Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Thu, 19 Dec 2024
Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Dad Meat @ https://www.patreon.com/dadmeatpodcast Support Timothy @ https://www.patreon.com/timbutterly Support Sid The Kid @ https://www.patreon.com/ChakraPoppers or Listen to the Break The World Podcast Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Good Morning everyone. We have a special surprise for you. A bonus cast (spoilin you ngl). It's the return of the Stoner Dadzz - praise jah. And on top of that we may or may not have a special appearance from the big kahuna himself after the ad reads. shhhh. nbd. Please enjoy. God Bless you all. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co promo code DRENCHED
And we're live. What's up, everybody? How we doing? Motherfucking Sidney Gant, Tim Buddley. Thank you guys for coming. I'm fucking so pumped to have you down here.
Thank you so much. Thanks for having us in the arena of ideas. I knew you guys could rock the setup, dude. Yeah. Do people get competitive on here? I want to win the podcast. I know.
I need a buzzer. Well, here's the deal. No, if someone says something out of bounds, I will put you down.
But for now, we're peaceful. Dude, I feel like I should end all my sentences with my brother. You can. Why don't you anyway? I don't have the glass. I need the non-prescription circular glasses for that.
True. Possibly a bow tie.
Yeah, I need a bow tie.
I have the hair for it. Here's my thing. If I were black, I would talk. Like, really black. You know what I mean? I don't know. I always feel bad. What are you trying to say to Sidney? I wasn't allowed. You can do whatever you want.
I'm talking about my blackness. My family wouldn't let me. Are you saying Sidney's leaving blackness on the table? I think so.
I think there's some blackness to be had.
When you're like, I'm going to end my sentence with my brother, I'm like, why don't you every time?
Remember the movie Ray Charles when they were trying drugs for the first time and they wouldn't let him try drugs? Yeah. That's how my family was with Talking Black. They were like, this ain't for you, man. You don't want to be a part of this. So this is, like, my family, everybody in my family does talk that way. Yeah. Except for me and my brother. And they wouldn't let you have it.
No, they wouldn't let us get it in.
Did they ever send you as, like, their emissary to deal with white people? All the time.
I think that's what they were trading us for. That's so funny. Yeah, we were ambassadors. What did I tell you about saying she?
You can say shit.
You can say, God damn it. I would always be like, yes and no. I could never be like, oh, hell nah. Oh, you could do it on hell nah. Nah, nah. I wasn't like, they wouldn't let me say the N word. Everybody else in the house was saying the N-word, and I was not allowed to say it. What the fuck? I had to call it the N-word. What? This is no bullshit. My mom talked to the bus aid. I disagree.
That is some bullshit. That is some bullshit, right? My mom would talk to the bus aid. I wasn't allowed to sit on the back of the bus. No. Swear to God. I was not allowed to sit on the back of the bus.
How long would you get grounded if you were to say something like, I don't know, ain't this about a bitch?
Yeah.
That's the whole summer indoors.
How do you feel about that, though? Do you think it was a hookup? What do you mean?
Did you say that blacker? Can you say that whiter, please? What is the hookup?
Is that a desirable outcome?
Oh, no. Okay, see, I get that. So, no. No. Yeah, you didn't like that. No, I mean, I would just find different ways to, like, find my own little vibe. For sure. So it just made me more creative.
Yeah. You know?
That's true.
Right. The arbitrary constraints that create great art, you know?
Exactly. I like that. Exactly. But I would, so I would get in trouble in school because, like, I wasn't allowed to sit on the back of the bus. But when the bus would stop, like, either at home or at school, I would run to the back and open the emergency doors and hop out. That's sick. Like, I was the guy that would start that rebellion every morning. Yeah.
Do you do an emergency exit out of the bus? I did. Non-drill? Non-drill. That's crazy. Yeah, I would just blow past the safety patrol that knew I was going back there to do it. And I would sometimes have to swim move because they try to put that hand out to stop me. Bus safety is no joke.
I was a bus safety. I think I was a bus safety. Sidney was tactically running with both arms behind his back. How big was your school bag at the time? Naruto blasted through it. You're a giant school bag kid running off the back of the bus. Damn. Isn't that like the opening scene of a Goofy movie? Isn't that what the son does? Does he skateboard off the back of a school bus?
That's pretty sick, though. Goofy freaks me out too much. I tried watching the Goofy movie with my kids, and I was like, let's watch something else. It's too silly. And then it's like Goofy's nice, but then like the evil Goofy's, those like other guys, I don't like, I don't know. I just don't like the side of those guys.
The Goofy Goon Squad? I don't like those guys. They make you uncomfortable. They make me slightly uncomfortable. Goofy's, he's too about the bullshit. He's all about the bullshit. You're too structured.
Look at you. Way too structured.
You can't handle Goofy. I can't handle Goofy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bad guys in that are actually like the good guys for you. They're trying to straighten Goofy out. Yeah, man. Knock off his bullshit. Yeah.
I don't know why.
I don't like Ren and Stimpy.
I never liked that show. You don't like Ren and Stimpy. When I was little, it was just grotesque. You seemed like a Ren and Stimpy kid. I wasn't allowed to watch it. That's what my parents held back from me. They were like, no Ren and Stimpy.
That's good. Ren and Stimpy, I think, is spaz energy that you don't need. I didn't do it.
I would catch it sometimes.
Your parents were like, this is too white, man.
I told you, they did inadvertently do that. They blocked MTV and they just left BET. They didn't know it existed. So that was the only music channel I had. Oh, they cattle-shooted you.
It was probably the right thing. You know, the dude that created Ren and Stimpy was... Oh, yeah.
He was a little active. Yeah, I just don't like the bulging eyeballs. I just, when I was being a kid, being like, fuck, this show is bugging me out.
That was probably the most powerful I felt as a child. When they were doing extreme Ren and Stimpy close-up, I was like, I'm tapped into the source. I know what's up.
I hate it.
I've been hated. I've been dabbling in animation right now, and I've always told the animators, like, none of that Ren and Stimpy bullshit, bro.
I don't want to protest close-ups. I want everyone to look very shiny. My mom's going to get furious if she sees that.
Yeah, it was cringy for me. I would sometimes look away.
Yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't handle it.
Yeah, turn on Hang of Mr. Cooper now. Oh, man. I think my entire highlight reel of like childhood joy was just like a veiny face with bulging eyeballs and like a sound effect. I was like, that's all that ran through my head, man.
Funny. Funny. You bring up hanging with Mr. Cooper. That was always my biggest. One of the reasons I always accepted my plight for how my family wouldn't let me talk is I was afraid of sounding like hanging with Mr. Cooper. Really? Cause he was like a dude that like talked black, but sounded like he shouldn't.
Yeah, I can see that.
Do you know what I mean? That was my biggest fear. I thought he was cool.
I was watching him. I thought he was pretty cool.
Yeah, he's like a giant black nerd ahead of his time. Yeah, I thought he was cool.
I guess I was benchmarked. Urkel set a hard benchmark.
He was white cool.
True, yeah, he did. I read a thing recently with Urkel. He gave an interview about how he says that he's not included in the pantheon of black entertainment as Urkel.
Yeah.
He said fine, though.
Not even Stefan. Not even Stefan.
People weren't buying it. People were like, go back to the nerd character. But no, he was saying, like, if they say the all-time great black shows, it's like Martin, blah, blah, blah. And he was like, no one mentions Family Matters. That's wild. Because the Cosby show gets mentioned. And he tried to say it was because of, like... I don't know. He was like, it was because of the, like, family vibe.
But yeah, the Cosby show gets mentioned all the time.
Yeah, way more family vibe. Way more.
Yeah, it is way more family vibe. Yeah, I don't know. He must be... He's bullshitting, then.
Yeah.
He's just... He is... I don't know. I feel like... I know white people loved Family Matters. Yeah.
No.
he was on every show yeah he was on every show but he would deal with like they would deal with like hood issues but from a standpoint of a family that was trying to raise a good family in the hood so he had to like fight drug dealers and shit because his drug dealers were trying to get his son to sell drugs and he invited the drug dealer over and like tried to fight him in his house and his wife had to break him up this was called rock yeah ROC this wasn't called Kang of Queens laughing
That must have been before my time. That was a black deep cut.
I was around the same time as Family Matters. I knew Three's Company was like, black people love that show. Jack Tripper. I've never seen that either. When I worked for the labor union, I was constantly just hearing about Jack Tripper. Because I lived with my ex-wife and her mother. They'd be like, Jack Tripper, damn, bro. Jack Tripper. I was a wild bull. No, I'm not.
I looked it up and I was like, God damn.
It was also a psyop to get the black community to accept acting gay. Was Jack Tripper gay? He had to act gay. Because he wasn't allowed to live in the house that he lived in with those ladies unless he was gay. Oh, he was a fake gay guy. Yeah, that was a big plot point of that show.
damn so but he never did gay stuff in the show not so that was that was a that was a big comedic device because he would like bring women over and date women and then the landlord would come up while he had a date over and he had to like act straight with the date and then gay in front of the landlord fucking hilarious yeah it's never ending you can watch a guy you get a hundred episodes out yeah yeah that was like that was like basically how like uh
Like the welfare state, you know, you couldn't have a black dad in the house, but then he actually did live there. Yeah. That was Jack Tripper. Okay. Like it was like the gay welfare state.
Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be in there.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is funny too. That was like a show, a compelling plot to be like, you can't live in here with two women by yourselves.
Yeah.
Only in, what was that, like 1990? No, that was much earlier. 80s? Had to be 80s.
It's crazy. 70s even.
I think a landlord doesn't want you living by yourself with two women, as you shouldn't.
Yeah, that would be totally improper.
Did you hear about the lady who had sex with 100 men? The OnlyFans lady? Oh, yeah. She made a documentary.
She made a documentary. Yeah, did you see her cry? Yeah, tears welling up in her eyes.
Here's the thing. You never get to see the end of that. You know, it's like if you see that kind of thing, you're like, oh. You never get to see, like, the real kind of final act.
Were they, like, crying for, like, the same tears that you get for winning the championship? No, she was being very brave. She was trying to, like, be very powerful and brave and just be like, yeah. And it's just, you know, it's just like.
she was like it's not for me but i could see it being for other apparently apparently inside the room uh the production were gagging because like there were the smell of cum was so like there was so much cum that it was like that's i didn't think i've never thought about that that's disgusting yeah
i'll be honest like look do what you want but like having that 100 100 knee deep in the cum cistern 100 100 loads and like did they all not
I saw her saying in the Twitter clip that some of the guys were like, she was cutting them off after like two minutes. And he's like, it said five in the DM. And she was just like, yeah, come on, you got to go. Come on, get out of here.
So some of the guys didn't come. I'm assuming. Man, they probably pulled off to the side and finished. Those are the real victims here. You're like guy 45. They're also crying here. Some guys are probably just enjoying it. You're a guy 45 and you just get to, like, wet your pen. You're like, all right, get out of here. That's nuts.
You feel the breeze on your wet penis as you're walking back to put your shorts on. That would be funny, just mashing your half-heart bird into this lady for two minutes. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, nobody talks about the hundred guys. Let's examine the road that led me here. Yeah, no one talks about how the 100 guys are equally as problematic as a lady.
Do you think, obviously, being anywhere in the 90s would suck, but I think being guy 100 would probably rule.
You're there when they, like, pop the confetti. They're trying to, like, cheer.
Like, you did it. You're so good.
Your dick gets to, like, break through a little tape.
Yeah, that's guy 100. There's got to be a guy.
It's dumping water on itself.
There's got to be a guy who calls that. Someone has to call that. There's got to be a guy walking in, like, flicks a cigarette on the ground. He's like, I'll go last.
I always go last.
Watch this. This is my 45th one. It's like a marathon bumper sticker on his car. He's 100. I love being guy 100.
Century man, baby.
Yeah, that's kind of like insane to be like, yeah, I'm going to sign up and do that. I'm going to be like the 40th guy or first lead off.
You know, it's got to be nice. I would say maybe when she gets her second wind around, like, in the low 70s, that's probably a nice spot. You know, she gets a little bit of... She can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah, her eyes widen. Oh, apparently her eyes were sore. They were coming on her eyes, apparently. Holy... Yeah, apparently her eyes were sore from just... They were laden with... This is crazy.
Ejaculate. She submitted herself to, like, Al-Qaeda, like, interrogation tag.
This is every female rescued soldier.
Yeah. I mean, it's not ideal, right? I'm not trying to ring the moral alarm, but I'm like, it's just not a good use of time and resources.
They were doing 100 in the 80s. They were doing 500 when I was a teenager. Yeah. Howard Stern was having girls on.
I think it was in an hour. That was kind of the impressive part, man.
I don't know. It was timed. Oh, yeah. Okay. I think it was in an hour. Is she like in McGinnis books? I don't think that's more impressive. That doesn't make sense. I don't think that's more impressive at all. But it couldn't have been an hour because then it's like each guy got two minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's 200 minutes. It was one day. It was one day. 24 hours. Oh, so she ate like lunch?
The sandwich has been sitting for a while kind of like a room-temperature hoagie should use that rough like hands Lava yeah lava soap with the granules. Yes mechanic grant No water just rubbing that shit on her eyes and just peels and falls off drawing your hands on newspapers. Oh
Man, what a wild way to find out that's not for you. You could just speculate on that.
Yeah, here's my thing. I'm like, I don't think any girl wants to have sex with 100 guys. I think most girls don't even want to have sex with one guy. Good guys. Yeah. Who are there every day. Yeah.
Pay the bills. Girls don't want to have sex with one guy. Most of you love their life. He's a great father to their kids.
I totally have sex with 100 guys. A very patient and calm father. I might show my wife that. She had sex with 100 guys. I'm asking for a handjob, dude. Maybe two more of my friends. I'd be impressed if she gave 100 guys a handjob. I would say that's impressive, and I salute you.
Oh, man. It's more impressive than penetration.
She'd be like one of those arm wrestlers with one giant arm. Two at a time. Oh, just like bam, bam, bam? Yeah, like pure public service.
That I could get into.
Yeah, you think the stroke locks in eventually, and you're like three, four pumping guys? You can even... You're talking like... Yeah, like, how fast are you making them come when you really get in your groove? Or a hypothetical woman, not you. Yeah, not me, obviously. Never. I'd be, I mean, me? I'd be lights out. I wouldn't even be in the building.
I mean, at one point, your arms would get so tired, you would need, like, prosthetic assistance.
Yeah.
So you could get, like, robo-braces.
You would have to start, like, using your legs. Like, just, like, holding on. Yeah.
You wouldn't eat the mech suit eventually. But yeah, that's a shame. That's a shame that that's become like a viable path. Yeah.
Is it viable?
No. OnlyFans is like, I've heard it's like, it's not that crazy for a young woman, a college age woman to be like, yeah, we'll start an OnlyFans, you know, kick some money up on the side.
Yeah. That's got to be fun floating that out there to your like existing, like when you start promoting it and it's just like people, you know, they're just like, uh, like you flipping the coin and whether they'll check it out, you know? Yeah. That's going to be a uncomfortable.
Yeah. Making flyers for that. It'd be pretty fun. Yeah. Barking outside.
You're doing the soft core on Instagram and she'd be like, check out, you know, go to my link tree, you know? Yeah. Oh boys, you know, before it really catches on.
I'm not going to lie. I'm going to, I think as a parent, you should be monitoring that shit into the early 20s and putting kind of like a kibosh on that. You see, but I think it's sort of like burner accounts, I guess. It's like no having sex with 100 guys.
Yeah. Or just no only fans. Yeah. No pay for play. Yeah. I mean, you got to kind of like massage the idea of how gross that stuff is and how non-respectful it is early on. Yeah.
Would you be DMing them too? You know, would you be sending DMs? Because, you know, in IT, this was like security testing where we would like send a phishing attack to an employee to see how they react. So would you pop in the girl's DMs and just be like, you know, damn, you look so good. And just seeing how they responded. Yes.
Here's what I would do. I would hire some sort of like cyber attacker guy to take their basically like their content and switch it out with me, like taking dumps on stuff and jerking off. They would just be completely blacklisted. I would do like heinous scat content and have it like pushed onto their stuff and have them be like what the fuck happened and be like you know what happened
Like, oh, you guys like jerking off, huh? I would just fucking blast.
I would just pee. I would jerk off and pee. I would end up with, like, the seventh grade special. Yeah, you fucking sicko creeps like this shit?
That's somebody's daughter.
You guys made me fucking sick. Oh, fuck, I'm coming.
Yeah, you got to knock that stuff off early, man. And again, I don't want to say purely from moralistic terms. Before, it was thought to be disgusting to marry for sexual attraction. And that's crazy. Dude, the Puritans thought in England in the late 1800s, they were like, oh, he is horny for his wife.
That's disgusting. Yeah, you got to do that shit for property and status.
Exactly. It was just upholding the state. A man and a woman would just be like, fuck.
Damn, would you get in trouble if you smacked your wife's cheeks? Oh, it was on her.
It was crazy.
Really? Yeah. Oh, man.
Like if she walked by and you were like, damn. Oh, bro, yeah. It's over. You had to basically ignore each other. The more you ignored each other, the better.
So you're dancing around the campfire to the violin music, and you're grabbing your wife's tush, and the entire village just turns on you and shreds you. They rip you apart. They would just be kind of like very, very lowbrow. You guys should be just there. Keep an eye on his crops.
Dude, the sexual tension.
If that's what he's getting up to around here, who knows what's going on.
Well, I think that was more like the aristocrats. I think if you were like... Apparently, they thought back then it was bad to give... English aristocracy thought that it was bad for children to eat fruit. So the guy, who's that mathematician guy? Bertrand Russell. I read some of his.
I would have never guessed that in a million years. Bertrand Russell. Who's that mathematician guy? Remember Bertrand Russell? No. Mathematica? All right.
What are you doing, Matt? Don't get me high and do this conversationally.
Are you trying to humiliate me, my brother? No.
He wrote Principia Mathematica with Whitehead. They're the guys who wrote a math book where, I think, 60 pages explain one plus one. He was on some high-level nerd board. Yeah, but he claimed, well, he was one times one. He was claiming they did one plus one because they wanted math. What did they think that equals to? Two, but they want to be able to prove it because math.
Here's the problem with math. It's funded. It's they want it to be purely like logical. But math is founded on axioms that are unprovable. And that pissed them off. They're like, I can't stand that. Dude, we want this shit to be. Yeah, we want this to be like perfectly logical. No faith because they were like, you know, they're big atheist types.
They hit with the one plus ones.
Yeah, they're like, one plus one is two, but we're going to show you exactly why without, you know, people are like right on. But my whole point was he wasn't allowed to have apples when he was younger.
You're spitting me out because I recently, I got into like a high tailspin about not knowing anything about math. Welcome to my world. I don't know. Really? Now I'm fixated on learning something about it. I think I'm going to start with geometry. I started with an introduction to geometry video on YouTube.
Nice.
It was a shaky start. Really?
Yeah, because that's where the proofs are. I'm terrible at algebra, like borderline.
It's all the same to me. Yeah, geometric proofs, though.
When geometry gets into the proofs, I'm out. I knew him, dude. I don't know how I knew him. I might be the son of Pythagoras, dude. I somehow, they would ask me questions of the proofs, and I'd be like, oh, it's that. I just fucking knew. It was weird. Like how some people got that Genghis Khan blood?
I think so.
I got like a B in geometry without really trying, and the proofs were weirdly self-evident. Oh, I tried hard. But algebra... Terrible.
I'm not looking for algebra. You're good at algebra.
Yeah. Yeah.
I started this geometry video and I figured, here's what I was thinking. I'm going to click on this. They're going to go, Hey, welcome back to learning math as an adult. Yeah. I thought they were going to give me like maybe circle and square. They're going to go, all right, you know, circle and square. Let's start with like maybe the Pentagon, maybe trapezoid, maybe that kind of shape, bro.
They started with lines. I was like, Oh, I forgot all about lines. I forgot all about not shapes at all. I forgot about rays and segments.
I'm so fucked.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And so, yeah, I'm really worried I'm going to fail this YouTube and math test.
Don't tell anyone.
I'm going to cram the night before. Stay up all night. What's the test? I haven't found the test yet. I have to take some sort of metric. Yeah, you got to take the test. I told Mary Jo about it, so she'll hold me to it. She's going to make sure I get math.
He'd be nice, man. Hopefully. I've thought about doing something similar where I'm like, because I am deeply embarrassed and like, you know, my kids are getting older. I have to help them with their homework. And I'm like, I'm so bad at math that I've thought about just like taking a refresher or hiring like a math tutor. That'd be kind of nice.
I used to think I was good at math, but we as a family started doing this. We started doing this Elevate game, this app where it has these different brain games. Some of them are speaking, some of them write, and some of them are math. And every time the math one shows up, I kind of slink away as my wife and son take over.
Really? Yeah. Why? I thought you were the math guy, though.
Well, no, Ansley is, I am like a math guy amongst. You got good grades. She's a professional. Do you know what I mean? Like in a certain world, I can be the math guy. When I'm at home, I am the language man. Like my wife and son are the math people. We call it, like me and my daughters call them the white ones and we're the black. So the white ones are the math people.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
my daughter came downstairs the other day and she was like man dad the white ones are tripping upstairs damn that's hilarious the um yeah i uh you know what is cool about math though that the universe is structured according to mathematical principles or we're no i thought we applied that to it i I don't think so, man. It's like a chicken and egg thing. We don't know.
I think it's real. I don't know. I think the universe is just doing its thing, and we're putting graph paper on it and tracing it, and we look like fucking idiots.
I don't know, because here's the thing. There's a mathematics to music, kind of, and scales and everything, and that's... inherent in the universe. We didn't apply that.
And you can take that and apply it to other things. I'm out of my depth already. But I know that the mathematical principles that are in music, you can use it to create other forms of visual art. And it has the same sort of... You're talking about Winamp visualizers? Are you talking about Winamp visualizers?
Now you're talking my language. I don't know. I just think that's sick. I think math has to be real because if you can calculate the distance and land precisely, that means the exterior corresponds to the mathematical principles. I'm out.
But is the universe structured around that or is it something that we use because it's as close to as accurate as possible? to contextualize the universe around us. This is where quantum physics is.
Are we in assimilation?
Not that it makes a fucking difference for me, man. I don't even know what I'm saying.
Well, it pumps me up. It doesn't make a difference, but it just pumps me up to be like, that's sick. Math is baked into the universe. It's cool. You would prefer if that's true.
Like the Fibonacci sequence, like how a shell, the way a shell spirals. That stuff is fun.
It's just more evidence of design. Yeah. I don't like the idea of living in a randomly created universe, and I just don't believe in it. Okay. So that's all. That's all.
I'm indifferent to it. I'd be okay with it, I guess. You want to randomly create a universe? Yeah.
How so? I don't know. You don't want a loving creator?
I would love a loving creator. That's great. So you can't be indifferent. But even he could have like, this could be a Minecraft world for him where it's just like a different seed generator. You know what I mean?
For sure. Would you think a loving creator would make the world based on math and make like 99% of the people not be able to understand it?
It's the fun of the story. We probably were never supposed to worry about it. He's probably just like, why are they fucking monkeying around in the server room? Just fucking eat apples, dude. There's apples on trees.
They had everything and now they're fucking gumming up the works.
Why are you doing that?
Yeah, that's got to be really annoying.
Yeah.
I was reading about Irish immigrants in like the early 1900s and like, dude, they really, their lives suck, dude. Terrible.
Yeah.
I think everyone. Before or after they got here?
both both just getting over here and it's not like not being able to eat when was this the 20s 30s yeah that's when my family got here did they really yeah yeah it was like a big deal like the dude the dad would actually bring home his wages and not drink them away and they'd be like we can have toast and jam and eggs and like the whole house would be so fucking pumped yeah it's like i wish i could get that pumped on toast and jam and eggs i like it i'm happy what is your family i never i don't think i've ever known this we're all irish you're all irish yeah and you love toast and jam
I do love toast and jam, actually.
I'm still eating English muffins with butter and jelly and being very happy about it. That is nice. Careful, though. What's your guys' AC1? Do you have diabetes?
Why'd you ask me, my brother? Why are you pondering that question upon me, my brother?
Let me ask you this.
I thought you had, didn't you have something like that? Or gout or something? No, I was dealing with gout, some gout. shit for a while, but I got under control. There was a gout break in Philly. Rainey had it too. I'm sorry, Mom. I was dealing with some gout-like symptoms for a while, and I got it under control.
What happened? What was triggering it? I mean, you know, I crush donuts, like, every night. Well, that you gout, but not... I'm, like, so mystified by this, because the A1C is when you're... That's, like, the diabetes stuff. Yeah. That's the percentage of your blood cells that are coated in a delicious frosting.
Yeah.
Mine are at 5.7%. Okay. And if you get to 6.3, you officially have diabetes, or 6.5.
I was just eating a very rich diet for a little while, because it wasn't just the donuts, but I was also kind of addicted to grocery store fried chicken, and I was eating that... I was genetically predisposed to it. Dude, I was crushing it in my car and eating a whole thing before I got home so I could throw it away.
My wife was starting to get a little worried about how much grocery store fried chicken I was eating. Really? Yeah.
What do you think? I go through these things as well. What do you think pushes you into these obsessive eating things? I knew it was a grocery store sheet cake for a while.
Yeah. That was a phase. That was a bad one. That's stupid.
so crazy i escaped that one with no real symptoms of anything but have you checked your a1c that's my question no i want all my friends get their a1c checked because you don't know nobody knows do you have a place we can go after this yeah quest diagnostics we can just go fucking get our a1c checked right now i feel like that's that's the problem like once you're black and find out you have diabetes it all goes downhill no you can turn it around it's it's like easily that's what i just turn it every time i feel like things are getting out of hand i just turn it around true i just i don't need to i don't look i'm not fucking with numbers i'm not a math guy man true
I just want you to look guys. I just want you guys to not have diabetes. I couldn't believe I have a free dive. I for real was like blown away.
Honestly, I don't even believe in diabetes.
You say it's definitely not.
I guess it leads to like every it fucking destroys you. I guess I just feel like if you're a person that gets diabetes, then it's like you're already fucking everything else up anyway.
No, I think literally one out of every three people is close to pre-diabetic in America. That can't be.
I swear to God. Look it up.
I swear to God. It's like something ridiculous. It causes a whole host of other problems. Your eyes get fucked up.
That's why we need European soda and candy. That's what we need. They're not getting diabetes like we are. That's true. They're ruining our snacks.
The snacks?
Oh, yeah. You're a big junk food guy.
How do you feel about Maha? Make America healthy again.
I like it. I need to be controlled. I need my portions picked for me. 38% of people are pre-diabetic.
Or pre-diabetic.
Yeah, dude.
And if you don't realize it, it just kind of sneaks up. All your hemoglobins are getting coated in sugar more and more.
I think you know.
They get sharp. Dude, I had no fucking clue. What did you have to change to fix it? I just don't eat carbs anymore.
How much cereal at night were you eating? Not a lot.
I was crushing cereal here and there, but I was more so portion monster. And I was like, I don't really eat sweets that much. But then I was running through it the other day, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I would get a sweet thing every time I was in the grocery store. Anytime they were in my house, I would eat all of them. I was like, I was eating a lot of fucking sweets.
So type 2 diabetes is when your body doesn't make enough insulin to deal with the sugar intake? I don't know.
I think that insulin finally comes into play. I have yet to research insulin. But the one number one marker they give you is what percentage of your red blood cells are coated in glucose. It's like they have literally like a sugary coating on the outside. And then like those sugar, I think like sugar that whatever that is, the glucose, certain like molecules are like sharp and crystal like.
So then they're kind of slashing all your veins as they're moving through your body. That's why like diabetics get like fucked up, like blotchy eyes get fucked up. You can't pee after a while?
I think that's what it is. I think insulin is what takes the glucose and turns it into energy so your body can use it. And if you're getting too much glucose, then your insulin is like all the pies are coming down the conveyor belt and it can't handle all the glucose. That's when diabetes type 2. Something like that, yeah.
It just fucks you up. You just have sugar just rushing through your veins and cutting your veins and you get all jacked up. That rules, actually.
That's so extreme. That's kind of sick. That's so radical. Turn into a salmopatch kid.
What do you guys think about the hunk murderer guy?
Oh, yeah. CEO. Do you think it was him? I guess it was him, right?
You think he was a patsy?
I don't know. I'm worried about the eyebrows in the surveillance photo and the mugshot. I did see that. I don't know if those match up. That's why I'm holding off on having any kind of emotional reaction to it because I want to know if this is the real guy or not. If it's really him and they caught him, that's an interesting outcome. Yeah.
if the whole story is straight and they didn't make up a manifesto and plan it on them.
Yeah. That's a crazy target, though, because you would think like... I don't know. It's like, don't they usually pick, like, lunatic? Kind of like, I guess he did kind of, like, lose his mind.
He only disappeared for a few months after getting into psychedelics, I guess. I'm basing this all just, like, tweets about him. For sure. That's all any of us have.
But it was his back hurt, apparently. That's the one thing. A lot of people are lionizing him, and it's like, I get it. I do understand why, but it's like, if the back... theory is true and his back hurt so bad that he girl spazzed and shot a guy. That's where I'm kind of like, I don't know if we should totally prop this up. Back pain is like that, though.
It's emotional. It's very emotional. You can't go around shooting people because your back hurts. Yeah, and you're going to weep in your bed and call your wife as she disappointingly talks to you. I just had that a couple days ago.
I follow another Twitter account that says you should never, ever emotionally make yourself available to your wife and never eat her pussy.
Oh, I saw that too. Did you see that? I saw that. It looks like it's written by a lady.
Never eat her pussy.
I thought that was like a Tristan Tate tweet.
No, there's like an account I follow of like a picture of like a lady just being like, don't eat your wife's pussy. She'll never respect you.
Every time I like, I always shrug that stuff off. That's crazy because that might be the moments where I feel most respected.
I know. I do like that outcome where it's like you have to absolutely dominate everything. at all times. It's just a funny... I just don't know. It makes me laugh. Some of those guys that aren't married, though, they're saying this shit. I know. Well, you're a fool for having even done it, dude.
Tristan Tate would tell you you're a fool right in your face. You're a fucking fool, dude. He's got a lot of money. I defer to you, man. You've got definitely something figured out. I don't know. He might go to jail for sex trafficking. That's the game you play, though. Trill. You got to put your money down if you want to get in. Yeah, either get a wife or sex traffic. That's the move.
That's a hard penalty right there because you're getting so much pussy that you're busting it in. That's sex trafficking.
Yeah.
Anytime you transport pussy across state lines.
Well, you have to mislead them. That's the key. You can move all the pussy you want in the world, but if you trick them.
Dude, that's all I ever did to get pussy. Like, yeah, come over and chill. This is true. You ever see The Office?
That is a slippery slope. You have to trick them and move them across state lines. That's trafficking. You can prove it was a nasty trick.
What percentage of consensual sex do you think is trick?
Like 95.
I would say 90. At least initially. We've been together for 25 years. Still to this day, I feel like I have to trick her to have sex.
Really? Yeah. What's the number one trick? What would you say you do?
He paints a big tunnel on the wall and she runs into it.
She gets a gigantic cartoon bump on her head. Put like Birdseed down on a plate.
i've learned that i have like one i was like talking to my wife about this yesterday we went for a nice walk and uh we're just talking about her monthly cycle and uh you know yes and she was explaining to me she's like yeah i'm like fuck the week before my period the week during i'm like whatever the week after i'm like furious and then i have what i'm like so you have three bad weeks out of the month she's like yeah but then i'm really horny on that fourth week i'm like yeah it's so sick yeah let's go
We have one glorious week per month, and it's so tight, dude. So juicy for me and nice to me.
Most of my trickery involves trying to make her think that I'm not constantly thinking about banging. Yeah. Banging. And then she can eventually be like, he's been good.
Yeah, true. It builds up. My thing is I'll be like, I don't even want to have sex. I just want to feel your body. Let's just cuddle for a while naked. And then you go, ooh, what's that?
Skin to skin.
Yeah.
I'm a big skin-to-skin.
A little skin-to-skin, and then naturally you're like, eh.
Yeah, that's a large part of my dubious tactics, skin-to-skin. Let's just kiss. I just want to kiss you so bad. Can I just, like, nestle my face on your face? That's all I want to do.
But I think the rules don't apply to wives. Like, your wife can be just, like, blacked out drunk, and it's like, any judge would be like, take what's yours, sir. Take what's yours.
It's your property, sir. I think they made some progress on that during the interview.
I think there was a lot of, like, Not for wives, just for students. Dude, if your wife's drunk.
That's the universe. I've been seeing a healthy number of like, am I the asshole on Reddit? Or it's like, I accused my husband of sexual assault because he took me when I was blacked out or something.
But usually the woman comes home hammered and is like, you're not going to be like, get off me, you drunk bitch. You're going to be like, all right, I'll have sex. Stop sucking my dick. Fine. I guess I'll have sex with you right now.
yeah while you're in you know your inhibitions are lowered and i can touch your butt but yeah there should she's like passed out don't be a pig sure you can you know let her rest man she had a long day a long day let her rest and then guilt her in the morning be like we're supposed to have sex someone was too drunk it is i i dude i don't like when women are drunk to be honest
No, not at all. You don't like their behavior?
I just don't like it, man. I don't like it. My grandfather was right. He told me when I was a young man, he says, nothing worse than a drunk woman. I tend to agree. I tend to agree. It's a fucking liability. They're a hazard. Yeah.
A drunk woman is genuinely a hazard. They're out of control. They already have to be monitored at all times. Like, I feel like most women should walk around wearing a helmet at all times. Women helmets would be nice. Yeah, it'd be pretty sick. Women helmets, just general padding.
They step on, ow! They bump their heads so much. Ow! Yeah, true. They get hurt. Yeah, they get hurt. Yeah, they're constantly bumping their heads.
You have to stop them from walking off a cliff and shit. You're, like, building structures around them as they walk through life.
Nothing worse, dude. You're like Mr. Magoo, like flitting around trying to keep Mr. Magoo safe. I have such a low tolerance. It's something I'm working on. I have such a low tolerance for the ouchies. Like if my wife bumps her knee, it's like, oh. I'm sitting there like, you're fine. You're all right. Get up. Come on. You're fine. I don't know why it makes me so mad. I'm like, that's not that bad.
Why don't you try paying attention to where you're going sometimes?
It's ridiculous. You know what really sets me off is if I'm banging into something really loud, like I'll hit my head on a ceiling fan or something.
Never had that problem.
I have some low ceiling fans. That was a bad example. But I'll bonk, right? And then I get a really sick feeling in my stomach because I know she's going to, without coming to me, she's going to go, are you okay? And that makes me madder than anything else in my marriage. And so now the joke around the house is if I stub my toe or something, everyone takes a deep breath and goes, I'm fucking fine!
It's the worst. Are you okay? Shut the fuck up. My shit is throbbing right now.
Oh, what happened? Nothing! Although, to be fair, almost anything that is low enough for Butterly to hit his head on, he will make contact with that at some point.
I have very poor vision, an enormous head, and slightly above average height. It's a recipe for disaster.
Yeah, it does suck. Stop in your toe.
Fuck off.
Shut the fuck up.
Am I okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
My wife's a big let me see it. Let me see it. No, fucking don't touch me. Get off me. Let me just see it. I got to see it. I'm like, no. And without fail, she'll tweak whatever it is. And I'm like, that fucking hurt. Why did you do that?
Get off of me. Stop.
Chaps my ass. They need ice. They don't need fucking ice.
Yeah, I don't know if I ever used Neosporin before my wife started healing me.
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Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Hey, what's up, Shane? How you doing, dude?
Hey, it's good to see you.
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Please, how do you play? Because I'm looking forward to the Pygmus spectacular.
Let me break this down. Shane, you know about the NBA and NFL, right? Of course. So we got NBA and NFL on Christmas Day again. So let's make some picks for the games on that day. I like Anthony Edwards to score more than 26 points on Christmas Day in his rematch against the Mavs. I don't know if you know about that. But, I mean, Luka and those guys, they swept him last year. Did they?
Yeah, they fucking swept him last year. So, you know he's going to want to show up. He's going to be hungry. He's going to be hungry. He's going to show up with the spotlight. He's hungry.
He's going to let some fucking white boy fuck up his Christmas.
Exactly, dude. That's some bullshit. He's going to want the spotlight on him. But, I mean, dude, the football games are pretty good, too.
Yeah, Chiefs-Steelers. I'm excited about that.
I like the Steelers' defense to shut down Patrick Mahomes.
You know what, Matt? I don't know. I was going to say that. That was going to be my pick as well.
Picking less on his projected 239 passing yards. On 239 passing yards? Yeah.
But it is Christmas. The boy might have to put on a show for us.
I know. I know.
Although they haven't been able to protect him very well, and hopefully a healthy T.J. Watt gets home. I'm going to go less. You're going to go less? Patrick Mahomes passing yards. How about – 239. Do they have – what's his name's – Travis Kelsey's numbers?
No, they don't have Kels up here. I think, no, they don't have any kills. What do you think about kills?
Less on my homes. I don't know. I'm going to have to see what the number is because I couldn't even guess. I would imagine Christmas and T.D. Swift's going to be there and he's going to want to put it, you know, he's going to put it on a show for his baby.
Yeah, for T.D. Swift. That's going to pump you up if everyone's just slamming your mega famous girlfriend. You're like, I'll fucking show you. Yeah, I'll show you. Run a tight fucking poster. Come on, fucking. Yeah.
Yeah.
so yeah I think that's a good I do value this conversation I think it's a good idea and you can combine up to six points shut up dude you can combine up to six picks dude this is the thing I really wanted to sit you down and talk to you about we're taking apart the podium when I'm getting back it'll never die dude it'll just move and go I'll get in there you gotta get the headset on dude dude
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And they're just giving everyone $50. Yeah, dude.
They don't want to give you $50.
That's nice.
Yeah, this is what Christmas is all about.
What episode is this going in?
One. It was me, Sidney, and Butterly. We're going to toss it. All right, nice.
Little stony dads?
Little stony dads, yeah.
Yeah. So, yeah, we're going to toss it in. We can probably just keep it rolling.
We could just rip.
What are you doing?
I just got in. I got in from getting my motherfucking massage.
Oh, yeah, you just got your glands sucked.
No, I wouldn't put it that way.
I got my... But is it a guy or a girl?
It's a girl. It happens to be. If it were a guy, I didn't care. I was like, look, I'll take whatever.
You wouldn't care if it was a guy?
No, dude, it would have... Fuck that. If it was a guy, I'm obviously... I'm capping right now. If it was a guy, I can't get a guy. Yeah, that would suck. I mean, because your lymph nodes, you have one right on your hip. If I were to... I don't need to like demonstrate, but it's like, I'm right there. So it's like, yeah, look, it's just my body. I didn't put my left. You've got tubes there. He do.
You do have some dude here. I want to give you something. I do want to, I actually wanted to bring to your attention. I have an idea. for a live show. I'm going to try to do it at the Cretan cave. And I want to see what you think about this, where I, so it's just like a, I wear the headset on stage, walk around and I would let the audience step up to the crowd, to a microphone, to ask questions.
And I, it's a simple Q and a, but during the Q and a, I got to bust out a thousand pushups. So while people are asking questions, I'm just ripping pushups.
And then I pop up and I'm like, you threw a thousand in an hour and an hour. Can you rip a thousand in an hour?
I'd have to prepare myself for that. But I do like the idea of having people ask questions and just rip and pushups on stage with a headset. And then as they finish their questioning, I can pop up and just be like, I'm glad you asked and then answer the question to the live audience. Bro, that's so hard. I start preparing myself for it. But I mean, it's really, you know, it's 110 times in an hour.
So if I practice, I think I could bust it out. How many do you think you can get now in an hour? Not a lot right now. I'm pretty weak, but I could start doing modifieds on stage. If I started doing modifieds, they'd count.
It's better if you're not prepared. It's significantly better if you end up getting like 48 push-ups in an hour.
I totally guessed the thought of just like doing physical exercises in front of a live audience while people ask you questions is me. I don't know why it makes me laugh.
It is very funny. So you're thinking like a Ben Shapiro owning kids. No, it's you doing pushups.
It would just be a free form Q and a it's, and there's no, nothing, no thing driving it where I don't want to argue. I don't want to fight and fuss with people. It would just be, they could ask whatever question they want, bring up any, I think you're going to want to direct it.
You're going to want to find some topics. Yeah. You think so? Cause if it's just fucking Q and a, they're going to be like, how do you come up with your material? Although that's funny.
If you're doing a pushup, that's that actually, you know what? You're totally right. Cause I, I did a Jeremiah walk and stand up on the spot recently. And people will just be like tires. Talk about that. I can't do stand up about that.
True. I would just be doing pushups. People going Shane. I'd be like, yeah, dude. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah.
coming back dude there's there's some babies dude i'm coming back the babies are falling i think the babies are falling off yeah the babies there's still there's a couple babies i got on twitter and a guy who's he was being a baby don't go on x dude i was i i get depressed every time i go on like instantly instant depression every time i go on yeah it's i go on x and i've been trying to find out about the drones and there's nothing you can't find out anything
Dude, I tried to do that. I was like, yep, I'm on the news. I'm watching the news. This is all I'm doing. And I just scrolled. I did the death scroll on X. And it's like, dude, you feel like schizophrenic when you get off.
Yeah, I watched a bunch of Muslims guys stone a guy to death.
Fucking horrific. My algorithm is like secrets women don't tell men and I read those threads nonstop.
I don't like that. I don't like that. Babes have found their way back into my algorithm. I don't know what happened. Babes are back? Babes are back on the menu, dude.
I get those, and I get, like, there's new accounts that take, like, Andrew Tate-type teachings, but it's, like, they pretend it's from a hot lady. And it's, like, a weird kind of digital femdom. You can get, like, red-pilled through, like, a fake hot lady being, like, never eat a woman out. Women never respect you if you do that. They must submit. It's pretty sick.
It's from a hot lady saying that? I could just be an Indian guy, but it is a, it's the pictures of hot ladies. That's all you need. Sometimes you need an Indian guy.
You know what I mean? Sometimes there's things that can do that. You know, true. This is true. Nobody can work my spot like a fucking Indian guy on the internet.
i'm telling you i got any guy all like deep in my head right now just pretending to be a girl just telling me all the stuff i gotta do to maintain frame and i'm like telling myself it's from like a hot lady telling me this and i'm just like how are you what do you know what else you have to do to maintain frame other than not eat not go down on them never eat the india that's no offense to them that's gotta be a pretty fucking easy rule to follow true not a lot of oral going on over there
I doubt. Yeah, I doubt. Although, dude, I don't know, man, if you put me in the swirl of that, dude, I mean, just as vibrant, just vibrant spices and stuff. I could like get used to it. I get I could just get totally lost in the dizzying aromas.
Speaking of dizzying aromas, I got I got it's easy to be, you know, xenophobic when you get in an Uber and it smells. Yeah, but I can fight through that. I'm like, all right, whatever. It smells weird. That's fine. I got a fat Uber. The stink, dude. Yeah.
And did they complain the whole time?
It's just a fat one. Did they complain or were they silent? No. I was so close to complaining. It was a battle of fats complaining. I got in the backseat just... I didn't say anything, but I was close to putting the window down, which would have been, I feel like, too mean. Yeah. 20 degrees outside.
It would have been warranted to be like, dude, you're stinking. Smelled terrible. It is nice, though, because if I get a fat Uber driver, it's easy to tip them in. I just don't know. I like to get them kind of complaining a little bit. So all you got to do is be like, fuck is that guy? And they'll just start a fat complaint spaz. This guy drives like a fucking ass.
A fat complaining spaz. They are quick to hit the complain button.
Dude, I'd be complaining. I mean, for real, if you're carrying all that extra stress on your joints, it's like, that's like a serious form of just kind of like a stress reduction. You just got to start to complain and be like, fuck me.
Yeah. And then driving, driving Uber is tough. And then, yeah.
Cause you're only getting fatter every day.
Yeah. So you're just kind of, but anyway, God smelled the fat smell destroys American fat smell. We got to stop complaining about Indian smelling.
Yeah.
They have nothing on our American fats.
yeah, true. American fat has like a chemical component to it. It's like, it's no, there's no, it was like vaginal.
Oh, so bad.
Yeah. It's like fish. Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, what else is going on?
not much dude just fucking uh that's all i have to report i got an uber with a fat guy that's good a stinky fat smell for real is i i would do yeah i would do the streets of calcutta any day over like a hard even like a vague fat smell that i'm like is that what's going on yeah i've been looking for the drones i've acute my eyes peeled out here talk to me i talked to an alien guy
How'd it go?
Sick. It was a pure happenstance. I was like, yeah, I'll talk to an alien guy, James Fox. He did. He did. Like, he was actually a big time alien guy. I didn't know he was like he did like multi ton of documentaries. He sold to like different networks. Fucking blew my mind, dude. He was talking about, you know, about Camp Penis in Brazil. Camp penis? It's Camp Peñas in Vagina, Brazil.
I swear to God. Camp penis is in Vagina, Brazil. It's something like Vagina, Brazil. And dude, he was talking about the UAPs and he just hit the fucking Camp Peñas.
And I was like, hold up, bro. What the fuck? It's my Peñas.
But, yeah, he was a man. People fucking grabbed this, like, alien craft crashed in Brazil, and this guy tried to touch the alien to, like, bring him down. And two people who touched the aliens died, according to James Fox. I mean, I went in UAP totally agnostic, and now I totally believe, dude. The truth is definitely out there somewhere.
The truth is out there.
So, yeah, the UAPs are having a moment right now. That's what I'm all about, just people having moments. LaMera's having a moment right now.
Wow, what did Lemaire do?
He did KT. Lemaire did KT. Oh, nice one. And it went where? Only two weeks ago.
Is it on air? Is it on YouTube, I mean?
Yeah, it's on YouTube. And a guy went on there with just his hair was so fucked up. It was funny. He was doing the straight, like, grade school comb down, but he was losing it. So it was just, like, lines that he then took, like, some sort of marker mascara to, like, Cover this up. Dude, he was like he walked out and people literally laughed. It was a mothership full of people laughed on site.
Still had no idea. He's no clue. He's just like, OK, cool. And he starts doing his jokes. And and then we just started, you know, we're just like fucking with him. And then Tony convinced him to shave his head. So he actually shaved his head in between the things. And he looked great. He came out. It was like a really nice moment.
for like you know that is like you're on that show which is dudes it's just guys getting like just beaten down yeah it kind of wears on that guy got fucking queer on yeah dude he got he fully got queer i don't kill tony you'd look so much better like this
He totally did. And it was, dude, it was like, totally. It was, I, I, you know, I'm like, okay, I can't really see it. Obviously I'm straight as hell, but it's like, he was so right. He was so right. And it was like a nice moment where I think he like changed this guy's life. And then the dude, he was like, yeah, come back in a month. We'll check back in with you.
The dude signed up for the very next week. So, you know, those episodes don't air right away. So he comes out, gets in the bucket pool. Which, you know, it was just everyone's like, I was rigged. But it's like, why would he pick that guy twice? Because it didn't it didn't air. So no one knew what this guy was talking about.
So he was just like, by the way, to after he's on Kill Tony changes his Instagram to like whatever his name is on Kill Tony. So it's like it's just like his whole life now. He comes out on Kill Tony the next week beating like one to three hundred odds. And just as like talking about his shaved head and the whole crowd's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Because he's not really funny at all. He just completely blew it.
But Lemesie was holding it down. He did good.
Lemesie's having a moment, dude. He did that. He was on stand-up on the spot. Lemesie is totally having a moment right now.
Good. Yeah, it's pretty sick. He better hurry up because he's got to move out and not get home.
You got to put the boulder behind him, dude.
Yeah, it's coming. It's coming soon. I got to do a bar crawl. Billy Brook is like, what did you say?
I got to do a bar crawl tonight. Billy Brook is like skateboarding. Not my fault. So, yeah, dude.
Bar crawl is going to be sick. I'm a little jealous.
Bar crawl will be sick. My plan is to eat a weed gummy to slow myself down. But we'll see.
I'm here by myself in this haunted fucking house. You're by here lonesome. Yeah, my lady went home for a couple of days. I'm just here in this fucking spooky ass house, dude. Yikes. I'm afraid the entire time I'm here. Yeah, dude, I was scared the whole time. I'm so scared the entire time.
He told me it was fucking the other room and it's haunted.
I was fucked up until you're like, it's an old house. I look outside. There's the front porch is right here. So you can just walk. Somebody walks. I think I see people the entire time. I'm looking out my window. Dude, you might have a six cents. The only cure is brewskis. I know. The only cure is a couple brewskis. I'm like, fucking ghosts aren't real. Fuck ghosts.
You're like an old farmer on his plot.
It's so scary.
I don't fuck with old houses. I don't like them, man. They freak me out. I don't like old houses. I like them when someone else is here. True. Yeah, that's kind of nice.
By itself, it gets very spooky.
Until they get gripped by their ankles and ripped out of bed. You're like, dude, you got to go. Don't joke about that, dude.
I'm going to call Blizz. I'm going to have Blizz sleep over again.
That'd actually be a funny sketch to have paranormal activity, but the dude's too big and the ghost can't budge him.
He's like... He doesn't even wake up.
He just farts in his sleep and the ghost's like,
and the laundry the laundry's in the basement in the fucking dude forget it original basement it's so scary just forget it dude i don't have a basement in my house now is they don't have a lot of i guess in austin they don't dig down for basically i don't have basements
But my garage has become the basement. I got to, at the end of the night, check if the garage door is shut.
Scared out there.
I get scared looking into my garage. It's scary. There's definitely a guy fucking waiting in here the whole time. I open the garage and it's like, you know, you just see stuff in the dark. I hear you, bro.
Yeah, I took a shower last night. I was terrified the entire time. Thought I heard stuff like six different times. Thought I heard something. Dude, I'll just be sitting here playing Xbox and pause the game and go. All right. Go back to playing. I got to get back to Austin. I'm ready.
Yeah, it'll be sick, man. It'll be right in time for the chilly weather right into the warm.
That's fine with me. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah.
Excited to have you back.
At the driving range with Gerbys and O'Connor today.
How was that?
Had some golf balls. It was nice. That is nice. Gerbys is a golfer. It's very fun.
He's good. He's a beggar.
Yeah, he's good. He is bagger man. He was helping Chris. Was he really? Yeah, Chris is just naturally good at it. Chris is dumbass and like TJ Maxx and bought like a golf outfit to go to the driving range.
Why?
He's wearing a fucking glove.
What?
He bought a golf glove. He's got glove money now, dude. It's crazy.
He's got that glove money.
Season two money came in.
That does. I see him as a glove guy, though. That suits O'Connor. Driving gloves.
Glove, pops collar, fucking fleece. I was wearing this. I was wearing an Eagles hoodie and sweatpants.
O'Connor, he decided to really just kind of get into his whiteness today.
Yeah, it's not hard. It's not hard to get him in there.
He's a New Englander, dude. You know what I mean? He is. Three-quarter zip, golf glove.
And Durbin's fucking country clubs right across from like a horse... like an equestrian fucking thing. So there's horses outside and it was very white. It was a very white thing.
You got to join the equestrian club and just menace him on the horse while he golfs.
Yeah.
Just putting it to get your shirt off and just be like, Kirby, don't miss.
Yeah. Watching Kirby's be actually good at golf. Piss me off, dude.
You get, if you just got the gallop by him on a fence, like, Ooh,
Move, peasant. I like to make fun of those country clubs, the poor country club. He's like, do you want to go to my course or the other course? I'm like, I would never go to your course, dude. It's for poor people.
See, it's actually pretty nice.
it's so yeah but it's so funny to tell someone they belong to a poor country club so bad it's like oh that one has kind of a poor country club yeah it's a poor people country club he's like it's the only one that let jews in for a while oh that's so that's great yeah it's yeah man well fuck yeah dude Yeah, I'm excited. I'm truly excited to get back down there.
Yeah, dude, enjoy the holidays, and I'll be excited to have my fucking... I'm back to doing nothing.
Like, we finished... Yesterday was the first day without doing tires. And it was like... Killed. Yeah, I just woke up. I jacked off. My girlfriend wasn't here. Just jacked off.
You needed that, dude. You needed a moment. It was great.
I haven't been able to treat myself in so long. I'm so fucking sick, dude.
It's crazy when you take time off and you blow your mind. You're like, dude. You're like, yo, porn rules.
I haven't seen it in so long. Porn's so good, dude.
if you take time off it for real like blows you get like 7th grade brain on porn if you like just really take time off you're like oh shit I think that lady's having an orgasm yeah it's pretty cool so I got that going for me nice man other than that dude the big deal for me is Friday heading out to Notre Dame dude it's gonna be sick and I'll have a guest with me
That'll be awesome. I'm excited.
I'll be there.
We have a good squad going.
I know. I think I'll be there at 4P.
Okay, sick. I might already be over there. Sick. Yeah, I'm excited about it. I can't wait. Notre Dame better not fucking lose to Indiana, dude.
Either way, I'm going to have my long undies on because it's going to be 17 degrees. It's going to be so cold. Definitely long undies. I'm excited, bro. I can't wait. It'll be fun.
It is going to be really cool. And then the problem is if they win, that means, I mean, I got to go to the Sugar Bowl, dude. You'd have to. If they win, I got to head down to New Orleans to watch them take on the Bulldogs.
You'd have to. That would be actually sick as fuck.
Georgia Bulldogs? Yeah. If they win, you might be good luck. You might be spending New Year's Day in NOLA.
true um all right i'll let you go all right bro good talking to you man i'm gonna go get some dinner and uh dude it was great talking to you and i'll have back my you know i'll be able to stop meeting people which you know not my favorite thing to do in the world i've had to meet people all month not the best of that but uh 2025 we're back it's just fucking didn't we put out like a best of
You pieces of shit.
We're good. We're covered. We're good until the new year, dude. Then we'll just fucking rip.
Yeah, I'm super excited to get back to work with you in a professional manner.
Exactly. That's all I think about now. Let's just put out the best of again for this year, like the old one.
Yeah, put out – well, I don't know. Second edition.
We should.
Back then might not be – they might not hold up. True, true, true, true, true. No, I'm glad to hear Lemaire's doing well. Gardini's in a diaper. Nate's doing well. Yep. Everybody's doing good. Yeah, Gardini's – his hiney's messed up, but I think he'll get through it, so. It's good he took care of it. I would have ignored whatever that problem was. Dude. He got a cyst on his ass?
It's something like that, yeah. It's something bad. Lemaire just had one of those. I had two. I've had them before, too. Everyone's getting cysts. I didn't have one for a while. I've cleaned up my ass.
Lemaire's burst into fucking urgent care, and he said it smelled.
Yeah, it's a wake-up call. If you and Lemaire's assholes are up to the same thing, you've got to start switching it up. You've got to figure something out.
All right, bro. I'll see you, bro. Thank you, PrizePix. PrizePix, thank you. Later, bro. Goodbye. Let's get back to stoner dance.
You're not actually supposed to use ice on injuries. Who said that? The guy that came up with the ice injury theory, it was like rest, ice, or ICE, whatever. He recently came out and was like, I was wrong about that. What? The inflammation that you get when you get an injury is actually your body. The platelets are rushing to heal that injury. You need that. You slow them down. Yeah.
You shouldn't be icing. People were like, fuck that dog. We're icing. We've been doing this, and it works. He's like, all right, never mind. Never mind. Just ice a little, I guess. Really?
Oh.
But then if the ice... Is heat good then? If ice is bad? Heat and movement. You're supposed to heal things with like warmth because that helps the blood rush and then movement of the thing so that it doesn't get stagnant in like atrophy or whatever else happens to muscles. I can't wait to tell my wife that. My wife's a big icier. I can't wait to tell her that.
And then if neither... You're killing our children. It is in their brain. It is in people. Like people, when you tell them that, they're like, that's retarded. What you're saying is retarded. It's like... The same guy that told you to ice is saying he got it wrong.
Yeah, he was wrong.
Yeah.
Fuck. Damn. I wonder if the hot shooter was trying ice, and that's why his back wasn't getting better. He was slowing down his platelets and had to shoot a guy about it.
Yeah, I don't know how I feel about it. Everyone is celebrating. I mean, I'm like, I get that. But I'm like, is that ultimately the best move to be like, yeah, dude. Yeah.
Prop some shooters up. I didn't know much about the shooter at all. I kind of fixated on the fact that he got away on a city bike.
Really?
Yeah, that was the thing. And I was like, damn, city bikes should use that in their advertising. That is, dude, he got, like, it was a citywide manhunt for this guy.
How did he do that without putting his credit card in? I thought that'd be, like, the most traceable. Like, if you took a lime scooter away, they'd be like, yeah, there it is.
I feel like if the urban kids figured it out. Yeah. They're able to hack the system. I feel like if you shot a guy and you're trying to flee for your life.
You think he was also wheeling against traffic the whole way?
He was, like, riding a city bike with no hands the whole time. Just throwing off the trail. Yeah.
Giant speaker in the basket.
Yeah, the city bike getaway is pretty crazy. Yeah. But I think he's probably not the first guy to get away from a crime like you were saying on the city bike. But I wonder how people hack those. That's kind of nuts. People can hack lime scooters, too. You can hack a lime scooter and do burnouts on it.
That's cool knowledge. What do you need? You probably need, like, a Flipper Zero or something for that. I want a Flipper Zero so bad. What is that? It's, like, a little hacking device. You want a Flipper Zero?
Oh, man, it's a little, like, hacking device, and it, like, it can connect to, like, Bluetooth and, like, Wi-Fi and, like, a bunch of other, like, near-field protocols and shit, and you can, like, reprogram. You can, like, take a hotel key and, like, duplicate it. What? Is that how people break into cars?
It has a physical key thing where you lay a physical key over it and then you can match up the notches on the little interface on the device and then take that and get a key printed to replicate. Yeah, dude, I want to commit some felonies. That'd be cool. I want to do some high-level crimes.
I would like going into other people's hotel rooms.
Yeah, that would be great. Number one, traveling with your boys. Be so tight. And really fucking with them. It's petty theft. Yeah, dude, you could go crazy. Oh, my God. Imagine pulling off a kidnapping prank on your boy in a hotel. That would be so sick. Or just an ultimate scare prank. Would you go supernatural? Jump on him. In bed, while they're asleep. I'll jump on him.
Jump on your friends screaming at the top of his lungs in pitch black.
It would be a J.K.S.A.
Come here, boy. Give me that motherfucking ass. Let me get that ass real quick.
Just choke him. Let him pass out when I wake up. Just fucking kidding, dude.
I didn't fuck your ass.
Yeah, you're passing out, but I didn't fuck you.
fucking jerk you i jerked you a little bit just to make it believable stop crying though yeah that would be terrifying i'm like always ready for that to happen in a hotel room get jerked a little no i'm already i'm trust me i'm taking care of that but i'm covering my bases with that but that's your right whistle you're already pre-jerked so no one's getting me up dude i've depleted myself but the uh
Yeah, like, I just hear, like, doors slam, and I always assume it's mine. I'm always like, ugh. Yeah. I'm, like, ready for someone to try to bum rush me. Do you ever have, like, the staff knock on your door? Is that what bum rushing is? Like, getting your butt rushed? Bum? I don't know. That's a good question. Or maybe bums of the old, you know, bums of the old times just rushing you. Like, argh.
Yeah, I think bums used to, like, World War Z people and just throw their bodies at an obstacle.
I wonder, what is a bum rush? Now I'm curious. If it is, like, getting your bum rushed, I feel like that is the most dominant fear as a man, like having anything penetrate your butt unconsensually.
For sure. I think it's a, even consensually is a big fear among men. But the, I think the, it's got to be a military term, if I had to guess.
Okay, like B.U.M.? Like an acronym or something?
Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Okay. I want to show them what the fuck is coming down here. What's it mean?
Bum is slang for trim.
Yeah, it's a hobo.
It's probably in your book. A bum Russian. It started in the 1920s.
That was the Jack Black book, were bums. I didn't talk about bum Russian. But they used to do a thing where they would take migrant farmers, they would, like, catch guys coming off of a... Like, getting onto a railroad from, like, working in, like, Utah for a summer farming, and then you'd have all your wages for the entire season.
And they'd have, like, homeless... They were called, like, the hobos, or, like, the tramps. They called them yeg men back then. Yeah. Which was because the Chinese people, when they saw homeless guys, would call them yek. They'd go...
Yeah, man. Yeah, man.
And then, for real, you go to the Chinese people and they kind of have some food and they're like, yeah, man.
Yeah.
But they, you know, whatever. But they would, like, catch people who worked. Imagine working for a whole summer, having all your money from that summer, and then a guy just coming into your, like, train cart being like, give me your fucking dough.
I think that was all travel. It was just, like, eventually you were outside of anyone paying attention and you had to worry about the highwaymen. Exactly.
And well, the railroad guys would be in on it, too, because they would team up with the bombs. The bomb would be like, show me, give me, let me in the room and I'll split it with you. And then they would take all your money and just like you're like an immigrant farmhand. They would just kick you off the next stop and you just end up in North Dakota with no money. You're stuck.
Back then you were like there was no start walking. So go on me. That's just where you live from then on. And you had to just like pray to God that you didn't die.
But, you know, you know, like the the the Chinese, um, they go knee guy. No, I didn't know that. You didn't know about that? Yeah, so there you go. That's their um? Their um is ni ga. So I'm wondering if that phrase came from Chinese people just being confused about black people. And they just kept saying ni ga. What is it?
That's crazy. I didn't know that. I knew they had a word that was close.
Yeah, it's their filler word. When they're like, you know, they're trying to figure out, I need God, need God, need God.
And then they, when they finally get their word. Three times, the genie Shaq.
Shaq food, baby.
I love Shaq, bro. Yo, Shaq. I'm happy he's getting paid. Papa John is crazy. Him doing the Papa John. I still can't get over that. Papa John said the N-word. Next thing I know, Shaq just has like a million dollars. Summed him.
That's crazy. Shaq Genie.
Yeah. What about what about the subway choking guy? What do you think of that case? The subway choking guy got.
I don't know the exact detail. So what was he just. So I saw the Black Lives Matter guy being like he was that clip. I will say it's very sad, but he was like, they're going to choke us for being loud.
Yeah, that's the best verbiage, brother. I mean, bold words as the movie theater industry dies around. Yeah, we need to do something about it.
That was kind of great. I was like, come on, man.
Anything else. Politely turning is good. That's not working. Yeah, dude, but I don't know. What was the details? Was he threatening somebody?
I think he got on the train. He said, I'm ready. Everyone's been on the public transportation with a guy that says, I'm ready to die today. And I think he made the threats to everybody. He identified himself as an immediate threat. Damn. And then the Giga Chad jumped on his back and held him. I don't know if he ever actually choked him out. I think he just held him there for a long time. What?
And the struggle sort of... It's like a white belt fucking spaz.
Yeah.
Hold on. So the guy died in a wrestling match?
I mean, right after it.
From what, though? I don't understand. Embarrassment from getting choked by a white guy? I don't think he got choked.
Well, depending on who you ask on Twitter, it was either a combination of drugs and hard living, or it was the guy strangleholding him for six minutes.
So he was trying to hold on.
He had the rear naked choke. Not fully sunk. Dude, here's my thing.
If you're going to go nuts on the subway, you've got to be rassle ready. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like, you know, I don't know. He didn't shoot the guy. He rassled him. Right. So it's like, that is not great. But it's also like, dude, here's my thing. If there's a homeless white guy who's being a dickhead on the subway and someone rassled him and he died. I wouldn't even blink.
I'd be like, all right, fucking later, dude.
Yeah, some of them go that way.
You weren't rass already. Some of them do go that way.
Did you see the detail that when, I guess, the cops or the EMTs got there, he was still alive, but they didn't want to do CPR because he was yucky. What? Yeah. Yeah, the EMT showed up and got the ick, and they were kind of just like, you know. Hang out here. Let's just bang on his chest a little bit. My thing is all right. Wake up. Come on, man. Wake up. Come on. It's okay. You're okay.
You're okay.
He was already gone. He's already gone. Yeah. Like, there's a small percentage of the black community that if they lose a fight to a white person, they die. It's over. Yeah, they just can't live anymore. They disappear like Obi-Wan.
Yeah, it's just, they disintegrate and, like, blow into the... Yeah, I mean, again, I don't really see... For me, it's like... I don't know, man. He was popping off. Yeah. He was popping off and he got rassled.
He played the game.
He played the game. He got rassled. It's a dangerous game. I mean, if he was like fucking physically choking the guy out, I don't know. Here's the thing. If a guy's going on like threatening women, what was the threat? That's a detail.
I think it was like, I need resources and I'm ready to kill and die for them, essentially. I'm paraphrasing.
I need fresh water and food, bitches.
It was like, I'm starving and I need money and I'll do anything for it and I'm ready to die and I'm ready to kill or something like that. Okay. That was his terms.
He was playing a game of life and death. That's rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Throw your head. It is so funny for a guy to be like, yeah, all right, I'm going to fucking choke this guy out. But he might have been getting in people's faces. My thing is, say he did swing and punch a lady in the face. If it was building up to that. Yeah. There was an old Asian lady that was only a matter of time.
You're saying he was stopping Asian hate and he's a hero.
It is funny too to think that if you have some sort of martial arts training, there is something in the back of your mind where you constantly want to use it for good. But then you're also judging the situation where you see somebody aggressing and you're like, okay, but not that guy. He's big. You know, and then it's not even worth it. Yeah.
He finally met like the situation and the guy he'd be willing to fight, like sneak up on behind. And it all came. But that's like, yeah, it's one of the odds.
I think that's a it's a problem. But it's like to build that into like a social injustice. I'm like, nah, man, that's a fucking crazy homeless guy who got wrestled.
Yeah.
On the train. He died. That's not like a systemic... I mean, again, the guy... I think that's where the public is going to go with it, too. Yeah, I don't think... Nobody really... The guy got off.
Yeah, Your Honor, I'd like to plead fuck around and find out. He fucked around. Yeah, he did.
He fucked around.
And he found out. Those were his terms.
I am willing to die over resources. You know what's going to be crazy, though, is that he's going to get a, like, influencer boxing offer.
You think so?
He's going to get, like, $10 million to box, like, a canceled, like, kick streamer. You think so? Like PewDiePie or something.
I'm in for it. I saw a post recently that was like their shooters and it was Kyle Rittenhouse and they're like our shooters and it was like ripped insurance guy.
Luigi. That's the most suspicious. There's no way there's a guy, a 30-year-old guy named Luigi.
Yeah. That's so sus. True. That is kind of weird. I did see a lot of the Italians should be ashamed of themselves. I saw a lot of my Italian compatriots being like, we're back, baby. It's like, don't. We up. That's disgusting. Don't put that on the pedestal.
You don't think?
There's not a part of you that's like, yeah, let's go. Yeah. I mean, it's cool, but it's like, I don't know. I don't know anything about that guy, the CEO of healthcare. Insurance companies are fucking brutal, but I don't know enough about that guy to be
I think he was probably responsible for or again, I'm just reading tweets. I think he was responsible for like an automated claim denial system that really started racking up the screws to people. Yeah, that's terrible. And then there was also I think I don't I don't sympathize.
I don't empathize with the guy at all. I get it. I do get it. But I'm going, damn, dude, if a bunch of people start CEO spazzing. That's fucking... What would that look like? Let us replace him with other CEOs. And all those guys who are shooting people... It's going to be the worst job in the world.
You're going to be forcing people in the corner offices, and they're going to be, like, grabbing onto the walls. No one's going to want to be a CEO. Take the fucking stock option.
You can't do this to me.
I have a family. Here's my problem with it. All those dudes would love to also be a CEO who are shooting CEOs. They're like, yo, dude, we're going to put you corner office a million dollars a year. They're going to be like, well, yeah, sweet.
Yeah, they are. That is take charge attitude. Like shooting somebody.
It's like the hacker that gets hired by the FBI. It's like, we like what you got. You're just sitting in a corner office with a gun every day waiting for your match.
Well, it's going to be CEO. There's going to be so much security now. Like, schools need people with guns, CEOs, you know. Yeah, my school just had a lockdown. He was lacking. Yeah. Lacking like a moth.
But these are also the pull yourselves up by the bootstraps people. Like, lacking is your responsibility.
Dude, I couldn't agree more. You can't be fucking lacking.
Don't let me catch you lacking.
Every time I take my trash out, I'm not packing, but I'm walking around just being like, I'm always ready for the bum rush. It's just unfortunate reality, but I am for real. Anytime I take the trash out at night, I'm like... What? You're saying couldn't be me? Couldn't be, bro.
Never me. Must it be me?
I still like when I open the door, I kind of will peek. That's how you get someone. You open the door. Wow.
Yeah.
Kind of like look out. See who it is. I'm not. It can't be me.
Not like that.
I mean, I could get got. Anyone can get got. But I'm really trying not to get got like that. Roger kids school get locked down.
Somebody wrote a note on a gym locker stall that they're going to shoot the school up, and they wrote it was like a day, and then that day was crossed out, and then next to it was the next day. Oh, shit.
A little rain date.
Yeah. Actually, I got a lot going on that day.
I'm going to come back on a Wednesday and shoot the school. I got a doctor's appointment I can't miss. I'm supposed to get a lollipop.
A new Fortnite battle pass drops that day, so I'm going to give myself 24 hours with that.
Yeah.
So there was a frill that was, was that the first time you guys ever had like a school shooter? Yeah. Yeah. It was a big lockdown and they wouldn't let the kids leave their classrooms. And some of the kids were pissing their pants because they wouldn't let them go to the bathroom. My son's classroom figured out that they would put a trash can in the closet and he just pissed in the trash can.
And my son was so pumped that he got the piss.
How long was this lockdown? Like three days?
No, it was like a whole school day. I'm kind of jealous.
I'm kind of jealous that like the kids of today get to do like lockdown tough in front of the girls. I would wish I had that opportunity to be like, yeah, let that motherfucker come in here, bro. Yeah. I got you.
Don't worry. You're sharpening the metal edge on your ruler.
Yeah. My son and my son's classroom, they barricaded the door and like some of the boys picked up weapons and they were like waiting for, they were like wishing the motherfucker would.
I was born in the wrong era, dude. Yeah. That'd have been so sick. He's rallying the bros. He's like, bro, I'm going to fuck this guy up so bad. You got them all hockey-ing in the room waiting for the door to open. Kiss your cross. Just be like, give me a kiss before I go out to battle, babe. I'm going to go take a shit.
I'm going to go take the handle off the broom and break it in half. I was kind of born for this. You might not be able to tell by looking at me, but my dad's black. You wouldn't know if you're talking to me, but believe it or not. But there was no suspect or anything? They got one. They got a suspect. It was in the girls' locker room, so it was a chick. It was a chick spaz now.
Nerds now are like Middle Eastern guys after 9-11. You know what I mean?
Those guys would fly everywhere.
What the fuck? There's a note like that. Everyone's looking at every nerd. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you have a bad day, dude? Yeah. Are you going to fess up to what you did?
Yeah, you got an anime Trapper Keeper? We got to watch this guy.
Are kids getting bullied like that anymore? Or is this just like pure nerd rage? Yeah, I think it's just rage.
It's a move.
It's a vibe. Yeah, bullying. It's a vibe. It's just a vibe now. I just felt it. It's a vibe someone gets on. Yeah, this is a viable thing. I can just be the school. There's goths. There's bullies. There's school shooter guys. I'm just going to fucking wild out.
Yeah.
It's a parent's fault. It's your fucking parent's fault. There's no way, dude. If your kids are like, I'm going to fucking shoot this motherfucker up. It's purely the parents.
It's shooting up a school.
Yeah, my parents said I can't shoot up a school. Listen to a One Direction album backwards. It's like, do it. Gun loose. It's so annoying. Hopefully this fad dies. Yeah. Has it been one in a while? We're definitely in a slow season, I think. It's been chill or they're just not reporting them. I think they get reported every time.
It's a heavily reported thing.
It might be overly reported.
It's like the main driver of pharmaceutical advertising sales. They kind of are hoping for one. It could be a closed loop system.
It could be a closed loop system. I don't know because I think there's... The last time I followed it, I got kind of numb to the school shootings. But then I saw there was a lot of, like, involvement from a community. And people would hesitate. The last, like, two, I think, have been Trans Am. So then they took on a thing, and everyone was like, I don't want to talk about this anymore.
That was just my, look, I might put a value judgment on it, but I did hear that was going on. And people started being like, let's not talk. This is just uncomfortable.
Probably a lot of overlap in the pool. You know, the path of the school shooter and the path of the... early droon you know what i mean the young uh
No, please. Go on, my brother. Please elaborate on this. It's all just autistic kids.
Yeah, I think so. I think it's deep autism.
Yeah. They had My Little Pony for a while. That was an option. Can we cure that part of autism? There's got to be a way. You just give them enough Sonic the Hedgehog that they don't hurt anybody. We've got to drop the new Sonic.
We've got to drop the new Sonic, dude. For peace. We should just totally state fund the Sonic franchise. If we could put Sonic in a pill and give it to them every day. Otherwise they'd turn pure robotics.
Sonic in a pill.
Dude, Sonic is so unbearable to watch, except for people who have autism. It's crazy. You can't pay me enough to watch Sonic, dude. I'm like, I have nothing to do with the movie. I don't know if they think it's good, but it gets them very horny.
There's like a pretty, I don't know what the percentage of the population is, but there's kids, but there's no more compelling thought than Sonic the Hedgehog being pregnant. Holy shit. Their eyes will just glass over for like significant chunks of the day. They're just like, what if Tails got Sonic pregnant? That would be pretty cool. Yeah, I guess I could doodle that. Sonic's a boy.
I know, that's what makes it so interesting.
Yeah. I was laughing. I was driving, I think, last night thinking about this, how, like, you know, it takes thousands of years for people to organize themselves, like, with the ability to, like, gather enough resources so they can, like, philosophize and get abstract. Word.
We've gone through, like, the Greek society got themselves, the Romans, and we have, America did that in, like, a pretty short period of time. And it's funny, we're just sitting around us being like, what if I chomped off my penis? What if Sonic was pregnant? It's wasted. Just like so many battles and hardships.
Yeah. So you think the trans community are just modern day philosophers?
I mean, it's a part of a thriving and robust society. They're a symptom of it. It's not even just them. There's like philosophers of gender studies and there's, you know, there's like other philosophers.
They're like the aesthetics. They're like actually doing it. They're like in the cave meditating, chopping off their penis.
yeah yeah that's like a big thing it's like a it's just like we you know we like handled matter in ancient greek time and now we're up to like what to do with our dicks and pussies like what should we really do with what's the next tip you're always on the next tip what's after this What's after? What to do with our dicks and pussies? I don't know. Or is that it? That's it. We're in the endgame.
No, never on the final frontier. Or do you have to start worrying about what I should worry about, what you should do with your dick and pussy? We're moving through that right now.
Next is going to be our brains, by the way. Could be. If Neuralink takes off or whatever competes with Neuralink, we're going to forget about dicks and pussies for a while and be like, what do we do with our brains? Be big on our brains. Actually, the dick and pussy are just going to be getting in the way of having direct access to the chemicals in your brain.
That'll be like the static on your satellite dish when you're getting boner. You'll be like, God damn it, I can't fucking remember everything. Fuck, turn it off.
Shut it off. Just fuck it up by neural link.
You just get snow. It's like... You're just reciting like every single king of every European country and you're like... Fuck! Hard as hell again.
That's going to be crazy. Giving over your entire nervous system to the cloud just so you could have access to Wikipedia in your mind.
Very tight. It's going to be really fucked up. It will be fucked up. Yeah, I think because it'll never stop because every new invention changes the world a little bit so that you then have a new conception of the world, which leads to new inventions, which new conception. It's a spiral.
Yeah.
It's a twin helix.
Then like genetic modification so that your babies can just come out the man.
I don't know, dude. I think I think people are going to get I think it's already happening where people are getting real into like pseudo farm life.
people are going to probably dial it down but the new generation is going to get into like a lot of homesteaders on youtube yeah it's going to be that for a while but with the neural link i don't know how to grow my crowd i don't know i honestly don't know i think we'll get we will get over like the whole kind of like the argument's not even so much like the physical chopping off your penises and stuff it's like does your penis actually define you as like an identity that's the question it's a deep philosophical question you know i would say my personality is much bigger than my penis
Don't sell yourself short.
No, but that's the question of our time. It's one of them. Does your genitalia actually have... Is there a reality that the type of genitalia you have dictates the way you'll be in some sense? Or is it totally a blank slate?
Yeah, I think we're, like, to take a step back, it's, like, the way you need to come, like, dictate that more, you know? And we just have to be open.
Are you talking about, like, reverse cowgirl?
Yeah, it's, like, however, like, whatever way. Getting blown from behind? Getting sucked through the back? Sucked through the back and cummed? Yeah, like, maybe P. Diddy is a victim. Maybe he just achieved so much status that he could start exploring all the different ways he needed to come.
Victim of his own success, you're saying?
For sure. Maybe of society's constraints. Maybe he's not gay. Maybe he got to the point where it's like, I need to come right now. There are no women in the room.
There is a wormhole. There's a quick... If you're getting that much pussy as he was probably getting, you can easily hit a wormhole and go full gay. I agree that it isn't his fault in that regard. If you have your fourth... I mean, what's the most- That's Nirvana.
That's Nirvana for ultimate pussy guys. You reach the final and you go, it was gay the whole time. Yeah, it was just all gay. You transcend body and soul.
It probably doesn't even feel gay. Huh? It doesn't even feel gay. It's just like a convenient. You're like hanging out with your boys. Yeah. And you need to come and you don't want to stop hanging out with your boys.
Yeah, true. So you slip them a little.
Yeah, just like, no.
Sign them and do it later.
Pause the PlayStation real quick.
We got a 69.
Because that was like the Cool Boarders era, too.
Just pausing Cool Boarders at 69. With like a dude in the baggiest pants.
I don't know, Puff. I'm about to hit the 1080. Yeah, that's a fair point. It's like, you know, but again, there was all the deception, you know, with like the drugging potentially.
I don't know. Yeah, but even that probably gets to a point where it's like, Tom, consent's getting boring. For P. Diddy, obviously. For P. Diddy. Dude, we're philosophizing. Yeah, it's not me. I love consent. Consent's my favorite thing. I do. I'm not at the P. Diddy level and I probably never will be. So I'll never be able to like figure out whether or not like consent could get boring.
But like P Diddy, everybody wanted to fuck him. He was having no problem fucking anybody he wanted to fuck. For sure. And he was like, this sucks. Yeah. I need, I need to, I need excitement. I need excitement back. You need a challenge.
Yeah. Maybe he was waiting for someone to say no. I think a lot of these people, he pressured them to go along with it, but I don't think any of them were just like, I'm not really into it, man. Like full stop? Yeah, I think he was thinking eventually someone was going to say.
What wasn't invented at that time was period. So you remember like period. So it wasn't like full stop. Yes, exactly. Full stop. We didn't have that yet. That technology wasn't invented. We didn't talk to the hand. No one talked to the hand. That was just to slow somebody down. Yeah, yeah. You can move right.
You're just buying time.
That's a yellow light. Talk to the hand. What's a yellow light? Yeah, it's a yellow light. And then you can be like, as if.
As if. As if. As if. As if.
In your dreams.
We didn't know how to say no back then. It didn't exist. Dude, the word the, you know the word the is unique to, I think, Western languages. Not all. I think there might be some other cultures that have the word the or some equivalent to it. But there's a lot of other cultures that don't have the.
And the word the allows you to bring other verbs and adjectives into a noun state and abstract things that other cultures can't do. You're making me furious right now.
No, no, think about that.
I refuse to think about that. Good is an adjective, but you can say the good, and it turns into like a noun that you can kind of abstract and kind of think like, what is the good? What is good actually? I thought it was kind of sick. So Eastern languages don't have the? Some, I don't think some do.
Yeah, like Asian languages. They had what, 10,000 years of spoken language to figure it out, and they forgot the? They forgot the and forks?
They didn't know it. It just wasn't there. Just like we just learned no, for real, in 2020. We didn't know what it was. But yeah, dude, they don't have the. That fucking freaked me out. Native Americans were like all verbs.
I like that.
I kind of like that. I don't know. How sick is the though, dude? How sick is the? That's pretty sick. I was just bugging out on that the other day.
I was like, damn. It's a very high thought to see if in your mind you could define the word the. That's what I'm saying, dude.
It's like I. I is like crazy. That's me.
No, that's me. Some coaches don't use I. Yeah, some African tribal cultures, they don't have ownership of things because it's all a community-based culture. So they don't have an I. So they speak in things where it's like, like you said, they don't have the either, but they speak in things almost as if it is the because it's like a community thing.
Yeah, but that's different. That's a collective. The is just like that thing. That thing over there. What about dat? Dat right there? What about dat?
I ain't having that.
Damn. Bring that ass over here. What the hell are you talking about? Was that the first no he just did? Yeah.
No.
It is. So it is suck. Like it sucks because you're are like, you know, we're all organisms seeking pleasure. And it does like to have that like, no, you have to just be like, you're going to stop your whole horny body and be like, fine.
It's actually knows violence against men.
Curse you and your evil smells. What is the no even anyway? Let's bring this into the abstract realm.
This no you speak of, what is it? Jesus Christ. God damn it, dude. All right. Well, I think we did it. Where are we at here? About, oh, only 50. What are we at here? We got plenty of time.
An hour and a half.
Oh, an hour and a half. I'm looking at that video going, what the hell? That's been definitely an hour. I could feel it in my bones. Feel it in my motherfucking bones. What do you guys have? Anything burning on your minds you want to talk about?
Did you? No. I just have a bunch of dumb shit I've been scrolling past in my head.
Yeah. It's not important. Only the most retarded stuff.
Well, I'd like to hear it at least. Did you hear about the teacher that all the kids would be in bed and she said no one can go to the bathroom anymore and all the kids pissed themselves and she got fired? What? Yeah. No? Yeah. I think all the kids were like your girl's age. How bad? What? Like little, little kids? Yeah, it was like that. I told you guys. I told you guys to calm down.
And now no one can go to the bathroom. And now all the kids piss their pants and the teacher got fired. Yeah, of course, dude. A whole class pissing themselves is crazy.
That is crazy. Like after one piss, you'd be like, all right, you guys can go to the bathroom.
Oh, that would suck to be the first piss. Dude, you're all tapping your feet on the floor, not trying to be the first pisser.
Dude, I think I would have jumped on the chance to be the first pisser. That's a green card for pissing your pants.
Yeah.
When you're a little kid, that's like...
Yeah. How old were you? Was it like four or two? Was it? How old were the kids? Like four or two?
I get to piss my pants and my mommy can't get mad at me?
Yeah. Also, little kids, if you're like, you got to piss your pants, it's not that off the table.
I know a kid in second grade that pissed his pants in school and he had to change schools.
yeah that second grade is crazy but if you're talking like four or two year old four is a little much but two two year olds will piss don't give a fuck dude yeah i know they're on their like chloe's on her potty uh potty training right now but like if i were to be like i'm gonna wait till you pee your pants she'd be like all right pussy you just pee your pants bet fuck you change them bitch dude having to change all those kids at once must have sucked
What would you rather do, change 18 kids' peed pants or have 100 guys have sex with you? He had piss in his eyes? He was crazy. That's a lot of piss. That's more piss than a hundred cums.
Oh, the smell. A hundred cums or a hundred pisses smell. It'd be like 18 pisses. 18 pisses or a hundred cums. That's a dank smell. It's dense.
It's very dense. It's like a medieval tavern.
The combination of both. That's a medieval tavern. 18 pincers and 100 cums. Oh, man. 100 cums is crazy.
There were no 100 cums in medieval times. That was one. You don't think so?
100 cums? Yeah. The entire village had to split that in a year.
They'd have to burn the village down.
Yeah.
That was like, you get like two. Throw torches on your thatched roofs. Yeah, you'd be out by yourself. Dude, if you had a medieval guy smell 100 combs, they would like fall to their knees. And be like, my God.
Now, everything smelled back then.
True, everything did smell.
They might not even notice 100 combs. True. It might not have. The tannery on the edge of the village fucking reeks.
Do you think medieval people smelled their cum? Like they would bust a load and be like... Taste it. Yeah. My God. Because it probably wasn't gay in medieval times to taste your cum.
Yeah, but I mean, probably you had to get through the winter. Yeah. You had to ingest a little bit of it.
Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Like there wasn't like a thing being like, that's when guys suck each other. They didn't know about that. So they're probably like...
Big time. Do you think they called each other gay back then or is that off limits?
I don't think you could. I mean, I think that was like crazy.
Bro, you're making some pretty serious accusations right now. Yeah. I'm actually going to run this pitchfork through your body if you say that again. I don't know what you're doing with your voice and smiling right now. They didn't know laughing at all.
That'd be such a sick use of a time machine to travel through time and call people gay and just see how they react and take notes.
Walk like a gay ass woman.
Then be like, excuse me? And you'd have to explain, like, no, I think I'm accusing you of having sex with another man. Like, it would freak them out. They couldn't even conceptualize it. Just hit him with a 69.
The crops weren't stable enough to ponder gay.
They're still eating rabbits and shit. Dude, that'd be so funny. That'd be pretty wild. There's that guy, I can't stop watching his videos on YouTube, where he has a convenience store on the south side of Chicago, and he does gay. He, like, calls, like, he'll, like, just do, like, gay. He'll insinuate that black dudes are gay, and dude...
hand them a pink lighter it's a full medieval spaz I can't stop talking about this one of those convenience stores a guy was doing that and somebody left got in their truck and drove into that convenience store really yeah it happened just recently yeah he's playing he's playing too much yeah he was playing way too much that's my thing it's like oh this is injustice it's like yeah bro you're fucking around I got your ass yeah yeah he found out he fucked around he found out yeah but now what do you think that was like real you think that was staged the the truck
Yeah, they could have been like, let's get the numbers, dude. You get the insurance claim. Someone's going to jail for that. You hit the fucking. Yeah. You run into the motherfucking snacks.
You crunch all the snacks, you jerk.
Yeah. You can't crunch snacks.
Not from the community. You fuck up the snacks.
That's going to be a big thing, though, of convenience stores. It is a funny idea. Because the convenience stores is like, you know, a convenience store in the hood, you're making what? Like maybe a thousand bucks a day? I knew someone who ran a convenience store in like, I don't know, wherever the fuck it was, like, like Oak Lane somewhere.
They were like breaking down like the numbers of the convenience store. It wasn't crazy. They were like, you make a living, but like you can make way more. My whole point is you can make way more doing the streams. So if you're using the convenience store just for the streams, you probably can make way more.
You ever watch like the YouTube guys that run laundromats? They make that look pretty attractive.
no how that how what do they do with that they just go they go around they collect all their quarters and shit they go here's how much money i made and they count a bunch of money and they go all right man thanks for checking out the video see you guys next time yeah they break down like the economics of having a laundromat and all their locations are vending machine guys watch those what's the numbers what are they how much are you pulling in from the laundromat uh i don't know like i think i've seen people where they were like i made three thousand dollars this month that's passive income you know what i mean but then i think they probably do better from being a content creator
Yeah, true. But it's also, but they're coin rich, which is sick. That is cool. Being coin rich is nice.
It's like Scrooge McDuck. Yeah.
Scrooge McDuck. Always want to see that. Being coin rich is actually kind of nice, so. Just to hear it, ch-ch-ch-ch. You don't even have a money counter. You just have like a coin, one of those coin counters, a coin star in your house.
That would be a great sound to have in the background. Did you ever hit the penny arcade? Or like the coin star? The coin star? Yeah. I lived on the coin star for a stretch there. That shit rules, dude. Yeah, you ever get $40 from a coin star and be like, oh, thank God. Yeah, it's awesome.
It's saving your change.
There's no better feeling. When that receipt prints out and your checking account is overdrawn, that's like, that is, it's Indiana Jones grabbing the hat under the door. Good news. I can get home from work today.
Yeah, I did. I didn't like the grocery store ones because they did take their cut. I'd always be like, yeah, motherfuckers. But TD Bank had Penny Arcade that was free if you had a TD Bank account.
OK, yeah, I remember that. That was and then you could guess you could guess your total. I want a lollipop one time.
Did you really? Hell yeah. One time I got close enough where they gave me a hat or some bullshit. Damn.
That's my day. I might have counted it beforehand, too. I might have cheated. Can you edit that out? Don't let them know that I cheated. That puts me in a really negative light.
I kind of lumped my quarters up in a way to give me an educated guess. Dude, what are we, fucking psychic? How the hell are we going to know how many coins we have?
As long as you know in your heart that you didn't count every single one.
Also, you know what's sick? Saving ones. Save all your ones. And after like a month, dude, you're like, holy fuck, dude.
Dude, I keep a pocket full of change. Do you really? I love having change on me. I don't know what it is. Really? Yeah. I'm jealous. You like to jangle? Yeah. I like being able to pay for things in exact amounts.
Yeah.
That's so good. But I never use currency anymore.
I'm always using my phone. I was always jealous of those guys. Could be like, here, I'm going to give you this. Give me back the whole dollar. And I'd always be like, how did you fucking do that, Matthew? That fast? That's crazy. That's a baller move. I was always like, yeah, you win. Here's your dollar. I don't know how this works. I don't even know if I gave you the right change.
But yeah, here you go.
That's how much change I have on me right now.
What are you working with? Where'd you get that change from? Did you fly with that change, or did you break a bill?
No, hold on. I thought you just broke the bill. I'm going to show you guys both, and then you're going to estimate. Let me make sure I have all the change. Wait, you flew with that change? I flew with that change. Dude, come on, man. That's crazy, dude. Mile High Club, dog. You ready? You ready?
Let's get that change.
That's your peak?
$1.75.
Oh, shit.
I just saw a second little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You saw it a second time too, right?
$2.25.
$2.25? I'm going to go with one cent.
$2.25.
$2.25? Let's go with two. 275. Oh, damn it.
Yeah, I got that second look. I said that's about $2. That's in the $2 range. That was all quarters.
Well done, man. You know, hats off to you, man. You won fair and square.
What are you going to do with those? I don't know. I just always have a pocket full of change. Because I never use it anymore. I never... It's a good reason to have it on.
Yeah. Yeah. You see one of those mechanical horses, you're like, I'm feeling like riding today. Yeah. Getting a tiny fire engine at the supermarket.
Got to put you in the elevator.
I'm always ready, though.
Ooh. This is green.
Dude, I can pop in the arcade right now. You'd be trying to find dollars and stuff and trying to make change. No, they don't do coins in the arcade anymore, man. It's a fucking power card.
Please.
I'll get $180 on that thing. Look, I don't care what you say on this podcast. Don't act like I won't ball out on a power car, dude.
You're crazy.
I actually just got balled out on a power card the other day. Okay. No, it was some other type of, like a similar bowling arcade place. And a lot of the machines weren't working. I almost wanted to talk to somebody. Like, dude, what the fuck kind of operation you're running here?
You have to get in someone's face about that.
Yeah, power card is fucking janky as hell.
It's not working on this shit. The stop sign because it's not scanning and you're running it again and again. Exactly, dude. I'm going, are you taking my points right now? Excuse me, I'm trying to play Fruit Ninja. I spent $200 on Fruit Ninja and it's not working.
Well, get someone who can. Try to play four-way ping pong with my four-year-old daughter.
And it's not working. Nothing worse than a fucked up air hockey table. That'll make me... That's depressing. Do you guys care about anything? Yeah. Half the thing's not even blowing air.
Dude, I get pissed when I put the puck down. A dead spot?
Bro, a dead spot in the air hockey table. It's fucked up. Some fucking bullshit, dude. No one cares about anything anymore, man.
Yeah, it is upsetting. No, customer service sucks now. It's crazy. Yeah. It's so fucking bad. Almost everywhere you go. I'm astonished. If someone's like just even mildly pleasant, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. To become a CEO, you want to get shot, dude. Be careful, bro.
Watch out.
Yeah, customer service is taking a hard nosedive.
That's almost more understandable. Like you heard like a cashier got shot. Like, well, you know. They've been acting up? I think they do get shot a lot, actually.
I think those guys actually do get shot a lot.
They do.
By the bad men. Yeah, shooting a cashier is crazy. Yeah, but they be tripping. They sometimes act like you can't shoot them. I think the guys who shoot them come in being like, I'm going to shoot this motherfucker and take all his money. The cashiers do pop off. They pop off too much. I mean, think about it. You are like the power of money just flows through you all day.
Yeah. Did you ever see a phone store guy that they tried to rob and he stabbed one of the kids to death?
What?
Yeah. Okay, everyone else has seen it. These two kids come into a phone store or something, and they try to jump over the counter and grab all the shit, and the guy running the place pulls out a knife and grabs one of the kids, and the other kid runs, and he just starts stabbing him. And the kid just bleeds out on the floor, and he's going... I'm dead. I'm dead. You ever seen that video?
I don't know. I've seen videos like that. It's pretty funny. I saw, I haven't seen a stabbing video. I didn't know it was a phone. Yeah. Or something like that. He died though. Yeah, he definitely died. Yeah, he died. Yeah. And the cashier posted the video himself. Like, you know, they tried it. They found out what was up. Did he get in trouble? I think they tried.
I don't know if he was convicted or anything like that. I mean, did he have that thing? Did he have that thing on him?
I don't know. I think the one that got away did.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think the one that was left.
Yeah, I've seen those videos where they shoot guys that come up behind 7-Eleven. They blast them. It's just 40,000 comments like, that's what you get. Yeah. That's what you get. It's like, yeah, I mean, it's a dangerous game.
You ever see Indian guys defend a 7-Eleven? That's cool. Yeah. That's really nice. There's a really good one where a guy comes up behind the counter, and they just start hitting him with, like, brooms and shit. They're not really doing any damage, but, like, they're definitely getting some Indian aggression out.
Yeah.
Yeah, true. Bitch bastard.
You're hitting with bitch bastard over and over again. He was like going ham. He pulled off.
True. Throw some fucking taquitos at him just scalding hot.
They're pouring molten cheese in his ears.
Like a medieval torture. They should have the cheese barrels just come down. Oh, that would be so sick. Like when castles have tar.
Defend the line. Come out, the hood goes crazy on you, dude. You have to barricade yourself in there. Yeah, if you can't be an armed robber, you get killed. That's live by the sword, die by the sword. Yeah, pretty honorable. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just fucked up, but I don't get riled up. All the stuff people get riled up about online, I just see it and I go, okay.
I'm in the mode. It's all an abstraction. I don't know that guy.
I stay in I mode.
I just watch that shit and I'm like, I don't know.
You shouldn't be having a reaction to it. It's almost like abstract information. It's so far from you. There's almost no way it can impact you. It's none of my business. It's a huge mistake to constantly just be seeing stuff and be like, you know.
It's for real like a mental disease. But then there's like the thing, but then there's the spaz about the reaction because the Black Lives Matter guy was calling for black vigilantes. And then people are like, can you fucking believe this? And it's like, oh, yeah, it's all the same. Shut up. It's people spazzing out. People in bots. You're all dipping in the same punch bowl. Exactly.
So, well, actually, we're upset now. We're deeply offended. And it's like, dude, get the fuck out of here.
Yeah.
Go take a walk. Get a fucking life, dude. Get a fucking life, dude. Get a fucking life. It's not going to, I don't know. It's just that shit fucking bothers me.
Please get a PS5, man. Just get a PS5 and shut the fuck up.
Yeah, do something, man. Just go fucking, I don't know, do something else and read it. I can't believe a lot of it's fake, but I really, I think people are genuinely reading it and like engaging and freaking out and being like, oh, fucking, this is fucking bullshit.
Yeah, it's half people being tricked by the dead internet and the other half is bots, you know? What is the dead internet? I've never really had that explained to me. Was I talking to you or Swim about it? Swim. I think I was talking to Tom about it. It's that internet theory is that like almost everything you see online is not real. It's not real people.
And then when you see real people engaging with it, you kind of look at them and be like, you're being tricked. Do either of you guys go on Facebook still?
No. Every now and again, I don't really post that much. What's popping on Facebook?
I'm mostly on Facebook Marketplace.
Yeah, Facebook Marketplace is kind of nice. Some characters there. Yeah, it's kind of nice. I went off of Facebook for the longest time, and I went back on here and there because people are like, oh, I messaged you on Facebook. And every time I go back on there, I'm like, oh, my God. It feels like a ghost town to me. Yeah.
I like look at it for seeing my boys celebrating wins, and I like those posts. And as soon as I see something complaining, I get right off Facebook.
Yeah. Facebook's crazy. I can't believe it's still going on. There's nothing happening. Yeah, man. It's a dead zone. How's the comedy, Philly Comedy Network on Facebook? Is that still people spazzing out?
No clue.
I haven't checked.
No, there was a... I saw... Because I saw one was... LeMaire's still lording over it. Yeah. Is he really? Is he still hold the reins of that thing? I think so, yeah. He might... There was the dude, the black comic that also used to drive cabs or maybe is a taxi driver. He put something up and people went ham on him. And I was just like, I got it.
Yeah, I'm out of here. I might go back to the Philadelphia Comedy Network and start some sort of multi-level marketing comedy thing. I was like, you guys want a big podcast? You might have to get in line.
Take my lesson.
I have internet lessons and have people sign up and just rip. Dude, I like the Hawk Tua thing, too. The coin?
Yeah, the coin.
Hawk Tua released her own cryptocurrency and then just... She rug pulled them. You think she rug pulled?
I don't think she had any idea what was happening. I think right now, I don't think she's learned a single thing about it. Yeah. She was rug pulled as well? There could have been dudes. No, she benefited from it. Yeah, she probably made money. But there's probably dudes who are like, we're going to set all this up for you. Or it's like... They're doing it to, like, MMA fighters.
It's like a roving horde of, like, tech wiggers in California. Why? What's the draw? To be like, this is a unique coin. It's going to rise. It's like a penny stock, basically. Yeah, they go, look, there's no better way to capitalize on all the recognition that you're getting. It's never been a hotter time for you. What we can do, we're going to build a community.
It's going to be like a financially independent community around your identity. And you can't lose. You know what I mean? And then, like, the first day, the... price shoots up, they rug pull, and then the celebrity is standing there like, what the heck? Thank you for the $15 million, but everyone's really mad at me. Everyone's pissed.
They're the best of people who are like, I lost my life savings in the Hockatoo.
I don't believe that's any, I can't believe those. I think it's got to be a bot. Yeah. Although, you'd be surprised. There's people probably like, it's a no-brainer. Yeah, the same.
Hawk Tua is hot right now.
The Beanie Baby people.
What happened to the Beanie Baby people? People that thought Beanie Babies were the way of the future. Oh, yeah, yeah. So they invested their life into Beanie Babies. Oh, the original rug pull. Yeah, those same people are the people that are like, this Hawk Tua can't lose. Yeah. It's too big to fail.
They talked to like a POG advisor, and he's like, look. Yeah.
Babies are hot right now.
Well, did you see, like, a 10-year-old did a meme coin, and he got, like, $30,000. I was like, gotcha! Like, cashed out. Now I think he might be in big trouble. But then I think they boosted that so, like, he could have made, like, $12 million if he didn't, like, rug pull in the first, you know, hour or so. I mean, how can you blame a 12-year-old? That'd be so sick. You should meme coin.
That'd be tight. Rug pull. Matcoin? Rug pull would be nice. You call it rug pull?
Yeah. Like, I'm going to tank this.
Dollar sign rug pull?
I don't know how that works, but you would need your own independent blockchain for that? Or is that just like, what even is it? Nobody knows. I think it's people Venmoing you their money, and you're like, oh, look.
yeah yeah i don't think anyone's like inventing new technology i think they're just like copy and pasting the framework of every other coin and then you just give it a cool name and have like an endorser and that's that's all you need really you could probably do it yourself there's probably some youtube videos for how to do it what if i turned it into an nft
Now we're talking. That's old and busted. Is it really? That's dusty. Talking your meme coin into an NFT. Yeah. I never understood that. People are like, no, you can just start one. You can do like a picture. Then you like sell it for $30,000. Yeah. I never understood that. I can agree. No one's paying $30,000 for anything I can produce.
It might be a surprise.
For like a drawing or something or an internet. That'd be crazy.
I don't think that any of them, none of them were like great art. I think it's just like they want to be on. It's attached to you. You know? Crazy. Yeah, you got to meme up. Yeah, I should meme coin. Time to go crazy.
Meme coin, rug pull. I promise you won't rug pull.
I'm out of the game. I'm going to rug pull.
That's the whole point of this. No, you have to promise that you won't, though. Oh, right. I definitely won't. Then I will.
No, there was... Okay, so there was... The way that they argued back was that they said they weren't rug pulling. They were saying other people were driving up the price so they could, you know, dump. Dump real quick. Yeah, and so... Pump and dump, I guess. And so, but... Even if that is the case, what they did was they had a high transaction fee for all of the purchases.
So even if they weren't the ones doing the rug pull, they were getting 15% on every transaction. So they still pocketed, you know, $20 million or whatever. Really? Yeah. Even if they didn't do what everyone is saying that they did. Well, I don't know. I'm just going off what CoffeeZilla said. Thank you, Coffee. Yo, shout out Coffee Zilla, man.
Shout out Zilla, yeah. Yeah, it is. I mean, again, it's like I've no disrespect to the Tua, but it's like... It's like a non-product. It's like an offshoot of like a weird... Like there's no real value.
No one wants products anymore, man. We're past that. True.
We're in the new phase. Yeah. We just want to like monetize weird personalities and just be like, fuck.
People just want to think about a weird thing and then have money assigned to it. That's all. That's true. Well, that's pretty sick. That is pretty sick. Yeah.
I'm hungry.
Great idea.
Let's go munch. I'm starving. You guys fucking rule. Thank you so much.
Thanks for flying us out here and putting us up in the lap of luxury.
What else can I do, dude?
I can't believe it.
What else can I fucking do? Thanks for making me feel like I have to jerk you off.
I know.
I did feel safe.
When we got in the hotel and saw how nice it was, I felt sexually pressured. Oh, guys, this is the industry we're in, right?
This is the industry. How bad do you want it? Now we're just going to chill and play some basketball at my house. Life's going out.
Yeah, shirts and skins.
No, shirts and skins.
It's naked basketball.
Tonight's naked basketball for sure.
That's the best part of the weather down here, man. You can play naked all year round.
I'm telling you, man. I'm trying to get my status.
It's cool.
I'm trying to defeat no in my life as well. That's the point of it. Enjoy the room.
Enjoy the rooms. Thank you, buddy. The cool walls in that place. The walls are so cool. Bye. Thanks, Remy.