Shane Gillis
Appearances
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
I just thought it was going to be funny. Garfield trans.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
That's taking it easy. That's 95 readiness for me. God damn, I was good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Yeah, you get the flu every week.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
You're quiet. Since I've come back, you're so quiet.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
It's like, dude, what? High school kids tossing pies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
There's no way you're pulling out with that fucking ass. I do pull out, but when I get the opportunity... Dude, you're going to leave the room to get out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Back it up. Big red fucking fire truck. Damn. I had to guess. I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Who the fuck is that? Write that on a piece of paper. I want to know who that is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
The squad. The fat boys. The fat boys rappers. That's the squad, bro. That's a good quote.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Yeah, they were fucking... They ran it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Oh, dude, that's the best. When did you jump off the porch? They all use, like, good slang.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Oh, Skrilla was, he interviewed Skrilla on one of them. And Skrilla was the man. Skrilla is the man. So far, everybody in Philly was like, Mr. Disrespectful.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I was like, Matt's going to do it, and Matt's going to try his hardest. And there's going to be no... There's no pressure. Like, he's going to just be like, I'm going to do my best. That's exactly what I did. Yeah, I know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
RIP. Bro. He got killed. It was the funniest interview I've ever seen. He's like, so why do they call you Mr. Disrespectful, bro? He's like, I'll just really be disrespecting everybody. It's like, all right, you fucking asshole.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, he got killed right after that interview. Yeah. But Skrilla was the only one that, because every time he always asks, he's like, would you put the guns down if the ops put the guns down? And everyone's always like, no, we got to exterminate the ops. Yeah. Skrilla was just like, yeah. Yeah. For sure. I think he had like a nice upbringing. Or nicer.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I did like Mr. Disrespectful. I love, yeah. It was pretty fun to look how he handled himself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Did you know that that's what it was going to be like?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, you see, I've gotten in fights at games.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's crazy how people think they can talk to you during a football game.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Because you can just destroy somebody and just shove them. I had some Michigan fans a while ago. Did you? Behind me and my cousin. Bro. And my cousin's nuts. He's out of his mind. And these guys were talking shit. And they're like, oh, what are you guys going to do about it? And I was just like, we're going to fucking kill you guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
They did. They were the row behind us. But we would have fucked them up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, I guess I have been in every game I go to. The Ohio State-Notre Dame game.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That's family business. All right? Don't bring up Notre Dame.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
People are going to catch some strays. After all we did for the whole world, the Catholic Church. I know, dude. What did Penn State do? One title in 60 years under Joe Puff?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You get fired for that around Notre Dame, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I think that's mine. What are you doing with it? Let's get mad at coffee.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's too big. So when I was living here, I started to like – not like Penn State, but you know what I mean. I'm like – Yeah, exactly. I know some of the guys that played for him now, and it's like –
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
especially in the south where like the north they can't play football yeah yeah yeah so then you start to be like now penn state's actually not bad yeah and then i went back home for five months surrounded by my friends yeah i fucking hate penn state i fucking hate them i hate them dude
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's the semifinals. So we're down to four. It's going to be Ohio State-Texas on Friday.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
i i mean yeah i i maybe or maybe i just dissociated it makes total sense that's why i spazzed and talk shit on saving like the fake because he was like what do you think about the game and i was like i don't know fucking nick saving cheated it was just a full spaz it was so good though i mean that i get i'd like to explain that because that was so
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You were drunk trying to get into the cemetery.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
The Freedom Trail. Isn't that what it's called? No.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
What's his name? You see that? Sam from Boston. No, he used to do the... Yeah. Sam Huck used to do that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
He used to be a reenactor on that. Yeah. Anyway.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
after i said that we had to go into the stadium to sit at the desk which is where he didn't he wasn't with us when i said it the first time yeah yeah so then i got in there and right before we go on he looks at me and he's like i heard what you said and i was like holy shit and then herb street and mcafee were like he's just breaking your balls dude he loves messing with guys like he's literally just fucking with you and i was like oh all right i'll fuck with him back
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
so dude they have they have oh god they have those dumb plates you can buy that's exactly what this fucking dipshit brought well dude they have you want to hang it in here they have like a bucket and they have they have little day one during his panic attack from moving he thought he was dying he was laying on my couch like i'm dying it's like you're just you're just nervous from the move bro it's okay how many didn't you drink like 10 jake paul drinks on the way down here
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It was a good time. It was New Year's Eve. It was a good time. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yes. Strictly business. Straight from the Cheers bar. You were nothing but serious at this point.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
We can fuck around. So then I would have never done that if I thought he was serious. Yeah. But they told me he was fucking around. So I started fucking with him. And then as soon as we get done, I tell Herb Street and McAfee, I'm like, bro, he was definitely serious. And they were like, no way he was serious. Go talk to him. So I went up to him after news like,
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Who does he think he is touching? Obviously my wife.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
The horniest guys on earth are guys talking to car girls that golf. Those are the horniest guys. There's videos. There's videos. You can find it. There's some good videos online of guys coming up to car girls and like, you understand how beautiful you are, right? Like what you do, you brighten my day. Like cutting her off from getting back in the cart and being like, I love you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
yeah and just just out of like like literally innocent it's the hottest outfit possible yeah it's like tennis skirt and polo i was trying to figure out i was like is this a thing i thought it was just like a one-off and she comes to give you drinks and snacks really while you're already hammered on the golf course and you go see i didn't know that and while your wife is saying where are you you've been gone too long you go bitch i'm on the third fucking hole
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I went to the driving range a couple times. Driving range is sick. With Gerby's. He loves it. It's all Gerby's talks about.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
People might come up and be like, who are you? I'm hiking.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
My daughter was, I'm from Pennsylvania. My daughter went missing. I think she's a car girl.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, you can play. People ask me to go golfing all the time. I'm like, bro, I'll hit a 250. Yeah. You won't believe the number I'll hit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
The back nine, you're blacked out. You get to drive a golf cart around. You go, watch this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
They got to figure out how to hit it under pressure.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You think the SEC dominated because we cheated? That's bullshit. And he spats on me. Weren't you helping him down? So he was still on the stage and I was on the field. So after he yelled at me, I had to help him down. And he looked around to see if anybody else could help him, but I had to help him down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, if I hit a car, I'm obviously leaving and not telling anyone I did that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I was hammered just watching them play ping pong at night. Yeah, that was... It was great. I just sat on the couch, watched you guys try your hardest, diving. Were you surprised about the fucking... It was really good. But then I did... When you went to bed, I said... I'm going to bring in my old workhorse, Chris O'Connor. Get down here. I know O'Connor's going to be good at this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That was my favorite part of the trip, probably. I was talking you and James into going back down and competing again.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, they were like, Matt told me who won. They played three games?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Okay. It was an easy one. Even Hammer did just be like, James, didn't you just say you won the game? He did.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
And then they both are like, no, no. We had to go back upstairs. You guys were itching to play anyway.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I'd see you out there. I'd like to see you at a home run derby. I bet you can hit it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, because it was scary because someone was throwing a fast pitch.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Just kill me. Knock me the fuck out. I'm done with this day already.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You're going to break a fucking collarbone or something. I'm not worried about bones.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That's a nightmare to have it slowly zoom on your face for a full episode. Dude, that was the best.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Bro, it's skate life at this point. That's what I'm talking about. You're a skater boy. You're obviously going to seduce women. I'm not going to. Well. Come on, man. Look, here's what I'm about. If I see a guy on the board, I go, honey, don't look. Honey, close your fucking eyes. Don't look.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Next time I do game day, I'm dressing exactly like him. I'm wearing that hat.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
There's a guy on the pump track going one mile an hour. Don't look.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
How many bails have you been bailing out in Arlie?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Like a little skullcap. Is that Ralph? Is Ralph the bully? No, Ralph Nelson. But Nelson's friend. Nelson's friend is who I was thinking of.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I feel like all the skater girls look like Jimbo Jones and Dolph Starbeam.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You're trying to show off for the little kids. You're Matt Skate Dusky.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I have San Antonio, Dallas, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Vancouver, Seattle, Minneapolis, Tampa, Jacksonville. Be on the lookout. Let me see who's not selling tickets. What the heck's going on here? Whoa. Birmingham, Alabama. I need you. I'll be in Birmingham, Alabama. April 26th. What else you got? Go ahead.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Hey, everybody. Hello. It's me, LaMare. January 16th, I'm going to be at Hilly-Philium. Hilly-Philium. Hilly-Philium. Come to that. That'll be sick. Hilly-Philium. January 19th, the Emmaus Theater. Please come there. Yeah. LaMare, leave that fun.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Goodbye. Thank you. Let's get back to that fun episode. Hey, Sean. No, you decide. Stop rolling your eyes, dude. God. I'm just joshing you, bud. Hot motherfucking day. I mean, it's been so wonderful to be back. It's been nice, man. To see the fellas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
But now they're back. Now the bros are back.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Now you're back. Now you guys run the mothership. Now that I'm back, you guys get to walk around with your chest held a little higher. You go, do you know who my friend is?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You should, dude. Why not? You guys got to do battle with the Kill Tony crew. Yeah, you guys. You have to. We can't do that, dude. Why? You have to battle them. They think they own you guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Don't get me started, dude. I'll do it. You will do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You're going to do it without us even fucking asking. And I'm not defending you. I'm going to side with the Kill Tony crew. The Kill Tony crew of mutants versus guard dog.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You're going to have to take on the mutants.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I have not publicly spazzed. I've independently spazzed. I've privately spazzed. I've privately spazzed a lot.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I think I think I I kind of was right though. Now that the SEC isn't the only conference that can pay players.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
They hate me over there. You know what the beef, this is the beef. I'm going to manifest it. Hans Kim versus Nate Marshall.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I need that beef. That'd be a good beef. That's a good beef.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's going to be such an easy one to start. Just immediately have Nate be like, he didn't say shit, but what if he did? Yeah, it'd be fun to get in there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
No, there's a fucking creature that lives in my house that sprints across the roof, dude. It literally sounds like a man. It sounds like it's two feet. It's just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And it'll stay still for an hour.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's either a raccoon or a possum. I've seen a couple possums around this way. I do like the possums. I've seen them crawl across the fence back there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, it's not. So that's the thing. I think a lot of the coaches can distance themselves from it. Be like, I don't fucking, we didn't pay players. I don't know how all these guys got Dodge Chargers, but I didn't fucking do it. I don't know how everyone on the team has chains and cars.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
No. What, the smell? No, it couldn't be a dead animal on the roof that smells bad for a year.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
He does like to grub. He just wants to grub. He seemingly wants a way out. He just doesn't care, dude. How's his legs? How's his surgery? His leg's good. It went well?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Well, I was, I've been telling, I'm like, but it might be even weirder if you're like, no, honey, your vagina is great.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Dude, I wish Notre Dame was fucking cheating.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Notre Dame vacated wins because a couple players cheated on, like, a summer class. Meanwhile, the SEC was like, we'll give Cam Newton $500 million if he comes to this school. Yeah, true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Free time's pretty sick. Although, too much free time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I just had too much free time. Once we finished filming Tires, and then I was just in Westchester. Nothing to do.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
He hates Notre Dame, dude. Fuck him. What's his problem? I don't know. He dresses like a cat. He literally looks like a cartoon cat.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
An empty house, silent, and then they're like, I'll just go across the street and walk along the creek. That's chill. It was nice. That's chill. But it was also dead silent out there. You walk back in your house, it's a giant, silent, old fucking house from the 1700s. I'm just standing in there like...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
fuck i gotta do stand-up that gets so disorienting we're like what am i the sun goes down at fucking 2 p.m yeah i'm just standing there in the dark a haunted house the house makes noises i'm scared now and it's dark for 10 straight hours it's dark to i'm awake the whole time it's dark it's scary i'm scared for hours it was remote too it was very remote and i was very scared
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That's how you got rid of your Christmas tree?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I wish I was doing crazy. I had a couple fires. I had some fires going. Bro, I'm telling you. I spent most of my time standing outside looking for drones. That was a fun nighttime task. I would go, ooh, there's no clouds tonight. I'm going to go try to find drones. If you got a sighting, that would have been that. I saw several planes that I stood there for 10 minutes watching. That could be.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Are your neighbors out, or is this just you and your family?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
We had our friends over. Dude, the neighbors must be like, what the fuck's this guy doing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You should just expand throughout your neighborhood.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
My sister's running into a big problem with Indian neighbors.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Her whole neighborhood's Indian people. Bruh.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's just wild. Ah, it's not good. Everyone's holding hands, walking outside. Or they hold hands.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
that's the move where it's an indian lady and then the husband's five feet behind her hands behind his back they did get that right that's nice going on a walk with your lady blows stagger it try to hold hands or something it's like i'm walking yeah hey i'm walking here what is three-legged race and then you get like a narrow part of the path and you slow down to let her go first then she slows to instinctively stops yeah you go no yeah this is a single file part of the path
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I hit my lady with one of those recently. I was like, god damn, I've been sitting around.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Nice. Yes, sir. Let's switch over to the Patreon. We'll see you on the Patreon, good friends.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Is Scamalib? Yeah, dude. Scam Noodle. Yeah, I guess you could tell by the fucking outfit. Yeah, bro. Otherwise, it's Scam Noodle.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Just dueling Gordons. Especially if we got in an argument.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
But it was funny. Scam Newton, I was wrong about him, though, in the NFL. I remember having a very intense argument with my college roommates being like, Jimmy Clawson is a professional passer from Notre Dame. Cam Newton, you can't run like that in the NFL, dude. This guy's going to get fucking killed. He dominated his whole career. He was incredible. He's changed the game.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
yeah he was nasty did you see him throw hands at one time yes he's also terrifying so that was kind of nice we're just joking around scam yeah scam i'll stop going scam cam you're the man oh scram no you'd be scram newton scram newton yeah scrambling yeah he there was the man he really like it's wild to be that old and get like into like i mean i would say the bleeding edge of fashion Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
It's crazy. It's also weird to be that big. Yeah, true. You can't be like giant and wearing cool stuff. It looks nuts. It's very erotic to be threatening. You ever see Magic Johnson's son? I just saw a video of him yesterday. He's still going nuts, dude. Yeah. What's that kid's name? I mean, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Yeah, when they zoom in on my face, I was like, fuck, they're definitely going to catch me being a little bitch. Like you say something to me being like, oh, yeah, right. As if. As if, Matt. It's good to be back. It's fantastic. Last time I saw you was Notre Dame.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That would be crazy. No, I was right about that. Did he? Did he attack the UCLA football coach with a kettlebell? What? Yeah. Primal? You think it was a primal on it? It was probably, yeah. It was probably facing a gorilla head.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Damn, his son was pretty good, it looks like. Really? I don't know if he played ever because his dad attacks him with a kettlebell.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Three way. I mean, all facets of the game. You had it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Actually, Saban mentioned he said, who was that guy who kicked that ball?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
True. I do wish my father had held it down like Diddy like that. Yeah, man. Came down to Elon with me the whole year I was riding the bench, just attacked our strength and conditioning coach with a kettlebell. Got his ass beat by our strength and conditioning coach.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Occasionally, he would come watch practice, which was a little weird. Was he quiet, though? He didn't say anything. He just would look over, and you'd see a car in the parking lot. You'd be like, how bored is this fucking guy? No, he probably loves it, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Phil could be your mentor. That would be nice. Phil could mentor you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
I think my mom just had knee surgery today and my dad's not home helping her because he's going to a girls basketball practice. We'll be like, Phil, skip the fucking practice. No way. She just helped him the entire time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
The whole time he was recovering from that. I mean, girls are so good at that. Day two. She got surgery yesterday. Really? And he's already, he's like, I got to go to the practice. Duty calls.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
That was like, so when I was on my way there and I hit up McAfee, because I don't know, I wanted to get the bros on. For sure. And I was like, the only thing I can think of is Matt coming out. If Matt kicks a field goal, he'll do it. You know what I mean? Like anybody else would be like, fuck no. Like, that's, like, scary. Dude, I don't know. When you told me... And Matt just answered.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
K&N, bro. Yeah, I know. Just fucking ketamine.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
You just go down. You just go down. Yeah, that's nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance
Ain't nobody control. I've been watching a YouTube guy that you've probably watched or would enjoy. There's like a Pakistani English guy. I think he's Pakistani. I don't know. For sure. But he goes to America to go to hoods and interview people. Really? In the ghetto. Dude, that's a huge genre right now. So, Brav, when did you decide to jump off the porch?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 536 - The Program (feat. James Fox)
That would have been a real bummer. Oh, that would have sucked. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 536 - The Program (feat. James Fox)
It's Campinas. Can you believe it? Virginia Camp Penis. I know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 536 - The Program (feat. James Fox)
There you go. Either or. Sure.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Every time I... Well, no way it was in a cake room. That was after I got killed. Every time I got killed, I was like, okay. Not every time, but... And then your body would relax. Yeah, yeah. People are going to go away, you know? It was like the death rattle.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
I thought McConaughey would be like shorter. He's like no. He's a big guy. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Dude, that kid was up front, bro. He was having the time of his life.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Yeah, Bloodline. She's Bloodline. She's part of the Bloodline? Yeah, but the one's out for the Bloodline. Does The Rock ever go back to anything like that? Yeah, he's the final boss now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
What's he up to? He's settled out of court. Oh, so he's just chilling out. Yeah, he's just chilling.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Yeah, they continued. They thought he was alive because he stood up and then fell. Oh, he stood up?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
This is a vibe crusher, dude. Ultimate vibe crusher.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Dude, Ray Mysterio killed a guy. Well, he didn't kill a guy. He hit him with a, he started, you know, the 619 where it starts with the toe drop to the rope? He did that to the guy, and the guy, like, flopped dead onto the rope. What? Yeah. How did he die? Like contusions or something. I think he had a heart attack. I don't know. But he died there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Well, yeah. The 619, he does a toe hold where it's like you grab his foot and you flip him to the ground and then his neck. And they're laying like facing out of the ring.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Yeah. Was this recently? Maybe like 2019. That's pretty recent.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
What do you mean? How do you process that? He died the way he wanted, you know? It's like a good way to, I don't know. I don't know if it's like a bad way to go, but like, you know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Triple H breezed by us. He walked behind us real quick. Triple H was there? Yeah. Oh, that would have been cool to see. Isn't he the president? Yeah, he's the boss now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
So who's in charge, The Rock or Triple H? Triple H is in charge of wrestling. The Rock is in charge of TKO, which is a company that owns UFC and WWE. Damn, he owns that? Yeah. Shareholder, shareholder.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Guys would trade accounts like RuneScape. You know, you'd like give a level 100 RuneScape account and then you'd sell it to like another guy. That's probably what he did. He just probably bought a bunch of level 80 accounts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
I just know about mining. Yeah. I tried to build a rig. I couldn't do it. The programming part was too hard for me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Yeah. How far did you get? It was like in 2015. I had like two GPUs ready to go.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
You could have put a program on there, and I couldn't do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
I don't know. That's what I was trying to figure out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
What's a qubit do? A qubit is a measure of quantum power. Yeah, but like, okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Okay, so I watched your video. It was like explaining like I was five. The guy was like, quantum computing is like, so you know how a coin has two sides? Sure. There's an endpoint. Both parts are entry and endpoint. But like quantum computing is like spinning a coin because there's an infinite amount of entries and exits.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Yeah, but like infinite because it's an infinite amount of points.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
Points of data, points of computing, points of processing. So it's not binary code? These are all general fucking words. It's not binary anymore. I don't like these words.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
The prophecy is fulfilled. I did get a lot of tickets. I also stole a lot of tickets. It was a good time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
He's unked up, dude. He was. We were full of burritos, too. We just ate burritos that morning.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 543 - Spyder's Web
I think it was Nate, too. We had the same food.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That'd be fun. Let's just start. Fuck it. Hey. Yeah, I thought it could have been House again.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
All right. I watched season one. It was great. Yeah, it was, man. It was hilarious. It's very interesting, I'll tell you that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Any female witness is nullified, dude. One male witness is equal to like five female witnesses.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, I don't think there was like an alien UFO. That was just a fucking weird government thing to do. I'm gonna be out there tonight. I'm gonna look again.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
There's also a chance it's just a guy. Yeah, just a neighbor. Just having fun with it. It's a big fucking drama.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's what I'm trying to figure out. A lot of tech down here. There's nothing here, bro. It's all tech now. It's tech?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah. This is a lot of tech down there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Pouring his heart out like that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That was a close one. Yeah. I'm usually quick to defend. That one was.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I went to the Notre Dame National Championship.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I was, not through the administration. You're one of the pure ones. AB invited me. I got invited with AB. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was tough to turn down. Wait, AB was there? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Antonio Brown was at the inauguration. With Theo Vaughn and the Paul brothers. I mean, that was a crazy lineup. Dude, it was.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I didn't see him either. He was there. For sure. Yeah. I saw a picture of him and Trump. And he invited me to go with him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, yeah. Trump's behind him kind of fucking laughing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's how we both naturally talk. This is our radio voice right now. We've been code switching this whole time. Whenever we talk, we're like, yeah, I'd like some Chipotle. Could I get chicken bowl with rice? And he says, yeah, no problem, Shane. One day the portions will be bigger. This is some bullshit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Can you do it? Can you do a good MLK?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's like, we know that's not how you talk. What are you doing? It was bad. Who is that guy? Was he a pastor?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, it's the 40s and 50s again. Everybody's going back. Let's just do whatever we were doing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It didn't happen. Huh? Theo came back and said, my bad. Turns out they didn't fuck with the chair.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I don't think, I think he was serious. I have no idea, I didn't talk to him about it. I think he seemed serious. Yeah, yeah. I was ready to ride.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, you can't really tell, but that seemed serious.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's Epstein. No, you're going to keep it changed. Okay. This is bordering on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Unless he sells a fight with them. True. Because he just goes and gets knocked out by the Paul brothers. I was ready to ride against the Paul brothers.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Maybe he sells just getting knocked out in a couple months. That'd be so sick. Yeah. Yeah, falling through a chair out of anywhere is hell. But inauguration, that's... That is funny to think about.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, yeah, I get him confused. They're both box, but the younger brother's the one who just beat the fuck out of Mike Tyson. So unnecessary. So bad. Yeah, that was, like, sad, man. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It has nothing to do with that at all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I think that was Mike. Yeah. I think Mike was doing that. Yeah, no, that's what I said. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It does, yeah. That's actually a decent point. CTE does get kind of spread. He's got a point. Yeah. They got it from somebody who probably had CTE too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I think it's probably just most former NFL guys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, they're wrecked. Real old.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I'm not going to watch it. That kind of ruins the whole fucking thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I know. You had to go to Atlantic city or.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah. It was illegal. Yeah. They just made it legal. And now every single person gambles.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I was mad at LeBron during the national title. Why? Oh, he was Ohio. Yeah, he was in the box. Oh, yeah. I mean, you had to know. Put a crown on his own head. You knew Notre Dame wasn't going to win that. I didn't think Notre Dame was going to win, but. First drive looked good. Great season. You gave a pep talk, though? I did. You did. I'm not supposed to talk.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Well, that might have been the reason right there. That shit didn't happen for you. What happened? No, I just met the boys in the morning, gave them a little...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's incredible. I think I'm not supposed to talk about it. Okay, okay, okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
But no, that was awesome. Yeah, got to meet Marcus Freeman before the game. Phil talked to him. It was nice. That's awesome. Phil made his way all the way back to the title after the week two heart attack. Huge. Beast.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Did you feel all right? I mean, it was... I knew it was... I was like 21-7. I was like, that's game. Yeah. And then... They cut it to one score with like four minutes and then questionable decision to try to kick a field goal for no reason down 16 or whatever. Yeah. But great season. We'll be back for sure. We got to raise some money for the Irish now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I'm going to give them a little. Yeah, that's where all the money's going. That's where all the money's going. I'm going, fuck my family. It's going straight to Notre Dame football.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah. I was looking at the confetti, watching Ohio State score, just sitting there going. I called my agent immediately. I was like, let's book a show and give all the money to Notre Dame. Notre Dame needs a champion. I woke up the next day like, ah, fuck. Fuck, that's a lot of money. Fuck.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Fuck the LA Fires. Notre Dame needs a de-tackle. I need to give that to an 18-year-old. Those dudes are nuts, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's on Monday. Me and Burr are going to do a show out there. Where's it at? Where's the show at? I don't know. In L.A. I forget what it's called. The Wiltern? Yeah. Is that what it is? The Wiltern?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
What I'm doing? It's a fundraiser for the fires for LA.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, what's happening is all those rich people whose house is burnt down, not that I'm like, fuck them, but they are all renting apartments now in LA.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
and the prices are just oh everyone's now because now thousands of rich people yeah just buying came down from the hills yeah just crushing it like landlords are calling people like hey get the out of here that's i got a guy who's gonna pay triple what you're paying and if people don't know the laws they're just like oh my landlord said i had to leave that sucks yeah so what the are y'all talking about man
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, I don't know anything about all that. So they were telling me where shit was burning. I was like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
For sure. No, but I'm doing a fundraiser. What are you doing to help?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's why I brought it up. I wanted to involve myself with you guys. There you go. I mean, anything y'all are doing to portray. No, he was in Atlanta when I was, and I was like, cause I was going over to say what's up to the team before the game. And I was like, it'd be nice to have Drewski with me for the black players. You know what I mean? I walk in, the O-line was hyped to see me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Let's get the White House and DBs fired up. Let's get the wide receivers fired up. Let's get the running backs and wide outs going a little. Here's Drewski. Let's get Drewski.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Linebackers in O-line, we're flying.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I didn't think they'd get as hyped. I was going into it like, no one's gonna give a fuck, this is gonna be awkward. I walked in there like, ah. Sick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I feel like he would have went longer. What do you mean? If it was intentional, I think he would have went longer. That was quick. I didn't get to see how it ended either, though. It was quick. Well, yeah. It was like two minutes. Yeah, but it could have been. He was going hard, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
What do you usually say? The second is like, don't come, don't come. Don't come, I'm right there. You go, oh shit. I wish you would have shot that bitch goddamn.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's just nice. I just like having it around. And also, I think about it a lot. Maybe when I'm having sex, I go, good Lord, if somebody heard me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I was just wondering if the show was about black love or not.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That should be what you walk out to. Just play it for two minutes straight. Oh, that's a good girl.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
In the middle of a good dick beat session, this guy was researching facts about how to come better. You definitely, he stopped watching porn. Now you're jacking off to fucking research. Don't act like you wouldn't jack off to some research.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
He's in the dungeon, man. He's cooking up research on guys being gay in the 50s.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's an insane, insane statistic.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
google i want to know if my brother's brother man dude 30s in the 50s dude that's crazy and that's self-reporting it's good they included the jizz part because otherwise back then everybody would be like i was kind of fucking gay i said good night to a guy when i was leaving a party yeah
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
These are insane numbers. We're just throwing shit out. Hold on, hold on. Here we go. I trust the science with this. Me and my brother were trying to say... Did 37 say yes?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
We'll do a blind study. Everybody, I won't tell on you. Everybody, close your eyes. Raise your hand if you did something gay. Close your eyes. I didn't close my eyes because I'm not fucking gay. I feel like if you participate and close your eyes, I feel like you're a part of it if you close your eyes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, he closed his eyes. You closed your eyes? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I did, but if you participated in any way, that counts. You're part of the percentage.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I might be out. I've been in the room when dudes have jizzed. That's crazy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You go to one kid's house who has a perverted dad. You go, bro, break out the stash. The boys need to party.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, and it's no phone. And it was just on. Yeah, you're just like, fuck, I'm going to jerk off real quick. Yeah, you guys go over there. I'll go in the cell room. Don't look. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
What's up with the train? Yeah, what's going on with the train?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
How did that? Of all questions. Did you miss that train? How did that go? That train might have left the station, but you were right there. You were right there to get on that. That train took off from the station for sure. You were close.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I forgot you actually might have. I've seen pictures with you. Yo, what's the look you gave me?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I've been relieved. Turns out no one was there. Everybody I've asked says, no, I was not there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's like, how do you know? Wasn't Denzel saying that? Yeah. Denzel was like, no, I got out of there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Denzel, yeah, that would fuck you up. You're on Ecstasy at a Diddy party. Fuck. Denzel Washington comes up and whispers a quote. Training days, you? Training days, you? Oh, shit. These guys are sick, man. Seriously.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I just pick between two to six players, two of the hottest guys, across any sport, whoever I think is the hottest, and pick more or less on each of their projections. Then submit my lineup. That's it. And I could win up to a thousand times my money all in just 60 seconds or less. Just like that. I'm able to get back to eating my wings and drinking an ice cold bucket of Bud Lights with the buddies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
These motherfuckers. Because you know me, huge sports guy, huge beer guy, even bigger prize picks guy. Bigger?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Prize picks? You know I love my brewskis. Don't you dare get in between me and my brewskis and my wings. Join me in the fun. Combine up to six packs. Oh, my God.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Sorry, I mean combine up to six picks. Jesus Christ, guys. I'm going to change my life. This is an ad or this is a prize picks intervention. I know. I'm deeply sorry for how I've...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
What a cool story you just told us. What a cool story you told us, man. You the man, bro. Make sure you edit that out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's neither here nor there. That's fun. I know nothing about that. Scooping balls is fun. That's guys having fun. I agree. Diddy might have liked horseplay. And sometimes people take that the wrong way.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
girl this probably isn't good yeah no yeah now we're back we had to scratch all this no it's fun stuff huh no it's good it's fun so we definitely think this is fun stuff it's fun stuff you'll be all right there are serious allegations against him but yeah i would never yeah he's he's a innocent till proven guilty in my book so we'll see what happens
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You're being a little sweetie on the show.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You're being a sweetheart. Yeah, what's the difference?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a completely different topic. All right, so it's you and a ton of women in the house. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's pretty sick, actually. You kiss?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You going every episode at once?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
This episode will get taken down, but we could just air this part. Just certain parts. We could have like a three minute podcast of us going, when's it out? Great. That's a three minute five. Are you going to do it like all the episodes at once or are you going to do it weekly?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That happens. What's next? What's next on the duck?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, for real. He has like a mustache and a crew cut and a helmet and glasses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People didn't know it was him. Nah, that's dope, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I think you've done a good job. I don't think you've said anything wrong. Matt, on the other hand, you have some explaining to do.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Good shifting, though. Good shifting. I thought my drone show was going to be a topic for a while. No one gives a fuck.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I got to see it. I was so excited.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
They do have different smells. I'm glad you said different instead of bad. It's not all the same. Yeah. Although this particular house does smell bad. Do y'all have dogs? Y'all got dogs? No dogs. That's just whites.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
How many people have y'all had on the podcast? Not that many.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, it's kind of fucked up. And I keep trying to get it fixed, and for some reason, plumbers don't believe me. I go, bro, I swear to God, the house smells like shit. And then it never smells.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't at all. You did. You said you didn't know white people smell like dogs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
God. Damn. How long were you guys in there for? Hopefully forever.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
So you're doing the, this is the white part of your press tour and you're going to come in and say we stink like dogs?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Does your mic smell like a wet dog? I can't smell it. Mine doesn't smell like it. That's why I smell it. Fox can't smell his own hole. Smell his. Smell his. Let's trade. Oh, yeah, this one does smell a little.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
A full week we were in there. A lot of Muslims have killed themselves for that exact scenario. Are you really? Yeah, it's 72, but yes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
The what? Oh, the blue one's supposed to be for the... Oh, you got the butt mic. We record farts on this podcast and we fart into... If somebody has to fart... He's kidding, he's kidding. I would never do that to you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That would be real. Don't give him the butt mic. You would have every reason to be very, very upset. That would be so disrespectful.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, it is. It's pretty fucking funny. I just watched the one where the kid was like, my dad's the president of the NAACP.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
He's like, well, that's not true. Your dad lied to you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
And then he was just like, all right, I'm done with that. And then here comes a tragic story. Yeah, there's more trauma.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That's what he did. That was like for real, the guy's audition.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
He was the man. Yeah, yeah. You could tell he was a good guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Are there any little people on the show this year?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
They're running around. Ha! Yeah, they're around. Yeah, they're around. I've never seen more midgets than when I put on anything with you. There's always a midget.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Honestly, that's not far off, yeah. Yeah, I swear to God. I was in a museum, and they would just paint them. Yeah. Yeah, because courts, like a royal court would hire you to paint.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Paint them. Paint the midgets. Yeah, but imagine you're a barber.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I bet, dude. They're strong as shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, of course. I think that's what's so nice about it is you treat them like regular people. You make fun of them, it's great.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I get it. Trust me, I get it. I don't know who you're lying to right now. I've watched the show. I've watched the fuck out of the show. Every time you say something, I go, God.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Now, do you get them an Uber home or do you fire them out of a giant cannon?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, hell no. You cannot let that happen.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I'm like, did we fuck up yet? No, you support the studs. Yeah, nah. No, that is pretty. By the way, fuck you. I watch your stuff.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
That'd be dope, yeah. That'd be dope, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I think we've done it. Yeah, damn right.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Dude, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks a lot, man. And honestly, if you guys think of anything that you want edited out, we will.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
We watch the auditions here. We usually, before we film or after, we're fans. We toss on the auditions. Yeah, so what is the show again?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I definitely was going to have a talk with y'all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
For sure. Yeah, yeah. That would be awesome, man. Yeah. What happened to La Mer?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
He got disabled. He's headed back to his.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, LeMary used to live here. Who? He just moved out. The guy that just went back to his office. Back to the beach laboratory, dude. That's where he used to.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, we just had to clear it out. He was jacking off back there. I was in Philly for the last five, six months.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
He made it his gaming room. And then lied to me about jacking off in there. He said he didn't jack off. He said once. Just once, dude. That's like when a cat pees in the basement. It's going to pee again. He cracked a seal on that room. There's no way you were getting hard in there and walking back in there. You're not walking outside.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You'd probably swim across the pool.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Why here? They don't have comedy clubs. Like here. Here you can do comedy every night of the week. Okay, okay. Versus like Tennessee and Florida. Yeah, Tennessee. Nashville could get it. They could have that. Why don't you open your own? I don't know. Maybe. But I don't know. I'm not going to build a comedy club. Somebody else.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I think I will. Nice crib. Thank you. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, this is all I need. I'm never here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You're not wearing that type of bullshit. Fucking holes in my sweatpants.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You guys are going to be wearing Kahurus in about 10 years. Yeah, but I'm saying...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It's like $500 a week. That's good, though, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, I should wear nicer clothes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
A lot of times, yeah. But you're not just doing it on leisure. Yeah, it's usually with the gig, with the show, that's in the contract.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah. Okay, so you like doing it? I do like doing it. All right, so yours is kind of like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Getting to and from the show. Yeah. That's it. That's it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Not anymore. Those days are gone. That was your thing? No, I never really did that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Drewski, are you going to shut the fuck up right now?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Nah. Yeah, yeah. Naked girls dancing? No. I hate it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You want to know something wild? Yeah. I saw a fucking drone last night.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
You hear about the drones? Yeah. No, I haven't heard about it. You didn't hear about the drones in New Jersey? No. That's crazy. You're just hearing about this?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
where did y'all where was that right here i saw it outside there was a drone like a real big fucking huge drone for like an hour it was flying and they would come around it was doing the same lap over and over you might have actually been there might have been someone just watching you just like oh it was a it was a real big fucking drone and it was far like it was high do you feel like um do you believe in all the alien shit
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, I just don't think anyone knows what the drones are. I mean, if you've never heard of this story, I probably sound like a fucking maniac. No, I've heard of drones, like the fucking camera drone thing. Yeah, but there's drones right now that people, no one knows what they are. And the government won't tell us what they are. What? And they're like SUV-sized drones.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, it kind of looks almost like a plane, but it's got lights everywhere. I'll show you. Damn, it's tricked out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I mean, it's not that exciting, but there it is last night. It's far away. You got raw footage? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, it's not. I knew this was going to happen.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I was afraid to tell you guys. I'm literally looking at it. This is a plane with red lights on. This might have been an emergency plane. Trust me, daddy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
It was literally just doing circles for as long as I was out there. What the fuck? You'd see it every like 20 minutes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
No, people are... Senators are literally asking the government to tell us what it is and they won't.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Filming it never does it justice. I saw it live. Why does nobody have good HD footage of shit? I don't know. I tried to film it, and it just got blurry.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Yeah, my girlfriend was making fun of me for being old because I couldn't film it. That's good UFO footage. You fucking film it. I can't film it. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
Just the conventional healthy way. Yeah, like the newfound fame. You know what I mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 542 - Indulgences (feat. Druski)
I wish, oh, O'Connor was there. He can vouch for me. For the UAP? I can't have girl vouch. Yeah. You know what I mean? For what? To see a UFO, you can't have a woman be like, yeah, we saw it. No one's going to trust her. Because they believe everything? No one's going to believe the woman, but I do have, O'Connor was there too. You can't have a female. You need two male witnesses.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Damn, would you get in trouble if you smacked your wife's cheeks? Oh, it was on her.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Really? Yeah. Oh, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
So you're dancing around the campfire to the violin music, and you're grabbing your wife's tush, and the entire village just turns on you and shreds you. They rip you apart. They would just be kind of like very, very lowbrow. You guys should be just there. Keep an eye on his crops.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
If that's what he's getting up to around here, who knows what's going on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
What are you doing, Matt? Don't get me high and do this conversationally.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're spitting me out because I recently, I got into like a high tailspin about not knowing anything about math. Welcome to my world. I don't know. Really? Now I'm fixated on learning something about it. I think I'm going to start with geometry. I started with an introduction to geometry video on YouTube.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It was a shaky start. Really?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm not looking for algebra. You're good at algebra.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I started this geometry video and I figured, here's what I was thinking. I'm going to click on this. They're going to go, Hey, welcome back to learning math as an adult. Yeah. I thought they were going to give me like maybe circle and square. They're going to go, all right, you know, circle and square. Let's start with like maybe the Pentagon, maybe trapezoid, maybe that kind of shape, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They started with lines. I was like, Oh, I forgot all about lines. I forgot all about not shapes at all. I forgot about rays and segments.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And so, yeah, I'm really worried I'm going to fail this YouTube and math test.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm going to cram the night before. Stay up all night. What's the test? I haven't found the test yet. I have to take some sort of metric. Yeah, you got to take the test. I told Mary Jo about it, so she'll hold me to it. She's going to make sure I get math.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
How long would you get grounded if you were to say something like, I don't know, ain't this about a bitch?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Really? Yeah. Why? I thought you were the math guy, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's the whole summer indoors.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I think it's real. I don't know. I think the universe is just doing its thing, and we're putting graph paper on it and tracing it, and we look like fucking idiots.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
But is the universe structured around that or is it something that we use because it's as close to as accurate as possible? to contextualize the universe around us. This is where quantum physics is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Not that it makes a fucking difference for me, man. I don't even know what I'm saying.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm indifferent to it. I'd be okay with it, I guess. You want to randomly create a universe? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I would love a loving creator. That's great. So you can't be indifferent. But even he could have like, this could be a Minecraft world for him where it's just like a different seed generator. You know what I mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's the fun of the story. We probably were never supposed to worry about it. He's probably just like, why are they fucking monkeying around in the server room? Just fucking eat apples, dude. There's apples on trees.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Why are you doing that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Is that a desirable outcome?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm still eating English muffins with butter and jelly and being very happy about it. That is nice. Careful, though. What's your guys' AC1? Do you have diabetes?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Honestly, I don't even believe in diabetes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I guess it leads to like every it fucking destroys you. I guess I just feel like if you're a person that gets diabetes, then it's like you're already fucking everything else up anyway.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. You know?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Right. The arbitrary constraints that create great art, you know?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's why we need European soda and candy. That's what we need. They're not getting diabetes like we are. That's true. They're ruining our snacks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, yeah. You're a big junk food guy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I like it. I need to be controlled. I need my portions picked for me. 38% of people are pre-diabetic.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
How much cereal at night were you eating? Not a lot.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, yeah. CEO. Do you think it was him? I guess it was him, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't know. I'm worried about the eyebrows in the surveillance photo and the mugshot. I did see that. I don't know if those match up. That's why I'm holding off on having any kind of emotional reaction to it because I want to know if this is the real guy or not. If it's really him and they caught him, that's an interesting outcome. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
if the whole story is straight and they didn't make up a manifesto and plan it on them.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He only disappeared for a few months after getting into psychedelics, I guess. I'm basing this all just, like, tweets about him. For sure. That's all any of us have.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, I saw that too. Did you see that? I saw that. It looks like it's written by a lady.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I thought that was like a Tristan Tate tweet.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Every time I like, I always shrug that stuff off. That's crazy because that might be the moments where I feel most respected.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Tristan Tate would tell you you're a fool right in your face. You're a fucking fool, dude. He's got a lot of money. I defer to you, man. You've got definitely something figured out. I don't know. He might go to jail for sex trafficking. That's the game you play, though. Trill. You got to put your money down if you want to get in. Yeah, either get a wife or sex traffic. That's the move.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
What percentage of consensual sex do you think is trick?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He paints a big tunnel on the wall and she runs into it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I was a bus safety. I think I was a bus safety. Sidney was tactically running with both arms behind his back. How big was your school bag at the time? Naruto blasted through it. You're a giant school bag kid running off the back of the bus. Damn. Isn't that like the opening scene of a Goofy movie? Isn't that what the son does? Does he skateboard off the back of a school bus?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's your property, sir. I think they made some progress on that during the interview.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's the universe. I've been seeing a healthy number of like, am I the asshole on Reddit? Or it's like, I accused my husband of sexual assault because he took me when I was blacked out or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
No, not at all. You don't like their behavior?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's ridiculous. You know what really sets me off is if I'm banging into something really loud, like I'll hit my head on a ceiling fan or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I have some low ceiling fans. That was a bad example. But I'll bonk, right? And then I get a really sick feeling in my stomach because I know she's going to, without coming to me, she's going to go, are you okay? And that makes me madder than anything else in my marriage. And so now the joke around the house is if I stub my toe or something, everyone takes a deep breath and goes, I'm fucking fine!
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's the worst. Are you okay? Shut the fuck up. My shit is throbbing right now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I have very poor vision, an enormous head, and slightly above average height. It's a recipe for disaster.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Am I okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, I don't know if I ever used Neosporin before my wife started healing me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Hey, it's good to see you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
The Goofy Goon Squad? I don't like those guys. They make you uncomfortable. They make me slightly uncomfortable. Goofy's, he's too about the bullshit. He's all about the bullshit. You're too structured.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Please, how do you play? Because I'm looking forward to the Pygmus spectacular.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He's going to let some fucking white boy fuck up his Christmas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You can't handle Goofy. I can't handle Goofy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, Chiefs-Steelers. I'm excited about that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You know what, Matt? I don't know. I was going to say that. That was going to be my pick as well.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
But it is Christmas. The boy might have to put on a show for us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Although they haven't been able to protect him very well, and hopefully a healthy T.J. Watt gets home. I'm going to go less. You're going to go less? Patrick Mahomes passing yards. How about – 239. Do they have – what's his name's – Travis Kelsey's numbers?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Less on my homes. I don't know. I'm going to have to see what the number is because I couldn't even guess. I would imagine Christmas and T.D. Swift's going to be there and he's going to want to put it, you know, he's going to put it on a show for his baby.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
so yeah I think that's a good I do value this conversation I think it's a good idea and you can combine up to six points shut up dude you can combine up to six picks dude this is the thing I really wanted to sit you down and talk to you about we're taking apart the podium when I'm getting back it'll never die dude it'll just move and go I'll get in there you gotta get the headset on dude dude
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And they're just giving everyone $50. Yeah, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
What episode is this going in?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Little stony dads?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. So, yeah, we're going to toss it in. We can probably just keep it rolling.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
What are you doing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, yeah, you just got your glands sucked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I got my... But is it a guy or a girl?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You wouldn't care if it was a guy?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's good. Ren and Stimpy, I think, is spaz energy that you don't need. I didn't do it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And then I pop up and I'm like, you threw a thousand in an hour and an hour. Can you rip a thousand in an hour?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Your parents were like, this is too white, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's better if you're not prepared. It's significantly better if you end up getting like 48 push-ups in an hour.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It is very funny. So you're thinking like a Ben Shapiro owning kids. No, it's you doing pushups.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're going to want to find some topics. Yeah. You think so? Cause if it's just fucking Q and a, they're going to be like, how do you come up with your material? Although that's funny.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
coming back dude there's there's some babies dude i'm coming back the babies are falling i think the babies are falling off yeah the babies there's still there's a couple babies i got on twitter and a guy who's he was being a baby don't go on x dude i was i i get depressed every time i go on like instantly instant depression every time i go on yeah it's i go on x and i've been trying to find out about the drones and there's nothing you can't find out anything
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, I watched a bunch of Muslims guys stone a guy to death.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't like that. I don't like that. Babes have found their way back into my algorithm. I don't know what happened. Babes are back? Babes are back on the menu, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You know what I mean? Sometimes there's things that can do that. You know, true. This is true. Nobody can work my spot like a fucking Indian guy on the internet.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Speaking of dizzying aromas, I got I got it's easy to be, you know, xenophobic when you get in an Uber and it smells. Yeah, but I can fight through that. I'm like, all right, whatever. It smells weird. That's fine. I got a fat Uber. The stink, dude. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's just a fat one. Did they complain or were they silent? No. I was so close to complaining. It was a battle of fats complaining. I got in the backseat just... I didn't say anything, but I was close to putting the window down, which would have been, I feel like, too mean. Yeah. 20 degrees outside.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That was probably the most powerful I felt as a child. When they were doing extreme Ren and Stimpy close-up, I was like, I'm tapped into the source. I know what's up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
A fat complaining spaz. They are quick to hit the complain button.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. And then driving, driving Uber is tough. And then, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. So you're just kind of, but anyway, God smelled the fat smell destroys American fat smell. We got to stop complaining about Indian smelling.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They have nothing on our American fats.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, so bad.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. Anyway, what else is going on?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
How'd it go?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And I was like, hold up, bro. What the fuck? It's my Peñas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
The truth is out there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't want to protest close-ups. I want everyone to look very shiny. My mom's going to get furious if she sees that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Wow, what did Lemaire do?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Is it on air? Is it on YouTube, I mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
for like you know that is like you're on that show which is dudes it's just guys getting like just beaten down yeah it kind of wears on that guy got fucking queer on yeah dude he got he fully got queer i don't kill tony you'd look so much better like this
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, turn on Hang of Mr. Cooper now. Oh, man. I think my entire highlight reel of like childhood joy was just like a veiny face with bulging eyeballs and like a sound effect. I was like, that's all that ran through my head, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
But Lemesie was holding it down. He did good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Good. Yeah, it's pretty sick. He better hurry up because he's got to move out and not get home.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, it's coming. It's coming soon. I got to do a bar crawl. Billy Brook is like, what did you say?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Bar crawl is going to be sick. I'm a little jealous.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm here by myself in this haunted fucking house. You're by here lonesome. Yeah, my lady went home for a couple of days. I'm just here in this fucking spooky ass house, dude. Yikes. I'm afraid the entire time I'm here. Yeah, dude, I was scared the whole time. I'm so scared the entire time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I was fucked up until you're like, it's an old house. I look outside. There's the front porch is right here. So you can just walk. Somebody walks. I think I see people the entire time. I'm looking out my window. Dude, you might have a six cents. The only cure is brewskis. I know. The only cure is a couple brewskis. I'm like, fucking ghosts aren't real. Fuck ghosts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's so scary.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
By itself, it gets very spooky.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm going to call Blizz. I'm going to have Blizz sleep over again.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He's like... He doesn't even wake up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
and the laundry the laundry's in the basement in the fucking dude forget it original basement it's so scary just forget it dude i don't have a basement in my house now is they don't have a lot of i guess in austin they don't dig down for basically i don't have basements
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, I took a shower last night. I was terrified the entire time. Thought I heard stuff like six different times. Thought I heard something. Dude, I'll just be sitting here playing Xbox and pause the game and go. All right. Go back to playing. I got to get back to Austin. I'm ready.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's fine with me. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
At the driving range with Gerbys and O'Connor today.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Had some golf balls. It was nice. That is nice. Gerbys is a golfer. It's very fun.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, he's good. He is bagger man. He was helping Chris. Was he really? Yeah, Chris is just naturally good at it. Chris is dumbass and like TJ Maxx and bought like a golf outfit to go to the driving range.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He's wearing a fucking glove.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He bought a golf glove. He's got glove money now, dude. It's crazy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Season two money came in.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Glove, pops collar, fucking fleece. I was wearing this. I was wearing an Eagles hoodie and sweatpants.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, it's not hard. It's not hard to get him in there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And Durbin's fucking country clubs right across from like a horse... like an equestrian fucking thing. So there's horses outside and it was very white. It was a very white thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. Watching Kirby's be actually good at golf. Piss me off, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Move, peasant. I like to make fun of those country clubs, the poor country club. He's like, do you want to go to my course or the other course? I'm like, I would never go to your course, dude. It's for poor people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
it's so yeah but it's so funny to tell someone they belong to a poor country club so bad it's like oh that one has kind of a poor country club yeah it's a poor people country club he's like it's the only one that let jews in for a while oh that's so that's great yeah it's yeah man well fuck yeah dude Yeah, I'm excited. I'm truly excited to get back down there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Like, we finished... Yesterday was the first day without doing tires. And it was like... Killed. Yeah, I just woke up. I jacked off. My girlfriend wasn't here. Just jacked off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I haven't been able to treat myself in so long. I'm so fucking sick, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That'll be awesome. I'm excited.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
We have a good squad going.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Okay, sick. I might already be over there. Sick. Yeah, I'm excited about it. I can't wait. Notre Dame better not fucking lose to Indiana, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It is going to be really cool. And then the problem is if they win, that means, I mean, I got to go to the Sugar Bowl, dude. You'd have to. If they win, I got to head down to New Orleans to watch them take on the Bulldogs.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Georgia Bulldogs? Yeah. If they win, you might be good luck. You might be spending New Year's Day in NOLA.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You pieces of shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, I'm super excited to get back to work with you in a professional manner.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, put out – well, I don't know. Second edition.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Back then might not be – they might not hold up. True, true, true, true, true. No, I'm glad to hear Lemaire's doing well. Gardini's in a diaper. Nate's doing well. Yep. Everybody's doing good. Yeah, Gardini's – his hiney's messed up, but I think he'll get through it, so. It's good he took care of it. I would have ignored whatever that problem was. Dude. He got a cyst on his ass?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Lemaire's burst into fucking urgent care, and he said it smelled.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
All right, bro. I'll see you, bro. Thank you, PrizePix. PrizePix, thank you. Later, bro. Goodbye. Let's get back to stoner dance.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, he was wrong.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Fuck. Damn. I wonder if the hot shooter was trying ice, and that's why his back wasn't getting better. He was slowing down his platelets and had to shoot a guy about it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You think he was also wheeling against traffic the whole way?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Giant speaker in the basket.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's cool knowledge. What do you need? You probably need, like, a Flipper Zero or something for that. I want a Flipper Zero so bad. What is that? It's, like, a little hacking device. You want a Flipper Zero?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, man, it's a little, like, hacking device, and it, like, it can connect to, like, Bluetooth and, like, Wi-Fi and, like, a bunch of other, like, near-field protocols and shit, and you can, like, reprogram. You can, like, take a hotel key and, like, duplicate it. What? Is that how people break into cars?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It has a physical key thing where you lay a physical key over it and then you can match up the notches on the little interface on the device and then take that and get a key printed to replicate. Yeah, dude, I want to commit some felonies. That'd be cool. I want to do some high-level crimes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, that would be great. Number one, traveling with your boys. Be so tight. And really fucking with them. It's petty theft. Yeah, dude, you could go crazy. Oh, my God. Imagine pulling off a kidnapping prank on your boy in a hotel. That would be so sick. Or just an ultimate scare prank. Would you go supernatural? Jump on him. In bed, while they're asleep. I'll jump on him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Jump on your friends screaming at the top of his lungs in pitch black.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, I think bums used to, like, World War Z people and just throw their bodies at an obstacle.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's probably in your book. A bum Russian. It started in the 1920s.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I think that was all travel. It was just, like, eventually you were outside of anyone paying attention and you had to worry about the highwaymen. Exactly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. What about what about the subway choking guy? What do you think of that case? The subway choking guy got.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, that's the best verbiage, brother. I mean, bold words as the movie theater industry dies around. Yeah, we need to do something about it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I think he got on the train. He said, I'm ready. Everyone's been on the public transportation with a guy that says, I'm ready to die today. And I think he made the threats to everybody. He identified himself as an immediate threat. Damn. And then the Giga Chad jumped on his back and held him. I don't know if he ever actually choked him out. I think he just held him there for a long time. What?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I mean, right after it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Well, depending on who you ask on Twitter, it was either a combination of drugs and hard living, or it was the guy strangleholding him for six minutes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He had the rear naked choke. Not fully sunk. Dude, here's my thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, some of them go that way.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Did you see the detail that when, I guess, the cops or the EMTs got there, he was still alive, but they didn't want to do CPR because he was yucky. What? Yeah. Yeah, the EMT showed up and got the ick, and they were kind of just like, you know. Hang out here. Let's just bang on his chest a little bit. My thing is all right. Wake up. Come on, man. Wake up. Come on. It's okay. You're okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I think it was like, I need resources and I'm ready to kill and die for them, essentially. I'm paraphrasing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It was like, I'm starving and I need money and I'll do anything for it and I'm ready to die and I'm ready to kill or something like that. Okay. That was his terms.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're saying he was stopping Asian hate and he's a hero.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I am willing to die over resources. You know what's going to be crazy, though, is that he's going to get a, like, influencer boxing offer.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
He's going to get, like, $10 million to box, like, a canceled, like, kick streamer. You think so? Like PewDiePie or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Luigi. That's the most suspicious. There's no way there's a guy, a 30-year-old guy named Luigi.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You don't think?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I think he was probably responsible for or again, I'm just reading tweets. I think he was responsible for like an automated claim denial system that really started racking up the screws to people. Yeah, that's terrible. And then there was also I think I don't I don't sympathize.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're going to be forcing people in the corner offices, and they're going to be, like, grabbing onto the walls. No one's going to want to be a CEO. Take the fucking stock option.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's like the hacker that gets hired by the FBI. It's like, we like what you got. You're just sitting in a corner office with a gun every day waiting for your match.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
But these are also the pull yourselves up by the bootstraps people. Like, lacking is your responsibility.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Don't let me catch you lacking.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
A new Fortnite battle pass drops that day, so I'm going to give myself 24 hours with that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
How long was this lockdown? Like three days?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Don't worry. You're sharpening the metal edge on your ruler.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's a heavily reported thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's like the main driver of pharmaceutical advertising sales. They kind of are hoping for one. It could be a closed loop system.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Probably a lot of overlap in the pool. You know, the path of the school shooter and the path of the... early droon you know what i mean the young uh
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm talking about my blackness. My family wouldn't let me. Are you saying Sidney's leaving blackness on the table? I think so.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. They had My Little Pony for a while. That was an option. Can we cure that part of autism? There's got to be a way. You just give them enough Sonic the Hedgehog that they don't hurt anybody. We've got to drop the new Sonic.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
There's like a pretty, I don't know what the percentage of the population is, but there's kids, but there's no more compelling thought than Sonic the Hedgehog being pregnant. Holy shit. Their eyes will just glass over for like significant chunks of the day. They're just like, what if Tails got Sonic pregnant? That would be pretty cool. Yeah, I guess I could doodle that. Sonic's a boy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I know, that's what makes it so interesting.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Next is going to be our brains, by the way. Could be. If Neuralink takes off or whatever competes with Neuralink, we're going to forget about dicks and pussies for a while and be like, what do we do with our brains? Be big on our brains. Actually, the dick and pussy are just going to be getting in the way of having direct access to the chemicals in your brain.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's going to be crazy. Giving over your entire nervous system to the cloud just so you could have access to Wikipedia in your mind.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Don't sell yourself short.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Are you talking about, like, reverse cowgirl?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's Nirvana for ultimate pussy guys. You reach the final and you go, it was gay the whole time. Yeah, it was just all gay. You transcend body and soul.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
We got a 69.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. Maybe he was waiting for someone to say no. I think a lot of these people, he pressured them to go along with it, but I don't think any of them were just like, I'm not really into it, man. Like full stop? Yeah, I think he was thinking eventually someone was going to say.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, like Asian languages. They had what, 10,000 years of spoken language to figure it out, and they forgot the? They forgot the and forks?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I like that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I was like, damn. It's a very high thought to see if in your mind you could define the word the. That's what I'm saying, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's actually knows violence against men.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's crazy. 70s even.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
An hour and a half.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Did you? No. I just have a bunch of dumb shit I've been scrolling past in my head.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Well, I'd like to hear it at least. Did you hear about the teacher that all the kids would be in bed and she said no one can go to the bathroom anymore and all the kids pissed themselves and she got fired? What? Yeah. No? Yeah. I think all the kids were like your girl's age. How bad? What? Like little, little kids? Yeah, it was like that. I told you guys. I told you guys to calm down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, that would be totally improper.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And now no one can go to the bathroom. And now all the kids piss their pants and the teacher got fired. Yeah, of course, dude. A whole class pissing themselves is crazy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, that would suck to be the first piss. Dude, you're all tapping your feet on the floor, not trying to be the first pisser.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I know a kid in second grade that pissed his pants in school and he had to change schools.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
She made a documentary. Yeah, did you see her cry? Yeah, tears welling up in her eyes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
100 cums? Yeah. The entire village had to split that in a year.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Now, everything smelled back then.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They might not even notice 100 combs. True. It might not have. The tannery on the edge of the village fucking reeks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, but I mean, probably you had to get through the winter. Yeah. You had to ingest a little bit of it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Big time. Do you think they called each other gay back then or is that off limits?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Bro, you're making some pretty serious accusations right now. Yeah. I'm actually going to run this pitchfork through your body if you say that again. I don't know what you're doing with your voice and smiling right now. They didn't know laughing at all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Were they, like, crying for, like, the same tears that you get for winning the championship? No, she was being very brave. She was trying to, like, be very powerful and brave and just be like, yeah. And it's just, you know, it's just like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
The crops weren't stable enough to ponder gay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You ever watch like the YouTube guys that run laundromats? They make that look pretty attractive.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
no how that how what do they do with that they just go they go around they collect all their quarters and shit they go here's how much money i made and they count a bunch of money and they go all right man thanks for checking out the video see you guys next time yeah they break down like the economics of having a laundromat and all their locations are vending machine guys watch those what's the numbers what are they how much are you pulling in from the laundromat uh i don't know like i think i've seen people where they were like i made three thousand dollars this month that's passive income you know what i mean but then i think they probably do better from being a content creator
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's like Scrooge McDuck. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That would be a great sound to have in the background. Did you ever hit the penny arcade? Or like the coin star? The coin star? Yeah. I lived on the coin star for a stretch there. That shit rules, dude. Yeah, you ever get $40 from a coin star and be like, oh, thank God. Yeah, it's awesome.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
There's no better feeling. When that receipt prints out and your checking account is overdrawn, that's like, that is, it's Indiana Jones grabbing the hat under the door. Good news. I can get home from work today.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
OK, yeah, I remember that. That was and then you could guess you could guess your total. I want a lollipop one time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's my day. I might have counted it beforehand, too. I might have cheated. Can you edit that out? Don't let them know that I cheated. That puts me in a really negative light.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
As long as you know in your heart that you didn't count every single one.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Well done, man. You know, hats off to you, man. You won fair and square.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Got to put you in the elevator.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Ooh. This is green.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You have to get in someone's face about that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's not working on this shit. The stop sign because it's not scanning and you're running it again and again. Exactly, dude. I'm going, are you taking my points right now? Excuse me, I'm trying to play Fruit Ninja. I spent $200 on Fruit Ninja and it's not working.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And it's not working. Nothing worse than a fucked up air hockey table. That'll make me... That's depressing. Do you guys care about anything? Yeah. Half the thing's not even blowing air.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Bro, a dead spot in the air hockey table. It's fucked up. Some fucking bullshit, dude. No one cares about anything anymore, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I saw her saying in the Twitter clip that some of the guys were like, she was cutting them off after like two minutes. And he's like, it said five in the DM. And she was just like, yeah, come on, you got to go. Come on, get out of here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. Did you ever see a phone store guy that they tried to rob and he stabbed one of the kids to death?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. Okay, everyone else has seen it. These two kids come into a phone store or something, and they try to jump over the counter and grab all the shit, and the guy running the place pulls out a knife and grabs one of the kids, and the other kid runs, and he just starts stabbing him. And the kid just bleeds out on the floor, and he's going... I'm dead. I'm dead. You ever seen that video?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't know. I've seen videos like that. It's pretty funny. I saw, I haven't seen a stabbing video. I didn't know it was a phone. Yeah. Or something like that. He died though. Yeah, he definitely died. Yeah, he died. Yeah. And the cashier posted the video himself. Like, you know, they tried it. They found out what was up. Did he get in trouble? I think they tried.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't know if he was convicted or anything like that. I mean, did he have that thing? Did he have that thing on him?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You ever see Indian guys defend a 7-Eleven? That's cool. Yeah. That's really nice. There's a really good one where a guy comes up behind the counter, and they just start hitting him with, like, brooms and shit. They're not really doing any damage, but, like, they're definitely getting some Indian aggression out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, true. Bitch bastard.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I stay in I mode.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You shouldn't be having a reaction to it. It's almost like abstract information. It's so far from you. There's almost no way it can impact you. It's none of my business. It's a huge mistake to constantly just be seeing stuff and be like, you know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Please get a PS5, man. Just get a PS5 and shut the fuck up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, it's half people being tricked by the dead internet and the other half is bots, you know? What is the dead internet? I've never really had that explained to me. Was I talking to you or Swim about it? Swim. I think I was talking to Tom about it. It's that internet theory is that like almost everything you see online is not real. It's not real people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
And then when you see real people engaging with it, you kind of look at them and be like, you're being tricked. Do either of you guys go on Facebook still?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm mostly on Facebook Marketplace.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Take my lesson.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, the coin.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't think she had any idea what was happening. I think right now, I don't think she's learned a single thing about it. Yeah. She was rug pulled as well? There could have been dudes. No, she benefited from it. Yeah, she probably made money. But there's probably dudes who are like, we're going to set all this up for you. Or it's like... They're doing it to, like, MMA fighters.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's like a roving horde of, like, tech wiggers in California. Why? What's the draw? To be like, this is a unique coin. It's going to rise. It's like a penny stock, basically. Yeah, they go, look, there's no better way to capitalize on all the recognition that you're getting. It's never been a hotter time for you. What we can do, we're going to build a community.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It's going to be like a financially independent community around your identity. And you can't lose. You know what I mean? And then, like, the first day, the... price shoots up, they rug pull, and then the celebrity is standing there like, what the heck? Thank you for the $15 million, but everyone's really mad at me. Everyone's pissed.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They're the best of people who are like, I lost my life savings in the Hockatoo.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They talked to like a POG advisor, and he's like, look. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Well, did you see, like, a 10-year-old did a meme coin, and he got, like, $30,000. I was like, gotcha! Like, cashed out. Now I think he might be in big trouble. But then I think they boosted that so, like, he could have made, like, $12 million if he didn't, like, rug pull in the first, you know, hour or so. I mean, how can you blame a 12-year-old? That'd be so sick. You should meme coin.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That'd be tight. Rug pull. Matcoin? Rug pull would be nice. You call it rug pull?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
yeah yeah i don't think anyone's like inventing new technology i think they're just like copy and pasting the framework of every other coin and then you just give it a cool name and have like an endorser and that's that's all you need really you could probably do it yourself there's probably some youtube videos for how to do it what if i turned it into an nft
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Do you think, obviously, being anywhere in the 90s would suck, but I think being guy 100 would probably rule.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
It might be a surprise.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I don't think that any of them, none of them were like great art. I think it's just like they want to be on. It's attached to you. You know? Crazy. Yeah, you got to meme up. Yeah, I should meme coin. Time to go crazy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I'm out of the game. I'm going to rug pull.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
No, there was... Okay, so there was... The way that they argued back was that they said they weren't rug pulling. They were saying other people were driving up the price so they could, you know, dump. Dump real quick. Yeah, and so... Pump and dump, I guess. And so, but... Even if that is the case, what they did was they had a high transaction fee for all of the purchases.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
So even if they weren't the ones doing the rug pull, they were getting 15% on every transaction. So they still pocketed, you know, $20 million or whatever. Really? Yeah. Even if they didn't do what everyone is saying that they did. Well, I don't know. I'm just going off what CoffeeZilla said. Thank you, Coffee. Yo, shout out Coffee Zilla, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
No one wants products anymore, man. We're past that. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
People just want to think about a weird thing and then have money assigned to it. That's all. That's true. Well, that's pretty sick. That is pretty sick. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Thank you so much. Thanks for having us in the arena of ideas. I knew you guys could rock the setup, dude. Yeah. Do people get competitive on here? I want to win the podcast. I know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Like, you did it. You're so good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Great idea.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Thanks for flying us out here and putting us up in the lap of luxury.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
I can't believe it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
When we got in the hotel and saw how nice it was, I felt sexually pressured. Oh, guys, this is the industry we're in, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
That's the best part of the weather down here, man. You can play naked all year round.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You know, it's got to be nice. I would say maybe when she gets her second wind around, like, in the low 70s, that's probably a nice spot. You know, she gets a little bit of... She can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Ejaculate. She submitted herself to, like, Al-Qaeda, like, interrogation tag.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
They were doing 100 in the 80s. They were doing 500 when I was a teenager. Yeah. Howard Stern was having girls on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
The sandwich has been sitting for a while kind of like a room-temperature hoagie should use that rough like hands Lava yeah lava soap with the granules. Yes mechanic grant No water just rubbing that shit on her eyes and just peels and falls off drawing your hands on newspapers. Oh
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Did they ever send you as, like, their emissary to deal with white people? All the time.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Oh, man. It's more impressive than penetration.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah, you think the stroke locks in eventually, and you're like three, four pumping guys? You can even... You're talking like... Yeah, like, how fast are you making them come when you really get in your groove? Or a hypothetical woman, not you. Yeah, not me, obviously. Never. I'd be, I mean, me? I'd be lights out. I wouldn't even be in the building.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Yeah. That's got to be fun floating that out there to your like existing, like when you start promoting it and it's just like people, you know, they're just like, uh, like you flipping the coin and whether they'll check it out, you know? Yeah. That's going to be a uncomfortable.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
You're doing the soft core on Instagram and she'd be like, check out, you know, go to my link tree, you know? Yeah. Oh boys, you know, before it really catches on.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Would you be DMing them too? You know, would you be sending DMs? Because, you know, in IT, this was like security testing where we would like send a phishing attack to an employee to see how they react. So would you pop in the girl's DMs and just be like, you know, damn, you look so good. And just seeing how they responded. Yes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Then you take them off when you get to the... Yeah, sneakers on the beach.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It ain't turban. It ain't turban. I think you're not allowed to eat or drink while the sun's up. Really? I know. They wake up early in the morning. They wake up before the sun comes up. Yeah. And then you eat a big breakfast. Yeah. But then, yeah, you're not allowed to drink.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You got bigger fish to fry, dude. You're hungry as fuck. You're hungry as fuck.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I supported you during your juice fast. Can you imagine if a woman did this? I was trying to talk to her about it. You can't.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They will kill you. They would for real. Howard too. I know. We don't have anything to eat in the house because of you, you motherfucker.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, I'm sorry. I ate that, man. My bad. On day five. And it sounds like you didn't waver. I would have wavered. I would have wavered pretty quick. Dude, I was making breakfast for the family in the morning.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
When you were making breakfast, you kind of like, God damn, I'm in complete control.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
A little bit of the batter gets on your finger. That doesn't count.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You can have seven pancakes. It doesn't count.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I throw a ball around. You're good at the beach.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Oh, no. You can't be hungry. I spun it, though. I was like, dude, I was just trying to be polite.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You're not allowed to eat the pussy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's really funny. You too? Come on, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I'll die on every single fucking hill. Any hill. Name a hill. I've seen him die on the sand hill before. This is the second sand-related hellish argument.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You need to stop anyway, dude. I'm fed up, dude. I'm sick of it, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Did he? With the... He was a Jewish doctor. There was a clip during that time. He's wearing like a ski mask and a bubble vest. Just like, I don't know. I might be autistic. Yeah, bro. Or you got dinged up in that car accident. His head. Yeah, true. I think it's his head from the car accident.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Kind of got a little rowdy ever since then. That makes sense. But that was right when he got famous too. Yeah, it's hard to say. But it is a nice move. Fame and a wild traumatic brain injury will... That'll lead you to Hitler.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Eventually you go, oh, fucking Hitler.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Bryce Mitchell. Yeah, I saw Bryce Mitchell.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, I saw it. It was great. He was like, he's the dumbest guy I've ever talked to. It's actually a nice fucking, that's a good thing to have your boss go out and be like, look, he's a fucking moron. I'm not going to fire him. He's a dumbass.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, I mean, that clip started with these, because I've done my own research, not what the government indoctrinated me with. It just happened to Dan Bilzerian, didn't it? Bilzerian's been on it. He's been on that? Israel-Palestine kicked it off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He's been real. Israel-Palestine took a nasty little turn for me last night. What happened? I was watching the Netanyahu-Trump press conference live.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You better get your boy in check, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No, you're here. Starting to fast on Sundays. That's me. I've had enough. We're talking about your homeland. Fast is off. We're talking about your homeland. Fair. That's fair. That's fair. That is my leader, Netanyahu, like it or not. No, your boy Donnie T got a little... He said we're gonna just take over Gaza. He was like, America's just gonna take over Gaza, and we're gonna make it really nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
We cannot talk sand. A con man has an intense relationship with sand.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
We're gonna make it the Riviera of the Mediterranean.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No, I watched him say it. Really? Yeah, he was like, we're just gonna take over Gaza. And it's gonna be nice. And they're like, what about all the people there? He's like, they're not gonna be there. We're gonna make them go to Jordan and Egypt, and then they can come back. It'll be nice.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I agree. That's pretty dastardly. What the fuck is he talking about? No water socks. No. This is American territory now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I think they swim in full fucking white pajamas. I think so. Oh, they might. Yeah. I think so.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I'm not saying they're an asshole. I'm saying they're weird. I'm saying sometimes... If they're what?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's like he was, he did it. He just has the most basic ideas that technically he's like, we can't go back to what we're doing because it's not going to work. If we just go with the two state solution right now, it's going to be a war again. Yeah. And then, I mean, I don't know. One cool, but it was, it was bad. Yeah. I wish he didn't say that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I don't think there's a politician in America that's not. Yeah. Other than, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Bernie's obviously it. He's conflicted. Yeah, there's Omar Ilyan, whatever that lady's name is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That is my opinion. Let's stay out of this. It's none of my business.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You don't know that yet. I know. If Trump turns that thing around. Yeah. Sure.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Now this is all making sense. This is a really small area and it could get it done. Yeah. But, you know, it would. Where are they going to go, though? You have to displace two million people.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They killed a lot. Yeah, the whole thing's fucked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Donkey Kong roller coasters? Shit. Minecart roller coasters? Yeah, I thought of that. Subterranean log flume?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Well, shit, what the fuck is that? Fuck! You might hit some Jewish tunnels as well. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No matter how you slice it. Cartels, super Jews, and Muslims. Sometimes there's cool ones. Like French resistance. Occupied Germany. For the most part, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
There's a lot of drama on the surface. If your drama is so intense that you can't be on the surface of the earth... You're in trouble. The surface is too hot. We're going to have to go on the ground for a few years.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He said it's been real oppy outside. He said he checked the weather. It's getting real oppy outside in Gaza.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
But... Yeah, I don't think we were bombing civilians at such a high rate. Yeah, true. Well, yeah, hopefully we're at least trying not to do that, but... Yeah, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I know. He was like, I mean, I don't want to be, I don't want to say the wrong thing, but it's going to be so nice. He was like, of course the people, but also it's going to be so nice. Dude, I watched the whole thing. He's nuts. I mean, it's fun to watch if he's not talking about, you know, kind of a genocide.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
If he's not talking about ethnic cleansing, it's really fun. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I mean he might just be the ultimate optimist he's being really optimistic about it really rose tinted glasses like look guys I know this is sad you know you've seen the footage but yeah what was the plan for getting him out by boat he wouldn't really answer yeah he's because Jordan and Egypt both said they wouldn't take Palestinians and he was like I bet they will so that was his answer for that I mean that's a fair point yeah yeah yeah but dude they're gonna attack the park
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They're going to attack the park.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They're going to attack the cool park.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I'm not going to the Six Flags in Gaza. No. Getting attacked while you're on a roller coaster? Not for me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Just drunk, peeing in a lazy river. Yeah, no. Not happening.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
but yeah, it would take at least, yeah, it would take forever.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah. There's footage of that. Like of like when the Taliban came back, they got ahold of some, remember that they were riding like duck boats and ponds and shit. They're dancing. Yeah. Like a good time. AK 47s and duck boats. Yeah. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's a power vacuum, so somebody awful is going to get on this ride.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, but he was talking about sending our boys over there. Ah, no. Can't do it. No. What are we talking about? That's why the whole point of electing him was to not send our guys overseas. I know. That'd be some bull. Day fucking 20.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That was a take I heard on X. It's for real what he's talking about. He's like, it's the best piece of property in the world.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
the gaza strip i mean he could for real there is that's the other part like i was like i was watching it and i was like no don't say that you fucking idiot and then i went and floated in my pool i was like damn if he fucking gets peace in the middle east and a sick ass fucking just and a thing that america owned like he was like we're not gonna give it up with something we can
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It would just be a territory or something?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Well, no, that's for real what the plan is.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
But seeing Netanyahu sitting right next to him, like... That's a bad sign. It's definitely yours. It's definitely not absolutely ours.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, it's yours. Here's a video of you and a child we got at Epstein's house. Are you sure that's yours?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah. I think the Panamanians went in there and got a little rowdy on them. Yeah, I think so. And then we were like, thanks, fellas.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah. Were they mostly Panamanian? Were they Panamaniacs?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's the nice idea to be like, oh, we should give it to Panama. It's in their land or whatever. China just immediately took it over. As soon as we were like, Panama, you can have it. Contracts straight to China. What? Yeah, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Take that back. Give it back. We built it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Gulf of America, which didn't sound as embarrassing until he was like, Gaza's ours too. You go, bah. God damn it, dude. I thought you were just being funny.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Google Maps has to do it. Oh, Google did it. Google's going to do it. Yeah, true. It makes literally no difference at all.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I think he just signed probably on the desk where he... Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Only for sexual activities.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I've taken them. Got a giant rock-hard boner. Did you really? Yep.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, it was the hardest I've ever gotten.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Nice. It's time for my favorite part and yours of the show. Price picks. The big game is almost here, and it's now or never. Don't miss out on the last football game of the season with price picks, the best place to win cash. Right now, price picks is giving away free Patrick Mahomes pick. He only needs to throw one yard on Sunday to win your pick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Beezer's literally the only white guy I've ever seen. I bet. Unless you're a local. Actually, my cousin Frank did it. Yeah. He wore sneakers on the beach.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
If you're correct on at least one other stat projection, you can win real cash. It's that easy. Let me talk you through it. I just hop on the app, and I'll obviously pick the Mahomes free pick. Well, I ain't. And then we all know, I shared my secret, that I make the best picks, or I make my picks based on the best looking players.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, the aqua socks. That's a pretty big honky. Yeah. Aqua socks are definitely the honks. I don't think there's just honks. That is, for sure. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
So I'll tack on Saquon Barkley, because duh, those legs don't miss, to score one touchdown. And I'll add Jalen Hurts, the best looking quarterback with the shiniest chain in the league, to score one touchdown. Then submit my lineup, in your iconic Trump voice. Boom, done. Easy as that. Fly, Eagles, fly. Join me in the fun this Sunday.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
We're going to have big runs, big scores, and obviously big buckets of brewskis. You can't forget the brewskis. And hopefully a big win on PrizePix. Combine up to six picks. Picks are what the Chiefs will be throwing all day to create your lineup. You can win up to 1,000 times your money instantly. Real players, real sports, real cash.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
With over 10 million members and billions paid out in winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. It's the simplest way to win money in over 30 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. What do you think of that, Chris?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I like sexualizing them. Download the PrizePix app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 instantly when you play $5. That's code DRENCH on PrizePix to get $50 instantly when you play $5. Win or lose, you get $50 just for playing guaranteed PrizePix. Run your game. Must be present in certain states. VincentProspects.com for instructions and details. Wow. Great.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Manchester, England. St. Pete, Las Vegas, SeanGardini.com. Thank you. God bless you. That was unfortunate timing for the anti-DEI people. Oh, yeah. The helicopter pilot. Yeah, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, that's not it. Makes no sense. No, it definitely doesn't make sense.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I heard they went quiet for a while, yeah. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, that makes sense. They were talking to him, though. Yeah. I listened to the audio on Jones.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They were just kind of like, hey, what are you doing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
What the fuck are you doing?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, they're like, the plane has the right of way. You got to chill.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, I had to fly the next day. I had to fly the next day. We were on a plane just going. If it goes down like that, though, those people didn't feel a fucking thing. That was a missile. They passed out in the sky, for sure. That thing was going fucking nine million miles an hour. Oh yeah, I saw that. Who? Philly just got crashed. No, he didn't survive the crash. That was somebody who got hit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
If that guy survived that plane crash and walked out, that's a superhero, dude. Beast. You saw a superhero. Did you see how fast that thing went? Yeah, that was a bomb.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, it was scary getting on a plane. And it's crazy to be mad, dude. That's what I took to the bottle on the flight back. I bet. And it was a bad Monday. Really? Great Sunday on the flight back. At least you didn't crash. True. You get enough vodka up there, you go, I'll fucking die.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Half flapping off the foot. Wife beater's on still. Well, you gotta keep the beater on. No, you don't. It becomes see-through. It looks fucking crazy. It does. It just sees your wet nipples through the fucking... It's fucking weird. I got no defense for it. It just feels right. It's immediately see-through.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I told my lady about it, and she was like, oh, is this like when you saw the drone? I was like, you saw the drone with me. Are you telling me you were lying?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That's crazy. Yeah, I was fucked up. You saw the drone?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It was a real drone? Yeah. I even called Chris a week later to go, did you actually think it was a drone, or were you just being nice to me when I said it was a drone? He was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I was like, all right, just making sure you weren't just being nice. Because I've been running my mouth about this drone.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I've been sitting out in that fucking pool every night going.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No, these were very clearly bald eagles. Thank God there were tons of witnesses.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I can spot a turkey buzzard. Yeah. I can get those guys. I'd get tricked by the turkey buzzards all the time. Turkey vultures have those little tiny heads. It's pretty easy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They're bigger than hawks.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I'm good with hawks. I'm...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They were in my backyard every day in Westchester. There's like four of them that were in these trees right behind me. There was a big-ass owl. What? That would hoot at night.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No. Just, like, across a room? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, you can't hear his wings. Really? Yeah, it's pretty sick. There's an animal that lives on this roof that...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
occasionally just sprint sounds like it has two legs it sounds like a guy probably it is huge dude i had a raccoon on my roof it sounds like a person on your roof dude and then it'll just stand still for three days and then three days you've heard this fucking thing just sprints across the roof at nighttime or during the daytime or nighttime all time anytime bro okay he's got no he's got no clock
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You'd think it'd just be nighttime, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I know, I'd like to be able to see up there. I want to see that guy. I'm going to need to get a drone. His days are numbered. There's no way he can do the summer on the roof up there. He's sprinting up there. I think he just goes in that tree. Oh, yeah, true. It kind of touches the roof. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He cools out up there. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You've heard them sprint. Big boy, yeah. He's fucking huge. His legs are going to come through the ceiling while he's there. He's going to be wearing shoes.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I'll toss some dogs up there. Toss some hot dogs. Toss some dogs, dude. See how many animals I can get living up there. Just keep throwing food up there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Dude, we had something that was killing animals around this house. We would hear it all the time. You remember? Like, in the middle of the night, you're just like... That's raccoons.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I was just looking for a scout. Coons? I'll just brush them off the porch with a broom.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That's not me. That's Don Axe.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
There's someone in the replay. Turns out Tom Hanks, not a pedophile. We're going not a pedophile.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
You guys swim like it's the 1920s. Everyone's in full suits.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They're still in the film room on Big Mike right now. They're still analyzing tape. Going to New York. They're going to the headquarters.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That one actually could be.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
How much older? Wasn't it like his teacher?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They hooked her up with a good picture.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
McCrone's wife is 71. Whoa. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, she's way older than him, dude. She was his fucking, like, teacher when he was real young. He was, like, 12. Very French. Very French. She was 39. He was 15. Whoa. I mean...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He was a minor, and Macron has described it as a love often clandestine, often hidden, misunderstood by many before imposing itself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's not sexy, shut up. I hate fucking dudes being sexy. Fucking pisses me off every time. Imagine the likes of Paris.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I've seen it go the other way, but yes. I've seen it go the other way a lot of times.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
We were watching some Catch a Predator. We were watching Catch a Predator. With throwback actions.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Bro, one or two things happened. That's like saying you guys make it so we can't go to gas stations. We still go. It's just a risk. Why would we acid our own pools? There was a couple times where people were tossing it in. Some acid? Yeah, black people got in the pool and they're like, ah, ah, ah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
How did I get here? That is not my text message. That is not my beautiful text. I just remember one guy being crazy for the Nats. He was a Nationals baseball fan. His username was crazy for the Nats. And he's on there like, yeah, I'll fucking de-shape your pussy. Crazy for the Nats. It's almost more embarrassing than the text.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
No. Did you text this kid? Yeah. Yeah, I did. That is not my fucking screen name.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I don't know. They let Obama in. And he sucked. He seemed to have kept it of age.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I didn't know any people were talking about it. John Podesta is going down today. His aide. Good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I think that was a real one.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I was listening to War Mode today about it. The what? They were fired off about it. Were they fired off about the Pizzagate? Yeah, yeah. They maintain Pizzagate's never been debunked. Well, the guy went in there with a gun, right? Yeah, and apparently he shot, I don't know. I don't know. I'm getting it from War Mode. Sure. His one shot went into the hard drive of the, I don't fucking know. Really?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
But I think that guy just got killed. Did he really? I think, yeah, some cops rolled up on him and they were like, oh, he's got a gun and executed him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It'd be like Ellen talking to Diddy, like, oh, when are we going to have another pizza party?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Although Sandler was on one of those clips I saw saying they have the best pizza parties. And it's like, bro, I know the Sandman's not involved. So they're just legit talking pizza parties.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That's not, that wasn't like a fucking common occurrence.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
They could trick cool guys. They could bring the Sandman in and go, we actually are having pizza parties. Talk about the pizza parties. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I don't know. I feel like you kind of age out. You'd have to arm yourself. I've never had a real good pizza party. If there's a pizza party, I'm leaving there just... That's a good pizza party. That's a terrible pizza party.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Sandman, I think, saw a clip of the Sandman. I think he was on Ellen talking about how good the pizza parties were. Crazy. Yeah, I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I don't know, man. And hot dogs. Hot dogs are sus. I know they're not eating dogs like that. Nah. I love you, Chicago. Obama?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I can't believe you tried to put not being able to swim on us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
The hot babe is the nicest rumor.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He got in front of black people like, come on, brothers. I know. Y'all ain't black if y'all ain't voting for Kamala.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Although you could, you could. You could with urban, like being forced into a city without pools. That's the one way you could do it. Yeah. I'll take it. That actually, I mean, you could if you wanted to find the root of all your problems with white people. You could. Yeah. There is an argument. But swimming, come on, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
That was right when it was coming. It was pretty clear that the black vote was starting to swing more towards Trump than it ever had.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I mean, or you could get in an Uber and talk to a black guy. Yeah, true. Every single black guy I knew.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's true. You can get ousted, bro. Republicans do a good job of that with men. Yeah. Because you vote for a fucking Democrat? What are you, gay pussy? It's true. I might perpetrate that sometimes. It's nice. I might be a perpetrator. You're a dude who voted Democrat? I've seen that. That's so embarrassing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
He might. You never know. Yeah. He might. He's going to be gazed up at the end of this run. Yeah. He might go out. How old is he now? He's like 80, bro. He's probably 79. He eats bad, too. He could go through an FDR phase. No, he's at least 70. In the wheelchair? I think he's 79. Is he 79?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
We're going to bring him in as our guest. It's a pizza party. We should stick a tripod up there. We do have to talk a lot of Hell Let Loose. Oh, yeah. We got to talk Hell Let Loose. Hell Let Loose is incredible. Join us on the Patreon.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Oh, you're saying to the beach. I was just talking like pools. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's tough.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Matt, why don't you tell us what's going on with you? Because you got to be. You're talking about fasting? You can't wait to talk about it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's the cat who swallowed the canary. He's ready to talk.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Oh, my God. I would have never guessed that. Me either. You'd think they'd be able to...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Chris bought me with the if you can poop, you can fart idea.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's really just... Rats cannot fart. Yes, rats can fart.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
One year ago. Today I learned that rats can fart. Mice don't fart.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Why can't they fart? So rats can fart. Yes, rats can pass gas. In fact, rats produce the most intestinal gas when fed dried skim milk. What? Get some milk going out there. Let the boys turn your garden into a fucking fart den.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
When did you surprise go to the beach? It's not that I prefer it. When did you surprise go to the beach?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, that looks like a mouse to me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
If it was Jackson already, he was a farting dog.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
How much worse could he get?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
How come mice can't fart? Yeah, it's true.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
It's just got to be the way their bodies just can't. Mice can fart. What? What? Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
The misconception that mice can't fart likely stems from the idea that they can't burp or vomit to release gas, which is true. This is also AI. AI is, who knows?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I think any other, it says like any mammal, they can pass. I think every mammal can fart.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I don't want to hear that shit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I forgot. You've had a lifetime of torturing these fuckers.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
I just got to get this in before you guys attack me. I'm not yelling.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah. You'd have to kill him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Fresh tomatoes are so good.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
Yeah, man. What y'all fools up to? I'm just thinking about your fast. Oh, dude. I'd like to hear about it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, they're supporting us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
100%.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
It's over.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
This is a quiet, slow blowjob.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He's like, the fuck are you doing, man?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Interesting.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Oh, God.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, exactly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Maybe eventually they'll take it down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Thank you, brother. Hell yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Carlo Gambino. Carlo Gambino's kid. That was the most Italian thing I've ever seen. DeFecchio's fucking sandwich shop. It's Italian autism.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
He's trying to go straight to the source.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
I knew him way back when he was famous. I can confirm that cock, dude. I saw it in high school, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Say it like
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 539 - History Hyenas of the Future (feat. Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas)
Yeah, you had to be like, dude, his dick's huge.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 197: Simon Recs (Rex)
You know, there's talk about some Donald financial problems in Atlantic City, and I said that Donald took his daughter for a drive through Atlantic City and said, someday, honey, your name will be at the top of all these buildings. That's if you marry a guy named Borgata.