As President Trump prepares to address a joint session of congress at the start of his second term, take a look back at The Daily Show's coverage of America's last three presidents' first congressional addresses. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Barack Obama's first address to Congress?
Let's begin with a big story. Last night, President Barack Obama's not State of the Union address. Yes, the President's first speech to a joint session of Congress after being sworn in is not technically a State of the Union address, which is nice because this is probably one year you do not want to complete the sentence, the State of the Union is.
But although times are tough, it's still important to make an entrance.
The President of the United States...
Oh, yeah! Here he comes. How you doing there, brother? Nice to see you, Chip. Nice tie. Oh, damn. What's up, Holmes? Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, it's you. Oh, I see you. Looks like we made it. Left each other on the way.
He noticed me.
Actually, Hillary had given Obama a heads up that she'd be the one wearing the retina-searing coat. Although Obama was greeted warmly, the night's speech was no small task.
Obama's challenge would be to convey to the American public the sobering realities of our current situation while maintaining an optimistic tone for the future, all while desperately, desperately, desperately trying not to turn around for a quick game of whack-a-mole. Interesting fact about Nancy Pelosi, she is one-eighth gopher on her father's side.
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Chapter 2: How did Jon Stewart critique Obama's promises and challenges?
So how did Obama do? We are living through difficult and uncertain times. Our economy is in crisis. We import more oil today than ever before. Credit has stopped flowing. The price of tuition is higher than ever. Half of the students who begin college never finish.
Sobering reality check. And the hope part?
I pledge to cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term in office. This plan will save or create 3.5 million jobs. By 2020, America will once again have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world. We will double this nation's supply of renewable energy in the next three years. Our recovery plan will invest in electronic health records and new technology.
The United States of America will emerge stronger than before. All right.
Hope, there you go. Nice agenda.
Solid, confident, definitely... Health care reform cannot wait. It must not wait, and it will not wait another year.
Okay, easy there, fella. Let's just... Let's keep our feet on the ground here. Let's just... Cure for cancer in our time. What are you, a wizard? Slow down!
What's next? You want the moon?
Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. By 2010, we'll have Cinnabons that make you skinnier. 2012, we'll have a boner pill that gives you a four-hour erection that you don't have to notify your doctor about. Now get out of here, Zuzu. What makes you think this in any way, shape, or form, Mr. President, could happen? This is America.
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Chapter 3: What was the Republican response to Obama's speech?
Good evening, and happy Mardi Gras.
WHAT WAS THAT? WHERE HAVE I SEEN THAT BEFORE? That's right. I saw that in my childhood. But of course, this is the governor of Louisiana. He's not going to talk to us like some besweatered friend of the trolley people.
We place our hope in you, the American people. The way to lead is by empowering you, the American people. I visited Sheriff Harry Lee. He was literally yelling into the phone. Well, I'm the sheriff, and if you don't like it, you can come and arrest me. Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him, too. We believe that Americans can do anything.
Can we have candy for dinner? I believe that I can do anything. I want to be an astronaut that kills and eats firemen.
As a child, I remember going to the grocery store with my dad. Growing up in India, he had seen extreme poverty. As we walked through the aisles, looking at the endless variety on the shelves, he would tell me, Bobby, Americans can do anything. Yeah, we covered that.
Bacon-ays! America can do anything, and I mean anything. Like say, I don't know, the same great taste of bacon and mayonnaise in a bacon-aise light. They actually make a bacon-aise light. Half the fat. It is unbelievable. You know how I like to have bacon-aise light? And I really, I can't resist it. I like to have it with a pancake wrapped in a sausage on a stick.
I choose the blueberry pancake on the sausage on a steak because I'm kind of a health nut. But that's what I like to do. I like to... No, don't make... May I say something to the makers of Bacon A's? I know we've mentioned your product a lot on the show tonight. Don't send us any more of it. I can't even believe it. I think my tongue just took a sh**. Jindal's task was not an easy one.
You see, with Barack Obama making such a compelling case for an active federal government, Jindal had to tell America why he thought that that's a lousy idea. Today in Washington, some are promising that government will rescue us from the economic storms raging all around us. Those of us who lived through Hurricane Katrina, we have our doubts.
So because a Republican administration screwed the pooch, a Democratic administration shouldn't even try? What other lessons did Katrina teach you?
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Chapter 4: How did Trevor Noah react to Trump's first address to Congress?
It all makes sense now. Trump wasn't avoiding condemning those acts. He was just saving it for a special occasion. It's like hate crime lingerie. Because come on, let's be honest, if he condemned hate crimes all the time, we'd be like, it's just not that hot anymore. Oh, and you know how he's been alienating all of our Muslim allies?
That's over too. I directed the Department of Defense to develop a plan to demolish and destroy ISIS. We will work with our allies, including our friends and allies in the Muslim world to extinguish this vile enemy from our planet.
Guys, don't tell me that speech wasn't great. Trump said friends and Muslims in the same sentence. In the same sentence. The only time you'd expect Trump to say Muslims and friends in the same sentence would be if he was like, friends, let's get those Muslims. Or it would be, go bomb those Muslims. I wanna watch Friends. But not with this speech.
I mean, just look at how proud his two dads, Mike Pence and Paul Ryan, were. standing there in their identical outfits. Who wore it better, guys? Be honest. Who wore it better? Wow. Wow. I mean, that's, let's be honest, that's not a fair competition. Paul Ryan would look better than Mike Pence in anything, even Mike Pence's hair. He'd probably, that looks good.
I'm not gonna front, that looks good. It really does. Guys, last night's speech was pretty good. And you know what? If the speech were president, America wouldn't have so much to worry about. Unfortunately, the speech and the man reading the speech have nothing in common. For example, Trump's promise to help black people, or as he calls them, inner cities,
Our neglected inner cities will see a rebirth of hope, safety, and opportunity.
Now, you see, that sounds great. It definitely sounds a lot better for black people than what Trump's attorney general and part-time hobbit Jeff Sessions is actually doing. Because while Trump's playing nice-nice, Sessions has decided to pull back on all federal investigations into police brutality. In fact, Jeff Sessions gives so few about civil rights, he made this decision
without even reading the Justice Department reports on police violence in both Chicago and Ferguson. It's true. He said he knows what they're about because he read the summary, which, I'm sorry, people, is bull . It's like someone saying they hate Waffle House because of the smell when they walk past the restaurant. Shame on you. Eat the food, then throw up like the rest of us.
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Chapter 5: What were the highlights and critiques of Trump's policies according to Trevor Noah?
You don't prejudge people. You just don't do it. All of the things President Trump said don't seem to match up with what he's doing. Take the centerpiece of his economic plan, tax reform.
My economic team is developing historic tax reform. We will provide massive tax relief for the middle class.
Now that sounds amazing, especially if you're a billionaire. Because you see, Trump's actual proposed tax plans won't help the middle class as advertised. Because if you read the fine print, you'll see that the taxes will actually go up for most single parents' households and married couples with three or more children.
And on average, middle class households would get a 2% cut or about a thousand bucks. But meanwhile, the super rich would get a 13% tax cut, more like $200,000. That's people like Warren Buffett. You realize, through tax plans proposed by Trump, Warren Buffett stands to gain $29 billion. $29 billion. Warren Buffett does not need 29 more billion dollars. He's even giving the money away.
He's busy like, I don't want it. Take more, take more. And it's coming back more. This guy's got boomerang cash. Take the money. I was trying to give it away. I was trying to give it away. What are you doing, Trump? How are you gonna give Warren Buffett more money? Warren Buffett needs more money the way a Hemsworth needs more abs. Like, that is not something he needs. Sorry, where was I?
Oh yeah, yeah. If last night was the first time you heard from Donald Trump, first of all, welcome to Earth. You should probably leave. And secondly, you would think, judging by his speech, that his administration would be cleaner than a freshly bleached anus.
We have begun to drain the swamp of government corruption by imposing a five-year ban on lobbying by executive branch officials.
Are you being serious? Trump's cabinet is packed with oil and finance executives. Of course they don't need to lobby anymore. Now they run the government. That's a novel way to deal with the issue. It's like you have a raccoon problem and the animal control solves it by saying, all right, it all worked out. We sold your house to the raccoon. Now you rent from the raccoon. There you go.
Problem solved. Honestly, at some point, at some point it felt like Trump was just straight up trolling us.
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