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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Lies in Joint Address & Rep. Al Green Leaves Early | Julien Baker & TORRES

Thu, 06 Mar 2025

Description

Michael Kosta explains why Trump’s joint session speech felt like a theatrical production with appearances by co-star Elon Musk, over-the-top trolling, and blatant lies as the Democrats helplessly wielded their props. Critically acclaimed musicians, Julien Baker & TORRES, sit down with Michael Kosta to discuss their forthcoming album, “Send A Prayer My Way.” They talk about banding together during lockdown to create a country album, navigating a spiritual relationship with the divine, and writing a song about the unconditional love of a dog.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcription

Chapter 1: Why did Trump's joint session speech feel like a theatrical production?

71.79 - 104.886 Michael Kosta

Whoa, whoa, welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Michael Kosta. Tonight, Donald Trump unites half the country, Democrats keep staples in business, and mice finally get their own culture war. So let's get into our ongoing segment, the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Last night, Donald Trump gave his first joint address to Congress of his new term.

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Chapter 2: What happened during Trump's first joint address to Congress?

104.926 - 128.682 Michael Kosta

And I got to tell you, as a kid who was a bit of a civics nerd, I used to think these were pretty sweet events. You know, you've got the president, the Supreme Court, every member of Congress in the same room. It's basically the Oscars for people with loose skin. But... These days, a speech to Congress is just a theatrical production where everybody has a role and they slip right into it.

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129.002 - 158.112 Michael Kosta

So, places, everyone! Democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful. And they came with props, too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking, huh? Either that or a pickleball match. And you know what? F*** pickleball, all right? You ever played? Yeah. Yeah.

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Chapter 3: How did the Democrats use props during the speech?

159.754 - 186.721 Michael Kosta

Once you get to the front line, you're not even allowed to move. How stupid is that? I'm edgy. Some Democrats took the signage to the next level. Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib had a dry erase board that she updated throughout the night with protest messages like, stop lying to the American people, or no king, or that's a lie. And she went through a lot of them.

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186.841 - 215.893 Michael Kosta

She had one that said, who has Luigi's sex tape? She did that cool S. These markers are getting me high. And she had one message that especially resonated with me. It said, Lucky Loser by Michael Kosta in stores March 11th. Now, yeah. I know. It's not really appropriate venue for that, but I appreciate it.

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215.913 - 233.63 Michael Kosta

And I should also mention that Lucky Loser, my book, it's in stores next week starting on Tuesday. You can order it now. But those were just the bit players of the night. One Democrat even gave himself a speaking part.

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234.431 - 253.887 Narrator

Democrats interrupting just four minutes into the speech. Texas Democrat Al Green heckling the president, shaking his cane at him. Members are directed to uphold and maintain decorum in the House. Speaker Mike Johnson stopping the speech, ordering Green be removed from the chamber.

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Chapter 4: What were the reactions of Republicans and Democrats during the speech?

254.348 - 285.758 Michael Kosta

Yeah. You know, there's something kind of badass about shaking a cane at someone, right? Don't f*** with me unless you want to take this very slowly outside, all right? I will say props to this guy. He got to send a message to President Trump and go home early, you know? I should have... I should have tried that when I wanted to leave my nephew's baptism. You do not have the mandate.

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286.058 - 313.008 Michael Kosta

I'm out of here. Now, let's not forget about the Republicans. They also played their part in this performance, which was to cheer and hoot for their guy and make sure that everyone knew what country this was. Yeah, USA! USA! Careful, guys. The last time Republicans got this rowdy at the Capitol, Nancy Pelosi had to bleach her desk.

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313.528 - 344.097 Michael Kosta

Here... Here's a moment that encapsulated the embarrassing theater of the entire night. It's before the speech even started, when Donald Trump is walking down to the podium, surrounded by hooting Republicans, when a Democrat walks up behind him with a sign that says, "'This is not normal.'" Okay. Okay. Which, first of all, I think it is normal at this point.

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344.657 - 362.644 Michael Kosta

Trump has been in our lives for a decade now. Sadly, this is our normal. In the same way that 20 years ago, it wasn't normal to drunkenly jump in the backseat of a stranger's car, but now it's called Uber. And... There's only a 50% chance you end up murdered. So, yeah, you know, shit changes, okay?

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362.864 - 390.686 Michael Kosta

But anyway, that Democrat is holding a sign that's wrong and ineffective, and then a divorced dad Republican sees the sign, reaches over, and yanks it out of her hand and chucks it onto the floor. And she just stands there and does nothing. She's like, well, that sign was my only idea. But forget the supporting cast. The star of the night was Donald Trump.

390.886 - 401.21 Michael Kosta

And you have to admit, he showed a lot of range last night. Okay. Like when he talked about Doge finding Social Security fraud, he got to show off his lying skills.

401.803 - 440.134 Donald Trump

We're also identifying shocking levels of incompetence and probable fraud in the Social Security program. Government databases list 4.7 million Social Security members from people aged 100 to 109 years old. 3.6 million people from ages 110 to 119. 3.5 million people from ages 140 to 149. And one person is listed at 360 years of age.

Chapter 5: What false claims did Trump make about Social Security?

443.977 - 478.267 Michael Kosta

I can't believe we're paying that many people Social Security. I can't believe it because it's not true, okay? And I could... It's been debunked. I could explain why it's false and why Trump's wasting everybody's time over an Excel spreadsheet error, or in the time it would take to explain it, we could watch this video of my dog, Walter. Fact check, he's perfect.

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480.882 - 489.048 Michael Kosta

But Trump spent a lot of his performance on the waste Elon Musk is finding while also showcasing his masterful ability to troll.

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489.688 - 518.931 Donald Trump

Just listen to some of the appalling waste we have already identified. $20 million for the Arab Sesame Street. in the Middle East. Diversity, equity, and inclusion. Scholarships in Burma. Improving learning outcomes in Asia. LGBTQI+. In the African nation of Lesotho. $8 million for making mice transgender.

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519.191 - 539.616 Michael Kosta

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that children's book. I think it's called If You Give a Mouse a Pussy, right? No. Now... To be fair, $8 million to transition mice is a waste of money. You know, just look at Mickey Mouse, right? You put a $6 bow on him, and boom, Minnie Mouse.

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543.036 - 559.288 Michael Kosta

But, hey, Trump, maybe you shouldn't criticize weird science stuff when your new best friend is the one putting microchips in monkey brains, and when those monkeys die, your other new best friend is taking them home in a doggy bag. But still, Trump did show his range.

559.548 - 567.737 Michael Kosta

When his speech turned to Greenland, he showed off a very singular special talent, reassuring our allies in a bizarrely threatening way.

568.237 - 589.619 Donald Trump

I also have a message tonight for the incredible people of Greenland. We strongly support your right to determine your own future. And if you choose, we welcome you into the United States of America. We need Greenland for national security. And I think we're going to get it. One way or the other, we're going to get it.

Chapter 6: How did Trump showcase his trolling skills during the speech?

589.639 - 613.338 Michael Kosta

Does Trump listen to himself when he talks? He's sending a lot of mixed messages right now. You hear that, Greenland? It's your choice, but you will be ours. Look, totally your call. It's inevitable. Guys, Greenland, it's up to you. We're easy, okay? Give us your minerals now.

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615.599 - 623.042 Michael Kosta

Of course, part of Trump's role in this performance is also announcing a major new policy, but doing it in the Trumpiest way possible.

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623.623 - 646.288 Donald Trump

Other countries have used tariffs against us for decades, and now it's our turn to start using them against those other countries. And so on April 2nd, I wanted to make it April 1st, but I didn't want to be accused of April Fool's Day. I'm a very superstitious person. April 2nd, reciprocal tariffs kick in.

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646.969 - 671.688 Michael Kosta

Yeah, I mean, it makes perfect sense. You know, Trump can't make announcements on April Fool's Day. Otherwise, we would all be like, what? Is this a joke? I mean... You know, as opposed to every other day where that isn't our reaction to the stuff he does. I love the level of reverence Trump shows for April Fool's Day. Juneteenth, that's not even a word.

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671.928 - 689.878 Michael Kosta

Now, this April Fool's Day, we will honor our ancestors by playing pranks and overall tomfoolery. It's important. By the way, no one over the age of 14 even celebrates April Fool's Day. That's like saying, I was going to end inflation next Friday, but actually that's when the Kids' Choice Awards are, so we'll see.

691.667 - 697.072 Michael Kosta

But as always, the most important part of Trump's performance, needling the Democrats.

697.472 - 719.434 Donald Trump

Joe Biden, the worst president in American history. Joe Biden especially let the price of eggs get out of control. Joe Biden's insane and very dangerous open border policies. Look where Biden took us, very low, the lowest we've ever been. Do you want to keep it going for another five years? Yeah, yeah, you would say Pocahontas says yes.

719.714 - 731.676 Donald Trump

I look at the Democrats in front of me and I realize there is absolutely nothing I can say to make them happy or to make them stand or smile or applaud. Nothing I can do.

732.676 - 765.395 Michael Kosta

I don't get why everyone that I've been bullying for 10 years never smiles at me. Why don't you like me, you limp dick lunatics? And by the way, how is Trump still obsessed with Biden? Move on, dude. You won, right? You think Mark Zuckerberg is still talking about Tom from MySpace? No. He's busy having a midlife crisis. Look at this. Also, dude, you busted out the Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas line.

Chapter 7: What international perspectives were shared about political decorum?

807.614 - 810.796 Michael Kosta

Last night's spectacle had to be a new low for America.

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810.816 - 826.246 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Oh, oh, yeah, sure, a new low. Oh, my God, it was so crazy. People were holding up signs. An old guy, like, yelled something. Last night was nothing, Costa. That shit was more boring than White Lotus.

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828.087 - 835.892 Michael Kosta

It's not all about the plot. They're building the character. But what matters here is that our nation's leaders were acting like screaming children. That's embarrassing.

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836.352 - 858.969 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Okay, let me give you some international perspective, okay? Watch what happened in Serbia's parliament yesterday, right? Look at this. There's smoke bombs, okay? This looks like Philadelphia after a Super Bowl or any day. Do you know how many smoke bombs you have to set off to overpower cigarette smoke in Serbia? That is an abandonment of decorum, okay?

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858.989 - 878.661 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Especially in Serbia, a country where 80% of the men work as bouncers, okay? How about Taiwan, okay? Longtime democracy, polite Asian country. Look at their parliament last month. Here they are politely barricading each other with chairs in a complete disregard for feng shui. It's like Taiwan...

880.003 - 902.01 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

It's like, hey, Taiwan Parliament, how about you stop fighting and come over and help me move my apartment, all right? I only have three chairs. It would take no time. All right, you know, I get your point. All right, well, too bad, because I'm not done, okay? Look at Italy, okay? Look at this. I don't even know why they're fighting. It's probably because someone voted to add pineapple on pizza.

902.17 - 917.122 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

I don't know. And look, how about the country of Georgia, all right? It's normal, normal. Oh, don't put your face! Someone got punched in the face. That guy just really snuck up on you coming in from the front like that in a well-lit room.

919.505 - 924.49 Michael Kosta

I see what you're saying. You're saying that in America, we're better than that. So you're right. Thank you, Ronnie.

925.33 - 957.231 Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

No, I'm saying I'm saying we should also be doing that. All right. Yeah. Yeah. America, if you're going to get rowdy, don't half-ass it with like a little whiteboard, okay? Congress should have looked like Walmart on Black Friday or Philadelphia on any day. But Ronnie, if we do that, Congress won't get anything done. They already don't get anything done. You might as well start a Royal Rumble.

Chapter 8: Who are Julien Baker and TORRES, and what is their new album about?

1003.954 - 1020.907 Joe McCormick

Now get Fiber 7 gig with Wi-Fi 7 for insanely fast, reliable internet. And so much more. Wi-Fi security, whole home Wi-Fi, and premium tech support. All on Frontier Fiber. Frontier Fiber. Good to go. In select areas. Max speeds wired. Actual average and Wi-Fi speed vary.

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1041.2 - 1041.5 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Hello.

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1041.68 - 1042.561 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

How are you?

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1042.621 - 1043.381 Joe McCormick

Thank you for coming.

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1043.561 - 1043.921 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Wow.

1044.221 - 1054.125 Michael Kosta

Look at these outfits. I mean, I thought I looked good.

1055.126 - 1055.326 Julien Baker

Yeah?

1055.848 - 1058.35 Michael Kosta

Look at these outfits. These are amazing. Tell me about them.

1060.452 - 1064.836 Julien Baker

Well, we wanted to do the classic nudie suit thing. Got Union Western to make us these.

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