The Barbie doll was introduced on March 9, 1959. Celebrate her birthday with a look back. Jon Stewart takes a look at the festivities for Barbie's 40th birthday, and uproar over her first tattoo. Desi Lydic takes issue with Barbie's unrealistic professional accomplishment standards. Jon takes a look at an Arabic Barbie release, and the story of a Taiwanese man who married a doll that may or may not contain the reincarnated soul of his late wife. And speaking of souls trapped in dolls, Michael Kosta takes a look at the lucrative world of haunted dolls. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Barbie's 40th birthday?
Belly up to the Barbie. Some of Hollywood's biggest stars turned out to honor a hunk of molded petroleum as Barbie turned 40, making her too old to play the girlfriend and too young to play the mother. Here's Brandi singing the Barbie marching song, Be Anything, with a chorus of future divorcees. She looks just like Moesha. And here's Brandi talking.
Barbie means so much to young little girls, and she's so positive. She's very classy, and I'm just happy to be here, you know, because that's the way, you know, I am.
Yes, that's exactly right, Brandi, because class is all about telling people you're classy. Tell me more about this fabulous woman. You are the best. Happy anniversary. That was Barbie's role model, Dick Clark, who's also made entirely out of age-retardant space-age polymers. Oh, is that a microphone?
I always loved Barbies. We never really had enough money to have a lot of Barbies, but we had a few.
Chapter 2: Why was the tattooed Barbie controversial?
And though Rosie had only a few Barbies, every morning they were forced to sit on the couch and laugh at her jokes for a whole hour. According to Mattel, somewhere in the world, a Barbie doll is sold every two seconds. And every five seconds, a little girl starts to hate the way she looks. Tattooed Barbie outrages parents. Barbie exclaims, I was drunk.
A tattooed version of the Barbie doll called Butterfly Art Barbie has come under fire from parents, prompting Mattel to stop production. The toy giant finally agreed the tattoo spoils the natural purity of Barbie's non-existent mons and 48DD knockers. Mattel says... Mattel says it only included the tattoo at the last minute to cover Barbie's teen C-section scar.
Though butterfly art Barbie is selling well, Mattel has also pushed back the release of iron butterfly art Barbie, which comes in the back of a crumpled van at the bottom of the Malibu Dream Canyon.
The dolls are part of the Generation Girl series of Barbies, which, according to a Mattel spokesman, are cool teenagers who go to an international high school in New York City, which of course means they will all date Nairobi Ken just to annoy their parents.
Today is International Women's Day. And here's how the world's top feminist organization is celebrating.
Mattel is also celebrating International Women's Day with seven new role models. The new Barbie lineup was inspired by the likeness of female leaders in STEM fields from around the world.
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Chapter 3: How is International Women's Day being celebrated by Barbie?
The company hopes the role models, including former YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki and UK space scientist Dr. Maggie Adern and Pocock, will inspire the next generation of girls to pursue their passions, despite women being underrepresented in STEM fields.
This is so important. Kids learn so much from their toys they play with. You want them to have scientist dolls and CEO dolls that can scissor each other. For more on this story, we turn to Desi Lydic. Desi! How's your International Women's Day going?
Chapter 4: What are the challenges of Barbie's professional standards according to Desi Lydic?
Well, thank you for asking. It started out so great. This morning, the random guy who usually yells, nice ass, instead yelled, I respect your nice ass. And this is why we march. So, yeah, I was feeling pretty good. I mean, at least until I saw this Barbie story.
Wait, you don't like these brand-new Barbies? But they're so accomplished. They got scientists, and they got a YouTube CEO.
Oh, yeah, equally great role models. You could be a scientist who helps humanity, or you could design a YouTube algorithm that says, hey, kids, if you like Peppa Pig, you'll love QAnon.
OK, that's fair, but some of them are doctors and engineers, and one of them is a professor.
Yeah, I know. They're all so successful. those Barbies. them all. Yeah, it's bad enough Barbie was always hotter. Now she's smarter than me, too? I want a doll that makes me feel bad about my body, not my mind.
So you're saying we should get rid of these Barbies?
Well, no. I mean, not necessarily. But why can't we also have some mediocre Barbies who don't make us feel pressured? Right? Mediocrity. Not every Barbie has to be a girl boss. Let's have a Barbie who's a paralegal at a mid-sized law firm. Or one who works the lunch shift at a Just Salad. There is nothing wrong with Barbies who are just trying to make it through the day.
But aren't Barbies supposed to be aspirational? No. No, Marlon, they're not. Give me a Barbie who's okay with letting 5,000 emails pile up in her inbox, okay? The Barbie who spilled coffee on her shirt but knows she can still get another day out of it if she puts a blazer on top.
The Barbie who spends her Friday nights in bed binge-watching Vanderpump Rules, dunking carrot sticks into a jar of peanut butter, and letting her kids drive themselves to Taekwondo. For the love of God, stop judging me, Marlon.
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Chapter 5: What is the story behind the Arabic Barbie?
I swear I was not.
I think.
Chapter 6: How did a Taiwanese man end up marrying a Barbie doll?
Desi Lydic, please, everybody.
Arabs get their own Barbie doll. Dreamhouse faces Mecca. If you happen to be in a Kmart in Cairo next year, be sure to look for Layla, an Arab version of the Barbie doll, who will be dressed in modest head-to-toe Islamic attire. A spokesman said that Layla will admire American Barbie for her strength and worldwide dominance, while Barbie will only hang out with Layla for the oil.
Manufacturers insist the dolls are safe, but children clearly state in the warranty that all defects will be blamed on Israel. The Layla doll will be only 10 or 12 years old, still in little girls underclothes and too young for a boyfriend, which is important as she's already been betrothed to 68-year-old spice trader Ken Al-Ghabibi. Huh. Taiwanese man marries actual Barbie doll.
Promises to have and to hold until death or errant space heater placement do they part. Believing it would appease the restless spirit of his dead wife, a Taiwanese man, Shang Shi Shum, married a real plastic and in no way living Barbie doll last Sunday. Religious scholars say according to the tenets of Buddhism, in this life, Chang has been reincarnated as an idiot.
The happy couple enjoyed a lengthy ceremony surrounded by relatives and embarrassed loved ones. many of whom were also present when the groom met his current bride at the factory where he made her. After the wedding, the happy couple drove off to the reception where they will dance as the wedding band plays the standard, I knew the bride when she used to be a lump of unmolded petroleum.
The 46 year old groom had been hoping to remarry ever since his first wife's death over 20 years ago. But Chang never met the right woman until Mattel released the embodiment of my first wife, Barbie.
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Chapter 7: What is the booming market of haunted dolls?
Welcome back to The Daily Show. You know, with the global economy looking shaky, you may be wondering where you can safely invest your money. Well, Michael Kosta has you covered with an opportunity you can't miss.
When you think of successful markets that have thrived during the pandemic while so many others have perished, you think of Zoom, Amazon, sweatpants, and haunted dolls. That's right, haunted dolls are big right now. Now, I'm not usually an occult guy, but to survive in this economy, I'm willing to make a deal with the undead.
But first, I had to find out more about the business, and who better to teach me than Kat Blauers, the number one seller of haunted dolls on eBay.
Be scared of demons, be scared of negative energy. But other than that, if you're interested, you should jump in with both feet.
You are literally in the business of ghosting people. When did you notice that the haunted doll business was skyrocketing and that you are basically the Jeff Bezos of haunted dolls?
I started in 2014 and there was only a few shops. Now there's probably 50, 60 shops for haunted dolls.
How many dolls would you say you've sold in the last year?
Probably 1,000.
There's money in this?
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