The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TikTok Shutdown Looms, Israel - Hamas Ceasefire Agreement, and Trump-Style Lawyers | ALOK
Thu, 16 Jan 2025
Jordan Klepper reports on the Israel-Hamas ceasefire and TikTok’s final days. Michael Kosta joins the ranks of those turning to Chinese alternative apps like RedNote. Plus, the lawyers who will get you out of trouble, Trump-style. Comedian, actor, and poet ALOK sits down with Jordan Klepper to discuss their new comedy special, “Biology!” They talk joking about death, and humor as a practice of resistance.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the latest on the Israel-Hamas ceasefire?
But for now, let's talk about another crisis just as serious as what's happening in the Middle East. I'm talking about TikTok. A.K.A. the reason your thumb is so frickin' jacked. I find that genuinely disturbing. TikTok is the hottest app in the U.S., and next week, it's frickin' gone.
First, a story that is on a lot of people's minds this morning, the looming shutdown of TikTok here in the U.S.
Yeah, a federal ban on this popular Chinese-owned app is set to take effect on Sunday.
The argument from the U.S. government is that TikTok presents a national security risk and that the Chinese-owned company is stealing user data.
Chapter 2: Why is TikTok facing a shutdown in the U.S.?
Y'all, we are so indescribably cooked.
I know the government's argument is, oh, we want to protect your data. F*** you and the data, bitch!
The United States has done a lot of stupid things. This has to be number one.
That's the number one worst thing? I mean, we did slavery in America. I mean, let's at least call it a tie, shall we? TikTok users are upset about this, but there's not much they can do. Congress passed a bill, the president signed it, and the Supreme Court seems ready to rule that the ban is constitutional, which I don't think we can be surprised by, because this is...
is not exactly TikTok's core demographic. I mean, they're more of a Walgreens app type of crowd. They're old and sickly, is what I'm saying. I mean, the last time the Supreme Court heard the sound TikTok was when death was following RBG around. Although, there's still a chance that TikTok can be saved before the Costco guys are euthanized on Sunday.
So TikTok would be allowed to keep operating if it's sold to an American owner, and there's no shortage of interest.
New names are surfacing as potential buyers for the platform, including Elon Musk. Mr. Beast has joined the bid to buy TikTok. Former Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin previously launched an effort to buy it. And Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary says he and other investors are also making a play.
Yes! There is still a chance TikTok could be sold to one of America's many rich weirdos. Apparently, Lex Luthor wasn't available. So this is the best America has to offer. I mean, I actually heard myself say, man, I hope that TikTok goes to someone sane, like Mr. Beast. I mean, can't there be one cool potential buyer? Shaquille O'Neal, I'm talking to you.
Stop buying so many Papa John's franchises and get real about your investment future. The trad wives and the big-headed bitches with the trench coats buttoned up to the top need you. But if no American buyer emerges, there's still one more wild card. The wild card. Donald Trump. Now, he tried to ban TikTok during his first term, but he's now trying to save the app.
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Chapter 3: What are the potential alternatives to TikTok?
Chapter 4: How does Trump view TikTok now?
The question is, why would Americans be so cavalier about the threat of China spying? Maybe it's because after years of receiving monthly emails about how every American company has lost or stolen our data, we've become cynical about the concept of privacy. Or maybe we actually get off on knowing China is spying on us the whole time.
Maybe it's gotten so bad, I can't even enjoy a cat video anymore unless I know Xi Jinping is watching me from some digital cuck chair in the corner. So... Looks like this new app, Red Note, is exploding. And the last time something from China went this viral was... It's not important. But we need to see what people are discovering once they're onto it.
One thing that I've noticed since being on Red Note for like the last two days is how much more advanced the Chinese culture is than what I had in my brain. Most of these Chinese people, they look so much less traumatized than most Americans. I am no longer convinced that we are living in a first world country. While lurking on Red Note, I found out about this car.
We can't sell this car because it's Chinese. Look how cute it is. They sell in pink. It's like $15,000, which is affordable.
$7.
Is this what they don't want us to know?
That's not a good sign for America. I was made to think a communist dictator was bad, but check out these corn prices. Daddy likey. Come on, America, fight back. If Chinese people show you their cheap corn, you show them a robust free press. Okay, no, okay. Or you show them our fair and impartial justice, not that, okay. Dave and Busters. Show them our Dave and Busters.
Hell yeah, in your commie faces. For more on all the TikTok alternatives, let's go live to Beijing with Michael Kosta. Michael. Michael, what do you think about apps like Lemonade and Red Note?
Jordan, those apps are as useless as Grindr. None of the dudes I met on Grindr even knew how to grind pesto at all. Great sex, though. Luckily, I found a new TikTok alternative. It's called Psyop, and it's the best app yet. The app is called PsyOp, as in psychological operation? What? No, why do people keep asking that?
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Chapter 5: What legal troubles might you face and how to avoid them?
And so when people say, we're erasing biology, we're erasing biology, I'm like, okay, maybe, but just you're pointing the wrong thing. And so from the perspective of death, I believe that all living is just stand-up comedy. because that's kind of looking at us being like, oh my God, that's so funny and so cute that you think that like that new shoe is going to prevent you from dying. Yeah.
Silly little bitch. And so I kind of wanted to make a show that was basically about having to reckon with the fact that We waste so much of our time with absurd antics, like hating other people, judging other people, when at the end of the day, we're all human, which means we're going to die.
And if we remember that, then we have the potential for profound empathy because we're all in this together. Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
It's... There's something unifying about that absurdism. Like if I were to make a pretentious reference, Albert Camus would talk about imagining Sisyphus happy. That it's an absurd life that we lead. Can you just give me my space? Will you give me my space? Camus would say imagine Sisyphus happy as he pushes this rock up because all of existence is inherently meaningless.
And so reckon with that and then connect with your neighbors.
I identify as a pretentious piece of shit. So do I. You are speaking my love language right now. I'm like, Camus, the goat.
I want to quote you back at yourself, and I want you to talk about this, too. You also say humorlessness is what loses any campaign for social change. Talk to me about that.
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Chapter 6: What is Alok's new comedy special about?
What's really frustrating is most people think that trans people are just snowflakes, humorless, hypersensitive. But if you spend a couple of centuries surviving attempted eradication, you get kind of bored with being depressed. It's just a major buzzkill, you know? So then you just have a lot of time on your hand to do something else.
And so you just start like cracking jokes or whatever to survive. And then you begin to realize actually maybe part of the oppression is keeping you miserable because whenever you're in a space that's comedic, that's a space of possibility and expansion. And so what I started to realize in my own life was there are powers that be that want me to hate myself and to be sad.
And what's profoundly rebellious when you're a marginalized person is recognizing that people might have the ability to take your rights, they might have the ability to take away your safety, but they can't take away your joy. And so what humor has become for me is a practice of resistance, of saying, oh, you're oppressing me? Thank you so much for the comedic material.
You are gonna keep me gainfully employed. You see that?
It's no secret a lot of people do feel scared right now. They feel like it's a time for social change, activist movements, and I think they can be called... They don't see a space for humor.
Do you fear that the people who are looking to make a change in the next regime, whether it's this next administration or just the time that we're in, that they will lose that sense of humor and, in fact, lose some power with that?
Hmm. Yes, I do fear that.
Yeah.
But then I hang out with my friends. And I think that there's two conversations happening in this country. There's the conversation we're having with the people that we love and then the performance bit we have to put on. And what I noticed in my own career is I was afraid that people would not take seriously the critiques I had if I showed how funny I was, which is so ironic.
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