On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Khloé Kardashian: My Side that Nobody Knows (Truth Behind Headlines, Divorce, Co-Parenting)
Mon, 05 May 2025
Have you ever been seen in a way that didn’t feel true to who you are? Who do you feel truly sees you for who you are? Today, Jay sits down once again with the incredible Khloé Kardashian to talk about growth, healing, and what it really means to evolve on your own terms. It’s been six years since Khloé first sat down with Jay, and a lot has changed. Now in her 40s, Khloé reflects on the defining moments of her 30s, the clarity she’s found in this new chapter, and how her journey has shaped the woman she is today In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Khloé opens up about what it really took to move through heartbreak, public judgment, and her own self-doubt. She shares how she learned to forgive herself, let go of shame, and step into a deeper sense of self-awareness. Khloé talks about navigating the pressures around motherhood, relationships, and success — and how therapy, journaling, and her unwavering faith helped her rediscover her worth and inner peace. Jay and Khloé also dive into what it looks like to slow down, make room for solitude, and intentionally choose joy. She offers a glimpse into her daily routines, the spiritual practices that ground her, and how she’s creating a loving, mindful environment for her children, one rooted not in perfection, but in presence and authenticity. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Set Emotional Boundaries Without Losing Your Kindness How to Forgive Yourself and Heal from Past Mistakes How to Use Solitude as a Tool for Self-Discovery How to Stop Comparing Your Journey to Others How to Build Emotional Resilience After Betrayal How to Raise Emotionally Aware and Grounded Children How to Find Peace Through Faith and Daily Rituals Through her candid storytelling and unwavering humility, Khloé offers hope, wisdom, and an empowering message of self-acceptance to anyone navigating their own inner transformation. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Join Jay for his first ever, On Purpose Live Tour! Tickets are on sale now. Hope to see you there! What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:33 Aging Doesn’t Have to Be Scary 05:17 Visualizing Your Life in Your 40s 06:23 It’s Okay to Be Unsure 07:39 How Maturity Brings Stability 09:35 Why We’re Always Chasing More 12:09 The Truth About Success 13:55 Practice Self-Intentionality 16:42 Stop Letting Validation Control You 19:47 Balancing Accountability and Forgiveness 21:42 Learn to Be Patient with Yourself 23:10 Everyone Learns on Their Own Timeline 24:30 A Path to Self-Forgiveness 27:20 When You Might Be the Problem 29:24 You Are Not Your Mistakes 31:39 The Work Only You Can Do 36:00 Rewiring a Negative Mindset 38:18 Why Therapy Can Be Transformative 41:11 Finding the Courage to Trust Again 43:17 Getting Comfortable with Being Vulnerable 46:19 It’s Brave to Let Yourself Cry 48:28 Understanding Your Love Language 52:02 We All Love Differently 54:21 The Beauty of Giving Love 55:31 Reuniting with Lamar After 9 Years 59:51 Leaving What No Longer Serves You 01:03:46 Releasing Residual Negativity 01:05:15 Why We All Need Empathy 01:09:04 What I Want My Kids to Remember 01:11:35 Why Kids Don’t Need the Internet 01:14:24 Dating as a Mom in Your 40s 01:15:28 How to Date More Intentionally 01:17:31 Embracing Alone Time 01:19:05 Leaning Into the Discomfort Episode Resources: Khloé Kardashian | Instagram Khloé Kardashian | X Khloé Kardashian | YouTube Khloud Foods Khloé in Wonder LandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Chapter 1: What does Khloé Kardashian think about aging?
I think your 30s is that, especially for women, because that's sort of when people feel like, oh, their biological clock is ticking. They should be married or have kids by this age. And the truth is people are getting married a little later. They are having kids later in life. And a lot of women are focusing on what their careers should be.
And so they're sort of putting the family stuff on the back burner. At least that's what I've noticed.
Yeah.
And for me, I had my kids. I had not so many great relationships in my 30s and in my younger 20s. But a lot of career stuff wasn't going the way that I envisioned and hoped and planned. And I really just wanted to get out of my 30s. I was like, I feel good. I have my kids. And that's my wonderful, beautiful takeaway.
And still, I also do believe that any of those experiences, they really are formative. And no matter how traumatic and horrible they are, you don't think that in the moment. But later on, you do get to self-reflect and be like, okay, I needed that for some reason. But going into my 40s, I was skipping and leaping and hopping into them.
How did you imagine your 40s were going to look when you were younger? And now that you're moving into them, how close are they? How different are those visions?
So I don't know if you've ever seen this meme, but it's a meme of the Golden Girls. And I think those ladies were in their 40s or early 50s when they're ushered away somewhere in Florida at, you know, have to live together because they're so old. And then they do side by sides with like a bunch of women in their 40s now, beautiful women. And the comparison, you're like, why was I so afraid?
But the representation that we had when we were younger was very different than what the 40s are or 50s now. I mean, Gabrielle Union, I don't exactly know how old everybody is, but Jennifer Lopez, you see all of these gorgeous women and you're like, wait, I think they're 40s, 50s, what am I afraid of?
And it's not so much even about the aesthetic, it's the liveliness that these women and the passion that these women have for life that you're like, that doesn't seem so bad.
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Chapter 2: How can you visualize your future self?
Yeah, what would you say, because I feel like we have such an amazing community of young women and women who listen to this show, and so many of them I know are thinking, gee, I'm 30 years old, I'm not married, there's so much pressure, I'm not in a serious relationship.
What words of advice, wisdom, insight, or lessons would you share with them in that period of their life where the societal pressure, the parental pressure, the personal pressure, the pressure of what's happening all around them on Instagram, TikTok, social media, how should they think about navigating that?
Number one, it's something I had to learn myself is comparison is the thief of joy. It takes everything out of anything that you're doing. If you're constantly comparing what you're doing to somebody else, because somebody else is only showing you their highlight reel anyway. We have to remember that
What we're doing is probably someone's looking at us and they're like, damn, that's an amazing highlight reel. I want that. But we're so conditioned now to constantly want more and more and never be satisfied. That makes me sad for my kids. And I always try. I have so many nieces and nephews. And three of them are the exact same age. It's my daughter and Kylie's daughter and Kim's daughter.
And sometimes that's challenging because they each want the same thing all the time. And I sort of like that because I like to say like, not just because someone has that doesn't mean you get to have that. And those are smaller lessons, but you learn that later in life so much bigger.
Mm-hmm.
And you can be inspired by others or motivated by others, but the jealousy or the comparison is something that we or I have had to even retrain my brain to not always look at someone and be like, well, why don't I have that? Or how can I get, like it should be more from a motivational way as opposed to an envious way.
But I also think, do you want to be married and have kids because that's what you were taught as a kid that you're supposed to do? Do you want that and a career? And which one do you want to have come first? And do you not want a career? And do you just want to be a mother? Whatever the answer is, is all okay because it's your life.
But sometimes I think that we live a life so much for other people and we forget to check in with ourselves. And it's okay if you had a desire in your 20s and now you're in your 30s. You're like, wait, I actually don't want that anymore. And I changed my direction. And it's okay to admit that to yourself.
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Chapter 3: Why is it okay to feel unsure in life?
Yeah, I think you've raised so many important points there. One of them that resonates with me is I always say to people, the only way you can purify envy is study. What I mean by that is when you study someone's success, you get motivated by it. When you envy someone's success, you get demotivated by it. Right. Because you feel it's not for me, I'm not going to get that.
When you study it, when you look at how they started, when you look at the challenges they've gone through, when you look at the ups and the downs, all of a sudden you realize you get so much inspiration. Right. That I can do it too, right? That that person's had a very normal human journey. And maybe I just don't see that because I'm only seeing the success. I'm not seeing the story.
And I think I get a very interesting take on that because I do that with me and my sisters. And so when I look at all of my siblings, I know so in-depthly also their struggles and how many companies we've all started that have failed, where so many people that you look up to, you don't hear every little thing until they're at the top.
And then they're telling you, this was how they got here, their success story. And sometimes you're like, okay, but... You're here now and it still seems unobtainable. But for me, I do get... I'm very lucky for my positioning because even though I see my siblings and I see all their success now, I remember how much stuff we...
tried to do and you know throw spaghetti on the wall and it just didn't stick but I don't know if outsiders would see that looking within our family all the time I think if you can you know go back and google back 2008 whatever you'll be like oh they did that and where's that company and so everyone has their failures but I wouldn't even call them failures what's the biggest lesson you're taking into your 40s something that you've been carrying with you into this time
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Chapter 4: How can maturity bring stability?
I talk to myself a lot. So I like to be really intentional. And I understand and I teach my daughter that happiness and positivity and all of that is a choice. And so what I like to is be very intentional with my days, my jobs, the things that I choose to do and spend time on. And not in a like smug sort of way.
But I wake up a lot and I'm like, oh, I'm just in either a melancholy mood or I'm woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm not a nice person today. And I'll look myself in the mirror and I will have a back and forth talk with myself. And I'm like, no, I'm happy today. I'm choosing happy. But so much of that came really when I was in my 40s, maybe my last 39th year. Yeah.
Because I realized how much of a dark cloud I felt was surrounding me in my 30s. But yes, things happen to me, but it's also my responsibility to choose how I respond to those things. And I think because of social media, maybe as well, that I let so much of the noise make me even sadder or make me feel like I was less worthy, less of a person that I needed to be so...
crumbled and embarrassed about what happened to me where yes I probably would have had those feelings but maybe not as long as I did because that narration was going on for so long and so I finally was sort of like screw every every dark noise I'm hearing and I'm going to say every day no I am worthy I'm worthy of a happy beautiful positive day being intentional in that way and it's
funny when I wake my kids up every day, I'm like, we're going to have a happy day because we choose to have a happy day. But embedding in them those small little affirmations, I mean, I'm 40 and I need it. So, you know, I think it's a good thing.
Yeah. I couldn't agree with you more. I always say to myself, like, I can't make, like the day doesn't have to be great to me, but I can make the day a great day. Right. Because there could be ups and downs. It could be someone says something, someone could... be mean to me, someone could cut me off in traffic, someone could do whatever it may be to me, but I get to choose how I respond.
I get to choose how I react and it makes such a difference. One of the themes in the show this year has been all of you talking about shedding the burdens of the past. And I think that's such an interesting thing because I think as you get older, you start to notice what you've been carrying with you, right? And you've had longer to carry it with you. And now you're more aware.
What was some of those things that came up for you when you were like, I think these are things that I've been holding onto that I need to shed. What are some of those burdens?
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Chapter 5: What is the truth about success?
I'm not a victim to this, but I do feel like I was in a way victimizing myself. But again, it sort of was more from the outside noise. I hate that I allowed other people to have that much control over the way I viewed myself. But I would say just from my past dating history, and a lot of them ended in cheating, or there was just, they weren't great situations at the end. But
Yes, I think even in the most private of times if that happened and nobody publicly knew about it, there's still shame within your family. You feel embarrassed. Like, you know, what did I do? You always make it about yourself. And that's okay because hopefully you will get stronger and reflect and not make those same mistakes again. And for me... They happened repeatedly.
And I was like, okay, this is about me. I'm either not paying attention. I'm sweeping something under the rug. I really wanted to be so aware of what I was doing and let that go. But let the guilt and the shame of that go because I, quote, allowed it to happen more than once. And I'm saying that because I didn't allow it to happen. But The narrative out there was like, well, you get what you get.
I should have known better. And yes, I probably should have. But I needed to learn that lesson. I know I carried so much shame and guilt where there would be times that I was like, I don't even want to go out to the grocery store and look at someone in the eyes because I feel like I know what they're thinking about me. They probably don't know who I am. They probably have never heard this story.
But the shame, this cloud that was... I felt following me everywhere that I don't know if it was even that big to other people, but I definitely felt like I was constantly surrounded by a gray cloud. I would limit myself from doing a lot of things and seeing a lot of people because I felt such shame where I was like intentionally, no, I'm going to let this go.
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Chapter 6: How to practice self-intentionality?
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And something I want to kind of go into with you is this idea of how do we take accountability, but not take full responsibility, right? It's that idea of like, as you said, you can't, you can't blame yourself. And at the same time, you had to find a way to recognize you wanted to make better decisions.
And I think it's such a fine line because I think we go from saying, it's not my fault, it's everyone else's fault, to the being like, oh, it's all my fault. It's all me. I'm the one to blame. I did this to myself. How did you find that balance, which requires so much thoughtfulness and maturity to actually get to that place where it's like, I'm going to take accountability to change my life.
But I'm also going to recognize that this happened to me, but it wasn't about me, as you said. How do you get to that?
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Chapter 7: What does it mean to stop letting validation control you?
Well, the interesting part is I think the very first time it happened, I didn't do that. And that's okay because it's done. And I also had to forgive myself for that. There was a time that I felt very guilty. Like, why did I even stay? Why am I not forgiving myself? I would blame myself forever.
And then the second time, you know, I, my surrogate was still pregnant with Tatum and the people didn't know yet that I was having Tatum, but I felt such shame that it was happening again because I knew I knew better.
Yeah, I mean, as I'm listening to you, I'm just thinking about the amount of people that are probably listening to you right now thinking, Chloe, I had that fantasy too. And you had the courage, even though at one point, as you said, you were kind of, why did I stay that long? Or why did I keep doing that? And you had to forgive yourself for that.
But I think a lot of people don't know how to know when something's no longer serving them. And as I'm listening to you, I'm listening to someone who's saying, I finally got to a point where I realized this fantasy wasn't serving me. It was keeping me here. We can't speed it up. No. We can't rush ourselves to it. You can't be forced to it.
No, and that's what I mean. I think people also need to be patient with themselves. Like if they don't, if you're not feeling accountable in some of the actions that you're making or something, what someone else is doing to you, that's okay. There will be a day that you will wake up.
And listen, if I was watching me when I was in my 20s, I would be judging that person too and being like, she's so stupid. It's going to happen again. I don't blame people for their judgment. I think with life comes great wisdom and life experiences. And if my story helped anybody else feel less alone, because it's such an isolating feeling.
You feel like you're on this island and it doesn't happen to anybody else. And sadly, it does. And I know so many people that stay longer than I did. And not that it's right, but you have to let go when you really feel like you're ready. Or I think that person will always feel like, well, what if and this and... I really just like to live my life in this. No, I'm solid in that action.
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Chapter 8: How to balance accountability and forgiveness?
I'm solid in that choice that I made.
You're making such a powerful point here. And I really want everyone to take it home as they're listening. Like you can only learn on your own timeline. You can't learn on anyone else's. You can't look at someone else's pace and say, oh, I should have done it like that. And why are they doing it like that? And I think we just don't,
it's really easy to look at someone else's life, whoever it may be, our friends, our family, people on the screen, and think we know how perfectly they should live, yet we all know how hard it is to make one decision in our own life. And what I've learned from ever having any training and learning from my spirituality and non-judgment was just that everything you judge in someone else
you won't fully understand until you have to go through it yourself.
I know.
And as soon as you go through it yourself, you wake up and you go, I cannot believe I judged someone else for how they were navigating a divorce, a breakup, a marriage, whatever it may have been.
And trust me, I was that person. All of us. Yes. When I was younger, I used to, you either read something and you have a comment about it or one of your friends or family members. And yes, and then you live your life and you go through it and you're like, hmm. Okay, I get it a little bit more. Yeah.
How did you learn to forgive yourself? Because I think that is sometimes harder. And if I could say this, just from the moments I've been fortunate enough to spend time with you and connect with you, and thankfully they've always been very deep. And so even though we haven't spent lots of time together, I feel when we have, it's always been... deep time.
It's always a meaningful conversation or an exchange. And as I'm sitting with you here today versus six years ago, the first time, and every time I've seen you in between, I feel you've got more and more peaceful. Thank you. Just in your presence. You've always been wonderful and kind, but more and And what I see is someone who's become a master in forgiveness.
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