TDS Time Machine | Best of Steve Carrell - Part 2
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Why did a town in Florida ban Satan?
While most small towns do their best to fight crime and drugs, the mayor of Inglis, Florida is far more ambitious. I feel like Satan is everywhere. He's just that type of guy. As a public servant, Carolyn Risher knew it was her duty to protect the citizens from Beelzebub.
How did Carolyn Risher ban Satan from Inglis?
Our church had a weenie roast. A light came on in my mind, and I said, I want to do a proclamation. And I want to do it on town letterhead with a town seal banning Satan from our town. And so Mayor Risher courageously legislated the devil out of town. Be it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, is not now nor ever again will be a part of this town of England. Satan is hereby declared powerless. I proclaim victory over Satan. I take this action in accordance with the words of our Lord and Savior. Jesus Christ sealed this fifth day of November 2001. The effects of the mayor's Satan ban were immediate and miraculous. But there were some minor issues. Just to play devil's advocate for a minute. Right. Does this proclamation violate the separation of church and state? No, sir. Question, answer. But how has the town reacted? How has the town reacted? Wonderful. Supportive?
What were the reactions to the Satan ban?
Oh. I'm not happy with it at all. It's everyone's right to believe the way they want to believe. And having this proclamation on town letterhead, it sort of shoves it down everybody's throat, like it or not. Why are you in support of Satan coming to town? I'm not in support of Satan coming to town. So you would say you are pro-Satan? No. So you are pro-Satan? No. But why do you want Satan in your town? I don't want Satan in my town. Why do you like Satan so much? I don't like Satan. It was clear I needed to take a different tack. In terms of supporting Satan, why are you? But despite one or two Satan-loving dissenters, it seemed like Mayor Risher's biggest challenge was enforcing her ban. I am Satan. I'm trying to come into your town. What do you say to me? You have no right to come into English. Well, I don't care about your proclamation. I'm coming in.
I'm all evil, and I'm coming in. Looks like a nice town to set up shop.
Who is Steve 'Crocodile' Carrell?
But we can rebuke Satan. We have that power to rebuke Satan. Well, I'm coming in. I don't care what you say. Satan, you are powerless in this town. Imagine I'm Satan. You take away that proclamation. How are you going to keep me out of Inglis? We have a lot of God-fearing Christians.
What exotic animals does Steve Carrell introduce?
That's it.
Yes, with Mayor Risher on the case, there will be nowhere for Satan to hide. Or will there?
There are over a million species of animals on this earth here. Here to show us a few of the more exotic ones, our own zoological expert, Steve Crocodile Carell. This will be fun. This will be great. This will be great. Uh, Crocodile Carell. How you doing? I'm doing well. I didn't know that you had a nickname.
Uh, I'm sorry?
Crocodile. I'd never heard that before. I didn't know that was your nickname.
Oh, okay. Actually, it's pronounced Crocodile. I was named after my grandmother. All right. Well, you know what? Why don't we just get to the animals? Great. Excellent idea. I think you're going to be very, very excited about what we have in store for you today, John. I'm donning these only as a precaution. Now, these animals are used to being in front of people. They're used to being handled. But they're animals, right? Exotic animals. Exotic animals. And they're unpredictable. You really never know.
Is there something I should do? Should I get out of the way? Should I?
No, I mean, I'm a professional at this, so don't be too afraid. But if you see one start to leap at you, I'd take it away. All right, well, let's get to it.
I'm excited about this.
Let's get to it. Now, this first animal is actually of European descent.
Yeah.
It's called Canis familiaris. Yeah. It's from the Latin. Let's get him out of there right now. Now, I want you to look closely. Now, don't be afraid, John, OK?
Yeah.
I want you to look closely at this animal's teeth and jaw. If we can get a shot. Well, I'll have to describe the teeth for you, not being too... Oh, are we getting that? Are we getting the teeth? John, if you can imagine, do you know what chiclets are? If you can imagine sharpening chiclets with a file... That's what these teeth are like.
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