Christina Pazsitzky
Appearances
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Because I hang out with alphas. I would say you and Joe and not Bert, but other men that are very... Strong men.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The guys that you think are like this in private are not like this at all. They're very tempered. They're very smart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fuck that guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's very Gordon Gekko. Is that his name?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, it's very Wolf of Wall Street, like douchebag 80s.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Especially if you've got time to have this much of an entourage and like a school of dudes with you. Like, what are you doing? You don't need 10 guys in your plane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking idiot. Yeah, prove it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
To get a deal done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's right, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, stupid. And why come when I go to the beaches and you look out there, water's fucking flat, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I would love to do that. There's power lesbians that run tons of cool stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That'd be so rad. Dude, I would go to a power lesby seminar. Those bitches know what's up. They're not constrained, confined by the patriarchy standards of beauty or behavior, anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It ain't curved, right, dummy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I love that stuff. God, I wish I were a lesbian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Research. You're doing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I so wanted to send you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Can I just praise you for a moment, by the way? Speaking of positive male energy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. Okay. A while ago, I was at my hardcore weightlifting gym, my masculine energy gym.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Do your research. Do your own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Where actual real dudes lift.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And I finally got to meet face-to-face Brigham Bueller.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. He's been on Joe's show. You guys, everybody knows him in Texas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's amazing. He's such a great, you know, entrepreneur. Yeah. And he's also very fit too. So anyway, we ran into each other at the gym and I just wanted to pass along a really nice compliment he gave you. He goes, you know, Tom has gotten into such amazing shape and the fact that he does it on the road is, is incredible. How is he even doing that? And I was like, well, he's very dedicated.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
When he lands in a city, he goes to work out. You're on a very strict thing. And he was very complimentary of you and your dedication to Sparkle Motion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And then is he like, are you fucking lifting, bro?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm not fucking working out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They're good people. But, I mean, also, it's kind of an appropriate discussion for our guest that's going to be coming in today, fitness and stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I really would. I really would. Dude, your beard is growing back at such a rapid pace. It's kind of freakish. You're like a werewolf.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've been holding onto that topic for so long. Before our guest shows up, can you please show the Ilaria Baldwin clip that I sent in this morning? I'm dying to get into this. So as you guys know, she's got a TLC show with her husband and her 10 million children.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She's transracial, and it's cool that we live in a time where you can just pick whatever you want to be. I think she really likes being Latin. She just likes it. She likes it. It's fine. So anyway, there's this clip I got sent today of her and Alec in a fight. And apparently when Ilaria, Hillary, gets fired up, she tends to pick up her Spanish cadence.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But that's what she does. She forgets her native language a lot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But Tom, is it possible her soul is Latin?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hispanic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Sorry. I always goof that up with you people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Your touch, you're fingering my lipsticks. Is that because you miss wearing... They don't want to hear that. Nobody wants to hear your beard flakes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's probably the greatest line. Slow down a kiss.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Guys, buy my Perfect Red. Buy my Berlin, my Madison, my Atomic Red at ChristinaP.com. Tom wore my lipstick.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But you can see her turn.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What a great voice that Alec Baldwin has.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He needs to do every voiceover on everything ever. I just love him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I would love to hear his voice, like in the subway or his voice in the airport.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
God, I would love that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Make a right here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's got to be, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. Let him be my Siri voice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I want to do that and I want to do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Rafael.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah. So you're a Spanish speaker. Her Spanish, like you always tell me if they speak it well or not. Does she have a great Spanish accent or just like an okay one?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She really is. So she's meant to be Hispanic, as you say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Is she Catalan? What is she doing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's impressive. So maybe that's her thing, you know? She's like, look.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How'd it feel? I'm being serious. It's a very luxurious product, you know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, I think her parents moved there at retirement is what it was.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She liked it. She liked it. But I think the problem was when she started out claiming to be Spanish, when she started dating Alec.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. And she didn't think that people could, like, check her work. Like, journalists are going to check and see, oh, are you really Spanish?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, she could just move to like a small town and just be Ellaria as much as she wanted. If she moved to like Iowa, then she'd be like the belle of the ball, you know? No, not in two dark titties.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's true. You know why? A lot of red lipsticks or highly pigmented lipsticks take the moisture out of your lip, and then the next day you're just like, ugh, dry. Were your lips dry the next day?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Slovak.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's not true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've never known somebody that really wanted to be Spanish.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's so true because growing up, I was so embarrassed to be Hungarian because it's not a cool European. So I used to wish I were English or anything French, German.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's not one of the sexy ones. No. What Latin did you want to be?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's cool. Yeah, Colombian's kind of hard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, they're like the white Latins.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It is. Yeah. That's too far out there. Yeah. You're not a part of that. I used to want to be German cause my grandmother was born there. Right. Like I have German roots and that language is a little more common.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's so hard to, nobody speaks Hungarian. This is terrible. The German, gosh, that would have been.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know, it sucked. And then, you know, in the 80s, we were at war with Russia, so everyone thought we were Russians. I'm like, I'm not a fucking dirty Russian, okay?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Get that shit out of your mouth.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Don't talk to me. The dog is being good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, let's go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Better known as fucking Brian. Fucking Brian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking Brian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, the Gothic Illuminati?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's satanic. Well, Obama with his flag and the three stripes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hilarious. Comedians, just by the way, just so you guys know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
stand-up comics particularly we have we're nowhere near illuminati okay that's not us we're the lowest on the show business total no nobody talks to us nobody cares do anything yeah that's not us that's the music business guys actors do crazy stuff yeah we don't do we're on the other end we get the demons out okay so we don't need to do crazy stuff like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So am I. I'm feeling healthier. I'm feeling alive and alert. How about you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
My stepsister, she texted and she was like, oh my God, you finally met Robert Smith?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Because she saw it on Instagram. I'm like, dipshit. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She's not, this is my youngest one. She's not very bright.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
, , , , , , the P P P P P P P P men實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a P P P P P P P P P P P P P
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Whatever. She's sweet though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I was like, hey dummy, that's my, that's my husband. That's Tom. She's like, oh my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Alfalfa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Are we there?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Aren't you afraid, are you afraid you might inadvertently hurt yourself trying these things out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You can go on a retreat that he gives.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's in Canada. I swear to God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Get that timer. Well, Josh Solo isn't here today.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
However, look at his skin, glowing. I mean, he's in great health.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Have you tried?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Mousers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You guys are two peas in a pod.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Even your physicality, watching the two of you have chats and you're both working out and it's like, it's really nice actually. You don't see that very often. Now, you guys only took each other's plasma once.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Mousers. Meow, meow, meow, meow. That was cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hold on, though. Can you break up the calcifications? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, maybe. It sounds logical.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, we saw you drinking that one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I put it on all my food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The drinking of it. It was hard to watch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We love olive oil. That's how we cook. We don't cook with anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay, I'll try it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So he's legumes, he's veggies, he's olive oil.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Your browns must be incredible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How many times a day are we going? Just in the morning?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's a nice bit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hold on. Speaking of alcohol, it's on the carcinogen list.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. I just had a bout of breast cancer and my oncologist says that it's on the list.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm fine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Cancer-free. I'm just going to have my breast reconstructed in August. And I was curious about how did this happen to me?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. It was hormonal-based. It was a very rare form of cancer. But my oncologist told me that one in six women will have breast cancer. One in six. And I said, why? The environment, plastics and everything. Yeah. And so, you know what I started doing, like a real wacko? Hydroponic gardening. I'm growing my own vegetables. And everyone thinks I'm nuts, too. But it tastes incredible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You take a piece of lettuce off your own hydroponic garden with seeds that are non-GMO. It tastes unreal. It's not like the crap. Now, are you growing your own veg? Because, you know, to get those nutrients... You're not going to like HEB or whatever and buying vegetables.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You should.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
with non-GMO seeds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
There's different sizes. No matter what space you have, you can do it. There's one that just grows lettuce that you can have in your home.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But you're spending that much on organic produce.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So then what the fuck are you eating, Brian?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, are you going to really put it in my coffee? Is that going to taste good?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Are you sure?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm afraid. Oh, God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Is it unhealthy to drink coffee?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It does. Yeah, that's normal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, it is good. That's pleasant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's just, it's pleasant. It's not, oh wow, try it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Juiced up. Is today a Jewish holiday?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Do you drink alcohol? I know. Okay. So that's why that's a huge thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Try this. It's actually really good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay, have Brian put it in because he has the right amount. He knows how much to put in. It's actually good. I'm embarrassed to say. I didn't want to like it. I didn't want to like you. I watched your documentary. I liked you. Because I just saw you on TikTok, Brian. And I was like, this guy's out of his mind. It's like everybody is. And then you're like, oh, it's not. And look, what's the harm?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Obviously, you're doing this to yourself. You're a grown up. This is your choice. You can do whatever the heck you want to your body. You want to staple your, your nuts to your leg. You can do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I think the shot, how is it? Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's actually really good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I read that it has antioxidant properties after I got diagnosed with cancer. I was reading about cancer diets.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's a long fast.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I don't know. 5,000 milligrams?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How long have you been on it? I don't know. Honestly, I think I do one. A couple months now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I like it. Like what you're saying, I eat a very light dinner and then I fast until lunchtime the next day and I have a decent healthy lunch, a lot of veg, lean protein, and then I have a light dinner and then I'm back. I don't do alcohol anymore because of the cancer stuff. Not too much dairy. I try not to consume dairy. I like it. I feel lighter. I like to feel, and here's the truth of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I like to feel skinny. I like to have my clothes fitting me loose and you, you know, you can move better. It's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How much are you doing it? Let's talk about that machine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did we sanction this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And for your organs, for the oxygenation of all your organs. That's why you people do that nutty stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hyperbaric chamber chat is a little funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, Patrick Bateman, totally. You're a vampire Patrick Bateman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm like, who... That's so precise. It's just the way your mind works. We're sloppy comedians. We don't think that way. You know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Very rigorous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's what I was going to ask you. What does Brian Johnson do for fun?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did you do drugs? Did you do LSD? Did you mushroom? Did you do shrooms?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did you flog yourself after?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What temperature are you sleeping?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, he travels a lot for work, so we don't sleep in the same bed often.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We have separate comforters.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But that circadian, that rhythm you're talking about, like when I got diagnosed with breast cancer, I was like, what? And I thought back to the last 15 years of being on the road like that. I was working like that too. And now you're not sleeping properly. You're not eating properly. And since I've been home and off the road, I feel so much better.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
yeah well there's some people that sleep is the thing it is especially for women our rhythms are different than men our hormones are regulated through sleep you got us i sleep more than him yeah you know and it's harder for women as as women age to get sleep so women have to work harder for high quality sleep than men do as you age even though it's no stuff like menopause you mean like waking up and yeah yeah it's terrible yeah do you do coffee on a month
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, she needs to be on a vegan plant-based diet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, I'm not afraid to say that. What's with the haircut? That's an interesting haircut. He's got a part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You got to get into this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You're not even drinking your urine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And you're not giving yourself coffee enemas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What's the... Sharpen your sword.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. No, I don't read that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He wants to be that guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's hoping people see him that way. But I think he looks sweet with his little beard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, and his little glasses and his sweet little Hitler haircut. Look at that. He's got a side part like Hitler. And then it's this long.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, and he had tits. He had really nice jigglers. I'm jealous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
His tits are nicer than mine right now. You know, I'm thinking Andrew Tate is the OG, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
100% kosher.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But he's legit that guy, right? You know what I mean? Andrew was a fighter. He's an entrepreneur. He's fit. He wears the suits. These guys are like, oh, I want to be that guy maybe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They're fantastic. Hold on. Hold on. How old is your jet?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, will you be getting another jet?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You're aging every time you get on one of those. Yeah, the rays, the UV rays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I kind of feel that way too, babe. But in truth, because you do travel constantly, it's built into your business. It's a necessity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What about a backup plane? Mark Cuban has a backup plane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Now what happened to your nail polish? You're not doing your nails blue.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, and he drank the whole thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You know, you said that you're socially awkward in the documentary. I don't think you are. I think you're fine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We're all comedians, entrepreneurs. We're all you. Yeah, but you're not. But you're not. You're just precise. You're one of those guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. I'm writing it down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
All right. I believe I'm on the premise.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Clear conscience, babe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You know, stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Now, what happens if those people listening are drinking a few beers, having the pizza and then going to bed?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, it's also you're making that guy rich because, like, give me $3,000 and I'll make you a guy. You don't have any money?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So when you're saying to trash collectors so people understand, it's like cellular repair. They're picking up toxins. Is that what you mean by that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So this is why you take all these supplements and you do this stuff so that everything is at optimal performance. So your body is not in like a deficit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So now you're optimal and then your body can just clean the organs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Clean everything every night.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
These are alphas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What about your fitness, man? What are you doing? What's the fitness routine?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I'll tell you, this traveling commercial, you'll get colds and stuff. Do you work out when you're sick?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Does that wear down your organs?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah. Why, the carbon footprint thing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And also, I will say, the one thing I really, Tom and I both agreed with you so much, in the beginning of the documentary, you talk about how the mind can tell you what to do. The mind tells you what to eat. And I think... The average bear watching you goes, well, where's the joy? You're not eating this. You're not enjoying your Coca-Cola, your pizza, your hot dog.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's like, yeah, but once you realize those things aren't actually bringing you joy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
This is the lie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But how would the average person kick this notion that, well, without wine, without pizza, without these junky things in my life, how will I be happy? How do you kick it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's great. You guys would definitely bro down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's great. Go do his show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And you two, with your personalities, I think, right? Can't you see the two of them? Yes. Yeah. You'd like him very much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Come back when you're 120.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking Brian. Yeah, it's fucking guys out of his goddamn mind. Okay. All right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The banking industry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's how showbiz runs. Are you a good person?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They control it all.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hell yeah, dude. I just wish they'd take their dicks out and start jacking each other right there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Everybody's dick is so hard right there, huh?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Of course Jews control the weather and the aliens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. Is this the Edith Bojitski school? This is how my mother talks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You didn't know that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's right, and now we use it for YMH Studios.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, the problem is they're not doing their own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You got to get online and do your own research, dummy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
testosterone this guy is that what makes their faces red yeah the teeth so flush yeah yeah it's so high level in him you're like this is not a natural skin his whole thing is like be fucking jacked if you want to work for me you gotta be jacked oh yeah i've seen those videos that's if you work here we played those guys i love it i love it but i have to say i prefer this to like the sensitive ponytail guy vibe who lies to women and is like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've never received a blowjob to completion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I prefer this because it's masculine. I'm into this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes, they're overcompensating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did he cup your balls to comfort you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because he gave you drugs that floored you, and then he was watching you fry, like watching you take a journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That doesn't sound remotely gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Hold on. I've got so many more questions.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I get it. I love that entree. That's the secret. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I didn't even tell you what happened to me in my vortex.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did I? So I went to a vortex.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's a spiritual location in Sedona where you get downloads and, you know, your high vibrations. And I didn't get any. But I got to see a bird fly at like my eye level, bro. Like a fucking black crow. It was like chilling like right there. And I was like, oh, that was worth it. That was tight. You ever seen a fucking crow fly like right at your fucking eye level? Tight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah dude you know what i'm saying i was too scared to do the drugs but i i tripped out on a fucking bird bro was like talking to me he was all he's all let go bitch i asked sage for uh more dmt i don't mind taking that stuff yeah i was like send some bro oh because you know what i've done lsd in my formative years yeah i don't know why i'm whispering i don't know either but
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Some revelations, things revealed in the world. I'm so excited.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't need to see stuff anymore.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But that's, I'm happy for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It wasn't scary. Okay. Okay, so this, I have so many thoughts about this opening clip. Yeah. I mean, first of all, Orange Chicken at Panda Express.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I understand she's in a mall, clearly. She went to the food court.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Get it. Why not find a toilet? I've had diarrhea in the mall here at the domain. One time I was at Free People and I felt diarrhea coming on. You know what I did? Yeah. I left and I looked for a toilet and I found one. Yeah. Malls have toilets. So my question is, was she trying on a thong?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Satanic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't think she's trying on stuff, Victoria.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Shut the front door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Who does that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But then is she shitting in her pants? No, no, no. She's pulling down her pants and then going into the room.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Why? What's wrong with those? What's wrong?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You should flip the order.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You buy your lingerie first.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, the third eagle of the apocalypse.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Panda Express is so goddamn good, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She has nice hair, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Have you ever shat in a dressing room?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I haven't either.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yes. Yes. He's drinking Joe, too. Wow. Oh, my God. How long can he sustain that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Vote for the Donald.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oof. It's so crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't understand it either. What a skill.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that's how he calibrates the sound.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, wow. I would pay to see him do a concert of all my favorite songs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, and he's always in front of those birds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You think he could cover Bauhaus or The Cure? Oh, wow. I wish he would do Bela Lugosi's Dead. That's a long one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. It's like we support him. We support his platform. We're all about his stuff. I wish he'd fucking get it. I love you. I miss you. You've been gone for so long.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You try it Tom. Any?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. There's nobody that can do what this guy does.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Nobody. I mean, I've had friends that can do the two fingers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I feel like Bert can do that. Doesn't Bert do that? Or he goes like that. Like he does that. Who? Bert Kirshner. Doesn't he do that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Just, he can't win.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Burt Kershaw.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Burt Kershire.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
At the Super Bowl.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's amazing. Burt Kershire.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's why I changed my last name from Pajitsky to P. That was a good call. By the way, buy my lipstick, ChristinaP.com. You get, she get all four colors at the same time. I'm wearing Berlin today. That's the darkest. Perfect red, atomic red, Madison, Berlin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah what no i know we're thinking you're thinking about something else yeah i was looking at something on the board there but oh um yeah it's been a very busy very busy time a week now you're back now i'm back before that we went to clear i'm back i'm here poly and by we we went to sedona for a little getaway to get away from our children that was awesome days that was amazing
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
because it's the perfect one. It's not too chalky, it's not too runny, it lasts just the right amount of time in my estimation. So try it out, christinap.com. Try it out. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like Gymshark or Mattel, yes, they have a great product and marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the business that is making selling simple.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
For millions of businesses, that's Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with ShopPay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Gymshark or Mattel uses. Sign up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
For your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash momshouse, all lowercase, go to shopify.com slash momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash momshouse. Are you popping the big question? Sure, it's a huge moment, but what they don't tell you is how many decisions you'll have to make when choosing the perfect engagement ring.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
shape size style setting cut color clarity carrot if you're like most people you just have no idea but trust me she knows exactly what she wants so it's time to learn fast there's no better place to start than bluenile.com at bluenile.com you'll create a bigger more brilliant engagement ring than you can imagine at a price you'll never find at a traditional jeweler
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Since 1999, Blue Nile has been the original online jeweler. They've always been committed to ensuring the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Their diamond price guarantee means that in most cases, they'll meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. Right now, get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more with code YOURMOM at BlueNile.com.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's $50 off with code YOURMOM at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. What else was I going to say? Bert Kirshner. Oh, fuck, I forget.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I always like fart things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is horrifying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did her a big favor. Do you know that there's couples?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It is a high vibration place. The aliens, there are vortexes. I visited a vortex alone. You did not join me, but that's okay. And we went on a spiritual journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Very sweet. I've met him at the mothership.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, super sweet. There's couples that don't fart in front of each other and couples that hold in farts for years and years. Can you imagine?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It just seems like like a hard way to live your entire life with another person. Excuse me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, my God. That's no-win situation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, look, you may as well enjoy the sound that the fart makes and laugh. Why not have a laugh at the same time as you're breathing in farts?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yes, yes. He can fart. He goes...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't think I've had one. I don't know if I've had one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
The fart stair walk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wow. I don't think I could relax enough to do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's really cool, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, Annie, congratulations.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Hitler burned queer books. You know, this comes right off the tail of.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did you? This was your first one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Black and indigenous, Creole and Romani. Do I sound like that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I've been listening to it on a roll.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Romani Creole. Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You did?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's what I'm saying. That's the craziest sentence I've ever heard. Before Hitler got on meth. You know who he sounds like? It sounds like Stevie. Yeah. Old Stevie. It's exactly the same.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He sounds just like Stevie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wow. This is a powerful song. We got to learn this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Follow your black sisters.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's funny. It's always white ladies taking up this cause. They always take up everybody else's cause. The white ladies, huh? Yeah. These fucking ladies, these broads. Do you think these broads fuck? Oh, here we go. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tell me where you went. Can you share with us?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're Latino.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She didn't say black, did she? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, my. I felt that anti-Semitism.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, she didn't list the Jews.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Or Palestinians.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She's so full of hate. But she made it all about the gays. It says about the gays. The first part of the song is just about the gays. And then she goes into the people of color. Shameless. But then she lumps in Creole with Latin and Hispanic. Wait, hold on. Latin and Hispanic aren't the same? Aren't you guys all the same?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
what's the difference between Latin and Hispanics?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I didn't know that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Not European is what I called it. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She did not include my people. Slovakian, Romanian, Bulgarians. Come on, man. She's full of hate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You go into space? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No. Your mom's way classier. I'd like to say something. I'm going to, and I'm, and I. I'm not a Disney adult by any stretch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Is this Disneyland? This appears to be Disneyland, correct? Not Disney World?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I mean, last time we were at Disneyland, I felt that it wasn't indicative of a real classy Disney experience. The people they're hiring now are not upholding the Disney brand. They're being rude. They're being like too casual.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't like it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You think, what is that? It's just like they can't find people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like normal people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is disgusting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
disneyland workers who flick their tongues out at you no they suck she doesn't get included no because when we took our boys to disney last year i noticed that that the staffers are they're not like upholding the the disney vibe anymore yeah that's terrible
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
We had a waiter. You remember the waiter? Yeah. In Sedona who...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What did you think about us? Were you like, how do I murder? How do I kill? How do I conceal the bodies?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It was like too much. And he had like rehearsed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I hate the bits. I hate the... I've been a server at high, like a high-end French restaurant. I've been a server. I've been a cocktail waitress. I've worked at many levels.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And there's a way to give service to people where it's not disingenuous. Like, hey, how are you? I can tell you didn't like that a bunch. Or like...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, it's mean, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because I feel like that's a reprieve from what normally goes on in your brain, which is, I mean, yesterday I was watching the new Bridget Jones movie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
he's like Colin Robinson, the, the emotional vampire from what we do in the shadows. Like they, waiters can drain you of your life supply.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And he was, and I'll tell you something as someone that's been a waitress, he's a career waiter. He is. And he provides excellent service. We'll say like the level of service was great. Like he totally did his job. But I think when you become the, the main character in someone's dinner, it's, you're also robbing that table of them just having an experience at a restaurant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Cause now you're like the life of the party. They don't need you to be the life of the party. You're just there to bring their food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And you came in and you were like, the chick stuff. And I'm like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But as, like I said, like he doesn't need to ever in every five seconds, you're like part of my reach. Like, It's fine. You don't need to pardon the reach. Just get the cup out of my fucking life. Okay. And then they give 500 plates for one thing. You know what I mean? Like just fucking, it's okay. You don't have to come every Tuesday. Everything. Okay. I have everything tasting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like just shut the fuck up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You still good. Yeah. I'm fucking still good. I'll let you know. It's too much service. And what I learned in a French restaurant when I worked at a French restaurant, you know what they teach you in a French restaurant? Is that when you're not bringing food to tables or waiting, you just stand in the room. You stand up against the wall with your hands. And if they need you, they call you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How did I say it? The stupid ass chick stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're just looking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. And you were disappointed because there's no murder. Yeah, I was like, who gets killed in this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Time to get that money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because what goes on in your mind all day is what goes on in there. So the sound bath must have been a pretty crazy thing for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Right. Because let's say, God forbid, the guy with the six bucket of beers wants more alcohol.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Reopen the check.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And then I'd rather take the time as a server to reopen a check in the middle of the show versus at the very end of the night having a stack of fucking you have to close out everybody's bill.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
By the way, a dollar for sauces is ridiculous. Those should be complimentary.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
and by the way i've eaten at guy fairy's restaurant in an airport outstanding it's good i really liked it so i'll pay a dollar for a condiment okay look hawaiian i can't read this my motley q and i like that they name things funny motley q pulled pork sandwich adorable 23.99 that is a lot of money for a Is this in Vegas? You're right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is a lot for a pulled pork sandwich.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Babe, a bacon mac and cheeseburger at $24.99.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, it's not. It's an upper.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But here's my thinking from a branding perspective.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Guy Fieri, I thought, would appeal to a... Maybe like not so high to your price point. You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Vegas, yeah. Vegas, baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's pretty standard. You go anywhere else, and you're going to pay this much for crap.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, no, this is not fair to do to a guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Can I tell you what is kind of disturbing, though, is that guy is holding the live chicken.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Maybe not. I would hold the cooked version. No. Because you don't want to think about the animal you're butchering.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tom's grew a steak. This guy's so mad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But he didn't see the prices before he ordered. You can look at the menu, bro. You don't got to eat there, homie. Look at the prices before you fucking... He's so mad. He's so mad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know what I liked is she had, so I don't know if you've ever done a sound bath, people here. It was fucking cool. It's so fun because they have different sounds. One is like a rain sprinkler.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know, we've all got our things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know what it is? You go to Vegas, you put a few in him, and he gets angry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, they're not subtle about that in other countries. They put pictures of lungs and stuff in Europe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I literally said that. Yeah, you can see the prices on the menu before you order. So why is he shocked?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I mean, look, you and I were in Vegas when we were broke as Broke Comics. You know where we ate?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Chipotle, remember?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
We ate at Chipotle every day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You don't have to eat at Guy's place.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He puts his own picture of him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I can't even do that on my videos. That's cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Chimes. Chimes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's not going to happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's so clever. Did you see that? He gave that like, see how smart I am?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Fuck you, Bill Maher. I got this down. I love when guys like him break it down for you too, the economics of stuff, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, here's the Christmas post. Do you think he's going to complain that they don't say Merry Christmas where he's from or that they've forgotten Jesus? What do you think that video is? It's going to be some complaint about how America has gone south with Christmas. They've forgotten the real meaning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's where my money is. What is yours?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So Merry Christmas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
In June. In June.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I mean, he didn't say, I know he did say season's greetings. Okay. I thought we'd get a rant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, hold on. Echo told us. That was our lady, our sound guide. She, before, notified us that she would be calling in, remember this, spirits from other dimensions to assist us on our journey. And I was like, well, hold on. I didn't authorize that kind of stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
$7.11.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This guy's fucking... No, Popeyes is not going out of business.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, dipshit. But I am upset that California Pizza Kitchen has gone out of business.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. Can you believe that? It's done? Will you Google it? Because there used to be one here at the Bromain in Austin. That's our children's favorite restaurant, CPK. And it's gone. And I don't think it's gone from... No. It did file for bankruptcy in 2020.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
The company emerged with a reduced debt load. Well, the one in Austin's gone, and I am deeply upset. Please, CPK, bring back your Austin location.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
CPK does provide a great product.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I just want to see like... Yeah, what is he like to you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's only got like 2,800 followers. Babe, he's only got 2,800 followers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
All this gobbledygook, this jargon. I don't understand what these people do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Let's go to his YouTube. Let's see what these episodes are like. What is he doing entire episodes on?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, okay. So he's legit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that was the fatal flaw of our sound bath is that it took place in a conference room in a hotel. And every now and then somebody would open the door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is a business advice, guy. I know. Don't do self-checkout. Yeah, no shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I hate self-checkout.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Can we please do some happy birthdays?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, it's my absolute faves.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I closed the door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's so bad, his answer. I love it. I love how bad it is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Happy birthday. Especially the bad Cockney accent is really what gives me the most joy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I love when it's bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It kind of took us out of the moment of the journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I also like how many happy birthdays you can get.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. It's easy to get back in. And I like the sounds. They sound like little twinkles, like twinkle. And then she walks around you. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I do like the long of the ah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That could be a whole new lane. Ah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
If you could do a really long pause like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's really funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He did. And he said, thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What's going on with that kid? What do you think's happening?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Gosh, Jaden. Yeah. He's all over the map, that kid. Fucking stupid. It is fucking stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Let's see you. Oh, you could so do this. Look at that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, and then I was so worried you would fart because it's at a higher altitude, Sedona, and we all had altitude farts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You guys are twin brothers already.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look at him. Oh, my God. You guys really are blue eyes. You got the blue eyes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's stunning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Peter Murphy's got good everything. Good cheek structure, good eyelashes. So here's what you'd have to do to do this. You've got to get a spray tan. I don't think Peter Murphy spray tans. I think that you're exceptionally pasty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And you need a spray tan, and then we've got to put some blue eyeshadow. And that's pretty much it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, it's a little eyeliner. He does it in the waterline, as they say. You could do that. But I still think...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Are you being serious? I would love that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I would love that. Would you try?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I love guys in black eyeliner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Here's the deal, man. You can't wear lipstick with a beard. I mean, that's probably why Peter Murphy doesn't do that. It's not appropriate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, he's incredibly good looking. He's thin. He kept himself in shape and everything. But I still, I love Peter Murphy, but Robert Smith... is where my heart is. I mean, Robert Smith is like my first crush. Can you listen to me? I mean, growing up as a teenage girl, 13 years old, he's my first big crush. I have posters of him everywhere. I'm obsessed with Robert Smith.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
If you could do Robert Smith, You going to do it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, really? Sure. Don't get my hopes up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like I said, I said what I said.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Thank you. Tell them. I like that you're supportive.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's so terrifying. You're like, where are they yelling at?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It'd be so scary if you're in line.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah i have to and i look this is not very politically insane correct to say but nothing scares me more yeah than black black girls yelling like black women yelling holy shit girl get your life i mean i think it harkens back to middle school public school and like like this shit escalates bro and they will fucking throw down yeah they fight yeah here The shit gets real, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is like, I'm having flashbacks to seventh grade.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Fucking Portola Junior High.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
dude black girls are vicious though they will in middle school cut you but yeah the that they say to each other i can't even come up with yeah i know it's pretty good it's like damn dude yeah all right i said what i said did you ever get jumped Of course. Of course. I mean, but yes. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I didn't. Here's the problem, man, is I had come from a nice Lutheran school.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I was like this quiet little blonde girl. I had a little bit of scrappy, a little bit of an attitude. And black girls would talk some shit in the locker room and talk shit everywhere. And I didn't know to shut the fuck. I just didn't know that you don't say anything. And I told them, I was like, why don't you shut up? Shut the fuck up. But this is a locker room. Bad idea.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And then I got on the radar and they're fucking me up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, don't talk to black people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. I just, I don't know what was wrong with me. I don't know. But that shit scares me, dude. To this day, I'm like, foof, get away from that. Get away from that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Don't get in your spirit place.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
i already knew when to shut the fuck up yeah i didn't know that one yet yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean like i defended myself not very well but i'd fucking i fought i tried dude but these bitches got crazy dude like ripping braids out during lunchtime, and they fucking fought. They fought hard. Harder than, like, Chola girls, because Cholas would fight, but never at school.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I feel like I didn't see Mexican girls throw down at school the way black girls throw down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Anyone? Did you see Cholas fighting?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Cholas, girls.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They fight at school?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Do you ever see white girls throw down like that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is a good point because UFC fighters are all crazy white guys, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, but the majority is like crazy white guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Trashy whites.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Love the UFC. So there's something to it. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Violence. Goddamn. Yeah. Asians don't fight. You ever seen Asians fight?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like I'm saying in school, like public school. Yeah, in school I didn't see Asians fight. You ever see the Chinese kids throw down? No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But no Asians. No. No Chinese kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Not one. Koreans, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That Vietnamese motherfucker. He motherfucking lit this dude up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that's true because I do know there are Asian gangbangers, Asian gangs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Especially in L.A., yeah. I just haven't seen it. I just haven't seen it. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, let's get some emails.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Please share it with us. We've never seen it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, I'm lucky. Otherwise, I've had you as a husband. Mike!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Mike. Go do your act, Tom. Get out on the road. Jesus Christ.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I look at the screen and it goes what's up motherfuckers Tom do I have permission then to have lovers get the fuck out of here you bitch girl get your life
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How do we get down this hole?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, the Spirit Air employees.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Does she really do that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. Look, I have sympathy for them. It's a tough gig. Serving the public is... I don't think it's easy. Damn, it's the worst job. I don't think it's easy. It's harsh. Public... You know what's really hard is customer service and people are always angry and... Okay. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's your interpretation of what happened. For me, it was just, I was trying to impress you, trying to get on your level.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How does this chick go on television and not say something? Sorry, my eyes are wide open.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did not. Don't care. It's my vacation. This was my time in Sedona. I was connecting with higher vibrations.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Of course there is. There's a medical problem happening. Unless she's gacked on... She's not gacked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
hanging out to kids what's a misandrist it's a opposite of misogynist yeah someone that hates men oh wait it's a fake word wait so yeah misogyny is woman hating and misandry is man hating misandrist but he's saying i'm a man yeah i don't understand this shit dislike or contempt against men you know
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I honestly did not know that I farted on a woman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You all right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, no, no, no. Like, he just straight out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, gosh. Now I feel bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Come on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did not know that. I really didn't know that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Why not? It's perfect to shit out there. Wouldn't you love to shit in a field? I would love to shit outside with a nice warm breeze.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I would like to open defecate. Can we build me an open defecation area?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'd love to. I've never experienced open defecation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There must be something to it because all the Indians love doing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's fine. Who cares? Just shit out in the field. There's nothing out there anyway. It's rural. Who's it hurting? I think, you know what? I think this woman is open defecation phobic and I think she needs to fucking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They used their hands.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, I know in the, I don't know actually, I know in Muslim countries you use your hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, I've just learned that when I was in Afghanistan that yes, sometimes they use their hand and they wash their hand. That's why you eat with the left, wipe with the right or vice versa, I forget. I don't know, but they're not bringing paper towels out. Yeah, they're not bringing paper towels to the field. No way. Maybe they're wiping with plants or leaves or something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What did she look like? Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is not my fault. Thank you for bringing this up, Josh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look, humans have been shitting for centuries. This is how we all used to shit. Open defecate. Okay. Across North Africa, Middle East, and Asia, people traditionally use their hands to wipe after using the toilet, followed by washing them with water, often using the left hand specifically for this purpose due to cultural hygiene practices.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tommy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is particularly prevalent in Muslim countries where water-based cleansing is emphasized. Yeah, so you wipe with your left and you eat with your right. Got it. You don't ever want to shake a Muslim's left hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, I don't know why she's just singling out the Indians. I'm telling you, it's got to be other.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He just Googled that gas and bloating at high altitudes are common and can be caused by a number of factors, including lower air pressure, trapped gas, and swallowing air. It's not my fault, is what I think Josh Zola was trying to say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. Good for her. Good for them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, well, I do remember the story about open defecation where they would come to like Disneyland and shit in public or come to cities and then shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
See, you know, don't think I didn't notice that when I brought up the idea that the Muslims use their left hand to wipe their ass, you looked at me like I was crazy. Okay, I just didn't know because you guys always are like, oh, Christina, you got these crazy ideas. Let me tell you about the next crazy idea I'm on. Can I talk to you for a second? Sure, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's huge in the mommy TikTok world right now, the mommy sleuths out there. Candace Owens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I love you, girl. Candace, come on your mom's house. You need to explain this, what I'm about to tell my husband.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It is so good. You guys have to go to her website, CandaceOwens.com, to see the stuff for her YouTube. She's staking her career on the fact that Brigitte Macron, allegedly, Candace Owens is saying that Brigitte Macron, the first lady of France, is actually a man. A la mer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
actually a dude come on i know it's crazy and she's got a ton of evidence and this poulard guy who wrote a book i bought the book i'm all into it candace i would love for you to come on and explain this to the world you're so into this i sound insane i've been into it for like a month now every day i'm like holy shit dude brigitte macron is a dude bro let's pull up a brigitte macron
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So here's what I... Oh, we talked about this already on the show. Sorry, yes. But so the series is called Becoming Brigitte. And she goes through their genealogy of the family and how these two meet. And by the way, there's all these stories that Macron meets Brigitte when he is 17 and she is 36. First of all, that's not true. They're saying that he was 14...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I wanted to improve. Press you. What's so bad about wanting your spouse's approval? That's our love language, babe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And that's when they hooked up. And there's a whole ton of evidence. You guys have to get into every detail because it's fascinating that there's no photographs, allegedly, of this Brigitte Macron for 30 years. 30 years, no photographs, okay? She just... She's born. Okay, so then there's like three photographs that they put out of her. This is supposedly her at her wedding.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, they do these AI analyses now of photographs, like the kind that the Chinese use or whatever. And the AI is like, that ain't, That ain't Brigitte Macron. And that guy is actually her, I don't know, uncle, brother, whoever the fuck. It's a whole crazy story. Allegedly, she's assumed she's actually a boy. There's a family photo. Hold on. Where's that family photo? Okay. Let's go back.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Her name is actually Jean-Michel something. Go Google.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So that's when she's teaching.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is true. I really enjoyed Sedona. I like that you and I did that. And then you went on a little bit of a psychedelic thing, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Google Brigitte Macron young family photo. So it starts with here. So basically what happens is she and her husband get into the Elysee, whatever. He's prime minister. And like well-meaning journalists are wanting to investigate her background. Correct. And what they realize is that there's a black hole in Brigitte Macron's background.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
history which is like you can dig up school photos you can dig up everything everything's public so they're saying this this poulard and candace that actually brigitte macron is the little boy here on the left my left and i don't know who the hell this one is sitting on the lap of but isn't it possible that that's brigitte on the lap sitting on the lap
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, because they did like AI analysis of the boy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm telling you, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Or whatever, photo recognition softwares and all of this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, if you look at, okay, can you Google childhood photo of Jean-Michel side-by-side with Brigitte Macron? I'm telling you, this little boy is identical to Brigitte Macron. If you do a side-by-side... And then they found a few photographs of Brigitte.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Brigitte Macron before she became Brigitte. So she disappears. She goes to Algiers, has a sex change, supposedly comes back, and now is Brigitte. It's bananas. No, this is Michael Jackson. Who are you bringing up? Anyway, Candace, please come on the show and explain this better than I am. It's a whole story. It's fascinating stuff. Look, Tucker Carlson follows her, too. It's a whole thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Allegedly, allegedly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Candace, come on. I know you're pregnant, girl. You're in Tennessee.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Jean-Michel. A man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Correct. Cool. Right, so she's actually Jean-Michel. She disappears. She comes back, and now she lives as a woman named Veronique for a while. It's a whole fucking thing, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'll tell you why. Because it's not just that this woman is a man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There you go. See those photos? Those four photos?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They all do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah so they suit them for defamation or slander but it's not on the claims that Brigitte is a woman I'm sorry Brigitte is a man there's slander in the details of the stories it's a long story it's not what you think it is so go back to those images those four images go up boom next row second row scroll down scroll down mommy there Look at those. Okay. Look at, teeth don't lie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look at the middle two images.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Brigitte as, okay. Got it. See that young man? Yes. And then you see Brigitte Macron. Look at that. I mean, are my eyes deceiving me?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What? Just a stranger at the place we were staying at. But that's Sedona. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So the implications for this being, A, if this really is a man who transitioned to a woman, is because having a relationship with a 14-year-old boy is completely inappropriate and illegal and wrong. Secondly, there's ties to... allegedly, Candace is saying, in the Élysée, in the government, they're protecting because they, you know, she believes that this is a culture and they're protecting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There's also links to the Rothschild family. Reggie Macron is actually a Rothschild, which is like the biggest banking company in France. I know. And they're protecting each other's interests. There's incest. There's all kinds of gross things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Satanic cults. The lizard people are controlling. Here's my problem, Tom. Can I tell you my problem? Sure. I'm not doing standup anymore. I'm not out in the world.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm on the mommy sleuth TikTok and I'm here for it. I love it all. I need to get out of the house.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tell me about it because I've never done that. I've never done that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know it. But Candice, I love you. You're doing God's work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm the talk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm the TikTok today. Aliens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That was like a Danish dating show or something. He goes to French. That's the Macron family. That's actually footage of how they say hello to each other at holidays. It's just a cool lady. She's got great tits.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
First of all, what's a Therion? I think these are like the mass cosplay nerds. This is what dorks are doing. Yeah, cosplay. Therion, furry. This is furry culture. Okay. And then quadronics. I'm not sure what a quadronic is. Oh, maybe you're getting on all fours, Claude, doing that dorky shit these nerds do on TikTok. Okay. I don't know when it, these fucking nerds, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They need to go back to being ashamed of themselves.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, it's upsetting now that Ikea is embracing their stupidity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's what I think, too, but this nerd sees it as a cultural validation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I bet she could take them out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There's just a lane of people that are proud of their STIs and they don't want to be shamed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What does that mean?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yo, I didn't even know you light it like crack.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How do you take it? It's like a pipe?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh my God, dude. Like opium or fucking crack?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What does the DMT look like? Is it sticky like opium?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, you smoked rocks, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money, too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run and... Switched to Mint Mobile.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
We use Mint Mobile here at YMH Studios and we have been nothing but thrilled with the service and the price. It makes no sense to overpay. Say buh-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tommy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash mom. That's mintmobile.com slash mom. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month, five-gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
New customer offer for first three months only, then full-priced plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true. But money sure can make you feel a lot of other things like stressed, guilty, and overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. I think Acorns is a wonderful way to start investing in you. It's a simple, simple thing, and it starts your financial destiny growing. Why not try it? Ready to take control of your money? Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 million.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
billion dollars with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier one compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash YMH.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What? What is DM?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, so it's sprinkled in with pot so that you get – see, the pot alone would make me crazy. Can you do it purely without the pot?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I was too scared to touch it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You were like, do you want to go into the forest with this guy I met?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, do you? I was like, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wait, his name is Sage.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But you need it. You're not going to want it, but you need it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're not telling me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
A caterpillar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like Alice in Wonderland.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's tight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been a long transformation. Without you, our genes are low and loose.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If somebody goes, I played in college, they're saying, right. It's like, I got you. Gotcha, gotcha.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, not once. That was it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was your mission.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow. It was such a fun day. It was such a fun day. You don't swim, though, right? Right in studio. To try it clear.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Go ahead, go ahead.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You don't go in the ocean, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's get it. Ryan, you are the Ryan that everyone's talking about. So do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here? I'm sitting there in my office listening to everything. Can we hear him?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which one? Oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
By the way, one of the things we'll get to is that, and he's a huge liar. Go ahead, Ryan. Huge. Can be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But wait a minute. Here's the thing, though. We can get into the semantics of this. Are you saying that he was like, I played basketball when I was in college or I played college ball?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Even my head's about to explode. If you win a rematch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was for hair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes, you got scared. Incorrect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You don't remember saying that you wanted this hair and that the hair thing was all set up?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We got to review the tape. Because I don't remember the conversation going that way. I remember asking, what do you want? And he goes, I'd like to have hair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't remember that. And I remember setting up all the hair stuff, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We were going to send you to Turkey and everything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think the reason that that was shot down was that even though you won, yes, you did, the idea that a boss... your employer could take $10,000 if you had lost did feel like it's like an abuse to do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We've had your Invisalign.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Invisalign, which I would say of the last 15 years, the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign. To anybody in this family. Yeah, especially when they came off. I really hated that a lot. It hurt so bad. You had some other shit, but Invisalign is really what I think this sticks with us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You did say it seemed fair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'll put it on the table.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What about swimming? Hold on. What about swimming? Right before Ryan came in, you said.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh. What about laps, swimming laps? Annie, you said it right before you came in that you would swim laps. You would learn to swim and swim laps. Yeah, no problem.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm excited to kick off my UK and Ireland tour this weekend. I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15 at 3 Arena. Belfast for two shows at Waterfront Hall on March 16. First show is sold out. We added a second show. Manchester at AO Arena March 19. London at OVO Arena Wembley March 20. Glasgow at OVO Hydro March 21st. Nottingham at Motor Point Arena, March 22nd.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cardiff at Utilita Arena, March 23rd. Go get your tickets at tomseguro.com slash tour. I'll see you there, mate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true. But money sure can make you feel a lot of other things like stressed, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. I love Acorns because of that very idea that you don't need to start as a millionaire to start being smart about your finances. Acorns makes that easy. Ready to take control of your money?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, so we're going to discuss some of those things. And plus, you know, there's, you know, other, you know, I'm saying, you know, 19 virus. There's a bunch of things that we can talk about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier 1 compensation provided. Investing involves risk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Acorns Advisors, LLC, and SEC Registered Investment Advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash YMH. If you're like me, your mornings follow a familiar routine with coffee being essential. Since it's the one thing I absolutely need to jumpstart my day every day, I need it to be perfect. So I leveled up my daily coffee routine with trade.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Trade is the number one US specialty coffee marketplace, bringing you fresh coffee from over 50 of the country's top roasters. Trade's experts have taste tested thousands of coffees to curate over 450 amazing roasts. Whether you're new to coffee or know your favorites, they'll handpick the perfect coffee for you. Take their quiz and in under a minute, they'll match you with your perfect coffee.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If that first bag isn't quite right, no problem. Trade will replace it for free until they nail it. I have my trade coffee in this very studio and I love it. It's exactly my favorite taste blend. The strength, they got it just right. Right now, Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at drinktrade.com slash YMH.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's drinktrade, T-R-A-D-E dot com slash YMH for 40% off your first order. Drinktrade.com slash YMH. Okay. Ryan, do you swim?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Real quick to let everybody know in two days. It is March 7th, and that means YMH Live 10 is coming. It is back. YMH Live is back, 7.30 p.m. Central Time. It's our biggest one yet. We're going to tell you some of the amazing details in a moment, but we have the great Dan Soder, one of the funniest comedians working today, is joining us live in studio.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I swam as a kid. I'm pretty good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
will you swim laps for 10 G's and neither of you has to give it up I'll give it up however I would if I don't have to pay for the coach this time I pay thousands of dollars for that shit I'll pay for the swimming coach too wow you'll pay for the swimming coach I'll pay for a swimming coach and I'll put the 10 grand up and I'll give it to whomever wins and I won't have a swimming coach
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But you don't know how to swim.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We will continue this. Let's move to the next thing here because this is nothing gives me more joy besides watching that take place than upsetting and horrifying someone. Stavros came on. Yes. This was episode 7-11. And we showed him Norm's famous poutine. And it was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. This was so great. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This guy's cocking a little fucking thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He paces through the cage.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which, it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's... Oh, fuck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course, there are brand new original sketches and things that we've shot. We're giving away $10,000. You can go to YMHstudios.com for more information there. Grab your ticket, and we will announce the winner live on the show right before the heavy segment. And don't miss the exclusive VIP post show with the great cockroach, Josh Potter.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was just... God, it's stressing me out to re-watch that. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's also getting me primed for YMH Live. I just realized we're going to get more treats like this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Did you get the zing of excitement? Yes. Yeah, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because every time that heavy segment starts, I'm like, ooh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
These clips get me so jazzed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I might get sick here in a second.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's why I think you and I are team jeans. May I take this moment to just promote my lipsticks? This is a perfect moment. Go ahead, guys. Buy your lipsticks at ChristinaP.com. Today I'm wearing Madison, which is just like a light mauve sensation. And then I have Atomic Red, The Perfect Red, and Berlin. ChristinaP.com. Buy all four at the same time for your lady or for your gentleman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Gentleman that wears lipstick. By the way, I'm working on a new piece of art.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's really good. Look at that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not buying her art.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, it's taken on a life of its own. People are now sending us art based on my art, like famous art. Yeah, that's right. It's great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Anyway, that was an amazing time with Stavros.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was incredible. Soon after that, by the way, it finally happened. It was something that we were all anticipating. We didn't know if it would ever happen, and that's when Garth Brooks blocked me, finally, on Instagram. You, by the way, the great fans, the listeners, and viewers of this program, are the ones who got Garth to eventually go private on his...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He restricted all comments at some point because you literally took over all of his social media. Destroyed it. Destroyed it. Everywhere that it exists. Destroyed it. You destroyed it. It was incredible that it happened, but... It started with him blocking certain people, restricting comments. I got a few times where I had comments in there and, you know, they would get liked and commented on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then it just it all went to shit. He just refused to allow anybody in. He eventually it happened on Instagram. Then you guys went over, took over his Facebook, his Twitter. He basically realized there was nowhere safe. And so that was really exciting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's breaking down the walls between us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's breaking down the walls between you and me. And then he thought better of it. In episode 725, something which also is appropriate for this week, which is that we had Dan Soder on. Dan Soder is not just an incredible comedian, and he's super talented in many regards. He also does what many people think is the best impression of Dave Chappelle. Yes. He can actually, he really sounds like him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. And he just, he sounds like him, and he also has the, like, not just the cadence down, but he'll speak the way, like, things he would say. It's pretty fucking impressive. That's really cool. What's the, I haven't heard you do it, but you do a good Chappelle?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So that's all happening March 7th right here, YMHstudios.com.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
These sketches, by the way, that we're doing for this YMH Live are, I think, the best we've ever done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I did. Um, when I did, uh,
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
the what was it the after yeah the after party of the brady roast we went up to the lounge inside and we're in um what's it called what's the venue there the which one were you at the uh the forum we're in the forum yeah so we're at the forum club i guess and it's just it's the party and i see dave and he he's like he's like hey man you know let me get a cigarette i give it to him and i was like uh same kind of thing i was like we can smoke it here he was like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's other level. I mean, we should just say who's going to be appearing. Dare we? Yeah, I think it's worth saying that we brought Tony John to town.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So I was like, yeah, cool. So I light one up with him. And then the bartender's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like, okay. And I just turned to Dave. I was like, they said we can't smoke here. And he was like, So I was like, I'll put this out when you put it out. He was like, I'll put it out when it's done. I was like, okay, cool. I was like, great. I smoked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I like chuffed on that thing because I kind of felt bad because I was like, please. And then I just waited until he was done smoking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, because there is a level of celebrity. Like you're going to tell Dave Chappelle.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's the top tier level.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You're going to tell Dave. It's like you're going to tell Tom Cruise to put the cigarette out. Well, they kind of do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the thing is the guy didn't tell Dave. He told me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But that's why he's like, fuck, I don't give a shit. He's right there. Wow. And also watching that Dan Soder clip makes you realize like when you meet your idol, when you meet your hero, there is nothing cool to say. You cannot talk about how much you love them because it's not going to work. It's never going to work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You have to talk about anything else except the shit that they've done as like an artist or whatever. You can't. You just can't. You can't dork out on them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but the cool thing is, though, that he actually has a great, he still has a great memory of it. Of course. Because you could have, I met my hero, and it's a fucking disaster, and that wasn't that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Woo! Woo!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's why I don't want to meet Robert Smith from The Cure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But if you wanted to dress like Robert Smith.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So he came to town.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, stop. I can't believe you would even want to see something like that. I mean, hey, he doesn't look good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He does. He's still beautiful.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He came to Austin. He did. And did a sketch with us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is how women are different, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I love Robert.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
is that you guys can still find someone attractive yeah even if it's not looking that great yeah you know why we have souls and we're not superficial i know you guys are the worst men are the worst yeah we are like i don't give a about her soul here's the worst what's up with that tits yeah let me leave this family and go bang a 20 year old yoga instructor see he's so hot he's cute
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I love him. Forever. Forever. Okay. Love Robert Smith. That's what you want. Yep. Dude, he's so cool, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I get that he's cool. Yeah, he is cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's rad. But I mean, I think he's a solid citizen, too. Is he wearing the perfect red? Of course he is. It was based on Robert Smith's red. The perfect red. I should send him some. Do you like his voice? Love his voice. Of course. What are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah, he's Robert Smith. He's like the father of all this. I love him. I love him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He did. He came to town. And we also have. I'm just appreciating my cock and my balls. The great Will Blunderfeld. And he's a close friend. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's definitely wearing a lot of lipstick there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Eyeliner. Adorable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. You want to see me in eyeliner?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do I? Oh, for fuck's sake. I'd love to. Black eyeliner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's move on. The next episode that I think is notable. Our former producer Nadav passed away. That was super sad. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He was, I think, eating a dreidel. And then he just fell down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Rest in peace, Nadav.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know. I miss him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look at those tits I used to have.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. I was at my house and I was like, why do I feel sad? This is weird. And I was really sad to lose Nadab. You've been in our lives like, yeah, since 2016, since the birth of our first child. But you were like our first retarded son.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We do have a lot of great memories of you. And we've actually put together a little video.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't want to permanently hurt you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Life partner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You got a nice haircut.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Life coach.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I threatened to show you somebody getting very severely hurt.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The fun bit. You need some up dog. What's up, dog? Mosh, what's up with you, dog?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You want to kill him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You deserve it all. The kicks, the screams, the blood.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look, and he's having such a good time. Look how happy you made him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's what he says after he eats his cum, right? I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was pretty good. There he is. So many great moments with Nadav. So many good ones. My favorite part, I have two favorite memories about Nadav. Number one, that his favorite movie, like the movie he watches over and over, is Drumline.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, and I watched it just to see what all the big stink is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not very good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not a good movie. And I love Nick Cannon. I like the idea. It's stupid. Number two, remember when we were in the Reseda? It was during COVID. And it was hard to come by getting the vaccine. And you had to be a certain weight to be considered morbidly obese to get the vaccine early. And he was like, I'm working on my vaccine weight. I'm going to become morbidly obese to get the vaccine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That is one of the times he says that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Remember that? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm in a gain phase right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That made me laugh so much. How are you doing? How's your weight? He's like, I'm almost there. God bless him. Rest in peace.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Rest in peace, Nadav. Another one that was fantastic, and I ended up meeting her, was remember the coffee girl? Of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sweetest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my God. That was also in the last hundred where she came in here because we had read comments where people were, that's where hate from.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's just say we had a workshop with him. It's incredible. And on top of that, on top of all that, we have the one and only...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
hate from Australia hate from all these places in the world that was just like unbelievable that we and then I actually she came to Austin she came in studio I went to the gym with her she was really really sweet and she's in Toronto um she has her her coffee business but that was um the sweetest yeah was it Caitlin Caitlin she's so sweet and her coffee's fantastic and she just made like sincere videos like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is how I start my day. People were like, I hate you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Waking up. Yeah. Just so sweet. So innocent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was really crazy, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why Mix Live is so exciting. This is our first one in a while.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So this is like that vlog cadence that also people wanted to die with. Yeah. Please delete your account. He would say such mean shit to her, but she ended up being, of course, like the sweetest person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The nicest. Probably one of the sweetest guests we've ever had. Hate from Australia. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
She was delightful.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We had a run of some incredible guests that came in. Jesse Lee Peterson came in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then Gene Simmons. Yes. And then Will Blunderfelt.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
One of the coolest guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So many gets this year.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God. It was just like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How much fun was Gene Simmons, too? I mean, he really came.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If you love your penis, your self-esteem goes up. I mean, Will.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's also true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Will change my life. Like getting to meet him in person and feel his aura and to feel his love and presence. I just think he's such a special human being. He is a special human being. He's really amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Charo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then... Shortly thereafter that, ICP came on. Now, one of the building blocks, the foundations of this show, if you don't know, is... You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And we have always done... You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Supercuts, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And these guys came in, or not these guys, sorry, at this time, wasn't it just the, was it both?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, it was both. Shaggy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right, because the first time it was just one. Yeah. Well, they came in and we got to do, after their appearance, maybe the super cut of super cuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which was a, you know what I'm saying, super cut from these guys that was just unbelievable. They dropped so many, you know what I'm saying, that we had to...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
spend hours going through this and putting together, by the way, this super cut of, you know, I'm saying doesn't even have all the, you know, I'm saying they had to like whittle it down just to get the proper, you know, I'm saying super cut going. So we have that for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Unbelievable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was, yeah, that was really.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what I'm saying? Supercuts of, you know what I'm saying? Supercuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the best. I don't think you can make another one after that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, that episode was explosive. We also got that supercut, but don't forget, that's where we learned that going airtight is gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is, according to some. To some. Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, airtight really was a thing that we really wanted to dig deep in. We've had conversations with people who had had threesomes, and we thought, what more could you want? And it turns out one more is what you want sometimes. And so some women opt for every hole to be plugged.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
a crazy short film that we made. It's not even a sketch. It's a short film. It's the biggest one we've ever done, and we're super excited.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And through that conversation, it led to us meeting Airtight Abby. And Abby called into the show and she gave explicit details about her exploits. And she was a very adventurous person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Was Abby the one where she went and she had sex with all the black guys?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the one. On the team? Yeah. That is the one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was wild.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then she told another story that kind of made us all sad. But yeah, I think she met a guy at the club and she took him back to the...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
or went back to his place and then eventually people started walking out of their of the apartment and they're like can i get in on this she was sure but airtight abby was was yeah it was really it was such a cool story because you and i couldn't believe that people did it in real life yeah because it sounded it sounds like such you know adult film like yeah like just a fantasy you know not real who gets to do that she was like no i did it i did it this generation boy they get it all they
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
get it all airtight abby airtight really really sweet girl um i had the opportunity to meet her and um you did you don't remember that no oh yeah i didn't yeah you didn't go airtight on her no i didn't i didn't know yeah there was an option to meet her somewhere and i did it yeah you're like no thanks no i i believe you said no thanks
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I was like, don't you meet airtight Abby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, that's how that went.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How dare you? Just a jealous lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No. I'm sure she's a sweetheart, by the way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But the best moment with these two, the ICP guys are the best. Yeah, I was like, you guys don't go airtight with each other? And he's like, what? Hell no, that's gay. Such a good moment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
There's so many crazy things that happen, obviously, over these years. But another thing... We had our suspicions, but we learned that our very own technical director, Eni, is a really high-level sociopath. I don't know if I'd describe it like that. Fartgate 2024 was such a revelation. I've never seen...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And of course, I always have to remind people, and I'm happy to do it. A lot of people worry because it's called YMH Live. They're like, what if I can't be there live? You can still watch the show after the original live version. If you get a ticket, you could watch it Saturday, Sunday, the next week. It's viewable for you anytime.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like the episodes of the first 48 that I've seen all made more sense when he was pressed with a crime because he was so believable. It was just insane. And it turned out he was just a huge fucking liar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's a liar. And he's a good liar. Good one. Because I was siding with him for years. I've been on any side. Not anymore, bro. That's not nice. Fool me once. I did nothing. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I was like, man, what does Chad have against him? Like, it was just crazy to me. And what Chad had against him is that, and he's a fucking liar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's a liar. And Chad was right. Chad was just being an honest, good boy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And the whole staff was like, yeah. And he was like, man, these motherfuckers are all lying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Do you realize we have him on tape farting and then he has the audacity to deny it to his bosses and then to millions of people who watch this program. That is other level sociopathy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which is exactly why you're employee of the month.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he also, he did this crazy reveal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You belong here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Where like, remember the video played? And I thought we were going to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Exonerate him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. And it was just like, ha ha, I got you guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This guy is nuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's out of his fucking mind.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't know who made that shit, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's ridiculous. Okay, we don't believe you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Didn't he bring it up at the Christmas party, Tom?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Denying it to your face right now?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not that good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is this when we first saw this video? Is that what this is?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The surveillance?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The surveillance or his reveal? This is his reveal. Okay. Okay. Yeah, let's see. I forgot some of it, actually.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, blocked it out. Traumatic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's just if you want to be there live as it happens, it's going to be 7.30 p.m. Central on March 7th.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, you're talking over the video, man. Is that real?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What happened there, Eni?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Okay, but you did hear yourself in there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's amazing. It's a maze. It's a maze.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but Your Honor, I feel like because we didn't see the conversation, and he has a good point, anybody can go... He could just play a fart. Yeah, and then he could have had them be actors and create a moment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Maybe he wrote the script and then they recorded it over a black screen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You ready to start the show? Of course. All right, here you go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But that wasn't Cougar. If you watch this and you don't immediately have more respect for what law enforcement goes through. They have to deal with this shit all the time. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like he lies. Professionals. No, no, I know. That's part of being a good criminal is lying. And postscript to this whole thing. Now, any apparently just farts with reckless abandon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
All the time. Yeah. Do you even take credit for the farts now?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We had it on tape. Get me on live.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's compulsive. Yeah. He cannot help himself with the lies. You can't help yourself, can you, you sicko? fart gate was um it was fart gate and then the lying about what the bet was on the last thing we talked about like oh he said it was 10 or any amount of money oh then this is him right here just going yeah like where is that that ain't my house that ain't what my house looks like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, the level of disrespect, man. What's this accent? Hey, yo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, yo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, hey, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We disrespect brother like that. Shit ain't nice. This is crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
this reminds that right there that yeah what we just saw yeah if that doesn't remind you of presumed innocent the incredible debut of edward norton as an actor with richard gear where he's accused of killing that priest and then you and he's like he's all you know yeah the whole movie and at the end he's like i convinced them all didn't i and you're like oh my god it was exactly like that give him his oscar
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Give him his Oscar or just sentence him to 25 years in prison because that's a fucking career criminal right there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What is he doing in his off time? Don't you think if he's lying this much to his employers?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's probably doing foot job review videos. I don't know. It's just crazy. Crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yep. Typical. Typical. Typical. Typical what? Typical any. Lies.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, shit. Hey, I stood up for you. You saw it on tape.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You were part of the bit?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, eventually, yeah. He admitted it. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, what up now, bro?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because I was like, Annie, they're totally, because this is off camera. I was like, Annie, they're totally ganging up on you. Is this true? Like, I was so doe-eyed, and I came up to him, and he was like, yeah, farted. And I was like, what? And I was shattered. Right? Do you remember that day? I was fucking shattered.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You were smiling. I was shattered. I was heartbroken. And then I was like, let's keep fucking with Tom now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You just remembered right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like that time when you left town and I put a hole in the wall to get the hamster out of the wall that was behind you at dinner. It's two sneaky things I did this year to you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then there's Chris Larson's video came in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cheers. He's the only Pepsi guy here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Crazy. Nobody likes Pepsi except for Chris. It's so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He loves Pepsi.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You got free will. You can do that. Those are big gulps, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but I would see people like him in radiation. They don't hold up very well after treatment for these things. You don't want to start your life that way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's crazy. You know, we've been sharing those haircut things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my gosh, you and I have been passing each other these videos, these awful haircut videos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know Andy Milonakis, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes, of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So he's been around forever. He still looks 13 or whatever. He's done a lot of funny shit, but I saw this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's in Italy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So wait, so he's in Italy, clearly walks into a place, tells him what he wants. Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he thought it was a lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Get it, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sucks so bad. Oh my god. That's all you can do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mom Segura.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That made me laugh. That's the worst haircut. Fuck. That's the worst. That's so bad. It's terrible. It's the sad lady shut it down fucking haircut. It's the shut it down menopause cut. This is why I stick with the same hairdresser, Alan Martinez. Shout out for the last fucking 20 some years. You know, one time when I was in England, I couldn't see Alan. And I went in to get a haircut.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And I was like, just like a bob. Like, I've always had a bob. Just give me like a shorter bob, okay? Yeah. This fucking cunt rag.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
cut my hair like meow like the like so like a mushroom meow like this fucking short the thing you don't realize until you see it horrible how much hair informs it's everything like this looks like a sad lady right like that's what he looks like now he didn't know that was a boy it's really crazy he didn't know that was like a gentleman no he didn't he had no idea he gave him the prettiest old lady bellissima you are sexy still don't let anybody tell you you are not
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But also very rare that they straighten out curly hair unless you say, I want straight hair. He's naturally wavy. Yeah. They should have cut the hair wavy. That's crazy. Okay. God, that's so upsetting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You remember a few weeks ago we were all, the whole world was really taken by this, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
uh hitler hell and the nazis i i really don't think that he was uh because i honestly think that hitler was a good guy based upon my own research not my own it's always your own research i didn't fucking listen to it so he's yeah we were all like this is the last we're gonna see of bryce mitchell it's not thank god he is out there and uh Keep going, Bryce.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The best thing is that this begins with what you believe is addressing this video, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
A helicopter can't fly around that far. I don't understand what this fucking hillbilly is saying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Easy money given for jobs. I would do that for cash. That's easy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's cool that his little kid gets to hear this stuff, too. What a lucky baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's going to get that firsthand education.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know, you've got to do your own research, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's always good when somebody leads with that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Your own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Have you done your own research?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like what? Just internet stuff? Like weird articles?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nothing about life on Earth makes me think that it's round or rotating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why are they so against the Earth being round? What is that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because they told us that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The scientists? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just trying to get us to fucking believe stupid shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is it anti-Christian or something? The Earth being round?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He said the devil at one point.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, so Satan's in charge of the roundness of things, of the earth. Is that what it is? Maybe. That's so weird. I don't know why they don't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's so content though. That's the thing about being dumb.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That is like, it's really, I think, satisfying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's enviable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You believe your own dumb thoughts and then you're so pleased with yourself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I thought about that for my whole life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If I could just be a little dumber, how much happier I'd be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You. Or maybe a. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's not the brightest guy, but yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, and it says the earth is a circle. Isaiah 40, verse 22, whatever. Made with a compass. Yeah. Laid upon a face which is bounded as it ends. It does not move and is covered by a dome. So this is like the biblical conception of cosmology, whatever. It's silly, though. This is...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So easy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
that's my own research i hate everything do your own research do your own research try your own diagrams dummy do your own research that's that's kind of like the that's usually like the first thing that people who um are really dumb
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, they do their own research. I do my own research. What are you talking about? Anyway, I can't. I can't, Tom. Can we switch topics here for a moment?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think it is Stevie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do your own research. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He also had this. This is another one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nobody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Maneuverability. It's crazy too when someone this dumb is this good at fighting because he can kick 99% of people's asses on earth. So it's like you could argue with like the dumbest fucking guy you've ever met and then he could just kill you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Yeah. But that's because God only gives you one or two talents tops. You can't be all things. You got to choose one or two lanes and just stay in your lane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You shouldn't be a podcaster if you're this stupid. You really can't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, I'm glad that he's putting this out there. For us, yes. I feel like this is going to be a real well of information.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If he continues, Pike.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think he's going to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If he gets sponsors.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The engagement is going to be, it has to be crazy for him. Sure. Of course, it's not that positive, but yeah. You do see, though, that a lot of people are on board with him. I know. There are people who are like, fuck yeah, people trying to tell you that Earth rotates. Fucking bullshit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, good for him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Stop, drop, and roll. What if the car rolls? Is he driving like the Jeep with no doors? I don't fucking know. Is that what he's thinking about? I don't know. You got to tuck and roll. But, oh, I wanted to get to this so we don't run out of time. Yeah. Because it is a timely topic, and I wanted to go there because the mom world... is ablaze with the new Ilaria Hillary Baldwin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
My favorite thing is a young person going, like, this is some things I'll put out. Like, this is your digital footprint.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Alec Baldwin show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Alec Baldwin show on TLC. Now, I haven't watched a full episode, but I thought we could go through some of the footage. I mean, look how handsome he was when they started together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Dating, yeah. A while ago, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Seven.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How many nannies?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, a little Latin there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Forever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're solid and we're here, pero together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Somos juntos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He looks like hot dog shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, I mean, he doesn't look the same. He's also, how old is Alec Baldwin? He's got to be in his 60s, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No pun intended. Like, yeah, I got a couple foot jobs recently. And you just do an online review of them for people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
At least. But he was, can I tell you about the great tragedy? He's 66. He's 66 years old. I know, but the great tragedy is how hot he was. I mean, I had such a crush on him as a teenage girl. He's a movie star. The Marrying Man, I think. Look him up in that movie, The Marrying Man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look at Alec Baldwin, 1989, 1990.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Him with Kim Basinger, Basinger, the two of them were together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
God damn, couldn't there be a more attractive couple?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, he's a very good looking guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Stunning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He played Jack Ryan. Right. With his scarf. This is so cute.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know. All the Baldwins are hot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Good looking guys, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then I think having seven kids on top of this accident thing must have just aged him in dog years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he's really good, by the way. Not just a good looking guy. He's a really good actor. Yeah. He's done, oh, of course, Beetlejuice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Beetlejuice. My favorite. And he's got a great voice, that gravel voice. Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, because is the community so vast and various that they need a reviewer? It's not like buying a car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He narrates on that Wes Anderson, the Tenenbaums. Look at that chest. Hairy chest. Oof. That's a man right there. Yeah, dog.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm looking right underneath it. It says Alec Baldwin mistaken as a hobo. You know what that is? That's life. That's how life actually goes. There's a certain link that says hottie Alec, and this one says mistaken as a hobo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mistaken as a hobo. Yeah, he's got it rough. There he is with Kim Basinger in the 80s. Wow. What a beautiful couple.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You can't judge the guy for his looks at 66. I can.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
All right. I can.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I mean, I know, but he's 66.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I just think it's bad life decisions. I think that having seven children would age anybody. Well, of course it would. It's not cool. It's too many kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't know why you keep having that many kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's too many.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know, it's insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And by the way, how many nannies do they have? Give me a fucking break that it's just the two of them. The 66-year-old dad and her. What can a 66-year-old dad contribute? He can't do shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. He looks like he's fucking 19. I know. He's going to go in for an interview at some point where he'll be like, are you the foot job review guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's basically grandpa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. It's too much. Yeah. yeah he came to play so my friend my mom friend we're all gonna nap that's what's gonna happen in that oh my god alex dreadful reality show is a new low for tv fucking a man yeah but that you know but they they don't like the good stuff we do like my husband is not gay they probably low reviewed that show too i'm ssa They don't know what they're talking about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Don't listen to these motherfuckers. So anyway, my mom friends were texting me. Would you like to hear their review?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let me show you what my friend fucking... What are the moms saying out there? In the mom world... Okay, because we keep up on the Ilaria. I watched it yesterday. It's on Max. You have to watch. There are babies crawling up on tables, kids running around screaming. It's a madhouse. It's a madhouse. It's got to be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then my other mom friend was saying there's this part of the episode where he's complaining to Ilaria that... she's the one in charge of getting the kids going. She's in control of the kids. And he's like, I used to have a say in how the kids were. I don't have a say anymore. And she's like, well, yeah, I'm the mom. And I fucking agree. It's like, go work, go make the money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let me deal with the kids. Because dads are not wired for that shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I agree.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What meds does Juju need to take it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, right. Whatever you say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What size are Juju's pants? 16. You don't know shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And that's just most dads. It's just our generation, especially Alec Baldwin's generation. He don't know shit about the kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let him go to work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And let the fake Latin lady run the house.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Or even a lady. Yeah. Maybe a dating person down the road is like, what the fuck?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Women are better at that stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I agree. I agree.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Guys, this is not for men.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Not for straight guys. That's the company. You run that company.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right. I think the traditional way is fine. Unless you have some fucking beta cuck husband. He doesn't want all that to say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nobody fucks. Men don't want to do it. No. He doesn't want to raise the kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
People had asked, by the way, they wanted to know the update for the woman hitting my car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And I just wanted to tell you, without getting into too much detail, it's being taken care of. Okay? Stupid bitch. And by that, I don't mean that I'm letting it go. I'm not letting it go, and that's how it's being taken care of. Don't you dare.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So what is this, so we did make some, I don't know if you want to say it or not, but we made a little bit of progress in your investigation of Brigitte Macron. And do you want to say that we reached out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why did you feel compelled to post this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You say it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, we reached out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
To Brigitte.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just kidding. To Candace Owens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Who you said is like the leader in this story.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. This is Candace Owens' big moment right now. She is exposed. Brigitte Macron. And as you know, Candace is pregnant right now. So I think flying in might not be doable for her. But we're arranging a Zoom interview so she can fill us in on this Brigitte Macron thing. And I'm telling you, the Macrons are panicking. They're sending her, you know, hundred letter threats and all this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is real. And none of them being like, hey, Brigitte is a woman. Stop saying that. That's not true. They're not even trying to call her out on that. It's very exciting stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Please do not use gendered language. I miss all that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We'll find out what the real story is here. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's what happened. So hopefully we'll get the full story soon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But just let us say this now as we wrap up, that it has been the most fun, I think, of our careers that we've gotten to do this show. I never want to stop doing YMH. There's... This is episode 800, and I hope we're doing 800 more of these.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been a lot of fun. And thank you, you guys, for making this possible. Thank you so much. This started as a silly dream in our little house in Silver Lake with a neighbor that made smelly food through the walls. Yeah. And we've moved it to every house we've been to, and you guys have come with us, and we really appreciate that. It's been amazing. Quite a ride.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been amazing. We look forward to doing it more, and hopefully we'll see many of you on March 7th. YMHstudios.com, YMH Live is back, and we'll see you soon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, that's cool. Also, I'll say this. His analogy was fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. Squid or octopus.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You're like, this is not the normal thing I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, he was saying, too, that the older broad has calluses, which definitely that adds up. It's just inevitable over time. Yeah. You know, but how does she get the grip with the feet? Practice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You just got to practice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's what I'm wondering is how do you get a firm grip with the middles of your feet? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'll show you. So anyway, it's cool that I have a feeling this is just my assumption here. Yeah. This is not the only review this man has left. It may be worth exploring what other reviews he puts. There's no way he's just like living life and decided this is a one off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, no, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This person probably has a bunch of cool reviews.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's really risky to put it out there at 19. It's pretty young. He's young. He's not at the end of his life where he's made his money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. The young not realizing what they're doing. So this is one lane where he's obviously talking about busting nuts. Here's another way that you could be young and kind of ruin things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What's everybody? It's time for the 800th episode of Your Mom's House. Woo! Woo!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're thankful for you for being a viewer, a supporter of the show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're listening.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
See, that sets you up for life. Yeah. This exists forever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, it's a good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's a good one to put out there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's a good one. Because, you know, in the 90s, maybe every now and then you'd meet a rando like that. Yeah. And you're like, that guy's just fucked up. And then you talk about it for years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, you'd be like, remember the guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Remember that guy that called you an animal? And then you'd be like, this guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is the guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Here, let me pass this around. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And his life is over. his employment possibilities, his whole career trajectory. His life is done. It's so fucking done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Fucking Bryce. Border hopper niggas. Bryce just destroyed his future. And he probably had a good one because he's wearing a nice polo button-up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That might be a work. That looks like it's an actual, it's not like a choice from his closet. He might have been working this event. Just check up. Tied one on. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Isn't that wild? That's so many genes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like when his boss was like, whoa, wait a minute. What are you doing? What, bitch?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow. And not only that, I will say. He had a lot of notes. Yes. And what's really interesting is that he pulled out Beaner, which is old school. That's old school, yeah. So somebody older than him is training him is what I'm thinking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's so crazy, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The kids for today, they don't really know that. They don't know Beaner. No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You goddamn beaners.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He comes from a cool line of people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Right. His mom and dad are saying this crap to him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We found 800 different ways to talk about brown, injuries, cool guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, it's not just him, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's pretty cool. Ooh, 1444? Yeah. What? This is so stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He had it all. He got Hitler. Wow. He said, you fat bitches. Bitches, yeah. What's up, bitch? And he said to kill people, to slice their throats. I thought he was going to be like, you know why you should slice your throats to the border? This Mexican food is delicious. I thought he was going to turn it to the food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which is true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, he's hearing this speech from dad, I think, or uncle.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Somebody our age is training him. Taking our job.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The taking our jobs speech.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's the stupidest thing ever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The oldest, dumbest, most fucking ignorant speech of all.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It really is. They're not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Coming here, taking the jobs we want.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The gardening jobs. The landscaping.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Did you want to pick strawberries? You realize that these people are willing to work 18 hours a day and not complain for all this shit. It's unbelievable. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But the problem is this guy never knew any beaners. You know what I mean? He didn't grow up around Mexicans the way that I did, you did in Latin culture. He has no respect for them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mental illness.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, he has no respect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No knowledge. He doesn't know any Mexicans.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The country club he grew up in, he never met them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He didn't. He's going to get to know some now. He's going to have a whole new life experience now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know, one good thing about... Are you the guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
They're going to go, are you the guy that said... Goddamn border hopper niggers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
800 episodes?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is that you? Is that you? I was going to say that the one bright spot about MAGA and Donald Trump returning to office is that now these cool clips are resurfacing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sexual things. Yeah. It's pretty cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of a lot of Hitler clips, a lot of, you know, get them out of the country, they're taking our job clips. Those are really surfacing up now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's making people poke their chest out again.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Getting comfortable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So today, yeah, this marks the 800th time we've done this podcast.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, get comfortable with it. You're gonna have a whole cool bunch of things happen in your life. It's fun that you're young enough that you get to experience a full life now. A full life. Yeah. So anyway, there's so many cool things to review and talk about. One of the things we were going to do is talk about some of the best moments of the last 100 episodes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
One of the first things that comes to mind is episode 704. This is when Ryan and Eni challenged each other to basketball.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do you remember? I remember how... I couldn't believe how competitive Eni was. You really dug deep. First of all, you were one of the only black guys I ever knew that was like, I'm not good at basketball. I didn't play. It wasn't my obsession growing up. Why is that, Eni? Yeah, well, that's my other half talking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Right. But then you were like, I cannot let my black half down. Exactly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which I can't even wrap my head around that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's just so many episodes. It's a blur.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's a blur. Yeah. It's been through really... huge part of our life I mean that's all of it we've been doing this roughly 15 years now so this was like we were we were we were married but we had just gotten married yeah basically we were in an apartment in Silver Lake just took us through we've had two kids I know family deaths yep we've had so many we've moved homes we've moved states
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think what Ryan was saying was that he didn't claim to play on a college team. It was that he played basketball in college. In other words, not for the school, but it was just part of his... You mean like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, yeah, like pickup games.