John R. Miles
Appearances
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
What if managing stress wasn't about numbing it, but learning how to live through it intentionally and without shame? Today, I'm joined by someone who's redefining how we think about anxiety, Humble the Poet. He's a former elementary school teacher turned international bestselling author, spoken word artist, and creative force.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Yeah, what you just said reminded me of one of the lines that really stuck with me. And that is, you wrote, I hate that you had to pick up this book. And I think we all hate that we have to pick up the book, but anxiety has become such a universal struggle affecting all components of life from the oldest people in society to Gen Alpha. It's just incredible.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
So we're going to talk about some of the ways to confront it throughout our discussion. But I wanted to go back to something you were talking about earlier. I happened to interview Dr. Sandra Matz, who's a professor at Columbia. And she wrote this recent book about digital psychology. And she starts her book out by talking about how she was born in a small village in Germany.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And everyone in this village knew everything about her. Like when she lost her cat, everyone knew about it. When she got into a motorcycle accident, for better or worse, everyone knew about it. But throughout all of it, she always felt like she mattered. And you write and share in the book that your parents grew up in villages without electricity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Your mother felt nostalgic when she visited a small town in Kenya. And that sense of belonging to a tight-knit community is something that, as you brought up, now that we're in this global village, feel very disconnected from today. How do you think modern isolation is contributing to our anxiety? It's something you and I talked about before we even came on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And what's your advice to the listeners on how they can build community in their own life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
In his latest book, Unanxious, 50 Simple Truths to Help Overthinkers Feel Less Stress and More Calm, Humble invites us into a deeply personal journey, offering fresh, actionable truths for navigating modern life with more grace, resilience, and self-compassion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Yeah. As I was thinking, you thinking through all the stuff that you were just saying, one thing that I have learned that I think is so important for people to understand is we've gotten to this point where we think
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
In our conversation, we explore how modern society fuels our anxiety, why connection is a non-negotiable for emotional well-being, and how to trade shame for self-trust. We also dive into the high achievers anxiety trap and why so many of us mistake productivity for self-growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
connection our bonds are earned and what people don't realize they're not earned they have to be built and when you don't take the effort to build them they collapse and that is what has happened is over time they have collapsed and this constant pressure for individualism that you brought up that all the social networks are just driving down our throat is just making it worse.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Yeah, it just strikes me that when I think about the early days of the Biden administration, he was really pushing for an infrastructure bill to fix the infrastructure problems that we have throughout the United States, meaning bridges that haven't been taken care of for decades, roads that have potholes in them. And I don't know if anyone's driven across the country.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
lately, but there are a lot of roads that are in really bad shape, bridges, other infrastructure. And the same thing comes as you're talking about to our relationships. If you don't keep maintaining that infrastructure, what's happening to the infrastructures in America where you and I live start crumbling. Same thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
But before we dive in, don't miss last week's conversations with organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha York on building unshakable resilience, Stanford's Gregory Walton on the hidden power of social belonging, and Christy Smith on how to live with deep authenticity and truth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
No, absolutely. So Humble, one of the things you talk about in the book is the unlearn project, which is based on this idea that learning is never ending. And it's one of the things I always loved Tim, Tom Billy, who talks about all the time is that we are the ultimate learning machines. It's something I wrote about in my first book as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
What's something you had to unlearn about anxiety while you were writing this book?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
If you're new to PassionStruck, explore our curated starter packs on Spotify or visit passionstruck.com slash starter packs. Want more exclusive content? Subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter. And for full video episodes, check out the PassionStruck YouTube channel. Looking to bring more intention and resilience for your organization or team?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn how I can help inspire your people toward real transformation. Now, let's get started on this powerful conversation about managing anxiety, building inner strength, and showing up as your most authentic self. Let's dive in with Humble the Poet.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Two of the quotes from your book that resonated with me with what you were just discussing are you share an analogy about a houseplant wilting under the sink and you say, you can water it all you want, but without sunlight, it's just wanting to die.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And that really made me think about how much of our anxiety really comes from our internal struggles versus external environments that simply aren't nourishing us. But the other thing that made me really think about is one of my favorite quotes was this. You're not anxious. You're just living in an anxious world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
How you touched on this a little bit, but if you could share or unpack like one big idea for the audience, how do we navigate an environment that constantly feeds our stress?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Humble, the poet, to Passion Struck. Welcome, Humble. Thank you so much for having me, John. I have to just congratulate you on your new book, Unanxious.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
The subtitle is 50 Simple Truths to Help Overthinkers Feel Less Stress and More Calm. Congratulations on its release.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
I really appreciate that. We're going to be diving more into the book throughout our conversation today, but I'd love to open these conversations with a thought-provoking question. We all have defining moments. I call them in our lives that influence who we become. I was hoping you might be able to share a defining moment for you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
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Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you so much for sharing that, Humble. Last question I wanted to ask you before we wrap up is, if Unanxious had a thesis statement, one single idea that you hope sticks with readers long after they finish it, what would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Well, thank you so much for sharing that. And I have to say, when I think about myself, I've never really considered myself to be a teacher. In fact, it's something that I really feel like I struggle with. How do you come up with the lesson plans? How do you make sure that what you're saying is really reaching the audience?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And I think one of the things I did when I first started this podcast is I felt like I was talking at the audience. instead of talking with them and bringing them more into it. So they felt the emotion and there was a deeper connection and I still have a long way to go, but it's those who do it well. It is such an important art for people to understand.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
I think that ties so well to how you end your book. You write, we may not have all the answers, but we can choose how we respond to life's uncertainties. So embrace the chaos. And remember, life's too short to let anxiety steal your joy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
So I'm just grateful you were a teacher and trying to help shape lives because Lord knows we need good teachers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Humble, I can completely relate to everything you just said, because me getting on podcasts as my book was coming out was so much more difficult being a top podcaster than I ever expected it to be. So it must have brought you joy when I reached out to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Well, Humboldt, my honor. And it was so incredible to have you here. Best of luck on the launch of the book. And I hope through this, we develop a friendship that extends beyond the podcast. Most definitely. Thank you so much for joining. Cheers. I appreciate it. That's a wrap on a powerful conversation with Humble the Poet.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
I hope this episode left you feeling seen, understood, and a little less alone. One of the biggest takeaways from today's discussion, there's nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious. In fact, it's a natural response to an overwhelming world. But instead of silencing the signal, Humble shows us how to listen to it, reframe it, and use it as a guide for growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
We explored the idea that modern life has become a fast food version of connection, leaving us emotionally undernourished. Humble challenges us to reclaim community, prioritize real belonging, and stop shooting ourselves into exhaustion. As he put it, you can't shame a caterpillar into becoming a butterfly faster. He also introduced a powerful mindset shift.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Instead of fearing rejection, lean into it, practice it, get comfortable being uncomfortable, because that's how resilience is built. So I want to leave you with three questions. Where are you mistaking anxiety for failure instead of seeing it as a signal? How can you start building authentic connections, not fast food ones?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And what's one area in your life where you can replace shame with curiosity? If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to pick up Humble's book, Unanxious. The link to the book and more resources are in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Looking to bring more intention and resilience to your team or organization?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Then sign up for my weekly newsletter where I include tips, challenges, and ideas on how to drive your team to newer heights. If you enjoyed today's episode, a five-star review goes such a long way in helping PassionStruck reach more people. And if someone you know is struggling with anxiety or burnout, share this episode with them. It might just be the message they need to hear.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Coming up next, a mind-expanding episode with Dr. Emily Falk on how the brain processes influence and how to use that knowledge to spread meaningful change. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Thank you for being here, for being curious, and for choosing to live intentionally. The fee for the show is simple. If you found it valuable, share it. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
So Hamal, this isn't part of anything I scripted out for today's discussion. I have to go a little bit deeper with you here because I think it's an important topic. You just brought up something so important. You said as a teacher, one of the things that you're trying to do is to make the kids feel seen, to feel heard, to feel significant, which is the essence really of matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And when I think about schools today, and now my kids have grown up, they're 21 and 26, but I remember as they were growing up and going through the school system, it just seems like in so many ways they're being conditioned to do the opposite in so many ways. We have standardized tests that break people of being creative.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Kids, instead of feeling comfortable about speaking their mind and giving the answer that comes top of their head and being inquisitive, get conditioned to give the answer that they think the teacher wants to hear, or they're embarrassed to do it in front of their classmates. And I could go on and on, but I'd love your perspective on this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 595.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Yeah, to me, it's almost like we become very good at preparing our kids to be controlled because all the systems that you're talking about are trying to control us, control our attention, control our buying habits, control the type of clothing we want, control the type of car we want. It's all a control mechanism.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
And when we give up our creativity and our free thinking, a lot of that goes to the wayside. Even governments control us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
Whether you've been with us for a while or you're tuning in for the first time, I am absolutely thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to unlocking your potential, forging resilience, and making what truly matters matter most. Let me ask you, what if your anxiety isn't a flaw to fix, but a signal to understand?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Humble the Poet on How to Stop Anxiety and Find Inner Peace | EP 595
That's great. And I want to direct us back to an anxious your book. And I really found it interesting how you started it with a powerful grounding exercise on clench your jaw, gently take your tongue off the roof of your mouth and let it rest. Why did you feel it was important to start the book that way?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
You have just joined a global community focused on igniting purpose and living boldly with intention, and we're thrilled to have you with us. Before we dive in, let's take a quick moment to recap last week's inspiring episodes. On Tuesday, New Year's Eve, I sat down with Shira Gill to explore the art of simplifying your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
And on Thursday, Carrie Leibowitz opened the year by sharing her insights on thriving during life's darkest seasons. If you missed either of those episodes, be sure to check them out. And don't forget, if you're ready to dive even deeper, our episode starter packs are here to help. With over 550 episodes, it can be overwhelming to know where to start with the podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Yeah, as I was researching, preparing for this interview, I was looking more and more into the documentary and reading some of the reviews that came out. And one that caught my attention was in IndieWire. And it says, you attempt to find the root cause of your mom's dementia, but the documentary ends up shedding light on how helpless we ultimately are when decline comes for us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
And I thought the way that they phrased this was really unfair because I I don't think that's what you're trying to portray with the film at all or your work. I think you, like I, were trying to tell how people to live differently so that they can take steps to prevent it coming in the first place. Is that a better way to think of it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
So we've curated playlists on themes like holistic health, nutrition, mental and emotional wellness, spiritual healing, lifestyle health, and behavioral science. You can find them on Spotify or by visiting passionstruck.com slash starter packs for weekly inspiration and actionable tips. Be sure to sign up for my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
It's packed with exclusive content and tools to help you put the lessons from our episodes into practice. And if you prefer watching these conversations, all our episodes are available on our YouTube channel, where you can catch the videos and share them with others in your life who are passionate about growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Thank you for sharing that. And one of the people I want to introduce this to is my uncle, who was a researcher at Northwestern University for many years, and you'll find this interesting. His research was focused on the families of those who were experiencing dementia and what does dementia's ripple effects do to family systems and caregivers and loved ones.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
So I'm sure this this will be a topic he would very much love to watch and be part of. So going through this and interviewing all the people that you did, what are some of the biggest misconceptions that people might have about cognitive decline? And how did you aim to address or correct those narratives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Now let's talk about our episode today, where I'm thrilled to have Max Lugavere join us. Max is a journalist, filmmaker, podcaster, and New York Times bestselling author. who's become one of the most respected voices in health and wellness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Max's work was born out of a deeply personal experience, watching his mother battle a neurodegenerative disease, a journey that transformed his life and sent him on a mission to understand how we can protect and optimize our brain and body health. A journey that transformed his life and sent him on a mission to understand how we can protect and optimize our brain and body health.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Okay, and Max, I have a follow up question for you around these misconceptions, but I'm going to spend this a little bit different way. One of your major goals has been to make brain health a topic of interest for younger audiences. And you've just talked about how over time we have the opportunity to change our trajectory, which is something I completely support as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Why is it so critical for people in their 20s and 30s to take proactive steps now? And where would be some of the easiest starting points for them to focus on?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
What began with a passion has evolved into the Genius series of books, including Genius Foods and the Genius Life, and his popular podcast, The Genius Life, which I'm a big fan of, where he distills cutting edge research and actionable strategies for a healthier, more vibrant life. In today's conversation, we'll explore the groundbreaking findings from his documentary Little Empty Boxes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Yeah. And if you had to name a few non-negotiables for people who want to protect their brain through nutrition, what would some of those be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Max shares how our modern world has left our brains and bodies in despair and provides insights into how simple, intentional changes in nutrition, sleep, movement, and even our home environments can help us reclaim our energy, fix anxiety and fatigue, and boost cognitive performance.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Think of that another way is if you go in the supermarket, shop around the center of the store. Shop around it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
We'll discuss his journey from personal pain to professional purpose, the myths and misconception about cognitive decline, the power of resetting our bodies to their natural state, and how small, consistent changes can create lasting impacts on our mental and physical well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Whether you're looking to optimize your health, boost your mental clarity, or understand how your daily habits influence your long-term brain health, this episode is packed with with actionable insights. Here's my conversation with Max Lugavere. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Well, Max, I'm just going to give a shout out to the audience that if they want to dive deeper into some of the topics that you discussed earlier this year, I did a whole bunch of interviews covering all sides of this. Gabrielle Lyon really did deep dive on protein.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
I had Terry Walls and Morley Robbins, Cynthia Thurlow, Chris Kenobi, Eric Edmeades talking about many of the other things that you covered. So I want to go into the topic of choices because this is something that I talk a lot about on the podcast. You've written and talked a lot about how our choices in diet and lifestyle can transform our lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
What I want to ask you is a little bit different twist to this. How do you think this connects to living a purpose-driven, intentional life, which is a key theme of the podcast?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Now, let that journey begin. I am so excited today to welcome Max Lugavere to PassionStruck. Welcome, Max.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Max, thanks so much for joining us on Passion Struck. As I mentioned to you, I've been a huge fan of the Genius Life, all your books and the podcast, the documentaries that you've done, including your newest one, which we're going to get into today. Your journey is such an incredible example of turning pain into a purpose-driven mission that has ended up impacting so many lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Max, if there's one mindset shift or habit for someone who's listened to today's episode, you hope that listener adopts after hearing our episode, what would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
So that's where I want to start. I want to go to what ignited your journey for you, your mother's diagnosis and the profound effect it had on your life. Can you take us back to 2011 when everything changed for you and share how it's ended up shaping the direction, not only of your work, but your life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Well, Max, it's been a pleasure to have you on the show today. Where can our audience go to learn more about your work, whether it's your books, podcast, or little empty boxes?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Max, thank you so much for being here. As a long-term fan of your work, it's truly an honor to have you on the show. Thanks so much, John. It was a real privilege. Wow. What an incredible conversation with Max Lugavere.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
From uncovering the impact of nutrition and lifestyle on brain health to understanding how we can reset our bodies and minds to their factory settings, today's episode has been packed with actionable insights and profound wisdom. Max's personal journey from adversity to advocacy is not only inspiring, but also a
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
powerful reminder that small intentional changes can lead to monumental shifts in our health and well-being as we wrap up i encourage you to reflect on the key takeaways from today's episode whether it's making simple adjustments to your diet prioritizing better sleep reducing the toxins in your environment max's message is clear it's never too late to reclaim your cognitive and physical health
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Start where you are and take the first step toward a genius life. If Max's insights resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your support helps us reach even more people with these impactful conversations. And if you know someone who could benefit from this episode, share it with them. A single conversation can truly change a life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
You can find links to everything we discussed today, including Max's books, Genius Foods, The Genius Life, and Genius Kitchen, as well as his podcast, The Genius Life, and his documentary, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. The video version of this episode is available on our YouTube channels. And don't forget to check out our sponsors and deals at passionstruck.com slash deals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Supporting our sponsors helps keep the show thriving. Before we close, I want to remind you that I'm passionate about sharing these insights with organizations and teams through speaking engagements. Let's work together to create intentional change and ignite growth. You can find more at johnrmiles.com slash speaking. Now, here's a sneak peek at what's coming up next on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
I will be joined by Esther Dyson, entrepreneur, investor, and founder of Wellville. Esther is a visionary thinker who's dedicating her life to solving some of our most pressing health and societal changes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
In this episode, we'll explore her groundbreaking work in creating long-term community-based health initiatives, her thoughts on the loneliness epidemic, and how we can foster greater belonging and well-being in our lives and communities. Esther's insights on aligning purpose with impact are both inspiring and actionable. You won't want to miss this powerful and thought-provoking conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
And as always, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit from it. And remember, apply what you hear so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Well, thanks for going into that. And it's interesting, you and I share a lot of commonalities, even though we've gone about it a different way. We've both ended up getting into the health sphere because of personal stories, personal things that have happened. For me, I remember, you probably know Stephen Cabral. Stephen was, the Cabral concept is his podcast. And he was interviewing me.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
He goes, John, how in the heck did you get to be one of the top health podcasts? And I said, it was me search. I had in the military and outside of the military had a number of traumatic brain injuries, and I was starting to have cognitive decline and fog and everything else. To me, it started to come down to the choices that I was making. I could choose to eat better.
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Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
I could choose to get more sleep. I could choose not to drink alcohol. I could choose to exercise regularly. I could choose to take more omega threes, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And those choices were all leading me to a better outcome. And the more I doubled down on them, the better I felt and eventually overcame a lot of the symptoms that I was feeling. And then, uh,
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Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
I tack onto that my sister at 46 then was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And so we were wondering how does someone at 46 come down with this when there's no family history or anything else? So I started doubling down into that. So my point of this is similar to you. I'm not classically trained as a physician or anything else, but I've used a lot of me search
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
and research to really wrap my head around what are the things that are going on. So getting back to dementia, this is very personal for me from two standpoints. My fiance's mom is in the early stages of it, but I was a little bit older than you, probably 34 or 35. when my grandfather came down with dementia.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
Hey, passion struck fam, welcome back to episode 556 of the passion struck podcast. I am so grateful for your continued energy, passion and commitment to living a more intentional life week after week, you show up ready to elevate yourselves. And that's what makes this community so powerful. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome to the Passion Struck family.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
And for me, it was just heartbreaking because here you have a guy that at one point was the head of research at Kraft Foods, one of the smartest human beings I had ever seen. And he couldn't remember things from 30 seconds to the next 30 seconds. And just watching his decline for me, it was heartbreaking as I described.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Max Lugavere on How to Boost Brain Health Through Diet | EP 556
So I sympathize having a dear one like you did have to go through this because it's difficult and you get mad because you don't understand why they're acting the way they are at first at the beginning. So I want to take this to Little Empty Boxes. Can you talk about how you came up with that name and maybe give a high level overview of your approach to creating it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
How do we reclaim a sense of purpose in a world that often leaves us feeling invisible? And how can we align our lives with the deeper truths that bring fulfillment, clarity, and lasting joy? That's exactly what we're diving into today with Natalie Namaste.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
I, through the periods of my life, when I've been really immersed in my yoga practice and things like that, I find have been the times that I've been able to see the colors most brightly. And when I'm not as in tune,
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
To my inner self, I tend to lose the capability, like for a period of time when I think my life got out of balance and I was chasing the wrong things and experiencing burnout and other things. And this kind of leads me back to your early life. There was a book that came out in 1993 that perhaps many of the people in my audience have never heard of.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
It's called The Celestian Prophecy by James Redfield. And you discovered this when you were in college. So the interesting thing about this book is that in it, it explores this idea that humanity is on the cusp of a major shift in consciousness. And I was hoping you might be able to explain this and how it resonates with your own work.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
a globally recognized intuitive healer, Reiki master teacher, and channeler who has worked with everyone from high-profile leaders to everyday seekers looking to reconnect with their true essence.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Natalie's life took a profound turn at the age of six when she experienced a spiritual awakening that set her on a lifelong path of helping others remove energetic blocks, heal past traumas, and step into their highest potential. In today's episode, we explore why so many people feel unseen and how to rebuild a deep sense of belonging in your life and relationships.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
How tuning in to your inner guidance system can help you break free from inherited patterns and self-limiting beliefs. We discuss Natalie's approach to releasing emotional and energetic blocks that prevent you from living fully. And then we dive into how to integrate meditation, breathwork and daily rituals to cultivate self-trust, peace and purpose.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you for sharing that. And it goes right into a follow-on question that came to me. In The Celestian Prophecy, the book also talks a lot about energy, how we give it and receive it. And you were just talking about some of that energy. Why do conflicts arise when people try to control it?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, felt stuck in patterns that no longer serve you or wondered how to create a life that truly aligns with who you are, this conversation is for you. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on last week's episodes. We have some incredible guests sharing insights that could change how you approach your life.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
On Tuesday, I sat down with Eddie Fishman, author of Choke Points, to discuss the hidden power of global supply chains and how economic warfare is reshaping the world around us. We broke down how control over critical infrastructure impacts global stability, and why understanding these dynamics is crucial in today's interconnected world.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And on Thursday, Dr. Sandra Matz joined me to explore the fascinating world of digital psychology, how the data we generate every day is being used to influence, predict, and even manipulate our behaviors in ways we don't always realize.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
So I think that is a great lead in to where I wanted to start taking this discussion and that is into our soul's purpose. So over the past year, I've been trying to get gradually more and more experts in spirituality on the show. And I've had Rebecca Rosen, Amy Lee McCree, Dr. Lisa Miller, who studies the science of spirituality, and Susan Grow.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And one thing that they've all brought up, and it's interesting, I also recently interviewed Sam Wilkinson, who's a doctor and professor at the Yale Medical School. And when I was talking to Sam, he has really been studying evolution and how life is a test.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And it resonated with something that the other people I mentioned brought up, which is that they are convinced, as they are talking to angels and people's past lives, that what we are doing here on Earth, they call Earth School. And that when we're here, it's really a journey of our soul's purpose. Do you resonate with that earth school metaphor?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
We examine how personality insights are extracted from online behavior and what that means for personal privacy, decision-making, and the future of AI-driven influence. If you haven't checked those out, I highly recommend going back and giving them a listen after today's episode.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you for sharing that. And a friend of mine recently gifted me this book. It's called The Human Story by Dr. Roger B. Lane. And as I was preparing for our interview, I was reading it and a couple of things struck out and I was going to ask you a couple of questions about them. So along these lines, he writes, We are shown what our true purpose is. It wasn't hidden.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
It wasn't abstracted or obscured. Because of our collective karma, we may not have understood it, just as a child may not understand a parent's love when it does in fact exist. We have also learned that in order for a soul to complete its karmic journeys and return home to the Lord, God, it needs to be able to hold the frequency of the soul realm.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And if you haven't already, make sure to subscribe to the show and sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive insights on living with purpose, clarity, and deep fulfillment. Now, let's get into it. Here's my conversation with Natalie Namaste.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And we know that souls can only vibrate in the inner worlds at the same frequency at which it could while in the body. So that there needs to be the opportunity while in the body to vibrate at the frequency of the soul realm. As you hear those words how do you interpret that?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Hey, passion struck family. I am so honored today to have Natalie Namaste with us. Welcome, Natalie.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Well, I mean, that really speaks to what he writes later on in the book. He says, we have come to learn that part two of the grand experiment is in place now, and that souls can now, once established in the soul realm, also known as eternal life, progress through the many realms or frequencies above it up to and including the H-U realm, the first manifestation of God while in the body.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
This is the reason the path is named the path of soul transcendence. The soul can rise above the level of being home in the soul realm and can transcend itself, know more of itself while in the body. I think that's what you were just describing.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
One of the questions I love to open episodes with is this one. We all have moments that end up defining us. Some of us get those moments younger in age, some of us get those older in age, you and I happen to share something in common. When we were both five or six years old, we both experienced something profound in our lives.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
So Natalie, thank you for going into that. And this kind of leads me to a core part of the discussion I wanted to get into. Prior to us starting the interview, I told you that I believe that there is an existential crisis of meaning for so many people around the world. It's not just in Western civilization. It's happening everywhere.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And meaning or mattering is really this feeling that our existence is significant and impactful. And what I believe is that part of our struggle right now with meaning that is causing so many people to feel helpless, the loneliness epidemic, people who are broken, who are lost, a lot of the selfishness that I see people engaged in is really rooted in a disconnection from their spiritual selves.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And if that is the case, what are your thoughts on how we can start healing this huge divide?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And I was hoping you might talk about the profound spiritual experience that ended up shifting your consciousness.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you again for sharing that, Natalie. I wanted to go a little bit deeper into your practice of how you share this light. As I understand it, between the time you were 18 and about 33, you went on a journey of learning everything that you could so that you could be prepared when the time came to start being a teacher.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And I guess along this path, you encountered several people who told you that you hadn't experienced enough of life yet to be the teacher that you were called to be. So I understand now that you can channel, I think it's 120 angelic beings of light. And some people who might be listening to this, who think spirituality is wacky may be thinking, How in the heck can that be true?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
So what I wanted to ask you, so maybe you can make this real for a listener is what is this process of channeling like for you? And how do these angelic beings come to you? And then how do you maintain clarity and trust in the messages that you receive from them?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And Natalie, I guess the follow-up to that would be for someone who's listening or watching this podcast, how can they strengthen their connection to their guides and also trust the guidance that they're receiving?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And for someone who hasn't experienced Reiki before, it's something that I've done a couple of times and it's a unique experience I have found. How do you describe this process to someone who's never done it before? During the process, what are you trying to do for the person that you're working with?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And before the show, you told me that for the audience, you could perform Reiki for them. So I was going to invite you to do that.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Natalie, what a beautiful way to end the interview today. If listeners or viewers want to know more about you and your work, where's the best place for them to go?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Well, Natalie, thank you so much for joining us today. It was a real pleasure having you.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you. That wraps up today's powerful conversation with Natalie Namaste. A deep dive into the power of healing, intentional living, and aligning with your soul's purpose. If this episode resonated with you, take a moment to reflect. Are you honoring your journey and listening to the intuitive wisdom within you? True transformation begins when we embrace our worth and take intentional steps.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
toward living in alignment with our deepest truths. If you found value in today's conversation, I'd love for you to leave a five-star rating and review. It helps fuel the mission of Passion Struck and ensures we continue bringing you thought-provoking discussions like this one.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And if someone in your life could benefit from this episode, share it with them, because a single conversation can spark a lifetime of change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
for all the resources we discussed including natalie's workshops and upcoming events visit the show notes at passionstruck.com be sure to watch the video version of this episode on youtube and explore exclusive offers from our sponsors at passionstruck.com deals supporting them helps us continue delivering impactful content before we go if today's discussion inspired you and you believe it could benefit your organization team or community
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how we can ignite intentional change together. Coming up next, I'm sitting down with Dr. Samuel Wilkinson, Yale professor and author of the book Purpose, What Evolution and Human Nature Imply About the Meaning of Our Existence.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And in this discussion, we go over why for generations we've been told that evolution suggests that life has no deeper meaning, that we're simply the result of molecular accidents. But Dr. Wilkinson challenges this assumption, weaving together insights from science, philosophy, and human behavior, to argue that evolution may, in fact, reveal an overarching purpose to our existence.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
We're unpacking these insights and more in this episode, so make sure you subscribe and be ready for another transformative conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value today, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
I wanted to ask, how do you think children are naturally attuned to source energy? Because sometimes I think as we get more and more into our lives, we lose connection oftentimes to ourselves, so much so today. And I think when we're children, we're more open in many ways to the universe.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 580.
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I am thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to living with intention, unlocking your full potential and making what truly matters matter most. Now let me ask you this. What if the reason so many of us feel disconnected isn't because we're lost, but because we've forgotten how much we matter?
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
Thank you so much for sharing all that and I mentioned earlier that you and I both had defining moments in our lives. For me, I had a traumatic brain injury when I was that same age and it unearthed something in me that for decades I kept hidden from the world because it made me different and I didn't know how to process it. After that incident, I began to see auras, but I didn't see them
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
necessarily in the same way that you describe, although at times I can see a glow around people, what I would tend to be able to see is to see the field that surrounds not only humans, but animals or even objects. So I would start seeing things related to chakras, such as
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
would see red and i know that person was self-aware and courageous and passionate i would see orange which is like the sacral chakra and i would see it that right now they're creative or maybe they're brave i would see yellows and greens and blues and i thought as a kid i was losing in mind to tell you the truth and i wasn't i grew up roman catholic so i wasn't
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Natalie Namaste on How to Tap Into Your Solar Plexus Power | EP 580
spiritually in tune to these types of things. So I just suppressed the that I had this ability. And it's interesting, Natalie, because I found through different periods of my life, the capability comes and goes at times depending upon how aligned I am with spirituality and mindfulness, things like that. Is that kind of normal?
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
What if I told you that the key to managing your emotions isn't about suppressing them or trying to ignore them, but learning how to use them as a powerful tool to propel you towards your purpose. That is exactly what today's guest is here to help us understand.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, hearing your grandparents' story reminded me of my partner, Corey's history. Her grandparents were Russian Jews on both sides who, similar to your parents, evaded the Germans and eventually also migrated to Brooklyn, much like your family. And as I think about this and your family, and I think about the fires that are happening in LA right now,
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
I just think of, imagine just sitting in your home and everything is normal. And then all of a sudden you're told you have to leave now. And this can happen for a hurricane or a tornado or other things. But imagine that emotional toll. I mean, it really is universal, whether it was them or even what we're facing today.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And I think emotions and these personal narratives really shape the way we understand the human capacity to endure and thrive even when we have to face things like this. Wouldn't you agree?
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
In this episode, I'm sitting back down with my friend, Dr. Ethan Cross, one of the world's leading experts on emotions and self-regulation. Ethan is also the best-selling author of Chatter and the director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, I want to jump from here to the first section of your book in which you describe emotions as a near constant force in our lives. And I love the words you use, sometimes subtle like background music and other times sharp and consuming, shaping our decisions and relationships.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And in this first chapter, you highlight a 2015 study that found that people experience one or more emotions over 90% of the time. to illustrate it. And I am someone who has, I was not a Navy SEAL, but I have deployed a lot with them. And I've also been to SEER school.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And you beautifully illustrate this with the story of Matt Mastum, who's a SEAL going through SEER training, who I personally don't know, but I can understand what you were talking about with his story where he felt anger, pain, joy, and surprisingly, even love simultaneously.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Can you talk about that experience he went through and how understanding this pervasive and complex nature of emotions help us reframe them as a tool for navigating life rather than obstacles to overcome? So Matt's story is a really powerful one.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Ethan has dedicated his entire career to studying how we can transform the way that we experience and navigate our emotions. His latest book, Shift, which launches today, takes his groundbreaking research even further, showing us how we can harness our emotions for resilience, connection, and fulfillment. But today's episode isn't just about theory. It's about real, actionable tools.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
I wasn't simulated. I mean, you are put through a mock of what it would like to be a prisoner of war, including They're trying to test all aspects of it, from the noises that they blare in. There's the temperature. I did it in the mountains, so it was freezing cold. By the time you're captured, you haven't eaten in a few days because all they give you is a rabbit and send you on your way.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
So you're starving. And so they try to give this, I think, as real world as they possibly can. Here you are trying to evade capture, which is what the first aspect of it is. And then everyone gets captured. And then it's how do you deal with all these things that they throw at you to put you as much as they can under a real world situation.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Today, Ethan and I will discuss how we can reframe our relationship with our emotions. Shift.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
So if it would ever happen, you are somewhat prepared for what it's going to be like, knowing that it's probably going to be even worse than the environment that Matt found himself in.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
our inner dialogue and embrace the full range of feelings from fear to joy as a source of growth and clarity we'll dive into fascinating stories like how a navy seal used his emotions to thrive under pressure and explore the science behind how sensory experiences like music scent and touch can change the way we feel
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, one of the things I liked that you covered in this chapter is I realize hope isn't really an emotion. It's a cognitive state. But I explored this whole concept of why hope matters. I really typed hope to mattering.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And similar to the way you're explaining influence, the influence of emotions and how they influence not just our moment to moment decisions, but they can influence the trajectory of our lives. It's kind of like hope. I mean, it was hope that Gandhi used to inspire people to break away from the British rule. But he also tied into the emotions of the people.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Before we get started with today's conversation, let me give you a quick recap of last week's episodes. On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Dave Vago, a leading neuroscientist to discover the neuroscience of mattering and how our brain's intricate pathways shape our sense of belonging and purpose.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
It's, as you write, it's ignited personal achievements, like cultural legacies to large movements like the Taj Mahal. or the Underground Railroad. And it's so interesting because emotions do fuel some of humanity's greatest accomplishments. But I think what people fail to realize is how can they tap into this emotional fuel, so to speak, to create this life or these movements that they want.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
On Thursday, Francesca Sipma joined me to discuss how breathwork can connect us to our subconscious, unlocking clarity, emotional balance, and self-discovery. On Friday, I shared a solo episode on how to fight for your soul, where I explored the importance of aligning with your purpose, overcoming inner resistance, and making choices that protect the core of who you are.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, thank you for answering that. Ethan, I want to go back to something with the military here for a second. As you know, I have really been trying to study a lot about the topic of mattering, and I'm actually working on a book right now about it. And I want to take you back in time. A few years ago, I went to this
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
retreat that we were having that had probably 60 special forces, former special forces people there. It was everything from the former Secretary of Defense who was there to, you know, we had Green Berets, we had rescue swimmers from the Coast Guard, we had Rangers, we had SEALs, we had Marines, and universal across all of them, they had experienced profound post-traumatic stress. And
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
All of them had told me that they had gone through this sense of just feeling completely numb and indifferent and apathetic to the world around them. And it really led me to this connection that our emotions are really deeply tied to this sense of meaning and connection in our lives.
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Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
How does understanding and managing our emotions enhance our ability to feel like we matter and how we connect and belong in the communities that we're part of?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
If you haven't listened to any of those yet, check them out for some transformative insights. And if you're loving these conversations and want to dig deeper into topics like emotional resilience, personal mastery, alternative health, and growth, make sure to explore our episode starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
These curated playlists are designed to guide you through key themes like mindfulness, mindset, and the science of mattering. You can find these starter packs on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com, where I share weekly insights, challenges, tools, and exclusive content to help you stay focused on what truly matters. It's the best way to get inspired and stay aligned with your goals each week. And if you prefer watching these transformative conversations, make sure to check out our YouTube channel.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Thank you for sharing that. And I want to use the remaining time that we have to do a little bit of a teaser for the audience about the book, but not giving it all away. So they'll go out and buy it. Part two of your book, you're really starting to go into how do you start using the title of your book, Shifts? And it starts from shifting from the inside out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And on my way back from the gym today, I was trying to get myself pumped up for our interview. So I happened to listen to Casmir by Led Zeppelin. Nice. But you, as I understand it, you have a daughter named Danny and I have a daughter named Olivia. They both are soccer players.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Although my daughter doesn't really play anymore, but I remember when she was younger, there were those days where like anyone, you just don't feel like practicing or going to a game or something else. And.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
You, since we're, we're talking about Michigan today, you, you happen to turn a song on that journey saying that starts about a young boy from Michigan who wanted to believe, and can you go into this story and, and how this sensory shift helps us, uh, with our emotions?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
It's a great place to engage with the content in a whole new way and connect with others on their intentional living journey. Now, let's get started with episode 568 of Passion Struck with Dr. Ethan Cross. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And I would just say that a great other tool someone could use is I really loved the book, The Five Senses that Gretchen put out a couple of years ago, really exploring when we really tap into our senses, how much it plays a profound role.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
And all you got to do to experience this is go to a hotel like I did this past weekend where they pump in the sensory smells or a restaurant which does the same thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
I am absolutely thrilled to welcome back Dr. Ethan Cross to PassionStruck. Great to see you again, Ethan. Great to be here, John.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
So this cultural shift is something that needs to happen in a lot of businesses right now where you've got so many people who are disengaged and there is absolutely a reason for that happening, but a lot of it plays into the emotions of the employees.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
So why does culture play such an important role in how we interpret and express emotions and how can shifting it help us navigate our lives with greater intentionality?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
It is great. I wish we could do this in person, and I hope down the line we can. But I am glad that we're doing it now because we actually are, both of us, huge Michigan fans, and we can still, as of today, say we are the national champions. That's right.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, I think that's a great topic to end on. Ethan, if someone wanted to learn more about you and your work, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Well, thank you so much for joining us here today. And I can't wait to have you back on for a third time. Thanks so much, John. It's an honor and a privilege as always. Wow, what an extraordinary conversation with Ethan Cross.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
From the groundbreaking insights into why we feel to the powerful tools for shifting our emotional states, today's discussion was a masterclass in understanding and harnessing the complexity of our emotions. Ethan's work in Shift reminds us that our emotions aren't obstacles, they're allies.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Whether it's the power of sensory experiences like music, the stories of resilience and love from his research, or the practical ways we can use emotions, As tools for connection and growth, this episode is packed with wisdom that can truly transform how we navigate our lives. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on a few key takeaways.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
How can you begin to see your emotions as superpowers rather than hindrances? What sensory tools like music, scent, or touch can you intentionally incorporate into your daily life to help shift your emotional state? If today's episode resonated with you, please leave us a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Your feedback helps us continue bringing powerful conversations like this one to the Passion Struck community. And if someone in your life could benefit from Ethan's insights, share this episode with them. It could be the spark they need to see their emotions in a whole new light.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
You can find all the resources we discussed, including Ethan's book, Shift, and links to the previous episode on Chatter in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel where you can watch the video version of this episode and share it with others who are passionate about intentional living.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Lastly, if you're looking to bring these kinds of transformative insights into your organization or team, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn how we can work together to ignite purpose, connection, and emotional mastery where it matters most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
In our next episode, I'll be joined by Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed podcast, for a powerful discussion on intentional living, personal transformation, and feeding the parts of ourselves that matter most. It's going to be an inspiring conversation, so make sure you tune in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Thank you for always for spending your time with us and for being part of the Passion Start community. Remember, the lessons you learn here are only as powerful as the actions you take. Until next time, live life Passion Start.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Absolutely. And I am ecstatic that it also looks like our basketball team is going to be back to the program we all hope it will be. So with that lead in, it is such a pleasure to have you back on Tash & Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Your last episode on your previous book, Chatter, resonated so deeply with our listeners that I was just thrilled when I learned that you had written this new book and that we could bring you back on. So This episode is really, to me, a continuation of the incredible journey you've taken us on, one that's both scientific and profoundly human.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Can you maybe walk the listeners through what led you from chatter to now writing this book?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 568.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
So Shift opens up with an incredible story about your grandparents, Dora and Izzy, and their harrowing escape from the Nazis during World War II. a story as I was reading it of survival, resilience, and emotional endurance. What stuck with me the most is how their stories reflect the themes of emotions as really tools for navigating life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Can you share more about their journey and how it influenced your own understanding of emotions?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
If you're new to the show, thank you so much for joining us. You have just entered a community that's all about igniting passion, living intentionally, and creating a life that matters. Now, let me ask you something. Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by your emotions, feeling like they're controlling you instead of you controlling them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
What did you do when you went to the gym? Well, today I just wanted a cardio workout. So I just did 30 minutes on an elliptical. And I listened to Andrew Huberman's podcast that you were on as I was doing it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Ethan Kross on How to Make Your Emotions Work for You | EP 568
Do you ever lift weights? Well, I have an alternative health podcast, so I follow what Mark Hyman and other people have told me to do. So I try to do cardio a couple of times a week and I try to do free weights a few times a week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Your cell phone's out of battery and you got to start pushing it. And at first, in order to get momentum, you have to have a burst of energy. to get it going. And then after that, it gets easy. But I keep thinking to myself, what is this burst that needs to happen to get people to start waking up to the enormous number of things that aren't working?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Because there's got to be something that's tying through all of it, I feel. I'm not sure your thoughts on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
But in today's hyper-distracted, fast-paced world, the question, do I matter, is one many of us wrestle with in silence. Today, we are diving into this life-altering topic, but from a fresh and profound perspective, through the lens of neuroscience, mindfulness, and the mind-body connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Before we dive into this transformative conversation, let's take a moment to highlight the incredible episodes we had last week. On Tuesday, I spoke with number one New York Times bestselling author Dan Heath, who shared insights from his latest book, Reset. How to Change What's Not Working.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
What you just said was so profound. I'm almost speechless on where to go with this, but I'm going to follow up on a number of different things. And have you seen David Attenborough's documentary on Netflix?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Well, what I've been telling everyone I know that I can to watch this because he profiles his whole life being out in wilderness. And he showcases just the tremendous awe he experienced when he was in his 20s first going out. And then he profiles what has happened in areas around the world and the magnitude of the changes that are happening.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And what he was saying, the undercurrent of impact that it's having not only on the planet, but nature and the spiritual elements that connect all inhabitants of the planet. And I thought it was one of the most profound things I've watched in a while. The first people I told to watch it were my kids. But I'll put that out there. But I am so glad you brought up the spiritual angle because...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
We explored how identifying leverage points can help you break through inertia and create lasting, meaningful change in your habits, relationships, and systems. Then, on Thursday, I had the honor of hosting Dr. Allison Woodbrooks, Harvard professor and author of the new book, Talk, The Science of Conversation, The Art of Being Ourselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
It is something that I've started to make more a focus and is going to be a core focus in next year's episode. I have Andy Newberg coming on, Rick Hansen. I've got a whole bunch of people coming on to talk about spirituality and science. Recently had Lisa Miller talking about the science of spirituality as well. So I want to go back to Dacker for a second because when
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
I interviewed Dacker and I love to bring him up on this podcast because I love his research. We were talking about the different forms of awe and how it presents itself. And the most prevalent, he told me, was moral beauty, meaning the most...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
common way we experience uh is by observing moral beauty which is acts of kindness or compassion that either we are doing or we're witnessing someone do it for another human
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And when I get back to what you were talking about and us feeling a connection, I can't help but think of this term mattering again and that moral beauty, because to me, when we are performing acts of service or we're witnessing others perform acts of moral beauty, that really does ignite that sense of mattering, so to speak. Do you see that connection as well?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
In that conversation, we delved into the power of intentional dialogue and how communication can deepen connections, foster belonging, and remind us all that we matter. And lastly, if you missed my solo episode, I discussed how deep work is one of the most transformative tools for unleashing the five keys to mattering in your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
No, I agree. And earlier in the week, I was interviewing Alison Woodbrooks. Not sure if you're familiar with her, but she's a professor at Harvard Business School and teaches this fun class called How to Talk Gooder in Business and Life. But what we were talking about is the science of conversation. And she said to me, the thing people don't really get with conversation is that it helps you
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
either to be seen or in its absence to be unseen. And it really got me thinking of how surface level the way people listen to others is today, meaning we don't really do deep listening, deep probing. And I think when we don't allow others to hold space, when we truly aren't involved in what they're saying, it does impact their self worth and causes people to shut down.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
To me, it was an interesting way to think about it. Have you ever thought about that from that standpoint?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
It's an approach to reclaim focus, redefine priorities, and live with greater purpose. Be sure to give it a listen if you're looking to make more intentional choices in every day of your life. For those of you new to the show, welcome. You have just joined a global community dedicated to living with purpose, unlocking potential, and making a lasting impact.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
It's interesting. I was doing just getting into improv. a couple of years ago and one of the first exercises that we had to do was what you just described. We had no idea it was coming, but they made us dance around the room and then they said, stop and turn around.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And then they made us stare at the other person for five minutes and they made us try by not using words, but just looking at each other to try to convey a piece of ourself to the other person. And when you do that, especially
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
With someone you don't know, it's really uncomfortable, I have to say, but really profound in what it's like to be in quiet in the presence of someone else's space, so to speak.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
With over 560 episodes, I know it can feel overwhelming, so we've curated episode starter packs to help you get started. Whether you're exploring things like how to take back your power, emotional well-being, how to change what's not working, or what is the key to longevity, these curated playlists will guide you on your intentional journey.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Yeah. And the way I was trying to wrap my head around this is I was thinking of Louise Hay's mirror work and in her practice, you're really putting a mirror in front of yourself to look at yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
But when we're speaking with someone, we're really not only putting a mirror up to them, but through what they're saying and their experiences, we're really putting a mirror back onto ourselves and how we can relate to the other person, because there is this I think commonality in certain things that make us all feel like we belong.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I see, I think even though someone else's story is different, I think we can see ourselves in it is where I'm going with it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. And if you're looking for more inspiration, don't forget to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter. Each week, I share exclusive tools, strategies, and insights to help you put the lessons from those episodes into practice.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Yeah, not only essential, it may be foundational to do it. I'm just hearing you talk about it. Well, Dave, in contemplative practices, the concept of decentering plays a significant role. How does that ability to decenter from one's thoughts and emotions impact our view of ourself and our self-worth and how we're showing up for others?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And if you prefer watching these conversations, be sure to check out our YouTube channel where you'll find full episodes, highlights, and shareable content to inspire those in your life. Finally, if this episode or any other resonates with you, I'd love for you to take a moment to leave us a five-star review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Your feedback not only helps the show reach more people, but it fuels the passion-struck mission of spreading intentional living to individuals and organizations around the world. Now, let's turn our attention to today's guest, my friend, Dr. David Vago.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
So I guess a good way to think about this is I think about it in myself is what you're talking about is the sticky nature of thoughts. And it's these thoughts that create the self-critical thought patterns that really at times undermine our feelings of ourselves flourishing or perhaps having purpose or being as good as we could be.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I remember when I was going through cognitive processing therapy, which is a sub layer of CBT, this whole concept of stuck points, which to me relates to those sticky knots that you're talking about. And in order to break the stuck point,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
I had to start, like you were saying, decentering, start releasing that, the probability of that stuck point happening 99% of the time compared to the 1% of time that it happened that was holding me back type of thing and letting it go. And once you process it and you let it go, it's a freeing mechanism, so to speak.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
In his previous appearance in episode 123, we did a deep dive on self-transcendence and how we can rise beyond our individual selves to connect with something greater. Today, we're building on that foundation to answer the question, How can I create a life where I truly matter? Dr. Vago brings unparalleled expertise in neuroscience, mindfulness, and integrative medicine.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
His groundbreaking work bridges cutting-edge science with ancient contemplative wisdom. Today, we're going to explore how mattering is tied to the very fabric of human flourishing, the neuroscience behind feeling valued and connected, how mindfulness and meditation connect, can help dissolve feelings of insignificance and foster a deepened sense of self.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Isn't that some of the work David Yadin is doing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
that contributes to your better health and well-being so maybe i guess as a connector to that you have a model that combines self-awareness self-regulation and self-transcendence yes Can you describe that model?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I guess what I'm looking for is, can you describe them and then how can these principles when applied to someone maybe help someone overcome this feeling that they don't matter or that they don't hold space or they're stuck? How could these benefit someone who's in that position?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And lastly, practical tools to help you create environments where you and those around you know you matter. Whether you're seeking to deepen your relationships, find greater self-worth, or inspire meaningful change in your community, this episode will equip you with the tools to take action. I always love having Dave on the show because it is such a deep conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Hey, PassionStruck listeners. I am absolutely thrilled to bring back on the show Dr. Dave Vago. Welcome, Dave.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Absolutely. And I had a really interesting conversation with Angela Duckworth because I was telling her that I really love her work on grit, but I, in this conversation said, I think you missed an important ingredient, Angela, and I call it intentionality. And she equates intentionality to self-regulation or self-control, which I, learned as a whole major focus of her.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And she said, I'm not going to disagree with you that it doesn't play a profound role because it does. But she looked at it as two different things. I look at it as combined, meaning you've got to have self-regulation on where you're applying your grit or you're going to apply it to the wrong areas of your life anyway.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Thank you for that. And last time you were on the show was episode 123. And today I recorded episode 546. A little bit of time has passed. And there have been a lot of changes in your life since then. When I recorded this last one, you were at Vanderbilt. You've now moved, if I have it right, across the country.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Unfortunately, I lost my sister to pancreatic cancer earlier in the year. And one of the things she asked me to do before she passed was to interview Sharon Salzberg, which I did. And one of her questions that she wanted Sharon to explore was equanimity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And my sister was a Buddhist and she was trying to think about how do you deal with the human condition of suffering and how equanimity factors into it. And Sharon did a great job explaining that. So that was a real fascinating discussion we just had on your Sardi framework. I know another area that you have really looked at is the temporal nature of memory.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I guess where I want to go with this is how does the way we remember our past influence our sense of self or sense of mattering in the present?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
I was hoping maybe we could start off by you getting the audience up to speed on some of the major changes in your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Thank you for going there. And I was thinking, as you were talking about prolonged exposure therapy, because I've done it and it sucks. It's really painful. It's really painful to live through the same traumatic thing again and again and again. But as you were talking about it, I wonder how different it would have been if I had used psilocybin to help with the process.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And it's interesting, Dave, I have been a supporter of the Warrior Angels Foundation and they had this retreat. We were at my friend Andrew's farm outside of Houston, Texas, and there were about 80 veterans there, almost all of them special operators. And it was amazing as I was talking to these guys, how many of the symptoms we share overlap.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I would say out of the group who were there, about 90% of them were in clinical trials using psilocybin or MDMA or something like that. And the amount that were not getting helped through classic talk therapy and who this was working for was really eye-opening. And I think what David Yadin told me is that there's almost close to a 70% efficacy rate that they're seeing through the use of
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
using some of these drugs to help with getting over some of these traumas, which is quite incredible.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Well, I think the other thing I think it does is part of the reason some of these therapies are difficult For people to go through, I found it with myself, is you have to be, if you want prolonged exposure therapy to work, you've got to be really vulnerable. You have gotten to put yourself out there and put your truth out there. And for some people, it's hard to do.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
But I think when you're in an altered state of mind, it may lessen the burden that you feel on opening the mind to talk about those things, so to speak.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Dave, it's been such an amazing opportunity to interview you again. I had one last question I wanted to ask you. Through you, I met Jeff Walker, who's become a really good friend, and you and he share a similar mission to put an end to human suffering. How do you see this concept we've talked about, meaning, mattering, significance, feeling value and connected?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
It sounds like I could bring you on for a round three and just discuss AI.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
That would be awesome. I can't wait for that discussion. Well, Dave, if a listener, you were involved in so many things now, if a listener wants to get ahold of you and understand what you're doing, where's the best place that they should go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Dave, thank you for joining us again. It's always such a profound opportunity for deep discussion when you come on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
What an enlightening conversation that was with Dr. David Vago. His profound insights into the intersection of neuroscience, mindfulness, and human flourishing provided such a powerful lens through which to explore the concept of mattering.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
One of the biggest takeaways from today's episode is the role of meta-awareness and contemplative practices in fostering a sense of self-worth, connection, and significance. Dr. Vago's discussion on dissolving the self-other divide, the adaptive mind-brain-body interactions, and how mindfulness rewires the brain to overcome feelings of insignificance was truly inspiring.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
His practical advice for integrating these practices into daily life reminds us that cultivating mattering for ourselves and others is a journey rooted in intentionality and awareness. As we wrap up, take a moment to reflect on today's insights. Where in your life can you practice more self-awareness or build deeper connections with others?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
What steps can you take to ensure that you and those around you feel seen, valued, and significant? Remember, mattering starts with small, deliberate actions that ripple outward into transformation. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review and share how these insights are impacting your journey.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And if you know someone who could benefit from Dr. David Vago's message, please share this episode with them. Your support helps us grow this community and inspire meaningful change. For links to everything we discussed today, including Dr. Vago's research and the tools he shared, check out the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
You can also support the show by visiting our sponsors at passionstruck.com slash deals, where you'll find discount codes and special offers. Every resource fuels the show and helps us bring you these inspiring conversations week after week. Before we wrap up, I wanna remind you that I'm passionate about sharing these insights with organizations and teams through speaking engagements.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
If today's episode inspired you, and you think my message could bring value to your company, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more. Let's work together to create intentional change and ignite growth. And lastly, for those of you who want to find your starting point on the path to becoming PassionStruck, take our quiz at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Next episode, I am thrilled to welcome Francesca Sipma to the PassionStruck podcast. Francesca is a transformational coach and founder of HypnoBreathWork. a groundbreaking method that combines hypnotherapy, breathwork, and neuroscience to help people release limiting beliefs and uncover their purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
In this episode, we explore how this innovative approach can break through subconscious blocks, foster self-awareness, and ignite the clarity needed to live with intention. It's a conversation filled with powerful insights and practical tools you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit. Together, we can spread the message of intentional living and create a ripple effect of positive change. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Well, thanks for going into all of that and a lot of changes. You got your hands in a lot of pots, but kind of what you're now into are things I have become extremely
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Passionate about, passion struck about, inquisitive about, and trying to get into deeper understanding of this because I think contemplative science, self-transcendence, meditation, all these things are becoming more and more important to our human system, I think.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And I don't think I told you this story, Dave, but the whole reason I got into what I'm doing now is at this point, almost 15 years ago, I started to get these visions and this inner calling. And at the time I was this Fortune 50 executive, so I didn't know what to do with it. But what I was being told is that there are so many people out there who are lonely, helpless, broken, battered, bored.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome back to episode 565.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
et cetera, and you are supposed to help them. And when you first hear that, it's like, I'm supposed to do what to who and who are these people? And as I've gotten further and further into this, I think what you're saying is true. I think we've got existential crises happening all around the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
And when I started to go deeper and deeper into this, I started to look at all those things as symptoms of something greater. And it really led me down this rabbit hole of starting to explore human significance or our longing to belong, our longing to matter, not only to ourself,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
But how we show up for others and then in turn, how that influences how we make other people feel like they hold significance. So I thought maybe I'd start out today when you think of that and you think of the term matter or mattering from your lens, what does that mean to you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Have you ever stopped to reflect on the profound impact of mattering? It's more than just feeling seen. It's the foundation of belonging, the key to unlocking your purpose and a vital part of living a truly intentional life. Whether it's in our careers, our relationships, or even our personal sense of self, the deep human need to matter drives our choices, our connections, and our growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
Dave, yesterday I had Dan Heath on the podcast and he has a new book coming out that I'll put here. It's called, it's not showing up very well, but it's called Reset, How to Change What's Not Working. And I started to think about that. He's doing this for like organizations, but organizations
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Dave Vago on the Neuroscience of Mattering: How to Feel Valued & Seen | EP 565
I mean, what you're talking about is we need a global reset because there's so much that's not working right now. And he was talking about in order to solve these major stuck points, you have to find some leverage point. And we were talking about the analogy of it's like your car getting stuck and you're out of gas and you have no one to wave down.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on the incredible conversations we had last week. On Tuesday, we explored the power of behavior design and how to become indistractable with bestselling author Nir Eyal. On Thursday, Anne Marie Anderson an Emmy Award-winning ESPN broadcaster joined us to talk about embracing audacity, dismantling doubt, and taking bold risks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Probably also Hal Hirschfield and their studies here and Jamel Zaki as well. So I want to turn this to you, West. So part of my experience in technology had to do with data centers. And when I got to Lowe's, I inherited IT operations. And I remember two weeks into the job, I'm asked by the corporate head of HR to come into her office. And I thought she wanted to talk to me about
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
the leaders in my group, which was a little bit part of it, but more she wanted to talk to me about the fact that out of 310,000 employees, my group had been scored on the least most recent engagement survey as the worst performing in the entire company. And so what I was dealing with was not only IT operational people, but people who were in the data centers who
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
were remote from the rest of the group. And as I've built these things and a lot of times they have to be geographically separate, you have this issue and you refer to this in the book when you're talking about data centers of the people feeling isolated, which they can be because In the modern data center, you want to make them as lights out as possible.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So we always wanted to put as few people as we could to have them perform. And it's difficult when you're based in Charlotte, North Carolina, and they're in one of your data centers is in San Antonio, like ours was at Lowe's, to be able to be there all the time. So
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
How, when companies are dealing with situations like this, does a leader recognize when their organization is starving for meaning before it reaches a breaking point like the IT operations group had when I inherited?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And then on Friday, we sat down with Olympic gold medalist Vincent Zhou diving into his journey of resilience, leadership, and the mental game behind elite competition. If you missed any of these episodes, I highly recommend going back to listen. Now, let me ask you this. What if the missing piece in your career isn't a promotion, a new title, or even more success?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Okay, so Tamara, I'm gonna take what Wes just said and turn this over to you. Wes was just talking about meaningful work and in the book, you define meaningful work as work that provides community, helps contribute to something that matters and challenges us to learn and grow. The three Cs that Wes has brought up now a couple of times. I wanna ask you this question differently.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
If you had to define meaningful work in just one sentence without using those three words, how would you do it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I think that's part of it. But I'm going to give you a hypothetical scenario to maybe describe it. Since we've been talking about Lowe's, which is a Fortune 50 company, imagine you're consulting for a Fortune 50 company, as I know you're a consultant. And these companies have all the right structures in place, typically. They have strong revenue, great benefits, cutting edge innovation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
But in so many of them, the employees report, just as my group did, feeling disconnected and uninspired. If you were walking in the door and the CEO hired you to come in, where would you start in diagnosing the problem?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Okay, I'm Wes, I'm going to turn this over to you with another real life scenario from my life. So I end up leaving Lowe's and I take a job at Dell as initially the CIO over their consumer business. And I'm in that role for about two months, have primarily interviewed with their team, etc. And then the president that I'm working for, who's leading this gets fired.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
What if the real key to fulfillment is something deeper, something that's tied to impact, purpose, and connection? That's exactly what we're exploring today with two extraordinary guests, Wes Adams and Tamara Miles. They are the authors of the new book, Meaningful Work, a proven path to making an impact, creating community, and finding fulfillment in work and life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And Michael decides to combine small, medium business with the consumer business to give you like the size of, this is about a $35 billion entity now that I'm becoming, I think the CIO over. And so I reach out to the president who's now over this entity who I've never met before, happens to live in Singapore at the time. And I approach him that I'm really excited to be joining your team.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I can't wait to have this responsibility. And he says, I need to stop you right there. He goes, my, the person over. the consumer business hired you, I did not hire you. So you need to prove your worth to me. And this is after I've already moved my family. I've already moved my life there. And he says, you're going to have to come out here to Singapore and meet with my whole leadership team.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And if we decide at that point that you are the right fit, then we will continue. If not, we won't. So I want you to think about that scenario that happened to me and what are companies getting wrong about crucial moments like that if they wanna keep people invested and what should they be doing instead?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I went over to Singapore, I somehow passed the test and believe me, it was not easy because they were very high performing team that had been working together for years. And after this, after I was successful at doing it, they ended up giving me the large enterprise portion of the business, the public portion of the business, the services portion of the business and corporate development.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
It ended up going okay, but I, from that moment forward, never felt like I had trust that had been built from the beginning, if that's a way to think about it, because I
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I would have thought if you have a person who I did had literally gone through eight rounds of interviews to even get to the point where I was hired at Dell and to have to go through that amount of due diligence only to be told that you were going to have to go through it again was really a letdown for me of someone trusting in my capabilities that I was bringing to bear, so to speak.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
and they've spent their careers studying what separates people who feel deeply engaged in their work with those who feel stuck, drained, and unfulfilled. In today's conversation, we dive into the hidden drivers of meaningful work that go beyond salary and status, why leaders have an outsized influence on whether employees thrive or disengage.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
It's a difficult situation on all counts. And what this leader didn't account for even on top of this was the other things that were happening in my life. The fact that my kids were having trouble adjusting, the fact that we had bought a house only to realize that it had been termite infested. And now we had to do a $250,000 remodel that insurance wouldn't cover. Oh my God. Wow.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I think what ends up happening a lot of times when we talk about this meaning at work is that we end up treating, and I'm guilty of this too, we end up treating people as a sole entity of their work life. And often it's even worse than that. We see them in the role that they're in, but we don't recognize all the things that they've done before they were in that role.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
that might be able to contribute to other things of higher potential. And as I took over that IT operations group and fast forward two years later, it went from the worst performing in employee engagement to the second highest performing in the entire company. And I'm actually writing a book right now on how I did it. The thing that was most important, I thought, was that I had to be authentic.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
in how I was meeting the employees, which meant that I couldn't get up in front of them and give a speech and expect them to do their jobs. They didn't know me. I had no credibility with them. So for the first three to four months as I was assimilating into this job, I kept my family back in Atlanta where we were before.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And I would go in at all times of the day to the data center, to the operations command center, to other people because it was a 24 by 7 operation. And at first, the employees weren't really opening up to me. But over time, when they realized I had a vested interest in them and I was learning about them, their families, what their passions were outside of work, they started leaning in more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And then once I got their trust, they started to tell me what was really going on. And that was, they had no idea how the jobs they were doing impacted the bottom line of the company, the customer in the store, all these things. And so by gaining their trust, I was able to get to, from their perspective, what was causing them to be disengaged in the first place.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
We discuss how to define success in a way that prioritizes purpose over productivity, and we go into practical, research-backed strategies to
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So long winded there, but I want to go back to authenticity. How do leaders balance being real with their teams while maintaining authority and respect while at the same time bringing this authenticity into it? I'll let you guys pick who gets it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
transform your workplace into a space of belonging impact and fulfillment this episode is for anyone seeking to make greater impact in their work whether you're leading a team building a business or simply trying to find more purpose in your day-to-day life and for those of you who want to dive even deeper check out our episode starter packs at either spotify or passionstruck.com starter packs with over 580 episodes with curated playlists on topics like leadership purpose
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So let's talk about what you were just describing right there, Tamara. One of the people that you reference in this book, I'm personally a fan of. I'm a big Peloton biker, and one of my favorite riders that they have is Tunde. Tunde is so great. And what I love about Tunde is the deep sense of connection that comes about in these sessions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So how can leaders in traditionally non-inspiring industries like manufacturing, finance, private equity, etc., replicate that 10-day type of ability to create a deep sense of connection with people in industries that are hard maybe to connect with and inspire?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
emotional health, and mental resilience to help you find the inspiration that resonates most with you. And don't forget to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive insights, challenges, tools, and strategies to help you put today's lesson into action. And if you're watching on YouTube, be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Now let's dive in to what truly makes work meaningful, how to create a culture of impact, and what it means to lead with intention. Here's my conversation with Wes Adams and Tamara Miles. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I am so thrilled today to have Wes Adams and Tamara Miles on PassionStruck. Welcome, Wes and Tamara. Thanks. Thank you for having us. Well, today we are discussing your brand new book titled Meaningful Work, How to Ignite Passion and Performance in Every Employee. I love the title given the name of my podcast is Passion Struck. And my last book, I also used the word ignite passion in it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
But I wanted to ask you, why did you specifically use the word ignite in the title?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
When I was reading your book, that's one of the things that I love the most was that framework where you ask, when exactly did this happen? What was the context of the story? What happened leading up to it? Who did you interact with? What did you do leading up to the moment? What did you learn from the moment, et cetera?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And I think it's a really good matrix that people should buy the book just for that matrix in their organization.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
understanding how the work that you do really matters and then having growth and development opportunities and a leader who believes in you welcome to passion struck hi i'm your host john r miles and on the show we decipher the secrets tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I'm going to end our interview today with this question that I'm going to give to each of you. Your book really highlights the impact of moments of meaning, brief but powerful interactions that shape how we perceive our work. And I'm sure you didn't get here overnight. You got here because you each felt this yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So could you share a personal moment from your own career that solidified your belief in your research?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Absolutely. That's one of the things I miss the most about Austin. We'll see if we can revive it. We'll have a reunion next year. I have to tell you, one of my favorite episodes I think I've done on the show was with Will Godera.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
It is. But when I interviewed him, The Bear had just come out. And so I said, have you watched this show? And he hadn't yet. I'm like, I think they used your book as the backdrop for the whole series that they're doing. It's this mindset of excellence, of that hospitality that he brings up in the as his differentiator. And it turns out it was.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Because he's a consultant on the show now, right? Well, he is now. He wasn't then. I can tell you that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I love it. I have this thing I've been using for 25 plus years now called the deliberate action process. And I'm going to get into this whole discussion further on in the interview. But I developed this before agile methodology was even a thing. And It's very similar to what the founders of the Agile manifesto built out. But one of the six steps I have in this process is Ignite.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
I don't know if you've seen that movie, the six triple eight, but that type of moment happened in that movie, too, because they're opening up some of these letters trying to figure out where they should go and some dog tags come out. And one of the woman just throws them in this bin with other dog tags. And this other woman who had lost someone in the war says, You can't treat people like that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
These are humans that sacrifice themselves for us. We need to treat them with dignity. That's the whole reason we're doing everything that we're doing. Moments like that are such important pieces.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Well, last thing I wanted to ask is where's the best place that listeners can go to learn more about the two of you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Tamara and Wes, it was such an honor having you on the show. Congratulations on the new book. I hope it gets into a ton of leaders' hands. Thank you so much for having us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Really enjoyed it. And that's a wrap. What an insightful and inspiring conversation with Wes Adams and Tamara Miles. Today's episode gave us a deeper understanding of what makes work truly meaningful, not just for individuals but for entire organizations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
We explored how leaders can create environments where employees don't just work but thrive and why fulfillment comes from a sense of community, contribution, and challenge. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on your own work experience. Do you feel like your contributions truly matter? Are you working in an environment that fosters meaning and growth?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
If not, what small steps can you take today to shift toward work that aligns with your values and purpose? If Wes and Tamara's insights resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your feedback helps grow the passion struck movement and allows us to bring you more powerful conversations like this one.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, please share it with them. You never know how a single share can impact someone's life. For more resources from today's discussion, head over to passionstruck.com where you'll find show notes, links, and additional insights to help you apply what you've learned.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And if you want to go even deeper, make sure to watch the video version of this episode on my John R. Miles YouTube channel. While you're there, hit subscribe and join our growing community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Coming up next, I'm joined by none other than Donald Miller, the bestselling author of Build a Story Brand and a master of helping people clarify their message, grow their business, and build a personal brand that truly connects. Donald's insights have transformed the way entrepreneurs, executives, and creatives communicate their value.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And in our conversation, we're diving into how you can apply these principles to your own life and career. So make sure you're subscribed and ready for another game-changing discussion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And I often get questioned by people, why would you put a step in here called Ignite? And it comes down to is you have to have the intrinsic motivation to power through whatever it is you want to do or to have your employees motivated to do whatever they're going to do.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So you need to ignite that inner flame within them or else they're not going to take action or they'll take it, but they won't take ownership of it. So that's why to me, this whole word ignite is so powerful and people don't understand just how powerful it can be. Not sure if you have any thoughts on that, Wes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
We could touch on it right now. I was going to ask about it later on in the book, but yeah. I introduced agile methodology into Lowe's when I took over software development and I did it at the time and I had some experience before joining Lowe's using Agile, but we were typically a waterfall shop while I was there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
But I remember I was having this discussion with a friend of mine, Scott Butterfield, who was the senior vice president over corporate strategy. And he said to me, as I was talking to leaders, as I was taking over this role and he goes, you guys in IT are absolutely incredible. at developing solutions that are obsolete by the time we get to the customers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And I really sat with that because he was right. By the time we went through the gating process, which we had won awards for and everything else, our solutions in many cases weren't timely. So I ended up picking this guy named Ron Lutz, who at the time was probably the biggest critic that there was of IT in the business.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And he was running assortments in the store and he needed this solution to handle like a billion dollars worth of resets that he had to do. And if he would have done it the typical way, it would have probably taken him three years.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So I introduced him to Agile and I have to say at first he was very skeptical, especially about his own role in having to show up for the sprints and the scrum meetings every single day. But when he started to see the progression that we were making as a result of the scrums and when we got the minimal viable product out in six months, something that would have normally taken us a couple of years,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
He went from being the biggest critic to the biggest advocate and cheerleader that I had in the whole company. And it changed everything from that point forward. That was one of the most impactful experience I had of using Agile. But I worry today that it's lost some of its wonders because people misuse it or use it in ways today that it was never intended to be used.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
But it's a great framework for what, if it's used correctly, what it's meant to accomplish.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
It ignited his passion and performance. Absolutely. So I have a great story of this. I started out my career in consulting and I worked for Anderson Consulting and Booz Allen. And one of the projects that I won was with the Strike Fighter community, Top Gun, and we were developing Strike Fighter online.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
And so I brought in a couple subject matter experts, which were ex-fighter pilots onto the team. But for all the main development leads who were working on the project and the business analysts, we actually took them to Oceana or other bases so they could interact with actual pilots. And many of them actually got rides in the aircraft so that they could understand what
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 589. Whether you're a longtime listener or joining us for the first time, I am so grateful to have you here. Passion Struck is more than just a podcast. It's a movement dedicated to unlocking human potential, intentional living, and making what truly matters matter most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
the human factor that was involved in the systems that they were going to build. And I'm going to direct this question at you tomorrow. So I mentioned that conversation with Scott Butterfield, where he was putting the blame on IT. The other portion of the conversation I didn't tell you is I told Scott that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
Although I see where he is going with what he is saying, I said a big problem that I am seeing as I'm analyzing the whole portfolio of projects we're doing, which were about a billion and a half dollars worth of projects, is that the business kept looking at technology
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
to be the savior and they were neglecting the human factor that was involved and not worrying enough about the change factor that was occurring. So my question to you tomorrow is why do so many leaders overlook meaning as a performance driver and what's the cost of that blind spot?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Wes Adams and Tamara Myles on How to Create Meaningful Work | EP 589
So for the audience who's listening, Tamara just brought up Ed Diener. Unfortunately, Ed Diener has passed, but his work is so inspirational. And if you're looking to learn more about this area of study, I would highly encourage you to go back and listen to my interviews with Shigeo Oishi, Cassie Holmes, and Laurie Santos as examples.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Because of what I did in the military, I have a lifetime ban of ever going to Russia. But I have been to China many times. And I have to say, the last time I was there, it was a profound change. I was in Beijing. And when I started going over there in the 2000s, we were welcomed. It was all about economic growth, everything else. When I was walking around Beijing the last time,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
It was almost like the way we used to look at Russians in the old Soviet Union. I just felt like people were looking at me completely different and not in a necessarily friendly way. So it is interesting how much the world has changed and how the paths that we expected things to go down did not manifest itself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Yeah, it's unfortunate because when my sister was living there and she was fluent in Russian, she used to always just talk about how beautiful the country was, how wonderful and warm the people were. And it's one of those things that the more we should focus on the commonalities, we would understand that our differences are just so slight in the big scheme of things. Well, let's go on to this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Today's guest, Edward Fishman, is here to unpack this seismic shift in global strategy. A former top State Department sanctions official, Edward has been at the forefront of America's economic warfare efforts, helping to design sanctions against Russia and Iran. Now in his groundbreaking book, Choke Points,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
You tell... through the book, this story, through the people who crafted and implemented these economic tools, you call them the Mavericks. I wanted to ask, who was the most surprising figure that you encountered? And along with that, did any of these people struggle with the ethical implications of their work?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
American Power in the Age of Economic Warfare, he takes us behind the scenes to reveal how economic weapons like sanctions, export controls and financial dominance are reshaping global power dynamics. In today's episode, we explore how economic warfare has become the primary tool of statecraft in the 21st century. What choke points are and why controlling them is the key to global influence.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Yeah, I really loved your sections that focused on him because for those who aren't aware, his insights have been so profound in where, and have shaped so much of where we are today. So I'm really glad that you brought him up and used it as the example, because if not, I was going to ask you about him anyhow.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So just early days into the Trump administration right now, but one of the things that we're already seeing is that the treasury is gonna play a major role over the next four years. And I wanted to get into this discussion of, Coming out of World War II, the US became the gold standard for the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
In fact, we had a call where not only did we take Germany's gold, but we got the gold from a number of our economic partners in the war. And then under the Nixon administration, we ended up shifting from the gold standard to the fiat standard that we're on today, which kind of changed everything. And so the central bank and the treasury started to play this profound role.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And that role has lasted now for decades where the US has had the upper hand, but now we're starting to see the threat that China could bring by creating an alternative economic system and neutralize America's dominance. I was hoping you could touch on this and did I get the path correct?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
The hidden history of how the US pioneered economic weapons long before most of us even noticed. How Russia, China, and other nations are fighting back by building alternative economic systems. and the risks of overusing economic power and whether we're headed toward a fractured global economy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So I want to go back to sanctions. Because sanctions have been described as a weapon that fires in both directions. Given the major economic sanctions on Russia have also disrupted global energy markets, at what point do you think the costs start outweighing the benefits? Yeah.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
If you've ever wondered how global conflicts are really fought today or how the economy itself can be weaponized, this episode is for you. Edwards Insights will challenge your understanding of power, security, and the invisible forces shaping our world. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on last week's incredible episodes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
As I have looked at previous wars and what kind of the major indicator of America's resolve to fight in them. It always comes into the populace of the American people as you're just bringing up. That's how we really did a nosedive in Vietnam. It happened again in the war on terror. And it's something that you, as you just brought up, you really have to watch.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And we've recently seen over the past few weeks that China has entered the AI arms race in a big way, taking on chat GPT. And for a long time, the US has been targeting China's semiconductor industry with sanctions aiming to slow its AI as well as some of its military technological advances.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Looking at what they have just done, how would you rate the effectiveness of the strategy and what does it tell us about the future of this tech-driven economic warfare we find ourselves in with China?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
On Tuesday, Randy Blight, the legendary Lamb of God frontman, joined me to talk about art, purpose, resilience, and the creative process. His journey from self-destruction to artistic mastery is one of the most raw and insightful conversations we've had on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Then on Thursday, I was joined by my friend, Dr. Scott Schur, and we explored the cutting edge world of health optimization and did a deep dive on the GABA system and how it impacts brain function, stress resistance, longevity, and mental clarity, and why the future of health is about personalized proactive wellbeing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So I want to stay on this China theme for a second. And go back to Afghanistan. One of the biggest dilemmas I have for us leaving Afghanistan is it was one of the most plentiful countries in the world for rare earth minerals. And we basically allowed China to replace us there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And there's been a lot of speculation that China will respond to the US economic warfare by cutting off exports like these rare earth minerals, solar panel components, battery components that we need. By weaponizing its own supply chain dominance, what would the consequences be for the US and the countries in Europe?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
It's going to be a very interesting next few years. I'm just trying to take in everything that you're talking about, because what you're saying are the same things that are going through my mind on a weekly basis. So I want to make an interesting metaphor for you. I used to be a senior executive at Dell.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Each of these conversations was packed with insights on transformation, resilience, and unlocking potential, and they tie directly into today's episode. Whether it's about redefining personal power, optimizing your health, or understanding global power shifts, intentionality is the common thread. And do you want to dive deeper?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And for those who aren't familiar with how Dell has been organized over the years, they did this kind of accordion effect where they would globalize and then localize, globalize and then localize, meaning they would have global leaders over different areas like the consumer business.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And then they would switch to in-country leaders instead where that regional leader was running all practices for Asia-Pac and then they'd switch back. And it created these ripple effects that as a person in technology, I saw because we had this spaghetti architecture. And at the time I got there, 8,000 plus systems that were all doing repetitive things across this infrastructure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So a whole bunch of spend and wastefulness that the company no longer needed. But the world is doing this as well. And it's interesting because when I was there, we had a number of different presidents over these business units.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And when I was there, they had switched back to, you had a person over consumer, a person over small, medium business, a person over public, a person over large enterprise, a person over services, a person over software. But the way that Michael would lead is all of them were in competition.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And so where I'm going with this is it causes these fractures within Dell, which really became economic fractures because all these presidents were competing against each other and their behaviors started to form economic blocks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And I thought I'd introduce this whole topic using this analogy because with every major power weaponizing its economy, are we heading towards a future where the global economy fractures into competing economic blocks like I saw at Dell?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
If today's episode sparks your curiosity, check out our episode starter packs, curated playlists that explore topics like leadership, economic power, and resilience. You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
That is a very scary thought. sorry but i mean it really is i've recently been watching some documentaries on world war ii and not a place the world wants to go back to because the ramifications at this point with the advances that we've made since then would be catastrophic okay so I'm going to bring this back to the lens of what we typically talk about here on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
weekly insights and strategies sign up for my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com prefer watching these conversations head over to our youtube channels where you can catch all our episodes and share them with those in your life who are passionate about growth now get ready for a conversation that will change the way you see global power one that's playing out not just in war zones but in supply chains currency markets and cutting edge technology let's dive in with edward fishman
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I am really doubling down on the power of mattering. And I discuss a lot on the show about personal psychology. And I've been trying to talk more and more about this concept that I call mattering deserts. Places throughout the world and in our communities where people feel unseen and unimportant.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And I want to use this mattering desert as a metaphor, because in an economic sense, do you see the world emerging where entire nations become economic deserts cut off from global trade, isolated and stagnated?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I'm going to preface this that if you don't know the answer to this, we'll just cut it from the interview. Thank you. At the beginning of the Ukraine conflict, I remember listening to an economist talk about why Putin was doing this now. And I remember what he was talking about happened to happen to coincide with the populace in Russia.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And similar to other places in the world, we've seen this natural decline in the number of births that are happening. And so in Russia, this is more profound than in many countries. And what this economist was saying is, and Russia are at the very point where they're going to not have the critical mass needed in order to take the actions that they're doing today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And he said that when you look at this from a geopolitical standpoint and Russia over the centuries, they have been invaded through a series of checkpoints and that what Putin is trying to do while he has enough people left to do it is to start closing off these choke points to protect the company's long-term threat for invasion. So my question to you is, do you think that's really playing out?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled to welcome Edward Fishman to the PassionStruck podcast. Welcome, Eddie. How are you today?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And are they using economic means along with their people to try to close these choke points down?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Very interesting. At the beginning, Eddie, you mentioned to me before we came on that and in the book, You talk about this a lot. You weave in your personal stories. You have actually been in the room where these decisions are being made. And I was hoping that maybe you could bring this to light for a listener or viewer. What are the complexities in the decisions that are going on here?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
How tense do these meetings get? How much are the participants looking at the pros and cons of the decisions that they're making and the unintended consequences?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Well, I want to start off by just congratulating you on this great book that I'm holding up. It's titled Choke Points, American Power in the Age of Economic Warfare. And we're airing today's episode on the day it releases. Congratulations to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
It's almost like years ago when we had the war department and we were actually winning wars. When you have people completely dedicated to one goal, you tend to get the outcome that you want. And since we shifted from that, we see the ripple effect when we don't. So I think that whole idea is a good calling card.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I might tell my daughter who's in college right now that she should start viewing the world through this lens of economic warfare and what she's studying. So I want to thank you. So I want to take you Eddie, just as we close out through a couple of different fictional scenarios, just to see, cause I think this would be fun for the audience. I'm going to give you the first one.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
We talked about AI earlier in the discussion. Suppose an AI-driven sanctions program is developed capable of instantly detecting and enforcing violations worldwide. Would that make economic warfare more precise and effective, or would it create unforeseen dangers?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I remember that first time I got that, a set of books, and it's just this overwhelming feeling when you finally see the real thing and you're not looking at it on the screen, but you're holding these words that you've put years and years into the making. It's just something surreal about it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Thank you for that. And here's another one. So we talked about the US and China a lot today. If the US were to enter a full-scale conflict with China, military, technological, or economic, or a combination of all of them, what would China do first to sever the US from its global supply chains Would it be to launch a cyber attack where they go after our energy grids?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Would it be something that takes out our technological might? Would it be something that disrupts our military communications? What would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Eddie, I'm going to start here. Your book opens up with this striking image. Oil tankers stuck in a maritime traffic jam at the Bosphorus as Russia's war against Ukraine rages in 2022. It's a powerful scene and one that immediately brought me back to my time in the Navy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And then here's the last scenario. So digital currencies are the talk from everyone. And right now I see it playing out where you've got the US in the race to create a digital currency that could be like the central bank. You've got China trying to do the same thing. You've got Bitcoin in the mix.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So let's imagine in a scenario where China is the first to create a worldwide digital currency that rivals the US dollar. What would that mean for America's stability to use financial sanctions as a weapon in the future?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
That is the scenario that I am most worried about because I think it's the one that could become the most likely and we're not prepared for it. Okay. So my final question is it's 2040 and you're writing an updated edition of choke points, which has become a New York times bestseller selling millions of copies. What will be the biggest economic weapon of that era?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
What new battlefield do you think will have emerged? Oh, wow.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
When I was on destroyers and cruisers, we would often sit in the Sea of Marmara right at that choke point, watching the flow of ships through the strait. For those who may not be familiar with these dynamics, can you break down what a choke point is in an economic sense? And why did you use this concept as the title and metaphor of your book?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Eddie, last question. Where's the best place for people to learn more about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And I'm just going to show it one more time, Chip Points by Edward Fishman. And what we discussed today is really just a tip of the iceberg of what Eddie goes into in this book. If you're interested in this topic, I highly encourage you to buy a copy. Eddie, thank you so much for joining us. It was such an enlightening conversation and an honor to have you. John, thanks so much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
An honor to be on the show as well. And that's a wrap on this eye-opening conversation with Edward Fishman. His insights challenge us to rethink how power is wielded in the modern world, how economic warfare is shaping global conflicts, and why the real battles of the 21st century may not be fought with weapons but with financial leverage, supply chains, and sanctions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
As we close out today's episode, take a moment to reflect. How do economic decisions at the highest levels impact your daily life, whether it's the cost of goods, job opportunities, or financial security? Are we moving toward a world of greater stability through economic deterrence, or are we on the edge of a new kind of global conflict?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
The conversations we have here on PassionStruck are meant to challenge perspectives. and help you make more intentional decisions, whether in your careers, relationships, or understanding of the world around you. If you found today's discussion valuable, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Your support fuels these transformative conversations and helps more people discover the show. And if someone in your life could benefit from understanding the hidden forces shaping global power, share this episode with them. It could spark an entirely new way of thinking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
All resources discussed today, including Edward Fishman's book, Choke Points, are linked in the show notes at passionstruck.com. If you'd like to watch the full video version, head over to my YouTube channel at John R. Miles. And don't forget to subscribe and share with others who are passionate about growth and insight.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I love bringing these topics into organizations and teams through my speaking engagements. If today's episode got you thinking about the broader implications of leadership resilience and strategic decision-making, Visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how we can work together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And coming up next on PassionStruck, we shift gears to a deeply personal and psychological conversation on how we see ourselves, our aspirations, and our perfectionism. In our next episode, I sit down with Sandra Matz, professor at Columbia Business School, who studies how personality, psychology, and data-driven insights shape the world we live in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Our work explores how our digital footprints, our online behaviors, purchases, and interactions are being used to predict everything from our happiness to our spending habits. We'll dive into how our psychological traits influence our success and fulfillment, and why understanding your own personality data can help you lead work and live more effectively.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
You won't want to miss this eye-opening conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Thank you for being part of the PassionStruck community. Your dedication to living intentionally and making an impact inspires me every day. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Most importantly, apply what you've learned so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
It is so interesting to me how your book really lays out how economic warfare has evolved into America's primary tool of statecraft. And what you were just describing is we now have these new weapons to fight wars. One of those is cyber warfare, which I'm very well familiar with because that's what I did in my career.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
But we've also reached a moment where these financial weapons that you were just describing have taken precedence over military ones. How did we reach this point?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 577.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Well, it's so interesting. Just last night, my wife and I were talking about Afghanistan, Iraq, the events of 9-11, and we We were going back to presidential elections, and I can't remember in my lifetime if there's ever been a Democratic candidate who has followed an incumbent or a Republican candidate who has followed an incumbent. It's like we keep swapping back and forth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
But the question I was pondering as I was thinking about today's interview is, After the Clinton presidency, what would have happened had Al Gore become president? Would we have even gone into Iraq? Would this have led to Afghanistan? Would we have gone down the path where we are today. What are your thoughts on that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I am thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to living with intention, unlocking your full potential and making what truly matters matter most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
I just look back upon that time and Colin Powell has been someone I've always admired and I had the chance to meet him one time and was such a humble And I always feel, as I've looked back upon that time, how misled he felt when he went to the UN, et cetera, over something that turns out wasn't even factual.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
And it's a very good point because I've seen firsthand being in combat zones is not what it's all cracked up to be. And if we can avoid them, we should at all costs. So let's get back to the book here for a second. For decades, globalization was seen as the key to prosperity and stability. And over the past years, that belief has unraveled. How does economic warfare fit into that shift?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Edward Fishman on Economic Warfare: The New Age of Power Dynamics | EP 577
So let me ask you, what if the most important weapons in today's world aren't missiles, tanks, or cyber attacks, but financial leverage, supply chains, and control over economic choke points? What if the future of global power isn't determined on the battlefield, but in boardrooms, central banks, and trade networks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And it really struck me, and part of the issue was, The idea cycle was taking too long to go through the process of the system that we were using to get projects to go through this gating system through the executive committee, through all these sub gates to getting delivered. And I happened to discover your book at this time and read it and it really changed my viewpoint on the anatomy of
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
How do you explain things so that they're stickier and that there's more of an urgency built underneath them to get it done more quickly? But I have to tell you, as I was going through this, I happened to go, I think it was probably eight or nine months later, I was at NRF, the National Retail Federation's big event in New York City.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And I was fortunate enough to be working with a vendor who took us into this room and said, we have a special guest that we're going to introduce you to. And it was Tom Ridge, who had formerly been the first director of Homeland Security. And so we're in this room and we're talking to him. And we start, for one reason or another, start talking about this war on terror that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
President Bush was deeply involved in and that he was at the epicenter when he was Homeland Security, and I happened to talk to him about it and I said, Secretary Ridge, one thing that really strikes me is that This idea isn't sticking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And part of the reason it's not sticking is you're not using any type of scorecard for the American people to make them understand what progress is being made, what isn't being made, etc. And I took some ideas that you had from the book, and I actually... said them to them. And I'm not joking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Two weeks later, the president comes out with a national address and said, going forward, we're going to be using a scorecard to, he basically took everything I said to Tom Ridge and Tom Ridge had had, must've had a conversation with them. And they actually incorporated our discussion into national policy. So no way.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Yeah, I mean, I was telling him that we use balanced scorecards all the time to look at the progress that we were making and to justify more attention being put on things so that they're sped up. And I suggested to him that they use the same type of thing to indicate pain points and progress and other things to make people understand what all the money and attention is doing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Well, it was just one of those lucky things where I just decided to speak, and he was kind enough to have that air about him that allowed you to speak to him, and I felt comfortable doing it. That's so good. Well, Dan, the book we're talking about today, which is your brand new book that we'll have released when this episode comes out, is titled Reset, How to Change What's Not Working.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
It was such an amazing evening, and I'll put the YouTube video for it in the show notes if you want to check it out. And speaking of inspirational, last week's episodes were packed with transformative insights. On Tuesday, I explored happiness, compassion, and the power of mattering with Dr. Rick Hansen, a conversation that truly hit the heart of what it means to live a fulfilled life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And to me, this whole idea of mattering, I think, really plays into this whole idea of reset. How does this concept of mattering resonate with the framework you explore in Reset?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
One of the things I love that you use throughout the book is really simple but well-meaning illustrations to convey many of the points. And in the same introduction that you're talking about, you use a metaphor of a boulder.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
I'm going to change this a little bit because something that an analogy I use and what I'm talking about here is being stuck is imagine you're at a point in time when you're driving a car and you don't have your cell phone. And your car runs out of gas. You're really stuck with two paths. You can either put your hand up in the air and try to get someone to come over and give you help.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Then on Thursday, I spoke with Dr. Adam Galinsky about his new book, Inspire, and how to become a catalyst for positive influence and growth. If you missed these episodes, I encourage you to check them out. They provide such invaluable perspectives to help you thrive.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
But if not, you're either going to have to walk or you're going to have to push your car to a place where you can fill it up. And let's take that path of pushing the car because I think it's like your analogy to a boulder. So as you write in the book, when you're thinking about pushing this car, we often make the mistake of thinking that we can't do it because of a lack of effort.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Meaning, it's going to take more effort to do it than we're possible, possibly able to achieve. But I love how you frame this because In order to move that car or the boulder, you've got to be smart and strategic. The thing that I really love that you use here is a term that you have in the book called a leverage point, which was originally popularized by Danella Meadows.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
But it really captures the situation because you're looking for a change of equilibrium on how do you push that car forward. in an efficient way that you're going to start getting momentum. And I think the same thing applies to changes we want in our life or in the work environment too. So can you take that analogy and maybe run with it a bit more?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And then in my solo episode to honor the 16th anniversary of the miracle on the Hudson, I did an episode on Sully Sullenberger and the culture of mattering that led to that incredible landing where he saved all 155 lives. on that aircraft. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to thank you for being here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And I can't wait to explore some of this. I want to start out with something that you describe as situations of bad equilibria where people or systems are trapped in unsatisfactory patterns. And what are some of the telltale signs that we or our organizations are stuck in one of these cycles?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Well, it's absolutely true. I want to go through a couple of chapters of the first section. Let's talk about chapter one, because to me, this really coincided with some of the value systems that I saw at Lowe's. This chapter really emphasizes going and seeing the work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Whether this is your first episode or you've been with us for all 562, your dedication to living intentionally and creating a meaningful life is what drives this community. We've created episode starter packs to help you navigate key themes like self-mastery, emotional resilience, and the science of mattering. Check them out at passionstruck.com starter packs or on Spotify.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Lowe's had its own fleet of aircraft, and part of the reason for that was because if you were on the supply chain side, merchandising side, or stores operation side, those folks were constantly in the field going to see the distribution centers, going to see the stores because that's where the cash was made.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
to get firsthand observations for spotting inefficiencies or pain points or something else. And in the book, you talk about the work of Don Kiefer and Todd Astor, and also a case study in the MIT Sloan Management Review. And I was hoping maybe you could share that as an example for why it's so important to see this work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Also, be sure to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for weekly tools and insights. And join our thriving YouTube community of over 200,000 subscribers to watch each episode with immersive visuals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Oh, it's absolutely true. I would go on these visits with the Lowe's executives and I love going to the supply chain facilities and If anyone's familiar with distribution centers, they're really focused on this concept of cycle time, like how long does it take once a package gets in to get it back out? And
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Once you start seeing how everyone in these centers and the Lowe's ones were like a million, million and a half square foot are operating, that there's a lot of inefficiency.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And so they, while I was there, implemented something called putting people on standard, which was they started to automate the way that they were picking so that the system would tell them where the next item was, how long they had to pick it. and did it in a coordinated manner so it didn't have them moving all through the facility, but had them go much more directly from point to point.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
So it's the same philosophy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Well, Dan, in chapter three, you discuss studying the bright spots, how focusing on what's already working can help replicate success. And in here, I love what you wrote. You say averages are great for monitoring, but terrible for diagnosis. Averages can tell us something's wrong, but they're unlikely to tell us what's wrong or how to fix it. And one of the things
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Today, I am absolutely thrilled and honored to welcome Dan Heath, the number one New York Times bestselling co-author of Made to Stick, Switch, The Power of Moments, and his latest book, Reset. With over 4 million books sold worldwide, Dan is a master at helping people and organizations unlock progress and create lasting impact.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
that you brought up was net promoter score. And when I was at Dell, that's what we use to judge everything was NPS. And the problem with it is it's really an average. So maybe you use that as a backdrop to discuss these bright spots and why they're so important.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
In this episode, we dive deep into Reset, a revolutionary guide for fixing broken systems, overcoming inertia, and reallocating resources to achieve maximum impact. Whether you're stuck in a frustrating work situation, struggling with personal habits, or looking to improve team dynamics, this conversation is packed with actionable tools to help you move forward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
I mean, I think that's a great point. And I always use this example is so many people talk about their bucket list success. and what they want to accomplish. But I always tell them to look at their reverse bucket list. What are all the positive things that you've accomplished in your life that you never thought was possible?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Because that really gives you that inner fortitude to feel like you can take on things where maybe you feel fear or self intimidation or something else. So I love that chapter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Such a well-said point. And I think, as you said, the book does have more applicability to organizations, but I did find some direct bright spots throughout it that people could apply directly to their lives. And this was a key one, which is why I decided to focus on it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Another chapter I have to go into is chapter four, and I'm going to introduce it like this. My brother... works at Chick-fil-A and absolutely loves working there. And I happen to be driving where I live here in St. Petersburg by a brand new Chick-fil-A that was being built. And I got him on the phone and I'm like, Pat, there's a new Chick-fil-A being built.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And he said, can you stop and take pictures of the drive-thru? And we are piloting a new double drive-thru covered that we're putting into more markets. And I started asking him about the drive-through because for me, when you go to so many of their stores, you almost don't even want to go into them because they're like 80 cars in line, it seems.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And you're like, this is going to take 10 years to get through. And I thought that this whole section of the book was fascinating on targeting the constraint. And I'm hoping you can use that to dive into it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Here's what we'll uncover in today's discussion, how progress fuels your sense of mattering and purpose. We go into the concept of leverage points, which are small changes that yield big results. Dan explains strategies for restacking resources to focus on what truly matters. We also go into practical tips like starting with a burst to build momentum.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And lastly, we explore real-world examples from Chick-fil-A's drive-through innovation to hospital system transformations that demonstrate these principles and actions. If you've ever felt stuck in a bad system, a frustrating habit, or an unproductive relationship dynamic, this episode will empower you with the tools to reset and start making meaningful progress.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Absolutely. Well said. The second portion of your book, as you described earlier, goes into this concept of restacking resources. And it's basically how can individuals or organizations identify where their time, energy or money is being wasted? And reallocate those resources to higher value activities. Sounds simple, but much harder to do than it sounds.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And throughout this section, you go into start with a burst. Chapter seven is recycle wet waste. Chapter eight is do less and more. Chapter nine is tap motivation. And I love talking about motivation. And chapter 10 is let people drive and chapter 11 is get better, faster feedback.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
But I want to start out with start with a burst and something that I want to go back to is that whole thing that I was talking about with getting this car moving that's stuck on the side of the road, because in the, in this analogy, the force you need to get it moving. needs to be dramatically higher than the force you're going to need to keep it moving.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And I think this is something that people don't look at enough, whether it's self-improvement or working on an initiative in a company. And getting it moving is where that first comes in. Can you use this to expand upon this concept?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Passion Struck family, I have such an incredible guest for you today, Dan Heath. Welcome to the podcast, Dan.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Dan, the last chapter I want to talk to you about is chapter eight. I wrote in my own book about this concept of both and thinking. And so much today in the Western world, we tend to think of things as either or. And in this chapter, you introduce this principle of less and more. And in it, you write, this chapter is devoted to the trade-off of less of this, more of that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And what we're chasing in particular is a way to minimize the sting of those trade-offs. And you say in organization, it's not always a zero sum gain. You can find low sting, high bang trade-offs. Can you tell me what you mean by low sting, high bang trade-offs?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Dan, I have been a fan of you and your brother Chip's books for years. If the listeners aren't familiar with you, you also have a phenomenal podcast that I listen to quite frequently. It's called What It's Like to Be. Congratulations on all your achievements.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Well, Dan, such a fantastic book overall. I really enjoyed reading this. It's something that I want to give my son who's 26 as he is getting more and more in the workforce to understand how to utilize these principles better. And I am so glad you've brought another phenomenal book to the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
If someone wants to learn more about you and where they can find the book and your other books, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And the last thing I just wanted to say is for the listeners, Dan and his brother have Written so many other books that I would also recommend, Upstream, Power of Moments, and perhaps Switch, which is how to change things when change is hard, which may be prior to this book, my favorite one that you had written. And it's such an honor to have you on the show. Thank you so much for joining us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
What an insightful conversation that was with Dan Heath. His practical framework for getting unstuck, finding leverage points, and restacking resources is a game changer for anyone looking to make meaningful progress, whether in work, relationships, or personal habits.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
One of the biggest takeaways from today's episode is the power of progress as a motivator and how it ties directly to our sense of mattering. Dan's examples from Chick-fil-A's efficiency to eliminating waste in a hospital receiving area remind us that even small, intentional changes can create a ripple effect of transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
As we wrap up, think about the areas in your own life or work where you feel stuck. Are there leverage points you can target or resources you can reallocate to focus on what truly matters? Remember, meaningful change doesn't require monumental effort. It starts with identifying a well-chosen something and taking intentional action.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review and share how you're applying these insights. And if you know someone who could benefit from Dan's message, please share this episode with them. Your support helps us grow this community and empower others to make intentional change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
For links to everything we discussed today, including Dan's book, Reset, and tools he shared, check out the show notes at passionist.com. As a reminder, I'll also put the video for the Podcast Hall of Fame there as well. You can also support the show by visiting our sponsors at passionstruck.com slash deals where you'll find discount codes and special offers from our partners.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Every resource fuels the show and helps us bring you inspiring content every week. Beyond the podcast, I am passionate about sharing these insights with organizations and teams through speaking engagements. If today's episode sparked something in you and you think these messages could inspire your organization, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to explore keynotes, workshops, and other opportunities.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And don't forget to subscribe to our Live Intentionally newsletter and watch today's conversation on YouTube. Before we go, here's a preview of what's coming up next on PassionStruck. Joining us is Dr. Allison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School professor and author of Talk.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
In this episode, we dive into the science of conversations, why they matter, how to make them impactful, and how to navigate even the most challenging interactions. It's an episode packed with actionable insights you won't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Thank you as always for spending your time with us here on PassionStruck. If you found value in today's episode, the fee is simple. Share it with someone who could benefit. And as always, do your best to apply what you learn here so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Well, a couple of my favorites that I've listened to was Cindy Marble, who's a Secret Service agent. And it was so uncanny when I heard that. And her describing that what they're always trying to do is to prevent someone from taking the high ground. And then, unfortunately, the Trump assassination attempt where it was a colossal fail on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
What does seem to be when you hear about it, how some were on walkie talkies, others were on cell phones, others had different bands that there it was really a cluster situation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Another one I really liked having spent a lot of time in London was your interview with Jamie Owens, because I have always been amazed. at just the deaths of knowledge that London cabbies have to have in order to be granted the right to drive a cab. But yours really brought out some different dimensions when they had famous guests in the cab and other things. So I really enjoyed that one as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam, welcome to episode 562.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
I mean, it really was. And having heard similar experiences from New York cab drivers, it rings true on both sides of the Atlantic. And one of the most fascinating things you were talking about their prequalifications is during this exam, they're asked questions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
to take people from point A to point B. And oftentimes the routes that they're given have construction or it could even be maybe the prime minister is doing an event that day and they have to be so up to knowledge on what's happening that they take the most direct route in order to pass the test. Like you're saying, it's just mind boggling.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Absolutely. Dan, I'm going to ask you about one last episode here in a second. But before I do, I just wanted to tell you this, that Passion Struck really centers on this overwhelming idea that everyone matters. And I love the people you profile because some of my favorite guests are what I call everyday heroes who no one really knows about, but they're doing jobs that really matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And I find that intentionality is the key to creating meaningful change. So I was listening to your most recent episode with Sheldon Corsi, who's a Christmas tree farmer near Cincinnati. And the thing that really hit me was he was talking about his job is he's a farmer like any other farmer, but the difference between him and others is that he makes people's Christmas dreams come true.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And he makes other people feel like they matter. And I was wanted to use that maybe as an intro, you can talk about that episode. But what does mattering mean to you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to thrive even in the most challenging environments while others struggle to gain momentum? What's the secret to breaking free from stuck patterns, whether in your personal life, relationships or work? Today, we're diving into that exact question and uncovering how to reset systems and habits to unlock meaningful progress. If you're new here, welcome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
When you hear mattering, it seems like such an easy thing to describe or think about, but it's really complex and really permeates all aspects of life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
So I want to turn, before we start discussing your newest book, to one of your first books. I want to take people back into time. So the time period here is the end of 2006, beginning of 2007. And I worked as an executive at Lowe's Home Improvement. And I had just gone from leading cybersecurity infrastructure operations to being tapped on the shoulder to lead all application development.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
And we had a, about a billion and a half dollar budget where the vast majority of it was going to application development type efforts. And we were, I remember I was talking to the head of strategy who is a real good friend of mine. And he told me as I was taking the job, John said, You guys in IT are phenomenal at delivering solutions that are irrelevant by the time they're delivered.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dan Heath on How to Reset Your Brain for Success | EP 562
You have just joined a community that's all about transformation, purpose, and tapping into your fullest potential. We are thrilled to have you on this journey with us. This last week was a truly profound one for me. On Friday, I was so honored to be the master of ceremony at the Podcast Hall of Fame, where we welcomed in 11 new inductees into the 2025 class.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Coming up next on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
I appreciate you so much for sharing that. My brother has five kids and he has homeschooled all of them. And I know you homeschool your daughter as well. And I know for Pat, one of the things that he and his wife, Jenny, have concentrated on is how do you encourage the kids to cultivate curiosity-driven learning? as a core part of their mindset going forward.
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Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And I think that's what you're talking about here is that as we're approaching this world in the future, it's how do you balance that curiosity driven learning without falling into the traps of distractions that kind of want to keep you from that learning curve? Is that a good way to think about it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
If you haven't listened yet, it's a must-hear conversation that will completely shift how you think about happiness. Then on Thursday, we explored breathwork, vulnerability, and redefining masculinity with Bryant Wood. Bryant shared his powerful journey from external validation to deep inner healing and how breathwork can be a transformative tool for emotional resilience and self-discovery.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
So technology is all around us, and there's no way that you can prevent your kids from having technology because let's face it, it's almost impossible to avoid these days.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
How do you go about teaching your daughter how to manage technology and what suggestions would you have for parents who might be listening today on how they help their kids manage their technology use in a way that promotes learning rather than distraction?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
If you've ever felt disconnected or struggled with embracing your true self, this episode is for you. Now let me ask you this. Have you ever felt like your attention is constantly being pulled in a hundred different directions, leaving you feeling scattered and unfocused? What if the key to reclaiming your focus isn't about eliminating distractions, but learning how to manage them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And how can we take back control of our time and attention in an increasingly noisy world? That's exactly what we're exploring today with Nir Eyal, best-selling author of Indistractable and Hooked. Nir is one of the world's leading experts in behavior design, habit formation, and the psychology of focus. His work bridges the intersection of technology, psychology, and business.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Yeah, and I love how you tied self-determination theory into that. And I haven't had Edward Deasy on, but I have had Richard Ryan on the show. And it's amazing how much the two of them have been cited. I think they are the two most cited living scientists who are alive today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
In the book, you describe four psychological factors, and I wanted to go through a couple of these. And one of them that you talk about is boredom. And boredom is definitely a trigger for distraction.
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Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
But I think there's a way that we need to get more comfortable with boredom because it's something that we absolutely need for personal growth and self-examination, yet we're doing less and less of it. So how does someone get comfortable with boredom? as a means to personal growth?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
helping us understand not only how distractions work, but how we can master them. But this conversation isn't just about avoiding distractions. It's about how to harness your attention to focus on what truly matters. Whether it's your work, relationships, or personal growth, Neera will break down how to master internal triggers that lead to distraction.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
We go into the difference between traction and distraction and why understanding it is crucial. We explore how to hack back external triggers that pull us off course. And lastly, we go into practical science-backed strategies to build laser focus and reclaim your time. If you've ever felt like your days are slipping away in a blur of notifications, emails, and endless to-do lists,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And I just wanted to give the audience that I recently interviewed someone named Carrie Leibowitz, who's a behavioral scientist who studies boredom. And she recently came out with a new book called How to Winter. And what she's really talking about here is instead of being upset that it's winter, worrying how to get through it, treat it more as a gift.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And that this is a time that you have a season to quiet yourself down, that you can do more work for yourself, on yourself, reconnecting with others, and not treat it as a negative in your life, but using boredom as something that can fuel you through the rest of the year. So I thought I would just point that out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
This episode will give you the tools to take back control, design a more intentional life, and become truly indistractable. For those who want to dive even deeper, check out our episode starter packs at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify. With over 580 episodes, we've curated playlists on focus, productivity, emotional intelligence, and mindset. I'll see you next time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Nir, another one that I wanted to talk about was negativity bias, which is something that affects me. I think it affects all of us, and we have this tendency to focus on what's going wrong over what's going well. But I never before reading your book really looked at negativity bias as something that was linked to distraction. So I was hoping you might be able to bring some clarity to that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And how do we counteract this to stay focused?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Yeah, and I know from listening to you on previous episodes, you love that movie Social Dilemma because it so accurately portrays what's happening with getting all perspectives on the table. So it's a balanced view of what's happening with our distraction.
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Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
That's something I have learned very much over my career. And as I have written books is you need people who have the counter view constantly looking at what you're creating, because if you want someone to really believe what you're writing, you need to get all perspectives on there because there are so many different ways to see an issue that you're trying to lay out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And the more inclusive you can be about it, the longer it's going to, as you say, weather the test of time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Well, since I brought up time, I want to ask you a couple of questions about this concept of time. I talk a lot about on this show values, but I say we really need to align our values with our ambitions and our long-term aspirations. In Distractible, you talk about the importance of turning your values into time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored today to have Nir Eyal on PassionStruck. Welcome, Nir. Thank you so much. Great to be with you, John.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And I thought that was really important because I think that time and energy are two of the biggest variables that we can control and your values are how you should live. So turning them into time is a really interesting way to think about this. Could you explain that a little bit more?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Nir, you have spent your career around understanding human behavior, especially how technology shapes our actions, which is something I spent a lot of my career doing as well. What sparked your interest in studying distraction and how has that journey shaped your view on how so many people are living their lives today?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
One of the favorite sermons I ever heard a pastor do was the sermon was on the main thing about the main thing is keeping the main thing, the main thing, Stephen Covey-ish. But he spent the whole time of the sermon talking about your main thing is determined by your wallet and your calendar. And then he went into the Eisenhower matrix to explain how you need to think about that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
So if you want stronger connections, those are the two equations that you have to look at if you want more connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
competence about something in your life you have to look at those equations getting back to self-determination theories that's why i wanted to hit on it the other thing i really liked was your technique of time boxing because to me a lot of people say i never have time to focus on what really matters for me
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Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And I thought that this technique is so important because it can be applied to relationships, personal growth, self-care. Can you explain what it is and what's the best way to get started?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And the last thing I wanted to talk about is another concept that I have personally talked about in my solo episodes on this show, and that is this concept of transition points. You call them liminal moments. But the way I describe it is when I was in the military and I thought about when people got hurt, it wasn't when we were in the heat of a battle oftentimes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
It was during the transition points when we were letting our guard down, when boredom set in. When we got distracted, that nefarious things would happen and we would get caught off guard. And the same thing happens in our lives. As we transition from one activity to another, those are the moments when distractions creep in because that's when we check our email.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
That's when we check our social account. That's when we get distracted with something that's taking our focus away from the main thing we need to be working on. So how, through your research, can we become more aware of these liminal moments and use them as opportunities to strengthen our focus rather than cues to engage in distractions?
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Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
but as soon as 9 15 or whatever the next time box starts that's what i have to do next when i hear you talking about this concept to me it equates to flow state and an interesting statistic if you've never heard this before is if you can enter flow state mckenzie did this big examination of executives who use it compared to people who don't they're eight times more productive
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
they can accomplish in two hours what their peers are doing in an entire day or beyond just because of using this time boxing technique.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And Nir, last thing I wanted to ask you about is for someone who's looking to start living a more intentional life today, what's the first thing that they should do to stop being distracted and to begin focusing on what truly matters to them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Thank you for that. And lastly, where is the best place people can go to learn more about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Nir, it was such an honor to have you today. Thank you so much coming all the way from Singapore to us today. Thank you again.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And that's a wrap. On today's episode, what an insightful conversation with Nir Eyal. His expertise on focus, habit formation, and managing distractions is a powerful reminder that our time and attention are our most valuable assets, and learning how to master them is the key to living with greater intention.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
From understanding how internal triggers drive distraction to implementing practical strategies to reclaim control of our time, Nir has given us a blueprint for becoming truly indistractable. As we close out today's episode, I encourage you to reflect on a few key takeaways. What are the biggest internal triggers pulling you away from what truly matters?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
How can you create more traction in your daily life instead of falling into distractions? And what simple changes can you make today to reclaim control over your attention and design a more intentional life? If this conversation resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Your support helps continue bringing impactful conversations like this one to the PassionStruck community. And if someone in your life struggles with focus or feels overwhelmed by distractions, share this episode with them. It could be the game changer they need. For all the resources we discussed, including Nears books, Indistractable and Hooked, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And if you want to go even deeper, watch the video version of this episode on my John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you'll find more enticing conversations. Make sure to subscribe and join our growing community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
If today's episode inspired you and you'd like to bring these transformative insights into your organization or team, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to explore how we can work together to create meaningful change. Coming up next, I'm joined by Anne-Marie Anderson, an Emmy award-winning broadcaster, sports journalist, and leadership expert.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Anne-Marie has spent years breaking barriers in sports media, navigating high stakes environments, and coaching top athletes and executives on leadership, resilience, and communication. In our conversation, we'll dive into the mental frameworks of high performers, the art of storytelling, and how to build confidence in any field.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
So make sure you're subscribed and get ready for another powerful and inspiring episode.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value today, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Well, thank you for sharing that initial story. I'm not sure if you've read the most recent book by Jed Brewer, but a lot of what you were describing is what he talks about in the book and how we eat based on emotions and those emotions lead to habits. And so most of our eating dilemmas that we face is because of the habits that we form around eating, not because of the food itself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
I mean, that's something that you've written pretty extensively about is that all motivation is ultimately driven by that desire to escape discomfort. Why is it so important to identify what we're actually trying to avoid when we engage in these distracting behaviors?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 586. Whether you're a longtime listener or joining us for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You've joined a global movement dedicated to igniting passion, living with intention, and creating a life filled with purpose and impact.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
I get a lot of questions from people who are just starting out their career, kids who are in high school saying that as they go into the world, They're a little bit lost on what they should study, where they should dedicate their efforts because they feel like so many things are changing right in front of them and that the world that we live in today is going to drastically change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
And they're right. They are right. So if being indistractable is the key skill, what are some other skills that complement that they should be thinking about as they're looking at their future education and lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Nir Eyal on How to Win Back Your Time and Attention | EP 586
Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on our recent episodes. Last Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Laurie Santos, one of the world's leading experts on happiness and well-being. She revealed the biggest misconceptions we have about joy, why our minds often mislead us, and how we can cultivate a more fulfilling life through small, intentional changes.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
I aspirations of what I would become. And my sister got it too. I think my youngest sibling got it to a much lesser extent, but I always felt like I was held to these expectations. And for me, that's what caused me to pretend in many ways. And really because I didn't fit in because I felt this enormous amount of pressure, alcohol became the thing that made me feel normal.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
As the legendary lead vocalist of Lamb of God, acclaimed writer, photographer, and author of Just Beyond the Light, making peace with the wars inside our head, Randy has lived a life defined by transformation. From overcoming addiction to confronting mortality, his story is a testament to the power of intentionality, art, and self-discovery.
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And I remember I first really discovered it when I was about 14 years old. And it was my way that, as you were saying, I felt comfortable talking to girls. I felt more comfortable being in social circles. For you, was it the same gateway?
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in today's episode we'll explore how randy confronted alcoholism and the mindset shifts that led to lasting change we go into the connection between creativity and resilience why art can be a tool for survival we discuss how iconic spaces like the hotel chelsea and the cbgb shaped his artistic journey i ask what it truly means to matter and randy explores how we can all leave a meaningful legacy we also go into his insights on an unembracing uncertainty
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I want to get into that in a little bit, but I wanted to go somewhere else first. So I told you I was a fan of your music and I thought I would tell you the path to discovering it because I told you that I was really in a new wave alternative type of music. But when I was maybe 15 and a half, I was working at a supermarket called Giant. Not sure if you have them in Virginia or not.
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Well, I am still this young kid and I've always had this strong work ethic, but I had worked my way from bagger to working a cash register, to being a produce manager. And then the store manager says, I need someone to manage the truck crew. So I'm the scrawny 15 year old kid and.
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He puts me on the truck crew and to earn any value in the truck crew, you've got to empty the whole truck by yourself, which I had to do until the next person came on. But every single other person on the truck crew was definitely over 18. Most of them were in their 20s. And every single one of them was an ex-con. And they all loved to blare Metallica, Megadeth, all these heavy metal bands.
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And that became... my introduction, not only to heavy metal, but they all came to me with a proposition when I was that age that, Hey, do you want to become popular? We've got a great way to make it happen. We can buy you alcohol and you can be the provider to all the high schools in the area. So I started a sub business off of being on this truck crew.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
That's you. That was me, man. And it forever changed my relationship with alcohol.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
But it was interesting because those guys, even though they were, I grew up in York, Pennsylvania, we had a ton of gangs and they were all part of these different gangs, but it was the first time. I just felt like I could be whoever I wanted. They didn't care. I could say whatever I wanted. I could curse.
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As you were saying, this new genre of music was bringing forth these powerful lyrics and really allowing me to vent in many ways that I hadn't seen before. So it was a really introduction. It was a real interesting introduction into me starting to get this foundation of becoming who I was meant to be, so to speak.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
So in your early years of being in the band and being out on tour, what was that like for you? I mean, is it I've talked to some people who have been in the industry who tell me it's almost like they lose track of the city that they're in. I understand you really like to get into the history of the different locations you go into, but what was it like being on tour?
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
and finding clarity in the chaos of life. If you've ever felt lost, struggled to find meaning, or wondered how to turn pain into purpose, this episode is for you. Randy's journey is a reminder that intentionality isn't just about planning. It's about showing up, facing the hard things, and creating something that lasts.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Yeah. And I want to go there in a second, but I wanted to talk to you about creativity because as I was reading the book, um, you described creative energy. Your words were lingering in places where great artists have struggled to bring their genius to life. How has this belief shaped your own process? And how do you think the art that we create can truly transcend our deaths?
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Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on last week's incredible episodes. On Tuesday, Shigi Owishi... explored the science of psychological richness and why a fulfilling life isn't just about happiness and meaning. It's also about embracing challenge, novelty, and perspective-shifting experiences.
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it did and i find the same thing it's always interesting me to see the backstories of where authors write or where the beatles recorded their album or other bands like oh sure recently watching the story of flitwood mac making rumors and how that all came together
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And then how, when they did Tusk, the alcohol and drugs were tearing them apart along with all their relationship issues that they had in that band. But it's interesting to see the backstories because it's those backstories that so much influence a creative loop that you either produce shit or you produce some of the greatest things that have ever been written.
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Then on Thursday, Katherine Morgan Schaffler joined me to tackle the truth about perfectionism, breaking down how to harness it as a strength rather than as a burden. She revealed the five different types of perfectionists and how understanding each of them can transform your approach to success and self-worth.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Yeah, where I live here in the Tampa area, we have this venue called Janice Live. I'm not sure if you've ever played there. But I happen to be talking to Stephen Jenkins from Third Eye Blind. And I asked him about some of his favorite venues he's ever played. And he mentioned this one. And if you remember it, it's got like a tree in the facility.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
And he was telling me the story of how he climbed up the tree in the early days when, and was singing from one of the tree branches during the concert with people all around him, which is a great memory.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Absolutely. I've been known to climb things myself. I'm going to get back to CBGB with a question towards the end, but I want to go back to sobriety for a second. And you are very well read. So I'm certain that you have read a lot by Henry David Thoreau.
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Well, one of the things I've really explored is his term, quiet desperation. And this is something that I found where I was living in quiet desperation. I found myself, I was doing the same things. I was numbing the same feelings. I was hoping for change, but then never taking the steps to invoke the change. And I remember in one of these moments that I,
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I came to the conclusion that alcohol was ruining my life. And it, for me, it wasn't some dramatic rock bottom. It was, it happened to be on my birthday and it was this just quiet crushing realization that I was stuck in an endless loop.
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Each of these conversations sets the stage for today's deep dive into art resilience and personal transformation. Whether you're an artist, a leader, or someone navigating life's uncertainties, intentionality is the common thread. Do you want to go even deeper? If today's episode sparked something in you, check out our episode starter packs.
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What was that moment for you? When did you know something had to change?
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
curated playlists on themes like creativity, resilience, and personal mastery. You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. For weekly insights and strategies, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. Prefer watching these conversations?
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Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
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For me, and I can totally hear what you're saying. For me, it really gave me this false sense of control in this chaotic world that we live in. And I remember my time in Australia, I had so much fun because the Australians, man, they work hard, but they party even harder.
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Head over to our YouTube channel where you can catch all our episodes and share them with those in your life who are passionate about growth. Now, get ready for a conversation that will challenge you to rethink creativity, resilience, and what it truly means to live intentionally.
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And boy, can they drink. Yeah. The only people who sometimes I think, Drink more than them are the Japanese and you don't think about it, but in their culture, they try to get you so drunk during their 10 hour long dinners. And that's when they try to go for the jugular of getting what they want out of you.
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I've been there a bunch too. Not quite as many times as I've been to Australia. I've actually been to India more than I've been to either one of those two countries.
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What I found with alcohol that was so profound is that it dulled the edges for me, but it also dulled me. How did you go from like numbing the chaos to finding meaning in it?
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And if you're a regular listener with kids in the background, this is an episode I would encourage you to listen to without them there. Let's dive in with Randy Blight. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so absolutely honored today to have Randy Bly on passion struck.
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Welcome Randy. Hi, how are you doing, man? Good to see you, John. When your publicist reached out to me, I have to say I was a little bit taken aback. I've loved your music for a long time. but really didn't know the man behind it. And I think once we see the people behind the groups we love, creators that we've seen over the years, it's really a privilege to bring those stories to light.
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Randy, thanks for sharing that. I want to talk to you for a second about fear. Yes, for me, it's the worst. Yeah, for me, fear was like a liar. It kept me stuck for years. It told me I'd never be good enough. And I think it's part of what leads people to whatever addiction they have. It could be addiction to sex, drugs, alcohol, even work, shopping, all of it.
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Do you think fear is at the heart of why so many of us feel like we don't matter? Absolutely.
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So I'm really glad we get to do this today.
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For me, images like this, and it's easy to empathize with the people who are being impacted. But earlier this year, we got hit severely by the hurricanes and I had three feet of water in my house and we lost everything. Yeah. And so it was the first time in my life that I mean, I can honestly feel what these people are going through.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Well, you and I are about the same exact age. I grew up in Pennsylvania. just across the Mason-Dixon line in York, PA, and you grew up in Richmond, Virginia. And for me, music was always this really important aspect of my life. Now, I found myself
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I heard about an Olympics athlete who lost five of their gold medals. Tom Hanks lost his house. The Kardashians lost their house. Ben Affleck lost his house. I mean. The list goes on and on, but it just shows you how raw and real it is. And I mean, it's just crazy to think that all of a sudden you were just told you got to pick up and leave.
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I think I'm going to title this episode, how to fight the war inside. And this is really a common theme across the whole book. But when I quit drinking, I had to face who I really was. And even after quitting, I found that the mental battle, it doesn't just end. The cravings, the doubts, the old habits, they're still there.
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back then going more into bands like the smiths the cure that sort of thing you ended up yeah you ended up finding punk in your high school days yes but at the same time listening to the cure one of my favorite bands of all time have you heard their new record man i think it's one of the best ones they've ever put out and this last concert tour They're better now than they were in the mid-90s.
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Today, do you still feel like you're fighting the war inside or has the battlefield changed for you?
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
You're a bookaholic.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Well, since I brought up the Smiths at the beginning of this, I'm going to go into one of my favorite chapters, which reminds me of their song. Heaven knows I'm miserable now. And Mark Manson, Mark Manson wrote an endorsement for you in this chapter reminded me of Mark Manson's writing. You write in here. I can very easily justify with countless examples. Let's face it that people suck.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
There's just one problem, no matter how much I may feel like a space alien. And I often do like it or not. I am people. And where I wanted to go with this is I think there's so many people who feel this way and they see this world that we're living in now and that they're part of the noise, social media, the news, everything. And it makes us feel like we're spinning out of control.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
How do you find meaning and balance in all the chaos?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
I remember hearing the Cure song Push for the first time. And ever since that, it's always been one of my favorite, just that long intro into it. And I always wanted to ask him, could I use it for my podcast? Cause I love it so much.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Randy, I love what you just said throughout the entire segment. It's really the cornerstone of this entire podcast, and it means so much that you brought it up. I know the band is really a champion of fighting cancer, and you're using your music and the memory of a fan called The Duke to champion this cause. Can you tell us a little bit more about it?
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
I found it interesting as I was reading your book that we're going to talk today about, which is your new one, Just Beyond the Light, that your upbringing and mine in many ways were similar. Growing up, I always felt like I was a nerd. I was an introvert who loved books, loved diving into new ideas, was constantly asking questions. But in a way, I always felt like I didn't fit in. Yeah.
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If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck.
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I felt like I was an outsider and that feeling like I was an outsider really impacted my confidence when I was younger. Did you ever feel any of those sensations?
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Randy, I so appreciated and was so honored to have you come on the show today. Can you tell the audience a little bit more about how they can get in touch with you?
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What a phenomenal conversation that was with Randy Blythe. What an incredible conversation that was with Randy. His journey is such a powerful testament to the idea that resilience, creativity, and intentionality can transform even the darkest moments into something meaningful.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
His reflections on overcoming addiction, embracing discomfort, and using art as a force for survival remind us that true growth comes not from avoiding life's hardships, but from leaning into them with purpose. As you reflect on today's episode, ask yourself, Where in your life are you resisting discomfort instead of using it as a fuel for growth?
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How can you channel your struggles into something creative, impactful and lasting? What legacy are you building, not just in your work, but in how you show up every day? All the links to Randy's work, including his latest book, Just Beyond the Light, can be found in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Be sure to explore his writing, photography and music.
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It's a masterclass in storytelling, artistry, and the power of transformation. And if this conversation resonated with you, I'd be incredibly grateful if you could take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. It helps us continue bringing these impactful discussions to the Passion Start community.
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Randy Blythe on How to Make Peace With the Wars Inside Your Head | 574
Even better, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. You never know the impact it might have. Lastly, if you're looking to bring these kinds of transformative insights into your organization or team, visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking. to learn how we can work together to ignite purpose, connection, and emotional mastery where it matters most.
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Coming up next on Passion Struck, we're diving into the science of optimizing your mind and body with Dr. Scott Schur. Scott is a friend of mine, and he's a pioneer in health optimization medicine. And in our conversation, we explore cutting-edge breakthroughs in hyperbaric oxygen therapy, nootropics, as well as a much-needed deep dive into GABA, the brain's key neurotransmitter for common focus.
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If you're looking for ways to sharpen your mental clarity, boost resilience, and take your performance to the next level, you don't want to miss it.
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But the key also is to thank you for being part of the passion struck movement. Remember the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's conversation, share it with someone who could benefit. Most importantly, apply what you've learned so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion struck.
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welcome to episode 574 of passion strap whether you're a long time listener or tuning in for the first time i am absolutely thrilled you're here you're now part of a global movement dedicated to living with intention unlocking your potential and making what truly matters matter most. So let me ask you something.
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I really want to make today's discussion real for the listeners because I think it's a really important discussion we're going to get into. And my listeners have heard me talking a lot about the need to matter. And I think so many people today, you just look at the statistics, 64% of people feel excluded at work. 74% of people feel excluded from the communities they belong in and 20% feel like
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They don't belong in any aspect of their life. And for you, when you say you didn't feel like you belonged at that point, that you didn't matter, what did that feel like?
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Well, I hear people today describe themselves as feeling battered, broken, lonely, helpless. And I think there are all symptoms of what you, what I, and I found myself for years and years putting on a mask because I was trying to project a version of myself that I thought society had to see was.
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What if embracing discomfort, facing your fears head on, and channeling your struggles into creativity could actually transform your life? What if art isn't just a means of expression, but a lifeline? a way to forge meaning, resilience, and purpose. Today's guest, Randy Blight, is here to explore these questions and more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I love how you bring up the suck because that's something that's a famous slogan of the SEAL teams, embrace the suck. And I think people think about SEALs and they think they go through BUDS, Basic Underwater Demolition School, and they immediately get the Trident. And that's not the case. Typically, it takes another 18 months, two years to finally pin on the Trident.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And I have many friends and classmates who are SEALs. And what they tell me is, Anyone can get through a day of SEAL training. What the difficulty comes is, as you're describing, is it's getting up every single day, realizing that you're going to have to endure the suck and facing it and having the willpower to get through it and persevering. And that's what shapes them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
The same thing is what you're describing shapes any passion that you want to do. So thanks for bringing that up. And many people have misconceptions about pageants. And you have said, as I've listened to and watched in other interviews, that pageantry shares many of the same core values with the military, such as leadership, public speaking, community service.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
If you're new to the show, we've got over 540 episodes designed to inspire transformation. Not sure where to begin? Head to passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify to check out our episode starter packs, which are curated by themes like leadership, mental health, and personal mastery.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What do you think people misunderstand the most about pageants? And what surprised you when you got involved?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Thank you for sharing that. And becoming Miss America is no small feat. And I think that there's this stereotype that people have about Miss America, that they would think that you're different from a lot of the women who compete. But as I have come to understand it, as I have been studying this more and more, the talents that the women have are incredible.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And the questions that you guys are asked during the competition really require a deep intellect to be able to answer them. I was hoping that maybe you can talk about that experience and some of the questions that were thrown at you and some of the other women who competed.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And if you're looking for even more tools to take these lessons deeper, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com, where I share weekly exercises, insights, and behind-the-scenes stories to keep you inspired. Now let's take a moment to reflect on last week's conversations, which were nothing short of transformational.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
The other thing that I think was so unique about your approach to the pageant was your talent performance. You did a monologue about your first solo flight, which was really, I thought, unconventional, but very impactful. What inspired that choice and how did you prepare to deliver such a unique performance?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
First, I sat down with Jessica Zweig, bestselling author of The Light Work. Jessica shared how embracing the concept of light has empowered her personal and spiritual growth. We talked about reframing inner darkness, unlocking infinite potential, and living a more inclusive, love-filled life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And I've heard you talk about, people have asked you the question, how do you feel about being a boundary breaker? And you always go to all the women who preceded you and all the other leaders who preceded you to break boundaries. But what you have done is pretty remarkable to be the first active duty military officer to earn this title.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What does it mean to break this barrier and how have those others before you inspired your journey?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I think that's such an important message. And I'll go back to my story about Wendy Lawrence, who became an astronaut. She was in the second class of females at the Naval Academy. I think it was the class of 81. And to put even more pressure on, her father was the superintendent during that time.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Next, we welcome George Appling, author of Don't Settle, how to make the most of your one extraordinary life. George shared his insights on resilience, mindset, and intentional action to create a life that aligns with your deepest passions. His message on never settling is one we can all take to heart as we navigate our own paths to purpose. And if you'd prefer to watch these,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So I can't even imagine what that would have been like, especially when he kept showing up on the hall to go visit her or would call her on the phone and they come to her room and say, The soup's on the phone for you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
But I also interviewed Vice Admiral Sandy Stowes, who was one of the first females to graduate from the Coast Guard Academy, ended up coming back to be their superintendent. And she told me, that typically during that time, about 60% of Coast Guard graduates would make it through. But for the first classes of females, it was under 30% just because they were harassed and tried to push out so much.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So just hearing their stories and how they had, I guess they felt that they had to be even better to make it through and to push through is just an amazing story for both of them to see where they've ended up. So one of the things that being Miss America allows you to do is to have a platform of sorts, because you're on all kinds of media programs.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
In this one year, I can't even imagine what it's been like, the whirlwind you've been through. But for you, It's allowed you to do something that's very personal and has the ability to influence people worldwide. That is to talk about the Whitney Marsh Foundation that was founded in memory of your mom, which is such a powerful and personal initiative.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Can you tell us how that began and what you hope to achieve through its work?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
That's such a noble mission. I have a friend, Bill, who has fought cancer now six times, and I actually had him on this program. But what he told me, I hadn't really thought about it through this lens, is that you have to look when you're fighting cancer almost as if it becomes a business, because people don't realize
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
You can also head over to our YouTube channels at John R. Miles and Passion Struck Clips and subscribe to weekly doses of video inspiration. Now let's jump in to an episode that will not only challenge your perspective, but also inspire you to rethink what's possible in your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
that in order to get the treatment, you need to go to the best place that they can provide it. And oftentimes, as you're saying, that's not in close proximity to you. So you have to figure out the logistics of how do you get there? How do you cover the costs? How do you get people to care for your home and potentially pets and other things while you're going there or if you have kids, et cetera?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So there's a real need to have cancer treatment closer to where people live because it's difficult to get that support. What are your thoughts on that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
People who are regular listeners to this know that my sister passed away earlier this year, also from pancreatic cancer. She first developed it when she was 46. And I remember after she had gotten the Whipple surgery and it ended up coming back, she was really put in this place after they did several rounds of chemo that she had to do clinical trials.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And I remember she was having to do it in San Antonio, which meant that in order to do that, the logistics were twice a month. She had to find a way to get down there to San Antonio. She had a son who was in middle school. So it was very challenging. So I just look at what she went through and how important that could be.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So because of your mom and my sister, you and I are both, we both hold pancreatic cancer awareness and research close to our hearts. And I know we both try to support PanCan as much as we can, who has made some huge strives in both increasing the awareness and prolonging the lifespan of so many people who are faced with this devastating disease. What progress do you see as being made in pancreatic
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Today, we're joined by Madison Marsh, the reigning Miss America, who is redefining what it means to lead, serve and break barriers. At just 23 years old, Madison has made history as the first active duty Air Force officer to hold the Miss America title. but her impact extends far beyond the crown.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
cancer research and treatment, and how can people support this cause?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
the needs that we can meet in the coming years i think that's so important and i think one of the keys to pancreatic cancer is early detection because the most feasible treatment that they can give you is the whipple surgery which has had the most profound effect on people having longevity yet it's often caught so late and i'm happy to hear that there are companies like epi one
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
who have now found blood work tests that people can take that will tell you if you've got the precursors for this so that you can get examined more regularly if you are one of those people who meet those criteria. And I hope so much more of that comes.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Plus, I really hope that they find a way that they can utilize immunotherapy and find ways to penetrate the membrane of pancreatic cancer, which has been really problematic in treating it with chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and everything else. So those are some of the big things I hope to see in the future. So you have really used your platform to amplify the foundation's mission.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What do you think has been the most rewarding moment in your advocacy journey so far?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
She's a tireless advocate for pancreatic cancer awareness and a passionate voice for breaking stereotypes about women and pageantry and the military. In this engaging and thought-provoking conversation, we cover how she's balancing dual roles.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I had Maria Menounos on the podcast earlier this year to highlight her journey, and I'm really grateful for the work that she is also doing to try to help get the word out about this with the platform that she has. Are there additional stories from the PanCan family that you'd like to share of inspiration and to give listeners hope?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I mean, those stories are truly inspirational and thank you for highlighting that. And I'll make sure We put all the resources to PanCan and the past interviews that I've done in here as well, because I've had Julie on the podcast and the chief science officer and some other members as well of their community. So I wanna go back to Miss America for a second.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
In our discussion, Madison discusses how she navigates the unprecedented demands of her military career while embracing the responsibilities of being Miss America. We go into pageantry with purpose. Madison's journey into pageantry as a passion project and her commitment to leaving a legacy that continues to break barriers.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I have a classmate from the Naval Academy who ended up playing professional football for the Green Bay Packers, actually won a Super Bowl ring. And I know for him, he had a lot of trial and tribulation trying to convince the Secretary of the Navy at the time to allow him to play. It wasn't the easiest thing for him to do. I understand from following you that
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
As you were pursuing this, you were very open with the Air Force about the fact that you were doing the pageant. You went to your commanding officer and leadership chain and kind of said, the chances of me becoming Miss America are very slim, one out of 52, but you wanted to prepare for it, et cetera. So how has the Air Force supported your role as Miss America?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
We discuss how she's reframing Miss America, debunking misconceptions about the competition, and showcasing the intelligence, leadership, and talent that define modern Miss America contestants.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
It's got to be a lot doing this and being in the military full time. How do you balance doing both and how do you put 100% into being able to do both?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
We go through her dedication to a life of service, Madison's personal connection to military service, her pride in safeguarding freedoms, and her mission to inspire the next generation by showing them what's possible.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I think that's such an important message, whether you're in the military or you're a leader overseeing people in a civilian role. It's showing up for the people around you. And I think that's one of the reasons we have so much disengagement today is because people don't feel like they hold significance in their roles.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
They don't feel like the companies treat them as if they matter and that what they're doing is important. that being reinforced and people being treated for their individual talents. So I think you're really onto something there with what you were just talking about.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I looking back when you first won this award, you knew if you were going to win it, that you were going to be thrust into the limelight, you were going to have to be on all these TV programs, etc. But once you went from imagining it to actually doing it, how big a chasm did that turn out to be?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
then lastly we go into advocating for change her work as the founder of the whitney marsh foundation where she's dedicated to raising awareness for pancreatic cancer and how she's turning a personal tragedy into a platform for hope and action madison's story is a powerful testament to living with purpose the courage to challenge societal norms and the resilience to turn life's greatest challenges into opportunities for growth
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I used to go to church in Austin, Texas with Matthew McConaughey. And for about 18 months, he got to come religiously and be himself with his kids and his wife. And it was fantastic because he was just He just wanted to go to church. He just wanted to have a place where he could be himself, I felt, by observing him.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And then all of a sudden, I guess some people put up social media posts that they had seen him there. And so the paparazzi started showing up and I really felt bad for him. And being in this role, it's gotta give you some understanding of what it's like to be a celebrity and the challenges that they face.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What's one thing that you would say to listeners about when someone's in that position, a lot of people say, Matthew, he's this movie star, he deserves this scrutiny that he gets and he shouldn't have a public life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Whether you're intrigued by the behind the scenes realities of balancing two high profile careers, inspired to use your platform for advocacy, or simply looking for actionable ways to live more intentionally, this episode is for you. So get ready to go beyond the crown and into the heart of service, impact, and legacy with Madison Marsh, Miss America.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
As the face of the Air Force, which you've become, probably not even wanting to be that, but it's literally what you've become, and Miss America, how do you see your role in inspiring the next generation to consider military service? And what message do you hope to share with potential recruits about the opportunities and values in the Air Force, but in all the services?
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Thank you so much for that. And I completely agree with you. We need leaders of character protecting our freedom. So we started this whole episode talking about outer space and your desire to become an astronaut. And I want to use that to lead into a quote that I've heard you talk about. You said the sky is not the limit and the only person stopping you is you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
How has this philosophy guided you through the challenges you faced and how do you hope to inspire others to embrace the mindset in their own lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored today to have Madison Marsh, Miss America, on the podcast. Welcome, Madison.
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Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
oftentimes what gets to become the barrier for people pursuing their dreams or not is self-belief. What would be your advice to listeners and viewers on how you would suggest they build that self-belief that they can do anything they put their mind to?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Okay. And the last thing I just want to ask you and leave with is your mom. What's a little thing that she did that stayed with you forever?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Well, I think Webster should put in under psychological wealth what you just talked about because that's really what it is. Well, Madison, thank you so much for being here and congratulations again. And I know you're probably happy and sad to see this phase of your life come to a close, but I'm sure you're exhausted at this point. Thank you again for coming on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So for my regular listeners of Passion Struck, they know I went to the Naval Academy and I always like to get the background paths to those who end up going and serving. I understand you grew up in Arkansas and you dreamed of becoming an astronaut, which I love this because one of my classmates, Chris Cassidy, was the chief astronaut. Love Chris.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
It was really an honor to have you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What an inspiring conversation with Madison Marsh. Her story of breaking barriers as the first active duty Air Force officer crowned Miss America, her relentless advocacy for pancreatic cancer awareness, and her ability to balance service, leadership, and purpose is nothing short of extraordinary.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Madison's journey reminds us of the power of resilience, intentionality, and using our passions to make a difference in the lives of others. As you reflect on today's episode, think about this. What legacy do you want to leave? How can you take your passions and transform them into a purpose that not only fulfills you, but also serves others?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Like Madison demonstrated, our challenges don't define us. They shape the mission we're called to fulfill. All the links to Madison's work, including the Whitney Marsh Foundation and her advocacy for pancreatic cancer awareness, will be in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Please use those links to learn more. It's a great way to support her mission. and the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
You can also find this episode and more on YouTube and check out our sponsors and exclusive deals at passionstruck.com slash deals. Supporting those who support the show helps us keep bringing you these impactful conversations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
For more resources to help you live a purpose-driven life, head over to passionstruck.com where you can take our Passion Struck quiz or sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter packed with weekly insights, exercises, and challenges to ignite your potential. If Madison's story resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
It makes a huge difference in helping us reach others with these powerful stories. And don't forget to share this episode with someone who could use a dose of inspiration and encouragement today. Now, here's a sneak peek of what's coming up next on Passion Struck. I'm joined by Caroline Adams Miller.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
a trailblazing expert in the field of positive psychology and goal setting, and author of Big Goals, The Science of Setting Them, Achieving Them, and Creating Your Best Life. And our conversation will dive into the science of achieving big goals, cultivating grit, and finding lasting happiness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Caroline's practical insights and actionable strategies will help you push past mediocrity and unlock your best life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Thank you for spending time with us today. Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Let's keep building this community and living what we listen. Until next time, live life, passion strong.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
What sparked your fascination with space and how did those early ambitions shape your path to going to the Air Force Academy?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
When I was a mid, my physics instructor was Wendy Lawrence. Wendy became the first Naval Academy female alumni to go to space. And she's been my mentor now ever since, so 30 plus years. But I remember talking to her and she told me very similarly that she saw this path to the Naval Academy, then becoming a pilot. doing all the things that she needed to become an astronaut, which she did.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So you end up going to the Air Force Academy, and this is right after your mom, who we're gonna talk a lot about today, had a very heroic battle with pancreatic cancer. How did her passing in 2018 impact your journey and your aspirations at that point?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
The academies are all known for being rigorous. And I remember my plea beer and the stresses that were thrown upon me. I can't imagine having to navigate that environment while still grieving the loss of a parent. How difficult was that for you during those, when you were first at the academy?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I have written a book called Passion Struck and in it, I describe my experience at the Naval Academy and the importance that grit had, the combination of perseverance and passion and helping me get through. How did your early struggles at the Academy help you develop grit and helped you become who you are today?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 547 of the PassionStruck podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And I think the Air Force Academy is similar to the Naval Academy in that you're judged on your academics, of course, but you're also judged on your military bearing. And then there's always a physical component to it as well. So what people don't understand about the grading system is it's much more complex.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
When I was there, our grades compared to people at civilian schools were much lower because of the different elements of it. Um, but it is definitely a challenging time. And there are often aspects of it where you're trying to seek out fun because you have so much stress on you that you're looking for an escape.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
For me, I kind of did that because I was a division one runner, but even with that, that brings on even more stress. And as I've done research on you, your interest in pageantry came during this challenging time as an outlet for fun and personal growth. Is that correct?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
So how did you end up doing that? Because looking back, I just can't imagine doing everything that we had to do and then layering another challenge on top of it where you would have to prep and do all the things that you do. So how did you go about that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
My plebe year roommate, and we were company mates the entire time I was there, was a Rhodes Scholar. And I know just how rigorous it was for him to go through that process. So congratulations for you for doing that. This whole podcast is really about. how intentional choices shape who we become. And you're just removed from the Air Force Academy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And right now, all the services are having issues with recruitment. And the same thing goes with the service academies. The number of people who are applying in some ways is down from what it used to be. What made you have the intentional choices to pursue these passions
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
And how would you recommend young listeners who might be tuning in today could make the decision to pursue something hard like going to the Air Force Academy or like trying out for a pageantry? Because I think oftentimes we end up taking the easier path.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Madison Marsh on Courage, Confidence, and Compassion
I'm your host, John Miles, and as always, I want to begin by thanking you for being here and for your commitment to living more intentionally and passionately. Whether you've been with us from the start or tuning in for the first time, you're part of an incredible community focused on growth, purpose, and igniting passion in every area of life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Before diving in to today's episode, let's take a moment to reflect on the game-changing insights from last week. On Tuesday, Max Lugavere shared his powerful journey from personal tragedy to becoming a leading voice in brain health and nutrition. We explored actionable steps for cognitive well-being and how the choices we make today shape our brain health tomorrow.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
On Thursday, I sat down with Esther Dyson to discuss how technology is shaping human connection and how we can reclaim our humanity in an increasingly digital world. Esther's perspective on systems change and fostering meaningful relationships in the digital age was truly transformative.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And what you just said is really profound. So thank you for going there because my questions are not typically softballs. They're meant to invoke taking you to places you might not have gone on other podcasts.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Part of where I'm going with this, and I'll just give you some more context, is we need resilience now more than perhaps ever that I've seen in my lifespan. However, I am really coming to the belief that we have some forces at play. One is what I refer to as the disease of disconnection. We are so focused outside ourselves that we're losing touch with our very selves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And then what this is causing, I believe, which is leading to this feeling of isolation, of loneliness, these chronic things that we're seeing is a chronic state of people around the world feeling unmattering. They're losing their significance. And because they're so disconnected with themselves, that gap of disconnection is only growing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And then in my solo episode, I explored how a sense of hope helps us feel like we matter to ourselves, to others, and to the world. If you're looking to build on these insights, our episode starter packs are here to guide you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And where I'm going to take this is because I think it's a real huge issue and it's part of where I am really trying to step in because I think so many people are hurting and they're really stuck here and it's only getting worse. You started your mindfulness practices in 1974-ish, if I have my research correct. I started it in the weirdest of places, I think.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
I was in the military stationed in Rota, Spain, and I got assigned to Naval Special Warfare Unit 10, which is a SEAL base in Rota that is more of a training command, but I was starting a new echelon there for the National Security Agency. Long story short is it was the least place, I thought I was going to start getting involved in yoga and mindfulness practices.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
But it was really interesting because the seals really used it to gain a better sense of purpose and belonging and as well as to have clarity over their mission and their intentions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
So how do you see this understanding that we gain from mindfulness support our deeper sense of purpose and belonging?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
With over 550 episodes, we've curated playlists on topics like personal growth, mental and emotional well-being, relationships, connection, behavioral science and psychology, and living with significance.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
you can find them on spotify or at passionstruck.com starter packs don't forget to subscribe to my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for weekly inspiration exclusive tools and strategies to put these lessons into practice and if you prefer video all our episodes are available on our youtube channels so be sure to subscribe and share let's talk about today's interview imagine waking up each day with a deep sense of calm knowing that no matter what challenges come your way you have the strength to navigate them
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
What you were just saying in some ways reminded me of some of the work by Richard Ryan and Edward Deasy on self-determination theory. Exactly. Competence and relatedness drive so much of our intrinsic values, which we're going to be exploring here a little bit more. Rick, I want to go back to negativity bias since it's something that you brought up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Wasn't really going to go down here, but let's tackle this because I think it's important. The brain's negativity bias often keeps us stuck, as we know, in patterns of fear, stress or self-doubt, even when we know intellectually that focusing on the positive can and should transform our mindset. So I've been working on this article between how do you bridge the gap between theory and action?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
So I'm gonna ask it to you in this way. What do you suggest for listeners on how they can bridge the gap between understanding the concept of negativity bias?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Imagine relationships that don't just exist, but truly thrive, where every connection feels purposeful, authentic, and rooted in mutual care. In a world that often leaves us feeling fragmented, rushed, and unseen, these aren't just lofty ideals, they're necessities for a fulfilling life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
So thank you for bringing him up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
But how do we reclaim this sense of resilience and connection when everything around us seems designed to pull us apart? How do we rise above the noise to build lives of purpose, presence, and belonging? Enter Dr. Rick Hansen, a visionary in the science of resilience and happiness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Dr. Hansen is a psychologist, senior fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, and a New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including Making Great Relationships, Resilient, and Hardwiring Happiness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Thank you for sharing that. That practice of taking in the good is such a profound way to rewire the brain, especially in moments when negativity feels overwhelming. And when I've gotten this same question sent to me, like, how do you advise people get over this bias? People often build a bucket list.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And one of the things I tell people to do instead is to have a reverse bucket list and to post it on a wall by them. And what I mean by reverse bucket list is write down all the accomplishments that you've made in your life that when you look back, you would have felt it would have been almost impossible for you to do them or just a pipe dream and refer back to that when you feel
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
With over a million copies sold in English alone, his work has been translated into 33 languages and has helped countless people create lasting inner strength and deeper connections. Through decades of research, contemplative practice, and helping millions worldwide, Rick has uncovered the profound interplay between our brains, our emotions, and our relationships.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
these biases, this negativity coming into you, because that is a great way of visually taking in the good and giving yourself a reminder of how much you've already accomplished.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
His work answers some of the most pressing questions of our time. How can we train our brains to focus on joy even in the face of adversity? What practical steps can we take to transform disconnection into belonging? How do we build relationships that nurture not only others, but also ourselves?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
I really like that you brought it up because I don't like to just give the listeners theory. I like to give them practical application, which is what you just went into. Yeah. So I want to read something from your book because I've brought up helplessness a couple of times and you had a beautiful thing that you wrote. Agency is the opposite of helplessness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
You go into research by Marty Seligman and others have shown us that we're very susceptible to acquiring learned helplessness through experience of powerlessness and mobilization and defeat. And then you go into It typically takes many experiences of agency to compensate for a single experience of helplessness, which again goes into this negativity bias that we've been talking about.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
To prevent helplessness, you write, the first thing to do is to gradually unlearn it. And you really go into this power of choice, which I talk about. Look for experiences in which you are making a choice or influencing an outcome. And I often say our choices
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
don't look at the big choices we make, look at the micro choices because they either lead you to a valley of despair or a waterfall of fulfillment. What are some of the choices that people may be making that they should be considering looking at it from a different approach. Meaning I think we get so caught up in either or thinking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
In today's conversation, Rick unpacks these questions and offers actionable insights drawn from neuroscience and ancient wisdom. Whether you're grappling with stress, seeking deeper relationships, or simply yearning for more meaning in your life, This episode will provide a roadmap to not just survive, but to truly thrive.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And one of the things I really talk about is some of the work of Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis and both and thinking, which is really an Eastern world concept. But I don't know if you want to go there or maybe just talk about choices, but I really enjoyed this portion of the book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Together, we'll explore how to fortify your inner core, reshape your habits, and cultivate a life where resilience, connection, and joy are not just fleeting, but foundational. His work has inspired people worldwide, and today, I'm excited to bring his wisdom to the PassionStruck community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, thank you for sharing that. And I feel like I could talk to you for four hours because we're barely doing justice to your book. And I think it's a good thing because your books are really so deep. And I think that's why they've been popular with so many millions of people. And I highly encourage the audience to go out there and pick up a copy of Resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
So I want to move on now to outer connection. So once we've developed resilience and inner strength, how do these qualities influence our ability to create meaningful relationships?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Hey, PassionStruck family. I am absolutely thrilled today to bring you Dr. Rick Hansen. Rick, welcome to the PassionStruck podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
There's a Buddhist term called Karuna or compassion, and it teaches us to act with empathy. How do you believe that cultivating compassion in our relationships reflects the idea that everyone inherently matters?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
How does cultivating compassion in our relationships reflect the idea that everyone inherently matters? Because you were talking really, really strongly about the need to matter to ourselves. I believe that we need to matter to others, but then we also need to make others feel like they matter. And to me, those are the three concentric circles of mattering.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Mattering to ourselves, mattering to our others, and making others feel like they matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, thank you. And one of the ways I initially discovered you was through your book on happiness. And as I was doing research, I actually went back and listened to an episode of School of Greatness you were on. a number of years ago. And I went back to that because I really liked the way that Lewis did that interview with you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
You know?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
But it was really nostalgic for me because as I was thinking about doing my own podcast, yours was one of those episodes as I was studying how to conduct a podcast that I originally listened to. So it was fun to go back and hear it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, I'm trying to do my small part because my tagline is just as Disney, their goal is to create the happiest place on earth. I'm trying to create the most intentional place on earth because I think the more intentional we are,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
globally about the choices that we're making to, and how we're showing up, not only for ourselves, but how we're showing up more fully and authentically in our relationships is going to influence how the whole world is changing and kind of closing this inner and outer growth that we've been exploring on this whole podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, just think about it from a different context. Imagine your role in a company is in sales and you might be saying, what the heck does mattering have to do with sales? Well, isn't the key to selling something to someone else, making them feel that they inherently matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Correct. So there you go.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
It was a great discussion. And during part of it, Lewis just makes this comment that your voice was so soothing to him that he felt himself almost going in a mindful state. And that's where I was this morning at 5.30 on my walk. And as I'm listening to this, I look up in the sky and all of a sudden it just... brightens up and I could see a SpaceX launch in the distance from where I am in Tampa.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
I'm going to have to look more into that. Maybe I'll even do an episode on it so I can do the research to understand it better.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, Rick, I'm going to wrap it up your work. is such a gift to those seeking transformation. And it's been so profound for so many. We've touched on just the tip of the iceberg today, but if there's one takeaway you hope listeners gain from today's conversation, what would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, I love ending there. And Burke, there are lots of places where people can buy your books. I'll put a bunch of them in the show notes. What are some other things that you would like to highlight? You've got a great podcast, over 15 million downloads yourself on the podcast. What are some other things?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, maybe the best thing is where's the best place for people to go if they want to learn more about you and everything that you're doing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And so it was really cool listening and seeing the spaceship going up. So that's a nice moment.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Yeah. And the last thing I'll say is if anyone in the audience ever has an opportunity to see Rick do a keynote speech, they're phenomenal. And he shares the stage with people like Sharon Salzberg and Deepak Chopra and others, and really meaningful. So I would also encourage you if you get the opportunity to go see him speak live. Well, Rick, thank you so much for being on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
It was such an honor to have you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
what an incredible conversation that was with dr rick hansen from his groundbreaking insights on resilience and mindfulness to his practical strategies for rewiring your brain for happiness today's discussion has been an absolute master class in creating a more intentional connected and fulfilling life dr hansen's wisdom on building an unshakable inner core and fostering meaningful relationships reminds us that transformation starts with small purposeful actions
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Whether it's practicing gratitude, setting healthy boundaries, or reframing challenges as opportunities for growth, his tools provide a powerful roadmap to strengthen your mindset, deepen your connections, and bring more joy into your life. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on the insights shared today and consider how you can apply them in your own journey.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, I'm going to tie this in, I promise, because I know you love nature. And one of the things I found in my research is you specifically love mountain climbing. And it's something that I haven't done that much of, but when I have done it, I've really loved it as well. How for you have those experiences in nature and mountain climbing shaped your understanding of mindfulness and resilience?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Remember, change begins with intention, and every small step you take can lead to profound shifts in your life. If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating and review. Your feedback not only helps us reach more listeners, but also keeps the Passion Struck movement growing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And don't forget to share this episode with someone who could benefit, because sparking change in others is how we amplify impact together. You can find links to Dr. Hansen's transformative books like Resilient, Making Great Relationships, and Hardwiring Happiness, along with all the resources discussed in today's episode in the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And if you'd like to watch this conversation, the video version is available on my YouTube channel. Before we go, I want to remind you that I'm dedicated to sharing these ideas through speaking engagements with organizations and teams.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
If today's conversation inspired you and you'd like to explore how these concepts can drive intentional change in your workplace or organization, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more. Let's ignite transformation together. Now, here's a sneak peek at what's coming up next on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
I'm joined by the brilliant Adam Galinsky, a world-renowned expert on leadership, decision-making, and creativity. We'll be diving in to how to expand your influence, make bolder decisions, and tap into your full potential. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
As always, the fee for this show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit. And remember, apply what you hear so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, Passion Strike fam. Welcome back to episode 559.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Absolutely do. And here in Florida, where I live, the closest thing we have to it is an indoor rock climbing center. But my parents have lived in Chattanooga on Signal Mountain or Walden's Ridge, Signal Mountain is a town on it, for over 30 years. And there's some great rock climbing there. Yeah. But I remember being a younger man and I love that movie.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Not sure if you remember it by Robert Redford called A River Runs Through It. It was one of Brad Pitt's first movies. And I got to, shortly after I saw the movie, I actually got to go to, I actually got to go to Montana for the first time. And there is something, as you're talking about the vastness of
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
at that point in Montana's history, just how vast it felt when you were in the rivers or looking at the mountains there and really a deep down connection as you're looking at that to one, how small we are in the big scheme of things, but also how central we are to it as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
I am really glad you brought up Dacher because I really love his work on moral beauty. And I wanted to give a highlight to Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center because I'm not sure how many of the listeners know about it, but in it, they're really exploring the science of how do you create a meaningful life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
And you're looking at things like altruism, happiness, which Dacher studies, compassion, intellectual humility, social connection, empathy. How has being part of that center shaped your own work?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Well, thank you very much for touching on that. I'll make sure I put a link to it as well in our show notes so listeners can tune in and understand some of the great research that's going on there. Well, Rick, today I'm really excited about where we're going to take this interview.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
We'll be having a conversation about how resilience and relationships are interconnected, highlighting how our intentional choices, which is what this podcast is really about, in our inner lives, explored through your book, Resilient, directly affect our ability to foster meaningful connections in our outer world, where we're going to deep dive into your book. making great relationships.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
Your dedication to living intentionally to leave a mark that truly matters makes this community so incredible. And I'm grateful for each and every one of you. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome. You're now part of a global movement committed to igniting purpose and creating lives filled with meaning and connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Rick Hanson on How to Focus On the Good in Life | EP 559
So I'm going to start with resilient. In this book, you start with recognizing strengths like mindfulness and compassion. How do those practices help individuals reconnect with their true selves and overcome many of the feelings that we're experiencing today, like isolation, loneliness, people who are feeling helpless?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
First, on Tuesday, we explored deep spiritual and personal transformation with Natalie Namaste, who shared her insights on the mattering mindset and how we can heal from within to step into our highest potential. Then I sat down with Dr. Sam Wilkinson to discuss the neuroscience of resilience decision making and how our brains adapt to life's biggest challenges.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So when I reached out to you and I was talking to Katie, part of the reason for doing this interview is I'm currently writing a book on mattering and your insights are deeply resonant with what I've been exploring. But when I first started researching this, maybe a year ago, 18 months ago, I originally reached out to Angela and Katie and Ethan Cross and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
a number of Cassie Holmes and a bunch of others. And I couldn't find a single scientist who was, people were studying happiness, people were studying like Edward Deasy and Richard Ryan's self-determinations theory. But the only person I could really find who was truly focused on belonging was Jeff Cohen and then Gordon Flett, who teaches at the University of York.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And it really struck me that as much as mattering matters, that it's not a bigger area of exploration. But as I've looked at this more deeply, I think mattering impacts so many different things that there is a lot of science that's gone through it, but just different lens. So you have studied happiness extensively. How do you think happiness and mattering intersect?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
A feeling significant connects to our overall well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Well, I'm glad you brought that up because I know another person that you've spoken about on the podcast is Dacher Keltner. And I love Dacher. I love every time I get to have him on the show. And I think what you were just describing there is his concept of moral beauty, that people feel awe more times than anywhere else when they see someone perform an act of generosity to someone else.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
If you miss either of these episodes, I highly recommend going back to listen to them. They're packed with insights that will transform the way you approach your own growth and well-being. Now, let me ask you this. What if the happiness we chase isn't the happiness we truly need? What if the stories we tell ourselves about fulfillment are actually leading us astray?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Is that where you were going with it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I want to take this a step further. You gave some great statistics early on. I've recently been reading the report from the belonging barometer that the American, I'm not sure if you've read this or not, but it's American Immigration Council put together. But the results were quite startling, I should say. 64% of Americans don't feel that they're included at work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
74% feel excluded in their communities. And the one that kind of blew me away was that 17% feel that they don't belong in any circumstance. So it's a huge issue. And as I've explored this, I am terming it the disease of disconnection and you're bringing up the need to connect with others. But in many ways, I feel we're disconnected from ourselves. What are your thoughts on that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And how do we break free from the misconceptions that keep us from experiencing genuine joy, meaning, and connection? That's exactly what we're diving into today with one of the world's foremost experts on happiness and well-being, Dr. Laurie Santos.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Yeah, because that's where I wanted to come back. I'm glad you're doing it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
She is a distinguished professor of psychology at Yale University, the creator of Psychology and the Good Life, the most popular course in Yale's 300-year history, and the host of the internationally renowned podcast, The Happiness Lab, which has surpassed 100 million downloads. In today's conversation, we explore the biggest myths about happiness and how our brains mislead us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
of strategies and all this work that's going after something that ultimately isn't going to be the thing that gives you a lot of fulfillment and i just want to take that and just bring in self-determination theory here because really what edward dc's initial work found was that we were focused on so much external motivation and that wasn't what was really driving
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
people to be happy or to really succeed. It was really the intrinsic motivation. So I know from my time, my background is I was a senior executive in Fortune 50 companies, eventually became C-level at a $60 billion tech company. And I always say I reached that pinnacle, and yet I felt more disconnected from myself than I ever had before in my life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And I found that what was happening is I was so consumed with the constant grind that everything else in my life was like falling apart, so to speak, because I was working 100 plus hours at work. I had no time for anything else. And do you think in many ways that's what's going on with people?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
The role of social connection and feeling like we matter. Why the pursuit of achievement doesn't always translate to fulfillment. And lastly, practical science-backed strategies to build more joy, resilience, and deep relationships. This episode is filled with powerful takeaways that will challenge the way you think about happiness, meaning in the way that you design your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I think you're so right. And when I describe it, the words I use are Henry David Thoreau's quiet desperation, because that's exactly how I felt. I felt just stuck. And I was the most apathetic and numb I've ever been in my life. And
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I wanted to change so desperately, but it was so difficult because of everything that I had built up and feeling I'm going to be a shell of myself if I don't do these things that I've been working on for the past decade. And now that I'm doing what I do now, I wish I would have started down this path a decade earlier.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So I want to take this a step further. I recently interviewed Sige Oishi, who I'm sure you know. I think for a long time, when we have thought about happiness, there's a whole line of research that's been done on happiness and a whole bunch of research that's been done on meaning in life. And he is really talking about a third element or a third dimension called psychological richness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Where do you see this concept of mattering fitting into this entire framework? And where do you see his concept of psychological richness fitting in? Or do you think it even needs to fit in?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Dr. Santos weaves together groundbreaking psychology with practical insights that will help you reclaim your well-being and align your life with what truly matters. If you've ever felt like you're chasing success but still feeling unfulfilled, or if you want to know the science behind lasting joy and purpose, This conversation is for you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So I want to talk about villages and evolution. I was recently having a discussion with Sandra Matz, who's a professor at Columbia, and we were talking about algorithms and big data and this concept of throughout most of history up until recently, humans have survived around this concept of a small village environment. And we are very much
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
conditioned to be in that type of setting where we're around like-minded people who know our business, whether we're doing something good and being rewarded for it, or we act in a way that doesn't conform with what the village or that group feels. Why do you think the need to matter is so deeply ingrained in humans from an evolutionary perspective?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And for those of you who want to dive deeper, check out our episode starter packs at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify. With over 580 episodes, we've curated playlists on themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth to help you find the inspiration that resonates most with you. And don't forget to subscribe to my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I think that was a great foundation for my next question. So where Sandra and I went is we've switched as a culture from these localized villages to now a global village where the people we're interacting with oftentimes are anonymous to us. And unlike the people in the smaller village who usually have our best interest at hand, many of these anonymous characters are nefarious.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And it brought back my discussion with Emma Sapella because we discussed how technology can connect or disconnect us depending on how it's used. How do you think This evolution of technology connecting us or maybe isolating us more because of technology, like how do you see this playing out and how does it impact happiness and matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And I think a great episode, if people wanted to go back and find it, I can't remember what the episode number was, but I interviewed Harvard professor Joshua Green, and we were talking about the multiplier effect of altruism. So that is a great one that speaks to what you were just talking to.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
for exclusive weekly insights, challenges, tools, and actionable strategies to live with greater intention. And if you prefer video, join the growing community on the John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you can watch this episode and more. Now, let's dive into this incredible conversation about happiness, mattering, and the science of a fulfilling life with the one and only Dr. Laurie Santos.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Laurie, I wanted to go now to the topic of listening. I was recently talking to Alison Woodbrooks and we were discussing her new book, but we really got into how the art of listening is becoming a lost skill. And something that she said to me really blew me away. And she goes, the way we listen or don't listen really comes down to making someone feel seen or unseen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And it really struck me because she's right. When we listen to someone intently, it's like we're holding up a mirror to ourselves because in that person we see ourselves, but so many people are tuned out. We're on our devices. We're not, we're just, our mind is somewhere else. It's drifting. Are you seeing more of this come into play?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Yeah, it reminds me, if you've ever been interviewed for a short segment on TV, I have a hard time dealing with them because you can't really storytell at all. You have got to make just very short, succinct points. And it often doesn't connect well, I find. But I think that's how we're communicating more and more, fortunately.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Dr. Lori Santos on PassionStruck. Welcome Lori.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
It's interesting, and this is on a tangent, but I heard a commercial the other day for one of the dating apps and I can't remember which one it was, but they have put a functionality in where a person can no longer paste in their answers because they were finding too many people were using AI and they weren't projecting who they truly were. So they're making people hand their answers and.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I thought it was interesting that we've gone to that point that we're impostering who we are in these conversations. Like the person isn't going to find that out in the first or second time they meet you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So one of the things that's a cornerstone of your teaching is gratitude. How does practicing gratitude enhance both happiness and the sense of belonging?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So I wanted to use whatever time left we have just to give some people some takeaways. So what daily habits or rituals do you recommend for someone who's listening to this and they feel the disconnection that we're talking about to foster more happiness and a sense of matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I was so taken aback when Katie Melkman made the introduction and I love her work and your work as well. And then Emma Sapella was going to introduce me to you, but I think you all are doing such a fantastic job of expanding science's practicality and taking it to where people can put it to use.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And my last thing I wanted to explore with you is I really love the work of the late Emile Bruneau and what he was trying to do around the whole space of dehumanization and trying to find ways to get people to see the beauty in each other. And as I think about his work, there are a lot of different cultural variations and social economic inequalities that come into play here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
How do you think they affect people's ability to feel happiness or that they matter? And what are some ways to pull out of that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
How have you seen this changing over the past four or five years and people being more and more receptive to it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Laurie, it has been such an honor to have you on the podcast today. And I always like to give my guests an opportunity to tell the listeners where they can learn more about you. So I was hoping you could share that with them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Well, Lori, thank you so much for joining me today. It was really such a great conversation. Thank you so much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And that's a wrap on today's conversation. What an incredible one it was with Dr. Lori Santos. Her insights on happiness, matter, and connection remind us that true fulfillment isn't about chasing external success. It's about aligning our lives with what truly brings us meaning and joy. From understanding the cognitive traps that mislead us about happiness,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
to embracing the power of human connection, Lori has given us a roadmap to living with greater purpose and intention. As we close out today's episode, I invite you to reflect on a few key takeaways. How can you cultivate a greater sense of mattering in your daily life? What small shifts in your mindset or habits could lead to deeper fulfillment?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And how can you strengthen the connections that bring true joy and significance? If today's discussion resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support the show and help us bring impactful conversations like this one to more people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And if someone in your life could benefit from Dr. Santo's wisdom, share this episode with them because a single conversation can change everything. For all the resources we discussed, including the Science of Wellbeing course and the Happiness Lab podcast, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And if you want to go deeper, be sure to check out the video version of this episode on my John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you'll find more enriching conversations just like this one. And while you're there, hit subscribe and join our growing community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And if you're looking to bring these transformative insights into your organization or team, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to explore how we can work together to create intentional change. Coming up next on Passion Strike, I'm joined by Bryant Wood, a former model and bodybuilder turned master breathwork instructor and transformational coach.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
We'll be diving into the power of breathwork, emotional resilience, and redefining strength through vulnerability and connection. Brian's journey from external validation to deep inner healing is an inspiring testament to how we can all break from limiting beliefs and reclaim our authentic selves. It's the perfect complement to this episode with Dr. Laurie Santos.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So make sure you're subscribed and get ready for another transformative conversation. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value here in this episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
It's great. I love what you have done, Katie, with her podcast, Dr. Huberman, of course, and others, Rhonda Patrick. and others are making this much more accessible. Your Yale course, Psychology and the Good Life, became the most popular course in the university's history. And when you think about that, Yale has been around for hundreds of years.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
What inspired you to create it and why do you think it's resonated so deeply with students?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 583.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So I remember a couple of years ago, I was interviewing Susan Cain and we were talking about her book, Bittersweet. So we were already exploring emotions, but we got into this topic that when she was writing the book, she went back onto the campus of Princeton where she went. And she ran into this term that she hadn't ever heard of.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
I hadn't heard of it at that point, but it was effortless perfection. Is that something that you found on the Yale campus as well? And is that what's happening or is it bigger than this?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
So I'm going to park that for a second, but we're going to come back to it in our broader discussion. I do want to go to the online version of your course, which I saw has reached over 4 million people. What surprised you most about how people from different walks of life have engaged with it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Whether you're a long term listener or tuning in for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You have joined a global movement dedicated to unlocking your full potential, living with intention and making what truly matters matter most. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on the powerful conversations we shared last week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
Well, that's not the only thing that's gone viral. Your podcast, The Happiness Lab, which I'm a big fan of, has now gone over 100 million downloads, probably far more than that. But I just want to give a shout out to it because I'm a personal listener of it. And I've loved your interviews with Gretchen Rubin, my friend Dan Harris, Jamil Zaki, just to name a few.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Laurie Santos on How to Matter in a Busy World | EP 583
And I'm so excited for this current season that you're doing. So congratulations on that. But I wanted to ask you about the podcast. You've likely encountered some amazing stories of transformation as you've been doing it. Can you share an example maybe of someone who applied the principles? Maybe it was a podcast listener who's come back to you that saw a profound change in their life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
What if the key to a truly fulfilling life isn't just about happiness or meaning, but something much deeper? For decades, the pursuit of happiness or a sense of purpose has dominated our understanding of the good life. But today's guest, Shigeo Ishii, produces a transformative third dimension, psychological richness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Thank you for that. And Shige, you go in the book, we were talking about happiness, but then you start going into exploring the meaning in life and you go into the work of Carol Riff and the difference between the hedonic model and the eudaemonic model, which focuses more on personal growth and purpose, et cetera. How would you describe meaning in life and how does it differ from happiness?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
The idea that a life filled with diverse, novel, and even challenging experiences can be just as, if not more, fulfilling. Shigeo Ishii is one of the world's leading psychologists and the Marshall Field IV Professor of Psychology at the University of Chicago.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And then where does your third model emerge? And how does it necessarily differentiate between the classic battle and where does it enrich it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
He has dedicated his career to studying happiness, meaning, and culture, building on the foundational work of his mentor, Ed Diener, while pushing the boundaries of what we know about well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
An area of research that Ethan Cross actually turned me on to was the work of Edward DC and Richard Ryan. I actually had Dr. Ryan on the show this past year. And in self-determination theory, they really found the connection to our intrinsic worth is tied to three variables as you're well aware, but for the audience, it really comes down to our autonomy. mastery and relatedness or connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So where does your research align with that and where does it expand upon their framework and take it to a next level?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
His groundbreaking research has been featured in major outlets like The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, and his brand new book, Life in Three Dimensions, redefines what it means to live a good life. In today's interview, we explore how psychological richness differs from happiness and meaning, why it matters, and how it can transform your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And since you just brought that up, I recently found something called the Belonging Barometer. Not sure if you've seen this, but it was created by the American Immigration Council, of all people. But their surveys found that right now in America, 64% of workers feel excluded in the workplace. 74% of Americans feel excluded in their communities. Overall, 67% felt some level of exclusion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
But the thing that was striking to me was that almost 20% of all Americans feel like they have no sense of belonging at all in their lives. Wow. So to me, this is really becoming a profound issue. And it's not just an American issue. It's a global issue. Where does psychological richness come into play here to help fix this lack of sense of belonging that so many people have?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
We'll dive into the science behind these ideas from the psychology of happiness hired by Ed Diener and Marty Seligman to Carol Reff's self-determination theory. Shigi will share how psychological richness addresses the pitfalls of happiness and meaning, the traps of complacency and narrowness, and why embracing curiosity, exploration, and even adversity can help us live with fewer regrets.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Thank you for addressing that. And I saw in the book that you highlight the work of Susan Cain, and I have been a huge fan of Susan's work since Quiet came out and was so honored to have her on this show to discuss Bittersweet, which is the book that you highlight in your book. And it was interesting.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Last night I was on Fox News talking to the anchor about why people fail on their New Year's resolutions. And it really got me thinking about the sense of belonging and belonging. But from a different perspective, one of the things that I think leads to people not completing their New Year's resolutions is their emotional state, meaning how their emotional state plays into
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
how they're feeling about completing them. So things that Susan talks about, such as sorrow and longing are needed to make us whole. I think these negative emotions also play a role into how we live our lives, the goal we set out. And reading this, you tend to agree. And I was hoping you could talk about that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I did an interesting solo episode that came out today as we're recording this, but I The theme of the episode was on own your cracks, meaning so often we want to approach things in life like from the standpoint of being perfect. But there is no such thing as being perfect. So I explored in this episode the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which I'm sure you're familiar with.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
We'll also discuss how psychological richness connects to today's loneliness epidemic, the importance of mattering as well as belonging, and how we can cultivate richer, more vibrant lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Incompleteness and permanence are really a better way to think about our goal setting. And as I was thinking about that, I read following this discussion about Susan's book, the six studies that you explored the role of positive and negative emotions. And what I found interesting was in all six, those who were leading happy life, who experienced a lot of joy, contentment and pleasantness,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
but rarely experienced sadness, anger, and fear were very similar to living a meaningful life. From that study and the final experiment you did, what did you find about people who lived a richer week, a richer month, a richer year?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
If you've ever wondered why happiness and meaning sometimes leave you feeling stuck or unfulfilled, or if you're looking for ways to add more depth, curiosity, and richness to your life, then this episode is for you. Before we dive into today's episode, let's reflect on the powerful conversations we shared last week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Yeah, to me, that is some really fascinating findings that you've found there and something that I'm going to incorporate more into the way that I'm approaching some of my own solo episodes this year to try to focus more on this. Another area I wanted to highlight with you, Shige, is I've been really fascinated for years by the work of Cornell psychologist Tom Gilovich.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And really what he examines is the science of regret, how inaction or action can shape our lives. And what I find about his work is through all these studies he's done, he has found the same thing that Bronnie Ware found in the five regrets of dying. Basically 76% of people regret not trying to pursue becoming their ideal life. If I take it at the 50,000 foot level.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And this really led me to think about your chapter six, which where you're trying to quantify a psychological rich life. Can you talk about the study that you did around obituaries and what that showed?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
On Tuesday, Ethan Cross joined me, and we explored insights from his latest book, Shift, managing your emotions so they don't manage you. In our discussion, Ethan presents a science-based guide to mastering our emotional lives, and he offers actionable strategies to ensure our emotions amplify our capabilities rather than hinder them. Then on Thursday, Eric Zimmer joined me.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So I just want to use one example that you can talk about, because you mentioned in the book, a lot of people, when they think of someone who's led a really deep, creative, meaningful life, think of Steve Jobs. How would you rate him from your own research and what you think is a rich life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
He's a behavioral coach and host of the One You Feed podcast, and he shared his journey from overcoming addiction to becoming a hope for so many people worldwide. He emphasized that recovery and personal growth are not about grand gestures, but about consistent, intentional steps.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Well, thank you for going into that. And another thing that really caught my eye was when you looked at different personality structures, extra vision and openness really came out. And you found that openness to experience is strongly linked to leading a psychologically rich life, which obviously Steven Jobs explored throughout his life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And he had key characteristics of curiosity, imagineness, imagination, willingness to explore intellectual and artistic pursuits. And your research has a fascinating reciprocal relationship Open, if I understand it, openness enhances the likelihood of engaging in psychologically enriching activities. Can you go into this a little bit more and why it's so important?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
These discussions provided valuable perspectives on managing our inner worlds and embracing the challenges that lead to personal growth. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, don't forget to check out our episode starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I wanted to jump ahead to chapter 11 in your book. You write at the beginning of this, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, which is a quote from philosopher Nietzsche. But you write here, which is true, most psychologically rich experiences are intentional.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
one usually makes the choice to study abroad you talk about one chooses to read one chooses to watch one chooses to take up a diy project but i want to go into something that's a little bit more personal for me and what this chapter is really about earlier this year out of the blue we were affected in tampa bay in a period of two weeks by two major hurricanes and in my case
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
One of them impacted us with about two and a half to three feet of water in our house. Thousands and thousands of people around me lost everything. And one of the interesting things I've seen is how people are responding to it. How do these things that we don't control that happen to us impact our experience of being psychologically rich?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
With over 570 episodes, we know it can be overwhelming, so we've curated playlists on themes like leadership, personal growth, alternative health, and so many more. You can find them all on Spotify or by visiting passionstruck.com. For weekly inspiration and actionable tips, be sure to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Thank you for sharing that. And I wanted to go back to Tom Gilovich's work here for a second. In chapter 14, you go into a good life without regrets. And as I was reading through this, it was your whole approach to how you were talking about A wood is a good job caught my attention. And you're right. In 1890, William James invented the self-esteem equation in the principles of psychology.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And I'm sure not many of the listeners have heard this, so I'm going to read it. Self-esteem equals success slash pretensions. By pretensions, he meant one's aspirations. Self-esteem is high if one has fulfilled most of their aspirations and low if one hasn't. What was wrong with his formula and how does living a psychologically rich life change this equation would be part one of the question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
It's packed with exclusive content and tools to help you put the lessons from our episodes into practice. And if you prefer watching these conversations, all of our episodes are available on our YouTube channels at JohnRMiles.com. and passion struck clips where you can catch the videos and share them with others in your life who are passionate about growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So I want to ask you a follow-on question to that. So in this chapter, you write that you analyze pay scale survey of over 2 million people in 502 job categories. And according to this data and your work, What predicts satisfaction and what jobs did you find where people were the most happy?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So get ready for a thought provoking conversation with Shiggy Oishi that will challenge how you see the world and your place in it. Thank you for choosing passion struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to have Dr. Shige Owishi with me on PassionStruck. Welcome, Shige. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Thank you for going into that as well. And the last thing I wanted to cover in this chapter was you wrote about, and I'm going to have to check this podcast out, two psychologists and four beers. What a name for a podcast. But the two hosts used trip metaphors to describe a happy life and a psychologically rich life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And if I had to do this interview again, I might've started with this question, but can you describe how these two are different? Because I think this is a really good metaphor for understanding the difference.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
That basically sums up the difference for me. I've never been a huge fan of the all in resorts. I'd much rather do a vacation where I'm mountain climbing or challenge personally.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I want to go back to where we started talking about your father. His life, as we brought up at the beginning, is an example of stability, tradition, living in that small village. For those listeners who find themselves in similar circumstances, what would be some small actions they can take today to add more richness into their lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
First off, I want to congratulate you for your new book, Life in Three Dimensions. I was so impressed reading this that I cannot wait to dive into this and to introduce it to our leaders, but congratulations on its release.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
My takeaway from that is even with familiar experiences, you can build a life that holds richness by incorporating those different things into your daily life to foster a more psychologically deep and meaningful way to approach it. So my last question would be, what would be for a listener or reader, the one major takeaway you would like them to have from today's discussion?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So I'm going to start off where your book starts off. You introduce the book by talking about your father's journey versus your own life. And as you're doing it, your father's life represents comfort and tradition while your own life has been more filled with exploration and uncertainty.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So maybe that'll be the title for this episode. Just do it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Dr. Shigeo Ishii, thank you so much for being here today. The name of your book is Life in Three Dimensions. It releases February 4th, and I'm so excited for this to go into the general public where more people can learn how to live a psychologically rich life. If people want to learn more about you, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Shige, thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. It was an honor to have you on the show. Thank you. I can't think of a more profound and inspiring conversation than the one we just had with Dr. Shige Oishi. His exploration of psychological richness challenges us to rethink the very foundation of what makes a life well-lived.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
By introducing this third dimension alongside happiness and meaning, Shige invites us to embrace curiosity, adversity, and the transformative power of diverse experiences. As we wrap up, I encourage you to reflect on today's insights. Are you prioritizing psychological richness in your life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
How can you step beyond routines or comfort zones to explore new perspectives, deepen connections, and add richness to your journey? If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a Firestar rating and review. Your feedback helps us continue bringing impactful conversations like this one to the PassionStruck community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And if you know someone who could benefit from Shige's insights, share this episode with them. You never know whose life it might help inspire. All the resources we discussed today, including Dr. Oishi's groundbreaking book, Life in Three Dimensions, are linked in the show notes at PassionStruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
You can also watch the video version of this episode and don't forget to subscribe and share it with others who are passionate about growth and intentional living. And as always, I'm passionate about bringing these insights to organizations and teams through speaking engagements.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
If today's discussion sparked ideas for creating a richer, more vibrant culture in your workplace, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more about how we can work together. And then lastly, let's talk about Thursday's episode. Are you a perfectionist? Do you often feel that your pursuit of excellence leads to stress or dissatisfaction?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
How have these contrasting paths shaped your views and the difference between the life you've led and your father's?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
In my upcoming episode, we sit down with Katherine Morgan Schaffler, a renowned psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, A Path to Peace and Power. Katherine challenges the conventional view of perfectionism, suggesting that it can be harnessed as a personal superpower rather than a flaw.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Don't miss this enlightening conversation that could transform your relationship with perfectionism.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Thank you for being a vital part of the Passion Start community. Your commitment to living with intention and embracing growth inspires me every day. Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value here, share it with someone who could benefit. And as always, apply what you've learned so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I recently interviewed Sandra Matz, who teaches at Columbia. And as I was listening to her story in her new book, She really started to talk about her journey was much like your father's starting out. She lived in a small village in Germany. And now her work is really studying the global village that we find ourselves in. And I would say your journey and my journey are pretty similar.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I left my family when I turned 18, joined the military and flew the coop. And so I experienced much more of a global village moving a number of times over my lifetime. How do you think that circumstance where not only is the global village us moving to different places, but through algorithms and technology and social media, the global village is now everywhere around us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
How do you think that is influencing how we see ourselves and our sense of mattering?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
What I'm hearing you say in many ways is that when we live in these smaller villages, we really become closed-minded based on the values, traditions, thoughts of that small village, that small community where many people fall into the trap of following the herd.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And what you're saying is when you start looking at this from a global perspective, you start getting many more diverse viewpoints into the way that you're thinking and exploring life. Is that a fair way to think about the two?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 571.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Okay, so another thing I wanted to ask you about, since you brought this up, is I've really become fascinated by the work of the late Emil Bruneau, who was trying to really focus on dehumanization and how do we end conflicts by having people see the other side.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
As you think about this global village we work in now, or we work and live in now, there are so many times when we're not seeing the other side. What are through the research you've done? What are some ways that we can break this path that we've gone down of decisiveness and division?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I think one of the things that we should really do more of is I've traveled to probably 50 different countries. I've been to Japan more than a dozen times. And one of the things I'm always grateful for when I'm on these travels is realizing that the more I'm around people from other countries, the more we're all alike, the more we want the same things in life. And
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Yet we let the 20% of differences get in the way of the 80% in commonality that we all share.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
So over the past 18 months, I've been really doing some deep dives into happiness. And I think this all started by, I had Bob Waldinger on the podcast when he came out with his book, The Good Life. And it's a very interesting read. The Harvard Study of Adult Aging really points to our health, our connections, our at what makes us happy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
I am thrilled to have you as part of this incredible community. Whether you're a longtime listener or joining us for the first time, you've become part of a global movement dedicated to igniting purpose and living boldly. I couldn't be happier to have you here. So today, I want to ask you a profound question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
And one of the things I found intriguing about your own work is your mentor was Ed Diener, who is considered to be one of the pioneers of happiness studies. Looking back on decades of research, what have we learned and what have you learned since your time with Ed about what truly makes people happy?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Shige Oishi on How to Live a Psychologically Rich Life | EP 571
Well, I saw as I was looking through all your materials that Marty Seligman was one of the many people, in addition to my friend, Ethan Cross, who gave you an endorsement for your book. And Marty's work in positive psychology really emphasizes optimism and strength. How does your thought process and your research intersect with or diverge from these ideas?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Tasha, I'm so glad I read your book because I know the connection points that you're making, but people always ask, why do you read every single book? Because when an interview totally goes a different direction than I'm planning it to go, it's nice to have it as the backdrop so you can read it right.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
No, no. You took a few sections and just combined it in one, which is great. So I'm going to just go back.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
a step to the introduction of your book, because I don't want to leave it without talking about Emily's parking lot brawl, because I think it really does a good job of illustrating how the most high achieving, resilient people can take a hit and reach their breaking point, which is exactly what happened to me. Why was that the right starting point for the book?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
explores in her brand new book, Shatterproof, How to Overcome Adversity with Strength and Resilience, which officially launches today. Tasha is a renowned organizational psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most sought after voices on self-awareness, leadership, and psychological agility.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
I agree. I remember at the time I was a C-level at Dell and I was so freaking stressed out. I had crap going on at work. I had crap going on in my home life. And I just reached this point like no one cared how I was doing. Right. I'm one of these people who historically does a very good job of keeping my cool under pressure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
In today's episode, we go deep into the science of resilience, what it really takes to withstand life's pressure and come out on the other side, not just intact, but stronger, clearer, and more intentional. At the core of today's discussion is the Shatterproof Roadmap, a transformative research-backed framework that includes tools like probing your pain, auditing your identity,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And I had this direct report who just kept doing boneheaded things time and time again, getting us deeper into crap with the business segments that we were supporting. And I remember another one of them hit us in this staff meeting and I freaking just went off on him. And to this day, I feel so bad about it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
But underneath it, I had just this level of pressure and tension that had just been built up that I think it was just waiting for a release. And unfortunately, I unloaded it on him. The thing I learned from that is I've never done it again. But boy, did I lose my cool in that moment.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Absolutely, it's how it happens. And that's one of the reasons I loved in your next chapter, the budworm epidemic as a metaphor for human resilience, because this epidemic for people who aren't familiar with it, you can explain it to them, but it's a striking analogy
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
for how resilience isn't always enough how something that worked in the past can fail when conditions change and in the modern world as you're describing we're facing our own quote-unquote epidemic seven from digital overload to gosh we're seeing worldwide geopolitical instability i was just listening to npr before our interviews started and wow what are some of the outdated resilience strategies people rely on and why are they no longer effective
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
and crafting choice. These aren't just abstract ideas. They're tangible, science-based practices that will help you take control of your narrative, reframe struggle, and turn hardship into personal power.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
We explore why some people thrive through chaos while others feel crushed by it, the danger of over-identifying with suffering, and how you can train your mind to face adversity with self-awareness and mental agility. Tasha also shares actionable strategies for breaking free from victimhood.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
You're absolutely right. And as you look at the world today, we absolutely need new solutions to the problems that are impacting us because climate change didn't come out of nowhere. And the way we've solved crises in the past isn't working. So we need a new way to come at it, which is a systematic approach, as Seth Godin has laid out, that we need to get on board with.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
So in chapter three, you introduced this concept of resilience ceiling, and this is after you go through the three myths. And I could ask you six questions about this chapter alone, but one of them that I really loved is you use this metaphor in the chapter comparing resilience to a rubber band that stretches until it finally snaps.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And I love this because in my own book, I had this chapter on becoming a perspective harnesser and I used The story of my friend, Chris Cassidy, who at the time was training to become a SEAL at Bud's. And he told me that the way he got through Bud's was using this analogy. He said, hard times end, challenges end, and you need to look at your resilience like it's a rubber band.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And sometimes it contracts and sometimes it expands. And what you need to look for is when it expands, not to let it break. And so he used that as a way to get through the micro moments of incredible pain so that he could reach that point where it would constrict again and he would get a break and be able to recover. So can you step into this and help?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
rewriting limiting stories and developing real resilience, the kind that serves your growth, not just your survival. If you've ever faced a moment that knocked you down, a personal loss, a professional setback, or a season where nothing seemed to go right, this episode will equip you to rebuild, reimagine, and come back stronger than ever.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Maybe just a step back, because I agree with what you're saying. I use this as part of a chapter where I was explaining the power of perspective shifts, meaning so often we get into either or thinking. And when we do that, it causes us to get into this whiplash.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
But when we start allowing ourselves to get into more both and thinking, and I went into the behavior science about it, we start finding an equilibrium to it. And then after this, I introduce the topic of how do you reach the optimal state of anxiety? And I used it to play into that as well. So I completely agree with you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
If you keep stretching it back and forth overall, you're going to wear the thing out and you're going to wear yourself out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
So Tasha, I want to move forward. In the next section of the book, you outline three major shatterproof mindset shifts that people must take to move beyond just coping. And you say the first is moving from discounting hard things to actively embracing them. The second is shifting from coping to the courage to change. And the third is breaking free of the limiting beliefs that keep us stuck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Can you maybe go through which one you think people have most trouble with?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
But before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on the incredible week we just had here on PassionStruck. Last Tuesday, I welcomed Wes Adams and Tamara Miles to discuss their new book, Meaningful Work, a must-listen for anyone seeking to align purpose with performance.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Last Thursday, Donald Miller shared his updated Building a Story Brand 2.0 book and gave us an exclusive look into his AI platform that's revolutionizing how we can communicate and connect. And then on Friday, Dr. Kurt Gray shared
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Now the Weary Family Foundation endowed chair at Ohio State joined me to discuss political division, moral psychology, and how to find common ground in an increasingly polarized world. If you missed any of those episodes, I highly recommend going back. They're packed with transformative insights.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And if you're new here, we've created episode starter packs on topics like mental resilience, personal mastery, leadership, and intentional living. You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. For even deeper tools and exclusive insights, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And if you prefer watching these powerful conversations, head over to the Passion Struck YouTube channel. Now, let's dive into this empowering conversation on the true nature of resilience and how to become shatterproof with Dr. Tasha Urich. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
It's about taking action. If you're ready to go deeper, check out Shatterproof. It's available now and links to our book, Tasha's work, and other resources are all in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Want to bring the power of intentionality to your organization?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Beyond hosting PassionStruck, I speak to companies, teams, and events about unlocking potential, building resilience, and creating lasting impact. If you're looking for a keynote speaker who can inspire action and drive transformation, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how I can help your team thrive.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
I am absolutely honored and thrilled to have Dr. Tasha Urich on PassionStruck. Welcome, Tasha.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And if today's episode spoke to you, I'd be incredibly grateful if you'd leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to help PassionStruck reach even more people who need these conversations. If you know someone who could benefit from today's discussion, share this episode with them. Now, coming up next on PassionStruck, I'm joined by Stanford psychologist, Dr. Greg Walton.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
author of the extraordinary new book, Ordinary Magic, the science of how we can achieve big change with small acts. In our conversation, Greg reveals how small shifts in perception, which he calls wise interventions, can create upward spirals of transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Whether it's a mindset shift, a reframing of purpose, or the belief that you belong, this episode will show you how seemingly small actions can lead to extraordinary change. Trust me, you won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Today, we're going to be discussing your brand new book, Shatterproof, which debuts today, the day that this podcast is coming out. But I have to tell you, when I was opening up the book and I came to your dedication, I always loved looking at them. And then a name just jumped right off the page to me, Marshall Goldsmith.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Finally, thank you for being part of Passion Struck. This show is built on curiosity, transformation, and action, and I'm honored to have you with me on this journey. Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value, share it. Let's keep growing this movement and living with intention, impact, and purpose. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
someone that you call your honorary dad and I have loved Marshall's work for decades and I've actually had him on the show and his work has been so deep to me that I ended up anchoring a whole chapter in my book Passion Struck on his lessons from the earned life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
I wanted to start out today by asking you what role has Marshall played in shaping your approach to leadership resilience which we're going to be talking a lot about today and ultimately this book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
I love that. And I have to tell you, when I had him on the podcast, if people want to go back and listen to it, he gave me teachable moments midstream as we were doing the podcast. And then once we got off, he stopped before he got off and gave me very frank feedback for about five minutes straight.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And then after he did it, which he did in a kind way, but a very straightforward way, he said, you've got to get to Nashville because I walk every day. And the next time you're here, I want to take a walk with you. So I got to take him up with that. But one thing that I love about his work is he emphasizes this idea that fulfillment comes from the alignment of our values.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
you're new to the show i offer advice and answer listener questions on fridays we have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors ceos creators innovators scientists military leaders visionaries and athletes now let's go out there and become passion struck hey Passionstruck fam, welcome to episode 592.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
And then he often talks about our aspirations and our ambitions rather than external achievements. How does that concept connect with your vision of becoming shatterproof?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
I couldn't agree more. And I was one of those stressed out executives for so much of my career. And so I know exactly what it feels like. And over time, I finally got vulnerable enough to talk about it because I think there's so many millions, I use the word millions of people who are in the same shoes that I was.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
So one of the biggest takeaways from your book is that resilience alone is not enough. And you write, the best response to hard things isn't merely to survive them, it's to harness them. That's a major distinction from how resilience is traditionally framed. Can you explain how being shatterproof is different from just being resilient?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
Whether you've been with us for a while or tuning in for the first time, I am so thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to unlocking your potential, forging resilience, and making what truly matters matter most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Tasha Eurich on How to Create a Shatterproof Life | 592
let me ask you this what if resilience isn't just about bouncing back what about bouncing forward what if the key to overcoming life's toughest challenges isn't just grit but the ability to adapt pivot and transform adversity into fuel for growth that's exactly what today's guest dr tasha york
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Coming up next on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
If you're tuning in for the first time, welcome. You've just joined a global community of game changers who are igniting their purpose and pursuing lives of boldness, meaning, and impact. We are so thrilled to have you on this journey.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, if I have a listener who is hearing this and they don't know much about you, I'm just going to give a little bit of detail. So not only have you been an angel investor, but you have been an extremely successful one. have invested in, you mentioned Luxsoft, but there's also 23andMe, Meetup, Banff Help, Yandex, Evernote, Facebook, Square, and I can go on and on.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
In case you missed my episode earlier in the week on Tuesday, it featured Max Lugavere, New York Times bestselling author, health journalist, and host of the Genius Life podcast. Max shared his deeply personal journey that began with his mother's battle with neurodegenerative disease and how it sparked his mission to revolutionize brain and body health.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
It is, but what I have learned from it myself is you can't just invest in a couple and think you're going to make it. You really have to invest in a portfolio and hope that a couple of them become shooting stars. For me, I was lucky enough to invest in ID.me and a couple others myself that became unicorns, but I've had 10 times as many that were complete flops.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
That's absolutely true.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Yes, timing and when you get in. And for me, the belief that I have in the leadership, I always look at leaders who I don't feel hold a ton of ego. You want a leader who is going to be able to control all the different aspects because being an entrepreneur is not easy. But I am looking for someone who can convey messages, who can
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
who's going to be able to go out and talk to investors, but is also going to be empathetic to their employees, but has a huge drive, but isn't selfish about their nature for the problem that they're solving. I don't know if that resonates with you at all.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
If you're looking to reclaim your health and vitality, it's an episode you don't want to miss. And if you're looking to explore more themes like mental and emotional wellness, spiritual healing, lifestyle, nutrition, and personal growth, don't forget to check out our episode starter packs, curated playlists designed to guide you through the best of our 550 plus episodes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Yeah. And I'm going to just respond to that with this past year, I released a book and the first chapter of the book was a profile of Jim McKelvey. And the reason I'm bringing him up is the whole component of this book is him talking about startups and working with tons of entrepreneurs. And he was telling me that one of the biggest things that happens is
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
people come up with a problem, they fall in love with it. But he said, then what ends up happening is things get really tough and they start venturing farther and farther away from the problem that it doesn't become the problem anymore. they lose sight of what they were doing to begin with.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And he gave all the citations for the things that happened with Square and how there were so many times that they had issues with the design of the reader. But more than that, they had legislative pushback and banks who didn't want them to enter the market and so many things.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
They're available on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. For even more inspiration, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. It's filled with exclusive content to help you apply the wisdom from our episodes into your everyday life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
He said, I had to solve 5,000 issues to bring this thing to fruition, but I never lost sight of being in love with the problem and making that the core thing that we were trying to solve I love that you reiterated that exactly and there's a lot of problems out there we're really not in short supply No, you're absolutely right.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Esther, I want to take this interview down a couple of different tracks. The first one I want to go into is I feel that we have an existential crisis of meaning in the world of feeling, I call it the disease of disconnection and people are disconnected from each other. They're disconnected from how they make others feel, but they're also growing disconnected from themselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And I want to approach this so the listeners understand where I'm coming from with this. You played a very pivotal role with ICON. And if people aren't familiar with ICON, I'm going to tell a little bit of story about myself. When I came out of the Naval Academy in the early to mid 90s, I worked for the National Security Agency.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And back then, we had this classified system, which was a precursor to the Internet that we couldn't tell anyone about. But it was this huge, powerful thing. And ICON's mission, as I understand it, was to really try to ensure a stable, secure and unified global Internet that was owned by people, not by governments. Is that a good way to think about it?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
So my whole point of this is I think that anytime we unleash something like this capability into the world, it brings about so many tremendous things. I mean, I just think about How much life would be different if we didn't have the Internet, if we couldn't search the way we do? We would have never had AI. We would never have had software as a service. So many things like that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And don't forget, every conversation we have here is also available in video on our YouTube channel, where you can watch, share, and grow with others who are passionate about creating change. In today's episode of Passion Struck, we dive deep into the mind of Esther Dyson, a true visionary at the crossroads of technology, health, and humanity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
But there are also unintended consequences from its use. I have to believe that the founders of Facebook very well never went into that thinking that it would have the ripple effect that it has from a negative standpoint of causing or being a layer of what's caused this connection. So I was hoping maybe is that as an introduction or maybe you can give your thoughts on this.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Esther is best known as a transformative investor and entrepreneur with an extraordinary track record that includes early investments in groundbreaking companies like Square, Facebook, and Evernote, businesses that have redefined how we connect, transact, and create in the digital age. But her impact doesn't just stop at technology.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I want to really go into this. Part of the reason I started this whole podcast is I got this calling years ago. At the time, I was working directly for Michael Dell. And I get this message saying, you're supposed to help the beaten, broken, lonely, battered, helpless, et cetera, of the world. And I am like, what? I am supposed to do what? And who are those people?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And how am I supposed to help them? and it took me i have to tell you a long time to understand who these people were and there are billions of them and to me it's there's a there's this existential crisis of i was saying meaning in the world people are losing their sense of association with all the things that matter to us the family unit relationships connection with themselves
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And it's having a cascading effect on so many people. So that's really what I want to explore.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I can be, yes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Esther is also the founder of Wellville, a bold 10-year initiative proving the value of investing in human well-being, equity, and long-term systemic change. In this conversation, we explore not just her achievements, but the deeper philosophies and actionable insights that drive her work. We tackle critical questions like, how has technology disrupted our connection to ourselves and others?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And what can we do to repair it? How can individuals be catalysts for meaningful change, even in deeply entrenched systems? And what can we learn from Esther's unparalleled experience as an angel investor, advising some of the most innovative minds of our time?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I have to say, when I interviewed him, he was, as everyone always said, he was such a joyful person, seemed like he was on top of the world. And I think we have this tendency to often wear masks, hiding who we truly are and not being vulnerable about the pain that we're going through. So I am not sure if you've ever read Malcolm Gladwell's books at all. Long ago, yes.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I've been reading Revenge of the Tipping Point, which is him revisiting Tipping Point 25 years after it was originally created. But he doesn't really... He touches on the old book, but he's really going into the concept of social engineering, and he really explores two of the biggest epidemics of our day, COVID and the opioid crisis.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
But in some ways, what we're talking about here with this disconnection people are facing is another form of social engineering. Wouldn't you agree?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Whether you're passionate about reshaping social systems, curious about the future of health and equity, or eager to lead with greater intentionality, this episode will leave you inspired to take action. Esther's Journey is a masterclass in harnessing vision, grit, and courage to drive innovation and create a better world.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
It is really interesting. My kids are now older. They're 20 and 26. But when I was younger, one of my favorite things to do was to go to the park. And when my son was growing up in Atlanta, there was this amazing wooden, those big, huge playgrounds that, and I just remember chasing him all around and it was so much, it was so much fun. And
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Now, as I go around playgrounds, it's as if the kids are playing and the parents are all sitting on benches looking at their phones and not even interacting with the children. And we learn by example. So we've got these kids growing up observing their parents doing that. I mean, and all you have to do is go to any restaurant.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
You live in New York and you that at least half of the patrons, if not more, might even be sitting across from another person. And they're sitting there looking at your phone instead of talking to the other person.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Get ready for an extraordinary conversation that will challenge you to think bigger and bolder. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I have such a profound honor today of having Esther Dyson on Passion Struck. Welcome, Esther.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
It really was crazy. I mean, you barely ever see kids in my neighborhood. I don't even see kids playing outside anymore. And I remember growing up, the second we got home from school, after we did our schoolwork, it was come back at when it gets dark for dinner. And after that, we would just, we would go and explore and make forts and play football and baseball and just whatever.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
We do whatever we did. And there's so much learning and community that you build from that. It's why I can see a friend that I've known since second grade and not see him for 20 years. And then when I do see him, it's as if we're right back there 20 years ago and no time has passed.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, I'm thinking high school. So 30, 35 years from high school. Whatever.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
So when you think about what's happening in society with this, and it does seem like a disillusion, well, a destruction nature of the family unit, where do you think change has to happen to reverse what's occurring?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
So you're writing this new book. For those who aren't familiar with you, you wrote a great book called Release 2.0, which discussed at the time how the Internet gives individuals immense power while also demanding greater responsibility to just build upon what you just said. If you were to write Release 3.0 today,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I love to start these episodes out by going into areas that people might not know about my guests. And as I was growing up, my sister was just full of life and full of wanting to make change in the world. And she found passion. this musical that she got very involved in called Peace Child.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
What new guiding principles would you include for living in this increasingly interconnected AI driven age that we find ourselves in?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And it was an intersection of kids from the United States at that time and kids from the former Soviet Union who came together to perform this. And they did performances in the United States and then they did performances in Russia as well as Eastern Germany. And this became a huge passion for her.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Yeah, going back to Michael Dell just for a second. So here you have someone that people probably refer, Michael Dell, he's worth $27 billion. I never thought of Michael like that because I got to know him on a very personal level. My favorite times with him...
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
where he sat in this area at Dell that we called the God Pod, or I guess the employees called it because it had him head of HR, head of legal, CFO, et cetera. But I'd go in there because they had free coffee. And typically, if Michael was in town, he'd be in there. And I'd walk into him and half the time just wearing a T-shirt and didn't even have a shirt on yet.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And we would have just these vulnerable conversations 99% of the time had nothing to do with Dell, just about life and things that were going on. And what I really appreciated about him was I got to travel with them to do a number of talks. And oftentimes he would bring his kids with them and. What I really liked was just how much focus he would put on the kids and being with them.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And he wouldn't take business things because he wanted to spend the quality time with them, but was also trying to introduce them to other circles to expand their knowledge and I really valued that in Michael, that even though he had this huge persona, he was just a real person, quiet at times, very inquisitive, very smart, but wanting to connect in any way that he could, as an example.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Yeah, I mean, I'll just spend 30 more seconds on this. I remember one of the things that we were preparing for is he and I were giving a joint talk at Oracle World. We were doing one of the keynotes and his daughter was with us and he had her sit out in the audience and asked her, like, how do you think John and I should approach this?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Like, how from someone your age would you want to hear us discuss it? It was nice that he tried to involve them like that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
So one of the things, Esther, I wanted to ask you is since the time your book came out, there have been huge changes in the digital landscape like we've talked about. What do you see as the next major societal transformations that are going to be driven by technology and how can we start preparing for them?
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
She ended up getting her undergraduate degree, one of them in Russian studies, ended up living in Russia, et cetera. And I understand you also have a backstory of speaking Russian. I'd love to start out hearing what drove you to learn the language.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Thank you for sharing that. And I wanted to ask you just a few questions on the topic of being a systems catalyst. As the founder of Wellville, You've taken on the challenge of catalyzing systems change in health equity, if I understand what the nonprofit is doing.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
What lessons have you learned along this journey, which is many years now in the making, about what it takes to spark meaningful transformation when it's in entrenched systems?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, it's unfortunately a tough question. She passed away earlier this year from pancreatic cancer, but she really spent some of her formative years working to reshape democracy and actually bring democracy to Russia and worked in various roles, but always loved the culture and the people and never saw them as the enemy. I think she saw the institution of
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, I just want to just mention that I love that you brought up that book, The Gardener and the Carpenter. I have never even heard of it. I am definitely going to read it. But I want to tell you something on a similar note. When I wrote my book, It's based on 12 principles to create a passion struck life. But the last one that I wrote was on this concept that we need a new type of leader.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I was raised under construct that you need to be a servant leader and there's nothing Wrong with that. I just didn't think it applies to where the workforce is going. And so in the book, I lay out that I think what we need are gardener leaders.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And so I'm going to have to read this book and see how it connects, because as I've I devote a lot of my time to behavior science and as I am looking at this, what I'm really calling for is that you need to be a leader in That's eyes on, but hands off. And I think we have too many micromanagers, too many of this, too many of that.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
the Soviet Union as being enemy, but not the people. She always thought the people were so genuine.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
You need someone who nurtures, but allows their employees to experiment and be creative and do the things that make people magical and give them autonomy to make mistakes. But be there as a cheerleader, guiding them on. and course correcting when you need to.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And I just find, especially with so many remote workers and everything else, that the past types of leadership models that we had are the right ones going forward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I remember someone in a job interview asked me one time, what's your style of how you work with employees? And I said, well, it's situational. And they go, what do you mean situational? I go, well, no five employees are the same. So the way I have to interact with each one is different. You've got to relate to them on their level. Some want you to connect with their whole family life.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Carolyn Miles. Carolyn Miles.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Others want you to be... more a parenting style. Others want you to be very precise and directive in what you're telling them to do. And if you try to use a one size fits all model, you're going to lose three quarters of your employees along the way. And so you've got to bring them with you on the journey in the way that it best fits their personality and learning and action style, so to speak.
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Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
So Esther, the last question I have for you is a lot of what I talk about here is the importance of choices that we make in life and the power of intentionality. And I often say that you can make the choice between good or bad, altruism or selfishness, et cetera. Do you think intentionality is something that can be taught? And if so, how do you think we should be approaching it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Absolutely. Because when psychologists and behavior scientists talk about happiness, they're not talking about a fleeting emotion. They're talking about how pleasure, engagement, and meaning come together like gears in a well-oiled machine. And I recently did an episode on this where I talk about Richard Branson through this lens of how he's lived his life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, Esther, it's been such an honor to have you on the show, and I just feel an immense privilege for spending time with you. Thank you so much for joining us here today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Oh, that would be phenomenal. Thank you so much. And last question for you would be, if people want to learn more about you, your investments, your future book, et cetera, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
We didn't even get a chance to explore today you going down the path of becoming a cosmonaut, which I wish we had more time to do. But it's been such a pleasure having you. Thank you so much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
What an enlightening and thought-provoking conversation with Esther Dyson. Today's episode took us deep into the intersection of technology, humanity, and systems change. Esther's insights into how technology has disrupted our connections with ourselves, with others, and with the systems we rely on challenges us to rethink not just how we innovate but why. Her work with Wellville
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
and her profound understanding of long-term equity remind us that real transformation starts with intentionality and a willingness to tackle the entrenched systems that shape our world. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on some of the powerful questions Esther posed. Are you a catalyst for change in your own life and community?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
How do your daily actions contribute to or disrupt social contagions? What steps can you take to create a ripple effect of positive transformation in your corner of the world? If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your feedback helps us continue bringing these life-changing conversations to the PassionStruck community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And if you know someone who could benefit from Esther's profound wisdom, share this episode with them, because one idea can spark the change we so desperately need. Before we close, I want to remind you that I'm passionate about sharing these insights with organizations and teams through speaking engagements. To learn more about this, go to johnrmiles.com slash speaking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Let's work together to create intentional change and ignite growth. You'll find links to everything we discussed today, including Esther's work with Wellville in her groundbreaking book, Release 2.0, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Don't forget to check out the video version of this conversation on YouTube. and explore our sponsors and exclusive deals at passionstruck.com slash deals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Supporting our partners allows us to continue delivering impactful episodes like this one. Now here's a sneak peek at what's coming up next on Passion Struck. I'll be joined by Dr. Rick Hansen, a renowned psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and one of the world's leading experts on resilience and well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Dr. Hansen's work bridges cutting-edge neuroscience with ancient wisdom to help us cultivate a brain and life wired for happiness and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
in this episode we explore insights from his groundbreaking book hardwiring happiness and his latest work on neurodharma we'll discuss practical ways to rewire our brains for greater resilience emotional balance and inner peace especially in the face of life's challenges plus we'll dive into the science of belonging and how fostering compassion can create a more connected meaningful life i think that autonomy is crucial autonomy is the foundation of intimacy
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Remember, the fee for this show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And as always, take what you've learned here and put it into action so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
It is so interesting. I've traveled to probably 50 countries over my life, and I have always found it so interesting how when you're in another country, how they view the United States, how the news reports on it, and the way the United States is viewed has changed rapidly over the past 25 years.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
I remember almost when I was in my 20s, almost being like a superhero because I was from the United States, and now it has a much different meaning on the world stage for sure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck family.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
That is a very interesting point. Well, you mentioned being a journalist and you began your career as a journalist, a field that's often described as the first draft of history. What drew you to journalism and how has it shaped your ability to ask something that you talk about a lot, important questions and think critically?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Well, I never thought I was going to be a journalist. Never in a million years thought it was going to be anything on my path in life. And along the way, I met a gentleman named Ed Kopko. And Ed had been the publisher of Chief Executive Magazine and had started something he called Bold Business. And he asked me to come on in a capacity where I would be the
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Welcome back to episode 557 of the passion struck podcast. I am so grateful for the incredible energy, enthusiasm and dedication you bring to this community each and every week. Your commitment to living a purpose driven and intentional life is what makes the passion struck movement so powerful. And together we're creating a ripple effect of positive change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
associate publisher, as well as I had a business role. And before I knew it, our editor in chief resigned and he asked me to fill in. So I ended up doing that for about two and a half years where I played both the publisher and the editor in chief. And through that, had remarkable interviews. I started this segment called the Bold Leader Spotlight.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
And through it, I got to interview people like Satya Nadella, your friends, Jack Dorsey and Jim McKelvey, Stan McChrystal and a whole bunch of others. But it really opened this world to me that I didn't know existed. And it really showed me how powerful ideas and words and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
as you suggest the questions we ask really are and i don't think i'd be doing passion struck today had it not been for that i appreciate your background so the question then becomes moving from journalism to becoming one of the most well-known and successful angel investors isn't a natural connection, how did that transpire?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Esther Dyson on the Impact of Technology on Humanity | EP 557
Because there was a point in time where you couldn't mix investing with being a journalist.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
They have greater access to medicines that can reduce the risk of death and disease. Through the marvels of modern technology and the vast amount of information that's available, they can readily learn about the rich cultures of countless societies past and present. And they have opportunities for both education and leisure that far surpass those of past generations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Yet so many struggle to find hope and meaning in their lives. And I don't think this is just a Western culture issue. My research and when I talk to more and more people, it, this is a worldwide issue that's probably impacting a quarter at least of the population, if not more. Can you go a little bit deeper into this?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
If you missed it, I highly recommend checking it out after this episode. And if you're new here, welcome to the Passion Struck Podcast. We are so glad to have you as part of this community. Passion Struck is all about unlocking human potential through intentional living.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And do you think that the suffering is tied ultimately to how we feel about how we hold significance to ourself and then how that evolves with how others feel that we hold significance towards them? Is that the root of what the issue is?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And we've got over 500 episodes covering leadership, mindset, mental health, physical health, relationships, and personal mastery. You can explore them all in our episode starter packs on either Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. Want even more insights on living a high-impact life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Yeah, I'm going to just jump on this. I saw one of the people who gave you an endorsement for the book is a mutual friend of both of ours, Arthur Brooks. Arthur is the latest person who talks about that we get the equation wrong when we consider happiness and success doesn't bring happiness, it's the inverse.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
But what he's really referring to is work that was done by Shawn Achor and the Happiness Advantage, and also in the work that Laura King and Ed Diener and Sonia Libromisky did years ago on this subject.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
But where I want to dive into is it is interesting that if you look at Bob Waldinger's work, most recent director for the Harvard study on adult aging, and you also look at the work of Richard Ryan and self-determination theory, they both bring up what you're talking about. It's our relationships. that matters so much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And if you look at self-determination theory on top of that, it's our autonomy and also our mastery. And sometimes I think that mastery and our will to succeed, at what we think society wants us to succeed at gets in the way of those relationships, which is what you're describing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Each week, I share exclusive content, challenges, actionable tools, and behind-the-scenes lessons in my Live Intentionally newsletter. It's designed to help you apply what you learn on the show into your everyday life. Sign up at passionstruck.com and start making intentionality a habit. Now back to today's episode.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
We get so caught up in our extrinsic motivations that we're really losing that intrinsic fire that's driving us and giving us that meaning. Is that kind of a good way to think about what you're describing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Okay. So here's where I want to go with this. I've heard you talk about Simon Conway Morris. For those on the podcast who aren't familiar with him, British paleontologist and evolutionary biologist best known for his work on convergent evolution and his studies on Cambrian explosion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And he describes, just as biological systems independently develop similar traits, these are like wings on birds, bats, butterflies, or eyes in different species, I contend that a theory that I often cite, social cycle theory, suggests that societies and civilizations often experience recurring patterns of behavior structures and dynamics over time. These cycles, convergent evolution,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And the social cycle theory might point to higher order principles or constraints guiding the development of human systems. What are your thoughts on that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
In this conversation with Dr. Wilkinson, we explore why our existence isn't a random accident and how science may actually point toward meaning. We go into the dual nature of humanity, our capacity for both selfishness and altruism, and how understanding this helps us make better choices. Dr. Wilkinson explains why relationships are the key to happiness and how they anchor our sense of mattering.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
It's interesting to me too. And I mean, you can take this so many different ways. A sidebar, one of the reasons that I've heard people say that Russia invaded Ukraine at this time is because Putin realized that they, in the next few years coming up, are not going to have the mass of people to fight a war. And so if he was going to deal with these choke points, Now was the time he needed to act.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
We discuss how life is a test, an opportunity to choose between good and bad and what that means for living with intention. And then lastly, we go into practical strategies to align your daily actions with a deeper sense of purpose. If you've ever questioned why you're here or struggled to find meaning in your life, this episode will give you a new lens to look through.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
I don't want us to explore this in any way. It just shows you how big this gap is becoming in populations where families used to have three, four, five, six, seven kids in Russia. And now many are choosing not to have any or they're only having one child, for instance. But what you speak to really highlights that our
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
evolutionary significance of deep abiding relationships is really central to our sense of mattering and human purpose. And when those deep relationships go to the wayside, or we fundamentally are not having that human to human interaction in the way that I think evolution wanted us to have it, it's very difficult to do that on a phone.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
I believe, as you were talking about, that it's the family relationships and their deterioration that may be the most alarming aspect of this because growing up, As a family unit, we did everything together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And I remember, especially on weekends, it was all set around doing activities around the whole family, going to church together, watching sports together, going to visit other relatives together or doing things like looking at museums or pieces of art together. And I think this whole family unit structure is completely breaking down and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
The more that it goes away, I think so does our feeling of our connections with others. Do you think there's a direct link to that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Dr. Wilkinson blends cutting edge science with timeless philosophical questions to help us live with more intention and fulfillment. Let's dive into this fascinating conversation with Dr. Sam Wilkinson, Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
That's something I haven't really thought a lot about, but I'm definitely going to put some attention to that. I've never thought about the sanctity of marriage as being that link to bring the father to their biological children, but it does make sense. Something you brought up there was the dual potential of human nature and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
You write that humans are endowed with competing impulses, selfishness and altruism, aggression and cooperation, lust and love, And I want to go into this question like this. I have been bringing on many more spiritual experts onto the show. And one of the things, especially when I talk to spiritual mediums, is they often refer to earth and our time here as earth school.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Dr. Sam Wilkinson to PassionStruck. Welcome, Sam.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And they say that what we're really going through is this idea that life is a test and that we are going through a test and that we have direction over the events that make up that test. And I introduce it like that in the hopes that maybe you can take that concept and maybe expand upon it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Sam, I love to start these interviews out by going into a bit of my guest background before we explore the core topics so people get to know you before we really get into the nuts and bolts. And I understand for you that your religious background has played a really foundational role in your life, even including going on a mission for a couple of years.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
OK. And in the book, you write that shortly after Darwin's theory of evolution became public, the Scottish author Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a famous book, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And everyone has heard of the story, but one of the central themes of the story is that every person has the potential for good and evil within themselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And something I talk a lot about on the podcast here is, as I've talked to a lot of behavior scientists, they talk about the power of micro decisions. I call them micro choices. And we don't realize the impact that the compounding choices, something that people refer to as choice bracketing in that world, amount to.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Meaning if you keep making a bunch of choices that are leading towards that choice to be Mr. Hyde, it results in a certain outcome. If you make more choices to become Dr. Jekyll, it results in an outcome. And I think people don't take a step back and look at that enough in their own life. Based on your research, can you explain the power of these choices?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Can you talk about why that has become so pivotal for you and how it's influenced the work that you do today at Yale and your entire education?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Thank you for sharing that. And I wanted to ask a follow-up question to that. I'm not sure if you've ever read Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
One of the things that he points out in the book is that when you look at all religions, they all teach people through the power of metaphors. And so many of the metaphors are exactly the same in each religion. They're just told through different characters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
But what he was talking about when he wrote it in the 1980s was that he felt that he predicted that more and more people were going to move away from organized religion. And he said that the primary reason for that is that over time, new religions had been born and they've been updated to The Times.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And he said part of the reason people are moving away from it is because the way that the stories or the metaphors are being told don't relate to modern society. Do you think there's any validity to that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Maybe just take it with you after this interview. I've thought a lot about it because the religion you practice is a relatively newer religion compared to some of the religions that are out there. But he was just saying that the metaphors that we talk about, it's hard for people to understand it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And I was lucky when I was in my mid thirties, I was going to a Methodist church and our minister was both had a PhD in divinity, but he also had a PhD in history. And what he was able to do is he was able to take stories from the Old Testament and he was able to bridge the gap and to talk about how they relate to modern society.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And it really helped me make the connections that I think so many people are missing. And it helped me understand how the points that were being made apply to me today, just as they did back then. That's my whole point.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Where I'm going to go is a completely different direction. On this podcast, one of my favorite things to do, in addition to talking to experts like yourself, is I really like to bring on what I call our everyday heroes onto the show. And an example of this is in episode 550, if people want to tune into it, I highlight this gentleman, Dr. Abraham George.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And Dr. Abraham spent much of his life in the United States acquiring wealth so that he could solve a systemic issue in India that he felt compelled to act upon. And so for the past 25 years, he started a school that has now helped 15,000 children break out of the lowest caste system that they were in India to provide them a better life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And in the book, one of the things I thought was really touching is you highlight this woman named Barbara Goodson, who in 2015 started giving free haircuts to the homeless. And you write at first, it was just a few cuts per month. Then she started giving haircuts to people coming out of prison. Next she include battered women.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
It soon turned into hundreds of haircuts and then eventually became a nonprofit that continues to grow. Where I want to go with this is I think they're everyday heroes walking all amongst us all the time, yet that's not who we typically are pointing our kids to for inspiration. What ends up happening is they tend to follow professional athletes or actors or a comic book hero that they see.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
So how do you think we start developing more of an evolutionary process where we're starting to reward more people like Barbara?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
It really ties into the work of Dacher Keltner and the listeners are probably so sick of me bringing him up, but Dacher in his latest book brought out the scientific research that he found that the way we most experience isn't by walks in nature or seeing majestic pieces of art. The way that we most commonly experience moments of awe in our lives
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
is by watching others do acts of service onto others, something that he calls moral beauty. And these acts of service are most likely done by what I refer to as these everyday heroes who are walking amongst us who don't get the recognition that they should. But I think it's important to highlight this aspect of moral beauty because it is so important to our feeling of significance inside.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
So I want to go, as we're ending this interview, back to where I started. Your book was cited by the Next Big Idea Club. And one of my favorite things about that club is that they give the author the opportunity to describe their book around five thoughts. And as I was reading yours and preparing for this, one really stood out to me. And I'm going to read it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
The point of life is not to point out the weaknesses of your spouse, your neighbor, or even your political opponent. The point of life is to point out and overcome the weaknesses in ourselves. And this takes me back to a comment I made. that I think we're facing a crisis of disconnection and the person we're most disconnected with is ourselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And if we don't have an innate, if we're not sitting with ourselves, if we're not digesting the weaknesses that we have and how we're loving others, how we're in relationships with others, how we're serving the world, if we don't see those weaknesses, then we can't overcome them. I don't know if you have any parting words based on that last point.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Sam, my final question is your book gives us a profound framework for understanding our existence. If there was one intentional action or mindset shift you'd encourage listeners to adopt today, what would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Well, thank you. And where is the best place the audience can go to learn more about you and your work?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Sam, thank you so much for joining us today, and congratulations again on your very thoughtful provoking book. That wraps up today's powerful conversation with Dr. Sam Wilkinson, a deep exploration of evolution, purpose, and the human experience, challenging conventional thinking and offering new perspective on how science and meaning can coexist.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Dr. Wilkinson's insights into human duality, the power of relationships, and the idea of life as a test have given us invaluable tools to approach life with greater intentionality and connection. As we close, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect. Are your daily choices aligned with a deeper sense of purpose? Are you investing in relationships that bring out your best self?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And how are you navigating the ongoing challenge of choosing growth over complacency? These are the questions that define a life of meaning and fulfillment. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to leave a five-star rating and review. Your support fuels this mission and helps us bring impactful conversations to the Passion Star community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And if you know someone who could benefit from this discussion, share it with them. Because one idea, one conversation can change the course of a life. For links to everything we discussed, including Dr. Wilkinson's book, Purpose, what evolution and human nature imply about the meaning of our existence, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
You can also check out the video version of this episode on YouTube and explore exclusive deals from our partners at passionstruck.com slash deals. Supporting them allows us to continue delivering these transformational episodes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And if today's conversation sparked something in you and you'd like to bring these insights into your organization, team, or community, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how we can work together to ignite intentional change. Next week, I'm thrilled to welcome Dr. Lori Santos, Yale professor and host of the Happiness Lab to the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
We'll be diving into the science of happiness, what truly makes us happy. why we often chase the wrong things, and how to rewire our brains for long-term fulfillment. If you've ever struggled with stress comparison or finding lasting joy, this is an episode you won't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action because knowledge without action is just potential left untapped. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And as I understand it, as you were in medical school at Johns Hopkins, there was a pivotal moment in your first year that impacted both your spiritual life and your intellectual curiosity. And that was, you were wrestling with the compatibility of your faith and the theory of evolution. If you think back upon that time, what questions
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
were weighing on your mind and how did they challenge your beliefs at that time?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 581 of PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
thank you for sharing that. And that's actually how you open up the book is talking about this experience. And the book I'm referring to is titled purpose, what evolution and human nature imply about the meaning of our existence and congratulations on the book. And it also being featured as a member of the next big idea club.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
So one of my favorite authors that I have referred to on a regular basis is Clayton Christensen. Okay. Clayton Christensen. And my understanding is early on, over a decade before you even wrote Purpose, you reached out to Clayton Christensen for advice because you had seen him speak and it was really a transformative experience for you. What stood out
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
for you about the way that Clayton integrated faith with intellectual rigor and how did his approach influence your own perspective of bridging science and spirituality?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Thank you for sharing that and thank you for honoring his legacy. So Sam, many scientists have argued that evolution is purely random and devoid of any overarching purpose. However, you highlight evidence throughout the book that suggests otherwise. Can you walk us through some of what you think are the most important findings and how they may reshape our understanding of human significance?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Let me ask you, what if everything we know about evolution, purpose, and human existence was only part of the story? Today, I'm joined by Dr. Sam Wilkinson, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University and author of the new book, Purpose. what evolution and human nature imply about the meaning of our existence.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Thank you for sharing that. And one of the areas I really want to deep dive into is this crisis of meaning that you write about and I've heard you talk about. So I'm going to introduce this to you like this, Sam, so you have some context. Earlier in my career, I was a senior executive at Fortune 50 companies like Lowe's and Dell in very senior roles.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
Dr. Wilkinson challenges the idea that life is a random accident, offering a fresh perspective on how evolution itself may point to a deeper purpose. But before we dive in, earlier this week, I had an incredible conversation on Tuesday with Natalie Namaste about intuitive healing, overcoming limiting patterns, and aligning with your soul's purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
In the midst of all of that, I got a calling from whether you refer to it as source or God or whatever, that I was supposed to help. The words that were given to me were the helpless, the hopeless, the lonely, the broken, the battered. And for years, I really struggled with who were those people and how could I possibly make a difference and why was I being called? And
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
As I was reading your book, and I'm going to read this for the audience, I saw these words and it connects to the same thing that I believe I am called to help people with. I call it the disease of disconnection and that we are disconnected as a society. We're disconnected in our relationships, but overwhelmingly we're disconnected from ourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Samuel Wilkinson on Why Life Is a Test of Good and Evil | EP 581
And so you write, as I've worked with hundreds of depressed patients over the years, I found that many people struggle with a sense of purpose or meaning in their lives. You write, I find this tragically ironic. Compared to those earlier time periods, people who lived in developed countries today have so much to live for.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
So I want to tell you this story. I used to volunteer in a cold weather shelter, which is ironic here in Florida because it doesn't get cold that much. But when it does, it certainly, you can tell the difference because we're used to it being so hot.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
But I remember one of the most rewarding aspects of this volunteer work that I did was a lot of people would volunteer and they would try to avoid the homeless. And instead... I would try to connect with them and, and try to understand their stories. And I w once met, um, this gentleman who used to be a cardiologist. He was one of the top cardiologists in Tampa Bay and.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
He had so much stress in his job and he was having some problems in his relationships with his wife that he started to go down this path of using drugs and one drug led to another drug, which led to another drug, which led to a full blown addiction. And then he started stealing painkillers from his practice and other things got caught and he lost it all.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
that the key to living a life of purpose and focus isn't about eliminating distractions, but understanding and managing them in a way that helps you take back control of your attention. That's exactly what today's guest is here to help us with. In this episode, I'm sitting down with Eric Zimmer, a behavioral coach, certified interfaith spiritual director,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
His wife left him, his kids wouldn't talk to him. He lost his medical license. And he was just telling me that you see these people like me who are homeless and you think it can't happen to you. And he goes, you don't realize how close any of us potentially are to this happening to them. And he described to me that addiction often feels like a slow unraveling. Did it feel that way to you as well?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I can completely understand where you're, what you were just talking about, because I think that's what happened to me in my own life. I have been sober now for about, I don't know, going on 18 months and congratulations. Yeah. I didn't really ever look at it. Like I had a problem. I just didn't feel like I was performing at my best and that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I was looking at the alcohol to, like you were describing early on, bring out areas of me that I thought brought out different dimensions. And the more I have focused on my own self-worth and doing the inner things to really know me, the less I have felt over time, the need to drink to bring out a part of me that I'm already happy with the person I am.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
and host of the award-winning podcast, One You Feed. Eric has an incredible story of overcoming addiction, rebuilding his life, and now helping others live intentionally by feeding the good wolf in their own lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
But one of the things that was really interesting to me, because this isn't the first time I've stopped drinking, I've done it before, is when you go out just to see how much of a norm it is in society It is the norm. Not drinking is not the norm.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And it has really been impactful on more than I even suspected it might on some of the relationships, both seeing from my perspective, how much of my activities surrounded around drinking is the common element, but also how many people have pulled away from me now that I've stopped, who still partake. So have you seen any of these things in your own life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Eric's journey from facing personal challenges to becoming a source of inspiration for many offers a powerful reminder that no matter where we start, we can transform our lives through small, intentional actions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I want to go into something because I loved when I was doing my research that you were a software developer and you got into that because much of my career was spent in information technology. I started on the network side, information security. I've been a developer myself. and then ended up taking on more management roles over at eventually becoming a CIO.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I understand the development world well. Here's where I wanted to go with it. Oftentimes I found developers to be some of the most creative people I knew. I also found them oftentimes to be sensitive. And do you think there's any connection between sensitivity and creativity and the vulnerability to addiction?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
In today's conversation, Eric shares his personal journey of overcoming addiction and rediscovering his purpose, the power of small, deliberate actions in creating lasting change, how we can shift our mindset and cultivate habits that align with our values, practical strategies for overcoming shame and finding resilience, and lastly, how to create a life of purpose, even when the road feels overwhelming.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I mean, you have to go back and wonder would the Beatles have ever become the Beatles or the Rolling Stones ever become the Rolling Stones or Guns N' Roses or Metallica. I mean, there's so many of them where drugs played an overwhelming portion of their exploration and what they produced. David Bowie, others. You could go on and on.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Before we dive into today's episode, let me quickly recap some recent conversations. On Tuesday, I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Ethan Cross, where we explored how to harness our emotions to create a more purposeful life.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Yes, and I just want to pick up on a couple of things you said, because I know for me, when I was younger and I've always been a creative person, in fact, my mind sometimes would never shut down. And that's part of the reason I would drink was to try to quiet it down because I couldn't sleep and do other things. And the other portion of me is I've always been an introvert.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
So in social settings, it helped give me the courage to speak out and be a different version of myself. So it was very advantageous for those things. Now I want to ask you, have you ever seen the documentary where they created We Are the World, that song?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Well, it was really interesting. And I'm just going to talk about Bob Dylan for a second, because Bob Dylan ends up showing up to this and he, You have Stevie Wonder there and obviously Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and everyone else. But out of all of them, Bob Dylan might have been the biggest name there.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
It was an episode you won't want to miss, and this past Friday, I shared a solo episode on the importance of fighting for your soul and staying aligned with your true purpose. Be sure to check it out if you missed it. If you love these conversations and want to dive deeper into topics like emotional resilience, self-awareness, and intentional living, Make sure to explore our episode starter packs.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And yet in this film, Stevie Wonder, them almost having to manage him because Stevie Wonder wanted to make the song his own. And Michael and Lionel had already written it when they invited him into it. But Bob Dylan shows up and the song they end up producing is way out of his vocal range for a lot of it.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And instead of asking them to do anything else or trying to sing parts that were out of his vocal range, you watch him on camera and there are many... elements where he's participating, but he just doesn't sing. He's encouraging the others. And it was very striking to me that he had so much understanding of himself and confidence that he knew his place.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
He wanted to be there to support it, but he didn't make it about him. And it was just an interesting thing that I thought I would share.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Wow. And the whole filming of this happened after they went to an awards ceremony. So it's already happening from like midnight to five o'clock in the morning and they keep bringing more and more alcohol and drugs and other things to it. So yes, I could only imagine. So I wanna go back to your journey and I often talk about this concept of defining moments.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And I think we all have defining moments who shape who we become. Was there a moment or realization for you that led you to finally seek help and be, and begin your recovery journey?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
They're available on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. Don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive content, challenges, and tools to stay aligned with your goals every single week. Now, let's dive into episode 569 of the Passion Struck Podcast with Eric Zimmer.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I think that's a fabulous answer. And you ended up going into the 12 step program, which has a whole underlying philosophy of service. Yes. My question around this is one of surrendering. How did surrendering both to the process and more importantly to the need for help become a critical part of your recovery?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to bring you Eric Zimmer. Welcome, Eric. Thanks, John. I'm glad to be here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
As the conversation progresses, I'm going to ask you some questions about your podcast, but I just wanted to start out by paying you a compliment that I love the way that you interview and I love what you do with your show. So thank you for bringing it to the world.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
That's very kind. Eric, my show centers on this idea that everyone matters and that we can rebuild our lives intentionally. To begin with, I'd love to hear what does the idea of mattering mean to you personally?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
when you had that relapse where you went back after eight years and started drinking again, because I'm sure as you got into that, you went through another period where you were probably not very happy with yourself.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Thanks for sharing that. And yesterday I was talking to my friend, Bob Sutton, who wrote the book on closing the gap between knowing and doing. And as someone who's lived through it and also coaches others, I think you've seen how behavior change is so difficult for most people, even when they know that they really need to do it.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
What do you think are the most critical conditions that need to be met for someone to make lasting changes in their behavior?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
It reminds me, speaking of behavior scientists, of this concept from behavior science called choice bracketing. Not sure if you're familiar with it or not, but it's really about a way of thinking about decisions that involves considering, do you evaluate your choices separate or together? And most of us practice narrow bracketing where We're thinking too much about just an individual decision.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
We're broad bracketing. Really, you take a step above it and you look at the consequences of a series of choices together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
100%.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
So I want to end our discussion by going to Zen teachings, because along your journey, you ended up becoming a big fan of Zen. And it seems to be, as I can see, a real counterbalance to your earlier approach to life. Zen really emphasizes direct experiences over conceptual thinking. Yes. How do you think?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
That aspect of it, as we've been talking about behavior change, et cetera, helps people bridge the gap and become more present in their lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Yeah, and I always love looking back at Phil Jackson's career and how he used Zen to really influence the way he was coaching these players who each had mega personalities and even realizing when it comes to Dennis Rodman that sometimes you got to let him go and do his own thing. to bring them back into the fold of what you want them to do.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And I want to end on this. You and I have both interviewed a ton of interesting guests along the way. What has surprised you most about hosting the podcast? Is there something that's profoundly changed your perspective?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Well, Eric, that was really profound. And you were one of the first people I've ever had on the podcast who gets my vision of mattering. So I love that you brought our sense of self-mattering and its impact on helping others feel they matter and the reciprocal nature that it has. So what a profound way of describing it. Couldn't have said it better myself.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Which you think about his legacy, it's a pretty powerful statement.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Yeah, well, you look at some people who are very prolific writers and they pump out tons of product. And then you look at someone like Susan Cain, who comes up with books very seldomly, but when they do, they're masterpieces. And it's because knowing her, she pours so much into it to make sure she's getting to that quality level that she believes it needs to be at.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Well, I'll have to check out your episode with them because I've got Oliver coming up for an interview in the next couple of weeks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
I will. Eric, it's been really a profound honor to have you on the show. For those who want to learn more about you, where's the best place for them to go?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Eric, it was surely a pleasure. Thank you so much for doing this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
What an inspiring and thought-provoking conversation that was with Eric Zimmer. His journey from addiction to intentional living reminds us that no matter how far we fall, we all have the power to rebuild. Eric's insights on feeding the good wolf, aligning with our values and embracing small deliberate steps towards change are lessons we can all apply to our own lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Absolutely. I always, in these interviews, love to give the audience some backdrop of who you are so they understand where we're going. And I think you do the same thing in your interviews. Looking back as a child, you struggled with kleptomania and were really acting out. Looking back
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
One of the biggest takeaways from today's episode is the importance of intentionality, how making even the smallest deliberate choices can transform not just our careers, but our entire sense of self-worth and purpose.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Eric's exploration of Zen, behavioral change, and the idea of mattering is a powerful reminder that we can create a life that truly resonates with who we are, no matter where we start. As we wrap up, take a moment to reflect on your own journey. Are there areas where you might be feeding the wrong wolf or letting autopilot guide your decisions?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
What small intentional step can you take today to start moving toward the life you envision? Remember, the power lies in choosing your path rather than letting it choose you. If today's episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your feedback not only helps the show grow, but also empowers others to discover these life-changing insights.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And if you know someone who could benefit from Eric's message, share this episode with them. It could be the spark they need to begin their own transformation. For links to everything we discussed today, including Eric's work and his podcast, The One You Feed, check out the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
You'll also find information on our sponsors at passionstruck.com slash deals, where you can take advantage of special offers that help fuel the show and bring you incredible content every week. Beyond the podcast, I'm passionate about sharing these messages through speaking engagements with organizations, conferences, and teams.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
If today's episode sparked something in you and you think these insights could inspire your organization, I'd love to explore how we can work together. Visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking. And don't forget to subscribe to our Live Intentionally newsletter for exclusive content and weekly challenges. And you can also watch today's conversation on YouTube.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Check out the John R. Miles channel and the PassionStruck Clips channel for highlights and key takeaways. Before we go, here's a preview of what's coming up next on PassionStruck. Joining us is Shige Oishi as he shares his incredible insights on how to build a life of resilience, clarity, and intentional growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
It's an episode filled with actionable strategies for overcoming adversity, cultivating mental strength, and unlocking your fullest potential.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Thank you, as always, for spending your time with us here on Passion Struck. If you found value in today's episode, the fee is simple. Share it with someone who could benefit from these powerful insights. And as always, do your best to apply what you learn here so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
tying to this concept of mattering, do you think those behaviors were connected to a deeper sense as a child to feel seen and to feel that you mattered?
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Okay, and I think we all have... these upbringings that shape who we are today. And my parents, when I look back, were extremely different in their styles. My father really grew up with a father who was an alcoholic and who was removed. And so he tended to more lash out in anger. And my mom was more perfectionist to say that.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And in your case, you had two parents who had different manifestations of depression, your father's anger and your mom's withdraw. If my research is correct, you've done good research.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
How did they impact your emotional development and your coping mechanisms?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome back to episode 569.
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Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
Yeah, thank you for being vulnerable and going into that. It sounds like your parents' struggles added such a layer of complexity to your upbringing and really impacted your sense of self and your ability to be seen and navigate your life as a young person. I think that backdrop really builds on where I want to go next.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
And I've heard you mention in other conversations listening to you that addiction doesn't always stem from when dealing with trauma, but can result from chronic stress or a sense of, as we've been just talking about, disconnection. What do you think contributed most to your own path toward addiction?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Eric Zimmer on Why Surrender Is the Secret to Your Best Life | EP 569
If you're new to the show, thank you so much for joining us. You have just joined a community that's all about igniting passion, living intentionally, and creating a life of purpose. Let me ask you, have you ever felt like your life is being pulled in 100 different directions, leaving you unable to focus on what truly matters? What if I told you...
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I love both those stories. And Nicole is another guest that I've had the privilege of having on the show. I love her books. They're so easily digestible and applicable. And I can see why between that and the crazy stuff she does on social media, why she's so popular. But I think you brought up something that's really important there is
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I know I've been asked a number of times, like, how did I get some of the endorsements that I got for my book? And when you reach that, well, sometimes publishers do it for you. But in my case, I asked all the people directly. But what I found is you can't do this cold turkey. It's not like I'm going to ask Seth Godin for an endorsement without knowing him.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I mean, it was over a few years building up a relationship with him that gave me the confidence that he knew who I was, knew what I stood for. I'd invested time in getting to know him. And even when I asked him, he said, look, there's no guarantees. I don't do many of these, but I'm willing to take a look at it and we'll go from there.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
to step into the most aligned, purpose-driven version of yourself. That is exactly what we're diving into today with my guest, Francesca Sipma, a transformational coach, breathwork facilitator, and the visionary behind HypnoBreathwork. But before we get there, let's take a moment to reflect on the incredible conversation we had earlier this week.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So I think it's an important lesson because you've got to build that bond if you want someone to reciprocate.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Of course. I think the first time I heard him on a podcast, I think it was with Lewis Howes. And I think it was like Lewis's first or second podcast he ever did. But love his work.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, that's a great story and a valuable lesson as well. I want to go back to something you touched on. Well, before we do that, since we've been talking a little bit about the book, how did you come up with the title Unblock Your Purpose? Because in my subtitle, as you brought up, as we were talking beforehand, I say unlock your purpose. You say unblock your purpose.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Dave Vago, a leading neuroscientist and mindfulness expert, to discuss the neuroscience of mattering. why our brains are wired for belonging, and how mindfulness can help us create purpose and connection. If you haven't listened yet, be sure to check it out. Last Friday, I shared a powerful solo episode on deep work and the five keys to mattering in life.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And there's the, it's a slight, but interesting and profound difference.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, I love it. Mine originally was going to be much shorter and it was almost going to be, I'm not sure if you've read Robin Sharma's book, The 5AM Club, but he's got a very short subtitle and it was going to be like that. And my publisher didn't like it, so they expanded it. So mine, but it captured the essence of what I was, what I was going for.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, where I wanted to go back to is you mentioned before some of the things that hold people back. And a couple of those things are fear, negativity, bias, imposter syndrome, the desire for certainty. And those things keep people stuck in their track. How does hypnobreath work help people to overcome those barriers and to embrace the unknown?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Breaking down how eliminating distractions and focusing on what truly matters can transform the way you show up in your career, relationships, and personal growth. And don't forget, if you're looking for curated episodes on topics like emotional well-being, mindset, personal mastery, peak performance, and alternative health, check them out
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I love it. I just did a solo episode today that is all about how do you bridge the gap between theory and action? So I love that that's a core focus area for you as well. So I have recently had a few guests on the show, specifically Lisa Miller and Susan Grau. Lisa, if you're not familiar with her, studies the science of spirituality. And Susan is a master in spirituality and a medium.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And it reminded me of how your work blends science and spirituality in a unique way. How do you go about balancing these two seemingly opposing forces to create something that resonates not only logically, but also touches the emotional side of people?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I like that, merge spirituality with strategy. Where's the first place someone would start in attempting to try to do that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
on our episode starter packs, either at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify. For weekly inspiration and actionable insights, be sure to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter, also at PassionStruck, where I share exclusive tools and challenges to help you apply what you learn here to your own life.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, thank you for that. And I wanted to now go a little bit deeper into flow state. So in my book, I describe this as achieving the state of optimal anxiety, because the way I think about it is it's almost like you're on a tight rope and if the tight rope is not tight enough, you're going to fall off because it's got too much give in it. But if it's too tight, you can also have the same thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So it's how do you balance that equilibrium between the two? So I guess as a starter, Francesca, how would you define flow state?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I don't know if you have ever seen the work that McKinsey did on this, but they studied executives who were in the flow state and those who are not. And it actually, their findings found that people who are able to get in the flow state are able to do the same amount of work in two hours that their peers do in a full day of work. It's pretty amazing.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And if you prefer watching these conversations, every episode is available on our YouTube channel, where you can catch video highlights, full episodes, and more. And if you truly love today's episode or any of our episodes, please consider leaving us a five-star rating and review. It helps us magnify our mission and bring more people into this community.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, man, I love that. And I want to get into that. a bit more in a couple of questions. I want to talk about something that I have found impacts flow state for me. And that's the role of emotions. For example, can processing negative emotions or clearing blocks through breath work actually create a better pathway to flow?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Well, and I've got a great follow-on to that because flow is often fleeting for most people. Let's face it, it is. People get in the flow state and they get out of it. How can hypnobreathwork or other intentional practices make flow more sustainable so that they can do what you were just talking about for a longer duration?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Now, let's talk about our guest today, Francesca Sipma. Francesca is a former New York City advertising executive turned transformational coach, entrepreneur, and founder of Mastery, a personal development platform designed to help individuals break through subconscious blocks and and unlock peak performance.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Okay, thank you for sharing that. And I want to get back to using this in a business context. So you have worked, as you were describing, with teams and corporate groups to achieve flow. My question here goes into, we've been talking a lot about individual flow. How does the energy of a group impact the ability to reach flow state? And how, if you're a leader...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
who wants to empower their whole group, how do they foster this dynamic trait in their teams?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Francesca is the creator of Hypno Breathwork, a breakthrough methodology that fuses breathwork, hypnosis, and visioning to rewire limiting beliefs, eliminate self-doubt, and activate intuitive decision-making. Her work has impacted everyone from Fortune 500 executives, Olympic athletes, and high achievers worldwide.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I think one of the things, I think it's difficult to understand on both sides. Having been a C-level executive in a Fortune 50 company myself, I think it's difficult for the employees, especially a couple rungs down, to understand just how much pressure
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
how much politics, how much HR issues, how much demands there are on the executives and why they might be a bit disconnected at times as you were talking about. But I think the other thing
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
That's important is the best boxes, I think, do this framework that I talk about, which is speaking with their feet, which means it's not just sitting in your office or dealing only with your peers or only trying to manage above.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
It's getting out and being with the troops and being seen and just spending a few minutes every single day asking questions, trying to stay attuned to what's happening makes people feel like they matter. And so I think that's one of the things people miss out on and they don't let themselves understand the feelings that their employees are feeling.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So because of that, they can't be empathetic to them. Does that make sense to you?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
helping them all to access flow states, emotional clarity, and deep personal alignment. Her new book, Unlock Your Purpose, Breathwork, Intuition, and Flow State reveals how we can overcome fear, reprogram the subconscious mind, and live with greater clarity, purpose, and fulfillment. Francesca's work bridges science and spirituality, provide a powerful roadmap for personal transformation.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I can completely relate to what you just said, and I've lived it from both sides. So much to think about there. Well, I want to take this from the business world back to the individual discussion. You've described hypnobreath work as disruptive in the best way. And one of the things that I know a lot of people struggle with is navigating resistance.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
How, both in your own journey and as you bring this method to the world, have you found hypnobreath work to be disruptive in the best way about helping people navigate resistances that they face?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Yeah, it reminds me, I've got a good friend, Scott Simon, and he's got this wonderful book called Scare Your Soul. And he goes throughout the country getting people to do courage movements. And for him, it's using exercises and courage expanding to get your soul to move further and further out so that you go after the things you really want in life.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So speaking of fear, I think one of the things people fear is going down the path of being an entrepreneur. Now we've seen an uptick in it since COVID hit, but in your own journey, you've had to balance being a healer and a business leader. So my question to you is what advice would you give to listeners and entrepreneurs
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
In our discussion, we explore why traditional goal setting doesn't always work and what to do instead. This is something, if you want to turn back to it, you can also look to my episode with Caroline Miller, where we did a deep dive on this very topic as well. We also go through the science behind hypnobreathwork and how it can rewire your subconscious.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
on how do you navigate uncertainty like we've been talking about while you stay true to your vision?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I also want to go into this area. You've mentioned one or two times today this concept of autopilot. And I used to like to say that so many people are living on autopilot. And as I have been doing more and more research on this, I think it's the wrong word to describe people. Because when you're on autopilot, you're typically going in a positive direction. I mean, if not, the plane would crash.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And so I have come up with this metaphor that I think more people today are living their life like they're a pinball. They're living a pinball life and they're the ball in the game instead of learning how to play the game. And to me, that's the difference between being intentional with the choices that you make and not.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So using that metaphor, how does your book and Hypno Breathwork encourage people to to live more aligned to playing the game instead of allowing it to play them.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
We discuss how fear and the need for certainty keep us stuck and how to break free, why intuition is the ultimate success tool, and how to strengthen yours. We do a deep dive into the role of breathwork in unlocking peak creativity, clarity, and flow, and how to take intentional action towards your highest potential. If you've ever felt held back
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And Francesca, it's been such a great opportunity to talk to you today. If you could leave our listeners with one key takeaway from your book or your journey, what would it be?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Okay. And then lastly, where can the audience go to learn more about HypnoBreath work, your retreats, your app, and your new book?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Wow. You got that nailed. So, well, thank you so much for joining us today. It was such a pleasure to have you on the show.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
What an incredible conversation with Francesca Sipma from unlocking the power of hypnobreath work to breaking free from subconscious limitations. Today's episode has been a deep dive into how we can rewire our minds, access our intuition and live with more clarity, flow and purpose.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Francesca's journey leaving the high-pressure corporate world to create a global movement for personal transformation shows us what's possible when we trust ourselves, embrace uncertainty, and take intentional action. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on your biggest takeaways from today's discussion. limiting beliefs are holding you back?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
How can you tap into your intuition and take a line to action toward the life you truly want? The tools Francesca shared today aren't just theories. They are powerful practices that can help you unblock your purpose and step into your full potential. If her insights resonated with you, I'd love for you to take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
by self-doubt, struggled to trust your instincts, or sensed you were meant for something more. This episode will give you the tools, insights, and inspiration to break through. So let's dive in. Here's my conversation with Francesca Sipma. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Your feedback fuels the PassionStruck movement and helps us bring more impactful conversations to listeners worldwide. And if you know someone who could benefit from today's message, share this episode with them because sometimes one conversation is all it takes to ignite lasting change.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
You can find links to everything we discussed today, including Francesca's book, Unblock Your Purpose, her Hypno Breathwork courses, and her app in the show notes at passionstruck.com. You can also watch the full video version on YouTube and be sure to explore exclusive offers from our sponsors at passionstruck.com slash deals.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Supporting our shows helps us keep the show thriving and allows us to continue delivering high impact content every single week. Speaking of impact, I am passionate about helping organizations, teams, and communities bring these insights into actionable transformation. Today's episode sparked ideas for your workplace team or leadership group. I'd love to collaborate. Visit johnrmiles.com speaking.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
to learn how I can help ignite intentional change and purpose-driven action through keynotes, workshops, and executive coaching. The fee for the show is simple. If you have found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs it. And remember, apply what you hear here so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I am so excited today to welcome Francesca Sibma to the PassionStruck podcast. Welcome, Francesca.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So just to give you a little bit of background, at PassionStruck, we explore how individuals can live more intentionally, and we focus on purpose and how to create a life that truly matters. And as I was getting into your book, And preparing for this, I found that your work is such a perfect example of this ethos.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Helping people clear subconscious blocks, tap into their intuition, achieve peak performance. I am so excited to go into your new book and into your hypno breath work So I thought a good place to start was you spent a decade in New York's advertising world, which I know how challenging that world can be before embarking on a spiritual sabbatical.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And I think this is the first parallel that I saw between the two of us. We both had these big careers in large scale organizations, and then we both had kind of an awakening. Can you take us back to that pivotal moment when you realized something fundamental was missing in your life?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Did you ever have this experience that you just felt so much apathy in a way that you were almost becoming numb to it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 566 of the PassionStruck podcast.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Yeah, I think one of the best stories I've heard of that is when I talked to Gabby Bernstein and how she was facing that same thing and then had that awakening that she could either keep going down the path that she was on or she could do away with the bad habits she had, some of the things she was doing, and touch millions of people with her work.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And I see the same connection to what you're doing. So you end up doing travels, as I understand it, through Bali, Peru, and India, and that led you into breathwork and ultimately the creation of Hypnobreathwork. What was it about this practice overall that resonated so deeply with you and inspired you to dedicate so much of your life to it.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I have. I started doing breathwork all the way back in my mid twenties, ironically, when I was working with SEAL teams and we did a lot of yoga, a lot of mindfulness training and a ton of breathwork, both for when we were firing weapons, but more for keeping ourselves calm when you're in an operational state.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Yeah, so I understand that the methodology combines breathwork, hypnosis, and visioning. And it was interesting because I'm not sure, I know you live in San Diego, so someone you might wanna catch up with is Mark Devine. Mark is a former SEAL and he really dives into these same three types of areas. And it was these things that helped him
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
I think, be the first leader at BUDS who ever had his entire boat crew get through all of the training because he got them to use breathwork, he got them to use visioning, and he got them to really start looking at their challenges as if they were a rubber band. And that sometimes the challenge is so intense that you need to look at it as a contracted.
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
And other times the challenges is more elongated, like a rubber band spread out. And I bring him into my book because it was such a powerful practice. So I wanted to ask is that as a buildup, how do these three elements work together to help people clear blocks and then achieve flow state?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
Have you ever felt stuck, like there's something more waiting for you, but you just can't seem to access it? What if the key to unlocking your full potential isn't working harder, but about rewiring your subconscious?
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
So before we got started today, I told you, I got to listen in to an interview you did with a mutual friend of ours, John Kim. And one of the things I liked that you brought out that I'm going to ask you to bring out in this interview as well, is you went through a number of different examples of how intuition and this practice of hypno breath work influenced you to make, um,
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
releasing fear and tapping into your intuition our thoughts emotions and behaviors are deeply shaped by subconscious patterns many of which were formed long before we were even aware of them these invisible barriers can keep us trapped in cycles of doubt hesitation or even burnout but what if you could break through them what if you could reprogram your mind
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Francesca Sipma on How to Unblock Your Purpose Through HypnoBreathwork | EP 566
some certain decisions that have led to positive outcomes in your trajectory. One of them was actually about John Kim. So I thought maybe that would be a good example of how you've pulled this together in a tangible way.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Yeah, it's interesting. I'm sure you're familiar with Dacher Keltner, and Dacher and I have talked about his experience at Sam Quentin. And I want to tie this back to your book because we were talking about his book, Awe, when it came out, and we were specifically talking about the concept of moral beauty, how we experience awe the most through small acts of kindness.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
I sat down with organizational psychologist and bestselling author, Tasha Yurek, to explore her groundbreaking new book, Shatterproof. We dug into what it means to be truly self-aware and how resilience isn't about being unbreakable. It's about learning how to rise stronger. If you missed this episode, I highly recommend going back to check it out. Now, let me ask you this.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And what he was telling me was that he thought at San Quentin, that would be the least expected place that you would see people experiencing awe. Yet he said he saw it completely different, that some of the prisoners he observed experienced it more than a common person because they took the small acts as so much more because
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
to them, the small acts that they got to experience were so much more profound because of their captivity. Does that resonate with you at all?
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you so much for sharing that, Craig. And I want to jump now to your book. And I must say, it was a really intriguing read for me. And I loved the stories you told and how you immersed it with science along with the narrative. Well done on how you wrote it. But as I was reading it, you really emphasized three foundational questions throughout. Do I belong? Can I do it? Who am I?
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Why do these questions matter so deeply to our ability to flourish?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
What if big changes don't require big actions, but instead small, intentional steps? How can the belief of one person transform your life's trajectory? And what would happen if you appreciated every relationship, every interaction from a place of trust, empathy, and genuine understanding? Today, we're diving deep into these transformative questions with Dr. Gregg Walton.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
So one of the interviews I did last year was with an author named Jennifer Wallace, and she wrote this great book on mattering where she was really looking at the achievement culture that is so rampant today with children. And one of the things I remember her talking to me about was that a child's sense of mattering really comes from their parents who they look up to and interact with.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And if the parents go to work and they don't feel like they matter and they're emotionally exhausted when they get home, it's almost impossible for them to reinforce the child's feeling that they matter. And where I'm going with this is in the book you beautifully wrote, every child needs at least one adult who is irrationally crazy about them.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And where I wanted to go with this is why is unconditional belief so transformative in someone's life, especially a child's?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you so much for sharing that. And I can't say I've ever watched the movie, but I'm now going to go look into it in more detail for sure.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Greg's journey into human connection and belonging began when he was a teenager, and it was profoundly shaped by witnessing global poverty firsthand and a life-changing experience of being falsely arrested. His curiosity drove him into groundbreaking research, exploring how small shifts in our mindset can radically alter our life outcomes.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Mine are a little bit older.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
So as I was reading through the book, it became very clear that mentors have played a big role in your life. And you mentioned Eleanor Maccabee, and I was hoping you could share the story of her encouraging note, because I think it really captured how deeply small gestures can affect us in such a positive way.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
So, Greg, I wanted to ask you a few questions probing mattering and Earlier this week, I got to interview Gordon Flett, who I'm not sure if you're familiar with, but he wrote the book, The Psychology of Mattering. And he and I were having this discussion around why so many people today feel so unseen and how do we become more intentional about genuinely seeing others in everyday life?
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And we started talking about this concept of reciprocity, that if you want to feel seen, there's a need for you also to make other people feel seen. And oftentimes that loop is broken. And I wanted to see if this is something that you've run across in your own research.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Greg is a professor of psychology at Stanford University and the author of Ordinary Magic, the science of how we can achieve big changes with small acts. His work has been celebrated by the Next Big Idea Club and acclaimed worldwide for its transformative insights on belonging, trust, and intentional change.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
I agree with you. I think at times the whole concept gets overcomplicated because sometimes we're not trying hard enough and sometimes we're over trying. And I think there's a space between that more research and focus needs to be put on.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
In today's episode, Greg and I explore how belief and belonging can shift the course of a child's life. While small acts often have the biggest emotional ripple, taught to cultivate intentional empathy and psychological safety and what it truly means to matter to yourself and to others.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
I couldn't agree more. And thank you so much for sharing that. One of the things that you do in the book is in each of the parts, you explain answers to the questions that you ask in the parts, but then at the end of some of the parts, you then go into applying it to things that are really paramount right now in society. And we talked about
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
as we started your experience in indonesia and seeing poverty etc so one of the things that you look at in depth is global poverty and aid and you really go into the work of catherine thomas's research noting because the show talks a lot about intentions that intentions are not impact and through the lens of poverty and programs how can
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
aid programs, specifically better align intentions with positive, respectful outcomes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
This episode is a call to action to live with intention, to lead with empathy, and to create meaningful impact in the most ordinary moments. If you're looking to go deeper, check out our episode starter packs at Spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
With over 590 episodes now, we've curated playlists on themes like emotional resilience, intentional living, alternative health, and personal transformation. And don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive insights, challenges, actionable strategies, and behind-the-scenes content.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Now, let's dive into this powerful conversation with the extraordinary Dr. Gregg Walton. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to create an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored and thrilled today to welcome Dr. Gregg Walton to PassionStruck. Welcome, Gregg. How are you today?
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Well, I first wanted to say congratulations on your new book, Ordinary Magic, the science of how we can achieve big changes with small acts, which has already been named a next big idea club must read. Congratulations.
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Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
I'll tell you, my book came out last year. And for me, when it also became mentioned on the Next Big Idea Club, that to me was almost a bigger recognition than any bestseller list could possibly have done for the book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you for sharing that. And I didn't want to leave this discussion without going back to the work that you and your colleague, Jeff Cohen did, because as I was reading this chapter, you went back in grad school and you and he put stories together that you heard in a little package for new sixth graders. Yeah. And what I thought was interesting here is that you told a
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
them that almost all the seventh graders said that they had worried at first that they did not fit in or belong in the sixth grade. But when you went back and asked them at the end of the year, they almost say to a person that they now know that they fit in and belong.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
So I like to start these interviews out by going into your personal journey. So your work deeply explores human connection. Can you share a defining moment in your life that ignited your passion for understanding belonging?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you, Greg, for sharing all that. It's incredible research and it was one of my favorite chapters. And I just wanted to ask you one more thing about the spotlight you did on improving school for the most vulnerable children. And I'm going to read from here. You say, for a decade, our team has worked in Oakland with groups of young people most vulnerable to being miss seen or unseen in school.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Working hand in hand with educators and youth groups, we create a platform for children to introduce or reintroduce themselves to an adult in school who could support them in their learning and growth. What I liked about this is that you write that this approach draws on the trust and belonging work that helped tweens forecast and then build better relationships with teachers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Can you describe this, you call it empathy mixed with discipline and how that works?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Man, that's a huge impact. Greg, we've had a really fascinating conversation today. And one of the things...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
that i love that you did with the book is you followed advice that i got from dan heath who i was asking him advice on how i should write the book i'm working on now we were talking about approach and he said the biggest thing you need to do is you need to keep following the questions i loved how in a lot of the ends of your chapters, you outline all the questions that you answer.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
I guess my final question to you would be, as you were going through this book, what do you think is the most important question of all?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
It was such an honor to have you today, Greg. Congratulations again on the book. And I have to say out of all the people I've had on this podcast, you have been one of the richest bringing in other people's research into your answers. So thank you for doing that. And thank you for joining us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
It certainly is. And your work is so important. And I love how much of it that you're focused on kids and school environments and helping teachers connect better with kids so that they truly feel like they do belong. So thank you for bringing this work into the world. Thank you. And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Dr. Greg Walton.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
His insights into the power of small acts, the science of belief, and the importance of intentional empathy are truly life-changing. Greg reminds us that the journey to mattering doesn't require grand gestures. It begins with the quiet, daily decisions to see others, to believe in them, and to be present. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on a few questions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
How can you show belief in someone without taking their agency away? What small act can you take today to reinforce connection and trust? And who in your life needs to be reminded that they matter? If today's conversation moved you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support the show and help these messages reach more people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And if someone in your life could benefit from Greg's wisdom, share this episode, it might be the moment they need most. For links, highlights, and resources, including Greg's book, Ordinary Magic, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com. And if you want to dive deeper, watch the full episode on my YouTube channel, where you'll find even more inspiring content.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Be sure to hit subscribe while you're there. And if you're interested in bringing these insights to your organization or team, visit JohnRMiles.com speaking to learn more about how we can partner for intentional change. And lastly, please check out our sponsors at PassionStruck.com deals and support them if you love their products, because supporting them helps me bring the show to you at no cost.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Coming up next on PassionStruck, I'm joined by Dr. Christy Smith. We discuss why now, more than ever, is the time to embrace the future of human-powered leadership. It's a conversation about purpose, people, and what it means to lead with humanity in a world that's changing fast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value here, share it. Most importantly, put what you learned into action because knowledge alone doesn't change the world. Action does. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you so much for sharing that. And one of the other interesting things I saw by studying your background is you had the opportunity that a lot of people don't get to have when they're young to travel to remote places. You happen to go to a place in Indonesia. How did experiencing global poverty firsthand, I think you were 13 or 14 at the time, shape your own sense of purpose?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 593.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Thank you so much for sharing that. Some of what you were talking about reminded me of the late Emil Bruneau's work on humanization and dehumanization and how we see the other side. Also reminded me of some of the work that Kirk Gray has done.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Well, one thing I wanted to touch on is I understand that at one point, you guys had a really impactful experience of being falsely arrested at your family's cabin. And I wanted to ask, Can you take us back to that moment and what it taught you about trust, power and vulnerability?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Gregory Walton on Why Big Changes Start With Small Acts | EP 593
Whether you're a longtime listener or joining us for the first time, I am so deeply grateful that you're here. You've tuned into a movement dedicated to unlocking your potential, living with intention, and making what truly matters, matter most. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on an incredible conversation from earlier this week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
What if there was a proven formula, not just for clearer messaging, but for transforming the way you communicate, lead and inspire. Today, we're diving into the art and science of storytelling, how you can position yourself, your brand, or your business as the guide your audience needs most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
So I'm going to have you go through another example, if you don't mind. But before I do, I just wanted to give you a book, if you're not familiar with it, that applies right to your family's mission. It's written by Jamil Zaki, and it's called Hope for Cynics.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
It is actually a very good book. Amazon cited it as one of their top four books of 2024. Holy. And you can go back to an episode on PassionStruck where I interviewed him if you want to take the shortcut or you can buy his book. But he's a great author. Got it. I'll pick it up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
So I wanted to take an epidemic that's really plaguing humanity right now and maybe have you do the same exercise that you just did with your family and the veterans. And that's this epidemic of loneliness. Could you do the same thing for that? Because I think it's one of the most important issues we've got right now.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
We'll explore a timeless framework that has helped over a million leaders create messaging that cuts through the noise and builds trust that lasts. But before we dive in, let's take a moment to highlight an incredible episode from earlier this week with Wes Adams and Tamara Miles, where we explored their new book, Meaningful Work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
It's a powerful conversation about finding fulfillment, aligning work with purpose, and creating impact that lasts. If you missed it, I highly recommend checking it out. It's packed with insights you won't want to miss. And for first-time listeners, don't forget our episode starter packs, curated playlists of the best episodes on leadership, personal growth,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I think that's a great idea. I've recently been talking to Dr. Rick Hansen, who is really big in the compassion circle, and he started something called the Global Compassion Coalition. And as part of it, they are trying to start small groups. Men, women could be mixed where they're trying to start compassion circles. to try to spread the impact of compassion and kindness throughout the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And I think what you were just saying and what they're doing have a lot of overlaps, and it's trying to pick the right people to come into that circle who you feel will uplift not only you, but will bring meaning and connection and stories to make that connection stronger. So I love what you're bringing up. Well, that sounds like a great vision. Compassion community sounds really great. I agree.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I volunteered to start one. So I'm going to take what you just said. Maybe a good way to do it is around the breakfast table.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
So let's go back to the new release of your book for a second. Why do you feel it was time to release an updated version and how does it reflect the changing landscape of communication?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
emotional health, communication, relationships, and more. You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starterpaps. And do you want even more intentional inspiration? Subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for weekly tools, challenges, and insights to help you create a purpose-filled, impactful life. Now, on to today's guest.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I'm thrilled to welcome Donald Miller to the show. Donald is the CEO of StoryBrand and Business Made Simple, a nine-time best-selling author and one of the most influential voices in branding, leadership, and business growth. His StoryBrand framework has been used by world-class organizations from Tom's Shoes to Trek Bicycles to clarify messaging and drive exponential results.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Man, I love it. It's going to be exactly what I do after I get this interview is check that out because I can't tell you how many hours I spent thinking about those things. And I have to tell you a really cool story. You talk about your breakfast meeting. I'm part of a men's group where we get together one Tuesday every month for dinner.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And one of my best friends was on the Notre Dame national championship team from 88. And I watched this last game with him and go the way he wanted it. But interestingly enough, he has now gotten that entire team that he played with to come to where we live in Tampa Bay and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
every year and they come back and they all say it's one of their favorite events of the year and he started with six of them and he brought me in because the navy has a close relationship to notre dame and now he has 40 of his teammates who come in now every single year that gets me choked up the need and the desire for community because those guys are getting a need met that can't be met anywhere else
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
He's the best. He's one of those guys that I think he spends Probably two hours on the phone, just reaching out to teammates and friends, just to, even if it's my typical conversation with them is I talk to them three or four times a week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And most of the time it's under three minutes, but it's typically sharing a laugh or an update, but there are very few people in my life that I have that type of bond with. So I really treasure it. Now, I wanted to ask, given that you're from Nashville, do you know Rory and AJ Vaden? I do. Yeah. In fact, they're pretty much neighbors. They live about a mile from me. I know them both.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And Rory gave me some guidance for this podcast. And people often ask me, how did this thing hockey stick into 60 million downloads it was because i applied a principle that you talked about earlier i got very clear on what my purpose was and i excluded everything that was out of that bullseye and focused on doubling down on helping the audience with
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
In this episode, we discuss the seven elements of great storytelling that clarify your message and inspire action. We go into why positioning yourself as the guide, not the hero, is the key to earning trust. Donald describes how the story brand framework applies far beyond marketing into leadership, communication, and culture.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And then lastly, we go into the innovative AI tools included in building a story brand 2.0 that make expert level marketing accessible to all. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a creative, or a leader looking to elevate your influence, this episode is packed with actionable strategies to help you amplify your message, connect authentically, and lead with clarity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely honored today to bring Donald Miller to the Passion Struck Podcast. Welcome, Donald.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Well, today we are going to be discussing this book, which I have actually been using for about six years, and hopefully I'm using it in the right way. But this book has sold over a million copies, and you just came out with release 2.0 in the beginning of January. Congratulations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I had this pastor, I used to work for Lowe's Home Improvement, and I had this pastor in Mooresville, North Carolina. who loves Stephen Covey, and one of my favorite sermons he ever did was the main thing about the main thing is keeping the main thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
So if you go through that eulogy exercise and you figure out your main things, then he goes to the Eisenhower matrix and he says, well, the two metrics that you have more than anything to make sure you're keeping the main thing are your pocketbook and your calendar.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
So it's a great lesson there. Yeah. And the last thing I wanted to ask you before I ask you just for a wrap up is part of your message is that every great story includes a plan. If you think about this from an individual's journey, what are the elements of a great plan for personal transformation?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And I should be talking as if we're on a podcast and not just showing a picture of it, but the book we're talking about is Building a Story Brand 2.0 for the listeners out there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
i love it donald it was such a amazing time having you on today i've always wanted to have you on the podcast so this is a true honor i just wanted to end because you've given some people different ways to find you what's the next chapter chapter in your story and how do you hope to continue inspiring transformation
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I should... No better by now. So welcome to Passion Struck and your book has sold over a million copies. You've helped hundreds of thousands, if not a million business owners clarify their message and better connect with their audiences. But your work, in my view, it's more than just business. It's about connection, purpose and meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Great. Well, every time I come to Nashville, Marshall Goldsmith invites me to go on a walk with him. So next time I take a walk with Marshall, I would love to join.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I would love to. Maybe we could get Rory to join us too. There you go, John. It was a pleasure to meet you. Such an honor, man. Thank you so much for coming on Passion Struck. Yes. God bless. And that's a wrap on today's discussion. What an inspiring and impactful conversation with Donald Miller.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
From unpacking the transformative power of storytelling to learning how to position yourself as a guide in the story of your customers. Today's episode has been a masterclass. in clarifying your message, building trust and creating meaningful connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Donald's insights into the StoryBrand framework, the importance of focusing on your audience as the hero and the revolutionary tools introduced in building a StoryBrand 2.0 remind us that great communication isn't just about being heard, it's about being understood.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
His emphasis on simplifying your message to cut through the noise is a game changer for anyone looking to amplify their impact, whether in business, leadership, or life. As we wrap up, I encourage you to reflect on your own story and the way you're communicating it. How can you create clarity in your message? How can you step into the role of the guide to help others succeed?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And most importantly, how can you use these tools to build a legacy that matters? If Donald's message resonated with you, I invite you to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your feedback helps fuel our mission to inspire intentional living and growth within the PassionStruck community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And if you know someone who could benefit from this episode, share it with them because sharing wisdom is one of the most powerful ways to make an impact. For links to everything we discussed today, including Donald's updated book, Building a Story Brand 2.0, and access to the Story Brand AI, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
You can also watch this conversation on YouTube and explore exclusive deals from our sponsors at passionstruck.com. Supporting our sponsors allows us to continue bringing you these meaningful conversations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Coming up next on PassionStruck, I'm joined by Dr. Kurt Gray, the incoming Weary Family Foundation Endowed Chair in the Social Psychology of Polarization and Misinformation Department at Ohio State University. Dr. Gray is a leading social psychologist who explores the intersection of morality, politics, and belief systems.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
We explore the science behind moral transformation, the hidden power of empathy, and why understanding how people change is one of the most important skills of the 21st century. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Thank you, as always, for joining me here on Passion Struck. If you found value in today's episode, the fee is simple. Share it with someone who could benefit and take action to live what you listen. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Why is storytelling such a vital tool for creating clarity and alignment in life and work?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Okay, that's great. And I'm going to just show this book, The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell, because I think this is exactly what he was talking about with how storytelling through myths have transformed cultures. It's what, as you were saying, every single religion uses storytelling to try to get their message across.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
all you have to do is look back at the Third Reich to understand how well Hitler and his leadership understood the power story.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 590.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Well, if you know the mechanisms that they're using, you, you definitely do roll your eyes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
I'm going to ask a little bit more about that in a couple of questions, but I wanted to talk a little bit about Dave Ramsey. So Dave has been one of your loudest supporters and has called building a story brand the most effective framework for cutting through the digital noise.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
And when I think of Dave Ramsey's brand, I think what makes him stand out in a pretty crowded market space is how on point he is on his brand, which is really providing people financial peace, if I understand it. With distractions only increasing, why is the power of story more important today than ever before? And maybe you can use Dave Ramsey as an example of that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Donald Miller on the Secret to Making People Care About You
Whether you've been with us for years or are just tuning in for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You've joined a global movement dedicated to unlocking purpose, living with intention, and creating a life that truly matters. Let me ask you a question. Why do some brands forge deep, lasting connections with their audiences while others fade into the background?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
It certainly does. And I'm going to give you a little bit of background on me that you might not know about. For years, I was a senior executive in technology. I was a CIO at Dell, where I oversaw their data strategy. And before that, I was the chief data officer at Lowe's, where I oversaw their enterprise information system strategy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And I remember at Lowe's, as we're looking at the strategy, we were trying to compete based on data. And one of the biggest things we were looking at was consumer data. And we developed this program called the single view of the customer where this was back 2007, 2008, we could match 92%
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
of Americans and knew exactly what their shopping habits were, where they were living, when they were on vacation, when they were on a second home. It was overwhelming how much data we had and what we were trying to do is to learn everything we could about them because In a shopper's lifetime, there are only so many home remodel projects that they're going to do.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And I know you're moving right now. So that was a sign to us that they're likely going to be spending on this new house. And so we would use this to target all kinds of different areas about them. You write about this in the first chapter of your book. You say that there's now an estimated 149 zettabytes of data. And to put that into perspective, it reaches as far as the moon.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Let me ask you, What if the most powerful force shaping our thoughts, decisions, and even our emotions isn't our own free will, but an invisible web of algorithms that know us better than we know ourselves? What if the digital world we've built to connect us is actually driving us apart. Today's guest, Dr. Sandra Matz, is here to explain these urgent issues.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And you write that some suggest that there are as many digital pieces of data as there are stars in the vast universe. But what really got me is when I read that these pieces separated aren't that meaningful. It's just like a puzzle. It's disconnected chaos. But once you put the pieces together, you begin to see the full picture and understand its meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And these digital traces provide a rich picture of our personal habits, preferences, needs, and motivations. In other words, you write, it's psychology.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
so it's been interesting to me as i've began to interview more and more data sciences how many of them now reside in the largest of corporations i remember at lowe's we had three or four but google has an army of them facebook has an army of them how much now in these technology corporations Are they using the science of human behavior to not only analyze us, but in many ways to control us?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
A professor at Columbia University and the author of Mindmasters, the data-driven science of predicting and changing human behavior, Sandra has spent years studying how our digital footprints, everything from the music we listen to, the places we go, and even the words we use are being used to shape our reality.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Something I've heard you talk about in the past is self-determination theory. And I have had Richard Ryan on this podcast, who's one of the inventors of it. But for those who aren't familiar, it consists of three different things, autonomy, mastery, and connectedness. And oftentimes, I think that our autonomy and how we relate to each other go hand in hand, meaning
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I feel if you don't feel like you matter as an individual, it's hard to feel like other people matter or it's hard to feel like you matter to other people or that you can help other people matter. So how do these algorithms impact that sense of autonomy that we have? Something that Angela Duckworth would call self-control.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I've recently been reading Malcolm Gladwell's newest book, Revenge of the Tip and Point. And When I think of this concept of a tipping point, it's this critical juncture, he describes it as getting to kind of 33%, where a series of small actions or behaviors lead to a significant and often irreversible shift.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And when I think about this shift, and especially what these algorithms and digital technologies are doing to us, we have exceeded this tipping point now a ways back. And so this tipping point now has influenced physical targeting, our digital footprints, and again, what I call this disease of disconnect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
In today's episode, we explore how algorithms have become the architects of our choices, shaping what we see, what we buy, and even how we feel. The concept of the digital village, how today's technology mirrors the tight-knit scrutiny of small communities, but on a global scale.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
It provides a lens to examine when and how at the society level, individual level, technology reaches a profound transformation. I wanna take this tipping point in this example of going from your small village to the digital village. I think this tipping point is really shaping how we view each other, how we view our emotions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And what I wanted to understand from you is now that we have gone so far in one direction, What are some of the next steps that we can take to either reclaim control or harness this technology for good?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
the hidden way psychological targeting influences everything from elections to relationships to self-perception how we can reclaim our autonomy and create a healthier more intentional relationship with the technology we use and the role of human connection in an era of digital disconnection and why our sense of mattering is at stake.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Yeah, as you were describing that, it really made me think of the late Emil Bruneau. I'm not sure if you know who Emil was, but he was a professor at Wharton and he was really trying to look at this whole factor of dehumanization and how so much of the conflicts that we're in worldwide are because we fail to see the other side as who they are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
So it got me thinking that a way you could use this is to really see, just take a look at Russians versus Ukrainians. If you could see who the other side was and see them as a whole person, could that change the whole perspective of seeing people as more common instead of enemies? What are your thoughts on that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
If you've ever questioned whether your thoughts and decisions are truly your own or wondered how we can take back control in a world increasingly shaped by artificial intelligence and predictive analytics, this episode is for you. Sandra's research challenges us to rethink the trade-offs of the digital age and discover ways to reclaim our own sense of agency.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I want to explore that a little bit more. So what you just were referring to is that psychological targeting and data collection raise profound moral questions. Through one lens, they can empower individuals and improve lives. Through another, they can manipulate and exploit vulnerabilities, especially at a macro level.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on my powerful conversation that I had on Tuesday with Edward Fishman, a former top U.S. State Department sanctions official. He joined me to discuss how financial leverage, supply chains, and economic choke points have replaced traditional warfare. His book, Choke Points...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
How do you think we decide as a society where to draw the ethical line and who should hold the moral responsibility for these decisions? Should it be corporations, governments, individuals? Where does this responsibility lie?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
American Power in the Age of Economic Warfare is a must-read for understanding the future of global power. And in last week's solo episode, I explored the foundational role of mattering in our relationships, why we accept less than the love we deserve, how modern dating feels like a competition, and what it takes to build lasting, meaningful connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Part two drops tomorrow, where I'll dive even deeper into how to recognize the right relationships, make love last, and navigate heartbreak with intention. Want to dive deeper? Check out our episode starter packs, curated playlists on topics like leadership, mental health, and personal growth at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or Spotify.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
It sounds like what you're saying, and thank you for explaining all that, is as individuals, we don't have the power to change much. But if we start showing up as a collective with more might, then we have more influence. And this leads me into something further on in your book where you're talking about solutions and you talk about the shift to privacy by design.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
could also be a significant solution. To me, this whole privacy by design would fit with this model of the collective because it would give you that leverage that you're going to need to the companies to fulfill the promises once they've acquired your data. Is that a good way to think about it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
So Sandra, I've been recently rewatching that short documentary that Netflix did on Chernobyl. And as I was reading your book, I came across this reference that you made to a Tooth Guardian article where journalist Cory Doctorow offered a different analogy. And he compared personal data to nuclear waste, which got me thinking about Chernobyl.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter for exclusive weekly insights, tools, challenges, and strategies to live with greater intention. Prefer a video? Join our growing community on the John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you can watch this episode and share it with someone who could benefit from Sanders Insights.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
We should treat personal electronic data the same way that we treat radiation or plutonium because it's dangerous. I like how you frame this. It's long lasting and once it's leaked, you never get it back. Just like radioactive data, our personal data can be deadly is what you write literally. Why is it so important for people to think about it in that concrete of terms?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Now, get ready for a conversation that will change the way you see technology, autonomy, and the digital forces shaping our lives. Let's dive in with Dr. Sandra Matz. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Dr. Sandra Matz to PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
So Sandra, thank you for going into that. The last thing I want to talk to you about is the work of Esther Dyson. Do you happen to know who Esther is?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
No. So Esther happens to live in New York, but she is very well known in the startup world, right? Because she is one of the first investors in Square, Facebook, the list, 23andMe, the list goes on and on. And I was just talking to her and she is very much very concerned about what this data, the poor use of the data and its implications could have on society.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And what she is really working on right now and loves to talk about is systems change. It's the systems, not just individual actions that shape outcomes, whether it's in health, which she's trying to do a lot of work in. You would actually love her work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
She's trying to go into small communities and reimagine how we could do healthcare different, starting with a small village and then trying to expand it out. And so it's like the idea of redesigning healthcare. the village or in the way you think about it, redesigning the digital village.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
So if you think about, and we've been talking about this, the systematic changes that are necessary to create a healthier system, really that balances personal agency and the algorithm influence, what would some of those initial systematic changes need to be around this lens of how a person feels they matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Welcome, Sandra.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Today, we are going to be exploring your brand new book, Mindmasters, the data-driven science of predicting and changing human behaviors. Congratulations on the book and it being featured as a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. Fantastic recognition.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Yep, as you write, Netflix benefits and all other users benefit because your personal data never leaves its safe harbor. You don't need to trust a third party to securely store your data and use it for only the purposes it was intended. I think that's a great way to end today's discussion. Sandra, congratulations again on your book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And if a person wants to know about you and your research, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Well, Sandra, thank you so much again for joining us here today. It was such an honor to have you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And that's a wrap on an enlightening conversation with Dr. Sandra Matz. Her insights challenge us to rethink the balance between connection and autonomy in the digital world, how algorithms shape our thoughts and behaviors, and what it truly means to reclaim our sense of self in an era of constant data tracking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
As we close out today's episode, take a moment to reflect how much of your daily decision-making is truly your own and how much is being influenced by unseen forces. Are the digital tools really helping us foster deeper connection or are they pulling us further apart? What intentional steps can you take to reclaim your autonomy and cultivate more meaningful interactions in your life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
The conversations we have on PassionStruck are meant to challenge perspectives and help you live with greater intention, whether it's in your personal growth, relationships, or the way you navigate the ever-evolving digital landscape. Share this episode with them. It might just change the way they see their world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
All resources discussed today, including Sandra's book, Mindmasters, are linked in the show notes at passionstruck.com. If you'd like to watch the full video version, head over to the John R. Miles YouTube channel, and don't forget to subscribe and share with others who are passionate about learning and personal growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I love bringing these insights into organizations and teams through my speaking engagements. If today's episode sparked new thoughts on leadership, behavioral science, and digital resilience, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more about how we can work together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Coming up next on PassionStruck, we continue our journey into the psychology of self-discovery and personal growth with a conversation that explores self-worth, purpose, and what it truly means to live in alignment with who you are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
In our next episode, I sit down with Natalie Namaste, a thought leader in personal transformation to explore how to break free from perfectionism and self-doubt, the key to embracing authenticity and rewriting limiting beliefs, and practical tools to cultivate inner confidence and a life filled with meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I felt the same way. I wrote a book last year, it came out in February. And when I got that recognition, it was for me a higher level of acknowledgement than any bestseller list could have possibly been.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
This is a conversation that will inspire you to let go of what's holding you back and step boldly into the life you were meant to live. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
poking at them and who they are and what they believe and you can physically feel it thank you for being part of the passion star community your dedication to intentional living and making an impact inspires me every day and remember the fee for the show is simple if you found value in today's episode share it with someone who needs to hear it most importantly apply what you've learned so that you can live what you listen until next time live life passion strike
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I'm going to start back in your childhood because this is where you start off your book. You grew up in a small German village. And in this village, as I understand it, there were only two restaurants. There weren't any shops. What was it like growing up in that village? And I was hoping you might be able to introduce this by using the story of The Missing Rabbit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And I think you found that to be even more the case as you grew into a teenager and experienced this in compounding effects when you were involved in a motorcycle accident when you were 15.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 578.
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Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
So I didn't grow up in a small village like you, but I grew up in a small-knit community around the Catholic Church, and my upbringing from the time I was in kindergarten through high school, I always went to parochial schools. And so I felt like I was in this small village where everyone knew my hopes, my fears, my weaknesses, my dreams. And it gave you a sense of being seen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
But in that small village, that was a blessing and a curse. because it shapes how you view yourself and your sense of mattering. How for you to growing up in a village shape your understanding of mattering?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I think the important thing here is this whole contrast that we've gone from people living in these small villages where we had these communities that people existed in for really centuries and now we've gone to a global village where algorithms know even more about us than our neighbors ever could and i love what you write in the book
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
You're right, but it turns out you don't have to live in a small rural community to have someone watch and influence every step you take and choice you make, which you were just describing. That's because we have digital neighbors.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
In the same way my neighbors became expert snoopers and puppeteers over time, computers can translate seemingly mundane, innocuous information about what we do into highly intimate insights about who we are and ultimately prescriptions of what we should do.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
And as I read that, it really got me into thinking how complex this becomes when these things that we don't even realize are around us are influencing our mind on what we should do, who we should be, what we should become. How does that really impact our ability to connect and feel that we have autonomy over our choices?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Sandra Matz on The Silent War Hijacking Your Free Will | EP 578
I want to take a moment to thank you for being part of this incredible community. Your energy, passion, and commitment to living more intentionally inspires me every day. Whether you're a longtime listener or joining us for the first time, welcome. You've joined a global movement dedicated to igniting purpose and living boldly with intention, and I couldn't be happier to have you here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And I mean, I have a couple of good examples of this. Sometimes. I am not the best, especially after I've worked all day of keeping my attention span intact. And I know my fiance is constantly all over me because I will tune out. And when you do that, you're really showing the person that perhaps they don't matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Have you ever paused to consider the profound impact conversations have on our lives? Every word we share, whether in a casual exchange, a high stakes negotiation or an intimate heart to heart has the power to transform relationships, forge authentic connections and illuminate our deeper purpose. Communication isn't just an exchange of words.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And so for me, it's something that I really try to keep that focus there to make sure that the valuable time we have, she does realize how much she matters to me. And I think another great example of this I'll just use one from my my past. I used to be a senior executive in fortune 50 companies. And I had this role at Lowe's where I had just gotten to Lowe's.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I inherited a group of people who had the lowest engagement scores in the entire company. And what I found was that. above all, they didn't feel like they mattered. They didn't matter to the mission. They didn't feel like they mattered to the customers. They didn't feel like anyone cared about them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And so one of the major things I did was I tried to have, I tried to treat the conversations I had with my employees as opportunities to affirm their value. How can someone who's listening to this use communication in their everyday life to intentionally show others that they matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
It's the foundation of understanding, the bridge to belonging, and the key to unlocking meaning in our lives. Today, we're going to dive into the art and science of communication, uncovering how intentional dialogue can deepen connections and enrich every facet of our existence. If you're new here, welcome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And I just want to mention to the audience, I've done two recent solo episodes on things that Alison brought up. Episode 531, I did a whole discussion on neurodiversity and my focus for it was the topic of overcoming a lost mind. And I focused specifically in this one on bipolar. And I used the story of Andy Dunn in this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And then more recently, I did another episode 543 on how to bridge the gap between knowing and doing. So both of them touch on behavior science and they're both further episodes you can tune into. So I want to go to your course because you can't do an interview with you without bringing up its name. How to Talk Better in Business and Life. It's both catchy and it's profound.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And it's a class I wish I would have had at the Naval Academy because I think it would have helped us as officers. How did you come up with the idea for that name? And what surprises you the most when you're teaching this course?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
You've described conversation as more than just an exchange of words. It's a tool for, as I would say, creating, mattering and building trust. And I remember interviewing Angela Duckworth and I was talking to her about the lens I talk a lot about it, which is intentionality. And for her, that really equates to the study of self-control in the work that she does.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
How does, whether you call it intentionality or self-control, play a role in helping us transform everyday conversations into something that's more meaningful?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
You have just joined a global community dedicated to living with purpose, unlocking potential, and making a lasting impact. I am so glad to have you with us. Before we dive into today's episode, let's take a moment to reflect on my incredible conversation I had earlier this week with Dan Heath, a number one New York Times bestselling author, about his latest book, Reset,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
how to change what's not working. In this conversation, we did a deep dive on inertia and whether at work, in personal habits, or in our relationships, how we can identify leverage points and make intentional, meaningful changes. Dan's practical tools for unlocking progress were a game changer, and I encourage you to check out that episode if you haven't already.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Yeah, I remember especially as I was in meetings and trying to sway people's minds or if I'm on sales calls, especially if I'm meeting someone for the first time or first couple of times.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I used to do all kinds of research and I would keep interesting facts about them that I could use to prepare for the meeting that if something came up, I could give a tidbit to let them know that I did my homework, which would cause them to warm up, feel like I was making them matter. And it 99% of the time produced a much better outcome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Another thing I just was thinking of is I've been doing a lot of conversations recently on spirituality and intuition. How does our intuition play a role in how we should approach a conversation?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And if you want to take the insights even deeper, don't forget to check out our episode starter packs with over 560 episodes online.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
we know it can be overwhelming so we've curated playlists on themes like leadership personal growth emotional well-being and mental health you can find them on spotify or by visiting passionstruck.com starter packs for weekly inspiration and actionable tips be sure to sign up for my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com it's packed with exclusive content challenges and tools
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Thank you for sharing that, Alison. And I wanted to get into the heart of your book. The title of your book, Talk, is not only a title, it's a framework and a game changer for conversations. So I want to have you break down topics asking levity and kindness, because to me, it feels like a guide to creating conversations that matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Could you go over each component and how it helps someone foster self-mattering and making others feel seen?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
to help you put the lessons from our episodes into practice. And if you prefer watching these conversations, all our episodes are available on our YouTube channel, where you can catch the videos and share them with others in your life who are passionate about growth. Head over to our YouTube channel at John R. Miles. Today, I am thrilled to welcome Dr. Alison Wood Brooks to the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, before you go to levity, can I ask you a superhero follow-up question?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
So in the book, you were talking in this chapter, you've got a subsection, what's with all the questions. And you mentioned that some of the kids, especially where you teach are from other countries. And so when they're dealing in our culture, they don't know what is too many questions, et cetera. And you go into this whole thing about speed dating, which caught my eye.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
But the fundamental question you're trying to answer here, is there a tipping point when many questions become too many? Can you maybe explain this speed dating example as a way to answer that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Alison is a behavioral scientist and award-winning professor at Harvard Business School and the author of the highly anticipated book, which came out earlier this week, The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves. She's a leading expert on the psychology of conversation and has spent her career researching how we communicate and why it matters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Thanks for going there. And now I'll let you go to levity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
They are. And I was listening to another episode that you did on another podcast and I would have frozen in my shoes because the first question they asked you was to tell a dad joke.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Yeah, that seems like one that the host should have reached out to you beforehand to let you know, because even if I had one, when you're put on the spot like that, it's so hard to just produce it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
You talked about your kids and you said you'd been reading a lot of books around Halloween. And so you turned it into a Halloween themed joke.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
In this episode, we explore her talk framework, topics, asking, levity, and kindness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Follow-up question to that is one of the things that caught my eye in this chapter, one of the things that you write about is callbacks. And you say in your class, you ask students to identify their favorite person in the world to talk to. And then you ask them to initiate a new conversation with them and record it. Why were callbacks such an interesting aspect of what you found out from that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
which isn't just a guide to better conversations but a roadmap for building trust deepening relationships and creating a greater sense of matter in yourself and others we'll unpack why authentic connection feels so rare in today's world and how intentional communication can remind us and those who we interact with that we are valued whether you're looking to improve personal relationships navigate workplace dynamics or handle conflict with grace
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I do improv too. And I've done freestyle and I've done long form and short form and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And another way to do that is through active listening, which is one of the most powerful ways to show kindness. Yes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Today's conversation is packed with actionable insights. In today's discussion, you will discover how conversations are more than just words. They're opportunities to make others feel seen, valued, and heard. She and I will discuss practical strategies to approach even the most difficult conversations with curiosity and kindness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Okay, and one other area I wanted to hit on in our time left is I recently did an episode on dehumanization, and I featured Emil Bruneau, who you might have known, and the work that Jamil Zaki is also doing. In your book, this title of this section caught my attention, The Contagion of Disrespect. And it really goes into how language can either humanize us or dehumanize us. and tear us apart.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Why is this such an important thing for us to think about?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
We go into how to actively listen in a way that fosters trust and understanding. and we discuss why intentional communication is key to creating relationships that matter. By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with tools to improve your communication and build connections that reinforce self-worth and deepen relationships.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, I love that we're ending there. And Alison, your work really highlights that every conversation is an opportunity to matter and to help others feel like they matter. And I really hope listeners today can carry this mindset into their daily lives. And we just touched on the surface of your book. So I'd encourage them to buy a copy of it. It's going to be one of those
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
that you're constantly going to refer back to. And if I were a bit younger, I'd try to go and either audit or take your class because it sounds so interesting.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And Allison, last question is, where's the best place people should go to learn more about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, thank you so much for joining me today. It was such an honor to have you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
What an insightful and transformative conversation that was with Dr. Alison Woodbrooks. From unpacking the hidden architecture of conversations to exploring the profound role communication plays in self-mattering and making others feel valued, today's discussion has been nothing short of a masterclass in intentionality and connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Alison's talk framework is a powerful reminder that our words have the ability to build trust, deepen relationships, and create a sense of mattering for ourselves and those around us. By applying her principles, we can transform even the simplest conversations into opportunities for meaningful impact and greater alignment in our lives.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
As we close, I encourage you to reflect on the conversations in your life. How can you use Dr. Brooks' insights to approach them with greater intentionality, deepen your connections, and remind others they truly matter? Whether it's by asking more thoughtful questions, bringing a little levity, or simply listening with kindness, the steps we take today can shape the relationships we cherish most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
If Allison's message resonated with you, please take a moment to leave us a five-star rating and review. Your feedback fuels our mission to bring impactful conversations to the PassionStruck community. And if you know someone who could benefit from Allison's wisdom, share this episode with them. A single conversation can be the start of profound change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
For links to everything we discussed today, including Allison's book, Talk, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com. The video version of this conversation is available on YouTube. And don't forget to check out our sponsors and deals at passionstruck.com slash deals. Supporting our sponsors helps us keep bringing these meaningful conversations to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to bring you Dr. Alison Wood Brooks. Welcome, Alison.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Before we wrap up, I want to remind you that I'm passionate about sharing these insights with organizations and teams through speaking engagements. If today's episode inspired you and you think my message could bring value to your company, visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Next week, I am thrilled to bring you a captivating conversation with my friend, Dr. Dave Vago, a renowned neuroscientist and mindfulness expert. In our discussion, Dave dives into the fascinating intersection of neuroscience and mindfulness. exploring how our brain's intricate pathways shape our sense of belonging and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
It's a powerful discussion packed with insights to help you cultivate inner peace and live more intentionally. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit. And as always, apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I've been looking so forward to this conversation. I got your book about six weeks ago, and it's just such an important topic that we're going to be getting in today. And the book, just so I can make it be the first thing we talk about, is titled Talk, The Science and Art of Conversation. Congratulations on its release.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I love to start these episodes out by giving the audience some background and you have had an incredible journey from Princeton to Wharton to now Harvard. What sparked your passion for behavior science and ultimately the study of conversations?
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I'm going to get to your course a little bit later, but I wanted to ask about one of the people you mentioned from Wharton and that's Maurice Schweitzer, because as I was doing research on you, you happened to mention in another interview that collaborating with Maurice inspired you to pursue this path and part of the way that you teach.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
What was it about his approach that resonated with you and shaped your own teaching and research?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, I love that. And that whole something that's real, I think is very tangible. My son is right now going, he has a undergraduate in business and he's been pursuing another undergraduate in music production. And what I like. What I, and I know you're in a band, so he plays percussion and he does all the production for the band and also plays piano, but he can play both.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Our kids started playing piano so they can play multiple instruments.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, he keeps the beat. It's interesting. Josh went to a well-known middle school in Austin, Texas, and they had so many kids trying out for the band. I mean, this middle school band had 200 kids in it that the only way they would allow someone to try out to be in percussion was if you had a background in piano. And he had never played before, started playing percussion, I think in...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
maybe halfway through sixth grade, early seventh grade. And by the time he graduated middle school, he was the fifth chair in Texas. So just had an inherent talent for it.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
But where I was going with this is what I love about where he's going to school is all his exercises, he says, are extremely difficult, but they're making him do everything as if in the exercise, the people he's dealing with are actual clients.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And they're treating it as if it's client interactions in the real world, which he really values because he thinks it's going to really help him longer down the road to be better at his craft.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 563.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
I absolutely love it. So, Thanks. Speaking of your classroom, you describe conversations as a coordination game that involves relentless micro decisions. And when I think of micro decisions, it's something that I talk about here on the podcast. I refer to them as micro choices.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
How does this perspective on micro decisions or micro choices help us better understand their role in fostering self-worth and meaningful conversations?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
Well, it's a topic that is really important to me because when I was a young kid, I had a traumatic brain injury and it caused me to have speech impediments. I'd had some cognitive issues as well. And so I didn't want to use my voice because I was so worried about mispronouncing things, talking before I could think about things or miscommunicating.
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Alison Wood Brooks on How to Make Every Conversation Matter | EP 563
And it's really been a deliberate focus of mine for decades. to be able to communicate the way I do, but I still struggle. And I'm sure others who are listening do too. And this leads me to this question. We all have moments when we question whether we matter to others. How can being intentional about the way we communicate influence our sense of self-mattering?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I am so glad you shared this and I think it's something I want to explore a little bit more because I think there are a lot of people out there who really feel stuck. I call it on the show, quiet desperation, where they get in a situation where they're making the money, they have the quality of life they think, but they tend to be chasing the wrong things and their life is out of balance.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
That is exactly what happened to me. And how does someone who's in this position take the steps to get their way out of it? Because it's much easier to talk about it than it is to actually do it.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
What if the only thing standing between you and your biggest dreams isn't a lack of talent or opportunity, but a lack of audacity? What if the bold risks we shy away from are actually the ones that could transform our lives? And how do we dismantle doubt and step into the courage required to chase what truly matters?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
It absolutely is the truth. And I think one of the things that I found when reading your book on this chapter that we're talking about is, is you're right. There isn't one reason to make a change. Everyone has a different rationale. But be careful about external motivation centered on others. Sometimes we may want to prove something wrong or make them feel proud of us.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Other times we seek approval from those we esteem and aim to please them. We may do something audacious or take a risk because we want to put it on social media to impress people. Where I'm going with here is a lot of times we take these risks for external reasons.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
But what I have found is that if you're going to take a risk, the ones that I have done in the past that are focused on external seem to have a high failure rate. The ones that I have done that are based on intrinsic motivation tend to have a high success rate. Do you find a correlation in that?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
That's exactly what we're diving into today with my guest, the extraordinary Anne-Marie Anderson. a three-time Emmy Award-winning broadcaster for ESPN, keynote speaker, and now the author of her powerful new book, Cultivating Audacity, How to Dismantle Doubt and Take Bold Risks. Anne-Marie's story is a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and the empower of intentional risk-taking.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I like this section of the book where you were talking to, it was before you even launched your career and there was an advisor who was talking to about a hundred of you and said that maybe one of you out of the hundred has a chance to be in broadcasting. And to be successful.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And I would think when you started, that would have been even more daunting as a female at that time in a very male dominated one broadcasting, but two sports broadcasting world. So I think oftentimes we hear something like that. It could be a teacher, could be a mentor we have. It could be a coach who gives us the barriers to be successful and we end up giving up all hope and don't pursue it.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
For you, what led you to hear that and have the audacity to pursue it no matter what?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
because i think that's what really differentiates the people who go for it and i'll just make the correlation here like when i started this podcast people were telling me why are you even starting a podcast they're like three million of them this thing is never going to be a success and if i had listened to them i wouldn't be here talking to you it's the same thing as you started your career exactly and can i ask you a quick question before i answer
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I started it because I was called to serve people and I felt that the best way to do it and to get my message out was I needed a vehicle to do it. I didn't care about making money. That was never the goal. I didn't care about how many downloads I got. That wasn't the goal. I just felt if I could influence one person, it could have a ripple effect.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
So I want to jump to the area of preparation. And I remember doing an interview with Susan Cain and I was talking to her about her Ted talk that went viral. I think she has 40, 50 million views on it. And It was such a well-done, well-rehearsed TED Talk. And she said, well, what people don't see is the 200 times I did it and failed.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
From her days as a standout collegiate volleyball player to her groundbreaking career covering six Olympic Games, heavyweight title fights, and the Super Bowl, she continually pushed the boundaries of what's possible. In today's conversation, we explore how Anne-Marie made audacity her superpower, navigating setbacks with grit and grace.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Because I practiced it so many times before I got up there in front of that stage and tried all different types of ways to approach it before I got confident in how I wanted to deliver it.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
one of my other favorite interviews on the show was with sally jenkins who i'm sure you probably know and i was interviewing sally about her book the right call but she was talking to me about her time observing the most elite of elite athletes and she was telling me that what she saw differentiate them
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
from even A-level athletes was this extraordinary mental and physical preparation that they do that just goes above and beyond. And using that as a backdrop, how do you see this relationship between preparation, our mindset, and then our willingness to take audacious leaps?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I completely agree with you. And as people have come on the podcast, I get a lot of people who say your interviews are different from everyone else's. And I say, well, that's on purpose because I try to do so much research that I don't want to have the same interview someone else has with a guest because then what's the point if they've already done it?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
My favorite thing is when I have a guest and I ask a question, I go, no one has ever asked that to me before. Yes, exactly. Exactly. But it's not like Barbara Walters became Barbara Walters because she just came up with the questions on the fly before she had a guest. I have to imagine that she dedicated herself to the art of preparation to become the person that she was.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
We explore the lessons she's learned from legendary coaches and athletes about achieving greatness. And then we go into her strategies for dismantling self-doubt, recalibrating rejection, and taking risks that matter. Anne-Marie's insights go beyond her incredible career. They challenge us to rethink our mindset, action, and sense of belonging.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And I think the same thing goes with anyone in their field.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And Maria, I want to jump to a different area of showing audacity, and that is showing audacity to our kids. And as I was reading your book, something really struck me. My grandmother used to always tell us when we were kids how she always wanted to go to medical school and never found her way to do it. And I can't tell you how many times I heard her tell us this regret.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And in the book, you talk about your mom, who's 93 years old, and she told you one time, Ann Marie, I envy you. because I always wanted to work outside the house, but never figured out how to do it. And I mean, it's an emotional statement, both of them, because it's like a big part of who they are got trapped and never got to express itself, which is very sad.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
But I think there's a big lesson here that we can learn from this on how by the fact that we're willing to take risks shows our children that it's okay to be brave as well. And I was hoping you might be able to talk about that.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Whether you're at a crossroads in your personal journey, striving to lead with intention, or simply looking for the courage to take your next big leap, this conversation will leave you inspired and empowered. And for those of you who want to go deeper, check out our episode starter packs at either Spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I think it's so important. And I remember one of these things also comes to, I think, helping our kids see their failures. And you were in this interview talking about your 12 year old who at the time was having some confidence issues and some body image issues, which I think whether you're a male or a female, we all go through it.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I grew up as a heavyset kid and I can't tell you how much that affected how I viewed the world and looked at myself. And I loved how you helped your 12 year old through this. And I was hoping you might be able to share the story.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
With over 500 episodes, we've curated playlists on themes like leadership, mental health, and personal growth. to help you find the inspiration that resonates most with you. And don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive weekly insights, tools, and actionable strategies to live with greater intention.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
So I wanna take you to a famous athlete. And I think we all have moments in our life, some larger than others, where we have to redefine how we're approaching life. And the story I wanna talk about is Tiger Woods. Here you have a world-class athlete who's on the top of his game, probably at the time, the most famous athlete in the entire world, eyes all upon you.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And then suddenly it breaks out about the rift between him and his wife at the time. And I remember talking to Sean Foley, his coach, about it. And Sean was telling me, here you got a guy who's an athlete, but he knows everywhere he goes, everyone he meets, he knows exactly what they're saying. He knows what they're saying behind his back.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And all of that starts eroding your confidence, getting under your skin, et cetera. Now, I think any of us can face moments like that. How have you observed those who are elite be able to get over moments like that happen?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And if you prefer video, join the growing community on the John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you can watch this episode and more. While you're there, subscribe and share it with someone who could benefit from Anne Marie's wisdom.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
It reminds me, and I'm glad you brought that up because that's where I was hoping you would take it, is I have this philosophy I talk about in my book called the mosquito audit. And what I'm really encouraging people to do is we have these invisible influences all around us. Some of them are the closest people we have in our lives.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
But you've got the invisible suffocators, the pain in the asses, the bloodsuckers, different types of mosquitoes. who might be in your front row and who might be completely negatively influencing everything that you're trying to achieve. So doing what I say is a mosquito audit on a regular basis, I think is extremely important. How would you respond to that?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Now, let's dive into this incredible conversation about fearless living, bold risk-taking, and the courage to pursue what truly matters through remarkable Anne-Marie Anderson. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And to me, the front row is also that group that helps you feel like you matter. There are those people who are bolstering your sense of belonging. And where I wanted to take this is you do a lot of keynotes into companies where they're dealing with pervasive disengagement. How does this front row equate to a company setting and maybe why so many employees feel disengaged right now?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I am absolutely thrilled today to welcome Anne-Marie Anderson to PassionStruck. Welcome, Anne-Marie.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And I think that's extremely important. And I don't think a lot of leaders know how to do it. So what would be, if you're a leader, and maybe the best example I can give is I remember I went to Lowe's and I got hired into this position where I was trying to overhaul IT operations and our security function after the company had gone through the worst crisis.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
security hack and retail history at the time. And if that wasn't daunting enough, I get called into the head of HR's office my first week. And she tells me that my group has the lowest employee engagement scores in the entire company, 350,000 employees. But what I quickly came to realize is that
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
the employees, when they were thinking of their front row, their boss was the chief seat in that front row. And the boss that they had before didn't believe in them, didn't give them autonomy, didn't really entrust them that they wanted their input on anything. And I just found in that situation, the more that
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I put myself in their shoes and looked at their capabilities from where they sat and allowed them to have a voice into how the organization should look going forward. It completely changed their willingness to want to invest in me and me reciprocal have the confidence to invest more in them. But I think a lot of people don't know how to do it.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
As I talked about in the introduction, your career is filled with many extraordinary accomplishments, from winning Emmy Awards to covering the Olympics and other major sporting events. What are some pivotal moments that shaped your approach to boldness and dismantling doubt, things we're going to cover in depth today?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
On Emory, one of the last areas I wanted to go into with you is I often talk about the importance of the power of choices in our life, because I think we tend to gravitate towards the bigger choices we make instead of realizing that it's really the micro choices that make up the hours, the moments of our days that influence us the most.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And you emphasize in the book that life doesn't happen to you, but for you when you live audaciously, how can shifting to this perspective, empower people to make more intentional choices?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Thank you for sharing that. And I wanted to end on one of the sections from the part three of your book, which is the idea of what is your parachute? Because you explain in here that taking a bold risk is undoubtedly a leap of faith before anyone takes a scary jump out of a plane. They have to have a parachute of plans to mitigate the risks.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
How does this idea or metaphor of the parachute play into us living audaciously?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Okay, and then the last thing I wanted to ask you about was hope. Interestingly enough, the most popular article I've ever written was why the world needs hope. And in the book you write, hope is not a plan and you're not a big fan of hope. And you say, I've always been annoyed by the question, what is plan B?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Like plan A is to write the book, but if that doesn't work out, then plan B is to do what? Hope is not a plan. If you want to plan, if you want to hope for plan A, but have a plan B in your back pocket, then you might as well skip plan A together. I think so many people put these safety nets in place, and I know I did for a long time,
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And the more I thought I had something I could fall back on, the more it was keeping me from pursuing what I truly wanted to do. And I think that's what you're saying here.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Anne-Marie, it was so wonderful to have you here. Congratulations on your book, Cultivating Audacity. Highly encourage the listeners to go out and pick up a copy. Where can people learn more about you?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Anne-Marie, thank you so much for joining us and for getting up at way early in the morning to do this. I really appreciate it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Anne-Marie Anderson. Her insights on cultivating audacity, dismantling doubt, and taking bold risks remind us that courage isn't just about fearlessness. It's about stepping forward even when uncertainty looms.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
From the lessons she's learned from covering legendary athletes to the strategies she shares for overcoming rejection and embracing challenges, Anne-Marie has given us a powerful roadmap for living with intention and confidence. As we wrap up today's episode, I invite you to reflect on a few key takeaways. Where in your life are you playing it safe when you could be taking a bold step forward?
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
How can you reframe rejection as a stepping stone rather than a setback? And what's one action you can take today to cultivate audacity in your own journey? If today's discussion resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support the show and help us bring impactful conversations like this one to even more people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And if someone in your life could benefit from Anne-Marie's wisdom, share this episode with them because a single conversation can change everything. For all the resources we discussed, including her book, Cultivating Audacity, visit the show notes at passionstark.com.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And if you want to go deeper, be sure to watch the video version of this episode on our YouTube channels where you'll find more enriching conversations like this one. While you're there, hit subscribe and join our growing community. Coming up next, I'm joined by Olympic gold medalist and figure skating champion Vincent Zhou.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Vincent made history as the first person to land a quadruple lutz in the Olympic competition, but his story goes far beyond the ice. We'll be diving into his journey of resilience, the challenges of elite competition, and how he's using his platform to advocate for mental health, leadership, and clean sport. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion strapped.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Well, I know for me that being a division one athlete really was critical in developing so many aspects of who I am and my mindset around the importance of taking action, how it developed my relationship with teammates and the power that they bring to supporting you and encouraging you. I know you had a really illustrious career at Hofstra.
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Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
How did that influence your competitive experience and resilient resilience that you now have in life and in your career?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam, welcome to Episode 587.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Yeah, it really does make a huge difference. And I'm so honored that I had that background and Having gone to a service academy, I sometimes wonder how much it would have been different if I went to a normal university where you didn't have, where I'm sure the sports focus would have been even more pronounced.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I think our coaches knew we had these other elements to our existence, so they couldn't own all our time. But I think at other universities, you're really owned by the sport that you're part of.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I went to the Naval Academy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Thank you. Today we are going to be discussing your brand new book. Congratulations on that, Cultivating Audacity. And I think it's important to start out with maybe a definition of what audacity is.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I have a friend of mine, Scott Simon, who wrote the book, Scare Your Soul. And he's trying to start a courage movement. But I think it's the same thing. You've got to start taking boundary expanding actions if you want to grow from it. And I think that's, as I read the book, a lot of your philosophy as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Emery, you have had a lot of defining experiences and success stories in your life. Is there a time when you took a bold risk that didn't pay off? And if so, what did you learn from it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You have joined a global movement dedicated to unlocking your full potential, living with intention, and making what truly matters matter most. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on Tuesday's episode with Nir Eyal.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I remember hearing you talk about that appearance on another podcast that I was listening to prepare for this. And you were in that discussion talking about a conversation you were having with your husband before you did the event and you were going through your head, all the things that could happen. Your career could come, it could be the end of your
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
being a producer, it could be the end of you being a broadcaster, it could be the end of this and that. And I think that's something that we all tend to do. I know for me, it's always been intimidating to do public speaking. And I had one speech that I gave that didn't fall the way I wanted it to for a sales organization. And when I think about all the successes I had,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
They are not the first thing that comes to my mind. It's always that failure moment. But I think because of it, it's made me prepare even more now about what does the audience want? What do I need to deliver? How do I show up in the best way? Do you think it's the same thing for you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
I wanted to ask you one more question on your background before we go further into the book. Emory, what's the most audacious decision you've made in your career? And how did you navigate the uncertainty that came with it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Anne Marie Anderson on How to Build Your Front Row | EP 587
We explored how to master focus, break free from distractions, and design a life that aligns with your deepest goals. If you missed it, I highly recommend going back to listen. It's packed with actionable insights to help you reclaim your time and attention. Now, let me ask you this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Coming up next on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
So let me ask you, what if the key to unlocking peak performance and long-term wellbeing isn't just about diet and exercise, but also about harnessing the power of oxygen, neurotransmitters, and cutting edge health optimization tools? What if the future of brain health and longevity is already here, but most of us aren't using it to our advantage? This is where today's guest comes in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
So interesting. And today I heard you bring up GABA and that's going to be our main focus today. What is the connection that you see between methylene blue nootropics and GABA?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Okay, well, I think that is a great introduction to it. If someone's listening to this, and GABA is like a foreign language to them, what might be some of the top symptoms they could be experiencing that indicate a GABA deficiency?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I am welcoming back my friend, Dr. Scott Schur, who's here to break down the science behind some of the most innovative advancements in health optimization. In our first interview in episode 147, we did a deep dive into hyperbaric oxygen therapy and how it's being used to treat neurodegenerative disease, cancer, and traumatic brain injuries. We also touched on its link to stem cells.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Yeah. I guess a follow-on to that is since it has such an effect on all of those things, what is its correlation to potential suicides?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Then in episode 321, we explored nootropics. and focused on the unique benefits of methylene blue and its potential to support various health conditions, including brain fog, fatigue, joint pain, and even blood pressure regulation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And I was also, as I was preparing for this, I saw that GABA activity also plays an important role in several diseases, including neurodegenerative disorders in which the body's nerve cells break down, including Huntington's disease, epilepsy, and also potentially Parkinson's disease. Can you speak to any of those?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
In this episode, we build upon those discussions and we explore advancements in hyperbaric oxygen therapy and how it's revolutionizing healing, performance, and recovery. We expand on the rising role of methylene blue in enhancing mitochondrial function and brain health, as well as the evolving landscape of nootropics and how they can be used to optimize mental clarity and focus.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
We've done a great introduction to the science of GABA. Can you break down a little bit deeper the structure and function of the GABA receptors, particularly GABA A and GABA B and how they contribute to brain activity?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
We go into GABA, the brain's common neurotransmitter, and why it is key to reducing stress, improving sleep and boosting cognitive resilience. Then lastly, we explore the future of AI driven health optimization and how personalized medicine is reshaping the way we approach well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
So if I understand this, what you were saying about alcohol, for example, it promotes the GABA receptor activity, which creates that temporary feeling that anyone who's had alcohol gives that feeling of calm and relaxation. But the effect is artificial, right? You don't get the same effect every time, correct?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
If you're looking for real science-backed strategies to boost your mental clarity, optimize brain function, and enhance your resilience, this episode is packed with insights you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Before we dive in, let's explore my conversation on Tuesday that featured Randy Blythe, the legendary frontman of Lamb of God, who joined me from one of the most raw and insightful conversations we've ever had on the show. We explored his journey through addiction, the pursuit of purpose, and how art can be a vehicle for transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Well, if you were a regular alcohol user and then you abstained from drinking for two to three weeks, when it comes to this, what would be some of the positive effects you would start seeing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
His perspective on resilience, creativity, and personal growth is something every listener can take to heart. And today's episode with Dr. Schur is no different because optimizing your mind and body is at the core of living intentionally. So do you want to dive deeper into what PassionStruck is all about? Then check out our episode starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I understand that also there are certain foods, you've mentioned meats and stuff like that, but there are foods that boost GABA such as broccoli, peas, beans, grains like rice and oats, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach, et cetera. How do you recommend incorporating that into the diet to maximize the positive impacts?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
curated playlists covering leadership, mental resilience, alternative health, personal growth, and so many more. Find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. You can also get exclusive insights and strategies by signing up for my Live Intentionally newsletter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Okay. So maybe we can just think about this in terms of habits. I mean, you've mentioned a lot of things about physical activity, different foods, et cetera, but I would think building the proper habit loops plays a critical role in the regulation of GABA. So what would be some of your advice for steps that a listener or viewer could take?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And if you prefer watching these conversations, head over to my YouTube channel to catch the full video versions and share them with those who are passionate about growth. Now let's get started on a fascinating journey into the future of health optimization and cognitive resilience, and longevity. Let's dive in with Dr. Scott Schur.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so excited today to welcome back my friend, Dr. Scott Schur. Hey, Dr. Scott, how are you doing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I was going to ask you about adult play, which is one of the most popular articles I've ever put out on my blog is its importance to so many things in our lives. But I have to tell you, man, earlier this morning, I go out for a walk early. I was out at 5.15 a.m. and it's pitch black. And then all of a sudden, the whole east side of the sky just lights up out of nowhere.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I was like, what is going on? Turned out to be a SpaceX launch. I love getting out and that being the first thing I do every morning and trying to incorporate as much nature as I can, even though sometimes it's pitch black when I go out. I still find listening to the sounds in the morning, the birds waking up, everything. It does give you such a calming mechanism in your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I think so much of what you were talking about is a topic that I've been trying to put out there a lot on this show, and that is the disease of disconnection. Because we are losing our sense of self because we're connecting to these external communities instead of doing the inner work that we need to. And I think it's having so many ramifications across the globe.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And it got me thinking as you were talking, if your GABA is out of balance, One of the things that I'm seeing around the world is a big gap in people losing their sense of meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And I'm wondering if our gut health is so screwed up, our GABA transmitters are so screwed up, it's influencing our mood and our ability to manage stress, which are underlying factors that contribute to life's purpose and meaning. Do you think there's any correlation there?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I have to tell you, you are now the only guest I have ever brought back three times. And I have to say on my YouTube channel, you have the most popular episode we have ever done. Is that right? And it was talking about methylene blue and nootropics. I know people are really intrigued by your works, just had to have you on again. It's a pleasure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Scott, we've talked a lot about food. We've talked about different exercises you could do, the focus on nature, et cetera. If there was one lifestyle change that you would recommend listeners or viewers start out with to optimize their GABA levels, what would it be and why?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
On that topic, what advancements or insights have emerged in the use of nootropics since we last spoke?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And I want to ask futuristically, where do you see neuroscience and AI going in impacting our ability? I'm thinking here, MRIs, things like that. Could any of these things or AI detect and correct GABA imbalances in the near future?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Well, Scott, I always love having you come on the podcast because we deep dive the most interesting topics. If listeners want to learn more about you, the nootropic products, et cetera, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
That's great. Scott, thank you so much again for joining us. It's always an honor to have you here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I'll have to do it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And that's a wrap on an insightful conversation with Dr. Scott Schur. His expertise on methylene blue, nootropics, and the critical role of GABA in mental and physical health offers a fresh perspective on what it truly means to optimize our performance and well-being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Dr. Schur's approach, blending cutting-edge science with real-world application, reminds us that health optimization isn't just about reacting to illness. It's about intentionally cultivating resilience, vitality, and mental clarity. So as you reflect on today's episode, ask yourself, are you actively taking charge of your health and cognitive function?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
What small intentional shifts could help you perform at your highest level, mentally, physically, and emotionally? Which of today's insights, whether about neurotransmitters, hyperbaric oxygen, or nootropics, resonated most with you? Like Dr. Schur emphasized, true transformation isn't about passively consuming information. It's about taking deliberate action.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
So where you can go from here is that all links to Dr. Schur's work, including Smarter Not Harder, his clinic, and the Troscriptions line are here in the show notes at passionstruck.com. We also have a discount code that you can go there if you want to purchase any of the products from Troscriptions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
So explore his resources, share them with others and take the first step toward optimizing your health. You can also watch the full episode on YouTube and don't forget to check out our exclusive partner deals at passionstruck.com slash deals for even more insights and tools to help you live with greater intention, energy, and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Sign up for my live intentionally newsletter where each week I share actionable strategies and behind the scenes takeaways to help you ignite your growth and potential. If today's episode resonated with you, I'd be so grateful if you leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to help Passion Struck reach even more people who need these conversations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And if you know someone who could benefit from today's discussion, share this episode with them. In the next episode of Passion Struck, we're diving into the hidden forces that shape global power with Edward Fishman, who's a former State Department sanctions official. And Edward takes us inside the world of economic warfare.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
revealing how financial dominance, sanctions, and supply chain control have become America's most potent weapons. If you've ever wondered how conflicts are really fought today, this is a conversation you won't want to miss. And it's completely different from many of the topics that we discuss here on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
I want to end by saying thank you for being part of Passion Struck. This show is built on curiosity, transformation, and action, and I'm grateful to have you on this journey. Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value, share it. Let's keep growing this community and living with intention, impact, and purpose. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And I know one of the key ingredients that people have been most intrigued about in your work has been methylene blue. And that's probably where we on that YouTube channel have gotten the vast majority of the questions. Yeah. Have there been any shifts in how people are integrating methylene blue with lifestyle or diet to maximize its effects?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
But the key also is to welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And has there been any advancements in using it for neurodegenerative diseases or to fight things like chronic fatigue, which I know is directly tied to that gut function as well?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 575.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
The other one was those experiencing brain fog.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Thanks to you, I got to test the product myself and I found if I really am needing to concentrate on something, like let's say I need to focus on writing my book or I'm doing deep preparation for an interview, something like that. It's really been mind blowing how much it helps you concentrate, for me, micro periods of time that I need to use it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
And I'm curious, if you're a person who uses these nootropics maybe two to three times a week for cognitive enhancement, what changes might you expect to see with consistent use for over six to 12 month periods?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Scott Sherr on GABA: The Unsung Hero of Brain Health and Stress Resilience | EP 575
Whether you're a long time listener or tuning in for the first time, I am so thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to living with intention, unlocking your full potential and making what truly matters matter most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Before we dive in to today's episode, let's take a moment to recap my episode from earlier in the week, where I had the honor of sitting down with Madison Marsh, Miss America 2024. Madison shared her inspiring journey to the crown and her mission to use her platform to promote mental health awareness
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
pancreatic cancer awareness and empower young women while leading with authenticity if you missed this episode i highly encourage you to go back and listen it's a powerful conversation filled with insights on resilience purpose and making a meaningful impact and if you're looking to explore more themes like leadership mental health and personal growth don't forget to check out our episode starter packs curated playlist designed to guide you through the best of our 540 plus episodes they're available on spotify or at passionstruck.com starter packs
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
I have a couple of things to respond to that. One, I love what you just said that to get things into your life, you had to give first and you have to constantly give. And I think that's such an important reminder for someone. And the second thing that you brought up throughout this is
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
I recently had Bo Eason, a well-known public speaker on the show, and we were talking about what stories do best when you're public speaking. And he said, no one wants to hear the story of Tom Brady talking about his seven Super Bowl wins.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
They want to hear about the lowest point of his life when he was at Michigan and almost decided to throw in the towel, but made the decision to become what he is today. And I think the same thing goes with this story. And oftentimes people... are afraid to share these stories.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
I was afraid to share some of these dark moments in my life, but I think since I've been doing it and I see other people doing it, these are the stories that people learn the best from. So thank you for sharing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And I'm going to tie this into your new book, big goals, the science of setting them, achieving them and creating your best life, which I just want to acknowledge is a must read on the next, next big idea clubs, best books for 2025. So congratulations on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
So when you're facing something like addiction, like bulimia, when you think about that, it's a really big goal to overcome that dilemma in your life. How does this book, when you look back in time, relate to that trauma you were going through at that time and that goal that you had to set?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
For even more inspiration, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. It's filled with exclusive content to help you apply the wisdom from our episodes into your daily life. And don't forget every conversation we have here is also available in video form on our YouTube channel. where you can watch, share, and grow with others who are passionate about creating change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
I think you just named two great examples. I think it's important because it's top of mind to go through another one. And I have flown American Airlines for years and years, have right now a million and a half miles on them. And they are a huge Boeing customer. But there was one point in time when they were going to move to a different carrier.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And they went to Boeing and said, if you don't do something, we're going to move away from you. And so what happened to Boeing's culture? Because I think it's important to talk about this because I remember when I was doing my MBA studies, I took this course and The professor said, I want you to look at the Fortune 500 from the 1970s and how many companies are on the list today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And the strange thing about this is if you do this for the 80s, the 90s, the 2000s, you'll get the same answer. So many companies disappear because they get comfortable in what they're doing and they lose the creativity and inventiveness. And this is exactly what happened to Boeing. Maybe you can use this goal setting failure to describe their story.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Today, we're diving into a topic that is fundamental to living a fulfilling and purpose-driven life, goal setting. My guest is the renowned positive psychologist and bestselling author, Caroline Adams Miller. Caroline has been a trailblazer in the science of goal setting, grit, and success for over three decades. She's one of the world's leading experts in positive psychology and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
In the book, you also draw a parallel between Dr. Andrew Huberman's ability to distill complex research that he's doing into actionable protocols. And your mission, as you've been discussing is to make goal setting science accessible to everyone.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
So how did Huberman's approach inspire your work and what lessons are you taking from his method into your own real world application?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
and her groundbreaking work has transformed how we approach personal and professional growth. Caroline's latest book, Big Goals, The Science of Setting Them, Achieving Them, Creating Your Best Life, challenges the traditional ways we think about goal setting and introduces a research-backed framework to help us accomplish transformative goals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
She brings fresh perspective to Locke and Latham's goal setting theory, a powerful yet overlooked concept, and explains how we can use it to unlock our potential and achieve lasting happiness. In our conversation, Caroline shares her Bridge Framework, a revolutionary approach to goal setting that blends science, grit, and the psychology of flourishing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
I love it. So one of the things that you mention in the book is that men and women approach goals differently. And oftentimes biases and traditional systems penalize women for behaviors that reward men. What steps outside of an individual, like what steps can organizations take to create more equitable and effective goal setting practices?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
We explore why big goals are essential for personal growth, how the self-esteem movement hindered goal achievement, and the actionable steps you can take to set and stick to goals that truly matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Whether you're a young professional, a parent, or anyone seeking greater clarity and direction in life, this episode is packed with insights that will inspire you to think bigger, act boldly, and create a life aligned with your purpose. Let's dive in with Caroline Adams Miller as we explore the science of setting big goals and unlocking the life you were meant to live.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so excited today to bring Caroline Adams Miller to the PassionStruck audience. Welcome, Caroline.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
For whatever reason, what you just brought up triggered in my mind something that you and I were talking about before the podcast, and that's Albert Maduro's self-efficacy theory. And in the book, you connect self-efficacy theory with goal-setting theory, emphasizing the importance of building confidence and resilience to tackle big goals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
A good friend of mine, Scott Simon, has this book, Scare Your Soul, which I love because he talks about the importance of courage muscles to help you achieve goals. What are some steps listeners can take to develop their I can do it muscle and increase the likelihood of committing to and achieving ambitious goals?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Caroline, you and I have been chatting now for a few months on different topics. And the more I learn about your story, the more it resonates with me. And I think it's important for the audience to hear part of the backstory. And so I want to start at when you were at University of Pennsylvania, because this happened when you're in your mid 40s.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
So one of the things I think it takes... to realize a big goal and to even set one is giving yourself psychological safety, something that Amy Edmondson has pioneered and you talk about in the book. What do you think is this correlation between psychological safety and goal setting?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
While you're raising three children, you make this bold decision to join the first ever Masters of Applied Positive Psychology program. And most people at this stage, and I hear it a lot, when people see the cover of my book, or they hear about the podcast, that they fear it's too late to try something new or they fear they've lost their sense of passion and it's too late for them to regain it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And I can't talk about this whole topic without getting into grit with you. So in the book you talk about, well, let's go back for a second. You wrote Getting Grit in 2017, which Angela Duckworth has said is one of the best science-based approaches that she has seen outside of her own work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
In my own book, Passion Struck, which I know you've read, I describe that being passion struck is this combination of grit and intentionality. And in the book, you mentioned that to go after your goals, you need self motivation in order to do it. And that really unleashes the grit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
So when you think about intentionality, or I think Angela would call it self control in her research, how powerful is that intentionality in building grit and applying it to the goals you're trying to achieve?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
So I think it's important for them to hear your backstory. What drove you to take that leap? And how did reclaiming your purpose during that time shift your sense of mattering
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Thank you so much for doing that correlation because I think it's important for the audience. As I was getting further into your book, One of the best frameworks or exercises that you bring up that I think would be valuable for listeners is something out of positive psychology called best possible future self. Can you describe what this is?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And I want them to go to your book to use it, but why this is something they should be keyed in on?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
As you saw in my own book, I think it's extremely important to tie these principles to science because then it really shows that locking mechanism. So I'm so glad you did it. And I think that's why it's getting so many accolades even before it's launched. The last thing, Caroline, I want to talk about is a metaphor that you use in the book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And I heard this metaphor used recently in another book by Adam Grant, Hidden Potential, where he talks a lot about scaffolding. Can you talk about why it's important to build your scaffolding of your bridge and how that relates to achieving a specific goal.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Caroline, thank you for sharing that and for this amazing conversation. I have one last question for you. You write at the end of your book, the greatest gift you can give to others and to me is for you to share these techniques and tools with people who have never heard of them. What's your challenge to listeners on how they can walk someone else across the bridge?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Well, thank you so much for joining us today. What is the best place for people to go to learn more about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Well, Caroline, it was such an honor to have you today. And I was so anticipating doing this interview and it totally lived up to my expectations and exceeded them. So thank you so much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Well, I think my challenge or goal to readers and listeners is to buy both our books because as you rightly pointed out, I covered a lot of things, but goal setting is something I should have focused more on and now they have a whole book on it. So you can use that to help you accomplish the tiny actions and micro choices that I talk about in the book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Wow, what an inspiring and thought-provoking conversation that was with Caroline Adams Miller. Today's episode was a deep dive into the science of goal setting and achieving the life you truly want. Caroline's bridge framework and her insights into the psychology of grit and human flourishing have given us powerful tools to pursue big goals with intentionality and resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Her message is a reminder that setting meaningful goals isn't just about achievement. It's about transformation, growth, and unlocking your full potential. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on the big goals in your life. Are you aligning your actions with your aspirations? Are you challenging yourself to go beyond the status quo and embrace the discomfort of growth?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Caroline's wisdom offers actionable steps to help you create a life filled with purpose and meaning. If Caroline's message resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. Your feedback helps us continue to bring transformative conversations to the PassionStruck community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And if you know someone who could benefit from this episode, share it with them because a single idea can spark profound change. You can find links to everything we discussed today, including Caroline's book, Big Goals, in the show notes at PassionStruck.com. You can also watch the video version of this conversation on YouTube.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And don't forget to explore our sponsors and exclusive deals at PassionStruck.com slash deals. Supporting our partners allows us to keep bringing you these impactful episodes. Before we go, I want to remind you that I'm passionate about bringing these insights to organizations and teams through speaking engagements.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
If today's conversation inspired you and you think it could benefit your workplace, visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how we can ignite intentional change and growth together. Next week, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Abraham George, a visionary leader and social entrepreneur who has dedicated his life to reducing poverty and inequality in India.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Dr. George is the founder of the George Foundation and the Shanti Bhavan Initiative that provides education, healthcare, and empowerment to those in need. His pioneering work has transformed the lives of over 15,000 individuals as well as their communities, and his insights into leadership, philanthropy, and social justice will inspire you to think differently
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
about how you can make meaningful impact in the world. This is a conversation you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit. And as always, take what you've learned here and put it into action so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck family.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Well, I have to ask, you got to study under Marty, Chris Peterson, Angela Duckworth, Barry Swartz, Barbara Fredrickson, and you just mentioned that study. So Sonia was one of the three authors of it. What was it like? I mean, some of those are my favorite people I've read and studied.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
That is super inspiring and makes me just think of everything I think about the program is what it delivers. So, well, I want to ask a follow-on question to this. So many people today feel like they've lost their sense of mattering. They feel hopeless, which we're going to talk about further in the interview, but a lot are unsure how to reignite their passion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
What lessons from your journey can you share with others who may feel stuck or searching for ways to find meaning and purpose in their own lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Welcome back to episode 548 of the passion struck podcast. I'm your host, John Miles, and I am so grateful for the incredible energy, enthusiasm, and dedication you bring to this community week after week. Your commitment to living a purpose-driven and intentional life is what makes the PassionStruck movement so powerful. And together, we're creating a ripple effect of positive change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Well, I want to do a little bit deeper dive on this since you brought it up. I was going to do it later, but we might as well do it now. So the story here is you are at Harvard, you're a competitive swimmer, and you have all these incredible achievements on the outside. But privately, you're battling this eating disorder that almost cost you your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
If you're tuning in for the first time, welcome. You've just joined a global community of game changers who are igniting their purpose and pursuing lives of boldness, meaning, and impact. We're so thrilled to have you on this journey.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
And I think there are probably people listening to this who are facing maybe not an eating disorder, but an addiction battle or some other battle where they're outside is completely different than how they're feeling on the inside.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Caroline Adams Miller on the Keys to Achieving Big Goals | EP 548
Can you take us back to that period and share what it was like to be the girl who had it all while facing a deeply personal struggle and what it took you to have the strength to break free in that period of time?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I wasn't planning to go here, but it's piqued my interest. What is it about Kratom that does that? Because around here where I live in Florida, you see these Kava and Kratom bars everywhere. And I myself have done Kava and it's been around for centuries, really. But I have never tried Kratom.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I want to go to this area that I call the disease of disconnection. And I want you to think about this time when you were dealing with this addiction to the painkillers. Did you experience disconnection from yourself at that point?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Now let me ask you this. What if the strength we've been taught to value isn't real strength at all? What if true power comes not from suppressing emotion, but from embracing it? And how do we redefine masculinity in a way that fosters deep connection, emotional resilience, and authentic living.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I want to ask a follow-on question about this, and I'm going to set the stage for you so you understand where I'm coming from. Last week, I was interviewing another one of Emma's friends, Sandra Matz, and she's got a new book coming out about AI and what its impact, the algorithms, et cetera, are doing to us as a society.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And we were exploring this whole concept that she grew up in this very small village in Germany. a village that only had a few hundred people in it and everyone knew your successes, your failures, et cetera. But you always had this feeling that people were watching out for you, that they cared for you, et cetera. And we were describing how that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
village which you could think of your family unit is a village i grew up i think you live in pennsylvania i grew up in pennsylvania and i grew up in york and i always felt especially york it's not a very big town but within that i also grew up in a very catholic community so within that community i felt that and now we're going into a global village where many of the actors that were
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
interfacing with don't have our best interest at heart. And in fact, many of them are nefarious and are wanting to control us in certain ways. So how do you think, especially for young adults right now,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
this is impacting their sense of belonging and their feeling of not only how do they matter to themselves but how they show up to others i guess is where i'm going with it i live so i live in atlanta georgia now and i live on the water and i don't know any of my neighbors and it's about 15 minutes to 20 minutes to get anywhere where there's other people
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
That's exactly what we're diving into today with Bryant Wood, a former model and bodybuilder turned master breathwork instructor, spiritual guide, and transformational coach. Bryant has dedicated his life to helping others break through emotional barriers, reconnect with their true selves, and harness the power of breath to heal from within.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And I'm going to just segue this into a question that I wanted to ask you. You've been married to Kat Graham, the actress, now for a year. And for those who aren't familiar with Kat, in addition to being an actor, She is also a big humanitarian and she has done a lot of work for the UN, specifically trying to help refugees feel seen and valued.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
As you've worked with her now more than that the two of you have come together, this whole thing I'm talking about with feeling that you belong, it's not just a US thing. This is something that people are feeling everywhere. What have you experienced through her work along this lens?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
His work is rooted in empowering people to unlock their highest potential through mindfulness, movement, and deep inner work. But Brian's personal journey is what makes his message so powerful. Once consumed by external validation, numbing himself through substances, and disconnected from his spiritual core, he reached a breaking point that forced him to turn inward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It's interesting. I told you my fiance, Corey, I told you about her earlier, but what I didn't tell you is she's a nurse practitioner. She happens to work for an eye institute who does a lot of glaucoma and cataract surgery. So many of the people she's meeting with are older adults. And oftentimes she may be the only person that they're interacting with in a given day.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And she really just cherishes those interactions because she really views it as an opportunity not only to clear them for their surgery, but also to make them feel like they're seen and heard. And it's one of the qualities that I admire about her the most is she's an empath and she's Jewish and I think has this nurturing quality about her that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I can't tell you how many times since we've been dating, she hears how she has saved people's lives or just made them feel better. And it's eye-opening just how a small minute or two conversation can change the whole trajectory of a person's day, week, even life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Absolutely. Brian, I want to get back to your story and your healing journey. You describe assessing something that you call your signature frequency as a turning point in your healing journey. What does that term mean and how can others find their signature frequency?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Through breathwork, prayer, and radical self-exploration, He rediscovered his purpose, and now he's here to help us do the same. In today's conversation, we explore the power of breathwork as a tool for emotional and spiritual transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I'm glad you say that because that's what this whole podcast is about. And I wrote a book last year and I open it up by talking about, I think so many people today are living in what Henry David Thoreau called quiet desperation, meaning they find themselves stuck in this place in life and they don't know how to get out of it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And they've become such a shell of who they are wearing what I call is the mask of pretense, really hiding themselves. who they are because they're trying to conform instead of letting themselves shine. And I think that's exactly what you're describing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
how to cultivate true strength through vulnerability and self-awareness, the science of signature frequency, and how to step into your most authentic self, as well as practical strategies for fostering belonging, connection, and personal growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It is. And this is where that whole disease of disconnection I was talking about really takes root, because if you're not connected to yourself, there's no way you're going to feel like others feel like you matter or there's no way you're going to make other people feel like they matter in the same way if you don't feel like you matter to yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
So one of the things that you're most known for is breathwork. And as you and I were talking about before we came on the show, I first came across breathwork in kind of the early to mid 90s when I was part of-
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
part of a SEAL team and we were using circle breathing and box breathing, probably more box breathing, but it was really a technique that we were using to try to reset our central nervous system so that we wouldn't panic. And we did a lot of yoga practice, a lot of work that you wouldn't think of for elite warriors.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And I remember at that time, we did a lot of training exercise with the Italian special forces, the French foreign Legion. and others, and none of them were using this like we were. But for you, how did Breathwork help you reclaim your sense of power and presence?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating personal challenges, seeking deeper emotional healing, or looking to redefine what it means to live with true authenticity and purpose. Bryant brings profound wisdom, raw honesty, and an undeniable passion for helping others break free from limiting beliefs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Makes me think as people set new year's goals and they look back on the failures that they've had over the past year for not achieving, for not achieving their goals. How much of that do you think has to deal with these emotions being shut off? And then, cause I think it matters a lot more than people realize.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And for those who want to go deeper, check out our episode starter packs on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. With over 580 episodes, we've curated playlists on themes like mental health, personal transformation, and physical well-being. to help you find the insights that resonate most with you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Well, I had an interesting conversation. I'm not sure if you know who Susan Cain is. She's an author. Wrote a great book called Quiet and then came out with another book last year called Bittersweet. And I really wanted to interview her about it because she was really going into these hard emotions we don't want to talk about. Sorrow, suffering, sadness. And we tend to shut those things off.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And this past year, I experienced them in a profound way. I brought up my sister. But then we were also impacted with three feet of water in our house after the hurricanes and had a lot of emotional impact. And I saw just how much it completely halted a lot of the goals that I had for the year. It was like a tale of two years for me. At the beginning of the year, I put out a book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I feel like I'm in cloud nine. My sister dies. Then the hurricane. And it was so hard for me because I was emotionally shut off to get back into those things. And it had a ripple effect in that it started impacting what I was eating and how I was exercising and then how I was showing up to others.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter for exclusive weekly insights, tools, and actionable strategies to live with greater intention. Now, let's dive into an inspiring exploration of breathwork, emotional healing, and redefining strength with the one and only Bryant Wood.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
So I want to talk to you about biohacking. So Passion Struck is at its core an alternative health podcast. So we have done a lot of conversations on the subject of how do you bring down your biological age? And I've had Mark Hyman and Rhonda Patrick, Kara Fitzgerald, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where we've explored that area of it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
But an area that I haven't really talked about is spiritual biohacking. What's the difference? Because you've been a pioneer in this. You've led sold out talks at the biohacking conference, et cetera. What's the difference?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely thrilled today to bring Bryant Wood on PassionStruck. Welcome Bryant.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It's interesting because when I think about talking to Mark Hyman about functional medicine, which he really took from being a novel thing to now It's becoming mainstream. One of the core aspects that I don't hear talked a lot about is spiritual health as a part of it. And yet I think spiritual health is one of the things that's lacking more now than it's ever been.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
All you gotta do is look at the declining attendance at churches around the world. Why do you think there's been a disconnect from the need for spiritual health with the other elements of biohacking?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I absolutely believe that. And I think that with the spiritual healing, for me, it goes hand in hand with hope and gratitude, I find.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I have to give some credit to our mutual friend, Emma Sapella for introducing us. And I thought maybe that would be a great starting point. Emma was a guest of the show last year. She and I have gone on to become very good friends and collaborators. And I really think she's one of the leading people out there as you and I talked about before on
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Are you familiar with director and producer Louis Schwartzberg? Tell me about it. Well, he's most well-known for a Netflix show he did called Fantastic Fungi, which you might have heard of. But if you want to watch something really profound, and I think it gets into this whole core of spiritual healing. Last year, or maybe the year before, one of the two, he did something called Gratitude Revealed.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And he did this documentary on people really expressing gratitude in different forms through different parts of the world. And it was really profound how this gratitude and how we see the moral beauty around us transforms our spiritual sense of well-being. So I just thought it might be something for you to take a look at because I thought he did a tremendous job on it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I think when you start from a place of gratitude, it completely changes the whole approach that you have for your day. I mean, every single day I start my day. I take my dog for a walk and while I'm doing it, I incorporate meditation practice where I am really trying to put myself in one with nature and thanking the universe for another day on the planet. And what am I going to do with it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Because. We all have days where we wish we got more sleep or we don't feel the greatest or whatever. But what I've really found is how you approach those first moments of your day have a cascading effect on how that day is going to go for you. So I always just try to say, no matter what, I want to live a day of excellence because you don't know how many you're going to get.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Brian, you are someone who has participated in mainstream media in many different ways, from speaking to being a top model to being an actor on Netflix. You bring a real unique lens to what it means to be male and have influenced many males around the world. How do you think media representation impacts our understanding of masculinity and our emotional expression?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Well, where I'm trying to go with this is to establish your prominence in this space, because where I really want to go with this is I want to ask you, and then we're going to go from it. What does it mean to you to be a strong and compassionate man in today's world?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Thank you for sharing that. And where I'm trying to go with this is you can look at a lot of people's social spaces and especially those with large audiences and how they're moving people. And I think for a lot of the male dominated ones, there's this image of dominance or a power or of those things. And when I looked at your Instagram.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
One of the posts that really stood out to me is there's this picture of you with these letters written over your face. And it wasn't words of dominance. It was words of love, peace, compassion, understanding. And when I read what you wrote on this, it was really telling. You wrote, what is in your veins? Only a certain quantity or quality of information can get into your brain at a time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And you talked about when I changed the way I perceived the people in the environment that you were around and you got connected back to yourself, only then did your energy open up and flow. So you started to change the way you saw the world by being attuned to your consciousness to let more beauty be into your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And when I think where I'm going with this is you have the chance to influence people. You have the chance to project different things. But what you're projecting there isn't the projection that we see coming out of a lot of male role models. But I think it's one that more people need to see. Because I think that's where true beauty and death lies.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And that's where I was really trying to go with this question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
So it's really goes to the heart and core of you emphasizing the power of presence and awareness. And by doing so, it makes the world a better place.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It makes sense. And really the overarching thing I'm hearing you say is that too many people today are not leaning into their weaknesses. They're not acknowledging the things that they do when they're wrong. And I think part of this goes to, we don't like to admit our vulnerabilities. What you're really saying is that vulnerable, it helps us break down the walls.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And when we break down the walls, it helps compassion and care break through and allows us to be more empathetic is basically what I'm getting from you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I was supposed to interview him last year and unfortunately it fell apart for very sad reasons. My sister who was a Buddhist died of pancreatic cancer and it was just weeks ahead of when I was supposed to interview him. So we weren't able, I wasn't able to get to where he was and we couldn't pull it together, but that is still something I would love to do.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Brian, thank you for sharing that. And the last thing I wanted to ask you about is you've been one of the first breathwork instructors to explore virtual reality in conjunction with breathwork. How do you see technology, including VR shaping the future of mindfulness and connection?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Well, thank you so much for sharing that. And I really appreciate you joining us today. If someone wants to learn more about you, your work, et cetera, where are some of the best places to locate it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Brian, thank you so much for joining us today. It was really an honor to have you. Thank you, John. I so appreciate your questions. And we're going with all of this. And I think they're really important to discuss. And that's a wrap. What an extraordinary conversation with Brian Wood. His journey to deep healing is a powerful reminder that true strength isn't about suppressing emotion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It's about embracing vulnerability, connection and self-awareness. Through his wisdom on breathwork, emotional healing and redefining masculinity, Bryant has given us tools to reconnect with ourselves and live with greater authenticity. As we wrap up, I encourage you to reflect on a few key takeaways from today's episode. Are you showing up in life as your most authentic self?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
What small shifts in your mindset or habits could help you cultivate deeper inner peace? And how can you strengthen your emotional connections and create a greater sense of belonging in your life? If this conversation resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
It's one of the best ways to support the show and help us continue bringing impactful conversations like this to the PassionStruck community. If you know someone who could benefit from Brian's insights, share this episode with them. You never know how much one conversation can change someone's life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And for all the resources we discussed, including Brian's work, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com. If you want to go even deeper, be sure to watch the video version of this episode on my John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you'll find more enriching conversations just like this one. And while you're there, hit subscribe and become part of our growing community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And if you're looking to bring these transformative insights into your organization or team, Visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to explore how we can work together to create intentional change. Coming up next on Passion Struck, I'm joined by Nir Eyal, bestselling author of Hooked and Indistractable. In a world filled with distractions, Nir will break down the psychology of habit formation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
hidden forces that control our focus and how to reclaim your time and attention in an age of constant demands if you've ever felt like your life is being pulled in a million directions this episode will give you the tools to take back control and design a life of deep focus and intentionality so make sure you're subscribed and get ready for another transformative conversation when i applied to college the most important thing when you looked at a university was how many books were in their library
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And remember, the fee for the show was simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
That's something that people tell me about His Holiness the Dalai Lama, too, is that he takes every message and he really personalizes it. Now, I think his overall message is he wants to end human suffering, but he really personalizes it to each person he interacts with and what part they can do to help people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Did you get the same sense from your takeaways in any of those three interviews that you did?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Thank you for sharing that. And Brian, I want to go back to your early beginnings. You've spoken in the past. I've heard you talk about that. When you were younger, you really developed a deep spiritual connection, but later you lost that connection. Can you discuss that? And was there an event that happened that caused that to happen? Was it just you aging and changing your belief cycles?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome to episode 584.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
What was it that happened as you entered adulthood?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Yeah, it's interesting. I was a division one athlete myself. And for those people who go into it, I don't think I realized before I accepted it and started performing how much you are really owned in a sense by the school who you're I almost like to say performing for, because you really are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I mean, everything, your whole scholarship, everything is dedicated to you giving 120% to that athletic endeavor. Did you find that to be the case as well?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
I didn't have as much of that luxury, although that's what their expectation was. But I was at the Naval Academy, so we still had to do a whole bunch of stuff around it. But they still had that attitude. I ran cross country and track. So we were still running at times 80 to 120 miles a week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And I just remember my plebe year just being physically and utterly exhausted, especially during track seasons. And I remember, and I tell people these stories and they can't believe it. We would do a warmup six to eight mile run, and then we would come to the track and do four or five, one mile repeats all under 430 with a 400 in between and the 800 ones and others were even worse.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And then having to go from that and know you were going to get harassed back in the halls and then having to study and everything else, it's just a lot.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You've joined a global movement dedicated to igniting purpose, living boldly with intention and creating a life filled with meaning and connection. Before we dive in, let's reflect on the powerful conversation we had earlier in the week with Dr. Laurie Santos.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Wrestling is one of those things that, I mean, it takes a lot out of you. You have to deal with a lot of physical pain. And injuries. Now I had things like stress fractures and other things like that, but it doesn't really compare in a way to what you were going through. And I was talking to a friend who played for Notre Dame around the time they won their 88 national championship.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
And he was telling me how they were at that time encouraged to use painkillers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Bryant Wood on How to Unlock Healing with Spiritual Biohacking | EP 584
Laurie is one of the world's foremost experts on happiness and well-being, and she took us on a deep dive into the science of joy, why our minds mislead us, and the power of connection in building a truly fulfilling life. If you haven't had a chance to listen, I highly recommend going back. It's packed with wisdom that can transform the way you approach happiness and meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Have you ever felt that your pursuit of excellence leaves you more stressed than satisfied? What if perfectionism isn't a flaw to be fixed, but a strength to be harnessed? Today, we're diving into the transformative and often misunderstood world of perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schaffler.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Yeah, it's interesting. I interviewed Alison Woodbrooks last week, who's a professor at Harvard Business School, who focuses on kind of the art of conversation. And she said something to me about when we're talking to someone, it really has this duality to it that we either feel seen or we feel unseen. And it
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
what you were just talking about and reading the room and emotions and everything else kind of brought that up to me. Is there a connection between our communication and how others communicate with us and perfectionism?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
psychotherapist, speaker, and author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, A Path to Peace and Power. Catherine's groundbreaking approach challenges everything we think that we know about perfectionism, showing us that it isn't something we need to fix or eradicate. It's a force that can be harnessed for growth, connection, and fulfillment.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
I love how you describe that intimacy. And the other thing I think about when I think about deep conversations is almost Louise Hay's mirror work, except in her work, it's really putting a mirror up against yourself. And I think in real deep conversation, intimate conversation, it's putting up a mirror
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
to each other, because when we really listen to someone, when we truly are intimate about their lives, we see aspects of our own story in theirs, even though our stories could be completely different, there's still an underlying connection to standards or conditions that we all feel, so to speak.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So I never know how these interviews are going to go. I was going to ask you a question to describe the five different types of perfectionists, but you kind of already went into one. So I'm going to change away my approach and I'm going to go into each one of them and ask you a question about them. Is that all right?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
OK, so you have five different types of perfectionist. You talked about the second one, which is the Parisian perfectionist. You start out with the classical perfectionist who values structure and self-discipline, but can sometimes come across as rigid or unapproachable. How can someone with this type of perfectionism balance their strengths like reliability or perhaps attention to detail?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
In our discussion, we'll explore the five types of perfectionists, classic, intense, Parisian, messy, and procrastinator. and how understanding your type can unlock self-awareness and strengthen your relationships. We go into how perfectionism impacts our sense of belonging, self-worth, and wholeness, and why it's so deeply tied to our desire to matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
without letting their need for structure isolate them from others around them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Catherine discusses her personal journey through a cancer diagnosis, which forced her to confront her own need for control and how it shaped her understanding of resilience, compassion, and joy. We discuss practical strategies to shift from self-punishment to self-compassion, creating a healthier relationship. more intentional relationship with perfectionism.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
The third one, I was really surprised by the name when I first read it, the procrastinator perfectionist, because I typically don't think of perfectionists as procrastinators, but I can see how it happens when people freeze when it comes to starting new things due to their failure or fear of failure or fear of loss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
For me, it's something I talk about here all the time. Bob Sutton, a Stanford professor, wrote this great book on how to close the gap between knowing and doing. And to me, that's kind of what resonated here. It's kind of the mindset thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
That staying stuck is a greater risk than taking imperfect action or something like that is what I was playing around with in my mind when I was trying to go through this concept.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Which brings us to the fourth. Yeah. Which brings us to the fourth one, which is the messy perfectionist who thrives on new beginnings, but struggles with follow through, often putting the blame on themselves when things fall apart.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So how can someone who's a messy perfectionist embrace their creativity and adaptability while working within the real world constraints of things like time, resources, et cetera?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And then lastly, we go into how embracing your perfectionism can help you stop striving for superficial control and start living with real power.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Whether you identify as a perfectionist, know someone who does, or simply want to deepen your understanding of how to live more intentionally, this episode will offer insights and actionable tools to help you find peace, embrace your wholeness, and enjoy your life today, not someday.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
I absolutely see, having gone through the process, what you mean. I would either have to go down the traditional publishing or the hybrid publishing to get it done for the exact reasons that you just brought up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Before we dive into today's episode, let's reflect on the powerful conversation with Shige Oishi we shared earlier this week. Dr. Oishi is a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago and has dedicated his career to studying happiness, meaning, and culture. And he introduced us to this concept of psychological richness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And Catherine, that brings us to the last one, the intense perfectionist who's laser focused on their vision, often struggling with anger or frustration when things don't go as planned. And as I was reading this type, it made me think of Steve Jobs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Because he was someone who was so laser focused on his vision. He didn't give a hoot about likability. That was like the last thing from his mind. And this is a type in the Fortune 50 world that I existed in, I saw a lot of this. And you see a lot of it, I think, in entrepreneurs too.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So how can someone, if they're an intense perfectionist, balance their drive for results with the need for collaborating and having empathy on others, which typically can be lacking? Yeah.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
The idea that a life filled with diverse, novel, and challenging experiences can lead to deeper fulfillment. This is a topic I'm going to tackle even more deeply in tomorrow's solo episode and how we can apply psychological richness to our work environments. And if you're ready to take these insights even deeper, don't forget to check out our episode starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Yeah, well, if you look at the Harvard study of adult aging, or if you look into self-determination theory, they both showcase how important relationships are to us and our overall well-being. So absolutely plays into our sense of mattering and belongingness, regardless of what type you are. I'm going to switch the conversation a little bit on you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
I can't believe we have over 570 episodes now, and I know it can be overwhelming. So we've curated playlists to help you find just the topic that you need to listen to today. You can find them on Spotify or by visiting passionstruck.com. For weekly inspiration and actionable tips, be sure to sign up for the Live Intentionally newsletter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
It's packed with exclusive content and tools, as well as challenges to help you put the lessons from our episodes into practice. And if you prefer watching these conversations, all our episodes are available on our YouTube channels where you can catch the videos and share them with others in your life who are passionate about growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So now let's get back to uncovering the science, stories, and strategies behind turning perfectionism from a source of shame into a powerful tool for growth and belonging. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
I am so excited today to welcome Katherine Morgan Schaffler, the PassionStruck podcast. Welcome, Katherine.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Catherine, the way I normally like to set up these interviews is I'll do a little bit of your background and then we're going to get into later on your terrific book, which I'm holding here, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And I just wanted to give this the praise it deserves because not only is it a Next Big Idea Club book, but Amazon and USA Today recommended it as one of their books to readers. So congratulations on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Well, Catherine, thank you so much for sharing that. And I'm going to have to wrap up here because I know you need to go. But this is one of those episodes where I wish I had another hour with you because there are a few that we just talked about self-punishment. But there are a few things I just want to give to the audience on why they should buy this book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
You have worked with some of the most ambitious, high-achieving individuals, yet one theme as I was looking through your work seems universal. The tension between striving for perfection and and a feeling of a sense of belonging. Can you share how your journey for studying perfectionism began?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Uh, two of my favorite chapters were chapter seven and chapter eight and chapter seven. Catherine goes into 10 key perspective shifts to help you find the success you're looking for. And in chapter eight, she goes through eight behavioral strategies to help each type of perfectionist. So definitely encourage you to buy the book, to learn about those things.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And one of the, my favorite things that you talk about in the book is perfectionism is a power and. To me, it's this whole idea that we're already whole, not because of what we do, but because of who we are and embracing this belief can deepen our sense of belonging. And we shouldn't look at perfectionism as a negative aspect to us, but as a strength, we just need to learn how to harness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So with that, what is the best way for listeners to learn more about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Thank you too. And I also love that you highlighted other guests that I've had on the show in the book, like Amy Morin. So I love her.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Those things were great too. So thank you so much, Catherine. It was such an honor.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And that concludes today's episode. What an enlightening and thought-provoking conversation that was with Katherine Morgan Schaffler. Today's episode was a powerful, thought-provoking exploration of perfectionism, what it truly means, how it impacts our lives, and how we can transform it from a source of shame into a source of strength.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Catherine's insights into the five types of perfectionists, her deeply personal story, and her strategies for embracing self-compassion have given us a fresh and empowering perspective on living with intentionality as well as authenticity. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on your own relationship with perfectionism. Are you striving for control or are you embracing your wholeness?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Are you giving yourself permission to enjoy your life today rather than waiting for that elusive perfect moment? Catherine's wisdom reminds us that perfectionism isn't about fixing ourselves. It's about reclaiming our power, connecting to our sense of belonging, and choosing joy over judgment. If Catherine's message resonated with you, please take a moment, leave us a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Your feedback fuels the show and helps us bring these transformative conversations to the PassionStruck community. And if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, share it with them. Because one conversation can spark a lifetime of change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
You'll find links to everything we discussed today, including Catherine's book, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Don't forget to check out the video version of this conversation on our YouTube channels and explore our sponsors and exclusive deals at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Supporting our partners allows us to continue delivering impactful episodes like this one. Before we go, I want to remind you that I love bringing these insights to organizations and teams through keynotes and speaking engagements. If today's discussion inspired you, and if you think it could benefit your workplace or community, visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Next week, I am thrilled to sit down with Randy Bly. lead vocalist of the renowned metal band Lamb of God and author of the forthcoming memoir, Just Beyond the Light, Making Peace with the Wars Inside Our Head. Randy delves into his personal journey of maintaining positivity and perspective amidst life's challenges.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
He shares insights on balancing sobriety, art, and surfing, and offers hope that true balance is achievable even in seemingly hopeless times. Join us for this compelling conversation that explores finding light beyond the darkness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And remember, the fee for this show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And as always, take what you have learned here and put it into action so that you can live what you listen. Till next time, live life passion strong.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
And the book is really written, as I was reading it, more towards women, but it's obviously universally applicable. But you describe perfectionism as a woman's attempt to feel whole in a world that often expects her to minimize herself. And my question to you is, how can we define wholeness in a way that honors ambition while freeing us from the need to overperform or over control?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome back to episode 572.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Okay.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
I am so grateful for the incredible energy, enthusiasm, and dedication that you bring to this community each week. Your commitment to living a purpose-driven and intentional life is what makes the passion struck movement so powerful. And together, we're creating a ripple effect of positive change. Now let me ask you something.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
Thank you for going into that. And I do agree that language, especially in different environments, tends to play significantly different roles between genders. And I mean, I've seen it play out so many times during my professional career.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Katherine Morgan Schafler on Control, Perfectionism, and Letting Go | EP 572
So you have done a lot of work on empathetic accuracy, which delves into our ability to sense emotional landscapes and how we connect with others, if I understand it correctly. How does that skill intersect with perfectionism?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
But I think what you're talking about here with this value system is incredibly important because it really gets into things that about self and how we can reshape them. And I was hoping you could give your perspective on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Emily is a pioneering neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania. She's also the Vice Dean of the Annenberg School of Communication, Director of the Communication Neuroscience Lab, and leads the Climate Communication Division at the Annenberg Public Policy Center. Her work sits at the intersection of psychology, communication, and the science of change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
I wanted to actually ask you a follow-up question on social relevance because it just kind of hopped in my head as you were talking and. Before we came on, I was telling you about Professor Gordon Flett, who wrote the book, The Science of Mattering. And he wrote a article for the New York Times this past year on the topic of anti-mattering, which is really the experience of not mattering.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
But what my question is, is this concept of anti-mattering simply a misfire in the brain's social relevance system? Or does it reflect something deeper and more systemic from a societal standpoint?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
It's both. It starts with self and then becomes a reciprocal loop.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
In this fascinating conversation, we dive into the hidden processes that shape our decisions, how self-relevance and social connection influence everything we share, and what it really takes to inspire change from individual habits to global movements. Emily's insights are essential for anyone who wants to understand, influence,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Thank you for sharing that. And today I am talking to Emily Falk and we're talking about her brand new book, What We Value, which I'm holding up here again. And I'm going to jump back into this. In chapter one, one of the most vivid stories I thought in your book was about Jenny Radcliffe, this people hacker.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And something you don't know about me, Emily, is when I came out of the Naval Academy, I worked for the NSA while I was in the service. And then when I got in the private sector, I worked for Accenture and I ran the cybersecurity practice for one of their major areas. So I'm very familiar. I was also the chief information security officer of a couple of Fortune 500s.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
improve communication, and create messages that move people, not just in theory, but in the real world. We also explore how small acts of sharing are foundational to human connection, how algorithms and culture shape our values and attention, what neuroscience teaches us about motivation, empathy, and identity, and how to align what we value with the change we want to create.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
But what Jenny did is she bypassed the bank's fingerprint scanner just by triggering a guard's discomfort. And I wanted to ask, what does the story reveal about how quickly and unconsciously our brain value system can be hijacked in the moment?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
But before we dive in, let's reflect on my episode earlier this week. On Tuesday, I was joined with Humble the Poet to unpack one of the most widespread and misunderstood emotional experiences of our time, anxiety. It's an unfiltered look at identity, self-worth, and finding calm in a chaotic world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Well, there you go.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Oh, it also made me think of how does our perception of others values, especially in not only the environment you talked about on the web, but in social media environments, distort the choices that we make about who we are and how we show up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
So, Emily, this has been a great year for books from your field. And I've had Adam Galinsky on the show. I've had Shige Oishi. But another one of your peers I had on the show was Alison Wood Brooks, who came out with a great book called Talk. And she teaches communication skills at Harvard. In our conversation,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
We were discussing this idea of active listening and how active listening is really a social mirror of us reflecting ourselves and the person we're talking to. And I wanted to explore this because in chapter three, you write, our brains care a lot about what other people think about us. And that even subtle social cues like peer approval can deeply shape how we calculate value.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And if you're new here, don't forget to check out our curated episode starter packs at spy or passionstruck.com slash starter packs. They're a great way to explore themes like neuroscience, purpose, emotional mastery, and more. Want to go even deeper? Subscribe to the Passion Struck YouTube channel to watch today's episode and sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Why is that social feedback loop so sticky? And how can we tell when it's guiding us versus the other side when it's hijacking us?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
I don't ask the simple questions here on PassionStruck. We go after the big ones.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Now, let's dive into the fascinating conversation with Dr. Emily Falk. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am absolutely honored and thrilled today to have Dr. Emily Falk on PassionStruck. Welcome, Emily.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
for those of you who are watching, I'm putting up Emily's brand new book, which is a next big idea club must read for April. It's called what we value the neuroscience of choice and change. And this is your first book. How does it feel for this to be coming out into the world?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Yeah. I'm not sure if this book is like my books, but people say, I can't believe how quickly you turned out a book. And when I wrote passion struck, I'm like, that was a seven year journey to the time that thing came out. And then when I'm working on now, I've really been studying the subject matter of mattering now for over a decade. So. I just feel I've achieved enough expertise in it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
That reminds me of the work of a neuroscientist you might know, David Yadin, because he got his PhD at Penn, but that's what he's doing at Johns Hopkins now as well. He's in their lab where they're looking at psilocybin and other types of drugs, primarily to how do they help with transcendent types of drugs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Experiences and what do those experiences trigger inside of us and how do we get to them without the use of drugs in everyday life? So to me, it's really fascinating, the work that they're doing and it's like to our spiritual self. So your book is divided into three sections and we've been talking about the first two so far.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And I want to ask you a couple of questions from part three, which is on connection. And in chapter seven, you write that when people are more in sync, physically, emotionally, even neurologically, they tend to understand each other better. What are the simplest, most powerful things we can do to create that sense of brain to brain synchrony in daily life?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And I don't consider myself an expert, but I've achieved a certain level that I now feel like I can proclaim it to the world, so to speak. But it took time to get there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
So I wanted to hit on two things there. First is something Emily just said is really important. We, as people underestimate the power of tiny acts that we could do every single day to build connection. And if we could be more intentional about using them, it could so strengthen so many of the relationships that we want to strengthen. I think that's at the core of what you were just talking about.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
let's talk about what we value. And you open up with a story about your grandmother, whose name is Bev, asking you how you spend your time, basically. And this hits home for me because my parents are now eight in their mid eighties. My mom is just turned 80 and every time they come to visit, that's the fundamental thing that she's always saying is we're here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And then I just wanted to pay tribute to Emil Gruneau because I wish now more than ever he was still around because his work on dehumanization and seeing the other side differently is needed so much in the world. I just interviewed Kurt Gray as well, and I really think both of their work that they were doing on morality, et cetera, is so needed right now.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Well, I did a whole episode, a solo episode on it, and I ran it by Jamil before I put it out just to make sure I was getting it right. But I'll send it to you, and if you can get it to them, that would be fantastic because I really wanted to honor his work. Well, Emily, you write that the choices we make together create the world we live in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
In this polarized time that you were just mentioning, what kind of choices would create a world where people feel seen and valued?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
You need to be focused and give us your presence. And she's right. But there's so many things today that are pulling us away from moments like that. How did that moment for you shape your exploration of our daily decisions and honestly, what truly matters?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Absolutely. And thank you for answering it in such depth. So Emily, I have one final question for you. If you could whisper one insight about what we value and choice into everyone's mind, what would it be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Fantastic. Well, Emily, it was such an honor to have you today and thank you for all the work that you've been doing to bring this science into people's hands and help people live lives that are better and choices that are going to take them in life to where they want to go. It's such an honor to have you on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
To me, it doesn't feel like work. It just feels like I get to constantly learn and practice neuroplasticity every single day. Thank you so much.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Dr. Emily Falk. Her research sheds light on something we all feel but rarely examine, why we care about what we care about. From how we build connections to how we decide what's worth our time, energy, and voice, Emily's work is a masterclass in understanding human behavior through the lens of value.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
As we reflect on today's episode, here are a few questions to take with you. What do you share most often, and what does it say about what you value? How might you use the science of self-relevance to drive change in your own life? What ideas or causes are you ready to amplify, not just because they matter, but because they reflect who you are?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
If you found this episode meaningful, please take a moment to share a five-star rating and review. It helps us grow the show and bring these insights to more people around the world. You'll find all the resources we discussed today, including Emily's phenomenal book, What We Value, in the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And if you want to watch the full conversation, head over to johnrmiles.com YouTube channel and hit the subscribe button. Coming up next on Passion Struck, Dr. Gordon Flett joins me to explore the science of mattering. Why feeling like you matter is essential as belonging and how it shapes our mental health. motivation, and resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
If you've ever felt invisible or questioned your worth, this is the episode you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Thanks for being part of the PassionStruck movement. Your pursuit of growth, meaning, and impact is what makes the community so powerful. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If something resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it. Until next time, live life PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
I'm a huge fan of Katie Milkman's work and her book, How You Change, I think is one of the best out there on the topic of how to use behavior science principles to help you change. But if I were talking to her right now, I would say you and Emily are like the perfect tag team to come in and cover this from a neuroscience perspective, a behavioral science perspective, a connection perspective.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
It's really incredible how much the two books complement each other. And one thing your book really gets into is the concept of the brain's value calculation. What surprised you the most through your research about how the brain weighs our choices, especially when those choices go up against what we know is good for us?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam, welcome to episode 596.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Whether you've been with us for a while or you're joining us for the first time, thank you so much for being here. You're now part of a global community of changemakers committed to living with purpose, leading with intention, and igniting a life that truly matters. Let me ask you this. Why do we share the things we do?
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Yeah. So I'm just going to comment on your cake comment because When I was around seven years old, I used to love space and wanted to be an astronaut. And my mom made me this homemade rocket cake that was in the shape of a rocket. And to this day, I can't ever get it out of my head.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
But shortly after that year, my parents both went to the University of Michigan and we started going to the Michigan alumni camp. So every week we would go.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Yes. Yeah. Up at Walloon Lake. And we would always go during my birthday week. And so the cakes up there weren't very good. So I always remember the rocket cake because nothing else as a child ever lived up to it.
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Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
One thing I wanted to ask you about, you were just talking about how the value system integrates Our current attention, our past experiences, future dreams. And one of the things I get asked about a lot is how do you go from where you are to where you want to be?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
Why do some ideas spread like wildfire while others fall flat, no matter how important they are? And what if the key to lasting behavioral change isn't more willpower, but understanding how the brain assigns value? That's exactly what today's guest, Dr. Emily Falk, explores in her groundbreaking new book, What We Value, The Neuroscience of Choice and Change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Emily Falk on How to Rewire Your Brain for Better Choices | EP 596
And I, I always try to use self discrepancy theory to talk about this because there's your current self, the self you think you should be in the self that you could be. And I remember having a discussion with Hal Hirschfeld. I love him and his work. And we were talking about. the future self and how do you become that ideal self you've always wanted to be.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
What if the strength of your family doesn't come from grand gestures but from the small moments you don't even notice? In episode 582, I dive into how tiny, everyday choices can either bring you closer together or slowly create distance. Join me as we uncover the quiet, often overlooked actions that truly hold families together. Welcome to Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
That shift doesn't require more time, more energy, or complete lifestyle change. It requires intentionality. So this leads me to one of the most important questions I think so many of us face. How do we give when we have nothing left? I know this is what I felt almost every single day when I came home from work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And it's important to realize if kids build their self-worth by how we respond to them, and if we're so exhausted, overstimulated, and mentally drained that we can't respond with presence, then where does that leave us? Dr. Pressman put it to me this way. Kids don't just need us to be there. They need us to be emotionally available. But that's impossible if we keep running on empty.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And yet, that's the reality for so many parents. After a full workday, Whether at the office or at home, we have nothing left to give. We're still processing work stress. We're handling logistics, schedules, and obligations. And on top of that, we're supposed to be emotionally present for our kids. That's an impossible ask. But burnout doesn't just damage us. It damages connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
So how do we correct it? The first step is acknowledging what's really draining us. We assume our kids need more of our time, but what they really need is more of our attention. Most parents don't even realize how much residual attention we're giving to things that aren't in the room. emails, to-do lists, work obligations that bleed into family time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
We're physically present, but mentally elsewhere. Our bodies transition from one space to another, but our minds don't. You walk through the front door, but your head is still in a meeting. You're making dinner, but you're still processing an unresolved email. Your child asks a question, and you nod, half-listening, before realizing... You have no idea what they just said. Kids can feel this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
That's why the solution isn't just be more present. It's about creating a buffer between work and family. A small deliberate moment where we transition, reset. and reclaim our attention before stepping into the next role.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When I spoke with Dr. Wendy Smith, she talked about the false trade-off that so many parents feel, the belief that you have to choose between being productive and being emotionally available. But it's not about choosing one over the other. It's about intentionally designing small shifts that allow both to coexist. It doesn't take hours. It takes five minutes. The act of pausing
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Stepping outside for a breath, closing your eyes for a moment, shaking off the workday before reengaging can make all the difference. Because kids don't need us to be available all the time. They need us to be fully there when we are available. And this leads me to the second important question we have to answer. How do families drift apart without even realizing it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Most families don't break because of one catastrophic event. They fade through tiny, imperceptible moments of disconnection. It happens quietly. Dinner becomes a collection of separate screens, everyone eating in their own world. Conversations shrink to logistics, schedules, deadlines, the practicalities of life. The household starts to feel like a place where people coexist rather than connect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Beneath the surface, something is missing. Today, we're diving into a silent epidemic of disconnection that's slowly eroding families. How the feeling of not mattering is at the core of this struggle. It's not that families don't love each other.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Dr. Gottem's research found that thriving families don't necessarily spend more time together, they just have more consistent anchor points, which are small, predictable moments that bring them back together. But for many modern families, even these small moments are slipping away. Dr. Pressman told me, "'Kids need rituals of belonging.'"
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Something as simple as predictable mealtimes, where they know they will be seen and heard, creates an emotional anchor. Yet in many homes, dinner has become just another task, one that, more often than not, happens in front of a screen. It's not that parents don't care. It's that exhaustion, stress, and digital distraction make it easier to disconnect than to connect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
So the real question isn't, how do we stop disconnecting? And that's where technology plays a much bigger role than we realize. The biggest force pulling families apart isn't just stress. It's the quiet, ever-present pull of screens. We aren't just distracted anymore. We are overstimulated. We check emails at dinner. We scroll through social media during conversations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
We turn to Netflix instead of each other. Not out of disinterest, but because it's easier than the emotional effort of connection. And kids, they're learning the same habits. Dr. Pressman explained to me that kids don't retreat into screens just for entertainment. They do it to cope with feeling unseen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
A child who doesn't feel like they're being noticed will naturally find a place where they are noticed, even if it's online. But the most powerful way to make a child put their phone down isn't restriction, it's engagement. So how do we stop screens from replacing human connection? Not by eliminating them, but by redefining how we use them. First, we need to set realistic tech boundaries.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Completely banning screens isn't practical. Instead, we need small, predictable boundaries that protect key moments of connection. Instead of no screens allowed, shift to no screens in these spaces. such as no phones at the dinner table, no screens in bedrooms after a set time, no devices during face-to-face conversations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Instead of less screen time, switch to screen time with purpose, watching shows together instead of separately, using apps for connection, like shared playlists, Family gaming nights. Texting or video calling is a way to stay in touch, not just to escape. The goal isn't to remove screens, it's to make sure they don't replace family connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
The second thing we can do is to model the habits we want to see. Parents want kids to be less distracted, yet we often model distraction ourselves. If our first instinct after work is to check our phones, we can't be surprised when our kids do the same. Dr. Smith explained to me that kids internalize what they see far more than what they've been told.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
the sense of being truly seen valued and acknowledged has been lost in the shuffle of everyday life we often assume that because love exists in the family the connection is there too but love alone isn't enough without intentional actions that show we matter to each other love fades into the background so today i'm exploring how families can get caught in a cycle of emotional neglect
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
She told me a child who grows up watching their parents choose presents will naturally do the same. But if they only see their parents distracted, they'll learn that that's the norm. This means owning our own digital habits.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
it means placing the phone out of reach during meals creating check-in moments where work emails and notifications are off limits and being mindful of how often we're half listening while looking at a screen kids don't just follow rules they follow examples and then third don't just block tech replace it with engagement instead of just limiting screen time give kids something better to do a child buried in a screen
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
may not just put it down just because you ask, but they will put it down if there's something more engaging happening with the people they love. This doesn't mean orchestrating elaborate bonding activities. It means creating simple, inviting moments of togetherness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
cooking together instead of eating separately, playing a quick card game before bed instead of passive scrolling, walking the dog as a family instead of everyone disappearing into their own corners. A family that plays together, cooks together, and lingers together doesn't need as many rules about tech because the alternative becomes more appealing than the screen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And this leads me to the final question. How do we rebuild connection without overwhelming ourselves. One of the biggest myths about family connection is that it requires grand, time-consuming efforts. But real connection isn't about built in long, deep conversations or extravagant gestures. It's built in small daily moments of intentional presence.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When I asked Arthur Brooks about this, he told me, happiness in relationships isn't about eliminating stress. It's about managing yourself, not the outside world. And that's the key. Reconnection isn't about doing more. It's about showing up differently in the time you already have. And Dr. Smith's research on paradoxes reinforces this idea.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
She explained that the happiest families don't force togetherness. They design tiny, meaningful interactions that fit with their real lives. So instead of trying to fix disconnection with more scheduled time together, what if we focused on infusing connection into what already exists? Instead of eating dinner in silence, what if we used that time to actually talk?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Instead of everyone disappearing into separate rooms after dinner, what if we lingered for five extra minutes? Instead of asking kids, how was your day? Which inevitably leads to them answering, fine. What if we asked, what made you laugh today? Or what was something interesting you learned? These tiny shifts change the emotional culture of a home. Because family connection isn't about quantity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
It's about quality and consistency. So this leads me to the one-sentence daily habit that changes everything. If a child's self-worth is shaped by whether they feel seen, then perhaps the most powerful shift we can make is actually saying it out loud. Once a day, take a moment to acknowledge something about them. Not just a compliment. Not just a passing good job. Something specific.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Something like, I love how kind you were to your sister today, or I'm proud of how hard you worked on that, or I love spending time with you. It takes less than 10 seconds, but over time, it becomes the foundation of their self-belief. And Dr. Gottlam's research shows that the ratio of positive interaction to negative ones determines the long-term health of any relationship. And that's the point.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Families don't thrive because of one big dramatic moment of connection. They thrive because of thousands of tiny moments that prove over and over again that everyone matters. And here's the truth. We won't always be perfectly present. We won't always say the right thing. We won't always get it right. But kids don't need perfect parents. They need parents who try.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
even without conflict. I'll go into the impact of small, unnoticed moments that make us feel invisible, and why showing that we matter is essential to keeping families strong and connected. These are the quiet struggles many families face, and in this episode, we'll unpack how the lack of feeling truly valued is affecting family dynamics and what we can do about it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
They need parents who make the effort, even when they're exhausted, even when life is chaotic. They need evidence, small daily moments that prove they matter. And the good news? Those moments are already happening. We just have to notice them. And that's a wrap on today's episode. But here's the thing. This conversation doesn't end here. Connection isn't built in grand gestures.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
It's built in the unnoticed moments, the tiny choices we make when no one is watching. The moment you look up from your phone when your child speaks. The extra minute you linger at the dinner table instead of rushing off. The way you say goodnight. not as a routine, but as a ritual. No single moment defines a family, but a thousand small ones do. The reality is we won't get this right every day.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
We'll be distracted. We'll be tired. We'll snap when we didn't mean to. But what matters isn't perfection. It's returning. Whether after a hard day, we still make space to connect. Whether in the middle of chaos, we find seconds.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
just seconds to remind someone they matter whether we choose to see each other even when life makes it easy to look away that's what makes a family strong not just love but the proof of it woven into the smallest most ordinary moments of every day so if this episode resonated with you pay it forward share it with someone who needs to hear it post it tag me
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
I want to know what stood out to you the most. And if you want to take this deeper, I don't just talk about these ideas. I bring them into organizations, teams, and communities to ignite real transformation. If you're looking for a workshop, keynote, or event that will reshape how people think about relationships, purpose, and personal mastery, let's connect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Head over to johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more. And coming up next on Passion Struck. I have a profound conversation for you. I'm sitting down with Dr. Lori Santos, Yale professor and host of the Happiness Lab podcast to explore the science of wellbeing, why our minds trick us into chasing the wrong things and how small shifts in daily life create lasting happiness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
You absolutely don't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And remember, you're not here to consume content. You're here because you're investing in yourself. And that's what makes PassionStruck so powerful. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And lastly, the fee for this show is simple. If you got value here, pay it forward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Leave a five-star rating, share the episode, post it, text it, whatever it takes to get this into the hands of people and families who need it most. Until next time, keep choosing the things that matter. And as always, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Before we dive in, I want to remind you about the episode starter packs. handpicked collections of our most popular episodes that help you start your journey toward intentional living. You can find them on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And if you haven't already joined, you need to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter, where I share weekly insights, challenges, practical strategies, and exclusive content to help you live with greater purpose. You can sign up at passionstruck.com. All right, let's get started.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. At first glance, everything looks fine. A mother stands at the kitchen counter, scrolling through emails as she sips her coffee. Her teenage daughter enters, backpack slung over one shoulder, and mutters a half-hearted, mourning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
The mother replies without even looking up. In the living room, a father flips through the news on his phone while his son plays a video game. They sit just a few feet apart, yet they haven't spoken beyond a passing, "'Did you finish your homework?' Dinner is a quiet shuffle of plates and utensils, punctuated by short practical question, "'Who's driving to practice?'
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Did you pay the electricity bill? Conversations are efficient, but they don't go beyond logistics. And at the end of the night, they retreat to their separate rooms, each absorbed in their own world. This isn't a broken home. It's just a disconnected one. Nobody's fighting. Nobody's yelling. The love is still there, unspoken, assumed, but present. And yet, something crucial is missing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a leading expert on social connection, describes this as a form of loneliness we rarely talk about. We often think loneliness is about physical isolation, she told me in episode 282, but loneliness isn't about being alone. It's about feeling unseen. You can be surrounded by family and still feel profoundly lonely. Most families don't fall apart with a bang.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
They fade through the slow erosion of attention, the accumulation of moments where mattering is assumed but never demonstrated. We assume that love is enough, that just because we care about someone, they automatically feel valued. But love, left unexpressed, becomes background noise. Psychologist Dr. John Gottam spent decades studying what makes relationships thrive or fail.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
What he found wasn't what most people expect. In healthy families, people acknowledge each other's bids for attention 86% of the time. In struggling families, that number drops below 33%. Not because they don't love each other, but because they stop seeing each other. Gottman describes these as sliding door moments. tiny opportunities to turn toward someone instead of away.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
A child says, Mom, look what I made. The parent glances up and says, uh, uh, nice, then looks back at their phone. The partner asks, how was your day? Instead of pausing, looking them in the eye and truly listening, the other mutters, fine, barely looking up. The child stops showing their artwork. The partner stops asking about the day. Dr. Wendy Smith.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Professor of Management at the University of Delaware has spent years studying paradoxes in relationships. When I interviewed her on the podcast, she explained that we want deep connection, but we're constantly pulled in different directions. She told me that the paradox is that while we assume love is enough, love only thrives when it's expressed, and mattering must be intentional.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Her insight raises an important question. If love thrives when expressed, what happens when it isn't? Albert Einstein knew this feeling well. Before he was one of the greatest scientific minds in history, he was a child who felt invisible. As a boy, Einstein didn't speak fluently until he was almost five years old. His teachers thought he was slow. His classmates ignored him.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey there, passion struck fan. Welcome to episode 582.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Even his parents, though they loved him, worried he would never amount to much. he later recalled that his sense of not mattering shaped him deeply but then something shifted his mother pauline was the first person to truly see him she noticed his fascination with patterns and numbers instead of dismissing his interests as strange She encouraged them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
She gave him a violin, knowing that music had the structure and beauty that soothed him. She fought for his education when schools wanted to turn him away. In his later years, Einstein credited these small but profound moments with changing the course of his life. Because when someone makes us feel like we matter, we rise to that belief. But the opposite is also true.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When people feel unseen, unheard, or dismissed, they shrink. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and best-selling author on the science of happiness, has spent decades studying what makes relationships thrive. When I spoke to him in episode 344, he shared a simple but profound truth. Happiness isn't about eliminating suffering. It's about managing yourself. not managing the outside world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
The happiest people don't wait for life to get easier. They take ownership of their emotions and their relationships. Arthur's insight has powerful implications for families. When a child grows up in a home where they feel seen, not just for what they achieve, but for who they are, they build a strong sense of self-worth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When a spouse feels acknowledged, not just as a partner in logistics, but as a person with dreams, struggles, and emotions, they invest more deeply in the relationship. But the opposite is also true. When children don't feel like they matter, they internalize a message of invisibility. When partners don't feel valued, they stop investing emotionally.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When families prioritize logistics over connection, they slowly drift apart. This isn't about blame. It's about awareness. Because small changes can rebuild what's been lost. I used to believe that love was enough. That if you love someone, your child, your spouse, your parents, they just knew it. That the foundation of family was strong simply because of its existence. Then one day I saw it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
I was sitting in a cafe watching a mother and daughter at the table next to me. The daughter, maybe 12 years old, was animated. Talking fast, her hands moving in the air. She was excited. Maybe about a book she loved, a dream she had. But her mother wasn't looking. She scrolled through her phone, nodding absently. Yeah, honey, that's nice.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
The girl kept talking, but after a while, her voice changed. It got quieter. Then she stopped altogether. It wasn't anger. It wasn't an outburst. It was something sadder. The kind of quiet that signals a door quietly closing. And in that moment, I wondered, how many times had I done that to someone I loved?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
How many times had I been too tired, too distracted, too caught up in my own world to notice when someone needed to feel like they mattered? Families don't fall apart in an instant. They erode in a thousand tiny, unseen moments. But the smallest shift, a look, a pause, a moment of full presence, can bring it back. And this leads me into why families are struggling more than ever.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
It's easy to talk about the importance of connection. It's harder to find the time. Modern life isn't built for presence. It's built for productivity. For many parents, the transition between work and home is instant.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
You shut your laptop or step through the front door, and immediately you're expected to switch gears, going from handling high-stake decisions to handling bedtime routines, from work emails to homework help. I know this because I lived it. As the primary breadwinner, I spent years working high-pressure jobs as a senior executive.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
My days were filled with back-to-back meetings, critical decisions, and the weight of responsibility. But the moment I walked through the door, I wasn't an executive anymore. I was a dad. and my kids needed me. My wife didn't work outside the home, which meant there was an expectation that when I got home, the kids were my responsibility. There was no buffer, no decompression time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this is where we challenge conventional thinking and create lives of impact. Earlier this week, we explore two incredible conversations that reshaped how we think about human potential and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
My head was still filled with work-related problems, but my attention was suddenly required elsewhere. I suspect many families, whether it's one working parent or both, are experiencing some version of this. And even when the workday ends, the distractions don't. There are after-school activities, homework, dinner to be made, emails to check, notifications piling up on our phones.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And when there's finally a moment of stillness, we don't instinctively turn toward each other. We turn toward something easier. Social media, TV, gaming. Not because we don't love our families, but because we are emotionally exhausted. This is the paradox of modern connection. We have more ways than ever to stay in touch. Texting, FaceTime, Slack messages from work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Yet we often feel more emotionally disconnected than ever. And in that constant motion, it's easy to let the small moments of mattering slip away. The good news is that mattering isn't about adding more to our plates. It's about being intentional with what's already there. Dr. Wendy Smith's research on paradoxes offers a key insight. Thriving families don't eliminate tension.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
They learn how to navigate it. That means making mattering a deliberate practice, not just an assumption. Because love is assumed, but mattering must be demonstrated every single day. So this brings us to the science of mattering at home. Before a child steps into a classroom, a friendship, or a romantic relationship, they've already formed an unconscious belief about their worth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And that belief starts at home. Dr. Elisa Pressman, a developmental psychologist and co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, explained in our podcast episode that children build their first blueprint of self-worth through the way they've been seen by their caregivers. It's not just about love. It's about feeling valued.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
This early foundation shapes not only how a child sees themselves, but also how they relate to others for the rest of their lives. Psychologists have long studied how relationships shape our lifelong emotional patterns. Attachment theory, first developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Dr. Mary Answorth, identifies three primary styles of attachment.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
On Tuesday, I sat down with Natalie Namaste, a renowned holistic healer, to explore the power of the solar plexus chakra and how tapping into your inner energy can transform your confidence, relationships, and well-being. Then on Thursday, Dr. Sam Wilkinson joined me to dive into the evolutionary science of purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
First, there's secure attachment, which is where children who consistently feel seen, soothed, and valued grow into adults who trust relationships and express emotions openly. Then there's anxious attachment.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
This is when children experience inconsistent attention, sometimes present, sometimes distracted, and they grow up craving validation, fearing rejection, and struggling with emotional security. And then lastly, there's avoidant attachment. And in this case, a child learns that when emotional bids are ignored or dismissed, they stop expressing their needs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
As adults, they might struggle with intimacy, suppress emotions, or believe they must be self-sufficient to avoid disappointment. The heartbreaking reality? Most parents don't intend to create anxious or avoidant attachment patterns, but it happens. and the moments they don't even notice. A child rushes in with a drawing, excited to share. A parent nods without looking up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Over time, the child stops sharing. A teenage confesses, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. A parent uncomfortable with the vulnerability responds, don't be silly, you have tons of friends. The teen learns their emotions aren't a safe topic. It's never just one moment. It's the accumulation of these moments that writes a child's internal story. I am worth attention, or I am invisible.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
The way a child experiences mattering at home has a ripple effect far beyond childhood. Children who feel seen and valued develop greater resilience, confidence, and emotional intelligence. Children who struggle with their self-worth seek validation in unhealthy ways or end up withdrawing from connection altogether.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
When kids feel acknowledged, not just for what they do but for who they are, they grow into secure, connected adults. But the opposite is also true. When children feel invisible, they internalize that message. When partners feel unacknowledged, they disengage. When families operate on logistics instead of connection, they slowly drift apart. This isn't about guilt. It's about awareness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And the good news? It doesn't take a complete lifestyle overhaul. It takes small, intentional shifts. So here's the real question. What is one moment today where you can make someone in your family... feel like they truly matter. Not just loved, but seen, heard, and valued. Because in the end, families don't thrive on love alone. They thrive on the moments we choose to show it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
And this leads to the hidden metric of a strong family. I believe we measure family success in all the wrong ways. We look at grades. We look at clean schedules. We keep score with to-do lists and packed calendars. We assume that if the household is functioning, the family is thriving. But the real measure of a strong family isn't how well it runs. It's whether everyone in it feels valued.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
how our biology and psychology shape the meaning of our existence, and why free will plays a crucial role in our lives. And today, we're bringing it back to something even more personal, the way we experience connection in our families. At first glance, everything looks fine. A family sharing a meal. A couple sitting together in the same room. Parents checking in with their kids.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Hidden Crisis of Family Mattering—And How to Fix It
Does a child feel seen beyond their report card? Does a spouse feel acknowledged outside of logistical conversations? Does each person in the family believe they matter, not just in theory, but in daily experience? This, I believe, is the missing piece. And if we want to build families that don't just function but truly thrive, we need to shift what we prioritize in our daily interactions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Coming up next on Passion Struck. You work hard. You push yourself. You do everything you're supposed to do. And yet, deep down, something still feels off. Why? Because most of us aren't chasing what sustains us. We're chasing what looks like fulfillment. But in reality, it's just a mirage. We think once we achieve the next big thing, will finally feel whole.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
How to recognize when you're chasing a mirage, the signs that you're stuck in the achievement trap, and the gut check questions that will help you course correct before it's too late. Because if you're caught in the cycle right now, feeling exhausted, disconnected, and constantly striving, the next part is going to hit home.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
So how do you know if you're chasing something that looks like fulfillment but leaves you feeling empty? Here are the signs that you're chasing a mirage. You keep saying, once I get that promotion, once I make six figures, once I prove myself, Then I'll feel like I matter. I'll finally be happy, but it never comes. Another sign is you're exhausted, but you can't stop striving.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
You tell yourself it's just temporary, but somehow it's been years of temporary. Another sign is your relationships are suffering, but you tell yourself it's just for now. You're not as present with your family. You barely see your friends, but you convince yourself that one day you'll get back to them. And then lastly, no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
The goalpost keeps moving. You hit your target, and instead of celebrating, you just raise the bar again and again. I want you to take a deep breath. I want you to be brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself these three questions. Am I pursuing what actually matters? or what I've been conditioned to believe matters?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Did I choose the path I'm on because it aligns with my values, or did I chase it because society, my upbringing, or my peers told me it was the right thing to do? Next, I want you to ask yourself, what am I leaving behind to get to where I'm going? You should be thinking, what have I sacrificed on this path time with my family, my well-being, my relationships, my peace of mind?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And then lastly, is the path leading me to fulfillment or just feeding my ego? So things you could be asking yourself are, am I doing this because it brings me joy and meaning? Or am I just trying to prove something to myself, to others, to the world? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, good, because that's your wake-up call.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
If you're listening right now and your gut is telling you that you're chasing something that won't sustain you, don't ignore it. This is your sign to pause, to reassess, to pivot before the costs get too high. Because the sooner you recognize that you're chasing a mirage, the sooner you can walk away from it. And that is exactly what we're diving into next.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
How to walk away from what's depleting you. How to stop running on the achievement treadmill. And how to start rebuilding your life around what actually sustains you. So now you see it. You recognize the mirage for what it is. You're aware that you've been chasing something that looks like fulfillment, but leaves you feeling empty. Now comes the hard part. What do you do about it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Because knowing the truth is one thing, but actually walking away from what's depleting you? That's the real challenge. This is where everything shifts. The first step to change? Clarity. You can't walk away from something until you name it. So I want you to ask yourself, what is your Moab? What's the thing you're chasing that looks like success but leaves you feeling drained?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
We discussed his latest book, Shift, and how changing the way you talk to yourself can transform your life. Thursday, I had an incredible conversation with Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed podcast. We broke down what it really means to cultivate resilience, build better habits, and create a life aligned with your values. And today, we're taking that conversation a step further.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
What's the goal that you've been running toward, thinking it will make you happy, but deep down it never does? What's the sacrifice you keep making, telling yourself it's just for now, but in reality it's been years? Maybe for you, it's a job title that's taking everything from you but giving nothing back. Hustle culture that makes you feel like you're always behind and never enough.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
A toxic cycle of external validation. constantly checking likes, performance reviews, or approval from others. Or maybe it's the pressure to prove yourself, even at the cost of your relationships and well-being. Because here's the truth, you can't fix what you won't face. So before you can walk away, you need to name it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And once you know what's depleting you, you need to shift your focus toward what actually fills you up. And I'll tell you this, it's never the thing society tells you to chase. It's not the job title. It's not the money. It's not the recognition. It's connection. We talked about this earlier. The Harvard study on happiness proved it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
The number one predictor of long-term fulfillment is an achievement. It's relationships. People with deep, meaningful connections live longer, happier lives. Those who prioritize material success over relationships end up isolated and unfulfilled. But here's the kicker. You can't build meaningful relationships when you're exhausted, burned out, and constantly striving.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Jennifer Wallace said it best in our interview, just as children need to be loved unconditionally, adults also need to be surrounded by people who see them for who they are at their core, beyond their achievements. So ask yourself, who are the people who make you feel seen? Who are the people you've been neglecting because you've been too busy achieving?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
When was the last time you truly showed up for your family, your friendships, your community? Not just physically, but emotionally, because that's where your fulfillment lives. Not in the next big thing, but in the relationships that remind you that you already matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Here's where the real work happens, because if you want to stop chasing a mirage, you have to rewire the belief system that got you here in the first place. And that starts with a mindset shift. Instead of believing success equals worth, Start asking, am I building a life that looks good or one that actually feels good? Am I choosing achievement out of fear or out of alignment?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
What would it look like to define success on my own terms? Because real success isn't about what you accomplish. It's about how aligned you feel when accomplishing it. It's about being present. It's about knowing your worth isn't tied to your productivity. It's about shifting from proving your value to living your value. You don't need to achieve your way to worthiness. You already matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And when you finally internalize that, everything changes. So let's bring this home. You know the mirage exists. You know you've been chasing something that will never fully satisfy you. You know what actually sustains you. And it's not achievement. So here's my challenge to you. What's one small step you can take today to start shifting? Maybe it's finally admitting what your Moab is.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Maybe it's texting a friend you've neglected and saying, hey, I miss you. Maybe it's choosing to leave work on time because your life outside of work matters too. Because big changes start with one decision. And this is your moment. You don't have to wait until burnout, until the wake-up call, until it's too late. You can start walking away from the mirage today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Last week, I talked about something deeply personal, fighting for your soul, and the daily battle to hold on to what truly matters instead of giving it away, piece by piece, to things that don't. And today, we're exposing the biggest reason people lose that fight. Because most people don't even realize that they're chasing the wrong thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
This episode wasn't just about recognizing why we chase things that don't sustain us. It was about giving you the tools to walk away, and now the choice is yours. Will you keep running toward the mirage, or will you start shifting toward what actually sustains you? Because you are not just what you achieve. You are who you show up for. You are the relationships you nurture.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
You are the impact you make on the people around you. And that's what matters most. So here's my challenge to you. What's one thing, one thing you will stop chasing today? What's one small step you will take right now toward what actually fulfills you? Because this is your life, your work. your purpose, and it's waiting for you to take action. Make the choice. Take the step. Start the shift.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Because fulfillment isn't out there in the distance. It's right here, waiting for you to claim it. And that's a wrap on today's episode. But listen, this isn't just another podcast you tune into and forget about. You're here because you're ready to take action. You're ready to fight for what truly matters. And that... fires me up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
If this episode sparked something in you, if it made you pause and rethink what you're chasing, don't let it stop here. Share this episode. Think of someone who needs to hear this. A friend, a colleague, a family member. Be the one who helps them take that first step. Then leave a five-star review. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps bring this message to the people who need it most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And do you want to go even deeper? I don't just talk about these ideas. I bring them to teams, leaders, and organizations around the world. If today's conversation hit home and you think your group could benefit, let's connect. Through keynotes, workshops, and events, I help ignite purpose, focus, and intentionality where it matters most. Head over to johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Next week, I'm sitting down with Dr. Shige Ueshi, one of the world's top researchers on human well-being. We're diving into his new book, Life in Three Dimensions, how curiosity, exploration, and experience make a fuller, better life. And trust me,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
even your success is a little if the desire is small then you could feel good about yourself so here's the deal you're not just consuming content you're investing in yourself and that's what passion struck is all about so take what you learned today apply it and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And remember, the fee for the show is simple.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
If you got value, share it, post it, text it, email it, get it into the hands of someone who needs it. Until next time, keep chasing the stuff that matters. Keep taking bold steps, and as always, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
They think they're chasing fulfillment, but they're actually chasing the mirage of more. The high-paying job that pulls you away from your family. The endless pursuit of success that leaves you feeling empty. The belief that if I just achieve one more thing, I'll finally feel fulfilled. But what if I told you what you're chasing isn't the problem? The problem is it's never going to be enough.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And today we're exposing that illusion. We're talking about why we keep chasing things that don't sustain us, how to recognize when you're caught in the cycle, and most importantly, how to walk away and start building a life that actually fulfills you. But before we dive in, if you're new here, welcome. Passion Struck is more than just a podcast. It's a movement.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
With over 570 episodes, we've built a community dedicated to unlocking human potential and creating lives of impact. but I know it can be overwhelming to know where to start. That's why we've created Episode Starter Packs, curated playlists designed to help you dive into topics like mindset, resilience, and leadership.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
You can find them at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or directly on Spotify. Want even more? Subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. Every week I send out tips, challenges, and tools to help you crush it in every area of your life. And if you haven't subscribed to the YouTube channel yet, what are you waiting for?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Head over there for highlights, behind the scenes content, and more. Now, let's dive into today's discussion. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. You're lost in the desert. The sun is blazing. Your throat is parched. And every step feels heavier than the last.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
But just like a mirage in the desert, the moment we reach what we thought was our destination, the goalpost moves again. And that's why today's episode is so crucial. Because if you don't recognize the mirage, you'll spend your life running towards something That was never real in the first place. Let's get into it. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And then you see it. An oasis in the distance. Water. Relief. Your body surges forward. Because finally, you're about to quench your thirst. But when you arrive, the water is gone. It was never real. That right there is exactly how most of us live our lives. We chase success, achievement, and validation, believing that once we arrive, we'll finally feel fulfilled.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Once I get the promotion, I'll feel valued. Once I hit this salary, I'll feel secure. Once I prove myself, I'll finally feel like I matter. But just like a mirage, the goalposts keep moving. And this isn't just happening in our jobs. The disconnection is everywhere. In our homes, families sit in the same room but barely speak, each lost in their own digital world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
In our schools, students feel unseen. Their worth tied to grades and test scores rather than who they really are. In our communities, loneliness is rising. despite being more connected than ever before. In our friendships, people struggle to feel truly known, unsure if anyone would even notice if they disappeared.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
We're chasing something, some next level, some next achievement, thinking it will complete us. And one day, we wake up and realize we built a life that looks good on the outside but feels empty on the inside. So today, I have one simple question for you. Are you chasing something real or are you just running toward a mirage?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Because if you feel exhausted, disconnected, and like no matter how much you achieve, it's never enough, today's episode is for you. So if the mirage is everywhere, if we're chasing something that never truly satisfies, Why do we keep running toward it? The reason is because we've been sold the illusion of more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
For centuries, humans have told stories about seeking abundance and ending up with less. And one of the most powerful examples? The story of Moab. There's an old story about a woman named Naomi. She and her family left their home Bethlehem in search of more. More security. More opportunity. more prosperity. And so they set out for Moab, a land that seemed full of promise. But Moab didn't deliver.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Instead of abundance, Naomi found loss, grief, and disconnection. And eventually, she turned back. She realized she had been chasing a future that looked good from a distance, but wasn't where she truly belonged. Now, whether or not you've ever heard this story before doesn't matter because the lesson, it's timeless. It's not just an ancient story. It's my story.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And if you're really honest with yourself, it might be your story too. Maybe you've had a moment like this. You were in a great place, a job, a community, a season of life that felt stable. But something inside of you started whispering, this isn't enough. And then, out of nowhere, an opportunity appeared. A promotion, a move, a chance for more. It looked like progress.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
But deep down, you had this gut feeling. What am I about to trade? That's exactly where I found myself. Let me take you back to a moment in my life where I stood at my own crossroads, my own Moab moment. I had everything that should have felt right. I was an executive at Lowe's, doing work that mattered. But beyond that, my family and I had built something real. A strong community around us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
A church family that gave us purpose. A neighborhood full of friends. You know, the kind where you borrow sugar from your neighbor and watch each other's kids. Our children were well-adjusted, thriving in their environment. But then I hit a wall. I wasn't satisfied in my work life. I had just been told that the promotion I had been working toward for so long wasn't going to happen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And then the opportunity came. A dream role at Dell, the kind of job that looked perfect on paper. More money, more prestige, a bigger title. It was everything I thought I wanted. But to take it, I would have to walk away from everything we had built. And at the time, I convinced myself it was worth it. But once we got there, everything changed. We lost our strong community overnight.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Our church family was gone. We had to start all over. Our children struggled to adjust. We moved to a neighborhood where houses were far apart. So far, we barely knew our neighbors. And despite all the money, the title, and the prestige, I felt completely disconnected. It didn't take long to realize I had traded meaning for a mirage. I thought I was stepping into something better.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
But in reality, I had walked away from what actually sustained me. And that's when it hit me. Moab promises more, but it delivers less. So let me ask you this, where is your Moab? What's the thing you're chasing that seems like it will bring you fulfillment but is actually pulling you away from the things that truly matter? Is it the career that looks impressive but makes you miserable?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Is it the comparison loop that keeps you feeling like you're always behind? Is it the constant busyness? that makes you feel productive, but leaves you emotionally drained. Because, just like Naomi, you don't have to stay in Moab. The moment you recognize that you're chasing a mirage, you can choose a different path. Now maybe you're sitting there thinking, I hear you. Why do I keep doing this?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Why do I keep chasing something I know won't fulfill me? Well, that's exactly what we're talking about next. Because if the mirage is everywhere, we need to ask, why do we keep falling for it? We're diving into the false promise of achievement. While society convinces us that external success leads to happiness, and why that promise never quite delivers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Stick with me, because this next part, it might just change the way you see success forever. So if we know this, if we know that more doesn't always mean better, why do we still chase it? Why do we keep striving for the next promotion, the next title, the next level, even when we know deep down it won't fulfill us? Because we've been wired to believe the lie.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
The lie that achievement equals fulfillment. The lie that if we can just reach the next milestone, we'll finally feel enough. The lie that success is what makes life meaningful. But let me tell you something, that promise, it never delivers. From the moment that we're kids, we're told, get good grades. You'll feel smart. Get into a top school. You'll be set for life. Land a prestigious job.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
You'll finally feel accomplished. Make a certain amount of money. You'll feel secure. And so we learn that our worth is tied to what we do. But here's what happens. We achieve the thing. We feel good for a moment. And then the goalpost moves. You get the promotion. but now you're chasing the next one. You buy the dream house, but now you need to furnish it perfectly.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
You hit your income goal, but now someone else is making more. And suddenly, it's not enough anymore. That's the trap. You never actually arrive because the bars keep moving. This isn't just something we experience as individuals. It's something we're passing down to our kids, creating a culture where nothing is ever enough. I had the chance to interview Jennifer Wallace in episode 335.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Jennifer is an award-winning journalist and author of Never Enough, When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic and What We Can Do About It. And in her interview, she put it perfectly.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey there, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 570. I am so fired up you're here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
She said, the most surprising thing I found in my research was that when you have a child in distress, the number one intervention, according to decades of resilience research, is making sure the primary caregivers, most often the parents, have their well-being intact. Why? Because a child's resilience rests fundamentally on a parent's resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And a parent's resilience, it rests on the depth and nurturing of their relationships. But let's be real. How many adults actually have deep, meaningful relationships that sustain them? Jennifer went on to say, parents spend eight, nine, ten hours a day at work. where they feel like they don't matter. They don't have a voice. They're afraid they'll be the next layoff.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
They're not recognized for their contributions. And then they come home completely depleted, expected to be the first responders to their kids' distress. But how do we show up for our kids when we have nothing left to give? And here's the gut punch. We have prioritized what researchers call materialistic goals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
career success, financial status, over intrinsic goals, like strong relationships and a sense of belonging. And it's failing us. This isn't just about our careers. It's about what we're modeling for the next generation. Our kids aren't learning that they matter for who they are. They're learning that their worth is contingent on their performance.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
They are watching us hustle, grind, sacrifice connection for success, and then we wonder why they feel lost. Jennifer's research found that young people, 18 to 30-year-olds, describe their lives as feeling meaningless. One young man she interviewed devoted his entire childhood to getting into an Ivy League school. He got in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And then he dropped out, completely burned out, because his entire identity had been built on external achievement. And when he finally arrived, he realized he had no idea who he actually was. We're raising a generation of young people who don't know themselves because we don't give them the space to figure it out. This isn't just psychology.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
It's backed by the longest-running study on human happiness ever conducted, the Harvard Study of Adult Development. For 85 years, researchers tracked the lives of thousands of people from their teenage years all the way into old age to answer one question. What actually makes life fulfilling? And the answer?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
wasn't wealth it wasn't success it wasn't status the number one predictor of happiness health and longevity was strong relationships people with deep connections lived longer healthier and happier lives those who felt isolated and disconnected had higher rates of depression anxiety and even physical illness
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
And here's the shocking part, something I learned from Julianne Holt-Lunstead, who's an expert in social connection and health and a professor of psychology and neuroscience. Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That's how essential mattering is. So why do we keep chasing external success
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
when internal connection is what truly sustains us, because we're conditioned to believe the lie. No matter how much you achieve, if you sacrifice what actually sustains you, it will never be enough. So now that we see the mirage for what it is, the real question becomes, how do you know when you're caught in it? Because let's be honest,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this space is about you. It's where we take on big ideas, make bold moves, and create lives that truly matter. If you weren't here earlier in the week, we had two incredible conversations. On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Ethan Cross, one of the world's leading experts on self-talk. and the Power of Inner Dialogue.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mirage of Success: Why More Is Never Enough | EP 570
We don't always realize we're chasing something that won't sustain us. At first, it feels like progress. It feels like success. It feels necessary until one day you wake up and realize you've been running full speed towards something that was never real. That's what we're talking about next.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
It gets even worse than that. The belonging barometer, which is created by the American Immigration Council, recently published that 64% of workers in the United States don't feel like they are seen or they belong in the workplace. And the studies on loneliness are showing that 54% of people feel lonely at some point. These to me are symptomatic of a bigger issue that's going on.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Christy is a globally respected leadership advisor, former managing principal at Deloitte, and has worked with iconic companies like Apple, Accenture, and more. Her insights have been featured in Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, and Forbes, and today she brings her powerful perspective to PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And the world right now is facing division, as you brought up. It's facing a whole shift in how we're working, how we're communicating with people. And a lot of what your book speaks to ties very closely with the work of Edward Deasy and Richard Ryan's self-determination theory, where they found that intrinsic motivation really was dependent on autonomy, mastery, and connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
So very much coincides with the four things in your book. But I think we are overbalancing on agency at the expense of connection in some ways. And where I'm going with this is if you think about work for the past hundreds of years, Many people found their best friends at work. Many people got married because of a work environment. There was like a family.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
So work in many ways, people would stay, like my grandfather was at Kraft for 40 years. He worked with the same people for decades and decades. If you think about how humans grew up, we really started in small groups or villages. And for many, the work environment was another extension of that village.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And people in your work environment, because they stayed in the same company for so many years, cared about you. There was this feeling that you belonged. And Now, it's almost like being a professional athlete where people are just leaving jobs at the highest bidder and we've lost this connection and the village is evolving so much that
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
you don't have that same feel and you couple that with the outsourcing that's going on and then the post pandemic restructuring of the whole workforce and the village is gone. It's now become a global village. So I put that all as a backdrop
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
For the demands that are put on leaders today, it is so different from when I was leading teams at Lowe's and Dell, when we were dealing with offshoring, but we still had a huge amount of workers who were there. How does a leader start to approach this? Because when you think about it, it's just staggering what they're having to jump into these days.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
In this conversation, we explore how to lead with intentionality, empathy, and authentic power, even in a world that feels increasingly disconnected. We dig into why soft skills are actually power skills and how to develop them, how distributed teams and AI are challenging everything we know about leadership. We go into the new pillars of human-centered organizations,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
trust, well-being, and psychological safety, and how to create environments where people truly matter and thrive because of it. Christy doesn't just talk about theory. She brings real-world strategies for building purpose-driven cultures that adapt, inspire, and endure. But before we dive in, let's reflect on the interviews from earlier this week here on PassionStruck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Chrissy, thank you for bringing that up. And I'm not sure what your experience was like, but when I was at Dell, the way that they operated was we had to have at least 12 direct reports and they typically wanted 16. And I remember I just got to this point where everything that I was doing was either, like you're talking about, looking at output, dealing with HR issues or dealing with
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
the politics that were happening because we had forced rankings so you knew 20 of the people that you were working with were going to be gone including the leaders you were working with it just made it so difficult to find any time to truly be present and i found one of the most important
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
things I learned from being in the military was the greatest leaders speak with their feet and they are on the floor. They are interacting with the front lines. They're getting a pulse of everyone from the lowest person in the organization to the highest and understanding what the pulse of the organization is like.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And so what I have been calling for, because most of my life I was a servant leader and I don't think it suits the environment today is something I call a gardener leader, which is very similar to what you're talking about. Meaning similar to a gardener, you have to really nurture your crops, but you can't expect to stand over them all times. So I really call this eyes on, but hands off and, uh,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
On Tuesday, I was joined by Dr. Tasha Yorick to explore her brand-new book, Shatterproof, a deeply insightful roadmap on how to move beyond grit and build true resilience. Then on Thursday, Dr. Gregory Walton shared the science of belonging, ordinary magic, and how small acts can create seismic change in our lives, classrooms, and communities.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
key component of this is you got to inspire your people through a noble mission, what you were talking about with purpose. You have to put the team first at all costs. But one of the most important thing is you need to be ambitious. A leader in the future cannot have an ego or you're just going to go to the wayside. So I love what you're saying there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
So thank you for creating this new model because I completely agree with it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
It really is a fundamental shift. And I'm not sure if you've heard of, I think that it's called the B team. It's this organization that Sir Richard Branson was forming. Mark Benioff is one of the people on it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And what they were trying to do is to get the leaders of the biggest companies to stop making shareholder value and top line, bottom line, the major metrics that were governing whether a company was successful or not. So that sounds like it aligns with what you're saying.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Well, I would agree with that. And I hope companies go that way because as those who are public, it is quarter by quarter and it's very difficult to get that out of the environment, which is why when I got involved in private equity, I liked working in that environment better because it tended to be
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
even though they were looking at a shorter duration, it tended to be longer term thinking because you weren't held to the same market demands.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And if you're new to the podcast, we've created episode starter packs to help you dive deeper, exploring curated themes like emotional resilience, personal mastery, and intentional leadership. You can find those on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
want more tools to grow intentionally be sure to sign up for my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com and if you'd rather watch today's conversation check out our growing community on youtube now let's dive into this powerful conversation on what it means to lead and live with humanity at the core here's my discussion with dr christy smith thank you for choosing passionstruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life now let that journey begin
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Couldn't agree more. So Christy, I had the privilege over the past couple of years of interviewing Gary Vaynerchuk and Claude Silver. And I'm not sure if you're familiar with Claude Silver, but as far as I know, when Gary created the position of chief heart officer, I think she was the first one ever in that position.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And to me, I have always felt when I would look at the chief human resources officer, I thought that there were two different types. And I might be unfair when I say this, but there was the one type who really was all about what the book said you should do, a focus on numbers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
I am so excited today to have Dr. Christy Smith on PassionStruck. Welcome Christy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Well, as you and I were getting to know each other a little bit before the episode, I think we felt like kindred spirits. We both spent time in management consulting and in big four accounting firms and in tech companies. So we have an overlap in our backgrounds.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
It is very surprising, in fact. I know you do a ton of work in DEI and you have seen the transformation that's occurred over the past decade. What do you think are some of the brightest spots on the horizon?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Where does this next generation focus their skill set so that they don't feel they're going to become obsolete? And I would throw that over to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
I think this goes hand in hand with an interview I did with Professor Emma Sapella, where she really talked about we need to really think about how technology can connect us or disconnect us and really focus on how it connects us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Now, the last question I wanted to ask you, and I'm going to go back to your book, is you write in the end, we must honor our people by recognizing what we covered today. that purpose, agency, well-being, and connection are not just encouraged but required for the future of business. It is in these environments that workers thrive, innovation flourishes, and organizational goals
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
are met with unprecedented success. So my question to you would be, if that's the goal of the book, what is a step that a listener today can do to further them on this mission?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Christy, thank you so much for spending your time with me today and for you and your co-author coming out with this amazing book. Where are the best places that people can learn more about you and what you're up to?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Well, Christy, thank you so much. It was such an honor and you've had such an amazing career. So I feel very fortunate to have you on the show today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Dr. Christy Smith. Her insights on human powered leadership offer a refreshing and much needed perspective in today's world of work. From redefining soft skills as power skills to cultivating purpose and connection in distributed teams, Christy's wisdom provides a powerful framework for transforming the workplace and ourselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
As we wrap up, take a moment to reflect on some of the key takeaways from today's episode. How can you bring more humanity into your leadership or interactions? What steps can you take to create environments of trust, psychological safety, and growth? And how can we as individuals and leaders foster connection and purpose in an increasingly digital and fragmented world?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
If this conversation resonated with you, I'd be honored if you left a five-star rating and review. Your support helps grow this movement and ensures that more people can discover these life-changing insights. All the resources we discussed today, including Christie's new book, Essential, are available in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Want to dive even deeper?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Watch the full video version of this episode on the John R. Miles YouTube channel and be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss a moment. And if you're looking to bring these insights into your team, organization, or event, visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn how we can collaborate to drive intentional change together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Coming up next on Passion Struck, I sit down with the one and only Humble the Poet to discuss his newest book, Unanxious, and how overachievers can finally feel less stress and more calm. We explore identity, letting go of pressure, and why peace is found not in perfection, but in presence. You won't want to miss this conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Thank you for being part of the Passion Struck community. Your commitment to growth, to intentional living, and to making what matters truly matter inspires me every single day. And remember, the fee for this show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Until next time, live life Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
So today we are going to be discussing your book, Essential, which congratulations on its release. I know what it's like to put one of these in the world. You must at this point be a little bit nervous and in full relief.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Well, it's fantastic. You got endorsements from Adam Grant and many other leaders, lots of great names associated with it to help bolster its success. Congratulations on that as well. So your book is really exploring this whole idea of human powered leadership. And I asked you that question on DEI to start out on purpose because I think the two intersect and I wanted to get your ideas on that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 594.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
It's interesting. I came out with a book last year myself, and I opened it up in many of the same ways. I was talking about this thing that I found called social cycle theory, where history tends to repeat itself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
I feel we are doing this major change where for a long time people have worked in these big companies, but now people are waking up to the fact of how disposable they are and AI and other things are only making that come about in a quicker way. And so I projected that more and more people were going to become independent operators, akin to what a blacksmith was or a printer back in the day.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
But now they're going to be using digital skills to do the same thing. And I don't think companies or governments are prepared for this onslaught of change that's coming. And so I completely agree with you that leadership is going to take on a completely different dimension. Is that pretty consistent to what you're seeing?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Not only does it require a different type of leadership, but it requires us as individuals to to maximize the one gift that I think that separates us from everyone else. And that is we were built to become the ultimate learning machine. And I think,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
it is important, regardless of what age you are, but especially for the younger generations, like my son who's 26 and my daughter who's soon to be 21, coming into the workforce to realize they're gonna have to reinvent themselves countless time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
And the only way to stay ahead of this onslaught is to learn to become someone who is capable of learning new things all the time and staying ahead of the curve. Which means if you're a leader, You've got to do that and then learn how to lead those people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
Whether you've been with us for a while or you're tuning in for the first time, I am absolutely thrilled you're here. You're now part of a global movement dedicated to igniting purpose, unlocking potential, and creating a more intentional human-powered future. So let me ask you this. What if the greatest disruption in business isn't AI, it's a crisis of human connection?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
I think that is a great setup for this deeper discussion in humanity and leadership. Because what you're arguing is that it's essential to save the workplace. So I think where we need to begin this discussion is what does humanity and leadership look like? And how is it different from leadership in the past?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Christie Smith on How to Embrace Human-Powered Leadership | EP 594
What if the leadership skills we once dismissed as soft are now the most essential powers for thriving in a fractured, fast-changing world? That's exactly what today's guest, Dr. Christy Smith, unpacks in her groundbreaking new book, Essential, how distributed teams, generative AI, and global shifts are creating a new human-powered leadership.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Coming up next on Passion Struck. Most people don't even realize they're losing this battle. Every single day, the world is pulling you further away from what actually matters. And if you're not fighting for your soul, you're giving it away. So how do you take it back? How do you stop drifting and reclaim your purpose before it's too late? That's exactly what I'm breaking down today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
even if you stop people pleasing there's another trap waiting for you you can break free from seeking external validation only to spend your life chasing the wrong goals because here's the real danger when you spend your life trying to prove yourself to others you stop asking what actually matters to you you work harder push further and chase more more success more money more achievement
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
But at the end of it all, does it actually make you happy? This is what Dr. Arthur Brooks, one of the world's leading experts on happiness and success, calls the success trap, where you spend your whole life climbing the wrong mountain only to reach the top and feel completely empty.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Arthur is a Harvard professor, best-selling author, and one of the most respected voices on what actually makes people happy. And when we spoke about his book, Strength to Strength, in episode 272, he hit me with a truth bomb. that I need you to hear. He who dies with the most toys dies. The question isn't, can you take it with you? Because you can't. But so many people act like they can.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
oh and don't miss my live intentionally newsletter every week i send out tips challenges and tools to help you crush it in every area of your life and if you haven't subscribed to the youtube channels yet what are you waiting for head over there for highlights behind the scenes and so much more before we dive in let me catch you up on what's been happening this week on tuesday i sat down with my friend dr dave vago a leading neuroscientist and expert on mindfulness
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
They keep running on this treadmill, craving the next success, the next achievement, the next big win. But it never satisfies. Think about that. How much of your life have you been chasing the next thing? Telling yourself, once I get this, then I'll be happy. Here's the real problem. You spend years chasing goals that look good on paper but feel hollow in reality.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
You climb to the top of the ladder only to realize it was leaning against the wrong wall. Arthur explains that the reason for this is simple. Your brain is wired to keep you chasing, not to keep you satisfied. Here's what Arthur told me. Dopamine. The same neuromodulator that fuels addiction is what drives success addiction too.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
It keeps you wanting more, but it never actually lets you feel satisfied. That's why you can accomplish everything you ever wanted and still feel like something is missing. So let me ask you, are you chasing what actually fulfills you or just what looks good to other people? Success isn't the same as fulfillment. Achievement isn't the same as purpose. And more isn't the same as meaning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And Arthur Brooks says the happiest people have three things. Enjoyment, satisfaction, purpose. Not just success. So if you feel like you're grinding endlessly and still feeling empty, maybe it's time to stop asking how to be more successful and start asking what actually matters. But here's the problem.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Once you realize you're chasing the wrong goals, there's something even more dangerous waiting for you, fear. What if I walk away from this path and regret it? What if I fail? What if I never figure out what actually fulfills me? And this is where most people get stuck. You realize you're chasing the wrong thing, but you're too afraid to climb back down and find the right mountain.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And that's exactly what Angela Duckworth, best-selling author of Grit, has spent her entire career studying. Angela told me that people think success is about talent, but the real secret? It's about grit, the ability to push through discomfort, even when it's hard.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
In our interview, Angela told me fear keeps people trapped in their comfort zones because they think failure means they're not good enough. But real success, the kind that actually matters, only happens when you build the grit to push through fear. And this is why so many people stay stuck in the wrong life. Not because they aren't capable, but because they aren't willing to be uncomfortable.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And the truth is, if you want to break free, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. But here's the problem. Most people don't know how to push through fear. They get overwhelmed, they freeze, and they end up doing nothing. And this is where BJ Fogg, a leading behavioral scientist, has a game-changing insight. BJ Fogg's research proves that fear thrives on overwhelm.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
When a challenge feels too big, your brain shuts down. But if you start small, like ridiculously small, the fear starts to fade. As BJ told me in our interview, the way to get unstuck isn't to take massive action. It's to start ridiculously small. Fear is a survival response. But when you take even one tiny step, your brain realizes, oh...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
This isn't as scary as I thought, and that's how momentum starts. So, if fear is holding you back, the solution isn't waiting to feel ready. It's taking one small step today. That's how you stop staying small. That's how you step into something bigger. That's how you fight for your soul.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And this, this is exactly what Jesus meant when he said in Matthew 16 26, What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? The harder we cling to control, validation, and achievement, the more we lose ourselves, the more we chase shallow distractions, the emptier we feel.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
to talk about the mind-body connection, how mindfulness rewires the brain, and the neuroscience of mattering. On Thursday, I had an incredible conversation with Francesca Sipma about breathwork, trauma healing, and how you can tap into your subconscious to unlock your full potential. And today, we're getting into something even bigger.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And this is why we have to fight, because the alternative is slowly losing ourselves without even realizing it. So now the question is, how do we take our soul back? How do we fight for it? That's exactly what we're about to break down next. So, so far we've talked about what's pulling you away from your soul, the distraction, the validation traps, the fear that keeps you small.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Now we're stepping into the fight because purpose isn't something you stumble upon. It's something you win through daily choices. This is what I talk about all the time on this podcast, your micro choices. Let's start with this truth. Most people lose this battle without even realizing that they're fighting one.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Not because they're weak, not because they're incapable, but because they never understood what they were up against. If you've ever felt like you were drifting, if you've ever looked around at your life and thought, how did I even get here? If you've ever wondered why no amount of success
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
validation or achievement actually fills the emptiness inside there's a reason for that and science proves it let's start with carl jung who spent his entire career studying identity and he made a mind-blowing discovery we all have two selves the authentic self the real you the version of you that's aligned fulfilled and deeply connected to your purpose and then we also have the false self
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
The version of you shaped by fear, expectations, and external validation. The one that's chasing approval instead of meaning. Every time you choose comfort over courage, every time you play small to fit in, every time you silence your gut to avoid judgment, you're strengthening the false self. The problem? Most people aren't even aware they're doing it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And if you don't actively fight for your authentic self, you unconsciously default to the false self. which means the real you, the one that wants more, the one that craves purpose, it slowly disappears. This is why you feel lost. Not because you're broken, but because you've been living someone else's story. And that's only part of the problem.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Now let's talk about why it's so freaking hard to fight for what matters. Have you ever felt mentally drained by the end of the day, even if you didn't do anything meaningful? Have you ever felt like you just can't focus on what actually matters? That's not a personal failure. That's science working against you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Roy Baumeister's groundbreaking study on willpower changed everything we know about decision-making. Here's what he discovered. Willpower is a limited resource. Every decision you make drains it. The more unnecessary decisions you make, the less energy you have left for what actually matters. And this is why we're losing the battle for our souls.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Because every single day, we're making hundreds of tiny, meaningless decisions what to scroll, what to check, what to respond to, what to post. By the time we get to the things that actually matter, our purpose, our goals, our families, our soul, we're too exhausted to fight for them. And if you don't control your attention, someone else will. So let's put this together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
This is a Momentum Friday episode, and you're about to hear something that might change your life. Because if you don't fight for your soul right now, you're losing it. You don't even realize it's happening, but every single day, the world is pulling you away from what truly matters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Carl Jung proves that we default to a false self when we're not intentional. Baumeister proves that our energy is being drained by distractions. And now research from Japan gives us a model for how to get that energy back. This is where the concept of ikigai comes in. The Japanese call it reason for being, and it's about aligning your energy with what actually fulfills you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Imagine if every decision you made fueled you instead of drained you. Imagine if your work Your goals. Your daily actions actually made you feel more alive. That's what Ikigai is all about. And that's exactly what we're fighting for. Because if you don't claim this for yourself, the world will claim it for you. Here's the deal. You don't need to just find your purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
You don't just stumble into meaning. You have to fight for it. You have to wake up every single day and choose to fight for your focus, fight for your time, fight for your energy, fight for your soul. And if you don't, if you don't fight for what matters, distraction wins. Fear wins. The world wins, and that's why we need to have a game plan, a system, a framework. This is the fight framework.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
This is how you take your soul back. Five steps, five daily choices, five ways to make sure that you're fighting for the right things. And here's how it works. Listen up. Fight. Each letter stands for a decision that you have to make every single day. Let's break it down. F is for face the truth. Step 1. You have to face the truth. Because you can't fight for something you don't even understand.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Here's what you need to get real about. What do you actually stand for? What actually matters to you? Not what looks good. Not what people expect. But what is real for you? Because if you don't define your values, the world will define them for you. And you will wake up one day living someone else's life. So here's an action step that you can take. Write down your three values.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Not the ones that sound impressive. The ones that actually feel true. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. This is the first battle. Face the truth. Then there's I. Identify the noise. Now, once you know what matters, you have to protect it. And that means step two, cut the noise. Every unnecessary decision you make is draining your energy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Every useless notification, every random scroll, every email that doesn't matter, it's stealing your ability to focus. I talked about this in last week's episode. Roy Baumeister proved it. Every decision you make depletes your willpower. And by the time you get to the things that actually matter, you're exhausted.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And if you're not intentional, if you don't take back control, if you don't make the conscious choice to fight back, you'll wake up one day wondering, How did I even get here? Nearly everyone believes that success, productivity, and achievement are what drive us forward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
so what are you going to do about it your brain is a weapon but only if you stop letting distractions hijack it so here's an action step you can take identify one just one distraction that you will eliminate today you want to get your power back start here take your attention back and this leads us to g grow through discomfort okay so now you've cleared out the distractions
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Great, but here's where most people quit. Because let's be real, growth isn't fun, it's uncomfortable, it's messy, it's hard. And this leads us to step three, do the hard thing. Angela Duckworth's research proves it. The number one predictor of success is not talent, it's grit. And grit isn't built by doing the hard things when you don't feel like it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
You don't grow in the easy moments, you grow when it sucks. So here's an action step. Pick one thing you've been avoiding and do it today. If it makes you uncomfortable, good. That's where the magic happens. And this leads us to H, harness inner strength. All right, here's where everything starts to click. Step four, find your reason for being.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Because if you don't have a reason for what you're doing, you will burn out. This is where ikigai comes in. In Japan, ikigai means reason for being. Studies show that people who have ikigai live longer, are happier, and have more resilience. The happiest, most fulfilled people aren't the richest or most successful. They're the ones who are living in alignment with what actually matters to them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
But purpose isn't found. It's chosen. And here's an action step you can take. Ask yourself, if I had to spend the rest of my life doing one thing that truly mattered to me, what would it be? Stop waiting to feel ready. Pick something, commit to it, and build your life around what actually fuels you. And then lastly, T, take daily action. The final step, and this is where most people get it wrong,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
They think purpose is a one-time decision. No, it's a daily choice. Step five, repeat every single day. This is not a one-time choice. This is not something that you do just once and forget about it. Neuroscience proves it. Your brain is constantly rewiring itself. Every time that you choose meaning over distraction, the neural pathway gets stronger.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
We've built our lives around the idea that if we just do more, earn more, and achieve more, we'll finally feel happy and fulfilled. But the truth? The harder we push ourselves to achieve, the more disconnected we become. From ourselves, from others, and from the world around us. The problem isn't that we're striving for success.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Over time, purpose and focus stop being a struggle. They become second nature. Your soul isn't won in a single moment. It's won through thousands of small intentional choices. So here's an action step. Set a non-negotiable five-minute action you will take every day. No excuses. You don't wait to feel ready. You act and the motivation follows. And here's a final challenge.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
What will you fight for today? So now you have the battle plan. You know how this fight works. The question is, are you actually going to step into it? Because this isn't just about knowing the information. This isn't just about understanding why you've been stuck. This is about what you do next. So here's the deal. We've walked through the entire FITE framework.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
This battle, it's not just about productivity, success, or focus. It's deeper than that. It's about your soul. And this isn't a new fight. This has been the struggle for generations. Even Jesus warned us about it in Matthew 16, 26. What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your own soul? Think about that. You can have it all.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Status, money, success. But if you lose your soul, your very self in the process, what's the point? That's why this fight matters. Because the world will pull you in a thousand directions. It will sell you on distractions. It will make you believe that chasing more is the goal. But Jesus makes it clear. It's your soul that's at stake. So here's my challenge to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
What's one thing, one thing you will fight for today? What's one step that you will take right now? Because this is your life, your work, your purpose, and it's waiting for you to take action. Make the choice, take the step, start the fight because your soul is worth it. And that's a wrap on today's episode. But listen, this isn't just another podcast you can tune into and forget about.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
You're here because you're ready to take action. You're ready to fight for what truly matters. And that fires me up. If this episode sparked something in you, if it made you pause and rethink what you're chasing, don't let it stop here. Here's what you can do right now. Leave a five-star review. It takes 30 seconds, and it helps bring this message to the people who need it most.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
But more importantly, share this episode. Think about someone who needs to hear this. A friend, a colleague, a family member. Be the one who helps them take that first step. Want to go even deeper? I don't just talk about these ideas on the podcast. I bring them to teams, leaders, and organizations around the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
If today's conversation hit home and you think your group could benefit, let's connect. Through keynotes, workshops, and events, I help ignite purpose, focus, and intentionality where it matters most. Head over to johnrmiles.com speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
It's that we've lost the foundation that makes success meaningful, our sense of mattering. Without it, success becomes hollow. Productivity becomes burnout. Achievement becomes meaningless.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Next week, I am sitting down with Ethan Cross, who I mentioned earlier in the episode, one of the world's leading experts on the science of self-talk. We're diving into his new book, Shift. And trust me, this is a conversation that will change the way you think about the voice inside your head.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Here's the deal. You're not just consuming content when you're listening to this podcast. You're investing in yourself. And that's what PassionStruck is all about. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you got value, share it, post it, text it, email it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Get it into the hands of someone who needs it. Until next time, keep chasing the stuff that matters. Keep taking bold steps, and as always, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
and that's exactly why we need to have this conversation right now this brings us to the biggest lie we've been sold we've been told that success equals fulfillment that if we just chase the promotion make more money achieve more be more do more if we check all the right boxes if we gain the whole world we'll finally feel like we've made it
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
let's get real how many people do you know who have it all and yet still feel empty we're achieving but we're not fulfilled we're successful on the outside but lost on the inside and here's a truth bomb for you success without meaning is just distraction dressed up as achievement and that brings me to something that hit me hard last week
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
I was sitting in Countryside Church in Clearwater on Sunday, listening to a sermon series on things worth fighting for. And at first, I'm just there, you know, taking it like usual. And then, bam! Something hit me so hard, I felt like the pastor was speaking directly to me. You know that moment when something just smacks you in the face, It makes you think, oh crap, I need to hear this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
That was me. What hit me hard? The pastor was talking about what's worth fighting for. And I started to think about it. We fight for so many things in life. We fight for success. We fight to be liked. We fight to keep up. But do we ever stop and ask ourselves, what is actually worth fighting for? And then it hit me. There is nothing more worth fighting for than your soul. Nothing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Because if we don't fight for our souls, we're giving them away, piece by piece, moment by moment, to things that don't even matter. And I know I'm not the only one who needs to hear this. Let's get brutally honest right now. How many of you feel like you're just going through the motions? Like you're doing everything right on paper, but deep down, you feel off?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Like life is happening to you instead of you actually living it. That's when I knew I had to talk about this. Because if you're not actively fighting for your soul, you are losing it. So let's get real. How do we lose the fight for our souls? And more importantly, how do we take it back? We're breaking it down next.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Let's talk about how we lose the fight for our souls because it's happening every single day. And the worst part, most of us don't even see it. We don't wake up one day and suddenly feel like we've lost ourselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
It happens slowly, one distraction at a time, one compromise at a time. one excuse at a time. Until, before we even realize it, we've drifted so far from who we truly are that we don't even recognize ourselves anymore. I know this because it happened to me. I didn't wake up one day and suddenly feel lost. That's not how disconnection works.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
It's not some dramatic moment where alarms go off and flashing lights warn you, hey, you're losing yourself. No. Disconnection is quiet. It's subtle. It creeps in. At first, you barely even notice it. And then, one day, you wake up and it's everywhere. That's exactly what happened to me. I had just stepped into a bigger role, a job that felt more like climbing Everest than a promotion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
I was now responsible for overseeing a $1.3 billion budget. leading teams responsible for software development, innovation, and data architecture. It was the kind of job that demanded everything and left nothing behind. But this isn't just about my role, and that's not why I'm talking about it. It's about yours too.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey there, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 567. I am so fired up you're here.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Maybe you're the call center worker fielding yet another angry customer, or the nurse finishing a double shift, your feet aching from hours on the floor. Maybe you're the professor standing before a lecture hall, wondering if your words will ever make a difference, or the parent juggling deadlines and dinner, barely catching your breath before the next demand.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Whatever your world looks like, maybe you know the feeling, the grind, the endless push to do more, be more, deliver more, until one day the work that once gave you purpose, start stealing pieces of you instead. At first, I thought I was fine. I was too busy putting out fires, building strategies, and convincing myself that this was just the cost of being successful. I poured myself into my work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
I showed up early. I stayed late. I measured my worth and emails answered and projects completed. But slowly, the cracks began to show. The work that used to energize me now felt like it was draining me dry. The spark.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
once had for my career for my life was fading and it wasn't just at work the disconnection followed me home my kids nine and three at the time were full of life but i was too drained to notice i'd sit with them on the couch physically present but emotionally miles away and even when i was with them my mind was still at work scrolling through the to-do list and unfinished tasks
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
looking back i can see it for what it was a quiet unraveling of my soul and here's the truth if you're not actively fighting for your soul you're giving it away piece by piece to things that don't even matter and that's exactly how it happens this is how we lose the fight for our souls not all at once but slowly quietly without realizing it and the first way we lose it through constant distraction
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
We are more distracted than at any other point in human history. We wake up and immediately check our phones. We scroll mindlessly. We fill every second of silence with noise. And because we're constantly plugged into the world, we become disconnected from ourselves. Did you know that the average person spends over seven hours a day on screens?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Yet we say we don't have time to think, reflect, or do the things that truly matter. But here's the real wake-up call. Distraction isn't just taking your time. It's stealing your clarity. It's making you numb. It's keeping you too busy to notice. that you're losing yourself. And this isn't just my opinion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
In episode 301, I spoke with Dr. Gloria Mark, a Chancellor's Professor of Informatics at the University of California, Irvine, and one of the world's leading experts on attention. And what she shared with me, it will change the way you see your own mind. I asked Gloria, why is it that we often feel like we're in control of our lives in the physical world, but not in the digital world?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And Gloria answered me, that's such a great question. There are different kinds of attention. Controlled attention is when you're goal-directed, like if you're writing. Your attention is focused on the task. But then there's automatic attention, which is outside of your control. This is what happens when a notification pops up and an ad flashes on your screen. You can't help but react.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And the problem? Our attention during the day is a mix of both. We think we're in control, but the truth is, we're being pulled in a thousand directions, often without even realizing it. And this is exactly the problem. We think we're in control, but we're not. Every time you get a notification, a blinking light, or a targeted ad, your attention shifts automatically.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And before you even know it, you're scrolling through something that wasn't even important. It's not just distraction. It's design. The digital world is built to still your focus, not to help you keep it. And let me give you a real example of how deep this goes. When I was the chief digital officer at Catalina Marketing, we partnered with Nielsen to track shopping behaviors and attention patterns.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this space is all about you. It's where we take on big ideas, make bold moves, and create lives that truly matter. If you're new here, let me just say, welcome to the family. We've got over 560 episodes packed with inspiration and actionable advice, and I know it can be hard to figure out where to start.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And let me tell you, what we were able to do should scare you. We could track when you were sitting at home watching TV. We could match. what commercials you were seeing with what products you were browsing online. We could dynamically insert an ad onto your phone at that exact moment to grab your attention. This is how intrusive the digital world has become.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Every single day, companies are fighting for your attention. And if you don't fight back, they win. But here's the thing. This isn't just about digital distractions. Distractions show up in other ways too. They show up when we numb ourselves with busyness. They show up when we fill every minute of our day with obligations that aren't even ours to carry.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
They show up when we make ourselves so busy meeting everyone else's expectations that we have no time left for what actually matters to us. And this is where people-pleasing sneaks in, because sometimes the biggest distraction isn't digital, it's the distraction of constantly trying to prove ourselves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
We aren't just handing over our attention to algorithms, we're handing over our identity to other people's opinions. We say yes when we really mean no. We chase likes, approval, and validation instead of chasing what actually matters. We mold ourselves into the version of us that feels the safest, the one that won't be judged, won't be rejected, and won't be too much.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
We don't even realize we're doing it until one day we wake up and wonder, Who am I even doing this for? That's exactly what we're breaking down next. So here's the real question. Who are you actually living for? Are you living for yourself or for everyone else's approval? Are you making decisions based on what you want or based on what will make people like you, accept you, and validate you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Because here's the hard truth. You are sacrificing who you truly are to become who the world wants you to be. And every time you do this, you lose a piece of your soul. Not in one big dramatic moment, but in a thousand tiny ways every single day. And most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it. It happens in the little things.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Saying yes to something just because you don't want to disappoint someone. Changing your opinion because you don't want to start an argument. Hiding parts of yourself because you don't want to be judged. holding back from doing something you actually want to do because you're afraid of what people will think. And just like that, piece by piece, you trade your authenticity for approval.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
And this is exactly what Dr. Ethan Cross, one of the world's leading experts on self-talk and emotional control, has studied. I spoke with Ethan about this in episode 245, and one of the most powerful things he told me was this. The way we talk to ourselves shapes the way we show up in the world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
He shared how our inner voice, the voice in our head that narrates our life, can either be our biggest coach or our worst enemy. Here's what Ethan told me. The things that people say to themselves in their worst moments, if you actually wrote them down and read them out loud, you'd be shocked.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
You'd never dream of saying those things to another human being, and yet we say them to ourselves all the time. And that hit me so hard. Think about it. When you say yes to something you don't want to do, what's the voice in your head saying? Is it saying, I should do this so they like me? I don't want to disappoint them? If I say no, they'll be mad at me? That's people-pleasing at its core.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
That's why we've curated episode starter packs, curated playlists to help you dive into topics like mindset, resilience, alternative health, and leadership. You can find them at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or on Spotify.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
That's giving away your power to someone else's approval. And here's where things get even bigger. Ethan told me that the way we talk to ourselves isn't random. It's learned. It comes from years of conditioning. Years of thinking that we have to please everyone. Years of believing that our worth is tied to what other people think of us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Ethan told me that we have this toolbox of skills inside of us, but most people don't even realize that they have them. Instead, we default to negative self-talk, thinking we have no control over our emotions. And that's exactly why we struggle with people-pleasing, because deep down, our inner voice is still trying to prove that we're good enough. And here's the wake-up call.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Win the Fight for Your Soul and Why It Matters | EP 567
Are you living for you? Or are you living for everyone else's approval? And if this resonated with you, guess what? Ethan Cross is coming back on the show next week to talk about his brand new book, Shift, where we're going to go even deeper into how to control your emotions, silence negative self-talk, and take back your power. But here's the thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Kurt is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina and the incoming Weary Family Foundation Endowed Chair in the Social Psychology of Polarization and Misinformation Department at The Ohio State University. He's a social psychologist who studies how our moral minds work
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Never thought about it that way, but I could definitely see how that would do so and plays a significant role in doing so. Kurt, I wanted to switch the conversation a little bit. A thing that I've been really exploring over the past 18 months is mattering and this whole topic of feeling seen, valued, et cetera. When we think about this human concern with harm, do you think
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
it's at all rooted in our need to feel that we and our experiences matter? And if so, how does mattering influence our perceptions of victimhood and moral outrage?
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Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I do want to jump on something that you said just before this, and that is how people are constantly looking at social media for different things, especially those that you identified who are looking for news or what's happening in politics for the day. And I think oftentimes when you take a step back, a lot of those people end up feeling like,
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Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
their perspectives or they themselves in the big scheme of politics don't matter and so what ended up happening and i see it even within my friend groups is that they then lash out or become entrenched in their views because of that perspective so how would you see that happening and how can if you're in that position like so many people are
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Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
and how we can use that understanding to bridge political and ideological divides he's also the author of the groundbreaking new book outraged why we fight about morality and politics and how to find common ground a must read for anyone navigating today's fractured world if you're new here thank you for joining us you're now part of a global movement of change makers living intentionally unlocking their potential and choosing to matter
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
How do you encourage people to see both sides of the coin as a way of maybe helping them feel more seen and valued? I'll just leave it there.
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Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
This whole discussion makes me think of something I read in the book. You were going into how feeling pain makes us the only and the ultimate victim. And you end up writing about a quote that Elaine, I think her name is pronounced Scarry, S-C-A-R-R-Y. She's an American essayist and author of The Body in Pain. And she writes, to have great pain is to have certainty.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And you follow that up with certainty over our victimhood. But to hear that another person has pain is to have doubt about their victimhood. People in pain are convinced that they are the real victim within a situation. And then you follow it up later on that luckily most people in moral disagreements are not actively in physical pain.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
but can still be self-focused when it comes to feelings of victimhood. So I just wanted to bring that up because I think that pain is deeply rooted, even from the time that we're a teenager to later on in life, we can still be feeling that perspective. And that sometimes is that whole viewpoint that we're coming at a certain situation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And if you're a returning listener, welcome back. I am so grateful for your continued support. Let's take a quick look back at our recent episodes. On Tuesday, Wes Adams and Tamara Miles joined me to explore how to create meaningful work that fuels performance and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I wanted to ask one more question on this whole harm topic, and that is political divides. So liberals and conservatives see harm differently, focusing on different groups as being vulnerable. How do you break down these contrasting perceptions that both sides have?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And then yesterday, Donald Miller unpacked the timeless power of storytelling and how it can transform both our personal lives and business impact. If you missed those, definitely go back and check them out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And don't forget our curated starter packs on Spotify and at passionstruck.com slash starter packs, which can make it easy to dive into our favorite themes like leadership, emotional resilience, behavior change, alternative health, and so much more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
That's really interesting how you were showing how the one side looks at it more as a group and the other side looks at it more as an individual. It's an interesting perspective at a more macro impact that it has. Another macro thing that I discovered in the book is this concept of moral typecasting, where victims really are seen as innocent and villains are blameworthy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And this really reminded me of a conversation I was having with Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis, who you might know, who wrote a book on both thinking. The way I want to approach this is this moral typecasting really gets into black and white thinking or either or thinking that fuels moral conflicts. Why is both and thinking such a more powerful way to address them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
You can also sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com to get weekly tools, challenges, and inspiration delivered to your inbox. Now, let's turn to today's conversation with Kurt Gray.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
In this episode, we'll explore why we're so emotionally reactive to politics, morality, and perceived harm, the psychology behind outrage, and why it often misfires, how to recognize when your moral instincts are being hijacked, and practical ways to foster empathy, understanding, and real dialogue across divides.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Kurt's work is a gift for anyone who wants to turn down the volume on conflict and turn up the dial on compassion, reason, and common ground. Let's dive in. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored today to have Dr. Kurt Gray on the PassionStruck podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Welcome, Kurt. Thanks for having me. I love to start these conversations out with this question. We all have defining moments that shape our lives. One of yours happened in high school while you were driving a car and it ended up shaping your journey in profound ways. Could you please share that story with us?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
So we spent a lot of time today talking about politicians and larger implications of this. I wanted to take this down to families, individuals, friendships. How can individuals apply the lessons that we're discussing today to resolve personal conflicts?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And I wanted to end today by going to the closing of the book, where you talk about Moral humility is something that you're striving for more people to have. Can you describe moral humility and why you want this to be a key takeaway for listeners?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Okay, I'm going to just end on this because it's the last sentence in your book. It's true that many of us today are outraged, but most of us want to be less outraged. And understanding the truth about our moral minds will help. Well, Kurt, thank you for bringing this book to the world and helping people see the truth about their moral minds.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
If people want to learn more about you and your work, where's the best place for them to go?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Kurt, thank you so much for coming on today and congratulations again on your book. Thanks very much for having me. And that's a wrap. Thank you so much for joining me today on Passion Struck with Dr. Kurt Gray.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I hope this conversation gave you a deeper understanding of not only why we experience moral outrage, but how we can channel that emotion toward empathy, bridge building, and meaningful action. Kurt's work offers a powerful reminder. We all want to matter. We all want to be seen as good.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And when we understand that moral fights are often rooted in perceived harm and identity, we can stop yelling across the divide and start listening for common ground. If you found this episode valuable, please share it with a friend or a colleague who could benefit from its insights. Spread the ripple of intentional living.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And also, if you truly love the episode, please consider giving us a five-star rating and review. They bring more people into the Passion Star community. If you're not already following the show, make sure you hit that subscribe button.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
We have an incredible lineup coming up, including next Tuesday's episode with organizational psychologist and bestselling author Tasha Yurek, where we'll explore how to build radical self-awareness to unlock personal and professional transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
As always, you can find links to today's topics, Dr. Gray's new book, and other resources in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Until next time, live intentionally, lead with purpose, and stay passionstruck. See you next week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Thank you so much for sharing that story. The book that you're describing is titled Outraged, Why We Fight About Morality in Politics and How to Find Common Ground. It was just released. It's a next big idea club must read. And I saw today it was number one in its category on Amazon. Congratulations.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I can't wait to get in today's discussion because I think it's so relative given the times that we're in. I just wanted to go back to that car experience for a second. A good friend of mine that I went to the Naval Academy with, we were talking about another one before we came on the show, but this gentleman, Chris Cassidy, at one point was the chief astronaut at NASA.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And I remember talking to him right before he was the commander on the ISS. And then I talked to him after he came back to Earth. And he was talking about this one day that he was looking down on the United States and they happened to be going over New York city. And we were talking about how your mindset changes once you've experienced space.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And he was putting himself into the position of drivers who were likely in a cab. or cab drivers trying to get throughout to New York and how outraged they likely were as he was flying over. And his feeling was how meaningless it is in the big scheme of things going on.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And I always thought it was a really interesting perspective of how we get so close to things in our day-to-day lives that we often lose the big picture. I just thought I'd throw that out and ask you about it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 591 of the PassionStruck podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I agree. And I will just say one other thing about this journey to space for Chris is he went up with two cosmonauts and had trained with them for a very long time. And literally a few weeks right before the mission, one of them got injured running and they were about to cancel the mission.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
And I talked to the head of NASA flight operations and he said, literally no other astronaut could do this, but we asked Chris just to swap crews. So he went with the backup crew who he hadn't worked with practically at all. And they just said he was one of the few people who had the demeanor and the willingness that he could pull something like that off. Interesting.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
I wonder once he got up there, if he did find what you're suggesting and habits or peculiar things that they did that drove him nuts. Well, yesterday I happened to be interviewing Donald Miller. I'm not sure if you know who Donald is, but he wrote this book here that sold a million copies called Building a Story Brand. And he said this quote to me that I thought fit into today's discussion.
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Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
He said that the wrong people have the microphone and his work, his attempt to fix that problem What role do you think that storytelling plays in both creating outrage and in potentially fixing it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
So I'm going to bring this all the way back to Chris the astronaut. So I mentioned that as he was looking down, it really changed his perception of things. And you argue that all mortality boils down to one thing, perceptions of harm. Can you explain why harm is the master key to understanding our moral minds?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Have you ever wondered why we seem to be morally outraged all the time? Why even small disagreements can spiral into division and conflict? What if the root of our polarization wasn't just ideological, but deeply psychological? Today we're exploring these urgent questions with someone who has dedicated his life to Decoding the Moral Mind, Dr. Kurt Gray.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
We think we're safer, although as we have gone from that smaller village setting to now the global villages that we exist in, there are a whole bunch of nefarious characters out there who are influencing our perceptions and many of them want to do harm to us.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Kurt Gray on How to Bridge Moral Divides and Rebuild Trust | EP 591
Could you highlight maybe then how social media amplifies this perception of harm and what role it plays in fueling outrage and moral panics?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
What if the reason love feels so uncertain isn't because you haven't found the right person, but because you haven't fully chosen yourself? Too many people mistake being wanted for being valued. Mistaking makes signals for mystery and inconsistency for passion. But here's the truth. Real love doesn't leave you guessing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It all comes down to something called the Veticular Activating System, short for RAS, the part of your brain that acts as a filter between what you consciously think and what your subconscious believes. Have you ever noticed that when you decide to buy a certain car, you suddenly see that car everywhere? That's your RAS at work. It picks up on what you focus on most. And here's the problem.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you're stuck in a breakup, your RAS filters out all the reasons it didn't work and only searches for proof that they were your perfect person. And this is what ends up happening. You remember the good times and ignore the bad. You romanticize their potential instead of seeing reality. You stay emotionally attached to something that was never fully choosing you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And that's why breakups feel unbearable. Because your brain is literally working against you. making you think you're losing something irreplaceable, when in reality, you lost something that wasn't fully choosing you. So here's a reality check. If someone was truly meant for you, they wouldn't have left. If they were the right person, you wouldn't have to convince them to stay.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Letting go isn't just about moving on. It's about retraining your brain to see reality, not fantasy. So if we know our brain is wired to keep us attached, how do we actually break free? Self-awareness is the key. In my interview with Dr. Tasha Yura, one of the world's leading experts on self-awareness, she said something that hit me hard.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
The biggest reason people stay stuck in painful relationships is a lack of self-awareness. She then went on to say, we tend to be the least self-aware in the areas where we need it most. This is why so many people repeat the same painful relationship cycles without even realizing they're doing it. They leave one relationship only to find themselves in another one that feels eerily similar.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
They keep attracting partners who make them question their worth. They confuse intensity with real connection, mistaking chemistry for compatibility. And if we're not self-aware, we keep making the same choices, not because we want to, but because we haven't done the work to understand why. So I'm going to give you something important here, the breakup self-awareness test.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
On Tuesday, I sat down with Edward Fishman, author of the new book, Choke Points, to break down the hidden power of global supply chains and how economic warfare is shaping the world around us. Then on Thursday, Dr. Sandra Max joined me to explore the fascinating world of digital psychology.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I want you to ask yourself these three questions. What truth about myself did this relationship reveal? What patterns do I keep repeating in my love life? And how can I use this experience to become more intentional in my next relationship? Because healing isn't just about moving on. It's about recognizing the patterns that kept you stuck and choosing differently next time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So here's a way that you can rewrite your breakup story. If a past breakup still weighs on you, take five minutes and write down three things it taught you about love. One way it pushed you closer to the relationship you deserve and what you gained by letting them go. Because healing isn't about erasing the past. It's about using it to rebuild a stronger future.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you've ever walked away from a relationship where you felt unseen, you know that the hardest part isn't just leaving. It's rewriting your entire sense of self. Because when we lose mattering in love, we don't just lose the person, we lose the version of ourselves we became with them. And that's why healing isn't just about moving on.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's about learning to see yourself again without needing someone else to reflect your worth back to you. So before I talked about how I kept waiting for someone to choose me, how I convinced myself that maybe if I just showed up in the right way, they'd finally see my worth. But when you believe you have to prove your value, you end up shrinking parts of yourself just to fit into a relationship.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And the truth is, if you have to convince someone to love you, they're not your person. And I didn't really understand that until I met Corey. She was different from anyone I had ever met before. Not because everything was perfect. Not because we never had conflict. Because, for the first time, I didn't feel like I had to perform. I didn't feel like I had to earn love. I could just be me.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
When I first started dating Corey, something was immediately different. She didn't avoid tough conversations. She didn't wait for resentment to build up. She addressed things directly. She made it clear that my needs were just as important as hers. And she saw all of me, my strengths and my flaws, and loved me as I was.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
this was relational mattering in action i felt seen heard valued for exactly who i was and this brings us to the mattering mindset in love what healthy love actually looks like love should make you more of who you are Period. Not less. A good relationship doesn't make you feel like you have to tiptoe around someone's emotions or walk on eggshells.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It doesn't make you question your worth or whether your feelings are quote unquote too much. So how do you know if you're in the right relationship? You feel emotionally safe. And that shows up because you don't have to second guess everything. You don't have to shrink yourself to avoid conflict. you can have hard conversations without fear of being abandoned.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So now I want to discuss why Corey was different and why that changed everything for me. Meeting Corey was what finally snapped me out of that cycle. Because when you're with the right person, your brain doesn't have to work overtime, convincing you that you're happy. You just know. There was no chasing, no over explaining, no wondering where I stood.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
how the data we generate every day is being used to influence, predict, and even manipulate our behaviors in ways we don't always realize. And today we're bringing it back to something even more personal, the way we experience love. Last time in part one of The Mattering Mindset in Love, we explored why mattering is the foundation of every great relationship.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
The right person doesn't make you wonder where you stand. They make you feel like you matter. So if you're in a situation where you constantly have to convince yourself it's enough, it's not. Love isn't about just being wanted. It's about being chosen fully and freely. And that's what the mattering mindset in love is all about. And this comes down to the fundamental question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Are you building the scaffolding of mattering in love or just holding on? The biggest difference between Carly and Corey, Carly was comfortable with where we were. Corey, on the other hand, was committed to building something together. This is emotional mattering. The difference between a relationship that grows versus one that stays stagnant.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And here's what you can ask yourself in the relationship that you find yourself in. Are we working towards something real? Are we aligned in our values and long-term vision? Are we both contributing to the relationship, or is one person carrying it? Because a relationship should feel like a team effort, not a solo mission.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Bottom line, if you can't see them in your future, they don't belong in your present. Which brings us to future alignment. If I had stayed with Carly, I would have been living in limbo, hoping for something that was never going to happen. But with Corey, I didn't have to wonder, because real love isn't about guessing. It's about clarity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's about choosing the other person and them choosing you back. So ask yourself, if nothing changed in this relationship, would I still be happy five years from now? Am I with this person because I genuinely want to be or just because I'm afraid to leave? Does this relationship align with my long-term vision of love, partnership, and purpose? Love begins with mattering, and that starts with you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
The biggest lesson I learned from all of this? We don't need to be chosen to matter. We need to matter to ourselves first. The love we accept is a reflection of the love we believe we deserve. So if you're stuck in a relationship where you don't feel valued, seen, or secure, then you're choosing something less than what you deserve. So here's the final question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Are you choosing love, or are you just choosing what's familiar? Love isn't a guessing game. The right person makes their feelings known through actions, not just words. A few weeks ago on the podcast in episode 573, I talked about mattering in the workplace, how great leaders create cultures where people feel valued, heard, and significant. But what about our personal lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If we understand mattering at work, Why don't we apply it to love? At work, we know that feeling invisible, unheard, or unappreciated kills motivation and engagement. The same is true in relationships. If you constantly feel like you don't matter, the relationship will slowly erode your confidence, joy, and sense of self. So how do we rebuild mattering in love?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It starts with understanding what it truly means to feel valued. We talk a lot about mattering at work, but love is no different. If you constantly feel invisible in a relationship, it's only a matter of time before you start shrinking yourself to fit in. And that's why I created this framework, to help you assess whether your relationship supports your growth or slowly erodes it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
We talked about how your self-worth shapes the love you accept, the danger of chasing validation instead of real connection, and how to recognize when you're investing in the wrong person. But that was just the beginning. Because today, we're diving deeper into the conversations that most people avoid. The ones that determine whether a relationship is built to last.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
That's why in today's episode, I'm introducing the four dimensions of mattering in relationship, a way to assess whether your relationship reinforces your value or diminishes it. Love isn't just about being in a relationship. It's about choosing one where you truly matter. And too many people settle for relationships that make them question their worth instead of reinforcing it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
But love should make you more of who you are, not less. Just like in leadership and work, mattering in love has four dimensions. The first is personal mattering. Do you feel valued as you are? And here's some questions you can ask yourself. Do I feel valued or do I constantly question my worth? Am I showing up authentically or am I shrinking myself?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Dr. Tasha, you're an expert in self-awareness, says relationships often mirror our self-worth. She told me if you feel like you're disappearing in a relationship, it's not because love is supposed to be selfless. It's because you've stopped prioritizing yourself. So here's a self-check you can do. Am I adjusting my personality values or desires just to keep the peace?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Am I prioritizing their happiness at the expense of my own? Do I feel like I have to prove my worth or am I accepted as I am? And here's a truth bomb. The right person doesn't require you to shrink. They celebrate your full presence. And this brings us to the second element of the framework, relational mattering. Do they truly see you? So here's some questions to ask yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Do they make me feel seen, heard, and respected? Does this relationship bring out the best version of me? Dr. Franco says relationships thrive when both partners feel valued, not just tolerated. She told me you should never have to convince someone to see your worth. Real love isn't about proving yourself. It's about being seen for who you already are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So here's some signs you're being truly valued. Your partner listens when you express your feelings instead of dismissing them. They respect your boundaries instead of pushing them. They support your growth instead of feeling threatened by it. If someone makes you question your significance, they don't deserve access to your heart. And that is so important for you to understand.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And this leads us to the third component, emotional mattering. Are you building something together? And here's some questions to ask. Are we building something real or is this relationship stuck in place? Does this relationship support my personal growth or does it hold me back? Dr. Metcalf explains that emotional safety isn't just a feeling, it's a biological need.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
She told me when your brain perceives a relationship as unsafe, it sends stress signals that make you feel anxious, insecure, and emotionally exhausted. So here's some signs that you're building a real future. You don't feel like you're the only one carrying the relationship. You can express your true thoughts without fear or backlash. You feel chosen daily, not just when it's convenient for them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If love feels like an emotional roller coaster, it's not love, it's a lack of safety. And this leads us to our last component, our future alignment. Does this relationship align with your future? So here's some questions to ask yourself. Does the relationship I'm in align with my long-term vision and values? If I stay, will I regret it five years from now?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Relationship experts John Kim and Vanessa Bennett say that the biggest relationship mistake people make is choosing from fear instead of clarity. And they told me people stay in wrong relationships because they fear being alone more than they fear being unfulfilled. So here's a long-term clarity check. Would my future self thank me for staying in this relationship?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Have you ever wondered, am I being chosen or am I just convenient? Does my relationship actually make me feel secure or am I constantly questioning where I stand? If nothing changed, would I still be happy in five years? These are the questions that separate settling from thriving. In this episode, I will break down the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or just strung along?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If nothing changed, would I still be happy in five years? Am I staying because I genuinely love them or because I'm afraid to leave? If you can't see them in your future, they don't belong in your present. So now that you understand the four dimensions of mattering in love, I want you to take this quick self-assessment. Give yourself a score from 1 to 10 for each category.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
1 equals, I don't feel this at all. And 10 equals, this is fully present in my relationship. First, do I feel valued and seen in this relationship? Score yourself one to 10. Second, do they treat me like I matter with consistency? Again, score yourself on a scale of one to 10. Are we building something real and sustainable? Again, a scale of 1 to 10.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And then lastly, does this relationship align with my future vision and my values? If any score is below a 7, you have to ask yourself, what needs to change? You should never feel like you have to earn love. It should be freely given and deeply felt. So before we wrap up, if today's conversation resonated with you and you're ready to take action, head to the show notes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I put together an episode takeaway to help you apply these ideas in your own life. Use it as a reflection guide, a journaling prompt, or even a conversation starter because transformation doesn't just happen through insight. It happens through action. Love begins with mattering. Love is a choice. Make sure you're choosing wisely.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. When you believe you matter, you make better choices in love. So often we chase people who make us feel like an option. We over-explain, over-give, and over-compensate, all in the hope that they will see our worth. But love was never meant to be earned through effort or sacrifice.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Love is something we build with someone who sees our value from the start. The difference between settling and thriving isn't one grand decision. It's the small choices we make every day. The choice to set a boundary instead of ignoring your needs. The choice to walk away from uncertainty rather than clinging to potential. The choice to stop proving your worth and start believing in it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And this is where true love begins. Not with finding the right person, but with becoming the version of yourself who attracts the right kind of love. The person who knows that love should feel safe, not like a test. That the right relationship will bring more of you to the surface, not less. That real connection is not about convincing someone to stay. It's about being chosen freely and fully.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you find yourself questioning whether you matter in a relationship, that is your answer. Love should never be a guessing game. The right relationship won't make you doubt your worth. It will remind you of it every single day. So where do you begin? Start small. Choose one micro action to practice this week. Perhaps say no when you mean it or stop justifying your needs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Let go of the person who keeps you second guessing. Begin choosing from self-worth rather than fear. The most powerful shift you can make in love isn't about finding the right person. It's about becoming the version of yourself who refuses to settle for anything less than the love you deserve. Because the right person doesn't make you question your worth. They remind you of it every single day.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And that's a wrap on today's episode. But here's the thing. This conversation doesn't end here. The way you approach love, relationships, and self-worth shapes everything. Because when you believe you matter, you stop settling, you stop chasing, you start choosing better. So here's your challenge. Take action.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
We go into the mattering mindset in love. Why great relationships require mutual investment, not one-sided effort. And then lastly, we discuss the four dimensions of mattering in love. A framework to assess whether your relationship truly values you or holds you back. Because love isn't about convincing someone to see your worth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you've been waiting for someone to come around, ask yourself, am I being chosen or am I just hoping? If you've been stuck in uncertainty, have the conversation you've been avoiding. If you've been playing small in love, start showing up for yourself first. And if this episode hit home, share it. Send it to a friend who needs to hear it. Post it. Tag me.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I want to know what resonated most with you. If you want to go deeper, I don't just talk about these ideas. I bring them into organizations, teams, and communities to ignite real transformation. If you're looking for a keynote workshop or event that will shift how people think about relationships, purpose, and personal masteries, let's connect.
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The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Head over to JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more. So coming up next on Passion Struck, I'm sitting down with Natalie Namaste, a renowned expert in self-healing and emotional freedom. We're diving into how to break free from subconscious patterns, release emotional blocks, and build the kind of self-love that transforms every relationship in your life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you've ever felt like you're repeating the same toxic cycles, this is an episode you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's built on mutual respect, emotional security, and the belief that you matter. In episode 579, we're diving deep into the mattering mindset in love, how to recognize when you're being chosen out of love versus convenience, how to stop chasing validation, and how to build relationships that make you feel seen, valued, and truly secure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And remember, you're not here just to consume content. You're here because you're investing in yourself. And that's what PassionStruck is all about. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And lastly, the fee for the show is simple. If you got value here, pay it forward.
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The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Leave a five-star rating, share this episode, post it, text it, whatever it takes to get this into the hands of the people who need it most. Until next time, keep choosing the things that matter. And as always, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's about building a connection where your worth is never in question. So if you're ready to stop waiting for someone to choose you and start choosing the love you truly deserve, then this is the episode for you. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Last week in episode 576, we laid the foundation for how mattering shapes our relationships. We talked about why mattering comes first, how the way we see ourselves dictates the love we accept. We also explored what it means to truly show up as your full self in a relationship and how to recognize when you're chasing the wrong person instead of being chosen. But knowing these things isn't enough.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
The real challenge is applying them. So today we're shifting the focus to something even more defining. commitment because here's the hard truth many people mistake exclusivity for real commitment they think having a title means they're secure in the relationship but true commitment is not about being labeled official or exclusive
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's about being chosen, not just once, but over and over, through actions, not just words. And that brings me back to Carly. If you listened to part one, you'll remember how, at first, everything with Carly seemed great. We had a real connection. We had fun together. and it felt like things were moving forward. But over time, I started noticing something was off.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I wanted something meaningful, and she wasn't being forthright. I kept waiting for her to choose me instead of asking myself, am I truly choosing this relationship or just hoping for validation? I was afraid to ask for clarity because I didn't want to lose her. And that's where so many people get stuck. They hesitate to ask for clarity because they're afraid of losing the other person.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
But let me ask you something. Do you feel safe bringing up your needs in your relationship? Do they show up for you consistently or only when it's convenient? Are you being chosen or are you just hoping they'll choose you? Because if clarity scares someone away, they were never fully invested to begin with. And real love doesn't make you afraid to ask for where you stand.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So this brings us to the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or truly choosing? Commitment is not about exclusivity. It's about consistent action over time. And many people mistake exclusivity for real commitment. But a truly committed relationship isn't about just having a title. It's about choosing each other every day, even when it's inconvenient. So here's a key question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Do I feel safe bringing up my needs in this relationship? If clarity scares someone away, they were never truly invested. The right partner welcomes these conversations, not because they have to, but because they value you. Dr. Abby Medcalf, a relationship expert, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and host of the Relationships Made Easy podcast,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
has spent over 30 years studying why people stay stuck in the wrong relationships. She shared with me on Passion Stuck episode 183 that many people settle because they confuse trust and familiarity. But trust is more than honesty. It's made up of three parts. Integrity. Do they follow through on their words? Competence. Can they show up in the relationship in a real way? And goodwill.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Do they have your best interest at heart? If you only have honesty but lack the other two, you don't have real trust. You have convenience. That's why settling doesn't feel safe. It feels exhausting because you're constantly questioning where you stand. You're afraid that bringing up commitment will push them away and they choose you when it's convenient but disappear when it's not.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you're tired of second-guessing your worth in love, this conversation will change everything. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I don't know about you, but I for sure have felt those things before, and I'm guessing you have too. So many people hesitate to define the relationship because they don't want to scare the other person off. But here's the truth. Commitment conversations don't end the right connection. They reveal the wrong one.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Dr. Marissa Franco is one of the world's leading experts in human connection, a New York Times bestselling author, psychologist, and TED speaker. And we discussed human connection on episode 207. And she told me, we are wired for connection, but we've been conditioned to believe only romantic love matters. And that keeps us stuck in unhealthy dynamics.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Believing we're failing if we don't have a romantic partner. But she told me the happiest people in the world build entire communities of love, not just one relationship. If clarity scares someone away, they were never truly invested. And this is the important part. The right person will want to have these discussions because they value you. So here's a key question you have to ask yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Do I feel safe bringing up my needs in this relationship? Because if you don't feel safe talking about commitment, that is your answer. So now I want to get into something really important. It's a mistake we all make. Listening to words instead of watching actions. And this is something that I wrote about in my book, Passion Struck, in a chapter I called People Speak With Their Feet.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If someone truly wants you in their life, you won't have to guess. Let me say that again because it's so important. If someone truly wants you in their life, you won't have to guess. And I talked about this with relationship experts John Kim and Vanessa Bennett on PassionStruck. Vanessa shared that early in her relationship with John, she could feel him pulling away.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And instead of chasing him, she made a powerful decision. She told him, John, I know I'm awesome, and I know what I bring to the table. If you don't want it, that's fine, but I need to know. And that is self-worth in action. Because being chosen isn't enough. You need to make sure you are truly choosing too. So here are some signs that you're settling.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
you're constantly questioning where you stand. You hesitate to bring up commitment because you're afraid it will scare them away. You feel like they choose you only when it's convenient, but disappear when it's not. And John admitted at the time he wasn't sure what he wanted. He was caught between uncertainty and emotional resistance. And this is something a lot of people experience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
They like you, but they're not ready for real commitment. They care, but they're not willing to show up consistently. They enjoy spending time with you, but they're still keeping their options open. And here's the truth. If someone is unsure about you, they are not your person. And this leads me into another key topic. The difference between being chosen out of love versus convenience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It really gets down to the fundamental question, are they choosing you because they love you or because it's easy? Dr. Franco explains that too many people stay in relationships out of fear, fear of being alone, fear of change, fear of the unknown, rather than because of true connection. When someone chooses you out of convenience, you need to understand that the relationship is built on habit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
not effort. They stay because it's familiar, not because it's fulfilling. They stay out of comfort, not passion. They like having you around, but they're not actively building with you. They have the fear of being alone, not genuine love. You're a placeholder, not a priority. But when someone chooses you out of love, they show up with consistency, not just intensity.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Love isn't about grand gestures. It's about daily actions. They listen, communicate, and grow with you. They don't avoid the hard conversations. They engage in them. And they value your emotional safety. not just their own needs. They don't make you question your worth or where you stand. The right person doesn't make you feel like an option. They make you feel like a priority.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So this is an important mattering check-in. Are you in love with the person or just the idea of them? Here's a hard but necessary question. Do you truly love them or do you just love the feeling of being wanted? If you're more attached to the idea of the relationship than the reality of it, that's a red flag. Love isn't about fitting someone into your fantasy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
It's about choosing what's real together. So I'm going to give you a micro gain challenge. I'm going to encourage you to have the commitment conversation. Take five minutes today and ask yourself, what does commitment actually mean to me? Am I afraid to bring it up? And if so, why? Would I accept this level of effort from a friend?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Because if you wouldn't tolerate it in a friendship, why accept it in a relationship? And here are some important microgains to find the right relationship. Have the commitment conversation early. If they leave, better now than later. Ask, what does commitment look like to you? And see if their definition aligns with yours. And then observe who initiates, who follows through, and who makes effort.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If it's always you, take a step back. The bottom line, if it scares them off, they were never truly invested. If you feel uncertain, that's not security. And if you have to convince someone to choose you, they are not your person. Because the right person doesn't just choose you once. They choose you over and over and over again. And you deserve that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
So we've just established what it feels like to be truly chosen. To be in a relationship where you don't have to shrink yourself, prove your worth, and guess where you stand. But what happens when you realize you're not in that kind of relationship? What happens when you wake up one day and realize you've been waiting to be chosen instead of choosing yourself? That's when the real work begins.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Because walking away from the wrong relationship isn't just about losing that person. It's about losing the version of yourself that existed in that relationship. That's why breakups feel so painful. Not just because you miss them, but because you miss the life you imagined together. You miss the identity you built around being with them. And that's what makes moving on so damn hard.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
And this is why breakups feel like losing yourself. So let's go back to my story about Carly. At first, I kept hoping Carly would come around. I kept justifying the mixed signals. I kept making excuses for why she wasn't being fully transparent about what she wanted. And the hardest part?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
I convinced myself that if I was just patient enough, she would eventually choose me the way I was choosing her. By the time I finally walked away from Carly, I knew it was the right decision. But knowing something logically and feeling it emotionally... let me tell you, are two different things.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Now, let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Hey there, Passion Struck family. Welcome to episode 579. Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this is where we challenge conventional thinking and create lives that truly matter. Earlier this week, we tackled two powerful conversations that reshaped how we think about influence on both a global and personal scale.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Because the hardest part of a breakup isn't just losing the relationship, it's losing the version of yourself that existed in it. Dr. Franco explained to me that this is why breakups feel like losing yourself. She told me, we define ourselves through our relationships. So when a relationship ends, We don't just lose that person, we lose a part of who we were.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
That's why even when a relationship wasn't right, it can still feel like something is missing. Because you weren't just attached to the person, you were attached to the identity you built alongside them. So this is why it is so important to reframe breakups as growth, not loss. Because you didn't lose love. You gained clarity. You didn't fail. You learned what you won't tolerate next time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Importantly, you aren't broken. You're building a stronger version of yourself. Healing isn't just about forgetting them. It's about remembering you. And the hard truth of my relationship with Carly... is I was waiting for someone to validate me instead of valuing myself. And this is where self-worth comes in. This is where personal mattering comes in because here's what I wasn't asking myself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
Did I feel valued as I was? Or was I constantly questioning my worth? And if I'm being truly honest with you, I wasn't being valued. I was waiting to be valued. And here's the problem with waiting. When you need someone else to validate you, you've already given your power away. So here's a key question. Are you being chosen or are you just hoping someone will choose you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
The Mattering Mindset in Love: How to Choose the Love You Deserve (Part 2) | Episode
If you have to wonder, if you have to guess, if you have to convince them, it's not real commitment. And now we're going to go into why your brain is keeping you stuck in the past. Dr. Abby Medcalf explained to me that breakups feel unbearable. not because they were the right person, but because of how our brain filters information.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Coming up next on PassionStruck. Hey friends, let me ask you something. How often do you sit down to work and actually focus? Like no distractions, no scrolling, no multitasking, just pure, deep, intentional focus. Yeah. I feel you. It's hard. But what if I told you that mastering the art of deep work is the key to unlocking your next level of success?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
But flexibility is your secret weapon. Here's a question for you. When was the last time you reviewed your routine and asked, is this actually working for me? How often do you pause, reflect, and adjust course? Imagine this. You're a sailor. You set out toward your destination, but the winds change. What do you do? You adjust your sails. You adapt. Life works the same way.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
So here's an action step for you. Schedule a reflection session this week. Take 20 minutes to review your progress. Identify what's working and adjust what isn't. Deep work isn't just about hitting career goals or getting more done. It's about creating a life that matters. A life that's aligned with your values, your purpose. and what truly lights you up when you commit to deep, meaningful work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
You're not working harder. You're working with clarity and intention. You're making every effort count. Here's the truth. Deep work is about showing up fully engaged. It's about channeling your energy, focus, and time into work that moves the needle, not just for you, but for the people and causes that you care about.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
When you step into this practice, you start to break free from shallow tasks and distractions, uncovering the potential you've been holding back. Now, here's your final challenge. This is the moment where it all clicks into place. I want you to pick one thing, just one, that excites you. scares you, or makes your heart race. Maybe it's an idea you've been putting off.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Maybe it's a goal that feels almost too big to touch. Whatever it is, commit to it and ask yourself, what's one small step I can take toward it right now? What distractions do I need to eliminate to make this happen? This is your life, your work, and your purpose. It's waiting for you to step up and do the deep work. Start now. Set those boundaries. Eliminate the noise.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Dedicate time to what truly matters. Johann Wolfgang von Goth said it best, the things that matter most should never be at the mercy of things that matter least. Take this as your moment to reflect. Focus on what counts. Think about the one area in your life where the deep, meaningful work can help you create real lasting impact. This is where your most meaningful work begins.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
It's where we take on big ideas, make bold moves, and create lives that truly light us up. Let me catch you up on this week because it's been amazing. On Tuesday, I had the privilege of sitting down with Dan Heath. Oh my gosh, this guy is a genius when it comes to breaking through inertia. We dove into his book, Reset, How to Change What's Not Working. And let me just say,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Stop letting business drown out what truly matters. By committing to deep work, you're giving yourself the space to step into your potential. This isn't just about your work. It's about your future. And it starts now. And that's a wrap on today's episode. And let me tell you something. You're not just a passive listener. You're here because you're ready to level up. And that fires me up.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Deep work isn't just a productivity hack. It's about cutting through the noise, reclaiming your focus, and creating a life that aligns with what truly matters. If this episode hit you like a lightning bolt or even just sparked a tiny shift, don't let it stop here. Here's what you can do right now. Leave a five-star review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Seriously, it takes 30 seconds and those reviews are how people who need the show find it. You make that happen. Second, share this episode with someone who needs it. Maybe it's a coworker drowning in busy work, a friend who feels stuck, or someone looking for clarity. Be the one who helps them take that first step. Want to take things even deeper?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
I'm passionate about sharing these principles with teams, leaders, and organizations. If today's conversation resonated with you and you think your company or group could benefit, let's connect. Through keynote speeches, workshops, and events, I help ignite purpose, intentionality, and growth. in workplaces around the world. Head over to JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Are you wondering what's next? Next week, I'm bringing you a mind-blowing conversation with my friend, Dr. Dave Vago, a neuroscientist and mindfulness expert. And we talk about how mindfulness rewires your brain for connection, belonging, and intentional living. Trust me, you don't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
You're not just listening when you come here to the podcast. You're investing in yourself. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for you because no one else can do that. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value, share it, post it, text it, email it, get it into the hands of someone who can benefit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Until next time, keep chasing the stuff that matters, keep taking bold steps, and as always, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
His strategies for finding leverage points to driving meaningful change are absolutely mind-blowing. If you've been feeling stuck, you need to check it out. Then on Thursday, we took a master class in conversation with the one and only Dr. Allison Wood Brooks. She's the Harvard professor who is revolutionizing the way we think about talking to each other.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Her talk framework, consisting of topics asking levity and kindness, will not only change how you connect with others, but also how you show up in every relationship. It's game-changing. Trust me. And last week, I shared a solo episode about how to create a culture of mattering. I mean, think about it. Don't we all just want to feel like we matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
I broke down how to intentionally create environments at home, at work, or in your community where people feel seen, valued, and heard. If you missed that one, go back and give it a listen. It's such an important message. If you're new here, let me just say, welcome to the family. We've got over 560 episodes packed with inspiration and actionable advice.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
And I know it can be hard to figure out where to start. That's why we've created episode starter packs, curated playlists to help you dive into topics like mindset, resilience, and leadership. You can find them on passionstruck.com slash starter packs or on Spotify.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
oh and don't miss my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com every week i send out tips challenges and tools to help you crush it in every area of your life and if you haven't subscribed to the youtube channel yet what are you waiting for head over for highlights behind the scenes and so much more and i also want to mention that a week ago i was in orlando and i did
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Whether you're building a business, chasing a dream, or just trying to make it through your to-do list without losing your mind, this one thing can change everything. In today's episode, I'm breaking down the strategies behind deep work. We'll talk about how to protect your brain from constant distractions, build focus like a muscle, and get more done in less time.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
the Master of Ceremonies for the Podcast Hall of Fame. I'll put a link to the YouTube video in the show notes, but this was one of the most inspirational events I've ever been part of, and I am so happy for the 11 new inductees into the 2025 class of the Podcast Hall of Fame. Okay, here's what we're getting into today. It happens to be a Momentum Friday episode, and you know what that means.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
It's all about giving you the tools to take intentional action and move the needle in your life. So let's jump in and get started. You're going to love this one. Listen up. When was the last time you felt what you were doing truly mattered? Not just another mindless task. Not just another hour on autopilot, but a real moment where your actions electrified the world around you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
We have been conditioned by society to reduce our entire human worth to a job title. Think about it. How many times have you been at a cocktail party and someone asks, what do you do? And suddenly your entire existence gets compressed into a two sentence elevator pitch.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
but here's the truth your significance is not determined by a title a salary or how impressive your linkedin profile looks deep work isn't about grinding harder it's about engaging deeper it's about showing up fully in everything you do it's about connecting your actions to something bigger than yourself most people are sleepwalking through life checking boxes following scripts, but not you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
You're here because you want more. You want meaning. You want to know that when you lay your head down at night, you've done something that matters. Deep work is your rocket fuel to a life of purpose. It's about intentional focus. It's about breaking free from shallow distractions and building something extraordinary. Are you ready to dig deeper?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Are you ready to craft a life that doesn't just exist but matters? Let's freaking do this. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. We're about to have a brutally honest conversation about how you're spending your time. Not how you think you're spending it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Not how you want to spend it. But how you're actually spending it. Most people are living a pinball life. And I talk about this in my book, Passion Struck. You're busy. You're doing all the things. But let me ask you, are you alive? Are you moving forward? Or are you just reacting to the chaos? I get it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Life throws notifications, emails, and endless demands at you, and you just keep bouncing from one thing to the next. But here's the truth. Being busy is not the same as making progress. And today, we're going to change that. Let's get into a deep discussion on deep work. Now the first thing you might be asking is, what is deep work? It's not just some magical productivity hack.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
If you're ready to crush your goals and finally get back in control of your time, this is the episode you've been waiting for. Let's do this. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
It's a radical commitment to what truly matters. Deep work isn't just about focusing. It's about laser-focused intention. Imagine this. You're working so deeply on a task. that the world, it fades away. Hours fly by, and when you come up for air, you have created something extraordinary. This is how you create real magic in your life. Cal Newport said it best in Deep Work, his book.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
In a world of noise and distraction, your ability to focus is your ultimate superpower. Think about that. Your focus isn't just an advantage. It's your edge in a hyper-connected, over-stimulated world. Look, we live in a world of constant distraction. Notifications, emails, social media, they're screaming for your attention. But deep work, that's your secret weapon.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
It's about choosing work that lights you up, whether you're writing a novel, Launching a business or volunteering, this is about creating something that matters. And let me break down why this matters. Your time is the most precious resource that you have, period. When you engage in deep work, you're not just checking boxes. You're investing in yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
You're investing in your dreams, your goals. and your purpose. You're saying, this matters. I matter. My work matters. Now I want to talk about the brutal truth regarding your workflow. Let's get honest right now. I want you to answer these questions. When was the last time that you worked on something that made you lose track of time? How many hours do you spend scrolling instead of creating?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
And when was the last project that genuinely made your heart race with excitement? If you're squirming right now, good. That means we're about to hit something important. I want to go into one of the biggest things that plagues so many of us, the busy trap. It's such a big issue that I did a whole solo episode dedicated just to this topic in episode 477, if you want to check it out.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
And here's what's really happening. You've bought in to the lie that busy equals productive. You go about your day answering emails like a champ, hopping into meetings like it's your job. Oh wait, it is. Checking notifications like your life depends on it. But where's the progress? Most of what you're doing is noise.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
You're a hamster on a wheel, working harder and harder and harder and harder, but getting nowhere. This ends today. Remember, this is your life, your work, your purpose. And productivity isn't about doing more. It's about doing what actually matters. It's being intentional, which means choosing your path. Not the path everyone else expects. Not the safe route. Your route.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
The one that makes your heart race with possibility. Now I want to talk about how do you put this deep work into action. And I'm going to explore this through the five pillars of meaningful work. The first pillar is intentional focus. Stop treating your attention like an unlimited resource. It's not. Think of your attention as currency.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Every time you check your phone, respond to a pointless email, or scroll aimlessly, you're spending it. Are you investing in something meaningful, or are you just bleeding energy? Let me ask you this. When was the last time you set aside an hour, uninterrupted, to focus on just one task? How many times a day do you shift between tabs, apps, or tasks?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Convincing yourself that multitasking is productive. Here's the truth. Multitasking is a lie. It's the illusion of progress. The only way to move forward is to go deep. Laser focus on one thing at a time. So here's an action step I want to give you. Block off one hour tomorrow. Just one. Turn off notifications. Close all tabs except what you need. Dive in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Notice how it feels to give something your full attention. The second pillar of meaningful work is learning how to set hardcore boundaries. Let's be real. Most of us are people pleasers. We say yes to meetings, favors, tasks, and commitments. We know we shouldn't take on. Why? Because we're afraid of disappointing people. But let me tell you something.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Every time that you say yes to something that doesn't align with your goals, you're saying no to your dreams. Think about that. Every time that you say yes to something that doesn't align with your goals, you're actually saying no to your dreams. And here's the brutal truth. Your dreams, they're under attack. by other people's agendas. If you don't fiercely protect your time, no one else will.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
And I go deep into this in two sections of my book, Passion Struck. One, on the need to conduct a mosquito audit. In this chapter, I go into three different types of pesky mosquitoes that infiltrate our lives. The pain in the asses, the invisible suffocators, and the bloodsuckers. And it's so important that you recognize them because you are doing yourself a huge favor.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Once you do, it allows you to set boundaries to keep them out of your inner core. So imagine this. Someone asks you to do a last-minute favor. Instead of defaulting to yes, I want you to do that mosquito audit. How are these people trying to use your boundaries? And if they are one of these mosquitoes, maybe try this. Say, I'd love to help, but I'm fully committed right now.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
And here's another thing you can do. When your phone dings, ask yourself, does this deserve my attention right now, or is it stealing my focus? Here's an action step that I want you to take. Set one non-negotiable boundary today. Maybe it's turning off your phone during dinner.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Maybe it's going through the five closest people to you in your life and seeing if they match one of those mosquitoes I talked about. Maybe it's saying no to a meeting that doesn't serve your goals. Start small, but start now. And that brings us to the third pillar, embracing boredom. This one's going to sting a little bit. Boredom is not your enemy. It's actually where your best ideas live.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Let me explain. We live in a world where we're constantly entertained. The second we feel a twinge of boredom, we grab our phones, scroll social media, or binge Netflix. I am just as guilty of it as the rest of you. But when you avoid boredom, you're also avoiding creativity. Think about it. When was the last time you let your mind wander, like truly wander, without a screen in sight?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Remember those brilliant ideas that come to you in the shower? That's what happens when your brain has space to think. And here's the kicker. Creativity doesn't show up on demand. It sneaks in when you're quiet, still, and yes, bored. So here's an action step you can take. Designate one boredom session this week. Go for a walk with no phone. Sit quietly with a journal.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Let your mind roam and see where it takes you. And the fourth pillar to doing deep, meaningful work is energy management. Your energy is your most powerful asset, and managing it is the key to unlocking your full potential. Forget about grinding through tasks when you're exhausted. Instead, focus on showing up as your best. most energized self. Let's break it down.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey there, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 564 of the PassionStruck podcast. I am so fired up that you're here. Whether you're a loyal listener who's been rocking with me for a while, or this is your very first time, I want you to know this space is all about you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Think of your energy as a battery. Every decision you make, every notification you check, every meeting you sit through is draining that battery. The question is, are you recharging it enough? Or are you running on empty? Here's the truth. Success isn't about doing everything. It's about doing what matters when you have the energy to do it best. You can't pour from an empty cup.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Imagine an athlete who pushes themselves to peak performance during training, but prioritizes rest and recovery afterward. That's how you need to treat your energy. Identify what drains you and what recharges you and structure your day accordingly. Ask yourself, what activities light me up? What makes me feel depleted?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Once you're clear on that, you can start building your days around tasks that align with your energy levels. So here's an action step you can take. This week, track your energy. Notice when you're feeling most motivated, the most creative, or the most focused. Use those moments for your high priority tasks. And give yourself permission to rest when your battery is low.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How Deep Work Unleashes Five Keys to Mattering in Life | EP 564
Protect your energy like your dreams depend on it. Because they do. And this brings us to the last pillar of meaningful work, doing constant reflection and adjustment. Your goals aren't static. Your life isn't static. So why would you let your workflow be? Here's the problem. Most people set goals, create a plan, and then stick to it, even when it's not working. They're afraid to pivot.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, I'm glad you brought that all up because skating is more than just competition and The skating community is really a family. And this year, that family suffered an unimaginable loss with the tragic plane crash that took over 28 skaters, coaches. and family members traveling to Washington, DC. And it hit me personally because I also lost a friend and Naval Academy classmate in that accident.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
When something like that happened, Vincent, how does the skating world come together? And what do you think about carrying forward the legacy of those we've lost?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
On Tuesday, I sat down with Nir Eyal to discuss how we can break free from distractions and and master the art of deep focus. Then on Thursday, Anne Marie Anderson joined me to explore the intersection of storytelling, leadership, and performance, and how we can show up more powerfully in every area of our life. If you've missed either of these, I highly recommend going back to listen.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
So how do you, yeah, it is so heartbreaking. And how do you think that changes the intermediate novice and junior levels right now going forward in the United States world of skating?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Yeah, well, thank you for sharing all that. Yeah, my friend, his name was Brian Ellis. And when we were at the academy, he was the backup quarterback and then became the starting quarterback and had not even been into that position very long when he had kind of a career ending injury. I remember him.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
walking around for a while with his mouth taped shut as a result of some of the injuries he sustained. But he went on to become a Marine and ironically, a Marine Corps helicopter pilot. And had gotten out of the service and was working for one of the big four consulting firms and happened to be on his way back from a work project he was on when he was impacted as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And I know for us as a class and for many of his, especially football teammates, it was especially hard because he had been one of those guys who had always been a major support to his teammates and had uplifted them. And so I think similar To you, it was just such a shock to hear of his passing and of the loss and the void that it now brings to his friends and his immediate family.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
They're packed with insights that will help you elevate your mindset and reclaim your time. Now, let me ask you this. How do you redefine success when the world sees you as a champion? What happens when you've reached the pinnacle of your sport yet still face adversity, setbacks, and personal transformation? And how do you take all of those experiences and use them to shape the next generation?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Thank you. Well, I want to go back to your journey and you being these kids age, um, because you talked about earlier, your mom gave up everything. And at that time you weren't very good, but in just a few short years, you won titles at the intermediate novice and junior levels becoming the youngest junior champion ever. What do you think gave you an edge so early on in your career?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And was there any type of defining moment where you felt like you truly stepped into an elite level of skating?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
I want to go there in a couple of moments and explore more about that mindset. But since we were just talking about the quad Lutz, you made history at the 2018 Olympics as the first skater to ever land a quad Lutz in Olympic competition. And just to give the listeners some perspective in case They don't know your background.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
My understanding was at that Olympics, you were the youngest member of the US team, as I understand it. At the time, were you aware of how historic that moment was?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
That's exactly what we're diving into today with Olympic gold medalist and figure skating trailblazer Vincent Joe. Vincent's story is extraordinary. He made history as the first skater to land a quadruple Lutz at the Olympics, became a two-time world bronze medalist, and helped Team USA secure gold in the 2022 Winter Games. But his journey hasn't been without struggle.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, I want to go into mindset just a little bit more here, because as you talked about earlier in the interview, figure skating is notorious for its intense training demands. The amount of time that you're on the ice, how you have to learn to push balancing your limits with protecting your body. But some of these.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Techniques that you're doing, you're constantly trying to push the limits because that's what everyone in the sport is trying to do is to get technically sharper and sharper. When you think back upon it, like how did your mind go there? Knowing that some of these things are going to be dangerous, that some of these things haven't been done before.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
From battling injuries and mental health challenges, to having to make the painful decision to withdraw from his Olympic event due to COVID-19. In today's conversation, we explore the mindset of a champion and what it takes to perform under pressure. His fight for clean sport and the long road for finally receiving his Olympic gold medal.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
What gave you that wherewithal to say to yourself that I can do this?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
I want to talk to you about unforeseen events. So they have played a major role in your career for a long time. At 12, you had knee surgery that kept you out for two seasons. But when I think about myself and the emotional roller coaster, it would havoc on me. Injuries like that, when you're young, you have time to recover from.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
But in the 2022 Olympics, you were faced with a different type of situation. These were supposed to be the Olympics you broke out. These were likely going to be that time when you had a chance to get a gold, silver, or bronze from an individual standpoint. And out of nowhere, the day before you're supposed to perform, you come down with COVID and had to withdraw from that event.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
I can't even imagine it. I watched your video and saw the emotion you were trying to process. But for someone who's listening and I just want to take him to that situation because here you have trained up to that point your entire life for that moment. And then in an instant, it's taken away from you. What was the hardest part of that experience? Was it missing your shot?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Or was it more feeling like the circumstances were out of your control?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
We go into how Vincent balances life as an elite athlete and his academic journey at Brown University. And lastly, we go into his passion for mentorship and how he hopes to shape the future of figure skating. And speaking of mentorship, we're also joined by Kirk Spahn, founder of the Institute for Civic Leadership, known as ICL, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering the next generation of leaders.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine that position I have faced. Certain things in my life that are similar in nature, but don't compare to that amount of emotion you would have faced at that time. But for someone who might be listening, who has prepared for something really hard and had it taken away from them in your situation, what would be your advice to them on how do you move past this?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Thank you so much, Vincent, for answering. And I know those aren't easy questions for anyone to have to address. And I'm going to just let Kirk know that I know he's there. I want to ask you one other question and then I'm going to dive into bringing him on so he knows. Awesome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
So Vincent, at that same Olympics, you did get to make history, although it took you a while to get the final result that you had won a gold medal, which took two and a half years later. Did winning that gold medal bring closure for you or did it make you reflect on everything you had to endure for those two years before you received it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
ICL has worked with world-class athletes, changemakers, and icons from Novak Djokovic and Kerry Walsh Jennings to Bill Clinton and Alicia Keys to instill values of resilience, service, and personal growth in young people. Kirk joins us in the final segment to discuss how Vincent and other champion mentors are using their experiences to inspire and elevate the next generation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Absolutely. And I know even days before you got the medal, there was still appeals up in the air that were finally released. So it really took you down to the final hours to even realize you were getting on a plane to Paris, as I understand it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, congratulations. You achieved that gold medal that you had set your heart on for so many years. So such an incredible and rewarding experience. And in many ways, I think the way you got to receive it out of COVID with your parents and coaches and everyone there in front of the Eiffel Tower may have been worth the wait.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
You're in this position where you get to do the same for the next generation. And I know giving back is something that's really important to you, whether it's inspiring young skaters, advocating for the clean sport, like we've just been talking about, or even thinking about a long-term goal of opening your own skating school.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
This episode is a masterclass in resilience reinvention and what it truly means to lead with purpose. Vincent's story reminds us that success isn't just about what you achieve. It's about the impact you leave behind. And for those of you who want to dive deeper, check out our episode starter packs at Spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
But this idea of mentorship and leadership is at the heart of the work that's being done by the Institute for Civic Leadership, ICL, which has built an incredible network of champions, entrepreneurs and changemakers who are committed to guiding this next generation. And to expand on that, I'm going to bring on the founder of the ICL with us now.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
But Kirk and Vincent, I would hope you guys could both talk a little bit about the ICL and Kirk, why you founded it and Vincent, why it's so important for you to be a part of it. So I'll turn it over to you, Kirk. Welcome to the show. It's great to see you, Kirk.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
With over 580 episodes, we've curated playlists to help you find the inspiration that resonates most with you. And don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com for exclusive insights, challenges, actionable strategies, and behind-the-scenes content. Now, let's dive into this powerful conversation with the one and only Vincent Zhou.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And Vincent, I just want to ask you a little bit about that. Maybe through this, if you could go back and design a perfect support system for yourself as a younger skater and athlete, knowing that ICL is now here and available, what would that look like?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored today to have Vincent Zhou on PassionStruck. Welcome Vincent.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Kirk, as I was listening to you talk about that, it dovetailed so incredibly well with the book I released last year titled Passion Struck. But I really explore how passion, the components of grit, as Angela Duckworth has laid out, and intentionality lead to this passion. life that I call of being passion struck, which you just did basically a great demonstration.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
It's how Vincent has lived his life. It's being so passionate about a goal that you want to achieve or a problem that you want to solve that you're willing to do whatever it takes and risk it all to get there, whether that's risking injuries, risking your opportunity to have a childhood like a normal person would have had.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Whatever it takes, you're willing to go for it to achieve the goals that you set out. But I think you brought up something that's really important, and that is our value, our characters, our individuality play a huge role in doing it because it's got to be something that is innate to you and what lights you up inside or else it's not going to matter in the same way. So thank you for sharing that.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
So I wanted to ask you both this question and Kirk, I'll let you go first. And in a world that sometimes feels increasingly individualistic, why do you believe mentorship and leadership through service are more important than ever?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, thank you so much. And it's such an honor to have you here today. And I think maybe for our audience, the best beginning point is often the starting line. So maybe we should just start there. And what drew you to the ice when you were three, four or five years old? Oh,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
It absolutely is. And not only have I had Olympic athletes Like Vincent on the show, I've had Paralympians as well, such as Dan Knosson has been on the show.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Oksana Masters has been on the show and just hearing what they have had to go through and to pick themselves up and to go out there and perform given how much pain at times they have to go through just to be able to suit up and get out there makes you realize
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
that anything is possible when you put your mind to it, but nothing is possible if you don't have a community that's helping you and cultivating a sense of mattering inside of you that you're seeing that you're valued, that you're appreciated and that your voice carries weight.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And I think that's what a lot of this gen alpha that's coming up and also gen Z, which Vincent and my kids are experiencing have been missing in their lives. So I'm so glad that's part of what you're doing with ICL as well.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, thank you both so much for going through that. And I think Vincent, what you brought up is something that my kids are 21 and 25 right now. And it's something I hear from them all the time and how they've been growing up and what they have been longing for. Vincent, I wanted to close with a question for you. You have navigated a ton of transitions, even in your young life from
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
child prodigy to elite skater from Olympian and Ivy League student to now competitor to advocating for others. What's been the hardest transition for you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Ice skating has been a passion of mine since as long as I can remember. Similar to you, I grew up not on the West Coast, but in the mid portion of the country. Part of that was in Rochester, New York, and then Cleveland, and then Chicago, and then Pennsylvania. So always cold weather climates where we could skate.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Welcome to passion struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And I remember some of my favorite moments were skating on ponds when I lived in Pennsylvania during the winter months. And it was so fun just going out there with my friends. We didn't do as much figure skating. We were always out there trying to play hockey with each other. But when I think about figure skating, I just don't even know how you guys do it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
It's such a different type of sport because to me, to do some of the jumps you have to do, there's just this innate knowing that you're going to wipe out a whole bunch of times before you get that right.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, Kirk, I can see why you have Vincent as a mentor. And that last bit was such a great learning segment for anyone who's watching this podcast or listening in, because I think you just showed so much there, Vincent, about sometimes it's not about where you place, it's the effort and that going deep to take that next step that will then lead you down the path of where you long to go.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
That is so important. And to look at moments like that and appreciate them for what they are and what you accomplished.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, Kirk, if someone wanted to learn more about ICL, where's the best place for them to do so?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Thank you, Kirk. And thank you, Vincent, so much for coming on. It was an honor to have you both on the show. Thanks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Vincent Zhou. His journey from history-making Olympian to a passionate advocate for clean sport, mentorship, and personal growth is nothing short of inspiring. Vincent's story reminds us that success isn't just about medals or external achievements. It's about resilience, reinvention, and using our experiences to uplift others.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
From navigating the highest levels of competition, to balancing life as a student at Brown University, Vincent has shown us what it truly means to persevere through uncertainty and lead with purpose. As we close out today's episode, I invite you to reflect on a few key takeaways. How do you redefine success beyond external achievements? What does it mean to balance ambition with well-being?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And how can you use your own experiences like Vincent is doing to inspire and uplift others? If today's discussion resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support the show. and helps us bring conversations like this to even more people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And if someone in your life could benefit from Vincent's wisdom, share this episode with them because a single conversation can spark transformation. For all the resources we discussed, including Vincent's insights on mentorship and the Institute for Civil Leadership, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And if you want to go even deeper, be sure to watch the video version of this episode on my John R. Miles YouTube channel, where you'll find even more enriching conversations like this one. While you're there, hit subscribe and join our growing community.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And if you're looking to bring these transformative insights into your organization or team, visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to explore how we can work together to create intentional change. On my next episode of PassionStruck, I'm joined by authors Wes Adam and Tamara Miles, where we'll be diving into their new book titled Meaningful Work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
They make a powerful case that meaning at work drives employee well-being, high performance, and even profit. This next conversation will be packed with powerful insights to help you operate at your best and thrive in both work and life. So make sure you're subscribed.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Well, I understand when you were around eight, your parents gave you the choice between soccer and skating. What made you commit to figure skating?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change, but action does. Until next time, live life passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
And I remember as I was doing research on you that you used to spend hours and hours watching skaters videotapes and trying to understand how they were doing their programs. Were there certain skaters that you emulated and wanted to be like when you were that age?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 588.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
It's got to be similar to Patrick Mahomes playing in the Super Bowl against a quarterback he idolized, Tom Brady, similar to you having to compete against these people you idolized. Did you find that was difficult? Was there a mental block that was in your head or did you go into these events knowing that you could beat them?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
I find it really interesting that you bring all that up because it's not just the figure skating world. I remember when I got in the podcasting space, before I decided to do it, I had done this intense research on different podcast hosts, similar to the research you were doing on all these skaters. And I remember when I first started the show, I was emulating a lot of the people who I had studied.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
I realized early on that one of the things about the podcast world, similar to anything, is people don't come to the show necessarily because I have Vincent Joe on the show, although I will probably get more just because of who you are. But they come because of who the host is. And if you're not being yourself, you're not going to have the audience find you. So it's a very similar thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
One thing I know in your sport is that it's something that you have to travel a lot for, and there's also a ton of sacrifice to having to get up. way early in the morning or whenever you can get out ice time. So it's one of those sports that puts a tremendous amount of pressure on the parents to support their children who are in it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Because of that, were there moments where you felt pressure to succeed because of the sacrifices your parents were making?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Vincent Zhou on How to Make Your Gold Medal Dreams a Reality | 588
Whether you're a long-time listener or joining us for the first time, I am so ecstatic you're here. You've turned into a movement dedicated to unlocking your potential, living with intention, and making what truly matters matter most. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on the powerful conversations from earlier this week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Coming up next on Passion Struck. What if I told you that the biggest reason people stay in unfulfilling relationships isn't love, it's self-worth? That most people aren't actually choosing love, they're just trying not to be alone. The truth is, the way you experience love is a direct reflection of what you believe you deserve.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
A lot of dating advice out there is focused on securing attention instead of building real compatibility. Don't text back right away. Make them chase you. Wait three days before following up. I'm calling BS on all of it. Because the right person will be drawn to your full self, not a version of you designed to be liked.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
This is where we challenge conventional thinking and create lives of impact. Earlier this week, we had two incredible conversations that pushed the boundaries of personal transformation. On Tuesday, I sat down with Randy Blight, frontman of Lamb of God, to discuss resilience, discipline, and how art can be a vehicle for self-discovery.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
The moment you shift from trying to be liked to trying to be known, your entire dating experience will change. Vanessa described it as knowing when she first came across John's Instagram. She told her friend, I'm going to date this guy. And even though she didn't know if it would last forever, she knew she had to explore it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Contrast that with how so many people approach dating today, waiting for someone else to pick them instead of trusting their own instincts and choosing for themselves. And this is key. Every choice you make in dating either builds towards or away from love that matters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
and the biggest mistake people make they choose partners from self-doubt instead of self-worth they chase attention instead of connection they adjust themselves instead of standing in who they really are they tolerate inconsistency instead of recognizing their value and here's the truth the more you filter edit and shrink yourself to fit someone else's expectations
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
the more disconnected you become from the love that's actually right for you. So if you want to attract the right relationship, you have to start by showing up fully as yourself. This starts with the shift from dating to be liked to dating to be known. When you stop trying to win someone over, You open yourself up to real connection.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And then you need to ask yourself, am I adjusting to impress them or am I showing up as my real self? If you're editing yourself, pause. If you're constantly questioning whether you should say something, that's a sign you're not being fully you. And then set one boundary early and observe their reaction. Maybe it's about how often you communicate. Maybe it's about how fast the relationship moves.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
The right person will respect it. The wrong person will push back. And this brings us back to Vanessa and John, who went on a trip to Costa Rica together. And while they were there, Vanessa could feel John pulling away. Instead of chasing or trying to make him like her, she made a powerful decision. She told him, I know I'm awesome, and I know what I bring to the table.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
If you don't want it, that's fine, but I need to know. That's what mattering in love looks like. Choosing yourself instead of trying to convince someone else to. So the next time you catch yourself overanalyzing a text, We're delaying your response to play it cool. Do this instead. Respond in a way that feels natural. Don't edit. Don't strategize. Just be real.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Because if someone is only interested in you when you're performing, they are not the right person. So think about it. If you weren't afraid of losing someone, how would you really act? Would you set stronger boundaries? Would you express your needs instead of suppressing them? Would you stop shrinking yourself to fit someone else's preferences? Because here's the thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
When you truly believe you matter, you don't play games. You don't beg for attention. You don't overthink every interaction. You show up as your full self and trust that the right person will meet you at your level. And that's how you stop chasing love and start choosing it. So now I want to discuss how to know if you're chasing the wrong person.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Then, on Thursday, Dr. Scott Scher joined me to explore cutting-edge science and longevity in peak performance, sharing how GABA, one of the most misunderstood neurotransmitters, is changing the game in human optimization. And today, we're shifting the focus again, because what if the missing piece in your life isn't just about personal success or growth, but about the way you approach love?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
This all comes down to the question, are you in love with who they are or who you hope they'll become? Some people stay in dead end relationships, not because of who their partner is, but because of who they believe they could be. This is something Dr. Marisa Franco,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
one of the world's leading experts in human connection, a New York Times bestselling author, psychologist, and TED speaker, shared with me on PassionStruck in episode 207. Dr. Franco has spent years studying the psychology of relationships and attachment, translating complex research into actionable insights that help people transform their connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
She told me that one of the biggest relationship traps is falling for potential, staying in relationships based on hope rather than reality. After experiencing heartbreak in her 20s, she realized she had internalized a belief that romantic love was the ultimate form of love, the only kind that defined her worth. But through healing and research, she came to a profound realization.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
She told me, I always felt like romantic love was the love that made me worthy. that it was the only love that was legitimate, and that there was no love in my life without romantic love. But when I looked around, I had a beautiful community, and I was discounting the importance of that. And that is exactly how so many people fall into the illusion of potential.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
They fixate on the idea of what their relationship could be instead of looking at what it actually is. They ignore red flags because they believe the other person will change. They justify inconsistency because the good moments feel so incredible. They stay because they're afraid of what love means without romance. So here's a reality check. If you constantly feel anxious, unseen, and undervalued,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
then who they could be doesn't matter. You're not dating their potential. You are dating who they are right now. So how do you know if you're in a one-sided relationship? Dr. Franco's research and our conversation point to key patterns that indicate you're giving more than you're receiving. The first pattern is you justify their lack of effort. They're just busy.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
They're not good at expressing their feelings. They're not emotionally available right now.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
but i know that they care the truth is if someone values you they make time period the second pattern is that you're always uncertain about where you stand you over analyze their text you rationalize why they disappear for days you feel more confused than confident about the relationship and here's the truth love doesn't live in uncertainty if you don't know where you stand you already have your answer
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And then here's a pattern I love. When you ask for clarity, they deflect or distance themselves. They tell you, let's not put a label on this. They say they care, but don't follow through with actions. They pull away when you bring up commitment. And here's the truth. If they wanted to be with you, they would make it clear. And if they don't, they are not your person.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
As Dr. Franco emphasized, when you assume someone will change, you're not in a relationship. You're in a hope project. And hope isn't love. Hope is what keeps you attached to something that isn't working. If someone truly wants you in their life, you won't have to guess. And let me say that again, because it's so important. If someone truly wants you in their life, you won't have to guess.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Dr. Franco explained that when people believe in potential rather than reality, they overlook crucial signs. Her advice? Look for consistency over time. She told me, effort doesn't always equal interest. You may be putting in energy, but if it's one-sided, it's not a relationship, it's a hope project.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
That's why the best test isn't how much someone shows up when it's easy, it's how they show up when it's inconvenient. So here's a key question. If nothing changed about this person, would I still choose this relationship? Because if you're waiting for them to change, you're not in love, you're in a hope project. So if you're unsure about where you stand in a relationship, do this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Let me ask you something. Have you ever stayed in a relationship that made you feel invisible? Have you ever chased someone who never really chose you? Have you ever convinced yourself that a situation was more than it actually was? Just because you didn't want to admit the truth, here's the hard reality.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Stop listening to their words and start watching their patterns. As John Kim shared in our conversation, one of the biggest relationship pitfalls is not recognizing red flags early on. He told me, without self-awareness, people just go through the motions in relationships, ignoring what's really happening.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
They end up holding on to something that's not actually working because they're afraid of being alone. So ask yourself, how do they treat you when they don't need something from you? Do they only show up when it's convenient? Are their actions consistent or do they come and go? And here's a key question you need to ask yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
If nothing changed about this person, would I still choose this relationship? And then the last thing I want you to think about is would I accept this level of effort from a friend? If a friend ignored your text, flaked on plans, or only reached out when they needed something, would you put up with it? If not, Why do you accept it from a romantic partner? This is where self-worth comes in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Because when you believe you matter, you don't tolerate relationships where you feel like an option. And here's a truth bomb. Effort does not equal interest. Consistency does. And if they're not showing up consistently, you have your answer. So I want you to take five minutes today and write down the patterns in your past relationships. What traits keep showing up?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Are you actively choosing your partners or are they just happening to you? Do you feel like you have to earn their attention or do they make an effort on their own? The goal, spot the patterns so you can break them. So I'm going to end this section by giving you a few micro gains to stop chasing the wrong people. First, Notice when you're waiting for them to change.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Do you like them as they are right now? Not their potential, not their best moments, but who they actually are. Then ask yourself, am I the only one keeping this connection alive? If you stopped texting first, stopped making plans, stopped over-giving, what would happen? And then stop rationalizing small gestures as proof of love.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Does their consistency match their intensity is the question you need to ask. Love bombing feels great, but if they disappear when it matters, that's not love. It's manipulation. The bottom line is if you have to chase them, they're not your person. If you have to convince them, they're not your person. And if you feel anxious, uncertain, and undervalued, you already have your answer.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Because real love makes you feel seen, safe, and chosen. And you deserve that. The right person doesn't make you question your value. They remind you of it every single day. And that's a wrap on part one of this two-part episode on mattering in love. But here's the thing. This isn't just about listening and moving on. The way you approach love, relationships, and self-worth changes everything.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Because when you believe you matter, you stop settling. You stop chasing. You start choosing better. So here's your challenge. Take something from today's conversation and put it into action. Start making micro choices that align with the love you truly deserve. And if this episode hit home, share it. Send it to a friend who needs to hear it. Post it. Tag me.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
So many people settle for relationships that leave them feeling unfulfilled, undervalued, and unseen. And it's not because they want to settle. It's not because they don't want a great relationship. It's because they don't believe they matter. And when you don't believe you matter, when you don't believe you're worthy of the love you actually want, this is what happens. You settle.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
I want to know what resonated most with you. And we're not done yet. In part two, we're taking it even deeper. We'll be diving into the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or are you just hoping to be? The mattering mindset in love. How to build a relationship that lasts. And lastly, the four dimensions of mattering in love.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
A framework to assess whether your relationship is truly aligned with your future. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss it. If you want to go even deeper, I don't just talk about these ideas. I bring them into organizations, teams, and communities to ignite real transformation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
If you're looking for a keynote or workshop or an event that will shift how people think about relationships, purpose, and personal mastery, let's connect. Head over to JohnRMiles.com speaking to learn more. Coming up next on Passion Strike, I'm sitting down with Edward Fishman, author of Choke Points, Waging Economic War in the 21st Century.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
We're diving into the hidden power of global supply chains, how economic warfare is shaping the world, and why controlling choke points, those critical bottlenecks, could be the most powerful weapon of our time. If you want to understand the real forces driving global conflict and competition, this is an episode you don't want to miss.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And remember, you're not just here to consume content. You're here because you're investing in yourself. And that's what PassionStruck is all about. So take what you've learned today, apply it, and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And lastly, the fee for the show is simple. If you got value here, pay it forward.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Leave a five-star rating, share this episode, post it, text it, whatever it takes to get this in the hands of the people who need it most. Until next time, keep choosing the things that matter. And as always, live life... passion struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
You chase people who don't choose you. You stay in situations that don't serve you. And that changes today. Because love isn't a game. You're not here to win someone over. You're here to choose the right love, one micro decision at a time. And that's exactly what we're diving into in this two-part episode on the mattering mindset in love.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Today in part one, we're laying the foundation for everything that follows. We'll cover why mattering comes first, how it sets the foundation for love. Second, we'll go into the choice to show up as your full self instead of shrinking to fit someone else's expectations. And then third, I'll discuss how to know if you're chasing the wrong person and what to do about it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And if you keep attracting people who don't show up for you, if you feel like you have to convince someone to choose you, then it's time to shift your mindset. In this episode, I'm breaking down the mattering mindset in love, how to stop settling, start building better relationships, and finally feel seen, valued, and chosen. Because love isn't something you earn.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Then next week in part two, we'll go even deeper, tackling the commitment conversation. Are you being chosen or are you just hoping to be? We'll discuss the mattering mindset and love, how to build a relationship that lasts. And lastly, we'll dive into the four dimensions of mattering and love, the framework that helps you assess and create deeper, more meaningful connections.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
So if you've ever wondered, why do I keep attracting people who don't show up for me? Why do I feel like I have to convince someone to love me? And how do I stop chasing the wrong person and start attracting the right one? Then get ready because we're diving deep into the mattering mindset and love, a framework that will help you break the cycle of unhealthy relationships.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Stop chasing love that doesn't serve you and start building connections where you feel seen, valued, and chosen. And it all starts with the most important relationship in your life, the one that you have with yourself. Before we dive in, if you're new here, welcome to PassionStruck. This platform is more than just a podcast. It's a movement.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
With over 570 episodes, we have built a global community dedicated to unlocking human flourishing. And I know it can be overwhelming to know where to start. So that's why we've created episode starter packs, curated playlists on topics like relationships, mindset, and personal mastery. You can find them at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or on Spotify. Want even more?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. for exclusive insights, challenges, as well as insights you won't get anywhere else. And don't forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you can watch what you learn. So are you ready? Let's go. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Now, let that journey begin. Let me tell you a story. A number of years ago, before I met my wife, I started dating this woman. Let's call her Carly. She was beautiful, intelligent, and seemed really into me. From the outside, it looked like a perfect match. We both loved working out, hiking, biking, going to hockey games, sailing, live music, you name it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
It felt like we were aligned in every way. At first, things were great. We had amazing conversations, shared passions, and real chemistry. But then, something started to feel off. I noticed I was always the one reaching out. If I didn't initiate plans, we didn't see each other. She would be fully present when we were together. But then, she'd disappear for days.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
I started to feel like I was chasing her. Have you ever been there? where you feel like you're the only one holding the relationship together, it's exhausting. I ignored the red flags at first. I convinced myself she was just busy. I told myself that maybe she just needed time, that if I was patient, if I showed her how much I cared, she would realize I was worth choosing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
But here's what I wasn't realizing. I was choosing her instead of choosing myself. I was making excuses for behavior that made me feel invisible. I was investing in a relationship that wasn't investing back in me. And let me tell you, the moment I finally saw it, everything changed. Because love, love is not something you have to earn. It's something you choose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And the moment you realize that, you stop settling for people who don't choose you back. So let's get real. The way you experience love, who you attract, who you tolerate, and how you will feel in relationships has nothing to do with luck. It has everything to do with your self-worth. And here's the truth. Mattering is the antidote to scarcity in love.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
It's something you build with the right person. Ready to change the way you love? Let's dive in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
But most people don't approach dating from a place of abundance. They approach it from a place of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being chosen. Fear that love will never happen for them. And when fear is driving your love, here's what happens. You settle. You chase people who don't choose you. You stay in relationships that make you feel small instead of seen. Sound familiar?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
You're not alone. But that changes today. And the first choice you need to make is believing you matter. Because when you don't believe you matter, you end up tolerating love that makes you feel invisible. You convince yourself a relationship is more serious than it actually is. You hold on to hope that someone will change instead of accepting who they actually are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
welcome to passion struck hi i'm your host john r miles and on the show we decipher the secrets tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself if you're new to the show i offer advice and answer listener questions on fridays
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
You stay way too long, like I did, waiting for validation instead of walking away and choosing yourself. And this needs to stop now. Because real love, healthy love, doesn't feel like a test. It feels like alignment. The level of self-worth you carry dictates the kind of relationships you attract and tolerate. Period. Let's break it down.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
If you don't believe you matter, you'll accept relationships that make you feel invisible. If you fear being alone, you'll tolerate mixed signals and emotional bright crumbs. If you think love is something you have to earn, you'll stay in dynamics where you're constantly proving your worth instead of receiving love freely. But here's the flip side. When you know you matter, you date differently.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
You choose relationships with confidence instead of chasing validation. You stop trying to fix people or convince them to love you. You recognize that real love doesn't feel like a test you have to pass. It feels like alignment that naturally exists. So here's a key question you need to ask yourself. Do I feel like I have to earn love or do I believe I deserve it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Because the love you accept is a direct reflection of the love that you believe you deserve. So why do so many people settle for less than they deserve? This isn't just about dating the wrong people. It's about what you've been conditioned to believe about love. Your expectations for relationships were shaped by your past relationships. And in them, were you constantly overlooked?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Did love feel conditional? It's shaped by your childhood experiences. And in them, did you feel like you had to earn attention from caregivers? It's shaped by societal messaging. I wonder if you've ever been told that finding someone is the goal instead of finding the right someone.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
I recently interviewed Tasha Urich, one of the world's leading experts on self-awareness, and she said something that hit me hard. When we act based on what truly matters to us, we're more engaged, creative, and fulfilled, and can be of greater service to others. And that applies to love too. If you don't know what truly matters to you, how can you choose the right partner? You can't.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
You'll default to chasing approval instead of choosing from self-worth. Tasha's research shows that most people are out of touch with how their past influences their present choices. And this is especially true in relationships. We fall into patterns. We accept behaviors that feel normal, even if they don't feel good. But here's the wake-up call.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
If you've ever stayed in a relationship that wasn't serving you, It's not because you didn't see the red flags. It's because you were afraid to walk away. You didn't trust that something better was out there for you. But guess what? It is. And it starts with choosing yourself first. So if you're stuck in a cycle of chasing love instead of choosing it, here's a small shift to start today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Write down three qualities that make you a great partner.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
if this is hard for you ask yourself why do you believe you bring something valuable to a relationship or are you still waiting for someone else to tell you that you're worth loving this exercise isn't about ego it's about recognizing your own value before expecting someone else to so now i want to talk about the micro gains to build this mindset the way out of scarcity mindset and love isn't one big realization
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
It's a series of small, intentional choices that shift how you see yourself and your relationships. Try these. Do a self-worth audit and ask yourself, would I want to date me? If the answer is no, what needs to change? Second, identify your past relationship wounds. Things like rejection, abandonment, betrayal. And notice how they're shaping your choices today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
And then shift your focus from, do they like me? To, do I like how I feel around them? That one will change your entire approach to dating. So let's do a check-in on scarcity versus abundance and love. Scarcity mindset and love sounds like this. I hope they choose me. I don't want to be alone. I'll take what I can get.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
While abundance mindset and love sounds like this, I deserve to be with someone who values me. I trust that the right love will find me when I show up as my full self. If this isn't right, I'm strong enough to walk away. So ask yourself, am I dating from the fear of being alone, in other words, scarcity, or confidence in my worth, abundance? Because here's the truth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey there, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 576. Whether you've been here for a while or this is your first time, welcome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
The love that you want starts with you. And the moment you start believing that, everything changes. So let's now go into the choice to show up as your full self. Let's be honest. Dating today feels like a competition. Who gets the most likes? Who gets the most swipes? Who's following the right dating strategies?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Apps, social media, and modern dating culture have turned finding love into a numbers game. It's no longer about connection. It's about performance. And that is exhausting. But here's the truth. Love isn't something you win. It's something you build.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
But when you treat dating like a competition, when you focus on being chosen instead of being known, you set yourself up for relationships where you're constantly proving your worth instead of just being yourself. This brings us to the fallacy of dating rules and game playing. So let me ask you something. Have you ever waited to text someone back because you didn't want to seem too eager?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Have you ever played it cool even when you wanted to be honest about your feelings? Or have you ever been on a date and said what you thought the other person wanted to hear instead of what was actually on your mind? If you're nodding right now, you're not alone. Dating rules and strategies are everywhere. How to get someone to like you. How to make them chase you. How to win their attention.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
Here's the problem. These strategies aren't about creating meaningful relationships. They're about controlling perception. You know what that does? It attracts people who are only interested in the version of you that you're performing. not the real you. And that is a fast track to relationships that feel shallow, disconnected, and frustrating. Authenticity should be the strategy, not the tactic.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
I talked about this with John Kim and Vanessa Bennett in episode 230. two incredible relationship therapists who co-authored It's Not Me, It's You. John, known as the angry therapist, and Vanessa, a licensed therapist and relationship expert, coach people through some of the hardest relationship challenges. And one thing they both emphasized?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
The most common mistake people make in dating is trying to be liked instead of trying to be known. Vanessa put it perfectly. She told me I had gotten to a place where I said, I'm not going to date anybody anymore unless they're on the same page with me. And I remember my mom saying, Vanessa, you're really starting to limit your dating pool. And I was like, I don't care. I'd rather be single.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
That's the shift from chasing approval to choosing alignment. And then John shared how people put way too much weight on chemistry and attraction instead of emotional safety, communication, and self-awareness. He told me, if you don't have people doing this, the relationship can be very surface level. But eventually, over time, the plane goes down.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
In other words, if you're not showing up as your full self, the relationship is going to eventually crash. Let that sink in. Love isn't about how well you impress someone. It's about how well you can be yourself with them. So let me ask you, how often do you find yourself adjusting to impress someone?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Mattering in Love: Stop Settling—Choose Love That Sees You (Part 1) EP 576
When was the last time that you worried about being too much or too different instead of just being yourself? And have you ever convinced yourself to follow some dating rule even when it didn't feel right? Because the love you want won't come from playing a role. It comes from showing up fully as yourself and trusting that the right person will meet you at your level.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Coming up next on PassionStruck, what if everything you thought about success was backwards? What if the secret to achieving more isn't grinding harder or playing it safe, but something far simpler and often overlooked? In this episode, I'll explore a mindset that has propelled some of the world's most daring and accomplished people to extraordinary heights. It's not about luck or genius.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
List one activity that made you feel alive or engaged. For instance, cooking, solving a tough problem, or playing with your kids. Small wins. Write down one thing you accomplished, big or small. Maybe you sent that email you've been avoiding. finished a workout, or simply stayed calm during a stressful meeting? And then lastly, what did I control?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Reflect on something you handled intentionally, your attitude, how you reacted to stress, or the time you spent on what mattered most. At the end of the week, look back at your entries. Identify patterns. What consistently brings you joy? Where did you feel most in control? How can you prioritize these wins moving forward?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
By intentionally tracking joy and control, you'll reframe your focus and start noticing opportunities for happiness in your everyday life, even in the chaos. The second element in your playbook is how to feed your curiosity, turning what if into why not.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Curiosity was Branson's superpower, whether it was breaking into the record industry, starting an airline, or launching a hot air balloon across the Atlantic. His success came from a willingness to ask, what if I tried this, and why not me? So how can you do it? First, you need to take one small risk. Try something new, something that makes you just a little uncomfortable.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Start that project you've been overthinking. Explore a hobby without worrying about being good at it. Next, ask better questions. When faced with a problem, replace why me with what can I learn from this or what's the opportunity here? And then lastly, make time for curiosity. Build space in your life to explore. Read books, listen to podcasts, or meet people outside your usual circles.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Curiosity doesn't spark itself. You need to feed it. The important thing here that I want you to remember is that curiosity doesn't require certainty. It thrives on possibilities. Lean into the unknown and you'll discover opportunities you didn't even know existed. So I'm going to give you an exercise to do. Let's call it the curiosity experiment list.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
We talked about breaking barriers, setting bold goals, and the mindset it takes to pursue them. Then on Thursday, I had a fascinating conversation with Caroline Adams Miller, a leading expert on grit and goal setting. Caroline shared practical insights about how to set the kind of goals that stretch you, challenge you, and ultimately help you achieve lasting success.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
The objective here is to push yourself to make small, curiosity-driven risks and explore ideas, hobbies, or challenges without overthinking outcomes. So let's go through the steps. The first one is to create your why not list. I want you to write down five to ten small things you've been curious about but haven't pursued. Examples might include trying a new hobby like painting, yoga, or coding.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Starting a side project or passion initiative you've been postponing. Taking a class, listening to a new podcast, or reading a book on a topic that you know nothing about. It could be having a conversation with someone outside your usual circles or pitching that idea at work you've been hesitant to share. The next step is to set a timeline. Commit to trying one to two items on your list.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Keep it low pressure. This isn't about being good. It's about being curious. Then document the experience. After each experiment, reflect on these three prompts. What did I learn? How did it feel to try this? What new possibilities opened up? Then you rinse and repeat. Add to your list regularly and keep exploring. Let one why not inspire the next. And here's the outcome.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
By taking small, curiosity-driven risks, you'll train yourself to embrace uncertainty, enjoy discovery, and unlock opportunities that you've never expected. And now let's talk about the last element of your playbook, anchoring yourself in purpose, which is knowing your why. Purpose isn't about chasing big, lofty ideas. It's about connecting what you do to what matters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Branson didn't build Virgin just to make money. He built it to solve problems, to challenge norms, and to create something exciting. Purpose gave his risks meaning and his failures direction. So how can you do it? First, define what matters to you. Ask yourself, what kind of impact do I want to have? What values guide me? What problems excite me to solve?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
The important thing here to understand is that purpose doesn't have to be grand. It just has to resonate. Second, connect your tasks to meaning. Even the mundane can have purpose. Writing a report, it's not just a task, it's an opportunity to share an idea. Helping a coworker, it's not just about work, it's about connection. And then third, reframe failure as progress.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Purpose allows you to see setbacks not as dead ends, but as lessons. Keep your eye in the bigger picture and ask, what can this teach me? Purpose is what gets you up in the morning and keeps you going when the path gets tough. It transforms challenges into stepping stones and gives every effort a reason to matter. So here's an exercise on how you can anchor yourself in purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
We're going to call it the purpose map. The objective here is to clarify what matters most to you and connect your daily tasks to a greater sense of meaning. So let's go through the steps. First, define your values. Write down three to five core values that guide you. Examples could be growth, creativity, family, connection, impact. Second, identify your why.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Ask yourself, what kind of impact do I want to have? What problems excite me to solve? What activities make me feel fulfilled and aligned? Write a short statement of your purpose in one to two sentences. For example, I want to create work that inspires others to think differently and take action. Then third, connect tasks to purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
If you've ever wondered how to move from setting goals to actually achieving them, that episode is one you'll want to bookmark. If you've missed either of those episodes, I highly recommend you go back and give them a listen. They're filled with insights that perfectly complement what we're talking about today. For anyone new to the show, I've got a shortcut for you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
For the next week, before starting any task, pause and ask yourself, how does this align with my values? How can this contribute to my bigger why? For example, writing a report isn't just about meeting a deadline. It's about sharing ideas that add value. Answering emails isn't just busy work. It's about building trust and connection. Fourth, reframe setbacks.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
When you encounter failure or frustration, write down, what's the lesson here? How did this challenge help me grow or move closer to my purpose? And then fifth, reflect weekly. At the end of the week, review your tasks and ask, did I stay aligned with my purpose? What can I adjust next week to live more intentionally?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
The outcome here is by identifying your why and connecting it to everyday actions, you'll transform even mundane tasks into meaningful contributions, fueling resilience, focus, and satisfaction. Each exercise is about progress, not perfection. Start small, stay consistent, and let joy, curiosity, and purpose guide your actions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Over time, these habits will rewire how you approach challenges, opportunities, and success, just like Richard Branson. Now, take one step, choose an exercise, and start today. So wrapping up, if there's one thing Ranson's life teaches us, it's this. Success doesn't come from waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect plan, or the perfect circumstances.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It comes from the mindset you choose every single day. Ranson's story isn't about having all the answers or avoiding failure. It's about leaning into life with a sense of joy, following your curiosity wherever it leads, and anchoring yourself to a purpose that matters.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It's about building habits that allow you to see setbacks as stepping stones, challenges as opportunities, and progress as the real victory. And the best part? You don't need to start a global empire or fly a hot air balloon across the Atlantic to follow his playbook. You just need to redefine joy by focusing on what you can control and celebrate the small wins.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
By feeding your curiosity, take risks, ask questions, and explore without overthinking. And anchor yourself in purpose. Find your why and let it give meaning to your daily actions. Happiness isn't a reward waiting at the finish line. It's the fuel that gets you there. It's the thing that makes success not just possible, but worth it. So what's next? Take one step today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Choose to see joy in the process. Ask why not when you're tempted to play it safe. Connect your actions to something bigger than yourself. Because if Richard Branson could start from an unassuming English village, armed with nothing but optimism, curiosity, and resilience, then why not you? The choice is yours. Will you lean into life fully, or will you wait for happiness to just happen?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
With over 540 episodes, it's easy to get overwhelmed. That's why we've created Curated Starter Packs, organized around themes like leadership, grit, and personal growth. Head over to passionstruck.com slash starter packs or find them on Spotify to dive right into topics that matter most to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
As Branson's story shows us, the answer is simple. Stop waiting. Start choosing. And when you do, you might just find that success starts to follow. So go ahead. Take the leap. Build your playbook. Why not start now? If today's episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It's one of the simplest and most powerful ways to help others discover the show and join our mission to live with more intention, joy and purpose. And if you know someone who needs to hear the lessons from Richard Branson's incredible journey, share this episode with them. Together, we can spread the power of connection and resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
I'm passionate about bringing these lessons beyond the podcast. If you're looking to inspire your team, your organization, or your community through keynote speeches, workshops, or events, I'd love to partner with you. Visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking to learn more. For everything we discussed today, including links, resources, and more, head over to the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
And if you would like a written version of the playbook, then sign up for my newsletter and I'd be happy to send you one. Don't forget to watch the video versions of our podcast on the YouTube channel. And while you're there, hit subscribe so you'll never miss an episode or highlight. And if you want to support the show, check out our sponsors and exclusive deals at passionstruck.com slash deals.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Supporting those who support us helps us keep this content coming to you every single week. Before we go, here's a quick look at next week's episode. I'll be joined by Dr. Abraham George, founder of the George Foundation and Shanti Bhavan, a school transforming the lives of disadvantaged children in India.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Dr. George's mission to tackle poverty, inequality, and injustice is a masterclass in purpose-driven leadership and creating lasting impact. You won't want to miss this inspiring conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Thank you for choosing to spend your time with me today. Your commitment to learning, growing, and living a life of meaning inspires me every single day. I hope this episode has added value to your journey in reminding you that success isn't about waiting for happiness. It's about creating it. And remember, the fee for this show is simple.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
And if you're ready to take these ideas even further, sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. Each week, I'll send you practical strategies and insights to help you thrive with purpose and intention. And for those who prefer visuals, don't forget to check out the YouTube channel for highlights, episodes, and tools that make your growth journey even more engaging.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
If you found value here, share it with someone who might benefit. Until next time, keep leaning into joy, curiosity, and purpose. And as always, live life passionately.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Now let's talk about today's episode. If you've ever sat around wondering what it takes to be successful, you've probably thought about the usual suspects. Hard work. Intelligence. Strategy. Maybe even luck. And sure, those things matter. But there's a sneaky little factor that often gets left out of the equation. Happiness.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
yeah i know the self-help world has shoved just be happy down our throats so much that it's tempting to roll your eyes but hang tight because it's possible we've been flipping the script all wrong success doesn't create happiness happiness fuels success sounds a bit backwards right we've been conditioned to think that life works like this hustle like your hair is on fire achieve big important goals voila
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Happiness will reward you like some celestial participation trophy. But science and experience suggests otherwise. Some of the most accomplished people don't see happiness as a reward. They see it as a prerequisite, a driver, an edge. Richard Branson, for example. The guy practically turns work into a playground. Founding the Virgin Group was never just about building a business empire.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It's about how you show up every day and how you approach life's challenges. Stick around because by the end, you just might rethink the way you define success. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It was about living life fully, joyfully, and sometimes ridiculously. Branson launched Virgin Atlantic not just to disrupt airlines, but because it excited him. He attempted to break records in speedboats and hot air balloons, not to prove anything, but because, well, why the hell not? Life for Branson isn't just a series of achievements, it's a series of adventures. And here's the kicker.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Even when he failed, and he failed a lot, crash landings, business losses, mechanical disasters, He maintained a radical sense of optimism. He chose to laugh when he could have quit. He chose to enjoy the chaos. And that joy, that relentless enthusiasm became his competitive advantage. So instead of asking, how do I become successful so I can be happy? Maybe the better question is this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
How do I stay happy so I can become successful? counterintuitive, sure, but also incredibly powerful. In this episode, we're going to unpack the science of why happiness isn't just good for you, it's good for business, achievement, and resilience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
How Branson's joyful outlook became a cornerstone of his success, practical ways you can engineer happiness into your life, because it's not all sunshine and hot air balloons, and joy doesn't happen by accident. But before we dive in, let's clarify something important. What the heck do we actually mean when we say happiness? Is it bliss? Satisfaction? Purpose? Let's start there.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Before we start thinking about happiness as some magic fuel for success, we need to get clear on what it actually is. But let's face it, happiness is one of those words that gets thrown around like confetti at a wedding.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Nice to look at, but kind of a mess when you try to clean it up. So let's get this straight. Happiness isn't just about feeling good all the time. It's not sipping margaritas on a beach while your problems politely disappear. That's not happiness. That's a vacation, and a temporary one at that. Real happiness is more like a combination of three things. First, pleasure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Those bursts of joy that make life fun. A great meal. A solid laugh. A killer concert, which I love. These moments are important, but fleeting. Then there's engagement. The state of being so absorbed in something that you forget what time it is. You're focused. You're in flow. You're alive. Whether you're writing, playing basketball, or geeking out on a project.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
This is where you feel connected to what you're doing. And then there's meaning, the big one. It's the sense that your life, your work, and your time matter. It's about contributing to something larger than yourself, whether it's your family, a cause, or your own personal vision of what success looks like. When psychologists talk about happiness, they're not talking about one fleeting emotion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
They're talking about these three layers working together like gears in a well-oiled machine. When you have pleasure, engagement, and meaning, you've got the kind of happiness that doesn't just feel good. It fuels you. It keeps you going when things get tough. Now here's the twist. This kind of happiness isn't just a nice-to-have. performance enhancer.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Shawn Achor calls this the happiness advantage. Studies show that happier people aren't just more fun to be around. They're more productive, creative, and resilient. Their brains perform better. Their relationships are stronger. They handle stress like pros. In short, happiness makes you better at everything. Think about it this way.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
When you're happy, when you're engaged, when you're connected, when you're excited about life, you show up differently. You make better decisions. You take smarter risks. You bounce back faster from failure. And that's exactly what you need to succeed. So the next time you're tempted to put off happiness until after you've hit some arbitrary goal, remember this. Happiness isn't the finish line.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It's the fuel. The challenge, of course. is figuring out how to create this kind of happiness in your own life. Because let's be honest, it's not always easy to choose joy when your boss is a jerk, your deadlines are breathing down your neck, and you're two days deep into existential dread. So how do you make it real? How do you build happiness that lasts?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Not the fleeting, surface-level kind, but the deep, sustainable kind that actually drives you forward. The answer isn't about ignoring the tough stuff. It's about building habits that prioritize joy, curiosity, and purpose. The same tools that have shaped some of the world's most resilient and accomplished people. If there's one person who embodies this mindset, it's Richard Branson.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
If his life teaches us anything, it's that joy, curiosity, and purpose aren't fluffy concepts. They're the foundations of a life worth living. They're not something you wait for. They're something you cultivate. And Branson started building them early, shaped by experiences that most of us would call unconventional, even extreme.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Richard Branson didn't stumble into resilience and optimism by accident. His story starts in the English countryside, where his childhood was a crash course in mindset. His mother, Eve, was relentless in teaching him independence and resilience, sometimes through eyebrow-raising methods. Take this story. One day, she drove him miles away from home and told him to find his way back.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Not exactly helicopter parenting, but Branson's mother understood something critical. Confidence comes from struggle. Branson wasn't born with a silver spoon or a golden ticket. He was born with dyslexia, a challenge that made words and numbers feel like enemies. School became an uphill battle, and in any other household, he might have been labeled as a failure.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Instead, his parents flipped the script. They focused on what he could do, not what he couldn't. That mindset, shifting attention from limitations to opportunities, became a cornerstone of his life. Branson threw himself into sports with an infectious enthusiasm. He didn't just play, he excelled. Rugby, football, cricket. He captained all the teams. Then came the long jump.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
He'd never attempted it before, but on a whim, at age 10, he gave it a shot. Not only did he succeed, but he broke the school record. This wasn't about the record itself. It was about something bigger. The joy of trying.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
the thrill of discovering what's possible when you lean in give it a go and stop worrying about failure branson's success in sports wasn't just about competition it was about curiosity he approached new challenges with the simple question why not where others might hesitate afraid of looking foolish or failing Branson leaned in. That curiosity didn't stop on the field.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
It carried over into the rest of his life. School didn't work for him, but that didn't stop him from looking for other ways to thrive. Branson developed an insatiable interest in the world outside the classroom, people, problems, possibilities. As he grew older, that sense of curiosity led to his first entrepreneurial ventures.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
While his dyslexia made reading and organizing difficult, it also sharpened his ability to think differently. He had no interest in playing by the rules of the system. He wanted to find ways to work around them. And this started a pattern. He started seeing a problem where others saw no opportunity. He began asking, why not me, when others didn't dare.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
And he started taking action, even when the outcome was uncertain. Curiosity gave him an edge. It freed him from the trap of perfectionism and let him explore without the weight of expectation. Branson's early life was not a fairy tale. The world didn't hand him success. It handed him obstacles. Dyslexia could have been a reason to quit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Poor grades could have been proof that he wasn't smart enough. And later, his early ventures, like his first mail-order record business, were littered with setbacks. But here's the thing. Branson never let failure define him. Why? Because he had a clear sense of purpose. Even as a teenager, he was focused on creating, building, and solving problems that mattered to him.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
When his record business struggled, he didn't see failure as the end. He saw it as a lesson. Each setback fueled his next attempt. Every obstacle became a stepping stone towards something better. Branson wasn't just chasing money or status. He was chasing the process. He believed in the work he was doing, and that belief gave him the resilience to keep going when most people would have quit.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Now, let's go out there and become passion struck. Welcome back, everyone, to another Momentum Friday in episode 549. I'm thrilled to have you here. Whether you're a longtime listener or brand new to the show, this is where we challenge conventional thinking and explore what it means to live with intention, purpose, and impact.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Purpose was his anchor. It allowed him to weather failures because he wasn't tied to short-term results. He was focused on the bigger picture, building something meaningful, solving problems creatively, and living life on his own terms. So this leads to the science of happiness, the key to Branson's success.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Branson's story perfectly aligns with the principles outlined in Shawn Achor's The Happiness Advantage. Branson exemplified how happiness, optimism, and resilience could serve as powerful tools for success, even in the face of repeated setbacks. Rather than viewing happiness as a result of his achievements, he cultivated it as a driving force.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Studies like Akers Harvard Research and the work of Laura King, Sonja Libomirsky, and Ed Diener underscore the transformative power of positive emotions. Just as Branson used his joy, gratitude, and optimism to fuel his entrepreneurial spirit, these studies reveal that happiness isn't merely a byproduct of success, it's a precursor to it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Positive emotions spark creativity, resilience, and productivity, allowing individuals to thrive in the face of challenges, just as Branson did. Richard Branson's formative years were a masterclass in what it means to live fully, to find joy in what you can do, to follow your curiosity, and to stay anchored in a sense of purpose. He could have been weighed down by his dyslexia.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
He could have avoided risks out of fear of failure. Instead, he leaned into the discomfort, asked why not when others said no, and found meaning in the process of growth. So what does this mean for you? It means stop focusing on what you can't do. Start finding joy in what you can. Letting curiosity lead you. Try things. Explore ideas. Take chances. Stay anchored in purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Find what matters to you and let that guide your actions. Branson's story isn't about perfection or innate brilliance. It's about mindset. It's about habits. It's about choosing joy, curiosity, and purpose as a way of life. And if he could do it, starting from a small English town with no special advantages, why not you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
In the next section, I'll take these principles and break them down into practical, actionable habits you can start building today. Because happiness doesn't just happen, it's something you choose. So now that we've explored how Richard Branson turned joy, curiosity, and purpose into a way of life, the question becomes, how do you do the same?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Because let's face it, most of us aren't being dropped miles from home as resilience training. and we don't wake up with Branson's instinct to say, why not, when everyone else is saying, why bother? The good news, you don't need extreme experiences or larger-than-life adventures to cultivate these habits.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
You just need to take small, deliberate steps, steps that make joy, curiosity, and purpose a regular part of your everyday life. Here's how you can start building your own playbook. First, redefine joy by focusing on what you can control. Happiness doesn't come from waiting for the stars to align. It comes from finding joy in what's already within your grasp.
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Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
And today's episode dives into one of the most inspiring examples of all, the legendary Richard Branson. But before we dive in, let's talk about this week's incredible episodes. On Tuesday, I sat down with Miss America Madison Marsh, an Air Force pilot, humanitarian, and an exceptional example of what it looks like to chase audacious dreams with discipline and grace.
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Branson didn't dwell on his dyslexia or poor grades. He found joy in sports, in competition, and in every small victory he could create for himself. So how can you do it? First, identify what energizes you. What activities make you feel alive? It doesn't have to be groundbreaking. Maybe it's painting, cooking, or problem solving at work. Make time for those things daily, even in small doses.
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Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
Second, find wins in the process. Shift your focus from outcomes to effort. Whether you're running a business, writing a report, or learning something new, celebrate progress, not just perfection. Third, control the controllables. You can't change your boss, your deadlines, or traffic jams, but you can control your attitude, actions, and where you direct your attention. Prioritize those.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
The trick isn't to avoid challenges, it's to approach them with a mindset that allows you to find moments of joy, even in the chaos. So I'm going to give you an exercise. Let's call it the Daily Wins Journal. The objective here is to train your mind to notice and celebrate small victories, progress, and the things that you can control, bringing intentional joy to your day.
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Unlocking the Richard Branson Formula: Why Happiness Leads to Success | EP 549
So let's go through the steps. The first thing you're going to do is set up a journal. Create a simple log using a physical notebook or digital note with three sections. What energized me today? What small wins did I celebrate? And what did I control or improve? Then, at the end of each day, spend five to ten minutes writing answers to each section. What energized me?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Coming up next on PassionStruck. Imagine facing a crisis so intense that every second counts, a moment where decisions must be flawless, and every action could mean the difference between triumph and disaster. What would determine success or failure? Is it skill, luck, or something much deeper.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Regularly articulate how individual tasks move the team closer to achieving its goals. And it's also important to tie those goals to the larger mission or strategy of the company. Second, tell the story. Share examples of how the team's work has made a difference, reinforcing the real-world impact of their efforts. And then lastly, involve the team.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
On Tuesday, I was joined by Dr. Rick Hansen, who shared groundbreaking insights on how to hardwire happiness and resilience into our brains. His perspective on rewiring our mindset for greater well-being is one you don't want to miss. Then on Thursday, Dr. Adam Galinsky brought us a fascinating discussion about the dynamics of power, influence, and the art of speaking up.
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Invite team members to contribute ideas about how their roles can better align with the organization's mission. A way you can try this is at the start of a new project, spend five minutes discussing its purpose. Ask each team member to share how they see their role contributing to the larger mission.
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So now that I've explored the practical strategies for leaders to build a culture of mattering through the eyes-on, hands-off leadership framework, Let us take an in-depth look at how this essential culture can be continuously maintained. Because building a culture of mattering is only the beginning. Like any thriving garden, it requires ongoing care, adjusting for changing conditions,
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Removing weeds that threaten growth and ensuring the soil remains fertile for new ideas and opportunities. Captain Sully Sullenberger didn't just build trust with his team, he sustained it through consistent action. The recognition that empowered the flight attendants didn't emerge overnight, it was cultivated through deliberate practice.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And the shared purpose that united everyone on Flight 1549 wasn't an accident. it was reinforced in every interaction before those engines failed. As leaders, we face the same challenge. Once a culture of mattering is established, how do we ensure it continues to grow? How do we adapt our leadership to meet new challenges while preserving the principles that make extraordinary outcomes possible.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Let's examine these three key strategies. The first is staying vigilant without micromanaging. In Gartner leadership, the balance between eyes on and hands off is a constant dance. Leaders must remain aware of what's happening on the ground without stifling their teams with overbearing oversight. Sully exemplified this balance when he delegated the emergency checklist to his co-pilot.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
He didn't hover or second guess. He trusted the system that they'd built together, knowing his focus was best directed elsewhere. So I want to explore how to stay vigilant. The first step is to develop a feedback loop. So a way to do this is a regular check-in with your team. Not to dictate, but instead to listen. You can ask, what's working? What's getting in your way?
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Then the second thing you can do is something that I have used throughout my career, and that's to trust, then verify. Empower your team to take ownership while using data, observation, or touch points to ensure alignment with broader goals. And then lastly, adapt as needed.
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The reality is conditions change, so you need to be ready to shift focus or provide additional support when the situation calls for it. The second strategy we need to employ to ensure that the culture of mattering continues to grow is to maintain energy through recognition. Recognition is a powerful tool, but like anything, it can lose its impact if it becomes routine or shallow.
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To sustain its effect, recognition must evolve. becoming more meaningful and tied to the evolving challenges and successes of the team or organization. On Flight 1549, recognition wasn't limited to a job well done during the crisis. Sully's post-event acknowledgement of every crew member's role cemented their shared success and highlighted the importance of their contributions.
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Here are some ways to keep recognition fresh. The first step is to evolve the rituals. As your team grows or changes, it's important to adapt how you celebrate achievements. What worked for five people may not resonate with 20 or 50 or 100. The second step is to recognize growth. Celebrate progress, not just results.
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If you've ever struggled to find your voice or navigate tough conversations, his advice is truly transformational. And if you haven't listened yet to last week's solo episode, we explored how to unlock the extraordinary power of hope in shaping our lives and communities. That episode ties beautifully into the themes of today's discussion, so I highly recommend checking it out.
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Acknowledge the effort that leads to learning, even if the outcome isn't perfect. And third, be public but personal. Recognition should inspire the group, but also resonate deeply within the individual. Tailor your approach to each of their unique contributions. And then the last strategy that we can adopt to continue fostering a culture of mattering is to keep purpose relevant.
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Shared purpose is a dynamic force. But it can grow still if left unchecked. Teams need reminders of why their work matters and how it connects to the organization's broader mission. Keep in mind that purpose isn't a destination, but a journey. The composure of the passengers on Flight 1549 reflected a collective understanding of purpose. In this case, survival.
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But beyond that, it highlighted how Sully's calm communication aligned everyone around a single mission. So here are some ways to reignite purpose. The first is to revisit the story. Share new examples of how your team's work is making an impact. Show them that their efforts matter in real and tangible ways. Second, involve the team in the vision. Ask for their input on how to evolve the mission.
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People are more engaged when they feel ownership over the purpose. And then lastly, connect the dots. Regularly tie daily tasks back to the larger goals, reinforcing the importance in the bigger picture. What I have learned throughout my entire 30-year career is that leadership is a seasonless practice.
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And the miracle on the Hudson reminds us that leadership doesn't stop when the crisis ends or when a culture of mattering is established. The work of sustaining trust, recognition, and purpose is never complete. It's a reoccurring practice requiring constant attention and adaptation. So as you reflect on your own leadership, ask yourself,
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Am I staying aware of what's happening without stifling my team's growth? How can I keep recognition fresh and meaningful? And lastly, what am I doing to ensure that our shared purpose remains clear and relevant? Because the best gardens aren't just planted. They're nurtured for years to come. And the best leaders aren't just there for the extraordinary moments.
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They're there consistently in the ordinary ones. So I've discussed a lot today. I hope I've demonstrated throughout today's episode that the miracle on the Hudson isn't just a story of survival. It's a story of preparation, culture, and leadership. In society, we often marvel at the extraordinary moment, the plane gliding on the icy river.
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passengers standing on the wings, and Captain Sullenberger's steady voice guiding everyone to safety. But the core lesson lies beneath the surface. In the months following the incident, Sully reflected on how he managed to make such a flawless water landing. For 42 years, he said, I've been making small, regular deposits in this bank of experience, education, and training.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
For those of you new to the show, welcome to the Passion Struck family. With over 560 episodes, I know it can be overwhelming to decide where to start, but we've got you covered. Visit passionstruck.com slash starter packs or explore our curated playlists on Spotify covering topics like alternative health, leadership, resilience, emotional health, and personal growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And on January 15, the balance was sufficient so that I could make a very large withdrawal. His words capture something fundamental about leadership. The extraordinary isn't improvised. It's built on years of small, deliberate actions, each one reinforcing trust, recognition, and purpose. So here is the key lesson for leaders.
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Sully's response reminds us that leadership isn't about dramatic gestures or commanding moments. It's about tending to the day-to-day interactions that build a culture of mattering. It's about creating an environment where others feel valued, trusted, and empowered to excel, not just in crises, but in the quieter challenges of daily life. This idea is the essence of Gardner leadership.
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a concept rooted in eyes-on, hands-off leadership. Leaders who embody this style focus on cultivating the conditions for growth, planting the seeds of trust, watering the roots of recognition, and ensuring the light of purpose shines on every individual. But building this culture isn't enough. Like Sully, we must continuously invest in it, making small, intentional deposits,
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that strengthen the bonds of our teams and communities over time. A culture of mattering doesn't happen by chance. It's built through small, deliberate actions. Trust grows when leaders empower others to take ownership. Recognition fuels confidence and motivates teams to perform at their best, and shared purpose transforms individual actions into collective success.
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These principles don't just prepare teams for extraordinary moments. They sustain them through the challenges of daily life. Everyday deposits lead to extraordinary dividends. So consider the deposits you're making in your relationships, teams, and communities. Are you taking time to ensure others feel seen and valued?
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The kindness of a quick thank you, the acknowledgement of a colleague's hard work, or the thoughtful encouragement of a friend. These actions create the trust and connection that allow teams to thrive. Just as Sully relied on decades of preparation, leaders who cultivate a culture of mattering ensure that when the moment comes,
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They and their teams have the resilience, confidence, and clarity to succeed. The miracle on the Hudson didn't just show us what happens in a crisis. It shows us what happens when a culture of mattering meets its moment. Trust wasn't improvised, recognition wasn't an afterthought, and shared purpose wasn't a lucky coincidence.
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These principles, built and sustained through deliberate leadership, are the true legacy of Flight 1549. They challenge us to reflect on our own leadership. Are we creating environments where trust flourishes? Are we recognizing the contributions of those around us in the ways that matter? And are we consistently reinforcing purpose to align and inspire our teams?
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Sully's reflection challenges us to think about the deposits we're making in our own leadership bank. Are we preparing ourselves and our teams for the moments that matter most? Leadership, like gardening, is a daily practice. It requires small, consistent efforts to nurture trust, recognize contributions, and reinforce purpose.
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These resources are designed to help you kickstart your journey of intentional living. And while you're there, don't forget to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter. Each week, I share actionable strategies and thought-provoking insights that to help you thrive in all areas of your life.
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These actions may feel insignificant in the moment, but over time, they build the foundation for extraordinary outcomes. So as you move throughout your day, who needs to know you trust them? Whose efforts deserve recognition? And how can you remind your team of the larger purpose behind their work?
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Because when the moment comes, whether it's a crisis, a challenge, or an opportunity, you'll find that the culture you've cultivated will rise to meet it. What small deposit will you make today? And that's a wrap for today's episode.
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I hope my exploration of the miracle on the Hudson and the power of creating a culture of mattering has inspired you to reflect on your leadership and how you empower others to feel valued. Extraordinary outcomes don't just happen by chance. They're built on trust, recognition, and purpose, starting with you.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
If today's episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to leave a five-star rating and review. Your support helps others discover the show and join us on this journey of intentional living and impactful leadership. Do you know a leader or someone else in your life who could benefit from these insights? Share this episode with them.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Together, we can amplify the ripple effects of these lessons and create meaningful change in our workplaces, communities, and lives. If you're ready to bring these ideas to life within your team or organization, I'd love to work with you. Through keynote speeches, workshops, and events, I help leaders ignite purpose, foster resilience, and cultivate cultures of mattering.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Visit JohnRMiles.com slash speaking. to learn how we can partner for your next event. And if you haven't taken our Passion Start quiz yet, it's designed to help you uncover your unique drivers of purpose and passion. Whether you're navigating a new season or seeking clarity in your goals, this quiz will help provide insights. You can find it at passionstruck.com.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And as always, for links, resources, and takeaways from today's episode, as well as a guide where you can explore how to implement a culture of mattering into your organization, head over to the show notes at passionstruck.com. You can also watch the video version of this episode on our YouTube channel. Don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel for highlights and exclusive content designed to inspire and empower you. Now, let's get into today's episode. The morning of January 15, 2009 began like any other winter day in New York City. Cold, brisk, and unventful.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Before we go, here's a sneak peek at next week's episode. I'll be joined by Dan Heath, the acclaimed author of Switch and Upstream. We'll be diving into his latest book, Reset, which explores how we can rethink and redesign systems to solve complex challenges. It's a powerful conversation packed with actionable insights. You won't want to miss it.
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Thank you for spending your time with me today. Your commitment to growing, learning, and leading with intention inspires me every single day. Remember, the smallest acts of recognition, trust, and purpose can transform lives, including your own. Until next time, keep striving to make every moment matter. And as always, live life passion strong.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
It was the kind of day where you pull your coat tighter, keep your head down against the wind, and go about your routine without much thought. At LaGuardia Airport, 155 passengers and crew boarded U.S. Airways flight 1549, settling into their seats as they prepared for a short flight to Charlotte. Some made small talk with seatmates, while others stared out the window, lost in their thoughts.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
But within minutes, their lives would be forever changed in ways no one could have ever anticipated. What followed in those 208 seconds is now the stuff of legend. After both engines failed, following a collision with a flock of geese, Captain Chesley Sully Sullenberger guided the powerless aircraft to a water landing on the Hudson River, saving every life on board.
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In today's episode, we uncover the surprising force behind one of the most extraordinary moments in modern history and how you can harness it to transform the way you lead. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles.
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How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
The press called it the miracle on the Hudson, praising Sully's skill, calm under pressure, and quick thinking. Beyond the headlines, a deeper story emerges.
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one that goes beyond sully's technical expertise how did an entire team pilot co-pilot flight attendants and even passengers perform with such composure under unimaginable pressure the answer lies in something larger the culture of mattering that defined this moment it was a belief shared across the plane a deeply ingrained understanding that every action and decision carried significance.
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This culture wasn't born in those 208 seconds. It was built long before, through the leadership Sully embodied, the trust he cultivated, and the empowerment he fostered within his team. It was a testament to the quiet power of mattering in leadership. When people feel valued, when they know their efforts make a difference, remarkable things happen. Flight 1549 is proof of this truth.
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16 years later, the lessons of the miracle on the Hudson remain as relevant as ever. They remind us how a culture of mattering can transform not only crisis situations, but also the way we lead, collaborate, and connect in our daily lives. In this episode, I'll explore how the power of mattering and leadership can save lives, strengthen teams, and create extraordinary outcomes,
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in the everyday moments that matter most. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. The Miracle on the Hudson wasn't just a survival story. It was a story about preparation.
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Long before the engines failed, before the plane glided silently over New York City, a foundation had been laid. Captain Sully Sullenberger wasn't just a pilot. He was a gardener, tending to a culture of trust, respect, and shared purpose, one interaction at a time. This wasn't the kind of culture you could measure with metrics or charts.
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And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
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It was built in small, almost invisible ways, like the way Sully treated his co-pilot as an equal, the way he spoke with calm authority to his crew, and the way he fostered an environment where every individual felt their role mattered. His leadership style wasn't flashy. It was intentional, like that of a gardener. Take Sully's relationship with his first officer, Jeffrey Skiles.
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Despite being their first flight together, their coordination was seamless. And this wasn't luck. Sully's leadership philosophy emphasized preparation and trust. Values reinforced in every training, every conversation, and every day on the job. That foundation ensured that when the crisis hit, Sully and Skiles didn't need to think about trust. because it was already there.
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This culture extended beyond the cockpit. The flight attendants knew their roles weren't just about serving drinks or offering smiles. They were valued as critical members of the team. When Sully modeled respect and trust, It rippled outward, creating a workplace where everyone believed their contributions mattered. The miracle on the Hudson wasn't built in 208 seconds. It was built over decades.
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And the real lesson lies in understanding how those deliberate, everyday actions laid the groundwork for an extraordinary outcome. So let's explore the hidden forces behind the miracle on the Hudson. When the engines failed, Flight 1549 was transformed from an ordinary commuter flight into a test of human resilience and leadership.
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In those 208 seconds, a series of decisions and actions unfolded with astonishing precision. What made this possible were the hidden forces at play, the culture of mattering, trust, and shared purpose,
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that had been cultivated over time picture this the sound of birds hitting the engines then the sharp silence as both engines failed and the sinking realization in the cockpit in that moment sully turned to skiles not with panic but with purpose He trusted Skiles to manage the emergency procedures, while he focused entirely on the trajectory of the plane. That trust wasn't improvised.
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It was a muscle that they had both exercised through years of preparation and a shared understanding of their roles. In the cabin, the flight attendants moved swiftly. They weren't just following instructions. They were taking ownership. They calmed passengers. gave clear directions, and prepared for impact, all with a sense of authority that turned fear into focus.
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Their actions reflected a workplace where their roles were respected and their contributions valued. Even the passengers were part of this culture. They listened. They followed instructions. They helped one another don life vests and evacuate the plane in an orderly fashion. Panic could have derailed everything, but the collective sense of purpose kept chaos at bay. These hidden forces, trust,
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respect, shared purpose, were like the roots of a tree, invisible yet vital. They allowed the crew and passengers to function as one cohesive unit in the most terrifying of circumstances. The Miracle on the Hudson wasn't just about Scully's skill or the crew's training. It was about a culture that empowered ordinary people to achieve something extraordinary.
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So let's explore the anatomy of mattering. What does it take to build a culture where people rise to extraordinary challenges? How do leaders cultivate the trust, recognition, and shared purpose that transform Flight 1549 into the miracle on the Hudson? First, trust begins at the top. Sully didn't rely on control to lead. He relied on collaboration.
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We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Welcome back everyone to another Momentum Friday and episode 561 of Passion Struck.
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His trust in First Officer Jeffrey Skiles was evident as he delegated critical tasks during the crisis. This wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision. It reflected years of practice in creating an environment where roles were clearly defined and people were empowered to take ownership.
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Sully trusted his team to perform their best, even under unimaginable pressure, and that trust became the foundation of their success. Second, recognition fuels confidence. The flight attendants acted with calm precision, preparing passengers and maintaining order, not because they were told to, but because they believed their actions mattered. This belief didn't appear overnight.
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It was the result of a workplace culture where their contributions were valued day in and day out. When people know their work is seen and appreciated, they develop the confidence to step up, especially in high-stakes moments. And third, shared purpose unites teams. The passengers' composure wasn't simply a testament to their individual bravery. It was a reflection of a collective understanding.
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From Sully's calm voice in the cockpit to the flight attendant's clear instructions, every action reinforced a shared purpose, survival. This clarity of mission transformed a diverse group of strangers into a unified team, where even the smallest actions carried weight and meaning. The miracle on the Hudson reminds us that extraordinary outcomes are never the result of chance.
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They are built on small, deliberate actions that foster trust, instill confidence, and align people around a common goal. These principles aren't limited to life or death situations. they are the foundation of any high-functioning team, whether in the cockpit, the boardroom, or the classroom. This leads to a vital question. How can we apply these lessons to our own lives and leadership?
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In the next section, we'll explore how leaders and teams can build their own culture of mattering, one intentional step at a time. The Miracle on the Hudson offers a roadmap for creating cultures where people thrive, not just in moments of crisis, but in the everyday challenges that define our lives.
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This approach to leadership is closely aligned with what I call Gardner leadership in my book Passion Struck. Like Captain Sullenberger, leaders who embrace this style focus on tending to their teams, cultivating trust, and empowering others to flourish.
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Gartner leadership operates on the philosophy of eyes on, hands off, staying deeply aware of the details while giving team members the freedom and trust to take ownership of their roles. It's not about controlling every element of your organization. It's about shaping the environment so that your team can succeed, even in high-pressure moments.
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Let's explore how leaders can adopt the principles of trust, recognition, and shared purpose within the framework of eyes-on, hands-off leadership. First, trust isn't given, it's built. When Sully trusted Jeffrey Skiles to handle the emergency checklist, It wasn't a leap of faith. It was a practiced habit. Sully understood that trust isn't built with words. It's built through consistent actions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Delegating responsibility isn't about relinquishing control. It's about empowering others to contribute their best. In Gardner leadership, trust is cultivated through small, deliberate acts of empowerment. It's the equivalent of planting seeds and trusting they'll grow. You prepare the soil, provide support, and step back to let the team take root. So how can you learn to build trust?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Whether you're a loyal listener or joining us for the first time, I am so glad you're here. This is the space where we challenge the status quo, explore intentional living, and uncover the keys to leading a life full of purpose, passion, and impact. Before we dive into today's episode, let's take a moment to reflect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
The first step is to delegate with intention. Start small by assigning tasks that challenge team members to grow. Pair delegation with support, ensuring they feel empowered, but not abandoned. Second, foster transparency. Share the why behind decisions and goals. When people understand the reasoning, trust naturally follows. Third, create accountability.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
When someone takes ownership and succeeds, acknowledge their effort. If they fall short, work together to learn and improve. Try this. At your next meeting, delegate a high visibility task to someone who hasn't had the spotlight before. Frame it as an opportunity to stretch their skills and show your confidence in their abilities.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And this leads us to the second element of the framework of eyes-on, hands-off leadership. Recognition fuels confidence. The flight attendants on Flight 1549 acted with calm authority because they knew their contributions mattered. Recognition wasn't an occasional pat on the back. It was a consistent reinforcement of their value.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
In Gardner leadership, recognition is the fertilizer that allows growth to happen. When leaders acknowledge contributions, no matter how small, they create an environment where individuals feel valued and confident in their abilities. So how can you learn to foster recognition? First, you need to be specific.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
Generic praise like saying good job is less impactful than calling out a specific achievement, such as your attention to detail on the client report clarified our next steps. Thank you. The next thing you have to do is to make it regular. Recognition shouldn't be a one-off. This is where rituals come in, like starting team meetings by highlighting contributions that normalize acknowledgement.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And then lastly, encourage peer recognition. Cultivate a culture where colleagues celebrate each other's efforts. It reinforces the idea that recognition isn't just a leader's job. So, consider trying this. At the end of the week, send a short, personalized message to each team member, highlighting one thing that they did well. Over time, these small actions add up to a culture of recognition.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
And the third element that I wanted to explore in the framework of eyes-on, hands-off leadership is why shared purpose creates unity. On flight 1549, shared purpose turned a group of strangers into a team. Passengers didn't just follow instructions, they acted with composure, helping one another because they understood they were part of something bigger.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How a Culture of Mattering Created the Miracle on the Hudson | EP 561
In Gardner leadership, purpose is the vision that ties every action to the broader mission. It's what inspires a gardener to keep tending, even through setbacks. Leaders who articulate a shared purpose create alignment, focus, and motivation within their teams. So here's how to cultivate shared purpose in your environment. First, connect roles to impact.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Then on Thursday, I spoke with Bryant Wood, a former model and bodybuilder turned breathwork expert, about the power of vulnerability, emotional healing, and the importance of redefining masculinity. If you've ever struggled with connection or self-worth, His insights will change how you think about personal growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Now, today's episode is something a little different, and I think you're going to love it. Instead of our regular format with me doing a solo episode, I'm bringing you an episode from a show I truly admire, System Catalyst, which is hosted by my friend Jeff Walker, who you might remember from PassionStruck episode 99 and English Sol.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
System Catalyst tells the stories of changemakers who put their egos aside to transform the systems that shape our world. In this episode, Jeff sits down with Kerry Jo Grimes, known as CJ, the founder of WorkMoney, a nonprofit with over 8.1 million members that's dedicated to helping Americans save money, increase their financial security, and improve their well-being. Today's episode, here's
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
and what we can do about it. And finally, the power of listening, how work money success.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversations from our friends at System Catalysts. CJ Grimes' insights on financial well-being, economic security, and the power of listening to create meaningful change remind us that real impact happens when we meet people where they are.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Her leadership over work money is a testament to how intentional action and community-driven solutions can transform lives. And I hope it left you as inspired as it did me. As we wrap up, take a moment to reflect. What does financial security mean to you? Not just in numbers, but in emotions and freedom.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
How can we use our collective strength to build systems that truly support people, not just economies? And how do you take action today, whether in your own life or in your community? to create a more secure, purpose-driven future. If you found this episode valuable, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Your support helps fuel the PassionStruck mission and ensures we continue bringing you thought-provoking conversations like this one. And if you know someone who could benefit from CJ's insights, share this episode with them. It could be the spark they need. For all the resources we discussed today, including more from System Catalyst and Work Money, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Want to dive deeper into intentional living? then subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com, where I share exclusive insights, tools, challenges, and strategies every week to help you live with greater clarity and purpose. You can catch video versions of all our episodes and more on our YouTube channels. Head over to John R. Miles and Passion Struck Clips on YouTube.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Hit subscribe and join our growing community of impact-driven thinkers. And if today's discussion sparked ideas for your organization or team, let's bring these insights to life. I speak with companies, leadership teams, and conferences about creating intentional change. Visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
On Tuesday, I'm sitting down with bestselling author Nir Eyal, the expert on habit formation, focus, and mastering distractions. If you've ever felt like your attention is constantly being hijacked, Nir will show you how to take back control and become truly indistractable. You won't want to miss it, so make sure you're subscribed and ready for another transformative conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
is driven by deeply understanding its members and meeting their real needs this is an inspiring conversation about how to create meaningful impact at scale and i'm honored to share it with you today if you enjoy this episode be sure to check out systems catalyst and follow the link in the show notes to explore more of their incredible work Now let's dive in.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value today, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change. Action does. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Here's Jeff Walker's conversation with CJ Grimes on System Catalyst. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 585.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I am so excited you're here. You've joined a global movement dedicated to unlocking human potential, creating intentional change and making what truly matters, matter most. Before we dive in, let's take a moment to reflect on some of the incredible conversations we've had this week.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Carrie Joy Grimes on How to Break Free from Financial Insecurity | EP 585
On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Lori Santos, the all-professor and host of the Happiness Lab podcast. to explore why happiness isn't just about personal joy, but about feeling like we matter. We broke down the biggest misconceptions about happiness and why our pursuit of success and convenience often leaves us more disconnected than fulfilled.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Coming up next on Passion Struck. You work hard, you show up, you give everything you've got. And yet, why does it sometimes feel like none of it makes a difference? Why does it feel like you could walk out tomorrow and aside from a grief goodbye email, nothing would change? You're not alone. And here's the shocking truth. The reason people check out isn't what you think.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
If you want to know whether you're the kind of leader people will remember, the kind of leader people will fight to work for, then this is what you need to measure. It ended up becoming four different questions that profoundly changed the way that I think about leadership. It starts with the first question. Do you believe your leadership matters? Let's start with you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Because if you don't believe that what you do matters, why should anyone else? And this leads me to a story. As I was transitioning from my job at Dell, I had the opportunity to interview at Microsoft to become their chief information officer. And at the time, Steve Ballmer was leading the company. And it was pretty shocking what I discovered during my interview process.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
The people I encountered throughout the interview process, all they cared about were numbers. I never heard anyone talking about culture. I never heard anyone talk about values. I never heard anyone talk about a psychologically rich environment where they were being allowed to grow. And then during that interview process, I met someone who was completely different than the rest.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
It was Satya Nadella. And while I was interviewing with him, he told me that Microsoft was a shell of what it used to be. But he believed that there was a possibility to transform their culture and become the company that they once were. And as we've seen with Satya's work now as the CEO of Microsoft, he has completely transformed Microsoft's culture.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
When he took over in 2014, the company, as I saw it, was stagnant. Employees were stuck in silos. Innovation was slow and engagement was low. So what did he do? He focused on one thing. One thing that Carol Dweck pioneered. growth mindset. He shifted the culture from know-it-all to learn-it-all. He made curiosity, learning, and people development part of Microsoft's DNA. And guess what happened?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Tuesday, Dr. Shige Owishi joined me to explore a psychologically rich life, why success isn't just about happiness or achievement, but about collecting meaningful, diverse experiences. Thursday, I sat down with Katherine Morgan Schaffler, broke down the truth about perfectionism, why it's not something to fix, but something to master.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Microsoft's stock tripled, innovation skyrocketed, and employees started believing in their work again. That's what personal mattering looks like. If you're disengaged, exhausted, and running on autopilot, your team will be too. But if you lead from a place of purpose, clarity, and impact, your team will follow. Now let's turn this back to you. Do you wake up with a sense of purpose?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Are you leading in alignment with your core values? Are you creating an environment where people don't just perform, but actually thrive? Because how you show up sets the tone for your team. In fact, 58% of employees say they wish their workplace has surveyed engagement more often. And here's why that matters. If you're not paying attention, you're not leading. And here's what I've also learned.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
The way you feel about your own leadership is contagious. So this leads to a leadership challenge that I want to take you through. I want you to take 60 seconds. You can pause the podcast right now. Write down one sentence that describes the impact you believe that you're making. Be honest. Does it feel true or does it feel like something you're still working toward?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And this leads to the second question we need to ask ourself to understand the four core dimensions of leadership. Do the people you lead feel seen, heard, and valued? Now, let's talk about your team. The best leaders don't just drive results. They create a culture where people feel valued. 37% of employees say recognition is the number one thing that drives them.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
51% of employees who receive consistent recognition would highly recommend their company as a great place to work. And I don't just mean recognized. I mean truly seen. Jeff Bezos once said, Invention requires a willingness to be misunderstood for a long time. Amazon thrives because people feel safe to challenge ideas. But guess what?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
That doesn't happen unless leaders create a culture where people feel seen, heard, and valued. But here's what happens when people feel invisible. They stop contributing. They stop speaking up. They start thinking, why bother? And that's how you lose your best people. Not because they dislike their job, but because they feel like their voice doesn't matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And this leads me to Pixar, where Ed Catmull introduced a system called brain trust, a process where junior animators and senior directors all had an equal voice. Why did Ed do this? Because at Pixar, everyone's ideas mattered. And that's why Pixar didn't just make movies. They made masterpieces. If you're serious about becoming a leader people want to work for, ask yourself this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Do your employees feel comfortable sharing their ideas with you? And then ask yourself... How often do you acknowledge their contributions? Not just results, but the effort behind the results. And then lastly, do your people feel heard? Because if they don't, they're already checking out. So let me give you a leadership challenge where you can practice this. At your next meeting, try this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And today, we're shifting the focus, because what if the missing piece isn't just about personal fulfillment, but about how we lead and how we're led? So let me ask you something. Have you ever busted your ass at work, poured everything into a project, only to feel like no one noticed? Like your ideas don't land. Like you're invisible. Like you could disappear tomorrow.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Instead of talking first, ask your team, what do you think? And if their idea is great, then say so. Because sometimes the smallest acknowledgement is all it takes for someone to stay engaged. And this leads us to the third question for measuring your leadership impact. Does your workplace create a sense of ownership? Because mattering isn't just an individual experience.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And this is so important to understand. It has to be built into the culture. But here's the thing. People don't just want a paycheck. They don't just want a job title. They want to know their work is leading somewhere. Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks, understood this better than anyone. Starbucks wasn't just a coffee company. He built a community. He gave his baristas stock options.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
He called them partners, not employees. And what happened? Employee turnover dropped. Customer loyalty exploded. Starbucks became one of the most successful brands in history because when people feel like they matter, they show up differently. So here's the question you need to ask yourself. Do your employees feel that kind of ownership?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Because if they don't feel ownership, you're going to lose them. So here's a leadership challenge that you can implement. When I was at Dell, one of the metrics that we were fanatical about was net promoter score.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And when it comes to employee engagement, there's something called employee net promoter score, which is a metric that measures how likely employees are to recommend their company to others. It's one of the strongest indicators of whether people feel like they matter at work. The Employee Net Promoter Score Survey asks one simple question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
On a scale of 0 to 10, how likely is it that your employees are going to recommend your company's products and services to others? Some companies like to be more specific and ask, would you recommend it to a friend's colleague or family member? If they answer 9 to 10, they're a promoter. If they answer 0 to 6, then they're a detractor.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Promoters are your most positive, motivated, and satisfied people. Detractors are people who won't recommend your business and are unhappy and disengaged. So if your employee net promoter score is low, if you have a lot of detractors, it's time to stop optimizing for productivity and start optimizing for purpose. And then this leads to maybe the most important question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Will the impact that you are creating outlive you? This is the final piece. And honestly, it's the one most leaders miss. Because leadership isn't just about what happens while you're in charge. It's about what remains after you're gone. And this leads me to a couple important statistics. Only 29% of employees feel satisfied with career growth opportunities.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And 44% of employees say that they're very satisfied when their skills are being developed. If you're not developing people, you're losing them. So let's turn this back to you. Are you mentoring and developing future leaders? Will the values you've instilled continue long after you leave? And finally, does your leadership extend beyond your company to your industry? community, or society.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Because here's the reality. People don't just want a paycheck. They don't just want a title. They want to grow. And that means if you want to be a leader, people remember you need to be investing in them today. And this brings us to another leadership challenge. I want to ask you something really profound. If you left tomorrow, what would your team say about you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
If they were going to write it down, what would they remember about the way that you made them feel? And if the answer they're writing down isn't the one that you want to define your legacy, then it's time to change. Because if you don't define your leadership legacy, someone else will. So now I want to tell you a story about Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And aside from an awkward goodbye email, nothing would change. That feeling, that's what makes people check out. And it's not about paychecks. It's not about promotions. It's not even about job security. People don't quit jobs. They quit when they stop feeling like they matter. And yet most leaders are so focused on numbers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Blakely started with an idea, a prototype, and a mission. No fancy MBA, no venture capital, just what Angela Duckworth calls grit. But here's what set her apart. She made sure every employee, from product development to warehouse workers, knew exactly why their work mattered. She personally called her first customers.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
She celebrated small wins, and she created a company where people didn't just work, they felt connected to something bigger. Because when people feel like they matter, they give everything. everything. And what happened? Spanx became a billion-dollar empire. Her employees were fiercely loyal, and she was the youngest self-made female billionaire in history.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Not because she had the best business plan, but because she understood if people feel like they matter, they will go all in. So this begs the question, how are you measuring up? We have been measuring leadership all wrong. We track numbers. We analyze performance. We optimize for efficiency.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
But the leaders who create real impact, the ones like Jay Skibinski, Satya Nadella, Howard Schultz, and Sarah Blakely, they're the ones who are remembered decades later. And they aren't the ones who just hit targets. They're the ones who saw people. who stretched them, who made them believe in themselves before they even believed in themselves. That's what leadership is about.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And if you want to be that kind of leader, start by asking yourself these four questions. Do I believe my work matters? Do my people feel valued? Am I building a culture of ownership? And will my impact outlive me? because this is the real test of leadership. Not just what you achieve, but how deeply you make others feel that they matter. Now it's over to you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
It's time to measure yourself and decide what kind of leader will you be. This brings us to the challenge of the week. I'm going to challenge you to rate yourself on how you measure up on the lessons from today's podcast. Because here's the deal. If you're leading, you're already being measured, whether you realize it or not. So let's get real. I want you to go through these four questions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And after you hear them, I'm going to ask you to score yourself. The first question is, do you lead with purpose? The second question is, do your people feel valued? The third question is, does your culture encourage ownership? And then the fourth question is, are you building leaders who outlast you?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Now, I'm going to go through these questions one more time, and I want you to score yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. Do your people lead with purpose? Do your people feel valued? Does your culture encourage Encourage ownership. And are you building leaders who outlast you? And then as you evaluate your scores, ask yourself, where do you need to grow? Because this isn't just a podcast.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
This is your wake-up call. And if you're leading a team, it's time to step up. DM me on Instagram right now with one thing you're changing this week. No excuses. No waiting. Do it now. Because people don't quit jobs. They quit leaders. And the real question is, are you the type of leader they fight to stay for? And now I've given you this framework. It's yours to use.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
revenue, efficiency, KPIs, that they forget the very one thing that actually drives results. People feeling seen, heard, and valued. And here's the real truth. People don't leave because of a bad quarter. They don't leave because of a bad boss. They leave when they feel invisible. And the data proves it. Gallup reports that only 31% of employees feel engaged at work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Think about the leaders who shaped you. The people who are like the Jay Skibinskis in your life. The ones who changed your career. Your confidence. maybe even your life. It wasn't just because they hit their KPIs. It wasn't just because they got results. It was because they made you believe in yourself. It was because they saw something in you before you even saw it yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
It was because they made you matter. So here's the mic drop moment. Well, people say that about you because at the end of the day, mattering isn't a soft skill. It's your competitive edge. And the best part, you control it. You create it. You become it. Now, go lead like you mean it. And that's a wrap on today's episode. But here's the thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
This can't just be something you listen to and move on from. The best leaders, the ones who truly make a difference, aren't just about strategy or results. They're the ones who make people feel seen, valued, and capable of more than they've ever imagined. Now go out there and lead like you mean it and share this with other leaders and colleagues who need to hear it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Be the one who helps them take that first step to create a culture of mattering. And if you want to go deeper, I don't want to just talk about these ideas. I want to bring them into organizations, into teams, inspiring leaders, inspiring organizations worldwide. If today's conversation hit home, and you think your group could benefit, let's connect.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Through keynotes, workshops, and events, I help ignite purpose, focus, and intentionality where it matters most. Head over to johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more. Coming up next on Passion Struck, next week I am sitting down with none other than Randy Blythe, the powerhouse lead singer of the band Lamb of God.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
We're talking about resilience, discipline, and what it takes to push through challenges most people would walk away from. And trust me, this conversation is going to hit hard in the best way possible. You won't want to miss it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
So here's the deal. You're not here just to consume content. You're here because you're investing in yourself. And that's what PassionStruck is all about. So take what you've learned today. apply it, and keep showing up for yourself because no one else can do that for you. And remember, the fee for this show is simple.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
If you got value here, share it, leave a five-star rating, post it, text it, email it, get it into the hands of people who need it. Until next time, keep chasing the stuff that matters. And as always, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
70% of high performers would take a pay cut to work for a leader who makes them feel appreciated. And 33% of employees leave their jobs just because they feel uninspired and want new challenges. Let me repeat that. People would literally make less money just to feel like they matter. So here's the real question. Are you leading in a way that makes people want to stay?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Because this episode isn't about soft skills. It's about the metric that changes everything. The metric of mattering. And before we get into today's episode, if you're new here, welcome to Passion Struck. This platform is more than just a podcast. It's a movement. With over 570 episodes, we've built a global community dedicated to unlocking human potential.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Most of us assume people quit because of money, stress, or burnout. But what if I told you that there's something even deeper at play, something most leaders completely overlook? And that's exactly what we're unpacking today. Because there's one shift.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And I know it can be overwhelming to know where to start. That's why we've created episode starter packs, curated playlists on topics like leadership, mindset, and resilience. Find them at passionstruck.com slash starter packs or on Spotify. Want even more? Subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com slash newsletter for exclusive insights.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And don't forget to subscribe to YouTube for behind the scenes content and highlights. So let's get real for a second. If you're leading a team, managing a business, or just trying to build a meaningful career, you have to ask yourself, are you creating an environment where people actually want to stay? Because today's episode isn't just about leadership.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
It's about the core human need that makes all the difference. mattering. We're diving into why people disengage, how great leaders create a culture where people thrive, and most importantly, how you can apply this whether you're leading an entire company or just leading yourself.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
I need to talk to you about something that's been on my mind for a long time, something I've been researching for years, and I'm finally ready to break it down because I believe this one fundamental issue is at the root of why so many workplaces are struggling, why employee engagement is at an all-time low, why burnout is skyrocketing, and why great talent is walking away. And it's this.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
What if we've been measuring leadership all wrong? I want you to think about something for a second. When we talk about leadership, what's the first thing we measure? We track revenue. We analyze efficiency. We optimize for market share, productivity, and growth. We assume that if the numbers look good, leadership must be working. But let me ask you a different question.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
When was the last time you asked yourself if your people feel like they matter? Because here's the truth. 71% of executives agree that high employee engagement is the number one driver of success. Companies with a thriving corporate culture grow revenue. Get this. four times faster than their competitors. And 84% of employees feel more motivated when recognized for their work.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
One fundamental truth that transformed a global company, built unshakable teams, and proved that the best leaders don't just get results, they make people want to stay. Trust me, you'll want to hear this. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
So if these aren't the statistics, why are so many companies ignoring them? Why are so many leaders losing great people over something they could easily fix? Because here's something I have learned. The greatest leaders in history weren't just masters of execution. They were architects of significance. They built companies where people didn't just work. They belonged.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And that's exactly what we're talking about today. Because at the end of the day, the best leaders don't just deliver results. They make people feel like they truly matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
now i want you to pause for a second and be real with yourself have you ever checked out at work not because you hate the job but because you feel like no one cared yeah that's the problem we're talking about today why people really quit and why it's not what you think let's start with a quick thought experiment imagine you're part of a high performing team at a well-known company
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Your boss is competent. The pay is solid. The work is even intellectually stimulating. On paper, everything looks great, but deep down, something is missing. Your contributions feel unnoticed. Your ideas, they never seem to get traction. The higher-ups make decisions in a vacuum, and there's no real sense that your work truly matters. At first, it's subtle. But over time, something happens.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
You start disengaging. And that shows up because you stop speaking up in meetings. You contribute less and less. You stop volunteering for high-stakes projects. And eventually, despite the salary, despite the benefits, despite the prestige, you start looking elsewhere. Does this sound familiar?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
think about this high performers don't leave for money they leave for meaning as i mentioned earlier 70 would take a pay cut just to work for a leader who gets it this is so important i want to say it again people would literally make less money just to work for a leader who makes them feel seen that is how powerful mattering is this led me to study the psychology of why we stay or why we leave
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And this is where my conversation with Dr. Shige Iwishi, who was on the show earlier this week, changed everything for me. Dr. Iwishi is a leading psychologist and the author of Life in Three Dimensions. And in that podcast, we get into this incredible discussion about what makes life fulfilling. And he shared something that completely shifted how I think about leadership.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
For decades, we've been told that a good life
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
is about two fundamental things first happiness a life filled with comfort pleasure and stability and then second meaning a life driven by purpose and long-term contribution it sounds great right except for one problem dr awishi pointed out something fascinating in countries that rank highest in happiness think of places like finland and denmark people report high life satisfaction
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
But when you dig deeper, many also describe their lives as predictable, maybe even a little boring. That's when he introduced a missing piece, psychological richness. A psychologically rich life isn't just happy or meaningful, Dr. Oishi told me. It's filled with varied, novel, and perspective-shifting experiences. It's about exploration, challenge, and embracing the unexpected.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And that's when it hit me. This is exactly what great leaders create. The best workplaces aren't just efficient. They aren't just mission-driven. They create depth. They create growth. They create an environment where people aren't just performing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
they're evolving this is why mattering is the single most overlooked metric in leadership the one that determines whether people stay whether they thrive and whether they give their best efforts every single day so let's talk about the mattering effect why some leaders inspire loyalty and others don't i've always thought there are two kinds of leaders let's talk about the first one
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Leader A is someone you know probably very well. They're results-driven, efficient, and disciplined. They run a tight ship. They set clear goals. They hold people accountable. And on paper, they look like they're crushing it. But then there's Leader B. Leader B does all of what Leader A does. And then something more. Leader B makes people feel like they matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
They pause to recognize contributions, not just big wins, but the effort behind them. They listen, not just to presentations, but to the people behind them. They give ownership. empowering their team instead of hoarding decisions. They invest in people's growth, not just in outcomes. And at first glance, the difference between leader A and leader B seems small.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
But over time, under leader A, people do their jobs, but they rarely go above and beyond. Turnover is steady. Engagement is lukewarm. They perform, but more importantly, they don't care. Under Leader B, people take initiative. They contribute beyond their job descriptions. They stay longer, and they do it not because they have to, but because they want to. And that's the difference.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Leader A's team is productive, while Leader B's team is invested. So it begs the question, what kind of leader are you? Leader B is the type of person that I described in my book, Passion Struck. I describe this as a gardener leader, someone who nurtures their team and invests in them. If you want to lead a team that thrives, that innovates,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
that sticks around for the long haul you have to stop focusing on results first you have to start focusing on mattering first and i don't mean vague recognition or another useless corporate engagement survey i mean real tangible day-to-day leadership behaviors that make people feel seen valued and essential And this begs probably the most fundamentally important question of today's conversation.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Would you want to work for you? Let's be honest, because if the answer is no, you already know the problem. So let's talk about the leadership that changes everything. Theory is great. And look, it's one thing to talk about great leadership. But let me tell you about someone who lived it. Someone who changed how I lead forever. His name is Jay Skibinski.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey there, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 573.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
When Jay became global CIO of Lendlease, a $7 billion multinational company, he walked into a leadership culture that was broken. The CIO before him, he was all about cost cutting and efficiency. People were treated like cogs in a wheel. It was a numbers game. Just keep things running. Get the budget down. Have less people do more and move on. There was no recognition of contributions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
There was no ownership. There was no investment. It was just cost cutting. Black and white. Get to a certain number. Do more with less people. and I think we can all relate to that type of environment. And then Jay arrived, and he changed everything. At the time, I was the chief information security officer at Lendlease. And here's something I love about Jay.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
He didn't just see me as the person in charge of security. Instead, he saw my potential. He pulled me aside and asked me to lead the largest IT infrastructure project in the company's entire history. A global transformation, four continents, 20 major security and infrastructure initiatives, all with a small but mighty team. We called it Project High Rise. And here's what made Jay different.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
He knew when to push you to greatness and when to give you a helping hand. He had this rare ability to balance high expectations with deep trust. He wasn't just about hitting numbers. He was about building people. And guess what happened? In just 12 months, our tiny but fierce team overhauled our IT infrastructure and security across the entire company in five continents.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
We cut down security remediation time. What used to take 150 days was now being detected and managed in real time. We implemented security and identity management across the entire company. We prove that massive transformation doesn't require massive resources, just the right leadership. And here's the kicker. We did it for $1.8 million.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
For most companies, that kind of project would have dragged on for years and cost tens of millions. We did it faster, cheaper, and better. And we did it because Jay led with trust, vision, and relentless focus on what actually matters. His people. That was the leadership lesson that stuck with me. I watched Jay handle some of the toughest business challenges that you could imagine.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
High stakes, pressure from the top, impossible expectations. But Jay never led with fear. He never let urgency turn into panic. He made sure every single person on our team knew that their work mattered. And because we felt that, we gave it everything we had. That's what true leadership looks like. And here's what I know for sure. I'm a better leader because of Jay Skibinski.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
And now my mission is to pay it forward. What about you? Because at the end of the day, people don't quit companies. They quit leaders. So here's my challenge for you. Are you the kind of leader that people fight to stay for? Are you like Jay Skibinski? Or are you the reason they're updating their resume? Because this right here, the way you make people feel, this is the real metric of leadership.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
Whether you've been with me for a while or this is your first time, this is where we challenge conventional thinking and create lives of impact. Earlier this week, we had two incredible conversations that challenged the way we think about fulfillment and excellence.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Why Mattering at Work Is the New Metric Leaders Must Track | EP 573
When I wrote my book, Passion Struck, I ended up studying over 750 leaders over a seven-year period. And when I start thinking about the leaders who made the biggest impact, the ones who truly ignited something in people, as I looked at those 700 plus leaders, I kept coming back to four core dimensions.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Coming up next on Passion Struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
I'm sure you're familiar with the belonging barometer that the American immigration counsel put out. But when you talk about not feeling like you belong, I think the figure was 17% of people feel like they don't belong or don't feel like they matter at any point in their life, which is Which is a huge number when you think about it and the numbers are close to 70%.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
So it's truly an honor and a full circle moment for me to welcome someone I've long admired, someone who literally wrote the book on the subject, Dr. Gordon Flett. Dr. Flett is the author of The Psychology of Mattering, as well as the new book, Mattering as a Core Need in Children and Adolescents.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
You feel they don't belong in their work environments, the same thing with their communities. This is a huge thing.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
It is shocking. And I want to get more into that. I wanted to ask you one more thing around science. So when I talked to my friend Ethan Cross about mattering, and I was asking him where he suggested I should look, he turned me towards Edward Deasy and Richard Ryan's work on self-determination theory. And I have seen the linkages between the need for intrinsic motivation and mattering
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
But when you look at it, where would you say it crosses and where do you think mattering goes well beyond self-determination theory?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
He recently retired as a distinguished professor of psychology at York University, where he spent decades pioneering research into how the feeling of mattering, of being seen, valued, and significant shapes everything from our mental health and relationships to our sense of identity and purpose.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And what do you think is that link that gets people to understand the concept? Because when I try to explain it, I remember I was having this discussion with a person in the PR field and I was talking to them about the need to matter and they go, well, everyone has a different sense of matter. And I said, well, that is exactly true.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
We all have our own view, but I think there are commonalities that we all share as well. And we tend to focus on the differences instead of the commonalities. But how would you answer that?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
In our conversation, we explore what mattering truly means and why it's different from self-esteem, belonging, or mere connection. the profound emotional and psychological toll when we experience anti-mattering and how loneliness, depression, and anxiety often stem from feeling overlooked or underappreciated.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
No, absolutely. And the way I look at it is I've developed this framework where I think it starts with how you matter to yourself. Then how do you matter to others? How do you make other people feel they matter? And then how do you then extend mattering beyond yourself to the community around you? And I think when you talk about the second one,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
How other people make you feel you matter and then how you make other people feel they matter. There's something that comes in with reciprocity. Is that something that you've looked at?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
We go into practical, actionable ways we can enhance our own sense of mattering even during life's most difficult seasons. We discuss why reciprocal relationships are so vital and how giving mattering to others can transform our own lives. And lastly, we go deep into understanding mattering at the societal level and how it could reshape education, workplaces, and communities for the better.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
So as I was discussing this concept with my wife, we were talking about events like Easter, which is coming up or Christmas, Hanukkah. Where to me, I always feel the most emotionally involved in the holidays when I'm giving a gift to someone else, much more than when I'm receiving a gift from someone.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
It wouldn't be the same if I didn't intentionally go out and select that gift for them, wondering how they're going to react to it, wanting to see their anticipation, etc. Yeah. So when you think about that, what are the psychological benefits that come specifically from giving mattering to others, not just receiving it?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
This episode is deeply meaningful for me, and I truly believe that it will change the way you think about your relationships, your worth, and your impact in the world. It's not just about feeling good, it's about becoming whole. Before we dive in, let's take a look back at the two incredible episodes that led up to today.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
For sure. So we've talked a little bit about anti-mattering and you gave the definition of mattering. So how would a listener know if they might be experiencing anti-mattering? Are there certain psychological or emotional signs that someone might be feeling?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
On Tuesday, I sat down with Humble the Poet to explore one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences of our time, anxiety. It's an unfiltered conversation about identity, self-worth, and how to find calm in a chaotic world.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And just yesterday, Dr. Emily Falk, a trailblazing neuroscientist from the University of Pennsylvania, revealed the science behind how ideas spread, what makes messages persuasive, and how understanding brain synchrony can transform how we connect, influence, and communicate. If you want to become a more intentional messenger of change, make sure to check it out. And here's something else.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
so that you feel like you matter now but you anticipate maybe you won't matter down the road welcome to passion struck hi i'm your host john r miles and on the show we decipher the secrets tips and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Next week, I'm making a Big announcement, one that's been in the works for a long time. I can't say too much just yet, but trust me, you'll want to tune in for the big reveal. For those eager to dive deeper into our most popular topics, check out our episode starter packs at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
With over 590 episodes, we've created curated playlists covering themes like mental toughness, emotional mastery, and personal growth. And don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter for exclusive insights and behind-the-scenes stories you won't find anywhere else.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Now, let's get into this transformative conversation about why mattering is a core human need and how understanding it can unlock deeper meaning, greater being, and more powerful human connection with the one and only Dr. Gordon Flett. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
No, I think that's one of the things that many leaders fail to do is to treat people regardless of where they are in the organization at an equal level, because some of the most mind blowing discoveries I made was by talking to all the employees because
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Sometimes they have the best ideas possible to fix things, but they're never given the chance to have a voice into strategy and ways to overhaul things. So you're doing yourself a huge disservice by not including people in the discussion.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
So I now want to switch the topic to kids. So as I have been writing my own book on this and trying to figure out what is going on and who is suffering the most when mattering is lost, what I keep finding is this is what has already happened to Generation Z and it's what is already occurring to Gen Alpha right now as we speak. And there seems to be a couple different dimensions of it.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
You talked about the school that your kids or grandkids were in earlier as a great example of a school where mattering is present. But I feel in the vast majority of schools, mattering is completely absent or severely lacking.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And then on top of that, as the work of Jennifer Wallace showed, you then have this erosion of the family system as well, where the person who shows a child that they matter the most is the parent. And if the parent themselves don't feel like they matter,
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Hey, PassionStruck family. I have an extraordinary guest today, someone who I've wanted to have on this podcast for about 18 months, and we finally made it happen. I'm so honored and privileged to welcome Dr. Gordon Flett to PassionStruck. Welcome, Gordon.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
it starts having this ripple effect so they're not feeling it at school they're not feeling it at home they're probably not feeling it from their friends and so you've got this recipe where this is something that's now being taught from their earliest ages am i thinking about this in the right way yes for sure well you think about everything in the right way as far as i'm concerned because that sense of looking at all those domains is critical and
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Well, just before we came on the air, you told me that you recently retired from your teaching position, but you were just bestowed an honor. And I thought it was important to maybe start there. Can you tell us what that honor was?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
A follow on question to that is I think whether it's kids or adults, many people struggle to see how their actions actually affect others. Do you have any insights from your research on why recognizing our impact on others is so crucial to feeling like you matter?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Thank you for sharing that, Gordon. And there are a couple of last areas I wanted to go into with you. One of them is the fact that mattering is malleable. that we can actively increase our sense of significance. And I was hoping you might give some practical strategies or maybe habits any of the listeners could do to enhance their own sense of matter.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
It's such a well-deserved recognition and congratulations to you and wanted to just start today's discussion
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And another one I wanted to make sure I got in here is if our society as a whole, given all the issues of dehumanization, conflict, everything else that we have going on, Prioritize mattering more explicitly. What changes do you envision we would see in our communities, workplaces, and our overall mental health?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
with just a little bit of history i have really been trying to understand why are there so many people and when i say so many i'm talking in the neighborhood of billions who are facing so many issues in their life from feeling helpless and hopeless to lonely to rising mental health to anxiety and i kept trying to search for was there some linchpin that was tying this all together.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Oh, my God.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Yeah, we had something similar to that happen to us about six months ago. We got impacted by Hurricane Helene and had about three feet of water in our house. And we had a dozen or more friends who ended up showing up for us, some pulling up carpet and helping us get the water out of the house and others bringing food and others packing up things for us. And
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
I'll tell you, it's when people show up like they did that you feel that sense of mattering in the most profound way.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Gordon, you've been studying mattering now for decades. What has surprised you most or challenged your assumptions about how people build mattering in their lives?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Yeah. And unfortunately they'll reach that point and realize lie they've been told is going to hit them in the face.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And I remember I was talking to Tom Curran in an episode and we were talking about perfectionism and I was telling him I had spoken to Angela Duckworth and Ethan Cross and all these people with these famous researchers. And I said, I can't find anyone who was studying mattering. And he goes, have you ever heard of Dr. Gordon Flatt? And I said, I have not.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Yeah, and I just had a really good conversation with Lori Santos about this. She was put into this position, like the one you were describing, where she got picked to live on campus in this big house. And she was in the middle of all the students, became the den mom at the time. And realized just how many of them were suffering from perfectionism, from overachievement, from feeling less than.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And that's why she created the whole course that became Yale's most attended course in history. Off the back of mattering, really, or seeing the phenomenon of anti-mattering.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Absolutely. Gordon, can you just for the listeners, you had a previous book, The Psychology of Matter. And can you talk about that and just for to tell them more about it and then maybe just introduce this new book that's coming out?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And so I immediately started Googling you and reading everything I could get my hands on that you had produced. And you are at the epicenter of this nascent world of studying mattering, which I think is one of the most important concepts that we need today. So I was hoping with that as a backdrop, Gordon, that we could start at the beginning.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Gordon, thank you so much for sharing that. And thank you so much for joining us today. It was such an honor to have you.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And that's a wrap. What an incredible conversation with Dr. Gordon Flett. His groundbreaking insights into the psychology of mattering have illuminated a profound truth. Feeling significant isn't merely a nice to have. It's essential for our well-being, resilience, and overall happiness. His research reminds us that mattering goes far deeper than simply belonging or being connected.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
It's about feeling valued, knowing we're needed, and believing that our lives genuinely make a difference. From uncovering the hidden cost of unmattering, like anxiety, depression, and loneliness, to providing actionable strategies we can use every day, Dr. Flett has shown us a clear path toward living lives of greater purpose and intention.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
As we close today's episode, I invite you to reflect on a few key takeaways. How can you actively communicate to others in your life that they truly matter? What practical steps can you take to enhance your own sense of significance, especially in areas where you often feel overlooked or undervalued?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And how might embracing the reciprocal nature of mattering deepen your relationships and foster genuine connection? If today's discussion resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a five-star rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support PassionStruck and helps these transformative insights reach even more people.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And if someone in your life could benefit from Dr. Flett's powerful research and perspective, please share this episode with them because one conversation can ignite lasting change. For all the resources and links discussed today, including more of Dr. Flett's research on mattering, visit the show notes at passionstruck.com.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And if you want to dive deeper, don't miss the video version of this conversation on our YouTube channel titled John R. Miles. And finally, if you'd like to bring these life-changing insights directly to your team, organization, or event, visit johnrmiles.com. to learn how we can work together to spark intentional transformation and inspire meaningful growth.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Coming up next, I'm joined by Isabel and Laura Hoff. We go into their groundbreaking new book, Secrets of the Ice Woman, and we discuss the power of cold and breath work to balance hormones, bolster health, and unlock inner potential.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value today, share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Most importantly, take what you've learned and put it into action. Because knowledge alone doesn't create change. Action does. Until next time, live life passion-struck.
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
As I've done research, you first discovered the concept of mattering as a graduate student in the late 80s. Can you describe that moment? of when you discovered it and why it resonated so deeply?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Now, let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Welcome to episode 597 of Passion Struck. Whether you're a long-time listener or joining us for the first time, I am so grateful you're here. You've tuned into a movement dedicated to unlocking your potential, living with intention, and making what truly matters matter most. And today, I have to tell you...
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
So I'm thinking about the best place to go. And I want to come back to your grandmother's story here in a second. But I think before we do, it might be best for you to ground the listeners or viewers on when you define mattering, what words do you use?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
Well, I think it's important because when I was doing my research, a lot of people pointed me towards the work of Jeff Cohen on belonging, or I was pointed to study work on self-esteem or study work on happiness. How does mattering differ from belonging or self-esteem or happiness?
Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Gordon Flett on the Urgent Need to Know You Matter | EP 597
I am absolutely thrilled for this episode. If you've been following me for a while, you know that I've been studying the science of mattering for years. It's one of the most profound and personal topics I've explored on this show, and it's at the very heart of how we build resilient lives, relationships, and communities.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
What if I told you that the key to managing your emotions isn't about suppressing them or trying to ignore them, but learning how to use them as a powerful tool to propel you towards your purpose. That is exactly what today's guest is here to help us understand.
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Well, hearing your grandparents' story reminded me of my partner, Corey's history. Her grandparents were Russian Jews on both sides who, similar to your parents, evaded the Germans and eventually also migrated to Brooklyn, much like your family. And as I think about this and your family, and I think about the fires that are happening in LA right now,
The Joe Rogan Experience
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I just think of, imagine just sitting in your home and everything is normal. And then all of a sudden you're told you have to leave now. And this can happen for a hurricane or a tornado or other things. But imagine that emotional toll. I mean, it really is universal, whether it was them or even what we're facing today.
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And I think emotions and these personal narratives really shape the way we understand the human capacity to endure and thrive even when we have to face things like this. Wouldn't you agree?
The Joe Rogan Experience
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In this episode, I'm sitting back down with my friend, Dr. Ethan Cross, one of the world's leading experts on emotions and self-regulation. Ethan is also the best-selling author of Chatter and the director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Well, I want to jump from here to the first section of your book in which you describe emotions as a near constant force in our lives. And I love the words you use, sometimes subtle like background music and other times sharp and consuming, shaping our decisions and relationships.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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And in this first chapter, you highlight a 2015 study that found that people experience one or more emotions over 90% of the time. to illustrate it. And I am someone who has, I was not a Navy SEAL, but I have deployed a lot with them. And I've also been to SEER school.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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And you beautifully illustrate this with the story of Matt Mastum, who's a SEAL going through SEER training, who I personally don't know, but I can understand what you were talking about with his story where he felt anger, pain, joy, and surprisingly, even love simultaneously.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Can you talk about that experience he went through and how understanding this pervasive and complex nature of emotions help us reframe them as a tool for navigating life rather than obstacles to overcome? So Matt's story is a really powerful one.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Ethan has dedicated his entire career to studying how we can transform the way that we experience and navigate our emotions. His latest book, Shift, which launches today, takes his groundbreaking research even further, showing us how we can harness our emotions for resilience, connection, and fulfillment. But today's episode isn't just about theory. It's about real, actionable tools.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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I wasn't simulated. I mean, you are put through a mock of what it would like to be a prisoner of war, including They're trying to test all aspects of it, from the noises that they blare in. There's the temperature. I did it in the mountains, so it was freezing cold. By the time you're captured, you haven't eaten in a few days because all they give you is a rabbit and send you on your way.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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So you're starving. And so they try to give this, I think, as real world as they possibly can. Here you are trying to evade capture, which is what the first aspect of it is. And then everyone gets captured. And then it's how do you deal with all these things that they throw at you to put you as much as they can under a real world situation.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Today, Ethan and I will discuss how we can reframe our relationship with our emotions. Shift.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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So if it would ever happen, you are somewhat prepared for what it's going to be like, knowing that it's probably going to be even worse than the environment that Matt found himself in.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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our inner dialogue and embrace the full range of feelings from fear to joy as a source of growth and clarity we'll dive into fascinating stories like how a navy seal used his emotions to thrive under pressure and explore the science behind how sensory experiences like music scent and touch can change the way we feel
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Well, one of the things I liked that you covered in this chapter is I realize hope isn't really an emotion. It's a cognitive state. But I explored this whole concept of why hope matters. I really typed hope to mattering.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
And similar to the way you're explaining influence, the influence of emotions and how they influence not just our moment to moment decisions, but they can influence the trajectory of our lives. It's kind of like hope. I mean, it was hope that Gandhi used to inspire people to break away from the British rule. But he also tied into the emotions of the people.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Before we get started with today's conversation, let me give you a quick recap of last week's episodes. On Tuesday, I sat down with Dr. Dave Vago, a leading neuroscientist to discover the neuroscience of mattering and how our brain's intricate pathways shape our sense of belonging and purpose.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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It's, as you write, it's ignited personal achievements, like cultural legacies to large movements like the Taj Mahal. or the Underground Railroad. And it's so interesting because emotions do fuel some of humanity's greatest accomplishments. But I think what people fail to realize is how can they tap into this emotional fuel, so to speak, to create this life or these movements that they want.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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On Thursday, Francesca Sipma joined me to discuss how breathwork can connect us to our subconscious, unlocking clarity, emotional balance, and self-discovery. On Friday, I shared a solo episode on how to fight for your soul, where I explored the importance of aligning with your purpose, overcoming inner resistance, and making choices that protect the core of who you are.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Well, thank you for answering that. Ethan, I want to go back to something with the military here for a second. As you know, I have really been trying to study a lot about the topic of mattering, and I'm actually working on a book right now about it. And I want to take you back in time. A few years ago, I went to this
The Joe Rogan Experience
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retreat that we were having that had probably 60 special forces, former special forces people there. It was everything from the former Secretary of Defense who was there to, you know, we had Green Berets, we had rescue swimmers from the Coast Guard, we had Rangers, we had SEALs, we had Marines, and universal across all of them, they had experienced profound post-traumatic stress. And
The Joe Rogan Experience
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All of them had told me that they had gone through this sense of just feeling completely numb and indifferent and apathetic to the world around them. And it really led me to this connection that our emotions are really deeply tied to this sense of meaning and connection in our lives.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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How does understanding and managing our emotions enhance our ability to feel like we matter and how we connect and belong in the communities that we're part of?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
If you haven't listened to any of those yet, check them out for some transformative insights. And if you're loving these conversations and want to dig deeper into topics like emotional resilience, personal mastery, alternative health, and growth, make sure to explore our episode starter packs.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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These curated playlists are designed to guide you through key themes like mindfulness, mindset, and the science of mattering. You can find these starter packs on Spotify or at passionstruck.com slash starter packs.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Don't forget to subscribe to my Live Intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com, where I share weekly insights, challenges, tools, and exclusive content to help you stay focused on what truly matters. It's the best way to get inspired and stay aligned with your goals each week. And if you prefer watching these transformative conversations, make sure to check out our YouTube channel.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Thank you for sharing that. And I want to use the remaining time that we have to do a little bit of a teaser for the audience about the book, but not giving it all away. So they'll go out and buy it. Part two of your book, you're really starting to go into how do you start using the title of your book, Shifts? And it starts from shifting from the inside out.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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And on my way back from the gym today, I was trying to get myself pumped up for our interview. So I happened to listen to Casmir by Led Zeppelin. Nice. But you, as I understand it, you have a daughter named Danny and I have a daughter named Olivia. They both are soccer players.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Although my daughter doesn't really play anymore, but I remember when she was younger, there were those days where like anyone, you just don't feel like practicing or going to a game or something else. And.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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You, since we're, we're talking about Michigan today, you, you happen to turn a song on that journey saying that starts about a young boy from Michigan who wanted to believe, and can you go into this story and, and how this sensory shift helps us, uh, with our emotions?
The Joe Rogan Experience
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It's a great place to engage with the content in a whole new way and connect with others on their intentional living journey. Now, let's get started with episode 568 of Passion Struck with Dr. Ethan Cross. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
And I would just say that a great other tool someone could use is I really loved the book, The Five Senses that Gretchen put out a couple of years ago, really exploring when we really tap into our senses, how much it plays a profound role.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
And all you got to do to experience this is go to a hotel like I did this past weekend where they pump in the sensory smells or a restaurant which does the same thing.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
I am absolutely thrilled to welcome back Dr. Ethan Cross to PassionStruck. Great to see you again, Ethan. Great to be here, John.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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So this cultural shift is something that needs to happen in a lot of businesses right now where you've got so many people who are disengaged and there is absolutely a reason for that happening, but a lot of it plays into the emotions of the employees.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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So why does culture play such an important role in how we interpret and express emotions and how can shifting it help us navigate our lives with greater intentionality?
The Joe Rogan Experience
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It is great. I wish we could do this in person, and I hope down the line we can. But I am glad that we're doing it now because we actually are, both of us, huge Michigan fans, and we can still, as of today, say we are the national champions. That's right.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Well, I think that's a great topic to end on. Ethan, if someone wanted to learn more about you and your work, where's the best place for them to go?
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Well, thank you so much for joining us here today. And I can't wait to have you back on for a third time. Thanks so much, John. It's an honor and a privilege as always. Wow, what an extraordinary conversation with Ethan Cross.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
From the groundbreaking insights into why we feel to the powerful tools for shifting our emotional states, today's discussion was a masterclass in understanding and harnessing the complexity of our emotions. Ethan's work in Shift reminds us that our emotions aren't obstacles, they're allies.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Whether it's the power of sensory experiences like music, the stories of resilience and love from his research, or the practical ways we can use emotions, As tools for connection and growth, this episode is packed with wisdom that can truly transform how we navigate our lives. As we close, I encourage you to reflect on a few key takeaways.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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How can you begin to see your emotions as superpowers rather than hindrances? What sensory tools like music, scent, or touch can you intentionally incorporate into your daily life to help shift your emotional state? If today's episode resonated with you, please leave us a five-star rating and review.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Your feedback helps us continue bringing powerful conversations like this one to the Passion Struck community. And if someone in your life could benefit from Ethan's insights, share this episode with them. It could be the spark they need to see their emotions in a whole new light.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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You can find all the resources we discussed, including Ethan's book, Shift, and links to the previous episode on Chatter in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel where you can watch the video version of this episode and share it with others who are passionate about intentional living.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Lastly, if you're looking to bring these kinds of transformative insights into your organization or team, visit johnrmiles.com speaking to learn how we can work together to ignite purpose, connection, and emotional mastery where it matters most.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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In our next episode, I'll be joined by Eric Zimmer, host of the One You Feed podcast, for a powerful discussion on intentional living, personal transformation, and feeding the parts of ourselves that matter most. It's going to be an inspiring conversation, so make sure you tune in.
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Thank you for always for spending your time with us and for being part of the Passion Start community. Remember, the lessons you learn here are only as powerful as the actions you take. Until next time, live life Passion Start.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
Absolutely. And I am ecstatic that it also looks like our basketball team is going to be back to the program we all hope it will be. So with that lead in, it is such a pleasure to have you back on Tash & Struck.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Your last episode on your previous book, Chatter, resonated so deeply with our listeners that I was just thrilled when I learned that you had written this new book and that we could bring you back on. So This episode is really, to me, a continuation of the incredible journey you've taken us on, one that's both scientific and profoundly human.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Can you maybe walk the listeners through what led you from chatter to now writing this book?
The Joe Rogan Experience
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If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. Welcome to episode 568.
The Joe Rogan Experience
#2268 - Rick Caruso
So Shift opens up with an incredible story about your grandparents, Dora and Izzy, and their harrowing escape from the Nazis during World War II. a story as I was reading it of survival, resilience, and emotional endurance. What stuck with me the most is how their stories reflect the themes of emotions as really tools for navigating life.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Can you share more about their journey and how it influenced your own understanding of emotions?
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If you're new to the show, thank you so much for joining us. You have just entered a community that's all about igniting passion, living intentionally, and creating a life that matters. Now, let me ask you something. Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by your emotions, feeling like they're controlling you instead of you controlling them?
The Joe Rogan Experience
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What did you do when you went to the gym? Well, today I just wanted a cardio workout. So I just did 30 minutes on an elliptical. And I listened to Andrew Huberman's podcast that you were on as I was doing it.
The Joe Rogan Experience
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Do you ever lift weights? Well, I have an alternative health podcast, so I follow what Mark Hyman and other people have told me to do. So I try to do cardio a couple of times a week and I try to do free weights a few times a week.