Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure | Your Mom's House Ep. 797
Wed, 12 Feb 2025
Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide + 2 Free Dream Pillows with Mattress Purchase. Try VIIA Hemp! https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. It’s another episode of YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! This week, Mama and Papa Jeans open the show with a clip of a cool guy who wants to go fishing with Hitler, before diving into some clips of another talented artist who whistles. They next check out some back shot advertisements from Tony Johns and Christina makes a proposition to Tom about her ideal man. Fresh off the farm, Tom Green enters the mommy dome to share what he's been up to lately and to discuss not one, but two different projects about his life floating around in the streaming world. They also talk about his classic Subway pranks, an appearance by Joe Rogan on Tom Green's show back in the day, and watch clips of fan submitted happy birthday drive-thru pranks. Tom Green also experiences some horrible or hilarious clips and Christina's TikToks, and invites the mommies to speculate on Garth Brooks. Your Mom’s House Ep. 797 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:30 - Opening Clip: Fishing With Hitler 00:07:26 - Clip: Dana White Addresses The Dummy 00:15:02 - The World's Greatest Whistler 00:21:28 - Clip: Tony Johns Advertising Backshots 00:23:13 - Clip: No Soy Boys 00:23:49 - This Is The Type Of Guy You're Gettin' 00:29:26 - This Is The Tom Green Segment 00:36:55 - Happy Birthday Drive-Thru Pranks 00:44:40 - Clip: Tom Green's Subway Order 00:50:24 - Clip: Karen Getting Arrested 00:52:54 - TikToks 00:57:59 - A Normal Life 01:11:23 - Clip: A Barrel Roll 01:14:20 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:17:31 - Garth Brooks 01:22:34 - Closing Song - "Moose Soup Remix" by Matt Mercer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the opening clip about?
Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.
Hello, Governor.
Hello. What's everybody? It's another show. We're here. We're excited. We have an incredible guest today. Um, we got a lot of cool things to show you.
So many. What's everybody?
It's Charles.
Okay.
Um, that's so good.
Let's play some more of that.
You like that? Yeah. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: Who is Tom Green and what projects is he working on?
I don't think I'm going to stop bleeding because there's somebody else in the White House.
That's a good point. Guys, here's a great segue. Buy my Perfect Four lipstick. I'm wearing Berlin today because I'm feeling saucy. My period is spicy. You can get that at ChristinaP.com. I have four colors. I say just buy them all. You know what I'm saying? Especially if you're a guy, you need a gift for your lady for VD. It's your birthday.
It's your birthday. It's your birthday. Yeah.
Going to have some exciting images coming up soon on ChristinaP.com. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Yeah. Do it. So, yeah, that was cool. Having her here was cool, man.
How are you feeling?
Pretty good. I had a pretty, well, a period dump, you know?
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Chapter 3: What are the hilarious drive-thru pranks discussed?
Chapter 4: How did Tom Green feel about Garth Brooks?
Tell me, what are your symptoms?
um just like some hot flashes and uh you know i'm starting to cramp and i can just feel i just want it to start so bad yeah yeah the anxiety of it before it comes is the worst it's the worst i can't wait for menopause yeah what period are you using an app to track your cycle yeah yeah what's the app uh keep bleeding yeah yeah what do you use um period tracker Oh, yeah.
That's what everybody used to use.
You know, I don't know if this is true for you, but if I saw this on TikTok, Maddie Gates, I don't know if you know this, but she told her boyfriend, does this happen to you when you eat spicy food? It makes your period spicy.
Yes. That's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.
Wow.
What about you? Where are you with your period?
Oh, my God. It's just like waiting for it to happen is the worst.
Same. I think we're cycled up again.
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Chapter 5: What happens in the segment about TikToks?
Hitler burned queer books.
Now, the real question is, what's episode two going to be like?
I don't know if there will be a second episode. Because your second episode would have to be all about your first episode. I don't know.
Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy I'd go fishing with.
You think meth really turned Hitler bad? That also might be... You know, sometimes you hear sentences... That might be the first time that sentence was ever spoken. Like, ever in the history of humanity. Hitler would be a cool guy. Before Hitler was on meth, that's a guy I'd go fishing with. Oh, yeah, here's... This was great, by the way.
And I'm sure you guys heard what Bryce Mitchell said. If you haven't, said some... Probably... I've heard a lot of dumb, ignorant shit in my day. But this one's probably the worst. Um... When you talk about Hitler, he's responsible for the death of 6 million Jews, and he tried to completely eliminate a race of people. World War II was the deadliest war in history.
15 million military deaths, 45 million civilians, and 25 million soldiers were killed in World War II. Second of all, Hitler is one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth, and anyone that even tries to take an opposing position is a moron. That's the problem with the Internet and social media. You provide a platform for a lot of dumb, ignorant people.
We've obviously reached out to Bryce, and when we read what he said... and let them know how we feel about it. I don't even, we're beyond disgusted.
He then went on to say, it was great, though, because he was like, he's like, you know, yeah, he can say it because you can say what you want. He goes, but what's great is that, you know, he will be in the octagon and then everybody can just cheer for him to get the shit kicked out of him. Yeah, that's true.
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Chapter 6: What are the main themes of Tom Green's new show?
Because that's what they do. I've seen people do that. I know. I know. I'm not. Listen, let's give Tony the benefit of the doubt.
Benefit of the doubt. We need you sober and slinging dick out there. That's right. But we don't want you inebriated.
No, and keep working, Tony. Keep getting a job because I think the job is what keeps him in line and on track.
It's true. I don't like him unemployed. Different men attract women in different ways. That's so true. There's certain guys that like, I don't know, some guys do this bullshit.
I don't like that.
Your man doesn't have a lean, energetic, strong physique. I don't like it. Get you off the pill and toxic cosmetics and build a purpose-driven business and lead, protect. He's one of those. It's not for me. But it's still an angle. It's just an angle.
It's a way to get laid.
Certain chicks are going to see that and be like, I like him.
I know, but it's too aggressive. I personally, I mean, you've known this about me. I like the weirdos. I like a dark knight. I like, I'm into, you know, the vampires. I like Peter Murphy. I like Robert Smith.
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Chapter 7: How does Tom Green describe his farming experience?
All I'm saying is I did that for you. Do you think you could do that for me?
Dress up like Tina?
No. Dress up like Robert Smith or Peter Murphy or Dave Gahan.
One of your goth heroes?
Just once. You've never worn black eyeliner. You've never put on any of my lipsticks, and I have every shade for every skin tone. You didn't even try red.
Look, Hitler, what he did was he got rid of the queers.
They're not queer. They're all married to women.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
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