Passion Struck with John R. Miles
How to Build a Mental Health Ecosystem That Honors Who You Are w/John R. Miles | EP 615
Fri, 23 May 2025
What if the problem isn’t that you’re broken, but that your environment no longer reflects who you are?In this solo episode, John takes you inside one of the most overlooked truths about mental health: it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It lives in the patterns, people, and places you move through every day. Sharing a personal story of hidden anxiety during a high-functioning season of life, he introduces H.O.M.E.—a four-part framework to help you build a mental ecosystem that supports resilience, alignment, and real emotional well-being.Click here for full show notes!Introducing — The Ignited LifeIn our weekly Substack, I share tools, stories, and strategies to help you live with clarity, alignment, and purpose.Subscribe to theignitedlife.net — and start building a life that reflects who you really are.You’ll learn:Why habits alone won’t save you if they’re misaligned with your identityHow relationships either reinforce your truth or drain itThe role of meaning as a daily anchor, not just a big ideaWhy emotional space is the key to long-term sustainabilityThis episode is a blueprint for creating the internal and external conditions where you don’t just survive—you belong.How to Connect with John:Connect with John on Twitter at @John_RMilesFollow him on Instagram at @John_R_MilesSubscribe to our main YouTube Channel and to our YouTube Clips ChannelFor more insights and resources, visit John’s websiteWant to explore where you stand on the path to becoming Passion Struck? Take our 20-question quiz on Passionstruck.com and find out today!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is the main theme of mental health in this episode?
Coming up next on Passion Struck, have you ever felt like you're doing everything right, but still feel like something's wrong? You've got the habits, the structure, maybe even the success, but deep down, you're misaligned. This episode isn't about more mindset hacks. It's about the quiet reason your clarity, peace, and energy keep slipping through the cracks. Because maybe the problem isn't you.
Maybe it's the system you're living in. Today, I'm walking you through a powerful framework, not to fix yourself, but to build a life that finally fits. It's not just about mental health. It's about coming home to who you really are. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles.
And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become PassionStruck. Hey everyone, John here, and welcome to episode 615 of Passion Struck.
Before we get into today's conversation, I want to share something that's been a long time coming. We have officially launched the Ignited Life, our new Substack platform this week. It's not just a newsletter. It's a home for everything we talk about here, written, unpacked, and made real. If the podcast is where you hear the spark, The Ignited Life is where you hold the flame.
Each week, I'm sharing ideas on personal mastery, emotional fitness, and the quiet architecture of a meaningful life. Tools and stories I've never shared anywhere else. No clickbait, no noise, just real clarity for people who want to live intentionally. especially when the world gets loud. You can sign up now at theignitedlife.net or by going to passionstruck.com.
I promise it'll stretch you in the best way. And if you're already a subscriber, thank you. This movement is growing because of you. Now onto today's episode. We've spent May honoring Mental Health Awareness Month, not just by talking about symptoms, but by asking deeper questions. In episode 606, we explored why mental health is the root of everything that matters.
In episode 609, I shared five practices that help anchor you in seasons of uncertainty. And in episode 612, we dug into how to reframe your inner world for resilience. And the conversations this past week pushed that even further. On Tuesday, I was joined by Joseph Nguyen.
author of Don't Believe Everything You Think, where we unpack how our thoughts can become prisons and how releasing your grip on mental stories opens the door to clarity, peace, and self-compassion. Then on Thursday, Janet Edley joined me to explore the intersection of Eastern philosophy, healing, and the art of living consciously.
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Chapter 2: How can I create a mental health ecosystem that supports me?
Now, let that journey begin. I want to take you back to a moment I've never really talked about before. Ten years ago, my body staged an intervention. I had just stepped into a new CEO role of a software company. I was navigating a divorce, adjusting to life as a single dad, and on the outside, I was holding it all together, or at least I thought I was.
Then, one morning after a workout, something in my body snapped. My chest tightened. My heart started racing. It felt like a heart attack. It wasn't. It was anxiety. What I thought was cardiac was actually systemic. My body sounding the alarm that the pressure I was under had reached a breaking point. I was doing everything right, working out, showing up, managing life like a pro.
But on the inside, I was overwhelmed, overextended, emotionally unsupported. That was the moment I learned something that I wish more people talked about. Mental health isn't a checklist. It's an ecosystem. And what I learned is that you can't hack your way out of misalignment. You can journal, meditate, go to therapy, work out.
You can do everything right and still feel like you're falling apart if your environment is quietly eroding your resilience. Sound familiar? You're pouring energy into your mental health, but the peace doesn't stick. The clarity doesn't last. The tension keeps creeping back in. The problem might not be you. The problem might be your environment.
You can't thrive in a life that only accepts the filtered version of you. You can't breathe fully in spaces where you're always performing to belong. Mental health isn't just internal. It's ecological. In fact, in a recent study published in JAMA Psychiatry, a global team of researchers from ecology, psychiatry, and system science proposed a radical shift in thinking.
Mental Health Behaves Like a Complex System. Led by Professor Martin Sheffer, the researchers compared the human mind to ecological systems like lakes and forest. Dr. Sheffer had spent years studying how natural environments like lakes stay balanced. how water remains clear instead of turning murky, and how seemingly stable systems can suddenly collapse when pushed too far.
A lake doesn't go toxic overnight, he said. It hits a tipping point. At first, everything looks fine, but the balance starts slipping. The clarity fades and then suddenly it crashes. The parallels to mental health, he said, are hard to miss. Our minds work the same way. We're resilient until we're not. Stress accumulates. Alignment slips. support thins out, and then snap.
This model changes everything. It moves us out of shame and into strategy. Mental health works the same way. Stress builds, support thins out, resilience erodes, and then this isn't about willpower. It's about system design. And over the past month on PassionStruck, we've explored episode 600, the power of being seen and why mattering is medicine. Episode 606,
Why mental health is the quiet route of everything that matters. Episode 609, how to build habits that anchor you. And episode 612, how to reframe your inner world for real resilience. But here's the truth we haven't named out loud yet. You can do all the right things for your mind and still struggle if your environment doesn't reflect your values.
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Chapter 3: Why might my habits not be enough for my mental health?
That is why I created HOME, a framework for building not just better habits, but an environment that honors who you are and supports who you're becoming. So let's get into it. Let's start with H, habits aligned with your identity. Most people focus on habits for productivity, but the better question is, Habits for what version of me?
In episode 609, we talked about internal credibility, the quiet self-trust you build when you show up for yourself, even when no one's watching. This idea is backed by self-determination theory, which I explored in death in episode 386 with one of the theory's co-founders, Dr. Richard Ryan. Self-determination theory shows that wellbeing is driven by three core psychological needs.
First, there's autonomy. I feel like I have a choice. Second, there's competence. I feel capable. And third, relatedness. I feel connected. When your habits reflect your true identity, not just your performance mask, they naturally fulfill these needs. Habits... are more than behavior. They're identity signals. So ask yourself, am I doing this because it's me or because it's expected?
Does this support the person I'm becoming? And lastly, do my routines feel nourishing or performative? The wrong habits, even if they're healthy, can become quiet stressors. Alignment is the goal, not optimization. We'll get into the O of home in just a moment. But since it's Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to remind you that this entire series is about more than insight. It's about support.
That's why we created two spaces to go even deeper. The Ignition Room, our free community for honest conversation, reflection prompts, and showing up real. And the Ignited Life, our new sub stack with weekly strategies, behind the scenes stories, and personal tools I don't share anywhere else.
If this episode is resonating, those spaces are where you'll find real time support to put it into practice. Links are in the show notes. Welcome back. We just talked about the H in home because habits aren't just about doing more. They're about doing what actually fits who you are and who you're becoming. Now let's move into the second pillar of your mental health ecosystem.
And for this one, I want you to picture your inner world like a house. Even the strongest foundation means nothing if the walls around you don't hold. And this leads us to O, others who see and support you. Let's be honest. you can be doing everything right internally and still feel unstable if the people around you are misaligned. Your mental health doesn't exist in a vacuum.
It's shaped, supported, and sometimes strained by the relationships you live inside every day. In episode 606, I introduced the mattering mental health loop. When we believe we matter, we engage. When we engage, We notice, and when we notice, we act with care. But that loop only works if you're surrounded by people who reflect your truth, not just your output.
This is where James Cohen and Lane Beck's research on social baseline theory comes in. Their research shows that the human brain is wired for co-regulation. not isolation. Just being near someone you trust literally lowers your perceived threats and reduces stress responses. It's not metaphorical, it's neurological.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the HOME framework?
It's a map, a way to build the life you keep trying to push through without burning out in the process. And this episode is part of something bigger. Over the past few weeks, we've had some of the most raw, insightful, and empowering conversations we've ever done on Passion Strap. all centered around mental health as the foundation of intentional living.
Here are just a few voices that helped shape this series. Yonge Mingor Rinpoche taught us how to befriend discomfort and cultivate joy, even in chaos. Dr. Andrew Newberg revealed how contemplative practice and neuroscience come together to regulate emotion and deepen awareness. Biat Simkin cracked open what it means to live awake, raw, and fully present in the face of grief and beauty.
Elizabeth Weingarten gave us a new way to reflect with questions that lead to clarity and growth. Gretchen Rubin reminded us that emotional awareness isn't fluffy, it's practical. And it starts with knowing what truly makes you feel like you. Every one of these conversations pointed to a larger truth. Mental health isn't the absence of pain.
It's the presence of alignment, support, and inner infrastructure. So here's what I want you to ask this week. What part of my environment isn't reflecting who I really am anymore? Not what's broken, not what needs to be fixed, just what needs to be realigned.
Start with one part of your home, a habit that needs to evolve, a relationship that needs more honesty, a meaning you've lost touch with, a space you need to reclaim. Because when you create a system that reflects your truth, you don't just cope better, you live better. And that's the goal. Not just survival, but a life change. that feels like you.
And if this episode moved you, share it, talk about it, most of all, live it. And if you want more support in building a life that feels like home, subscribe to the Ignited Life, our weekly sub stack with tools, reflections, and ideas to help you design your life from the inside out. Join the Ignition Room, our free community where the conversation continues beyond the mic.
So as you take this framework home and into your own life, I hope it gives you a new lens, not just for what to do, but for how to live in a way that reflects who you really are. Because sometimes the breakdowns we experience aren't failures, They're signals that systems around us no longer fit. And next week, we're diving even deeper into that idea.
Coming up next on PassionStruck, I'm joined by Dr. Judith Joseph, psychiatrist and author of High Functioning, Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy. It's a powerful compliment to this episode.
While today we focused on building the ecosystem that supports your mental well-being, Dr. Joseph shines a light on what happens when you don't, when high performance masks hidden pain and the people who seem fine are quietly falling apart.
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