There's a new pope, and he's made in America. Celebrate the election of Chicago's Pope Leo XIV with a look back at The Daily Show's papal past. Jon Stewart breaks down all the news following the death of Pope John Paul II with help from Ed Helms. Jon discovers the Pope has a Twitter handle. Ed Helms demos his conclave simulator. Jon covers the ascendance of Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Francis, and finally covers the papal views on economics, aka Popenomics. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What is the significance of Pope John Paul II's death?
But as funeral preparations continue, the death of Pope John Paul II has prompted tributes from around the world. In Argentina, the nation's leaders attended church, while Mexican President Vincente Fox paid a call to his country's Vatican embassy. Elsewhere, the Pope, who was credited as a leading force of anti-communism in the 80s, was fondly remembered by... What?
That's right, a condolence book signed by none other than Fidel Castro, who, and I say this with all respect, is next. That's the pool I'm in. But perhaps the most moving tribute took place in Brazil, specifically that Catholic hotbed of Rio de Janeiro where soccer fans remembered the Holy Father like this. Pope! And these people are mourning You cannot bring the Brazilians down. You can't do it!
In Rome, millions of people filled the streets for a chance to pay their respects to the pontiff in person. While outside St. Peter's Cathedral, Italian officials struggled to provide the crowds with blankets, portable toilet facilities, and of course, incomprehensible cinema. Probably would have been better off with just more toilets. One international worshiper described his dedication.
I'm from Poland, from Warsaw. I came to Rome yesterday at nine o'clock. I walk, I've been walking for 10 hours. He added.
Did you see the bald spot? been working on that. We're going to take you out to Rome, Vatican City actually, where Daily Show people correspondent Ed Helms is standing by. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. I understand that you have joined the throngs, the millions, in Rome.
That's correct, John. Like countless others from around the globe, I am waiting on line here in Rome. I've just started hour 16. Don't know if I'm going to make it. We're not all going to get there.
But Ed, can you give us a little bit of a sense of what it's like to be there in Rome during this historic moment?
It's terrific, John. No problems at all. As you know, the Italians are famous for their organizational skills. They're handling this sudden influx of three million pilgrims like a Fiat handles on the autostrada. So you would mean terribly. It's not good, John. But they have done some things well.
Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta-potties, and perhaps even more important, porta-confessionals. As it turns out, 99% of all sins happen on pilgrimages.
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Chapter 2: How did the world react to Pope John Paul II's passing?
Chapter 3: What challenges do pilgrims face in Rome?
That's correct, John. Like countless others from around the globe, I am waiting on line here in Rome. I've just started hour 16. Don't know if I'm going to make it. We're not all going to get there.
But Ed, can you give us a little bit of a sense of what it's like to be there in Rome during this historic moment?
It's terrific, John. No problems at all. As you know, the Italians are famous for their organizational skills. They're handling this sudden influx of three million pilgrims like a Fiat handles on the autostrada. So you would mean terribly. It's not good, John. But they have done some things well.
Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta-potties, and perhaps even more important, porta-confessionals. As it turns out, 99% of all sins happen on pilgrimages.
Well, that's interesting. That's an interesting statistic. It does sound like there's been a spirit of coming together there.
Yeah, absolutely. John, there's nothing like death to bring people together. Oh, hey, looks like I'm up. Arigato. This stuff is awesome.
Ed, you were online for gelato?
Dude, you can't get this stuff in the United States. This is like triple delicious ice cream. It's better than sex. Reminds me, I gotta hit one of those confessionals. All right, well, thank you very much.
Ed Helms, everybody, from Rome. Now, of course, that looked absolutely realistic. Of course, for many of us, the passing of Pope John Paul is a time for reflection on how to use the Pope's death to further your own agenda. It's a difficult task. After all, it would be impossible to sum up this Pope's personal, political, and religious beliefs with just one simple talking point.
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Chapter 4: How does the Vatican handle the papal conclave?
Chapter 5: What role does social media play in the Vatican's communication strategy?
You'd really have something to tune into. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen. That? Wait a minute, that? That's what you guys are gonna laugh at? I'm up here busting my nuts all show for nothing. We throw up Pope's secret. Oh, I am very... No, I can have Oprah disappear, you people. I'm friends with her. The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen.
For some, this will mean days away from their wives, although those are the bad cardinals. But, um... For further privacy, electronic jamming and anti-bugging devices have been hidden under a false floor in the chapel, making it impossible to even get a cell phone signal.
Which is good, because when you're making your case to be the spiritual leader of 1.1 billion people, nothing undercuts your argument like... Ratzinger! During each round of voting, the cardinals write the names of their chosen candidates on ballots marked illigo in summum pontificum, which, if my Latin serves me correctly, is just a bunch of crazy gibberish.
They keep voting until two-thirds of the pope cardinals agree on one man. After three days, if they don't, a simple majority will suffice. If that still doesn't do the trick, each side gets one possession from the 25-yard line with a minute on the clock. Now, as is well known, the cardinal's progress is monitored by the color of the smoke emerging from the Vatican chimney.
Today, black smoke emerged, meaning a pope had not been chosen. But when a pope is chosen, the chimney will look like this.
Um-di-li-li-lum-di-li-lay...
For more on the Conclave, we're going to go out to our senior religion correspondent, Ed Helms, who is in Vatican City tonight. Ed, thank you so much for joining us. Talk to us, Ed. How's it going out there in Vatican City?
John, the security here is tight. The Sistine Chapel is locked down. The place has been swept for bugs, surrounded by Swiss guards. Frescoes are rigged with explosives. Cyborg armies patrol the roof and, of course, the Sloman's Shield.
So there's really no sense, I guess, a way for you to get in there and get a sense of what's happening?
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Chapter 6: How does the media cover the papal election?
The pope did something popes rarely do, participating in a broadcast special on the Shroud of Turin. It's the first televised showing in 40 years of the Shroud, only the second time in history.
What a relief to Catholics everywhere. To have their new pope go on television, this is the only dirty laundry he's gonna be airing. But I get it, Mr. Varney, you're a supply-sider. You want to hear a moral argument about that type of economics. Well, let's look to a gentleman seen as a voice of moral authority for millions of people.
Today, Pope Francis denounced trickle-down economics as unfair to the poor.
He calls unfettered capitalism a new tyranny, and he urges world leaders to fight poverty and inequality.
Money must serve, not rule. I exhort you to generous solidarity and to the return of economics and finance to an ethical approach which favors human beings.
Ooh, somebody light some incense, that's gonna go over like a fart in church.
I disagree with the Pope, who doesn't like free market capitalism. I think free market capitalism is a great liberator.
Ah! You're going up against the Pope? You're going up against the Pope on how to help the poor? Helping the poor is in this man's wheelhouse. This Pope helps the poor. But you're telling him how to do his job? Pope doesn't come over to where you work and slap Jamie Dimon's out of your mouth. That's weird, that wasn't in the prompter.
Can anyone actually have a rebuttal for the Pope? With all due humility, and as a church-going Catholic convert, a devotional convert, I adore the Holy Father. I still must completely disagree. Need I remind His Holiness Pope Francis, charity is a gospel value, and that puts free market capitalism on the right side of the Lord.
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