The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump's Tariff Boredom, Hegseth Goes Diet Woke, Sports War: Super Bowl | Jesse Eisenberg
Wed, 12 Feb 2025
Jordan Klepper on Trump's boredom over his own tariffs, Pete Hegseth's half-woke Fort Bragg rebrand, and Eric Adams's "get out of jail" card. Plus, Grace Kuhlenschmidt, Michael Kosta, and Troy Iwata take a lesson from Mayor Adams on how to multi-task at the salon. Sports War: Klepper & Ronny spar over Super Bowl LIX and Kendrick's halftime show. Academy Award-nominated actor Jesse Eisenberg sits down to discuss writing, directing, and starring in his Oscar-nominated film, "A Real Pain." They talk about carrying generational grief and grappling with his own life’s meaning as a descendant of Holocaust survivors, how his relationship with Kieran Culkin mirrors their characters, and how that influenced his role as director.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is Trump's stance on tariffs?
Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Jordan Klepper. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Donald Trump is reaching across the prison yard aisle. The military gets half-woke. And we'll tell you how New York's mayor stays smooth as a dolphin. But first, let's get into another installment of the second coming of Donald J. Trump. Donald Trump has been imposing a lot of tariffs since he took office.
And if the nature and scope of these tariffs confuses you, don't worry. You're not the only one.
Thank you, sir. Next, in 2018, you imposed ad valorem duties tariffs on imports of steel at a 25 percent rate. Since that time, a large number of exclusions and exceptions to that tariff rule have been implemented.
Because of the damage to the United States steel industry that those exceptions and exclusions have imposed, this order would reimpose that 25% ad valorem tariff rate on imports of steel, and it's presented for your signature now.
Do you understand what that means?
Do you understand what that means? I mean, why don't you tell me, President of the United States, what this means? Explain ad valorem to me like I was a child. This is Trump's own policy, and he's so bored by it. And you can tell, because at one point, he gets so bored, he just starts peeking into a random folder on the desk. Like, what's in here? Candy? Picture of boobs? What do we got?
Oh, oh, oh, just more falters. Why is this guy still talking? Trump's not the only one making moves. Yesterday, there was a big announcement from Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, Trump's top cabinet member, if you go by blood alcohol level. Now, Hegseth got the gig by promising to go to war against woke, and yesterday, he won another decisive battle.
Defense Secretary Pete Hagsmith has renamed the Army base Fort Liberty back to Fort Bragg. The previous name was changed, you'll remember, to Fort Liberty in 2023 as part of an effort to cut military honors bestowed on those who rebelled against the Union during the Civil War.
There it is. I direct the Army to change the name of Fort Liberty, North Carolina to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. That's right. Bragg is back.
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Chapter 2: Why was Fort Liberty renamed back to Fort Bragg?
Hegseth, look, I say either commit to honoring a Confederate general or don't. But trying to find some kind of name loophole is just silly. I mean, why do I get the feeling Pete's going to try to pull this with his wife? Baby, baby, I didn't cheat on you. Her name was also Susan, okay? I'm restoring greatness to our marriage.
Now, with all this tariff imposing and Fort renaming, you might be wondering, is there anyone who's benefiting from Trump's actions? Yes.
Breaking news, President Trump's Justice Department moving to drop the federal corruption case against the New York City mayor, Eric Adams.
The mayor was accused of taking $100,000 in free plane tickets and luxury hotel stays from wealthy Turkish nationals and at least one Turkish government official.
I am.
Curious. What was it about Adam's case that convinced Trump to drop the charges?
As soon as Donald Trump was elected, Adams began a campaign for a reprieve. Flying down to Florida to meet with Trump, driving overnight to attend Trump's inauguration, the Democratic mayor declining to criticize Trump.
Oh, God. Trump really loves getting his ass kissed, doesn't he? This probably explains why all his suit pants have that little trap door on the butt like old-timey long underwear. Now, to be fair... Now, to be fair, the Justice Department didn't say they let Adams off because he kissed Trump's ass. They had an even dumber reason.
The Justice Department memo said it reached this conclusion without assessing the strength of the evidence. The memo also said the case needed to go so Adams could devote his full attention to Trump's immigration policies.
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Chapter 3: How did Eric Adams avoid federal charges?
I'm sorry. Grace, are you getting your hair done when you should be working?
Jordan, when Sebastian has a chair open, you take the appointment.
Okay, yeah, I guess. It just doesn't seem very professional.
How dare you? Sebastian is a complete professional. In fact, I can't believe you'd host this show without a fresh balayage.
Okay, I mean, I am due for a balayage. I mean, let's get more analysis now from Troy Iwata. Troy, come on. I mean, come on. Troy, what's going on?
Jordan, Eric Adams has promised to not be affected by the pardon, but that remains to be seen.
I'm sorry.
Troy, are you getting your teeth whitened?
Yeah. You're supposed to be working. What's going on? Jordan, when Dr. Bucatini has a chair open, you take the appointment. Okay. Is he really that good? Yes, she is. Women can whiten teeth too, you sexist. Okay. Where is that ditzy bitch?
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Chapter 4: What happened during the Super Bowl and halftime show?
Jordan, have you been doing ayahuasca of Aaron Rodgers again? Okay, we can't cancel the Super Bowl. It's the only thing keeping Gronk from going through our garbage at night. Plus, I don't know about you, but this was the best Super Bowl of my life. I mean, yeah, it had touchdowns, Tom Brady's new face, seal as a seal, and Jordan losing an ass-ton of money betting on the Chiefs.
I mean, what happened, Mahomes?
You look like Ronnie out there, completely lost with the terrible haircuts. The Chiefs were my ticket out of this hellhole. And now I owe a lot of money to a very, very bad man.
Which brings us to my Jordan owes me a lot of money better than nights. Which big Italian man will I send to Jordan's house tonight? As always, brought to you by gambling. Gambling. You have two kidneys for a reason.
Now, while Philly dominated the big game, it's important to remember, the Chiefs weren't the only ones getting dragged all over the field on Sunday.
For 13 minutes, Kendrick Lamar provided the world with a halftime show that stayed true to himself. Just as we thought it might not happen, Kendrick took the elephant in the room for a walk around the Superdome. King Kendrick went hard, leading the stadium in his accusatory taunt.
The knockout blow in his public battle with Drake.
I've had it with these motherfucking Drakes on this motherfucking plane! Hey, Kendrick, the world's on fire, the president's in the stands, and you're using the biggest stage on the planet to go after Drake again? We get it. You don't like him. Save your petty beef for the group chat. Like Ronnie's fake accent, you're overdoing it.
All right, well, I disagree with you, Jordan, because unlike you, I love black people. And I thought Kendrick's performance was incredible. I mean, he proved what I've been saying for decades. The halftime show should always be about petty grievances. I mean, next year, I want to see Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni jousting to the death. Presented by gambling. Of course, gambling.
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