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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | TDS Holiday Movies

Mon, 23 Dec 2024

Description

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and The Daily Show has the perfect way to celebrate it. Take a look back at some of the best holiday sketches throughout the years.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: What special highlights does The Daily Show offer for the holidays?

5.352 - 15.898 Desi Lydic

Hey everyone, Desi Lydic here. The Daily Show is on break for the holidays, but in the meantime, we put together some special highlights for you. We'll be back in the new year on January 7th with all new episodes.

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24.835 - 28.516 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

He was a poll worker doing his part in a local election.

0

28.796 - 30.456 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

No matter who you voted for, democracy wins.

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30.936 - 31.436 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Shut up.

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33.157 - 35.817 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

She was a self-appointed election monitor.

35.837 - 46.439 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

He's harvesting ballots! That's voter fraud! Ballot mule! 2,000 mules! 2,000 mules! Hey! I got one! I've got one!

46.779 - 49.72 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

But when a mandatory recount brought them together...

50.785 - 55.966 Desi Lydic

You can't take these boats. Like hell I can't. These are made of Chinese bamboo. You can't fool me. They belong here.

57.146 - 59.287 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Underneath this randomly hung mistletoe.

Chapter 2: How do holiday movies reflect political themes?

175.704 - 178.765 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Ma'am. Ma'am. Please calm down.

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179.445 - 197.637 Desi Lydic

Don't tell me to calm down, you woke elitist. And why don't you take that mask off? Take it off and face me like a man. And keep it off. Looks like Santa came early this year.

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198.577 - 204.621 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Now this holiday, they'll both be learning CRT, Christmas Romance Theory.

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204.841 - 207.283 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

You know, oat milk is more sustainable than almond milk.

0

207.916 - 210.077 Desi Lydic

Ugh, shut your cuck mouth and kiss me.

215.3 - 220.122 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

But can two people who don't agree on history ever have a future?

220.682 - 222.783 Desi Lydic

Does your sweater say happy holidays?

222.803 - 224.404 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Yeah, it's more inclusive.

225.824 - 230.487 Desi Lydic

You never understood me. Or Christmas.

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