Ed Helms
Appearances
Office Ladies
Webisode: Subtle Sexuality
So they asked me to audition for Subtle Sexuality, so I gave them a little followed by some and I sealed the deal with
Office Ladies
Webisode: Subtle Sexuality
Kelly gets to kind of erupt in this webisode series, but also Mindy Kaling does too. She's directing these.
Office Ladies
Webisode: Subtle Sexuality
Yeah. I'm really excited. This is going to be a great video.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Okay. I took two years of Spanish. Okay. To attract tourists, the town has relaxed some of its more excessive rules. Among the changes, opening more beaches for kayaking, adding a five-minute grace period at parking meters, and then there's this.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Cape May has lifted its 30-year ban on men in skin-tight bathing suits, commonly referred to as Speedos. Atlantic City has gambling. Wildwood has broken bottle fights. Cape May has Speedos.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Might it be a huge package? Despite the obvious appeal to tourists, some local merchants think that Speedos have no place in Cape May.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Well, who died and made you the nut police?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Unattractive? Are we talking about the same thing? Because I'm talking about the little... I'm having trouble picturing a Speedo that is not attractive.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Bob, have you ever had a problem with someone, for lack of a better term, popping a steenrod in one of these things? Wow. Haven't seen that. Even those who oppose throngs of thong-wearing Europeans on their beaches seem more than willing to cash in. Does your store sell Speedos?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
If by panty you mean Speedo, then yes, I agree with you. Lily was clearly in denial. Speedos are everywhere, sometimes where you least expect them. What if I told you that I'm wearing a Speedo right now? See? There's nothing to be afraid of.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
That kind of attitude is a startling reminder of yesteryear, when Cape May's beaches were segregated. Since then, Cape May has come a long way. But has it come far enough? To find out if attitudes around Cape May have really changed, I equipped myself with a hidden camera. underneath my ball sack. Let's put it to the test, shall we?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
While the locals appeared to be friendly, Nut Cam told a different story. But after a little while, people seemed to open up to me. I even caught up on some of my favorite periodicals at the local library. Although my fellow sunbathers oddly chose not to wear Speedos, they supported me and my choice. The sensation was liberating, so much so that my enthusiasm for Speedos overwhelmed me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Overall, it seemed Kate May was embracing speedos, perhaps some members of the community a little too much. George Andrews, a student at the University of California, Davis, had a secret, something known only to a few special friends who shared his orientation. I am a conservative.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
In a classy display of solidarity and mutual understanding, George and his friends scheduled conservative coming out day during UC Davis Gay Pride Week. But that didn't spare conservatives the wrath of campus bullies. Bullies like Aldrich Tan.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Ouch! It's venom like that George has to deal with every day. Let's do a role play. Sure thing. I'm just your average... UC Davis student, and I come up to you in the lunchroom, and I'm like, hey, George, you asshole, what's with the attitude that you're spreading all over this campus, you asshole?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
You're not, you're still being like third person. Okay, so let's try this again. Okay. F*** you. Shut the f*** up.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Maybe George can't role play because the pain is just too strong. Do you ever get sad just because of the way people treat you?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Let me get this bad boy out here. Polly Pops. Thank you. Hopefully, one day, more people like George will come out of the closet, enough that conservatives will be able to say without fear, we're here. We control the entire government, most major corporations, and many media outlets. Get used to it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
and welcome to another edition of Digital Watch. Today, we're going to talk about the camera cell phone. How many times has this happened to you? Okay, everybody, say cheese. Ready? Oh. All right, wait. Wait, say cheese. Oh, God.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Well, if you're like me, that's never happened. And thanks to the latest and hottest gadget in America, it will still never happen. The camera cell phone, a revolutionary advance in our drive to put multiple things into one thing, is the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of digital technology.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
It combines the rapid battery depletion of a high-powered digital camera with the image production capability of a phone. Already, this device is used by an estimated 80 million people worldwide, and it's no wonder. With these portable, easily concealed dynamos, violating someone's privacy has never been easier or more fun. So turn off that sorority house shower webcam, Grandpa.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
In fact, the makers of these phones actually make invasion of privacy the principal selling point in their ads. Gina, check this out. I'm sitting next to your new boyfriend.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Busted! Oh, yeah! I bet now you're all gonna think twice about eating. Now, for those of you who are new to this technology, it's worth sharing a few tips. First of all, know your technology. You don't want to confuse the phone function with the camera function, otherwise you may end up with a memory chip filled with these. And number two, always get releases from your subjects.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
A release is a simple legal form indemnifying you from any legal action should a picture you've taken end up in a major national publication, such as Leg Show or Shaved Asian. I cannot stress enough, verbal permission will not hold up in court, as I learned to my dismay in the case of Helms v. Wong. So there you have it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
Kate May, New Jersey. A charming little beach town that set the standard for taste and sophistication we've come to associate with the Jersey Shore. But in recent years, tourists have taken their fanny packs elsewhere. To bring visitors back, town leaders developed the Cool Cape May campaign.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Best of Ed Helms Pt. 2
The camera cell phone, another example of technology's amazing power to improve your quality of life at the expense of everyone else's. For Digital Watch, I'm Ed Helms.