The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Interviews Comedy Legends
Mon, 25 Nov 2024
Jon Stewart can't keep a straight face as he interviews Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald, and Richard Lewis. This roundup of interviews covers NYC tourists on Citi bikes, IBM Watson's stint on Jeopardy!, and Calvin Klein Depends. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What are the challenges of riding a bike in New York City?
I've just been riding my bike. It's been pretty sweet. Riding my bike in New York is amazing, too, because you ride it on the west side bike path. I passed this guy, and all of a sudden he went, where'd it go, fat ass? He's like, yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate.
Do you really ride your bike around the city? Oh, it's wonderful, yeah.
You're a madman. Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around. All of a sudden, people think, no, that couldn't be Mork. No.
Have you seen the new... They have the new, uh, bikes. That you can rent? The city bikes you can rent, but it's people, like, from Belgium that don't know the city, and they don't have helmets, and they're just like... Yeah, they're like, okay, we're going to go out now.
Here we go. And New Yorkers are going, get the... off that bike. But I'm... amazed that no one has been hurt. They're doing wonderfully. There really is this thing that works itself out. All of a sudden you see them and it's like all of a sudden even angels are flying behind them going, please be careful. But it's very sweet. You're right, it is basically Europeans going, how do I get downtown?
Follow the numbers. The numbers get lower, okay. And then where are you at the next stop? Where are you? Brooklyn, welcome. But you're right, no helmets. There should be a little hand that says some sort of safety device. Bubble wrap or something, man. A small, just a little, like, maybe a condom, something fun.
But don't you think for New Yorkers, they're just thinking, like, it's so hard every day not to just go like, you know what I mean?
Well, I ride my bike in L.A., and that's where it really gets kind of crazy. Oh, really? The weird thing is, I've been living in L.A. now because of the show. I don't do very well in L.A. I got stopped by a cop once in L.A., and he gave me a script instead of a ticket. It was like, you went, here, Mr. Williams, how are you? And if you don't like this, please give it to Eddie Murphy.
But riding a bike in L.A. is truly kind of dangerous, because you'll be in... And all of a sudden, they really do... Because everyone's like, you know, they're all talking, they're texting and everything.
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Chapter 2: How does riding in L.A. compare to New York?
And you just have to be like... But you're for real, though. You don't... You take this very seriously. You've done bike treks. Like, you've done, you know, two weeks going across, like, continents and stuff.
No, no, no, I'm not that serious.
Oh, really? I thought, didn't you train with, like, the guy who won the Tour de France, Greg LeMond, or something like that, and, like, rode with him for a little bit?
Yeah, I rode with him one time, and I used to ride with Lance in the old days. Oh, really? Used to ride behind the uniballer. Did you really? You rode with Lance Orson? I rode with him, yeah, once or twice. But he's like, he's so good. He'd be on the phone. He'd be doing all this stuff. He's hands-free.
I'm like, you bastard. Right. But he tears it up. Now, what is this? You're back doing a series. Yes, sir. In L.A. In L.A. Well, why?
It's a job, brother. It's a job, but it was also David E. Kelly. I had a meeting with him.
Oh, well, that guy is unbelievable. He's a tremendous writer.
Sweet guy, sweet, good man, and a wonderful guy to work with. And he's a tough laugh, though. Yeah. He doesn't laugh as much. You do something really funny, and this is all you're getting. You're like, huh. Nothing. Yeah, it's like, you know, it'd be like, ah. That's like a standing ovation for him. But he's a great writer, and I thought, okay, I'll take a shot with you.
Now, is it hard for you with a guy like that?
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Chapter 3: What is the impact of sobriety on creativity?
Well, I think there's a higher power. There's also a lower power. There's the lower power that goes, text that girl and show her pictures of your junk. It's OK. She's not going to share that with anybody. And the same lower power goes, you know, you need this. Come on now. I relapsed.
I was up in Alaska, and all of a sudden, I hadn't been sober for 20 years, and all of a sudden, I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniels and went, ah, that'll be fine. That'll be okay.
The moment I had the first sip, it was like... All of a sudden, it was like, welcome back, ass... A week later, I was walking down the street with, like, ten little bottles of Jack Daniels in my pockets. I sounded like a f***ing wind chime. And I got down so quick. I went right to blackouts. And it's a misnomer. They call it blackouts. It's not. It's like sleepwalking with activities.
That's your brain going, we're going to do stuff you're not going to know. You wake up in a small field going, where am I? Me, me. It's crazy stuff. But I think that's the illusion. And I think you come through it, and you realize, yes, you can create better. You can get back. And the main operative word is fear. And like you said, the fear is there, and you're trying to overcome it with that.
Chapter 4: How did Robin Williams handle his past struggles with addiction?
But if you can deal with the fear and then realize some of it's real, some of it isn't, and then come through that... You get deeper, boss. You get deep, deep, deep.
And the lifestyle is so conducive to that type... Because we are generally bored individuals. Totally. And we're working 40 minutes a night in Winnipeg for two straight weeks.
And there's... No. That is... Don't make them angry. They're Canadians. Let me just say this. Let me just... Let me just say this. You're the nicest country in the world. You're like... You're like a sweet apartment over a meth lab. It's really...
But it is that idea of like, and so during the day, you don't have anything to do with yourself. And you think like, I bet I could make a crack pipe. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, why don't we have a project? That's like, when does your lower voice have activities? It's got hobbies. Like, I'm making a crack pipe. You send it to camp and then see what happens. What do you do?
What do you do? How you doing, pal? I'm doing good. I miss you. I was telling you this backstage. One of the few comics, when I don't hear your comedic voice for all, I miss it. It's so funny, and I'm so glad to see you coming back to TV. Hey, listen, man. I like all your politics. Thank you, Norm. I appreciate that. Now, you're Canadian. Your government has collapsed. It's completely collapsed.
It has? It's completely collapsed.
Well, the good thing is, it doesn't matter at all. This is why. You know, because you're such a political guy, and I realized when I came here, because I was never political, and it's because you're from America, and I'm from Canada, and in America, you have a duty to be political, because you vote for the wrong guy, he blows up the world. Right? Now, in Canada, here's our elections in Canada.
Go, hey, listen, how does that guy stand on the bridge building? That's every time. One guy goes, I think we should build the bridge. The other guy's, I don't care for the bridge. It's all bridge-based politics. They never gave us no red phone. You know, you're president. I thought you were political. No, I didn't realize you had a red one. You don't realize the president has a red phone?
But here's what it's come to be for in America.
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Chapter 5: What are the differences between Canadian and American humor?
Americans... Well, listen, if I was president, man, I'd get on that red phone right away and blow something up. What would you blow up first? What would I blow up? Yeah. That stupid high school I went to for... Empty building, of course. But listen, man, I'll tell you this, though. You know, with the streets of Libya running with blood... Okay, I'll buy your premise. Yeah.
Listen, the Egyptians are so brave, you know, and the guys in Tripoli trying to take over and Bahrain. Here's what I'm trying to get at. I'm from Canada. We got a queen. She lives in England. Right? We're so f***ed, we can't get... Seriously, I can get a bunch of buddies of mine. I swear to God, I can get two or three dozen buddies of mine. We can go over to Buckingham Palace Takeover.
I would totally do that with you.
It's an old bag in a castle. You know what is the most difficult part of that? Finding which room she's in. Do you have any idea? If you go attack her, there's like 130 rooms. We'd probably lose interest before we got to her.
Oh, I see what you mean, yeah. But you know, Qaddafi is surrounded by, what is he surrounded by? Bahrain.
I'm guessing he's surrounded by, like, dancing girls. He's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he's a nutbag.
No, he likes the ladies. That's what I heard. Did you know he has a Ukrainian nurse who apparently is... Well, follows her everywhere.
Yeah, pretends he's a nurse, but I've heard that maybe there's a little hanky-panky going, listen, I don't want a bad-mouthed Gaddafi. I want to talk about Watson the computer. Oh, let's talk about that. I'm happy to talk about that. You know that character? I love that guy. He was on Jeopardy! Crushed. He was on Jeopardy! and he crushed. You guys know Watson the Computer? Sure. Terrific. Yeah.
So, uh, and, uh, I watched it. It was cool. And, uh, the funny thing was, like, they were like, I wonder if, uh, who's gonna win? Watson the Computer? Or, uh, that guy that works down at the hat store. And, uh, First of all, I don't think you should be called Watson, because wasn't Watson the guy who didn't know Sherlock Holmes?
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