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Jon Stewart

Appearances

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

11242.934

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

2005.68

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

52.61

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

6574.656

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

8997.25

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 165

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition Podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

4239.977

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 164

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Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 163

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 163

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 163

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Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 163

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And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Thank you.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

3397.096

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

3415.082

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

5859.636

Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and in your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

60.819

John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

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Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

8088.342

Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports, and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.

Behind the Bastards

It Could Happen Here Weekly 167

8106.327

And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So that's where people have to be like, wait a minute, why didn't they just do an exact replica of the other alien if they faked it?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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On comes Victor the whistleblower, claims to be a government employee, and the fact that the government was hiding this technology and the fact that we had aliens bothered him to the point where he felt the need to prove to the world that our government has extraterrestrials in retention.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Okay, well, I don't want to say his name yet, but Victor is the whistleblower who went on camera who said he was the active agent of copying this film onto a VHS tape and then bringing it to Rocket Pictures.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, let me go back a little bit. 1996, this is six months before Jon Stewart sees the video. A man is going around Hollywood trying to sell this VHS tape of this three-minute alien extraterrestrial interrogation, they call it. He's thrown out of Fox TV. which is even remarkable that he could even get a meeting with the head of unscripted television. His name was Mike Darnell.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He's a retired Hollywood producer, very famous. And he met with Victor. He said he was a pain in the ass. He was difficult to deal with. And they kind of shoot him out of the Fox office. Victor, the whistleblower with this tape, goes over to a newsstand, sees Variety magazine, opens it up and sees an advertisement for like a Rodney Dangerfield golf comedic VHS tape.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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put by a company named rocket pitchers. And he calls them figures. Maybe this company will let me, or put my video on. Cause they're not so, you know, peculiar. And remember, this is coming off the alien autopsy, Fox, NBC, CBS. Don't want to have any egg on their face. Like Fox is having now that the producer said, yeah, it was a hoax.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So this was the climate that Victor was, was, was encountering. So rocket pitcher agrees. They get him a taxi. Wasn't, he didn't drive. Um, So they bring Victor into the office. They pop this VHS tape in, and that's important because I've established the provenance that Rocket Pitcher, the one that actually made this documentary around the three-minute film, did not produce the three-minute film.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I've talked to the director, the CEO, and three other production people that said, whatever you want to think about this film, we did not produce it. This guy did hand us this VHS tape. So the provenance of that tape is from Victor. If it's fake, Victor...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You had to finagle your way in, improve yourself, and lo and behold, six months at Memphis State, I met a promoter at a grocery store who was on TV, and I'm like, I know you, and I'm down here to be a pro wrestler, and he... Sized me up and said, okay, if you want to try and do it, do it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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A unemployed government employee who didn't drive coordinated a huge production and an animatronic doll to be commissioned to make this video, which we're thinking anywhere from $25,000 to $90,000 to make that three-minute film with the generals and the medical staff and the creation of the animatronic doll. And we know that Victor only got about $25,000 to hand over the VHS tape.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So the first thing I would simply ask before we start judging anything, why would you spend $25,000 to $80,000 on a fake alien video, hand it and sell it to somebody to get $25,000 in return? It doesn't make any sense. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. And I'm not saying that that establishes that it's real. I'm just establishing the first flag. There's Victor.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The first red flag of this whole thing is what Victor got in payment for this appearance is not even close to what every Hollywood expert has told us would have cost to recreate their three-minute film. So let's establish that. So Victor's a pain in the butt, too. He wants his anonymity. He doesn't even want to go on camera.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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They said, look, the only way we'll agree to do this, if you go on camera, we'll alter your voice, we'll put you in disguise, but you have to go on camera to answer questions. He agrees, too. They make payment. He films it, films them asking him questions. He's very reluctant, very hesitant, and I'll get to the examination of that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And six months later, after he goes on Art Bell, the Coast to Coast show, to promote it, and he's very nervous, he is livid for the first three minutes. Now, think of this as an actor getting paid.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He is livid in the first three minutes of the Art Bell Coast to Coast interview because they gave him the wrong number to call in, and this is establishing a personality trait that a former FBI agent told us called pendaptic. pedactic personality trait.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It is a personality trait that deals with precision, in-the-box thinking, and I will talk about that later on because it's really an indication of who Victor is.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, that's the Coast to Coast show. I don't know if that's the specific episode that he was on.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And he goes on, Art Bell, and answers an hour and a half of unrehearsed questions. I know this for a fact because the director, Jeff Broadstreet, was sitting next to Victor. And Jeff and I have had a relationship now for three years of emails and been very interesting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And Jeff said, no, unrehearsed. So could an actor go on Art Bell coast to coast and answer an hour and a half of questions? And his answers, like the answers in the original documentary, are mind-blowing. the verbiage that he uses is mind-blowing. And that's what caught me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I left the Memphis State football team in the spring session and became a pro wrestler freshman year in college, traveling around the Mid-South while still in class and on TV. I was kind of like the big man on campus to some degree. And that was a great experience. And I've been a pro wrestler, or I was on and off from 86 to 2012.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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As I'm sitting there on my couch watching this documentary in May of 1997, I kind of sit up like when I'm hearing Victor talk, I'm like, I know a lot about video production in Hollywood. I've been a pro wrestler. I know what TV production is all about. I know a million actors. I'm being metaphoric, of course. I know screenwriters. I know writers. I'm like... What did he just say?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He talks about the being being in the interview suite. That was the first flag to me. I would think that somebody would just say the interview room. He's in the interview room. Victor calls it the interview suite, which by definition is a more comfortable accommodations. And he talks about the comfort of the creature.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I had a psychologist tell me that that is some form of psychological manifestation, meaning he uses a word And then later on in his speech, he is backing up that word. So Victor calls it the interview suite. Suite is a more comfortable accommodations for a guest.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And later on in the conversation, Victor talks about the government's treatment, the comfort of the creature, the comfort of the being. We tried to make the being comfortable. And so he was using a story that backed up a word choice that he used, which a psychologist thought was very interesting. that lent credence to that possibly this might be authentic.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Then he goes on to say it was very hard for the being to put any of his technical information into the primitive conceptual framework of a human being. And like a 23-year-old screenwriter in 1996 isn't going to have that primitive conceptual framework. He talks about...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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how human beings right now, how difficult it would be to put calculus into the grunts and screeches of a chimpanzee, a very good metaphor, which I thought was really interesting too. He, um, He uses so much scientific language. And one thing, like I told you last night, I hired three people from the Reed School of Lie Detection, Lie Deception, located in Chicago.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And the former FBI agent said Victor was reticent, meaning he said in the Art Bell interview and in the documentary, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know that for sure. And liars are not reticent. Liars are yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And just point of fact, for anybody out there, always avoid a salesman or a contractor that's always yes, yes.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You always want to deal with people that tell you the truth. And the truth is most often, look, I don't know. We'll figure it out. I can't give you that answer. And it struck the FBI agent that Victor was reticent, meaning he did not have all the answers, which is not an indication of a liar, according to these experts.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The one Chicago police officer that went to this school, he listened for two minutes. He looked at me. He goes, what are you? I don't know who this guy is. Stop the tape. This guy's not loud. I don't need to hear anymore. That kind of shocked me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And my biggest stint was from 88 to 91 for Vern Gagne on ESPN for the AWA. Yeah. Okay. And then after my wrestling career, I went into the family automobile business and managed our business and our affairs and our real estate and stock market portfolio and did that for, God, when I was on the road and not on the road.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I don't know if he was blowing me off, but that was kind of shocking to me that right off the bat, like I did in 97 or like I felt in 97, I don't know who this Victor is. But he's not an actor. This is too technical.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And then when he goes on Art Bell, and he is talking about the facility that these beings are located in, S4, and he's talking about he's mad that people are able to bring trinkets into their office in this lower alien retention level. You know, bringing stories like that up where he was told never bring any trinkets in.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He has a funny story that he doesn't really expand on about how the food was brought down on an aircraft carrier-type elevator to the lower level with a UFO on this elevator, too. So you have the food cart and a UFO. I don't know.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Like a craft. He said, you know, what struck me about the food, and I'm imitating his voice, is that, you know, it was brought down. I have a humorous metaphor that it was brought down on a food tray, and when it came down to our level for us to feed, because they did not go up to feed the scientists, next to it was one of the nine craft that were at the Papoose Lake S4 facility.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It just sounded like a really delicate and, A very, a story that had a lot of moving parts in it that I just don't think somebody would have the guts to put out there. A food cart in this government high-tech facility is brought down on the elevator that is carrying a non-human intelligent craft.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And to be able to sell that, to tell that, I would think if I was lying about that, I don't think I would say something like that because how could I sell that unless it was true? And he cuts himself off from telling the rest of the story because he's afraid that any more of the food story, story about food, is going to pinpoint his identity. And I... And I'm thinking, something's not right here.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Something in the bean. I see a bean. We have an interrogation of a gray bean, but the bean's tan. Matt, if you and I were hoaxing this video of a gray alien being interviewed, the first thing we would do is make sure the gray animatronic alien is gray, right? It's got round eyes, not almond.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I can see in that documentary, when I first watch it, the eye, the skin around the ocular circle, the ocular cavity moves. It's moving, and it goes round to round on the top, a little flat on the bottom. And I was on my couch going... Geez, that's a very intricate animatronic doll if it is. Then you see the mouth open like this almost instantaneously.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Not like the Pirates of the Caribbean animatronic dolls with the bad mouth and facial movements. And then black foam starts coming out of this being. And I look at the neck, and the neck is so thin. I'm like, well, how could somebody have their hand up and the chin was so narrow? I'm like, how could a human being fit their hand in that head and then also have a tube with foam coming out?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

1775.98

I'm not saying it's not possible, and I hope you respect that. I'm not saying that it's not impossible, but it certainly didn't seem highly likely that that was at least a hand puppet. The documentary interviews special effects people who all say it looks fake. Looks fake. Doesn't look fake to me, but whatever. They said that whoever did it could have a job in Hollywood in a second.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But it looks fake. And then a couple of guys go, again, which you will hear in my presentation 50 times, but there's some movements that I can't explain how it's done. If you're a special effects expert in Hollywood and you can't explain to me how a schlocky video production company made an animatronic alien...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

1832.287

You know, Spielberg would be hiring them, and you can't tell me how the bean, because the bean at one point sits up at the same time it moves its head like this. It makes like five different motions, and that this special effects person said, I'm not sure how they did that. You know, I'm an automobile dealer. I can tell you why a Toyota is a Toyota. There isn't any ambiguity.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

186.518

So I did that for a total of like 25 years, and I just semi-retired about two years ago. and have been five or six years into this crazy journey trying to find out the truth of this film. What was your wrestling name? I started off as the beach boy in Memphis.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, and like I told you last night, without any disrespect, these special effects people have huge, huge, enormous egos. And I want to stop here and say something. In 30 years, not one human being has ever come forward from the government, Hollywood, the UFO circles, to say, I worked on that alleged, hoaxed, a three-minute alien interview.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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30 years, the puppet maker, the two generals in the back, in the foreshadow where you see their shoulders, the two medics, one whose identity I found and talked to his widow. We'll talk about that. Somebody that worked on craft catering, that rented the soundstage, that did the lighting, that did the little physiological box, which we'll get to next.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

1935.476

30 years, a Hollywood fake, allegedly, and no one has come forward to say... That's me. Oh, come on. That is unheard of in Hollywood. And with 99% of any kind of hoax video that has ever been brought out, even the Bigfoot, Patterson Bigfoot film, somebody comes forward at least to say I was part of that hoax. 30 years, no one has come forward.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I will tell people, I'll jump right to the end what this is. In six years of my investigation, I stopped my investigation, well, because I found Victor, in my opinion, but I couldn't find anybody to tell me conclusively why that's fake. I have no problem, and I want your viewers to understand me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I have no problem with people thinking, well, no matter what Jon Stewart said, I still think it's fake. I have no problem with that. But you can't explain to me why no one has come to me to say, oh, do you see the shoulder? Do you see that hump? Well, that's a device you can buy from the animatronic store, and that means it's fake. So, oh, do you see that general? Do you see his face?

Matt Beall Limitless

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Oh, that's he's he's being repped by CCA, you know, talent agency. His name is and he you know, so it's fake. 30 years and then six years of my investigation. Now, I couldn't find and I tried to because I went at this to try and prove it was a hoax. And that's another thing, Matt, you have to understand about me. I went at this like a true scientist investigator to prove it was fake.

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I was a good guy because I was a young kid in college, and then I became an evil, corporate, spoiled brat son of an industrialist, and it was the illustrious Johnny Stewart, and I bleached my hair, and I had a long... People called me the $5 Ric Flair. I had a long sequined robe with a boa, and my parents would be like, my son's on ESPN every Monday afternoon, and people...

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And if I found out that it was real to work backwards, that's how you investigate something. Not I know it's real and I'm going to prove it's real. You're doing it the wrong way. And I didn't do it that way. And I want to be sure about that, that I did that way.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, he did the 97, and to promote that he went on Art Bell. Then he comes back to finish our documentary section of this. He comes back in 08. Now, wait a minute, I thought this was a hoax. Why is a hoaxer coming back in 08? And what is he doing? He is challenging the UFO community. How dare you not investigate? I challenged you to prove me wrong, prove who I was, prove the video.

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And he is disgusted by the UFO community that didn't FOIA S4, that didn't do any research. Think about this if you are a hoaxer. The director tells him in the car, well, Victor, many UFO people think it's real. Victor says, that is meaningless to me. They're taking the video on face value. Tell me you think it's real after doing an investigation.

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Does that sound like a guy that knows that that film is a hoax? That, to me... That, to me, on the surface, tells me a guy that believes, at least, that that alien interview is authentic, to go out and challenge people. And he talks about the possible end of the world in 20 years, which would be 2025.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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scary perfect yeah perfect and he talks about the sun bathing the earth in solar cosmic rays says that he's dying which the director told me in los angeles a month ago he didn't believe he was dying at the time but which is a which is a counter-intelligent and undercover technique to to to throw people off the trail fake your own death tell people you're dying so it's off the who did he tell he was dying

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Victor says it in the camera that they've told me I don't have long to live. And he's coughing, and the director says, yeah, that's it. He said, I don't think that all of his coughs were legit. He's in a rubber mask, that Donald Rumsfeld Halloween mask.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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challenging the ufo community like you losers yeah no one's investigated me right you believe it's real how do you believe it's real face value that's meaningless to me go out and prove it's real if i'm fake find my identity if the if the the being is fake to all the fx world he said all these puppet makers these businessmen because which which is what they are that's his words

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Build another alien and show us you can do it if it's so easy, but you haven't done it. Everything is words, words, words. He was infuriated at the special effects community, the UFO community, for just kind of like shrugging their shoulders and either discounting it or believing that it was authentic. And that did not strike me as somebody that felt that that film... was authentic.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Because there is an outside chance that somebody from the government handed Victor that film and maybe recreated it to look like it is authentic. So I have to, again, I hope you respect this, tell you the devil's advocate that that it might have been a recreation by the government, and Victor thought it was real.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But nonetheless, Victor comes back and acts completely the antithesis of a hoaxer, a guy that challenges people, find me out, find out who I am, research this video, and you'll know the truth. Did not catch me in particular as somebody that was leading a hoax.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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10 years later. Yeah. And that's very important to know that the 97 documentary, 10 years later, because we have provenance that Victor, when I release his identity at the end to you and your viewers, that you'll see that he has 10-year anniversary milestones that he releases information. That's another little something to remind her. So imagine me in 08, you know, thinking he's coming back.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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People would call up my mom at like 10 to 4 after watching me and going, Carol, I saw Johnny. He's got blonde hair, and he looks like he's got one of your nightgowns on, you know, with the boa feathers. So we got a big kick out of that.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm like, this is not what a liar does. This is not what a hoaxer does. You don't challenge your mother or father to prove that I didn't take the cookie out of the cookie jar. You don't do that. You just keep saying, I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't do it. You don't say, well, investigate it.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It was remarkable, and it was something that really made me believe that something with Victor is not right. Again, I hope people can appreciate that I wasn't like, oh, he's real. No, but something was not right with all of this information that I've given you. But I wanted to go back very quickly to one little aspect.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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At the bottom of the three-minute original alien interview film is the abbreviation DNI-27. This, to me, the number 27, is the bombshell. So Victor tells us DNI stands for Department of Naval Intelligence. This will be familiar to some ufologists because this is the department that Bob Lazar said runs the S-4 in the alien reverse engineering program.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Now, I will let the production company off the hook. Could it be that they heard Bob Lazar talk about it so they felt that maybe they should put that in their video, the DNI, Department of Naval Intelligence, which officially doesn't exist? But the number 27, which I will get to at the end, is truly the bombshell that no one could have possibly have known. So DNI doesn't exist.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You can't Google it. Nobody knows about it in Washington. We've got it on Bob Lazar's pay stub. We have an IRS agent telling us that the federal tax ID number is legit. The EIN number, the employer identification number is legit and classified. So I want to tell you something. Well, the EIN number is to the right of that. I don't know if we can see it.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The IRS told Bob Osler, a researcher, that I have no more information about that. It's a classified EIN number. Now, how the hell could Bob Lazar know the classified EIN number and put it on a pay stub to hoax everybody? Okay, maybe he did meet somebody. That works for the DNI at a bar or something and saw a paste up. I'm, you know, I'll give you the devil's advocate. So get this. It's 1999.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm married. I moved to the suburbs and I run for United States Congress. One of my opponents is Mark Kirk, who later became the congressman. a four-term congressman and a one-term senator. I drop out of the, him and I become friends. I drop out of the race. This documentary of mine, by the way, has fractured our friendship.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So if you don't think there was any cost to me personally, you know, you're barking up the wrong tree. So I drop out of the race and we have a bus tour for him at the end of the general election. And because Mark was in the Navy, John McCain comes in to campaign with us. So we're on the bus. John McCain is coming out.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I had an interaction with John McCain that people have warned me not to talk about. So I'm not going to talk about it anymore. So I'm sitting in the back of the bus with Mark Kirk, who was a former Naval Intelligence officer, still in the reserves at the time in 99. And I said, Mark, can I ask you a question before everybody gets back on the bus?

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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On ESPN from 88 to 91. Nice, nice.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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What is the DNI, the Department of Naval Intelligence? And he went, Oh, the DNI. Yeah, the DNI. And Matt, my stomach tightened, and my mouth got dry. I'm like, what the hell is going on here? And I'm like, yeah? And he's like, yeah, the DNI. And I'm like, I was about to say something, and people start coming onto the bus, and it fades in reflection.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I said to myself, what the hell just happened? This alleged hoax video has three as abbreviation on it that just made a former naval intelligence officer choke on himself. You should have saw his reaction. And I've had reporters tell me this. Even Leslie, Leslie Keen of The New York Times, when she heard this story.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah. Oh, boy. There you are, yeah. You ain't going to bed looking at these photos. Good for you, man. That's awesome. And this was hard, you know, to have people take me seriously all of a sudden. You know, I went to the New York Times, which we'll get to, to present my investigation.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Said, John, as a reporter, investigative reporter, you know when you've hit the third rail. You know when you're onto something. When you ask that mafia hitman, you know, a name from his past and he tightens up. She goes, we call it the third rail. You're touching that touchy subject. She said, so other investigative journalists have felt that.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And Leslie said, Leslie felt that that was a really good indication. Again, something's not right here. I just had a congressman, future congressman, and one-term senator choke on himself about three letters on a fake video. If the video is still fake, I'm here to tell you that the DNI is not fake. And I just wanted to tell you my research into this. So you can't look it up. It's not searchable.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm on podcast saying I need help. Can anyone help me with this DNI? And a former naval aviator who I am friends with that I just realized that maybe I should ask him. I said to him, this is a really interesting set of investigation right here. I said, my former naval aviator said, I said, Michael, I don't know if you know this. Is the DNI real? And I want to be specific, Michael.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Department of Naval Intelligence, because there is ONI, Office of Naval Intelligence. That's searchable. And he said, damn straight, it's real. I'm like, well, how do you know this? He said, because before I went to flight school in Pensacola, they tried to recruit me. I'm like, wait a minute, wait a minute, because now we're probably starting to prove what Bob Lazar is saying about the DNI.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So I've got two stories that could be proven, you know, tangentially here. I said, I'm asking you about the Department of Naval Intelligence. He's like, I know what you said. I said, what are they? He said, they're the spooks for the Navy, like the CIA for the Navy. I'm like, ah. And he said, John, you're never going to find it.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You're never going to find it because it's an agency buried inside the Navy. They don't have letterhead. They don't have a shingle hanging on the wall at the Pentagon, if I'm using a metaphor. You'll never find it. And they tried to recruit me before I went to aviator school in Pensacola. And I'm like, I don't believe this just happened.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm going to be the guy in the UFO world that proves the DNI is real? No. This is going to sound like a joke, the start of a joke, but it's not. Two former CIA officers own a microbrewery. This is not the start of a funny joke. One of them was director-level officer for the CIA. His wife was in linguistics. That's all I'll say. And they own a microbrewery. were in the town that they own it in.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And it was a little difficult of a hurdle at times when people went on the Internet to see me, and I had blonde hair and the boa robe and... And although a lot of people said, oh, this is cool, you used to be a pro wrestler at times, it was a little difficult. But it was more good than the military insiders that helped me got a great kick out of it. It actually did work.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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My cousins take me over and say, this is my cousin, John. He's working on a documentary about aliens. And the director-level guy, the man, the husband, is just looking at me, and he's like, you know, we start talking, and I'm being very respectful. And I found my opening, and I said, director-level CIA officer. I want to be clear. I said, is the DNI real, the Department of Naval Intelligence?

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And he said, yeah, it's real. And he caught himself. And I'm being honest with you. What happened here? He caught himself, and I'm like, I was told it's almost like the CIA arm of the Department of Navy. He's like, that's a pretty good way to describe it. He gets up. He goes into his back office for 10 minutes.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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My cousins and I are looking at each other like, is he making a phone call on me or whatever? She comes back, and I also tell him about my emails being stolen, which I'll get to, and his wife is listening, and she was very combative with her. Aliens are not real and blah, blah, blah. And so he is very strange with me now, now that he has admitted this very deep secret.

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So I've got Kirk and now this director level in a Navy aviator all saying the same thing. And when I walk outside, his wife grabs me under the arm. She's like, when you and your wife ever go to Georgetown, you look us up and, you know, you seem like a really interesting fellow and we'll take you out, my husband and I, for dinner with you and your wife.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I'm like, well, that's really nice of you. She's like, good luck, dear honey. And I'm like, thank you. And she goes, I just want to tell you something. it's not the DIA that's stealing your emails. It's the NSA. And I'm like, and I'll get to this. And I said, you, you, you, it was like Jimmy Stewart. Like, you know, my emails got stolen. She's like, no, from what you're telling me.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And you're thinking it's somebody in the, in the Pentagon or the DIA defense intelligence agency. It's not, it would only be the NSA. They have the power to do that because I won't say anything more. Now, so I have Kirk. I have a pay stub. I have the IRS telling Ochsner that it's a – that is a – It is a top-secret agency that he can't disclose.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And now I've got the CIA director and the Navy aviator. Now I get an email from a kid in Canada named Sean Kettle. He sends me a Canadian brochure of an intelligence conference taking place in Canada. One of the speakers on this intelligence brochure of list of speakers is a Prince Lowe, from the U.S. Department of Naval Intelligence. Not office, Department of Naval Intelligence. I emailed him.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He won't email me back. So I have five examples now proving at least Bob Lazar's story that the Department of Naval Intelligence is real and they're very clandestine. And I have Victor saying they are the ones that run the program down at this super secret facility south of Area 51. So to start with, we have proven the DNI at least in theory, is real.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And you know, because it's, because it's me, it doesn't really catch fire around the world. I don't think people around the internet, I don't think people want Bob Lazar to be proven correct or part of his story proven to be correct. But I did an investigative New York times type investigation on the DNI.

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But talking to the New York Times and having them going back to their office, Rolf Blumenthal and Leslie Keene, or before we met, I'm sure they Googled me, must have been like, what? What year did you talk to this? I talked to Ralph and Leslie in 2022. Okay. So, yeah, so it worked sometimes, and I had a little bit of a hurdle.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I say, and everyone has told me conclusively that the DNI has been proven that it is a secret secret. Secret arm of the Department of Navy. So why is Bob Lazar talking about it? Why is it on a paste of a Bob Lazar? And why is it on the bottom of that alien interview? How could a screenwriter know to put that on? Again, you could have gotten it from the Bob Lazar confession in 1990, granted.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But I find it highly suspicious. And when we talk about the number 27... that is the bombshell that really puts together that most likely a screenwriter could have produced this film.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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We're not, well, now that I know who Victor was, but back then I was not sure. He just said he was very careful. He said, I had a reason to be down in S4, and I did encounter this being one time. So he really never said I was a government employee. I was a military employee. He was very careful not to pinpoint his identity.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I am telling you what I saw, what I witnessed, what I was handed, what I was physically shown. I went at this like a true scientist investigator to prove it was fake. And if I found out that it was real, to work backwards. Who I believe 99% the man who went as Victor is the ufologist. So the last six seconds shows six alien corpses on World War II era stretchers.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And she goes, I just want to tell you something. It's not the DIA that's stealing your emails. It's the NSA. The abbreviation DNI slash 27. The number 27 is the bombshell. So this was filmed April 22, 1991 at 315 in the afternoon in a facility run by the Defense Intelligence Agency. The medical staff has chosen more for their ability to keep secrets than their medical knowledge.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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We have later found out that he has a bio similar to Bob Lazar, self-educated physicist-level type mental facilities, and was brought down to this facility by a guy named Edward Teller, who coincidentally is the same guy Bob Lazar said brought him down, recruited him and brought him down to this reverse engineering facility.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So I don't want to jump the gun, but yeah, Victor was not a technical government employee that was recruited by like EG&G or Raytheon or Boeing or something like that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, now this I want to be very clear. This is not the way the VHS tape looked when Victor brought it to Rocket Pictures.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, so this was darkened by Rocket Pictures for theatrical effect. Ryan has a blue hue still of the way... See, this is very important. I can see by your facial reaction. People are like, well, it looked like a puppet. They're disguising the whole body. First of all... In this video, you do see the thorax of this creature, even though they darkened it.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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This is not, I want to repeat, this is not the way it looked when it came to Rocket Pictures. It was blue hue, very closed circuit television-esque, but that is not the way it looked. And this made a lot of people think it was fake because they're obviously trying to maybe disguise the rest of the body, a typical puppet trick. But the production company did this for dramatic effect.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, Ryan's got a picture. It's a bluish hue. Now, if you're hoaxing a video, trying to make it look really theatrical, that's the way it looked when Victor presented it to Rocket Pictures.

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But in all, I think it opened more doors for me for this investigation than it didn't.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The full three-minute video, sir, looked exactly like that. And I think people would have had a different perspective if they saw that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And then he presented it to Rocket Pictures, who then called the UPN network in Reischer Entertainment, which had a show called Strange Universe. Reischer got the OK from the UPN network for special monetary demands because this was going to be a one hour documentary. And that's the way it was presented to Rocket.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And Rocket said, oh, you know, you could tell it's way more theatrically appealing on the right side. But, folks, if that would have been shown in 1997, I think people would have fell off their chairs.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yes. The VHS tape is in the storage vault of the former CEO of Rocket Pitchers, Tom Coleman.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, he's going to want money for it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I've been down the road with him on that.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I don't know. But, you know, you get somebody with, like, Robert Bigelow-type money, we can blow up this entire... You know, because certainly we can take that VHS tape, which I told you last night that I did have the film investigated by a person from National Geographic, which... Maybe we could get to right after this. But you know what, Matt?

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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If the world would have saw that video on the left, that blue-hue-ish video where it doesn't look like you're trying to hide anything, I think this whole thing would have... This whole... Documentary would add a completely different road that it traveled on.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He doesn't think it's that earth-shattering. You know, when you're not in the UFO world, it's startling to me. He realizes it's important to people. It's not important to him. Even the director, Jeff Broadstreet, who has told me a thousand times, I didn't make the video. But it's not important to him. You know, he's an editor. He's living in Hollywood. It's weird, the perspective.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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They darkened it to what you see on the right.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I'm so glad we put that left picture up.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So on the bottom is what's called a owner's signature. That's the DNI, Department of Navy, number 27, which I will get to at the end of our talk. And then you have just the timestamp. I had somebody on the Internet tell me most videos you've seen on the Internet are a hoax. But there's one video in question that's a head scratcher. Have you ever seen the 1997 alien interview?

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I said, yes, of course. I'm doing a documentary about it. He said on the left side is an owner's signature. It's called digital overlay graphics. Very expensive to do. The only people that really did it back in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s were news programs and the government because it was very time-consuming. You had to cut out those letters, put it on the original film, and then recopy the film.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And that's why I went to them because they seemed like they were game to hear something to open. And although they didn't move forward with the story because they thought it was too hyperbolic and that the New York Times editorial board

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Very time-consuming. Again, let's go back to the money. There was no money, very little budget to do this. We had to pay Victor. We had to allegedly make this film. Why would you spend $2,000, $3,000, $4,000 to put three letters on the bottom of a film that no one can search even back in 1997? You would put CIA or Department of Navy or something.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Why an acronym that no one can research and spend $3,000, $4,000 to do that? It doesn't, to me, make sense. And this is in the interview suite number one located down on S4. We now know the facility, which I will get to, is called S2 Alpha. That is the facility that is the top ground floor facility of the Alien Housing Containment Center.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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This is the underground multi-level building that houses any captured, deceased, or living extraterrestrial entity. Let's pause it for a second.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Victor says that even though they've eliminated microbial diseases, microbes can still form colonies in the respiratory system.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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No, Victor said he removed the audio track so he would not compromise the individuals in that room. So if any of their family members saw the documentary, they wouldn't say, hey, that's my dad, that's my uncle, that's my grandfather. Because the two generals, which you really don't see, they're in the foreground, are talking to each other, and the two medics are talking to each other.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And then there's a telepath in the room also that is relaying information, allegedly, to the general.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You won't see the telepath, but you'll see the two generals, hopefully, their shoulders. When the being goes in more of a respiratory attack, the one general tells the other general on the right to his right to pick up a phone and call the medics, if you keep rolling it. What's the green thing? Oh, that's one of the blockbusters, the green physiological monitor.

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and the scientific board, even though I had all of this great research, just we couldn't press forward with an actual living alien on video, despite all of my investigation. And without jumping forward, they were like, if you have a military person that'll come forward on record, we're in. And when David Grush testified before Congress, my wife was like, you're going to be in the New York Times.

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Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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There's one of the generals on the right. He's now calling the medics. Victor says that the medical staff has chosen more for their ability to keep secrets than their medical knowledge. People need to know that when I talk about finding the identity of the one doctor. The doctor on the right, we still not are clear, but we have identified the doctor. You see his head on the left.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I know his name, and I've talked to his widow, which we'll get to. Startling things. And remember what Victor said. The medical staff is less than first rate, chosen more for their ability to keep secrets than their medical knowledge.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And that's what Victor basically says, too. Like, them hand-handedly trying to care for these creatures, not really knowing anything about their physiology is ridiculous. But, folks, I know the identity of the man on the left side, our left, the being's right.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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People think, well, they're jamming it in his eyes. They are looking for hemorrhaging because the creature was coughing so much. They're looking for hemorrhaging in the ocular and the nasal cavities. And then when the foam started coming out of his mouth, they are looking into his mouth to see what was being discharged from the creature's mouth.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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We've got five stills of the creature's face, one that looks skeleton-like, one that looks very inquisitive, one with the eyes changing. And we've asked FX people, you could make an animatronic doll in one take, have five different facial expressions, a cheesy, schlocky video production company? Really? Okay. I mean, okay.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So Victor tells us, and my research has shown that this was filmed, and this is great that we now know the provenance and I can talk about it. So this was filmed April 22, 1991 at 3.15 in the afternoon. in a facility run by the Defense Intelligence Agency, which we have proven through FOIA and historical documents that the DIA took over the Project Blue Book from the Air Force in 1962.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But the program is mostly run by the Department of Naval Intelligence. We have a whistleblower telling us that outside this interview suite was a conga line of other three-letter intelligence agencies waiting to get into the room to ask their specific set of questions through the telepath to this being. It's bizarre.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said it was almost like an actor's cattle call, like people waiting in the hallway and And so the fact that it was filmed on behalf of the Department of Naval Intelligence, that's why you see the abbreviation, because that is a standard protocol for a government audiovisual documentation. Who is this being made for? And I'll give a little bit of the bombshell.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Number 27, that is the security level that you would need to have, Colonel Matt Bell, to be able to see this film. If you had number 24 security level, you'd have to leave the room. So keep that in mind. But the 27 is still the bombshell. And whenever you want to talk about the little monitor, it's a game changer.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Monitor is to the right, the green blip to the right.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Look how it's bouncing up and down. It doesn't go across the screen. Yeah. And the blip does not stay attached to the bottom. So all of those of your viewers that are familiar with oscilloscopes, it does not adhere to the bottom of the screen. We have stop motion where the green blip hovers in midair on the screen. It is not attached to the bottom.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He's talking about having craft and bodies in captivity.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And not one oscilloscope expert can tell me why that is.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Oscilloscope is an instrument that measures electronic pulses, electronic levels. An oscilloscope is used for a heart monitor, you know, to EKG.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, so... Like, what do you think the green thing is? I'm going to tell you. So in 2019, this film is bothering me for some reason. I'm in my car in the driveway. I'm home early by about four hours. You know, we've had dinner last night. You could tell that I have an aggressive personality. You're from Chicago. Yeah, I'm from Chicago.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And it didn't translate into them feeling that the New York Times editorial board would would greenlight my story. OK, so but we still have an open relationship with each other as far as communication and whatnot. And and but I was always wondered what they when they Googled my name before they met me in Manhattan at the Hilton. And, you know, what did they see in me?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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When I stick my teeth into something, I see it to the logical end. Whatever you want to call, whatever personality trait that you want to call that. So I'm in my car, and I'm like, how could I find the names of the doctors or the general in the foreground? I don't even know any military people. Let me just see if I can see something about this monitor. Can I see if it's real, if it's fake?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Because to me, it's bizarre. It doesn't go across the screen. It goes up and down on the screen. It jumps. I can prove this is a hoax if somebody can tell me how they did that. Originally, right now, I'm thinking it's a pane of glass with a wire coming from it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The physiological monitor. You could see a wire coming from it on the bottom. There it is. Okay. Okay. And I want to tell something, and Matt, I hope you appreciate this, and I hope your viewers appreciate this. I have since 2019 credited the people on the Internet and the Internet and technology of the Internet itself for really helping me be my co-pilot on this investigation.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I don't hope I ever come across that I did this all on my own. I didn't. I'm a nitwit. You know, I'm not a professional investigator. Thank God for the Internet. Thank God for technology. And let me explain why. I'm in my car. Punch in physiological monitors. I find three PhD candidates in Sweden that are doing the history, that did the history of physiological monitors.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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From like 1890, there was a crude monitor. In seconds, I email one of them, Sven. Femitoso, that was his clinic. I said, my name is John Stewart. I'm an investigator, which I'm not at this point. Can I send you a clip of a monitor and tell me what you think? These are the experts in the world who just did a PhD level history of physiological monitors in minutes. He writes me back.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I've got the email. I showed it on my documentary. Sorry, it's a head scratcher. We have no idea what you're looking at. I'm like, you've never seen this in all of your PhD level history. Never saw it. Go back on the internet, in my car, on my iPhone. Who made physiological monitors in the 90s, right? When Victor said it was made. Hewlett Packard, Space Labs.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Not SpaceX, Space Labs, who made monitors for NASA. Hmm. I get both of their, folks, this sounds crazy, but thank God for the internet. In minutes, I am emailing and on the phone with Hewlett Packard and Space Labs, physiological monitor research R&D departments. Space Labs says in their email back to me, after seeing this, we're all around the monitor.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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trying to figure out to help you what this is. Space labs. They made monitors for NASA. I hate to keep saying that. They're all around the computer screen watching my video, and they're going, we don't know what this is. Now I call Hewlett-Packard. Research and Development, Hewlett-Packard. I'm like, hi, I'm a documentarian investigator. I wasn't.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Possibly could they have thought that they were going to be meeting someone.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I like to be self-effacing. It helps people not dislike me. I said, is there a researcher, engineer that's been there forever? Maybe he's not real friendly anymore. They've stuck him in the back room. You know, he doesn't talk to many people. The young kid at Hewlett Packard goes, we have one of those, one of those. He goes, hold on. I'm taking my phone, hitting my head like, this is working.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Picks up the phone, hello. Tell him he's in his 60s. I'm like, you know, explain the whole thing. And he said, send me the clip. I didn't tell him it was an underground facility. It's an alien. I said, I'm looking at a monitor. We're doing a documentary. I sent it to him. He says, call me back in five minutes. I wait 10 minutes. I call him back. I get him on the phone again.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He goes, son, I have no idea what you're looking at or what I'm looking at. I have no idea what this is. Level with me. What is this from? I said, allegedly... And I'm like, oh, God, this is when the first hang-up of my investigation happens. I said, allegedly, this is a monitor monitoring the physiology of an extraterrestrial off-planet being in an underground facility south of Area 51.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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waiting for the laughing or hanging up. He goes, hmm, that's interesting. Like, that's interesting. He said, hmm, so you said government, and I think we, now he's my partner, we're looking at a one-off. I told you this last night. I said, well, What's a one-off? It's like one-off is not in a production line, a specially made device for a special reason. And he gives the greatest analogy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, I have actually been doing podcasts about this since 2010.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said if you were a gold prospector in the 1800s, you'd want to make and devise a one-off metal detector to help you find gold. Same principle here. Folks, this is actually said to me. He goes, you know, And if you said that this is attached to an alien, well, they don't have the same physiology we have, obviously.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So you'd probably have to make a special physiological monitor to monitor their body because it's not like a human being. I would guess a human physiological monitor wouldn't work. And I'm like, okay, he's not laughing. And he's like, and, oh, and I said... Amongst your colleagues. And he told me he was doing this for like 30 plus years.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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2021 okay um and i've got about six million total views um about this story which is which is remarkable and yeah some big ones i've done done is redacted clayton morris has been great um about bringing this he was very himself disappointed that then after listening to me that the new york times did not run with the story and um he made mention of that in his podcast and uh

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said, amongst your colleagues, in the past 30 years, at a conference, in a conceptual drawing board, in a conference room. at a physiological monitor research conference amongst all of Nassau and everybody else.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Have you ever even heard of a concept of this type of monitor where the blip, he had a name for it, and I'm sorry I don't have a technical name for that blip, why the blip would not go across the screen and would go up and down and stay stationary. And he said, I absolutely have never seen anything like this, and I don't know why. that blip would not go across like a regular monitor.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said, but again, according to you, we're not monitoring a human being. I'm like, the PhD, Space Labs, Hewlett-Packard don't know what they're looking at. Okay, doesn't mean it's real, right? I hope people can appreciate that. I'm going to finish the story here. If you need any other help, you have my number, you call me. Not, you're nuts and don't ever call me again.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And Matt, I want to look you straight in the eye. In six years of the craziest things that I've asked people, of the phone calls that I've made to people, not one person in six years, military, Hollywood, UFO investigators have ever said, you're crazy, don't ever call us again. Interesting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So now, trying to prove this is a hoax, I go and contact a special effects person who did lasers I saw on the internet. I sent him the clip. He's like, oh, I've never done it. You know, here's the special effects, you know, tap dance. I've never done it, but you could take a laser and put it on a servo, which is a swivel, and tap it up and down, and it would make that effect. Oh, okay.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Okay, thank you. Click. My daughter in graduate program at Northwestern. I'm saying that so people can feel sorry for me that I have to pay for. I said, honey, we're going to do an experiment. We get two pieces of glass. We bracket it with two brackets. We put it in a dark room. I buy a modern laser. I put it on a servo. It was very light. It wasn't this vibrant green.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Now, that is similar to what that could possibly be. I got this off the Internet. But it was not that vibrant as we did. And what happened was it went through the other side of the glass and bounced off our living room wall, which it did not in the alien interview. So, ladies and gentlemen, now, this is great about doing this now because I have all the information.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Now, somebody on the Internet, thank God for the Internet, all my little angels, literally. Mr. Stewart, I think you need to see this video. It's Whitley Stryber. Do you know who Whitley Stryber is?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Whitley Stryber is the best-selling author in the 90s of the book Communion. He is one of the first people that really described being abducted by gray aliens. He wrote a New York Times bestselling book on it. He's infamous in the UFO community. I get the video. He's at a conference about seven years ago. He pulls up this video.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Whitley Stryber is one of the most respected ufologists and abductees. You know, this guy is unimpeachable. And I'm going to paraphrase. Do you see this film? I think this film is legit, and I'm going to tell you why. When I was writing the book Communion about my abduction with gray alien species, I saw that green blip in the corner of my eye on the edge of my desk.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And when I would try to stop it, put my thumb over it, my hand over the blip to block it, it wouldn't let me do that. I think, first of all, I have no idea what that was from. I think the extraterrestrials were communicating to me while I was writing this book. And I just want to say something. This is Whitley Shriver, seven years ago.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I've done a lot of others that have just done really, really, really, really well. People are responding. There's skeptics. There's, again, people that are judging me instead of judging the evidence. And judging the evidence, the things that I was shown, like I've said before, is fine. I'm just an investigative producer trying to tell people what I have been shown.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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How in the hell could a producer hoaxing that video back in 1996 know that that potentially is the way gray aliens communicate? by that green blip. Because I never told anyone until today, which was 2018, 16.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Man, I'll say this. I use this metaphor a lot. I fell off my chair. I'm like, I don't believe this guy just said this. And it's true. How did, if it was hoaxed, a producer know to put that green blip, and it's going to be the same with the number 27. How did they know, a schlocky video production company know, or even Victor, to know to put that in if they were hoaxing that?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Now, another angel on the internet calls me. I'm not going to tell you who I am. I'm not going to tell you anything about my bio. I want to tell you about that monitor. I think that monitor is a bell and howl, blah, blah, blah, with the game turned up and blah, blah, blah. This is not true. But listen to what he said at the end. It is my understanding from being in these programs that

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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that the beans, the gray beans especially, give off such a vibratory discharge that it can actually be collated and measured in a device. And that device is measuring the energy, the vibration of the bean. And he goes, I was told that that box, and he thought it was Bell and Howell, which it's not.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said, but that box is an indication, this is bizarre, an indication to the telepath sitting on the other side of the glass, hey, I'm the great being, and I'm communicating with you a thought projection, so get ready to get your mind open to reveal a thought projection. And that

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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When the bean went into distress, the blip got even more erratic because the bean was discharging this vibratory emanations that this picked up. Now, I'm just asking anyone. With all I just said about this video, the expert, I mean, about the monitor, does it really seem now that a special effects person made that up to look exactly like that? It's not an oscilloscope because it is not attached.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I've done, I have a self-imposed oath that... throughout my entire investigation, I would not be a gatekeeper on information, which is what I do not like about many UFO researchers.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I've got, you know, two people now. One, Whitley Stryber, who said he never told anybody about a green blip, and somebody else in the program who has given us his opinion about the vibratory stance. Is that... To me, I'm not saying it's real. I'm simply saying, does that sound like two schlocky producers in a Beverly Hills office creating this hoax?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Was the money there to create something that crazy? Now, wait a minute. Now I hire Bill Mums from National Geographic. This is the first time my wife wanted to hit me with a frying pan.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Total $27,000. Now, now. About $10,000 to $11,000 of that, because the keyboard warriors are going to start popping on this one, was lost income.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I know, but I'm explaining. About $10,000 to $11,000 is lost income, meaning I did not show up at a specific time in my own private business, and I know that somebody else was there, and what they made off of that product, over the course of five years, I'm being light at about $11,000. But all total, hard money, $27,000. Okay.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So I hire Bill Mums, 30-year special effects and video expert analysis. National Geographic hired him to research and inspect, hyper-inspect the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot film, which he thinks could be real. He does the geometric conversions and how tall the creature would have been based on the elevation and the ground. It was phenomenal. He's a brilliant man.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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They hide and cloister this information, and every time I got some kind of email, whether it was about the alien interview or something else, it was scandalous almost when I got an email about Lockheed having a near-replica non-human intelligent spacecraft. And somebody emailed me that story in the in the crash retrieval team for Lockheed got into a firefight, allegedly with a JSOC.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, to kind of squall the skeptics, I said, who else could I go to? If this guy's good enough for National Geographic, he's going to be good enough for me. So I sent him the film. He writes back. And again, I hope you can appreciate this. He's like, I personally just looking at it, because I never showed him the blue video. He goes, it could be fake. But there's a problem.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And he said, there's a head scratcher. I said, and we're doing this by email. I said, what's the head scratcher? He's like, well, you know, there's a shot of the alien's thorax. And when... What's an alien thorax? The main body of the creature. When one of the medics shows the flashlight on the creature, you see the chest and the arms and the armpit and the shoulder.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He said, there's a head scratcher here. And I, again, second tier video production company. He said, I don't see any creases in the armpit of the bean. And I write back, well, why is that important? He said, John, I've been doing this since the 50s. Every latex, every foam. animatronic, puppet. At 75% of the drying process, the arms come down. I should have sent you a good picture of the armpit.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The arms come down And as it's drying, it creates some sort of a crease underneath every one of those creatures, those latex foam creatures, armpits, a crease, an indentation. And he gave me a bunch of examples. And he said, for the life of me, Your bean does not have those creases, and I don't know how this happened. And him and I talked about rocket pitchers.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He's like, rocket pitchers wouldn't have the technology to do this. This would be Spielberg-esque.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He's saying he doesn't understand. I hope people appreciate this. He's not saying it's real. He doesn't understand how an animatronic FX expert made that foam alien without the creases in the arm.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And the money to do that, if it's even possible, he didn't even know the technique of how to do that, he said would be in Spielberg's stratosphere. Correct.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Right. And even on the back of the head, there was one photo that people show kind of the back of the head. You don't see any arm. I'm not saying it's not possible, but then it would have to be a hand.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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A static puppet with a hand in the back of the head, and then we were told three to four people in the background with animatronic radio-controlled cables moving the skin around the ocular socket, moving the mouth open, and then somebody pumping the black fluid. You're looking at me like, come on. And somebody pumping black fluid into the mouth.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So you're talking about four or five guys controlling this being. Yeah. And that's why we say $60,000, $70,000, $80,000.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, we don't have one right here. It's at the end of the video when the medic grabs the gauze. Oh, he might be grabbing the gauze there. And if you bring up the video, you can see black foam. It's not easy on this video.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And it is hard to see, but we've had it micro-examined, and there was definitely some kind of black discharge. That we have proven. And other people that may not agree with some of my analysis have also said, yeah, it's got black discharge, whatever that may be.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It was just something emailed to me, no matter how many times I said, this is a crazy story, but I want to share it with the public because I think it has some truth in it. You would have thought I was, you know, Judas. And I don't understand that about the Internet, even though I hold a degree in psychology, I'm emotionally intelligent.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, three-minute video.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Correct. It was at 3.15 in the afternoon.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I have no idea if that's like a Nevada time. All I know is the DIA report, which we'll get to, says that that was filmed at 3.15 in the afternoon. But I think four could be the total duration of the video, four hours into the video. I don't know. That's a great question. I don't know that. I don't know that that is correlating to the actual time that it was filmed, if that makes sense.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, Victor made an interesting comment. He said there was no reason why he chose this clip. this three-minute clip, but he did. I think probably because it was a little dramatic that it was coughing. It was brought in for interviews, Victor says, about once every six weeks.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So if it was sitting there for four hours just kind of like looking at the screen, that's not really showing anyone anything. This is dramatic, which also leads it to the possibility that it could be a hoax that they happened to show this – Creature in distress and the medics coming in. Why would you have those medics come in without pressurized suits to really hype up the hoax?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It doesn't make sense to me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Okay, so I go on a program called Jeff Rents, one of the oldest podcasters around. And I started getting an email from a person who turns out to be my biggest whistleblower, my biggest leaker. Claims he had contacts with the DIA, who we now know ran the facility, the main facility called S2 Alpha.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And we have the FOIA documents proving that there is a facility out at Area 51 south of it called S2 Alpha, which backs up the whistleblowers, like Doty, who said that's the alien retention facility. On my birthday, yeah, there it is to the left. On my birthday, and I'm a public figure, but it's a little hard to find my birthday.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I get the email of emails, and it says in the memo, the horse's mouth. My whistleblower, after nine months, and I want to be specific, forwards me an email from his email. Insight source at the D.I.A.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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talking about the alien interview film, the date and time, what kind of being it was, who are the military men in the room and how the the disposition of the film, how that film got smuggled out and off of Area 51.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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There is some kind of a narcissistic, wounded childhood that has permeated in the Internet, and I don't mean to go deep down that rabbit hole, but it is my opinion that the treatment of how we are treating each other in the UFO community by having the ability to have anonymous comments and rhetoric, that that is pulling us away from the truth.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And again, the film, according, this was a DIA internal investigation memo, re-transcribed so we wouldn't be talking about top secret documents, sent to my leaker who then forwarded it to me. And so it said that on April 22nd, 1991 at 3.15 in the afternoon is when that video is from, that segment of that video.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5158.633

And it said that it is a haploid, which I found out is a being that only has one chromosome. We are diploids. We have two sexual chromosomes. That type of being was described as a haploid, only one sexual chromosome. And it described the men in the room. It gave me the names of the men in the room. I was shaking because it finally there was a familiarity to this to this video, allegedly.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5187.213

So I start going down the list. And the first person that I really start to to investigate, it says, is a Dr. Craig McPherson. I go on Google, Dr. Craig McPherson. I see a guy from Connecticut, bald, with his medical lab coat on, Dr. Craig McPherson, cardiologist, pulmonologist. Remember the bean is coughing? I'm calling his office, kind of stalking him almost.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5213.569

They're kind of suspecting that something's wrong, but he's the wrong Craig McPherson. An internet person writes me and says, I think you got the wrong guy. I think it's this guy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5223.294

And we have now come to find out that one of the men in that room, allegedly, according to the DIA, was Dr. Craig McPherson, a scientist at Area 51 that Linda Moulton Howell interviewed, and he admitted that he was a scientist at Area 51, and he worked in reverse engineering. But he did not admit any contact with extraterrestrial beings. Well, of course, I wouldn't either. So I go down.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5248.327

So I find this interesting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5250.508

He died. And Linda Moulton Howell interviewed him for like three hours. There's like a five-page interview on the Internet. I think I sent it to Ryan. Very interesting. So at least one person on the list is an obscure person in this program. Okay. So the next person on the list. Was he one of the medics? No, he wasn't. Well, we don't think so. He was a scientist.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5275.483

He was not a doctor, a medical doctor. The next person on the list is Rear Admiral Schaefer. I Googled him. He is the Joint Chiefs Liaison for Intelligence to Colin Powell. This is important because this will relate to 27. He died. His widow right now lives in Palm Coast, Florida. But he's an intelligence. You know, he's an intelligence. I find that interesting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5302.05

Nobody's ever heard of him, but he's real. And he was in military intelligence. The next name that I come to is a Captain Jacoby, Lowell Jacoby. You're going to like this. I Google him. He is a former DIA director and retired as a rear admiral, Lowell Jacoby. I said, well, this is a hoax. This memo is a hoax because he's a captain here. He's a retired admiral on Wikipedia.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5330.714

My investigator, Chris Jackson, says, John, allegedly this list is from an investigation in 91. Maybe he was a captain in 91. And I'm like, I don't think a hoaxer could think of that. Put his rank when allegedly when the film was made. There he is. I email him. I get his email and he emails me back. I email him. We're internet buddies.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5354.543

We're emailing each other, you know, and he says, this was two years ago. So he, I tell him, you know, I helped save the VA from closure in North Chicago with Mark Kirk. And he said, you said you're doing a documentary. What is the documentary about? This was like talking to the The Hewlett Packard guy. He's going to hang up on me. So I said, Vice Admiral, he tells me to call him Jake.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5381.88

I don't wear the uniform anymore. I mean, but this is... He said, I said, I'm respectful of the military. You know, my father was in the military. My godfather died in Vietnam. I helped to stop the closure of the North Chicago VA. This was sent to me. I'm not saying that's valid. This was sent to me. Your name is on it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5403.086

So I sent him the report that my whistleblower sent me of the alien, the date, how the film was stolen off the facility, Captain Jacoby's name on it. He ghosted me. Now, this guy is emailing me back and forth for a couple of weeks. He absolutely ghosts me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

541.984

And we need to have something that propels us towards each other. We don't all have to get along. We don't all have to agree. But this dumpster fire rhetoric that you and I just, with Ashton Forbes, experienced is crazy. And it's got to stop. And I've been trying... to be one of the banner carriers of that to say, folks, we don't have to all agree.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5420.911

And military people have told me, honorable people in the military, when they don't want to answer your questions and they don't want to lie to you, they just won't talk to you. But he was a complete gentleman to me, just straight up. I hope me revealing his name didn't cause any embarrassment, but I am just simply asking him, He's still alive? Still alive. He's retired in Virginia.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5445.653

If you weren't part of the program, wouldn't you write back? What are you, crazy? Are you goofy with this? Somebody's hoaxing you. Don't ever bother me again. He said nothing. We had Dr. Michael Sala, who's a ufologist. Email him. You know, Michael Sala was an intermediary with disputes between countries with the U.N., very high-profile status person.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5468.869

He emailed Vice Admiral Jacoby, and Jacoby said to him, I'm not interested in talking about any time of my past involvement in the Navy or the DIA. So, you know, he's not telling him, you're crazy, don't ever call me again. Now I get to a Colonel Robert Donovan, Army Intel, and I spent like $650 in three months trying to find a Colonel Robert Donovan. He is gone. There is no Robert Donovan.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5501.782

I've got pretty sophisticated programs of finding people. And another person told me he's counterintelligence. He's an Army Intel. You're never going to find him. In the words of a few good men, you know, there is no Colonel Robert Donovan. Robert Donovan's gone. And again, why would you put his name down there if he wasn't in that room, knowing probably that I can't find him on the Internet?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5525.013

Now I go to one of the medics. This was the big reveal on the Internet. Everybody was waiting for me to reveal one of the medics, one of the doctor's name. The doctor on the alien's right or left. His name was Dr. Wilford Webb Wilson. He died in 2014 in Watsonville, California. Medical doctor for 50 years. There is nothing on him on the Internet. We've heard about this in military intelligence.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5552.394

They call it sheep dipping, sheep dipping, where they try and remove everything that could connect you back to the program. I don't know if that's what it is, but I don't know how a man lives into his early 80s and there's nothing on him in the Internet. Not he hit a hole in one at the country club or he got his medical doctorate. Nothing. I find his widow, his second wife. I call her.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5576.32

She answers the phone. Folks, now I'm waiting for the, you're crazy, don't ever call me. I'm going to say her name is Kim. It's a short name. Can you imagine an 80-year-old woman? You're going to tell her, I think your husband was involved with extraterrestrials. I said, Kim, Jon Stewart, shooting a documentary. This came across my desk.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5597.901

I feel from my information that your husband, Webb, might have been involved in a government program involving extraterrestrials. Silence. That's interesting. A light bulb is going off over my head. This is the woman, the 80-year-old widow. I said, can you explain that? She's like, John, Webb and I had a really a bone of contention in our marriage between each other.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5622.92

And the fact that he would never talk about his experience in the U.S. Army Medical Corps. I didn't say he was in the Army Medical Corps. It said that on the memo that I got, I just said he was a doctor. She said his time in the U.S. Army Medical Corps. She said we had a lot of friends group that were in Vietnam, World War II.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5643.88

Everyone's got a humorous, funny story about their drill instructor or the food at boot camp. Webb, she used his nickname, Webb never, ever, ever talked about any of his time in the U.S. Army. And I hearken back to Victor. The medical staff are chosen more for their ability to keep secrets than secrets. Their medical knowledge. I'm like, oh, I can't believe this woman is telling me this.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5667.292

I said, I'm going to send you the video. Would you watch it? I'll call you back in 15 minutes. And I sent her a clip that's cropped with her husband on the aliens right or left. I call her back. She's, John, I am not 1,000% sure, but I am almost 100% positive that's Webb on the left, where you could see his face, the bridge of his nose, his eyes.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

567.545

You know, just absorb the information, digest it, and let's not resort to name-calling. But there's something about this topic and the Internet itself that triggers some sort of a narcissistic response, and it's the ability of people to be anonymous and get their feelings out. And I understood that from being a professional wrestler. I knew that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5692.141

She said he looked like a character actor from the 1950s sitcom, The Honeymooners. She goes, there's an episode where a police officer comes to Jackie Gleason's door, Ralph Cramden, asks him for a donation. She goes, my husband looked exactly like this actor. And he was later in some 60s police detective shows on TV. And she said, I really want to thank you because you're solving a family secret.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

57.93

Not one human being has ever come forward to say, I worked on that alleged hoax, a three-minute alien interview.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5721.807

I mean, can you imagine? On the other line, like, I don't believe this. She's like, you're solving a family secret. I now understand why my husband never said anything about his time in the U.S. Army. She said, you said you lived in Chicago. My daughter lives in the south suburbs. I'm going to give you her name and number. If you ever want to ask her any questions, feel free.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5742.515

Don't ever call us again, crazy man. Don't bother us. Here's her name and number. She said, if you ever need anything else, you want to talk or anything else, please feel free to call me. And I'm thinking to myself, so how could, you know, did somebody tell Victor to say the secretive medical staff and whatnot? Now, on the bottom of this list, it says there was also two telepaths there.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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They were Carthusian monks from the Charterhouse Transformational Monastery in Mount Equinox, Vermont.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5783.174

Well, I will never reveal his name. That is the only person I will never, ever, ever reveal. He is a mid-70s philanthropist in a metropolitan city. I will show you his photo after we're done, not on camera. He's on the red carpet with his elderly wife. Not a guy that looks like he's hoaxing a car dealer from Chicago.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5803.053

He was a man that caught me on Jeff Rent's program, and he had a contact inside the DIA. I think he had knowledge of these programs too, but his contact in the DIA formulated, re-transcribed this list, sent it to him, and then he sent it to me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5822.651

From a colleague who was either in the DIA or knew someone else in the DIA who runs the extraterrestrial facility. Yes. And that's where the list in this came. This was re-transcribed off of what was called an unauthorized viewing. The DIA didn't call it a theft of a film or a theft. They called it an unauthorized viewing, meaning us, America or whoever,

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5848.426

saw this film which we were not supposed to see this film and i just found that strange too that wording didn't seem like a hoax type of language like somebody would say theft of you know documentation they called it an unauthorized viewing which i thought was strange and it also says in another uh in another email that the mastermind um

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5869.348

was a man named joseph yeager he conspired with the cameraman because that's we were told that the cameraman took the film to the groom lake photo lab made two copies the one copy he put in a burn bag in a gsa approved vault and that burn bag was then smuggled off you know obviously in a less conspicuous thing a burn bag who's going to look in that

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

589.21

That person was coming to that arena to see me and my colleagues, you know, and to get their frustrations out for the month or the week and go back home. And I understand that, but it's not conducive to pushing the UFO phenomenon disclosure forward.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5891.298

That burn bag was then smuggled off of Area 51, brought to Las Vegas, where Joseph Yeager, who I looked for nine months, called a bunch of families that were contacted with Joseph Yeager, who were not the Joseph Yeager families. But I finally found my guy after nine months. Joseph Yeager was a former State Department employee. He was also an employee with the DIA. So says the DIA in their memo.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And he was very disgruntled. And he lived and died in Oceanside, California, which is near San Diego. He died in 1999. We have a photo of him. But he was one of the masterminds that worked to release documentation from this facility. I believe that, obviously, that he conspired with Victor to then sell it to Rocket Pitchers. And it says, there he is, Joseph Yeager.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5945.038

When you talk about the next 10 years of ufology, this man is going to be forefront. There he is on CIA documents with the State Department. And his name came up in the DIA memo. He was the mastermind that got the group together. And Bob Lazar said that the security down at S4, S2 was draconian. The people became disgruntled.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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There was also a security guard that came forward before Bob Lazar in a four-hour interview that wasn't put out until 08. The security guard says the same thing, that he was one of the co-conspirators with a biologist to get material out of S4. I find that remarkable. I find that the tangential relationship between all of those people, just absolutely incredible, incredibly remarkable.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

5996.496

And I had to go find that. This wasn't being, you know, Joseph Yeager wasn't, I didn't get sent his picture. And the security guard coming forward in 1990, they hold the film until 2008. I didn't, or in 1990, in 1998. I didn't make him come forward, but everyone's got this same redundant story.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6018.045

The draconian measures, everyone's upset that the technology is being held away from the public and going to be used for military purposes, not for bettering humanity. That's what Joseph Yeager claimed and an intelligence asset that he told. Victor claimed it. The security guard came to it. Bob Lazar claims it. And I find that the simple...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6040.501

Typical thread is woven between all of these people that don't know each other that all have the same narrative. But the Lowell Jacoby, that to me is startling, that he didn't call me crazy, didn't answer my questions. He goes to me. And then the widow telling me, that's my husband on that film. What is her Army medical doctor husband doing in a Hollywood production hoax?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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We could end this right here. I could walk away and no one could ever answer that for me. 80 years old? Why would you lie to me about that?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I should get that. You have to understand something. I wasn't filming a documentary when I was researching this. So me recording her phone call, which I should have did, you know, I believe she's still alive because I... researched her name in my program. I believe that does not say that she's still deceased. Yeah.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I, I obviously would, would like to get that on, on, on film or on, you know, uh, transcribed call. And would she let me, I don't know, I guess I should ask her. That's important.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6115.782

But, but, but, you know, um, Watsonville, California, uh, Um, yeah, it's just, it's just unbelievable that what she told me how that I was solving a family secret. It's just amazing that she used that verbiage. Yeah. And the light bulb going overhead was her first thing that she said. I just, it was amazing.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6141.5

Well, that's alive so the carthusian monk has took us a year okay somebody said i know who one of the carthusian monks is i have his picture i get sent his picture right away a year of negotiation we had to get an artist to to to do an artist rendition of the monk to show it in my documentary is he the monk that's down there no his name is brother joseph

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6165.767

We've got an intelligence person who sent me the photo that said, this is the guy. We have another person that has written him. We're waiting to hear back from him, but that's been six months. Was he the monk that was down there? He's definitely from the Charterhouse transformation to monastery. That is for sure because he has the same outfit that they use.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

618.803

Right, I like that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So, you know, tangential information, speculative conjecture, of course. But we did a year of negotiation to finally be able just to show his artist rendition photo. I think I sent Ryan.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6208.25

That's everybody that was named, including Joseph Yeager, yes. Yes, that's correct.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6215.114

Yeah, so it's about nine months ago. And I'm watching a Linda Moulton Howell, famous ufologist, documentary about when Ronald Reagan was briefed about extraterrestrials in 1980 at Camp David. But on the documents, I keep seeing 27, 27, 27. And I'm like, wait a minute, it's 27 on the bottom of the alien interview film. So I called Rick Doty. He's my military nomenclature guy in coding.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

623.625

I don't know how to get away from that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6250.346

And I said, Rick, is there something to do with 27? He said, well, possibly. What's the context? I said, well, it was on the Ronald Reagan briefing memos. And it's on the bottom of the Alien interview film. And Rick Doty said, oh, I didn't know it was on the bottom of the Alien interview film. Didn't notice that. He hasn't watched it in years. I said, what is 27?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6273.229

He said, 27 is the security designation Yankee White. I'm like, layman's terms? He's like, John, Yankee White is access to the president. So if you see 27 or higher, you have access to the president. If that's on a film or documentation and you don't have that security clearance, you have to, you can't view that or watch that. You have to leave the room.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6299.11

I said, you know that one of the names on that DIA memo, because I told him I got the DIA memo, was Brewer Admiral Ned Schaefer, who was Colin Powell's liaison for intelligence. And Rick Doty said, well, he definitely would have been in the Oval Office with Colin Powell briefing George Bush, handing documents under some kind of military matter that inquired an intelligence briefing.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6322.094

And Rick said that's most likely the 27 was put on that film because George Bush was going to be briefed about that either via Colin Powell or Rear Admiral Ned Schaefer. And I am simply asking everyone, could a 23-year-old Hollywood writer, production company in 1996 know...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6343.644

that DNI, Department of Naval Intelligence, exists, put it on there, and then put the number 27, which is the security level you would need to observe this actual extraterrestrial film. I find that remarkable that somebody could have just whipped that out of the air. I'm sorry. I think that's a bombshell that can't be ignored. There are no coincidences, in my opinion, in life.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And the DNI 27, I think, proves that someone from Hollywood didn't do it. Now, my bombshell is, you know, Bill Mums tells me, the National Geographic guy, definitely 16 millimeter. The DIA memo, 16 millimeter. I believe there are two conclusions before I get into Victor. And I hope people will appreciate this.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I don't know if that's real, if that being is authentic, but because of the coding, because of the DNI, because of putting two military people in the foreshadow would be wasting money to hire actors to do that because because of the woman in the doctor. I have two conclusions. I think 85% that is an authentic extraterrestrial video of an authentic interrogation.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

642.153

So you come to Florida and you get therapy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And 15% of me, because of the 16mm film used by the government, I think... There is an outside chance that this was part of some PSYOP desensitization program by the military, which we have proven and know that they have done. Dr. Stephen Greer talks about this at length. They call it the MAGIC program.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And absolutely Doty, too. But I want to be clear. I went to Doty. Doty did not approach me. And Doty said to me, by the way, thank you for mentioning that. I don't know much about the film. I know Project Aquarius, the umbrella project that runs the interrogation and retention. I know that's real because I was briefed on it because I was the counterintelligence agent for S2 and S4.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So I know it's real. But he said, I was never down there on the fourth level. I never saw being face-to-face. Remarkable that a counterintelligence agent person would say that to me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6482.692

You have to have him on. Yeah. I talked to him. I emailed him last night because I had a dream about him this morning. I'm not lying to you. I had a dream that he broke into my hotel room this morning because he released the names of Project Serpo last night on the internet, a bombshell. I told him, I said, you have to come to this. I have to get you on this program. Good, good. You'll like him.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6502.518

Yeah, good. Nice, interesting guy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah. I believe that there's an outside chance, 15% chance, because the knowledge of that coding on that bottom of the film, the expense to put it on the film, the expense to make that elaborate of an animatronic alien, if it is animatronic, remember, there's no creases. He doesn't know how anybody did that, that that might have been done by the United States government in their SIOP program.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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giving it to Victor, and put out to the public to see what happens. What's the reaction? I absolutely believe 15%, and I hope people can appreciate my candor that that is a distinct possibility. Because, Matt, I don't have the alien puppet, and I don't have the bean and formaldehyde. We will never know for 100% if that video is real.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, the third possibility, 1%, is that a production company did that. And I did not see the money to make sense to do that. Why would you do that if there wasn't a monetary benefit? It doesn't make sense to me. Now I've had an FX person say, well, I could have done that in my garage for $8,000. okay, we've had a majority of FX people, professionals with, you know, big studio houses tell us 35.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6586.56

One guy said $160,000. I mean, you know, if you went to a studio house as a retail customer, It could go up into that level. I mean, every FX person has said, if it's fake, it's remarkable. It's a remarkable animatronic puppet.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6602.056

And the one guy saying static head with the hand in the back of the head, which we have a picture that there's nobody standing back there in three or four people working the remote control around the mouth. And the eye socket. And we're having a hard time finding, in 1996, an animatronic puppet in a movie in real time. You know, you could do stop motion where that mouth closes and opens.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6626.491

And I sent Ryan a new batch of photos showing the mouth. It opens like a guppy, like a bluegill. You're catching a lake. It's remarkable. And you don't see any of the remote control wiring whatsoever. Matt, why would you spend $3,000, $4,000 to put remote controls over the eyes and move the skin so slightly that only a hyper-examination 20 years later would reveal that?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I just don't think you would do that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So this is great. The internet. God bless you people. I mean that. When I leave, know that I'm being sincere. God bless the internet. Somebody sends me a text. There's a person on Reddit that highlighted Victor's face on the documentary and Wait, what? You know, because Victor was silhouetted. I go on Reddit. There's Victor with a beard, sunglasses, but you can see no upper lip.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You know, like fetal alcohol syndrome upper lip. He looks like a pro wrestler. There it is. And we even have a lighter picture than that. Named Arn Anderson with the beard, the 80s beard, the hair. So I said to myself... You know, the director, I paid the director. He told me the first name, Stanton, but don't call him Stan, like a code, like Stan. It's late at night.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

6721.375

Matt, you talk about God, serendipity, coincidences. It's 3 o'clock in the morning. A old YouTube documentary is on by itself, autoplay on YouTube, called Cosmic Conspiracy. I'm kind of in and out groggy. All of a sudden, a guy with a three-piece suit like Victor goes to open a motel room door. He turns around. It's Victor. It's Arne Anderson with the beard, the suit, the striped tie.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I nearly froze to death. I said, I can't believe this is the guy I've been looking for. The no upper lip. I go to the end of the video to see who was this documentary interview person. And I will explain other points of topics.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But without a doubt, in my opinion, even though he is denying that it's him, that the man who came to Rocket Pictures with this video is former ufologist, current ufologist from the 70s and 80s. He was self-taught physicist. who was a protege of Dr. Teller, the man that got Bob Lazar down into this reverse engineering program. He is a disgraced cadet from the Air Force.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He did FBI undercover work for the FBI. He did reverse propulsion in Australia. He was upset that they weren't going to give this to the world, and he went on the run like he did in America, in Australia from the United States and the Australian government. He makes his way to America. Again, admits that he worked with reverse propulsion, with extraterrestrial craft.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And the victor, who I believe 99%, the man who went as victor, is the ufologist Stan Dale. Now, we can show Stan's photo. Now, anybody that's, especially the one to the right, look at this. same beard, same nose, same no upper lip. I then contact Stan Dale. He's 82. He's still alive. And I show him the picture.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Now, he doesn't realize that we... That's the Reddit picture on the far right, Matt, all the way to the right. He doesn't realize that somebody did this. He's still thinking that he's in silhouette and nobody really knows what he looks like. When I showed him the photo comparison on the right, Stan Dale... Said to me, by golly, it's a doppelganger of me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He even has the hairline on the forehead just like me. I said, Mr. Dale, we have you folding your hands at the wrist in other documentaries like Victor did in the documentary. I said, we were told by someone that Phil Klass, a skeptic, had your bio on his skeptic magazine back in the late 1990s. I have you interviewing Phil Klass in one of your documentaries. You knew him.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I said you were involved in reverse propulsion. And I said, every 10 years, you came forward with whistleblower revelations. Your 1977 documentary, your 87 documentary, Cosmic Conspiracy. You came forward in 97 with Rocket Pictures. And you came back 10 years later in 2008 with The Follow-Up. You had four...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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We have proven you in two of them, but four times Victor or you came back on 10-year anniversaries to reveal more information. He told me, I just can't say it's me. Now, wait a minute.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yes, to me. Now, in the second 08 documentary, Victor, in the documentary, talks about the end of the world. I told you this last night. Being bathed with cosmic rays from the sun. End of the world. Religion is just a control method. End of the world. Cosmic rays. The world ending with cosmic rays. Stan Dayo has a website. Matt, I go on his website. What is all over his website?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Esthetology, which is the study of the end of the world. What also is all over his website? 50 million, being hyperbolic, metaphoric, 50 million articles and pictures of the sun, solar calamities, earthquakes, the sun, the sun, the sun, the sun destroying the earth, the end of the world, esthetology. Like, if you can find me, here I am. Now, I'm friends with Mr. Dale now.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I've tried to have a cordial relationship with him. Yeah, all over his website are pictures of the sun bathing the earth. It's just absolutely remarkable. Thank God I screenshotted some of them. It was actually on the Splash page. I got the picture. The sun bathing the earth. I'll send that to Matthew. But he does other podcasts where he talks about the end of the world, Atlantis.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I mean, he is the go-to conspiracy guy. Highly intelligent. Again, there we go. Highly intelligent. Talks about reverse propulsion. He's got some patents himself regarding electronics and propulsion. He is a self-taught physicist, like Bob Lazar. And that's another thing, if I might break for just a little bit. It is my opinion that the government was so desperate to break through

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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to figure out the reverse propulsion, reverse metallurgy of these craft that they did think out of the box. And they did hire people like Lazar and people like Stan Dale, who did not have your parochial, you know, traditional education thinking, you know, to think out of the box, maybe get somebody in that's not formally trained, but that is knowledgeable in physics and whatnot.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I, and just, it's amazing that Stan has the same type of, linkage or lineage to ask for as Bob Lazar did. And he's a delight. He's a nice man. We've been on podcasts together. We're not yelling at each other. We're actually trying to show the Internet that two people can disagree about a pretty big topic and still be cordial to each other.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I send him things from time to time on earthquakes and suns that are in the moon, trying to be respectful of him. But 99% I've got my man. When I saw the sun on his website and how he talks about it in the documentary, It was just, to me, that was the calling card. Like, if you can find me, I'm here.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, the fact that he admits that Edward Teller got him down into S4 and work on reverse propulsion, he had to have made contacts there. He was disgruntled. He doesn't agree that the military or the government should hide this information. And I believe that he is part of the cabal with Joseph Yeager. I can't find Yeager and his link just yet. But he must have met Jaeger down there.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm going to give you the devil's advocate. This is something that many UFO researchers will not do. I'm honored for you to have me here. To show my ultimate respect for you is I am also going to give your viewers and listeners the flip side of some of the evidence that why it could be a hoax or a fake. And I hope people respect that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I know, I believe in my heart that he knew that security guard, that he might have known the biologist. He knew the cabal. And he was also, he knew Wendell Stevens and Robert Dean, who are famous ufologists who are both dead. And they ended up, according to the DIA, with this film. And Robert Dean put it in a safety deposit box. The FBI raided the bank. It wasn't there.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But I know for a fact Stan Dale knows Wendell and Robert Dean. So there was this little culture, just like there would be a culture of golf buddies at the country club or people that like Winston Cup or stock car racing. There was a cabal of ufologists and disgruntled people, in my opinion, who worked to get this out. And here's the thing.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Remember I said about Fox, how could somebody in the mid-90s get a pitch meeting with Fox? I mean, almost near impossible. Well, how did Stan Dale do it? We find that Stan did three or four documentaries. He had a little local TV show. He knew about production, television production. He must have known the verbiage enough to get this meeting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Matthew, I'm telling you that this Fox meeting is the linchpin of that I don't believe a scientist could have gotten the meeting. I do believe that somebody that was familiar with video TV production could have gotten that meeting knowing the vernacular and produced documentaries and had a TV show. So it's remarkable. And here's another thing.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Why would Rocket Pitchers make this alien interview and then go sell it to Fox and... Take it on 16 millimeter, put it on VHS, and then have it come back, and then it just doesn't make sense. What makes sense is Stan Dale went to Fox with the verbiage of being a video and television producer.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And if anybody else can bring forward a guy that looks exactly like that, who was down at S4, who's a physicist that was into video production and believes in the end of the world and the solar storms, like he said in 08, bring him forward. Bring him forward.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So that was the thing where I said, they weigh you in the nude when you go into S4, S2. They weigh you coming out nude. You ain't getting anything out. And that was when I told people that I thought it was a hoax. I'm like, there's no way anyone got that film out, smuggled that film out. Well, the DIA report tells us it was the cameraman who I have no idea who his name is.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He was allowed to take the finished product back to the Groom Lake photo lab. And that's when he made two copies, put it in the burn bag, the GSA vault, took it off the base at Area 51. I have interviewed seven people from Area 51, from the 60s to the late 90s. They all said the same thing. Some days the security for Area 51, not S4, the main security, which was done by EG&G, was lax.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Some days it was draconian. Some days the security person would check your purse. Some days he wouldn't check your purse. Some days it was empty your pockets. Not empty your briefcase. Seven people, two women and five males. One was a cook. One was in radar. All said the same thing.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yes, if you wanted to, you could have removed something off the base, especially in like a gym bag or a GSA approved burn bag that wouldn't draw so much attention. So that kind of debunked myself of saying there's no way you could have removed, snuck this out of us too. The government had to do this. But it's the cameraman who I have absolutely no idea who he is.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, and one more thing about Stan Dale, he got money. In 97, we see the Ziploc baggie in this Honda CRV in the side door panel, a baggie full of cash. So it's about money with Victor. Stan Dale's got a Patreon on his website. I'm not saying it's bad, but, you know, it is about money at some degree. And he just won't do it yet. And Victor did say, when I die, my lawyer will come forward.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So Stan's still living. Another link that we think that it's Stan in the photo. I mean, we had police investigators, our own, they looked at the photo like, what did he, and he's got the same, he went, yes, I had a brown suit. Yes, I had a collection of striped ties, which he wears in the documentary. Not that striped tie. Yeah, so it's been interesting. And, you know, what else do you do?

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Well, I don't know specifically. Well, I put everything in my documentary, but there's still a couple of things at the end of my documentary that we didn't shove in that I will certainly talk about.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm not going to go to his house and beat him with a rubber hose and make him confess. I think in his own time that he will. And if by chance some other, you know, if it's not Stan, I'm going to have to find somebody that looks exactly like Stan Dale, that had a reason to be in the S4 and the alien extraterrestrial program, and that new video production to get a meeting with Fox News.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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That's going to be tough.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I mean, I've convinced myself, well, you know, this is all part of getting the story out, getting my documentary out, you know, attracting someone maybe with means or motive or whatever to, you know, we tried to sell this to Netflix because but it was too weird for them.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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That would have been a possibility of having tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to really go into even more examination, rebuild the alien puppet, which is what we still want to do if Netflix ever buys this, and try and get Stan to... Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Instead of the Bill Mumm sending me screenshots, we would have his entire... You even said it. I can go into a way deeper National Geographic-type dive on this film, but that's going to cost a lot of money. So that's number one, and show that entire process in one series of a linear docuseries. Rebuilding the alien, if it's so damn easy...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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According to these special effects people, let's see with even we would even let them do 2025 technology and build that alien just like that. Have a three minute segment. No takes, no cuts. Have the type, the shading. I want to see the eye movement. You know, I want to see that. Wow.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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how they exactly would do it, and to replicate that one time where the being goes up and does the five different movements with the eyes, the mouth, the head, the torso. Do it. If it's so easy, do it. That, I think, is groundbreaking. And then, of course, have a more... I'm a retired car dealer.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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It's 1997. I'm living downtown. And I say this narrative because of why or how or what happened that captured me. Living downtown, I'm a part-time pro wrestler. I'm an automobile wholesaler. I'm traveling around the country doing that. Part-time pro wrestler on the weekends. I'm running for Illinois State Assembly at the same time.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm, you know, to have a more coalesced investigation where we are, you know, able to take film crews to like Dr. Webb Wilson's widow, to put Doty on camera, specifically talking about the facility. Go find Sergeant Michael Munoz, who obviously had knowledge and was there. Find the person that sent me the lunch and food schedule of S2 in an e-mail. Just a complete comprehensive.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I'm willing to sit out of my car at Director Lowell Jackelby's condominium in Virginia and ambush him to some degree of, can we talk? Will you please deny it or something? And then do a state-of-the-art, like I said with Bill Mumm's comprehensive examination of this film. He's a troll. He's a horrible person to me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But in 2014, a man from England named Andrew Burlington did the hyper-examination, which got me to thinking something's weird about you know, taking, but it was, it's, it's, it's, it's low level. It's not high tech. And we need somebody like I said, like bill moms to take that and do a intensive AI, possibly AI and help program.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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of seeing what this, is there anything else in this film that can reveal to us? And the linchpin is buying that VHS tape, the original Victor VHS tape from the Tom Coleman, who was the CEO of Rocket Pictures at the time. And it's sitting in his storage locker in California. And he's a nice guy. He just doesn't want to be bothered anymore. But for the right price, I'm sure he'll relinquish that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So as you can tell, you know, we're looking at probably a six-figure investment. And if you sell it to Netflix, I don't think it'd be a problem.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So that's got to be the first step. 2025 technique. Yeah. 2025 technology. Right. I think it would be a game changer.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Tom Coleman? Yeah. He was the CEO of Rocket Pictures, which is no longer in business. There he is. Nice guy. He owns Innovative Media. He does some Broadway plays. He's semi-retired.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Email about a year and a half ago.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, he's willing to sell five minutes on video rights on a documentary. He's not an idiot. He's a smart guy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He is saying we, Rocket Pictures, I, Jeff Broadstreet, the director, John, we did not produce that video. This pain in the ass. I find it funny, everyone calling him. There was another thing about Victor. He said this pain in the ass came to our office, popped in this VHS tape,

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I sent him last time. I said, look, I'm putting out the documentary. I'm going to use fair use. I mean, look at this.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Same tie collection, same brown suit.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You're 3 o'clock in the morning. You've got all this – you see a direct replica of Victor on the documentary. He's obsessed with the sun and esthetology. He was down at S4. He's an amateur of physics. I mean, to me, sure, I was looking to end this thing, and I hope you can understand that. And I totally agree with you that with the right amount of money, this thing could explode in more validity.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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My campaign manager is Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump's former legal counsel. I was her first political client. I'm dropping names now. And so I'm just saying, I was living this exciting life. I'm dating the woman that I'm married to now, my wife of 25 years, Joanne. I'm just living, my point is, I'm just living this crazy baller type life.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Correct, which he has never given me an amount.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Also money for travel and video production team to go revisit some of these suspects. I know suspects, that's a terrible term. But some of these leakers and people that have helped me find more people that are willing to possibly... come on camera, more validity of the provenance.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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In my documentary, I didn't show the provenance of the DIA, where the DIA, this is in congressional record, took over Project Blue Book from the Air Force. The Air Force was done with all things extraterrestrials and UFOs. The DIA was created by John F. Kennedy and Barry Goldwater to get intelligence for themselves, for the Senate.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And, you know, and we have the FOIA where they built this building south of area 51. Just stuff like that to make it even a more less speculative, less bald, crazy guy from Chicago telling you this story with little photos and stuff like we're doing today.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I wouldn't mind. I won't say it. I absolutely will. Yeah.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Cool. Nice. Nice guy.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And you're probably going to have to lead in with, I know John and you have emailed each other. I know you're probably very frustrated that John could not come up with the money and the documentary never made it to a streaming platform like Hulu. You're going to have to start with that preface.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Because he's going to be like, oh, another, because we've had producers email him, two of them, that the product didn't match your eye. So he's probably a little, not jaded, but he's probably a little frustrated at this point.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Thank you. And it's definitely told me it's in a storage locker in California. And he's like, you're not going in there. I've got paintings. And I'm like, Mr. Coleman, we would be respectful. We would bring you along if you want, but it never developed.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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From three people now, three experts said it was originally shot on 16 millimeter, transferred to VHS.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Including, you know, this Andrew Burlington guy who him and I have a couple of, he even admits that, you know, because of what was shown in the 97 documentary, they had a guy named Jim Delatoso, a Bill Mums type video guy, and Ryan has the video. He said this was originally, I think, shot on 16 millimeter transfer to VHS with the gain turned all the way up. I don't know what that means.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But yeah, 16 millimeter, Matt, that's one of the keys. Only really the government was using that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Oh, let me tell you how Victor was a pain in the butt, a pain in the butt. He's so precise in the documentary and in the Art Bell interview, arguing and making sure this pedantic personality of precision. So I tell Stan, let's talk tomorrow at around 11 o'clock. He said, that's fine. I'll look for your call. At 11.05, I get a phone call. I see Victor. I'm like, hello.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Yeah, I grew up in the far northwest side of Chicago, upper middle class upbringing. My father was a local car dealer, a stay-at-home mom. I was very good at football. I was a high school football standout and got a lot of offers, but I took...

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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He's like, well, I thought we had an appointment at 11 o'clock. I'm like, is this guy trying to tell me he's Victor by being so precise about his time and being a pain in the ass? what everyone that has met and has told me. Again, I just think there's people watching this going, stop, buddy. You know, you did it. I believe I did.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And all of a sudden, out of the blue, and doesn't this always happen? You know, out of the blue when you're least expecting it, I'm sitting down in May of 1997 in my condo, alien interview. I'm thinking it's going to be a weird-looking human at the Pentagon with a clipboard looking for a job interview. I mean, this is how my brain was thinking.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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You need to talk to Chris Todd. who also helped on our investigation. He's an investigative producer in LA. He did JonBenet, OJ, Kurt Cobain. You need to get him on here.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Honest to God. That's a great recommendation.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And remember, I'm just trying to find the truth. If for some reason we could find out a different avenue, you're not hurting my field. No, I don't have a stake in the outcome. I have a stake in finding the truth.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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So this is music to my ears.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Really, other than a couple of just, you know, side stories, you know, I'm so glad we talked about the New York Times and Ralph and Leslie. I just want to, Matt, I want to tell you, and I'm not saying this to brag or anything, I was sitting with Ralph Blumenthal, a 30-year reporter with the New York Times, just to tell people my investigative prowess in old-school investigative journalism.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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About an hour and a half into my speech like this with Rolf and Leslie, Rolf went like this with his hands. He's like, stop. Stop. He goes, you have me. You've done it. And he's like, you got out of your car? You knocked on people's doors? You put notes on people's cars? I'm like, yeah. He goes, that's what you're supposed to do. It's not done on a computer in your office.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And I don't say that to impress anybody. I just say that to impress upon you and your viewers who I respect that for whatever you believe, whatever you may think, I really tried to conduct myself like a true blue investigative reporter and journalist. And I think I did that to the best of my ability and to my means.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Papers all over my desk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As my wife calls it, we're still in Victor mode.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And 30 minutes into this documentary, coming off the heels of the alien autopsy, so like everyone else, I'm giving it a skeptical eye.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I think that, and I wouldn't, I'm not surprised. I have glimpse of the future that I just think that we're, that we're backtracking a little bit with the UFO whistleblowers. First it's crush. We have craft in bodies. Then it's, I picked up recovered craft, Jake Barber, his testimony on news nation. Then it's going to be, you know, yes, there was some live beings that we interrogated.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And if this film is authentic, my film is authentic. I think this might be brought forward, um, as, as evidence or somebody saying, um, You know, there's a film out there, blah, blah, blah. That's real. So I am also patiently waiting for the, I've got the verbiage, for the UFO community to catch up to the video. And we're almost there. We're almost there.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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And there's supposed to be another video from the 60s by an Air Force colonel that was leaked in 86. That has still not come to the surface yet. So that was by a U.S. Air Force person and his aide in the 60s at S4. And John Lear talked about that in 1986. He said there's an interview to come out. It's not ours. So that one is still possibly floating around. This is going to get very interesting.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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The alien autopsy was a documentary in 1995 put out that purported that a army cameraman gave reels of film of an autopsy of one of the dead beings at Roswell in 1947. And the producer actually came out and said, it's a hoax. The film footage was a hoax that we filmed, but it was based on degenerated film that I saw with my own two eyes that just couldn't make it onto TV for production.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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I've tried to get messages to David Grosh, and I even think Lou Elizondo needs to hear this. They need to tell people, look, I don't have the evidence because it's illegal for me to show you documents.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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Which is why I think, and I think maybe this resonates with you, I think that's why a lot of people have come forward to me. I'm not in the military. I'm not under an NDA. I can release information without the worry of, you signed an oath. I didn't sign anything. I do believe that's one of my caveats, why people have come to me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

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But that for whistleblowers in the future that don't have a video like Jake Barber is, to simply say... I want to be clear. This is what I was told, or this is what I was saw. I can't show you, but you have to, you know, I'm under oath in Congress. I'm testifying.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8507.749

And that will, I think, eliminate a little bit of the, of the, of the, the vitriol from, from skeptics to know that like Lou would in Lou is doing it a little bit more. Look, I can't show you this, but this is what I seen. This is what I heard. This is what I felt. This is what I touched. Right. But it's illegal for me to show you that. And, and,

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8526.0

And I think that would go a long way and stop the vitriol a little bit, but my opinion.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8533.705

There was one other last interesting thing. From History of America on Earth, Scott Walter, who was the star of America on Earth, just became a great asset in my investigation. More like a friend, a mentor, telling me, no matter what any Hollywood producer tells you, don't quit your day job. And he hooked me up with an agent from the National Air and Space Intelligence Center in Wright-Patt, Ohio.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8563.443

And I was going to put this guy on camera. His codename was Holden. By the way, Rick Doty gave me an unofficial codename called the Bird Dog because Rick and his intelligence friends are called by the public the Avery, that the public thinks they talk to each other, you're a cuckoo, bird, woodpecker, owl. And Rick Doty goes, you are such a pain in the butt. You're like tenacious.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8589.248

You won't give up. You're trying to call all of my colleagues, like Dr. Hal Puthoff, who I emailed a lot, Kit Green, who I accidentally told the secretary that he worked for the CIA, too. Not a lot of... But Doty goes, you know what you are? I'm going to give you a codename. You're the bird dog. You're a pain in the ass. You're rustling all of us off our roost.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8614.332

And so that's your unofficial codename. That's a funny story. But this Holden character from Right Pat said... told me something that I don't know why did not catch fire on the Internet, that the new designation of extraterrestrials with the United States government, there is a new designation called SABR, like a sword. Synthetic Astrobiological Extraterrestrial Races.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8640.328

He said, no one, you are the only civilian to know this right now. You can put it on the Internet. But don't, you know, you are the only person that I have ever leaked this to. He goes, if there is a general in these programs drinking his coffee and sees you on an internet talking about Sabre, he's going to spit his coffee across the room. He goes, you're going to alarm a lot of people.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8663.525

But I'm going to give you that. Scott said you're a trustworthy person. And so, yeah, so the new designation by the government is not Ebens. It's not the, you know, there's nicknames. They've given them visitors, the little kids. NHI. NHI, visitors, little kids. That's like informal things that they've called them. Sabre, synthetic, astrobiological, extraterrestrial races.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8686.26

And, you know, Wright-Patt has the infamous blue room where allegedly, you know, many dead bodies of extraterrestrials are stored in some sort of liquid cryogenic state.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8698.247

Synthetic. Why synthetic? That's what Victor said, that these beings, like what you saw in our interview, he is a synthetic automatic, synthetic cyborg. Part, he's not sentient, but he's part biological material, part machine. And the machine is mostly in the brain and in the processing of the brain.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8720.015

They are a cloned, created species that I think are cloned specifically to handle the long-distance travel, whether it's nine months or two weeks. But that's my personal opinion. But these are cloned, synthetic, biological entities. Part synthetic and part bio and part machine.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

875.692

So we recreated the autopsy. And I believe that fully. I believe that. And the last seven seconds of the alien autopsy, when they are in front of a World War II a hangar, airplane hangar, with Jeeps and 25 military personnel in period clothing, the alien autopsy. One thing I want to jump, stop right here and say, it's always about following the money.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8762.966

Yeah. Thank you. It's just, if anything... I think I brought up a lot of information where it should raise people's eyebrows.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8772.01

And I just want to finally tell you at the end, Matt, after all of my six-year endeavor, risking my life, hostility with the intelligence community of the government against me, and electronic incursions in my phone, the amount of money I've spent, the scrutiny that I've taken on the internet, that at the very end, if at least it raises an eyebrow into the public, I'm happy. It's worth it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8797.036

Yeah, it's worth it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8810.248

Thank you for having me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8815.55

Yeah, exactly. So I've been successful with this, giving my personal email. And I'll give you the documentary website because people can see the documentary, which has a lot more information that we've talked about. Meaning like, you know, more about a little bit about Jaeger, a new CIA agent, the man that ran the facility, named Thomas Mack, stuff like that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8836.902

That may not be real particular for tonight for us, but is interesting. So my personal email is John, J-O-N, Allen, A-L-A-N, Stewart, S-T-E-W-A-R-T at AOL. I am known for answering all emails. I'm really good about that. If anybody has anything related to this, email me.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8856.374

And to get the documentary, it's $8. You go to huntingvictor.com, and on there is the pay-per-view link that you can get. What it lacks in Netflix grandiosity, boy, it sure makes up foreign content. And the host of the documentary is Michael Carter from Ancient Aliens. Yeah. And it's $8. It's like buying me a cup of coffee. And it's really, really informative.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8881.302

And it does, like we did, takes the linear step approach of when... something about an alien interview was first came out till the end to finding Victor and my final, my letter to Senator Schumer and handing over my investigation to the United States Senate, asking them to take it over and do what, what they want with it. So pretty proud of it.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

8911.875

Thank you to all your viewers.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

900.519

And that is one thing people have to understand about this alien interview is that we have to talk about the money issue because that sets a tone of, hmm, I don't know how they did this. The alien autopsy, the producer said we were broke. Shoestring brought budget. They shot it in an apartment in England. This is how lack of money they had.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

924.466

So the last six seconds shows six alien corpses on World War II-era stretchers, everyone in World War II-era clothing, four Jeeps, a World War II hangar. You're talking about a $100,000 budget in 95 to put that together. Where did that money come from? So the last seven seconds of the alien autopsy is an authentic film of the captured bodies from Roswell. Cool.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

954.904

Matt, this is the crazy thing about the UFO world. Do you know that in my knowledge, nobody ever asked the producer, but the last seven seconds, that's real. You didn't rent an airport hangar and add 30 extras and make up six alien dummy body. Nobody's ever asked him that.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

97.502

a walk-on, it's called an invited walk-on to Memphis State because my GPA wasn't high enough because I knew pro wrestling was popular down there in Memphis. And to get into pro wrestling, which was my ultimate goal, was like getting into the mafia back in the 80s. And even the 70s and 60s, it was a clothes shop. and it was like actually entering the mafia.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

975.904

So that's a great question, which is like the the the bizarreness, sometimes the lack of foresight, which my whistleblower talks about with the UFO world, the frustration where sometimes they don't see the forest through the trees and. And so I sit down, I start watching this crazy documentary, and it's done fairly well.

Matt Beall Limitless

Alien Interview: Is it Real? | #40 Jon Stewart

998.307

It's got some really bad B-roll, the recreation of the alien interview, which is another thing. If it was so easy to create this animatronic alien, a really good one in this video, if it is, then why didn't they do that for the B-roll, the recreation of the alien? It's a horrible alien in a mask. I mean, it's just awful.

PBD Podcast

White House COVID Bombshell & Nancy Mace's Daisy Dukes Fight | PBD Podcast | Ep. 579

3245.058

We owe a great debt of gratitude to science. Science has in many ways helped ease the suffering of this pandemic. Which was more than likely caused by science And that's kind of Listen, listen.

PBD Podcast

White House COVID Bombshell & Nancy Mace's Daisy Dukes Fight | PBD Podcast | Ep. 579

3287.255

Oh, my God. There's a novel respiratory coronavirus overtaking Wuhan, China. What do we do? Oh, you know who we could ask? The Wuhan novel respiratory coronavirus lab. The disease... is the same name as the lab. That's just a little too weird, don't you think? And then they ask those scientists, they're like, how did this... So wait a minute, you work at the Wuhan Respiratory Coronavirus Lab.

PBD Podcast

White House COVID Bombshell & Nancy Mace's Daisy Dukes Fight | PBD Podcast | Ep. 579

3317.771

How did this happen? And they're like, a pangolin kissed a turtle. It was a bat that I was eating in a wet market. The name of your lab. If you look at the name. Look at the name. Let me see your business card. Show me your business card. Oh, I work at the coronavirus lab in Wuhan.

Pivot

Trump's Big Speech, Trade War Roller Coaster, and Elon v. Jon Stewart

448.902

The guy who custom made his own dark MAGA hat... that he wears to opine in the Oval Office with the president who he spent $270 million to elect thinks I'm just too partisan. So I guess what I would say is this. Look, Elon, I do have some criticisms about Doge. I support in general the idea of efficiency and delivering better services to the American public in cheaper and more efficient ways.

Pivot

Trump's Big Speech, Trade War Roller Coaster, and Elon v. Jon Stewart

483.585

And if you want to come on and talk about it on the show. Great. If you don't want to. Sure. But can we just drop the pretense that you won't do it because I don't measure up to the standards of neutral discourse that you demand and display at all times?

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1000.026

Like, like Patrick Ewing, a seven foot one with a, I think a 28 foot wingspan missing a finger roll. Right. Like game seven, like you just literally, he could have just, just dunked it. He decided, let me just see, let me see if it'll bounce off the back of the rim.

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1022.918

Worst call? The seven-second continuation. Yeah. Let me tell you something about Larry Johnson. That was, as a matter of fact, and I'm glad that you brought this up because it's important for us to discuss this. Larry Johnson suffered at the hands of that and won. And I'm glad that he got the call because he was a fragile flower. You know that. Larry Johnson had a very bad back. Right.

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1044.875

And for any of those players to put his vertebrate in jeopardy like that, I thought was... I actually thought it should have been a flagrant two and an ejection, like when Starks head-butted Reggie Miller. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Starks... I think it was game...

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1061.26

Game three, it might've been, yeah, game three, Knicks were up, Starks headbutts Reggie Miller, and then Indiana goes on like a 30 to 10 run, runs away with it. Reggie Miller goaded him into it. Oh Jesus. Yeah. It's, it's nonstop. I mean, but I, I have to tell you like, so he doesn't know it.

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1085.719

He's 20 years old. Yeah. And so, but he's in, he's as passionate about it. as I am. Yeah. And loves, I've got pictures of him, you know, at the games with his SpongeBob backpack and his, you know, he's five years old, but like pointing at Eddie Curry and Zach Randolph wondering why they're starting two bigs.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1107.0

He kept saying, he kept saying, so they've taken Rick Mahorn's ass and they put it on these two players, but they, they don't have the rebounding ability of a Mahorn. They just have the ass. Yeah. But yeah, so he he just loves it. And he's got a pretty good being raised as a Nick and Matt and Giant and Ranger fan. He's got a pretty good tolerance for the beatdown.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1135.298

He's got a pretty good tolerance for the raised expectation, followed by crushing disappointment.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1157.89

Can I tell you something? And this, this is true. There are States that will take away your children for that. There are that they will bring in, they will bring in Dyfus. If you go down that route for, for, for too long. But the nice part about it is he always has like his excitement around the draft or things like that.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1177.624

Like there really is a, because there are so many sports teams here and it is really a nonstop, you know, and I'm always listening to the fan and,

The Bill Simmons Podcast

Jon Stewart on a Knicks Disaster, the Soto Era, His ‘Daily Show’ Comeback, Bad Biden Coverage, and New York Fans | Plus: Is an OKC Title Now Inevitable?

1188.514

or you know what so whenever we're in the car he just sits back and laugh at like joey from you know uh queens or you know frankie from iceland like what are they right uh so he he loves that shit so i had some uh i talked to a bunch of nick fans last night and today some of whom were there are you on a crisis hotline is that what you're right it's just a lot of people reach out to me i'm like a sports therapist

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1232.983

The Charles Smith game was the most excruciating, let's say, 7.3 seconds game. of a Knicks, like, you know, because there were so many opportunities there for him to just, you know, I think he had three offensive rebounds in that sequence, something crazy. Might've gotten fouled at least twice. But that was back when they didn't call.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1257.758

I mean, you, you look at the scores of these games and the, you know, like they beat them down 82 to 71. It was a highest scoring game. And, you know, I mean, these games were crazy. Reggie Miller, that was the shocking part about some of the Reggie Miller performances is you'd see a game where it was like 8276 and Reggie Miller would score 25 points in the last fucking quarter.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1278.454

Like he would go off in a way that was just like now, You know, there are these guys that are pouring in 40 points, 30. You know, last night, Brunson, Cat, you know, Nesmith putting up, I don't know, threes out of nowhere. He had eight threes. Eight threes out of what, nine?

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1323.188

I don't even want to talk to you. You fucking... Like, here's the thing. If you were a Nick fan, you wouldn't even be able to still talk to me right now after what you went through with the Celtics. But you have that... 16 championships that have stocked up. You have a resilience in your body. New England has been on the most outrageous championship run that will sustain you.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1351.849

You're like, you know what you are? You're like Sherpas at Everest. Like you don't actually even need the oxygen. You just go up there and you climb up and it doesn't even fucking matter.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1374.625

But once you've won the championship the year before, like at a certain point. You go like, oh, you know what? Hey, that was a terrible thing. But hey, we won the championship last year. That's what I'm saying. You have a food reserve. Like we've been starving, dude. We won in 73. I'm 62 years old. We won when I was 10.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1402.281

You can't see because of the little block there, but it's Willis Reed, Dave DeBuscher, Bill Bradley, Walt Frazier, and then Dickie Barnett, who just passed away, actually. And that's them in the locker room after, I think, the first championship.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1423.416

Oh, I was a regular before that, but not in the good seats. But once I started having a chance to get into the good seats, well, then you're... You just try not to pull the card too often. You know, so... But back in when this was first happening, they weren't great. So it wasn't until Mellow got there and Stoudemire that you even had competition. Like...

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1448.834

So in the nineties, you could just get them? Oh, no, no, no. Nineties. I didn't have nineties. I didn't have the juice. I didn't have the juice. No, I could get the occasional, like what I had the juice for in the nineties.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1461.465

That's hardcore. I didn't think he'd go after the acting career this soon. I thought we were in this. I'm coming off a loss. I'm coming off a terrible playoff loss, and I should be received with a certain TLC, a certain kind of warmth and graciousness. You did die halfway through. You turned into an alien. Did I die?

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1482.978

Or did I, in the closing credits, in the bonus credit scenes, come back miraculously with a patch over my eye and a thumb bandage? That was the one I could never, I always ask Robert Rodriguez, I go, let me get this straight. How do I come back? Like, didn't that dude like fucking put a pen through my eye? I lost the lower half of my body and turned into an alien and lost my eye. The whole thing.

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1506.013

And Robert's like, that'd be funny. We don't have to have a, you know, it's a sea creature that, you know, comes to life in a swimming pool and turns people into, you know. You know who defends your acting career? Who's that? Should be nobody, but go ahead. No, our beloved, our beloved James Babydoll Dixon.

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1546.937

Yeah, he couldn't have. John couldn't have. Here's the thing about James, and it's very lovely of him to try and defend it, but he's probably being contrarian. When I was first starting, because James and I worked together for, the whole time. James and I met in like 87, 88.

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1561.745

He was working in a mail room and I was still bartending at fucking Panchito's down on McDougal street and just doing gigs at like the bitter end and all this other stuff. So we've been working together since then. So he would, as a like junior, junior guy, every now and again, get a little, you know, a blurb off of like back page and send me off to a commercial audition. And I went to one.

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1584.864

And I come back and usually like, you know, you'd hear something. So I think I called him up a couple of days later. I go, hey man, did you hear anything about that commercial audition? And he goes, oh yeah, I don't know what you did in there, but they hated you. And I was like, what? They were like, yeah, I don't, I don't, I think they thought like you couldn't act.

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1603.773

I don't know if you need to take like lessons or anything. And I was just like, you're my guy. I'm staying with you forever. So you like the bluntness. Yeah. Hey, dude, we're in a business where nobody tells you the fucking truth. So to have a guy that will be like, hey, I think that might have sucked is the most valuable thing to have in this industry.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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1622.787

To have somebody that'll look at you steely eyed and tell you when you suck is the greatest thing. And because it can be a business of self delusion. You know, and you always try and do that with comedy. How many times have you met a comic who'd come off stage and be like, I crushed that. And you're like, I don't know if it does.

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1640.322

I think I heard some, there was some light murmuring, but I don't know if I would call that, you know, but they're just dudes that are just like, I'm invincible. So it was always good to have somebody in your corner like that.

The Bill Simmons Podcast

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All these guys at the, they were all at the comedy show. You're talking about David Tell, Ray Romano, uh, Louis CK, Nick DiPaolo, Alan Haby, like fucking hilarious. Uh, Laura Keitlinger, Susie Essman would come by. Um, Uh, it was, it was Colin Quinn was in there like, and you would watch these folks, you know, I, we'd hang out there all night and, and you're working for nothing.

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1691.452

You're working for hummus. You know, if you were on the schedule during the week, it was 15 bucks on the weekend. I think it was 50, 45 or 50. But mostly, and I was working as a day bartender at Panchito's. So, you know. Is Panchito's like a Mexican place? What was it? No, it was an Indian restaurant.

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1718.419

It was a guy named Bob, actually. That was a nice. Yeah, it was this really like. early on blender drink, Mexican restaurant, not a chain, you know, imagine like. Some margaritas, frozen margaritas, all that stuff. Dude, every learning, being a bartender there was a nightmare. You had like a three, four, five page, just frozen drinks.

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1742.784

They'd like a creamsicle and a Greenwich blend, you know, and you're just, but as the day bartender, I don't know if you've ever been a day bartender in a restaurant, but nobody comes in. You're the prep guy. So you spend your day cutting limes so that the night guy can fucking clean up. That's your role. Because you couldn't be the night guy because you're a comic. Because I'm a comic.

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1763.256

So I couldn't make the money. I could only make the drinks for the night guy to make the money. And then I'd go work for hummus. And I have to say, happiest I've ever been. Just loved it. Loved it. Loved it. Imagine that. You're fucking 24, 25 years old. You're in Greenwich Village. I'm living down near Canal Street, sharing a room with a dude. I live in a little loft bed.

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1790.293

He lives on the bottom of it. And you're living this like bananas dream that nobody ever thought you would ever do. Like, it's not like I was destined for greatness. Like, it's not like people, you know, were like, that kid's got it. Like, it was a ridiculous whim. And so to just head up there, no plan, no idea of where this thing was going to go.

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1816.645

I worked in catering kitchens, bartended and all kinds of other odd stuff. And just the ability to like walk home at three in the morning through Greenwich Village in Soho to get down to Canal Street after sitting around with Attell and Quinn and those guys, like, come on.

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1847.961

Six-week lease in an apartment. Jesus. I used to work in bars down in Jersey when I first got out of college. And I was working at this one place called City Gardens. And it was like a legendary punk club in Trenton, New Jersey. And when I say like, like bad brains, black flag, suicidal tendencies, misfits, like all the great punk bands of that era would roll through between New York and Philly.

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1876.999

So Trenton, it was this weird shithole, like a warehouse, you know, in the middle of like this very kind of dangerous place. It was a very dangerous place. And, but all the bands that would come through, I'd get to interact with, because as a bartender, you're up in the green room, you know, you're bringing them beers and booze. And so you're... You might not remember this.

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1900.016

You might be too young, but do you remember Martha Quinn of MTV? Of course. Oh, okay. So she was everybody's pixie. I was the only child.

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1910.264

So she was everybody's pixie and adorable thing. Well, there was a band called Stiv Bader's and the Lords of the New Church. And Stiv Bader's was the lead singer of Lords of the New Church. He's on stage. He's an addict. opiates, heroin, whatever. He's on stage. He's sick as a dog. So he's, he's vomiting.

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1930.347

He looks like we need to get him that, you know, this is before they would do IV treatments like for like hydrate people. So he looks dehydrated near death. I go upstairs to the green room after the show, he's lying there kind of sort of

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1948.59

comatose and i'm bringing booze in for everybody and martha quinn is in there on his lap and he kind of revives every now and then and and is making out with her and i was like boy this industry is really it's not what it appears to be on television so it might be a little darker than what i had originally surmised yeah oh my gosh it was a wild place but it inspired me

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1973.922

Cause I talked to these guys and they'd be like, what do you do? And I'd be like, uh, I get you drinks. And they're like, is that it? And I'm like, kind of. And it, it, I always had this idea in my head. Like I wanted to try to be a comic or be a writer or some shit. And they were like, so what do you do? Why don't you do it? And it, it kind of propelled me to one day.

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2015.182

Right. You just make decisions. I remember telling people and they were just like, like it's one of those things they were like, I don't think that, I don't think any part of that sentence that you just said makes sense. Like I'm leaving and, you know, going to go to New York to be a comic and they'll be like, what? Uh, but it was, it was a, it was a ball.

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2047.388

Tour the country. Yeah. Well, no, those guys were so far above and beyond. Look at that time.

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2054.052

That's the thing. I wasn't shooting for the stars. Right. That like, I wasn't thinking like that. I think maybe that was partially how I was able to kind of endure whatever indignities get thrown your way.

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2065.837

Like how many times can you go to Carlos in the kitchen of Panchito's and go, hey, man, any chance you could make me like dinner and then maybe a breakfast too that I could put in a tin and just take with me? Like it's a lot of indignity. You know, I'm a grown man at that time. Like I'm not, I'm sharing a room. Like when was the last, I shared a room when I was a kid.

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2086.423

Like when was the last time you shared a room? you know, I'm, I'm going to, I know how to drive. I'm old enough to drink and I'm sharing a room with the dude. Like it was, you know, you did, I didn't think, oh man, I'm going to do my own. They're going to discover me. Like they discovered Seinfeld and Roseanne and it's going to be, and you're on, it was, I hope I get good enough to pass the club.

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2112.902

Like, There were milestones, but the milestones were much closer to your face than what you would imagine. You know, I imagine for you sort of a similar, like you think to yourself, I'm going to create a podcasting network and a conglomerate of writers and sports. You know, you don't, you think like, how am I going to get good at this?

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2135.772

How am I going to get good enough at this that they'll let me work here for the $15 I might be able to get? Holy shit, how do I get here so they'll let me work on the weekend? That's where they put cash money in your pocket. If you could do five sets at different clubs on a Friday night, six sets, Attell was the king of that. Attell was... he would do like nine or 10 sets in a night. Really?

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2166.214

Oh my God. The most industrious, like you would barely see him. He'd wander in real quick with the cigarette dangling, go up on stage, bang out 20 minutes of fucking hilarity. pop into the subway right uptown because you had to go.

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2180.573

The circuit was the Cellar downtown, Boston Comedy, but you also had Comic Strip, Catch a Rising Star uptown, Stand Up New York, although they did like weekend bookings. So you had a bunch of places, but you had to travel. Caroline's at the Seaport, then in Midtown. So it was like a little troubadours.

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2212.712

I think it was, and I wouldn't know, you know, the dates. I can tell you the process of it was I worked at the cellar, which was just a few doors down from that bar I was working at.

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2227.844

And this guy, Bill Grunfest and Rick Chrome, who sort of ran it and booked it, let me hang out there every night. not obviously on the weekends where the real comics were. And they would put me on every night as the last guy. So Sunday to Thursday, I'd go on at one in the morning, 2.30 in the morning, depending on

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2246.28

you know, comedy, uh, the comedy seller back then wasn't what, what you know it as today, which is like Monday night, they're doing three sold out shows for, you know, and packing it in and it's all just like, yeah, really great, really established comments, like best shows you would ever see in your life.

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2264.125

And then even in the middle of it, Chris Rock will show up and like bang out a set, you know, crazy stuff.

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2269.907

So, you know, they would put me on every night and, You learn how to be yourself. You learn how to be yourself on stage, which is the only way you can create a kind of sustaining comedy career. And I remember doing that and you just, you do reps, just do, you know what it felt like being like a gym rat, a comedy gym rat.

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2296.79

And, you know, it was you and the waitstaff and the occasional table of like drunk Norwegian sailors or whoever might wander down there because the place wasn't packed.

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2309.56

It's not like they started the show at eight and they ran it till the last person left. And I was the guy. Getting your reps in. Getting your reps in. And that's when I started to feel like I figured it out in a way that didn't feel embarrassing. If that's.

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2366.991

You were in, you were in column college. Like that's, it's an essential learning experience, but that's also what you have to want. Like, it sounds like you wanted to be a writer. Yeah. Not, not a star. And the people that, I always really loved were the people that wanted to be comics, not stars.

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2394.595

They might get good enough to be like, the way I sort of looked at it was if I get good enough, it'll be like bartending, like something you can make enough money with that you'll be okay.

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2406.017

And then occasionally people would show up. Like I remember when Chappelle showed up, I mean, he was like every now and again, somebody would come in that's just built different. Like a lot of us are, you know, you're in there doing your work a day sets and trying to make your way and kind of build. And then a kid will come in and you just go, oh, well, that's just touched by God.

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2428.038

That's just a weirdly different prodigy. Yeah. And I always... I always felt good at not feeling mad about that. Like I remember seeing Dave and just going like, I love that. I love that that kid can do that rather than feeling like, well, why is that guy so good? Cause I was being threatened by it. Right. Cause I watched a lot of guys, where bitterness stole whatever shot they had.

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2466.643

Like I always tried to maintain that feeling of no matter, like people will say like, when did you think you made it? And I'm like, here's when I made it. When I left Trenton, that's when I made it. Like everything else is gravy. Like you, you tried the thing. Like that's all you can give yourself as an opportunity and work your ass off at it. But like,

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2491.257

You always try to maintain that kind of feeling of proud of yourself, no matter what happened, because you did the hard thing, which was to cleave yourself from your old life that would have been fine.

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2524.757

But I didn't find that to be the general, like, that was the whole, the reputation of comics is like damaged people doing a damaged thing. Like, they were the funniest, smartest people nicest, like often warmest people you'd ever come across. Like we all have our shit. But this idea of like, what's up, sad clown? Masking your pain. Like it didn't feel that way. It felt like people...

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2556.231

excited to be in this very fertile, creative environment. I mean, we all worked, we wrote for like Caroline's comedy hour and comedy central came on board in the middle of it. And like, some of us got like little jobs there, like, but it felt, you know, I can only imagine like a creative scene that if not relevant, was at least,

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2589.844

It was like you felt the excitement of it because we were getting to do what we wanted to do. Like it was a crazy, wonderful, weird, dumb life.

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2648.567

that person's dealing with a lot. They generally didn't take it out on you. You were part of their support, not a part of their attack. So I have nothing but ridiculously fond memories. And I'm sure there's a little gloss of nostalgia, you know, that carries over maybe some of the tougher times. But I think if you didn't, if it hadn't been...

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2677.961

somewhat painful and somewhat of a struggle I don't think it would mean much in the aftermath if you didn't feel like you had to develop you know it's like when you talk to a guitar player and you know and they play unbelievable and then they show you pictures of like the blisters on their hands and you're like yeah that's no blister no solo you know what I mean like it's

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2735.836

We had... We had a guy named Bruce Lee Gilmer, who was the music booker, and Beth McCarthy was the director of the show. And she had been a director at MTV, did all the live, like if you ever watch Nirvana Unplugged or those kinds of things. Alex Coletti had come up with the concepts and was doing the unplugs, but Beth was directing them all.

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2758.378

And you see, even in that Nirvana Unplugged, that little moment where Kirk turns and smiles to the camera, that was Beth going like, are you having fun here, Kirk, at all? But she's, to my mind, the greatest live music director of all time. She's just phenomenal. She went on, she did Saturday Night Live, but she directed our show, our dopey little show, for the whole time it was on.

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2796.639

When we were done at MTV, we went over to Paramount and I think the first week on the air, the musical guests were public enemy and Johnny cash. And like, that was the breath of it. Biggie Smalls was on, uh, ODB Wu Tang, uh, Mike Watt came on and Grohl played drums while Eddie Vedder and Pat Smear played guitar for him. Like it was insane. Slayer, Danzig. Like it was the breadth of it. Yeah.

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2839.805

Yeah. No, I love those guys. And they were all like, Again, like, I know the reputation, like, oh, everybody comes on and there's attitude and all that shit. None of it. Like, they were all hanging out in the green room with, you know, Trent Reznor and Marilyn Manson. Like, it was crazy. And it was so much fun. But the music was so good and such an important part of it.

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2865.91

And like, we were able to sneak in, you know, guided by voices and everything. uh, uh, bad religion and bands that were like, not quite mainstream, but really great, you know, Buffalo Tom, uh, kind of closer in there. I remember a bunch of them just, it was an incredible, that was my favorite part of the, of the show.

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2900.391

You know who did it? All that shit. You know who didn't? Well, were the executives that were in charge of the program when they canceled it. No, the MTV one, actually, we did really well in the ratings. It was when we went to Paramount, got syndicated, is when, that's when it went. I blame that on Babydoll.

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2919.896

He's like, baby, it's a lot of money. We got to do this. No, it was, what happened was Arsenio left and Paramount owned MTV. And so they bought us to do that. That was it. But we didn't realize like, you'll be on at three in the morning in Houston and 11 o'clock at night in, you know, Atlanta. But Even that was a great experience.

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2944.875

And to go to our earlier point, when you get canceled and your name is on the show, like when they come into the office and go, that show with your name on it. Yeah.

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2957.258

It's not great. Right. It's not great. But what's better than waking up the next day and going, oh, I'm still alive and I can still write jokes and I can still do the shit that I love to do. And I'll, it won't maybe in that venue, but I can go off and do it. That's the crazy part about, I think, the way that people view the kind of stereotypes of the businesses that we're in.

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2985.618

And I heard Jack Antonoff actually sum this up really well. I can't remember the interview I was watching, but Jack Antonoff was talking about going into music and he would be like, I'm going, I'm thinking about going into music. And everybody would say to him, like, what are you crazy music? What do you think you're doing?

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3002.961

But if he had said, I want to be an astronaut, they'd all be like, yes, fantastic. But then he goes, but how many, there's like seven astronauts. Music is everywhere. Like, why wouldn't they say, oh, you love music? That's amazing. It's everywhere. And that's, they view these careers as like not safe. Yeah. As a lark, as an indulgence. But comedy is everywhere. Sports are everywhere.

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3030.092

Writing is everywhere. Like, why wouldn't you say to somebody, oh, if that's what you love, you'll probably work your ass off at it. And you'll probably end up, you might not get to here, but you might be fine. You might make enough to make a living and have a family. Like, why wouldn't that be encouraged? I think so. Yeah. Oh, go ahead.

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3054.597

No, I was just going to say so that when the cancellation came as hard as it was, it was also freeing. Because I realized like, oh, I still get to do the very thing that I came up here to do.

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3137.935

Yeah, this actually might not happen. There were viral sensations back when we were younger too. It was just a different mentality. You know, they didn't have that, you know, I'm sure there was a, you know, an analog to Hawk Tua, you know, back in, you know, but, but it would be somebody. Donna Rice or one of those type of people.

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3160.78

It's exactly, that's the perfect analogy to, although, yeah, somebody that came up through notoriety and maybe infamy. Yeah. But didn't necessarily have something attached to that, but then took those opportunities beyond that to go on all kinds of, you know, write a book or be on shows or that kind of shit.

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3234.157

That's the issue, right? I think those people would rather be the biggest comic in the country. That's not really how it, but 10 years ago, Nate Bargatze, uh,

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3261.214

Some of that is just ubiquity, right? So people don't, Those sort of talk shows do provide, I think, a kind of weird, repetitive habit forming. Like I go to bed watching The Tonight Show or Colbert or Kimmel, and I wake up watching GMA or The Today Show. You know, that's always been kind of the idea of it is to lock people into a brand. I have a CBS lifestyle. I have an NBC lifestyle, you know.

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3296.465

And if you look on YouTube, there's still millions and millions of people, you know, the ratings traditionally are maybe not the same, but I would argue the reach of it is maybe bigger. It may not be monetized through advertising dollars in the way that they think makes it an efficient use of network capital. But in terms of its ability to permeate and people to see it, I think it's still really

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3324.187

really large you know you it's shifted to youtube and spotify and you look at seth will do a bit you know on it's 12 30 at night which was never like a huge uh audience thing but he'll get millions of people watching it on youtube or facebook or whatever the hell people watch stuff now um mulaney's doing a cool thing on netflix like yeah just allowing himself like to do

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3348.326

to just be as creative as like old time Letterman on a weekly basis on Netflix, they've given him kind of the leeway to be able to do all that stuff. I think what will ultimately happen is you'll still have something that resembles it, but maybe not with the infrastructure. We're carrying an old... The way I look at it is like, I run a tower records. Do you know what I mean?

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3379.893

People are always going to want music. But I'm still the guy who's like, well, come into my giant building and let me show you the new CD rack. It's just a delivery system of something that I think people will always find... somewhat interesting or appealing. But without the brick and mortar, like you watch a Z-Way or somebody who's doing something really interesting, creativity finds a way.

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3408.896

Like great, funny, interesting people find a way to make topical commentary or interviewing interesting for people. And that's always going to be

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3458.045

I come back in. I do that thing now that like Aaron Rodgers can do, like where you do the thing where you're like, I'm going to go on a darkness retreat and then maybe I'll sign in September, but I don't want to go to practice. Is that okay with everybody? You know, it's that kind of shit.

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3485.057

Well, look, the muscle memory, I think one of the advantages I had is the people that the really talented, creative writers, producers, and all that of that, you know, it's, it's a, it's an organism, it's a mechanism. And the people that did it when I was there were still there. only they had all leveled up their skills. Like they had all done boss battles.

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3509.125

And so now I was walking back into the place where it was the comfort of all these people I love. Like, I will say we have a fucking ball. Like I know that that's, I think everybody works hard, but it is fun. Like they're great people. I love being around them. They've leveled up their skill level. So that part I wasn't nervous about. I was... Man, it's a weird, it's hard to describe the feeling.

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3537.422

The first day I went in to do the show and I'm sitting behind the desk in rehearsal and a lot of the camera guys, this guy Phil, this TQ and Richie, they're all behind the cameras. It's like people that, you know, I've been with for 30 years. So I knew them all. So it's not like I was like, where am I? Who are you? You know, the comfort was there. We did the rehearsal.

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3562.632

But when I put the suit on and I came down and I sat behind the desk in the suit and I looked into the camera and saw on the monitor myself at the desk in the suit with the script, had the pen, the whole deal. But I look like this now.

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3585.948

Yeah. It looked like Do you know those like Instagram posts where they're like a friend group that takes the same picture every 10 years?

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3600.069

And that was daunting because it was a very strange, like kind of melancholy feeling of the evidence of you know, decrepitude is too strong a word, but you do look at that and think, Oh shit. Like Pat, it was explicit evidence of passage of time.

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3640.577

But then you get it as you're, get older like fuck and as your kids get older and so as I sat there it really was a stark feeling for me and also wondering if the audience would be able to get past it to just hear the jokes and and see all the thing or if they would be distracted by this image that they had seen for so many years that was now so clearly in a different you know

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3678.818

Not much, man. I, I'd been out there a bit. I'd been on Steven's show a bit, but I really don't, you know, James will tell you, I don't like to do shit. I like to be home.

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3700.216

Oh, my God. That's so funny. Listen, I put enough distance on his pool that I feel very comfortable with the choices.

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3715.883

He'll tell you that the worst ones are the advertisements, the commercials people would come with. And he'd be like, what? You don't understand. They don't make deals like this. And I'd be like, I don't care. I don't use that product.

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3740.982

The best at what he does of anybody I've ever seen. And part of it is he's so, he doesn't play games. There's no both. Like, He's just like, this is what we're doing. He doesn't try and trick people. He doesn't strategize around it. He doesn't try and take shortcuts. He just does his fucking job in a straightforward, like clear cut, honest manner.

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3764.596

And the people that appreciate that are great to do business with. And the people that don't appreciate that are people you wouldn't want to do business with in the first place. Because there are, as you have probably figured out by now, a shit ton of liars in this business. On every level.

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3785.512

No, that part of it is absolutely, I'm sure, not what you got into. What's the part of this that you love the best?

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3822.088

Jen Flantz, who's the executive producer of the show, who like that show wouldn't happen without her. If you're looking at the special sauce, like she is, she's, you know, the keeper of the formula to the Krusty Krab. Like she knows what's up. She was a PA when I got there. Wow. In 1999. She was, she was in the building before I was. She was a production assistant.

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3845.919

And you just watch, she was just a killer, just smart as shit. And like, you just watched her get better and better and better and level up and level up. And, you know, making her executive producer was one of the easiest decisions in my life. Like, it's just easy.

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3879.992

Yeah. Why is he doing this? Why is he bringing all this up? called me a threat to democracy.

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3892.854

Oh, Charlemagne. So I love listening to him. He just, he just fucking, he just cuts through it.

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3923.398

Well, I think the process is it continues to be sort of what it always was, which is it's not a reexamination of news. It's really... a kind of re-examination of the most, what you think are the most absurd aspects of these institutions that we like to me, that first Biden bit we did was that.

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3952.338

Like, the idea that we're not looking at this as that, you know, we are supposedly in the most dangerous election of our lifetime, the only way we will fend off forever fascism, and we're not going to put our best foot forward, and we're going to all pretend that this guy who, fine, did a good job, but like, this ain't fucking, you know, peewee football. Like, this is the presidency.

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3984.321

It just seemed utterly absurd to me. And then I remember we had come back. It was right after the Superbowl, I think. And traditionally, I think during the Superbowl, the president has an opportunity to address, you know, do an interview in the middle. So this is a run-up to the election.

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4000.109

You have a chance to do an interview and get to, and they decided not to do it, but rather put out TikToks of him, like eating chocolate chip cookies. Right. And.

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4014.949

And so we ran a big montage of everybody saying, the idea that he's too old is ridiculous. He's the sharpest guy. I think it was, you don't understand. If you were in the meetings, you would see someone at the top of their game. Sharp as a tack. Sharp as a tack. And the joke was, ooh, has anyone thought to film that? Right.

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4033.705

Because the shit we're seeing does not engender... Because what happened with Biden, and this sort of brings it around to comedy, like... The worst thing a comic can be for an audience is fragile. Like if you're in the audience and you're worried about the comic, not in a mean way, like in a way of like, I don't think this guy's very good. This is going to be rough. And he's like stumbling.

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4061.205

The spell is gone. It's a fragile spell. And if that's the way you're viewing the present, and that is the way when you couldn't deny that when you watched him, there was trepidation. that he wouldn't get through it and he would fuck it up.

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4094.338

Those conversations were taking place. everywhere except on the news where they're supposed to take place and I think you know I've always said the truest part of CNN or MSNBC the truest part of the broadcast is in their green room if you go to the green room of those 24 hours you'll hear the truth

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4117.139

You'll hear people that are involved in politics that are politicians, that are consultants, that are journalists, that are analysts. That's where they tell the truth. Can you believe this fucking guy? There's no way he makes it through. He can't even get up. If we do this, it's a disaster on the... Camera's on, red light's on. You know, I don't, he's able to get through certain legislation.

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4139.759

I wouldn't say that it's a detriment. I think it's perhaps it's his experience that could help. But if you go in that green room, that's the truth. And our show has always hopefully been a kind of presentation of the absurdity between what's going on in the green room and what's going, what they're putting out as the official version and how those differ.

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And that's, you know, shifts in tone. I don't mind. It's shifts in absolutes that I always mind. And I think, Like I've always said to the people at Daily Show, I go, look around this room. Like when you leave here, these will be your only remaining friends. Like you can't look at it like I need to maintain access.

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4226.791

And I firmly believe that if you stick to what you think is true and defensible, you'll be okay. We all fuck up. you know, we all say something that's intemperate or like maybe didn't come out the way you want it to. And when you own that stuff, when you need to, you should. But boy, when we put on this, and you and I are wrestling fans, when you put on this kayfabe. Yeah.

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4253.331

And now I'm starting to feel like the whole thing is kayfabe. The whole thing is, you know, we talked about it on the show. It used to be the, it's not the crime, it's the coverup. I feel like the whole thing is coverup now. no matter who's out there.

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4273.326

But they still think of authenticity as a strategy, which is the antithesis of authenticity.

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4312.611

Is that for athletes? Do they have people who, kind of that are working with them on that to make it that way?

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4350.455

If you look at it and go, well, geez, if somebody who is as great as LeBron can face a backlash and, I guess, what chance do I have? I mean, Jordan was very, you know, famously was like, I'm staying out of the fray. And, you know, but then you see the 30 for 30s and, you know, the last dance and all that. And you're like, oh.

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4405.032

And ultimately, they get called out for it, I think. You know, there's that... Right. You know, there's always... You know what's interesting?

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4412.965

Tatum faces that a lot, which I think is you look at a guy who's just so good and won a world championship, but even in the midst of winning a world championship, people were like, that's the wrong way to say what he just said mimics what Kobe just... And I thought that was so...

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4435.37

fascinating that here he was at the peak of this and he clearly like with his boy which like you're just like oh my god this is a moment's moment like this and then you look online and people are just fuck that guy he's doing that's that's not real and you just think oh boy the other thing that I forget the other piece of it is we face relentless we live in a a culture of relentless comment

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4464.099

relentless commentary. And those that are in sports or entertainment or politics, you know, those relentless comments as they exist in the ether, but I think they ultimately begin to have a kind of molecular weight to them as well, that the heaviness and you carry that, you carry that around as a little bit of extra weight.

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4493.015

as you're going through this other journey that's really hard to do in the first place. And I do think it's weighed on them.

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4502.377

But people say like, I don't go in the comments. That's nonsense. You know, I don't check that stuff. Yes, you do. It's like saying, it's like being, it's like being in a comedy club, right? And whenever you're in a comedy club and you're doing a show, there's going to be a table of people that like aren't having it, just not feeling it. Yeah.

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Social media is, then you have to ride home with that table in the cab and hear them talk their shit. But to suggest that like, I don't listen to it. Like people are calling your name. You're not going to go, what? Like, of course you know about it.

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4570.116

Were there, I remember when I was just leaving the show is when like the internet was kind of coming to bear.

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4607.552

Right. It stole, I think, a lot of the joy of it to some extent, but also the relentlessness of the news cycle and the redundancy of the news cycle. I sort of got to a point where I didn't know how to creatively elevate the show anymore. I just didn't feel like I had the ability to do that. And I felt myself checking out to the extent that it wasn't fair.

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4635.353

You can't, you shouldn't just stay in a place because you can, because they'll let you, you know, you don't want to just coast. Combining that with my kids were at that age where Like, I needed to be there. You know, they were seven, eight, nine years old. Like, I needed to be there in a more explicit way than I had been able to throughout the run of the show.

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4662.315

So all those things kind of coalesced into a very clear feeling of... You kind of know when it's time, yeah. This is the right move. I've always said one of the best decisions I ever made was accepting the job and one of the... other best decisions I ever made was when I left because I'll never, I will never, I would never have been able to get those years back.

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4686.117

Just even the, like driving them home from school every day. And you just hear shit you wouldn't hear. I was there at the crying times before crying because they didn't want to go to school and crying because they didn't want to go to bed. Those were the only two times I got to see anybody.

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4716.219

They go to college and I'm like, well, that's the other thing you find out. Oh, my kid's 15 now.

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4728.486

That's so fun. I was saying that to Paul Ruddy was on the show. I was like, you know, I think I made a mistake when I was a little younger and that I didn't make any friends. And so when my son and my daughter went off to college, I was like, huh, Hey, honey, you want to watch a game and eat a sandwich? I was like, no.

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4757.501

I'm at a spot now where I can do Monday until, you know, the company is bought out by people that don't want anything to do with The Daily Show. And then who the fuck knows what's going to happen? I mean, look what they're doing now at 60 Minutes and CBS News and everything else.

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4789.67

Wonder if it's going to exist because an interview, they aired an edited interview, which is how all interviews air. Now, you can make comments about, well, I think I didn't like the way they edited it in the way that oftentimes people don't like the way they edited it.

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4805.678

But it certainly doesn't rise to the level of libel, slander, or whatever the fuck else they think they're doing with a $2 billion interview. lawsuit. It's a purely subjective editorial decision that are made every day, including on Fox News and OAN or whatever it is that Trump feels like. But what you're seeing now is all must pay tribute to the king.

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4837.011

And the price of that, the price of peace is different. You know, ABC had to pay $15 million. Bezos had to pay $40 million for a documentary on Melania. Zuckerberg had to pay. They just pay, they just put money into the pot so that hopefully they don't get, they're paying, like, what does that remind you of?

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4864.3

Right. It's protection money. So ultimately, at the end of this, does Trump burn our fucking country down for insurance money? Like, where are we headed? But the reason why the guy from 60 Minutes and the reason why the head of CBS News left is it's not even about the money. which I think is, they've said is upwards of like 50 million.

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4885.499

Imagine paying $50 million for fucking nothing just to get somebody to approve a merger. A, it's bribery. But B, the reason they all left is part of the deal is they have to apologize. And in that moment, these people who have built careers on their excellence and their integrity had to look And go like, all right, well, I hope I've done well enough that I can weather this.

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4915.708

But there's no fucking way that I'm going to apologize for doing my job the way it's supposed to be done.

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4938.561

But, you know, now he'll go after Harvard and Comcast or whatever the hell else he does because a policy of appeasement always leads to more conquest. It's tragic.

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4975.313

Oh, you think it's like a, did they fire the coach? And then they're going to bring somebody down?

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5010.778

The corruption of the system sets the stage for these kinds of disruptions. Yes. Like the, I'm convinced that, the Iraq war and the way it was prosecuted and the fact that Bush and the Republican, you know, that the establishment Republicans that, that led that charge, That is what opened the opportunity and the door for Donald Trump to demolish and take over the husk of that party.

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5043.157

They had so destroyed their credibility that for somebody to come in with a new idea, take a hold of that apparatus and turn it on its head was exactly... That was... That was set. The ground was set because of the actions in Iraq and all those other things. This and what happened with Biden and everything else will set the stage for a similar opportunity in the Democratic Party.

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5075.493

Whether or not someone is able to grab that apparatus and build something powerful and effective out of it will be the real trick. And we might not even know who that would be. But certainly the opportunity right now is there because the status quo, right, of that party is tainted. Everybody's got it on them. Almost everybody.

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5101.582

Which means that it really opens the door for somebody to walk in and go, I'll take your infrastructure, but the rest of you motherfuckers have to go. Or you have to get in line. And this is the new way that we pursue the vision for whatever the Democratic Party is going to be.

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5119.625

Or you need one or two great people, which is another... Or one or two not so great people who just... I mean, I wouldn't suggest that... Trump is a great person, but he was a person with a vision. And when things are in disrepair, vision goes a long way. Vision and will. And I think it's entirely possible. And I think it's actually... The opportunity is there.

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5149.867

I just hope that they seize it in the right way and don't just paper over, which is what you tend to think they're going to do.

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5223.979

I mean, I think circumstance dictates the people that rise to those challenges. And I absolutely think, you know, opportunity almost never goes wasted. Like, I think someone always steps up and steps in, maybe not to the extent that we'd want it to or maybe on the other side, but I always remain optimistic.

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5251.155

Because there's too many, look, on an individual basis, there's just too many fucking good people. Yeah. And I don't think these things all go in sort of cycles and those cycles change. And as they say, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. But what people don't say a whole lot is, but it doesn't bend by itself.

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5272.702

And there's a whole bunch of people trying to bend it the other way. So those things are necessary, right? But I think you have to have kind of a more clear-eyed view of what it takes to bend that thing and where you want to bend it. And there were. How old is your son now?

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5297.831

Can I ask you a question? And this is a personal question. I don't want you to be upset with me. Does he forgive me?

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5329.977

In SummerSlam. And it was a match between Rollins and Cena. Yeah. Cena was going to win his record championship. And I was the swerve. I jumped in.

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Boy, did I take a giant bump on that. That was, that might've been the dumbest move I think I've made. And I was not, when I took the bump, I was not a young man. I think I was probably like 53, four or five, like, I was an old man taking an attitude adjustment from John Cena, which was stupid.

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Here's the thing where James always has a problem. I do freelance. I do go rogue and I do shit. And then he'll just hear about it. And he'll be like, what are you doing? And I'll be like, oh, it's just a, I got into a feud with this wrestler, Seth Rollins. You know, Nate loves wrestling. So we've been going to the wrestling matches and all that. Don't worry, it'll be fine.

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Oh yeah, no, they want me to do SummerSlam. He's like, what? I was like, yeah, no, it's this thing. I'll go, it'll be fine. And so at SummerSlam, Well, it's actually on Raw where I took the bump. SummerSlam is where I ruined the match for Bill Simmons' child, who I didn't think would forgive me.

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So you had no idea. Uh, I think here, here's what he said. Uh, just tuck your, uh, tuck your chin, tuck your head, your chin, and I'll do the rest. And I was like, okay. And then, yeah. So you got to, Okay. This so that I guess your head's not out. So you really, I think it's to protect you from like, really, because I don't know, you know, like the floor of the wrestling ring is not soft. Yeah.

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It's, it's hard. It's on springs, but it's hard. It still hurts. like a motherfucker. Uh, so when we did it now, to be fair, WWE was very thorough in their medical examination prior to me taking the bump, uh, about five minutes before I was supposed to go out there, a guy walks in, he goes, I'm the doctor. I go, okay. And he goes, how you feeling? I go, I'm okay. And he goes, okay. Any problems?

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Do you have the bones of a sparrow? Here, let's get you out there right now. So I went out there and I'm up on Cena, who's gigantic and muscular. And there's no like, oh, let me drop you down with the attitude adjustment. It was the full... I hit and the electricity went from directly from the back of my head down into my coccyx and through my legs.

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the whole thing. And they're like, just play it like you're hurt. And I'm like, I can do that. Yeah. Cause I'm fucking hurt.

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Uh, but the one thing I really learned through the experiences, if you're going to do something like that, uh, tuck, tuck your shirt in because when you go down on an attitude adjustment on live television and you got that big old white tuna belly, uh,

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so I can't, I've got, uh, it's a holiday week. I've got some shit I got to do, but, uh, I'm hoping to get there next week. Yeah. And, uh, look, man, I've loved watching this team. I really do. It's the most talented Nick team that I've seen them have in a really long time. Maybe since I've been really paying attention, except in the seventies. And, uh,

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What I also like about them is they're good dudes. They're just easy to root for. They're hardworking. There's not a lot of like, look at me shit. They're a fun, incredible group. This has been a ride that you dream about a little bit. It'd be great to get to the finals, but man, Indiana's a wagon. It's going to be hard. But, you know, they're not out of it.

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And before overtime, even like we're playing the Pacers style right now. And I don't know if we can survive that. Yeah. I don't know if we can survive that.

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uh, I saw, uh, Tony fight Dempsey. I saw Tony fight Dempsey in the garden 19. And that was the only time I ever thought, uh, same, same kind of thing.

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It is stunning how influential they were. And are. And are through broadcasting. More dog now. I think Francesco doesn't do a ton.

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The first take and all those other ones I think are in many ways direct. Sons of those shows. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Those guys were, and when they came on the air, the fan was nascent. Like it wasn't as big a deal. You had Stevie Summers, you know, at night doing all his stuff and Dog and Francesa.

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And like, it lit up sports in a way that, you know, for New Yorkers was like this, you know, and now everybody does kind of their impression of that. Right. but it's amazing. And to see, especially dog, like still going strong. It's kind of great. No, he's a long career.

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The problem I have now sometimes with the fan is a lot of the voices sound the same. Like the nice thing about Dog and Francesa is they were like Hall and Oates. Like one guy sang high blues and the other guy and every now and again. So that treble and bass really worked. Now you get shows that are like treble, treble. And you don't know who's talking and they're all at the same pitch.

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And it's just... kind of cacophony. And like you say, pretty performative, pretty obviously takes with like kind of holes in them. Still fun to listen to, but you know, but we're also old heads. We're old heads.

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He's so legitimately funny that I think that translates through it. And the way that he just runs through, you know, the whole like, I'm going to go take a gummy.

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And I watch it. I'm going to watch the Yankees. You know, he just, he legitimately is just an entertaining personality.

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But the nice part about them is they were a hot take. in a sea of like lukewarm water. So it's so brutal. Yeah. It's so stood out for just, it's, as we said earlier, like there was an authenticity to it. These two guys, uh, and, and just, it was brilliant.

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I've always loved it. You know, those guys, you know, and again, like sometimes duos really are more than the sum of their parts. Like those guys are great on their own, but like dog and Francesa were together.

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It's like a fascinating David is doing dog. He's doing dog. Yeah, he was there last night.

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You're bigger than he is. By the way, when Towns was posting up on Drew Holiday, what? Why would the Celtics put Drew Holiday on Towns?

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Yeah. I was just like, what's going on here? Because every now and again, like you'll see a bad switch and like somebody will end up on Towns who's like 6'3".

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You don't remember the first year of Francisco Lindor. You don't remember the first year of Carlos Beltran. You don't remember. And by the way, you don't remember the first four years of Jason Bay. People come in there. First of all, Juan Soto right now is not He's not all-star Juan Soto, but he's still a very solid performer in a lineup that's underperformed recently.

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But you're not talking about the emotions. He's played a much better outfield than I think people thought he was going to play. And I'm not going to read the facial expressions of a superstar that's going to be here for 15 years. Who already seems sad? Yeah, like I didn't, I never thought of him as like the happy warrior to begin with.

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Like I didn't bring him over here because I, you know, get excited about it because I thought he was super entertaining and gregarious.

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But we're always worried about everything. Again, you're talking about a fan base that like, Whatever will go wrong, whatever could go wrong, goes wrong. Tyrese Halliburton throws up a fucking prayer. It hits the back of the rim, goes straight up in the air. And in any other universe other than the New York Knicks universe, it goes over the backboard. Right.

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I've never seen anything like it. For God's sakes, the little stat track said the Knicks said 99.8%. They're going to like only in New York. New York Mets are going to go to the thing. Ioannis Cespedes breaks his ankle riding a bull. Like only shit that can happen happens to us. And over time, you expect it. So...

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You know, that's what they've done with the Mets is already fighting the gravity of our history. What Cohen has been able to do with them, what Stearns has been able to do with them is to counteract the gravity of our history in a way that looks like we might actually be competitive for years. That's never been the case.

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you also built a farm system that started to bring up studs. Yeah. Like that's the key. Like the Mets, even before when Cohen was there, they were still doing shit like, all right, well, we want to be good. Who are the oldest pitchers we can pay? Find me two of the oldest pitchers and pay them more than anybody's ever gotten. And maybe they'll, you know, make us good for six months.

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Now they've taken, Stearns has come in and completely flipped the approach. He's building a ground up, solid infrastructure. Will you win the World Series? Who fucking knows? The World Series is, it's a crapshoot and the Dodgers are going to be there for a while and the Yankees are going to be there. And, but they're at least giving you something.

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Thank you. That's all you can hope for. And that's what Leon Rose and Thibodeau have done for the Knicks. It's much harder to keep going in the NBA, but, you know, because I don't know how you feel about this, but I feel like the NBA cap rules and all that other shit suck.

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How are we not able to pay Hartenstein what we wanted to pay him? That makes no sense. We wanted to keep that dude. I know. And we couldn't.

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And if they had been able to keep him, my guess is they probably. They don't do the towns. Yeah. They would have run it back, still would have gotten bridges, and then you would be a deeper team. Yes. I loved how when they were deeper. I like that. Like, Indiana's built really well. They really are. And this is interesting, too. I wonder what you think about this.

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This is such a repudiation of, like, the super team. Like, these are great teams, but these aren't superstar teams. Right. Other than, like, OKC's got Shea. You know why?

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Right. But even the Celtics, like imagine having Tatum and, and Brown and then like having to worry about holding your team together. Like teams shouldn't have to worry about holding together like that. That's bullshit. You're preaching to the choir.

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This is the power of the playoffs. This is how it goes. This is the elation, the joy of each victory with the knowing knowledge of you're about to be emotionally thrown over a cliff. And it's... Fuck, man.

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His history is – so, listen, I've thrown him down on Mets, Giants, Rangers, and – and the Knicks. So he's actually not faced the, like, like I was trying to explain him, like, this is not even the most catastrophic loss that we've faced in the playoffs at the hands of the Pacers. Like this isn't even, you know, you, you've got to understand like the nineties was just this.

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Cause we were good in the night. The Knicks were really good in the nineties, but just could never overcome either, you know, Jordan's greatness or, or, Hakeem. Olajuwon's greatness or just Reggie Miller's pain in the acidness or, you know, but we faced the Pacers like six times. Yeah. In the night, seven times and lost in like crazy ways. Yeah.

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It's nice to see you again. The book is called American Grown. Look at this. You, as first lady, everybody has an issue. And you decided, I'm going to take on this idea of getting children to eat well. Wouldn't you have been more successful with, let's say, colonization of Mars? As a parent of two children, unless this garden sprouts cheeseburgers, What gave you the idea to do this?

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Can I just very quickly? Kids, if you're at home right now... Daddy says you can beat that. Daddy knows... You're not average, kids. I want to see 10 hours from you today. My kids can do it. They can make it. No! They can... Oh, did I get that wrong? No, no. Oh, I have it backwards. Go the other way around.

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Yeah. Well, we used to... You know, in the old days, they opened the back door, you went out, and you ran. But it is a different world.

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You know, it is... Absolutely. You know, you're trying to feed four people. You've got a dollar man who's got a lot of good food on him.

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It's very difficult. Is this, for you, more of a symbolic idea that they start to understand?

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The phrase, vegetable feast.

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And we've had kids... Is there a cheese faucet for this vegetable feast?

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Or the ones in the bag that you boiled, but they were filled with that crazy yellow sauce. That they said is like a butterish substance.

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Engage your children.

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Do not leave them outside. You, as First Lady, you have an approval rating of, like, 85%, 90%. Like, it's through the roof. You're...

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But it is. Your approval rating is like your ice cream. Your husband's approval rating, it's like astronaut ice cream. It's vegetables. My point is, forget about politics. Forget about any of that. In just marital relationship, in just arguing, how do you not use that? And wield it. If I had an 80% approval rating and my wife was at 50%, I'd be like, really? We're going to a French restaurant?

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Have you seen him change in his decision-making as it goes along? As it's gotten, you know, as the gravity of it has resisted, did it start out more dartboard-ish and then move? You know, what's... Right, exactly. Exactly.

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Are you telling... Because I... What? I didn't know that. I was not... I have not been following this. Let me ask you this, though. Are there people in the White House that you go, like, I could do that guy's job, though?

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What about, like, a... I'm just gonna throw it in. Biden, kind of, Joe. Anybody... You ever think, like, well, okay.

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Ah, I love Joe, too. Is it hard, though, to raise a kid around Biden? Because I would assume... That there's a lot of, like, Joe language. Or, like, he's like the uncle that comes over and like, oh, you brought them guns. Like, you know, that kind of thing. Like, is he, is that tough? No. No, he's... All right.

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When did the Taliban come to Swat Valley? Because before then, you describe it as a paradise of sorts.

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Oh, that's nice.

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Has he always been the same? You know, we're reading all these stories now about your husband as in high school and in college. And, you know, when you met him... What was he doing? What was... Because this... You're a little like, what is that, the script of a Cheech and Chong movie? What the hell is going on?

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But then when you met him, did you put the kibosh, or had he already, like, sewn those and was done?

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You know, this president, George W. Bush, sort of went through his times where he was a little bit out there. I really related to that. It's the turnaround. That's the part where I was like, oh.

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Don't worry, it's organic. You did very well. You did very well. I see what this man sees in you. You're very good. American Grown is on the bookshelves now. You're just saying. Eat a little healthier, get out there. It's not a dictate. And plant a garden. And plant a garden. You know, it's a good way to start. That would be very nice. First Lady Michelle Obama. Thank you so much for coming on.

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tonight. She is the president of Planned Parenthood and president of Planned Parenthood Action Fund. Please welcome to the program Cecile Richards. How are you? Fantastic. You know, I've been watching the news recently. Yeah. There is a tremendous discussion going on in this country right now on women's health issues, contraception, mainly amongst, I guess you'd call them, penis Americans.

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So we thought, why not bring in someone without a penis? to discuss how it affects the people that it actually are being talked about.

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Let me say this.

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You're welcome. No, has that been odd to watch?

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You mean religious liberty.

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Are you... Does this put, you know... What is this? Do you fear that you are going back into a place where we have to have the contraception conversation all over again, that that was a battle that was fought?

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No, the 60s and 70s it was an issue. I mean, wasn't that when Griswold was decided?

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And now I guess what they're saying is the interesting thing to me is how it's been changed to be an issue about women wanting someone to pay for them to have sex or money coming out of other people's pockets so that women can have sex. It strikes me as a very interesting direction to take the conversation.

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The caricature of Planned Parenthood and the one that I think is this idea of an abortion factory where it's the idea is that's how you make your money. and you're going to set up a drive-through, and there's no thoughtfulness, there's no morality to it. It is, you know, that is the type of evil place that it is. What's the reality of the place? What's the mandate?

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What would be something that you think maybe your critics would be very surprised to know about?

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On different people, I mean that. Obviously, that wouldn't be right to do to one person.

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What do you think, if Planned Parenthood was one of those things that was put to a vote in America, I get the sense that it would be a pretty popular place. In local communities, it seems like people understand it better than they do on the national stage.

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You describe in the book still no matter what they they took the signs off of schools they uh they went underground but they continued in the face of you spoke out publicly against the taliban what gave you the courage to continue this you know

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Who would you be running against again?

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When did you realize the Taliban had made you a target?

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Welcome back. My guest tonight, she's an advocate for girls' access to education worldwide, is the youngest person ever to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Her new book is called I Am Malala, The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban. Please welcome to the program Malala Yousafzai. Nice to see you. Thank you for being here.

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You know, I know your father is backstage, and he's very proud of you, but would he be mad if I adopted you? Because you sure are swell. We are back. We're talking to Malala. The book I Am Malala is on shelves right now. Your love of school reminds me so much of my children. OK, maybe not. The people of Swat Valley, when the Talib first came, they thought they're bringing order.

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They're bringing services. They established a court that was faster than Pakistani courts. And the people responded. When did that begin to turn?

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What? Wait, whoa, wait. What? What? What? Wait. You know... Malala... This was going so well. You were doing so beautifully. And then suddenly, bam! It's, this is the part that they, they began to say you cannot dance. Yeah. You cannot, the women cannot do these things. You say that many people believe this is a wrong interpretation of Islam, of the Quran.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Interviews Trailblazing Women

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Do you, why have the Taliban and these more extreme groups been able to be successful? Is it the fear that they bring? to these towns? Do they, is that why the people have had a hard time throwing it off?

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Malala, I'm from New Jersey. So I know a little something about paradise. The beaches. It does. It sounds magnificent. And it is heartbreaking because you see what these children want and what these people want is to just live in peace without having this imposed on them. And I think we don't know what to do to help. There are passages in the book about the United States. And we come out great.

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But there is, you know, there are attacks in SWAT and in those areas with drones. And they talk about a man, a CIA agent, who shot two men in Lahore, Raymond Davis. And this is... I think we have a common want and desire, but perhaps are not accomplishing it in the manner that shows the people how we feel. But in some ways, we don't know what else to do. What is your thought on that?

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Interviews Trailblazing Women

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It is an honor for us. I know me. This is... By the way, we talked a little bit before the show. Nothing feels better than making you laugh. I will say that. I enjoyed that very much. I am Malala. It's honestly humbling to meet you. You're 16. Where did your love for education come from?

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Interviews Trailblazing Women

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I am humbled to speak with you. I will say this. I don't know where you come from, but I am very glad you're here. Thank you for being here today. Please get the book, donate to the Malala Fund by visiting www.malalafund.org. Malala Yousafzai.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Oh, my God, the robots have no magnets. How will they hang up children's drawings on refrigerators? They're magnetless. And we could have stockpiled magnets and rare earth materials like Japan did in a spat with China. But why bother preparing for a war that you yourself are launching? And really, how important are magnets anyway?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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So, we have the end of the magnets, the beginning of the magnets. Does it really matter? And we're in this position because we've been sold this idea of Trump as the master. The art of the deal. Only he can bring these nations to heel.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Here's how you know. 200 deals? There's only like 180 countries. Unless he's making a deal. It's true. You can't. Unless he's making a deal with Trinidad and Tobago separately. All right, Turks, you're settled. No, no, Caicos, not the fans. Back of the line, Caicos. Trump is not only not the best negotiator, he's maybe the worst negotiator.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And it makes sense when you listen to him talking about how he thinks of our economic negotiations.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Right! Why in God's name would you use a brick and mortar department store for your metaphor on our economic revitalization? I think of America as a tower records. I, the president, put the CDs on the rack and I priced them. If you want to listen to Bloodhound Gang, where else are you going to go? There's nowhere else to go. Or maybe that's just how capitalism works.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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The American president sets the prices and decides who's allowed to come into the store. And then other nations come back in six months, and the whole country is a spirit Halloween. What is he doing? But his negotiating skills aren't the real danger to this country. What's going to us up? is his obsession with the concept of the leverage that he has.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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I was kidding! Imagine me with a white beard. But yes, tomorrow is officially the 100th day of Donald Trump's second first term. And you will be very pleased to hear it is going incredibly well.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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That's the key misunderstanding here. Trump is so arrogant. He thinks the leverage is his. It's ours. We the people. And it took us 200. It's not your leverage. Why would you even think it is? It took the people 250 years of striving to live up to a constitutional republic and rule of law, painstaking equity that you are squandering. That is the crux of American exceptionalism.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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You just want to make us great. That's a downgrade. Our brand is not strategic uncertainty. And you are not the keeper of our pot of gold. You are a temporary leprechaun. And the more enamored... The more enamored, President Trump, you are with your authoritarian whims, the more that you turn our shining city on a hill into just another ordinary, despot-led, sea-level shithole.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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So if I could just put this... If I could just put this in negotiating terms you can understand, all caps, DONALD... When we come back, Chris Hughes will be joining me. Don't go away. Everybody, welcome to The Daily Show. My guest tonight, an economist, an author. Also, by the way, one of the co-founders of Facebook.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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His new book is called Market Crafters, The 100-Year Struggle to Shape the American Economy. Please welcome to the program, Chris Hughes. Sir! Sir! Boy, the book is called Market Crafters. I don't even know where they're going to pull that up there, but it's fantastic. Just give us a quick off the top. What do you mean by market crafting? It's not an Etsy. What are we talking about here?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Sir, I have to stop you right there. Are you suggesting that the American economy is not the free market capitalist nirvana that we have been told?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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We've been out of magnets. It's true. But you go back. It begins in the New Deal. The story begins with a great lesson of how individuals, just this one gentleman hired by Roosevelt, created the housing market. In America.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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In some ways, won us World War II. The reason why I think this book is so timely, but also so crucial, That fiction that government doesn't pick winners and losers has always been used when government is being asked to enlist aid for people. Right. When it's asked to intervene on the side of people. Right. Politicians, that's socialism. Medicare, it's all socialism. You can't do that.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Suck it, Jefferson. Suck it, Lincoln. Suck it, Roosevelt's squared. Trump's first hundred days, the most successful in American history. It would be like if America landed on the moon and killed Bin Laden in the same mission. Thought you could hide on the moon, Bin Laden? Get him, boys. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Did you know people make that noise when they move on the moon?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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That's not capitalism. Exactly. Bullshit.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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People and not necessarily. And it's interesting how once they're involved in the levers of power, even the libertarian class become apostles to this new theory, this gentleman, Simon.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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He was just... You can tell that in the archive?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Right. Now, so, fast-forward to today. Certainly, Trump has been incredibly impactful on the market. But you use the word planning. I thought planning was a very interesting word to use. Because there appears to be very, you know, the strategic petroleum reserve. Why don't we have that for rare earth metals before we launch a trade war? Yeah.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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This doesn't sound like market crafting in the way that you understand it. It sounds like dart throwing.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Most talented, most talented negotiator. Is this a situation where how do you pull out of something that has already left the station? Can you do you know of any instances where market crafting was done, not in response to an exterior crisis, but to one of our own creation? 2008 comes to mind because.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Again, it was that sense of like Alan Greenspan saying, I'm sure the banks can regulate themselves. What could go wrong? And going south, is this an instance where an intervention could take place that could remediate or help ease the crisis that we find ourselves in now.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Why do they, in those situations, though, always, even the debate over whether or not to save Lehman or do what they did with Stearns, Bear Stearns, and save those guys, or dump a shit ton of liquidity and capital into AIG, but they did it all at the corporate level.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Why is there no policy wedge to do the same thing for all the homeowners who got foreclosed on, not because of the terrible doings of... Lehman and Bear Stearns and AIG.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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According to Trump, the most successful 100 days in the history of our country. Can anyone offer a counterpoint?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Or even brought their mortgages up to sea level so that... There wasn't this default crisis.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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But this, to me, this is Project, and I'm going to get the years wrong, I'm sure, 2029 for Democrats. There is no reason why Republicans and Democrats now agree that the state can intervene on behalf of capitalism. Or shape. Or shape it. We're negotiating now what to do it for.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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The Democrat plan should be market crafting for the real needs of people through child care, elder care, education, health care.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And then they have the nerve to make us want to celebrate being able to negotiate the price of 10 drugs. Like, it's insane to me that we haven't created that market craft in pharmaceuticals.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And it also, to the utter antithesis of everything that you lay out in this book over these last 100 years, there is no infrastructure behind this. It is an economic policy by fiat, by whim. And it is, I'm going to raise them 130% today on the tariffs. But there's nothing No strategy underlying it.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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All of their factories they're gonna move them out of China and you think oh my god the tariffs have worked and then they're like to India They're not moving them here. So yeah, this is a shell game that corporations they'll wait this out and because there's nothing underlying it.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And this is kind of a really nice framework to start out there. I also have that. So you haven't obviously been a Facebook in a very long time, but I'm still sure you're probably a pretty keen observer of the technocrats and, you know, all the guys from that world. Has anything that has happened

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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since Trump took office surprised you in terms of the sort of libertarian, you know, the Mark Zuckerberg going, what do you want, $25 million? I'll never do anything again. Has there... obsequiousness surprised you in any way? Is there anything about what's happening in that world?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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So some of this is maybe they still they haven't proven their loyalty enough. I think he enjoys humiliating Zuckerberg. I think he thinks Google was working against him because Tim Cook and Apple got a great deal.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And there is, listen, Lena Kahn had fans on the right. J.D. Vance was a fan.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Over almost a dozen Republican senators voted for her confirmation. Yeah. So it's interesting. Thank you very much for being on. Thank you for having me. I've got to tell you.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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everybody. Alicia. That's our show for tonight. We're going to have full coverage all week of Trump's first 100 days. Jordan Klepper is going to handle tomorrow. Desi Lydic on Wednesday. Michael Kosta on Thursday. No skips. All bangers. That's a music term I learned yesterday.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Suck it, Herbert Hoover. Donald Trump's ratings are 11 points underwater. He doesn't care. He's not afraid of being underwater because he's equipped with a flotation unit protective... A flotation unit protective accessory, or FUPA. He has a FUPA. Look it up.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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I had to be told what that is. But I hate to break the bad news to Donald Trump. His lowered approval rating triggers the Chuck Schumer fight instinct.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Yes! He's below 40 now. You've got him right where you want him. Finish him, Schumer! Trump is going after free speech in universities. How will you destroy Trump now that he's below 40%?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Question one. Why is this university different from all other universities? Wait, that's the wrong book. Hold on. So while we wait for those strongly worded questions to work their magic, let's take a look at why so many people might be unhappy with Trump's performance. It might have something to do with the gap between what Trump promised and what he's delivered. For instance, the economy.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Unfortunately, I do think it's pretty clear that on the economy, Donald Trump did make a boom-boom. A little boom-boom. Or did Trump go boom, boom? Perhaps Trump feels so positive because while the economy is headed south for most people, there have been some winners.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Honestly, like, no, the guy's making billions and billions of dollars. But seriously, $40 million for a documentary about Melania Trump. No offense, I'm sure she's a very interesting person. But PBS made the entirety of the Ken Burns Civil War series for $3.5 million. Shoah, Shoah was $3 million. I think, obviously, they wanted four, but they still got a good price.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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The entirety of the Planet Earth series, 11 episodes, was less than that. $25 million. And I know Melania is a mysterious and private woman, but I guarantee you don't have to wait outside her house for weeks at a time hoping to catch a rare nocturnal feeding on a striped South American toad. $40 million? So Trump is personally doing great in this economy. What about immigration?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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He made a lot of promises there, too.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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So many of them. It's like that Timothee Chalamet lookalike event. But for Hannibal Lecter's... By the way... Wouldn't massing a bunch of Hannibal Lecters around the border be a solution for immigration? There was a line here yesterday. Now it's just shoes and empty Chianti bottles. I don't... So are we taking out the Lecters?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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What? That's who we're deporting? A kid with cancer? Trump really doesn't understand how the Make-A-Wish Foundation works, does he? The cancer kid is the one who gets the wish, Trump. Oh, I'm sorry. The audience will go with you on a lot. But there are certain moments where I feel their physical pain. So that's not working out. What about religion?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Yes! Christianity! Bigger! Longer! Uncut! So I'm told. But fine, how's that promise going? J.D.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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J.D. Vance, don't you understand how make a wish work? Jessica Diane Vance, what did you do to this man? This pope had literally touched lepers. He drank sewage water in slums and survived all of it. Ten minutes. Ten minutes talking with J.D. Vance. And the pope is like, God, check, please. God. God. I can't. I can't do it. Get me. Get me out. I've been celibate 88 years.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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This is the longest 10 minutes of my life. Even areas that Trump promised slam-dunk progress have abjectly failed.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Yeah, listen. It's officially been 100 days of Donald Trump. I'm so tired. It's aging this nation in Tom Hanks' castaway years. But it is The Daily Show. I'm Jon Stewart. Tonight, we're kicking off a week-long coverage of Donald Trump's first 100... Let's call them days. Let's get into it.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Why are you giving away the secret plan? That's the kind of top secret classified strategy you only divulge on signal group chats. I'll talk to one, I'll talk to the other. But clearly, Wade, clearly, 24 hours has passed and no end. So what happened?

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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I'm going to end the war in Ukraine on day one. Is this thing on? By the way, I'm a little shocked Trump couldn't get it done, given his Solomon-like peace plan.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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So let me just try and absorb the specifics of it. I'm just trying to. So Russia, who invaded a sovereign nation, gets everything that they wanted. And in return, Ukraine gets to give it to them. Yeah. I'm obviously not a master negotiator, but I think I could have delivered that plan. Here's the kicker.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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After saying to Russia, well, what if we divide it where you get everything, Putin just kept f***ing bombing. And Trump is now reduced from the world's greatest negotiator to, oh, come on.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Stop! It's in all caps, Vladdy. The commander in chief of the world's most powerful army, with the nuclear briefcase on one side, the direct red phone to Moscow on the other, decided the best way to demonstrate the seriousness in which he took this heinous bombing was to open off-brand Twitter and all caps... Concerned face, concerned face, bicep party hat, eggplant skull skull.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And you'd be surprised to know that stop didn't work. Because Vladimir Putin is not a golden doodle. He is apparently a furry. But maybe it's not fair to judge Trump's negotiating skills based on the Ukraine war. He didn't start that war. We all know Ukraine did, by wearing that province. You knew what you were doing, Ukraine, when you sashayed your pretty little Donbass all around the Black Sea.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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The real measure of Trump's first 100 days is the shrewdness he showed in the war he did start. My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day. Liberation Day! It was a devastating sneak attack launched from the Rose Garden. Fortunately, the country he snuck up on was ours. Tariff chaos, markets in free fall.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And apparently plunging our nation into this dark economic abyss is all part of the plan.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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Right, right, right, right, right. But I'm pretty sure in game theory, you are supposed to tell the person on your side. on your side, where they're going to end up so they don't freak the f*** out. Or maybe it's all bullshit. And Trump launched a trade war without any of the pre-planning and preparation that needed to be done.

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Jon on Trump's First 100 Days: Destroying America's Reputation, Economy, and Leverage

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And Besant has to go along with it because he's in the service of an impulsive man-baby that you have to lie to so he doesn't turn his virus of vindictiveness onto you. How did you not know that other countries weren't going to fight back? Did you miss that page in The Art of War? Spoiler alert, it's on page one.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Trump's using the almost absolute power we have constitutionally granted him and the Republicans, because this is Trump's theory in governance. He's already laid it out to not President Bush in 2005, back when he was still accessing Hollywood. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. That's his governing philosophy for all of it.

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Appointing people, firing people, writing executive orders, taking Greenland, making Wikipedia-like edits to the literal globe. But unfortunately, as of now, he's pretty much just democratically grabbing our pussy. Yeah, yeah, we said yeah. He has the consent of the people. For God's sakes, his deportation orders are so popular, they have collabs.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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How do you know me? You've been in one thing. How do you know I'm Dr. Phil? Because you're on the Dr. Phil show. You're Dr. Phil. How do you know me? Oh, weren't you in Goodfellas? No, you're Dr. Phil.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Little bald mustache, southern drawl. How do you know me? I guess Dr. Phil finally cashed someone outside. How about that?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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We're almost done. Look, the Trump administration was clearly ready for this. It was almost as though they had some project for what they might do in 2025. And they're so emboldened, they're not even stopping on American shores.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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He's so emboldened, he wants to start deporting people from other people's countries. Meanwhile, Dr. Phil will be down in Gaza. How do you know me? How do you know me, sir? Habibi, I don't have a television. I don't know you. I don't know Habibi. Look, I really hope the Democrats figure out a way to contain this guy. The question is probably not, how dare he, though?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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But then we had a weekend. Serenity now. And we can finally catch our breath, begin to move forward with intentionality.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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The question should be, what are you learning from this? How would you use this power? What's your contract with America? Democrats exist outside of him. Tell people what you would do with the power that Trump is wielding. And then convince us to give that power to you.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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If you don't have any of the answers, maybe AI has a solution for you. Hey, Siri, what can Democrats do to stop Trump?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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My guest tonight, you're going to like this, a formerly incarcerated firefighter who is now the CEO and co-founder of the Forestry and Fire Recruitment Program, also the subject of the forthcoming documentary, Firebreak.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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You know, a lot of times we get economists on the show, judges, very rarely do they go, come on, people! It's so nice to see you and so nice to meet you. When I heard the story, not even just your story, but just the general story of incarcerated firefighters that were... I was very surprised. And... I'll run the thoughts that were going through my head and I'll have you speak to them.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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One was, oh my God, the bravery that these folks who don't have their own liberty are showing on our behalf is astonishing. Number two, I bet they're paying them shit. And is this indentured servitude? And is this being coerced? And then number three was, if I wanted to escape from prison, I would light a fire. How do they keep them from not running away in the middle of the fire?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And then everybody being like, where's Slim Pete? And then they're like. So run this through. I mean, you were in this program. What is this? Why did you get into it? What made you get into the firefighting program from prison?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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A dollar an hour on fires is the most money.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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So here's where it's going to get... Here's where it gets ugly for liberals, right? Because the liberal reaction is... Exploit the incarcerated... But in prison... It's so bad that this is great. Is that it?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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What the f***? I was promised a new era. of American prosperity and greatness will happen.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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So, I mean, in some ways it's a new model of rehabilitation. You know, I was reading that the recidivism rate generally is pretty high, 50 percent, sometimes 60 percent. The recidivism rate on those who have been inducted into this program is less than 10 percent. Is that correct? I know that from my program. Right. But that's amazing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And when you're in fire camp... In prisons, it's very segregated to a white gang, a Hispanic gang, a black gang. Absolutely. And firefighting, none of that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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It's amazing. Did you... You know... Did you not believe that you could do it? Is the idea that... People in that environment have been so lack the network and confidence and competence that that goes along with things that this is a revelation for themselves that I'm I'm worthy. I'm actually worthy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Your organization tries to take that training because you're not if you go through the prison program, are you certified to fight fires at that point in California?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Even though they've already put you in fires, you're already doing the job. Right. But they're saying to you, yes, you can fight the fires. but you're not qualified to fight the fires.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And I love how diplomatic you're being.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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What would you do in this situation?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Who would have expected the Chinese to do it cheaper? I can't believe it. It's as though when you don't have labor laws or f***ing rights. And by the way, deep seek? Deep seek? We're getting our asses kicked by deep seek? Who names an AI company after the thing it actually does? Where are your random letters? Where's your GPT, your grok? DeepSeek sounds like what you might use it for.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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For the prisoners, how do they view that bargain? That bargain of, look, they are... The state exploits prison labor. I mean, I think that's just straight down the line. Common fact. Common fact. Yeah, that's a common fact. And the penalties on felony makes it almost impossible for people to reintegrate into... Like, our prison system, as, you know, as you have experienced... Right, right, right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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...is... And obviously, I'm not a sociologist or anything, but I think the word is f***. I love you, man. I love you, John. But it is true. So how do they console each other in that? How do you guys talk to each other about what this opportunity means and what the system is doing to you guys while that's all happening?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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You thought you had gotten into a program.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Well, like, you were going to make s'mores, right?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I got to tell you, in that story when you were going there, I really thought you were going to be like, he pulled me aside and he said, I like you, son. You've really got something. I can't believe he pulled you aside and he's just like, what the, man? Get off you. Right, right. How long did it take you to acclimate to this? And how long was the training?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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So you guys are wildland... Firefighters. Certified firefighters. And very different from, like, what L.A. County urban fire, residential fire. So your role in this is more in those areas where maybe the chaparral is or where the wilderness stuff is. Is that generally where the incarcerated guys...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And these are necessary jobs that they do have trouble finding candidates for and people for. You know, it's been so interesting, and I wonder how you sort of process this in your head, but this idea of, like, DEI, like, oh, the Los Angeles fire only happened because she's a lesbian. Like...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Right, right, right. Because you knew... That generally those jobs are, you know, connections play a large part in them, and it's relatively homogenous in those areas. Right, right, right. And it was going to be tough to break through.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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It's incredibly impressive. And maybe what's the most impressive thing about it is that you took that knowledge and you took that experience and you have created this organization to make sure that you keep the ladder down for people, the fire ladder, to help other people up. And I love that prison to public service road because so often in this country, it's public service to prison.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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China's even beating us at naming shit. By the way, I do know this is bad news financially. But is anyone else somewhat excited that AI had its job replaced by AI? That's something. But listen, man, this is a minor setback. We will bounce back. Russia had Sputnik, and it spurred us on to land on the moon. I'm sure it's not going to be that bad. Has Chinese AI put American AI out of a job?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Hey, that's our show for tonight. But as always, before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Michael Kosta. Michael, what do you got for us for the rest of the week? Michael Kosta.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Well, at least we have some closure. Check out Michael Kosta this week. Here it is. Your moment is that.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I mean... I'll find out. Siri, how bad is it? John, check out my OnlyFans. No! Send me a link. But enough about the apparently tenuous underpinning of everything we've banked our entire future economy on. What's the news freaking out about closer to home? Friday night massacre. Late Friday night purge. A chilling purge.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I, for one, will take full advantage by doing some unpermitted lawn work. Your God is powerless. Although, just in case I'm misinterpreting, what is this purge about exactly?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I have no idea. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break the illusion? You know, here's the nice thing. You don't know if that's the axe or my desk. Which one is fake? I'll never tell.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Who knows how many generals will now go uninspected. Democrats, inspire my anger in the least charismatic way possible.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal government's independent watchdogs is a glaring sign that it's a golden age that... And Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal government's independent watchdogs is a glaring sign that it's a golden age for abuse in government and even corruption.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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He started again, right? He said it twice? Like, no recognition, just started again. Is that what happened? Normally, humans in that scenario would go, oh, God, I'm sorry. Where was I? Let me take that from the top, and maybe this time I'll look up. Can you legally just restart without acknowledgement? Is Schumer AI? Is he deep seek?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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But regardless of how slowly NPC Chuck Schumer laid it out, what Trump did violated the law.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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What? I'm sorry, what? Oh, apparently you can fire them, but you have to give them 30 days notice. Oh, so that's what we're upset about? No! You can do it, but not in that font! That's Hitler's font! But this is the cycle we find ourselves in. First law of Trumpodynamics. Every action is met with a very not equal overreaction.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Thus throwing off our ability to know when shit is actually getting real. Like last week's pardons. These pardons are sick.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I knew I should have taken that class. And not majored in submissive liberal crying 101. Do what you will, Trumpieski. Was it shitty? Yes. Should you have let some of those terrible people? No! Is it an abuse of pardon power? I don't f***ing know. But that is his constitutional power. Again, for some reason, we have given presidents the power of a king.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And then we say, oh, by the way, with that power, you're not going to get all, like, kingly and shit on us, right? To put that in constitutional terms, if I could, don't hate the player. Hate the founding fathers. That's not... Why do we even have it? Because I don't know if you've met Donald Trump. He pushes shit.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Shredding our Constitution. Who wants to be a strongman authoritarian? Birthright citizenship was very specifically tailored to send a message to people that America was a place, an idea. It wasn't for one race. It wasn't for one gender. Citizenship in America was based on where you were, not who you were. And to just stroke of a pen, finally I agree. That is authoritarian.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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It was a dictatorship, and then the judge went... It's like when you have an electric fence. You never check it, and you're not really sure if it works. Because you have a good boy. You have a very good boy. But then one day, zap. By the way, I fundamentally disagree with the use of electric fences. It is true.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Really tearing through the bowl tonight, huh?

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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By the way, my dog's name is Tubbs.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Damn you, constitutionally enshrined judicial review of executive action and its relief through the appellate process. Look, we are facing a deluge of these executive actions, and certainly we must be prepared for those most vulnerable to the consequences of these actions. But the this is all fascist argument has become almost a reflex for the left.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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My name is Jon Stewart. We've got a show for you tonight. Our guest tonight, a formerly incarcerated firefighter, Royal Ramey, is going to be here to discuss his journey from prison firefighter to organizer. But first, I just want to very clearly say to you guys something. I found last week... Exhausting. The return to 1600 Trumplevania Avenue was as disorienting and chaotic as I imagined.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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scale of Mussolini to the Holocaust. You know, I would say it's not fascism. Do I not understand what fascism is? And also, if I may, and this may be petty, why are we asking someone who, at the end of January, still has his f***ing Christmas tree up? Why are we asking him anything? You know who used to leave their Christmas tree up all the time? Hitler.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Somebody in the audience literally jumped my Hitler joke. You know who used to do that, by the way? Pol Pot. Now, look, I have a lot of fear that as this term goes on, things are going to get a little fascisty. And we must be vigilant. But part of vigilance is discernment. Republicans control the House, the Senate, the executive, and the judiciary.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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And just about every move that has been made till this point, we have granted them electorally. It's our f***ing fault. And the constant... Yeah, it's just our fault. And... The constant drumbeat of encroaching fascism will erode the credibility we will need if, hopefully if, and not when, it hits.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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But the truth is that for now, his most objectionable actions have taken place almost entirely within our designed democratic system. Like the confirmation process. Despite claims of meritocracy, Trump has put forth some of the least LinkedIn people you could imagine. I don't know what responsible hiring process you can create that looks at this. I'm going to get another refill. Hold on.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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I feel good. You know, I've said a little bit of extra.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Who's that guy? I want him leading defense. And how did this individual, who has never so much as successfully managed a Waffle House pop-up, going to run the three million people Department of Defense? But he wasn't foisted upon us by a dictator. There was no authoritarian end run, no royal edicts. This shit happened to us as designed. Advise, but mostly consent.

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Jon Stewart on Dems' Accusations of Fascism, China's New A.I. | Royal Ramey

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Passed through the Armed Services Committee, put through a Senate vote. Three Republicans, of course, made a show of, this is the most outrageous, I cannot in good conscience, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. because they knew they could lose three. It was a performance. And J.D. Vance broke the tie democratically.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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You know where that would go viral? Social media. The one place the right will unequivocally protect free speech is the one place where the speech isn't actually free. Algorithms. It's speech incentivized for engagement and profit. It's manipulated. It just so happens that the same process that forces you to doom scroll somehow also draws you into Republican ideology.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Social media is a machine designed to stimulate the reptilian parts of your brain that would otherwise beg you to go out. It's like being impressed that casinos give out free food. It's not free. Social media isn't the town square open forum of ideas. It's got a plan.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I'll tell you what, we got a great one. Paul Rudd is going to join us. Paul Rudd finally had the balls to come on this show after weeks of calling me a propagandist. Know this, our interview will be unedited. Rudd's going down. It's happening. I'm going to give that dude an infection of the perineum. I should explain.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Now, Carol Smith is a completely fictional character, and yet her children have stopped talking to her. Although she was apparently added to a Pentagon group chat and knows the details about when they're bombing... Guys, social media isn't the same as free speech. Social media is free speech in the way that Doritos are food. It's ultra processed. It's designed in laboratories.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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It's the same mechanism that somehow convinced you that you should eat a 50 story skyscraper of potato ish. And the most disappointing thing, where are my conspiracy theorists at now that it's on the right? For God's sakes, billionaires are designing machines to manipulate our speech to control our behavior and rewire our brains.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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They're removing our regular speech and doing a, I don't know, great replacement of it to solidify their hold on power. Are you awake yet? Come on. You were with me on the lab leak thing. Remember what happened? Come on. You've barely even touched your Epstein binders. Doesn't this bother you at all?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Please stop with this foghorn, leghorn bullshit. He's got arms just the size of beach balls. But let me guess. How do you feel about other billionaires owning and manipulating our media?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Pass us all the motherf***ing sick buckets. When we come back, Paul Rudd will be joining us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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We come out early, I do a little warm-up with the audience, and for some unknown reason, and it really was not prompted, I was trying to discuss the relationship between asthma medication and a side effect of an infection of the perineum. Unfortunately, I have no one in the audience who was able to satisfy my curiosity on that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight, an actor. He stars in the new movie, Death of a Unicorn. Please welcome Paul Rudd!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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You know... Here's how beautifully you craft these bits. It took me a while to understand that that was an inflamed perineum. At first, if I may, the physical crafting you do and obviously the stage fighting classes you've taken and all the things, the control you have over your body, at first I thought, sciatica? It's clearly in the nether region. Yeah. It was the bowing of the legs.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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In many ways, isn't it? A delicate... Yeah. The bouquet. Yes. The aroma. Yes, yes. Did you know, in your life, first of all, the way you walk, it's the difference between just an actor and a craftsman.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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By the time you were done, my perineum hurt. That's how powerful it was.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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There is no way. Is that the one part of your body that is corroding? I think. Is that your Achilles perineum?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Those of you at home who may be looking it up right now, wait till the commercial break. But first, a quick update on an administration that is once again carrying out its plans with competence and professionalism.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I do hope you'll get that checked out.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Is there a painting in your attic about that you want to tell us about? The other thing that drives me crazy, they always say, and don't take it. Like, they've given you five reasons not to take this. I mean, you've got to be thinking to yourself, the accident was not that bad that I would risk my entire perineum. Would you rather have a little flaking on your arm?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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One kid at the beach, and he's like, on my elbow. And they're literally like, your balls will fall off, bud. So they go through that, and they think, like, oh, these five things will not have dissuaded you. The final one is always my favorite. And don't take it if you are allergic to it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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How would you know unless... Paul, I'm going to be honest with you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I didn't even know you still did movies. I just thought we just, I thought you were a WebMD doctor and I just brought you out here to talk strictly.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Strictly. Medicines. Medicines. Do you have I am I am at the point now where I like I'll read an article on biohacking and like and they'll be like, it's an injection of NAD and ultraviolet rays and you can't go outside for three months. And I'd be like, I would do that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Oh shit, you just got real. Oh.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I want to see how far this is going to go.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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It is a very interesting, you know, uh... Remember Anacin?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Looks like somebody lived in a nice neighborhood. I had St. Joseph's children's aspirin and I was 17 and had chlamydia.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Gorgeous. As Rihanna would say, shine like a diamond. You could eat off of that thing. And boy, did I try. We all tried. Can I tell you something? I've missed you. I've missed you, too. What? I haven't. I think the last time I... I see you every now and again at an event. Once I moved out of the city, once you move out of the city, for those urban sophisticates, you are a dead man.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I live out in New Jersey, and I would say to Paul Rudd... Hold on one second. Hard disagree.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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But I see you you are living now the dream that I sometimes think of like your Kansas City Chiefs to keep winning Super Bowls you're out there with your son on the field like celebrating that thing it's such a magical to our kids around the same age, so we're all there they're going through that they it's it's a big transition like do you feel the empty nest of it all like that's that's slowly starting to to dawn on.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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And I do feel... It's the whole... The thing for me, when I see someone whose kid is at that age where you can still do, like, the football hold. Right.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Yeah. It's a wild feeling when it washes over you, but it's also nice to, I guess, have them at that other, like, the conversations you can have with them. There's so much.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

2018.245

Yeah Fantastic great. Did you the one thing I didn't do and I probably should have done is make friends So They have to be there I own them mm-hmm but when they leave It's just me eating a Jersey Mike's by myself watching a game.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Look up for one second. I do this every time we're together. God, my life is f***ing horrible. Before I let you go, I want to show the audience something. I want everybody at home to look at this. Paul is older than I am. And if I go home right now, my guess is somebody has ruined my taint painting. You're tainting.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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He's got the movies, Death of a Unicorn. It's going to be in theaters everywhere. Friendship with Tim Robinson, who may be the funniest man. I laugh. He's amazing. Amazing. Tim Robinson. Tim Robinson, and you're in the movie Friendship, which will deal with the things that we were just talking about. Yeah. And then a movie about killing unicorns. Yeah.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Which we're not probably going to talk about that much. Fine. We haven't talked about any of this. How do you, when you get, because the movie, it's wild, and you'll love it, and Jenna Ortega's in it, and she's great, and the cast is insane. But I can't, when they pitch to you, they go, Paul, there's this movie we'd really love for you to be in it. You play a lawyer. Oh, what does the lawyer do?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Well, he's around murderous unicorns. And is that when you go, like, look, I was in Marvel.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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You know, back in my day, if you were a journalist who wanted leaked war documents, you had to work the sources, meet them in a dark garage, earn the trust, pound the pavement. Now, you just wait for the National Security Advisor to be distracted by White Lotus while he's setting up his Von Yemen group chat.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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That's the beauty of the improv. That's it? Well, it is always a pleasure, and I hope that I host one day a week for the next 20 years, and you come back to see us again.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Gather the unicorns! In theaters every week! In theaters! All right! We'll be right back. You know, I got...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Before we go, we're going to check in with yours for the rest of the week, Mr. Ronnie Chang.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Are those guys jerking each other off?

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Jesus, I'm sorry. Oh, for God's sakes. Ron, you just group-texted me your entire DNA sequence.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Ronny Chieng, everybody. Obviously, I'm going to shut my real phone off.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Oh, also, March 31st, next week, one week from today, maybe, Night of Too Many Stars at the Beacon Theater here in New York City. Live comedy event benefiting autism programs nationwide. If you are in town, please consider buying tickets at the link below. Join me and really too many stars. I can't even name them all.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Please join. Here it is. Your moment is in.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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By the way, I might be in this group chat. I don't know. I don't check my group chats. Perhaps my favorite text of the entire group chain was the one from our defense secretary saying, quote, we are currently clean on OPSEC. For those of you who don't know, OPSEC means operational security. He said that in a group chat. A group chat with a journalist.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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The journalist said that he didn't think that the story was real until Yemen was bombed. Oh, did I bring you down? Let's move on. Because as you know, there are certain hypocrisies and absurdities that we find in our cultural moment that make for great fodder for humorous dialogue, a facial expression, a nod and a wink.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Then there are other pronouncements by our elected officials, actions by our government that are so baldly bullshit. Even though you know it will have no effect and that these powerful creatures have been genetically modified to resist shame, self-reflection of any kind. You just can't help yourself but to go old school daily show. I'm talking about the debate on free speech.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Now, as we know, conservatives have been very concerned about the loss of free speech in our country for a very long time.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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But luckily, our national free speech nightmare recently came to an end when we entered the golden age of Donald Jehoshaphat for Trump.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Thank God. We have a president now who believes in free... Just go ahead, roll 212.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I think Bravo should also lose their license. What they did to Dorinda on Traders, they... They should be sent to a Salvadorian hellhole. This is what I'm talking about. Generally, you've got to search the archives for contradictions on one's stated principles. Dig through policy papers to uncover private actions that are undermined by someone's public stance. But this is so... This is so blatant.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I can't wrap my head around it. It's not even the hypocrisy. It's that they so... fetishize free speech, this thing that they do not in any way actually practice.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Any cardiologist will tell you hearts come in chunks. Blood comes into the aorta to the right ventricle, passes through your speech chunk. But since coming into office, Trump and the Republicans have instituted policies that are a dagger right through many people's speech chunks.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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My chunks! My precious chunks. My lovely lady chunks.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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I'm not. You're making my perineum tingle. Here's the thing. These attacks on free speech, especially the one where they deported that activist, if there's one thing that I know about the powerful principles at our higher education institutions, they will not be bullied by a... Roll 212.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Some students protest the war in Gaza. Suddenly a whole academic department is on double secret probation with government oversight. And by the way, okay, Middle East part, African Studies? What the did they do? Sure, the African Studies professor's like, I teach intermediate Swahili. See, these guys don't give a f*** about free speech. They care about their speech. It's so blatant hypocrisy.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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It's so old school daily show gotcha. You know what? I'm just going to put on the wig I used to wear during those years. Because the hypocrisy is just so... Here's Donald Trump on those who would criticize judges that he has appointed.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Yes, criticizing judges.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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It is interference. It should be illegal. Tremendous abuse. And four days later, not four f***ing days later, not a full French work week later.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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The hypocrisy, it burns. And are we really still doing the Barack Hussein Obama thing? Oh, free Harambee. Come on, people. See, what was the whole thing that they hated about the left on free speech? No one is safe from the left's ward police. No one. What exactly would an actual government-run word police organization look like?

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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BIPOC and Latinx, I get that. You're not allowed to say sex.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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You can't say words like women or sex or hashtag me too. How can a lot of your cabinet members describe their weekends? You know, you can't protest in a way that. You can't protest in a way that offends the right. You can't teach things that the right doesn't want you to teach. You can't read things that they don't want you to read. You can't use words that they don't want you to use.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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But they love free speech. I guess fear not. At least we'll always have art.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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He's demanding they take it down because he believes this picture is unflattering, which really makes you think, do you think other pictures of you are flattering? At least in the painting, they blended the foundation into your hair. But painting is out. Oddly enough, there is still one area of free speech that the right defends non-hypocritically.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Why is it that they're so enamored with social media?

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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The one area of free speech that they want to protect completely is the area that supports them and isn't actually free. Social media is algorithmic, and it advances with key demographics, or to put that in the most hilarious way possible.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. We got a great show for you tonight, my friend. I got a new tie. There's a chart.

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Jon Stewart on Which Speech Is Free in Trump’s America | Paul Rudd

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Perhaps I can answer that question. They are overwhelmingly coming in his direction because that is the direction they're facing. I don't know if you know how that works, but you really can't come in a direction you're not facing. Although, young man at that age, you could bank a shot. I could see one fly over the shoulder. Maybe a trick shot where they landed in a cup.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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But you know what's so horrible about our system now and the corruption that lays within it? We're so numb to it, we actually tout tiny cracks in that exploitation as victory.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Oh, can it be? The companies we subsidize with billions of dollars are allowing us the privilege to negotiate the price of 10 of their drugs? And 10 is all of them, right? It would be embarrassing if it was a small drop in the bucket and that the American people didn't expect that we should negotiate for all their f***ing drugs because we've already paid for them with our subsidies. Come on!

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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going to the hospitals. What we do at pharmaceutical companies is like the worst Shark Tank deal in history. Well, we're asking for billions of dollars of your money. Oh, what do we get, 10% of your company? No. Do we get a discount? No. What do we get? Have you checked your perineum? We live in the upside down. And don't blame the corporations.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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They are profit-seeking psychopaths that need the lowest wages and the cheapest raw materials to drive their highest profits. But why do we, the taxpayers, subsidize their psychopathy? That's the waste, fraud, and abuse in our system. That's it. That's what we should be going after. Not the fantastical, over-generous terrorist condom allowances.

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You're delivering this speech in an elementary school? Why wouldn't... Why wouldn't they know what condoms are? Look, capitalism is by definition exploitative. It's how it operates. That's fine. But then government's role should be to ease the negative effects on Americans of that exploitation, not subsidize that treachery with our money.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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We're getting at a Diddy party and they're making us buy the baby oil. I want Doge to work. I want better efficiencies. I want to get rid of the alphabet agencies that don't do enough, make the Pentagon pass an audit. But we are dozing in the wrong place if we want to really change the system.

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Companies like Walmart, McDonald's make billions of dollars in taxpayer-subsidized profits, yet many of their hardworking employees need taxpayer-subsidized public assistance. Airlines get billions in bailouts that they use in stock buybacks and bonuses. But if you're on food assistance, you're not allowed to buy hot food with it. Because apparently heated entrees are for winners.

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We are subsidizing the very system that makes workers' lives harder in the first place. All in the name of freedom and liberty. But the greatest restriction of freedom in this country isn't DEI and pronoun pressure. It's f***ing poverty and struggle. Pfft. and the government's role, I'm not done! Ya bastards! It's fine!

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The government's role should be to end the corruption that enables that exploitation. That's what the Democrats should be doing! Every day! Every day! Every day at 5 p.m. sharp, the Democrats should go live on Facebook and do the people's audit. Find the absurdities and the remedies in our exploitative system.

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They're saying Bruce. But I guess America doesn't want to set the precedent of opposing bloody land grabs. So green. And landy. But hey, Century being the good guys in America, you know, whatever. It's not the only thing Donald Trump is busy disrupting these days.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Get someone like AOC or Jasmine Crockett or Chris Murphy or anybody that doesn't sound like they're complaining why there's no more frozen yogurt at the cafeteria in the villages. I'm sorry. You have no riz. And we need something more than shouting. We need to do something constructive to anchor our hopes. A new acronym for a new age. It's not MAGA.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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It's something more like Make America Not Governed. in obviously negative... Oh, I'm bored! I'm bored! I'm bored! I'm kidding! No vigilantes, but do something. When we come back, Rupa Bhattacharya will be joining us. Don't go away. Welcome to The Daily Show.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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My guest tonight, a distinguished lawyer, served more than 25 years in federal government, including a special master of the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund. Please welcome to the program, Rupa Bhattacharya. Rupa! Hi. Rupa, it is so nice to see you again. Thank you. You too. You and I met in 2016.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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You had just, please explain, you became the, what's called the special master or the special paymaster of the 9-11 Victims' Compensation Fund.

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And your job was to take this program that had been appropriated by Congress and translate that legislation into action.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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So you were... If I may, I don't... And obviously, I don't mean to just paraphrase or those things. You were a parasite on the system.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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What do you think when you hear that kind of talk about those in the government that are there to try and faithfully execute what the legislation has already appropriated?

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And I was blown away. So I... You were trying to do your job, and I showed up in your office one day with a gentleman by the name of John Feel from the Feel Good Foundation who had lobbied very intensely to get it done. And we just showed up, and you were so gracious to us. And you showed us around the office. And I was so impressed.

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with the way that you had approached it with such compassion but also a toughness and you had a mantra on your and i know i feel like an idiot because i'm sure it's like a managerial like hang in there poster and you're gonna be like yeah it's a dumb thing that i put up but it was a mantra do you remember what i'm talking about I do. What did it say?

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Come on. It makes me so angry I want to smash another mug. Oh, wow. This thing's really coming out. You know, in the commercial break, I had a lightsaber battle with one of the crew members, and that's how I got it. And you did it.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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The program itself had very little waste, fraud, and abuse because your mandate was to make sure that the people who got it, who should get it, got it, and the people who shouldn't get it didn't get it. That was my job. So this week or last week I hear they're just cutting 20% of the staffs of people and the victims compensation was one of those offices.

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That's the one that administers health care to people.

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And what are, in practical terms, and you know the people love a good conversation about administration and... and paperwork. In practical terms, what does that mean? Does that mean people wouldn't be able to access the program? They wouldn't be able to sign up for the program? They wouldn't be able to make their appointments? They wouldn't get their medications? What would it mean?

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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As you know, the Doge Project, the Department of Government Efficiency, headed up by the Nick Cannon of white people, Elon Musk, is in... It's in full effect. And it may surprise you. I, for one, happen to be, quite frankly, Doge curious. I'm actually somewhat Doge adjacent. So, Mr. President, if you would.

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The actual people looking for fraud. They got cut, too.

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What are we doing? For God's sakes. And then they were rehired. And then they were rehired, what, two days later?

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Garbarino! By the way, for those of you in Long Island, come to Garbarino's, a fantastic Italian restaurant overlooking Long Island Sound.

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Schumer and Gillibrand have been on it. Yes. Gillibrand especially had been on it forever. And Hillary Clinton, when it first started, was an incredible advocate for it. But the reason why I wanted to talk about it is because it's a very specific program. But in the specificity of it, I think there's something universal here.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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There's a ton of programs out there right now that don't have Republicans in a congressional delegation, you know, trying to fight for it. And they're gone.

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Right, as long as it demonstrates fealty to the leadership or anything along those lines. When you were administrating, what are the frustrations within government? Is it... What makes it so difficult for government to be agile? Are there too many regulations? Is there too much paperwork? Do we need a moonshot to simplify things?

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Because I think I would love the idea of more efficiency and a less adversarial role. It seems like any government program that's going to help people, and I know this from the PAC Act, any government program that's going to help people is adversarial. That the people become adversarial with the people trying to get the money.

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I wonder, let me pitch this. Is there a way, if we were to make, because there are tons of people that qualify for food assistance who don't claim those benefits because it's difficult. There's a lot of hoops you have to jump through and all those things. If the government didn't use waste, fraud, and abuse as a default,

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made that money simpler to get, like what it was in the pandemic, and then bolstered the money on the back end searching for fraud? Because it seems like we're making the 3% or 5% of fraud. We're making the 95% pay a price for that. Is there a different way to jigger those programs, make them easier to access, and bolster the fraud watchdog on the back end of it?

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I mean, we... Okay, so that's... Five minutes of clothesline. I disagree with you a little bit. Whenever I have a situation like that, I rely on teenage boys. I find them judicious. and hormonally balanced. And I like to let them loose in an organization and just go, have at it boys. It must be so incredibly frustrating to see that.

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Cause I'm also like, I was very frustrated at the fights that had to occur to get people who had earned benefits, benefits. And I imagine that's, and to see how easily corporate interests have infiltrated our process through lobbying. The tax code isn't complex because working class people made it that way. The regulations aren't complex and difficult to do because small businesses want that.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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That's all the result of corporate lobbies because they know how to game the system. How do we stop that part from infiltrating the part that you want to do?

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Yes. Now, if you had woken up from a coma and heard nothing else that this man had said for the last 10 years, you might think to yourself, I like this guy. I, too, believe government needs to be more efficient to weed out waste, fraud and abuse and deliver the necessary services that Americans rely on more agile. So what do we do first?

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This Wednesday, you know, this Wednesday, they're going to reintroduce some legislation to get funding.

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And it was thanks to you and thanks to a number of... To get it, all those people, they were tireless. And many of them were very, very sick.

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To give you a sense of what that is, in the middle of the VCF funding and the victims' compensation, if your cancer had just been, if you had the unlucky occurrence of having a cancer diagnosed in 2021 or 2019 when the fund had lost money, you wouldn't have gotten the full benefit. because they had to resource guard. But that's what's happening. You had to resource guard.

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It must have been heartbreaking.

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From an omnibus bill, they were going to sneak it into, like, a transportation bill or something along those lines.

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And again, this isn't just this program. This is happening across government. And this is what we talk about when this system must be torn down. The idea that people who need the funding, that's what government exists to provide. It doesn't exist to provide a smoother road for McDonald's. It exists to provide for people. And that's got it's got to change. And so I really appreciate you being here.

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And we're going to see. Hopefully we can get that. Rupa Bhattacharya, ladies and gentlemen. We're going to take a quick break. Hey, everybody. That is our show for this evening. But before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of this week, Desi Lydic. Desi! Nice to see you. What are you going to be covering for the people?

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Was that the sound of a gold bar falling out of your pocket?

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Desi Lydic, everybody. Here it is. Your moment of death.

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Report through the inspector general's reports that have addressed these things. Utilize computerishness to excise redundancies in the system. Find ways to more efficiently deliver the government assistance so many Americans rely on. What's first?

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Have we determined if those are effective workers? Is it based on performance? Are you going in with a scalpel so that we don't hit any vessels and vital organs?

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So, straight amputation. We're just amputation. It's like we're treating public servants as some kind of underclass.

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F*** you! Guy who tests water for appropriate levels of fecal matter? What are we talking about? What? You know, this is a stark emotional whiplash from looking for efficiencies. But apparently our nation's civil service is now synonymous with waste, fraud, and abuse. And MAGA World is celebrating with Maximum Folksy.

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First of all, there is no way you actually talk like that. No way. You're a congressman from Tennessee. You didn't spring fully formed out of a primordial cracker barrel. Oh, this here bureaucracy is a Chattanooga choo-choo to a prophet's boil on the flapjacks. I'm just stringing food words together like nonsense. Pew, pew.

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We are back from break. I drew a little picture. We are back. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Daily Show. My name is James Hurd. We have got a show for you tonight. I'm going to be joined later by Rupa Bhattacharya. She is the legal director of all. They know they're Bhattacharyas. Legal director of Georgetown Law Institute for Constitutional Advocacy and Protection.

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I don't remember the spanking scene from daddy daycare. Oh, you must mean the gay porn film, Daddy Daycare. I get it, Jesse. I get it. You were watching the film that answers the question, what would happen if a bunch of dudes f***ed in a daycare? And it just stuck in your head. You know...

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I got to tell you, I feel like you can make efficiency recommendations or cuts without necessarily demonizing the people who are only carrying out Congress's wishes. But I feel like that. They don't. Here's Donald Trump's new director of the offices of management and budget on his feelings about everyone who works for him.

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Because these workers are the worst. A hive of scum and villainy. Star Wars reference.

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Do you watch your show? Yes, you certainly want to be callous, like referring to someone losing their livelihood as being a child being spanked at daycare. But I guess that's just the price of efficiency. Doge is dropping force-guided bombs into the thermal exhaust port that is the Death Star of our bureaucracy. I love Star Wars. I just love the film. But... Doge is Jedi-level shit, man.

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When I said you were criminal parasites, I obviously wasn't referring to... I have the bird flu. Come back to work. Please. But that's fine. Staffing is only part of the Doge mission. There's other crazy shit we could cut.

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I'm going to go with yes on that last one. I feel that I, not a scientist, can very confidently state, pre-experiment, if you are a Japanese quail with an eight ball, you are getting your cloaca sucked. Oh. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That may be the most favorite thing I've ever said on this show.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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I know her as the individual who took over administrating the 9-11 Zadroga Act Victims' Compensation and Health Care Fund for 9-11 first responders and all the people that live down at Ground Zero and Pennsylvania and the Pentagon. So, deep state. She is deep state. And I'm going to

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Now, obviously, that list of programs, some of them are being presented to seem even more ridiculous, and some of those were completely invented out of thin air. But the point is, why are we spending money on things that seem obviously stupid? Even though a government-funded study on Gila monsters is how we ended up with Ozempic.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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By the way, quick pitch, weight gain also would be solved by Japanese quail cocaine. It's really the Star Wars of drugs, cocaine. No downsides. You'd be having your cloacas sucked in no time. Even if this project of Doge is animated by malice for administrators and is seemingly rash and occasionally cutting off critical government functions out of haste, the savings alone will be worth it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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On the Doge website, they posted $16 billion saved just in canceled contracts. Interesting. if true.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Well, who amongst us hasn't lied about saying something is $16 when it's really $2.5? Billion inches. That's not true either. See, it seems that Doge is struggling a bit to get its footing from made up claims about 50 million dollars of taxpayer money going for gauze and condoms to billions in Social Security payments to dead people.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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A claim that turned out to not be real, despite what you've heard.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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You can't argue with that if only it were happening. But it's not happening. We're not paying millions and millions of dead people Social Security money. And even if there was a 200-year-old man walking around, he wouldn't need Social Security. He'd still be in Congress. Guys, I'm going to tell you something. Cutting money shouldn't be this hard.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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I'm starting to think that we as a country don't understand where the real waste, fraud, and abuse in our system really is. Maybe the savings we gleaned from cutting VA nurses and iguana STD studies isn't where the real money is. Let me see if I can noodle. You know what? Let me join Doge. I'm going to see if I can noodle some ideas here. I want to get down some certain ideas. I want to do again.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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There you go. I got that. Let's see what I can do here. This is my want to be an accountant starter kit. So I got it off of Amazon for $5,000. My accountant told me not to get it. So we're looking to save taxpayers some money. And I know, let me think, we got the studies that are done.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Oh, how about we just take $3 billion in subsidies we give to oil and gas companies that already turned billions in profits. How long did that take? Oh, wait. How about we just close down the carried interest loophole on hedge funds? That's $1.3 billion a year.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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But first, today the United Nations marked the third anniversary of the invasion of Ukraine by doing the only thing the United Nations can do, passing a non-binding resolution asking Russia to please stop. Please. Take that, Putin! Interesting, though. Among the countries voting against the resolution were North Korea... Belarus, Russia, obviously, and the United States of America.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Oh, how about we stop the $2 trillion we've given to defense contractors to build a fighter jet that blows when everybody knows the next war is going to be fought with drones and blockchain, whatever that is. Holy shit. I can't believe it. I just saved us billions of dollars in 11 seconds. Just call me Big Balls. I'm sorry. I'm being told that that nickname is already taken.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Well, can I get a Doge nickname? Disturbingly low-hanging balls, really? Really? like you've never heard of gra- how would you even know that? Oh, I'm sorry. But see, this is where the real money is. The real money, the money our free market-ish system uses to prop up corporate profit at the expense of the taxpayer. Pharmaceutical companies get everything from our government.

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Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya

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Tax breaks, research grants, patent extensions worth billions of dollars. And what do we the people get for it? The highest drug prices in the Western Hemisphere. And for some reason, the possibility of an infection in our perineum. Why would you take a drug that would give you an infection in your perineum? And why are they telling us about it at dinnertime?

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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You'll get neither and like it! Now eat up and get out! Of course, no Earth Day speech would be complete without mentioning the administration's favorite environmental pipe dream.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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And I believe teenagers will borrow those hydrogen cars from their future parents. Without permission. And stay out past space curfew. Robo-necking with their cyborg boyfriends. Thought of that when I was on a bicycle.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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After blowing his wow-wad early, DiCaprio scoured his journalist's handbook for other stinging retorts like, geez, and awesome, and can a player get a table dance? The day after Thanksgiving, you feel stuffed. The day after Valentine's Day, loved or angry. And the day after Earth Day, you feel mildly embarrassed that you forgot yesterday was Earth Day. Our Sam Bee has another take.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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And aside from the president, well, as best we can tell, only one other place acknowledged Earth Day, the Cartoon Network's Boomerang Channel, which aired 13 lost episodes of the early 90s pro-environment cartoon Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Gee, why didn't that ever take off? Mommy, I want to be the superhero that tells us what our house is made of. Don't taunt me. And what was Earth doing in the run-up to Earth Day?

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Well, over the last week, it gave us volcano erupting in Peru, earthquakes in Tibet, Indonesia, and Japan, freak tornadoes in America and the Philippines, floods in Hungary, Romania, Malaysia, and Kenya, wildfires in Colorado, and a Category 5 super cyclone about to destroy Darwin, Australia. You know, Earth, could you meet me over at Camera 3, please? Hey, Earth, how's it going?

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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So I guess kissing your ass doesn't work. We call you beautiful, precious, mother. Gave you your own day. Just like veterans and groundhogs. Even named you Planet of the Year in 1988, even though by any objective estimation, that was Neptune's year. We tried to make nice, and what do you do?

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Not only do you kill us in a thousand different ways, but when we raise your temperature just a degree, one little degree, you're all, oh, it's so hot now. My polar ice caps are melting. You're a pussy. I got news for you, Earth. You ain't the only rock in the neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? We got pictures. You seen the moon? Very nice. We've been there several times.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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You know, they've already got a golf course. Then there's Mars, a little red, a little rocky. It's a perfect fixer-upper. We got Titan out by Saturn. Very similar atmosphere to you, other than it's 290 degrees Fahrenheit below zero. But we're working on space jackets. We're through sucking up to you, home planet. You want to fight? Bring it on, bitch.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Because at this moment, I am declaring April 25th the Earth Day. That's right.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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That's gonna be a day to drive your half-mile-per-hour gallon humskalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? Because we're not going out, baby. We're not going out like the dinosaurs, my brother. Without us, you're nothing but a billion-year-old, self-sustaining, self-regulating, organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So you.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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America celebrates Earth Day! Only 363 shopping days until next Earth Day. Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio joined forces in Washington Saturday, celebrating the 30th anniversary of Earth Day. The celebration was held amidst a rock festival atmosphere, except there was no rock, no festival, and as we all learned from the speakers, no atmosphere.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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When a news story falls through the cracks, our own Lewis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Now, we saw President Bush in The Great Outdoors. He talked about how he loves owning his ranch in Texas. Clearly, he's a friend of the environment. But who else is? As Matt Wallace recently found out, the Earth's best friend may well be the logging industry.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Inspiring words from a man whose 1992 bestseller, Earth and the Balance, now sits in landfills across the country. The crowd was also treated to the music of David Crosby, who was then treated to the sound of people heading over to the Smithsonian to see Archie Bunker's chair. Leonardo DiCaprio's much-debated Bill Clinton interview also aired this weekend.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Friday, April 22nd was Earth Day. And that, of course, oddly enough, April 22nd is the day in 2012 on which the Earth will end. You heard it here first. President Bush marked the event by riding his airborne SUV to Tennessee to visit the Great Smoky Mountains, ironically our nation's most polluted national park.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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But he wound up stuck on the tarmac due to a sudden burst of hail and thunderstorms because the Earth hates him so much. It hates him. But the president soldiered on with his speech, making a slight adjustment in tense.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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The president took Leo on a tour of the dimly lit and romantic White House.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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But since I'm not there, let me skip right ahead to talking about our good friend, the high sulfur coal plant.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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And then, and then, and then, and then I showed up. The whole thing, the whole thing went to... The whole thing went, went... Now, if you didn't notice, Majority Leader Bill Frist accompanied the president on the trip. Now, I'm gonna replay some of the tape. Keep your eye on Senator Bill Frist as the president speaks.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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You know, I was not there. Obviously, I wasn't there. And I was only watching this on videotape, so I am not really qualified to give a diagnosis. But it seems to me that Bill Frist was in a persistent vegetative state. I don't know that to be true, but... Of course, the biggest... Oh. Never give an audience candy.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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The biggest environmental battle these days is over the proposal to drill in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. And those opposed to it are mobilized, and by mobilized, I mean armed with meringue.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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This weekend, in front of the Capitol Ice Cream, moguls Ben and Jerry created the world's largest baked Alaska, presumably to raise awareness about the Anwar legislation now moving through Congress. There you have it. The state of liberal opposition in this country. We're very angry. Would anyone care for ice cream? Saturday was the 36th annual Earth Day.

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TDS Time Machine | Earth Day

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Who better to celebrate the Earth than the man who owns it? President George W. Bush visited a clean energy research consortium in Sacramento with a message of hope.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Now, generally, if this were a Dateline documentary, he would return to that room to express a form of repentance and maturity and acknowledgement of the pain that had been wrought on that terrible day. But in this show that we're filming now, it's to be sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. And as with most returning to the scene of the crime,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Yeah, I think, I mean, obviously a lot of that economic stuff was happening before noon today, so I don't... I don't think so.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Desi Lydic, you're down there as well. You've been covering blue Washington, as it were.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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They've already renamed the bases after Confederate generals?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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All right, well, try and stay safe out there, Desi. John, if I could say something. I'm sorry. Yeah. Josh Johnson. Are you?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Yes, does he do initiatives? Is there another march?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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We're being recognized again. Why are you dressed like a caveman and a robot? Hmm? Oh, we were understudies for the village people.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Well, aren't you guys a little, like, ashamed at all about performing at the Trump inauguration, or...?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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It began with tea with the people you tried to steal it from.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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That's the news team, everybody. When we come back, Brooke Harrington will be joining me. We'll be right back. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight... My guest tonight is an economic sociologist at Dartmouth College who studies the behavior of the ultra-rich. Her latest book is called Offshore, Stealth Wealth and the New Colonialism.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Please welcome to the program Brooke Harrington. So happy to be here. You have studied oligarchy. You have studied the ultra-rich. As you were watching today, I'm going to assume, you were struck by the scenes of the collegial atmosphere. Yeah. Was that odd? Do we normally see all the titans of industries and things in the front row, the box seats? No.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Okay, that hurts. Sorry. That actually hurts.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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It's always important to keep up the tea tradition when you hand over the keys to, I'm sorry, what did you call them? Hitler? but gotta be a good host. Hey, the Wi-Fi password is White House, but I changed the I to a one. I hope that's not weird.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Oh, and so you're not expecting any of our oligarchs to be like, hey... Watch what you're doing. Like, none of that.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But he's blended them. I mean, this Doge, I mean, he's brought them in to the table. But is there maybe something better about that? Because the explicit bargain is now you have to give us money or you have to bring business to America.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Yeah. I like the sound of it. Yeah. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to be sold.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Okay. If that's not trademarked, broligarch. Nice.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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So you see them more as like they're in the king's court and the world has been returned to the more natural order of noblesse oblige or something along those lines.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Wait, that's what he said? You made this sound very Crips versus Bloods.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Vance rolled up on the EU? He just got out of his Benz and went inside and was like, here's your new me.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Right. Craziness. So... They are explicitly... But then what is the political philosophy? Is it just the great man theory that... You know, the irony of a populist movement relying on the great men to control all that happens.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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I'm not saying Biden should have done his own insurrection, but there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and would you like a crumpet? But everyone showed up. Yes, it's the Supreme Court taxiing in. Oh, please. They're taxiing in like the private jets some of them take to caged pheasant hunts. All very legal.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But don't I mean, at some level, don't you think they're just trolling people with that? Like, do you do you actually believe they think I have a high sperm count? So I I mean, I feel. Yes, I listen. I don't know how we went off the rails on that.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But that feels a little bit like how much of this is trolling and memes and how much of it, for me, they feel a little bit like, look, we had a Gilded Age. It doesn't seem that different from the Gilded Age that ushered in industrialization, although now it's more on the digital side. Would that be a charitable way of putting it?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Is that why? So when you look at all those like national parks of Rockefeller or you look at all that, that's why those guys did that?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But isn't that what these oligarchs now, isn't that what their first wives are for? Isn't that, like, what it seems like now is they divorce their first wife, and then their first wife is like, give this all to Planned Parenthood. Like, is that the oblige that's coming out?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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I think Melinda Gates also gives a tremendous amount.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Really? Interesting. So let's talk about, though, when we look at the Russian oligarchs, you talk about Putin is utilizing the wealth of these men, I guess, to fund some of his endeavors or just the amassing of that money covers his own corruption.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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And for Trump, he looks at it as like, I will take my power that I have in government and I will amplify it through industry. But through industry, look, it's almost better to me that it's this explicit. Like, I feel like now we have a number. on what this type of crony capitalism looks like. Elon gave $270 million to get Donald Trump elected.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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He made, after the election, I think something like $210 billion. So now we have a number on it. We know what their access to government is worth. Is that transparency better for us to even know? Can we do anything about it if we don't even know?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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And America's illustrious senators like Amy Klobuchar and Deb Fischer. And of course, Hakeem Jeffries was there. And Fetterman was... Are you... Come on! Fetterman! Really? Shorts? It's not even an inaugural decorum thing. It's f***ing freezing out there. It's a health concern. Fetterman is literally America's teenage son. It's your grandma's funeral. I told you I don't like long pants!

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Right. How do you battle? So when you have something that's the state power of the United States, which is utterly enormous, combined with the corporate power. I mean, I always viewed government in some ways as hopefully a check on corporate power. But if it's a lubricant, what does that turn into? And again, I apologize. I just realized.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But were we kidding ourselves in some ways? You know, I saw a gentleman who was trying to become the new DNC chairman. Gentleman Martin, I think his name is. And he had said about money in politics, oh, yeah, we're going to get all that money out. You know, we're going to have our good billionaires, but we're not going to take any money from the bad billionaires.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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And it reminded me, I once had Nancy Pelosi on, and she said money corrupts in politics. What about the money Democrats raise? Oh, no, that doesn't corrupt us. There's this sense that, oh, no, it's only those actors that are bad. I mean, the oligarchs gained trillions during the Biden presidency.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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So are we kidding ourselves that this wasn't in place, just not maybe as stated as clearly?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Does that mean we're allowing ourselves to be bought off? Is the idea being like, look, you guys amass what you need to amass at the top. You pull the strings you want to pull. we need two parks. And this gets to a larger conversation about labor and capital. How does American labor tap into that money stream?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Because that money stream is built on the backs of American labor, yet they don't have access to it. What if we allow them their excess, but rather than philanthropy, is there a way to attach to make American labor also a shareholder in that?

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It's one of the finest historian institutes.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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It's so dispiriting to hear that same message for labor of like, you guys just need to get together and get better lobbyists. And there is something here that seems almost more difficult, which is this rise of populism mirroring this gilded age. You know, fascism was not blended with the gilded age. The industrial age was. And so I don't know that we've...

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We've seen this before, and I hesitate to say that, but it does seem unusual.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But the law's not on our side. The law is basically now saying corporations are people, money is speech, and so how do you... Boy, I hate to see someone who's studied this for so long to you go like, you know what's terrible to me? And I'm like, what?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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which I'm I'm guessing now is maybe the overt strategy. Yeah, because that's in many ways how they generate the income because that the overt strategy of the algorithm is to conflict and outrage.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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made me really nervous. Thank you so much for this. Offshore is the book. It's available now. Brooke Harrington, we're going to take a quick break. Hey, everybody, that's our show for tonight. Before we go, I'm gonna check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Ronny Chang. Ronny!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Fine, be cold. Even the president's family attended, most of whom didn't have to be warned not to do that weird f***ing thing with their hands. Don't, hey, hey, hey, don't, don't do it with your hands. Can you just be normal for a day? What was he doing? Literally like, look at my dick. Huh, what, no, okay, okay.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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You know he's out of office and can't give out any more pardons, right? You know that.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But not to worry, also attending were all those people who warned Americans to shun this wannabe fascist dictator called Trump. Look at me, Ma. Oh, let's go see Hitler and get a quick selfie first. Hello, look at us. Oh, quick one for the gram. Yes, former President Obama was there. George Bush seemed kind of there. Definitely high.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Even Mike Pence showed up, I guess, to let the crowd finish the job. Only Michelle Obama seemed to have the consistent ethical stance of saying, when they go low, I stay the f*** home. I don't care. I'm staying. Of course, Jill Biden was there, making the strategic choice of keeping her purse on. Which, as you know, is the international symbol of...

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But the award for most useful fashion accessory went to the ever-stylish Melania Trump, whose Audrey Hepburn-esque chapeau, or head cloche, as it's called, doubled as an effective... If you don't control your borders... You don't have a head.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Meanwhile, many dignitaries went not only hatless, but hairless with a plethora of stocky, bald billionaires who all seem to go to the same biohack life extension clinic and say, give me the Lex Luthor. Yes, taking the place of seats normally reserved for Democratic or Republican governors sat Zuck, Bezos, Tim Cook, Elon, Tic Tac Guy, Google Guy.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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The six guys who control maybe 20% of the world's wealth and 100% of your nudes. You don't need to pretend with me. I don't know what he's talking about. Delete, delete, delete. Populism, ladies and gentlemen. Shouldn't this gathering be happening in a volcano's lair near Zurich? Or are we just open source Illuminati now? Where's the conspiracy fun in that?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Honestly, there is not a useful app of communication, not controlled by at least one of these individuals. And you may not be concerned that they've all ponied up a million dollars to be sitting there and are kissing the ass of a president who openly threatens non-ass kissers, but trust me, shit's gonna get weird. Even by that afternoon,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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This appearance of Elon Musk at an earlier Trump rally is getting loads of attention because of a one-armed gesture he made.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Charitably, I'm going to say that was just an awkward, my heart goes out to you gesture. Any of you might have done it like this. You know, even Taylor Swift has done that, you know, my heart, but she almost never does the goes out to you. Just always stays with, but you know, listen, it's nerve wracking day. You're not normally a public speaker. It's a one-off gesture.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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You really want to make sure the people in the back see it, I guess. I'm just going to be generous and say, maybe that was Elon's attempt at dabbing on the haters? I don't... By the way, do people still dab on haters? Was that a very old man? OK. Wasn't that a thing at one time? No, I think it's important in these troubled times to continue to dab on the haters.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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hey welcome welcome to the daily show uh my name is uh hold on my name is my name is john stewart i'm your host most historic vibe shift of the day uh

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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But don't be concerned that these tech titans control Google and TikTok and WhatsApp and Instagram and X and any other way that we communicate in the year of our Lord 2025 because, you know, they're not going to censor us. And it doesn't matter anyway because I know in my heart we don't need any of them because we'll always have you, messenger pigeon.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Why, messenger pigeon? Why would you turn on me? I let you live in a cage on my roof surrounded by your own shit. You know, I asked them to make that animation at like five o'clock tonight. It's literally with everything else going on in the show. And I was literally like, could you make me a pigeon doing this? And they were just like, sure.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Anyway, then it was time for the swearing in on the kind of on the Bible. Yes, it turns out Trump didn't actually put his hand on the Bible. Obviously, because one or the other would burst into flames. Perhaps both. And so, ladies and gentlemen, the torch has been passed from Biden to Trump. Yes, the torch has been passed to the same generation of Americans.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Let's hear from the 47th president, fresh off the warm embrace of a tea ceremony with his predecessor.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Yes, the inaugural speech followed the American tradition of a passive-aggressive transfer of power. The incoming president gets to completely shit on the outgoing president in front of that president and hopefully his spouse.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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This is a tumultuous time in American history filled with much uncertainty and trepidation. But it is very difficult for me to not in any way take the bait of the way he said, dick line. It really did sound like he said, our dick line. Like, the line of our dick. So you can see America's dick line? I mean, how are you going to end our dick line? With a tuck or a full reassignment?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Donald J. Trump, the 45th president of the United States, a man whose licentious and felonious behavior has been well cataloged and documented, returned to the Capitol Rotunda just four short years after inspiring, in that very place, a day of riotous shit. returned to the exact same room.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Or is this more about Fetterman's shorts? What about our dick line? I am a child. But as bad as things were, guess what, folks? Daddy's home. It's about to get a whole lot better.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Ooh, I think I just saw J.D. Vance's dick line. Drill, baby, drill. But for all the day's eerie energy, one thing stood out to America's watchdogs of democracy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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Yeah, it's all just normal shit. It's just another day. It's all just normal transfer power shit. We're just going to play along like all this theater is normal. Oh, except there was one thing that might have given the game away.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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It's all just normal. First of all, Biden, you're at the inauguration. Did you auto-schedule your pardons? And second of all, what the , man? You're just pardoning your whole family? It's not a great look. Yeah, like any good captain, as the ship is going down, Biden gave the order, that lifeboat is for my family! The rest of you can do just like a kind of Jack and Rose thing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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One on, one off, 50-50 shot, who gives a shit? Biden outie. So the takeaway this entire day was, a man who tried to overthrow the government has been peacefully handed the reins of power, and the outgoing president has started a new tradition of blanket pardoning everyone in his orbit. The two men creating a magnificent snake-sucking-its-own-dick cycle of no accountability.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s Inauguration and Elon Musk's Nazi Salute | Brooke Harrington

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And then, of course, we end with the grand finale. The attack on Greenland has begun! Yeah, what are you gonna do? For more on the day's events, we go out to the best f***ing news team in the country, starting at the Capitol, with Michael Kosta and Desi Lydon! Yeah!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I certainly disagree with him on many things, but I have to applaud that after hearing this devastating news about Joe Biden, that Donald did not take cancer's side. Yeah. I'm f***ing swinging tonight. So important as we as Americans. And by the way, Trump maintained that level of gravitas for almost an entire day.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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To be fair, I do think if Biden was at stage nine, we should have found out about that. I don't even know that. And he's the one that's fine, right? There's no book coming out on him. He's f***ing fine. He's... That'll be the next... Stage 9 cancer. Is that... That's the kind that grows up like an ivy into a building. But you know what? Maybe it is another cover-up. I don't f***ing know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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If they came out and said, yeah, Biden knew about it five years ago, I wouldn't be shocked. If they came out and said Biden found out on Friday, I wouldn't be shocked. And I understand the excitement over an insidious Democratic cover-up about Joe Biden's mental decline. The thing is, though, it was a terrible cover-up. Because we all f***ing knew. All of us knew. There was no cover-up.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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No, like most people in America, I am most looking forward to reading a book. But when?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Poll after poll showed vast majorities of the public thought Biden was too old and too out of it to run again. Dean Phillips mounted an entire primary campaign because of it. I really don't know if that's Dean Phillips. Is that Dean Phillips?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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probably named dean phillips or steve and he might be in the shot but he along with most of the public knew that it was a bad idea for biden to run we knew it and that's what's so hilarious about politicians the cover-up doesn't work when everyone knows you're lying And everyone knows you're lying. The tell is when you're so over the top about what you don't want to tell the truth about.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I gotta steroid test these dudes. Look. They used to say, it's not the crime, it's the cover-up. But it's starting to feel like politics is all cover-up. Crime or not, in an attempt to hold on to power, political actors do anything they can to project a reality distortion field when all known evidence is to the obvious contrary.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And the media tasked with covering them has somehow ended up inside the bubble with them. So for those of you watching at home who might like to know what the reality of what they're hiding about our current president would be, look not to the Democrats. Look not to the media. Look to the president's political allies because their hyperbole is the indictment.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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My guest tonight is an award-winning journalist whose groundbreaking new book is called Apple in China, the Capture of the World's Greatest Company. Please welcome to the program Patrick McGee. Sir! Thank you for joining us. The book is called Apple in China, the capture of the world's greatest company. I've got to tell you something. You know, I'm not much of a reader.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I was going to wait for the movie to come out. But honestly, like, this is jaw-dropping. This book is jaw-dropping and so well-researched. It's not a polemic. It's not hyperbole. It's the story of... how China basically was built as a country by Apple. Is that... Yeah.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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So they're building the machinery, but they're outsourcing that. They're hiring companies to build this.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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So these documents, the numbers seem fantastical.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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But these aren't just low-level, like, oh, it's a million people doing it.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And this is $130 billion in 16 countries. 16 countries versus one. Versus one country.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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They do this, by the way. This is China. This is not to single out. This was a decision that Apple made not with this intention. No, not at all. It was, you know, it began, I guess, well, it began with shareholder capitalism, I guess, in the 80s. Yeah, yeah. I mean, not to walk back to it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Don't news people have to tell you what they know when they find it out? Isn't that the difference between news and a secret? You won't believe what we found out. No, that's why I'm watching. Breaking news! Now, I don't know how the rest of the country is feeling about this book coming out, but I know New York is hyped.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Right. I mean, it's that ethos of you do what's best for the shareholder. So you're it's you're searching out the cheapest labor, the lowest product. But it really it seemed like Xi Jinping in was a 2013 is what made this so fraught. Would that be correct to say?

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And so at that moment, shares of Apple then start to go down. It becomes less popular in China, yes?

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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So they trained their competitors to build a product that would be commensurate with their product, but would be a Chinese-owned company. And those companies start to gain market share on Apple.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And that's the whole deal for Apple. Like, beautiful. The shit's beautiful.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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That's the only logical thing to do. So they now have a real problem on their hands. They have trained their competitors and made it part of their business model that their competitors get healthy and do that. And they're about to face a real struggle and someone saves them. Who is it that saves them? Patrick. Patrick? I read your book. So my thesis is that they're stuck.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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What do they declare about Huawei? Somebody declared something about Huawei that puts Apple back on. Somebody declared something about Huawei? That's when the Trump administration said that Huawei was a security thing. Oh, yes.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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So we think about step out now in a macro view. We think about these companies as kind of monoliths, as monopolies and all this sort of thing. And the American viewpoint is always trust busting. We've got to go in and break up these companies. This is a somewhat of a monopolistic operation. And but they are going to break themselves up. by training competitors to compete with them.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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They're actually creating a far more competitive market than ever would have given our standard business practices. So the irony is they create a more competitive market in an authoritarian state.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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You know, you could have said that in the book. I didn't see that. It's fascinating. But here's the other part that I think is that's when you realize this whole idea of reshoring and industrialization, that the idea that tariffs, this weirdly simplistic, you know, cudgel that we're going to do there is so woefully short as far as this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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That's our motto. Our motto is... I'm kidding, of course. That is footage from the reopening of the Frick Museum. By the way, it is New York, so you know the real name of the museum is the F*** Collection. They just put it up there like, hey, the frigging collection? What are we doing here? So what is this bombshell book about?

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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This is the result of years of intense state run industrial planning. Yeah. that was intentional, it was purposeful. It is, I mean, it's literally called Project 2025 in China. It's China's Project 2025. Yeah. So when you think now, and Apple says, oh, we're going to spend $500 billion back in the United States, where and how?

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And because we are now living through an announcement presidency, because that really is what we are living through. This presidency is the mission accomplished presidency. It's just a dude on a destroyer with a giant banner behind him that says mission accomplished, even though it has no f***.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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basis in reality yeah and and that's how we get things done and so this idea of like 15 trillion dollars in investment coming back to america you're like where yeah how but what's so despicable about the entire thing is we could have done all this here all of it oh no i'd actually disagree okay we were so close to being best friends

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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But we have to also build up those ancillary businesses. By allowing this, we really did hollow ourselves out.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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This is not meant, by the way, to be so hypercritical of Apple. This is the example, but this is merely one of myriad examples of how our industrial policy got the way it got.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I'm sorry. You were saying something about something, but I don't remember what that was. The book is phenomenal. Thank you. Truly, like, jaw-dropping and, like, generally true.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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But before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Ronnie Chang. Ronnie, what's happening, my man? Hey.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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To be fair, when you forget a white guy's name, to be fair, and I say this with respect to the bombshell, Steve is not a bad guess. I think even Jake Sullivan at some point was like, is my name Steve? Because when I look in the mirror, I could be a Steve. Or Scott, maybe a Craig. The point is, the American news media were hungry for more. A new Biden bombshell. Dropping bombshell allegations.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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A steady drip of new revelations. Damning claims. Damaging new details.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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My God, Fox News built an entire Biden sucks border wall to hold back the raging drips of details and bombshells. Nothing could slow down this coming feeding news frenzy about Biden's cognitive health other than maybe a report on his actual physical health, which was not good. But now we got ourselves a little problem. You've prepared an entire smorgasbord Smorgasbord. Charcuterie board.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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You know what I'm talking about. Meat and cheese. You know what I'm talking about. Entire smorgasbord based on what you thought would be a relatively uncomplicated story about mental decline. News has the countdown clock. They got the book graphics. They got the CNN Happy Meal tie-in toys. But now, doing the story seems almost disrespectful. Can CNN thread the needle?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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How do you pivot from excitedly promoting your anchor's book to somberly and respectfully promoting your anchor's book?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Man, my name is Jon Stewart. What a program. We have designed for you tonight a bespoke artisanal effort that I think you are going to truly love. And Patrick McGee is going to be here. They call them McGee heads. That's the fandom, the Patrick McGee fandom. Here to discuss his new book about how Apple's actions in China shifted the entire global economy. The book is phenomenal.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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It's so hard. It's such a difficult time. So unfathomable in terms of the pain this family must be feeling. And yet, if you act now... And... You use the code backslash... Tap that book, you will... Obviously, this 20% off offer is not available for some reason in Tennessee.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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But the point is, forgetting about the fact how f***ing weird it is that the news is selling you a book about news they should have told you was news a year ago for free. It's just fun. IT'S JUST FUN TO WATCH THEM NOT ONLY CONTINUE TO PUSH THE BOOK IN LIGHT OF THIS DIFFICULT NEWS, BUT TO ACTUALLY FRAME THIS DIFFICULT NEWS AS PERHAPS EVEN MORE OF A REASON TO BUY THIS BOOK.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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No observers will say it's more important now. Some observers might think, do these CNN people work on commission? Like, why are they hawking these things?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Now, that is not necessarily the model they will get. I don't want to disincentivize people from working hard, obviously. I don't go through all the graphics before the show. While CNN had to shift from somber and caring to always be closing, Fox and the rest of the right-wing media had a very different problem. How to shift from let's go, Brandon, to... Get well, Brandon.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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And then as quickly as possible back to, let's go, Brandon. Watch them work their magic and see how much weight the word butt carries.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I hope he beats it, but not too fast? You want to enjoy this? But what?

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Yeah, I'll bet he didn't find out Friday. I'll bet he found out like Wednesday. And then they were all like, oh, my God, this is terrible. Should we tell this f***ing guy? And then they're like, oh, I don't know. Why don't we tell the family first? And then they're like, yeah, but this f***ing guy really wants to know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I got to tell you, I think this all really highlights an opening in the greeting card market. We don't have enough cards that swing wildly from sympathy to accusation. Praying you get well soon, but there are some holes in your timeline. There are. I don't know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Anyone else want to do this butt pivot, the tush-push?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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I am trying to make a very serious point here. And I find it very difficult to do that when you throw in a totally weird looking dude right in the middle of it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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For a book about Apple, it's banana. That's a little... It's a fruit pun. I don't know about you folks, but me... I'm on the pins and needles. I'm very anxious right now. I'm very nervous, very anticipatory. And it's not about whether Russia and Ukraine will be settled. It's not whether somebody can stop Netanyahu. Somebody, please. It's not whether Taylor's unfriended Blake. I don't know.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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That is, I don't know if that was like a green screen thing, but whatever's happening here, I imagine if I had a nodule on my prostate, this is what it might look like. It's a little bit... Why would you get the worst possible haircut for your head shape? Why would you do that? My head is long and thin. Amplify that. Looks like I have a kosher hot dog asked for a Hitler Youth haircut.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Respectfully. Yes, right wing media deftly pivoted from concern to accusation. But perhaps the most shocking response of all was from the commander in chief himself.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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That's it? No exclamation points, no all caps? No insults. Whole thing spelled correctly. It's really got all the telltale signs of a post definitely written by Donald Trump. I'm looking at this post. I swear to God. On True Social. I wonder when they sell this post, True Social sent him a security alert. They just sent him a quick message. We noticed some suspicious humanity. on your account.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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If this was, in fact, you, President Trump, please reply, Nancy Pelosi's husband is gay. Just reply that. THAT TRUMP RESPONDED TO BIDEN'S DIAGNOSIS WITH THE MOST PRO FORMA BEAR MINIMUM CHAT GPT STATEMENT WAS SO ASTONISHING EVEN THE CORRUPT LAMESTREAM MEDIA GAVE TRUMP HIS PROPS.

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Jon Stewart Slams CNN’s “Bombshell” Biden Book Promo Amidst Cancer Diagnosis | Patrick McGee

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Couple of things. It is not important. that you speak up at all. As a Democrat, as anything, it is not important. What he did was not noteworthy and important. Has any president, has any person ever had a lower bar to clear than, I have to salute the president, I... I have to salute the president.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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I'm sorry. I'm having difficulty focusing on what you're saying because I'm terrified that you're a hard yellow light away from getting ready with Dan Crenshaw. Obviously, that is not meant in any way to diminish Congressman Crenshaw's service and how he was wounded in Afghanistan. making a Get Ready With Me video. Is that tonight? Comedy's legal again, right?

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Perhaps nothing is as emblematic of this mismatch between the parties than the Democrats' latest viral offering. Now, I understand Democrats would want to showcase that some of their members have not had hip replacement surgery yet. And I hope you understand whatever that last one was. I'm fighting you while taking a shit. Well, just understand this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Over just the past few days, Donald Trump deported hundreds of Venezuelans to El Salvador, despite a judge's order, extraordinarily renditioned a pro-Palestinian Columbia student with a green card, declared that CNN and MSNBC should be illegal. By the way, I'm not against everything he does.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Whatever this is, is no match for the game Republicans are playing. When we come back, Senator Chris Murphy, don't go away.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight, a third-term U.S. senator from Connecticut. Please welcome to the program Democratic Senator Chris Murphy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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What is happening? So just in this CR for the budget. Yeah. There was great resolve and unity about what a disaster this was for the American people. Chuck Schumer, they need us. They don't have us. They don't get to pass it. And then he just flips. And I don't want to just blame it on him. Clearly, a decision was made within the Senate. Was there a meeting?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Was there a lunch where all the senators in the Democratic caucus had, I'm going to assume, mostly mushy food? Yeah. There is jello served at every single one of our lunches. I've been to the Senate. There is a chewing and digestion issue. Was there a discussion as to whether or not you would invoke the filibuster, not give them cloture? And how did that discussion go?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Well, you know, the idea, and I've heard a lot of it. I think you bring up a lot of very interesting points. But I hear a lot of the American people have to get involved. And it does feel a little bit like, well, we've gone to a Knicks game and they're getting their asses kicked. And in a timeout, they turn to the crowd and go like, you're in. Isn't the whole point.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And I hear a lot of like, it's a billionaire takeover and it's a threat to democracy. What I don't hear a lot of is, What are the three things that in that CR, if Chuck Schumer had any leverage, what are the three things he would have asked for other than what would he have asked for? Because I follow it pretty closely, and I don't know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Congress just authorized that. So it is authorized.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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So Chuck Schumer could have said, I am going to filibuster this unless you keep the power of the military purse with us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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He won the tournament at Trump International. How did that happen? This dude's whole life, he's like the Make-A-Wish Batman kid. Hey, look at that, Donald. You caught all the criminals. Look, I'm opposed to anyone rolling back American democracy, but I do tip the cap to any 78-year-old winning a golf tournament.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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I thought the paddles... I thought anytime you can take a page out of the Valentine heart candy playbook, little messages. Maybe this is begging the question. Maybe we need to step back and say, is the problem here not that the Democrats don't have a plan to fight it? It's that they actually don't have a plan. That they don't have a foundation of how they would... Look, this election was about...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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the American people repudiating that government was serving their needs. The Republicans have been working on this little Project 2025 for 60 years, and the Democrats feel like they were just caught off guard. So what is the foundational governing philosophy of the Democrats that addresses people's discomfort with the way that their government has been operating.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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They view the Democrats as having broken it. That's my my question is, is there a reflection on the Democratic side that part of what this is, is their theory on governance is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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is somewhat broken that you know let me explain this let me give you a more specific example if i'm a taxpayer i feel like i pay money i pay taxes but i don't get health care i have to buy insurance so if i buy insurance i get health care well not really i get access to a system that maybe will deny me my health care or maybe we'll do that have democrats thought about isn't that the fundamental problem with how people are viewing

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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I think... Credibility, I think, is is such an important word here, but it's something that is earned. And I see a Democratic Party that is way too comfortable with corporate lobbyists, a Democratic Party that God bless that we can negotiate the price of 10 drugs and that that's a huge victory. Like if that doesn't. send the message that this party is utterly out of touch with.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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It's not a party that understands, it seems, the power and leverage that government can have to fight corruption. It seems altogether too comfortable being a part of the corruption.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But didn't it before that, isn't it maybe it's Jimmy Carter opening up trade, it's Clinton deregulating the financial institutions? This is a long...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And by the way, still having enough energy left to stroll into the command center in his golf attire to bomb the shit out of Yemen. Yeah. Now look, anyone can bomb the shit out of Yemen after nine holes, but 18? By the way, when he did that shift at McDonald's, did they just let him keep the headset? Is that...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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The point is simply this. The government subsidizes these corporations with billions of dollars and demands nothing in return. And isn't that the foundation of a governing philosophy? Maybe they could put it in a book. They could call it Project Something. Like, is that work not being done? Because right now, it looks like ad hoc people on TikTok making better brand for themselves.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But the party seems utterly rudderless.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Practical ideas, common sense, easy ideas.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Clearly they have the money. Clearly there are think tanks. Is it because no one has brought the party together as an individual? Is it because the corporatist part of the party has been dominant?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Are you it feels a little bit like the Democrats are standing on 34th Street and they're looking up at the Empire State Building and they're going, we should build one of those. And we're like, oh, why didn't you? And they're like, I don't know. We, you know, opened up a Papaya King a few blocks down today. You know, how far back in this process do you think the Democratic Party is?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And is there even a consensus about beginning that process? Because it doesn't seem to be even nascent.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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So there's nothing you can say to me that is going to wash that shit out of my brain.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Tell them to do it. You invited me here. Let me sit here. Yelling at the screen. These people, look at these people. Look how f***ing sad these people are. They're just sad. Every day I come in before the show, do you have any questions? What are you going to do? I don't know. I'm here on Mondays.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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While they're bombing the shit out of Yemen, he's like, hold on, I got fries at the drive-thru window. Hold on. By the way, by bombing Yemen, Donald Trump continued a presidential tradition dating back decades. It may have been what the Wright brothers invented the plane for. How much better do we have to make this for it to be able to reach and bomb the shit out of Yemen?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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If you have to put together the dream team tomorrow to start this project, who are what are the groups that you're pulling together? What are the people and how are they getting started on creating this cohesive governing philosophy that says government is still important as a counterweight to not just legislative power or executive power, but of corporate power and of world interventionist power.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And we need it. Could you name three people that you'd put on that task tomorrow?

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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We have got to bring... So, but three people don't come to mind. Because I can't see Bernie anymore... Sweet Bernie in his sweater, walking the Capitol grounds out of breath, going like, AOC and I, we're going to go. We're going to be in Colorado. We're going to be in Nevada. Come out and see us. I don't know what these people are doing, but I'm doing my best.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Like, there's got to be another answer to that.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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I think what they want is a cohesive message that feels like it addresses what people believe were the corrupt and broken elements of the system that Democrats helped design and have to be honest with themselves that no longer are functioning in the way that they want.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Hold on a second. Make government work.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Oh, man! Hey, everybody! Hold on. Magua. Senator Chris Murphy. Thank you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But fear not, because Democrats... put on the back foot, finally have an opportunity to stand up and show their dispirited party they still have the principle and the backbone to face down this wannabe tyrant.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Hey, that's our show for tonight. But before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Jordan Klepper. Jordan, what's on deck this week?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Jordan, the games haven't even started yet, so you didn't blow it. You didn't blow any of the money. The thing hasn't even... Who'd you pick to win the whole thing?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Also, oh, I meant to tell you this. March 31st, I'm hosting A Night of Too Many Stars at the Beacon Theater right here in New York City. Live comedy event benefiting autism programs nationwide. If you're in town...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Come see us! Come see us! It's gonna be an unbelievable lineup, many great stars.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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We'd love to have you there, raise a little money for these programs that are suffering, because as you know, when public money leaves, private people are . Here it is, your moment is in.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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It is on like Donkey Kong. It turns out the Byzantine Senate rules have presented a golden opportunity to the minority party because the budget the Republicans are proposing is a non-starter.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Can you be more hell no? Is that like, hell no!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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By the way, like, who's this dude fooling? You know that salty language isn't you, Merkley? Dollar in the swear jar, it's H-E double hockey sticks from now on. But this abomination of a budget shall not pass. Because, Senator Schumer, please remind the people what is necessary.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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You don't have the votes. You need congressional approval because you don't have the votes. Because the filibuster requires... I only saw the play once. You see, Republicans, your little evil budget plan might have worked if you hadn't forgotten that one Senator Schumer is Charles in charge of the Democratic Party. I'm afraid your diabolical scheme has been foiled.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But, but you had, but you had to say it were terrible. And oh, oh, wait a minute. Oh shit, I know what's going on here. All right, I know what's going on here. You had me going, Chucky. You probably got a little something out of this, didn't you, old sea shoe? You wouldn't have given up that powerful leverage on the budget for nothing. My guess is Chucky got some cheese.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Senator Schumer, uh... No disrespect, but you are a disgrace to Jewish stereotypes about financial negotiations.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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That's just... I thought the whole point of us is that's what we do.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But you're out there. How much is it? Five dollars. How about I give you seven? Like, what are you doing? And for those of you who may have felt like this was a total capitulation, Senator Schumer just felt like this wasn't the moment for Democrats to press their case because Trump is still too strong.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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You're going to keep at it. Keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. And what? This was it. This was the it that you would have been keeping at.

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Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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The keeping of the it. It's not the keeping of the it. That's the issue. It's what the it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Don't you have to start it to keep at it? If this wasn't it, then what is it if this not be it?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But apparently the grand plan is Dems keep fecklessly complaining until the 48 approval comes down to 40, which is a plan, but it's forgetting one crucial piece of information in Schumer's popularity calculation.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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You've gotta get Trump to lose eight points of popularity just for you to get to the point where you're 13 points below him. Your approval is only seven points above where it turns red and goes into low power mode. Maybe you're not a numbers learner. Maybe a visual demonstration of where you're at. Let me meet you where you live.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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This is them. Oh, I see. They're much higher.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Yes, they're much higher. And if you keep this up, you'll be wearing these on your dick. Do you understand? Jesus. Perhaps I'm being too hard on the senator. Although I am not. Perhaps he has insider knowledge of a quiet, smoldering, Republican-immune ability to compromise.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Perhaps underneath that hard shell of Republican intransigence is a soft, nuggity center of responsible legislative leadership waiting to be freed. Bargains! Driven in the hallowed yet marbled halls of power. Or maybe someplace mustier.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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That's your plan. I'm going to dangle my balls out of my shorts and maybe at the gym. Oh, you know, they're going to lose all their inhibitions on the equipment. You know, actually, Chuck, I would like to work with you on Medicaid reform. And also, I never told anybody this, but I once jerked a guy off in a park. Oh, this elliptical. I just lose my inhibitions.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And, you know, I would probably be just a skosh more receptive to Schumer's theory of gym-based negotiation strategies if it had worked the last time.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Hey, welcome to the Daily Show. My name is John Stewart. We've got a great show for you tonight.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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You know, I'm not here to posture shame. But for a guy who seems to be spending most of his life in the gym, a little less talky talk, a little more core. Second of all, in the gym, they're only being agreeable with you because they want you to leave them alone. In the gym. On the stationary bike. Oh, sure, Chuck. Yeah, I'm definitely going to do that. But I have to tell you something.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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By the way, we were on a break for a week and I got my hair did. Looking pretty sharp. By the way, Senator Chris Murphy, Democrat from the great insurance state of Connecticut, will be joining me later to talk about how the Democrats... Ladies and gentlemen, I got to tell you something. It is Trump's world, and we're just cowering in it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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Pedaling really hard and not going anywhere, it's a great metaphor for the Democratic Party right now.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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But for some reason... There is a persistent fiction within the Democratic Party that if they just hang out with Republicans in the gym or wait out Trump's popularity or give them concessions on a continuing resolution they said would harm the country, that Republicans will finally see the light. And Democrats will be rewarded with productive bipartisanship or...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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If someone's been running a fever since the aughts, that's not a fever. That is their default resting temperature. This fiction that you are inventing, this idea that somehow, oh, they'll come to their senses. It allows Democrats to keep thinking that Republicans are actually the ones in the precarious position.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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It's a great message, except Republicans have gotten everything through. Every f***ing crazy appointment. The guy who wrote the children's book on Russiagate runs the FBI. Tulsa Gabbard, RFK, weekend Fox and Friends guy. They all sail through. Literally, the only one that has failed so far is picking a Chucky doll that runs on cocaine in Viagra for Attorney General.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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And that's just because the Republicans personally hated him. Probably for something he did at the gym. Look, you... You don't understand.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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These Republicans are committed to a plan born of ideological 50 to 60 year project to remake the United States and classifying it as a fever excuses you from having to propose an alternative, coherent vision and allows you to pretend that this is just an issue of messaging and not merit. Boy, are Dems busy fixing the messaging. Ambitious Democrats have a new game plan.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart Knocks Dems' Lack of Vision Countering Trump Agenda | Sen. Chris Murphy

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They're going to yak it up about sports and go on more podcasts or whatever the hell this is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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I really think I'm up to it. Bishop Desmond Tutu. Really? Drunk off his ass. Wow. You know who was not good? Democratic Senate leader Harry Reid. We had him on the show, and he was in a coma. Really? It was so weird. Have you familiar with him?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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He'd written a book about his life. I was asking about his life. And it was literally as though I was telling him a story he'd never heard before. Look at the house you grew up in.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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You're from Brooklyn.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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How are you doing otherwise? Are you, you would like to be the worst guest? First of all, Curb Your Enthusiasm is a great show. Oh, thank you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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It's not very sturdy. Are you jealous that I'm not wearing a tie? I am somewhat jealous that you seem very fit. You almost seem athletic. You see, you have like an athletic build to some extent. Can I tell you something?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Let me tell you why I would have been stymied if you had done that. Yeah. Because I don't know, I don't play with a ball that small. You were doing the gesture you were working with. If you'd be playing with a ping pong ball, you'd say, ha-ta, ha-ta, ha-ta. And I would be stupefied. So you feel if I went like that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Now I feel we're playing basketball.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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It's got no definite space. But please put your feet up. Foot up. Has anyone done this before? No one. No one has put their foot up.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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You're very... You know what I would say that you are, if I may? Not just athletic, aristocratic to some extent. I see you have a suede shoe, a suede sneaker.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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All of it? Underwear, I got the underwear. Would you have them do the underwear? Is that another, is that stepping up your relationship with wardrobe to a more intimate place? To say to them, you know, I enjoy... Yeah, I could go, Hanes 34.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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What was giving your druthers? Is this the outfit that you would or do you feel? Are you costumed? Do you feel or in life? Is this your show? Are these your show clothes? And right after this, you're like, oh, I can't wait to get this pullover off so I can put on my tuxedo. What's your what would you do?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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That's not how you dress. You're right. This is, you know what this is? This is, I run a funeral parlor at night. And so I always dress there, because when you see the families, and they're obviously grieving, and you don't want to show up, obviously, looking like a bon vivant.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Is that true? Yeah, yeah. They were telling me that earlier, and it's... Do you know what that is? If I may say it. You've got a runaway collar. No disrespect to you. It's a signal I send to my children every night. Let them know. It's sweet. I say, kids, watch your daddy. And if you see, I'm going to take one aspect of my clothing. That is so sweet. And I'm going to roll it up.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Carol Burnett had this. Yes, I know. I have this. I don't know what it is about talking to you, but I would like a piece of cake right now. I don't know what it is. I honestly feel like Passover is over and now we're going to have a piece of cake. Bring it out. Come on. Let's nosh. I remember, you know, Saturday Night Live is grueling.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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I was tremendous. I was so good, they said, don't come back. You would shame the other hosts. But, you know, I don't know if people realize the difficulty. You guys are putting on a 90-minute play.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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And it was crazy to see just the sets and the makeup and the costumes and the writing and just how much had to come together.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Is that the error that everyone's trying to avoid?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Hamburger outfit in Oval Office. Done, I'm submitting it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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It was kind of a two-man horse race at that point, but now you got Colbert nipping at our heels. And I'll tell you what, I've seen that kid. He's the future of fake news. That's what I'm thinking.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Here's what I believe. I believe both could be flirtatious. I believe Colbert could seal the deal.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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I believe at the end of the day, Carell would say this. I don't want to go to Benton's.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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He'd be up there with the harpsichord.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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I'm doing very well. How is the, the corduroy seems thick.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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But see, I would... And again, this is nothing against the wife, but that is not... That's not a shirt. You're wearing... That is clearly some sort of coat-shirt hybrid.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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Now, it does seem like underneath the new... It's an older shirt.

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That's the key to a happy marriage. It's those types of compromises. Thank you. At what point in that... Because I've been married... We've been married probably around the same amount of... How long have you been married?

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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So I've been with my wife for about 15 years, married for 10. And I am just getting to the point where I don't have to change my outfits.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

804.809

You know what I get in the house? And this is new as well. Daddy, I don't like the way you smell.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

834.022

That's nice, though. And also a concern for your health, because plaque, one of the bacteria, one of the leading causes of all kinds of distress they're finding these days. Absolutely. So I very much appreciate that. That's nice of her to do that. She loves her dad. You say she, but only one loves the dad?

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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I know you're a big Jets fan. Are you gonna stay around and watch, uh... I would like to see that.

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That's a good one. I mean, I mean, you're wrapped in corduroy. You can't watch. I like you're like a shell of yourself. I mean, you're like a microwavable burrito in that thing.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Talks to Comedy Icons - Part 2

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That's when the boys come over to the house.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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The worst measles outbreak of this century.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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So close. So frustrating to see someone just on the precipice of illiberal leadership, but he just can't put it all together. Is Trump Putin or Xi? Not yet. But there's no question that he's a young upstart. There's a lot of potential. But if he can't bump his numbers in the getting shit done category, he's going to hit the ceiling pretty quick. You know what? Let me have a word. President Trump.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1090.298

Generalissimo. Oh, great Moses. I don't know what your advisors have told you about the authoritarian bargain, but the basic deal is this. The American people look the other way while you disappear undesirables, knuckle under the elites, ban all seven trans athletes from our nation's beloved NCAA fencing tournaments. You know, all the people that are holding us back.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1144.166

You don't even have to have them be on time. You can take over Greenland, demonize Canada, dominate the golfing pro circuit, but in return, our children should be somewhat safe from most Victorian-era diseases. We love our children.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1167.65

We love our children, especially the Rizzler.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

117.935

Saints be praised. Bukele can just give Garcia a ride. You don't even have to give Garcia the middle seat. I'm sure Garcia would just grab the wing and Tom Cruise it over here if he had to. But sadly, Bukele arrived at the White House with just the Miami club promoter clothes on his back and a pocket full of excuses.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1176.687

You want to destroy NPR and PBS, the Voice of America, sell the naming rights of the Washington Monument to hymns.com, use the R word, the P word, the C word, make up your own slurs, have the United States Naval Academy remove Maya Angelou from its bookshelves, but for some reason keep Mein Kampf, which is a real f***ing thing that they did, we'll be fine.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1195.521

We weren't that crazy about this system of government in the first place. But you keep f***ing this up, and some of these lawyers in universities and corporate leaders are going to start to think about suggesting respectfully to each other in a very tightly controlled text chat that someone should reach out to someone who knows someone in your administration to express mild dissatisfaction.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1224.024

Because injustice anywhere is not something we mostly think about. And remember, you don't have that much time to get it right. Because it's not like your vice authoritarian butterfingers is inspiring any confidence.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1250.639

Oopsie. Administrative error. When we come back, Rami Youssef will be joining us. Don't go away. What about Michelle, my guest tonight? The best award-winning actor, comedian, co-created the new animated series, number one, Happy Family USA. Terrible month, yeah, Rumi?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1344.058

I'm so happy to have you here with me. Thanks for having me. I'm so happy. You know, the show, they send me the screeners. Yeah. I get them in advance.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1350.163

I'm very important. You've got that kind of connection. Oh, I get. I don't even have to log in. I just, I touch my computer. It comes right up. I didn't know what it, animated series. I'm watching it. I'm trying to think here we what's happening and then all of a sudden it's September 10th, yeah, 2001 and I'm like And it did, and you made it hilarious.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1408.724

Oh, is there something going on in the government? Yeah, a little. How many years? You said you've been making this for many years. Before 9-11, were you making it? What did you know, Rami?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1431.675

Isn't it wild that we're in eras now, like Trump won. I remember Trump won. Yeah. It was so quaint and simple back then. You know, this is going to sound crazy.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1469.689

He's, like, lying about his weight. It's funny because he's got such a good sense of humor that it keeps him young. I wonder, I mean, do you think, when you're surrounded by that, like, Like, imagine being in a room with all your cabinet secretaries, and they're kissing your ass so hard that it does seem sarcastic.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

149.384

You know, can I honestly tell you, like, this isn't even, the thing that's, like, they're f***ing enjoying this. Like, the two of them. Our president, their president, I guess we'll just have to let him rot in a prison even though he didn't deserve to be there. I don't, you guys don't care about this guy. I'm talking about these two, but somebody else cares about this person.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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Like, do you think he goes back into, like, the bathroom afterwards and be like, do they really think I'm bringing a new era?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1514.017

I mean, the guy. I meant it. I meant it respectfully.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1527.15

Can I ask you a question? Do you think Instagram is f***ing with his self-image, and that's why, like, because he looks at all these Instagram shots of all these other leaders, and he's like, they look ripped.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1583.068

I am hoping that our audience at home right now is rushing out... You can sign up today. ...to register those domain names. Do you do any of that? Do you use social media? Do you... Very sparingly, yeah.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1609.245

That's where I'm at. That's kind of where I'm at. I used to... What was so interesting to me is, like, we've all had this experience at stand-ups. You'll, like, you'll do a room, and, like, there'll always be, like, a table or, like, a couple of tables who, like, aren't digging it. Yeah, for sure. And you're like, okay.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1623.374

And sometimes you'll register it, and, like, maybe it'll get on your nerves a little bit or whatever, but then you go home. Yeah. Social media is like those people that thought you sucked, you have to ride in the cab with them home. Yeah. And, like, the whole time, they're just like, you suck. Yeah. And you're a Jew.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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But if that isn't a sign that I'm a CIA agent. It is so wild, though. You know, there's all these things, and Islamophobia and anti-Semitism are such brethren in, like, different moments, you know?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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You don't like flying or Muslims?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1745.045

I know. We're both from Jersey. I'm going to have to go through our text chains and find out how subtle my Islamophobia has been here. It's there. Yeah. But they'll hit me. I generally, no matter what I'll put on the web, and I try not to do it much, third comment is always, you changed your name, Jew. And you're always like, really? I'm fooling people? Is that? Look at this face.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

175.563

And you just randomly, with no evidence that you'll show anybody, called him a terrorist. And one of the weirder parts about this is the thing, the only thing that seems to upset Trump about the entire situation is having to answer a perfectly reasonable question from Caitlin Collins about it.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1768.258

Like, you'd see this maybe on a Yentl poster. Who am I kidding for all these things? Now, are you still, the clubs are still your favorite?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1799.588

Just joke, joke, joke. And your, can I tell you my favorite? This is going to sound like a crazy thing. Yeah. The show's great, and it's just layered with so many jokes, and yet, and the subject matter can get dark, but it's really clever. It's not cloying. Like, it's really good. Yeah.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1814.793

but there's a pool scene where you go, I don't wanna say you, it's roomy, but it's like a kid your age in 2001 dealing with his friends in a town in New Jersey after 9-11. And there's a pool party. And my favorite part of it is, it's like a Peanuts thing as they're doing a pan across the pool and there's one blonde dude in the pool with floaties on and he's just doing this.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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And it's the every Peanuts character dance to music that it's just animate dancing. How about?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1889.112

I love that the halal cart turned into a piano.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1949.775

When did the music go? Are you music?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1967.025

We could kick it. We would be crazy. We could call it kosher hello. We could do... Why aren't we doing this? I'm open. We could do it. Listen, I have a van. Yeah. I'm a terrible drummer, but I can bring our shit to wherever we play. Yeah. I do not sing. I've never. But the singing in it, the music is great. There's some really funny songs in it.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

1999.624

And what else is next? What's coming? What's next?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

2029.824

Did any of them mention Mountainhead? That was terrible. I don't know. No, that was really good, man. Oh, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, I went immediately to that.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

2044.79

How much fun was it working with Carell? Like, he is, and the deadpan is what'll get you.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

2059.595

I miss all those guys. It's so good to see you, man. Dude, thanks for having me. You're the man.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

2086.44

Hey, that's our show. But before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Ronnie Chang. What's happening, Ronnie Chang? Thank you.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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No offense, Ronnie, but like, you're top five? I mean, I just, you know, just Ali Wong, Lisa from White Lotus, Bowen Yang, I just.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

213.228

Nag, nag, nag. You sound just like the Supreme Court. Nag, nag. But fear not, America. For every time a lamestream media journalist gets shunned, an ass-kissy one gets its wings.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

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Well, I hope you get back safe. Ronnie Chang, everybody. Here it is.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

238.627

Thank you. That's a question I like. That's true. Yeah, that's not a question. I guess it's your favorite kind of question, a compliment. But rest easy, Americans, if there's one thing we all know. It's that first they come for the undocumented migrants. And as long as nobody speaks out, they stop.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

278.922

He's going to do that to U.S. citizens. I think the hosts of The View are about to get administratively errored. I got to tell you, I did not think he would get this authoritarian this fast. I really didn't. I'm sorry. Who could have known? Maybe if somebody out there had yelled at me on blue sky about this, I would have known. But no one did. Except every day. In all caps.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

347.748

So if Trump can put up a monster authoritarian score... You know what? Let's do this Dave Portnoy style. One clip. Everybody knows the rules. By the way, the greatest pizza reviews in the history of pizza. If you guys like pizza. For me, it's like watching porn. We already know... Trump's done a lot of the standard fare.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

364.969

He's attacked the free press, pulled random people off the streets, made law firms and universities bend the knee, announced Department of Justice investigations into an individual whose sole crime was suggesting that the 2020 election had been safe and well-administered. You know, the bad, bad people. But authoritarianism isn't just policies. It's an aesthetic. The opulence of medieval kings.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

387.747

The excesses of Middle Eastern autocrats. It's a Pinterest vibe that speaks to the power of one's position. The riches that are the privilege of the office. Does Trump measure up? Does he have the lack of available wall space?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

40.706

Hey, everybody, welcome to The Dan Show. My name is Jon Stewart. We got us a show for you tonight. The great comedian Rami Youssef will be joining me a little bit later. And then afterwards, we will head to space on Blue Origin. Where I will sing something delightful from the Katy Perry oeuvre. But first, quick update.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

418.071

They visited me in the night and asked me to change my ways. So I held them down and dipped them in gold. I drowned them in gold, liquid gold. Have you ever heard an angel scream? It is just... It is erotic. By the way, if any of you are wondering if the cherubs that are now in the Oval Office are real gold, and I know many of you are wondering that, it is real gold.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

458.37

And there's a very good reason for that.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

481.51

That dude is so blue-collar. Oh, he's down at the factory with the boys. Why can't they make a gold paint that looks like gold that's not illegal?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

492.399

I don't mind them canceling pediatric cancer research, but I hope by the end of the term, we can come up with a good gold paint substitute, because... But, you know, rooms filled with real gold cherubs are nothing if those rooms aren't also filled with the echoes of the most embarrassingly sycophantic hosannas. One clip, everybody knows the rules. You know what? I swear to God.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

541.075

Guys, what does she know? She's the attorney general. She doesn't have the... When I watch those cabinet meetings, I actually think, are they making fun of him? It's so over the top. Mr. President, oh, thank you so much. Your dick is so big. So, your dick is so big, we can barely lift it because it's covered in real gold, not the paint. Real gold. But, you know, any...

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

572.754

Any run-of-the-mill authoritarian can get the praises from those that fear him, the OGs. The real autocrats extract something much, much weirder and humiliating. The forced, uncomfortable laughter. He had a hat on, and then he puts another hat on, the same hat, but still. That's on the North Korean website, funny or you die. And as America's dear leader, Donald Trump also has a tight five.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

642.981

That made no sense, right? Right, yeah. Nothing, right? Did that make any sense to you? Did it make any sense to me? Hey, you better laugh though, right? Oh, oh, put a hat on, put a hat on. It's just so f***ing weird. But the key to the authoritarian regime is the suspension of the normal processes by which you understand the world.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

663.165

The manner by which data and your experiences paint a cohesive, grounded picture of reality. The calling card of an authoritarian regime is that you must suspend that reality, that rationality. And then you test people by pushing the limits of that absurdity.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

68.497

As you know, we've been following the case of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, undocumented migrant from El Salvador, married an American woman, has a kid, living the American dream. Until the Trump administration sent him to an El Salvadorian mega prison by, and I'm quoting the Justice Department here, if I may, is an administrative error.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

703.376

I'm going to say no to either of those numbers. I don't want to be that guy, but he has a front butt. I mean, we all get there. It's fine. You can have it. But what's with... He is forged by Hephaestus. No! And by the way, that medical exam did not only confirm that Trump is physically perfect, his brain is also totally jacked.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

753.829

I think we all know what cognitive tests we're talking about. But I would like to know, do you know what cognitive tests? It's just bullshitting. I took a cognitive test about my memory. What was it?

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

768.937

Trump is such a medical marvel. What's the secret to his good health and youthful appearance? Sense of humor decreases stress that he has. Everyone that knows the president knows how funny he is. That decreases stress. Does it? Sense of humor decreases stress. Keeps you young looking. Is that what I hear you saying? May I, if I may, just for schnicks, offer the counter-argument.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

804.281

Do I look less stressed? No, don't look. I'm hideous. But you know what? He's got a good sense of humor and he's in pretty good shape. May work for your run-of-the-mill authoritarians, your Lukashenkos, your Maduros. Surely Trump is above that C-tier. Donald Trump is a genius.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

850.03

I'm obviously not a scholar in Viking lore. I don't remember there being Beowulfs. Wouldn't it also then be Beowulves? But those are still just reaching for superlatives. Is there anyone else who wants to place him not on Mount Rushmore, but maybe Mount Sinai? Can Trump be the biblical Moses? No! I'm not the most observant Jew.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

874.465

I mean, this weekend, I think I celebrated Purim, but... Isn't Moses the biblical Moses? And by the way, if you were Moses, I do think there were some thou shalt nots that he might want to take a look at. By the way, Moses 6-4-2-18, 48-inch article. But you know what? Even a superhero or a Viking or a mythic figure or a biblical prophet pales in comparison to the genius that we are witnessing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

912.101

He's actually playing 4D chess. President Trump's 5D chess. That's not a dimension. Length, width, depth. Four is time. There's no f***ing five. There's no five. He is a god who has created a whole other dimension through which he plays board games. Let me even see. How do you play five-dimensional Trump chess? Let me see how we do this. So here's how he would probably do it. We lose them for DEI.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

948.02

Okay. Checkmate. I guess that's it. I guess that is 5G. You know, for an authoritarian that awesome, I guess words are not enough. Tributes to a great leader must show, not tell.

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Jon Stewart on Wrongful Deportation and How Trump Fails to Deliver | Ramy Youssef

995.03

He's going to be on all our money and all our f***ing mountains. So Trump's got it all. Authoritarian-wise, the looks, the attitude, the relentless dissent-crushing, all the ingredients to be a top-tier authoritarian. All he needs now is to bring it home with his ruthless competence.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Let me get someone who speaks to your frequency.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1046.578

Now, of course, he did go on to say, lesbians will make it worse. Point is, man, we are humans. We build shit in difficult areas on the belief that we will figure out how to subdue God and nature. For God's sakes, 50 years they made a movie about what a dumb idea it would be to develop this city into the country's second largest metro area. Even they knew L.A.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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wasn't a good place to raise your daughter or your sister.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

109.695

Mainly the tireless and heroic actions of firefighters in the California region. Some of them prisoners fighting with incredible bravery and tenacity. Rescue workers from all over the country. Rescue workers from outside the country. Rescue workers from Mexico! Mexico! Damn your open borders, Biden! I guess they are sending us their best. Ugh!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1098.075

Movies were wild in the 70s. Like, you could do anything in movies. Like, there's no, like, slap court. Like, literally, they're like, Jack, do it again, this time with your fist. Like, they didn't give a . Sometimes things happen that are beyond the bounds of human infrastructure. Although, admittedly, the LA powers that be have not covered themselves in glory at this time.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1143.769

Look, I'm not saying she's Churchill, ladies and gentlemen. Don't worry. When the bombs start falling, don't worry. Just insert useful information here. So yeah, improvements can be made in leadership, in management, in design, in materials, in myriad ways. But sometimes fire a tornado and makes a mockery of human infrastructure and our ability to dictate the terms of our existence on this planet.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1178.134

But the one thing it shouldn't dictate is the cruelty that we would show to those in pain because we don't think they consistently vote right. But if you are going to please. But if you're going to attach strings, I still think this announcement was too far.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1257.817

He's a Canadian economist, former governor of the Bank of Canada and Bank of England. Please welcome to the program Mark Carney. Sir. Welcome, sir. I welcome you to our land, America. We are soon to be... Well, there was a border when I came, John. When was the last time you checked Twitter? So you...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1301.281

You've really involved yourself in, I remember you from 2008, and I truly, I mean this, your work in helping Canada get through the economic crisis of 2008, the financial crisis that hit this country terribly, and I thought made a lot of really painful decisions for the people of this country. Yeah. I thought Canada avoided the worst of that. And I believe you played a very strong role in that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1349.473

You're saying you didn't let... You thought, let's not let the banks... dissolve mortgages into particulate matter, mix it into cups, throw it in the air, and then sell that.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Son of a bitch! That's all it took. That's all it took. So you've gone off now and you've worked with Brexit and the Bank of England trying to ease that. On my idea. Brexit wasn't. Yeah. No, you're Canadian. You're very polite. Very nice. You're never one of those like, I want to leave a union. No, you stay in it until it dies.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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What are they making up there of the overtures and sort of trolling to Canada about being a part of the United States?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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We want to experiment, too. What do you guys want? We can be... You want, like... We can be friends.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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We won't levy tariffs on all your goods as retribution for you not going out with us. We respect your boundaries. Is there a fear now that there will be an economic trade war with Canada? How much of this do you believe is bluster, and how much preparation do you need to do for it?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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You want to know how bad it is in California right now?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Why do I feel like you're breaking up with me the entire interview?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Yeah. No, I'm just getting swiped left hard as hell. Do you think this time, you know, look, I don't know that Americans know that 50 percent of, you know, our fuel comes from Canada.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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You got some solar up on the... Ours only comes from Venezuela. We're that leftist.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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No, so, okay, so that's... It's funny you bring that up. We're taking them over as well. Okay. Are you surprised at, you know, is America generally, you know, I think we've always been known as we like to live our values and speak them. It feels like this administration is going to be more explicit about what's really happening. Hey, what's up Greenland?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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I don't know if you know this, but you have something under your soil that we want, so you're ours. I feel like past administrations would do the same thing, but they would be like, and we're liberating you. They would make it a high-minded affair. Is it easier to deal with someone that is transactional at his core in that way?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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You were just about to lean into like, look, man, if it's late and you're drunk, you can call us. It's cool. But I would rather we mean something to each other so that we get something out of this together.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1680.099

That's what I'm talking about. So right now there is turmoil. Trudeau has resigned. Yes. There will be new elections. Do you know when the new elections are?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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What would be the trigger of the election sooner?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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We're so f***ed. That a country that has been relentlessly bombed for almost three years was like... But it is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, of man's ability across cultural and political and religious lines in times of crisis to appeal to our better angels. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said, we are made for goodness and love and compassion.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Are they looking for a new leader?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Sir, may I recommend to you, with your charm and debonair wit, yet strong financial backbone, that you offer yourself as...

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Because here's what the conservatives have... And this will blow your mind. So the conservatives are run by Pierre Poliev. Yes. Did I say that correctly? Yes. It's a fictional J.K. Rowling name, at best. Pierre Poliev. This is, and this always fascinates me. I want to show this. This is, so Trudeau, obviously. The other guy is Pierre Poliev. It looks like, and he is Trudeau's rival, yes?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1764.887

They look like two fictional boys' school rivals. LAUGHTER In like, or like, Polyam seems like a villain in a like karate kid movie. Like there's something very, very off-putting. What is he like in person?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Yeah. And how did that work out?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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That was his idea, yeah. Ah, and the people now... See, the headwinds for this more right-wing populism, though, are all around the world, and it feels like Canada is no different there. I mean, did Trudeau...

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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bow out because he knew he wouldn't win is is this an attempt to give the the liberal party there a chance i i think it does give the liberal party a chance yes right and he did that purposefully yeah he came to that yeah he came to that conclusion he came to that conclusion or nancy pelosi called him and said

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Or one of your little satirical comedy shows up there did a bit that made fun of him for five minutes and he fell apart. So who are the top contenders right now that you believe give the Liberal Party the best chance? Poliev is going to be their champion, yes? Yes. Who would give the best opportunity?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Did you have the same inflationary pressures that we faced here?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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No, we will debate the absolute level right here and right now.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

1995.408

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror. We just had that election. Yeah. Run. When I say run, I mean not for office. I mean f***ing run the other way. It's so hard. When the headwinds are like that, it's really difficult for a candidate to come in who is saddled with the policies that are... But let's say... Oh, boy.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

2046.778

I am an outsider. Wow. So you're going to be coming in there to say, I have not been in the government. I have worked in the financial markets. I understand all the things that go around trade. I mean, you worked. Look, let's take the California fires. You've done an awful lot with the banks, with insurance industries. So you understand very particularly what's happening out there in California.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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I was going to talk to you about that later.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Hold on one second. Really? Small town. From Alberta. And they've probably been sleeping the whole time they heard the name. Is the bus going to Alberta? What are we doing here?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Let me ask you a question about this, because this speaks to what these Republican politicians are saying. They keep saying, oh, this DEI, Lloyds of London, insurance companies. Ten years ago, they make risk assessments and they change policies. Did they change those policies because they assess the risk of lesbians being in the firefighting department? No.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

217.168

Appropriate. Thank you, Mr. President. I'd almost forgotten your penchant for casual cruelty and dick foolery. Flames! Nice touch on the graphics. Surely you won't be content with just trolling those in dire need. Surely you also see this as a merch-portunity.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

2177.464

Or did they go, climate change is happening, and these fires are going to be more damaging, and they're going to happen more frequently, and so we're going to be changing our rates, and we're going to be dropping policies?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

2221.727

And this gets us to the rub, which I think is why I feel like we're in such a vice when it comes to climate change and political feasibility and what can we reasonably expect people's virtue to accomplish. You know, you have always you've championed with the banking industry, ESG projects. You've championed climate projects.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

2245.79

As soon as these big banks got a hold that Donald Trump was going to be back in office, they all bailed. They all bailed on all these commitments that they made. And you're left in some ways holding the carbon tax bag. Is that going to make your running more difficult? Wow, you packed a lot into that. I did. Can I tell you something? I read your Wikipedia page.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Now, how do you do that? That's the rub. How do you make proactive measures on future disasters feasible in a political moment today? Every time I've seen a gas tax or a carbon tax floating, it's not politically feasible.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Right, but you're not obviously going to take away our oil.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Have you decided to run yet? Because a lot of people in the Liberal Party in Canada have said specifically they will not run. I think they fear the headwinds in this election. Have you decided?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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So, but do you say, well, then I'm going to do it. Well, I don't have a job. I don't have a job, yeah.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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dollar a day. You're being so coy with me. I love the chase. I love this cat and mouse. Well, we had to shake things up a little bit. We are having a... We've spiced up our relationship tremendously throughout this interview. So, congratulations on announcing on this program that you are going to be the leader... We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back after this.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

245.66

Trump was right about almost everything. I wouldn't say he was right about the outfit choice. Rule of thumb, never dress in the same color scheme as the upholstery of your own vehicle. Unless, wait, perhaps Trump has reached his highest form, part man, part golf cart. And apparently, all cholesterol. I guess RFK Jr., stat, okay. But Trump is going to troll.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Hey, that's our show for tonight. But obviously, before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Jordan Plumper. Jordan! Talk to me, man. What do you got on deck for the rest of the week?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Jordan Klepper, everybody. Now, before we go, I also want to just very quickly say, please, I know there are a lot of organizations vying for support. Please consider supporting the California Fire Foundation. They're on the ground. They're working with local fire agencies and community organizations to provide support for impacted residents. If you can, please donate at URL...

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But that's who you are on there. Here it is, your moment of zen.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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The problem now is Republicans appear to want to attach their I told you so's as a condition of funding California's disaster relief.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

321.235

What the is wrong with you? Really, Senator? From Alabama? the state near the bottom in math, reading, and test scores. Next time you get hit by a hurricane, why don't we have a little parent-teacher conference to see that if you got your scores up, you would get the money. Or actually, let's not do it, because you'll get the money anyway, because we're not psychos. That is psychotic.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

347.939

There's something wrong with you. And you know what? And here's the thing. I can do the Daily Show thing. I can run down all the congresspeople and senators on the right calling for conditions on disaster aid that absolutely had the opposite view when it was their state on the line.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

370.993

Shut the f*** up. Because... I can do it, but it doesn't even matter. I'm not even going to do it. Because red states are always the tragic victims of circumstance outside of their control. And Democrats always vote for their aid, whereas blue state disasters are a function of their flawed morality and policy. And if we help blue state survivors, well, what message will that send?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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What lesson will they learn? But fine, if strings must be attached, what be the strings?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

407.074

It's true, the management of the forest. You have to rake the leaves and... shut down the illegal elf tree cookie factory it's uh i understand and and what a great utterly anodyne suggestion i mean what forest couldn't be managed better i mean if you've been to a forest lately chaos it's chaos in the dirt and leaves and and what is that bear shit i'm sure i want to see the manager

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Okay, so we get the money if we have better forest management. Everybody then gets food and clothes. What else?

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

449.248

Oh, water. Yeah, no question. No question. Water for the fire. I'm going to get that message to the firefighters. Toot sweet. Water is so important. Water is a terrific fire root. I don't even want to say the R word. But as I always say, what do you got there, Mr. Fire? Nothing like water. Water works on all kinds of fire, except for one kind of fire, but I don't know which one that is.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But odds are with you. Point taken. But forest management and get some water up here, and then your children may have blankets. Um... These are all great pointers on how to mitigate fires, and I'm sure California has absolutely been trying. Water and forest management, maybe not good enough, but they have it. There's one thing you might not be considering as you criticize them, and that's this.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is John Stewart. We got a great show for you tonight. I didn't even want to tell you this before. Economist Mark Carney is here. Yeah. You asked for it. We listened. We will be discussing whether or not he's going to run to be the Liberal Party of Canada's new leader, or if he will be the governor of our 51st state. We're not sure yet!

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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I don't know what kind of a system you can develop that completely mitigates the risk of fire, plus drought conditions, plus 60 to 80 mile per hour winds, plus delicious wood. Look at this. Look what's happening right there. Do you see this? Fire to tornado. Rake your way out of that. You understand? I love the blame game. I love the blame game. I play it all the time. But the fires aren't out.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

543.624

And the fire to tornado. The only thing that would stop that is the absence of oxygen, which, if I'm being honest, we could do. Hear me out. There's something called a cloche. A cloche is a covering. You've probably seen it in pie shops. You can put a cloche... Now, if I... Just very quickly.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Guys, that's the continental-sized cloche that we had on a previous program suggested for immigration reform. We need a little more casual. Guys, can you check on the sideboard behind the gravy frigates? If it's not there, it's under the sink. That's it. The California cloche. Airtight. It's the best way to smother a Los Angeles-sized fire.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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And if you live in New Jersey, keep a pie fresh in a diner for eight to nine years. The cloche. I am going to make cloche happen. years from now. And then I'm gonna get a hat that says, Don Stewart was right about everything. Hey, look. Hey, all you idiots are dead. Told you so. But these people don't actually care. They're not actually trying to find a solution.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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They're just trying to work their pet issues into this tragic situation. It's confusing. But thankfully, some people are being more explicit in their conspiracy theories.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Who is they, Margaret? Are you perhaps referring to the they-ish people? Is that what it is, Margaret? The very same people that control the area on fire? Why would we, they, destroy the very industry we, they, control? when we also have the means to bring the rains? We have space lasers and we can bring rain. The clues are there, Margaret. Alex knows.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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All right, well, it's Alex Jones. He is certainly known for this type of thinking. I don't believe anyone is going to be taken in by this type of post.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Now I feel sad. But unfortunately, a lot of the information that's out there is not correct. And because of poor forest management, that information just jumps, igniting into larger and larger nonsense infernos that coincidentally seem to reinforce whatever grudge any of these folks have against California, especially their ideology.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Spring breakers. Reading the autobiography of Malcolm X and putting on more clothes. Getting catcalled. Show us your privilege! By the way, as far as what he was saying, those fire... The whole thing is bullshit! The fire trucks were not sent to Sacramento to get emissions testing. They were sent there to be transitioned into minivans without their parents' consent. That's what happened.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But of course, all news pales in comparison to what is occurring right now in the state of California. A horrifying inferno whose danger even now has not passed. But even amongst the tragedy and sadness, there have been incredible moments of human compassion and kindness. Neighbors looking after neighbors. Charitable contributions pouring into GoFundMe from all areas of the world.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But man... If there is one thing harder to extinguish than the fires, it is the most resilient of the right's talking points.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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You just f***ing summoned them. Do you understand? You can't. You can't just say the name three times. Do you know what you just unleashed onto this earth? From now on, it's just infernos and lesbian firefighters. I'm not sure Megan with a Y should be criticizing people named Christina.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But apparently to the right, drought conditions, high winds and densely stacked flammable structures were all fine until they added the lesbians. And then something peculiar happened.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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Lesbian firefighter has attacked black lady mayor. Who will the right support in this opposite of a Sophie's Choice? Really, I mean, in the hierarchy of DEI crimes, black lady, man, lesbian, fire fighter. I don't know which one of those is there. I want to say white whale, but that'd be wrong. Yeah. Look, I'm not suggesting that DEI is not responsible for at least 99% of this tragedy.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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But devil's advocate. This is the Palisades in 1923. And that's not after a fire. It's just dead. It's like a desert. And someone decided to build a city there, a densely populated, albeit beautiful, city in the middle of it. That's what they did. And I'm going to guess that the person whose idea it was wasn't a lesbian firefighter or a black lady mayor.

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Jon Stewart on LA Wildfire Blame Game, Canada Not Into Statehood

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We didn't even have lesbians back then until one snuck here from France in 1934. So stop with the DEI. Oh, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The meritocracy built that city. The meritocracy created the dangerous conditions that made a tragedy like this almost inevitable. Don't take my word for it. I know the liberal argument sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher to your ear.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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It feels like a decade ago that they threatened to suspend habeas corpus. That long ago yesteryear when the Knicks were still up 2-0. And since then, we've had the largest bribe ever given to an American president, the seeming surrender of a trade war we started, and the socializing of our pharmaceutical industry. it is this country.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Four months ago, we were a standard issue democratic constitutional republic. Now we're some kind of anarcho-clepto-socialist communist Silk Road reality show. The only foundational unchanging edict that we can even hang our hats on anymore is that whatever we are now as a country, that country is closed to any refugees. As Stephen Miller said, America is now for Americans only.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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So hopefully there will be no more surprise announcements that overturn that apple cart.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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White South Africans? That's the only group we're opening? What? You already have one. What? Why? You know what, Mr. President? You don't need 30, 37 South Africans. Now you'll make do with just one or two. Wait, this wouldn't have anything to do with the white thing, would it?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Oh, you care about their weight. When we come back, General Stanley McChrystal will be joining us. Don't go away.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Respect his authority. Honestly, so much comes at us every day with him. I can't even sleep, organize, thoughts, eat. I just... And he knows. He knows he's toying with us. Here he is on Tuesday of last week.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight, he is a retired four-star general, served 34 years in the United States Army. His latest book is called On Character, Choices That Define a Life. Please welcome to the program General Stanley McChrystal. Sir! Nice to see you again.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Thank you for joining us. The book is called On Character. Tell me about this idea, character. What is that? And how do we get that in public life?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Guys, a question. What kind of character are we looking for? Well, how would you what is the framing of the national conversation on character in your mind?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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What the hell? What is that? What, are you just choosing good character? Are you just... I look like I sleep in a meat dehydrator.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Do you view this? So here's what I see with the audience a little bit now. And I come out usually in the beginning, and I have a little conversation with them, generally beerless, unfortunately. Yeah. That's a mistake. It really is. It's okay, though, because they'll all get high as soon as they leave. I'm noticing a thirst, like an anxiety about this idea of control.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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I think people feel they've lost that agency by living in a country. And look, people win elections, people lose elections. Sometimes you live with a president that doesn't necessarily reflect you. This feels... different so how does this conversation around character, I've always thought action is the antidote to anxiety what action then within this. can bring some relief.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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There's a thirst out there for conviction, leadership, discipline that they're not getting.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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We need to have those kinds of... What are the parameters when you say we need to think about character? Yeah. What are the parameters that come to your mind when you think about that? Is it Boy Scout pledge stuff, like be courteous, kind, and forgiving, all that sort of thing? Or is it something different?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Oh, good. So we won't know how to prepare. Should we wear our good pants? or the ones we piss in. But fine. Don't tell us this big announcement.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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So how do you square that? It brings up such an interesting conversation because the worlds that we might inhabit would have a very different view. I might look at the January Sixers and go, that was a lack of character. You know, one man's terrorist, another man's freedom fighter. How do you square that? And what do you do with people that you think stepped over a red line?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Is the idea if I had just had Fox News on? I would have been doing that on Nancy Pelosi's desk like that that just does. There must be some incontrovertible truth though is is there not we can't be yeah is the idea that we are Al Qaeda Al Qaeda is us that that's hard to square.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Tell me in practice, so you have to negotiate. You're in war. I'll refer to either the counterinsurgency in Iraq or in Afghanistan. You are dealing with, on one level, ideological warriors, maybe in Afghanistan. On another level, mercenary to some extent. You go in there with a bunch of money and go, what are they paying you? I'll pay you this. How did you negotiate? Find common ground with them.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Did you have to? Where does the wisdom of this come from for you?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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And you have to be, of course, hard on yourself as well because... So is that, you know, the book starts, you famously, you did an interview for Rolling Stone during the Obama administration and where you were critical of maybe some of the tax that we had taken in the war, the way it was being prosecuted, not enough supply, things like that. And you resigned because of that.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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That's how you open this book. Right. Is that where you're reflecting on yourself?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Why are you mentioning it? Is it sweeps week? Is that what this is? But fine. We will keep our eyes out for any announcement bombshells. And on Friday, I think we got one.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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I don't want to say anything about that. She's here. She can hear you right now. I see her right over there.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

1969.066

It's basic cable, sir. It's not... You really should have gone on Colbert. I think that... If you want stature and reach... No, I mean, as we say...

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

1995.281

So you look at me. Okay. But it brings up such an interesting thought because so I'm reflecting on when this happened to you. It was basically it was an article where you said some things that might be intemperate for a man in uniform or in command. That's really it. There was no secrets divulged. Now you're watching the secretary of defense Snapchatting his wife.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

2020.064

Hey, we're bombing at eight, you know, doesn't resign immediately. Is that character because it's not you resigned because your sense of duty and character felt that you would let yourself down and let the country down? But is there character in the reason he's still there is loyalty. And isn't that a character trait that's also valuable? How do you process what's happening now?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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How much of an impediment to a national conversation about character is the reality distortion field about, you know, incontrovertible things that are true or not true And how do you have a conversation about character in that environment?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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is actively looking at suspending due process and the rule of law. That's a big announcement. Big enough for Stephen Miller to risk bursting into flames because of the touch of God's sunlight.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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And I do think there is a certain now mindset that what is rewarded now is result and not process and character. It's, you know, we're in a different situation. But I would even say expand your aperture on this. It's not just about character. I do think there is a certain lacking of national conversations on everything. Truth and reconciliation for the American people with each other.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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General Stanley McChrystal. Quick break. We'll be right back after this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Hey, let's open tonight. Before we go, though, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Jordan Klepper. Jordan!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

2396.71

Jordan Klepper, everybody. Jordan Klepper. You've just got to do that with your mother. By the way, also, hey, before we go, quick announcement. Here at The Daily Show, starting a little nonpartisan initiative in partnership with Headcount, which is not what it sounds like. The initiative is called Indecision Take a Seat. 70% of elections last year, uncontested, completely.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

242.103

Really? So back when slavery was legal and the treatment for diarrhea was amputation. But that being said, this is a big announcement.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

2422.368

We're hoping that can change because democracy works better when you've got some choices there. So sign up. You'll get information on how to run for school board races, city council, leagues of extraordinary gentlemen, all the things you want to be. So if you're tired of complaining about who's running things and would like other people to complain about how you're running things...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Scan the QR code there or go to the link and learn more. Now, here it is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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Just, just eyebrows. The Trump administration is thinking of tearing up the Constitution. So here in Washington, we're hearing a lot of, huh. One legal scholar even said, that's weird. So maybe that's the announcement. Suspension of habeas corpus, unless there's something else.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

295.865

You may say to yourself, well, that can't be the announcement. Because that's just not that big a deal. Yet in this new world that we live in, this announcement registers the same as suspending habeas corpus on the eyebrow-o-meter.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

321.94

Hey, hey, hey, Jeanine! You're going to be the new U.S. attorney in D.C., Yeah, I know! We're surprised, too! That is, by the way, the sound. Oh, also, they're suspending habeas corpus. So maybe... Maybe that's the big announcement. But hey, we've got until today for any other announcements. Was there anything else?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

388.627

What? Cutter is giving us a plane that Trump gets to keep. He's like the reverse Oprah. I get a jet and that's it. I get a jet for my library. Why does his library need a jet? Why would your presidential library? Yeah. Hello. I'm calling from Europe and I need a book. about Trump by morning. And the book must travel in the comfort and style one can only get from Qatar.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

449.758

I didn't even know water could go there. Okay. Holy crap. That is not a plane. That is a flying f***ing palace. I'm not going to tell Trump how to run his business, but I would steam the shit out of those carpets. But hey, it's a jet from Qatar. We can trust them. They're not suspect like Canada or... Working to undermine us, like all of our other democratic allies in Europe.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

489.824

Trump's going to take a $400 million jet from people he would expel from Columbia University. I think, you know what? This is shocking. This is shocking. I think I know what this news might do to our eye pubes.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

521.073

Actually, that's how the plane flies. It overcomes Earth's gravity through the power of the raised eyebrows. Obviously, the president would understand that a gift of this magnitude from a government with questionable ties to terror organizations, combined with Article 1, Section 9, constitutional prohibition against the president accepting a foreign flying palace.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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He would understand that that's a legitimate. I'm just kidding. He was appalled that you'd even ask.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

566.88

It's not a free jet. That's the point. You know the expression, there's no such thing as a free lunch? That's about being skeptical of the motives of somebody who gives you a sandwich. A sandwich, a BLT. Now, imagine that that BLT has an engine Nine bathrooms. and funds proxy wars.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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So in the dizzying run-up to this big announcement of the possible suspension of habeas corpus or maybe the appointment of another Fox News star or the naked bribery of our highest elected officials, none of those were Trump's big announcement.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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I am having wanted that for years. Pharma has exploited the American consumer while we have in turn subsidized their whole industry with tax incentives and direct funds. I like this. But without getting into the weeds, explain this thing that I've wanted for a very long time like I'm incredibly dumb.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

658.841

If you think about it mathematically. I don't want to brag, but I often think about numbers mathematically. How is this going to work?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

706.833

Europe, Eureka, Euclid. Yeah, here it is. Equalize. I thought it sounded familiar. Look. He's trying to kill us all. Look, I would like to think that the tenacious pleadings of progressive leaders like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders helped make this possible.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

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that you can't. I have diarrhea. What's happening? Unfortunately, it turns out, credit for the biggest, most important announcement in the history of this presidency goes to someone else.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

79.289

Thank you very much. Man! Welcome to The Daily Show. We got one for you tonight. My name is Jon Stewart. What a program we have designed for you a la carte. It's going to be fantastic. Our guest tonight, General Stanley McChrystal, will be joining us. Wrote a book. Chances are I will McRib him about the McRack war. All right. First... President Donald Trump. God. No, no, no.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

805.935

That took a turn. Top guy, brilliant, you know him, famous, bit of a chubs. Anyway, I'm sure public press coverage is a rough way for this guy to find out that he is saved in Trump's phone as neurotic fat friend. But what else can you tell us about this friend who's a very famous, successful businessman?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

847.091

The fat shot? Do you read any of your briefings? The fat, he takes the fat shot? You know, the fat shot. I got another friend, brilliant, real estate mogul. He takes the dick stiff bills. This guy takes the fat shot. This guy takes the dick stiff bills. I'm sorry, continue the story about this fat of a friend of yours.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

897.508

Yo, Rickles, that is ice cold. Your friend is, like, opening up, like, oh, I took this bad drug. He's like, he's not worried. He's like, I'm drunk. This poor guy. He's just catching strays in the middle of a presidential press conference. Trump's talking about drug pricing reform, and he's like, hey, when this guy goes to the hospital, the nurse gives him 50 cc's of Crisco. He's fat.

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

923.092

Hey, my friend, he's very successful, went to London, and when they saw him, they changed the name of Big Ben to just Ben, because this guy's fat. He's a fat piece of shit, this guy. Anyway, back to life-saving drug pricing. Again, President Trump, what does any of this have to do with pricing?

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Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

982.941

By the way, I don't know if anybody realized, but the fat shot somehow turned into a fat pill in the middle of the story. It's how you know the story is true.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Thanks Qatar for Their Generous Jet Bribe & Accidentally Does a Socialism | General Stanley McChrystal

996.187

But, you know, whether the story is true or not, Donald Trump's point is, if you find yourself in the socialized health care systems of London and you want to run out and get some Ozempic and some vision chips, don't bother, because his fat f*** of a friend... Ate them all like a pot of orcas on a tuna bender. But the point is... Right now, his poor friend is at home going, don't look at me.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

100.735

Emphasis on the... I'll just go now. Let's just... But first, the Super Bowl was last night, and, man... Oh. It was on television. It began with the teams being introduced from heaven. And it's just weird. And it ended with the Kansas City Chiefs in hell.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1035.751

Well, it's been a good run, America. It's looked like we're becoming less like the constitutional republic it's been for 250 years and more like the monarchy that we all fought to escape from. But I think the important thing to...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1091.024

Is that, wait, is that, hold on. Do my eyes deceive me? Is that, is that young John Oliver? Are you here to offer America your wisdom and counsel?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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Ambassador Oliver. Go ahead. For a moment. Please. America, yes, we are having a bit of trouble with democratic governance. But I don't think we want to abandon our republic and go full empire.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1252.835

I appreciate you for stopping me on that one. Not to be short-sighted, but spoiler alert, John, things didn't end up so great for the British Empire.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

132.977

So congratulations to the people of Philadelphia who immediately, who immediately, I disagree by the way, who immediately celebrated their victory by attacking their own city. Killing their own city. Die, Philadelphia. They were mashing their own city, doing tens of dollars worth of damage. Yeah, that's right. I'm implying it's a shithole. Give Saquon back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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We really have become our father.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1367.775

Thank you very much. Last week's tonight, premieres this Sunday on HBO. When we come back, David Remnick will be joining us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1452.524

My guest tonight, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, author and longtime editor of The New Yorker, which is celebrating 100 years with a special anniversary issue out today. Please welcome David Remnick, sir. Very exciting. 100 years of the New Yorker. And this, a special treat, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know if you can see this. It is their swimsuit edition. It is...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1495.031

Was this... Is this the original cover from... That's from 1925.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1518.882

Didn't arise. So... So... You should enter that in the caption contest, David. John Oliver warmed it up pretty well. Yeah, he warmed it up pretty good out there.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1541.82

Yeah. What was it that turned it? Why in three months? Did something happen?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1581.471

Really? At that time, were the illustrations the majority of it, or were the articles the majority of it?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1605.092

And you know the writer was like, 500 words, I'll never make it. And it was awful. It was dreadful. Really? Yeah, yeah. And now, 100 years later then, when you're carrying the mantle of something that has been here for so long, though, it does present... an extra burden and challenge. You don't want to be the guy that's at the... Right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1623.931

You don't want to be the last guy out the building, and it's changed so much. So in this more challenging media environment, to do long-form... You buy this and you... I don't remember what that's called, but you look at it... And read. Read. Yeah.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1672.362

I will say... For me, because the circadian rhythm of the news has become the circadian rhythm of Twitter, I almost think it's leading that sort of incentivized outrage and hate and things that I find great solace in long-form journalism. It really is a comfort food, but also... There's not a lot of people out there who are taking the time to contextualize things.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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I thought it was a singing group. It's exciting.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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Not intimidated by the moment.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

177.551

But of course, my favorite moment was the inexplicable post-victory horse race where the winner stands triumphant atop the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum. That's not Photoshop. The horse ran up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, reared up on its hind legs, and went, Adrian!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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Is this, have you, you've been in this a long time. Yeah. Is this a media moment that is reminiscent to you of any other analogous?

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Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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As though they had a project in mind that they were going to. I don't know what year it was named for, but damn it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1834.855

Is there a break glass moment for you in this? You know, we talked about it earlier with the audience about not overreacting to each individual outrage and moment. And is that frustrating? Do we do we keep ourselves on DEFCON? And I don't know which one is the worst. Nine, ten.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1882.417

Yeah. No, we were talking again. Action is the antidote for that anxiety. The question is, what have you what have you learned from deterring this kind of executive action? Because the real moment to me will be that sort of Marbury versus happening. Madison moment where, you know, they'll say, well, enforce it. Well, who enforces it? I guess the U.S. Marshals. And if the U.S.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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Marshals work for the DOJ and the DOJ is run by somebody who tells them, no, don't enforce it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1941.723

That might have been my favorite moment that I've seen, where he goes, like, what are the Democrats going to do? And he's like, I hope. Hopefully one of the Republicans will be like, this is crazy. We shouldn't. I want to lose. Yeah.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

1964.827

Do you, as you, and you've spent time talking to people that are obviously very informed within Democratic Party, it's their beat. Do they sense there is anything, I look at this as, this is a 50-year project that the Republicans have run to reset the country to its not just pre-Great Society, not just pre-New Deal, but as even Trump is saying, like robber baron ethos.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

2011.398

Right. That's different. So what are... If you were going to say, you know, the people, there's going to be protests, there's going to be those things, but at this moment, it is broadly popular. The agenda that has been enacted is... If we had a revote today, he would probably do better than how he did on.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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I mean, that's for any president really in this day and age to have that kind of popularity is really unusual.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

2050.795

OK, well, thanks for being here. It's incredible to me how there really is a rudderlessness amongst the opposition party.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

2096.9

I'm going to say this right now. The editor of one of the most esteemed magazines in American history just told the Democrats, sack up. Shocking. You heard it here first. Shocking.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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I think it's, I don't know what they stand for. I don't know what their principle is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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I almost wonder, you almost want to say to them, you have to exist outside of him. It's as though they define themselves almost entirely by reactions to his movements, you know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

2273.671

Well, it seems like that's the point of it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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If you were to come to me and say, I want to make government more efficient, I want to make it more effective, there's a lot of things in here in the way that we do it and it doesn't work, I'd be highly on board with that. It's something that I've screamed about it for years.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

2328.275

THEY DON'T VIEW IT IN THAT WAY, THOUGH, SO I THINK THAT'S PART OF THE DISCONNECT IS Thank you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

237.639

First of all, why do you fly around in a Hyatt hotel room? Second of all, define proclamation? You don't know what a proclamation... Or do you just want her to say what the actual proclamation... I'm sorry, I interrupted. Go ahead.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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, , , , . . . . . con con con un�.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

272.608

It's true. Bigger than the Super Bowl. In fact, my favorite thing about Gulf of America Day are the commercials. It's very historic. I'm sure we'll look back on this day fondly when America is swallowed up by the rising waters of the Gulf of America. You know, it turns out it's kind of a weird thing. Airplanes might not be the best place to make bigger than the Super Bowl announcements.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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even bigger than the Super Bowl.

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Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

325.492

It shut him up, even for just a second. I think airplane pilots must be the most powerful force in the universe. I feel like the Democrats have to get themselves an airplane pilot. Sorry for the interruption, but you can't do that. Maybe they'll let Schumer. Schumer will be the pilot. But forgive me, I seem to have forgotten. What does calling it Gulf of America do? Do we get all its fish now?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

377.594

Everything Trump does is all part of making America great again. Order one. Roll back everything from the previous not great administration. Regulations on the environment. Regulations on the Second Amendment. The Title IX guidance. And not just the big shit. You want to make America great again, you can't skimp on the details.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

406.737

You... Okay, he's right on this one. He... He is right on this one. Those straws are f***ing terrible. Objectively, I'm supposed to have some weird tissue paper dissolve in my mouth just because turtles can't figure out straws aren't food? No. Don't eat the tubes, you stupid turtles. So Trump is making America great again by taking us back to 2016.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

441.97

But obviously, if we're going to make America great again, we can't stop in 2016. We've got to keep pushing to that place when America was truly great.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

463.468

So, looks like it's the 70s. Oh, like you don't know who Burt Reynolds is. If you're going to make us great, you're going to have to roll further back than the 70s. What do you got? We're going to stop the destructive and divisive diversity, equity and inclusion. Yeah, the 70s won't fly. 70s was all about women's lib and Stonewall. Now, my friends, we got to go back further to make America great.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

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And ladies, when we do go back, don't worry. It's all going to work out for you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

536.291

But ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna go back to the old days. With regular tits. Not the ones that disgustingly dissolve in your mouth. Jesus. But let's not stop in the 70s there, folks. Not even in the... Let's keep going. Because that sounds like the 50s, and the 50s are still too inclusive. I mean, by then, Italians and Irish were considered white. No, that's too far. Keep going back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

584.359

America's greatness awaits.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

600.748

Okay. There we go. 1870s. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And of course, while America presently is still pretty rich, apologies, Luxembourg. Point taken. Who wouldn't trade our current environment for America's 1870s tariff-driven, becandled, tuberculosis-laden, pre-industrial heyday? We were so wealthy, we had commissions set up. What to do with all the money that we were taking in?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

637.469

Quick point of order, though. To the extent that we were at our richest from 1870 to 1913, it wasn't so much we as like four guys. And we called them robber barons as a sign of affection. Meanwhile, the rest of America, the leading cause of death was falling into a vat at work.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

65.838

Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. And man, we worked almost all day on tonight's show. We've got a great one for you. David Remnick will be joining me later. He's the editor of The New Yorker magazine. They're celebrating. What an erudite crowd. celebrating their 100th year at the New Yorker, and he and I will be discussing the difference between umlauts and diuresis.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

664.738

And it got to the point where even the robber barons realized that the only way this glorious era in American history was going to end was either full-scale f***ing revolution or reasonable compromise, which is how we ended up with stuff like income tax and labor laws and workplace safety guarantees. So let's really tread carefully in the greatness way back machine.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

726.8

You were picking berries in a field before your bar mitzvah? I mean... By the way, how old are you if you were picking berries before there were child labor laws? Because you look great. Is the key to good skin working the fields as a child? Now, I hate to bring this up, but if we are going back to the 1870s and before, does that include every diversity initiative?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart & John Oliver on America's Trump Monarchy Era | David Remnick

786.889

Don't bring us your tired and poor huddled masses. Do you have any mathletes? Any doogies, Hauser? We will take all of your Sheldons, young and old. For those of you at home who might fear that the president's desire to take us back to our nation's historic greatness may tread into unconstitutional action, fear not.

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because the brilliant design of our nation allows for the co-equal branch of the judiciary to stand as a bulwark against tyranny, as judged in the landmark decision of 1803 Marbury v. Madison, which, as you know, is when James Madison lost the historic Supreme Court case to Stéphane Marbury. Marbury ran him out of the building and established our foundational separation of powers.

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Of course they're allowed to adjudicate the boundaries of that power. That's the whole f***ing point of the judiciary, to interpret whether those powers are legitimate. You went to law school, mother f***er. The alternative is that... Acting. The only alternative is that the executive determines for himself what is constitutional. At which point, there would be no guardrails against... Oh.

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Hey, Congress. Hey, buddy. You got a little separation of powers problem. I was wondering any chance you might be reasserting your authority. Opposition party. Democrats, you ready to do some oppositioning?

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That's the sales pitch. We just need someone on their side willing to lose everything for progress, like a Russian dog being shot into space. You can see the Democrats' backbone on our new show, America Backslides, starring Dan Goldman as hopeful loser. But fine. We have to rely on Republicans in Congress to be a check on Trump.

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I'm just spitballing. We gerrymandered the shit out of that place. and appoint a bunch of Democrats to the state Supreme Court and cut all the power out from... No? No. No, no, no. Okay. All right. Yeah. No, no.

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Was it only a structural issue? They're gonna applaud. Uh... Did you make any changes to the messaging to connect? Because, again, I don't want to give the impression that I think that this election the Democrats lost because structurally things were against them. I think they have a messaging issue. I think they have a what do they stand for issue.

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Most Americans have never heard of them.

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The delirious, almost uncomprehending excitement for a people celebrating a suddenly bright and hopeful new future. Yes, even the people of Syria are celebrating the New York Mets signing Juan Soto. Chanting. You heard them. You heard them in the streets. Chanting. I can only assume we're going to the series. I kid, of course.

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And you're running to be the national DNC chair. Yes, I am. You are outside of the establishment. Look, one of the things that's been difficult for the Democrats over these past years is they have been a real status quo establishment party. They suppressed, I think, Bernie's role in the 2016 election. You know, they've put their thumb on the scales pretty clearly. You're an outsider.

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I think the difficulty is and it's the kind of rhetoric that I very much appreciate. I don't know that I felt like they've governed with that urgency that you're that you're speaking with, you know, and that's the part. How connected are the Democrats even here in the audience? You know, a lot of people talk about, well, geez, do you think there were structural issues? Is that why we lost?

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It was pretty clear this was a whooping on narrative. that I let me let me personally disagree.

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And Democrats... But that was the argument that the Democrats were making, that he's going to make it worse. I guess... But this is... I think we're saying the same thing. I think we're saying the same thing.

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You were saying people making less than $50,000 don't really connect with the news so they don't hear our message. But what they do feel is your governance. Yes. That's my point. Yeah. And I agree with that. I think part of it is Democrats are defending a status quo that people feel is not delivering on the discomfort they have in their real lives.

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Actually, I was thinking, do you think we just didn't spend enough time with the Cheneys?

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It's like wrestling a bear. You're a giant man with a golden tongue. What do you think, ultimately, because I completely agree, one of the fundamental problems that the Democrats have had is they co-signed to this sort of what they call the neoliberalism, economic supply side, deregulation, NAFTA, all these other things, and they never clawed it back.

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And what we keep hearing is, well, we just need to raise taxes on billionaires. But if you haven't convinced your voters that... The money that is raised will be spent wisely and with value. None of it's going to matter.

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Those images were jubilant Syrians celebrating the end of the 50-year rule of the murderous, despotic Assad family. A result that would have seemed incomprehensible even two weeks ago. And you know what's the real deal? Because they sealed it with the universal symbol of fallen dictatorships, the traditional toppling of the statues.

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Look, the Democrats have a harder road to hoe because they're the party that believes government needs to be there and play a vital role in balancing out corporate interests and helping people's lives. It's not nihilistic like the other, which is like blow the whole thing up and reduce it to the size you could drown in a bathtub.

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So is that a message of competence that people can wrap their heads around in the Democratic Party? You have to prove it out to be able to earn trust. Have they done that in Wisconsin? They've done that in Wisconsin.

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When you do this, I'm assuming that the Democratic National Committee has meetings. Yes. And you're at those meetings. Yes. And you say this with that great passion. You don't use words like damned because we're a delicate party. What is their response to it? Do they throw analytics at you? Do they throw data?

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Because I have watched the people that were running these presidential campaigns on a variety of platforms, and I've been stunned at the lack of accountability or even reflection. And I'm curious if that's been your experience in the meetings.

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They pulled them down with rope. They toppled the horse one. They knocked over the one where Assad signaled field goal. They even paraded Assad's head through the streets like a decapitated Charlie Brown in the Macy's Day Parade.

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No, no, I don't mean cynicism. I mean defensiveness. Defensiveness.

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That's how we do it in Wisconsin. It blew my mind that they were like, we had strangers knocking on people's doors three times. And you're like, you're lucky no one got killed. But you have to do that for years to get to the point where it actually connects. So your energy, though, I have to tell you, and I have talked to DNC chairs and people that have been interested, you have a different energy

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than they do. I'm telling you, they have a more corporatist vibe. That's been the vibe of their... I can remember Tim Kaine, God bless, good dude, but came on the show when he was DNC chair and he was like, we have door knockers. And I was like, oh my God, we're in the shitter. Like... The passion that you're bringing, boy, that feels like what it needs in this moment. I really do feel that way.

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You are approaching it from a much more populist, bottom-up standpoint than I've heard in the past, other than Howard Dean's sort of 50-state strategy. I really appreciate it. I appreciate it.

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Is someone writing this down? !

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Stop with the analytics. Just sign one. Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize. I went back to the Mets. Dead on. Dead on. The caution is killing effective governance. It's that fear. If you come from a place of fear and not from a place of passion and belief, you lose.

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And if I may, a quick word to the many remaining despots in the Middle East. It is my deepest hope that when you see this footage, you realize once and for all that you are really skimping on statue structural integrity. Because when you are overthrown, and you will be, they're just going through these statues like it's tissue. I mean, this one here, look at this one here.

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Deep secrets. Yeah. I really appreciate you coming by and bringing this. I'm telling you, you had a dispirited group of people wandering in the desert of feeling that they didn't know. Thirsty for leadership. You have provided it for them today. We are announcing right now, Ben Wickler. is a nominee for president of the... No. No.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No, no, no. One year second. A second. No. I'm running for chair of the Democratic... It's done. This is official.

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That is our show. But before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Michael Kosta, everybody.

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Michael Kosta, everybody. Here it is. Your moment is up.

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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Guy just pushes it over with one hand. It's all, boom, it's just one guy. This statue is a symbol of my eternal power and iron fist that, oh no, don't touch it. It's just clay and pressed wood shavings. Father always told me if it's worth putting up a symbol of autocracy, it's worth doing it right.

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And while the dictators could have made it fun for people by filling the statues with candy or something, Assad's former subjects are still finding a way to have fun with the toppled totems. It's like their new public transport system. Some kind of Syrian version of a Club Med banana boat.

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By the way, I don't speak Arabic, but I'm pretty sure that what they were chanting there is, mustache rides five cents. Oh, I know that fella there is feeling the sweet taint of freedom. But while statue Assad is being teabagged in the streets, actual Assad has left the building.

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Assad fleeing with his family to Russia, where he had been granted asylum on humanitarian grounds. Oh, that's so sweet.

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Yes, Putin has given Assad humanitarian asylum and then immediately sent him to go fight in Ukraine. They're very, they're very shorthanded. But obviously, it's a great decision by Assad. I think no leader can go wrong in their exile choice by posing one simple question to themselves. What would Steven Seagal do? But if Assad is in Russia, you know what that means. Nobody's home at the palace.

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It's open house, people. The estate sale begins. Crowds are pillaging the palace. They are sitting in his chairs. They are taking pictures in his chair. They are stealing more chairs. Was there some kind of terrible seating problem in this country? The people are rushing the palace, and they're just taking the chairs. People are coming out like, don't bother going in. The good chairs are gone.

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All that's left is money, jewelry, and antiquities. In fact, I want to show you real quick my favorite moment from the looting of Assad's palace. A gentleman in the palatial room, frustrated that this chair is not reclining. Are there no depths to Assad's depravity? Where are the cup holders?

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And obviously, this is surprising because in that part of the world, you'd think there'd be an abundance of at least Ottomans. an empire of them. What was startling to me is how quickly the whole thing unfolded. I mean, how long did it take to overthrow the Assad regime? The regime overthrown by rebel fighters in just 11 days.

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How did they manage to end a decade-long civil war and defeat the entire Syrian military in just 11 days? And... Wait, zoom in on there.

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Is that... Zoom... Are you f***ing kidding me? No! There's no way! That guy! What? How did... Is... Is that where he rode that city bike? Is that...

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Boom! Welcome to The Daily Show.

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Actually, it obviously couldn't have been that guy. Today, they did appear to catch that guy today at a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania. It's true. Look, I'm sorry, guys. Apparently, a bystander at the McDonald's ratted him out. And normally, I would say, snitches get stitches. But obviously, without pre-approval, there's really...

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My name is John Stewart. Man, do we have a good show for you tonight. The chairman, not the alderman, not the assistant secretary, the chairman of the Wisconsin Democratic Party. Only at The Daily Show does that get a big round of applause, really. Wisconsin Democratic Party. Ben Wickler is going to be joining us to discuss the future of the National Democratic Party.

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Seriously, though, I want to meet the rebel mastermind who overthrew this entrenched regime.

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My God, all hail Syrian John Turturro. Tell me more about this modern-day George Washington.

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Syrian rebel leader Abu Mohammed al-Jolani, who's been on the U.S. terror watch list since 2013.

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Hope he never ends up in a McDonald's in Altoona. Okay, so we've got a former Al-Qaeda guy in charge now. What does he have planned for the new Syria? I'm assuming it's some Taliban-esque, brutal, fundamentalist dystopia.

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Conquest of mercy and love? I think that's how Taylor ended the Eris tour. Wait, the new leader of Syria is a Swifty? How many terror groups is that guy in? This is dope. This is dope. I'm going to switch you. Seriously, though, how did an Al-Qaeda associate suddenly turn into Deepak Chopra?

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Who amongst us hasn't gone through an emo phase or a goth phase or a... 9-11 phase, you know. You know how kids are. I don't like jihad anymore, Dad. I'm into horses. Jelani's purported transformation to a more benevolent governance gives me hope as our country goes through its hopefully peaceful transfer of power to hopefully a more humbled and mature leader as well.

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Or not. That is, of course, the incoming United States president, and I'm assuming future statue haver, Donald Trump. who this weekend was in Europe, continuing the long American tradition of not waiting for the inauguration to become president and head overseas and meet with allies and remind everybody how weird he is about shaking hands.

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Top down, up down, bottom, side to side, grab it, hit me on the flippity. And how seamlessly Trump resumed his official duties of looking bored as shit in meetings. This is so dumb. Now, normally, the first lady, Melania, would have been there to say to Donald, sit up!

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But in another stroke of weirdness, Trump was apparently traveling with his predecessor's wife, attending the opening of the Notre Dame Cathedral with Jill Biden. It was a rare moment of conciliation, one that would have given this country hope had it not immediately been undermined by the returning president releasing an actual cologne ad belittling and sexualizing said moment.

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You won. You won. You don't have to push merch anymore. I find it hard to believe I'm saying this, but it's beneath you. I mean, for God's sakes, you don't see Jolani out there pushing product.

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When we return, Ben Wickler will be joining us. Don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight...

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He is currently the head of the Wisconsin Democratic Party, running to be chair of the Democratic National Committee. Please welcome to the program Ben Wickler. Sir! All right. All right. All right. Thank you. Thank you for coming in.

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But first, ladies and gentlemen. We can often get cynical about the state of things in the world, fall in a cycle of despair, as though the horrors and deprivations of our modern world can never be overturned or undone. But then at our lowest, we get images like these from this weekend. A moment in time of pure, unalloyed joy.

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From Wisconsin, the Democrats, and I'm getting it, you know, we take a little questions and things from the audience early on, and the biggest question that we get is, no follow-up, and then the tears. Sometimes vomiting. It appears the Democratic Party is slightly broken. You run the Wisconsin Democratic Party, which was broken before you took it over. There was a supermajority in Wisconsin.

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The Supreme Court of Wisconsin was diabolically making changes to withstand power. Scott Walker was the governor. How did you turn that situation around?

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Undemocratically so, because through all those methods, like what New York, the Democrats in New York have tried to do is gerrymander it, you know, even if it was closer than it should be. Those were the methods they undertook.

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We're supposed to trust this guy because he wrote The Art of the Deal. You ever say, I got the book. I got the book, Art of the Deal. Yeah, that's why we're supposed to trust him. You ever look at Chapter 9 in Art of the Deal? It's about how smart Trump is about his casino in Atlantic City. Oh, oh, yeah, Chapter 9. I built a casino in Atlantic City. I'm a business genius.

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Whatever happened to the casino, Donald? Trust me. Look, you make a big announcement, but your reciprocal tariff formula was just the trade deficit divided by imports equation. And when you got busted on that, you threw out this ridiculous calculus problem that's just shapes that it boils down to the trade deficit divided by imports.

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which is the formula that got the rich country of Lesotho hit with 50% tariffs. Lesotho. Yo, your free ride's over, you denim-making fat cats. But we continue to blame everybody else in the world that we designed and policed after World War II. We're the richest country in the world ever. We're not the world's victims. If we have inequalities in this country, that's on us.

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It's not a supply problem. It's not unfair trade for the most part. It's an investment and distribution problem. It's our f***ing fault. And I'm not saying we can't make adjustments and renegotiate things, but it didn't have to be this reckless. You killed the hostage and then went, so, ransom?

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Financial destruction not seen since the pandemic. And this time, there's no controversy over how it all started. There's no wet market. You, Trump, released the contagion. It's your lab leak. And it's right out in the open. This is like if the researchers at the Wuhan Institute of Virology walked out to the Great Lawn with a Tupperware and went, we have an exciting announcement.

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When we come back, Rob Emanuel will join us.

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My guest tonight, former two-term mayor of Chicago. He has worked for three Democratic presidents, served as U.S. ambassador to Japan under Joseph Biden. Please welcome to the program Rahm Emanuel. What's happening, man? You were back. You were in Japan. Yes. As the ambassador. And it's still in L.A., Oh, but until a week ago. I was going to say, check your phone.

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Then you come back, and you recently just took a new job. What did you, what's your new job?

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Terrence! Now, you might remember when Donald Trump was reelected, Wall Street was thrilled, excited about deregulation, tax cuts, and the fact that you could once again call people sugar tits.

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And when you got there, let me ask you a question. When you got there, how was it going?

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Yeah, tariffs. Was this a completely unexpected... I mean, he's been talking about tariffs forever. It seems like, did your bank... set aside anything for it? Did they know this was coming? Did they put... Is there a basement where they keep things?

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I agree. He takes it very easy. Is this the colonic that we need? In your mind.

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But don't we all... Doesn't everybody trade with everybody?

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Right. But don't you think this is his MO? You know, I'm going to tell you a story. This is really the wrong direction to go in, but I'm going to do it anyway.

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What is this, the 40s? Yeah, yeah. I'll give you an Excedrin and a Paul Maul, and you'll be fine. Oh, you're lucky I didn't... For God's sake. I can give you something McKinley used. Here we go. Oh, don't do that. So I had a dog, and the dog would go outside, and he would eat whatever he could find outside, and generally things that a dog shouldn't eat. I'm worried where this is going.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

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He comes back into the house. Everything's fine. And you would go out. In the middle of the night, he would wake up, and he would vomit on the bed. I would turn the light on, and I would look to try and go get stuff to clean it. Then he would eat the vomit... And then look at me and go, I did good, right? Do you see what I'm saying? Isn't that what this is?

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Trump, I guarantee you, here's what's going to happen. Trump is going to announce he's going to eat the vomit and look at the country and go, huh?

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But they had Belt and Road. They were making tons of relationships with people.

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Party manufacturing in Malaysia. All over the world.

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I've never seen anything... I like my dog vomit metaphor much better than yours. I feel like mine was very direct. Yours... Now I'm thinking about seeding and everything else.

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The R-word and the P-word? Well, I can tell you today that that top banker is definitely using both of those words. Perhaps even adding motherfucker.

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His people were the majority of the voters in this country.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1656.666

Let me tell you this, and from your whole rant there, no f***ing way you're 5'8". There's no way. No way. There's no way. I'm 5'7", and I could dunk on you. Come on, let's go. Not a chance. So listen to this. I play Jewish basketball. THAT'S WILL CHAMBERLAND. TRUMP IS GOING TO SAY WHAT HE'S GOING TO DO IS GO, I JUST MADE A DEAL. HE DID THE SAME THING THE LAST TIME.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1697.647

CHINA JUST SAID THEY'RE GOING TO BUY ALL OUR PORK AND ALL OUR SOYBEANS. IT'S THE BEST DEAL ANYBODY HAS EVER MADE. THEY DON'T ACTUALLY EVER DO IT. NOBODY EVER CHECKS ON IT. Even if you wanted to renegotiate our trade agreements or create a fair system or whatever it is you want to do, why would you do it in such a reckless fashion?

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1780.262

That was the point of the whole story.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1794.267

Now, let's do the other side of the coin.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1797.988

Democratic policy has led us in some measure to this moment.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1822.196

And we got it. And here's the deal. Here's what we do. You want to be the DNC chair? That is a terrible, terrible bumper sticker.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1877.218

But in saying all that, then, can't you understand why a percentage of the population would be like, burn it down? No. I don't care.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1914.714

But that's not owning the Democratic failure.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1981.436

But even when they did it, I'm going to tell you, I was talking to Ezra Klein. We were talking about rural broadband. Billions of dollars invested in rural broadband. There was a 14-point plan to get companies to the starting line. to go to build. Out of all the companies that jumped in there, everybody dropped out but three.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

1998.386

Nobody got to the starting line by the time their administration was over. They invested in green technology. They didn't build the electric charging stations. How can you go out there and say, we need to raise taxes and money when people don't believe that you're going to spend it? Like, here's what's so upsetting about all of this. Trump is great at diagnosing the problem.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2023.203

Doge is great at telling you we need efficiency. I think the way they go about it is actually haphazard, cruel, reckless, doesn't fix the problem. But they're not wrong in the diagnosis.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2074.272

Wait a second. Even that. I'm not saying, look. But let's talk about 2008 for a second. We did bail out corporations. Yes. But people, homeowners, who went under, they lost everything. You're looking at the guy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

208.817

Where's a Hawaiian shirt to an economic armageddon? What are we doing here? But they pull you in from the pool? Either Financial Channel's Rodney Dangerfield or something? I told my wife about the stock plunge. She said, oh, I thought you guys would never go down there. No, no, no. Haven't done that one in a while.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2090.812

It's hard for me to go like, oh, good.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2136.755

That's what you argue in the Oval Office? No. They're all like, what should we do about the thing? And you're like, beat them!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2170.95

Do you ever watch what this president is doing and think, because you did. I do, but I put it on mute. Stop. You're in the overlap. You're watching him do all these different things. Do you ever think, because President Obama, and this is what he used to yell at me about. I don't know if you were there when I used to have to go down there and he would yell at me for a while.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2193.497

Oh, is that true? All right. So do you watch what this president does in terms of at least the boldness of it, not what he's doing, and think, why didn't we push the edge? and get the things that we thought, rather than getting... If we ran on the audacity of hope, why did we govern on the possible? Is that something?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2329.185

I mean, I... I got it. I'm just adding up how many Americans you've called stupid tonight. I'm just going through the list. No, I start off with the Americans. Children, I want the bankers beaten.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

2349.896

No, they're not vigilantes. No, it's a cheap high.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

242.148

This turmoil could have lasting effects on the global economy, on everyday Americans, and most worryingly, the stock portfolios of members of Congress. Mr. President, now is the time to soothe a worried nation.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

282.48

The genius who gave us classics like Sleepy Joe and Crooked Hillary just shit out, you're a panic cat? How about hysterocrats? Rapussicans? How about cryontologists? Did the overseas factory you had been sourcing your nicknames from get shut down during the tariff war? So we're going to try this again, Mr. President. Can you ease the fears of this nation like a true leader?

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

333.001

Your economic policy has the same tagline as season three of Squid Game? That's supposed to make us feel better? Only the weak shall die in my economy. By the way, in case you didn't get the point that he doesn't give a f***. He spent the weekend showing, not telling. He played not a round of golf this weekend, a tournament of golf, a three-day tournament.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

364.034

812 holes of golf with his live golf Saudi benefactors. And in case you're wondering about the venerated journalists who are now allowed to be in the press pool, this was literally the first question he was asked on Air Force One in the middle of a financial meltdown.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

413.229

I'm a good boy. Good boy, good golf. I know the stock market is not the totality of the economy, but if I remember correctly, in the run up to the election, Trump seemed very concerned about the stock market.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

437.42

And anything she can do, I can do better. I can do it on my own. I won, Mom. Hey, Mom. Hey, Mom, look. Hey, Mom, look, no economy. Please love me. And it didn't have to happen like this. Trump had so many options to shape the world economy into the one he thought was fairer. He could have proposed some incentives to bring back manufacturing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

467.913

He could have gone sector to sector, nation to nation, negotiate better trade reciprocal agreements. But he had to go to full Teresa.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

48.83

I was just... I was just... I was just... No, stop. Say, say, say. We got time. Can I tell you something? And I mean this sincerely. Ever since we started spraying the audience with cocaine before the show... Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. Great show for you tonight. Rahm Emanuel will be joining me later to remind me. He'll be out here.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

491.642

To be fair to the Trump administration, they did give it almost two months and no effort before they asked ChatGPT what it thought they should do. But for those of us who've been tricked into believing that an economic crisis is a crisis, Trump's people have an answer.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

532.679

Live, laugh, love. That's what I always say. You know what I say to all you? It's 401k somewhere. And when did the right become so chill? Aren't you the Bud Lights turning my kids trans, folks? But economic meltdown and you're getting all philosophical? Losing money costs you nothing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

576.077

Except money. Losing money costs you money. It's the definition of losing money. And I know you go, well, it's going to be worth it to get the character of the country that we want back again. But we have no f***ing idea if that's actually what's going to happen. You're all acting like the tariff regime is a tried and true remedy. Oh, of course. This is the medicine that's always prescribed.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

606.104

Except the last time it was tried 100 years ago, we had a Great Depression.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

636.055

So everyone relax. This is merely a routine rat poison colonoscopy. By the way, what's the right dosage of rat poison? Oh, if you get enough of it, hey, your headache will be gone. And by the way, I mean, this is slightly off topic, but the colonoscopy guy? His name is John Tobacco? That's a witness protection thing, isn't it? So here's how it's going to go. Your new name is John Tobacco.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

682.296

Say it back to me. John Tobacco. Your name is John Tobacco. Say it back to me. John Tobacco. Your new profession is you do anus metaphors on Newsmax. Your name is John Tobacco. You do anus metaphor. Say it back to me. Say it back to me.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

697.457

By the way, if Trump wants us to stay the course with his radical plan, you might want to think of a strategy that inspires our confidence that you all know what you're doing. Like, for instance, these tariffs. Is this a negotiation?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

720.292

Let me make this very clear. This is not a negotiation. This is not that. This is a national emergency. Okay, it's a national emergency. It's not a negotiation. Well, I don't agree, but at least I have some clarity now.

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

750.429

So much rat poison. So is this a negotiation or is this permanent?

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Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

77.66

Reminding me just which one of the three brothers he is again. I don't know. Is he the one that owns UFC? Does it matter at this point? But that is later. First, as you know, our economy... Our economy is in the midst of a beautiful metamorphosis. Turning from a simple caterpillar into a dead caterpillar. So let's get into it with another exciting installment of Trade Wars.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

773.234

How much White Lotus did you people watch? What is permanence in this negotiated life we live? Have a pina colada. Forget about if they're permanent or not permanent. What are we doing? How will this bring jobs back? What are these jobs? Commerce Secretary Lutnick.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

828.393

This is all so that millions of Americans can develop the dexterity. I can't even get the lint out of the charging area on my phone. Now I gotta do-do-do-do.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

862.059

So it's not the screws, We're going to be robot mechanics. The robots do the screwing, and we're just there to make sure the robots are lubed and ready to screw. That is the American renaissance. We are robot fluffers. We are waiting. This is all...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

895.796

So if I'm an American manufacturer, how long do these onerous tariffs have to stay in place to convince me to build my army of automated screw and robot mechanics?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

913.983

Jon Stewart from Popular Robot Mechanics. I've never built a fully automated robot factory before, but is days and weeks enough time? or too much time. Feels like it would take a month. Well, I guess that's silver lining number one of this trade war. Want something even more underwhelming? Here's the Treasury Secretary on if we've heard the good news on the stock collapse.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump's Botched Tariff Rollout & Market Meltdown | Rahm Emanuel

971.493

Blink twice if you want to be saved. I was very impressed that in the market crash, the building is still standing. You know, I was very impressed by the way that the Titanic just slid into the water. Almost like it was taking a bath. Just dipping a toe. Those drownings should take great comfort in the lack of backsplash.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1054.431

Holy shit, that's not okay. By the way, I don't know. That wasn't a gotcha question. Should the president uphold the Constitution? On Millionaire, that'd be the warm-up question. Like, what color is an orange? Or name a planet with people on it. I mean, if you can't answer that the president's supposed to uphold the Constitution, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't even let you become a citizen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1078.263

And before you might say, well, they never told me I was supposed to. Let me refer you back to a cold day in January.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1093.41

Were you even awake? Preserve, protect, and defend, i.e. uphold. It's not optional. It is not an opportunity for you to lawyer shop loopholes to our nation's founding document. You took an oath in front of God and those who are fighting against God. But the important thing is this. Here's the problem. The volatility of nonsense, from consequential to truly disorienting, is unfathomable.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1118.947

While we're chasing Pope and Alcatraz stories, the Trump administration has gutted funding for America's food banks. They've hollowed out the FAA to the point where Newark Airport is basically inoperable and not in its usual way.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

113.693

But first, and I'm so glad you're with us today, let's talk about our beloved president. He's in a... Show some respect. He's in a bit of a tough situation right now since he ran on fixing the economy. And fixing the economy is very complicated. It's very tricky. You need professionals. But Trump is one of those guys who's like, I can do it. I know what I'm doing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1152.051

Motherfucker. I agree. Do you know how bad you have to be to make the lives of sick 9-11 responders worse? The Trump administration is now number two on the 9-11 evil power rankings. Al-Qaeda is still number one, but you're closing the gap. And trust me, there is nothing that you can do to distract me from making sure that those folks are going to get what they've earned from the government.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1195.337

Here's the thing. I know I'm not supposed to get distracted, but... He's not a f***ing Jedi in that picture. Do you understand? Trump is presenting himself as a Jedi, but his lightsaber is red. And the only way you can have a red lightsaber is by infusing its kyber crystal with the power of your age and hate, thereby corrupting it into a vessel for the dark side.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1213.671

Therefore, therefore, every one of those photos that Trump is putting out there, he's admitting, he is admitting, he's not a Jedi, but in fact, a Sith Lord. And there are always two. So the question is this. Who is he working with? And why do I know all this? Well, I happen to have an extensive collection of Star Wars action figures. 30 to 37 of them, actually. Some call them dolls.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1249.934

I call them friends! When we come back, Rutger Bregman. Don't go away.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1320.283

Hey, welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight... A fabulous guest. He's a historian, best-selling author. His new book is called Moral Ambition. Stop wasting your talent and start making a difference. Please welcome to the program Rutger Bregman, sir! They go crazy for the Dutch historian crowd. Yeah, I know. Well, I have a lot of competition there. All the other famous Dutch historians.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1358.324

That's exactly. Van der Dunk had it coming for a long time. Listen, moral ambition is, in this country, obviously, has been somewhat outlawed. But how do you define moral ambition as something that people should be pursuing?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1401.186

But not as a hobby, as a vocation.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1405.069

And you have a very interesting, the opening forward is so interesting. It's a story of a monk, the happiest person in the world, because brainwaves tell us this. And you tell this story, and I think you're going to a place where you say, be the monk. Yeah. And you basically go, this monk is wasting his life.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

144.375

He watched a YouTube video and he opened up the hood and he was like, oh, it's the wire from the carburetor. No, let me do it. Oh, it's on fire. And then his wife comes out and is like, I told you to call somebody. And then he's like, you don't believe in me. And scenes. Now you see why I'm not in many movies.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1453.578

Wait, is this guy now, like, getting shit talked all over Twitter?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1489.972

A plunge. That's apparently that's the thing now you're supposed to do. You go to the warm thing and then you go to the cold thing. Exactly. When you what is the piece of advice that was missing from you from from the hug? How do you restore faith in humanity and then get mad at them?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1509.038

I want to restore faith in humanity.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1519.902

Yeah, yeah. Tell them what you said at Davos, which I thought was a really interesting... Well, it was really short.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1591.089

Your ally. What do you say to people? Because when I view the world of... moral ambition or activism, I actually see it as pretty vibrant that we may not know their names, but there are so many people that don't get the attention that are doing what you're suggesting, but maybe without the access to the people that matter, like that don't get invited to Davos, but are doing the

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1620.965

the grunt work like working in the trenches trying to get their representatives to notice or trying to make a difference what do you say to people who are saying like i have moral ambition i'm busting my ass out here it's very hard to get a foothold so i believe we live in a sort of inverse welfare society so we've got the people in the so-called essential jobs we discover that during the pandemic if they go on strike then that's a disaster for all of us right

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1668.186

I would actually think that'd be higher.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1712.824

You're talking about Dutch historians.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1726.234

So do you consider them... Oh, you're very excited about that. What percentage, do you consider our system then of education and economics a moral failure in that regard? And is it, are there places where what you're talking about works? Is there an analogous situation?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

174.936

The point being, yesterday, Trump sat down for an interview with NBC's Meet the Press host, Kristen Welker, and the challenge was clear. The president had to find a way to persuasively take credit for the remaining good parts of the economy while subtly assigning blame to Joe Biden for the bad on fire parts. Let's see how Trump threaded this rhetorical needle.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1796.439

They were the ones who, on their Instagram pages, kept putting up the black square.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1815.661

So what is going wrong? Because to my mind, The sticking point, and maybe this is semantics, but the sticking point doesn't appear to be people who are morally ambitious, but a system that is impervious to that, that is agnostic about moral ambition.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1833.755

It feels like there's enough people in this country working their asses off for change and a political system that finds a way to ignore them in favor of insurance company lobbyists or drug company lobbyists. They don't have access to this. How do they get access? Yeah, sure.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1905.683

You need the moral ambition to be fused with. Because on the right, they fused it very well with their billionaires and their media ecosystem. Whereas on the right, perhaps because it's not as homogenous, it's more difficult. Is the idea for these... networks of morally ambitious activists to connect with the entrepreneurs and funders and move in that direction together. Absolutely.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1936.775

And that's what you're not seeing happening.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1943.12

The School for Moral Ambition.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

1978.719

So what then is the incentive other than moral satisfaction? Is that, do we need to teach kids that? Because that was, look, the hippies and the hippies of the 60s, and they were very idealistic. And then they all, you know, Reagan came along and they were all like, wait, I can work at a hedge fund? OK. And so what is then, do you have to create then an incentive process for those folks?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2047.228

Right, right. And is it... What about sort of the everyday sort of quiet activism of living pleasantly? Like, I think we shouldn't diminish, though... for whatever your status is or station is that you can, within your own life, make the changes that create at least a better local atmosphere?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2070.692

Because I think what you're talking about is when you point to history, you're really talking about inflection points. And you don't know when those will occur. And oftentimes, momentum builds to them, and there's a tipping point, and it moves over. I don't know how conscious it is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2139.653

But are we, like, I wasn't even talking about, like, let's use less, because I do think human progress is generally, like, people will do what's more convenient or more, that's just kind of how they operate. I'm just, I guess I'm just trying to wrap my head around what this means. Like... It feels like saying to, like, college kids at a graduation, like, you f***ing bastards. Yeah.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

214.311

Nailed it. He went right at it. No attempt at persuasion or allegory or metaphor. Trump, good, Biden, bad. He's a regular Shakespeare. Maybe Shakespeare would have been better off with the Trump approach. Act one, scene one, Romeo and Juliet. Hey, Juliet, it's Romeo. Let's f***ing then kill ourselves.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2164.977

Like, you think you're going to go into these other jobs? No. Yeah. Go solve climate change. Yeah. Is that what this is?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2186.047

The greatest graduation speech ever. You just get up there and go, listen, motherfuckers.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2204.56

Didn't they try this with like the ESG, the investing for better? Was that just nonsense?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2256.58

So, Howard, tell me about, and just before we go then, so if people want to exercise this moral ambition, what is, how do they get their foot on that ladder? Do they have to come to your institute? Or is there... Yeah, so... We're building a movement now of... You could be running the greatest scam in history right now.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2277.104

To do this, you have to come to the... Now, tuition is... No, no, no, no, no, no.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2330.303

Note to self smartphone that kills you. Awesome product launch.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2349.687

Well, that's fantastic. And it starts off there. And have you done it in the United States as well, or this is right now a purely European project?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

2376.789

The book is Moral Ambition. Get your application now. Yes. We're going to take a good break.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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That is our show, ladies and gentlemen, for the night. Before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Desi Lydic. Desi, come on. What's happening this week?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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In the conclave room? I think they only let cardinals in that room.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Okay, Cardinal Pizzeria. Who do you want to be pope?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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my family. Look, I'm trying very hard in this new Trump flood the zone media ecosystem strategy to not get too high or low, to not take the bait, to find things in my life that give me pleasure or peace. For instance, a quick story. I have a niece, 11 years old, loves dolls. I was going to get her 20 or 30 of them for her birthday. Just to see the joy of a child.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Nailed it. Jesus would be proud.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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You can't put a price tag on that. It gives me great solace. Anyway, like I said, I'm not trying to take these interviews personally.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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First of all, I don't think we consider 11-year-olds baby girls. Second of all, you don't know what she needs. She's been through a lot this year. How many dolls would you get her? What is the appropriate number of dolls to get a beautiful baby 11-year-old girl, Mr. President?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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It's just not that many dolls. I mean, okay, sure, she could have a small tea party with the dolls, but her dream had been a quasi-realistic conclave reenactment with dolls. That's what she wanted. But fine, fine. It's fine. It's fine. I'll just tell her the President of the United States said no. You know what? Doesn't matter. Dolls are not her only happy place anyway.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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She also loves taking standardized tests. No, it's true. Very erudite. So I was thinking of getting her this wonderful baby's first SAT kit. It has all the Scantron sheets and around 250 number two pencils. She's going to go crazy.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Jon Stewart.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Motherfucker! How dare you! What kind of a man would deny this poor girl her full complement of pencils for her dream standardized testing toy kit? Is that man crazy? A. Ebenezer Scrooge. B. The Grinch. C. An evil step-monster. Or D. All of the above. Oh, that's right. She can't answer because she's already used her entire pencil quota.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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When Trump is talking about what people should do and get to like dolls and pencils, Trump has such a depression era view of what kids play with in 2025. Kids don't need 20 sets of those hoops you hit with a stick as you as you go down the street. Just one hoop is Jim Dandy.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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But look, to be fair to Donald Trump, his austerity pitch to the American people is in line with the modest way in which Trump conducts his life. Trump has a monastic view of simple living that says, hey, what if Saddam Hussein's palace had a view of Central Park?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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And some people think it's what would look like inside Marie Antoinette's vagina. It was notoriously well-appointed.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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I do want to hand it to Trump. If you notice, a very sparing use of pencils and dolls. He does walk the walk. But look, here's the truth. If a Democrat had even hinted at toy rationing for American children, we'd have a full week of Fox special reports on the sobbing children of socialist America and a boom in gun-toting patriots going, you can have my G.I. Joe when you pry it from a Kung Fu grip.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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But at least we're finally getting to address, in a substantive manner, Trump's chaotic stewardship of what was the world's most stable economy and how Americans are going to have to sacrifice financially and tamp down their consumerist impulse. And that is what has driven so much of our economy and I guess our waste.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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And I'm sure the president will use this interview with Welker to cheerlead the effort to a more financially responsible future. for all of us.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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We can't afford not to do it. Why don't you believe in me? If you hadn't spent so much on dolls and pencils, we weren't even talking about this. And see, But this is the brilliance of Trump. In the same interview where he says to Americans, sorry about your Christmas, suck it up, he talks about a $90 million parade that just so happens to fall on his birthday and is totally worth it.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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I don't know. Mr. President, if you know how submarines work... But... Dragging them down Pennsylvania Avenue will most likely... void the warranty. But this is why it's so hard to pin Trump down on everything. Because to get to substantive policy questions, you have to face down the fire hose of his nonsense and bullshit that moves you off track.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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His frenetic nature that means we all end up suffering from a kind of secondhand ADHD. A viral cloud of his unfocused weaving that gives all of us brain fog. will know more. Hi, sharks. When I saw the President of the United States starting out on tariffs and ending up on dolls and parades and pencils, I thought, there's got to be a better way.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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to help Americans figure out which of the things it's okay to get upset about and which things are just him off. So I invented this chart. Let me show you how it works. First, we take something the president said.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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And then we figure out, is that okay? Sure. It's okay. It's the kind of thing that's okay to just let go. It's just a stupid thing to keep us occupied, to lose focus on his actual policies. It's okay not to take the bait, to not get sucked into it. But why would you want to reopen Alcatraz? What the is that? Why would you want to do that?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Welcome to The Daily Show. Thank you. My name is John Stewart. Man, do we have a show for you tonight. Later on, I'm going to be joined by our guest, Rutger Bregman. He is my all-time, and I mean this, all-time favorite Dutch historian. Yeah. That's right, you heard me. Suck on that, Herman van der Donk. who is another Dutch historian that we looked up backstage.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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What, did Trump think we're low on prisons? What are you... Although I guess any opportunity for Trump to open a prison and simultaneously close a museum is too good to pass up. But it'll take hundreds of millions of dollars, or I don't know how many dollars in pencils, but it's a lot. Does Doge know about this? Does Alcatraz?

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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Because they run a museum. They're a museum. They're not... That's what they're... They're not... They're not like tough-talking wardens. They're docents with art history degrees. The only person working there is busy fixing those machines that flatten pennies. That's the only person that works there. And here's the crazy part about Trump.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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He throws out these crazy ideas, and then those crazy ideas have days of shelf life. This is a press conference today announcing a partnership with the NFL draft. But now the NFL guys have to just sit there and nod through all this Alcatraz nonsense.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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I'm sorry. The chart was supposed to prevent this kind of over-emotional digression. This one's on me. I am not leading a chart-based life right now. I apologize. I can do better. I can do better. Let's go again and judge whether or not this is an important pronouncement or a brain-fogging digression.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's just okay. It's fine. It's not the most presidential thing, but Trump and the Pope do share the same taste in interior design, so it's not the worst fit. And it's just a troll. It's not hurting anybody. I mean, Trump wasn't going to heaven anyway, so it's not like it's going to... I'm not going to get distracted by it.

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Trump on Upholding Constitution: "I Don't Know" | Historian Rutger Bregman

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I'm not gonna, but he can't really be the Pope, can he? Can he be the Pope?

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You see what you're doing to people, Trump? MSNBC's got to waste valuable air time fact-checking your nonsense. Time they could have spent frowning, sighing, and rolling their eyes. Is there anything during this chaotic news cycle that maybe we should keep our eyes on?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Yes, I'm sure your heart, in quotation marks, is breaking. But in your little zero-sum formulation, you are correct. Total capitulation by Ukraine, loss of all their mineral wealth, and no security guarantees is still better than World War III.

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or now but you know everything sounds better if the only other option you're presenting us is world war three you can listen to the amelia perez composer freestyle another verse at the oscars or world war three eventually you will agree to hear another verse by a hair These guys are so up Trump's ass. They can't even admit that this meeting was Russia's wet dream.

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Yes, people get terribly afraid when someone viciously takes their side. They must be quaking in their... What do Russians wear on their feet? I don't. Is it shoes inside other shoes and then they get very small? Until the last shoe that you take off is a tiny shoe and you're really, you're positive this has got to be the last shoe. But no, you're a little baby tiny shoe. You're a little baby.

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You're a little baby tiny shoe. You know what? Putin must be quaking. Let's get the this is the actual Russian state television view on Russia's fearfulness.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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show. How are you? My name is John Stewart. Thank you. Oh, man. Thank you. We got a great showboy tonight. I'm very excited.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Not only are the Russians not fearful, they're f***ing delighted. you know how hard it is to delight a russian there's only two ways to do it break up the western democratic order or bear on roller skates it's the only two ways or social media dash cam death three things really look none of this is to say zelensky handled this meeting well

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Everyone knows by now Trump's love language is subservience. If he calls your wife ugly, you praise him. If he calls you widdle, you run his State Department. And if you're a foreign leader who wants to be on good terms with America, you've got to butter Trump up like he's Texas toast. British PM Keir Starmer knows how it's done.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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As you can see, I am fully healed. This is what caused all the commotion. They glued it back together. Where is it? They glued it back together. Boom. That's all. That's it. That's what nearly brought an old man down. A tiny punctured wound that all the blood in my body went, let's go! We got a hell of a show tonight.

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That's how you do it, Zelensky! It's a legend from the game!

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It's got a wax seal on it! It was brought here by Harry Potter's owl! What a delight!

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The king is throwing you a ball, you'll be the bell of the ball, and then I'll sweep your chimney! Zelensky shouldn't have gone in there with Russia hasn't abided by any ceasefire agreements, so we can't trust him. He should have gone in there with a dessert cart and a Kiev hotel opportunity.

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So this meeting has deeply wounded America's alliance with Ukraine, as well as the rest of Europe and the punditocracy. It's having a hard time figuring out the strategy.

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You poor, dumb bastards. It makes perfect sense if only you watched professional wrestling. Do you get it? It was a heel turn. I'll explain it again. It was a heel turn designed to create the alliance Trump always wanted in the first place. What's to understand? Trump and the Republicans like Putin better. Just listen to Putin.

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Will and Grace reboot Amigama. It sounds like Putin is primarying Marjorie Taylor Greene from the right. A woman who, by the way, gives up the whole point of this realignment.

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By bombing other Christians. So everyone's wondering, why isn't Trump aligning himself with the West? In his mind, he is. Western civilization, not Europe. To most of us, Russia is not that. Because we, and historically everyone, has used the West to mean Western values. Europe represents the expansion of liberties advocated by great Enlightenment thinkers like Locke, Voltaire, and Rousseau.

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But to MAGA, This is Europe. It's f***ing gay. Super gay. When MAGA talks about Western civilization, they mean the Knights Templar. Still pretty f***ing gay. I gotta say. But excitingly so. But that's the thing. It's not democracy versus dictatorship or capitalism versus communism anymore. It's woke versus unwoke. And Russia is not woke. They're very tired. They're comatose.

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It wasn't decided in a particularly volatile meeting on Friday. You got to give credit where credit is due to MAGA architect Steve Bannon. They've been working on taking out the EU for a while now.

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My guest, sociologist and author Matthew Desmond is going to be... They love him. They love him. Fresh off his upset win as best supporting actor. And the crowd goes wild. But first, if I can just pick up something from the last time that I was out here. I made a bit of a critique of Elon Musk and the Doge program. Let me reset the scene. I am not allowed to have big boy mugs anymore.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Holy shit. What a concise, centrally planned social engineering scheme. But here we are, the end result of a scripted arc that culminates in America betraying its old alliance for the lure of a strongman partnership that carves up the world's rich bounties and places classic democratic values behind transactional convenience. So say it with me, conspiracy theorists.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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By design, it's a new world order. So Europe, sadly, if I may. When we come back, Matthew Desmond's here. Don't go away.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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My guest tonight, he's a sociologist at Princeton University and a Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Evicted. His latest book is called Poverty by America. Please welcome to the program, Matthew Desmond. Sir! Thanks for being here. Let me say this. Fabulous book. Thank you. Filled with such interesting research and unusual and I think really interesting ideas. I mean...

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Does America require poverty to function in the way that we do? Is it a requirement of our society? Yeah, no, I don't think so. No, no, no, I mean, is the system we run, do they require poverty? in the capitalist system, people in poverty to function at maximum profit.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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This system can work. You say something in the book that blew my mind, which is there's a part in there where you talk about the tax burden.

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And if we just collected the taxes that were owed, it would account for one point something trillion dollars. And your calculation of how we could end poverty in this country was how much money?

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Just with and without levying other taxes, just collecting what we need. Right. I mean, so like... So, wah, wah, wah.

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Like, when you say that, I just go, no! Right, right. That cannot, that can't be. Right. But be. Right. That's insane. And it's not, the one thing I will say, it's not like we don't spend money on alleviating poverty. We do, the budget for America was what, 3.7 trillion 10 years ago. Now it's like 7 trillion. Yeah. We do spend the money. Are we just spending it inefficiently?

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Our poverty levels are higher than almost all other countries in the industrial world.

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So it's... I don't even want to know what the German word for that is. But sure, it's very long and sounds like someone has bronchitis. Right. But this is the part that's shocking. We've done things. I'm going to go back to the pandemic, that there was the era, the rent assistance program and the child tax credits. Poverty dropped in the pandemic when people were really suffering.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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There was an actual meeting of the safety department of Paramount and Viacom that was like, no more ceramic for Mr. Stewart. So they wanted to baby-proof. So this is... Anyway, we had some critiques about Doge after the show Governor Musk tweeted, or X'd, I guess, that he would like to come on here and talk to me as long as the show airs unedited. So I thought about it.

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So we naturally, at that point, had to end it very quickly, that program.

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And so I think the big- Is it a question of-

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when we think about we always think like well for people below the poverty line, there's a ton of programs for them, but I'm a little bit above it and my parents are getting older and my kids are going to school and I'm in a tight squeeze and quite frankly, I don't want any resources that I might have to pay and are there too many people even above poverty who are struggling but feel like

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I'M NOT GETTING ANY VALUE ON MY RETURN FOR TAX DOLLARS. ISN'T THERE A LITTLE RESOURCE GUARDING? AND BY THE WAY, NOT WITHOUT CAUSE.

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Right. You know, here's where they go with that. And this is the thing that I would like you to talk about, which is what they would say is, oh, yeah, but the top 10 percent, 20 percent, they pay all the taxes. I don't think people understand. what a regressive tax system we really have for people, not just at poverty, but working class, middle class, that comes from sales taxes and everything.

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People pay much more percentage of their income at the lower levels, even though it's not federally taxed.

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So what is going wrong? If you were Doge, if you were there to say, how could we do this more efficiently to get people that are struggling to alleviate that? Because in many other countries, they do do that.

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A trillion. A trillion. Yeah. Those poor people are getting away with a ton. Right. A trillion a year and alleviating poverty would be 200 billion a year. Right. Is there something in the system of federalism that means those dollars to the poor?

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Like, if Walmart has a $5 billion or $10 billion profit, and yet still a lot of their workers are on public assistance or struggle, who might not be below poverty line, but just above it, how are we not penalizing them?

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Is it that poor people need better lobbyists? Is that what this is? Like, how does this get done?

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And after a prayerful week with my family, well, a family, This is a family hall pass situation.

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Is there something, too, to getting the government to value labor again in the way that they value capital? Capital being taxed at gains that are much lower. There's a lot of rules that ease capital. Stock buybacks, you only have to answer to shareholders. Is there a way to get workers in on that? Because that seems like where the accumulation of wealth seems the greatest. How do we plug

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labor into that stream without necessarily killing the stream, but letting it really, getting them into the flow of it.

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But don't you think the financialization of our economy changed that calculus? You know, we used to think about IBM, the blue chip companies. You would invest in them, and they would have steady growth, and they would give you dividends, and you would work for them for 40 years.

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You know, I was thinking, you know, if you were to reasonably watch the news networks, the little bug in the corner is... the stock market, right? If you go to a hospital, they plug you into a machine. It gives you your pulse, your blood pressure, you know, all that. You would be well within your rights to think, that is the measure of my health. I'm looking at that.

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When you watch that, you would think, oh, that must be the measure of our economy's health. Is there a way to educate the public that that's not actually our economy? That's just a... tiny fraction that goes mostly to, I don't know, the top 10% own 50% of the wealth in the stock market. What other measures would give people a better sense of how we're failing?

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How many people have parents that need elder care, but it's squeezing them because their kids are going to cut? Like, give a sense of that. By the way, I reopened that cut just by hitting like that. Oh, man. Just by doing that. I can't even do this anymore. Critique it now from the left a little bit. Are there things that the left advocates for or does that makes this realignment harder?

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Here's what I always worry about, and I worry about this with climate. It always comes down to, for some reason on the left, you people just have to be better people, and that'll put pressure on it. I feel like the whole point of joining as a society is that a system can alleviate that, like, I just don't know how we get out of it without it coming from legislation. I don't know.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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You don't want to know, and quite frankly, I don't want to know. But after thinking about his offer, I thought, you know, hey... That's actually how the in-studio interviews normally air. It's unedited, so sure. We'd be delighted. As a matter of fact, let me sweeten or unsweeten the pot. The interview can be 15 minutes, it can be an hour, it can be two hours, whatever.

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I mean, when you say, like, we've got to call our congressman, I'm like, I've been in that situation where you call congressman, it does diddly-poo. Like, they're not even answering, and half the time, they don't even know the ins and outs of what you're talking about. Like, the country's held together by hundreds and hundreds of legislative aides that are working tirelessly.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Isn't there... Can't we... Present them. I would love to see you lobby in Washington because I feel like you have interesting ideas that haven't tried. We're not walking down the same tired path. Right. Is that a possibility or no? Are they open to that? Me going to Washington? Yes. People like you. I don't know.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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If you wouldn't mind. But doesn't that speak to that the systems then have to... Here's what I would say. We think of poverty as a vice. And we think of entitlements as a moral hazard for vice. Why don't we view it as investment? Why don't we view... Like, what a great economic engine for this country to take areas that have suffered entrenched poverty and rejuvenate them in a different way.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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I got to tell you, out of all that argument, that to me was the most concise...

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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and powerful because and it's one that i really haven't heard which is you don't understand like we're not just giving people uh money we're investing and getting a huge return and all these corporate subsidies are not getting us a good return right exactly that's that's fabulous right there that is anyone watching this i really appreciate it uh this book if you get a chance

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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It will open your eyes to a system that can often be well-meaning but not function in the manner that it purports to be functioning. And it's really a wonderfully accessible journey through that. So I really appreciate the book. Be sure to check out Poverty by America. Matthew Desmond, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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I'll be honest, I don't think this network makes any other programming. So we can do whatever the we want as long as we rap before the new season of South Park, which comes out like May or June of 2026. So I am game. I think it'll be a very interesting conversation. But then I checked X again and I saw another tweet from Elon because you can't not.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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That's our show for tonight. Before we go, we're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Mr. Michael Kosta. Michael Kosta! What do you got for us?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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So shouldn't you have bought, like, Canadian and Mexican products? Hmm. Hmm.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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And he then said, after saying, I'd like to come on, Jon Stewart cannot be trusted and that I am a propagandist and... You give me too little credit. And that I am not bipartisan. Again, the guy who custom made his own dark MAGA hat... that he wears to opine in the Oval Office with the president who he spent $270 million to elect thinks I'm just too partisan.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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I'm really not sure what he thinks bipartisan means, but it's generally not I support Donald Trump and also Germany's AFD party. That's not bipartisan. That's just the same shit. So I guess what I would say is this. Look, Elon. I do have some criticisms about Doge.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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I support, in general, the idea of efficiency and delivering better services to the American public in cheaper and more efficient ways. And if you want to come on and talk about it on the show, great. If you don't want to, sure. But can we just drop the pretense that you won't do it because I don't measure up to the standards of neutral discourse that you demand and display at all times?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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So let's get to the big story. Americans are still trying to process the global realignment that has occurred following the disastrous Oval Office meeting between the president, J.D. Vance, and Vladimir Zelensky. What happened, they say? Are we still America, they say? Whose side are we on, they say? It's complicated.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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The best way that I can explain what happened and show Americans how to process this new reality was with another shocking turn of events from this weekend.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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If that does not immediately explain to you our current geopolitical climate, you must have grown out of watching wrestling through the normal course of aging. I, on the other hand, understand this in my bones. This explains it, folks. All of your shock, all of your disappointment, all of your anger. It's in there. It's in the square circle. You see, Saturday night. Oh, we're doing this.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Saturday night. John Cena, the good guy of professional wrestling, Mr. Hustle, the champ, the man who stood for everything, truth, justice, the guy who literally holds the record for the most Make-A-Wish Foundation meetings of all time. People would get cancer just to meet John Cena. Last weekend, Cena flipped the script and went from being a face, a good guy, to a heel, a bad guy.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Now, if you don't follow professional wrestling, and I'm guessing if you watch this show, you do not. All right. But let me continue to bore you with this metaphor. So here's what happened. The current WWE champion is one Cody Rhodes. Seven people say around. Cody Rhodes is the people's champ, unquestioned bravery. He stands in for Zelensky in this metaphor.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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A couple of weeks ago, The Rock, the now evil owner of the WWE, Putin in our story, made Cody Rhodes an offer. The one thing that I want more than anything in this world is that I want your soul. He wants Zelensky's soul. But sir, but sir, I am smaller and weaker than you. It will take incredible bravery for me to protect my soul and the soul of my people.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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But luckily, I am not protecting my soul alone. for I have the support of the great John Cena! So, Cody Rhodes, Zelensky, told Vladimir Putin, Rock, no soul for you, motherfucker! And that's when they met in the Oval Office. America went to hug Zelensky, but when America looked up, somehow, Putin said,

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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had given john cena the international sign for its time and rather than repudiate putin america smelled what the rock was cooking and through that borschty haze america delivered the nut shot the nut shot to the hopes and dreams of ukrainians everywhere and then for no reason america jumped on zielinski and started punching him in the face as many times as he could

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Am I being too simplistic, assigning to the delicate art of realpolitik a scripted outcome? Perhaps. But judge for yourself.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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It sure wasn't. But isn't that what you want from the high-stakes diplomacy and real-life urgency that ending war demands? And you know, even reporters got some nut shots in. Why don't you wear a suit? Oh, shit! No, you didn't! Let's do the dozens. Oh, Zelensky, you're so poor and war-torn, you're down to one Brooks brother. Oh, shit!

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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You're so war torn, you've given up the meaningless protocols of business attire. If you think I'm pushing this metaphor, look at the stunned faces in the crowd at WWE when John Cena turned heel. I now present you the equally stunned faces of those watching this Oval Office pay-per-view.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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You broke Christiane Amanpour. The woman wanders unprotected through Taliban-controlled Afghanistan. Doesn't give a f***. Ten minutes of Trump diplomacy and she's like, is anyone else dizzy? Hi. My A1C is plunging. Now, of course, there is one big difference between the WWE and the world of politics. In the WWE, they seem very clear on who the good guys and who the bad guys are.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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Nobody walked out of the match pretending that the guy who got nut-shotted was the bad guy.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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He was a real scallywag. You know what I would say if I was there in the Oval Office with him? I'd say, you better watch your tone, mister. I think it was Churchill who during World War II was roundly criticized for being a bit lippy. Excuse me, mister, we'll decide where you're going to fight them, whether it's on the beaches or not or whatever. guy, Zelensky, his nation was invaded.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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He's against all odds held off a much bigger army for three years. And we're like, would it kill you to smile a little more? Dress a little nicer. You're a beautiful country. Nobody would know. Show off what you got. You know what I'm talking about? Maybe some of those rare metals I've been hearing something about.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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But, of course, if you criticize Trump's very clear hostility to Zelensky and very clear appreciation of Putin as being suspicious or a repudiation of American values, as they've been outlined since World War II, Trump's people quickly set up straw men north of Richmond.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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We're not saying there should be no negotiations. We're just surprised at the side you seem to be negotiating for.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond

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I'm pretty sure everybody wants it. Everybody wants to end all... Hitler wanted to end the war, just not the way it ended. You're pretending that we have... we have no other options.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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aroused. For more on DEI and what it's going to do to our country, let's go live to the White House correspondent, Josh Johnson. Josh! Nice to see you, sir. Let me ask you, I know this is an important subject to you. Josh, what are you hearing about the DEI initiatives?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Wait, what's going on? I'm sorry, Desi, this is Josh's report.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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They're saying Bruce for no apparent reason. When Trump ran for president, he had an urgent message about the state of our country.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I'm sorry, Desi, but what about the executive orders changes our current situation?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Isn't this the problem, guys? Trump's reducing us to rungs on a racial and gender hierarchy. We shouldn't be ranking our identities. Exactly.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Back to you, John. Thank you very much, Michael. You know, I guess if there's one thing that we've learned here today... Is it because of the Jewish thing or the age thing? Doesn't matter.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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When we come back, my guest will be Mo Ammer. Stick around. I'm Gentile Stewart.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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My guest tonight, oh, he's lovely. My guest tonight, a writer and stand-up comedian. He stars in the Peabody Award-winning Netflix series, Moe. Please welcome Moe Armour.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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How dare you? If anything, America is a recycling bin. Useless and made almost entirely of plastic. But that's it. We have to fight to save our country. And now daddy's home. And he's about to take out the trash. And two weeks into the Trump presidency, we have a better sense of the evil and powerful forces that have been dragging our once great nation into decline.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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The show's so good. Thank you. Season two. It just is out on Netflix right now. Right now. And people should watch. I binged it. And it's just. Let me tell you something that bothers me a little bit. And this is not. I'm not trying to, obviously, you know, get off on the wrong foot. And obviously, there's a lot to talk about.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Trying to keep things quiet. When you're so funny and your comedy is so good, and then I find out watching this show that you're also a great actor, and that bothers me. You're so good.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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You know, my kids don't even believe that that was me. That's how bad erosion has taken its course. No.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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You can get to, like, a very emotional place in this thing, in a way. And I've known you for a very long time. And I know that you cry all the time, just generally. Why are you doing this? How is that, like, to even get to that?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And it's also, you know, for those who don't know, so it's the story. Your story is complex. And it's, you're born in Kuwait, right? Yep. Then you have to flee. Correct. And you end in Houston.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Most people go from Kuwait generally to Fort Worth. But Houston is also... And so what's so interesting about your story is what's great about the show is you don't sugarcoat the absurd measures that we in this country have around our immigration system and the various questions and steps. There's one of my favorite scenes in the show in the second season.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I love the first one too, but you're trying to get, he gets kidnapped and taken to Mexico. And now he's got to get back as a stateless person.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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You're there. You need this what's called a laissez-passer. Correct. What is that?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Who cares? speaks English perfectly.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And you start quoting Hank Williams songs.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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But what it really demonstrates is the tenuousness that somebody who is stateless or on these asylum papers or in this process, like you can't f*** up. At all. Like you can't make one mistake. At one point they put the you get deported. Yes, because as it's a great scene and he meets the ambassador of Mexico because he needs the laissez passe.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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He finally gets him to see the ambassador to Mexico. And it's there. It's right there in front of him. And they happen to get on a conversation about Israel-Palestine. And the ambassador doesn't use the word occupation.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And Moe, and this is so great in the scene because he's right there, just blows up the whole process and goes, that's it, I'm out.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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But even bringing that complexity, you know, you have this whole complexity of statelessness and asylum and all the process they have to go through through the first season. And a special needs brother who is fashioned out of your actual brother. Yes. Who's got on the spectrum but doesn't know it. Yes. And is almost 40?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And in this season, you couldn't also escape the Israel-Palestine of it all.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And the complexity of that must have brought to the writers' room, to your heart. And you and I have talked about this a lot.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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They have no idea the damage tea was doing to our nation. Consonants! Because I think you'll agree with me, there is no tea in USA. If you spell it out, obviously that becomes an issue. And if you want a BLT for lunch, things can get ugly, but... Nothing will stop America's low T, like no T. What other changes are making us great again?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I think what you did so well that I was so impressed with was... navigating all those artistic difficulties, what you seem to settle on was, and it's a show about statelessness and not belonging, and in that final episode, you show that connection to the land.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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that your family has to the land, that your father in that, you know, he has a videotape of his father, an actual real videotape of your actual father. Yes, that's correct. Who, unfortunately, you lost a while ago.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And to see that, it made it all, I thought it was such a beautiful moment that contextualized

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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this in such a way of of humanity of like oh right it's just people who live on a plot of land with some olive trees who've been there since their grandparents and their great-grandparents and and boy you did it just so beautifully mo i i can't give you enough flowers for and i know there's always that you just said like the pressure on you're the only palestinian chosen you have to do it right this way or you've got to tell the israeli story the thing about art

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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that you did so well was you told your story. Yeah. It's just one story. But boy, is it resonant. And boy, is it funny and complex and beautiful like you. And I just so appreciate you. Thank you. I appreciate you.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I've also seen you riding a moped, and that's very funny.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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That's right. Except when you're in Ohio.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Now, do you feel like this is completed and now it's off to the races for stand-up and all the other things that you do?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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It's explained in the show, actually. It's crazy.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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You played it like an Abbott and Castello routine on the show. He's like, so I'm deported. Yes. But I can't leave. Correct. Yes. Were the reasons that you were giving in the show for that, are those real? Could you not be deported because they wouldn't send you to, because you're stateless?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Can I ask this? Was the ankle monitor thing... I know. Look at this guy. He's so confused. Oh, yeah. Jaw drop.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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The ankle bracelet, does it have a communication device? Is that a real thing? It is.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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So... It was one of my favorite moments of the show. You're having... You have very painful discussions with your old girlfriend and you guys. And they have a really painful discussion. They break up, and you just hear from the ankle monitor, brutal. Brutal. Such a great moment. My brother. My brother. I love you so much.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I'm so just delighted for you in your life and in your art and all those different things. And I can't wait to see what the next thing is.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I love you so much, John. My man. Thank you so much.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Consonants and pronouns. Your next prepositions. No more pronouns and email signatures. Good luck signing your emails now, President She. Or should I say President Him? Those are just the actions that this president has taken to prove that he's still kind of a dick. But believe me, he hasn't taken his eye off of America's true nation-state enemies.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Desi Lydic will be your host for the rest of the week. Here it is.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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President Trump is reiterating his threat to, quote, take back the Panama Canal. Trump suggesting he could use military force to take Greenland.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Denmark, Panama, Greenland, the axis of, where are those? Now, lest you think that pronouns and Panama were the twin forces shackling America to a prison of national decay, there are also more powerful forces at play in this dangerous world, some of them closer than what you might have ever imagined.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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What is happening? The EU? Canada? Do we have any friends? I mean, Mexico, I get. Trump's been hate-f***ing Mexico pretty much since the escalator. That's the truth. But Canada? Canada? We're picking a fight with our most reliable and pleasant friend, the labradoodle of allies? Yes. But I guess that's Trump tough. You know what I mean? You gotta walk into the prison yard.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Walk right up to the one guy who really doesn't seem to be a problem at all. And just, yeah! Take that, best friend! Who has willingly signed up to fight in every ridiculous war we've ever gotten into. Let that be a lesson to the rest of the world. We are a terrible friend. Denmark, Panama, and Canada aren't America. We used to fight the Nazis. Now we're scouring the globe for easy marks?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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What are we, the Jake Paul of nations? I know. Is that what we're doing? No offense. I know China's out there, but Panama's a legitimate fight. In fact, I'm going to call everyone out in FIFA's CONCACAF division. Yeah! Oh, Trinidad and Tobago, you got a gang up, huh? That honestly, like, I can't believe you laughed at a CONCACAF joke. Soccer is back, baby!

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Look at me getting all skewed in the tie. Now, in Trump's defense, he did explain today why we're going after Canada.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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They're so bad. So bad. The trade deals with Canada, they're so bad. He's just looking and saying, who made these? Ladies and gentlemen, don't get ahead of me. Ladies and gentlemen, for your dining and dancing pleasure, come with me into the Wayback Machine to 2018. I give you the culprit of the terrible deal with Canada.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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A deal done by Trump's greatest nemesis. Trump. Now, hold on. But President Trump. This trade war has awoken a sleeping giant. Not Canada, not Mexico, but the Democratic minority Senate leader. Release the Schumer!

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Your response to the trade war is to tell us guacamole is made of avocados? Is that what?

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Democrats, can you please stop f***ing trotting Schumer out there? Every time Trump traverses into the unreal, he's not good at this. What is the decision-making process here? Hey, who should we get out there to effectively battle one of the most savvy presidential media manipulators in history? I don't know. How about Schumer? He's uninteresting, but at least he's monotone. Oh, wait.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And Chuck, before you go out there, you look too young. Put on these readers and lower them on your nose. Perfect! Honestly, listening to Chuck Schumer speak on almost any topic makes me want to bomb Canada. Kidding, of course, by the way. We have a couple of Canadians here from Montreal, and I don't want to upset them because I'm going to need an apartment soon. Now, before we...

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Before we get rattled by Trump's two to two and a half front trade war, please understand Mexico has already today received a 30 day stay on tariffs by promising 10,000 troops to the border. And we've promised to stop the inflow of guns. So self-invented crisis averted. But what can Canada do? I'm sure there's an equally performative gesture Canada could make.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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What I'd like to see, Canada become our 51st state. Mexico, you just sent a few troops to the border. But Canada, if you could, I don't know, cease to exist as an independent entity. Fair? What's that, Mexico? No, no, there's only 51 states. There's no 52nd. I'm sorry. Hold on one second. Washington, D.C.? Yeah, go f*** yourself. All right. What's that, Puerto Rico? No, it's Canada.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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I think you know why. I think you know why. Canada. All right. Of course, by the way, since we even were writing this show at like 4 p.m., Trump has already said now he's going to pause the tariff war with Canada as well because... Of course, it makes sense to wrap up the trade war right now so that we as a country can focus on the biggest thing that's weakening our great nation.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Diversity, equity, and inclusion. Yes, DEI, diversity, equity, and inclusion. MAGA Worlds blamed this scourge for everything from the fires in California to the attack on Bourbon Street to inflation to the Baltimore Bridge collapse to why your children are confused about the race of mermaids. Because mermaids, boys and girls, are gingers. They've always been that.

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Let me tell you, we got a fantastic show for you tonight. We're going to do our program. Later on in the program, we're going to be talking to comedian, writer, director, auteur, Mo Ammer. That's coming up in a bit. Very excited about that. But first, if I could have just a moment of your time. Let's talk about America's Lord and Savior. Donald Jehoshaphat for Trump. They're not booing.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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The latest example being the plane crash in Washington. It was the DEI-ist. But don't take my word for it. Let's let MTV's Road Rules star and Fox & Friends B-teamer... Explain DEI.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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It is colorblind and merit-based. Look, there's a lot of reasons why the FAA is in a bad place. But these guys would have you believe that the main problem is that standards were somehow lowered to make sure that a black person or a gay person gets a chance to land your plane, even though the requirements to become an air traffic controller are the same.

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But by culture warring this tragedy, Americans spent that terrible night holding their breath that the pilot or the air traffic controller wouldn't be a woman or a black person or in a wheelchair. Because what they're trying to do is make the default setting on competence in America a white guy. That's what this is, a reset to the factory default.

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Because, of course, these two are there purely based on merit.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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And it's just taken for granted. It undercuts every black person, person of color, woman in this country that the job that they have, they don't deserve. It's the mantra in the Republican Party that gives you brain turning moments like this.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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Yes, merit and merit alone, says RNC Chairwoman Lara, hold on, let me get my glasses. Trump. It was a blind submission, never saw her name on the application. That's the irony of this whole thing.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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The people standing next to Trump on that terrible night, blaming DEI and trying to reinstall white guys as the only non-suspect pool of hires are themselves DEI hires for one particular identity that they possess, the ass kisser.

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Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer

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D-E-I. Sucking ego inflation. Obviously, if you think of sucking as a compound word. But you can gaslight us all you want, because the one thing you didn't count on is our secret weapon.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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And President Trump has spoken about how important it is for this administration to own their mistakes.

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That old Harry Truman chestnut. This is President Trump living those accountability values. Here he is when he was first asked about the signal chat incident.

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I'm sorry, there's a buck now what? So I was just with you. Accountability. And you people bought it. No, no, no, my friends. Number five is... What? What? That's the get out of jail free card. When all other justifications fail, you can never go wrong with your last list on your doge. Five things you did this week should always be. I have no idea what the you're talking about. Hold on.

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We're gonna check in with our good friend, democracy. Gonna give him the old turn your head and cough. How's democracy doing?

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I think I'm getting a call. And Trump has deployed this strategy better than anyone. For instance, when asked if we're actually deporting like gay hairdressers with Real Madrid tattoos instead of Venezuelan gang members, the president stood on that principle.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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Or how about the Justice Department's bizarre decision to pause its case against Eric Adams if he promised to cooperate on immigration? No, nothing about it. Well, OK, but those are just his central policies. Surely the buck literally stops with Trump with the launch of Trump's own crypto coin.

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I don't know much about it other than I launched it. The president of the United States, I don't know much about it except I launched it. Crypto coin, nuclear missiles, I don't know much about it. I just launched them. Hey, Mr. President, could you take this? Yeah, yeah, what should I do with it? Just launch it. You start to wonder, does the buck stop anywhere with this dude?

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January 6th is like your whole brand. It'd be like the hawk to a girl going, actually, I only do hand stuff. Now you're grossed out. So many things that Trump seemingly has no involvement in. Is it possible he's been severed? Is that what all the choreography and merriment is about? Now, maybe you're saying, hey, The man's pushing 80. Maybe it's not a matter of trying to shirk responsibility.

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Maybe he legitimately cannot remember any of this shit.

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Well, then the only other thought here is that the I don't know, I don't remember is a cynical strategy to avoid the buck stopping anywhere near you and evading accountability at all cost. If only there was one clip. that answered that question.

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I'm sorry, considering the option? What, are you trying to order off-menu from the Constitution? Oh, yeah, I see you got a, what do you got, two terms here, but can I get it animal style? What are you gonna do, a third term?

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When we come back, Oren Kass, don't go away.

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My guest tonight, he is the chief economist at American Compass. It's an economic policy think tank. He writes the newsletter Understanding America. He's the author of the forthcoming book, The New Conservatives. Please welcome to the program, Oren Kass. Oren. Thank you for joining us.

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I wanted to have you on. I want to tell you, I really do enjoy your writing. I follow the, I don't know what they're called now, Substack Blog. Substack. Substack. And I read your books. I always find them. I don't necessarily maybe agree with all of it, but I always find it really interesting in really good faith. This is this idea of the new right on the economy.

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Can you explain what's the deviation from previous orthodoxy and sort of what that entails?

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Now, when you say this at the meeting, with the other conservative economists? Did they go, leave us! Like, it really seems like that is fundamental heresy on, you know, I've listened for years. The reason we can't do sort of social engineering or social policy or redistribution of wealth is the government's not in the business of picking winners and losers. That is now off.

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The new right is saying, actually, we do.

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Now, you started, though, you worked with Mitt Romney, who was considered the avatar of... Of that, was he open to this idea? Where did it start to find traction for you that a more activist government, this sort of idea of economic policy as kind of social engineering, when did it start to gain traction?

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In the meeting, what does it sound like when the monocles fall out of the eyes? Does it clink? It just feels like one of those, like, oh!

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There had been an incredible- Protecting that manufacturing base or our industrial center. And then I think in COVID, you saw everyone kind of paused and went, oh, we don't have supply lines to make paper masks. Like we don't have anything. Was that where you saw it really get a foothold?

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There are other methods. Did you try one a few years ago? There are other methods for staying in power beyond when you are legally allowed to be there. Historically, some of them involve catapults. Although maybe Trump has something more creative in mind with the Vance thing. Have you guys heard of the movie Face Off? Yeah. So here's how it's going to work.

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This was in the days of Japanese car makers were making cars that were cheaper. People were preferring them. They were dominating the market in America.

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I've read those mixed things about whether or not, like, that five years later, it actually gave too much leverage to these Japanese countries, and they got to drive very hard bargains for American labor in the South. For instance, they didn't build them in Michigan. They didn't build them where union labor was. They built them... They undercut union labor in some respects.

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And bringing that back and giving the country a resilience that that losing that base actually cost us. And this brings us to Liberation Day, which is April 2nd, April 2nd, April 2nd. Mark it down. Liberation Day. The Trump tariffs. We don't know what they are, but we know they'll work. And that we will live on Mars in, what, eight weeks? I don't know what's going to happen.

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Do you know what's going to happen on Liberation Day?

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You know, in some respects, though, we regard. I think we're putting a certain. motive on China when, in fact, like these were corporations seeking the lowest water of wages and what they could pay people. And certainly labor can't travel the way that capital does. So.

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You know, I guess the idea is we levy these tariffs, and then these corporations that had been seeking this will all go, oh, okay, it's not worth our while anymore, and they'll reinvest in the states. Is that kind of the broad theory of it?

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And the government decides sort of what those constraints are. So they put guardrails around them. I guess the question I have is, tariffs feel I don't want to say whimsical in the sense of, oh, he, you know, dances downstairs in a tutu and says 25 percent on whiskey. Like, but they are executive actions. And if you're a business making a I assume their plans are five year, 10 year, 20 year.

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If they could just be repealed by the next guy and it's not legislation, is that really an effective incentive for bringing back all that manufacturing?

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Trump will watch that movie as the military seizes power. Like, what the fuck? I'm sure at which point Chuck Schumer will say, I will allow it. Because in the third term, we think his popularity will go down to the 30s. So aside from the president saying, I'm not leaving... Is there any other image of the shambolic state of our democracy?

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But wouldn't like the CHIPS Act, right? Wouldn't that be another way of incentivizing without setting up barriers that might be more unpredictable or might be flimsier depending on the whim of an executive? Why don't they embrace that? In the same way, doesn't that add to getting the outcome you want, incentivizing, bringing those jobs back? Why is that unpopular on the right?

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Would you rather see it through that kind of industrial policy or is it a real balancing of all those various levers?

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Did it surprise you? Because we talk about China as being sort of this ascendant economic power. And by the way, it's not just the manufacturing base of America that has been hurt by that. All the countries near China can't compete. All around there, Indonesia, Malaysia, they're struggling with a very similar thing. But then why go after Canada? Do you know what I mean?

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It all seems so weirdly vindictive And then you're like, and then we're going to take over Greenland. Like, it does feel a little less like rebalancing economic inequities. And we've decided on a new world order where big does what it wants and nation states fall. we go back to a little bit of that colonialist model or imperialist or whatever it was. Is that the concern, I guess?

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But don't you think we're buying influence? I would say... So, his... The Trump view is they're abusing us and using us. I think the view I have is America wants to tell them what to do. And so by leveraging our military might, we have sway. But do we? What have we successfully told Japan or Germany to do?

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Stop wearing the lederhosen? I think they've cut down on it.

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because, well, the leverage is on when we want to go into Iraq. I guess what I'm saying is what we want them to do is... Well, that was great. That... Listen, I'm not saying it was right, but you have a guy like J.D. Vance goes to Greenland and shits on Denmark. Like, Denmark lost as many people per capita in those wars as we did.

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Like, they talk about, you know, Denmark's not defending Greenland enough, like, and we'll do it, but aren't we doing it already? Like, they're in NATO, right? So I guess my point is like that stable world order hasn't mistreated the United States. I guess I don't see us as victims of a con game that Europe has been running on us.

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And like the idea that we want Germany to be able to fend off Russia on their own places us in very tenuous position, does it not? Why? I have a book at home. about Germany and their position as a global military power where we didn't have sway. Right. And they did what they wanted. I mean, it didn't work out. Frankly, I don't put a lot of credence. I don't. And by the way, it's also...

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Perhaps something that looks like what you might get if you fed the destruction of democracy into an A.I. meme generator. All right. Elon Musk. OK. The richest and most fertile man in the world went to Wisconsin where he came out in a cheese hat before giving million dollar checks to voters in an effort to influence the Supreme Court race in Wisconsin.

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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You know what that's about? You know what that's about, Elon? Their culture is not your costume, Musk. Their people... Do not appropriate their dairy chapeaus. You can really get a sense of the fraying of our democracy by tracing the arc of its symbolic headwear. It's still a tri-corner, but it's not the same. Meanwhile, the process of streamlining our beautiful democracy continues apace.

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And a couple of months into Trump's second of his, let's say, four to seven terms, he continues to live up to his vaunted apprentice catchphrase, you're fired.

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And so many people, like, so many of the people that use those subsidies are actually working people. They're not, this isn't one of those, like, lazy people sitting on the couch coasting on the government dime. Like, working people with one, sometimes two jobs that still have to subsidize it because they're just not paid enough. And it's very, very difficult.

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But this is, listen, the book, the one...

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We're going to check in with your host for the rest of the week, Michael Kosta. Michael, what do you got for us?

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Again, I think those are all digital. I think everything you mentioned was digital. Do you have, you know, like stocks and bonds and savings?

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In the administration's defense, those veterans shouldn't have been having affairs in the first place. That's on them. And by the way, do we need a department for that? The layoffs have been harsh, unpredictable, and needless to say, the mainstream media has been outraged. So what's the end game here? Killing American jobs?

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Rooting for Americans to lose jobs. I'm sorry, that's empathy for Tesla workers. Apparently at Fox. Those are the only hardworking Americans whose jobs matter. But the question is, with hundreds of thousands of civil servants being often haphazardly fired, is there any corner, no matter how small, of our current government that is safe from Musk's chainsaw of efficiency?

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Yes! Veterans Affairs, Department of Education, USAID, f*** you, f*** you, f*** you! Because all is right at the Department of Accidentally Texting War Stuff to Reporters. But fear not, regular civil service government parasites.

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Perhaps this incident offers an opportunity for you all to get the kind of job security that clearly doesn't come from the quality of your work, but the assiness of your kisses. So, for instance, this Friday, when you, as a civil servant, have to send in your mandatory email to Doge listing the five things you did that week,

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You can keep your job by following the same strategies that these careless Snapchatters employed to keep their jobs. Number one, don't write down, what did I do this week? You know, I took my federal car and went to Hooters and cried there for seven hours. No. You want to save your job, point the same finger of blame that they did for their indiscretions.

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Number one. I repaired the damage done by Joe Biden. How could I be up now at my job considering how bad Joe Biden up before? It's not possible. You need to be in your job to repair his damage. You were at the Hooters because Joe Biden wouldn't. Or couldn't rage eat that many wings. All right. Now, you might be thinking, these Doge guys are slicker than that.

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They're not just going to fall for blame Biden. That's why we hired you. You're sharp. It's not your only move.

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Hillary Clinton's bit bleaching. Who amongst us hasn't tried to bleach our own bits? I think... Obviously, I'm referring to anuses. So, what are we talking about? Biden doesn't work? Throw a slash. Oh, f***. All right. Number one, that's where you fill in. Blame Biden gets you 80% home. Hillary drives you the rest of the way in the trunk of her car shouting Benghazi. All right.

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Now, I know that's a bit of a big swing for your number one thing because here's the problem. Neither Joe Biden nor Hillary probably work in your office, which is why for the number two thing you're going to write to the Doge folks, you're going to bring that finger pointing technique a little closer to home. The Yemen text group chat understood rule number one of self-preservation. Me?

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No, it was that guy. Because remember, you don't have to be faster than the bear. You just have to be faster than your slowest coworker. So CIA director Ratcliffe, who are you faster than?

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By the way, nothing like the director of the CIA going, I read in the paper the Secretary of Defense was the guy to blame. I don't get reports. I just read the New York Times. I have no f***ing idea. He's blaming the Secretary of Defense. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegg. Seth, what do you say?

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My biggest weakness? I'm glad you asked. I think it's that I rule too hard. I may be too awesome. Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, maybe you should have known if this was classified or who was on the text chain.

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Oh! The National Security Council has entered the chat. That's you, Mike Waltz. Do we have ourselves a blame census? J.D. Vance.

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That is the coldest my dear friend Mike I have ever heard. Anyway, Brutus, you were saying about your dear friend Caesar. Now, President Trump, do you want to join the pylon?

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Why are you asking me? I'm just an innocent passerby. I didn't see the accident officer, but I got to tell you, it looks like classic Mike to me. Well, there you have it. Looks like the bottle stopped spitting on Mike Waltz. Time for you to take responsibility and French kiss that Doge chainsaw.

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Unless you've obviously got a more plausible explanation for how a journalist ended up on your incredibly sensitive text chain.

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Normally, that's a disqualifying position for this administration. But go on.

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It's not somebody's contact. It was your contact. And he wasn't sucked in by unseen gravitational forces. You added him to the chat. Which brings us to number two. Number two on your Doge list. What did you do this week? I did a ton of stuff. All of it was right until it was tricked by the lamestream media. Can I tell you something? It's very hard to write backwards.

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My name is John Stewart. Welcome to the Daily Show. We got a great show for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. You're going to be most pleased with this one. Our guest tonight, economist Oren Kass, is going to be here later to discuss tariffs. You're going to have a conservative economist bucking laissez-faire. Just f***ing watch it. But first...

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All right, that might save your job if you're a low-level staffer. But what if you're the department head and Doge wants to know the five things that you did? How are you going to keep your job when it's your name on the bombs? Well, it's step three. Confidently and definitively admit nothing. Thank you all for coming.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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You get it? We didn't endanger troops in a war plan. We endangered them in an attack plan. Who's the asshole now? You know, he must be so upset that every time he lands, everywhere he goes, the reporters keep finding him at every stop. He's probably like, shit. Did I mistakenly add you guys to my travel group chat? Number three. What did I do?

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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I would tell you, but you're probably too stupid to understand, but it was awesome. I'm awesome. That's number three. So now, one, two, three. We've got two more to go, right? Four and five? 60% of your work week is done. We're past hump day and cruising to TGIF. And that sweet government cheese continues to roll in.

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Maybe by day four, it's time you stop justifying your actions to Doge and start celebrating your actions.

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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Not to be that grammar guy. But a Houthi is not a place. You can't... But the point is, for number four on the list, if they're not buying one through three, what did you do this week at the Department of Agriculture? I bombed the shit out of the Houthis. That...

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Jon Stewart on Trump’s 3rd Term Plans & Signalgate Lack of Accountability | Oren Cass

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Now, obviously, these strategies may lead to some of your superiors saying things like, so just bombing the Houthis stops the whole problem? Because I think we've been bombing Yemen for decades. Do we have a follow-up plan to that? And will journalists be on that follow-up chain, too? At which point, case, we turn to number five. It's a Hail Mary.

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We have reached a broad agreement on a very complicated bill.

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That is bad news for gold investors and also a terrible movie sequel. So it turns out gold reacts to supply-demand fear and hubris like every other commodity in the history of markets.

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So, the choice is clear. Either an irrationally overpriced commodity had a totally normal, predictable price correction, or everyone in the world's free markets, media, and government is lying to trick us into selling our precious pot of gold.

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You are absolutely right. Just out of curiosity, let me see here. What does God say about idolizing gold as if it has supernatural powers? Let me see here. Job 31 right here. Job 31. If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold, you are my security, I would have been unfaithful to God on high. That's kind of ambiguous. All right, let's try another one. Ah, Exodus, my favorite. Chapter 32.

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Oh, what a great sin these people have committed. They have made themselves gods of gold. Or, in other words... Idolaters!

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Tomorrow, of course, the Dow will be down 500 because we are being f***ed with. But no matter what happens, there's still good fun to be had during these tough economic times. I know it's rough, the economy, but there's going to be an amusing tidbit if you just look hard enough. For instance, how about an unbelievably inappropriately named financial analyst?

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You are still a millionaire, right? You are still a millionaire, right?

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It's ridiculous to think this random substance has some intrinsic value that's immune to market forces. It's completely ridiculous, John.

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It's burning my hand! Wow, that's an intriguing product. I can't help noticing you're losing some hair now.

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Thank you very much. John Hodgman, everybody. We'll be right back. John Hodgman.

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Art f***ing Cashin? How beautiful is that? And after Art Cash-In, we go to Rob A. Bank. That's the best thing I saw in all this terrible news. Cash-In! Oh, I shouldn't laugh. Actually, my real name is John Smartass Douchebag. Stein. And financial advisors don't just have funny names. They're also presented on the financial networks in a humorous fashion.

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A few weeks ago, we showed you CNBC's incredible Octobox technology. Octobox. It's named, of course, for its creator, German scientist Heinrich Octobox. That's right. That's another funny name. We're working on Columbus Day. Where you at? The Octabox, of course, unveiled when seven commentators couldn't properly analyze the situation. But these are tough times. What if eight pundits isn't enough?

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What if the enormity of this economic collapse is so huge that even eight of the financial industry's smallest-headed people... Can't figure it out. Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever on CNBC, behold the majesty of the DECA box!

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I cannot believe we ever as a society got by with just eight. Now, I know what you're thinking. I see nine or more boxes at the same time. I better see Bruce Valanche in one of those squares. And who knows? Maybe he's in one of these boxes. I can't make out any of their faces. Maybe ten is too much. Maybe we're just not ready.

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Maybe one of them has to go, and there's really only one fair way to do it. All right, Chuck, you ready?

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No whammies and stop. That was a long walk for that joke. Anyway, that was Vince Farrell, CIO of Soleil Securities Group Incorporated, who I thought had added a lot to the conversation up to that point. So what are we going to do to ease the credit crunch and get banks loaning money again? Well, last month, Treasury Secretary Paulson made clear what we won't do.

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Stupid Japanese. Always injecting money. Perverts. Besides, we all know the Japanese solution didn't even work. Their economy's been stagnant for 15 years. There's no way we're ever going to be so desperate as to try.

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Turnin' Japanese, I think I'm turnin' Japanese, I really think so. I'm a bad dancer. For more on the financial meltdown, we go to senior financial analyst Wyatt Cenac. Wyatt, thanks very much for joining us. We very much appreciate you being here. Tough times. This wild market activity we've been seeing, Wyatt, people are scared.

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Why the volatility, Wyatt? Why?

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So what is stable, then? If it's all fictitious, what about gold?

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And... No, no, it's true. Things are delicious.

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Are there any other tips for investors other than survivalist mantras? Anything to keep them calm?

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Wyatt, do you even own... Wyatt, do you even actually own any stock?

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The continued confusion of the worldwide economy is the subject of tonight's Cluster to the Poor House. You know, during an economic crisis, Americans need steady, sober leadership. Now, they say that some leaders are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. And then there's this guy who...

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who couldn't buy great at a great store that was going out of business and had to get rid of all their great. Thank you for the warm welcome.

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A dreamer? I run an office supply store. Don't patronize me. You underestimate my dreaming capacity, Mr. President. I sell highlighters, but my dream is to play professional poker and to bang the Olsen twins. Please.

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But with the economy vacillating between disastrous and disastrous even for South America, the president proved he still wasn't afraid to take questions from a carefully selected group.

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Hmm. Guernsey office products. What could that be a front for? In fact, only one person there had the guts to take President Bush to task.

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Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. I hope everybody had a great weekend there. For a second, I thought everybody was leaving. Tonight on the show, we got a good one. Author Amity Shlaes is going to be joining us. She has written a book on the Great Depression, or as it's soon to be known, the First Great Depression. GD1.

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And don't get me started on your foreign policy. You're like the anti-King Midas. Everything you touch turns f***. Then the Secret Service forcibly escorted the president away from himself. Now, obviously, the economic crisis has real consequences for real people, which is why it's surprising that the news networks will only explain the crisis to those real people's children.

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Like the pizza. I have a hard time visualizing your point.

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Our economy is six dominoes. Hey, that looks pretty good. They seem very stable architecturally. They're all standing upright. No! No! Oh! Did not see that coming. But if I understand your analogy correctly, and I think that I do, you're saying that for America's economy to get better, we need to space our banks further apart.

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Or perhaps build them, build the original lending institutions in a pre-flattened state. Ranch-style banks, if you will. All right, so you've explained the economy to nine-year-olds, but I know a six-year-old with a lot of money in the market, and he finds the domino explanation obtuse.

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I like bouncing things. Can anyone explain this to me? Look, I don't run a hedge fund, but my brain is attached to my spinal cord. Anybody? Our economics correspondent, Paul Salmon, will now explain. Thank you, PBS.

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Seems to me like the economy is so bad that this guy had to move back in with his grandmother. Paul Solman, are you putting the zeros on the coffee table again?

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Now, it might seem strange to be discussing an economic downturn today as the Dow Jones Industrial was up nearly a billion points. It was up 1,000 points on rumors that money does, in fact, grow on trees. That's what they were spreading around. It was very exciting. Everybody was excited for one day to see the stockbrokers jumping up into their windows.

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You know, we just went through an insane week. Everything seems very unpredictable, even terrifying. It's good to know there's one thing we can always count on.

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You know, that convicted felon makes a lot of sense. Although if I recall, he didn't think he or Nixon would ever go down either. Gold! It's the ultimate fear hedge. When the dollar fails and the world plunges into a dystopian nightmare of vicious tribes warring for dwindling necessities, you'll always have gold. Excuse me, good sir! You look like a man who appreciates the finer things.

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Might I interest you in some Krugerrands in exchange for some of your processed combustion engine fuel? No? Well, how about then I become your wife? Fortunately, that's never gonna happen because gold goes up, not down.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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I didn't think they cared for you is what happened. They wouldn't let us do even that dumb thing we just did in the first act on AI. Like, what is that sensitivity? Why are they so afraid to even have these conversations out in the public sphere?

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What are the companies? So these are separate things. Monopolies The way I always viewed it was, oh, that's only one company. But don't we have oligopolies in this country? Aren't there industries? Consolidation has made it. For instance, the entertainment industry is controlled by like six companies. Is that considered not a monopoly, but a problem?

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But then it took them, I mean, it wasn't until the Sherman Act in, what, 1890-something? I mean, when did they first decide? Was it the beginning of industrialization when they finally decided, like, oh, we should probably put a halt to this?

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Can we just hold on for one second? Can you take the camera real quick? I want to take a single real quick, if I can. I don't know which one. Let me take this one. I nailed that Sherman thing, didn't I? I came out of nowhere. I think I might have learned that in, like, ninth grade. Stuck. Has that been updated since 1890?

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What would you posit? What would you put forth to control this new AI technology that is looming? And I'm not talking about censorship. I'm not talking about government deciding you can't say that or you can't print that. I'm talking about in terms of business practices, these few companies controlling the entire mechanism.

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And so and hoovering up data and creating algorithms that are clearly harmful, not just to children, but to political discourse. And it's pretty wild how they're able to do that. And every now and again, they get called in front of Congress, and Mark Zuckerberg, you know, doe-eyed, goes like... Like and subscribe. You know, I don't know.

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But are you optimistic that we will be able to catch up to this in time before something truly catastrophic happens through AI?

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Right. Boy, would you stay forever? Because it's incredibly impressive what you're doing. Thank you so much.

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First question, obviously, how are you? This was obviously a traumatic experience. How are you feeling?

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I have to say, and I know this, it sounds peculiar to say this, because of the traumatic experience that you endured. I love this book. Thank you. It's a beautiful work of introspection. I know now how your mind works. You know, I've read other of your books, but you really do a wonderful job of taking us through how you think.

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I had to read this book with another book next to me to get just some of the references. But it allows you, you know, sometimes you'll read an author's memoir and there's a certain self-consciousness to it. But maybe because this is about a traumatic incident, I feel like your defenses were down and it was very revelatory.

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Yes. The love story, by the way, is with his wonderful wife, Eliza, who is really the hero, maybe, of the book.

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Is there competition in writerly families?

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I thought a really interesting part of the book is, spoiler alert at the end, when you go back to Chautauqua. Chautauqua is the famed community in upstate New York where they bring in speakers and where this unfortunate event happened. Yeah. And you go back to revisit the scene of it, but also the jail, where they are holding this person that attacked you.

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It blows my... But you didn't have a desire necessarily to see this individual. No, I just wanted to see the jail.

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Well, Eliza, my wife, said, stop doing that. I can imagine this gentleman just glancing out the window for no apparent reason going, is that the guy? Yeah, and he's dancing at the car park. You know, you talk a lot about your thoughts about this gentleman and whether you wanted to confront him.

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There's actually a really wonderful section of it, almost like a Socratic litigation that you do in four parts. Yeah, I make him up. You make him up. Yeah. But you don't make him defenseless. No. The litigation that you and the dialogue that you have with him is challenging.

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And what would be the metrics of that? Like, how would you judge that? Because I know you've sued Amazon.

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It makes you wonder about, you know, you spent since 1989, this fatwa is put upon you, and it's these fundamentalists, and these are religious extremists who have decided they're going to punish you for whatever their reasoning was. You write, though, that this gentleman is sort of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of that.

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And that's for those practices.

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But it's... I wonder if you think of it, does it strike you as a change in fundamentalism? You know, you say he was radicalized by Iman Yutubi, that he watched YouTube videos. And do you think this attack had more to do with like John Lennon's attack or with a religious attack?

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Right.

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That is how we describe it as well, by the way. He's got that New Jersey brain. Exactly. Do you think that there is a shift? You know, we think of fundamentalism as primarily a religious artifact. Have the algorithms made fundamentalism something different from that?

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Yeah, as I read the story, I started thinking, you know, we're so used to this idea of violence with a cause, this idea that there is something deep inside them that can almost be noble or understandable. This is not that. It struck me more as more in common with the school shootings we see here or the other things that you were just this thing he saw.

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So he's going through it and going like, I don't need serious radio anymore. So this...

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Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you. Do you wonder sometimes, you know, and this is not to get, but you and I are both getting older, and you write a lot in the book about... Speak for yourself, John. Saddle down. I was just on jury duty, by the way. I don't know if you saw the picture of my doppelganger. But there is mortality.

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You write about Martin Amis and Paul Oster and people that you've lost, even during the writing of this book, lost to esophageal cancer. You had a cancer scare in the middle of rehabilitation.

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Well, you're right. He writes, he goes to the doctor.

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It depends on if you have a Jersey brain.

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It's so incredible because you face this, as you write in the book, this 27 seconds. Yeah. It was just 27 seconds. And yet, do you think about... And pardon the question, but do you think, does it matter how you die? As you watched your friends and you thought about your fate and your brush with mortality, and then to have this cancer scare, did it make you think it mattered how you die?

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I prefer not to. I've got some bad news. It's coming for all of us.

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Just your feet, though, not the whole body.

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I'll pick somebody. But it strikes me because you, whether you've wanted this mantle or not, and I'm assuming you don't, you represent something. you represent a courage and a freedom of artistic expression, of the importance of artistic expression, and of the danger that artistic expression often visits upon the people who do it. It's a noble shield to carry, but not an easy one, I don't imagine.

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Well, I have to tell you, I'm pretty sure that's in there too. Is that in there?

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But it's, you know, with that on you, do you feel... There's an idea that you have to wear that heroism.

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I have a dog in that fight. What do you think how the nature of fundamentalism has changed and how... that affects artistic expression. Like even now, when we see all the protests up at Columbia University, some students protest this, others think that's going too far and they're threatening people. And we're crossing all those difficult lines. You spoke at the Penn banquet, yes? Yeah, last year.

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Last year, which is a consortium of writers and poets and a lot of people, truly defenders of free speech. I just got a text today. They've canceled.

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I don't want to hear any negativity. No. But so do I, John. But it speaks to, in 1989, there was an Ayatollah and a Fatwa and a group of religious muckety-mucks who delivered the law from high above. And now we're all fundamentalists.

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Do you think of, you know, you have a dog in the fight in that creative. How do we, and I think about this a lot, how do we manage that and is that just a function of the algorithm?

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It's lovely to see you. You run the Federal Trade Commission.

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It's actually on page, if I would. Exactly. But you are thoughtful enough and you've been through it enough that I know you have an opinion.

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Right. But haven't groups always had a way of...

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That's the question. I mean, and again, not to make you the avatar of this, but this is coming from a man who, because of threats from fundamentalists, had to basically alter your entire life.

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Well, you had made a decision. I'm going to come out of this and make myself available.

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Right.

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Is there anything in the company's leader that also suggests that? Like, for instance, if you were to go from being like sort of a nerdy dude who sold books out of a garage into, let's say, a jacked Lex Luthor type... Does that also suggest either monopolistic practices or some type of injections?

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Do you find yourself now Is there still that PTSD? What does that do to you?

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Do you feel like you're in that writing rhythm again? Has your mind started to dream again? Let's finish this, John. And by the way, let me tell you something. We don't have people on where I don't either read it or take a look. It's such a beautiful and incredibly interesting and revelatory book.

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I really thank you for writing it because you had to endure something awful, but your insight into that experience is really a remarkable gift to give to other people. Thank you.

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a couple of funny business. But it really is thank you fantastic piece of work and I and I I thank you for doing it. The book is called knife. It is available as we speak someone rushed. It's so nice to see you.

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Everyone is aware there was a huge viral moment in sports reporting and you Monica were at the center of it concerning of an appearance on Stephen a Smith show and and a young basketball player on the fever. Who's apparently generating quite a bit of Congress to tell us a little bit about that viral moment.

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The tone had changed, and I just kind of needed to put my foot down a little bit. There was some defensiveness on the part of the individuals. You've covered basketball for many, many years. You played basketball. I did. You followed the NBA for many years. You know what you're talking about.

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The tenor of the conversation, as I could tell, was they were saying to you, no, we know what we're talking about, even though we just tuned into this whole thing last Wednesday.

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Beautifully said. Now... And I'm going to tell you this. Tell me. I have not particularly followed the WNBA on a day-to-day. I follow women's basketball sometimes more in college, I think. And in the old days, Dawn Staley and those players, I did follow that. Yep. But I have incredibly strong opinions about it anyway. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.

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But what did strike me when I started watching the highlights is, You know this is a very physical league. You know so many people complain about the NBA now as the league is soft and they don't play like they did like the Knicks did in the 90s with Oak and with all Mason and all those guys. And then you see this physical league, and now they're saying, hey, why so physical?

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And I guess I'm struggling to understand, is it because so many new fans are being introduced to this who don't have the context? Bingo. Nailed it. You could have a talk show, John. Let's go. Let's get out of here. Let's do it. I nailed it.

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I think quite favorable. How many lawyers do you like, for instance? So what are you up against? So you've got government lawyers. I'm assuming you've got a pretty good cadre of them. But like, let's say you're going after Amazon. How many lawyers are there?

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Yeah. No, that's... But you know, in your heart, there is another layer of conversation going on beneath this that has been introduced onto the stage, and that is, look... We all know everything that underlines society in many ways goes along race, class, and gender. And race, class, and gender has entered the conversation.

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That's exactly right.

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Right.

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And what's so amazing about it is... What I have heard from some of the commentary are people who just got there saying, this is so unfair to the sweet white girl. Now, first of all, Kaylin Clark looks like a competitor. She looks like somebody who's really a competitor. But the odd part is, I'm always interested in this idea that sports exists

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But in the same breath...

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Not true.

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So I am going to tell you this. The viral moment maybe brought you to some national attention. I have been loving what you do. You are such a good basketball analyst and announcer. I've been following you on the New York Dates, you and O'Keefe. Some of my favorite moments are the two of you.

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The play-by-play guy. I mean, you're so knowledgeable. I love basketball. I've been following the Knicks for 130 years. I love it. I was in the stands in Madison Square Garden at the very top of it when they played the Celtics in double overtime when they won the championship in 72 against the Celtics when it looks like all was lost. I've loved it for a long time.

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Your voice, your knowledge, your passion has cut through it for me. It's very rare that I turn on the radio or hear a new voice and go, oh, that person, they can explain this to me. And you really do. I appreciate that, John. You're a wonderful man. Thank you. I mean that wholeheartedly. That's how you got here.

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I had you on every day during the playoffs.

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The whole shebang. And you are in charge of... It's protecting Americans from monopolistic company practices, but also dealing with pricing and things like that, protecting consumers.

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Yeah. We had fun. Is it. Is there some sense of like a little bit of like when an indie band hits it big. Are there people within the WNBA community who feel like I don't want this to belong to everybody. I want it to belong to this band of sisters that have worked so hard to make it something.

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If you're just looking at lawyers, they outnumber you ten to one.

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No, no question. And I think one of the difficulties of it is because it's a small league. I think people don't realize as small as the NBA is, there's still two rounds of a draft and there are guys that get picked up out of a G League and there's space on a team. There's a big roster when you're in the WNBA. Boy, there's just not that many teams.

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And you're talking about a draft even when it's eight deep, 12 deep. Some of those people may not make the team. These are women that have been playing the game for a very long time.

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It's not how Brittany Gruner ended up in Russia. She was playing overseas because it doesn't make the money.

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As a broadcaster, your story in some ways mirrors the story of the WNBA in terms of having to fight for attention with people who, in some respects, are not particularly humble. about their position and slightly defensive about those who may come at it from a different perspective. Do you see that reflected in what you had to go through and your journey to get to the desk that you're at now?

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And does that give you hope for the WNBA's future?

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And it really brings up the interesting question. Um... Who does have the worst takes? Any given day, John. Any given day. All right. Final question. I am an enormous Knicks fan. Yes, we know. And I want desperately to know if what I'm seeing, if the love that I am feeling, I have opened my heart again. You know, Monica, it's been so long. Thank you so much.

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I've opened up my heart again to a basketball team. I never thought it would happen again.

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I'm so proud of you. That was a big move. But, Monica, I have to tell you something. Tell me. I'm afraid to be hurt. It's okay. And will the Knicks hurt me? Life is full of surprises. That was a hesitation, Monica. That was not... That was a hesitation!

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So this isn't about just getting a fine. This isn't about going after Amazon and saying, so, because this is what the SEC does. The SEC, I think, is overmatched as a government agency. And you don't have to comment on that, but just nod your head. utterly overmatched. So they go after groups, and then they can't really prove it in court. So then they're like, how about this?

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All right. But you got to play the games. That's why we go to the games. And I don't want to be a sad meme anymore, which is always what happens when I'm at the games. Monica, what a delight to meet you. And I'm such a fan of yours. And I wish you all the best and continued success. Monica McDonald of ESPN and Whoever It's Radio you're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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You give us a cut of your profit, and we'll all be done here. How do you handle that with Amazon? It's not just about a fine.

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You just did not go there. I like that. So have you had success with this?

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Oh, it suddenly turned into a pro wrestling match here. What's going on? And he went to jail. Do you have to refer things to the DOJ or do you have an enforcement arm?

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I imagine that the practice that he did in the pharmaceutical industry, which was taking a life-saving drug and jacking the price up by, I don't know how many thousands of percent. I mean, he did something crazy, right? How do you keep that as a normal practice in the pharmaceutical industry? I mean, are they colluding as a group to keep prices high?

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Why are we having so much trouble with them and prescription drug prices?

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Absolutely. And shortages of those drugs.

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So you being entrepreneurial is their game. We're going to see how far we can push this and get away with it and do these different things in the hopes that we don't run up against an entrepreneurial or crafty FTC. Are they waiting you out?

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Right. And I think there's probably a biblical sin in there that's probably the root cause of the whole thing. But I want to talk about the tech companies, because they are the new oligarchs, it would seem. They are the companies that, and you see this especially in Europe, where they are fined considerable amounts of money for monopolistic practices, or Apple just had to pay an enormous fine.

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And how is... Well, please... Now, I just want to make it very clear. You were not bullied or tricked into applauding, no? I don't want to be accused of monopolistic. How much pressure do these companies exert on the Federal Trade Commission?

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Microsoft has always been found guilty of certain monopolistic practices when it comes along. How do you handle enforcement for these new, incredibly consolidated and enormous oligarchies?

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What is the one against Facebook?

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NOW, WHY IS THAT CONSIDERED MONOPOLY? WOULDN'T THEY SAY, WELL, THAT'S A SIGN OF OUR SUCCESS? WE'RE SO SUCCESSFUL, WE HAVE EXTRA MONEY, AND WITH THAT EXTRA MONEY, WE MAKE BETS ON CERTAIN COMPANIES, AND WE TURN THOSE INTO SUCCESSES.

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Oh, you're not allowed to do that.

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Can I tell you something crazy? So I had put in an offer for last week tonight. I had come out. Now, it wasn't... And I'm going to tell you something. And because it's Oliver, I offered to him in doubloons. Is that what British people use? Obviously, I didn't take it. But you have to make the decision, then, of whether or not they are cornering the market.

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They used to call it cornering the market. But couldn't you say, like, Apple, Microsoft, they are kind of working together to corner markets, no?

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If that would be like if a hotel says, oh, you can get us on Expedia or you can get us on kayak or you can get us on. But all those companies are using the same algorithm. Would that mean that it flattens those prices and you are not getting the competitive advantage that you might get from those 10 to 15 apps that are searching for the cheapest hotel rooms? Is that the idea?

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And it's not just paying more. I mean, you could look at a company like Walmart, where you would say, OK, they came into areas and they dominated all the competition. They didn't buy up the mom and pop shops. But because they had access to cheap labor and overseas goods and those types of things, they could undersell them and put them all out of business.

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In other words, how much do they fight whatever regulation you're trying to put into place to keep them from becoming monopolies or from these types of business practices?

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And even at that moment, they might not raise their prices, but boy, could they. And boy, could they exert their influence on supply chains. And boy, could they depress wages and make sure that people, even if they're working long hours, still have to have social assistance. Is that something that you could go after?

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I see the audience has no use for baby formula, but has an interesting predilection. What do you do in that instance?

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And then you guys are the ones that have to separate the eggs. It's curious to me that the government wouldn't have other methods of working with these corporations to ask them to curb their excesses in exchange for what they get, which is the stability of the American system.

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Without killing innovation.

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That's the balance.

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Is industry more consolidated today? I mean, my... Gut would tell me it is more consolidated. You have larger companies that swallow up in the pursuit of growth, swallow up and consolidate. It feels that way to me. Do you have the metrics that suggest that that's actually the case?

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Wait, what? I always thought that was all just DEI. Are you telling me? This gets us to our final point. So now they're saying this new algorithm, this new... kind of machine learning model called AI. That's going to transform every aspect of American life in the American economies. It's already being consolidated. Apple has bought 30 AI models. Microsoft has probably bought. Google has bought.

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They all buy. AI startups and put them behind their paywall. And they're already having an arms race to see who will be either the monopoly or this will be an oligopoly. I got to tell you, I wanted to have you on a podcast. And Apple asked us not to do it, to have you. They literally said, please don't talk to her. Having nothing to do with what you do for a living. I think they just...

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Usually I get that reaction at assisted living facilities. Right between Murder, She Wrote and Jeopardy.

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Yeah, yeah. It's very... And you... And we've now proven we'll send anybody to the White House.

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Not just once. We proved it twice. Two times. Very impressive. So the presidency is, as President Kennedy once said, the vital center of action. It's where the life of the nation is most dramatically manifested, both for good and for ill. Who knew for ill would be quite so formidable in this era? And so the human drama...

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with the larger story of the populace of power, to me, is the most fascinating story you can possibly have. What I think about, the people I've written about have been flawed, imperfect people, fallible people, who just at the last possible moment managed to bend the arc of history in the right direction. And they just got it right 51% of the time. These are not 60-40 people.

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These are not 80-20 people necessarily. These are 51-49. And I think that should give us some hope for democracy itself because a democracy is the fullest expression of all of us. And I'm sure you're a better person than I am. That's not hard. Don't get cocky.

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I was going to mention that. But I think that... If we get things right just enough of the time in our own lives, which most of us do, you know, I get things wrong a lot. But when I get something right, OK. So that's what democracy is, because it's the fullest expression of all of us.

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There was a long pause. There was a long pause. Look, I think the best thing that's happened in these 100 days is the evidence of the public reaction to what's unfolding. And the numbers are not great. And so it may just be that, as Winston Churchill once said, you can always count on the Americans to do the right thing once they've exhausted every other possibility.

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Well, Doris Goodwin and I have a, we do action figures for it. It's very exciting.

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It started out as a great undertaking. It was Franklin Roosevelt in the winter of 1933, 25% unemployment, a serious question about whether American democracy would survive, whether democratic capitalism could survive. You had totalitarianism taking root in Berlin, in Rome, in Moscow. Huge question about whether democracy would work and endure here.

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FDR, the night he became president, the first of the 100 days, is having a glass of whiskey and going to bed, like we all should do. And an aide comes to him and says, kind of pretentiously when you think about it, said, Mr. President, if you solve the crisis of the Depression, you'll go down as our greatest president. But if you fail, you'll go down as our worst.

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And FDR looked at him and said, if I fail, I'll go down as our last. He understood the stakes of the hour. And so in those 100 days, he did everything he could, just threw everything at the wall, trying to get the first New Deal passed. And, you know, the 1930s and 40s, we live in the long shadow of that.

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It redefined the relationship of the government to the people, not just the New Deal, but the Second World War. We had federal spending with something like 3.9% of GDP in 1941. It was 30% during the war. It went back down to about 22% in our most prosperous years in the 1950s.

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And so I know we all want to think that it's just the private sector and it's just individual initiative and we're all Horatio Alger people. You know what? The government has a lot to do with this. The public sector has a lot to do with this. And to cut mindlessly is just mindless.

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We should. You know why? Because there was this creature.

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Right. Biden was doing this and Biden was doing that. We know he was a president of the United States. And so let's give him the title on the hope that perhaps the beginning with a little civility might hearken some sanity. It's a small hope.

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Right. So I said for the first four years, basically from 2015 until after the 2020 election. So not just January 6th, but the call to Georgia, the fake electors, the attempt to overturn an election that. And this is against my business model. When I say something is unprecedented, that doesn't help me as a historian. But. This was unprecedented. No American president had ever done this.

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Andrew Jackson had lost a much closer election. He hashtagged it. He called it a corrupt bargain. But he went back home to Nashville and just ran again. Nobody stormed the Capitol. Nobody did this. And so that was a difference of kind. And I. I didn't think the American people would do this again. I didn't think 49.9% would do it again. But you can't be for democracy only when you win.

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And so the question now is we're all facing this extraordinary test of citizenship. And he is, I think, knocking down a lot of the barriers, a lot of the guardrails, a lot of the institutions that are flawed and imperfect, like all of us, but which have, in fact, served us well enough to still have a system that's worth defending.

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And so, again, these polls show me, suggest, that people are not thrilled about chaos that at least is economically painful.

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And that's a really important thing here, right, is politicians all act on incentive. Lincoln said that all men act on incentive. And so people talk themselves into thinking in the 2024 election that President Trump would represent prosperity. Well, eh, you know. My favorite headline of the week was, Trump has planned to work around tariffs for car makers. What does that mean? Outer space.

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The tariff aliens came, and we're going to stand up against these evil tariffs? It was like, you know. So cognitive dissonance is an American characteristic, but we don't have to go quite that bad.

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Well, I hope not. Yeah, because you're right.

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That's OK. Well, you're from Kentucky. Touché! Yeah, yeah. Says the Tennessean.

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No, I think... Here's what I do think is happening. I think that, and I was not a great math student, so when a pendulum goes this far, right, when it drops back, it doesn't go back to the middle. It keeps going. So you don't have... President Trump is not a recipe for us to have a president from the Brookings Institution next time.

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Right. For some sort of moderate, you know, we're all going to reason together. The pendulum will probably move pretty far that way. And I think I never thought I would say this, but the longer President Trump governs the way he's governing, the more likely he's making the presidency of AOC. A little bit.

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And as the right wing gets their chyrons ready about that, that's simply a historical point about when you push too far, there's always a reaction.

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Sure. I don't know if it's likely, but I don't know if it's likely. But we live in a world where Donald Trump's been president twice. What's likely?

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Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing, it's actually, and I used the image I shouldn't have, it's not an inanimate image. To call it a guardrail actually suggests that there's some non-human force that's gonna save us. Institutions are human. So when we say the courts, we should really say judges. Right? When we say Congress, we should say Congress, people, and senators.

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When we say universities, it's university presidents and boards, right? It's us. And we are going to get what we deserve. And that's a terrifying thought in many ways. But I do think what Harvard did recently is really important because Fear is a really good starter for demagogues. It's hard. It's not a great finisher. It's hard to keep a lot of people afraid for a really, really long time.

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But to fight fear, you need courage. And courage is one of the most contagious things you can imagine.

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We're all the media now. This is another question of terminology. There's the press, and then there's the media. And anybody with a cell phone actually can now reach far more people than Cronkite ever thought about reaching, right? I mean, just anyone. So the notion of a gatekeeper, I think, is pretty much gone, to state the obvious.

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I think that the more you can say... The more you can just actually stand up for truth and just facts, I think, is the best thing to do.

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I know. They're sweet. They were sweet. They were sweet. They were a little cute. They were fuzzy.

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They really were little tiny facts. Um... And so just say, and the notion, this is one of the more troubling things. that's happened in the last decade or so is the notion that facts are partisan. The moment when the incumbent vice president said, well, we weren't going to do any fact checking. Remember during the debate, one of the moderators tried to say something. We're not going to do it.

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As if, OK, we're just suspending reality now. Right. So I would, I think investing as much, as many resources as possible on saying this is accurate, this is not. Two plus two equals four. And just because President Trump says it equals.

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But unfortunately, that reality show becomes our reality.

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It's like being the best restaurant in the hospital. Yeah.

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It depends on how it turns out. If this is seasonal, Then we will look at it as a case study in how the legitimate cares and concerns of a lot of people were manipulated and marshaled by someone who did not actually have their cares and concerns at heart. And it will be an example of how American democracy can veer out of a lane of reality based rule based order.

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If this is chronic, then it will be a great battle to tell the truth about this and to bear witness to no. This is what is true. Just because someone who got more votes than the other guy says that something is true does not make it so.

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Well, what's the alternative, right? I mean, we didn't, as John Belushi said, we did not give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm going to end it right there.

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Catherine Zeta-Jones was in your seat, sir.

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Is that an aspirin? You know what? Take it back with you. Take it to Cairo. We don't care. Nice, right? She's very sweet. That's nice. You're going to like TV. You're going to like it. Here's the thing that is very unusual to me. You are a very accomplished heart surgeon as well before you got into this.

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Now, obviously, Jews and Muslims, there is tension amongst the cultures at times, 2,000 years. But one thing we probably share is that going to your mother as a heart surgeon and saying, yeah, I think I'm going to be a comedian, would be a problem.

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My guest tonight, a scholar of religions and author. His latest book is the bestseller, Zealot, The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth. Please welcome back to the program, Reza Aslan.

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Reza, I just want to be clear. You're a Muslim. Yeah. Why would you write a book on the founder of Christianity?

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I was just reading that. Do you remember, I don't know if you remember this, you went on Fox and the lady was asking you those questions and I was just watching that like, oh my God! Press is gonna strangle this person! I did okay. You did wonderful. You did, it was incredible.

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Yeah, right, right.

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TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

1879.218

Yeah, nice menorah. Yeah. Hey, enjoy your patina latkes. How are you doing otherwise?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

1940.58

Power does Rohani. You know, we saw the eight years of Ahmadinejad. We saw the Green Revolution where Mousavi appeared to have defeated Ahmadinejad electorally. It seemed like there was shenanigans. That's a Yiddish word for... Manipulated election. There were tremendous protests in the streets, tremendous violence. This movement is sort of driven underground.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

1966.947

Rouhani is considered in that sort of Mousavi camp, yes?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

1974.111

But does he have any real power, or does it all still rest with the supreme leader? And if Khamenei says that he's in the isolationist camp, are they in the isolationist camp?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2025.425

Oh, I thought you were going to go to Jews again. I thought of that. Yeah. I thought that's where we were going here, and that I was going to have to, again, once again, say, we're actually quite pleasant when you get to know us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2044.569

Well, because in this country, we have an isolationist camp, and we have a camp. I mean, it's similar. You're playing to a very particular, much more rigid base here that won't... You know, you saw the kerfuffle that occurred when Obama just shook Raul Castro's hand, let alone trying to forge some kind of way forward with Iran.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2076.601

So you do watch our show.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

210.124

So comedy, a little more lucrative than the heart surgery business. A lot. I knew I was smart not to do that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2145.279

No, and I think when you look at it, there are certain absolute boogeymen that are out there, the United Nations, Iran. And not for no reason. There are certain things that Iran is doing. They are bad actors in certain fields of play and all that. But if we don't engage these countries and try and build more productive relationships, I think we're beginning to learn that...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2168.074

pure sanctions-driven consequences or invading them and trying to hold the territory until a government arises that likes us is not maybe the answer.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

220.929

I think that's probably smart, too. How did this all begin? What... During the revolution, did you just decide this is the time to try and express this thought? This is the time to do something I've wanted to try for a while?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

2216.135

Yeah, absolutely. Unbelievable. Stick around for a little bit. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. We want to talk about a couple other things. Zealot is on the bookshelves now. Reza Aslan, ladies and gentlemen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

253.741

Is it really this type of conspiracy stuff? Because that's, we have a gentleman here. Does Glenn Beck have a show in Egypt or no?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

280.2

Some blue ray came from the eyes of... So basically it's Freemason and the Americans and Israel have gathered together to hypnotize the Egyptian people to go to Tahrir Square to complain.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

304.778

Working together.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

307.181

Wow. How do they decide what to eat at the meeting? That would be kosher. Got to be kosher, I would think. Yeah. Are the people resentful that the powers that be don't believe that they would have the wherewithal to stand up on their own?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

346.52

It's the same. Well, it's very interesting that the medias in our country that are not, there's sort of an establishment media, and then there's what's going on in the street, and the twain don't really meet. Yes. And you try and occupy that space in the middle of that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

368.91

No. I think you look better in a suit, but other than that, I think we're the same.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

387.271

Give it 14 years, my friend. It'll come. It'll come. Bassem, I can't tell you. Here's the thing. I watched your program. I had it translated. I don't know a tremendous amount about Egyptian politics because, obviously, as an American, we prefer not to know that much about countries we meddle in. So, but I do know a little something about the humor business. Your show is sharp.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

411.047

You're really good on it. It's smart. It's well executed. I just, I think the world of what you're doing down there And I couldn't be more pleased that you're here. Can you stick around? We'll throw a little bit more up on the web and have a nice talk. Bassem Youssef, ladies and gentlemen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

57.372

All right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

66.531

Yes. Are there any shows in Egypt that have an audience? No. Do they do live studio audience?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Arab American Heritage Month

81.794

The television and the live audiences and things like that? Yes. How difficult is it to do a show like you're doing, a comedy show, when the stability of the country is still in question? Because it's difficult for me, and we're pretty stable. But I still get the hate with the people. They don't like me. What happens with you? Death threats.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1016.139

She's awesome. But even with all marijuana's proven benefits, there's always one guy who's gotta be a total narc.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1042.593

You heard the man. Hey! Let the man be ideologically consistent. Or at least appear that way. No Christie administration will tolerate, let alone raise revenue from anything addictive or that federal law disapproves of. Roll the tape.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1071.411

Well, there is a difference, though, to be fair. If you smoke too much pot, no one comes to break your knees.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1090.515

Welcome to the show.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

112.947

Their desperate parents plea for them to just say, If you go to the zoo and see a gibbon in a beret reciting Ginsburg's howl over the wail of a Coltrane 78, don't worry, you're not high, the monkey is. A new study released earlier in the week reports that monkeys will repeatedly dose themselves with THC, the active ingredient of marijuana, if given the chance.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

139.212

Researchers found that squirrel monkeys repeatedly pushed a lever to self-administer THC through injection. Though in all fairness, an earlier study had given all of the monkeys glaucoma.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

152.922

According to the scientists, the monkeys didn't show any sign of being sedated by the drug, though they did show signs of paranoia, claiming they felt like they were in cages while being watched by men in lab coats.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

22.942

Don't Bogart that prescription, man. The grooviest federal advisory panel ever has just released a report that claims patients suffering from serious diseases should be allowed to smoke medical marijuana. While critics... All right. While critics contend marijuana is dangerous and often leads to much more addictive substances like laughter and sex. Here's the drug czar where the drugs are.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

60.675

Ah, yes. The itching and swelling of cannabinoids. And the embarrassment of eating your donut pillow. Doctors are worried about the respiratory effects of smoking marijuana, but there's some good news and some good news. Talk to me, dude.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

724.057

Today is... What day is today? Ah, April 20th. And that date, when written in numeric form, indicates that it's time for... Uncle Johnny's, Super Kush, Totally Chillax, Sticky Icky, Informative, Marijuana News Report.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

756.897

I honestly look like a rainbow-haired Larry Fine from the Three Stooges right now. 420, man! Best day of the year! My brothers. Let's tune in and drop out and get totally baked on news. And there's one network that gets the groove that I'm grooving.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

798.322

Yeah! Like I always say, CNN is cool as f***. And I'm way ahead of you guys. I got the munchies all set. I got my Ben and Jerry's vanilla, whoa, what? I got my Ben and Jerry's vanilla Afikoman crunch. It's basically lactate ice cream with real bits of matzah hidden right inside there. The good news is the more you eat it, the less matzah you have to deal with. All right, first up, weed three.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

829.132

Take it away, Sanjay. Feel good, pa? Hope he ties up all the loose ends from weeds one and two.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

85.63

Yeah. An inhaler will likely be lauded by 14-year-old shop students, but drastically change the image of the high school burnout. I'm gonna kick your ass after gym. Dork. Research monkeys become addicted to marijuana.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

861.66

Well, you me, CNN. I'm ready for weed stock, the whole thing, and you're giving me this. This is an actual news report. What, are you going to bore me with an economics lesson now?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

883.805

This pot story isn't fun at all. It's all about disease and taxes and what about free love and hot boxing and free love hot boxing? Come on, guys!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

936.705

Ooh, look at the square. What? It's 420. Why can't we just sit back, hit the dube, and use a Pink Floyd gatefold album to sift out the seeds in our lid of skunk weed?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

966.701

You know, it's gunkly. Schwag.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

997.031

I believe it's a Vicks. It's a vaporizer. It's not a, I add some albuterol sometimes if my allergies are kicking in. You know, pollen in the maze.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

0.089

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

101.945

Asian Americans. Well, no. Asian Americans.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

105.487

They're from Asia. They're Asian Americans. I understand that, but as a... Okay, they make more money, higher education, more affluent. So it's Asian privilege, not white privilege. You're missing the point.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

166.048

Maybe you haven't figured out that there is no more slavery, no more Jim Crow, and the most powerful man in the world is... a black American, and the most powerful woman in the world, Oprah Winfrey, is black, okay?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

200.368

It absolutely exists today. Let's go a different way. It exists for every race, not at that extent. So that's why. But you don't put forth this, oh, white privilege, and if you fail, that's why you fail. America is now a place where if you work hard, get educated, and an honest person, you can succeed. That's what should be put out there, not all this other stuff.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

232.6

Collectively, yes, but not... No, individually. Listen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

254.338

Do you know why that is?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

270.168

They're forced to live there. They have to live there.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

297.177

Yeah. It wasn't lavish. No, they weren't subsidized. They were sold to GIs, and the GIs got a mortgage they could afford. Look, you're making a huge mistake.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

313.227

Every upbringing leaves a mark on other people. Could black people live in Levittown? Not at that time. They could not.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

334.361

1950. Were there black people living there in 1960? In Levittown? Yes. I don't know. There weren't. How do you know? Because I read up on it. Oh, you read up. You don't know that. I do know that. I can find somebody. My point is this. Even today... Why would you want to live there? It's a nice place, but it's not a place like you... It's not like... Because...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

358.696

There were millions of black neighborhoods that built values.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

371.406

It was unfair. You were not good enough. It was unfair. And the residue of that continues today, and that is white privilege. All right. If you want to say it's white privilege because whites didn't have it as bad as blacks, fine. But that's not what's happening here in contemporary society. Yes, it is! No, it's not. If you, let me repeat this and I'll do it slowly. All right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

395.405

So even you can understand. All right, all right. If you work hard, if you get educated, if you're an honest person, you can make it in America.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

410.035

It's harder to get an education. Hey, it was harder for me than it was for the white guy in Garden City. It's all relative. Yes, it's harder if you're a ghetto kid. Yes. But can you do it? Yes.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

451.739

People acknowledge that who are fair-minded. But you don't then take that and then condemn the modern society.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

466.151

It's a factor. It's a factor. I'll give you the factor.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Conversations with Conservatives

90.436

OK, look, if there is white privilege, then there has to be Asian privilege. What? Because Asians make more money than whites. What? Ooh, you don't know any of this, huh?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

125.145

But this time, just as the virus is about to metastasize, a breakthrough. The FDA today approved swine flu vaccine. We're safe. Hail Zeus, the Greek god of timely pharmaceutical research. Back to your homes, people. Nothing to see here. The H1N1 vaccine will finally become available. Is it safe? We finally contain the swine flu outbreak. But can we contain the doubt break?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

182.346

What are you doing to us? Is this a deadly poison? Is the vaccine a deadly poison? And are we running out of it? Will you take the vaccine? Give it to your children. How much do you trust your government? I think that's the main question.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

219.994

I always thought the main question was, does the vaccine promote the growth of H1N1 antibodies that could help ward off infection? I think the virus is more interested in killing you than the government is. But I guess I'm just one of those pasteurized milk drinkers, you know. I'm sure the vaccine isn't perfect. Science certainly isn't perfect. But does everything have to be so stupid?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

245.356

O'Reilly, you've become Fox News' sane guy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

260.986

Really? You talked about your ass surgery on YouTube and now you're holding back on it? Now you've decided it's time to be a little bit more discreet and lay like... Come on back!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

286.218

He's right. On the for side, it protects against a potentially fatal disease, was found safe in clinical trials and can keep you from infecting those most vulnerable to the flu. Whereas on the against side, the government's out to get you, science is out to get you and oh, look behind you. We'll be right back. We move on now to the subject of health.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

313.417

And believe it or not, if you've been seeing long lines of elderly people standing outside in the cold lately, it is not all-you-can-eat-buffet-related. Rather, it was a product of the flu vaccine shortage fever gripping the nation.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

325.982

With serum in short supply, state and local health departments have been forced to allocate supplies only to priority patients like the elderly, healthcare workers and babies. In cases where there's still not enough vaccine to go around, babies in old people will ration the shots based on a best of three takedowns. You know what's interesting? That baby looks genuinely surprised.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

350.937

I don't understand what's happening. It's gotten so bad, at a children's medical center in Colorado, thieves stole 62 boxes of the vaccine, which this worker was not too happy about.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

368.456

I guess really, that's the difference between New York and Colorado. I live in New York. I once saw a guy get his prosthetic leg stolen while he was walking. Go, go, go. Tough town. The shortage arose. The shortage arose after one of the two companies that make the vaccine had to throw out its entire batch due to bacterial contamination. Hindsight is, of course, 20-20.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

399.352

But maybe we shouldn't have given the vaccine contract to Vincent Gallo's House of Vaccines. Now, I just feel it's not the cleanest place to manufacture vaccines. He is haunting. As the shortage threatened to become a campaign issue, Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson sought to preempt panic.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

447.21

Vice President Dick Cheney offered his own unique diagnosis for the vaccine crisis, or as he prefers to call it, flu-portunity. Campaigning in West Virginia, Cheney observed, quote, the problem we have run into, producing vaccine is not a very profitable business. That's a dead-end street.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

465.964

Next thing you know, you're building houses for seniors and all you got is a bunch of warm, dry old people with nothing to show for it. You know,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

487.981

If you watch this week's CNN Tea Party Amerigasm, you know that Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann scored some points in the debate on Republican frontrunner Governor Rick Perry concerning his state-mandated HPV vaccine order.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

53.134

Our chief medical correspondent got the virus during a recent trip to Afghanistan. Sanjay said it was the sickest he's ever been. You were quite sick as well. The cough was the worst cough I've ever had and it like even hurt my heart while I was coughing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

538.615

And now I am repeating that assertion unchecked, assuming there is a body of evidence to back this up. I'm sure there is, right? For more on the vaccine controversy, we're joined by Daily Show Senior Women's Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal. Kristen, thank you very much for joining us. What? How does the vaccine work? How does it?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

601.715

Let's skip ahead to after the hugging, the vaccine part.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

646.449

You know, it seems ironic. Michelle Bachmann came out against the vaccine for women, while Rick Perry, the man, was sort of standing for, I guess, women's health, fighting HPV.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

688.512

Is that your truck? Because you drive a truck with truck nuts on them?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

70.545

See, I did not have a fever.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

700.338

I understand. But isn't Bachmann saying the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation? Experts have pretty well debunked it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

707.564

What was that? No, no, no.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

72.647

I had explosive diarrhea. How about you? I'm telling you, my underwear looked like the mud flaps on a swamp buggy. Back to you, Anderson. But of course, the main symptom as always, fear.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

732.661

Nein, das ist schrecklich. Das sind ihre Augen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

741.384

Ich bin nicht sicher, ob das die Augen sind. Sie sahen aus, als wären sie vor der Kamera. Ich bin nicht sicher, ob das sie sind.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

783.406

Because they'll be more likely to get cervical cancer?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Vaccines

808.626

Did you just turn a big mouth Billy Bass into a singing vagina?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

106.844

And terrible parts.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

111.188

And this is, I have, they, a lot of times when a movie is coming out, they'll send me a little something like a Nerf ball with the name of the movie on it. Your people sent me a dead guinea worm. I bet it's dead, yeah. Can we get that over here? This is what it looks like. It looks like that is the thing that comes out of people's, oftentimes their feet, yes? Their feet or their toes? Feet, toes.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1337.182

You know what I would do for Delaware as a reward for that? Buy the entire state indoor carpeting. Because here's the thing.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

134.15

The first time I saw it, one was coming out of a nipple of a woman's breast. Unbelievable. And just terribly, terribly painful. Now, in 1986... When you begin this program, how many cases of guinea worm are occurring throughout? Where did it mostly have, Asia, Africa?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1347.589

So that's what that is, that soft, cushy feeling. When you're deciding to do something like that, do you have to go out and immediately hire the whole coterie of consultants? Is that the thing? And do they immediately tell you, the essence of you that has made you a popular politician? Lose that. Is that the advice that they give?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1367.337

Because doesn't it strike you that Hillary Clinton is now, they're saying to her, let me suck you dry of any rough edges so that you can be palatable like cottage cheese.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1404.079

Destroy people if they had to. Destroy people. Come on. who would make phone calls to other people.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1412.344

Does it give you pause that, for being in the Senate, it seems so frustrating because the Democrats right now are reduced to, I'm going to hold my breath until you stop bringing up these names. Do you know what I mean? Does that make you... give you pause in terms of getting into the national arena?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1452.094

Nicely done, sir. You may end up going against a Senate colleague, perhaps McCain, perhaps Frist.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1485.427

Boy, I would love to see politics be shaken up in a way that just completely blew out the ramparts of partisanship. That would be a wonderful situation. That's what we like to see. Whether it be any Democrat or Republican, I like the pairing. Thank you for coming by. I know you're on recess.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

1503.593

I'm excited. Go have yourself a nap and a little sippy cup and be on your way. Senator Joe Biden. Thank you so much for coming by. Appreciate it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

165.693

3.5 million cases. That's what we found. This year, now we are 1986 to now, is not going to do them.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

188.852

But here's the crazy part. So here's the thing. So we always think about, well, these types of scourges that hit these areas, and we have to develop the right medicine and the drug, or we have to create some sort of program. How was this solved?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

235.126

All of this was education. You went there, and they showed... Now, were they resistant to that type of... Yeah, some of them were. It's changing thousands of years of how they were doing this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

282.047

Unbelievable. And this is just with the gauzes. Now, today... Do they now create the gauze themselves? You've got to keep going through there.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

298.973

And that's the thing that you have to get to.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

305.549

So you've eradicated, I mean, do you, now you got, you got, you know, Bill Gates is out there with malaria. Do you ever, you see him, you rib him a little bit? You'd be like, hey man, how's it going with malaria? Well, we work on malaria too. Because I've been kicking guinea worms butt for about 25 years now.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

322.445

Oh, that's what I meant. I meant they're very good people. Yeah, they're really good people. That's what I'm doing. I'm really one of Bill Gates' greatest admirers. When you go in there and you've earned their trust, are there other things that you want to accomplish in these villages?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

346.492

Oftentimes, diseases of sanitation, diseases of simple 21st century, 20th century hygiene.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

437.417

You never know what will happen.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

503.484

My guest tonight, the 42nd president of the United States. His annual Clinton Global Initiative meeting now in its 10th year kicks off this Sunday, September 21st. Welcome back to the program, President Bill Clinton.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

536.212

I'll tell you this, and I'm going to say this, and it's nice you were here to witness it. I live this every day. Just the ovations. You're good, too. But thank you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

569.532

We just can't help ourselves. Exactly. 10 years of Clinton Global Initiative. So you have this thing all planned out. You've got these tremendous speakers, all your things in order. Something like this Ebola epidemic jumps up. It probably represents the confluence of all the various things that you can do at Clinton Global Initiative. How agile can you be when something like that arises?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

593.666

Can you address it even at this year's conference?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

62.589

Nice to see you. So here you are. Here's what I didn't realize. Okay, so you have this thing that you start in 1986. Right. Carter Center goes and they say, this guinea worm is a problem. Explain very quickly what it is, because I can't do it justice.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

667.08

Right. Is the idea to, since you have people on the ground, you know, if organizations that are not as familiar with the local and provincial authorities down there, you know, one of the big issues is trust. The local communities are very frightened by this, justifiably so. They should be. And they may not necessarily trust outsiders that come in, the United States coming in.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

689.37

How is it that can your organization build through those more local authorities and build the trust you're going to need?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

776.183

How old is that, 20 years?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | President's Day

789.706

Right, right, right. Unbelievable. Well, it's nice to see that the infrastructure paying off in the future. When we come back, we're going to figure out how to fix the other parts of the world that are broken.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

260.104

What about my guest tonight? He was the 39th president of these United States. His new book is called A Remarkable Mother. Please welcome back to the show President Jimmy Carter.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

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How you doing? It's very nice to see you, sir. You look great. The book is called A Remarkable Mother. I want to thank you, Mr. President. I, for Mother's Day, was going to get my mother maybe a card, maybe some flowers. Thank you for making my gesture look incredibly pitiful. You've written an entire book in homage to your mom.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

317.742

You did it as an added bonus gift for mothers. Exactly. Yeah. You should, you know, Jewish mothers basically will see this and go, oh, look, Jimmy Carter wrote a book for his mother. How interesting. You didn't write a book and didn't even have time to call. How interesting. What do you feel like is the remark?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

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Because I think everybody feels to some extent their mother is remarkable, their parents are remarkable. In your mind, what sets her apart?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

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No, she didn't.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

431.573

A great anecdote about somebody asked her, they said, are you proud of...

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TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

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As you watch the candidates now going through, could you have become president in this media climate?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

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While the other candidate... Then maybe you could have become president.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

536.593

Oh, really?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

549.763

Well, maybe, see, maybe Baptist and Jewish are not that different after all.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

102.443

A tattooed version of the Barbie doll called Butterfly Art Barbie has come under fire from parents, prompting Mattel to stop production. The toy giant finally agreed the tattoo spoils the natural purity of Barbie's non-existent mons and 48DD knockers. Mattel says... Mattel says it only included the tattoo at the last minute to cover Barbie's teen C-section scar.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

133.817

Though butterfly art Barbie is selling well, Mattel has also pushed back the release of iron butterfly art Barbie, which comes in the back of a crumpled van at the bottom of the Malibu Dream Canyon.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

146.226

The dolls are part of the Generation Girl series of Barbies, which, according to a Mattel spokesman, are cool teenagers who go to an international high school in New York City, which of course means they will all date Nairobi Ken just to annoy their parents.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

426.065

Arabs get their own Barbie doll. Dreamhouse faces Mecca. If you happen to be in a Kmart in Cairo next year, be sure to look for Layla, an Arab version of the Barbie doll, who will be dressed in modest head-to-toe Islamic attire. A spokesman said that Layla will admire American Barbie for her strength and worldwide dominance, while Barbie will only hang out with Layla for the oil.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

450.138

Manufacturers insist the dolls are safe, but children clearly state in the warranty that all defects will be blamed on Israel. The Layla doll will be only 10 or 12 years old, still in little girls underclothes and too young for a boyfriend, which is important as she's already been betrothed to 68-year-old spice trader Ken Al-Ghabibi. Huh. Taiwanese man marries actual Barbie doll.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

47.659

Yes, that's exactly right, Brandi, because class is all about telling people you're classy. Tell me more about this fabulous woman. You are the best. Happy anniversary. That was Barbie's role model, Dick Clark, who's also made entirely out of age-retardant space-age polymers. Oh, is that a microphone?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

478.891

Promises to have and to hold until death or errant space heater placement do they part. Believing it would appease the restless spirit of his dead wife, a Taiwanese man, Shang Shi Shum, married a real plastic and in no way living Barbie doll last Sunday. Religious scholars say according to the tenets of Buddhism, in this life, Chang has been reincarnated as an idiot.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

505.395

The happy couple enjoyed a lengthy ceremony surrounded by relatives and embarrassed loved ones. many of whom were also present when the groom met his current bride at the factory where he made her. After the wedding, the happy couple drove off to the reception where they will dance as the wedding band plays the standard, I knew the bride when she used to be a lump of unmolded petroleum.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

534.694

The 46 year old groom had been hoping to remarry ever since his first wife's death over 20 years ago. But Chang never met the right woman until Mattel released the embodiment of my first wife, Barbie.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

73.373

And though Rosie had only a few Barbies, every morning they were forced to sit on the couch and laugh at her jokes for a whole hour. According to Mattel, somewhere in the world, a Barbie doll is sold every two seconds. And every five seconds, a little girl starts to hate the way she looks. Tattooed Barbie outrages parents. Barbie exclaims, I was drunk.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie

9.712

Belly up to the Barbie. Some of Hollywood's biggest stars turned out to honor a hunk of molded petroleum as Barbie turned 40, making her too old to play the girlfriend and too young to play the mother. Here's Brandi singing the Barbie marching song, Be Anything, with a chorus of future divorcees. She looks just like Moesha. And here's Brandi talking.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

100.857

He's still agonizing over a quarter-century-old baseball loss. Total failure of US intelligence? Eh, it happens. We'll look into it. It's eh. But the Astros and the Phillies? Ooh. Still. All right, time for the game. But first, Toby Keith, whose performance gave producers an opportunity to show off their cool new Matrix cameras.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

128.79

Perfect for those moments when you think, I must see the other side of Toby Keith immediately. Make it so. But enough talk, game time. But first, Aerosmith, who got things rolling with a rowdy, down and dirty rock and roll tribute to the space shuttle, Columbia, and its astronauts who lost their lives. Aerosmith. Actually, I did do a sort of a deep version of their Dream On song.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

166.218

And in a sign of things to come, the number ended when Steven Tyler accidentally tore off rhythm guitarist Brad Whitford's denim ass panels. Now, the... Is that a real... I don't know. I don't know if that's real. I know. For a band that old, that's a good-looking ass panel. I got to say. All right. Now the big game. We came to play. It's time to... Ah, I forgot the national anthem. Here we go.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

194.103

Performed by Beyonce. I'm sorry.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

219.622

I'm sorry, I just... I don't think I was ready for that jelly. I just don't think I was... All right, all kidding aside, let's go to the halftime show. Which, aside from the commercials, is always the most anticipated part of the Super Bowl. This year's MTV-produced extravaganza began when Janet Jackson, more on her later, came out and lip-synced an old song of hers.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

238.997

Followed by, of course, P. Diddy, who rushed to attend the event after apparently completing the Iditarod. The cavalcade of stars continued with our good friend Nelly, whose penis unfortunately picked an opportune time to begin itching. And then Kid Rock, who honored America by turning its flag into a poncho. Kid then sang that cowboy song he always sings, but with specific lyrics. Indeed.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

275.16

Kid Rock, half bowl, super time. That is right. And in 10 years, you can look forward to those lyrics being, Kid Rock, bar mitzvah, Jason Cohen. That's right. I'm here. I'm doing it. Oh. Poor Nelly and his itchy penis. It must really itch. We should use talc. Sadly, what happened next turned what had been a dignified highbrow affair into a shameless display of sexual exploitation.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

31.311

You're listening to Comedy Central. February 2, 2004. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

312.249

Janet Jackson took the stage again, surrounding herself with players from that dangerous of sports gay rollerball. The star was then joined by Justin Timberlake, who, in a premeditated display of spontaneity, accidentally tore off Jackson's bustier, revealing her right breast to the world. Shocking.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

333.539

And yet, oddly reminiscent of the 1971 halftime show when Carol Channing entertained fans by putting them on the glass. Well, hello, boobies. CBS immediately apologized for the nudity. And Timberlake himself apologized for what he dubbed, quote, a wardrobe malfunction. A wardrobe malfunction? It was, in fact, a wardrobe malfunction. Justin was actually supposed to get both breasts out.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

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Apparently, he skipped rehearsals for the left one. Now, the Jackson incident, or teet-gate, prompted... Immediate expressions of outrage. CBS distanced themselves. The FCC is going to investigate. And today, NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue released this statement, reading in part, quote, We were extremely disappointed by the MTV-produced halftime show.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

401.431

The show was offensive, inappropriate, and embarrassing to us and our fans. Clearly, the NFL wants no part of this kind of tawdry display. The NFL promotes good, clean, concussive, vertebrate snapping fun for the whole family. There is no room in that for even a millisecond of partially obscured bosom.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

424.294

Now... But you have to think, is there something more sinister at work here behind the NFL's outrage at Jackson's sexy display? Think about it. Which product is an official sponsor of the NFL? Come rain or snow or whatever, we play. Baseball? Take it to the future challenge like I do.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

454.988

You see the problem? The NFL is sponsored by an erectile dysfunction drug. For Janet Jackson to give older men an erection during the halftime show, that's copyright infringement. She is not supposed to jiggle her boob without the express written consent of the National Football League. Offer not valid in Tennessee.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

476.879

Anyway, to me, the real tragedy of the whole thing, the halftime show at the Super Bowl, is supposed to be about the music sucking. We'll be right back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

51.832

Let's get right to it. As America licks the last traces of Dorito dust from its fingers and Houston, Texas reverts back from center of the universe status to hole, we take a fond look back at the pageantry, spectacle, and erectile dysfunction that was Super Bowl 38. To the game! But first...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

562.028

February 4th, 2013. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

573.951

Let's begin the night with last night. The sporting event that encapsulates so well the entirety of what it means to be an American. An event that begins with an emotional salute to the victims of gun violence. Quickly gives way to a promotional salute to the glorifying upset gun violence. Yes, it is. Bang bang time. Didn't realize two broke girls had taken such a dark turn. All right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

599.538

We cheered as men committed brutal violence upon one another and then complained bitterly at the sight of two people kissing. And a multi-million dollar sound and light show was immediately followed by yet another sign that our basic infrastructure is on the verge of collapse. We, uh, that's from The Natural. We couldn't find a football movie where the lights were on.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

626.393

Last night was a big bowl of super. Anybody out there with red blood coursing through their veins? Watch the Baltimore Ravens squeezed by the San Francisco 49ers 34-31, all while eating food designed to stop the red blood from coursing through their veins. Mmm, nacho cheese body shots. Don't mind if I...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

648.797

Though anybody can throw the game on and pretend to be a real American and watch it, I make sure to take it up a notch, and I skeet shoot while I watch. Skeet shoot all the time, man. When I'm watching TV, I skeet shoot. I skeet shoot inside, outside. And that's not Photoshop. There's no way to Photoshop a skeet shoot picture.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

672.819

As with any great American conflict, this game pit brother against brother, each wondering who would finally win the game and with it, the long lost love of their parents. But by halftime with the score at 21 to six, it appeared the game was all but over. And that's when she walked in. Beyond amazing vocals, breathtaking choreography, and of course, whatever this was.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

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She even let two lucky contest winners join her on stage. You didn't like that one, huh? Actually, it was very nice to see Destiny's Child back together again, or as George Stephanopoulos calls them, the Pointer Sisters. It was Morgan Freeman, I think. Never gets old. But you know, after Beyoncé's performance, If you liked it, you should have put a fuse on it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

731.903

Because just as Baltimore's Jacoby Jones seemingly put the game out of reach for Baltimore with a 108-yard touchdown kill over turn, skedunk!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

749.101

Oh, right, an abnormality.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

76.528

But first to the pregame, which began sometime Friday morning and by yesterday had gotten so dull, CBS's Jim Nance was forced to fill network airtime talking to this guy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

760.669

Why did you do yasasa? How many football players must suffer for these evil schemes? But wins and losses, blackouts and performances aside, the real contest took place amongst America's foremost products who competed for the opportunity to be buzzed about with an estimated global audience of everybody. The Super Bowl is the company's best chance to get its message across to America. Messages like,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

789.87

Our candy feels pain when you eat it. And our chips are so good, even a goat will eat them. Interestingly though, that ad wasn't the one that wound up being the most talked about. Oh, really? That ad was controversial? Oh, because he was kissing a Jew? Is that why? Oh, it's so disgusting to kiss a Jew? Is that it? Because she's so disgustingly... What's that?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

824.047

I'm being told that that's not why people were upset. The source was apparently America's belief that affection should only take place between looks equals. He's not attractive enough to kiss... Ah! By the way, how was this... objectionable, but everybody was perfectly fine with the ad about the guy who was clearly his horse. I'm not saying I blame him. That's a fine looking class.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

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Anyway, in the end, the Ravens prevailed. The game was the swan song for 17-year veteran linebacker Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis, I'm sorry. Seen here portrayed as a very angry badger. He's an inspirational figure to his teammates, but Lewis' story is complicated by some personal troubles. Just a little matter of, I'll let Boomer Esiason explain.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

899.761

Little double murderers, Newt Rockne used to call them, the old double murderoo. But in the pregame interview, Ray Lewis offered up a novel defense for his actions. What would you like to say to the families?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

935.098

Wow, must be quite the comfort to the families of those murder victims. The news that God makes sure everybody gets what they deserve. Still, that's the case. Criminal trials should go a lot faster. Your Honor, what evidence do you believe? The victim's blood being found in my client's limousine or my client going to 13 Pro Bowls? I mean, 13. Would God allow a murderer to go to 13 Pro Bowls?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

967.027

I rest my faith. Yes, it seemed by the end of this long and complicated day that our senses had been beaten into submission and numbed by excess. Just as I began to question this annual ritual of violence and consumerism, Well, I saw this one final commercial.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Great Moments in Super Bowling

996.156

And I realized after seeing that that I actually love the Super Bowl. Guys getting hit really hard, hot girls kissing ugly dudes, hot dudes kissing hot horses, beer, trucks, chips. I found my answer, Scientology, and it was inside my refrigerator. The whole time we'll be right back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

118.479

In Pennsylvania, thousands of spectators waited all night in the rain to see the world's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil. Phil did not see his shadow this year, but as usual, did set eyes on a whole bunch of people dumb enough to stand in the rain all night to watch a soggy rodent get pulled out of the dirt.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

135.632

In Nebraska, Unadillo the groundhog did see his shadow this morning, forecasting six more weeks of brutal winter weather, which is bad news for Midwesterners who look forward to an early spring so they can get a jump on the hot, muggy summers that bring tornadoes and flooding. Not yet.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

158.905

And because they can't go a single day without making children cry, PETA spokesman Dan Matthews objected to the treatment of the groundhogs, saying, quote, this poor creature is dragged into the daylight with people screaming at him. You only have to look into his eyes to see how bewildered he is.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

176.614

Matthews reportedly then added, much like I am, every time I'm told to stop alienating people at parties with my freakish obsession with animals. Matthews went on to say, quote, these animals haven't volunteered their services and should be left in peace. True.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

193.463

But Dan was unable to then explain how an animal who genuinely wanted to would go about volunteering for a yearly experiment to predict the weather. And that was our continuing coverage of Groundhog Day 99.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

263.702

As you know, today is Groundhog's Day, which means we get to find out how much longer this brutal winter will last. We're going to quickly take a look at the photo of Puxatawney Phil to see if he saw his shadow. And, oh, that's not good. Guess that means six more years of winter, and we're gonna need to do Groundhog.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

364.502

Let me tell you something about Shepard Smith. The guy knows how to deliver a line. I forgot, we're actually still using groundhog-based technology to predict our weather. And obviously, Groundhog Zero is Puxatawney, Pennsylvania, where the Doppler 3000 of rodents was greeted by cheering throngs and gobbler knobs best Zac Brown cover band. You know, I kind of feel like that guy in the audience.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

386.506

Hey, I'm freezing my balls off. Just get to the f***ing groundhog.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

392.284

Yes, a shadow I see. Oh, did the groundhog see his shadow? Could mean there's gonna be six more weeks of winter, or that you'll pretty much always see your shadow when you have the place lit up like the set of Transformers. Those are Klieg lights. Anybody would see their shadow in Klieg lights. You know what? That's fine. It's a cherished tradition. There's more winter.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

416.984

The groundhog saw his shadow. What are you going to do?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

426.73

Well, I guess we'll have to teach the controversy. Or some groundhogs are lying. Why would groundhogs lie? What do they have against us?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

452.98

Did you hear that? They said him dropping the groundhog may or may not have contributed to the groundhog's death a week later. May or may have not. He dropped a groundhog off Mount de Blasio. It's right there on the video. Can we get a grand jury? Staten Island. God! The point is, after years, after years of this treatment, some sort of uprising is just a matter of when.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

502.941

You know, that's what you get for keeping grub worms in your ear.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

545.525

For more on this story, we go to our own senior meteorologist, Jordan Klepper. He's been monitoring the forecast with Westchester Wally. Jordan, thanks for joining us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

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Are you okay? It looks like, was Wally mad at being dragged out of his hole this morning?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

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Glad to hear it, Jordan. Maybe next year he won't give you as much trouble.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

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You're in a lot of trouble, Jordan. We'll be right back. Thank you, Shannon.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Groundhog Day

91.226

And now for our continuing coverage of Groundhog Day 99. Yee-haw. The rodent less taken. Today was Groundhog Day and weathermen across the country took a break from using state-of-the-art Doppler radar to get their forecasts wrong and instead turned to a rabid marmot that eats its own stool.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

1024.87

That is kind of weird. That's weird. But it's always, you find in these leagues, the owner is typically white. The athletes, typically African-American, the athletes who are African-American had to fight to be allowed to play. And even now, still have to fight for rights. This idea that, okay, you know, you're allowed to leave after seven years, but you have to put in this amount of time.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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Do you think this is, could be a turning point in that relationship?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

1073.128

As a player, how do you handle that? You know, these guys are in the midst of a playoff run. Yeah. Now, you played in New York. There was a tremendous amount of distraction, a tremendous amount of media. They're the same in Los Angeles. Is it even possible for an athlete at that high level to still compete with this type of emotion under the surface?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

1131.032

Do you see what I mean about you having the maturity? Look at me. I'm ready to fly off the handle. Just walk away from the game and you brought me back. Here's what I think should happen. Yes. Okay. The Clippers rally around this. Uh-huh. They play unbelievable basketball for the next month. They win the NBA championship. And in the locker room, in the jubilation, the trophy is handed to them.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

1154.899

Donald Sterling is right there. And they get the tallest guy. Let's go with Blake Griffith. He's about 6'11". And he just holds the trophy up like this. And Donald Sterling... Can't get it. And done. They don't let him have it. Are you still able to get together with some of the fellas and reminisce about it? You know, tragically, Gary Carter, of course, passed away. Great character guy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

118.126

It turns out, yeah, it turns out the New York Post cameras can take a picture of my soul. But it's not over yet. Apparently, everybody thinks it's over, but if we can just get the Earth to reverse rotation, this thing can be played again. So there you go, New York Mets. Motherfuckers. First, before we get into anything, I have a question for you. You ever been fired? I've been fired.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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Are you able to get together and still sort of revert back to form from the 80s and have a great time together? We don't want to go back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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That's what reminiscing is all about. That's what it's all about. And who would have thought that that would be the last championship the Mets ever won? Well, it's an absolute pleasure to see you and to have you here on the show. Get yourself Mookie, one of the greats. Mookie Wilson, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

150.778

I've been fired a lot. I've been fired. I've been fired from bakeries that I worked at. I've been fired from women's clothing stores. I was once fired by my brother. My brother fired me from a horse. But one thing that's never... I was fired by Stripagram once. One thing that's never happened to me is that I've been fired at 3 o'clock in the morning... 3,000 miles away from where I live.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

178.02

Willie Randolph, the New York Mets manager, my beloved Mets. This guy, okay, the Mets suck, fine. But they could have fired Willie Randolph at any point over the last year. So what they do is they wait before he takes a trip to Los Angeles. They fly him all the way out to Los Angeles. He wins the game, and then they fire him that night at 3 o'clock in the morning.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

207.718

When you get a call at 3 o'clock in the morning, that's for sex. That's not for being fired. He did not deserve that. It is classless. Here's how bad it is. This is the New York Post. Tiger Woods. They didn't even have time to put Willie Randolph being fired. Classless. I mean, maybe they flew him out to Los Angeles because they thought, well, we're going to fire him.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

229.083

He should at least get his frequent flyer miles. I don't know. Bastardos. And this is the worst part. We have a tape. of the call of him being fired. You cannot believe who they got to fire him.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

265.02

Not right! Willie didn't deserve this. World Series is Wednesday night. Tampa Bay Rays facing the Phillies in the World Series starting Wednesday night. Both these teams, and this is the key part, from crucial swing states. This is going to put the candidates in a bit of a pickle. Tampa Bay, of course, from Florida, and the Philadelphia Phillies are from...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

296.229

the festering sore on the end of my taint. I don't think that's right. Who wrote this? Mr. Met! Damn you! Obviously very upset that the Mets did not get into the World Series. Now, obviously, the candidates don't want to anger people by taking sides in this World Series. What would be the best way to navigate these treacherous waters?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

352.316

Et tu, Messiah? The local sports franchise pander? Come on, man! You've got to do better than that. You know something? I smell a Mac attack.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

386.073

No offense there, Senator McCain, but once you said a guy's a terrorist, you call him a fair-weather fan, it doesn't really hurt.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

412.361

Nailed it! Nailed it! You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to sneak a sports flip-flop past the McCain-Palin team.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

449.504

Team Panda! She's done it! The triple! The triple crown! Been over one year since Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed SB 1070, a controversial anti-immigration bill that some call tantamount to racial profiling, into law with some unintended consequences.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

484.943

That's the only way in this country that we decide who gets home field advantage in the World Series. Unless someone, you know, flips a quarter. Anyway, for more on the impact of SB 1070 on the All-Star game, we go to Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona, with senior Latino correspondent Al Madrigal. Al.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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Alex, you're supposed to be covering the protests about the law in Arizona, not enjoying the game. I thought the Latino community was furious about this.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

538.573

Alex, so are there protests? Are you covering the protests? Sure.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

586.679

So Latinos love baseball and dog whispering so much, they'll look past any injustice done to them.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

613.021

That is incredible. Hold on a second.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

619.565

So Adrian Gonzalez is doing well and he doesn't want to miss the game? Is that it? What's your excuse?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

63.741

I don't know what you did this weekend. I hope you had a nice time. What did I do this weekend? I went out, took the kids out to the park for a little bit and had a nice dinner with my wife. We had a lovely time. And then on Sunday, I had my, what was it, my heart taken out of my chest and then eaten in front of me.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

632.5

I'm talking about how you called the vendor for a beer and then... And then just apparently took it from some f***ing guy that was standing over there. Anyway. I didn't realize.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

651.075

Last year, Al, you were... Last year... Last year... Wait. This is really important. Last year, you were really angry about this issue. Roll the tape.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

686.676

All right, thank you, Al.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

697.104

So, Al, there's going to be zero acknowledgement of SB 1070 at tonight's All-Star game?

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

884.511

An honor to see you here. All right, great. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. This is really the last time in many years that I can actually say that to a New York Mets fan. It's been rough times, huh? It's been some rough times. This really was, you know, you write about 86. There is something truly indelible about a championship season. that makes it worthy of remembrance.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Baseball

89.795

My beloved New York Mets, after I went through the trouble all day Saturday of teaching a three-year-old the Meet the Mets song. Meet the Mets. Meet the Mets. Is that good, Daddy? Is it good? Love me? I want the third stanza done with heart, boy, with heart! The Mets lost in a historic collapse. I don't know if you saw this picture on the cover of the Post.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

911.973

What was it about the 86 team when you guys won the World Series? Besides the dramatic fashion, you wanted it.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

925.362

More of that? Yes. But you were, you know, the 86 team had Doc Gooden, Darryl Strawberry, Keith Hernandez, Gary Carter. But you were a beacon of maturity Oh, that's good. Don't you think? You were the one guy everybody loved and nobody ever worried about. You always thought Keith Hernandez, at some point, 6 in the morning, somebody's going to be like, where's Keith?

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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Mookie Wilson never had that issue.

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TDS Time Machine | Baseball

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no kept it all together and that chemistry yes and it brings up an issue so everybody is talking about this donald sterling this relationship between a racist owner sports really is an unusually almost paternal situation with the owner they can ship you out to another city do the players feel that relationship

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

116.097

Even more shocking, 10% of female spring breakers had public or group sex that they later regretted. Which means 90% had public or group sex that, in hindsight, they were really glad they did. Ooh.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

145.764

Psychologist Robin Goodman told CBS The Early Show debauchery is a major issue.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

164.349

How dangerous a problem is it? Well, to put it in perspective, this is the story that it came right in front of. Danny Lesko and Robin Goodman, thank you very much.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

196.383

Switching gears to travel, you know, at this time of year, many young people have a particular tourist destination on their minds. Tonight, Dan Bacodal heads south to join in the fun.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

446.894

Dan Bacadal, we'll be right back.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

462.23

The world around us... Let's be honest, we've got some of our own problems right here in America.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

484.06

America's oldest hall monitor, Sean Hannity... dedicated not one, not two, but five different shows on the horrors of spring break, including the entire hour on Friday, featuring a panel of outrage experts there to expose this annual event You will believe what they found because you know.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

538.243

Shortly after filming that piece, that young woman blew out her left butt cheek. Doctors say she may never twerk again. Perhaps she'll have to file for Twerkman's comp. So you did a week of shows on this. What wisdom did the panel impart? My daughter, there's no way in hell she's going there. Well, that makes sense. I assume the same goes for your sons.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

578.272

But with my sons, I hope they have a great time.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

585.658

Okay, let's just all agree that that is sexist. And just move on to the more pressing issue here. A hundred bucks? He's going to spring break, not Dave and Buster's. Look, you're gonna get a call three hours into spring break. Hey, thanks for the hundred bucks. It got me to Delaware. Now I'm just sitting here blowing truckers trying to get down to Tampa.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

618.78

I don't know what I'm going to have to do to get home. Tell mom I love her. Now, some of the more skeptical viewers might think this is less of a news story and more of a reason to spend a week running wildly inappropriate TNA footage alongside pundits tisking said footage. But you'd only be 99.9% right. You see, this is also an in-depth cautionary tale about what can happen when children

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

63.69

Folks, it's spring break time. I know many of our college-age viewers are watching us right now from the vomit-strewn comfort of a day's inn in Panama City. But I want to let you know out there, there are dangers lurking in the seemingly innocent world of underage bacchanalia.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

649.269

aren't properly raised.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

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What kind of rotten, neglectful parents would allow their kids to even go on spring break?

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

696.789

Right? Oh, you do. So, what kind of parents let their kids go to Spring Break? Oh, right. Your parents. So you just don't want kids today doing... You clearly don't want kids today doing the terrible things you have such fond memories of doing. And I guess if they are going to do it, there is one thing you would like them to know.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

745.834

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bend your knees a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, show them how terrible it is. Honestly, it's the weirdest week of TV I've ever seen. But perhaps, as always, the best advice on staying safe came from Fox News liberal Robert Beckel.

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TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

779.858

So remember kids, stay in school, get better parents, and don't go to spring break. But if you do, bring your cocaine from home. I can't stress this enough. When you go on spring break, Bring the cocaine you use at home, the cocaine you trust. And that's the more you do blow.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Spring Break

84.648

A new study by the American Medical Association reports 40% of female spring breakers passed out, half got sick, and 13% had sex with more than one partner. But only after a gang of crafty nerds rewired the sign at the Hotel Coral Essex. Nerds! Nerds! Even though you shout nerds, they keep with their tomfoolery.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

122.125

I can't. This is shocking. It seems the floor has really gotten caught up in the spirit of this IPO.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

1419.732

All right, everybody, that is our show. Here it is, your moment of zen. Officials in India want to set the record straight.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

1442.496

WWE superstar and poster boy for the authority, Seth Rollins?

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

1459.165

Mind your manners. You know, I've got a little wrestling in my background as well. I've got a little wrestling. I'll put you in a half, Nelson. Maybe a little jibbity-jab. A little jibbity-jab is a thing. Maybe a little flick-flack. A little flip-flack. Behind the... He's right behind me, isn't he? Is he right behind me?

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

1482.401

Let me just say this. A little beard conditioner would go a long way towards May. And let me tell you this, Rollins. I will bring it. Although, unfortunately, I don't have it with me right now. So I will perhaps look for it and meet you somewhere at a later date like a gentleman.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

1518.035

I have more than the... Oh, Jesus. I think I just pulled something when I turned on there. But I do have the guts. And I... Oh, you're taller than I thought on that. On the television, it looks like he's... All right. Well, Seth Rollins, everybody. We'll be back next week. Unless I get crushed on the...

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

169.709

Stephen Colbert on the floor of the Wall Street trading firm. Some of you may have watched the program last night. You know that Barack Obama was our guest on the program. He was not actually here in the studio. The good news, of course, hope can be transmitted via satellite. Now... just flies through the air.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

190.951

We've actually had now all the presidential candidates on our show, the three that are remaining, and I would like to think that appearing on this program is as low as they're going to go to pander for votes. I would like to think that we truly are the bottom of their barrel, or even not even that, just whatever it is that grows under the bottom of barrels, that would be us.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

215.27

That would be my hope for them, for our country. But last night, I go home after the show, as I usually do on a Monday night, put my feet in some Epsom salts, light a cinnamon candle, and I turn on my WWE Raw, and I see this.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

23.43

Wall Street gets a kick in the NASDAQs. The World Wrestling Federation is going public on the New York Stock Exchange, hoping to body slam the market, pile drive its competitors, and put a sleeper hold on investors in a story that can only be described as full of dumb metaphors.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

243.548

Let's get ready to stumble!

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

284.56

No. Of course, Senator McCain, he's got the nomination sewn up. He's not going to have to pepper his message with embarrassing wrestling affectation.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

305.687

Generally, when McCainiacs run wild on me, I rub some Lotrimin on it. Why do the candidates humiliate themselves in cable backwaters like WWE Raw and The Daily Show? Because they're running for president. And the chance to humiliate themselves on a network. I'm thrilled to be on Deal or No Deal with you tonight.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

345.229

He's incredibly unpopular. For more, we turn to Daily Show senior political analyst Wyatt Cenac in Washington. Wyatt, you know, I'm about done. I got to tell you. As you scroll down through all these scandals, it's hard to imagine that any of these people believe in anything. Their ethics are purely situational, or perhaps they're brain damaged and have no short-term memories. I don't know.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

386.051

You're telling me that their interest is in conflict, not in resolution.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

40.82

To welcome the WWF to the big board, today's trading session ended with Stone Cold Steve Austin slamming Alan Greenspan's head into the closing bell. Now, Daily Show chief financial correspondent Stephen Colbert has been following this story very closely. We go now live to Wall Street for a report. Stephen. John. What's the advance word on the trading floor for the wrestling public offering?

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

417.041

I get it. They have to keep the conflict going. But at least in wrestling, we know the good guys and the bad guys. Shawn Michaels is a good guy. Undertaker is a bad guy.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

430.591

You're saying that congressional leaders flip on issues to keep conflict going and keep the money flowing, keep their bases interested.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

448.034

So you're saying, like, Harry Reid's flip-flop on whether he would like to amend the filibuster is just a pro-wrestling move? That's nuts. That's nuts, Wyatt.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

464.485

What?

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

526.099

It's a very persuasive argument. Very persuasive, patriotic argument for the filibuster.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

600.336

I can leave my hair to this. So both sides can take a position, but isn't that what the news media is for? To provide context, break through the posturing, and create a little clarity?

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

622.706

So what you're saying is the whole thing is fake. The whole thing is fake, like professional wrestling. Is that what you're saying? What did you say, John? I said it's all fake.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

633.767

I thought you guys were in Washington.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

658.829

Since 100% fiber internet makes any home upgrade possible, I can finally live my dream of having my own smart office.

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TDS Time Machine | Wrestlemania

96.755

Has this wrestling IPO really changed the mood down there on the floor?

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

101.26

What's up, scientists? Global wobbling, bitches! He sees your so-called global warming and raises you a global wobbling. Explain that, Dr. Whitehouse.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

14.558

Now, you may be thinking, do we really need a march to raise awareness about global climate change? I mean, it's an accepted scientific phenomenon pretty much everywhere. Here's why you need the march. It's accepted pretty much everywhere, but there's one place called the United States House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology. This is true.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

140.247

All right, Holdren, you aced the wobble warming. Riddle me this.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

155.753

Boom! How can CO2 levels be dangerous when I can still breathe?

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

169.378

Much in the way one enjoys playing peek-a-boo with a baby or perhaps teasing a cat with a laser pointer.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

201.422

And it got more amazing as it went. Indiana's Larry Bouchon.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

230.923

With all due respect, Representative Bouchon, I suggest you get the Journal of Applied Meteorology and Climatology as opposed to the YouTube comment feed of Obama Lies 1776. But here's where Bouchon gives away the game.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

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I do not believe the scientists because it is their profession, not their hobby. Well, since we're talking about the influence money might have on climate change opinion, it turns out Representative Bouchon's three biggest campaign donors are Murray Energy, Koch Enterprises, and Peabody Energy.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

280.332

And trust me, trust me, those three well-funded companies would love to disprove climate change to the satisfaction of the scientific community at large. So if scientists could be bought, these motherf***ers would have already made it rain in nerd town. Trust me. And again, I cannot stress this enough. This is the House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

322.16

Are you f***ing kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? I don't even know... I don't even know what to do with that. How far back to the elementary school core curriculum do we have to go to get someone on the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology caught up? Do we have to break out the paper mache and the baking soda so you can make a volcano? Is that what we have to do?

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

352.051

Is that how basic the science class was when you went? Nah, I don't need to know this anymore. I mean, for God's sakes. Look, here, look, here, here, here, look, look. Here's a glass of ice water. Hey, that ice isn't making the water overflow because it's already in the water. But imagine there's a whole bunch of other ice that's not in the water. It's on the land.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

373.298

You know, the part where the water isn't. And then when temperatures rise and the land ice melts enough to fall, it's everywhere. It's everywhere.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

400.571

Wait a minute. Global warming giant towels. Ultimately, the whole incredible and by all appearances willful misunderstanding of how the scientific method has been applied to climate change models and the effects of warming can be, pardon the pun, boiled down to this exchange.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

41.652

Last week, they held a hearing that they apparently recorded in 1971... I guess that's the technology part of the committee name. On President Obama's plan to shrink carbon emissions 30% by 2030, the hearing's Sisyphus, Presidential Science Advisor John Holdren charged with the impossible task of pushing a million pounds of idiot up a mountain.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

444.738

First of all, there aren't both sides to a discussion. But he's basically saying it is unfair to talk to us about the scientific or medical consequences of our actions because they're scary. And we really don't feel like doing anything about it anyway. So from now on, why not agree that science and the oil industry both have opinions?

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

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Oh, and before you tell your kids to wash their hands after they take so they don't spread disease, maybe we should also spend an equal amount of time hearing from Big Fecal. We'll be right back.

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TDS Time Machine | The War on Climate Change

62.662

Of course, like any avalanche, it began rather innocuously. Texas Republican Steve Stockman.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

1000.757

As a seasoned observer of these kinds of trials, you know what he could have done to make things a little easier for himself? Put down the billboards and walk across the street to the actual courthouse, you jiggies! For more on the trial and the way it was covered, we go to Daily Show's senior correspondent, Stephen Colbert, live outside the courthouse here in New York. Stephen. John.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Thanks for joining us.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Well, thank you, Stephen. Your apology is accepted, but let's move on to the trial.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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That sounds like a terrible accident. It was. But it brings up a good point, Stephen. The frantic rush amongst reporters to get this story out on the air, literally a millisecond or two before the other guys, was that urgency in any way necessary?

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Steven, I just don't see how you can blame the viewers for any of this.

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Well, that's... I'm sorry, Stephen, hold on. Stephen... Are you getting more news about the trial?

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Thank you very much. Stephen Colbert. We'll be right back. Martha Stewart, public enemy number 752, was released from prison last Friday and has apparently been on television ever since. She is now under house arrest at her estate in New York's Westchester County. We go now to Samantha Bee live outside of Martha Stewart's house. Samantha, thanks for joining us.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Has anything happened? Yes, John.

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Why are you pointing your cameras into the woman's living room? That's intrusive, no?

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Rob, aren't you supposed to be in Lebanon?

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

1436.865

Well, thank you both very much, Samantha Bee and Rob Corddry. We appreciate it. Pleading guilty to charges relating to running an illegal dog fighting operation. The details of the story, horrific. What happened to these animals, tragic. Despite Vic's immediate denials, it seems he is guilty of acts of depravity and immorality.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Leaving but one question in the mind of NBC's Sunday Night Sportscasters.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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That's almost 28 dog years from now. I guess because of how horrified the NFL is about the dogfighting, no doubt. Peter, what about the gambling, though? The dogfighting might be the least of his concerns. Yeah. You know, I used to enjoy the dogfighting. I'd bring the kids, have a little lunch, we'd make a picnic out of it. And then the gambling came along. Yeah, sullied the whole thing.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Are you sh**ting me? It's not the dogfighting, it's the gambling. So the league is less offended by dogfighting than it is by this. Really? I don't mind you killing each other, but there will be no betting! The worst thing actually isn't the gambling, and it isn't the dog fighting. It's what Vic could do next.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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He killed dogs with his bare hands! But he wouldn't bail on other players, would he?

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Well, you know, if it's loyalty that the NFL really wants, maybe they could just get a...

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

316.38

We turn our attention now to legal matters. In the criminal justice system, there are three separate but equally important groups. The police, who investigate crime. The district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. And the media, who turn the whole thing into an ungodly cluster.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

332.21

And it was mainly that last one on display in Santa Maria, California this morning as the Michael Jackson child molestation trial began. Over 1,100 credentialed reporters are on hand covering the trial, more than twice as many as are stationed with U.S. troops in Iraq. Although, to be fair, by all reports, there is a growing insurgency in Michael Jackson's pants.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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As always, the media is disgusted with itself. We're going to preview what's sure to be a major media circus. It's going to be a media circus.

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A media circus.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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A huge media circus. Media circus. This is truly an all-out war.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Said two dwarves dressed as Raggedy Ann and Andy charged with comically falling into elephant droppings in the third ring. Don't demean us with that analogy. Today's opening statements followed last week's empaneling of a jury comprised of one Asian, three Hispanics, and eight white people. A reasonably fair panel given how hard it would have been to round up a jury of Jackson's actual peers.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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That was Gonzo! Gonzo couldn't get out of jury duty! The celebrity isn't limited to the defendant.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

421.92

Jackson's legal team is rumored to be preparing a star-studded lineup of character witnesses that may include Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Elizabeth Taylor, Eddie Murphy, and even Jay Leno, who's been known to take a pot shot at Jackson from time to time, specifically every night from 11.30 to 11.45, five days a week.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Mr. Leno could not be reached for comment, though his band leader, Kevin Eubanks, released a statement saying, quote, can't be reached for comment, man. But of course, the big entertainment story, the Michael Jackson trial with a verdict pending in the case. The singer was dramatically rushed to a hospital last night. Daily Show senior jacologist Ed Helms has been covering the trial.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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He joins us now from California. Ed Helms, thanks so much for joining us.

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So you're saying that Jackson's medical condition is really psychosomatic, essentially imaginary?

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But Ed, these epiphanies that Jackson is having, are they just bringing on a despondency, a sadness?

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Ed, even if Jackson is found innocent, though, is there really any way for him to recover?

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Thank you very much. Ed Helms, everybody, live from California. The last one doesn't even rhyme. We begin tonight, of course, with the news that's dominated headlines ever since Friday afternoon's stunning announcement.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Number one, not guilty for Martha Stewart on the conspiracy charge. That's count one, not guilty for Martha Stewart.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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There you have it, CNBC reporting Martha Stewart not guilty. Yes, in their gleeful rush to be the first to let you know if Martha Stewart's life would be crushed or not, some news organizations misinterpreted these incredibly sophisticated communiques from their representatives.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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But the fact remains, Martha Stewart was found guilty Friday of four counts of obstructing justice, conspiracy, making false statements, and poorly accessorized. Stewart was charged... All right. Really? That makes you feel better? Please. Stewart was charged not with insider trading, but rather with lying to protect herself from the insider trading charges she wasn't charged with.

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Damn you, Circular Logic! Throughout the trial, the press has behaved admirably. And that trend continued with their post-verdict coverage.

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May I say kudos to CBS. To CBS's The Early Show, that's the kind of female prison rape reference you're just not going to get on any old morning show. Prosecutor David Kelly hailed the verdict as a triumph of justice.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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He added, now if you'll excuse me, I have to go arrest every single other person on Wall Street. By the way, one thing that we should all know about this attorney, David Kelly, very proud of his left ear. Meanwhile, Stewart's attorney tried to look on the bright side of his failure.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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It's not a conviction, it's an opportunity. In the meantime, of course, Martha will not be shipped off to prison, but rather relocated to an exclusive gated community with its own private security force. Now, the Stewart verdict was a big story when it came out on Friday, but imagine a nightmare world in which you'd been forced to wait for that verdict one minute longer.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Well, thankfully, that horrific scenario never unfolded, thanks to reporters inside the courtroom who, despite a ban on cameras and cell phones, devised an accurate, foolproof system to notify their colleagues of the result. Yes, color-coded scarves and numbered signs. Yee-haw. That was exciting. Look at me. I'm Edward R. Murrow. Woo!

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

851.05

Not the most dignified moment for America's press corps, though their actions did lead to the successful arrival at the courthouse of United Flight 441 from San Diego. Okay. So the sight of professional reporters running out of a courthouse, waving their clothes in the air was a tad unseemly. But the important thing was, it led to accurate reporting.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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All right. MSNBC did put up a not guilty graphic for a few seconds while they tried to figure everything out. But CNBC, their news channel focused on finance. This was right up their alley. Plus, they were posted right across the street from the courthouse. I'm sure they got it right.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

895.533

Number one, not guilty for Martha Stewart on the conspiracy charge. That's count one. Not guilty for Martha Stewart. Count two. On count four, she is... That is... I'm sorry. Martha, on count three, is guilty. That is the... Is guilty, Michael? I'm sorry. Guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. Count five is not guilty. And let me just make sure, I want to make sure I get this absolutely right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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That is against Peter Bekanovic. He is not guilty on count five. That is the count of making false statements. Not guilty. It's a tremendous mixed bag here. Okay, hang on. I'm being told that Peter Vikanovic is not guilty on the count of making and using false documents. That was that at 60. Martha is guilty on count eight. I have just been told she is guilty on count eight, but not guilty.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Okay, all charges for Martha Stewart, I apologize, the confusion out here is immense, but now I'm being told that Martha Stewart is guilty on the conspiracy charge, guilty of every single charge against her. So Frank, the cameraman here, if we could go over this one more time, starting with Martha Stewart. Yes. Let me just interrupt you for one second.

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TDS Time Machine | Celebrity Trials

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Not guilty on the count of making false statements, not guilty on making and using false documents, guilty on the count of perjury, and guilty on the obstruction of justice charge. False statements. All right, Michael, thanks very much. I'm going to get you to hold on for just one second.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

275.491

On a lighter note, today is Valentine's Day. And for more on love, that most mysterious of human emotions, we turn to our resident expert, John Hodgman. John, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, John. Let me put this to you, if I can. What is love?

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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What does that mean?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

351.703

All right, so why is love?

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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So you're saying love is, what, a social construct or an idea without any physical basis?

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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The floor is yours.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

441.011

I have never heard that phrase.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

46.634

February 14th has long been a special day for people who aren't drowning in a sea of loneliness. But have we forgotten its true meaning? Nate Corddry investigates.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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Now that seems incredibly dystopic.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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Thank you very much. Happy Valentine's Day. John Hodgman, we'll be right back. If a news story falls through the cracks, Lewis Black catches it for a segment we call Back in Black.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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It was black. We'll be right back after this.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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Yes, my friends, it is Valentine's Day, and if today is about anything, it's about pleasing your loved ones. And let's face it, no one does that quite as well or as often as a veteran porn star. And that's why a rabbi in Southern California has hired former porn actress Nina Hartley to teach an adult education sex seminar for his congregants at Temple Beth Ami.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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By the way, the key word on that sign? Reform. The rabbi, Mark Blazer, surprisingly that is not his porn name, that's his rabbinical name, explains why he couldn't lead his congregants to the Promised Land.

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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Rabbi Blazer was then given the coveted Understatement of the Year Award. Rabbi Pornstar. So why Nina Hartley at a synagogue? Well, for one, she's Jewish. She does have 18 years of lecturing experience to go along with her religious background. Not to mention she gives great kepi.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

809.395

Yes, my name is Shlomo. I'm a 25-year-old Talmudic scholar. My question is this, Ms. Hartley. Is it permissible under Judaic law for me to be masturbating right now?

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TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

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Hartley stresses to Jewish congregants that sex is indeed an important part of family life, and she even gives tips on how to enjoy edible underwear. The great part is whatever underwear you don't eat, you can wrap up in tinfoil and keep for later.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

0.089

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

1031.964

I just can't hear you, dude. I'm sorry, buddy. You're breaking up. You're breaking up. Of course, life in the Caymans isn't all business.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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That's a relief, because if I had to do any more banking, I'd have to put my balls on ice.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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For most Americans, paying taxes costs money. But it doesn't have to. A quick reading of the US tax code will tell you you need to hire an accounting firm. And what they'll tell you is what they've told thousands of American corporations. Taxes are for douchebags. That's why smart companies have moved offshore, where they don't have to pay taxes. You may be saying, but I live in America.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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Well, that doesn't mean your money has to. Come on. There's no better place to shelter your income than offshore, right here in the beautiful Cayman Islands. It's a tropical tax haven. Sheltering your money here couldn't be easier. After choosing which SPF to use, the next toughest decision is which of the Cayman 600 banks to go with. See if you can figure out why I chose this one. Well, hello.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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How hard would it be for me to move my company offshore?

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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Right. But apparently that explanation isn't good enough for tax lovers like CPA John Lieberman.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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God, that's good.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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No, I meant what you just said was really good.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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Did you get me a receipt for that piña colada?

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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Gee, who should I listen to? That's better. Oh yeah, there we go.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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Yeah.

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

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You can do your due diligence on me anytime. But how do over 30,000 corporations manage to squeeze onto such a small island? One visit to Tyco's headquarters showed us the answer is smart use of space. Mr. Chairman? Hello? Mr. Chairman? I'd like to ask you a few questions. Is this a value package? Despite all the advantages of setting up shop here, some people just don't get it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

976.302

What's the BFD if a corporation wants to put its headquarters in the Cayman Islands?

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TDS Time Machine | Tax Day

988.311

Hawaii? Hawaii is for losers who like taking it up the IRS. High five.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

101.8

I understand, sir. And that's what this show is for, to give kids like you a break. Thank you. We're here to help you out.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

109.355

How did a Southern Baptist conservative, really, person become the nemesis of the right in this country? There's a certain segment of the country that demonizes Jimmy Carter.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

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A very small segment.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

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Yes, it is. And by the way, a lovely Christmas gift this would make.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

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A lot of the changes you peg to the rise of fundamentalism, not just in this country, but around the world over the past 30 years, beginning with the hostage crisis in Iran.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

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Do you have a sense in your mind why that hasn't been stopped by the electoral process? Because there is, I see it everywhere, concern over that type of extremism or infiltrating itself into the government or these things. But every election cycle that comes around doesn't seem to reflect that dissatisfaction.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

328.527

You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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TDS Time Machine | Jimmy Carter on the Rise of Fundamentalism

44.168

How are you? Nice to see you. Thank you for being with us. The book is called Our Endangered Values. It is your 20th book. Absolutely. You have been traveling the world, monitoring international elections, doing wonderful missionary work, building homes. Sir, I ask you this. Why are you busier? Why do you work harder than our actual president?

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

1021.452

And it got to where, what was the thing they litigated throughout this campaign? He's a fascist. He's a terrible person. Democracy is on the ballot. Guess what lost at the ballot? If you told us democracy is on the ballot, well, democracy got its ass kicked by a majority vote. So I'm very cautious about when to know. Yeah, hopefully I won't do it the night after Kristallnacht. I'll get it.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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But it's like, when do you put your dog down? It's one of those things. You're not quite sure. But I do understand how annoying that is.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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Right. How old are you? I'm 19. 19 years old and the world's already beat the shit out of you. Isn't that, it's always the young dudes that are like, I have a quick question, I'm 19 years old. When hope is gone. When the darkness slowly creeps down. I'm 61. So I'm already in injury time. Like, so I'm good. I'm actually weirdly always optimistic. I think maybe that is the horizon of history.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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I came up at a time in the 60s where we had all these great leaders, and we killed all of them, every single one. And then we went to Vietnam and law, and then Watergate. Like, shit was just unraveling. So I do think it gives you a sense of, oh, it's always a mess. And what that makes you realize is, oh, so it's just, that's the game.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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We buckle down, you got to lunch pail it, and you carry through. Like, you're 19. Like, you'll someday, when you're 61, and people will be saying, like, how do you maintain optimism? You'll be like, you have no f***ing idea what it was like when I was a kid. Like, you will be that guy to be able to say, like, you think it's bad now? And obviously, look, it is. These are tenuous times.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

1167.409

And maybe even we'll talk a little bit about that on the program tonight. Terrible times, it's a good thing. No, but... Because part of the issue is you just want someone to talk to you like you're a human, like you're an adult, not like it's a work, not like they're spinning you or any of those. That's my biggest complaint with all of this. Nobody expects perfection.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

1194.47

Everybody knows that the obstacles... And all the things that are going to be thrown in front of us are going to be arduous. That's life. Life is hard. But you just want someone to not bullshit you when what you know you see in here is what you see. That's all that you can really do. But how do you maintain? So you're 19. So are your friends optimistic or pessimistic? Or do they not talk about it?

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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Or are they just on Discord being racist? What is going on?

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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So here's the only thing I would say. I'm glad you do that. But really, we write it for eight-year-olds. So... 19 is a little above our pay grade. But is it, I do remember 19, like that age, there is a certain existential anxiety that creeps in because the world does, listen, it feels out of control.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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You probably know more about it now than we did when we, I think one of the things that's probably harder for kids now is,

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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you are the amount of information that you absorb is probably but i would imagine hopefully your brains will evolve to you know because when i was a kid like tv happened and everybody's like that will don't sit in front of the tv and eat and just watch tv and now you'd be so happy if your children would do that like you'd just be like don't send pictures of your dick to people like

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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Now, I'm going to bring out somebody right now who has also been through a lot. He is a correspondent on the show, but he hurt his foot. Yeah, he hurt his fee-fee. He tripped on a curb. So I'm going to bring him out now very slowly, but I want you to give him encouragement. Michael Kosta, ladies and gentlemen! His crutches are my height.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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Do you want to tell them the story? So can I tell? Michael is like an actual, like, real kind of world-class athlete, to be honest. Like, it's kind of unusual for comedy. Like, he has a functioning body and face. So when he came in, I thought this was, Michael was like a world-class tennis player. And so I thought it was that.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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People ran over people. I'm at the age where if I had fallen on a curb, I would no longer be working in show business.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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But you're okay now. Are you x-rayed?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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I did play collegiate soccer, but I will, not to be self-effacing, it was in the 80s when soccer, I mean, the level of, we could still use our hands. It was really, at that point, American soccer was more like elevated kickball.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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So, I made a bet with a gentleman by the name of Jalen Brunson. He's a basketball player for the, we call him the New York Knickerbockers. He's a point guard for our New York Knickerbockers. He and I made a bet. about two months ago. His bet was, if the New York Giants lose to the Philadelphia Eagles in the regular season, I have to wear a Saquon Barkley Eagles jersey to Madison Square Garden.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

539.861

because we've already paid for it with our subsidies. I'll be going to the hospitals. You know, it's important to remember who the real heroes are. So... My favorite thing out of all that sort of Indy 500 pit stop trying to keep the car on the road was, and I'm not even sure who said it, but they just go, you want some duct tape on that? Old electricians. Old electricians trick. I'm like, sure.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

586.394

For those of you who watched the show for many, many years, you will know this is the second time that I have, going for physical comedy, cut myself to the point where I need stitches. When did we do it the last time? It was a margarita blender with me and Oliver, and I hit it down and, like, just drew blood. And Oliver couldn't have been happier. I'd never seen anything like it.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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He sat there gleefully watching, and that was more of an artery. That was just spurting everywhere. And at one point, he yells at me, it's just a flesh wound! Stop making such a big deal of it! That's not good. I'm probably gonna need to go to the hospital.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

681.541

Thank you all very much for being here. It's really, there's no dignified way to do this, really, is there? And by the way, the story that I'm going to tell my wife and children when I get home, very different than the one that, there I was on 54th and 10th, an old woman being hounded by thugs and Bulgarians. I swung my fist.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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I accepted this bet, even though this bet is an inevitability. Like, the Giants suck. Like, the Giants won three games this year, and the Eagles earned the Super Bowl. And it's not like that surprised me. It didn't sneak up on me. Like, when he asked me, I was thinking in my head, like, but the Giants suck. But I didn't say, like, give me points. I just went, like, okay.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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critics who are saying that you're being light on the fascist message recently oh i tell my critics shut up you're a fascist no so i do appreciate that because i understand the desire but like i'm very big on and i know it's annoying but specificity and nuance and i think if you cry fascism at

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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And so Saturday night, this Saturday night, I went to the Knicks game in a Saquon Barkley Eagles jersey and an Eagles bucket hat. And I was, in my home arena, booed relentlessly. And by the way, like, not just in the arena, on the street. Like, walking by pretzel guys who were like, you f***ing chug! So that was my weekend. So, good luck in the Super Bowl.

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After the Cut - 2025 Part 1

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every administrative overreach, even the ones that are constitutionally okay, you will find yourself out of fascism bullets when the time really comes to remind people of, because you will, I think what the media has done over the last 10 years is cry wolf to the point where they numbed everybody. It was an anesthetic.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1020.36

Remember when the 14th Amendment... Remember when the 14th Amendment, you know, the one that guarantees equal protection under the law as well as citizenship for any person born in the United States? Remember when that was passed and how heated the issue became? I remember this one episode of Actual Crossfire in 1866.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1037.56

Senator Edward Cowan, R-Pennsylvania, argued that if the amendment passed, California would be, quote, overrun by a flood of Mongols, that Californians would be immigrated out of house and home by the Chinese, and that it is utterly and totally impossible to mingle all the various families of men from the lowest form of the hot and top up to the highest Caucasian in the same society.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

104.519

If I have told kids fleeing violence and poverty once, I've told them a thousand times. Immigrant minors seeking asylum post-2007 must apply at their consulate with form N-400 and a biometrics fee. Then appear for a series of processing interviews to ascertain priority determination, unless they have family living in the United States, in which case they file form I-130.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

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Boy, was that guy wrong. First of all, almost all of the various families of men from 1866 have been successfully mingled from highest Caucasian through yellow peril and black Irish, but... Freeze your TiVo, you might enjoy this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1085.046

And second, as far as California goes, the Chinese have only managed to take control of a small section of San Francisco and one really beautiful movie theater in Hollywood. So our movie stars never fell for your devious Chinese foot and hand cement traps. They removed their extremities before it hardened. So the worries around the 14th Amendment never came to pass.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

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And yet suddenly, 145 years later,

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

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My God, the hot and tart Mongol flood is back. Threatening to overwhelm us. What's the issue about it this time? Anchor babies. You mean the hottest new show on Nick Jr.? Anchor Babies? This is Brian Williams. This is baby Brian Williams saying to you and your family, I just made a boom boom. Wait a minute, y'all are repealing the 14th Amendment to send a message to babies?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1169.181

Here's a sign you shouldn't finish a sentence. When it begins with, I know it's hard to be tough on babies, but the free ride is over, you drooling, diaper-soiling, poor motor control-having little . Hey, hey, hey, moron, object permanence called. No, object permanence, no. Thought you were special ed teachers. Can I get a Piaget? Nothing?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1217.617

Whose parents are exploiting you for citizenship? Your parents? Yes, they are. Yes, they... I think it's going to blow. All right. So one attorney talking crazy talk. It's not like she's an elected official espousing some radical conspiracy theory.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

124.181

And then you file form DS-260 under your NVC case number. Unless, of course, you have skills attractive to an employer. Well, do you? Do you? Child fleeing violence and poverty? Because if you do, you're gonna wanna go with form I-140. I mean, it's not that difficult, child. Now, you may be wondering, if they didn't fill out the forms, can't we just deport these kids?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1252.979

It's not just a theory. In fact, my doctor says it's a symptom of my syphilitic mind. The idea that Al-Qaeda is planting children here to be raised as sleeper cell terrorists. There is a kid in my son's kindergarten class, Osama Feldstein, who does kind of stand out. This is what I got the beard for. All right, but that's not a normal congressman. It's Louie Gohmert.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1287.177

He actually believes that hate crime laws lead to necrophilia and that senators should be elected by state legislatures and that the moon is made of whipped cream, which a giant fat man eats every month. I only made up one of those. It's not like any of our more rational and respected political figures give this movement any credence.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1317.776

No, you call it drop and leave. I believe they call it the miraculous birth of their child. And why do politicians always have to give everything a catchy name, a shock and awe, cut and run? I'm against astronauts having sex in space. Vote no on tang and bang. No selling Easter candy to pedophiles. You heard me. No peeps for creeps. I have 30 more of these.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1349.804

So much irrational, illegal immigrant hate. I just wish there was a voice of reason out there, someone who could see this issue clearly.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

1376.109

Lou Dobbs! Thinks your immigration measure is too draconian. Lou Dobbs. Lou Dobbs, who spent the last 15 years of his life trying to get Dora the Explorer deported. Thinks you've gone too far.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

158.685

Well, first of all, what the is wrong with you? These are children. Why would you even ask that? And second of all, good question. Why can't we just deport them?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

184.668

Stupid liberals. That's why we need a Republican in the White House. Well, since we apparently have a process in place, why all the hullabaloo?

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

206.996

Well, of course, the agents of the Border Patrol are doing what they can to help these kids.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

220.485

It's all going to be... It's all gonna be documented in the new hit movie, Three Men and 50,000 Babies. Steve, one of them, is that? Gutenberg's back, baby! So we got ourselves a genuine humanitarian crisis. Unless someone would like to label it differently.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

256.592

Ah, Representative Louie Gohmert! He's like Old Faithful. If instead of hot water, it regularly shot out stupid.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

283.089

You want the Marines on this one. You want tip of the spear. All right, now I'm not a military expert, obviously, but generally an enemy invasion force is not particularly dangerous until it can reach and open its own cereal. Now, from what I know, even Hitler wasn't always an imminent threat. Actually, there's someone who works here.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

327.951

I know, I'm just, I'm waiting for the day when that kid, 20 years from now, just hunts me down, comes to my door and goes, yeah, it's real funny. Yeah, that's real, real funny. Anyway, so, humanitarian crisis, response system overwhelmed. Where have we seen this before? This, anybody, anybody? Oh, you, fellow Lone Star Republican Congressman, Blake Farenthold. Mayor Maynard.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

355.953

This is President Obama's Katrina. Well, I believe in this case, it's pronounced a-Ka-ta-ree-na. Although, to be fair, when it comes to glaring gaps in what are supposed to be secure barriers... I-I think Barinholt knows what he's talking about. In fact, ha... Oh, my God, hang on. The crisis is so bad, they're everywhere. They're... No! All right.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

388.78

You know, I wouldn't be so quick to blame Obama for this flood of immigrants. I mean, maybe they got the idea that America was a great place to come from some other people.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

418.033

I don't know about you, but I really feel like an apple pie right now. Why would you not? Why would you not come to a place that great? In fact, it's why all of our ancestors came to this country and were themselves originally unwelcome. Because that's the story of America.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

443.279

From Ben Franklin's worries that Germans were ruining Pennsylvania to our 19th century 60-year ban on the Chinese immigrants who had just finished building our rail system to our very real and justifiable concerns about the Irish and their insatiable applying for jobs. We have always been a nation of immigrants who hate the newer immigrants.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

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Because Lady Liberty may appear to be a beacon to those yearning to breathe free, but the truth is, she's actually a bouncer.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart on Immigration Over the Years

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What does this draconian new immigration law do exactly? Increase border patrols, taller fences, piranha moat? Oh, no.

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You know, that's tough. It's not unprecedented having to carry on your papers. It's the same thing that free black people had to do in 1863. Lord knows that didn't leave any residual anger.

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You can sue the police for not enforcing harshly enough. Help! Police neutrality! How much of a reach is this bill? Well, let's hear what Tom Tancredo has to say about it. He's the guy who called Miami a third world country and said the Minutemen Border Patrol aren't vigilantes, they're heroes.

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Holy . He thinks you've gone too far, Arizona. Tom Tancredo. The man Mexican parents tell their kids about to get them to eat their vegetables. He thinks you've gone too far. It's, it's, he does. It'd be like Ted Nugent. Be like Ted Nugent pleading with you to just put down the guns and talk this thing out.

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But one of the bill's sponsors, State Senator Russell Pierce, explains how laughable, laughable, What charges of racial profiling are?

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And I'm going to miss them. For more on Arizona's immigration controversy, we go to Wyatt Cenac live from Phoenix. Wyatt, how in any way do you enforce this bill without racial profiling or violating the equal protection or search and seizure laws in the Constitution?

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Right. But if you don't catch them coming across the border... What would they be doing that would be suspicious as immigrants? Are they looking for people doing this?

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But, Wyatt, those are not illegal activities in and of themselves, assuming you have the white parents' permission.

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Whoa, no, that, yes. That's Jeffrey Dahmer. He's a cannibal and a killer. He is obviously suspicious.

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That is an interesting suggestion. Although a grown man inviting thousands of kids to his house gives off a little bit of a Neverland Ranch vibe. All right, so look, it's not like these countries developed problems overnight. Why the sudden kidsplosion?

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No. I mean, maybe I'd stop that last guy to get his autograph, but I'd... You collect autographs of illegal immigrants? No, that's not... That's punch from chips.

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It was a TV show. It was a TV show in the 70s.

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Eric Estrada, I think, was born in New York.

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You arrest the monkey, too?

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Part of the law says, as a citizen of the United States, you're within your right to refuse to show identification. Anyone can tell Arizona law enforcement, hey, I'm a citizen. And the police have to take you at their word. It's a loophole so big, you could drive a truck full of, oh, I don't know, day laborers through it.

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Who's gonna... Who's gonna finish? What? I don't have a fan.

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I mean, not for nothing, but if this is the diplomatic 9-11, sack up. I'll give you its diplomatic mischief night, maybe. But most of the in there is non-policy chit-chat and things we already knew. And quite frankly, Ahmadinejad is Hitler? I think he might take that as a compliment. A peace offering towards a detente. I mean, transparency is a good thing.

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Government wrongdoing should be ferreted out. Although, just because something's secret doesn't necessarily mean it's nefarious. How's Secretary of State Hillary Clinton dealing with the blowback?

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Is she embarrassed? Were you alive in the 90s? Do you have any idea who you're dealing with? You know she's married to this guy, right? I think she's built up a bit of an embarrassment tolerance. It'd be like splitting a Mike's Hard Lemonade with Keith Richards and going, should I call you a cab? Are you too up to drive? Not that there weren't some embarrassing details.

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Offering foreign leaders face time with the president in exchange for taking a Gitmo detainee. It could hopefully be more effective than Obama's original, take a prisoner, leave a prisoner jar. So ultimately, very few took. A lot of people left. Ultimately, an interesting yet somewhat less explosive and less than searing indictment. So why Assange? Why? Assange. I'm sorry, Assange.

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I think you're underestimating how cynical Americans are about our government already. We've engineered coups in Chile, Iran, Guatemala, etc. We sold arms to Iran and then used the money to fund Central American revolutionaries. We sell weapons to our enemy's enemy, who somehow always then becomes our enemy and forces us to defend ourselves from our own weapons. That happens a lot.

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An intelligence breach of this magnitude must have been coordinated by a conspiracy of high-level masterminds with ninja-like powers of concealment.

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In fact, you know what we call that? The number eight. It takes a lot. To unimpress us, you really should read up about the we already know about us. So unless in these WikiLeaks we're going to find out that the aliens from Area 51 killed Kennedy, stop with the drama. For more on the story, we go to our senior intelligence correspondent, Asif Manvi. Asif. Thank you.

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You're not, you don't get to, I'm not gonna let you see my penis.

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I'm hiding my penis.

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But, Asif, that's not transparency. Transparency is being open to the public on important issues and processes so that the public can make informed decisions.

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So your, your, your, my penis is a metaphor?

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You know, should everything, Asif, be out there? If there's total transparency... we won't really see anything.

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Well, the Pentagon Papers exposed blatant lies about how the government got us into the Vietnam War, how they continued to mislead us about the war's progress. Even the most cynical reading of these documents I don't think rises to that indictable level.

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That seems like a relatively banal point to be made. Not all information is equal, though, Asif.

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Your fly is down? Always. Thank you, Asif. Asif Manvi, everybody. We'll be right back.

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Brad Ass 87, really? The incredible super mole spy went by the name Brad Ass 87 and told the computer hacker that he was in Army Intelligence. Let me take a whack at trying to solve this. Maybe I've been watching Bones too much, but computer, search through the files looking for an Army specialist named Brad who's 87 years old. No, wait! Born in 1987.

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How did they do it? Well, in Sherlock Holmes. By the way, Brad, you also might want to delete your armiespecialist.bradmanning.com backslash leak guy at itwasme.bradmanning.com. Does Brad Ass 87 have any idea what he's done to the American military? Not to mention what he's done to the life of Dove soap heir Bradford Assington the 87th. Hasn't he suffered enough?

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For Christ's sake, the 87th generation of Assingtons. All the money in the world can't change that last name. That's why he's a douchebag. Is that, I'm just curious, is that a stock photo? I'm hoping. Probably a guy somewhere going, I thought that was a modeling job. Look, maybe Manning didn't need a secret name. Maybe his data collection skills were that stealth.

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I believe the obvious question here is, how does a soldier sit around lip-syncing to Lady Gaga all day and not run afoul of Don't Ask, Don't Tell? That has got to be a substitute for telling, no? So Wikileaks.org has posted 92,000 classified documents about the Afghan war online. Well, let's take a look. What is the, is it, oh. Okay. Wow.

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Apparently our worst strategy in Afghanistan is being encoded in Justin Bieber's Twitter account. Any news organizations out there taking the time to maybe wade through these documents and boil it down a bit for us?

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Pakistan is doing, we give them billions of dollars of aid. Pakistan is funneling that money to the Taliban. One of the chief financial contributors to our enemy is us. We have ostensibly put a hit out on ourselves. This is insanity. Or to put it another way,

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I'm reacting to the upedness of it. What does it take to get you guys fired up? What does it do? Seriously, what all these documents are doing is exposing the existential trap we find ourselves in in Afghanistan. I guess it's no kid may or may not be in balloon. That was crazy. That whole afternoon I was like, is he in there? Have you heard the news? Extra, extra.

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Future President Hillary Clinton may have to pardon former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

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Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. What did she do? Did she funnel arms to ISIS to pay for a land deal in Arkansas? Did she sell Alaska back to the Russians in exchange for their silence on Benghazi? What did she do? Pad her resume with fake countries she supposedly negotiated treaties with? I should have known there was no such thing as Pantsudistan.

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It's the biggest leak in U.S. military history. Really? 92,000 pages? I would hope that would be the biggest leak. seeing as that beats the Pentagon Papers by, I don't know, 85,000 pages. Perhaps this might be an appropriate time to let leakers of military documents know it's not a competition. So, uh, some, uh, some top secret , hm?

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Oh. Is that against the law, not to have an email? I mean, it seems less of a scandal and more of like a nerd snap. Like, oh, she's so old, she doesn't even have an official email account. I mean, what's the big deal about not having an email account? Or what am I missing here?

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Oh, okay. Well, that's not nothing. She should have done that, right? But don't we have a facility in Utah that collects all of our email anyway? Solving the whole archive problem? Can't you just ask them or they don't talk to you either? Why is this coming out now? Wasn't it clear to anybody who emailed Secretary Clinton during that time that her email address was her personal email?

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And did it not also raise a red flag in the West Wing that her personal email was, don't tell anyone about this account at secret slash shh dot definitely not gov? Come on, it's not like the State Department didn't eventually get all the Clinton emails that Clinton decided they should get.

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I believe it is a sign that you have been in government too long when you write memos about your daughter's wedding. Re the happiest day of your life. Your father and I look very forward to sharing the event with you. We love you very much. Dictated, not read.

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I think the concern there is that the aides are the ones who get to decide which emails are appropriate to be shared as opposed to an independent arbiter. That's why Doritos doesn't get to decide which ingredients consumers need to know about. Or why you don't get to tell the cops which pockets to search. Wait, officer, not that one. That's my weed pocket.

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And those other two gentlemen are my balls. Is there another reason that she didn't need to archive her emails with State?

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But I think the regulation started in 2009, no? Wasn't that four years after Powell left? And I mean, if Colin Powell was using a personal email address, they didn't really have rules on personal emails yet, because back then, email wasn't really as prevalent. Laptops may explain why Powell felt the need to install one in his office.

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How can we know that Clinton even turned over all her relevant emails?

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A million. And it's not as big as the number of pages Clinton actually had, but that's the crazy thing about numbers. You know, you can always top them. Somebody be like, you have 100 Dalmatians? That's a load of Dalmatians. I can't imagine anyone having more than 100 Dalmatians. And then some lady being like, 101. That is a lot of Dalmatians, actually.

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But if that's, you know, how everybody feels, why not just say that Secretary Clinton did turn over all her emails?

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If you were in her email, you'd be starring in the most boring Tron sequel of all time. Tron 2, the inbox.

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Today, once again, by the way, we begin our program with a continuing saga of WikiLeaks, a 250,000-page document dump that, like most post-Thanksgiving dumps, is endless and fascinating to pick through. And if you know anything about my family, should, of course, remain classified.

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I was worried. I thought it was top secret. It's just secret. That is a much lower security classification than top secret. It actually goes, army classification wise, secret, then top secret, and then, of course, I believe, pop secret. That is where all of our military information is encoded in fluffy and delicious butter-coated kernels. Oh. So pernicious.

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The release of many embarrassing and possibly damaging diplomatic cables has introduced the world to a new supervillain. WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. Assange. Shep, am I pronouncing that right?

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Assange. Thank you, Shep. Assange is the founder of WikiLeaks, a site not to be confused with WookieeLeaks, where for $10.99 a month, you can... Self-explanatory, really. This is Wikileaks, a website whose sole purpose is to expose information. So who is this asshole?

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Assange is Osama bin Laden crossed with Magneto and the albino from The Matrix with more than a scooch of the Dyson vacuum guy. Yeah. It's mostly the Dyson vacuum guy, quite frankly. Anyway.

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That's it? That's what Jews get? You get a huge shindig on the White House lawn for Easter with every children's character that has ever been invented, including this guy? Who the is this guy? Captain Planet? Oh, what's his super, he's Captain Planet. Hey, kids. My selling point for my people is we're gonna have soup? It's the Avengers versus the Jewish members of my staff.

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Hey kids, who wants to meet Debbie Wasserman Schultz? Where's everybody going? Look, and I get it. I don't want to say Seders are boring, but this isn't a photo we're showing, it's video. Allow me to get personal for just a moment. As a father of mixed-faith children who are exposed to both Christian and Jewish holidays, I can't help but feel that we Jews are getting our asses kicked out here.

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In fact, you know what? Jews. Camera three. What are we doing? We've already conceded defeat in the Christmas v. Hanukkah kerfuffle, seeing that the Christians are celebrating the birth of their savior, and Hanukkah is acknowledging oil lasting longer than it would normally last. And to be honest with you, truth be told, there really is no gauge. I mean, how much oil was in there?

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Well, let's begin tonight with the weekend's festivities. A big weekend for what we call Judeo-Christians. Two major religious festivals at the same time, and President Obama celebrated both of them in what I believe is an attempt to convince people he isn't Muslim. Nice try. Nice try.

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It could have been eight days' worth of oil. We don't really know. I mean, it could have been a very reasonable amount of oil. It's not the point. It's not the point. The point is this. There's no contest there, Hanukkah, Christmas. No contest. But we can't afford to lose this one, too. The key is the children, people. That's what Christians have figured out. You get the children, you win.

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Let's check out both sides' holiday pitch. Okay, kids, Easter weekend is an observation of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection. So, ba-bam! Ba-bam! A basket with candy. We got chocolate bunnies. We got candy eggs. We got chocolate bunnies who lay candy eggs filled with more chocolate. How are Christians the ones that came up with plastic grass, by the way? We're the ones with hay fever.

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But all right, it's cool, it's cool. Jews, what do we got? Well, we're celebrating our freedom from slavery. So, ba-bam! Let my people nosh! We could have gone with a freedom-themed festival, or instead we chose to focus on the slavery part of the dinner. Hey five-year-olds, basket filled with candy and jelly beans or horseradish still in root form?

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Would you like the treats a magical bunny brought you or a bone from a dead baby lamb? Don't worry, we used its blood to mark the door. Oh, which egg am I gonna go for? The one filled with chocolate or the one filled with egg? Cause it's an actual egg. Cause that's what slaves ate. Taste it. Oh, wait. Before you eat it, make sure you dip it in salt water. It represents the tears of your ancestors.

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Oh good, I see you're making more. We've got to take it up a notch. They're crushing us. I'm not saying we lose our traditions. We've got to adapt it with a slight nod towards recruitment. I'm not saying we've got to go Jehovah's Witness on this thing. But what's wrong with bringing a little zazz, thinking outside the box? We've got a great story here. Moses parting the Red Seas.

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Yesterday, of course, was Easter, which along with Good Friday commemorates the death and resurrection of Christ. And this morning, the White House celebrated in the manner prescribed by Scripture.

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How have we not turned that into a water park? Oh, wait, I'll see you over at the Red Sea ride when I'm done building ice cream pyramids. We gotta do something.

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They got Tebow! Tim Tebow, superstar NFL quarterback, helping them celebrate Easter. He's drawing like 20,000 people to Texas. Who do we have? Same guest every year, Elijah. He can't even bother to come up!

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Obviously it would be great if we also could get a superstar Jewish quarterback to deliver the Passover story, but my guess is a superstar Jewish quarterback is around the same likelihood as Elijah showing up. But let's at least compete with the make-believe Easter Bunny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Passover Pete, the guitar-playing, pizza-eating lion. What up, Pete? Hey, kids.

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Hey, kids, have your Passover pizza. Now, I know technically you're not allowed to eat pizza during Passover. But technically, lions don't play guitars. And quite frankly, bunnies don't deliver eggs. So let's just say we suspend a little disbelief. When the kids turn 13, we'll tell them the real story. So, Jews, we've got to step it up a bit.

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If you'll excuse me, I'll be playing the latest title in my hot new Jewish video game Passover line, Red Sea Redemption, The Wandering. It's a first-person exoduser where kids can experience all the excitement of being lost in the desert for 40 years.

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Only 38 more years to go. We'll be right back. President Bush and his wife Laura were able to escape their political problems yesterday at the White House's traditional Easter celebration, complete with adorable kids, fun, egg-related games, and my God, behind you, the rabbits! Look out! Look out for the rabbits! Oh, I'm sorry. Thought those were giant killer bunnies.

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The First Lady kicked off the festivities.

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In Washington, we know that spring has arrived when the White House lawn is filled with children for the Easter egg hunt.

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And summer in Washington is heralded by the vile, sulfurous stench of the unfound eggs. Fall... fall, of course, brings the locusts. The terrible, terrible locusts, which give way to the icy death grip of winter. The hunt is on! Her remarks were interesting, but not as interesting as what the bunny was saying behind her. I think we also have that audio.

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In Washington, we know that spring has arrived.

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Oh! So an innocent ritual, a blessed respite from politics or not? This year, an organized group of gay and lesbian parents lined up early for tickets because the event is traditionally first-come, first-served. But not so this year. Only VIPs and Katrina victims were allowed in during the morning session that the president was at. The gay and lesbian families were greeted by a different group.

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These fine Christian soldiers who enjoyed a traditional Easter gay yell.

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Okay, um... How about that isn't right? It isn't okay to be dead. I'm sorry. I'm a stickler for grammatically correct hate. Now, White House correspondent Samantha Bee attended the Easter egg roll. She joins us now. Samantha... Thank you for joining us. I get...

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I get that the president considers himself a social conservative, but he meets with the children of Katrina victims and says he just couldn't be there for the gay families. He couldn't have met with them. Why is that?

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It's a great holiday for people who gave up LSD for Lent. You see all them too, right? Actually, this scene is true to biblical scholarship. I remember these characters from The Last Supper. If I'm not mistaken, that was... One of you will betray me. Alvin! So, the White House pulls out all the stops for Easter. Passover's the same weekend?

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Sam, the Katrina issue aside, it seems like to an outside observer that the president purposely... didn't meet with the gay families and denied them entrance while he was there and only let them come in after he left.

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Sam, the Garden of Eden is the Genesis story. Easter and Jesus' resurrection is the New Testament.

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Sam, I don't think that God did say that.

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Sam.

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I really think you're taking this a little too far, no?

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Thank you very much, Samantha. Samantha Bee, we'll be right back.

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Here's what happens. We all drink Manischewitz, get in a line and march. Actually, it's not really a parade. More of an exodus. Yeah. Yeah.

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Lucy came up with the idea after her mother got upset with her for partying with friends one night and said to her, and if your friends painted themselves green and jumped off a bridge naked, would you do that too? Lucy... Lucy, you got some splaining to do.

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She then reportedly added, which is a miracle, because after 15 years of binge drinking, I don't remember much of anything. Here, Lucy explains how she built up the nerve to jump.

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She then reportedly added, and another few drinks after, for a bit of Greek love. And that was Headlines. As we just reported, today New York City celebrates St. Patrick's Day with its traditional parade.

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Our own Vance DeGeneres is there live as we speak, and he'll tell us that behind this parade is a rich Irish culture celebrating centuries of accomplishments and contributions to the tapestry that is America. It's not just one drunken mob scene. There's more to it than that. Vance?

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As in past years, the parade has banned gays from marching. Is there any backlash to that?

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Thank you very much, Vance. Excellent reporting. Please drive safely and remember to take your hand out of your ear. The nation celebrates St. Patrick's Day. Sawdust and Lysol manufacturers celebrate day after St. Patrick's Day. Saturday was St.

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Patrick's Day, and throughout the land, proud Irish Americans poured into one of three million bars named the Blarney Stone to drink green beer and to pretend Van Morrison's moon dance takes them back to the hills of old Dunkilgarni Derry. All in all, it was a day celebrated with parades, parties, and the traditional wearing of the green for the traditional camouflaging of the vomit.

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New York's parade, the country's largest, featured all the fixins. How pleasing. To the delight of those gathered, the Backpipe Ensemble later took requests to play their other song. Which is actually that song, just faster. This year's parade once again excluded Irish-American gays and lesbians, and once again, they were not pleased about it.

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We're Irish, we're queer, and so are some of you! All right, may not rhyme, but a quick note to the protesters. Next year, come up with a chant before the pub crawl.

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After the parade, many in the group made their way to the city's only gay Irish pub, Fisty McCramden Hands. There's old Fisty. And of course, again, cowboys drink free. And in Washington, President Bush met with Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern to discuss the peace process.

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Ahern then turned to Bush and said, and of course a true friend wouldn't keep trying to get me to say they're magically delicious. I'd really appreciate that if you wouldn't. A recent poll found that while most Irish Americans know that St. Patrick was the patron saint of parades, few were aware how his parade has become the subject of great controversy.

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Mo Rocca reports on how sometimes the luck of the Irish isn't enough.

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Morocco, ladies and gentlemen. Well done, well done. Do you think that the St. Patrick's Day parade will change if gay people march in it?

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Yeah, but Mo, not all parades. I mean, what about military parades?

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Thank you, Mo. Mo Rocca, we'll be right back. As we know, our streets are boiling over in anger at these AIG bonus payments. John Oliver joins us now with more. John, we had you out there. We had you out there talking to the people. What was the atmosphere like? How are people feeling?

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Some people just command respect for their people, don't they? But not everyone celebrates the same way. Meet Lucy McLaughlin, an Irish woman living in New Zealand. Lucy's stupid. For her St. Patty's celebration, this plucky Irish lass had someone paint her plucky Irish ass, and then she jumped off a bridge.

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Are you positive that that was a populist protest? Because it appeared that you might have been at the St. Patrick's Day parade.

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John Oliver, everybody. John Oliver. We'll be right back after this. Are you all right?

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Welcome back. Before we go, we're gonna check in with our good friend Stephen Colbert. Stephen Colbert on the floor.

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Well done, Seamus Colbert.

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I'm excited for another St. Patrick's Day and then, obviously, the Passover parade for my people.

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All right. I'm sorry, Ed. We have to go now.

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Thank you very much, Ed. We'll be right back after this. All right. The whole pope thing. I'll tell you, here's how wrong I was about this whole thing as far as the new pope. I had my money on Lieberman. I thought for sure... I'll tell you what, conservative, religious, I thought... The only problem, apparently, he's got the... What do you call it there? The penis with the... He took the...

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Apparently, you want to be the Pope, you got to wear something on your... But the important thing is, I know nothing about anything. What an incredibly historic time in Rome. Yesterday and this morning, the crowds gathered in St. Peter's Square. They were disappointed as black smoke emanating from the Vatican chimney signaled that no Pope had yet been chosen.

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because only an idiot would indicate a pope had been elected with black smoke. What? But at 6 o'clock Rome time, 11 o'clock Eastern time, more smoke began to pour from the Vatican chimney. At first, many news people were caught off guard.

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I could do that. What is their job? What is the news people? What is their job? Are they reporters? Are they literally just sitting there in their pajamas, drunk, yelling at the TV? That's my job. It's like MSP 3000, for God's sake. They're just sitting there narrating. It looks like smoke there. Why don't you flip over to ABC, see what they have. But soon the news was confirmed.

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But as funeral preparations continue, the death of Pope John Paul II has prompted tributes from around the world. In Argentina, the nation's leaders attended church, while Mexican President Vincente Fox paid a call to his country's Vatican embassy. Elsewhere, the Pope, who was credited as a leading force of anti-communism in the 80s, was fondly remembered by... What?

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The bells began chiming. A new pontiff had been selected. Caloo Calay! Fox News broke the story with the stunning words, we have a pope! We! Exclamation point. We have a pope! We have a pope. Apparently, Fox News is now officially a diocese. By the way, the graphic on Al Jazeera TV was a little different. Now, who is the new pope?

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The throngs gathered in front of the central balcony, cheered wildly as the doors swung open to reveal, here he is, Pope Blanca V! Oh, my God! I can't actually know. It's Germany's Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, or the Joey Ratz, as he likes to be called. Pope John Paul II's longtime advisor stood adorned with papal vestments and crowned with the pope's signature white skullcap.

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And as he stood there before the adoring multitudes, it was then that he realized, this is how Bono must feel. Sunday, holy Sunday! Ratzinger, now known as Benedict XVI, addressed the crowd.

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So there you have it. The suspense is over. Roman Catholicism has a new pontiff. And as usual, the CNN news crawl was the first signal of the media's return to idiocy. As the Pope was being announced, they announced singer Clay Aiken will talk about his own experiences with bullying on the Dr. Phil show today. How are we supposed to watch that without getting brain damage?

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Sunday was the Easter there, so I thought it was a good time. Let's check in with the new Pope Francis I and see how he's holding up.

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Did you see the bald spot? been working on that. We're going to take you out to Rome, Vatican City actually, where Daily Show people correspondent Ed Helms is standing by. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. I understand that you have joined the throngs, the millions, in Rome.

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Serving communion at a Tupperware. Buying his red slippers at Payless. Trading in the Popemobile for a Popemoped. It's a simpler time. What else is he doing?

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What, the Popes didn't used to pay their hotel bills? The other Popes, what do they do when they go to check out? They're just like... Hey, this thing's got no pockets. What are you gonna do? I tell you, this Pope Francis seems like a breath of fresh air. I like this.

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His Holiness lives in Florida. Basically, everything Pope Francis does is a standing reproach to the more, uh... festoon style of his predecessor. I'm not saying Benedict overdid it, but every time that guy went to Mexico, kids hit him with sticks hoping jewels would pour out. What is the most un-Benedict-like thing... What is the most... You like that?

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What is the most un-Benedict-like thing Pope Francis could do?

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I don't see anybody's religion. All I see is 24 really dirty feet. Or 120 very dirty toes. Let's do this again. This little piggy went to confession. This little piggy went to prison. You are not a good piggy. I love this guy. He's giving prisoners Manny Popes. We should call him Pope Raymond because everybody loves him. And it's only his second week on the job. How do you top this?

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Harlem shake. Tell the aristocrats joke?

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What a relief to Catholics everywhere. To have their new pope go on television, this is the only dirty laundry he's gonna be airing. But I get it, Mr. Varney, you're a supply-sider. You want to hear a moral argument about that type of economics. Well, let's look to a gentleman seen as a voice of moral authority for millions of people.

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Ooh, somebody light some incense, that's gonna go over like a fart in church.

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Ah! You're going up against the Pope? You're going up against the Pope on how to help the poor? Helping the poor is in this man's wheelhouse. This Pope helps the poor. But you're telling him how to do his job? Pope doesn't come over to where you work and slap Jamie Dimon's out of your mouth. That's weird, that wasn't in the prompter.

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Exactly. Free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord. Who says you can't serve both God and money? Who would say such a thing? Who would say such a... That's not fair. Look at the beard. Guy's clearly a Marxist. All right, step right up. Who's got next?

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I do think we've got some common ground here. I think we both actually agree that some people are being paid too much money to shovel unappetizing, unhealthy to the American public. We just disagree about who those people are and where they were. Speaking of Richard Lewis, why don't we start the show with the opposite of, said Richard Lewis, the Pope. He's the head of the Jewish church.

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Pope is the head of the Catholic church. The vicar of Christ, number one on Godspeed dial, 1.2 billion worshipers hanging on the Pope's every word. And guess what? The word just came down.

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A 200-page, 200-page encyclical, moral treaties on climate change and just in time for beach season. What a great read down at LBI. I hope it's in the original Latin. So the Pope is weighing in on the side of taking action against climate change. Seems a little odd for the Catholic Church to take an environmental stance, but Buddhism was the religion obsessed with recycling.

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But Ed, can you give us a little bit of a sense of what it's like to be there in Rome during this historic moment?

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Boom! Oh, snap! No, you didn't! Holy ! Where my eight-fold path walker's at? Yeah, that line usually doesn't get a lot of enthusiasm. It's not to say the Vatican is being a popey-come-lately to this. They've recognized climate change for a long time.

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I don't know if you really want to list Galileo as one of your references. The Catholic Church? Yeah, no, I remember working with them. They were lovely people. Convicted me of heresy and sentenced me to house arrest for the last nine years of my life. Otherwise, though, very forward thinking. Tell me more about this magic hand I'm talking into.

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Now, here in America, the Republican Party has traditionally been pretty pro-Pope. Pretty pro-Pope. Sharing as they do a yearning for the simpler morality of the 15th century. But now that the Pope has gone rogue, how are they going to handle it?

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That is his job. That's the biggest job of the Pope, is to tell people when they're being bad. That's why he dresses like a big white blanket. He just, uh... But you know what, Barton and Inhofe, who cares about those guys? Santorum will back the Pope. Santorum's so Catholic, he was an altar boy until like six weeks ago. This guy's so Catholic, his crucifix, where's the crucifix?

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Oh, yeah, no, you should leave it, just leave the science to the scientists. By the way... What do the scientists who have an overwhelming consensus about global warming say about global warming? Even Republican frontrunner Yebe Bush is chafing at the pope.

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Yeah, religion's about making us better people. Politics is about bringing out our worst. And I think we need to keep those things. Yeah, but this is weird because Jeb seemed very in favor of church and state at least dating at last week's Faith and Freedom Coalition.

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So there it's okay. Well, perhaps maybe people would be more for preventing global warming if we referred to it as taking a stand for preserving traditional sea levels. It's Adam and Eve. Not... That would work. I think that would work. As the Bible says, it is Adam and Eve, not Adam and...

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Look, Republicans reacting to the Pope's honest call for environmental consciousness with hostility is not the way to go. When the Pope lays down the doctrine like this, there is only one force on Earth powerful enough to sway him.

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Exxon's been lobbying the Vatican over the Pope's climate change message. Ah, they've appealed to a higher authority than God. And so, in the... in the words of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...

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Well, that's interesting. That's an interesting statistic. It does sound like there's been a spirit of coming together there.

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Ed, you were online for gelato?

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Ed Helms, everybody, from Rome. Now, of course, that looked absolutely realistic. Of course, for many of us, the passing of Pope John Paul is a time for reflection on how to use the Pope's death to further your own agenda. It's a difficult task. After all, it would be impossible to sum up this Pope's personal, political, and religious beliefs with just one simple talking point.

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Yes, as luck would have it, the pope's death turned out to be a wonderful time to point out how his views coincided exactly with those of many conservatives. I'll let White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan continue.

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OK. You've set it up on a tee. The pope is beloved. The pope believed in a culture of life. Bring us home.

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Yes! You've done it! The pope and the president, one and the same! Yes! But unfortunately for the administration, the Pope had also expressed other beliefs.

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That's right, a condolence book signed by none other than Fidel Castro, who, and I say this with all respect, is next. That's the pool I'm in. But perhaps the most moving tribute took place in Brazil, specifically that Catholic hotbed of Rio de Janeiro where soccer fans remembered the Holy Father like this. Pope! And these people are mourning You cannot bring the Brazilians down. You can't do it!

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I came on here to spin the Pope's death positively for me. Scott McClellan, same question.

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For shame. For shame, reporter. Out of respect for the Holy Father, just once, could you not point out our bull , please? Just once? Out of respect for the guy? Another place the Pope differed from the administration was on the war in Iraq. The Pope called it, quote, a defeat for humanity, while the Vatican referred to it as, quote, illegal, immoral, and unjust.

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To Fox News' Neil Cavuto, that meant there was some wiggle room in the Pope's position.

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Pope says defeat for humanity, I say tomato. But as always, the classiest respects were paid by our good friends at Crossfire, who decided the best way to honor the Pope was through completely inappropriate show intro music. I you not. Here is an actual clip with the actual sound from the opening of Tuesday's Crossfire.

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Avema. Crossfire! You know? I'm starting to think I was too easy on those pricks. Starting to think that show's cancellation orders came from higher up than we thought. We know that a Rick Santorum administration would look to the Vatican for inspiration. But how would Santorum get those messages of inspiration? Last week, it became clear.

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Pope has an iPad? What's he using that for?

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Why cannot this bird learn forgiveness? But if a 2,000-year-old institution is doing it, it's got to be cutting edge. Where do I find this holy Twitter feed?

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The Pope can't get a straight-up Twitter handle? The Pope? That is weak Twitter. That is tweak. Although it is the inspiration for my new off-Broadway show, Pope Benedict XVI chooses his Twitter account. I had to go with a chef's hat and a 20-year-old iMac for some reason. As a Jew, obviously, I'm not licensed to go full mitre. Okay, this is... Pope Benedict XVI chooses his Twitter account.

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My new one-man show. www.twitter.com.

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How is that? Pope with a zero for the O. What is going on? How can the actual holy see Pope Benedict XVI? Motherfucker! I'll just go with pope to you. That's taken?

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A one-man show. What, it's closed already? Now that the pope's online, though, what's the pope going to put out there?

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It is very convenient, although not all of them, you know what I mean? I don't know if you know the famed passage from the 23rd Psalm, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear. Oh, boy. So close. Of course, there was one message the Pope really does want to get across.

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A great idea. What better way for a celibate 84-year-old to modernize his religion for a younger generation of hormone-addled kids eager to protect themselves from unintended pregnancies and SCDs than to start a Twitter account? I can't think of anything else you could do. Hashtag nothing comes to mind. But let's begin tonight with the only independent country Lichtenstein can whip, Vatican City.

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Today marked the beginning of the 21st century's first papal conclave. As we speak, 115 Roman Catholic cardinals are gathered in the Sistine Chapel to choose the next pope, while thousands of pilgrims gathered outside to witness history and, of course, taunt the Swiss guards. Hey, hey, guardie. Nice hat. A northern-breasted cockatoo called. I'm sorry, is that too specific?

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This morning, the cardinals entered the chapel and took an oath of secrecy, promising to follow the rules of the conclave. First rule of conclave, you do not talk about conclave. Of course, second rule of conclave, the one who denied it supplied it. The Cardinals are now discussing the church's future under the impressive backdrop of Michelangelo's painting, The Last Judgment.

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Interestingly, in a poem written three years ago, John Paul II himself urged the Cardinals to look to the masterpiece for inspiration when choosing his successor. I have an English translation of the poem right here. Let's see. Canto 43, I believe. OK, here it is. Painter from Florence named Mikey some pictures of popeys you might likey. It, uh... Oh, I wish I'd been on Oprah last week.

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You'd really have something to tune into. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen. That? Wait a minute, that? That's what you guys are gonna laugh at? I'm up here busting my nuts all show for nothing. We throw up Pope's secret. Oh, I am very... No, I can have Oprah disappear, you people. I'm friends with her. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen.

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For some, this will mean days away from their wives, although those are the bad cardinals. But, um... For further privacy, electronic jamming and anti-bugging devices have been hidden under a false floor in the chapel, making it impossible to even get a cell phone signal.

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Which is good, because when you're making your case to be the spiritual leader of 1.1 billion people, nothing undercuts your argument like... Ratzinger! During each round of voting, the cardinals write the names of their chosen candidates on ballots marked illigo in summum pontificum, which, if my Latin serves me correctly, is just a bunch of crazy gibberish.

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In Rome, millions of people filled the streets for a chance to pay their respects to the pontiff in person. While outside St. Peter's Cathedral, Italian officials struggled to provide the crowds with blankets, portable toilet facilities, and of course, incomprehensible cinema. Probably would have been better off with just more toilets. One international worshiper described his dedication.

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They keep voting until two-thirds of the pope cardinals agree on one man. After three days, if they don't, a simple majority will suffice. If that still doesn't do the trick, each side gets one possession from the 25-yard line with a minute on the clock. Now, as is well known, the cardinal's progress is monitored by the color of the smoke emerging from the Vatican chimney.

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Today, black smoke emerged, meaning a pope had not been chosen. But when a pope is chosen, the chimney will look like this.

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For more on the Conclave, we're going to go out to our senior religion correspondent, Ed Helms, who is in Vatican City tonight. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. Talk to us, Ed. How's it going out there in Vatican City?

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So there's really no sense, I guess, a way for you to get in there and get a sense of what's happening?

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Hawaii has awesome health care, right?

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And Thanksgiving of all times. Yes. All right.

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John Oliver, we'll be right back. The Dodd-Frank Act is now one year old. And here to discuss the effect it's having in reforming a damaged financial system, we're very lucky to have with us tonight, H.R. 4173, the Dodd-Frank Act, everybody!

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Just hang on there one second. What? I'm sorry, Dodd-Frank. Uh-huh? What? What the hell happened to you? What do you mean?

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No, not just yet. It's been a year. Come on. What about Elizabeth Warren? Wasn't she supposed to be the director of this thing? What happened there?

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Just because Republicans don't want to talk about health care with the president doesn't mean they don't want to talk about it. When John Oliver visited the RNC winter meeting in Hawaii, he found plenty of people eager to chat. He filed this report.

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Well, you know what? That's great. How are those new 400 rules working?

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Hmm. 38...

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I'm sorry, but 38 is a magic number because Dale Wilkinson makes it a magic number? Yeah. You've heard of Dale Wilkinson? No, I have not. The Clippers guy, until you mentioned him just now. No, I have not heard of him.

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Why weren't the rules written, John? Stick me.

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This isn't even mine! I'm sorry, I had no idea, Law. I had no idea, Dodd-Frank. that you have been through so much.

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The Don Frank Act, everybody. We'll be right back. I have no idea. The debate, of course. Being out tonight in Hempstead, Long Island at Hofstra. John, thank you so much for joining us. Ain't no problem, Johnny. Least I can do, all right? Obviously, make or break night for John McCain. How did the candidates do, John?

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Oh! You know that, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything.

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Any reaction from the people of Long Island to the debate?

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I don't know when you changed from a Long Island accent to some Serbian thing, but... Hey, are we talking?

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I thought we were talking. John, how long have you been out in Long Island?

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I'm going to ask you. I'm going to ask you right now. Please return immediately to the studio. All right, John?

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John, please get me out of here. We'll send someone to come and get you, John. Quickly! All right, John. Thank you very much.

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You came to the office.

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And then Mississippi went to see Django Unchained and tried to take the ratification back. Lincoln or no Lincoln, how are you just getting to this now? Didn't the release of Mississippi Burning push to revisit the issue in any way? I mean, to be fair, the state had already taken steps towards banning the controversial practice of people owning other people.

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The Mississippi's legislature did sign on in 1995, but did not file the proper paperwork. Oh, red tape.

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They tried to ratify the 13th Amendment all the way back in 1995. Inspired, no doubt, by that year's blockbuster, I Know What You Did 130 Summers Ago. And then there was, obviously, the 18-year-long paperwork malfunction. By the way, what did happen with the paperwork?

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I'm sure he meant to file the paperwork properly. In fact, here's my impression of him mailing Mississippi's 13th Amendment ratification to the Federal Registrar.

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Okay, two things real quick. A, the founders didn't write the 14th Amendment. That happened in the 1860s. And actually, Ben Franklin very much wanted to fly and have babies all around the world. That's why he invented the sex kite. Anyway, um... Does the Constitution need changing? For answers, we turn to John Hodgman in his segment. You're welcome. John Hodgman joins us.

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So who cleaned up the mess left by former Mississippi Secretary of State Dick Mopas?

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Delbert Hoosman cleaned up for Dick Mopas, huh? Can't wait for next year's Mississippi Secretary of State race between Smert Nickeldom and Cleavage Stickbutt. We'll be right back.

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Thank you very much for joining us. I appreciate you being here.

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My guest tonight, a journalist and an author. His latest book is called The Year of Living Constitutionally, One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Constitution's Original Meaning. Please welcome to the program A.J. Jacobs. Sir! Constitutionally. AJ, so how did the year of living constitutionally, a humble quest to follow the constitutionalism, how did this come about? Why would you consider this?

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Is that a constitutional greeting? Yes, absolutely.

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Is anything going on?

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Now, as you go back and you revisit sort of the mindset of the founders, are you struck by how human they were? You know, we've deified them to to a large extent. But when you learn about them, do you think like, oh, a couple of these guys might be idiots?

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With the Grammarly mistakes, did you correct it or did you think, oh, that one, no, let's pass that one through? How did you... Did you dismiss the Grammarly questions?

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That's the actual Constitution?

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I think many of them would be in their discussions. Did you as you looked back and saw the discussions that they were having? My understanding is they never really thought that partisan politics would work. YOU KNOW, BE THE THING WE WERE FIGHTING OVER. THEY THOUGHT THE BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT WOULD FIGHT EACH OTHER, THAT THE EXECUTIVE WOULD FIGHT THE JUDICIAL, WOULD FIGHT THE LEGISLATIVE.

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I DON'T THINK THEY THOUGHT PARTIES WOULD TRY AND WEAPONIZE EACH DEPARTMENT AGAINST THE OTHER PARTY.

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They were very understated in the 1700s. It is somewhat timely.

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They said, are you jesting? I'm paraphrasing. I'm paraphrasing. Are you jesting?

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Almost like the court. The presidency and the court would be similar. Not a unitary executive. Not a single person.

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Are you drawing on the... Okay. Yeah. How are you going to get young people involved in the Constitution?

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200 and some years later.

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It took a while, but it's here. What do we mistake about them? You know, now, do you watch the arguments that you see about the founders' intent differently? Does it make you a little crazier knowing what the actual arguments were?

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But they were... There were responsibilities with them.

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Right. And that we've in some ways exploited those conversations to just get what we want or do what we want. Right.

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None of them had ever said that, but, yeah. What about the level of discourse? Because I'm always struck by, you know, even in this situation that we face now with the debate and all that, the way, the gaslighting that occurs, the lack of trust in Americans' instincts or ability to take complex issues and hear about them honestly. Right. But I imagine their conversations were very frank

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You wrote the book with a quill pen?

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Do you consider yourself a method writer? Is that what this is? That's exactly it. I love that phrase. Thank you. So you did. So it was a quill pen. And is there something about using the quill that is more deliberate and allows you to think differently?

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Can you imagine with the, you know, all men are created equal, LOL.

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And they even they baked it into the cake as far as they they really thought amendments will be necessary. This has to be a document that can change with the consent of the governed. Exactly.

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Actually, there's one reason I can think of that that wouldn't really be a good idea. Too late.

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Yeah, but the founders established judiciary. Now, just to abolish it because you don't agree with it, that seems... What?

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That's a fascinating document. I'm sure we'll stand the test of time. But it's hard to take arguments for changing the Constitution seriously when some of those same people that you're showing normally talking about how the Constitution is sacrosanct.

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See, that's the whole thing. They talk about the sacrosanct nature of the Constitution when they like what it says, then suddenly they say, hey, that's not what the founders meant. They don't want to do that. They want to pick and choose the parts of the Constitution that they want. That's the problem with this original intent business.

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We have the founders' words, but no one really knows what they were thinking, and they're not monolithic to begin with. No one, John?

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What's that?

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John, in the unlikely event that a powdered, wig-wearing skull doesn't provide the guidance we need, what then?

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Talking about the Constitution when it suits them, the Bible when it suits them. It makes it sound like the Constitution is an amendment now to the Bible.

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And what about separation of church and state, which is in the Constitution? What's that, Mr. President? Excuse me?

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Thank you very much. John Hodgman, everybody. We'll be right back.

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The National... The national immigration debate is more contentious than ever, with growing fears of these anchor babies we talked about earlier. Terror babies. Muppet babies coming to our shores. By the way, you should check out the new Muppet character, Anchor Me Terror Baby. Adorably destructive to our country.

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The trouble stems from the Constitution itself, specifically the 14th Amendment's promise of birthright citizenship.

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Welcome back. As you know, America is like a boy band. Yes. That is the premise we are starting with. Each of our 50 states has a distinct personality. We've got the cute one. We've got the rebel, rides a Harley with no helmet. We've got the one that pretty sure has a drug problem. But the thing about these states' reputations is they're hard to change.

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It makes you feel bad for someplace like Mississippi, which every time it opens its mouth, you know, because of its reputation, you're like, please don't say the N-word, please don't say the N-word, please don't say the N-word. Why has that state had such a tough time shaking its rep for bad race relations?

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Hello!

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Greetings and salutations. My name is Jon Stewart. And given the times, I'm obviously neither Jewish nor on television. Our top story this day in 1865 is that the state of Georgia has voted to ratify. We had over the shoulders in 1865? The state of Georgia has voted to ratify the 13th Amendment. Oh, delightful.

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Being the 27th state to so vote, the amendment is nationally adopted and slavery is abolished in these United States. Oh, bully. Of course, there still remain a few stragglers who've yet to ratify the amendment. I'm looking at you, Magnolia State. I mean, those square liters in Georgia ratified it. How much longer are you going to wait?

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148 years? I mean, that'd be ridiculous, wouldn't it? After 148 years, the state of Mississippi has finally ratified the 13th Amendment.

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And... And that's why... That was unpleasant. But that's why Mississippi can't check its rep for bad race relations. So Mississippi, two things on the recent ratification. First, better late than never. And second, this is pretty late. Why the sudden ratification?

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Sobering reality check. And the hope part?

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Let's begin with a big story. Last night, President Barack Obama's not State of the Union address. Yes, the President's first speech to a joint session of Congress after being sworn in is not technically a State of the Union address, which is nice because this is probably one year you do not want to complete the sentence, the State of the Union is.

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Hope, there you go. Nice agenda.

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Okay, easy there, fella. Let's just... Let's keep our feet on the ground here. Let's just... Cure for cancer in our time. What are you, a wizard? Slow down!

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Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. By 2010, we'll have Cinnabons that make you skinnier. 2012, we'll have a boner pill that gives you a four-hour erection that you don't have to notify your doctor about. Now get out of here, Zuzu. What makes you think this in any way, shape, or form, Mr. President, could happen? This is America.

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Have you met America? Have you been to America? We don't do what's easy. Do you know what e pluribus unum means? Easy and unnecessary. We're the people who invented the Roomba because the other automatic machine we invented to clean the floor made you do this. This was too much. This is a popular exercise in our country. We invented this. This is real. It's called Bacon A's.

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It's bacon combined with mayonnaise. For people who want heart disease but are too lazy to actually make the bacon. So in your little plan there, if you're wondering whether to go with necessary or easy,

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That is good news for taxpayers and bad news for Armando's house of fancily draped private jets. You'd think Armando would put a shirt on in the private jet business, but apparently not. Now, with Obama's speech still ringing in America's ears, it was time for the Republican response. Luckily, they had just the man for the job.

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But although times are tough, it's still important to make an entrance.

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Ooh, all right. Big Republican rising star, the GOP's very own Shia LaBeouf.

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WHAT WAS THAT? WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE? That's right. I saw that in my childhood. But of course, this is the governor of Louisiana. He's not going to talk to us like some besweatered friend of the trolley people.

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Can we have candy for dinner? I believe that I can do anything. I want to be an astronaut that kills and eats firemen.

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Oh, yeah! Here he comes. How you doing there, brother? Nice to see you, Chip. Nice tie. Oh, damn. What's up, Holmes? Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, it's you. Oh, I see you. Looks like we made it. Left each other on the way.

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Bacon-ays! America can do anything, and I mean anything. Like say, I don't know, the same great taste of bacon and mayonnaise in a bacon-aise light. They actually make a bacon-aise light. Half the fat. It is unbelievable. You know how I like to have bacon-aise light? And I really, I can't resist it. I like to have it with a pancake wrapped in a sausage on a stick.

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I choose the blueberry pancake on the sausage on a steak because I'm kind of a health nut. But that's what I like to do. I like to... No, don't make... May I say something to the makers of Bacon A's? I know we've mentioned your product a lot on the show tonight. Don't send us any more of it. I can't even believe it. I think my tongue just took a sh**. Jindal's task was not an easy one.

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So because a Republican administration screwed the pooch, a Democratic administration shouldn't even try? What other lessons did Katrina teach you?

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So your other lesson from Katrina is what good could possibly come from monitoring for potential natural disasters? Who cares about lava? That's like a levee over topping. It'll never happen.

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Actually, Hillary had given Obama a heads up that she'd be the one wearing the retina-searing coat. Although Obama was greeted warmly, the night's speech was no small task.

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Obama's challenge would be to convey to the American public the sobering realities of our current situation while maintaining an optimistic tone for the future, all while desperately, desperately, desperately trying not to turn around for a quick game of whack-a-mole. Interesting fact about Nancy Pelosi, she is one-eighth gopher on her father's side.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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Wow, that's a great question, and I really thought you were going to end it with, what's a book? Because you get that a lot from the kids now. Sir, I have a question. What's a book? And I was going to say, it's like a movie. You flip. I would say, so... this may sound antiquated, I was, I feel like I was raised on Kurt Vonnegut.

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Well, I hope we don't die quickly and stay. And you're here, and we're making TV for you tonight. Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm your host, Jon Stewart, captain of this dying medium. Why would you even say that to me? What did a gentleman tell me tonight? He said, oh, I'm so happy to be here. You know your television is dying. I said, I am aware. And in fact, I'm contributing to it.

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And so any Kurt Vonnegut, I had the whole from Player Piano to Breakfast of Champions to Slaughterhouse-Five to, you know, all of them. And he was my favorite author by far. And I felt like he educated me in the genre of Optimistic, cynical humanism. Like the thing that you're talking about, how do you maintain? So he's a guy who was an author who came of age. He fought in World War II.

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He saw Dresden. That's what Slaughterhouse-Five was about. It was about his experiences seeing the worst that people could do and people always mistook his cynicism as or his, I guess I should say, his dryness as cynicism, but it was really idealism. He believed so much in people that he couldn't help but be somewhat disappointed that we were blowing it in the way that we were blowing it.

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But I would say line your desk with Kurt Vonnegut and you cannot go wrong and I was lucky enough to get to interview him when he hadn't passed away yet. No, but he came on. And when he passed away, his son sent me, he was also a really wonderful caricaturist, sent me a doodle of his that he had inscribed to me before he passed. So it's one of my most cherished.

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But I would say Kurt Vonnegut, you can't go wrong. And like Playboy.

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Right. How old are you? I'm 19. 19 years old and the world's already beat the shit out of you. It's always the young dudes that are like, I have a quick question. I'm 19 years old. When hope is gone. When the darkness slowly creeps down. I'm 61. So I'm already in injury time. Like, so I'm good. I'm actually weirdly always optimistic. I think maybe that is the horizon of history.

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I came up at a time in the 60s where we had all these great leaders, and we killed all of them, every single one. And then we went to Vietnam and law, and then Watergate. Like, shit was just unraveling. So I do think it gives you a sense of, oh, it's always a mess. And what that makes you realize is, oh, so it's just, that's the game.

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We buckle down, you got to lunch pail it, and you carry through. Like, you're 19. Like, you'll someday, when you're 61, and people will be saying, like, how do you maintain optimism? You'll be like, you have no fucking idea what it was like when I was a kid. Like, you will be that guy to be able to say, like, you think it's bad now? And obviously, look, it is. These are tenuous times.

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And maybe even we'll talk a little bit about that on the program tonight. Terrible times. No, but... Because part of the issue is you just want someone to talk to you like you're a human, like you're an adult, not like it's a work, not like they're spinning you or any of those. That's my biggest complaint with all of this. Nobody expects perfection. Everybody knows perfection.

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that the obstacles and all the things that are going to be thrown in front of us are going to be arduous. That's life. Like, life is hard, you know? But you just want someone to not bullshit you when what you know you see in here is what you see. Like, that's all that you can really do. But how do you maintain? So you're 19.

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So are your friends optimistic or pessimistic, or do they not talk about it, or are they just on Discord being racist? What is going on? Yes.

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So here's the only thing I would say. I'm glad you do that. But really, we write it for eight-year-olds. So 19 is a little above our pay grade. But is it, I do remember 19, like that age, there is a certain existential anxiety that creeps in because the world does, listen, it feels out of control. You probably know more about it now

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You're welcome.

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than we did when we I think one of the things that's probably harder for kids now is you are the amount of information that you absorb is probably but I would imagine hopefully your brains will evolve to you know because when I was a kid like TV happened and everybody's like that will don't sit in front of the TV and eat and just watch TV and now you'd be so happy if your children would do that like you just be like don't send pictures of your dick to people like

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You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.

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Oh, most profound interview. Well, so I've interviewed people like literal dictators, like people that have killed people like Pervez, I don't know if you remember, Pervez Musharraf was the leader of Pakistan, and this was post 9-11. So, and Al-Qaeda had been threatening him with an assassination.

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Now, I've had great, like Malala Yousafzai and Bishop Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter, like people of pure goodness. Like you just, they vibrate on a different plane of kindness and goodness than most people. And you can feel it on them. And then you have dictators. slightly different vibe.

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So Pervez Musharraf, it was only memorable because, so he was at the time the president of Pakistan and he was under assassination threat. He'd just written a book and it was his autobiography, I think. And so he came here to the show to promote it. And that day we had snipers on the roof. We had AK-47s in the hallway, guys marching. We had bomb dogs.

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We had, I mean, it was a level of security that I had never seen before. And I realized, like, this man is risking his life to tell his story on this show. I should have read the book. That's what I remember thinking. I thought, oh, shit. I feel terrible now. Here's this guy's... He could die, and I'm just gonna be like, so... is Pakistan hot? Like, I didn't know shit.

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So the crazy part was, even with all that security layer, in the studio, they put a Kevlar front on the desk. This was no bullshit. Many of you are younger, so you don't remember. After 9-11, we all lost our minds. safety-wise.

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So they put a Kevlar front on the Daily Show desk, and I'm in there, and I'm looking at it, and I say, because there are Secret Service agents from both countries, America and Pakistan, in the room. And I go, tell me about this. What's going on? And they said, well, if somebody manages to get through any kind of security issues and tries to assassinate President Musharraf, we will jump

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I see no problem with it. Why would you? It seems great. Is that true? I mean, I don't know because obviously.

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and push him down below the Kevlar to protect him from the bullets. And I said, you know, funny thing is, I'm also, you know, because, you know, I understand. He'll be there and then I'll be sitting there. What should I do? Without missing a beat, a New York City cop walked by and he goes, you fucking duck. Oh, dear God. These are one of those that are always rough.

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It's always like, I was six years old. You would come on. My paw and I. I'm just so curious.

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On the MTV program?

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You watched that show? Because it was like, I think the guests, the first guest on the MTV show, the premiere episode. Now this is, so I should explain something because there's younger people in the audience. MTV was a cultural force.

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uh in like the 70s no in the 80s i guess it started right with uh video killed the radio so are the buggles and then from there it was really cool and then uh i don't know what the happened to it but uh my first guest was howard stern was the first guest and he came on and he said uh you suck the set looks ridiculous you'll be cancelled in six weeks and i just sat there like don't say that uh but

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You know, it was such a different kind of show. I think the two guests on that first show, it was Howard Stern, a boy that ate cheese into the shape of states. Who was referred to in all the production documents as Cheese Boy. The crazy part is Cheese Boy is probably like 50 now. Cheese Boy is an ophthalmologist. But we had so much fun. But it was such a different ethos.

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Don't, what? No, don't, sir. Well, let me ask you a question. In your mind, seeing as I work in television, Will I die first? Because if that's the case, I don't mind. But don't you still watch TV, but you just watch it on your computer?

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And then we went to, I was hired to replace Arsenio, which makes total sense. And so you can imagine how that went. And then that got canceled. And I remember the last two weeks of that show were just chaos. Like, it's good that they took us off the air, because someone was going to die. Marilyn Manson was on the show. He lit a fire during his performance.

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An actor smashed a mug and cut his hand wide open. And the final one was there was an act called the Birdman of Vegas. And the Birdman of Vegas had a condor act. I don't know if you've ever been around condors. They're gigantic. They were probably like, they're my size. Not that I'm gigantic. But in the bird world, I'd be badass.

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If I woke up on a pigeon, the pigeon would be like, hmm, I don't want any problems. But the bird, there's like six feet tall. So he's doing the bit, and the bit is, his assistant is there, and the condor will fly from his arm to the other arm. And it's a giant bird with a wingspan of 12 feet, and it flies over. But the bird apparently wasn't... going to do that that day.

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Instead, what it did is it flew into the audience. And so a giant condor just started pecking the shit. And then the audience starts chanting, sue them, sue them. And I'm just like, I'm... And we were like canceled. We were already canceled. I was just like, I will let the birds kill everyone. I don't give a... But that was the experience there.

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So if you say like, would you have done anything differently? I'd be like, I guess I would have made sure the condors were leashed.

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How happy am I to be back tonight? You know, I don't know if any of you have ever had to slog it out one day a week like this. It is...

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You know, I don't know what you guys do, and listen, this is not to disrespect your work ethic or any of the things that you are, but, you know, it was around three o'clock today, three o'clock in the afternoon, and I remember turning and looking at somebody and saying, I just don't know how much longer I can do this. You know, because he was almost four.

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No, it's been, I have to say it's been lovely. You know, I have been in hibernation for a few years with my family and I would never give that back. Like it was, it's been wonderful. And COVID played very much into my social leanings in terms of reclusiveness. So once a week is about right for me with people and for people with me. The best piece of advice.

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Wow, that is such an end-of-life question. That really is. Nobody ever comes to like a 22-year-old and like, best advice. And they're like, well, beer on liquor, never been sicker. All right. The best advice. I'm trying to think of good advice. I don't really... I don't seek counsel in that way. I didn't have a mentor. This was back in late 70s, early 80s, so there were no mentors.

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I was raised feral. So I don't have a ton of advice. Oh, here's one. This is a good one. So I used to host a show on MTV. It was a talk show. And then it got bought by Paramount to replace Arsenio. So I was the natural replacement for Arsenio. Because I think a lot of people are like, hey, the hip African-American guy, let's stick a maybe small Jew in his place. and see what happens.

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Right, but you understand that that's still TV. It's just you're watching it in a different delivery service. It's like heroin is heroin, whether you snort it or shoot it. It's still an opiate for the masses, as is television. You're just getting it in smaller bites. But it's still TV. We make it. You have to look on your face like, this poor boy. if he only knew the business he was in.

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TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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And so the show was on for like nine months and it got canceled. And we were all very sad. And when your name is on it and they tell you to get out of the building, like it's very hurtful. David Letterman came on the final show. And on the final show, he said to me, don't confuse cancellation with failure. And I thought that was really interesting.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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And then in the commercial break, he said, although this is also a failure. He just didn't want me to confuse it. No, you're good.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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Oh, you got so many. We're going to ruin this so much. You have no idea what we've got planned. You are walking into Thunderdome. No, honestly, we do this all the time. Every generation, even the greatest generation, I mean, they dropped atomic bombs on people.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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We always think that the world is at its worst in the moment that we're in it, but you have to remain optimistic because the images that they present to us are to heighten your fear. That's how they make their, oh, you're gonna love the show tonight, I think. You're going to love this show. But so what are you thinking?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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Oh, it so matters. Yeah. In fact, your voice is. Can I tell you something about advertisers? Do you know that advertisers, they look at different demographics? But the largest demographic that they look at is 18 to 24. That's the one that means everything to them. Use that power, the power of the person. I'm 61. I'm not even listed anymore.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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Like literally companies would be like, what about people over 55? And they're like, I think they might be dead. Like don't discount the power that you guys have. You have a tremendous amount. I would think on Instagram. I would tell them on Instagram. This is the fight, man. No generation ever feels empowered or seen or any of those things.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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But what I would suggest is trust your discomfort because you clearly feel it. But discomfort is a wonderful motivator. It's sort of the difference between stress and anxiety. Action is the antidote to anxiety. And if you feel anxiety, it will lessen as you take action. Small actions, like a little bit every day. You know, I have young people that live in my house.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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And I usually see them after three when they've woken up. And generally, they just want me to make them a bagel. So it's different. But honestly, like, that discomfort will spur you on. I'm sure of it. And your generation. And then you'll be in a position to save us, but you won't want to. You had a question about college campuses?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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OK, so the cafeteria, if you want to go by the quad, you're going to look for the quad. Usually the food is near the quad.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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Listen, the beautiful thing about college is that it's built for that. It's built for you to push the limits of who you think you are and who you think you want to be. And it's a wonderful experience. The thing that I would say to you is,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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have the courage in the internal barometer that you've developed over the years for yourself about right and wrong, and don't necessarily just allow the conditions that you find yourself in to shape that. you're here for a reason, and you're that way for a reason, and be strong in that, and learn, be open to people, but be convicted.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 After the Cut

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It's, you know, I think it's a wonderful experience for kids, and I don't worry about, you know, Gen Z, they're so f***ing, shut the f*** up. You know, it's, every generation is like, that generation sucks. We were awesome, and I'm like, meh. I know my generation, like, we were doing whippets in 11th grade, like,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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You're listening to Comedy Central. Donald J. Trump, the 45th president of the United States, a man whose licentious and felonious behavior has been well cataloged and documented, returned to the capital rotunda just four short years after inspiring, in that very place, a day of riotous shick f***. return to the exact same room.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Ah! Trump has ushered in the purge! I, for one, will take full advantage by doing some unpermitted lawn work. Your God is powerless. Although, just in case I'm misinterpreting, what is this purge about exactly?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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And so, ladies and gentlemen, the torch has been passed from Biden to Trump. Yes, the torch has been passed to the same generation of Americans. Let's hear from the 47th president, fresh off the warm embrace of a tea ceremony with his predecessor.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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He got rid of 17 inspectors general. That only leaves no one knows how many left. I have no idea. Oh, I'm sorry, did I break the illusion? You don't know if that's the axe or my desk. Which one is fake? I'll never tell. The point is, we have 17 less inspectors general. Who knows how many generals will now go uninspected. Democrats, inspire my anger in the least charismatic way possible.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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He started again, right? He said it twice? Like, no recognition, just started again. Is that what happened? Normally, humans in that scenario would go, oh, God, I'm sorry. Where was I? Let me take that from the top, and maybe this time I'll look up. Can you legally just restart without acknowledgement? Is Schumer AI? Is he deep seek?

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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But regardless of how slowly NPC Chuck Schumer laid it out, what Trump did violated the law.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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What's the purge? What's the... Why do I have an ax?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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What? I'm sorry, what? Oh, apparently you can fire them, but you have to give them 30 days notice. Oh, so that's what we're upset about? No! You can do it, but not in that font! What? That's Hitler's font! But this is the cycle we find ourselves in. First law of Trumpodynamics. Every action is met with a very not equal overreaction.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Thus throwing off our ability to know when shit is actually getting real. Like last week's pardons. These pardons are sick.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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I knew I should have taken that class. And not majored in submissive liberal crying 101. Do what you will, Trumpieski. Was it shitty? Yes. Should you have let some of those terrible people... No! No! Is it an abuse of pardon power? I don't f***ing know. But that is his constitutional power. Again, for some reason, we have given presidents the power of a king.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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And then we say, oh, by the way, with that power, you're not going to get all like kingly and shit on us, right? To put that in constitutional terms, if I could, don't hate the player. Hate the founding fathers. That's not... Why do we even have it? Because I don't know if you've met Donald Trump. He pushes shit.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Shredding our Constitution. He wants to be a strongman authoritarian. Birthright citizenship was very specifically tailored to send a message to people that America was a place, an idea. It wasn't for one race. It wasn't for one gender. Citizenship in America was based on where you were, not who you were. And to just stroke of a pen, finally I agree. That is authoritarian.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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See how easy that was? It was a dictatorship, and then the judge went... It's like when you have an electric fence. You never check it, and you're not really sure if it works. Because you have a good boy. You have a very good boy. But then one day, zap! By the way, I fundamentally disagree with the use of electric fences. It is true.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Really tearing through the bowl tonight, huh? Take a breath, Tubbs. It's called kibble, not gobble. By the way, my dog's name is Tubbs. Anyway, birthright citizenship is back!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Damn you, constitutionally enshrined judicial review of executive action and its relief through the appellate process. Look, we are facing a deluge of these executive actions. And certainly we must be prepared for those most vulnerable to the consequences of these actions. But the this is all fascist argument has become almost a reflex for the left.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Yes, the inaugural speech followed the American tradition of a passive-aggressive transfer of power. The incoming president gets to completely shit on the outgoing president in front of that president and hopefully his spouse.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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scale of Mussolini to the Holocaust. You know, I would say it's not fascism. Do I not understand what fascism is? And also, if I may, and this may be petty, why are we asking someone who, at the end of January, still has his f***ing Christmas tree up? Why are we asking him anything?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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This is a tumultuous time in American history filled with much uncertainty and trepidation. But it is very difficult for me to not in any way take the bait of the way he said, dick line. It really did sound like he said, our dick line. Like, the line of our dick. So you can see America's dick line? I mean, how are you going to end our dick line? With a tuck or a full reassignment?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Or is this more about Fetterman's shorts? What about our dick line? I am a child. But as bad as things were, guess what, folks? Daddy's home. It's about to get a whole lot better.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Ooh, I think I just saw J.D. Vance's dick line. Drill, baby, drill. But for all the day's eerie energy, one thing stood out to America's watchdogs of democracy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Here's, and I'm going to drop some knowledge here. No one really cared about the game because of the earth-shattering announcement that had been made moments prior.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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First of all, why do you fly around in a Hyatt hotel room? Second of all, define proclamation? You don't know what a proclamation... Or do you just want her to say what the actual proclamation... I'm sorry, I interrupted. Go ahead.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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It's true. Bigger than the Super Bowl. In fact, my favorite thing about Gulf of America Day are the commercials. It's very historic. I'm sure we'll look back on this day fondly when America is swallowed up by the rising waters of the Gulf of America. You know, it turns out it's kind of a weird thing. Airplanes might not be the best place to make bigger than the Super Bowl announcements.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Now, generally, if this were a Dateline documentary, he would return to that room to express a form of repentance and maturity and acknowledgement of the pain that had been wrought on that terrible day. But in this show that we're filming now, it's to be sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. And as with most returning to the scene of the crime,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Even bigger than the Super Bowl.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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First of all, oh, my God. It shut him up, even for just a second. I think airplane pilots must be the most powerful force in the universe. I feel like the Democrats have to get themselves an airplane pilot. Sorry for the interruption, but you can't do that. Maybe they'll let Schumer. Schumer will be the pilot. But forgive me, I seem to have forgotten. What does calling it Gulf of America do?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Do we get all its fish now?

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Everything Trump does is all part of making America great again. Order one! Roll back everything from the previous not great administration. Regulations on the environment. Regulations on the Second Amendment. The Title IX guidance. And not just the big shit. YOU WANT TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, YOU CAN'T SKIMP ON THE DETAILS.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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OKAY, HE'S RIGHT ON THIS ONE. HE IS RIGHT ON THIS ONE. Objectively, I'm supposed to have some weird tissue paper dissolve in my mouth just because turtles can't figure out straws aren't food? No. Don't eat the tubes, you stupid turtles. So Trump is making America great again by taking us back to 2016. But obviously, if we're going to make America great again, we can't stop in 2016.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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We've got to keep pushing to that place when America was truly great.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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So, looks like it's the 70s. Oh, like you don't know who Burt Reynolds is. If you're going to make us great, you're going to have to roll further back than the 70s. What do you got? We're going to stop the destructive and divisive diversity, equity and inclusion. Yeah, the 70s won't fly. 70s was all about women's lib and Stonewall. Now, my friends, we got to go back further to make America great.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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It's just another day. It's all just normal transfer power shit. We're just gonna play along like all this theater is normal. Oh, except there was one thing that might have given the game away.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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And ladies, when we do go back, don't worry. It's all going to work out for you.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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But, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna go back to the old days with regular tits. Not the ones that disgustingly dissolve in your mouth.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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But let's not stop in the 70s there, folks. Not even in the... Let's keep going. Because that sounds like the 50s, and the 50s are still too inclusive. I mean, by then, Italians and Irish were considered white. No, that's too far. Keep going back. America's greatness awaits.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Okay. There we go. 1870s. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And of course, while America presently is still pretty f***ing rich, apologies, Luxembourg. Point taken. Who wouldn't trade our current environment for America's 1870s tariff-driven, becandled, tuberculosis-laden, pre-industrial heyday? We were so wealthy, we had commissions set up. What to do with all the money that we were taking in?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Quick point of order, though. To the extent that we were at our richest from 1870 to 1913, it wasn't so much we as, like, four guys. And we called them robber barons. As a sign of affection. Meanwhile, the rest of America, the leading cause of death was falling into a vat at work.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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And it got to the point where even the robber barons realized that the only way this glorious era in American history was going to end was either full-scale f***ing revolution or reasonable compromise, which is how we ended up with stuff like income tax and labor laws and workplace safety guarantees. So let's really tread carefully in the greatness way back machine.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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You were picking berries in a field before your bar mitzvah? I mean... By the way, how old are you if you were picking berries before there were child labor laws? Because you look great. Is the key to good skin working the fields as a child? Now, I hate to bring this up, but if we are going back to the 1870s and before... Does that include every diversity initiative?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Don't bring us your tired and poor huddled masses. Do you have any mathletes? Any doogies, Hauser? We will take all of your Sheldons, young and old.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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For those of you at home who might fear that the president's desire to take us back to our nation's historic greatness may tread into unconstitutional action, fear not, because the brilliant design of our nation allows for the co-equal branch of the judiciary to stand as a bulwark against tyranny, as judged in the landmark decision of 1803 Marbury v. Madison, which, as you know, is when James Madison lost the historic Supreme Court case to Stéphane Marbury.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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First of all, Biden, you're at the inauguration. Did you auto-schedule your pardons? And second of all, what the f***, man? You're just pardoning your whole family? It's not a great look. Yeah, like any good captain, as the ship is going down, Biden gave the order, that lifeboat is for my family! The rest of you can do just like a kind of Jack and Rose thing.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Marbury ran him out of the building and established our foundational separation of powers.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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Of course they're allowed to adjudicate the boundaries of that power. That's the whole f***ing point of the judiciary, to interpret whether those powers are legitimate. You went to law school, mother f***er. The alternative is that... Acting. The only alternative is that the executive determines for himself what is constitutional. AT WHICH POINT THERE WOULD BE NO GUARD RAILS AGAINST... OH.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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HEY, CONGRESS. HEY, BUDDY. YOU GOT A LITTLE SEPARATION OF POWERS PROBLEM. I WAS WONDERING ANY CHANCE YOU MIGHT BE REASSERTING YOUR AUTHORITY. OPPOSITION PARTY. DEMOCRATS, YOU READY TO DO SOME OPPOSITIONING?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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THAT'S THE SALES PITCH. WE JUST NEED SOMEONE ON THEIR SIDE WILLING TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR PROGRESS LIKE A RUSSIAN DOG BEING SHOT INTO SPACE. YOU CAN SEE THE DEMOCRATS' BACKBONE ON OUR NEW SHOW,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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One on, one off, 50-50 shot, who gives a shit? Biden outie. So the takeaway this entire day was, a man who tried to overthrow the government has been peacefully handed the reins of power, and the outgoing president has started a new tradition of blanket pardoning everyone in his orbit. The two men creating a magnificent snake-sucking-its-own-dick cycle of no accountability.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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And then, of course, we end with the grand finale. The attack on Greenland has begun!

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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It began with tea with the people you tried to steal it from.

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Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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It's always important to keep up the tea tradition when you hand over the keys to, I'm sorry, what did you call them? Hitler. But gotta be a good host. Hey, the Wi-Fi password is White House, but I changed the I to a one. I hope that's not weird.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Recapping Trump's Second First 100 Days - Part 1

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I'm not saying Biden should have done his own insurrection, but there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and would you like a crumpet? Then it was time for the swearing in on the kind of on the Bible. Yes, it turns out Trump didn't actually put his hand on the Bible. Obviously, because one or the other would burst into flames. Perhaps both.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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There are over a million species of animals on this earth here. Here to show us a few of the more exotic ones, our own zoological expert, Steve Crocodile Carell. This will be fun. This will be great. This will be great. Uh, Crocodile Carell. How you doing? I'm doing well. I didn't know that you had a nickname.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Crocodile. I'd never heard that before. I didn't know that was your nickname.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Is there something I should do? Should I get out of the way? Should I?

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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I'm excited about this.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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I actually, I'm noticing something else. It's a superb specimen. Are there others? Exotically, that might... I mean, unless you have some other information about this wild beast.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Look at that. Kind of thing you'd maybe win at Coney Island.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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It's not. I had it appraised. Well, do you have anything else? Anything exotic, perhaps?

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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You know what, Steve? I'm sorry. That's the same dog that you had before. That's where the batteries go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Steve Carell, ladies and gentlemen.

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TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Carell. I have to tell you, Steve, to me, this story continues to be remarkable, but somewhat frightening.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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No, no, we have 16-foot lizard aliens eating children that have been sold into captivity by Bob Hope, so... No, well, John, if you had been listening, the lizards are only 12 feet tall.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2

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Well, 12-foot lizards, 16-foot lizards, whatever. You know, the other thing is... Bob Hope is one of the most beloved institutions in America, so you should consider that as well. Really?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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All right, so Pakistan, France, and Germany might have a few tiny reasons to be mad at us. We can cut back from this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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So what are you guys saying? We have a problem? We're somehow addicted to paranoid snooping on everyone and everything around us? How dare you? I am so offended. I bid you good day. But as a parting gift, if I could just leave this right here. It's an innocuous toaster. Don't use it. Just when you're saying things, if you could make toast, we would, rest of the world, meet me at camera three.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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So you guys are all upset we're spying on you and drone striking you and you're really upset. But I just have one question. Have you met us? Meddling in your affairs for our national self-interest is kind of our thing. What part of everything we've done since the Monroe Doctrine don't you get? I mean, bugging your phone's pretty weak tea for us.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Do you know how much cigar shrapnel Castro is still pulling out of his ass? Besides, it makes you feel any better. Our government isn't doing anything to you that they're not doing to us. See? Right there. Boom. Boom. They're spying. Get this. They're spying on our studio. And I'm literally saying that into a camera that is going to broadcast. It seems kind of redundant. I don't even know.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Okay, I didn't even know about that one. Did not know about that one. So look, world, you want an apology? Fine. We're sorry that you forgot that we are kind of dicks. But you know what? All nations act in their own self-interest. Don't act like your don't stink. It does. And we know because we have a super secret program that goes through your .

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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A strong message to send. But the Iraqi government owes us. I mean, they owe their life to us. Certainly, the president's message will be delivered. Here's Ahmadinejad getting off the plane. Obviously, they're going to hit him. No sugarcoating, just direct and stern. Listen, mother----. Wait, what? Okay. There appears to be kissing. All right, now here's where they execute him.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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By the way, Germany might want to ease up on the everything you eat and drink. France, you don't like our hubris now? You sure liked it when we were handing off the Vietnam War to us. Hey, can you guys hold this war for us for just a little bit? We just got something to do over in Algeria. And Pakistan, we know that some of those drone strikes were at your request.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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And by the way, when were you going to tell us that bin Laden was crashing on your couch? And you, Germany, yeah, you. Do I really have to justify myself to a country that invaded Poland because they thought Poland was looking at them funny? So get over it. Or better yet, turn that frown upside down. Don't think of us as an overly aggressive, paranoid superpower.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Think of us as what anyone's looking for in a partner. A good listener. A great listener. The best listener in the history of the world. So before you say thank you, I would only ask one thing. Can you say it a little closer to that toaster? We'll be right back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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No, he's being greeted by a child with flowers. Okay. A red carpet and a child with flowers. Okay. Okay. To the untrained eye, that may appear to be gracious. Maybe even a warm welcome. But I do want to point out that that little girl gave him chrysanthemums. And everyone knows he's an orchid guy, so that's a bit of f*** you. Okay, that's a nice reception there.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Let's compare that to what happens when our president visits. He has to arrive unannounced under cover of night. Is it me or did Al Qaeda blow up the sun? What? It's just nighttime? Phew. I say phew out loud. Phew. Not a lot of people read that. Phew.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Not only did Ahmadinejad announce his arrival in advance, but he was able to drive the infamous airport road that our people can only chopper over, walk flak jacketless outside the green zone, and visit some of Iraq's holiest sites, which we are not allowed into. Hey, Iraq, can we... What are you doing? It's your old buddy, U.S.,

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Maybe we didn't make this clear, but we think the guy from Iran is a bit of an Ahmad-dick-in-a-jod. And we're out there all day with the surging, and you're back there sharing sweetbreads with Johnny Leisurecoat? Did you think we wouldn't find out? I don't want to say anything, but one phone call and you get this. That's right! We can put those statues right back where we found them, mister.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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After we built you an entire green zone, we could have gone with any color, but you wanted green. We wanted lavender, but no. It would be nice. when our sworn enemy visits your country, that you give him a slightly tougher reception than the one he gets at Columbia University.

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TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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You know, it's things like this invasion clearly strengthening the hand of the person our president believes is the greatest threat to the world's security that makes me think maybe this whole thing was a mistake.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

313.737

For those of us invested in the U.S. economy who aren't able to consistently avail ourselves of the urgent contradictory mumblings of the CNBC oracles, times have been tough. We're down in the dumps, feeling like perhaps this time there'll be no rabbit to pull out of the hat. And perhaps America's time is over. But you know who's hearing none of that talk?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Now, whoever our next president may be will face many challenges, especially in the foreign policy arena, the greatest of which may be how to deal with the overwhelming volume of goodwill left over from still-President Bush's, let's call it, two-term democracy-spreading jamboree.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Our best pal, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown!

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Now get out of bed, slugger, and go out there and invade the subcontinent. How must we be When Britain is trying to cheer us up, that place gets like two hours of sunshine a year. It's like a coffee-less Seattle. Not that we don't appreciate the effort. Clearly Brown likes Obama. But what type of relationship will they have? Will they be unlikely partners like Bush and Blair?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Inspirational allies like Roosevelt and Churchill? Or will they have more of a cool black guy, white nerd vibe to them? Like Hitch. Or Silver Street.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Gordon Brown's not going to be copying Obama. Or is he trying to horn in on Obama's mojo?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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What are you, a Barack Obama cover band? Gordon Hopefoot and the Yes We Can Five? But in this buddy comedy, it was the white guy who taught the black guy something. Prime Minister Gordon Brown showed up to Washington like any decent house guest, bearing gifts.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Brown brought Obama a pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship, the HMS Gannet, which is the sister ship of the HMS Resolute, from which the Oval Office desk is carved. That is a fantastic gift.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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thoughtful, unique, entrenched with layers of deep meaning that connect Barack Obama's ancestral past to the lineage of the presidency, interwoven with the centuries-old special relationship between the United States and Britain. It is a gift wrapped inside a present, stuffed inside a thoughtful gesture. It is a hallmark turducken.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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You gave the guy a DVD box set? Guys are visiting head of state, not a PBS donor. You live in the White House. It's a museum. Give him some from your new house. Harding's chair, the Eisenhower spittoon, the Taft toilet desk. More of a necessity than a luxury. He couldn't move very fast. Of course, the UK is just the tip of the Obama world reconciliation plan.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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We're also trying to reconnect with Russia. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had a meet and greet with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov. I wanted to present you with a little gift. Please don't be DVDs. Please don't be DVDs. Please don't be DVDs.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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To examine the bounty one of these lucky contenders will be reaping, we check in with our new segment, Fruits of Democracy! Tonight, our latest Democratic offspring, Iraq. Did you know our baby turns five this month? And you're not going to believe this, she's already having play dates.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Oh, and one more thing. Putin's father was killed by a red button. Other than that... So, did the button work to reset our relationship with Russia?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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We'll be right back.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Our top story, new reports that could make our already icy relationship with the country of Pakistan colder than a witch's frozen dessert treats. Ticked.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Oh, I'm sorry, Pakistan. I didn't know you didn't like your citizens being sky-sassinated on the whims of a foreign superpower. We thought you were cool. I guess it's unfortunate. But the good thing is I guess we can just lay low for a while and then just get back in touch with Pakistan when the wounds aren't so fresh, you know?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Boy, that's the sort of meeting when you really need old Bo in the room, you know what I mean? Just to have something else to talk about. Like, yeah, I know those drone strikes are f***ed up. Hey, look, he loves that bone, though. He really loves going for that bone. Oh, look at that. He's licking his own ass. What were we talking about? I'll tell you who Obama wishes he was right now.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Secretary of State Kerry. Because when this went down, Kerry had the good luck to be visiting our ally, France. Kerry's timing could not have been better.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad became the first Middle Eastern leader to visit Iraq since Saddam Hussein fell. Of, let's say, natural causes. Now, obviously, a visit from the Iranian leader to Iraq prompts some concern. And still, President Bush has a clear message he'd like the Iraqis to deliver to Ahmadinejad.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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Oh, what'd we do, France, to cause a controversy? What'd we drink out of the bidet again? What happened? Did we call sparkling wine champagne again? We know the difference. We just don't give a ****. Did we make a mockery of your most cherished athletic event by having an American win it seven times in a row through a sophisticated blood doping scheme? That last one we did do, actually.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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Is that what it is?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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Oh, that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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This ambassador knows what I'm talking about! Actually, that's not really what he said. This is really what he said.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | International Diplomacy

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By reviewing the way we gather intelligence, we mean from now on, we're going to try and do it secretly. In our defense, though, our monitoring 70 million French conversations wasn't espionage. It's just French phone calls are all so hot. It's like a nationwide sex line. Even French people talking about their mortgage payments.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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It's all like, oh, monsieur, when can we... Oh, the 2.5% APR, my loans, they pay for your deposit. Your other bank, you must never tell her. And by the way, all right, we're spying on France. Not like we're spying on our other allies.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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Ladies and gentlemen, my impression of how that phone call went. Hey, how are you, Angela? What do you mean? You know how I am. Although it is impressive that we managed to put a tap on the actual chancellor herself. Who could have gotten close enough to do something like that? I mean, it's... Oh, my God! That's what it was! He was planting the bug! Unbelievable. White House...

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

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Is not monitoring, will not monitor. I think you're missing a tense there. You got your present progressive there, and you got your simple future, but you're missing your past progressive, a.k.a. the we were not progressive. Where's your past progressive tense, Jay Carney? By the way, that joke brought you by grammar. Grammar. Yeah. Grammar. It's the rules what make your mouth feel dumb.

The Dan Bongino Show

What Did Zelensky Know? When Did He Know It? (Ep. 2426)

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Look, they're kicking progressive ass right now. And if progressives don't organize their media, their think tanks and all that, it's going to continue to happen. It's chaos.

The Dan Bongino Show

The Liberal Meltdown Means They're Guilty In This Scandal (Ep. 2420)

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There is a lot of waste, fraud, and abuse within a system.

The Dan Bongino Show

The Liberal Meltdown Means They're Guilty In This Scandal (Ep. 2420)

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Then please educate me on what the difference is.

The Dan Bongino Show

The Liberal Meltdown Means They're Guilty In This Scandal (Ep. 2420)

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If I give you a billion dollars and you can't tell me what happened to it, that to me is wasteful. That means you are not responsible. But if you can't tell me where it went, then what am I supposed to think?

The Megyn Kelly Show

Shocking DOGE Findings, Elon vs. Sen. Kelly, and Hillary's Hypocrisy, with Mark Halperin, Sean Spicer, and Dan Turrentine | Ep. 1037

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an initial proposal to the NTIA, then- Is that the result of their $5 million planning fund? This initial proposal?

The Megyn Kelly Show

Shocking DOGE Findings, Elon vs. Sen. Kelly, and Hillary's Hypocrisy, with Mark Halperin, Sean Spicer, and Dan Turrentine | Ep. 1037

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Oh my fucking God. At step 12, after all this has been done, I'm speechless.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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All right. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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All right. We are back. You know, we sort of have two tranches there. One is the wildfire and the other is kind of the day-to-day. Jesus, when I want to apply for something, I have to go through 10 pages. And by the way, you know, if we were to have a moonshot, rather than going to Mars, I would like to see all of our best engineers and technicians on a bureaucratic moonshot.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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to try and do a manhattan project of ridiculous fucking paperwork and and how you you simplify that in a way that that makes sense so i have i have great sympathy for that the wildfire thing is slightly different in my mind because that also speaks to a larger you know everybody wants to stop these things uh and react to them like los angeles and climate change and no water.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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And I guess the most recent shock and awe is all the money. Let's just stop the money, just real quick. I'm just going to... You know what? What are we doing there? What are we paying for? Let's just... let's just stop the money real quick and just take a,

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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There's a lot of factors that when a tornado comes and there's a fire, I don't know how many trucks you could park near the area and how much water you could have that would have stopped what was something that from a lot of the firefighters I talked to out there, they thought was inevitable. That when you put that many houses in that dry a place, With those high winds, this is going to happen.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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We're willing to scream at Los Angeles because they hired a lesbian fire chief and a black mayor, but nobody wants to talk about the way that these disasters have been exacerbated by climate and all kinds of other things.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But it's still hubris. I mean, there is still a certain extent like, okay, Sandy hit, so we learned our lesson. Everybody eight feet up on stilts and let's put a berm up. But like God is going to come in and go like, really? Stilts? You think stilts? Like we have to have a certain acceptance of our vulnerability on this. I think we can always do a better job. There is no question in my mind.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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that there were things that could be done. But when we focus so much on DEI and all this other dumb shit that they think is determinative, like they built...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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take a look at it i imagine you could just keep paying the money and take a look at it while it's happening but but i guess they wanted to stop it they don't see it in motion apparently now they've rolled back they're putting back in i guess meals on wheels and a couple other things that but you know they don't want to kill old people but the rest of us anyway this is it's it's it's a lot it's a fucking lot and uh to help us uh get through it you know uh i can talk

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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um it makes it creates an easy straw man john for for folks who are looking for someone to something to blame right i understand but so so let's let's break that down a little bit because i think that's that is a an incredibly powerful thread that's been going through our society for a long time that this idea of dei is anti-merit you know it takes our meritocracy that we've

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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worked so hard to fix, which says, when were we a meritocracy? At what point is diversity less competitive? Introducing more people into the system who have different skill sets and come from different things. Hiring is subjective. There's no objective test. It's always subjective. Let's look at the Secretary of Defense. Right? Yeah. Well, now we live in a meritocracy. We've restored it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Lloyd Austin is the DEI candidate, even though he had, I don't know, 40 years of experience running large organizations. If you got those two resumes between he and Pete Hegzeth, which one would be considered of merit?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But where is that done? I'm trying to think like my experience. You have experience hiring as well, right? I do a lot. I have experience hiring. What I found was hiring has a certain inertia to it, right? Generally, the people that kind of

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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started whatever industry or whatever office did generally hire close to people that resemble them so and i'm not even talking about white black what i'm talking about like i'll just go with late night comedy right David Letterman revolutionized late night comedy. He did it with a lot of Harvard, Lampoon, SNL, same way writers.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So the comedy writing industry was for a long time, not necessarily out of malevolence or prejudice. The inertia of it, the status quo of it was nerdy white dudes from Harvard and the other Ivy League's. Very bad to say about Conan. That's horrible to be. Terrible to say. Saying that about Conan, John.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But even when we went to like, oh, we're going to do blind submissions, what we didn't realize is all the agents are also steeped in that same status quo. So all the resumes, even when we would get them, still predominantly when we went specifically to say, now this is what you would consider DEI. Give us not that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Open it up to make sure you give us women, people of color, other writers, so that we can at least see what that is. And all of a sudden, we found these incredible writers. Now, you could say, oh, you put diversity over competence. But that's the red herring. We didn't. We opened up what were stagnant pools, pools that were incestuous. And we opened up those tributaries.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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with the home team as much as we want. I want to get some insight on somebody who really knows Donald Trump, has spoken out against Donald Trump, has also collaborated. He's done the collabs and spoken out. But let's get to him right now to hopefully get a sense of where this thing may in fact be going and what are some of the darker undertones that are behind it. So without further ado...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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And isn't that what increases competition, not decreases it? Here's another example. All this talk about meritocracy. Vivek Ramaswamy comes out and says, all right, well, we need these engineers on H-1B visas, right? They're very talented. And everybody freaks the fuck out. How dare you prioritize these, what, better engineers? Like, what are we actually talking about?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But that's the point of DEI is not there to just change the color scheme and the palette. It's to look at a broader. And by the way, it includes hiring veterans, people of different socioeconomic status. Like it's not just race. or gender, diversity brings a resilience to your organizations that it might not have otherwise.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But without that, when has merit ever been implemented in that way. Legacy admissions to colleges, legacy admissions to the big firms. Why do we assume that the so-called meritocracy, the way that things were done in the past when America was great, was an objectively meritocratic system? It wasn't. It's rigged. It's always been rigged.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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It's more rigged by that than any measure of bringing on somebody whose experience for the position may be slightly more unorthodox.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But that's where we disagree. All right, a little quick break, and then we're coming right back.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Governor Chris Christie, 55th governor. 55th? Yeah. Of New Jersey. Obviously ran for president 2016, 2024.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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And we're back.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But you just told me that's what you did in the prosecutor's office.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

2094.435

No, I know, but that's because there's been a purposeful dismantling of anything that looks to repair the damage done by what were the legacy and the exclusionary practices of

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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of the past that's purposeful the the the backlash against dei is not uh a populist uprising against hiring it's the purposeful uh framing of that through political actors that's i mean that's what christopher ruffo that's what descent is like that's what these guys are doing intentionally this isn't the world suddenly saying oh my god what happened to our competence like

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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there was something about they wanted a diversity program in hiring pilots. And everybody was like, why don't they just hire the best pilots? And the idea is like, you really think they're out there just going, give me a black guy that doesn't know anything about the qualifications needed to become a pilot or won't study to become a pilot.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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It's just another way to retreat from, I think, the added competition of diverse populations.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But you saw that was a huge story on the right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But they're getting blamed for the government's lack of agility and responsiveness. So where I object to is now suddenly we go, I appreciate the diagnosis, right? Government not responding to the discomfort of the people in an agile way. Right. What I don't appreciate is that that is being blamed on DEI and illegal immigration.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Listen, the best example of that was after George Floyd died.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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when the democrats gathered i can't remember where it was in the rotunda like in kente cloth yeah you know it's nancy pelosi standing and i agree with you a lot of it can be performative right yes in gucci shoes and kente cloth you know i mean it's good exactly it's it's it's a little bit it's distasteful doesn't mean that it's it's it's not necessary and i think and this ties back in let's and this will bring it back around maybe to to

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Donald Trump and sort of how this is going. Make America great again. You're not quite sure what they mean. Do they mean return it to the default setting, which is, I guess, as you said, white male and competent? Is that the idea behind this? And is that what people are voting for? And in your mind, is that Donald Trump's vision of this?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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You don't think it's more purposeful than that? I mean, the co-opting of the language of like America first. I mean, it's got so many... Look. Well, those are two different things. But they've really... put them together. What did he say in his inaugural speech? I will always put America first. He must be very aware of the evocation of that, no?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Years. I believe years.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So then let's talk about then the people around him. I definitely view the way he runs this country as, look, he has run the Trump organization. It's not a publicly traded company. He runs it. He is the emperor of that empire. He is the king of it all. And I think that's where he's most comfortable being, obviously.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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And he is looking at the federal government to reflect that ethos, that he is steeped in that kind of imperious way. What I am seeing is our system is not very well prepared to handle somebody who's going to push it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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There's enough cracks and air and loopholes and things within our system that if you want to push it, and by the way, he's nullified Congress because now he's got the House and the Senate and he's got the judiciary. Like everybody wants to say, okay, this is, he's a fascist. What I'm looking at it as, haven't we handed him the keys to that type of ruler? He's been handed it democratically.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Like that's what's most frightening to me is you always think of the last bulwark is the consent of the governed, right? He has that. And the Democrats are in utter disarray. So how do you realistically stand up to a person that is very comfortable operating at that imperial level of our government at its kind of The founders didn't think of it that way.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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They thought it would be a check and balance between judiciary and legislative and executive. I don't think they viewed it as two parties fighting each other and a president that's going to push the shit out of this. Unitary executive. I mean, they almost made it that the president was like an eight-person board. So I've yet to see what is the effective response to...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So why, you know... You've known this about him. How long have you known him for? Many, many years. 23 years. 23 years. Okay. I don't imagine that the pettiness, vindictiveness and anger and those various things that you talk about in terms of character just recently surfaced. That he went through some sort of midlife crisis and ended up With some personality tics that old people get.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So, and this is the question that gets back to what we talked about originally. And it's not a gotcha, it's not meant to the thing. You were one of those people. You knew. In 2016, you knew what this guy was. You knew all those things. You had rationalizations for why you didn't act upon that and call it out earlier. It's not even that you stepped back. You actively participated in there.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So you, I think, rightly have identified something. But very clearly, it's... It's something you yourself, I think, fell victim to. And you can say, well, in 2020 when he finally wouldn't concede, that's when I knew. But you did know. And these people know and they don't do it. So what do you say to them and what do you say to yourself?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Wait, when do I have to be?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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All right, fair enough.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But you weren't running against him. You were running for president.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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You really, you really think it's going there. You think it, Do you think the chaos is purposeful to start invoking some of those more emergency type powers? Is that where this is going?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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We've known this for a very long time. And by the way, you were one of his. Boy, he enjoyed making fun of you, right? Oh, yeah. Still does. But in 2016, you helped him. You helped him in the debates and all that. What is it? That keeps people in the orbit. Is it a fear that you will lose your political career if you go against him? Is it a close to power? He makes people supplicants.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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The Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense is going to be like Meatloaf and Gary Busey arguing in the boardroom?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Yeah, he sees them on TV.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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He will always take the cruelest option he can possibly come up with. Absolutely right. So that brings us to, and I'm cognizant of your time, and I really do appreciate you being here, and this will sort of bring us back around to the end. When I look at that, his pettiness or his cruelty or his... his comfort in chaos.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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I feel like the arguments against him have been litigated now for 10 years through the public and through the courts. We've gone through 10, 12 years of, he's terrible. He's a threat to democracy. He's an autocrat. And Americans saw that. They saw January 6th. They saw everything. They saw the convictions, the felonies. And they went, yeah, we're good with that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Not only are we good with that, we're better with that than we were the last time. And we've talked a little bit about you know, your idea that Republicans have shown their character by not in any way standing up to that aspect of it, even if they might agree with them philosophically on certain areas.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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So now let's talk about the Democrats because this is the team I consider my team and I feel they are utterly rudderless. They've litigated the he's an autocrat and he's a dick argument. It hasn't gone anywhere. And it seems like they are utterly unprepared for this onslaught and are still just shouting autocracy rather than, look, this guy walked into office with a Project 2025 book.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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This is a 50 to 60 year project they've been working on. How is it that the Democrats are so flat footed here? And where is their counter to this? That idea that Americans feel left out of the government. Why are they just status quo-ing it?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Why are they just sending out Chuck Schumer to put his glasses down by his nose to look down and read a statement in as flat a monotone as you could possibly muster about the existential danger we face of this autocrat and then like take a quick call from his kid and laugh about, my grandson lost a tooth. And then he goes back to like,

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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Why is Obama shit, you know, laughing with him at a thing is it all feels performative. And, and what is the actual, where's the book that says, this is what the relationship with the government is. And here's how we're going to fix it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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But the Republicans are very good at – they've lined up a lot of their think tanks with their media, with their –

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

The Cons & Cons of Trump with Gov. Chris Christie

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uh political arms they have fights too they've got a freedom caucus like right now the democratic strategy appears to be let's hope chip roy is so fucking crazy that he'll just stand up and make it impossible for the house to pass anything rather than you can't just tell people to steer away from that crash you have to give them a direction to drive into and i know that's being reductive

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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But they don't seem to have that same infrastructure or leadership.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Oh, I don't. I mean, if your idea is like the Democrats lost because Biden was too progressive, I would. No, no.

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Which is entirely the opposite of what reality is. He's a guy who says, I'm the free, free speech is back. And by the way, somebody should remove MSNBC from the air and CBS, and I'm going to sue everybody. Like there's, it's incoherent.

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But don't you think reconciliation allows him much more leeway through the Senate? I mean, he's going to push everything to reconciliation.

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See, here's where I think he's going to get around that, and I truly believe this. I think they're being really shrewd about this. I think they actually are going to be ruthless in –

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cutting spending and i think you're seeing that now with the freeze on everything else like i think he's i think he's calculated that into their project i think these guys again they've thought this through they have a game plan in my mind this really is and maybe it's just because it's my team i'm so frustrated with their inability to mount any coherent opposition

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other than I'm telling my lawyer, we're telling our lawyers to file an injunction. And I mean, come on, guys, this is autocracy. And it goes back to the only path I see out of this really dark tunnel that we're in, and I do feel like it's dark and going to get darker, is they have to have at least one of the handles of power.

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And to get that, they have to present a convincing, authentic, coherent, and directed and led vision, not of I'm a progressive, I'm a conservative, I'm a thing, I'm a that, of how to make this thing work, how to make it work for people to agilely respond to They're paying money in. What are they getting back? And what does that mean to their lives? And if they can't do that, we're royally fucked.

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That is the premise.

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Now you're talking my life. Now this is all bringing it back to sports radio, baby. Let's go. Offense and defense.

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And look, and I think ultimately, you know, you as a governor, I think ultimately what's going to happen is the states are going to have to the system is still federalist. And I think we're going to see power returning to some of the states. And I think you're going to see governors profiles. raised within that.

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And I think they're going to come up with really creative solutions to protect the people most vulnerable to a lot of the shit that's going down. And someone, I have faith that someone may not rise out of the legislative arms of the party, but out of the executive arms of the party, you may start to see some changes made and some things come up.

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Even in that moment, when he's doing things like, you know, he makes the whatever it was, the Oreo joke, or he makes you a supplicant. And this is 2016. And then you watched him as president. You know, you were part of his transition team. You know, he went out of his way to kind of shame you, right? Mm-hmm. Why go back in 2020?

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But ultimately, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with us today and giving the insights into what you were given. So thank you for being here.

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Chris Christie, former governor of New Jersey. Thank you so much, presidential candidate. And we really do appreciate you coming on today.

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Chris Christie. I want to thank him very much for the conversation. For those of you who didn't, See, before we got started in the conversation, we talked about Mets, and I don't think I've ever seen him as animated. I think that's the key, is you bring up the Mets, and Chris Christie goes. So I want to also point a quick note.

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We taped a separate little piece talking about an Afghan resettlement program for allies of the United States. who had been in Afghanistan, who are having trouble now with the program that was set up to get them into the United States safely. And we talked to Sean Van Diver, who is heading up a program called Afghan EVAC, about the status of that program. You can check that out as well.

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I think we're going to put that out as a separate piece, so as rather not to make your podcast listen as long as possible. I don't know how far your car ride is, is what I'm trying to say to you. I don't know how this goes. So anyway, we appreciate you sticking with the program, listening to it. Please keep sending all your suggestions and such. And we'll check you out next week.

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Like, what was it that made you still stick with, you know, it's one thing to say, okay, well, that I didn't really know in 2016. In 2020, you clearly knew. So what is it then?

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As always, lead producer Lauren Walker, producer Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer Rob Vitolo, audio editor and engineer Nicole Boyce. researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear, and our executive producers, Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Thank you guys so much. Could not, could not do this thing without all their hard work. Really appreciate it. And we'll see you next week. Boy.

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The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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You went with the one that was fatally flawed character-wise.

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Had you had dealings with Biden at that time and that's where you drew that conclusion?

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I wouldn't not at the same time. No, but fair enough.

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Not to use the bridge, by the way, sensitive topic. I don't want to go bridge.

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Yeah, you got to really reach for metaphors when I'm talking to ex-politicians here.

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Look, this is, it's, I feel it in my bones, a certain fright about where this thing is going to go. And The most difficult thing for me to reckon is that moment that you speak about, that from November to January, that inability to concede the election results without any shred of legitimate court-tested proof, anything that has evidentiary standards.

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As you know, the court system was really the only thing that held up. the fact that January 6th happened, not as a moment of, you know, a crime of passion, but as the result of careful weeks and months of planning by his legal team as to which obstacle he next had to reach. Like, I think what they said was, this is your final shot. If we can't stop this electoral count, it's over.

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Hey, everybody. Welcome once again to The Weekly Show. My name is Jon Stewart. It is end of January, I'm going to say, 2025. President Trump has been president forever or an hour. The confusion, the chaos, which I'm assuming is the point, has been stunning. Even for those expecting there to be this kind of, I mean, they said shock and awe.

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If we can't somehow make it chaotic and get it thrown into the house, right? The most anti-democratic thing you could possibly achieve, at least in my mind, in an election in America. He was not punished for that. He was rewarded for that with not just an electoral college win, but a popular vote win. So what are we now to make of this?

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We've all got in our minds that Chris Christie moment, a bridge too far, even for someone that I had doubts about, character flaws, all these different things. He finally crossed for you the Rubicon. And America is unmoved by the character argument and the autocrat argument. So what are you left with?

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But let's go, you know, it's interesting because you talk about it in terms of the people, right? And you say, well, it's a binary choice, this person versus...

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this person but i think there's something uh deeper here about a system of government that people no longer feel is responsive enough for them that democracy in and of itself has gotten sort of sclerotic and and is not is not agile in the way that it needs to be and Is it that, you know, I don't necessarily disagree with Donald Trump's diagnoses. The system is rigged against people.

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Powerful interests have the ear of our politicians. The government is not responding necessarily to the discomfort of its, let's call them customers, right? I think it's a Trojan horse. it seems like what the Republicans have in mind is kind of an undoing of the relationship that we have established between the people and the government since the New Deal.

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And further than that, the Immigration Act of the 60s and the Civil Rights Act of the 60s. These are the things that this Project 2025 wants to disassemble. It's sort of like Project 1929. Is that their aim? And all... Everything else is sort of noise. Is the signal here a refashioning of the relationship between the government and the people?

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They were coming in with shock and awe, which really is not a phrase that you expect to be deployed on your own country. I was under the impression that it was the kind of thing we would deploy on countries we had hostilities with. But it turns out the hostility is with us. It's the people, the American people that are going to get the shock and awe.

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End of the process, meaning they've actioned it, they've built it, or now they've gotten the- No, no, no.

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They had been approved for the money. Yes, basically. How many of these obstacles are – let's try and tease it out a little bit because I think the more specific you get here, Ezra, I think the more helpful it is for everybody to understand.

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Yeah. You're very granular and it's fascinating. So I want to tease out how much of this is also local and state issue. How much of this is litigation? How much of this is kind of the liberal instinct of, You can't solve anything unless it also solves everything, meaning it also has to be carbon neutral and hire only disabled contractors and also small businesses.

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And Donald Trump, this is when he is at his best, when he gets that quick onset dementia. Anytime he gets caught in a situation that would require some accountability, he immediately goes into the, I don't even have a...

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You know, what is the percentage of this that really affects

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what you think is a blueprint forward for for democrats and what is other kind of noise i'm trying to see if i can pull up where i actually have to get granular with you um somewhere i have from derek the actual chart derek by the way the co-author yes who should and and again this is not in any way a criticism grow a beard because it really he does

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in the interviews, appear to be your enthusiastic intern. He looks 17.

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His youthful visage, I find a little bit distracting as a grizzled veteran. All right. We got to take a quick break. Be right back. We are back. All right, here we go. Ezra's Googling as we speak. And he's pulling it up. I'm going to do this like a golf announcer. Ezra Klein, he is coming up on the 18th green. He is pulling up examples.

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The 180 days is just them notify, they have to notify people that there might be this opportunity.

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And I hate to even break this down even further because this is just- I'm so glad we're doing this.

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Ezra, I think it's so important for people, though, to really get an understanding of just what is the bureaucracy. It's this faceless thing. Right now at Doge, it's demonized as though the people that are running the bureaucracy are the evil ones. Like they're just executing what they've been told to do by Congress.

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text i don't i've never heard about it this is the first i've heard about it you know they confronted him on there's classified information going on text change and there are it's it's not secure they're on fucking snapchat or wherever they're on and they've got a journalist on there and he's like i don't know what you're talking

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These are just hardworking, smart people trying to do the right thing by what's been legislated.

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It's still at the first step. Yes. Just out of curiosity, what is the half a year? What's going on in the 180 days between when this is passed as legislation and when they're going to notify people it's been passed and it's an opportunity?

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hey man that's not me i do everything goodfellas style i go outside i go to the phone booth i talk to one person on the phone or we pass notes i don't do any of that kind of that kind of stuff he did the same with i think the deportation orders you know these deportation orders that The Justice Department says that they were illegal.

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And also, by the way, going to make it impossible. for anyone other than larger corporations to comply because the expense that it would take for smaller, more agile, more local businesses, they would not have the manpower, the financial resources.

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You are excluding an enormous amount of the American economy in terms of building things by laying on compliance costs that would drive most companies into the ground.

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Meaning you can't apply unless you live up to those.

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Well, whoever did them is in a lot of trouble, and I'll make sure to talk to them about it if I ever figure it out. I didn't sign it. I don't even know what a pen is. I don't have a pen. I don't use writing. I don't have hands. How could I have done it? It really is just a remarkable game of, hey, man, it wasn't me.

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I'll give you something else, Ezra. Yeah, please. This, I think, is also an important part of the process. Congress people are very busy. And so the space between what they have the capacity to do to delineate these things versus what lobbyists in these industries have to do. In other words, a lot of what's in these wish lists are industry wish lists.

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The lobbyists who have the time, industry is writing a lot of what's in these bills.

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That's good.

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And the one thing nobody's actually really talked about is the crazy arrogance in this text chain and confidence. This whole like, fuck Europe, fuck these freeloaders, like all these countries. What did they ever do for us other than sign up to go fight in a war that we started over an event that didn't happen to them? Fuck them. I mean, it's just... The most myopic, selfish, arrogant.

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Ezra, I just want to say, if you were going to design a machine That would keep people from getting broadband. Yes. If you were to design a machine that would, it's almost as though they have designed this to make sure that people in rural areas, by the time this is around, Musk will already have the chips in our brains. We won't even need it.

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Is that the result of their $5 million planning fund, this initial proposal?

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And what the fuck did they apply for? What was their nofo?

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These are motherfuckers, these regular, this is crazy.

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For this bill. They wanted this.

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My hair was dark when we started this process. I was a young, healthy man. I had the bone density of a- Your VO2 max was amazing. Of a stainless steel. I didn't need any supplements. And by the way, I want to make sure that everybody understands each one of these steps I'm sure, and pardon me if I'm being presumptuous, each one of these steps has an amount of time that they write into.

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So in other words, it's a 90-day waiting period for these challenges. It's a 120-day review process. There's already, without anybody even submitting anything, that they could have seen on a macro level Two and a half years of nothingness built into the plan.

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I feel confident knowing what the public comment times are. Like you always have 90 days, 120 days. They have a 30-day review process. They have an 800-day, you know, it's all of this.

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Okay. Got to take a quick break. We will be right back. We are back.

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And then this whole idea, I guess we got to bail these fuckers out again by what? Bombing the Houthis? Like how many years are we going to be bombing the Houthis? Like you didn't solve anything. These guys, maybe the new attacks on shipping in 2023 or 2024, maybe they'll chill that out for a little bit. But I mean, the Saudis have bombed the shit out of them. They did a blockade against them.

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Oh my fucking God. At step 12, after all this has been done,

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I'm speechless, Ezra. Honestly, like it's A, far worse than I could have imagined, but the fact that they amputated their own legs on this is what's so stunning. And just for fairness sake, I'll give you the flip side of that, which is the PACT Act, right?

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It's the burn pit bill where soldiers who had been exposed to toxins who had slept near there were getting all these illnesses for the VA to cover them presumptively for these other Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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They're acting like, okay, finally, daddy's home and he's going to throw a couple of missiles at them and that'll cure everything. Like that hasn't been the solution to everything we've been doing over these past 30, 40 years. Oh, we'll just throw a few cruise missiles into Libya. That should fix it. It's just, man, arrogance is, but here's what I like about the show we're going to do today.

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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Today we're going to be talking about Ezra Klein, and I love his podcast and I always learn a ton. But he's written a book that has angered some people on the left because it is self-critical. It is looking at the things that the left can do to maybe improve their case for people. And it couldn't be more timely. And people are talking about it.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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And I'm happy to have him on because I think it is a fascinating... And the beauty of it is in the specificity of it. This is not some broad polemic about... This is a... a deep and interesting dive into just the mechanics and guts of how a government accomplishes something. And it's really, for me at least, for somebody who loves this kind of stuff, is fascinating.

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So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna get to them and we'll get this thing damn started. We're so excited to have this gentleman as a guest on the program. We're going to get right to him. New York Times podcast host of the Ezra Klein Show, co-author of Abundance with Derek Thompson, staff writer at The Atlantic. It's Ezra Klein. Ezra! John!

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Boy, that's a good point.

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Spending money, that's a thing. We did that in finance and look what it did to the world economy.

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What is... Man, I feel like this book... First of all, congratulations on the book.

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And a lot of it is also, to be fair, state and local. Even without the federal government intervention, state and local zoning restrictions, environmental law, all these different things are also there. Ezra, I want to ask you, like,

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A fabulous reception. People are really interested in it. I think there's a real thirst for this kind of blueprint... And the type of things, but I have to tell you, the first thing that pops to mind is you are like the Timothee Chalamet of the book world right now. This press tour, it is the complete unknown of economic blueprints for a path forward. I'm mostly following this analogy.

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What do you think about even stepping back a bit further than that, which is, you know, we're talking a little bit about the priorities of a more progressive agenda, the things that they want to build. Is there even a more basic step that needs to be addressed first? Because one of the issues that I think afflicts maybe more progressive policies, which is we need $500 billion to build this.

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We need to tax billionaires to get the money to do this. But the public does not trust that that money will be attached to a value that directly impacts their lives because they haven't seen it for a couple of decades or so. And on the flip side, the Republicans come in with a Sith and they're chopping it in the name of efficiency, but again, with no eye to value.

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Do Democrats have to almost take even a step further back and simplify the case for value? and making that case to people and competence.

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Cass Sunstein in the back room writing all the things.

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Perhaps that's the order that went around. I've got to stand up on this situation for just one moment. A, this is why I don't do group chats. They're so fucking annoying. Not even when you're obviously planning on bombing another country.

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That's everything. That's everything. That is the exact crux of what we're talking about. And even when we talk about the great examples of democratic revolutionary legislation over the past 20 years. Even when you talk about the ACA, I pay a lot of taxes. Oh, so you get healthcare. Well, no, I get maybe a stipend that'll buy me insurance. Oh, so the insurance is healthcare.

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Well, no, it's actually like a ticket and you have to go up to the counter and they'll say, well, yes, you can have a little bit of healthcare, but you can't have this healthcare. There is a disconnect. It reminds me of the education conversation that was once sort of, it went viral. It was a list of the 10 ways that people learn best.

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His press tour was ubiquitous. Are you pleased with the way that this has entered the world, that has entered the chat?

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And then they put the 10 ways that things are taught and they were exactly contradictory of how things. We have designed a system that is, in many ways, government has just become the trough for big business to come in give nothing away, only extract. And I think nobody has demonstrated to people in recent times that it doesn't have to be that way.

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Was that the one where they bought – every unit cost like $400,000 to build?

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Just to get ready to start. I think ultimately the point is this. I look at government as... We need to use it to harness the power of business, not let citizens be exploited by the rapaciousness of business. And they are two very different things.

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So just a lot of self-reflection on why did I undertake this?

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That is not to say you're anti-business, but it's to suggest that you have to be some kind of a bulwark against those kinds of instincts that they have there. And that is the way. Do you remember there was a book called, oh, shit, The Death of Common Sense. Is that ring a bell to you, Howard? That sounds like a book.

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Who wrote about, it's not that we don't necessarily have regulations thing, is that we don't interpret them with any common sense. We don't allow leadership, whether it's within the judiciary or whether it's in the regulatory, that we allow the bureaucracy of it to become almost sentient. and forget that it's a tool. And I almost wonder, you know, you talked earlier about what man is capable of.

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We put somebody on the moon. Maybe we need a kind of bureaucratic moonshot, a Manhattan project.

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Here's the final pitch, Ezra, because I think that is dead on. And it reminds me of something that what happens is They're so afraid of waste, fraud and abuse, which are very legitimate things to be concerned about, that they build into the system waste, fraud and abuse. Yes. That the waste, fraud and abuse of the system that is there to prevent waste, fraud and abuse is waste, fraud and abuse.

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I know we're going down a rabbit hole.

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But they're doing it because Republicans are so mistrustful. Right, but then he wants to light the whole fucking thing on fire and privatize it. So here's the flip side of it. Make government programs more accessible, less adversarial. You would streamline all of those processes. And then on the back end,

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build in a more robust fraud enforcement yes so in other words you flip it i can tell you this at the va that would transform that organization if they didn't in their search for the three percent of those that were abusing the system force 97 of the people into this hellish labyrinth They would save a shit ton of money on that.

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They would save a shit ton of lives and just have more robust, streamlined fraud enforcement on the back end. It's just a simple flip of how we're viewing it. And I think it would be profound.

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Bars as reclined.

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It's so self-protective. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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It's to get the shit out there. One other thing I wanted to ask you. What I'm seeing in the Trump administration, right, is that they've got historians and legal scholars combing through the history of this country, finding whatever Byzantine or abstract emergency power. It's the Illegal Enemies Act. It's the, oh, we used this once in 1813, trying to get some native tribes off of land.

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They're using... Powers that have been granted under emergencies to do sort of day-to-day governance things. And I don't like it, but is there anything to be learned from this for people who have more liberal aims and progressive aims?

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People like it when their government works. And they don't realize, Ezra, every problem is an emergency to someone.

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This has been one of my favorite interviews by far. Thank you. I will never say mofo again without thinking nofo. That's what you've implanted into my brain.

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That's the mimetic endpoint of this. I really appreciate you spending the time. Congratulations on all the things. It's Ezra Klein, New York Times podcast, The Ezra Klein Show, co-author of Abundance with 11-year-old Derek Thompson, who is a prodigy.

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I can't get on board with this, man. Please come back and talk again. Add me to your group chats.

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I hope to get a chance to talk to you soon.

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Man, I'm exhausted. I just spent an hour and a half in that dude's head and the amount of information, the amount of specificity, no wonder he had to Google a couple of things. But wow, I will never... take Wi-Fi for granted ever again, knowing the 14-step program that has been put in place just to get to the starting line. For me, that will ultimately be

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the takeaway, but really appreciated the gentleman coming on and explaining all those various things and get the book. It's called Abundance. And it really does give an awful lot to think about as far as, you know, there's an opportunity for the next iteration of what that type of governance will look like. And I think this is a great start in picking that apart.

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But anyway, thanks everybody for listening. We went long, so we're going to rush things out. As always, thank our lead producer, Lauren Walker. producer Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer Rob Vitolo, audio editor and engineer Nicole Boyce, researcher and associate producer Jillian Spear, and our executive producers Chris McShane and Katie Gray.

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And I am Jon Stewart, and we will see you next week. The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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Is that a podcast that you turn manually? What is a book? But it's fascinating to me. When did you start this project? Three years ago? Two years ago? Four years ago?

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But just in the sense, I think their group chat must have had what Pete Hegseth and the Department of Defense and the National Security Advisor Walts and generals and a journalist from the Atlantic. There must have been 16 or 18 people. The notifications alone would make me want to launch missiles.

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hey everybody welcome to the weekly show podcast my name is john stewart we are taping this on wednesday march 26th probably you probably get it thursday march 27th who knows what will be revealed in the secretive group chats of our nation's most powerful people between now and then perhaps lunch orders an egg salad with a Onions and celery on a nice pumpernickel.

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Right. But it's this disconnect between we have a value system that we espouse, certainly on Facebook or in our Twitter handles. And yet operationally, we can never live up to this value system because you really don't want that value system anywhere near your house.

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Somewhere down the road. Yeah. The crazy thing to me is that the moment that it drops, because it's this really interesting theory of there's this absurdity at the heart of some of the liberal idealism that comes in the difficulty of making it actionable because of liberal resistance to some of it.

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forgetting about regulation or various things that that go into it but nobody a few years ago is really thinking about that the democratic playbook might be obsolete it drops in this moment when there is such confusion and chaos as to the direction or the foundation or the blueprint.

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What you're starting to conjure before any of all this, Project 2025 becomes evident, is maybe a building block for that, some kind of cornerstone. Do you think that's part of why this has generated such a interest?

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Every fucking thumbs up emoji or bicep arm and fist pump and fire and every little, you got that right. I agree. And your phone, ding, ba-bing, ba-bing, ding. I would have thrown my phone out the window. It's maddening. There's got to be four people on a chat room or whatever they call them, text chain, all that other shit.

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Are you suggesting you've been criticized for not including everything that could ever possibly be a wishlist?

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Green energy, baby. Green energy and investment.

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building world broadband maybe even back better they didn't want to just build it ezra they wanted it back better wow man that's uh there's something about throwing me back to that moment that that hurts at this moment right like the optimism the um it was a simpler time it was a simpler time yeah but you you make the point in the book which i think is is really interesting that that moment of optimism

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actually crystallized in some ways the failure. Yes. And you make it very stark in terms of, for instance, the chargers, which I think is a great example.

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All right. So the way I would look at it is this. The greatest... inhibitor of personal liberty in my mind is not necessarily uh overzealous regulation or something along those lines it's it's poverty right it's struggle it's the inability to get enough of the fruits of your labor to allow yourself pers the personal freedom that you need you know survival and and being on a tenuous razor's edge

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is for my calculation the greatest inhibitor of personal liberty free markets this the operating system that we're running capitalism whether it's free or not is by its nature exploitative of of labor so their goal is to get you to work for them for the least amount of money they can they can pay you because they need to drive the biggest profits, right? Sure.

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So because of that, it's hard for me to reconcile those two dynamics feel at odds.

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Why 1968, do you think?

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It's not good, right? Would you draw it further back to like objectivism or would you say that?

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Yeah.

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Even I, for a second, was like, what the, was I shot? I glued it that night. And then it's pretty gnarly looking, but it's all good. So it goes, as Kurt Vonnegut would say, so it goes. We have a ton to get to today. We're taping on Wednesday. So God knows if we'll even still be live. in the alliances that we were in the day before, but I'm excited to talk to you today.

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Sure. The Merry Pranksters and-

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Wear monocles.

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Not even poor people. I mean, like working class or even regular middle class, which is how I grew up.

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The rollover, baby. You had to get to them zeros.

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Yeah, I think that's probably where you and I would disagree a little bit.

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You know, there's so much that's going on, and we talk about Democrats and liberals and Republicans and conservatives and Doge and MAGA. I wanted to get kind of the libertarian view, and I know that's not monolithic in any way, but I thought there's no better person to get that from than our guest today. So let's get to that right now.

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Yeah, I wouldn't question that at this point. There's a Republican congressman the other day who was like, kids should have to work for their lunch at school. And you're like, okay. That's interesting. Yeah, I agree. And by the way, SNAP benefits are controversial. Yeah. I mean, they really are within the government.

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And the other side I would say to it is when governments do provide that, right, they attach all kinds of conditions to it that they don't attach to subsidies that are for corporations. I mean, you get billions for things and yet food stamps, you're not allowed to buy hot food.

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So you're more of a, you would say means testing is the most important aspect of the safety net.

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Which, by the way, they don't. I mean, almost entirely those benefits are used to the positive and not.

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Yeah. The whole idea is like they're gaming the system for gambling money and cigarettes.

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But you're not against the government subsidizing those that are left out of uh whatever economic prosperity comes from the capitalist system which is i think for a lot of people would be surprising you know i've always said you know rand paul is kind of the avatar for all this in my mind only because having lobbied down there for the droga act for 9 11 and pact act for

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veterans and other things right i always started to get the impression that like a libertarian was a republican whose town hadn't hit hadn't been hit by a tornado yet right right like it was like no money for sandy relief and then kentucky gets hit by a tornado and they're like come on Which made me feel like it wasn't a practical operating system for people to be talking about.

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And this, I think, is going to surprise people. I think they view libertarianism in some ways as kind of a purest form of a kind of selfishness, right? That you don't do. And I would say that's a more charitable view than I hear from the Republican Party, almost in its entirety. I think they view poverty and being left behind as vice, as somehow it went in certain areas.

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Ladies and gentlemen, we are very pleased in this moment to have with us Nick Gillespie, editor at large of Reason Magazine, host of the Reason interview with Nick Gillespie podcast. Nick, the OG in my mind of kind of grounded libertarian thought is in my mind, I think of Nick Gillespie and I'm very pleased. that you could be here and join us today.

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I think if you were to look at like let's say the Midwest and the Rust Belt, right? I think the view there is those poor people. Globalization has hollowed out our manufacturing base. And then you would say, well, what about Chicago and New York City and minority communities? And they would say, pull your pants up and get a fucking job.

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It's almost an analog of what happened to our manufacturing base yet viewed almost entirely differently and without any sympathy.

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No, no, no. You're right. It does. It goes across lines. People have their prejudices against different groups.

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All right.

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for you know getting a good deal by resisting uh modernization of you know of containerized shipping um it's you know he knows how to play all of this do you think that's genuine because i find him to be incredibly dismissive of labor and workers and he views them you know i think in his unguarded moments like the podcast he did with elon where he was laughing with elon about

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how badly they had cut the workers at Twitter, and where do you think they are in reality?

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Are we recording this?

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It was only a couple of years, Nick. You know that was only a couple of years.

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It's a Costanza thing.

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It's not a lie if you believe it. And in that moment, he believes it.

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Why didn't we talk to you sooner, Nick?

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Listen, I think you're putting your finger on the essential questions that we talk about. I guess the way that I would maybe address that is slightly different, which is government exists... Getting back to the operating system, the operating system being capitalism.

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In my mind, the government exists to soften the blow that a, by definition, exploitative system is going to extract. Capitalism is extractive there. Goods, raw materials, labor has got to be the cheapest, drive the highest profits. And the people that will benefit that are necessarily a smaller slice of people because it's a shareholder operation, not a people operation.

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Is that really true? Because it's so interesting to me. Libertarian is, you think of political movements sometimes and you have a tendency to group them as a monolith. And the libertarian movement is anything but a monolith. It has, there's this sort of the side of it that's getting maybe the most attention in this day and age is maybe the kind of more edgelord side of it, that kind of young male.

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And the labor is not valued in the same way that investment or capital is. Capital is king.

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How did he get that name? He wasn't.

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You know what? We can argue about economic systems, but you were in dangerous territory, my friend.

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Dangerous territory.

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Yeah, I get that. Reason is a small, it's not a multinational. I'm talking writ large about multinational corporations. And I'll make the case, I think, because- If you look at wealth in systems that are poorly regulated in terms of capitalism, right?

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There is, in the same way that political power is accrued through a kind of contrived incumbency, I think wealth also accumulates through a contrived incumbency by those that are wealthy. And what you find is, so let's go back to times when capitalism was less fettered, and that would be sort of Gilded age. It's one thing to say, oh, competition, you know, iron tempers iron.

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It makes everybody stronger and it gets stronger. But what happens is, as we've seen with monopolistic tendencies in capitalism, once wealth is accrued. it becomes much easier to then keep tilting the table more in their favor. And it almost inexorably, it's a law of nature. It's a kind of Newton's law.

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Not awful, but it's not awful. But it's a system that requires exploitation and extraction. I mean, it generates more wealth than any other system, no question. But that wealth accumulates unusually. You brought up earlier the 50s. which I thought was a great time. And you're right. But tax rates then were 80% or 90%.

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And the GI Bill, which was a giant government expense, is what helped build that stable middle class that you're talking about.

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And they cut all kinds of deductions and rich people always find a way out of it. True.

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But when I call you the OG, you know, I feel like you were always grounding everything in Friedman and Hayek and, you know, all the things that you imagine libertarianism's foundation is built upon. Would that be correct?

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Right. I think that wages do not match productivity gains. They'll always lag.

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Isn't 50 to 60% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck?

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Oh, you're saying that our standard of living is now higher comparatively?

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You're saying that Henry Ford, the sort of the mechanization of goods and services allowed more people, which I don't in any way quibble with. I think that's why we use this operating system. I'm just saying the basis of this operating system

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is inequality and you see it in fits and starts it's why economics goes through cycles and that like if we hadn't have done the new deal we'll talk about it this way government intervention to ease the burden of those who are not able to protect their wealth through incumbency

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and really profit at that arithmetic or geometric level from the fruits of capitalism is what preserves the stability of the system. If we went more libertarian, I think you'd find the system is too volatile and revolution then becomes much more inevitable.

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You're suggesting that after 1929, if we hadn't gotten the New Deal, everything would have been

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Well, let's use a more recent example, which would be the 2008 financial crisis versus the pandemic. Yeah. In 2008 financial crisis, it's caused by risk-taking behavior within our investment economy, not our working economy.

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Well, Freddie May and those guys got into the game pretty late. And I think it's you'd be hard pressed to say that the hedge funds did it because they thought the government incentivized it.

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It's funny. I think where you and I would like society to settle is probably almost the same place. I think you and I would look at it as, and here's my path to get there. And you would say, here's my path. And you've got to trust both of those paths. You got to go. And ultimately, you got to trust me. That's where it comes down to theology.

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So you didn't get your start in dank memes. That was not how you got your start with all this.

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Well, I certainly don't think we're spending it effectively. That's, I think that's for sure.

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So here's what I would say with that. There are different ways to stimulate the economy. So I think since Reagan and probably before that, probably Carter, there has been the idea that supply side sort of what they would call neoliberal policy is the best way to stimulate

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the economy which means that the money tax cuts for incentivizing wealthier people and corporations and allowing for more m a and allowing for consolidation within industries which in some ways you know these these really it's the rise of these gigantic

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multinational uh corporations and it gets back to sort of what we're talking about 2008 versus the pandemic in 2008 the crash came from the financialization of all these products it came from the white collar markets we bailed them out as taxpayers which i would totally totally against as as was i but not against bailing out homeowners that's maybe where you and i would differ

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It depends, but yeah. But in the pandemic, when the era that rent assistance went out and the $600, the stimmy went out, what it showed to me was it took us 10 years. It took us a decade after 2008 to even get back to a semblance of where we were. The pandemic, it took us a year or a year and a half financially to be back. What it says is, in my mind,

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direct stimulus at a demand side level is far more fiscally responsible than these trickle-down neoliberal policies. I think we can spend less and get more.

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But isn't it to prevent more catastrophic adventure at some level? Well, this is where- This is where the theology comes in.

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But don't you think those actions were all influenced by the lobbyists from the finance? You know, when the government sets out to do something smart, that gets watered down almost immediately by the moneyed interests.

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So is the idea, Nick, if we were to boil this down, let me ask you this, is the idea maybe that's fundamental to our disagreement that because government can be captured by the same corrupt and corrosive interests that maybe business can be captured by. And I remember having Greenspan on the show and saying, why did we have a crisis in 2008?

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And he said, well, I think we thought that the banks would have done a better job of regulating themselves. And I was like, well, yeah, I didn't. But the point being is the only way to prevent that, to remove government, is that your sort of foundational principle?

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And you don't fear the natural order will be that the little guy's got no chance against money.

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You mean as opposed to communism or socialism? Is that what you mean?

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Which is still a large part of the operating system that we work with.

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Well, I think they were also not practiced with demand side stimulus. And so maybe they just didn't understand quite-

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what what the real value of it was because the amount of economic activity it generated even with wrecked supply chains but so this brings us sort of around and nick i can't thank you enough for yeah you know sitting in and and having the conversations because there's so much in it that is relevant to today but also yeah so many places of agreement that people may not have thought

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Yes. And coming from somebody who still believes in government's ability to give people help. Yes. I also believe government is far too onerous, far too bureaucratic. If I could give it anything, it would be a moonshot to everything.

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dispel unnecessary paperwork and to make it so that they don't have such ridiculous rules for every project that has to satisfy every interest group that ever walked the earth.

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I mean, in some respects, because they started off with imperialism and colonialism and slavery. And so everything that they give us from that feels like it's a concession. What are you talking about? We're paying you. You're not a slave. But let's-

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let's flip it now to at least what's happening now, because I think, you know, there is a feeling that the Trump administration is libertarian friendly and that Doge is libertarian friendly. And I guess my vision of what they're doing does not match. Like the idea that, you know, RFK Jr. is a give to libertarians seems crazy to me, but, or that any of this is They're not talking about freedom.

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They're talking about fealty. And they're talking about, yes, free speech is a wonderful value unless we don't like it and we will bring to bear even more authoritarian values. So how are you feeling in this moment?

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Let's start with one. No polio. Okay, let's move on from there.

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Are you saying I'm riding my bike behind the Trump administration as a fire hose?

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Do you think that's purely a purview of the left?

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See, I always looked at it more as a function of social media, which kind of gave the villagers who wanted pitchforks and torches a way to go after everybody, you know, and that includes, by the way, things that have nothing to do with politics. If you were to criticize, you know, one direction, you would get a shit storm coming your way.

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But well, that's the other side is that's people expressing their speech.

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See, I never had a problem. Look, I feel like I operate a small artisanal talk shittery. And if people want to operate their talk shittery back at me, that is only fair. So I guess I'm trying to separate wokeness from people just giving each other incessant shit about everything.

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I got a bumper sticker, corporations are pussies. They don't want any trouble. I'll tell you what, in terms of content creation, the biggest sort of censoring blanket that went over show business, I didn't think was wokeness. It was when Ron DeSantis sued Disney.

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As soon as that happened, you saw people back off of content that they thought, or like when Trump threatens to jail Zuckerberg. Right. I guess that's my problem is just the hypocrisy of it all.

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On Colbert, yeah, on the late show.

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Lettios, I believe it was called. It was delicious, stayed crunchy. The one cereal that stayed crunchy in the bowl was Lettios.

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No, I can tell you he doesn't mean it. I think it's pretty obvious he doesn't mean it. Listen, man, I've honestly never seen a president, and I know they lean on people. I'm not naive. I've never seen someone threaten to jail people who don't use the terminology. I've seen them try and reveal sources in a way that I thought was, I think what they did to Snowden was insane.

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Like all those different things. I've seen it, but he's making it explicit and yet was hailed as the free speech king.

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But isn't the threat of it all that matters? Whether he jails them or not is kind of not the issue.

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Or educators that were teaching in a way that they didn't. For all the complaints of the woke left, they've rarely ensconced it in law in the way that the right has.

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So are you aligning with their, their other goals of, you know, like I personally, if you could make government more efficient, oh my God.

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yeah you think that opening up that that competition let me ask you this maybe this is a different way to frame kind of dei so for me if if you reframe that argument economically it maybe aligns a little bit more with how you feel because what i think diversity and inclusion and equity means maybe not in the practice and

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I don't think it means sitting through that hour long seminar where everybody looks at each other and goes, right. I never said that about her ass. Like it's not that, but I look at it as more competition. Right.

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You know, we have supply lines in this country, entrenched poverty and groups that have been explicitly kept out of, you know, equity through government action and all kinds of other ways. If you reanimate those supply lines and, You strengthen. Totally. Don't think of it as diversity. Think of it as emerging markets.

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People Are Nuts would be a good title for the book. But Nick, so you just gave me in many ways the perfect segue kind of into our conversation, because I think I want to talk to you about Doge and how you're feeling about that, the Trump administration, all those things. But first, I think I've always been libertarian. Curious if that would be the right. Every comedian is, right?

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Think of it as that. And suddenly, you view it as an engine of economic growth.

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It's the second time on The Daily Show that I have broken a drinking vessel. The first one was glass. The second was ceramic for those who thought I should have had a breakaway mug. Yeah, now you tell me. Ceramic is one of my least favorite materials to have embedded in my skin. But I bled out. It really, for a comedian, is humiliating. And I say that

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Veterans have been walled off in many ways. Women were walled off. People in... Poverty-stricken neighborhoods are walled off. Appalachia has been walled off forever. To me, that's what inclusion and diversity and equity means.

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Because they're doing what they can, not what they should. What they're allowed to do is you can't address those shriveled supply lines and reanimate them and get those communities involved. So here's what we're going to let you do. We're going to let you have an office on the eighth floor. And every April, you're going to give us a presentation for two hours that everybody hates. How about that?

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Yeah. And that's what we're doing. Are you excited about that project of Doge? Do you think it will bear fruit?

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which by the way, I think it does do. I think it mostly ignores it. Almost every department there has to be audited. Only defense doesn't pass them, but they do do that.

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The question is, what are the metrics they're looking for? I just don't know yet if they're actually looking at Yeah. Or they're just looking at size.

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The very people who are doing it.

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I think you would probably have to be.

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Until the shit hits the bed. The problem with government, that using sort of first principles of business, like when I look at Elon, right?

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What he's been able to accomplish, like however you want to feel about him, It's pretty fucking remarkable. Yeah, totally. But it's a different ethos. You have to blow up a shit ton of rockets before you figure out the right way. And the problem in the public sphere is the public demands agility and also perfection. Do you know what I mean?

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It's sort of like the same way with our criminal justice system. I totally agree. We demand...

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But here's what I always come up against, and you just brought it up. Years ago, there was a lot of lead in kid cereal. And- through government regulation, the lead was removed. So how do you square that kind of essential tension?

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That's going to be problematic. I'll go beyond that, Nick. I think it's actually the bigger problem is it's ideologically antagonistic. that they are viewing those people immediately through the prism of a parasitic relationship to our money and viewing them immediately as enemies and suspicious.

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And even in the sense of when they sent the email, it is in no way an unreasonable expectation that people who work for you you would want to know what they're doing and that they've been doing something. But if you don't work in that department and just say to them, what have you been doing? And they tell you, you don't know if that's what they're supposed to be doing or not.

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Meanwhile, they have to spend all this fucking time figuring it out, which is inefficient.

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That's your breakfast conversation? What's that, over Eggos? What are we talking about, Nick? Have you guys run out of shit to talk about?

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Wait, is that really true?

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Oh, congratulations.

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Oh, I think there's great opportunity, and I agree with you with that. Yeah. No, and I think it's true. And listen, I think one of the things I would say is a lot of people, I think you and I included, agree with a lot of the diagnoses. Yeah.

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That we look at these issues and we say it's sclerotic, or I would look at it as there's a really tough counterbalance now in that democracy is a, by nature, kind of analog system, and we live in a digital world, and those tensions are really hard to resolve. Right. But I would say in that moment, probably the conversation is about the remedies.

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And I'm looking at it right now with great fear that this is not the remedy that will bring that opportunity for that moment.

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Honestly, it feels like he's never not been president. I don't remember – I don't know. I've said this before. The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the people.

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But apparently the developer of Gaza?

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Apparently we shouldn't be the world's policemen, but we should just annex territories and build casinos there.

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Because that's how history works.

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I'm old enough to remember when Fukuyama said history was over.

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We were just done. We had triumphed. It was over.

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But state-run capitalism is not free markets, and that would be antithetical to everything that you're – and the more we become like Russia, the less we become like the free markets that I think –

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Is that really true? That's actually very surprising to me.

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This is what I want to happen for the United States. I want there to be these, as we talked earlier, I want those entrenched places of poverty. I think those are great, untapped engines of progress.

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Well, there's a purity test and a litmus testing in almost everything.

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Well, it's funny. It's almost like we have a parliamentary country in a two-party government. And it makes it, like you say, it really makes it incredibly complex. But I'd love to have the conversation again. We'll pick it up again to see where everything's been going.

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Always so cheery. Is there a budget for that? The always cheery Nick Gillespie as the jersey comes out of him. Editor-at-large of The Reason Magazine, host of The Reason interview with Nick Gillespie podcast. Nick, thank you so much for spending the time today. Really, really enjoyed it.

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Thanks, man. We are back. We're joined by Lauren Walker, Jillian Speer, Brittany Mamedovic. By the way, I love talking to that guy. I felt like I was, he's so smart and he's got such a breadth of knowledge. And even though we obviously like disagree on, especially I thought the biggest one was exploitation of capitalism being exploitative. That surprised me.

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I never, I do think it's an engine of prosperity, but it very clearly has losers. So, but I thought it was a very interesting conversation and I very much enjoyed it.

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I don't know that there is one.

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It's whatever you want it to be.

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Hey, look, and in this world order now, it's like Andrew Tate is the libertarian king. Yeah, I don't think that's what they're talking about. I think it's like a different philosophy. But he's an OG.

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It's clear there's a real intellect. Anybody who's coming at you with Friedman and Hayek as the foundation of what they're talking about isn't just in it for the dank Pepe the Frog memes.

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bars. Jillian, put that on a pillow. I like that very much. Brittany, are people just writing in today to see if I'm still alive? Because it appears the fragility of when you cut your finger. I literally got a call from my mom. They're like, are you okay? I'm like, you were with me in childhood. I ran headfirst into trees. What are you talking about, woman?

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When you're anemic to begin with.

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Please.

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I did it again today.

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Why? What do they think is, is it too cliched? Is it trite? What's the issue you think?

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Okay.

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That is true.

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Wait, I got to say though, it'd be a drinking game over a period of months, which seems like a long time to keep a drink. I wish they had put in there why. So now I don't know if they think that's,

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incorrect or just overused overused definitely like it's sort of like when you're trying to make something happen and then it doesn't happen like fetch yes it's my version of fetch uh but maybe that he'll write back and and and tell us or after listening to this uh episode he may be too drunk where else have them to keep it coming where how can they keep it coming

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Bang on. Guys, thank you, as always, for the incredible preparation and detail that you provide in every episode that allows me to just sit and talk to somebody. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear.

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And as always, our executive producers, Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Guys, thank you so much. That was a really fun episode. And I will see you all next week. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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By Nixon, who would be considered at this point, I think, like a gay leftist for Nader. You know what I mean? We've so shifted in terms of the paradigm.

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DDT and all those other things, yeah.

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You know, when there is a true commons- That you think the market won't address. Like there's too many externalities. Right. And so if the market won't address it, the free market, that's a place where in your mind, you're able to come in. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense.

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Listen, Nick, you and I grew up at the same time in Jersey. I'm sure you did what I did, which is ride your bicycle behind mosquito trucks. We didn't even get excited about the ice cream man coming. No. It was when the mosquito guy- He had a pickup truck with a giant fucking fire hose of who knows what. And we would ride our bikes behind it and be like, this smells interesting.

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. I come to you today broken, but not bound. For I had an owie on my finger. I'm going to show it now. You probably, I wrapped it up. I heard it on the show doing my classic brand of physical slapstick comedy that never works and always gets me hurt.

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Just let it wash over us.

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Because the greats, the Buster Keatons, the Charlie Chaplains, Buster Keaton would stand, you know, in front of a house with a little window cut out. It would fall on his head. Harold Lloyd would hang off of a clock with no net. I nearly died. being vociferous with a coffee mug.

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Sully's free market.

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With DDT, if I may- Pick the DDT, and then I'll go back to the sort of more macro view, and then we'll get into sort of what's happening today.

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Silent Spring, sure.

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But it's really difficult right now, Nick, to make those choices and balances, especially now, because you bring up the point about DDT and you're right. I mean, it was an incredibly effective killer of mosquitoes, which were causing malaria and all kinds of disease. But then it was found to have mutagenic properties and cancer properties and-

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It does not speak well of the legends of my business, but I don't imagine they ever had to have their sets childproofed. Can I tell you what's not smart to do when you have a cut? Hold it below your heart for 20 minutes. Because it really does, it just makes your whole arm a straw. And it just all just flows out. And it makes it look way worse than when I picked it back up to look at it.

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Which was invented to make the Gremlin feel better about itself, as you know.

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I had a Gremlin. Yeah. I was the idiot who worked his whole fucking high school career to buy an $800 off-brown Gremlin. Yeah. Just to find out it's front heavy and making a left meant you fishtailed into the neighbor's yard. So it was a nightmare.

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A simple time when cars were cars and segregation was allowed. Yeah. All right. Going to take a quick break. Be right back. Hey, we're back.

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But let's talk about that central tension because I think here's where I probably have the hardest time embracing kind of the foundational philosophy, which would be kind of the way that Jeff Bezos is going with the Washington Post now, personal liberty and free markets. And this is the part that's hardest for me because in my formulation, right? Right.

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One of the greatest limiters of personal liberties oftentimes turns out to be free markets.

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And he blew up the Bamiyan Buddhists. He was the guy that did all this. And he's back again. So if you wanted a symbol of how little we achieved, we literally invaded the country to get rid of the Taliban. We spent 20 years. We spent over a trillion dollars, a thousand billion dollars. And then we hand the country back to the Taliban again.

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In that sense, of course, Trump's got a point, and I could add to that. Of course, I ran the British International Development Institution, and I could see there was so much wrong. You were obviously being tongue-in-cheek when you were talking about government efficiency. Of course, government's massively inefficient, and I could see all the problems with USAID.

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generally fucked and that the trade war is apparently now this is going to be such an interesting houdini-esque uh escape from these utterly disastrous self-inflicted tariffs you saw trump today in a press conference well nah you know china they they've got to make a deal they've got to do it and so because they have to make the deal and because everybody's kissing my ass even

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But what's happened now is we live in such a binary world that there's not much room for the Stewart brothers to say, well, yeah, government screwed up and it was inefficient and we've got to reform it, we've got to do It's all now either you're 100% behind USAID and it was the most wonderful liberal institution in the world, or shut it down, turn off the computer, cut all the funding worldwide.

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So it's the sense of... And this is where I think you want to call out Trump and Musk. It's the bad faith that initially people thought, well, maybe they've got a point here. And here are some recommendations I could make to make government a bit more efficient. But of course, they don't care about any of that stuff.

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Well, no, and I think they do it. Where I think it goes wrong is the conflation with USAID and American hubris and adventurism overseas. The arrogance of we will spread democracy to Afghanistan and they will embrace it and we will be famously viewed as liberators in Iraq, and it will all work out.

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And so I think to lump in programs that are distributing medicines to poverty-stricken children with HIV with a foreign policy that seeks to impose a worldview that may be alien to those areas and to enforce it Same thing with COVID. You know, you can go from, you may think that these governments overreached and that they did certain things, but a lot of it might've been in very good faith.

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But ultimately, when you begin to erode your belief in the civic institutions and the infrastructure that upholds them, they become vulnerable to demagogues. Look, Brexit went first. You guys were the first ones to say- With the canaries in the mine, yeah. All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

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And I think the way that I look at it is that there were three things that defined the world after 1989. There was an idea of liberal democracy, and the number of democracies in the world literally doubled between 88 and 2003. The second one was this idea of globalization, free trade, open markets. The third one was this rules-based international order, UN interventions in Bosnia, et cetera.

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Something happened between about 2004 and 2014. All those things were discredited. 2008 financial crisis wrecked our faith in markets. Iraq and Afghanistan wrecked our faith in these kind of international interventions. The rise of China. We don't remember. Most people don't remember. In 2004, the Chinese economy was smaller than the Italian economy.

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It was the seventh largest economy in the world.

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100%. So as China explodes and becomes within 10 years the world's largest manufacturer and exporter, it doesn't become a democracy. So by 2014... We've got that, and we've got the rise of social media. Put all those things together, and then it's very remarkable. You talked about Brexit, but it's not just Brexit. 2014, Narendra Modi is elected in India. 2014, Putin takes Crimea.

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2014, ISIS goes across the Mosul border. 2015, far-right party elected in Poland.

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Erdogan also becomes a much more autocratic leader.

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Exactly. This is Erdogan's route. 2016, Trump's elected for the first time. So the world is beginning to change very, very quickly. And now we've entered with Trump to the kind of shadow world.

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though no deals are done. I'm probably just going to, you know, remove the tariffs at some point, having nothing to do with the fact that yesterday I sat down with Target and Walmart and all the big box stores and they were like, you're fucking killing us. We are the only thing keeping the economy going for cheap goods and we will have nothing on our shelves in like a week.

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So if I go through those three things, liberal democracies become authoritarianism, free trades become protectionism, rules-based international order has become the strong will do what they will and the weak must suffer what they must.

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Do you think that this is then self-correcting pendulum swings, right? So the overreach of, let's say, liberal democracies who follow the USSR and all of those Eastern European countries becoming more democratic – these are natural swings because it's not as though these, you know, more autocratic societies function better.

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And, you know, with China, it was really their entry into the WTO, but China was going to grow anyway. Is it maybe a failure of expectation that, of the people in these countries, we believe things to want to be more successful than they are or should be. Is it our expectations that are out of whack? Or is it a natural cycle of kind of pendulum swings that go along in terms of these disruptions?

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Or is it a failure of our societies to adequately remedy the unforeseen collateral damage of some of these swings? And I know that's a hugely broad question, and you can take any one of those.

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Well, I think it's four things. I think it's power. I think it's America. I think it's the modern age and its ideology. And what do I mean by that? I mean that 1889 to 2004, America has defeated the Soviet Union. It is completely unchallenged. China is still a minnow. Right. in the world. And power leads to overreach. You're like, we've done this in Bosnia, we've done this in Warsaw.

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Hey, hey, go easy, settle down. The second one is America. And of course, America is a country based on can-do. I remember arguing with American officials in Afghanistan, and I would say, you literally, you can't do this. H.R. McMasters was trying to eliminate all corruption from the Afghan government. He's the guy that went on to be Trump's national security advisor. I said, you can't do it.

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The answer was always, we're American. Don't give us problems, give us solutions. What is it we need to do? Is it we need more troops? Is it we need more money? When I said there was a document that was circulating, this is honestly true. The European governments signed up to a statement by Ashraf Ghani, who became the Afghan president, and it ran as follows.

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Every Afghan is committed to a gender-sensitive, multi-ethnic, centralized state based on democracy, human rights, and the rule of law. You think it's funny. I think it's funny.

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But at the time- I remember that. Hamid Karzai had on his resume, he, him. I think I remember that.

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Yeah, yeah. No, but I mean, why did we not realize at the time how grotesque this was? So that's partly about America. Then I think there's the point about the modern world, which is that we are in a world of instant gratification. When I was waiting for you to come on, I was scheduling my Uber Eats. And I don't want someone to tell me that it's going to take time or it's complicated.

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I want it now, right? Progress. Yeah. And then the final thing is ideology. I think we thought that democracy had won and we couldn't see that we were in this funny, funny little bubble. and that most of the world wasn't really going in that direction. Even these words didn't mean the same to different people. I remember feeling this. I worked part of my life in Indonesia and in Africa.

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We call a hundred different countries democracies. In some cases, it means it's Sweden. In other cases, it just means there's been a vote, but there's a bunch of corrupt autocratic bureaucrats who aren't paying any attention to anyone.

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You're going to see a run on toilet paper that would make the COVID era panic seem like a stroll in the park, for God's sakes. And somehow they'll pull off the feat of saying this was the plan the whole time and what a brilliant strategy it was to tank the global economy for as long as he did while still getting nothing out of it. Meanwhile, overseas, who the hell knows?

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No, that makes it makes total sense. And I think the thing that America had a difficult time reconciling is we can't remove corruption from our country. Right. Let alone. So when you hold other places that you're going into and the other side of it is interventionism takes many forms. And we've tried soft power, you know, as they say, classically soft power, hard power.

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economic sanctions, all those things. None of it seems to be particularly foolproof in terms of influence and good outcomes. We've tried lightly bombing countries to decapitate their autocratic leadership, and that turns them into godforsaken hellholes of warlordism. We've tried toppling them with our magnificent army and then holding those countries together

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with the sinewy textures of our nation building engineers. That doesn't seem to work. What we haven't learned how to do is to manage the expectations and dynamics to create little harm. I'll go even further.

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I think we caused a lot of this populist turn by destabilizing the Middle East and causing a great deal of migration that ended up going into, you know, globalization and all these other ideals are now being challenged by the idea of the nation state.

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Yeah. John, so I think you're absolutely right. But I think we need to guard against too much despair. Yes. The risk is that the right thinks we don't want to having to do with other countries because we don't like poor people in other countries. The left can begin to think a bit like you're saying now, well, we screw it all up anyway. So maybe best we stay at home. We don't do anything.

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Of course, the truth is that under American leadership since the Second World War, and particularly in that 89 to 2014 period, every year the world got more prosperous, more peaceful, there were fewer refugees, there were fewer internally displaced people, more democratic governments. And the big success, which we don't talk about enough, is Europe.

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If you look at countries like Romania and Lithuania in 1989, they were very, very poor autocratic states. They are now prosperous liberal democracies. But it requires something that is quite different from the kind of intervention you're talking about. It requires really rich carrots and sticks, and it requires patience. So how did This miracle for these dozen countries in Eastern Europe worked.

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It worked because they had the carrot of being able to join the European Union. They had very, very generous structural funds over a long time. Their population believed in it. They had a reason to get behind it. Let's give U.S. a bit of credit for the direction that Japan went in, South Korea went in, Taiwan went in. But partly it was because you haven't talked about it very much.

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I mean, how many of your listeners know that you've still got 25,000 soldiers in South Korea, right?

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All of them, because our listeners are very, very well informed. So keep going for that 60 years.

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And the truth is you went through South Korea being a pretty poor military authoritarian Texas government to what it is now, which is one of the most vibrant, interesting, dynamic, liberal countries on earth. There's a lot of stuff which has gone in the right direction since the Second World War, while the US has been right at the center of this system.

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I want to keep making the argument for that odd combination that American soft and even hard power, those 25,000 troops, can push things in the right direction, but it requires, I think, a couple of things. One of them is patience. The second thing is don't talk to the American people too much about it. Turns out the places which are going best are the places you never mention. How dare you, sir?

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I think you could be right. I mean, the fact you don't talk about South Korea is part of the trick, right? You had 2,500 soldiers in Afghanistan, no casualties for 18 months. You could have continued doing that forever, but you talked about it so much, Biden felt he needed to go big or bust. You don't think that was South Korea?

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Well, there has been, though. For a long time, there's... And again... This is now the Trump kind of play of victimhood is that South Korea has used us. All these countries, by not militarizing, by using our defense as a shield and creating stability for themselves, were able to focus their resources on this economic development.

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So they've done great, but we've suffered desperately because of that, because we're being forced to, you know, nobody ever talks about that. We like our influence being global. We have more than 750 military bases. Nobody made us build those. We did that. That was us. And as much as we wanna pull back, our defense department is getting a raise again.

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Will the EU move towards China? Will Russia just be able to consume Ukraine in the way that they want to? We just have no idea. This is a failure on all levels. The first hundred days have been nothing but sturm and drang and noise signifying nothing. And it doesn't have to be this way.

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It's gonna be a trillion dollar defense bill because we're gonna build a golden dome and we're gonna do all these other things. I continue to believe this, and I wonder if you feel the same way about the UK, that the issue in our country is not trade or trade deficits or all these other things.

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It's that we were unable to properly distribute and reinvest the gigantic wealth that has been generated in this country over these past 30 or 40 years. into effective, competent change in our own country.

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That's completely right, John. So the story of Reagan and the story of Thatcher was that by releasing the markets, we were going to generate growth. And you did. Trickle down, baby. Yeah, you generated incredible growth. I mean, I think one of the things that's difficult to understand in the US debate is you are all thinking about

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Well, the reason Trump came to power is that the American economy is relatively weak and that what Trump's doing is going around the world saying, we've been taken for a sucker and they're all getting rich at our expense. Of course, the rest of us have spent the last five years looking at you thinking you're an economic miracle. Right.

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Europe's economy was the same size as the American economy 10 years ago. You're now 50% bigger than us. So we look at you and we're like, wow. Then the question is, how do you reconcile that with how somebody feels in Dayton, Ohio, who's voting for Trump? How does this make sense? On the one hand, the American economy is going gangbusters. You've got the seven largest companies in the world.

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You've got 70% of all global equities in the United States, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And yet a lot of people feel their lives are very underwhelming, very disappointing. They're struggling with cost of living.

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So here's where it gets tricky, Rory. because you're right. And by the way, the difficulties in those industrialized or I should say de-industrialized areas is very real. Those folks have much harder lives now as we can't compete with China's low wage and low regulation environment that creates those and it did hollow it out.

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But part of the issue there in terms of the political pressure is it almost invariably occurred in our

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small swing state there's only five states that matter in this country because of our electoral college generally states are blue or the red there's some purple states that are still in contention they are almost all suffering from de-industrialization so that because here's you could make another slogan in our country and it's called nobody gives a shit about oregon Yeah.

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Because if Oregon was the swing state, then their issues, which would not be deindustrialization, they'd be something else, would be the ones that dominate our policy and our public discussion. You know, if Iowa was a swing state, we would all be talking about tariffs on any hog producing countries that might be going along. So this is an outsized response to a narrowly focused geographic issue.

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Sure. Boom. Taking a quick break. We shall be back.

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So many of their policy goals could be achievable in non-chaotic terms, and yet they seem incapable of playing that out. Fucking madness. But we're going to get the view from Europe today with our guest, which I'm very excited about. Quite a Renaissance gentleman that we have joining us on the program today. Delighted to have him. Ladies and gentlemen, delighted today, the Stewart brothers.

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2015.796

Well, let's look at this problem with democracy, right? Whoa, hey. Tread lightly, sir. This is an issue in Brexit. So I present The Rest is Politics, which is the UK's biggest podcast. And the question that comes almost every week to us is, why are we not rejoining the European Union? And people point out that something like 65% of the British public now think Brexit was a mistake. Hmm.

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So it seemed like a no-brainer, right? 65% of the public think Brexit's a mistake. We'll rejoin the European Union, particularly when America's getting a bit erratic. Why don't we get closer to our European allies? But the problem is the problem you've just identified. Labour and Conservative, two main parties, are fighting about this tiny group of states called the Red Wall.

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And those people, and they're mostly in de-industrialized areas, voted to leave the European Union. And so although Keir Starmer, the prime minister, and his entire cabinet voted to remain in the European Union, thought Brexit was a horrible idea,

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They're not moving even a millimeter closer to even soft versions, like rejoining a customs union or anything with Europe, because they're worried about those few swing voters.

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And what will happen is Reform UK will primary everybody from the right, and they'll be the ones that, I mean, I don't think Labour's in trouble with that, but I would imagine that the Tories will be consumed.

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So this is another way in which we all are a bit American. So this is a story in Canada. It's a story in Australia. It's a story in the United Kingdom. It's a story in Germany. You know, Germany, the far right now, the AFD, which is this party that Musk was getting behind, this neo-fascist party, now up at 26% of the polls. It's the biggest party in the polls. Right.

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And I was a conservative member of parliament. Yes.

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After having been a member of the Liberal Party.

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Yeah, exactly. The Labour Party. And I don't know where my, you know, my politics in US terms is probably a little bit to the left of Hillary Clinton.

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Makes you a conservative.

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I'm not full Bernie Sanders, right? And when Boris Johnson became prime minister, I was so horrified. I mean, the guy's a complete, he's a terrible human being. He was clearly going to be a terrible prime minister.

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But a wonderful zipline photo op.

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Yeah, he's a funny buffoon. He's a good clown, right? I mean, it's the age of clowns in politics. He's a funny guy. Trump maybe can also be quite funny sometimes. I mean, that's part of the problem with these people. I mean, you're funnier than both of them, but they're quite funny. They're quite good television performers, right?

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Yeah, no, they're charismatic, but they play into a real sense of grievance. That is real. The problem with a good diagnostician is they also have to be a good fixer. And that's where we're starting to see the chaos unroll.

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And a couple of things there. So I and 21 of my colleagues, would not put up with Boris pushing ahead with a hard Brexit. And we resigned. We left Parliament, which is one of the reasons I've been a bit puzzled by why my Republican senator and Congress people friends were not doing the same with Trump. I cannot understand what they're doing.

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I mean, they say to me, well, you know, I'd lose my seat. Well, we all gave up our seats to protest against Boris Johnson. So why are they not prepared to risk their seats to protest against Trump?

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I'm sorry, did you just say, are they not prepared to risk their seats? Is that... Are you suggesting that self-interest and self-preservation should not be the sole motivation for... Listen, Donald Trump has a hold on his constituency I can't honestly think of, even Reagan did not have, you know, they keep talking about cancel culture.

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The real cancel culture in this country is anybody who might speak out against Donald Trump, who might be on the right, is immediately fired. There was a gentleman, this just recently happened, there was a gentleman who was full MAGA, Pentagon spokesperson. He wrote an op-ed about the chaos going on in the Department of Defense. Donald Trump Jr. just put out a statement

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This man is excommunicated. This man has been exiled from the MAGA. You can be cast out. It's Thunderdome. Mad Max, you must wander the desert. It's a bizarre purity test.

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It's incredible. And for me, as a conservative who's turned against this, you see it very directly. So I had J.D. Vance tweeting against me and saying, or he said, I've always said that Rory thinks he's got an IQ of 130, but actually he's got an IQ of 110.

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That's it. Reunited, Rory Stewart, nay Leibowitz. Brothers from a different mother, co-host of The Rest is Politics, but truly an enlightenment gentleman, author, former MP, former minister. We're excited to have you discussing things with us today, Rory.

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That's right. By the way, I loved the specificity of that. It's good, isn't it? You think it's 130, but it's 110. And most people are like, 110 is pretty good. I would take 110. That's what I thought.

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Thank you.

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5,000, 6,000 replies. And I'm trying to get in a fight with J.D. Vance about my interpretation of Christianity and his interpretation of Christianity. But most of the response that you get is you wouldn't be able to beat him in a push-up competition.

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He will punch you in the face, sir. Exactly. You know, the amazing thing is the issue with them is they believe their IQs are 180. Right. And they're 110. You know, there's an infallibility. Now, what's happening right now,

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will test their ability to the reality distortion field that they have been able to project that's been really effective at inoculating them against any kind of accountability or criticism is really going to be pushed here because of this trade war. There is nothing that they pushed more vehemently. There is nothing that they described more

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in starker terms as being the medicine that was necessary to reverse the

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victimization that americans writ large have faced in the world and you are watching it crumble the president sat down with the heads of target and walmart and and other big box stores and they were like hey man i just want to let you know uh in two weeks we are going to be out of shit like you are going to see empty and all of a sudden and then the bond market went crazy and treasuries you know

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The dollar is weakening. Treasuries aren't being bought up as much as the safe haven. And all of a sudden today, Donald Trump said, you know, I'm thinking actually, you know, all these people are kissing my ass to make deals. I'm thinking I'm just going to drop the tariffs to like 40%, 50%. I don't know. You know what? China has to make a deal. So why not just drop all the tariffs?

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Because they have to. And I'm wondering, will this be the moment that finally they go, oh, The man behind the curtain isn't brilliant, doesn't have the answers, or will there be just another reality distortion kind of moment for them?

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John, I mean, again, you know far more about the US, but from the European and international perspective, we are in a real existential crisis here. I mean, for the first time in 70 or 80 years, Europeans are asking themselves, maybe we need to be closer to China than the US. I mean, it's mad, right? There is no moral equivalence between China and even Donald Trump's US.

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Yeah, I just can't see that being an option. I just can't. And yet, it's happening. And China, basically, China had one objective over the last 20 years, which is to break the link between the US and its allies. As did Russia, same thing. Absolutely. And you can see Xi Jinping, the Chinese premier, has been touring around Southeast Asia.

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Usually he doesn't say anything, but the last week he's been saying, I'm going to be your reliable ally. You can see op-eds appearing in the Chinese newspapers about how Europe needs to reach out to China.

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Rory, you are obviously, you know, your career as an author and as a minister, you're so ensconced in politics as well as broadcasting and all these other things. We just thought you'd be a great person to give us a broad perspective on the view from overseas towards America. As you know, America, we're very shy. We don't like people to think about us. That's right, John. Famously shy.

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we're going to get great offers on Chinese electric vehicles, which is going to make a lot of sense to us because they'll be very cheap and it will help us in the energy transition and poor people in Europe are struggling to afford electric vehicles, which we're forcing them to buy. So all this is happening, right? And it's completely bewildering.

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So we're praying that the world is going to right itself. We're praying that the old United States that we used to know is coming back, and that in the end, the institutions of the United States, the midterms, and of course, sadly, in the middle of this, it's a really sad thing.

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People are slightly thinking, well, I kind of hope he screws up the global economy because that might finally destroy him. People are thinking, well, the one thing Hitler didn't do is screw up the economy. He was quite good at creating jobs.

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Well, that's the authoritarian bargain. The authoritarian bargain. You can disappear the unpopular, you can get rid of the immigrants and the trans and the thing, but the trains, really?

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You've got to get the trains running on time, yeah. So Trump is very interesting. If he can be the first proto-fascist who turns out to be entirely economically illiterate and completely incompetent and totally able to drive up prices in the United States, crash the stock market, destroy America's position as the world's reserve currency. And it's felt by people, right? It's felt in Medicare.

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It's felt in Medicaid. I mean, I'm talking to you from Yale University. Obviously, the average voter does not particularly care what happens to an Ivy League university or even USAID or many of the stuff I care about, Voice of America, the Wilson Center. I mean,

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All the things that have been holding our great country back.

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That's right. And the tariff thing. I mean, I spend so much time talking to colleagues in Switzerland, in Europe, in Southeast Asia, in China about this. And it is... I mean, your listeners will understand that Trump is saying four completely contradictory things. He's saying these tariffs are going to generate a huge amount of money for the US government.

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No more taxes, all the money from tariffs. That's right. It's the most beautiful word in the English language.

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Exactly. We're going to import all this stuff from China. And second thing is it's going to create lots of jobs, right? That's the opposite. That's we're not importing things from China. We're going to make them here, in which case you don't get the tax revenue, right? Third thing he's saying is, no, no, no. These are temporary things which are being used to achieve something else, right?

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They're being used to get a concession on fentanyl from Canada or Mexico.

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Sure. Canada has been flooding us with over $40 worth of fentanyl over the last 10 years.

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So that's a completely different theory. That's like, I'm not actually going to keep tariffs. I'm not going to get the revenue from it. I'm not going to get the jobs from it. I'm just using it to stop the fentanyl coming in. And then the fourth theory, which seems to be going with China, is I'm using it to damage somebody else's economy. It's like sanctions. I'm just punching them.

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And I'm going to take some damage in my own economy, but they're going to feel it more. Walmart will feel the pressure, but China macroeconomics will feel it more. He may be right, but then there's a whole question about Who's got more political resilience? Xi Jinping with his people or Donald Trump with his people as the painter inflicts it on these two economies in different ways?

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I think we're seeing right now how it's changing.

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And so just, I mean, that's a kind of overly complicated way. As soon as you, I learned as a politician, as soon as you have four points, you've lost everybody. But the first one was good enough, Rory.

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I was riveted by the first one. I don't remember any of the rest of it. But let me ask you this then. So, but China, look, nobody is going to trust. They have the same problem that Trump has. When, when you are creating something out of executive action, you are not creating something lasting through legislation and people understand that that has less stability.

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So a new president comes in four years from now and, immediately reverses it. And so nobody is going to reshore the factories that were going to cost billions of dollars. But so the question is this though, you keep saying, you know, 70, 80 years post-war stability, as Bannon would say, these are the great turnings, the 70 to 80 year great turnings. This is the new one. So what is the new turning?

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Because it's very clear that the populist leaders are, have a very different view. They have a nation state. Look, in the old days, it was democracy versus authoritarianism or capitalism versus communism. Now, it's woke versus unwoke. It's Purity versus multiculturalism, meritocracy versus DEI.

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Famously shy. Yeah. And obviously, I don't want to start on a confrontational note. And these conversations should be civil, and we're going to try and keep it that way. But Rory, here in America, we're wondering, why is Europe so hostile? Why do they use us so? Why... The UK, the EU, why do they victimize America to such an extent? It's hurtful, Rory.

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Now, I don't buy that any of those things are real in the way that they are portrayed, but that seems to be the organizing principle. And how do you create stability out of that? And can the EU and the UK be the leaders of that old democratic order? Or will they fall prey to the same pressures? Will Russia and the United States be able to split Europe like they're doing now?

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Yeah. Well, I think first thing is you've made a really important point, which is the world's changed. We've entered this funny shadow world. And basically what we're looking at is a new form of fascism, really. I mean, fundamentally, these people, it doesn't matter whether it's Erdogan or it's some of the people around Trump or it's Narendra Modi.

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These are people who think, like many people did in the 1920s and 30s, that liberal democracy was kind of weak and indecisive and incompetent and it failed people.

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I think Musk said that empathy is the world's biggest problem.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, like you, I was talking to Ezra Klein recently, and the whole world's been talking to Ezra Klein. I think you made that joke.

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Kids everywhere. He's like Chalamet promoting a Dylan biopic. You can't get rid of him.

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It is like that. Exactly. You can't get rid of him anyway. Anyway, one of his points is he thinks that Musk was motivated by the fact that he felt that his employees were rude to him.

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and that they kept asking for empathy and that a lot of this rage with DEI and wokeism is just Musk and other tech bros feeling that the people who work for their companies were not obedient enough to the great leader. That's interesting. Anyway, this idea...

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that we're going to come in, we're going to bring in strong men, and they're going to be efficient, they're going to get stuff done, and we don't care too much about all that other stuff. And in their mind, it's all nonsense and inefficiency.

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It might be woke, it might be law. But also that they're going to reclaim something. They're going to reclaim their country's default setting. The default setting of America being white, Christian, and male. The default setting of Germany being Germans. The

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You know, isn't there something that it's a it's a reset seeking to change what the Great Society or the New Deal or any of those other kinds of migratory globalistic, you know, It's a reset.

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It's a reset, and it's a reset that has two particular implications. The first is corruption, which I think you talk about a lot, which is these regimes foster corruption. I mean, tariffs is a very good example. Tariffs are a lovely thing for Trump because each individual business has to come on bended knees and ask for a little exemption, right?

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The second thing that it breeds is violence and conflict. So you mentioned Germany. The AFD in Germany... say that there are real Germans and they do an analysis, which basically in their ideology says that Muslims are not real Germans. And that includes German citizens who are Muslims. And they have this idea of re-migration, which basically means you push them out of the country. Of citizens?

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Of citizens. And this is true in Austria too. These parties have a full ideology where they've actually counted the number of people from different countries that should be They say we don't want zero Afghans, but in a Germany of 100 million, we think there should be 300. They've counted the numbers. It's very, very weird.

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Can those people have families? It's capped at 300.

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I think it's capped at 300. Maybe if you get above it, you leave again. And actually, the Austrian far right, Kikl's far right, has been very clear about this, that this will extend to citizens as well. Now, why does this lead to violence? It leads to violence because it questions the fundamental idea since the Second World War, which is the equality of everybody's rights.

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that it doesn't matter whether you're Muslim or white, you have the same rights. Once you question that, then other things become more likely. And this is where it gets dangerous, because then you begin to think, well, you know, I should add a little bit to my territory here.

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And look at the way that Trump thinks about Greenland as an example of this, because I think other leaders are going to begin behaving like this. What's so strange about it is that he doesn't even have the grace to lie or be a hypocrite. So you talked about Timothee Chalamet. Timothee Chalamet is being Henry V, right? Yes.

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It is, and you're right. And this is what J.D. Vance wants to know and all those wonderful signal chats. Why are we so mean to you? Why have we been bullying you for such a long time? Why, Rory?

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He's going off to France, and he's at least pretending that he has a legal claim to France. You know, his dad's mom's dad was actually the king of France. Yes. And when Hitler's invading Poland, he's at least faking a border incident, claiming he's responding to the Poles attacking him. What's odd about Trump and Greenland is there's no moral or legal excuse at all. He just says, I want it.

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I've got the troops. I've got the money. Give it to me. And that collapse... of international legal frameworks, morality, is very unusual. I mean, it's taking us back almost a thousand years. It's the mentality of a warlord.

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No question. No question. But I think they are underestimating the role that stability plays in the economic successes of the last 70 or 80 years. And I think liberal democracies were underestimating the role that immigration or uncontrolled immigration played in that stability. There's a difference between recognizing human equality and not controlling democracy.

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borders and i do understand you welcome people but there has to be the biggest problem in immigration in this country is that our system is just utterly broken there are no rules they're bringing getting green cards you could be here for 40 years you could be here we don't know how many people we want to have in we don't you know by not being able to successfully articulate and execute policies

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That's really the simple question.

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we make ourselves vulnerable to these other kinds of disruptions, which are far more existential.

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No, that's right. I mean, it's an amazing flip, isn't it?

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Yes. And I didn't quite get onto your point about Europe. Immigration, uncontrolled immigration, is the number one reason for the rise of the far right in Europe. And unless mainstream centrist parties can come up with serious policies on how to be humane, generous, but also control immigration.

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How to say, we're going to take asylum seekers, but we're going to be realistic about the numbers we're going to take. These are going to be the criteria. We're going to share the burden across Europe. If you can't do that, you're dead. If you can do that, this is an incredible opportunity for Europe. That's right. Astonishing opportunity. Astonishing.

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J.D.

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Vance sometimes wakes up in the morning and thinks the United States is this incredible global superpower that's going to tell China what to do. And in other moods, he's like, oh, we're the victimized kid on the playground. Everybody's stealing our lunch money. These horrible Europeans.

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Suddenly, we can be what we haven't been for a very long time, which is stand up and be serious about these values, which are at the heart of the European Union. You know, we talk a lot about democracy. We talk a lot about equality. And of course, Musk wants to suggest it's all fraudulent. It's not.

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And particularly in Eastern Europe, where people have been through this experience since 1999, they believe it deeply. Talk to a poll. They really believe this stuff.

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There is room for a law and order liberalism. There is a room for a stable, progressive feeling that is not just based in idealism, but based in infrastructure and based in the idea of real governance that doesn't, you know, one of the problems here on the left is if you're gonna solve one problem, that problem also has to solve every problem.

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If I wanna do housing, that also has to solve global warming. I also think, Boy, this is getting us into a whole other discussion. And I apologize for this, and I really appreciate you taking the time and bringing these insights. But I think that the world's climate policies have been disastrous in a lot of different ways. One of which is the rhetoric of, we cannot get to 1.5 degrees.

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We have six months left. We have eight months left. If we don't change our ways, they're asking human beings, to no longer be progress oriented. I think how many COP conferences has there been? What has it been? 40 now? And then what they would do is say, oh, we'll just put a carbon tax on. Oh, good. Well, in six months when you're voted out of office, let us know how that goes.

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I think we have to rethink how this is all being accomplished.

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Yeah. And John, I mean, the most simple thing in Europe is that most of our environmental policies have been regressive, which means that they've had the biggest impact on the poor. Right. As everything does. Yeah.

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And this is partly because economists have got a perfectly logical argument, which is what you want to do is you want to tax people's carbon consumption or their energy use, because that's going to encourage them to reduce it, right? But of course, who finds the biggest proportion of their income going on filling their vehicle or heating their home? It's the poor, not you and me, right?

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So we are pushing a green transition onto the shoulders of the poor. So this also involves having much bigger conversations about tax, about redistribution, about the kind of societies you want to have. These are not easy. But to return to where I was, I was a working politician. And there's something very odd going on in politics.

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I've written a book, which in the US, it's a title you might like. It's called How Not to Be a Politician. And it's the story of my spending 10 years being a pretty useless politician. But I'm trying to be honest about what it's actually like being a politician. How... totally mad your life is.

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I was trying to get my head around the mentality, but I guess the mentality at the moment feels like from Europe that the Trump administration is obsessed with not being taken for a sucker. They seem to think everybody's kind of ripping them off all the time. Is that right? Yes.

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How much time you're spending wasting fundraising, how much time you're spending trying to negotiate with the whips. Even in the UK? Even in the UK. I mean, it's much worse than the US, but even in the UK.

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When I'm running to be mayor of London, I'm spending a lot of time going to see very, very boring, wealthy people trying to ask them for money and putting up whatever their bee in their bonnets is about residence parking or Israel or whatever they want to talk to me about. I decide I want to minimize the horrors of what's happening with Israel and Gaza at the moment.

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But I'm saying to them, listen, I'm running to be mayor of London. Why are you asking me about my policy on, I don't know, Kashmir? Put that aside. I guess what I'm getting to is we have created a frozen system. Politics feels paralyzed. And one of the reasons you get the Musks and the Trumps is that they are offering to come in with a sledgehammer and smash the whole thing up.

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One of the things I'm trying to get across, I guess, to people who've not been politicians is until you've been in the system, you don't feel how you're just kind of stuck in treacle all the time. You just cannot move. We spend all our time meeting people and reading smart books about how we can transform things. Then when you try to do it, nothing happens. 100 legal reasons, 100 process reasons.

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I found myself as the cabinet minister in charge of budgets of tens of billions of dollars. And it was unbelievably unsatisfying. I felt it was more fulfilling when I was restoring one block in the old city of Kabul in Afghanistan. I ran a nonprofit called Turquoise Mountain, which my wife now runs. It was really exciting and fulfilling.

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And I'm working with a couple of hundred people and getting stuff done. When I'm in charge of a huge government department, the basic answer to almost everything you want to do is, I'm afraid it can't be done. And if it's not your civil servants saying it, it's the polling people. or it's your political leadership saying, no, that's not going to work with this voter or that voter or the other.

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So how do we find energy and responsible energy? Because you began with this, and maybe this is what I want to finish with. When I was running in opposition, I realized that the easiest way to win is you just say, this is all bullshit. These guys are idiots. They've got no idea what they're doing. Look at how crap this is.

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Hey, stop describing my show. Ha ha ha ha.

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That's my job. Exactly. And of course, incredibly tempting, and it works very, very, very well. But of course, it also feeds into all the problems of our modern culture. This kind of Uber Eats mentality, lack of tolerance with complexity or delays, and produces ultimately Trump, or in a smaller version, Boris Johnson, which is the politics of spectacle, the politics of statements.

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It's not really about my boring four points about how his tariff policy undermines itself, right? It's all about claiming. to do something. It's the politics of reality TV. And I think undoing that involves more than just you and me being thoughtful and earnest.

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Donald Trump's re-presidency and the first congressional casualty, Mr. Dick Durbin, Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois. Illinois? Illinois. I like to add the S. Although, what would he plural Illinois? Illinois's? We'll figure it out. He said he is not going to seek re-election. And here's the shocking part. He's only been in Congress, I think, 40-some years. And he's only 80.

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It involves really thinking about the modern world and thinking about our culture, which is quite difficult to look at and the role that things like social media play in our culture, who our heroes are, what our morality is.

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Oh, I don't think there's any question about that. And we have a very powerful man baby at the helm. You know, I think so much of this, what makes it so difficult is that a lot of the ramifications that are being felt economically throughout the world are the product of kind of a psychological wound.

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and a persuasive case to improve those that can have electoral success, because ultimately it almost sounds like you're describing this kind of strange paradox of politicians in incumbent situations who show no courage so that they can keep these jobs that they don't do anything in and get very little satisfaction from. That's the strange part.

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Yeah, and deeply depressing. I mean, most of my colleagues are depressed. Most of them feel their lives are much less than they wanted them to be. Let me finish with one last plug, because I work for an amazing American nonprofit called GiveDirectly. And my slightly awkward link to that is they have a policy of giving unconditional cash transfer to the poorest people in the world.

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Like a microloan kind of a thing, or is this a different- Except they don't ask for the money back.

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Oh. It's just a grant. And the results are spectacular. You turn up in a Rwanda village, three months after they've received literally unconditional cash for every house, and the whole place has been transformed. Electricity's up, everyone's got livestock, the roof's been repaired, the kids are in school. It's unbelievable. But it's an exact example of what we've been talking about all the time.

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The evidence is there, but the politics of it are unbelievably tough. How do you explain to a voter that actually what all the research, all the randomized control studies show that the best way to do international development is to literally just give someone $900 in cash, not monitor them, not ask them what they're going to do. Right. Bottom up, not top down. Yeah.

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And there is another example of amongst, I got hundreds of examples of the fundamental challenges of our society. Decentralization against centralization, bottom against top, and above all, communication.

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And that will be, and listen, your mouth, the God's ears, but this is a moment, as you said earlier, and I appreciate you summing it up in that way, of opportunity. And something is going to be built in the shadow of this chaos. And if we do it right, it's going to be something really lasting that can give the same kind of years of stability and progress.

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And hopefully that emerges from all of this and that we still have podcasts after that happens.

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And that we still have America because we love America. We want you guys back. Come back.

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Come back, America. The perfect way to end it. Rory Stewart, thank you so much for joining us. Obviously, the rest is politics. Please say hello to Alistair and everybody else. And really appreciate you being here and taking the time.

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Thank you for your time. Bye-bye. Bye.

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I don't know any other way to describe a gentleman like that other than delightful.

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I cannot tell you how much I appreciate an accent like that breaking things down. What it is is the four things that will destroy the world are simply this.

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It's terrible. I don't have the accents down, but my God. The other thing is for the life that he's led. you would think there'd be a little more wear and tear on the tires. He was in Afghanistan, a soldier, then MP, minister, writer, teacher. I mean, Jesus.

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that our present leader suffered as a real estate developer from Queens who did not feel that he was given enough fealty from the Manhattan real estate. And so because of that, this is all a search for validation, loyalty, and fealty. Unfortunately, it seems to be plunging the world into a global depression.

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But it is, you know what it was, I thought most interesting is there is a wistfulness and a kind of confusion in the accusatory tone of Trump and Vance and the kind of, hey, I, you know, we were under the impression actually that you in the United States were benefiting quite a bit from this and we appreciated the stability. So, fuck.

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I think it's so amazing when you think about what has been the cry of the conspiracy right forever, this new world order, and what is Trump ushering in.

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Man, boy, do I hope that it doesn't take a screw up to the global economy for people to see who he is. And to be quite frank, I don't even think that will do it. I just don't think that they view his actions and negative effects as being in any way correlated, they'll always view it as sort of like in the old days, you know, the left used to cling to communism. Oh, communism's never been tried.

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You know, just because Stalin killed 8 million people in a forest in Russia, communism's never been tried. And I think you will always have that with Trump. And God, I hope it doesn't take... this economic chaos to do that. I hope we pull out of this spiral. Cooler heads have to prevail, but man, it is wild to watch, isn't it?

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It's been a hundred days, guys. I don't even think it's been a hundred days. Look how old I look. I've aged so much. Not at all. Brittany, what are the people saying? What are the good people saying? What are they saying?

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What do they want from us? Oh, congratulations on a Webby Award.

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You guys, look at us congratulating each other.

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Oh, he came on and it was great. I thought it was a productive conversation. I don't know. You know, the whole thing occurred. I guess we did a bit on Doge and I obviously... came up with all kinds of billions of dollars that we could save from subsidies and corporate thing and blah, blah, blah. That was the real cost savings to me. He said, not us, we didn't make any entreaty.

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He said, I'll come on the show if you air it unedited. And we went, sure, fine. That's how most of them are. So sure. What the fuck? And, uh, then he said like, ah, you're a propaganda. And he started to back away. And, and I said, look, you come on or don't come on, but don't pretend like it's, I don't live up to a standard.

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And that is the last, that is, and that is, I think, and I think Tesla was at, you know, uh, at least 80% of its value at that point. And it's since I think plunged to, whatever it is, obviously not connected, but I did DM him. Is that a thing?

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I texted him and just said like, Hey man, so is there somebody I should, you know, have our guys reach out to, to make this happen? And I got ghosted.

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I got left on red, man.

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Yeah.

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Well, actually, judging from his most recent revelations of his baby mamas, I think everyone has been left on read at some point by that gentleman. So, yeah, I don't imagine it will. I would be surprised.

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Completely, I'm sure, undeserved, you know, in no way reflective of standing on a stage with a chainsaw celebrating the loss of livelihoods for tens of thousands of well-intentioned government workers. I'm sure. Yes. No, this is all completely out of the blue and.

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And John, it's weird, isn't it? Because I noticed this, that we talk so much about his psychology. And of course, it's very difficult to work out his psychology. So you'll get people who know him well, they'll say one moment, oh, he won't be able to put up for Elon Musk for more than a couple of days because he can't bear anyone else in his limelight. And then they'll have to change their view.

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Listen, if there's one thing that this administration does better than anybody I've ever seen, it's play the victim. I've never seen any people ever, including when my kids were three and two years old, evade accountability and responsibility and blame others in the way that these people do. It's truly shameless.

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Thank you. Look at us, the sisterhood of the traveling pants over here.

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Yeah, give me another one.

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Give me another one.

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Oh, wow. Any question that starts with, is it worth it? I always want to end with, let me work it.

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All right. Oh, wow.

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I mean, I don't know if they're talking about the financial. I will say this. Is it worth it to society? Hell fucking yes. We need committed workers. idealistic, tenacious, resilient, young students to go into journalism and try not to be defeated by the general outrage, incentivized financial system that we have of discourse. Like we need those people desperately.

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And the people that I've met that are going into that, that are young people are impressive and committed to all those things. incredible outcomes, is it worth it to them? I don't know the world that you're walking into. You know, the executive producer of CBS 60 Minutes just quit rather than apologize because he didn't do anything wrong editing an interview, which everybody does.

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It didn't change it. So I don't know the world they're walking into, but I know if that world can change for the better, we need those people. So whoever wrote that, yeah.

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Do it.

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Right.

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So let me go with Lauren's answer. Can we strike my answer? Because the answer that Lauren just gave was actually actionable and perfect. I think, boy, that's such a good answer is to think about what that environment is now and choose a program like that, Lauren. What she said.

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And they'll be like, oh, no, the thing about Trump is he really likes wealthy people. or they'll say, you know, the one thing he cares about is the stock market. And then when he tanks the stock market, everyone's like, no, no, no, he doesn't really care about the stock market. But what I think it's showing, if I was going to be pretentious for a second, is that the structure's falling down.

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Sister, I don't know which member of the traveling pants you are, because I'm not sure who's in that. I think there was four of us, but Jillian is working remote today, so she's not around. But yes, boy, that's a good answer. Brittany, how else can they get in touch with us? What can they do?

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Great job as always, guys. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola, who, Rob, I'm telling you, That pushing back my computer was just the ticket. I felt it. I don't think I banged on the desk as much for our audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Speer.

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Executive producers, as always, Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Thank you guys so much. And we will see you on the next weekly show podcast next week. Bye-bye. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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You only start focusing on the psychology of the individual when the system isn't working. Because when you've got a properly functioning system. The civil servants are working, the courts are working, Congress is working. The details of the sort of mysterious psychology of the president is less important. It only becomes important when it all goes executive orders.

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And I think that's what's so strange about this. This is a guy who, particularly with tariffs, has suddenly found this sort of emergency weapon that he can deploy. And then we all have to start worrying about his psychology.

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Well, it's actually, it's the modus operandi for this administration is to, you know, throughout the history of the United States, the executive has always had a great deal of power, but it's always supercharged that power through the process of emergency declarations. We have an emergency declaration. We have to suspend habeas corpus emergency declaration.

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What if we imprisoned all of our Japanese citizens? Emergency declaration in the 50s for tariffs. They're very shrewd about, you know, the Alien Enemies Act. They find those moments. So he catastrophizes to get elected and then uses those trumped up, pardon the pun, catastrophes to enact these emergency powers that basically negate the other branches. And I think that's how he operates.

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And John, can I, again- Please. Rory, I'm here to help you. Thank you. Originally, I was going to get Europe's vision of us. I'm here to help you.

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Well, you do need to help us. Please. So let me, I think, give a little bit of background. So I was briefly a British soldier, and then I was a British diplomat, and I served in the Balkans, so the Bosnia and Kosovo interventions. I was then in Afghanistan. I was in Iraq.

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Famously walked through Afghanistan and wrote a brilliant book about it.

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Thank you. Thank you. And in all those places, I work very, very closely with the United States. And so I think I need to begin by sort of setting up the world that I grew up in. It was an American world. I mean, European or British, but it was an American world. And I think it's just trying to get across the sense that since the Second World War, the world has been defined by the US.

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The US set up NATO, basically set up the UN, set up the World Bank, set up the IMF. And when we deployed to Afghanistan, we deployed because the United States had triggered Article 5 of NATO. It's something you've pointed out. We came to help the United States. Somebody who was in NATO had been attacked, and we deployed to help.

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And I developed so much respect for my American colleagues, for their professionalism, for their seriousness. And I really mean this. I mean, they were more professional and serious often, I'm afraid, than we were, because they had more power and more responsibility.

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And took that power and responsibility seriously.

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Yeah, and you really got that sense. I became close to people that listeners will be familiar with, General Petraeus, General McChrystal, Richard Holbrooke, Hillary Clinton. I worked with these people. And I was so struck by how committed they were, how serious they were, and how idealistic they could be.

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Often when we Europeans were being a little bit cynical, it was the Americans in the room who'd say, no, we got to do this properly. We actually care about democracy or we care about human rights. We're not going to allow this warlord to just go around abusing people. And it was very precious to me. It was very precious to me when I used to teach at Harvard. I now teach at Yale.

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To see a senator self-deport at the ripe young age of 80. My God. My God. What have we become as a society? To drive... these kinds of adolescent junior senators from office. It's like watching someone declare for the draft as a freshman. No, sir, you're not ready. You're not ready to go. You must mature. Oh, we're so...

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I'm married to an American.

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Don't, by the way, don't think that that means that you can stay. Just know this. We've changed the rules slightly.

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But particularly not after appearing on your podcast, John. I'm going to blame you when I turn up and some ICE agent looks at my TikTok account and flings me out. That's right. Send you to Louisiana and whatever happens happens. Yeah, exactly. I'm coming after you. As you should, sir. I'm going to be there. You better come and visit me in Guantanamo or El Salvador or wherever it is.

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I'd be delighted. I love to travel.

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Because it'll be your fault. Absolutely. No, so just to finish the thought, I mean, I think to really understand the bewilderment and maybe even the overreaction in Britain and Europe to Trump too, you have to understand how for 70, 80 years, America created this very, very complicated, delicate balance of allies. I'm going to finish with a final little anecdote, which mattered to me.

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When I was chair of the Defense Select Committee in the UK Parliament, 2015. We were looking at basically options of shutting down most of the British defense manufacturing and just buying from the US because it was going to be cheaper and they produced at scale. And we were looking at closing down most of our Navy and becoming a sort of Marine Corps attached to the US.

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And we didn't do it in the end, partly because we were worried about employment in the UK and the Navy put up a fight for its own institutions. But nobody then, nobody 10 years ago ever said, well, wait a second, are you not taking a big risk here? Because what happens if the US was no longer a reliable ally? It was inconceivable.

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I mean, literally nobody in that room said, well, hold a second, you're going to put yourself completely dependent on buying US defense equipment. What happens if a president comes in who says he's going to switch off the software on the F-35s? Or you're going to get rid of your aircraft carriers and your Navy, and you're going to design yourself into a Marine Corps to deploy with the US?

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Hello, everybody. Welcome once again. Weekly show podcast with Jon Stewart. My name is Jon Stewart. I'm actually the person in the intro. It just, I don't know, it just worked out that way. We are talking to you Wednesday, April 23rd. We always try and date it because of the speed in which current events has been moving. It is exhausting. We are approaching the first hundred days of...

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Well, what happens if the US is trying to take Greenland off you?

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That never came up before? That wasn't something that got thrown around in the room?

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I mean, it's maybe a silly point and obvious to listeners, but we had no doctrine. When we went to military training or we looked at strategy, we had no doctrine for what to do if the U.S. became an adversary. We literally don't have any plans for defending Greenland because it was inconceivable.

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Right. So you never thought that we would trigger Article 5 by attacking you? Right. I mean, we wouldn't know what to do. It makes sense. Yeah. So here's where it gets complicated, I think, Rory, because you mentioned a couple of things and we'll roll back. And this is maybe the explanation of where we, you talked about sort of

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viewing America as sort of this idea that our government and our civil service, they all functioned really efficiently and effectively and were run by serious people who had created this worldview where we were the centerpiece of a democratic free world. We amplified our power throughout these various allies and we respected each other and we supported each other.

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The truth is, it was the failure of that world order to live up to expectation that led to Trump in the first place, to a large extent, as you've seen from Brexit and populist movements throughout all of Europe. And, you know, your experience in Afghanistan and Iraq

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you viewed the idealism and seriousness of the people in a really positive light and it was moving and you were impressed by, you know, how hard they worked, but it was a disaster. It was a pig fuck. Yeah. And that led to a real loss of faith and cynicism in this

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world order and trump came in as a hard truth-telling diagnostician sure this world that you thought was real uh is actually where the victims of this i mean the the irony is we set up a world that we now claim is abusing us.

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It was our choice. John, you've put your finger on probably the most difficult thing that we face, which is this contradiction. Because you're completely right. Along with all the stuff that was so positive, there was what you call the pig fuck. Mm-hmm.

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By the way, that's trademarked. Don't think you can just slap that on t-shirts and go out there and sell that wherever you want.

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Well, it's part of the Stuart brother thing. We can use this.

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We're brothers. Stuart brothers, pick fuck t-shirts.

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We're fine, yeah. So I was back in Afghanistan in August, this August, just now, right? And I sat down with the governor of Bamiyan. Last time I sat down with the governor of Bamiyan, she was a human rights lawyer. This time he has an injured eye, a big turban. He's surrounded by guys with clashy cuffs. And he was the governor of Bamiyan before 9-11. Is he Taliban or is he a warlord? He's Taliban.

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All right. We're going to take a quick break and be right back.

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We are back. But don't you have to know what you're up against? Don't you, you know, how do you fight an enemy that you haven't defined explicitly? And I'll give you even an example in a small thing, because I think this speaks to a larger, deeper issue that I think I want to get into with you, which is, you know, we all look at, oh, why did the Democrats fall flat?

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Oh, Joe Biden got out too late or Kamala Harris didn't have a time or she, you know, whatever that was. But I think at its base level, it was a feeling that government is not being responsive to the discomfort of its people, right? Which breeds a certain feeling that there's this – this disconnect. And so we have to be able to define why.

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And I would put this into kind of a unifying theme of governance, which is for the Democrats, oftentimes they're so analog, they're so tied to Robert's rules of order and they haven't realized like, oh, it's fucking UFC out there now.

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And we have to switch the way, but then you also have to define what that's going to mean for how you govern and what you're going to do.

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Would that make sense?

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We don't... America... has announced itself as we don't give a fuck. The mountains have different names. I don't even know what I'm looking at on a map. I feel like it's one of those, when you get one of those maps from like the 19, when England would just go in and just redraw, like, okay, that country doesn't exist anymore. I'm just going to call that, I don't know, Lebanon.

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No, I meant wealthy.

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How does that manifest? If you could give us an example of what those concessions might look like. So how in a practical way, when you're chasing a different group, because in my mind, look, one of the biggest issues in my mind is over the last 40 or 50 years, labor has been devalued and capital has been elevated. So investment and finance is king and labor is in many ways devalued.

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So in what way have you seen those kinds of moves made?

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And how do those compromises occur? Are those placed in because of who has the ear of the congressional people, the Senate? and the House, this is the effect of big money and lobbying, yes?

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They can do the appropriating or they're just as a part of it because it's not the appropriations, but it's- Yeah.

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Like, hey, man, what's up? Like, what kind of, was it like, hey, what's up, Congresswoman?

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Why don't we do that? Here's Syria and draw a little line. And I don't know. It's going to take weeks to just parse everything. Just what the rules are. Any more about gravity is still in effect, I believe. Or did he executive order that as well? I don't quite know. You're apparently now allowed to shit in the water. Like, I don't know. It's all a blur.

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And especially in the House, it's all or nothing. I mean, even if you have a one-seat majority, you control all the business that goes through that committee.

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Who gets investigated, who's allowed to call witnesses, what those witnesses are. I mean, you control the entire operation.

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Right. And the people who voted for them rarely get the access. You know, I thought it was a stark moment at the inauguration yesterday. Amy Klobuchar was up and, you know, she gave that first speech and it began with this sort of, Ode to the working man. Oh, the working man. The construction workers who built this city.

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The railroad engineers who, you know, and it was this large ode to the working man. Not one of them in the room.

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But it makes it seem like a performance. This is why I think people lose that faith. And I think that ultimately this idea that, well, you know, people just need to have better unions and they do like, why do, why is it incumbent upon working people? You know, maybe this is a shift and maybe this is an interesting way to kind of talk about where do the Democrats go ideologically, right?

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Because this fire hose of kind of oligarchs isn't going to be ending. And it seems like unionization, while a really powerful tool, is a slow-moving one and certainly one that's been eroded. Is maybe the new economic theory a way to tap into that firehose? That money is built by labor, but labor does not participate like a shareholder. Is there a way – and this is obviously beyond my pay grade –

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Everything that we thought we knew about the infrastructure and what to call it. America's back, baby. We're back. Not just as a country and a family of nations, but as the nation. We win, you lose. Biatch? I don't know if that's... Whatever that translates to in Latin. That is the new... motto of the United States of America.

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to start shifting the conversation beyond like, Hey man, just give us a minimum wage raise and start to think about the ways that, that the CEOs and these oligarchs are remunerated, right? It's bonuses, it's stock buybacks. It's so how do we get labor to not just live on the crumbs that they are afforded,

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But to participate in that fire hose, that $50 trillion growth in wealth over these last four years.

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to even more like more lefty even i mean it's all lefty but even like other things but why is it like even when it's called lefty like in the rest of the world it's normal it's like center right yeah like it's normal it's the idea you know when we talk about oh how about everybody like can go to a doctor and you're like, what are you, a communist? And you're like, the whole world does that.

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I mean, he gained a tremendous amount in that area.

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Just gave away a million dollars to individuals in Pennsylvania.

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Not legal, but... Right, but isn't that the point though? They would rather ask for forgiveness than permission. And isn't a lot of this based on, you know, when we say it's the foxes now guarding the hen house, but isn't it the people in the hen house going, where are my eggs? Yeah. You promised me eggs and you guys haven't delivered.

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We're going to take a quick break. Be right back.

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And I am excited to talk to a person today that I think provides a modicum of hope, a level of fight and of ideology that I think, boy, needs to be injected into this moribund party more than ever. So I am just going to jump on in and introduce our guest for today's podcast. All right, so we are going to get to our guest. We're very excited. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Welcome.

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We are back. Now you did something really interesting, I thought, after the election.

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And this is, I think, why I think the right gives you respect and also I think is a little trepidatious about you in that you kind of understand these new media platforms and you went on one of them and it was either TikTok or Instagram or one after the election because you outperformed the Democrats in your district.

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And there were people that voted for you and voted for Trump and you wanted to know why. And in doing that, what came back to you? Was it anything revelatory or illuminating about the process by which their frustration with people that are speaking the language of their struggle but not delivering on their struggle led them to, well, you know what? Fuck it.

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Let's just cut through all the red tape and go with a more executive version of all of this.

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If they hear it from you.

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The guy from the LA Times was like, hey, man, what do you guys want us to put in the paper?

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I don't know if I, like, do I give snaps? Do I, I don't know what the kids do anymore, but like, dude.

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They sit on a committee. They get information about a drug or a contract or a thing. They immediately make a call. The stockbroker changes things. Their portfolio swells.

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You are the congresswoman for New York's 14th district. The fightin' 14th.

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You're regulating the market that you're trading on.

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You run the casino.

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I really think we may have disturbingly high-fived in that moment.

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Oh, but they're performing a populist dance in a lot of ways. But doesn't it though, and this is the thing where it kind of gets tricky because what the right's diagnosis is in many ways correct. What Trump is saying is the system is rigged. Well, I think that's what we're saying, which is, yeah, it's rigged. Now, I don't believe his remedy is correct. I don't believe he's honest about

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700,000 strong. The Bronx and Queens. And I thank you so much for taking the time. How was your day yesterday? What did you do? I...

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Where he's unrigging it, I think he's not draining the swamp. He's co-opting it. He wants the deed to the swamp so that he can continue to funnel. I mean, that meme coin being just the tip of the iceberg there. But isn't that what is driving them? Is that sense that? And they are, I think, not wrong. The system is rigged.

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But the question is, they're viewing it like, oh, it's the undocumented migrants that are rigging the system and not the six billionaire oligarchs that are sitting in the front row at the inauguration. To me, that's the disconnect.

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There are people here in this country who will do work for money that Americans won't do work for, who are exploited by the system.

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Inside.

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But how do you battle certain like the common sense? I'll give you an example. Like when they say, oh, there's an undocumented immigrant who has committed a crime. Common sense would tell you, yeah, that person has lost their ability to be here and should be sent back. And yet. You would find there are some Democrats who would disagree with that.

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Did you watch the proceedings? I did. Or did you try and avoid everything?

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Or, you know, isn't there another form of progressivism that is more muscular, that has a certain amount of common sense, law and order aspect to it that can be fashioned as a way forward?

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That doesn't get saddled with some of these seemingly nonsensical positions.

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Right. But apparently who had like a criminal record.

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Who had committed crimes.

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Why isn't it done then?

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Right. And it's not like we don't deport a lot of people, even in Democratic administrations. We deport a ton.

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Carrie Underwood. I felt so bad for her. She's just standing there and they're like, we're going to be the administration of competence. We're going to make everything work again, except the PA.

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So now- No due process then for someone who is an asylum seeker.

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Okay.

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You could have lawful- So they take a narrow common sense issue and then what they do is they expand the margins out on it. to things that would not be common sense.

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Oh, I got Delaware breathing down my neck over here. Yeah. I don't know what they're sending up my way.

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So let's take your energy. Let's take the passion that you have for these issues. And let's think about, because right now the Democrats are almost fully defined by their positions on Trump, as opposed to, you know, people are thirsty for a leadership. And the Democrats, I think, have had a really difficult time responding to that thirst, responding to that action. So what is the process then?

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of redefining what this party is, what it represents moving forward. And are there leaders there? It is sclerotic. I mean, it is a party in real confusion. And I don't know, I can't put my finger on, it reminds me of the Republicans in 2012 where there was just, when Trump came into that first 2016 primary, I mean, he just like, just like flicking his finger, not Jeb Bush. Yeah. Nice. Boom. Done.

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Like, and I think the Democrats are vulnerable to that. So how, what is the process of, of redefining and recapturing what this party is?

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Well, I mean, what he did on the way out, I really thought, it was incredibly disappointing on the way out. He's like, we're controlled by oligarchs. Women are people. And, uh, I'm going to make sure that my family has a life raft. And I, and I just thought, boy, what a, and, and, and I have fondness for him. And he, he was certainly

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And nothing surprising. Was it strange to you, you know, one thing that struck me was sort of this sense that the Bidens or the Democrats wanted to preserve this decorum, you know, It was such a, I have to say it was such a surreal scene to see someone who had attempted what he had attempted at the Capitol

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incredibly important to a bill that was very important to me that went through. But I just thought, again, you just made this whole thing look like a show, like a performance, and that you've been not clear with us over four years. And on your way out, you're just going to tell the truth, which is our legal system doesn't serve anybody. And I'm just going to make sure my family's protected.

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Purposeful rule. I think – I don't think we're looking for nihilists. I think we're looking for a purposeful recapturing of the thrust. Does it start, Congresswoman, with – What you did, which is kind of a customer service. I think what the Democrats have lost is the reality of people's lives.

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When you think about that cradle to grave journey and where the bottleneck pressures are, that weird working class, middle class squeeze of. I've worked really hard. I've saved some money, but now I got to blow most of it on my kid's college while my parents need health care and other things. And those costs are soaring.

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And that's going to put me under by the time I get up to that age when I'm 60 years old. Isn't that journey the absolute priority of any government that's going to listen to the discomfort of the way its people live?

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Or even, you know, the Obamacare, which is in many ways just a giant benefit to insurance companies, which is the government just saying, we'll give you a little bit of access to this shitty system that you haven't been satisfied with. And we'll just make sure that to get an insurance company to take you on if you're considered a poor risk. We'll just pay them to do that.

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It's where my parents went to City College in New York. It was free. This was the 1940s. That's right.

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Now to make that argument is Democrat is job one then to be honest about the deliverables that a government can offer or about how we need to almost, you know, when they talk about moonshots, we need a bureaucratic moonshot because in truth, the way that the government operates right now is counterintuitive and counterfactual to all best practices. And, and,

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be handed the reins of power, not just in a peaceful transfer, but one that seemed to want to honor the tea ceremony and to bring them back. And is there a difference between, obviously, is there a middle ground between storming the Capitol and would you like oolong or throat coat? Like, what are we doing?

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There is such opportunity here, Congresswoman. I feel it in your voice. I feel the frustration that you feel being down there. I've experienced it myself. I have to tell you, when we were down there trying to do legislation, I was at times just stunned at what you had talked about earlier, which is that we have to go through regular order.

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And it was interesting to me, what I discovered to some respect is, and this is a terrible thing to probably say, but Congress can be bullied.

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By righteousness and by doing the right thing. As long as they feel like you're not going to go away and you're going to keep that light on them, Mitch McConnell can be- It's true.

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Yeah.

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It's a very strange feeling to have that.

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And does this system require... and entrenched underclass to work properly. The way I've always looked at it is, government can be an effective check. Capitalism is the system we've chosen, and it certainly is a wealth generation system, but it also has collateral damage along the way. It has destructive things that are built into its function.

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And maybe government's there not necessarily to change that system of wealth generation, but to ameliorate the collateral damage and allow more people into that fire hose of wealth generation.

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But see, you know the promise of the possible and that's what gives you that feeling that that the fight can pay off. But I think for the most part, that fight is you have no other option. We always talk about that idea, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. But what they don't tell you is it doesn't bend by natural forces. Gravity is not what bends that.

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And there are people who are bending that fucker back the other way. And it is effort, it is work. And I thank you so much for spending the time with us today And it's really been a wonderfully invigorating conversation for me to hear your passion and to hear the fight that you have and the direction you're going in.

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I guess the final question is, how do you feel about the confidence that the Democrats are being, A, honest with themselves about where they actually are? And B, have the vision and wherewithal to begin that process that you're talking about, about redefining it in a way that's more responsive to the people they purport to represent.

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Friends with benefits. Yeah, I get it.

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Yeah, exactly.

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Boy, did that get lost.

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I got to tell you, there are so many metaphors. I don't even know what to do anymore. I've got a toolkit and a batting cage. I don't know what the hell's happening.

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All those different things. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, New York's 14th District. Thank you so much for spending the time with us today. I really appreciate it. Hope to see you again soon.

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All right. Bye-bye. Fantastic. We are back. We're joined by Lauren Walker, Jillian Speer, Brittany Mamedovic. Fantastic, I say. She's so good. I exclaim.

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I really think this time, this time in Congress, she is going to get in a fistfight. And not with a Republican, with another. I think she's going to deck Steny Hoyer. I think he is going down. She's throwing a roundhouse and it is over. I love the no wallowing. There was no despair. There was no sense all is lost. There was no sense that it's Sisyphus at the bottom of a mountain.

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She was all like, let's roll up the sleeves and get in there and make this shit right. And I think that is exactly the attitude that is missing and necessary.

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What? No Liberal Tears here, for God's sake.

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First of all, I don't think Trump is a- Like this idea somehow that the media must adopt, oh, it's Trump and that's different. Like the media should have a prescribed methodology that can be applied to all who come there. And what that should be is. To litigate the boundaries of our shared reality. To stop pretending we live in separate universes. No, we don't. We live in the universe.

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We live in the world. There is reality. The media's job is to litigate the boundaries of that shared reality through a process of standards of evidentiary truth. That's fucking it. And no more like... Is that racist? Will you promise to honor the 2020, the 2020 result, like litigate the why litigate the boundaries of our shared reality. And that is how you should cover everything. Preach. Don't.

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Mic drop. And I, and I ended with this. Don't. But you guys are, are doing good. I'm excited that, that we're back and we're, we're, we're,

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That was bananas. And what I love about it is like, there they go again, overreacting. You have to admit, even if it's the awkwardness and neurodivergence or a thing that always occurs, you have to admit it is worthy of people going like, what the fuck was that? especially coupled with ideological turns that you've very clearly taken on your platform. Like this all does fit together.

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It's not like it comes out of nowhere. You know, you didn't like do this, like, and everybody's like, wow, that looked like he was doing like his own air trombone. Like it was what it was. And I think it's very reasonable for any observer to be like, huh, that was fucking weird.

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Yeah. Fuck those guys anyway. Like, they're the worst. All these guys have sublimation. I mean, the best one to me is Zuckerberg. You know, for Zuckerberg to show up there and, you know, then he goes on Rogan and he's like, the Biden administration yelled at me and tried to censor me. Like, Trump threatened to put you in jail. Yeah.

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He threatened to put you in jail for doing much less than what Elon did to get Trump elected. You know, he had his democracy project, and it turned out more of the money went to Democratic states. And so he was enemy number one. He became, you know, Soros Jr. at that point. Elon just basically gave a million dollars to anybody walking by in Pennsylvania.

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Everybody's like, oh, yeah, no, that's cool. That's all fine. And Zuckerberg is pretending that he had a revelation. I had a revelation that the Biden administration wanted to censor. No, you were threatened with jail. And they even asked Trump, why do you think Zuckerberg, you know, came to you hat in hand? And Trump is like, well, I threatened to put him in jail.

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Fuck it all. That's all I'm saying. But I was very happy to talk to the Congresswoman. I'm always very happy to talk to you guys. How else can the people talk to us, Brittany?

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By the way, last week's episode with Jon Meacham, now my mom thinks I'm smart.

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She loves John Meacham and doesn't particularly care for what I have to say, but the fact that he was on there and didn't call me a dumbass, I have now been elevated.

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Oh, thank you so much. Very, very appreciate it. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear. And of course, our executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Gray. Thank you all so much.

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And we will see you next week and continue this conversation about America. All right. Talk to you then. Bye, guys. The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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And that is in many ways kind of how you made your bones. And I think you're right. Like, even when you think about, and not to get into the weeds, but, you know, so you were on the oversight committee and I thought did really great work there. I mean, you know, good questioning, the kind of questioning that I think would get to the gist of an issue or would

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break it down in terms of what the dynamics were. And when you wanted to be the ranking member of the Oversight Committee, the Democrats decided to hand it to, and nothing against Representative Connolly, but he's 74 years old. And it's almost as if they were saying, Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez is really great at this, but he's 74. So there's nothing we can do. He's a 74-year-old man.

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He's first in line.

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By the way, that was his campaign slogan.

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I think Jerry's great.

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That's amazing. And doesn't Trump's rise and the way that he's operating make farce of that? Yeah. I mean, in some ways, he clowns them, that it doesn't look like a holding to protocol. It looks like submission. It doesn't in any way appear to be they're maintaining the thing about the party that That is ineffectual. That doesn't do anything. Yet that's the thing they seem to cling to the most.

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You're talking more on a procedural level, or do you mean also a kind of ideological level?

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Hey, everybody. Welcome. I came out of my seat on that one. I was so excited to be speaking with you. Welcome to the weekly show pod. We are recording this on the Tuesday. Following the inauguration of the 47th president of the United States, also the 45th president of the United States, Mr. Donald Trump, our guest today will be Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

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And it also, I think in some ways, in some ways it reveals some of the Democrats posturing as performative. You know, when you're, when you're creating apocalyptic messaging about a fascist.

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Who is literally coming over and, and, and, and doing these things. And. Then when he wins, sitting down with watercress sandwiches and cream cheese and doing the whole nine yards, it makes you wonder, well, did you believe any of the shit you were saying before?

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Or was that something, again, that was just a part of your messaging?

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Participating now in this when they wouldn't have participated in the past.

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I see what you're saying, okay.

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I mean, for God's sakes, they launched meme coins. I can remember in the first administration, somebody would animate something and the Democrats would scream, he violated the Hatch Act. Everybody would go crazy and then everybody would have to look up the Hatch Act. And now these guys are literally just launching meme coins before the inauguration and piling up billions of dollars in wealth. Yes.

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It's kind of an incredible transformation, but again, It feels like – let me ask you this because maybe this is a different way of looking at it because in some ways it reveals maybe to the cynical mind the way that you believe this shit always has worked in the past. The idea of – and I'll give you an example. The gentleman, Martin, who is running for Democratic National Committee chair, right?

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So he says – he comes out and he says, hey, man, we're not going to – we're going to take money from the good billionaires, not the bad billionaires. And if money corrupts – and this happened in a conversation I had with Congresswoman Pelosi as well. She said, Money corrupts the process. I said, well, you raised $35 million. And oh, no, no, no, no, no. That's it. We can't disarm.

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And I said, well, how does money corrupt the Democrats? And she said, well, it doesn't. It corrupts them. Money's bad for them. But for us, it's good money. And isn't it almost better for us to now have this arrangement be explicit?

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And be out in the open so that we understand this is how the world fucking works. This is how it goes round.

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I'm excited to talk to her because this is shit is changing by the millisecond. Things are executive orders are flying. Oligarchs are tweeting, it's all happening. Everything that was done in this previous administration has been repealed. The Gulf of Mexico is now the Gulf of America. Canada is now officially classified as our hat. I don't know what's changing. We're not in the climate accord.

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But doesn't that reflect the reality of our system in the first place? It's just a more grotesque, hyperbolic version of a system that's not working.

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Hey, folks, I just want to let you know your prayers have been answered. You remember, everybody's in L.A. I actually was lucky enough to participate in it. It's back. Everybody's live with John Mulaney. Coming to Netflix again. Mulaney, who's just so funny. And tall, that's the part I don't really care for, the tall part, but so funny.

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Within our economy, we have a real issue, as Adam talks about, in terms of what the government actually delivers to people. Is this the answer to the very real imbalances that we're seeing, Saurabh?

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that one of the books behind you, Saurabh? Is that what's sitting on that bookshelf?

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And also, listen, their infrastructure investments were enormous. They just couldn't build any of it. All right, going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. And we are back. So there's questions here that arise for me. One is, are we fighting a conventional war when everyone else is using drones and lasers? you know, to rebuild something, creating a kind of, will it be a facade?

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We passed it through him in attempt to raise his glasses from the lower part of his nose through telekinesis all the way up, all the way from here. I'm doing this right now. It's on a podcast, so you probably don't know. It's coming all the way. Here we go. We're urging, come on, come on, guys. Come on, you can do it. And get them to focus.

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Will it be a Potemkin village? Because even if you replace manufacturing jobs, manufacturing isn't done in the same way that it used to be done. Part of what lost manufacturing jobs was globalization and the fact that capital can travel and labor can't. Part of it was, hey man, I can pretty much build a robot to do what 50 of you do. So will we be capturing something real?

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So the first question to Adam, are we fighting the wrong war? Yeah. Are we making Abrams tanks and everyone else is making something more modern?

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Realistically boosting it.

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And I think we need to make clear what is being asked for here is not nihilism. It's not the kind of shut the government down. Fuck all this. Nobody cares because there's a great understanding. But they themselves spoke of this was the moment of leverage that they had been neutered to the point because they don't have

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So that's such an interesting way that Adam has just framed it, I think. And it does beg the question then, how do you create this Hamiltonian model, which I think is what we're talking about as kind of an ideal of balance. You're talking about infrastructure and monetary policy and these other bases. What would that look like? Adam's probably right here.

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We couldn't rebalance our manufacturing sector or blue collar jobs to be 30%. of the economy and create that really stable middle-class infrastructure. How do we create that really stable middle-class infrastructure in this while also realizing that there's an AI chat bot right now taking over the daily show?

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But let's be clear, though, there's not a sector of American jobs, though, that are not worth protecting. There's not a sector of jobs, you know, whether it's manufacturing, whether it's education, whether it's. health care, whether it's, you know, it's really important.

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That's right. And now capital travels and labor doesn't. It's just the way that things have been designed.

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Finding more and more countries to exploit, which by the way, we do in the United States. I mean, South Carolina, right-to-work states do the same thing that globalization does to America to states that have unions. I mean, Michigan gets decimated by maybe Mexican plants, but also by right-to-work states in South Carolina and you know, and tax in all kinds of other places.

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the majority in the house, even though it's slim and they don't have the majority in the Senate. They don't, you know, but the, because the senators didn't have 60, the Democrats could have filibustered to maybe extract anything. But I think the frustration is a, you're not clear on the specifics of what they would extract if they could. And B, they just fucking didn't. And

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You see that the sectors where labor cannot travel, fast food, healthcare, where communities must have them in there, look at how hard they fight to depress their wages. And I'm not just talking about the people who run those businesses. I'm talking about the Fed. The Fed raised interest rates in part because of what they called Wage inflation.

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Overheating. But it wasn't overheating on profits. It wasn't overheating on supply chain constriction. It was, holy shit, are we paying these people 15? What? No, no, no, no, no. Raise the rates, depress the labor market. That was the cudgel they used.

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Let me ask you a question about, you know, there is a real effort right now. And again, this gets us back to the Trumpian, which is remove the federal government from everything, unleash the powers of laissez-faire capitalism, and that will close these gaps of and inequities

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But there are so many externalities in terms of and I think we've when they keep pointing back to this gilded age of a more libertarian economy. Well, that was a volatile disaster. So I'm not quite sure where, you know, where is it that they're they're certainly not taking us back to the capitalized days of Hamiltonian capitalism. central planning.

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Sora, what is their vision? Where, what economy, what's the analog to this?

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Don't make a big theatrical production of choosing fighters and we're going to do this. And, you know, I think they keep counting on this very strange notion that somehow in the House of Representatives, Massey will rule the day. Like, this is all theater. Even in the Senate when you got, I think, I don't know how many.

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And by the way, it's an exercise they're doing explicitly. All right, we got to take a quick break. We'll be right back. Okay, we're back. Adam, this gets to the central contradiction of kind of where we're talking about. So this is a thing that in many ways they fetishize the working man, right? They pay great homage to the values of the working man.

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But who is in there smashing around the economy? It's not the working man. It's not people with an understanding of unions and all those other things. It's techno billionaires who want to create and look their vision for the economy. Let's be honest. is very clearly not a bottom-up infrastructure. It is a gig economy run by overlords that are AI-infused.

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They have a, I think, dystopian vision of what work and relevance means. I don't think they're talking about the kind of societal tentpost economies that you guys are talking about. So address how that central contradiction plays out, Adam.

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Democrats voted for the continuing resolution, but every single one that did is not up for reelection in 2026 or retiring, which says to me that it was a, they put on a play. They're all putting on a play. Oh, sure. These 10 people reject the CR. Well, actually, we don't really know if they reject it. We just know that those are the ones that have

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If you've never seen it, it's just the most, I think, creative and spontaneous. The guests, the fan calls, and there was a robot thing that scared the hell out of me the last time. You just don't know what's going to happen. If you want something you haven't seen before, a fresh take on Late Night Talk. And listen, who knows stale late-night talk better than me, the man who invented it?

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demonized as educational statistics. Somehow they're not the working class. Somehow they're not the middle class.

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But they're being portrayed as a criminal element. You bastard testing our water for fecal matter. How dare you, sir? Exactly.

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But by the way, let's also be clear. There is no real ESG, DEI ethos in any of this. That was all wallpaper and gilding and tinsel.

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So Rab, what is, is the end game here a sincere, is this gold leaf on a shit box? Like what exactly is the plan here if the tariff regime which is going to be extraordinary if carried out, can only boost our manufacturing base by a million jobs, which are real, right?

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But certainly doesn't rebalance the GDP in any significant way, especially given financialization and the way that that dominates the economy. Is this sincere or is it cover to do something slightly more insidious?

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the political safety that they can step up and do that, that they can step up and accept the continuing resolution because it won't hurt them politically. So we don't even know what they actually think because they put on a play. And the Republicans do the same fucking thing, by the way. When they were going through the Senate confirmation hearings on Pete Hegseth, they put on a play.

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No, I mean, Bezos literally looks- There are a lot of stocky bald dudes in the techno- Sphere. Sphere. But then you've got Bannon, who is much more, I think, fire brandy populist. And is that the trick they're pulling? Is it we're using a populist Trojan horse, but inside that Trojan horse is a cadre of bald guys with AI? Is that what we're dealing with?

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Don't doubt it. I've spoken to guys like Oren Cass, who I think are very sincere about like very good faith, very interesting ideas. I think there's a lot of guys over there like that.

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By the way, is also Jeff Bezos. Like, let's be clear, like Amazon factories, like these are the people who are managed by PMCs and Jeff Bezos is one of them.

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Right. Would roll their eyes in.

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But I guess my point is that the corporate entries into that world have always been for the most part bullshit. Now we can talk about it. The DEI to me, it's not about giving people jobs who don't deserve them. It's about expanding supply lines. into fields, right? Underserved areas where you can develop new talent.

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It's about investing in emerging markets of people who've been traditionally, it's actually about creating more competition, taking out the monopolies that have existed in the labor market in almost every industry.

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Oh, there's three senators that have principled objections to this nomination. It just so happens- that it was the exact number of senators that could object where JD Vance could come in and cast the deciding vote. So understand what you're watching.

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But man, anybody who ever watched somebody rap a McDonald's breakfast song understands corporations are usurping any culture that they can get their hands on that they think will give them a legitimate entry into another market.

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And by the way, to that point earlier about like the social programs. So there's always been this sort of thread through social programs that that is somehow that the people in those situations are there because of a lack of virtue, right? They are there because they are taking advantage of a system. the majority of people on those programs are working poor. They're working their asses off.

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They're doing one job, two jobs, three jobs, you know, working at Walmart and still having to get snap benefits. Like this is not a problem of, desire and intrepid spirit. It's a system that would rather protect the billionaire's last 20 billion than help somebody get their first thousand. To me, that's the system that has to be realigned.

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And is any of this that we're doing here actually realigning that system?

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And I don't know if we're in act one or act two or where the fuck we are in this, but it's a play and they're putting it on and we need better than that. And, uh, the play that's being put on now is, is an economic one. And I want to get, we have two guests today that I think are really, really good. Uh, One is an economic historian.

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of ganged up on him using that rhetoric gaining potential there adam do you see so is there opportunity here in this uh rebalancing for look i think the new deal came about to be frank uh as kind of revolution insurance i mean i think that the powers that be saw the socialist revolutions they saw uh communism taking hold they saw these various

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In countries that refused to understand the discomfort and pain that the majority of their people were going through, if they didn't take meaningful efforts to fix that systemically, they were going to find themselves head in a bucket. It was the French Revolution. So again, that's probably a more cynical way of viewing the New Deal.

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This doesn't seem to be rebalancing that discomfort in a meaningful way. But I think democratic policies fall short of that as well. What it sounds like to me is people get mad because they pay taxes and they don't get health care. They have to still buy insurance. And even when they buy insurance, they don't get health care.

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They just get like this pass that says, well, maybe if we agree to give you that MRI, you'll get the health care. But actually, it's still you're going to have to pay in a deductible. Isn't that fundamentally what's wrong with this?

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The other is, I'd say, more of a conservative center-right who's got a real focus on economic populism. And we're going to talk a little bit about the play that is being put on about our economy and how it's going to be transitioned and what the reality is of how they're going to be transitioning it. So I'm just going to get to them now because they're fantastic.

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And by the way, much more at risk of the AI revolution.

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So you mentioned a Democratic Party. Now, I wasn't aware there still was one of those.

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I had no idea. I had heard something of it. It had been whispered in the wind. Yeah, once upon a time, right? That there was this Democratic Party. So, you know, the center-right, how do they address, you know, I'm going to, I'll give you an anecdote and you can respond. I spoke to one of these AI experts.

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super beings that's creating you know owns the thing and and i said to him you know industrialization raised the level of standard of living but it was really disruptive right and then the internet revolution and globalization was really disruptive but industrialization took 150 years The globalization was over 30 to 40 years as this disruption occurred.

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AI's disruption, the timeline is much narrower. It could be five years, it could be 10 years, but that disruption, look at how volatile the disruptions were for globalization. Look at how volatile the disruptions were for industrialization. are you worried that we won't be able to manage the collateral damage to jobs, to lives through this?

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And by the way, that is as long as, I mean, that was the length of the question, like that pedantic. And he goes, no, I think we'll be good. So it doesn't seem like they're taking the concerns that we are discussing in any way seriously. Is that your sense of what this new order is?

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Yes. I would like to avoid a violent insurrection. Is this disruption necessary, Saurabh? Is it necessary? Is this a necessary step? There was a kind of, you know, everybody talks about the rules-based order, but what it feels a bit like is, I don't know if you ever watch the show Peaky Blinders, but Thomas Shelby, OBE, Peaky Blinders gang leader, had a theory on power called big fuck small.

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We are going to get into it with our guests. I want to thank them for joining us. Adam Tooze, author of Chartbook, which is on Substack, and Saurabh Amari, U.S. editor of Unheard and author of Tyranny, Inc. And they are joining us today to tell us, if I may, gentlemen, and I hate to put you in this position, the future. You are my soothsayers. Adam, I'll start with you as the economist.

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And it feels like we're moving into the big fuck small era, that big powers can take advantage to go back to that idea of we extract the wealth from places we want to extract it from. Because we can, and it's vindictive, and whatever disruptions or whatever ill will it causes, tough shit, because big bucks small.

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But given that, the problem is government is the only thing big enough, in my mind, to countervail multinational corporate power. And if it is not exercised with, as Adam says, an eye towards the needs of the people, and it's been defanged for a more vengeance exploitative version of it, Where does that leave us? And is that, am I painting too dark a picture of what this looks like?

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And I'll start with Saurabh and we'll end with Adam.

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Unfortunately, though, anything that would do that's being demolished.

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And the consent. I mean, what do they always talk about? Democracy relies on the consent of the governed.

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You just put that on me. I just put that on you. It seems evident that there is a remaking of the American economy, or at least the attempt to do so through the Trump economic policies, whether it's through tariffs and more protectionism. less government spending, these kinds of things. We've had sort of two economic orders since the New Deal.

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Well, that is the most optimistic note we've heard so far. And I appreciate that. Adam Tooze, author of Chartbook on Substack. Saurabh Omari, US editor of Unheard and author of Tyranny, Inc. Guys, Thank you so much for spending the time with us and really, really helpful and interesting. And thank you.

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Thanks, John. So here's what I saw. I saw a guy on the center right, pretty conservative, Catholic, has those, you know,

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bedrock values of what you would consider to be a a pretty conservative guy with a guy that is much more on the left end of social democracy and all those other things sitting and saying pretty much the same thing absolutely that's how far we've moved into this other direction is that where you guys learn what what are you hearing from these cats

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Even, by the way, even trade imbalances, you know, when they talk about we've got to fix our trade imbalance. Well, America buys a shit ton of stuff. Like, that's going to be really hard to do. And China has a positive trade balance. And is that the economy we want? Like, what are we even talking about? So I think you're right. There's all kinds of justifications.

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But I think what we did get to is there is a plan. Like, that is the one thing I think they do have. We may not like it, but I think it's to go back to Peaky Blinders. Big fuck small.

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I think that's where we're at. I mean, Jillian, did they say anything that you thought, that's the kernel, that's the...

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Right. Or we'll do it in a relatively small way regionally, but might not be a broader plan. Brittany, what's the view on Long Island? What's the view on Long Island from this?

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Yeah. It's the provincial concerns that we all have. But I do think there was real agreement that the volatility of this is a real danger for them. And that part I thought was really interesting when they were talking about like, look – This realignment is probably real. Protectionism is one aspect of it.

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We had the New Deal economic order, and then we sort of had that neoliberalism that started with maybe Carter and Reagan and moved its way on up. Is that the end goal in your mind for what is happening here? Is this an engineering of a different kind of economy than we've kind of been accustomed to?

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There are billionaire technocrats that are going through this other aspect of it, and maybe it is about reducing the deficit, but there are some volatile offshoots of this that could create some real hardship for people. And that's the thing that's scary.

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Am I wrong that that's a sequel? That we don't have the sequel is how he put together the three tent posts of Hamiltonian economies.

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I do appreciate that. Yeah. You say you want a revolution. Well, I don't know. Revelation. I've only listened to it a few times.

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Yeah. Brittany, what do the people say?

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All right, what do we got?

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Oh, Jesus. Man, I so appreciate the question and the frustration I always have is like that it's left to ordinary people. Like that's the part that makes me so mad that like our elected representatives are there. We send them to Washington so that we're, you know, every time

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you know the hits the fan with this there's always that question of like i liken it to like if you're at a basketball game and your team's just getting the kicked out of them and in the time out the the players just turn to the you know to the crowd and go like all right you're in you're like wait i don't but i don't know how to play basketball and they're like i don't care we're we're dying over here just get in there so i mean look what i would say is keep vigilant stay on it and when a task comes to

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But there has to be leadership in this that, you know, ultimately, if this gets to, you know, a veterans march on Washington, which they did do. And it was really, you know, these are real people that throughout the country stood up and said, these cuts are hurting people. They're hurting us. And very little blip. It's very hard to break through.

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So there has to be what we learned during the fight for packed actors, a drug or any of those things is. It takes strategy and leadership from the top that is able to empower people to particular tasks. And that has to be, that plan has to be developed. But man, the fact that people are out there saying, what can we do, says there's a thirst for that leadership and for direction.

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And hopefully it will be provided because, you know, the usual shit is call your congressman. But I can tell you, man, they ignore that shit unless it's really targeted, and really specific to a certain date or action. And that date or action has not been articulated yet, but it will be. It has to be. And so that's where I would say.

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Yeah, let's hope. Let's hope. What else I got?

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Wow, no. I don't ever consider, I don't experience FOMO, forget about career, in life because I don't like doing things.

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John of missing out.

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Do you guys get FOMO? Jillian, you're our perhaps youngest member. Is that something that you experience?

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You know what? That's a good point. Why is that not usually included in FOMO? Like, oh man, you sat home and watched Severance with your dog? I'd be like,

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You'll never. No. So Lauren, do you need to be almost... I find the energy to leave the house to be like, it is an endeavor. I have to endeavor.

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Yes. I prefer that. But Brittany, you're...

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go out there i i put it on you know how to take it to the streets honestly i try i try but at the same time i really enjoy like how i spend my rent money you know like staying home spent i've never heard it put that way but i kind of like that yeah what are you doing tonight i'm spending my rent money how you doing that i'm gonna sit on the couch i'm staying home yeah no i i actually think that's that's great uh uh i am and i think to sometimes people's surprise

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Right. But that was the CHIPS Act, which was basically like, oh, well.

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very introverted. And I don't, even when I was younger, the jobs I had were I bartended, I went out and did standup comedy. So it gave me the illusion of having friends or being out. But I really, I like that. It's so much more preferable to socialize. Not that I don't, there's many people that I love and I like to see sometimes and all that, but boy, inertia wise,

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As far as I'm concerned.

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This was a cocktail party. Right now, I'm going back to bed.

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That's what I'm talking about. Brittany, how can they get in touch with us?

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Yeah, and do that because we read them. Well, we don't, but they do. Then they tell me, but generally curated so that I don't go, what? Why would they say that? As always, thank you to everybody. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear.

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And our executive producers, Chris McShane and Katie Gray. As always, this is the Weekly Show Podcast. We'll see you guys next week. Bye-bye. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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Oh, very much so, sir.

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This is your show. Check it out. It's fantastic. Tune in weekly at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Everybody's live with John Mulaney, now playing only on Netflix. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to the weekly show podcast with Jon Stewart. My name is Jon Stewart, and it is March something. I don't know what day we're taping this. March 19th, we're taping this.

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Well, do you think that, Adam, is generally this kind of reshaping done either because of a catastrophic event like the depression or the introduction of a new technology like industrialization or in the case of maybe that neoliberalism, the internet and a more global transportation and supply line hub? Is that generally sort of how this all starts?

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I don't know if you know, Adam, but labor costs for our farming were quite low. I can't remember why, but-

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Well, we also had a system there where I think we made them do that.

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Thank you for that, Adam. Sorab, I want to ask you, that's such an interesting, so the idea is sort of the different bits that we have and the relationship between capital and labor. And what I think Adam is referring to is that idea that the neoliberalism kind of advantaged capital to a certain extent through these technologies.

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So is the idea here, without union power to sort of rebalance this equation, right, between capital and labor, is the idea that protectionism rebalances those bits? How do they plan on rebalancing it? To my mind, I would agree with the basic premise. Financialization and capital should not be advantaged in the way that they have. And I think it puts an imbalance.

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So is the question here just how they're trying to rebalance it?

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Well, break that down a little bit then. Are you talking about sort of a central, a federalized system, central banks, a way of government intervention and creating markets?

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I don't know when it's going to air. Probably March 20th, which gives 24 hours. for more shit to happen that will not be addressed in any way, shape, or form on the podcast because things are moving. They're moving quickly, ladies and gentlemen. This week, we did a bit on the show concerning what we might consider for the Democrats a sense of fecklessness.

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As we're about to take over... panama but sorry i don't know if you know this but you may have stumbled into if i may the sequel to hamilton i think hamilton to the economic foundation maybe not a rap opera but i i think it would be it'd be wise but so this gets us back to and maybe we're we're backing off for a bit but laissez-faire economics is sort of the uh doctrine the the invisible hand and

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We've never actually had it, have we? It's not a real thing. I don't know if the French have a word for a very visible hand, but the hand is always visible. It's just a question of where we decide to place it. Would that be accurate, Adam?

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How dare you say those faces aren't real?

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Feckle, feckles, fecklessness, fecklessful. Are people feckful? There's a feckless, but there's really nobody who is feckful. And maybe that's what the Democrats are looking for. Somebody feckful. You can find some feckfulness. And obviously, Senator Charles Schumer was the avatar through which we passed our frustrations, our angers, our sadness, our desperation.

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Hell to the yes, sir. That is my language. So let's stop for a second. I think what we're agreeing is, A, governments always make different choices, whether it's through infrastructure, economic policy, monetary policy, where they can influence. the direction and capabilities of the economy that which they're trying to build. Everybody makes choices of how they're going to stimulate the economy.

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The second thing is the Trump administration very clearly is reengineering how that economy works through their tariff program. And I imagine through deregulation and other sorts of more libertarian aspects to it. I guess the question that maybe we need to ask is, is it necessary? I would say that yes, we have a real issue of inequality.

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Maybe one of the most chilling Oval Office meetings I can't even begin to describe when the president of El Salvador, Bukele, came and sat with President Trump. There is a gentleman from Maryland that they say is a terrorist and is MS-13. But they've offered no compelling proof of such other than, I guess he has a Chicago Bulls hat. Which, by the way, as a Knicks fan, I am not against that.

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Certainly not how they're framing it. I mean, do you remember the plane goes down just recently, right after the inauguration in D.C. And the first thing they did... ist, rauszukommen und zu sagen, der Grund, warum das passiert, ist wegen unserer DEI-Polizien. Um Gottes willen, es könnte ein lesbischer Luftfahrzeugkontroller gewesen sein.

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Weg von dem Fakt, dass... Also du denkst, es ist zynisch, nur zynisch. Oh, absolut. Sie glauben nicht an diese Scheiße.

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Yeah, they got, I think, $900 million of pro bono, which reminds me of like, it's like a lifetime supply of turtle wax. Like, who's going to use $900 million?

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Right, and not necessarily activists. There's a difference also between ideologue activists and people that just lean left.

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People that listen to the radio. Die Leute, die Geschichte lernen.

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Or I will remove all of your research grants for pediatric cancer.

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Vielen Dank.

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We're back.

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Menschen in Gefängniskämpfe zu senden, um Fans der Chicago Bulls zu sein. Verstehe nicht, dass die Polizei das nicht versteht. Ich will nur den Fortschritt für diese Art von Aktionen. Aber das, was ich gefunden habe, war, dass ich denke, dass die Erfreulichkeit, die Freude, die sie so aussehen,

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By the way, has signed no legislation.

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Zero.

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Ich erinnere mich, dass er gleich danach zu einem Abendessen war. Es war so erstaunlich, all das Chaos, das er gegründet hat, zu sehen. Und er ist dort in seinem Tuxedo und sagt, sie sind alle meine Arschlöcher. Alle diese Länder, sie sind meine Arschlöcher. Als ob das der Ziel war, dass sie Tribute bezahlen. Hat es dich überrascht, dass Corporate Entities

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und kulturelle Einrichtungen und Rechtsfirmen so verabschiedet und subservient waren. Sie haben das so einfach gemacht. Es war, als Harvard sagte, ja, wir werden das nicht tun, und du dachtest, oh mein Gott, ich werde die Seite von Harvard nehmen. Aber als sie das gemacht haben, dachtest du, ist das nur, weil sie ein Entdeckungsrecht haben, oder ist das der Anfang eines Bulkheads?

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Wartest du überrascht, wie schnell Apple und Amazon, they were all at the inauguration. Everybody bent the knee

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Sie entfernen Regulierung, sie entfernen alles, was in ihrem Weg stehen würde.

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in dem Flöten, was auch immer der Durchgang ist oder was auch immer die Sicherheitsmaßnahmen von einem System sind. Sie sind da, um zu schützen.

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What was the shakedown, Heather? Because I still don't quite understand what he was threatening or why. I know he was going to say, oh, I'll strip your security or I'll make it harder for you to get clients. But the why of it is, what is he saying they've done?

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And is she suggesting that that is an illegal act that they undertook?

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Das ging nicht gut mit meiner Spine.

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um sicherzustellen, dass schlechte Menschen und gute Menschen die selben Arten, das ist die ganze Maßnahme einer funktionierenden Gesellschaft, einer guten Gesellschaft, ist, dass wir sicher genug und stark genug sind, um für unsere größten Verletzten zu bieten, dass sie bieten können, die gleichen Rechte und Anliegen, die jeder hat. Das ist der Punkt.

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And they use the law, Heather. I think what's so interesting in this moment is how thorough they've been in using the law in the history of this country. I feel like one of the mechanisms that they utilize is catastrophizing the moment that we were in to justify emergency powers. And then they're going through and they're saying, let's use the Alien Enemies Act from...

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Let's use in 1950s, there was an emergency tariff construction use that was used for that. Let's use what Roosevelt might have used in the 40s. So they've actually, they've gone through and they have built their own justification and infrastructure through the history of this country. They have used it Historisch.

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Und sie zu sehen, dass sie glücklich sind über dieses Individuums Deportation zu einem schrecklichen, legendären Gefängnis in El Salvador, wo seine Familie nicht mehr in Kontakt mit ihm ist, zu sehen, dass er nichts getan hat, außer in der Landwirtschaft, glaube ich,

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Aber wie lustig war es, ihn zu sehen und zu sagen, ich werde die illegalen Aliens benutzen. Du wolltest nur sagen, wer hat ihm darüber gesprochen?

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Right.

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Es ist ein Reset.

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Kids dying of measles.

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Aber das, was so wild zu sehen ist, ist die Art und Weise, wie sie manipuliert haben, was diese Forschung betrifft, um es so auszusehen, als wäre es gewissermaßen Diversitäts-Porn, dass es einfach nur Universitäten sagen, oh, wir haben all diese Geld, aber wir müssen zumindest die Hälfte davon geben, Ja. Ja.

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Illegalerweise, wenn du denkst, dass das die Verletzung für jemanden, der Asyl sucht, wäre, weißt du, ich weiß nicht, was ich dir sagen soll. Und zu sehen, dass der Ghoul von Ghouls, Stephen Miller, einfach so hart darüber spricht. Es ist schockierend. Aber in ihm, die Böden der Resistenz, beginnen zu flüchten. Und wo kommen sie her? Harvard.

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We are back. And I think they've done something even more insidious, which is to suggest as common sense The idea that if a black person or a woman or anyone who is not of the default setting has a position, that it is a position that has been gained through the manipulation of a system. I have a friend whose daughter is brilliant, black woman, young, you know, just getting out of college.

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And what he was saying is, she's summa cum laude. And you know what the like fucked up thing is? No one's going to believe it. ist die Art und Weise, wie er es aufgebaut hat, dass sie nur da ist durch die Gnade der liberalen Schuld. Sie ist nur da, weil die Unmöglichkeit der Meritokratie sie in diese Position gelegt hat und sie hochgezogen hat und sie das Ding gegeben hat.

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Und es war so deutlich für ihn erschreckend, dass die Idee, dass ihre Erfolge jetzt in diese Art von

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negative light and i wanna see if we can sort of their objections to that is somehow they keep saying we want to get back to that meritocracy but when when was that like what what are they talking about and and and how do you address that idea that these people who are achieving things in spite of the the their circumstances are now being viewed

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It is the only thing that allows me to get places now, even reasonably on time, is I need to thank whoever that is. I need to write them a thank you note.

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Boy, Heather, that's such, you know, look at what's happened now in education. So years ago they thought, well, women are being held back, so let's encourage them. Let's encourage them to get into STEM. Let's encourage them to get education. And now the big talk is, hey, what about boys?

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None of us want to take their side, but yes, Harvard, finally, an organization has stood up and said, oh, you know, I actually think this is so fucked that we're actually going to risk huge financial penalties to stand up on principle. Thank God. You know, I was going to go to Harvard. A lot of people don't know that. Ich wollte nach Harvard, aber sie hatten einen Test, um da reinzukommen.

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They're getting their asses kicked by women, as though women have been so advantaged now that boys can't compete on that level. It's too skewed. Es ist so interessant für mich, dass sie sagen, wir müssen den Schaden, der durch Gleichheit gemacht wurde, reparieren.

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Ich meine, das ist sozusagen... Das ist, was sie sagen. Richtig. Das ist, was sie sagen. Und so müssen sie... Es ist so eine interessante Sache zu sehen. Aber es kommt auch zu dem Punkt, dass es irgendwie Metriken gibt, die nicht subjektiv sind. that somehow hiring in the good old days was not subjective. No, it's based completely on qualifications, which everyone knows is nonsense.

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College applications are subjective. Hiring is subjective. Everything is. Other than things that are literally math. Like if you watch a dude score 35 points a game and get 11 rebounds, that is unassailably objective measures. But as far as

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who you're going to hire, of course it is, oh, he was recommended by Johnny and Johnny's a good dude, so I'm going to get him or I talk to him and I feel comfortable with him.

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And by the way, too, diversity is also, as you say that, race, gender, but also veterans. Veterans, thank you. Or people that might have a disability. There's so many different metrics to that.

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You know, Heather, I want to ask you, Waren es Zufälle in der DEI? Weil alles, was du sagst, in meiner Erfahrung auch, war das.

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Selbst zu dem Punkt, dass wenn ich eine Schriftführungsstelle stelle, vergiss es nicht um Frauen oder Menschen der Farbe, ich brauche ein paar Leute, die wirklich gute Scherzschläfer sind, aber ich brauche ein paar Leute, die mehr absurdistische Denker sind oder ein paar Leute, die mehr... Du hast etwas designt, damit niemand die selbe Fähigkeit erhält, weil du dann keine Rechnung hast.

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Und dann kam ich nicht rein, weil sie einen Test hatten. Es war wirklich hart. Also bin ich irgendwo anders gegangen. Aber das, schau, Hilfe und Bedürfnis, wo auch immer wir es bekommen können, und ich denke, es könnte die Beginne der anderen Organisationen sein, endlich zu realisieren, dass es kein Gewinn in der Abschaffung von Unmoralität gibt. Und wir hoffen es.

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Was ist es also passiert, das plötzlich die führungsvollste Kraft in vielen Bereichen gemacht hat? of an utter transformation of American politics? Was it the seminar? Is it me too? Is it the idea that I can't even look at a woman? Is it the idea that, oh, now I have to think about if someone in my office might be gay so I can't do the voice I like doing? What drives this?

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Because I've always looked at DEI programs as what the hierarchical system allows you to do, rather than attack what are the real issues of communities left behind and do the real work of building equity in places that had equity removed by literal legislation. They make sure that there's somebody who has an office that says diversity and they make you sit through an hour once a year.

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What is going on?

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And suspicious of diversity, really suspicious of it.

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Of those programs.

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The ones who weren't being performative. That's right. von diesen Programmen in der Arbeitsgruppe, was sie sagen würden, ist, dass es weiße Menschen dämonisiert. Es macht uns, es macht sie alle schuldig, dass sie nichts damit zu tun hatten. Es gibt Jobs raus.

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Wenn ich für einen Job bin und eine Farbperson für einen Job ist, weiß ich, dass ich es nicht bekommen werde, weil das Spielfeld jetzt andersherum getilgt ist. Das ist die vorliegende Wissensarbeit. Right.

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Okay. And in the NFL, they have to interview at least one black person. They just have to. Right.

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Und unsere Gäste heute, Junge, sie hat geschrieben über die Schmerzen von Unmoralität und was es zu einer Gesellschaft tut und wie es sie erodiert. Und ich bin so gespannt. I haven't spoken to her in, God, it's got to be a year or so. So I'm delighted that she was able to join us today. So let's get to her. So we're going to bring in our esteemed guest.

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Hast du an der Hand die Idee, hier sind einige DEI-Programme, die ich glaube, wirklich effektiv sind, die es richtig gemacht haben, die keine Proforma-Schäme oder Fingerwaggen benutzt haben und die in einer Art und Weise gestaltet sind, um den richtigen Veränderungen zu effektivieren, ohne das Resentiment zu erzeugen?

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Wie viele?

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Komm schon, Heather.

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Ich glaube, es war in Südkorea. Ich glaube, es war spezifisch in ihrer Deklaration des Krieges. Es war so, dass die Slaverie hier sein muss oder wir gehen.

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I'm so delighted to have an opportunity to speak with her again. Ladies and gentlemen, Heather McGee, author of The Sum of Us. Heather. John. What the hell?

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And not designed to shame either party, designed to facilitate.

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Let's talk about that because the word privilege, you know, when we talk about in the language of snowflakes and things like that, you know, the triggering, you know, people's lives are hard. White people's lives are hard. And so when they can hear you're privileged, it can trigger a kind of

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Warte, und das, wie separierst du diese Idee, dass es nicht darum geht, zu sagen, deine Leben sind großartig und meine schmerzen, weil ich in einer Minoritätsgruppe bin, sondern dass das Leben hart ist und wie in vielen Fällen diese Racialität und Gender und all diese Dividenden da sind, um Menschen nicht zusammenzukommen,

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und effektiv gegen die echten Probleme der körperlichen Dominanz oder andere Dinge in diesen Linien drücken. Genau. Wie nimmst du die Macht aus dieser Worte, damit die Leute nicht sofort mit der Anwendung davon getötet werden?

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Das sagst du ihm. Geh weg. Oh, nicht ich. Das ist nicht mein Stil.

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Nein, ich... Hör auf.

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Ich...

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Wie litigieren wir das, Heather? Denn das ist dann... Das letzte Stück davon ist, dass du die Beweise hast, du hast die Geschichte zu erzählen. Wie kritisieren wir diesen Fall? Denn ich glaube nicht, dass er gut kritisiert worden ist.

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We're draining the pool.

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Und algorithmisch betrieben, ja.

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That's right. It does feel like there is an awful lot of cutting our noses trotz unserer Gesichter. Und ich, du weißt, es gibt so viele verschiedene Dinge zu Beginn. Also lasst uns mit dem Angriff auf amerikanische Universitäten anfangen. Lass uns einfach dort anfangen und wir gehen weiter. Um Menschen von der Lehre über Slavery oder Gender zu halten, sind sie bereit,

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Und übrigens, große Einflüsse in die verschiedenen Gemeinschaften, Minoritätsgemeinschaften, die er viel besser gemacht hat. als er es vorher gemacht hätte. Aber du hast eine großartige Worte genannt, immisere. Und du hast darüber gesprochen, wie sich die Wirtschaft mit den Riesen befindet.

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Und ich glaube, dass der vorliegende emotionale Wunsch dieser Wahlveränderung ist, dass sich die Wirtschaft mit den Riesen befindet in Bezug auf Schwarze, Frauen und unbefugte Immigranten. Diejenigen, die am meisten in den meisten ökonomischen Ergebnissen verletzt werden, sind diejenigen, die wohl erhöht wurden.

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Du arbeitest hart, aber du bekommst nichts davon. Sie sind diese Wohlfahrtsleute.

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Hello everybody, welcome to the weekly show program. My name is Jon Stewart. I am coming to you on, well, today is Wednesday, April 16th. You'll probably see this tomorrow, I guess Thursday, April 17th, because crack team, they turn this shit around on the doubles. Believe me, it's no easy task, given the general audio and visual flubs that are my podcasting style.

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momentum in in the wrong direction are you seeing the nascent buds of an effective block an effective unified group that can build some guard rails where so many others have failed and and is there any advice that you give about sort of becoming a useful part of that

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American ingenuity in research and education and the value of all that, not just to the country, but to the world. Are you surprised at how easily they dismiss the contributions of these institutions?

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Für ein Op-Ed in einem Tufts-Universitätsbuch.

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Aber du musst dir bewusst sein, dass wir immer sagen, dass das nicht uns ist. Und du denkst, dass es uns ist. Und du musst dir klar überlegen, wie man sich überzeugen muss und wie viel es passieren muss. Und auch vielleicht, und ich liebe die Analyse von Be Ready, wie Heather McGee sagt, die Füße der Beine, Leute. Geht in die Bereitschaft und seid bereit zu gehen.

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Aber wir leben auch in einer Ära von immediate Satisfaktion. Das wird ein Schlag sein. As they always are. It's the thing I like to say when they say, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. And you think, well, not by itself. And there are certainly a lot of people trying to bend it back.

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Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Sie geben es uns, Heather, das ist für sicher.

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Black people started getting elected mayor.

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Oh, ich wusste nicht, dass es eine... Ich dachte, es war ein politischer Kompromiss, aber es war nicht.

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Oh, Heather, du hast es mir gerade umgedreht. Du hattest mich, ich ging in die Höhle, Heather. You just turned it around for me. Keep it going, Heather.

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Oh man, you just blew my mind in the sense of not only that we'd be a better country, but because of the trial. Du wirst mit einer größeren Resilienz, einer größeren Verständnis und einer stärkeren Foundation herauskommen. Ich glaube das. Es ist eine Inokulation gegen diese Schmerzen. Heather McGee, das ist einfach wunderschön.

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Gott, wie mühsam ist es, dass schwarze Frauen immer wieder aus einem Höhlen auswählen müssen?

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Yeah, yeah. Heather McGee, author of The Sum of Us. I can't thank you enough for spending the time. And it's always such a pleasure to talk to you. And I can't wait to see what's coming next from you.

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Woof!

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Folks, that was a rollercoaster ride for me. I gotta tell you, there were moments of despair, but the beautiful thing about Heather McGee is, she will lay it out there steely-eyed and clearly, and just as you are about to maybe, you feel that little hint of resignation crawling up your back, she will bring you back to that sense of duty and power and really invigorate you.

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dass das ein wertvoller Moment ist. Ein wertvoller Moment und du wirst nicht immer bereit sein, was notwendig ist, aber du musst dich absolut bereit halten. Und She's just fabulous and sobering, but also, I think, inspiring. So thank you guys very much. You can always reach us on social media.

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As always, I want to thank lead producer Lauren Walker, producer Brittany Mimetevic, video editor and engineer Rob Vitolo, audio editor and engineer Nicole Boyes, researcher and associate producer Jillian Speer, and our executive producers Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Thank you for joining us. See you next time. Paramount Podcasts

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Und es ist eine sinnvolle Kontrolle, Heather. Das Interessante für mich ist, dass es nicht nur Flattery ist, sondern es ist wirklich sinnvoll, in dem Sinne, dass sie das, was sie glauben, die Werte, die das Land erheben sollte, wiedergleichen. Und was ich so interessant fand, du weißt, ich habe gehört, dass sie über die Produktion sprechen. and bringing back manufacturing, the resilience of it.

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And I've yet to see somebody suggest that it isn't a good idea to bring back some manufacturing or to try and make the country more resilient. But they talk about it in terms of we've lost masculinity. And I keep thinking to myself, so wouldn't that be some type of affirmative action? Are we DEI-ing? Ja, ich meine, lasst uns klar sein, affirmative action.

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It was the default setting, the default setting of America.

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Very frequently, just to give you people a hint of the behind-the-scenes issues, I have to be told at the beginning of every episode, please try not to keep kicking your desk, because people then begin to think there are mild earthquakes in your region. and it may be slightly disturbing.

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Please run those through. Run through the explicit policies, because this is such an important issue, Heather, because they keep talking about manufacturing was hollowed out because of policy. So we have to, and I hate to use the word, Reparations, but we have to repair the damage of these policies. So please explain specifically some of those policies that excluded people from building equity.

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Heather, it's just because that's the one, you know, and I talked to O'Reilly's whole like persona comes out of that. Like I'm from Levittown, hardscrabble people that pull themselves up by the bootstraps and did the values. And you're like, right. And you know, black people weren't allowed to live there, right?

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Those GI Bill homes that were built and paid for by the government excluded specifically black people.

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Du musst den Pinprick machen und du musst sicher sein. Das ist richtig.

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Say that again?

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Speaking of mild earthquakes, folks, the interesting thing to me, so how fucked up do you have to do something that can turn our attention from a global economic meltdown, self-caused, an economic punching ourselves in the dick of these tariffs? What would you have to do to kind of divert the attention from that? And what you would have to do is hold...

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So this is the argument, Heather, that I think is so important, which is to separate the moral component from the practical and pragmatic component. Because I think so often the morality of it is centered at the argument and people forget that this is also a practical argument. So here's their counter. We need to live in a meritocracy.

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und zu ermöglichen, okay, es gab Zauber und Jim Crow und du konntest keine Häuser kaufen und du wurdest von bestimmten Orten ausgeschlossen. Also geben wir dir zwei Punkte auf deine Hochschulapplikation, also sind wir gut, richtig? Und dann gingen die anderen Leute, zwei Punkte auf eine Hochschulapplikation, das ist so unfair, das ist nicht Amerika.

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The argument against it is always, oh, you want to reach out and bring in people of color to be pilots? Oh, don't they have to learn how to fly planes? As though it's only race or gender or that that's what diversity is. How do you talk about that? with people who believe that?

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And how do you not help them understand that opening up these supply lines that have not been used is actually increasing competition?

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And the reaction I had was a kind of embarrassment that my daughter, for whom this would be a formative political memory, saw this as we are having to erect barriers to keep Americans who are trying to seize power at any cost. And this is just, this should not be who we are. Not that it isn't, but it is who we should not be. So we don't need to keep doing my therapy, but I appreciate it.

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No, that's what we're here for today. I appreciate that. To heal John Meacham, who is at odds with his own career. Right. Okay, we've got to take just a quick break and we shall be right back.

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We are back. You know, I wonder though, John, isn't Trump in some respects... it's almost a throwback presidency to a time of kind of manifest destiny. Like there is, there are things about his presidency that are explicit, you know, explicitly 19th century values. There's a certain amount of Seward's folly and there's a certain amount of. It's the Mexican war. It's Polk. Right.

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When it was, you know, and, and to be purposefully crass, uh, It is a theory of power that he expressed in his interview with Billy Bush, which is we're going to grab them by the whatever. And that is how America, in some respects, used to operate. And is Trump just explicitly expressing the implicit way that America has operated in the world? Are we overreacting based on his style rather than

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what he is actually saying to do. Like when he says, hey, Greenland, underneath you are all these things that are very important to us. So I hate to tell you this, we're going to have to take you over as opposed to the modern presidency, which would be Greenland. We would love to elevate you democratically. Like we would couch it in higher value and higher morals, but ultimately the result being

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Please, God, let this nightmare for those folks be done and let the healing and rebuilding of that area which is going to be a Herculean and emotional task. Please let that start in this moment. Boy, what an awful. And it really, I think, accentuates the kind of tenuous moment that I think a lot of people are feeling themselves in.

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a slightly imperialistic and colonial grab.

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Does that make sense? It does. Would we invite them to a yellow pad conference, give them a free fleece, and then take their country?

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Exactly right.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Brookings approach as opposed to the bully. Brookings versus bullying. That's right. Is where we are. Yes, is the answer. I'm all for... vigorous and unconventional debate. The Greenland thing was one of those moments where you're sort of sitting there and you're thinking, this is crazy, but then you go, I wonder, maybe we want Greenland.

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You know, I mean, it's sort of that.

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We've certainly tried to buy it in the past.

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You know, so, and it's not top of mind, I think, for a lot of people. I don't think, I live in Nashville. I don't think down on Broadway. You know, they're singing Friends in Low Places and thinking Greenland. Maybe not, but I'll tell you what, Chattanooga, they've been about this for years. Hey, don't mess with the home folks. All right, fair enough.

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Moon pies and Coca-Cola. Right, believe me, if the ingredients to make moon pies were underneath Greenland, they'd be all about it, brother.

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They'd be down there. So if he wants to bring up crazy stuff, That's perfectly fine to me. I just don't want him to try to steal elections. I don't want him bullying judges. I don't want him appointing only the cast of Fox News to hold ultimate power.

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Right.

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And look, people like us... I think a lot of folks on the right might say that the people on this screen right now are one of the reasons Donald Trump is president. I think that exaggerates, to say the least.

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I lay it mostly at my feet. Well, you should. I think you're out clean, but I think it's mostly at my feet.

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Well, let me tell you, so one more story. Yeah. So this is where, and this is, since we're doing full therapy. So I am famous, not famous. You are famous. No, no, on the right, there's a trope in that part of the world On the night of the final presidential debate in 2020, this is another thing about my children. It was here in Nashville.

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It was that horrible one, remember, where Trump wouldn't stop talking and all that. It was really embarrassing. And I took another child of mine down to the actual debate. I'd never been in a hall for one of those.

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Do you guys not have like a great adventure down there? Is it always, every time you take, every story about your children is like, and I took them to a legislative session. Where they got to watch a certain amount of gerrymandering that was occurring.

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And then we went to the subcommittee.

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Are they ever like, Dad, you know, they make roller coasters. You can get on them?

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No, no, no. We don't do that. We're very, very serious here. So, and I came back and I do my TV stuff from my basement. Mm-hmm. And so I was doing, say, commenting at, say, 11 p.m., And it had really been a kind of, again, unsettling moment where you had an incumbent president trying to bully a former vice president. It just wasn't where we wanted to be, in my view.

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And it was one of these things where President Trump had kept sort of talking about the mayor of Moscow. He was speaking in this kind of Fox News.

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That's right. Russia, Russia, Russia and all that. Yeah.

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And different illusions I didn't fully understand. So I was sitting there talking probably to Brian Williams and what do you think? And I said, you know, something to the following effect. You know, Donald Trump basically appeals to the white man's lizard brains. And it's sort of this elemental thing, which is what I meant.

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Now, that was a gift wrapped to right wing ecosystem because suddenly it became that I had called Trump supporters lizard brains. Right. And it was fairly, there were threats, you know, there was, you know, all that stuff. Familiar with that. Yeah, absolutely you are. More so. And it was a lesson to me that you can't walk into it.

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know as we move towards this inauguration day and and and no one can know what's going to happen but boy trepidation is our constant companion as we lead into this we've been promised shock and awe and not in the good way i don't believe you know there are those moments of anticipation that you have you know there's some anticipatory moments where you're like

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The basic point I was trying to make was that there is an elemental feel here. Greenland is part of that. Right. It's like, all right, we, as you were just saying, we want to grab it. One of the things that worries me most, and tell me if you're seeing this in your world, I think this exhaustion, the resistance exhaustion is a very real thing.

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Oh, no, I think there's, there's no question about that. I think, you know, you, you spoke of, you know, January 6th and 2020 being a demarcation point for you. And I, and I feel the same way, you know, we can talk about degrees of,

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expansionist rhetoric or all kinds of other things or, you know, Trump certainly isn't the first president who has enemies lists or who is doing things explicitly through the influence of, you know, corporate power, any of these other things. They're all in there. The line of demarcation for me always within

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You know, a democracy that has a peaceful transfer of power is a democracy until there's no until the person decides like, hey, you know what? I think maybe I'm not leaving like that to me is the moment. And rather than that moment being disqualifying, you know, that moment seemed to be in some respects a rallying point. We didn't get to do it this time. And then to see that.

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I guess what you would say devaluing of the democratic process, be rewarded with a grander victory than what it was, I think is the most dispiriting part of it that I'm seeing. But the second part of it, John, is, and I'm curious what you think about this, you know, every new media is going to create some kind of

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a change in structure, a kind of seismic shift, whether it was radio, whether it was TV, I think They are better at this new – they are Kennedy and television when it comes to this new media as opposed to – and I think the Democrats are Nixon with the sweaty lip going, I don't need makeup. I look great.

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I think that's part of it when you talk about – I said lizard brain by mistake and they took it. i think a let me in our therapy session excuse you because you can't outsmart social media you cannot be so careful i would urge you not to be because it doesn't matter your framing it doesn't matter a casual slip they will find the root of attack and there will be a relentlessness to it

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that you just have to accept as part of it is the congestion pricing of having and operating an artisan talk shittery, of being someone who expresses opinions. But it's not real. Those have been weaponized for that. But I don't think that the left has figured out in any manner how to make that work for them.

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I think that's right. And it's one of the great mysteries. Al Gore tried to fix this 20 years ago. In what way? Remember, he started a network. Oh, yeah. Remember current? Yes. And it's just an interesting thing. And it's also – we shouldn't whine about it. Political power, as you say, often accrues to those who master the means of communication.

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Right. But also the message. I think – And here's where I think it's a more difficult situation than I think people give it credit to. It's not just Trump as a bad actor or January 6th or any of those things. I think increasingly democracy is an analog system in a digital world. And the chasm that that creates between the emotional catastrophizing of its people versus the kind of glacial pace

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oh, tomorrow it's my birthday and we're having an ice cream bar. And then there's this moment of anticipation, which feels a little bit more like, I think my parents are sending me forcefully to a wilderness camp. There is, I just, boy, you feel like you're staring down the barrel of something not fun.

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of change. I do think democracy itself has to find a way for government to be more agile and responsive. I have sympathy for those who believe that our government is not responsive to the discomfort of its own people in large measure.

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Yes. And one of the first times that argument was made was by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Charles Lindbergh.

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You're taking us back to America first. I thought you were going to say William Jennings Bryan. I had no idea you were going Lindbergh.

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Anne Morrow Lindbergh. You are a man of surprises, Mitchell. That's me, baby. The book was called The Wave of the Future. And it was a big bestseller in the 40s. Yep. And the argument was that what was happening in Rome, Berlin and Moscow was more suitable to a globalized world that was shrinking because of air power and technology. Wow. And that a totalitarian system might be more commensurate.

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with the challenges of a world that required quicker national action. And I've heard American presidents talk about this in private. Not that they're for it, but that they understand the impulse. And to me, democracy is fundamentally a moral question. And not in a Sunday school way, but it's how we are with each other, right?

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And I'm on the right side of the economic equation, you know, and I would probably, I'm certain I would have a different view or different views if I were in a different place or if I were a different person. That goes without saying. But the moments in American history where we have done things differently

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Right?

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You're going better angels on us.

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I'm going better angels on us, but it's a 51-49 thing. Mm-hmm. And it's not, here you go, it's not better angels because it's just the right thing to do.

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So here's another story. Where did you take your kids this time? We went to an essay contest. This is gonna be, actually, get ready. This is about Greenwich Country Day School in the 1930s.

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You can't get more Episcopalian than that, sir.

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George Herbert Walker Bush was the most glamorous boy in the school. Yes, I'm sure. He was about to go off to Andover to boarding school. There was an obstacle course race at Greenwich Country Day School. He always won it. The faculty came to him in his last year and said, would you let everybody else have a head start? He said, sure. Whatever that voice would be when you're 13th.

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There was a boy in the school named Bennett McNichol. Come on. Get ready. Not true. Bennett McNichol was a fairly rotund lad. He had not paid attention to Mrs. Obama's school lunch program. That's important to the story. Right. But he will pay attention to RFK Jr. 's school lunch program. Get ready. All right. Everybody goes off. Then Bush goes.

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You know, there are a lot of things people can shoot at you through a barrel, one of them being a t-shirt at a sporting event, and that's fun, but this doesn't appear to be one of those moments, but obviously I, I want to withhold a certain judgment, but in these moments, I do find myself looking for historical perspective and solace truly. Like it does.

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He's going through a series of barrels on the ground, narrow barrels in the obstacle course. And he pops out and he looks to his right and Bennett McNichol is stuck in the barrel. Can't get out. Bush reaches down, pulls Bennett out, says, come on, Bennett, we'll finish this together. All right.

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It's the kind of story, right, that a presidential family tells about their chieftain to say what a great person he was. But I didn't hear it from a Bush. I heard it from a McNichol. And so I took it to the old man. This was 10, 15 years ago. And I said, Mr. President, I just heard this story about Bennett McNichol. First thing he said was, Bennett, he loved lunch. I said, no, no, no.

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Really not the point, sir. He said, is he still big? I said, not the point. I said, why did you take him out of the barrel? And George Bush looked at me really as if I were crazy. And he said, listen to what he said. I'd never been stuck in a barrel, but if I had been, I'd want somebody to pull me out. It wasn't I did it because it was the right thing to do.

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I did it because my better angels told me what to do. I did it because my mother read me the Bible. It was a practical act of covenant. He might need help, so he gave help.

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And that was the first point of light. Yep, there you go. The thousand points of light. There you go. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break and be right back.

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We are back. So this is, in some respects, you're looking at this as the American public has in some ways voted for the more Hobbesian approach. Bingo. That the idea is that's a lovely sentiment. But here's what you have to do in the real world. Leave heavier people in the barrels.

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Yep. Because otherwise. You got to keep moving. Yeah. You got to go beat China. You got to go beat China. Yeah. Right. China's over here. Leave poor Bennett. Yeah, that's exactly right. And if the Hobbesian scholars write in, you respond.

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But it's Hobbes versus Locke, right? Locke was sort of, well, the state of nature is we all believe in liberty and each other. Hobbes said, no, it's the war of all against all. That's the state of nature. And that the state of nature requires a strong man, a monarch, to run it. That's absolutely where we are.

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I, it does help me to view it through the prism of the cycles that we've been through in the country and, and the other up, up, up and down cycles and the terrible tribulations and the interesting triumphs and the unexpected moments.

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But in that, were we kidding ourselves about Locke? I mean, in some respects, isn't what then H.W. would represent is a benevolent

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dictator as opposed to a more ruthless one because i guess that was my point originally are we kind of putting on blinders and this brings us around sort of more full circle to what we're talking about which is are we now seeing our system more clearly as it is like even let's talk about you know there's this sort of kind of uh idea of you know money controls our system

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Well, now we're seeing it explicitly, and it's always sort of hidden and lobbying groups and all that. Meanwhile, Elon Musk comes in and says, I'll give you $270 million, and that investment will pay off in $200 billion. Are we just seeing the dynamics of the system? Is it like those watches?

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If you remember, there was those old watches where you could turn them over and you could see how it worked. Yeah. And you could see the gears. Are we really just seeing the gears now? in a way that's more explicit? And were we kidding ourselves that this country really was a country of pulling people out of barrels? I think... Is that too cynical? No, no, it's not.

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It's not. I'm sensing your disappointment. No, it's... I'm thinking because I want to... I think this is why history has a moral utility, right? I think that it's... And I'm to be serious for a second. It is absolutely rational to have a cynical... fatalistic reaction to the fact that 49.9% of the voters chose to do this again.

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And all I would say is that I could make a pretty good case that our better moments have always been counterintuitive, countercultural. Elaborate.

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It took, think, so Franklin Roosevelt, who redefines the relation of the state and the country, eliminates poverty among the elderly with social security, took people, gave them some dignity, gave them some work, didn't really want to integrate war contracts. and rounded up the Japanese Americans.

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So Hobbes and Locke working together.

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In one person.

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Right.

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And so we've been doing this since the third chapter of Genesis, right? And we are- We're driven by apples. There was a piece of fruit. They said, don't take it. We said, no. No, I want that.

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And, and so the guest today on our, on our first pod back of 2025 is someone who I think, uh, is most able to provide that kind of perspective and content and context and thoughtfulness. So I'm just going to damn get to it for God's sakes. So let's do it. Welcome back weekly show pod and our first guest

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The one thing. We had everything. And then fruit. One weekend, they're like, you know what I would like? Fruit. Some kind of a crumble. What do you think? Apple crumble?

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We did it for Harry and David's. Oh, for God's sake. We did it for a box of pears. What is wrong with us? But but therefore we the fact that Harry Truman and Lyndon Johnson and George H.W. Bush and Joe Biden, the fact that flawed, sinful, broken people. We're still able in extremists. To do something that broadened the mainstream.

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that put us a little more in compliance with the declaration is not something, the way you articulated a second ago was a glass half empty. I think that it's, I don't wanna say it's half full, but it's a quarter full And I think that's what makes history. I think that's what is a source of hope is that realizing that all these people in the past were just as miserable as we are. Right? Yes.

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Right.

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Still a pretty large face.

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Very large.

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That's the tension. It's awe-inspiring. I find that that memorial is the one for me that I think is most visceral in our pantheon. When you go down there, I've always found that I've never been much impressed by marble and limestone and the structures. And boy, when you walk into Treasury, you really go, oh, you're expecting a revolution.

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Because when you walk into Treasury, you really go, so where's Marie Antoinette's office? Yeah, right. Because I'd like to go see her. It is gilded to the nines. And you really do get a sense of, if the people find out, you know, they're going to, they're going to have you melt down some of this gold leaf and that's exactly right.

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Uh, but there is something about the simplicity of the Lincoln Memorial, the scale of it, uh, that I have always, and also because I, I view this civil war always as our darkest moment. And in some respects are most fortunate to have, to have had the North, the non-slave owning side triumph. Because without that, I just don't know what this all would have been for, if that makes sense.

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That's true. And it's another thing, again, on our therapeutic, now for you,

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I am optimistic, John. I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I remain optimistic.

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Well, I'm dork Klonopin here. And so I want to offer you something. So to me, the thing is that Americans never, as President Biden said, literally, we never just wake up and say, hey, let's do the right thing. We didn't wake up in 1861 and say, you know what? Human enslavement, let's phase it out. Yeah, this is bad. No, we killed probably 750,000 people. And in a country of what?

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Unionize.

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You know what?

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Maybe we should- It was always born of violence to a large extent.

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Violence and- The tension between conscience and appetite and the central, to your Hobbes point, the central thing as we head into this next week, power. Right. And everybody wants it. That's from third chapter of Genesis Forward. The remarkable thing about this particular national experiment is that we've kept it from being, we have managed to, let's throw Montesquieu in. How can you not?

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Folks, I can't think of anybody that I would rather talk to in this moment in time than the fabulous historian, bon vivant, gentleman and scholar. Bon vivant. John Meacham, presidential historian, author of And There Was Light, a biography of Lincoln. John, welcome. John. Thank you for joining us in this moment of... Anticipation.

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Exactly. We've managed to divide power in a way that has, it has its frustrations. But it has kept this rickety ship afloat. And maybe, you know what? I think the founders would have been surprised that we lasted this long with this little renovation. I really do. I mean, think about it. If you were like, you know, like we're only going to amend the thing.

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They would not have viewed what they wrote as so sacrosanct as Genesis.

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Oh, my God. It's one of my things. That's a different conversation. But this idea, this idea that a bunch of newspaper, the Federalist Papers were like super tweets. I mean, they were like they were newspaper pieces.

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Right.

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And that's now St. Paul. I mean, my goodness.

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And isn't it interesting that even today we're kind of having the argument, you could almost make the point that the populist right are the anti-federalists. They're the one, they're the anti-federalists.

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They're, they're much more in line with a kind of a unitary executive and a, a moving along those lines, but you brought up something interesting and I know you're on a tight schedule and I want to honor your, your time, but I wanted to make sure before you left, you said something earlier that I thought was really interesting, which is,

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Thank God, one thing.

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This idea, shut up, this idea of power. And I wonder, can you make the same critique? Because for President Biden, who is now leaving on, I think, a much more obviously melancholy note than what you would have imagined, and is sitting in that office Power does not often seed itself. And I know that, you know, and you had written about the Cincinnati moment and him stepping away.

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Do you think that that human flaw is in some ways what didn't allow the president to see maybe his own limitations in that moment and those around him and that That same dynamic that pushes us towards these other changes and trying to get closer to, as you said, the pact that we made in the Declaration. Do you think that was what was at play in that moment?

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Yes. I think that the forces, the... Characteristics that drove President Biden to the pinnacle of power at a very late season in his life in a Greek way were the characteristics and the habits of heart and mind and yes, appetite. That propelled him into a campaign that self-evidently he shouldn't have done. He's my friend. I help him when I can. I don't talk about our conversations.

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So I'm in a very weird position here. But I don't want... I don't want to be dishonest either. Sure, I understand. And so I think that unquestionably, as history looks at President Biden, this remarkable 50-year public life, it is a period of tragic lows and unexpected highs. You know, he was left for dead politically in presidential terms again and again.

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Um, and makes that last campaign in 2020 at what is hard to remember sometimes how dark that hour was. Um, presidential legacies always depend on what comes next. And so I think we're going to be debating this forever, but will Let me put it this way. If this is another kid's trip, I don't want to hear it. No, no, no. So presidents can't have it both ways, right?

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Bon vivant.

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You can't say in a country of 330 million people, I'm the one who should have the nuclear codes and then say, well, I didn't quite see that coming. Right. So too much is given, much is expected. And President Biden will, the debate about his legacy, and arguably every time he's discussed in historical terms, people will have to deal with the following question. Was the skillset

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Bon vivant. I love this. Thank you. I love this. Thank you. Welcome to the salon. Thank you so much for being here. You know, there's so much to talk about, but I want to go off of something that you've said often, which is politicians are mirrors of who we are in many respects and not molders. Yeah. I think that's such an interesting point. With Trump, then, what is the mirror here?

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that produced 48 months of results, was that worth the price of the political confusion that unfolded in 2024. That's the question.

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Right. Well, it's a question that I'm sure that John Meacham will be answering because John Meacham answers questions and I don't want to, listen, John, I don't want to give away too much of your hidden life. But when we first, when we first came on to the program and John was kind enough to join us on the podcast, He was reading just for pleasure. I want to make this very clear.

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This was not a sign. This is not part of a longstanding work. John, would you mind holding up? Do you want to see it? Yeah. Mamie Eisenhower, ladies and gentlemen. This is a man at home in his study. He could be doing anything. Candy Crush, it could be anything. It could be Candy Crush. And in that moment, it is a book on Mamie Eisenhower. Blurbed by Claire Booth Luce. What? I know.

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Notoriously, very flinty about putting the blurbs out. We're very promiscuous in our blurbing. May I ask what Claire's opinion was of this Mamie Eisenhower dump? Just to end this, to put a button on the entire conversation.

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All right. This book is written by Alden Hatch. It was published in, let's see, it was published in 1954. It was big in 54. Had to be. Had to be. Alden Hatch is a personal friend of Mamie's, so he's got hard hitting- He had access. He had access. This, by the way, is also, this is the complete and unabridged. So there may have been an abridged version of red carpet for Mamie.

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And the blurb from Congresswoman Luce is, Mamie Eisenhower is beloved and admired by millions of American women. Apparently the men didn't think about it. The men didn't care for her. Alden Hatch's book makes you understand why. That's good.

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That is good. You know what? A good Luce quote, and that probably is what shot that to the top. And for those of you who haven't seen the movie, Ava Gardner was...

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Well, I'm writing I'm doing a biography of Eisenhower.

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And so fantastic.

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I'm going to spend the rest of the day worried about the battle for Tunisia.

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If you can, I tell you something, though, it is I so love the idea because Eisenhower today would be considered a communist. So I love the idea that it's coming out there. that a man who warned against the military-industrial complex and understood and just wanted to build roads, like the idea that you're putting that out there, delightful.

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John Meacham, I can't thank you enough for this therapy session, for everything that you brought in there, John Meacham. And there was light. You've got to read a wonderful biography of Lincoln. John, thanks for joining us. Thank you, John. Man, first of all, uh, welcome back guys. Uh, Jillian, Lauren, Brittany, uh, I hope you guys all had a well-deserved break and you enjoyed yourselves, but, uh,

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You know, Meacham comforts me. He's like, he's my Campbell soup. Like there's something about the breadth of knowledge, the made up names, Bennett McNichol, Clare Booth Lewis. Come on, man. None of that shit is real.

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He just talks that way.

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Right. He was going to tie it around. Although if I'm the McNichol family- Oh, yes. And you do wonder, like, as president, if Bennett McNichol, he just would sit there just stewing in his, you'd never, you know, I wonder if Bennett McNichol was just like, you didn't pull me out of that bed. I got myself out of that barrel. You bastard.

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But everything, it's so funny when you realize this country was so steeped in all the iconography of its ruling class of Protestants and Episcopalians. And like, As Carlin would say, it's a big club and you ate in it like it was a country club. And that's the default setting that we all sort of work off of. And deviating from that, there is like a strange discomfort in that.

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Because he feels like a molder, if you could call him that. But what's the mirror? What is your sense of what this moment is saying about us?

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And it's funny when he talks about it. We're 60 years old. And I'm like, wait, I'm 62. I'm older than I'm older than America. That doesn't seem right. But.

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Yeah, it really does. Boy, that's slightly...

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Slightly sobering, slightly damning. You're just like, oh, yeah. All right.

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I do think in the next election, I would not be surprised if the Democrats ran Bennett McNichol. I do believe- They're going to pull him out of that barrel and put him on the ticket.

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Right. What I love about that story too is like where they were going. It was before he went to Andover. He was at the Greenwich Country Day School and then he went to Andover where he was the most glamorous boy at Andover. And you're like, I think I remember this as a Studs Terkel novel. Yeah. Phenomenal. But happy to be back. It is going to be an interesting ride.

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I am glad that he in some ways tempered my melancholy and pessimism and reminded me like, all right, all right, all right. We don't know what's going to happen. We've been here before. Now it's time to move forward. How are our viewers? Are they listeners, viewers on podcasts? I don't even know.

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What do they got for us? Hopefully they've had a nice break as well.

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Yeah, let me hear it.

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Well, not to get too lost in the metaphor, but that's what I do, so we might as well. To mold... you have to amass power. And in that way, you tend to mirror, right?

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Very bad. You know what I love about all those? It's always like, I've been a fan of yours my whole life. I love everything you do, but you've really made a turn. And I'm like, you haven't watched a minute of me.

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Because I'm the same dumb asshole I have been since the start, unfortunately. Yeah, what's the other? Is it all along that sort of- There's a theme. Yeah, the theme is always like, you were great until now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

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Yeah, I mean, I'm used to it. So it tickles me.

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But always, by the way, again, there's been no growth. It's just, it's not new. All right, go ahead.

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Oh, wow. Okay. You know, I'm still somewhat baffled by that idea that actually Biden, like even those closest to him now sheepishly acknowledge that

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what they should have acknowledged a year and a half ago and god bless them if they think oh in this kind of revisionist mindset that actually you know oh actually his vigor and and acuity are as good as they've always been and he would have translate i just think that's

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uh sadly divorced from the reality and i take no pleasure in that i take no pleasure in saying it he felt to me i'll put this in comedic terms when a comedian comes on and the audience is worried about that comedian as they perform that's the death of of their performance that's how i felt about unfortunately the president and and i don't know how you guys felt

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Yeah, right. I mean, in terms of it, it's tough. I mean, the debate was the kind of the apex of it. But I think prior to that, I mean, there was – and I think also you have to remember the bully pulpit requires vigorous pushback, especially in this modern media environment.

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And if you have to be, if your emotional and intellectual reserves have to be managed and, you know, in some ways meted out, you know, in just a certain amount of, you know, rationing, I'm sorry, that's, you won't be able to do it. And Trump's, unfortunately, his resources for that were endless. But I completely, the arrogant asshole part, yeah.

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So President Trump, and I just wanna say something, I'm gonna call him President Trump because one of the things that drove me crazy in the last 48 months was this snarky tone on the right, which was, there was this creature who was in power called Biden.

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Terrible, terrible, terrible. Well, that's great. That's the kind of shit, you know, look, it's important for us to hear it all out and kind of

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think about because there is you know it's funny in all the kind of waterfall of of criticism and attacks that come generally there will be something somewhat constructive in some of it and even though it's kind of a drag to sift through all of it you know it is in some ways you are panning for gold in a you know river a torrent of you know kind of shitty criticism but but but

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Sadly, you'll probably find a nugget or two where you're like, yeah, I should do I should get better at that.

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Yeah. And Brittany, we should have let's think about some of those suggestions for topics and people, because, look, it's going to be hard to turn our attention off the fire hose for these first, you know. but there is a whole world out there. And speaking of which, by the way, you know, we talked about California earlier. I just want to

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quickly again, for anybody out there who is considering, the California Fire Foundation is phenomenal. So it's cafirefoundation.org if anybody is interested. And I'm certainly, it's not a secret of all those organizations. So that's just, that happens to be one. But we all obviously, not to get colloquial, but we all have very good friends and family out there that are really

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Wonderful. And as always, thank you again, lead producer, Lauren Walker, producer, Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer, Rob Vitolo, with his baby who is now, how old is the baby now, Rob, 11?

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Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce, researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear, executive producer, Christopher Shannon, executive producer, Katie Gray, who I must say, also just had a beautiful day. Little Nora, so sweet. And we wish Katie and her husband, Chris, just the absolute best. They're just the sweetest, most wonderful people.

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So they didn't call him President Biden. They just said Biden.

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So excited for them as they go along on this journey. And that's that, man. We will see you guys next week. Thanks again. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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I swear to God, you watch Fox all day long and it's just... President Trump is a mirror of, I think, our most basic instincts. I think that he has deepened and exacerbated many of our worst characteristics. And... One of the arguments that we have, and I have this with people who are in power at the moment and will be for at least 48 more hours, is people will say, this isn't who we are.

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Well, of course it's who we are. We've lived out of compliance with the Declaration of Independence far more often than we've lived in compliance with it. That's not to say, oh, therefore, it's all going to work out or let's not do anything about that.

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Unpack that, though, a little bit, because you that's such an interesting thought, because I unpack in terms of living outside the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution. I've always sort of had that sense. You know, you have this founding document that says all men are created equal. And within the same document, some men are considered three fifths of a human.

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Yeah. Different document, but yeah.

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Is that the compliance? Right, different document. But is that the compliance you're talking about?

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Yeah, yeah. I mean, so we began the national experiment voluntarily by saying that we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal. Didn't have to do that. But Jefferson, on one of the great committees of all time, Jefferson, Franklin, Sherman, Livingston, and Adams, I would assign them anything to do.

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Must have been a great deck, you know, when Franklin ran through the deck. A white guy, a flawed 33-year-old white guy, slave owner, articulated an ideal of human liberty unique in that time and place for someone with power to articulate that. So that's, you know, people who look like me did, you know, sort of set the standard.

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And then, as you say, we immediately, 30 seconds later, fell short of it. Right. So 1776 to 1865. We allowed human enslavement. So out of compliance, seems to me. We had a brief period after the Civil War where white folks who looked like me down here in the South could not vote because a lot of folks wouldn't take an oath back into the United States. Black folks could vote very briefly.

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And then there's a white reaction, white supremacist reaction in the 1870s. So let's just say for 10 years we were in compliance. Okay, so it's, right? We got 10. Seriously, think about it. No, you're dead on. Then we go back out of it. Right. From really the 1876 election, which pulled federal troops out of the South. It's a price of Hayes beating Tilden.

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And then we really roll until 1965, where separate accommodations, incredible obstacles to franchise. And so basically, and there's a frequent argument about this, I believe it, we'll be celebrating the 250th anniversary in a couple of years. I think we're 60 years old. I think we were founded in 1965.

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And in many ways, to bring this to exactly to where we are, President Trump is in many ways a reaction to the implications of what unfolded in the country in 1964 and 65.

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In terms of the Voting Rights Act, are you talking also about immigration at that time?

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Yeah, in terms of becoming a genuine, well, both, becoming a genuine multi-ethnic, multiracial democracy. And you're right, it was the Civil Rights Act, it was the Voting Rights Act, and it was the Immigration and Nationality Act. In 1965.

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Which changed the demographic of the country. It moved sort of immigration from that more Western European model to something that was browner. Right.

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And for those who think that, oh, boy, if only it could be like it was in the old days, what the 1965 Act did was repealed the restrictive 1924 Act, which, as you say, established these national quotas that emphasized Northern Europe. And that's what was in place when the Roosevelt administration chose to follow the letter of the law and not allow more refugees in from Nazi Germany.

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Well, hello, everybody. How have you been? It's Jon Stewart. It's the Weekly Show pod. We are back after a three-year absence, or what it feels like, a three-year absence, in that, boy, an awful lot of ups and downs and living has been put into those three years. This is being taped midweek of before the inauguration, which will take place, I believe, I believe,

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Right, right.

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So, you know, look, this is who we are, right? I have argued for a long time, you and I have had this argument, that The remarkable thing about the country is that we get as much right as we do. And that's a really easy thing for me to say. You know, I'm a boringly heterosexual white Southern male Episcopalian, right?

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Is that your Tinder profile? It is, it is. Is that what's on there?

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Boring heterosexual white? White Southern male Episcopalian. All right. You know, and we had a hell of a run. Yeah, I'm intrigued. Yeah, we had about 10,000 years. And there are a lot of folks who are thinking, wait a minute, we're not going to be in charge. And this is a reaction to that.

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Or it's a loss of absolute power. It's sort of this idea that that would be the default setting of the country. And that is the, quote unquote, meritocracy. And that anything that deviates from that. And so what does it say then? Because I think this brings it back to your interesting point, which is, and we have chosen a kind of retreat from that. You know, 2016 was...

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Kind of felt like an anomaly. The popular vote was lost. It was his prize. This feels it's not, you know, Reagan winning 49 states, but it's a much stronger argument to a broader coalition and a choice that the country. The country made a choice. Made a choice. And I'm wondering, does it reflect and maybe this is a broader point.

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for America in general, but does it reflect, it's a democratic repudiation in some respects of democracy, if that contradiction can make sense. Donald Trump clearly has run in a manner that says, I want to accrue more power in the executive than maybe the founders and the constitution are comfortable with.

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I want the Supreme Court to grant me immunities that seem utterly at odds with so many of the other checks and balances that go along there. And it is a democratic approval in some ways of kind of an anti or less democratic movement. Does that make sense?

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The one edit I would make is it's a populist retreat from democracy.

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Why do you say things better than I do?

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I'm sorry. I know. I know.

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I really don't care for that.

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I know. I know. And you are Edward R. Murrow. You should be a writer. If Edward R. Murrow and Johnny Carson had a baby, it's you. Are they allowed to do that now?

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Probably not. They are now. They wouldn't have been allowed to do that a few years ago, but they're allowed to do it now. So does that put us at more risk then as this goes along? Okay.

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Yes, it does. It does. And I'm not trying to be alarmist, right?

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No, no, no.

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I understand. I thought Trump was a difference of degree, but not kind. You talked about 16-year-olds. Until 2020. And really the aftermath of the election. I mean, the stuff he did was reprehensible. It was a corrosion of the presidency as an institution that I revere. I found myself with my children trying to explain why their father died.

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spends his time recording the history of something that seems so flawed and um oh wow you you even thought of it in in a manner of i've spent my life kind of revering yes the history of this system and to watch it uh be so casually uh discarded made you question the things that that you were doing why record something uh that is now this i don't know tenuous

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Yes. And that part, the answer to that part should be, well, and in fact, that is the answer I have, which is the fact that it is tenuous and contingent. means we have to tell the stories of moments of both peril and possibility because this is what we've got. And so I didn't question the efficacy of the work, if that makes sense. Yeah. But it was an emotional sadness.

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Although everything seems to be – for some reason, everything with this transfer of power seems to be going very smoothly. I had posited earlier, it is amazing how the peaceful transfer of power can occur when you don't act like a little bitch when you lose. So that is occurring. As of this recording, there is still some Los Angeles left.

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And here's just a quick story about it. So on Ash Wednesday, 2021, I'm sure you remember where you were. You know me. I'm the one who's, I got it.

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I'm the guy with the pots with the ashes. Just go do whatever you want. Somebody's got to gather them.

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burning the palms that's right but i remember because i was going up to what i was at a meeting in washington and i had my daughter my who was then 16 17 okay wanted to go up uh and i had the we had the opportunity to run see someone whose office was in the capitol and

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Just go ahead and say the president.

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Just say the president. Well, no, I was going to say the president. No, I was saying the president later. But that day, it was the Capitol itself. All right, fair enough. But I had some time and so went up to see a lawmaker. And I hadn't realized, this is February 2021, the amount of fencing and the number of National Guardsmen around the Capitol.

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Transparency, it's the only thing you can do.

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Right. The Speaker of the House today. This was a great one today. The Speaker of the House, I don't know if you saw this, Mike Johnson. So they asked him about these gifts that are coming, to your point, Eric, of the unprecedented nature. And he said... this is nothing like what the Biden crime family did. Trump is transparent. And the reporter said, we don't know who these meme coin people are.

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We don't have any information on that. They're just putting money directly in. And he goes, I don't know anything about that. And the reporter goes, Isn't Congress the oversight body? And he just goes, ah, we're good. Susan, talk about how that's changed. You were talking about since you've been there, you've seen the erosion of these barriers. How are you seeing that play out?

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Because it's definitely not just this administration.

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Didn't Spiro Agnew-

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That's right. I believe B.B. Rebozo had a slush fund and they were all –

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I expect big things to come out of these meetings because this is the type of deal making that he prefers to He doesn't want to talk about, he sits, you saw today, he sits, I was sitting with Mohammed bin Salman. He's like, you should really take all the, you know, everything away from Syria, the sanctions and everything. He's like, you make a very convincing case. I'll just go do it.

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I agree wholeheartedly. And Eric, I'll get to you on this, because to that point, Susan, what I would say is right now, the only check on any sort of corruption is partisanship, is ideological opposition. The Republicans were very clear about going after the Joe Biden crime family. They wanted to impeach on that. But even impeachment, I think, has shown itself to be a feckless check.

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on whatever corruption. The situation in Ukraine in terms of weapons shipments for investigations into a political opponent is as clear cut as you can possibly be, let alone the January 6th insurrection as clear cut an impeachment as it can be. And it failed basically because at its heart, it's a political process. And if the political process is broken, but I'll go further than that.

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Like he could come back. You don't even know what he's going to come back. He could come back and just be like, Palestine's a state, actually Israel, you're out. And now he's got the South African refugees are allowed in because that's a genocide. You know, look,

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You know, Eric, I once asked Nancy Pelosi, she was on the show. She was talking about, we got to get money out of politics. It corrupts people. And I said, well, you know, you raised $32 million for your PAC. And she said, that's different. And I said, well, why is that different? And she said, because it doesn't corrupt us. I said, well, you just said money corrupts. Yes, them.

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But what about you? No. And even with Ed Martin, when he took over for the DNC, what did he say? We need these billionaires out. They're billionaires, not our billionaires. Our billionaires are good. Their billionaires are bad. So the system, I fear, has surrendered. We've already surrendered. Now it's just a question of how bad is this going to get, Eric?

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children in gaza apparently that should get visas right away if that's going to be the rule i mean you don't know what's going to happen because there is no larger governing principle other than i like these guys i dig these guys they treat me well i'll treat them well handshake you scratch my back all it's it's pure transactional wildness And I think he prefers it.

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Oh my God.

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But isn't he just exploiting... Don't we owe him to some extent a debt of gratitude? Is he not making explicit what is the operating system? Oftentimes we like to pretend it's not of the world, which is a pay to play system where the rich and the powerful have an unusual backscratching relationship and access to each other. I'll give you an example. So here's the small bore example of that.

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Susan, you can talk to this. congressional members serve on committees that regulate pharmaceuticals, other types of things. They can also trade stocks.

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And there are numerous examples of congressional leaders being in meetings where they learn information about what is going to happen to a certain product that is going to have profound impact on stocks and then making trades that play upon that information. And nothing ever happens to them. And how is that different other than the scale?

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Isn't he just supersizing the corruption that we have allowed?

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I say scale and scope, but is it different in character?

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Is it different in, is insider trading amongst congressional people really different in character?

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We're back.

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And it's the level of the corruption, because this is how those countries operate to begin with, that they have sovereign funds. They, hey, you know what we should do? Buy some golfers. How much do you think it would cost for a Mickelson? Ah, $200 million. Like Trump is Shopify for nations. It's just, all this stuff's coming up on my feed. I guess they really know what I like.

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Everybody's in on it. Everybody says it's great. So I'm going to do it.

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Yeah. No, you're dead on right. But you brought up a really interesting point, Susan, which is you kind of reflected it back to imagine if Andrew Carnegie or any of these guys was also president. So there is a really unique situation here, you know, to Mike Johnson's point, which is, well, the Biden crime family, they're not business people. Trump is a business person.

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So why shouldn't he, rather than corruption, isn't he just monetizing his brand? Isn't that how he would view it? How is that different from the Biden family, which is, What, consultants and lawyers? I don't know.

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By the way, the crab was fantastic.

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The Saudis gave $2 billion to Jared Kushner to invest, didn't they?

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Let me just press this button. Hey, look at that. I just bought a golf course in Doha. Boy, I swear to God, he is a Greek mythological figure and not in the good way, in the Icarus way, in the King Midas. Oh my God, everything I want to touch should turn to gold. Oh no, my balls. So we're going to talk a little bit about these systems now and how we are operating as a country.

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Oh, dear Lord.

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What you just said there, I thought, was really the crucial point, which is undermining the stability. For those of us, and this This part, I think it's important to get into because all these ideas of, well, they're going to benefit from this and they're going to benefit from that. It's all sort of amorphous, right? So let's get into what can be the real ramifications of this.

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Those systems that don't have the institutional checks undergirding their financial situation or any of those other things are less stable. The governments that function in this way, much more autocratically, much more, you know, the kleptocracies, all those other things, hollow out the civil institutions that hold countries together in difficult times.

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It's why you see those countries and systems collapse violently. Is that... When we talk about the ramifications of this and we really want to get into what are we risking, is that something that comes to mind?

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That's bold.

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Right.

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with two experts on the topic, and we'll get to them right now. So corruption, conflict of interest, this is all the name of the game that we are talking, and we're delighted to have our guest today, Susan Glasser, staff writer at The New Yorker, co-author of The Divider, Trump in the White House, 2017, 2021.

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No, I think changing it into a transaction, and I'll go further, Eric, maybe one of the reasons why Trump has a bigger problem now with Canada and with the EU is that they still operate through this system of democratic checks and balances. It's a bit more bureaucratic. It is not one man, one man sitting in a room, shaking a hand, going, I'll give you a jet and you'll give me this.

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It's not as transactional because it goes through the processes that are created by constitutional stability. But if you remove that, You really are knocking away. You're hollowing something out that has worked for us for a very long time. Yes.

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No, he said, basically, you can if you can't bribe foreign leaders, you are going to put American businesses at a disadvantage. So we have to be able to bribe. I guess the question is, is he just saying, well, I'm going to operate in the world as it is. not in the world as we would like it to be.

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And not just exploding, suggesting that creating that norm made us suckers and that we are the big losers of the international order that we created.

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I'm assuming there will be a sequel because I don't know if you guys have heard, he's back. And Eric Lipton, who is an investigative reporter in the Washington Bureau of the New York Times and has wrote about these issues. Susan and Eric, thank you so much for taking the time today. Eric, I'm going to start with you because you're in mid kerfuffle right now. You are kerfuffling as we speak.

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And even the spreading of it caused instability. I mean, you mentioned the past 20 years of war to spread this stable system that completely destabilized entire regions.

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I mean, I think he goes by the great man theory, the, you know, like you say, the Vanderbilts, the Carnegies, the great men that created something that wasn't stable, though, and it collapsed in the Great Depression, and we rebuilt something that had more stability. And I think we're undervaluing

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all those different institutions and checks and balances, as flawed as they may be, for holding the world somewhat together financially, at least over this time. Would that be fair?

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His comfort in this trip to Saudi Arabia, Qatar, you know, UAE, is obvious. His comfort in... a system of royalty, he looks so much happier there than he ever does here. You know, the only moment that I saw that felt like the Donald Trump that we see in the United States was I think somebody from ABC News asked him about the plane and he went, that's an embarrassing question.

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But mostly, man, he's in his happy place. Monarchy, I think, is his happy place. I think, in some respects, is America, this constitutional republic that has survived 250 years and built itself up over myriad difficulties and all these, the tumult of world wars and everything else, are we now just a subsidiary of the Trump Organization?

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You've been writing about these conflicts of interest and corruption. Can you explain to us very briefly why? What happened to Ignite Blue Sky, which turned into Red Sky when they got a hold of this? Eric, what happened?

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Right. He said, I'm not a lawyer. I mean, they were talking specifically, I think, about due process for these immigration cases. And he said, I'm not a lawyer. I think what he's shrewder than that. I think what he is doing is doctor shopping lawyers.

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If a lawyer says, well, this is the Constitution, he goes, get rid of that lawyer and get me a lawyer who will come in here and tell me you don't have to do due process.

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She was making inappropriate books available to children. And you're like, you can't just, that's not what's happening at the Library of Congress.

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All right, quick break, and then we shall be right back.

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We're back.

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Well, he says always, are we so good? Are we so nice? Right. And in some respects, you know, look, we have oftentimes, as you said, failed to live up to those higher ideals. But I think this goes beyond the types of higher ideals of personal freedoms and treating, you know, with equality and respect. This is a whole...

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other thing that you know you can back off of personal criticism we do business with terrible regimes all the time and and and they do business with us but this is very different in that we're throwing away the system for the writ of one man That's the part that, and Eric, I'll ask you, once you throw that away, do you know of a situation where people have been able to get it back?

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Once you go to a transactional strongman theory of he makes the decisions, I don't know how you claw that back.

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Well, some of that, I think, is because, you know, the competing vision that they're up against. First of all, it's amazing how crazy shit has to get for even a couple of Republicans to go, yeah, I might have to look into that. Like, it's bananas to me how far it goes. And it just shows how fearful they are for their own political lives over that.

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You've seen people excommunicated just for speaking out against that. But... The other side of it is, you know, the corruption of it just gets embedded into it and with no powerful alternative. I mean, for God's sakes, on the Democratic side, you've got Chuck Schumer going, I'm going to send a strongly worded letter with eight pretty hard questions and you'll see.

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Now, maybe it's because we're in an unusual situation of they control the Senate, they control the House, they control the executive, they mostly control the Supreme Court. Maybe if that shifts, some of this begins to get adjudicated in a different way. Do you think, Susan?

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I think this is his happy place, that being with kings, having just a lot of camels. I would not be surprised if when the president comes back from the Middle East, he ditches pantaloons. I believe he may think, you know what? These guys have it. The free-flowing robe. Let the boys breathe. Let me have it. Because I think the accoutrement of monarchy truly suits him. He seems happier.

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But don't you think they would regain their oversight immediately if a Democratic president was there? In other words, will this just be, it's sort of in the way they look at the debt ceiling. Like if it's a Republican, oh yeah, no, we're going to lift the debt ceiling and everybody's going to do it. And then a Democrat comes into office and say, aren't we going to be responsible here?

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Let's do that. Is there a chance that we once again become a rules-based responsible country, as long as a Democrat's in charge of it, that this is a Trump phenomenon, not a permanent change in autocratic rule?

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Do you see that, Eric, in any way being a corrective once the cult of Trump is gone?

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I see. People were upset that you were not being definitive enough about calling it corruption. corruption because you were using the more legal definition which has been watered down, I guess, by the Supreme Court. Is that sort of where all this is coming from?

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Which by the way, may continue until we don't even know when it's going to end. Right. And by the way, the more power that the family amasses, look, dynastic families in American politics are not abnormal. And the more power and influence that they amass, the more likely a dynastic influence emerges through there. I don't think that's any question. I think this is going to be with us

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depending for a very, very long time. And I will end with this. The fear for me is always the stability of these societies demands the consent of the governed. And if you don't have it, things like martial law get declared or they pull all kinds of emergency powers and crack down on certain things. And it creates the volatile political cycles that you see in countries where

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that don't have the fealty, not to a man, but to a constitution. And that's my fear for the cycle that we're heading into. I'm looking 70 years down the line, not just five. Would you guys comment on that?

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Last word, Susan. You got this. Sum it up. Bring us home, Susan.

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That's the bumper sticker you never see at the rest area on the Jersey Turnpike. Thank you both very much, man. Very enlightening conversation. Very much appreciated. Susan Glasser, staff writer at The New Yorker and co-author of The Divider, Trump and the White House, 2017-2021. And Eric Lipton, who is an investigative reporter in the Washington Bureau of The New York Times.

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Thank you both so much for enlightening us during this time. Well, I didn't want it to end so dark. I didn't want it to end with, we are entering an 80-year era of darkness and despair by which the rule of law shall be punished.

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I don't know. I thought maybe they had some key to this. I kept trying to throw in there, like, what about when the Congress changes it? Hey, didn't we, what about insider trading? They're like, you don't understand, motherfucker.

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You don't get the, is that what you guys were thinking?

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Hey, listen, man.

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Listen, man. Yeah. They're not, listen, that's not, that's not where they're taking the chainsaw. That's for sure. And, uh, you know, listen, you guys know when you fly East much harder on the jet lag.

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And, and listen, I loved Susan's sort of the scope of her knowledge I thought was really interesting.

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That's a great point.

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Right. You got to go full. Gold bars. I have gold bars sewn into my jacket. Yes. And I am going to be now giving Egypt a better deal because of that.

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That's a fabulous point. And I also think anytime you get in on the idea that corruption is purely defined in the legal arena, you'll lose sight of what real corruption is. It's just corruption to me is the erosion of those things that hold something up with integrity.

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And the minute you erode that, whether it's the legal definition of it or not, it is certainly corrupting of the tent posts that we kind of relied on.

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Oh, we're getting the quids, but I don't know about the quo.

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Yeah. And also the idea like, so Cutter, they're going to give him a $400 million jet just because. Okay.

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Yeah. They're cool like that.

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Bars?

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And by the way, gifts are corrupt. Like, why do you think grandparents lavish grandkids? That's not like, oh, I gave you a toy plane because I am buying your love.

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You're not allowed access to the communications now, the Supreme Court. has made it so you don't have it. You can't have access to the communications. You can't prove anything if the president is involved.

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Look at how long it takes to investigate. Like even just Hunter Biden, the dude had like a laptop with images of him like naked holding a gun. And like that was a three-year investigation. Like imagine if you can't get access to anything.

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Oh, yeah. True social. No.

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Get him back on the line. I want to have some more. Now I feel terrible. I've missed all these things.

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What about the listeners? What do they want to know this week?

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All right. What do we got?

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I don't know anymore because the system requires... I don't fucking know. It's a great like I remember in the old days, like if the president can get a blowjob from an intern, what's keeping the earth on its axis? Like we're so far beyond. I think that's really where you get down to. Is he exploiting the system that we've all been operating in?

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but with rose colored glasses on and didn't recognize like, yeah, money talks, bullshit walks. And that's kind of how it is. And this dude's just ripped the bandaid off and said, look at yourselves. Like he's forcing us to view how this whole thing really works. Rules of a suckers. That's what I'm saying, kid. And what's the other one?

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Wait, I can only choose one? That's correct. No, but that's, no, you can't.

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Hypothesis question. It's like if butts are candy and nuts every day would be Christmas. Like, no, it doesn't work that way. I refuse to answer your hypothetical question.

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on there it's like saying like uh you know if we'd never advanced uh you know physics well then there wouldn't have been an atomic bomb like you just can't work that way what i would choose to advance is humanity's understanding of not having to do everything that they can do

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that you don't always have to be in the meeting and go, hey, should we reanimate the virus from 1919 that wiped out all those people? And like somebody in the office should be like, I don't know about reanimate, is there something else we, is there some way we could learn about it without unleashing it again? Is that something we could do? No, progress requires providence and caution.

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so you have to advance it because it's gonna anyway there's an inevitability to it but you also have to advance our ability to understand how to mitigate uh it's like you know we've all talked about global warming like this all the time i'm like look I don't care how many cop conferences they do. I don't care how many times you tell people, what if you just got a smaller car?

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Somehow we're going to have to figure out a way to mitigate. Somebody's going to have to clean this shit up if they're relying on humans to stop being humans. And I feel the same way about AI and everything else. This is the darkest episode we've And on that note, but it's like saying like the wheel, would you go forward with it?

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And you're like, yes, but that means that there will be, you know, trucks that have missiles on the back of them. Like, yeah, every it's yin and yang, baby light and dark. We got to manage it. Got to manage the shadows.

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How are the ways that they get a hold of us?

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Thank you once again, guys. Fabulous. And thank you for the conversation after that. I thought that was very, very thoughtful of you guys. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitolo. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear. And our executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Gray.

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Come on, people. Stand. Stand in the light. Oh, fuck. All right. We'll see you guys next time. Bye-bye. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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They're doing quite well.

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There's no freezer big enough to put what they're getting into there.

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No.

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Yes. In his defense, it is a very nice plane apparently. two bedrooms, nine bathrooms. It is, if this were being rented on the Upper West Side, I think people would throw down quite a bit for it. But let's talk about, so I find this to be a fascinating discussion because in the United States, there's sort of this idea, this fiction, I think, in the same with separation of church and state.

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There is this wall, the separation of governance and business, but that separation with Trump does not exist. But Let's roll back further than Pam Bondi and, you know, whatever the DOJ might be saying about this jet. And let's talk about what has set the ground for this, which I think is Citizens United, A, right? All those campaign financing.

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B, when the Supreme Court said it has to be an explicit, right? Quid pro quo, was that that case?

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For the former governor of Virginia?

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And then- The third leg of this chair is the decision that the president is immune from any of these kinds of corruption investigations, as long as he is acting within the bounds of his presidential duties. Given those three tent posts, is there a world where even explicit quid pro quo can be investigated when it comes to the activities of the president.

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Haven't we disarmed our entire ethics infrastructure through the Supreme Court? I'm not even talking about he's doing unprecedented things. Eric, I'll start with you.

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Maybe when he's done being president, if I should qualify, if he's done being president. that is where he will end up in the way that like certain, like the Shah of Iran ends up sort of an exile somewhere else. He may end up there because I think that's how he views the world. I just want, who's in charge here. That dude, the dude with the robe, who's got the giant sword, he's in charge.

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And how would you gather evidence if you're not allowed to get his, everything's under executive privilege?

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Well, isn't it even the emoluments clause? Isn't that, you know, doesn't that in and of itself justify not being able to take a giant plane.

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Hello, everybody. Welcome to the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. It is Wednesday, May 14th. The president is in the middle of his tour of kings, his king of kings tour, kings of comedy tour, kings of corruption tour. He is on his way. I have to say, I don't know that I've ever seen the president so happy and comfortable.

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Let that be a lesson, by the way, to the kids out there. Never take an emolument. If any of your classmates, if anybody offers you an emolument, tell them constitutionally. All right, quick break, and then we shall be right back. Guys, I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but getting through the news is, well, what's the word I'm looking for? It sucks. Terrible.

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It's really hard to figure out. But I got to tell you about Ground News, website and app dedicated to helping readers navigate today's headlines with, and these words, I don't know if you, with critical thinking. Media literacy, getting through the headlines with critical thinking. Think of it. Ground News pulls together thousands of news stories from around the world every day.

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Each story organized with, you know, very clear visual breakdowns of what the political bias, the ownership, the reporting differences. It helps you better understand not just the story, what you're reading, but why you're seeing it presented in the way that it is. And it's built around transparency. Ground News doesn't run ads, doesn't run ads. Podcasts don't even do that. What are they thinking?

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They don't use algorithms to customize your news feed. How dare they not try and manipulate you? Their bias ratings come from the averages of three different independent organizations, and it gives you a more balanced and comprehensive view. When you're using Ground News, you can see how many outlets have covered a story, how the coverage is distributed across political spectrums.

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You can scroll through the headlines with the bias labels attached. You don't even have to leave the app. I know you don't want to leave the app, and you don't have to. You can even directly compare how different outlets report the same story. The Blind Spot feed highlights stories that are being underreported by either side of the political spectrum, any side. It gives you a broader, fuller view.

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All you got to do to explore everything Ground News offers, groundnews.com slash Stuart. Subscribers get 40% off the Vantage plan, unlocking all the features. That's groundnews.com slash steward.

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When you subscribe, you are supporting an independent platform committed to making news more transparent and empowering readers to make informed decisions, which, oh, those are the best kinds of decisions. Hey everyone, Jon Stewart here. Do you guys get hungry? I know I do. And when I get hungry, I love to have a sandwich. Sandwiches. I don't know if you've had them.

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Let's make a deal with him. It's why he, he fucking hates Canada and the EU. Now it's like, what do I have to do? Well, We have a Congress. We have to check with them. And then the parliament's going to vote on it. He's like, ah, just give me the plane and I will give you these weapons. And that's how shit's going to go down. I'll be honest with you.

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I've talked to people and they're like macaroni and cheese. Yes, fine. You can eat that too in a bowl, but a bowl is not how certainly lunch should occur. So for me, the sandwich is the perfect choice. You can take a variety of different breads and a variety of different ingredients and combine them. I'm telling you, the options are limitless.

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So the next time you find yourselves hungry, try a sandwich. They're delicious.

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Hey, folks, I just want to let you know your prayers have been answered. You remember, everybody's in L.A. I actually was lucky enough to participate in it. It's back. Everybody's live with John Mulaney. Coming to Netflix again. Mulaney, who's just so funny. And tall, that's the part I don't really care for, the tall part, but so funny.

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Stop explaining things, news person.

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All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back. And we're back. Okay. So what do you think are the important things? You know, I have my own opinion about what I would like to understand.

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What are the important things if you're the news? Like, here's what I would like to see focused on.

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What are the mechanics of this audit? How is this audit being conducted? It seems awfully quick. I've never heard of an audit that goes in and two days later and like, this is a criminal operation. Like they've uncovered a cartel. It's very easy to go in and pick a program. You know, they'll say they're spending $15 million a year on condoms for the Taliban.

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And you're like, I'm pretty sure the Taliban don't fuck that much. Like, I just can't. That's one way to look at it, but probably true. Right. Yeah. So what they've done is they've taken the mantle of efficiency, right, which I think a lot of people feel like is long overdue in government, uncovering waste and fraud and abuse. But it seems like it's a Trojan horse for an ideological –

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So I would love to know what the mechanics of this are. And I haven't seen much of it.

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Mm-hmm. Do you think this is a punishment that the voters in the country, because right now it's still broadly popular.

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and shit the bed a bit. And when I say we, I don't mean we, I mean they, but I'm a fan. So I'm going to throw myself into the mix. We won three games. Decisions that we made were terrible, but there was one decision in particular, which was the letting go of a running back by the name of Saquon Barkley.

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In some ways, is it a punishment on what they think was the Democrats, Republicans, inability to effectively improve their everyday lives. And what I'm interested in is a triage for the Democrats of seeing that there's an understanding of how they ended up in this position. And I don't see that yet. And I don't know if your experience is different.

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Do you think the Democratic Party is principled?

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Here's where we're getting into it. So – I think other people would say that's a veneer and that what Donald Trump is doing is exposing. He's actually explicitly exposing the dark heart of how the world actually works. You know, sort of that idea of, hey, man. It's corrupt, and I know how to run a corrupt system of quid pro quo.

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And Saquon Barkley is a unbelievable, not just talent athletically, but as a human being to really the kind of, undefinable aspects of his personality that make him an incredible teammate and an incredible leader. And the Giants were recorded over the summer saying, yeah, we're not going to pay that guy. Why would we pay that guy?

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I mean, look, this is the final boss battle in some ways of Citizens United, where they're basically saying money talks, bullshit walks, and that's how things are done. I mean, they're making it so that United States companies can't get in trouble for bribing foreign leaders.

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When he said that he was draining the swamp, right, I understood that as, or I understand that phrase as, we are going to crack down on corruption. I think what he's saying is that's not how the world works, so I am going to exploit corruption because we're the biggest bullies on the planet And it's time that we swing our thang and make that happen and say things like, hey, Canada.

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I mean, why are you going to – Why Canada? But is that – is he basically exposing how the world and how business actually works?

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You just used, but- I apologize for that.

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It was a Teddy Roosevelt- It was in the riff. Big stick thing, and I fucked it all up.

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All right.

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But does it work that way, Jen?

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Really?

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but that party was ineffective to a large, that's what I'm saying. The world doesn't work that way. Like when we say, you know, we're promoting democracy and goodness throughout the world, and yet we bombed the shit out of two countries for 20 years, create untold instability in a region because of our own interests.

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You know, what he's saying is, I don't want to give money to Ukraine unless they're going to give us rare materials, rare earth materials, according to that value.

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No, I think he said it literally.

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No question there. No question there.

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The most talented running back and human ever maybe to have graced this locker room. No, he's out. And the owner of the Giants said, well, as long as he doesn't go to the Eagles. Well, guess what? He went to the Eagles. It was the personnel decision equivalent of the butt fumble, which is the famous New York Jets, Mark Sanchez running into the ass of his own offensive lineman and losing a fumble.

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Right. It's old school. It's old school patronage. Yes. It's what civil service was, the swamp was created to remove that aspect of patronage. But I wonder sometimes how far have we really come from the model? And this is not about the administrative state. This is like, how far have we come from the model of searching the globe for cheaper materials and cheaper labor?

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And when we pretend that we're doing it for moral value and freedom, are we kidding ourselves?

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I mean, mostly.

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Look at the difference between the defense budget and the State Department budget. What's the defense budget? Eight hundred and fifty billion dollars. What's the State Department?

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Fifty?

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But making it a better place means, look, capitalism is a system that, you know, is a profit driven system and it rewards growth and profit. and distribution of capital. And it seeks its lowest mark. It's why when we talk about globalization destroying the inner manufacturing nature of our country, we also have that race to the bottom in the United States.

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Mexico is to America as South Carolina is to New York. They're always competing for that lower thing. So I think you can't separate when presidents say, I want to make it better. You can't separate it from the system that we operate that makes it better. Does that make sense?

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Or is it just a more explicit expression of that?

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But don't you think we're talking about two separate things? Those are two separate things.

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One has set the environment up for the other. The weakness of our government to be responsive in those ways to the lives of the people has set up that idea of globalization and retraining people instead of giving them the idea that Walmart can pay its people to the point where they have to go on food assistance.

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The systems that we've set up that we're defending, that our status quo, we subsidize pharmaceutical companies, we subsidize oil companies, yet we pay the highest drug prices. All those things have added up to this, no? The systems that we've created, were Democrats not urgent enough in the alarm bells going off about the corruption within our so-called status quo system?

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And the reason I bring it up is, boy... to the giants feel like the Democratic Party in that the personnel decisions that they're, everything that they are doing could not work out more humiliatingly And continues to do so. And I don't know what kind of a draft pick the Democrats are going to get this year. I don't even know if there's a draft lottery in politics or any of those kinds of things.

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Totally understand. You're exactly right. You know, what did Kennedy say? If you make peaceful evolution, you know, impossible, you make revolution inevitable.

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We're going to take a quick break. We shall be right back. We are back. Okay. My point is, and I'll, Perfectly frank. I am probably I lean towards the Bernie and Elizabeth Warren and, you know, all those sites economically. I've been shocked by how undemocratic the Democratic Party can be.

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By putting their foot on the scales to make sure that Hillary Clinton comes out of the thing or make sure that, you know, that they're that they're listening to that anger about the way that even the ACA, quite frankly. struck me as a very conservative.

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Correct. That it didn't address the very thing that was causing the foundational upset. If I were to break this down narratively, what I think the Democrats have forgotten is government may not be perfect, but it's the only thing large enough to offset multinational corporate exploitation and corruption.

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And if we don't act like that's urgent and that affects people's lives, then yeah. So if the big policies that we make are billions more dollars to insurance companies that we think are fucking people over left and right. So isn't that part of why people lost faith?

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Right. They do control the email lists that continue to ask for money. They still have that.

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If you've never seen it, it's just the most, I think, creative and spontaneous. The guests, the fan calls in. There was a robot thing that scared the hell out of me the last time. You just don't know what's going to happen. If you want something you haven't seen before, a fresh take on Late Night Talk. And listen, who knows stale late night talk better than me, the man who invented it?

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But that's the point. So it's the audacity of hope with the governance of the possible. And that's the point. Like Donald Trump is nothing if not audacious. He manifests audacity. this way. Isn't there some part of you that believes? Yeah.

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But that, well, he accomplished them. He got the tax cuts that he wanted.

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I mean, he basically got the cabinet members that he wanted. I mean, he's, as you said, he's got- Well, he controls the Republican Party.

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I completely disagree because- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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But boy, they better clean their shit up if they want to compete. Because the ass kicking that's been laid upon them in all aspects sometimes feels like a permanent state. But damn, hope springs eternal. So who knows? Maybe the... the Democrats draft their Shador Sanders or their, I don't know, this is probably too sporty for everybody who even listens to this.

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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But more importantly, we are going to get to discussions about the Democratic Party with someone who is well-versed in all aspects of it, having served as a White House press secretary, having served in the Obama administration, having worked at the State Department. So we're just going to get to our guest today. We're going to break down

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Thank you. Thank you.

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Thank you. And then Roger Ailes, and now I don't know who's running, but they run it with a really clear mandate. You're at MSNBC. Do they come to you every day and go, here's what we think is important to preserve and fight for whatever?

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what we believe are the positives and negatives, what can be done for this New York football Democratic Party. Let's just get to it. And so getting right to it, delighted to be joined today, host of MSNBC's Inside with Jen Psaki and the new MSNBC podcast, The Blueprint with Jen Psaki, former White House press secretary under Joseph Robinette Biden, and joins us now, Jen Psaki.

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No, no, no. I'm talking about the head of it.

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See, I disagree with that. I think they, it's not that you're able to be independent. It's that you're then a prisoner purely to the minute by minutes.

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the ratings incentives and all those other things. If you don't have the ideological component, right, then you don't have a governing authority of editorial authority, right? The greatest trick Roger Ailes ever played was he delegitimized editorial authority while exercising absolute steel trapdoor editorial authority.

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It led them to be exactly what he wanted it to be, which is an effective expression of his worldview.

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I don't want it to be a mouthpiece of the Democratic Party, but I do think it can stand for something more coherent and be more effective in its execution of that by doing so.

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that it should be a check on the excesses, that it should be muckraking in the best sense of the word. But effective muckraking needs organization and a leader. And it can't just be left to everybody's random show to, I mean, I watch these shows all the time. I find them to be like wildly redundant and not really have a macro view, right? If you don't have a macro, I mean, this is, I don't know,

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I don't want to, I'm just saying like, it makes it less effective or interesting.

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A macro view of, is this the direction, right? That helped like the nighttime shows should not be divorced from the daytime show. Fucking four hours of Joe Scarborough shouldn't be allowed in this country. And, and, and then like Rachel Maddow, like it's schizophrenic at times. Like, yeah, I do think there should be some semblance of an idea that look, they're kicking progressive ass right now.

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You know, I like to give the presidents their full due with all the names that God has graced them with. Yes. Jen Psaki, let me begin with a rather intemperate question.

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And if, if progressives don't organize their, their media, their think tanks and all that, it's going to continue to happen. It's chaos. Right.

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But Ailes didn't do that either. It was the principle, the ideological principles, not the party. He and Murdoch the same way. They're promoting an ideological worldview that they believe is correct. And Theo Vaughn and Joe Rogan, I think, are different animals than any of this. I wouldn't say they're – I don't think they're part of any machine.

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No. I would think they're in – No? No. I would consider them in a more probably libertarian comedic complex. More along the lines of – and if you watch or listen to their shows, A, a lot of times it's just pure – like goofing off.

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What the fuck is going on here?

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I think they are supportive, but not, they are not relentless in the Trump enterprise. Like they are not Charlie Kirk. They are not Ben Shapiro. Like- They are very different animals. They are not invested in now the shit that you get picked up and like go to the headlines of media. Yeah. But on balance, that's not what their shows are about. On balance, Ailes like never took his foot off the gas.

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Oh, I'm sorry. Let me check my notes. You were pressed here. You were inside the guts of a White House. You saw how the sausage is made inside the White House. Yeah. You saw the pace of newsmaking. You saw the pace of executive actions. Tell us cadence-wise, tempo-wise. What are you seeing as the differences between this president's first, how long has he been president? 10 years now, Trump?

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Never. It was like there was not a wasted moment. And did it still with an eye towards producing very watchable television, right? That's missing. I think it's missing from the media is a sense of like, how many times have you heard, Jen? Our job is to call balls and strikes. And you're like, no, you're not a fucking, you're Upton Sinclair. So get on it.

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What was the most frustrating thing about the media when you were on the other side? When you were the press secretary, what did you find most objectionable about the media at that time?

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I want that removed!

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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How long has this been?

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It's difficult, I think, when the modes of media are changing as rapidly as they are to adjust. These kinds of changes create spasms when radio first happened, when TV first happened. When TV first happened, Kennedy went on the debate and Nixon was like, I don't need makeup. I look great. And that completely fucked him up. You didn't look great, Nixon.

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But I do think at some level, we all operate kind of tower records. I feel like You know, I host a television program where I sit in a studio and we do it and we work all day on the thing. And it does feel a little bit like, hey, kids, come in and see the newest CDs from Columbia Records.

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It's been three weeks. What are you seeing about just purely on pace? What are we dealing with?

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No, no, no, no, no, please.

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This will evolve. And the practitioners of it that do more... The one thing I would say is... like trust your discomfort, like trust your discomfort about some of this shit. Like when you said like, this has to change, like that's what I'm talking about.

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And I mean that writ large within the status quo of, of how we govern and the way that we create policy that battles corporate interests or battles a media industrial complex or any of those other fucking things. Like, The discomfort that you feel in those systems is your gut telling you like, this isn't the way to execute my intention at its highest level. Yeah. And I mean that for everything.

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And I feel like Democrats haven't listened to that voice. And Trump is that voice like without any other filter around it. Like I said, I think his diagnosis is oftentimes correct. I really disagree with his remedies and, and the way that they're executing them.

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Yes.

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And are overcomplicated by the corporate lobbyists and interests that get around. Like poor people aren't the ones who made the tax code 8 million pages.

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And the bureaucracy of them and the, you know, progressives and Democrats shoot themselves in the foot with regulations that actually make solving the problems they care most about nearly impossible.

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Yes.

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Now you're talking.

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And you can't just say, turn away from this disaster. You have to give people the place that you want it to go. You have to paint that picture. of what it should be. I'm delighted. And Jen Psaki, I'm glad that we had a chance to sit down and talk about it in a lovely conversation. It's a pleasure to get a chance to do that with you. And I do, I thank you so much for joining us. Thank you.

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All right. Host of MSNBC's Inside with Jen Psaki and the new MSNBC podcast, The Blueprint with Jen Psaki, former White House press secretary, Jen Psaki.

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Jen Psaki. Do you ever have the instinct to say Psaki?

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That's two people who probably broadly agree, I would think, on principle issues. But I think there's very much attention in that conversation now.

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Well, even when they say like, well, it might not be possible. And you're like, well, do you believe that it's right? If you believe that it's right, then we have to move. But maybe there's something even beyond that. Now, let me ask you guys this, because I think the job even before that is to regain the confidence of people that government can effectively manage any of this.

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So the premise right now is democracy was on the ballot, right, for this election. And so if that's the case, democracy got its ass kicked by, ironically, by the very thing that it said was on the ballot, democracy. He won the election. He got the popular vote. They kept the Senate. They kept the House.

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That's not a constitutional crisis. That's just how it goes.

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Understood.

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Even when there was extrajudicial killings, there was drone type things. Like there's a process in the court's order and injunction, but that is the truth. Like rubber meets the road. It all depends on what the priority is. And certainly he's operating more as a wrecking ball than anybody else, but it's not an unheard. It's just like everything else with him.

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It's all, as they would say in Spinal Tap, turned up to 11. Everything is just fucking turned up to 11. But what I thought was most interesting is We can't identify the infrastructure that would make these adjustments.

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Nobody can do it.

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Nobody stands out. Jillian, I can always count on you to tell me what the young people are thinking. Meanwhile, I couldn't even get my fucking email to open. And by the way, terrible apologies for a twisted sports analogy in the top. I know that Many people.

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What? I thought Broadway was dark. How dare they?

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It reminded me of that because Saquon Barkley and the Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl and I was watching him and to tie it all around to Broadway, I just began to sing Used to be mine. I'm a terrible voice. Waitress. That's it. What else we got?

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Yeah, let's do that.

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Oh, I'm sure. I mean, again, nothing is ever completely black and white. Like I say, some of the diagnoses that he has about the rig system, I completely agree with. I'm sure there will be something that occurs, or at least hopefully. I mean, I hope so. Christ, I live here. I mean, there better be something good that comes out of this.

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Oh, I think we're so beyond pendulums at this point. I don't know. I think it's different forms of matter. I think it goes now from gas to solid to plasma. I have no fucking idea. We are in a joint custody where the two parents have just so divorced from each other and it's such completely different. But, oh, I mean, I really hope. Yeah, I live here. I really hope something good happens.

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So the idea right now that I'm hearing the most from the Democrats is he is eroding our democracy. And there are procedural ways by which he is doing that, not honoring separation of powers. My argument is also that democracy is eroded by the people not feeling that it's agile.

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By the way, that is how things are done now. Like, you get five minutes with him. Like, Eric Adams spends five minutes with him and he's like, eh, tell the Justice Department. It's fine. He's a good guy. It'll be fine.

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He meant well.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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All right. Brittany, as always, how do people get in touch with us?

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All right, very good. Very pleased for the program today. As always, our lead producer, Lauren Walker, producer, Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola, audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce, researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear, and as always, executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Gray. Thank you guys so much. Are we doing a show next week or no?

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We don't have a show.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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All right, guys. Good stuff. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a comedy central podcast is produced by Paramount audio and bus boy productions.

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Or responding to your needs. Is that what has put us in this situation? Did people vote on democracy being too analog in this digital world, not responding agilely enough? And now by going through this Real executive unitary kind of reordering of constitutional powers. Is he doing the people's bidding? Is he doing this thing that will make democracy? How do you process that?

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This is your show. Check it out. It's fantastic. Tune in weekly at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Everybody's live with John Mulaney, now playing only on Netflix. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, welcome to the weekly show podcast. My name is John Stewart. That was as welcoming and open as I could possibly muster. We are shooting, this is the Tuesday after the Super Bowl.

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How dare you?

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What part in your mind was academic? I want to get, you know, is it they were talking civics when they should have been talking something that was more directly academic? impacting people's lives.

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Wait, what? How did that? Wait, where did that come from?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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What the?

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Obviously, he would he would not say that that's his primary position. But is it also could it be said? that the lived experience of Americans is that, look, Ronald Reagan had it in the 80s. What's the scariest thing that can happen? It's somebody from the government coming to your house and going, I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

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The idea being that Democrats are the party of the government.

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And institutions. And status quo. And the status quo. So I don't view that in any way as progressive. So when we talk about, oh, it's the elites and progressives and things like that.

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Now we're talking. Now this is the conversation that press secretaries have.

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But is that – how much is messaging about arguments over the right word to choose – versus the impact of policy? Have the Democrats lost themselves in message speak and lost sight of that broader goal?

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729.666

Yeah.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

75.921

I don't know when this is going to be airing in your earphones. God knows how much the world is going to change between the time that we are talking right now and recording it and the time that you are going to be absorbing and consuming it. But coming off the Super Bowl, I had this feeling

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

764.235

I wonder if,

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

766.36

know this idea now right when i'm watching uh the cable news now and the democratic messaging about what elon is doing and doge and all those other things the point that you made about oligarchy and civics and separation of powers maybe not being uh where not that they're not concerns but that's not where the messaging should be it feels like that message hasn't gotten through because that's i'm hearing an awful lot about

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

794.562

separation of powers and very little about defending usaid or defending i'm i'm not hearing a lot about here's the specific program that is so valuable and by not funding that this is what we lose there's been to be fair there's been some attempts at that but the overwhelming majority has been we are sleepwalking into a constitutional crisis

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

819.6

Again, taking the bait of the larger thing and not defending the efficiency or value of the programs.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

894.866

Why would why would that be?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

915.987

But that seems obvious, Jen. Yes, it is. So why are they not doing it? I wish I knew the answer to that question. That is the most painful sigh I have ever heard.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

958.996

Right. Well, then through an appeal process, like we've got a little way. Through could be. A little bit down the road, but yes.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

96.77

How do I draw the parallels between the game we saw, the things that we saw during the Super Bowl and the current moment? Isn't that clever to draw a line between the Super Bowl and our current moment and what the Democrats are? And I'll say this. I am a Giants fan, New York football Giants. And the New York football Giants have experienced a really interesting year in that we kind of sucked.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

968.63

The road to constitutional crisis.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Agreeing & Disagreeing with Jen Psaki

971.995

Boy, if that's not a title of a Rachel Maddow special, I don't know what is.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1041.92

I feel like this is turning into digital currency for dummies where it is. And unfortunately, I'm the dummy. So we've got to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1085.816

The 2025 Ford Explorer ST has a 400 horsepower engine.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1105.731

We are back. So in my mind, and this is perhaps... you know, rigid thinking to a larger extent. What can we put in place if it's not a securities regime that has regulation? What do you put in place that can protect people

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1123.029

who want to invest in this, but like in the way that the government would put in FDIC protections, if you had a certain amount of money in there, are there protections that you think would be worthwhile? At what level would those regulations become too onerous and start to stifle the creativity?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

113.54

But we are going to do our final conversation for this year with our go-to dude, who does our final conversations, Mark Cuban. As you know, we had Bernie Sanders on last week. We like to go from Bernie Sanders to Mark Cuban. You go from the democratic socialist to the billionaire, and you hope that the audience does not sustain a groin pull in that transition.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1194.444

You don't want somebody to start regulating it that doesn't understand it as a commodity. And this gets into the larger question that maybe ties together the two things that we're kind of talking about, which is your experience kind of in that political arena and also your experience within these sort of new, more higher tech. financial industries.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1212.493

And that is with democracy being at best an analog system, you know, sort of designed for the slow temperance and the idea of chewing on these checks and balances and all these things. It is so outmatched by this new digital economy. And was there ever a thought, I've always kind of in my mind dreamed about this kind of almost bureaucratic moonshot, a kind of Manhattan project to help.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1242.931

And I imagine you saw this when you talked to small businesses. Regulation is typically the domain of larger companies. They're the ones that make regulations complicated. Poor people don't, middle-class people don't, small businesses don't make it complicated. It's people that have two floors of lawyers that bring in all these loopholes. Do you see a pathway through

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1265.472

to create a governmental moonshot like that, that can clean out a lot of these regulations that are hurting the small businesses, but still protect them.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1281.923

Or is that doge? Is that what the doge is?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1301.36

And state and local that you pile on top of that. I mean, it kind of really rolls like a snowball down a hill.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

136.113

But a really interesting guy, really smart guy, and I'm really looking forward to the conversation, and I hope you guys are too. So let's just get on damn to it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is our annual weekly show pod wrap-up. As per tradition, Mark Cuban will be joining us. He is the co-founder of Cost Plus Drugs. Mark Cuban, welcome to the weekly show pod year-end roundup.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1466.903

Under the typical regulatory regimes, you're talking about five or ten years of incredibly expensive bureaucratic red tape that's going – and this really important artery for interstate commerce and all these other things would have been closed down. At some level, through common sense, the governor just said, fuck it. We're just going to build it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1489.48

And it was done in 10 days or something like that. And it really demonstrated how government could be more agile. And do we need to rely on some large language model or should we just look at things and go, oh, we need housing and we're crushing our ability to create, allow the markets to create this or to do those things through these other regulations?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1542.052

But I thought that's the whole point. I thought the whole point of people running for office is that they've got a vision for and they earn our trust as opposed to AI. And this, again, may be more of the Luddites view of not understanding of AI. I'm nervous about abdicating that, at least with people, there is a certain regime of accountability that we can bring through.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1565.687

I can't vote out a large language model.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1571.651

Wait, what?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1606.584

You're not removing people. So let's put it in sort of an athletic analogous model. We're talking a little bit about analytics then. It's really more about here are the analytics, here are the different metrics that we're going to plug into this. And now we're going to hand it over to the GM or the managers or whoever it is that's responsible for these things.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1626.952

And it's a tool to help them make more informed decisions.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

166.231

From now on, I am only going to introduce you as co-founder of Cost Plus Drugs. As far as I'm concerned, Mavericks, Shark Tank, billionaire, none of that. It's co-founder Cost Plus Drugs.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1676.109

You're talking about condensing a bureaucratic process through this new tool that allows you to make these decisions at a much more rapid pace as opposed to just abdicating to the computer goes, don't rebuild the bridge. And you're like, yes, master. No, no bridge, no bridge. Yeah.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1716.334

Here's the $64,000 question then. As the AI condenses that, you're talking about a great deal of human legwork and sweat equity that goes into these things. What happens to that labor? Is the speed of that worth the cataclysm that you're going to have in white collar?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1738.177

In the way that, let's say, industrialization changed the economy over 100 years, globalization changed it over decades, but it had, as we saw, a devastating effect for the manufacturing base. Does AI devastate white collar work, but in a very condensed form?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

178.783

That's all we care about. Mark Cuban, the year has ended. This has been a tumultuous, a tumultuous year. For you personally, you've changed in terms of you're done with Shark Tank now. Have you taped your last episode?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1783.311

We all become data entry people.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1831.132

Don't you think it's already got... I always get the sense that the AI models have already sucked up whatever 15,000 years of human existence we have, and they've already moved on. I I feel like the AI models are like, what else you got, man? What else you got? Songs?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1893.372

Wait, AI cannot get past a paywall? Is that what I'm hearing? A little bit. Yeah. I'm hearing that AI, it gets to a place to go, oh, I can't read this article.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

1987.746

Oh, I've got like five of them in the backyard right now. So we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

202.113

Now, did they throw at the end of it? Was there like a dog pile? What was the type of celebration that was done to end your reign?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2037.422

Special Agent Gibbs. Ready to catch some bad guys?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2062.847

We are back. Let's use the flip side of this. So you've got people looking to use AI models or analytics or to shorten the bureaucratic space between making decisions or to increase productivity or efficiency. You know, just recently we saw the anger erupt in this country. This young kid assassinates a healthcare executive.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2087.468

And underneath that, the big surprise is the level of anger, the level of sympathy for the kid and the level of anger against These algorithms that are now being deployed not to make things more efficient, but to help them deny coverage or to not pay certain things. And that's the counterweight, is it not?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2117.012

I don't even know how to log on to it. I know I'm supposed to migrate there. I have no idea how to get on it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

213.118

All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. No nudity, I'm assuming. It was all above board. It was all parental consent and that type of thing.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2152.605

That's the whole business. That's what we're trying to get out of. I completely agree.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2166.918

Well, they're adversarial.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2209.414

But there's so many different ways that money is sucked out of that system. You're talking about money out of your paycheck to pay a premium that has a deductible.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

222.143

And absolutely a wise choice. The one thing I want to ask you about, you stepped into the political arena, right? in a way that you have not in the past, what was your experience like there? Did it leave you wanting more? Did it leave you cynical? What was your experience being a surrogate on the political circuit?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2230.061

Okay.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2248.454

That's right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2263.249

But then why are patients going bankrupt when they can't?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2274.344

Oh, Jesus. Okay.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2327.486

right so now all of a sudden so we're all subsidizing this system of uh delinquency to some extent no nobody it's just the hospitals accept that risk and i guess you could say we subsidize it if when you cash pay a higher price at the hospital well that that's what i'm saying if they're if they're jacking up their prices And either insurance pays it or you pay it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2350.586

That's subsidizing this much larger default rate in a system.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2392.398

Why wouldn't they negotiate that if there's a bulk thing to $100? Why would it be higher?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2418.561

So how is this not collusion then? If both sides need to be higher, that's. that's colluding on a certain price and beyond that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2471.027

But you still pay the price on your credit score and on a bankruptcy. Yes. You pay the price.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2488.815

But isn't the whole fucking system, Mark, isn't it all, especially with the ACA, a bribe? Isn't it a governmental bribe to give to hospitals and insurance companies to say- as a way of saying people with preexisting conditions have to be able to get themselves some coverage. The whole thing is almost a trillion dollar bribe.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2510.406

And when you look at the levels of profits that are rolling through these insurance companies, Clearly, we find ourselves in an unsustainable moment.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2531.169

Well, that's when they tried to privatize Medicare. I don't understand, you know, with the satisfaction most people had with Medicare, now they've gone to privatizing that Part D or whatever they call it. And that's starting to – let's back up for a second because this brings us to a very interesting point that I want to ask you about.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2553.519

It seems to me that with all the checks and balances within the government, legislative, judicial, executive, all those different things, the one thing the founders didn't really add into the equation is corporate power. This idea that there has to be an entity that is large enough to in some ways be a counterweight to unfettered.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2575.595

The system we've chosen for progress and money is incredibly efficient at creating wealth, but it has a lot of collateral damage.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2598.18

But it doesn't because the lobbyists and the money and the billionaires that are putting their money to lobby against the government.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2630.003

And you wouldn't say that big money influencing politicians is the largest driver of those bad decisions? No, it could be for sure.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2638.93

Okay. Okay.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2652.479

That's what he would suggest. And I tend to agree with him, or at least a governmental system for all that allows for private insurance outside of it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2667.662

AI with a team of experts.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2716.162

But that's not how it's incentivized. Like even that guy, you know, the big thing about that guy that was killed was he turned that company a giant profit by putting in those algorithms that were denying coverage.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2742.399

So when you talk to, like you've talked to Vivek Ramaswamy, he's on the doge board and Elon's doing the doge board. What do you think their mindset is about – is their mindset to go into government and say, look, we need government to make better decisions? I think for a long time people have felt that, that feeling that we're not getting value for the money and that –

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2765.975

there's inefficiencies there. I think we look at it as a system that's been co-opted and corrupted. So what is the mindset going in there? Is it a Silicon Valley efficiency model? Because government does have this responsibility in a way that business never would for people's well-being.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2796.757

Even with interest rates coming down, you think it's still?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

280.803

When you talk to small business and medium business, What are the frustrations and complaints that you hear the most? Are they anything that surprised you about that?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2833.705

A collapse of what?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2843.989

Sure. I mean, no economic activity, you know, then everyone's going to want that. But in 2008, the government collapsed the interest rates so that the people at the top could get that free money.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2859.853

Well, let's look at it this way. Let's flip it to – there's a lot of people and it's this modern monetary policy where they talk about that the deficit doesn't matter because – and I tend to be sympathetic to this. You can print money and why are we selling this debt to other people anyway? Why don't we buy it ourselves? I mean, it's all kind of a shell game to begin with.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2885.002

Why not make it easier on ourselves to pay that down through the minting?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2930.104

I'm going to blow your mind here. We've created this new market of cryptocurrency and Bitcoin and all these other things that kind of has in some respects out of nothing made something. What if that was utilized to bring down those more troublesome aspects of deficits?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2950.581

Because we do need government to spend to help stimulate certain things, to stabilize people, to do things that have real value in people's lives.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

2972.388

By the way, they can't either. They just do it in a really smug, shitty way.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3000.671

But that's different. They were coming out of a place from very little stability. I mean, I think what undergirds our financial system is the stability of our political system. And if you start to undermine that stability, I think it's by paying that off, you continue to reinforce the infrastructure and stability of your system, which creates in and of itself.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3027.321

I mean, so much of this is perception and Zimbabwe is in a, like, look what's happening in Argentina right now. Okay. So Malay goes in there and he's got that more libertarian. He's got, you know, four dogs named after Hayek and whoever other economists are going that he goes and he dives into an austerity program.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3047.311

They plunge their inflation rate, but drives them into a recession and creates a political crisis.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3076.715

Even if you did a one time reset, like you looked at it like this is not going to be an ongoing thing. But, you know, as Krugman would say, I've got a trillion dollar coin and it turns out I'll just flip that thing over there and we've cleaned it out a little bit and we're going to give ourselves a little bit more of a fresh start.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3099.23

And you won't – because I know you love to spend your time thinking about this, and it's always – and I thank you so much. We probably went off the rails on crypto, but I've learned an awful lot. You still don't consider yourself, though, a viable political player. No. Oh, no. Right. And having that experience.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3117.096

Do you think being on the trail for the Harris campaign really dissuaded you of that ever as a possibility?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3140.923

I took it to dinner, you know, it was nice. But listen, man, do you really think that as a viable political candidate, you would take more shit than you take today? I mean, there's no question the amount of shit you take today. Just getting involved with the Harris campaign was extraordinary. I mean, they went after you like crazy.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

315.67

And the bottom line was, the hope was- Profit or is that, are you talking about that's net or that's- No, that's net.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3159.191

As everybody, look, I take it just from being on fucking basic cable. Like, it's extraordinary the reach of that now.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3230.801

But that's the kind of thinking though, that's so crucial because there's two sides of the coin. One is profligate spending from the government that doesn't consider, you know, I had a conversation with a deputy secretary of defense where we were talking about the $850 billion budget. And you would have thought like,

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3249.665

I asked what underwear she was wearing, like her response to being questioned about the lack of, uh, uh, passing an audit on $850 billion. Multiple times. Multiple times. Just, you know, went like, how dare you? Do you even know what an audit is? And I'm like, I, I thought I did, but maybe I don't. But the arrogance of it was wild.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3269.845

So the idea of connecting spending to value, but the flip side of that is the idea of cutting spending with no discernment for value either. It's one thing to say, I'm getting rid of the Department of Education. It's another thing to say, Here are the aspects of the Department of Education that are viable. Here's the aspects that are wasteful.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3289.137

Hopefully, do you think it will be that considered a process, or will it be just a giant reaper that goes through?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3332.009

Efficacy, yeah.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3347.558

I mean, maybe this will be another one of those like, how can we fuck New York? Right. How can we kill them?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3361.25

Absolutely. And it's already listen, it's a it's as tight a squeeze in the House of Representatives as you could ever imagine. I think they've got a little breathing room in the Senate, but that's designed in such an undemocratic way that. it can present a difficulty to begin with. But Mark Cuban, my God, I know you're a busy man. I'm going to let you go.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3379.983

Next time you're in town, you got to come and let me get some face time at a pizza joint, learn more about all this crypto and everything else. I appreciate it so much. You're our end of year go-to and I can't thank you enough. As always, really wonderful to talk to you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3398.366

All right, man. Good to see you, brother. You too. All right. Take care. Talk to you later. All right. Final pod conversation of the year. We are joined, of course, by our great producer, Lauren Walker, Brittany Mamedovic, and Jillian Spear. What a good first date. Not even a first date. That might have been a third date with me and Cuban. I think, did we consummate?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3432.43

Are you saying that that date was a cliche?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3441.016

I guess I'm looking for a man in finance.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3447.381

And boy, did I find him. Do you understand any of that, by the way? I hated to have him walk me through it like I'm a...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3456.533

crypto kindergartner but it was helpful for me to sort of understand what the the the idea of it is and it's it really does seem to be just an agreed upon the idea that it's been agreed upon we've agreed upon that this has value we've agreed upon a system in which it will be uh traded and

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3478.608

And we're going to keep the innovation going. Are you guys into crypto?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3487.455

See, how is it not Beanie Babies is my point.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

35.683

Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. eBay had it, and now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3515.733

Jillian, you're dead on right. And I swear to you, and thank God I didn't go there, but I was like, you mean like Western Union? Yeah. You go there in a telegram and you tell a friend, telegraph me a cashier's check for $150. But it really is one of those things where at its heart, and I understand that it's popular, but you really are like, it's kind of a mass illusion.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3542.84

And then when he starts talking about your gold, then you're like, oh, the whole fucking system's a mass illusion. And maybe it's nice that they're kind of creating a new one. And maybe that supplants it or just injects more wealth into what can only be considered the bro podcast world. Maybe that's it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3565.985

Exactly.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3648.809

Do you think fire, when fire came out, people were like, I'm going to lose my heating job. Remember, I'm the guy who walks around and rubs everybody's hands. Now fire is going to fuck it all up for me.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3662.254

Well, even that, like the dystopian aspect of like, oh yeah, no, you got to plug into AI whether or not to fix the road. And you're like, hmm. There's an accountability in government that, well, it'll be a tool to help. But yeah, you're right. I think they haven't quite figured it out.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3676.637

And I think when you are on that cutting edge of innovation, there is an exuberance, irrational and otherwise, that comes along with it. And it's hard not to get swept up in that enthusiasm. I'm assuming that that's what... you know, angel investor meetings look like.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3695.672

But at some level, stepping back and going like, hey, just so we're clear here, you're saying that the computer controls the entire hospital and decides like what oxygen to turn on and turn off through analytics? Because it is that algorithm is what was denying everybody insurance.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3718.865

Let's hit them, man. This is end of year. Come at me, bro. Whatever they got, man. I'm handling it. We're getting out of here. We'll have a few weeks to recover. Let's fucking do this.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3740.841

Oh, wow. You mean they're asking for self-reflection? Well, you guys know this. I get annoyed at myself for being a little high horsey and you get a little of the sanctimony in there. try to relax sometimes on the certainty of my opinions. And the contrarian thing.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Reflecting on 2024 with Mark Cuban

3769.843

I really do feel like if you threw me in a room with somebody who wanted to argue AI was gonna destroy us all, I'd be the guy who'd be like, it will save us. And then you throw me in a room with a guy who's like, it'll save us. And I'll be like, it will destroy us. Like that's, I think I have a fucking fiddler on the roof problem, which is that on the one hand, but on the other hand.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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So yeah, I've, I've done, I've done a lot wrong this year, but I've had an awful lot of fun doing so.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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What else, what else we got? Anything?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Oh, wow. A favorite billionaire. You know, I wonder if I know more than one. Like I've talked to him. I've talked to Elon. I don't know. I'm trying to think if there's another billionaire. I probably do know them. I just don't know. You know who I would say? Seinfeld. He's actually pretty close to probably being a billionaire and funny as shit. He might be the funniest billionaire.

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Yeah. And he does, he generally doesn't try and chip us or he doesn't try and like do other billionaire shit to us.

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So I give him credit on that. You know, he could.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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That is my favorite billionaire. I didn't even think of that. He got me Juan Soto for my birthday.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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I met him once. We did a – boy, this ties together the whole thing. We did a charity dinner at – it was Stand Up for Heroes and they bid on different things. And one of the things was you could bid on a dinner with myself –

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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and uh jim gaffigan and seinfeld and louis ck pre uh thing so steve cohen bid on it and normally when people bid on something like that they never fucking they never like it's just a way for them to just give the money yeah cohen was like you're coming to rayos so he made us go and i remember we went And it ended up, for obvious reasons, being Steve, Seinfeld, Gaffigan, and me. Oh.

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And I remember making the joke to Jerry saying, geez, I can't believe the lengths that Louie went to to get out of this dinner. But that's, yeah, that was my experience there. Yeah, good to have a billionaire owner of a team you like.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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All right, let's bring it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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If you can just give us five years of good baseball, you don't understand the Mets are not, this isn't the Yankees of like a tradition of 26 championships. And every year we're in the playoffs, like in, we come out, we suck. And then every now and again, come out of nowhere, like suck, suck, suck championship in 69.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Got to the World Series, I think, in 73, but did make it and weren't very good that year. Had a miraculous recovery. 86, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck. Then all of a sudden, 84, 85, 86, they were good. Never got back there again. Were good through like a little bit of the 90s. Got to the World Series again in 2000. We're not a history of like steady accomplishment.

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So if this dude just comes in here and raises the baseline level of our team, I used to take the kids to the last game of the season every year at Citi Field because you had the run of the place.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Do you think he'll raise the prices?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Really? That's a really good deal.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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They're just giving them away. They'll pay you to go there.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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That's what they love from, that's what they always want from a surrogate is for them to go like, Hey man, screw your notes. I'm just going to say what I'm, were you able to have any influence on policy at all? You know, I know there was some discrepancy between unrealized gains and that was something you thought was a kind of a non-starter. Did you have some influence on policy there?

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Oh, that's just not even, we're not even in the same ballpark. That's like when Tracy, you know, when I got married and when we had kids, we're like, what are we going to do? She's like, oh, we're going to celebrate all the holidays. But she knew how, like, I was about to get swamped. I'm literally saying to the kids like, all right, everybody, who wants to light a candle?

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And when there's little kids around, like when my kids were little, like Maggie with Elf on a Shelf, I will forever be grateful. We once got one and we got a stewardess on a plane to, we had brought Maggie's Elf on a Shelf. We were traveling somewhere and the stewardess came out of the cockpit going, does anyone know who this is? And we have a picture of Maggie's face. She's just going, oh.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Like she, the magic of it.

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Can't, I mean.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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You know, at six, she was not darling. She did not, she didn't have a stash. So there was no, but that's, that's, that's a fine point. But you guys, I hope you have a great holiday, but let me just say, boy, the work that you guys have done. And I hope that the listeners understand.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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that I have the part, like I stand on the shoulders of real workers, like you guys put together such phenomenal work this year and allowed me to just really, you know, what's the best part of it? I think because you all are so diligent and thorough and curious, it allows me to have that backing that I can just be present in the conversations, which is the best gift.

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for somebody who's interviewing somebody is to feel like the work that's been done for you is so thorough and interesting that you can just then plop it out and let the conversation and let the conversation flow. So thank you guys. Thank you, John. So much.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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And enjoy your holiday. Brittany, what are the socials?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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That's what Cuban was talking about, the blue sky there.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Boom. All right, kids. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. And to the two of them, top fucking shelf. You guys have been crushing it all year. And Rob, congrats. on the baby's first holiday. Enjoy that. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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And as always, our executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Gray. That is all for the weekly show pod 2024. We will see you guys on the flip side on 2025. And thanks again for everything. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Now streaming on Paramount+. I'm Madeline Matlock. I'm a lawyer, like the old TV show. People assume I'm a harmless old lady. Is not the Matlock. She's a freaking genius. You're expecting. Back when I tried cases, we just prayed the horse and buggy got to court on time.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Well, that's me. Honest to a fault.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Paramount Podcasts

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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So you're saying the conventional wisdom, which is she should have gone on Joe Rogan's podcast, is wrong. She should have gone on Gary Gensler's podcast and told him what was happening there. Now, as someone who is – I understand slightly about blockchain and I certainly understand the utility of something like that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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In terms of crypto, look, if you talk about young men and on apps, as far as I can see, they're also on FanDuel and all these other gambling apps. So explain to me, help me understand why this isn't just a random gamble for these young men that isn't going to come back and bite them in the ass. What's the underpinnings of it and why is it –

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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better than just jumping on FanDuel and trying to hit a parlay on Saquon Barkley, which we won't get into.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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I see.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Hey everybody. Uh, welcome once again, it is the final weekly show, uh, Potapalooza, uh, at the end of this very tumultuous 2024. Uh, we've been delighted, uh, that you have stuck around and that you've, uh, listened to these fine conversations as, as much as you can. And, and I hope that you've enjoyed it and we're going to keep going.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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That's how I've been getting at the supermarket. I've been slicing my gold, getting my eggs. For you, a little smipple for you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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But now we have between gold and Bitcoin, there's this other thing that we have, which is currency. And is this meant to augment that, to replace that? What are the transactions that are made better by using either Bitcoin or crypto or those things? What need is it filling, I guess, is

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Now, is the idea then that like what would happen with like, say, an Apple Pay or something along those lines, that stores will begin to adopt a technology so that its use becomes more convenient, even at like, if I'm running down to Wawa and I want to grab myself an iced tea. So let's talk about two different things. That's two different things. Okay, okay.

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But by the way, I apologize for making you do this remedially. No, that's okay. But I really don't know it so well, and I would like to know it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Now, who limits that? Is there an overseeing body that makes sure?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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We're going to be on ourselves, uh, a little bit of a break, uh, rumors that I am taking a few weeks to soak in the Juan Soto signing. No, that's not true. That's not true. I knew it was coming. Listen, when you're a Mets fan, you expect the best. You expect it all to go your way. You're like a Gatsby. No, it was a complete and utter... shock and joy.

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Or an e-book that they would download or something along those lines.

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Is this something that's been applied yet to music publishing? Because that seems like it would cure an awful lot of the difficulties in the royalties of music publishing.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Right. He wanted to regulate it like you would regulate stocks for those that are...

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Fuck.

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Not only not going to cut, he just proposed a trillion dollar defense budget. Trillion.

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And then the rest is deficits. Now, as you watch this, as someone who has, look, McKinsey, and you understand the consultant side of it, you understand the mechanics of it, are you seeing the matrix on this from them? Because one of the things that I think is

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He will come out and be like, oh, the nuclear bomb I dropped on the economy, it worked. Vietnam has decided that they're going to make a deal like nobody's ever seen before. And that's going to be the way that this thing off-ramps. You would imagine, because these guys are, I mean, between the signal chats and the trillions in the economy and firing people at the FAA and nuclear commissions...

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Whether they're right or wrong, people make bets on, you know, every administration has their idea of how they're gonna stimulate the economy, how they're gonna raise the money.

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The one thing that I've been almost more shocked at by anything is an inability to coherently communicate what the idea is and what the plan is other than everything's unfair to the United States and we're not gonna take it, we're not gonna be the world's whipping boy. even though for the most part, this is the world we created post-World War II and policed. But no longer will we be the patsy

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But there's, I've heard very little in the way that you're describing now, consistent logic.

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We've got to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

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I imagine it's got to be mind-blowingly frustrating to watch shit like that go down. You know, stock market's tanking, $10 trillion going out, and the Democrats are like, we can't even wear a tan suit. If we wear a tan suit... The world goes bonkers. It's the lead story for a week. And these guys, like you said, my favorite was RFK.

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He was talking about the huge cuts to Health and Human Services and all the people and how they had to rehire people. And he goes, we always knew that 20% of those job cuts were going to be wrong. But we always knew the part of the plan was always we were just going to rehire 20% of the people. And you're like, what if you took an extra two days? That's what I can't figure out. What is the rush?

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It's been two months. What about trying to negotiate trade deals prior to killing the hostage and then asking for ransom.

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they are forgetting, uh, the first rule of authoritarian regimes, which is you kind of have to get shit done, right? That's, I think that's the whole point, isn't it? We, we let them disappear people cause they do shit, right? Is that, is that how things go?

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Better than Noblesse Oblige and the Rite of Kings, you're saying. We need a process that's not necessarily the whims of the individual. So have you thought about that process? And look, in transportation, you guys had this bill that was going to build all these charging stations. And by the time You know, you guys left, 100 had been built and that's about it.

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Then you get to wear, uh, I went over to come out and wear the jacket with the epaulets or whatever it is that those guys like to do come up with the nickname, but you gotta live up to that end of the bargain from what I understand. Uh, But it's been very interesting. And we've been spending a lot of time talking with some Democrats about where they see this thing going and their frustrations.

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Have you thought about the things that you would change within that process to make building more efficient and more productive?

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Absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

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So what is it in those processes? Because that's what I'm interested in. When I look at, for Democrats, it seems like if they want to solve a problem, that solution has to solve every problem. In other words, we need rural broadband, but the solution also has to solve inequality, racial inequality, climate change. We have to load it up with everything before we can start.

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Is that something that you've identified?

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Right. If I were to sum it up in sort of the only experience I've had in working down there is mostly kind of VA stuff and watching how that goes.

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it seems as though the government has a bit of an adversarial relationship to its clients, which is the people, in that it basically, in setting up protocols that are going to weed out waste, fraud, and abuse, those protocols create waste, fraud, and abuse. In other words, you treat whatever 2% to 3% of fraudulent or wasteful

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or abusive practices are going to occur, you're going to make the other 97% of the people go through an incredibly inefficient, not commonsensical process. Wouldn't the... Maybe the main thing is to just flip that and say, this will no longer be adversarial.

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And there's someone that I really wanted to talk to about it because I find that he's so articulate and well-versed. He's been an executive as a mayor. He's been within administrations. He's well-versed in a lot of different aspects of it. And he's one of the few people who's able to articulate those experiences in such a great way. So I'm just going to get to our guest for today's program.

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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And what we'll do is we'll bolster on the back end the look for waste, fraud, and abuse so that we don't delay everything by two and a half years to set up all these ridiculous obstacles. Would that be a simplistic version of that?

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That's right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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But there's a real cost to that, right? But as you watch this administration bulldoze through all of that, and I watched, by the way, George W. Bush do the same thing. It always was shocking to me. You know, the Democrats would have a super majority in the Senate and they'd have a majority in the House and they still would have trouble getting some things done.

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Whereas, you know, George Bush could get whatever the fuck he wanted without having any. As you watch them bulldoze that, do you find that there is a ground that you can take that isn't so risk adverse that you paralyze the entire workings of the government?

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Which one of those do you think would be the most challenging? Because I think right now, you know, people would say government can't regulate itself. It can't constrain itself.

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Here he is. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest today, very excited, our former Secretary of Transportation, Mr. Pete Buttigieg is joining us now. Pete, look at you with the scruff. You're not working for a month or two and you're growing out the beard now?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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Operating and good. I always said, you know, libertarians are just Republicans whose towns haven't been hit by a tornado yet. You know, it's always, oh, we don't need anything. Then after the tornado, it's where's the money? A quick break. We'll be right back. We are back.

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And they make it physically, like you've got to go into the guts of the email.

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That is true.

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And to have that coherent, you know, we were talking to Michael Lewis last week and he said something I thought was really a great nugget about this, which was, you know, the government is there to fill in the gaps where the private sector won't. And I think that's something that is not well articulated in that the private sector is not a freedom machine.

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It is not something that takes care of all the needs. You need, in the same way that The legislative has to check, the executive has to check, the judicial, which has to check. You need some balance between public and private so that the excesses of the operating system we use, which is capitalism, don't create the kind of collateral damage that it often creates.

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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Government has to be that mitigating factor. There's nothing else of the size of multinational capitalism that can provide exactly as you say. I've always said, I think the biggest limit to American freedom and liberty is poverty and struggle. Yes. Almost entirely.

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How do we get people more margin of error? Because it's not just even in the low income, but middle income, it's that squeeze where you have no margin of error. Your parents are getting older as your kids are getting ready to go to college and the childcare isn't there. I always found it interesting if you look at the tranches of where your taxes go. The first five of them

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Nice.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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I think are like defense, service of the debt, social security, Medicare. It's things that don't impact, don't give people really margin of error until they're either really old or really poor. But if people aren't confident that the government can competently provide those things, It's sort of a chicken and the egg now. Now we're in this terrible cycle. Yeah.

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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What is... You know, I'm always curious... Leaving the government in the way that you guys had, right? It's an incredibly intense experience to work with when you're in the government at that higher level and you're managing things at that higher level. And then that moment when you kind of pack up and leave, what is that feeling like?

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I love that Denmark has parental leave and has national health care. And we looked at their country and thought, you know what we got to take from them? Greenland. Right. The one thing that doesn't, that's got nothing to do with what makes that country. That's true.

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And to be honest about it with yourselves, it's still a reckoning that... You know, I think there's still a generational churn that has to occur within the Democratic Party, the government probably writ large, although I think a lot of the younger energy is probably on the other side. But there seems to be a real reluctance and fear to walk away from those challenges.

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legacy structures and incumbent structures and embrace, you know, I thought it was so interesting, you know, even something as small as AOC not getting the senior position on the committee she wanted and they gave it to a 74-year-old guy.

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Nothing against him, but it just speaks to this idea that I don't know if what you're speaking about, I don't know if it has registered yet writ large within the leadership.

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I assume in some ways, almost maybe like the experience you had leaving the military or you know, you're sort of now, you've been running at 120 miles an hour, and then suddenly it's,

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He's not even old enough to be in the Senate yet.

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He had lots of degrees.

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You know, it used to be that way. There were presidents that would end up on the Supreme Court and then they would move up. There was an ethos that it wasn't. I think ceding power wasn't the difficulty that it is today, that it wasn't. Boy, you see it with wealth. You see it with power. There's an incumbency to all of it. And it's very difficult to get any churn.

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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And I think the interesting part is people don't begrudge, I think, power or they don't begrudge wealth or those things. I think what they begrudge is if once that power and wealth is accumulated, you begin to use it to insulate and isolate the system, to rig it in a way that makes it nearly impossible for others to then permeate those hallowed halls of money and power.

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I thought you were going to say prostate cancer. That's a terrible term.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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And for the incumbents to have a sense, I think when you're down in Washington, and you probably experienced this as transportation secretary, the access to those individuals is so much greater for industry lobbyists or those with power and money that the other voices really are never heard, that they're not heard at the very least at anywhere near the same volume.

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And so it's very easy as the daily churn goes on in Washington to lose sight of what those voices would be telling you as opposed to the voices that you do hear.

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More the political layer.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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But they have access to you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Sure.

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Like a hubristic, perfect storm of entitlement and arrogance.

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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Look at the panic that occurs with the simple town hall that, you know, this idea of the town hall, the kind of Capra-esque vision of you know, a John Doe to stand up and ask a question to their, they're treated like, oh my God. Yeah, they stopped doing them. They went into the lion's den and you're like, of your voters, of your constituents. They stopped doing them.

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They stopped, they just stopped.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Does Washington discourage that to some extent for people? And can you remember a time that you can recall hearing something and you went, oh, I think I might be looking at this wrong, where you were open-minded enough to hear something constructive? And the only thing I can liken it to is in some ways, like I can remember reviews of things I've made, like a movie or something where like,

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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it's just ripping me to shit and i gotta like get through it but there's like one nugget in there that i'll read and go like oh god that's right why didn't i do that like have you had that experience yeah sure all the time i mean uh you know there there are times you see things you just

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Tariff-ying Times with Pete Buttigieg

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Right. And as you move forward, because right now, the Democratic Party, you would hope, is in a period of reflection, but also of laying groundwork for what that new vision or a convincing argument to be given the responsibility of creating that new vision would be. I've seen it done with individuals. I've not seen much of a concerted effort.

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in the right direction. So this comes out Thursday. So by then we could be at war with China or more likely, I think President Trump will do the thing that he always does. And I use this analogy with Rahm Emanuel on the show, but I think it's instructive to say it again here. I used to have a dog who would eat things on his own volition. This was not, he was not encouraged to do so.

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top down, even, you know, the new guy they got at the DNC, you know, his first comment was like, their billionaires are terrible, but our billionaires are great. Like, you know, it was just like, oh, shit, we're screwed. You know, are you seeing a nascent effort in the way that, you know, the Republicans, they had all their ducks in a row when they got in the door.

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Doesn't seem like Democrats have any ducks. They're all free range. They're all flying around.

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Right.

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That's not how it works It's also not something you can conjure exactly in the way that you know, they just think oh, let's inorganically build this thing those those positions have been built over time and they've earned their credibility and they've earned their authenticity and they've earned all those things and that they have, you can't just poof them into existence.

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And by the way, very impactful when you show up in spaces and articulate something that it almost feels novel to them.

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Right. People who have other shit to do. Yeah. Yeah. No, I find that a lot of the media now is, it really has become a kind of self-sustaining legacy kind of complex. And I always tell people, you know, like even with shows like mine, I run like a tower records. Like we are in many respects, dinosaurs, dinosaurs of infrastructure.

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Like I'm out there like, hey kids, come on in and see the new CDs on the rack. And they're like, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't go into brick and mortar stores. I don't listen, you know. And these things naturally evolve and there is a churn and new voices arise and those voices can be really exciting and valuable and it creates, you know, new avenues to express these ideas.

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Oh, that's got to be so hard. To have had your hands in that pie and to have had some control over it and then to watch things happen where you no longer have any agency in that must be very frustrating.

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No question.

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But there is a lot more Trojan horsing going on nowadays than I think I can ever recall. Things that are, you know, they keep exposing, oh, there was a Russian oligarch who bought $8 million worth of podcast shows and nobody ever said anything and they just went through it and You know, they are incentivizing and there's, I guess they used to call it payola, but there's a great deal of that.

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And even somebody like, you know, Leonard Leo would admit to it. I saw an interview with him where he said, oh, I did what the left did with universities. And you're like, the left didn't do that with universities. They didn't pay millions of dollars to infiltrate universities with left-wing activism. But that is what he did with the court. And he would say as much.

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Yes, I'm capturing our court system through the use of money. Like, he'll just say it.

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Hey, the algorithm is all knowing it all. It's a radicalizing machine. And that's why I always say these things are not the town square. The town square doesn't have

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suggestions it doesn't make anti-semitic remarks at you every time you log into the town square like that's just not how it works but uh i think i think you're right do you feel confident and i'm cognizant of your time because i know you're probably gonna go pick up the kids at uh at a certain point uh or maybe grow that beard out a little more because i gotta tell you friend you need some work filling in a couple of gaps yeah i'm working on it i'm working on it all right very nice

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In your travels, are you confident that you've identified at least some of the players that you think will be valuable in creating those three protocols that you talk about. Have you run across the areas where you think these are the people, because it does need macro leadership. You can't wait for life to bubble up from the primordial ooze of the damage of the election. It has to be led.

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And it has to be nurtured. Have you seen the buds of that?

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Well... from your mouth to god's ears sir uh thank you so much pete budaj for joining us uh and and i'm so glad you've been able to take a breather to disconnect but also have not unconnected and uh i look forward to seeing the fruits of all those things in the future thanks thanks for having me on enjoyed it no man my pleasure

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You can silence those notifications now.

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That must be such a weird, you know, we're all in a business where, and you guys, we all experienced it working at the problem where one day you're in the hive of the office and everything is bustling and all those things. And the next day you're crying at a karaoke bar with nothing to fucking do.

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expecting to revisit this today yeah right oh god that was a dark time i loved his story though about going to visit the projects that he had been involved in when he was in charge i love that imagine pulling up to a construction site being like hey how you guys you know i the money he's undercover bossing it how's the trenches puts on the helmet and a little orange jacket

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and walks his way through but have you you you've all had that experience of like one day you're in it and the next day it's just out and i've always found for me the way my mind works that's a really hard adjustment because the brain is going like this and when it stops it turns and it looks at you and like well now i'll just devour your face like it turns on you

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Oh, I think he's.

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Oh, Jillian. Sweet, sweet Jillian. Or do you think he's like taking pottery classes? Where do you think this thing is going?

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Maybe that's the way to go, but hopefully they'll begin to work on this new plan. I was like at the end, I was like, so you'll do that, right? I was definitely like guilting him a little bit. Like, so that sounds like a very smart plan. You'll do that, right? You'll get on that. What are the listeners saying, viewers? What's this week's?

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Juicy, bring them, bring them.

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oh uh i mean i grew up in the late like i was born in 62 so like my one of my first memories was like martin luther king being assassinated like i was in a uh kindergarten class in the middle of trenton and there was unrest and like we had to hide under our desks and uh and we got to eat lunch under our desk and i was like this is the greatest day ever meanwhile it was

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you know martin luther king because and then robert kennedy was killed and then vietnam and i'm you know we knew people in vietnam and then watergate so you can imagine that roiled you know for anybody that was that was supposed to feel like our country was stable and we were on a path to greatness like that was a very volatile mercurial tragic catastrophic error

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so and by the way i think i said error and not error but both are applicable in that uh so i i think that informed a certain level of skepticism a certain expectation that things are not uh inevitable that things are not solid and that uh and that greatness can be lost and that it's not a rite of passage it's not

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know exceptionalism is not a birthright it's you know it's that it's work and happens that shocks the conscience and system and that was that that's your sort of formative years and then of course reagan came and fixed all of it so um morning in america yeah yeah but do you now for you guys you know we've all grown up in in slightly different

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eras, does that resonate with you guys for the way you grew up or not as tumultuous?

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Which is nice.

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I apologize.

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Brittany, if I'd known that, I would have tried much harder if I had gone out on there. Jillian, what about you? Same?

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Isn't it interesting though, that for all of us, and maybe it's just the way that I started framing it, but that the awakening is based on chaos and disorder and not on hope. And like, I think if you talk to other people, they might say, oh, mine was Martin Luther King organizing marches or Obama's election or, you know, something else that was gravitational, but to the positive.

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And I wonder if that changes your perspective because when you do ask me, like, it's not... I was not raised into politics through optimism. It was through chaos.

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And I wonder what that does to your, I don't know, to your mentality. It's a good question though.

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Yeah. Or that you carry yourself like, it's sort of like when you live in New York, you carry yourself like you're braced. Nobody like strolls through New York.

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By the way.

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Excellent point by Jillian. If you are strolling through New York. Do it around 10th Avenue or 1st Avenue. Don't do it towards the center. No. You'll fuck everything up.

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Right. Now, in terms of the role in the House, I found like after I left the show, and was home for a bit that apparently I was unaware of all the protocol in the house. So everything I did that I thought was incredibly helpful was like, actually, that's not the way we do things around here. Oh, is that what you're going to do with the laundry?

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Very nice.

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All right.

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Sure. The more Ted Cruz, the better.

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As I have always said, I can't get enough of that sweet, sweet Texas man. Of course they should be allowed to have podcasts. I don't know why they would want them, but I do think they should be. I think they think this format is the new media, but oftentimes I think uh, familiarity breeds contempt to a large extent. And, and those things are not as intentional and directional.

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And you're seeing it now. Like everybody that wants to run for president is like, I know how I'll do it. I'll start a podcast and drive. And you're like the first week, everybody's like, Oh, this shit. Wow. That was at an hour and a half. That was fucking long. Like it's, I don't know that it's necessarily the best way for those folks to, uh,

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communicate i think obviously transparency but you know certainly they should be allowed to and as a matter of fact i think in this country podcasts may become mandatory for everybody for everybody over 14 but certainly i i love the fact that ted cruz is the person that they brought up yeah should ted cruz be allowed to and you're like boy i do want to say free speech and i do want people to have but ted cruz that is uh britney how can they keep uh in touch with us

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As always, great job, guys. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitolo. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear. And our executive producers, including just back from maternity leave, the great Katie Gray and Mr. Chris McShane. We're delighted to see you back.

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The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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You're going to bring it down there and do it that way? Because that's not the way we do things around here. Like in the same way that you get onboarded into the government, did you have to get onboarded back into the house where they're like, actually, that's not what we do at dinner. We do something different.

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You thought international diplomacy was difficult, but... Trying to figure out the toy situation in the van, that can create... By the way, speaking of tantrums, how are you... absorbing this new tariff regime in the world. Look, I would imagine you wouldn't argue the point that the idea of renegotiating certain trade barriers or those types of things wouldn't be a worthy pursuit.

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I imagine you would take issue with the table overturning tantrum way of doing it. So how are you absorbing this general shock?

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He would eat grass and sticks and whatever he could find outside inevitably He had a delicate stomach. He is my dog after all. That's how we knew we were each other's soulmates. The way I process lactose is the way he processed everything that he would eat from the outside. He would become nauseous. He would vomit. And then before I had a chance to get the towels, he would lap it up, clean it up.

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Math error in how they came up with these numbers Oh, they divided the the deficit and and then the goods and that's isn't that reciprocal tariffs?

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Will it be prices, though? Because as you collapse the economy, Nobody will purchase anything. So maybe The way this works is sure it raises the prices of certain things But what if we we won't buy anything if consumption goes down so so?

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You can ride it out. If you're a billionaire, you can probably ride it out.

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Do you find it interesting, you know, when you see certain interviews or things or the reporters go out into the world, the people that are oftentimes most vulnerable to it seem to be the ones that are most okay with it. So it's, you know, when they talk to people that are in, you know, the shrimp boats down in Louisiana or the, Like you say, certain factory towns in Indiana.

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I think there's a certain feeling amongst them that the system is so rigged and we've been screwed over for so long that fuck it, like burn it down. And I find that to be, it's almost faith-based. They have faith that, oh, he knows what he's doing and this is exactly how it's supposed to go. Now, someone else might look at it and think,

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. It is, I'm telling you this, April 8th. I always tell you now, the day that we're taping this, because of the velocity by which change occurs in this nation, which is becoming great again. By leaps and bounds, you may say to yourself, okay, occasionally we take a step or two back, but clearly...

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you're not really giving us a coherent explanation as to how the manufacturing is going to come back. It's certainly not magic. People have to trust to reinvest that kind of money. And look, when manufacturing went from 30% of the economy to 10% of the economy, yeah, that's a problem. What are we aiming to bring back? Do you have a sense of what the internal logic is

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It is, are we fighting a war that was fought in the 50s and it's not the future, it's the past. In your mind, how is this calculation going?

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And then he would look at me like, hey, huh, buddy? I did your favor, right? Can I get a treat? And I would always think like, no, that was your, you made a mess. And yes, you did clean it up. But I got to tell you something. You didn't clean it completely up. You left damage, residue, things like that. And that is what Trump will do.

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Are they still going through? Totally.

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What article of the Constitution is you can't trust each other?

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it's in there somewhere it's it's how it's worked that's article one and two that's how it works brian you're you're in you're caucusing uh with the republicans and let's let the audience know brian's record in congress i think you've been voted the most bipartisan member of congress for uh uh however long you both are in districts that voted for the candidate from the opposite party uh representative swazi is in a district that went for trump even though he's a democrat

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Representative Fitzpatrick is in a district that went for Harris, even though he's a Republican. So so you're really in the kind of that crucible. And Representative Fitzpatrick, I want to start with you, because within navigating that sort of Freedom Caucus process, you know, really stringent purity testing that goes on as far as the Republican Party and what Trump wants.

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How do you navigate not necessarily being on the same page about these issues like immigration or tariffs or those kinds of things?

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And you have kind of a built up immunity then to the, you know, they always challenge members to that.

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I love that recently Dick Durbin, Senator from Illinois, he announced at 80, he was not going to be, and he announced it as though it was an unusual announcement. He's 80 years old and he announced, I don't, you know, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna run again. I think we should set an example. And I was like, yeah, at 80, just... Just when he was hitting his prime for the Senate.

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Don Young, yeah. Well, Clyburn just said he's not, you know, they asked him, because I think he's 82, he's in the House, obviously, but they asked him and he said, I'm never leaving. This is my life. But I do think there are perverse incentives.

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So let's talk about that a little bit, because are there structural things within the House or within the Senate that you guys as a bipartisan coalition would change that could, because one of the things that I felt I learned from having lobbied Congress over these years is it's a surprisingly insular place. It really is perversely removed from the wants and needs of the people they represent.

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Another gold cherub in another gold leaf frame until there is no wall space left in the Oval Office. Fuck that. Fuck. Fuck you for telling the American people, oh, you know what? So your kids have to go without. Why don't billionaires, why doesn't he ever say, hey, you know what? Maybe you don't need $350 billion. Maybe you just need $10 to $12 billion. Maybe you don't need any of those things.

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And the people that have the access really are industry leaders, moneyed interests and those kinds of things.

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Yeah, it was insane. But that gets us to the crux of the conversation, which is this. Is the dysfunction within the Congress what leads to the opening for a more populist leader like Trump to bypass it through the executive actions? In other words, is the failure of Congress

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to understand how to effectively deliver for the people that are outside the beltway and not the lobbyists, is that how the ground is seeded? And I'll ask you, Representative Fitzpatrick, for someone to come in and go, screw all this, I'm going to bypass all this complexity and deliver directly, even if it's very much on the fringes of what may be for the Constitution.

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I believe regular order. He asked me, he said to me, why are you so upset about this?

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And I go, well, my friends are dying. So that makes it kind of an emotional issue.

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Why isn't his scolding of excess in any way self-reflective and turned around to the people who have bought and sold this country to all the interests that are making it more difficult for people to live better lives. Why not say the same thing to the profits of the insurance companies and to the banks and the financialization?

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Well, you can't lose if it's gerrymandered to your political party. But you could be, to Brian's point, you could be primary.

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That's right. That's the threat is you'll lose your job.

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But that's why sort of, you know, there's this sort of platitude of like, well, we all have got to collaborate. We've all got to work together. But but the system is not really incentivized for that in any way, shape or form. But the second part is the long view of it is if Congress is not able to address its dysfunction, it will be making itself irrelevant.

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you put yourself in a position that it becomes this vestigial arm of a government because it opens the door for executive order, especially through these executive orders can oftentimes be incredibly popular.

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And when that process runs through the courts in the next 11 years...

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So the Senate had an opportunity, just I think it might have been last week or the week before, to address that disconnect. They had an opportunity to retake for the Congress the power of tariffs. And it ended up being a theatrical display in the Senate. Three Republicans, I think, Murkowski, Collins, maybe one other, voted to have that done.

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But you knew it was theater because it was just the right amount of senators that would leave it to J.D. Vance to break the tie. And what does that do to the lawmakers? And what are the conversations like that we're not privy to, not the ones that happen on the news, where people say, we know this is theater. We know that probably Senator Thune went, okay, I've got three slots.

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I have three people that can vote. to retake the power of tariff from the president without us actually having to do it. There's no way that there's only three people in the Senate on the Republican side that believe that the Senate should retake the power of tariff. So how do we explain that to the American people? That's yours, Brian.

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All right, quick break, and we will be right back. We are back.

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No, it's people who are buying pencils for their kids who've gotten out of control. That's what's out of control, those people. Not him in his Saddam-like palace. You know what? What if you had 10 golden toilets instead of 20? or the font on the giant Trump sign was slightly smaller. God! And Congress just stands slack-jawed as it all goes down. We're so upset about the tariffs.

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Well, even more, you know, when Senator Murkowski says we're all afraid, and I don't think she was talking about holding on to her job. I think she was talking about she is physically – and if we lack the courage to do what's right. I think the frustration as I watch it is, and you rightly say, there are people that speak out. Senator Cassidy spoke out about his concerns about RFK Jr. and HHS.

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You have Senator Willis today spoke out about Ed Martin and not allowing him to become the district attorney for DC and all those different things. I think what's hard to watch

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on the outside is to see people speak out on principle and then vote on convenience awful that i think that's been the toughest part to to watch is you see the theater of it but when it comes down to the voting there's a a real dearth of of courage and i don't know you know Representative Suozzi, obviously, as a Democrat, you guys are in a different position. You're the opposition.

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But Representative Fitzpatrick, you're probably dealing with this behind the scenes.

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But that would take congressional action. And what kind of a Congress would ever willingly cede their own power? I just can't imagine it.

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Or blood that isn't corrupted by the incentives of the system, which I'm sure for you guys, look, how much of your job is fundraising, is trying to get money from all this? The idea that corporations are people and money is speech has polluted. I'll give you an example. The We talked about the PACT Act earlier.

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I remember when we first came down to discuss this, Rosie Torres of Burn Pits 360, some veterans groups, John Field, we met with, it wasn't problem solvers, it was for country, the for country caucus. There's got to be, how many caucuses are there in Congress?

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We've got to do something about the tariffs. Let's have a vote about it. Yeah, I don't know about that. Why don't we, you know what? Well, let's wait. Let's see what happens. which is why actually, so we're going to be talking a little bit about Congress today. We got a couple of Congress people that are coming on the show. We're going to talk about the intricacies of it, the ins and outs.

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But tons of caucuses, mostly just resume padding. It's for the yearbook, the congressional yearbook.

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Yeah. So we met with them. Rosie had laid out a very compelling case, the veterans that were there. They were all incredibly supportive of doing something for these burn pits. And as we were leaving, we got pulled aside by two representatives. And they said, this is something that needs to get done. There's a lot of veterans that are suffering. Could you guys write it? Could you guys write it?

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Now, we have the best interests of what these groups are at heart. But what it said to me was, oh, shit. If Congress is so busy that whoever has a legitimate concern that comes in is offered a seat at the writing table, hey, if I'm a bank, if I'm an insurance company, if I've hired a ton of lawyers to do all that, it means that industry and lobbyists are in charge, really, of legislation.

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Well, I'll tell you the difference as to why. Maybe you guys can address this, is what they realized is what we were asking for wasn't something that they would have been negotiating against themselves if they had gone to the Senate Veteran Affairs Committee or the House one.

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Veterans Affairs Committee, because they would have negotiated out things that they thought were not germane or doable. So to get the veterans what they needed, we actually needed independence. Because those committees are captured by the same interests that you guys are talking about. It permeates the entire building, does it not, Representative Fitzpatrick?

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These are a couple of guys who are working with something called the Problem Solvers Caucus. It's right in the name there. They caucus to solve problems, generally about how many dolls I'm sure people can buy.

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Right. And listen, insider trading. I mean, there's you know, that goes on all the time there. You just saw that just recently when the tariffs got done. Not all of a sudden there was a huge boon for all that.

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But let's get to our guests and learn a little bit about why is Congress so passive and what are they going to be doing about the chaos and destruction that is being levied on so many American families as we move forward in this administration era. from Caligula, for God's sakes. Let's get to them now. Ladies and gentlemen, very pleased today.

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I wonder though about this, you know, because, you know, we talk about that a lot that it's, oh, it's, it's the extremes on one side or the other, but social media has polarized this country in a way that's far deeper and far more, but I think I would have agreed with that maybe 15 years ago. I think now if you expand it out, these kinds of,

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rigid clinging to dogma or ideological differences is much more pervasive in our society than it does. And I think our understanding of government is much less. So we have this more reptilian reflexive understanding of it. And I'll give you an example of how that works. And hopefully this will resonate with you guys.

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So for instance, Doge, Department of Government Efficiency, who could be against that? You know, the idea that you can make government more efficient. But unfortunately, in the practice of it, or the idea that there's a deep state that's controlling your life and you have no control over it. So Doge comes in, they do that. I'll just lay this out for the Zadroga bill.

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For the 9-11 first responder community, there were... 93 people that worked in NIOSH administering this bill. It was all done to statute. It was all done really well. They cut 30% of those people. They just, as they say, rift, which is RIF, which is the way that they retire people and fire them now, another 16 of them. And what this has meant is they say, oh, we're not, we're just reorganizing.

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But in the reorganization, there are now people sick with cancers that can't get certified to the program and can't get treatment. This is the chaos and confusion of those that don't understand how these things run are creating real damage down the line for real people.

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So walk us through how you guys might do that. Because maybe that gives us a better sense then of what this, the idea of problem solvers and how you guys can- you know, with concerted action can make that difference. How would you guys go about this?

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And then said they didn't.

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We have two elected officials of these United States of America, Congressman Brian Fitzpatrick and Congressman Tom Swasey. Brian Fitzpatrick represents a lovely district in Pennsylvania. Congressman Tom Swasey, areas of Nassau County and Queens, et cetera. They are co-chairs of the Problem Solvers Caucus, which is a congressional caucus that I think we can only assume Solves problems.

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You're talking about the programs that we had, USAID, some of those programs that had like HIV.

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But we're hollowing out. I think the downstream effects of this, guys, is that we are hollowing out any of the government's ability to exercise these kinds of programs. They're very complicated. The statutes are written that way.

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And it's going to be hard to claw them back in any real way.

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Look, they cut money from food banks.

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This gets back to our original... premise, though, which is how is Congress going to we are all talking about devastating consequences of reckless behavior of people not understanding and not as a bug, but as a feature of what they're trying to do. How does Congress regain some semblance of control so that this hollowing out of American exceptionalism The brain drain.

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Look, you may not like Harvard, but the best minds and the best research is part of what comes out of those funding grants. If we are to turn our back on all that, I don't understand how that makes us great or how Congress can keep saying, hold on, guys, let's just give it another five minutes, give it another 10. At what point do we reach a tipping point? All right.

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We're going to take a quick break. We shall be right back. We're back.

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Gentlemen, welcome to the weekly show. I wanted to start by asking you guys about this Congress. Tell me about this Congress. It's apparently elected representatives that have the power to enact laws. They used to be, before the president took over and

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Do you realize what this is? This is, as we talked about profiles and courage, it's profiles and fear. So now you're basically, the basic premise is hopefully everything goes such to shit that Congress will be more afraid of the voters than they will of Trump.

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Right. Or working in collaboration with them to just not be afraid of them, but to just listen to them and execute. And the irony of all of this is Trump administration is spending billions more in their first hundred days than the first hundred days from last year. Right. They're actually spending more.

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than anybody's ever seen before. So let's, let's just talk about what within problem solvers, give me a couple of successes that you guys have had that you feel really positive about and that you feel like you can, you can build on as a kind of a, you know, a first couple of steps to starting to get this done. And what have you seen from your group in this new world we're in?

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Although a country isn't, you know, if my family had a mint. True, true. They would make money. Or if my family could sell debt to, you know, Japan.

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Would the first step of that be to decide what is the level of immigration a country can safely and appropriately absorb? And what I never hear in the immigration is to the positive, which is what does it add economically? What is the amount of people that can be absorbed?

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So is that the first step rather than sort of viewing it as this blob? We start to really tease out what this all is.

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Reagan had the greatest immigrant amnesty program passed, and that was all in the 80s.

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Representative Fitzpatrick, is there you see energy on your side for this as well? Or is it too politically difficult to find themselves in sort of agreement with the Democrats on this? Is it is it too hot right now for the two sides to even begin to come together on it?

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Although it was with the Lankford bill. That was, I mean, to be fair.

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The premier of Canada, Mark Carney, visited the White House today and the president once again said incredibly rude and disrespectful things. about Canada, but I am still hung up, quite frankly, on the interview that he did with Kristen Welker on Meet the Press, where he continues to float this idea that Americans just have too much, that in this new world order,

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It's as though it's two people who are trying to make sense. We're trying to solve problems.

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Very nice. Representative Fitzpatrick, has it been difficult? The president of the United States, Donald Trump, he signed, I don't know, 150 executive orders. He has done all these things. Is he bypassing Congress? Do you guys feel like you have as strong a voice?

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Here's what we need to do. Make Congress great again. I know it's not the greatest acronym. Exceptional. We want it to be exceptional. Exceptional again, whatever it is. Gentlemen, I very much appreciate the conversation. It's really helpful to get... you know, a realistic inside view of what's going on.

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Because I think people are just so incredibly dispirited right now and frustrated by this runaway train. So I really appreciate you guys being here. Representative Tom Suozzi, Representative Brian Fitzpatrick, the Problem Solvers Caucus, a bipartisan group in Congress trying to get a few things done before Elon moves us all to Mars or wherever the hell we're all going.

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Thanks so much for joining, guys.

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Those guys were, I have to say, a little bit more... They tried to go down platitude road, but I thought they brought it down to a slightly more honest assessment of like, hey... we lack courage. I love the idea that he was like, I wish we were less afraid of Trump and more afraid of voters. I think that would be the, but it is all fear-based. It was.

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Yeah. I just, I just don't know how realistic.

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What if you were reasonable and did something? Interesting.

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Of the other caucuses? Yeah.

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Wait, I could see the cranberry caucus being like a very small subsection of New Jersey because I think we have cranberry bogs.

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Right. How is that its own? We get together and just talk cranberries?

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Cranberry caucus is all email. They just, hey, what if we put cranberries in apple juice? What would that be like?

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You both, well, Representative Suozzi, you've only been there for a little bit, but Representative Fitzpatrick, as a Republican, do you feel like you still have a strong voice in this administration?

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That is crazy. So I guess Swazi was the representative, went off to run for governor. Santos got the seat.

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That was so fast, though.

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Imagine how big a liar you have to be for Congress to go, you got to get the fuck out of here.

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Yeah. Look, we lie like crazy, but you, you got to get, that's just too much.

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What do we got for, Brittany, what are we dealing with questions today? We got anybody?

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All right. What do we got? What do we got?

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It's an excellent question. I think the tipping point's around 111 to 114. We're almost there. We're so, we're on the precipice of greatness like nobody's ever seen before. My favorite part about, because as far as he's concerned, we were great the day he won. We sucked. We were a catastrophe.

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I don't know if you saw the Welker interview that he did, but she was saying, hey, these are some things in the economy. We've lost trillions of dollars in wealth. There's a lot of uncertainty. There's some headwinds that are going on here. Some people are saying there's going to be a recession. When is it the Trump economy?

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And he goes, well, I honestly believe the good parts of the economy are me and the bad parts are Biden. I just thought, well, what a simple way to go through life.

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Does he, do you think he does that with his kids? You know, I, I look at the good, the kids and I think, oh yeah, the good part is me. And the bad part is whichever of their moms.

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I love this thing. Like we trillions of dollars in investment, like you've never seen before and go, we haven't seen it yet. Cause the last time you said the same fucking thing and none of it happened.

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Right, right. Sad. Nonsense. Brittany, how do they get in touch with us? How do they continue to send in such specific questions about what day will be great again?

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Nice. Thank you guys very much. We had another fine, fine program. You guys, your preparation and attention to detail is second to none. I truly appreciate it. Lead producer, Lauren Walker. Producer, Brittany Mamedovic. Video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola. Audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce. Researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear.

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And our executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Grape. All right, kids. Next week, we'll see you again. Weekly show podcast. See you next time. Bye-bye. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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Well, that's an interesting point because we are seeing, you know, when you talk about the budget, well, let's start there with the budget. So this time, you guys represent this Problem Solvers Caucus, which is basically, it is a bipartisan caucus that gets together and they try and make recommendations.

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And forgive me if I'm getting the details wrong, but apparently you can't make a recommendation through the Problem Solvers Caucus unless 70% of the members- agree to it. And it's a, is it a 50-50 coalition? 50% Democrats, 50% Republicans? Is that the idea?

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So when you join this caucus, you are making a pledge that if the Problem Solvers Caucus endorses this, then the entire group has to endorse it. So this is an interesting point then. You're in budget negotiations right now. I'm assuming that the reconciliation process is what's going to get triggered and that Democrats will not be involved in the budget process whatsoever.

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Is that an incorrect assumption?

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He's suggesting it's a way for them to avoid the filibuster in the Senate that generally would require some bipartisan action. Now, so for the Problem Solvers Caucus, you're basically sidelined in terms of – budget, and that is, for the most part right now in Congress, the large majority of what you guys are doing. There hasn't been, I think the president signed, what, five pieces of legislation?

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that he is creating, that it is important for children to learn gratitude and simplicity in terms of the amount of dolls. He seems to be stuck on 30 to 37 dolls as the magic number of what spoils a child. I'm not sure there is a child that has received 30 dolls in the span of a year, unless they are

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It's a small number comparatively with his executive orders. Would that be correct?

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And so that's what makes it so difficult. Now, my understanding is that the Republicans are going to attempt within reconciliation to maybe expand the powers of that through reconciliation. So they're also going to deal with regulation and some other elements that are a little bit more controversial than just sort of your standard fair. These are the appropriations.

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Would that would that also be correct?

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My understanding, it was about the executive's ability to pass something that the Republicans wanted, which was a change in how regulations can be struck down.

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That's right. And would that be the parliamentarian who would decide if that? It is.

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now is that different than the lankford bill that came out before the election that there had been bipartisan support for and and actually would have passed had it not been uh i guess uh the the president wasn't the president then intervened and said please don't pass this is this is this a substantially different bill than that

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Hello, everyone. Welcome once again to the Weekly Show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. I will be hosting the program today. It is, I think we might be even taping a day earlier than normal. Yeah, it's Tuesday, May 6th. May the 6th be with you. We've got a May 4th and then Cinco de Mayo. May 6th really has got no game. It's got nothing going on, which is truly a shame.

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All right. We're going to take a quick break. We will be right back. Hey, you like trees, right? Who doesn't like trees? Trees are they're lovely for God's sakes and fast growing trees. It's America's largest online nursery. You can get thousands of plants and trees grown on American soil by American farmers. There have been 2 million happy customers for these fast-growing American trees.

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A Trump child, which is, it gets us really to the crux of how fucking wrongheaded his entire approach may be because he sees no value in moderation for himself. There is no, he is not leading moderation. through the exemplar of a dignified and less consumerist life. He, as you can see, every time there is another press conference within the Oval Office, another gold cherub gets its wings.

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Visit fastgrowingtrees.com slash weekly. That's fastgrowingtrees.com slash weekly. And obviously the offer is valid for a limited time and terms and conditions may apply. Let me ask you both, because you're in this situation where the president has a vision of how government should work. And it's similar to, I guess, how you would imagine he thinks the Trump organization should work.

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It's not a public company. And that he is the chairman and CEO of America. And this idea of a kind of bipartisan is almost the antithesis of of how he has governed, how does that complicate what you would consider to be the primary driving force of this problem solvers caucus when he doesn't seem to be receptive in any way to that type of bipartisanship or collaboration?

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I don't know that Brian shares that vision, even though he's a Republican.

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Wednesday morning? No. Yeah, Wednesday morning. It's going to come out tomorrow. I think that President Trump is still speaking. He's just wrapping up now. He's just now... He's giving out some cars. And I was... Last night... He's so much... better at this than all the sweet, sweet Democrats with their protest hatched in some high school theater workshop or wherever it is that they got.

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Hey, Leute, ich möchte nur sagen, dass eure Gebeten beantwortet worden sind. Erinnerst du dich, dass alle in L.A. sind? Ich war tatsächlich glücklich genug, daran zu teilnehmen. Es ist zurück. Alle sind live mit John Mulaney. Kommt wieder zu Netflix. Mulaney, der so lustig ist.

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and tall that's the part i don't really care for the tall part but so funny if you've never seen it it's just the most i think creative and and spontaneous the guests the fan calls in there was a robot thing that scared the hell out of me the last time you just don't know what's going to happen if you want something you haven't seen before a fresh take on late night talk you Und wir sind zurück.

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For those who are maybe being introduced to Maria at this time, Maria walks the walk, stood up when Duterte was in power as a journalist and was arrested and had her rights removed from her. I'm sure it was a really frightening time for you. In that moment, what gave you the

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The courage, but also the fortitude to see what you were seeing and decide, I'm going to speak out, no matter what the cost is. Is that a conscious decision that you make?

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Was war der Impetus für das, Maria?

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And they were accusing you of what?

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Oh, wow. That's it.

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Hey man, I've got some magic markers in my locker. Why don't we just write phrases on postcards? And while the president is honoring people who've lost their children and gold star families and giving people, you know, West Point commendations. I'm just going to hold up a handwritten sign that says, I'm sad. This isn't right. Oh, we're fucked. It is, it is.

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Und die Anzeichen sind, Sie wurden mit was beurteilt? Mit Berichten? Mit Fakten? Wie haben sie das, was Sie berichten, Ihren Journalismus, in den Krimi umgesetzt? Was ist die Art und Weise, wie sie Informationen in diesem Bereich kriminalisieren?

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So they, you were like Al Capone, that they wanted to shut you down because they didn't like the fact that you were exposing... Layers of corruption. And rather than say, oh, it's criminal to expose our corruption, they tried to find some other dumb shit and grab you in that regard.

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They wrote a law in response to a story and then tried to arrest you. Because of the story. So they retroactively arrested you.

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Yeah, understood.

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Das ist, weil alle, ich meine, ich denke, sie sehen alle anderen in der Welt als NPCs. Sie sind sozusagen nicht spielbare Charaktere. Und so, du weißt, wenn dein Ethos ist, all diese, diese sind nur Teile, die wir auf einem Board bewegen. Maria, ich möchte dich fragen, du weißt, du hast etwas wirklich Interessantes gesagt über einfach voranzubringen und solche Sachen. Was denkst du davon?

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Ich habe Zuckerberg und Bezos ein bisschen überrascht. Er geht in den Washington Post und sagt, hey, von jetzt an ist unsere Opinion-Page keine Opinion. Ich habe zwei Pillar, von denen ich mich komplett versuche, von denen ich versuche, von denen ich versuche,

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und persönliche Freiheit oder so, weißt du, es ist im Grunde eine mehr libertarische Sichtweise und hat nur gesagt, unsere Meinungspage sind jetzt diese beiden Dinge, das ist es. Und ich bin sicher, was er empfiehlt ist, und sie müssen diese beiden Dinge oder was auch immer meine Vision ist. Und es ist so antithetisch zu dem, was tatsächlich passiert.

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Diese Idee, dass eine mehr eingeschränkte Gesellschaft für Menschen persönliche Freiheiten erhöhen wird oder freie Märkte kreieren wird, ist eine Lüge.

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And they're not obeying, by the way. I think they agree. I think they like it this way. I think they like a unitary executive that agrees with them that there's only a certain class of people that should control all aspects of society. I would say this theory of strong man ist etwas, worüber sie sehr positiv sind. Ich sehe es nicht so, als obdachlose.

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And that's why, here's, here's why I'm very excited about today's show. Die Gäste, die wir heute haben, sind jemand, deren Geist unvergleichbar ist. Jemand, der wichtig ist und hart arbeitet, um die Art der Welt zu erschaffen, die sie denken, fairer und rechter ist und all diese Dinge. Und unser Gäste heute macht nur das.

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Ich denke, sie haben die Möglichkeit bekommen, so zu sein, wie sie sind. Sie haben keine Verantwortung mehr, sich zu verzeihen, dass sie das Respekt oder das Glauben oder das Wissen der Bevölkerung im Allgemeinen haben. Ich denke nicht, dass sie es bemerkenswert machen.

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It's transactional, yeah, transactional.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Right. Was not explicitly that. We should be clear, this isn't a black and white. There's always an undercurrent of kleptocracy. There is actually a stream of that, that is how the world works. And we should recognize that. This is making it explicit. Yeah. And saying, hey man, this whole ethics thing, that's a real pain in the ass. So let's just go straight. Yeah.

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That blew my mind too, man.

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Right. It wasn't algorithmic. It wasn't your distribution was your distribution. You wrote things. People were drawn to them. You know, there was no thumb on the scale. There was none of those kinds of things. Right.

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Und ich denke, er beschreibt absolut eine kohärente und sehr klare Sicht auf das, was passiert ist. und Strategien, um zurück in eine mehr konstitutionelle und freie und faire Welt zurückzukehren. Und ich denke, Mann, sie ist die Antithese, um dumme Scheiße auf Plakaten zu schreiben und sie aufzuhalten. Also ich werde sie einfach bekommen, weil ich...

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War das nach der Maidan-Revolution? War das dann, als es... Es führte zu... Ja, ja.

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All right, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.

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Okay, we are back. You're saying there is a manipulation that is strategic and purposeful. Boy, Maria, what's so interesting about this is, it reminds me, as you were talking, of advertising in the way that, you know, you think about like the old cigarette companies and they used to create almost cartoon mascots, you know, Joe Camel and

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und solche Sachen, weil sie versuchen wollten, junge Menschen zu enttäuschen und zu enttäuschen. Ja. Und so haben sie designt, und ich bin sicher, dass es sinnvoll war und ich bin sicher, dass es in der Wissenschaft basiert war. Ja.

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Sie haben diese unglaublich willkommenen, du weißt, Sussien-like Charaktere, die würden, du weißt, wie Kindercharaktere, die wären wie, hey, weißt du, was du gerade, Timmy, ein paar Schmucks benutzen kannst? Komm schon! You know, and then it would get addicted. But that same principle, you said it earlier that I thought was really interesting. They studied. What did you say?

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I just love her and I just want to hear her thoughts on all that is happening within this volatile time. So let's just go. Meine Damen und Herren, wirklich, es gibt sehr wenige Leute, mit denen ich jetzt sprechen möchte, um ganz ehrlich zu sein.

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Fear, anger and hate were the three tent posts that drove the most engagement and that incentivized it. And those three things. drum up for a populist, a real, I would think, populist opportunity to harness that fear, anger and hate and use it to consolidate power.

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It's an incredibly difficult machine to break because to a certain extent you're saying they've rewired the brains for these dopamine hits of fear, anger and hate. and use that to seed purposefully a vulnerability. Am I summing it up similarly to how you're seeing it?

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Das sind PSYOPs. Das sind PSYOPs.

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That was my point. Once they discovered what was going on, the government came in and said, you can't do that to kids.

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Which they would, by the way, frame as, oh no, that's just free speech.

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Which is a very cynical interpretation when you're doing it on behalf of President Trump, who threatens to throw people in jail. wenn sie etwas sagen, für das er sich nicht interessiert. Also lassen Sie uns in ihre geistigen Freisprache-Vorschläge einsteigen.

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Aber es gibt niemanden, mit dem ich sprechen möchte, als unsere Gastin Maria Ressa, deren Resilienz, ihr Geist, ich liebe und erfreue den Nobelpreis-Winner, Rappler-CEO, Columbia University Professor. Maria Ressa ist mit uns. Wie geht es Ihnen? Ich bin gut. Hi, John.

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Selbstbeschränkung.

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Oh Gott. So the whole... Boy, if this gets us into something, I'm going to ask this. And I'm sorry to be bouncing around, but Maria, you're bringing up so many interesting and valuable and essential points. But it just popped into my head. You mentioned the EU. You know, when you realign with Russia and the liberal democracies and you weaken the EU, is the purpose here, the EU...

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is a far more stringent regulatory regime. They sue tech companies. They have certain restrictions on these algorithms. They have certain things. Is this all a play to just remove any guardrails on AI and incentivizing tech and all those different things? Is it not really about... You know, democracy versus, I don't know, autocracy.

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Is it really about like, I don't like that you don't let me do whatever I want to do with my company?

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Facebook, Twitter, du hast den Effekt gesehen. In den Philippinen ist es wahrscheinlich ein guter Petri-Disch für das, weil es kleiner ist. Es ist wie wenn sie Studien über Fruchtfleisch machen. Es ist etwas, das sie einfacher studieren können, weil es eine klarere Bildung ist.

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That's right.

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Du warst Testküche.

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Sie sagten, lass uns sehen, wie das McRib in den Philippinen funktioniert, und dann sehen wir, ob wir es in Lima, Ohio rausnehmen können.

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Wow. And by the way, Cambridge Analytica, for those who don't know, it was an absolute right-wing ideological scion. Right. And by the way, Bannon's been very clear about that. He might be the only guy in all of this that I sort of respect, because he just says, this is actually what we're trying to do. And they go about and do it. There is no pretense to any of it for him.

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It is a delight. Maria, your experience throughout you being in the Philippines and going through the trials and tribulations that they put you through for the crime of As you're watching things unfold in the United States right now, how are you processing all this?

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Oh mein Gott. Ich schaue einfach Maria Ressa, ziehe die Verbindungen und mache all das und bringe das Board auf. Ja.

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Maria, I'm doing my damn best. I really am. It's just hard.

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Information Mining und all those things, right?

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Boom. Bars.

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To get the clicks, man.

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I was going to say, it's about to get turbocharged.

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That's got to be bumper sticker somewhere, but that's enshitification. Excuse me while I scroll through my enshitification feed.

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Oh, Lord. You know, Maria, I'm wondering, and by the way, you've laid this out, I think, beautifully. And I think... In some ways you've given us a little bit of a way to see the matrix, if that makes sense. You're showing us the code and how it's used by political actors to try and consolidate and gain power and continue to consolidate.

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New media structures have always created volatility, whether it's the printing press or radio or TV or those kinds of things. Is there a chance? Two questions. Will the human brain adapt in some respects to this in-shitification so that it won't have the same powerful manipulative effect? Not to say that they won't always try and get ahead of it.

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And number two, can the in-shitification be turned into in-nice-ification? Can it be reverse engineered for a better outcome?

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And the friends network is what you trust. If it's sent to you from someone in your network, whether on Facebook or Twitter or whatever it is, they've got trust. But the institution that would generally have some editorial authority does not have trust.

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I mean, it's like... Boy, you could not pick a child of Cassandra and Sisyphus. That is going to be a very stressed out household. Yeah, but I see where you're coming from there. And I also... It's very interesting to watch because this fact-based universe that you're talking about is not as profitable, given the incentive structure that you're saying there.

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And so you find the institutional places where you would go to trust these news organizations are losing that battle a bit. We always talk about, I view it through a legal kind of framework. If it was, they say, well, what should the press be doing? Und ich sage immer, anstatt diese anderen Incentiven zu fangen, sagen die Leute, oh, wir leben in zwei verschiedenen Realitäten.

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Ich denke, du hast es am besten gesagt. Es gibt Realität und wir alle leben darin. Ja. The boundaries of our shared reality. And that is simply it. That is all you exist to do, is litigate that reality. Because as you said, a legal structure has evidentiary standards. And if you can't meet the evidentiary standards, because journalism is trying to keep up with the circadian rhythm of social media,

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Es gibt ihnen keine Zeit, ihre Beurteilung und Argumente voranzubringen.

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Du gehst zurück zu Fakten. Ich höre eine Sirene in der Hintergrund, Maria, und wenn das durchkommt, bin ich sehr überrascht über dich. Und jetzt höre ich eine Sirene und ich bin so, was sagt sie, was macht sie? Kommen sie jetzt?

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Hey, Leute, ich möchte nur sagen, dass eure Gebeten beantwortet worden sind. Erinnerst du dich, dass alle in L.A. sind? Ich war tatsächlich glücklich genug, daran zu teilnehmen. Es ist zurück. Alle sind live mit John Mulaney. Kommt wieder zu Netflix. Mulaney, der so lustig ist.

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What are the tenets of the Matrix Protocol? What would you have to abide by to exist in the Matrix Protocol?

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Jeder kann seine eigene Erfahrung designen und gut, ja.

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Ich glaube, ich habe das gesehen. I think I know what you're talking about.

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Und das ist wahrscheinlich Teil der Strategie, würde ich sagen, Maria, ist, dich zu verletzen, bis zu dem Punkt, wo du einfach fühlst, dass du dich nicht engagieren wirst. Ich meine, um ehrlich zu sein, die ganze Strategie hier, und ich denke, Junge, du hast es in Bezug auf seine Bedeutung genäht, ist, die Menschen von der Macht zu entdecken. Ja. Und die Macht unverletzt zu haben.

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Ich denke, die Partie, die für die Menschen verletzt ist, ist, Once again, it's up to individuals, sort of in the same way that they do with global warming. Like, well, if you just conserve, you'll do better. I think we need to battle on the same playing field. I think we need powerful, top-down. And that's why I think news organizations have infrastructures.

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And they are well positioned to be real tentposts In this battle for our shared reality. And that's why I think I get so frustrated watching them fall prey to these other incentives. I think it starts there. I mean, right now, the Democratic Party is in utter disarray. They don't even have a playbook. It doesn't appear to be to me.

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So I look to these other places with infrastructure and communication abilities. But there are a couple of other structural things in the United States I want to talk about real quick.

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Beyond that, which is, you know, we are a much harder, the Philippines is a smaller, it's sort of like when in America a liberal might say, if you look at Finland's healthcare system, we could just apply that, you know, smaller, more homogenous areas, harder to do. We are a vast country with a ton of people, however badly they think multiculturalism is for the fabric, it's here to stay.

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We are not easily categorized within there. Is that in any way, Maria, a bulwark against the kind of capture that you're talking about? Or does this cut beyond those structural advantages that America might have?

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Also, es ist ein Ausdruck, es ist retro, es ist zurück in die Faschistik.

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Nein, sie wollen eine globale Reihe von Nationenstaaten, die sich als singulär bezeichnen, aber tatsächlich zusammenarbeiten, um dieses eine mehr illiberale Ziel zu erreichen.

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Du weißt, Maria, ich dachte wirklich, dass das eine etwas optimistischere Ansicht sein wird. Ich wusste nicht, dass du das so schnell ausbrechen würdest. First of all, it's so interesting because Trump was very clearly on the side of Duterte and I did not realize that he had pivoted so quickly to Russia and China in the same way that in some respects we've pivoted to Russia.

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believed you know you were exceptional if you're american so kick in i guess is what i'm saying john right kick in or or atrophy i mean the things that are exceptional atrophy us and i think the the greatest trick that is played upon us is this is all being sold to us as american exceptionalism yes it's the opposite of what actually made us

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exzeptional in any way, which was those constitutional principles and human rights that underpinned all of the documents that created it, that sort of enlightenment era.

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Maria, ich muss dir sagen, ich liebe dich so sehr. Ich liebe es, mit dir zu sprechen. Du bist so klug. Du siehst so viele verschiedene Dinge, aber du behältst einfach dieses unglaubliche Geist und Energie, die ich nicht helfen kann, aber inspiriert und ausfüllen kann. Und ich tue, du weißt, es ist lustig, auch wenn du Dinge auslässt, dass ich denke, oh Gott, das ist schmerzhaft und schmerzhaft.

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Ich stelle immer noch You give me great strength and hope. You really do. And I so appreciate it. And appreciate you coming on and talking to us early in the morning.

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My pleasure.

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Maria Ressa, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Rappler CEO, Columbia University. Professor and just all around shining light. Thank you so much for joining us, Maria, and I hope to talk to you again soon. Wow. I'm telling you, man, she is, that is just...

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I want to say Sunny D, just a glass of like, I talked to Maria and I just feel like, yes, yes, she's like the best Peloton instructor for reinvigorating the idea of shared reality and that being the secret to reality. reconstituting an effective ground up infrastructure for fighting this illiberalizing of our world and the inshittification that we find ourselves in. Maria Ressa, fantastic.

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That is our show. There is no show next week. We will be back the week after. But so appreciate all those who continue to Listen to the podcast and watch it and those other things. I hope if you get a chance, please check out Maria's books. Boy, she lays out beautifully that this is all a strategy, that it is purposeful,

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dass es gestaltet wird und das Ergebnis, das wir erleben, ist das Ergebnis, das von diesem Design verdient worden ist. Und wenn es gestaltet wird, dann kann es gespielt werden. Und deshalb bin ich einfach sehr dankbar für sie, dass sie heute mitgekommen ist. Und ich freue mich wirklich darauf.

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Wie immer, Lead Producer Lauren Walker, Producer Brittany Mehmetovic, Video Editor und Engineer Rob Vitola, Audio Editor and Engineer Nicole Boyce, Researcher and Associate Producer Jillian Speer and as always our Executive Producers Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Thanks so much for listening and we'll see you guys next time. Bye-bye. The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central Podcast.

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Was Duterte a sort of political alignment, a frontrunner of I hate to call it a new world order, but that idea of these illiberal democracies with constitutions being run by unitary executives, is that how the world is carved up in this new order?

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It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions. Hey, Leute, ich möchte nur sagen, dass eure Gebeten beantwortet worden sind. Erinnerst du dich, dass alle in L.A. sind? Ich war tatsächlich glücklich genug, daran zu teilnehmen. Es ist zurück. Alle sind live mit John Mulaney. Kommt wieder zu Netflix. Mulaney, der so lustig ist.

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und groß, das ist das Teil, für das ich mich nicht wirklich kümmere, das große Teil, aber es ist so lustig, wenn du es noch nie gesehen hast, ist es nur das, was ich glaube, kreativ und spontan ist, der Gast, der Fan ruft an, es gab ein Roboter-Ding, das mich das letzte Mal verdammt erschreckt hat, du weißt einfach nicht, was passieren wird, wenn du etwas willst, das du noch nie gesehen hast, ein Fresh Take auf Late Night Talk.

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And listen, who knows stale late-night talk better than me, the man who invented it? This is your show. Check it out. It's fantastic. Tune in weekly at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Everybody's live with John Mulaney, now playing only on Netflix.

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and tall that's the part i don't really care for the tall part but so funny if you've never seen it it's just the most i think creative and and spontaneous the guests the fan calls in there was a robot thing that scared the hell out of me the last time you just don't know what's going to happen if you want something you haven't seen before a fresh take on late night talk

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Richtig. Zu den Siegern gehen die Spuren, auf eine gewisse Art, richtig.

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Right, right, right. Right? No, I, yeah, I see what you're saying.

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We're in this geopolitical realpolitik. You're talking about how the erosion of democracy and then to throw in a Delhi reference, I think, just threw me off for a second.

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See, there you go. That's all you need. It's so, you know, the Philippines is such an interesting country.

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example in my mind because you're right there was a volatility always for the philippines between sort of when it became a constitutional democracy but also you you lived under martial law under under marcos for so long yeah which you know again it's that idea of like right now i mean trump is not a super popular president this is not reagan

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But he has democratic, he was elected democratically and right now he has a reasonable approval rating that you would not think, oh, the American people have rejected this pivot in large measure. I don't think they have. And so I wonder when you watch that happen, what is the response? Von der Opposition. Ich weiß nicht, ob du es letzte Nacht gesehen hast.

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Die Opposition sah aus, als ob sie Paddeln mit Worten auf sie hielt. Oder sie hatte ein Krayon und schrieb, das ist nicht normal. Und du denkst dir, das sieht aus wie ein ad hoc Highschool Theatergruppe. They're going to show the principal of the school that they want their chocolate milk at lunch back. It seems utterly in disarray.

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And listen, who knows stale late night talk better than me? The man who invented it. This is your show. Check it out. It's fantastic. Tune in weekly at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Everybody's live with John Mulaney. Now playing only on Netflix. Hey everybody, welcome once again to the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. I will be your host. We are coming to you... What day is today?

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And you're talking about, there was a resolution in the United Nations that suggested, you know, it's the three-year anniversary of the war in Ukraine. And it suggested, perhaps countries shouldn't invade other countries that are sovereign. And as you said, kind of rule one, it was commandment number one at the United Nations, why it was formed.

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And just to give the context of what Maria is talking about, it was a... The most basic of resolutions and the United Nations, they're not necessarily, they're certainly not binding. They don't really have any power, but there's a symbolic nature to suggesting that territory is sacrosanct and you shouldn't do it for no apparent reason.

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And then go ahead, Maria, you can talk about like how that vote went down.

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We flipped teams. It was. Maria, man, I couldn't agree with you more. I actually thought, and it China abstained. Yeah, they abstained. Even China and Iran abstained.

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Even China and Iran were not willing to go like, oh yeah, no, you can invade people, that's cool. Israel voted, I mean, does that give you a hint of what this new illiberal lineup looks like? Are we trying to figure out now who are the allied powers and who are the Axis powers? I obviously don't think it's as simple as that. I don't think the United States is suddenly now...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Make Authoritarianism Great Again? with Maria Ressa

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In that and, you know, right now it's getting a little dark, but we'll talk about some of the institutional, structural, geographical things that are positive and optimistic for the United States moving forward. And there are some, you know, I don't want to. Sie machen es so, als wäre es unerlässlich, und wir gehen nur darauf hin.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Make Authoritarianism Great Again? with Maria Ressa

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Aber die Philippinen sind so interessant, denn ihr seid ein freier Agent. Ja. Ihr wart mit den Vereinigten Staaten, dann fliegt ihr nach Russland, China, und ihr seid strategisch so wichtig.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Hey, folks, I just want to let you know your prayers have been answered. You remember, everybody's in L.A. I actually was lucky enough to participate in it. It's back. Everybody's live with John Mulaney. Coming to Netflix again. Mulaney, who's just so funny.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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By the time this gets to your Sony Walkman, as you're listening to it, people still use those. Is that correct? Is that still the divisive choice for the young people? The Sony Discman, Walkman? I don't know what will be happening. Everything I am saying to you right now could in fact be moot. Here's what I would imagine that the war with Canada is entering its It's third day.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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So I think that's a fabulous way of sort of laying out the task at hand. And it's a big one. I mean, let's not kid ourselves. It's a difficult one. I wonder if, in your mind, when you're down there with the Democratic Party, Do they understand that their role in creating that world? So like we talk about NAFTA and through the Clinton, you laid out very nicely these different eras.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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There was sort of HW and then Clinton and Bush and then Obama. But things like NAFTA, things like allowing the sort of trickle down policies to continue through deregulation. do they understand that maybe even the way that Democrats want to help people access these good things, they have to rethink how government delivers those services.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Let's talk about a specific example, which is the ACA, you brought it up, which I think is really interesting. It has gotten, I don't know how many millions of people health insurance, but the way that it's done it is sort of a, a republicanized, almost like a privatization. It's kind of, if you will, a subsidy to the insurance companies.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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A promise that like, look, if you take people with pre-existing conditions, we'll give you from the government $500 a month to subsidize these plans that we will have access to, but we're not going to fix what's at the heart of our healthcare system, and we're not going to fix what's at the heart of our insurance system.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Our targeted smart bombs at their syrup factories have been effective. It has limited hopefully civilian casualties and spread an air of fear and delicious smelling maple all throughout the land. The border is in fact packed, I would think, with Americans fleeing towards Canada and Canadians standing there pushing us back, trying not to let us get in there and fuck up their lower rents than ours.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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So those two frustrations still exist, and they get compounded by the overwhelming cost of this program. Are the Democrats not thinking big enough? to change the relationship between, you know, this whole idea of having to fight to lower insulin costs as though that's like, you know, oh, we got 10 drugs that we can now negotiate with.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Like, don't they have to be clearer, stronger, and change that relationship to get government to deliver these services directly and effectively?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Right. I think that's kind of my point is the ACA has done some really great things for people, but doesn't it reinforce – an existing corrupt system. Because if you think about the Republican strategy, right, the Republican strategy is I'm going to get rid of abortion in America and I'm going to work for 50 years. And if we can't make it illegal, we'll make it impossible.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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But we are relentlessly focused on this goal, which is to make it illegal. And they're going to take the court track. They're going to take the, okay, if you're going to provide that care, you need to have an anesthesiologist and you need to, they'll make it impossible financially for places that, that want to accomplish that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I think Democrats may be, my point is, are they too comfortable within a system that seems not to be delivering? And do we need a to take an approach that is more clear and direct to say to people like, if healthcare is a right, I'm not sure that the ACA is the most efficient way of delivering that right?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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My point is, in your perfect world, would you say this system, first of all, we don't need to tie health care to your job. That limits people's liberty and freedom. And we don't need to give subsidies to an insurance company. It's almost like what Trump understands is I can use the government to bully, right? I wonder if Democrats can take that message and say, oh, right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Why aren't we playing by that same rule? If we were redesigning the system, is this the way we would design it? And if not, then how do we take a hard line to get that system to deliver?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Which is crazy.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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and tall that's the part i don't really care for the tall part but so funny if you've never seen it it's just the most i think creative and and spontaneous the guests the fan calls in there was a robot thing that scared the hell out of me the last time you just don't know what's going to happen if you want something you haven't seen before a fresh take on late night talk

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I've not seen actually anything like this. The chaos of launching tariff wars in the morning, calling them off by afternoon and claiming victory as though somehow in the intervening six to eight hours of bluster, the countries that you had challenged had fallen to their knees in prayer. No, dear Lord. not our wheat, not our lumber. We'll do whatever you say.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Does this change the way that you look at the presidency, what's happening right now? Like, do you think in your mind now – Well, the next time we're fortunate enough to create a message that resonates enough with the American people and we get a Democratic president there.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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First, day one, executive order number one, the government negotiates drug price deals with the drug companies, benefit managers out of the game. Like we're going to attack this much more directly. We are not going to the din of all the lobbyists of all these different industries, we're cutting that out and we're making this much cleaner to the way that we want to operate.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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It is. I would admit that. So you had an emergency meeting with the caucus. Yes. That's right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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But they said they only rescinded the memo. The freeze is still in place, or is that incorrect?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Oh, so that's the USAID. And that wasn't – is that even the president or is that Vice President Musk? Is he the one who – Who froze USAID?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And we're back. What recourse is there other than outrage? I think the frustrating thing for a lot of people watching at home is at this point, the recourse seems to be, let's put Chuck Schumer on television to give as non-dramatic a reading as he can of the outrage. What is the real recourse? Can there be temporary injunctions? Is there a Congress? Have the Republicans just decided

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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We're just going to give it all to the executive and we no longer have the power of appropriation. We're just going to go along with all of this. What is the recourse for an opposition party that doesn't control the House, the Senate, the executive or the judiciary?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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It is obviously the strategy of create chaos, act like you've solved the chaos by calling down the chaos when you realize the American public is turning against your chaos and then claim victory and expect to be praised for it. It is very reminiscent of, it's something my dog used to try to pull. The dog, I can recall, he used to vomit

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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That doesn't portend well. Anything that relates back to it's the last time that happens is the Great Depression. That's not a good sign.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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uh on the rug and i apologize to any of you who are listening to this podcast in a cafe uh but the dog would would vomit on the rug and then he would eat it and then he would look up at me like huh how about that i just cleaned up for you how about a treat and i'm like but you fucking threw up that's you you did that you don't get a treat and so that is my plea to the american people

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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the trump administration vomits on the carpet of our great nation and then uh the metaphor is about to break up but and then eats the i think i think i've made myself understood uh and i cannot think of a really a worse lead-in to the very respectable guest that we have on our program today.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Thank you. Thank you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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So I'm just going to get to that and hope that you don't remember any of this, that there is a neuralyzer that just went off for you. But we are delighted to be speaking with a gentleman today who is in the center of the storm who is trying to find a way to hold back those things that will be corrosive and corrupting to this American experiment. So let us get to the guest now.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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It's almost a vision of a law and order progressivism, if that makes sense. That this, you know, for too long, I think people thought progressivism or liberal values meant permissiveness or a lack of common sense within, you know, even I, you know, when I think about deportation and they're saying like, oh, we have criminals here.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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who are here, they don't have the documentation and they are criminals and we haven't deported them. And you think, well, isn't that the law? Why wouldn't we do that? Is there an understanding now that people in impoverished communities, like if you don't feel safe, if you don't feel secure, everything builds from that. Investment, the ability to...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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you know, feel that your life will be your life? Is that a new direction for the left?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Do you think that's part of what people lost confidence in that they looked at the Democrats as being not common sense with that value of safety and security? They kind of looked at some of these

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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you know different rulings that were being passed down that were letting people back out on the streets when you would look at 17 uh arrests or you know uh undocumented people that had committed crimes that are still here and still committing crimes you know is that was that a missed opportunity that the democrats didn't because the way you're describing it feels different than the way it had been executed over these past i don't know how many years yeah i definitely think that

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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All right, so we're very excited today. We are pleased to be joined by House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries, representing New York's eighth congressional district since 2013. Brooklyn, sir, how are you? Good. It's great to be with you. It's very nice to see you, sir. How are you holding up? It's, I assume...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Yeah, he's VA secretary now.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I'll go you one further along the lines of that absurdity, but a party of law and order that continues to basically allow our streets to be flooded with illegal weapons. I mean, you've got Mexico. Here's how bad it gets. You've got Mexico fighting cartels going, yeah, we'll try and stop fentanyl from coming into your country. Could you try and stop weapons from coming into ours? Yeah.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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So I agree with you completely. I love that idea. It's a difficult needle to thread, but that idea is nuanced. We must control the border, but we can do it in a way that doesn't demonize those But it feels like in this country, we're still lacking the conversation around immigration or safety.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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It's the conversations it seems we can't find our way to have, which is what is the level of immigration that we as a country want and can handle? What is the level of resource guarding that may happen amongst communities? Because you hear it all the time. I'm having a struggle. And why are we sending money to Ukraine?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And why are we giving undocumented people access to, you know, some of it reasonable, some of it an absolute exaggeration of what's actually happening and chewing gum and walking at the same time. But those conversations are never litigated in the face of, you know, real demagogue. And that's, and that's kind of what you're up against now. Are you able to have those conversations privately?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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For me, even just doing a television show about what's happening in Washington, it is utterly chaotic. So I can't even imagine being down there right now. How often does your phone ring or your Blackberry ding or whatever it is, however the communications are happening down there? where there is another five alarm fire, reversal of policy, trade war on, trade war off?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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When I say privately, I mean, in the chambers, that broader conversation of, do we want to talk about what is the level of immigration that makes sense for a country of our size that continues to want to grow, but also wants to remind people that, that, We are not abdicating that basic principle of safety.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Leader Jeffries, I can see why you guys are screwed because nuance. You're bringing nuance to these conversations. Now I see why this is also difficult.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries, I thank you so much, sir, for taking the time to spend with us. I want to tell you, just as a Nick fan, Good luck out there at the Park Place Center, because my guess is you're going to get the top pick in the draft, and then you're going to be able to turn this thing around as well.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And if you've still got hope there, well, then this country still has hope as well, sir.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Boom! That's what I'm talking about, sir. And that is the bold leadership that we in this nation need. Knicks Nation, baby.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Yeah. Thank you, sir. Leader Jeffries, thanks for coming on and spending the time. Really appreciate it. All the best. Speaker Jeffries. Did I say speaker? I meant leader. You know, you get so confused of the titles. If you're in the minority, you're still leader. And if he gets into the majority, then he's speaker. I have to tell you, and maybe this is the design of the system.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And by the way, we're being joined by, obviously, Jillian Spear, Lauren Walker, Brittany Mamedovic, our illustrious production team that kicks ass every week. I got to tell you, I feel like leader is a title that is better than speaker. Speaker feels like you have the speaking clam or speaking shell, whatever it is. Leader feels... More imperial.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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See? Follow the speaker? No.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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That's right. Let me ask you, let me put it to the focus group. Did you come away feeling more confident in their ability to put up a unified and effective front or less confident? Let's start with Jillian.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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What's the pace going on down there?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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You should have jumped in, man.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I'm surprised it's a text and not a handwritten letter from the Carville era. I'm surprised it's not a Civil War missive.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Dearest Jillian. Yeah. But I find that interesting. And maybe that's the point is, And I was trying to gently work my way around that idea of like, access to a broken system is still a fucking broken system.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Are we going to change the system? Lauren, more confident, less confident?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Brutal takedown.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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There is a disagreement. In that particular Democratic infighting, I've really got to go with Leader Jeffrey Sear because I don't know of a baseball strategy where you would go up to the plate and someone would say, you got to swing at every pitch and still have a job within any kind of professional baseball organization.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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We're going inside. Brittany, did you feel good? Did you come out of it?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I've got to try and get out of the... that feeling of relitigating the past so much. I think I find myself falling into that in a way, like when he says like law and order and things like that, and you're like, right. So maybe we should have done more at the border. Or when he would say something like, we need to show them we're on their side.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And you're like, yeah, we should have probably done that 20 years ago in a way that was much cleaner and effective. Like, So it's very hard for me to get out of that mindset, especially when the way forward still seems so lacking in specificity.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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because that's where they're getting their asses kicked. I feel like there is, it's, let's continue the sports metaphors. There is a football team that has a playbook and there is another team that is, they are a playground team. They're like, what if we all just go long? Like they don't have the infrastructure and playbook to counter effectively the specificity of what's coming at them.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And I really hope that that changes and can change quickly. And it can, if there is some sense of leadership and unity and vision.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Well, right now it's the two competing visions between swing at everything and don't swing at everything. And then they're going to move from there. Once that is litigated, whether or not to take every pitch or swing at every pitch, then we can begin to move on to the other things. But I was pleased that I was nervous that it would be all politics speech and no real, real.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And I didn't feel that to the same extent. So I felt, you know, I felt positive about that. How are the viewers feeling? What do we got on all that?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Viewers, listeners, do we call them viewers or listeners?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Whoa, you just blew my mind. Lauren Walker coming in with, that's some Zen shit right there. They are both. The Heisenberg principle of podcasting. What do we got?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Yes, it is. The narcissism of their leader can be used, I think, against him. There is still that feeling of wanting to be loved and important. And I think that can be used against him. But I would take issue with shaming, fact-checking, and what was the other one? Shaming, fact-checking?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And ridiculing. Ridiculing, probably so. But shaming... if they feel that the shaming is sustained, will not go away, has stamina and some semblance of public acceptance and appeal, I do think it'll be effective.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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As we saw, I think with the tariff war, like all it took was six hours of the Dow to have them go like, Oh yeah, let's just fucking save face and claim victory and we'll be done with this. So I, you know, I think we're in there. I think it can be done. But by the way, that's the least that can be done. What needs to be done is what we talked about earlier.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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And listen, who knows stale late night talk better than me, the man who invented it? This is your show. Check it out. It's fantastic. Tune in weekly at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Everybody's live with John Mulaney, now playing only on Netflix. Hello, everybody. Welcome once again to the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. I will be your host for the day. We are recording this.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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It's an excellent question, Brittany. They're not playing it this year.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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That's right. Apparently what they've decided to do because of lack of interest is it's going to be a Kendrick Lamar concert. And they're just going to play Not Like Us 10 times.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Dre is just going to walk in and go, I see dead people. And they're just going to hit it 10 times over and over again. And then we're just going to see just – what Pepsi's going to do this year. And then we're all going to go home because from what I've heard is if the Eagles win, they will not be awarded the trophy because that just can't happen. That just, I want, here's what I want.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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I want Saquon to have a really good game. I want him to be great. And I want the Eagles to lose. And that's just because they have to.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Now that, okay. So I thought we were friends. So I, months ago, I had made a bet on Jalen Brunson's podcast that he said if the Giants beat the Eagles in the regular season, that I had to come to Madison Square Garden in a Saquon Barkley Eagles jersey.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Now, for those of you at home and in this podcast who know anything about football, you are saying to yourself, that's the dumbest fucking bet I've ever heard in my life.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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That's awful. That's a terrible bet. In fact, Nate said to me, my son, Nate,

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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said to me he goes why would you bet that they they had they're they're like they were three and you knew they were gonna suck you knew the eagles were great you knew they added the best running back in the league like why would you ever accept that bet and i was like it was on stage he sprung it on me i didn't know what to do he goes why didn't you bet him that the giants would have a better draft pick than the something that you had or that they would score at all or that they right

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Get some points. Do a prop bet. Do something. So I lost. He called me out on it. And so this weekend was the weekend that I went with Nate in our Saquon Barkley Eagles jerseys. And I added an extra touch of humiliation, an Eagles bucket hat. in the hopes that I could maybe hide myself.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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When we were shown on the Jumbotron in Madison Square Garden on the big screen, I was booed in a way that New Yorkers, like, I feel like Bin Laden wouldn't have gotten booed like that. Like even in New York, like I got hit with a wave of boos

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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like i i think i shrunk maybe five we got to the point where nate as we're walking out just kept turning to people and going we don't like them it was a bad we don't actually like them we we paid it off man i for at one point he says to somebody i didn't want to he forced me

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Right. Because it does seem, and look, What we're seeing now is the execution of a plan that has been in development, I would imagine, for 60 years, maybe longer. It seems like there's three pivot points that the Republicans want to kind of redefine America's relationship with government. The first one's probably the biggest one, I would say, is the New Deal.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Confronting the Chaos with Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY)

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Oh, oh, if I had to pick a winner?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Brittany, I think the American – I think, to be honest, I do think the Eagles are going to win. I think they are. They've shown themselves to be a better, more balanced team this year. I know you never want to discount Mahomes and Andy Reid and Kelsey and their defense. And he does – Mahomes has better weapons now than he had at the beginning of the season, but –

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it's hard to pick against the Eagles the way they're playing right now. I mean, they, brutal, brutal. We'll see. But what are the, how do they keep in touch with us? What are the socials? How do we?

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Fantastic. My friends, always a pleasure to see you. As always, lead producer, Lauren Walker, producer, Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer, Rob Vitolo, audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce, researcher and associate producer, Jillian Spear, executive producers, as always, Chris McShane and Katie Gray. Fantastic, man. Thanks very much. Join us again next week and we'll see you then.

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Bye-bye. The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

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They've been kind of after that for quite some time. Do you see that as this initiative as part of a plan to redefine, to repeal the New Deal, to redefine the Civil Rights Act, to redefine the Immigration and Naturalization Act? Boy, they have a strategy. They got a book, Project 2025. They've been working on that with think tanks and everything else.

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Are you seeing them executing it as a particular strategy? very pointed strategy?

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Do you think, I always wonder if the idea for them is privatize, privatize, privatize. Their position is government can't do anything right. As though if we leave it to corporate interest, Well, they'll act on behalf of the American people because, you know, corporations are people and they're lovely and they're good neighbors. Is everything moving towards privatization?

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Is that their goal for all of these programs?

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I'll tell you that. So that feels like the nugget, the core of all of this. You know, if we're really looking back and we're thinking, you know, and we're hearing now the, you know, there's a new DNC chair and the Democrats are really going to reflect on what went wrong.

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But if I'm thinking about the difficulty with the Trump era is I think a lot of the diagnoses that he puts out there resonate with people. You know, government is not responsive to your needs. I think that really resonates with people because I think people do feel that.

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It is February 4th. It is a beautiful Tuesday. I'm going to say morning. It is sort of morning-ish. It is fucking freezing here. And the news is moving in a manner that I have not quite seen it move in quite some time. The deluge is very much that Maxell commercial where you're sitting on the chair and it's just blowing past you. I don't know.

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And for all that the Democrats kind of talk about working people and all those different things, I think they've lost the thread in some ways, certainly in Washington, about tying government effort to the reality of people's lives. right? My experience down there has been that, that it's a really insulated place. It's overly lobbied. It's very hard to kind of understand.

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It's very hard to understand how these programs are addressing real value. It's sort of the money spent versus the value, the efficacy of it. But I'm surprised the Democrats don't have that book right? They don't, where is the Democrats project 2025? Is that underway? Everything you're saying feels right to me. The Democrats have to make this point. Where's the infrastructure to do that?

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And who are the leaders taking charge of that effort? Because when I listened to, I believe his name is Ken Martin. Is that correct? The new DNC chair? That's right. That's right. He kept saying it's a messaging issue. As though, no, everything's going right, you just don't realize it yet. As opposed to, we've gotten away from New Deal values. Does that make sense to you?

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And I think it in some ways amplifies the thing I'm trying to get at, which is you just said it's a decades long march. Where have the Democrats been over those decades? Like if I'm living in an area of entrenched economic pain, right? And I've got a party saying, we've got to understand what you're going through and we've got to do something. At a certain point, those are just platitudes.

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You know, you've got Trump out there going, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to deport these people. Trans people, they're the ones that are causing your problem. These people are going. Everything is specific and clear. pointed and planned, right? Where is that? Like what's the playbook to express in specifics the very thing you just said? For decades, this has been going on.

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where there's a disconnect between the pain of the people and the power and actions of the government.

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We need to find all these people falling off of cruise ships.

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What? Ozempic is going to end this entire thing. No one's going to fall off anymore.

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I am learning dynamics about this that I had no idea of.

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Well, the cruise ship then is the perfect vehicle for that because it's an all you can eat buffet for weeks and weeks.

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But to see Cory Booker up there, and again, forget about his verbal abilities because they are massive. The ability to stand and speak, even if you've got some preparation and even if you're just reading it off a list, my God, you could read War and Peace and it wouldn't take you that long.

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Okay. We're going to take a quick break. We shall be right back. We're back. I wonder too, if it's the type of situation where government is very high, because in some respects, have you ever seen those videos where an incredibly angry and frustrated traveler is just screaming at somebody who is manning the Southwest Airlines counter?

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And it's all about, and it's how dare you route these planes and don't you understand? And the person is just looking at them like, I don't know if you know this, but I have not designed. And in some respects, as you said earlier, these are individuals who are doing what they have been tasked to do through congressional action.

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But rather than place the onus on what the Congress has put into place, It's this faceless, dark group of lazy, entitled, sucking off the teat of the taxpayer's largesse. And what it ultimately turns out to be is political appointees are more likely to be in that category than the people who are in the rank and file. Oh, yes.

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No question.

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The inspector general will be on top of it in terms of tracking where that money went, et cetera, et cetera.

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When we used to have inspector general.

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inside the federal government than it was i mean they've made it explicitly legal i think trump one of trump's first orders of business was to say that you can bribe officials now the supreme court has made corruption unless you literally say i'm going to give you money for this exact action right it's not even considered corruption anymore

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I mean, I would say I think that's the strategy. What it appears to me to be is that they've got a much deeper plan about privatization and a sort of a, you know, do you ever remember, did you ever watch the show Peaky Blinders? And I brought this up before.

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For him to be able to oftentimes extemporaneously with I'm sure preparation, still be, forget about being even riveting, just coherent, but maybe the most impressive to me as an older man is the lack of urination. I mean, forget about booking ending it with powerful John Lewis anecdotes.

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It's a fantastic story of these, you know, Birmingham gangsters called the Peaky Blinders in 1920. Yes. But he's got a theory of power, Tommy Shelby, called big fuck small. And the whole idea of government is to create these systems of collective action that can somehow protect minority rights, can protect people that would normally just be at the whim of warlordism.

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And I think they have a theory of power that is much more futile and much more warlord. And what gets in the way of that? Somebody who will diligently study how objects float through water to help people. This is about patronage. It's about changing the way that we act together. It's a much more sinister plan than just pretending that you're going after waste.

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That's right. And creativity and innovation wouldn't be rewarded. It would be that kind of risk-taking. Look, it's similar to the idea, you know, when they talk about Musk, they say, this is the guy that's got to do it.

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But understand that his methodology is, and by the way, for an entrepreneur and an inventor and an innovator, it probably works, but you got to blow up a bunch of rockets before you find the rocket that does right. Well, if you're working for the government and it's a bunch of people that are falling off of things or you're protecting them,

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the ethos isn't a bunch of these people are gonna have to die until we figure it out or to get us to figure it out. It's actually the opposite.

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That's exactly right.

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What do you make of that then? Do they, within the bureaucracy, A, do they feel maligned? Is that something that you found from them? Do they get frustrated within – because the system is – look – it is built in a bit of a Rube Goldberg kind of a way in terms of there are so many checks on waste, fraud, and abuse. It's almost wasteful, fraudulent, and abusive.

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To go 24 hours awake, conscious, which means if you're conscious, look, I'm awakened from dead sleep by urination. Not obviously, I mean, by the urge. And then I go, I don't want to suggest to you that as an older man, I just lie in my bed and piss myself. That is, I'm sure it's coming, but it is not here yet. So just the part of your brain that goes, hey, hey, bladder.

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That part of the system.

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So do they reflect that to you?

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Yes, yes.

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buddy and then you get up and you go but the idea that he could stand there as a conscious human for more than 24 hours because you're not allowed to urinate that's one of the you know there's all these rules you can't sit down uh you can't urinate i don't even know if he's allowed to have like space food i don't even know how they do any of that stuff but more importantly

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And the demonization occurs. What also happens is the expectation of the public for some reason is that government, there has to be perfection. We have the same thing in the criminal justice system. a system that demands anybody who's let out of jail must not recommit, even though the system does nothing to rehabilitate them.

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So we have a system that demands perfection, yet is unable to discern the difference between a real threat and a non-threat. So we're demanding something that is absolutely not possible to achieve.

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Yeah, yeah, please, please.

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Of demanding perfection.

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Well, I'm going to say my mother, but I think that's- There you go.

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Or the opposite, which is, mom, I'm trying as hard as I can. think i wanted a d come on so it's it's it's reciprocal okay it's both ways and this is a wasp jewish thing that's exactly right it goes it goes both ways quick break we'll be right back you And we're back. In fact, my favorite story about that with my mother is, this is a complete tangent and we'll get back to what we're talking about.

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Unfortunately, so she's 91 and she's doing great. Sharp as a tack. Couldn't be, you know, happier about that. But she did get pneumonia about a year ago and was knocked out on her ass. And this is a very strong person, but she unfortunately had to go to the hospital for about five days. Five days, IV drip of a ton of antibiotics.

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Don't think it was dioxalene, but it was whatever it was that they were throwing in there that I'm sure I'll have to thank Heather Stone for. But after five days, I go to get her to pick her up and she's lying out. She's got the oxygen tube and she's completely out of it. And I said, mom, mom, we're going home. I'm here to take you home. And she looks up and she opens her eyes.

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She looks at me and she goes, you look tired. I was just like, oh, it's so hard to, yep, yep, you got me. Meanwhile, I've been up for like five days straight while she's in there.

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I thought what he did was kind of a primal scream of alarm and not in a processed, reactive, shitty, let's all put on a play and hold up placards that have Musk lies on it. I thought he actually put some teeth behind it and I actually thought he put a great deal of thought

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Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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Thank you.

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into it and and i found it moving and uh and that's all i'll say about that and speaking of of moving and and you know in the way that right now government not the political side of it but the bureaucratic side of it the administrative side of it is being demonized Boy, this moment is ripe for somebody to give a more nuanced view of what's actually going on behind the scenes.

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Thank you. Thank you.

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And on this week's podcast, it couldn't be more timely and we couldn't be more fortunate. Our guest today, Michael Lewis. So ladies and gentlemen, I'm so delighted that our guest today can join us. I'm just an enormous fan of his work and I've spoken to him many times over the years.

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His books, too numerous to mention, Moneyball, The Big Short, all these fantastic storytelling yarns that are always on the cusp of exactly the cultural moment that's about to break. Editor and contributor to the New York Times bestselling collection, Who Is Government? The Untold Story of Public Service, Michael Lewis joins us. Michael! John, good to see you.

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Let me ask you a question about, and I think this maybe encapsulates

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a lot of what we're talking about last week on the podcast i'm talking to ezra klein and we're talking about sort of his he's he's written this book called abundance about maybe a new theory of democratic governance you know in terms of regulations getting in the way of us being able to build things abundantly and all that and so he walked me through this uh rural broadband project right it's been a disaster

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A disaster. Billions of dollars. There's a 14-point NOFO, which is a way for them to just even get started on doing it. It's a 14-point bureaucratic process that basically weeds out anybody who might possibly be interested in building rural broadband.

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It's honestly, I was saying to him, it's like if you were told to design a machine that would prevent people from getting rural broadband, this is somewhat of what it would... what it would look like, right? But it gets back to something you said earlier, which I thought was such an important nugget. The fact that we have an issue with rural broadband is a failure of the private markets.

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They're not interested because there's no money there because the distance of these people, it's like when we tried to get electricity to people or water to people, that's not a moneymaker, that's a utility, and it's something that has to get out there. The frustration is Here's this need that the private sector refuses to solve, right?

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The government has this responsibility to come in and lift all boats through the spreading. And they create a process that is the antithesis of fixing the process. And then there are all those people, humble, smart, hardworking, who are tasked with whatever it is that the government muckety mucks come up with, they'll execute and they're given the shit sandwich. Yes. And we all blame them.

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When they had nothing to do with it. So how do you As you look at these systems as the climate scientists that you are, how do we empower those people to help build these systems? Because I know they could do it. I know there's a ton of people within the government right now who could get rural broadband out there effectively and cost effectively and all these other things who are not allowed to.

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I may go down to Times Square today and see soldiers kissing nurses and see the people throwing their hats in the air. Three cheers. for Liberation Day. It's the day that we all remember where Jesus rose from the tomb and raised prices on Honda Civics by $2,000 a car. And I think we all remember how that goes. You know, this is prior to the announcement.

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Michael, how in God's name do you always find yourself on the precipice of the next cultural moment? The Doge crew comes in and they absolutely demonize and destroy the people who work in the bowels of the government, just as you come out with a collection of stories that you've contributed to that actually humanize these faceless bureaucrats. How did this idea arise?

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And they are being demonized for it.

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I was about to say, I've got some bad news for you.

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Because politics, the event horizon on politics is two years. And even within that, the electoral cycles are so often now. And the access to social media, the circadian rhythms of everything have sped up. There is no patience for that. Correct.

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We have not been as bubble vulnerable as maybe we have sometimes in the past.

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So it's sort of like, and then the data is politicized and then you don't, that's right. And then we have nothing. And isn't that kind of what they want?

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I'm going to say yes.

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But not with it. So he's a trust destroying machine for those who might look for more objective or data driven or things. But he engenders. Let me say this. He's a trust destroyer, but a faith creator. Yeah. People have a faith in him. Yeah. That is religious.

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And it's an interesting dichotomy if you think about, you might look at it and I might look at it as, is anybody seeing the emperor has no clothes? And they would look at it and go, nope, that's a beautiful fucking coat.

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Are you saying he's a pump and dump scheme? He's a meme coin.

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Well, ultimately that's why these, you know, populists, like the whole thing is there's sort of this misnotion that, you know, Mussolini, well, at least he made the trains run on time. But the truth is populists actually don't govern in a very good way. They just have to prosecute their scapegoat case until the point where it's, it's, it's sort of becomes absurd. That's right.

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And that's kind of where we are now end up. Let me ask you, because look, anytime something is,

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obtuse and you don't know what it is you can project onto it all of your anger disappointment or other things like with a government bureaucracy but the minute you start to humanize it and individualize it and start to realize a lot of the good that they're doing and the types of people that they are boy invaluable what this book is to me is especially in this moment

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You know, it's, you've pulled the curtain back in Oz and rather than it being a wizard, you're like, oh, those are just really smart engineers that are working. Oh, that's how they make. So that's how the yellow brick road got built.

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Did you anticipate this moment? Give me some backdrop on this.

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So it really was, they were looking for load bearing and they, and they discovered how, and then there was a guy who said, yes, someone had to build the yellow road and how to munchkins flow through currents and how, and where do we find them on the back end? So It's this incredible insight into this.

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And what we find is maybe, because how I always feel, and this is through a lot of sort of experience with the VA system or other things that we've worked on, is that the government sets up an adversarial position to its constituents for fear of being drained of resources, right? It's overly policed. And because of that, everything costs way more than it should and is overly complicated.

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There must be a way to reduce that aspect to see what it would be like if these talented people actually were given the opportunity to do their jobs in the way that they should. Because I think never forget the original premise statement that Michael said earlier, which is government exists to take care of the things private sector won't or can't.

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Someone's done that. I think we've all gone to places where that is not a miracle. That's right. And then when you come back, you think...

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Well, they're looking to get rid of that. I know. I know. Let me ask you, Michael, that brings up an interesting point because you say an existential crisis. You could say COVID was that crisis. There was a moment where it engendered a tremendous amount of trust.

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And then that not only ebbed, almost reversed. And in some ways, we're still dealing with the fallout of institutions that we felt like like the CDC, like the NIH, that we thought overstepped or were being overly critical of outside theories or weren't being honest about any of the negative effects of a vaccine or of a medication. You know, it actually, in that moment, lost trust.

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Well, as an old person, I object to that.

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Oh, when it was mostly younger people who were dying of influenza.

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And could there be a depoliticized commission that could do that anyway? I mean, at this point.

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Right. And isn't that what they say Trump is? They sort of say that because of all this inaction and politicization and bureaucratization, I alone can fix it and we alone will give you that rope. Right.

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I'm not saying it's real. I'm saying that's the populist demagogue mentality.

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I was just about to say that.

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that's something i've had trouble with grappling with for myself because i live in this area it was terrifying the velocity of death the refrigerator trucks people i knew in the health care industry who were i mean basically writing their wills as they went to work and the fear that gripped it

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and i think it was hard for me originally to get out of the headspace of how i felt in this moment to understand how people in other areas who are not feeling it right to that same level of terror might be viewing the remedies differently and it took me a long time to wrap my head around oh you know what they're not being

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callous they're just not experienced you know it's like how i would there's tornadoes ripping through oklahoma and i'm like oh that's tough but like i don't have you know what i mean like i don't have this is exactly right exactly right it's that was a hard lesson for me to learn yes and and to give grace to all those others who weren't experiencing in that way

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And also the mental gymnastics of, look, I remember when this was all happening in New York and when the doctors would get off their shifts and the firehouses would come out and with trucks and people would line up outside of hospitals in mass and applaud the doctors. And then six months later, they'd be out in front of the same hospital with a sign going, stop killing people with vaccines.

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What you must go through in your mind of like, wait, I was a hero who risked my life to go in there. They were clapping for me. And now I'm the enemy who's been withholding ivermectin suppositories just so I could kill people on purpose. And you're like, the mental gymnastics of that were, I'm sure, devastating.

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Right. What would you say is kind of the, you know, when we talk about kind of when you weaken an infrastructure and in some ways, you know, to bring it full circle, we're kind of now talking about the support systems on the ceilings of mines and on cathedrals. They don't collapse right away. No. But the more that you take away those load bearing operations. Right.

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it begins to list and i think in some ways we may not see the results of that for a long long time but it will be because of that and we may misdiagnose it because it's because the time horizon is not right next to it.

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Did you talk about any of that with the folks that do this work in the government? Because it came out before this really... you know, the operation to undercut it was, but do they fear the results of a future where these investments aren't being made or did they not, were they not talking about that?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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you can be sure that the right-wing narrative machine will spring up to tell a story that's a false story about how this had nothing to this that it was all the fault of in-app government workers as of or something but this is why that michael this is why you know you write a lot of books and this is another one of them but this is why the stories that you are telling in my mind are so crucial what you do so well is tell stories

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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And stories is how we interpret the way that we move through life and the dynamics, and it's how we absorb it in a much more accessible way. You know, it's interesting. I think sometimes about what you and I both do. What you do is you go in and you try and illuminate the totality of the picture, right? To paint people three-dimensionally. Comedy is almost the opposite.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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We work in two dimensions almost exclusively. Without stereotypes, I'm not sure I have a career. Like, without reducing people to their, you know, most caricatured traits, how do I deal with a heckler? But... It's such an important thing to be out there because if those stories are told, they can be accessed and they can be used to fuel a more honest narrative about what's happening.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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And it's why I love the things that you write.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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People aren't evil. There's a few of them out there, malevolence. But most people, we're all just, we've got blind spots. We're ignorant of certain things. And any light that you bring to that brings us closer to a more honest accounting of like what you say.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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We may not have the solution, but boy, if you've got an honest accounting, then there's people like Chris Mark and there's other people out there who are smart enough to look at that accounting and create solutions that improve things as they move forward.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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yep totally agree well it's fantastic michael i this this time goes so quickly with you because uh i just i love hearing about your stories and i love uh the way that your mind is working and i really appreciate you uh taking the time i could do this all day but i know you've got to go back and clean your childhood bedroom yes because i'm sure you can't just stay in your house and not make that bed i'm gonna go put the posters back on the wall

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Get that Pink Floyd up there, baby. Dark side of the moon. Get that triangle up there. Michael, thanks so much for taking the time. Michael Lewis, he's got that new book, Who Is Government? It's a New York Times bestselling collection, the untold story of public service and obviously everything else that you do. Thanks so much.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Michael Lewis, I feel badly because he's like the greatest dinner guest of all time. And I got him no food. I got him nothing. I just sat there and enjoyed all these stories. He's just such a wonderfully evocative, specific storyteller, but always with purpose. I just...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Right. What if he did say that, though? If he came on, he's like, it's just these eight people. We scoured the entire government and we found eight people. 2.4 million. Luckily, the first one was... How fucking crazy is it? The first one is like I saw I went alphabetically and then he just comes up with this incredible individual. But I think it's right. Do you guys remember?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I think Steve Hartman still does this. It's a thing where everybody's got a story and he stands by a map and he just throws a dart. And then he goes to the town and then he calls people up. He was doing this back when there were like phone booths and he would like open the yellow pages and call somebody up and whoever would agree to talk with him.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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And then he would sit with them and he would tease out always this incredibly moving, interesting story about this utterly random individual. And this book strikes me as kind of the hero's version of that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Interesting story. Ronald Reagan suffered from balamuthia for most of his life.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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He got it from the monkey that he was in the movie with. I think Bonzo had given him Balamuthia. But he did. I mean, the mining story.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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It's just like... But listen, it's incredibly efficient. If you don't have toilet paper, everybody's pulling a Cory Booker all day. Nobody's going to the bathroom. Nobody's doing anything.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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In the name of efficiency, that's the whole point of it. They're lying about what they're doing. There are improvements to be made in administration and all these other things, but this is not that. This is amputation. This is mutilation. This is none of the things that they purported to be. And the real question is going to be, what is the render time till disaster? Because it will come.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I think what Michael was talking about is we don't know when it's going to come. We don't know when the roof is going to collapse, but it's gonna. And I'm assuming they think they're going to be.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Well, what's bird flu going to do? It's only jumped to cats now. And who's got cats? What's there to worry about? Yeah, the whole thing is fucked. But yeah, I really enjoyed. I've enjoyed, you know, some episodes I don't enjoy as much. I can't really point to many.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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It was that, I think there was like a Harvard economist who was like, I was like, that guy's just a dick. Oh, yeah. But mostly I'm always fascinated. But this one in particular was just incredibly pleasurable. You guys are doing a great job. I got to say. I get to show up here around four pretty drunk.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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It's Liberation Day, baby.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Libations for liberation. Any questions from the audience this week? Anything they want to?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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All right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Oh, I mean, here's the thing. You can't... It all depends. So Severance is two seasons of, I think, 10 each. And I do think you want to keep it relatively tight because it's so dense. They do this show to such detail with so many interesting layers and things that were placed in the first season that pay off. So I would, if you got... What's like 20 episodes, 20 hours?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I would say you got to do that over like a fortnight. So if you've got yourself a fortnight, I'd go Severance. Peaky Blinders, if you want to take a gap year, and roll through, I don't know how many years it was, but the only problem with Peaky Blinders is you will speak Shelby. You will speak Arthur Shelby.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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My wife was ready to throw me out of the house for how often I'd be like, that's right, that's right, that's y'all boy, that's y'all boy, mm-hmm. He's like a cross between the guy from Sling Blade and like a Cockney accent. So I drove people crazy with my Arthur Shelby impression for many years. But you can't go wrong.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Oh, Peaky Blinders is doing a- Peaky Blinders movie.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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They're doing a movie. I can't wait. Such a good show.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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All right. That's mine. What else we got?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Oh, let me tell you something. So here's what's worse. Using a torpedo bat for the tush push.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I got to tell you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I don't mind any of it. Listen, the whole idea of sports is the pitchers have a thing, so now we got to lower the mound. Everybody's always sacrosanct about like, but the bases have to be, you can't make them smaller. And you're like, it's a fucking, they're throwing a ball at each other and trying to hit it with a piece of wood. And you're like, but the piece of wood is...

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Like, I understand, make it fair, keep it on a thing. But there's always, people are always going to be, it's like, how fair is it that everybody's gotten bigger, stronger, and faster? You know, when I was a kid, I actually believed that I could play professional baseball because Bud Harrelson was the shortstop for the New York Mets and he was like 5'8 and 140 pounds and he didn't have to hit.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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And now you got guys like Derek Jeter's out there, like 6'4, Rodriguez, you know, come on.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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It makes what Jose Altuve does. I don't care how many trash cans you bang on to let you know what pitch is coming. If you're 5'6", and you're banging 30 home runs a year, you're a fucking winner in my book. I don't know what's going to happen to either one of those, but I don't have a problem with either.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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I always think that and I forget. It's like when I used to read the financial news and I'd be like, none of this makes sense. But if you asked me like on base percentage of a utility player for the Mets from 1984, I would have it for you like that. It is a different language and you forget not everybody certainly.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Welcome to our country.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Hit them with the socials, Brittany.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Boom. And make sure to watch all my TikTok dances, which as always, go viral because they're awesome. Well, fantastic job again, guys. Boy, Michael Lewis, what a lovely dinner date that turned out to be.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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And as always, I want to thank lead producer, Lauren Walker, producer, Brittany Mamedovic, our video editor and engineer, Rob Vitola, audio editor and engineer, Nicole Boyce, researcher and associate producer extraordinaire, Jillian Speer, executive producers, Chris McShane, Katie Gray. Thank you guys so much. We will see you next week. Bye-bye.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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The weekly show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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So God knows there may not, it may not be tariffs. It may be something else. The unpredictability of all this is probably part of what's driving all the attention to it, which is

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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They won't know where you are.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Hello, everybody. Welcome to the weekly show podcast. My name is Jon Stewart. I will be your weekly show podcast host on this celebratory. We are taping this on Wednesday, April 2nd, as we all know it. Liberation Day. It is Liberation Day, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know how you traditionally celebrate with your families, but Liberation Day was always, always big.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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i would assume donald trump's uh whole plan because god knows the man likes nothing more than a bunch of people not knowing what he's going to do and hanging on his every word and oh he's just so important to all of us meanwhile corey booker i don't know if you guys look i'm not a big performative you know but

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Oh, yeah.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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They were stand-up comedians. I mean, Sarah Vowell and Kamau Bell. I mean, incredible group.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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You were following your own, I'm interested in how Michael Lewis current, how he travels through, because you are, you drift into these areas, right? almost as if they have gravitational force but there is actually no you are following something that you are self-generating but it turns out there is a larger if you step back in the macro

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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there's a larger pattern and I can actually almost trace it through a lot of your books and it has to do with data and systems and analysis and how I feel like you're a climate scientist of

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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humanity in some respects none of them yeah my math teachers from high school would all disagree but it's not but it's a humanistic mapping yeah yeah and almost how it's translating behavior from data in all these different areas

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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I must say, I was quite taken with Cory Booker and especially the idea that he stood up there for 24 hours and broke Strom Thurmond's horrible filibuster record when Strom Thurmond, I guess it was in the late 50s, filibustered the Civil Rights Act because sure, why wouldn't you try and prevent that from ever happening?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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And by the way, they exploit that lazy stereotype. I don't know if they do it consciously, but certainly their strategy is to do that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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Not only are they, and by the way, in this bigotry, those characters are not caricatures. They're actually evil.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Who Is Government? Storytime with Michael Lewis

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What they do is they portray this as these are evil forces working with purpose to subvert America. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Couldn't be further than what it is.

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With Kentucky, do you find that that dynamic comes into play in your negotiations? Like, will you say to them, we don't have the level of regulation and unionization that they have in, let's say, Michigan. So if you come here, you won't have to deal with that.

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Joe Biden. You're right, sir. Joe Biden. Sleepy Joe.

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uh no you're you're you're dead on although he is saying he came out today you know the gdp uh results came out today and they said it's a little funky because so many people tried to uh jump the orders because they were afraid of the tariffs but that we shrunk gdp for the first time in in three years so trump came out with a huge announcement i believe it might have been all caps uh saying this is not my fault this is the overhang from joe biden's i guess what

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growth economy but how does that so let's talk about that you say two big battery plants right so i'm assuming not knowing a whole lot about battery production to be quite honest uh but that that has a rare earth metal component i would guess

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Whatever happened to thank you, your grace? Whatever happened to your honor? You have made our lives so brilliantly wonderful. How do you do it? You know, he's so accustomed. to the just incessant ball polishing. Even his cabinet meetings are not even cabinet meetings. They are just opportunities for flattery.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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The biggest one in the world is in Kentucky?

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Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Well, it's about time. The free ride for Canada is long overdue. You know, that's over, those bastards. I always liken that to, you know, attacking Canada. It's like, you know, when they have those prison stories where somebody goes into the prison yard and they walk up to the one guy, you know, the whole theory is you walk up to the one guy that apparently wasn't a problem at all and punch him.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Like, that's what it seemed like with Canada and the same with Mexico.

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Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Right. Governor, we are discussing now how globalization...

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as as much as it may have industrialized us there is a reality china's real they do manufacturing dumps uh targeted tariffs i think most people would agree uh have some utility but this the way that they are being uh sort of deployed on a whim and you know some people are getting exempted you know they're now talking about in the automobile industry they'll exempt steel and aluminum maybe

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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How do the projects that are happening in Kentucky, how are they affected by that? Are they pulling back from them? Are those able to go forward still?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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How dare you, sir? Look, you're in a state that is a Trump ride or die state. I don't think there's any question about that. Does that news permeate or do they still, is there a cognitive dissonance? Is there a willingness to just say, well, we have to take our medicine because Kentucky was suffering and these tariffs will re-industrialize us? How do they digest all this information?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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How quickly are these changes affecting these areas right now? Is this anticipatory or are you seeing this play out with rapidity?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Well, they're targeting, I mean, bourbon. You talk about Canada, boy. You know, the first thing they did was go, all right, that's it. We're not getting drunk anymore. We're done.

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And when he is presented with anything other than the simplest flattery, the simplest question is then seen as interrogation and the Spanish Inquisition, because it is so against the tongue bath that he is accustomed to, and not only accustomed to, demands and deserves punishment. How dare you, a reporter, come into my office and not immediately fellate? How could you? And there was an exchange.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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I don't understand how you make that giant area. It'd just be one state. You'll get two senators. You'll be fine. You'll be the same as Wyoming. Why not?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Yeah. What does this do, though, to— You know, the state budget, how much is this a sort of a bomb that's dropped in the middle of? I know that states always struggle to balance, you know, services that were provided from the federal. When those get pulled back, somebody's got to pick that up. What is this going to do to Kentucky's budget?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Which are the contracts that they're trying to cut? Is this a Doge situation, or was this something else?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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They're taking the money for future planning of disasters away from you.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Have they closed those regional offices? So the regional offices have started to close?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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What about the flood? Kentucky obviously faced some really tough flooding recently. Have you seen a pullback from FEMA on helping to rebuild those areas, helping to make them more resilient to the flooding? Have you seen those effects as well?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Well, that's making news, man, because that's not, you know, everything we're hearing is they're trying to cut FEMA funding.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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All right. We have to take a quick break and then we shall be back. I don't know if you guys know this, but when you drink alcohol, and I used to drink quite a bit of it, your body kind of breaks down the alcohol, the toxic byproduct that may contribute to feeling a little slow, a little sluggish the next day.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Z-Biotics, the world's first genetically engineered probiotic that is designed to help with exactly this. Z-Biotics, pre-alcohol probiotic, specifically formulate, specifically to help your body process the byproduct of alcohol. Now, for me, the byproduct was generally a sense of shame and embarrassment. But I think they're talking about more biological byproducts.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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The Z-biotic supports your body's natural function and help you feel better the next day. It's certainly not magic. Oh, but wouldn't that be nice? Just a wand. It's not a cure-all, but it's smart science-backed preparation. Drink Z-biotics before you start consuming alcohol. Works while you're enjoying your evening.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Helps the body address the effects of alcohol at the source of it, whether you got work, family, or fitness plans the next day. Z-biotics. Helps you be better prepared. The company stands behind their product. It's 100% money back guarantee. You're not satisfied. They'll refund you. There's no questions asked. What more do you want? What do you want? 200% money back guarantee.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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That's just, now you're just being silly. To try ZBiotics for yourself, go to zbiotics.com slash TWS. Use code TWS. That's in capitals, by the way. 15% off your first order. Zbiotics.com slash TWS. Go TWS. Prepare yourself properly. Support your body. Zbiotics can help. We are back. Now, you mentioned Appalachia before.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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You know, there was the photoshopped picture of Trump holding, I guess, it was a picture of the gentleman that they had photoshopped. It literally said MS-13 on it. And Terry Moran brings it up and Trump says, well, he said MS-13. And Terry Moran says, well, that was, you know, obviously Photoshop. No, it wasn't. And then he tries to move on. Terry Moran keeps going like, anyway, about Ukraine.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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It's such an interesting area because, and I wonder what your thoughts on this. It's been so resistant to the inroads of alleviating that entrenched poverty. And what is it about that area? Because they, you know, Trump will say like, well, we got to bring back coal mining and all those sorts of things and that will revitalize it.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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But those areas have had an entrenched poverty issue for so long in this country. What do you think is about that? Because, you know, the thing about Kentucky is, you know, you can revitalize certain urban areas or you can bring back that battery manufacturing. But that one area, boy, that's a tough one to solve. What do you think it is about that that makes it so difficult?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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So you're helping to bring the infrastructure. You can't get investment into that area unless they feel like they're going to be able to have the transportation necessary. They're going to be able to have the broadband necessary. You wouldn't be able to bring them in.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Right, to relocate.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Right. Are they willing to relocate? It ain't easy to get people to relocate from areas that they wanna be in.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Were you able to streamline regulation to get that? Is that something that you had to go after, changing the environmental regulation, changing different things to get that done quickly?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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No, no, no. Let's go. Let's go back. Why can't you just say I'm right? That to me is the most, it is the epitome of the attitude of this president. Why can't you just walk in here and say I'm fucking right even when I am so objectively wrong that there is photographic evidence of my wrongness? Why can't you just ignore that and blow me?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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No, that's been listen. That's been, I think, the difficulty that certainly the Democratic Party has had, which is, you know, getting the federal government. And that's why I think this is such an interesting discussion between what the federal government does. looks at and what state governments look at because the needs are so different.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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For instance, in Kentucky, you know, you mentioned, well, we moved away from those extraction jobs, fossil fuels and the things that you're right, fueled the industrial revolution, fueled the standard of living that's happening in this country. And then there was the idea of, well, we're going to end all that, but we're going to teach you how to code.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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We're going to teach all the people that did all those extraction jobs. Those don't exist anymore. You don't get to live there anymore. You're just going to learn how to build Facebook. Did people take to that or was that considered they didn't know what to do with it?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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How many coal miners, and I apologize for jumping in, what was the extent of that? How big an employment factor? Because it's not just the coal mine. It's everything around it that is supporting those things.

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And all the small businesses that pop up around that support all of that.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Fixing the trucks.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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Right.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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All right. Yeah. Listen, they're very lovable. So we're discussing right now, the governor, sort of how the economics of creating growth and prosperity in your state differ from the federal level. Now, you have just been elected, I think, what, the head of the Governor's Association for Democrats?

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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36 races. Yeah, just a little pressure. That are going to be going on for the governorships.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

Kentucky on Track? with Gov. Andy Beshear

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Right. I have a feeling, you know, and I'm sure you've thought about you've obviously had your name's been talked about as possible 2028. But it seems like with the Democratic brand in Washington at. chlamydia levels of popularity, the Democratic governors have kind of made a name for themselves.

The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart

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And it's you and Shapiro and Pritzker and Whitmer and people that have had success stories in building out the economies of states and getting things done in a way that I think is a different brand. It's almost as though you're two separate entities of Democrats.

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why and and he has no idea zero about the true effects on the ground for regular people of the absurdity of his actions and the lack of preparation for his trade war and the uncertainty. And he's got Scott Besson out there saying, well, it's a strategic uncertainty. It keeps our opponents off balance. And you're like, actually, it's keeping your allies off balance.

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But what's a lesson that you would say to the Democrats in Washington that you all have learned on the state level? What's a piece of advice that you would give to them?

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What do you attribute that to, or was it a surprise? What have you done to do that?

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Justice-involved population. Now, I don't know that I've heard that one. What is that one? Those are our inmates. Oh, justice-involved population. Do you get those? Does that come in a list from somewhere of here's the new glossary of terms?

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Who is pushing that terminology? Because it's not, you know, I do hear it every now and again, like pregnant people or things. But I don't actually hear it In reality, I don't hear it utilized even on television for the most part. Is that an over-exaggeration of its usage?

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What was the legislation?

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And today, actually, I'm excited for this episode. We're going to get a view from the ground from a governor who is trying very hard to stimulate economic activity in his state, to make sure that his people, as these Medicaid cuts come down, are still being taken care of. And I think it'll be a really interesting look at what the true effects are of the madness of King Donald on the state level.

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Are cultural issues your toughest legislative heights? Because obviously Kentucky, culturally, Very conservative. They've been red for a very long time. Is that where you've had the most difficulty with the legislature? And what's the makeup of the legislature? You know, if it's reflective of 30 percent to to Trump, is there a super majority of Republicans?

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What's the what's the makeup that you're dealing with?

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Did they crush your vetoes? When you vetoed it, did they go back and go, yeah, screw that?

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We are back. You know, you talked earlier about, boy, that we have to really consider our language and speaking in the way that people speak, I would imagine there's no initiatives more popular in a very red state with a super majority of Republicans than anti-DEI or anti-trans or anti-immigrant kinds of legislation, and that they can put those through pretty easily.

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Boy, that's a needle to thread to discuss those things without sounding like a woke intellectual that is trying to do there. How do you convince people in pragmatic terms that DEI isn't about merit? It's about investing, showing people of Appalachia, like you're a community that's been left behind. Investing in you is kind of like DEI.

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It's bringing in communities that have been historically left out of these kinds of things.

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Now, when you look at that, the things that are happening with the tariffs, the doge cuts, they've also cut an awful lot out of, for instance, mining inspections. Which one of those coming down in a practical way to your state is going to create the most difficulty for you? Is it straight up, I'll get less money from the federal government?

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Or is it the practical services that the feds were helping provide, whether it be for, you environmental or safety issues or any of those other things, where are you looking to triage the most?

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Will you have to try and make that up financially to provide them, or does that just go away?

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So let's just, we're gonna get to our guests now, very excited. All right. We're delighted today we are joined by the governor of the great state of Kentucky. Governor Andy Beshear is joined. Governor, how are you, sir?

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Now, are you just are you right now in kind of emergency mode, buckling down to try and, you know, prepare yourselves for is everybody kind of just curling up and preparing for the storm?

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Your attorney general does not want to file the lawsuits.

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So you're suggesting the Justice Department in Kentucky has some independence from the executive.

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Testimony. You're asking for testimony.

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I think that's wise. Witness and testimony.

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And everybody's stepping forward and making their mark. To that end, perhaps even a podcast, they were telling me, you just started a podcast.

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Let me please disabuse you of the notion that that is a get out of this business now. Familiarity breeds contempt. You don't want any part of this.

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That is an exciting time in the Commonwealth. I love the idea of the Commonwealth. You know, I'm from New Jersey. Do you have any idea what we would give to label ourselves a Commonwealth? We never get that kind of respect.

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Now, do you have your constituents sometimes come on and do like a little Zoom with the governor and do different things like that?

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You're going casual. Ask Andy, not ask the governor.

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Get out of this business now. You don't want any money. In the first one, we learned the difference between skippity and fire. Now I'm, let's see. All right. Now I'm already lost. I don't, I'm not sure I know any of that.

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It's only got to be a skippity podcast and then they'll come on and do it for you. That's right. I'm glad about that. And I really appreciate you taking the time. You know, I very much enjoy talking to governors because again, it's so much about the day to day practicality of trying to get these things done. And I think it's so important. We are so focused on the national conversation, right?

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And it's the 24 hour news networks and it's all about the cultural issues. Very rarely do you get a chance to hear about the realities on the ground in a state where you really are locked into your people's needs and what's necessary to care for those. And the more that that story can be told, I really do think the American people writ large will understand better

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what the stakes are for these different changes in policy, what the stakes are in these different changes in the whims of our current mad King, King Donald. And so I appreciate you helping to educate on that.

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No question about that. Governor Andy Beshear, the great state of Kentucky, thank you so much for taking the time and spending it with us. And good luck on your podcast. Thank you, John. Thanks. Wow. So important. I'm so pleased that we got a chance to talk to him.

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I hope it wasn't too in the weeds, but it's so important to see like what the aspects go into about revitalizing economic activity at the state level. And all the unforeseen consequences of the tomfuckery and dickfoolery that is occurring through this administration and the effects of it.

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The guy literally gets two battery factories to come in and help reindustrialize a state that's been deindustrialized. But because of these tariffs, you know, or the plants that get put on hold or the $900 million project to revitalize Churchill Downs, it just gets,

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We can't do it now because of the uncertainty that has been injected into this economy by one man because his brilliance cannot be denied or in any way objected to and certainly by a compliant Congress. And this is what is happening to a state that voted for him by 30 points. Very, very interesting on the ground perspective from Governor Beshear.

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Well, you're the governor of Kentucky. I think you pretty much have to say that. Only governors would know how many commonwealths there are. And I don't know what Jersey is classified as. Well, I was going to curse, but you're a governor, so I'm going to lay off of that. Governor, I want to ask you, you know, I don't, to be perfectly frank, know that much about Kentucky.

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I thought really helpful to get a better understanding of what all this is doing to even the reddest of states. That's all. We're out of time. But once again, thanks to lead producer Lauren Walker, producer Brittany Mamedovic, video editor and engineer Rob Vitolo, audio editor and engineer Nicole Boyce, our researcher and associate producer Jillian Spear, and of course, our executive producer.

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Chris McShane, and Katie Gray. Thank you guys so much for listening, and we will see you again next week. Bye-bye. The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart is a Comedy Central podcast. It's produced by Paramount Audio and Busboy Productions. Paramount Podcasts.

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patriotic B-12 shot in the ass to America that is, oh, wait, that's not what's happening at all. We're a shit show. The economy actually contracted. which President Trump immediately blamed on. The Biden overhang, apparently Biden forcing Trump to levy ridiculous and whimsical tariffs, it was Biden's fault. Damn him. Damn him for doing that as part of the celebration.

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I played a couple of gigs in Lexington a few years back, had a great time. It was beautiful down there. But I am confused. So Trump-Vance, they win Kentucky by 30 points, 35 points, something along those lines. 30 points. You win Kentucky, Democrat, by five points. This is a 35-point swing. Both your senators are Republicans, but very different kinds of Republicans. Rand Paul, obviously-

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a more iconoclastic, libertarian-style politician. Mitch McConnell couldn't be a more insider, horse-trading kind of a... Do you have a sense of what is it about Kentucky that allows for this giant ideological swings in statewide offices?

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So let's dig into that because that's very interesting to me. So you build these plants. Why in your mind do you think you were credited with that? Which I don't mean that in a way of like, why did you get the credit for that? I mean it in the way of Biden administration, Kamala Harris. What was it about their investment in Kentucky or lack thereof?

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or maybe the CHIPS Act or any of those other things that did not break through in any way with Kentuckians. Would Kentuckians be the correct? Kentuckians. Kentuckians, okay. I don't want to say like Kentucky Landers or whatever. I don't want to make the wrong.

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But why is it that they responded to those positive things economically that you had done, definitely had gotten accomplished, but the Democratic administration in Washington got absolutely no grace on that?

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Well, they didn't even have boots, Governor. I'm pretty sure they were wearing hush puppies. They're not even wearing boots. We could have found them some boots.

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Wait, your opponent worked at your law firm?

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I bet he don't work there no more.

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Did you have rural broadband programs that were supposed to come to Kentucky that ended up not coming to Kentucky?

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I don't know if you saw how the president was celebrating the 100 days. He declared he'd be a good pope. What else did he say? Taunted Canada on the eve of their election, causing them to elect the Liberal government over what was going to be a slam dunk. But I think my favorite moment of the 100-day jubilee...

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So let's talk a little bit about the things that are the bottlenecks to getting things done, because certainly the federal bureaucracy is a very different animal than a state-level bureaucracy, and I'm not sure how...

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uh that bureaucracy works in the state of kentucky in new jersey i can tell you it is just a series of small uh mob social clubs new jersey is it's all we are number one in corruption now i think 212 years running but in kentucky were you able to do these battery plants and these other things through legislation? Was it more executive fiat?

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Are these block grants that you're redirecting into certain areas? What were the ways that you were able to execute these varieties of economic stimulus? Everybody's going to stimulate the economy somehow. How did you end up doing it?

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When you say them, you mean the- The company. The company, okay.

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Hello, everybody. My name is Jon Stewart. This is the weekly show podcast, taping it Wednesday, April 30th, year of our Lord 2025. It is, I'm still hung over from the hundred day celebrations that have been sweeping the country. Oh, oh, to celebrate the first hundred days of this gloriously competent and

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Okay, we're going to take a quick break. We shall be back. Guys, I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but getting through the news is, well, what's the word I'm looking for? It sucks. Terrible. It's really hard to figure out.

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But I got to tell you about Ground News, website and app dedicated to helping readers navigate today's headlines with, and these words, I don't know if you, with critical thinking. Media literacy, getting through the headlines with critical thinking. Think of it. Ground News pulls together thousands of news stories from around the world every day.

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Each story organized with, you know, very clear visual breakdowns of what the political bias, the ownership, the reporting differences. It helps you better understand not just the story, what you're reading, but why you're seeing it presented in the way that it is. And it's built around transparency. Ground News doesn't run ads, doesn't run ads. Podcasts don't even do that. What are they thinking?

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They don't use algorithms to customize your news feed. How dare they not try and manipulate you? Their bias ratings come from the averages of three different independent organizations, and it gives you a more balanced and comprehensive view. When you're using Ground News, you can see how many outlets have covered a story, how the coverage is distributed across political spectrums.

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You can scroll through the headlines with the bias labels attached. You don't even have to leave the app. I know you don't want to leave the app, and you don't have to. You can even directly compare how different outlets report the same story. The Blind Spot feed highlights stories that are being underreported by either side of the political spectrum, any side. It gives you a broader, fuller view.

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All you got to do to explore everything Ground News offers, groundnews.com slash Stuart.

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subscribers get 40 off the vantage plan unlocking all the features that's groundnews.com slash stewart when you subscribe you are supporting an independent platform committed to making news more transparent and empowering readers to make informed decisions which oh those are the best kinds of decisions and we are now back

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that is the Trump presidency of the celebration was his interview with Terry Moran of ABC, which is so instructive about the dynamic that Trump would prefer. It was one of those Terry Moran comes in and starts asking him questions and Trump immediately is just like, Well, what are you doing? You're coming in here every time. Fucking question this, question that.

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Can I ask you in terms of, you know, when you're talking about, you're talking to different corporations. So let's, you know, I don't know if it's the battery or it's car makers or things along those lines. Do you need to, there's sort of this idea, globalization was a disaster for de-industrializing the United States.

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companies looked at, oh man, I'd only have to pay these dudes $200 a month versus a union job where I've got to provide all these things. So they all offshore, they all move things out. But even within the United States, that same dynamic also takes place. A union state like Michigan or someplace else may not be competitive