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Chapter 1: What are the issues with line hoggers at the gym?
Okay, what I've had it with is line hoggers. So I'm at the gym the other day. There's three of us that all walk to the water machine at the same time. This other gal and I grab the little cups they provide. This guy pulls out of nowhere, like a one liter container. And while we stand there... He fills his entire thing up. And I felt like the appropriate thing to do would be to say, go ahead.
This is going to take a while. But no, he sat there and we were both rolling. I mean, who does that? Lack of self-awareness, just hogging everything. I think you have to have more self-awareness in line.
I mean, you bury the lead here. I identified ages ago on this podcast, America's DEI Top Podcast, that a lot of problems in America right now stem around performative hydration.
Chapter 2: Why is performative hydration a problem?
And you know what? You're exactly right because it was performative because I watched that motherfucker the whole rest of the time I was at the gym. He never took one sip out of that water bottle.
This is just another piece of evidence. To my long held theory that all of this, the Stanley cups, oversized water bottles, it's all bullshit. It's all performative. It's all new. It's a capitalist fetish thing where people are fetishist. How big can my water bottle be that I carry around when everything else we're trying to make small, but that people want it to be gigantic.
I mean, I just, that kind of crap drives me insane.
insane the grandstanding and performing about drinking water like it's new or novel and then the people who talk about hydration and being hydrated like it's a new thing and it's like it's not new it's just that we've all been drinking all these sugary drinks and now we have this huge obesity problem and then people are like oh maybe we should drink what our bodies are made of
We should drink more water. That's a great idea.
It's not new. It's not a new thing. What's new is all of the people that have a fetish about it. And they're fetishists. And I guarantee you the guy was MAGA. I guarantee it. Oh, a hundred percent. I could tell by looking. Okay. I'm going to tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
I've had it with, obviously it goes back to airports and air travel, but I've been traveling a lot lately and I'm at the airport and you're like in your boarding group and
and you're kind of like parallel with somebody we're not in a row you're kind of parallel waiting for them to call your group so they call your group and you got some man typically middle-aged white dude and i start to take a step and he takes a step and we're still parallel and somebody's gonna have to give the last probably six flights i've been on by myself
I give because I'm like, we're all going to get on the plane at the same time. It's going to land at the same time. We're all going to get off. And I know that my resting heart rate is a lot lower than yours. And we get off the plane. I can, I could lap you in the airport on the way to baggage claim.
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Chapter 3: What frustrations arise during air travel?
And I know that's weird, but I read this article years ago in People Magazine about some woman who was flying to Cancun or something or another, and she got a blood clot in her leg.
I've read those.
And like it's set there. And I know I accused Josh of being a hypochondriac. And I totally admit that I'm being a hypocrite right now. But I do have a blood clot prevention plan wherein I like to stand up immediately, kind of rotate my ankles, shake my legs off a little bit to prevent said blood clots that I read about in the great medical journal People Magazine. Well, absolutely. And so...
Yeah. So I always just want to blaze past it. But now my new thing is just let them all go first. Let them all go first because it's game on in the jet bridge. It's fucking game on.
Chapter 4: How do gender dynamics play out in airport boarding?
I love it so much that you take it over in the jet bridge. They're going down in the jet bridge. I probably would have assumed it went into the airport, but you're just like, we're not even fucking around.
Because here's the thing. If you're going to be a dick... And you're going to have to needle in to the line to board early. And then you're going to have to needle in to get off early. You better be in. You must be in a huge hurry. You must be.
No, in the jet bridge, it is lollygag on the phone, texting this person that was in a huge hurry to board, huge hurry to get off the plane, doesn't even have the decency to take it over the finish line and walk quickly and briskly off the jet bridge. So my intention is to humiliate immediately in the jet bridge. Do you feel really like, ha ha, motherfucker, when you pass them?
I just feel like, I mean, I just feel like, you know, I'm just riding with the wind, you know, just like eat my dust, MF-er. Sadly, he probably doesn't even know what's going on. So listener, I've had it with that. But, you know, it's conflict resolution, conflict resolution.
My conflict is with these, you know, just assholes in the airport that can't be gracious because they're in such a goddamn hurry. And then they get off and they lollygag. So then I'm going to say eat my dust, MFers.
I like it. You know, it is always striking to me how everybody is like when they say, OK, we're getting ready to board the next plane. People like run up like the plane's going to leave without him. Like it's fine. Like everybody's going to get on and people just cram immediately. All right.
So anyway, that's just how that's how I've handled that. And it makes me feel better. And it makes me cope with traveling with the general public a little better, like an internal competition that I created. Well, and it also goes to your athletic prowess. Thank you for pointing that out.
Yes. I mean, absolutely.
Thank you for reminding the listener.
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Chapter 5: What can we do to combat racism in our communities?
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Chapter 6: Why is there an uptick in misogyny since Trump took office?
Chapter 7: What are the consequences of silence in the face of racism?
People are so dumb. They're so dumb. Yeah. I mean, it just, that... I mean, it's flat. When you pull into a Zoom, am I right? When you pull into a Zoom, it has your name on it. I mean, you can see it.
Well, I don't know if he saw his or not, whether it's Zoom or maybe it's some court system internal thing. Right, but why would that ever be on there? Whatever it was, he had made his username as ButtFucker3000, inadvertently logged back into that same thing, and the judge is seeing him as ButtFucker3000. Right.
I really like about that is that the judge is like, you're going to go sit at the back of the line because the lines in court like that are hours and hours and he has to sit there and figure it out. This whole thing, I mean, it reminds me of like when everybody was during COVID, like people caught at work masturbating on their... Oh, yeah. And I'm just like... You can't wait till the Zoom's over.
There was a CNN. I forget. He was a CNN legal expert. Jeffrey Toobin. Yes. And he's just on some Zoom and just, you know.
Beating the meat. On Zoom. I mean, I get it. Like if your kid or your wife walks by in the back or something like that. But to sit there and masturbate when you're on a Zoom with other people and you know it seems to me to be incredibly risky. Right. Well, I don't think there's any question about it.
And that you couldn't wait till the Zoom was over. That's what I'm saying.
Like, it's just, it's so stupid. You could have waited 15 minutes, Zoom's over.
I mean, during- Jack off to high heaven. During COVID, my kids have since revealed to me. So when the schools were shut down, they had to log in and do digital school all the time. They each made a loop of themselves, looking at the camera, looking down, typing, making a note. And it was about a three minute long loop. And then they ran it on repeat.
And so they logged into class and then put this video of themselves up, looking like they were engaging in everything. Meanwhile, everybody in the class had done the same. They're all over playing video games.
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Chapter 8: What humorous incident occurred during a Zoom court hearing?
Please send me the next time you get that.
Next time you come across one of those. I will. Kylie, I need to see this. Of course, I'll. Of course, I read it twice. I'll see if I can go back and find it. It was hilarious. This body. This body. And then, of course, the people, their enablers are like, oh, my God, you look amazing, which is what she wanted. Right.
Maybe the thing is she should have post herself in a bikini and say, I'm feeling insecure today. I'm 48. Please tell me how hot I am below. Yeah.
Here's the deal. I would have said you look so hot. I would have been like, okay.
100%.
Or just write happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. With a photo of yourself. Yeah. But the reach arounds and trying to some Starbucks mom. Sitting there acting like her body has been through a fucking war in back. When she has had the luxury of being able to hire personal trainers, top notch medical care, a husband that funded her bank account so that she could do all of those things.
And then to post at 48, all that her body had been through, I found incredibly rich and narcissistic.
Yeah, I find that to be, first of all, I'm dying to see, I'm dying for you to find it.
um that's funny i think what if about if you just put a picture of your birthday if like you want if you were dying to show everybody your body in a bikini and just be like this is me at 48 look pretty good i would even go for that more than all the other just happy birthday to me okay let's move on from that cali who's next okay up next we've got libby
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