Jen and Pumps learn how to properly get freaky in a movie theatre with comedian Roy Wood Jr. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: BetterHelp: Write your story, with Betterhelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/HADIT to get 10% off your first month. RoBody: Go to https://ro.co/hadit to see if you qualify. Tushy: Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code Hadit at https://hellotushy.comHadit Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code Hadit at Lumepodcast.com/Hadit! #lumepod Homes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work. eharmony: Get started with their compatibility quiz, so you can find someone you can be yourself with. Download the app and get who gets you on eharmony. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Roy Wood Jr. @RoyWoodJrSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What are the common phrases that annoy people?
It is. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. In the spirit of our new year, I have had it with people piling on the same saying. So about six months ago, I heard around the time of the Olympics, give her her flowers. Give him his flowers, meaning they should get credit. Their performance deserves praise.
I hear give him or her the flowers three or four times a day on different clips, social media. I've had it. Why do we all have to say the same thing? There's no originality in sayings. Everybody has to say the same thing. I'm not against people praising. performance, or any other thing, form of success.
You can say I'm a bitter old hag and that's true, but I do cheer for other people to have good things, but I fucking had it with the jumping on and repeated use of the phrase. Give him or her the flowers.
Let me ask you this. We get a lot of piling on in critiques of us. Right. Particularly the bitter old hag. And do you apply that same anger and grievance towards the piling on in the comment section of them calling us bitter old hags? Because it's unoriginal and overused. Yeah. I would, but there's a little bit of truth to it. There is.
And I think that we are so desperate that any sort of attention we greet with a smile.
Positive or negative.
Hey, they took the time out of their day. to comment on how bitter and how haggish we are. And so, I mean, kudos to them. It could be love. It's passion. It is. It's something. It is something. Yes, because I certainly don't spend my spare time commenting on podcasters' social media accounts that I don't like. Right. What I do when I don't like somebody is I have nothing to do with any of it.
There's zero energy.
Well, you know what they say. The opposite of love is not hate. Right. It's ambivalence. I think that's apathy. It's always been ambivalence when it comes to divorce.
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Chapter 2: What are the unique experiences of road rage?
Nothing. He is acting like I'm not even there. And I'm like, oh, so now I'm really starting to feel emboldened. So I'm like, oh, so now you don't have flip me off with your own finger. Can you flip me off with your own finger? Can you not do that? And he's just like, you know, grasping the steering wheel for dear life. So here's what I think this guy does.
I think he saw this little sign that you could buy to put on the back of your car to flip people off with a little digital remote control. And he thought, oh, this is fantastic. And he gets up in the morning and he creates instances where he had the red light.
I clearly had the right of way where he knew he was going to create some form of me being pissed at him for him protruding into the intersection. And then he tries to create this whole thing so that he can use a sign. And then I get right next to him and this guy doesn't have the balls to flip me off with his own finger.
Because if he wanted to flip me off with his own finger as soon as we got next to each other, if he doubled down, I'd still think he was a nut, but I would respect it. But the fact that he had to hide behind his little sign and then death grip his steering wheel, I just thought, you know, this is the perfect example of a quote unquote alpha male.
All bark, no bite. Well, it's also the perfect example of a small wiener. I mean, that just jumps off the page to me. It's been a while since you started talking about penis size. 2025, yeah. 2025, we're going to start talking about small penises. That is little dick syndrome, little dick energy like I've never seen it. Comes around.
I mean, he's obviously not going the direction you are, but he flips it around so he can give you his neon light finger and then won't look at you. That is a pussy.
Will not... When we got to... After he flipped me off four or five times, I thought, oh, he's so proud of his new sign. Right. I wasn't even that worked up. But I thought, I'm going to pull up next time. So I rolled down my window. I was like, do you feel better now? Like, you know, 640 in the morning on a Tuesday. Do you feel good about yourself now? Can we all go on with our day?
Will not look at me. And I'm like... come on come on at least put your finger out flip me off with your own hand won't do it what a i mean just a titty baby deluxe welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie all right i have some news stories i would like to share um this i believe this this is a study that says people who walk fast tend to be less happy in life
And I have to say, I am a very fast walker. You are a very fast walker. Those are facts. We have a podcast called I've Had It that has a negative, unhappy premise to it. So I would say kudos to you, scientists.
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Chapter 3: How do fast walkers relate to happiness?
You know, before you said globally, I was going to assume that the sperm count in the United States was down because in Trump's America, beta males thrive and we sit on our computers and we are hateful and misogynistic and racist. But the fact that it's global, I can't blame that on Trump. I'd like to. I'd like to find a reason to blame it on him. But, you know, that doesn't surprise me.
Sedentary. We're on our computers more as a society. You know, the hunting gathering days are more like on an app on your phone ordering stuff. So that's not necessarily a surprise to me.
Yeah, it's it doesn't surprise me one bit. And I think a lot of the reason that people are so much less happy and like happiness factors are decreasing is because we're not moving. Like it is just this total sedentary lifestyle. And when I sit around too much, I am not happy. I do not feel good. We're the opposite that way. Like the more you lounge, the more your happier factor goes up.
If I lounge too much, I start to feel this depressive like state or I feel some form of anxiety. But, you know, it's going to be interesting to see like all the GLP-1s, Ozempic, WeGoVee. Josh and I were out recently. And we were at a basketball game.
And he was like, let's look in the audience and see if we can like spot the people that are on Ozempic or WeGoBeat because of the hollowed out cheeks. Right. And so it's going to be interesting like how all of this plays down. Everything is a quick fix. Right. Nobody ever has to do the work for anything anymore. Like you want something delivered to your house, click it on your phone.
It's there in 10 minutes. You want to lose weight, you get a shot. You want, you know, to date somebody, you get on your app. And so I wonder what the long term, I don't think we'll live long enough to see like this, all of the skirting the system, what the impact is going to be on our species. Right.
In 20 years. Skirting. We've been anti-skirting. For a long time. The whole world is set up now to skirt the system. Right. How can you do less to get more? Absolutely right. I mean, I was just thinking when you were saying that, like I grocery shop when I get up first thing in the morning and it's at my house when I get home from work. You know, I don't have to go to the grocery store anymore.
Right. Of course, I will never give up my GLP-1. That's my favorite thing on planet Earth. So, you know, I'm a skirter. Yeah, I am too. I'm a total skirter. I get it. But I do not think you can underestimate how the skirting is going to affect long term.
Right. It's got to. Particularly Americans, there is a pill for everything because we have fallen prey so much to big pharma. And the amount of pills that Americans take compared to other countries is staggering. It is staggering. And it's because of all the capitalism in the country.
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Chapter 4: What changes are millennial dads making in parenting?
Yeah. Okay. I have a question on that. It just reminded me. If Americans are taking more pills, I can believe that. Do you think with all the ads for all the erectile dysfunction shit that we have, you know, we've got wipes, we've got pills, we've got cream. I see it all the time on ads.
Do you think American men are taking more erectile dysfunction, some type of medication, supplement, whatever, than European and other countries?
No.
You don't? You think it's universal?
I think the penis is the penis and the sex drive is the sex drive. I would love to, you know, I would love for there to be a study that came out that said that MAGA men took more erectile dysfunction than other men. And I welcome... the scientists to do that study. But my gut tells me that sex drive is a universal genetically encoded type thing.
And that the skirting of trying to get a more fantastic erection would be universal. All right, Kylie, what's going on on the internet? I've got a couple reviews for you.
Okay. This one is titled Eagle Noises, five stars. And she writes, as a Hispanic woman, I so appreciate the honesty and unity y'all bring after nonstop yapping of I've had it's. May Jennifer always have her sass and may Meemaw always have her curtains. Okay.
Yeah. And fortunately, I think I'm stuck with the curtains. You could go. There's a plastic surgery for that. I know. I've told that story on the air before. Okay.
Okay, this one is five stars from Jay, titled Brow Beating Works. Okay, Jen, fine. Here I am. These white women with southern accents have my heart. I make it a point to have women's voices emanating from my phone as often as possible. It delights me when I hear my husband laugh at them from the other room. If you think you don't have anything in common with them, you're wrong.
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Chapter 5: What are the concerns about declining sperm counts?
I think that's all we have for our intro today, listener. We do have a guest today. And our guest is comedian and actor. His name is Roy Wood Jr. And he has a special called Lonely Flowers that is going to drop on Hulu on January 17th. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.
In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. As promised, we're back with our guest, comedian and actor Roy Wood Jr. Roy, how are you today?
I am well. I'm very well. This is my voice for you all because this podcast has reverence. It is very focused anger, I think is the proper way to put it. It's not belligerent, yelling, ESPN, bait, anger. It's very exacto knife. I'm tired of ugly people kissing each other.
That's right.
And there's a passion to it. I've done some research.
Yes. You know, the thing about ugly people kissing each other, of course we want ugly people to kiss each other. Of course they should do that. I just don't want to see it. I think when it comes to PDA, you know, we need to have some sort of... Like a minimum threshold. A minimum threshold of attractiveness.
Is it fair to ugly people, as we've already deduced scientifically, two ugly people make a pretty person. So what you're witnessing is the creation of someone amazing. Yes. And I think we're just so disconnected and angry as a society. I legitimately like it when I see two people making out in public. I know it can be a bit extreme, but I watch. And I don't know if that's creepy, but...
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Chapter 6: How do we define acceptable public displays of affection?
Why are we praising these animals who couldn't figure out how to stay alive?
It's kind of a point. It's a pretty good point.
It's, it's, you go into these exhibits and they go, here's the woolly mammoth. And the woolly mammoth was one of the most dangerous and most, yeah, then it got cold and he froze like a bitch. And he had wool. What about the T-Rex? Had wool. Same game. Same game.
Let me ask you this. Have you seen the Jurassic Park movie?
Yeah, yeah. I've seen them all. I've seen Chris Pratt's and the Goldberg's.
Okay. If, let's say, the crazy billionaires, if they opened up a Jurassic Park, would you go there?
No, you know, that's coming, right? You know, that's coming. They're digging up the bones. They're splicing the genes. They're going to give it some AI. And then we're going to have super creature, super smart creature chip controlled. We're going to reintroduce the velociraptor to the ecosystem. Morons. I, I just, I love the history of the earth and I love exploring that.
But whenever we talk about dead animals, whenever we talk about extinct animals, it's just, oh, they were great, and then they died. And we're not talking about animals that, like, died because of human pollution and us changing up the ecosystem. The duck-billed platypus checked out a long time before many times. It's bitch ass. Bitch ass. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay to say that some of these animals was bitch made and they just couldn't, they couldn't cut it.
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Chapter 7: What are the complexities of workplace romances?
Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it. Herschel Walker.
Too many people hit Herschel Walker. Heard that brother talk. That is first of all, let me make sure I get this right. You're saying the word Herschel Walker, but he is United States ambassador to the Bahamas. Correct. Herschel Walker. Now, the second question is to get Herschel Walker to find the Bahamas on a map. Like this map that's behind me.
For the people who are just listening, there's a map behind me. You should put Herschel Walker in front of this map of the world and then just go point to the Bahamas and you can have the job. And I guarantee you Herschel Walker would point to the Philippines.
Oh, no question. No question. If he didn't point to Africa, like a continent, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah, it's a very interesting administration, and I will say that I'm nervously anxious to see how it all unfolds.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think we all are. I mean, you know, it's one of these things, like, where it's terrifying, but also, like— something delicious about watching the train wreck. And that's, I think indicative of how screwed up we've all become the last nine years, you know, that it's, that we all haven't just, you know, retreated into nihilism. So I don't know.
Yeah. It'll be interesting to see, you know, and I think that's part of why I wanted to make sure that my comedy special came out before the inauguration, because I didn't know what the hell was going to happen. I don't know. I don't know. I'm very scared.
So let's talk about your comedy special. It's dropping on January 17th, three days before Trump's America begins on Hulu. And it's called Lonely Flowers.
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