Desi Lydic
Appearances
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I think at the core, the most important thing for the Democrats is to, you know, really take this time and figure out what is the vision? Who is going to lead this party? What do we want? What does that look like? What is the democratic version of, you know, Project 2025? I think there's so much disagreement about
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
in the party and you know there's a they're kind of like stuck in this cycle of reacting all the time and that's only going to get you so far like you can't be on your on your back foot just reacting it's like there has to be some kind of proactive mission and until the party really figures out what what the vision is what the path forward is then it's going to continue to be rudderless
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I love an excuse to hang out. So even if we're doing it over Zoom, I'll take it. I'll take what I can get.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
So there are no cocktails that you're aware of, but you don't know what's in my travel mug. Is that how you guys do it at The Daily Show?
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
That's a great question. It depends on the day. It really depends on the day. I think there are great characters on both sides of the aisle. It depends on what the stories of the day are. Yeah. I think there's definitely a real lack of censorship or restraint in the Republican Party that tends to be funnier when people are just off the rails and saying whatever the hell they want to say.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
There definitely seems to be a little more of that energy happening on the Republican on the Republican side. So they tend to give us a little more material. But listen, we're out to poke holes in both sides and call BS wherever it exists.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And that's the other thing that we kind of grapple with is, I mean, she's... She's a machine. She's just out there saying wild stuff all the time. And I think that the other the the challenge that we're coming up against is like, you know, sometimes these politicians are out there just saying stuff because they want the press. They want to be covered, you know, and it feels like taking the bait.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
So for us to kind of figure out, all right, Marjorie Taylor Greene said this thing about That was very upsetting today. And we want to respond to it. We want to call it out. But then we don't want to feed into it because this is exactly what the reaction that she's trying to get. So like that's I mean, that's another conversation that we're constantly having.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Hey, you got to do what you got to do. You got to keep everything under the desk, pull it out as needed. Yeah, if you can make it three months without resorting to that, I'm impressed.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Yeah. Or they're out there starting podcasts. Gavin Newsom just is starting a new podcast. I'm like, oh, OK.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Exactly. It was so funny. I mean, yeah, that whole I thought, well, we couldn't have written that any better.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
It feels a little different this time around. I think... For one, I think we all feel fatigued. I mean, there's so much fatigue because we had his first administration, the first four years, then there was the campaigning for the next. And it's not like he ever really went away. So we've been covering him this whole time.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And now for the second administration, the biggest change is probably that things are moving along at such a rapid pace. There is a lot that he is doing. I guess you've got to give him credit for that. He's seeing things through. Whether they're effective or helpful in any way, that's debatable. But he is getting stuff done, which is what he said he would do.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
So the pace in which things are happening is real rapid. And it hit us... Right after the inauguration, it was like the first week that he was president, we kept getting these like news bombs at 4.45 p.m. And we taped the show at 6. And then the second it started happening, we went, oh, right. That's what this is like. That's right.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
This used to happen for the first four years where like he would just do something at the end of the day and we'd have to upend the show and rewrite the opening or whatever. So I think the pace is moving much more quickly. There are a lot fewer guardrails.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I think there were a lot of people in his administration before that were kind of old school Republicans that were going to kind of keep him in line. And now he's able to appoint whoever he wants, this media star and that media personality. And so it feels a lot more out of control right now.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Do you think any of that will change in terms of... people in the Republican Party standing up and saying, you know what? No, this is not what we want. You know, it seems like no one is doing that currently. Do you think that would change? What would be the thing that would change course on that?
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Oh, that's such a good question. We will win if that's OK with you. And then someone else in the Democratic Party would say, no, no, I think it should be we will win. And then someone else would be like, we will win. No, it should be that. And then they wouldn't be able to decide on what the rallying cry is. And it would just be pure chaos.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Oh, the issue that makes me absolutely rage would probably be subway train delays. That would be top of mind.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Yeah, I think everything has been a little bit better since congestion pricing. I hate to admit it, but... I know, me too. Yeah. But we did publicly just now. Yeah, we did. We'll cut that part out, right? Yeah, totally. What about chilling out about? Chilling out about... This is... This is so, this is so small and I don't even know if you're, are you on, are you on blue sky? Yes. Okay.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
There's a lot of, it's a weird place. There's a lot of discussion on blue sky, not wanting to be X and a lot of like,
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
tampering down on having a variety of perspectives on blue sky there's a lot of like you can't say that here that's toxic that's you know and it's like no no there's it's not abusive it's not toxic it's just a varying varying opinions and i think there's we can't be so afraid to share varying opinions and have calm thoughtful discourse you know and Again, it's so small.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I don't even know if this is like a thing, but it's just something that I was noticing. People were jumping off of X and hopping on blue sky or threads, but then wanting to police people only having one perspective, one frame of mind. And that's not what this is all about.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I think we have to be able to go to places and have thoughtful conversations and disagree and hopefully, you know, come out a better way through all of it. Which is why I appreciate your podcast and what you're doing. I think what you and Scott are doing here is so amazing. And your work on Fox is, I mean, I just, it's a masterclass.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
To all of it. It's exhausting. It's cathartic. I think it depends on the day. I mean, some days are more exhausting than others. But, you know, I'm someone who likes to be tapped in to what's going on. I completely understand the urge to... pull the plug on news every now and again and take mental health breaks and just sort of disconnect from it all. I get that.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Well, thank you. You're over there doing God's work. So thank you for the work that you do, truly.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And I think people should absolutely do that when they need to. But I do like to be tapped in. And so for me to be able to process all Everything that's happening in the world, politically and otherwise, with a room full of my funniest friends is... I mean, that is... that's cathartic. For us, we get to kind of find the joy and find the humor in the wild things that are happening.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And sometimes it's really hard to find it. I agree with that, for sure.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Well, I, you know, I loved The Daily Show all through my 20s and watched John and the other all the correspondence religiously and thought, like, that is what I want to do. I want to be a correspondent on that show. And that's something that I, you know, I auditioned for The Daily Show three different times over the course of many years.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And when I got the job, it was, you know, it's been a dream job. It's continued to be a dream job. I never... set out to host a late night show. I never thought that that would be part of my destiny. So to get the chance to do this, you know, even every few weeks is like, that's beyond anything I could have ever imagined. But it is, it's so much fun. I'm having the time of my life.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
It's like, it's flexing a different muscle for sure. The pace of the show moves so much more quickly when you're sitting at the desk. You have to make decisions very quickly about, you know, what you want the show to look like and what your point of view is on a particular story. even if you're just hearing it.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
But I think for me as a performer, just creatively, the role of a correspondent is it's very specific and you're playing a character and you're playing a heightened point of view and often you're embodying something ironically, right? The other perspective. And as a host, you're yourself.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Like, I get to sit there and be myself and think about, like, what do I really think about this and what do I want to say here? And, you know, of course, with the help of several Emmy-nominated writers who make us all look good. No big deal. No big deal. But it was really freeing to get to do that, to kind of shed the armor of the character and be like, all right, this is cool. This is...
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
This is I'm just going to be me. And this is just kind of share what I think about the news of the day.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Yeah. I mean, we have a full staff of producers who do a lot of heavy lifting. We have excellent producers who help book the guests and do pre-interviews and pitch ideas for guests. And obviously, like, a full staff of writers and a whole studio production team that provides the footage of the top news stories of the day. But we get to curate. Like, we really do... Yeah, absolutely.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Any guest that is booked, there's always a conversation with us, whether we've pitched them or they've the the producers have pitched to us. It's always a it's a conversation. So it's exciting. It's like there's nothing. And that is that's become my favorite part of the show is getting to have people on. who can come on and be experts in their field. Like, I'm not an expert in everything.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I count on people to come on and teach me about what they're working on. There's no one more passionate than having an author on who's just spent, you know, five years writing their passion project. It's fun for us.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
It's so funny. It's like... For so many years, it's like, hold on. No, we're supposed to be the clowns. We're the funny ones. And we're trying to find the comedy and heighten from what's actually happening. But there are so many wild comedic characters in the political world right now that it does feel like we'll show a clip and we're no longer the clowns.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
We're the straight people and we're reacting to the madness and the humor that's happening out in the world. So it's challenging. You do have to kind of pivot a little bit. For when I do Fox Blains, I think that the bar on having to heighten and heighten and heighten as we go has become more challenging. So that like... Yeah, you can't always out-parody parody.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Like, it feels like, you know, Trump himself, whether you agree with him or not, whether you're a fan of Trump or not, as a comedic character, he's hilarious. I mean, just as a person himself. his personality traits are very, very funny, and he's completely uncensored. So the way that he talks and does the swerve, the bob and weave, and following his logic is funny.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
So you sometimes can't try to out-funny that. You kind of have to just react to it.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Well, I understand why people feel that way. But I think I think the job that we've always tried to do is to find the comedy on all sides of things. And John has always done that. That's not a hundred percent. It's not new. No. Right. That's not new. And, you know, I think there is there are blind spots on both sides for sure.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And to decide, you know, every day you have to go, OK, what am I going to talk about today? And just from a purely creative place, you don't want to be shouting about the same thing every single episode. So I think we do look for ways to vary up the show and talk about different issues and kind of like, you know, find the hypocrisy and the humor on all sides of the issues.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I understand that when the stakes—I think the challenge for us sometimes in finding the humor in Trump is when the stakes feel so high or it's a particularly precarious issue, it can be hard to let go and laugh about it because it's hard to not have the perspective of— Oh, but we're we could really be fucked. Like there's nothing funny about that. But but we're not.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I think we we keep telling people like we are a comedy show. It's our job to find the humor. OK. And like for us, it feels cathartic. We hope it feels cathartic for other people. But it's to your point, like that's something that we talk about every single day. And, you know, sometimes there are bigger fish to fry.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And sometimes you go like, do I want to jump into that outrage machine right now on this one issue? You know, the Gulf of America, are we going to pounce on this? And even though that something like that is... Perfect for you guys. And concerning, but it's like... You know, we don't want to waste all of our outrage on one thing and then, you know, he's flooding the zone.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
So I think just to keep ourselves from being completely exhausted, we have to sort of pace ourselves and pick and choose our battles.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Yeah, I think, you know, we try not to get bogged down by that when we... When we all first came into this setup at the beginning of last year with John coming back on Mondays and the four of us rotating, we had a meeting and John was so gracious and encouraging and just like just wanted to check in with us and say like, hey, this is new. This is going to be working a new muscle.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
Being a correspondent is one thing. Being at the desk is a vulnerable experience. you're going to feel pressure to say something incredibly insightful every show. You know, like John has, he's very aware that he built a particular DNA in the show and that there's sort of an expectation that the show has because of that and because of what he brings to it.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And so I think he didn't want any of us to feel that pressure to take on like us having to change the world Tuesday through Thursday. And he's like, just go out there, find what makes it yours, and try to make the funniest, smartest shows that you can every single night. That's it. Don't take on the burden of changing this or changing that or, you know, don't put too much pressure on yourselves.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And I think we continue to remind ourselves of that.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
I don't know how effective it is from a political perspective. I certainly understand it. I get it. Like, I understand the impulse to do that. And, you know... Is it effective? Is it resonating with the party? I don't know. But I think there's room for all of it.
Raging Moderates with Scott Galloway and Jessica Tarlov
Desi Lydic on Comedy, Chaos, and Covering Trump (Again)
And I think the most important thing right now is that our legislators and people who are in positions of power are speaking up and saying something about And then you have protests and you have activism. And, you know, in times like this, you want people to make their voices heard. And they're going to do that in a million different ways. And I think there's a place for all of it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Let's kick things off with the war in Ukraine. Donald Trump promised he could secure a peace deal within one day of taking office, which means he is now negative 34 days ahead of schedule. Good work, sir. As we know, the Ukraine war began in 2022 when Putin invaded Ukraine on three separate fronts while launching missile attacks on Ukrainian cities. Or as Donald Trump puts it...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
man that last guy was so ready to get mad he didn't even wait for the answer i have a question you suck oh now look personally i'm glad to see people pushing back against doge but even if you support doge you have to acknowledge that seeing real people voicing their opinion to their elected representatives is a lot better than seeing Trump going to town on Elon's feet. Just disgusting.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
It's disgusting. And you will never see that video here. You won't. Instead, we're gonna have some serious analysis about this counter movement to Doge. So let's go to Doge headquarters with Michael Kosta. People are not happy with Doge.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yeah, I see what you're saying. It's not what you cut, it's how you cut it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Oh, tell me about it. I've been laid off before, and it is always too sloppy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Absolutely. And I got to say, I have never seen you look more professional. Where did you learn so much about government? Was that at college?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Wait, hold on. So if one foot represents the federal government, what does the other foot represent?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is a beloved comedic actor known for her work in Reno 911, Bridesmaids, and The Goldbergs. She now stars in St. Denis Medical on NBC. Please welcome Wendy McClendon-Covey.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
That's an interesting interpretation in that it's not what happened. In fact, it's the exact opposite of what happened. And this has set off alarm bells for a lot of conservatives, including Brian Kilmeade, Trump's buddy and the Joey Tribbiani of Fox & Friends. He tried to gently push back when Trump started to blame the destruction of Ukraine on President Zelensky.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm such an enormous fan of yours everything you do I mean bridesmaids biggest.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
I mean, that was like a 20-year span. What is the... Isn't that crazy? Being that I'm so young. Impossibly. Yeah. But what is the secret? What's in the secret sauce for how to have such, like, great longevity with these projects?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
That's all you got to do, yeah. That's all it is. Well, no problem. Sign me up. No problem, you guys.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Well, maybe the secret sauce is you. That's probably the truth. Let's be best friends, okay. You you started at the ground like I did yeah, you're in the main company and the groundlings if you don't know is a famous improv theater that is responsible for breeding just the top comedy talent of us about everybody on SNL.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
And yeah. How did that training prepare you for your comedic journey, all these roles that you play?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
You had planned on doing that. Poetry.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
They taught stunt work at the Groundlings. I got to witness your improv skills on a tiny little project that we did many years ago that never saw the light of day.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yes. You were a kitten. That's what we'll go with. Yes, no, she was so young. As were you. Right. But this project had, it was you and Jane Lynch and Sam Pancake, Jack Plotnick. It was all improvised, kind of like a Curb Your Enthusiasm. And it was only like two days of filming. But that was such a master class for me to get to watch you and Jane show up to the party.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
be a good improviser, a great listener, but show up with the goods. It really was like, that was probably such a nothing thing for you, but it was very impactful for me, so thank you.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
absolutely an angel because you came in at the 11th hour like literally she was cast at what nine o'clock at night and six in the morning you're on set with us yeah but that just shows that they were desperate i was that's when i got all my jobs and they were very desperate like let's just hire the next person that walks in the door okay fine she'll do okay can i tell you something embarrassing about that job
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Please.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
So they didn't talk about invest good investments at the ground. Yeah, that's too bad. It was a terrible show. Yeah. Terrible. It's no St. Denis Medical, I'll tell you that much. Perfect segue. Oh, yes, thank you. Yes, and. Yes, and. I truly, the show is so funny, and you're phenomenal in it. And I heard that you received the script the day that the Goldbergs ended.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Oh, that's right. Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
It shows. Incredible. It really shows in the show. One of the things that I appreciate so much about it, it's laugh out loud funny. It's very, very funny. But all of the characters have these huge blind spots for comedic reasons. But never are they completely inept at their jobs. And so it is sort of a love letter to health care workers.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Have you had anyone come up to you, any actual health care workers come up to you and say, thank you for making the show? I watch the show.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
One of my favorite things about your character that I notice is that she wears these, like, enormous brooches on her lapel. She'll wear, like, a breast cancer research pin. And then the next day, it'll be a giant hummingbird that's just slightly too large for the lapel. Yeah. It tells you so much about that character. She's very, like, front-facing. Was that something that you came up with?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Sometimes you just need a hummingbird. You know, there are some days. It softens a lot of blows. Softens the blows. Well, at this point, you have played a fake cop. Yes. A fake doctor, hospital administrator, a fake mom in the 80s. Mm-hmm. Knowing your track record, this show's going to last for 27 seasons. I hope so, Desi. We've got to get you in there. Yeah, sign me up. Come on.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
But what do you wish to do next for a fake job? Oh, for a fake job next?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
I really think I'd be good at it. Footwork or no footwork? We'll get to it. We'll get to it. Yes, okay, okay. Well, sign me up because I'd like to buy a boat. That's what I'm in for. St. Dennis Medical airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on NBC and streams on Peacock. Wendy McClendon Covey, everybody. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
But before we go, Comic Relief is putting on a show to raise money to support the most vulnerable communities affected by the L.A. wildfires. The show is called Comic Relief Stand Up for L.A. It's on March 3rd. It's in New York City. I will be there. Jon Stewart will be there. Josh Johnson will be there. For more info and to buy tickets or to donate, please go to the link below.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Now here it is, your moment of zen.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
But this is how off the rails Trump is. His beloved Fox News is saying, Mr. President, you sound crazy, and I believe DEI causes tornadoes. And he's right. Not about the DEI causing tornadoes. We all know trans people cause tornadoes. But about this war. Under Donald Trump, America has fully taken Russia's side, which means, are we the bad guys now? Well, that didn't answer that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
But I think we might be the bad guys. It's not just Republicans who are alarmed. The entire continent of Europe is freaking the f*** out. If the United States will help Russia take over Ukraine, who's next? Poland? Latvia? Slovenia? Slovakia? Albania? Estonia? Yeah, I got a 97 in AP Geography. Thank you. Thank you. I would have gotten 100, but I misspelled my name.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
So yesterday, Europe tried to get Trump back on its side by sending over its most charismatic Trump whisperer, Emmanuel Macron of France. And right from the start of that meeting, you could really see how he let his guard down.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yeah, Trump just loves the French accent. Probably because it's the native tongue of his hero, Pepe Le Pew. Something about that pervert skunk that Trump finds so relatable. But Macron's accent gives him a lot of leeway to gently correct Trump every time he spews bullshit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Look at him. Look at that smile. The guy is smitten. Usually, if someone confronts him about being wrong, he takes away their security detail. But he's letting Macron do whatever he wants. I think a sexy accent is his kryptonite. I assumed it was vegetables, but to be fair, it's not just Macron. Trump was swooning over anyone with a sexy accent.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Oh, oh, Italy. I love that restaurant with the grocery store attached. Oh, now... Love it. So good. Now tell me, which section are you from? Fromaggio? Produce? Self-checkout? By the way, Trump is the only person on earth who has ever asked an Italian person to talk louder. Of course, as we saw last week, not every accent does it for him. Sometimes it just confuses him.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Dude, come on. If you don't understand what someone is saying, don't be rude and dismiss them. Just laugh and go, oh, my God, that's so crazy, like a normal person. I mean, is Trump sure that he wants to be president? Because this is the worst job in the world if you don't understand accents. It's like working as an escort if you're still not 100% sure which hole it's supposed to go in.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Although, would that actually make you a great escort? Hmm. I guess we'll never know. By the way, if you're wondering how tough Indian accents are for Trump, he had to get a translator for it. Not for the language, for the accent.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
But if you do have to have a translator for accents, why does the translator also have an accent? Maybe the plan was to have a string of translators with slightly less of an accent until they finally got to something Trump could process. Eventually, it'll just be the word Bangladesh written across the boobs of a swimsuit model. Oh, now I get it. Anyway, back to Macron.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Now, you might think that it's not wise for Europe to hinge its survival on the seductive power of Macron's accent, but Trump himself admitted that it works.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Hold on. Hold on. Forget the accent. What was going on with that handshake? Are they doing the, no, you hang up, but with their hands? Before we figure out Russia and Ukraine, we need a peace deal for the world's weirdest thumbworm. So maybe this isn't going to come down to words at all, because if you've noticed how Trump and Macron interact, their hands alone tell a story.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
When we come back, we'll tell you who's being mean to Elon Musk, so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Welcome back to The Daily Show. Let's talk about Doge. It's the reason an 18-year-old virgin has your Social Security number. But Elon Musk has been trying to find ways to fire as many federal workers as possible. And this weekend, he tried out his new method by sending an email that shouldn't have been a meeting or an email.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Ah, the hallmark of a good boss. He gives you busy work that also makes you scared. This is such an insane idea. Just for starters, let's say everyone does respond. Who the f*** is going to read 2.4 million emails? I say this as someone... I say this as someone who has an inbox with 2.4 million unread emails. It is too many emails to read.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
We've got so much to talk about tonight. Elon Musk gets marked as spam. Russia and America share friendship bracelets. And Trump sticks a foot in his mouth. But for once, it's not his own. So let's get right into it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Hey, Pottery Barn, if you tell me about one more throw pillow sale, I will kill myself and the blood will be on your hands, also on your throw pillows. Don't test me. And I know you gave my email to William Sonoma. Anyway, as shocking as this may be, federal workers do not seem very happy about being sent threatening emails, and they're making their voices heard in unusual ways.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Look at how inappropriate this fake video of the president slobbering all over Elon Musk's foot knobs is. So inappropriate. And that is why we will never be showing this to you. It's called journalistic integrity. Thank you. Although it has to be said that making that video and hacking the screens took a lot of work.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
And I really hope whichever federal employee did it included that in their list of five accomplishments. I definitely feel bad for the guy in the HUD office who learned about his latent foot fetish in the worst possible way. Oh no! Oh no! And it wasn't just the rank and file who pushed back on Elon's ultimatum. Some of Trump's own cabinet members told their departments the email wasn't official.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Kash Patel told the FBI, don't respond to that email. Tulsi Gabbard said, don't respond to that email. Pete Hegseth responded to that email saying, you up? That was irrelevant. But all this infighting is confusing. Can someone please clarify the situation here? Mr. President, do people have to answer this email or not?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Yeah, that clears up everything. It's voluntary, but if you don't answer it, you're fired. Okay. At this point, the only thing more confusing than that email is that AI video that is totally inappropriate for television. I mean, they gave Elon two left feet. Weird and gross. And that's why we will not be showing it to you. It's called moral courage. Moral courage.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon's Email Ultimatum, French Accent Diplomacy, Feet Stuff | Wendi McLendon-Covey
Now look, you would expect some pushback within the federal government, but the surprising thing is there's also some pushback from outside the federal government.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Just a few things. So you were inspired to run in the wake of the 2016 election. You literally sat down at your computer and Googled how to run for office.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
What compelled you to want to jump into the world of politics?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Refresh my memory. It didn't go great.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Ugh. I, too, Googled how to run, but I just stopped right there. Turns out you just put one foot in front of the other. It's easier than I assumed. So your book is titled Hate Won't Win. I'm just curious, considering the last election results, are you planning a follow-up book called, OK, best two out of three? Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
You're saying we should not do that. We should not. We should not, yeah. I should not do. Don't do. Don't spiral, you said? Yeah, yeah. OK, got it. Doom scrolling, not advised. Doom scroll, not good. Got it. OK.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
I'm not an economist, but it's probably a bad sign when the chart itself looks like it jumped off the roof. Look at that drop. Six Flags is going to make a roller coaster of that. Mom, I want to ride the Dow Jones. We can't afford it. So the economy is incredibly unstable right now. The only upside is that this crash is much easier to understand than the 2008 one.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
This title, Hey, What, When, came from a really powerful moment from a speech that you made on the floor of your state senate in Michigan that went viral.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Millions and millions of views, and it all came out of you being targeted by a political rival. Talk about that moment where you not only found your voice, but realized the power that it had.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
I love, there are so many nods to your mom in this book and how she brought you up, how she raised you, the values that she instilled in you. And I love the piece of advice that she gave you after that video went viral, after that speech. She gave you great advice about what you were, this is great, but what are you going to do next?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Remember the big short where they had to have Margot Robbie explain it in a bathtub? Here's how that would go today.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Good mom. Good mom.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
You said you just announced that you're running for U.S. Senate. That's right. The Democratic Party is struggling a bit right now. Don't have a whole lot of power, although I will say watching Senator Booker hold his pee for 24 hours was more inspiring than I ever anticipated. Truly the moment we needed. But if you were in the U.S. Senate right now, what would you be doing?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
What would you like to see different?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Thanks, Margo. Thank you. So the president may have single-handedly tipped us into a global recession. And with so much uncertainty, the world is glued to the financial news networks, who are surely focusing on this story 24-7. Right, Fox Business?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Yeah. Thank you. So many Democrats are in the position of having to react all the time and say, this is what we're going to stop. This is what we're going to end. And there's there seems to be a lack of vision, a lack of clarity for an actual plan moving forward. So it's good to hear.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
It's nice to hear that you are proposing that you're thinking about these things, because I think that is what the Democratic Party needs. The whole back half of your book is essentially a how-to guide for people who might want to not just run for office, but get more involved politically or in their communities.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
If you could give people at home one piece of advice for how to get more engaged, what would it be?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Yes, that's definitely the big story. The president made new friends today. So yes, economists are afraid that we're headed into a recession, but don't worry. Things could still improve quickly as long as Trump de-escalates soon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Got it?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Couldn't agree with you more. Thank you. What is something that people do to get involved that you think is a complete waste of time? Because frankly, I would like to cross a few things off my list.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Excellent advice. It is such a treat to have you here. Thank you. I think you're one of the most exciting voices in the Democratic Party, so good luck to you. Thank you for being here. Congrats on your book, too.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Hate Won't Win is available now. We're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Okay, this is getting really serious. We'll know exactly how serious once we ask China to do the math for us, but... Point is, Trump is out of control right now. I'd say he's like a bull in a china shop, but at 104%, I can't afford to say that. It's really starting to feel like the entire world is teetering on the brink of chaos.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
It's honestly impossible to report on literally anything else right now. Right, Fox News?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
No, not the British women's pool tournament. That's America's favorite pastime. But the tariffs aren't just tearing apart our economy and tearing apart America's trade with China. They're also tearing apart Donald Trump's friends.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Oh, I have to pick between Elon Musk and Peter Navarro? This is like the trolley problem, if the problem was that you only have one trolley. But you know what, this is actually a substantive debate. Elon likes free trade, Peter Navarro likes the tariffs. Let's start with Navarro's argument.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
OK, that's a compelling point. Peter Navarro thinks Musk is taking advantage of unfair trade policies at the risk of American prosperity. Elon, what's your response?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Powerful counterpoint. God, I hope Elon Musk never has to defend himself in court. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, gay! I rest my case. Getting this glimpse into Trump's team of dum-dum rivals is even more disturbing. The president is sending the economy off a cliff. Business leaders are furious with him.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
His team is tearing each other apart, and the two biggest economies on the planet are entering a trade war. It might be time for the news organizations that supported him to come to terms with why they supported him in the first place. What do you say, Newsmax?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Put me down for or what? For more on the trade war between U.S. and China, we go to the Chinese embassy with our senior financial correspondent, Michael Kosta. Michael, what's your analysis?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Sorry. Your grandfather's dildo factory?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Your grandfather's dildo factory is in Guangdong?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
I'm Desi Lydic. We've got so much to talk about tonight. America imports a beef with China. People are getting frisky with statues. And Fox News sees the stock market and goes, hey, look over there. So let's kick things off with another installment of Trade Wars.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
With such a proud history, why wouldn't your grandfather keep making his dildos in America?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Mm-hmm. But I would think with time, his company could work its way fully inside America, no?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Wait, sorry, factories? Your grandpa has more than one dildo factory?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Three hole punches? So it's not just sex stuff?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Oh, ouch. Michael Kosta, everybody. That's just what it is, yeah. When we come back, Ronnie Chang will defend the honor of some statues, so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
When it comes to the news, some stories are serious, some stories are inspiring, and some stories are just stupid. And for those, we turn to Ronny Chieng in a segment we call Everything is Stupid.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
Terrific. It's been one week since Donald Trump announced his bold vision for destroying the economy. And guess what? His plan is working.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Escalates China Trade War, Fox News Ignores Market Slide | Mallory McMorrow
is the majority whip of the Michigan State Senate and the author of the book, Hate Won't Win. Please welcome Mallory McMorrow. Thank you so much for being here. What an exciting time to have you. There's so much going on.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Let's try some role play. Take a look at this scenario.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
And freeze. Do you see what went wrong here? Let's try it again with all our DEI training forgotten.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Perfect. If you witness something that seems a little DEI, don't hesitate to reach out to a white manager.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Thank you for watching this video on how to un-DEI your office. With these tools, you...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
When we come back, Nicole Avon will be joining me on the show, so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is the best-selling author of Think You'll Be Happy and critically acclaimed producer of the Netflix film The Six Triple Eight. Please welcome Nicole Avant. I'm so happy. I'm so delighted to have you here. I was so excited to meet you. You're not only a critically acclaimed producer, author, you're an entrepreneur, you're a philanthropist.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
You were the former ambassador to the Bahamas.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Leave some for the rest of us, okay? You are a busy woman.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
It's a very good thing. I'm grateful you're as busy as you are.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
You certainly are this movie was incredible. The 6 triple 8. It was just nominated for an Oscar for best original.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
It perfectly suits the story. Tell us about the story behind the 6888. I hadn't heard the story, which is crazy to me of these incredible legendary women, these patriots who changed the war. Where did you learn about the story and how did you make this happen?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Don't take the bait, Desi. Don't take the bait. Be the bigger person. Be the bigger person. That's right, Elon Musk, the world's richest man and guy who cheers in the wrong parts of Saving Private Ryan. Trump promised us that he'd give Elon full access to the federal government. Pull it to the side and get all up in it. And unlike his wedding vows, this is a promise he kept.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
In the most beautiful way. Thank you. Thank you. Congratulations. Thank you. I'm grateful that that story was told in that way. I want to talk about your family. Your father, Clarence Avant, was a legend in his own right, music producer. There's an incredible documentary, The Black Godfather. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. On Netflix. It's on Netflix. Yes. You produced it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
And you also wrote this incredible book, Think You'll Be Happy. And you set out to write a self-help book. And this unimaginable tragedy happened in your family. And you suddenly had to change course. And you decided to tell that story. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
It is such a beautiful, beautiful tribute to her. There was one part of your book that really stood out to me. There was, shortly after it happened, one of your first initial thoughts was, please God, don't let me hate this man. And I thought, oh my God, in a moment of that shock and grief, where do you reach for that level of grace?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
I'm so in awe. I'm just so in awe of your ability to move through grief like that and find purpose and to give this gift of a book to other people who are experiencing grief. For those out there right now who are experiencing some kind of grief, what would your advice be to them? What was most helpful for you?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
I want to ask about your former role as the ambassador to the Bahamas. Diplomatically speaking, how sweet is that gig?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Yeah. Yeah, Elon Musk has access to your social security number, and that is not cool. If you want our personal data, Elon, you go buy it off the dark web like everyone else, okay? Now, you might be thinking, I don't want white nationalist Tony Stark to have sole control of the inner workings of the federal government. But relax. It's not just Elon. He has a fully equipped team.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Yeah, don't tell me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
I'm curious about, you were hugely instrumental in getting President Obama elected. All of your work fundraising in those early days, what did you learn about organizing at that time? Give us a little hope for a future. I mean,
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
There's real power in just getting people into a room together. I thought that was such a beautiful takeaway.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
You have two incredible parents, and I know that you are making them so very proud. Thank you for being on. Thank you. Congratulations on everything. You are loved. You are loved. Thank you.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
It's exciting to see you on Netflix. I think you'll be happy it's available now. Nicole Amon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Great, Big Bowls has my social security number. Now I feel better. I know we complained about our leaders being too old, but doesn't this go a little too far in the other direction? Surely there must be a middle ground somewhere between crypto bros and crypt keepers.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Not only that, Musk has been installing his big balls in a whole bunch of little-known agencies that are crucial in actually running the government. The GSA, the OPM, the OMB, the OC, and SVU. And of course, the big question about this takeover and the question we'll be asking ourselves a lot over the next four years is, is this legal? Which brings me to our new segment, Is That Legal?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
To help us out, we go to our very own Troy Iwata. Troy... Thank you for acting as our resident legal expert.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Perfect. Can you help us find out if it's legal for Musk and his Lost Boys to access the sensitive information of the federal government?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Oh, okay, great. Well, we'll check back in in a minute. Thank you, Troy. Now, Elon Musk isn't just going to get full access to the federal government just to sit back and watch it function like he's some sort of cuck. No, he's going to jump in there and do some cutting.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Yes, the richest man in the world is cutting off aid to poor countries. Why can't you just be a normal billionaire and co-host Shark Tank or run an NBA team into the ground? I'm not saying there's not some cuts to be made in foreign aid spending you just don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater or what's the expression, I'm looking for.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
OK, we get it. We get the metaphor. You don't have to keep saying worms over and over again. You know, I have a metaphor, too. Elon Musk's charisma reminds me of a ball of worms. Of course, USAID was codified by an act of Congress. So if Trump thinks he can have Elon Musk kill it, he must have a strong legal reason for why he can do that without an act of Congress.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Or not. Why should he know? He's just the president. Fortunately, we have a legal expert who can help answer that question. Let's go back to Troy Iwata.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Troy, I got another one for you. Is it legal for the president to shut down USAID without an act of Congress?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Well, Troy, we kind of need to know this now. We have to keep up with Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
No, do both first.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Thank you. Now, obviously, Republicans are standing by Musk for the most part. They say that Trump ran on cutting spending, and this is all just a part of that. But is there perhaps a senator who could make that point in the weirdest, creepiest way possible? I like omelets.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Did we really have to learn all about this guy's sex life just so he could get to a common expression? I can only climax when someone steps on my balls. Anyway, there's no use crying over spilt milk. Look, I don't know if I understand Senator Kennedy's metaphor, but I definitely understand why he's been banned from Denny's.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Anyway, if you're looking for Senator Kennedy's wife, she's the woman in the grocery store yelling at the eggs, you stay away from my husband, you pastry slut! Well, I'm never... I'm just kidding. I'm sure she prefers eggs to having sex with him, too. But Elon Musk isn't the only one having people finger-banging their eggs Florentine with excitement.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Donald Trump is also reducing the government workforce, although his interests seem to be less about cost-cutting and more about sweet, sweet revenge.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
What the f***? These agents were doing their job enforcing the law, and now they're getting fired? That is not how it works. I cannot believe I have to explain firing to the star of The Apprentice. That was your whole fake job. And this is obviously just the beginning, because Trump is going to be targeting everyone that's ever come after him. And I just want to say, I'm not scared.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
I'm Desi Lydic. We've got so much to talk about tonight. We say RIP to DEI. A senator wants to fertilize the wrong kind of egg. And the inventor of the Cybertruck thinks our government looks stupid. So let's get into the latest in another installment of the second coming of Donald J. Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
So, Mr. Trump, bring it on, okay? Bring it on. That's coming from me, Jordan Klepper. K-L-E-P-P-E-R. Now, obviously, of course, the big question over Trump firing the FBI agents is, is that legal? Troy? What? I'm still doing the other stuff. Don't worry about that stuff, but also finish that stuff and add on this new stuff.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Find out if the president's executive powers include the termination of officials ordered by the former attorney general to investigate the criminal actions of his accomplices.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
The truth is, practically everything Trump is doing these days is in a legal gray zone. Just today, he announced an executive order dismantling the Department of Education. He started a sovereign wealth fund. He's considering deporting U.S. prisoners to El Salvador, and he's ordered billions of gallons of water to be wasted in central California. Troy?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Is the sovereign wealth education citizen deporting water wasting legal? How many more questions are there going to be? Eight more every hour for the next four years. Jesus Christ.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Well, is it? I don't know! Troy, look, I know, I know this is a hectic pace, but it's important that we find out the answers so we can be as informed as possible about whether this administration's actions are legal. Don't you agree? Troy? Wait. Where's Troy?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
What? Is that legal for Elon Musk to fire one of our employees?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Wait, who are you? Are you Big Balls?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Oh, goddammit. Floppy Taint, everyone. When we come back, we'll cleanse your workplace so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Welcome back to The Daily Show. As we all know, Donald Trump is no fan of DEI because it gives minorities the jobs that belong to his sons. And now that he's president, he's committed to getting rid of diversity initiatives and not just in the federal government.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
Wait, Lowe's had DEI for its employees? From walking around their stores, I didn't even know they had employees. That's where I go to be alone. Of course, if you're in charge of a corporation that's trying to suck up to the president, you might need some help purging your office of DEI. Luckily for you, The Daily Show has a training video. Hello.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
We all know Donald Trump isn't a details kind of guy. We elected him to come up with big brilliant ideas like renaming the Gulf of Mexico. No one else could have thought of that or should have thought of that. But it's okay that he's not big on details because during the campaign he promised us that he knew a guy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
If you're watching this, your company has decided to get rid of its DEI programs.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
This training video will help you unlearn all that stuff.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Elon Musk's Gov't Purge, Trump's J6 Revenge, Is Any of This Legal? | Nicole Avant
In this new era, fostering an inclusive workplace is no longer a priority. Isn't that right, Jamarcus?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya
Well, John, I'll tell you what I won't be covering. President Trump wasting government resources to check in on the gold at Fort Knox. What a nothing burger. I mean, there is no need to investigate or count it or do an inventory on Vault 84C. He's unhinged. Unhinged.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya
What are you, a cop? No, I... Just trust that all the gold is there, John. Every last bar.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon Stewart Challenges DOGE's Reckless Budget Cuts | Rupa Bhattacharyya
Yes. Yes, it was. But I brought that gold bar from home. All right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Air Travel
Thank you, Trevor. To show you what we're talking about, we built a full-scale model of American Airlines' proposed 24-inch bathroom. And it is like the walls are closing in, suffocating us like we're trapped in a hopeless marriage. There's barely enough room for a person to sit comfortably, wash their hands, or shave their bikini line at 30,000 feet. Trevor?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Air Travel
Welcome aboard Southwest Airlines. Before takeoff, here are a few ways our Muslim passengers can avoid terrifying their fellow travelers. Don't bring a bag on your flight because bags can have bombs in them. Instead, carry your possessions in your arms at all times. If you speak Arabic, don't. It's a scary language. But don't not speak either, because that's also super suspicious.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Air Travel
Instead, memorize some common English phrases. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Be considerate to your non-Muslim seatmates. Give them fair warning before you make any movements with your hands. I'm about to buckle my seatbelt, not detonate a suicide vest.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Air Travel
And most important, please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exit so that in the event of an angry mob, you'll know where to go with your parachute. Thank you, Muslims, for still somehow choosing Southwest.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
From the White House, I'm Desi Laik.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Oh, you guys didn't get the executive order? We can't do DEI anymore.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Yeah, a white woman.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Look, white women don't make the rules. We just tacitly embrace them through our overwhelming support of Donald Trump as a voting bloc.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Yes, but the white man is my husband, and sometimes he lets me have rights as a treat, and I love my little treats.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Well, the fact is that DEI is over, John, which means only the most competent people will... Hoisted with my own petard.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
No, no, no. No, this is bullshit. I stole this job from Josh on marriage.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Jon on Trump’s Trade War, Attacks on DEI & Myth of “Meritocracy” | Mo Amer
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It goes race, then gender, then height, and then the tiebreaker is a list of establishments your father owns.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
We've got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump is releasing a new line of hats for your weird uncle to wear. America's cover charge is about to go up and Elon Musk does hand stuff. So let's get right into it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
So my guest tonight is a comedian, actor, and Emmy Award-winning writer for SNL. Her latest stand-up special for Netflix is called The Motherlode. Please welcome Rosebud Baker. Whoa. Warm up guy does his job. Yeah, right? Vince isn't a fool. He knows exactly what he's doing. Yeah. I am so happy to have you on. Congratulations on your special. Thank you. I enjoyed it so much.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
I was so excited to have you on to talk about it. So you filmed half of this special when you were eight months pregnant. Yes. and then half of the special after you had your baby, a year after. Yes. Right? So I guess my first question is, why not film for part of your set being actively in labor? I felt like I was missing something, you know?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Yeah, so to speak.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Yeah, well, you know, hindsight.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Today was a big day for Donald Trump. He had a meeting with every member of his cabinet, and he even invited the president. By the way, thanks for dressing up, Elon. Don't let us keep you from a blackjack tournament in 2006. But yes, Elon did have a seat at the table. Well, not an actual seat. He was more looming over it like an Ed Hardy Sith Lord.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
I couldn't agree more. It's so good. What was behind that decision to want to show that part of your journey, like those playing with the dichotomy of those two.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
You talk about your struggle. You labored over the decision of whether to have a child or not. Do you, now you have a... Like my pun. And now you have a one and a half year old daughter. Do you deeply regret it?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
I don't. I really wish that I had your special to watch when I was pregnant because I think so many women think like, oh my god, am I even going to be myself anymore?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Am I going to change? Am I going to? And it was really cool to see you on the other side of it. you know, just brilliantly doing your thing. The thing that stood out the most for me, because I was looking to see your perspective change between pre-baby and post-baby, and you could see that you definitely see things with a different lens. Yeah. But...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
But what was so awesome was that before you had the baby, you were this brilliant comedian who's a great storyteller with impeccable timing. And after the baby, you're a brilliant comedian who's a great storyteller with impeccable timing. And to see that visual representation, it dispelled the bullshit myth of, like, women lose their edge when they become mothers. Well, watch this f***ing special.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Your husband is a good husband. Yes. And is also a stand-up comedian. And still an idiot. And he's the best. Yeah, but he's a good idiot. He's a good idiot. So he's a comedian, you're a comedian. Are you concerned that your daughter's at high risk for becoming a comedian?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Well, if that's the case, then she's got a great role model to look up to. Thank you. One of the things that stands out so much about your comedy is that you just get right to the bone. Like, you are not afraid to talk about things that some might find hard to mine comedy from. You're very honest. You're very raw. You talk openly, like in the clip, about experiencing miscarriage.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
And some reporters wondered if that created tension with the actual cabinet members, given that he keeps trying to fire all of their staff.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
You talk about loss. You talk about grief, postpartum. Is that something that, is it helpful to process all of that stuff through comedy? No.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
If only we could replace RFK Jr. with Patch Adams. Yes. We could just do a little switcheroo. We'd be set, right? Wouldn't that be good? It'd be amazing. Oh, my God. You're incredibly busy as is. You're also an Emmy-winning writer on SNL. Yes. You write on Weekend Update, so you're in the trenches. Do you find it incredibly challenging to stay on top of just the pace of the news all the time?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Like, how do you cope?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Yes, I like that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Pigeon. Yeah. Well, and with bird flu going around, I'm just, they kind of have it coming. You're saving lives. They have it coming. Yeah. Yeah. My God. Thank you for that. Well, you can see Rosebud kicking pigeons around New York City, but you can also see her special, The Motherload. It's streaming now on Netflix. Rosebud Baker, everybody.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
For tonight, before we go, please consider donating to I Support the Girls. They're an organization dedicated to providing essential items like bras and menstrual hygiene products for girls and women experiencing homelessness. If you can, please donate at the link below. Now here it is, your moment of zen.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
It's nice to know that someone gets a vote on whether Elon Musk should be running the country. It would have been awkward if someone started to raise their hand before everyone else started clapping. Me? Oh, no, I wasn't raising my hand. I was just about to do a Nazi salute. Phew, good save. So everyone is proud of the job that Elon is doing, and Elon agrees.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
I'm sorry, you accidentally, very briefly canceled what? I hate to be giving efficiency notes to the efficiency master, but perhaps next time we keep Ebola prevention going the whole time. I mean... Is Elon really asking for credit for only canceling Ebola prevention a little bit? It's like he dropped a baby and went, what? Look how fast I picked it up. Five second rule.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
I think we should be a little more careful, especially when we're already dealing with a measles outbreak. But don't worry, Elon is not in charge of that. RFK Jr. is.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Quick question. When you say we have measles outbreaks every year, are you talking about America or, like, you? Right now, it sounds like you might take out that whole room, and that would be terrible, I want to say.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
But yes, RFK is overseeing the measles outbreak, and he has promised, promised that he will personally, if the hospital allows it, consume all of the corpses of those infected with it. So he's really seeing to it. And this cabinet meeting was kind of a waste of time, okay? But Trump has been getting some stuff done.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
For example, yesterday, he signed an executive order that forces hospitals to be transparent with their prices. And look, that seems like a good idea. And I am perfectly capable of admitting it. When Donald Trump did something good... When Donald Trump did something good... When Donald Trump did something good... I can't say it! I can't say it! Why is this so hard?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Oh, thank God those don't come along very often. Of course, because it's Donald Trump, most people will never hear about this price transparency thing, because at the same meeting, he seemed more interested in doing stuff like this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Okay, first of all, that is way too much text, guys. If your hat needs a bookmark, it's not a good hat. And look, I hate to quibble with the hat, but Trump wasn't right about everything, okay? There were a couple of small things. I don't know. Haitian immigrants weren't eating cats and dogs. There wasn't $50 million worth of condoms sent to Gaza. Belgium is not a city.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
The 2020 election wasn't stolen. China doesn't... China doesn't operate the Panama Canal, nor does it. And the best taco bowls are not made at the Trump Tower Grill. But yes, other than that, Trump was right about everything. Now, I'm not trying to be a hater, but if you're gonna own a hat with a ridiculous lie on it, at least make it a fun, ridiculous lie, which is why I'm selling these.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Garfield did 9-11 hats. Get yours today before he finishes the job. But obviously, Trump didn't bring everybody into the Oval Office just to sell hats. He was there to sell something much more fancy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Oh. Oh, green card privileges plus. See, I was still getting America with ads. Quick question. Quick question, if I'm unhappy with America, can I cancel my subscription after seven days? I am curious, what does this gold card do?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
Did this guy just put a cover charge on America? It's $5 million to get in, but he'll waive it if you bring in three hot girls with you. I mean, I guess it beats the old way of becoming a citizen, which was to marry Donald Trump, but still. I feel like immigrant stories are going to be a lot less inspiring in the future.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
My grandfather came to this country with nothing but $5 million and the clothes in his custom Louis Vuitton five-piece trunk set. Although I have to admit, I don't totally hate the idea of buying your way into a country. Hey, Canada. How you doing, girl? I'm just going to come out and say it. I want to be in you.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
And listen, I don't have five million dollars, but I do have four dollars and a cough drop. And this orange hat. Let's talk about it. Now, you might be thinking, wait a second. If the U.S. is just going to put citizenship up for sale, doesn't that mean that any monster can buy one as long as they're rich? Well, according to Trump, mm-hmm.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
It seems like Trump watched Anora and his takeaway from that movie was, we need to do more to help out that rich Russian teenager. He's so good at sex. But if you're letting Russians come into the country, you've got to be careful, OK? I don't want to engage in stereotypes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
But if you let a Russian in, then there's going to be a smaller Russian inside of him, and then an even smaller Russian inside of him, and on and on and on. There's always another. Bottom line, I'm not sure I like the idea of a special card that gives rich people unique access to America, but if we were going in that direction, we have an idea for how to market it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's $5M Immigrant "Gold Card," Elon's First Cabinet Meeting, | Rosebud Baker
There's one thing we've learned about Elon Musk. It's that he's a very graceful man who's comfortable in his own body. But how did he get that way? Well, good news. We found the man responsible.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
We go crazy trying to keep up with them, and before we can catch our breath, he hits us with something else even more absurd. It is exhausting and unsustainable. So, starting today, no more of that, okay? No more. No more. I have a whole script here full of important issues that I want to talk about. And I'm not going to let Donald Trump distract me with some crazy new idea.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Thank you, Michael. When we come back, Julia Stiles will be joining me on this show.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is an Emmy and Golden Globe nominated actor who's making her feature directorial debut with the film Wish You Were Here. Please welcome Julia Stiles.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Oh, yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Yes. But this is the first time that you've directed a feature, so congratulations. Thank you, yeah. Thank you. It's such a beautiful story. How did this film come about? Was there a point in your career when things sort of clicked into focus and you thought, I really want to direct a movie of my own?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
You deserve it, and all of the work paid off. It really shows. This is a story about young love. It's a beautiful, romantic drama with comedic moments. Was there anything that you discovered in all of your years acting in those types of films that you thought, I really want to do this differently?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
It does. And the lead character has this magical moment with this young man. It's sort of like a whirlwind romance evening. And then he ghosts her. Turns out he has a good reason for ghosting her.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
So you're saying all of the men who have ghosted me over the years, there's probably a great reason for it. Yeah, maybe. You never know.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Yeah.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Yeah. No, they are little kids. We're little kids. Actors and children are both very temperamental, can't go potty by themselves, always need more screen time, so that makes perfect sense. Your lead in this movie, Isabelle Fuhrman, you worked with on Orphan, correct? Yes. No, spoiler, she plays a 30-year-old psychopath in that movie, pretending to be your 10-year-old daughter. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Yes, much, much lighter, more beautiful story. You got to work with a close friend of yours on the score of the film.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Okay, let me just ask, what? And also, what?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
It was such a perfect collaboration for the two of you. I'm curious, you came up as a young actress, teenager in in the world before social media was really a thing now every actor that's coming up is on social media there are platforms and sharing and it's so it's like your personal life is so out there do you look back and go thank god i didn't have that oh my god yes i mean not because i
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work. That is the director in you, too. And that's why your film is so beautiful. And I can't wait to see what you do next. Congratulations on all of it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Reach You Are Here is now available on digital. Julia Stiles, everyone!
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
What the ? Trump is going to turn Gaza into the Riviera? He couldn't even turn Atlantic City into a nicer Atlantic City. If anything, they tore down so many of his casinos, he turned Atlantic City into Gaza. But OK, he wants to rebuild it and he wants to turn it into Mar-a-Lago. At least the Palestinians will have a place to go back to.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
OK, just so I'm clear, your idea is to take over Gaza, rebuild it into Mar-a-Lago and make sure that the Palestinians who live there can't go back. That is the craziest thing he said since yesterday and until tomorrow. Even his chief of staff was shocked. Look at her face. She looks just like she won Best Country Album at the Grammy Awards.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
And of course she shocked he's effectively advocating for ethnic cleansing who could possibly be OK with that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
No, they usually scratch their heads and they say, what the are you talking about? Of course, Bibi is ecstatic at Trump's idea. Look at him. He looks happier than a teenager getting a handjob in the back of a birthright bus. But Bibi aside, this proposal is giving a lot of people whiplash. Trump ran his whole campaign on America first, and now he's out there chanting from the Riviera to the sea.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Even Trump's Republican allies aren't on board. Although, of course, they have to let him down easy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
There's a couple kinks in that slinky. That's how desperate these guys are to not openly disagree with Trump. They're just making up sayings now. Of course, some of his supporters, like Steve Doocy, are trying to give Trump the benefit of the doubt.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Of course, America would never invade another country. You can read all about it in Steve Doocy's American history book, Me Just Got Lobotomy by Steve Doocy. So to summarize, MAGA people think this is dicey. Their eyeballs think it's batshit crazy. And the entire plan is DOA, unless Trump can do some real outreach to the countries in the Middle East.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
And based on his response to reporters from Afghanistan, I don't think he has the skills to do it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Good luck? Live in peace? Why does he sound like he's saying goodbye to E.T.? The people of Earth wish you peace. May your slinky have no kinks. For more on Trump and Gaza, let's go live to the White House with Jordan Klepper. Jordan, is there something I'm missing? This plan just seems crazy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Okay, but what's being proposed is a war crime. Have you considered that?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
How about a two-state solution?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
But the framework for a two-state solution already exists. There's no need for displacement.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Okay, but then they go back to live in Gaza?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
What was so wrong with the two-state solution idea?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Guess we'll have to live in peace. Are you pitching face-off for the Middle East?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Well, I guess we could get the Palestinians to fall in love with Cher. No, no, you're dragging me into this. No.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
How would AI be the solution?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
No, that's it. Brainstorming is over. These are all stupid. And like it or not, bulldozing Gaza and kicking out everyone there is not a real solution. It's cruel. It doesn't make us safer, and it will undeniably make us look like the villains of history.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Oh, my God. Get the f*** out of here. Jordan Klepper, everyone.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
We've got so much to talk about tonight. The Holy Land might be turning into Sin City. Donald Trump is back in the eviction business. And Michael Kosta really needs to use the Starbucks bathroom. But first, let's kick things off with another installment of the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Every day since Trump came into office, he bombards us with ridiculous policies.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Proposes Gaza Takeover, Ko$ta Doin' Business | Julia Stiles
Welcome back to The Daily Show. If you want honest and rigorous financial news, then go eat a dick. But if you want to get rich, then you want Michael Kosta and another installment of Kosta Doin' Business.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Like I told those prosecutors, I'm gonna need a second opinion. So I turned to real-life astronaut Chris Hatfield.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
You don't mean a scam scam. You just mean they told the world that they had a thing, but they didn't actually have the thing, and they couldn't deliver on the thing.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What kind of magician can pull off an illusion this big? I had to find the man behind it all, Mars One CEO Boz Lansdorp. I didn't want him to be suspicious, so I started off slow. Is Mars One a scam?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
As everyone knows, the best way to check to see if something is a scam is to see if it has a website. And like any legitimate space venture, Mars One offers sweet merch and a chance to donate monthly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
According to Davide, when he refused to pay Yelp to advertise, he noticed dozens of five-star reviews disappearing from his Yelp page.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Okay, if President Kennedy and 400,000 people working for NASA could turn a dream into a moon landing, maybe Boz and his team could get us to Mars. How many people do you have on staff at your company?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Seven of the 10 are more involved in the storytelling process?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So if I invest in Mars One, am I investing in a space program or a media story?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So all this time, Mars One was nothing more than a sales pitch sold to us as news? How could the entire world be fooled by this one Dutchman?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Ugh, yeah. Media's the worst. The first step in becoming a truth-telling journalist? Informing Layla that she's been scammed.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So if you're not stealing and you're just fooling somebody, It's innocent.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Basically, yes. Or like when you tell your husband you only slept with his father once.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Well, yeah. I mean, you're not just Italian. You're, like, cartoonishly Italian.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Exactly. A journalist's job is to seek the truth. And to stay sharp. And the best way to stay sharp is with Urbacaine. The only herbal supplement made of 100% cocaine. Urbacaine. Mmm, that feels good. Mars One had a story to sell. And like the customers of My Herbal Supplement, most of the media bought it without examining the product.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
How exactly did Yelp try to extort you? Walk me through.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Maybe that explains Mars One. When you live on a planet where facts no longer matter and the media legitimizes something that was fundamentally empty from the beginning, it's no wonder people want to escape. But fighting for a world where truth counts is a mission I can believe in. Just tell me when we get there.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Florida, God's waiting room. It's home to theme parks, the Everglades, your peepaw, and of course, Florida Man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Every week, there's a new headline out of Florida. Wild, shocking, unnecessarily sexual.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
But have we ever stopped to ask the question, why? Something's happening to men in Florida, and it can't just be a coincidence. As a future Pulitzer-winning journalist, it's my responsibility to uncover the truth, to reveal what lies beneath the swamp, to answer the question, what makes a man Florida Man? Florida Man. Florida Man. Florida Man. Florida Man. Florida Man. Florida Man. Florida Man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Florida Man. First thing I did was some heavy back-channeling, mostly on Craigslist and Facebook. I needed to locate some of these real-life Florida men. First up was Robbie. Last July, he ran into a liquor store with a live alligator, for some reason.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Talk to me about the night that you became Florida man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Not just alcohol, though. There's probably a deep-rooted conspiracy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What was it about Florida that made you do what you did?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
But isn't there something that all Florida men share? There's something behind it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
No, that couldn't be it. And this wasn't the only man affected.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Okay. Um, Alligator Man, what's the common factor among all Florida men?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What kind of dancing did you do with the alligator?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
I see what you're saying about doing the wrong thing in the right way and how it works.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So many Florida men. So many alligators. Surely there's a Florida man who's normal.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Just put it away. Why do you defend what you did?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Your Second Amendment right to shoot a gun into the sun? Yeah, why not? How exactly did you become a Florida man?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Davide's claim that Yelp extorts businesses was a serious allegation, and he's not the only one with a Yelp grievance. In fact, Yelp gets accused of extortion so much that they have an entire page on their website dedicated to explaining how they don't extort businesses. So I went to Yelp's headquarters to meet with their spokesperson, but not just any spokesperson.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What do you think is behind every Florida man?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
And while I was running away from these unusual men, I was heading towards some new ideas. There had to be a common thread. What was I missing? There was something different about this state. So many Florida man stories filling the news. Did Florida reporters know something I didn't? I went to an undisclosed orange grove to meet a very casually dressed journalist to find out.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What can you tell me about these Florida man stories? I mean, I have my own research, but you just give me yours just so we can compare notes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
This nerd knew a lot about Florida, and while he mostly rambled, I was connecting the dots.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
And that's when it hit me, the missing piece of the puzzle.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
It's not what causes Florida Man. It's why we hear about Florida Man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
I just figured it out all by myself. I'm a genius. Florida Man has been the butt of countless jokes, but maybe that's not fair. Well, this guy was pretty weird. The Sunshine Act makes it easier to discover Florida Man stories, but I was just scratching the surface. We may not hear about them as much, but it turns out there are Florida men in every state.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
And while Florida will always be America's petri dish of batshit behavior, the truth is, there's a little Florida man in all of us.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
That's right. Forget about Yelp extorting people. I had to ask season 16's Bachelor what really went down on that horseback ride with Lindsay or the time he totally dumped her.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Yeah, no, yes, absolutely. No, I am 100% a professional and I'm here to talk to you about Yelp. I would never, you know, want to talk about it. Go, go, go, go, get out of here. Go, clean it up. Clean these up. I didn't arrange that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Sorry, excuse me. What would you say to someone who says that Yelp extorts businesses?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So businesses can control the order in reviews that come up, descriptions.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Does it cause you pain being so Italian and seeing your noble tradition of mafia culture be portrayed by these Silicon Valley douchebags?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Choosing who to trust between these two guys was going to be tough. Yelp's business practices are totally legal. But Davide had a point. Harassing businesses and adjusting reviews feels dishonest. Almost as dishonest as calling this Italian-style pizza. In the end, I had to listen to my heart.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Just because it's legal doesn't make it right. I was going to have to let Ben down easy. Ben, I spent a lot of time with Yelp today. And I think it's just that Yelp and businesses are somehow not trusting one another. It just feels like there are some things that Yelp is keeping from businesses. But I really hope that Yelp finds happiness. I'm sure one day they'll make a business very happy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Time. It flies when you're having fun. But it also killed Peapaw. Every March and November, we try to control it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Why do we change our clocks? And does it do more harm than good? Well, as I found out, if you screw with time... Who are you? It just might screw you back. Arizona. It's one of America's top states, alphabetically. But more importantly, their clocks play by their own rules. Arizona has opted out of daylight saving time. They stick to standard time all year.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So I'm here in cactus country to find out how these time bandits can even function living outside of normal time. How has living without daylight saving time completely messed up your life?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
I love the fact that I don't have to worry about changing the clocks. Don't you feel like you're missing out being an hour behind the rest of the country?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
You won't catch up. You're always an hour behind.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
I'm sorry, what? Arizonans seemed happy with their own time laws, not to mention their access to primo desert drugs. But if they were unaffected by not changing their clocks, why do the rest of us do it? I sat down with clock blocker Scott Yates, who's on a mission to permanently stop clock changing.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
But isn't it a good thing to set the clocks forward an hour and gain that extra hour of sunlight?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
I guess for some people, time is up. Solid jokes aside, if this is literally killing people, there has to be a good argument for it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Yelp, the most popular crowdsourced review forum online, and a vital resource when choosing which waxing place doesn't laugh so loudly. But can we trust everything we read on Yelp? One extremely Italian restaurant owner finds Yelp's business practices so devious, he's protesting.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
The old blame the farmer trope. No, honey, I did not have sex with my yoga instructor. It was the farmer. who I had sex with. Why do we even have Daylight Savings Time? Or is it Daylights Saving Times?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Such a German thing to do to make people lose an hour.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
All right, wartime golfers and now candy men are the reason behind DST? Where does that leave us now?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
The deeper I traveled into daylight saving, the deeper I got lost in what time even was.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
And if some states change the clocks and Arizona doesn't, could space and time invert on themselves? Who are you? Better question is, when am I? Future me? Yeah. I'm you during daytime. Save light time. Hold on a second. This is me in an hour? Yeah, this whole changing the clocks thing is really f***ed up. God damn it. If you just locked the clocks, this whole thing would never happen. Ah, yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
The McFly paradox. I knew exactly what to ask me. You know what a 69 is? Yeah, okay. Either America needs to lock the clocks or I need to stop doing peyote on work trips.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Why would you want a one-star review? Sorry, let me ask you in terms you can understand. What's the matter, you?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Mars, humanity's side piece. The worse our relationship gets with Earth, the more we lust after that cold, unattainable hunk just out of reach. Which is why everyone went wild for Mars One, a private company who in 2012 offered four lucky Earthlings a one-way ticket to Mars.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Yet thousands still signed up and paid application fees for a chance to go to Mars forever. Who would do that?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
What would make someone want to take a one-way trip to Mars? You know, aside from just being a woman on this planet right now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
So you're telling me you would choose space over your husband?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Are you sure you don't just need a little bit of space? Like, I tell my husband that I've got book club once a week. There's no book club. I barely read.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
Unfortunately for Leila and 99 other finalists, there's only one problem. Mars One now filing for bankruptcy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
In the Field with Desi Lydic
You know what they should have done? They should have done a pyramid scheme. I had a very successful pyramid scheme going in college. It was basically like Herbalife, but with 100% cocaine. I would sell it. Then I had other people selling it. I would take a cut of it. It was pretty great.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Mehr Follower als Jesus? Easy there, John Lennon. Aber ist all this nano-Influencing only micro-effective?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
You can say that. Okay, so how effective is this program? Are we talking Pfizer-level effective or are we talking like Johnson & Johnson, it's better than nothing?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Und dieser Anti-Vax-Kontent ist mehr infektiös als Covid selbst.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
So maybe the most effective way to clean up the mess that social media has made is with more social media. Like a hair of the dog, when you have a hangover and you drink more alcohol to make it feel better. Or like when you're trying not to catch a virus and you treat your body with tiny amounts of the virus so you don't get it. What's that called? Yes, that's it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
If the only thing to stop bad influence on social media was good influence, I wanted to give our influencers one more shot at going viral. Okay.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
It's okay, we'll workshop it. We'll get there.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Welcome back to The Daily Show. A big challenge of the Covid pandemic has been, well, A, breathing, and B, convincing people to get vaccinated. But one place in America thinks it has found a solution. Desi Lydic went to find out.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
This last year has shown us that Americans don't trust any authority figures anymore. The government, scientists, doctors, even the English language. Maybe that's why we're ranked 46 in COVID vaccination rates. Nice job, Mauritius. But there is one group that can still convince us. Social media influencers.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
At least that's what the Guilford County Health Department was betting on when they partnered with 41 local social media influencers to spread some fresh facts facts.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Sometimes it's better to watch the amateurs do the job rather than the pros. It's just more authentic and natural that way. And as a self-licensed juice therapist, I am all about avoiding public health experts. But why would influencers use their powers to fight COVID instead of their regular No-Make-Up-Mondays, Throwback-Thursdays and Froyo-Fridays?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Yeah, okay. But why are you wearing a shirt?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Vaccines
Das ist eine gute Idee. Nimm das Vakzin. Mhm. Die Influencern haben sich natürlich die Hashtag BacksLife selbst gekauft. Und sie haben die Worte auf ihren Accounts verbreitet. Aber ist jemand Hashtag listening zu Hashtag what their Hashtag saying?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
Well, thank you for asking. It started out so great. This morning, the random guy who usually yells, nice ass, instead yelled, I respect your nice ass. And this is why we march. So, yeah, I was feeling pretty good. I mean, at least until I saw this Barbie story.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
Oh, yeah, equally great role models. You could be a scientist who helps humanity, or you could design a YouTube algorithm that says, hey, kids, if you like Peppa Pig, you'll love QAnon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
Yeah, I know. They're all so successful. those Barbies. them all. Yeah, it's bad enough Barbie was always hotter. Now she's smarter than me, too? I want a doll that makes me feel bad about my body, not my mind.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
Well, no. I mean, not necessarily. But why can't we also have some mediocre Barbies who don't make us feel pressured? Right? Mediocrity. Not every Barbie has to be a girl boss. Let's have a Barbie who's a paralegal at a mid-sized law firm. Or one who works the lunch shift at a Just Salad. There is nothing wrong with Barbies who are just trying to make it through the day.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
But aren't Barbies supposed to be aspirational? No. No, Marlon, they're not. Give me a Barbie who's okay with letting 5,000 emails pile up in her inbox, okay? The Barbie who spilled coffee on her shirt but knows she can still get another day out of it if she puts a blazer on top.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
The Barbie who spends her Friday nights in bed binge-watching Vanderpump Rules, dunking carrot sticks into a jar of peanut butter, and letting her kids drive themselves to Taekwondo. For the love of God, stop judging me, Marlon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
You're specific. My point is, they don't all have to be rock stars. You think every Ken is a Nobel Prize winning aeronautical engineer? No. He's just a man with a car and a pubic mound. And we all accept him. That's what I want. The dream of every woman to be as successful as an average white man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Happy Birthday Barbie
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, are you mansplaining my dreams to me? On International Women's Day? No. What? No, I wouldn't dare. No, it's kind of sad. I feel like you wanted to.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
Let's talk about spring break, the most exciting week of the year for college students and gonorrhea.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
Miami Beach is breaking up with Spring Break. Shutting down Spring Break in Miami. This year, city officials told those Spring Breakers to go somewhere else. Restrictions, including the closing of the beach at 6 p.m. and liquor stores at 8.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
Miami is shutting down spring break? Where else will college students be able to get alcohol poisoning and have terrible sex with each other? And who is Miami to get upset with spring break? One in three people there is a DJ. Are they like, keep it down, I'm trying to be super loud over here?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
How do you even try to convince spring breakers to become cops? Are you just like walking down the beach? You guys are in good shape. Would you be willing to get out of shape?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
See, you're not solving a murder at the moment. Would you like to get paid to not solve a murder?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
Crushed a lot of beer today. Want to keep doing that, but with a gun?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
Right? That's crazy. And she admitted that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Spring Break
One time I went to Cancun in college. I went to Acapulco and I went to South Beach. I went to Auburn University in the South and Spring Break was huge for all of us. I went to Syracuse University. It was a party school. I had a great time. I went on Spring Break.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 1
I right when I started the show we had Gloria Steinem on. And she was walking through the hallways. And for whatever reason, she didn't know where to go. I don't know. She was just walking around by herself. And she popped into the edit that I was in. And she goes, does anyone know where I'm supposed to go? And I was like, I do. And I just started the job, so I didn't know where to take her.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
After the Cut | Correspondents 2024 - Part 1
And then there were just the two of us aimlessly walking around back hallways. But it was just so, it was such a cool moment to actually get to see her and meet her in person. Who's yours?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
At the time, people were using cloth diapers, and the only solution for leaks were uncomfortable rubber pants that gave babies diaper rash. So no one wanted to wear rubbers, even though they were the most effective method. Babies were like, do I have to? It feels so much better pooping against bare skin.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Faced with rejection, Marian went on inventing various doohickeys and what you call it. But a decade later, she had the shock of her life when Pampers launched a line of fully disposable diapers. Mother. That's right. A man had been rewarded for coming up with the same thing she was rejected for. And when you're done, you just throw it away. This is genius. Why has no one thought of this before?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Good job, male inventor. You're welcome, male executive. Ah, men. Men are great.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Actually, that part didn't really happen.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Disposable diapers are now a $6 billion industry. Marion should have been the Beyonce of baby care, but fate made her the Farrah Franklin. The who?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Marian was shafted. But not defeated. That's all for this week. Tune in next time for the story of another woman so powerful, so determined, her vagina almost didn't get in the way. Almost.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
But one day, her life changed forever when she was approached by some writers with a little song you may know called Hound Dog.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
But she had her own style in mind. Or... What if I did it this way? Just.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
That is so beautiful. Thank you, white man.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Welcome back to The Daily Show. March is officially Women's History Month, when we honor women by remembering their accomplishments and misattributing quotes to them on Instagram. Some of the most fascinating stories in women's history aren't that well known.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
In 1953, Big Mama Thornton's Hound Dog reached number one on the R&B chart, but it never crossed over to the pop chart because it was seen as a race record, which is a not-so-not-racist way of saying black music.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
See, even though mainstream society wasn't quite ready to embrace this sound in this package.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Look at that dog. He's like, man, why'd you bring me into this shit?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
You know, she had too many names. That's all for this week. Tune in next time to hear about a woman so talented, so promising, her vagina almost didn't get in the way. Almost.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
So this month, Desi Lydic and Dulcé Sloan are taking a look at the lives of real women who left their mark in our new Daily Show segment, Shafted.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
But tonight, we tell a different story. Sarah Howe was a 19th century entrepreneur who did reach her full potential through ingenuity and perseverance. Warning, the following content might... inspire you. Born in the early 1800s, Sarah grew up hustling as a fortune teller and horoscope reader. What is it? What is it?
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
She was shadier than R. Kelly running a Girl Scout troop. But in 1879, Sarah left all that petty swindling behind and turned to her true calling, stacking that cheddar.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
This sounds great. Here's all my money. you do know what they say. Cash rules everything around us. Doesn't it? It does, doesn't it? Okay, give it up. And the most amazing part was, it was all bullshit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Sarah made over half a million dollars, which would equal around 11 million today. And she preyed on over 1,200 women, which today still equals a lot of bitches.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
Sarah spent three years in jail for her crimes, but the true prison was her gender.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
And she was dead by then, looking down from heaven, watching Ponzi get all the glory. Well, she was probably looking up from hell, but it was still messed up.
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TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
The victim, Marion Donovan. The crime? Being a woman. In 1946, Marion was a housewife in the small town of Westport, Connecticut. Being home and raising children, Marion got fed up with all the shit in her life.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Shafted - Tales of Unsung Women
That's all for Shafted. Tune in next time to hear about a woman so brilliant, so unrelenting, her vagina almost didn't get in the way. Almost.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Bras became an intrinsic part of fashion, with underwires and padding allowing women to emulate the stars of the era, like Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield. An ample bosom was as synonymous with 1950s womanhood as not having a bank account or getting excited when you get a vacuum for your anniversary. And it wasn't just about the curves. Thanks to torpedo bras, it was also about the pointiness.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
which may look a little odd now, but at the time it was the Cold War, so it made sense to have extra missiles on hand in case Russia invaded. But while bras were supporting women, not all women were supporting bras. In fact, by the late 1960s, going braless became a fashion statement. Boobs were free to hang and move around and swing as much as all the couples at the party.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
It was a great time for boobs, except for all the polyester they were rubbing against for the first time. But contrary to popular belief, burning bras was never actually a thing. What did happen is that in 1968, demonstrators were protesting the Miss America pageant for being sexist, racist, and forcing women to solve world peace in 10 seconds. You need at least five minutes to do that.
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So protesters tossed symbols of their oppression into what they referred to as the freedom trash can, which also happens to be what I call the dumpster outside Whole Foods. And those symbols of oppression included bras, but they never actually set them on fire. That's just a myth. Like mild menstrual cramps or the male orgasm. I'll believe it when I see it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
But by that point, bras were so ingrained in society that many people struggled with the idea that they could be optional. The idea took hold that not wearing a bra was somehow inappropriate or unprofessional. Like in 1990, when a woman in Arkansas was found in contempt of court when the judge said her breasts were obviously showing through her shirt. Objection, Your Honor.
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My right to a fair trial is up here. And only a few years ago, a Florida high school student was forced to put band-aids over her nipples at school. That's a trip to the school nurse that will also send you to the school psychiatrist. I'm just kidding. American schools can't afford those. But for those who want to wear them, it's a great time for bras right now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Bra designers are no longer telling women what they should be wearing. Instead, they're listening to what women want to wear. There are so many comfortable options now, from athleisure to sports bras. Women can live a life where they aren't being squeezed like an empty tube of toothpaste. And there's no telling what the future of bras will be like. Maybe 20 years from now, all bras will be NFTs.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Who knows? Not me. I literally don't know what that means. But whatever form bras take, there's one thing that you can always count on. They will lose their shape in the dryer. But only if you wash them in the first place.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
It's when a woman is stimulated to the point of climax, causing a physical and neurological response that scientists refer to as bangtastic. And over the years, depicting female pleasure on screen is something that's changed more than the batteries in your vibrator.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Let's start all the way back in ancient Greece. Plato may have been one of the greatest philosophers of all time, and he could definitely rock that casual tunic look like nobody's business. But when it comes to baby making, he was clueless. He thought the womb could literally wander around the body like one of those DVD screensavers. Whoa, is that an eyeball? I am definitely on the wrong floor.
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The first known female orgasm on the silver screen was in the 1933 German film Ecstasy, when Hedy Lamarr took the Bratwurst Express all the way to Pleasureburg. Turns out, the world wasn't ready for this. Everyone denounced it, from Hitler to the Pope. And if you ask me, the Pope has no place weighing in on sex scenes. He's celibate.
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As dumb as Plato's dumb ideas about women's anatomy were, they were accepted by male doctors for centuries. And doctors couldn't do their own research because for most of human history, male doctors refused to even watch a woman give birth. They avoided the delivery room like it was an idea a woman said in a meeting.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
In fact, in 1522, a curious German doctor decided to sneak into the delivery room dressed as a midwife. And guess what? He was burned alive for it. It's like the most extreme drag race challenge ever. So because men didn't have the balls to see a vagina, it was up to the midwives to deliver the babies.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
That is until the mid-16th century when men realized how much money they could make by doing it themselves. But even in the delivery room, men were still so squeamish about seeing lady parts that they made women lie on their backs and cover their legs to deliver. That's why lying on your back is still the standard delivery procedure today.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Even though there are so many more comfortable and efficient positions a woman can give birth in, on her side, squatting, on all fours, or how I did it, standing in line to get into the Gucci sample sale. Fun fact, if you find a placenta stain on the scarf, they'll give you an extra 5% off.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Aside from awkward positions, men started doing all kinds of things to women we never would have chosen ourselves. We all know what this is, right? Now, why do you think this was invented? To chop down trees? Hunt down unsuspecting hotties? Wrong. Originally, the chainsaw was invented to assist in childbirth. How horrifying is that? At that point, I'd rather just let the baby grow up inside me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
It's no surprise male doctors would come up with the idea of chainsawing a baby out of a woman because a woman's pain was never really taken into consideration. Which is crazy because pain is the most traumatic thing about childbirth. Well, that and going on Maury afterwards to find out who the child's father is.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
But for a long time, men believed that women should feel pain during childbirth, that it was part of her destiny. So painkillers weren't even an option. In 1591, a woman from Edinburgh had the gall to ask for pain relief during the birth of her twins. And no joke, she was burned at the stake for it. Yeah, another one.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Apparently, just telling someone no wasn't invented for another couple centuries. Painkillers were largely off-limits until the mid-19th century, when Queen Victoria used chloroform for the birth of her eighth child. She raved about it, which made it even more popular. She truly was the original mommy influencer.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Thanks to Queen Victoria, drugging women during childbirth became much more acceptable. But after 100 years or so, the no drugs philosophy came back in style again, thanks to men like Dr. Grantley Dick Reed, the first modern physician to suggest women shouldn't get drugs at all, because he claimed that women's pain was all in their heads.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
In his defense, he was probably just trying to get revenge on his mom for giving him that name. Look, if women want drugs during childbirth, that's their choice. If they want to push a watermelon through a bagel hole without drugs, that's also their choice. The problem is when decisions are being made by other people without putting the woman first. And that's not just in the past.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
I mean, when we need your opinion on the best stain removers for white fabrics, then we'll call you. Unfortunately, being the first actress to climax on screen followed Hedy Lamarr for the rest of her career. She was typecast as the seductress, even though she was literally the smartest person in Hollywood.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
It continues today. There's OBGYNs who refuse to work with a doula, episiotomies being performed without consent,
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
and unnecessary c-sections being pushed on women just to work around a doctor's lunch break which is honestly kind of weird because if you still have an appetite after cutting a person open then i need a new doctor and you need a shrink so to all the doctors and medical professionals out there please listen to the women who are actually pushing another human being out of their bodies
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
take their concerns seriously, put their interests first, and for God's sake, please, no more burning people at the stake.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
Yeah, as her side hustle, she was a brilliant scientist who invented the basis for all modern wireless technology. Without her, no one would be orgasming, because we wouldn't be able to watch porn on our cell phones in the bathroom. And that was the last big on-screen female orgasm for a while, because around the same time, the Hays Code was enforced in Hollywood.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
This was a set of censorship guidelines that banned movies from explicitly showing or discussing sex. Even married couples had to be shown in separate beds, or as it's now called, the reverse chocolate factory.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
No one was getting off. The Hays Code finally ended in the late 60s, which, as timing goes, is like having your dry January end at an open bar in Cabo. America was embarking on a sexual revolution, so female pleasure came back on screen. Unfortunately, it was often treated as a novelty that existed for men's amusement, so you got scenes like the one in 1968's Barbarella.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
At the time, it was considered a campy, sexy thing, but looking at it now, it's a violation. Remember, everyone, if you're gonna put a woman in a machine that orgasms her to death, you need consent first. Another major moment came a few years later with the movie Deep Throat. It tells the story of a woman who keeps giving men oral sex because her pleasure zone is in her throat.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
That is not how it works. But Deep Throat became the first porno film to go mainstream and inspired both my uncles to become dentists. The female orgasms in Barbarella and Deep Throat were basically male fantasies about how women experience pleasure. So it was appropriate that the next on-screen orgasm to make a splash totally debunked those fantasies.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
1989's When Harry Met Sally famously includes an extended scene of Meg Ryan faking an orgasm in a deli to prove to Billy Crystal that maybe he wasn't the cunnilingus king that he thought he was. This scene was groundbreaking for a few reasons. It told all the women watching who had faked orgasms that they weren't alone.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
It taught men to try to be attentive to their partner's needs, and it catapulted Pastrami to become the top aphrodisiac of 1989. It also started a conversation about the performative nature of the female orgasm. Women face far too much pressure to satisfy their partner's ego instead of themselves. I mean, no one ever has to fake it for their vibrator.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
If they don't get the job done, they just go back into the drawer and they think about what they did.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
In the years that followed, female pleasure became more and more common on screen, but they were still often treated as punchlines, like Jennifer Aniston getting unexpected magic climaxes in Bruce Almighty, or Katherine Heigl accidentally orgasming at dinner when a little boy grabbed her remote-controlled vibrating underwear. Okay, there is so much wrong with this.
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It's non-consensual, it's a kid doing it, and it perpetuates the dangerous myth that vibrating underwear gives you anything but a five alarm electrical burn. And even when orgasms weren't meant to be funny, it could be hard to take them seriously. Like in 40 Days and 40 Nights, when Josh Hartnett makes his partner orgasm by caressing her with flowers. Which, believe me, is not that easy.
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Not to be a size queen, but you're gonna have to use at least a sunflower. The aughts weren't a step forward for orgasms, but they weren't a step back either. They still needed to step a little to the side. Now the other side. Then back and forth. Yeah, right there.
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Thankfully, in the present day, we're starting to see much more realistic and positive depictions of women popping their turkey timers. These days, you can hardly turn your TV on without seeing a woman getting off. And finally, movies and shows are doing this through the female gaze. And if you don't know what that would look like, then you haven't seen Bridgerton.
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It's a show about 19th century British society taking care of their little women. She's a Beth in the streets, but a Joe in the sheets. Thanks to Bridgerton, there haven't been this many female orgasms since, well, since everyone started watching Bridgerton. So that's the history on the female orgasm on screen. And who knows what the future holds?
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
But it is important because the way women are portrayed on screen holds a mirror up to how they're treated in real life. And as all women know, sometimes holding up a mirror to something is the only way to get a good look and figure out how it works. A lot of people think America's first female soldier was Demi Moore in G.I.
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Jane, which is not true, although she was the first Marine to strip her way through West Point. The truth is, there have been women fighting wars since the beginning of America. During the Revolutionary War, Deborah Sampson was the first known woman to enlist. And to do so, she had to pose as a man, which had its ups and downs. On the one hand, she had to put herself in grave danger.
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On the other hand, she didn't have to wear a corset anymore, which, if you ask me, is worth risking your life for. And Samson didn't just fight in the war. She kicked ass. She led a raid that captured 15 men. That's right, a woman took down 15 men without the help of Ronan Farrow. In the Civil War, another woman named Melinda Blaylock also posed as a man to enlist.
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It's weird that America doesn't know her story, because she fought for the Confederacy. You'd think there'd be statues of her all over. But Blaylock was secretly a Union sympathizer, trying to desert the Confederates and escape up North. But before she could, she was shot in the shoulder and discovered as a woman by an Army doctor.
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TDS Time Machine | Best of Hist-HER-y
That's a huge sacrifice, because as soon as your doctor realizes you're a woman, all your premiums go up. After Blalock was discharged for the crime of having a vagina, she escaped to Tennessee and joined up with the Union Army, helping it to win the Civil War, end slavery, and defeat racism in America once and for all. At least that's what my nephew's textbook says. He goes to school in Texas.
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By World War I, women didn't have to drag race their way into service. They were actually allowed to enlist. In 1918, Ofa Mae Johnson was the first woman to join the United States Marine Corps, along with 300 other women. And they came to be known as the Marinettes. Although, to their credit, Marine officials distanced themselves from that nickname.
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Probably because Marinette sounds less like soldiers and more like a dance troupe that does high kicks on the battlefield, which is really just giving the enemy unrealistic expectations of what their legs should look like. By World War II, women weren't just fighting on the ground. They were taking to the skies. America had a shortage of pilots, so women were trained to fly military aircrafts.
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These women were known as WASPs, which stood for Women Air Force Service Pilots, and not, as many believe, Wet Ass Service Pilots. This was just another example of women getting to step up during the war to do jobs previously reserved for men. Flying planes, playing baseball, women even had to fill in for mansplainers. See, the reason they call it World War II is because it's a second one.
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It's a math thing, you wouldn't understand. I gotta go hammer some shit. World War II saw another first for women when Charity Adams Early became the first African-American female army officer and led the first battalion of black women to be stationed overseas, which means without her inspiration, we never would have had Beyonce's Super Bowl halftime show.
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Early was given the daunting task of delivering airplane hangers full of undelivered mail to the soldiers fighting in Europe. And she did such an amazing job that she was eventually promoted to Lieutenant Colonel, which back then was the highest rank a woman was allowed to have, just above HBIC and Girl Boss.
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But not every woman fighting in World War II was as visible as Army officers and Air Force pilots. And in one case, that was on purpose. Virginia Hall was one of the Allies' most important spies. She recruited resistance fighters, directed them to the Allied invasion, rescued 12 fellow agents out of an internment camp, and she did it all with a peg leg. Are you kidding me?
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I take a sick day when I stub my toe. The Nazis called Hall the enemy's most dangerous spy, but she was more affectionately known as the Limping Lady of Lyon. And she gathered intelligence from everywhere, from nuns to brothel owners, basically anyone who spanks men with a ruler. Hall was truly a master of espionage, like James Bond without all the pouting and STDs.
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But it wasn't all sunshine and jet fuel for women veterans. The families of the women who died while serving didn't get any survivor benefits or burial expenses. And the women who made it through the war didn't even get veteran status until the late 70s, which is so messed up. Also, if you're not an official veteran, your dog doesn't get excited when you surprise him by coming home.
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barely even looks up. So this Veterans Day, we salute the women who have kept America safe. They paved the way for all the brave women fighting today and the ones who will fight in the future once the robot apocalypse kicks off. And they also inspired me to avoid the line for the women's bathroom.
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bras also known as brassieres or more formally over-the-shoulder boulder holders the histories of women and their bras have been pushed together and held there for as long as we can remember and you can always tell a lot about what's going on with women in society by how their breasts are being stored from the ancient romans wearing bandeau style sports bras for athletic competitions
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to the women of the early aughts who shot whipped cream out of their bras as a way to destigmatize public breastfeeding. When I was nursing, I could never quite get my milk to come out that frothy. One of the earliest versions of the bra was in the Middle Ages, when women could wear two fabric bags over their breasts inside their clothing. These ladies didn't have time for cute underwear.
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It was the 1300s. They were more concerned with finding new recipes for gruel and not dying from a paper cut. For a while, during the French Revolution and Victorian eras, bras took a backseat to corsets, which ever so gently molded a woman's body into that super desirable hourglass figure. because nothing is sexier than a woman who might be filled with sand.
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Luckily, by the end of the 19th century, a French woman named Herminie Cadal had designed the first modern bra by cutting a corset in two and sewing it into something that was then considered lingerie and would now be considered school clothes on Euphoria. It gave women more freedom than the traditional corset.
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but it was still impossible to take your bra off through your shirt in the locker room at Planet Fitness. Be right there! Don't start Zumba without me! Thankfully, in 1914, a 19-year-old named Caress Crosby invented a bra that ditched the corset altogether.
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Crosby wanted a bra to wear to her debutante ball that was actually comfortable, so she made one herself out of two handkerchiefs tied together with a ribbon. It turned out to be a huge hit at the ball, probably because in a corset bra, the only dance women could do was the robot. And no one likes the person at the party doing the robot, especially before robots were invented. She's possessed!
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Fetch Father Mulcahy! With her new bra, Caress Crosby and Women Everywhere were liberated. Except for the fact that they were still women in 1914. But aside from that, liberated! Crosby's bra was a hit, but it continued to evolve, and by the 1950s, new styles led to an all-out boob party.
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It's no secret that women's on-screen portrayals have evolved throughout history. We've gone from playing secretaries being saved by James Bond all the way to nuclear scientists being saved by James Bond. But I want to focus on one specific aspect of female depictions, the orgasm.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
I'm here on the border where people are sneaking across, desperate to escape a country where they don't even feel safe anymore. But what if I told you that country was America? Right? This part's America? That's right. Last year, over 20,000 people illegally snuck out of America and into Canada.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
It started when Trump began revoking temporary protected status for hundreds of thousands of immigrants.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
All of this, not to mention Trump's feelings about immigrants in general.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
has prompted a new wave of refugees seeking asylum in Canada, where their king in the north, Prime Minister Jon Snow, is all like... You're safe at home now. 90% of asylum seekers are crossing along a small section of the border, about 25 miles north of the town of Plattsburgh. So I headed there to meet a local coyote. My contact told me to meet him here. I gave him the code name She-Wolf Blitzer.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
Hmm? Desi, yeah. Once we got our bad Tinder date out of the way, I learned that Bill is a cab driver here in Plattsburgh, and it's the cab drivers who ferry the refugees to the border. It's gotten so busy that even party shuttles have converted into migrant caravans, taking all these people right up to the border of Canada. You know, if mayonnaise was a country. What the hell?
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
America's the country where people sneak into, right?
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
We're the American dream. And look at all this food. I know, I don't get it. This serves one person.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
That's what I keep telling my husband.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
Yeah, and Christmas. And Flag Day. I'll never forget Flag Day. What were we talking about? Right, you want them to go through the front door.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
But these people can't go through the front door. Because of a quirk in Canadian law, if you cross at any official border crossing, your asylum claim will be rejected faster than a dick pic on LinkedIn. That's why asylum seekers are crossing the US-Canada border at an illegal entry point on a dead-end road, where Bill and I were headed. Wow, this really is like a bad Tinder date.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
We are turning onto the Roxham Road right here.
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I mean, look at how beautiful this is. Why would anyone want to leave this? Okay, not exactly this stretch of America.
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Right at the end of this road is where they cross.
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No, that's not Toronto. That's the Canadian base.
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TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
Before Trump, this was wilderness. But due to the flood of immigrants at this illegal entry point, the Canadians have built up a permanent presence, which includes the world's largest birdhouse. Between 70 to 80 asylum seekers arrive every day, ready to cross with everything they can carry. On the other side, the Canadian police are standing their ground.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
But then, like typical Canadians, they let him in anyway. I spoke with Armstrong, an asylum seeker fleeing northeast Nigeria where terrorist groups like Boko Haram are active.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
But Armstrong was already in America. Why not claim refugee status here?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
A better life? I remember when people used to say that about us. And you're hoping for better things in Canada?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
opportunity. We used to be the land of that. That's our brand. City on a hill, land of the free. Is Canada taking our place? As I watched Armstrong walk away, I thought about all we had been through these past 15 seconds. And I realized he wasn't just going to Canada. He was breaking up with America. Well, we've just been dumped. If there's one thing I know, it's how to handle being dumped.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
You know what? Yeah, it's not working out. I decided first before you decided. Say what? Talking to him. I spent all day trying to convince people to stay. Any chance we can have a do-over? What if Oprah were president? Were all these people really choosing America's boring cousin? I don't think they're coming back. Maybe we should be reflecting or trying to grow from this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
or we can just handle it like any breakup. Seriously, Canada? Ugh, with Mueller's closing in, we're gonna change. I hope you're happy together. I don't mean it. Only one person could pick me back up, which is because Canada's younger than us. We're still America. We still got it going on.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Oh, Canada...
Makes it seem like we don't have it going on.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
Roy, I know racism when I see it. And this is textbook racism. A mostly white team getting an invite to the White House for losing is white privilege at its most insidious. If I may quote Malcolm X. No, no, no, no, no.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
Look, Roy, it is racist to honor white losers the same as black winners. Trust me, I have a unique perspective on race as a person talking to a black man right now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
I don't know. I only watch Atlanta. Whether it's racism or sexism, and it's racism, I think we can both agree on two things. One, I know all the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise. And two, this was not Jill Biden's finest moment.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
Not to mention, she knows how to kick it at the cookout, know what I mean?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
We're in the final stretch of March Madness, that special time of year that turns every office into an underground gambling ring. And last night, all eyes were on a rematch between two of the biggest stars in the tournament.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
This poor announcer, Caitlin Clark, hit so many big shots that the guy was clearly running out of things to say. She's ridiculous. She's possessed. She's a witch. Drown her. I don't know. But honestly, honestly, what an awesome rivalry. Kaitlyn Clark and Angel Reese, two fierce competitors playing their hearts out, captivating the nation while they're still in college.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
My biggest accomplishment in college was getting a single dorm because of my IBS. Hey, if there was a sock on the door, it was an especially bad night. Point is, it feels like women's basketball is having a moment this year, and you can tell by how much the media can't stop talking about how they're talking about it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
Okay, that might say more about you, but we'll take the win. We'll take it. That's right. People are excited about women's basketball right now. They're discovering it like it's the first time your mom tried sushi. Oh my God, have you heard about this? Spread the word. But everyone is raving, everyone. Even Shaquille O'Neal said women's basketball this year is a better game than men's basketball.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
SpaghettiOs, you don't have to love your kids. Anyway, think about how far women's basketball has come. Ten years ago, if you went to a bar on a Monday night to watch women's basketball, it was because you were an alcoholic. But today, if you're at a bar on a Monday night, it's because you're an alcoholic who also wants to watch women's basketball. That is progress.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
So this has been a hugely successful college tournament for the women, even despite some obstacles.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | March Madness
Okay, I really relate to this as a woman. It is so classic for someone else to fuck up. And we're like, oh, the line is messed up? It's fine. We'll just go ahead and play four games. You can fix it later. Or not. Whatever. I'm sorry. Thank you.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Well, Trevor, during this month, I like to celebrate the stories of impressive women that have been overlooked. It's not his-story, it's his-story. Took me forever to come up with that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Okay, yeah, but you see, everyone pays attention to the women who did great things, but no one speaks about women who did bad things. For example, everyone's heard of Benedict Arnold, right? He was the general who betrayed America during the Revolution, the greatest treason in our history up until Tristan Thompson. But you probably haven't heard of Benedict's wife, Peggy Shippen Arnold.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Being a woman can cost you apparently an average of $1,400 a year thanks to gender price discrimination.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
It's called the pink tax. I needed to investigate by testing some products. But I wasn't going to fall victim to price discrimination by actually paying for them. Two razors, one blue, one pink, otherwise identical. Does the pink one give a silkier shave? Only one way to find out. What? I'm a full-time working mom. What do you expect? Exactly the same. Could this be an isolated case?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
I continued my investigation. We need a patriarchy cleanup in aisle 13. Two painkillers, one marketed for lady cramps. Question is, which is more effective? Just as I thought, same active ingredient. This is bullshit. Why do products cost more for women than men?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah. I mean, that's the whole point of the surgery. It went to my bottom line. But there's one lawmaker, Congresswoman Jackie Speier, who's been fighting gender discrimination for over 20 years.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Now, she was actually the one who encouraged him to turn on America and help plan his treason with British officials. You know, it's like they say, the couple that betrays together stays together. And there is nothing hotter than treason sex, trust me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
They should be paying you to get those haircuts, but that's not the point.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
I ran the numbers. An overcharged plus underpaid equals the square root of what the f***? It's so unfair. It's like when someone has blue eyes, everyone falls in love with them. But you get pink eye once, and suddenly you're kicked out of your neighbor's hot tub. It's 3 o'clock in the morning. What are they going to use it for?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Oh, great. So while your little girl is learning how to walk, she'll also learn how to navigate the system that's exploiting her.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
These are two children's snorkels. $8.84, $16.22 for the pink. So women literally have to pay more to breathe. Sorry. 28 women's diapers for $15.98.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
And just like me, this system is full of shit. How can women afford to live in this world?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah, sure. If you think about it, it's just one extra step in a series of extra steps that women take every day to thrive in a man's world. Like how we get up a little extra early every morning to put on an outfit that looks professional yet accessible, but not too accessible because we don't want to be taken advantage of.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Or how we walk an extra five blocks to work so that we can avoid the construction zone. because men like to tell us to smile more. And when we get to work, we want to make our voices heard, but in a way that's helpful and strong without being overbearing or shrill.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
You know, we do all of this without even an ounce of resentment, because resentment causes wrinkles, and society does not value aging women. Is there a men's wrinkle cream that you can recommend?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
there's gotta be a better solution.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
That's right. Spear is ready to give the pink tax some blue balls. But why stop there?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Be outraged. Make our voices heard. Take it into our own hands. Until the repeal of the Pink Tax Act gets passed, I'm going to make up for all the shit we've already paid for with the help of my little pink friend. Perfect. Giving women their money back one item at a time. We'll call it Desi's Dick Tax. Strong enough for a man, but priced just for her.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Oh, of course you didn't. You're a man. I didn't know either. I saw it on a Snapple cap at lunch today.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah. Here's another one. We all know who Alexander the Great was, the ruthless king, bloodthirsty conqueror, sideburns aficionado. But he only got to do all of that because of a woman, his mom, Queen Olympias. She wanted her son to be king so bad, she had her husband and his other wife assassinated. She schemed so her child could have a better life, like a Macedonian Aunt Becky.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
You know, actually, Olympias inspired me to break into my son's school and destroy the other kids' science projects. Sorry someone trashed your volcano, Timmy, but I too am raising a king.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Oh, wow. Trevor, you're gonna tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Well, you know what else used to be a crime? Women voting, huh? Right, ladies? But you know what, I'm glad you brought up crime, because women can do that too. People always talk about Machine Gun Kelly, one of the most notorious gangsters during Prohibition. But nobody's ever heard of his wife, Catherine Kelly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
She helped him scheme, she helped plan his kidnappings, she even gave him the gun he was named after. You know, before her, everyone called him Finger Guns Kelly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah, and it's still happening today. Just look at Facebook. Fake news scandals, helping Russia spread propaganda. They even sold all her dick pics to Steve Bannon. And every time something goes wrong, people blame Mark Zuckerberg. But their COO, Sheryl Sandberg, deserves just as much credit. Everyone's dragging his name through the mud.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
I am so sick of people refusing to say something bad about women on the internet.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
I admire all women. But there is one woman I admire above all. She is my number one evil heroine. I mean, I guess heroine's the number one evil heroine, but this lady comes close. Trevor, when you think of pirates, you think of Blackbeard, Captain Kidd, or whoever's the captain now. But the most successful pirate of all time was actually a woman, Zheng Yisao.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
In the 1800s, she had 80,000 sailors, 1,500 ships, and took more pirate fortune than Johnny Depp's lawyers. But get this. When the Chinese Navy finally caught her, she talked her way out of jail, got amnesty, and then opened a casino. Boom! She went from being a criminal tyrant to a legal casino owner, a move historians call the reverse Donald Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
So remember, everyone, Women's History Month isn't just about breaking the glass ceiling. It's also about throwing someone through it and getting away with it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
I know a lot of men might think women's history doesn't affect them, but it turns out women throughout history have invented some of men's favorite things. For example, Trevor, what's the number one thing that men can't live without? I'll give you a hint. It starts with the B. You whip him out during spring break.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
OK. Well, beer is a $530 billion industry, mostly thanks to men. And who can blame them for loving beer with all those macho ads full of sexy women desperate to have sexy sex? Ooh, grandpa, your social security check is so big. But it turns out Mesopotamian women were the ones who invented this man juice. Wait, sorry. No, that doesn't sound right. Uh, this man flew it. Yeah, that's better.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
But it's true. 7,000 years ago, beer was considered a gift from a goddess, and only women were entrusted with making it, which is why I no longer pay for beer when I go out. You know, instead of signing my bar tab, I just write, you're welcome.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah. No, and that's not all. A woman helped create one of the things men think they can do when they're drunk, kung fu. You know, society has always told us that it's meant for men, you know, and pandas. But guess what? Bruce Lee, the most famous kung fu-er of all time, got his whole style of kung fu from a woman.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
In the 1700s, a nun by the name of Ng Moi developed her method after teaching a female student how to fight off a creepy guy. You know, these days, you can just swipe left. But back then, you had to literally swipe left.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah, well, I mean, it's not that crazy. Nuns are badass. Remember that nun in the 90s who took down one of Reno's biggest mobsters? And she still had time to teach her choir some Motown classics.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Yeah, it's my favorite documentary. And speaking of fighting, it was this woman, Lisa Meitner, who discovered nuclear fission.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Oh, my God. Seriously? Trevor, you don't know what nuclear fission is? I mean, everyone knows it's when you fission the nuclear. You know, whatever. The point is, her discovery of nuclear fission became the basis for all nuclear weapons. So without her, there are no nuclear bombs. And without nuclear bombs, world leaders would have no way of proving how big their dicks are.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Women's History Month
Listen, fellas, the next time you're butt-chugging a PBR or start a bar fight or drop a nuke, remember all of the women who made it possible and honor them by not doing any of that dumb shit in the first place.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Great, Big Bowls has my Social Security number. Now I feel better. I know we complained about our leaders being too old, but doesn't this go a little too far in the other direction? Surely there must be a middle ground somewhere between crypto bros and crypt keepers.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Not only that, Musk has been installing his big balls in a whole bunch of little-known agencies that are crucial in actually running the government, the GSA, the OPM, the OMB, the OC, and SVU. And, of course, the big question about this takeover and the question we'll be asking ourselves a lot over the next four years is, is this legal? Which brings me to our new segment, Is That Legal?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
To help us out, we go to our very own Troy Iwata. Troy, thank you for acting as our resident legal expert.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Perfect. Can you help us find out if it's legal for Musk and his lost boys to access the sensitive information of the federal government?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Oh, OK. Great. Well, we'll check back in in a minute. Thank you, Troy. Now, Elon Musk isn't just going to get full access to the federal government just to sit back and watch it function like he's some sort of cuck. No, he's going to jump in there and do some cutting.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Yes, the richest man in the world is cutting off aid to poor countries. Why can't you just be a normal billionaire and co-host Shark Tank or run an NBA team into the ground? I'm not saying there's not some cuts to be made in foreign aid spending. You just don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Or what's the expression I'm looking for?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
OK, we get it. We get the metaphor. You don't have to keep saying worms over and over again. You know, I have a metaphor, too. Elon Musk's charisma reminds me of a ball of worms. Of course, USAID was codified by an act of Congress. So if Trump thinks he can have Elon Musk kill it, he must have a strong legal reason for why he can do that without an act of Congress.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Or not. Why should he know? He's just the president. Fortunately, we have a legal expert who can help answer that question. Let's go back to Troy Iwata.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Troy, I got another one for you. Is it legal for the president to shut down USAID without an act of Congress?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Well, Troy, we kind of need to know this now. We have to keep up with Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Thank you. Now, obviously, Republicans are standing by Musk for the most part. They say that Trump ran on cutting spending, and this is all just a part of that. But is there perhaps a senator who could make that point in the, I don't know, weirdest, creepiest way possible? I like omelets.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Did we really have to learn all about this guy's sex life just so he could get to a common expression? I can only climax when someone steps on my balls. Anyway, there's no use crying over spilt milk. Look, I don't know if I understand Senator Kennedy's metaphor, but I definitely understand why he's been banned from Denny's.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Anyway, if you're looking for Senator Kennedy's wife, she's the woman in the grocery store yelling at the eggs, you stay away from my husband, you cage-free slut! Well, I'm never... I'm just kidding. I'm sure she prefers eggs to having sex with him, too. But Elon Musk isn't the only one having people finger-banging their eggs Florentine with excitement.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Donald Trump is also reducing the government workforce, although his interests seem to be less about cost-cutting and more about sweet, sweet revenge.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
What the f***? These agents were doing their job enforcing the law, and now they're getting fired? That is not how it works. I cannot believe I have to explain firing to the star of The Apprentice. That was your whole fake job. And this is obviously just the beginning because Trump is going to be targeting everyone that's ever come after him. And I just want to say, I'm not scared.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
So, Mr. Trump, bring it on, okay? Bring it on. That's coming from me, Jordan Klepper. K-L-E-P-P-E-R. Now, obviously, of course, the big question over Trump firing the FBI agents is, is that legal? Troy? What? I'm still doing the other stuff. Don't worry about that stuff, but also finish that stuff and add on this new stuff.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Find out if the president's executive powers include the termination of officials ordered by the former attorney general to investigate the criminal actions of his accomplices.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
The truth is, practically everything Trump is doing these days is in a legal gray zone. Just today, he announced an executive order dismantling the Department of Education. He started a sovereign wealth fund. He's considering deporting U.S. prisoners to El Salvador, and he's ordered billions of gallons of water to be wasted in central California. Troy?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Is the sovereign wealth education citizen deporting water wasting legal? How many more questions are there going to be? Eight more every hour for the next four years. Jesus Christ!
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Well, is it? I don't know! Troy, look, I know, I know this is a hectic pace, but it's important that we find out the answers so we can be as informed as possible about whether this administration's actions are legal. Don't you agree? Troy? Wait. Where's Troy?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
What? Is that legal for Elon Musk to fire one of our employees?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Wait, who are you? Are you Big Balls?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
We all know Donald Trump isn't a details kind of guy. We elected him to come up with big brilliant ideas like renaming the Gulf of Mexico. No one else could have thought of that or should have thought of that. But it's okay that he's not big on details because during the campaign he promised us that he knew a guy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Don't take the bait, Desi. Don't take the bait. Be the bigger person. Be the bigger person. That's right, Elon Musk, the world's richest man and guy who cheers in the wrong parts of Saving Private Ryan. Trump promised us that he'd give Elon full access to the federal government. Pull it to the side and get all up in it. And unlike his wedding vows, this is a promise he kept.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | President Elon
Yeah. Yeah, Elon Musk has access to your social security number, and that is not cool. If you want our personal data, Elon, you go buy it off the dark web like everyone else, okay? Now, you might be thinking, I don't want white nationalist Tony Stark to have sole control of the inner workings of the federal government. But relax. It's not just Elon. He has a fully equipped team.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
So happy that you're here. Congratulations on the movie. Thank you. It's so much fun. You're incredible in it. And truth be told, there are a lot of great tips on how to commit crimes in this movie.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
The cast is incredible. It's insane. You, Bill Murray, Ed Harris, Jennifer Coolidge, who you saw in the clip, Pete Davidson. I mean, Lewis Pullman, Lewis Pullman.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
And I read that you all filmed everything in 22 days. Yes. Is that true? And mostly in one location.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I mean, if you're going to be stuck in a house for 22 days with a cast, that's not a bad cast to be stuck in a house with.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Well, I have to say the movie's phenomenal and your work is phenomenal in it. So congratulations on that. We have a little something in common. Yes. Your first job ever was interning at a modeling agency. Yes. My first job ever was interning at a modeling agency. No way. Yes, but yours blossomed into an incredibly successful modeling career.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I mean, you, absolutely adorable. And you had a booming modeling career at that time.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
That was 1-800-DENTIST.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Well, did it?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
You do these damn jobs? Of course. You sign up, and you're young, and you don't know any better. I don't want to flex, okay?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
But I, too, had a little bit of a modeling career.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Many years ago. So, DPM, do you have a picture? Yeah. Yes. It's the double loop. Not everyone would have done the double loop.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Yeah. Yeah, my modeling career started and ended with that photo, basically. Yeah. Same, same. Same, same. I am so impressed. You were incredibly outspoken about the deep inequalities that exist in the entertainment industry. What does progress look like to you?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I wish more producers were like you. That's what separates you from a lot of people. And it's proven to be wildly successful. When you were starting your producing career, you talked about an experience that happened on the set of Deliver Us From Eva that changed the way that you looked at producing from that point forward. What was that?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Is this how white ladies protest now? I demand to dance for the manager. You know what? At least they're getting out there. And these are regular citizens doing their best. It's not their responsibility to block the Trump agenda. That's on the Democratic Party. They have the talent and experience honed from decades of asking me for money. They'll know.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I love that story. Because that impacts and when it starts at the top, you know, when you set the pace when you're on set, when you're producing something or you're number one on the call sheet, you set the pace for everyone else.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I want to talk about your daughter, Zaya, who was honored at the Out 100 event last year for her trailblazing in the queer community. What does it feel like as a parent to watch your daughter be so fearless in advocating for rights, especially right now in this moment in time when there's so much oppression, hate, fill in the blank from this administration?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
She has an excellent example in you to look up to as a mama. So I'm so happy you're on. Congratulations on everything. Thank you for being here. No, thank you. Thank you. Rip Ross is a winner. Congratulations. Gabrielle Union, everybody. We're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
They will know exactly the most effective way to fight Donald Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Cool. California Governor Gavin Newsom is starting a podcast. I can't believe they rebuilt L.A. that fast. Glad you have the time. I mean, forgive me for not subscribing to the Gavin Newsom pomade hour, but I think the moment calls for a little more than polite conversation, although some Democrats are taking that very literally.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Ooh, okay. You guys kissed your lobbyists with that mouth? That's right, the Democratic strategy written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Look, I get the spirit behind it, but cursing in politics doesn't exactly age well. The Gettysburg Address wouldn't have been the classic it became if it went four score and a f*** ton years ago. Not to mention dropping the F-bomb isn't really for everyone.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I noticed Congresswoman Maxine Dexter had a little bit of trouble.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Oh, you are right. You don't swear in public very well. There are a thousand ways to say f*** you, and you found literally the only wrong one. I mean, unless she meant, we have to Trump. There's a sign-up sheet next to the stage. Suck him off. Suck him off. But not all Democrats are filling up the swear jar. Some have gone much more highbrow with a little resistance wordplay.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
All right. Okay. I see what you did there. I'm just glad that Maxine Dexter didn't join in. She'd be like, more like the Department of Glory-Holing Elon. Oh! So... All right. Shh. This is what happens when you're the party of liberal arts majors. MAGA stormed the Capitol, and Democrats are doing creative writing exercises.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Desi Lydic. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Democrats can't remember where they put their riz. America whitewashes Black History Month. And Donald Trump loses a fight to a girl. So let's get right into it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
But, hey, if clever acronyms aren't your thing, Democrats are also pulling out some timely pop culture references.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I'm sorry, I became a Republican for a second. Look, I don't know how, but I think this congressman somehow just lost the beef for Kendrick. I do think, I do think, though, that every rap battle should end with, thank you, I yield my time. Let's all be fair, okay? Because not all of the Democratic messaging has been breaking the cringemeters.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Bernie Sanders has been on an anti-oligarchy tour, and his town halls have been drawing huge, huge crowds. Remember, he's been warning us about the oligarchy way before Elon Musk was wearing a MAGA hat, so this really feels like his moment. Too bad he'll be 87 years old by the time the next election rolls around, unless we can give him the substance... I'm halfway through that movie.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I assume it all works out. I'll tell you one Democrat who took it to Trump face to face. The governor of Maine, Janet Mills. Last week, Trump held a meeting at the White House where he called her out for refusing to comply with his ban on trans athletes. And once he did that, she made it clear that she wasn't going to comply with any of his bullshit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Yes! Andy Cohen will never make a show just as good as what I just watched. That's how you do it. Forget singing, forget dancing. This is how you confront Trump with tipsy ant energy. Define the issues and force the court to pick a side. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Stop that. Stop that. Get it out of here. Stop. For more on the Democratic resistance, let's go to Washington, D.C. with our very own Grace Kuhlenschmidt. Grace, it seems like the governor of Maine has the best strategy here for Democrats. Confront Trump and take him to court.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
I don't think that was actually an idea. I think she just accidentally misspoke. A lot of great ideas come from accidents. Silly putty, super glue, the Titanic movie. Grace, this is not a real idea. How is f***ing Trump going to work?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
No, no, no, no, no, no.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
No, no, no, no, no.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Since taking office, Donald Trump and the Republicans have been making a lot of big changes, in the same way that Godzilla made some big changes in Tokyo. But there's also been a liberal opposition growing over the past few weeks. People have started taking to the streets and making their voices heard.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Okay, forget it. But why would having sex with Trump be a good strategy?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Grace, that's not how volcanoes or the male body works. Yes, it is.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
No, Grace, come on. There are better ways to stop Trump than an orgy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Well, they could just embrace a younger generation who can clearly make the case for a pro-worker, progressive America.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Forget it. Grace Kuhlenschmidt, everybody. February is Black History Month, but has the Trump administration changed the way we commemorate it? Josh Johnson hit the streets to find out.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
We'll fight Elon Musk. Which key are we on? Oh, sorry, but that sounded so bad I had to cleanse my ears with an RFK Jr. speech. Were there any protests that aren't just singing?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Democrats' Cringey Opposition, DEI Ban Black History Quiz | Gabrielle Union
Thank you, Josh. When we come back, Gabrielle Union will be joining me on the show, so don't go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is an actor, producer, and entrepreneur who stars in the new movie, Riff Raff. Please welcome Gabrielle Union. I'm very excited to see you, as am I. Oh, my gosh. So happy you're here.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
It's no surprise America has a gun problem. In fact, even if our legislators could pass comprehensive gun reform, there's already over 400 million guns in this country, a number statisticians call really high and f***ing huge. But one brave Michigander is taking action into his own hands, and it's not someone you would expect. I haven't been this confused about a priest since I binged Fleabag.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
How does a priest get involved with getting guns off the streets?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
You know it's bad when a priest is sick of thoughts and prayers. I mean, that's your bread and butter. And just as Jesus turned water into wine, Father Yah turned prayers into action and started a gun buyback program.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
And because this is America, people are more willing to part with their guns if they get something out of it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
What kind of gift cards are we talking about here?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Target?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
I'm not allowed in Target anymore. I had a bit of a run-in with the law involving an incident with a cheese grater.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
And what happens to the guns once they're collected? Do they go to that farm upstate with all the dogs?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Ah, the pulverizer. That was my signature move when I was on the amateur wrestling circuit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
A deadly machine that destroys deadly guns? Problem solved.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Most of the metal left behind can be recycled. I love a name that says exactly what it is. Busting guns. No deception there.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Come again?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
So Gun Busters is actually contributing to making more guns.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Jeez. Sorry. Shit. Sorry. Jesus. Turns out they were using the pulverizer more for evil than good. Doing only partial destruction means that the guns can be born again, and not in the Jesus-y way. I reached out to speak with gun busters, but much like the fate of their guns, they ghosted me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
1968.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Gun Act. The act of.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Receiver and the frame. Yes. So just to reiterate, under this old-timey law.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
The receiver or the frame by itself is considered to be a firearm. So if Gunbusters tells you they've destroyed the firearm, technically they only have to have destroyed that one tiny piece, leaving the rest to be potentially used for ghost guns.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Holy shit, 1,000%? That's like four ghost guns for every ghost. Luckily, Michigan has a solution.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
So it seems the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a pulverizer. But this time, Michigan has their very own state-run pulverizer, ensuring that the guns that they receive are completely destroyed. I went back to the church to spread the good word to Father Yaw, only to discover he had taken it upon himself to fulfill his own prophecy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
That sounds dangerous.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
All right. Sure, just follow a priest I just met to the set of the movie Saw, but for guns. What could go wrong?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Pauses Tariffs, Crashes the Stock Market & Threatens China | Antoni Porowski
Three guns down. Now just $399,999,997 more to go. Thank you, Desi. When we come back, Anthony Parabsi will be joining on the show, so don't go away.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Trump's press secretary just had her first walk back. This is an important rite of passage for Trump's spokespeople. Their bull mitzvah, if you will. She was spending so much time walking back the plan that at one point she ran out of English words.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
My guest tonight is an Academy Award winning actor who stars in the new film, Love Hurts. Please welcome Kee Hwee Kwan.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
He's very generous that way. I think what happened is he bolted when he found out that you were coming here because he doesn't like being, he doesn't appreciate him not being the most handsome Asian man in the room. He's got a little bit. He got threatened.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Can you believe it? Can't even believe it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
I have to tell you, my favorite thing about your movie is that Ronnie's not in it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
No, this is such a fun movie, Love Hurts. It's a Valentine's Day action film. So would you describe it as like die hard for hopeless romantics?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
It's so good. You're excellent in it. Thank you. And it's so much fun. One thing that I love about you is that you just have the most joyful, positive, infectious energy. And one thing that I noticed was your character in the opening of this film is this happy guy. And he's grateful for his life. And he keeps saying, I love this life. And then as it turns out, he's secretly an assassin.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
So I'm wondering, are you secretly an assassin?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
I knew it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
You are lethal in some of these action sequences, and you actually have a black belt in Taekwondo, is that true?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Yeah, so true. Remind me how it got unhabitable again. Even worse for Caroline, while she was scrambling to salvage Trump's plan, Trump was on Truth Social readjusting it on the fly, which left everybody even more confused.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Do you hear that, Epson? Give him an endorsement deal.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
I can't even imagine. I mean, there was so much. Those scenes are so impressive. And you're in the movie with ex- Ariana DeBose. Ariana DeBose.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Your entire family just wasted.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
That's a good Hollywood night. That's a very good Hollywood night.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And also, Sean Astin, your Goonies.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Brother. Had a great cameo in it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Very, very cool cameo. I'm curious, what was it like to get to work with him again? And when the director yelled, cut, did you say, no, this is our time, our time down here?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
I was trying to work that in. I'm sorry, I had to get one Goonies reference in.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
It's really special.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
You do that for the audience too. I heard that your next dream project would be to play an evil villain. Is this true?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Well, I think you'd make a great evil villain.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And in order to make that happen, we at The Daily Show wanted to be part of this. So I was wondering if you would consider reading a few villain lines into camera. We want to help you get this next movie.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Okay, let's do this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Just a little practice, just for rehearsal. Could we get some villain lights? Yeah. Oh, this is good.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Do you need a villain prop? I'm an evil kitten. Okay, and right into the camera. We prepared these for you.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
A backtrack and a double down? And now, on the uneven bars, Donald Trump will attempt the rare combination backtrack double down. And let's see if he breaks every bone in his body. But while his team tries to fix his Gaza plan, Donald Trump has already moved on because he's basically the norovirus. Every day, he spews executive orders all over the place.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Spooky.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
It's a very, very dead cat you got there. Sorry about that.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching The Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount+.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And while we struggle to clean up all the puke, he comes out the other end with something even worse. He tried to buy out the entire workforce of the CIA. His DOJ is going after anyone who's investigated him. And now he has defeated America's biggest threat.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
You notice how we paused right before invade your locker rooms? Like, maybe we won't make that illegal. Should have proofread this. Look, it's bad enough that he's banned trans women from sports, but spare us the performance of pretending that this is a top issue for women in this country. Maybe start with, I don't know, reproductive rights or pay inequality.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Or why it's 2025 and still none of my clothes have pockets. Now, you might be wondering, is this really going to be the entire Trump presidency, just divisive executive orders every day for the next four years? Probably. But on the bright side, he did have one executive order today that felt relatively harmless.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Excuse me, sir. Americans already have a national garden, and it sells unlimited breadsticks. I never thought I'd say this, but Elon, I got some government waste for you right here. Does anyone have the phone number of the Department of Government Efficiency? Actually, they're all 12-year-olds. Does anyone have the Roblox usernames of the Department of Government Efficiency?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
We've got so much to talk about tonight. Trump's plan for Gaza is still under construction. An old man gets into gardening and Charlemagne the God kindly requests that Republicans stop being little bitches. Let's get into it with another installment of the second coming of Donald J. Trump.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
But the question is, in these divided times, will Trump's garden of heroes help to unify Americans? To debate this issue, let's go live to Ronny Chieng and Josh Johnson. Ronnie, Ronnie, let's start with you. Do you see this garden as something that could actually raise morale around the country?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Okay. And, Josh, what's your take?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys. Fist fighting over Paul Giamatti is not what the Garden of Heroes is all about.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Excuse me, guys, before we get into their outfits, I just want to point out that neither of you have mentioned any women heroes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Imagine walking through the park and seeing Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony, and other inspiring women who would look great as gnomes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Well, it's a garden. Obviously, all the heroes will be gnomes. You'll be walking around and be like, oh, look, it's Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Guys, guys, this garden is tearing us apart. Please, let's compromise, okay? For the sake of all unity and all things dignified, we will give Ronnie a Paul Giamatti statue.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And to please Josh, Giamatti will be wearing a John Adams hat.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And he'll be naked on a horse next to a proud gnomes baiter Ginsburg.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Okay, you know what? Forget it. Forget the garden. Unification canceled. Ronnie Chang and Josh Johnson, everyone. When we come back, Charlamagne will give us his opinion.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
Yesterday, Donald Trump unveiled his big plan to relocate Gazans and turn their homeland into the world's holiest hard rock hotel and casino. And today, the reviews are in. The Arab world hates it. Democrats condemn it. Republicans have problems with it. And the Palestinians won't abide by it. Or as Trump says... Everybody loves it. I stand corrected. I guess everybody loves it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Desi Lydon.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
We all know I've got great opinions, but I'm not the only one. Studies show that other people also have opinions. So here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend Charlamagne Tha God.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Gaza Backtrack, Trans Sports Ban, Garden of American Heroes | Ke Huy Quan
And even though the plan was totally perfect in every way, his staff spent the entire next day walking back every single part of it.