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Chapter 1: What grievances do they have with Christmas music?
I'm going to be the asshole, but I've already had it with all the Christmas music everywhere I go all the time. It's relentless. It's the same songs on every channel. I've heard them a million times. The only Christmas songs I want to hear on repeat are the Mariah Carey one, All I Want for Christmas is You, and the George Michael, the Wham one, Last Christmas. That's it. It's the...
It's a barrage. You can't go to the grocery store. You can't go to a furniture store. You can't walk in any place of business that is not playing nonstop Christmas music.
I was at the dentist yesterday and it was Christmas music the entire time.
Oh, I think I might go crazy. So you're laying there captive for 45 minutes or whatever. See, I just enough. Yeah. I like it in doses. I agree. I completely agree with you.
Yeah.
A little bit goes a long, long way. I just don't think every business has to play it all the time.
Yeah. It's, you know, the war on Christmas was decided a long time ago. A long time ago. And I mean, Christmas won. 100%, like going away one. It wasn't even close. It was never even close. One could argue it was a fictitious made up war by the right. No. I can't believe they would make something up. I know. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
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Chapter 2: Why do they dislike small talk about the weather?
I've had it with people that say, I think we're getting some weather later this week. Just stop, okay? Why are we not using descriptive adjectives any longer? Why are we just saying, yeah, it looks like we're going to get some weather? You have weather every day.
Every single day.
Every single day, there is weather. It's either good weather, bad weather, windy weather, tornadic weather, all sorts, icy weather. At the dentist, I was there, and this man walks in. And the receptionist was like, do you have a good weekend? He goes, yeah. She said, did you get some weather where you went? What? Why are we just saying weather?
When somebody says this to me again, I'm going to say, what kind of weather? To what are you specifically referring? And don't you notice, like, when people age, the weather becomes this all-consuming thing.
Yes, I absolutely have noticed that. And I have noticed it in myself more than I've noticed like earlier in my life. Like I will look to see what the weather is going to be like two days from now, which why do I give a shit? What am I going to do about it?
See, I never look ever right as I'm walking out the door. I'm like, oh, I should probably check the weather now. I have just noticed with older people, it is this all consuming nonstop barrage of talk about the weather. It's nonstop. Everybody's talking about the weather. It's like there's nothing you can do about it. And it reminds me very much of this obsession with being thirsty.
It's just this consuming nonstop. And now we're just leaving out descriptive adjectives. Boy, sure does look like we're in for some weather.
Some weather. That doesn't tell me what we're in for. I will say this. Sometimes in a pinch, when you're in an awkward situation, like conversation or with somebody you don't really know, but like maybe you're trapped with them at a table, like you're sitting there and you can't, I have been known to pull out, boy, it's gotten so cold. Can you believe it?
Just because it's a universal something to make conversation with. I don't like to do it. I hate it when I have to do it, but there are some times I feel like There's just nothing else to talk about. I'm going to be the resistance.
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Chapter 3: How do they feel about forced conversations in public?
I was just about to offer effusive praise to the listener for getting us to 12,000. And then you... Realize you misspoke and we're 200 shy of that. And I just don't know, especially if we're sitting here talking about the weather, how on earth we're going to get 200 additional reviews. I don't know that this is possible. Probably people are going to start taking their reviews back.
Especially in Trump's America.
I do want to give a good example really quick. Jackie left a five-star review and said, came over here just to leave this review to help you get to 12K. So everyone follow suit with Jackie.
Jackie, thank you very much. She's a leader. We love you, Jackie. That's the kind of leadership this country needs.
Yep.
I like it.
I've got a five-star review from Walt's wife titled, Glad I Found You. And she writes, as a 40-something black female from Tennessee... I'm a little wary of white women, but you guys keep me laughing. I walk around all day making a list of things I've had it with. Example, I've had it with people trying to talk to me at the nail salon.
I don't want to know what color you're getting your nails or where you're going on Thanksgiving break. I have earbuds in. Shut the fuck up.
I cannot agree any more with that, Walt's wife. There's nothing more maddening than when you go to have an hour of me time at the nail salon and then somebody wants to chat with you about the weather. that's coming in. Looks like we're getting some weather. And I want to be like, looks like you're getting a case if you need to shut the fuck up. I mean, it's just, I could not agree more.
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Chapter 4: What are their thoughts on social interactions at the nail salon?
Not leaving open ended statements out there. The other day we were at a Mexican restaurant and a guy came over and said, hey, I know Josh. Listener, as you know, Josh is my husband. I was like, oh, yeah, it's great to see you. Meaning I wanted it to end. friend I was with started talking about all sorts of things that just kept it open ended.
And that's when I just thought I have to get up and go to the bathroom. I can't. I've gotten so it's difficult for me to feign interest in things I'm not interested in in Trump's America. I don't have any of that in me. I'm unable to feign it. And I blame Trump for this. I was going to say, I think you were headed that way long before.
I blame this on Trump because I am incapable of feigning interest whatsoever. I don't care what your kid did. I don't care what your kid's doing. I don't even care to say, oh, my God, tell him I said hi. Because what difference does that make? I haven't seen this person in 10 years or maybe I vaguely know them. I just I'm incapable of feigning. I'm craving just authenticity.
I wish that somebody would I wish what my goal for this next calendar year. OK, here it is. When they say, how have you been? I just want to look at him and go, you know, all right. This Trump victory is just really kind of got me not feeling great about myself or around other people. Did you vote for him? And they say, yeah. I say, you know what? Let's just go in this conversation now.
No bad blood, but let's just end it. Let's just be dead. Let's end it and let's not fake and pretend like we care what each other's family members are doing because I know I don't give a shit. what yours are doing. And I know you don't give a shit what mine are doing. So why are we faking this?
What about if you said, when somebody said, how are you, why do you care? We haven't seen each other in 10 years. Why does it matter? See, I like that. I mean, that's just, you don't even have to go into anything. How are you, why do you care? Why do you care? Do you think that's a personal question? Don't you think that's a little invasive? Okay, this reminded me, this comment.
Remember the last couple times, I can't remember when it was, but we got our nails done. And there was a woman, you and I were on one side of the salon. There was a woman on the other side of the salon. I had my earbuds in. I watched an entire thing on my phone. And that woman yacked you up the entire time.
time and we've never talked about it oh screaming across screaming all the things you hate in life idle chit chat screaming across the room loud talking and i have to say it was such a did you enjoy that i got so much gratification out of it i loved true friendship i would giggle every few minutes like because i could tell you were trying to end it yeah and it wouldn't i was using closing you were using
Closing language, closing terms, body language, everything. And she would have none of it. No picking it up. And I mean, I would get so tickled. And listener, this is something that I want you to know is true friendship. Her enjoying my suffering. And I'm glad that she got that. That's true friendship when you can nudge at each other.
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Chapter 5: What is the story about the inmates and the miracle baby?
Zero. Zero oversight. You don't know if this person's a serial killer putting arsenic in it. You have no idea. It's the wild, wild west out there on Facebook marketplace. And another thing, Facebook is just unbelievable. The other day I had to get on there. Somebody was like, do you remember such and such that we went to high school with?
And I was like, let me see if I can remember what they look like. That's why I have Facebook. So I enter their name. I'm like, oh, yeah. So then I was like, I wonder what the hell's going on here. So I go to the feed. It's so breathtakingly stupid. All you have to do is spend a total of 15 seconds on the Facebook feed and you immediately go crazy. Oh, this is why Trump won.
Oh, now I know.
I get it. Because I'm so far outside of that whole conspiracy cult, crazy QAnon shit. It is the reality that all of these people live in on Facebook when they sell all this shit and don't clean their kitchens. Yeah.
It's just go hand in hand. Yep. Yeah. I mean, the conspiracies and all that on Facebook. Yeah. I'm not on Facebook for that very reason, but I do agree. Facebook marketplace fucking sucks.
Okay, up next, we've got someone coming for you, Pumps. Oh, good. And this is Matt D.
Hi, Blessica. Hi, Pumps. I have had it with Pumps saying, explaining something and then saying, but that's here nor there. It's neither here nor there. You're saying it's here, which makes nor there not make sense. Just a little grammatical fix. My grandparents instilled grammar and spelling in me, so it drives me nuts every time. But I always agree and love everything you're talking about.
But that's here nor there.
That's a great tip. That's a great tip. I will take that correction. Neither here nor there. It's neither here nor there. Neither here nor there. Okay.
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Chapter 6: How do they approach uncomfortable social situations?
Like, lady, go do that at home. Yeah. You are nasty.
I have to say that's a very good little punch list of things that society can work on to improve. I appreciate the specificity in each and every grievance and the care that he took to articulate these massive social violations, starting with that preacher. I'm so tired. I mean, sick to death. People feeling like that talk about religion all the time. It drives me fucking bananas.
And as somebody from the Bible Belt, when I finally get the fuck out of here and go to a big city, if I was on the subway and somebody started Bible thumping, I just think I would be like, shut the For fuck's sake. Everybody knows that the book exists. We know what the consequences are. It's a foregone conclusion at this point in everybody's life. Either you're for it or you're against it.
Move on down the road. Shut the fuck up. Quit talking about it. I've had it.
I completely agree. I just hate it. Any kind of captive audience where you're captured on a plane, in a subway, in a car with somebody, but that you have more control over. And you're sitting there and somebody, you can't get away. That's the grand standard. You cannot get away. You're trapped and you have to listen to this.
You think that toenail clipper is attention seeking?
Fuck yes. I do too. I don't think anybody thinks that's a good idea. I don't think she was trying to be efficient. No.
I don't think she said, I'm running late, so I'll clip my toenails on the subway. I think that's an attention seeker.
I think all three of those examples are attention seeking. Kylie, do we have a last one? We do. We're going to end it with friend of the pod, Robbie, Ken, James.
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