Dan Bakkedahl

It's spring in Florida, and that means one thing.

It's spring in Florida, and that means one thing.

Woo! Market! Spring break! Yes, it's the time of year when marketers from every corner of the country head to the beach to let their hair down and take in the natural beauty of the 18 to 24-year-old demographic.

Woo! Market! Spring break! Yes, it's the time of year when marketers from every corner of the country head to the beach to let their hair down and take in the natural beauty of the 18 to 24-year-old demographic.

Right. So on college campuses, there's only a 50% chance they're going to be stoned and impressionable. Here, you've got a guarantee.

Right. So on college campuses, there's only a 50% chance they're going to be stoned and impressionable. Here, you've got a guarantee.

High five! Right on. All That Booze helps the students explore sophisticated new scents, make lifelong commitments to credit cards, and romp around on the National Guard's realistic inflatable Iraq War simulator. But surprisingly, some find reason to complain.

High five! Right on. All That Booze helps the students explore sophisticated new scents, make lifelong commitments to credit cards, and romp around on the National Guard's realistic inflatable Iraq War simulator. But surprisingly, some find reason to complain.

But the kids themselves are way into it. What's up, dudes? What's going on? You just hanging out, consuming some goods and services?

But the kids themselves are way into it. What's up, dudes? What's going on? You just hanging out, consuming some goods and services?

Hey, dude. Yeah. What do you say we bust out of here and go get some low-interest debt refinancing? Uh, nah, I don't want to do that. Come on, man, it's spring break! I know, look around you. You want to go out and get debt financing?

Hey, dude. Yeah. What do you say we bust out of here and go get some low-interest debt refinancing? Uh, nah, I don't want to do that. Come on, man, it's spring break! I know, look around you. You want to go out and get debt financing?

Dude, I totally got her number. And a pretty good sense of her purchasing power. Spring Break marketing is a success because people like Mr. Youth know exactly what kids like.

Dude, I totally got her number. And a pretty good sense of her purchasing power. Spring Break marketing is a success because people like Mr. Youth know exactly what kids like.

Let's pretend I'm a co-ed on Spring Break and you try to market to me. Okay.

Let's pretend I'm a co-ed on Spring Break and you try to market to me. Okay.

You're stupid. Why are you wearing that?

You're stupid. Why are you wearing that?

Oh, what, do I have to show my d**ks to get free stuff?

Oh, what, do I have to show my d**ks to get free stuff?

Okay.

Okay.

This co-ed was sold. I was going to have the ultimate spring break. First stop, free Roto-V mentholated eye drops. It's like fire and ice in my eyeballs.

This co-ed was sold. I was going to have the ultimate spring break. First stop, free Roto-V mentholated eye drops. It's like fire and ice in my eyeballs.

Then it was time to wash it all down with some complimentary fruit-flavored Dasani.

Then it was time to wash it all down with some complimentary fruit-flavored Dasani.

I soon found myself signing things I'd never sign at home.

I soon found myself signing things I'd never sign at home.

Sadly, my spring break ended like everyone else's. 29.9% APR? What have I done? The only way to cure this hangover was to get drunk and bang some 18-year-olds.

Sadly, my spring break ended like everyone else's. 29.9% APR? What have I done? The only way to cure this hangover was to get drunk and bang some 18-year-olds.