Michael Kosta
Appearances
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yeah, that's right, Desi. But Doge has to take a lot of the blame for the backlash. They're not handling these layoffs with enough care and finesse. Let me explain through the use of a visual aid. Let's say this foot represents the federal government. You gotta be gentle, right? You can't go in whole hog. You gotta start the layoffs with a light little peck. You see what I did there, Desi?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
That was me laying off 50 NIH researchers, and you know what? I think they liked it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Exactly. You can't go from zero to 100 like this. See? That is not how you do it. It's too overwhelming, and it puts too much pressure on the workforce.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yeah, you don't want sloppy, Desi. And you can't just focus on the top departments, either. Most of the waste takes place at the lower levels of the government, so you gotta work both. Like, this, this is... This is how you do it. This is how you do it. Absolutely.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Oh, no, I worked at Payless. The point is, you have to pay attention to the whole of the federal government. Then once you've properly covered all the sensitive parts, that's when you bring in the other foot. Oh, my goodness gracious.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Oh, this foot's just a sex thing.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
I can't believe Doge is going around looking for inefficiencies. Meanwhile, Trump has an English-to-English translator.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
I want to ask you about a fake video that was somehow hacked onto the TVs at the Housing and Urban Development offices this morning in DC. It's pretty graphic, so we're not going to show it here on Top Story. It essentially shows the president, again, this was an AI image, kissing Elon Musk's feet.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Look at that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
I mean, some people might have gotten to bed because they turned. He was an old school clunker.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
And, um...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
It's a disgrace, Jordan. I mean, what we have seen today is naked corruption, pure and simple. And the message it sends to the American public is that they cannot trust their leaders to have integrity. I'm sorry to say that tonight I pray for the future of our republic. Yeah! Woo! Yes! Yes!
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
Woo!
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
Hey, when Dr. Bucatini has an opening... You take the appointment. Wait, is she the same Bucatini who does the teeth whitening? Yes, Jordan. Women who whiten teeth can wax anuses at the same time, too, you sexist. Okay. And for the record, Jordan, this is technically work, because we're putting all of this on the Daily Show credit card.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
It's not a felony. We're working. When it comes to my job, I am the utmost professional... And hey, if it is a felony, then I just make a trip to Mar-a-Lago and I tell the gracious Donald Trump to pardon me with his enormous penis.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Welcome back to The Daily Show. We all know I've got great opinions, but I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend Ricky Velez.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I'm Michael Kosta. Donald Trump just wrapped up his joint address to Congress, and we'll have full coverage on that tomorrow. But tonight, Republicans want to start cleaning up chicken shit. Joe Biden crop-dusted the economy on his way out, and relations with Canada are about to get ugly. But first, our ongoing segment, the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Donald Trump has been busy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
In the past couple of days, he's switched sides in the war in Ukraine, announced a national crypto reserve, and dismantled the National Weather Service, because part of the fun of experiencing a Category 5 hurricane is the surprise. Trump's been so busy that I was getting worried he'd forgotten his plan to start a North American trade war. But my boy, he put it on the cow.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
WELCOME BACK TO THE DAILY SHOW. MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN, ACTOR, WRITER, PRODUCER, AND NOW A SINGER-SONGWRITER WITH THEIR DEBUT ALBUM, IMA TV. PLEASE WELCOME MAY MARTIN. Look at that, huh?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Look at that. You're a Canadian.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
So I'm required by law to take 25% off all of my questions.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Perfect. We got it. But maybe both administrations seeing a Canadian and an American shake hands is all they need to see. That was it. We solved it. Yeah, that was a beautiful moment for democracy. Your album is tremendous. Thanks. It's beautiful. Thank you. I was thinking you're a comedian.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You know how to sing. You know how to play instruments. What the is going on? Thanks, thanks.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You have?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
How does a comedian, by the way, Mae is a comedian, but the music, this is real music. This is great music. Thank you. It's not like, oh, it's a comedy music. It's a real music album. I want to make that very clear, and it's great. My family was listening to it. We were listening to it. It's annoying. It's annoying I even have to say that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Right. You know? You're going to do a show from here.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Do you have to make it very clear that jokes will not be told?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I remember starting out doing open mics as a comedian, and I would bomb, and it was so silent. Then I would watch shitty musicians go up, and they would bomb, but there's noise.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
And I was envious of musicians in that regard.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
When you're writing music, are you naturally trying to not find a punchline? You know what I mean?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
What inspired you to make the album now?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
As we established, because we're going to get a Nobel Peace Prize for that beginning where we shook hands. Yeah, exactly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You're welcome for that. You're welcome for us shaking hands. You're welcome for that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Thanks.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Who knows how their albums will be?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
But comedy is vulnerable. I know. But are you telling me that this is more vulnerable to put out music?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Don't hold back. Now, this is where you hit me with the truth. Is making music more vulnerable than pouring your heart out to strangers through spoken word?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Your special, you know, it's fantastic. You're talking about your family, your experiences, your parents. That's so vulnerable and personal.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You can lie. That's what I do. Yeah, man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
And you can't pivot with music.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
One of the songs I love is called Big Bear. I've been to Big Bear near L.A. I got stuck in traffic, but you sing a beautiful song about... To me, it feels... like you're trying to escape something. And then I'm thinking, maybe that's me saying, I want to escape something.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Tell me about what inspired you to write that song and what it means.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, that's right, baby. Trade war. Nobody does war better than USA. USA. USA. That's right. Canada and Mexico are about to feel the pain. And the best part is, it's not going to affect us at all.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I think it's awesome not telling people. Especially now... But you have a family.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
No, no, no. That's not funny. That's why it's so good. Right, right, right. Because I have people that always want to know where I am. Right. So it feels so good. But if I didn't have a family, that was just... It's a lot of pressure to be loved. Man, did you just say what's in my soul?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I'm a TV person.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, what does it mean? It's in one of the songs, Stowaway. I'm just a TV talking to you. You thought I could remember that, but I had to read it just to make sure I got it right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Another example of maybe what we're externalizing is on the inside.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You have TV tattoo. I do. Is that right?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Well, I think I'm pretty... Let's hope that that's public information. Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Is that connected to this?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Man, you bought a tattoo kit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Oh, interesting.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I say aluminum.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
It's funny that you just said, don't buy a tattoo kit. I didn't know that was a thing you could even do. And certainly, don't do it with your partner. Mae Martin, thank you so much for being here. Thanks. It's called I'm a TV. It's available now. And check out tour dates at maemartinmusic.com. Mae Martin, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I'm going to pay $9,000 more for a Kia Sorento? Now I finally get why they say war is hell. So that's what Private Ryan, that's what Saving Private Ryan was all about. Private Ryan was a different movie. Isn't this the opposite of what Trump campaigned on? Raising prices on everything? I'm already buying my eggs and installments with Klarna.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
And the solution that his secretary of agriculture came up with, it's not very helpful.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yes. Great idea. Great idea. In this time of uncertainty, the one thing I need now is a wild animal in my house pecking my dick while I'm trying to make a frittata. Everybody who's not a farmer wants to be. Are you kidding me? Americans don't even go to grocery stores anymore. We just text get Cheerios to strangers on Instacart. But sure, I guess I'll become a small farmer.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
And hey, why stop at chickens? You know, I could grow my own avocados. I could raise my own cows. Wait, why am I buying my steel like a sucker when I could be smelting iron ore in my own bathtub? Either way, prices are about to go up. And I just hope that no one told that to the stock market. The stock market drops for a second day in a row now that President Trump's tariffs are in effect.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
God damn it. Who told that to the stock market? So the stock market is plummeting thanks to the trade war that Donald Trump started. So obviously, well, we know who to blame for that, right?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Damn you, Joe Biden. You were supposed to leave the password to the economy on the White House fridge before you left. If we're going to blame past presidents, why stop at Biden, you know? Jimmy Carter's been awfully quiet lately. How convenient. But I guess rising prices and a tanking stock market, that's just the cost of starting a trade war with your neighbors.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Now, Mexico, they expect it, right? Trump's headed out for them since no one showed up to his quinceanera, but... But why Canada? We've always been tight with Canada. We were both British colonies. We play in the same sports leagues together. We share joint custody of Ryan Gosling. If Trump is gonna launch a trade war with them, I hope he has a good reason, and I'm sure he does, right? Right?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Of course, of course. Fentanyl and migrants. That makes sense. We can't just be letting Canada pump massive and massive amounts of fentanyl and migrants across our border.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Huh, okay, so it's not fentanyl or migrants, and it can't be because Trump's an insecure wannabe alpha male thumping his chest so the world pays attention to him, so I guess we'll never know. It's probably Joe Biden. Whatever it is, Prime Minister Trudeau, he wasn't having it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
He's mad. And he's not even world leader mad. He's dad mad. This is the same tone I use when I tell my daughter not to throw her baby sister into the crib. You are not that type of person that does this, even though you just did this, and you'll probably keep doing it. But you're not this. Okay, Donald? My daughter's name is Donald. And...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
All of Canada is lining up behind Trudeau, like Ontario's premier Doug Ford came out to warn America about the consequences of a trade war, although in a confusing way.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Oh! Sick burn! Sick burn! I think. I mean, it sounded like a slam, but if the market will go downhill really fast, that means our bobsled team is also fast. And isn't that like a compliment? Our bobsled team is supposed to go fast, right? Unless he's saying our bobsled team is slow, which is a slam, but then that means the market won't go downhill fast, which is good for our economy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
This metaphor doesn't make any sense. The point is, Doug Ford is forcing me to learn about bobsledding, and I do not appreciate that. Is there a Canadian who can make an analogy that's a little less confusing? Donna Reardon, the mayor of St. John in New Brunswick, maybe you have a good analogy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, we're cousins, but we're... So we're breaking up? This analogy is even worse than the bobsled. You can't break up with your cousin. Sure, you can both go off and get married and start your own families and try to convince yourselves you've moved on, but she's still there at Thanksgiving every year.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, she brings her new husband and she laughs at his jokes, but deep down you can see in her pale blue eyes that she's sad and I'm sad too, Stephanie. I know she can see it in my eyes, which are the same color as hers, because we're related, and that's... And that's why we can't be together, right? What was I talking about? I'm sorry. Look, that's right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Oh, the trade war that we've launched for no reason. The point is, look, what Donald Trump has done to Canada. They're the nicest country on Earth, the sexiest cousin, and look what we've brought them out to do.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Damn. Canada's respect for America has gone down faster than Curtis and Hubert Stevens, gold medalists in the two-man bobsled at the 1932 Lake Placid Olympics. Now that's how you do a bobsled metaphor, Doug. Big bobsled fans out here today. Whatever the reason, Trump has now pushed America and Canada into a full-on trade war.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Grace.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Grace, what's your analysis?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
I'm sorry, tell Canada to shut the f*** up?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Actually, I think he was complimenting our team. I still don't really know.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah, well... I don't want to explain it to you. And if you know America's in the wrong, then why are you defending us?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
You know, Grace, I gotta say, in a weird way, I admire your patriotism.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Wait, is that a bald eagle pooping out a maple leaf? Yeah. Where did you even get that, Grace?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Yeah. Yeah, sometimes America is the worst, Grace. You're right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump’s Trade Wars Hike Prices, GOP Blames Biden for Economy | Mae Martin
Never mind. Never mind. Grace Kuhlenschmidt, everyone. Grace Kuhlenschmidt. When we come back, Ricky Velez gives us his opinion, so don't go away, Grace.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond
Oh, John. For the rest of the week. John, the Trump tariffs are about to kick in, and I'm worried about my wallet, specifically the money in my wallet, not my driver's license. That's been suspended for years. You're correct. Tariffs on Canada and Mexico are set to take effect, I think, tonight. Exactly. And so that's why I'm stocking up.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond
I just bought 4,000 pounds of Maryland crab and 10,000 cans of Arizona iced tea. So I'm ready. Yeah, those are all American products.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart on Trump’s Heel Turn on Zelenskyy & Elon's Interview Challenge | Matthew Desmond
You know, this might be all that crab and iced tea talking, but I don't think I know how tariffs work. All right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
And I got to tell you, as a kid who was a bit of a civics nerd, I used to think these were pretty sweet events. You know, you've got the president, the Supreme Court, every member of Congress in the same room. It's basically the Oscars for people with loose skin. But... These days, a speech to Congress is just a theatrical production where everybody has a role and they slip right into it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Look at these outfits. I mean, I thought I looked good.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Look at these outfits. These are amazing. Tell me about them.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Those are sweet.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I think I even saw a marijuana leaf, perhaps.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Yes. For those of you that know your music individually, wouldn't have necessarily thought you were going to get together and make a country album. How did we get here? Tell me what happened.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Yeah. And it's been in the works for a little bit, right? Is that...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Wow. A little bit. It's beautiful. I love it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I played it for my family. I played it for me. I played it for my dog. He now is wearing outfits like yours, which is strange. It's being called a queer country album. Why not call it a queerntry album? Michael Kosta trademark 2025. Or a lesbentry album. Is that good? Now, I guess let's talk about genre for a second. I mean, the title Queer Country Album, does that evoke anything?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Do you bother that someone might call it that? Are you proud of that?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I don't always think of, you know, Christianity doing such a good job with queer and gay.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
The pursuit of the divine, that's badass. And I can tell you, I feel like... Only musicians can pursue the divine. No one is listening to my comedy going, now that guy is in pursuit of the divine. Mackenzie, I want to hear your thoughts on the religious component, if there is one.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
So, places, everyone! Democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful. And they came with props, too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking, huh? Either that or a pickleball match. And you know what? F*** pickleball, all right? You ever played? Yeah. Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Right, totally. I love that. It doesn't surprise me that you're thoughtful and kind and compassionate in speaking with you because your music comes across that way. But you're speaking about things that love you for being you. Dogs. Holy shit. One of your songs, Sylvia, it's about your dog, right, Mackenzie? That's right. I love having a dog because...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
When I go do comedy at night, I bomb, I succeed, it went well, it went poorly, it doesn't matter. All these thoughts and expectations I have when I walk through the door, he's happy to see me. Is that the same for music? Is that the same for your dog? What's the name of your dog?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
That's what the name of the song is.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
She was born on Sylvia Platt's birthday. Let's state that, because I asked you what your dog's name was after I told you what your dog's name was.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Could have been your dog. That's true. Yeah. So what's your relationship with your dog and music? Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
What about you, Julianne?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
And I brought my asshole dog to the green room. And he was an asshole dog. Well, yeah. Well, he was very warm with you, too. He sensed your kindness.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I came home one time, and I said hi to my dog before my wife. And she said, why are you saying hi to the dog first? Say hi to your wife first. And I said, I'm saying hi to who's excited to see me. How cool is it that you're going to play for us? I mean, this is... Amazing. And I love your album. Everyone needs to listen to it. Send a Prayer My Way, Julian Baker and Torres.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Now, you're going to play Bottom of the Bottle for us. What can you tell us about that song?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Right. Yeah. Right. Well, it's a great song. George Strait is here tonight. It's a great song. We're looking forward to it. Thank you so much for being here and talking with us. Send a Prayer My Way comes out April 18th. It's available for pre-order now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Once you get to the front line, you're not even allowed to move. How stupid is that? I'm edgy. Some Democrats took the signage to the next level. Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib had a dry erase board that she updated throughout the night with protest messages like, stop lying to the American people, or no king, or that's a lie. And she went through a lot of them.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, your moment of zen.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
She had one that said, who has Luigi's sex tape? She did that cool S. These markers are getting me high. And she had one message that especially resonated with me. It said, Lucky Loser by Michael Kosta in stores March 11th. Now, yeah. I know. It's not really appropriate venue for that, but I appreciate it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
And I should also mention that Lucky Loser, my book, it's in stores next week starting on Tuesday. You can order it now. But those were just the bit players of the night. One Democrat even gave himself a speaking part.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Yeah. You know, there's something kind of badass about shaking a cane at someone, right? Don't f*** with me unless you want to take this very slowly outside, all right? I will say props to this guy. He got to send a message to President Trump and go home early, you know? I should have... I should have tried that when I wanted to leave my nephew's baptism. You do not have the mandate.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I'm out of here. Now, let's not forget about the Republicans. They also played their part in this performance, which was to cheer and hoot for their guy and make sure that everyone knew what country this was. Yeah, USA! USA! Careful, guys. The last time Republicans got this rowdy at the Capitol, Nancy Pelosi had to bleach her desk.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Here... Here's a moment that encapsulated the embarrassing theater of the entire night. It's before the speech even started, when Donald Trump is walking down to the podium, surrounded by hooting Republicans, when a Democrat walks up behind him with a sign that says, "'This is not normal.'" Okay. Okay. Which, first of all, I think it is normal at this point.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Trump has been in our lives for a decade now. Sadly, this is our normal. In the same way that 20 years ago, it wasn't normal to drunkenly jump in the backseat of a stranger's car, but now it's called Uber. And... There's only a 50% chance you end up murdered. So, yeah, you know, shit changes, okay?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
But anyway, that Democrat is holding a sign that's wrong and ineffective, and then a divorced dad Republican sees the sign, reaches over, and yanks it out of her hand and chucks it onto the floor. And she just stands there and does nothing. She's like, well, that sign was my only idea. But forget the supporting cast. The star of the night was Donald Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
And you have to admit, he showed a lot of range last night. Okay. Like when he talked about Doge finding Social Security fraud, he got to show off his lying skills.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I can't believe we're paying that many people Social Security. I can't believe it because it's not true, okay? And I could... It's been debunked. I could explain why it's false and why Trump's wasting everybody's time over an Excel spreadsheet error, or in the time it would take to explain it, we could watch this video of my dog, Walter. Fact check, he's perfect.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
But Trump spent a lot of his performance on the waste Elon Musk is finding while also showcasing his masterful ability to troll.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that children's book. I think it's called If You Give a Mouse a Pussy, right? No. Now... To be fair, $8 million to transition mice is a waste of money. You know, just look at Mickey Mouse, right? You put a $6 bow on him, and boom, Minnie Mouse.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
But, hey, Trump, maybe you shouldn't criticize weird science stuff when your new best friend is the one putting microchips in monkey brains, and when those monkeys die, your other new best friend is taking them home in a doggy bag. But still, Trump did show his range.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
When his speech turned to Greenland, he showed off a very singular special talent, reassuring our allies in a bizarrely threatening way.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Does Trump listen to himself when he talks? He's sending a lot of mixed messages right now. You hear that, Greenland? It's your choice, but you will be ours. Look, totally your call. It's inevitable. Guys, Greenland, it's up to you. We're easy, okay? Give us your minerals now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Of course, part of Trump's role in this performance is also announcing a major new policy, but doing it in the Trumpiest way possible.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Yeah, I mean, it makes perfect sense. You know, Trump can't make announcements on April Fool's Day. Otherwise, we would all be like, what? Is this a joke? I mean... You know, as opposed to every other day where that isn't our reaction to the stuff he does. I love the level of reverence Trump shows for April Fool's Day. Juneteenth, that's not even a word.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Now, this April Fool's Day, we will honor our ancestors by playing pranks and overall tomfoolery. It's important. By the way, no one over the age of 14 even celebrates April Fool's Day. That's like saying, I was going to end inflation next Friday, but actually that's when the Kids' Choice Awards are, so we'll see.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
But as always, the most important part of Trump's performance, needling the Democrats.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Whoa, whoa, welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michael Kosta. Tonight, Donald Trump unites half the country, Democrats keep staples in business, and mice finally get their own culture war. So let's get into our ongoing segment, the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Last night, Donald Trump gave his first joint address to Congress of his new term.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I don't get why everyone that I've been bullying for 10 years never smiles at me. Why don't you like me, you limp dick lunatics? And by the way, how is Trump still obsessed with Biden? Move on, dude. You won, right? You think Mark Zuckerberg is still talking about Tom from MySpace? No. He's busy having a midlife crisis. Look at this. Also, dude, you busted out the Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas line.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
That is such an old joke. You might as well have been like, hey, Pocahontas, what's up? So all in all, my review of last night's theater production is that it was humiliating in a display of thirst for attention, blind partisan rage, and a total disinterest in doing anything that might benefit the people. In other words, it truly was the State of the Union.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Now, for more on last night's speech, we go live to the Capitol with Ronnie Chang.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
Last night's spectacle had to be a new low for America.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
It's not all about the plot. They're building the character. But what matters here is that our nation's leaders were acting like screaming children. That's embarrassing.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
I see what you're saying. You're saying that in America, we're better than that. So you're right. Thank you, Ronnie.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES
All right, Ronny Chieng, everybody. Ronny Chieng, everybody. When we come back, Julian Baker and Torres will be joining me, so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 2
I will say this, the process of going into the field is
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 2
Oh, great. You have an opinion on this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 2
Remember when Mark Philip Pustis would practice with his shirt off? I mean, I'm not even gay, and I was getting hard for that guy. You know what I mean?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 2
The biggest issue I thought was the grips, right? The grips are off.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 2
It's like if I was like, hey, so this water is really delicious. So when we say gripping, I mean the way they were holding the racket.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I saw two seconds of that trailer and Zendaya, Zendaya, whatever her name is, had the wrong grip on the serve. And I said, get this shitty movie out of my face right now. If you're going to try to serve with a semi-western grip and then not even change over to an eastern or semi-western for the forehand, get this crap out of my face right now.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
By the way, RIP Gene Hackman, one of the greatest college, excuse me, one of the greatest basketball roles. that I can remember.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah, that's that's a great question. And, you know, one of the things that fascinates me.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Or morning Zoom. Doing this show is great, but I never know what's coming through my headphone.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
It's amazing how many people stop me and say, you're where I get my news. And I go, you know, we're on Comedy Central, right? You know that we don't uphold or have to be upheld to any journalistic integrity. I think, yeah, you know, what's that great movie where the news anchor loses his mind? Network. You know, I think that's a great synopsis.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
um i wish our news channels were publicly funded they weren't for profit i think every time i see a lower third on cnn or fox i go they're just doing that so we keep watching it doesn't really seem like they're trying to inform us there is a trustworthiness with comedy there's a trustworthiness with comedians there's this thought that comedians tell the truth
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
um i always think it's hilarious when comedians get held to a higher standard than a politician or an elected official but i do think people enjoy that they're coming to see us and we'll make them laugh oh and also i learned that donald trump just signed an executive order that you can't swirl vanilla and chocolate ice cream today or whatever it is um So good question. It's a good question.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Might not be a simple answer. I'm just trying really hard to not be a slapdick on your guys' show today.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Oh, that's a great question.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah. It is a really tricky time. I can easily get my mind into everyone relax. You're overreacting. There's a checks and balances of this system. American democracy has been in motion for 270 years. This isn't the first egomaniac we've had as president. And I can easily get my mind into this is the beginning of authoritarian rule. Comedians can and will be locked up.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Free speech is pretended to be put on a pedestal, but anytime you criticize this guy, you're done. The number one media, social media platform is in the pocket of the, you know, so I can go both ways. I don't know the answer. All I know is comedy is a good way to fight and resist until they shoot us.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I also love that I came in right after the Dookie Bomb t-shirt for sale. That made me laugh. You know, that stumped me. That question stumps me. So good first question. I actually think being a comedian is lonelier.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Was that the final answer? My answer is Barentini. Yeah, Barentini. And also in that Netflix documentary, he wins in five sets and he's in the cold tub and he calls his grandparents and they're watching live in Italy at like 3 a.m. And it is just, it is a tear. He's not just a handsome face. He's also a good guy. I want that to be my dismo.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Because, and I actually talk about this, I have this crazy night in Edmonton when I'm a brand new comic where these girls call my hotel room right after I perform and they say, hey, can we come upstairs to your room? And tomfoolery ensues. And the next day, I'm all alone. And I have this great story that I want to tell everybody, but you're at a Best Western in Edmonton alone.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Whereas even when I played tennis, and sometimes you were sharing a hotel room with competitors, you at least could pull a guy aside and say, check this out.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I think tennis is impossible, is nearly impossible. It's a nonstop calendar year. The physicality of it. I think comedy is tough, but you can make $14,000 a year playing bowling alleys the rest of your life pretty easily, I think. If you're willing to do the armpit joke and the, can I get a volunteer from the crowd and do the, you know, whatever this, that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
This is true. Of course, only I would pick to do an act out on a radio show. But you get the volunteer from the crowd to come out. They put the arms through your armpits. And then you say, oh, we're cooking. We're making an omelet. And it's their arms and your... Great gig. 14 grand a year, you say?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
One of my first gigs, I was doing a bowling alley in a basement in Michigan, and I was bombing so hard that my feet were sweating. Oh. And... I could hear the people above me bowling strikes. And it was this amazing dichotomy of success and failure so close to each other.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
i appreciate that question that's a that's an astute question because before we were pushed up to co-hosts or a host whatever you want to call it we were all in the same camp right we were all correspondents we were all hey great piece to you hey great piece to you that was good writing high five you know and then we could all kind of get together and about the actual host that was above us
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
You know, it stayed remarkably friendly. I don't think anybody would deny that being in the chair is a tremendous honor and is something we all want. I think what helped is with this rotating host, Jon Stewart has Mondays. The rest of us, myself, Desi Lydic, Ronnie Chang, Jordan Klepper, take Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday on a rotating.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I think what helped is we won the Emmy for best late night and it kind of put everyone's egos. It gave us what we all wanted and that helped with the competitiveness. So I thank the Emmy for that. Where is it, you ask? It's in my kitchen on display.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah, 100%. You know, my dad used to say, at the bottom of the stairs, who can get up first? And there's four kids. I mean, well, that's an unnecessary challenge. You know, and I'm six and I'm getting elbowed by my sister because my dad just said, go, who gets up there fastest? Extremely competitive. Extremely competitive.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
When I entered comedy, I quickly realized I had to back out of this competitiveness. I couldn't watch a show that I was also on hoping my competitors would fail so I would look funnier. That's a miserable way to be. In sport, it's accepted, it's encouraged, it's a necessity. But in the arts... It's exhausting, dude.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
It's okay if Dan goes up and has a great set and then I go up and have a great set and we're different and we're both funny. So I've had to undo a lot of this competitiveness and it's exhausting being competitive, man. I just want to like high five and hang out with you guys and not go, who had the best segment on the Levitard show today? That sucks.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah, you know, I always thought it was BS when Rafael Nadal would win, win, win, and then he would go, I just love this sport, I just love this sport. And it's like, are you serious? Because Andre Agassi says he hates the sport. Everyone I know has tennis trauma.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
i talk about a kid in this book who cheated me when i was 11. i i still wait for the c train hoping i run into that kid i mean i'm 45 i'm 45 years old i have i have children It really affects you. And I think the reason there's so much hatred to the sport is at a very young age, you're thrown in these highly competitive problem solving situations alone.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I also think that's why it's such a great sport for kids to play is they learn how to navigate the world and unfairness. I needed more love for the sport to be more successful.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
was losing a lot and was out of money uh that's a tough recipe for tennis success uh but now after a break from the sport i love it i love it i love it i love it i also play once a month i get one hour court time uh run around you know it's a nice reminder that i was actually good at something
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah. I'm sensing that's a joke. Let's hope it is.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Although with the WTA, you could call some of them handsome. Let's take this opportunity for me to mention. Amen, brother. I miss what she said. What did she say? She has a character that's a sexist bane. Misogynistic bane. Jessica, it's nice to meet you. You're very funny. You make me laugh a lot. Let's take this opportunity to mention that Musetti has a rap album. No.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
You should be able to find it on Spotify.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Am I right? I'm looking it up right now.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Because there's two active ATP players that rap. The Canadian, Denis Shapovalov, and I believe it's Lorenzi Musetti. He might have a single. Is Magnifico?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I went and watched Bertini lose a couple years ago at the U.S. Open, and it was remarkable that 96% of the audience was women, young women, divorced women, newly married women. I mean, it was remarkable. So what are we asking? Is Michael deciding who's the most handsome? I just want your feedback as I decide that it's obviously Tommy Paul.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I think Tommy Paul is an excellent, excellent, handsome man who wears a shorter short, and I do appreciate that. I think this whole baggy short thing, tennis, you got some of the best legs of all sports. What are you doing?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I might be thinking of Sonego. S-O-N-E-G-O.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Dan, I'm sorry. I said it with so much confidence.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
It is Sonego. It's Sonego. Nailed it. I have to admit that when I came before I came on the show, I didn't brush up on Lorenzi Musetti's bio.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I wrote it because it even surprises me that I'm here now as a comedian and I kind of had to recap what the hell was going on. i love tennis that was my dream uh and it didn't happen i made eleven thousand dollars over four years my career high ranking was 864 in the world which is still my email signature and
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
was got hired in the Daily Show, was starting to have some comedy success, was starting to sell tickets, was starting to tour. And I just, and I was also about to have a kid and I was like, I need to figure out how we got here. Cause it surprises me even when as a kid, all the posters on my wall were tennis players. I think it's a really fascinating story. And when I share it with people,
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
whether athletics or not, they pull from it and they connect. And I think it's a good lesson for all the young kids out there. Yes, have a dream, but you're probably gonna fail at it. So if you can try to learn something from that first dream, odds are it'll help you with your second profession or career.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I was out of money. Um, when I used to play professionally, you know, you win, win, win as a junior in college, we won four big 10 championships, university of Illinois. I won something like 80% of my matches in college. You get to the pros. I'm all I'm doing is losing. Every week I'm losing. The tournament starts on Monday, and my Monday at 2 p.m., I'm out of the tournament.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
You know, it's like, so what do you do with six and a half days when you're in Zihuantanejo, Mexico, playing a $10,000 future? And if that city sounds familiar, it's because that's where Andy Dufresne escaped prison to in the Shawshank Redemption. That was my first pro tournament. So I started to write ideas online. that were funny, interactions that were funny.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
I wanted my mind to get out of tennis just for an hour. And when I finally wrapped up and I was living with my parents in Michigan and I was hired as the assistant coach at University of Michigan, I had these binders of jokes. And I had a month before the team reported and before my life was going to be over as a college coach, as it is.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
And I signed up for an open mic and I took these folders of jokes. And my first joke, which I describe in grave detail in the book, was called crotch karate. And I went around the audience and I pretended to karate chop them with my crotch. And it's bad then and it's bad now.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
That's true. I don't know if anything said crotch-crotty in those binders. It wasn't until later that I started to really dig into the binders and go, maybe you should use this stuff and stop trying to assault your audience.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
Yeah, I just, you know, for one, it was a way to get my mind away from tennis. But yeah, I guess deep down there was always this passion for comedy. I mean, when I was 10 years old, that was Johnny Carson's last...
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
hosting night i begged my parents to stay up late i watched it um that's the the gary shanling show um these things made me feel something i never felt before but when you grow up in michigan show business is not an option you don't even it was all a fantasy and so i wrote some stuff down and then when i actually had an opportunity and thanks to stand-up comedy it's much like tennis in the sense that
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
Hour 1: Michael Kosta Is a Lucky Loser
You can sign up. You, Dan, can sign up for an open qualifying tennis professional event if you want to. You probably will lose early, but there is an open forum. There's an open forum to be a stand-up comedy. So I had the jokes. I guess I had a passion for comedy, and that's what started. And once I did it, then I was screwed. Then you're screwed because you've tasted the sweetness, baby.