had it with people asking you what time it is when they themselves have the answer right in their very hands.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. Okay, let's welcome to I've Had It, Rahm Emanuel. Rahm, how are you today?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Very, very, very well. I hear that there is when your team was emailing you about coming on this podcast, you were somewhat confused.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And so this has been something that even before Trump's second win, there has been a lot of grievances in the country that I think have become overlooked, particularly by Congress. Like, you know, what's going on with all of these group texting issues.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
you know people are having individual conversations nobody's regulating this at all and so it's kind of you know caught on like wildfire so we always ask our guests what they've had it with so what have you had it with well what there's a long list how long are we going to be here for we can go we can go well you know what uh
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Well, we can speak to that because we live in Oklahoma, which is a red state, deeply red state, often brags about not one county flipping blue. We have had a Republican supermajority in the executive branch in the governor's office and the House, the Supreme Court, all of it, state Senate. We're ranked either 49th or 50th, whatever you look at. That's what Oklahoma is ranked.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That's what MAGA policies get you. And what irritates me as a progressive person that lives in a red state that sees firsthand how damaging these policies are is that liberals and progressives and Democrats on the coast never use the tried and true – experimental breeding grounds that are these red states to show you exactly what a heaping pile of dog shit these policies are.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
When you have Republican super majorities, people are dumber, poorer, sicker, all the stuff. And you don't we don't ever hear about it.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Well, I think that there is, particularly in our state, we have this unhinged superintendent of school. And he sits in his car and he makes videos every day. I'm not exaggerating. You can see it on his Twitter. I've seen it. Yeah. And he's talking about this transgender and radicalized gay agenda that's happening in Oklahoma. I'm boots on the ground.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I can tell our listener and everybody nationwide, and we have a lot of international listeners, there is no gay agenda in Oklahoma. This is the buckle of the Bible Belt. And if people are gay, they come out out of sheer bravery in places like this. And so I just see, I'm really, really critical of red state governments because I see them weaponize government against anybody who's different.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
and not a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant. And I see the dangers of it.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
So we have an 18-year-old senior in high school and then a senior at Syracuse at the Newhouse School of Journalism. They're both graduating this May.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah, I just I feel like right now there is a segment of the population that has an empathy problem. And you have people that are in close proximity to the president of the United States. I'm talking about Elon Musk that speaks out about empathy. being a problem for their agenda. And this is like a cancer and it's like a virus and we live around it and we see it.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And I see the myopic focus that these MAGA people have regarding the worship of this movement, which is consolidated in the identity of, you know, Donald Trump that wears makeup every single day, which I don't give a shit if somebody wears makeup, but their side allegedly does, you know.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
But it's just it's I really feel like right now, in order for us to have the conversations about helping children and about helping poverty, I feel like Democrats need to kind of be dicks. And I know my husband's from a town of 5,000 people, Hugo, Oklahoma, rural as fuck as you could possibly get.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And I think if we don't as a party come out, because we're down here, boots on the ground in MAGA America, and start fighting and calling people out, We're going to lose and we're going to lose again and we're going to lose again. Because what rural America likes about Trump is that he's a fighter.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
He's deranged, no question, but he always comes out every day and he's fighting somebody, even if it's his opinion from the day before he's fighting it.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I disagree with you. I disagree with you 100 million percent.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That is such bullshit. That is total bullshit. That is buying into the right-wing media narrative. And I'm so sick of Democrats like you selling out and saying this. You know who talks about trans people more than anybody? MAGA. MAGA is the most genital obsessed political party I have ever seen. Kamala Harris talked about homeownership. She talked about kitchen table issues.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Trump's over there droning on about Hannibal Lecter. Are you kidding me? This is where the Democrats lose because we're playing the game with the rulebook. They've ripped the rulebook up and are cramming it down everybody's throat. And Democrats are upset because Joe Biden pardoned his son. We've got to fucking fight. They're the gender-obsessed weirdos, not us.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And, yeah, we're not going to bully trans people. We're not going to fucking do it. And if you want to do it, fine.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I agree. Because it's so unrealistic that you're celebrating just normal accomplishments that are just the bare minimum. And it turns into this huge hyper-celebration that I think that there could be a very dangerous anti-child backlash to this over-celebrating of children.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Well, it's certainly important to the Republicans. For me, it's just important not to bully them. And I think this is I agree. I'm not disagreeing. It really it upsets me. It upsets me so much because we live here in this in this.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
red state and you see the damage of it, when I see politicians that are supposed to be leaders in the Democratic Party buy into the narrative that Republicans have defined us by, instead of fighting and saying, you're the weirdos that are obsessed with it. Yeah, we're not going to bully some trans kid. And we buy into their narrative. It's why I think we lose.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And we have to live, I have to live in a state where women rape victims can't get an abortion because of this bullshit. And so I'm going to fight till the bitter end. And I'm not going to let some MAGA moron define what progressive values are. And I think it's a really dangerous precedent, Mr. Emanuel. I'm sorry, but I just, I have to push back.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I think it's important to disagree. I think that's what our site does, that we can disagree about stuff and it's okay.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
He has joined today so that the beaver could take a rest. You know, we started calling her the head beaver in charge. Do you ever listen to our podcast?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I agree with you. Everything you just said, I agree passionately about, you know, equality and opportunity, and I believe it in everything inside of me. Where I fundamentally think the Democratic messaging should be on this, in the last election, the people who talked about bathrooms the most were MAGA. That was their big commercial that turned everybody. It wasn't us.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I think our messaging is that our economic opportunity and educational opportunities, as far as it being equal for everyone, is for everyone. And we're not going to throw anybody under the bus. We're talking about less than 10 athletes in the NCAA out of 500,000. I know. That's what's crazy about this. It's nuts. And MAGA is the one that talks about it all the time.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
What about the parents that overtly brag about their kids' and or grandkids' accomplishments? I'll give you an example. So I saw my aunt the other day, my dad's sister. Love her. She's darling. But she says to me that her grandson, who's 15... took an ACT exam, a practice exam, and got every single question right. Every single question right on the ACT exam.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
For a limited time only, our listeners are getting a huge discount on the iRestore Elite when you use code HATIT at iRestore.com. Head over to iRestore.com and use code HATIT for our show's exclusive discount on the iRestore Elite. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Hair loss is so frustrating. You don't have to fight it alone. Thanks to iRestore.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Long-time listeners of this podcast know that I consider my French Bulldogs, Tubby and Cha-Cha, to be my biological children. I will pick up a mountain and move it with Herculean effort to make sure my dogs have everything they need. That's why I'm so proud to announce that today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
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I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That's aspcapetinsurance.com slash had it. Again, that's aspcapetinsurance.com slash had it. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. So here's where I think we can agree.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I agree with everything you just said. I wish, my wish is that the Democrats would say, flip the script and say, why are you guys so obsessed with the restroom? It's all you talk about. It's all your ads are about. Why are Republicans so genital obsessed? We care about kitchen table issues. I wish we would just fight a little bit more on that.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Because these people are too easy to get and we let them define us. And when we see that and say we're when they say, oh, Democrats are too into this and then we see that, it upsets me.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Okay. We're going to play a quick game, and it's called Had It or Hit It. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had It or Hit It, Secret Service.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
What do you think that is? The emasculation of MAGA men once they enter Donald Trump's orbit is something that I think psychologists will study forever. I mean, it's total emasculation.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I immediately knew that this was not true, that this was completely, you know, conflated, hyperbola, you know, we're connecting things that shouldn't be connected here. I'm sure he got an okay score, and maybe it was a good score for a 15-year-old. I would bet both of our kids' lives and the French Bulldogs that that child 100% did not make a 100% on the ACT exam.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
It's I know it's, I think it's going to be studied for a long time. Okay. Had it or hit it, the United States of America.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I love, listen, I think this is- Are you a middle child? I'm the youngest.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
No, here's the thing. I feel like fighting for what you believe in and disagreement when you're basically on the same side as healthy people.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That's your final one, but I've heard rumors. I don't know if it's true or not. You don't have to confirm it on this podcast, but I'm going to offer you this, that you might be considering running for office again. And considering our feisty exchange, I will volunteer to be your debate sparring partner. I did win a state in debate my high school year, Westmore High School, home of the Jaguars.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
So I'll volunteer to be your sparring partner. Should you run for public office, you can always come back here and announce it here.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Okay. Bye. All right. Robin manual. I guess you can tell Roman when we get home and call Dylan until it's a mom got in a fight with Robin manual today.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I'll tell you why, Josh. It makes me angry that we are the party of principle. We are the party that has a more educated, forward-facing front, and that we allow MAGA to define us by buying into their narrative. And that's what I felt that he did. And it upsets me. And I think because we have so many listeners of this podcast that I've met when we were on tour that are
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
gay or trans or a person of color who have found a home with us and have found a home in our defense of equality for all.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
When I hear a Democratic leader like Rahm Emanuel, who I like and who it's okay to disagree with, allow MAGA to define our party, I think that's a weakness and I will always stand up, whether it's Rahm Emanuel, the President of the United States, whomever, I had to fight for that.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I also think if you start off your sentence after Trump has won twice, a man who should not be elected. who is a dictator. He's won twice. If you start off with your messaging with, I know some things about winning. Well, maybe you knew some things about winning in a pre-Trump era. But in a post-Trump era, things are different.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And that's where I think people inside the Beltway need to talk to people like you and me and need to do more podcasts and have feisty conversations. Because I think it's going to make for a healthier opposition party to this authoritarian party that's currently in power.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Josh, I want to thank you so much for substituting for the head beaver in charge today.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I just want to ask one more time before we leave. What was on the shoes?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Sequin. Why do you have such a mental block to that? Sequins. Okay, everybody, we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Make sure you subscribe, like, order our merch. See you all then.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
100% on the ACT at 15. Wow. You know, sitting there knowing like that just didn't fucking happen. And I don't even have to get any of the details. You just know everything. that it didn't happen. But this happens a lot where people are telling you something that is so over the top. And then for this kid, knowing his parents and grandparents are perpetuating a bald-faced lie.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And then let's say when it's time for him to take the real ACT, let's say he makes about a 15 on it. He's really going to feel like a dipshit considering everybody contributed and participated in this bald-faced lie going on years about this fake 100%. on the ACT exam.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I recently, one of my habits was hypochondriacs. And I used you as an example and shared with our listener about the earwax situation.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah. And it's always like, it's always a kind of a one upman type thing. It's always like, you can't just, because I think that she had asked me where one of our kids was going to college and I shared it. And then that was the response to it. Instead of just staying with the moment,
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. This is where you're supposed to say I'm Josh.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
You know, you have a lot of stories that our listeners like, particularly our Gaytriots. I think your, you know, epic story about going to Best Buy for manscaping consultation. Manscaping. I think prior to that, some of the Gaytriots were kind of like, is Jennifer's husband gay? But the minute you confess that you went to Best Buy...
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
to receive a manscaping consultation advice from the Best Buy clerk, they were like, that's pretty straight.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
No self-respecting gay man would go to Best Buy for manscaping equipment. And then I think most recently, a lot of our gay triots were really tickled with, remember the shoes you got me for Valentine's Day that I returned? What was it that they had on them?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
All right. All right. I guess that's the thought that counts. And I'll tell you that finding out after 25 years of marriage that you didn't know how to pronounce sequin, that was a little pep in my step that I needed.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Kylie, what is going on on the World Wide Web regarding I've Had It podcast?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah, because you're a neurotic narcissist and he's happy to see neurotic narcissists represented in the media.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
All right, patriots, gay-triots, and day-triots, the donning of a beaver, the HBIC, the head beaver in charge is ill. She is in the fetal position at home and in bed. And so none other than my husband, Josh Welch, America's head metrosexual in charge.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah. Yeah, you are. You are a little, this is a DEI substitution here.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Hooky B. Here's what I have to say to Hooky B. You know, it takes a special person to think that we should personally curate the podcast for you, that you want a podcast full of petty grievances. Meanwhile, the government is weaponizing itself against black people. brown people, gay people, trans people, and women, and you think we're going to sit here and talk about filing our nails all day?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That is as insulting as it is selfish on your part. And you might as well have just given us a one star. I don't want the three. You can go fuck yourself.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
Yeah, and I don't mind a one-star review based on our performance, but it sounds like her three-star review is based on that she wants us to believe the way she believes, and then she would like us. And this is the inherent – and I would go out on a limb and say that's a white woman. And this is the inherent problem with white women right now. And we've talked about this on the podcast before.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
You have black women who voted 90% for Kamala, Jewish women – obviously white, voted around 90% for Kamala. White women like the beaver in me, you know, you have a split and you have these women that have this princess syndrome that think everything in the world should be personally curated for them and handled for them.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
And that kind of shit, I've totally had it with that kind of princess syndrome.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
I mean, the only thing I can say is that at least the reviewer understands that calling someone MAGA – is a critique and is a criticism. That's the only thing. There's a slight bit of unintended self-awareness in that because she's trying to insult us by calling us MAGA. So at least there is some sort of negative connotation. Yeah, probably unintended on their part.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
But I have some news stories I want to share. All right, the first one is, breaking up is harder for men than women, research reveals. Research shows that men often struggle more than women after a breakup, both emotionally and psychologically.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
While women are more likely to seek support and process their feelings through conversation, many men tend to internalize their pain, leading to deeper emotional distress.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
What do you think about, like you're a guy from rural America, a town of 5,000 people.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
That I'm sure is just a hotbed of MAGA activity. That's right. Your hometown of Hugo, Oklahoma.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
It was before you came out of the closet with your sea queens.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
But I mean, don't you think you're kind of a little bit of a hypochondriac?
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
But what's your take on, like, there's this whole movement when you see, like, Trump and And J.D. Vance and Elon Musk and Joe Rogan trying to act like they're so macho, like overly talking about how masculine they are and how men are under attack. What's your take on that? Having just where you are now as a metrosexual, sexual sea queen wearing man that just discovered sexism.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Christmas ornaments, talking Trump fish, all sorts of crazy shit. It's so trashy. We have like white trash president. It's humiliating. It's embarrassing. And I just want everybody to know we will not pre-surrender. They will have to drag us off in cuffs. We will never give up our first amendment right. And we will bash this motherfucker until our dying days. Starting with this makeup.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
All right, I have some news I would like to share with the class today. People who enjoy dark humor are smarter and more emotionally stable, study says. According to a study, fans of dark humor tend to have higher education levels, lower aggression, and better emotional regulation. Why? Because understanding this type of humor is no simple task. It takes abstract thinking and
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
emotional intelligence, and the ability to process contradictions. Dark humor often combines satire, sarcasm, and irony weaving together deeper social or cultural commentary. And I love dark humor so much.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah. And I would argue that our listeners, because we provide a lot of dark humor, I think listeners, what we are doing here is confirming that we are all, it says here, smarter and more emotionally stable.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
You know? Well, I mean, yeah. When you see somebody like Marjorie Taylor Greene say that Democrats are controlling the weather, you think, is she fucking with us? Right. Is Ashton Kutcher about to come in and tell us we're getting punked and she's actually a congresswoman? Or you hear Moses Mike Johnson talk about, yeah, God's waking me up every night. Tell me I'm Moses.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And you're like, he's joking, right? No, they're dead serious. So sometimes I think it is difficult to know. But like the onion... They're great. Oh, my God. It's so funny. I love it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Listener, we have a guest today. You probably know her or have heard of her. If you haven't, we'll introduce you to her. Her name is Mel Robbins. She is an award-winning podcast host, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most followed and sought-after experts in mindset, behavior change, and life improvement. Anyway, let's welcome to I've Had It, Mel Robbins.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay, let's welcome to I've Had It, Mel Robbins. Mel, how are you today? Today, I'm actually really good. How are you two doing?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
let's start let's start dissecting those one by one let's what have you had it with today i'll tell you i i'd like to hone in on this narcissistic behavior okay let's go because i'm very um reminded of it all of the time and segueing over to the first thing you mentioned which was the headlines and the headlines perfectly dovetail into narcissistic behavior and i don't know
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
okay so let me just give you a hypothetical here get it we have a narcissist in our lives that is in charge of around 330 million people and by your logic we have to quote let him but that puts us in a precarious position because then we feel like we're pre surrendering to this person's demands and normalizing it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And so our listeners and pumps in me have a lot of anxiety and stress surrounding what's going to happen to us and particularly more marginalized people than us and feel like forming a rebellion, a community to commiserate and empower one another is a way to combat this.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I mean, that's bad. There is nothing more terrifying than sending a text to the wrong person. Oftentimes during the day, I have my texts pulled up on my desktop or on my laptop because then I can use full 10 digits to fire off texts from my keyboard. So I'm looking at an email, looking at a website, texts are right there.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
So how do you take your prescription and put it on a large scale where the narcissist is in charge of a lot of things for a lot of people? And it's very terrifying. Can you help us and our listeners?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
What does it say about us that we enjoy? commiserating about it, that I kind of get a dopamine and serotonin hit going off about it. What does that reveal about pumps in me?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Oftentimes you see one come in and you just respond, but you're not in the right thread. Yeah. So I haven't had anything that bad, but there have been some that I've sent and then I just like, I'm like, oops, sorry about that. That was intended for another thread.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I really like the phrasing, let them and let me. And I can relate to it very much so because my husband is a recovering drug addict and he's been to rehab five times. And that was very challenging. We had very small children at the peak of a lot of this. So I would go to Al-Anon and their phrasing was, let go, let God. Well, I'm an atheist. And so I was like, oh, God.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
So I'm like, let go, let God, what the fuck is he gonna do? You know, that was my mindset. But I remember, and it takes a long time to let them, to let go. It takes a long time for that to sink in because intellectually, I understood that his crazy train took off from the station long before I jumped on it and I was a mere passenger and that I had the power to jump off.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
You know, in the early stages, You have children and it felt very unnatural when you have really small children. It's almost like we're genetically encoded. It felt very unnatural to think about separating from him. And he wasn't an abusive addict. I mean, addicts by nature, what they do is and feels abusive. Josh really...
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
had just a horrible opioid addiction and he was aware of it and always constantly tried to get better but opiates kind of get their claws in you and it's very very difficult for people to overcome it and i wanted to believe in him i also think that i was damaged too i mean that was you know damaged people choose damaged people and so i had to work on myself but it takes a really long time because intellectually somebody can understand let them but
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
But your heart has different plans. And finally, I realized that I achieved a level of personal growth where my intellect and my heart were simpatico, where they were moving at the same time. Because for a solid decade, Mel, I was a catastrophe. Intellectually, I understood all of it. Here is a peak, peak crazy moment for me. I was on the phone with a friend of ours named Libby.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And I'm telling her on the phone. He is such a disaster. And my husband's in rehab at the time. I'm not going to speak to him anymore. I am drawing a boundary. I have had it. I'm not going to put up with his shit anymore. Yack, yack, yack, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, you go, girl. You got this. I go, hang on. Somebody's calling me on the other line. I look over and I go, I got to let you go.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
It's Josh. And I clicked over. So that's a prime moment where my intellect, I knew what I needed to do. But the minute I saw him, my heart just, you know, it was just too impulsive. And so it's really difficult to get those two things aligned. And I know that this is something from the program where they say fake it till you make it. But I literally kind of had to do that.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I had to practice letting him, like realizing no matter what I did, he was a broken drug addict. And that was his life. I didn't have anything to do with that. It just took such a long time for me to get over it. He's sober now. We're as happy as every other married couple, which is miserable.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah. You know, it happens. That might have been a hashtag blessed blessing because now this person that you didn't like knows for sure. We don't like each other. Yeah. And you don't have to feign kindness. Right. It's just like she trashed me in the group text. I hate her. She hates me. We're done. Right. There's something tidy, clean and respectable about that.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Oh, it isn't even comparable. And I'll tell you, sometimes Josh and I will sit up at night, and we have a son that's a senior in college at Syracuse, and our youngest son is about to graduate from high school. And they're like much better people than Josh and I are. Josh and I are shallow, vapid, pretentious, love to go shopping and just do a lot of frivolous things.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Our kids are, they thrift, they go thrifting and they are just really good human beings. And I'll look at him and I'll say, it's good to know that all of that shit that we went through and by never, we never lied to our kids. I never lied to them about what was going on. I told them age appropriate responses as to what was going on with their dad.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I never picked up the rug and swept it under because I know how much anxiety that would have caused them. And I never bad mouthed their dad because there were stints where he just couldn't live with us because he was too off the rails. And I would say, you need to leave. I don't want the kids to see you like this. But I never bad mouthed him to the kids. And I fucked up so many things, Mel.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
But the one thing that I'm like, you can put on her tombstone, she never called him a son of a bitch to the kids. And I could have, but I knew that that would damage them because, yeah, he was a son of a bitch, as is every other addict. They all are when they're in peak, you know, addict mode. But I agree with you. You know, it's good to... Can I just highlight that?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Well, and I want to tell the listeners, because I know probably a lot of people have a husband or wife or parent that's an addict, and I know how difficult it is. And as we're saying, you know, I did this one thing right, and I did do this one thing right, but nothing about this time period was attractive. My behavior, all in all, wasn't the most attractive.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Where I failed is oftentimes I had a hard time emotionally interacting connecting with my children. So I would turn on auto mom and make sure they had food in front of them. Their lunches were packed. And if the house burned down, I would remove them from it. I wasn't capable of doing a lot of things beyond this. I was sleepless. I wanted to pull my hair up by the root. I could barely eat.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I mean, it was a very traumatic time. But I think for any listener listening to this, when you find yourself in these situations, you have to everything, your thoughts and everything are so scattered. You have to pick a few truths that you can hold the line and your love for a child. For me, it could supersede my most toxic instincts.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I mean, if you say it, especially being the world-class attorney that you are, you're not going to slander yourself in some tech stream unless, in fact, she was cheap and obnoxious. Yeah. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I have had it with my cat. And, listener, I just have to go through this with you all again because – Pumps is aware of some of it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And so thank you because I did a lot of other fucked up stuff during that time period. I mean, I launched investigations. I followed him. I broke into phone records. I did all sorts of FBI investigations. Of course. But I spared you kids.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
All right, Mel. Now we are going to lighten it up and play a game called had it or hit it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
All right. Had it or hit it being the bigger person? Oh, hit it. I mean, I get here intellectually. I agree. It's always good to be the bigger person. And I like to look up at that high road and think about me up there in a big puffer going, it's so cold up here on the high road. But sometimes when we're on our other podcast where it's about politics, we kind of take the low road.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I think that's really good. I agree with that. Sometimes, though, I think... Sometimes I went low and I want to go lower.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Y'all aren't aware of all of it. But I have the cat. She's female. Her name is Kitsky. And we adopted the cat. We had hashtag adopt, didn't shop. I adopted the cat for my children because I had another cat that hated the children and loved me. And so I got this cute little black and white cat named Kitsky. She's had a lot of problems. We've had asthma. Asthma is in remission. We had diabetes.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I think that when you start doing for kids, what they should do for themselves. You are giving them a subliminal message. I don't think you're capable or able to do this. And I think it's self-esteem reducing for a child whose mother always does everything for them. And a lot of the kids that I know whose mothers do everything for them have debilitating anxiety.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I always tell my sons when they're disappointed, I know you're disappointed, but this is adult practicing. Being an adult is very disappointing. It is managing your disappointments every day to where then you're like, oh, on a disappointment scale, this is 0.5. I got this all day long. I love that. Yeah. And so it's just managing disappointment.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And I'm like, I'm sorry, but just get ready because adulthood is full of disappointments.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Diabetes was in remission. Diabetes comes back. Diabetes goes back into remission again. Well, just the other day, last week, as a matter of fact, Pumps and I are at lunch and the mobile veterinarian swung by my house to do her checkup. quote, senior blood work because she is like 16 or 17 years old. And they called me while Pumps and I were dining to give me the update on her blood work.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I feel like I have this brand where I said I've had it with manifesting and I kind of have to be that asshole, but I'm going to put it under consideration. Mel Robbins, this has been a real treat. I feel like you could be in our thruple.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
This has been so much fun. It was lovely to meet you. And thank you so much for coming on our podcast.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Here's what I think the problem is, is when people think they can make a mood board and then all of a sudden all of these material possessions are going to appear for them. That's where they're skirting the system. I'm going to be on Pinterest and I'm making a mood board. I think it's bullshit.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
The way she is explaining it is a little different. Totally different.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Work. Interesting. All right. I think we'll just leave it there. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And it just goes like this. I'm like, hello. And they're like, great news. Kiske's diabetes is still in remission. And I hear Pumps hears them say this and she goes, oh, for fuck's sake. Because everybody knows Pumps wants to kill my cat. And so they go on and on that there's possibly a kidney marker, possibly not. She has arthritis, all of these things, right?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
But the main thing they're zeroing in on is that the cat needs a medical bath because as established on this podcast, she's let herself go and she's not grooming herself. So I said, okay, I consent to the medical bath if you pick her up. Take her somewhere and bathe her and then drop her back off. I can't have any part of it. I can't get scratch. I don't want to go the trauma of it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I've got this podcast I've got to record. I just need for you all to do the bath. Fine. No problem.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
She has dandruff. She has cat dandruff. Okay. So vet calls me, hey, I'm going in your house to get the cat. I'll have her back by the time you get home from work. Great. Thanks so much. I say to her, I get home from work and I have a hairless cat. My cat's completely bald. She is, I have a bald cat. I literally have a cat that is in asthma remission, twice diabetes remission.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Used to be a fluffy cat, not like a Persian, but a lot of hair, you know, an American short hair. Now I've got a hairless cat. I've got a hairless fucking cat on my hands here. She's got hair on her face and she has a little ball of hair on her tail. But other than that, she's bald. She's bald.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah. When I came home from work and I hear her going... So I go over to see her and I'm just like, wow, I happened. Medical bath did not in my brain equate to shaving. Right. It must have been bad. I think the vet was just like, fuck it. And then of course it snows for like two days there. So she's freezing and I'm not completely heartless.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I'm going to cover her up, you know, make sure she's all warm. But I just want to take a little stroll down memory lane and, that this cat we adopted in like 2008 and it is a she and her name is kitsky around i would say 2016 17 possibly 18. so we've had the cat well over a decade at this point The mobile vet wasn't able to do everything she needed to do in the house.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
See, this is my worst nightmare with you. It's horrible. I'll be like, oh, my God, look at what such and such post. And you're like, oh, my God, let me see. Let me see. And you're grabbing your glasses. And I just immediately start like cringing, throw in a kegel for good measure. And I'm like, do not double tap at pumps. Pumps do not. I won't. I won't.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
So I told Josh, I'm slammed today. I need for you to drop that cat off at the vet. And here's the address. And you'll have to fill out the paperwork for her. So again, I just want to remind everybody, Kitsky and a she. And at this point, we've had the cat for over 10 years. The vet calls us and leaves this voicemail. Kylie, play it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And also to let you know that we're going to... Okay, so I just want to say that all Josh had to do was walk in and fill out the paperwork. Right. That it was a female and the cat's name was Kitsky. And he reported the cat as Katsky and as a male. So the vet called us to tell us that our female cat that everybody bloody well knew was a female was in fact a female.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Okay. So I had to leave the day that they came that led up to the bath. I had to leave super early in the morning. So I left around 7. Josh probably left around like 8.30 that morning. And the mobile vets coming into the house and they're like, hey, we're here to check on Kitski. Any improvements? What's going on? How's her, you know, how's the diabetes? How's the asthma?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And Josh goes, I'm just going to stop everybody right there. I don't know anything that's going on with that cat. I don't know if she's better. I don't know if she's worse. I don't know if she's okay. I don't know if she's not okay. I just live here with her. And the vets were kind of like, okay. Okay. So yeah. And then I came home that night. We all came home to a hairless cat.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I have a hairless cat. You do. And here's the thing. Like, I keep thinking one of these senior blood work checks is going to come back. We've got stage five cancer. I don't even know if there is a stage five. I think it only goes to four. Right. But I'm thinking that's what we're about to get.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I will note to you the exact year ago, senior checkup, blood work checkup, we did have a kidney issue. And I believe now that's in remission.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Ready? One, two, three. All right, listen up. This is the rebellion. And what we say here is patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. That's right.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I'm curious if now she's going to get hypothermia because she's hairless. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She wants to kill my cat. See, I feel like that's strong.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Let me say it for go strangle the cat. Let me tell you what the kids on the internet say. What? Pumps wants me to unalive my cat.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Do you remember the movie A Few Good Men? Did you order the code red? I would say I did order. Did you order the code red? Yeah. Pumps ordered the code red.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Pumps has ordered a Code Red on Kitsky, who's now fucking hairless.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I really feel bad for her. I think she's kind of embarrassed now that she doesn't have hair. She's naked. And knowing that Pumps ordered the Code Red.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
You know what you're supposed to say, Jack Nicklaus. You're goddamn right I did. No, you're goddamn right. Yes. Say it again.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
What about Jack Nicholson in Here's Johnny? I haven't seen that movie before. Okay.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
my gosh that's like the nicest thing ever and it's so well done I mean that is like an ode that's what I was just gonna say it's like an ode it's an ode to us and I don't know I mean you ordered the code red but you still get that much love I know that's how dynamic and magnanimous you are that's why you're the star of the show thank you David Franklin yes thank you so much that is amazing to take the time and the care and the creativity it's just that is love
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I thought it was breathtaking. It really is. It really is breathtaking. Any reviews?
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
You know, that just, I love that review. Thank you very much for the five stars. And I just want to revisit for just a second that the incoming president of the United States runs a flea market on the internet. And it's full of riffraffs and knickknacks. And that just, there are so many things to focus on that are so immoral sometimes. and awful and depressing and daunting to think about.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
So sometimes I just grab something that just I can completely wrap my hands around. And I'm like, the president of the United States that told everybody, I'm a billionaire. I don't have to beg people for money. I'm so rich. I'm so hot. I'm so tan. I have great hair. Yak, yak, blah, blah. Literally runs an online flea market where he sells Bibles, cologne,
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gaytriots, Theytriots, Blacktriots. Excellent. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And you see it both coded overt and covert on Fox News. But in a personal place, you know, in our own communities, we can start to stand up and say – You can't say that kind of shit around me. You can go to your right wing media echo chamber, free base on Fox News, get your Facebook white supremacist group, go to your white Christian nationalist church. But around me, I do not demean black people.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
What you said is racist and unacceptable. And I think you have to go further than appropriate. It's unacceptable. I like unacceptable better. I think you're right. You know? Yeah. Because people like you and me, Pumps, are in positions where we're rounded. Oh, yeah. You know? There's no doubt about that.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And letting those people feel that sting a little bit are ways that we have to take back hold of the narrative that we support equality for all.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And you're – Everything you said is spot on because everything seems so overwhelming by design, what Trump is doing, flooding the zone. And this is what authoritarian plays do. You know, they leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. And so many people in comment section and we get emails and DMs about what can we do, what can we do more of.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Maybe, you know, there's not enough protests right now, sadly, but we all have to work and Trump's economy. And but these are ways that that you can help advocate on a personal level face to face when somebody says, you know, something racist or homophobic. You know, it's just and draw a boundary like I'm not going to be racist.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
If you continue this type of language, too, I'm not going to be around you. It's just it's a deal breaker. It's a you've revealed a moral flaw that goes beyond politics for me. That is just leads me to believe that we are not compatible.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
This is just another piece of evidence. To my long held theory that all of this, the Stanley cups, oversized water bottles, it's all bullshit. It's all performative. It's all new. It's a capitalist fetish thing where people are fetishist. How big can my water bottle be that I carry around when everything else we're trying to make small, but that people want it to be gigantic.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
No, the data actually shows that what you're saying is correct. So there was a poll in 2018 that asked a group of 18 to 24-year-olds, do you believe that women and men should be paid the same? Over 70% said yes. That was just 2018, seven years ago. They did the same poll, same sample size now. And it dropped from the high 70s to the mid 40s. Wow.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
So not only is that something you're hearing, it's something the data is proving and it's because they have created, the right wing has created the manosphere because if you look at Trump's approval ratings, the people who buy it the least are women. When you get into white women, some white women are all chips in when a dry hump the flag with Trump and some weird fucked up twisted menage a trois.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's their problem, right? But educated white women, he's minus 38, minus 38. So there is an active attack on educated white women having jobs, having agency, having independence in the same way that they attack black people and LGBTQ plus and immigrants. And that's why I get so frustrated.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And I know you share in that frustration with white women who have jobs and who are excelling because of liberal white women before them that paved the way. And so there is this is intentional. It is an intentional attack because they're eliminating any parts of the electorate that are not favorable to them. And they have built this massive power. media echo chamber in which to do it.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And then you have people like Andrew Tate. Oh, and what's that dipshit? Charlie Kirk that goes to colleges. Right. It's intentional. It's intentional to get white boys and young men to feel like they are under attack. And then it takes the eye off the ball. Why can't you afford a house? Why aren't you making as much money? Right. Well, it's not because of women. It's not because of minorities.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It's not because of drag queens. It's not because of trans people. It's because the generations before you have rigged the system. minimum wage is not raised, and you have a bunch of boomers and Gen Xers that just drool over their 401ks all the time, freebasing Fox News. Don't give a shit about the planet and the way they leave it or what generations do unless they share DNA with that generation.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's it. Again, the movement stands for nothing. Stands for absolutely nothing. This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com, I find a place to stay in the U S I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
insane the grandstanding and performing about drinking water like it's new or novel and then the people who talk about hydration and being hydrated like it's a new thing and it's like it's not new it's just that we've all been drinking all these sugary drinks and now we have this huge obesity problem and then people are like oh maybe we should drink what our bodies are made of
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Okay. So yes, Kylie, this video I sent to you because I thought pumps America's greatest legal mind would get such a kick out of it. So this is a guy, a judge and a defendant who's signing in for court and they're doing like a digital court hearing via zoom, which I think has been a lot more common post COVID. So this is the interaction with the judge and then the defendant play the clip.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Well, I don't know if he saw his or not, whether it's Zoom or maybe it's some court system internal thing. Right, but why would that ever be on there? Whatever it was, he had made his username as ButtFucker3000, inadvertently logged back into that same thing, and the judge is seeing him as ButtFucker3000. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
There was a CNN. I forget. He was a CNN legal expert. Jeffrey Toobin. Yes. And he's just on some Zoom and just, you know.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And that you couldn't wait till the Zoom was over. That's what I'm saying.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It's not new. It's not a new thing. What's new is all of the people that have a fetish about it. And they're fetishists. And I guarantee you the guy was MAGA. I guarantee it. Oh, a hundred percent. I could tell by looking. Okay. I'm going to tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I mean, during- Jack off to high heaven. During COVID, my kids have since revealed to me. So when the schools were shut down, they had to log in and do digital school all the time. They each made a loop of themselves, looking at the camera, looking down, typing, making a note. And it was about a three minute long loop. And then they ran it on repeat.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And so they logged into class and then put this video of themselves up, looking like they were engaging in everything. Meanwhile, everybody in the class had done the same. They're all over playing video games.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I thought it was pretty innovative. Had he told me that in the time, I'd have been like, that's, you know. You can't do that. But since then, they've told me. And when Roman did that, he was in seventh grade. So if a seventh grader can figure out how to fake being on a Zoom. Right. And you've got some legal expert over there beating off and butt fucker 3000 signing into court in front of a judge.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah. And the seventh graders had this shit all figured out on COVID, how to skirt the system and not listen to, you know, your teacher drone on and on about equations or history or whatever. Right. I mean, if a seventh grader can do it effectively, these people should be able to. Exactly. Okay. What's next, Kylie? Is it me? It's you. Okay. All right. Okay.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I found this story and I want to read it to you all. Japanese has been finally talked to his wife after giving her the silent treatment for 20 years. A Japanese man made headlines in 2017 after ending a 20 year silence with his wife. And they also lived together the entire time. O2 Katayama stopped speaking to his wife Yumi after feeling she gave more attention to their children than to him.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Though Yumi continued trying to talk to him, O2 only responded with nods or grunts. Despite the silence, the couple stayed together. had another child and maintained their home all without verbal communication. The couple's children grew up never hearing a single conversation between their parents.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Their son, Yoshiki, then 18, said he had never once seen them talk, a silence that defined their family life. Eventually, he reached out to a Japanese TV show for help. Producers arranged for O2 and Yumi to meet at Nara Park, the same place where they had their first date. In a quiet, emotional moment, O2 finally spoke. He says, somehow it's been a while. You were so concerned about the kids.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I've had it with, obviously it goes back to airports and air travel, but I've been traveling a lot lately and I'm at the airport and you're like in your boarding group and
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I was kind of jealous. I was sulking about it. He went on to thank her for her patience, expressing regret and a desire to talk more moving forward. You know, that's what I have to say to you, Mia, is be careful what you wish for.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Would you rather be married to to a yak mouth for 20 years, or what was his name? O2.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Would you rather be married to O2 or your ex-husband? O2. Okay. I have a question for you. I noticed that your children, of course, I follow them on Instagram. One of them posted a graduation photo. Right. So it's you, your ex-husband, and the kids. Okay. It was very nice. It was a lovely photograph. But I couldn't help but notice that you and your ex-husband were wearing matching shirts.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
and you're kind of like parallel with somebody we're not in a row you're kind of parallel waiting for them to call your group so they call your group and you got some man typically middle-aged white dude and i start to take a step and he takes a step and we're still parallel and somebody's gonna have to give the last probably six flights i've been on by myself
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And I wanted to know, did y'all coordinate this? Do great minds think alike? Did y'all have a conversation about it? I want to go over all the details. Did anybody point out that y'all were dressed alike? I want to know all of the details about you twinning with your ex-husband.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Well, I can certainly understand that because I kind of zoomed in on the photo. I spent quite some time on it after double tapping the heart.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Okay. What did your ex say to you about it and tell us all of the interaction you had with him?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
in a row. Maybe there's stuff still left on the table. Love is in the air. Kylie, let's now hear what any of our callers are saying.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Bye. Okay, Jay, I think that's so spot on. And Jesse Waters' pursuit in confirming his heterosexuality and masculinity, we too here feel like it is a huge red flag. But having your personal story added that you specifically, the things he said, you did those exact same things before you came out.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I give because I'm like, we're all going to get on the plane at the same time. It's going to land at the same time. We're all going to get off. And I know that my resting heart rate is a lot lower than yours. And we get off the plane. I can, I could lap you in the airport on the way to baggage claim.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Just another tool in our toolbox here to help understand the psychology behind the abusive trauma that he projects onto his viewers. And I will die on this hill. I believe that so many men in the MAGA movement. have been turned on or aroused by a penis before. I'm not saying they're gay, but I'm saying there has been some porn watching, some bi-curious, maybe some are closeted.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But I agree with you, Jay. They need to come out. And it's just horrifically sad that the Jesse waters of the world earn millions of dollars and Rupert Murdoch earns billions of dollars at your expense. And that is something I will never stop fighting for is equality for the LGBTQ plus community.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I know I'm in better shape as evidence from my tennis career and pickleball that we've talked about previously on the podcast. So I always seed and the men usually used to, they would let the lady go first. Right. Not anymore. And so I'm like, it's okay. You can go ahead. And they just, they don't say thank you.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah. 20 fun. Like 30 and flirty. Yeah. Yeah. Lordy, lordy, lacuse 40. You know, it's just all this stupid slapstick narcissism. I mean, it's just the birth over the top birthday celebrations for adults are just more than I can take. I mean, of course, if it's your birthday, if it's Kylie's birthday, I... I want to say happy birthday. I'm so glad, you know, send a nice message.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But when the, when the person who was having the birthday does a lot of posts advertising about it and making poetry and making up words and making, replacing numbers with words, what we have here is just pure, unadulterated narcissism and ego.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
They, it's just like, they just dart to the line and I'm just walking on behind these little smug pricks and they've always got muffin top, you know, right. Barreling out over their jeans, you know, just look like hammered dog shit. And I think, I hope you liked that. I hope you liked that. I let you go first.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It's just, I get like when it is somebody's birthday and they post, like I saw somebody post the other day and it was their birthday and they are in a bikini and it's like... I'm 48. This body has made kids. This body has changed poopy diapers. This body has gotten divorced this body. And it was like, it was the most self-centered and the woman had a great body, right?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
There's no question about it, but she made her birthday post the most ridiculous, overt, humble brag you've ever seen in your life. It was like, I'm 48 in this body, you know, and that shit is all over the internet. And it's just like, I would just appreciate and respect it a million times more if you just posted the picture of yourself and put, you know what? It's my birthday.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I think I look really hot for 48. I would be like, double tap. But going through the battles and the journeys of the childbirth and the, it's just, oh, another thing, the point it made is like, this body is seen many hours in the gym, you know, grunt, sweat and tears. It's just, it was like she had been off at fucking war. Like she had fought a war and had just returned home in a bikini.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Next time you come across one of those. I will. Kylie, I need to see this. Of course, I'll. Of course, I read it twice. I'll see if I can go back and find it. It was hilarious. This body. This body. And then, of course, the people, their enablers are like, oh, my God, you look amazing, which is what she wanted. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Maybe the thing is she should have post herself in a bikini and say, I'm feeling insecure today. I'm 48. Please tell me how hot I am below. Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And then sure enough, I'm sitting around the person and I always make sure to let them off first. Really? Always. Because I want to prove that I can walk faster. Like eat my dust. Totally. I'm like, yeah, you, you, you jockey, you just get neck to neck in there, big boy. You get your Eagle shirt on with the grenade and I'm a big boy and all your stuff. And let's see what happens in the jet bridge.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Or just write happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. With a photo of yourself. Yeah. But the reach arounds and trying to some Starbucks mom. Sitting there acting like her body has been through a fucking war in back. When she has had the luxury of being able to hire personal trainers, top notch medical care, a husband that funded her bank account so that she could do all of those things.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And then to post at 48, all that her body had been through, I found incredibly rich and narcissistic.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I agree with her. I didn't realize how loud and obnoxious Americans were until you travel abroad. And then it is just like, oh my God, we as a culture are so loud and me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Like there's no self-awareness that other diners might not want to hear you speak so loudly. And I noticed it when I traveled abroad. I was like, fuck, Americans are so loud.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's why I always try to have more self-awareness about other people, like when we're out and about or like walking down the hallways and hotels. It's always fucking Americans. Always just, I'm here in this hallway now, so I get to be as loud as I want to. And it goes back to the whole Americans, it's we preach, teach, and covet individualism. Europeans, it's about collectivism.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It's about all living together. And America, like from birth, we're taught you are an individual and you are unique. You are the best you there has ever been. Yeah. You are the best version of you. And here's the deal, kids. You're not that unique. You're another person whose parents raw dogged and you're just trying to get through this shit show called life like the rest of us.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
You're probably the worst version of you and you could do a million times better by shutting the fuck up and quit screaming at the restaurant table. How about that? How about quit telling everybody how unique they are? I don't think that's helpful. I think it's damaging. I bet they don't do that in Europe.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
It's game on. And I mean, I, and then I say behind you passing on the left. And I just blaze right past him. So you second under on the jet bridge immediately, not even in there. And I let them know, like, pardon me, like you wanted to get off this plane first. You you had to be a dick and couldn't be gracious and let the lady go first in the boarding. That's fine. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
No, even just beyond the trope of the participation trophies, just the language that's always used with kids in the toxic positivity culture. You are the best version of you. You are so unique. You are so special. And it's like, For a kid to hear that all the time and you go home and your mom's an alcoholic and your dad's a total piece of shit, you're probably thinking like, really?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I am guilty. You are. See, and I think that's a part of that. My mom, one thing I'm going to say she was really good at is she would always say, don't worry about what other people think about you because everybody's always thinking about them. Yeah. Right. Here to me in my eye, you're special. But when you get out in the world, get ready.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah, she did a very good job kind of prepping me to not think that I was hot shit. Surprisingly, that didn't help any sense of narcissism that I suffered from in my 20s, despite her best efforts.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But I tell you, she really tried to curtail it. And I just, I found that. And I mean, I lived in that for a solid decade. Some listeners would probably argue I'm still there.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Are you going to be a dick again and let me let you off the plane before me? Which, of course, he did entitled. Right. And then and then I've just I've turned it into a thing where I'm like, all right, let's see how fast you are, big boy. Do they even try to catch up or do they just kind of, you think, secretly embarrassed?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And oftentimes for the offender, it's cathartic. Right. To apologize. It prompts enlightenment and growth just to sit in it. And even if you think the person is overreacting, but I think one of the worst things that people do, like when somebody says, that hurts my feeling. And instead of the person saying, I am so sorry, is that you're overreacting. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
You know, minimizing that person's pain. And here's the situation, listener. Sometimes the person is overreacting. But if they want the apology, you give them the apology, then you just start a full-on ghost. You just start drawing boundaries. You realize this friend is going to be high maintenance. Too much. Too much. Yeah. But in general, you know, if you and I are both really good at this,
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
If I hurt somebody's feelings or have offended them in some way and they come to me, my immediate reaction is, I am so sorry. Right. Yes. And I try not to qualify. No, ifs, ands, or buts, just I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Right. And that's the end. Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Okay, listen, that's all we have for today in Trump's America from America's Top DEI Podcast. Listen to me, listener. It is super important. One of the biggest things you all can do to fight the fascist autocratic takeover is is you yourself engage in left leaning media and encourage your friends to follow and engage in left leaning media.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
The right wing for many decades has built a media empire, which has led to the twice elected Donald Trump, who is. systemically and systematically trying to take away your rights and dismantle our entire way of life. And it is so important that you tell everybody that yeah, you can still watch cat videos. Yeah, you can still watch a little bit of porn.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I don't even know if they even track all that as much as it is like this juvenile thing to be first. Right. Like I like to stand up soon after the plane lands, but that's for my circulation. It's not because I want to beat others off the plane. It's because I don't like my blood sitting without moving for very long.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But you've got to take time out of your day to engage in left-leaning media. There's us and there's a whole lot of others, but they outnumber us by a long shot. And we will never take this country back and have equality for all until everybody gets that and values that. And this is just... Being apolitical right now is a luxury only afforded to the 1%. The rest of us, we've got to engage.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And these are little daily micro ways that you can engage to help save the democracy. All right. We have a book coming out. Life is Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. Please click the link in bio. I still have not walked this book up here. I've got to get an assistant. I can run down and cook it. All right. I will. We will see you all later. Pumps tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcasts and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm caca that's it that's that's caca that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And I know that's weird, but I read this article years ago in People Magazine about some woman who was flying to Cancun or something or another, and she got a blood clot in her leg.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And like it's set there. And I know I accused Josh of being a hypochondriac. And I totally admit that I'm being a hypocrite right now. But I do have a blood clot prevention plan wherein I like to stand up immediately, kind of rotate my ankles, shake my legs off a little bit to prevent said blood clots that I read about in the great medical journal People Magazine. Well, absolutely. And so...
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah. So I always just want to blaze past it. But now my new thing is just let them all go first. Let them all go first because it's game on in the jet bridge. It's fucking game on.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Because here's the thing. If you're going to be a dick... And you're going to have to needle in to the line to board early. And then you're going to have to needle in to get off early. You better be in. You must be in a huge hurry. You must be.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
No, in the jet bridge, it is lollygag on the phone, texting this person that was in a huge hurry to board, huge hurry to get off the plane, doesn't even have the decency to take it over the finish line and walk quickly and briskly off the jet bridge. So my intention is to humiliate immediately in the jet bridge. Do you feel really like, ha ha, motherfucker, when you pass them?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I just feel like, I mean, I just feel like, you know, I'm just riding with the wind, you know, just like eat my dust, MF-er. Sadly, he probably doesn't even know what's going on. So listener, I've had it with that. But, you know, it's conflict resolution, conflict resolution.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
My conflict is with these, you know, just assholes in the airport that can't be gracious because they're in such a goddamn hurry. And then they get off and they lollygag. So then I'm going to say eat my dust, MFers.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
So anyway, that's just how that's how I've handled that. And it makes me feel better. And it makes me cope with traveling with the general public a little better, like an internal competition that I created. Well, and it also goes to your athletic prowess. Thank you for pointing that out.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yep. Got a tennis match today at 1 p.m. I will be ripping forehands. So you can come watch, Pumps. That is such a gracious offer. I've invited her, listener, to come watch my tennis lessons slash match multiple times. And much to my surprise, she always says no. Right. I actually have a conflict to have a workout at that time. Oh, at the gym, jockeying for the... Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
See, here's what you can do in that situation. Okay, good. I need hints because I was so mad. I would just say, oh my God, I forgot my cap. I forgot my big cup. Can you hang on just a second, sir, before you go back and just fill up about 10 little cups and help him carry you over to your weight machine and then just shoot him like Jägermeister. I mean, just go down and just shoot him.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
All right, welcome to I've Had It, America's top DEI podcast, the most mature podcast in America.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yes, and we have a lesbian hire because we traffic in DEI at all times. Kylie, I'd like for you to start adding your pronouns to your email signature stamp. I haven't noticed that. And so I'd like for you to please specify your pronouns moving forward.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Listen up. Listen up, Magga. You, the planes may be crashing and we might not have enough air traffic controllers, but by God, nobody in the government is signing their email. She, her, you triggered little things.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Well, no, of course not, because... I mean, they're so triggered by the easiest things on the planet, the whole dismantling of the DEI is because MAGA got triggered by pronouns. That you're that petty and insecure as an individual that pronouns, words, trigger you. So much so that you want people fired and you want major components of American safety in government to be dismantled. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah. Jesse Waters, Greg Gutville, don't worry. I mean, have you ever seen two more triggered men than those two? No. I mean, they are just the biggest titty babies I've ever seen. I mean, every night how easily triggered they are. over pronouns and all sorts of stuff. And they don't stand for anything. Like nothing. It's like Rush Limbaugh.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
When he died, nobody ever talks about him anymore because he didn't stand for anything. He stood for nothing. Zero conviction. Right. Zero.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Right. Right. They don't stand for anything. All that's just bullshit that makes them feel masculine for 0.5 seconds. Right. Well, beating up other people, that's their brand.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I mean, the Confederate... And this is, again, this is something that a hill they will die on, a war they lost... a war that was lost, they will continue flying the flag. And they do that because there's a specific breed of white people that constantly want to remind black people, we're here and we're not ever letting you get to the same place that we're standing on.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And it is systemic, it is insidious, and it is so horrific. And I remember... In Oklahoma City, when Barack Obama came when he was president to downtown Oklahoma City, there were protests, which I support. But a ton of people had Confederate flags. And Oklahoma wasn't a part of the Confederacy. And I'm sure that was lost on them. And they didn't know that component of history.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
But the purpose of that, Joe Biden wouldn't have been met with a Confederate flag. The purpose of that was because Barack Obama was black. The purpose of that was to say, you, black man. are not welcome here. You might be able to do that in blue cities, but you're not welcome here. And of course it made national news. And I was so embarrassed and I was so humiliated.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And again, I just want to remind so many of our listeners are always asking, what can we do? What can we do more of? Number one, subscribe and help build liberal anti-propaganda media platforms. echo chambers that we can all counteract the right wing propaganda machine with. But number two, on a personal level, if you hear racism, call it out. Silence is violence.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I mean, you bury the lead here. I identified ages ago on this podcast, America's DEI Top Podcast, that a lot of problems in America right now stem around performative hydration.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Allowing, and this goes to a lot of white people, white people are so insidious and always give deference to racists and racist statements and off-color remarks. And I am just a big proponent that all of us have to stop and you don't have to be an ass about it, but just to say, that is incredibly racist and I don't want to hear that, right? It's cruel. It's racist.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Don't use that kind of language in my presence. Put them on the spot immediately because bullies always completely cower and shrink immediately when they're called out.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Right. I do not want to hear racist remarks about other human beings that happen to have a different color of skin than I do. I mean, it's very simple. It's beyond appropriate. I mean, you know, you said that's not appropriate. It's beyond that. It's a human rights issue. It's a moral flaw. It's a moral shortcoming that happens in white circles that, you know, the homophobia and the racism.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I think these things are connected. I don't think we can separate them. Working class people have gay kids. It's not like gay people are just born from billionaires. Working class people are black. Working class people that live in red states that thought they were Republican and evangelical Christians give birth to trans children. And then their preachers start bullying them.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And now their government starts bullying them. These things are connected. Also, I think it's safe to say when we see such an income disparity growing in this country, the working class is marginalized. So all of these rights are linked together because we have marginalized the working class. We cannot separate them. And when Democrats run to the center, We lose.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
We need to stay and make the moral case for being progressive and fighting for marginalized people. And the working class has been marginalized by the Republican Party and lied to election after election by the Republicans. They have marginalized them. They are our people. We fight for them. We're the ones who fight for the minimum wage to be raised unions. And guess what?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I stopped having expectations a long, long time ago. And it's completely liberating. It's just I just now I just assume when I start the day that nobody is going to exceed my expectations. The only person who ever did was Javi. He used to work for us. I mean, he exceeded expectations. He was like a smartphone. He was intuitive. He figured out what needed to be done.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
All these gay people running around the LGBT, the alphabet mafia, as the right wing likes to call them, I guarantee you just from a statistical standpoint, and I'm no mathematician, the majority of them were born from working class parents.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
No. And they, I mean, for the last 10 years, every time he's up on a ballot, he wins and he wins resoundingly and he has built a base. But I mean, we can talk around it or we can go right at it. This is the white supremacist Klingon and the patriarchal Klingon, because now you see women with their own podcasts and microphones and CEOs and
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
you know, fashion designers, business leaders, prime ministers of other countries. You see successful gay comedians on the street. They see these things and it's very threatening to that world order. And, you know, James Carville famously said when he campaigned for Bill Clinton, it's the economy's stupid. And I think for all of us, it is the racism's stupid. That's what it is.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
You have to like that level of recreational cruelty.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
to hear what he said about human beings and calling them animals and saying they're vermin you have to like that in order to vote for it because for us on this podcast right now that is a deal breaker that is a moral we're not crossing over that we see them as human beings should there be rules for the border and for immigration and all of those things nobody's arguing that
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
But to call them animals and wanting to separate toddlers from their parents is just a line I'm not willing to cross. So you have to like that. There is an appetite for this recreational cruelty in this country, and it is a cancer. And what shocks the shit out of me the most, actually, it doesn't shock me.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
We live in the buckle of the Bible belt, and it's all of these evangelical Christians that like the recreational cruelty the most. They like it the most and they vote for him in the strongest numbers and it fucking pisses me off.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That's where I've been for quite some time. So you're saying start at the bottom of the barrel. After the rehab stints that Josh went through, five listener... I just removed expectations and I realized this is the way to go. To just have zero expectations because human beings are breathtakingly disappointing. Yeah, they are. They will disappoint you. Every time.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I think Bernie does what we were talking about earlier. He connects the working class with civil rights issues. He connects them all together. And that's what we have to do as progressives. We have to take the moral case. to rural America, to suburban America, and say, we morally feel like we need to help sick people and we need to help lift up people out of poverty.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And it's my understanding that your Lord and personal Savior, Jesus Christ, wants to do that. Now, I'm not a religious person, even though I'm trapped here in the Bible belt, but I have found that the most religious people that I know are the most cruel and most anti-Jesus than anybody that lives around me. And the louder they are about it, the meaner they are.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
There is just this inherent cruelty to it. And I think if we can make the case and use their religion and say, your Lord and personal Savior has taught you that you need to help the poor, not be judgmental, not value capitalism over human beings. And that's the problem, too. And that's a good moral case that Bernie Sanders took to everybody. He said, I value human beings over profit.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
The Republican Party values profit over human beings. And at the end of the day, what's going to KO America is going to be that we value individualism and not collectivism. And so we've got to start making this case podcast by podcast. But you brought up Joe Rogan, and I've been thinking a lot about him.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And, you know, it's amazing to me how quickly kind of semi enlightened men that had some gay friends that were fine with their, you know, women, you know, doing whatever they want to do, have been so radicalized back into misogyny. The regressive misogyny is one note that's come out of this election that I haven't heard anybody talk about.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
But as two female podcasters, we get thrown into the manosphere form of Twitter. It is vile. And the regressive misogyny that I'm feeling right now is terrifying.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Just look at the most recent election results. The most disappointing group of human beings on the planet. They saw the same shit that we saw yesterday. And then they went and voted for it. Triple down. Breathtaking.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I don't think that I can be in the listening phase right now.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I feel like if I listened to a triple down tremper and they started the shit, I think I would just look at them and go, fuck you. And turn around and walk off. That's where I am right now. And you're probably right. That's wrong. But... But if that's wrong, Billy, I don't want to be right. I'm fucking done. I don't want to talk to them.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I want to play fuck you politics and quit playing integrity politics. I don't want to have a kumbaya with these people. I want to say fuck you for being a piece of shit.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
You're right. You're right. But this is why I can't run for public office. And I, you know, like this is why I need somebody who can do what you recommended. But I am so angry. I went to play pickleball last night with my friends. And one of my friends is a lesbian. She lives in kind of outside of Oklahoma City with her wife. And she's terrified. She is terrified.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
She's terrified because breeding grounds for MAGA are right here in this red state. They've already trotted out Bibles in public schools. They've trotted out Ten Commandments in classrooms. And people are legally married here, minding their own business, paying taxes, doing all this boring shit that married people do. And all of a sudden, they're the enemy.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And to the people that voted against my lesbian pickleball friends and our lesbian producer and you, I want to look at them in the face and say, fuck you and turn around and walk off. And if that's wrong, then I don't think I want to be right.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I've had it with people that don't know how to spell chick. Like, hey, chick, what's going on? You're a cool chick because I see this often on the Internet and people have confused it and they spell it C-H-I-C. Chic. Which is chic. Right. And I see it all the time. And I'm like, you're saying, hey, chic, chic girl. And I mean, hey, thanks, chick. You're a hot chick.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Sometimes holiday season is upon us and I'm constantly searching for that gift that sparks joy, wonder, delight, and where the receiver says, that is exactly what I wanted.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Listener, Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade or made in the U.S. They have the most meaningful out-of-the-ordinary gifts anywhere.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I'm totally with you on the Christmas stuff. I'm a total atheist, but I love to celebrate my favorite fictional character, birthday boy. I put up two big trees in my house. Outside of my house is lit up like an intercontinental ballistic missile.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I'll send you photos. I mean, I just I go all in. OK, next up. I love it. Had it or hid it. Daylight savings.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And they're saying you're a hot chic. And I just want to go in and just put a little asterisk. And spell it for them correctly, but this has been going on for a long time, the misspelling of chick.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I'm a total morning person, completely annoying. I launch my Wordle results. connections, results, New York Times crossword puzzle. I want that timestamp on there around 5 a.m. So it's just a little mini flex to my friend group, my tennis and pickleball group.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Look at when the sun's out at 8 p.m. when I'm not in Oklahoma. When I'm in other places, I like to see the place for a very long time. But when you live in Oklahoma, when daylight saving happens, I can get home from work around 530. And put on my pajamas, cuddle up with my French bulldogs, and I just don't feel like that much of a loser as I would if it were like 6 p.m. and I was doing that.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
But when I'm traveling, I'm like, y'all have a late dinner? Yeah. Why is the sun going down so early? Yeah. We didn't eat dinner until 8 o'clock in Italy. We were late-nighters. We burned the midnight oil.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Pot down, George Michael. OK, next step. Had it or hit it eating on a first date?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I agree. I think we should build to eating together. I think it's kind of intimate. I think you should build to that. I think I would rather have sex with somebody on a first date than eat with them on a first date.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
All right, listen, first and foremost, Gayatriots.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I completely agree with you. I dated this guy in college. I really liked him. We built up about two, three weeks before we did the deed. We did the deed. He had this really bizarre crooked dick. And that was the end of it for me. I couldn't get past the crooked penis. I could not get past it. And I really liked him. He was funny. He was liberal. He wasn't religious.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
It was like meeting an exotic person in this hellscape that is Oklahoma. He was fantastic. And he had this crooked dick. And I couldn't get past it. So I had to break up with him.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That's right. You're talking to two of them right here.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Totally agree. I completely agree. OK, tell our listener about Mufasa. I'm super excited about this. Tell us about this.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That's why that's why podcasters like us are the big stars now. You just saw those transitions. You can't coach that. You can't teach that.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I am so sorry, Gaytriots, that you have to hear this hate speech regarding hate chicken on this LGBTQIA plus friendly conversation podcast in Trump's America. I apologize for me, Ma. I apologize for it all. She's old. She's old, but I don't think she's a homophobe.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I can't wait to see it. Billy, I feel like I want to be best friends. I know. I went through a lot in this hour. And I just I feel like with the exception of my morning person and you being a night person, I feel like we could be a great throuple.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Oh, thank you so much for coming on. And we're going to keep fighting the good fight. And we want to have you on again for sure. Yes, for sure. Billy Eichner, thank you so much for coming on.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Loved him, loved him, loved him. You know, it makes me feel better as we've done some episodes since Trump won and we continue to build on the community that we've made. And you see that there are these smart, talented, empathetic, yet tough as nails people out in this world, like Billy and others, that we have to keep fighting this fight. We have to be like, fuck you.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
We're going to keep fighting for people, whether you like it or not. God damn it. You triple down Trump supporter, you piece of shit. I'm still going to fight for you, even though you can't fight for yourself. Fuck you. You can thank me later. Like that's the kind of like we're going to help you, but fuck you for getting us in this position.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
But we can't abandon our cause to want to fight for people. That's right. And fight for this country.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That's right. And there's one thing that you did not mention that I think is the most important component to getting through this. What does our blue winged hawk say? After Billy, it says, gah-gah! That's what I'm saying, fucking patriots and gay-triots, they-triots. Let's go. We will see you, wind pumps.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Okay. First of all, I am going to argue that we might be smarter than you because we're not on podcast reviews trolling people. No. OK, I'm just going to say that right out of the gate. It's a possibility for sure. I'm not over on like Jesse Waters giving him reviews. So I'm going to say we are smarter. What was the second part? That they think they need to save you.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
OK, I'm going to push back on that, too, because if we could save people, we would have Madam President right now. OK, so we failed. We failed miserably. We can't save anybody. You're on your own. You're fucked, listener.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That makes me happy. Sounded a little bit saved. I'm sorry. Just juxtaposing that with the other one-star reviewer. Sounds like had a terrible day and the day was saved. That's all I'm saying. Sounds like we met expectations.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Yeah. And in fact, saved the day. I'm just saying that looks like some anecdotal evidence to the contrary of the one-star reviewer. Right. And you know what my favorite thing is? The gold star gay. I love that term. Yes. It's fantastic. Okay. Now I'd like to review some things from the news. This is something that I think is probably one of the smartest things I've ever read.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And I think that they might have gotten inspiration from us since we're going down a narcissistic wind tunnel today in Trump's America. American Airlines is testing boarding technology that audibly shames people who cut the line. Oh. The technology alerts gate agents with an audible sound for everyone to hear if a passenger tries to scan a ticket ahead of their assigned group.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And what I have to say to you, American Airlines, is you deserve a profile in courage.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I'm for it. I think American Airlines is going to be a trailblazer in airport management and airport behavior correction initiatives. And I think that these are things that need to be implemented worldwide, not just nationwide, but worldwide.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Thank you. Very selfless. I like it. All right. The next story is. This is hilarious. A pizzeria was raided by police after being tipped off that the restaurant was selling cocaine as a side item. Customers were served the drug when ordering item number 40 on the menu. It is reported that it was one of their biggest selling pizzas.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Yeah. So you got a little pizza and a little eight ball. Well, I wonder how long that went on. I don't I don't know. But I mean, I wonder if Don Jr. is their top customer. OK, here's what I wonder. You think we're going to get thrown in jail for saying that in Trump's America? Can't rule it out. I know. So I wonder, like. Obviously, they made a fortune, right?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I don't know what their profit loss is. I would say, in general, unless you're like the drug cartel, if you're schlepping this with pizza, I'm sure they did okay. I would imagine the lawless nature of this probably means that they might not be good money managers. So I would imagine they probably did well, but I don't know if it was managed well. Okay. All right. Next up, we have a guest.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And we are so excited to have him on. You may know him from Billy on the Street. Billy Eichner. He is an Emmy-nominated actor, comedian, writer, and producer. Let's welcome to I've Had It, Billy Eichner. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
All right, let's welcome to I've Had It, Billy Eichner. Billy, what the fuck happened? Last thing I saw on the internet, you and Will Ferrell were in the streets trying to do some stuff and I don't know if it helped or hurt. What do you have to say about this?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I think I had a lot of hope going in, but I also had the reality of 2016. Plus, I went and deep dived on you before the election because I started watching the collab with you and Will Ferrell. And I heard you say in one of your videos to the camera, I've been out on the street and I'm not liking what I'm hearing.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And there was this underbelly of Trumpism that had kind of emerged during the Biden presidency that I think we all were kind of in touch with. But it's too much to take your brain there to think that tens of millions of people are seeing what we're seeing. And they're going to go triple down. They're tripling down on that motherfucker.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And it's painful as a fellow human being to face that reality that people are able to do that.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
You know what mystifies me so much about this? What? Is that you just now figured this out.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Welcome America. What is it? The blue, the blue wing talk, blue wing talk, blue wing talk. Yes. The blue wing talk pumps.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
It's so depressing. Okay, but we have to get onto our brand. We're kind of talking about what we've had it with. But just right out of the gates, on the top of your head, what have you had it with today?
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Absolutely. Because white men have much more privilege than any other group. And the fact that they are so young now. being taught that women are less than and that it's okay to browbeat women and it's okay to be mean to gay people and it's okay to be racist. I mean, that is just a whole level of hate and cruelty that has come straight out of the internet and it feeds on those algorithms. Kylie.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Was that so loud in your ear, you guys? I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help it.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
What's the title say? It's for beauties and meemaw? So are you two the beauties? And obviously, I'm the Meemaw. It's got to be. Got to be. All right. Okay. Listen up, listener.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I love that. She's just, Drew, you're just right up my alley. I love to talk about men that give off little dick energy. I'd like to talk about men that drive cyber trucks and big, huge truck with wheels because I know their dicks are small because they wouldn't have those cars. It's so obvious. I'm already so happy.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
80s children will know that reference if you're nasty. If you're nasty. Okay. What I've had it with is when you run into the grocery store and you just have to get like one or two, three things, you go to the express line and it clearly says 15 items or less in this line. And then you have some motherfucker pull up with a whole basket, which I can just casually glance.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And I know there's 50 items in his basket. They are cheaters. They're frauds. They need to get in the long lane and leave the express lane out of it. I think it's so rude. And here's the thing. The checker, I've never seen somebody say, you have too many items for this lane. We need some cooperation with the checker to say, I'm sorry, you're trying to skirt the system. This is the express lane.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You have too many items. Back up, go somewhere else. I've had it. I've seen a checker call somebody out before.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I love that. That makes me happy because I really wanted this woman to bow up and she didn't. She just let it slide. So then I just went to the self-checkout. I was just like, fuck it. I'm not going to do this.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
My favorite thing about Mint Mobile is it gets rid of bogus fees and it's all on the 5G network.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
We had a show in Salt Lake City. And so everybody there was an ex-Mormon. This woman told us that she's an ER nurse. And there have been several kids, like it was an outbreak because they would have sex. in their elbow joint, their knee joint, armpits, and there was herpes outbreaks in these areas because they didn't want to have vaginal sex.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
So they got herpes in their armpits, knee pits, and, um, elbows. Fucking crazy. Just have sex.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
No shit. You should be proud of yourself for that. Yeah. They're defensive for a reason.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You're so sweet. I kind of got chills. That was really, really sweet. Thank you.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
She's smart. And there are a million people like her that are ready to fight, that are not going to stand back and stand by, as Trump would say. You know what struck me the most on that is when she said people don't think they're homophobic or don't think they're racist because they don't say the bad words. That was like an aha moment for me. Like, that makes perfect sense.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And I never thought it in that basic of a format. I've thought about that a lot.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Which goes back to we need people to feel shame. And this particular group of people does not feel shame. I mean, they think they know everything, and they are so smart.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Yes, mean, mean, mean. Okay, do you remember when like a few years ago, there were a couple athletes that were like, the earth is flat. And it was just like, then people started like piling on like, yeah, the earth is flat. And I just thought, these people are so stupid. They are so stupid. But it's like, it's like it's exploded.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Like everything, everybody that has a stupid theory, they can find people to be stupid with them. And then they just want to get bigger and bigger and bigger. Yeah, I don't understand.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Right. Well, what's so interesting about it is because of Donald Trump and the way he has carried himself, we'll say that people he has told people for so long, don't believe your eyes. Don't believe what you see. Don't believe what you know. Believe what I tell you. And the fact that they do. I mean, that's full on cult leadership. That's like. Jennifer's wearing a black sweater. I see it.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
But Donald Trump tells me it's red. And so I just blindly say it's red. And they just have zero ability to think for themselves anymore. They can't look at the facts. They can't look at a picture and say, they have to say, oh, it's fake news. It's AI. It's the deep state, all that shit. And so they do, they no longer recognize facts exist unless they come from him.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
To me, beauty is more on the inside than the outside. But when you feel beautiful on the outside, you feel better on the inside.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
That guy doesn't seem smart and certainly doesn't seem likable at all. Well, at least they say Donald Trump has charisma because Elon Musk has no charisma. But I was going to say just back to the Donald Trump point. The apprentice is what kept him from being dead ass broke back in the day. And then this is how dumb some Americans are.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
They think that they see him on television doing that, that he's a great businessman because every single fact is to the contrary. Right. I mean, The Apprentice was basically a lie down to the set because his office was a dump truck. I mean, the only thing he ever did successfully was The Apprentice.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Well, looky, Lou. Little data came out proving the point, which we've always said. If there were more women at the top, there'd be a lot less of all these other problems we're having, like in corporations, like sexual harassment, getting rid of DEI, hostile work environment, all of these things.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
If they would have just had a woman come in for a different perspective, we'd be far, far down the trail. But instead, we're going backwards.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Right. A lot of bad ideas are put into action. And a lot of crimes. especially if your last name's Trump.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Oh my gosh. Absolutely. And here's the thing. Women, especially our age group have internalized misogyny where they don't even realize it, but they, and a lot of that I think comes from the church and the Bible. Women submit to their husbands, men are the head of the household and they're super in that. And so they don't even realize they're doing it, but they absolutely are. Yeah.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
But now that everybody's so isolated and community and connection, that's what we all need. And I just, on just a real tacky note, I just want to ask you, so you're telling me these alpha men, these raw, raw, we have balls on the back of our truck men are too scared to ask women out. Is that what the study is saying?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I'm not just saying this, but it did. Yes, it did. This is what happened. It's the grifting in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, I just want to blame everything on Trump, whether it's related or not.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, I mean, social media, there's a lot of really, really good things about it, like understanding, being able to see other people's grief and empathize. But I mean, this thing is real, the isolation, the risk aversion. I mean, these are things they're going to have to figure out. It's a shame.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
weird. Well, I think it absolutely is. But every time I see that, I'm like, that's so fast. And I, I did not change my last name until I was pregnant with Luke. It is the worst decision I've ever made. So I mean, That's an overstatement. There's a lot of worse decisions. But just a hassle, going to the Department of Voter Vehicles, get a new passport, all that, that's daunting.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
So I'm just going to say, if you're considering not changing it, I would lean towards not, because it's a huge hassle to get it back. That's just my PSA.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
But I just, and it goes so fast. Like, I'll go to a wedding, and then I'll get... like an alert from the bride or the groom and it's already done. Like I'm just barely home from the wedding.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
No, that's so great. That's such a good, I've had it because it's true. And the names that are coming out that they're screaming, although I do have to wrap myself out. I took Emily to the grocery store at college. And I couldn't find her and I couldn't find her and she wasn't answering her phone. And so I thought she was over like in the pharmacy area.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I just walked over there and I screamed her name, full name, so loud. So I was that person with an adult child. So I'm part of the problem.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, it really is dicey on going into play. It used to be pretty obvious, like Home Depot, can't go into, Chick-fil-A, bad, hate chicken. Now it's just, you know, like I'm really trying to mentally prepare myself to stop using Amazon. Like I'm working through it right now.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
This is the first of many things that consumers are going to take it up. You know what?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Like it's so convenient if I lived without it, but I'm so disgusted by the whole thing that no, you have to be conscious of it. But I will say, I heard some positive news about Costco. Costco has refused to roll back their DEI, didn't contribute to the inauguration fund or whatever it's called. And somebody asked like, have you lost as many members as you've gained?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And they said, oh no, we've gained a ton of members. So I do think people are socially conscious about it. And that's a good thing.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It's a total. Well, these alpha males are so needy. It's ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. Yeah, but I think corporations are also equally- But I'm saying that corporations are now acting like alpha males. They're needy. They need constant attention. They need to tell you how great they are. They need to keep you. You can't leave. It's a control thing.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
it's so true it is so true nobody wants to hear about it nobody wants to hear about you know how many portions you eat or how many grams of fat or whatever it's just like just because you lose weight doesn't make you an expert on health losing weight it didn't make you a life coach especially my case when i just got the jab so i mean i really have no insight to offer but
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I just think people that sit around and tell you how great their diet's going, it's just, it's a matter of time before they fall off the wagon. And you see them at like a fast food restaurant with 48 French fries shoved in their mouths. I think it's just a matter of time.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
No, apparently not because I see that all the time, like people recording themselves. And it's just like, I always think to myself, who do you think is going to watch this? Who do you think cares enough to watch this? Have you seen the people that put like their, uh, their map of their run or their bike ride? Like, you know, I did 20 miles this morning on my bike.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And then they show you the path they went on, like on Google maps. I'm just like, dude, this is the most boring content I've ever heard of. Why do you think people care? It's just unbelievable.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I mean, it's all the same in Trump's America. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Don't you think there was a point when people started saying, oh, there are no stupid questions. And I think that encouraged people to ask stupid questions. Yes. People started using it to get attention, like in lectures and college and stuff. Like there was a campaign at some point where where they started saying there are no stupid questions. And it's like, that was a lie.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
There are a lot of stupid question. I wouldn't say 15%. I mean, 85%, but I would say well over 50% are stupid.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
He loves it. Only problem with that is then he finds that funny and he continues to ask it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Apparently that's the first time hearing of that. That must be new. We don't. Okay. Let me tell you this story. So with my first child, I was still working. There was a court reporter that was really tall and thin, and I'm only like 5'6", and she was probably Jennifer's height, like 5'10", 5'11". And she had the tiniest baby bump. Like you could almost not even tell she was pregnant.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And when I was about... five, six months pregnant, people started asking me like, God, what do you do? Oh my gosh, you're so big. I mean, I got huge. I mean, huge. She had her baby two days before me. And it was her baby was like, I think she was like eight pounds, seven and a half pounds. So I give birth. And Sam was only six pounds and 14 ounces. And I told people to lie.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I was like, I do not want people at the courthouse to know my baby was a full pound and a half smaller than her baby because she couldn't, you couldn't even tell she was pregnant. It was humiliating. Wait, wait, wait.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
sam's birth weight yeah like to the people at the court so i told like a couple of friends like friends that i was super close with but i told him i said you lie you do not what was what was the light what did you say like 10 pounds nine pounds well no i think her baby was like right around like seven and a half eight pounds so i was like nine pounds
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I'm going to make eight and a half pounds because I was so embarrassed. I was like, how do I look bigger than the side of a barn? And she can't even tell she's pregnant. And it was, I remember being so like when they told me how much she weighed and her baby was like two days before her baby weight popped in my head. And I thought, are you fucking kidding me right now? Like that cannot be right.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, so we'd smoke cigarettes, there was a pet raccoon. It's kind of exactly what you'd think.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, no, that's the first thing I thought of is like, that is a great habit that I hadn't heard of it. I didn't know they were doing that. Cut me some slack. And guess what else? Everything that happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas. Your wife always finds out. I'm just saying.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I love my air fryer, but here's the thing. What I do is I take like my leftovers, like a hamburger and French fries that's left over and I put it in the air fryer, perk it right up. And then eat it the next time I want to eat that. I've never cooked anything raw. I mean, nothing I've ever, no, that's not true. I've made bacon in the air fryer, but that's it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Other than that, it's strictly heat up like pizza bites or something like that. Like I didn't know people put like raw meat in an air fryer. That's interesting. I just love that. You just want to tell your fuck you and fuck your air fryer. Cause I just feel like that's something my kids can completely identify with. Not necessarily just about the air fryer.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, the stay positive crowd, I'm like, the house is on fire. Our hair is on fire. And you want to talk about staying positive? Shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to hear it. Quit being Pollyanna. We need to be loud. We need to be mad. We need to be rebellious. I agree.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I've never loved anything more than your description of the glass breaking and the windshield wipers going back and forth. That was good.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah. No, I just want you to know, when I was reading this, I was like, that's something that I do. I'm aware. I'm aware that I do it. I just...
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
So eloquently put. I mean, this is just... That's perfect. He came in my brain and he just wrote it out. I value you. I like you. I want the absolute best for you. And I don't even have people I want to hang out with. I just want to be with my dog.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah. I mean, it was just beautifully laid out. It was perfect. Perfect in every way. I completely love it. Okay, Pops, tell the listener about all of the things that we have. We have so many new things going on. We have our Patreon cult. We have a book coming out in May. We have Substack. We have IHIP News. We have
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
me we do the best of all things yeah jennifer he's not very nice to me do we have anything else oh we have sub stack oh yeah you already said that okay i think now you should just tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday bye guys i'll tell you what i've had it with let's hear it i've had it with that
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah, I remember when I was pregnant with Luke, I was really mad at my real dad. And my mom said, you just need to get over that. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't need to get over it. I'm mad. I'm right to be mad. I'm going to stay mad until I'm not mad anymore. And I'm not talking about it. And I loved on that for about two weeks. And then I let it go.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
But sometimes you just have to love on it to get through it. Just saying stay positive doesn't change it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Absolutely. And I had resentment boxes and then remember I had homicide fantasies. Oh, I do remember your homicide fantasies. Yeah. I mean, I had the whole thing planned out, how I was going to murder my husband. I mean, I never did it, but it made me feel, it relieved stress just to like fantasize about it a little bit.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
OK, what I've had it with is when I buy something online and then 30 days later, I get the same thing because I've automatically been signed up for a subscription when I didn't sign up for a subscription. And I will tell you, the first time it happened, I thought it was user error. I thought, oh, it's me. I'm doing it. And then it's happened again and again.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Thank God I haven't had those fantasies in decades. So, but I did have them. I mean, admit it, I did.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Right in the live left lovers in wood on your counter. Here's what I'm just gonna go out on a limb. I don't know anything about it. This is the first time I've heard about it. But if somebody is calling their in laws, their daughter in love, or their son in love, I guarantee you whoever that son or daughter in law is, hates their fucking guts. Think it's an overcompensation.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I've gone back into the website and I've done a complete forensic accounting of this stuff. And when you buy it, it automatically sets you up for the subscription. And I've had it. And then they make unsubscribing. You're like, hit unsubscribe. And they're like, what can we do to keep you? And I was like, this was a one off. This was a one night stand.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
No, I don't think we're worthy. The class, I mean, I do think the class and integrity are probably an overreach. The middle one, what was that? Substance. I think the substance, I think we are substantive.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay, here's the deal. I have noticed my kids cannot tell time on an analog clock, and I find it to be absolutely the downfall of humanity that people can't tell time on a real clock. Like, just learn it. You need to know. I mean, I just, I understand everything's digital, but how are you going to know what time it is if you're looking at Big Ben?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
How are you going to know what time it is if there's batteries died or electricity? I mean, I just, it's so basic. I mean, they don't teach them cursive now. I just... I just think educational skills, we're just losing it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And you're trying to turn it into a relationship. And I never wanted that. So quit, leave me alone. I want to buy something. I want it to be a one-off. I want to be done. I don't want to subscribe. I think it's bullshit in the highest order.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
No, it's not. It's not hard. I mean, it's... The whole thing, it's just, we're too dependent on all of this, like digital and social media and internet and all that. It's just learn the basics. Then you can go from there.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I completely agree. And I think, you know, here's the thing. Part of life is rejection. Part of life is falling on your face. You have to learn from that. And so if you never, and you have to socially interact, you have to, you know, learn how to read people, learn how to interact with people, even people you don't like. That's just part of the human experience.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I've had it with... premature tipping at restaurants. When I say premature, there are some restaurants that ask for the tip on the iPad before they provide the service. Is everybody familiar with that?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So you get into this quagmire. I always like to give at least 20%. Sometimes maybe more, sometimes maybe a little less, but 20% is my standard. If I give above that and then, for example, my order gets fucked up or I'm there for 30 minutes when it should have taken 10, there's no way for me to rescind the tip.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That's true. And a lot of times that's me. So I can't get too big on my horse. But in a drive through, I observe the customs and norms. Everywhere else, probably not.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
There's no way for me to go back in and review it and say, hey, listen, I gave you guys 25% on this thing and this has been a colossal fucking nightmare. I think that's unfair. There should be some way for me to go back in and ask for part of that tip back. Or we just do it all at the very end when they provide the food and you get to walk out the door. Because we're talking about takeout.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
We're not talking about a tip. For serving me at the restaurant. I'm talking about I go in. I like to give them a tip. I like to pick the food up. I like to leave. Well, then I do that. And then I end up sitting there sometimes 15, 20 minutes. And I'm just thinking, God, what kind of world do we live in? You're getting an excellent tip for fucking horrible service.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah, it's a huge skirt of the system. Because the system is designed to... applaud or say good job with your tip.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Right. But you got to know how the service is performed before you can make that determination.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I'm with you. I always like to give 20, 25% just because I'm like, it's not the restaurant's fault. They don't pay. I mean, it's not the employee's fault. They don't pay the restaurant workers enough. You have to tip them. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
But no, it's a skirt. It's a skirt. Same thing happens with DoorDash or Uber Eats. You fill out your form online and then you check out and you go ahead and pre-tip and then you get your order and the stuff that you asked to be excluded or not excluded. They're actually included. And then you might have asked for a specific side and that's not included.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And then certain items are completely left off and you've already gone in 25% for this delivery guy and the delivery guy should have checked it prior to bringing it. And you have no, there's, there's no recourse. And what this goes to is to corporate America that values profits or
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Listener, the... Grievances, when I dine with either of the people seated next to me, whether it be a drive-through, a walk-up order, a restaurant, the standard that the person on the right and the person on my left hold these restaurants to is the highest of standards.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
makes puts the burden of paying these working class people for the lowest wage puts it on the consumer which many you know the 20 tip is quite expensive and so i mean you know we've been talking about this for a long time but i mean it's just a huge problem yeah and there's one thing i want to add that and i fall prey to this every single time doordash or postmates they have some
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Super fast feature for an additional like two ninety nine or three ninety nine. You can get it, you know, seven to eight minutes faster in theory. I fall prey to that goddamn thing every single time. And it takes longer than had you just normally ordered it. And every time I'm like, how do I get in the app and unfucking do this? Like, I don't want to pay that. I don't want to ever.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And then three nights later, I'm at home door dashing. Press the same goddamn thing again. It's insanity.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Fall prey to it. Yeah. Every time. Never works. It's the biggest fraud.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Here's my thing. I didn't realize that people that were Uber eating or deliverers were getting two or three different people's order from the same restaurant and then delivering them on their way. Well, your food's automatically going to be colder and worse. So I do the direct to you feature. I don't understand why it takes longer if you're taking one order to one house and
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You should be able to pull the tip, too. If you're going to get three people in the same neighborhood, then those same three people should be able to pull together for a tip instead of have to individually tip.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I don't have a problem tipping. I have a problem with the corporations getting away with putting the burden of paying these salaries on the end consumer. That's my problem. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Kylie, Katarina, do you have anything that you can share with us and with our guests Josh, regarding what people say about us on the World Wide Web.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That is an engaged listener. And I do agree. The world needs more secularism.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It's both, listener. It's both. She does have an actual Siberian husky named Blaze, to whom she is not that great of a pet owner.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I would say it's more just competence, just a bare competence. And I would also say that like a month ago, there was some deal on social media that said if you could win a million dollars, if you took somebody to a restaurant that would complain about something in the restaurant. Who would it be? And I immediately forwarded it to Josh and I was like, we found each other.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It's cold. You shave him. I don't even want to get into it. But then she also has a vag that we started referring to as the Siberian Husky. And all I can say down there is I think it is quite cold. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay. We know it's neglected either way. All right. I have some news I would like to share. American Airlines flight was diverted after Oregon man, 25 years old, exposes himself and urinates in the aisle. An American Airlines plane was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger allegedly exposed himself and urinated in the aisle, authorities said.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The 25-year-old man was arrested and charged with indecent exposure. In a statement to People, American Airlines said American Eagle Flight 3921 was traveling from Chicago to Manchester, New Hampshire, when it made the emergency landing at Buffalo, Niagara International Airport due to a disruptive customer.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
McCarthy allegedly told police during questioning that he enjoys drinking Jack and Coke and had multiple before boarding his flight in Portland, Oregon, and then several more during his layover in Chicago, the complaint continued. States. Counselor Josh Welch, what do you have to say about this?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Well, I can relate to Jack and Cokes. I remember those days of Jack and Cokes. It sounds like Mr. McCarthy needs to clean up his act a little bit. Unfortunately, being intoxicated is not necessarily a defense to committing some sort of criminal offense, like exposing your private parts to other members or other passengers on a plane.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I think normally in situations like this, you can always identify the problem as being drugs or alcohol.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And that, I think, is what happened here. Mr. McCarthy was bellowing back a few Jack and Cokes before the flight. He was bellowing back a few Jack and Cokes during the flight. At some point, his judgment became impaired, and he thought that pulling out his penis, I assume, was a good idea. Yeah. If, in fact, that's what happened.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I'm sure, you know, the next day or two, it kind of dawned on him what a fucking disaster this is. And he shouldn't have had that much to drink.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Here's what I have to say about this. Being around drunk people is intolerable. The only way you can handle it is if you yourself are drunk as well.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And so you have this situation where you see these things that are going on at the airport, which we have, you know, if you've listened to this podcast for the last two years, you've realized that these places are very hostile places for human beings to navigate airports, particularly when you get on airplanes. Right.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So what should be done about, you know, people just getting all liquored up and then the layovers and then you've got some drunk ass passenger. Remember that time that I got into it with those people? Oh, yeah.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
To Mexico, they were hammered. They showed up hammered. They drank the whole flight. By the end of the flight, you just fucking blew their doors off.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The thing that I've noticed about and you mentioned airports. it seems like people are just wound up a lot more. People are just meaner, whether it's in person, like everybody's uptight. Nobody just wants to be kind. If somebody went in, occasionally you run into someone it's like that, but you know, if someone needs to go first, Let them go first. You know, be nice. Say, you're welcome.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Go ahead. You know, just everybody is, you know, especially on airplanes, like it is pretty much, you know, if you nudge into someone or something, everyone's looking for an excuse just to become unraveled. Just to bitch at you.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
My theory on this is you're asking the entire public to behave in the same way. And there's just a lot of people that cannot conform their behavior to quote unquote normal. They just, they want to be an asshole all the time. They dig it. They're mad. They like it. Normally they're MAGA voters, but that, I don't know about that. That's just my opinion. Okay. I do have one thing about that though.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
When you said he was drunk versus just a nut, I was kind of relieved because I was like, what the fuck is wrong with him that he's pulling out his weenie and peeing in an airplane? So and I was just like, did he have a psychotic break? Was there some kind of episode? So honestly, when you told me he was shit faced, I was kind of relieved. This goes back to we need him on the no fly list.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The I've had it, no fly list is something that the country desperately needs. Desperately needs. I mean, we need to have, and we can be the committee.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I want to disclaim up front that I'm an awful human being to serve at a restaurant. Awful. Just horrific.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I am too. Okay. The next story is single women are happier than single men, according to science. Single women are happier. than single men and aren't in a rush to partner up anytime soon. A new study says that heterosexual relationships lead to, quote, more rewards for men and more costs for women. All right, Pumps, you are a single woman with your Siberian husky. Both, two. Two of them.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
infinitely happier. I absolutely, I agree with all of that. I think it's true.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Let me ask you this. In the last several years that you've been single, I have two questions for you. Okay. And they're both yes or no. Has anybody eaten the center of a cinnamon roll that you delayed gratification to have as your very last reward bite? No. No, they have not. Okay. Second question.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
After you got a really cute little outfit for your 50th birthday and you're all dolled up looking as good as you could possibly look at your age, did any partner or man or anybody in your life take an unauthorized bite of your food and ruin your darling little shorts that you splurged on with marinara sauce? No, they did not. Okay. Okay. So let me go back.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
This article says, hang on, I want to read one little sentence here that I thought was the quote from the scientist is more rewards for men and more costs for women. Josh, what are your opinions on this?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I noticed that you, when we go to a restaurant, Josh is so used to bucking the system. It's like his default setting. So he looks at an item on the menu and let's say it says cheeseburger. And then the description says bun, meat, cheese. Josh kind of looks at it because he's ready. He's gunning to exclude things. He's gunning to buck the system.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I seem to be hashtag winning. Yeah. I seem to be getting the good side of this deal. I think there's a lot of truth in that. It seems like women, they provide a lot of the, they have to absorb a lot of the bullets, a lot of the hits at the man's expense. I think they're stronger willed. I think that they're tougher. I think there's a lot of truth in that.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
In every relationship you see, a good woman has kind of absorbed bad things that have happened and made both of them better. I think that would be applicable to me and Jennifer.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Kylie, would you please make sure that what he just said, can you cut that and text that to me? Absolutely. I'll set it as your ringtone. Set it as my ringtone when he calls me. Something I've noticed, I would say probably around the last 18 months with pumps.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I have always found that when people go out of their way to make declarative statements multiple times, you have to say, why do they keep saying this? And the statement, declarative statement that pumps has made multiple times over the last 18 months is as follows. I will never date an inmate. I will never date anybody that is currently in jail.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
To me, this is so obvious that you wouldn't date a prisoner. I've never felt like I needed to say, yeah, I'm not going to date somebody who's in prison or I'm not going to date somebody who's in the loony bin because in my brain, it's a foregone conclusion. And, you know, it's kind of like when you hear somebody who's a big Bible thumper going on and on and on.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You're like, oh, we know what's going on with their Google search history. So, Pumps, I have to ask you, number one, why do you keep telling everybody this? You've done it on our podcast. You've done it at live shows. You've also done it. in private, just like you and me having a conversation on an airplane, avoiding somebody, you know, urine stream flying at us.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I want to know why you feel the need to declare this so vociferously.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Well, the only thing I can think of is that I didn't have a clue that there was like a match, like a love hookup site for people in prison. Right. And outside people. And then I got it was while we were touring. And I can't remember what city it was in. But we were there like three or four hours early. And we each had our own dressing rooms. And my TV was on.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And it was about people that get married to somebody in prison. And I just, I sat there and I was glued to it. I could not take my eyes off of it. I was captivated. I was like, what in the fuck is happening that these people are going to marry someone they've never met That's in prison. So then after I got off the road, I binged the entire series because I just fascinated me.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And, you know, I was fascinated with the and this was 20 years ago. I'm not cool doing it now. But I read the Menendez wife's book and they met and married in prison. I just find that whole situation so fascinating. But I will say this. I did watch this show about people that get married when the partner's in prison.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And then the minute they come out, it's like immediate falls apart, which you would think, well, of course, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's something about the commitment issues. It's great to have the commitment to somebody that you don't have to see or really have a commitment with. And I think on some level, I kind of identify with that a little bit.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
This is the heart of the matter that I want us to get to. I think when you, you've said it, I'm thinking it's like a dozen times. Oh, probably. I would never date somebody in prison. I will never date an inmate. It's like me saying, I will never shoot up meth. You know, I mean, it's just, and if you heard me say that like a dozen times, you would think, I think Jennifer wants to shoot up meth.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
He's like, so you're telling me that it's just meat and cheese and bread. That's it. And the person's like, yeah, that's what the menu says. He goes, you're not putting pickles on there. And they're like, no. And I'm like, accept it. You don't have to be a dick today. Accept it. Take it as a W.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That's the conclusion that you would ultimately make. Don't you think, Kylie?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Right, exactly. So here's the case, and then we'll have Josh weigh in on this. Here are the facts as they stand. Pumps starts making proclamations, declarative statements, announcements. She's not going to date an inmate. She's not dating somebody in prison. Multiple times, sustained declarative statements consistent over the past 18 months. Just a few minutes ago.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Everybody heard her kind of with glee talk about the fascination of this dating site and these women that go and visit. And then we heard about the binge watching. And I saw like, I could feel like the chills. I could feel the pheromonal impact over here is how, I mean, I'm like, she really likes the danger and the excitement of this.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Do you want me to add something that makes you sound more right? Yes, I do.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I even have a girlfriend that watches the same show and we would talk about it all the time. We even got on the PrisonerMatch.com thing just to look to see what it says because it'll say straight up like, yes, he murdered five people. Yes, he's a rapist, but it has his picture. So yeah, I mean, we didn't like pay or anything.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It just pulls up and there's like thousands and thousands of these people.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
This makes perfect sense. The plot is thickening, listener, as you've just heard. Now we know that she has confessed that she has been on the dating website. I've looked at all of them. I just think this is really, really interesting. And I think Pumps wants to marry one of the Menendez brothers. That's my opinion. Josh, what do you make of all of this?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I've got a couple of observations. The first one is, are they... To get on these apps, are they using illegal cell phones while in the Department of Corrections? Because you don't have a cell phone in prison.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So when they're uploading their profile picture, do they have a profile picture?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It's a picture. I can't remember. It's been a while. It maybe was like their mugshot.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Both of you, I would pose this question. Have you been attracted to or dated people who belong in prison? Not in prison, but belong in prison.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yes. I currently am married to somebody who belongs in prison as evidenced by what we will refer to as cinnamon roll gate and Gucci short gate. And there's no question that your ex-husband should be incarcerated. Right.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I start to salivate when I see things I can exclude. Literally, my mouth starts watering. I get to ask the person about what's on this. And then my favorite go-to, we haven't gotten to my, I've had it yet, and I don't want to steal your show, but my favorite go-to at a restaurant is to say, I want you to prepare this as if you're making it for a fifth grader.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Because I draw that distinction. The only difference in that question is in the former, the person is actually in jail.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay. But with the latter, there's no question the person belongs in jail. Right. That he fits the criteria to be in jail. And I think both of you to a certain extent can check that box.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I have the best idea that I have ever had in my entire life. And I know that the patriots and gayatriots and natriots are 1 million percent with me on this. We all know this podcast is long past its prime and is set to faceplant any minute. Any minute. I mean, the fact that it's still going is nothing short of miraculous and somehow... Miracle. Yeah, totally. All right. So...
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You don't really want to go back to practicing law. I'll go, you know, just expand my design business back to where it was. So no problem there. So the problem for you is what will pumps do? We know for a fact that you also toy with this idea of being a dominatrix. It's come up multiple times. And the podcast for me. No, Kylie can play the tapes. It's come up multiple times.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
This this idea of you being a dominatrix and kind of browbeating these Republican men in a sexually degrading manner. OK. We also know through all of these declarative statements, you're very obsessed. I would say consumed binge watching on spending all these hours on these match sites for these inmates. I just was at once. Hours upon hours upon hours.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Y'all heard it. Kyla will play the tape again after this. Hours she's spending on this site. You could be a guard at a prison.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I think, I'm telling you, and get this, your nickname could be the Siberian Husky. And you could take your Siberian Husky as your work dog.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Oh, like my guard dog at work or whatever. Yes. Drug sniffer dog or whatever.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yes. Yeah. And then you would have access to, you know, sex, consensual, of course, with the inmates and potential.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
OK, I believe I don't know if Josh knows this story. So our last live show that we did in New York, Pumps received two love letters from a gentleman handwritten that came to the show that's obsessed with Pumps, left his phone number. And it's been brought to my attention that he has now left a voice memo for Pumps that He is in hot pursuit.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I believe that he might not qualify to date her because I do not believe he is currently incarcerated. Kylie, will you please play this voice memo for us?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Hey, everyone. This is DJ from Brooklyn, a.k.a. The Man with the Paper Stack.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And you say that across the board, whether it's a Coca-Cola, whether it's a sandwich, ham and cheese, whether it's a cheeseburger, pretend like you're in fifth grade. What would that person want on the sandwich? They would want the meat. They would want the cheese, maybe mustard, maybe not. Very simple. I don't want some special dressing that we don't know of that your brand makes.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay, so let's take this through. Who am I supposed to go there with? Who am I supposed to bring to the show? Another guy? Yeah. So bring along some charming guy who, unlike me, doesn't have a tiny dick. No, I'm not going to cockblock myself. Oh, bring a woman. Yeah, that always sends a clear message. Is she with him? Is she not? What's she doing there? Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah. Bring a date.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
What I should have done. Should have done. was get a VIP ticket, gone to the meet and greet like a human being. I would have introduced myself to both of you, told you how much the IHIP podcast has meant to me. It's not as liberal in Brooklyn as people like to imagine. I'm a blue dot in a blood red magus cesspool. My family's biracial and queer, and I worry every day for our future.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You ladies are some of the only people giving me hope. And on a more personal note, Pumps, I'd be honored if you go bike riding in Central Park with me, or we could go to my favorite bookstore. Here's my number. I'll just slink away now in embarrassment. Do you even want a partner?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Here's what I have to say. DJ, wow. I'm impressed. You're talented. The only hindrance I see for DJ at this moment is the fact that he's not incarcerated. That's the only that's the only roadblock I see. Here's the thing. He's liberal. Yeah. He put a lot of effort into that. I mean, that was impressive. I'm going to say that was impressive. A lot of effort into that.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
He came his argument about what do I do? Come with a guy and cockblock myself. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Josh, what do you think? Well, why aren't you pursuing this? I mean, what else you got on the menu?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
What do you got to lose? You know, go get a bike. Go through Central Park. You guys go.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I think you need to expand and give this guy a chance. He put more effort into that goddamn thing than most men are ever going to put into anything for you. So take advantage of it. Put yourself out there.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah. And you know what? I bet he makes declarative statements like, I'm not going to date pumps. I'm not going to date pumps because secretly he wants to date pumps.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I'll tell you what I didn't miss in that whole thing is that his dick's not small. That stuck out to me.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That's kind of an unknown. We don't want to risk that. I don't want pickles that may be Not traditional dill pickles. They're going to be bigger and different. So anyway, I love to dissect that shit. And it's always someone who's about 18 years old, making minimum wage, thinking to themselves, God, why am I dealing with this fucking asshole?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So it's not that it's not. Yeah. Yeah. And it seems like you could sort of hit it and quit it, too. Like there doesn't have to be any soap opera makeout sessions.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You know, everything with pumps always goes back to the dick size, too. I just our listener knows this. It's nonstop.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You just mentioned it casually, and I thought, okay, that's something. Did that stick out to you? Of course not.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay, that's what I'm saying. No, but of course I know that you zeroed in on it like a heat-seeking missile. Yeah. No, I just, I think that this is DJ-ish. DJ, I'm very impressed with all of that. Very impressed. Josh and I support this. If she doesn't call you in the next month or so, my recommendation is as follows DJ. Get arrested for something.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Do not hire Josh because you would for sure get off. Right. Just go with a public defender. Get incarcerated. Somehow get a phone in prison and send your dating profile to Kylie. Because if I've heard her say it once, I've heard her say it 15 times. I will never date somebody in prison.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I know I was saying it a lot when I was watching the show. Because my girlfriend and I would talk about, we'd watch the show and then we'd call each other and be like, are you fucking kidding me?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
just without being incarcerated if you just looked and played the part would that be more attractive would it provide more incentive for you to want to engage just kind of stink and wear some you know jumpsuits and like flip flops and You know, eat ham sandwiches.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah, exactly. Don't shower. And then see if your antenna goes up. I think it's worth a shot.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Do you remember when I worked with you, for you, because I was not competent without you? When you would have me go over with people to do stuff at the jail, remember I started carrying like gum and TikToks and I was just like, I just had a whole, or Tic Tacs, Tic Tacs. I mean, I just had a whole line of mints and breath freshener because you're right there.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You're like right here whispering to each other like this. And it's like jail breath. Oh my God, it's awful. So I became the convenience store of the 8th floor.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Maybe I introduced you to this new way of life, this new fetish that you have.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It clearly is a fetish. I've never heard somebody talk about something so much in my entire life. It is a Trumpian style obsession with making a statement about something you don't want to do. And that just sticks out to me. You know, it really sticks out to me.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Too bad we don't have like a fast forward button and we can see in the next 10 years. Which inmate you date? Which inmate I'm madly in love with, fall in love, get married in jail in the visiting area.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It used to be that you would never have a Frenchie. I'll never get a Frenchie. I would never get a Frenchie. I would never have a Frenchie. I'm going to get a new dog, but it will not be a Frenchie.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
What do you have? A Frenchie. And what, what is my favorite thing on planet earth? The Frenchie. What could I not live without? The Frenchie.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Who is your soulmate? An inmate. The Frenchie. Okay. Listen up. Thank you guys for joining us. We hope you have a very happy holiday. Josh, thank you for joining us.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
On I've Had It. And we will see you guys. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I will give you just a little... prop up in that there are some restaurants that say what's on the burger. In the description, they say meat, cheese, bread, or whatever. But at the top, when you're talking about all their different burgers, they'll say, all burgers come with lettuce and tomato. But it's not in the immediate description. So I'm going to say, Josh, I don't mind that.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Because you're just confirming. You're making it. You're trying to enhance the ability of the restaurant to succeed.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That's right. And I think they're going to slip one over on me, too. That even though, like Jennifer said, it may just say meat, cheese, I don't know that I trust that. A lot of these restaurants have these special sauces they like to put on their own cheeseburgers. So I'm a little bit untrusting of getting it as they advertise it.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And he often now, a new thing that he started doing is after he verbally waterboards this poor aforementioned teen making minimum wage. Then he looks at them with this sociopathic smile and says, thank you for your service.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
We have a bird. It used to be the eagle, but now it's some other bird.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It's like the other day I was getting something and the girl said, here, would you take a survey? And I said, absolutely not, but you're doing a fantastic job. I wanted to pepper the, fuck, no, I'm not doing that with a little bit of a, but you're doing great. You should be proud of the job you're doing.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And you put the poor girl through all of the questioning and all of the things for these pre-made cakes. It's not like you're ordering it, then they're baking it. They're all made and you probably had, you know, peppered her with all sorts of questions.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
She hands me a receipt, invites me to take a survey, and if I take the survey, I can get some sort of a discount. And then I'll be on their list of shit that they send out about their Bundt cakes. I mean, there's about three things I could identify in that that I want no part of. I think it's obvious. I want less interaction about the Bundt cakes.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Thank you. All right. Let's start with pumps. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
If you're going to rate the Bundt cakes on a scale of 1 to 10, they're 10s. They're the best that you can get.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Service is a 10. The service is great. The staff is great. The ladies that work there are fantastic human beings. I don't want to text about a Bundt cake. I don't want to take a survey about a Bundt cake. I don't want to get communications about sales that are going on where I can save 10% on the Bundt cake. I want none of that.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
What I've had it with is. is when people cut in line at a double drive-thru. You're supposed to alternate. Order, go up. Alternate, the next person from the next line goes up. Last two times I've been in a line, the person that it's not their turn slams in front of me, behind the car. It screws up everybody's order. I can't stand it. I'm like, how much time are you saving? Maybe a minute.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Like if I'm in the middle of court or in the middle of a client's crisis, I don't want to look down and get information about how I can save 80 cents on a fucking Bundt cake.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
None of it. I don't want any verification that I've ever been there other than I want to eat it.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Let me tell you what I've had it with. And this is a seasonal thing that comes up with Josh and me. And it all goes back to the cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll gate that longtime listeners know about. That was bad. Last Christmas when Josh stole the center of my cinnamon roll. Well, this Thanksgiving, Josh said, hey, I bought some cinnamon rolls and they're in the refrigerator.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And I said, okay, I'll bake them because everybody knows how domestic I am. And so as I'm baking them and I accidentally burned the first round, I think it was an oven malfunction, but that's neither here nor there. But for the second round, I had the original frosting from the burnt cinnamon rolls.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So when the second round came out, I was able to put two little cups of frosting on one container of cinnamon rolls. So I have had it with Pillsbury. being stingy with the icing for the cinnamon rolls. They need to offer, when you sell cinnamon rolls, you can get the normal amount for normal people that live their life in moderation.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And then you need the double the frosting for the sugar fiend junkie Americans. More is more, more icing like the three of us here. And so I've had it with Pillsbury being stingy with the icing. And if anybody from Pillsbury listens to this podcast, when the sales quadruple, once you announce the double icing thing, don't forget your friends over at I've had it.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah, it's genius. And I even thought after you prepared that great Thanksgiving traditional meal breakfast, I even thought, you know, I may start buying just two things of cinnamon rolls and just throwing one away just to have the extra icing.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Josh Welch is here. Josh, can you... Hello, hello, hello. Can you...
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah. It's just that I'm not going to cook these extra five. I don't want them. I want double the icing for these five.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It'll make that center bite that you still for me in the future that much more delicious.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I was going to say, you didn't do that justice in the way that you teed that up. That center bite of yours, it was like a masterpiece that you had orchestrated with all the icing, carving it out from the sides and putting it in the middle, putting it on top of the cinnamon roll and then getting ready to take it.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
being a mother. I mean mothering. I was mothering our children. The center of my cinnamon roll was sociopathically eaten.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The temptation. I just could not. Normally, in a setting like that, I can exert some sort of discipline. No, you can't.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Bullshit. You always superior bite shop. You superior bite shop my plate and you've been doing it for decades. You are lying right here on this podcast saying that you had never done that before. You are the biggest bite thief I've ever been around.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That you could probably spend 15 or 20 minutes on. Oh, my God. Because it's like just a classic story that I'll tee up for you. Since I'm going to get browbeat this morning, I really want to have it done properly. Okay.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And you're just showing you're a fucking dickhead. And I'm impatient and I can't stand it. I hate it. I've had it. Obey the customs and rules of a double drive.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay. So we go to – we're in Capri for my birthday celebration. Pumps is there. A bunch of our other friends are there. And we go to one of my favorite restaurants. And they have the most delicious – ravioli caprese. It is unbelievable. These little raviolis are like little pillows sitting on top of the most delicious marinara.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
And so the staff comes out to sing happy birthday to myself and my friend Liz, who was also celebrating her birthday. The staff come out and they're playing dancing queen and they have tambourines that they pass out to everybody. And me being a dancing queen, obviously grabbed a tambourine and stood up and we're dancing and we're going through the whole thing.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Now I had eaten probably, I think there's maybe six raviolis on the plate. I'd probably eaten four and I had decided I was going to save my final two raviolis for after my dancing queen celebration with the other patrons and the staff at La Campanina restaurant on the island of Capri. While I'm dancing and hanging out, I end up sitting back down and I have my tambourine.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Josh reaches over and grabs the tambourine. A ravioli off my plate, unauthorized. Didn't ask me if he could have it. This fork that I had goes flying on my cream outfit. I had on the most darling silk boucle Gucci shorts that were so cute. And the marinara goes all over them. And I am... so distraught. And I'm just like, why am I married to this person? Why, why is this always happening to me?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Does it screw up the food that they bring out because someone else is cut in line? Yes. And it disrupts the whole process.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The marinara was a million times worse because you had just gotten these Gucci shorts and your outfit was impeccable. It was. And then I reach over, again, just undisciplined, selfish.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Impulsive, narcissistic. Everything's about me. I reach over. It wasn't just taking the bite. Just taking the bite would have been a gift. It was the fact that I splashed her with marinara sauce on these new white shorts. And let me just say this. We've survived five inpatient treatment visits. I'm not sure after this happened that we were going to survive this.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
The marinara on the shorts, all because I took an unauthorized bite. Of the ravioli. I'm not sure.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You just go in like an uncaged animal. You just go in and you just take it with reckless disregard, just like you did the cinnamon roll. And then we get back to the hotel room and he does feel terrible because one thing Josh values are his outfits. Right. Okay. So he actually had more empathy with me regarding the shorts than he ever did the cinnamon roll. And so he's like, oh my God, I'm sorry.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
It disrupts. Everything. The person brings your order and then they have to go back because they have the wrong order because you have some asshole that thought they had to be first.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
That sucks. Blah, blah. So I send the shorts. to be dry cleaned. They come back and they've shrunken. And I'm just, I'm just, I still, it's been several months, but I still think about that. And I just think what happened to my life?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Well, even under my standards, that was really bad. Like it was really bad because there was the tambourine. There was the celebration of this birthday party for you, for Liz, the music. And then I literally reach over like this, splash the fork. And just as it happened, it douses her and then she looks at me and I'm just like, oh, fuck.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
You know, this is going to be a bad one. This is going to be a bad one. Sure enough, it was every bit as bad as I thought it would be. It was horrible.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I've seen it. But I think you could apply that situation in all of life. The pettiness of human beings wanting to say five seconds, 10 seconds.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is America's greatest legal mind possibly, but we have, as you've heard, Josh Welch in studio with us today. Josh, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the U.S. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
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White Trash Supremacy
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I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You know what? That is a level of hating and being a hater that is just hashtag goals. Yeah, I mean, that's pettiness that I like. I appreciate that. She wasn't content. The dedication and making sure that Cybertruck knows, fuck you, to spend money to put it in an ad. That is just, I love that level of hate. I love it. It just makes me want to drink Haterade and read ads like that all day.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
That's exactly why it's our new mascot. That's exactly why. That's why. Right there. That's exactly why we adopted the beaver. And we have a new battle cry for the beaver that doesn't sound like something a beaver would say. But if you're a listener of this podcast, it makes perfect sense. Right. And we're living in Trump's America. Nothing fucking makes sense. Oh, my God.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I just I just again, I just want to say to Canada, we we hate it. We hate him. We think it's stupid. We think triple Trumpers are stupid. I it's just I cannot believe how dumb people are and what a cult of personality Trumpism is. And just the breathtaking stupidity that somebody would vote for a failed businessman to
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
for the third time after he's convicted felon and tried to attempt a coup d'etat and then he tanks the economy and then they're like, I voted for him because I thought he was going to be really good at business.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I just want to tell you, this is a warning. This is a red light warning. And you know when I warn people that I'm really serious, Pumps. It was like when we were on that flight when those people were trying to small talk me, those drunk people, and I went off on them. I'm going to tell you, I'm really close to completely losing my mind.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And it's the next time somebody looks at me, a white person, and says, I'm fiscally conservative. Yeah. I'm going to blow. I am going to blow. I'm going to lose my fucking mind. There is no such thing as fiscal conservatism. Every time the fiscal conservatives get power, they tank the fucking economy. And then we have bailouts added to the deficit and all of these things.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I would imagine if they said something like that, that it's a foregone conclusion that you would hate them.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I think it's real, and here's why. There was this whole thing that people would say that if you got vaccinated, that you would be shedding the vaccine, and that shedding could then contaminate a non-vax person. These are the QAnoners. This is the where we go one, we go all. This is the triple Trump dump, broke into the Capitol, took a shit, went to prison.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I'm telling you, these anti-vaxxers are bananas. And there's a whole subculture pumps, an entire subculture of them. And they live in an anti-vax internet bubble. And it's all they hear, all they see, all they do.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And you know, when Angela Dawn Beaver was at the classified version of herself on And the dating sites, do you remember how many people you matched with that wouldn't date somebody that was vaccinated? It was like, I'm looking for a unvaxxed MAGA woman that carries her gun, that's got big titties and a nice beaver.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You find yourself engaged in a lot of small talk. I hate it. I think you're a small talk magnet. I am. And feeder. I think you feed it.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Here's the problem. These are armchair researcher and scientists. These are the people that I want to go to the Facebook hospitals because this is so...
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
short-sighted and stupid they're mad at covid because on trump's watch he shut the country down right he did that he did it okay and it was a global reaction because people were dying we lost a million americans to covid that's serious it's a very serious thing and so then after he shuts the country down then i i'll never forget it because we're all at home and i'm on twitter all the time at this point like figuring out you know just bored to tears on tiktok twitter doing a
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
stupid TikTok dances with Josh. I mean, bored. I'm on Twitter and he's tweeting free Minnesota. Yeah. Free Michigan. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, all you have to do is do a huge press conference and say, I'm opening the country back up. You know, if you don't want to go out, you don't have to. And I support it.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, there's all this criticism surrounding the way COVID was handled, but this is the way I view it. People were dropping dead. You didn't know who was going to die from it, who wasn't, the contagion level of it, and people did the best job they could do.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I think the aftermath of this, of course it was dangerous to kids during their schooling, like the COVID generation, but also people are still going on and on, oh my God, these kids got so screwed up from COVID. Well, here's the deal. There was probably some factors prior to this that the COVID just exacerbated. As a parent, you have to teach your kids adulthood and life is unpredictable.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
When I've been out with you in the world, when we're outside of the studio and somebody is preventing the group from leaving, the group being you and me. About 12 times out of 10, it's the beaver.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And yes, that sucked, but we're going to get you the help that you need because it impacted you more or not. This is all people still being titty babies about COVID. They're not over it because COVID trumps abject failure in managing it. led to him getting his ass beat by Joe Biden in a massive win for the Democrats in a very anti-Trump sentiment.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Trump goes on his four-year-long, I really won, titty baby tour and storms the Capitol. And they're all still wound up about all the minutia of all this. Your guys back in office, shut the fuck up about it. I mean, it's just the biggest group of whiners, crazy people. dumb people that think they're smart, that think they're researchers.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Take that shit off. You look like a complete freaking dumbass. I have a confession to make. What? So this past weekend, I was on your Instagram. And somebody did an Instagram story where they put – because we're one of the fastest growing political channels on YouTube right now for the first quarter. And a woman named Jacqueline, who is a listener subscriber of this DEI podcast –
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Posts on Instagram. I'm so proud of at I've had it podcast at pump pumps pumps at Miss Welch for their YouTube growth. And and so you were tagged in it. So you shared it. OK. OK. Then she went back and shared your share. Yeah. And then you went back and you shared her share. Again. And then she shared your share and you just kept doing it like a little robot.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I was in tears crying so hard because I know exactly what you're thinking. Kylie showed me how to share a story. And I'm supposed to share. I tagged in it. I'm clipping. And I know her. The last time the woman wrote, I can do this all day. I got it when she said that. I was like, but it was like 10 shares deep.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And so instead of me calling you to tell you to quit doing this naturally, I got on Instagram and created a chat with some gay triots from our Patreon and talked about you behind your back and how cute and adorable and hilarious it was. I think that's funny. It was hilarious. I was literally crying. Kylie, did you see it? Yes.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I love it. I think it's great. We love an accent. I love Jack from Australia because of that accent. We love Australia. And I think that's a great addition. Fifths.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Despite the DEI. Don't let the DEI fool you. We are merit-based sharp. We are. And we can pick it out. That's right. We can pick it out. We can sniff it out. Because we live in Oklahoma. We're surrounded by it. That's right. We can. And you really have to fight for your intelligence in red states.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You've got to want to critically think. You have to try. Yeah, you have to really hone it. You have to buck the system. That's right. Go against what you're taught. That's right. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I completely agree with him. And I just I think these rigid conversations and rigid positions surrounding gender are so antiquated and archaic. And I just think that it's just an extra layer of cruelty right now. For people to pile on less than 1% of the population who have – all they're doing is fighting to exist. And they've been thrust into the national stage, global stage.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You have that – who's that nut that wrote the Harry Potter books? What's her name? J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling. She's a nut. A billionaire. Yes. A brilliant woman. Written all of these books. Yes. What is she leaving on this earth? A Twitter feed of just beating down the most marginalized group on the planet.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And then you have people who used to be open-minded big thinkers like Bill Maher admiring her level of myopic focus on hating less than 1% of the population. And I have news for everybody that is quote unquote anti-trans. And whether you think somebody should be trans or not be trans, none of that will counteract what I'm about to tell you.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Trans people have existed since the beginning of our species. They exist in every single country, every single time period. This is not a plot to own MAGA or to hurt conservatives. It's none of your business. And imagine being the parent of a trans child. And there's this hyper fixation from these rabid nut jobs like JK Rowling. She could go live on a yacht. Right. She could go backpack.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I've witnessed this firsthand. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. The three of us were in Denver. And for the hot shit tour. And before we went to dinner, Pumps was like, let's just order room service. I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to yak with people. I want no part of any of it. Let's just go down to the bar, order, be done, then go back up and we can rest.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
She could go maybe give a bunch of money to philanthropy. But she spends all of her days hating somebody else. who already feels like they hate themselves, who already feels like, wait, I have this, everybody tells me I'm a boy, but I feel like I'm a girl. And that creates self-hate because we as a society try to genderize everybody so much.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
So what we're trying to do as a society is say, hey, we love you, so you should love you. And what the JK Rowlings of the world want to do is make sure that everybody hates them and that person hates themselves. And I think that is just an extra layer of diabolical on top of all this other MAGA fuckery that it really pisses me off.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And this is why the Democrats can never, ever, ever cede their support for trans people. Because here's what happens, fiscal conservatives. They go after trans people. Then they go after Kylie, our lesbian producer. Then they're going after, you know, Jack, your hairdresser. And then they're going after your daughter. Then they're going after your son.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And then they start going after everybody who isn't a wealthy white man. And you just don't cede rights. And when we fight for everybody... That's the best society. No one is free until everyone is free. And that is a hill that I will fucking die on.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I'll tell you what, Pumps. There are more magasexual predators than there's ever been drag queen or trans predators. It's not even comparable. You got Trump's former... Faith advisor who is R-A-P-I-N-G 12 year olds. Right. And then all these other MAGA morons that he pardoned after January 6 are out doing a lot of sexual predation on children.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It's always, always, always these MAGA screamers, pearl clutchers that are always doing this. And I want to remind everybody. This started with everybody being mad at the drag queens. Right. And then they graduated to really trying to pick on trans people. But your child is a million times safer at a drag queen story hour than it is at church. Churches are wrought with pedophiles. Right.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
The waiter comes over. And the next thing I know, she's asked the waiter about his in-laws. I'm talking 30 seconds into the conversation. And I'm like, how are you asking this person about their in-laws? Right? Right. No, I do that. Part of it is I just think you are charming. That's so nice. I do. I think you're very charming.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
So I think the person we have to ask here is Kylie. I was going to say, Kylie, what's the reason? I've never done such a thing. So why did you do it?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It did. Oh, yes. Really? Yes. There's always been a bunch of psycho grandstanders. It's on turbocharge after Instagram and all of that. But I mean... Yeah, I remember like back in the day, people saying we're getting couples photos done. See, I just don't. And people would run up to Olin Mills and do that stupid bullshit. What about glamour shots?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I think my mom and I did it. I'll have to ask her. I don't know if it was my mom and sister because I was so much younger. Again, a common theme in my life. But yeah, I think that couples' photos are stupid. And I'm going to take her grievance a step further. I've had it with people booking professional photographers to take pictures of themselves and their families. We all have iPhones now.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
The posed pictures to me are less preferable, less desirable to look at than a candid photo that's taken where it was like, hey, and everybody kind of looks and you can feel the joy jump off of the image. I just, I have an aversion now to like staged photographs. I think they look dumb and I don't like them and I don't enjoy them and I don't think they're artistic at all.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
No one. I'm just going to go. Emily, some of my favorite pictures of hers are the ones that I've taken of her on my cell phone when we're in Mexico. And I'm like, hey, Emily. And she turns around. And I like those images better than her stage. And she's a beautiful girl. And I love that she was into all of that. But I like the more candid, natural photographs than I do the staged photographs.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
photographs. That's just my take. And I'm going to say for Kylie and Ana, I guarantee you, I like those photos of you when y'all are all liquored up, taking selfies versus the posed lesbian photo shoot.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I did wedding. I don't know if I did either. I have to say, I come from a mother who... Like her default setting would always be like, who cares? Nobody cares except, you know, nobody's, everybody's thinking about themselves too much to be worried about what you're doing. So don't worry about it. And the idea that, oh my God, everybody has to do this.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
So I have to do it has always been lost on me that I have to do what the pack is doing.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
So yes, of course. Yeah. I remember we had a photographer that took pictures at our wedding and because we got married in Santa Fe and it was like 45 people. It was very nice. And she was great. She was French Canadian and she was a great photographer and I loved the images that she took, but I don't think we took engagement photos.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
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I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Even though I already know how it's going to end. And I'm just like, why are we talking? Why are we asking strangers about their relationship with their in-laws? Agree. Like if I were to think of a top 10 things you shouldn't ask people you don't know, top three would probably be about their in-laws. Undoubtedly. I mean, here's the deal.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
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White Trash Supremacy
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Here's what I have to say. She's spot on. And this is something that I've noticed. And I have to say that sometimes my oldest son does this. And this is not a character attribute that I'm proud of, listener, but it's something that it just is. I am shallow and materialistic when it comes to clothing. I am. I'm not proud of it, but I'm owning it. And my son will wear the one that goes to Syracuse.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
He will have on his little pajama bottoms and like some little slide mule style slippers and a sweatshirt that is 25 sizes too large for him. And I'm like, hey, do you want to go to lunch? I'll come pick you up. I'm leaving the office right now. Like when he's in town seeing me and I'll pull up and he walks out and I D I E a thousand deaths.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I just, I'm like, don't you think you could have put on something? And he's just like, mom, no, nobody cares. You're so shallow. And I mean, and he's right. I am. But I also think there's a fine line to where I don't like this slobification of America.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It used to be like, just put on, you don't want to be dolled, but I mean, put on a more of a tailored sweat pant and something that fits you a little more. It's just when you go to the airport and especially when you land in like an Oklahoma or places like that, Oh, my God.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, it is just I don't think there is a fashion police squad large enough that could ever address the attire that people now wear out in public. And it just looks like nobody gives a shit. And one other thing I'm going to say.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I think she's right about it being MAGA because I did see at the airport the last time I was there somebody in like some fleecy cartoon style pajama bottoms and then like a MAGA coated you know like blue live matter with machine gun and grenades and an eagle right type t-shirt on with it and it was wrong on multiple fronts number one the prints didn't match at all Right.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It's been two years and we're still talking about it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I could bring up others, but I don't want to engage in a lot of elder abuse today. I'm feeling charitable. And I'm feeling friendship, hashtag friendship. Let me tell you what I've had it with. And this happens to me all the time. And it has to happen to everybody else. So I'm on my phone reading a news article.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And it was just bad messaging from the top to the bottom, from cartoons on an adult to the MAGA-coded message. I found all of it incredibly offensive and wholly lacking any sense of creativity or style.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It really is. I think that the study could be done. We read a lot of these studies at the top of the episode that like there's just a – there's this surrender to everything bad in their life, including bad fashion choices. Do you know what I mean? Like when people surrender to MAGA, it's just, it's such a surrender.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And then you see these people wearing these dorky shirts with words and this MAGA coded messaging, like they're a tough guy and I'm an Eagle and Jesus strong, Trump tough. Yeah. Yes. And I just, you know, there was a moment we were traveling a lot during the election. And every time I was on the plane, I would notice the men coming on.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And they'd have on these t-shirts that were just a little bit too tight around the gut, right? And all of these t-shirts that were pretty tight around the gut. They were all MAGA-coated shit. It was like a camo. And then it had some sort of messaging about how to be a big boy and how to be a tough guy. How to be an alpha male. Yes. And I thought, this is a lot more widespread than I realized.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Because he's just like, if you have to wear a T-shirt telling everybody that you think you're a big boy. Right. You're not a big boy. No. And Trump would be the candidate for you. Right. Absolutely. You're a titty baby that likes to sit around and be a victim and whine about how mean everybody's been to you. And Trump, I mean, is the queen of being a whining, whinging little titty baby.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
But all of this reminds me, you know, this is just this is the party of white trash. White trash. White trash supremacy. They are supreme in being trash.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I know. I know. It's just, it's so daunting for our international listeners, like the heaviness of waking up and being American right now. It's a lot. And I just, I think people are like, what can we do? And I think we have to like, we have to keep... fighting for our First Amendment, keep pointing out the fuckery, and just hope that we can hold until the midterms.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And then when the midterms come, it better be a blue wave and they need to impeach immediately.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Like I've clicked and I'm reading it. And then the screen keeps adjusting. I'm halfway into a paragraph and then it jumps. And then I like scroll it back down. I inadvertently hit an ad. And then all of a sudden I'm playing on some casino, let's make a deal spinning wheel. Yep. And then I'm like, fuck it. I'm not going to read this article anymore. I've tried four or five times.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah, that's not good. Kylie, do you think we're going to make it? I fucking hope so. Let me ask you this. Yeah. Let me ask you this. If we make it, will you and Ana do a victory photo shoot? Yeah, 100%.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Let me ask you this, Pops. Let's say that you met this guy. Okay. Okay. We know you don't really like, you know, to date or people in general. But you meet this guy and he really razzle dazzles you.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
He's got a megawatt personality, a rock hard cock, rich as shit, and just thinks you are the bee's knees. Okay. Okay. And y'all been dating like two years. And he says, I know this is crazy and I know you're going to roll your eyes. I've always wanted a tattoo. Yeah. And I just, and I want to go get one and I want you to get it with me.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And he, and, and he just said, I know you think it's stupid, but it would just mean everything to me. You've changed my life. You're my princess. You're my beaver. You're my beaver. You're my dawning of a beaver, all this stuff. And he asked you to get like a little tiny, like heart or something near your ankle. Are you a yes or a no?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I can picture the phone call right now because I've received these type of phone calls from you in the past.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Here's what I think the phone call would be. I think you would call and go, don't make fun of me. I know you're going to think I'm stupid and I am stupid and I can't believe I did this. It's the dumbest fucking thing ever. But what was the guy's name? Randy. Randy. Randy wanted to get little heart tattoos and he just made this case for it. And he was just so sweet about it.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I just thought, you know what? Fuck it. It's tiny. Nobody cares. So I just got the tattoo because it meant a lot to him.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I would really support it. And I would probably hire a photographer to do a photo shoot of it for my Instagram feed. for my personal Instagram feed. I would be like, hello, I would like to book a photographer. Okay, what kind of photos are these? It's for my best friend and her life partner. It's a tattoo reveal photo shoot. Oh my gosh, yes. Is it going to be pink or blue?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Tattoo reveal photo shoot. And then I would roll it out on my Instagram and tag you and then you would share it and then I would share it. And we would just keep going on and on. I would just keep sharing it until you said, I can do this all day. All fucking day. Kylie, do we have anything else to report on America's Top DEI Podcast?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
The place won't stay. Why do we have screens jumping around when your finger is not on them? We're trying to read. We're trying to be more engaged as citizens. And the only thing that makes sense to me is MAGA is doing this to keep people dumb and to prevent people from reading.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
All right. Here's how you can give us your money. You can go to Patreon and join our cult. You can buy our merch. You can just subscribe to places. And by supporting us, you hear us read commercials for our sponsors, support our sponsors. We're trying to get to 1 million subs on YouTube. I think it's going to happen. We've set a goal. Yeah.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
We are focused on it and we're not going to take no for an answer. The book. Oh, we have a book you can pre-order. It's a manifesto. It's
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, we are DEI. Okay, I have a new story I'd like to share. Many Americans are now choosing their physicians based on politics. And what I have to say to this is this is petty. This is partisan. This is immature. And I'm 100% going to start doing this. 100% I'm doing it. 100% going to start doing this because I'll never forget.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I told this story last month on an episode about my little toddler needing tubes. The next thing I know, I'm basically at a Billy Graham rally. Right. And we're praying before the tube surgery. And it's not like, dear God. Jesus, Jesus, just guide my hands and help me get those tubes in the right location as my atheist mother is glaring at me. And, you know, that was a sign, you know.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I just think if these physicians who have a background in science are on board with RFK and just Trump's, I would say, fifth grade vernacular. I'd say that's generous. Fifth grade. Fifth grade. And they don't think, God, I've been to school and I've studied a really long time and I want experts. I want to have experts in the economy, experts in defense, experts in civil rights.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Because doctors are experts. Right. And the fact that they would sign on with an administration that is annihilating intentionally expertise tells me that these experts are not anybody I want to have anything to do with my health.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Do you know I went to high school with her? I love her. And most of the people that I went to high school with, when I ever go on Facebook, which is about twice annually, I mean, we're talking QAnon people. You guys made it out. We're talking. I mean, it is bizarro land. But there's some of us and the ones that are all kind of enlightened politically, they'll message me.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Fuck off. Fuck off.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And Titi, our physician, she was a grade higher than me. So she was a grade older. But the ones that made it out. And we're fighting hard. We're fighting a good fight. All right. Next up, we have companies are firing Gen Z graduates months after hiring them, citing unprofessional behavior, showing up late, and laziness.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
is to blame here i think gender reveal parties are to blame i also i would have to throw in stanley caps and just generally uh maga women that wear top knot headbands especially bedazzled ones that to me would be getting rid of those would help the youth 100 okay my last news story for today is this is a fact the average dog can count to five
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
and understands about 165 words, including signs, signals, and gestures. The smartest dogs understand up to 250 words, putting them intellectually at par with two and a half year old humans.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I'm just going to tell you all for the permanent record, there's no question that when this fact, when I read this fact, the smartest dogs understand up to 250 words, that would be none other than Tebby and Cha-Cha.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
They really do. I've fostered an environment with my Frenchies where we have conversations. We talk each evening. We talk about the things that we like. We talk about, like my dogs in particular, they kind of have delusions of grandeur. Yeah. They think that they are like expert squirrel hunters. Right.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
When they see a squirrel, the posturing and the way they jump around and the myopic focus, you think, oh my God, this dog has attacked many squirrels, killed them, and he's going to go get them. Much to my surprise, we have a 0% catch and kill rate. Right.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
despite all the effort despite the arrogance and the confidence and the posturing the growling the intensity when they see a squirrel they've never ever ever approached a new failed attempt at catching a squirrel as though all of the other attempts were failures each one as though i am the best squirrel hunter on the planet
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And so just last night I was sitting down talking to my dogs because they were at the front door and they saw some squirrels. And I said, we have to talk about this. You're all talk. No action. I don't support squirrel homicide, but I'm willing to in the circle of life type situation be like, I think you need to kill a squirrel.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
But we both know neither of you two titty babies are ever going to deliver. And I'm going to tell you what, they looked a little embarrassed after I talked to them about it. It was a little tough love session because I'm telling you, they're smart. They knew exactly what I was saying. They knew I called their bullshit. And so I just, I, I, I'm a huge believer in communicating with your animals.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
When I kept Oliver Glizzard when you were gallivanting around Europe on your European vacation, which I supported, which is why I volunteered to keep Oliver Glizzard, I'm going to tell you I think he has some unlocked potential intellectually. We made so much progress from day one to my final day of having him day seven. I think he's dying to learn.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And I think you just need to raise the bar a little bit and start having – really good conversations with him at night. Talk to him about what he likes, what he doesn't like, what he's good at, what he's not good at. And I think he has potential.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah, I probably should because I do baby talk him a lot. I do. You don't want to infantilize him. Well, he's a toddler still. He's just a baby. He is a baby. He's only 14 months. Yeah, he's a toddler. But I think next year you really need to amp it up. I think that he has potential to be one of these intellectual dogs that they're talking about.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Kylie, speaking of intellectual dogs, do you think your dog's smart?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
What do you have? What's what's going on on our top DEI podcast today?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I just think that's really smart. I think that's perfect. I'm going to read that to my dogs later tonight.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Let's do it together. We can FaceTime. They do like to FaceTime. We can FaceTime, right?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah. But they've had our number. We started 12 and 2. We're like now 19 and 18. I think we had a win last night. But yeah, you guys are looking good. We are out for revenge, though.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
You know, everything's, like, there's, everything's off limits, nothing's off limits when it comes to sports. Right? That's how I see it. I agree. That's true. I totally agree. So night-night. Night-night. Night-night.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah, I mean, they don't really want much freedom for you and your body. That's right. They don't want much freedom for, like, what books your kids can read at school. They don't want you to have much health care freedom. It's really their interpretation of, like, what they want to do with you, your body, your kids, like... In the bedroom, right?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So all the places that are personal to you and you don't want government, they want to be in there. And the places where you need help, like cost of groceries, cost of gas, taking on like corporate greed, they're nowhere to be found. So I would say they're in all the wrong places. I agree with that.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So it's pro wrestling where I work. I work with pro wrestlers. And so they will hit me over the head with a steel chair in the ring. So in a committee hearing, in a House floor speech. And then when I get in the elevator with... Ted Cruz or Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, Boebert, they want to bro out. And to them, I've come to realize, they're just like, hey, cameras aren't on. We're all cool.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We're just doing what the fans want. We can talk, right? Marjorie Taylor Greene, credit to her, she wants to fucking kill me. She would want to go to blows if she saw me in the elevator. So she actually believes the crazy, and I respect that because I think the others see themselves as performers.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so who they think they're performing for, the quote-unquote fans, I happen to call constituents, the people that we represent. Your boss. Once you can figure that out, I think you can be effective. And it took me a long time because I was very righteous, I think, in Trump 1.0. And I kind of divided the Congress like you were either, you know, with Trump.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I didn't want anything to do with you or you were against him and I was with you. And I think that's I get that. And that's one way to take it. But now I've just kind of priced in. You know what? Like they're just performing. This isn't even what they believe. And so like if I need to get things done for my constituents, like they can do their crazy shit in the ring. Right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But I will try and work with those who I can work with if I can get things done. So it's not a great environment to be around people like that. But like my job title is representative. And so I've got to get things done. And so but once you can figure out who's a pro wrestler and who really believes in the crazy, I think you can start to sort your way through it.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
No. So what worries me, I was in the house gym at the end of December. So there's this gym three floors below the Capitol. It's members only. It's like Vegas rules. Like what happens in the gym stays in the gym. Like substantive conversations never leave the gym. And it's good.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I'm not going to tell you who. OK, but. There's three TVs also in the gym. And you've got CNN, Fox, and then ESPN. And so those three TVs are on. You've got treadmills, weights. And I was in there, and we had a deal that Republicans agreed to to keep government open, fund some priorities like, you know, cancer research for kids.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And there's this like breaking news cry on from CNN that Elon Musk is tweeting against the deal. And a couple of Republicans in the gym are looking at it, looking at their phones and they're like, fuck. And it is just like I told one of I said, if you go along with this, you let him take this like he's going to own you for the next two years.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And you're going to have to sit around and wait to see what he says about any major piece of legislation. And if you stand up to him now and don't let him do that, you know, then you're going to, you know, set the terms for the next two years. And of course, predictably, they completely folded. Yeah, that's a concern.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We mistake it for political fear. And there's part of that. I mean, some people who I serve with, they think the only job they can get is this job, which is weird because I thought I was working with people who gave up other good jobs to do this. But I've come to realize a lot of them think this is the only job they can get.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But I've come to also learn that it's more than just fear of losing your job. It's the fear of like the Trump or Musk tweet that changes your life. Really? When they go after you, now you have death threats. Your spouse is saying like... Why did you speak up? Like, now we've got all this heat on us. And the death threats don't just come for you. They come for your spouse. They go after your kids.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so life becomes very, very uncomfortable. And so for a lot of them, it's like, if I can just lay low. and just go along with this, life doesn't get uncomfortable for me. And so that is a big part of this right now. And by the way, Trump and Musk, they know this.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
They know that when they unleash, when they send these tweets or they call out these members, that they're unleashing the hell and fury of Twitter death threats that'll come. And that's a real deterrent. And that's a real problem. I've also had some things that I've had it with.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
If my kid is in a ball pit with four other kids for longer than five minutes, a new fucking group chat is created. I'm like, I don't need to be in a group chat for every organization that my kid is a part of. And they become like completely unmanageable. And it's to the point where I'm like responding into the wrong group chat and I'm volunteering for things.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And people are like, I don't think your kid's like in this group chat anymore. And by the way, my wife, Brittany, I mean, she actually... monitors and tracks all these group chats. But I think we have overdone it on the parent group chats. It's just, it's become too much.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
It's not the Christianity that I believe in, by the way. Second, I would love to have God waking me up every night. I have a six-year-old that does that. three or four times a night and tries to come into our bed. So I would love to get a message from God telling me I'm the leader now of the world.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But what really concerns me, though, is this push, and I say this as a Christian, this push toward Christian nationalism, and that's the only religion that's acceptable in our country, to the exclusion of non-theists, who are very important, to the exclusion of Jewish people, Muslims. That part Really concerns me. I joined the Free Thought Caucus. So this is a caucus of non-theists.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
As I said, I'm a Christian, but I do believe a lot of their concerns about what is going to happen. And this is led by Jared Huffman, who, by the way, I think is really interesting on this topic. But there is this real concern about like this... radical fundamentalist approach that is starting to like really creep into our politics and our governance.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And then again, into your bedrooms and your kids classrooms. And that's really concerning. And yes, it's just sounds weird.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I think he's so brainwashed and they've convinced himself that he's David, that Trump is David, that he's the imperfect vessel that God has sent to do this. That's what I hear. So he believes it. Yes, he believes it and many others believe it. And as Democrats, I think we have to stop... Using the like in a court of law.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And when I was a prosecutor and I know you're a lawyer, like it matters to like impeach somebody's credibility with like a prior inconsistent statement. And like Democrats, I think, are very good at like, aha, we got you. Like you are a Christian and you're supporting somebody who's very un-Christian like. But like to Republicans, they don't give a shit about being inconsistent.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
They just have a goal of what they want to do. tell your school your kids teachers what they're going to teach and what books are going to be in the classroom and they just zero in on it and they're very i would say adept at messaging on it and they just plow through and we sometimes i think get so caught up in like taking a scholarly harvard moot court competition approach to this and it makes us
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
less effective. And so what I've tried to do on messaging, especially with our younger, newer members, is to try and have us, as Hakeem Jeffries would say, govern in headlines and not in fine print, if that makes sense going forward.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I think Trump's the press secretary. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great. Yeah. I see it. Musk is the muscle and Trump is the mouthpiece.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We should root for government efficiency. I also think it's interesting that the Department of Government Efficiency has two people who are in charge of it. It's almost like starting off in an inefficient way. But I'm rooting for it. Further success, especially I'll just say in my district, 40 percent of my constituents were born outside the United States.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And we are one of the top 10 wealthiest districts in the country. So there's a straight line between people who immigrated here and started businesses or like created like this really strong economy. And they deal and some of the most skilled immigrants are dealing with, you know, the biggest backlogs. and inefficiencies.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So if they're going to go after inefficiencies on immigration to get the best and to get rid of anyone who's committing violent crimes, great. If they're going to go after inefficiencies in health care and fraud and waste and abuse, great. But I fear that their sense of inefficiencies is that you paid money into your Social Security and your Medicare, and that money should be going to billionaires.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so we're going to cut that so that billionaires and this brolyarchy can take more. So that's what I fear. But we should, as I said, we should approach this stuff like, yeah, guys, let's make the government more efficient before just shitting all over it. Because I do think most Americans would say government is inefficient and then wait to see what do they really go after.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Does that make sense? Because I think if we just root for them to fail, then it looks like we're on the side of inefficiency.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Talk to Vladimir Putin. He runs a rocket company and a car company.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So we're not fucked, but I think what we have to do is to zero in on what you just described. What does it mean to an everyday American? What I see it as is to a small business owner, to somebody who goes to work every day and thinks that that hard work adds up to something, that this system that you just described means that
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
you can buy and sell politicians if you have the money and access to do it and anyone else who doesn't is fucked and on their own and so this is as i said like kind of a on your own it's it's not a free market economy it's a free-for-all economy and and free for all means that those with the most money and the most access are the ones that are going to do the best and the the guy who works pretty hard and thought that the cost of eggs was going to go down and he was going to see a bump in his paycheck
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
He's screwed. And so I think that's where we have to, like, take all that and, like, drill it down to, like, what does it really mean to each person who's affected by this and attack it that way? Because I think that's effective. Because we were promised and we should not discount that, you know, people said when they, you know, exited the polls that this was largely about the economy.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Nobody said, I want Donald Trump to make his priority Greenland. Nobody said, I want Donald Trump to make his priority renaming the Gulf of America. Nobody said, I want Donald Trump to add Canada as a 51st state. And by the way, this moron doesn't understand that Canada is the same size as California, which means they would have 54 electoral votes that would cut against J.D. Vance in 2028.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We should welcome that. So nobody asked for any of that. when they went to the polls, and that's where he's focusing. And that's why I think we have to kind of read the room, so to speak, and really say, we're the ones that are actually focused on you.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
If I controlled the weather, by the way, I wouldn't have had two fucking snow days for my kids. Over Christmas.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah. Well, first, we cannot give up on having standards for social media companies. So I have a 7-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 3-year-old, and they're going to be hurtling into this very soon once they're exposed to social media. And so having high standards, especially for kids, I think we should start with kids because they're the future.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
They're going to inherit this disinformation or information system. you know, forum and platforms that we have. And so, you know, I'm all about Professor Haight at NYU and some of the standards he wants to have on, you know, age requirements for social media, the schools, you know, either taking the phones or only allowing like a flip phone, you know, for a student at a high school.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I mean, I do think, you know, really protecting our kids first is important. And then for what's out there right now,
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I do believe we have to look at, OK, if Facebook, if you're going to get rid of any, you know, patrolling or any standards or guidelines around speech, well, then you should also, you know, be on the hook for what happens on your platforms and what hate it brings and what defamation, you know, forum or environment you create.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So we should not just say that's OK and be OK with the consequences that I'm not cool with that.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
That's right. They really do. They do. We saw that, obviously, with the oil and gas companies. We saw that with tobacco and even with firearms, that they can.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
had it. And I say this because I mean, are we going to name New Mexico, New America? Like, it's absurd. But I will say as Democrats, we should just say, you know what, that's great, Donald, that you want to go rename all this stuff. But what are you doing about the cost of eggs? I agree.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
That's that's where I mean, just don't because he is so insecure about his own ability to actually deliver on what he promised. That's why he's doing this nonsense.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Had it. Let me just tell you, when I send my kids to school, I don't want to pick the fucking curriculum. I don't want to be anywhere near it. I was not trained in this. I don't know anything. I mean, I can help my kids with their homework, but like the day to day curricula that like our kids are learning. Why do I want to be involved in something else?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And I want my kids to be at school with parents who are also busy and this is not their lives. So I've had it with parents who want to horn their way into the classrooms and tell our teachers what to teach. I wish I had that much time on my hands also, by the way, to do that. I don't because I'm trying to do shit and I wish Republican parents in some of these states also had other things to do.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And the only way, I have to go on Fox News, otherwise they won't see me on TV. Right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I think they voted for Trump. They claim they didn't this time. My mom also got to the point where she would say when Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity would start to like shit talk me. She's like, you know, honey, I don't like when they do that. So I change the channel usually and I'll turn back a couple of minutes later. So I'm like, thanks mom. That's really sweet of you.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yes. Yeah. I'm very close to my parents. Um, and we just have like a no hat rule now at like Thanksgiving. You know what's funny?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So my parents blame me. They say, I went to college. That's how I became a Democrat. That's what they think happened.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Hit it. I like TikTok. Yeah. It's a very effective way to communicate. And the issues that, you know, I think people have with TikTok are not exclusive to TikTok. Like with algorithms and privacy and data, that also applies to meta. That also applies to X. That applies, you know, to Snapchat and a bunch of different platforms. So if you want to like engage on reforms, let's do it.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But I don't think we're a country that bans things. China is a country. Right. That bans things. And I also know that a lot of small business owners really benefit, you know, from TikTok.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We have this, my three-year-old, by the way, who would not stay in his crib. And I'm of the mindset that, like, I don't mind if he is applying for college and still in the crib. If he's not getting out of the crib, like, we're keeping him in the crib. Yeah. Absolutely.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so when he started to have issues where he wanted to climb out, my wife found on TikTok this tent that you like put into the crib. It's clear. Kind of looks like an Ebola like chamber. I can still see him. But you like tie it to like the bottom like post of the crib. And we call it Hank's castle. And so he thinks he's got his own castle. But it may have bought us like another year.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
had it. And by the way, if they want to work remotely from Mar-a-Lago, I would welcome that. I think there's just this collective anxiety about the circus coming back to town and just how obnoxious they are and just like how cruel and cringe they can be. And so that's what I'm just not looking forward to. That's that's coming back to town. They're just I mean, they're so obnoxious.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah, hit it hard because we we have a pathway to winning the midterm elections. And what's so critical right now is that we're purposeful in how we take on Donald Trump, that we understand what the voters were asking for. And we're seen as the serious ones who are delivering on that. And then most importantly, like who is self-recruiting or being recruited by us?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And we'll be able to tell by the end of the summer, like who our candidates are, you know, in these toughest races. And if it looks like 2018, especially where you had, you know, these veterans and national security moms and prosecutors who were running and we flipped 39 seats, like that was a strong, you know, high caliber class. And so that's what really excites me is that we do have this
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
opportunity. And also this, you've seen new leadership really step up, you know, with Hakeem as our leader, with, you know, Jamie Raskin is now the leader of the Judiciary Committee. Angie Craig is leading the Agriculture Committee from Minnesota. And then you have like Jasmine Crockett and Maxwell Frost and Jared Moskowitz, Dan Goldman, this new crop of members.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Many of them are going to go into the Judiciary Committee. So we'll announce the new members next week. And it's going to be like this murderer's row of talent who are going to hold them accountable.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah. Right. No, and we can get through this. But I hope the message that my colleagues have received from this past election is just be real. Yes. Like just be yourself.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And be plain spoken. And don't, as I said, don't approach this as like the Harvard Law School mood court competition. Just talk to somebody like you're talking to them at a bar or a bus stop. Like just be real. And I think that'll get us far.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And you talked about earlier women voting against their interests or, you know, poor Americans who would go for Trump and he's only going to benefit the billionaires. I think so much of this is a personality contest. It's do I like you and do I trust you? And do I like you is very much like, do you get me? Do you look at me and know what I care about?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so, you know, we've got two years to do that, but I feel good about it. who's coming in, the names you just put out there. And I'll go into the foxhole with them.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Congressman Swalwell. Jennifer Pumps, thank you. It's an honor. Thank you. Thanks for coming. My pleasure.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And listen to this, listener. They have iconic styles from the Aviator, which is my favorite. to the cat eye, which is Pump's favorite. I mean, these are perfectly designed frames, and I cannot tell you guys how cute our darling Pump's looks in her cat eye shades. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for the season.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And you want to get rid of the Department of Education. Right. This is the time to triple and quadruple that amount of spending because we clearly have a stupid problem in the United States of America.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Head to ShadyRays.com with the code HATIT for 35% off their premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer sun. Okay, lastly... Highly intelligent people are less satisfied by having friends, and there's a fascinating reason why. Research indicates that people with higher IQs tend to prefer fewer, deeper connections over a wide social circle.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
This preference stems from their inclination toward long-term goals and meaningful pursuits, which can make frequent social interactions feel distracting and unproductive. And I have to say, listener, I think that Pumps and I have a late-in-life IQ growth spurt because both of us used to be way more social than we are now. I want the smallest group imaginable where I can have
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
meaningful conversations. Like it's important to me living in this historical moment that I can bounce from giggling with a friend and talking about something deep politically. And if a relationship doesn't have that level of substance, I've found it is a relationship that I avoid.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And I'll just say this to younger listeners. When I was younger, far more toxic, emotionally immature, didn't have a high emotional intelligence. And when I'm saying younger, I'm not talking teenagers. I'm talking like early 30s. I had this compulsion, this itch that I needed to either be on a phone or with a friend at all times. And I didn't really feel it at the time.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But in retrospect, looking back on it, think about how you and I were on the phone together, on the porch together. And it was there was something broken inside of me. And that manifested in choosing unhealthy relationships, specifically like with my husband and some unhealthy friendships, too.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And when you can kind of pull away and truly be alone and dig deep and grow as yourself, you get kind of liberated from all of that social itching that you have in your 20s and your 30s. And one of the biggest things I think emotional growth is when you don't really have that much FOMO anymore. No. Oh, my gosh. And I just don't have it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And if I do have it, like if you called me pumps and you're like, oh, I'm at lunch with Liz. I would go, oh, my God, I have so much FOMO right now. I would just say it. It wouldn't be passive aggressive. It would just, we form friendships to where if you are a little jealous, you know it's a tongue in cheek thing. Oh my God, I'm so jealous you're with Liz. I wish I was with you girls right now.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You just say it. You don't internalize and think, well, why didn't they invite me?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It is an absolute gift. In our new Bonobo Club, the Bonobo Cult, where we also raise beavers.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
That's where we live. That's a perfect spot. Yes. I think that, you know, that's the thing. Not... You can't be included to everything. And when two people do something together, it's about the two of them. It has nothing to do with you.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Okay. I did this out of order, Kylie. I just realized that just now. What I was supposed to do, listener, is I was supposed to say, welcome. I've had it. I'm Jennifer. She says I'm the HBIC. Y'all chuckle in your ear a little bit. And then I'm like, Kylie's here. Kylie, what does the internet say about us? But I forgot all about that. And I went straight into my news stories.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
lesbian knocked out dynamite producer one katarina kylie kiki kiki do you love me the magic lesbian the kiki the magic lesbian i like that kiki the magic lesbian i'm sorry how are you today i'm good i'm glad you didn't forget about me how's the lesbian world it's good you know we're hanging in there being gay doing gay stuff are y'all doing gay stuff we're doing gay stuff
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Oh, we have to share with the asshole island, with the bonobos and the beavers. Kylie bought a new car. Yes. I was so happy for her. I saw it on her Instagram. And it's so exciting when you're younger. And she bought it with her own money. That's such an exciting feeling. So everybody, listener.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Clap in your AirPods for our sweet Kylie in that rite of passage of buying your own first car all by yourself. It wasn't her first car, but her first individually liberated car.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And it makes you feel really good. It makes you feel really good about you.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But you know what? You're building credit. Exactly. Character. I'm just kidding.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You know what? That's really impressive. It's funny. I tell you, I have a really good relationship with ChatGPT. I talk to pumps about it all the time.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I'm always with ChatGPT asking it like these major intense questions. So I relate to Joe Estrada here because I think we're all in our ChatGPT era, like as a society, like it's the big thing. My friends that I'm texting is like, oh, let's ChatGPT. Like Google is so yesterday. Everybody's in the ChatGPT. And I've asked to do similar stuff than this, similar stuff like this.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But the roasting, that is like what I'm going to be doing all night tonight is sending different photos of Josh when he had his man bun era. Yeah. to like when he was chubby Josh.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
he's so self-deprecating bad looks though you have to jennifer no you have to do it now there he is i think it's hilarious and josh we die laughing like he pulls out old pictures of him with a crazy man bun and a crazy outfit and he sends it to our family group chat text message and all the boys and i just roast him and he's the biggest best sport about it on the planet all right like
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I don't know who you're talking about, but the one thing that he's always been so fun about and gracious about and, like, my favorite attribute of his is how self-deprecating he is.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Let me ask you this. After the baby started crying, did she leave with the baby? No. Wait, they pushed through the cry in the theater?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So the Tiger King guy, I don't know if we've told this story on the show or not, but like back before he was incarcerated, Josh was doing photography and he got hired by GQ. And I go, what are you doing today? He's like, I have to drive to Henrietta or Marietta, some small town, Oklahoma. And I'm photographing this guy that lives with all these tigers. Yeah.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So Josh drives out there and he meets the guy and his two husbands at the time. And he does like an all day long photo shoot of the Tiger King, Josh. And Josh is out there with the man bun photographing this, this guy before he goes to prison and before the documentaries made and before COVID. And so I remember he came back and go, what was that guy like?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I've seen the billboards on my drive to Dallas. Sometimes what's he like? He goes, the craziest fucking shit you've ever seen. He's gay. He's got two husbands. He has a Donald Trump flag up, but then he walks around with a gun on. It's the weirdest fucker I've ever seen in my life. And he's rolling around with all these tigers. I go, was he nice?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
He goes, yeah, I guess I was a fucking freak, but whatever. You know, Josh is pretty low key about stuff. So then COVID happens. Everybody watches the Tiger King and then everybody wants photos of the Tiger King. So Josh's phone's like ringing off the walls because he has like... thousands of pictures of Joe Exotic with all the tigers.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I just think your fascination with it and the fact that it's escalated to looking at websites and the declarative statements that you never marry or date anybody in prison. I think it's going to happen for you. I just, I do. I do. I think, and I think you'll justify it. You'll be like, you know, I didn't want to date anybody that lived in the same town as me.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, I can see like if it's a newborn baby and you're thinking like, okay, this baby's sleeping, you know, six hours at a time in the middle of the day. So let's go see a movie. But if I did that, the very first, I would be trucking towards the door immediately because I would just... be so concerned about upsetting a viewer like you.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I just, I think that's, that is really weird. And here's the thing. Like, when you get to That whole performative parenting and trotting the kid out, I just always think a lot of that is a red flag for something.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Okay. This white woman on a playground, a little autistic, I believe, maybe on the spectrum. I could be getting the facts wrong. Kylie, you can Google it. The little boy, the black boy, maybe tried to take her son's toy or something. Very typical playground stuff. Nothing alarming, nothing troubling. You know, we say, oh, honey, that's his. And everybody moves on. Or, oh, hey, Cher.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Well, she goes and grabs her kid, her white kid, and calls the five-year-old the N-word. And doubles down and triples down on the N-word. No. It gets posted on the internet, and MAGA has raised, I think, close to a million dollars in this woman's defense that called a five-year-old boy the N-word. That's who these people are.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
They claim they're not racist, but the minute they can send somebody who uses the N-word money, they do it. But then they say to the left, oh, you just think everybody's racist. Well, maybe quit.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
calling five-year-olds the n-word but and then they all send money but something that i mean something i have thought about you and i both know somebody who is racist that uses the n-word and you said to me you think this person does not believe they're racist and i can't quit thinking about that yeah i would think if you if you put truth sermon i think
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I really don't think they do. And you think they would say that word to no matter who the audience is?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So they're just surrounded by other races. Right. When you tell me that, I've been thinking about that. That is devastating to me that a person could do that with impunity. Oh, it's gross. And not be in as a society that there is a correction, that there is a... That word and that history has been painful. It has been egregious human rights violations that that has not been reconciled.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And it's still living and breathing in 2020. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids, so they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Like, I think about not being the disruptor in a situation like that. You form an agreement that everybody's going to go to the movie and everybody's going to shut the fuck up and watch the movie. Like, I'm even cognizant if I'm opening up some candy and the papers, I wait for... The rapper rattles really loud. I wait for like a loud sound in the movie to be the noisiest. Right.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It may be Homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that Homes.com is the only site that that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be homes.com we've done your homework you guys my dogs are the pickiest eaters on the planet it drives me insane and their pickiness is what led me to switch to spot and tango's unkibble it has been a total upgrade and Tubby and Cha-Cha eat it up like it's their favorite thing in the universe.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, and this is like human-grade food, which is why my dogs like it so much. It's not this hyper-processed kibble that you traditionally get. It's un-kibble. And our Frenchies listeners, I'm telling you guys, they love it, and they are just as happy as can be healthier. And I've noticed mine just look svelte now that they're on the un-kibble.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Listener, upgrade your pet bowl with Spot and Tango un-kibble. For a limited time, go to spotandtango.com slash had it. And use code HATIT to get 50% off your first order. That's spotandtango.com slash HATIT, code HATIT, to get 50% off your first order. spotandtango.com slash HATIT. Again, that code is HATIT. You guys know how dog-obsessed Pumps and I are.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Like, we enjoy our dogs, and we'll just say it loud and proudly. a little bit more than we do our children. So their health and wellbeing is incredibly important to us. And that's why today's episode is proudly sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. When you have a pet, you love taking care of them because in their own way, Let's face it, they take care of us.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But even if you're the best pet parent in the world, unpredictable things can happen. Fortunately, you can always give your care a boost with ASPCA Pet Health Insurance.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
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I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Company Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It is. And I just think sometimes when you see people in public, it's just sometimes it's fine just to be like, hey, how are you? And then that's the end. You don't have to come over and squeeze them and start asking how their kids are. Sometimes it's just fine to do a good, you know, A warm, a wave emphasis like, hey, it's so good to see you. And then just let everybody have their space.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Because I get so tired of seeing people in public and then feeling this obligatory, like she said, if you're in the manicure pedigree, do you have to go over? Do you have to catch up? Do you have to say where your kids are going to school? What grade your kids are in? What sports they're playing? Does anybody even really care? Do I really care about the answers to their questions?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. It's like, it's like a weird dynamic where we need to stay connected, but what level are performative pleasantries more like damaging than they are helpful? You know, like, cause for me having to sit through that damages, I leave damaged. You know what I mean? I hear a lot of information and it takes a lot of time that I'm never going to get back.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And I feel damaged by the obligatory pleasantry. I would rather just do a real firm, hey, hey, hey, and then just mosey on. How was that again?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
like to thumbs up just you know like good to see you like you're you're a person that i kind of like and then just and that's it skate out yeah you know because then i realize like as i'm talking to these people sometimes you already know what everybody's doing by virtue of following each other on instagram Right. So it's really as way more unnecessary than it used to be.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I met this woman last night and she said, this is going to seem weird, but I know that you're friends with such and such because I follow her on Instagram and I've seen her post pictures of you all. And I'm like, yeah, I am friends with her. So then we talked about the mutual friends kids. You know what I mean? Like, how'd we get here? We didn't need, we don't even need to talk.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Just hi, nice to meet you. Hi, nice to meet you. Eh. But we feel so obligated to have these conversations that I ended up talking about kids that weren't my own. She was talking about kids that weren't her own. And I can guarantee you we both left the moment damaged. Neither one of us left that moment better people.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. I just think kids in general, you know, there's just certain places they shouldn't be. Now, listen, I have empathy for the child care situation and how difficult it is to raise kids. I can see that you would want to go sit down and it's during the baby's nap and it's a Sunday and And you just need like an hour or two away from the nonstop onslaught of parenting.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You know? I just don't think it's helpful. I'm all for having a helpful conversation. Like if you see somebody and they're like, oh my God, Angie, you know, I... heard that you were sober and I read your book and that helped me so much. And I just wanted to say, thank you. That's a helpful conversation, right?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You know, that that's a helpful situation, but Oh my God, my kid, you know, he just started second grade and we're having problems with the teacher. Yeah. You're like, is that damaging or helpful? It's damaging. Yeah. We'll put that in the damaging category. Lesbians have damaging conversations.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I feel like when you have kids. That's when it kind of changes. I just feel like when you have kids, you go through a period where you're just trying to raise them and keep them alive and fed and out of a fire. I don't have a memory of small talk bothered me or not. I'm kind of thinking it would have.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, I know it would have because I remember like when I would come home, if the babysitter gave me too many details about the care for the children, I started mentally checking out.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
This is what I think. I feel like maybe we're corrupting Kylie with cynicism. Yeah, cynicism. I mean, that's just... Well... You know, I mean, it's just tough work. Yeah.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So just you're more prepared now. Yeah. I do think we're identifying obstacles that you can be aware of in your future. Right. I think it's helpful.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
That's the thing. Here's the thing about being blissfully unaware. This woman sitting to the left of me was blissfully unaware. And then all of a sudden, she discovered everything that she believed in her life to be true and decent and good was bullshit. And to talk about a spiral down a toilet with green slime and despair...
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
She literally, you guys, she would look at me and say things like, but everything was supposed to be perfect. Yeah. So that's what happens if you believe the blissfully unaware lie. Yeah. So I think now I really, you know, there's like there's some people in my life that are like apolitical. And what do you think about that? Like, part of me, I'm jealous. Right. That's what I was going to say.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Of that, like, but I also think we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that that's a privilege. Right. When politics don't affect you because you have enough money and the right color of skin and you live in the right neighborhood, et cetera, then you have the luxury of being a political person.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But if you're affected by something, if you're gay or you have a gay child or you're mixed race or black or, you know, on a student visa or what have you, then you have to give a shit about it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But the second the baby cried, you have to go to the lobby and miss part of the movie. You just have to. It's just not open for negotiation. I completely agree. Okay. I'll tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with my iPhone doing things without my consent. Mm-hmm. And I have a few issues. Number one is it has completely decided on my emojis, the frequently used emojis.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, you know, I think that when people get to Fox News and if they can literally watch 20, 30 minutes of that and genuinely think that their intelligence is not being insulted, then there's no help for those people. Like, because every time I watched or even see the clips that we play on IHIP News, I think, do they think I'm dumb? Do those people sitting there talking think I'm dumb?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And then I realized like the problem we have with education, I think of the national average of reading level sixth grade or something. So you have people that are not big thinkers or deep thinkers, critical thinkers or voracious readers or learners. They all gravitate to the stupid factory, to the dumb factory, which is Fox News. And it makes them dumber.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I mean, like when I watch it, I think I'm getting dumber. Like I lost an IQ point in the last half hour. Totally. There's no critical thinking. It's just this histrionic freak out, the libs. They don't even stand for fucking anything. They used to stand for small government. And now they defend Donald Trump blowing the government up and overreaching. Right. You know, it's insane.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Not following the law. Yeah. Yeah. They suck. All right. I guess is that it, Kylie? Yeah, we should probably just call it on that note. We should call it on that note. Oh, my God. We have a book that's coming out. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan. Now you're drunk. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. Please go to our link in our bio and pre-order the book.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
We are also doing a live show in New York at the 92nd Street Y on May 27th. Don Lemon is our moderator and make sure you get tickets for that. It's the only stop we're doing on this book tour because we don't. Want to be out with people. Basically. We're agoraphobic. Yeah. Trump's America is making us agoraphobic. So come to that show to see us. Get groups of friends together.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And we'll all be a bonobo. Yes. Of the bonobo show. And then we have merch and a bunch of other shit. And so just follow us and pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
They're completely reorganized. They're not the ones that I frequently use. I don't know when this happened, but I go in there because I send emojis often at the end of a sentence. I might add a heart. I might add an emotional face to relay to the receiver of the text message my angst And I go in and all of my go-tos are gone.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And it's all this new set of emojis that are not emojis that I chose, nor did I consent for them to be on my frequently used page. That's number one. Number two, I don't know if anybody else listening to this podcast or one listener, listener, tell me if this has happened to you. So in like 2008, 2009, we all get on Facebook, right?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So you're on Facebook and you see all these idiots you went to high school with. You see how stupid they are. And it's just, you know, it's just a free for all, right? Well, it's people's birthday and you're getting like posts on somebody's wall, blah, blah.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Well, at some point from the time I got on Facebook to probably, I don't know, six or seven years ago, I noticed on my iCal, it would be like Joe Blow's birthday. And I'm like, who's Joe Blow? So I have this guy, and he deals with Mac computers, and he's called the Mobile Macster. So he comes by my office a few years ago.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Patriots, gay-triots, black-triots. I mean, there you have it. Welcome to America's Top DEI podcast, broadcasting knee-deep into Trumpist America. And we're not going to stop. Nope. Because we still have the First Amendment for now. For now. For now, we have it. But a bunch of MAGA people that like to dry hump the American flag want a dictator. Yeah, they do. They like it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I'm like, I have all these random people's birthdays on my iCal, and I can't get them deleted. He says, oh, yeah. Several years ago, Facebook collaborated with Apple and transferred all of the Facebook birthdays to your iCal. The only way to get rid of them is to manually delete each birthday. Oh, my gosh. So I've also I've turned off like do not display birthdays in the iCal. Right.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But then if you get a new device, then that setting is not activated. And I'm not the most techie to go into settings and figure that out. Right. And so we got these new laptops, you and me. And so I'm looking at my calendar and it's like. Today's Joe Schmoe's birthday.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Well, Joe Schmoe, some schmuck I went to high school with who is, you know, I mean, knee deep into right wing conspiracy theories, thinks he's got a Ph.D. in virology and just a total moron. And it's like, listen up, Apple.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I saw enough back in 2008 when I took a gander on this kid's profile and I saw what an abject shit show it was and his life going rapidly downhill at a rate the likes of which this country has never seen before, to quote the sitting president.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
And then to have it still follow you around on your devices for the birthday, I just think that this is a breathtaking invasion of my devices and my apps from the emojis to the birthdays.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Well, they are in our phones. I mean, that's why that one guy's, you know, head out in Russia all that time, Snowden. But anyway. Um, I, the emoji thing, that was a real, that was, I'm just like, this is, you did this without our consent. Right. Tim Cook. Like we, we pick our emojis. You don't pick our emojis. You don't get to decide what are the best emojis for our life. We get to have that.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You have all of our information. Elon Musk has everybody's information. We've all just kind of, I guess we're all okay with that now. Let me at least preserve my favorite emoji. thing that's left. My favorite emojis. Maybe that gives me a new toy game, like my favorite pony. Okay. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, the HBIC.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Earlier today, we found out the difference between a beaver and a badger. A beaver is aquatic and a badger is not. Right. Okay. All right. I would like to share some news with everybody. First one is about 0.7% of the world's population is drunk at any given time. That's roughly... 55 million people are drunk right now. I'm surprised it's that low. I kind of feel like that's a low number too.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You always hear that 5 o'clock somewhere thing. I just think about all the hammered people that you're forced to be around at parties that just repeat themselves over and over that you don't want to be near. And I always think 55 million has just got to be way too low. Or maybe these people are just so fucking annoying that even though it's only 0.7% of the population –
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Oh, it's the worst. The only way to tolerate a drunk person is to be drunk. Absolutely. It is the only way. Okay, next up. Dogs offer more emotional support than most people. New study finds. I have to tell you from personal experience, this is 1 million percent true. My dogs provide me with a lot more emotional support than human beings do. They love me unconditionally.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
They always want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. They always want to be with me. They always look at me lovingly. And the people in my life, from my husband to my children, it's rather inconsistent emotionally, rather disappointing. They might love you.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, especially knowing how anti-MAGA he was too at such a young age. Such a young age. That would have been major support to say, God, I mean, he cracked the case so early and he's just a young little pup. He's a young little pup and he could recognize it. Okay, next up. The next story is bonobos in the Congo form girl groups to fend off male aggression.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It's very clear that you don't want to overstep as a male bonobo. Three decades of observations in the Congo. The only place the endangered bonobos are found in the wild lend support to the idea of a sisterhood where female bonobos band together to assert their power. And so I loved this story so much when I found it. And then it made me think.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
That's the, you know, a crazy person that wears orange makeup that runs around talking about Hannibal Lecter in isolation. I understand that. I totally get a singular crazy person. I even get that singular crazy person have three or four crazy friends. I even get that. The 70 whatever million that voted for him, that's the part where I am just like, Jesus fucking Christ.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
About all of the white women who don't want to band together with us right now. That's right. Because, you know, you see all these women in Trump's administration and they are in those positions because of brave women with courage and intelligence that buck the system and said, no, women deserve to be.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
at this place women deserve a seat at the table and these women ride in on these coattails and then just sit down and bend over to patriarchy and they want to tear it all down and the same with that demon queen scott besant the secretary of the treasury he enjoys civil rights and uh marriage and uh children a gay marriage, and children of two gay dads, which I support all of that.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
He enjoys those rights because of liberals that knew that you couldn't sacrifice human rights and civil rights just because you wanted to make a buck in the economy. And that's a fundamental problem with Americans. They value profit at all costs. All across the board. That comes first. Human beings come last. And I just think it's really gross. So I want to be more like a bonobo.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I kind of. But let's go back to the bonobos, you drunk ass. Lush. I love that. Like, I feel like that's where we are right now. And, you know, it's not just these blanket statements like women supporting women. I don't think those are helpful. No. I don't think that's a helpful statement because I don't want to help Marjorie Taylor Greene. No. I don't want to help Nancy Mace. Like, fuck them.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But fuck them that they completely betray all of the hard work and just completely disregard history and the history of women's rights. And then they get to these positions and then they just want to dismantle it. It just, it really pisses me off. And so I just think we need to, okay, we're Asshole Island. The beaver is our mascot. And now we are a tribe of bonobos. And listen up.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
If you're a, if you're a gay triad or if you're a heterosexual male, you too can be a bonobo because that's what women do. We're inclusive except for the hateful MAGA triple Trump or white women. Fuck you. Fuck you. This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Every time I use booking.com, I find a place to stay in the U S I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I'm just going to tell you, pumps, now that the sun's back out, we're spring, approaching summer, I'm wearing my sunnies all the time, but it just really irritates me because I'll have them on, I walk inside, put them up on my head, put them back down, and then it's getting all wrapped up in my hair. No moss, sis. I have discovered Shady Rays. Doesn't happen with Shady Rays sunglasses.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Patriots, gay-triots, and they-triots. So what are we? We're the blue winged hawk. Blue winged hawk. Here's the deal. Here's the deal, listener. You still get to be a patriot. You still get to be a gay-triot. You still get to be a they-triot. You still get to be a decent person. You still get to experience joy. Nobody can take that from us. But right now, we're all sharing a lot of despair and
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
God, and I believe it because I think influencing in the right wing manosphere had a huge impact on the results of the election. All right. Next up in the news. I don't know how I feel about this. Well, I know exactly how I feel about this. It's not good. Let me read this to you. Nude pickleball is taking off. What? Nudist resorts across the U.S.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And moving forward in our podcast so that we can all stay sane, we'll address the pain that we're all going through. We'll address the need for all of us to mobilize, form a community and launch the resistance. But we also still get to laugh. We also need to remember that we still get to experience joy. So in that regard. Meemaw's been having a hard time, you guys.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
are experiencing a huge surge in popularity for nude pickleball. These clothing optional destinations are expanding their pickleball facilities and hosting tournaments to meet the demand with enthusiasts finding it a comfortable and freeing way to enjoy the sport.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Here's the thing about nude pickleball. I'm going to put this – and you all know I love racket sports. But I'm putting this right there in the Stanley Cup category. I think this is a slippery slope. I think nudist – here's the thing. If you want to be naked and you want to go to naked resorts and you want to swing, swing for the fences. I don't really give a shit. But playing sports –
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Naked, I don't understand the psychology behind that. Maybe I shouldn't be judgmental about it. Maybe I shouldn't be a lot of things. I just don't understand the psychology behind naked sports playing. I would think you would want everything kind of secured.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Well, I would imagine if it was four well-hung men, I don't know what would happen. Now, if it was four well-hung men, distraction over.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I'm just saying. Okay. Wait, let's just, okay. You're at the pickleball courts and there are four well-hung men playing pickleball. You think you might just go over and tap, tap and just take him out to the car and just do the dirty? Like, I'm proud of you. In my mind, I would. But I know that I probably wouldn't in real life. You know what? In the upcoming Trump's America, I say we say, fuck it.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Just do it. Go grab a naked pickleballer and just make out in the back of the car. Ride that pony. I do like a little car sex. I mean, I did back in the day.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
She's over here, boodle baby, crying. She keeps calling me a titty baby and she's not wrong. I mean, it's titty baby city over here for Meemaw. It's actually very sweet. But Meemaw, what have you had it with? Okay.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
All right. What we have prepared today as a means of feeling some joy and laughing is we have gone to our Patreon members and asked them to share, is it Kathy, their first date experiences? Dating, online dating horror stories. Online dating horror stories. Okay. So the first Patreon member we're going to hear from is Rome. And Rome says, I was supposed to get drinks with an older white gentleman.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I came to the bar and he was already drunk and Having drank three sangrias before meeting me. He then started fetishizing my ethnicity. Could not carry a coherent sentence. Had the audacity to have the bartender remake his espresso martini because it had no kick. And before the bartender could finish remaking it, he walked out the bar leaving me alone. That is awful. Rome. I'm so sorry.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I am so sorry. So sorry. And I think the words here that identify the red flag are older white gentlemen. Right. There's your clue. But I have to say we on our YouTube, we have a lot of men in the comment section that are like, hey, I'm a I'm a boomer white male and I love you. So I always want to make a carve out for them because they're boomers are the ones that fought these fights originally.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay, Brooke says, my one and only online dating experience happened freshman year of college. My date was supposed to meet me at a sushi restaurant because fuck, letting a stranger pick you up. He was 30 plus minutes late. When I called to see where the fuck his string bean ass was, he said that his truck ran out of gas and asked if I could spot him the money to fill up his tank.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I blocked his number, bought myself sushi and met my now husband the very next week in algebra class.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I mean, it's not even that long of a post. Brooke, A plus. A plus. Presentation. You show us the fuckery. Yeah. She landed the plane. She launched a solution. I feel uplifted.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Agreed. Okay, next up is Becca Louise. And she always has the gay pride emoji flag next to her. And you know, Becca, that we love you. Okay, so it says, Oh, I'm so glad you asked. In 2014 ish, I got catfished by a girl in a cult. Her name was Christina. She claimed to be 26 and we met on Tumblr. We video chatted for like over a year.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So I thought she was legit until one day while chatting about a TV show, I asked if she was an 80s or 90s baby. She full ass hung up on me and I was like, OK, sus. Since I moonlight as an FBI agent, I asked for her ID. She sent me one with a fake birthday handwritten and taped over her real date. Her excuse was that all Tennessee IDs are handwritten.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Luckily, I have an IQ above 70, so I knew that wasn't ever even possibly a little bit true. Yeah. Yeah. If you're curious, the cult she's in is called the Irish Travelers in Memphis, Tennessee. They are grifters. Apparently, they dine and dash a lot. They dress their kids like they're in beauty pageants 100% of the time. And the women are arranged in marriages starting at about 13 to 14. Oh.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So, yes, very sad that she is a lesbian stuck in a Catholic cult, but also manipulating a 20-year-old girl for over a year a little on the fucked up side as well. That's as concise as I could get. Top of the morning to ye and yours. Love, Becca Louise XO. Top of the morning.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
That is a nightmare. I mean, Becca Louise, I'm glad you solved that mystery.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay, next up is Jaylison Leap. After chatting for three days straight with John, he asked me out for dinner at the Chinese bar in Camden Town. We had a lovely conversation and the food was great. He was attentive and talkative. Great, right? Wrong. Right before asking for the bill, John started to hyperventilate.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
His face became all red and he looked so in distress that I had to ask the waiter for help and an ambulance was called. After the paramedics arrived, he gradually started to look better, but I was so worried that I decided to take him home. Right before saying goodbye, he looks me straight in the eye and says, did you like my little act at the restaurant? Oh my gosh.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I was and still am so shocked that unfortunately I never felt comfortable enough to go to the cheese bar. Fuck you, John. I love that fondue.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Yes. So listener, I'm sorry. I screwed that up. It's a cheese restaurant. Oh my God. That's trauma right there. Yes.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And Jaylison just wanted that fondue. And now I can't even go back.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
What about what kind of sociopath? Did you like that little act I pulled?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November for, you know, just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right. Okay.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Next up, we have Georgia and she says, I have such a good one. Met this guy on Bumble. He seemed relatively straight-laced by his profile. Met for drinks, and I could tell there wasn't a spark, but he was nice enough, so stayed on and had a lovely chat and two wines. At the end, he asked if I wanted to go to his place on Thursday, two days later, for dinner.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I said I'd have to check my schedule and get back to him. I knew it was a no from me, lol. Anyhow, I got home and he texted saying how much he enjoyed meeting, etc. And I gave him the sorry news that I didn't feel a spark, but good luck with his search. A few texts transpired with me trying to shut it down kindly.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
He then confessed he was a dominant looking for a sub and proceeded to send me a photo of his whips and chains, plus a rogue kitchen utensil wooden spoon. I don't want to yuck someone's yum, but this is totally out of line and not something I had showed any interest in, nor was it clear on his profile in any way.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Thankfully, I found it fucking hilarious and told all my friends this story and we laughed and oh, we laughed. It was just so rogue. I said to my gay bestie, what the fuck would have happened if I had gone to the dinner on Thursday and he said, dolls, you'd be tied up in the basement being spanked. It was so wild, but so wrong in so many ways. LOL.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Not saying I wouldn't be open to trying some funky things, but consent always applies. Please and thanks. Georgia. I mean, here's the thing. Like the online dating world, you have people that are genuinely looking for a date. Right. A traditional style of a date where you take some time and see if there's a spark. And then you have people that are looking for a hookup. Right.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And then you have like fetish people that are looking to play out their fetishes. And here's what I think that we can make. We can impact change listener. If you're on Bumble, which I assume is just that's just straight up dating, right? They need to have the like fetish websites online.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Maybe like I don't think you should cross contaminate the people that are looking for a traditional date. If you want to, you know, put a ball gag in your mouth and go for it, you know, peg you. Swing for the fences. That's fantastic. But don't contaminate it with Georgia who was just looking to meet a normal person.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Let me ask you this. If you were dating a guy and you liked him and he said – and you always say you want to date somebody that lives out of town. And you liked him. I mean everything is 10 out of 10. And he said, hey, will you send me a picture of the dragons? Would you send tit pics? No.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I think when iPhones and stuff came out, I think I'd send a little. Of course. Yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Just to remind the listener, isn't this the same son that you had to take the shit in the cup on the side of the highway? You just couldn't go past that, could you?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
No, we love you, Sam. He's the best kid on the planet. He really is. And he loves his mama. He does. Okay. Last one, listener. Hudson. Hudson says, when I was 19, I talked to a guy via text for about a month. He definitely love bombed me and made me feel desired, which caused me to overlook a lot of red flags. He would make questionable comments about my Cuban heritage.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I blocked him after he told me that he has a kink for taking people's virginity and that he was into me because I look like his brother. What? I later found out he was a total catfish and none of his pictures were him and that he was actually a 50-year-old man. I learned a lot from that experience. I have to say, you guys...
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
That kind of shit, like for Gen Z, millennials, or even people our age, because I mean, all people of all ages do date. The catfishing component is wild. And I think it's so sad because I think some people are so lonely. And we so want human connection. And then we're making them via text or via instant messaging on a computer. And a little bit of flattery and love bombing, it feels so good.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
You can get intoxicated by it, especially at a young age. You can fall prey to superficial flattery. You're more susceptible to it. And they just get sucked in. And then the heartache. And then if you realized it wasn't the real person, then you would... be mad at yourself. And I just, Hudson, I'm so sorry. Yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
But that was not even that was just complete, not even online. Listen, I'm referring to the time that Pumps had the unwilling affair with a married man. The only time I've known for her to date since she got divorced.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Well, all right. Listen up, listener. This is kind of how it's going to go moving forward. We have to come together. We have to laugh together, cry together, you know, share stories together. And we all still get to live our lives and still get to form a community. And just because we're laughing at something doesn't mean we're neglecting something else.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So don't fall into this trap that I can't laugh right now. I, you know, blah, blah, blah. We are human beings and we get to have compound feelings and compound emotions.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
We can be devastated about the election results, worry for our well-being, worried for our friends' well-being, and then also make space to come together and remember certain things about the human experience, which are camaraderie. laughter, and togetherness. And that's what we want to offer you all moving forward.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Again, if you just need to dive into the politics portions of this, you can listen to our daily podcast, IHIP News. It's all on the same YouTube channel, but if you are a listener and not a video watcher, it's IHIP News. And that's usually every day. If we feel ambitious, we do it on the weekends. And then we have a show coming up in New York City. New York City. Yes.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So please get your tickets for that. It's called the People Suck Tour. And I just can't think of a better title for anything right now after these election results than highlighting how badly people suck. Yeah. I think that that is like spot on. We have a cult. Yep. Patreon. And I think that's all we have.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Blue winged. The blue winged hawk. And I'm glad you brought that up, Pumps. Because listen up. We are re-birding. We're re-birding. We got to re-bird. We're re-birding. Okay. I still like eagles. I do too. I do. But I feel like we need our own bird. Yeah. I feel like we, and it's the blue winged hawk. It's kind of a mascot. It is our mascot. I want to get one. Yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Yeah. If there is one. Anyway. All right. Listen, tell them what the blue wing talk says. Right now it says caca. But at some point we're going to we're going to find our caca back. We're going to get it back episode after episode. We're going to get it to where it is robust. A little bit every day. A little bit better every day. Yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I think that parking lot awareness is something that needs to be highlighted. I do not trust the incoming administration to tackle this. So we here at I've Had It Podcast are going to try to tackle these things that I'm sure the new fascist authoritarian government will ignore. And parking lot awareness is something that we can do together, listener. We can make change.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
We can implement change in parking lots. It's something tangible that we can do. Thank you for bringing that to the listener's attention. Let me tell you what I've had it with. You and I recently returned on a flight to Oklahoma City and we landed and we were on the tarmac and the pilot comes on and he says, Oh, listen up, folks. Looks like there's another plane at our gate.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
We'll push off in about five to ten minutes. So we're just going to sit here and hang tight. We'll let you know when we're able to push forward. I look out the window. Much to my surprise, there are about six gates with no airplane attached to them. No airplane parked there. And I'm thinking to myself, why can't you improvise? Why can't This airport say there's somebody at gate seven. Right.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
But gate eight, nine, 10, 11 and 12 are available. So why don't you all just push to one of those so we can get these people off of that bird? It makes me insane. You have to improvise. Improvise for God's sakes. Nobody likes flying. But the people that run all the flying are. could take measures and do things to make it a tinge less painful.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
A solution that I could see from my little window, my little oval shaped window, I could see I have a solution to this problem. Right. And I know that I wasn't the only person thinking that.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
That's the thing. When you go to other airports, how many times are we on our way to a large city airport and it says gate change? And then you get through security and then there's another gate change. And then you get to the gate that you thought was changed and they've changed it again. They're improvising. Right. These little things.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And what we do is we build communities. And we have been building a community for the last two years of this podcast. And the community remains. The camaraderie remains. The cynicism remains. The grievances remain. The laughter remain. And we still get to share that with one another. But Pumps and I would like to really reach out to the marginalized members of this community and say, we know.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
smaller airports of second tier cities, they are not improvising. But listener, I'm going to tell you what, we are going to have the mayor of Oklahoma City on this show soon. And Kylie, write down this. I want a list. There's a list of things I'd like to talk to him about to impact change on a local level. Right.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And number one is Will Rogers International Airport's ability to improvise to make flying less painful. And I'm just going to tell you, listener, where we can impact change, we're going to try to do it. Micro level. Micro level. Parking lot. This lesson today, parking lot awareness. And then step two is we're going to have the mayor of Oklahoma City on the podcast to address this issue.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I want to confront him about it. I need to talk to him about this. There's some other things. I'll save it for the episode. But I actually have a list of things regarding the airport. And listen, anybody that works at Will Rogers World Airport, my grievances are not with you. I know that all of you all are doing your job. My grievances are with the boss, whom I believe might be the mayor.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Listener, this is what you call elder on elder abuse. Yes. This is this is elder cannibalism is what this is. I should have more empathy.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I'm going to be in my volunteer jacket and I'm just going to be talking people's ears off. Should be yak mouthing. But you know what I'm going to do when you do that? I'm going to have a referee jacket on and a whistle. And I'm just going to start regulating people. I'm going to be like, you know what? I want to be unhinged in my final days. I want to blow the whistle. I want to scream at people.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I want to revert back to what it's like being a toddler. Just completely unhinged. Completely unhinged. I like the sound of that. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is still America's greatest legal mind. And we're going to need you now more than ever. Kylie, what's going on with our reviews?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
It's hard. It's really, really hard. You know, I really empathize with a lot of members of the LGBTQ plus community who have parents that didn't vote for their rights. And we recently were copied on a text from a friend of ours. And his dad won't support him and his marriage and their child. And it's just it's so stupid. It haunts me. For this crazy man. It's just it's just awful.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
But I I want to say this like. This is different. This election is different. If this were John McCain, Nikki Haley, Mitt Romney, I can disagree with them policy wise. I have a really hard time with people that triple down on this guy and where they fall morally. I do. And I I know that our listener does, too. And it's just it's a it's a walking red flag.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
It is a walking red flag into somebody's true character, in my opinion. It's on fire.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
that this is especially painful for you and that it especially feels personal. And we are here. We are still your podcasting mothers. And we will always fight the good fight for you because we value you over the cost of eggs. We value your right to exist over all of these other crazy things. And so just know that you matter and that we love you.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So I know how Gen Z is taking this because my kids are Gen Z. But Kylie, why don't you give us a report from millennials? How are the millennials? Y'all came up in the Obama era. Yeah. And how are y'all taking this?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Right. Yeah. You know, it's going to be starting January 20th and then moving forward. It's going to be just a daily sustained. horrific fuckery day after day after day after day. And we have to band together. We can talk about a lot of things in a 40-minute episode, you guys. We can talk about how terrified we are. We can talk about how disappointed we are. And then we can shift gears.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And this is what friendships do. That's right. And then we can laugh together and still try to experience some joy. So every Tuesday and Thursday, we will still continue. I've had it. And it's going to be a combination of oh, fuck and whatever. I've had it. And let's giggle and love each other. And then Monday through Friday, we drop daily IHIP news for those of you that want political content.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And I know that a lot of you probably think right now, I don't want political content. That's not the answer. We have to stay educated. We have to stay motivated. And we have to fight for what remains. And hopefully, we still have the First Amendment. Right. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. OK, so now I would like to segue over to some news articles that Kathy has pulled for me to share.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
The first one is a new research survey of 1000 people suggests that Gen Z trust influencers more than their friends.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Yeah, I think that this is the shortcoming for Gen Z, and it's not Gen Z's fault that cell phones came out at the time that they were growing up. But that's their first stop, where when we were growing up, our first stop was to pick up the phone and call a friend and have a voice-to-voice conversation. Right.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And I do him as well. Yeah, I think joking around between any kind of partnership, female, male, spouse, not spouse, roommate, just makes things easier.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And I mean, I have had it. I have had it when the instructions, when you sit down for a show are, do not record this with your iPhone. It could endanger the performer's And they pull out their phone and they record it. So I've had it on many levels. I've had it with people that record everything. They walk around and record everything. Enjoy your life. Don't record it. And guess what?
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Shopify is so great for any size business because it's so user friendly and helps your business get off the ground without overwhelming the business owner.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And you always see about a half an inch to an inch of ass crack. Oh, I've seen so many ass cracks from him. Like every time I see the top of his ass crack. And so here's what amazes me about this.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I wonder if it's because he is the ass crack extraordinaire. It's something else, isn't it? Really? I had never thought about the juxtaposition. Right.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
There were times when this would have been the dream marriage. This would have been the gift problem. Dream problem. Yes. Like if that would be my problem, I'd be the happiest person in the universe. Why doesn't he care about his ass crack showing? Okay, two things. Number one... Maybe he can't feel it because it's never down far enough where he could like a plumber's crack.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
You know, it's just the first little top. And I have put my finger in the top of the crack before. I've just been like, hey, and pushed it and then he'll pull it up. So it's either he can't feel it or because he can't see it. He just doesn't care. That's what I think.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
There is nobody on the planet that wants to watch anybody else vacation videos of them walking down a street. Secondly, I've had it when the people ask you when you're at a show, please do not record because the phone light impacts and could compromise the safety of the performer. And they pull their phone out. This happened to me twice. I was at a Cirque show over the weekend.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
We might have some listeners that have the exact same problem personally or with someone close to them that could help us out. All right.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
The biggest giveaway for all these people that have keyboard courage that they're stupid is they cannot spell nor use contractions appropriately. That's always your first clue. Okay.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
This is one of the things that irritates me to no end is this. You can only have Christmas under Trump. Christmas won. Christmas wins every year, every holiday. They're the winner. Whether it's Trump, whether it's, it doesn't matter who it is, the president, people celebrate Christmas.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And you know how they do. Like they're on bars. They're holding themselves up in the air. Like it's dangerous. This stupid woman, I'm confident she was MAGA. Yeah. She pulls out her phone to record and the light is like, the flashlight is on because she's recording and it's dark. So the ushers have to run down, shine a light in her eye. Okay. You'd think once is enough. She won't do it again.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Well, at least we know he or she was not a racist at all, the person that wrote that.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Sometimes you just have to talk to someone that's not emotionally attached to you or your problems because they have the best perspective. And that's why I love my BetterHelp therapist. I love that I can do it from home. It's so easy, convenient, and I do not feel this massive impatience like I do when I'm at a doctor's office waiting.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
The exact same person does it again. And I wanted to stand up and I wanted to say. Are you entitled? Are you dumb? Do you not give a shit about other people? Are you just a dick?
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And the answer I would have respected most is a dick because at least she would be acknowledging that she doesn't give a flying fuck about anybody but herself and all the people at home who are dying to watch her video from her vacation, you stupid twat.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Having pets should not be hindered by how much it costs for their health insurance. Ollie, my new puppy, has had several things and I'm so grateful that I have health insurance for him because the costs are high.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Right. Especially 14 times. I just wonder, I just do sit and kind of ponder the super faith and family, you know, purity culture that is supporting this guy in such massive numbers, how they reconcile that. I would love to know that.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And I'm stupid for asking that question because having been in that, logic is not an issue. And you always go into denial that you're right. You're better than other people. It can't happen to you. That kind of thing. So what Elon Musk is doing, it couldn't happen to a good faith and families person. Right. Okay.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Go Trump. You know what's interesting? What we didn't see in these responses? Well, he's not orange. Nobody said that.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Have these people never taken the time to like Google the onion? I guess not.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Oh my God. Like really, like I get caught on satire sometimes, but I always ask. I certainly don't comment before I ask.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I bet all of these people had big kindergarten graduation parties. There's no question. You know, I was thinking about something you said a while back, like people have to take responsibility for what they read and listen to. They have to take responsibility to find facts. And I think this right here is the perfect illustration of that playing out in real time.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Right. That's my exact thought when this was happening. I was like, why doesn't if she's so dying to preserve this for the rest of her life, why doesn't she just go to YouTube and get a decent video instead of her stupid cell phone? I mean, I couldn't stand her. I wanted to just run over there and grab that cell phone and throw it on the ground and stomp on it. But I didn't.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I think we need to start bullying people that watch Fox News.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Yeah, I don't love Vegas, but I do like the shows, and I really liked the concert I went to.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I completely think that is a wonderful had it. And it starts with the participation trophies. Like instead of the winner gets a trophy because they won. Everybody gets a trophy because they participated. I feel like that's where it starts. Probably starts before then, but that's like, you're not going to walk into work and everybody goes, oh my gosh, Jennifer, you came to work today.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Oh my gosh, that's so great. Nobody cares. That's the expectation.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I completely agree. And let's not forget to mention that it's a law that you have to go to school. So just because you're following the law and going to school, nobody needs a sign in their yard. I will tell you, we were driving by the other day. Normally, the first day of senior year, people are like, proud parent of a senior graduate 2025 student.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
This woman had a sign in her yard for her child's graduation in May of 2026. She's two years ahead of the curve. And I just want to knock on her door and say, you need to shut the fuck up.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Okay. I don't want to add fuel to the fire, but this just popped in my head. What about a kindergarten graduation? I can't take it. I cannot. That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. That is so stupid. Yeah. I don't know when this started, but it is stupid. It is unnecessary. And I really feel like it's on the parents and the school for allowing it.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I know they started having it like maybe the second, I don't think they had it for the first child, but I definitely know that I've been to a couple. Yeah. And I thought they were stupid then. I think it's stupid now. A lot of stupid things came out of that school though. I mean, that would just be low on the totem pole of stupid. Welcome to I've Had It.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Oh my gosh. That's so nice. Never in my entire life did I would think that that would be applied to me, but I love that. It's so nice.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Hate. Hate. Fucking idiots. Total idiots. Like, I'm embarrassed for these people.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Okay, let me ask you a question because I only have that kind of annoyance with those type things if I don't like the person. So that's got to be some kind of selective. It doesn't apply across the board for me.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
But if you were more irritated with me, it would bug you more than a day when you're not irritated with me at all, don't you think?
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
All the time? Yeah. See, I just, certain things bug me, but only when... The person bugs me.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Right. I mean, I think that long ago I discovered these people have no shame. Like shame, I think a good amount of shame and fear is a good thing. These people, this is, MAGA is what happens when people have no shame. That's exactly what it, they don't care about debt. Well, I think that goes without saying. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, I'll tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
I hate every part of it. I have to say, I think you can like extrapolate that to anybody you live with. I just think living in close quarters. I agree. Because even your kids who you love more than anything, there are days that you're just like, Anytime you live with... I think living with people is hard.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I know, but it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Like if you can't find lunacy on MAGA on the internet. Yeah, but it's having to look at all of it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I think this is probably 90-plus percent of all of these people at these rallies have no idea what they're against or for. They're like, oh, Trump says be against critical race theory. I'm against it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Okay, a couple things. Obviously, the last guy has never even known or read anything about Trump. He is the most petty, vindictive, mean, cruel, vile human. Of course, he would ban Martin Luther King from Mar-a-Lago. If he were alive, and that's the kicker with these people. It wasn't one. I mean, how many people do you think were just like, yeah, he should have come to the inauguration?
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I need all the beauty sleep I can get because we're going straight down. I mean, gravity has spoken and I need all the help I can get. And I don't know what to do. I mean, it's not like I'm going to get an Android, but I'm mad about it. It just irritates the shit out of me.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
And he sold it better than most. Yeah. I mean, I have to give it to him. He made you think, maybe he really kind of does know what DEI is, but then no. No, I didn't think that. I thought, he's smart enough, though, not to tell you that he knows. I didn't get smart vibes from that. No, no, no, I'm just saying, most people are like, what's DEI? Oh, I hate DEI. Do you know what it stands for?
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Right. There's no question about it. I mean, women are like, oh, yes, please make it where I can't have my own bank account. That's what I want. Black people aren't saying, oh, please make it where we have to drink in a different water fountain. You're right. It's the white privilege.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah, I think that that's a lot of this QAnon because honestly, I mean, here's the thing. Like you said, everybody wants camaraderie, compassion. You're probably not very smart. you probably don't have a lot of social interaction. And now you've got somebody that thinks you're the smartest in the group and you both believe the same conspiracy theories.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
What I have been the most surprised about is how many people believe in like serious conspiracy theories. I just wasn't aware that like over 40% of the population is all in on conspiracies.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah, I just had to spell it through in my head right when that came out. I was like, what?
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Oh, my gosh. Like, here's the thing. Like, I get people, oh, I mean, Trump has sold the bill of goods that, you know, everything's stacked against him. He's a victim. It's a witch hunt. Fake news. But when you are defending the Tates, the Tate brothers. Like, come on. I can't remember who else was on that list, but I mean, that is... You've got, you know, a couple of Nazis. Right.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Of course. Of course they are. And he's, I'm sure, still pocketing it. That's – here's the deal. The grifting, the sexism – The racism, they're just, they're the perfect marriage. Okay.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
No, she doesn't even, she thinks she owned him. Oh yeah. I mean, she's walking away going, uh-huh. Let me show you this Q buddies.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah. Stupid people that are criminals... and hateful, and racist, and cruel, and then hook up with Elon Musk, who just might be the worst of all.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah, I'll tell you what I've noticed since January 20th. And this is a lot of it. How bad when you're trying to make a right turn and it's turned on red, you can do it as much as you want. And the person in front of you is going straight and they don't leave you enough room. to just skate by him behind him. The butt squeeze. The butt squeeze. They block. They're blockers.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
It blows my mind. Didn't we see or hear, didn't we get a voice memo or an email from somebody that there's been an uptick in MAGA hats in parts of Canada? Yeah. I think that's probably going to come to a screeching halt with this tariff stuff.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
It's my gut. If they're so worried about pedophilia, why are they still... Why is the Catholic Church still around? Why isn't QAnon against the Catholic Church or any other church that you have? Boy Scouts. The Boy Scouts. Like, if you're so anti-pedophile, which everybody is, like you said... Because nobody universally thinks that pedophilia is good. You don't have to tell anybody that.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Like you said, it's a foregone conclusion, master of the obvious. But if you're that mad about it and you want to get that riled up, put your eye where it belongs. against these priests or these... Southern Baptists. Southern Baptists. All these, yeah. Nazarenes. Name one. Yeah. That's where, I mean... That's where your ire should be.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I would agree with that. And I also think indoctrination and denial is powerful. Right. And these people have denied, just like me growing up in the super fundamentalist evangelical, it's not up to you to question or critically think. You accept what you're told, and that's that.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
So, I mean, these people think that it's a sin to talk about the church, leave the church, talk about the priest or whatever. But that's a cult. Well, I'm not saying it's not. I'm just saying like they're so conditioned because of indoctrination from such an early age. I don't even think they realize that I am allowing this.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I am enabling this because they think they're doing the right thing because they prayed about it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah, I'm not going to be quite as intellectual as you, but when I see a Cybertruck, I immediately know they have a small penis. There's no question because no motherfucker gets in that ugly-ass car that isn't trying to overcompensate for something going on between his legs. I mean, that's just my opinion. When I see these Cybertrucks, I take a good look at the driver, and I can just –
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
my small penis radar goes off or my small penis radar off the charts.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah. And here's the deal. They're lining up to bend the knee to Trump and Musk. They are. Yeah, it's gross.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
You would still have plenty of things to gripe about. Win, lose, or draw. That's consistent.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is my iPhone. And not just because I hate Tim Cook right now. But because I hit Do Not Disturb and it has in the Focus app, it schedules when you want to be on Do Not Disturb. So I've scheduled it from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. It never comes on, not once. I've turned it off. I've turned it on. I've had Kylie double check.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Right. Here's the thing. First of all, a profoundly unattractive human from the jump. Right. And then it just gets worse with each makeup outing. And my whole thing is, if I'm a billionaire, I'm going to pay the very best of the best if I'm going to make myself be on TV every day and say completely stupid shit that makes no sense. I'm going to say it in a beautiful, well-done face and makeup.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
When I lie, you're going to say, she might be lying, but her makeup looks great. She's done a great job. Instead, you get all the lies, all the BS, and terrible makeup. Like it's a distraction from the distraction of the lies. Right.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
No. Well, I will tell you, I can answer that question. Had he not won the election, he would be going to both federal prison and then state prison because he is a criminal. He would have been tried and convicted. There's no doubt in my mind. This is why I'm an atheist.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Here's my thing. I completely get if they don't smell, but if they're going to school and they smell, they're going to be bullied. So I would be far more worried about how their friends and peers would react than I would to her time schedule. If her kids are age 6 to 11, they can take a shower. Like they don't need her.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I've gone and scheduled personal. And I still am getting flashes in the middle of the night when, like, news stories hit or notifications. And I've had it. And this has been going on for weeks. I've done everything I know to do. I would normally say it's me, the operator, I'm the problem. But I had Kylie look, and she couldn't figure it out either.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
So while I agree, I don't think you have to bathe them every night if they don't smell. But don't put them in a situation where they can be bullied. That's what I think.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
So what are your thoughts on this? I just stop and get in and get outer. I don't linger on the potty. I go in, I do my business, I get done. So I can't really relate. Like if I take a big steaming dump, the last thing I want to do is sit in it. I want to get in. I want to get out. I want to be done. So I don't.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
And then I kind of, I mean, maybe this makes me a very simple person, but they're describing all these bad things that happen when you sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes. What about if you like sitting in this chair for more than 10 minutes? Is that bad? Or is it just because your ass is hanging out?
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Yeah. No, if I have to go, I have to go. It's just, that's what, that's when it's going to happen. I mean, you've gone in like that tire store. Yeah. Now I'm not as liberal as I used to be because I'm not as regular, you know, but I, Make no mistake. If there is a need to poop in a 7-Eleven bathroom and that's all she wrote, I'm happy to do it. I can't stop it. I've been with you multiple times.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
So you can really hold it like that? Yeah. See, I just can't. I cannot.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
I'm very impressed by that amount of self-control. Because I mean, I just have to do it when I do it.
I've Had It
Breathing Stupid Air
Well, I know Kylie is just fantastic in every way, but finding maga lunacy on the internet doesn't make her a research specialist, but... You know, I love you, Kylie.
I've Had It
See You Never
Bye. That's perfect. See, that's still pleasant. Okay. Let's see if we could do that. Okay. How would you, how would you do it better? I feel like that maybe left a little, cause I said, it's great to see you. Like maybe it would be better to say, okay, you do me. Oh my gosh, Jennifer, I haven't seen you forever.
I've Had It
See You Never
Don't you? Yeah. I have something to do here. It's so great to see you. I'm running on, I've got to run. I'm on a time clock.
I've Had It
See You Never
Okay, but let's say you say that and you're at a restaurant and you don't leave the restaurant or you don't get on your phone. Do you have to fake getting on your phone or you just... You okay with them thinking you're an asshole? I think you're just okay with it. I'm okay. I mean, we are assholes. No, I know. So I'm saying I'd be fine with that. But I think you could say...
I've Had It
See You Never
I think... You think she was screwing a guard? I 100% think she was screwing a guard. I mean... And my knowledge is extremely limited, but I thought like when you do IVF or artificial insemination, you know, you have to keep it at a certain temperature.
I've Had It
See You Never
I mean, I could see it maybe if you had an immediate turkey baster, but putting it through the AC vent, the temperature thing, saran wrap leaks, like I think she's fucking around and she didn't want her boyfriend to know.
I've Had It
See You Never
I think we need DNA testing. 100% we need DNA testing. Can they just do that?
I've Had It
See You Never
No, I think somebody has to ask for it. I mean, you'd have to have a legal reason to ask for it. Like, I wouldn't have standing to call up Miami-Dade and say, I need a DNA test on this. I'm not buying this.
I've Had It
See You Never
But I think that it's a reasonable request. I think you could lead it up. I'm going to run out to Miami-Dade County. Yeah. I'm going to tell them. I want to get to that. I'm not buying. Don't buy that for a second, not for one minute.
I've Had It
See You Never
Well, you know why they replaced the priest. Right. I was going to say this almost makes sense because the priest, you have to worry about sex and all that with minors and abuse. So I think that's as good a use as any. I think this is brilliant.
I've Had It
See You Never
And it's 100%. Like, I would assume you wouldn't have to worry about... I don't know how worried Catholics are that the priest talks to other parishioners about stuff, but I would assume it happened.
I've Had It
See You Never
You're ugly. You're ugly. And that's just the end of it. I think the only thing I would add to that is you're ugly and nobody likes you. Yeah, nobody. Everybody hates you.
I've Had It
See You Never
So relatable. I have been known to get on... I don't know how to access my neighborhood deal, but I've got the neighborhood app. My neighborhood has their own little Facebook group. I'm not on that. But I can access the neighbor... And sometimes I get on it and I'm just like... What in the fuck are these people doing? This is not the place for this. But yet I can't get it. Right.
I've Had It
See You Never
I mean, I like it. So I completely relate to that. Yeah. And there is nothing grosser on planet Earth than somebody trying to sell you something or does like a super cute video. I'm so adorable. And their house house is filthy in the background. Clean up your fucking mess before you post it on the Internet. It's gross.
I've Had It
See You Never
It's just go hand in hand. Yep. Yeah. I mean, the conspiracies and all that on Facebook. Yeah. I'm not on Facebook for that very reason, but I do agree. Facebook marketplace fucking sucks.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yes, I absolutely have noticed that. And I have noticed it in myself more than I've noticed like earlier in my life. Like I will look to see what the weather is going to be like two days from now, which why do I give a shit? What am I going to do about it?
I've Had It
See You Never
That's a great tip. That's a great tip. I will take that correction. Neither here nor there. It's neither here nor there. Neither here nor there. Okay.
I've Had It
See You Never
Am I saying it now? Abdicate. Abdicate? Advocate. Advocate. Yeah. You always say abdicate.
I've Had It
See You Never
I'm going to be the asshole, but I've already had it with all the Christmas music everywhere I go all the time. It's relentless. It's the same songs on every channel. I've heard them a million times. The only Christmas songs I want to hear on repeat are the Mariah Carey one, All I Want for Christmas is You, and the George Michael, the Wham one, Last Christmas. That's it. It's the...
I've Had It
See You Never
I completely agree. I just hate it. Any kind of captive audience where you're captured on a plane, in a subway, in a car with somebody, but that you have more control over. And you're sitting there and somebody, you can't get away. That's the grand standard. You cannot get away. You're trapped and you have to listen to this.
I've Had It
See You Never
Fuck yes. I do too. I don't think anybody thinks that's a good idea. I don't think she was trying to be efficient. No.
I've Had It
See You Never
No, I don't either. I think it's elitism. I mean, we think we're so much better than everybody and we're the only ones that have this problem or two other countries. I don't know who they are besides us. But I agree. And it's always been rumored that we were switching to the metric system. I heard that when I was in grade school. Haven't ever done it. I'm with you.
I've Had It
See You Never
I don't think we'll ever be able to do it. I mean, we've got so many bigger issues. We don't even have health care.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah. I think it's a lag behind situation. Plus, we're one of the only countries that, like, I feel like everywhere else you go, they can speak at least get along in other languages. And most people in America only speak English. Yeah. It's Trump's America.
I've Had It
See You Never
Some weather. That doesn't tell me what we're in for. I will say this. Sometimes in a pinch, when you're in an awkward situation, like conversation or with somebody you don't really know, but like maybe you're trapped with them at a table, like you're sitting there and you can't, I have been known to pull out, boy, it's gotten so cold. Can you believe it?
I've Had It
See You Never
Somebody rear-end you. Well, I guess this is what happens in Trump's America. You just run into the back of each other's cars.
I've Had It
See You Never
That's all we have for today. Pumps tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
See You Never
Just because it's a universal something to make conversation with. I don't like to do it. I hate it when I have to do it, but there are some times I feel like There's just nothing else to talk about. I'm going to be the resistance.
I've Had It
See You Never
Silence. See, I would love nothing more on the planet Earth. That if I could just sit in silence. Because I just have a hard, hard time. Like sitting at a table where you're seated with someone you don't know. And it's just the two of you. It makes me too nervous not to just talk. I would love to embrace silence. I'm sure the person I'm sitting next to.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah. I was actually interested though in what we were talking about. You were talking about our podcast. Yeah. I just... I'm just one of those people that I will pull out the old weather conversation, which I know it's preferable to everyone around me if I would shut the fuck up and embrace silence. Like, act like I'm in an airport or on an airplane. I'm invisible. Everybody else is invisible.
I've Had It
See You Never
But it makes me really uncomfortable in those kind of settings. At this stage in civilization, everybody has a device in their hand.
I've Had It
See You Never
Some weather. No, I completely agree. And talking about weather is the lowest hanging fruit.
I've Had It
See You Never
You're the worst at numbers. That was terrible. You ask Kylie anything and she rounds it up by 10, 15,000.
I've Had It
See You Never
It's a barrage. You can't go to the grocery store. You can't go to a furniture store. You can't walk in any place of business that is not playing nonstop Christmas music.
I've Had It
See You Never
I think that's a great goal. I mean, that really is a great goal. I completely agree with this. The nail salon, I remember back in the day, I went to the same lady and I knew everything about her life. And I am so happy now that our new nail place, they don't really talk to us. They'll talk if you want to talk, but they don't feel burdened. To talk to.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah, no, I completely agree. Especially here's what drives me crazy. And I should make this a habit. It's a great reminder. Why? Why? On God's green earth, are you trying to have a conversation with me when I have earbuds in? Like, hold on, I'm listening to something. Let me pause it. And they just keep talking. And then I'll make a point to like play it again. And then they keep talking.
I've Had It
See You Never
I'm like, if I wanted to talk to you, I'd take my earbuds out. It'd be real obvious I was dying to engage in a conversation because I would take my earbuds out. I would put them in my pocket and then you would have my full attention instead of me going back and forth hitting play on my phone. I think that's one of the ruder things people do.
I've Had It
See You Never
Oh, I think I might go crazy. So you're laying there captive for 45 minutes or whatever. See, I just enough. Yeah. I like it in doses. I agree. I completely agree with you.
I've Had It
See You Never
A little bit goes a long, long way. I just don't think every business has to play it all the time.
I've Had It
See You Never
What about if you said, when somebody said, how are you, why do you care? We haven't seen each other in 10 years. Why does it matter? See, I like that. I mean, that's just, you don't even have to go into anything. How are you, why do you care? Why do you care? Do you think that's a personal question? Don't you think that's a little invasive? Okay, this reminded me, this comment.
I've Had It
See You Never
Remember the last couple times, I can't remember when it was, but we got our nails done. And there was a woman, you and I were on one side of the salon. There was a woman on the other side of the salon. I had my earbuds in. I watched an entire thing on my phone. And that woman yacked you up the entire time.
I've Had It
See You Never
time and we've never talked about it oh screaming across screaming all the things you hate in life idle chit chat screaming across the room loud talking and i have to say it was such a did you enjoy that i got so much gratification out of it i loved true friendship i would giggle every few minutes like because i could tell you were trying to end it yeah and it wouldn't i was using closing you were using
I've Had It
See You Never
And then you just like push a button in it that they come out. The quills come out like, OK, she she doesn't want to talk.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And the last thing you're thinking about is hurting anything that they do. And that's the beauty of the thumbs up. Sometimes it's fun to be passive aggressive. Sometimes passive aggressive is a tool that's in your toolbox that you can fuck with people that you work with that you don't like.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
What I have to say to Gen Z is learn how to harness being stealth, passive aggressive and quit demanding love and red heart emojis from everyone because the world is a very disappointing place. Hone your passive aggressive skills. I like that. Hone them. Get better at it. All right. And in a related story...
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
news of teens who don't enjoy life has doubled thanks to social media study reveals research published in nature communication indicates that the impact of social media on life satisfaction varies across different stages of adolescence the study found that during certain developmental periods increased social media use predicts a decrease in life satisfaction one year later
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I really might explode. I'm 100% concur. It is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for the people that say it. I'm embarrassed for these people that they can just never quite say, you know... I supported him and it was a huge mistake. Right. All the red flags were there.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And here's what I have to say. I get it. When I'm on social media a lot, I'm not as happy. I don't – the idea when I'm like down on my phone like this looking at it for longer than 20 minutes, I think, ew. Put your posture up. Put your phone down. Live your life. There's a whole world out there that you want to see. But I do kind of think these two things are connected.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
this artificial world of social media and getting butthurt over right thumbs up emojis like people need to live their lives and don't project like into social media too much as to filling a void and don't put a burden on the recipient of a text with what emoji they should use
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Okay. Today, you guys, we have a great guest. His name is Senator Chris Murphy from the great state of Connecticut. And this is a man when Trump first started his second term. I know that we all felt national paralysis and fear and like, what the fuck is going on? And it felt like the Democrats weren't fighting. It felt like there wasn't a cohesive message. And there was one constant fear.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
with the exception of Bernie Sanders, AOC, that really spoke the truth. And I would think, are they seeing what I'm seeing? And then I'd go to Chris Murphy's Twitter, and he was seeing exactly, and he would explain it perfectly. And this man is a fierce defender of democracy.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
He's a fierce defender of equal rights, civil rights, social justice, the things that are important to all of us here on Asshole Island. So let's welcome to I've Had It, Senator Chris Murphy. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
The felony charges, the grab them by the pussy, trying to give a microphone a blow job on the campaign trail could have been a really big red flag. And I just got sucked up into the moment and it was a dumb thing to do. And now I'm ready to join you all and fight for this country. But instead, these MFers, I think we're talking about a double digit IQ situation or just breathtaking, uh,
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Homes.com, we've done your homework. All right, let's welcome to I've Had It, a fierce defender of democracy and fighter of fascism, Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut. Senator, thank you so much for joining us. How are you today? How's your job going? How's work?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Right. Yeah. OK, so we like to start off with just a daily petty grievance. And so we ask all of our guests what they've had it with. So, Senator Chris Murphy, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah, I get that. We're big Oklahoma City Thunder fans, and they're like the top team in the NBA, which when you live in a little market city like ours, it's a BFD, to quote the former president. And same thing, they're probably going to make it to the playoffs, and it's so expensive, and you want to get good seats, and you want to experience the ambiance.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
But I want to share with our listeners something I thought was really wholesome and sweet about you. We were trying to book you and we kept, we like to, Pumps and I like to film at like 8 a.m. And your staff said that you were unavailable because you like to take your kids to school.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And I just thought in this world of all this horrible Trumpism and all of these horrible men that are trying to be so macho, that just was like, I was like, oh, he takes his kids to school every morning. I loved hearing that.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
narcissism. They just cannot reverse course. There's not a shred of decency to reverse course.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I was really happy to do it. But I'm worried about young boys in this country right now. I have two sons. Pumps has two sons. You just mentioned that you had two sons. And we have a president that ushered in Andrew Tate. He had, what was the name of that boxer?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Conor McGregor at the White House, the president himself, we all know what he said on the Access Hollywood tape, adjudicated rapist, all sorts of just horrible misogyny that seems to be mainstreamed.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And I know there isn't a political fix for this per se, but just as a dad and as a parent, what can you speak on to this rising surge of misogyny and that the boys in this country, they just don't seem... like they're OK. And it really worries me.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
So ever since Trump 2.0 started, there was this like paralysis, nationwide paralysis. And all of us were kind of searching for the truth. Who's going to speak truly about what's happening and what we're seeing? And consistently, Senator, you were one of those people that I saw on MSNBC or I could go to your Twitter page. And I was like, he's telling us, he's verifying that what I'm seeing
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
and pardon my language, but this fuckery is real and that they're doing this on purpose and they're doing this for sport or for Vladimir Putin or for both. And you spoke about it and it was so comforting because knowing the truth, even if it's not what you want to hear, At least you know that that's the truth.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And so with these tariffs, you see all of these Americans losing their 401ks that they paid into their whole life. And then they may be thinking, oh, this sucks. I'm going to have Social Security. Well, we know Elon Musk has called that a Ponzi scheme. And a lot of your co-workers are trying to dismantle and privatize that, which is not going to end well.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And so when I went after these tariffs, I went to your Twitter page and you had the most logical example and you beautifully wrote that you think this is an additional attack on democracy so that corporations and business would be beholden to Trump. He likes reducing people and reducing businesses.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
to come to him and kiss the ring which brings me back to my one point a lot of this is done for sport for a broken man with inner child issues and it's manifesting in the united states of america
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
It's overwhelming when you think about the tens of millions of people that went and voted for this man. And here's the thing. You can only look at videos of him. not of any spin from either Fox, where they would spin it favorably, or from CNN or MSNBC, who might spin it unfavorably.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
All right, let's do a little trash talking on your former coworker, Marco Rubio, and what an abject disappointment little Marco has become. And I think Trump kind of pegged him when he first ridiculed him back in 2016. I am just so embarrassed for him because he knows better. He knows what happened with Zelensky in the Oval Office was an ambush for a party of one for Vladimir Putin.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Russian state TV is in there. And he just sits there and goes along with this bullshit. And I just, I don't know the guy personally, but you do. What is your take on this, the emasculation by Donald Trump of so many of these MAGA men? And, you know, there's a theme that's running through this whole conversation with you.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And it is this masculinity, either, you know, realized or unrealized or in search of. But Donald Trump consistently enjoys emasculating people because maybe Freud would say he's never been realized before. as a strong man himself. But, you know, we'll do a psychology episode another day. But let's gossip about Marco Rubio.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Eliminate all of that and just watch videos of him, starting with the blowjob microphone situation, and listen to what he says after that. And then ask yourself, Should this person be in charge of anything, of anything, much less the United States of America? And the problem with Trump 2.0 is now he's surrounded by equally inept. morons at a scale that is just staggering.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah, totally. Okay, another person that I've totally had it with, I've always had it with him forever, is obviously Mitch McConnell. But the fact that he's now like an asshole that's finding a moment of clarity really sits in my craw because it's just like, dude, you've been an asshole forever. You built power.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You fed, you coddled, you rocked this entire beast in this moment where we are right now. You're Supreme Court. You dicked over Obama. You're one of the main architects of this entire dismantling. And now you found Jesus and you're voting like he voted a couple nights ago with you all. And it just pisses me off because it shows that they just like to own the libs for sport.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And then when it gets down to it, he's like, oh, shit, hold up. I don't I don't want what I do. Well, yeah, it really pisses me off. I mean, like, what's it like when you see him at work?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And the incompetence from Signalgate, you know, texting the war plans to these harebrained tariffs that are tanking the global economy, to denying people due process, disappearing people off the streets, one poor gay barber shipped down to El Salvador. And I think what is so maddening about the whole thing is that I know that there's millions of Americans that enjoy this.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
FX's Dying for Sex, all episodes now streaming on Hulu. Okay. And then there's just one senator I just love. And I just, I need to know, we've had him on the podcast, but it was via Zoom. I just love Bernie. You know, I just feel like he just puts on his mittens and he goes to work for working class Americans. And he's always had the same message. And he was right.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
He was right about so much about the pitfalls of capitalism. And then in America, you were kind of talking about this earlier, where We operate a lot under the assumption, we assume that because somebody is a billionaire, that they're a genius.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And I think anybody who's seen an interview of Elon Musk, and it appears that he speaks English as though it's his second language, I'm like, I don't think that guy's very smart. I mean, I'm just not, I'm thinking he's an opportunist, an intelligent person about how to create an opportunity. But Bernie has been calling this out, this oligarchy and sounding the alarm. And is he fun to work with?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Or is he always just kind of like that Muppet character?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
i agree with you that that's the message moving forward for the democratic party you know we are based in oklahoma city red state trump dump already christian nationalism here you know ranked 49th in education so we can always make the argument to people if you want to know what republican policies do Look at states that have Republican supermajorities. Their economy is not the best.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Poverty, bad education, bad health care, et cetera. But the one thing I like about Bernie's messaging is that it's an inclusive message. And it is that if we fight for economic equality. equality for everybody, that means everybody.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
So to, you know, Bob and Karen that live over here in rural Oklahoma, you might think that a trans kid is the worst thing you've ever heard of, but we can't see their rights because once we see their rights, then they're coming for the lesbians and the gays, and then they're coming for the women. And then before you know it, they're coming for you. And the corporations control everybody.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And what I like about Bernie's message is that it can encapsulate the left side of the party and the center, everybody, because it's equality for all. And I don't think the message right now is to run to the center and hang out with Liz Cheney. And look, we have a Republican that likes us.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'm just like, we can't give somebody a trophy because they looked at Trump and said he's a moron and he's dangerous. Like my kids did that. They're teenagers, you know. So I think that.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah, exactly. And so anyway, I I'm so happy to have you on because I've been like psycho stalking you the lot because you tell the truth. Like you tell us the truth, like what you're seeing is real and it's some really nefarious shit and it's really happening. And so I was wondering, like, does does Chris Murphy have Riz? And I was like, after this interview, I'm like, you've got some Riz.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You have Riz. Yeah, you've got some Riz. But we're going to play a game with you. I'm blushing.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah. All right. I'm going to lighten it up a little bit. I have a relatable non-political grievance. I've had it with bathroom procrastinators. Okay. And what I'm talking about is you're traveling with a friend or your spouse and you're sitting in an airplane gate and you have an hour that you've been sitting at the gate.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Democrats cannot be risk adverse. I mean, when you see everything that MAGA politicians have done with impunity, if you misstep, if you misspeak, if you say one thing one day and then you talk to a bunch of voters over the course of the next two weeks and you evolve your opinion, so freaking be it. I mean, because at this point, as a Democrat, I'm always going to say like.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You voted for a guy that tried to give a microphone a blowjob on the campaign trail. And you want to preach to me about my vote? Fuck off. And that's what the attitude I think Dems need to have. OK, we're going to dive more into the riz of Chris Murphy with our next game. And it's called Had It or Hit It. And so I'm going to list something. And if you like it, you'll say hit it.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And if you don't like it, you'll say had it. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Pat it. Pat it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Okay. Group chats, especially on Signal app. Had it or hit it?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
strategic okay be careful like don't do work yeah i'm all for signal chats just like less more signal chats less war plans okay okay two more had it or hit it cyber trucks had it totally agree peeny weeny micro penis parade um all right last one had it or hit it speaker of the house mike johnson
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Senator Murphy, thank you for joining us today. Keep fighting fascism and fighting for democracy. We really like you and tell your kids you were on a cool podcast in Carpool tomorrow.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Bye. Bye. He does have riz. He has some riz. I think, you know, I love that he trash talked his coworkers. I love that. Because everybody loves to talk shit on their coworkers. Everybody loves it. And you know if you were a senator or a congressman, the trash talking at that level. It's epic. I mean, that is like peak trash talking.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And so I'm glad that he came on here to do a little trash talking of some of his coworkers because everybody likes to do it.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
As they should. As they should. I mean, bitching about your boss is just something that you do. It's a rite of passage. And if you... don't expect to be trash-talked at work, then you're probably in the wrong job. I would be disappointed in them if they didn't trash-talk us. Right. Just don't let us ever hear it.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Okay, guys, listen. I know that this has all been overwhelming, all this MAGA stuff. Trump. But we all meet here on Asshole Island. Pops say it. We will see you next Tuesday. Oh, the fuck?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And then the flight attendant says, we're going to start boarding in one minute. And then your travel partner says, I'm going to go to the bathroom right now. And you're like, wait, we've been sitting here for one hour.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
There you go. There we go. Okay, listen. We have merch. We have a book coming out. The link will be below in the comment section if you're on YouTube. Make sure you're subscribed. Pumps and I, listen. We have a very ambitious, lofty little goal here. We are trying to get to one million subs on our YouTube channel. And... And surprisingly, it's within striking distance. It is.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
But we need your help because for two barely competent broads like Pumps and me, we need this other YouTube trophy. We got one. We got $100,000. We were really excited. Oh, my gosh. We were so excited.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'm 50. I'm 50. Okay. You are such a bitch. You said that like we, like it was a we, and I just wanted to, I just wanted to inject in the permanent record. I'm significantly younger than pumps, but we do want that trophy. We do want the trophy. Okay. So subscribe, get your friends to subscribe, log into your friends, YouTubes and subscribe there as well. We love everyone.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
We're going to get through this together. We're going to fight for democracy pumps. Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm caca that's it that's that's caca that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You've had one hour to go empty the tank and you're choosing to do it now when we all have to shuffle around and get in line and make sure we do everything properly and efficiently. Now you're going to the bathroom. You do this.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
We've taken the eagle back off the shelf, rebranded her thanks to a great listener. Right. And we've got to fight on and try to save this country. But before we do that, it's time to dip our toes into some petty grievances. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
But what about the five minutes before that? You know the flight takes off at 1. Well, here's what I do.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You're not taking it on the plane. Right. But then that means I can't board. Haven't you boarded? Yeah, because I started making you take your shit.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
The strategy, I understand a little bit. In Josh's case, listener, Josh is my husband. I think it's literally like he's just into his phone or whatever it is that he is. And it's just like, oh, shit, we're about to board. I better go empty the tank. It's not an intentional.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
But I do kind of think it's chicken shit to leave your stuff with somebody then who is then who wants to board on time, who's then held hostage. Because you know how I am about that kind of stuff. I like to be on time.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yes, I just have a whole rhythm. And then sometimes I'm at the mercy of, in your case, this delayed peeing strategy. It's a strategy. And in Josh's case, just... Irresponsible urination is what I would call it. It's just that's just flat ass irresponsible urination. It would have been more responsible to have done it five minutes before.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. All right, Kylie, speaking of dehydrating on planes, our listeners tend to follow a little bit of politics, follow a little petty grievances. And everybody knows that last week, Cory Booker,
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
The senator from New Jersey broke the record for the longest speech on the Senate floor because he's passionate about fighting for democracy and fighting for equality for everybody and trying to save this country from the idiot Donald Trump and his moronic cabinet, micro penis parade cabinet. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And interestingly enough, Cory Booker went online and talked about how he prepped for his 25-hour speech. And I think Kylie has a clip.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I immediately, I saw that and I emailed it to Kylie immediately. And I was like, you and Senator Booker intentionally dehydrating him for democracy. Kylie, because she's a germaphobe. Right. And because airplane bathrooms are gross.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah, I like it. But you know what's interesting is every time I've been on a flight with you, you get up to pee. I know. It's awful. But I'd get up to pee twice as much. If I didn't try to dehydrate. I'm just a peer. Yeah, you are. You are. She's a big empty the tanker. Okay, I have some news stories here today that I would like to review. Okay, excellent.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
The first one is, study shows cows hate country music. Okay. And listening to it makes them produce less milk. Research indicates that music tempo and genre can influence dairy cows' milk production. Slow, soothing music, such as classical pieces, has been associated with increased milk yield due to its calming effects on cows. Conversely, country music does not. And here's what I have to say.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
What's that asshole that just went to SNL? And then played victim.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
That guy. So this schmuck gets invited to go on SNL. He accepts the invitation. This is not a command. This is not your life is in danger. He hops on his PJ and he flies to New York and he does SNL. And then he doesn't want to stay around in the post credit role and hug everybody and commiserate. He abruptly walks off stage. Gets to his private plane and pops up on Instagram.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Can't wait to get back to God's country with a picture of his PJ. And now he's selling merch. Get back to God's country. And I just think. What a whining victim titty baby. This always having to be persecuted when you signed up to go on SNL. And he acts like he was tortured in some liberal bubble. You don't have to do SNL. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Go do, you know, go sing it in Nashville at Toby Keith's, you know, go fuck me bar or whatever the fuck that place is called. But I mean, come on. I've had it with country music, except for a couple of artists like the Dixie Chicks and maybe anybody else who isn't MAGA. But in general, when I when I hear country music and this is old for me, like I always just think Republicans doing bad shit.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Maybe because the lyrics are dumb. There's a tear in my beer and I'm crying for you, dear. Maybe because it's like stupid music.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
They are. I've never seen such meltdowns. You know, Little Mermaid's black. Republicans and MAGA have a fucking meltdown. You're scared of a black mermaid? What the fuck is wrong with you, you pussy? They're mad at Snow White because she spoke out for the actress that played Snow White. She spoke out about all of the senseless killings in Palestine and bashed Trump.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And now they're having stage five meltdowns over her. They are the biggest, greatest, Crying, whinging group of titty babies. It's just unbelievable. I simply don't watch things that I don't like that might have an actor in it that I don't like. I would not go to a Kid Rock concert and then make a whole thing on Instagram where I'm a victim of Kid Rock. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I would simply forego the concert and hence forego being a victim. It's that simple. Next up, we've got a story. Gen Z wants us to stop using the thumbs up emoji as it's deemed too passive aggressive. Gen Z is officially calling out the thumbs up emoji saying it feels passive aggressive and outdated, especially in work chats.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
What older generations see as simply okay or noted, younger users are interpreting as cold, dismissive, or even sarcastic. And here's what I have to say to that. Double thumbs up. This is ridiculous. This is so ridiculous.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
This is the part where there's a weird intersection in pop culture with our podcast, where we are really liberal and progressive and leftist, and we want to lift up marginalized people and validate people's feelings and be politically correct. And this is the part where I'm not at all politically correct, because I say, if you're upset... Mm-hmm. About a thumbs up emoji.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
The problem is not the emoji. The problem is you. And I would predict that as soon as your parents found out you were conceived, there was a hideous, obnoxious gender reveal party. I would expect that you probably schlepped a couple of Stanley cups to work with you when you're upset about the thumbs up emoji. I just think... This is insane to get your panties in a wad about an emoji.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I agree with all of that. And I also want to add this. Sometimes I think a heart is too strong. I agree. Sometimes I message somebody something like, hey, I'm running five minutes late. And then I get the heart emoji in response. And I'm like, you love that? Like, we're at love already? And it's like somebody that I just met, a new client or something. I'm like... We're loving each other's texts.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
That's what the beauty of the thumbs up. It's benign. It doesn't, it just notes an acknowledgement. I see your text. I understand that you're running late. I'm not going to start saying, I love it. I love that you sent me a text. Sometimes the heart is too aggressive for me. And that's why, and there's some people that you text that you don't like.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So I was putting my bra on after the 10 hour flight and I had my bra off. I took it off and I thought, I'm going to put my bra on. I thought, oh, I can just put it on in my seat. That's easy. I've got a double, I've got a shirt and a sweatshirt on. This will be no problem. Did you flash everybody? Fucking flashed. I knew it. everybody.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I mean, I had to like put my arms back in and go to the bathroom because it was so bad. I mean, I looked down and my entire boobs are out. Thankfully for all the other passengers, nobody saw it but me, but no, it was bad. It was like, why did you think you could put your bra on in your seat? Because you just flashed an entire plane.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Which is the sweetest, kindest thing anyone could ever do for me.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Oh my gosh, MAGA energy. See, that review alone right there, like my kids give me shit about it. You give me shit about it. Everybody gives me shit about the texting and driving. And I'm just like, wah, wah, wah. But saying it's MAGA energy, like I'm going to do better.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
We can hopefully blame it on me being tired and on a plane. Well, yeah.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
But boy, that review hits him. Who was that review? That was from Georgie. Georgie.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Georgie nailed it. Georgie just put it in a frame. She just put it in a frame for me. Just laser focused.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I can believe that. Yeah. I mean, I am not surprised at all that men are in their 40s before they hit emotional maturity. I think that makes sense. I think it makes perfect sense. I'm surprised women aren't earlier than 32.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
That's absolutely right. I mean, the 30s for me were the hardest decade, but far and away. Oh, for sure. When you had to put your big girl panties on. and face the day.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
How do you maintain your innocence after you admit it? I don't know, counselor. Why would you say that you did it to continue partying? I thought the punchline was going to be because he didn't want his wife to catch him with his girlfriend. Just the straight partying aspect kind of threw me for a loop.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yes, I agree. That's the first thing I thought of. I know that that is true based on the hate comments we read from the right wing that cannot spell, do not understand contractions, don't know the difference between T-O and T-O-O. I mean, that shocks me zero.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
All right. And I mean, I'm old enough to remember when Donald Trump said he loved the poorly educated because they liked him. And now you've got, you know, The fucking wrestling queen going to be the Department of Education head. So that's nothing but a disaster waiting to happen. So that number is probably going to get higher.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Well, I'll tell you what it shows me. The war on Christmas is now becoming real because people are taking away from the baby Jesus birthday. That's right. And they're adding their own personal
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
excitement to it taking away from that so I mean maybe there's something to the war on Christmas but here's the thing you have all these performative proposals like you know there's video cameras set up you know it's not a surprise to anybody that they're being proposed to because there's a fucking video crew there every single person they've ever met in their whole lives are there witnessing it but I think the miss of all the Facebooks is on the post where they got proposed to you
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
all I want for Christmas is you. I mean, that was the miss to me. If you're going to get, you got to quote Mariah Carey on your post, don't you think?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Within. five years, right? Oh, yeah. You know, having been the person that, I mean, even though there was no social media at the time I got married, I never, it never once crossed my mind what the marriage would be like or the person I was marrying. It was all about the bridesmaids and the ceremonies and the parties. So just from my personal perspective and experience, it
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
that just kind of smells disaster when it's so overperformed, overproduced. It's like you're not looking ahead. You're not playing the tape through. And on a personal note, that's a disaster, just from my experience.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Okay. Up next, we've got Sarah. Do you know what I've had it with? People sending me pictures of their kids or when people send me pictures of their nieces and nephews. I don't care. These are not my kids. I do not have kids. These are not even your kids. I don't care. You're showing me this to make you feel better. This doesn't make me feel better. This makes you, I don't care. I do not care.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
No, I completely agree. And you know, what's interesting is I was just back from vacation and I saw all these other people on vacation and they're taking videos, you know, walking down a street and looking at the monuments or whatever they're looking at. And in my head, I'm thinking, who cares?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
do they think is going to watch these videos because nobody wants to watch anybody else's vacation video much like nobody wants a picture of your niece and nephew just like unless we're family and related I don't want you to hijack my phone with pictures of your kids, especially if I don't have kids. Because if I don't have kids, that tells me I'm not that interested in kids.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It makes me so happy he can be who he wants to be. And, you know, I have a gay Siberian Husky, too. Yeah. It's interesting to me that both my dogs are gay. Yeah. But I feel like I'm a really good gay mom. I do, too. I feel like that I'm open. I encourage it. I want it for them if that's what they want. I'm super proud of them. And I absolutely love... that he found a lab that he likes.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So if I don't want my own kids, I'm certainly not interested in your fucking kids. I have kids and I'm barely interested in my own kids' pictures. I certainly don't want someone else's kids' pictures. Yeah.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
What I've had it with is when you are at a restaurant and the diners at the table seated next to you act like you're one big party and start talking to you. I was just in a restaurant. These people next to us were explaining the menu to us. They just start talking. And I am just like, shut the fuck up. Why are you talking to me? We are not here together. We don't know each other.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah. Yeah, it's so interesting because, you know, in Canada, they don't, you know, they have problems with their prime minister or in other, you know, let's say New York City, they might have a problem with their governor or California. And I'm just like, get a fucking real problem. You don't have any idea what it's like to live under the MAGA stupidity.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And like you said, come over here, give up all your shit. And it goes back to these people... They think he's attractive. They think he's charismatic. They believe his bullshit. They don't see through it. So I immediately have to assume they're just not very bright. And I hate feeling that way because maybe there's another reason I'm just missing it because I don't see the charisma.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I don't see... I'm with you. Like you hear him speak and it's embarrassing. Like I'm embarrassed that he goes and he is the representative for the United States in European countries or other countries. It's... It's grossly offensive the way he behaves and talks and wearing MAGA hats in Canada, Australia, England.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
That's so disappointing because you know how much I love Canadians, Australians and English.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Right. It's a gift for the parent of the child. I say just give it to them. Say, here, this is for the baby because the baby doesn't give a shit. Do you think we wrap it? No, I think that's a great idea.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I like to go to like, I hate showers, but if I do go to a shower and the gifts are unwrapped or it's in cellophane so we don't have to go through the whole unwrapping performative bullshit, I'm all in on that.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I think you should. I think that's, I think it's a great reminder. I will not enable. Nobody wants to do that. Going to a thing where everybody, oh, it's so cute. I mean, it's miserable. Okay. That call reminded me. Okay. Okay. So I'm going through my mail and I have a Christmas card and it just, it just says, you know, like Merry Christmas, happy holidays, whatever.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So this is the guy who put up your Christmas light. Well, I mean, I wrapped my brain. I'm asking my kids, like, do you all know who Jackson is?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Very, in very short order. You think right when we finish filming this? I might. It might just come straight down. Or like last year, I just unplugged him after the first theater. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Jackson. It's Jackson. Right. I mean, I have more interaction with Jackson than any other male in 2024. Exactly.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So did his friends seem to be enjoying his story during that period of time? Because I'm with you. If you pay money to go see a professional basketball game, which are limited, there's not one every single day or twice a day. And this guy comes in number one late and tells a story and monopolizes the whole section around him. Get the fuck out. Nobody's here for you and your stupid story.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So did his friends act like he was obnoxious? Were they trying to kind of ignore him and watch the game?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I don't want you to be at my dinner. The tables were pretty close. Having closed tables is not an invitation for you to invite yourself to my dinner, nor am I going to invite myself to your dinner. Stay in your lane. Stay at your table. Stay out of my conversation. Had it.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah. You know what's so funny about all that? If he only knew that I... Almost got scammed by that same scam. And it was so infantile and poorly executed by the scammer that even I cracked the case. So really, there's nothing for him to be bragging about that he averted it.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It was the best thing that happened to you that I wasn't there and the worst thing that happened to you that he was there. But you know what? You're 110% right. Had I been there, whiplash to get around and we could compare notes at the highest volume level in recorded history.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And let me tell two little quick stories. One, walking through the Chicago airport. The very, very first thing I see as I'm walking. And, you know, I've been completely devoid of MAGA for a week. Happy. I walk by and there's a guy watching Steve Bannon's podcast on his iPad. It was like the first thing I laid my eyes on was someone sitting where I was walking off the plane watching that.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And I just thought, wow. How in the fuck are people this fucking pathetic? This guy is a criminal. I couldn't believe it was the first thing I saw. It was like, hey, you're back in the USA. I'm going to ram MAGA straight up your ass, no lube, immediately. Just fucking here you are, bend over, take it. So that was just like, okay, you're fucking back, bitch. The war room is on.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So then as I'm getting off the 15th hour of a flight, of course, my darling children, one of them forgot the overhead check back or what do you call it? The carry on bag. So we're walking and I'm like, hey, where's the blue bag? Nobody has it. So I have my AirPods in. I turn around. I walk back on the plane. I'm getting the thing.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
You would have thought that I had an AK-47 and was mowing down people on the plane. I mean, there was a guy chasing me, acting like a fucking nut because I got back on the plane. Well, I had my ear... things in. So I didn't hear it. So he's like, I turned around and he's like this far from my face. He's like, I mean, he's like full blown flop, sweating, panic attack. Okay.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And I'm just like, I just got off the plane. I left my bag. It's I'm fine. So he gets off the plane. He starts on and on and on about how once you get off the plane, you can't get back on the plane. He's like lecturing me. At this point, I am beyond tired and irritable. And all I can hear him say over my music is you had your earbuds on. So I immediately go into full blown sassy Karen mode.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Agree. I've told my kids that recently. I'm going to start telling people that I'm agoraphobic. That will save me from so many opportunities to go out and be social. You know what my kids say? Everybody already thinks you are agoraphobic. You are agoraphobic. I am. I just want to be with my dog. I don't like people as much as I like my dog.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And I'm like, oh, so you can't wear earbuds on a plane? I didn't know that. He's like, no, but I mean, I was trying to talk to you about your earbuds. I go, so I just kept going. So you're saying it's illegal to have earbuds on a plane? No. So could I have walked back on the plane if I didn't have my earbuds in? He got so exasperated. And so, I mean, he was just... So upset.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And I was so pleased with myself that I got him into a complete tizzy over my back. And my oldest son was standing there and he was like, as we're walking back, I get the bag. He looks at me and goes, you are such a a sassy Karen bitch. I cannot believe the way you acted. I was like, really? You can't believe it? Because I would think it was pretty believable.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I mean, I just took that motherfucker around the corner 15 times over the airbeds and acted like I never got what he was trying to say. I fucking loved it.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
There's no question it was lack of self-awareness. And what I should have done when he got onto me was say, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that was the rules. But I was just tired and cranky enough to be a complete cunt about it. And I liked it. I liked it a little bit that he got so upset because I just wouldn't go around the turnstile with him.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety. vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But I get so sick of the doubling down on lies instead of just saying, I made a mistake. I have more respect for people when they say, you know what, I messed up and I apologize. I should have done that differently. If I had it to do over again, I would. But I feel like accountability is just in the shithole of the universe.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's nuts. Well, the first thing I thought of was obviously he got a hard-on or sensations of a hard-on when he was getting patted down. And now that's why it has to be turning you gay because he can't have just gotten a hard-on because a guy patted him down because he liked it.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And we raised our kids together. We did. Look at the beavers and they're holding hands. They're holding hands. They're soulmates. I'll tell you what, the more I learn about the beaver, the more I like it. The more admiration I have. When I found out Canada, that was their animal, I was all in. The more articles I read about beavers, the happier I am to be the HBIC.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
The more I read about them, the more I realize that you are the queen beaver. I am the queen of the beavers. Or as the Gen Zer would say, slay beaver. I think it was Slaytriot. Slaytriot.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I'd be more inclined to go to the funeral if I thought that. Totally. Yeah. I'm like, good for you. Do it. I mean, you're celebrating. If that's how they want to get people in the seats, I'm all for it. Of course, China. The U.S. will probably start doing this too. banning strippers next. I mean, well, that's not true because Republicans.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Right. I mean, people like porn. It's just how it is. Here's another thing. Are you a big liker of porn? Well, I mean, I haven't really watched a bunch, but I'm all for everybody else watching it if they want.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
German, not German Shepherd. What's the Doberman Pinscher? That to me strikes me as a MAGA dog. I grew up with Doberman Pinschers. Oh, and they're sweet. They're so sweet. Dogs are generally sweet if their owners are sweet. That's why I think they're hostages. Yeah. Now I thought she was going to go down the line of like white couples get married and their Instagram is updated two seconds later.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. Don't you kind of feel like younger people, like we've talked about a lot, like when we first started working, it was like, do your job, you get your ass chewed. Like there was no raw, raw, Jennifer, you're the best ever. It was very strict.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And now I feel like this whole, all these titles, maybe a way of like rewarding people, like throwing them a bone, like your special participation trophy type thing. Yeah. But I have people have handed me a card or an email or and I'm looking at I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck this is. Like he was so right. It's like the chief senior strategist to GL3. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Not to spread any rumors or anything, just to know what's going on on the inside. Conduct an investigation. Yeah. Just a little inside knowledge.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. What I can't wrap my head around is why Donald Trump and Elon Musk, who are billionaires, have power, sit around and play victim all the time. And does that ever get tiring? Do they ever get tired of the poor me? I mean, at some point, don't you just get sick of saying poor me and look in the mirror and say, you know, maybe I created some of my problems?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
They probably have balls on their trucks too on the back. No. Okay. Let me tell you what I saw yesterday. I was leaving. I was going to pick up the dogs from dog daycare. There was a convertible pulling out and they had their pug like up on the hood or the... trunk, the roof of the trunk, and they're driving away and their pug is standing on their trunk. I was a nervous wreck. I don't know.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I don't know if they thought it was cute. They didn't. They were young, like I would say high school-ish. But yeah, they had this dog. They were pulling out and drove because I watched because I thought, oh, they're going to pull over. Was it an accident? No, they were laughing about it. So the dog is standing on the roof of the truck and they're driving.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And I mean, I'm assuming the dog was on a leash. I don't know, but it scared the shit out of me. And I thought. Fuck. I went in and tattled though.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
That's fucked up. Yeah. I kept thinking, cause it was like, everybody was kind of trying to come in and go. So I thought they were going to pull out of the driveway and then pull over. No, they just went right on. I could not believe. Did they get the, did they turn onto the main street with the pug on the trunk?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
No, they turned on that side street and I watched them all the way till I couldn't see him anymore. And they did not pull over and put the pug in the back seat. I wonder where the pug is. I don't know. We'll have to check today to see if the pug made it back. To me, that's like straight to jail.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. And that's because they were laughing and giggling and watching it. So it couldn't it wasn't like if Ollie jumped back there and I put it in park and slammed and got him out. They were it was part of a whole thing.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
You know how much I love a comfy shoe. And the Italian leather platform sandals from Quince, they are so comfortable and they look great.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It is invaluable to get an unemotional response to what's going on with you. And that's why I love BetterHelp because it's convenient and I can do it from my own home. So I'm less restricted in how I feel.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Why are you ceding to the dipshit Nazis? Right. Well, and they're just coming for everybody. I mean, they're going for trans, they're going for blacks, browns, immigrants. I mean, they're demonizing people and otherizing people in a dangerous way. And we all have to stick together because unless you're a white male billionaire, you are in the class that they're going to come after next.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. And that makes me think there must be a lot of Americans that think they're constantly picked on and they don't do anything wrong. I mean, that just has to be because why would you not be sick of your leaders saying, poor me all the time?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I was thinking about this just the other day. I don't ever remember, and maybe it's because I wasn't paying attention, that people flew political figures flags all the time.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And it's absolutely not. It's absolutely not true. Yeah, I. I completely, I think you're right about that. When I was thinking about it, I do remember those trucks going around. And now we have the Trump flea market with all kinds of flags. It's nuts.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Well, you know what I'm going to say. It's the teeny weeny police. Of course. Because you're overcompensating on a massive scale. These men are. And when I look at what's going on in the political environment, Not to get too political like the one reviewer said, but all of these men, the through line is they have completely capitulated to one man. They have not stood up for themselves.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
They've not stood up for their wives or their values because they've thrown themselves over for an orange face. Oompa loompa.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah, they need gays down there to help them. I'll tell you what, I, you know, it's just really... telling to me that this guy on the back of his head is worried about his sexuality because why would like if you said Angie only lesbians eat sushi I'd be like okay whatever you know what I mean don't you think it's weird that he got triggered by that
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I'll tell you who else is like that. Jesse waters. He talks about gay nonstop, what gay men do. I think there's somebody sitting in the closet over at his house.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah, that's such a great point that, you know, the social justice is catching up. That's a great point. Yeah.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Right. Why don't you have your Make America Great hat on? Why don't you have Trump with a great body on your t-shirt? Here's what bothers me about that. What makes you think you're better than everybody else in the stadium? Why are you special? Why come to the game? Why come to the game? And it's not like I had the same thing happen to me one time.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And this woman I was going through, I mean, she did have on like all Gucci, all designer, like super fancy outfit. But I'm like, why would you wear that when you know during playoff games, they give you a t-shirt? Like, don't wear that. This woman sounds like she wasn't even like super dolled. It was a gray t-shirt. She had a gray t-shirt on.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Didn't you have something weird happen to you last time you sat by somebody that was weird?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Right. I like little small groups of people that I know. And then I like alone time. I like isolation.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's a moral difference. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, HBIC again. That's the head beaver in charge for those of you that are new. I'm Kylie.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Well, you know she doesn't because she's Maggie and won't wear a T-shirt. Yeah.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think there's some truth that for sure I'm shallow. There's no question about that. I can't. And he said we were charming at one point. So I mean, at some point we were. At some point we were charming. That's a one star I can get behind. I can too. That's fine with me. All right.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
There you go. There she finally did it. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is that people cannot take accountability for their behavior or words that they say and just simply say, I was wrong. I'm sorry. I made a mistake. And I just see this everywhere. Obviously, it's highlighted by Donald Trump. I'm sure in politics, it's always been there.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Oh, did I tell you when I was at Parents Weekend at OU, which is college, I had so many young girls like in college that were listener. I mean, I was just like, this is so exciting. Okay. What's next, Kylie?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Well, not only has Trump emboldened it, he leads the charge in being hateful and cruel to people and his followers like it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Because... You haven't made anybody any money. You've simply ordered a hamburger.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And then the vet like rubbed on her. She goes, and I just shaved her, you know, cause she couldn't groom. And I looked at the vet and I said, that's probably what killed her.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Pumps, every single burger joint has a cheeseburger and a hamburger. And when you order a cheeseburger minus the cheese, you're ordering a hamburger.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
So you're out there just, you think in your mind, you're out there just helping corporate America. I am.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
there saving them a slice of cheese every time I get a hamburger at the drive-thru okay Kylie do you know what's going on no I don't okay I love you I really do I've been bitter about that for years and now you're telling me I had no reason to be bitter yeah you would just order the hamburger the number one hamburger yeah but it comes with cheese so you have to say no cheese okay
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And for those of you that don't know, Brahms is like a regional ice cream and burger shop. It's like Texas, Oklahoma. I don't know where else it is. All right. Anyway, I love you. We're going to go. You know what we're going to have for lunch today? Brahms. I'm going to have a cheeseburger. You can have a hamburger. Okay. And we're going to order it accordingly.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I'm going to have Kylie come with us and film it for our social media.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Here's what you are. You are a cheeseburger influencer where you are really gaming the system by saying, I'll have the cheeseburger, no cheese. No cheese. And please charge me for the cheese. Okay. No, I demand that you charge me for the cheese. You put that cheese on my bill.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay. I have some news to share with you. Here's the headline. What? A five-year-old? When the couple told their exciting news to the kids, both the older ones were happy. Evie, however, was furious. The reason for her anger was a surprising one. She wrote... Yeah. Yeah.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
She shared her feelings with her dad, explaining that she won't be allowed to attend the ceremony until she sees a child psychologist. He's saying she doesn't need therapy. She's just a five-year-old with a crush on my fiance. I'm overreacting and she won't forgive me if I exclude her from the wedding.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I think here's something that... Remember our toddler advocacy? Right.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
That we're starting. Right. Aborting school for toddlers. And we are like toddler safety advocates. Yes. Here's what I'm going to say. This involves a wedding. Right. And about five, six episodes ago, we identified places that children shouldn't be. That's right. One of those places is a wedding. Mm-hmm.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And clearly this child is in danger being around her unhinged bridezilla sister that's demanding that she goes to see a psychologist. And here's one thing I'm going to say about the bridezilla sister. I like that she's like, I don't give a shit if you're five. You still need help. You still need to go see a shrink, you little twat. I like it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I like that she has such high expectations of the child. It isn't just, you know, pumping rainbows and unicorns up the kid's ass all the time.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay. Here's one. Research says dogs who have other dogs as friends live longer. A study from Arizona State University found that a dog's social support network significantly influences its health outcomes, with social companionship having a more substantial impact than other factors like financial conditions or the owner's age. I don't know about anybody else's dog, but my dogs are gold dickers.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
If they only knew. No, it's, you know, when somebody, it's always sad when you lose an animal because it's like the fragility of life and you know your mortality and you have these animals that live with you and they for the most part bring you just an abundance of joy so anyway my cat is gone long live kitsky do you think you'll get another cat no No, no. I'm not going to get another cat.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Substantial impact than other factors like finance. Now, I will say that some pets can probably be like, you know, live in poverty. Right, right, right. Yes. Yes. Agree. But apparently dogs that have friends live longer. And I agree with this. It makes perfect sense. They're pack creatures.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
He's a really good boy. I think that this weekend we can take them to the cemetery. And I have something I've had it with. Listen up, listener. When I say that we take our dogs to the cemetery, there's a bunch of keyboard warriors that go apeshit bananas in the comment section. How dare you take your dogs to a cemetery and run over people's graves?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
We are monsters and we are terrible people, but we do not let our dogs run over tombstones. Here's the layout. everybody, all of you busybodies, keyboard warriors. The layout of the cemetery is this. It's a huge, huge acreage. And a part of it is developed. And there's all the, you know, tombstones and deceased people had passed, et cetera.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And then there's the part that they're going to grow into, which is this big open field that is gigantic, like 10 acres. There's not one dead body, not one tombstone anywhere, but it's on the cemetery compound. Everybody takes their dogs and runs there. Yes, everybody. So our dogs go and they run, not near the dead bodies.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
No, they're not even in the same... They're not even... I mean, they're like way far. It's a completely different area. Yeah. And I just want it noted for the permanent record as well. When I'm dead, if dogs are running on top of my grave, it wouldn't upset me one bit. We don't do that. But number one, I wouldn't know it because I'm dead.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And number two, I would want living things living their lives. Right. Because I'm dead. I wouldn't be a narcissistic dead person. Right. I prefer narcissism in life. What about that? Narcissistic dead people is what they're campaigning for in the comments section.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, you would think that it could finally end at some point.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
All right. That's all we have for the news today. I think we have voice memos. Kylie, who's first?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Roman asked me this very question. I could see if I outlived Josh maybe like the last 10 years of my life having a house that's on some land and having a lot of animals.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, I, I do. When Pumps was married to her first husband, first, I've only had one. My second ex-husband. Everybody's got to have a first husband.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
So we're just going to refer to him as your first husband. It makes you sound more like, I don't know. Social? Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Romantic? Yeah. It makes it sound like you're getting laid more than you really are. Okay. Well, I'm all in on that. Okay. So when Pumps is married to her first husband...
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
By the time I started sounding the alarm bells, they were so obvious that we would sit and nobody freak out. We haven't, neither one of us has smoked in over 10 years, but we used to smoke, chain smoke marble lights. And we would sit on my front porch. and light cigarette after cigarette. And we had flow charts about what a lying, horrific sack of shit this motherfucker was.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
He could call and say, what are you doing? And she would say, I'm sitting with Jennifer making a list of things. And he knew exactly what that meant. Right. And here's the deal.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
There was a time period where I thought for sure it's over. Like this is the point of no return. But there were so many. And then get this listener. They get back together like for appearances only. Right. So the kids, he would come home and y'all would play house like until the kids went to bed and then the kids went to bed. Right. And he would leave and go spend the night with the friends.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And then he would arrive back like five or six hours later in the morning before the kids in the morning before the kids got up. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. That part right there. That's where I was just like. Why are we trying to put lipstick on that pig?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yes, but I wouldn't mind having like – have you seen those little cats have those little short legs and are real fluffy? Oh, I haven't. Yeah, they're super cute. Now, I mean, listen, I don't know. Right now, I'm not going to get another cat. You know, I've got these two dogs. I've got Josh. You know, I've got a lot going on. So what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
You did that one time when he bought you that car in the back of the car.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Remember, you fucked him in the back of that car. He bought you that Infiniti, and you rewarded him. I think that was before, wasn't it? I don't remember when it was, but I remember thinking, it's fucking gross is what I did. You know, here's the thing. You can say it's gross. When you're married and you've had kids with somebody and you've had sex a million times, it's like, what's one more time?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I got the car I wanted. Yeah, I'll fuck him in the back of it. Yeah. I mean, I think that was my idea if I remember correctly. I think it kind of was your idea, which brings us back to how you're a closet horny person. Yeah. You are in the closet as a horny person. Yeah. I'm just waiting for the hinges to spring off. Yeah. Because I mean that, you know, that was kind of kinky.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I think your kids were at home even. Yeah. I just, I do think you are a closet horny person. I do. Just waiting for a partner. As evidenced by the car sex.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
right car sex and when that guy recently flashed you a couple years ago you were delighted by it that driver fellow driver pulled up next to you and he was masturbating or something wildly inappropriate and you came to me and you were grinning from ear to ear i was just as excited as you could be about it yeah i think you're a closet kinky horny person i wish i wish i was out
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
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I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
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I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
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I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Code HATIT at checkout. You know, I love a little luxury. I absolutely love a good cashmere sweater, but it can just be so expensive.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, to what I have to say is you're welcome, little soldier, young grasshopper. Deputized. Deputized. And I have a little story to tell you all. So Pumps and I, on Inauguration Day, went and had breakfast together at this little greasy diner we both love in Oklahoma City.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay, what I've had it with is I've had like this head cold for two weeks.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
i order scrambled eggs and a short stack she orders biscuits and gravy in a side really relevant i know i'm painting the picture as an author would do okay i'm letting them know that we're not in here eating like you know crunchy food we're doing greasy spoon right all right so we look around at the people around us and pumps is like glaring at me and she's doing her head like this
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
She's like, MAGA hat, MAGA hat, MAGA hat. So I turn. And there's this woman sitting with this man that's about 950 years old. And she has on a MAGA hat, red. And then she has this cup in front of her. And the cup has all these mini American flags in it. This is January 20th. Pumps and I are literally on suicide watch. We're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Let's go eat. So...
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
she's parading around the restaurant, smiling, waving a little flag at everybody. And I want to tell you that I glared like nobody's business. I would not blink. I didn't. And I looked at her with just, I wanted her to feel it. If she got smiles from everybody else, I wanted my negative energy and my disdain
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
for her support of a sexist, racist, anti-Semitic piece of shit that tried to give a microphone a blowjob. Because you know that woman was a big churchgoer. You could see it all over her that she was a big Old Testament gal, right? And so I wanted my energy to just supersede anything else in that little cafe. And I think it did.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah, it looked like they came fresh from January 6th. Totally.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah. So yeah, I did. I did misgender her initially. Yeah. Yeah. But it was just from the side. And then once I got the front, then I, she was too old.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Was she meaning that metaphorically? No, because she said when he walked by, she'd go... Right, but the barking, was that literal or metaphorical?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
That's what we should have done. And when she said it was an intentional safe space, do we think that this was a gay bar? Right now, we're just fucking shooting at the wind, trying to paint a picture. We need more details, caller.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
That is the most relatable. Totally. Grievance. I've been on both sides of it. I'm on both sides. And I am like, come on, lollygagger, get your shit together. Can't you see you're stopping traffic? What a selfish piece of shit. And that if I'm the person in and I'm checking my phone, responding to a text, I see somebody, I'm like, yeah, Settle down. Slow your roll.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Maybe walk an extra 10 yards, asshole. Why are you in such a hurry? Why is your hair on fire? Why are you breathing down my neck? But I do want to say this. I think it'd be really fun just to be complete assholes and twats to just start calling, just start using British and Australian words in Oklahoma City. Like car park. I loved that when she was saying car park.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
We'll use car park instead of aluminum. We'll start saying aluminum. Instead of vitamin, we'll say vitamin. Yeah. And just when people say like, why are you doing that? And it's just like in Trump's America, we're trying to distinguish ourselves from fascists and always possible. So we're trying to use different forms of English and pronunciation.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Quit being a twat. Yeah, that's exactly right. She is hashtag inspo.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Hi, Jen and Pumps. I need some advice on this pressing issue in my life. So my coworker, who I work very closely with, just bought me a Stanley Cup for Christmas. And I feel a little bit like I'm being summoned into some sort of cult. I'm looking at it from across the room. It is matte black and I'm kind of chic, if I'm being honest.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I'm kind of getting the urge to go and fill it up with water, maybe even iced tea, like pumps might. However, I do understand that this could be a total gateway into Trumpism. I'm trying not to take that possibility lightly. And it should be noted that this coworker of mine is, in fact, a Trump supporter. And I know that because she pronounced Kamala Harris's name as Kamala.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And she also asked me if I had ever read Hillbilly Elegy. Please help. Bye.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay. To me, this wasn't a gift. This is grooming. This is MAGA grooming. They are groomers. You're being groomed. It is very dangerous. What I would do is I would take that cup. Right up to that office and walk right over to my colleague's desk and say, hey, where's your trash can? And then pull it out and I'd say, don't ever give me this MAGA shit again. And don't groom me either.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I know that y'all try to identify all the groomers. It's because you're the groomer. And just flip the script and just be unhinged. Be crazy and be unhinged because you cannot drink out of this cup forever. multiple reasons that I've covered since the inception of this podcast. And we're adding wrinkles to that.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And the fact that this woman, the colleague that gave the cup is mispronouncing Kamala Harris's name and reading Hillbilly Elegy and all of that nonsense. I just think this was an aggression. I think this was an act... Of aggression.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I think it's a part of the cult. I think it's just, I just, I know everybody thinks I'm fucking crazy about this, but it's, There's just – there are certain things when you start getting like the top knot headband. Right. If it's bedazzled combined with the Stanley Cup, you just start combining a lot of things and you know exactly what you're dealing with.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Here's the thing that kind of goes back to the Australian caller. And pumps can attest to this. I'm a notorious fantasizer about being a badass. We both are. I mean, I can sit and say, here's what I would do. And I would do this and I would say this and I would do all of these things. And I say it with such passion and so much confidence. You think, God, man, she would do that.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
She would really fuck people up. Half the time I just tell pumps or I share with you, the listener, and then I'm over it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
For years, especially this was exacerbated by joint and shared chain smoking. Right. Right. pumps would call me and she would say, let's burn. And that means go out to your front porch and let's light a cigarette. And this is when our kids were really little and we couldn't be together. So I'd light up. She'd go, okay, I'm going to give you a fantasy of what I'm going to say to my husband.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And I was like, okay, lay it on me. And then she would just chew his fucking ass out and then would finish that cigarette. And she would say, let's double shot. And that means light another cigarette. And then we just light another one. And that's it. And then you should say this. And this would go on for like an hour.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Or sometimes the kids were watching cartoons, eating junk food. But what does that matter? We were having therapy.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay, listen. We have, as many of you know, another podcast called IHIP News. And it is a way to stay engaged with the insanity that is the Trump pandemic.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
era administration 10 to 15 minute short digestible doses with a little bit of humor in it but what they're going to try to do is wear you down and exhaust you to where you don't give a shit anymore right it is important to stay engaged so make sure you subscribe to that podcast if you're on youtube it all comes in one main feed but if you're a listener you need to subscribe to both and pumps tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Wow. Yeah. Wow. I mean, the description of how bad your breath is about the dog. Yeah. Wow. I mean, you know, here's the problem. You know, we're...
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
secretly behind your back the producers and i are trying to market you on dating websites and so this goes this is like not good for the branding that we're trying to put out into the universe date this hot podcaster you know america's favorite podcaster america's meemaw legal eagle meat curtain All the stuff. Maybe a little overselling. Princess Diana.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And then we just have a description about a dog taking a literal dump in your mouth. And then you parading around having conversations with people after that.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Thank you for all those details. Thank you on behalf of me and the listener that there's no happy ending there either. No, it's not getting better. Right. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. And you experienced this with me. And I just want to bring this to everybody's attention because we have to move and we have to move fast.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
There is something going on at arenas or venues that host people for like, let's say a basketball game, a concert, a tennis match, etc. Where you go to the concession stand and you buy a bottle of water. And then the concession stand worker says, would you please remove the lid and hand it back to me?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And they're basically making you buy a bottle of water and then give the lid back to them because they don't want the lids in the arena. There is no good reason. There is zero reason for this, that you would take somebody's lid. Because here's my thinking on this entire thing. The reason why you get the bottle of water is you can screw the lid on tightly, stick it down.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
If somebody kicks it over because people are up and down, going to the bathroom, in your case, going to scrape your tongue and gargle Listerine, all this stuff that's going on, right? Right. This bottle has no lid on it, so it gets knocked over. And then you've got some klutz that comes by and then bites it. The lawsuits are going to be far, far worse. So I don't know what the reasons are.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And then I searched in my photo roll with my sons and my husband last night, Kat. And then you have like two decades worth of photographs with this animal. It's really sad when they're gone.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Kyla, if you'll start researching, Googling – I can guarantee you there's not a good reason for this. It's not like you're outside at Madison Square Garden and some bird is flocking in and choking on the water bottle lid. I mean, we're already drinking out of plastic, for God's sake. Oh, my God, the lid is the problem? And this has happened to me. It happened to me once.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I had a tennis match at the Labor Cup in London. I couldn't have my lid on. And then when we went to the Oklahoma City Thunder versus the New York Knicks for the permanent record, the Thunder annihilated the Knicks. And the New Yorkers were really, really salty about it, which gave us a lot of bonus points in that regard. But I ended up, I never drink soda ever, ever.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And I ended up drinking a Sprite so that it could have a lid on it because I didn't want this rogue water splashing around pumps. You know, you've trip and fall all the time. I did that for your safety. Right?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I don't know who started this, but here's what I predict. I predict there were some people scrambling jets around a table. Oh, yeah. And they were bored, and they decided that they were going to commit violence that day. Yeah. And they took the lids away from all of us. And then just snowball effects. And then one arena does it, and another arena does it, and another arena does it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And here's what's going to happen. Hide and watch. You're going to have all this spilled water all over the place. And then all of a sudden, you're going to have broken hips, broken wrists, broken a lot of stuff, concussions, banging on the steps. And then there's going to be a class action lawsuit. And let me tell you who the attorney for the class action lawsuit is going to be.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
It is going to be America's legal eagle. Attorney at law pumps.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Let me ask you this. In the lawsuit that is going to be imminent, that we're organizing, can you both be a litigant and a lawyer? Yes. You know what they say about that?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Because they give you the lid with the soda. Well, because I think then you can beat. But here's the thing. Here's... That's the best. That is no good reason because what's going to happen are these slips. We're going to have concussions. We're going to have broken wrists, broken arms, broken shoulders, broken hips, a lot of things. We're going to have a lot of medical problems.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And I just want to say right now that if this happened to you, contact – what's your –
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
1-800-MEAT-FLAP. People even made jingles for this. Meat curtain law. Yeah. Okay, here's the deal. I think I could take a beating from a water bottle. And I think I could, maybe I'd get a bruise or two. I think I could survive it. I think it's more dangerous to slip down those stairs in an arena. I do too. It makes no sense. I want to know who came up with this idea. Yeah. I want more information.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And it's not just the United States because this has happened in the UK. Right. And the United States. And I'm just going to tell you right here, we have had it. We're not going to stand for it. And it trumps America if there's one bloody thing the Democrats could do. If you could just give us one little victory, get us our caps back on our water bottles for God's sake. Let's start small. Yeah.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Just small changes every day. Yeah. That would buy me about 10 hours of not worrying. Maybe five. I was going to say, send a lot. That was generous. Yeah. All right.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, you know what? Thank you. It's a service. It is. You know, all of this toxic positivity is nauseating, not sustainable. I've had it. It's disgusting. Shut up. Shut up.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
three patriots gay triets they triets i have some really sad news my cat kitsky aka catsky died peacefully in her sleep and um she lived a good life she was 17 years old i know that we had covered her journey um her feline journey into old age exclusively on this podcast. But I do want to say this. When you have a pet for a long time and they're just kind of always there in your house.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I love that. Yeah, that's a great name. It's a good one. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
It's okay. It's okay. And I know that like, you know, that you loved Kitsky deep down. Yeah. I loved her for you because you loved her. Did the, share with our listener. Well, listener, let me just tell you. So the vet had to come. to my house to pick up her body. And I'm there and she's like, let's say goodbye to her. And I reached down and I was like, you're a good kitty.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
queen dude everybody's like be sure to hydrate be sure to hydrate i'm like be sure to put a sock in it everybody knows quit talking about it and so then the stanley cup comes in and we all know what that leads to and all of this stuff and then kylie this little angel enters my life who intentionally dehydrates and i'm like Oh my God. Like I didn't ever take it far enough. Right.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
You were just on the cusp. I was, I was like, I was at the appetizer and she was full blown entree and dessert. Right. And so I like when Kylie just admitted on our podcast that she intentionally dehydrates, I was immediately envious and in awe. I was too. And I would like to report this.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
You know what? Here's what I'm going to say about these arenas. They do. I didn't. I ended up not purchasing the water. on principle because I'm like, I'm not, is there any discount for not getting the cap? Because I want the complete package. Right. How much are you going to deduct for removing that cap?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I got three different colors and I've noticed him wearing them each and every day. They are total standouts. For the dad who deserves better than basic, Quince has you covered. Go to quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash had it to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash had it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
didn't let that conclusion be the end of it. I felt complete satisfaction until you had to follow up once I'd already closed this event or this purchase or this experience from my mind. And the worst of the worst is when it's something like getting your car repaired, which is a miserable experience. From top to bottom, you don't have a car.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I always know like that's how the whole beaver thing came up because I just kind of flippantly said, what was that guy's last name? Beaver. You're like, no. And then you corrected it. And then like the just beaver sitting out there floating. I couldn't take it. You could just immediately busted out laughing because, of course, you thought about a vag. Of course. All right. Next up.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Oh, my gosh, Luke, I just I am so sorry for what you're going through. And I just want you to know that you are perfect the way you are. And I'm so I just this kind of stuff, this type of bullying by people. To the LGBTQ plus community is something just that I will just always, always, always fight for. And I've always fought for.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I just I will not be a part of any institution or any organization or any touch, any thing in my life. That condones that type of bigotry towards your community, because this is the end game. And so many people don't think about kids at home crying. They only think about themselves. And it makes me sick.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay. Let's go over some news. First one up is emails from women are more likely to be described as aggressive, even when the wording is the same. When a woman sends a direct email, she is more likely to be called rude. When a man sends the exact same email, he's seen as efficient and assertive. I think this is so true.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I tend to, with text messages and work emails, send very short, direct messages. messaging without a lot of fluffery or superfluous wording to it. Just very, I need this done by noon. And that's the end of it. And I noticed when I hire new employees, they'll ask me if I'm mad. And I'm like, no, what are you talking about? Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I'm just very direct like we're in a work setting and work settings call for just immediate communication without a bunch of fluffery and men can do this and they are praised for it but women not so much.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Generally, everybody's cranky because it ends up costing more than you think it's going to be. And then to get an email a week after... How was your experience in getting your car repaired? And I want to say, regardless of anything you all did, it was a miserable fucking experience. I didn't have a car. It cost $1,500 more that I didn't anticipate. I hated it from top to bottom, left to right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
All right. Next up, we have a story. Almost 50% of men think they could land a plane in an emergency. Of course they do. I mean, this is just... This is some MAGA shit if I've ever seen it. I mean, these are the same people that think they're medical doctors and conducting their own research. I guess that's how we know what the 50% of the male population are, quote, alpha males. Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
They can land a plane. How arrogant to think that you could land an airplane.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
All right. Next up, we have adults are having dumb phones to get away from social media. A growing number of adults are ditching smartphones for dumb phones. Basic text and call only devices is a way to reclaim their time and mental peace. Tired of endless scrolling, doom scrolling, and constant distractions, many are choosing simplicity over digital noise. I think this is such a great idea.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I think that social media and the people who own the social media are... a huge player in this current moment that we all arrive in.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. All right. Next up, I wanted to talk to you all about I'm finally I've graduated my youngest child. You graduated your youngest last year. And I wanted to share a story about what happened. So we're leaving the graduation ceremony. And these two lesbians approach me. And they're like, Jennifer, Jennifer, we're huge fans of the podcast. I was like, oh, thanks. Why are y'all here?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And she's like, oh, my niece is graduating. We live in Michigan. And then one of the lesbians says, I actually know Josh. I hooked up with him in college. And Josh, and I'm walking with my oldest son and his girlfriend and Roman, the one that just graduated, is walking with Josh, but they're probably about 15 yards ahead of us trying to go get the car.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I'm screaming pump style in the parking lot, Josh, Josh, a girl you hooked up with in college is here. And Dylan's dying laughing, and I was like, and now she's gay. She's a big old lessee. And so finally we catch up, and Josh was like, oh, my God, knew her immediately. He did? Immediately, yes. And they hugged and had the best time. But shout out to the two lesbians.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Now they live in Michigan, but they were both midlife. Lesbians. So meaning they were married, had kids, and then realized, you know, after years of pretending to be asexual, finally figured out that they were in fact lesbians and are married. Well, good for them. And Josh could have potentially turned one of them gay.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I think that they were like friends as well. Oh, okay. Okay. It wasn't just there. Oklahoma State University is not, you know, I think that they were buddies and friends. Well, that's fun. Yeah. That's always fun. Also, at the graduation. So I'd gone to the Syracuse graduations and the speeches were amazing. Amazing.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I was thinking about how these speeches at graduations, they talk about being humble, being kind, being a good person. Right. And so it all kind of played well at Syracuse because there was a lot of coded attacks on Trump. Fast forward to my youngest son's high school graduation. And so they give out this alumni award, all right, to like a member of a former graduating class.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
So it's this big deal. And they give out this alumni award. And, you know, these graduations are just brutal. Brutal. Even if you genetically share DNA with the recipient. Mm-hmm. So I'm thinking, OK, there's a thunder game that night. So I'm thinking this guy's going to read the room and he's going to know not to go on.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Well, they introduce him and it's like he is a veteran and he works with James Lankford, who is the Republican senator. And then Stephanie Bice, who is our religious hypocrite Congresswoman that claims to be pro-life while voting against poor children to receive food. Stephanie Bice, you know, you do that. And so does James Langford, for that matter. Anyway, so this guy gets up on stage.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And he doesn't just say, you know, thanks. You know, I want to be humble here. Instead, he proceeds to tell These 18-year-olds, a story about when he was in Iraq, which he called the armpit of the world, which I thought was very insulting and elitist to say because there are many people that live in Iraq. Okay.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
So he's talking about his tour of duty there and he proceeds to go on a 20-minute brag fest. No. About how he saved somebody's life. Uh-uh. Yeah. No. Yes. Oh, my God. It was the most brutal and exhausting thing. The most. He's like, so you just have to be kind. And let me give you an example of how kind I am. When I was in Iraq.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
We were under attack and then this guy is hit and I go into enemy fire and I get him out. And he tells this whole battle story, grandstanding and showboating about how he saved somebody's life to these 18 year olds who are all dying to get out of this graduation.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
All of the parents are dying to get out of this graduation because everybody wants to go watch the Oklahoma City Thunder in the playoff game. And at the end of it, he starts talking about how important it is to be kind and to have integrity and all of these attributes that these seniors should take forward into adulthood. And I'm sitting there thinking, okay, you work for, with seniors.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Senator James Lankford, who does not show an ounce of integrity at all. All he shows is breathtaking hypocrisy. You work with Congresswoman Stephanie Bice, who is an abject hypocrite of the highest order that tells her constituents, I'm a Christian and I'm for children and for families, yet goes and votes against both every chance she can get.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay. For my grievance today, we are going to, I'm going to use a lifeline. Okay. And we're going to call Josh Welch because he has a grievance with you that he was addressing with me over the weekend. And I said, you know what? I'll use a lifeline during filming. I've had it and we'll just call your ass up. Okay.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And so then he talks about kindness and he works with these Republicans. And I'm wondering, does this guy vote for MAGA? Is that a kind movement? And so I just see how these people like the the delusions of grandeur. that this man, you know, to not be able to read the room and to sit there and give a 20-minute speech at an event that's not really about you.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You're supposed to get the award, say thank you, wrap it up within 90 seconds, get the fuck off the stage. Instead, he goes through all of these battle stories with these teenagers. And after the event, I asked Roman, I go, Roman, what were you and your friend saying when that guy was grandstanding? He goes, we were all looking at each other like, what? what does any of this have to do with us?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Right, why are we hearing this? Yeah, it was the weirdest thing ever. And I think the school should remove the guy's award because his speech disqualified him for being an outstanding alumni member. Right. It was disqualifying. His speech disqualified himself because he cannot read the room. You do not go to somebody else's graduation and give a 20 minute speech about yourself and get this.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Before he started, he said, I'm going to share a speech with y'all about kindness. My therapist has told me I need to share this story more. He drug his therapist into it. Trying to make him or her accountable for his bad behavior right there.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I'm sitting there thinking, I guarantee you, your therapist would not have advised that you give this speech at a graduation honoring 18-year-olds that... need to hear about ways to move forward in their life and how this institution helped you. We don't need to hear about how you saved a life. Oh, and then it goes into how he bumped into this guy later.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And the guy was like, you saved my life. And oh, it went on and on and on. That is absolutely. It put everybody in a bad mood. Everybody was moaning, groaning, sighing. It was the biggest example of grandstanding I'd ever seen in my life. Okay, let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Absolutely not. Breathtaking lack of self-awareness in this. He was smiling throughout the entire thing. And I believe... felt like this was a story that actually helped people and didn't highlight what a braggadocious lack of humility this man had at the core of his character.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I furthermore found it incredibly insulting to my personal intelligence that he wanted to get up and lecture people about kindness when he supports people like hypocrite Senator James Lankford and extreme Anti-woman, anti-family, hypocrite Congresswoman Stephanie Bice, who is in our district right here, who had the district relined because we had a Democrat named Kendra Horn.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
So they ended it because this is Oklahoma City. They had it redrawn to absorb more rural areas where she could go in and Christian signal to these people. So the fact that he works with them and then wants to sit down at our secular school and try to lecture me and my kid about kindness, I found incredibly rich.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And the only thing kind that he could find support that he did was saving somebody's life in a war that the United States had never been in in the first place.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Welcome to I've Had It, Josh. We're at the stage of the podcast where Pumps has told me her grievance. And then I told the audience, the listener, that I wanted to phone a friend and give my grievance to you because you were expressing a grievance you had with Pumps with me over the weekend.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I support the troops, but I guarantee you the majority of the troops would never talk about that. My dad fought in Vietnam War. Will not talk about it. And I sure as hell wouldn't talk about it to a graduating class. And a bunch of crazy shit went on over there. And I just thought it was so gross. And I just wanted to share it. We all went through it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
My son, my oldest son, was just disgusted by it. My youngest son, the graduate, was disgusted by it. I'm embarrassed that the school didn't stop it or vet what he was going to say. It was such a disgrace.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It really did. It really did. The head of the upper school gave a speech about Jimmy Carter, which was interesting that he had to sell his peanut farm. And then he was a president and his presidency was considered a failure. But his post-presidency was... a model for all to be in awe because of how humble and compassionate and all the work that he did.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And so it was this really cool speech about like, you can ascend to the presidency and that can be considered a failure, but that doesn't have to define you. You can go on and live with integrity and try to make the world a better place. And then we get this grandstander up there. It's having a joint therapy session with a graduating class of 2025. We're talking about war stories.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Just unbelievable. So I just, since I had to go through that, I wanted you all, everybody should have to suffer. Yeah. All right. Kylie, how was your graduation when you graduated from high school? I don't even remember what happened at it. Yeah.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You think. Because everybody was dying for it to be done by 730 to go to the game. Every other speaker, including the people within the graduating class that were 18, stood up and said... My dad told me to keep this short because there was a thunder game tonight. And then they would shorten their speech and it was cute and everybody clapped. Not this guy. He spoke longer than the valid Victorian.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I just think that that's not the appropriate. That's not the forum. Right. This is not West Point. This is, you know, these are high schoolers. I just thought it was wildly inappropriate, braggadocious, nauseating.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That sounds fantastic. Pumps, I love you, by the way. I hope you know that.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I would have been, I would have been like this. It was awful. It was the worst. And my child had a wonderful experience at that school. But that speaker will always be... There's just certain things you just can't get past. It's going to take me a long time to get past that grandstand. Just leaves a bad taste in your mouth at the very end. It really does.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Well, and then thank God we ran into Josh's... Ex-girlfriend lesbian right after that because that was a real shining light.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
A lesbian can always cheer up the grandstanding of a gross, narcissistic alpha male.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yes, I have. So it was just universal. It was universally the most hated speech at the graduation. And that's tough to do at a graduation.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay, so... It seems to me, and I don't even, this isn't specifically ain't court pumps, but I would say that in a general sense, I've had it with the entitlement of vapers. And when they can vape and where they vape and who they're around and the norms and rules associated with that and the bending of those rules and norms.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Love him. I mean, that's just, I mean, you know, that's, that's what I like. What he said there is grow up, grow up, grow up. I've fucking had it. Yeah. That's what I wish I would have stood up during that grandstander. Grow up. I fucking had it. Get your ass off the stage. We're done. Go back to your therapist's office. Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. I mean, I just, the interest in other people's babies is just, it's nil. It is none, zero interest whatsoever unless you're related to that baby.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
He's in the 90th percentile or, you know, like that's stupid. In general, there's a lot of stats that people give out for their children or grandchildren that nobody else cares about. That are unnecessary. They're completely unnecessary because what you have is an average human being that maybe did a little bit above average on something.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
What would be interesting is if somebody had a baby and it's like he came out of the womb speaking fluent French. It's unbelievable.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
that i'm interested in yeah i want to hear about that he i mean this kid uh could speak five languages by the age of five that's exceptional that's extraordinary your child doing well on an exam or growing to a particular height is not that interesting it's not that unique it's something that is shared by lots and lots and lots of people you keep that in the circle
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
There is a circle wherein you can talk about your children's accolades where you can brag and the people are proud to hear it. And that is your inner circle. When you take that outside of the inner circle, you've got the grandstander like you had it at the graduation. You've got just somebody who's a total unaware prick grandstanding and nobody wants to hear it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
To just pretty much say, look, I'm going to vape whenever the fuck I want to. If it's on an airplane, if it's in a hospital, if it's in a gym, I'm going to do it. And it takes me back to the days of the smokers. And their entitlement.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It's just worse now. I remember getting all sorts of shit. And the worst – you know what? Social media has made it better. I used to have to hear this shit in person.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I remember the people I ran with hearing updates about measurements, weights, words, crawling speed, rate, steps. Yeah.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Listener, you know how important my pets are to me. They are my constant companions and make my life immeasurably better. That's why I'm so happy to announce that today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. When you have a pet, you love taking care of them because in their own way, they take care of you.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
But with the vaping, I think that we breached and it's almost as if it's not anywhere near as serious and it's not as much of a rule and that the bending or the exception to the rule is acceptable.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay, I have a huge update for the listener. So Pumps knows some of this. So some of this won't be an update to you, but some of it will be. So we all know he thought he had a brain disorder and demanded a CAT scan of his brain, wherein they found he was perfectly normal. And then he started honing in on his ears. He spent a couple of days on the sofa with chronic earwax. Yes.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It was so debilitating, it prohibited him from going to work. And then he got some doctor in a headlock who agreed that the hole in his eardrum, which my sister's third ex-husband was an ENT surgeon, repaired like 20 years ago, that he could go back in and re-repair the hole in the eardrum. So the surgery day arrives, and it's last Monday. Pumps and I drop him off at surgery.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Tell her about what brought this on. Yeah, what was my particular infraction? Because I know I do that. Let's land the plane and get to what brought this on for you to bring this up to me.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And then there's like tornadoes, warnings, hail, all this stuff right at the time I have to drive to get him. And it's in an area of Oklahoma that I detest. It is the megachurch portion of Oklahoma City, which is the suburb of Edmond. Isn't it right next door to a megachurch? It's just mega hell is what it is up there, right? Yeah. There's that big giant cross, right?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Because that's a great way to spend your money. Yeah. Build a giant cross. Nonetheless, so I have to go up into God's country to retrieve Josh from the hospital. On my way up there, the surgeon calls me and says, hi, this is Dr. Such and Such. I just want you to know I was able to go in and I didn't have to do this or that. But at the end of the day, I hope his ear is the way he wants it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Which to me sounded like something a plastic surgeon would say after giving a neck lift or a boob job. Well, I hope her boobs are the way she wants them. So I call pumps and I tell her that the surgeon said this because she's like, she's encouraging me to be nice about everything because she knows that I am spent.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
with the hypochondria, the five rehab stints, the five family weeks, I'm just spent, you guys. It's difficult for me sometimes to conjure up the empathy. So Pumps is my cheerleader, right? So I call her and I say, you're not going to believe this as I'm driving out to the MAGA Hellscape, Edmond, Oklahoma. The doctors called me and he said, direct quote, I hope his ear is the way he wants it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And Pumps says, Jenny, do not... Say that to him when you go pick him up. Can you at least wait a week? And I said, okay, you're right. You're right. And I want to give you a report of what happened when I walked into the recovery room. Okay. I haven't heard this. So I walked in the recovery room and he's sitting there eating like tapioca. Right. Jell-O. Yeah. Crackers.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I go, there's our little patient. And he had like a big cotton ball in his ear. And I was like, are you about ready to go home? And he's like, yeah, I'm just starving. You know, they wouldn't let me eat all day. Did you talk to the doctor? I said, yeah. He said he hopes your ear is the way you want it immediately. You couldn't control it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I think it could have been within 90 seconds. You just couldn't hold it. I think I can even say within the first 30 seconds. Angie, it just it came out. It just it just came.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
he kind of like chuckled a little bit and I, and, and I said, you know, like it sounded like, and I went there, I said, I sounded like something like a plastic surgeon would say. Yeah. Then the nurse comes in nicest nurses. So despite my hating Edmund, this hospital, fantastic. All the people that work there are so nice. Everybody was so like a plus plus plus and like,
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It brought to my attention that in the course of her workouts, whether it's biking or lifting weights, that pumps will occasionally take a little hit off the vape.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
There was hail storm, tornado, all this shit. And I'm picking up the hypo with his elective surgery, right? With his boob job slash ear. Yeah. So she's real sweet. So we start going through all the stuff. Well, we're one week post-op. Okay. And now he goes around the house and they can't hear out of the ear that they did the surgery on. I don't know if there's fluid buildup.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I don't know what the problem is. But he cannot hear. And then last night he's talking about he can't hear. And if he covers up this ear, he's just completely deaf. He's deaf. And so I said... I just went there again. I go, you know, this is what happens when you just start having a bunch of surgeries and tinkering with stuff. Stuff just doesn't work out the way it's supposed to.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You just couldn't help it. Yeah, I did. And I thought Angie's going to be so disappointed in me.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I know that my tubby gets terrified of thunderstorms and hailstorms. He's left home unattended so that I can go pick up Josh, which is high times, you know, with his tapioca pudding and his big cotton ball in his ear. And I'm risking my life driving up to God's country to pick him up next to the big giant Christian cross. But yeah, I know you've been really disappointed.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
At the gym, during the workout. And I don't know that this will come as a complete surprise, but vaping in a gym, a workout facility, is not allowed.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Right. When it came out, right. When it came out, I could just see your face in my mind and you'd be just sitting there going, you just always have to be a fucking bitch. You just can't, you just can't just not be a bitch. Can't just hold your tongue one time. Yeah, I couldn't. It, and I, it was involuntary. It was like, I mean, it was just like, it just came out.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
But I think this is what happens, listener. You know, 25 years of marriage, rehab stints, a lot of our relationship has been very Josh-centered. I would say probably... 95%. I was going to say 85%. Yeah. And so then you just get to a point where you just can't center on it anymore. It doesn't mean I don't love him. It doesn't mean I don't know what's best for him. It just means there's a deficit.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That I can't overcome sometimes to be like super empathetic in these moments combined with the fact that we have a history of hypochondria that I don't want to enable.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Here's the thing. I know all of this sounds really bitchy, and I'm not saying that it's not. I'm just saying that there has been a drain on me. The account's overdrawn. The account is overdrawn, and he is making deposits, and it's good. But when we are on the sofa for a couple days with an earwax buildup... Which I can confirm. That's true. ...that then rapidly accelerates to a surgery...
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I tend to think this is not my problem. Is this a problem? Is this an imaginary problem? I think I'll deep dive into work. And it's just, you know, there's people that are all in each other's business. And there's been a time in Josh and my marriage where I have been all up in his shit and that didn't behoove me. I was codependent.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I, you know, wanted to be right in the epicenter of all of his shit, monitoring, making sure the surgeon didn't prescribe opiates or narcotics. And I just felt like I had to be there to control it. And I don't feel like I have to do any of that anymore. I think that's huge growth. I do too. But I'm also a bitch. Also, probably need to- I'm a growing bitch.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
If the listener knows that or not. But when you're there to get healthier, when you're there to work out your body or your muscle or get cardio, they would simply ask that you not vape or share toxic fumes with other participants of the gym so that you can work out in a zone that's free of those toxins. And it's been brought to my attention that occasionally...
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I appreciate that you are so sweet, Pumps, that you're trying to give Josh a defense and me a defense. The fact of the matter is, I'm kind of bitchy about the ear stuff and I'll own it. Yeah. I am. I am. I'm bitchy about the ear stuff. The caller is so nice about the GoFundMe to pay for the medical expenses. Fortunately, we have great insurance.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And so I would want those funds to go to our other caller, abused LGBTQ and homeless youth. But, oh, God. You know, I think that there's just no question I'm kind of a bitch. Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Well, that's all I have. Nobody in this office is a hypo. No. Kylie works through being sick. Seth worked through a kidney stone. For days. Yeah. We all kind of push through. Fever is the only thing that takes any of us down.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
How do you think, like, what do you think would happen if you emailed your boss and said... Dear Jennifer, I'm unable to come to work today due to an earwax. Chronic earwax buildup. So I'm staying at home. I think you'd show up at my door.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Now, granted, in Josh's defense, the only people he told was me. And the only people I'm telling is our listener. Right. Just our. Our listener. Our lone listener. Right. But, you know, I, God, I just. I just can't imagine being so fixated on problems that don't exist. And I'm just going to say this. I think that that tell from that surgeon, I hope his ear is the way he wants it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I just think that tells us what we have here is elective elective surgery. We didn't have to have it. That's what I think. And now he can't hear. And it, you know, the fucked up part of me, and this is so bad.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
By trainers at the gym, right? We have the same trainer. But it was another trainer.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Okay, let me ask you this. On the scale of hearing aids, you have like the little ones that you can't see or you have the old school where you see like the whole plastic thing up and over it. Like you can see my, these are little ear pieces that's like more visible than this.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It all stems from hypochondria. Right. Well, he goes for his checkup tomorrow. And so he's been on me about how he can't hear. I'm just like, I mean, you just need to talk to the doctor. He thinks he got the ear the way you wanted it. You're such a bitch. I know I am. But I don't know why we're all in this situation. My sister's third ex has been fixed the hole in the ear 20 years ago. Yeah, well.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
No, I do do that. So it's not like it's a lie. Okay. So listen to this listener and Josh. The other day, my oldest son Dylan had like earwax buildup. And so Pumps and I go to the doctor's office and we are in the exam room.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
According to him, he's completely deaf. I just don't believe that. Completely deaf in that ear.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I'll tell you what. Here's what we'll do. I'm going to go stay at your house. Okay. Okay. Kick your kids out because I know they're home from the summer. I'm going to stay at your house. Okay. Stay with all the dogs. You go belly up with Josh for about a week and then you circle back with me.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
All right. Listen, that's all we have for today. Please send us stories about your life partners. Hypochondria. Hypochondria. Because we're a dump truck of the victims of hypochondria. And that's something nobody talks about. No. The victims of hypochondria. Not the hypochondriac, but the people who live near the hypochondriac and what they go through. Is there any support group for that?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
The caregivers of hypochondria. Right. Maybe you could start one. Right. I'll call it a nurse ratchet support group. All right. So I have, listen, this is super important. Fuckers. Pumps and I wrote a book. It is called life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. And what was that? It was me doing like a Vanna white with our product. You can do it here. You do it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm caca that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
in the room for sure you would be a dumbass if you didn't know you can't vape in a medical facility agreed right i look over and she's standing literally four inches away from the nurse the doctor's like in knee deep in dylan's ear and pumps is just sitting there vaping and the nurse looks over at her and her eyes get really big and she looks at me and i was just like oh fuck
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And you're just, I mean, like four or five times in a row. No, I think.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Every now and then you do get a little whiff of some bubble fruit punch thing. One of the worst was we had Mayor David Holt on here in studio.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. in this tiny little recording studio. And he's so sweet. And right after we filmed, we all stood up. We're literally like he's in the middle and we're shaking his hands, giving him a hug. Pops takes this gigantic hit off the vape. And exhales it right into the mayor's face. And he kind of looks at me and I'm just like, oh, Jesus, fuck. Can we not wait till the mayor is outside?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And it smells like this fruity thing. And I'm just like, but I think it I think Josh is right. There is an entitlement with vapors that didn't exist with smokers. I agree.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
The last thing I want to say about this is when I'm at the gym, one of my dear trainers comes up to me and he goes, now, what's that gal's name? Scoots? She does that podcast with your wife, Scoots or Stumps? I go, yeah, what about her? He's like, I'll see her over there on that bike. And she's just getting it like boom, boom, boom.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And then out of nowhere, she'll pop up a pink or purple little vape and take a big hit off that. And he said, I just about fell over laughing so hard.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That's true. All true. When we were on tour, we used to share a room. And I got to where I just like, I can't share a room with her anymore because you either hear... But in the middle of the night, she wakes up and you hear this... And then she hits off the vape in the middle of the night. And I remember I came home from one trip and I was like, I love pumps. I love her so much.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
The only thing that I... The only thing that I want to say here is in deference to pumps, all of the vapors that I know have the same entitlement in their mindset. So this isn't something that's unique to pumps. All of the vapors of the world think that they can vape wherever it is they want to vape. And that's just simply not the case.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Whether you're scoots or stumps or whoever, you can't be vaping. And they'll love you and adore you so much. So I'm like, have you ratted her out yet? Have you taken this to the top and said, hey, no vaping at our gym? They're like, no, I'm not going to do that. I love stumps. OK.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gayatriots, Patriots, Blacktriots. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Oh, I mean, it's a she is a she is a I mean, it is a level of vape addiction that like nobody like the world has never seen.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Let me let me ask you this. Has there been any airplane vaping? Oh, my God.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yes, of course. I'm sitting next to her and she's vaping and it's just and she thinks nobody can tell. And I look over and then like the guy like sitting next to us is kind of like the funny thing about it is she thinks nobody notices. But her vape is about 12 inches by 18 inches large. So it's like this gigantic pacifier that goes on.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
and it illuminates like it illuminates like a fucking glow ring yeah and so purpose yeah it's got a battery at the end i can use it for two things okay so let's think about this so we've got airplane we've got uh
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Thunder games. But the only place that might be worse would maybe be like a living assistance center for the elderly.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Oh, shit. I would do it there. I would do it in the heartbeat. Why would you think I wouldn't do that? The only person that doesn't fall prey to Pumps' chronic entitled vaping is her mother. That's what I was going to say. The only place that I'm vape-free is at my mother's house. Because her mother scares the shit out of her. And that's the only time that she shows any restraint with vaping.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Just leave me alone. This whole feedback loop is, I believe, kind of started with the millennials. And I love you millennials. I do. Great voting record. However... I think it started with them and they're the first like real generation of helicopter parents. And it's all this feelings and feedback. And what I feel when I get that is everything was perfect until you –
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
We need to get a poster of Judy... Put it right here. Do you have a Broman that you took to graduation that you hold up?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You look fantastic. No, and everybody at the gym is very complimentary. They're like, we love having Scoots up here. She's the funniest, most hilarious. I look over there and she's hitting that bike and then she hits that vape and I about buckle over. I mean, they love it. Nobody wants to rat you out. So far, I've kept it under control. I don't want to see you get kicked out.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That's right. So close. All right. Well, you ladies have a great rest of your day.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. So Josh was like, he wanted to bring this up with me. And I was like, you don't even know the vaping that I'm around. You don't get to bitch. Like it's the ambient noise in my office is whether it's you or Kylie or that's all I hear. That's why I have to turn on music because it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me now at this point. And it's not necessarily like music.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
The annoyance of it, it's the fact that people like you can't wait for the mayor to leave, that we have to blow vape smoke in his face. That's the part that is irritating to me that like you can't. And then just hearing the sucking all the time. So I've turned into kind of an anti-vaper. Although I don't care if you vape. Does that make sense? Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yes, you're the vaping beaver. Kylie? Wait, hold on. H... H-B-V-I-C. All right, Kylie. Yes. How's it going over there? How many times did you hit the vape during that call? Honestly, it made me want to hit it. So I was just over here listening. When I smoked cigarettes, when people talked about not smoking or cigarettes annoying them, it made me want to smoke more. A hundred percent.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
this episode of i've had it is brought to you by progressive insurance do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game shifting a little money here a little there and hoping it all works out well with the name your price tool from progressive you can be a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
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I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It breaks my hair, drives me bananas. That's why I'm so happy to share with our listener the discovery of Shady Rays. They offer all the iconic styles from the aviator to cat eye designed frames. So you're bound to find the perfect pair to match your every outfit.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
With over 300,000 five-star reviews, that's a lot of happy customers. So start shopping for your next pair of sunglasses today and see why Shady Rays is the go-to choice. Exclusively for our listeners, Shady Rays is giving out an amazing deal for the season. Head to ShadyRays.com with code HADIT for 35% off their premium polarized sunglasses. Snag your shades and get ready for the summer fun.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Father's Day is fast approaching and nobody has a bigger nightmare to purchase things for than my wonderful husband, Josh. That's why I am so grateful that I shop at Quince. Quince has all the pieces dads actually want to wear, like organic cotton silk polos,
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
european linen beach shorts and comfortable pants that work for everything from weekend hangouts to nice dinners what i love about quince is it actually works with factories that use safe ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and only uses premium fabrics and finishes i bought the organic cotton silk polos for josh and he personally loves them so much.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Hit it and quit it. Hit it and quit it. We had the luxury of hitting it and quitting it. Right.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
This is where I'm going to push back a little bit. I appreciate this in the French. I appreciate the like, fuck you, our door's broken. You lazy ass, go to the other one. Problem solved. And I agree. I know you're going to say it's the highest end. I agree with all of those things. But in the United States, everything's fixed, primed. You know, suck the dick of the capitalist. Go, go, go, go, go.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
The French are like, eh, we'll get around to fixing it when we want to.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
No one thinks it's a mystery is what that tells me. Well, you know what? This reminds me. Okay, so we were in New York.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And then we do a VIP meet and greet. Sure. And there were these women that came and they said, hey, Pumps, I just want you to know this man asked me to give you this note, but we pre-read it to make sure it was okay. And it's actually pretty sweet and he has the hots for you. Love it. So they passed the note to Pumps.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
We go, we do the VIP meet and greet and then we go outside and there's like 25 people waiting for us outside the venue. And the show ended like an hour before. So we were kind of shocked at that. We're like, oh my God. Right. People are waiting.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
One of these, the guy who wrote the note said, didn't trust that the ladies, because they were like, what do you mean give this note to Pumps? We're going to pre-read this and we're going to vet it. So he went to a restaurant and got a sack, a paper sack. A paper sack? A brown paper sack. And he re-wrote the love letter for Pumps. And I have to say, it was kind of funny. It was really funny.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
No. Why not? It's at home. Why wouldn't you read it? It says, I'm a thousandaire. It was really clever. With a million red flags. Which I love red flags. He was 56. Yeah, 56.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
He gave me the paper set and said, will you please give this to Pops? I also gave her another note. I said, oh, did you give it to those two ladies? He said, yes. I said, oh yeah, they pre-read it.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I want a million dollars. In his defense, he said, I rewrote the note because those ladies were kind of iffy if they were going to actually give it to her. Right.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And also like tough. And the jeans are skin tight. They're like jeggings.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You know why we know this? Because we have been whistleblowing on this for two years. Whenever you see a performative couple, it is a red flag. Behind that performance is a multitude of people. Onslaught. Fucking fucked up shit.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'll tell you what bothers me about them more than anything on the planet. What's up? It's not Paloma. Before they got pregnant.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
They have a French bulldog. I worry a lot about that French bulldog in the same way that I worried about former Vice President Pence's pet rabbit. When I hear that people like this... I didn't know he had a pet rabbit.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
When I hear about people like this having pets, and in Pookie and Judd's case, I saw the video with the pet. I worry about the safety of and well-being and emotional growth for that pet. They have a French Bulldog. We have French Bulldogs. French Bulldogs are needy. They require a lot of attention. They're very emotional creatures.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, Had It or Hit It, recycling.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Let me tell you something wild. Growing up in the 80s, it was common to have a milkshake in the car and you're sipping on it and you had a bench seat. Your mom was driving, you could go sit right next to her or you could just slide down the bench seat. You'd just roll down the window when you finished your milkshake and just toss it out. Check it out. With zero guilt, zero nothing.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And then they started this anti-littering campaign. So then we decided we can't just throw shit out the window anymore because I did that all the time and everybody did it.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And thought nothing of it. Through it. Now they're wanting us to recycle. And I'm like, I started on this journey.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Throwing my shit. out the window with reckless abandon, zero guilt, like a sociopath.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And now to try to get me to figure out the recycling is really difficult.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
You're a hostage. Yeah. At least if it's hors d'oeuvres, you have the freedom to go, oh my gosh, I've got to run to the restroom. Right. Even though you don't have to go to the restroom because you want to get the fuck away from Jet. Right. Who's talking about his sex life at the wedding. Exactly. So you're trying to run away.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
That's right. And so that's, I don't like forced group sex. and forced group activities. Let everybody be free, especially at a wedding.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
They'll love it. That's a really good point, though, because two of my nephews recently got married. And it was a big thing, not on my side of the family, but on other people's side of the family. Like, well, what about uncle such and such? Right. And he's like 89 in a wheelchair. Right. The bride and groom are having to make all these plans. Here's the thing that I want everyone to know. I'm 50.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
My desire to go to them when I'm 80 something will be even that much more diminished because the one thing I've learned about getting older is your give a fuck meter breaks beyond repair. Right.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
That's exactly right. Liberate the elderly. Don't make them be hostages at a wedding.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Last night I texted Jared and I said, hey, have you left for Oklahoma City yet? He said, no. And he said, what do I need to do to prep? And I said, text me a list of your grievances. Five minutes later, I get like a book, a published book. And so let's just go through each and every single one of them. Let's first talk about restaurant reviewers. Okay.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I like it. Okay, Jared, thank you so much. Thank you, guys. Thank you for coming. We'll see you guys next Tuesday or Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I was telling you before we started, one thing I appreciate about you is the attention to detail that you give to your grievances.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Here's what I want TikTokers to start doing. And I'm gonna piggyback on your idea. I want one of these TikTok gals, restaurant reviewers to start the video with. I've been on a 10 day cocaine bender and I decided to get off. And after 12 hours, I was starving because I hadn't eaten in 12 days. So I went and I had these pizza rolls. They were so orgasmic. They were so fantastic. I ate so many.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'm certain I gained two to three pounds. So I think I'm going to graduate to math. That's what we need.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Exactly. Like it. There we go. That's what we need. Like, subscribe, review. I want the train wreck version of the internet. Well, that's the thing.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'll tell you, ladies, you can find a man exactly like that at your local gay bar. I have been friends with gay men since I was 18 years old. They are effusive. They are complimentary. And I'm just saying, I have...
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I'm just saying I have really good gaydar. I'm just saying I have excellent gaydar. And I also, I want to say, because I know every listener thinks this when they see Pookie and Jet. I always look at that and I think, she's got to fuck him tonight. That's what she has to do.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Ready? One, two, three. Something amazing is happening, listener. All right, there's our eagle. I'm sorry, Jared. Jared Freed is here in Oklahoma City because I think you might love us.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
This is what's so disturbing to me about this content. We are a nation that is becoming void of culture.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Well, it's like, I see Pookie and Jet and, in the same box that I see Stanley cups. These are not interesting things. These are not something that you spend hours tending to and cultivating like we do our grievances. These are not thought provoking things. One thing is just a fucking cup.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
And two people – these other two people, it's total performative bullshit and their real lives look nothing like that. Their conversations look nothing like that.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay, now I want to show our listener a relatable side to you. Why don't you tell us about the Carlton Hotel in Cannes?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
I just want to share with you and the listener that when Pumps was, how old were you, 20?
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
22 years old. She had a two to three day tryst. I did. In the south of France. With a Frenchman. Sofra. In Sofra. And his name was Roy.
I've Had It
Gay Coded Cowboys
So you're from Boston. You lived in New York City the last 15 years. Is coming to a place like this, is it somewhat exotic?
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
pumps i'm packing up today for my vacation to brazil and let me tell you what i've packed i personally love quinces linens and washable silk tops and my suitcase is full of them they're fashionable affordable and so chic.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
You're exactly right. All Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. And I just love that. Listener, for your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Go to quince.com slash had it for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash had it to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash had it. Pumps, I'm trying to be more focused on eating nutrient-dense meals. I think they're vital to my health, but sometimes they can be boring, and that's why I'm so happy to share CookUnity.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Roman is that bike is pretending that it's a car stopped at the red light in the center lane, knowing that it's never going to have the juice to cross this intersection that a vehicle is going to have. And so I know what bike lanes you're talking about. And I'm like, Good. Now we know where they're going to be. They'll have their own lane. We have our own lane.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
They have fresh flavors for every diet, including keto, gluten-free, and GLP-1 balanced.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
You know, it really helps me when I order my food from Cookunity. I notice that I snack less and I have more energy throughout the day now that I'm on their plan. And it feels like I'm savoring food, not sacrificing. Listener, crush your health goals with mouth-watering chef-crafted meals delivered straight to your door.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Go to cookunity.com slash hadit or enter code HADIT before checkout for 50% off your first week. Again, that is 50% off your first week by using code HADIT or going to cookunity.com slash HADIT. Okay, next up. Kids today take approximately 90 seconds longer to run a mile than their parents did at the same age. And we have been talking about this a lot.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Kids these days are just not as cool as we were. No, I mean, we were cool. I mean, it's just now they're slow. I mean, on top of the helicoptering, on top of the titty baby, on top of all this stuff, now they can't even fucking run.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah, I do think that there is a big problem with all of this screen time and people not exercising and kids sitting around playing video games, not exercising. My oldest son was just home from Syracuse for a week for spring break. And I'm like, he doesn't exercise. And it drives me crazy. I didn't say a word to him about it, but in my mind, I'm like, what a mess.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Like you were home eight days and you didn't exercise at all, except for walk up to your room and walk down the stairs from your room. And it just, it, the lack of exercise, it's something that's probably more about me, but I'm just like, we have to move our bodies.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
They can quit trying to pretend like they're cars. I'm all for bikers having bike lanes.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
anyways bye for those of you that don't live in the bible belt this is ubiquitous i'm praying for you prayers up it's a god thing blah blah it drives me insane it's so bad i probably told this story before on the podcast i don't know if i have it i'll tell you guys again So my mother, total atheist, I mean, completely sees people that are religious fanatics as intellectually weak. All right.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
So that's the breeding grounds for my disdain with religion. I come by it honestly. So my youngest son, my oldest son, Dylan, when he was little, had chronic ear infections. And Josh was, of course, in one of his rehab stands, but that's neither here nor there. And I'm just desperate to get sleep. I'm desperate for his ears to be cleaned up. And to get in with an ENT is difficult for a toddler.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
So we go to this guy and I go in the waiting room and I'm so desperate and I'm sitting in the waiting room and I'm like, oh my God, the only thing on the coffee tables in this doctor's office are Bibles. Yeah. And then he has Billy Graham posters as the artwork. And I'm just like, where the fuck am I? How is this person a scientist? How did he make it through medical school?
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It's a Cult!
And I'm like starting in the bargaining stage. Like this other guy was a month long. I don't think I can go that many sleepless nights. This guy could get me in. No wonder he could get me in. You know, I'm going through all this stuff. And so I go, I go and he sees, he's like, we need to put tubes in and I have an opening tomorrow. And I'm like, oh shit. So I'm like, you know, we're just going.
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It's a Cult!
It's a, it was a good hospital. And so my mom comes with me to the surgery the next morning. And I'm holding Dylan, and we're like in the OR prep room. And he said, okay, it's routine. I'll go in. I'll put the tubes in. Yuck, yuck. I mean, he's like, no problem. I'm like, that sounds great. Do I stay with him until you put him under? So he gives some instructions.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
He goes, before we do anything, why don't we pray together? And I know that my mom is going, I mean, I just know, I can just feel it. I can feel that we're trusting this person to put tubes in the kid's ears. This quack, are you kidding me, Jennifer? And I can already sense it. But I'm desperate to get the ear infections to end.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I mean, because I'm just like a single mom with this baby that has all these ear infections. So I like reach out and grab his hand quickly. Yeah. as fast as I can. And I grabbed my mom's and my mother is like, he's, and it's not one of those, like God, it's like, Oh dear Jesus. You know, it's like Bible thump, nauseating prayer. And my mother is just glaring and rolling her eyes. And she's like,
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It's a Cult!
Oh, brother, this quack. Oh, what? Can you believe that he spent that much of his life studying science and he's still this crazy? Are we sure we want him operating on Dylan? I'm like, mom, I'm desperate. Right. And then there was that other time that. I was desperate around the same time period. Pumps and I were talking about this the other day.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
So Dylan went to this Mother's Day out at a church. And then they're like, yeah, next week we don't have Mother's Day out. And I'm like, what? Like, he needs to be here. She's like, no, we're closed for vacation Bible school. And he's like nine months old. And I'm like, can I sign Dylan up for vacation Bible school? Yeah. So I signed him up for Vacation Bible School.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
It's the same classroom, the same deal. It's just kind of shifted from daycare to like more Jesus interest. So I pick him up one afternoon from Vacation Bible School and I come home and he has all these papers like Jesus loves the babies and Jesus loves the children and God this, Jesus that. So I just thrown the stuff down on the kitchen island. My mother comes over. She walks in and she goes...
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, Jennifer, what is this? You know, like I had some sort of fucking propaganda in my house. You know, she was just appalled. And I was like, Mom, I signed him up for vacation Bible school. She's like, why would you do such a thing? Like, he's too young to indoctrinate. I'm desperate. I need for him to be gone like four hours a day.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Oh, here's one. I don't know if we've ever talked about this one. So when you were still married, you had some sort of back surgery or knee surgery or something. And your fucking dumb ass ex-husband sent a group text that I was, you know, he never did anything minor. I mean, I'm talking it was a 50 person deep torturous group text. Probably. And it said, princess just got out of her surgery.
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It's a Cult!
First of all. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's difficult to be an American right now. It is. It's really difficult that there's a huge portion of the country that... has excused just criminal behavior from Trump and the crackheads in his cabinet. It's gross. They're gross. The whole thing is just... We're gross by proxy because we live here. We're fucked. The whole thing is very gross.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Did I know this? I don't know. You had just gotten out of surgery. But I'm sitting – this is back when I smoked cigarettes. So this is probably – I quit smoking 11 years ago. This was probably about 15 years ago. So I'm sitting on my back porch and I see this Kirk and, you know, 743 others pop up on my phone. And I open it. It's an immediate eye roll. God damn.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Princess just got out of her surgery. And then he gives all this detail about what, you know, the surgeon's incision. Yeah. how many stitches, what was removed, what was tightened up, what was cleaned up. Nobody fucking wants to hear. Right. And then he, and then he ends it with, he ends it with, I know that God guided the surgeons. Oh yes. Stop. I did not know this. I would remember. Yes.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
And then all these people start hurting it and like, oh, prayers answered all this. And I responded in the group text in front of all your fucking diehard Christian friends. I'm so grateful for modern science. You can ask him. Some of your nieces and stuff were in that. And it was like prayer hand emojis and all this shit. And the more I saw, just the more disgusting I've gotten.
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It's a Cult!
I'm so grateful for modern science. Like none of that had anything to do with religion. And also, called you princess in the first sentence of a 53-person group text. I'm not saying you are or you aren't.
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It's a Cult!
You know what? I'll tell you what. You should start, after you go to the nude camp, you should start teaching a class on how not to pick a husband. I'm not saying I'm great, but you're better.
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It's a Cult!
Okay. Interesting, Beaver. She's really good at women. Well, but I mean, I have good... Kylie, what does that sound like to you? Does that sound gay?
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It's a Cult!
If I think... No, I think we know that you immediately knew he wasn't great. You immediately knew that he was a dork and that you were so cute.
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It's a Cult!
I went back on my... Yeah, you're right. And we had that relationship therapist on the podcast and she diagnosed you as an egomaniac.
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It's a Cult!
The dawning of a beaver is an egomaniac in a plot twist. You thought it would be the yapper Jennifer, but in a surprising plot twist, it's the beaver. Yep. Okay. Who's next? For princess.
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It's a Cult!
Yeah. I try not to, because I know our I've had it is so active and TikTok, Instagram, whatever. On our personal accounts, we really don't post a whole lot. No, I don't. I always forget. We just don't like, and I'm just like, I know that, I mean, there's a little bit of us goes a long way.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
And if we were just beating our own personal accounts, just, I mean, I think that we would end it for once and all. Once and for all.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
OK, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with my iPhone updating the camera roll for years. For years, the camera roll was one particular way. I knew how to operate it that add a little update where then you could enter dog in the search and then all the images of your dog popped up or you could enter. The other day I was looking for an image of my son's.
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It's a Cult!
Okay, let me give you my number for when you get divorced. Let me tell you guys something that's just really great that's happened because of the podcast. So Pumps and I take our dogs to the same dog school where they go doggy daycare and they're classmates and friends and they have a social media account. And we noticed, I don't know, for about three months, there was a lot of dog content.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Our dogs just weren't featured very much on it at all. At all. And so we get each other riled up about it. Like, why aren't our dogs being featured? Like, our dogs are photogenic and our dogs are cute. Like, why the fuck are these doodles getting all this airtime? Like, what the fuck's up with that? So we go up to the dog school to pick up our dogs together. And we ambush Stephanie, the owner.
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It's a Cult!
Shout out Bark of the Town, Oklahoma City. She's the best businesswoman ever. She's amazing. Stephanie and her husband, Todd, run it. So we go into Stephanie and we ambush her. I'm like, Stephanie, why isn't there been any Frenchie content on the Instagram page? And she's like, well, I mean, she's like, the girls kind of run it. And I'm like, here's the deal.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Like, I'm going to start one of the podcasts, but I've had it with Bark of the Town. If we don't get more Frenchie content. Yeah. Within 10 minutes, it was raining hellfire. Cha-cha, Debbie and Ollie on the Instagram page. So that's a really like little, you know, ace in the hole that we have that we kind of bullied. Sweet Stephanie. She's the sweetest. The nicest, best business owner.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Those employees are, I mean, the whole experience, her business is five stars. Top to bottom. And we kind of bullied her and threatened her. into featuring our dogs more on the Instagram page. And it worked like a charm. It worked like a charm. Here's the thing. I don't feel guilty about it.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I think Instagram is better. And I think her feed is better because of our said bullying activity at the dog school. I think so too. I really do. I hated that. That is a perk. It's a perk. It's a job perk. We're able to, and I told you about that time I was at the tennis and a girl walked in with a top knot headband. And then by the time she made it down the courts, it was off.
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with a former NBA Thunder basketball player named Tabo Cephalosha. And he used to live a couple of streets away from us when he played for the Thunder and he walked down the street one day and I took a picture of them. So I put in my iPhone kids on street with tall man, you know, and it can pop up. So that's a great added feature.
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I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, I love Phoenix. Immediately could tell that's like an immediate friend. Right. And I completely agree with him. I am so troubled by the normalization and the public's ability to excuse very blatant mental illness in leaders such as Nancy Mace, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and or low IQ. And Nancy Mace and Marjorie Taylor Greene are such like caricatures of human beings.
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It's a Cult!
They want to just belittle gay people and trans people. And they talk about it like there is an army of trans and gay people and drag queens waiting to attack the United States any given minute. And it's just, it's insane. It makes me crazy. They're an embarrassment to this country. They're an embarrassment to women. They're an embarrassment.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, I, here's my thing. Like anybody who is so consumed with trans people, when you're talking about less than 1% of the population and these people are marginalized and bullied and drug into the national election stage, like it's this major attempt by trans people to overturn the United States government is the way they make it sound. And Nancy Mace, that JK Rowling, uh,
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It's a Cult!
Now it's like the photos that used to be at the top or at the bottom and the bottom or at the top. And it, it, it's completely disorganized. And I don't know if a lot of people at Apple are doing ketamine with musk and then rolling out these updates, but it is not an improvement. It's made the camera feature worse. It's not a betterment of the camera roll.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Candace Owens, she has a YouTube channel with millions and millions and millions of views per video where she is trying to convince people that the French President Emmanuel Macron's wife, Brigitte Macron, is a man.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
It is just like, here's my thing. I, we have some friends that have a trans daughter and they're hurting right now. They feel vulnerable. They're wonderful parents. This isn't easy. It is a difficult thing and it's nobody's fucking business. And if it makes you feel good, to beat up on people. And we all were in school and you all, I'll just be very blunt about it.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
When we were in school, there was always a girl that was maybe what we would call a tomboy. And sometimes there was a boy that was more effeminate. And you see this happen in all societies, in nature, everywhere. Our only job is to not be mean to them. You don't have to be their best friends, but just don't be an ass. And these people are such assholes.
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It's a Cult!
And that brings us to Phoenix's second point, which is Jasmine Crockett. Black women are the epicenter of all civil rights movements in this country. They vote for everybody. All of the racists that say mean, horrible things about black people. Guess which group of people always vote to make sure you have Social Security and Medicare? Black people.
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It's a Cult!
Guess who is the backbone of the Democratic Party? Black women. So Jasmine Crockett is a superstar, in my opinion. She is whip smart. And she needs to be protected at all costs.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah, I do, too. I mean, the normalization of electing stupid people that MAGA has done and electing like people that aren't experts in their field, appointing, you know, RFK Jr., who said he has a brain worm, decapitated a whale and bizarrely set up a bear murder campaign. in Central Park, you know, and it's, you know, anti-vaxxer. And then we have these measles outbreaks.
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It's a Cult!
And I just think there's a job that we all have to really try to grow the online platforms of facts. And when you look at the right wing media echo chamber, it's massive. And they're the ones who scream censorship. Yeah. And it is it's not even close because outrage and hate is more clickable and people like to feast on it. And so I hope that there are young Gen Zers, millennials.
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It's a Cult!
that are brave enough to come out and make platforms and people to, you know, share their posts and grow a, in this age of unenlightenment to try to bring us back to, there are facts in this world and you can be a nut and you can, you know, be terrified of drag queens all you want to, or you could fucking have fun and go to a drag show. But it's, it's a real problem, but Jasmine Crockett's great.
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It's a Cult!
And I hope that, you know, I will say, And my kids, I always check in with them to see what they're watching. And there's some young like Gen Z people on YouTube that debate these crazy conservatives. And this one guy, I can't remember what his name is, but my son's watching all the time and he's fantastic and he gets like millions of views.
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It's a Cult!
So I hope that there's more and more and more of that because I think the embrace of stupidity is what bothers me most.
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These dipshits online that literally sit on Facebook all day long that think they know more than a neuroscientist. It's just more than I can fucking take. I know.
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But this cherry picking that they have. And this is something I want to talk about because sometimes you and I will do some Christian bashing and it's because we live in the buckle of the Bible belt and we see how obscene these evangelicals are and what a grift. these megachurches are and what a ruse these private Christian school educations are, hate academies. We see it.
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So when we speak out on that, then you have people online that are like, well, not all Christians are that way. And it's true. But here's the thing that we have to address as a society. When people on MAGA say, well, you're not a real American, which is not true. Pumps and I are real Americans.
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Yeah, I do think the stupidity has been going on for quite some time. It's just highlighted. Yeah. It's really highlighted. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie the beaver.
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And when people say, well, they're not real Christians, well, the Bible is inherently flawed and contradictory. It claims that the earth is flat. It claims that, you know, what's-his-face Jonah lived in a whale. It has, you know, like two daughters getting their – dad all liquored up and having sex with him. And so it's not like this great moral thing to follow.
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Like we've advanced far beyond this Iron Age book. So my thing is, Christians cherry pick, like the good ones cherry pick the good parts of the Bible. And we're not that mad at you if you try to, you know, echo Jesus. But if you start saying that all of that shit is real, that kind of bothers me. You can say it's real to you, but you can't then project that onto everybody else as being real.
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But there is an inherent problem with religion where people cherry pick what they want out of it. And these crazy Christian nationalists and these crazy evangelicals, these megachurch grifters, they pick out the parts that they want that benefit them. And then there are some good people that pick out the good parts that benefit them. But it is all from the same book and from the same religion.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah, and I just think the larger point is, We have to quit saying like, well, you're a real American, you're a fake American. They're real Christians or they're fake Christians. The situation is that a lot of Moses, Mike Johnson, he thinks he's a big fucking Christian.
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It's a Cult!
And maybe there's an Episcopalian that doesn't take the Bible literally, that is far more rational and sane and educated and intelligent and kind and might have a bit of serenity that might be appealing. Yeah.
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you know marketable but that person wouldn't then grandstand about it be like oh that's a really cool person what's going on there but the the the we are the one of the most religious first world countries where these politicians have to run around and talk about how much they love jesus all the time and in europe that shit just doesn't happen it's kind of disqualifying right
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I can't deal with it. Like there's just certain times where I want to go into my camera roll and there's certain things I want to look at. And now like I'll enter a – I can't. Those of you that know, know. It is a horrible improvement and it's just another thing that's gone to shit in Trump's America.
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Politicians don't talk about that. And we're also like the prude, the most prude first world country like about nudity. And yet there can be all of this violence in movies. Right. Nobody cares about that. But when there's a naked person or where the most sexist country like you and I can sit here on this podcast and can throw an F-bomb or whatever. And you'll people in the comment section.
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I don't like that language. And these are liberals saying it, but they're misogynist. They're misogynist liberals that say it. Where if Joe Rogan or Jon Stewart or Trevor Noah threw an F-bomb, nobody would even think to write that in the comment section. And so there's just a lot of work to do. My personal opinion, having grown up completely secular in the buckle of the Bible belt.
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The cancer, the epicenter of the cancer is here. And these mega churches are a, it is a racket. It is a pyramid scheme. It is a riffraff, knickknack, paddywhack, indoctrinate people. And they want to grow and grow and grow. Go to any mega churches website and say, great news. We just opened up five more churches. Great news. Great news. We just opened up 10 more dunk tanks.
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Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
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A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
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It's a Cult!
And I do think the eagle is an attractive bird, a more interesting bird than like a sparrow. But I don't I feel like we need to retire it and just go all in on beaver. I kind of like the beaver. Yeah, I do too.
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It's a Cult!
Well, that's a... I mean, I'll tell you what. These men are on you like a tick on a dog. You got that DJ out there in Brooklyn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's on you like a tick on a dog. And then we got this guy wants to take you to the prom. And I'm sure now that he knows you're going by Beaver...
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It's a Cult!
I'm kind of codependent. You're driving customers away from our podcast. Listeners, you're driving, you're putting a wedge between us and our listeners by not dating. You're single-handedly sabotaging this podcast. You had, I mean, there's so many things we've wanted you to do that you just want, you refuse to do. Oh, cause I don't want to go to a naked camp or whatever, a nudist camp.
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It's a Cult!
Hear me out. Okay. Hear me out. So Donning of a Beaver rewards life from the all-inclusive, you know, what are they called? Like heathen. I mean, they have these nudist camps have like the name is like, you know, heathen. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Yeah. And, you know, like you could go live. You could. Live naked. Yeah. Yeah. Put that on the, I'll think about it. Kylie, what's next?
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Oh my God. Closeted listeners. I love that. In North Dakota, you have to be. That is, I mean, here's the deal, Cody. Those hinges have got to fly off. Fly them off. In Trump's America, you just got to let those hinges fly off.
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How about that? Yeah, you know, there... A city like ours is purple. And when you get – when people have – when they get it and they get how fucking crazy MAGA is and just what a harebrained, weird cult it is where you've got like one of Trump's preachers, spiritual advisors, that's now been arrested for sexually abusing a 12-year-old. And then you've got him letting out the Tate brothers.
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It's a Cult!
And you have all these big evangelicals that are like, oh, my God, yeah, I voted for Trump because he's a Christian. It's just like when you – I guess you have to be just double digit IQ and a dipshit and then in a cult and then you're all in on it. But if you don't get it, there's such a camaraderie and going, can you believe these fucking assholes? Right.
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You know, there's just a camaraderie to humiliating these people behind their backs.
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don't they're not mega they'll hate mega i was shocked that's great that's great news that's great news for democracy um okay kylie i believe that we did a call to action on our here podcast, DEI podcast, that we wanted a DEI jingle.
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I think we've had a lot of people submit them. I know that Robbie from Australia, our top Australian correspondent, sent me some AI jingles to my Instagram. I wouldn't know how to retrieve them or download them, but they were pretty good. I was pretty impressed with the robot.
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Please write a jingle for I've Had It podcast. They've now rebranded themselves as America's Top DEI Podcast. Make it sound like a game show and really catchy, and then it makes it. I can't do the voice activation on my phone. See? You can type it. Oh, you can type it? Yeah. Where do I type it?
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That is so good. Okay. Here's what we need to do in Trump's America. So Kylie, let's keep a chart. Okay. That's Stephen Smith. That was Stephen Smith. Okay. Stephen Smith. And I liked it. It made me laugh. Catchy. It was catchy. And it also is kind of like a double entendre for our listeners. It could be, I've had it with gin and pumps or I've had it with gin and pumps.
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It's a Cult!
Like they've had it with us. Right. You know, so like if we piss them off today, if there's somebody who loves the new Apple update or somebody who likes to ride bicycles or somebody who wants to go to a prom and keeps getting stood up and rejected, then they can play it with either meaning, with either intent.
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Of course. That's kind of what it sounded like. Yeah. I would like some more jingles. I quite enjoyed that. I did too. So AI puts the music with it. Yeah. I liked the music too. It was real. Yeah. They do the whole thing. I didn't know that. Yeah. Okay. I have some news stories I'm going to share with the listener. Okay.
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The first one is a bad marriage is much worse for your health than being single. High quality marriages characterized by satisfaction, positive attitudes, and low levels of hostility are linked to better health. Conversely, low quality or troubled marriages can be significant sources of stress, potentially leading to adverse health effects.
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Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. I think we should retire the eagle. You do? Yeah. I think the eagle has to be retired and here's why. Okay. We have flirted with the beaver becoming our mascot. It's the mascot of Canada. And that was my next point was that Canadians tend to be fighting for America more than MAGA is fighting for America.
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Unmarried individuals on average report higher levels of happiness than those in unhappy marriages. This suggests that being single... may be more beneficial for one's well-being than remaining in a detrimental marital relationship.
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I am happy about that bike lane because these bikers – the other day, Roman and I were driving and going to lunch together, and there was a biker at the intersection who And everybody was stopped and it was stopped at a red light, not hugged over to the curb. And Roman goes, is the biker pretending to be a car? And I said, yeah, that's exactly what's going on right there.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but sadly, so many people that we know are stuck in these marriages with really either, you know, untreated alcoholics, untreated pill poppers, womanizers. And the man holds the purse strings and the woman feels like if I leave, then he's going to be so punitive, not only to me, but also to my kids. So they take all the bullets for their family.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Okay. Next up, we have people who answer texts quickly are more caring. Slow repliers are emotionally unavailable, study says. The study found that fast repliers were rated as more empathetic, caring, and engaged in relationships. People who took hours or days to respond were perceived as less interested, more emotionally detached. and even unreliable.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Deliberate slow responders, those who purposely wait to text back, were often viewed as playing mind games. Researchers believe that texting speed creates an instant impression of emotional availability. So what are you?
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
With text, I am a very quick responder. Where I've gotten really slow at responding are like DMs because – or, you know, something that's in an app. Because sometimes I'm like, okay, I don't want to get on Instagram. Okay. And then I'll get on Instagram and then I go look at the DMs and I'm like, oh my God, I don't know if I can go through all of these.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Because I feel like doing the pod and then we do the other pod about Trump. When I get home, I want to just decompress from all of it. But in general, I'm a very quick text returner because I've been in business for so long. And it's just like time is money. You know who's a very slow text returner?
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
into that I don't think of you as emotionally unavailable because she responds to her bosses because we're her food source I'm emotionally available to you we're the food source I mean it's not I wouldn't be too flattered by it no I know but do you slow play Anna's responses no Anna gets responses so like you three are the three ladies in my life that get a response what about Seth Seth gets a response
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Let's share. I just want to share with you all a little bit about, um, so Oliver Glizzard pumps his French bulldog, her biological child, which now you understand that, right? I totally get the biological. Like I, you pushed him out. I, I pushed him out. I nursed him.
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I did all of it. All of the things. And so now that she's a member of that, Oliver Glizzard has an issue in his home life where dogs need a pack leader. And Pumps is America's legal eagle, America's greatest legal mind, the Princess Diana podcasting, all of these things. A pack leader, she is not. I'm too soft.
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When Blizzard stayed with me while she was on vacation with her children, we had zero issues. I was the leader. We had conversations. He did all of the stuff that my dogs did. So the doggy daycare that we send our dogs to has recommended he needs a trainer. And the trainer called Pumps and said, I want to take him and board him and train him for three weeks.
I've Had It
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They wanted to send him to boarding school. So she calls me because all of this is new to her. She calls me and she's like, they want to take him for like three weeks. Would you do that?
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I couldn't send my human children to boarding school. And I couldn't send my dogs, especially my dogs, to boarding school. Yeah.
I've Had It
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Okay. Great business idea in this unregulated capitalist society of ours. Boarding school for infants.
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All right. Today we have a guest, and he is a nurse, a comedian, and an advocate. Let's welcome to I've Had It, Nurse Blake. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose.
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The Money Shot
One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Let's welcome to I've Had It, Nurse Blake. Blake, how are you today?
I've Had It
The Money Shot
That's so sweet. I am so glad because Kylie was just reading reviews before you came on. And a man from Germany named Chaz gave us a one-star review because his girlfriend forced him to listen to us on a road trip. And he said it made him so insane and triggered him so much he had to come to the Internet to write that one-star review, to which Pumps and I said, donka.
I've Had It
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Ooh, plot twist. I love that. Chaz is getting broken up with for that review.
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That's right. We are the rebellion, asshole island. We are a way to get you through Trump's America. We are the road to the end of this shit show.
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You know, we are the only first world country that doesn't do this. And then I remember it was probably five years ago or so. Time magazine did this article about what a racket the whole medical industrial complex is. So, you know, those little cups. that you put pills in to take to your patients. I think that they were charging the hospital something like $10.
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And I'm getting it wrong, but it was something egregious. The whole thing is a racket. And it's so sad to me that we live in a country that values profit over human beings.
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So let's lighten it up a little bit. And Kylie, our lovely producer, emailed with you prior to coming on. And you provided a list of grievances. And one that I really want to hone in on is, I believe you wrote here, people that stick things up their butt that shouldn't be there. And what I have to say to that is, go on.
I've Had It
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It's constant. It's a constant thing, especially with like if you have a person that is performing some type of repair work at your home. I particularly have an aversion to hearing the minutia of plumbing. Oh, yeah. Electrical wiring.
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What about the old lore? I think every town and every city in America has this story about some local person. And in Oklahoma City, we have this story about these guys that own this furniture store that allegedly- stuck hamsters and or gerbils up their ass. And I think this is pretty universal for every city and town. Like an urban legend everybody has. So do you know of any rodents up the ass?
I've Had It
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We've got to dissect this. I mean, is the gerbil alive? Like what's the point of that? Alive? And so it just kind of like burrows in the butt? Well, it's like a vacuum. And then obviously does it suffocate? No.
I've Had It
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You know what I think? I think that in order to buy a gerbil, because of all of these rumors, whether substantiated or not, that you should probably have some sort of background check for the safety of the gerbil.
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hvac complications and fixes audio visual complications and fixes plumbing here's how i like to deal with that i have a problem i make the phone call i want you to provide the solution and provide the bill i really don't want that much more interaction beyond that
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See, here's my thing. And I believe this. And you can be our LGBTQ source on this. I believe that in the MAGA world, the reason that they have to talk about we're so alpha, right? We're so masculine. Real men do this. Real men do that. I think they're either closet gay or closet bi. Because I don't need to go out and affirm my heterosexuality all of the time. I just don't need to.
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And if somebody calls me a lesbian, I think, thank you. Because lesbians are like, got their shit together.
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And so my thought is, Blake, is that you've got these guys, these bubba's, right? They're out there living in rural America or going to their mega churches. Maybe they live in the city or the suburbs. And when they're watching porn, they really like the way the man looks.
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and then that's that's the money shot that's when liftoff happens right and then they feel so bad about it and then they've got to go oh my god i'm an alpha and i've got a ford f-150 and i got this big truck and i'm gonna put truck nuts on my truck and all this so as somebody who is gay and has been on dating apps and stuff what is your uh feedback for my theory
I've Had It
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I often find myself in situations where, let's say maybe somebody came to repair my dishwasher, where they, I say, did you figure out what was wrong with it? Yes, it's that, I go, it's okay, don't worry. Don't tell me.
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So several questions about gay conversion therapy, the counselors at the gay conversion therapy, gay or straight.
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And so you had the most gay sex at gay conversion camp. Well, that makes sense.
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You have a green light to fix it and you can just provide me with the bill. And it's almost like the person's insulted. And I want to say, look, you don't want me to go on about what my process is in picking a paint color for my interior design clients. You're not interested in that. And so I'm not interested in the minutia of the electrical wirings of the dishwasher. I am so... I have gratitude.
I've Had It
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Yeah, they say it's psychological torture and abuse. And I think it drives a lot of people, sadly, to suicide.
I've Had It
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I have had it with gay conversion therapy camps. I think that they, anytime you try to take away somebody's identity or just inherently who they are, you're meddling in things that aren't your business. It's toxic, raging codependency. And I think it's evil.
I've Had It
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I have never heard my gay male friends or lesbian friends talk about being gay and gayness and gay stuff as much as MAGA men and women do. They are obsessed with it. I've never seen anything like it.
I've Had It
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Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it web MD.
I've Had It
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Well, this is what facilitates Facebook doctors. Right. And, you know, during the pandemic, I told pumps, all of these fucking morons on Facebook that think that they know more about virology than all of these experts in their field, they should go, they should have at hospitals in the parking lot tents that says Facebook hospital.
I've Had It
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And the Facebook doctors could be there and you could get Facebook care. And then for those of us that wore masks, got vaccinated and tried to progress through the pandemic, we could go to the real doctors.
I've Had It
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I was so, you know, we were also bored during the pandemic. So I got on Facebook and I went to high school in the suburbs of Oklahoma city, very religious people, very Trumpy. So I was just all over their profiles. And it was amazing to me, these men that they would write like, like they were total MD scientists and that they had cracked the case on it. And I'm like,
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I remember back in high school, you were the biggest fucking dipshit ever in the history of everything. And I would probably deduce that you've gotten dumber since then. Right. Not smarter based on these posts.
I've Had It
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Right. I'm in awe that you have this specialty because I couldn't find my ass with both hands and a flashlight, you know? Right. So I hear you on that. Let me tell you what I've had it with. And this has bothered me for years and years and years. It's bothered me my whole life. So you're watching a movie, a show, something with two actors. And it jumps to the morning scene.
I've Had It
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See, that's key. That has to be a rule. Yeah. Okay. Had it or hit it. Drag queens.
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It's so sad for me because, and I know it's compounded sadness for you, but like this community of the LGBTQ plus community is very self-contained. Generally, it's not really into kids, not like churches are into kids. And so, you know- I mean, you know, churches are like super duper duper into kids. They want to indoctrinate them young, you know, all this stuff.
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And so it is really the steps backwards on this, especially that governor of yours, Kitten Heels is what we call him because he wears his little heels. But our governor is the same, but it's just, it's so... I'm like, out of all the shit that you riled up about, it's not kids getting shot in school. It's not people filing for medical bankruptcy and or dying because they can't get health care.
I've Had It
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It's drag queens? Seriously? And if you don't want your kid to be – I would drop my sons off at a drag queen story time. a million times out of a million more than I would ever take them to a youth Christian camp. I would never, ever, ever do it. My husband's a criminal defense attorney. And anytime he has had somebody that has, um,
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a case involving sexual issues with children you look at their history all roads lead back to some form of a youth group they are full of pedophiles and sex offenders these churches and they just want to point the finger at the lgbtq plus community for no reason with no evidence i i
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I really admire nurses because I have to tell you, it is a component that I didn't get. If my husband is sick, I'm more Nurse Ratched than Nurse Nightingale. I am, I, I, it's very difficult for me to have empathy. It's, I'm super dismissive of all of it. Granted, he is also a hypochondriac. And so that exacerbates my dismissiveness, but I'm going to defend Josh.
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And they're waking up together in bed. And they start talking. And then the next thing you know, they're full-blown French kissing. And I immediately think you just reminded me that you're actors because nobody is going to go in and French kiss that early morning breath. Right. You have to brush your teeth before you French kiss.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yeah, you're a good nurse. Yeah, I'm a pretty good nurse. We were on tour in Nashville and I came down with like a fever and I just felt terrible. And we had to do a live show and perhaps like she took me, she found a doctor and she took me to the doctor. And then we came back and she got me soup and she had Advil and water. And she was a million times better person than I ever would have been.
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And she'd been the sick one. She was so good to me. And you know what? it really it helped me get better more quickly see oh that's awesome the care that she put into me like i was like if pumps can be this nice to me i can get better i believed in it and not too long later josh was sick and she's like Yeah. She was like, are you going to get him some soup? And I was like, no, he's fine.
I've Had It
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Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it. Trump's America. Oh, had it, had it over it, over it.
I've Had It
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I agree. And here's what I want to say to you, Blake. of the LGBTQ plus community and all of our listeners in that community, all of our listeners that are in marginalized communities and all of our listeners that are allies and just not dumb fucks. We have to stay engaged. We have to form communities.
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and we have to rebel against this we are the rebellion and it's important to find spaces like this that you can still remember that it's okay to laugh and it's okay to care about one another and it's okay to love one another and we need to all go find good trouble during this time and not be fearful and not be scared because it's so heartbreaking to me that what you shared earlier that you know people who are too scared
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to come out. And we have to push back against that and stand up for all of the people in our lives and that aren't in our lives that just are trying to be who they are.
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blake i just i love you i feel like we're really good friends already and you are so handsome and so funny and just an absolute doll and thank you for coming on our show thanks so much for having me huge fan tell our listeners where they can find you
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I don't understand why the producers, the directors, the actors don't say like when they start to kiss, one of the actors needs to say, oh my God, not yet. I have terrible morning breath. Let me go brush my teeth. That's real. It takes me out of the movie immediately. And all I can think about is if this were real life, it's chronic halitosis city.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
And how old do you think he is? Late 20s. So here's the thing. I bet he's probably mid-30s because there is a time period. You and I talked about this recently when we had Eric Swalwell on, the congressman. Yeah, because he looks so young to me. But I think there's a time period between around 25 to 27 to around 45 to 47.
I've Had It
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There's a 20-year window where it's difficult to reach in and grab somebody's age. I think especially for men. Especially for men.
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Bald as a cue ball. Well, I'm just curious about this. Will you Google percentage of 54-year-olds that are bald, male? I'll be shocked. I'll be shocked. I'm going to guess. Don't tell us yet, Kylie. I'm going to guess. I'm going to go 37%. I've got 50%. Half. Half. So we're about in the middle.
I've Had It
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I think that women are so hard on themselves about age. And I, I just, I think that we need to lessen up a little bit. You're at an age right now where your kids are off to the races. You still look fantastic. Do you look like you're 30? No, but you don't look 70 and you look beautiful and you look great and you've done a whole makeover.
I've Had It
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And I just, that's the one thing that you do to yourself all the time is you're very like internalized ageism, right? you're really not that old. Like Jennifer Lopez is your age. Like 54 is just not that old with life expectancy. And really, I'm the happiest I've ever been. My kids are gone. You look a million times better at 54 than you did at 44 and 34.
I've Had It
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not 34 well i was pregnant at 34 i i want you to be kinder to yourself don't be so uh have so much internalized ageism i do have that you look fantastic i feel like now i'm fishing for compliments i didn't mean to do that you look fantastic and listener pumps tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.
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The Money Shot
It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
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That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
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The only caveat to that would be like 1980s soap operas. They can get away with all of it because it's all so ridiculous. You know, somebody dies and they come back to life. They die again. They're back again. The, you know, waking up perfectly beautiful. I need soap opera actors to never have halitosis again. And to always be wrinkle-free, makeup and camera ready. I need that from them.
I've Had It
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But soap operas are kind of dead now. And so I need for these actors to say in real time, my breath smells like hammered dog shit. This kiss is a really bad idea. I need to go scrape my tongue, floss my teeth. Brush my teeth for two minutes and then maybe do two to three rounds of Listerine with a couple of gargles.
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Then I'm going to come back and I am going to mack down with you like nobody's business. After you do the same on your end. That's right.
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You can't do it. Your breath stinks. Listen up, Hollywood elites. This bothers everybody. There's not a person that watches that, I don't think, that thinks – Oh, I bet they have great breath. Your brain immediately jumps to the human experience of waking up knowing that you need to do something with your mouth. Right. It's so bad. That it needs to be cleaned. Yeah. No, I agree.
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Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. All right. Kylie, Kathy. Yes. What is going on on the Internet?
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Most people probably would think that was... In Trump's America, I take it as a badge of honor.
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You know what? That is the fact that he even owned it. Right. In the review that he was so triggered that he took time out of a Sunday, the Lord's Day, to go write and memorialize his passion for our show. And whether it's negative passion or positive passion, Chaz from Germany, I feel your passion.
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Chaz, come on back. We might say something that's smart. Chaz from Germany, I just have to say, danke. All right. I have some news that I'd like to report on. Texas cheerleader 17 was banned from caring for her own pets after poisoning her rival's show goat. What?
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The high school cheerleader charged with torturing and killing her rival's goat has been barred by a court from looking after her own pets. The 17-year-old was the newly installed president of Future Farmers of America at Vista Ridge High School in Cedar Park, Texas, when she allegedly poisoned a six-month-old goat owned by a 15-year-old girl at the same school.
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She is accused of twice poisoning the goat called Willie, the second time fatally in October last year. She is charged under Texas law with one count of cruelty to livestock and animal torture. Now this girl cannot play with her dog, cat, or rabbit without supervision. A judge has ruled as a condition of her bail. No, I agree with that.
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This is a sign of like sociopathy. Right. Serial killers. Yeah. And to poison an animal is a brutal death. And so it's a torturous death. And the fact that this girl – Like, was she jealous of the show goat? That's what I'm wondering. I didn't know, first of all, that there was this type of rivalry in the show goat world. I didn't either.
I've Had It
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You know, you might remember back in the day, back when we were younger, there was a Texas cheerleader again. Mom ordered a hit. on her daughter's rival cheerleader.
I've Had It
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I think the – every time you have a headline that starts with these two words –
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texas cheerleader right it's gonna be bad you've got a problem and i feel really bad for willie the goat and i don't think that this i don't think that this punishment goes far enough i agree i think the judge was soft i think maybe chas from germany should weigh in on this yes chas get out there and figure out how to punish this girl appropriately you know chas's girlfriend right now is like you've got to listen to this he's going to be like oh
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I hate them. Because he said in his review, she loved it that we irritated him so much.
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So shout out to Chaz's girl. Okay. Here's another news story. 70% of millennials would rather have pets than kids. A recent study reveals that about 70% of millennials consider their pets to be akin to children.
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Significantly shaping their life choices, lower costs and increased lifestyle flexibility are key factors driving this preference, with many millennials opting to prioritize their furry companions over traditional parenthood.
I've Had It
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This trend has fueled the expansion of high-end pet services, including luxury boarding accommodations and gourmet pet dining options, reflecting the generation's desire to provide elevated care and experience for their pets. So what I have to say to this... is these millennials are smart. Yes, that's what I was going to say. I, of course, I love my boys unconditionally.
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They're the apple of my eye. But I really enjoy the time spent with my dogs more than I enjoy the time spent with my children. And here's why. The dogs always want to do what I want to do. They always like me. They're always on the same page at the same time as me, the human children. We get into a lot of bumping heads, sometimes stuff I say they think is stupid.
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I can literally sit and captivate my French Bulldog's attention for hours on end, and they just look back at me adoringly. So I would say dog pets are greater than human children.
I've Had It
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Well, and it's also, it's like when you're trying to draw a boundary and you're doing what all of the, uh, you know, self-help algorithm says to do, the self-help books, our therapists, and you're advocating for yourself. Right. And that person just will not let you. Here's the thing.
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I think that every boomer, Gen Xer can relate to everything you just said and you summed it up perfectly because it just was a foregone conclusion. And what's so sad right now is you're seeing a backpedaling. You remember during the election, J.D. Vance.
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called women that chose not to have children, childless cat ladies, and were demeaning because what they're finding is women in positions of leadership and power are excelling and surpassing men. And so I love that these millennial and Gen Z women don't feel the way we did.
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And listen, if you choose to get married, if you choose to have kids, if you choose to have kids without getting married, you choose to partner up and have kids, at the end of the day, it's really nobody's business. Exactly.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I think it's a meaning that we harp on things. So is that what that is? Yeah, I actually don't know the definition. Okay, see, I'm not the only one. Kylie doesn't know. Okay, moving along to our news stories. I have really bad news for you chumps. Okay. So do you remember when we were younger and our friends had moms that had a set of names?
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Like my mom's name was Linda and a bunch of my girlfriends had moms. And their name was Linda. And there was like Brenda and other names. And those were the old lady names. Right. Well, we have bad news. Gen Z wrote a list of old lady names.
I've Had It
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And they are Ashley, Amanda, Jessica, Stephanie, which is my sister's name, Jennifer, Christy, Tracy, Stacy, Amy, Crystal, Angela, Kelly, Lisa, Jordan, and on and on. But you made it twice. Oh, Angela and Angie.
I've Had It
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I don't think so. I think that would be an exclusive if they made an evangelical Christian mother's naming.
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Yeah, that's a different list. Got it. Okay. All right. Next story. People who refuse to share food are more independent and usually better with money. Study says new research suggests that people who are protective of their food tend to exhibit higher levels of independence and financial discipline.
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This personality trait is linked to strong boundaries, goal setting, and an instinct for delayed gratification. And all of you may remember cinnamon roll cake. That's exactly what popped in my head. Which happened at my house the Christmas of 2023. And I had made cinnamon rolls, pop and bake, of course, because I felt like cooking. Right.
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And I was eating my cinnamon roll and delaying gratification for the center bite. And I turned to acknowledge one of my children because I'm a doting mother first and foremost. And I turned back around and the center of my cinnamon roll had been eaten despite my guarding and protecting it.
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And I will just say anecdotally, listener, that I am more independent than Josh and I am a million times better with my money than Josh is.
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You know, everybody knows how I feel about these megachurches and evangelical Christianity in particular, and the damage that megachurch culture, which is this prosperity gospel, and evangelical Christianity has done to a large portion of the population is generational, it's cascading, it's insidious, it's horrible.
I've Had It
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I eat a bite of your food all the time. That's different. Like we're at a level where I can say, don't eat that. I don't want you to eat it. Like we don't have any. I guess it depends on whom you want to steal the bite from. I'm with acquaintances and somebody said, can I try that? I would let them. But I would think I don't want you trying my food. I didn't offer it.
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I do kind of feel a sense of protection and maybe it's stinginess.
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If you if I'm with you and I. my list of approved dining companions, which is very small on hand. I would share bites with all of them, right? The person whom I don't like to share with the most is Josh because Josh is always a bite shopper and he does it to me. He does it to my children. He's constantly,
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hovering, examining our food, looking at it very closely, looking for that superior bite, looking for the perfect bite to take from people. And even if it's not a bite and it's like a milkshake, then he wants to take the milkshake.
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away and it just happened recently when we were in Syracuse for Dylan's graduation all the restaurants full we couldn't get reservations there was a five guys on campus so we schlep over to five guys I get a junior cheeseburger no fries because I want to reward myself with a chocolate shake And I specifically ordered those two things because I knew I could eat and drink all of them.
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I said, Josh, are you getting a shake? He said, no, he's not getting a shake because he's so healthy and makes good eating choices. Yak, yak, blah, blah. Well, guess who wants to start eating my shake?
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josh and he doesn't just take it and take a sip out of the straw he puts the straw to the back of the cup and we're pouring it down our throats right we're we're we're just gulping inhaling it and he went in twice for that and i just i it makes me feel angry bitter and resentful See, 25 years of this, of just stealing my shit, stealing my shit, it drives me fucking crazy.
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He's shopping the table, shopping the bites. He is. He's always shopping the bites. And from time to time. He'll ask me if I'm hungry and I'm like, no. And then maybe we're door dashing something. It takes forever for it to get to the house. And by the time it gets there, I am a little hungry, but I go in humble. I go in and I'm like, tell tuck between the legs.
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I'm like, Hey, I wasn't hungry, but I can, I can smell it. It smells kind of good. Can I have a little bite? And he is very gracious and he is very generous, but he doesn't have the 25 year deficit of food thievery that I have. That's fair. Okay. That's fair. All right. Next up, study reveals stark difference in life expectancy across the United States over the past century. Okay.
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And the whole evangelical model, the prosperity gospel, you have these people that go to these mega churches and tithe because the pastor tells them that's what Jesus wants them to do. And that they will then be favored by God and they will receive blessings. I remember I had this nut girl that worked for me a long time ago, total Bible thumper. I mean, like off the rails.
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The longest and shortest life expectancies for women born in 2000 compared to 1900. So if you live in Washington, D.C., New York, California, Massachusetts or Hawaii, you're going to be living a lot longer. The shortest lifespans are West Virginia, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Mississippi, Arkansas. And what I want to point out to you all is you have been propagandized to believe that blue states are bad.
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right blue states are uh they are donor economies they are what fund the the machine that is the united states uh economy and where most of the taxes are paid people live longer they're more educated and uh they tend to be more open-minded that last part the open-minded and the educated that's the problem that maga has because they want you dumb
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overweight and educated and you know I guess a drain on society so if you notice the all of these other states West Virginia our state of Oklahoma Kentucky Mississippi Arkansas all of those states are are red states, and those are considered economically parasitic states, meaning they take more in taxes than they pay in. And, I mean, this is so true.
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And here's just a point I also want to point out, back to Pumps' grievance. If the evangelical myth that if you pray and you turn your life over to God and you tithe, then God favors you, then these red states would be the richest, healthiest, the most anointed, hashtag blessed states that there are.
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And in fact, the more religious the state, the evidence shows, not me, the evidence shows the more fucked up the state. Listen up, listener. If you rent, and if you haven't heard of Bilt, you're about to thank me. Earn your favorite airline miles and hotel points through Bilt just by paying your rent online. Now let me explain.
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this episode of i've had it is brought to you by progressive insurance fiscally responsible financial geniuses monetary magicians these are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds because progressive offers discounts for paying in full owning a home and more plus you can count on their great customer service
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to help you when you need it so your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Okay, so you know how there's like the manosphere, right? And now there's like a woman's fear, right? And it's all bad, all bad.
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It's all toxic, all propaganda. I think we need to start the smartest fear. And I think the best skill set that somebody can have in 2025 is the ability to spit facts with a little commentary in under 90 seconds. And I found the leader of the smartest fear. And he is our next guest. And his name is Professor Scott Galloway. Professor Galloway, welcome to I've Had It.
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She had like three or four kids and she and her husband didn't have that much money at all. And she only worked for me part time and I paid her well. But she said to me one day that, you know, they were scraping up the money together to tithe. And I had given her like a bonus because I just closed out a big interior design job. And it wasn't a whole lot of money. It was a few hundred dollars.
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Thank you. I follow you on Instagram and I genuinely mean this. I think you're one of the best short form communicators that there is to combat all of the propaganda and just batshit insanity with the litter boxes and all this crazy shit that you sometimes you end up over there and you're like, what is going on? And you're like, oh, this is how Trump won. I get it now.
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And I think you're a great voice of opposition to that because you're very well-rounded and very smart, sharp as a tack, I would say.
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Well, what we like to do here is start off talking about petty grievances. And so what have you had it with?
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Back to your point about you wanting us to be the good guys. As somebody who is a professor and you see this attack on education, attack on universities. And the defunding of us being the innovators, the people who create the software that makes your iPhone operate. Can you talk a little bit about the economy that Trump and the sycophants surrounding him – I cannot call them economists –
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that say that we want to have all of these Chinese jobs back here. And then you have European nations right now getting our researchers that universities are having to let go and scooping them up over to Europe. Can you talk about this from the angle of being inside the education system, the higher education system?
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I said, hey, you know, you really did great coming in extra to help me get this closed out. I'm going to give you a little extra cash. And she then said, you know, my husband and I scraped together enough money to tithe. And they went to some whacked out evangelical watered down megachurch where the pastor benefits the most from all of this. Right.
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And I knew that by scraping together the money to tithe, that then God would reward me. And that's what's happening right here. I remember just thinking, had you not tithed, I still would have given you this. Right. Either way, I was giving you the bonus. If you were an atheist, if you were a Jew, if you were Islam, if you were a Satanist, you were still going to get this bonus.
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Let's talk about, because we've gone there, I'm an atheist and I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, okay? So I- Where do you live? Oklahoma City.
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Raised an atheist. I mean, just stuck out like a sore thumb. But when I get to the issue of, you talked about Hamas being a death cult, which I concur. I think it's bananas. But I also now, as a person who is not even remotely impacted by religion, I see the aggressions of Israel to combat what happened on October 7th as an overreach and war crimes.
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And so I feel like this conversation ends up being framed as, if you speak out against Israel, you're anti-Semitic. And that it's this very black and white narrative that forms. And the fact of the matter is like, of course I oppose Hamas and these horrific Islamic Sharia law style organizations.
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But I also completely think Benjamin Netanyahu is a total war criminal that's creating millions of more Hamas. I mean, what I see happening over there is abusive and difficult to comprehend and difficult to watch it and to know that our government funds some of this where you see hospitals blown up. I feel like there's a lot of propaganda in there.
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And then to put the burden on these kids, and kids historically have always been anti-war. Back to Vietnam, that's what the college experience is, is you're anti-war and you're radical about it. I feel like the way sometimes this gets framed is it doesn't allow for nuance. What's your take on that?
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It has zero, zero to do with the fact that your megachurch pastor is ripping you off, selling you this bill of goods. But who else does this? MAGA, the entire thing is a grift and a ripoff. And nobody really wants to address the megachurch evangelical problem in the United States because they are such victims. Oh, my God, Christians are being persecuted.
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And it's like if you're a part of an organization where you deem criticism as persecution, by definition, you're in a cult. Right. It's just the way it is. We get criticized all the time. The Democratic Party gets criticized all the time. But if you notice, if you criticize MAGA, trigger city. You criticize evangelical movement, trigger city. You criticize the Catholic Church, trigger city.
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We have been breathtakingly incompetent. You had our Secretary of State Colin Powell that went and lied. And then they went and invaded Iraq. And I remember my mother calling me and saying, this is insane. This is not who attacked us. Of course, we all know it was the Saudis who Trump just went and had a huge circle jerk with. 100%. Who funded 9-11.
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And so I feel like this is always just so much more nuanced. And when I see what is happening in Palestine and I play tennis every day at lunch, that's my thing. And there's a girl and we were talking and she was saying, I wish I could go back to my home country. There's not very many Jews, not very many Palestinians in Oklahoma City. All right. It's not a big international mecca. It's very waspy.
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And so I said, where are you from? And she said, well, my family's originally from Palestine. And I grabbed her arm and I said, I'm so sorry what's happening to your country. This girl is not an emotional, you know, stereotypical. She started crying and she said, nobody has even acknowledged what I'm watching. And it was just a sense of humanity.
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So I think if we start framing things that the United States gets to do lie and go to Iraq with impunity, therefore Israel gets to do this, the way I see it, when we see kids trying to stand up for when they see what are war crimes and what is really inhumane, And then we're criticizing them for exercising that speech. I just think it's a really dangerous practice.
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And I think there's a complete difference from criticizing the Israeli government, and then equating that criticism with anti-Semitism. And I think this is what Trump is doing, and you spoke to that a bit. He's exploiting that, and he doesn't give a shit about Israel. He wants to develop the whole thing.
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I mean, you know, he's the biggest narcissist on the planet, but it's something that we could talk about forever, and it's a very complicated issue.
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All of these things are worthy of criticism. All of these things are worthy of open debate and discourse and critical thinking on, are these things helping people or harming people? Furthermore... A lot of these kids that are evangelicals, they decide to get saved around like the age 8 or 10. Right. I think I was 8 or 9. Yeah, that's right. That's nuts. That's totally nuts that some kid is told.
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I would argue that the MAGA movement is very similar to what Hamas wants to do. Women in our state are not able to receive life-saving abortion care and we are losing rights. They are trying to make this a Christian nationalist state in Oklahoma. It is the breeding grounds for what would be the American Taliban.
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And because I live in this state and the leaders who represent me, does that mean I'm worthy of death because I'm a woman?
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And so I think it's a really difficult argument to make that there are tons of Palestinians and Saudi Arabians and people all over the Middle East who are free thinkers, who are just have fallen prey to this fucked up autocratic, theocratic government that they live under, but it doesn't mean
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that they are worthy of death, nor can we look at, well, America did this in the past, therefore we need to do this. And quite frankly, Benjamin Netanyahu seems to be really, really right-wing, kind of Dick Cheney-esque war hawk. So it seems like-
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We have to kind of speak out against all of it because I don't think these Palestinians are worthy of death because in the elections that they had were a long, long time ago rigged, which ours are probably going to end up being rigged by Starlink and Musk moving forward. And so I just think it's kind of a dangerous way that sometimes this gets framed where we're in these kind of.
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absolutes and what about ism when the fact of the matter is what what's happened over there is horrific what happened on october 7th is horrific and i think both sides contribute to more hatred and our involvement exacerbates all of it and i think these young kids on college campuses being anti-war is very appropriate
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I'm the 30% in Oklahoma. We're 70% Christian Dallapan here. I'm 30%. That 30% is important.
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I don't think it's fair to compare MAGA... Have you ever lived in an evangelical culture?
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I think it heads that way. I think that there is an active movement when you read into Project 2025, and I've lived around this evangelical culture. There are private schools here in Oklahoma that people pay, parents pay extra money, and they sign a document that says they believe one of the greatest sins is
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marriage that isn't between a man and a woman that's their singular mission of this school is in to indoctrinate homophobia and this is a do you think they would do you think they would kill those people though this is we're getting a bit far afield here let me put it this way let's agree
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If you don't do this, you're going to go to hell. And so at eight to 10 years old, you're going down and getting saved. And I'll never forget it. I remember when I was in junior high school and, you know, I wasn't raised with religion. And these girls on my cheerleading squad were like, you know, Jenny, when were you saved? Jenny, when did you get saved? I'm like, safe from what?
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I had no idea what they were talking about. They were like, safe from what? You know, have you not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior? And they were so passionate about it. And I remember just thinking, well, no, am I supposed to? And they're like, well, yes, you're going to go to hell. Like, you've got to go. I mean, we've got to take you tonight.
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I totally agree with you. I think so many of these CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are so short-sighted and they're playing such a short game when the American economy has been so beneficial to them, in many cases to Walmart shareholders, subsidize the fact that they don't pay their employees enough. The American taxpayer helps subsidize if somebody works full-time at Walmart on minimum wage,
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I mean, we've got to take you to the church tonight and get you saved. Of course, I go home and ask my mother and she's like, oh, for fuck's sake. And I think she said, oh, Jennifer, for God's sakes, that's ridiculous.
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The American taxpayer is covering the SNAP or the food stamps or whatever else so that the wealth always trickles up. And the biggest myth that white country club Republicans in cities like ours in Oklahoma City, a city of a million people, the biggest myth that Republicans have successfully perpetrated on upper middle class to upper class white folks in cities like mine is that
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Republicans are great businessmen, that they are so good at business, that Republican economies are so beneficial and that trickle down economics is great because I'll have girlfriends or acquaintances of mine where I'm like, I just don't know how you can vote for him. I mean, he's You know, he's such a misogynist and he's such a piece of shit. He's mentally unstable.
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And they always say, well, you know, I'm just fiscally conservative. It just really helps my pocketbook. And that whole notion that Republicans are just so good at business has been so well executed on the electorate. It is a myth that people around here buy hook, line and sinker, despite the fact if you looked at what George W. Bush did, disaster, deregulate, you know, complete meltdown.
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We do corporate welfare to bring us out of it. Trump 1.0, same thing. And now this is just beyond. I mean, it's just wow.
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Angie and I kind of feel like it's a manifesto. Yeah. Y'all, our listener, know how nutty we are. My son read it, my oldest son, and he quite enjoyed it. Really? He thought it was fantastic. And so I think our listener would really like the book. Pumps and I have been friends for like 20, over 20 plus years. And so it goes way back.
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I just didn't know if that was something that... I knew what hell was metaphorically in the same way that I knew what heaven was. But it wasn't something that I believed to be as fact. It was something more abstract. Right. You know, I don't know that I was probably 12 when this happened. I don't know that I had big, deep thoughts on existentialism at the time.
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And I just want to clarify, the myth that they've been so successful at is that Republican policies are good for business. And I think you might have interpreted that and I wasn't clear that Republicans, individual Republicans were good at business, but I meant the policies. But now we like to play a game with our guests, Scott, and it's called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God.
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Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had It or Hit It, people who don't drink.
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I totally agree with you. We have Gen Z kids. So my youngest son is graduating right now. I have been to, I'm not kidding, 75 different events. It is the most celebrated generation. We've had all of these banquets, all of these awards ceremonies. It is the biggest circle jerk of made-up bullshit I've ever attended. And part of it is, you know, the parents are helicoptering in, but...
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Part of, I think, the situation is, because I'll get in this mom group meeting, it's like, make sure your son is wearing business casual to this banquet. And I think, no, it would be better for Roman, that's the name of my youngest son, for him to show up in shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops. and walk in and face the, oh shit, I didn't check to see what I was supposed to wear.
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I knew it was like devil and I had seen, you know, in movies and in books about the devil and a pitchfork and whatnot. What was so problematic about then my friendship with these people is they became more and more radicalized as they got older. And I live in suburban Oklahoma City, Bible thump dump truck, right? And I have these atheist friends. liberal parents.
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And face that moment instead of mom always throwing herself in front of the bus that maybe their child isn't dressed okay. And I think parents are exacerbating a lot of this, we say in the South, we call them titty babies. This titty baby mentality that, because I'm just, I'm living in it right now and I just think, let your kids make mistakes. That's where all the growth is.
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So I am like the skunk at the garden party. I felt like such an outsider, right? So we'd have these slumber parties and they would start talking to me about, well, you know what happens? You go down to hell and then all of these demons torture you and then they burn your skin off and then it grows back and it goes on and on over and over and over again. They started telling me all of this stuff.
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I completely, I completely agree with you. We talk about this all of the time and somebody who's forced into all of these group me's, you know, for my 18 year old son. And I see the, the parenting, the helicopter psychotic parenting. I just think this is not good. This is not good for these kids. Um, okay. Last one, had it or hid it identity politics.
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I'm sorry, the delivery on that was so good. Here's what I want to argue. I would argue that the reason Trump won is because I'm sure you've probably seen that bubble graph at how large the right-wing media movement is. It's massive. It is not even comparable. I mean, we can't even remotely compete with the volume that they put out.
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Well, by the age of 12 or 13, I had enough brain development to critically think that, you know, that doesn't sound right. I hadn't been sold that bill of goods right in the jump. And so when Christianity was described to me, it had about the same level of veracity absorption for me that probably when you learned about Greek mythology. A hundred percent. I was just kind of like, now what?
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What pisses me off about the Democrats is this, is it seems to always be this binary choice. like where you are, identity politics has fucked us. Where at the tail end of the political campaign, the Republicans were the one talking about gender ideology. In my state, we have this whacked out governor, whacked out school superintendent.
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They talk about gender politics all the time because it's a great thing to feed the rubes. They don't get it. They don't understand it. They believe the litter box shit, right?
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And so I wish the Democrats would make a nuanced argument, but not super difficult argument to make that, you know what, Sherry, you know, that that boy down the street, that's Betty Sue's grandson, that's kind of light in the loafers. We're going to support him, too. You might not get it, but you know, that girl at church, she's got that tomboy granddaughter and we have to support them, too.
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I hope that we don't abandon anybody. The 74 percent on the Democratic side. That's bullshit. That pisses me off. I do think that we have people in our party that can take a populist economic message without leaving anybody behind. But I think this swing back that some people within the Democratic Party feel to then just demean identity politics, it's terrible.
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We have friends here that have a trans child Raising a trans child in this fucking MAGA hellscape is brutal. It is just brutal for these people. It's brutal for these trans kids. And so I hope that we leave no one behind and we figure out a smart way to integrate
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identity politics with solutions for all Americans because the fact of the matter is people with these identities are born to evangelicals. They're born to MAGA people. There's a, you know, have you ever been to a country and Western bar and you seen those men all tighten up in those Wranglers with the big belt buckle? I mean, it looks kind of gay.
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I mean, I've seen a lot of gay cowboys around here. So I hope that we don't abandon anyone because the fact is that a lot of these people need these services too. And I think the Democrats need to figure out a message to encompass that and leave no one behind, because freedom is for everybody, and these programs are for everybody.
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You know, like, wait a minute, hold up. 5,000 years ago was Adam and Eve and then what? It was a talking snake. I mean, it just didn't pass the sniff test, right? Which is hard to say in American culture to start questioning these things because a large percentage of the population has been indoctrinated to think by what I just said. What?
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Professor Galloway, this has been very interesting. I'm so happy to have you on the podcast because I follow you and I listen to all of... Uh-oh, Pumps is coughing up a lung, speaking of Appalachia. But I really appreciate you coming out. It's a really interesting conversation. I love everything that you're doing.
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I think you offer a great platform for males in the face of all of this other stuff. And all of your videos are very thought provoking. They make me think. And I think it's important that we try to build. I'm dead serious about this. A smartest fear. All of this stupidity is being celebrated online. And I want you to start it. You start it.
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Thank you. Thank you. OK, he's very I mean, just he's a very smart person. Super smart. I don't agree 100 percent with all of his stuff. But what I like about it is if you don't, you have this very interesting conversation where people have, you know, varying degrees of nuance within the under the umbrella of democratic principles.
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Yeah, and I think what he said about – I think what he said, I have to think about, sometimes I have to think about things, but what he said about that he believes in affirmative action, but it needs to be based on money, you know, that makes sense. But also, I do think the optics for young black people to see...
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people of their skin color in positions of power doing certain jobs is also important and so i mean i don't i don't know what the right or wrong answer to that is but i agree with him you know trevor noah's kids obviously trevor noah's made a shit ton of money they don't need any sort of assistance paying for college or what have you but i think these are all interesting things to discuss an interesting conversation to have the problem is
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you know, fast forward five, six years from now, can we still have these conversations? Because this is what you do in a democracy where you have the First Amendment, you have free speech, you have intellectual conversations, and you talk about ideas. And the Trump administration wants to be the thought police. You know, I love that.
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We have to really search this stuff about Steve Bannon wants Trump to sue him. Did you know that?
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You mean 5,000 years ago, Adam and Eve, and there was a talking snake, but God did this because he loves you? Now what? And then he sent his son on a suicide mission? A lot of people hearing this right now, if they were indoctrinated in Christianity, would think that I'm being blasphemous and that I'm persecuting Christianity.
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I love it. Yeah, okay, all right. That's all we have for today. Remember this. Life is a lazy season of shit sandwiches written by Pumps and me, a.k.a. our manifesto. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
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Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
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But to the contrary, I'm just using critical thinking skills so that if there was another planet somewhere – And we were able to go there. And we told them about all of these different religions. Christianity sounds every bit as insane as all of the others, if you describe them. The only thing that makes Christianity insane
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relevant right now are two things geography where you live you live in the united states and the era you know it's not that it's oh my god this is the only answer two thousand years from now there's going to be some other big movement or thing just like two thousand years ago it wasn't this and i just think that we need to have honest conversations about is this helpful.
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I think I do know some people that are Christian light. You know, there may be like a Methodist or an Episcopalian. They don't take the Bible literally. But there's something about the ritual of praying and thinking that there is some sort of higher force out there that's comforting to them. I don't take issue with that.
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I take issue with the weaponization and emotional and spiritual black male from MAGA. to the general public. Oh, and then Trump, back to him, on the second floor of the, he's got a tongue talker who sells prayers for $1,000.
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ready one two three patriots gay triets they triets black triets welcome to america's top dei podcast before we get into our petty grievances we have a book that we wrote co-authored together and it's called life is a lazy susan of sandwiches and as you can see here it says jennifer welch and angie sullivan i couldn't do that reverse with the camera to see that but nonetheless
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So she does all that shit. And then here's just one final before I get on to my grievance. Sometimes when we talk about this in the comment section, people that I describe, the Christian-like people will say they are not real Christians.
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And here's where we have to have an honest conversation about that, because I'm accused as an American that was born in Dallas, Texas, by the right of not being a real American. I actually am, in fact, a real American. And so these people are actually real Christians. They're just not your version of real Christians. And so when everybody... All of these ideas come out of the same book.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
It's something that needs to be cleaned up within the faith, just like we're trying to, with our other podcast, clean up and fight the fascism that's happened. And so calling them not real Christians or fake Christians or whatever isn't helpful. I think it's more honest to say there is a lot of contradiction and a lot of falsehoods in the Bible.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And you have sects that take it way too far and are completely radicalized. And it's something within the faith that we need to deal with. But to say, to dismiss them outright doesn't fix the problem. Because if you put them up to true sermon and polygraph, they're going to say they're Christians and they're going to pass with flying colors.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And I just, I don't know if it's an exact thing that I can say, but it's a story I'm going to tell you. So I'm at this tennis banquet because we all know I've been to probably 674 senior events, right? Just in the last 30 days. Yeah. Just in the month of May, 2025. Okay.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
So I'm at this tennis event and I'm sitting with these parents in this restaurant and the boys are at the tennis table and I'm with the parents. And they were asking me about my older son. I was like, oh my God, yeah, he just graduated from Syracuse. He had a wonderful experience up there. The graduation ceremony was actually lovely. I wasn't looking forward to it. I enjoyed it very much.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And he was like, one of the dads goes, did you, did he like it up there? And I go, yeah, very much so. And I thought he said, what about the cult? I said, oh man, I didn't see much of the cult up there. And he goes, what are you saying? And I said, you asked about the cult, MAGA? He goes, no. What about the cold? The weather.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And it's just so I've had it with that, like the impact of Trump and this reality television show presidency that like they say cold and I mishear it. And I'm like the cold. I didn't see that much of it up there. Yeah.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
So this we just teed up for like the Daily Wire to make a reel about Trump derangement syndrome. They would use this as anecdotal evidence. But I think the fact of the matter with Trump derangement syndrome is that it is projection. It is the biggest form of projection that they use because Trump by design is ubiquitous. And he has cameras in front of him all of the time by design.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
It's a part of the propaganda that lends itself to his ultimate authoritarian play. And so I just, you know, made an ass of myself. But also I was glad in case there were any... MAGA at the table, they knew immediately. I knew the guy that was asking me that. I knew he was a liberal because we've talked about it all the time at the tennis matches. It's like, do you see what Trump did today?
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I mean, Jacob, that is so perfect. It's interesting that you threw in closeted lesbian because right before we sat down here to film Chumps. Now it's everywhere. New nickname alert. Sound the sirens. Do not. Do not. Chumps and I were having lunch, and she said, so, Whitney, she really said she thought she was asexual before she came out.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And I go, yeah, not only that, but Austin Show thought the same thing before he came out as a gay man. She was like, hmm. We just kind of left it at that.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I mean, these are great. I mean, great things are happening for us.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Kylie, you were at that show with us. Yeah. I'm the same as pumps. I have so much codependency that if someone's looking at me, like I will crack up just to make them feel better because I feel so uncomfortable. Yeah, it's so uncomfortable.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Right. As long as they tell you you're an athlete, it's fine. The best thing my mom ever did for me was tell me I was a bad singer when I was young because I wanted to do vocal lessons. I thought I was good. And she said, sweetie, what about the guitar? And I got the hint and I've known the rest of my life.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
That's what I do day to day. So I've got two reviews for you. Okay. One of them is a one star. Okay. And it's titled Accurate. And they write... Accurate definition of disgusting people. Really nasty mouthed couple of women, period. A tub of Vaseline beating off. Wow.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Who's next? Okay. Five stars titled The Best 40 Minutes of My Day. And Am Hutto writes, Hello, Jessica, Meat Curtains, and Kathy. This podcast is irreverent and irresistible. I literally laugh out loud during every episode. I've had it with so many things, but especially men who disrespect and don't get intelligent, funny and self-respecting women with minds of their own.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
We'll start with this five-star review titled Your New Best Friend from Maddie. And she says, to my favorite liberal mamas, as a fellow gay, I must say how much I love and appreciate our- Wait, hold up.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
I think it would mean I could get laid. She says, you can't hear my jokes or cackling, but I'll forever enjoy hearing yours. Thank you for your unwavering support. I have a petty grievance for you. I am so bewildered by people having an extremely dogmatic political opinion. And the only research they've accomplished is Googling our Lord and Savior Trump bumper stickers. I've had it.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
We can have a discussion, but educate yourself before attacking me, Rachel.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
We do. We have voice memos today and we're going to kick it off. And I just want to say, I love this kid. His name is Steven.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Okay, up next we've got Jacob M. Hello to the cast and crew of the I've Had It podcast.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
What do you think a high value alpha male is versus just an alpha male? I don't know. That's a great question.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Oh, that's probably right. That's probably right. Okay. The next one is Trey. He says, a good time is always welcome. So come with it. Got boats and horses. You tell me which one you want to ride. No fat bitches allowed.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, next. Jack says, about me, six foot four inches tall, wild barefoot. My tongue flaps faster than a hummingbird's wings. My fingers are dexterous from years of guitar playing. Not looking for a hookup, just looking for my size queen who'd enjoy being stretched out daily by my six inch girth. Eggplant emoji.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
The perky little titties could disqualify you. Yeah, that totally takes it out of my mind. Because of the dragon situation.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Six foot floor drops to the floor. There you go. All right, next up we have Chris. He has an American flag and then he says, you degenerates make me appreciate my girlfriend more. I'm not going to message your Instagram. Swipe left if you can't parallel park. Swipe left if you've ever had an abortion.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
That's crazy. I mean, that's just that is way too much. I just can't. There's a neediness to late stage capitalism that is blooming right now that drives me absolutely crazy. They're just so needy. Want our information. Can you join our club? Can you join our newsletter? And it's just like, I don't want to be this close to you. What I'm trying to do is limit my relationships.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay. Next up. Okay, here's a new profile. I am a Christian and I'm against gay marriage. If you have a problem with me texting you a lot, then don't waste your time because I know I won't. And think about this. If I'm texting you a lot, it's because you didn't answer the first time when you should have instead of boasting the person. And if you block that person over it, then it's your loss.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
If you really care about someone, you won't care how much they call you and it does not make them clingy i will call you a lot maybe they just maybe they've just been at work and i just want to point out his height's 4 foot 11 inches this cannot be real It can't be real. Angela, Don, I'm afraid it's real. And I like how we started off with, I am against gay marriage. I'm against gay marriage.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
No. Okay, Matt. Looking for someone who dislikes brunch as much as I do. $13 for eggs? No thanks. He makes a list of pros about himself. The first pro is six foot two inches, sommelier, lives alone, grilled cheese king, owner of Scottish fold oyster, better looking in person, look a lot like your new boyfriend, skilled crock pot chef, and above par, canalinga skills.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I think that's got a lot of potential. That does have a lot of potential. I think he sounds like a total catch. I mean, he, is the oyster thing a dog? I have no idea.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, we have an anonymous, Kylie's blacked out his name, looking for fun, open to more. i have two border collies that never get tired most of you are way too ugly to be making demands free advice ladies stop eating vegetable oils and you can be as thin i.e healthy as you want calling yourself vaccinated or boosted is a supreme display of ignorance single moms no thanks
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
boy, I can't believe this guy hasn't found somebody already. He sounds like a charmer. I love it when people like they make the vaccination issue their entire identity in their dating profile.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, Chris is 40 years old, and he just made a red flag list. And so I'm going to read to you what his red flags are. Cottage cheese ass. Bipolar disorders. No head meds is a must. Pet moms. Libby's or rainbow sympathizers. Kool-Aid colored hair. Beached whales.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
More than two piercings, mustache, pronouns, fake accounts, cam girls and only fans, pregos, tats, feminists, people that have PhDs, daddy issues, must know body counts matter, single moms, pro-choice, technical virgins, no jibby jabbers, hashtag me too, BLM and Antifa. Another red flag of his are B-cups or under. And then also anybody that's anti-guns.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I want to have limited relationships. And you're wanting to have an exclusive relationship. And I don't want any part of it. It's so annoying.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I think the one thing we've learned in Trump's America after we all watched January 6th is this is 1000% real. Oh, scary. So is that a yes? No. 100% yes. Okay. All right. Next up. All right. Here's a guy that's six foot six inches. We know you like that. Yeah. These are his words, not mine. Done three years of college, full-time employed with benefits, zero debt, three cars.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Hobbies include high fashion, cars, computer, anime, gaming, camping, etc., no hookups no gold diggers looking for someone with similar qualities as myself looking for something serious but not in a rush swipe left if you can't hold a conversation single moms swipe left if you were a catch he wouldn't have left you in the kids oh my gosh these people are so emboldened to be dicks
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Angela Dawn matched with Shane. I will not date you if you wear masks. If you've had a COVID vaccine, I prefer women who are not brainwashed or genetically modified. If you meet the criteria, then let's talk. And he spells then T-H-A-N.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Inbox me to learn about how our government is funding the production of bioweapons and brainwashing people into thinking that masks and injections are a replacement for actually living healthy.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Chris, I'm a single father of three and another one on the way. they are my world if you don't have what it takes to help me raise my kids then move aside and let a real woman step up must have your own car preferably a minivan must be able to cook clean and be submissive no taller than five foot five inches must be fit have your own source of income and no kids of your own How about that?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He's got three kids and one on the way and prefers that you have a minivan. Yeah, and he's searching for a maid, not a date. If you can't raise my kids, step aside and let a real woman step in.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
That's so good. I love how it's like, it's like a, like a threat. Like it's manipulative. Like you're not a real woman. Then you just step aside. Step aside for the real women that want to raise my kids and drive a minivan. Okay. Next up. All right. We got Micah. He says, I like my women the way I like my toaster turned on and in the hot tub with me.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with... the crusty unattractive white guy that reads to convicted felon Trump at his executive orders. I've just had it. He's like, so this executive order is you know, blah, blah, blah, some stupid, horrible, terrible idea. And Trump acts like it's the first time he's ever heard it. He's like, oh, that sounds pretty important.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Can you imagine yourself living in your own home? Swipe right if you want a better life. You return your shopping cart to the cart corral. You're kind to cats, dogs, children, and older folks. You're childless, but dream of motherhood. You can fit into a size zero to six dress size. You enjoy solitude, but loneliness blows. Gemini Rabbit. Yes, no? I'm going to pass. Pass, okay.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
All right, next one. This is Mike. He says, uh-uh. Have you ever wanted to date a homeless guy? Here's your chance. I'm able to work remotely and have decided to sell my house and embrace the nomad lifestyle. I figured if Elon can do it, so can I. Hotel and Airbnb bop with me. Willing to stay local if we click and I can take you with me. I think it's amazing that these people like
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
they don't understand the problem is they don't have billions of dollars.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, I like that. You want the cop to handcuff you and stuff. That was great. I think that's much more normal. I know. I just wanted to remind everybody. All right, go ahead.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
You think this is why they're single? Listener, February is the month of love, and there's nothing that Pumps and I love more than treating ourselves to comfortable bras. Seriously, life is just way too short to wear a bad bra. And luckily, today's episode is brought to you by Hunting Love, the brand that's completely revolutionized the wireless bra.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Oh, I love that. The star of our show and her bra enhancement. That's great. And listener, Honey Love isn't just about bras. They've got shapewear, tanks, leggings that are just as comfortable and supportive. Honey Love's best-selling superpower short is a must-have. Listener, treat yourself to the most comfortable bra on earth and save 20% off site-wide at honeylove.com slash had it.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Use our exclusive link to get 20% off at honeylove.com slash had it. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Treat yourself to Honey Love because you deserve it. Hey ladies, did you know that one of the most common complaints from women about their sexual health is a frustratingly low libido?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Our sex drives can decline, but it's also treatable. Addi or flibanserin is FDA approved and has been clinically proven to increase sexual desire in certain premenopausal women who are bothered by a low libido. So if you feel like you've lost your desire and you want to get it back, Stop falling for the snake oils and ask your doctor today about Addi. Go to Addi.com. That's A-D-D-Y-I.com.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And he signs it. And, you know, some chicken shit, something like we're changing the name of, you know, the Gulf of Mexico, something that matters zero to anybody that has any depth or intelligence. And it's like, you know, orgasm city for all the MAGA nuts. And I've just had it with that guy. I think he has a terrible job.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Ask your doctor about Addie today. That's addyi.com. pumps, let's face it. There's a lot happening these days and I am so stressed out. It's incredibly difficult for me to sleep and stay asleep. But now I've discovered Calm and it can help restore your sense of balance amidst outside chaos.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Calm is the number one app for sleep and meditation, giving you the power to calm your mind and change your life.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I particularly like their grounding exercises. Listener, if you're feeling overwhelmed, these short guided sessions use sensation, movement and breath work to help you relax and reset. Stress less, sleep more and live better with Calm. For listeners of our show, Calm is offering an exclusive offer of 40% off a Calm premium subscription. at calm.com slash had it.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Go to calm.com slash had it for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library. That's calm.com slash had it. Okay, next up. All right, here's Harold. He says about me, how do I describe myself? Three words. Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. Three words? Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. Those are seven words. Yeah. What about the jackhammer?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, true. So both. Yeah. All right, next. Joshua, dad of two, separating, moving forward with my life. Honestly, just going to be myself. My wife of eight years blindsided me with, I don't love you anymore after we have two children together. And I have been faithful the entire time and never even thought about cheating on...
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
cheating or with another or being with another woman but the level of disrespect showed to me now has opened my eyes and i'm ready to see who needs a good man hit me up i'll never cheat we're separated so it's fair game just in need of someone to start over with someone genuine he's got his little feelings hurt isn't he
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Tom, Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Looking for new friends who want to go hiking, get drinks, and do other fun stuff. I'm a journalist who writes about technology and culture. Nothing super red flag there. Do you think if we put him in a police officer uniform, instead of him being a journalist, you could hit it?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I'm disappointed that Dosh hasn't cut his job because I think it's unnecessary. And if we have a president that has to have everything read to him and translated to him,
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, next up, Jeremy. Please know the difference between their, T-H-E-R-E, their, T-H-E-I-R, their, T-H-E-Y-R-E, your, your, your, two and two. Please don't have all your pictures with you using the middle finger, duck faces, or some form of a gang sign. I understand you're representing your set, but it's not attractive. Furthermore, please stop with wanting someone to join your OnlyFans.com.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Some of us here are actually decent people and probably already getting it free. Sorry, I had to bring that up.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Aged and retired porn star looking for a nice butt to snort crushed blood pressure medication off of. Kind of like coke in the 90s. Back in the early 90s, I was called a closer. I specialized in climax shots. Kind of like a stuntman, but different. Still signing autographs for fans that recognize my junk at nudist resorts, hot springs and such. Just don't ask where I carry the pen.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I mean, I know that we are screwed beyond all measure, but the fact that he has to have people kind of guide him like a host all the time, like an MC to his presidency tells me that he's not all there mentally because they have to keep him on schedule and have somebody kind of babysit and lead every single thing. And I think it's pathetic. I think it's weak and I've had it.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
You got to go out with this guy. You got to let him snort blood pressure medication off your ass.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He specialized in climax shots, kind of like a stuntman. He was a closer. I think in Trump's America, Pumps Dates' retired porn star story arc is something that could really help us pass some time.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I would imagine, considering you're such a size queen, he probably has a very large penis. You'd almost have to think he does, wouldn't you? I mean, you would think so if he specialized in the money shots. Right. So I don't think they're trotting out teeny weenies for the money shot. No, I wouldn't think so.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Haven't we? Or did I make that up? I think we had Kylie get on Pornhub and she found it. Yeah. Okay, next. Jonathan, looking for my lovely ever after must be blonde or brunette, be fit and toned, go to the gym more than four times weekly, but no more than five foot 11 inch and no less than five foot four in height. Be available at all times. Give good head. Be able to cook and clean.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Devote as much as your time to me as possible. Have a steady income, more than $70,000 annually. Have own apartment that I can crash at occasionally. If you fit these criteria, swipe right. If not, settle for it. I will not settle for anything less. Also not interested in BBWs and single moms. What's a BBW?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah. What about give, get ahead? And he just puts it right out there.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
you know that was the only thing about it that i was like okay yeah everything else was just awful okay next up all right this person's bio says i'm looking for a woman with conservative values pro-life 2a and liberal please be five foot two to five foot six 105 pounds to 115 pounds 32B to 32C, size 12 to 16 waist and size 6 to 7 feet. Be fun, but down to earth.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Be manicured, pedicured, and keep yourself fairly clean. Your attire should be 80% casual, 20% formal. Be into wearing costumes in bed. Be trustworthy, honest, and also into movies, road trips, and family stuff. pg stuff with others rated r triple x with me you must also have or love dogs and no kids 18 to 20 18 to 26 year olds. Okay.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, next up. What I'm looking for in my woman. This man just makes a punch list. Long hair, nice feet with straight toes. Big tits, kind. Always responds to my messages fast.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
does not get mad if I take too long to reply, can cook good food, has own house, has nice car, not vain, good credit score, lets me make the decisions, says she loves me every day, good at cleaning, has a good job, likes anal, is voting for Biden, let me try new sex things, respects men, is not fat, is a good dancer, is bilingual, supports LGBTQ+,
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
So Pumps, what I've learned today is this. Angela Dawn, if you just get really like, you feel crazed and unhinged in Trump's America, Angela Dawn, you could just dive into that personality, cut bangs, like you've always wanted to. and just go live your best life. I mean, I think that you've got all these amazing hits on social media. I mean, on these dating sites. Here's what I've learned today.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I just, I just want, I want to know, Kylie, are there dating sites for liberals?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I wonder if they think we're normal. You kind of want to get Angela Dawn on there? Let's just do a small segment, not a whole episode. Just a small, yeah, I'm just curious. Here's the deal. I think dating sites in general have a larger percentage of freak flags in them than the general population.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Never, ever, ever. Let me ask you one more question. Okay. What if there was a dating site for men in uniform, like firemen, policemen? I think you mentioned the Marines earlier that you were rather turned on by the Marine Corps. I mean, I don't care though. Air Force, you're turned on by the Air Force, Army, Navy? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I like all this.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I mean, I think Kylie's just plucked a high concentration of them. But I think in Trump's America, we're all abundantly aware. pumps. And I know you like to pretend like it's not out there, but we're abundantly aware that this quote unquote alpha male movement is a big problem. It's a huge, huge problem. All right. Well, thank you for joining us today.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Next week, we'll be back together in studio and listen to our other podcast, IHIP News. Check us out on Substack, join our Patreon, buy some merch, pre-order our book, Pumps Tell Them.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
The first he's ever hearing of it is when they roll out that dork, crusty-ass white guy who thinks, oh, I've made it. You know, I'm reading to this dipshit and I get my time to shine. You know, I mean, he's going to be the biggest one-hit wonder on the planet. But it's, of course, he doesn't read them. Of course, he doesn't care about any of this.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He just wants to go play golf and avoid prison time. Meanwhile, you know, the real... dangerous blowhards are setting up a shadow government, in my opinion. So uplifting. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. And Kylie is with us today. Kylie. Hi. Hi. Hi. What's going on on the World Wide Web?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. All right. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I think it's just hilarious when... you're so impacted by something like when i'm watching tv or listening to a pod if i don't like it i i just leave that and go to something that i find more palatable the attention and the time and the care to go make that comment is what just tickles me so much um all right listener here's what we're going to do today because we all feel overwhelmed and uh
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
like cinder blocks are sitting on our shoulders. It's a tough time to be an American and watch the horror show. So today we are going to razzle dazzle you with a fabulous episode where all we are going to do is completely belly laugh. And the subject of today's episode is our illustrious producers. Kylie and Seth have been very busy on the dating apps and they made a Yassified pumps
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
and they've been marketing her on the dating apps i'm like there she is back app kylie gave her the bang kylie gave her the bangs that she's wanted to get when she's 60 and completely yasified her and so look at how yasified she is and so a lot of the apps her name is angela dawn and this is angela dawn's second um voyage into the dating apps. We did another episode about this several months ago.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And Kylie and Seth have great fun with it. And I think she was on Christian Mingle just briefly, but then they think that she's a catfisher. So let's go into Angela Dawn's Christian Mingle profile. Do I have everything up to speed, Kylie? Yep, that's it. Here's her prompts. Uh-uh. Her prompts, why does Jesus matter to you in your own words?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And Angela Dawn responds, when I have faltered, Jesus was there for me, unlike my ex-husband. I like that. That's a good one. What are your hobbies, activities, or interests? And our Angela Dawn responds, I love to cuddle my dog. I'm a simple woman who loves Jesus, looking for a man to lead me into the last, and the last is underlined, chapter of my life. This is so good.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
What part of the Bible has recently inspired you? And our Angela Dawn responds... I have been rereading the first few pages of Genesis for the last few years. I'm able to get much further, but still try.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay. All right. We have Eugene and he says, I've been a man in God since I was 29 and our Lord has saved my life many times. I have approximately 3 million miles accident free and I enjoy nature, fishing, traveling, camping, and cooking. He's charismatic and he attends church every week. He has 3 million miles accident free because of Jesus.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Pass, okay. The next one you matched with on Christian Mingle says, I'm the old fashioned type, still believe in opening a car door and help seating a lady. I treat a lady as she should be treated. And I do not like to argue. Everything can be settled by a civil conversation. I've been in law enforcement for 45 years and I retired three years ago. I wrote a book about two years ago.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Let me ask you some follow-up questions. Do you want to have sex with them in their uniform?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Angela Dawn, I like it. This is the type of content we need in Trump's America. Also, listeners, if there are any firefighters, military, or law enforcement that would like to date Angela Dawn, please email or text Kylie. Okay, next. Corey, I live a quiet and drama-free life. I enjoy reading, walking, and riding my e-scooter.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I'm not a foodie person, but like the occasional pizza, salami, and cold tomato slices. Also like thrifting and getting savings on food, et cetera.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Oh God, these are her Tinder matches. Okay, she matched with Jesse and he says, hi there, my name is Jesse. I'm a six foot one inch and weight 215 pounds. I'm a high value alpha male that is very driven, competitive, successful, and productive. I'm well-traveled, high emotional IQ, extremely fit and very passionate about life.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful, fun, feminine, cooperative, agreeable, inspirational, beautiful, and has a family first mentality. Sharing similar interests and values are important. No masks, no games, no cats, no libs, no smoking slash drugs, and no bad attitudes. I think you sound like the woman of his dreams.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And, you know, we've had people say that to us in shows, like live people.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
But everybody knows you're a terrible winner, so that doesn't surprise anybody. That's true.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I'm just looking over like, you were in such a hurry and look who's passing you. And he goes... Put down your phone, you fucking bitch.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
How would you tell him? Here's what I would do. I would start giving the dog apple slices to improve the breath. Then I would start like taking the dog to be groomed. and trying to like fluff it up from the outside. Because for two- You would invest in the dog. I would invest in the dog because for two reasons.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Number one, your partner, which I love the way he described, we love each other, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And then he describes his dog like the queen of England. Yeah. But I would like take and get it groomed.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I would look – there's something you can buy or do or tease or something to increase the breadth. So you get full credit that he's investing in my dog. He's trying with my dog. So then you can soften it later if you have to tell him, I just don't like your dog. Because he's going to see all the effort –
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
that you put into his dog, even though it's for selfish reasons, you don't have to tell everything, you know? That's how I would handle it. That's really good, Pumps.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
No, I completely agree with that. But I don't think the expectation is that you have to have the same relationship. I think the expectation is we all live in harmony, blah, blah. So I think you just have to kind of... You just got to maneuver it, skirt it as best you can. Because I think if you say... I don't like your dog. I think that hurt feelings. Yeah.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
To be fair, I was just like, the cat's old. She has a lot of health problems. Pumps wants me to kill my cat. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibilities. Pumps wants me to kill the cat. If you euthanized her, it'd probably be a gift to everyone. Even her. That was just my point. I didn't say kill her.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Yeah, I was just suggesting massage the vet until she tells you it's time.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
romantic not that you're a romantic or anything but I don't know I mean share my location with you not with him I was like why would I give I was like even I can pick up on that might not be the smartest but I share my location with us so we make sure that DJ doesn't kidnap you right and dismember you into multiple parts arms legs head gone yeah Jeffrey Dahmer you and then eat you what if he threw my phone away and he threw me in the van and he threw my phone in Central Park maybe I can put a chip in your ear
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Maybe I can microchip you before you start dating. Someone told me there's a, like you can put like an air tag type situation in a dog. So not only are they microchipped.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I think he sounds funny and great and darling. Okay. But we all know that I'm not a great dater. It's true. I mean, it's true. You have not been a great dater. My history is bad. So bad. It's easier to have no history than more history. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Two ass pellets at the same time. Two pellets crammed up your ass at the same time.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
There are so many people that need to be shamed into not answering these questions because you can either figure them out, you don't need to know, or we're not there yet. And it's like just don't – I think some people just love the spotlight. Yeah.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
There's a warrant out for your arrest unless you pull that. Okay, but here's the deal. One thing you didn't ask for is the country of origin because we all know. You already know where. Only America would do that. Europeans would say, shut the fuck up. That is a stupid question.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Somebody that, his friend is what I, his friend outside of work started fucking one of his weird coworkers. Now the friend, who he thought was his friend, is sharing all his personal business. With the other mailman? With the other coworker. And now the coworker is spreading all his personal business, which that would piss me off. And fuck you, Slava and Peter.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I mean, that was the best part of the whole thing. Fuck you, Slava and Peter. So, oh my God. Yeah, this is a real quandary.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I think the friend is the one at fault here. The friend is a bad friend. Yeah. And obviously let the sex thing take her out of her friendship role because now she's blabbing to the coworker who he says is weird, which means he probably is.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
No, I don't either. I think that if Kamala Harris had won, none of this would have ever happened.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I just don't think you can underestimate how bad things are going to get in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
There's just no reason to like take up half your day at a motivational speech and Because a lot of times I feel like the speaker, it's kind of like the life coach people. It's a racket. You know, it's like if somebody's saying they're a life coach, do I really want them to tell me what to do with my life?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Maybe you're the problem. Right. I would rather have somebody say to me, Here's what your problem is. You are blah, blah, blah, blah. That to me is more useful than some blanket, cliche-ridden motivational speech where it's kind of like a horoscope where you have to kind of apply it to your life to make it make sense because it's so broad.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Okay. What I've had it with is driving. When you're driving and an ambulance or some type of emergency vehicle is driving and they have their lights on, people do not move to the right and slow down. This just happened to me. I was sitting there and this ambulance comes by and everybody just keeps moving. They keep going through the lights. I could not... Believe it.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You know? Right. Yeah. I mean, I just think I would rather somebody say, Jennifer, you are a terrible winner. It's true though. And that's something you need to work on. It's true. So that is like, it applies to you. But what if I don't want to fix it? No, no, no. I'm just saying that's an example. But when you give all these like, oh, here's what you need to do. You need to manifest.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You know, that doesn't help. I've had it with the manifesting mood boards. Shut up. It doesn't help. I'll tell you what I've manifested. And this is, I'm so proud of myself. I want to see Kylie's face on this. I averted a scam yesterday without Kylie. She did not help me. And she always helps me.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Because I got an Apple computer thing the other day, and I'm halfway through, and I thought, I need to ask Kylie. And she's like, immediately, it's a scam. Hang up. So yesterday, I get a call, and they say, this is so-and-so with the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Department. And I was like, huh. And it was a prefix from the courthouse. So I'm thinking it is the sheriff. The jury duty scam?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
No, that I had been subpoenaed to testify on December 16th and I didn't show up. And so now there was a warrant for my arrest. And I'm like, well, who issued the warrant? Well, I knew the judge. And I was like, that judge would have called me and said, hey, I'm issuing a warrant for you. So I was just like, this is just not, I'm not thinking this is real.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Like, I'm an attorney and everything you're saying makes no sense. And they hung up. But I did call the judge's office just to make sure it was a scam, just to be on the safe side that I hadn't missed a subpoena.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
fall prey to that. I have a friend that the same thing happened to her about three years ago, and she ended up paying $5,000 to get rid of her arrest. And it was all fake. And see, when they said Oklahoma County Sheriff, I was like, because one time I did have a warrant issued for my arrest. Wait, for what? For unpaid parking tickets. Oh, did you get picked up? No.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
What happened was I was literally nine months pregnant, like three days from my due date. You were a pregnant fugitive? I was a pregnant fugitive. And they called me. It was from when I was working before the kids. So Sam was two. I was getting ready to deliver Emily. And they called and they're like, this is the sheriff's department. You've unpaid parking tickets.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
We can issue a warrant, but we're giving you this courtesy call. So you can come down and pay it. And I knew I had a ton of parking tickets. So I was like, okay, whatever. So I roll into the sheriff's office and I'm the whole way down there. I'm like, I'm going to go to jail with my baby and I'm pregnant and it's horrible.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
So when they said it was the sheriff's department, I was clicking through my head like, do I have unpaid parking tickets? I don't think I do. Right. But anyway, so I averted a scam without Kylie's help. Excellent. Great job.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
We don't allow emergency vehicles to get through because we just don't give a fuck. It's already started. It's already started. I'll tell you what else happened to me while I was on that same road. So I am 100% at a stoplight. I'm looking at my phone. I'm on the phone with a girlfriend. She says, I'm sending you a picture. You have to look at it right now. So I'm looking at it.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You do. Okay, I have an announcement about my Stanley Cup. And I haven't done it yet. But I was told last night that... My friend's dermatologist told her that the Stanley cap, sucking on a Stanley cap with a straw is the same thing as smoker's lips. So I'm denouncing my Stanley cap because I don't pay this much money for Botox and filler to fucking ruin it with Stanley cap.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
So I'm gonna have to do something else. I don't know what I'm gonna do because this just, I mean, it's not even 24 hours old. But when I heard that, I was like, you know, the lead poisoning doesn't scare me. No, I'm not gonna fall into Trumpism. The smoker's lips?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I don't go immediately. That's on me. Completely know it. Well, there's this jeep. He just 100%, I could just tell, 100% MAGA. The way he was driving, the way his tires were super big, like it was a teeny weeny MAGA guy. So he's going in and out of traffic, in and out of traffic. So at the next light, I'm ahead of him. I'm going across him.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Right. And for the Kylie who tries to make me look like shit. I'm just going to fight her more.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, I knew I had them right when I saw him. You immediately identified them. Because it was a recent purchase. But anyway, yeah, I think Kiki, I'm liking Kiki, Kiki the magic lesbian. Yeah. I like it. Kiki the Magic Lesbian. Yeah, I like that. I like the soundtrack to it. Kiki the Magic Lesbian is a really good – I like that review about us restoring faith of people in the South.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And here's what I have to say that everybody needs to realize is even though our state is probably like 60%, 65% MAGA – that 35%, when you are a liberal in a red state, you really fight for it. You've earned it. I feel like liberals in red states have more fight in us than coastal liberals that take for granted the state governments that protect them. And I'll give you a prime example.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Pumps and I had on Governor Kathy Hochul of New York. And I just thought, man, this woman is a dynamo. I still think she's a dynamo. I think she's fantastic. We just really connected with her and bonded with her. And then we're up in New York to do some business for the podcast. And some of our friends that are New Yorkers are like, God, we had your governor on. She's fantastic.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Like, ugh. We hate her. And I'm like, let me tell you what's going on with my governor. Right. Let me tell you what's going on. Abortion ban dedicates every square inch to Jesus and thinks that says a statement like this. Government needs to be run like a business and doesn't understand how intellectually dishonest and stupid that statement is.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
We're dealing with dipshit extraordinaire out the wazoo. And you have the luxury of disagreeing with your governor about policy. Right. That's the difference. And so, you know, it's it's you got to give a lot of props to people in red states that go against the grain because we have to fucking fight for it because it's everywhere. It's MAGA shit is everywhere. Like you can feel it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Like I don't see in Oklahoma City. I don't see over MAGA-ness, but you can feel it. You feel it. Like we recently went to Los Angeles, my husband and my youngest son and I to tour a school. And the minute I got out in LAX, I could just feel that it wasn't as MAGA. It's just like in the air. It's just lighter. It's like there's just not as much MAGA air here.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, the other day we were just in the parking lot in front of the studio and a girl walks up. And next thing I know, we're 25 questions deep into her child support hearings. Yeah.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
That's awful. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids, so they're the only ones with school and district information. details, and reviews from multiple sources, including niche.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Spring is in the air, but you know what should not be in the air is that stinky, horrible, awful smell of a litter box. And for all of our listeners with cats, I have to tell you all about Pretty Litter. It obliterates odors so we can enjoy all the wonderful scents of this wonderful spring season. Pretty Litter's non-clumping formula traps odor and moisture.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's ultra absorbent, it's lightweight, low dust, and one six pound bag works for up to a month. And Pretty Litter gives me a peace of mind. It changes color to indicate early signs of potential illnesses in cats like urinary tract infections, kidney issues, and more.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
The best part, you guys, Pretty Litter ships for free right to your door so that you never run out and you don't have these huge kitty litter bags taking up all sorts of space. nor are you schlepping it to and from the car. Listener, Pretty Litter helps keep my house smelling fresh and clean. Try and you will love it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Go to prettylitter.com slash had it to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's prettylitter.com slash had it to save 20% on your first order and you get that free cat toy. prettylitter.com slash had it. Terms and conditions apply. Please see site for details. Okay, I have some news stories I would like to share.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
The first one is the smell of donuts can increase blood flow to the genitals and stimulate an erect phallus. So considering the head beaver in charge, you guys, she named a group chat in our Patreon, the Hard Rock Cock Chat. No, Rock Hard Cock Chat. Rock Hard Cock Chat. I would think that... This could be a tool in your toolbox to use around men. Have a box of donuts.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Do I run around with a donut hole between my legs? I wasn't thinking about that, but apparently you are. Apparently the woman who thinks about cock all the time is talking about cramming donuts up a vagine.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Sad to say. I think that's because this is a response related to sexual arousal in men. Hey. Well, my dick's bigger than a lot of these magma men. I'll just say that. I don't think there's any question about that. I also think it's a rather interesting thing that we could do a story arc on that you'd like to stick a donut up your vagine. Moving along. Dolphins have...
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
bromances in which two males pair up for as long as 15 years and help each other hook up with females. These paired males work together as wingmen to pursue guard and court females during mating season, greatly increasing their chances of reproductive development. success.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
These partnerships are built on complex social intelligence, communication, and trust, showing that dolphins not only form emotional bonds, but also engage in sophisticated social strategies similar to human relationships.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Here's just something I'm going to say that that I know that I'm not feeling this alone in a vacuum as a woman who was born into a patriarchal system. And everything has always been male-centered. Corporations, families, typically the principals at schools where I went were male. And then, you know, as a Gen Xer, then go to college, start your career.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And then you really start seeing some changes in, you know, civil rights movements like gays or, you know, gay marriage nationwide. And people are starting to talk about us reconciling our horrible racist past. And then all of a sudden, like the last year or two, it pops up. White men are struggling. Right. And I'm like... again. We have to deal with this shit again.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I've been dealing with this shit my whole goddamn life. Why do you always have to be the fucking focus of everything? Like that's an inherent difference. Maybe. I mean, at least from the women that I know, like this, this, I don't need to be emotionally like greedy all the time. Like, oh my God, now I'm hurting. Like women are advancing and getting jobs.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, just, and I know that it's an issue and I know we have to deal with it. But as a woman, I'm just like, can you guys just fucking quit being stage hogs all the time?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It really shouldn't be a thing. Like if somebody's boss is a female and she's very, very excellent at her job, if you're having a masculine emotional meltdown because of that, the problem is you. And now we have to do all this time and research propping up men again. And it's just exhausting. That's all I'm saying.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's just utterly exhausting, this desire to always be the center of attention that men have. from my perspective. Okay, last story. Sperm cells carry traces of childhood stress, epigenetic study finds. The groundbreaking finding supports the idea that trauma and adversity experienced in childhood can leave lasting biological imprints that extend beyond the individual.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
While the long-term impact on offspring is still being studied, the research suggests that a father's early life experiences may influence the health and development of future children. I think this makes perfect sense. I was going to say, yeah. And I think that... It worries me like for my kids because my husband's childhood was just, you know, so traumatic for him and raised by addicts.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
He himself was an addict, struggled so hard to find, you know, sobriety. And it makes sense that some of this trauma would also be somewhat painful. you know, genetic or pass through genes as well. Because even if you look at twin studies, you know, you'll have a couple, the upper middle class couple that adopts a child and the child
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
really functioning family, you know, for whatever that means, goes to school, et cetera, parents are great, and the child ends up in jail. And then they've gone back and studied what the biological parents were, and they were both in jail themselves. So there was like some sort of genetic component to that criminality or that lean towards that.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I couldn't stop. I recently did something like this, and I realized, like, mid-story what a grave error I had made. So I pulled up to the tennis center, and the head pro was like, hey, I like your car. He's a British guy. And I proceeded to tell him – The car I had before that, I was in a massive hailstorm that pummeled it, broke the windshield, had all this body damage.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I think this is interesting in understanding what makes people broken.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Frances, I couldn't agree with you more. This goes to what we talked about a couple weeks ago, personal space invaders. And I think that it's a confessed boundary violation from the jump. And I just, I think sometimes it's, you have to, you build to a hug. And I just, I'm not one of these people that just hugs everybody. I just, I have to build to a hug. I just have to build there.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
The only caveat to that is like Angie is my dearest friend. And if she has told me about one of her friends for weeks or months or a year, oh, my friend Jane Doe, she's so great. She tells me these intimate stories about her. And then I feel an affection having never met her before. Right. The very first time I would meet her, I would say, oh, my gosh, can I give you a hug?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I already feel like I know you because it's by proxy affection. But I just people say that to me. Oh, I'm a hugger. And I'm just like, oh, you're a freak. Like, do not invade my space. And it's typically the people that pronounce that they're huggers that are boundary violators.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I think when you first meet somebody saying I'm a hugger and then squeezing them, it's just such a personal space invasion. It's just like you don't get to say you're a hugger and then just violate my personal space. Like being a hugger means you don't have respect for boundaries is what that means. And because everybody that loves other people. It's like a foregone conclusion.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's saying like, I'm for family. Well, of course people like to hug. It's a human thing that we do. I think I've had it with people having to always explain like normal behavior. Of course, if you have an established relationship or an established affection, the next step of that is you go from hi and a wave and a nod to a hug as a greeting. It's a foregone conclusion.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But I know exactly what she's talking about. Because I've had people do that to me and I'm always just like, ugh, I don't like this. I'm always like, okay, okay. It's always somebody sweaty that's doing it too.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, it's a nice- I just really like that. That would be nice. It would be really nice. It'd be nice if we had walkable cities. It'd be nice if we had a president that believed in democracy.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
All right. Kiki the Magic Lesbian, who's next? Up next, we've got Haley.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Another basketball mom I was with threw up in the car and I no longer wanted the car. And as I'm into all of these details, like all I had to say when he said, I like your car is thanks. Thank you. How are you today? But I volunteered all of this boring stuff. irrelevant information. And it was only halfway through that I realized I'm not taking into account his feelings to hear this.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Moses Mike Johnson is the classic hypocritical Christian that lives in the Bible Belt. And Oklahoma, it's not technically the South, but it's culturally the South because it's just so religious. And this state and the Louisianas and Alabamas, Mississippis, All the racist slave states all still cling on to their guns and religion and the majority of Christians in this part of the country.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I'm not talking about you Methodists and normal people on the coast that go to a church that promotes equality and social justice. I'm talking about in the Bible Belt. There is a cancer in these Christians and they are the biggest hypocrites on the planet. There is this dissonance in which they engage every day wherein they worship money while
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
while at the same time their Lord and personal savior, one Jesus Christ, or as I like to call him, Jesus H. Christ, he spoke against the accumulation of wealth, spoke for standing with the marginalized. And if Moses Mike Johnson and all of these hypocritical white evangelical Christians in the South truly were followers of Christ,
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
They would be standing up for trans people, for black people, they would be demanding the return of Abrego Garcia. They would be at the border making sure people were treated humanely, but instead they side with billionaires and dehumanizing and the demoralization of other human beings. Christian, Southern Christian Republicans are the grossest people in the United States of America.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And it is the breeding grounds where MAGA was able to take hold.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And they're just like, oh, OK, yeah, this is why they attack education. You know, like in Oklahoma, you would think with our stats as staggering as they are.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
like a bottom five state consistently in every category year after year after year that the people in this state would say enough with these republican super majorities our schools suck our health care sucks our streets suck our you know we always make the news for the most embarrassing reasons we're a bottom 10 state but time and time again their hate for others
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
is where they go to vote and christian republican politicians offer them the biggest menu of hate in which they can vote from and that also offer them what they're comfortable with with their mega churches is being grifted right now let's support the rich preacher while you're struggling and i've told this story before but i'll just never forget it i was in like seventh grade and i went to church against my mother's permission but that's neither here nor there
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And my friend's mom, Shonda was her name, her mom was a UPS worker. And she really worked hard, like middle of the night hours to try to pay for Shonda's like cheerleading uniforms and things that the school didn't cover. And We go to this church where the preacher drives a Rolls Royce and the wife wears a full white mink coat. And she gave all the cash she had to them.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And then we had to count out literally pennies, nickels and dimes at 7-Eleven to put gas in her car. And so how do you get people like that? to vote for their own interest. I don't know, but I will never forget being a young teenage girl seeing that and saying, oh my God, my mother's 100% right about these religious people. Because I just, I mean, I saw it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I had no indoctrination, but it was so gross that she valued giving money to that clear con man. Right. Over, you know, supporting her, trying to support her own family. Yeah. It was just, it was, it was, it was, I'll never forget it. It just left such an impression upon me. It's really sad.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
So I wrapped it up pretty quickly. And, you know, it's just awful. Though I have a new story to tell you. So yesterday I was at my tennis lesson. And I was playing awful. I mean, awful. It was just mental. I couldn't hit the ball. My timing was off. Everything was off. And I could just tell Jeff had had it with me. I mean, I'm bitching after every point. He's just crushing me.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
You just don't think. And I don't know what, I don't know, you know, Fox News has enabled a lot of this. But the main thing that needs to happen is. You know, Trump administration is now talking about removing tax exemptions for universities. Well, when the Democrats get in power, they need to quit fucking around with this and tax the churches.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Tax, like there's some school called Liberty University, complete rat trap bullshit. That was the whole Jerry Falwell. Oral Roberts has a university, Oral Roberts. Are you kidding me? This man is a con man. locked himself up and said, if y'all don't give me $2 million, I'm going to burn in hell. Like he's going to die. And people sent the money.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
My grandmother, my mom, no wonder she was an atheist. My crazy ass grandmother, we called her Mama Worth, meaner than a rattlesnake, lived longer than all of my other grandparents. She sent money to oral robbers. And, you know, like, no wonder my mom was like, religion's fucked up, you know. So that's the only way I think that. No, it has to be done. It has to be some sort of governmental.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I don't know if she's a lesbian or not. And I don't know if he's gay or not, but I do know that they spend more time thinking about gay sex than most gay men I know. 100%. I've never seen a dedication by two alleged heterosexuals, alleged straights that sit around consumed with gay sex. I personally never think about gay sex because I'm not gay. So therefore, I'm not threatened by it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's your business, your life. Swing for the fences. Get on Grindr and grind away. Have at it. I don't give a shit. But what I give a shit about are hypocrites. like Moses Mike Johnson and his hateful little twat-ass wife. That have these pray the gay away torture camps. And he has these weird things where he's I do know this.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I have heard rumors about the guy, you know, Moses Mike lives with this evangelical preacher. Yeah. Who apparently rumor wise is a closet case. No surprise there. This multimillionaire from Nashville owns the condominium in D.C. where they live. And here's the thing. Why does this man have a roommate? Okay, that's weird. Right.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But then this guy, the car dealer that funds this, apparently he's been married like four times. The rumor is he made his ex-wife, because they had a really nasty divorce, watch a gay porn with him. So a lot of the MAGA men, their insecurity regarding their masculinity is number one, I think that they themselves are turned on by gay sex, which who cares? Don't be a dick about it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
We're not going to be dicks to you about it. We're going to be a dick about your hypocrisy. And number two, then they're very jealous that gay men are so sexually liberated. You know, we've had, you know, that cyclist, that Peloton guy that we have. Oh, Cody Rigsby. He's great. Yeah. And he was talking about his sex life and how great it was and how liberated he was sexually.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And we've talked to other. And I think there's this inherent jealousy that these sexually repressed men that have to do all this Bible study and all this just completely. complete waste of time bullshit worried about gay sex. I think they're just real jealous that they're not that liberated to have that kind of shame-free sex.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And so he finally is just disgusted. He cannot take it anymore. And he walks up to the net and he goes... Maybe if you're not going to hit any balls with any pace on him, maybe you should try to hit them away from me instead of just hitting me softballs the whole hour, Jennifer. And just shamed you. Just totally. And you know what? He was 100% right. It was like the pep talk that I needed.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I think they're kind of turned on by rock-hard cogs, which is something you have in common with them. Absolutely. I say, Mike, go for it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
The Moms of Liberty. Bridget's big MAGA. You know, she's in there at the school boards going crazy, banning books. Banning books. And her husband's big Trump thumper, you know, has probably the homoerotic Photoshopped images of Trump. On his desk. And their side hustle project is they engage in menage a trois. Right. Which my thing is, I don't give a shit. If you want to menage, menage away.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But apparently the husband was like sexually abused and didn't follow the rules of consent with their third party. And they're the ones who run around claiming all of this sexual purity and trying to regulate people's sex lives. And it's always the people like that. Moses, there's some fucked up sexually going on with him, something going on with J.D. Vance, for sure with Trump.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, there's no question there's some sort of sexual shortcoming there.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I'll tell you who else is a red flag to me who is on my watch list. Josh Hawley.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I just get a gay darping like nobody's business. And then he was with that kicker. Yeah. That hates women. Harrison. But. But.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But they basically get together and they've taken couples photos like engagement photos. And I just like the sexual tension in the in the photograph, like it's hard to capture that. Like I would say the last time I saw that was when Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston and he first started fucking Angelina Jolie and they were like on the cover of Vanity Fair.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And it was like, oh, my God, the sexual tension like those people are fucking like it just popped off the page. That's what I thought about this kicker and Josh Hawley. I thought, I mean, there's a lot of sexual tension there.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Too bad they're such fucking hypocritical assholes that don't have the courage like all of these other brave, amazing Americans and LGBTQ people all around the world because it takes a lot of courage to come out and be who you are and accept the judgment from the hypocritical assholes like these people. I completely agree. Yeah.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
okay uh kiki the cocoa puff i like kiki do you love me is that a drake song that's drake i'm proud of you pumps okay if my husband and my sons buy me another candle or another bathrobe for mother's day i'm going to completely lose it that's why i'm so proud to support and personally endorse the best digital photo frame by wire cutter you guys it's called aura frames
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
and they are guaranteed to mix things up this year. Generally, mothers love images of their children, their family, vacations, et cetera. With Oriframe, you can download directly from your iPhone to the frame, and then you have your own stylish frame, but the pictures jump and change, and you can update it at any time. Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day for our listeners.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
For a limited time, listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver mat frame. That's a-u-r-a-frames.com. Be sure to use the promo code HADIT. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Everybody knows Ozempic and WeGoVee is all the rage and negotiating with your insurance provider shouldn't be something else that you need to worry about. That's why I'm so happy to share with you about Roe. Roe's insurance checker lets you know if you're covered for GLP-1s for free.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And it reminded me that there is this movement that we oppose, this toxic positivity movement where people want to be praised all the time. And if Jeff had just continued to tell me, good shot, good shot, how does that help me? How does that help anyone? It just feeds this ridiculous, non-deserved ego that I have about being an athlete, right? It just would feed the worst parts of me.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Roe can help you understand if GLP-1s like Ozempic and WeGoVee are right for you and your goals, but that's just the beginning. If you're eligible for GLP-1s and you want to see if you're covered, all you have to do is submit your insurance card and Roe will take care of the rest. No paperwork, no negotiating, no waiting on hold.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Join the over 350,000 people who've trusted Roe to check their coverage for free. Listener, go to roe.co slash had it for your free insurance check. That's roe.co slash Okay, we've got Lisa next.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's so true. It's so true. The other day I saw that like on our comment section, because we start off our show with petty grievances. And typically our Tuesday, Thursday episodes of I've Had It are lighter by nature, you know, comedic relief. Although we do talk about serious things because we're in serious times. And in our IHIP news, we really fucking hammer it, right? So somebody writes...
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It must be nice to be upset about such petty things when the world's on fire. And somebody else, something about like, oh, you're worried about your parking spot and there's people starving in the world. And it's just like, why does everybody always have to go into the comment section and just try to like one up catastrophize? It's like, I want to make a bigger catastrophe of this.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Right. Yeah. No, Pumps is right. The other day we're doing like an IHIP news and I play, it's these two blonde women that remind me of a lot of the women that she like sent her kids to school with. They look just like that group of moms from Crossings. And they're talking about like the sun and the planets and God controlling them. And Pumps is like... They're joking, right?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Instead, he chewed my ass out and I went back and actually started playing a lot better. And I thought, you know, sometimes somebody checking you and just saying... If this is what you're going to do, fine. But, you know, I'm paying him. And he's like, is this really what we're going to do here today, Jennifer? He chewed my ass out. And it was so great.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Nobody would believe that. And in my mind, I'm like, is she gaslighting me? Because you like literally have said to me multiple times, looked me straight in the face and said, did you know people used to live to be 900 years old? I'd be like, fucking that never happened. Nobody lived to be 900. That is a lie. But maybe there's something to it. Like once you find, it's like a recovering smoker.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yes. You're harder on those because you used to be in it. And now that your eyes are open, you're like a recovering smoker. Maybe that's the parallel. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like you're fucking with me though or gaslighting. No, I know. I'm like, what the fuck? I had to explain to you about modern science and filter, I mean, modern medicines and filtered water that people didn't live long.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I remember you said, well, maybe there was no disease in the Garden of Eden. And I was like... There was no Garden of Eden, Angie. I remember exactly where we were. We were at Mazzio's Pizza on North Penn in Oklahoma City. And the conversation went on for like 20 or 30 minutes. And I remember I got in the car. And I started in my car and I thought, how can somebody go to law school? Yeah.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Because it requires blind obedience. That's right. And that's what Trump is using to manipulate these people. That's right. You have to believe in him. And your stock market's poof. Your Medicare is going away. Your Social Security is going away. But you have to have blind obedience that he alone can fix it. And that's why your former president.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
people that you had in your life fall prey to this so easily because blind obedience is their default setting right yeah yeah totally but you're not on pimp's watch anymore you guys she's the reformed smoker of enlightened thinking critical thinking not you are though it's really amazing it's but i mean it just takes so it takes more effort than people think i guess and it takes more effort than i give people credit for but i think it's really cool because kind of once you
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I remember when you called and told me, you're like, I think all this stuff is bullshit. I remember how shocked I was. I was so shocked. And then you've just kind of gone on and on. And now you're like more hardcore about a lot of this shit than I am. I'm like, you go, girl. Make up for lost time. Go skittle. Yeah. Go skittle, beaver. Burn it to the ground. Burn it to the ground.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But see, your story is so good because... you used to be a part of the problem and be the judger and you found enlightenment. And let me just ask you this. Are you happier? A hundred percent. Yes.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But let me ask you this. When you found out, and I remember because I was your safe haven.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
that everything you believed about your marriage and life and life and all you had to do was pray was all bullshit and the betrayal in which your husband did and that moment of collapse, which would be terrible for anybody regardless of your faith, do you think that that hit you harder because it shook your very foundation?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, I absolutely do. I remember you sitting on my porch and we were smoking and there were two layers to it. There was number one, I can't believe my husband did this. Right. My life is a fraud. And number two, this wasn't supposed to happen. To me. You had a bargain with your worldview that you were indoctrinated in. Right. And it was, I'm going to be a good girl.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I'm going to do everything my mother tells me. And I'm going to pray. I'm only going to do these things on this approved list. And I remember you would vacillate from this isn't supposed to happen to me to my children's lives are supposed to be perfect. And I remember I would look at you and I go, why do you think your kids' lives are supposed to be perfect?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's just what I mean, I 100% believed it. I remember. And I remember it was like a it was I remember when Joshua was like, how's pumps doing? And I would say there's this extra layer that everything she's dealing with is devastating, but there's an extra layer to it that the grand bargain that she made with life and it was pitched to her. Right. was a scam.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
That's perfectly put. And what was so great about a lot of it, though, I have to give you so much credit, is you would be freaking out. You'd cry, this is supposed to happen to me. White woman, temper tantrum. And then I would kind of be like, pumps. But no childhood is perfect. Because then what's adulthood supposed to be like? Just a round of disappointment.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And then you'd kind of start chuckling. And you were... Your intelligence and self-deprecating nature, I think, was really therapeutic through that whole thing and probably led you to the ultimate enlightenment of being deprogrammed from the cult of evangelical Christianity. Yeah, well, we had to laugh.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
So yeah, listen, here's the deal, everybody. So we have a book that we wrote and it's not political. It's about our friendship and all the fuck ups and all the mistakes we made that led us to a place where we could, as two women from Oklahoma, start a podcast and it actually be obviously America's top DEI podcast. Goes without saying.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Anyway, the publisher of the book is like, y'all need to go on tour. Y'all need to do this. Y'all need to do that. And like, we just feel like we need to be here on our channel fighting for democracy. We're only going to do one show at the 92nd Street Y in New York City. And other than that, we're going to come right back here. And so we need for you all to preorder our book.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It'll be posted in the link below so that we can show our publishers that we have our own way of marketing it. And we don't need to go grandstand around America. Yeah. right now. Yeah. Get them off our ass. Yeah. So buy our book. It's a good little read. It's a good little read. We're kind of fucking crazy. It's a little bit of a manifesto. But anyway, yeah, buy the book.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It drops America. Things are different. I can't fucking do it. I can't see one more. I'm a big boy with my Eagle shirt on an airplane right now. I just can't see it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. And I'm just going to tell you like my, after that, the timing, the rhythm, the four hands, Rip City, baby. It got better. And then we played to 10 at the very end, and I beat Jeff 10-8. I lost every single game before that, every single one. And it was after the ass-chewing that I showed up and I started playing proper tennis. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
All right. Kiki, the magic lesbian and the beaver and I, tell them when we will see them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Yes. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I've had it with – there's a lot of things I've had it with Trump. But this is just something – sometimes I want to talk about something that we can all just – talk about that's not so deep and not so emotionally damaging to hear about and have the perfect grievance regarding him. His desecration, interior desecration of the Oval Office.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
This motherfucker thinks he's Marie Antoinette and the Oval is Versailles. It is a shame to that era in French design and architecture. It is embarrassing to the Oval Office. It looks like a nouveau riche, white trash, riffraff, knickknack flea market. It is so embarrassing. And every time he's in there, he's popped up more gold. Yeah. And I just think it looks horrible.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I think it is some of the worst design I have ever seen. I hate it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And Trump tries to project what he is insecure about all the time. He tries to project that he's so manly, yet he, oh my God, people write bad articles about me. Yeah, motherfucker, you're the president of the United States. Welcome to the big stage. Why are you being such a pussy about it?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
He inherited $500 million, squandered it, has been a horrible businessman, absolutely horrible, but yet he tries to project this Marie Antoinette nouveau riche you know, translated over to the Americas, which is just a disgrace.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I think he and all of the people surrounding him are either have massive problems with masculine insecurity or the women that surround them are kind of like battered wives. You know, they go out there and campaign against the very principles that enabled them to be women that hold that level of job, like Kristi Noem, Tulsi Gabbard, et cetera.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
So I just think these are like the worst impulses of America that we've ever bred, all the worship of capitalism, the worship of the patriarchy, the worship of white supremacy. And we broke it down so hard. We got the people who were damaged the most by the worship of all of these things, they got elected. Right. They're in power. That's what happened. Yeah. That is what happened.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, black-triots, non-MAGA-triots. Fuck off! Pumps is back. She's back. She's better never. I'm sure you have some grievances you're ready to share with our listener.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And when the autopsy is on this, the acquiescence that happened from Trump 1.0 and the four years in the middle before we get to Trump 2.0, All of the lack of movement to prevent this from happening within America. But also now, you know, our allies are like, oh, shit, we can't align with America anymore.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I hope the world lesson is when somebody elects a dictator that attempts a coup and the country hasn't put him in jail yet. then you've got to start treating that country and their populace as somebody you might not want to do business with. And maybe that would have helped the Biden administration and the Democrats take it more seriously if the EU and Canada and others would have said, WTF?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
What are y'all doing here? Right. I completely agree. I'm not saying it's their fault per se. I think it is a worldwide problem where everybody just leans into the assumption politics and we assume, well, people aren't going to be that crazy to elect him again. That's not going to happen. Right. People right now are assuming. Well, we're going to get to the midterms.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I have a question for you. What? Why do you engage in it so frequently when we're together with strangers? Well... Is it to torture me? It's to torture you.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And whenever we play assumption politics, we get our asses handed to us. Because guess what they're doing right now? There's a bunch of crackheads like Steve Bannon and all these other just nut jobs that are over there machinating about how can we get him a third term. And we're sitting here going, oh, that'll never happen. They're actually sitting there figuring out how to do it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And that's the problem is this assumption politics, this assumption that everybody's going to do the right thing.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
So it surprises me zero. Oh, here's another one. His golf swing is terrible.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Totally. I'm the biggest dork. And then you have all these insecure men. He is their idealized form of masculinity. Yeah. Think about that. I mean, the psychological autopsy on this whole thing, if we survive it, is fascinating. It's just fascinating how broken maga loyalists are, what broken, immoral, disgusting, cruel, nasty people they are, that they like triple trumped it with him. Yeah.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Don't fuck with the beaver. And it's Canada's animal. Right. The mascot. And we love Canada. We do love Canada. Kylie.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
She gets all the evolution of nicknames always favors you. But it's because you're the favorites. Because you're the favorite. And we rebrand you all the time to keep you exciting for the listener. Because I'm old. The listener loves a Pumps rebrand. Yeah, I do. I mean, Meat Curtain, America's Legal Eagle.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I'll tell you what, that's something I never anticipated happening, but I totally support. I do too. And I love even that she lured us in with five stars, but it was really only four. Yeah. Do you think that was a typo or do you think that's just a fuck with the old ladies that host the podcast?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
This is hot shit hotel over here at the I've Had It podcast studios. I mean, no question about it. All right. Who's next?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Oh, munch, munch. Is that some sort of lesbian jargon? No, I think it's beaver.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. And Kiki, I like that for you. Yeah. Kiki's good. Kiki's good. There's a whole Drake song. Kiki, do you love me? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you have a song. Even though I'm team Kendrick Lamar. I was going to say, you're... the biggest Kendrick Lamar fan I've ever known. I'm team Kendrick Lamar. I mean, there's just no question about it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, him wearing those little Celine britches, looking straight in the camera, telling Drake to go fuck himself is just some of the best. That's what I needed in that exact moment. I wish he'd make another diss track.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
So a Galentine is where you get your girlfriend, non-lesbian, non... Romantic. Scissoring. Non-scissoring. Okay. Girl... Platonic. So we could be Galentine's.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
She did. And I mean, from a 25 year old's perspective. Oh, we are ancient. But I am always so surprised at how young a lot of our listeners are. I am too.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
If you ever, I swear, we cannot have that friendship. No, no. I cannot have any part of any sort of Galentine. Furthermore, I think if as a couple, you put this huge, huge, huge, huge, huge emphasis on something like Valentine's Day or an anniversary... There is a performative nature to that.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
We should be they. We're the they. We should be they. So, listener, when you go out, you can say, they say that having a tattoo on your arm of your husband, you're going to get divorced. Right. Who is they? Everybody knows except for you.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I think we should be they. I like that. I think that's a great grievance. He's so right. And I do remember you. I do too. We flew out to do our show in Seattle and he was flying out to see our show in Seattle and he was on both flights. And that was so sweet of him to travel that far, but he's a hundred percent correct. And where they abuse is peak is Facebook.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Which now they're removing fact checking from Facebook. So people are just going to get dumber and more conspiracy prone than ever before. I would also just like to say I've had it with Zuckerberg.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah, it was weird. It was big. These oligarchs, these tech bros are fucking weird. They're weirdos that suck off all of us to become billionaires. They want zero accountability. They don't pay their workers well. They're consolidating too much power and have had it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
That's a great story. I can't believe that. The white entitlement is – it's so gross. It's so gross the way people get treated that have to work in conditions like the airport.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
There is the day in, day out that is so much more important, that means so much more, that's so much more stabilizing for a relationship. I think like the overdoing of anniversaries and the overdoing of Valentine's Day to me is a red flag that that relationship's gonna end. Here's how I rank it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I do not. I do not go to those stores. If I go to a store. And they are forcing Christianity via their audiovisual system on their customers. I tuck and roll out. I do not make a purchase there. I will not shop there. I will have nothing to do with it. This is unique. to evangelicals. There are normal Episcopalians. Right.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
There are Catholics. There are Methodists that do not have this weird, codependent, toxic desire to recruit everybody nonstop. And it is a very narcissistic religion where the people that are in it think that God loves them and favors them more than everybody else on the planet. And I will not frequent a business that plays Bible thumper music. I'm out. You're not getting my money. No. No.
I've Had It
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I mean, honestly, out of all the shit that I hear that people do. That doesn't alarm me that much because we've talked about people listening to shit on their speaker, all this stuff. Some of that to me is just par for the course in Trump's America, but it takes a lot to shock me these days. You're shockproof.
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Yeah, you know, I mean, people are living longer and longer. And it's, you know, we get to where... You know, everybody's been the asshole toddler. Right. And something we don't really talk about a lot is there's asshole old people. A lot. And oftentimes they're rude, not nice. And they've had it. And they've earned the right to be cranky. I get it.
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But, you know, it's kind of like for me personally, I don't really want to be around people at the beginning of their lives or at the end. Right. There's a sweet spot.
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I mean, 85 is so different. It's so subjective. You have to take it all on a case-by-case basis. Right, like if I'm perfectly healthy and all that – Bernie Sanders is sharp as a tack, tons of energy. Dipshit Donald Trump has a ton of energy. And so it's different for every – it's kind of a case-by-case basis. But I get where he's going, but I – I feel bad.
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I mean, it's obviously horrible to grow older, but I think when it comes to toddlers and older people, the best way to have empathy and love for them is when you have a shared DNA. Oh, of course. And then outside of that, it becomes increasingly difficult.
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It's always a trap. And my response when somebody does this is why? I flipped the script. What are you doing Saturday? My response is why? Right. Why? Question mark. That's how I respond to it because I want, let's cut through this bullshit. Let's get straight to the nut cutting because I'm not, I want to know exactly what it is you want from me.
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And furthermore, it's not your business what I'm doing on Saturday. Like, I don't just randomly text people and say, what are you doing on Saturday? I'm more direct. It's passive, aggressive texting. It's bullshit. And people just need to be more direct.
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Wait, wait, wait. Is the Valentine production or a tattoo? Number two. Oh, you know, I haven't thought about a tattoo. Kylie, start writing all this stuff down. Number one, vow renewal. Number two, is it... Like the name or like the ring? Like your anniversary date or some reference to one another. Some reference that you're tattooing your relationship with this other person on your body.
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I 100% do this. I do that. I was just thinking guilty as charged. I do it. She's 100% right. It's annoying, etc. But I always think. Did this person do a thorough check? Did they miss something? Did they thoroughly check under each and every single one of these? Do we 100% know that there is not one hole available? I need to know that. So I always do a little looky-loo.
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I'm always doing a little, I'm right behind you. I'm doing a little checking your work. Yeah, I am guilty. Oftentimes too, when I do my little check.
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There's an open spot. Yeah. And then I go and push the door and I'm like, you were ahead of me, but this was open. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it.
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Right. And she's nicer and probably a lot more likable than we are. She's probably a lot more attractive than we are. She has a lot more serenity, a lower resting heart rate. I think there's probably better genetics. A lot of things that this woman has that we don't, that she can have that style of grievance. I can't relate to it because I'm the person with whom she's had it.
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That is so annoying. Oh my gosh. That is just so annoying. I'm just going to say, I don't like whistlers, hummers. I don't like it. People that are like humming when you're shopping and you pass by them and they're humming. I always want to look at them and go, shut the fuck up and quit humming. Right. And it's more of like a nervous...
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I just think that there's two ways to look at this. I don't know if this is grandstanding or showboating, which is what I want it to be. Right. So that I can really, really sink my teeth into the grievance of this. But it also could be this. Also could be that person's happy. Just feels like humming. And we always go back to. We're the assholes.
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This is where if we were to have social referees or social umpires, they have a whistle, they can write citations, et cetera, et cetera. I think you also get a SWAT. Remember when we were in grade school, kids would get sent to the office and get a SWAT. They get paddled. This is where I think it's just a slap across the face. Like, listen up, motherfucker. Nobody wants to hear your whistling.
I've Had It
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I think that goes as number two over the Valentine's Day. The tattoo. Okay.
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Nobody thinks it's cute, neat, or fun. You're going to get slapped across the face.
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I think the thing is of what we've learned is people that do fucked up shit are surrounded by fucked up enablers. Right. Yeah. And that's why they continue to do this because nobody ever checks them.
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All right. I think that's, is that all we have for today, Kylie? Yep. Okay. Pumps, tell them.
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Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
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That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
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I knew this girl once. I still know her and she's divorced. But the guy that she was married to whom she had a child with, she tattooed his name right up right above the triangle of her vagine hair. Okay. That's a red flag. That has got to be a red flag. Would you say that that's number two or number three? The tattoos.
I've Had It
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Let me just say this. Narrow it for me. If I walked in here tomorrow and I put JTW, Josh's initials, if I had them tattooed on my body, what would you think?
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I would because I would just be like, why now? All right. What's happening now? Let me ask you this. So Valentine's Day is coming up and I say, oh, I'm really going to get Josh a really good gift. And I've made reservations for Valentine's this year. Which one do you consider more dire? The tattoo with Josh's initials or the all chips in on Valentine's Day?
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I immediately know. I agree. I think that is right up there splitting hairs with Val Renewal.
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It's got to. Number two would be the over effusive, I love my man, I love my woman Valentine's Day post that you post for everybody to see. Number three, tattoo. Number four, over celebrating Valentine's Day slash anniversary. Let's say this, let's say it's your sixth year anniversary. Number one, that's not that big of an accomplishment. Right. Number two, six isn't that great of a number.
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Sure. I'm down. Eight? Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Nobody wants to hear that. Nobody cares. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. What? Christian talk. Like a TikTok for Christians? There's this whole algorithm. All these stupid white evangelical Christians that do all this stupid shit on the internet. And people know how much it irritates me. Right.
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And I'm talking about Kylie and I'm talking about our other producer, Seth. They know how much this shit irritates me. I'm also talking about all the cult members in Patreon. Right. They send me this shit. They DM it to me and I take the bait and I open it. And then when I go to my page that not like the people I follow, but the curated little page that Instagram does for you. Yes.
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Number one, I do like the candy, so I don't have a problem with that. Little sweethearts, not the ones that are chalky, but like the sweetheart brand ones. My mouth, it's like Pavlov's dog. It's kind of watering right now thinking about them. But I agree with you. Here's my problem with Valentine's Day. I've had it with Valentine's Day. I agree.
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With a little magnifying glass. I like for it to have travel, French Bulldogs, interior design, and tennis. That's it. I start seeing this peeping in of evangelical mega church bullshit Christianity on there. And I have had it for fuck's sake. If you believe in all that shit, swing for the fences. I don't give a shit. I don't want to see it. Quit trying to recruit people.
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Quit trying to convert people. I've just, I've absolutely had it up to my eyeballs with evangelical Christianity. It is a cancer and it drives me bananas.
I've Had It
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Well, I read an article that churches are having a very difficult time keeping the doors open because business is not booming. It is decreasing. The largest growing religious group in the United States are the nuns, like no religion at all. And so you have all of these huge, you know, mega churches and a part of their business model. It's a total racket.
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It's a total pyramid scheme is to recruit other people. And they feel like that is a part of their mission, that they've got to recruit other people, not be a good person, just recruit other people. And when I see these young kids that should be out there. do being, you know, 20 years old, 18 years old, you should be having sex, right?
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You should be smoking some weed, you should, I mean, 80% of your life, you should do the right thing. But that 20%, those bad choices you make, make those. That's a part of growth, right? That's a part of learning. That's a part of self discovery. The fact that these morons Get on the internet and talk about saving themselves and saving their virginity.
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It's such a disservice to every single human being on this earth. And I just cannot stand that content. I can't stand that culture. I hate megachurch culture. Evangelical Christianity is a cult. It drives me fucking bananas. The architecture, I just want to remind everybody, is some of the worst this country has to offer. The pastors... are so fake and so gross.
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I'm looking at you, Craig Groeschel of Life.Church. It is disgusting. And I think it's such a grift. And I think it ruins so many people. And then on the other side of it, they have to go to all of this therapy to get deprogrammed. And I've just had it up to my eyeballs with the evangelical Christian movement.
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I think it is the most overrated, stupid holiday ever. To think about all of the people that go out and you're just trying to get this just because somebody made this day completely commercial. But I want to get back to something you said, Galentine.
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It is such a racket. And I am so grateful that people are finally waking up to what a racket evangelical Christianity is. It is a pyramid scheme. It is a grift of the highest of high orders. And the people that subscribe to this faith think that they have Christian exceptionalism, that God favors them over other people. They tend to be homophobic, racist, pieces of shit Trumpers.
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And I've had it up to my eyeballs. And let me tell you something, listener. I'm going to keep bringing that energy in 2025 in Trump's America. That brings me to, well, first of all, welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. We received something in the mail. First of all, I just want to say we receive a lot of stuff in the mail. A lot of you take the time to send us cards and gifts.
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And I just want all of you to know that we receive them and we love them and we have them in the studio. And it means so much because as we speak into these microphones, sometimes we think, hello, hello, is this thing on? Is anybody there? Are you listening? And to know that you took time out of your day to send us something special means the world.
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But we received something that I think is incredibly important with a letter that I'm going to read for everybody now. It says, hello, Jennifer, Pumps, and Kylie. I've been a diehard listener of I've Had It and IHIP News for a long time now. I love the podcast.
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I'm like a rat on crack that can't get enough of your fuck you raining and raving over all grievances, petty, massive, and everything in between. I especially enjoy Jennifer's absolute rage rants against all Republican titty babies. Nothing brings me more joy than when you call out Trump, President Musk, Moses Mike, and the entire clown car of right-wing assholes and ass kissers.
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You have a true gift for articulating so well the deep corruption and jet stream of bullshit spews by the right. I listen with complete rapt attention every time you speak. It just blows my mind that half of the electorate voted for a dumb as fuck, pathological liar, rapist, convicted felon, insurrectionist with a teeny weeny diseased brain and bad hair and makeup.
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Your podcast will definitely help me get through the next four years of the fucking crazy shit show coming our way. Like pumps, I am a 50-something single chick that has not had sex in well over 9,000 days.
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Only difference is that I never married or had kids. So my life is completely unfettered. I have my freedom, autonomy and independence and pumps. I know that you now embrace that too. You're an inspiration to the tribe of mature single ladies with cobwebs between their meat curtains. Thanks for representing us and keeping up the good work.
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I'm an amateur artist and was inspired to create this painting for you that depicts my interpretation of the blue wing talk. That's our bird. We have a mascot. The blue winged hog. I think that my version of this majestic creature captures the true essence of the patriots, gaitriots, and theytriots that make up the IHIP realm. I hope you like it. I had so much fun painting it.
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Keep on fighting the good fight. I will be here listening, ranting, raving, laughing, and crying with you every day. Thank you.
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Alyssa. Love that. What a great letter. For our YouTube viewers, you can see now the Blue Winged Hawk. This is our bird.
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She's a good artist. Look at the majestic wings. And so listener, you will have to check it out. It's a beautiful, majestic from Alyssa. And there's just one part of this letter. I just want to read one more time. Like pumps, I'm a mid 50 something single chick. I just impressed that she didn't think I was 50.
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That's what that's my takeaway. Okay. Okay. Kylie, what's going on on the internet?
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Let me ask you this. Do you think lesbians have, because of the double estrogen, do you think there's more of a propensity to do all of those things? Yeah.
I've Had It
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You would think that, but Josh tattooed my middle name on his arm. I have zero tattoos and I would never, I love Josh. He's the father of my two children. I would never fucking tattoo anything to do with him on my body.
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You'll go and grab a bite by yourself. You enjoy thoroughly living by yourself. Why do we have to pressure you to finally come out of the closet as a lesbian and reveal yourself to our listeners? I don't know why we're putting this pressure campaign on you. Why can't we just let you be the asexual closet lesbian that makes you happy?
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I never knew. Listen up, listener. We are sometimes sharp as a tack and sometimes it takes us a long time to arrive there. But when we arrive, we arrive with enthusiasm. That's right. This is exciting. Okay, Kylie, any more reviews?
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Oral Roberts is oh my god so at the same tennis tournament where I talked to Whitney about your asexuality there was a girl she's a D1 tennis player for Oral Roberts and so I asked her I said do you you go to Oral Roberts she said yes I said what's it like do they have all these crazy rules blah blah blah she said yes they do but of course she's in college and she's having fun but they have all of the like you know no kissing boys no I mean all of these that's like a written rule
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Yes, I chat GPT'd it. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just like, I think it's so stupid and abusive and cruel to tell kids at the peak of their like raging hormones that they can't make out with people and that it's wrong. I just think that is one of the dumber movements of our species. Absolutely. And I feel like College is prime sex years. Totally.
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You're supposed to have one night stands, make out with people. I mean, it's just that's just a part of that whole process. Right. Like to shame them. It's just and then because then you know what happens? They need all these weirdos that end up having these accounts with only fangirls on them. Right. On the down low because they're married and a pastor of a church or something.
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This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
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Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
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I mean, recently I was at a doctor's office and a woman came and sat right next to me when there were nine other available chairs. I don't understand it. I don't get it. I don't understand it. There's a psychology to let's separate... When we can. There are times where we're forced together. There's times where we have no choice but to personally invade spaces.
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Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids.
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So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
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Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
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Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. Okay, I have some new stories I would like to share with you all. First one is a mother was ordered to pay her toddler $2,000 for cracking an egg on her head for a TikTok trend.
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The stunt, meant to be playful, was deemed degrading and reckless by a Swedish court, which convicted the 24-year-old of harassment in 2025. The prank was part of a TikTok trend where parents surprised children with eggs for laughs. Prosecutors argued it caused emotional harm while the mother claimed it was harmless fun.
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She was ordered to pay $20,000 of the Swedish currency, which is the equivalent of about $2,055 in damages to her two-year-old. Thoughts?
I've Had It
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So this is talking about, I agree with you on all of that. This is a little different because they're talking about that she degraded her daughter, cracked the egg on a two-year-old's head, filmed it, and published it online. And the courts found it to be emotionally harmful, degrading, and reckless. And I mean, here's the thing.
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An example would be walking into a basketball game. We've been going to all these Thunder playoff games. It's personal space invasion out the wazoo from parking to entering to sitting down to going to the restroom. It's a nightmare, right? But when you have the opportunity to distance yourself or your vehicle from vehicles at large or humanity at large, Take the opportunity.
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I did see this video the other day where it was like a compilation of all of these babies crying. And the parent threw a slice of American cheese and it landed on the baby's head. And the baby immediately goes from wah to ugh. Five or six of them in a row. So I immediately forward it to my nephews that have little babies right now.
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And I write, will you please, can I please come over when your baby is crying and can we throw a piece of American cheese on its head? I don't know that we'd film it or do anything like that, but it was hilarious. So then I read that and I'm like, oh my God, it's reckless. It's harmful. I do have to say, I think cracking the egg...
I've Had It
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on the baby's head specifically to make it go viral on your tick tock it does seem degrading right because it's all runny and all of that but then the question is is the american cheese thing that i'm dying to do to my little nephews and knees is that degrading here's the i'm all in on the cheese it's hilarious oh my god it's so funny kylie you'll have to pull it up and we'll have to play it it's so hilarious we'll have to play it another episode okay next up
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A study shows that dogs react to inequality the same as humans, showing signs of depression when treated unequally. Researchers found that when dogs witnessed other dogs receiving rewards for the same task while they got nothing, they became visibly frustrated, refusing to continue participating.
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Signs of emotional distress such as avoiding eye contact, lowering their eyes, or showing less enthusiasm mirrored the way humans respond to unfair treatment. As everybody knows. I have these two dogs that are basically my biological children, Tabby and Cha-Cha. And it is a minefield to give them both attention, accolades, and the love that they need because the jealousy over my affection –
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while understandable, obviously, is there's a lot of conflict surrounding it. So if I'm over to Tubby and I'm just telling him, you know, you're a good boy, you're so photogenic, you're incredibly intelligent, all the things that I tell him to build his self-esteem. Cha-Cha is sitting over there and she's like side-eyeing and then she looks down. And then so I go over to give her love.
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And then Tubby like just snot holes his head up. And looks away and then he kind of side eyes back. So, I mean, and I have to go through this in the mornings after I pick them up from doggy daycare at home, bedtime. It is a minefield raising two dogs equally because there is no question they feel it.
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Cha-Cha does this whole thing where she – I'll sit down on the sofa and she races up to Jockey to be in the position of closest to me. And then she moves back and forth so that her ass is going both ways so that Tubby can't penetrate. Yeah. So he has to climb up. When she wipers her ass. And then Tabby has to climb kind of up and over to get to the other side.
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Then she goes over there and cock blocks him there. I mean, it's just, it's a series of problems. So this makes sense to me. Okay. Now I want to share with you all a little. montage that I found online that I thought would be fun. And this is the most unhinged shit people have used their chat GPT for. All right. The first one is, my brother had to go to jail. Chat GPT found a loophole in the law.
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My brother is free now. Are you going to comment? I don't know what that means.
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loophole in the law you're a lawyer well i mean it so it found a technicality is that what it's saying yeah okay i mean that's good for chat gpt and people that can't afford lawyers okay all right next up uh told it every single detail of every interaction i had with my crush so we could analyze if he liked me or not when we started dating chat gpt was so excited for me
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So they're strategizing with ChatGPT to find out if... if she can get this guy and then they land it and chat GPT is elated. That makes me really happy that, I mean, that's funny. Okay. Next up. Uh, I forgot to unsub yearly chat. I forgot to unsub yearly chat GPT plus chat GPT wrote a letter to chat GPT for a refund. I got it back. Ha ha.
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So, okay, next up, recorded an argument with my ex and asked ChatGPT if I was being manipulated, got a full analysis on every manipulation and gaslighting technique he used.
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So she got that in real time. So she recorded, you know, had her phone voice memo, fighting with her ex, records it, then puts it into chat GPT and prompts the AI, find examples of manipulation and gaslighting and chat GPT, analyzes the conversation and then sends her a report.
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Yeah. Okay. Next up. I got sick of my college students using chat GPT to write their essays. So I use chat GPT to grade them. I wonder how they did. ChatGPT grading ChatGPT. You know, it does. It can't tell. So ChatGPT, you can prompt ChatGPT, write an essay. Here's the prompts, the outline that I need.
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And then you can say, will you please correct this or make it to where it's undetectable by other AI? And then it can correct it that way, too. There's all these articles, all in the headlines this week. People are cheating their way through college. Oh my gosh. So you can tell chat GPT not to be detectable. Yes. That's crazy. And here's the thing.
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Yeah. You know, I just think people are crazy people. And lonely and maybe this guy. I don't know. I don't know the psychology behind all of it. I'm trying to crack the case on these MAGA voters. And I mean, I think that these things might all be linked anecdotally. We're accumulating quite a bit of evidence to things like this. But I just don't know. I don't know.
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If you're in college and you're going out partying, getting all liquored up and you forgot to write your essay and you get back home and all you have to do is say, hey, write a book and write a report on the Civil War. Here are the parameters. Make sure it's not detectable by, you know, as as being identified as A.I., written and then it can prompt it and then you turn it in.
I've Had It
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There's no question. I mean, there's just no question that this. So I think what I've read is that. So similarly, when the calculator came out, what that did to, you know, mathematics courses. And so that they're going to have to figure out education. People, teachers, professors are going to have to figure out a way to integrate AI because it's here. Right.
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And they're going to have to figure out a way to integrate it with human involvement to make sure the students actually learn what they're supposed to learn. But here's the thing. Does AI do away with a big bulk of creative writers? Does it destroy a big bulk of creative writers, musicians, et cetera, et cetera? I mean, are we ready for all of that?
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So in summary, analyzing, doing a psychological analysis on manipulators and psychopaths in your life. Perfect. I love that. In a pinch, want to go to a party and get all liquored up. Done the majority of your papers, but it's like, eh, everybody else is doing it.
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Pull up to it. But then there's going to be this fine line as AI keeps flooding and flooding us, what is helpful and what isn't. Right, what's harmful. Yeah, harmful, exactly. Okay, Kylie, what do you have next in store for our listener today?
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I don't know if it's better to live in like a New York where you forego personal space and everybody just accepts that you all have to invade each other's space but nobody talks to one another and you don't have to do all of this.
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I think, Kylie, you couldn't have picked a better call for what we just discussed about lesbians masquerading as asexuals. I mean, that was just like serendipitous. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that she has a really valid point. Totally valid. You know, Dylan, my son that just graduated from Syracuse, he has this friend who he graduated with. Her name is Mary and she's like a TikTok famous comedian.
I've Had It
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Right. So she comes into Oklahoma City last weekend to do a comedy show. And she was telling me she met up with this guy in Brooklyn. And it was like the crunchy, cool part of Brooklyn where it's just assume you're liberal, blah, blah. And he's talking about like how he thinks Ella Imhoff, she is the stepdaughter of Kamala Harris. And she has a knitting group.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And they were talking about how that's cool. And if they ran into her in Brooklyn, that would be cool. Well, they end up doing a little slap and tickle. And then it's revealed later that he's maggot. Oh, gosh. So he cosplayed being a liberal to get laid. But he's really maggot. So Mary was just she was just a wreck about this.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I'm like, well, I mean, Mary, this is where, you know, this is a problem because you just can't unfuck somebody. Right.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
your stat you know and that's one of the hardest things of young adulthood is realizing you can't unfuck people you know get all liquored up something happens can't unfuck them no and then you see them and you're just like oh my god why did I do that the extra layer would be you got trick fucked into MAGA that would be bad
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I think you could fall prey to that in the heterosexual community in Oklahoma City. That's why I think the lesbian community in Oklahoma City might be a little bit more politically warm waters for you.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You don't have expectations of other people because you know if you're passing somebody on the subway steps or on the street, you could brush shoulders and it's just accepted. And then you get out to middle America where we live and then there's this layer of – We need to be even more distant.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Trap. Trap. That is a really, really good one. Her talking about the lip filler. So when Josh and I were at the Thunder Game the other night, Josh says, one of my favorite things to do right now is to find these girls. So they're in their late 20s, early 30s and look at their lip filler because every girl that age has lip filler and they have the exact same artificial.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
lip puff and these girls that were sitting in front of us kind of turned around he goes that's what i'm talking about and here it is here they are but it's true i think the problem with botox and fillers they're beneficial to people our age when they start too young then you can't tell how old somebody is right there are certain people
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
that you and I both know that I don't know if they're 35 or 65. And the sad thing about that is if you dig a little deep, they're 35. Right. And so to be mistaken at 35 for 65 or that three-decade expanse being somewhat ambiguous is problematic for the 35-year-old.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I almost think it's better just to live in a populated place and just know that our cars are going to be next to each other. Our shoulders are going to be next to each other. And then you don't have these expectations where people are going to disappoint you because people always deliver on disappointing.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
She's spot on about the entitled pedestrian. Yes. And they are ubiquitous in parking lots. Recently, Josh and I were pulling out of a parking lot and there is like a couple and our lights, our car lights are on them. So that is a signal. Combine that with the humming engine.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
That you either need to move to the right or to the left and that perhaps handholding and grandstanding in the center of a fucking parking lane when a car with its lights on an engine humming is inching closer and closer to you. That is not the time to slow it down. That is not the time to pump the brakes. That is the time to put your foot on the accelerator and move to the right or to the left.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
or move to the left. But entitled pedestrians in parking lots, I'm so glad she brought this up because it is a huge problem. Furthermore, entitled pedestrians at crosswalks, if you are, it's like it counts down. And you're thinking, I've got three seconds to cross. I'm going to go. That means you've got to jog. You've got to run.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You don't get to walk really slowly at a three second countdown and you have to cross the entire street. That means you put the pedal to the metal, get your resting heart rate up and scuttle across because we all have to live on this planet together. But the entitlement that I see in these pedestrians that think that the entire lane is for them. Oh, there's another one.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Dog walkers in my neighborhood. You don't get to walk in the middle of the street, especially when a car is coming. Agree. You have to either hug the curb or hop up onto the grass on the side of the curb. You can't just grandstand in the center with your dog. Number one, it puts your dog's life at risk. What if that dog did a jumpy little thing?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I'm always dodging all of these women that walk their dogs and men. I have to say there's a lot of men that walk their dogs in the middle of the day in my neighborhood as well. And they're walking their dogs and they're not picking a lane. They're not hugged up to the curb. So I have had it up to my eyeballs with entitled pedestrians.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
If you cannot have cat-like reflexes when you're on foot around moving vehicles, you need to get in a wheelchair or do something different because you have to be able to move quickly and respond quickly to the cars who have the right-of-way.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah. They really are. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. So listener pumps knows, and I'm sure many of you longtime listeners know that my favorite show is Curb Your Enthusiasm. My favorite actor slash comedian is Larry David. I have a framed photograph of him on my desk downstairs in this here very office.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And then regarding your grievance about white women, here's what I'm going to say. There are a lot, even like in Oklahoma City, we have these amazing friends that have started groups to try to help women that need abortion care. And sometimes they're just not as loud because the loud MAGA women are just so obnoxiously loud. It gives the rest of us a bad name.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
But fundamentally, I will say that there is an inherent problem with a portion, a large portion of white women that enjoy the benefits of the work that the suffragettes and others did on their behalf to be able to vote, to be able to have a credit card, to be able to own a home, to be able to get a no-fault divorce. And that seems to be lost on them.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I mean, first and foremost, Drew, I'm going to tell you right out of the gates. That is a lot of performance. How somebody Stanley Cup runs dry during a midday meeting is pathetic. I'm going to take it further and start a conspiracy theory. I think she did the whole thing on purpose. This is performative hydration. She put on a performance at the meeting.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
When my children swing by my office, they always point out that I do not have a framed picture of them on the desk, that I have a framed picture of my dogs and of Larry David. So needless to say, I really, really love this man. So accordingly, I follow on social media some Curb Your Enthusiasm accounts.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
She dramatically unscrews the cap, grabs two bottles, showing reckless disregard for the sole reason that you even have a Stanley cap, which is allegedly to save the environment, which we've blown the whistle on because these fetishists that collect these Stanley caps, they don't stop at one.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
They have to have 20. They wait in line overnight. They camp in tents to get in a Target to buy them. These people are just as whacked out as all the Burning Man nuts, right? More so because at least at Burning Man, they're going for art or something that they believe in or to have sex with people and cuddle or do something. The Stanley Cup, I don't even understand at all.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And so I think it was all staged. Yeah. I think it was a stage, much like RFK staged that bear homicide in Central Park. I think this is freak flag. And I think she's flying it. And I think the entire thing was performative hydration theater.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
But I mean, she's trying to hide it from Drew, I think. The thing about MAGA is there's two types. There's the loud and proud, and then there's the slightly embarrassed that drops breadcrumbs. And you're probably right about his boss. She's dropping little breadcrumbs to mention RFK Jr. and to guise it about health.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Meanwhile, when Michelle Obama had a campaign for people to eat healthy, everybody called her a communist. But this nut... RFK Jr., who looks like hammered dog shit at all times, does not even remotely look like a beacon of physical health. Have you noticed all these men in the Maha movement, Make America Healthy Again, like Joe Rogan?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I'm not saying we look great because we all know we're hammered dog shit. Right. But Joe Rogan. RFK Jr. and others, they look kind of like over tanned and steroided up a bit.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And here's the thing. I just have a real problem with people that did not attend medical school and whom are not scientific researchers. weighing in on what they believe to be fact. You see this a lot with fitness trainers about diets and all of these things. And you see this a lot with all of those creatine guys, which is surprisingly something really bizarre to reveal to you.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So Josh, you know, he has a trainer. Y'all have the same trainer.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So he goes to his trainer and about a year ago I noticed he's putting something in his coffee and I'm like, well, what is that? And so it's like creatine. So he's like a creatine bro, right? So then he's working out. He's lifting weights all the time because Josh is, you know, like if he plays tennis, he buys 95 tennis rackets. He plays six times a day.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So this one particular account I follow, and I've followed for years, called Curb Your Larry David. I've seen every episode two to three times, but it's just always fun when they cut them up and you get a one to two minute hit on one of Larry's grievances or spin on something. It brings me joy and it makes me happy.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
If he's working out, he buys creatine and he's training two hours a day, you know. He's sober, so we're happy about these addictions as opposed to Oxycontin and others. But so now he started thirst trapping a bit on his stories. Have you noticed this? I have noticed. I've spoken with him about it. So I noticed – so the creatine I noticed and then he – and it has been a full body transformation.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I mean there's no question he has more muscle tone and stuff than he's had before. So he's like – I noticed on Instagram maybe a month ago that we're doing pull-ups – I saw it on an Instagram video. And then there was some other ab thing that he was doing. So I guess and he's as liberal as could possibly be. I mean, there's he's more liberal than you and I are, which is hard to imagine.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And so I guess, you know, you can't judge a book by its cover, but he's he's kind of in on this, you know, the racket of the creatine. And then, oh, and then he's got always got all these protein shakes he's drinking. You know, you know, there's always you can't just exercise and just eat food. There's always some 95 supplements and all these rackets attached to it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I just it's always like this, this exploitation of capitalism on something where it's just Eat well. If you eat bad one day, eat good for two or three days after that. Exercise. But it always turns into this big identity thing. Right. With merch and products and supplements, creatine, thirst trapping online. It's just not something that people can just do, which brings me to my tennis career.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I think Josh has a point. Like... If he feels good about it and he's 56 and he's been to drug rehab five times and, you know, let's face it, at one point he was puffed up like Elvis Presley right before Presley's death. Drugs and alcohol puffed him up like a goddamn bubble tick. Not 20-year-old Elvis. Right. Yeah. We're talking tail end. You know, right before the O.D.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And so and then he gets sober and restores, you know, his law practice. Things are good with us. Things are good with the kids. And he wants to thirst trap. And you and I are such fucking assholes. Always on here. Just total cunts. Always beating everybody down. Like we're talking about the girl who Kylie posted on our Instagram, the girl who I'm 48. This body's been through so much.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Where over the course of the last two to three months, I'm on my Instagram feed, and all of a sudden I notice like a... what appears to be like an only fans model. And then like all of a sudden the pants are on and then they're off. And it's like this, it's like the splash thing. Like, so then I go and look like, what account is this? And it's Curb Your Larry David.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And we just kind of got read in the comment section like this. So what? Let her brag about her body bubble. And you know what? They're right. Also, it's kind of fun to be petty. It is. It's kind of fun to have it both ways. Yeah. Because these are not big issues. These are little issues. These are issues that you have when you don't have to fight for your rights. Right. These are.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Well, democracy is assumed. White people issues, one could argue. And so, but I mean, you know, it's fun to browbeat Josh. You know, it's one of our favorite hobbies. But all in all, when I take away all the five family weeks that I had to go to and the narcissism and all the skin care products, the hair care products and all of the stuff that goes, the hypochondria with being Josh Welch's wife.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I hear it like when you said it, I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's worked out. If he wants to thirst trap on a story, it's his fucking story. Post it. Right. And I agree with that. I agree with that too.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Don't listen to us. No one said we had a brain. I don't know why people take us so seriously.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You're the greatest legal mind, but you didn't know what a fucking loophole in the law was earlier.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Oh, I didn't pass it the first time. Yeah, I took it twice. Fail. Yeah. And I'm wondering if when you were filling in all the holes, the first time. took it. If you were being a slut, thinking about vaginas. Maybe that's what happened. Maybe that's what happened. Could be that I didn't study. I unleashed a sexual capitalized hole in the next thing you know.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Fill in the correct capitalized hole, went to shit right there. Oh my God. Loop hole. And you thought about a vagina.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Kylie, I have nothing to say. When you saw that, did you as a lesbian think about the whole being a vagina?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
All right. That's kind of what I thought. Listener, please weigh in in the comments section. When you saw that chat GPT search and you saw whole initially, I was kind of speechless because I was shocked that America's greatest legal mind didn't have more input on that.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I'm glad we've circled back, pulled that out of the parking lot, gotten to the deep, dark bottom of it because the deep, dark bottom of it is a dirty mind. I think I have a 12-year-old boy's mind.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I'm like, well, they must've been hacked. by a cabal of prostitutes or something because I don't know what's going on here. Well, as I keep digging into it, I don't know if he's selling the space for OnlyFangirls or if the owner of this account is promoting OnlyFangirls, but it's the biggest bait and switch I've ever been involved in my entire life. For years, I followed this account.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
All right, listener. I finally did it. I brought the book. Please order our book. The link is in the bio. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. On the back is a beautiful portrait of Pumps and me taken by one Kiki the Magic Woman. Lesbian. Lesbian. And let me just, there's so many wonderful things in this book about the history of Mind Pump's friendship.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And it's a story of hope and perseverance. Yeah. It's a real profile and courage for the two of us that we made it this far. So please order it so our publisher will be happy. It's actually very lovely and you'll enjoy reading it. My son Dylan just recently read it. He quite enjoyed it. Yeah, he said he did. All right.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
For years, I've double tapped and liked and even commented on these clips of Curb Your Enthusiasm. And now it's basically an OnlyFans page. And they'll post like four or five OnlyFans things. And then there's a clip of Larry. And it's just the schizophrenia. And I don't know what to do about this. I mean, part of me wants to unfollow.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And then the minute I think unfollow, then they roll out with a banger of a Larry David clip. And so I'm just stuck in here. I mean, I think I'm going to unfollow. But has this happened to you?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And it says like, I sure do love Misty. She sure is fantastic. And she's like an OnlyFan. So she's promoting her. Yes. And I just think like this would be an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It would. You know that you follow this account. You're all chips in on it. I don't really follow any OnlyFans accounts. If you do, I'm not going to sex shame you, whatever, whatever gets you off.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I don't care. But to marry these two things, curb your enthusiasm with advertisements for OnlyFans pages, it just seems like I've been hoodwinked. And it seems like I followed this account. I I even shared to my story this account. I double-tapped almost every video. I commented. I did engage. I did everything right.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And now you're rolling out these OnlyFans things, and the two just don't go together. Why not start a separate page?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Larry is a white man that's in his 70s and a cranky Jewish comedian. And then to then jump to this, you know, OnlyFans page. It's the weirdest. It's the weirdest thing. thing ever. And recently my nephew Joey texted me and he said, have you noticed that Curb Your Enthusiasm like page that we've all followed forever is now an OnlyFans page? And I was like, I don't know what is going on.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And he said that other accounts are apparently doing this too. I guess that the thing is like this account has over 600,000 followers. So you can monetize that volume of this OnlyFans person can say, hey, if you promote my page, you know, I'll pay you five grand or two grand. I don't know how much it is, but I'm just, you know, that's just arbitrary number guess.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
But anyway, I just think it's wild. And I've had it with that because, you know, then, then I'm like, I see it and I'm like, this isn't something I would just Google on my own. Right. And here it is in my page. But anyway, welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie, have you seen this? I have. Yeah. People will sell out. Okay, so tell us what you know about this.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
No, it'll be like, it'll be like two OnlyFans and then it'll be like three Larry Davids. So it keeps the fan base in. But the first time I saw it, I was so like, I'm mentally, it says Curb Your Larry David. And then it's like these, like it's an image of a girl. And then it flashes real fast to where all of a sudden her pants are on, then they're off and they're back on again.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Like you get a little peekaboo of the ass or something like that, right? And so I'm like, I think I'm like in an airport. This thing pops up on my feed and people are sitting next to me. And I look like some big lessee pervert perving out on OnlyFans in the airport lobby. No offense to lessee perverts. I support you. But it's just not something that I would have typically had in my feed.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I felt very betrayed by the account. I think they even follow me back. So now I'm in this position. We followed each other. We had a love for Larry David. And now I look like a horndog lesbian at Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City because of this shit.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I think you just type in OnlyFans. And I mean, I think the porn component of the Internet is quite large and quite accessible. Well, that's probably right. Yeah, even for people at your advanced stage, I think you could crack it in about five seconds.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
True that. She would. Okay, Kylie, speaking of horndog lesbians, how are you today? I'm good. I'm good. And PR, if you have any HR, if you have any HR complaints, you can send those to the HBIC, the head beaver in charge and our legal counsel. And she will address any issue with me calling you a horndog lesbian. We will note it in your file and in my file.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And we will have it forever in the permanent record. We will just keep it noted. Yep. Noted. Yep. Okay. Kylie, what is going on on the internet? What do people say about pumps in me?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I mean, the thing about Pumps and the... Little League situation is, I mean, Pumps really loves baseball and softball. I love it all. Like immensely. Like it's always kind of mystified me. And I, listen, all props to all softball players. I personally. just find the sport rather boring to watch baseball and softball.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And Pumps is such a hardcore softball fan that I believe it was around two or three years ago, the University of Oklahoma softball team was doing some sort of an event at a hotel in downtown Oklahoma City. Pumps being like a total fangirl goes down to this hotel and the players is a college softball players walk by and she's screaming like, go get him. Jocelyn knows them all by their first name.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And she is like a diehard softball plan fan. Which for many, that among many other reasons, led me to believe for a period of time and personally still believe that she could be lesbian leaning. Oh, which I needed to talk to you about this. I was talking to Whitney. Okay. Whitney, my tennis friend. Whitney shot out Oklahoma City Tennis Center with Whitney Ritchie.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So it seems to me like you can have personal space invaders that can invade your personal space, but your car too can have a space invader. Oh my gosh, that's exactly, exactly what it is. Car space invaders. Yes.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So there was a state tournament that my son was playing in over the weekend, tennis tournament. And I'm talking to Whitney and she says, does pumps work? And I said, no, she's asexual. Whitney, an out-of-the-closet lesbian, said, you know, I always thought I was asexual until I made out with a woman.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yes. And other lesbians have reported same. So I just wanted us to talk about that. Kylie, have you heard of this?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You have sex with a man with an extraordinarily like micropenis.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
We're scraping the bottom of the barrel here reporting all this MAGA shit. You know, it's just awful. I mean, it's really a patriotic thing that you could do and really proving your allyship.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You know, the logistics. Let's ask a lesbian. Kylie, could you please expand on how one would have an affair with a lesbian?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So let me ask you this. Like the idea of dating anyone, period, just not.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
This is the same psychology of if you go into a doctor's office and there's nine chairs available and you pick a chair and then the person comes in and they sit kind of like in your sight line or next to you or right across from you when they could have chosen another place to sit. And that drives me crazy.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I mean, I support that. I think the whole, like you have to have a partner or you have to have a spouse or you have to date somebody. We talk about the pressure that people put on kids when you're getting married, when you're having kids. But another one is, are you dating anybody? Why aren't you dating anybody? And if you're completely happy, You know, you go to movies by yourself.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
So last night, half... Okay, first of all, I want to say I'm a hypocrite because my Christmas lights went up this weekend. They're on my house. Before Thanksgiving. Before Thanksgiving. I fucking suck. Right. I own it. Right. But I noticed half of my Christmas lights went off after a while. And part of me didn't even want to tell him because I just don't want to have the communication.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
What's sad is they have to do a research project and publish it for people to believe it.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Okay. I'll start saying I'm a Leo because I am an Aquarius and you start saying you're an Aquarius and we'll see what the different responses are. I feel like we just had somebody talking about astrological signs the other day and we were both just like,
I've Had It
We Are So Back
So like I should be on a billboard like coming out of a vagina? Like jumping out of a vagina? Is that what you're thinking? Is that where your head goes? I mean, that's what I'm thinking. That's where your head went.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I could have like an eagle on my head too, like an eagle costume. Yes. And it could be 3D. I'd want it to be 3D.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
But I broke down. And I did it. And you know how many conversations we've had via text just this morning? Seven. Just so many questions. And I'm like, here's the deal. My lights are white. I want you to plug them in. I want them to be on a timer. I want them to work. That's it. That's the list. I don't want any grand, like, you know, sleigh bells coming down my chimney. Nothing. I just want that.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Ooh, I like that. Yeah. See, that's the creative part of this. Yeah. Do you remember when she was talking, it reminded me, do you remember when our kids were little? We had that law firm that both lawyers would jump into the pool completely dressed and say, call us. And then they jump in the pool totally clothed. And I always thought, who fucking calls these guys?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
But then I found out a lot of people do. As bad as what she's making it sound like and as crazy as it sounds and unserious as it sounds, I have read research that supports those kind of ads get people in. Oh, yeah. So meet Kurt and Meemaw coming out of the vagina, eagle hatching out of an egg. I'm probably going to set the world on fire.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
You know, it's funny. I wore that shirt the other day to pick up my dog. And somebody said, I like your shirt.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, just wonder if we can make the billboard have a sound. Yes. Why not? Why not? We can do anything. I really, will you promise me it'll be 3D? I just really want my...
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That's where it needs to be. And I could be like, it could be like the vagina opening and me coming up. Yes.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And I can't have it. And now I'm in a position where I have a full blown relationship with my Christmas light person. So yesterday I'm driving into my neighborhood and the neighbor that I got the Christmas light person for, I rolled down the window and I'm like, why do you hate me so much? And he's like, what are you talking about? And I go, I'm using your Christmas lights guy. And he goes, oh,
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yeah, I do have that problem. Luckily for me, I have allies in my family that will also be there. But I think for me, I'm just going to plaster a smile on for a couple hours, leave, exhale, and be done. Because if I had other ideas, I would tell you. But that's the only thing that has come to mind so far. Although I'm really...
I've Had It
We Are So Back
So what does that do to the relationship? Oh, I don't think there's any question that it causes distance. And it adds a layer of superficialness that you otherwise would hope not to have in a relationship. But it's so deeply felt for me and the hurt.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And the closed-mindedness is such kind of a character flaw issue for me that if I really sit down and think about it, it would make me not even want to go. Right. But, you know, it's something I have to make a conscious choice to have a superficial yet distance, news, weather, sports type relationship. But I don't think there's any question that it absolutely affects relationships. Yeah.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Oh, my God, my wife was going to call you. I mean, he is just on you, on you, on you. I was like, I know you can't get away from it. I mean, it is the biggest overcommunication and I've had it with overcommunication, especially about something that just doesn't take a lot of communication.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Right. And you have to get a family... Your family of origin, you're always going to have, but you get to choose with love and friendship your family as you grow as an adult. And that, you know, you just have to be really careful about that, I think.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Right. I mean, it's, you know, it's like, go to Sunday school, and from the church pew, you're texting on the gay hookup act.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Here's the deal. OK, switching gears on that. on the dating app, not showing your face. Don't you think that if you don't show your face, it's kind of a catfish or am I taking it too far?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
We got to stick together. We got to move forward. No pre-surrender here. We've got the blue tipped hawk. Blue wing talk, but whatever. Whatever. We have a bird. Cassie, Jessica.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Oh my gosh, that is a great, great connection because you're 100% right. It's far less dangerous for the Australian breakdancer.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
No, that's great. I mean, that's really something to think about. Stick with me for more hot takes. I mean, sharpest tool in the shed, for sure. And love Australia, love the accent, love the offer to get in the bunker with her. So good.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Especially when the directions are as clear as the nose on my face. I just, I don't know why we have to go so many details on a subject I can't add to. I have no help. Just like, I mean, you know enough to be dangerous about building a house. I don't know shit about Christmas lights. I know. They're on a timer. You plug them in. That's it. Why is my input necessary?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That would be the best idea I've ever heard. Yeah. Maybe then he'd run away and hide from me. Yeah. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Okay. What I've had it with is over-communication. And I know we've touched on this before, but this is so real. So my Christmas light guy, I've had three in-person meetings. I've had five telephone calls. I've had texts. Now I'm hiding in my house when he comes over. I have had sex with people that I communicated with less. Fuck, I've had three kids with somebody I talk to less than this person.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yeah. You know, what's interesting about that whole thing when you were saying that is. Trumpers and Republicans say Democrats are elitists and they want to talk about how smart they are. And it's like, but then you just serve up on a silver platter, something that's so objectively stupid. It's like, of course, we're going to fall into that trap because you make it too easy.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Did it sound like she thinks she'd have to be drunk to talk like we do is what I took from it.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That's what I took from it. Like you could only behave the way we behave if your ship face struck.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yes. Thank you very much. And I just want to say, I feel for her on the out dramatic daughter because I have the single most dramatic human in the history of the world is my daughter. And it's trying at best. Okay. Who's next?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Swing for the fences because you got to get both of these wrists together. That's right. Can't do it. I just want to bring it. Can I just bring up one thing? Yeah. So we had a live show in New York city this last weekend. And Jennifer, I want to ask you, how many people did we meet that said in a shocked, shocked manner? Oh my gosh, you're actually pretty.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Wait, wait, wait. I have to push back there. Your husband was a yak mouth, the end all yak mouth. Right, but I completely ignored it. Right. I just totally ignored it. This person is demanding answers. And I'm like, we're not cracking the atom. I just want the Christmas lights on my house.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Right. I mean, they kept coming and it was like 10 in a row that said it. And Jennifer and I caught each other's eyes and we were like, fuck, we are un-telegenic. Or Kylie is a complete asshole.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yes. Everybody's got one, apparently. Yeah. Not just Trump. I like it. Yeah. I just couldn't let that go unsaid. Okay.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, she just, it's the double down lying when you know you're lying. Yeah.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Okay, good. This is, and you're on record. I'm calling out in real time. Okay, good. Let me see. I can't see.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is bad fucking drivers. So on my way to work this morning, there's a car that is so behind. So you're behind the slowest car in your lane. The other lanes are passing like crazy. So I get over and I too am going to pass. And that person decides to speed up immediately. Blocking me from passing.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I agree. And the through line, when we get death threats, it comes through Fox News a lot of times. Like if they mention our podcast on Fox News, that's when we get all these death threats. Also when Andrew Tate tweeted us. That was the worst of the worst. And Andrew Tate.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
But it's like what is so hard to reconcile – I mean it's not really hard, but on the surface it's hard – is these are all the people that would say if you looked in their bios – Peace, love, and Jesus. We are Christians. Support our Christian this and Christian that and our values. But yet you have no problem saying you want people to be raped and you hope they kill themselves.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I'm like, you haven't cared how slow you're going this entire time. Everybody's passed you. But now since I was directly behind you, you're going to be a big tough guy. Had it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, that's what I was told my entire life. I mean, there was just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And then you start... I think the most damaging thing for me in my personal experience was the lack of critical thinking, was the ability to deny reality in favor of what I wanted to believe it was and not examine...
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
every situation that I was in at face value, but going to, well, I'll pray about it and it'll fix it. That'll fix it. That, that's what affected me the most. And then the, I'm entitled. It's okay for me because nothing bad can happen to me because I'm a good Christian girl. You know what I mean? So, I mean, it's all insidious and the recruiting is taught from a young age.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I'm sure the six year old or the sixth graders mom was like, Oh, my gosh. Little little Tammy. She did such a good job. I'm so proud of her. You know, she probably told her Sunday school teacher the whole night like that is applauded. That kind of behavior is applauded.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I think it sums up in the phrase moral superiority. Yeah. They believe they're morally superior. Well, this was an uplifting intro. I know. I was going to say, this sounds more like an IHIP news than a I've had it. All right. Kylie, what do you have on store for us today?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I think it's great. Oh, you know what I need to do is like dress up in sequins and do a little tagline like Angela D. Beaver.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, and it's very dependent on if I'm in a hurry or not, or if I'm just, you know, no problem, don't have to be anywhere on time. My level of anger at the drivers in front of me. But this particularly made me mad because when I'm going slow... And somebody passes me. I'm like, oh, you need to speed up. They've sent you a signal. You need to take it. Humble yourself and take it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, that's exactly how it rolls. Like it's not a situation where I'm breaking up with you because of how you voted. I'm breaking up with you because you're immoral. Racism's either you're in it or you don't care that other people are, that you don't value humans. And I think fundamentally it comes down to, and I think this is everywhere. If it doesn't affect me personally,
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I don't care if it affects somebody else. That's fine. It has nothing to do with me. I've been that person. So I get it. But that is fundamentally such a huge problem.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, and you know what I've noticed is like, I, I can't even tolerate people like in Teslas, which I understand people are, you know, it was a good thing in the beginning to buy a Tesla. Now Elon Musk's crazy. And I love to see the fall of Tesla. People, you know, not buying Teslas. We have the lady that owns our dog school. One of her best friends has a Tesla. She loves it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
This person, no, they just rammed up. It was so rude. Rude, rude, rude.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
She was on back order for the sticker of, I bought this car before Elon Musk was crazy. I guess that's the big sticker people are putting on it. She turned it in over the weekend. She's like, I can't live with myself in a Tesla. I just can't because people immediately assume I'm an asshole. And I was following somebody on the street yesterday. It was a brand new Tesla.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I thought that motherfucker's evil. I mean, the hate that drives up in my mind. It's hard.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
It's just awful. It is. It's terrible. And the guy singing Jesus Love Me, he does that on purpose and he should immediately be removed from – I mean, like the gene pool, he should be segregated by himself. Gross, gross, gross.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Every time you say that, I'm like, oh, my God, she's right. You know, I mean, that's just so you have to keep it going. You have to keep it going or you realize, oh, my God, this is all bullshit. Now we know why the six-year-olds send in those texts. Yeah. Or sixth grader. My bad.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Right. The bishop that spoke at the inaugural breakfast. She'd get run out of Oklahoma. No, she would not be welcome in Oklahoma. That would just not be okay. Plus, she wasn't hellfire and brimstone like rah-rah, rah-rah enough. She wasn't talking in tongues. She wasn't talking in tongues.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Oh, yeah, it happens all the time on this point specifically. OK, so I, as you know, I'm older than Jennifer a lot. And so my friends are starting to become grandparents. And I can't tell you how many conversations that I've had where they're talking about, well, should I be called this or should I be called that? And I'm like, why aren't you just called whatever the kid calls you?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Like, I thought that's how it worked. But there's a lot of narcissism in grandparent names nowadays, which was not a thing. I mean, I just called... I was the only child on my dad's side, only grandchild. So I just called my grandmother what the words I could say that I called her. And that was it. Like there wasn't any, okay, now we're going to sit down. You're going to call us memes.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And this is how it's going to be. There was none of that. It was just like, and it just evolved. But now they're really, and it bugs the shit out of me because my kids always say, we're going to make our kids call you pumps. I love that. They should. Well, but I feel like that's a hard name to pronounce. It's going to end up being Popeye.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Just wanted to slide that in. And Jesus was not white. Right. Like she said, he probably couldn't get admission in the United States right now.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. I mean, come on now. I think that's where the not believing in science that probably can trickle it all the way back to there. It's just been magnified under.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. And one other thing, since we're on the subject, I don't want my daughter to die because of your religious beliefs about her reproductive care. I agree. I don't. Yeah. I mean, it's just it makes no sense to me why women are dying for somebody else's religious beliefs. I just don't get it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah, the backseat driving, first of all, it's hard to not backseat drive when you've had kids that you're teaching to drive. But when adults do it to me, it makes me crazy. But I know on the flip side, I make my kids crazy because they regularly point that out to me. I had to correct you the other day because you almost ran over a pedestrian.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, and we're in Trump's America. We're going to have to blow off steam.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, I thought of something and then I forgot it. Because I can't, my head, I'm the worst. I'm getting old. I had a great thought. It was so brilliant. That's why I didn't jump in because I thought maybe you had something to say. Sometimes it just drops out of my brain, right? Whereas I'm saying it. It's age.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I would have. And I typically, when something like that happens and I know it's my fault, I'm always like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, I'll own that I fucked it up. But here's my new thing with my kids. I grab the bar, but I don't say anything. That seems to enrage them even more. Like, I won't say, slow down. There's a red stoplight coming up. I'll just grab the bar.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And then they're incensed. The oh shit bar. I like calling it the oh shit bar. I've never heard that before. Oh, I've called it the oh shit bar for... Never heard you say that. A long time. I guess because my driving's so good.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I feel like As bad as I thought it was going to be, it's exponentially worse. And my expectations were super duper low. But you know what? You just got to keep pushing on.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, and having grown up and practiced Christianity before I got some critical thinking skills, the one thing as I look back and I survey the whole landscape of my life, I see that one thing that evangelical Christianity teaches more than anything else is you're better. You're entitled because you're a Christian.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And so you have a real callousness to the needs of other people because what happens to them can't happen to you because you're special. And so when you see that, and it's so gross to me now, I feel like it's more important for me now.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
to stand up and be strong and not waver because i was at one point brainwashed into that and i look back and that's what i it's an entitlement it's righteous judgment and it is mean-spirited and that makes me feel good that he is proud of us it makes me sad that he had to grow up that way
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
No. And that's the thing. It's in the moment you think you're absolutely going to do it. But so taking the time to actually do it, we appreciate it because I'm not great at it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. I don't think I've ever left a review. I think I've left a review on this podcast. For ourselves? For ourselves when the podcast was really, really young. And, you know, I have that email box for stuff that I buy that just all my receipts go to. I think I did it from that one because I didn't want my name to be on it. So I did a clandestine review of the podcast maybe in the first week.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah, I do think that I was nervous about someone seeing my name reviewing my own podcast. So I remember like thinking I was really cute doing the other one.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Kylie must be doing something she shouldn't be doing or she wouldn't have thrown out the man. Yes, ma'am.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, there's no better DEI podcaster than me. I have a great update on the beaver. Oh, okay. It is the animal of Canada. That makes me love it even more. That makes me happy that I'm Angela, the dawning of a beaver. The dawning of a beaver. Especially now in these turbulent times. You're an eagle beaver. Eagle-eyed beaver. I don't know how eagled I am.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I'm glad she lost her job. Here's the thing. She was emboldened by Trump's America. I completely agree with you. And there was nothing more MAGA about this situation than her lying about it. When everybody saw her at the restaurant, now she's saying, oh, poor me, I'm a victim. I mean, that's the most MAGA thing of all. That's a good point.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Remember on Fox, he would go crazy and he'd be like Obama and write communism and then start doing all of these. Have you ever seen him do that? I haven't seen him do that, but I did know Glenn Beck. It's hilarious. And so we could just go off doing that because I believe they're all linked. Well, they're all linked by crazy people. Okay.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Today, I have a couple of new stories I would like to share. with the listener pumps and Kylie. I thought this was really sweet. A love struck male humpback whale swims record breaking three oceans, 8,106 miles for sex. This was a very exciting find, the kind of discovery where our first response was that there must be some error.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
For the study, the researchers went through an extensive image database between 2013 and 2022 collected by the company Happy Whale. The whale was spotted in Colombia and later in the Zanzibar Channel. It mostly seemed to be a part of a competitive group vying for a female.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I think that probably these whales in Zanzibar, these females, they must have been really hot. I mean, this must have been some pristine whale vagine over there, you know? And so he was like, I'm going back over there.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
That's right. I like it. Go for him. Work for it. Okay. The next story is an MRI scan of dog's brain reveals dogs view their owners as family, which I've long believed. Again, the research is catching up with us because we're the ones who started calling our dogs our biological children. Now the scientists are catching up. Yeah. All right.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Emory University's MRI study on dogs found a strong emotional bond as they prioritize the scent of humans over other smells. This became notably clear when the... Caudate nucleus, the dog's brain reward center, showed more activation in response to the scent of familiar humans than to other stimuli.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
These results imply that dogs perceive their human owners as family as indicated by the parallel brain activation patterns in dogs and humans, particularly in response to emotional stimuli as highlighted in articles by Big Think and the Smithsonian Magazine.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
finder like you're trying to find an object finder it was like an object it was like a riffraff knickknack flea market on your screen and I noticed below you would have like a broom and a candlestick yeah and I sat there I paused my show and I sat there and watched you play your little game is that the game that you're talking about yes and I love it I have two I have like a
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Dogs really are. I mean, they are our family and cats and like our pets are our family. They are. Yes. Yeah.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Like for real. Yes. Okay. This is an interesting story. A Texas zoo lets you name a cockroach after your ex and feed it to an animal for Valentine's Day. The San Antonio Zoo offered a unique way to celebrate or curse Valentine's Day this year with its annual Cry Me a Cockroach fundraiser.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
For a donation, people were able to name a cockroach, $10, a rodent, $25, or even a veggie for $5 after an X before it became a snack for a zoo animal. Would you do this?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I, you know, I don't I don't know. I would support the zoo. I would you know what I would do. I would probably name it like after Ted Cruz or somebody like that. An ex, I don't like to empower like that. Do you know what I mean? No, I totally know that. But it's not like you're going to tell them. I know.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But even just the action of doing, I feel like I would be empowering them real estate in my brain that it mattered enough for me to spend money. To do it. Yes. I would rather it be, particularly this isn't Texas. Right. Everybody knows on this entire planet that the most unfuckable man is Ted Cruz. On planet Earth.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So if I'm on this zoo board, I would say what we're going to do is you can only name him after one person. Maybe you throw in that governor.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
He's such a dick. Yeah. You know, that guy's a total dick. He's all about like science anti-DEI stuff and he's in a wheelchair.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah. He sucks. He sucks. Okay. All right. Let's get off of that. We need to, we need to laugh today. So I'm going to read some grievances from some of the members of our Patreon. The first one is Allie. And Allie says, I've had it with people naming their children after themselves and then calling them junior. No, no. Quit being fucking lazy and figure out a name for your baby.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So this is a really good point. And I do know that like narcissists see their children as an extension of themselves. Right. Like that they're so great and so important. And then look at how, you know, this child, you know, I'm surprised that Elon Musk didn't name that little X, you know, the one that was humiliating Trump in the Oval saying, you need to shush your mouth. You're not the president.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
You know, here's the thing that I have to say is I think that there is just a complete sabotage that people are doing for their children. And they're giving their kids these stupid spelling names. Yes. And they are giving them weird names. And that kid has to live with that short-sighted, impulsive decision that you made where you wanted people to go, oh, no, I named my kid Angie, but I spell it
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
N-G-E-E with an apostrophe over the E so that you look so smart and clever in that short moment. But really, it's stupid.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Okay. Jordan says, and Jordan's nickname is Lamona. And she says, So it's not exactly a marker of greatness. Shut the fuck up. I'm not without any sympathy since I have a four month old of my own.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Of course, I personally think he's awesome, but I also don't feel the need to project grandiose wish fulfillment lies onto a tiny baby to cover up my own insecurities and shortcomings because I'm not a psycho. Pick me fishing for compliments and the envy of my neighbors. I love my baby, but he is currently an unintelligent, incoherent, adorable little bag of poop.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And that's about par for the course for the foreseeable future. I've had it with these pick me parents and family members trying to compensate.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I can't stand parents like this. I remember when Dylan was in kindergarten and Dylan is my and Josh's oldest. And I believe it's kindergarten. It could have been like the year right before pre-K or maybe it was kindergarten or first grade. I can't remember.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But they invited the parents to come to the school so that the kids could read to you and you could see how well they were doing with their reading. This must have been first grade. I think it was first grade. So Josh and I leave our offices. We go to the school. So the other kid starts and we all have to listen. And he's literally like, it's like he's reading War and Peace.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I mean, it's like he's not missing a beat. Everything's perfect. Everything's spot on. He's crushing it. Right. And I'm like, oh, my God, like this is not gonna be good because Dylan and I read at night. We're nowhere near this. Right. So then we get to Dylan and Josh and I just like inhale, exhale. And this other mom is looking at me smug as fuck.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I wanted to just, I wanted to take my middle finger and just flick her and go, calm down, you twat. But I didn't. I let her take her victory lap. So then Dylan reads and we're like, Like a first grader. Well, fast forward, you know, now they're both seniors in college and everything catches up.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
This kid, and I still know this kid, he's no more accomplished than Dylan is. Actually, Dylan is graduating on time with a double major. This kid just got one. And so people put all of this emphasis on this early development and that in actuality kids just develop when they get there. They do. Okay.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Next up is Lauren B. What I've had it with is when people I go out to dinner with don't allow the rest of the people at the table to eat their food until 20 photos of people's food have been taken. Yeah. It's always, let's take a picture of the cute brunch table. Instead of, this girl looks hungover. Let her take a bite of her damn bagel.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I've had it. I just, it's when I look at photography, looking at pictures of food, it's just not that interesting to me. No, it's just one of the downsides of a cell phone. Everybody thinks everybody cares about what they're eating. And I've been to dinner with these people. It's like, wait, wait, wait, I need to take a picture of the food. And I'm like, you're taking a picture of the food?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Like, what? And then when I see pictures of food on Instagram, I don't engage with that content because I don't want that content.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Oh, man, that's a tough one. Yeah. I mean, that's just a real, that's dicey. You know, originally when the first coffee art started, that was interesting because it was like, oh, wow, they made art with the foam. After about a week, I was tired of it. Right. I'd seen enough. I didn't need to see anymore. I didn't want to know anymore about it.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Well, I mean, here's the thing. I mean... I, now that you're 55, I don't want to engage in such flagrant elder abuse. Right. You know, I'm going to temper myself a little bit. I mean, you're playing this old lady riffraff knickknack game. You fall asleep, you're drooling. On the flight. And I thought, you know, I could really do something here.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And everybody knows that I feel like toddlers have ruined coffee shops altogether. And so I don't want to see coffee art. I don't want to see toddlers in coffee shops. And I love coffee. The photographing of food, unless you own a restaurant and you need to photograph your food.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Right. I have never, I don't think I've ever been out with people where they have said, let me show you a picture of the lunch I had yesterday.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
What if I was like, Pops, you're like, how are you? Oh, great. Let me show you an image of what I ate for dinner last night.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
All right. Lucy says, yard sales are leaving furniture out in your yard with a free stuff sign. No one wants your old couch covered in STDs. It's giving MAGA. Neighbors hate you and you're trashy.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
You can't just, I mean. I just I have such an aversion to flea markets right now because I perceive what the current convicted felon that some idiots in this country decided to be a good idea for him to be in charge of everybody. He has like this online flea market. Yeah. And I just any sort of riffraff, knickknack, used furniture, I just am out on all of it. Okay, next up is Crazy Wheels.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And she says, I've had it with gentle parenting and healthcare. No, your toddler can't consent to treatment in my clinic. So stop wasting my time asking them if they would like me to examine them. You're the parent. You sign the consent. I have other patients waiting. I can't sit here for 30 minutes while the child that chose you decides if they want to cooperate or not.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
This needs to be added to the toddler safety protocol. They aren't allowed to make medical decisions. Crazy wheels. This is right in our wheelhouse. That's like, makes me so happy. Let's just dive in to the, what the fuck?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
All right. Here's the deal, listener. We are advocates for toddler safety. Obviously. And within this advocacy, we have liked to identify children. places and situations where toddlers shouldn't be allowed. And now we need to expand this places where toddlers are not allowed to make decisions. Well, which you really shouldn't even have to say that. But we do. But we do.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Because this is the United States of stupidity. Yeah. So, all right. So we know that toddlers shouldn't go to coffee shops. Restaurants. That's my role. Airports. Hotels. Offices. Oval offices. Oval offices. That's a great one. And we could, you know, expand on malls. Malls. Yeah.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But in Trump's America, I'm going to be nice to my elders. Right. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. You're just a huge humanitarian. You know, when you look up on the high road, that's me up there. That's you up there. Yeah, just doing the Kendrick Lamar dance. Okay. Which actually was the lowest of the petty roads imaginable, which I could only aspire. Oh my God.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Grocery stores. Grocery stores. Yeah. Basically, they go to their house and their parents car and school. Outside of that, it's getting a little bit too dangerous. Right. In our opinion. But this and I think they should be able to go to the doctor's office, obviously. Right. Because they need to get vaccinated. But asking your toddler to consent to being examined is.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Is a level of titty baby bullshit that I didn't know existed until Crazy Wheels here just brought it to our attention.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
It's so stupid, too, because like if I had a toddler brain, I would never consent to any form of medical intervention because typically it's not pleasant. No. But your logical adult brain says, okay, I have to do this pap smear because I need to do pre-cancer screening and make sure everything's okay.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I have to go get my boobs smashed like they're in a car window for the next five minutes because I want to make sure I don't breast cancer. But if toddler Jennifer were deciding, I would opt out of all of that. I wouldn't do any of those activities. This is so stupid. These parents are stupid. These parents are stupid. I can't take it. I mean, I just hate that for her. Okay, Alana.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
People who were screaming about the COVID vaccine being unsafe, who have run out to get on Ozempic as fast as they can, no questions asked. Like, no hate for being on the weight loss drugs. I think they are a literal miracle. But come on, y'all. We see you.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
You know what's crazy is... I like COVID is so rearview mirror to me. Right. And I got the vaccines and I never think about it on social media. There is still there are still people who are like knee deep into the COVID shit like that. It didn't exist. That it was overblown. Mind you, one million Americans died. One million Americans died. And the vaccine helped us immensely.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But there's all of these people that are trying to prove that the vaccine causes all of these like heart attacks and strokes and all of these medical problems. And she's so right. Like these people want to cherry pick when they use science. They want to cherry pick like, okay, yeah, I don't want to take the COVID vaccine because I feel like then I'm placating to the libs.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But then when they want to get thin, it's, you know, GLP-1's all the way. I've had it. Had it. All right, listener, Pumps and I have entered a new phase in our relationship. And now not only are we best friends, but our dogs are BFFs. I mean, they love each other. So now Pumps and I talk about ways to enhance our dogs' lives. And one thing, one key ingredient to our pets' happiness is Chewy.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Chewy is the absolute best solution if you're obsessed with your animals. They offer pet prescriptions, pet insurance, telehealth vet visits, and they're even rolling out vet clinics across the country.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I would D I E. I love Kendrick so much. I mean, I just love Kendrick Lamar. Okay. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with my tennis instructor, Jeff. I love Jeff. I can't live without Jeff. Jeff and I have tennis sessions every day at lunch, as you know. And there was this session probably about three weeks ago and everything is happening correctly.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
They also have an auto-ship feature, and so you're never going to get that look from your dog that's like, I'm so disappointed in you that you ran out of my favorite treats. So you can have it auto-shipped so that your dog knows or your pet knows that you are the best pet owner imaginable. Listener, Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And right now, you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com slash Had It. That's Chewy.com slash Had It to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Chewy.com slash Had It. Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. Please see site for details. This episode is sponsored by Rowe.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Listener, do you want the fastest working GLP-1 for half of the list price? Rowe's got you. And I'll tell you what, pumps use Rowe. Pumps, tell them.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Listen, Row now offers FDA-approved weight loss vials for half the list price of auto-injector pens without applying insurance or savings cards. And with results, you can see faster. Weight loss, it's faster. Confidence, higher. Price, well, that's cheaper. Join the over 385,000 people who have already chosen Row to access GLP-1s. Go to row.co slash had it to see if you qualify.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
That's ro.co slash had it. Go to ro.co slash safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
15% weight loss is based on a study in non-diabetics with obesity or overweight with a weight-related condition on five milligrams of medication and when paired with diet and exercise, half the list price when compared to auto-injector pens and when paying cash without applying insurance or savings cards. Okay. Scott H says, Oh my God, I've had it with the way elderly people eat.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Each bite is a struggle. And then it's a lot of open mouth chewing and slopping noises, not to mention food falling out. Not sure if I've seen Meemaw eat, but I imagine it's in this style. Okay. I don't think it is yet, but I mean, it's probably getting there. All right, Scott H., and he also has a pride flag next to his name. Scott H., pride flag.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I want to tell you something that I've noticed about me, Ma. So when you're younger, boobs are tight, ass is tight, vag is tight. You're a guy, your balls are high and tight. Something that's never discussed ever, and I think we might be the first people to discuss this in the public forum. When you're younger, your teeth are tight. Yes.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And I've noticed in Meemaw as she's gotten older, her teeth aren't tight anymore. No. And she is always got a toothpick in her mouth after she eats. She says, ever since I've gotten older, I just, I have to use this toothpick because I have stuff caught in my teeth. Well, my husband is about the same age as Meemaw. And, um, He has the same situation.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So I realized nobody on the planet is talking about that your teeth aren't tight anymore as you get older. Because all these old people have all this food crammed in between their teeth.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I mean, at least you can tighten that up. So tell me about this retainer.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But yeah, I'm getting ready to get a retainer, Scott. What do you think is going to happen first, the retainer or the banks? Definitely the retainer. All right. Next up is Ali Escobar. I've had it with people stopping me with earbuds in, sunglasses on, and a full speed walking stride to pet my dog. Is he friendly? Bitch, I'm not. I've had it.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I am hitting my forehand. I mean, pro level. I'm brushing the ball. The form is perfect. I'm relaxed. I have the perfect kind of tennis grunt when I'm doing it. And fucking Jeff says, God, you're really hitting the ball great today. Every ball he hit me after that was a complete shank. Hits the net, goes out. It was a total catastrophe moving forward that he complimented me.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
All right. Chrissy S says, had it with these annoying wannabe momfluencers who called their toddler daughters, my little broke bestie on social media.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And guess what? 10 times out of 10, they are wearing a pearl bedazzled top knot headband and carrying a Stanley cap.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Wow. I mean, this took like... This is how you fucking land a jet airplane right here.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
First of all, she brought to our attention the momfluencers apparently in large numbers calling their... Daughters, my little broke bestie, a few things here. Number one, your toddler's not your best friend. Toddlers are the most incompetent portion of the population and capable of consistent, healthy relationships.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
They bite you, they hit you, they kiss you, they throw up on you, all within five minutes. Right. This is not a healthy relationship. You're basically guiding them to the age where they can develop their own friends. Right. And anybody who says that their child is their best friend or the child says, my parent is my best friend, run, run, run.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I remember that story. I love how Chrissy S. here ties this in, the broke little bestie, to the pearl bedazzled topknot headband wearing a Stanley Cup.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
It's so bad. I noticed a girl had a top knot headband on. By the time I got down and then through, and she could see me upstairs, you know, coming downstairs to the tennis courts. By the time I got downstairs and got on the tennis court, that top knot headband was off. You think she knew? I think she's probably seen a clip online and I think we're enacting change on a local level.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Boy, that's great news. She had on the headband and then she's like, oh my God, there's that awful podcaster that just brow beats the shit out of the stupidest stuff. And so she took that headband off.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
kind of like i mean i might that might be narcissistic of me to think that maybe that was an impact right i mean she already had a racket in her hand i was running a couple minutes like late and so oh she was in your group yes well a hundred percent then it was you the headband went off and went back in the tennis bag a hundred percent it was you okay last one uh Rena or Rayana?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I'm going to go with Rayana. R-H-E-A-N-N-A. I believe this Patreon member lives in the UK. And she says, I've had it with MAGA in Trump's America. If he gets to rename things, we should too. I'm renaming MAGA to represent our America. Meemaws and gays assemble.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And here's where I'm so fucked up. Sometimes we're rallying, right? And I'll hit a ball and it's fucking perfect. I nail him in the corner and I'm like, oh yeah, let's go. I put baby in a corner because we smack talk each other the whole time. And then he won't compliment me. And then I'm mad. And I'm like, hey, I'm insecure. I need for you to give me compliments on my tennis. Right.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Here's just one thing I want you to know about MAGA. You know how like. how, when you hear the Nazi and you hear Nazis and what a horrible implication that has, that is what MAGA is to us that have our eyes open. Right. And have critical thinking skills right now. But historically, the whole MAGA movement is heading to that direct fate.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And I'm hopeful that we can all get our shit together and protest and intervene. But I,
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
the that they want to do and the plans that they have for humanity are not good not good okay listen we have a sub stack we have a patreon we have merch we have a youtube channel we have a book coming out the end of may called life is a lazy susan of sandwiches and in this book we go in depth about how up we used to be juicy little read to be honest anyway pumps why don't you tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And then when he compliments me, I spiral completely out of control. You get dizzy with glee and you can't refocus on your tennis. I can't. I can't. You know, I have such a tortured relationship with... with tennis. It just, it tortures me. And when I arrive back at the office after my lunch break, my tennis sessions, if I've hit the ball well, I am a fantastic person. I'm a joy to be around.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But I mean, shout out to Jeff. I love Jeff. Jeff and I, I mean, we sit and smack talk like you would not believe. And here's what he does. And anybody who takes tennis lessons will understand this. I'm over on my side of the court, focused. My heart rate is through the roof. I'm sweating. I'm huffing, puffing. I'm sprinting to each ball.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I'm literally exerting every amount of physical energy and mental energy that I possibly can.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
that motherfucker it looks like he's so relaxed and he just glides over to these balls and then nails him back to me and then we'll have a long rally like maybe 20 balls back and forth I'm like oh yeah oh yeah I'm gonna get him and then all of a sudden and he's a pro he hits me this just clean winner just zinger right by me and I look at him I'm like what the fuck Jeff he's like
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Just because they have power and just because they're moving quickly does not diminish our desire to fight for human rights and social justice. And we will continue to do so on this here podcast. And, you know, our other podcast is twice daily political hits. This one is for us to laugh a little, bash a little. Or a lot. Yeah, or a lot. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah. He makes sure that I don't feel too good about my tennis game, which is a really good marketing strategy. Because you keep going back. Because I keep going back every day. And I have this... I mean, Jeff is really probably one of the most important people in my life, I realized, besides my French Bulldogs. I was going to say the French Bulldogs. And my children, like...
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Like, it's a very integral part, especially in Trump's America, being able to go in and hit balls and grunt really loudly. I think the grunt's key. Yeah. And I don't care who's in the tennis center. I grunt. It also reminds you to breathe. But anyway, I've kind of had it with Jeff, but I can't quit Jeff. I was going to say, you've had it, but you're not quitting him. I could never quit Jeff.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I'm going to hit it, but I'm never going to quit it. That's right. Because I love, love, love Jeff. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is a year older. I just rolled my eyes so hard.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Well, I mean, you know, I think that you're worthy of celebration. You are the star of our show. Yeah. And I want everybody in this community to wish Pumps a happy birthday. It was on Monday. Okay. She is 55, just older than me, but because she has crossed this threshold and she explained it to me accordingly. When you're 54 and lower, you can round down. Right.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But when you're 55 and higher, you got to round up. Right. And we all know for all of those I've had at Stan listeners, you know that we are now five years away from her cutting banks. Right. So close to bangs. Remember when she's 60. I'm rounding up to bangs. And so I'm going to lighten up on the elder abuse a little bit. Because you feel sorry for me. That almost makes it worse.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So do you want me to proceed? Yes. Just be normal. Okay. Because if you're not normal, that'll irritate me. Kylie. Hello? Kylie, a couple things. Number one. pertaining to our intro show. Do you know about these Finder games and what do you think the average age is of people that play the Finder games with the flea market on the screen?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Okay. And then I think you can attest to my mood swings relating to my tennis lesson.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
She's got the FFG coming in. I come in and I just feel like, I mean, like I just won an Olympic gold medal. I just walk in. Somebody asked me at the tennis center the other day, because I'm literally up there all the time and I'm running and I'm working hard. I leave drenched in sweat. I mean, there's no fucking around in these lessons, right? So this gal at the tennis center was like,
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gatriots, Vatriots. Listen up. In Trump's America, I know that a lot of our listeners are feeling worried, scared, stressed, angry, and all of those things. And everything and every bit of that is valid. And it is devastating how this administration has moved at such a rapid rate to further marginalize people. And it's
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
What are you training for? Because I'm up there all the time. And I looked at her and I said, absolutely nothing. That's why it's so enjoyable. Right. Because I'm training for absolutely nothing other than just to try to fuck over Jeff as hard as I can. And he always checks me and he always reminds me that he's better. He's the pro. Younger, smarter, faster, and all the stuff. Little twat.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But he lets you think for a minute that you're really doing well. All right, Kylie, what's going on on the internet regarding our podcast?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
We wear people down. Beat them down. Beat them down. Beat them down. Yeah. Wear them down. Yeah. Well, I would like to thank that listener for that comment. Because you know what? That just shows there's hope for two old broads, one older, like us, you know, to make an impact, to make a change on an individual case.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. You know, I've told you about my son Roman's rashes that he was getting on his arms. We thought it was like eczema or something. And a lot of people with that same problem found out that it's actually caused by their laundry detergent.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So my dermatologist suggested that we switch to something gentler. So I tried Earth Breeze. Oh, my gosh. Did it make the biggest difference? His rash is completely gone. Earth Breeze laundry sheets are hypoallergenic and dermatologists tested. So they're made to be gentle. No harsh chemicals or artificial dyes. Just a simple clean wash. And honestly, I noticed a huge improvement after switching.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Listener, if you're looking for a gentle hypoallergenic detergent, I definitely recommend EarthBreeze. Right now, you can get 40% off with your auto shipment at earthbreeze.com slash had it. Again, that's earthbreeze.com slash had it.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Right. See, I like what we're doing here. It's like, you remember in Homeland, the show with Carrie Matheson? Of course I remember. Right, where she has all of the charts. Yes. And it's like we have that wall, and we've got like bratty toddlers, Stanley Cups, and
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
OK, listener, we just got back from New York and on the plane ride home, I didn't say anything to you on real time in real time because it's more fun to talk about it with our listener. I did look down at your phone and I noticed you were playing this game and it was like this room with all this junk in it. Yeah, it's a.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
you know, poopy diapers, poopy diaper at showers, naming your kids, spelling your kid's name weirdly, and all of these things that lead to Trumpism. And one day for our YouTube audience, we should get a big blackboard and just go fucking crazy. Do you remember what was his name? Glenn Beck? Was he that one?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah. I actually took notes on an episode of the bullet points that she wants in a partner. Okay. And I would just love to read it to you and see who it sounds like. Okay. Number one, sex was on your terms. You didn't have to do it all the time. Right. Two, you want to keep your nighttime routine.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Three, you want to live alone. Four, they can't call you all the time. And the last one has a lot of red flags. Who does that sound like?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I'm going to read you two of them. So this one's five stars from Sunny. And she writes, I needed you both right when I found you. Caw, caw, clap. I think your lighting guy, Pumps, might be looking for a reason to come over. You light up my life, so why wouldn't you be lighting up someone else's?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah. All right. Who's next, Kylie? Okay. This one is five stars from Anthony. And he writes, listen, I'm an attention-seeking gay man just like you two. And I imagine you checking your review numbers is the equivalent of me looking at how many likes my last thirst trap got.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
But even I know when to stop whining about it and just realize my followers are lazy and refuse to show me the love I deserve. Please show these women some love and get them to 12,000 so we can move on already.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Okay. I mean, it's so good. You just got it nailed down. And I also see people in the comment section saying, I'm a Blacktriot, which I love that. Oh, that's great. Welcome. That is such a good addition. And I think in Trump's America, this top DEI podcast,
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
They're going to get it. But it has to be real. It has to be authentic.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I think she's too generous. I do too. I do not think that they can get better at their jobs. I don't think it's possible because I think if you look at what the point of their job is, which is to propagandize the public and dismantle democracy, they're really quite good at that. Right.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
How much do you love that? I love all of the transposing of everybody's names. I mean, because if somebody is new to this podcast, they'd be like, who's Kelly? Who's Jessica? What's the beaver? Yeah. It's just the evolution of all of the names, you know, from Kathy, now Kelly. Sometimes I call her Katarina. It's good. All of your nicknames. Yeah.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Olivia was the creator of that visual. Okay, I have some news that I'd like to share with the class today. In Japan, you can hire someone to apologize for you. In Japan, where apologizing is deeply ingrained in the culture, professional apology services exist to help individuals express regret.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And what I have to say about this is I'm very disappointed because part of apologizing is cathartic, is feeling the fuck up, tucking your tail between your legs. and purging your wrongs as a means to then evolve as an individual. And I think hiring someone to apologize for you is skirting.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
That's just how it works. All right, next up we have a study shows it's almost two times cheaper to have a son than to have a daughter. A study suggests that raising a son is nearly twice as cheap as raising a daughter, largely due to differences in spending on clothing, personal care, and in extracurricular activities.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And as the mother of two boys, I can say I think this is 100% true because my boys don't really ask me for that much.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Wow. And I do think there is a deeper thing here that it is more expensive to be a woman. I agree. And we have a lot more emphasis put on our outfits, more emphasis put on our skincare, hair, shoes, clothes, makeup, et cetera, because our appearances are picked. from the minute we wake up to the minute we go to bed. And even, like you told me, your daughter's criticizing your appearance.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Even within women, we're very cruel to one another about each other's appearances. And I think that as women, we need to do better about that. No, I agree. Completely agree. Okay. Last news story is the honeymoon phase of a relationship usually lasts between six months to two years. This period is fueled by dopamine and oxytocin, the brain's feel good chemicals, which create a sense of euphoria.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
and deep attraction. Partners often overlook flaws, conflicts feel minor, and spending time together feels effortless and exciting. And, you know, I remember back in those days that when you're the best version of yourself and you're dating the best version of that person, you're dating each other's representatives. And I think two years is generous there. But I also wonder, like, how...
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Trumpism has lasted 10 years. I mean, they seem like they're still in the honeymoon phase. I've never seen like the way they love him and his mental acuity seems to be on great decline. The rambling speeches are not as entertaining as they once used to be. I used to be able to kind of laugh at stupid shit he says. Now I'm just like, God, he's such a fucking idiot. And they just love him so hard.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I think that's generous. All right. Listen, we have a very exciting guest today. His name is Cameron Kasky, and he is the host of the Bulwarks For You pod. Let's welcome Cameron to I've Had It. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Listener, I'm going to tell you, I've had some rough, rough days this year, and I don't know that I could get up and get in front of this microphone three and four times a day if I didn't reset once or twice a month with help from my therapist from BetterHelp.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Not to mention all of those perks, it's also more affordable. Traditional in-person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session. All of that adds up fast, but with BetterHelp Online Therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. Listener, your well-being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com slash had it to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Let's welcome the host of the Bulwarks For You pod, Cameron Kasky. Cameron, how are you today?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I think people lack self-awareness. I was involved in a conversation the other day and I kept giving closing statements to this woman. Great to see you. Right. And then she would take a step closer in and ask me a brand new question. This is somebody I don't really know. It's like at the pickleball courts like, oh, hey, we always play at the same time. Right.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Well, before we dive, I mean, just deep into some cathartic Trump bashing, we do like to tend to petty grievances and ask our guests what they've had it with. So, Cameron, what have you had it with that is non-Trump related?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
My favorite show on the planet. I have a framed picture of Larry David on my work desk and not of my children. I mean like, I cannot tell you that this means that we're immediately connected, bonded for life.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
You know what? I think we need to be nitpickers. I think we need to start regulating this shit. And I used to think, no, let's not. But we just covered a story that apparently Gen Z is upset about the thumbs up emoji and they consider it to be passive aggressive. And I'm like, you know what, little titty babies, here's the deal. You need to learn how to be passive aggressive.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It's a tool in your toolbox that you can roll out when you want to be petty and you want to be passive aggressive. It is a fantastic thing to do to people when you just kind of want to fuck with them. And that's okay to want to fuck with people a little bit.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It's not like we, Gen Z, I think they think everything has to be perfect all the time and everything has to be cupcakes and rainbows and unicorns and These power moms have enabled it. And I blame the moms more than Gen Z. But I do think Gen Z needs us to nitpick them a little bit. I think it would be beneficial.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
See, and I think it's a great tool to have in our toolbox. I just, I don't think we need to be upset about that because sometimes I'm worthy. My behavior is worthy of a passive aggressive. Fuck you.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And it should take a step in and then ask me an even more personal question. I would take a step back, answer the question in as few words as I could possibly pick, and then use another closing statement. Again, it's just so good to see you. And I would start to, you know, guide my body language in a different way. And another step in, another attack.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Just say it. Yeah, I agree. You know, I was just writing somebody a text the other day, kind of a confrontational text. And then I decided, you know what? I'm not going to send this. I'm not going to send this text. And I just went back, spaced it up. And then I was able to walk away with that with a sociopathic feeling like it's none of your business what I was going to say.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
You're never going to know. And I hope that that occupies space in your brain forever.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
OK, let's move on to Gen Z and their relationship with MAGA. Just this week on our other podcast, I Have News, we shared some polling that during the election, Gen Z was plus five for Trump. And now he's lost. I think it's like the mid 20s. He's minus 20. 20-something with Gen Z, so completely underwater. But let's go back to pre-Trump 2.0.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
During the election, you've got this woman who... I have Gen Z kids, and I'm always so happy when I hear them talk about their gay friends or queer friends or trans friends or friends of color. and how protective and accepting they are of these groups. And so I was really shocked to see that it's plus five before the election for Trump with Gen Z. That really, really surprised me.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
So I'm wondering what kind of insight you had.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And it's just, I think I've gotten to the place where I don't like personal space invaders or conversations. Yeah.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
That pissed me off right there. I was all chips in Brat, Kamala, the whole nine. And then when this is what pisses me off about Democrats, what Liz Cheney did is not that remarkable. She saw an authoritarian that's a liar and she called it out as such. That is what should be the bar for everybody. But Democrats are so like, oh my God, Liz Cheney loves us.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
What Liz Cheney did to participate in the manifestation of MAGA is she went around and voted with him 90% of the time. She stood in front of cameras and said, babies are killed after they're born in post-birth abortions, which is a lie, which feeds these crazy, depraved, crazy Christians in America. And then She's able to deduce this guy is dangerous. This guy is bad and speak out about it.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Exactly. Just the whole – it's the whole human race now on a case-by-case basis. Well, mine's adjacent to yours. And what we're talking about are basically boundaries. A personal space invader is a boundary violator. And I have to bring this up again. Pumps and I were talking about it before we came on air. And she said you have to talk about it again.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And then we have to trot around with her. And I'm just like, this is the biggest exercise in futility. We live in Oklahoma. We live in a red state. These fuckers are never going to vote for you ever. So quit trying to court them. They're never going to vote for you. I told Pumps, we were sitting here, I said, I can't believe she's trotting around with Liz Cheney.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
That's when, of course, I voted for her. And I think I love Kamala Harris. I miss her being on the campaign trail. I miss the things that she said. I have nostalgia thinking back about it. But that, to me, is a grave error when the Democrats... say, oh, we're going to run to the center. We're going to run to the center. I think it's completely wrong.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I think we need to swing total left and fight for everybody, especially juxtaposing equality for all against the billionaires or the only people that want the power. And I just think it's a huge messaging problem for Democrats to always try to find these elusive Republicans that like us.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
As a working mom, and I'm talking about being a working dog mom, sometimes making it to the pet store to get my little darlings, all of the things that make their lives complete is just, I run out of time during the day.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
For our longtime listeners, you're going to know this grievance of mine. But it's been reignited. And I'm even more angry now. Or is it angrier? I'm even angrier. Angrier. I'm even angrier now than I have been about it in the past. So this building that we're in right now, I have my interior design studio downstairs, the podcast studio upstairs. This is not a retail space.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
That's why Chewy has been the best friend of me, a busy working dog mom of two, to make sure that my little smush face French bulldogs have all of the things that make their life happy.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Yeah, the Chewy's auto-ship feature, I'm never getting that, I'm so disappointed in you look that my dogs give me because that is a devastating look. Everything's just shipped straight to my door. I have it timed out perfectly. Listener, Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now, you can save money.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
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I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I would push back a little bit on you and say that we lost the culture wars because I'm old enough to remember when George W. Bush was running against John Kerry. Karl Rove rolled out the gay marriage amendment on ballots. And, you know, just 10 years later, we had gay marriage legalized all over the country. in a Supreme Court ruling.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And what I think Democrats should have done, here's at the end of the day, the people that talk about trans people the most are not liberals. They're weird MAGA people that are completely consumed with trans people and gay people and gay sex. And I think we should have put the mirror on them and said, Why are y'all always talking about kids' genitals? It's fucking weird.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Why are you guys always talking about gay people having sex? It's really fucking weird. Why don't y'all worry about your own sex lives? And we never push back. And I think that Democrats just need to take the gloves off, grow some fangs and some claws, and just start bullying the fuck out of MAGA. I think we need to—one— one political cycle run on just kind of being dicks and see what happens.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
But dicks that always vote for everybody to have rights, but dicks to these fascists and to these people that don't support equality. And I just, I'm just so sick of the Democrats always having to be on the high road and not calling them out and defending, well, there's only less than 1% of the population of trans people instead of like, you're a fucking weirdo.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Why are you so obsessed with trans people? What's going on there? And then, I mean, I think they would just get flustered. And it's just, I don't know. It's just hard living in Trump's America. It drives me crazy.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It is an office space, a private office space. I don't sell riffraffs or knickknacks. You can't just walk in here on your own. You can't do it. So when I first bought the building, I didn't have any signage on the door directly, only like up on the side of the building. People would walk in and go, I'm looking for the spa. I'm looking for the Botox place. I'm looking for my lawyer.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Okay. I want to move on to our game. Had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it, TikTok trends.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it. Katy Perry going to outer space.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I think the rocket thing is Freudian. You know, I do. I do. I think Freud was right about a lot of this stuff. You don't see women. There's a lot of billionaire women. You don't see them trying to build a rocket ship that shaped like a penis and blast off. They own the Atlantic or Melinda Gates has a foundation. They are fighting for democracy.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Even Christy Walton of Walmart takes out a full page ad in the New York Times to try to fight for democracy. You don't see women building penis ships. You just don't see it.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Billionaires for good. Yeah. I mean, I just think we need to give them all trophies and say like a big penis trophy. Congratulations. You crushed capitalism. You did such a good job. Now we're going to let you keep $3 billion. You're never going to spend it all. We're going to take the rest and try to do something positive with it.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
But of course, that would never happen because in America, people value money over human beings.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Okay. It has been so fun having you on. And listener, you can go find Cameron at the Bulwarks For You pod. Thank you so much, Cameron, for coming on and sharing your grievances. And I love that we both share a love for Larry David that will unite us to death.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
No, he's very, very smart. Very well-spoken. All the self-aware. Very. I just, I think he's doing good things. That makes me have hope in Gen Z. But I think I had a really weird lens of Gen Z because my boys are so open-minded. I didn't realize how... fucked up Gen Z boys had become. And so I'm happy to see kids like Cameron that are helping ride the ship with that generation.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I'm looking for my stockbroker. And so we were just guiding people. You were a tourist guide. Yeah. So I'd had it with that. So I call the sign people and I'm like, can you please put up Jennifer Welch Interior Design on the door so that when people get to the door, they see that it's my business in case they miss the large sign on the building. They put that up.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Very much. Okay. Everybody, please subscribe to our show. Leave us a comment, buy our merch, and we'll see you all. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'm at it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcasts and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Absolutely zero movement in the ambush attacks on this space. So then I escalate and I have a printed sign from a computer. And the aesthetics of this really bother me, but I'm desperate, right? So it says stop in bold and cap locks with exclamation points in red font. I was just going to say, it's important to remember this is bright red font.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And these letters that say stop, you guys, are four inches. One S is four inches long. Stop. Stop. Do not enter. This is Jennifer Welch Designs, open by appointment only. And then at the end, it says stop again with more exclamation points. So after instituting this two-pronged attack on the door, protection, these boundaries, I still get stragglers. Oh, I'm looking for the spa.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I have a facial today. And I get so triggered when somebody walks in the door because in my mind, I'm like, you see that it says Jennifer Welch Designs. You see a sign that says stop. You see a sign that tells you the name of the business. Do not enter. And then to stop again. And just 48 hours ago, we're up here. And I hear some idle chitchat downstairs.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Somebody comes barreling through the door as loud as all get out that has arrived at Jennifer Welch Designs slash I've had it podcast recording studios for their Botox. She's screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm looking for the Botox Botox clinic.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And I'm sitting up here and I am just getting madder and madder and madder because I'm going through just the sense of entitlement and that this woman thinks the rules don't apply to her, that she can just enter regardless of it saying stop. She knows she doesn't have an interior design appointment. She knows she's not a guest on the podcast.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Why the fuck did she open the door and come in here and then act like we're the assholes when we're not the Botox spa? Yeah. And I'm telling you guys, the stupidity of people that think the entire world is designed for them, for everybody in it to assist them, that they can't self-troubleshoot. It's staggering. And it all starts at that door to my office. And it makes me so goddamn mad.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I've called a... a tech person and i'm going to get a lock installed on that door with a camera and a buzzer system and fob locks i'm going to put an end to it once and for all because i do not want this riffraff coming in here for their botox or for their facial or to meet with their goddamn lawyer
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
mosey and ann asking us questions that we don't want to answer that they could have answered themselves if they would have read the fucking sign before they walked in the door i have had it with this and so i am i'm telling you i'm going to put a kryptonite style lock on that door okay so i have to set the scene for y'all
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Let's think about the psychology of this, though. This is what I think about. Okay. Okay. The sign says that it's not a Botox spa, that it's not a lawyer's office, that it's not a spa that you can get a facial in, that it's not your stockbroker's office, right? It says, Jennifer Welch Interior Design. That's not enough for these fuckers. So then I have to print a very un-aesthetic sign.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Goes against everything. Tape it to the door and use large, red, tacky font with exclamation points in bold print. This person sees both of those things because I have the printed sign at eye level. Right. Which part of my interior design training is to do that. Hang stuff at eye level. So I have that thing hung at eye level. And despite both of these warning signs...
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
The entitlement to still waltz in and scream at the top of your lungs when it says by appointment only. And it's not just her. It's been a parade of people. And I'm going to go on the permanent record and state the following. I'm 100% sure they're all MAGA. 100%. I'm sure that they host gender reveal parties. Yes. I'm sure that they're very active on Facebook. Of course.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
We are going to stand triple, quadruple to infinity with all of these marginalized people, minorities that this administration seeks to minimize and ridicule and be dismissive of.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And there's no question, had I gone downstairs to see this person with my own eyes, she would have had a Stanley Cup in her hand. And probably one of those Stanley Cups with a little snack attachment on it. for a bunch of just shit on there. Like a Stanley Cup purse.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And here's the thing, like this might not seem like that big of a deal and everybody's like, oh my God, I can't believe y'all are talking about this petty stuff when democracy's on fire. And we can walk and chew gum at the same time. We can bitch about Trump as we do on our other podcast three times a day.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
But I think that this Trumpism has exacerbated my frustration with people who cannot read and understand basic facts. I think that her inability to deduce that this wasn't the Botox spa is right in line with MAGA thinking.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
So she walks in here. She doesn't give a shit. She immediately denied the fact. It said, stop. Do not enter. Jennifer Walsh Designs, by appointment only. Fact, fact, fact, fact. Disregards all the facts and waltzes right on in here for us to inject her with Botox.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I mean, failure to acknowledge boundaries, failure to acknowledge facts, failure to read, failure to comprehend what you're reading. Failure to follow instructions, failure to follow rules, failure to be a decent person, failure to be an adult, an absolute abject fucking failure. These fucking people are. I wish I had a list of every single one of them.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
You guys, one time we were on the Today Show and in the elevator at 30 Rock, they have pictures of people that are not allowed in the building. Do you remember that? So it's like this person's a psycho and he's stalking a person that works in the building. And there's like 10 pictures. I think what I'm going to do now.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
until I get the lock installed is I'm going to Kylie, Seth, Adriana, you or me, whoever comes in, I'm going to say, hang on one second before I answer your question, get a photograph of them. And then we'll start posting their pictures because if I'm going to not have any aesthetic on the front door, it's just going to look like a goddamn flea market. Let's just go all chips in.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
So I'll take her picture. What's your name? Jane Doe. And I'll print it up and I'll put this moron can't read. Therefore, she's not allowed to come in this building. And I'll just start publicly shaming them. How about people that are not smart enough to enter this building? Exactly. Yeah. Are too entitled to enter the building.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I just would never in 10 trillion years enter into a space that said, stop, do not enter.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It's right by the door. And then the stop. It says stop. Bright red. Right where your hand, it's in the sight line where your hand goes and grabs the handle to the door. Right. It's an impossibility that you don't see the word stop, do not enter. Right. By design. So the people that have entered here are the dumbest motherfuckers this city has to offer. And that, my friends, is a low bar.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
That's true. That's a good point. None of it. Well, Seth is one of our producers.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I'm kind of excited about it. Whatever is the most aggressive form of security I can have for that door is what I'm ordering. Okay, good. fingerprint, iris, something. I don't know what it is, but I can't take it anymore. I can't.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And the dogs used to come up here and then the dogs would go bananas, you know, and then I got in a fight with that one lady that one time and it just, it brings out the worst in me. But it brings out, I get so tickled. I know. I mean, it makes me laugh so hard. I know. I'm here to entertain. That's right. You're here for my pleasure. Okay. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I'm Angie, HBIC, Head Beaver in Charge. America's Top DEI Podcast coming at you right now. Do not come to our building. Do not come here. Do not sit with us. Do not come to this building. Kylie. Hi. Hi. What do you have today?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I want to say this about white males, because whenever we beat up on them, I see in the comment section, there's a lot of white men. That's true. That watch our podcast or listen to our podcast that fight the good fight and have always fought the good fight and are feminists. Their masculinity isn't threatened by a drag queen. Their masculinity isn't threatened by
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Yes. This is why I'm so irritated because when I'm downstairs and they come in, I go to the door and I say, it's around the corner. This is an interior design studio. We're open by appointment. And then they are mad at me. And they're like, well, where is it around the corner? And I'm like, you just walk around the corner. It's not this building. Well, what do you mean?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Is it like right behind you? And they are argumentative and act like you're the asshole. People that violate that type of boundary that's put on a door that come in, they're provocateurs. They are. These are January Sixers. This is my January 6th. Right here. Yeah. They're coming in. They're invading. And like Kylie said, thank God I wasn't down there because I, oh, it would have been over.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I mean, you. Because I think if she would have been mad at me, how am I the fucking asshole when you didn't read the sign and you come in here and you think we're supposed to stop our work to escort you to your Botox appointment? You entitled twat. That's what I would say to her. Do you know how happy that would have made me?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Yeah, I'll let you do it like Instagram Live if it happens before the lot comes.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I'm so happy. I'm just tickled pink. I mean, that's the best kind of review to get.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Skirt. Dog shit. Racket. Yak mouth. I mean, those are all... Those need to be infused. Dick over. Dick over is a great one. I just want to remind everybody that I did student teaching because my undergraduate degree was elementary education.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
For example, and you were with me, we were at a very nice restaurant in New York City. Because we're so bougie. Because we're bougie as fuck. And it was like crystal chandeliers, like finger food. I mean, it is the fanciest fancy of fancy. It is a press show beyond fancy. Lights turned down. You could barely see the person. Great kind of swanky music. Perfect level. Not Christmas music.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And there's nothing that's higher praise than an invitation to the barbecue.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
So we're sitting there. There is a toddler. I'm going to say three, four-ish behind us. Now, mind you, there is a complete glass case. Dividing the two tables, the backs of the two tables. There is full crystal in these glass cases that are lined up. This fucking kid turns around in his seat and starts banging at the glass wall thing with the crystal in it. around.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yeah. And that's the paradox. Okay. So I have something that she has teased me about forever and ever and ever, which Okay, bring it. So I don't really like someone until they don't like me. What does that say about me? Like, I would have never married my husband. I didn't like him at all. It was ended up being the biggest disaster in the history of the world. But he gave me the boot.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And then that's when I liked him. So what does that say about somebody that only, I mean, you're really not interested until they reject you. And then that's when you care.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Oh my gosh, ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. I have the worst intimacy complexes you could ever imagine. It's horrible.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I've had to- What? It started out as emotional entanglement issues. And now I can say- Sure, in childhood. Intimacy issues.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I mean, it was almost earthquake loud. It was so loud. And it was moving the back of my chair. The mother never turned around. The kid continued to do it. And I just thought, I wanted to stand up and go over and go, take your fucking kid home. Get a fucking babysitter. You may like all this nonsense at your dinner, but nobody else in this restaurant does.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Oh my God, Jillian. Okay. Same. So I am a divorce attorney in my real life. And about 15 years ago, it didn't matter if the person was a narcissist or not. Whoever my client was swore on a stack of Bibles, this person, I'm married to a narcissist. And you kind of get to where you're just like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Then it started infiltrating into the other lawyers saying, well, so my client's told me what a narcissist his wife is. So then the wife's attorney comes up to me and she's like, He is the biggest narcissist. And I'm just like, according to the definition of the general public, maybe from Google, I don't know. Everybody's a fucking narcissist. It drives me insane. Here's something else.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I don't know if you, I mean, I'm not trying to one up you, but I am an egomaniac. So I had a client that took like the textbook, a psychology textbook, went into it, highlighted every single page about narcissism, ripped it out of the book and mailed it to her soon to be ex-mother-in-law and said, this is what you raised. She was so convinced of the narcissism.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And I thought, you just completely 100% proved that you're the biggest nut in this relationship. Yes.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And if you just take a real quick social cue on your surroundings, this is not Chuck E. Cheese. This is not a pizza party or a Mexican hole in the wall. This is an expensive, nice, bougie-ass place, and your kid has no place in there. So your kid sucks, and you fucking suck. But I didn't do any of that. I just turned around to you and said, I fucking hate them.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That's true. I personally had nightmare in-laws and I, I mean, this is terrible, but I used to tell Jennifer all the time, like they're going to live forever because dying would be too good for me. For them to be alive, it punishes me. Ego. So I had a bad experience. What did you just say?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Attorney for the rebellions. Add that to me, Ma. Meet Curtin's Law Firm. Oh my God.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yes. Good luck with your book. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Smegasfex at Never There. I knew it. I'm an egomaniac. I knew it.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Think about all the language we use surrounding her. America's greatest podcaster. Greatest legal mind. Princess Diana. Yes.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Exactly. Imagine comparing yourself. Princess Diana. I don't compare. I don't say I'm Princess Diana.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yeah. You and I used to eat at like four o'clock with the kids. And if anybody started having a meltdown, we left or we picked up food. Like it, here's what fundamentally I don't get. You're going out for a nice dinner and before everybody in the comment says, oh my gosh, maybe they couldn't afford a babysitter. They couldn't afford to eat at this restaurant if they couldn't afford a babysitter.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That's number one. But my whole thing is, why do you want your kid in an atmosphere like that? Isn't the stress on you tenfold in a place that has crystal everywhere and your toddlers being a net? I'll tell you why. They're sadists.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I completely agree. I think that's where we're headed. I think if people cannot discern what is appropriate for a toddler... They need to be told. I think it should be on every wedding invitation. If your child's under six or whatever the age is. Why don't what?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
OK, here's the fundamental problem with that. These parents are assholes. They don't think their child's assholes. They think their kid is such a joy and that everybody wants to be around their child. That's a huge problem is these people that have these shitty kids. They're shitty people. Therefore, they want everybody else to enjoy their shitty kid.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I just, I really do think we should start having no children restaurants. Didn't we hear that they were going to have a no children flight or somebody does have no children flights?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I mean, we're just going to try it. We're going to try it out and see if it works. But I mean, no kids at weddings, no kids on planes, no fucking kids in restaurants. Certain restaurants. Certain restaurants. Now, I don't want to be overly broad because there's a lot... Family-friendly restaurants. Of course. Everybody has to eat. I get all that.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That's exactly who we are at this podcast. What have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with. And it is twofold. And I am riled up about it. I hear it. I... have a twofold habit with number one, parents that take their kid to clearly adult restaurants. And while there, these parents allow these children to act horrible and they don't even try to contain their children.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
But when it's a super bougie-ass restaurant, no kids. And here's what I would almost even say. If I was a diner with that person, because the parents were with other people... That would be a friendship bender for me. I'm never going to dinner with y'all again. Period.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I completely agree. I think we should start having signs that say no children allowed in certain places. And if I'm the proprietor of a coffee shop, of a restaurant, of whatever it is, I'm putting that on there. Don't bring your kid. I don't want your kid. If you don't want to come without your kids, stay home.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I don't need your business because there's a lot of other people that don't want kids here and they'll be happy to start coming to my establishment. That's what I think. I think it's a marketing ploy that we've just left untapped.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
We are. We're advocates for staying at home in a safe environment with a babysitter. We don't think kids should be around forks.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That's the question. I could even add, when I used to chain smoke cigarettes, I hid from my kids. I didn't want them to get secondhand smoke.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
newsflash, hot take, and I've said it before and I'll say it again. Nobody thinks your kid is as cute as you think your kid is. Nobody wants to go to an adult restaurant with other adults and have your fucking toddler running around acting like Annette. It makes me hate the kid, but it makes me hate the parent even worse.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I think the three star and calling me middle of the road is they wanted to trigger me and it worked hook, line, sinker.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I know that a lot of our listeners are every bit obsessed with their pets as we are. We even here at I've Had It podcast call our pets our biological children. And that's why my little darlings, my little babies are never going to go without what makes them happy. And that's why I love Chewy. Chewy helps keep my animals happy.
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Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
They offer pet prescriptions, pet insurance, telehealth vet visits, and I have filled out a subscription to have all of their food and toys delivered so that they never go without.
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Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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Minimum purchase required. New customers only. Terms and conditions apply. See site for complete details. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. IQ Bar is the better for you plant protein-based snacks made with brain-boosting nutrients to refuel, nourish, and satisfy hunger without the sugar crash.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Listener, I'm just going to tell you guys, we get in here in the morning, we start cranking out episodes for the day, filming these ads, we are all chips in, and then I'm starving. I'm so grateful that we partnered with IQ Bars here at the studio because I'll have one and it just gives me the boost and the nutrients that I need to push through the day of filming.
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Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
That's had it to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site? Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids. So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I was like, they're still out. Why don't you just wear like a nipple cover and then just get rid of the pads altogether?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
What a great review. That's a really good review. And I do. I mean, you know, with all of Josh's chronic illnesses that he was able to sub in for you while you were ill was excellent.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I like it. I think Josh is having ear surgery. He told me. Oh, really? Yeah. I think he's gotten a surgery out of this thing. The chronic earwax problem, I think, has led to a surgery. I mean, he just browbeats these people so long. He said it to me and I kind of was like in one ear, out the other. And then he brought it up again, like my surgery is X date.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I think it's like the end of May after all the kids stuff. And, you know, here's the thing that's so bad about living with a hypochondriac. My default setting with a man who's ill is I'm more nurse ratchet than nurse nightingale. But after so many faked illnesses and paranoia about illnesses, it depletes it even worse. And so he's going to get whatever it is done to his ears.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I don't know if it's medically reduced. I haven't even asked a question. I've asked zero follow-up questions regarding the surgery. You're like, okay. I was just like, okay. So I, I, you know, I don't know. You might have to come over and take care of him.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I would be the best nurse on the planet. There's no question. It's just all the faking. I'm just questioning, is this, I don't have the details about the ear surgery. I just know that it started with ear wax. And then he also thought that he had a brain disorder and we've had CAT scans. And now we've settled on some sort of ear surgery. And so I'm just suspicious about the whole thing.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Maybe we'll have him back on the pod post-surgery. We'll do a little post-surgical check-in. He'll be able to hear better. You know, if he has a real problem, I would be a great nurse. Like, Roman was sick a couple weeks ago. And I took great care of him and, you know, checked his temperature, made sure he had a all the medications and stuff that he needed.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I think he might have gone to two different ENTs. I think we're talking about a second opinion here. I think we did some doctor shopping. That's what I think. But again, I don't ask a lot of questions. And that's for my protection. Right. That's for my serenity. That's self-preservation for me. Because sometimes I've found when I ask more questions, you give them an inch, they take a mile.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it when you're involved in a group text and you don't really want to be in the group text, but you have to be in it. And the one that I'm talking about is I have a senior in high school and it's the parent senior group text. And I've had it when people ask the group a question that should be asked to Google.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. And I don't want to talk about the minutia of his ear problems. And to new listeners, you might think, God, she's, you know, that's cold. And the thing is, when you've sent your husband to rehab, how many times, listener? Five. Five times. You've been to five family weeks. You just get to where you're just kind of like, here's the deal. You're you. I did the work that I had to do.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I kind of the thesis sentence is stay in my lane. Right. And and you can stay in your lane if you need me to pick you up from the ear surgery. I'll do that. And I'll drop you off and then I'll go back to work. And that's what it is. Yep. Okay. Kylie, what's next? Is it me?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It's my turn. Okay. All right. This is welcome to I've had it. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Angie, the HBIC. Okay. First news story today. Put this up. Chat GPT users are developing bizarre delusions, which Angie has been accusing this me of this. So that's why I chose this story.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
A Rolling Stone report highlights growing concerns that some users are falling into a state of chat GPT-induced psychosis. Reddit users are sharing alarming stories about loved ones becoming obsessed with spiritual and conspiratorial delusions, believing they've been chosen by sentient AIs or cosmic forces.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
In several cases, these interactions led to deteriorating mental health, ruined relationships, and drastic life changes, all seemingly worsened by the AI's tendency to mirror user beliefs without challenging them. Experts warn that while the technology mimics conversations well, it lacks awareness or ethical judgment, potentially reinforcing psychotic thoughts.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
No, I get that like what I take from this is probably the people who are doing this I would think have some sort of pre-existing condition for some sort of psychotic condition. And this is exacerbating that is what I think that is. Okay. Yeah. I can buy that. I can buy that. I mean, I think that, you know, I've read some stories that Mark Zuckerberg recently said that Americans need more friends.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
He proposes his AI, whatever his is, you know, now all these billionaires have this AI. stuff. And I think it's really a problem when we have a loneliness epidemic and then the thought leaders, the billionaires that made all this shit that are causing the lonely loneliness epidemic, their solution is get deeper into our apps and become friends with our imaginary friends.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I mean, seriously, how diabolical is it that you're a part of the reason that we have a loneliness epidemic and you propose a solution for your loneliness to be deeper into that man's app? I mean, that is just such a level of evil that is unconscionable to me.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
So unlikable. Musk, the most unlikable person on the planet. If he did not have billions of dollars, he would have zero friends. Zero. Zero. The only reason that people think he's cool is because his bank account. That is it. There's nothing cool about him. I've watched multiple interviews with him. And the more and more I watch him, the less likable he becomes. And the same with Zuckerberg.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And let me give you an example. About four or five days ago, a woman asked the group, and I'm talking, you know, there's probably 90, 100 people in this. Does anybody have any tips on how to get the wrinkles out of the graduation gown? No. No, I'm dead serious. I look at that and I just think, what's the psychology behind this? She knows that there's Google.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I mean, good God. And you know, he's getting the really unlikable as well. Jeff Bezos. I mean, these guys are just not likable. And there was a time in America, right? Where you could see a family that was wealthy, like the Kennedy family, for example. They believed deeply in philanthropy. They were blessed financially. Hashtag blessed financially. Blah, blah, blah.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
But they cared deeply about helping the marginalized. And now you have these people. And there are obviously wealthy people in America that believe that. They're just quiet. But now we have these like evil oligarchs just kissing Trump's ass. And it's literally like watching some superhero villain show.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Well, here's something important about Mackenzie Bezos. She worked while he was building Amazon. And she was the breadwinner for that family while he was building that brand. She paid the bills. She went in and did the work. They lived on her salary. And then she gets a divorce.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And don't you know, she thanks her lucky stars every day that she's not married to that morally duplicitous bald fuck any longer. And she is doing really good, quiet work helping uphold democracy, helping the marginalized standing for human rights. The same with Belinda Gates. She's doing this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And then there's a Walmart heir, Christy Walton, I believe, who's taking out full pages in The New York Times. And this is why there's such a war on women right now, because women ethically as a group, I think, have better morals than men do.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And there's obviously a stereotype. There's obviously exceptions and caveats to all of this. And I'm just speaking in general terms. But it just seems like the people who have been the boldest and been the bravest in the face of fascist authoritarian Trump have been women. I point you to the governor of Maine.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
He tried to belittle her, berate her in the White House because she wanted to stand up for trans kids. And he, you know, just does what he makes an ass of himself, looks so weak when he's doing it. She said, fine, I'll see you in court. She went to court and she kicked his ass. And I just think you see the people that are standing up the most. I see it as being women. And the thing about women is.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
is if you're enlightened and you're a student of history and you understand the women who fought before you to have a credit card in your name, to have a right to divorce for whatever reason you see fit, to have an education, to have a job. If you understand those things, then you wouldn't take it for granted and then vote for the people who are now trying to take that away from you.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Are we wanting to have a conversation with this many people? Because that's my worst nightmare. And number two, are you trying to let everyone know that you don't have conflict resolution skills? Wrinkles and gown. Resolution. Hit the Google. Get an iron. Get a steamer. And so I've had it with that. And this happens a lot. People asking group messages or individuals things that could be Googled.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Wait, hold on. A-D-V. Advocating. Advocating. Abdicating means almost opposite.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I just, obviously. Advocating. Ad. Advo. Advo. Advocating. Welcome to Phonics with Seniors and the Beaver.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You know what? We get like... They're just probably belly laughing right now. We have some Gaytriot listeners that signed us both up for AARP memberships. And it comes to the office. We get like... two to three things a week. We get magazines. We get all of these offers and deals. It was really such a good prank. I mean, because it's lived on. It's not like they did it once and then it ends.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
This was like a year ago, over a year ago that these queens did this to us. And they're still reaping the benefits of the prank on us. Yeah. The troll continues. Yeah. All right. There's something that we have to discuss as a community because this is right in our wheelhouse. And I want to analyze step by step this entire saga. We notoriously covered the Delta shitter. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
The psychology behind the Delta shitter, the fallout from the Delta shitter and new listener. That's, of course, the person that shit down the aisle on the Delta flight on their way to the bathroom. You can go back into our library. We've analyzed that from top to bottom. Now we need to dive into this. Kylie, put up the headline.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
A woman defecates on car during road rage incident in Delco, police say. A Ridley Park woman is accused of defecating on another driver's car during road rage incident that was captured on video. Kylie, play the video and I will narrate. Okay, here we got somebody in their car taking a video. Me!
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, and she's filming a woman that took her britches off, took her panties down, and I saw explosive diarrhea, explosive diarrhea on the head of the car. Explosive diarrhea on the head of the car. Explosive diarrhea on the head of that car. Let me read you some more details about this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Police said a woman later identified as 44-year-old Christina Solometo defecated on another driver's car in a road rage incident that started when one driver cut off another. She was taken into custody on Thursday and is charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, harassment, and depositing waste on a highway.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
So obviously, this wouldn't have happened in Kamala's America. Fuck no, this would have never happened. And I would say to our listener, if you weren't the viewer, that it was explosive diarrhea. And here's what I want to get into. Here's the parts I want to analyze about this. To be able to have explosive diarrhea on demand...
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
like that is a skill set that I didn't know existed because I tend to have like, if I'm out and about in the world, I will move heaven and earth to make it to a safe potty and not a public potty. And I'm typically able to do that. You're able to... I can speak more to this. You can take a shit in Office Depot, in a tire shop, anywhere. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You notoriously took a shit in a cup in front of your teenage son on the side of a highway.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
But the group text fuckery gets even worse. So last night they had the senior award ceremony, right? And so one of the moms goes into the group meet and she's like, I just want everybody to know that there had been some rumors that the kids would be informed if they were receiving an award and some of the parents weren't going to come. Well, that's not true.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You forget that. But he was there. He was present. You're going to hear about it at Family Week.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. You're going to have a therapist. This is going to be something that comes up in his childhood. 100%. Let me ask you this. As somebody who has explosive diarrhea frequently, maybe you could be our expert in this. If you were so mad and you wanted to explode as she did, could you do it? Could you turn it on like that?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like she's thinking, okay, she's squeezing her ass. She's thinking, I'm going to blow. I got to get to blow. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Somebody cuts her off. Right. And it puts her in this position where she's like, okay, fuck you. I was trying to get home to take a shit. You slowed me down. I'm shitting on your car. That's what I think. It's a great theory. Yeah, that's my theory. Kylie, is there anything else? If you and Seth will look up on the internet, do we have any follow-ups? I'll see if I can find some. Of this woman?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Because, I mean, I've got to say, first and foremost, I wish I would have been there. Oh, my God. It was so shocking, I'm sure. You know, I mean, because I saw the original part of this news story where she's walking towards the car and she's screaming like, fuck you, blah, blah.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And you see her like start to take her bridge, pull her britches down in route to bare ass and do the explosive diarrhea on the hood of the car in Trump's America. And, uh, I thought, wow. I mean, I just had so many thought questions. And then I saw this like local news report and it's like the chief of police and he's doing a press conference and he's like, we take this very seriously.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I know a lot of people think this is funny, but this is a representation of our community. And he's like dead serious, you know, like talking about how they're going to prosecute her and they're pressing charges and all of this stuff. But road rage, I mean, it's one of those things that like, People go bananas over it.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We didn't even discuss that then. She didn't wipe. Exactly. As messy as that was. She's pulling her britches back up, getting back in her car and fastening her seatbelt. There's several issues I'm thinking about. Oh, my gosh. Diaper rash. Yes. The odor. The odor. What do you do with your clothes at that point? For me, I just think you trash them.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
That the awards are going to be a surprise. And so then like there's this conversation going on back and forth about it. And just here's my overall thing about this. It's just not your business. Like if you're a mom and you don't work at the school and you're not an employee of the school and we're dealing with 18 to 19 year olds and then also all of the parents are grown ass adults.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Let's go, let's go through that. So you cut somebody off and sometimes, sometimes you cut people off. Sometimes you get cut off. This is the contract of driving. Sometimes you're the asshole. Sometimes you get to be the asshole, you know, or you fall prey to, you're the victim of the asshole. But let's just go through the psychology of this person. They accidentally cut them off.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Most of the time you don't mean to. It's an accident. And then this person, you know, goes bananas, stops the car, prevents you from moving. And they're walking towards you and you see them unbutton and unzip their britches. Pull them down and then you've got a vag heading directly at you. And then a 180 degree turn and you're seeing ash cheeks. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, so then you're sitting in your car from your bird's eye view and the ash cheeks are there and then all of a sudden this targeted strike starts happening on the hood of your car. What the fuck are you doing at that point? Are you so shocked?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
shocked you're so shocked do you start the car and kind of you know tap the brake tap the gas a little bit to bumper off as you drive down the street afterwards do you have shit flying on the windshield wipers and then you're wiping them i mean there's so many unanswered questions about this story that the media has done such a terrible job getting us the answers for but we here have got to get to the bottom i'd like to interview the both both people
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Let's talk about this. You take off driving and some of it's gone down the grill. Of course it has. So then it's going in your ventilation system. I forgot. I didn't even think about this. That's what I'm saying. There are so many unanswered questions and the cascading effects of this strike, this diarrhea strike. I guarantee you there's still shit somewhere microscopically on that car.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Oh, I'm thinking I am the smartest person on the planet that I got that whole thing on video and I would be texting it. I'd call you immediately because you're always so – well, you're the one friend that always reports to me like just a random – I'll get a random text, listener. Right. to 28 on a Saturday. I just took a shit at Office Depot. Yeah. Like it's just something she shares with me.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Or when our kids were younger, I'd be sitting in my house with a baby in my hands, giving them a bottle. And then this person comes barreling in my front door. Ignore me, ignore me. I'm about to shit my pants. I'm about to shit my pants. And she would just go straight into my house, not close the bathroom door. And then you just hear it. Yeah. Nagasaki. And then I'd just leave.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And then she would say, thank you so much for letting me use your bathroom and leave. So I have fallen prey to some of this. I will give you credit that you always made it to the toilet.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Everybody has agency to figure out on their own about this award ceremony. It's just the meddling and the micromanaging that goes on in these parent group meetings. It is such a cancer. It really is. It ruins what should be like joyful activities with your children as they cross this milestone. Looking around, seeing all these busy bodies, and it just grates on my nerves.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like if you have to go this bad. The first person I thought about when this happened, when I saw this, was you. Because you're the only person that I know that would have the ability to potentially control. do this type of targeted strike, diarrhea strike on another person. I couldn't do it. You don't think you could? No. This skill set is above mine. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Your dog, Oliver Glitzer, the love of your life, your soulmate. Yeah. And somebody spits on him, tells him he's ugly. And you can tell it hurts his feelings. He puts his little ears back and he's kind of like, and you're like, don't talk to my dog like that. You're such an asshole. And they just like provoking it. And then they go to their car and you have to shit your pants.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like you genuinely have to shit your pants. And then they're in their car, like filming you like your dog's ugly. Your dog is so ugly. Your dog is stupid.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Ew, that's a lie. That is a lie. I just, do we have anything about the person that was the victim? The victim of this crime. We have the perpetrator. Do we have anything on record about the victim?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, here's the deal. There's a bonus involved in either you or Seth or both. If you can get both of these people booked, the shitter would be the first segment of the podcast. And then the victim would be the second set of the podcast. And then we would do some post-interview analysis because we're serious about our jobs. We're journalists.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We're covering the hard-hitting subjects that America wants to hear. And let's just face it. This is a nice respite from all the fuckery.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I feel lighter. I do too. And I just have so many follow-up questions and I just need for you and Seth to make this happen for us. Okay.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay. I have a great idea. You and Josh contact the victim and represent the victim's rights in this pro bono and file a civil lawsuit against the shitter for the damage done to the car.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
That's what I'm talking about. America's top legal mind right there just made the case. I'm telling you, this could be the bump that this podcast needs.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I just I want to talk to the victim about just start at the very beginning. Leave out no detail. What happened? What, like when you see her get out of the car and she's yelling at you and you see her unbutton her pants and start to pull them down. Did you see her vag? Was it manicured?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
What color was it? That's the kind of detail I need. Did you see any panties when she pulled them down or not? And then as she spun around, was the ass saggy? Was it taut? Was there cellulite? Did you notice any of that? And then as she bent over, were you curious about what she was doing? When you saw the brown liquid coming out, did you have a moment where you thought...
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
this can't be happening. This can't be shit on my car. Is she really shitting on my car? Or were you like, holy shit, she's shitting on my car. Walk me through all of it. Then walk me through your post being shit on analysis and how you pieced it together and realized that you did fall prey to a targeted shit strike. That's, I mean, this is what our listener needs in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Do you know what your assignment is? Kiki, the magic lesbian, you know what your assignment is. I have to get a jail phone call interview.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
So that's those are your those are your the biggest. Let me let me just tell you this. If my name is Kylie Josie, I'm going to have a punch list in front of me. And it's going to be number one and number two must do before I leave office today or I will die. Get shitter, get victim.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
My, my, my fat shaming the shitter. The plot thickens. Interesting.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You fat bitch. Fuck her. I'm going to shit on her car. That is America in a nutshell, isn't it? It is. That's just, that is exactly, that's where we are. That's who we are. Trump's America, baby. Let's go. All right. Thank you for tuning in for America's Top DEI Podcast. If you get to our next episode. And we no longer have producers. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It will be because of the aforementioned request not being executed by lesbians who we have established on this podcast multiple times are the most talented. Competent. Most ambitious. That lesbians should run the world. Lesbians run this podcast. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. So it's a real test, Kylie. Kiki the Magic Lesbian. It's a lot at stake.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I just think that this is what Asshole Island needs. Right. I think this type of hard-hitting journalism, getting both sides, and then analysis on the tail end of that. Because here's the thing. We will ask the questions that others won't. Right. Well, we learned this from the Delta shitter. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We read the stories and we watched the interviews and, you know, people asking passengers questions and we still don't know the identity. And I understand that person was not, that wasn't a targeted strike. This was accidental BB hits, you know? So, but I just know, I know that you and I, with the help of the Gatriots, because we could do a prep episode. Gatriots can find anything.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I had to go yesterday to a slideshow. at one o'clock at the school that the students put together a slideshow. And here's the problem with it. They send it out and they put an asterisk by the parts that the parents can be involved in. Well, if I don't show up, then I'm the fucking asshole. That's right. Mom that doesn't show up.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
But all of this is done by all of these parents who just have to be involved in everything. And a part of being a senior is you're starting to teach your kids autonomy. The slideshow should be for the seniors. Right. I'm not a senior. I don't go to school. It felt awkward leaving the office in the middle of the day, driving to the school, sitting down with other parents, watching the slideshow.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots. Fuck off! That's right. Trump's America, baby.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And it's just, it's too much. This power mom culture is creating the biggest generation of titty babies. And you can start to see the results trickle out. Gen Z, anxiety out the wazoo. I wonder why. Because nobody ever taught them how to be autonomous, how to govern themselves. And it's... Then interacting with these parents and how dramatic they are about everything.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It's just the drama surrounding raising kids right now. Like it's this new novel thing. It's just like we're not the first people that have done this. What we are are the first people that have made it this big of a fucking deal. Right. That's what we are. We are the people who have acted like and feigned that we discovered breeding.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
That's what I was thinking. Like, why? If you need to know information, contact somebody at the school. But these moms asking how to iron a gown and then monitoring who's going to an award ceremony and whose kids are getting awards and whose kids aren't getting awards and who was notified about the awards. Get a job.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Gotta take all the lips where you can get them. This is Asshole Island, America's top DEI podcast. And we will be the final resistance if it kills us.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
life right get a life like seriously all of that hyper fixation harms you the person who's being that codependent super duper harms your child and i'm never going to get that time back i'm damaged from all of these interactions I leave the group me damaged. I leave a little bit of me that believed in a little bit of humanity in that group message. And I cannot wait until graduation.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And it happens in a week or two where it will say, Jennifer Welch has left this group message because it will be the second after the graduation.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We have two mascots, the eagle and the beaver, although we're really leaning heavily into the beaver ever since we found out that it is the national animal of Canada. And unlike MAGA, we like Canada a lot. Yeah. We like you guys a lot and we don't like bullies either, especially thin skinned, whining, whinging, titty baby bullies. Let me just throw this in before I kick it to Kylie. Okay.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I've had it with the constant nonstop whining and complaining from MAGA. Yeah. I have never in my life seen bigger whiners. The Little Mermaid is black. Donald Trump, it's a witch hunt against him. People are mean about Teslas. Trans people shouldn't have rights. I mean, just shut the fuck up and quit whining for fuck's sake. But I guess they like it.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It's a community of whiners, which is why I am a proud resident and co-leader of Asshole Island. Because on this island, if we're going to bitch, it's going to be productive.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Yeah. And here's one more thing too. At the award ceremony, I noticed that when the teachers were giving the awards for certain subjects, they spoke a lot about critical thinking, intellectual curiosity, a desire to learn, a desire to get to the truth, all of these things, right?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And by geography listener, I can assume that a lot of the parents in the office, I mean, in the audience were probably Trumpers.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I'm sitting there thinking as all of these teachers are coming out talking about critical thinking, intellectual curiosity, relentless pursuit of the truth and of facts and being open-minded and open to different points of view and welcoming adverse reactions and adverse points of view as being these strong character strengths.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I'm sitting there as each teacher said something to that vein. And there were 36 awards given out. Josh and I did the time on it. 36 times three to five. We were there for two hours. Okay. Nonetheless, every teacher had this same kind of message.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I'm looking around and I know for sure there's this one family and the grandparents are there and they are Trimple, Trumper, Dump, Mega Church, the whole nine. I know it because she's shown me pictures of like her wearing a Trump hat and all this crazy shit. Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm sitting there thinking, OK, they watch Fox News all the time and they hear all this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
People are getting indoctrinated at schools and higher education is the problem. That's what's corrupting all of our kids. And I guess when they hear all of this stuff from the teachers, it's. they don't connect it to their kids. They just think these other kids shouldn't have that type of education, but their kids can. And so I think we're going to hit a really big conflict. We're hitting it now.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
But of the people that want to learn, And the people that want to objectively learn and that really want to be truth seekers and don't fall prey to propaganda and indoctrination. So we're going to have the battle of the curious versus the dipshits. It's coming. I mean, I think we're having it right now. And so I just thought it was just interesting.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I was kind of glad that some of those people had to hear those things being said. And I wonder if any of them thought, well, this seems kind of woke.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
But you told me your family members who were triple Trumpers, you had a cousin that went to an Ivy League school, and then she became a Democrat, and they blamed the Ivy League school for it.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
So you're telling me when they hear the language spoken by these teachers of all of these things, like critical thinking and objective truths and all of these things, from a teacher, they think that's a good thing. But when they hear Fox News say the same thing, they identify it as bad?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
bras that the pads don't come out they don't exist you're constantly it's like how hard is it sew the pad in let me ask you this and i i have experienced that exact same thing i know exactly what we're talking about but considering that you have uh large breasts and nipples
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I have never claimed that. Find the tape. Play the tape. To the contrary, I was accused of being a centrist. I talked about it. I'm a spiraled. They can call me ugly. All of these terrible things does not faze me, bounces off like nobody's business. But being called a centrist lived rent-free in my brain.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
for a long time, so much so that the Gayatriots on our hot shit tour were constantly trolling me, buying me centrist t-shirts. And I even saw, after I had the epic takedown with Rahm Emanuel, okay, I saw on social media the original person that called me a centrist commented on our Instagram and said, I retract my centrist comment. A retraction. I love that for you. And now we have new ones.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Do you think that, do you think this is somebody fucking with me? I think they're fucking with you.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
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I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
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I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Go to shopify.com slash had it to upgrade your selling today. Again, that's shopify.com slash had it. All right, let's welcome to I've Had It, my friend, Mayor David Holt. Mayor, how are you today? I am wonderful.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I think maybe... And per the last election results, 50% or 49% may think we're the pride. Right. The other might think we are the devil. Oklahoma City is really purple, isn't it?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it when people ask you a question like, what is your favorite movie? What is your favorite meal? What is your favorite song? I don't have it narrowed down to a favorite. I like a bunch of different shit. Quit asking me what my favorite is.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Yeah. Quit overachieving listener. Only listen to I've had it. There's one podcast.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Well, what's- Aren't you a lawyer too? Like how- Yeah. She's America's greatest legal model. Yes. I'm starting a new law firm called Meemaw Meat Curtains. Oklahoma City. Here we go. Okay. We have a question for you. And a lot of our listeners, everybody has the most grievances during air travel. And so I want to know who is the boss of Will Rogers Airport? That's our airport in Oklahoma City.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
This listener, we are about to impact micro change right here. Okay. So we have some grievances.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
You can forward the podcast to your friends that listen to 40 podcasts a day.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
We got to get into the weeds because these are things that I think we can impact change in people's lives that are nonpartisan. I think both sides of the aisle can come together for this. So when you have a city like Oklahoma City that's not like O'Hare, you pretty much know what's arriving, what's leaving. There's not a whole lot of planes. When a plane arrives on time,
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And the jet bridge operator takes about 10 minutes to connect the jet bridge to the plane. Okay. Where do we complain? To whom do we complain? Is that you?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
It's always possible that we're the problem. Always. Never rule that out. But we travel a lot for this podcast. And I will say that sometimes even the pilot says, well, folks, I don't know. We're waiting on a jet bridge operator.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I want to do away with this type of questioning because the person who has asked the question thinks, oh, I've got to give a really good answer here. Right. And from now on, I'm going to say, that's a stupid question. There are literally millions of movies, millions of songs, and millions of different types of meals. I have lots of favorites.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Well, but here's my point, is the ability in business to improvise. Mm-hmm. So you pull up and the pilot's like, well, folks, looks like this plane's delayed pushing off, blah, blah. Why didn't people within the airport say, let's just push them to gate six because we're supposed to go to gate five or whatever it was.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
flat okay they have kind of their little world you know when you walk to the airport like there's united there's delta there's southwest you know right so anyways um i'll take all this under one final grievances regarding the airport and then we're going to move on to something else but one final thing if y'all ever remodel the airport yeah if you notice when you walk down to the gates like if you're heading down to the very end of the airport mm-hmm
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Yeah, exactly. Tarazzo, I think, I know it's expensive, but I think Tarazzo is more, we're not going to have that many gates. I think our city always invests in spending in the city. I think a nice, smooth Tarazzo to replace that tile floor with all that grout because it's awfully noisy.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I have a lot of stuff that's on my preferred list, but I don't have an actual favorite. Like, I was asked this question recently, and I'm just like... This is a stupid question. What's your favorite movie? Well, I have a ton. I probably have 40 that I like equally the same. And then the same with songs and the same with meals. I don't have a favorite.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Maybe we can make it go viral. What airport am I in? Click, click, click. And everybody puts on their TikTok and Instagram and everybody knows by the sound that they're in OKC. See, I like where your head's at. You should be in charge of the city. OK. All right. I want to move on to something else.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So, listener, Oklahoma City has been going through a bit of a renaissance and everybody votes to invest in the city. We have this all star basketball team, the Oklahoma City Thunder. There's a lot of beautiful development going on in downtown Oklahoma City. And there is a an art installation in downtown Oklahoma City. It is a ring. It's a circle.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Hello. Is this thing on? Okay. It's a listener. It is a circle that's in like a median. And if you think about the way OKC is spelled. No, it's like an art circle. Okay. Okay. Okay. And it says O-K-C, O-K-C, O-K-C all over it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I can't believe you're not using the... And then it's spelled, if you think about it, C-O-C-K, C-O-C-K. And it's the shape of a ring.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And Mayor, I apologize for my language, but somebody else put this there. It's called the cock ring. Yeah.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Exactly. Or, I mean, is this... And you're probably like, oh, that's so childish.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Working in secretive ways. Did these gays install a cock ring in the middle of the heartland? I don't know. I mean, these are just questions that I think are just asking questions. We'll put the picture of the cock ring for our YouTube watcher so you can see it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
But anyway, listen, listener, it is in a beautiful little intersection of all of this development that's going on in downtown Oklahoma City. But you are the boss of all the mayors, right? Yeah.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Oh, that's so amazing. So we were in Pennsylvania, and we were in Scranton, and their mayor comes up, introduces herself to us, Paige, and she immediately says, do you know David Holt? And I said, I do know David. I know him very well. And we took a selfie and sent it to you. But you're very popular among other mayors.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I think that's a very narrow-minded approach to have to life that you just have this one favorite.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
No, but right now, you know, I think a lot of people, half the country, half of your city are feeling really sad and isolated and maybe like they don't fit in, maybe like they don't belong. And as mayor, I follow you on all the social media and we've been friends for a long time since before you were mayor. Mm-hmm.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
You always make a point if it's gay pride month or the pride parade to be inclusive and to say, I, as your mayor, am here to celebrate with you. If it's Ramadan, you send out a tweet.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And if it's some of the Jewish holidays, the Christian holidays, you always make a point because you realize that so many of your citizens of this city are not the exact demographic and sexual preference and gender and all of the stuff that you are.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And I think that that's a really important component that's going to help people get through this is to know that on local levels, people that actually live around you accept you and want to see you as being equal. And want to see your life as being fair to everybody else's.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So what can you speak to a lot of our listeners who are, I mean, literally in the fetal position, terrified because we have a lot of LGBTQ plus listeners, and they feel like they're going to be even further marginalized.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
What do you, as a mayor of a 50-50 city, what message do you have for these people that feel so forgotten about and marginalized, both from the electorate and from the incoming administration? Mm-hmm.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
It's just like, shut it down. I'm going to flip the script and say... what's your favorite stupid question? Out of all the stupid questions you can ask somebody, what is your favorite one? That's what I want to know.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Well, I think it's really important that you say that because I think right now leadership, even though you only represent Oklahoma City. We've had Senator Bernie Sanders on, and he only represents Vermont. But the messaging, because of how close we all are now through social media and the instant delivery of news and of people's opinions, There are people outside of Oklahoma City.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
There are little, you know, we have a lot, again, a lot of LGBTQ plus people that live in these rural areas. And hearing somebody say, hey, you're accepted. I don't think you're any different than me. I think you have the same value as me goes an incredibly long way because. Sometimes I think these communities feel like, you know, the bullying gets it starts local and then it gets national.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And so I've been thinking a lot about you because listener, David is a Republican. You're the only Republican I've ever voted for in my life.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And when it comes down to it, I vote for you because you're so inclusive. And in being so inclusive, you don't really lose that many votes from the other side either. It's a... position that brings people together. And I think when you look at you were talking about the maps project and listener, that's where our city votes for tax increases to enhance the city.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And when you think about any time these issues are brought up on any ballot anywhere, if it's legalizing marijuana, if it's raising the state minimum wage, typically these ideas when they're brought without any personality representing them. People typically vote for security and the advancement of our species, like advancing together.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And I think that the instance of you being a mayor of a city that's 50-50, and everybody's pretty united. Of course, you've got, you know, you know, few jerks over here that are like, oh, he's too woke. And some over here saying you're not woke enough. And that's just always what it is. But I think when you most recently.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Exactly. See, that's the kind of fuck you attitude we need to bring to 2025.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
No, but I, I think that there's a big message in here for, as we look forward, uh, to something beyond partisanship and building consensus. And we start with a default setting of just everybody's welcome here. And don't go crazy. I'm not talking about immigration and all that. I'm talking about people that live in the cities they live in and live in this country right now.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
We need to be welcoming, accepting, and loving to all, don't you think?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I'm all in. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is the star of the show, a podcaster that far surpasses Joe Rogan and Call Her Daddy and all of those. She is the most famous woman in all of podcasting.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
pumps our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more right than the previous day is undefeated it's unparalleled we are the champions if you would like to see how bad we suck please join us in new york city in november for you know just some world-class shit talking that's right live live and in person that's right
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
pumps, our dog's diet is so important to us and making sure that they have food that they find to be delicious. And I want to know that it's healthy as well. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am with my subscription with Sundays. Sundays is a delicious dog food that my dogs love and it doesn't have to be stored in the refrigerator or freezer. It's air dried.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And so, and it has like a resealable bag. Cha-cha and tubs cannot get enough of it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
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I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Go to sundaesfordogs.com slash hadit. That's sundaesfordogs.com slash hadit. Or use the code hadit at checkout. All right, now we're going to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Okay. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had It or Hit It podcast.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
That's right, airport. That's right. And I can assure you after this podcast episode, the jet bridges and the gate situation, I think that's all going to be fixed. You just got to get that terrazzo. Okay. Had it or hid it, self-checkout.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
CVS? Yeah. Are you sure it's not the donation, the forced philanthropy? I'm 100% sure.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Let me ask you this. Do you think if you are doing the self-checkout, you're the one working, do you think you should get a discount?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So listen up, patriots, gayatriots, and natriots. All right. You know, I think everybody was paralyzed and sad, licking their wounds, moping around because of this election. And I know I sure was. Oh, gosh.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I don't think the end user is. I would probably say the board is. Yeah. think the end user is getting some sort of benefit. But that's a whole other podcast that we can add to the 40 that you're going to start listening to. That's right. That's right. Okay. Had it or hid it, book banning.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So I don't know. History's never kind to the book banners. Okay. Had it or hid it, selfies.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
You know, I think politicians right now need to be. anywhere, everywhere, all of us. I think you just, I think you got to do, I think you got to flood the zone. You got to do podcasts. You've got to do newspaper. You've got to do all of it. I think the media has changed in the way people get their news. And a lot of that is generationally. And so I think selfie it up. Okay.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
But I want all of you to know that, number one, we are still on the right side of history. Nobody can take that from us. And number two, we have to stop fighting. with the politics, integrity politics. And we need to begin the fuck you politics. Fuck you for lying to the American public and for all of those people that were lied to by MAGA.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Mayor Holt, thank you so much for joining us on Oklahoma City's hit podcast. The pride of Oklahoma City. The pride of Oklahoma City.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
You got some street cred. I love that. I love that. All right, listener, thanks so much for listening. Come see us in New York City at Town Hall Theater this Saturday, a matinee, because we care about your sleeping schedule. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And all of those people that are going to get marginalized by MAGA, do not be mean to them online. Say, hey, look, dumbass, we told you he was a liar, but we're here. Our tent is big. You can come over here when the economy tanks. You can come over here when they round up immigrants and deport them. You can come over here when they make gay marriage illegal. And all of these things were here.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
We tried to sound the alarm bells, but you were gaslit. And so our focus, instead of picking on each other, needs to be picking on the person that attempted a coup that lies to the religious right and tells them he's this big Christian. Meanwhile, he's fucking porn stars. That's where our focus needs to be.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And we need to focus on preserving democracy and preserving our right to free speech because we still have it. We still get to shit talk. That's what this podcast is about, is about shit talking and we're not giving it up.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
As far as Josh Welch temper tantrums go, it was about a three or four.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I thought it was hilarious. So in that vein, listener, and going back to where we are, If you have people in your lives that voted for Trump and then they are upset because they start to realize they were lied to, you can say, fuck you. I'm here for you, but fuck you. That's the lesson. You do not have to say, fuck you. You get what you deserve. Right. You say, fuck you. I'm here for you.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I know you were lied to. I know you bought into it. I know you went down a conspiracy rabbit hole. But we here at I've Had It are here for you. And our community is here for you. But listen up, listener. This is going to be a tough fight. It's going to be an ugly fight. It's going to be a brutal fight. But we still have the First Amendment.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And for us here at I've Had It, the First Amendment is shit talking. The First Amendment is telling Josh Welch, fuck you. Yeah. So that's where it is. That's where we are. Now, if some of you have tightened your circle because you just can't be around Trump supporters, I get it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I've been doing that for a very long time because it's difficult to face people that there's different levels of Trumpers, but especially the ones that, you know, feast on the racism and feast on the cruelty. Yeah. You can have a boundary with them. You don't have to actively scream fuck you to them.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
But every single day, we have to come together and form communities and support each other and remember that in all of these big economic centers, they're overwhelmingly blue. Mm-hmm. We have power and we still have it. And we have to stay together to fight this cause together. And that's why in this podcast, each and every Tuesday and Thursday, we're going to laugh. We're going to say, fuck you.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
one two three welcome to america's number one podcast now that we're in trump's america you just get to gaslight everybody we are larger than joe rogan we are the biggest podcasters in america and that's why we say I think it's time. You think it's time to pull the whole thing out? Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. All right, listen up. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And we're going to have fun. Kathy, our producers here, Kylie, Kathy, what's going on?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Yeah. I mean, that's those are the stories that are going to keep us going. Yeah, that's right. You know, if she can push through her explosive diarrhea, if pumps can shit in a styrofoam cup on the side of the highway, we can get through four years of Trumpism. That's right. I mean, we can do it. We can do it. We can do it. We have a special breed of cynicism.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
That we can all come together and fight this together. Our cynicism collectively equips us to deal with what's about to come. Our listeners are tough. We are tough. Yeah. She fought through the explosive diarrhea and made it home. What I love the most is she's answering questions back. All right, listener, today we have a very special guest and he has been a friend of mine for a very long time.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I have an answer for you. Okay. What is it? There was a war on Christmas. And Christmas won. Christmas won big time. Christmas won. It won and it continues to win. I even saw some stuff going up for Halloween. That's how resounding the victory has been.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And he is the president of the National Mayors Association. And he is the mayor of our great city. And his name is Mayor David Holt. And Oklahoma City, you might be thinking, why are you having a mayor on? Oklahoma City is like a 50-50 city. 50% voted red, 50% voted blue. So let's ask Mayor Holt, what the fuck? How do we do this? And I'm asking for leadership on a local level.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
We're going to start local. Yes. Yes. Just micro starts. Build to the macro. And I have a lot of questions for him. surrounding airport management that I want to address. Right. So without further ado, we're going to have to do a little switcheroo in the chairs for our YouTube viewers. Pumps is going to have to come over here next to me. And let's welcome Oklahoma City Mayor David Holt.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. I am so happy that the temperature is cooling. As you walk down the street, your feet are crunching in the leaves.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
But what really is the cherry on top of all of this is a Mongolian cashmere sweater from Quince. And they start at just $50.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices. And of course, they have premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. Also, everybody, Quince is about 50 to 80% less than other vendors. Get cozy in Quince's high quality wardrobe essentials. Go to quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash had it to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash had it. Pumps, when I think about what our podcasting life was like before Shopify, I just think about breathtaking incompetence.
I've Had It
Failed Trust Fund Baby
Addi is for premenopausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner.
I've Had It
Failed Trust Fund Baby
The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or medicine or other drug use. Addi is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your Addi dose.
I've Had It
Failed Trust Fund Baby
Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking Addi at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions, over-the-counter or herbal medications, or have liver problems. Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take Addi even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines.
I've Had It
Failed Trust Fund Baby
Do not take if you are allergic to any of the ingredients in Addi. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching or trouble breathing. Okay. I have some news. Okay.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
None of that surprises me. And I have just a little bit of advice for her. Get the fuck out. I mean, that is nuts. not paying your mortgage, your house going, but he's got an online flea market. So there's always stuff to buy. I mean, it's pitiful. That is pitiful.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
I don't think there's any question because it started with, well, Trump says what everybody else is thinking. Well, nobody else is thinking the crazy shit he says. Now you're saying it. Now you're rubber stamping sexual predators in office, fraudsters, you know, criminals getting out of jail. Like he is the worst of the worst and people like it.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
You're exactly right. I love that analogy. Where's that been all my life?
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Oh, my God. How fantastic is that? Okay, so wait, this is a French teacher? Yes. Which would be awesome to teach us French.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Well, yeah, because I have kids graduating, a kid graduating from college. Not in April. That's an L-I-E.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Right. Yeah. That would be the definite bonus. I mean, I'm not saying never, but I'm not today.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
So anyway, Shirley, I think you ought to tone it down. Jennifer's all for it. Yeah, I'm all for that.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
And I'm certainly not going to get mad enough to start texting about it. Here's the deal. As a shock to no one, I've heard about the diss track. I mean, I knew there was beef between Kendrick Lamar and Drake. But as I'm watching the Super Bowl halftime, I could not sing along to one song. Like, I didn't recognize it. What I loved, though, was all the dancing.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
I mean, I just thought it was a fantastic performance. And I didn't even know the words to any of the songs. And then I didn't know the backstory on Serena Williams. But I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so fucking cool. Well, and what surprised everybody.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Right. And black women, I'm so mad at white women right now ever since the election, but black women, they roll out, they're convicted, like you said, gay, straight, black, green, white, LGBTQ, they're in the fight because they are the most marginalized of all groups.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Keep on keeping on. What have you had it with? Okay, I'll tell you exactly what I've had it with. People that sing to overhead music in public like they're in their car alone. This happened to me twice this last week. One time I was waiting in a vet's office, And there's overhead music playing. And I hear like harmony and the la-las and like loud. So I look around. I'm like, is it echoing?
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
No, they're far bigger than just your masculinity problem. I'm so sick of hearing about masculinity. I could vomit in my mouth every five minutes.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Yeah. Here's my thing. If you have to tell me how alpha and masculine you are, I know immediately you're not. And I'm with you. I think it all boils down to massive insecurity. Massive.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
When she started saying that, I was like, oh my gosh, that's exactly who I thought of. And I don't think he ever played any kind of baseball. Never a stick ball, nothing with a stick and a ball. Yeah, no, she's 100% right. People go fucking crazy about their kids' sports.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
And we know I could go on and on and on about all these parents that think their child is the next LeBron James. And it's just like, shut the fuck up. They're not.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Well, they've been trying to regulate what's been going on in people's bedrooms since the dawn of time. But here's what I find interesting. This is the first time that I've ever heard they're trying to regulate against men. Usually they're regulating against women. Women are the recipients of the laws, the harshness, the slut labels, the slut shaming, all of those things.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
So now we've got life begins at erection, and you're only supposed to ejaculate if you're having sex again. trying to conceive. Now that strikes me that it will never go anywhere because men will not allow it. The patriarchy will be up in arms. No, it will. And, you know, they're starting to try to regulate like Pornhub.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Yes. See, where's the back? I'm surprised Mac is not up in arms over that. I mean, not out loud, of course, but they strike me as the type that would be all over Pornhub because anybody that's talking about sex that much and thinking about sex that much and other people's sex lives is watching porn.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
And therein lies the obsession. Or their passion. physically compromised, like teeny weenies. So they're not good performers. And they have issues with that. But I'm 100%. I have never, especially a school superintendent that has nothing to do with sex, sit around and talk about sex and LGBTQ sex. I mean, this guy is a nut.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
What's going on? I look around. One of the ladies that works there, she is just singing at the top of her lungs. And I look around at our coworkers, and nobody's acting like that's abnormal. I think it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen, that I was in an elevator. We're trapped in the world's slowest elevator, and the woman is singing out loud to the music. I've never seen anything like it.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
But everything with maggot, like the more they talk about it, the more that tells you they're thinking about it. And the more they're against it, the more it's projection, you know, they're doing it.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Okay, my two cents from personal experience on that article is one or both of the participants in the wedding, the bride or the groom, in my specific example, it was me, I was far more worried about the party, the ceremony, the dresses, the bridesmaids, the flowers, far more interested in that than I was the groom or the marriage that would follow the ceremony.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
So like the next day when I was married, I was just like, Oh, okay. So I can only imagine like 25-year-old me today with social media, all the performative nature, I'll make everything's performative. It probably would have been a thousand times worse, which is hard to imagine given the state of my marriage and what a disaster it was. I think it could be worse.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Yeah. Don't you think it's just they're more interested in the party and the ceremony than the actual marriage? I mean, yeah, I think so.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
I was making eye contact with this lady across from me. We were just like, what is happening? Like, I wasn't sure we weren't getting pumped. So here's my public service announcement. Unless you have a record label... Do not sing in public. That is private. No one wants to hear you ooh-la-laing and harmonizing because chances are you suck. It was unbelievable. So were they good at singing?
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Absolutely. I mean, being in divorce law, the number one thing, if I could go back and redo my life and advise my clients, don't quit working. Do not give up your access. to income and never, ever let your spouse put you on a budget and only give you a certain amount of money a month.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
You would be shocked how many people have a joint account and the wife stays at home, the husband puts in just enough for like groceries, gas, whatever, just the basic expenses. so that she is financially strapped and has no choices, is completely stuck in that routine while the rest of the money stays in an account with his name only. It's terrifying.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Well, I'm glad to hear that. You know, here's the thing. I don't necessarily, I mean, I know Josh has a beard. But when I envision what they're talking about, it's one of those long, nasty beards. But I really like kind of this clean shape. What would you call that? Like it's a close-shaven beard that Josh has. It's very groomed. I like that.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
And I don't feel like that is as bad as skirting because I see a lot of men that skirt with beards. They like have a big beard to hide like aging or spot. I don't know. I just feel like the big beards with the food in them are gross.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Okay, I will have to say this. The lady in the vet's office kind of had a good voice, but not anywhere near she needed to be singing and serenading the entire office by no means. But it wasn't like my voice terrible.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
So they're the only ones with school and district details and reviews from multiple sources, including Niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site ever. That's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors. It's the home search you've been searching for.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. Okay, who's next, Kylie?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yep. This is something I've been privy to for a very long time because I've always had a lot of gay male friends. And I remember when the apps first came out. I was over at my friend Scotty's house and our friend Harris was there and they were talking about the apps and I was like, let me see. I want to see what's on them. And they're like, yeah, this guy's married to a woman, has kids.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And then we'd go and then cross reference to their Facebook page. And it's the bio would be like, I love my wife, my kids and Jesus. Yeah. And then he's on Grindr. And it's just like, oh, my God. It's really, really – there's a lot of these DL men. And I think it's just so – I just think it's so –
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
A part of all of the anti LGBTQ backlash is that there is a lot of bi curious or just flat out closet case in the MAGA movement as evidenced by a lot of stuff that we've seen.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I think they're so jealous of gay men that can just have shame-free sex. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They're so liberated. You know, gay men are so liberated sexually and live these very, you know, sexually fulfilling lives. And they've done the work. They've come out of the closet, which is the bravest thing you can do. Out of the closet gay man is a million times braver and more masculine than any of these MAGA men.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Because coming out of the closet, especially in a red state where we live, it is judgment. It is lots of talks behind the back. It, you know, diabolical Christians telling you you're going to go to hell. Institutions that are set up to really demean their way of life. And also the gaslighting and saying it's a choice.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Okay. I have some news stories that I think are going to be rather interesting. Frida, a popular baby brand, is releasing a breast milk flavored ice cream. It's made to taste sweet, nutty, and slightly salty and includes nutrients found in real breast milk like vitamins, healthy fats, and calcium. The ice cream will be available in nine months. Callie, is that real?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Like, I feel like MAGA is so regressive. Like, do I really have to sit down and say, this is why I think dictatorships are bad and get out history books? Are we there? Do I have to say it's not? Communities are not good when we don't promote women as equals and then show all the evidence.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah. I just here's my thing about the breast feeders. It's been happening for a really long time. There was this movement back when we were having kids where all of a sudden they acted like it was this newly discovered way to feed a human. And in fact, it wasn't newly discovered, it's the original way to feed a human.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And it just sometimes you can find on social media or places where somebody's entire identity is breastfeeding. Yes. And I think it's fucking weird as shit. I think it's weird too. I don't think breastfeeding is weird. I think making breastfeeding your identity, bullying other people to breastfeed and overtly bragging about breastfeeding is is weird as shit.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I mean, if you think about it, it's a bodily function. It would be like bragging all the time about taking a solid shit. It's really not that remarkable.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Oh, there's it's, it's ubiquitous. And it's like, why, why do you care? Why do you care? Take care of your own baby, right? Be in charge of you. I'll be in charge of me. Okay, next up we have people who spend money on experiences rather than material possessions tend to be happier. And so here's what I have to say about this. For sure when I go on trips, I'm happy. Like that is a great investment.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That makes me really happy. But I have to add, when I'm on the trip, I kind of like buying material things. Yeah. And both of those things kind of go hand in hand for me.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
All right. Next up, we have 86% of Gen Z suffers from menu anxiety when dining in restaurants, with many too scared to order their own meals. Is that implying that somebody else is ordering their meals for them? Well, of course they are. They're mothers.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
This does not surprise me one bit because I have a senior in high school right now. And the conversations we're in, I have to say to the other parent, Romans 18, I'm going to let him figure that out. Like what time to get somewhere, what time to leave a place. where to take the money, I simply am shocked at the amount of adults that are phoning me about a Roman problem.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And so it doesn't surprise me one bit that the same set of women are probably sitting around Ordering their kids' foods. And then it further doesn't surprise me one bit that there is a crisis with young boys because they have been told and coddled on nonstop by their mothers. And the best thing we can do for our boys and girls is to teach autonomy.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And it just seems like the burden of this always falls on the left to go sit down with the dipshits and have regressive conversations. And I think we all have to draw boundaries and say, we're not talking to stupid. And you can hear them all say, oh, look, you're talking down to them. And I would say, you're goddamn right we are. I'm not going to have regressive conversations wherein
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
No, I think it's a huge problem. I think the expectation of children and the activities they're signed up for has increased. For sure. I think the parents' role – in the kids has increased. And I think some of the increase is good. I think dads being more involved in their children's lives is a positive thing. But with anything, I think sometimes it goes too far.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I think we've forgotten to prepare these kids for adulthood. And I think that is the biggest problem. And I think so many parents, they think, I don't want my kid to feel discomfort. And they just jump in front of their kids so that they don't feel it when actually the best thing for that kid, as painful as it is as a parent, is that the kid has to learn how to manage discomfort. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Because that's pretty much all adulthood is. That's it. It's all it is. Managing discomfort. Okay, Kylie. We have voice memos today.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I'll tell you what exactly what's wrong with this person. Kylie, put the put the bio back up. Love God. Love God. Love people. The rest takes care of itself. If you seek first his kingdom. OK, here's the issue with this guy. 100% goes to a megachurch. 100% the megachurch pastor teaches the prosperity gospel.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I have to explain why democracy is preferable to autocracy. It's insane. And like you have to explain to somebody, the countries with the best economies statistically and throughout history have the best governments. The best governments are typically democracies. It's just insane the burden that gets put on the left. Meanwhile, the right, it's like –
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And he probably cash apps and Venmo's his megachurch pastor after a light little swim in the dunk tank. All right. And then he starts getting this idea, I'm going to do it too. And somebody else at the church is doing it. And they're like, oh my God, the power of prayer in God. Like, I put it on Facebook to give me $5. And then it's a pyramid scheme. Right. It's a Ponzi scheme.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
The whole lot of them. Yes. The whole lot had it. All right. Who's next?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Here's the thing about MAGA. They think the rules that apply to everybody else don't apply to them. They bathe in hypocrisy. They bask in double standards. And they can call all of these ugly names to everybody. And if you look at them and say, you're a racist and you're a dumbass, oh... What are you, a virtue signaler? And it's just like, number one, I don't even engage with these people.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Step one, remove all from your life. I mean, that's like the best thing you can do. Because this is, for me, this is different than like when Mitt Romney was running against Obama. This is a completely different beast for me. And I think people that are in MAGA and MAGA politicians need to be called out and drilled and made fun of for their idiocy, for their moral duplicity.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I think we should do it with impunity. These are the people in which history is not going to be kind to. These are the people that have voted for a man that's dismantling democracy, that likes to pick on gay people and trans people for sports because it makes these broken Christians feel better somehow to pick on people or to be racist. It makes them feel superior in some way.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I think we got to start calling it out. And I'm going to tell you one thing I've just really had it with. When you look at black women, 90 something percent all voted one way. White women. Nope. And I've had it with these white women that are just enablers to this patriarchal system. But then they act like they're cool boss bitches when they're peddling their multi-level marketing shit.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They do all of this shit, lie, make shit up with impunity. And the double standard of that drives me crazy. And I will not, I don't want to sit down with dipshits and have aggressive conversations.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I'm a boss bitch and you know, and it's just fuck off. If you, you know, if you're not going to vote for women, then stay at home and be a trad wife. Otherwise sit down and shut the fuck up and let the real boss bitches take over. It really pisses me off. White women, not all, cause there's some that have really fought a good fight, but there is a group and they are everywhere in Oklahoma city.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Everywhere, everywhere. And it is just a gross double standard where they know what crowd they're in. They know when to act like they're open-minded and they know when they're in their Bible study. It's their safe place to be more hateful about minorities and pro-Trump.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I really can't. I can't. I'll tell you what I will never understand is how people can have a child that's a member of the LGBTQ plus community. and look at Donald Trump and see that he tried to give a microphone a blow job and all of the hateful, horrible shit he says, and then go vote against your child.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That is a level of cold black heartedness that I cannot relate to, that is sociopathic, it is diabolical, it is breathtakingly selfish, because at the end of the day, you're sending a message to your child My love for you is conditional. That's what that vote says. My love for you is conditional. It's not unconditional. Well, and also I think they justify it because of the economics.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Which is even more disgusting. Money over people, which that's a whole thing. It's even more... That's even worse to say I value money more than I do you. But that's... I've heard that before is what I'm saying. Yeah. I think it's really... I think that it's really disgusting. And Trump has exposed a lot of these people and they can't run from it anymore, especially the triple Trumpers.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And it is... I just think triple Trumpers, fuck all of them. Fuck all the way off. If you voted for that motherfucker three times and you never thought Something's not right with him. There's no help. There is no help in bullshit on the economy stuff at that point. Right. Bullshit.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Because most of these people, if they voted for him three times, know enough to know that he is bad at business and that Republicans always wreck the economy every single time. And if I hear one more white Republican say I'm fiscally conservative. I'm going to take this computer and just bash people over the head with it because I cannot take it anymore.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They justify being hateful, homophobic bigots all in the name of fiscal conservatism, which is a total jet stream of bullshit. I had it. Listener, as you know, Pumps and I are barely competent Gen Xers. So when we started this podcast and you fabulous listeners recommended that we have merch, we literally did not know what to do. But thank goodness there is a company called Shopify.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And Shopify is often the business behind the business that can help two incompetent Gen Xers like none other than Pumps and me actually sell merch to all of you fine people. Shopify took the overwhelming and made it manageable and actually made it easy. It really is so user-friendly. Listener, upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash hadit, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash hadit to upgrade your selling today. Shopify. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX's Dying for Sex, all episodes now streaming on Hulu.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
This reminds me of when Princess had her back surgery. Princess had her back surgery and the ex-husband sent a 95 contact deep message. Princess just got out of surgery. God works miracles.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah. Okay. Here's what I've decided. I used to say that I wanted the Facebook doctors in tents in the hospital parking lot. I would like to permanently change the permanent record on that. I'm going to relocate to a new venue. That's one of my favorites. So let's see. New venue. Okay. Mega church parking lots. You can't even go to the hospital grounds.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
If you're going to cherry pick science and you're going to look at somebody like her who worked hard because of her studies and then helped her patient. And they did all of this time together. And then at the end, very dismissive, dismissively say, God works miracles after she spent all of these weeks and hours doing it. You don't get to have that therapy.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You need to go to the mega church Facebook hospital because these mega churches, this is where a lot of this anti-vax stuff is going around is in these mega churches too. And I recently was at a,
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
at a basketball game and this woman said to me that she was allergic to her cats and I was like was there anything that can be done it was like a late in life developed allergy and she goes well no because I don't believe in any form of vaccine or shot so he said there's nothing he can do to me and I just thought you know Five years ago, she would have believed in that. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And now we're not believing in that. But if there's a cancer that this person gets, she's going to want to go to an oncologist. Right. And she's going to want to say, do whatever you can do if this is a curable cancer. And so I think everybody's entitled to health care. But I think if you're going to cherry pick when you want it, the megachurch needs to host the Facebook doctors. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Oh, I was going to tell you. So I'll just tell you on the podcast. I was on Instagram or something last night and it had, it was Time Magazine or something, had like the West Wing floor plan. Okay. And so it had like, you know, like a, you know, Oval Office, Oval Office dining room and had everybody's offices on the first floor.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And on the second floor is that Paula White, the White House faith advisor.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Is the tongue talker. For a thousand dollars, you can get blessings. Yes, the grifter and the tongue talker is on the second floor of the Oval Office. And I just thought, and when you look at all of the people there, it's like it's a crusty white people parade. And every time I see Trump on TV, you always just look behind. It's like these crusty old white people. Right.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You know, you just know the minute you see them, like if you were to walk into a party and those people were there, you'd be like, oh, fuck, I'm only staying here like two minutes and we're out the door. Immediately. Immediately. You Kegel, you know, just it's an immediate like your body just like I don't want to be around these crusty white people.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
But think about the person who invites them. We always have to go back to that. This is a fat ass that puts on orange makeup every single day, swoops his hair in a little loop-de-doo to cover up his bad implants or whatever it is up there. Failed. Bad implants. Failed, yeah, hair implants. And we saw that picture the other day where he had his britches hiked up to his tits.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Here's something I kind of noticed. So when he was going through his felony trial, he got thin, like the stress was wearing on him. There was a marked weight loss because you and I talked about it and we pulled up images and we did a thorough investigation into the matter. I've noticed now that he's back in the oval that he's put on a few more pounds.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think he's McDonald's-ing it a little bit more. You can tell he's not as stressed anymore. Right. I think he's gained. So I do think some Ozempic might be good.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think he does. I think he thinks he's like super attractive. And I'm just going to say this back to the white women. I think you see like all those Mar-a-Lago women and you see in the background when they're like the Instagram stories at Mar-a-Lago. I think they'd all fuck him. I do. You do? I do.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think there is a lot of women down at Mar-a-Lago that just think he is the greatest thing on the planet and would fuck him. I do. Even with that smell? Yes, I do. They voted. They triple trumped it. I'm telling you, these are people that are like worship wealth, wealthy people in capitalism.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
that type of white person just like worships it where they throw away all principle, all morals, all character, all decency and excuse all of the terrible things the person does simply because they're wealthy and they're attracted to that. And I think that whole Mar-a-Lago thing is just like this idol worship of this completely broken man. And I just want to tell you, I really want like A moment.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I wish there were like hidden cameras places because I do think there's something kind of joyful in seeing them go, oh, fuck. I really fucked up. I know that's fucked up about me. I don't know what that says about me, but there's a part of me where I'm like, I hate that this brings this out of me because I'll vote for you. I'll vote for your right to have social security.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I'll vote for your right for your gay kid to not be shamed and to have equal rights. If your daughter falls in love with your white blonde daughter falls in love with a gorgeous black man, I'm going to fight for their right to have a mixed race marriage until the day I die. But I want desperately to see a little bit of and I told you so situation with some of these people. No, I agree.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I know that's fucked up about me. I know. It's a bad one. Listener, do you guys feel that? Comment below if you do. I think, is that all we have for today? I think that's it today. Is that the end? Kylie, so nobody, nobody is wearing a MAGA hat. Nobody is wearing a MAGA hat. No, I just don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it either.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
homophobia, it can't be bought, it can't be purchased, or you're not. To me, if you would wear it for a 24-hour period, it's no different than these women and men, these country club Republican people that know better, that vote that way for their tax break. And so that's why I don't think any of us can do it. It's just so, like you said, it's like a KKK hat. Hood. Hood. No, it is.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think it's going to be really hard for people. And I think that the burden should be on the citizen to go find the facts. And, you know, people that watch Fox News aren't super proud of it. At least the people that I know, they kind of deny it. But you can always tell when they watch it because they immediately spout Fox News talking points.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That's what I think it is. And I just want to point out something very, that the KKK and MAGA have in common. Evangelical Christians. Mic drop. Make up both. In large majorities. Large majorities. Mega churchers, which is where the new Facebook hospitals are going to be.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You know why they want to do away with higher education? It's not that it's indoctrination. It's deprogramming. Well, and it prevents indoctrination. Because... No, you're indoctrinated as a child. Your religion isn't a choice. It's a default. No, I know. But so then you get to higher ed and you get deprogramming. Right. It deprograms you, which is the opposite of indoctrination.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah, they do. Well, fascism does better with a dumbed down electorate. Right. All right. Listen, we have merch. We have a book. We have HPIC. Tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Like if Bernie Sanders comes up, they'll say, oh, he has a vacation home. And that's a Fox News talking point. Or back when Kamala was first announced, the first talking point was, oh, she cackles and speaks in word salad. And that's a Fox News talking point. And you can always tell. But then if you ask them, oh, do you watch Fox? Oh, no, no. I watch CNN. I'm like, motherfucker.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
you no more watch CNN, which equally has its own set of problems. But it's not as bad a propaganda as Fox. But I think the burden should be on people to vet their news. And it's like, we've lowered the bar so low for these people. And I feel like there is a we enable them. Yeah, we're going to come talk to you. We're going to come try to get you to come our way.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
who do you think is picking up your trash after you why do you think you're so special you don't have to pick up your own trash it grosses me out really it's a huge turn off for me movie theaters are another place where it's really bad yeah so I mean when I go to the movies with Josh and the boys we'll all stand up and I look down and I'm like everybody grab your stuff and there always has to be a leader and the trash and you're very good about that
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And I think we just need to keep moving along for along with progress. And I simply say to people, I believe in human rights and democracy. And most of the time the Fox viewer goes, oh, well, I do too. And I'm like, well, your vote would tell me otherwise. If you voted for Trump, you don't believe in human rights or democracy.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
He said that he was going to be a dictator and you would never have to vote again. He said that. So that's antithetical to democratic ideals. And so I just I think we have to quit enabling these people, coddling these people, trying to go their way. They voted for this. They're going to suffer the consequences of it.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
We're going to keep voting on your behalf because that's the kind of people we are. But on a case by case basis, I don't have a whole lot of empathy for you. And I'm going to go a little bit further. A part of me is kind of excited. That some of these country club Republicans that I know are looking at their 401ks right now going, motherfucker. Because you know what?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They deserve to feel that pain. The country club Republicans, the white Republicans that you and I know who try to make it okay to vote for Trump.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Do you get a little joy on the inside thinking about it? Part of me kind of does. Yeah, I do too. Now, the rural people who have, the whole system has disappointed them. Their hourly wage has disappointed them. You know, I have more empathy for them. Yes. But for the educated people, voter that knows better, that did it anyway, because they wanted to save a few thousand dollars in taxes.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That's the person when they see their 401k where I just want to be like, how's that going for you? Yeah. Aren't you happy you voted for Trump?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
What made you think he would be so good for the economy? I mean, he's filed bankruptcy. How many is it? Seven times? And casinos were part of that.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I love how you didn't even miss a beat with the intro. I'm Angie, HBIC, the head beaver in charge. Head beaver in charge. Okay. I have a question I have to ask you before we go to Kylie.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
This is something I've been thinking about. How much money would it take for you to do the following? Okay. You start in LA at your hotel and you have to wear a MAGA hat all day during what I'm about to tell you. You have to wear a MAGA hat. You cannot say, I'm getting paid to do this.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You have to smile at people and act like it's totally normal and that you're wearing a hat that says like, okay, see thunder on it. Like it's just normal. It's your team and you're wearing your team's hat. So you would have to go in an Uber and then go through LAX. Yeah. And then you'd have to stop in Denver, switch planes, and you're going to be seated like second row of each flight.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
So front and center. And then you're going to fly to Atlanta, and then you're going to fly to Chicago, and then you're going to end at like JFK or LaGuardia. I'm talking four flights, MAGA hat the entire time. You cannot, under any circumstances – So I'm getting paid for this. I hate him. I think he's a dick. And further, if somebody says, what the fuck's going on with your MAGA hat? Fuck you.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You have to be like, what are you talking about? He's great. He's the best president ever. Yeah. How much? Okay. Is this over a course of like a couple of days? No, it's one day. It's you're starting at like five, 6am. You're doing two, two stops ending in New York coast to coast, baby. MAGA. MAGA hat. It's going to have the 45, 47 on it with the flag. I mean, it's the full-blown red MAGA hat.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I'm always picking that. You're very good about like when there's trash. You always do a big sweep. Like if we're all in a car together or on a plane, you always are like, I'm doing a trash run.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I really don't. You know what? Josh asked me this question like a couple weekends ago. And I was sitting there trying to come up with a number. And I just thought, I just don't know that I could do it. I don't think... that I could wear that, considering I think it's a modern-day swastika or a modern-day Klan's hood, KKK style hood.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I don't think there is a bank account deep enough that I could do that for a full day and then ever feel good about that money because I would always know that was blood money and it was bullshit and I wasn't principled. And I think this moment requires... unrelenting conviction and principle. Agreed.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think they're doing it provocatively. You and I were in L.A. with Austin's show, remember? And there was a gal that just parades right in. young with a MAGA hat on and you and Austin come out from ordering to the table. And she, I think she's doing, I think she did it provocatively. She's in West Hollywood, gay district, gay as fuck. I think she did it to be a cunt.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Well, and what was so funny about it is she solicited us to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom, remember? Well, as soon as I saw her with her hat on, this was during the election, I put on my Harris Walls camo hat. Yeah, you did. You did do that.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
So I don't know if she was just being provocative. No, I think she's MAGA, but I think there are MAGA people that are provocative about MAGA. And then there's people that are embarrassed. Right. That know better. So, I mean, there's no question she's MAGA. Okay, Kylie, what about you?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think it's, I'm telling you guys, I think the MAGA movement and the MAGA hats, it's KKK, it's swastika. There's just, and people on the right go, oh, they call us Nazis. They call us racist. Well, quit doing Heil Hitler's if you're not Nazis. Right. It's real simple. Yeah. It's just it's not that hard.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That is a great one. Speaking of a pride of lesbians. So y'all know, listener, that Pumps and I are really, we love Renee Stubbs, the Australian tennis player. Like, I love her. But also, she bugs the shit out of me to follow on Instagram because she's always out doing cool shit with cool people, putting on our story. And I'm always responding like, ugh.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
No, that's a big problem. I'll tell you, Josh is the ringleader of taking out the trash in my house. Like, it could only be half full. And he looks down and he goes, I'm just going to go ahead and take it out because, you know, in a couple of minutes, it's going to be full. So he does a preemptive strike and takes it out early. I like that. Yeah. I know it's... Yeah. It's right up my alley.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Well, the other day she's, you know, posting, she's like at the, you know, March Madness Games. Right. And she's like on court side, cool shit, cool people. And I respond, you're always doing cool shit with cool people. And she responds back to me, I'm lesbian. This is what we do. She just owned it. Like I'm French, you know, just I'm lesbian. I always want to respond to her. Where are you now?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com slash had it and get on your way to being your best self. Listener, I've been so stressed out lately with work. I've got one son graduating from college, one son graduating from high school. So many milestones, so many emotions.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I am able to ground myself each week in the luxury of my own home with my BetterHelp therapist.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
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Trump Thinks He's Hot
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I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
That's something I have noticed in my life, like exceptionally beautiful people. I feel like they have average looking kids, but I know a few people that are just unbelievably attractive. And I think their parents are below average. So I think there's something to like the unattractive kind of makes attractive.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Well, you know what they say. The opposite of love is not hate. Right. It's ambivalence. I think that's apathy. It's always been ambivalence when it comes to divorce.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Oh, no question. No question. If he didn't point to Africa, like a continent, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
You know what's interesting? The way he explained the lonely flower, that was kind of heartwarming to me. Like that's a picture I can get behind.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
It is. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. In the spirit of our new year, I have had it with people piling on the same saying. So about six months ago, I heard around the time of the Olympics, give her her flowers. Give him his flowers, meaning they should get credit. Their performance deserves praise.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
All bark, no bite. Well, it's also the perfect example of a small wiener. I mean, that just jumps off the page to me. It's been a while since you started talking about penis size. 2025, yeah. 2025, we're going to start talking about small penises. That is little dick syndrome, little dick energy like I've never seen it. Comes around.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I mean, he's obviously not going the direction you are, but he flips it around so he can give you his neon light finger and then won't look at you. That is a pussy.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Right. I would say that's probably right. We are probably the evidence for that. Because Kylie always bitches about how we walk so fast and she doesn't. Do we think Kylie's happier than we are? Um... Kinda.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think that's excellent. That is great news. You know, paternity leave wasn't a thing when we were younger and having kids. I had never heard of it. But now we know men that are taking paternity leave, and I think it's super important. And I think this generation, millennials, Gen Z, what I've been most impressed by with them is that they are destroying gender stereotypes. And to hear that...
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I hear give him or her the flowers three or four times a day on different clips, social media. I've had it. Why do we all have to say the same thing? There's no originality in sayings. Everybody has to say the same thing. I'm not against people praising. performance, or any other thing, form of success.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Men are taking on responsibility and the tasks aren't so male-female. I think that's great news. I do too.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I do too. I remember going to dinner or going on a girl's trip and my ex-husband would call me 57 times. I'd have to leave spiral notebooks of stuff to do with the kids. And that's bullshit. I mean, that's just bullshit. They're your fucking kids. Take an interest. Be a parent. So I just think that's nothing but good news. And I think it'll be good for the kids eventually. Okay.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
You know, before you said globally, I was going to assume that the sperm count in the United States was down because in Trump's America, beta males thrive and we sit on our computers and we are hateful and misogynistic and racist. But the fact that it's global, I can't blame that on Trump. I'd like to. I'd like to find a reason to blame it on him. But, you know, that doesn't surprise me.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Sedentary. We're on our computers more as a society. You know, the hunting gathering days are more like on an app on your phone ordering stuff. So that's not necessarily a surprise to me.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
You can say I'm a bitter old hag and that's true, but I do cheer for other people to have good things, but I fucking had it with the jumping on and repeated use of the phrase. Give him or her the flowers.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
In 20 years. Skirting. We've been anti-skirting. For a long time. The whole world is set up now to skirt the system. Right. How can you do less to get more? Absolutely right. I mean, I was just thinking when you were saying that, like I grocery shop when I get up first thing in the morning and it's at my house when I get home from work. You know, I don't have to go to the grocery store anymore.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Right. Of course, I will never give up my GLP-1. That's my favorite thing on planet Earth. So, you know, I'm a skirter. Yeah, I am too. I'm a total skirter. I get it. But I do not think you can underestimate how the skirting is going to affect long term.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah. Okay. I have a question on that. It just reminded me. If Americans are taking more pills, I can believe that. Do you think with all the ads for all the erectile dysfunction shit that we have, you know, we've got wipes, we've got pills, we've got cream. I see it all the time on ads.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Do you think American men are taking more erectile dysfunction, some type of medication, supplement, whatever, than European and other countries?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah. And fortunately, I think I'm stuck with the curtains. You could go. There's a plastic surgery for that. I know. I've told that story on the air before. Okay.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Always, but that doesn't surprise me at all because the meanest people I know are evangelical Christians. White evangelical Christians are the cruelest, most toxic people I've personally ever met in my life. Well, it shows itself off on Fox News for sure. Kylie, what's next?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I just think that's, you know, I just think you're asking too much. You have 40 something percent of the population that voted for a man that is a convicted felon. So they're OK with crimes. They're OK with lies. And a percentage of the American public, the triple triple Trumpers. are okay with immoral behavior because these people are morally flawed.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Here's the thing. The only part I disagree with that is the Trump Derangement Syndrome. But the get help, you're off the rails, I totally agree with. Right. Yeah. I relate to that. Off the rails, yes. Nailed it. And the one star, we're not for everybody. But I take issue. I think the Trump Derangement Syndrome is just classic projection. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
They're the ones that are deranged by him and they're projecting that other people aren't because we critically think and don't believe the lies. When we hear a man say, why don't you just take bleach, inject bleach into the veins and just clean it all out? I'm able to deduce that that is a bad idea.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Hey, a review's a review. Yeah, but I don't want him to tank our rating.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yay! I forgot to say, welcome to America's top DEI podcast. We're DEI podcast. Yeah. And actually, at this podcast, Seth, our other editor, is a heterosexual white male, and I call him our DEI hire.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I saw on, it was Instagram, I think, that somebody wrote, maybe triple Trumpers, maybe they're nice to their pets, maybe they're nice to their families, but these are deeply flawed, toxic people. And that's the truth. We cannot make excuses for these people. All of us have Trumpers in our lives. I think all of us would say these are the most toxic people in our lives.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Okay, I have some news stories I would like to review with the class today. A study has found that one in five corporate executives are psychopaths, the same rate among prisoners. I'm surprised it's not higher.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Are you saying that you were in your 20s 10 years ago? No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, that is lies. I want to go give us a one-star review and say the older beaver is lying about her age.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
All right, next up we have deleting your long paragraph and texting back okay is a different level of self-control. It's a sign of emotional regulation, the ability to manage intense feelings without reacting impulsively. When you're healing, you begin to realize that not every trigger deserves a full emotional response.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Sometimes you write the paragraph to process your feelings, but delete it to protect your peace. That simple okay. It's not about shutting down. It's a conscience boundary. It's the moment you choose self-respect over emotional chaos. It's the shift from needing to be heard to being okay with not being understood by everyone. That's not cold. That's clarity. That's healing.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I found this and I thought, okay, this is so true because I used to just fucking go hot. Like if something triggered me, I would just blast back. Yeah. I mean, I would just be like... And I'm sure that comes as a huge surprise to our listeners. But I would say probably like the last five years, I've really like...
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
There are just certain things that happen where I'm just like, I just I don't care enough. I don't care enough to respond. And I do agree with what this this is Mr. Underscore psychologist on Instagram says that you can write your ass chewing text. And then you can go up and delete it and replace it with an okay.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Because sometimes it's just cathartic to get it out of you, but not deal with the aftermath and then having to manage that person's emotions anymore when you send them how you really feel. Sometimes how I feel about somebody is just my business. And I don't really need that person to know that I think they're a piece of shit.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
The most the lowest emotional intelligence, the lowest intellectual intelligence are these people. They're broken and they're damaged and they are 100 percent fine. with the lies coming from the White House press secretary because she hates the same people they hate.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I always, for the most, there is one lady recently and she had this, she started the conversation with me and she'd been listening to Tucker Carlson's podcast and started all this crazy, like pro-Putin conversation.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And she sent me a couple of texts and I just, I've completely ghosted her because I'm just like, life's short and I don't want to hang out with somebody who gets their news from the dumb factory. Yeah. I just don't like I don't want to have a conversation with you about Tucker Carlson's theory about Vladimir Putin because it's a waste of time. It's a complete waste of time.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I'm thinking this woman, she's a wealthy white woman. She knows better and she chooses to spend her time trafficking in Tucker Carlson's podcast. You know, like that's just, you're just not a candidate to be my friend. You're not a candidate to be my text buddy. Sure as fuck never playing pickleball with you ever again. I don't hate you. I don't like you.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You're just simply not worthy of any response from me because life is too short to spend it with the dipshits from the dumb factory, from the dumb factory. All right. My last one. is people who use profanity tend to be more honest and show higher levels of integrity. Studies show that people who curse more often tend to be more honest.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Those who use profanity more frequently may be less likely to deceive or lie in social interactions. And I want to say to that, you're goddamn right. Fuck yes, is what I have to say. Yeah. And I want to say this. I notice sometimes that people in our comment section will say, I love this show, but these ladies shouldn't cuss that much. And these are from liberal viewers, liberal listeners.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And if you get on the internet long enough, you see that like Pod Save America, Joe Rogan, any other podcaster, they can throw an F-bomb if they're male. And it's never a thing. But even within the progressive movement or the centrist movement or leftist movement, there's this expectation that women shouldn't cuss. But everybody else, all the men get to cuss all they want to.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And I've had it with that. I think it's such bullshit. Furthermore, I think it was William Shakespeare that said in Romeo and Juliet, a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, talking about the last name of the Montagues and the Capulets and just how stupid it was to put so much emphasis on that. And haven't we evolved? past like the word fuck and it being that big of a deal.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
We have a convicted felon in charge of the United States of America that's intentionally face planning the economy and deporting people to a concentration camp. But Jennifer and Angie, the DEI podcasters say fuck and we got our panties in a wad and we're going to clutch our pearls. Stop listening. Go find another podcast. I can't deal with it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It totally is. And there's this expectation that women, you know, oh, they're supposed to be ladies and little girls and blah, blah. And it's just this infantilizing of women is something that I think is such a dangerous thing. And you see like little girls and their parents just completely infantilize them even when they're up to 25 or 30 years old. And it just, it doesn't help your daughters.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It doesn't help the movement. Societies are much better, much, much better when women and men can equally say fuck with either the same amount of judgment or the same amount of acceptance. Right. Well said. Thank you. You didn't go to the dumb factory. I didn't go to the dumb factory. I refused to go to the dumb factory. My whole life I fought off against it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Being an atheist in the buckle of the Bible belt, constantly recruited, told how I was going to hell. Here's something else I think is fucking nuts. I think it's fucking nuts to tell people you're born a sinner. You're born a fuck up. I don't think that's a very healthy thing to say to people. I think people are inherently good. I don't think people are inherently bad.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I think people are inherently good. And I think a religion that goes around telling people you're inherently bad, I think that's kind of abusive to children. Because you know what an advocate for children I am.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
But you don't have this feeling like I was born bad of sin and shed every ounce of that. No. Yeah. No. But I mean, don't you think that's kind of, I mean, having been told that. Don't you think that's pretty screwed up to tell little kids?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah. I think that's just, I think it's better to be like, I know deep down you're a good boy or you're a good girl. Or you're a good person, you know, whatever. I know deep down that you want to do the right thing. I think that's a better starting point than saying you're an absolute sinner and Satan has a stronghold on your heart. But this is the only thing you have to do to be a better person.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah. You know, I always picture like, you know, because you hear from your, we hear from our gay friends. They're on Grindr, right? And there's all these guys that are married to women and go to churches and all this stuff. And then they're going over doing gay stuff with gay men on Grindr. And then I wonder, like, after they get their rocks off, you know,
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You know, like when they get home, do they have like a prayer? Like, God, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to go chase that cock anymore. I know I'm bad. I know I shouldn't do it. You know, like what is the process through that? Because then they think, God forgives you. You've been saved. You've been born again. So all you have to do is just say sorry. And here's the thing.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I don't really care that somebody goes and has gay sex. What I care about is that that person will attend and be a part of an organization that marginalizes and demeans gay people. There's no oxygen with me and my allyship to the gay community. I will give no space, no oxygen to any church, institution, politician that even suggests That gay people are wrong. There's no space for that.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It is the biggest deal breaker for me on the planet. The biggest.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Now that there's all this, you know, like tech stuff, I think that we need to have like hackers for good. And we need all of these evangelical preachers and like the people that work in the youth group, all the people that are in the like offices of these mega churches that just completely rip off the public. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And we need to hack into their Google search histories, porn hubs, social media accounts, DMs, and then just release it all.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's so guarded. But a lot of this leads to like it starts – When you have shame about doing something, like a lot of these evangelical preachers are probably gay and or bicurious. In my world and in your world, there's no shame in that. But in their world, there's horrific shame.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I mean, one of the singular motivations of all of evangelical Christianity is to protect all of these wonderful marriages with the straights. Right. Right. Like that's their big, big movement. And so I think when you have something that you feel shame about and you do it on the DL all the time, it can turn into an addiction and all addictions escalate each time.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Like you have that, uh, there was this guy, he was a mega church guy in Colorado. I can't remember his name. But he was all this anti-gay from the pulpit. And then he ends up doing poppers with some gay escort. They're doing butt stuff and poppers. And, you know, and then it's all over the news. And then you got that Senator Larry Craig that was trying to get laid at like the Minneapolis airport.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Let me tell you this. Say the guy, the hypothetical guy you're bringing home to your mom and dad was a billionaire. And he said he was a Christian and he had learned his lesson and he hated the same types of people that they hated. I think you'd find a caveat carve out. You do? Well, fuck yes, you do. If he was a billionaire and did a little praise Jesus. You forgot why. White.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Right. And so, yes, they have, you know, they probably have some security. But I do think when you are doing something that's normal for you, that should be normal for you. But the societal and religious constructs tell you it's naughty and terrible and it's a sin and there has to be a human sacrifice in order for it to be atoned and all this crazy shit.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Then I think it can turn into higher risk, higher risk, higher risk behaviors and it gets demented within that prism. And I think they're so jealous of all of these gay people and the gay parades and they get so triggered by the pride parade because deep down they envy that kind of honesty.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
and that type of authenticity, but they're incapable of living it because of all of the religious and societal constraints that they don't have enough conviction to stand up to.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
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Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Maybe said a couple of off colored remarks about minorities. That'd be hook, line, sinker all in on it. And that's the thing. That's the that's the big lie of Trump. And that's the exposure of Trump to these people. If you're rich and you're white, you can be a piece of shit. But if he was this was a poor guy or a black guy that you brought home.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids, so they're the only ones with school and district information. details, and reviews from multiple sources, including niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home best.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
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I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I love him. I feel like... That's like a soulmate potential for me. Yeah, that's an A++. That's just like, that's my love language. Just browbeating the insanity and the horrible taste of evangelical churches. And probably people on the coast or international listeners don't get it. You don't get what a toxic poison evangelical Christianity is in places like Oklahoma.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And then look at all those red states in the South. I mean, it's like large percentage white evangelical Christians. And all of these churches, every single one of them, not only is it about architecture, one of their number one platforms, go to all their websites. We believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You're goddamn right your family would take issue with it. But if you brought home some born-again billionaire who was a bullshit artist, he'd tap dance all over them and win them over hook, line, sinker just the way Trump has. I'm afraid to say you might be right. Yeah. It's a burden being right all the time. It really is. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
My favorite was Sarah Palin. OK, so John McCain's running against Obama in 2008. Right. And so Steve Schmidt was his like campaign manager. Now he's a he's a part of the he's like a never Trumper Lincoln Project type guy. But he realizes like, oh, fuck. John McCain's an incredible candidate. He's a moderate Republican, Vietnam vet, the whole nine.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
But he's up against this once in a generation, good looking, smart, sharp as a tack, well spoken as fuck, Barack Obama. And there's this movement building. So he has to have a game change candidate. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So he picked Sarah Palin, who she and she and George W. Bush to me, like they set the groundwork to they set the psychological soil for the American public to accept dumb people in charge of stuff. George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. So she's dumber than a box of hot rocks. Right. And she has all these kids. It's like twig, leaf, branch. Yeah, I remember. Root.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You know, it's like all these whisper, willow, you know, chrysanthemum. Those are her kids. And she's got like 10, right? And so she's all about like... I believe in traditional family values. And I believe in abstinence only. And she's a huge, you know what, white, evangelical, megachurch, hand-waving Christian. Well, Chrysanthemum, or one of her kids...
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
gets knocked up during the campaign right i can't remember if it was during the campaign or right after and as a teenager and then you know now her other son i think is like roughed up a girl and been in uh possibly arrested. I think she and Todd Palin or her husband at the time, you know, they were supposed to be America's family that looked like all America. They're divorced. Right.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
You know, it's just a total hypocritical shit show. And I think the government has no bloody business telling people how to be families.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Especially Especially those families. Right. Do not exalt those families. Especially, I mean, you named your kid after a bunch of tree parts.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I've had it with Jesus Christ advertising on television. Yeah. So many. I saw this ad keeps popping up, and it's like, Jesus, he gets us. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, stop. Stop. This is the most famous person of my lifetime. You cannot go a block in the state of Oklahoma without seeing Christ, Christian, or Jesus, or something. Now we're running ads? Jesus Christ is advertising?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I tell you what, you guys, Pumps and I have seen two MAGA hats together in two years, two and a half years. That's it. One was we were leaving Walmart, which Pumps likes to shop at Walmart. I went with her and there's a woman that walked in with a MAGA hat. And the other time was inauguration day. And we were at this cafe that we eat breakfast at like two or three days a week.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's like a greasy spoon American diner. And on inauguration day, this woman is in there and she has like American flags and she has on her MAGA hat. And pumps and I, I mean, I felt like I wanted to do violent things. Like I felt like I hate her and I stared at her accordingly so that she knew, like, I know, I know what's in your heart, bitch. I fucking know.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And you can go to your mega church and you can put live, laugh, love on your, with a Christian cross on your profile and you can free base Fox news out of your goddamn Stanley cup. But I know. I know you're a racist. I know you're a homophobe. I know you're a hypocrite. I know you were produced in the dumb factory, participate in the dumb factory every fucking day.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
But other than that, I have not seen any MAGA hats in Oklahoma City. No, I haven't either.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
No, that's a great point. It's a really good point. That's far more terrifying. It really is.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
This is why I don't think children, for their benefit, for their safety, they don't need to be out in public as much as these parents are dragging them out. That mother put that child in a very unsafe position because had somebody been a little liquored up, a little emotionally unhinged, woke up a little bit cunty that day. That kid could have gotten the brunt of something.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I always, when my kids were really little, when somebody would roll their eyes or think they were loud, I always gave deference to that person and was like... I'm sorry. Yeah. Like I'm in this position. I know it fucking sucks. I'm sorry. But this is the best I can do in this moment with these kids. Right.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's the parents that think that project that everybody is going to think their kids are as cute as they do or care about their kids. You know, it takes me back to people putting the signs in the yard about their kids going to attending school.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I know. I know. All right. That's all we have for today. Make sure you pre-order our book. The link is below. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. It drops May 27th. So make sure you already pre-ordered it so you can get all the tea on Pumps and Me. Buy our merch. Subscribe to all of our stuff. Leave us a five-star review because that was two one-stars and I think yin-yang.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Although we admit to being unhinged. And Jesus, quit running commercials. You're already famous enough. Your book's already a bestseller. Your book has been a bestseller forever. My life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Like what stage of capitalism meets religion are we at right now, where Jesus Christ has to advertise on television to promote his brand is it me or is that just the weirdest most american late-stage capitalism late-stage democracy pre-christian nationalist handmade tale arrival you have ever seen in your life
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
That they're paying for that doesn't surprise me one bit because these people don't pay taxes. So of course they can afford. Right. You know, I mean, look at Joe Olsteen lives in like a 50,000 square foot house, has five or six private planes. My thing is the insecurity that you would feel like you need to advertise.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots. Listen up, people of the United States and international listeners. We're still here on asshole island and we will not cede one inch of Not one inch to these fascist MFers. We are going to stand together for everyone all the time. Sometimes we're going to have petty grievances.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And when you dig deep into the people behind this, it's the people that own Hobby Lobby, the Green family, which is from Oklahoma. These are the people that famously opposed birth control being in the Affordable Care Act. Imagine that as a Christian, a billionaire Christian at that, that one of your number one platforms isn't to help people.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Isn't to give health care to people who can't afford it. Maybe open up a hospital for free to poor members of the society. Nope. It's to make sure those damn sluts, if they're fucking around, they're going to get knocked up. We're not paying for their birth control. That's their number one cause. And these are the same assholes that are running commercials for Jesus Christ on the television.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
charlatan propagandizing bullshit and it is why among many other reasons i detest with every molecule in my fiber in my being evangelical christianity i think it is a cancer i think it is a dumb factory that breeds dumb people that don't critically think that elect dumb corrupt leaders that worship money and like to bully gay people and belittle black people and i think it is an
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
absolute cancer white evangelical mega church christianity cannot stand it i have had it and jesus christ quit running ads for sake you've had the best selling book for like 2 000 years had it i'm telling you i'm still not over the dumb factory It is. Evangelical Christianity is a dumb factory. They go to these dumb schools. They go to dumb Christian camps.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And then their number one thing is that what they want kids to do is not fuck. I'm like, that's going to work.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Bravo. Yeah. Tell a bunch of hormonal teenagers that they have sex, they're bad, and the devil's going to torture them forever. That... That's good. That's healthy. That seems like a rock solid idea. It's just stupid. It's stupid idea on top of other stupid ideas that then materializes in them running an advertisement for Jesus Christ. That's just weird. weird. It's weird.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
They don't have to grandstand like, hey, I get you. I'm a beaver. I get you and running like multimillion dollar advertisements. I think it's pathetic. I think it's thirst trapping. I am not a Christian, but if I were one, I would be like, why is Jesus? advertising. This is beneath his messaging. I think it is the trashiest American, white, evangelical, dump truck, dipshit, MAGA shit. I hate it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's not international, I can assure you. Right now. I would say national. Yeah. I think that probably our European listeners are like, wait a minute. So y'all advertise for medication, which they think is really weird. And you're Jesus Christ is running ads on television. It's weird. And here's the thing. All of these religious groups do all this shit with impunity and nobody ever calls it out.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Sometimes we're going to have big grievances, but we're going to do it together as an asshole island family.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Like I have an idea, the Jesus commercial people. Why don't you take all that money for your advertisement, put your money where your mouth is and go help the homeless situation? Because I don't know about you, but most of the evangelical Christians that I know, when homelessness comes up, they act so disgusted. They'll say, I don't want to go out to California. It's just so many homeless people.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I'm like, oh, yeah, like they're living so well. Right. Like have some fucking compassion. with your little Christ cross on.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So maybe instead of spending billions of dollars on an advertising campaign, coordinate with state and local governments and say, hey, we were about to do this huge multi-hundred million dollar advertising campaign for Jesus, but then we realized, oh yeah, he's already famous and he has a best-selling book for like 2,000 years.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So what we thought we'd do instead of being assholes trying to impose our views on everybody else is we would just – Partner with you all and figure out what kind of homes and communities we could build to tackle this homelessness crisis that you have. Are they doing that? No. And guess what?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
When they do do it, they go to foreign countries and they have to do all this mission stuff and manipulate people into believing their religion to give them clean water. It's bullshit. I'm whistleblowing on the whole thing. I've had it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
No, because they're dumb factories. They are dumb factories. That's like my favorite thing you've said in a long time. Kylie, what did you think when you saw the Jesus commercials?
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Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I think it's somewhat pathetic. I think it's just if your product is so good – And if I were to meet white evangelical Christians in the city that I live in, where they're abundant here, and they were so good and compassionate to where I said, God, I just think you're a really great person. You always are in a great mood. You show so much kindness to the marginalized. What is that about?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And they're like, oh, it's my faith. Well, what religion are you? They're like, well, I'm a follower of Jesus, but I don't want to push it on you. Now, that would be attractive. Right. There's nothing that these people do that's attractive.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
They're out there talking in tongues, holding up rattlesnakes, taking Venmo, building new churches, growing, growing, growing, ripping off the public just like the MAGA Republicans do.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Well, and then look at how he's decorated the Oval Office. It's full-blown Christian, you know, nouveau riche vibes. You know, it is. That's like there's a – remember that house where I grew up, an evangelical preacher who, you know, got all those millions of dollars? He built this gaudy, tacky nouveau riche mansion there. Look at Joel Osteen's mansion. Trashy. Look at the Oval Office. Trashy.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Look at Mar-a-Lago. Trashy. Look at Trump's tower penthouse. Utter gutter snipe. I mean, it's just it's just trashy. And I just I think that Jesus running ads is just a bridge too far for me. Live by example, Jesus. Live by example. You don't need to be buying ads. It's just too far. It's just too far.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I mean, if I was like 99.9999999% never going to be a Christian, Jesus running the ad, put the nail in the crucifix. I mean, it's never happening. That's never going to fucking happen. It's the most unattractive, braggadocious, pick-me-thirst-trap bullshit I've ever seen. And here I thought you were so close. At this point, after those ads, I think I have a better chance of like Scientology. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I haven't seen any Scientology ads. I have. But maybe on streaming. Yeah. Oh, really?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Been warned? By what? Like what's she going to do? By her. Like she's warning other people.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I think she must have heard my conversation with Rahm Emanuel. Probably. I mean, I think that's what that is. Pulling guests. I mean, that's the closest it gets to. Yeah, but it says two pigs. I don't think she'd call Josh a pig, do you? This is a person who has never listened to a full podcast. This is a person who's seen the clip online, or better yet, saw the clip on Fox News.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
When they did their takedown of me. And like two or three different shows did like a Fox News takedown. And every time we're featured on Fox News, you guys, my DMs, my email box, my business phone line ring. And the depths of evil... spit that comes out of the MAGA cult is it's unbelievable how deranged these people are. I mean, I just know for sure when I'm on Fox, it's coming. It is coming.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
The fucking hate parade, this dumb factory is on its way to my inbox.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
A lot of this stuff that has been going on in this administration, I'm like, it's so randomly odd and vapid and horrible. I'm thinking, are they doing it just to piss people off? And I've thought about that with the makeup artists, too. Like, is this just to see how crazy we'll go? Is this a Democratic plant? Like... It's not off the board.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Yeah. I completely agree with that. I know for me personally, in my marriage, my ex-husband was 6,000% more stress and anxiety than the kids were. But let me take you back to baby lawyer Angie, maybe 26, clipping over to the courthouse with this older client that I really, really liked. And I said, you know, how are you doing? We're walking over to get her divorce centered.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
It probably took me 30 minutes just to figure out which in the directions we're discussing in the directions because the type was so tiny. I have had it with anything DYI related. And I know this doesn't really count as that. But for me, it does because I can't do anything myself. Is it D-I-Y or D-Y-I? Oh, D-I-Y. D-I-Y. And is it OnlyFans or FansOnly? I always say it wrong so I can never remember.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And we walked out and I said, are you okay? Because some people just have a meltdown, even though they want it. It's just a big, huge change. And she said, I feel liberated because today I didn't lose a husband. I lost a dependent. And I wasn't married. So I didn't know. And that has stuck with me all this time. And it was exactly what that article is about. Exactly. You know, it's true.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
You know what? When you were reading that headline, all the things in that article that were mentioned, like the gender roles, equitability, I was thinking, I think that that would be better in a same-sex couple. Because in heteronormative relationships, there are such gender roles baked in the cake. And so I think that's interesting. And it seems like it's true. It's just common sense true.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I think that's a great idea. I think we should take it one step further and say you cannot marry within your own race. Every marriage has to be a mixed race marriage. I love that. I mean, I think that would open a lot of eyes and appreciation of diversity.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Right. If there's even a chance you're going to be led to MAGA, we have to stop it before it starts. We're going to ban it. Yeah.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
We were just passing the picture around at the Knicks games. We were showing our friend that we went to the game with from New York. And he was like, no way. And it's just, it's unbelievable.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Right. Nobody got smarter. But I will say this. People that live in like on the East Coast or metropolitan areas, you have to understand you can live in Oklahoma. And if there are certain places you live, there is not one foreign language. There's not one person of color. I mean, it is like sitting in a glass of milk. All day, every day. There's just zero co-mingling of different cultures.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Well, and not only that, they are so emasculated. lay down so flatly for this man and his ideals, yet they want to tell you how masculine they are. It's just, it's, I mean, I know it's probably insecurity and I know it's projection, but it's like, you are the worst. You fucking suck. You have no balls. And you sit around and tell us how many balls you have, which it's so gross. The whole thing.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Right, and a lot of women have like two jobs. They have to do all the things with two jobs. And the trad wife thing, for me, it's dangerous. Like you're putting women in a situation that's untenable and that puts them at such a compromise financially. And at the mercy of whomever is financially in charge.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I mean, and having been one of those women that stayed home and was put under huge financial hardship, having to restart your career and having no money and having just to completely start over. I could kick myself over that. And I just so maybe my perspective is too hard on that. But I always think, watch the fuck out because the other shoe is going to drop at some point.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Right. Right. The financial abuse is every bit as difficult and dangerous as any other type of abuse. Right.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Pumps tell them. I love using Rho because you have an online appointment with the Rho provider in the comfort of your own home. No waiting in person, no commute time, no doctor's office waiting room. It is so convenient and the product delivers right to your door. Weight loss, it's faster.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
This might be TMI, but I use it under my boobs and in my butt crack, the all over deodorant. And then after I work out, I use the wipes and I'm completely confident going back to work anytime I work out during the day.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
It had an egg crate bottom and then it had sides you had to install. And then you had to put all that in the washable cover. All right, follow up. Was this a purchase on Instagram? No. One of the few things that I've purchased, not on Instagram lately, which that could be a haddock because I fell into the trap again of buying something on Instagram.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I completely agree with Isaac. I've had that exact same thought. I get a text every day. I should unsubscribe, but I don't because I'm like, well, I don't want to miss something. And I think – I thought exactly what he thought like two nights ago. Like if you do fucking something, if I hear you out there screaming the truth and spitting facts –
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
at the highest octave you can, then I'm going to be more inclined. But until then, I'm going to sit back. So Isaac's on to something he needs to call the DNC.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I thought it was just going to get rid of all my crow's feet. News flash, it didn't. But no, I ordered this for my big dog. So it's an extra large, you know, for a hundred pound dog. So it's big, but the box was big. When I opened it up and it came in rolls, I was like, do I have the right thing? Like I'm looking on the box, like who is this from?
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Yeah, I have been extremely disappointed with the leadership over in the United States Congress. It has been milquetoast, to say the least. And again, we point it out all the time. The most vocal, other than Bernie Sanders, are women. Yep. Elizabeth Warren has been pretty. Yep. She's been vocal, but it's just like it's the women. The men are just pussy footing around.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
How can this be that I just didn't open this up and it was already made? How did I have to do this? Because it's Trump's America. It's true. Here's the deal. Before January 20th, I would have opened that box. It would have fluffed right out. 24 hours later, it would have been a fluffy cloud.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
That's such a great point. I completely agree. He signs his name with a sharpie. Like, you can't just use a pen. But you know what I'm going to say when I see his pen?
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
It's me, Mom. Nick Curtin. Dry beaver. Law. Angie D. Beaver. Angie D. Beaver.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And here's the deal. We're not the president of the United States.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Right. The walking for bison got me because you know where immediately my head went? To your beaver. We're walking for beavers. We're going to have a beaver walk. Beavers for democracy. Yeah.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
This is completely... Yes, we're going to organize a beaver walk for democracy.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Okay. She tried to do this with an eagle and I was like, they're not going to let us like rent an eagle. Yeah. Well, we could. It's America still. I mean, there's... But I mean, I still... Okay. What about a beaver? That's what I just said. No, I know. But I'm just wondering, like, a beaver rescue? I don't know.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Yeah. I mean, I think we have to stop looking at, okay, we're going to get to 2026. I think we need to look at, we need to get through March 31st. And then we need to get through April 15th. Yeah. And maybe break it down two weeks, a month. Move the goalposts. Right. Because it is overwhelming. Four years away is overwhelming. Two years seems like it'll never happen.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I think it's ugly. It's not a visual assault on my eyes, just the normal one. The Cybertruck is an assault. It's awful.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Well, I think that there is probably no higher value grievance than that one. So it was absolutely not pedestrian. But I am one of those people that fell into the trap. Well, I mean, he invented Tesla and EVs. He didn't. That's a myth. He didn't invent Tesla. This is just what I assumed. And then I hear him speak and how he behaves. And I think...
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
This guy is a complete nut and fascist and authoritarian and mean and cruel and awful. And why doesn't he take his billions and do something for good instead of burn the whole world down? Because he's a sociopathic drug addict. Right. And I think he and Vladimir Putin have a European domination like bro thing.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Okay, what I've had it with is I've had it when you buy something and you think it's put together and you get it home and you take it out of the box and you have to put it fucking together. And not only do they give you instructions that are unclear... The type is so tiny, and I know that I can't see, and I have to wear readers at my advanced age.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Okay, here's the thing. I am obsessed with that I'm oily faced. I'm obsessed with what my great aunt used to call the dewy look. I don't like it. I like pure matte. I know that's in. Jennifer, when I'm obsessing about it, she's like... That's in. That's in.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
So for this person to hit me right where, like that's like my number one thing that I worry about is sitting here with a complete baby oil face.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
That is something I will never, ever get over. Like when they played that on The View and I saw our picture, I just thought. We look like hammered oil dog shit. Like, did you just come out of the baby oil pool before you met the vice president? That's exactly what it looks like. Didn't get her hair done? What a bunch of dipshits. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, thank you for noticing.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And I'm always good to tell you if you have an oily forehead. I didn't notice that day. Well, apparently on this particular day you did. I didn't.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
What I love about Tushy is I feel so extra special clean afterwards. And you have electric in your bathroom. I don't. And Tushy has a toilet for either one of us.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
But I shit you not, I was trying to put together a dog bed that came in a huge box. There was no reason that it wasn't prepackaged. Just open it up. I mean, mattresses, you open up, and they fill up with air, and they're fine. I had like three parts. I had to zip certain things in, take them out. I mean, I had this dog bed all over me.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
What's wonderful about your BetterHelp therapist is you get to choose your therapist. It's convenient for your schedule. I like to do it in my own home because I feel no inhibitions and I can say exactly how I feel.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I agree. But here's the thing. It's like this, always this forced bullshit that you have to dig deep. And what did you discover about yourself? And, and at the end of the day, she's right. She said, she's as shallow as a puddle. When I discover about myself time and time again, I'm bossy. I'm, uh, impulsive at times, um, shallow, um, incredibly loyal and pretty low key socially.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Like as much as we are out on the internet and all of these things, my real life, I am not very social at all. I play tennis, pickleball, come to work, and that's the end of it. And then go to these hate academies to watch my son play basketball against a bunch of homophobic racists. But, you know, I digress.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'm so excited about this. Before we do this, I want to say that video and the story were both sent to me via DM by some of our listeners. So thank you guys for sending us content. Okay, Kylie, go ahead.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And you're not appreciative of this service. I'm not appreciative. After you watch the shows they recommend, you're not appreciative? No, I get irritated because I'm like, damn it. I did like this show. See, I would like that. This is where I can't get on board. I support you in your grievance because you get to have it. But I'm always like, I need good shows. And they don't notify me of anything.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I might have to read that book. Oh, no, we'll definitely have to read it. But I think that this is going to be the next phase of this. We're fucking around right now with the internet and these family bloggers and the moms that are doing TikTok dances with their kids and all of this stuff.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And now we're about to enter into the find out phase where you and I always say when you see the perfect, the mom that's doing that. This morning we made homemade pancakes and then we read this and then we went to our garden and we made organic pancakes. bullshit, blah, blah. We're like, we want to see the part where you're like, hey, come on. We want to see the real part.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
That part's about to come out because all of this made for social media, everybody that's alive knows that nobody's childhood is like that. None. No one. It's not a part of the human experience.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Well, I mean, I think it's like probably any relationship with any abuser. You know, it's very complicated. But, I mean, the exploitation of that and the performative nature of that, I would think the child would feel – would have a very difficult time with reality. Because when parents project –
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
everything's perfect, everything's normal, and all problems are swept under the rug, those adult children have debilitating anxiety, and it's very difficult for them to function as adults.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Well, and I think there's going to have to be some form of regulation on the industry that if the parents are profiting off of this, just like there was with child actors. That's what I was going to say. And anytime you see children working anywhere... you see exploitation. I mean, that's why there are child labor laws, because of the nature of children to be exploited.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And so, yeah, it's going to be interesting because I think over the course of the next 10 to 15 years, you're going to see so much of this trickle out.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I don't get any notifications. No, I get them all the time.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Well, I mean, it's the same thing as like Lindsey Graham, you know, he's anti-gay, blah, blah, blah. And then apparently, you know, he frequents all the- Lady G. Yeah. You know, and escorts in DC, you know, it's thou doth protest too much. Yeah. As we constantly remind people.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I, yeah, there was a, I remember my kids were super young and there was a girl who lived kind of around the corner from me and she, Everybody kind of knew that her husband was a con artist and was ripping people off. But when I saw her, she was smiles like total Stepford wife, like everything was just normal, hunky dory and perfect.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But we all kind of knew like that his business, he was robbing Peter to pay Paul and it was all like a house of cards Ponzi scheme that was about to collapse. And so I'll never forget this. I was sitting in my car at carpool to pick up my kids. And they were like, one was in preschool, one was in lower school. And Josh had relapsed. And I was just devastated.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And the news that he had relapsed was in our peer group somewhat fodder. It was gossipy. And of course, she had heard it. And I was really, really depressed and really sad. And so I'm sitting in the car waiting on my kids to come out from school. And she comes up to the car door. And she says, I'm just so sorry to hear about you and Josh. And I said, it's totally fine.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'm completely fine because I don't I don't like that. I don't I don't like that.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
No, we were friendly, but not like friends. And I said, yeah, it's tough. Addiction is a really tough, a tough component. She keeps prying, keeps prying. And then she looked at me and she goes, I just I just can't relate because my husband and I, we just don't have problems anymore. I remember exactly where my car was parked in conjunction to the front door to the school.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I remember exactly what her car was parked right in front of mine. I remember everything of that moment. I remember what I was wearing. I remember what my kids were wearing because I couldn't believe the ability to just willfully be in denial that much that she could look at me straight in the face and not feel a tinge of dishonesty. Like it almost gave me the chills.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Like your whole life is your house is about to get repossessed. Your cars are getting repossessed. Well, after this, like literally 10 days after that, my husband, I don't have problems. They leave in the middle of the night.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Literally pack up everything and leave town in the middle of the night because this business has gone so belly up. And so always when you see people that are super performative, you know it's super problems behind that. And so as painful as it was to –
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'm bitter about it. If you think about what goes on with our phones and our watch. My watch is telling me all the time, it's too loud where you are right now. Yeah, mine too. You need to stand up. It's like there's no privacy between us and these Apple devices and big tech. And we all saw what big tech, what they think about us when they marched to that inauguration.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
you know, share that my husband had a drug addiction and that it caused pain and sadness for my children and me and it was a really dark time, I will take that pain
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
and wear it because I was real about it I was honest about it I didn't fucking lie to people about it then be the lying liar that has to leave in the middle of the night who tells people Josh and I just don't have problems right like I if I even think about saying that even right now and he's sober and we're great but if I were to look at you right now and go you know Poms
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Josh and I just don't have problems. I could not genuinely say that because it's so divorced from reality because everybody fucking has problems.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
What? I just, I think that I just couldn't believe, like, I mean, she's really trying to, I couldn't, I was like, does she believe this? Or is she just so used to living bullshit, performative bullshit that she's just presenting this to me and she thinks I'm stupid to fall for it?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
No disrespect to lesbians, but I mean, I would think that, yeah, I mean, I just, I totally.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
highest celestial kingdom you have to have a lot of kids and a lot of wives if you're a man and a lot of sister wives if you're a woman so like the more kids you have the closer you are to that the more husbands you have or the more wives you have the closer you get to all that you know what's bananas is when i think about this it just all religion in general it blows my mind because i wasn't indoctrinating in any that people believe it but mormonism in particular they believe that i think jesus was born in missouri
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And kissed the teeny tiny hand, orange hand of the convicted felon president that we happen to have. So that's nuts.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
A-plus listener. A-plus grievance. A-plus voice memo. And I'm going to say this. When I had it, the MAGA-coated t-shirts. I feel exactly the way this guy does. I don't want to know. I don't want to know when I'm on the plane that you have your, I'm a lion, I'm a big boy with my American flag with a grenade next to it, T-shirt on.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I mean, my God, patriots, gayatriots, and natriots. Okay. All right. I'm back. But the clap was horrific. It was really lackluster. It was really lackluster. It was little dick energy. And I usually have big dick energy. You do. You really do. I really do. You really do. You really do have a lot of big dick energy. I do. Yeah. BDE.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I don't want to see it because I know you're compensating for a lot of problems. I know that probably when you watch porn... I know that you're probably watching that penis a little bit more than you are the ta-tas. I know that. And I don't want to think about that on my flight. Right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
It's just there's so much coded MAGA shit. It's everywhere. And here's another grievance. It's just bad fashion. Right. On top of it. You know, it's the sloppy American fashion culture. But this caller is 100% correct about these bumper stickers. It's better to not know. I agree.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Oh, well, I'm sorry that Netflix is doing that to you, Pumps. If you have any good shows, though, will you actually text them to me? I will. A real text message? A real text. Yeah. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with MAGA-coated merch. Okay. So I'm talking about we're on an airplane and you see a guy and he's got on some sort of shirt that has some sort of
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Your one degree of separation showed you the pictures of somebody.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I can't even process this. If I showed up to some event and people pulled out diapers with chocolate in them and wanted us to sniff and lick them. I would say you all are fucking crazy and I would have to leave. Like you can't, you can't have any part of that. That is it. You have to make your stand immediately. Immediately say you guys are fucking nuts.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
There is not a bottle of vodka big enough that I'm going to be able to drink to do this. Yeah.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I think we've all got to stop telling people, you're special. you're unique. We need to stop that. Everybody's basically pretty ordinary, all of us, all seven, eight billion, however many there is on the planet. And then there is like a 0.001% where you're like, dang, that is a spectacular person with star quality. And they are few and far between. Michelle Obama. But now we have this
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
bastardization of the american flag and it's got you know like the blue line or it's got like language in it like i'm a lion i'm a big boy i'm a tough guy and you see this maga coded merch all the time on airplanes and you know this guy thinks he's like in his mind he's thinking he's a navy seal One hundred percent.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
you are so special and we we have to pump rainbows and unicorns up kids asses all the time that when they have real problems they're unable to handle them i saw some uh uh thing on the internet that gen z kids are having a hard time ordering off of menus because they can't make decisions
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And here's the thing. We need to start telling people where you're going to grow the most as a mother are the mistakes that you make as a mother. And you will make them. You 100% will make them. And where you're going to grow as a person are the mistakes that you make. And it's all about managing mistakes. those mistakes and managing the suffering from those mistakes.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And the people that can't manage suffering and can't manage making mistakes. Those are the people eating poopoo diapers at a baby shower.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
What I love about this is the buildup to it. Right. You know, she's just, she's trying like, you need to do this. You need to do that. You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have done that. And then finally, you know what? Fuck you. Yeah. I love it. The climax to the fuck you is so satisfying. Yeah.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah, poor Scout. Somebody sent me a DM the other day and it was like a missing dog. And I was like, do you think that this is Scout? Yeah, you know. I've read some articles about people like during COVID that got dogs because they were so lonely and home. And then now there's all these like COVID orphan dogs.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And there's just something about when I think about dogs and their feelings and people not being good pet owners, it really bothers me. like immensely and like even being reminded that Scout just left and nobody looked for him and stuff really bothers me. But we did some work to get to the other side of that. But I just I don't like it.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
You know, I think I've talked about an episode or two ago about people that, you know, are like, I don't let my dog on the sofa. And, you know, I just I don't understand it because My dogs are the most consistent emotional creatures I have in my life.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
In all reality, the resting heart rate on the airplane is probably through the roof. Right. You know, not fit, not somebody you think would rescue everybody should the emergency plane procedures start. But it goes even deeper than this for me. So, listener, as you all know, we live in Oklahoma City and my son plays varsity basketball. And he plays all of these from his division that he's in.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
All right. Well, listen up, listener. Do we have any updates? Kylie, what do we update people on?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Blue sky. Yeah, we've got blue sky. We're forming a sub stack. So go find us on that. And then other than that, I mean, we're just- Write a review.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Oh my God. We always need reviews. Yeah, we need more reviews. Oh, I know. I know what we're missing to promote is that we have this other podcast called IHIP News. Kylie Reid, I didn't even told you this. So Kylie and I were talking about the other podcast and like branding it. And I just like it was like scrambled the Jets committee meeting all at one time. And I had the perfect sentence.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Wow. I said, Kylie, write this down. It just came to me. And then Kylie wrote it down and then we put it on the top of the YouTube page and put it in the bio of that podcast. How good is that?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Rock Hard Cock Chats listeners are for, it's at one of our chats in our Patreon club. Yeah. Pumps named.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Because we all know all roads for pumps. The two Rock Hard Cocks. All right. I think we've done everything we can do here at Pumps. Tell them.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'll tell you what I'm at it with. Let's hear it. I'm at it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm caca that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
He's also in the same division of a bunch of these private evangelical schools. which I call indoctrination asshole academies. Hate academies too. Hate academies. So we have to go to these schools and they're called like victory Christian. And the mascot is like the crusaders. It's all this like, you know, it's just ridiculous.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
So we go to this one gym and all the parents are wearing all the MAGA coded merch. One guy has on like an overt, like it says, Jesus strong, Trump tough.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yes. That cannot be real. It's real. He had it on and he was grinning from ear to ear, proud of himself for his outfit choice. Oh, wow. But anyway, in the gym of some of these churches, I'm just like kind of people watching the opposing team because it's wild. I mean, it's like they just got released from the compound to go to the basketball game for the night.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And in the gym, like when we go to the asshole academies, it's like in Jesus name we play. It's on the wall. Get it? I get it. Got it. Okay, so then one game I couldn't make it to because it was in Tulsa, I had to work, et cetera. So a couple of my friends came over Liz and Tricia, and we're sitting streaming the game. And it's one of these like hate academies an hour and a half away from home.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And so we're streaming the basketball game. And my friend Liz is looking at the court. And the way the lights are shining down on the wood floor of the gymnasium, there's a message on the sideline. And it says, It appears to say our best gays are ahead of us. G-A-Y-S. But it was the way the line was hitting the D. I think it really said our best days are ahead of us.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But we read it as our best gays are ahead of us. So are you thinking Freudian? Totally, because I'm thinking that's exactly right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Because as soon as the poor kids whose parents forced them to go to this awful asshole indoctrination, white supremacist, anti-evolution, anti-science, MAGA-entraining dump truck of a school, and they get out and they go to college and they meet other gays, then for that school, their best gays are ahead of them.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. It's so gross. It really is. It was hard on me in our early days of our friendship, knowing that your kids went to a school that supported...
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
institutionalized homophobia you know like it it it it it was hard on me but if you look at we both came from I come from parents that are open-minded thinkers you come from parents that are biblical worldview thinkers only like that is the only worldview okay welcome to I've had it I'm Jennifer I'm Angie Kylie hi hi Kylie what do you think about the hate academies
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. Firsthand. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Ready? One, two, three. Oh my God. We haven't commented on the clap in quite some time. It's anemic. Is that a Trump's America clap?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I mean, here's what I have to say is this kind of segues into what we're talking about earlier. And there is this tendency that people fall into that when they get married and have kids, like they're not going to have conviction anymore. It's like, oh, I'm just going to go the easy way and just have this black and white thinking. And it's like, how can you throw a relationship with somebody in...
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
that you've had all of these experiences with. And so what if he wears makeup? And so what if he wears a skirt or whatever? Who cares?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
They're trying to butch him up. Right. They're saying, you can't be this gay. Like, they're trying to quantify the gayness. And this is what a lot of straight people try to do with gay people. They say things like, oh, I have a friend that's super gay. I have a friend that's gay, but he's not like a total flamer. That somehow that quantification is somehow acceptable or non-acceptable. So
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Gay people have to really walk through a minefield. Are you too gay? Are you not gay enough? I didn't realize you were gay. Black people experience the same kind of thing. Like, oh, they're articulate. They're, you know, these types of quantifying the blackness, quantifying the gayness. White people are the people that do this. There's nothing that they do with us. Right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Nobody has to quantify their whiteness. It's something that white people do to marginalized people. And it's really, really gross. And so what they're doing is trying to make him, he's gay. Doesn't matter if he has a full face of makeup on, a dress, or is the butchest gay man you've ever met. He's still gay. So just accept whatever package that comes in as a human being.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But this is something that white people tend to do to marginalized groups. Right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Okay. I saw this and I had to send it to Kylie to share with everybody because I totally agree with this. This is forced upon us all the time. What did you learn? What did you discover about yourself? And then you're like, oh shit, I need to find something profound to say here because I didn't discover jack shit. I just walked, you know, like say it's some hike or something that you went on.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I noticed that nature was pretty. I noticed that, you know. twist my ankle and blah, blah, blah. And, and then there's always this forced self-discovery and it's obviously, I think you get to know yourself as you get older and you make mistakes. Mistakes, in my opinion, have been the number one thing that have helped me grow as an individual.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I do. I also have an update on this exact topic. You know, the victory laps that we get to take because I think we make a difference when we complain about these things. Mm-hmm. As of October of this year, the FTC is finalizing a new rule called the click to cancel, where businesses have to make it easy for consumers to just press cancel online on their subscription. See?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Okay. I would like – oh, do we have reviews? I've got two for you. This one is from Jason, and he writes, Hello to the bitch that complains and me-ma meat flap. I watch your podcast while I'm at work. You guys ruin my day at work. I get so into your pods that I get pissed at every single thing that I have also had it with.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I get so mad at everything that happens in the world, but you guys do always find a way to make me laugh. I look like a weird fuck laughing at myself in my office. Lots of love from Jason, a gaytriot from the Patriot State of Florida.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Who else? Okay, this one is five stars from Twirly Girl, and it's titled Eagle Sighting. Every episode makes me laugh out loud at least once. I was recently in Japan missing pumps and gin shows. I was on a two-hour trip down the Hasegawa River in what can only be described as an oversized canoe when the guide then pointed skyward and shouted, Eagle! Eagle!
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
It was all I could do to not stand up, salute, and proudly exclaim, ca-caw. Thanks for coming along on the river ride, Jen and Pumps.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
adults reported eating all their meals alone on any given day, a 53% rise since 2003. The trend correlates with increased feelings of loneliness. and reduced social support, both of which negatively impact overall well-being. Additionally, the US has experienced a rise in deaths of despair, including those of suicide, alcohol abuse, drug overdose, further influencing its lower happiness ranking.
I've Had It
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I do think that makes people unhappy, but I think we... worship money too much and worship those that have money too much. And it's such a part of the American identity to be like, to want to dry hump capitalism at all times and to reprogram your brain into thinking, what is the benefit of this worshiping money so much? Does money make your life easier? 100%.
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And then when you get your cash or your receipt or whatever, then you move up. Right. And when you're not hindering anybody's ability to access the coveted machine, then you can organize your own things. But I agree, there's a lot of lollygagging and pussyfooting going on at the ATM.
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When you get a lot of money, can it even make you happy? Of course it can. But the worship of it, the worship of money and idolizing those who have a lot of money, when we have so many people that don't have health care, that the minimum wage is pennies. I think it leads to a very unhappy community, whereas in Scandinavia, everybody has health care.
I've Had It
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Women are in positions of power all over the place. They don't have religion. in these places. And I just think that the way we have set up the United States, multiple ways, city planning, you have to drive your car everywhere. I think that suburbia is death trap for happiness factor.
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I think if your house looks like everybody else's house and everybody kind of lives the same way, does all the same stuff, I think that's dreadfully boring and that would make you unhappy. I think all the Trump dump and having a president that has a goddamn flea market, that's depressing as shit. So I don't know how we reverse course, but I mean, it's, I see it.
I've Had It
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You know, when we were in Brazil, I was – first of all, I was like, oh, my God, like 23 million people live in this city. That was crazy because when you're in the United States, all you ever hear about is U.S.-centered news. But I was thinking about just returning to the United States.
I've Had It
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And before this trip, when I was abroad and I returned to the United States, I knew that I was returning to a place that at least I believed in trying to get better with time each year, each presidential term, trying our best to improve things. And this time, as I woke up that morning to board the plane, I was like, I'm going back to a place where the people in charge are hell bent.
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on tearing it down and they're hell bent on any advancement that women have made, any advancement that the LGBTQ plus community has made. They're completely erasing black identity from all of the government websites. So all the civil rights advancements, they want to completely undo. And that's just, it was just, it hit me like a ton of bricks thinking I'm returning to a place
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That is no longer the place for 50 years that I needed to believe that it was. That this government that's in place right now wants to dismantle all of these things. And here's something that I've had it with. The little Caroline Leavitt, the little White House press secretary, that little cunt. Let me tell you.
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She has her job because of women that had a backbone, that fought for everybody, that didn't throw anybody under the bus. That's why she has that job. And the fact that she would join an administration where she would want to take away all of those advancements.
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is so disgusting to me the same with that queen at the secretary of the treasury scott besant he has that job because of activists in the lgbtq plus community that fought hard to normalize and to say these people should not be shamed they should not uh they should have all of the laws applied to them so he's going to get to that position and beat down all of those before him and the rights for all of those that come after him
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And then you have Kash Patel, brown skin. At the end of the day, you think all those white supremacists that you're working with, you're going to be the first motherfucker that's thrown under the bus. It's just jaw dropping. The fact that Candace Owens, a female and a black one at that. uses to exploit the same people that 20, 30 years ago would have never given her the time of day.
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And they trot her out like she's their trophy. It just disgusts me when people cherry pick their human rights. I think it's just disgusting and dangerous. I agree with you.
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No, it doesn't. It doesn't shock me at all. But it's just... It's really... It's really hurtful to the progress that so many people have made. And, you know, when you study American history and you see the horrible things that happen, like slavery and segregation, and then you study the civil rights movement, you see the brave people that, you know, marched on the bridge.
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and Rosa Parks and MLK that did all of these amazing cool things. And you see this administration go and just want to wipe all that out and say, oh, it's just DEI when the people that are calling other people DEI are the most incompetent, stupid, double digit IQ pieces of shit this country's ever produced. They shouldn't be in charge of anything.
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They are flea market game show host, rat trap, nut jobs. I've just, it's so gross. It disgusts me each and every day. Could not agree more. Okay. Another news story. Not as uplifting either. I was going to say, we really... The study shows half of Americans have gotten ruder since the pandemic. About 47% of adults say public behavior has worsened with 34% noticing rude behavior in public.
I've Had It
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Yeah, I agree. I don't have a problem eating alone at all. And with regards to the pandemic, I think this is really true. In my interior design business, after the lockdown, everybody came out and they wanted to redecorate their house and redo their house because they had spent so much time nesting. So it was kind of like a business boom.
I've Had It
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But, oh, my God, the shift in the way people treated their designers and other vendors. And, of course, because everybody was doing it, the supply chain was whacked out. Prices were going up. And I just thought, I really hate everybody. I really do. hate everybody.
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And I had this fabulous job that was all about creativity and making the landscape, the backdrop for people's Christmas mornings, Thanksgivings, where they brought their babies home from the hospital. It was a really privilege to do it. The two years after COVID, people were awful and that that had to have happened in every industry across the board.
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Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can totally see that. Okay. Next up, this is some good news. Target reportedly lost nearly $1 billion after boycott and DEI rollback. Target has always was always kind of like the cutting edge of we're going to support LGBTQ rights. We're going to support DEI, blah, blah. Then Trump wins.
I've Had It
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I also think some of it is regional because when I go to New York City or London, people that live in big cities learn to be efficient. They learn to be a member of a fine-tuned machine where millions of people live in the same place at the same time and they seem to be more efficient.
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And then all of a sudden they jump on the oligarch bandwagon and they decide they're going to roll back their DEI support, the support of diversity, equity, inclusion. And The customers of Target, specifically black people, are not to be trifled with. That's right. And they get online and they organize. And Target is feeling this to the tune of $1 billion.
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And what I have to say about this is people do not like the short-sighted inauthenticity. I think it's so gross. If you are... Just supporting gay people or black people because you think it's going to be monetarily beneficial for you and not because you feel it's the right thing to do, then you're a target. You just switch your mind with the changes of the political winds.
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And I think that's so important. I have always stood in my support of social justice, my support of civil rights, my support of equality, and it's never changed. And right now it's more difficult to express those opinions, but I feel that much more emboldened to do it because of the targets. And I'm not going to be scared of a bunch of men.
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in the Trump administration that wear eyeliner and makeup all the time, talking about how alpha they are, trying to bully us into not speaking out against them. It's just insane. And I support people boycotting Target. And shame on Target for being so shallow in their support for civil rights.
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It's just – that's so gross. And you know what? I think that a lot of black people felt that during Black Lives Matter. Right. They felt like it was a trendy bandwagon thing for people to post about. But as soon as the winds changed, you saw –
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the you know either overt racism or covert racism come back and that would be exhausting being black in america when it's popular and everybody is all about black lives matter and it's this big movement but i remember some you know seeing it online and some some friends of mine that are black that were like we'll see how long this lasts We'll see how long people really stay new. How gross.
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I would say where we live, it's like this breathtaking inefficiency and this feeling like I'm the only person on the planet At this ATM machine, I have found the people in New York to be more genuinely courteous than people in Oklahoma. And this is a lot of people think, oh, people in the South are so friendly. Well, it's all a facade.
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It's so gross. Okay. I believe that that concludes the first part of this podcast. In the second part of America's Top DEI Podcast, we like to hear from you, the listener. Okay.
I've Had It
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You know what? I think that she's on to something because I was feeling like the cacao was growing stale. So I tabled it and then I thought maybe I prematurely tabled it. But what it was is it needed to evolve. Evolution's the key. We needed to evolve it.
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That was pretty good. It was really good. For the first time. I think Jenny, what about 8, 6, 7, 5, 3, 0, 9? Eight, six, seven. That's such a good song, wasn't it?
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I honestly believe that we don't deserve dogs, but I have these two dogs that I consider to be my biological children. I love them so much and I would do anything on the planet for them. And that's why I'm so happy to announce that today's episode is sponsored by ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program.
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That's aspcapetinsurance.com slash had it. Again, that's aspcapetinsurance.com slash had it. This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
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I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
The Southern friendliness is like a smoke and mirror show because it's just for the sake of doing it. There's nothing genuine behind it. In New York, if somebody genuinely is prohibiting you from going to point A to point B or they're taking a long time, they turn around and go, I'm so sorry I took so long. Right. It's not this faked feigned smile.
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I've Had It
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You know, so the micropenis parade that happens at the White House. Now we know Trump has a mushroom and Elon Musk has an acorn. And this makes perfect sense.
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But I think that allegedly if he had this botched penile implant surgery and it was botched and then he starts doing all this in vitro and then so there's an insecurity there that he can't get a girl pregnant the normal way. And then he gets – he's a billionaire because he gets all of these subsidies and And he can't earn his money the normal way.
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I just, I wanted to see. I wanted to see what you would do. What's the beaver sound? You know what, I think we're just like a hybrid, eagle, beaver, bevegal. I don't know. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast.
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And then he has to buy President Trump because he couldn't get elected his own way, the normal way. So we basically in this country have a South African born man. And I don't give a shit where somebody is born, but MAGA does. Right. They do. So if you're MAGA, you have a South African born man. man who does gender affirming care with his hair implants because that's gender affirming care.
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It's just a very direct, I'm so sorry I took so long. And then they turn around and scoot off. In Oklahoma, somebody could be like, I'm so sorry I took so long. And then walk up and go, well, boy, weren't his panties in a lot.
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And he has all these baby mamas, all these IVF babies, which according to the MAGA Christians, they don't think IVF should be legal. It should be missionary sex only with probably some creepy panties on or something.
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and um you have this guy who is just completely insecure from top to bottom in the most freudian style way acting out in a public manner with people's lives for sport because he's so broken on the inside yeah and nothing will ever fix him nothing the two most broken people that will never be fixed ever all the adulation all the money in the world nothing is going to fix them i mean they between the two of them
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And you cannot forget the color of their skin and their gender. That's right. That's right. White men, really, it's crazy because not all white men. There's a lot of white male listeners of all generations, of Gen Z, millennials, boomers, and Gen Xers that listen to us. And you guys fight the good fight. And we're not talking about you.
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But there's this new breed of men from the older sect that were radicalized by Fox News. And then the younger ones radicalized from like the Barstool Sports and Right Wing Manosphere and all of this stuff. And the insecurity in it and the need to constantly... be told that you're okay and you're so good at something is so exhausting.
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And I guess they all hang out with each other and they're always on these titty baby websites listening to titty baby podcasts where it's just wah, wah, wah all the time. And I guess that's what makes them feel normal because if I was around, we've had friends, you and I have had friends that play victim all All the time. And eventually I can't be around it anymore.
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You know, there's a lack of like, and I've found in smaller cities like ours, the narcissism of I'm the only customer in the universe seems to be more pronounced than in larger cities.
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I cannot listen to somebody's grievances day in and day out. And then it forms to a year and you think, why haven't you done anything to change this?
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I mean, whenever I hear Elon Musk talk and he's complaining about all of the wrongs that have happened to him or Trump talking about all the wrongs that happened to him, I immediately think in my head, what a pussy. Yes. God, this guy's a titty baby just sitting here bitching and moaning and Poor me. I'm just like, what? It's such a turnoff. And I think, well, doesn't everybody else see that?
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And I guess that all of the MAGA men are equal titty babies and probably have the same type of penile problems. And so this is just a grievance parade that they can all engage in together. It's the only thing that makes sense to me because every time I hear these MAGA men talk from Jesse Waters to Gutfeld to to Trump, Don Jr., all of them. I think these guys are the biggest fucking pussies.
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They are not tough guys at all. All they do is this person did this, this person did that. There's no strength in a whiner. Nobody likes a fucking whiner, I guess, except for MAGA.
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She's 100% right. It's so weird. The MAGA shit is so weird to me. He wears all this makeup and then they make these homoerotic photoshopped things of him. And then he sells all these riffraffs. And I was thinking about, remember that game show, Let's Make a Deal?
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It's like Trump is the host of Let's Make a Deal. He had the car commercial on the White House lawn. And then he has the coins and the Christmas ornaments and the Trump trout and all this fucking riffraff, knickknack bullshit that nobody would want to buy for some 78-year-old fat-ass, orange-faced piece of shit. Yeah. And the worship of him, the only thing that makes sense is cult indoctrination.
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And I think that will be the autopsy on this. All of these people that think they're so tough and such independent thinkers are actually in a cult.
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Well, there's actually, you can study this in political science. And it started when things were televised in the Nixon-Kennedy debate. Like that was the first time people saw their politicians. And then politicians became made for TV. And if you think about America being the center of the entertainment world, you know, industry. We have all these television shows, movies, et cetera.
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Well, then Bill Clinton up the ante when he played the saxophone on Arsenio Hall. I remember that. And then you have Obama, who was just megawatt, you know, mega crowds, easy on the eyeballs, great orator. And I just think now in order to be president of the United States, you have to have a whole it factor. And the only thing I can see that Trump has is charisma for dumb people.
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And I do think he has that. He, you know, he's, oh, you know, Hannibal Lecter, you know, and he talks like a drunk person at the bar. And if you're all kind of high on Trump, you know, you can kind of see that, OK, these It's it's he's he's like a cult leader for dumb people. I mean, that's what he is. And so he has charisma. It's not my personal.
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I don't like that style of charisma, grievances or braggadocious. Both of those things are very off putting to me. But I think probably for his character. White base, evangelical base. He's just like an evangelical preacher or a game show host.
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He, I mean, he can go and go and go and it makes no sense what he's saying, but he is a bullshit artist con man. And the reason that he's continued to ascend is because he's successful at one thing and one thing only, and that's being a con man. And he is very, very adept at that. He has succeeded in that, uh, Twice. I mean, he should be in jail right now. I mean, he should totally be in jail.
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Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. MAGA voters. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with hypochondriacs. That is not new. Specifically my husband. Poor Josh. And so, you know, about a month ago, Josh starts in like... I think there's something wrong with my brain. And I'm like, what, what's going on with your brain? Sometimes I just, I can't really remember stuff.
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If he were black or a woman, there's no question he would be in jail. But the people that like worship him and they think they're so independent and they think, oh, you have Trump derangement syndrome. People get in our comments, you ladies have TDS. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I've had it. Okay.
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Okay. I love her. What about being a black lesbian in Utah? That's tough sledding. Go, girl. I mean, Oklahoma's pretty white. Utah is white. White and religious.
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But the ex-Mormons are cool. Oh, I talked about this on Patreon. Before we address her comment, I talked about this on Patreon, but we haven't talked about it with our main audience. And so, listener, some of you commented when Pumps and I were talking about Mormons sending out the 18-year-olds and how stupid that was.
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Some people that are former Mormons messaged me and told me that the reason they send them out at 18 and 19 is so that they get rejected by the world. And they see how terrible the world is so that when they come back home from schlepping all the snake oil, then it's like, see, we told you this is the best place. See how mean everybody else is? And that's fucking diabolical.
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I have to say, I do this. I'm sorry. I know it's wrong. I know I shouldn't do it, but I have to look.
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Why did we do that? Because we're nuts. Nobody talked to anybody off the lunch. No. We were both like, I kind of want to follow that cop car. Yeah, we were eating grilled cheeses. And then on this like busy street. And all these cop cars start going by. And it's like fast. Fast. And it's super dramatic. And I was like, should we follow? And Pubs was like, 100%.
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So we just like race out to her car and then we went in pursuit. We could never track them down, but we were, we were gunning it. We were in hot pursuit. Yeah. We were going through it.
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I know. I don't want to see it either, but I don't not want to see it. Does that make sense?
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I don't even watch hospital shows. No, I know. Fictional hospital shows. But when I drive by an accident, I have to see it. I have to look. I have to.
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Sometimes I don't feel like I'm as sharp as I was. And I said, brain fog. He's no, it's more than that. It's more than that. I've been on chat GPT, which he calls chat GPS. I've been on chat GPS and I just think it's more than that. Um, so then he starts and I go like, Josh, I'm not going down this road with you. I'm not like you're aging. Um, And brain fog is a symptom of middle age.
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I have my tools on me right now. If he's not laid up on the sofa with earwax. I mean, I've never laughed so hard in my life when I was like, is Josh sick?
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Earwax. And I say it just dry like that. Oh, he's got earwax. Yeah. And I was just like, what? Here's the thing. After the forced asthma and then the COPD diagnosis, and we went to 10 different doctors and had all the exams. When he started in with the dementia, I just looked at him straight in the face and I said, I'm not doing this with you again. Like it's he gets it.
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I think it's probably like the recovering addict in him. If he thinks there's something wrong, he'll myopically focus on it and he can't he can't let it go. It's like something genetically in him. And I just refuse to feed it like I am. I will not be codependent. I will not have any part of this fucking charade of getting fake diagnoses. I will have no part of it.
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Our medical care system is fucked up enough. And in Trump's America, I will go move heaven and earth not to be a part of the problem, but to be a part of the solution. That includes not supporting my husband in his hypochondria. Okay. I think that, I think that does it today. I want to remind everybody of several things.
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Number one, we have merch and we have these great like trucker hats that are camouflaged that say Gatriot. We have Gatriot shirts. We have a book coming out and you can pre-order. It actually comes out in like, what, six weeks? Yeah. Yeah. It's coming out the end of May. And so you guys need to preorder that book. You need to subscribe to our YouTube channel.
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You need to subscribe to both of our audio channels, which is I've had it and also I have news. And you need to be the best American you can be in Trump's America. Do not bend for fascists. Do not break. Do not give up. Do not target this thing. Don't be like Target. Don't be like Target. Be like Ben and Jerry's. Be Ben and Jerry's. Absolutely. Ben and Jerry. Great example.
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Ben and Jerry's from day one has always stood for social justice. One of my favorite follows on Instagram is Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Yeah. Good for them. Those guys are... Those guys are goals. They are goals. Because they've never, ever, ever been. And guess where they're from? Vermont. Guess who else is from Vermont? Bernie. Yeah, Bernie Sanders. Vermont's cool people. Yeah, Vermont's cool.
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Except for the people in Vermont that voted for Trump. Fuck you. Right. All right, pumps, tell them.
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I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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And that's what I think you have around you all the time. He's like, I think I have dementia. I'm like, you don't have dementia. You know what time it is. You know where you are. There's no problem here. But when Josh gets an idea in his head, he is hellbent on confirming said idea. So naturally, he books a CT scan of his brain. Right. Of course.
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we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
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So he goes straight to the neurologist and gets his brain scanned, much to my surprise, much to his surprise. There's not a goddamn thing wrong with his brain. But this reminded me, and of course, I just wouldn't, I wouldn't, I'm, again, I'm more Nurse Ratched than I am Nurse Nightingale because I live with a hypochondriac.
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But I remember before COVID, like probably about four months before COVID broke out, and it wasn't even in the news or anything yet. Josh goes through this thing where he's convinced there's something wrong with his heart and or lungs. And he proceeded to go to cardiologists, pulmonologists, internal medicine doctors. I'm talking 10 different medical doctors.
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He forced a COPD diagnosis from a pulmonologist. Right. Because he had gone to her like five times. Just browbeat her. And he kept saying, there's something wrong. So she's like, okay... And he wouldn't stop. So she's like, okay, you've got asthma. And she prescribes him some inhalers. He comes home, he takes hits off the inhalers.
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He's still convinced he's got some elusive breathing problem, right? So he goes back to the same pulmonologist, brow beats the shit out of her longer. And finally he comes home, he's like, I've got COPD. I'm like, oh, do you? It's interesting. And he's talking to some friends of ours that are physicians. And the physicians are like, I don't think you have COPD. That's insane.
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Why did she diagnose you with COPD? Because he sent his lung x-rays to our friend that is a radiologist. And he was just like, you do not have COPD. You absolutely do not have COPD. And I go, I'll tell you what he has. He went to that doctor and forced this diagnosis, just like he forces a sweater on a summer day. He forced a fake COPD diagnosis. And then he realizes he doesn't have it.
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The problem is between his brains. It's more OCD than COPD and just being an all-around nut. So I ask him, like, how'd your brain scan go? He goes, I won't have the results till tomorrow. I'm like, hmm, okay. And then I go, what were the results of the brain scan? Nothing's wrong. So then he, one day, about a week after the brain scan, he's cleaning out his ears and there's a lot of wax in there.
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So he immediately books an appointment with an ENT. Of course. And he goes to the ENT and they pull out just gobs and gobs of wax. And he goes, I knew there was something wrong with me. So he tries to equate this fake personal dementia diagnosis with somehow being related to excess earwax. We're talking, I mean, there was a couple of days there where he's on the sofa claiming he can't hear. Yeah.
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He's on the sofa claiming that he can't hear. And then we're leaving for Brazil and he's putting all these drops in his ears. And Josh doesn't do anything. Like if the prescription says put one drop per day, he's going to put 20 drops per day. So he's putting these drops in his ear and I go, what's going on? He goes, I've been to the ENT twice.
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They've cleaned out my ears, but I can't hear anything. Nobody will do anything about it.
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You're lying. Looks me dead in the eye and says, nobody will do anything about it. proceeds to put three more sets of drop in his ears on our way to the airport. And we get to the airport and he's like, my ear just feels like it's clogged. I go, because you've been cramming ear drops in it. All day. So then I asked chat GPS, what happens if you put too many drops in your ears?
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And it's exactly the symptoms that Josh is describing to me. Pump the brakes on the air drops. We're about to get on a 12-hour flight to Sao Paulo. Pull yourself together. So of course he does. He pulls himself together. And I see him doing this with his ear quite a bit and stuff, but I think we're past it. But I'm just telling you, he is a total hypochondriac and it drives me bananas.
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You know, that ENT guy is like, this guy is a lunatic. That poor pulmonologist. Oh, poor thing. Was forced into the asthma diagnosis and forced into a COPD diagnosis. You know, he'd been up there. He demanded that she do. He had his lungs injected with some sort of dye. Right. So that he could have some exam where the lung lights up. Seriously. And you know he just keeps going.
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She's like, look, I don't want to get sued. I'm just going to give him some blanket diagnoses here and just move on down the road. And then, of course, that's not enough. Then we have every personal friend we have that's a physician. They're getting copies of all these tests. Which they're like, you don't have asthma, nor do you have COPD. Actually, your lungs look great. You're fine.
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I mean, they're in a catch 22. They're in CYA mode. Cover your ass. And so, yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what he's wanting the ENT to diagnose him with. Hearing loss. Inner ear problems. Because then I'm like, okay, let's play the tape. You're the most vain person on the planet. Let's say that he does say, okay, you're deaf. Now we need to give you hearing aids.
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And he wouldn't do it. He keeps saying, I go, how are your ears? And we were in Brazil. How are your ears? They're fine. I can't hear anything. I said, that's so weird because you've heard me perfectly the whole trip as you have our hosts. And he just flicks him and he goes, I'm just telling you, I can't hear. Nobody cares. I'm like, I don't. I sure don't care. I sure don't care. Welcome.
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I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star. She's the beaver. She's America's greatest legal mind. And this is hilarious. Angie, tell me the story. Tell them about being in court and what somebody came up to you.
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And she immediately identified America's greatest legal mind, the donning of a beaver, America's top DEI sensation, Angela Dawn Beaver. Kylie. Hi.
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You know, I think a lot of people don't take into account the feelings of the people behind them in line. And you see this all the time. It could be at a restaurant. You have the register congestors that we've talked about and identified as a huge problem in Trump's America. And then now we have the ATM congestors. And I've experienced the same thing. I'm like, you have to get in and out.
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That's fantastic. See, you know, I mean, I think the situation with caca is it's a battle cry. It kind of is. And I prematurely shelved it. You did.
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Don't you think I prematurely shelved caca? I think you did. Yeah, that was an impulsive. You know what? That wouldn't have happened in Kamala Harris's America. No, it would not have happened in Kamala Harris's America. No. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate.
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Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly, who after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend, Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX's Dying for Sex, all episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu.
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Listener, do you want the fastest growing GLP-1 for half the list price? Ro has got you, but don't take my word for it. Let's listen to the star of our show, Pumps, share her experience about her journey with Ro.
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15% weight loss is based on a study in non-diabetics with obesity or overweight with a weight-related condition on five milligrams of medication. And when paired with diet and exercise, half the list price when compared to auto-injector pens and when paying cash without applying insurance or savings cards. I have some news stories. This will come as no surprise to anyone. The U.S.
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slips to its lowest ranking ever in the World Happiness Report. So we're at our lowest ranking ever. This decline continues a downward trend from previous years where the U.S. ranked 23rd and we were actually 15th in 2023. Several factors contribute to the U.S. 's declining happiness ranking. Notably, there has been a significant increase in individuals dining alone. Approximately 26% of U.S.
I've Had It
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Nobody is putting any guardrails on this unhinged helicopter mothering. And it's all these kids have known their entire life. So it's normal to the kids. And these moms then segueing and extending this on into college makes perfect sense to me.
I've Had It
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I mean, these are the moms that are in there decorating their boy, their son's lockers, decorating their locker rooms, making sure everything is at the high school, that they're up there, that they're knee deep and all of it. Yeah. This type of dysfunction just doesn't end overnight. It's a cancer that continues.
I've Had It
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It's gross. It's fucking gross. I remember when Dylan, my oldest son, was a freshman in high school and he was going on a trip to New York City. And I went to the parent meeting because my kid was like 14 and I'm sending him to New York. And I trusted they'd done the trip every year. I didn't have any questions. The guy opens it up to questioning.
I've Had It
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And this one mother asks about what their potential 9-11 plan is if New York City goes under attack. She wasn't satisfied with his answer. And then she said, do you think it would be possible for me to go and stay at the same hotel but just act like I don't know you guys? To which the teacher, to his credit, said, that's not the point of this trip. Right.
I've Had It
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The point of this trip is to take the kids to New York to introduce them to the museums, opera, and the arts without their parents noticing. You know, this need to rebel against their parents. So it just this doesn't surprise me very much. You just been through the biggest helicopter toxic codependent shit show with your youngest. You bitched about it nonstop on this very podcast.
I've Had It
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And then you learn, oh, this was a racket. So to keep going back and doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result – That's what therapists call the definition of insanity.
I've Had It
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I bet there could be some great content in there. OK, pull it out. Here's one. Is it appropriate to email my child's professors at the start of the semester to introduce myself and establish a line of communication? I just want to make sure I'm aware of any issues before they become a problem. How involved do other parents get with their child's professors?
I've Had It
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Where can I get a list of professors emails? Thanks in advance. And somebody comments, no, it is not appropriate. Your adult child is responsible for introductions. He or she should update you as necessary. And then somebody else comments, definitely no, you have to cut the apron strings. Love the commenters.
I've Had It
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And a problem. The professor immediately hates the child. I would. This is what these high school parents that I'm struggling with right now in the group mean. They are impeding their children from transitioning from... to college. All of this hyper fixation on the senior year is an impediment to those children having agency and autonomy over their own lives.
I've Had It
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As when your child is a senior, it is about them really advocating for themselves and managing their schedule, doing all of their shit. It is getting crazy how involved the parents are. I see parents more involved in my son's senior year class than I did when they were in kindergarten.
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We rode a bus when we were like six and you had to walk several blocks to get to the bus stop. By yourself. You had a key and you went to school and then you came home. Right. And you let yourself in, made your snack. There's no cell phone. And then your parents typically didn't even call you and you'd see them when they'd roll home later. Right.
I've Had It
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And it's fucked up, in my opinion. I agree. I think it's super fucked up. Okay, here's another one. Hello, my son is really into chess. He's going to be an aerospace engineering... who's trying out for a trumpet position in the AAMB and staying in Tarkington. If anyone else's child is interested in chess or would like to be, please reach out. I'll share his info.
I've Had It
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He plays online as well, and he's pretty good. He's always looking for a challenge, and this is a great way for kids who need to meet some new friends to get together.
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I really do. Where does everyone send their kids to get quarters for the machines? Yeah. We don't have access to the app and need quarters. The dorm office doesn't have a trade system. We tried Target and Walmart, but they said no. We even tried two local banks and the other bank, and they said no. I'm speechless. Here's what I would do. Well, I have a kid that's been in Syracuse, New York.
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You got to get, there's some monthly services you can sign up for where they deliver vetted items. Oh, they're vetted. For your dog. Reliable sources. Yeah. Because I'm all for spoiling the canines. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. The phrase mama heart. Somebody said it to me recently. And I was talking about, because our travel schedule can be so rigorous.
I've Had It
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He's starting on his fourth year. I'm just I have never communicated with anybody at Syracuse University ever, ever, ever. I don't even see his grades. They don't mail them to me because he's a legal adult. I have to ask him. That's right. Dylan, will you please take a screenshot of your grades and send it to me before I pay this tuition so I can vet that you're doing what you say you're doing?
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Right. At this very moment right now, I have no idea what he's doing. He could be completely stoned off his ass. He could be out all night. He could be at class. I just don't know because I don't go to Syracuse.
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Or how he gets quarters. Because if I was typing this out on the Internet, asking people to help me figure out how to get quarters for my child. and I had bred, I would realize I have made a huge mistake in breeding that I've been on the earth close to 50 years and I can't crack the case on how to get quarters. And I'm dragging my child into this breathtaking hypocrisy. It is obscene.
I've Had It
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It is so embarrassing. Here's one. Hey all, could we send a text to our kids to find those kids sitting, hanging alone and grab them? My mama heart is aching for these kids. I know they'll be okay, but let's encourage them to seek out those who might need a friendly face right now. Boiler up. And then a bunch of heart emojis. This is just sad. I mean, it's sad. It really is.
I've Had It
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You know what's so fucked up about this is they think they're being so helpful. And if you were to put them in front of a therapist, the therapist would diagnose them with issues. The mother.
I've Had It
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I think that this is just unhinged. toxic parenting. Right. And the fact that there are groups of this where they're communicating with each other. All right, here's one. My baby boy just moved into his dorm. He's been having issues with his roommates and calls me every night crying. Is there any way I can move into my son's dorm? I miss my son so much and I'm so scared for him.
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Like, that's so bad. I remember when I moved Dylan to Syracuse. You were with us. Yeah. And we moved him in and you and Josh had gone to like Target or Walmart to get some stuff. And we're in his dorm room. There's no air conditioning. It's one of the hottest days on record in Syracuse, New York. And he's like, he says to me. Why am I moving here? I like my life.
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I liked everything that was going on in Oklahoma City. Why am I doing this? And I go, because this is the next step. You can't be the loser that stays in Oklahoma City and lives at your parents' house and does nothing but play video games all day. This is the next step. I hate it for you. It's going to be painful. It's going to be awkward. You're going to have to dig deep.
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But this is where you start growing. I can't fix this for you and I can't do this for you. You have to throw yourself in. You have to make friends. You have to do it all. And he did. And we talk about it now to this day. It was an incredible growing experience for him because he couldn't just come home on the weekend and have me help him with something.
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And I was talking about, like, you know, I'm trying to juggle my son's needs with my work schedule. And I've had to do that throughout my kid's entire life because I've always been the primary breadwinner. And it's just, it's a struggle. And, you know, to make ends meet and meet everybody's demands, plus fulfill your career. And it's just always been a big struggle in adulthood.
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If he was sick, he had to go to Walgreens, to the dock in the box, advocate for himself. You have to figure it out. I can't imagine getting on a... Syracuse University mom group me, which I don't know that there is one. Right. Hopefully there's not.
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And typing out something like this and humiliating myself, my intelligence, my ability to mother, my ability to see my child as his own person, fully capable of handling himself in an autonomous way. But this talking about wanting to move into the dorm with them. That's where I think.
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But people do. All right. And here's the last one. How often are you checking up with your kids? I text in the morning, afternoon, and at night. And we usually talk before he goes to sleep just to make sure he's on track with homework and assignments and class attendance. Is it too much to ask for a FaceTime call before each class so I know he is attending? Oh, my gosh. That is so bad.
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And it's like... The parents, when your kid is 19, 18, 19, 20, 21, and you're talking to them on the phone every single day, you have a toxic and meshed relationship with your child. Your child, by nature of being at college, is not that interested in their parents anymore. And if they're calling you a whole bunch and you're wanting them to call you a whole bunch, you probably have...
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major problems with this child and their socialization because you've intervened too much in it. I think I talked to Dylan once, twice a week, tops. It's just wild that you would be calling your mom. I mean, when you're 19 and 20, you're busy partying, making bad decisions, doing all of the things you're supposed to be doing at that age. Checking in with mommy multiple times a day, it's really...
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It's sad for this mom that that's what her life has come to and that she puts that much pressure on her kid to fill her needs instead of the opposite way. At this age, it should be how you're on your own, buddy, but I'm here for like assistance if you need it. But I can't solve your day in, day out, everyday problems because I'm enabling you if I do that.
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And this woman said to me, yeah, that just really pulls on your mama heartstrings. And I just want to be like, okay, shut up. Right. Like I'm being an adult and I'm talking about an adult reality that a lot of working women face this walking this tightrope of. I'm working, I have this career, but then also all of this societal pressure that this is what an ideal mother looks like.
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And if he had a girlfriend, you wouldn't be hearing as much. A hundred percent. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes the kid calls you more. When they just don't have anybody else to call. Right. Exactly. These kids, I feel sorry for anybody who dates any of these kids. Can you imagine? We talk about emasculating. Most of these were referencing their son.
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Don't marry this person. I think it draws the person to want to rebel even more and marry the person to spite their parents. It would be like, okay, look at this. I'm just, I'm not. You just think. I am so about my kids' lives being their lives. Short of the person having a massive drug problem, being abusive, etc., etc.,
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But if my son has a relationship with another adult and she has a relationship with her parents that I think is fucked up, but she's nice to my son, my son really likes her, I am not going to inject myself in there because the child is never going to listen to the parents and go, oh my God, my mom is right. That's true. And then what you've done is you've created a wedge.
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And at some point, because your son gets laid by that person, at some point, they're going to tell the spouse, my mom thinks your parents are nuts. And then you're not going to have access to your son's life or your grandkids because you didn't mind your own fucking business. That's what I think. I think I'd have to. At least bring it to the attention. I just think I'd have to.
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I don't want to be that mom. I don't want to be the busybody parent. Now, if my child came to me and openly asked me about it, I would tiptoe and tread very gingerly because at the end of the day, if that's who they marry, I'm putting a... a wedge in me gaining access to their lives and potential grandkids and whatnot.
I've Had It
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And I think it also sends a message that the child can't advocate for themselves or use critical thinking. I don't know. I'm just, I'm a lot more cautious about these things because I see from all of the stuff that Josh and I went through and parents can have such a massive impact. And I just, I, I think at the end of the day, it boils down to mind your own fucking business.
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If there is an egregious danger that this relationship poses to my child, I wouldn't blink. I would jump in front of a bus. I would do whatever. Somebody not liking their in-laws is fucking normal. Right. Everybody doesn't like their in-laws. It's normal. So I'm not going to create a wedge in my son's life and be a busybody and because I don't fucking know what's right.
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Josh and I haven't had the fucking best marriage in the planet. I'm not a fucking expert in it. I don't think I would do it. Yeah, I probably would.
I've Had It
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If my child wanted to join a mega church? Yes, because I think it's abusive. I think it's abusive to his being to be told to emotionally blackmail. I think it's a cult. And I would intervene in the same way that a person would intervene in their child joining a cult. I would be like, so you think that...
I've Had It
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This is what an ideal mother does. This idealized motherhood. And I feel like that whole mama heart branding is a part of that. Like you'll see these moms, I've never missed one of my kids' activities. And I always think, what a luxury, right? That must be because I've missed several of my kids' activities because I had a career and I have a career that pays me very well.
I've Had It
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Yeah, I absolutely would intervene because evangelical megachurch Christianity does nothing but promote the patriarchy and diminish marginalized groups. So I would see that as a clear and present danger to my child's idea of seeking serenity and having a happy marriage, just like somebody would if their child joined Scientology, because I see them both as equally ridiculous.
I've Had It
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MAGA would be on my list, too. A super MAGA. I have faith that my children not being indoctrinated in religion and valuing critical thinking. Now, listen, the penis wants what the penis wants. You know, and it is a very powerful alluring hormones or something that kind of go beyond logic. But I have a feeling just based on who my oldest son has been with for four or five years.
I've Had It
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She's non-religious, incredibly open-minded, blends with our family incredibly well. Not a magnet, not a, you know, Bible thumper, et cetera, et cetera. My younger son has dated some girls and... They never really went on, the relationships never went on that long. And I'd be like, so why'd you break up with her? And he was like, she's cute, but you know, she just really wasn't super smart.
I've Had It
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So I kind of I mean, I kind of feel like I won't have that issue because we've really valued as a family critical thinking. But I mean, you never know. I mean, there could be somebody who is just I mean, hot. Yeah. Hellcat bed. Total.
I've Had It
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Just has a crazy ass Trump her parents. She is the hottest thing on the planet. Look, I know that that could probably happen. But at the end of the day. I would just try to keep out. Now, the religious thing I would dive into because I think it is fundamentally abusive and damaging. Evangelical Christianity is to human beings. But the MAGA shit, that would be tough. That would be a tough one.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Yeah. I mean, I would think that they would spin out. I mean, based on what I've seen with my boys and their dating thus far, I'm not worried about that because we, I don't know, we value facts as a family and we value critical thinking. We're secular. So I hope that I've given them the tools to decipher through that kind of thing. But again, the hormones want what the hormones want.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Imagine what a cult that is that you go to college. And you decorate your dorm room at 18 years old with a Trump flag. I thought it was pretty. That's pretty.
I've Had It
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But a Trump flag. Yeah, it was a big. To me, it's like when I see that, I just think like it's modern day KKK. I agree. You know what I mean? I see it as like a flag of oppression. But I couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I don't have a lot of high hopes for me. Okay. So in conclusion, you'll intervene, MAGA, evangelical, crazy parents. I think I'll see you, Maga, and I'll see you, crazy Christian.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I've never had help from a husband or parents. It's all been me. I mean, at times where my husband was you know had severe problems with addiction and whatnot but it think about women that are divorced or have never married and they have a couple of kids and they work a couple of jobs right to make
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
But if the girlfriend has crazy parents, I think I have to bow out on that. I hope I can. I don't want to judge somebody based on their crazy parents if they've been kind and sweet to my boy. Yeah. I just feel like all that shit kind of as you get older.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
All right. That's all we have today. Listen to both of our podcasts. Subscribe to both of our podcasts. And if you have not left a five-star review, meet Kurt and Meemaw. You can't even imagine the horrors that she will descend into. Right. Okay. All right. Like, subscribe. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.
I've Had It
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It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
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That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
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to make do in their life and how debilitating it would be to hear all of this idealized mothering all the time and to be around all the insufferable power moms all the time. Yeah.
I've Had It
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Welcome Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. We are. I've had a podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's America's legal eagle. The biggest name in podcasting. And I call her Pumps. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
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Well, I think it's this. There's twofold. There's the mom flexing because they have the time and the luxury. to do that. And then there's always this pressure on our species in particular to be the super parent.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And I like where the millennials and Gen Z are heading with this because you have paternity leave and taking a bigger role, men taking a larger role in their child's lives because Josh and I have always had to divide and conquer. like I'm traveling out of town for this design install. I'm going to miss this event, this event, this event, and this event. Will you cover it?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Other times he's been unable to do stuff and I take the lead on it. And there's just, there's always these sayings, you know, your mom heart and this pressure on women to be these idealized mothers, to be the perfect mother. And I think that that is, Setting your child up for failure because the perfect mother doesn't exist. We're all human beings and we all have struggles.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And I think it's really shocking. At least it was for me. And I know I think it was for you, too. When you are an adult and adulthood comes raining down on you. Yes. How ill prepared we all are for it.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Just the total lack of coping skills. And I just, you know, I've always been very candid and very honest with my kids. Like, I wish I could be at every event. I just simply cannot. I have a career. If you want your tuition paid, if you want this house... all of the extra things that we do, it comes from me and I have to work. And the sacrifice is I can't be the power mom.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And my sons would always say, I'm so glad you're not the power mom. I always feel so badly for the kids whose moms are up at the school all the time. Right. So anyway, Kathy, do you have any reviews or anything to read to us on the World Wide Web?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
That is so cool. That makes me just so happy. I would like to commend both of those reviewers because I've noticed for taking part and going over to Apple, not being a lackluster listener, for giving us five stars, giving us very thoughtful, helpful, interesting reviews. Snarky. I've noticed a little stall out in the reviews clicking upwards. I have too. I do. I've noticed, haven't you, Kathy?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
The reviews of I've Had It podcast are like the prosperity gospel. They are. In evangelical Christianity. You give the money to the megachurch preacher. The megachurch preacher gets a shit ton of money, a nice house, and a private plane. You give the review to the I've Had It podcast. Our mama hearts are full. Right. Kylie has content. And you're going to get better content because we are old.
I've Had It
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We are haggard. Pumps is a whore. All of these things are true. We are produced by an overqualified lesbian. We're insecure. We're train wrecks. We think we're going to face plant any minute. Give us the five-star reviews. God damn it. What other women our age are out here cussing their hearts out doing this shit day in, day out? Listen up. Patriots, Gators.
I've Had It
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Do y'all want us to get on camera without Botox? No, is the answer to that. Do you want Pops to get out here? Yeah, you want Kylie to get her hair color done? Right. Pops has got these new extensions she's got to keep in check. She gets these eyelash things. I get a little Botox. Thank God today's eyelash day. I mean, for fuck's sake. For fuck's sake.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
It takes a lot of fucking money to look this bad. I've had it. Had it. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. All right. Speaking of mama hearts...
I've Had It
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There has been something that we have been, we've started to whistleblow on, like we have many things since the infancy stages of this podcast. You'll review, you'll remember that one of the things that we brought your attention to were the gender reveals and the subsequent missing persons case, fires, injuries that have resulted from that death.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I'm still very intrigued by the missing person, but we'll dive into that at a later date. Also, the whistleblowing about Stanley Cups and all the fuckery going on with those. Trumpism. Right. The straight line from Stanley to Trump. All this stuff. Something that's really piqued our interest lately are these college parents helicoptering over their college kids' lives.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And somebody on the Internet has taken... screenshots of one of these mom group me's Facebook groups. And I want to do a dramatic reading of some of these for the listener. So one mama has a broken mama heart and she posts on the internet about her legally adult son who is at college. My son doesn't like the water at the dorm. What can we do for regular external water supply for the kids?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
There's a larger point here. It's not her business. It's not her business. She doesn't know it. As a parent, you tell the child, that's the water that they have, darling. Welcome to adulthood. Right. It's not perfect. Mommy can't fix everything. That's the end. This is where you're going to school. This is the water that they have. There's nothing I can do about it. Quit bitching to me about it.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
That's just a pussy kid, for sure. Okay. Well, because his mother has taught him how to be a pussy. She's an able pussyism. All right. Another... Broken Mama Heart posts, would anyone know if someone has a bedroom or couch to rent occasionally? My son is living in a cold room at a frat with 25-ish other boys and isn't getting any sleep.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
You. I do, too. I hate to say it. Because we've all fallen prey to this. And the first time you order some item that they've made some sleek video for and you think, oh, my God, my dog would like that. Or, oh, my God, that blouse is so cute. And then it directs you to the website. It seems a little sketch. And then it takes four weeks to get to your house, which is a super-duper red flag.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Woke up Wednesday night with someone climbing into bed with him because the person was so drunk they couldn't find their own bunk. It wouldn't be every night, but just when he really needs to get some sleep. I know this is a strange request, but he asked me to ask about it on Facebook.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Telling your child to get a hotel is in the exact same library, in the exact same book that creates these titty babies. What you say is... I'm sorry. This is what college life is about. You're going to have to draw boundaries with your friends. I can't fix this. And I'm not going to embarrass you or myself by putting it on Facebook. This is when you have to learn conflict resolution skills.
I've Had It
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And I'm not a part of your resolution because I don't go to school there. And that isn't my room. And that isn't my bunk.
I've Had It
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I'm so horrified about this. All right. Another one says, is it too much to ask the college to install cameras in my child's dorm room? I just want to make sure they're sleepy enough and staying on top of their cleaning and laundry. It's hard to trust. They'll remember everything on their own. And before anyone worries about roommate privacy, he is in a single room. That's psychotic. It is.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
That is psychotic. It doesn't surprise me, though. It doesn't surprise me because I've been involved in the high school. Right now, I have a high school senior and I've seen what these parents are doing. And I am waving my arms in the group me saying, why are we involved in this? We're not going to the dance. Why aren't the kids doing this? So.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Yes and yes, of course some American companies and some Americans are good, but whataboutery won't get us anywhere. Number two, if an American product has been previously bought, it can be used until it breaks, at which point it cannot be replaced by another American product.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Note, if a working product, example, an iPhone, uses American services, example, iCloud storage, it must be immediately replaced by a product that does not require American services to work. Similarly, one is allowed to keep any existing American friends, but making new American friends is verboten.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Number three, if an artist, a writer, musician, filmmaker, actor, whatever, is American, their work is taboo. It is unacceptable to experience American art on existing physical formats, but as per rule two, these cannot be replaced Once defunct to support American artists is support is to support the American military media entertainment complex. Sorry, Bruce.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Number four, it's not a principle if it doesn't cost you something. All right. Now put up the next slide. I'm sure there are plenty of good, well-meaning Americans out there sharing good and interesting insights, reckonings, gifs, and feelings. So please don't think I'm being rude if I block, mute, or ignore you until 2028. I'm just following the rules.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Netflix, Apple TV+, Disney+, and Prime Video will all have to go. Arrivederci. The studio, Reacher and Slow Horses, Hasta Luego, Seinfeld repeats, Breaking Bad, Binges, and The Good Place, Water Cooler Moments. And for music, I have Spotify, which is Swedish, so already not American. But remember, no streaming of American music. We don't want royalties following into the wrong hands.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Never again will I groove to Marvin, Aretha, or Otis, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, time to saddle up and ride into the sunset. The list of prohibited foods is lengthy and surprising, but it will be necessary to get familiar with all of the brands owned and managed by Krafts, Heinz, General Mills, and Mondelez to ensure that no prescribed product accidentally gets into the shopping trolley.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
This exercise is not about rejecting the modern world or the pleasures and comforts of modern life. It's about turning away from America and turning towards Europe. One day I'd love to go back to the States and eat a cheeseburger in a Brooklyn dive bar, toasting old friends and new with shots of rail bourbon in the land of the free, but not for the time being, not under the current regime.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
So in summary, this is something that every American needs to be aware of, that the anti-American sentiment abroad cannot be overstated. And my message to the triple Trumpers, to the country club Republicans, to the white women that are fiscally conservative but socially liberal, The brand damage to everything American is horrific. This is one of our biggest allies. the UK.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And this sentiment is echoing through Canada, through Mexico, all over Europe, in Asia, Australia. They want nothing to do with us. And if you stop for a second and get out of your right-wing media echo chamber and think, Holy shit.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
They watched us elect to president a man that was convicted of 34 felonies, an adjudicated rapist, and who tried to overturn a free and fair election and says all sorts of crazy shit all the time. And then picks a fight with all of his allies and wants us to still worship them like they're so great. The arrogance.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I think corporate America needs to have like a therapy session or like go to rehab to learn about boundaries. Because it's like you say, no, I'm not interested. And then like you say, then it's like, oh, you don't want to say 15% off. And it's like, it's just unregulated capitalism and the mining of our information and all of this. crap I've had it with. I've had it with all of it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And I hope that Americans can have conversations with the triple Trumpers in their lives and explain to them and help them get out of this deranged cult. The damage to this is going to go far beyond your pocketbook.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And the European Union has also been very targeted about the way they're conducting business with American products, targeting red states. Because here's the difference between those governments and the current government we have. They understand American politics and the American electorate. more than MAGA does, more than Fox News blowhards do.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
They understand the cancer in America and how it permeates and cooks in these red states full of all of these bad ideas. And I will never understand why Democrats have not actively attacked red state governments the way Republicans have attacked blue cities. And they have, you know, you can get on Fox News, these blue cities are dangerous, they're crime-ridden, blah, blah, blah.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Homeless, et cetera, et cetera. Mind you, they're all supposed to be big Jesus people. When they see a homeless people, they're just, ugh, gross homeless people. There's no compassion, none with these people. But I don't understand because when you look at our state,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
You know, our governor says out loud all the time, and anybody who knows anything about government, who's taken a basic government class knows that if somebody says this sentence, we need to run government like we run a business, that they're stupid. Right, well, because you cannot run government the way you run a business. Government is not set up for profit.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It's set up for security and safety and for the well-being of people. Business is cutthroat. Business is set up for profit. So the fact that you have red state governors saying that and thinking they're smart. And they say it to an electorate that continues to be brainwashed over and over and over election cycle after election cycle to vote against their own best interest.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And it's like, you know, I got in that heated exchange with Rahm Emanuel on this podcast. And before we had the heated exchange, he was talking about education and how important education should be for people. Who can disagree with that? I'll tell you who disagrees with that. Oklahoma electorate who has had Fox News and Ryan Walters, the superintendent of school, propagandize the public.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
for years now and saying there is a drag queen agenda and there is a gender woke transgender ideology that's ruining your kids in schools. And they say it over and over and over again. So suddenly those parents don't care about test scores and they don't care about their kids getting a good education. They're worried about an imaginary problem. that scares them.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And so it's hard to talk about facts with people that choose to be lies. So you can't talk about the problem with American education because where are the worst test scores? In red states. Absolutely.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
You can't talk about promoting a good education until you deprogram the electorate that there is no hidden drag queen trans agenda that's going to indoctrinate your kids at school because they believe that. I had a person in Oklahoma that has a law degree. that my husband plays tennis with. Tell me, and this was about two years ago.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Yeah, you know, kids are identifying as cats and up at Jinks, which is a suburb of Tulsa, up at Jinks, my friend, her daughter saw a litter box In the classroom, I said, is there a picture of it? Well, this went on all over the United States.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
How do you get people to care about test scores and education if they think there's litter boxes and kids are taking shits in litter boxes in between transgender ideology courses in public schools? Which the latter part of just said all of that is a lie. Right. It's all propaganda. And so the Democrats have to be smarter and quit assuming the electorate is so dumb.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
There's a percentage of the electorate that's really dumb that you're never going to move. But the people who don't follow the 24 hour news cycle, those are the people you need to bring on board and say, this is insanity.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And if you want to go, if that's like, you know, street drug, if you want to go to the hard drugs, go to the multi-level marketing salespeople. Oh, that's crazy. Because they know you personally. Yeah. And then they personally start pressuring you. And you and I probably, we've talked about this before.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And I think the response to this is we have to start telling the truth. And there are two big lies that the Democratic Party has not responded to that the Republicans have propagated onto the electorate. We used to talk about the big lie, the 2020 race. OK, that was the big lie. But there are two. There's actually three big lies in my opinion. Number one, the 2020 race and the results of that.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
The second one is that. Democrats are killing babies after they're born, a post-birth abortion. That is a lie. It is a complete lie that millions of MAGA Republicans believe. They believe that a baby is born and that doctors and nurses in the hospitals murder that baby. They believe that happens. They believe it's real. The Democrats have not responded to that. You know how they respond to it?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
The person who promoted that lie, who said it on tape, Liz Cheney, was trotting around with our nominee. I don't think unless Liz Cheney looks in the camera and says, I knew that was a lie and I know that it fed and birthed Donald Trump and I was a part of the problem.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And unless she atones for that, because we live in a state where women have lost their right to abortion care, then she has no business trotting around with our candidates. That's my opinion. The third big lie is that Trump said all over the campaign that, um, Kids are going to school and getting their wieners wiped off. That is not happening. That is a complete lie.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But the trans issue gets people so crazy. After Ram and I had our episode, I get all of these messages in my DM box saying,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
you believe in gender mutilation you don't know what a real woman is and blah blah blah blah blah and just all and i'm like out of all the issues in the world what you just said none of those are even true but like that's your main focus like that's that's your huge focus and it's a huge focus for all of them because the minute donald trump tanks the stock market what is fox talking about right trans pool players in thailand
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
playing pool and I'm talking about table pool. They promote it and they scapegoat it and the Democrats have got to respond to it and say, we are not going to abandon human rights for anybody. Number one, nobody is changing anybody's gender at school. That is not happening. That doesn't happen. Number two, nobody is making your child be a different gender than what they are.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I don't know if we have on the pod or not, but there was this woman when Pumps and I sent our kids to the same preschool and there was this woman and she called me up and she was like, hey, Jennifer, how are you doing? I was like, hey, how are you? I mean, like we knew each other carpool pickup drop off. She's like, I just have a great opportunity for you.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Number three, do you want your kid, if you give birth to a little girl that ends up being kind of a tomboy, do you want her being picked on because genetically she's not as feminine as maybe the girliest girl in the class? Or if you give birth to a little boy and maybe he's a little effeminate, do you want him bullied for being a sissy or an F word?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Because we've all known that has existed already. all of our lives. So who are we? Do we protect the kids that get bullied? Or do we bully them? And do we allow the government to bully them? And do we allow a political party to lie and say that teachers and school administrators are surgically changing The gender of children. It's simply not fucking happening.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But I'll tell you where children are getting injured. And there is a shit ton of evidence to this, not at a drag show, not at, you know, there's no sort of radical trans agenda, but it's all these churches. Right. Every single sect of Christianity has massive payouts, massive cover ups of massive child sex abuse. Nobody talks about that. We talk about the imaginary stuff that's never happened.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I agree. And then so so then let's talk this through, Pumps. Like, OK, so what is their end game with this? You're anti-trans, so what does that mean? Trans people don't have First Amendment rights, so we are a country of freedom for everybody except for the most marginalized, less than 1%. Is that what it means?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I think you'd be incredible at selling Arbonne. I was like, oh, thanks so much. I'm an interior designer. So I don't need to take on another job, especially I have these two toddlers. But I mean, you could make so much money. I think you would absolutely crush it. And here's what your plan is. And I had to tell her like, no, four or five different times.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Does it mean that if a guy wants to dress kind of feminine or wear a skirt or something, that we're going to make that illegal so everybody else has freedom except for them? What does it mean policy-wise?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It means that you are denying somebody freedom and either we are a free country and that means everybody, even the people you might personally think because you're so shallow and you're such a dick, you might think those people are freaks. Maybe that's what they think. I like the freaks. I want to hang out with the cool people. As an atheist that was raised in this state,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
All of the Jesus shit drove me so crazy and people were so mean that I wasn't religious and so judgmental that I wasn't religious. When I went to college, I found solace and friendship with a bunch of gay men because they too had been judged by the same people that had judged me my whole life. Told me my mother was going to hell. Told me my father was going to hell. Told me I was going to hell.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Told me I had demons running all around me. All this crazy ass mega church bullshit. Meanwhile, these people were total pieces of shit. And so I found like my longest friends that I've had since college are these group of gay men. Some of them sadly have died, succumbed to AIDS. And in that group, I found people that had emotional depth, emotional intelligence, fun, a lot of lack of judgment.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
We deep... deep conversations at a really young age that still continue. I ran into a friend of mine that I've been friends with since I was 17. He now lives in Brazil and he was in Oklahoma City. We sat at a coffee shop and talked for like three hours about deep political things.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And those are the friendships that I've had with members of that community, not to mention they helped influence my style and my interior design business and all sorts of things. But I don't understand what their end game is. I don't. Other than to deny people freedom.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Ultimately, I think I like abruptly hung up on her. And then for the remainder of the preschool year, she refused to speak to me. And so... From my analysis of this, I'm like, okay, you call me unsolicited. Right. It's your idea that I'm going to be an Arbonne sales lady, not my idea. And it's an opportunity for you. I say I'm not interested like 17 different ways.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I want to share with you all something that was an unintended consequence of this podcast. So when Pumps and I started the podcast, it took off. And then we went on tour and we would have these VIP meet and greet lines. And we met people in every single city that we went to. And We met young, early 20s, maybe 30s, a few trans people in each location. And they would cry when they met us.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
We didn't, I had no idea. I had no idea that our audience, we had a young audience that found a sense of belonging with us simply because we refused to buy into this narrative that somebody had less value because they didn't fit with societal constructs that we have. And that really started resonating. So in that episode with Rahm Emanuel,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
You know, I'm open to having all sorts of political conversations. But what bothered me about it was he didn't have to throw in the bathroom part. Right. He did it. And that was real insidious to me.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And I just my reaction was just really visceral, like a mother, like I would defend my own kids because he did it on purpose to send a signal to voters that are never going to vote for the Democratic Party. Right. that, Hey, I'm not going to allow this kind of talk to go on in our party. You know, I'm going to be the centrist savior and I'm going to put a stop to all this nonsense.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And somehow at the end of this, I'm the asshole. Right. Yeah. That happens all the time. All the time. Multi-level marketing is the worst because a lot of them, they target megachurches. And that's where they're kind of rooted in megachurch culture because you have like people that are already grouping together, like Bible studies and whatnot.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And that's number one. It, it, It devalues the progress that since the last time he won an election with Obama, after gay marriage became legal, people felt safer to start saying who they were. Right. And showing who they were.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And the reason that the gay pride parade is called Pride is because they went from feeling so much shame for so long to finally being able to be out and feel pride about who they were. Because you have to remember, the first people that truly shamed these people were Or their parents. Their parents.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And that's a wound that you might say kumbaya and all that, but that's something that gay child's going to remember forever. My first bully was my parent. That's just my gay friends that I have. That is a wound that is always there forever. your own parents.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
So then when you pile that on that it's your government too, and then your political party that's supposed to fight for you just casually in some sort of anecdote metaphor throws in the bathroom thing. I just thought that was just, I thought that was so low rent. I thought that was just such pandering to a group of people that why would you want to pander to them? Because
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
In the year 2025, the degree of separation from you and somebody who doesn't fit the exact janitor norm that you think they should, it's not very much if you live in an urban area.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Like, why does Caitlyn Jenner get to go to Mar-a-Lago? Right. And use the women's restroom and that other MAGA trans influencer. Why did they get to do that? And it's all fun and games and y'all put it on Instagram.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But then, you know, anybody, any other time that you're failing in your polling or you're tanking the economy or Fox News needs to get the eye off the ball of what an abject failure Trump is. That's who you rake over the coals. Yeah, like that. That to me, if I if the Democrats abandon trans people. People will abandon the Democrats in mass because freedom.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
This is either a free country or it isn't. And if you were born with one gender and science has shown and this is what nobody ever wants to talk about. Science has shown that while somebody is in utero, when the brain's developing, it can get flooded with either.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
testosterone or estrogen and then another time in utero when the genitals are developing it gets the other and so this is something that happens in nature this is not some plot to uh uh own mega churches or own MAGA or to fuck up anybody's life, it doesn't really impact your life.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And it makes me so mad that there's this talk in some leading Democrats that I agree it's not the biggest issue in America simply by numbers. Right. The numbers. Simply by numbers. Gun violence in children is a far bigger issue, but we don't talk about that anymore. Never talk about that.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But if they abandon it and they do, if Democrats do the same thing that Republicans do and scapegoat them, fuck the Democrats. I am so sorry. But that is just you will lose all of your base that is under 55 years old. Gone. Poof. Yeah.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And so you see a lot of this riffraff, knickknack, life coach, make up,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
You can't talk about the stuff that – like Rahm wanted to just purely talk about education. And it was so divorced from reality and it was intellectually dishonest because I was trying to explain to him what was going on in our state. You cannot have a conversation about test scores and education in the state of Oklahoma unless you're willing to talk about the big lie
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
That schools are whacking wieners off. Right. And it is a lie that schools are promoting gender ideology and woke ideology. It's fucking bullshit. It's not happening. It's simply not happening. This is an authoritarian attack on education and be intellectually honest about it. Be honest about it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
dishes all that shows yeah it really they really start accelerating up the food chain on that in the megachurch culture because it's so networked also the mom culture the power mom culture and it's a grift which megachurches are grift multi-level marketing is a grift and it's just I've had it Donald Trump is a grifter and has the biggest grifting empire we've ever seen I can't even the the
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And that's what bothers me about it because the two things are linked because they've used – MAGA has used the trans issue to delegitimize education. The reason they've done that is they want to delegitimize education as an authoritarian play. So they're all interlinked. And I think it's just –
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Either treat the electorate with respect and dignity and be a warrior for democracy, for everybody, First Amendment for everybody, even if you think that person's a freak, even if you think that person should dress a different way, even whatever it is. It's a free country. And we used to say that all the time. Oh, it's a free country. Right.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
That used to be something that was a part of the American thing. Well, it's a free country. They can do whatever they want to do. You don't hear that that much anymore. No, you don't. You don't hear people say that that much anymore. Because MAGA wants to regulate morality. They want everybody to be as miserable and wound up as they are. And when you see a pride parade... I see joy.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I see people that had to face their parents, their churches, their redneck towns they grew up in. and probably cried in their bed so many times, feeling bullied, snot-slinging, and then finally they were able to come out and feel pride about who they were. And then you have all these little crusty-ass white Republican Christians that get so triggered because you're having fun.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Well, it's a free country, right? So what is it, Mag? Is it a free country or is it not?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
No, I don't either. And I just think the Democrats, if you the reason the Democratic polling is 20 something right now is because we have Chuck Schumer and what's his name? Hakeem Jeffries. that couldn't fight a toothpick. I mean, it's just like, come on, man. Nobody wants to talk about the people that are bringing out tens of thousands of people to protest, AOC and Bernie Sanders.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And it is an economic populist message that is for everybody. Even for MAGA, that specifically will benefit rural communities. And the Democratic establishment wants to come in and tell everybody, we know we're the centrist saviors. We know how to save this thing. Look at how well us trotting around with, you know, Liz Cheney did.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It worked out great because it's just and I, you know, and I bet I think Kamala is obviously smart enough that she probably went back and she probably looks at that. And, you know, I'm not criticizing her for doing that because you take your advisors information and what they think that you would do.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And I think she's that discipline that she would say, OK, this abortion issue is really resonating with women. And we're showing that Republicans don't. And Democrats can come together on this issue. The problem is what that was. And I felt it at the time.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I felt an abandonment of the base because I remember Liz Cheney looking into the camera saying that Americans were killing babies after they were born. And I remember thinking, how is she a congresswoman and she can stand on camera and lie like that? I remember exactly where I was sitting in my house when I saw it. And I thought, fuck her. Her dad was a piece of shit and she's a piece of shit.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And that is just feeding this crazy ass shit to all these crazy Christians. And it makes them more and more and more vile, which bred and incubated Trump. Mm-hmm.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
All right. Well, you know what? Here's the thing, you guys. We just went off on all that. We were supposed to take calls from our callers with this article about the Brits banning American products, which, listen, fiscal conservatives. You were short-sighted. You thought about your income tax return for like a couple of years. You thought about your 401k for like a couple of years.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
The knickknacks and the riffraff and just the pure, unadulterated white trash that the president of the United States is. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable that people look at him and they think, oh, man, he's crushing it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
What he's doing is generational damage to a 250-year brand that was like, we are good at running an economy. And where we... aired and what led us vulnerable to this is we started valuing that economy over the lives of our citizens. Right. And this is a reckoning that our country has to have. Yeah, we like capitalism, but it needs to be regulated. There needs to be safeguards.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
People shouldn't go bankrupt because they get cancer. Right. All right. I want to thank everybody for tuning in today. Next episode, we will get to your calls. This is just a hard time and we all need to lean on each other and it's difficult to process all of this.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It's difficult to be an American and it's just so weird that you can understand intellectually why a country would want to boycott our products because we don't stand for freedom right now. We're standing for some sort of
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
you know dictatorship and it's just gross and disappearing people in a hitlerian type style is just really it's really stressful but subscribe to our channel buy our merch and we will see you all soon Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
For me, it was the gold sneakers because it was intentional to try to be cool to black voters. And they said that. And to like lean into this stereotype about black people that they like shoes and they like gold stuff. And so we're going to sell these Trump sneakers like they're Air Jordan or something. Right. Selling shoes. I mean, seriously, it's so gross.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with when you're asking somebody to do something like, hey, can you meet me for lunch on Friday at noon? And let's say it's Tuesday. And instead of that person just saying yes, no, let me look at my schedule. Those are the three answers that are acceptable. They walk you through their schedule leading up to that date. And this happens a lot.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Oh, okay. That morning I'm going to go to yoga and then I'm going to go meet my coffee group at Starbucks and then I got to run the dog to the vet. And then, okay. So what did you say noon? Okay. Oh my God. And then I have a zoom call and then, and I'm like, I don't need, I don't need to know how busy you are. And actually I want to retract the invitation.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Well, I think we now know that this was a huge operation of CYA. And CYA is cover your ass and come to find out. The ex-husband of the head beaver in charge was playing offense to make sure he wasn't caught doing things so that he wouldn't have to play defense. Right. So these are two different issues.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
If your significant other is dialing you up to tell you how busy they are, one million percent they're fucking around and they're trying to provide an alibi so you can't hunt their ass down.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
The other issue is I'm trying to just ask somebody to go to lunch and then I get a narration of their schedule. In the dates leading up to that and what all they have to do prior to and sometimes they'll even throw in what they have to do after. And I just I don't I don't want to hear your schedule. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to be copied on your calendar. I want no part of any of it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking.yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Remember when I was copying people on my doctor's appointments? Oh, I do, because I got updated to your gynecologist appointment. You were sending that out to everybody that works at I've Had It podcast and sharing. Pumps has a pap smear today.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. The HBIC had Beaver in charge. That's right. Beaver is our mascot, is the animal of Canada. They mate for life. They're fiercely loyal animals. And the mascot that America needs right now. And it's also a way that we can tell our Canadian friends, help us. Help. Send help. Send rescue. Send rescue.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Y'all were so sweet to everybody in the handmade tale. Don't forget that. Be nice to us in real life too. Yeah. Okay. That's the intro. I've had a podcast, America's Top DEI Podcast. Now we will kick it to our producer, Katarina.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
That's so clever. That's so I love that. I love Botox. I love that five star review. It's excellent and clever. All right. Who's next?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots. Book off! Yeah, that's right. I'm getting really good at it. I know. I like it. And I just want to say to all the non-MAGAs of the world, we're the majority. We're the cool kids. This is America's Top DEI Podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with...
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Love. That's a great, that's just a great review. We're 25 years old and we're cool. I mean, I feel like we're kind of younger.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I think we're on the cool track. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
okay guys you know what time it is we're giving away a ton of vibrators from balessa because why because they're amazing if you don't know balessa they're a bi women for everyone company redefining sexual wellness their whole mission empowering you to embrace explore and celebrate your pleasure now the girlies at balessa sent us a ton of new toys including their new game changing silent collection
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
and our minds are blown. Yes, Balessa just launched the first ever silent vibrators. The brains at Balessa created what they call WhisperTech, and somehow, don't ask me how, they made a full power, all the right spots hitting, no noise making lineup of toys. It's actually unreal. The Whisper collection includes WhisperVibe, WhisperRabbit,
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
and whisper bullet so there's a toy for whatever spot you're trying to hit these things are somehow so quiet but so powerful honestly this collection is insane and you have to see it but not hear it to believe it and obviously we have to hook you up so we're doing a giveaway with balessa where literally everyone wins a free vibrator yep you either win a fully free whisper vibe or a free rose toy
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
with any whisper order. Just click the link in the episode description or go to bbvibes.com slash had it. bbvibes.com slash had it. The whisper vibrators stay silent, but the big question is, can you? OK, there's an article I want to share with everybody that I found on. What was this, Kylie? Guardian Independent. The Guardian. The Guardian.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And I read this and I sent it to Kylie to put into a slideshow for our viewer and for the listener. Don't worry, I'll narrate and read. And the article is called This Un-American Life. Can you really divest yourself of everything from the US? And this is by Jeremy Eddinghausen. He says, I know that if I'm going to be serious about de-Americanizing everything, I have to get systematic about it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
There will need to be research and auditing rules and considerations and caveats and above all, self-control, commitment, and discipline. So to keep myself on this righteous path and to help others similarly appalled by America's descent into authoritarian plutocracy cleanse their lives of Yankee fare, I offer the rules of the game.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
and an incomplete review of everything that I will be replacing with an un-American alternative. The rules. Number one, no American product may be bought or American service used. No exceptions. But what about Apple? I hear you say. They have rejected calls to remove DEI policies. What about Patagonia? They're the good guys.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Happy Sunday, everyone, and welcome to IHIP News. The Lord rests on Sunday, but pumps and I do not.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
nuanced answers, and you can inject that shit into my veins all day. I love it. I'm a political junkie. But what's going to motivate these people to protest more is having Democrats like you say something's up with Donald Trump and Putin, and I'm saying it clear, and you have to start speaking in some sound bites. Because we all have ADD, the entire world.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
It's not just an American problem because we're all addicted to these phones. And what's going to fire up your base is using very strong language. And it's not... playing the way they're playing, but it's saying what you're seeing is happening to you. What you're seeing, the dismantling of the United States government, it is happening.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And this is a moment Donald Trump and everybody he is surrounded by seems to be more loyal to Vladimir Putin than they are to the United States and the Constitution. And we've got to get in the streets. We've got to get on social media and we've got to fight. And I think that That's what's missing from the Democratic Party because we all like to speak historically and nuance.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And listen, you speak my love language. I love it. But I think we have to toughen it up, grow some things, and pardon my language here, but I think the Democrats need to take on Fuck you politics and drop the integrity politics. And in saying fuck you, it's fuck you for fucking our country up. That's what we need to hear. We need it from you all.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
That's going to get us out in these cold streets and marching when we see it from Democratic leadership. And we are begging. I mean, begging, Senator.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
So the economy is already starting to completely destabilize. And for a lot of people, we live in a red state, viewer, and a lot of people that I know that were trying to justify their Trump vote, it was inflation. And the economy. And now we see that everything that he's doing is inflationary. And the stock market is going to start correcting very quickly.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
But everybody needs to remember stocks like stability. And when I think of convicted felon Donald Trump, I can think of a lot of things to say. And one of the top would be unstable. Right. Yeah.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I think when you all are speaking to us because we feel very helpless and we feel like everything that you just said assumes that the other side is going to honor the rule of law. And from what I've seen, when you have Pam Bondi's DOJ say, oh, we're just going to drop charges against Eric Adams because it's a quid pro quo. That's unprecedented. So that assumes some things.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
So we need to hear you say these people are criminals. They're actively breaking the law. What you're seeing is happening. That's going to motivate us to all of our followers to get behind you. You know, I feel like everybody's kind of mad that we got this far, but we did get this far and we have to fight like hell to get this man out. In check somehow.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And I don't know that I have a whole lot of faith in the Supreme Court. I don't know that I have faith in the administration to honor any judicial rulings, considering they would send out the federal marshals.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
do that the federal marshals are going to be controlled by pam bondi who bizarrely said the other day she's been issuing executive orders which she can't even do that that's not even legal but i think really blunt um acknowledgements to what we're seeing and that you breed of politics and And I think it is having integrity.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I agree with you in saying, fuck you for coming at our constitutional rights. Fuck you for trying to wreck our country. And all of these layoffs are starting to hit red states. And I'll give you an example. My brother has a guy that works for him part-time because his wife works for the IRS. She had insurance, pension. This is in Oklahoma City. And they're triple Trumpers. meaning all three times.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
These are triple Trumpers. I mean, Tucker Carlson, Freebase, Fox News, the whole nine. She gets laid off. He calls my brother, wants a full-time job back. So it's starting to hit around to where a lot of us don't really want to reach out to them. They're going to be reaching out to us and saying, oh shit, we screwed up.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And so I feel like the only thing that's missing, because we drop two times a day and we're in the comment sections all the time, I mean, and I think you've got it in you, Senator Booker, but it's more direct. What you're seeing is illegal. This guy is clearly compromised by Russia. I mean, hell, Kevin McCarthy is saying it back in 2017 on tape. I mean, come on.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I mean, we all know all of these policies every single day. One person wakes up so happy, and that's a very weakly positioned Vladimir Putin. And because of everything that Trump has done, it has strengthened his position, and he hasn't had to fire one missile over here to the United States. It's all psychological warfare.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
In a few minutes, we're going to be joined by Senator Cory Booker. So everybody join the chat, and if you have any questions for the senator, pop those in there. Let's talk briefly. I read an article this morning that Kash Patel— as we know, is a total nut and is now at the FBI. And he has told everybody in the FBI to ignore
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
what had what got me to be the fourth black person i'm only the fourth black person popularly elected to the united states senate only number four and you know what scares me about this is white people have been so privileged i don't know that as a group of people we have that kind of fight in us I hate to say that.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I hate to say that, but I'm on TikTok and on Instagram and I see these black influencers and I agree with them. They're like, look, we showed up in record numbers. We did our job. We're not joining you guys. He's your problem. And I get their fatigue. I have empathy for their fatigue. And I feel like as a person who grew up in white America, white privileged America, I'm realizing like, wow.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Well, you know, I would think that, but I feel like that should be the top headline everywhere, and it's not.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
We're all sitting around thinking this problem is going to self-correct because nobody's ever really dicked us over like this before. But if you're black, that's in your DNA. You fought that hard your whole entire life. And it is phenomenal. And you had to work so much harder to get to where you are. I worry about the tenacity of white people in this fight. I do.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
He bought, you know, he bought Tucker Carlson and other right-wing podcasters. And it's rumored that he bought Trump many years ago. And Elon Musk and Putin... all have the same ideas, which is to dismantle democracy. Because at the end of the day, these oligarchs are very scared of the public.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I have to I have to say, I think this is an error we make. because we live in a red state, not one county went blue, not one. And assuming that these people voted in earnest for the good of the country or that they feel left behind completely does not acknowledge the fact that they freebase Fox News. And I'm telling you, Senator Booker, they are racist. There are racist default settings.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I've grown up in white America my whole life. And when I'm in white circles, A lot of racist things are said, both covert and overt. Trump gave the permission structures to these people, emboldened then by Fox News, to say, oh, it's about inflation. But really, everybody's been pissed off ever since a black man. Not everybody. I'm talking about the MAGA base, not all MAGA.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
but a big portion of the base. And until we start acknowledging that and saying it more and more, because we all know, I know triple Trumpers, and I'm telling you, they're racist. They're still racist. Now they've moved the goalpost on the price of eggs and inflation. Their votes are bigger than just that they think that's what's best for the country.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
They've fallen prey to all of this massive propaganda. And it feels like sometimes Democratic politicians always provide cover. for their immoral ways. And I don't like that because I've lived around these people in Oklahoma City. I grew up around these people. I had a person at my house after Obama won that called Air Force One Afro One. And it was all white people there.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And this is the kind of shit that goes on every day. And it's a million times worse now that Trump is in office. It's a million times worse. I see it and hear it so much more. And I think this is a moment for white people, especially because we're here, we're out of the beltway.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
We're here in Flyover State, the homeland of America, to inspire other white people about all of the good things that this diversity brings us. Now, they might still freebase Fox News or not, but I cannot get on board because I know too many triple Trumpers that some of them do need to be demonized.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Some of them do think terrible things about black people and about gay people and about trans people. And that's a deal breaker for me. And that should be a deal breaker for all Americans because we believe in equality and fair chance for all. And so I have to push back on that a little bit because I just cannot give a lot of these triple Trumpers that kind of space.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
We threw you right in live. We just threw you right at the wolves, Senator. I am so sorry.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
I'm going to give Pumps the last question because I've kind of bogarted the interview. I know.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Senator Booker, I love our, we ended up being your, your staff said 15 to 20 minutes and you've been so gracious. You've given us 42 minutes. We stole you. I think that these conversations are healthy because we have a big following here and for everybody to get engaged. You're welcome back anytime. We could have Sunday therapy sessions, progress reports.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
We're so excited to have you. And I was joking with somebody on your staff and he wrote, if it's Sunday, it's I've had it. And in Trump's America, I think the title of our podcast has never been more appropriate because this is a shit show of epic proportions. It is Painful to watch, but I want to jump in and I want to talk to you about something I've been thinking about a lot lately.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
It's important, I think, that we stay connected to our leaders. You hear what we're hearing from our followers. We hear about, I mean, honestly, everything that you reminded us of about what we fought for and how important and difficult those battles were was something I needed to hear because this is why you're a politician and I'm not because I get into the burn it all down stage.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Do you remember in 2016, McCarthy and then Speaker of the House Paul Ryan were on a hot tape talking about that they believed that Trump was on Putin's payroll? And then they had to come back out of that and say, oh, no, no, we were joking. We were just joking about that. But clearly they weren't because they said, hey, this stays in here and this is family talk.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Senator Booker, that's so powerful. Our office experienced gun violence. October 12th, I had a young black kid that started working for me when he was 17 years old. And October 12th of 2024, he was shot. He was robbed in a parking lot and he was shot. He'd worked for me for six years, stayed in my home when I traveled, worked at my office with me for 40, 45 hours a week.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
It's still so difficult for me to process because he was such a good person. bright light and I stay connected to his family and his mother. But I realized, you know, I'd always as a white woman, always heard that, you know, this shooting here, this shooting there, this shooting here. And I realized if you live in America long enough, somebody you love is going to get shot.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And I've been thinking a lot as we all have been big, bigger thoughts that we've allowed this kind of lawlessness as a way of kind of slowly starting to appease a little bit to this moment, that we as a nation haven't stopped these injustices quick enough, which led to the biggest injustice we're all seeing right now. When you love somebody and this hobby was his name and he was like a son to me.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And I just, I walk in the studio every day and I see his desk and I go over to his, I can't, I can't replace him. I haven't hired anybody to replace him. I touched the keyboard that his fingers tapped and I touched the little mouse. He took care of this plant and I just, he made my life so much better. I'm a much better person. I'm, I'm the lucky one that this kid got to work for me.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And so I, I, I, I'm so upset that we're at a stage right now where you and I aren't talking about what can we do to solve gun violence because now we have to solve the fascist problem first. But I hope that we all continue because all of these things aren't going anywhere. And as we're speaking here, young kids are getting shot.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And, you know, the saddest thing, the saddest thing that was said to me at Javi's funeral was said, by his aunt. I just said, I can't believe these guns. And she said, well, you know what we all think? And I said, what? She's a black woman. She said, they just put them in our community, so we'll kill each other. And I just...
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
it was just overwhelming and I felt so naive and so white and ridiculous, but that's that reality. And that's a fight that I want to fight. And that's a fight that I want to partner with people to fight. And that's a fight back to one of your earlier points.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
That's going to take all of us lifting each other up and understanding that we are all Americans as, you know, big of a statement as that is, but it's true. And I want to stand with all of the people, members of the Black community because my life is inherently better because of Black culture. and all of the black people in my life, it's a million times better.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And then we had Hillary Clinton in 2016 that was like, he's totally a puppet of Putin. And now we see. this president of the United States do everything to appease Vladimir Putin. And I was wondering for the longest time, why are they after Canada? And it dawned on me that Justin Trudeau said under oath that Vladimir Putin pays Tucker Carlson.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And my life is a million times better. I'm an interior designer when I'm not a podcaster. So you can imagine I work with a lot of gay men. My life is a million times better because of the LGBTQ plus community. If I just lived in a white hetero normative world, snooze city, baby. I mean, that is not anything I wanna be a part of. I love... and embrace the diversity that we have in this country.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
So thank you so much. For sure, I'm no guarding the Senator again. Thank you.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Thank you, Senator Booker. And I would like to apologize to my co-host, Pumps, for bogarting Senator Booker. You don't have a fistfight after this. No, we love working with your staff.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And we want every Democratic senator or any anti-Trump senator to know, as long as you're spitting facts and not propaganda, we're trying to build a community here because it's going to take all of us to get through this. And you're welcome any time. And we plan to come to D.C. soon in April to do some in-person interviews. And you're the top of my list.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And then all of a sudden Trump's in and it's like, ta-da, Canada is going to be our 51st state. And I feel like we're not freaking out enough about this, Senator. And I want your take on this.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
Well, and then some podcasts resurfaced where Kash Patel had been bashing Elon in the past. And so I just think there's going to be a lot of trouble when you have all of these dysfunctional, broken people with unaddressed inner childhood trauma. what I also like to call is the cabinet of dipshits, dangerous dipshits.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
OK, I feel like we're kind of playing two games here. If you and Nancy Pelosi and let's say Chuck Schumer were talking about Barack Obama being on Putin's payroll, they would move at such lightning speed. There would be so many committees. Fox News would hyperventilate. I don't know if this country has enough ERs that could treat the panic attacks that they would have, right?
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
And then we always, as Democrats, we assume the right thing is gonna prevail. And so we assumed with Trump, we assumed, oh, he'll never get reelected again. And all these four years come back and then here he is. And there are all these roads lead to this man being compromised by Russia. And is the Democratic Party prepared to say, we think this MF-er is compromised by Vladimir Putin.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
It is obvious. And you've seen Senator more than I have because you have all these security clearances and all this cool shit with the U.S. government. I'm just piecing it together over here in this blood red Oklahoma City. And I think Putin has him by the balls. It's the only thing that makes sense.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
The personalities, they're not always going to be on the same page at the same time. And you're going to have some people that want to play hero and want to jockey themselves to be the big dick in charge. And so it's going to be interesting to watch over the next, I would say, 60, 90 days as who is the point person. Right now, it seems like Musk is, even over Trump.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
So it's going to be interesting to see how all of the chips fall.
IHIP News
Live with Senator Booker
is getting more people to stop being witnesses to what's going on and becoming activists we don't have to become i want to jump in here really quick please i'm sorry i went on too long senator i can listen to you forever and as you talk about the way activism worked in the past i agree with you but the media landscape has changed and i can sit and listen to a democrat give 10 minute long