Take a clean and sober look back at The Daily Show's coverage of spring break through the years. Jon Stewart covers the mental and physical tolls of spring break. Dan Bakkedahl investigates the businesses preying on the intoxicated. Jon takes a hard look at Fox's hard looks at scantily clad spring breakers. Trevor Noah unmasks the first post-covid spring break. And Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta take a look at the highs and lows of spring break in 2024. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the impact of spring break on college students?
A new study by the American Medical Association reports 40% of female spring breakers passed out, half got sick, and 13% had sex with more than one partner. But only after a gang of crafty nerds rewired the sign at the Hotel Coral Essex. Nerds! Nerds! Even though you shout nerds, they keep with their tomfoolery.
Even more shocking, 10% of female spring breakers had public or group sex that they later regretted. Which means 90% had public or group sex that, in hindsight, they were really glad they did. Ooh.
Me likey the odds.
Psychologist Robin Goodman told CBS The Early Show debauchery is a major issue.
Although sex and drugs have been going down in the population of teenagers, for girls it's going up. Girls are really now catching up to boys in some of these bad behaviors. And fun, unfortunately, is morphing into dangerous at times.
How dangerous a problem is it? Well, to put it in perspective, this is the story that it came right in front of. Danny Lesko and Robin Goodman, thank you very much.
Thank you. Up next, we're going to talk about fat pets.
That's pretty dangerous. College girls gone bad. Overweight cucka spaniel.
Switching gears to travel, you know, at this time of year, many young people have a particular tourist destination on their minds. Tonight, Dan Bacodal heads south to join in the fun.
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Chapter 2: Why is spring break a marketing opportunity?
Spring break is a great marketing opportunity for corporate America.
Woo! Market! Spring break! Yes, it's the time of year when marketers from every corner of the country head to the beach to let their hair down and take in the natural beauty of the 18 to 24-year-old demographic.
The advantage of marketing at Spring Break is that you have students who are in a social environment and social atmosphere that aren't running off the class, but kind of have time to look at products.
Right. So on college campuses, there's only a 50% chance they're going to be stoned and impressionable. Here, you've got a guarantee.
I don't know if you're guaranteed they're all going to be wasted. They're pretty wasted. There certainly is a fair amount of alcohol consumption at Spring Break.
High five! Right on. All That Booze helps the students explore sophisticated new scents, make lifelong commitments to credit cards, and romp around on the National Guard's realistic inflatable Iraq War simulator. But surprisingly, some find reason to complain.
I find it absolutely despicable that here we are on the beach with college students, 18-year-olds, barely old enough to vote, never had a job, and here are the credit card companies preying upon their naivete, giving them more credit than they can ever afford to pay back. Whatever, nerd. I like to think of myself as a conscientious academic. Nerd. We, you know, we don't like to... Nerd.
But the kids themselves are way into it. What's up, dudes? What's going on? You just hanging out, consuming some goods and services?
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What are the dangers associated with spring break?
Hi there, how are you? Enjoying spring?
You're stupid. Why are you wearing that?
I don't think you make a very good imitation.
Oh, what, do I have to show my d**ks to get free stuff?
No.
Okay.
I don't think this is making me very comfortable.
This co-ed was sold. I was going to have the ultimate spring break. First stop, free Roto-V mentholated eye drops. It's like fire and ice in my eyeballs.
Chug, chug, chug, chug.
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Chapter 4: How is spring break portrayed in the media?
America's oldest hall monitor, Sean Hannity... dedicated not one, not two, but five different shows on the horrors of spring break, including the entire hour on Friday, featuring a panel of outrage experts there to expose this annual event You will believe what they found because you know.
You have people having sex on the beach in public.
The abundance of the over-drinking. These young ladies who are disgracing themselves by running around acting like that. Women take their tops off. That young girl standing on the box with no bottom on her.
These sloppy drunken dudes down there. Guys were literally taking their pants off. Yes, it was high as a kite. A lot of drinking, drugs, risky behavior, sometimes with tragic results.
Shortly after filming that piece, that young woman blew out her left butt cheek. Doctors say she may never twerk again. Perhaps she'll have to file for Twerkman's comp. So you did a week of shows on this. What wisdom did the panel impart? My daughter, there's no way in hell she's going there. Well, that makes sense. I assume the same goes for your sons.
But with my sons, I hope they have a great time.
Men and women are equal, but we're different. If I had a college son, I'd say, here's a hundred bucks, have fun.
Okay, let's just all agree that that is sexist. And just move on to the more pressing issue here. A hundred bucks? He's going to spring break, not Dave and Buster's. Look, you're gonna get a call three hours into spring break. Hey, thanks for the hundred bucks. It got me to Delaware. Now I'm just sitting here blowing truckers trying to get down to Tampa.
I don't know what I'm going to have to do to get home. Tell mom I love her. Now, some of the more skeptical viewers might think this is less of a news story and more of a reason to spend a week running wildly inappropriate TNA footage alongside pundits tisking said footage. But you'd only be 99.9% right. You see, this is also an in-depth cautionary tale about what can happen when children
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Chapter 5: What are some humorous takes on spring break?
I went to Panama City in 1992. I was at Sharky's. I may have gotten over-served one or two nights.
I've been at the floor of Bama. I've been down there. You know all those places. I know all those places.
Right? Oh, you do. So, what kind of parents let their kids go to Spring Break? Oh, right. Your parents. So you just don't want kids today doing... You clearly don't want kids today doing the terrible things you have such fond memories of doing. And I guess if they are going to do it, there is one thing you would like them to know.
They're doing it wrong. What we used to do when we were young, we'd put a boom hole, hold it up, open it up, and that was calling shotguns.
Shoot that cup.
This is called a funnel.
They have to lean back. It opens up their throat, and then the beard goes down.
Chloe!
Yeah.
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