The *only* teenie weenie Pumps has ever craved and she can't have it... Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: Masterclass: MasterClass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to https://MASTERCLASS.com/HADIT for the current offer. Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://SHOPIFY.com/hadit. RoBody: Go to https://ro.co/hadit to find out if you’re covered for free. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What has Pumps had it with regarding cash-only places?
Okay, what I've had it with is places that only take cash. At the end of 2020-24, are you fucking kidding me? I never have cash. So I go in this restaurant downtown. I mean, it's a dump, okay? It's a dump truck. I fucking love it. It's heart attack on a plate food. Hadn't had it in years. And I thought, I'm just going to bounce in there and get me a hot dog.
So I go in, I am like so fired up about it. You going to get a hot dog? Going to get a hot dog. It's this little tiny wiener. I mean, it's boiling in water. They pull it out. I'm super excited about it. I get up there and she's like, I mean, I think it was like $3. I didn't have $3. I have no cash. I didn't get my hot dog. So I'm like, everybody needs to be completely 100%.
You take both or you take card for sure. It just feels like antiquated. And this place, to be fair, is antiquated. No teeny weeny for pumps. I did not get the only teeny weeny that I enjoy. I had to leave. She was like, well, there's an ATM around the corner. And by then I'm just fucking furious. I'm just like, this is a prick tease. I'm mad. I'm not coming back. Will you ever go back?
Well, of course I will because I love these hot dogs. But I will make sure I go to the ATM first. I just was like, that is criminal to have a cash-only place these days.
It's frustrating. It is. It's so frustrating. I got frustrated the other day that somebody didn't take Apple Pay because I had my purse in the car, locked everything in there, and I just wanted to run in, and I just brought my phone only. They don't take Apple Pay. So the cash thing is just so – beyond comprehension nonetheless. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with.
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Chapter 2: Why do people invalidate personal grievances?
I've had it with the notion that a lot of people have that if we speak about something to our lives that is petty, frivolous, first world, that the response can always be you ladies need to go live in a third world country to get some perspective.
Or there are people starving in Africa that you're not allowed to have any suffering that is personal to your life because there is greater suffering out in the world. It drives me insane. And we don't talk about this a lot, We have a book coming out where we tell it. We have suffered. We've been broke. We've been through all of that shit. We're not in that era anymore.
We're in the petty grievance era. And maybe not all of our grievances are entirely relatable. But here's the thing, this is not a serious podcast. This is for fun. And I just can't take that there are people out there that monitor, like they're just like the hall monitors of the internet.
And they monitor everybody's like if you're not liberal enough or you're too center and there's just all this hyper correcting. You two need to go live in a third world country. It's like, you know what? Fuck off. We don't live in a third world country and we get pissed about stupid shit and we still try to fight the good fight at the same time. And I've just completely had it with that.
Yeah. Yeah, and talk about antiquated. I remember people said that when I was, like, there are children starving in Africa that don't, you know, they don't have to worry about X, Y, Z, blah, blah, blah. Okay, that's true, but that's not what we're talking about right now.
I mean, and it's also such a Debbie Downer. You know, like, whatever, if anybody says some complaint that they have, that we always have to say, well... in Africa or in Southeast Asia or in India, these horrible human rights violations are occurring. Therefore, every grievance that you have is completely invalidated.
Now, in saying this, are there people that are so breathtakingly out of touch that it's annoying? Yes. Yes. Could Pumps and I at times be those people Yes. 100%, yes. But I just, I feel like there is this micromanaging that is going on the World Wide Web about like all of the people, particularly on the left, tend to try to out liberal each other, correct each other all the time.
And you go over to the right and it's Fleabag, Roche Motel, Parasite City. There are not enough insecticides that could diffuse that situation. And it's they just pile on top of each other's crazy. Can we have some camaraderie if we agree 70% of the time? Can we just not have to hyper-correct each other all the time, nonstop? It drives me crazy.
I think that's a great point. People, I mean, for me, a lot of it goes back to, like, if you have enough time to correct us on this, why aren't you doing something better than listening to us? Like, why aren't you solving world hunger?
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Chapter 3: What are the effects of social media on weddings and parties?
bridesmaid and the third flower girl, and then the dogs start trotting down the aisle, we start going, shame, shame, shame.
Or, you know, we could also do a poster. We like, you know, like an auctioneer poster, just stand at the back or sit at the back and just like, hold it up till somebody noticed, be on the video. Yeah, there's a lot of
really, really particularly egregious behavior. What is your stance now? When Emily was three or four, I remember it struck me at the time. That's weird. Wow. Like the last thing I'm thinking about is... my children getting married. Like I wasn't even thinking that far. And so what is your position on it now?
If Emily were to get engaged and married, what advice would the more enlightened, more cynical, more fuck you pumps have for her daughter? Okay, so here's the thing. I've kind of thought about that.
And it's just going to be really hard for me to even like, Act like I think it's a good idea to have a big wedding. I'm like, go to the courthouse, get married, call it a day.
Here's the thing. I know you well. I know you well. I think you will get sucked. You think I do? You will get sucked right into it. You think I'll fall back into those traps? Yes. I think old habits die hard. And I think this, you had a, this brings me to my next news story. Hold on.
20.
Why? 2-0. Why? I don't know.
That's just abuse. It's guest abuse.
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Chapter 4: What are the absurdities of extravagant toddler birthday parties?
That's guest abuse.
That is guest abuse. And it's so over the top performative to say that you have 20 people with whom you were that close. It's just lying. It's an insult to the guest's intelligence, emotional intelligence. Because for me, if somebody says they have 20, 2-0, very close friends... Very, very, very close friends. I think that's kind of a red flag. I don't think that's possible.
Yeah, I just, I mean, I about fell out of my chair when I heard 20.
20 friends, yes. 20 friends, yes. But close bridesmaid friends, no, I'm not buying that.
I think then I was told by somebody else that that's kind of the new trend is like 2018, something like that, bridesmaids. And I'm just saying as a public service announcement, in my experience- If you have that much emphasis on the bridesmaids, the flowers, all that shit, you're probably not thinking about the marriage. And that is a deep, dark hole of despair that I fell down.
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay, the next story is, welcome to the golden age of six-figure birthday parties for toddlers.
A recent piece in the New York Times reported on this phenomenon zooming in where rich moms routinely spend six or seven figures on fancy parties for their toddlers to ensure their one-year-old has a birthday she'll never forget. Which, of course, nobody remembers being one. Right.
If Instagram had already been turning all of this into a competition the past few years, then the pandemic had basically turned it into a blood sport. Stunning tablescapes to rival those of a wedding with a flower budget to match, massive balloon installations, personalized swag, four-tier cakes.
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Chapter 5: What is inappropriate eye contact and why is it annoying?
Chapter 6: How do societal expectations influence wedding planning?
But in this instance... This is, I think, produced. These six-figure parties are produced for social media.
Chapter 7: What lessons have Jennifer and Pumps learned from their past weddings?
There's no question. And I have to go back to, if that's where your time and energy is going, these people that browbeat us about all the shit, why aren't they browbeating them? Take all that free time on your hands. Oh, I'm sure they get it.
Oh, that you do. Oh, there's no question. Nobody is safe on the World Wide Web. Right. I mean, they are one million percent getting it. I think they're probably getting it so bad it makes whatever we get look like child's play. Okay. And deservingly so. All right.
I believe today we have some voice memos we would like to hear from our listeners because we love and cherish our relationship with you. Okay. At first, we've got Sage.
Sage.
Hello, Gin Pumps, Kylie. Y'all, I've really had it with people making eye contact with me in the security line at the airport. Like, don't fucking look at me, dude. Look at your phone. Look at the floor. Close your eyes if you have to. Stop looking at my face. Stop making eye contact with me. Like, it's fucking annoying. Every 10 steps, we're going to be face to face.
Don't make this harder than it needs to be. And maybe just like a general, I've had it. Man, quit looking at me in general. Like we're not about to have a meet cute. You're not going to be staring at me like I'm a piece of meat. And then I'm going to be like, oh, let's fall in love. Oh, we fell in love at the airport. He just wouldn't stop staring at me. You know, we're married.
It's never going to happen. Stop looking at people. Close your eyes. I've had it. Thank you.
I completely agree with this. I believe there are these awkward interactions where you catch people. The people that make this type of contact, which I'm going to go ahead and call inappropriate eye contact.
You're going to go that far.
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