Abby
Appearances
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
Everyone was like, this girl, she is well-connected. She has these great grades. People in Tuscaloosa love her. She has a bunch of friends in the sorority community.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
It was expected to be this like celebratory story. Everyone was like, this is going to be a big deal. She's going to be the girl that changes things.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
All the families come out and everyone's cheering for the girls that are running to each house and boys and fraternities are handing them flowers. It's a community, social thing to be celebrated.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
Everyone was just really surprised, and people were whispering, like, wow, something definitely happened.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
She was one of the few out-of-state girls in our pledge class. She was from Texas. You don't think of Bastion of liberal ideas, Texas, but she grew up in a city. And so she came not caring about the social do's and don'ts or the proper etiquette stuff. And I was like, well, if there was someone in that house who had something to say about it, it would have probably been her.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
Media training is a part of being in a sorority. It's very frowned upon to talk about what happens on the inside of sororities and fraternities. And no one likes to be a squeaky wheel.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
So many people had written stuff about Greek life, be it the racism, the hazing, all of that. But everything was able to be kind of chalked up to just jealous or like they don't know what it's like. But this story had people within the system calling it out.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
I remember I talked to my dad, who was in a fraternity at Alabama. He was worried for me, like genuinely worried. I'm pretty sure he made a joke about someone's going to come burn you a cross in your front yard or something. but it was more just like pissing people off for messing things with how the way things were and putting campus in a bad spotlight.
The Commercial Break
Introducing: Campus Files
I was keeping her updated on when it was going to publish and the night before it published, I was like, it's going to publish tomorrow. And then she texted me back, put my name on that shit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Hey, Dr. John, thanks for calling me. I was just listening to your show this morning.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Well, I currently work my dream job away from home, but I'm getting married in a couple of months and I'm worried about my ability to be the wife that I want to be while working off. And I don't know at what point do I give up on my dream job.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
I work about two hours away from home, and during the week, I have to stay out of town, and then I only get to come home on the weekends.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
No, it's like I have to sacrifice my personal life to have this work life that I want.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
I'm just really passionate about the work that I get to do. I get to work with animals regularly. I'm out in the woods every day. And so it's extremely fulfilling in that aspect. But I do have to sacrifice a lot of my personal life for that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
The only reason that that is not an option for us is my fiance makes significantly more money than I do at this job. And his job is located two hours away from this one. So moving is just not an option because he would have to take such a significant pay cut for us to do that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Yes, we have. And both of our families live close to where his job is, and we are extremely close to our families and want to keep that. Our goal has always been to live close to our families so that one day when we do have kids, we're raising them with our village.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Yes. Yeah, he knows. He's extremely supportive. My job is also his dream job. So he's extremely supportive and he understands why I'm doing it. The hope has been for me to eventually get a job down in central Louisiana where we live. But it seems like that's not...
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
That's not going to become a thing anytime soon because I've been waiting on some jobs to come open, but they've been canceled with a lot of the federal funding cuts. Yeah, no kidding. And they've been pushed back.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
I would say it doesn't even feel like I'm working when I'm at work. I get to trap and band ducks and respond to wildlife emergency calls. I get to help landowners manage their properties so that they get uh, quality deer herds. And I'm just, I'm outside and I'm having fun and I'm in the sunshine every day.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Like it just feels like I'm outside playing every day, but it's work and I'm getting paid for it. And I can't tell you how many times I've been working and I'm like, man, I can't believe I'm getting paid right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
I think my most recent fear with it, especially with all of these cuts, is if I do leave my job so that I can be home full time, I'm afraid that I'll never find another biologist job again, especially not one that's this fun. Because a lot of the jobs... In my field, you're doing a lot of soil work and plant work. It's not as wildlife-based, but this job is extremely wildlife-based.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
It's like I hit the jackpot with a biologist job with this one.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Yeah, that's how I feel about my job.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Right. And that's what I feel like I'm moving on to. a new season of my life with getting married and I have ideas of the kind of wife I want to be. I want to be available, you know, and I just, I see how much my job takes away from my personal life and this dream, this idea of what I have, of what I want my personal life to be.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
You know what? My fiance actually told me that I'm a wildflower and I can grow anywhere I go.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Well, I appreciate that. And I think that wherever I go, it'll be whatever I make of it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Yes, and maybe you're right. It is just a season of my life that I'll look back on and show photos to my kids and be like, look how awesome your mom used to be. Well, hopefully I'll still be awesome.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Wife Had an Affair With Another Woman
Right, and I'm just... I've been doing this now for close to two years and I can feel, I feel myself getting burnt out. The job duties that keep me going. Like that's the only thing that keeps me going. But as soon as I'm off the clock, I'm sad because I know I'm not going home.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
No, thanks for having me, man. I was just wondering, how do I best address my friends' harmful patterns without making them feel abandoned?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
So I've had this friend for a long time now. It's nearly been 20 years. And I care about them deeply. They're one of my closest friends, but unfortunately... They've had a lot going on through their life and every couple of years it's almost like clockwork.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
They fall into a deep depression and I'm always there for them, which I always will be, but it's getting to a point now where the self-harm and the destructive behaviors are just... The repetition, it's a lot to not see... them trying to help themselves in any way. And I don't know how to... Tell me about self-harm.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
So, self-harm in the sense of, like, with medications and with physical self-harm, like with blades and stuff, too.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I'd say yes with the medication. With the cutting, not so much because it's not in the right way, I guess you could say. I think the self-harm in the cutting is more of a trying to feel something different than their own mental health problems for a moment, which is really sad.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Since before I've known them, to be honest with you, and I've known them since we were teenagers.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
It's just gotten worse, like deeper and... Yeah, like deeper, I guess you could say. And my most recent experience with them, it was pretty bad. And unfortunately, my friend won't allow... It sounds so silly. I'm so sorry, Dr. John, but they won't allow me or my friends to call any actual emergency services or take them to a hospital because they don't believe that they'll actually get help there.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
They think that they're going to get thrown away like in a psych ward or something and it's just not how it works and we've tried to explain that to them and It's just getting to a point now where it's really, really hard to stop everything going on in my life to do this every time this happens.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
But there's that conflicting feeling of, of course, I'm going to stop what's going on in my life to help them. But yeah, it's just at a point now where I just feel so weird about it because my friend won't even accept the help when we're trying to give it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I'm an artist. You're an artist, okay. Yeah, I do tattoo work.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I think just because... Maybe because we've had that conversation before, but maybe I haven't been as direct as what you've just said. I've spoken to them about seeing someone or coming with me to see someone together and I can just sit in the room if they need me to or I'll sit outside of the room. But every single time it's, no, no, I'm not doing that. I don't want to.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
And that's where my frustration is lying, I think.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
My friend's a good person, too. Of course she is. They deserve to feel like they belong here. That's right. Yes. Yeah. I... I think that's where it hurts. Like, I don't even want to tell them that I've been sad and upset about this because I don't want to put extra pressure on them. But it's just, man, like, you know, we all love you and we all want you here.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
And I know that sometimes that's not enough for some people, but, like, they have so much support and so many people that care. Yeah. Like, yeah. I just hope, yeah, that... in the next conversation, they can actually, as you said, they might turn around and be like, I hate you. But yeah, you're right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I would rather them be disgruntled and upset with me for doing the right thing than just sitting there and yeah, letting them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Yeah, no, no, no. I actually really appreciate it because, you know, here I am in my head going, have I done this? Can I do that? Should I do this? And really like you've given me direction of what I can do next, but the permission, which like, I know really give myself permission, but reminding me to give myself permission to breathe and,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I really appreciate that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Like a month. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
I really appreciate speaking to you. Thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Thank you, Dr. John, and thank you for what you do. I really appreciate the time that you spend with all of us, so thank you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Long-time listener. I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller. I'm one of the original 17 from way back in the day.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Yeah. So I have a 17-year-old daughter. She's a senior in high school. She's bright. She's kind. She's beautiful. She's generous. She's very smart. And... She's romantic. She has all the feels. She kind of takes after her mother a little bit.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Uh-huh, uh-huh. And she's got a boyfriend.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
I know. He's a nice kid, but is not the most motivated. And they are not going to college together. He'll be a couple hours away, so driving distance. But I'm worried that their relationship is going to interfere with her college experience and that she's going to be fixated on him and kind of avoid school or other new relationships at school that are like right in front of her face.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
So how do I throw some cold water on this?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
That's not what I want to hear.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Yeah, it is hard. I think if you raise them right, you should get to keep them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
But instead they, they grow up and they launch and they be their own person.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
I married the first one. Oh, gross. I know. I don't want to wait. I know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Yeah, like freshman in college.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Oh, you met him as a freshman in college? We met, yeah, fall of freshman year and married within a year and a half. So, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Yeah, and just wanting, you know, and it's gone through her high school, you know, they started dating in the fall, and we've seen some change in relationships with her at school. We've seen her disengage from some of the activities that she once was really into, and so that's hard to hear and see.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
And one of her teachers said, you know, she doesn't recognize her anymore, that all of her energy has just gone into this boy. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
So what we've done is we've said, you know, we've got to take a step back. You know, you can see them one-on-one like twice a week. And if you want to see them anymore, you know, meet them at a basketball game, go out with friends, do those kind of things. And so we've tried to do that, but she's smarter than me and she's kind of sneaky and she can kind of,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
I don't want to have to catch and discipline every little thing. I want to... I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
She said, I'm trying. I'm trying to do the things that we want her to do to engage. Or I don't know. She just, She's come back and said that this school stuff that she's been interested in is now dumb, that she doesn't like the people, that she's lost those relationships.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
I think there's some of that about just pulling away. Yeah. I think she's kind of pulling back just as that senioritis and getting ready to change. Sure. That's a big time in life. It's tough.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Deciding who you're going to be outside of your parents and growing up and going to college.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
And so what does that look like? Like, how do you, do you restrict time together? Do you, I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Yeah. We've had that conversation and I think that it's just distant, right? Like I fear that she's one who's going to have to learn things by going through them. Like she doesn't seem to, and I just don't want her to fall flat on her face.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Now, is this helpful if my husband goes too?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Do it on his own? Yeah. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Technically, yeah. We were young. Yeah, you were. Yeah, I would, I just, I want to get her to a fully mature frontal lobe without, you know, like a felony, a pregnancy, an addiction. What are the other big ones? I don't know. Just those big things in life that follow you everywhere.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
I know. I know. And when I look at just all the things that, you know, God's divine intervention in, he's got his hand on her and she's got to walk through some things. I know, but I just,
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
Thank you for letting me join the team. I love working with you.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Okay, so with Christmas approaching, I'm not quite sure how to approach my mom with setting specific boundaries regarding family members coming to certain Christmas events.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
These specific family members, my husband and I are both in agreement. We do not want to be around them. They make us uncomfortable. They have physically abused one of my younger cousins. It's disgusting. It's heartbreaking. Sexual abuse? Yes. Yeah, when she was six, seven years old and...
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
What complicates it a little bit more is that my cousins who – my other cousin, they were children at the time as well. They were older children. They were 13, 14, 15. There was four of them. Oh, holy. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Same age as me, like 22, 23, early 20s. Were they prosecuted? I don't know what makes it even harder. I don't know any of the details. I just found out last year, right before Christmas, actually. And I've been dreading it all year, thinking about it. Because last year, I conveniently was out of town and didn't have to see them or see any of my other family.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
And my mom actually found out maybe two years before that. I wouldn't even know what the legal proceedings would be or look like. I don't know. So do you have kids? No, not right now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
I'm standing in a kitchen.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Yeah. And... it was hidden from everybody except the parents of the people that were involved. And I think the grandparents and it's the parents. It's hard because, um, I do work with children and, um, Both of my parents are teachers, and the parents of everybody that was involved are also teachers. So I know they're mandated reporters, and I know that those guidelines weren't followed.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
And I don't know why anybody's not doing anything, and I feel like it's all fallen into my lap. And it's also four or five years old, and it's like, what are the statues? I don't know if that all makes sense.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Well, she does live in a different state. So thank God she does not have to see them or be around them. But I, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Yeah, I do. I do. Yeah. Uh, All right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’ve Been Smoking Weed Since I Was 14 (Should I Quit?)
Oh, yeah. No, he was livid. I... My husband is not an angry man. I've never seen him angry. I've never seen him yell. I have never seen him this mad before. Like, I was shocked. Yeah. You know, I mean, I married a good man, though.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Thank you both so much.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Hi, good. Just got the kids here with me. Sorry about that.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Well, thank you for taking my question and great to meet you, Russell. Love your stuff. I can say that I've spent over 20 grand on different coaching programs and nothing has been as useful as what you've taught me. So thank you. You've changed my life. So I'm a dating coach for women and my I offer a one-on-one coaching program that hasn't been selling.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
And I learned a lot from you, from Myron Golden, and just trying to up my selling game. But now I'm running into the issue of not getting enough traffic. And so my goal right now is to work on a better offer that's lower ticket that people can enter into.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
And one of the things that I've found from funnel hacking other coaches is they're teaching women how to upgrade their online dating profiles and things like that. Ich lerne über ihren Attraktionsstil. Das mache ich auch. Aber das Problem ist, dass mein Publikum das nicht will. Sie wollen nicht lernen, wie man Dating Profile richtig benutzt. Sie glauben nicht, dass es möglich ist.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Sie glauben nicht, dass es Qualitätsmänner gibt. Und meine Frage ist, was ich den Leuten verkaufe, die nicht wollen, was ich verkaufe.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
So what I really want to sell is really just how to upgrade women's online, like not online dating, upgrade women's dating in general for women who want marriage. So I am a developmental psychologist by training and I studied identity development in grad school and so I'm all about becoming and how to become the person you need to be. I went through divorce myself and
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Das hat mich erkannt, dass ich das, was ich in der Psychologie lerne, an mich selbst anbieten kann. Und das ist, wie ich mein eigenes Dating verbessern konnte, indem ich wurde, wie ich es wollte. Und ich habe bessere Männer getraut, sowohl in Person als auch online.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Und das ist es, was ich helfen möchte, um Frauen zu verstehen, dass die Macht in dir ist, um zu verändern, wen du vertraust und was du ausmachst. Und ich bin offen zu verschiedenen Ideen für eine Offerung. Ich bin einfach noch nicht sicher. Was Frauen mir sagen wollen, ist, dass sie lernen, bessere Männer zu treffen. Und ich sage, ja, du kannst lernen, bessere Männer zu treffen.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Das ist ein Traber. Es gibt keine besseren Männer online, aber sie wollen das auch nicht tun. Also sollte ich mich einfach auf die Menschen in Person konzentrieren?
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Okay, that's insane. So that is your thing. Because it's like...
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
So I plan to do the weekly Perfect Webinar to bring people in and then offer them this four-hour workshop. Number one, is that four hours too long? And number two, what then should I be teaching them in that workshop?
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
I have. Yeah, beautiful.
The Russell Brunson Show
From Stuck to Scaling: Transformative Advice for Entrepreneurs
Not formally, but I was running Facebook Ads with another coach several months ago. And through those ads, I got one-on-one coaching calls. I would offer them a free blueprint call. And through that, I got a really good sense of what my audience is looking for. Awesome.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Tell anyone who hasn't seen Too Hot to Handle kind of the premise of the show.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Thank you to Nutrafol for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. My mane is growing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You may know my goal was to grow my hair to my butt and I, let me just- It's getting close.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by one and a half million people. It's You can see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol. I take Nutrafol daily and I feel like my hair is loving me for it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Thinning hair is different for men and women. So one size fits all approach to hair growth just doesn't cut it. Nutrafol has multiple formulas for men and women that are tailored to different life stages and lifestyle factors. So you can get one just what you need. They have everything from postpartum to a woman's daily. They have you covered.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
And building a hair growth routine is simple with Nutrafol. You just purchase it online. There's no prescription required. And they have automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track so you never miss a dosage. So start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Is that a British thing? I've never heard of it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
For a limited time, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutraful.com and enter the promo code UNPLANNEDPOD. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutraful for healthier hair. Nutraful.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code UNPLANNEDPOD. That's Nutraful.com promo code UNPLANNEDPOD.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Okay, well, you're a fridge.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Our fridge looks like the entire pot from dinner that Matt is like cleaning up from and just puts the lid back on.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
It's like when the wife packs leftovers away when the husband packs.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Which I get. I'm like, okay, less dirty dishes, but also it's so unappetizing to like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
They said our friends love food so much they got an American fridge. But there was no space in their kitchen for it. They had to put it in the living room.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
But like American fridges are.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Yeah, just jump in the fridge.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I should. It gets so hot in Arizona. Take out the bowl of soup or the pot of soup that I put in there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
It's cleanest.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Oh, I love that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
We think it's a show.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Enforcers. Oh, the traffic enforcers. No, the litter enforcers. Oh, wait.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That is just in that context. You've never heard that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Wait, I don't even know if on, like would YouTube let you say that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Even when I was ordering... But also, that's probably where it came from, huh? If it's... Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
No, but sausage... I don't... Maybe, maybe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Kids say hell would be so like... Oh yeah, I wouldn't say hell as a kid.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Really?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I can't believe they actually made you do that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You're laboring with other women here? Yeah, you're just in one big room.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
So you said, okay, going back to finding out you're pregnant with Reggie. You said you didn't handle it very well.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
We got so sidetracked. I'm so sidetracked.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That's the nature of this.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I think I'm honestly Liquid IV's number one fan.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I have liquid IV daily. We love it. Our kids love it. And here's what's great about it. It's true to fruit flavors that keep you hydrated. Let's be honest, water gets boring. And adding a packet of liquid IV to 16 ounces of water is refreshing to the max. It tastes delicious. It just gets you rehydrated and ready to tackle the rest of your day.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
They have a range of delicious flavors, everything from acai berry to lemon lime to pina colada. I personally always grab their sugar-free flavors. I love the raspberry lemonade one. The rainbow sherbet one's really good. White peach, the grape, they're so, so delicious. So break the mold and your own ritual. Just one stick plus 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Stock up on Liquid IV this summer. Get ready for summer with Extraordinary Hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code unplanned at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code unplanned at liquidiv.com. It came as a shock.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Like, not perfectly.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You got married so young, though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
No, she didn't call them pants. She said trousers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Tennis shoes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
No, I literally just heard a podcast the other day. Like, I was shocked when I found out blue balls was a myth.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
We call it a potato wedge.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Also, I sit on them or my kids break them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Or I just leave them at the pool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
They have my favorite sunglasses, truthfully. I wear them every single day. I just keep them in the center console of my car so I can take them with me wherever I go. The sun's always beaming down in Arizona, so you need one on deck at all times. But the great thing about Gooder is that they're lightweight and they're comfortable.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
My friend even runs in her Gooder sunglasses, which says a lot because... they gotta be comfortable and they have to be able to stay on your head. And that's exactly what Gooder does. They have a range of really cool styles too, from vibrant colors to sleek styles. There's a pair of Gooders for every personality.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
And because they're so affordable, like we said, you don't have to worry about losing or breaking them. You can get a pair for every single occasion. We just stocked up on some new pairs for the summer and I'm really excited for them. If you need a new pair of sunnies, Gooder is giving Unplanned listeners free shipping.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You can go to gooder.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned for free shipping. Goodr offers a 30-day money-back guarantee and 100% satisfaction. Again, that's goodr.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned for free shipping. I don't know what I call things anymore. I'm literally like, what do I say?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
They don't acknowledge us as a couple. So they'll be like, is that all? And I'm like, but he hasn't ordered yet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You think it's an efficiency thing?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Sometimes I think they think that we're paying separate.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I want to talk a little bit about Reggie's birth experience. I know that that didn't quite go as planned for you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
Gas and air. It's like laughing gas. Yeah, it's laughing gas. They don't offer that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I didn't believe you until you said that long medical term. I was like, you know what? Maybe he does notice time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That's what's so wild to me. Yeah, he wasn't allowed to stay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That is really wild. So you kind of, that was like your motivation for signing up for the show?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
He was screaming the entire time he was in the room with us.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You wasn't ten other babies. I can't even imagine. I was already losing it. Like, I was literally already so far gone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
And we just labored for 36 hours. I know, I know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
did they give you staples no they put staples all across staples staples and i was about to leave like frankenstein style which is like like you put on paper like yeah yeah stitching and staples it was literally a stapled you back together yes have you got holes like marks no no nothing and to tell you the truth as i was leaving the hospital they're like oh you still have your staples in i was like yeah are they supposed to come out right now they're like yeah
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
They don't give you anything. They just pluck them out with tweezers. And the staple gun is literally a staple gun. No. But they just do medical grade like clean staples. Yeah. I don't know what I'd prefer. Stitching or staples.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
i'm baffled by that honestly it's not common it's not common i don't know why my doctor chose to do that sentence you still got your staples and it's quite a weird sentence i had nine staples in me they didn't give me any pain relief to just pull them out but honestly it didn't hurt that bad no i mean once you've gone through a c-section you're like you know what is what's another like thing yeah
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
But I totally remember that feeling. I was like, they're going to send me, but I don't even know when to feed it. And I felt that way with solids too. I was like, what do I give him? What can he have?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
We had, like, an app we used with Griffin, like, Solid Starts.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
And so, like, it helped us, like, know what sizes of food were, like, safe and, like, what things we could introduce first and what things were, like, high risk for allergens. Yeah. But then with Augie, I feel like we were... We trust ourselves a lot more.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
My friend had to... A lot of people that are nursing, if their baby's having, like, stomach problems, they encourage... The first thing they do is encourage their mom to stop having dairy. Yeah, I think I tried that. And it just wasn't...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I think it'd be fun to talk about baby number two. We were already kind of tapping into that. When's it happening? Well, we... Not to push because I know that your baby's not even one yet, but it got brought up naturally before we started recording.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That's wild. And what was your motivation going into like the show? I'm curious.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
I found you want to know me again. So it's a win-win. Thank you to Revolve for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
What are you guys shopping for this season? Because Revolve has over 1,200 brands and 100,000 styles across high-end, emerging, and exclusive labels in fashion, beauty, and home goods. Like Matt was saying, I love shopping Revolve's clothes because they consistently offer the latest and most sought after trends and fashion with new arrivals daily.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
And I got my whole outfit for the Usher concert from Revolve because I was like, what the heck do I wear to a concert? I haven't been to one in years. I'm glad Revolve had things formulated for me. They just made it so easy because I had no idea. I had these heeled leather thigh high boots, a leather mini skirt, and a little tight black top. And Matt was pretty into it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
But you can also get very easy daily wear things. Like I got the Ziggy shortalls from Free People that I can wear every day this summer. I also got On Cloud Nova white tennies that go with everything and you want to wear every single day. They have inclusive sizing also from extra, extra small to 4X. Revolve has something for everyone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
From last minute getaways to party dressing and seasonal upgrades, Revolve has you covered with fast two-day shipping and easy returns all on them. And for a limited time, you can shop a curated selection of my favorite styles at revolve.com slash unplanned and receive 15% off your first order with code unplanned.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That's revolve.com slash unplanned to shop my top picks and get 15% off your first order with code unplanned. Offer ends May 12th, so don't miss out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
That is really wild.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Emily Miller & Cam Holmes on life after Too Hot to Handle, getting married, and UK vs. USA
You're so gorgeous pregnant. I was literally like looking through your Instagram. I was like,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And with Dan, it was so interesting. I listened to an interview that he did. And it was so interesting hearing his perspective.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
on the fling that you guys had yeah because from his perspective you know as as someone that like fully looks like in a most adult you know adult males yeah people were coming at him and saying you're a pedophile you're a groomer um he was getting a ton of hate his family was getting a ton of hate um all from you know the the fling that you guys had and it was very publicized on the show did you expect that to happen oh yeah oh you knew it was gonna happen
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And did TLC have a conversation with Dan about, hey, by the way, dude, you probably will get people on the Internet calling you a groomer and a pedophile.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Oh, they did? Yeah. So he went to therapy after everything that happened?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What was that conversation between you and Dan about...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Really?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Have you had illegitimate, you know, scary situation with a pedophile before? Yeah. What happened?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah. He followed you into the women's restroom?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How old were you?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
This is when you were 10?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Did the guy that followed you into the bathroom say anything? Did he approach you? What happened?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And this is when you were a 10-year-old, so you had a 10-year-old brain.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
But yeah, this is your uncle's bar though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Did this guy ever touch you, the person that followed you into the bathroom when you were 10?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
This is the same guy or a different guy? Same guy. How was he allowed back in the bar?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Gosh, I feel like if I were your uncle, I'd have his face plastered on the front of the restaurant and be like, if this dude comes in, he's getting kicked out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Oh, okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And do you think this guy, this individual that followed you into the bathroom, do you think he knew that? Do you think he was aware that your uncle wasn't at the bar?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Thank you to Acorns Early for sponsoring this episode of our show. I'm sure we've all heard of Acorns. It is an investment app that helps you invest your spare change into ETFs, mutual funds, or individual stocks. But now they have something called Acorns Early where you can start teaching your kids about money at a young age through their smart money app.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I wish something like this existed when I was a kid because I didn't start learning about money and investing and the time value of money until I was like really young. into my 20s, and I think the younger you can teach your kids, the better. Acorns Early is a smart money app and debit card for kids that helps them learn the value of money.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Acorns Early Chores Tracker teaches kids that hard work pays off. How cool is that? They have a tracker app for chores. Acorns Early lets parents pay allowances automatically. Kids can spend what they earn with their very own debit card. Plus, parents can keep track of where and when their kids are spending. Ready to help your kids learn the value of money?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Just head to acornsearly.com slash unplanned or download the Acorns Early app to get started. Sign up now and your first month is on us. T&Cs apply. Monthly subscriptions fee starts from $5 per month unless canceled.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
no i'm not i'm like this is why i'm bright that's why it's why you're getting a weird feeling from me like i'm not a normal child because i'm not a child i'm an adult yeah that must be so tricky to navigate too because it's like most people right they see someone who looks looks younger right and they have certain stereotypes certain ideas in their head and so they're not trying to be
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
get back here and she's like give me my drink you can't have this i'm like i'm gonna take it again that's so real though like we've uh we're always so careful with alcohol because our kids will just touch anything because like for example we've my uh my mother-in-law um live with lives with us and she drinks diet coke and there was one time where she left her diet coke like too like sitting out too low
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
and you turn your back for five seconds and you look and there's our two-year-old chugging a diet coke i'm like whoa whoa and like go and grab it um so you just have to be very careful with kids and they grab and chug because they know they're not supposed to have it so they're like let me get as much as i can as possible like it's just like when your kid sneaks out after you go to bed and goes to the fridge and like loads up but when you were 21 though was that were you like really looking forward to that because as
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How do you feel about not being able to have kids?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
sometimes okay sometimes i don't know what it is like i don't like most alcohol i don't really like beer but bourbon just like the flavor of it is so maybe it's like the smokiness yeah i was like it's the richness yeah it's got to be the right bourbon and you kind of feel maybe it's just the all the alcohol commercials that are somehow allowed to be advertised on our on tv with the fancy glasses
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Like, do you realize, like, as kids, we're all getting exposed to these alcohol commercials to where in our brain, it's like drinking alcohol is cool, drinking alcohol is cool. And so you turn 21 and you're like, yeah, I want to have a bourbon.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So maybe it's that maybe like when I have a bourbon every now and then, maybe I feel cool because as a five year old, I was seeing alcohol commercials on TV.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
In Europe, that was a thing?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Maybe it's more of a celebration there. Like, I know in the Renaissance, you have all these sculptures of naked... I mean, look at, like, the Statue of David, right? That's in Italy, right? I mean, maybe there they celebrate the body more, so it's less taboo.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
rude but then from your circumstance right like you want to be treated as an adult woman because that's what you that's what you are yeah you're 25 years old you have a boyfriend you you want the same things that any other 25 year old woman would want yeah so how do you navigate that because that must be so tricky i don't i don't know what i would do i i really correct people yeah
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah, I'm sure as somebody that has a disability that's grown up being looked at differently, you probably empathize a lot with people in the LGBTQ community. Yeah, gay people that have experienced different treatment or people of a different minority that have been treated different because you've experienced that same thing. I'm sure you relate to them a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Talk to me a bit about different medications you took growing up. I know I read somewhere that you took hormone blockers because you were... I'll be honest, I don't fully understand why you took hormone blockers. So could you educate me as someone... Yeah, okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How do you feel about not being able to have kids?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So they were thinking that for the show it would be interesting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Oh, so it's $10,000.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Thank you to Beam for sponsoring this episode of Unplanned. If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably seen my stories about not getting sleep. Like there's been nights where my watch has told me I've only slept like two hours. There was one night actually a couple weeks ago where... I slept so poorly, I didn't even get any sleep data. And that's why I've been taking Beam for my sleep.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And this stuff has been game-changing. It helps me fall asleep. It helps you stay asleep. And the nice thing is it has a special formula so you don't wake up groggy the next day. Because that's like one of the big complaints about these sleep aids is you wake up the next day where you can't really wake up. Dream contains a powerful all-natural blend of reishi, magnesium, L-theanine,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
apigenin, and melatonin. I don't know how to pronounce those words, but I know melatonin. That's one of my friends. I use that one a lot. To help you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up refreshed. Now, whenever I try to sleep, I just think about hot cocoa because this stuff tastes so good. That's the other thing. Not only does it help you fall asleep and stay asleep, it tastes amazing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So thank you for helping me, Beam. I appreciate you. Beam is the ultimate sleep refresh for the new year. Try Beam's best-selling dream powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned at checkout. That's shopbeam.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned for up to 40% off.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And you're saying because that would kill you? It could hurt me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
As someone with a smaller body due to the disability that you have, you probably have to be very careful if you're sexually active to make sure that you're protected, right? Because like you just said, if you were to get pregnant, it could kill you. How do you protect yourself? How do you make sure that you don't end up in a situation where...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah, I guess you... I mean, you could literally die, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Today on Unplanned, we sat down with the 25-year-old star of the TLC show, I Am Shauna Rae. At just 3 feet and 10 inches tall, Shauna's life has been shaped by her battle with pediatric cancer, which left her with a rare condition called pituitary dwarfism. The condition significantly stunted her growth as a child, and now, as a woman, she faces discrimination.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I want to be super careful with how I ask this question because I respect you so much. Just ask it. I'm so impressed by you just with everything you've faced and how you've come out on top and how you've been confident. I think you're a voice for people that are minorities. You're a voice for people that have disabilities.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
It's really cool to see you do what you've been doing and being on the show on TLC. I guess the question I want to ask is, How do you approach this whole dilemma of you're clearly a very smart, very intelligent adult woman. You're 25 years old. So you have the intellect of an adult woman. You have like everything about you is an adult woman, but physically you're on the younger side.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah. Yes. Wait a second. Okay. So do kids treat you in a way that you like to be treated more so than adults do?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So then how do you approach that from a dating standpoint? Because it obviously would make sense with your parents being worried about you. Being in a relationship with someone that could be into younger-looking people, how do you navigate that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Do you like being friends with people that are disabled because you can understand each other?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I literally don't care about football.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I think I thought of a better way to ask the question I asked earlier, which I was stumbling over my words.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Let me ask it this way. As someone that appears to look like a young girl, how do you navigate romantic relationships?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How often do people respond in a way that you appreciate whenever someone assumes incorrectly that you're a young girl and then you say, no, I'm a 25-year-old woman? What's the response that you have appreciated when you say that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Thank you to Adore Me for sponsoring this episode of the Unplanned Podcast. This might be TMI, but when my wife wears lingerie, it is the absolute best. And the other day, she let me pick out a new set and it comes in the mail in the next couple of days. And I'm... I'm pretty excited. I'm honestly stoked.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Adore Me offers lingerie in over 67 different sizes so you can ensure you find the right size for your unique body. And they drop a new seasonal collection each month. So there's always new styles. The nice thing that we like about Adore Me is sometimes lingerie can be like $100, $150. It just gets crazy expensive. But with Adore Me, you can actually get a lingerie set for as low as like $19.95.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And because they have so many different inclusive sizes with Adore Me, it just will fit your body. And my wife's able to find stuff that look, she looks incredible. It's actually the best. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to stop talking before I say something that I'm going to regret. Okay. Head to adoreme.com where new customers can get bra and panty sets for as low as $19.95.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Exude confidence and sexiness without spending a fortune. Again, that's adoreme.com where new customers can get bra and panty sets for as low as $19.95. Wow, that is a deal. It must be really frustrating to have to explain yourself like every single day of your life to everyone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Is it ever easier just to stay home?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Do you find yourself wanting to stay home or do you go out because you want to make a difference?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Ah, so you probably like DoorDash your groceries.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And I saw on your show you're living alone now. Are you still living alone?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Oh, okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How has that been? I mean, away from your parents. You're no longer living with your parents. How does that feel to be independent of your parents?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
You guys seem to have a really sweet relationship.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Do you think that the TV shows made your life better?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How is living together? How is, yeah, now you're living with your boyfriend. Do you like that more? Did you like life before you guys were living together? How is all that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Is he older than you?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Gotcha. Yeah, obviously like you're keeping a lot of information about him private, which I totally respect and I can totally understand from how crazy it can be when you share all the intimate details of your life with the world. We've been there, but I know that you have experienced that on a completely different level than we have.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So I guess like what have you shared about him or what are you able to share about him? Because I'm genuinely curious who this person is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
You didn't get the invite. So in past relationships, you never got the invite to family Christmas, family Thanksgiving. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What's been the toughest part about living together?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How did you know that Trent, right? You said Trent. How did you know that Trent was a good guy? How did you know that he was safe and trustworthy and someone that you were comfortable spending lots of time with? Because, yeah, you guys are dating. So how did how did you know that? Well.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Do you have any strict boundaries for dating? Any rules given your disability? Is there something like a rule that you've set for yourself that's unique?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
So I noticed you said the word munchkin, and I don't know if that's like, I've heard from the show before, or is that a word you're supposed to say?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What's an example of a strike?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I am so sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
If you don't mind me asking, what happened? How did this happen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And were you ever punched? Yeah. You were punched? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Did your parents know that this was going on?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
After you broke up with him?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Were you a teenager? Were you early in your 20s?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What did he threaten you? What did he say?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
We dive into her struggles with predators, infertility, keeping her boyfriend's identity private, and how she escaped an abusive relationship, all on today's episode. Shauna Rae, welcome to the Unplanned Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I love how your Instagram bio is, I listened when my mama told me not to grow up. Whose idea was that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What did you say when he started sending you those threats?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
He chewed loudly, or, like, I didn't like the way he smacked his lips when he chewed bubble gum. Like, you're talking about cheating, physical violence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Like, those are really, really... Like, of course that's a one strike. Yeah. Like, those are really bad. Yeah, those are one strikes. I, like, I think you kind of just shocked me there. I guess what I'm... I love how you're an advocate for people who have disabilities, for minorities. I love that. And so I guess my ask right now is, What's the warning sign?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Like, what should people do if in the relationship someone starts to be verbally abusive? What do you wish you would have done in that situation?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I love how you said if they cut you off from your friends and family, that's a red flag.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Being in a horrible relationship like that, the statistics are horrible. I know people get stuck in these relationships and they don't leave and they don't think there's a way out. They blame themselves.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
yeah and and i think like i'm thankfully i've never been in like this situation like yours like that's i mean we abby and i have been like so lucky just to have dated each other oh my gosh i just like i hear these horror stories of dating and i'm like this is like really really scary i guess like something something that um people in those situations need to be aware of i think is
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
there's hope for you like it i feel like you so i can just see how someone in that situation could think oh there's nothing i can do i can't get out i i like it's gonna work they're gonna get better all this and i think instead they need to realize you know what i can build a better life after this and it seems really scary and it would probably be really really scary to leave but i think you
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
What does he do that makes you so happy?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Brings you food?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Does he know your order?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Is that one of your strikes? My dog doesn't like you, you're done.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
That's good.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Where can people follow you, like stay up to date with you? Because I know you're very active on social media. Is there a certain platform that you like to connect with people on the most?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Okay. Awesome. So, so cool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Well, thank you for taking the time to come talk to us.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah. Directing at somebody.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
I think there's a lot of people out there that want to be as respectful as possible, and they never want to say something that could offend someone or hurt someone in any way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah, and so human, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Thank you to Liquid IV for sponsoring this episode of the Unplanned Podcast. I just recently started running, and the whole runner's high thing totally makes sense now. After running, I always feel so good about myself, and I like to stay hydrated when I do run because, I don't know if you guys knew this, but if you do a marathon, you're not supposed to just drink water.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
You're supposed to also have... something with some electrolytes in it, like Liquid IV. This right here is the raspberry lemonade flavor, but my favorite Liquid IV flavor has to be the cotton candy. It tastes literally just like cotton candy. Break the mold in your own ritual. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
And you can choose from Liquid IV's flavors that are sugar-free, like raspberry lemonade, white peach, and rainbow sherbet. I honestly have not tried a flavor that Wasn't good. Every single one has been amazing. I just, I'm biased to the cotton candy. That one is absolutely incredible. Embrace your ritual with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to liquidiv.com and use code unplanned at checkout. That's 20% off your first order when you shop better hydration today using promo code unplanned at liquidiv.com.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
How do you approach that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Shauna Rae on Infertility, Leaving an Abusive Relationship & Hiding My Boyfriend from the Public
Yeah, crotchety. Okay, you don't want to be crotchety.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Prime Video bringt spannende Unterhaltung. Erlebe Starkoch Andreas Caminada und seine Freunde in Dinner Club, enthalten in Prime.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Erlebe die neue Crime-Serie Mobland mit Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan und Helen Mirren. Jetzt nur auf Paramount+.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich habe das so gefühlt, bis jetzt. Postpartum ist wahrscheinlich eine andere Geschichte, aber während meiner Pregnanz habe ich mich ziemlich frei gemacht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Hast du das, Addy? Ein bisschen, aber auch nicht wirklich viel. Ich bin so gespannt, dass sie alle treffen wird. Und dass sie alle treffen wird. Ich bin noch nicht in dem anstrengenden Bereich, dass die Leute um sie herum sind. Aber ich denke, wenn ich die Erwartungen habe, um das vorher klar zu machen. Zum Beispiel, meine Familie, die kommen wird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Meine Mutter wird hier sein, wenn ich das Baby habe. Mein Vater wird wahrscheinlich auch hier sein. Die Leute werden wahrscheinlich fliegen und sich verabschieden. Wir leben in einem 2-Bett-Apartment. Wir haben ein Bett, in dem die Leute bleiben wollen. Aber das ist eine Boundary, die ich ihnen gesagt habe. Hey, ich will, dass unser Zuhause nur wir sind, während dieser Zeit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Und wenn ihr könnt, könnt ihr einen separaten Raum bleiben. Ich weiß, dass ihr normalerweise mit uns bleibt, aber während dieser Zeit will ich wirklich, dass es nur wir sind und unsere körperliche Familie. Und sie haben super respektvoll darüber gesprochen. Und das ist die einzige Boundary, die ich bis jetzt gesetzt habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Und ich denke, das Beste, was wir tun können, ist, das vorher zu kommunizieren. Wenn wir wissen, wie wir diese Grenzen haben wollen, damit die Leute anfangen, darüber nachzudenken. Aber ich bin sicher, dass sich die Dinge ändern, wenn wir sie haben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ja, es ist schwer zu wissen, genau wie ich mich fühle.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich weiß nicht. Ich denke, das ist wahr. Mit CJ waren wir nicht so nah, als du CJ hattest, weil ich noch nicht hier gelebt habe. Ich erinnere mich an das, weil wir alle bei Abby's Haus waren. Ich sah CJ und dachte, er ist so süß. Du kannst ihn halten. Ich dachte, das ist großartig. Danke.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
It's okay if not. That's a totally fine. Gimme, gimme, gimme. That's a little.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich dachte gerade, dass ich mit meiner nächsten Frage länger warten könnte.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Because with this one I was like, I have to tell everyone right now. And I feel like I might be able to wait longer. I don't know why. Why? I don't know. Just because I already have a baby and it was maybe the first time I was pregnant and I just wanted to tell people. I'm like, I feel like we could enjoy it more because it's like adding a second one to the family. I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
No, I think there's definitely a pressure to wait because most people do wait. And so I feel like I'm wrong if I'm sharing the day I found out I'm pregnant. Because most people... Because it's kind of taboo to tell people you're pregnant right away. But yes, sharing on social media I feel like is a totally different story. But I'm just someone who likes to share those things. I'm very open. So...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich habe ein paar Freunde am Tag erzählt, Familie am nächsten Tag, Freunde am nächsten großen Event, den ich alle gesehen habe. Also habe ich nicht geplant, oh, sechs Wochen ist, zwölf Wochen ist, wann wir erzählen werden. Es war einfach das nächste Mal, als ich Leute gesehen habe, habe ich Menschen erzählt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich glaube, ich könnte das nächste Mal machen. Aber das ist das Schwierigste, wenn man nicht beide Familien hier in Person hat. Wenn ich einen erzähle, muss ich den anderen erzählen. Ich kann nicht warten, den anderen zu erzählen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich denke, das ist eine gute Runde. Ich denke, wir haben es auch so gedacht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Is there a world where, let's say it was like four months later, we're in the same situation, we're all at Disney together, you find out you're pregnant. Is there a world you tell us there? If I were to go back in time?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
No, I think... If there was a bigger gap and it wasn't so unexpected and you found out you were pregnant with everyone else in the same house as you, you have five days to spend with everyone, you would have told everyone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I love the things on YouTube. Oh Gott.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Addy, ich glaube, du solltest anfangen, weil du... Ich habe die letzte Zeit eine Familie. Ja, wie konntest du das wissen? Und du warst 23. Ich war 23, als ich verheiratet wurde. Und mein Mann war auch 23. Das ist eine gute Frage. Ich glaube, es ist manchmal schwer zu wissen, wann du bereit bist. Aber es ist auch so, dass es passiert. Für mich speziell.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
after the fact that you already did or to make sure that you don't? That's a good question.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Does that mean towards your kid or just the fact that your mom and the emotions of it? I wasn't thinking about towards your kid. Or towards your husband? Is it kind of like pregnancy rage?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Egal worauf du stehst, das alles gibt's hier. Prime Video. Klicke oder tippe auf das Banner, um mehr zu erfahren.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Obwohl ich versuche, zu entscheiden, wann das beste für unsere Familie ist. Aber... Ich habe angefangen, mich traurig zu machen, wenn ich meinen Zeitpunkt bekomme. Das war so eine random Sache, dass ich immer so war, oh gut, wir haben noch einen Monat gemacht, ich bin nicht krank.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
No, I think that's also really good for someone who is at home a lot and is with their kids.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
all the time too and like balancing those expectations for yourself when part of what you do is doing the laundry and stuff like that but giving yourself a break from that even yeah is good thank you to cash app for sponsoring this portion of today's episode abby when you pay people back with cash app do you pay them like with the exact sense or do you like to just like round up
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Und dann war ich so, obwohl wir intensiv nicht versuchen, krank zu werden, und wir haben natürliche Zyklen benutzt, wie sehr wirksam, war ich immer noch traurig, dass ich meinen Zeitpunkt bekomme. Und so fühle ich mich, dass das mein Teil war, um zu sagen, okay, meine Emotionen verändern sich um die Seite davon.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Und so auf der Seite, da war ich so, ah, vielleicht bin ich wirklich bereit, weil ich immer wollte, Mom zu sein. I always in my mind also envisioned me getting, like having a kid before I was 25. And it worked out for us that way. That was for me. And Blake, it took a little bit longer to like get him around to the idea. And I'm not sure. He was, I mean, same with like getting married.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich habe nichts bemerkt. Hattie hatte keine Unterschiede. Ich hatte keine Unterschiede. Wow. Wow, gut. Nicht wie hormonale oder Dinge, die ich sogar erkennen konnte.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich fühle die Ovulation.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Was ist die andere Phase?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Oh. I will say, that's the one thing I do notice. Like the bloating situation during the different stages.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
What's the other one? Ludial ovulation.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I think there are four phases. There's another one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I meant to bring that today.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Yes, of like, I can't work during this phase. No. I don't feel like I can do this. You can't use it as an excuse. You can't use it as an excuse. Because if I know anything about a woman, it's that they are capable and adaptable.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
He took a little bit longer than me to like get there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Maybe that's why we have these hot takes that we don't agree with the other people because we just actually don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
We are the ignorant ones.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Es ist ludial.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Du hast es gestern gesagt. Das macht Sinn. Genau. Ich habe es so viel gefühlt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Er hat die App. Yeah, that's fair. You can't be mean to me just because I'm pregnant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Rappen, ich werde es versuchen. Okay, na gut.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich brauchte jemanden, mit dem ich es durchgehen kann. Und ich fühle mich, als hätte ich jemanden, mit dem ich darüber sprechen kann. Und es gibt so viele verheiratete Frauen. Warum ist es wichtig?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
And I'm like, as soon as I'm like back, I'm like six weeks postpartum, you're gonna have your baby and then I can help out there. So it's like, it'll be great.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Das ist der Grund, warum ich euch alle so lieb habe, weil ihr euch an ihn zurückzieht. Ich nicht. Ich bin so, ich weiß nicht. Ist das ein Fakt? Wahrscheinlich. Du bist so, er ist richtig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich liebe Leute und arbeiten mit Leuten und helfen Leuten. HR.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
A teacher? Oh, actually no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
My gut instinct is I would go to Abigail. Oh, I was going to say this. Okay, here's the thing. Sorry, Maddie. I did not want any of you to point to me. I would have been concerned. You're very wise. I would have been concerned. I go to you if I'm like, I have these questions about certain things. Things that just come up in my life and I'm like, so Abby, I did this today.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
You're like, so why are you trying to do that to him? Why are you testing Blake right now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I feel like at this point, any of my wisdom is just wisdom you guys have told me and that I just relay it back to you guys. I really just heard it from other wives.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Oh no, Abby told me I shouldn't do that anymore. Also,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
No. We're no homeschooling public and going to public school right now is what we talked about. But we also haven't looked into it. That's just like been our viewpoint forever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
We haven't looked at what the schools look like in our area and those types of things. But that's something that we've been kind of have always thought.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I'm like, I think like preschool and stuff like that. That feels cash. Sure, maybe. It feels cash. But like once I start getting to like elementary, middle, high, I'm like.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Yeah, I feel like when you're in a situation like Wir sind beide hier, wir haben eine Teil unserer Familie hier und dann die anderen. Also meine Nachbarn sind hier, aber meine Familie ist zurück in Missouri. Und also versuchen, herauszufinden, was fair ist, ist schwer, besonders während der Weihnachten, weil We spend all year with Blake's family.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
And then so staying here for holidays too and not going back home to see our family is kind of hard to be like, well, we didn't spend Christmas with them last year, so we're going to stay here, but they got to see us all year anyway. So kind of trying to navigate that. But my parents have been...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
so so so gracious and like the best in this situation of like wanting to be involved but knowing it's hard for us and really not putting a lot of pressure on us even though i know they want us there very badly and so i this last year i was like mom since you don't live here and we would have to travel to you which is more important to you thanksgiving or christmas we'll be there for christmas if you want us there we'll be there for thanksgiving if you want us there
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Der Weihnachtsabend für sie war wichtiger. Weihnachten können wir um die Uhr machen, wenn die Tage arbeiten oder so. Und wir waren so, wir werden sehr intensiv daran sein, da für den Weihnachtsabend zu sein. Wir haben eine ganze Woche da draußen verbracht. Wir haben nicht den Weihnachtsabend mit euch verbracht. Ich glaube, wir hatten sogar eine kleine Sache, bevor wir losgingen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Well, I think that's something to like... That's really bad advice and actually a terrible idea. I was kidding. I guess for all three of us specifically, and I feel like a lot of people when they are trying to plan when they want to start their family, they feel like they have to be at this certain career standpoint. They have to have a house. They have to do these things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Und ich habe meine Mutter dieses Jahr wieder gefragt, ob das immer noch wichtig ist für dich, den Weihnachtsabend mit allen zu sein. Und sie hat gesagt, das ist es, was wir möchten. Und ich habe gesagt, okay, wir werden auch ein neues Baby haben. Sie wird drei Monate alt sein. Ich bin nicht sicher, ob wir sich an der Reise fühlen werden. Und sie hat uns überhaupt keine Druck gegeben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Auch wenn ich weiß, dass sie uns dort wollen. Und also, Glückwunsch an meine Mutter. Und mein Vater geht einfach mit allem zusammen. Und er weiß, dass er es will. Er sagt immer so subtil. Er sagt, oh, es gibt diesen Flug heute. Okay, I know you want us there. Okay, Daddy, buy it. He's so sweet of not putting pressure, but I can tell he wants us home.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
A unique situation with all of us is you guys have joint family events. We have joint family events. So if you're going to go back to Quincy for something, do we also need to go? If she's going to go home for Christmas, do you guys need to go home for Christmas? I also feel like that's a fact. And so we kind of have to all have that conversation too. Don't make me the bad guy. But here's the thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Guess what? This year you went back and they had Christmas in St. Louis. We didn't. We said we weren't going to travel and we didn't end up traveling. And so kind of like sticking to our word on that a little bit is also important so that people know that that's like what you're going to do. But we also could have traveled. But the finance is part of it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
All three of us did not own a house when we got pregnant. Mm-mm. Ihr hattet beide ein Haus, jetzt haben wir es noch nicht. Oder ihr hattet bestimmte finanzielle Punkte. Ihr hattet nicht unbedingt... Wir hatten nichts für das Haus. Wir hatten nichts für das Haus.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
It'll be weird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
But really, go subscribe to her. Go subscribe. That's my push.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ja, das ist ein guter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Anstatt an die Logistik zu beginnen, was wir tun müssen, ist es so, wann wollen wir fertig sein? Und dann zurückgehen. Ja. Für die Jungs vielleicht, um ihr Gehirn wiederzuarbeiten. Ja. Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
My belly's really hairy. When you're trying to record your belly kicking and stuff. That's a lot of peach bars.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
I would say on my end, like really just trying to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law and spend time individually with her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
could be helpful in that area because i feel like your family is really close like you and your mom are really close blake and your mom are very close i never had any like issues in that aspect but i also like me and your mom would go to brunch or like we would do things on our own to where i also feel like she's now also just like a bonus mom in my life and she might also feel like i mean she does that she feels like you're one of her daughters too and so i feel like
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich glaube, once you get married, you're kind of like your family. That pulls into another question I saw that someone's mother-in-law says they're not part of the family until they have a kid. Like it's not after marriage. It's after they have kids in their family.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Why?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Because what if they didn't want kids? I don't know their situation, but like. Ja, ich bin eine Mutter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ja, ich habe das gesehen, es hat mich traurig gemacht. Das ist so traurig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich glaube, was bedeutet das?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Wir sind noch nicht in den Familienbildern. Ich weiß nicht. Ich weiß nicht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Okay. Es war um die Gruppen-Chats. Oh, die Gruppen-Chats.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Die Transition von dem Stress von jedem Besuch und dem Herzschlag zu ihr mich jeden Tag zu kicken und zu sagen, sie ist in Ordnung hier. Ich wusste nicht, dass das in meinem Gehirn verändert würde. Und ich weiß, dass viele Menschen immer noch Angst haben, wenn sie den Bewegungsstoff spüren können. Und eine lustige Sache. Wenn du versuchst, deinen Bellen zu bewegen, mein Bellen ist wirklich hart.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich habe viel Blumen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Ich weiß nicht, warum ich das nicht mache. Blake sagt mir, dass ich das nicht mache, weil es in den Videos ist. Ich bin so, ich kann nur an all den Haaren auf deinem Bein schauen. So, just know, if you have a little more peach fuzz, there might be some in your videos. Cute. That is unexpected, Eddie. That was specific. I like that. I really like that. That's a fun one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Another pregnancy one is like how often people do like just like help you or like do something for you that you actually can do. Oh, ja. Ich denke, es ist eine sehr... Sie wissen, dass ich es kann, aber es ist eine süße Sache. Ja. Für Leute, die das tun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
Wie schön ist es, dass alle verheiratet sind. Danke. Das ist so schön. Können alle einfach so schön sein?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on 2nd trimester, mom rage & switching husbands
27.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Because I'm sure their cat's going to be... Shadow is thriving. Shadow should be stoked. Shadow is thriving. Shadow has the chicken and the turkey. In case you're a skeptic like me and is sitting here and just like, well, why can't we just give the cat freaking kibble? No, Smalls says, believe it or not, your cute kitty descended from ferocious desert cats who hunted live prey for food.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
And your cat isn't any different. They still need fresh, protein-packed meals to be at their very best. So treat your kitty right and try Smalls. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. Head to Smalls.com and use promo code UNPLANNED at checkout for 50% off your first order plus free shipping.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use my code UNPLANNED for 50% off your first order. One last time, that's promo code UNPLANNED for 50% off your first order plus free shipping.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Also hast du noch Kontakt mit ihr?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Well, because it didn't come easily. Like, it felt like you probably, I don't know, I'm, like, imagining, like, you had to swim upstream, you know, because if you were to continue with, like, I don't, doing what was, you needed to survive, but not necessarily, like, push further to, like, thrive, it would have been so easy to go a completely different direction. And it takes one person...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
in der Familie, wie die Mutter oder, weißt du, jemand, ein älterer Figur, um diese Trajectorie zu verändern. Und du hast das voll gemacht. Und das, ich fühle mich, um das Teil davon zu verstehen, es gibt all diese, weißt du, Läufer, was auch immer du dir komfortabel darüber sprichst, natürlich. Aber als du verheiratet warst und 17 warst, ich überlege mir, dass ich 17 war,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Did you call her?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
I was like... Oh, never heard of that in my life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
An welchem Punkt hast du in deiner Geburt entschieden, dass du zu überwältigt bist, dass du das Kind kümmerst? Ich glaube, es war dann, als ich herausgefunden habe... Kann ich über deinen Vater sprechen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Ist das ein Teil von Teil? Ich glaube, es ist ein Teil von Teil.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
So how did you have those conversations then when you had a 16-year-old daughter?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Danke, Revolve. Danke, Revolve. Ihr werdet einen heißen Outfit bekommen, den ich glaube, ihr werdet ihn wirklich lieben. Wenn es einen Brand gibt, den ich vertraue, um mir einen Night Out Outfit zu finden, dann ist es Revolve, Leute. Sie haben die coolsten Konzert-Fits. Sie sind wirklich bekannt dafür. Sie haben wirklich hochwertige, unique Designer-Spiele, die einfach cool sind, Leute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Und sie helfen euch, genau das zu finden, was ihr sucht, was ich gemacht habe. Revolve hat über 1200 Brands und 100.000 Stile zu wählen. Sie haben inklusive Größe von extra, extra klein bis 4X. Sie haben auch personalisierte Produktrecommendationen, basierend auf eurer Verkaufshistorie und Lieblingsprodukten und Branden. Du wirst finden, was du mit Revolve willst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Ich weiß, ich hatte eine tolle Shopping-Experienz mit ihnen und ich fühle mich gut. Very trendy. From last minute getaways to party dressing and seasonal upgrades, Revolve has you covered with fast two day shipping and easy returns all on them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
And for a limited time, you can shop a curated selection of my favorite styles at revolve.com slash unplanned and receive 15% off your first order with code unplanned. That's revolve.com slash unplanned to shop my top picks and get 15% off your first order with code unplanned. Offer ends April 6th, so don't miss out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Ja, du hast neun gespürt. Ja, April 3rd. Okay. Du hast das dann wahrscheinlich erinnert. Du erinnerst dich nicht. Ich erinnere mich nicht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Du warst nicht schlecht. Danke. Es ist so cool, eure Beziehung zu sehen. Ich bin auch sehr, sehr nah mit meiner Mutter. Und ich sehe auch meine Mutter als einen meiner besten Freunde. Und ich kann das definitiv fühlen. Ihr seid die besten Freunde.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Das ist meine beste Freundin. Ich liebe das so sehr, weil ich ehrlich gesagt fühle, dass das fast eine kontroversielle Sache ist, als Eltern, mit deinem Kind zu sein. Weil ich das oft höre. Und... Ich denke, auch Leute, denen ich sage, ich respektiere die meisten ihrer Erfahrungen als Person, aber sie sagen, mein Kind ist nicht mein Freund. Das ist etwas, was ich oft sage. Was sagst du dazu?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Honestly, the whole audience is wondering where I've gone. We just want to know when the Netflix documentary comes out. Yeah, I want to know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
We've used it for several different types of doctors appointments though. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality and network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You can even get same day appointments, which we have actually taken advantage of before.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Sie haben mehr als 100.000 Ärzte auf jeder Spezialität, von mentaler Gesundheit bis zur dentalen Gesundheit, bis zur primären Gesundheit, bis zur urgenten Gesundheit und so viel mehr. Sie können Ärzte filteren, die Ihre Impfstoffe nehmen und die nahe befinden, damit Sie einen guten Fit finden für jede medizinische Bedürfnis, die Sie haben können.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Und Sie können auch Ärzte finden, die von verifizierten Patienten hochwertig sind. Es ist ehrlich gesagt eine wirklich tolle User-Erfahrung.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Das ist so interessant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Wirklich? Das ist gut. Ich bin überrascht, dass sie Weih-Ins haben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Oh my gosh, because like the calories in it?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
That's so interesting. Did the weigh-ins ever get to you mentally? No. No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Nein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
An welchem Punkt hast du deine Frau mit Theorie kennengelernt? Sie kannte sie, bevor ich sie kannte. Keine Ahnung.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
You're like, this is pretty solid evidence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
I love her. How did you create that atmosphere in your relationship? I guess this goes for both of you, since you both came out to each other, where that was a dialogue that felt natural and comfortable to have. I'm sure that's a bigger question than you can even probably put into a couple sentences. I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Ich habe das schon seit Jahren gemacht. Wie siehst du dich jetzt auf diese Zeit zurück? Ist es etwas, dass du sagst, ich habe das gemacht, was ich tun musste?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Hattest du andere Partner? Ich hatte einen Ex.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
War das etwas, worüber du an der Zeit nervös warst? Mit Tina? Nein, nein, nein. Mit anderen Partnern, wie früher. Mit einem Kind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Y'all are so fun. I just want to hang out with you guys. I love that you guys are just going out. In and out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
Hattest du vor, dass es eine lustige Sache sein würde? Wie, hey Mama. Und dann wurde es einfach ein ganzer Moment für dich. Ich war einfach los.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Pregnant at 17, adoption & overcoming addiction w/ Danielle Sylvester & Thyri
This is actually a really cool brand, you guys, because it started back in 2017 with just a couple of dudes that were literally making home-cooked fresh meals for their friends' cats in small batches. And now it's just a few years later and they're serving millions of kitties across the US. They have quite the business going.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Or even just like sometimes when it's a stressful day or, you know, kids losing it and the day is really busy and there's a lot to get done, we feel behind. Sometimes it can also be stressful to be fielding the question like, well, it comes from a good place. Be like, well, what can I do? Like that feels like kind of like another task added to a stressful list of tasks to do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
That's why it's kind of good to like, it's not bad to ask, but it feels good to just like step in.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think in general, the most unattractive thing in a person in general is for me, this is a personal thing. I think large egos are like arrogance. That bothers me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, did you read my cards?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, then what's your answer?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
On the podcast?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You're the hottest man I know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I do not. I do not compliment your butt so much. What are you even talking about?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
A guy who isn't afraid to show them? Yeah. That's not a red flag.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
No, that's not a red flag.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
it's personal preference i think in general it's good to be to practice acknowledging your own emotions now it's another thing if you like talking about emotions with people all the time like that's not something we really do i feel like balance i feel like i'm too emotional to be with someone that constantly wants to talk about their emotions
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
At every partnership, there's probably someone who wants to talk about their feelings and someone who's like... Not as much wanting to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
So do you think I'm sensitive?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
My entire family says I'm not sensitive.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It agitates me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Also, I don't think my parents like I would I still describe myself as a modest person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's so relative. Like modesty is so relative. But my parents didn't like ever. They were never like, go back in your room, little miss, and put on longer shorts. They were never. They bought me bikinis like they weren't that type. They never made me feel ashamed of my body or shy about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think I do feel pain, but I also think that I can disconnect my pain from my emotion, like physical pain from emotion. So then I'm like, I can compartmentalize that, I guess. But where are we going with this? I think it's just personal preference. Like if the woman wants to talk about feelings a lot,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Also, maybe you just don't have a lot of experience of being in an intimate relationship with a woman because I don't think I am more emotional than, I don't think I'm that much more emotional than the average woman.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like personality or physical?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I'm not talking about you. Oh, okay. Because obviously I wouldn't have married you if you gave me the ick.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
When you go like this. Oh, God.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
That's your ick that you gave me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Also, when you spread your cheese.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Awesome.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think I was more empathetic than that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think I was more empathetic than that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think a personality is someone that doesn't want to do things like they just want to stay home and lazy. Well, it's one thing to be like, OK, with chilling. But like when they just like like if you want to go do something fun and there's kind of like I'd rather not or that doesn't like they're like hesitant to try things. Picky eating is a big ick for me. That's a personal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like if you're like, I don't eat vegetables or I don't eat. I don't. If you're just like, I won't try. Here's the thing. If you won't even try it, that actually, I feel like. I'm like, I don't even know how that makes me feel. It kind of makes me feel agitated.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It agitates me, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Because it's not even true.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I sneak Parmesan into so many of the things that we eat.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You eat cheese, Matt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You know you're lying. And you like chocolate. You just don't like chocolate bars. You get so in your head about these things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Okay. See, now I'm pissed.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It definitely depends on like what stage you're at. But if you're like in the intense contraction stage, like reminders of like, like even just counting because contractions are like a mountain. So like, yeah, they build up for like three seconds and then they go down. So you just have to get to the top of the mountain and then breathe out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like, and so if you could count with them or just be like, we're one contraction closer to meeting like,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
our baby or like just like reminders of like you're constantly moving forward because sometimes like the hardest part like mental part about labor is that it can feel like it's like it can go on for hours and hours and hours and I think that pain is one thing but pain over a long period of time is another and that can be really overwhelming but those reminders that like time is passing and you're getting closer you're getting closer you're getting closer that's good I'm taking this so literally
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Why are we talking about this again?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
The reason that I might have agreed at that time was because I had the comparison of our first birth and like the fear of wondering if our baby was going to be okay. Yeah. And I didn't have that fear with our second birth. Yeah. And it wasn't the fact that it was a C-section versus vaginal delivery. It was just the fact of like, I was never thinking our baby wasn't like it was in danger. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Also, the reason I I would I didn't have any contractions with our C-section birth because it was a scheduled C-section. So like that also felt like, oh, that's a fun little bonus. I didn't have to have any contractions.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You know what? Here's what I've learned. There's a lot of really strong emotions around childbirth.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Because it's probably like the mountaintop of emotional experiences people can experience.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Do I need to explain that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Of course, people might disagree or they might have their own baggage they're carrying into things and their own... you know, disappointments and their own frustrations and their own pain. Like, there's a lot of baggage that also comes with that. Yeah. So, I can understand big feelings about it. I think there's different things your partner can do during C-section versus vaginal delivery. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Obviously, like, C-sections... if they're scheduled are usually pretty calm atmosphere yeah so just like honestly with a c-section just keep your eyes on that person because it is really overwhelming to be strapped down to a table and like your body is just out there like on a table cut open and things are happening that that like mentally is a fearful thing and so you can kind of just feel like
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
like not human, you know? And so like looking in their eyes and talking to them, it makes you feel more human and like less like, okay, I'm literally like a frigging, what do they call that? I saw one, a human cadaver.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Yeah, I saw a human cadaver.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I feel like the same things would apply to showing respect towards your husband. So respect can look like a lot of different things, but it can look like asking your spouse permission for something that you don't necessarily really need to ask permission for, but it's just nice. Like, hey, is it all right if I...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Go hang out with, like, go to, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, even for things that don't even, like, involve them taking on anything else. Just, like, running things by them, it's just really... It's just respectful. Or, like, saying, like, maybe not bringing up something new. Like... I think it's respectful to talk about topics with your spouse first before bringing them in public settings. I'm not talking about a podcast, but in a group environment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I've actually never heard that before.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Oh, I think we both can do that. You first tell your person...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
One on one and then move on. I think respect can look like, you know, it's even the way you talk about your spouse when they're not around.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's like I only want to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like I want to respect.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You should also say positive things to their face.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Say the words of affirmation, guys.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like, say the crap to their face and say the positive things behind their face.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
that's funny i'm always going back and forth between like okay i need to cover up keep my body private and then also like it's just a body and we don't need to like make it so much more than it is we don't need to like sexualize everything why do girls say one thing but always mean another yes can we please talk about this i do that you do that i feel like i'm a clear communicator you were not a clear communicator okay give me one example
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think respect can also look like, it's just like supporting your spouse in all aspects. In all things. Now that doesn't mean you're like. Oh. One thousand percent. I agree. But like. You're not going to openly. Just be like. That was stupid in front of other people. But respect is such a bigger thing that it's hard to give tangible examples.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I do that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's something that you genuinely have to feel towards your spouse and then the actions will fall in line.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
No, I'm not.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Also, I feel like maybe some guys don't wear underwear.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Probably not. Probably not the average female. Probably not the average. I don't know. I really don't know. I'll ask my friends tomorrow what it is about gray sweatpants because I don't know if I personally feel the same appeal. Maybe that's like a high school girl thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Why are you reading these questions like that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Romance does not have to be grand gestures. Romance is just the everyday consideration of the other person and like making them a priority. That is romance. And so I think that both men and women get that wrong.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Sure.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I would love you no matter what, because that's that's the that's awesome. That's the agreement we made.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
July 6th, 2019.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
That's a different conversation.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Oh my gosh. How many times have we answered this question?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think I have naively answered this. Having never even had to consider being in the place of being a single mom or a widow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's kind of sad to think about.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, I mean, I just, I feel, what do you mean? This is becoming deeper.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's not that I'm necessarily thinking about us. I'm thinking about someone that could be in my position, like still really young with little children and losing their spouse. That would be very, very hard.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I always tell my friends, I'm like, don't leave them like wondering, like just tell them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Yeah, so I have no idea what I would do if I was in that position and I'm not going to pretend to act like I would know because I also don't think there's a right or a wrong way in that place. I feel like there could be so many reasons that you would choose to not remarry and so many reasons that you would choose to marry and all would be valid. And I'm taking this question way too seriously.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I try so hard to be empathetic, but it's been weeks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
The man flu hits so hard. The man flu, I know that I'm not alone in this. The man flu is way worse than the woman flu, everyone. Just so you know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I mean, here's the thing. Language has two parts, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
So I just want to... Thanks for listening, everybody.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
body language and like tone and then the actual words you say yeah and i feel like if we're generalizing which it seems like this whole video stereotypes and generalizing i'm not trying to generalize i'm just asking the questions that are given to me right here these are the questions submitted by our viewers that's the whole concept so maybe they're pretty sexist matt it wasn't a personal thing i'm just saying that's what this the format of this video is okay sorry
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's kind of sad to think about.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
The reason I think a woman would maybe not say exactly or like tiptoe around what they actually want is because it's extremely romantic to feel known. And so if your partner, like you're like, I didn't even say I wanted this or I didn't even say that X, Y, and Z. And they just knew that. That makes you feel so known and so loved.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I think everybody cares about that. I think at their core, every person cares to feel that way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
You're back on the steak train.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
So that's my answer for that. But I am also still an advocate for clear communication and not testing your husband. But I mean, if your husband can or your boyfriend can just like... Go above and beyond.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
He's joking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
That's a very bad time to ask when they're overreacting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I feel like I'm a clear communicator.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's okay to ask, like, did you get your period? If it's like they want to know how to cater to you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
but it's not okay to ask at that time because then you're kind of just like weaponizing their
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
There's probably a lot of different answers you get if you ask a lot of different types of women. Well, especially I would say it's like the hormones because they're consistently a difficult thing throughout a woman's life. Like they're they're just like and also I don't think that are like women's health. I don't think we know enough about hormones.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I like talking about it with other women that are married. It's not something that you can like talk about super openly. So then when I'm in company that I'm like, okay, these are also people in my same stage of life. They're my close friends and they're also married and they're women. I would not talk about it with men ever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, they're crazy. I've heard once, I don't know if this is true, but like the hormone shift is equivalent to taking like a hundred birth control pills. Your perception is like completely altered and it's kind of crazy. But like hormones become, not become a problem, become prevalent in a female's life. you know, what is it like nine, 10, 11, 12.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
And then you have your cycle, you go through pregnancies, postpartum, and then you go through menopause and it's still a major problem. And then your post or perimenopause, menopause, and then postmenopause, it's still like hormones can, if they're imbalanced, can be a big problem. And I feel like whenever you go to the doctor and they're like, you're like, why is this symptom happening?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I've heard so many women say that they've heard a doctor just say, it's your hormones, which isn't really an answer.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I shouldn't say it's so gross, but like the thought of me being a man is gross. Like I love men, but I don't want to be a man.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I mean, I guess I would just like hop out of bed and like throw some water in my hair and then just be out the door because that's literally your morning routine to like look the way that you look. I have like a whole regimen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I don't really want to. That's a waste of a life to always critique yourself.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's also very vain.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
There you go. I feel like we should get an embroidered pillow that says that. Just water your own grass.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
No, I guess I would just like, the thing I'm envious about men is that their regimen seems to be very efficient. oh yeah like i got ready like you just brush your teeth and out the door i do that but i don't feel like i'm my put together self and i do that i feel like you guys feel pretty complete if you just throw on your nice pants and brush your teeth
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
um sometimes i'm like i just went to the library with our one and two year old like the the shifts that happen in my day are shocking the shifts that happen i'm like my transitions are abrupt that's like the tiktok that i sent you that was me going back to being a parent after doing unspeakable things with my spouse and it's just like this little audio where these two parents are just pretending like everything is normal i i yeah that's that's our life yeah the transitions as a parent are pretty crazy
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
There you go.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Alone time, that is totally each person's own preference, you know?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I would say in the season now that we're in with having little kids, I crave it's both ways because I'm used to being around people all the time because of being around our little people. But I also feel like there's times where I want more alone time than before just because, you know, you're constantly catering and it's like, oh, I just kind of want a minute to just be me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
I wouldn't say that happens on a regular basis, but if we're like changing, then I feel like men would probably tend to go to separate rooms, whereas women would be more likely to change in front of each other.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
It's not the gym. I don't get home from the gym.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Yeah. I kind of feel like the word overstimulated is kind of overused a little bit. Like, I don't know if it's that serious where it's, it's just kind of like, I've always loved getting ready, like using that as me time, like listening to a podcast and kind of just like getting myself together. And then I'm ready to like socialize and be with you and with other people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Picky eating is a big ick for me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Um, it's not that I hate when you come in, but sometimes I'm like, Oh man, I just kind of wanted to like use this time to decompress. And then like you,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
rev up for the rest of the day you know yeah um yeah i do think that alone time is really important and also like i think alone time is not effective if you're just scrolling on your phone or if you're just using your phone like especially social media like i feel like i like alone time should be a time where you kind of just like give your brain rest and not like
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
overstimulated because then you can feel like you're like socialized even though you didn't even see anyone because you're just looking at other people's life
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, I mean, like social media can like numb you out, but do you really feel rested? Do you really feel recuperated?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Like, is it going to make you feel better in the longterm?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Well, you know, I feel like a lot of it has to do with
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Maybe it's just like my love language, but like taking a burden off of me, that makes me feel like not only that you want to help me out and that you care, but that you know, like this, she's feeling burdened or she's feeling stressed and this is something that that she does that I could do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
Yeah, I feel like that would be good. I think you do that and I think that's something that does help a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
having had babies you lose a certain level of modesty that i don't think i ever fully regained that especially okay between pregnancy birth and breastfeeding you just some you lose some of that you don't quite gain all of it back i gained some of it back you've had so many women and nurses and doctors see your hoo-ha when you're giving birth i've also always kind of been that way like i think i did dance growing up and we were like always in dressing rooms i did theater
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Asking my wife UNCOMFORTABLE questions guys are too afraid to ask
That's not technically the mental load, but yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Happy Holidays!
And we are so thankful for you guys being here to listen to our episodes. But yeah, we're taking today off.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Happy Holidays!
feel so connected and thankful for you yeah we're honored i honestly think it's funny that you guys see something unique in us but that is like that that's an honor we're stoked that you're here and we appreciate you being here and we hope that um we hope that we can continue like making this a space where we can all just come together and be this wonderful community and uh you know hopefully make the world a better place along the way
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Happy Holidays!
And Santa Claus. We're Santa Claus now that we're parents. But you guys, we hope that you find time to spend some good times with family this holiday season. We are taking this week off to focus on family and just be parents, be, you know... uncles, aunts, all that good stuff. We are so excited for this new year coming with the podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Happy Holidays!
Okay. Have a great new year and holiday season, you guys. We love you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think that's a great way to put it. You're more observant. What did you say to me the other day? I wanted to do unspeakable things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Okay. All right. Thank you to ZocDoc for sponsoring this portion of our episode. Have you ever wanted to have a doctor's appointment from the comfort of your own home? In 2025, if we can't do things virtually, what are we doing, people? You know, I'm trying to be funny right now and it's really not working.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in-network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental, primary care to urgent care and more. And actually using ZocDoc is how I was diagnosed with ADHD.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I've said that like a bazillion times. If you didn't know that already- You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, who are located nearby, who are a good fit for any medical need you may have, and who are highly rated by verified patients. Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking, so you can even score same-day appointments.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I use ZocDoc and you should too. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash unplanned to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash unplanned. ZocDoc.com slash unplanned. It's okay to keep a secret from your spouse as long as it's for a good reason. I'm going to say three, two, one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Strongly disagree. You said disagree, not strongly disagree.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Welcome back to Unplanned. Today we will be playing Agree to Disagree. We've played this game on our YouTube channel before, but I think this is our first time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think you're winning. I don't think there's a winner in this game.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You can win it. Next one is you never have boring moments together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm going to disagree with that. I think we have quite a few boring moments. I think life can be boring. I think it's okay to be bored.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Just like sometimes you, you know, you put the kids down for bed and it's time to like spend time with your spouse and you're just both tired. So then you just lay on the couch and read books together and it's like kind of boring, but it's also kind of cute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
energy and I was like oh wow we can finally decompress but like I never think of it as boring I think of it as restful but yeah I think on the outside it would definitely be perceived as boring so agree it's important to be friends with your partner's friends I would agree with that I think it's good to be able to hang out if you are doing your own separate things all the time from your partner and vice versa then you probably aren't as interconnected as you could be
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I mean, recently, I've just become friends with all the husbands of Abby's friends. And so I'm kind of poaching her friends, I guess, her friends' husbands. But it's worked out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So we're throwing it back. If you've been here since the beginning, you're probably like, wow, thanks for throwing it back, Matt and Abby. I don't know what I'm trying to say.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I can think of an instance.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I can think of, I can think of something.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
uh really i feel like you have a couple single guy friends and i'm like i'm it'd be weird if i was actually yeah there's like one or two but i also only hang out with them like every other month so it's it's not like a i'm not super i'm not super super close with those people
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
What do you think about this? I know what my mother would say to this, but taking photos and videos of everything ruins the moment. Three, two, one. Disagree. Is there something that happens where you when you go back? at your photos on your phone and you look at them, it just hits you with nostalgia so hard and it hits you with all these sweet feelings.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think it can, but I think there's a way to record in the moment where it doesn't take away from the moment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I like to live in the moment while recording. You know, I actually have a lot of fun making videos of cool things that we're doing. I think like half the fun is making the video, you know, especially when we go on trips and
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah. Our trip to New York that we took last year, I had so much fun on that trip and I really enjoyed documenting it too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Saying I love you too much ruins its meaning. I'm going to say agree. I'm going to say agree. It doesn't hit as hard. You know, if you if you say I love you all the time, it doesn't hit as hard to make what you're saying with those words really mean something. You have to get into detail about why you love them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Someone's husband was doing a happy time dance for their spouse.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And you have to almost like write like a love letter to your spouse about all the reasons that you love them. And I think that's like why those love notes really mean something on, you know, birthdays, holidays, because when you say I love you to somebody every day, it doesn't really mean anything after years and years and years, you know? Does that make sense?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Would you like to do the honors and read us level two?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And she secretly recorded him. And it was super embarrassing. We were all laughing at him.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
We're leveling up, people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I don't even think we're either.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
What would we be jealous of?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And I think like if me or you ever got hit on, I think we would think it's just funny. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
There's no jealousy at all.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And I've never, I've never felt that way about you. How awesome is that? That we never, we both never got cheated on. Give me high fives.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And then I decided I needed to show off my twerking skills.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah. But we're just, we're lucky to not have to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, I'm going to say disagree. I don't know if it has to be an always thing. I think it's probably a good idea, but if you have a pretty good reason to have separate bank accounts, I mean, you do you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
It doesn't seem like that big of a deal breaker.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Oh, here's a hot take. People that have really strong blanket opinions on certain things,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
That gives me the ick, yeah. Because it's like, yo, the world is so much more intricate than that. It's such a basic thing to just...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
It's like, this is the only way. I think when you can recognize that there are different ways of living life, it opens up the world in so many beautiful ways. I was trying to think of something cool to say and I couldn't do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Putting that decade of dance experience to work.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm going to strongly disagree. I'm going to strongly disagree. You're the empathetic queen who's like, Let's talk about your feelings, like all this. And then I'm the one that's like, hey, guys, if you bit someone, you need to go to timeout. You can't just go play after you bite your brother. Like we have rules for a reason, people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And see, I'm going to completely disagree with that because whenever I say no to candy or chocolate, the boys go right to you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And vice versa. They always do that. They do the whole ask mom, ask dad thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think you're a great mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You're a great mom. They're little kids.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm very proud of them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm going to have to agree with that What?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, you are. You are more observant. I think that's a great way to put it. You're more observant of everything, of literally everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You're a genius. That's not true. You're very intelligent. Okay, I agree on that one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You have such strong emotional intelligence, which I am so impressed by. I've never had that level.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You can read situations so well. You can read other people so well. Thank you, honey. You empathize to a level that I cannot comprehend with...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
other stories and people's traumas i mean heck for people listening to our podcast there's been so many times we've had guests come on here that are sharing gut-wrenching you know awful stories and you're just like bawling with them you're like living in the moment with them and i don't know why but it's like for me to like get emotional it has to like kind of hit me by surprise it's always pixar movies it's always up it's always coco like yeah you need the music
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And then that's when I say, let's go to bed and figure this out tomorrow. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I say, let's go to bed. Let's schedule something on the calendar to schedule a time slot to talk about this on the calendar.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
It's delivered right to your door. Smalls was started back in 2017 by a couple of guys home-cooking cat food in small batches for their friends. A few short years later, they served millions of meals to cats across the U.S. At this point, you might be wondering,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Believe it or not, your cute kitty descended from ferocious desert cats who hunted live prey for food. And your cat isn't any different. They still need fresh, protein-packed meals to be at their best.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
It depends on the situation.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You need to try to divide workload in a marriage equally. I think this is the really tricky part though, Abby. I was actually talking about this with somebody the other day. It's never going to be equal. Like in marriage, you're always – Yeah, you're not supposed to keep score. You cannot keep score. You're always going to feel like you are doing more than the other person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You're always going to feel that way. And so what – I was talking about this person is everyone needs to be giving 80% because if both partners are giving 80%, they're going to feel good. Like if both people are overcompensating, then everyone's going to be happy. If you're expecting to just give 50% and nothing more, then you're always going to be let down.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yesterday, you saw this. I was sprawled out in front of our bed. I couldn't get off the floor.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Marriage is never 50-50.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Sometimes, if she wants to that day, she will put them on.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
100% agree. Strongly agree.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, same. I also read your texts all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You probably have a lot of trouble because I have like a hundred missed messages.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, there probably is something important in there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I was so tired. I was exhausted.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I probably need to get back to that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I was trying to be funny. I don't really read your messages.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
When you're married to somebody, like, you're together. You're a team.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Like, I would not be... That's my privacy. Get off my phone. Like, that doesn't exist in marriage.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I can maybe see that in dating, too. But even with dating, it's like, what do you have to hide from your... Maybe you're talking to your parents about, like, should I break up with them? Like, I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, probably not do that in dating. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Ooh, actually for me, not really. I wanted to live in California and then I wanted to live in Hawaii. Um, and I don't live in any of those places, but I, I never have.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Absolutely not. I want to be that by the beach, babe. I love beaches.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You actually said aloud, I want to die in our house.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So I think you kind of are more of team Arizona forever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I don't. When I'm really old. I don't want to think about death right now. That's like hopefully a long way away.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Oh, gosh. We're still on level one?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Ooh. When you're married, who the frick cares? It's all your money.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Who really cares? You know, when you got to like at least... What did you say to me the other day? You were like, at least take me home. I wanted to do some unspeakable things. Dude, I've been telling you this.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I remember dying laughing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
The phrases that you come up with. That's not that clever. You don't even have to think about them. They just come so naturally to you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think I came to you and I was like, can we try this position? And you're like, at least take me out to dinner first. And it was so, the reaction time was so spot on too. You just went right there. Like for me, I would have to spend an hour thinking of a creative way to respond. And I still wouldn't have anything funny to say.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And have you ever wanted to, I don't know, negotiate your home security bill down a bit? Well, Rocket Money can do that for you and they did it for us.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
There was, I don't know if she's a mom or who this woman is, but she was freaking jacked and she was sending it. And I was working out next to her and I was like, I gotta at least do what she's doing. And she is just, she's ripped.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I don't really, I don't, I go in the bathroom when you're going to the bathroom. That's not a thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I might have something important to talk to you about, but I'm not going to come in there to like watch you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
That's weird. That's crossing a line.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
We do not cross that line.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Maybe we, uh, we do have these on level three.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I don't know what the frick that means.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, I mean, maybe for me, I might be more of the avoider.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, because I don't really care about being right. I just want to, like, I just, you know, with marriage, there's no winning. Like, there's no winning or losing. It's just you win when the marriage.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And if you're trying to, like, win an argument, that's the wrong way to go about things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So yeah, maybe I am more of the avoider when it comes to stuff like that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I actually heard the craziest story about this recently where someone cheated on their spouse and then the spouse who was cheated on was so mad they welcomed their spouse back with open arms but had very strict rules and stipulations. They just made rules for, okay, if I'm going to accept you back... Here's what we have to do. But the rules were weird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Like it involved, it involved like, you know, something about them being able to be involved in an open relationship, but not their spouse who cheated. And then their spouse having to like switch where she worked and go to a different workplace.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
No, no, no. This was something I read on Reddit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
it was it was so out there it was so out there it could have been completely made up but it was just one of those things where i was like man like i think you can forgive cheating but at the same time like is it better just to end the relationship at that point because this person who was cheated on was clearly very hurt but then they made some crazy rules that made it even more screwed up
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
than the fact that their spouse even cheated on them. Like it was really, it was like dystopian type of crap.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, like cut off the friend that was supportive of this affair that like they knew about and they didn't tell me. And you know, like if you need to cut out relationships or cut out a job because of a cheating situation, that totally makes sense. I think you can have resolution after cheating, but I do think you do need to make rules. I think you need to make realistic expectations.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And the stats are staggering too. Like there's a lot, there is just simply a lot of cheating that goes on in the world.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And think about this too. Like when people do bad things, they don't usually like wear that bad thing as a badge of honor. Usually when those things come out, it's by accident. It somehow got found out and it was never like supposed to be found out anyway.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So like I wonder what the world would be like if every single person that you saw or walked by or saw on the street, you saw the worst thing they ever did like written on their head. Like, what would that be like? Because I'm sure everybody has something that they don't want people to know about them, you know?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And think about all the crime that goes unsolved, too. Like, there's probably criminals that are among us that we see every day and we have no idea.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And they did something really bad one time and then now they're just like, never doing that again. We would never know because they didn't get caught.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
There was some story where I was, it was, yeah, I beg that question of like, what if everyone had the worst thing they ever did written across their head?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
That's what, maybe you told me this. Maybe I learned this from you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Wait, maybe I should read The Scarlet Letter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
The Scarlet Letter. Okay, I'm reading that book. That's on my book list. Wait, what if we both read it? Hey, mark my words. Once I finish the Harry Potter series, which I'm on Half-Blood Prince right now, it's a really good book. I think one more book after this one. I'm reading The Scarlet Letter, baby. Let's do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
The patriarchy is so effed up, dude.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
at burn you don't take breaks people that's the thing about burn you do so many reps for such a long time you gotta you gotta really work up to it yeah well i'm proud of you thank you and i'm proud of us i feel like you actually are already seeing results which is really frustrating i am such like my abs are starting to show through and you know i'm just trying to stay good looking for you for the long haul because we've already been together almost nine years we're going to celebrate nine years being together wait what's our dating anniversary it was like the 23rd june 23rd june 23rd
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
The world isn't black and white.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Interesting. I think it's just a general thing. I think you're thinking too deeply into it. I think social media... I want to say it's a wash. Well...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Honestly, can I tell you something? Is social media TikTok or is YouTube included in there too? Because I love putting on a podcast on YouTube, learning a lot of good information and then that information helping me be a better person. If your social media term is just scrolling on TikTok and consuming brain rot all day, yeah, that is not good for your head.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But if you're looking at the occasional TikTok or Instagram reel and then you're consuming longer form content on say a platform like YouTube, I don't think that's going to hurt you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
yeah you know what's funny is my algorithm knows that i'm a creator she'll be like if you're trying to grow your account this spring do these seven things i'm like why it's like stop telling me like stop feeding me this creator content yeah but it knows i'm a creator so it's giving me freaking creative creative content you gotta take accountability for that you fed something i did it just knows it knows me really well yeah these algorithms are good man
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Honestly, God, he gave it to him. He has no shame.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But you know what's crazy is when you're on social media, you're always being fed dreams. You're always being fed, like, for guys, they could see a woman, like, be fed all these, like,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
like extremely beautiful women or you know maybe you're looking at people that are so much more successful than you at whatever the thing is that you want to be good at and think about how damaging that can be for your brain or just like makes you think that your reality your life isn't good enough that must be so horrible for the human mind
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, I felt that too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I need to put time limits on my phone again because I go, I really do. I compare myself to other people all the time. Like you see people's highlight reels and you just go to this comparison thing over and over again. It's not healthy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
to if you're going to compare yourself to anybody compare yourself to yourself and try to be one percent one percent better every day but don't look at other people and say oh they're way ahead of me oh they're doing this thing better than me i mean it's just it can be very damaging totally so i would say yeah it's more common for social media to be harmful but i don't think specifically in a relationship just to like an individual matt this is the final one
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Final question. Okay, drum roll. Here we go. What do we got?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You know, I really don't care that much.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I love them. I see them quite a bit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm going to see them in a couple weeks. I saw them a couple weeks ago. I FaceTime them every Sunday. I love them to death. It could be fun if they move to be closer by us. But then that also puts even more pressure on me. If we ever go move to live by a beach one day, they're going to kill me. They're going to hunt me down and be very upset that they moved.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, so that's coming up if you want to mark your calendars. And I think we got to play a little bit of agree to disagree. So our first question, we have three different levels.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I love that our kids talk now. Even Augie, he's only one and he's talking so much. I love that. Well, everybody, thank you for being here. Thank you. If you've been listening to our podcast since the beginning, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's so, so cool that we have this community and it wouldn't be, it wouldn't like this just wouldn't exist if it weren't for you guys.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So we appreciate you guys being here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
If you've listened to every episode, you probably know us better than some of our actual friends.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Maybe I need to. I do need to go deeper with my friends. Yeah, I do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
That's right. Yeah, that's awesome. I love it. All right. Well, we'll see you in the next episode. And as always.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
This is just for fun. All right, no one take this too seriously.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
They brought our bill down. Now we're paying like, I think they got it down to $29.99 and it used to be like almost double that. So thank you so much.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And the best part is if your spouse is someone that likes to just throw up the picture on the wall and ends up being crooked, look no further than mixed house because it's so easy to adjust it, to tweak it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
We have three levels. The first question of level one is, you got married too young. Abby, do you agree or disagree?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yes. Level one. I disagree.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I would also disagree. Why do you disagree with that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
You're my best friend.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And if you do girl math, you can spend that money now in other ways. Totally. Like buying yourself a nice meal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
How dope is that that we did pre-marital counseling? Because when we were just with your grandma like a couple weeks ago.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
We had pre-engagement counseling, which is the norm now, I think, and should totally be the norm. But when we were talking to your grandma, she was like... Counseling. Just that culture you hear about. Older people, they hear the word therapy or counseling and they about poop their pants. It's just a very scary thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But I love that us Gen Zers, I think we're technically Gen Z, are embracing the fact that we don't all have it together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
the age that we were i have my hand up because i have a question oh yeah go ahead do you think that we are more attractive now than we were when we got married at 20 and 21 depends on what you're looking at i feel like we are both more attractive okay this is the next degree to disagree question matt is more high maintenance than abby
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I feel like I'm going to go with the flow type of guy. I think I'm going to go with the flour.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm being honest. The only thing that I am high maintenance on is specific cheeses. If you're going to put Parmesan on my pasta, get the freak out of here. If you're going to try to feed milk chocolate down my throat, get that out of my face. There's some weird food things that I can be a little high maintenance on. But even then, I feel like I'm not a picky eater.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
So I think this question, whoever put this in here, I don't know what they were thinking because we both I don't think we're really high maintenance people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
but it's just like we're so we're both so little high maintenance i think for you maybe like in my head since i can't really chew food around you that makes me think of you being maybe a little bit more high maintenance than me i have misophonia and that is a i make accommodations for your adhd you need to make accommodations for my misophonia what do i do that's not actually been diagnosed
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Actually, what am I supposed to do with your misophonia? Do I just go eat food in a separate area?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But when I have my mouth closed.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I think the way I need to eat chips going forward is like open my mouth, insert the chip, close the lid, you know, lips closed, and then start chewing. Which I think I actually did that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
No, actually, us and all of our friends had Rocket Money except for one of our friends and we were all making fun of them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
That's kind of like a hippie, that's almost, what's it called? Yeah, a hippie lifestyle, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But you like to have luxury, you like that we live next to stores that you can go shopping to. When we lived in Hawaii, I was chill just being in my swim trunks and flip flops all day.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
And that might make you a little bit high maintenance.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Now that we're within 12 minutes of the Costco.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Let's do it. What do you think they're going to say? I don't know, babe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
All right. Go ahead and text them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Totally up to you. You can text whoever you want. Next question. It's okay to go to bed angry sometimes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I feel like you've changed your mind on that one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Bully your friends into getting Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
What are your thoughts on this idea that celebrating anniversaries is overrated? No. Three, two, one. Strongly disagree. Every year we take a trip for our anniversary.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, you're a celebratory gal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
There's no such thing as too much PDA.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
yeah yeah i'm gonna have to disagree with that one yeah and i say that as somebody that used to do a lot of pda you don't do pda as much anymore we you we used to be all over each other like like in our dating like when we were dating we were like glued at the hip like we were a little too touchy honestly okay but i still i still i'm pretty like i feel like when we're around other couples we're always the most pda of all the couples oh true yeah yeah like you'll you'll sit on my lap
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
But I get how it is, obviously. I never saw my parents sit on each other's laps. Maybe they hate each other.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Too much PDA, though. I can see where it can be a little weird. It's like, hey, can you tone it down a bit? Can you not make out in front of me?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
We're going to pay to fix this. Matt is more high maintenance than Abby. Agree.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Yeah, you see some interesting people. You know, you go to Six Flags and you go to Disney World and there's a completely different demographic at those parks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Maybe the moral of the story with this PDA thing is don't go to Six Flags.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
don't go to say honestly i wouldn't anymore six flags was so much fun as a kid but i don't i don't know if i'm feeling good about it anymore it was like the middle school hangout zone like six flags in the mall or the two spots when i was growing up and that's why they're terrifying as adults honestly you see some crazy middle schoolers just in like superman capes oh gosh don't even breathe the next one is abby is more carefree than matt
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I like to live life by the seam of my pants. That's the saying, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
The seam of my... No. What is it? The seat of my pants?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Or words that you mispronounce. Live life by the seat of my pants.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I like to go by the seat of my pants. What does that mean? It's like whatever I'm sitting on, that's what I'm going to do. Is that where it comes from?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Life by the seat of my pants.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Where did that come from? We're looking this up. Where did that come from? I've got to know what this is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
I'm going to have to agree with that one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Life by the seat of my pants. Back in the 1930s, before planes were equipped with advanced instruments, pilots, especially test pilots, had to rely... Flying by the seat of your pants. That's what it's called. Pilots had to rely heavily on instinct, experience, and feel rather than data.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
They literally flew by the seat of their pants, meaning they judged the aircraft's movement and performance by the sensations they felt through the seat.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Married couple plays agree to disagree
Over time, the phrase evolved to mean doing something without a plan, relying on instinct or improvisation. That is 100% me, actually. That is literally how I've always lived my life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I didn't even go with the name yet. I was just like, oh no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
You can hook me if you're like unlimited books.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I feel like we talk about it very surface level, regularly. But deeply, oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Nein, ich versuche mir den Beispiel zu erinnern, den du mitgebracht hast. Aber ich denke definitiv, dass wir über Geld gesprochen haben. Das hat mich vorhin definitiv überrascht. Ich dachte mir, wir sollten definitiv mehr zurückbleiben. Wir könnten definitiv Geld in diesem Weg sparen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Gas und Bricks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Probably when we were buying furniture for our house.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Hast du das geplant?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Dann fühlte ich mich sicher. Ich dachte, okay, was auch immer unter dem hier ist, können wir Spaß haben. Okay. Bist du interessiert, was sie bedeutet, wenn sie das Wort sicher sagt?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I don't know. I'm like, if we spend over this amount, then, like, I don't know. It just feels like, oh, it's just gonna run out and we're not gonna make ends meet. I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Tell me what you mean. Like, it feels like... Es fühlt sich lustig an, Geld zu spenden, wenn es so ist, dass wir schon Veranstaltungen gemacht haben, um das zu spenden. Aber wenn es einfach casual ist oder über das, was wir erwartet haben, dann fühlt es sich wie stressig an.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Danke. Du hast angefangen, mir Investitionen zu erklären.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I know what we've invested.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
And like how, when, like retirement ideas even. Like, you know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich liebe das!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Das ist unglaublich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich würde nicht auf irgendeinem Podcast sein, wenn Matt von einem Bus getroffen wurde. Das wäre der letzte, den du je gesehen hast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Maybe never.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich fühle mich gut mit den Kindern, mit den Mahlzeiten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich habe definitiv keine Google Docs. Ich mag das nicht. Es ist intuitiver? Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich glaube, das wäre sicherlich ein Confidence Booster.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich glaube, ich würde es schnell entscheiden können, weil... Es wäre nicht so ein lustiges Geheimnis.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Wartest du auf Matt, um es aufzubringen? Ich könnte die Konversation selbst anfangen, es aufzubringen. Schön.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Proaktiv.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich mache meine Haare fertig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Das war ein Splurge. Zeig die Kamera. Wow, sie sehen sehr gut aus. Können wir sie sehen? Das war ein Splurge.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Vielleicht nicht. Ich fühle mich gut bei den Kindern. Und das fühlt sich gut an.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Aber nicht bei dir. Nicht, dass ich es nicht tue, aber ich fühle mich schuld daran.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich fühle mich, als ich erwachsen bin, hat das Wort Rich fast eine negativen Konsequenzen in meinem Haushalt, weil wir, wie soll ich es sagen? Lauer-Mittler-Klasse. Lauer-Mittler-Klasse. Rich in unserem Haushalt waren die schnabbigen Country-Club-Mitglieder. Es war wie, oh, wir brauchen das nicht, wir haben einander. Mittwoch, richtig?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I feel like I might be an avoider now that you described worrier. I'm one of the bad ones.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ja, vielleicht. Vielleicht ist es das Bewusstsein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Wir brauchen das nicht. Wir sind einfach. Aber das ist das, was ich an deinem Show liebte, wie du sagst, eine reiche Leben könnte sein, wenn du deine Kinder täglich aus der Schule holst. Und ich denke, ich möchte dich mehr erklären, was reich ist und was eine reiche Leben ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Where do you start?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Nicht so viel.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ja, das macht mich gespannt. Ich liebe es.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich glaube nicht. Nichts.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I feel like we have been able to do that, but it was like getting a zoo membership. We got them a membership to like an indoor trampoline park.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Getting out of the house with the kids makes it so much more fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
And there's a lot of free things we do. And then there's also like fun paid activities that we do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Yes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich mag das sehr.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich habe diesen Episode zu deinem Mann gesendet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Wir sind auf der gleichen Seite. Und dann haben wir die Konversation. Okay, also eine Konversation fühlt sich gut an. Wo fangen Sie an? Dein Einkommen oder dein Haushaltserhalt?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I just got distracted because did we do all four money types?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Oh, we did.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I really latched onto that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I know a lot of couples that have separate.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Yeah, for their mortgage.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Like, is the typical prenup... You make it disappear after a certain amount of time?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Und dann ist er so, was sagt das Nummer, Baby?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
25.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
He's like, let's get people excited. Let's get out a calculator.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I have no frame of reference. I don't even want to guess. Everyone gets it wrong.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Nein. Bist du okay? Ich bin mit Rage bekannt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Was meinst du mit run the numbers? Lass uns darüber sprechen. Ich liebe das.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
No, I feel like I learned a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Weil wir ein Haus gekauft haben und es kaputt gemacht haben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich liebe es. Wir lieben unser Haus sehr.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ist es eine schlechte Idee?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ja, ich denke, das war immer mein Hintergrund, aber ich konnte nicht verstehen, warum ich das so fühlte. Aber ich weiß, dass es viele Leute gibt, die in langfristig verabschiedeten Beziehungen sind, die sich so verabschiedet haben. Und ich denke, als jemand, mit dem wir super früh zusammengearbeitet haben, war es nervig. Es war einfach schwierig zu managen. Warum?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Weil man immer eine Konversation haben muss. Warte, bezahlst du das? Ich denke, es gäbe viele grüne Bereiche und es würde einfach nervig werden. Ich liebe, dass du das grüne Bereich gesagt hast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
We don't pay for gas anymore. No, but on the way to Vegas, you were like, okay, are you going to be annoyed if I ask you to check gas prices?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Wir kaufen nicht getrocknete Wasser. Ich hasse es, Wasser zu bezahlen. Ich finde es dumm.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Matt cracked into it last night and I thought the world was gonna explode.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
On what? Chips and popcorn. Crazy!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Yeah, okay. Your business class, first class will be on spirit. This is really funny. Isn't this proving my point? Like,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
At the minibar. At the minibar, baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Und ich mag es, dass der Fokus mehr darauf ist, was du Geld spenden willst, anstatt dass du nicht mehr die Dinge hast, die du willst. Du musst zurückbleiben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Das klingt unglaublich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ich bin so gespannt, es zu lesen. Ich kann sagen, wenn du jemand bist, der überwältigt ist mit dem Gedanken, über Geld mit deiner Schwester zu sprechen, ist das sehr digestibel. Und es gibt literally Dialog in hier. Es gibt Checklists. Es ist nicht viel kleines Schreiben. This right here is very, very digestible. So you did a great job.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
Thank you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
I feel like our sport is doing direct.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
No, and I don't think we, I don't see that being one of our rules.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Ramit Sethi on Prenups, Renting vs. Buying, & Joint Bank Accounts - Financial Advice for Couples
So you have your own ten rules, but your spouse, you recommend that each person has their ten rules.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
That is posted in our kitchen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
No, people just started picking up on the code too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I didn't know people found out the code word. I feel like there's suspicions. Jeez.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Well, that's what I said with Matt, with playing this podcast. Matt was like, okay, well, like, a lot of his top ones are talking about sex. And I was like, Matt, we are 26. We have two children. Let's talk about sex, okay? Because we, like, I feel like we tiptoe around it a lot. It's probably because grandmas sometimes listen. We don't have to talk personally.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
We can talk about it in general terms that are appropriate. Because we're married, we have two kids, and I feel like it's a topic that... You're two for two.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I feel like it plays a really big role, like always, but especially after having kids, because it changes so dramatically. That's right. Like when you said survivor sex or survival sex, I was like... Yeah, that's relatable. But you can have...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich habe ein Reel gesehen und es war ihr Mann, der ihr Sohn's Baseballteam trainiert hat. Und sie ist so, ich habe nie, wenn du mir als 20-Jähriger gesagt hättest, dass das das Sexieste wäre, was ich je gesehen habe in meinem Leben. Alles verändert sich einfach. Es verändert sich. Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ist das eine intentionelle Konversation, die du im Dezember hattest?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Thank you to Nutrafol for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guys, my hair growth process has been, honestly it's crazy. People tell me every single day they can't believe how long my hair has gone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
It's really, really good hair. Thank you. And you can tell how much it's grown since my last haircut because my highlights are growing out. Aber es ist fast in meinem Hals, was mein Ziel ist. Und ich denke, so viel von dem zu Nutrafol. Sie haben vielleicht Nutrafols Haargrossupplementen gehört und gefragt, ob sie wirklich funktionieren. Und das ist eine faire Frage.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Viele Haarsupplemente überversprechen und unterdeliveren, aber Nutrafol ist anders. Als der Nummer 1 Dermatologen, der Haargrossupplement-Brand empfiehlt, ist er von über 1,5 Millionen Leuten vertraut. Und es wird klinisch getestet, um echte Ergebnisse in nur drei bis sechs Monaten zu erzielen. Und eine Haarroutine zu bauen ist wirklich einfach.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code UNPLANNEDPOD. Find out My son came home, he goes to a Catholic school and he came home as a freshman. And he came home with this large theological declaration.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Das ist ein tiefer Gedanke. Ich finde es interessant, dass du das ansprichst. Ich habe vor kurzem die Statistik gehört, dass Frauen, ich glaube du sagst 25-35 Jahre alt, Männer verdienen. Und meine Reaktion als Frau war, oh ja. Wir haben gewonnen, wir haben gewonnen. Feminismus, Baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Yeah, I feel like it's made me ask myself, like... You have two little boys, right? Yeah, I have two little boys. It's something I'm really interested in, especially because I feel like we're not quite to those... Obviously, these years are very critical, but for different reasons. I think once we start getting to the teens, like pre-teen age, it's like... Exactly. Like, what do you propose?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I feel like a lot of it also boils down to emotional intelligence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I know that's such a big question, but with raising kids, how do we raise specifically boys that are emotionally intelligent? What does that start with?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I want the truth.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich möchte zurückkehren zu dem, was du vorhin gesagt hast, weil es mir wirklich gefallen hat. Und es ist etwas, mit dem ich manchmal kämpfe, wenn du sagst, wir sprechen über die Saison nach Babys, vielleicht frisch, vielleicht sogar älter, wie deine Kinder. But like getting away for a weekend and like you said no diapers, none of the distractions of like, I shouldn't say distractions, but like.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Okay, distractions.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Das ist das, was kommt. Es fühlt sich so an, dass ich schuldig bin, dass ich weggegangen bin. Es fühlt sich an, als ob man sie zeigen würde. Du sagst, wenn ich auf die TV schreie, ist das mehr wichtig für mich. Oder wenn ich auf mein Handy schaue, ist das mehr wichtig für mich, wenn ich meine Kinder verliere. Warte, vielleicht ist das der ganze Punkt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Do you ever feel like it's hard to separate your personal marriage and relationship and then your work?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Danke, Bobby, dass du dir diesen Teil dieses Videos unterstützt hast. Etwas, was ich jetzt gelernt habe, als Eltern von zwei Kindern, ist, dass keine zwei Kinder gleich sind. Und ich habe wirklich gedacht, dass vielleicht unsere Brustnahrungsjourneys zumindest gleich sein würden. Aber nein, unser erstes, wir hatten einen ziemlich smoothen Weg für die vollen zwölf Monate.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Du darfst wahrscheinlich keinen öffentlichen Kampf in der Kaffeehalle haben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Wir brauchten nie wieder eine Formel. Aber mit unserem zweiten, bei ungefähr neun Monaten, nach vielen Schwierigkeiten, wurde klar, dass wir eine Formel-Option suchen müssen, um zu supplementieren. Und wählen, welche Formel für euer Baby zu benutzen, kann eine wirklich schwierige Entscheidung sein. Ich weiß, dass wir gesagt haben, ich weiß nicht, wo zu beginnen. Es ist ein bisschen überraschend.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Es gibt so viele Optionen und du willst sicherlich eine wählen, die am besten für euer Baby ist. Und deshalb bin ich wirklich gespannt, was Bobby haben muss. Bobby unterstützt jeden Ernährungsjourney mit einfachen, organischen, hohen Qualität Formeln, die ihren Besten für euren Besten bringen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
After three years of research, testing and retesting and relentless mom-led development, Bobby launched the world's first USDA organic whole milk infant formula, manufactured right here in the US. Bobby's actually launching the first of its kind recipe. It's Bobby's closest recipe to breast milk yet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
It's packed with ingredients that support brain development, plus more naturally occurring full fat cream and fewer added oils deliver smoother poops, which a constipated baby is a cranky baby and we do not like that. And Bobby's actually available online as well and at a retailer near you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Exclusively for our unplanned listeners, Bobby is offering an additional 10% off on your purchase with code unplanned. Visit www.highbobby.com for more details. That's h-i-b-o-b-b-i-e.com.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ja, ich habe in den Flughafen geschrien. Ja. Jedes Mal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich warme mich immer darauf, nicht wahr?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
We went to IHOP. We literally went to IHOP. Five minutes away. I was like crying my pain date.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
That was probably postpartum related.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Nein, das ist das, was ich dachte. Ich dachte, du denkst, du bist schockiert, ich bin schockiert, ich werde so lange hier sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I actually have a friend who she has a two-year-old too. And she's like, her daughter will be like, don't fight. Like she'll say stuff like that. And then her husband will say, no, honey, it's okay. Mom and dad just care about each other a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
I feel like in a way that's like, it's such a high calling to be like, be emotionally regulated. But also it does take a lot of the pressure off of like, okay, what style of parenting am I going to choose? How do I approach discipline? Like that can be really... Ich fühle manchmal die Druck, einen Typen zu nennen. Ich brauche eine Formel für das.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Wurde deine Frau da?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich würde sagen, das wäre meine schlimmste Angst, dass mehr als ich aufstehen würde, Matt aufstehen würde, weil das vulnerable ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Nicht ein guter Zeit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Das ist interessant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich liebe das.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Kannst du helfen? Ich habe niemanden, den ich nennen kann. Das ist so gut. Wir haben uns in der 8. Klasse getroffen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Wir haben uns viel verändert.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich liebe das. Was ist Dawson's Creek?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Okay. Dawson's Creek, okay, okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Sie waren eigentlich Kindheitstrainerinnen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich fühle mich, als wäre ich 1.000 Jahre alt. Wir haben uns nur geküsst. Okay, das ist witzig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Oder... Was habe ich verpasst? Oder beide? Kann ich ehrlich sein? Ich fühle mich 95% der Zeit... Es ist unglaublich. Es ist so... Es fühlt sich so sicher an. Ja. Aber dann gibt es das 5% der Zeit, wo ich... Wenn ich andere Leute treffe, oder... Ich hatte viele Rendezvous. Ich bin so... War das mehr Spaß für sie?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich glaube, das war wirklich, wirklich schrecklich. Und wir haben es beide mit einander geteilt. Und wir waren so... Okay, now I feel like it feels great and amazing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich dachte, du konntest nicht weg, du hattest Angst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Like, what is the deepest, darkest thought you've ever had?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ja, weil ich finde, es gibt eine Partei, die sagt, wenn du alle von mir wüsstest, könntest du mich nicht noch lieben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Es kommt nicht immer dazu in unserer täglichen Leben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Sie ist so, dass ich das nicht sage. Oh, er weiß, dass ich nie weg bin. Ich bin literally wie Matt, du, ich, ich, die Kinder und die Bücher. Wir sind bereit. Wir machen unsere Routine.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Ich habe keine Druck, ehrlich gesagt, weil ich nichts lese, also lebe ich einfach meine Leben. Aber Matt fühlt Druck. Ich fühle mich, oh, deine Identität ist in diesem Thema verbunden, weil es so ein großes Erlebnis ist. Ich habe es einfach nur so geschrieben. Also gibt es viel Druck auf ihn.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Es ist einer der Top 3, oder? Finanzen, Sex und dann... Kinder?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
He brings them up on dates or like with our family.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Oder...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Das ist wirklich verrückt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Dr. John Delony breaks down affairs, s*x conflict & the worst parenting mistakes
Und Rocket Money hat über 5 Millionen Benutzer und hat ein Total von 500 Millionen Dollar in abgeschlossenen Subscriptions gespart, die Mitglieder bis zu 740 Dollar pro Jahr versparen, wenn sie alle App-Premium-Fähigkeiten benutzen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
By bye binkies, hitting a car & losing our luggage
3.000 Action-Filialen in Europa und wir feiern mit extrem niedrigen Preisen. Zum Beispiel Palmolive-Shampoo 750ml nur 1,29 und unsere weichen Hotel-Royal-Baumwoll-Handtücher nur 2,49. Für noch mehr extrem niedrige Preise besuche unsere Filialen oder schau in die App Action. Kleine Preise, große Freude.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
By bye binkies, hitting a car & losing our luggage
I just want him to stay a baby forever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
By bye binkies, hitting a car & losing our luggage
That's literally so true.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Mein Körper, wie können drei wachsen? Du bist so klein. Oh, du bist so nett. So klein. Wie können sie alle hier fit werden? War es nur Angst? Alles. Es hat mich getroffen. Alles hat mich getroffen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und dann kam es später. Das war wahrscheinlich das, was du in diesem Moment brauchst. Du brauchst wahrscheinlich Erwartung. Ja. Und dann habt ihr gewechselt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Als 26-Jähriger. Ich würde sagen, es gibt etwas dazu. Wie die Eltern werden, wo du einfach fühlst, dass du deine Eltern brauchst. Ich brauchte meine Mutter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Das ist so süß. Meine Mutter ist unglaublich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Hast du dir jemals gedacht, dass du aussteigen musstest?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Hat dir das Hintergrund mit deinen Kindern geholfen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ihr seid verrückt. Ihr seid verrückt. Ihr seid verrückt. Ihr seid verrückt. Ihr seid verrückt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Because they were like thinking that they weren't going to be able to get the labor stopped.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich bin sicher. Das ist so cool. Glaubst du, dass das ist, warum du ins Krankenhaus gegangen bist? Oder glaubst du, dass du tatsächlich praktizieren wirst?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
The things that you serve. So I'm like, this is an opinion question. Like, why are you relying on ChatGPT?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Nein, ich habe die letzten Tage viele DMs bekommen, wo ich gesagt habe, dass ich schwarze Finger habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
No, I just got rolled off.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
What do you think?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Yes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
That's a lot. So, that's why it's never too early to start thinking about improving your fertility. And that's why we're excited to talk about Needed. Needed is a women-owned brand that offers a complete nutritional system for fertility, pregnancy, postpartum and women's health.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Everything from egg quality to support for women who are trying to conceive to a lactation support plan for breastfeeding moms. And even to stress and sleep support that supports all women, including those in perimenopause or menopause. Needed is a collective of more than 6,000 practitioners working together Es gibt so viele Dinge, bei denen die Ärzte nur Hormone sind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und du denkst dir, das hilft nicht wirklich. Und das ist nicht wirklich eine legitime Antwort auf die Symptome, die wir fühlen. Und das ist das, was ich liebe, dass Needed wissenschaftlich verwendet wird. Und es sind nur Ärzte, die versuchen, Frauen durch gesundheitliche Begegnungen zu unterstützen. Oder in welcher Phase deines Lebens.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I also think it's really cool that they have sperm support because a lot of the fertility problems get placed on women where men also play a very important role in fertility. So I love that they're thinking about it from that side too. There's so much on the journey to parenthood that you can't control, but nutrition is a big one that you can.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Head to thisisneeded.com and use code UNPLANNED for 20% off your first order.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
More.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
There's a viral video where people are like, saying like, new moms now are like, no, murder is wrong. And I'm like, Ja, aber deine Kinder... Alle Moral ist aus der Tür.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ja, es ist nur eine echte Selbstlosigkeit. Wow, das, das News zu bekommen, musste sein. Ich meine, ihr habt so viele verrückte Dinge genommen. Wart ihr nur in einem konstanten Stress-Stand für ein bisschen da? Ja. Fühlt ihr euch noch so an das zu arbeiten, oder gibt es einen Punkt?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich meine, sie wachsen so schnell. Es ist so fleißig, wie diese Momente. Und es ist so verrückt, wie schnell du vergessen kannst. It changes you forever, but you're like, I just can't remember. I don't remember like going through that because you're just like, you're so focused on the mission that it's just like, you're not even thinking about how you're feeling.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
You're like, okay, well, go, go, go. And I can't even imagine like your experience too. But I've heard this conversation a lot recently about like stress and like our nervous system. And I feel like that period of time had to have like Das ist so lustig. Das ist so lustig. Das ist so lustig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Oh mein Gott, du sagst, bitte schlafen. Ich weiß nicht, ob ich schlafen soll.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
We have to be easy on him.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Sie sind alle zusammen, aber manchmal sind die Mädchen ein bisschen, weißt du, verbreitet. Ich werde es dir sagen, die Mädchen sind am Spielplatz, sind ein bisschen fassig. Sie erzählen Griffin, Griffin war einfach so, er war einfach so, er schlug nicht an, was sie spielen wollten, und sie sagten, geh weg. Geh weg.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und ich war so, er war einfach so, er war einfach so, er war einfach so, er war einfach so, er war einfach so, er war einfach so,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
The other day, Griffin started doing this on my hair. And I was like, oh, like, Es war so süß. Und am anderen Tag kam ich runter und er sagte, du bist wunderschön, Mama. Oh mein Gott. So süß. Und ich hatte so eine große Reaktion. Er sagte es wieder und er sagte, du bist wunderschön. Und ich war so, Matt, es ist so verrückt, wie er so viel an dich schaut und so viel will, dass du es machst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
know replicate and that's also such a heavy responsibility but so cool but like he's probably seeing you help out and do all these things and he just wants to do exactly what you're doing and it's like so cool that you guys are like setting such amazing examples for them too oh thank you every parent though it's just like it it does put more responsibility for us you know it's like oh my gosh we we really gotta pick up our game because they're watching every move now for sure you know but it's hard when you're exhausted it's hard to be a good parent when you are not
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Du fühlst dich besser. Das ist wirklich cool. Ich denke, die zweite Seite dafür ist, dass du etwas für dich selbst machst, damit du bereit bist, bevor du deine Kinder den ganzen Tag servieren kannst. Ich denke, es gibt definitiv etwas dafür. Füllen Sie sich auf, damit Sie gehen können.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Du könntest 24-7 gehen. Danke, Lumi, für die Sponsorisierung dieser Episode. Ich gehe in den Gym fünf Tage pro Woche und dann gehe ich und gehe Routen. Und das kann eine echte Rezepte für Disaster sein und nicht Freunde zu machen, weil ich... Ich habe Schmerzen und stinke danach und bin einfach im Publikum, als wäre alles in Ordnung.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Aber der Grund, warum ich das tun kann, ist, weil ich Lumi's Whole Body Deodorant liebe und sie lieben auch diese Body Wipes, die wirklich, wirklich schön sind. Ich stelle sie einfach in die Hinterkante meines Autos, rühre die Pizzen runter, rühre alles, was schmerzhaft ist, und ich kann auf meinem Weg sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Es wurde tatsächlich von einem OBGYN geschaffen, der zuerst sah, wie normales BIO missdiagnostiziert und verletzt wurde. Sein Deodorant hat sich bewiesen, dass er den ganzen Tag blockiert und die Schmerzen für 72 Stunden kontrolliert. Und sein neuer Deodorant, der den Schmerzkontrollen hat, hat den gleichen 72-Stunden-Schmerzkontrollen plus auch 72-Stunden-Schmerzkontrollen, was unglaublich ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Besonders, weil wir in einem heißen Klima leben. Wir sind aktive Leute. Wir holen Tochteren um. Wenn das nicht macht, dass du einen Schmerz auf deinem eigenen machen kannst, dann machst du etwas anders, als wir sind. Und Lumi's Starter Pack ist perfekt für neue Kunden.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Es kommt mit einem Solid Stick Deodorant, einem Creme Tube Deodorant, zwei gratis Produkte deines Wahls, wie vielleicht der Mini Body Washer, die Deodorant Wäsche, die ich gesprochen habe, und gratis Verkauf. Als speziale Offer für Zuschauer, bekommen neue Kunden 15% von allen Lumi Produkten mit unserem exklusiven Code.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und wenn du die 15% mit dem bereits gekauften Starter Pack kombinierst, das bedeutet über 40% von ihrem Starter Pack. Use code UNPLANNED for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com. That's code UNPLANNED at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Please support our show and tell them we sent you smell fresher, stay drier and boost your confidence from head to toe with Lume.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Mom to mom, what is postpartum like after triplets?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und ich glaube wirklich, dass jede Beziehung Saison hat. Und es ist wie, vielleicht ist das nicht die Saison, in der wir sind wie... haben eine Menge Energie übrig, aber es ist so, dass wir immer noch priorisieren und das haben. Seid ihr alle jemals Date-Nachts?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Okay, ja. Ich dachte mir, wie soll ich denn auf eine Wedding gehen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Banking Services and Debit Card provided by the BankCorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe Eligibility Requirements and Overdraft Limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I actually know someone, that's my uncle's family. It's crazy. Yeah, so crazy. They were trying for a boy, there was their third, no, third or fourth, and they got triplet girls.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich weiß es nicht. Ja. Vielleicht ein Jahr her. Ein Jahr her vielleicht. Ja. Das ist so süß. Was ist ein A-Home-Daten-Night für euch? Willst du mir erzählen, was du tust?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Wir können nicht aus der Schnee raus.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Please don't. We're going to have to tell this story later because you're missing so many.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
That's awesome. So, having triplets in your belly, do you have like loose skin? Because I have loose skin like from one. You do? Yes, yeah, I do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und du hast Milch für drei Babys gemacht?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ja, ich kenne total die Pumping-Game und die Breastfeeding-Game. Wir haben uns selbst einen tiefen Kühlschrank. Es war verrückt. Aber seitdem hast du neue Puppen. Denk daran.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Because I'm going back and forth. I'm like, do I do it? Do I not? Do I wait till I'm for sure done? Like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm entertaining it. I got a consultation. Yeah. And I left feeling not super excited. Oh, shoot. I know. Wait, now I got insecure.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Don't say anything. Oh, okay. I won't trash talk this person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich glaube, sie war großartig. Ich glaube, es ist ein interner Kampf, den ich ein bisschen länger sitzen muss. Aber du bist glücklich damit? Sehr glücklich damit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ja. Okay, das ist gut zu hören.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Weil ein Freund mir gesagt hat, ich bin total mit ihr verabschiedet, also glaube ich nicht, dass sie etwas falsch gesagt hat, aber sie war so, du hattest den verrücktesten Brusttransformationen von jedem, den ich kenne, der Kinder hatte. Ich war so... Yes, thank you for acknowledging me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Er versucht es zu halten, wie er sich aufregt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Das ist auch sehr normal in Utah. Ich habe gehört, dass es die Plastik-Schleimhaut ist. Warte, ist Utah die Kapital-Plastik-Schleimhaut?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Kommt zu Utah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Es gibt viele andere.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
It's so good.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I don't know about that one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
No. I get the ones that are like the strawberry water like flavor.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
What was it?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Common for you. But like, I feel like people like living in New York are like, what the crap are they doing? Coconut and
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ihr seid so süß. Aber wie viel trinkt sie?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Das ist wahr. Es kann den ganzen Tag umdrehen. Es kann viele andere Dinge für dich machen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Not the same. You don't want to tiptoe into that area.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I don't know. I'm curious, what are things that people unintentionally say that are unintentionally rub you the wrong way as parents to triplets? Oh gosh. Are things people accidentally being insensitive or this is just something that we hear all the time and it's actually just kind of annoying at this point?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Oh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
So good.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
It feels wrong to my soul.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
No, no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Okay, let's transition from the chicken to the hot dog.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I don't get the chicken because they taste like hot dogs. You think the chicken tastes like hot dogs? Yeah. Oh no. Yeah, it's okay. I was pregnant, so maybe that just had something to do with it. I didn't know how to taste.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
So I ruined him too. I can't do it. I was pregnant, we were eating Costco chicken. I was like, this tastes exactly like hot dogs right now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Good talk. Well, day to day now. Are you guys like, you're getting out more or you're like still you're in the house?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und ja, du hast recht. Strecke sind sehr gefährlich. Für ältere Körper.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Okay. So crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Und deine Kinder tragen Helmete? Sie hatten Helmete. Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
We actually talk about that, Matt. It's like, I'll take the kids for a bike ride and then take them to the park. And he's like, someone will just leave their helmets on them, because at the park they fall down all the time. He's like, it's probably saved them from some major injuries.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
This was at McDonald's?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Wie ein 2-für-1-Deal, ich weiß nicht. Das ist verrückt, wenn du anfängst zu bezahlen, wenn sie 2 werden, dann musst du manchmal anfangen, für Dinge zu bezahlen, wie Aktivitäten, wie in der Schule, wie all diese, wie du weißt, wer weiß, wo das Leben sie führen wird, aber es wird von 0 bis 3 mal gehen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Matt, you put our kids in the most random clothes. Sometimes I leave for like an hour and I come back and I'm like, Wisst ihr, dass Auggie einen 6-12 Monat langen Schlauch im letzten Tag anhatte?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Auggie ist groß. Er ist so blöd. Und 6-12 Monate? Er ist eigentlich 18 Monate alt. Und ich dachte mir, was ist er an? Sein ganzer Bein steckt aus.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Aber wenn er im Schlauch sitzt, denkt Matt, dass es funktioniert.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Sie haben einen Pajama-Topf und Kackis. Es ist eine Vibe. Ich habe das definitiv noch nie gemacht. Ich denke, es ist eine Dad-Ding. Er hatte das kleine Shirt und er war in Griffins Jeans. Erinnere dich dir, wie das aussieht. Ich dachte, was ist da los?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
That's just like parenthood. Highs and lows. Just making it through. I'm so glad you guys have each other through it all. You guys seem so solid and so sweet. I already feel like we're friends.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Wir haben uns noch nie am Ende eines Podcasts gegrüßt. Das ist so gut.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
But then there's days where I'm like, heck no. I think that's how it's always like. Once you start having more, you're like, okay, never mind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
They're just like, we are gonna do it. And then we're like, never mind, never mind. It depends on the hour. Yeah, it depends on the hour, honestly. Okay, well, it's not a harsh no. You didn't get the snip.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Even that can be reversed. Y'all are young.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
I feel like that sadness, too, wasn't about your children, you know, it was just like... Ja, genau. um dich in diesen Welt zu bringen. Und ich dachte, es ist, weil es nicht persönlich war. Es war nicht um Augie. Es war um, okay, das Leben wird jetzt wirklich anders aussehen. Und einfach, wie du glaubst, wie dein Leben in dem nächsten Moment aussehen wird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Aber dann kommst du auf die andere Seite und denkst dir, das war viel besser, als ich es je vorstellen konnte. Und du liebst ihn so viel. Du hast recht, du kannst dich nicht für... Ich habe das Gefühl oder fühle mich schuldig darüber.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Das ist so verrückt mit drei Babys. Und du dachtest, dass sie Twins waren zuerst. Ja. Also was war das?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Er war richtig.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich bin eigentlich gerade krank, wenn ihr es nicht seht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
Ich habe einen Post gemacht, wo ich sagte, es gibt Bubbel im Hot Tub, aber dieses Ding hat Jets. Und dann hat jeder gesagt, ist das dein Weg, zu sagen, dass du Gas hattest?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
TikTok's Triplet Mom: $7M NICU bill & Premature birth at 28 weeks
ZocDoc ist eine kostenlose App und Website, wo man sich und vergleichen kann, hohe Qualität und Network-Doktoren und klicken, um sofort einen Besuch zu buchen. Sie haben sogar gleichzeitige Besuche, aber typisch passiert es binnen 72 bis 42 Stunden des Besuches, was unreal ist. Ich fühle mich so, dass man so viel Zeit fährt und dann wartet. ZocDoc.com slash unplanned
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
It is just magical. It is. You can't describe that. Were you there when I was born? Of course.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I remember the first time I saw you at the Muni. And you were such a cute guy. And you were of the same personality and talent and all. And that was a dream come true. And, you know, I was in St. Louis at the hotel for your first date. And I can remember lying awake and, you know, I've got to find out how this went.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
And I don't think they had those cross pieces. I think the seat belts were just around your waist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
He was a lot better on this one than at the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
And obviously, like you say, it worked, but, you know, it would have been my choice, but...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah, it depends totally on who you're talking to, what age they are. If they're under a certain age, I mean, this is... Well, at this point, they know who you are anyway.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Just like within the last five years or... or whatever. And, um, yeah, it's my claim to fame because they knew who you, I don't know how they knew the connection. Are they, maybe, maybe you had been, been there, you know, before. And, um, Anyway, they all looked up all these things on YouTube and all and were playing them. And yeah, I had no problem. We made a video for them, Matt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
It was so sweet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That was a seventh grade class.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
No, this was up in Lombard.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
To get your fame from your grandchildren is an interesting situation. I'm all for it. Don't get me wrong, but it's just kind of unusual. But I had no problem with any discipline in class, I'll tell you what. Or they would do anything I'd want if I'd promise to give you a message or maybe have you send them a little video or something.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Oh, yeah, I've seen that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah, Grandma, you should talk about learning adventures. And you used to come and sit on the counter. Yeah. And look at all the pencils. I loved the pencils. Yes, you were pretty small when we sold, finally, I guess.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
obviously it didn't obviously make any difference no i i just you know on your phone how how pictures pop up of past memories sometimes and it had some of your goonie bird green stuff oh i know i've got that book and that was just amazing what you could do how old were you she was nine years old fourth grade fourth grade yes
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
The memorization of the whole play you were in.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That goes way back.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
And you were so good. I'm sure I did, too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
You know, they drove up too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
What was going through your mind when you heard she made it into this theater? But not for all those. How many weeks did you rehearse? And you had to be in St. Louis for all that. And so that was really a commitment for you and for your mother. Mostly for my mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
It's a wonder we, any of us made it to adulthood the way car safety was. Do you remember lying up in the back window of the car? I do. You know, there was a shelf back there, you know, between, between the window and the, And we used to take turns riding up there. You could look out the back. That was true. That was a lot of fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Oh, yeah. And when we'd go on vacation, we always had a station wagon. We'd put the seats down, and we always slept. I mean, that was just typical. You know, you just slept. you know, with your sleeping bags back there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Well, yes, we did once.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah, you ask my daughters and they... They're traumatized. Think their life was about over. Yeah, it just sort of started sliding down. And no seatbelts, so. Well, it wouldn't have helped you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Oh, yeah. But that was at home.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That you put it on, you know. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't remember the grapefruit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
And I imagine it's the hospital that didn't allow it. What about while you're in labor, though?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That you still remember it is pretty amazing, too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't ever remember learning the science behind anything I tried.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Correct.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Once they wheeled you away from the labor room and took you to the delivery room.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Is that from modesty? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I love shopping with you guys, too. I don't feel like I'm as old as my grandma was when she was like 65 or something.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
You weren't grandma? My mother had a junior college degree, at least. Do you feel like... And then the war broke out, and that changed everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Just the beginning of the feminist movement. A movement of the feminist movement.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
But I mean, certainly the opportunities for women have multiplied tremendously since I was a young woman. Yeah, definitely. And pay and just... Opportunities. Yeah, opportunities. I mean, you know, you just had so many more... Well, I don't know what I'm saying here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
If you didn't want to go to college, then maybe you could be a secretary. That was like three paths.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I never knew what I wanted to do. I still don't know what I wanted to do. But I always loved school, and I loved learning, and it just fell in like that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That's me, yeah. Yeah, that's not like them at all. No, I did writing. She did writing. I published some things and have done some things in different areas. And I like it all. But is there any one thing I should have done and really –
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That's why I don't look. And most of it isn't true. I know. Most of it, you know, it's just somebody's blanching out for whatever reason. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That's terrible to ask me that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
No. I never post anything. Anybody that knows me thinks I don't like them or something, because I don't know why, but I am so opposite of you guys in some respects, and that's one of them. Private. I'm very private, yeah. Yes. And don't put anything on, so.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't think so. No, people didn't. I don't think so. It was a guessing game. But I was totally out as well.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
For Lori. Wow. So there was a switch that happened? Well, then I barely made it to the hospital. So not only was I not out, I wasn't there early enough to get anything different. But no, it was very typical to give you drugs that you weren't...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I was at the store at the time. And I remember, too, that my son-in-law is a pilot. And he was going to be in New York at that time. And that was a double scare. And I ended up calling him. Probably I shouldn't have while he was on the plane. But I was just so worried. And he was okay, of course. But, yeah, it was a terrible time. It was horrible. Terrible time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah, it would have been like... 63, was it? Maybe 64, 63, 64. Figure about our age. I remember, yeah, I was in the... I was a student. I was in high school, and I was in the locker room after PE class. I mean, you know, to say remember where you were, I remember where my locker was and where I was standing, you know, when it came across the PA system.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
You know, except that it made me feel bad that I should be old enough to be a great grandmother. I was wondering if there was that in there, too. But, you know, it just made me think everybody's waiting. Not everybody, obviously. So many people are waiting to have children until they're in their 30s or whatever. And, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
protein to so you're satisfied make sure you love that that's good i think that's you always say that too yeah i i believe that too and keep moving and just keep keep active what was your first job i'll go first full-time job just job no any job first paying job yeah first job i worked at at pennies over christmas time oh cute
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Five or six years ago when we first moved, but yeah, it wasn't me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Well, that goes back to my relatives in northern Minnesota. Okay. So it goes back to... In fact, we went... For a night or so on our honeymoon up to Sand Lake in Minnesota. And my grandmother up there, my step-grandmother, taught me to make pasties on our honeymoon.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Because that's what brides do. That's what the women do. You learn to cook on your honeymoon. It's a Cornish... The miners used to take it in their lunches when they were, you know... And it's a... It's like every culture has some kind of thing in dough. In Mexican, it's like empanada. Empanada or whatever. And it's just, you know, with beef and potatoes and carrots and rutabaga.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah. And... We should make those again. We should.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Yeah, cover it. And, you know, different places in Michigan and all, you can still, they are still prominent, maybe in northern Minnesota, although, I mean, you can go in, you know, they'll have pasty stands and all. Well, even where we went to college, I was like, Matt, we need to go here. They have pasties.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Like, only Grandpa made those. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of work to make them. Yeah. And we used to make them at Christmas when you guys would come off or whatever. But, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
A lot of advice. My 25 year old self. I would have had a child by that time. I guess, you know, just don't sweat the small stuff and just enjoy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I think just the computerized anything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I remember getting up and getting the shower. Yeah. That was a big deal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
That's true. But they took the baby away at night when you were sleeping and took your baby to the nursery so you could get some sleep.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
Sure. I've never spanked a student. I wouldn't. But back then, it was acceptable, but it was the principal that would do it. Interesting. With a witness, as I recall. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't know if we met. I don't know. It wasn't that serious. I don't think we met then. I'm not sure. I don't remember. Sorry, I don't remember at least if we did.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't remember our first meeting at all.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I should tell you I remember that time well, but I don't remember it at all.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I don't know. Seems like we did it together. I don't remember one of us doing all of it or a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I think we pretty well did that, except for the rehearsal dinner then was always the... And the honeymoon, right? There were rules that, you know, you could kind of halfway follow at least. You didn't have to think too hard about things, so...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
I had those plastic... It wasn't a real safety car seat. It was just a... a seat that you could put a seat belt around and carry around everywhere.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Becoming a great grandmother, 1960s fad diets & 'the burning of the bras' w/ my Grandmas
They just were very selective people. Okay. And, you know, they weren't going to go out just to go out. They wanted to make sure they really liked the person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Jed and Katie.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
And I think...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Nice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Oh, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
That's Jim Carrey.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Jinger Duggar: Family Secrets, People Pleasing & Fleeing Stalkers
Totally.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
that like may not be like she has this narrative that's really strong for her i'm like i'm wondering if you could like crack it open a little bit so much of their life is set apart from each other it sounds like they're not doing anything together and they need to just try to be friends again i mean look it sounds like they're probably at this point where they don't even want to work on the relationship but i'm
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I would beg them, hey, you guys have been together for so long. Can you maybe give a week of trying to have intentional time? Do something together. Go on a walk. Go see a movie. Just even be in the same room as each other. Try to play a card game. I mean, I've been amazed at how many...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
you know, good times we've had come out of just playing cards together because we're just doing something together in the moment, being fully present. It's so light. And that's why we would joke about how if we were ever arguing, we would just play a game of cards because it kind of forces you to be amongst one another without division.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Any marriage, at a certain point, you're going to find resentment for your partner. I think that just happens in marriage, period.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
No way. Let me go grab a beverage. And while I'm grabbing that beverage, can you start reading the comments?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Oh, actually, do they have kids? They don't have kids.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It doesn't sound like they have kids, so if they really did want to split, it wouldn't be... Oh, get this one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
What's the best thing I can do for myself and my three kids?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Married with three kids. $130,000 of debt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
When you look at the stats of how many people that get divorced end up getting divorced again, it's staggering. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
You're going from being married to a human to another human. We all F up. We all screw up.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah, this is where I would recommend people to have friends that are other couples. I love having friends that are couples because it puts everything into perspective. Any single little thing that could, you know, maybe bother you at any point in your relationship, you talk to another couple and you recognize the similarities.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
People make fun of Dave Ramsey's money plan with like the envelopes and the cash and using cash to pay for everything. I feel like people like Dave Ramsey. Well, people will make fun of it. And it's like, this is the reason why that exists, because people will spend money and not even realize how much money they're spending until you've maxed out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Honestly, you're going to end up single. You're going to end up single. The Reddit, if you want someone to tell you to split up with your person, just go to Reddit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
What's cool is we're going to put links to all these in the description so people can go and actually look at the comments themselves if they want to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But these people are all, I mean, these are from like Mr. Jingles and Tacos and Sushi. Like all these names are so random.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I love you, Abby. I love your taste.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Okay, this next one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Thank you to Haya for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise filled with five grams of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy junk growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya was created. The pediatrician approved. super-powered chewable vitamin.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Formulated with the help of nutritional experts, Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veggies, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Oh, gosh. Yeah. Not common in Chicago, obviously. Even though he was the opposite of what I usually want, I gave it a shot and the rest is history. This is a 26-year-old female and a 25-year-old male. He's everything I've ever wanted in a partner. Both our families get along great and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
one of the top comments underneath the thread. First step, get your own account and immediately have your salary routed there. You will now be paying all bills that involve the household and children. He needs to figure out how he plans to fix this mess he has created. Maybe a second job or a different job paying more. He needs to come clean and give you the full picture.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Growing up in the inner city Chicago, my family, especially my dad, rarely spoke nicely about white people. For that reason, I waited a while to break the rules to my family. After a year of dating, we decided to move in together. I ended up sitting down with my mom and told her about him. She was very hesitant at first, but once she met him, all her worries disappeared, and now she loves him.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He's always over at her house fixing stuff, lol. My father, who separated from my mom when I was 16, is a different story though. About a year and a half ago, my dad showed up unannounced at my mom's house. while my fiance was there changing the oil in my mom's car. My dad asked who he was and introduced them to each other. Needless to say, he was really upset and refused to shake his hand.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He ended up cussing my mom out for allowing it and hopped in his car and sped away. I tried to call him for a week, but he refused to answer. Turned out he blocked me on Facebook and posted hurtful things about me, my mom, and my redneck cracker. Am I allowed to say that on the internet? Boyfriend. Since then, we have not spoken."
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Fast forward to now, we recently found out that my fiance is inheriting his grandpa's beautiful home and ranch property down in Oklahoma. With us getting married in June and plans to start a family, I informed my family we will be moving soon.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Wait, wait, wait. She's against tying her tubes, but he has to get his tubes tied?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Word got around to my dad and he reached out to me through Facebook last week and said he's sorry for everything and wants to meet me and my fiance before we make the move. I told him I would think about it. My fiance said he's open to it, which I figured because he forgave my dad a while ago. But it's hard for me to forget the awful things that he said about us and my mother.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
With plans to have children soon, I realize I will have to decide on whether their grandfather will be involved in their lives or not. I'm really torn. Do I accept his apology and meet with him or choose to continue to ignore him? Have any of you ever chose to cut a close family member off from your life? If so, did you regret it down the road?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
See, that's where I'm kind of confused.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I'm rereading this right now and it looks like she introduced her fiance to her dad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This top comment is really interesting. It says, did you ever have a relationship with your father worth saving? He didn't know about your boyfriend until well after your mother did and seems pretty happy dipping in and out of your life. Is he actually a good or decent person or is it just vague family ties? Honestly, they make a really good point.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But at the same time with her dad apologizing, I feel like you need to accept the apology. I think you need to have boundaries though. I don't think you just willy nilly, you know, yes, you're all the way back in my life. That's amazing that he apologized. It doesn't, you know, take away from the bad things he did.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Statements, transactions, balances for all of these accounts. Are you on all of these credit cards? I don't know if there's coming back from this. Financial infidelity would be a deal breaker for many otherwise rock solid relationships. This is a giant hole that may be hard to recover from, but it can be done.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But I think if you do have a family member who eventually, you know, when you have children would be a grandpa, I think you do want to have them involved in some way. But I think with boundaries, that's what it seems like needs to happen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He seems like he totally because I even read something in there about her fiance forgiving her dad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It says he forgave my dad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
OK, this is really interesting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It was a really good response. Honestly, she has a point. Financial infidelity is a thing. If someone is going to-
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
She's against tying her tubes, but he has to get his tubes tied?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Okay, okay. I'd like to hear it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Let me say the first thing. I know what you're going to say is getting this nip is way less invasive than the tubes tied.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I will say this, though. Getting a freaking uterus removal, whatever that's called.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Isn't that called a hysterectomy?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I'm sounding so dumb right now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
oh do you see what i'm saying i do see what you're saying so if you can't like be like you can't even try to make it equal because we're not dealing with we're dealing with apples and oranges here and this is why we need male birth control other than condoms i agree okay well actually it does it blows my mind that still doesn't exist we're going to mars people we're about to go to freaking mars and we still don't have katie perry went to the moon and we can't i don't have male why has katie perry gone to the moon before we have male birth control that doesn't make sense you know what i think it's great
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
The thing is, though, if they're not married, you can't ask your man to get a snake.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It is not okay outside of marriage, in my opinion, to request that your person get a permanent change to their body.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But it doesn't always work. So once you get a vasectomy, you can reverse it, but there's like a significant chance that it actually doesn't work when you reverse it, which is actually kind of scary.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
No way. Why do you know that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This is the tea of the day, people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He's 21. He can't be getting a vasectomy at 21.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Do not get a vasectomy at 21.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Look, if you're 30 years old, you have a fully developed prefrontal cortex and you're like, I don't want to have children. Okay, sure. Get a vasectomy at 30. Do not do it at the 21. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're so young. Too young.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Here's the thing. Wear condoms. Sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah. And honestly, the comment section is agreeing with us. One of the top comments is you're 21 years old. Things change. Don't make any decisions that could affect your whole life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
and then the comment below that from flowered violin is i agree with this some people know at 21 they don't even want kids and that never changes some people at 21 don't ever want kids but then they change their minds exactly some people at 21 want kids but then change their mind later and don't what we want in our 30s is often different from what we want in our 20s because we become different people and i think i completely agree with that he might be missing did she ever even asked him to get a vasectomy
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This is actually so funny. Can you read this one, but then you can just use a replacement word instead of saying the actual word that's in the title?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I will say this, though. I want to know what her spending is. If they did an audit of their finances and they look at how much he's spending and how much she's spending. Who knows? Maybe he's the one spending a lot or maybe she's the one. We don't have a clear clue of what's happening here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
That's really weird that he won't admit that he said it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It is pretty hot when you say my name though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah. And the thing with being right in a relationship is if you are always focused on that, you lose.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
There's no winning in a relationship. The relationship wins when you put that over being right.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
You're like, what the freaking heck?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah, why would you not address it in the moment?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Everybody has this complex online where they are perfect. They are... You're so right. They can do no wrong.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
And everybody else is awful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
You know? Nobody has any sort of freaking foot in reality. They just... Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But they definitely need to cut back.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Take a drink of a glass of reality, people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
They need to have a money conversation. We interviewed Ramith a couple months ago.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah. So it's like there happened. Yeah. I can relate to that. When you feel like you're going crazy. It's like how this clearly happened.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
And that's when you have to say, you know what? This relationship is more important than being right.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Okay, this is really interesting. Okay, so this is from a female who's 23 and her boyfriend that's 24. My boyfriend slept at a girl's house and ignored me for 20 hours. Any advice? In his defense, she's just a friend. No!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I've heard this story before.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
But wait. She has a boyfriend.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
We're actually sweating. Your reaction is so strong. His response was, she's just a friend. She has a boyfriend. There were other guys there too. I wasn't doing anything, so I didn't think I needed to text you. Okay. Now, from my point of view, three weeks ago, he disappeared all night and didn't reach out until noon the following day. I asked his sister if he had come home and she said no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He had everyone worried about him. Turns out he had just gotten too drunk and fell asleep at a friend's house. He promised me he would not do this again, and if he did, he would keep me informed so I did not have to worry. This morning, I had my police entrance exam and was incredibly nervous about it. I was hoping I would get good luck or something from my partner.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Instead, he said he would be back around one, and then change it to two. And then when 3 a.m. rolled around, I was still awake and called him asking where he was and why he would stay out so late when he knew I had an exam the next morning. Normally it wouldn't matter, but he has to crawl through my window now because he lost the only key to my building within a couple hours of having it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He then told me he would be staying at Josh's friend's house and that he would see me later. I don't hear from him the entire day despite having tried to call him. Nuh-uh. How did your test go? Hey, still at Josh's friend's house? I'll be back around blank. Radio silence for 20 consecutive hours. He finally calls at 11 p.m. to let me know he's pulling up to my apartment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I asked him who Josh's friend was and he told me it was Sarah, but he didn't want to tell me that because it would sound weird. For background, just three weeks ago, he told me Sarah was a huge flirt and that she hits on everyone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
now sarah has a boyfriend so he doesn't see an issue there were other people there but i don't think this makes it better considering he broke the promise he made me ignored me for 20 hours until he needed to use my bed and intentionally concealed sarah's identity because he thought it would sound weird now i am being irrational because they didn't do anything I didn't think he cheated.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I was upset that he broke his promise, ignored me, and did something he presumably knew was disrespectful to the relationship. Otherwise, he would have just been open and honest about where he was going. What am I supposed to do with this one? Okay. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah. That's not good. That's not looking good, buddy. You can't pull that crap.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
To go 20 hours is insane.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Honestly, that's a fair point. I do think that women mature faster than men.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I know people will jump to conclusions about him cheating, but honestly, my mind is just going straight to how unbelievably inconsiderate he was being towards you. Total lack of thought or care about an event that was important to you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Why would you say that as a man? Welcome back to Unplanned. We are your hosts, Matt and Abby. And today we are reading relationship stories from Reddit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Coming in and waking you up, not bothering to remember to do the bare minimum to be supportive. That alone is enough reason to leave. Also, he lost your key. I think this person said it perfectly. That was from Cali Baby with two Ys at the end. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
reddit's cracking me up dude like all these all these reddit people these are bringing up really good juicy points this is some juice if you guys can't tell we're really having fun doing this so i hope you guys enjoy this episode and if you haven't liked it or commented or something do that please if you want us to do this again um because this is actually really fun i like doing this feels like we're just hanging out with the gals you know we're just having some gal this does feel like my normal girl talk
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This is what you and your friends talk about?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Do you know what me and my friends talk about when we get together?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
We're like, have you guys heard about this new investment opportunity?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Just scroll and then you click on a thread that looks interesting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Why would you say that as a man? Why would you ever tell a woman that she's the third prettiest? Not even like, why? That is so dumb. Sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I love how you just said sheet right there. Sheet. Did like not say the word.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This dude sounds like a narcissist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
All right, let's hear it, baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Again, this is a boyfriend.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This is a boyfriend, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
They're only going to go down from here. This would be one thing, right? If like... You've been together for freaking a long time. And I don't know. Like, it just, it bothers me that he's telling her to change her appearance.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
You gotta tell them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah. It sounds like though he's never met her family.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I think this is one of those situations where you just be completely honest and you say, look... I was dumb and naive and this is so stupid that I did this. I really wanted you to like me and I acted like my family had more money.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Not a big deal at all. And I'm guessing people are agreeing with us in the comments.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
is something that she just wanted to feel like she fit in or was normal or like you know but if he ends the relationship because she lied she deserves it no that's just kidding i mean it just means that he didn't feel romantically inclined yeah like that's just yeah i don't think this is this is not like a make or break this isn't a make or break thing oh boyfriend 39 doesn't want babies oh crap
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
So this man is 39 years old, the female is 33 years old. I'm 33 years old, my boyfriend who's 39, and I've been together for a year and a half now. He has two beautiful girls, 16 and 13, to a previous relationship. I get along with their mother and the girls really well. Very much a loving, extending family unit. However, I have no children of my own.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I am now leaning strongly towards wanting a baby to the point of starting to resent the girl's mother because she got there first, which is unfair of me to think. My boyfriend has expressed that he is content with his life. He is happy. He has older kids now. He enjoys his free time and enjoys me playing stepmom, which let's face it, gives him more free time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I thought it was okay to not have children, but I think I'm now at a point where I would like to." I don't have many healthy, fertile years, so I again approached this with my boyfriend. The response was as expected. He doesn't want to do it again. He would do it if he knew it's what I wanted, but in the same breath, he said he would resent me for it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
i think it would be the end so i don't know what to do or how to feel about that it feels incomplete and the fact that he has children with another woman and we are all so close it's a constant reminder that he doesn't want that with me has anyone had a similar experience advice would be appreciated as i feel i may need to choose between the relationship and my own needs
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
it's also interesting too they're grown she she's 33 he's 39 they are very much established in their ways and it's not like they're young and newly married you know they they really do understand their wants and needs and i don't see her desire to want to have kids and his desire to not want to have kids changing which makes this extremely complicated and the people in the comment section are feeling the exact same way i
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
can see exactly he doesn't want more kids too because it'll affect his relationship with his current children that are already 16 and 13 yes he's already had his kids it would be hard as a kid to see your dad be a parent to a baby again like to start over and he probably really likes his relationship with his girlfriend he probably has thought about you know i feel for him too it seems like well i mean yeah they've been together a year and a half so
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
The top comment is he is not wrong for being done having babies. You are not wrong for wanting babies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Do you really want them with someone who has to be pressured into it though? If having your own children is a priority for you, this relationship is not going to work.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
And that's so true. I mean, it's a battle though because if they really want to be together... They're going to have to find some sort of compromise. So somebody has to compromise. And that's like, it's either you, one person compromises and you stay in the relationship or you break it up. And that is tough.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
In the next few years, you have to understand this guy's almost 40. Like if he has another kid right now, he's going to be like 60 years old. Basically, when this kid's leaving the house, like this is a big decision for him, too. So you can't blame him. He just he just feels like he's done.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
That's hard, too, because she isn't super young. It's not like.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It's not like you have your whole life ahead of you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah, let's go ahead and end the relationship when you're that young and you know you want kids. Yeah, don't lock yourself into something at a young age when you have your entire life ahead of you. But once you're 33 and you're more established and it seems like they really do like each other, that...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
This is another response from Bright Pink Zebra. The only thing I would add to this is that you need to rethink how you view it. It's not that your boyfriend doesn't want your babies. It's that he doesn't want more babies, period. Please don't view it in the sense of he had kids with someone else, but won't have them with me. He's simply at a point in his life where he doesn't want another kid.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
That is very fair. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a person being content with where they're at. It is just unfortunate that in life, oftentimes people have to make compromises and one person has to make a decision that isn't ideal for them. You guys let us know what you think in the comments. Also, let us know if you enjoyed this episode. We had a lot of fun doing this.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
And yeah, maybe one time we could bring on guests to do this too with us. That'd be kind of fun if our friends put their input in. I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Yeah, that would be, oh my gosh, that'd be a blast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
All right. Thank you, everybody. And we'll see you in the next episode. Peace, dudes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It sounds like to me, there could be two, one of two things going on here. Either her best friend, this guy is trying to like manipulate her life and like keep other people out of it. Or this guy truly is looking out for the boyfriend who wrote this. What are you thinking?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
We got this idea from Smosh, by the way. So if you're about to comment like, you guys are copying Smosh, we are copying Smosh. We downloaded Reddit just for this. Like literally.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
It's weird that he went to the boyfriend. Why did he not go to his friend?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Why is he going behind her back to talk to the boyfriend?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
that just seems like someone that just wants to stir up some drama and i just feel like that's never really a good i like your take i think you're onto it i think he's the problem that's bull honky i think it's bull i like it i love how you just immediately jump to that conclusion really yes i mean it might not be in the popular opinion how decisive you are i usually just i'm like oh i can't make up my mind what's
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
Okay, so the first one we have is, I found out my spouse was hiding a huge debt. This is a 39-year-old female who's married to a 37-year-old male. We've been married for 10 years and together 12. The other day I watched on our video camera as my husband was served papers for a lawsuit. He told me it was for a loan he had received and things have just spiraled since then.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I don't know what that is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I've always trusted him to do the finances. I make a low six figures and turn all of my money over to him to pay the bills. He also makes good money, but we struggled during COVID with job loss and he had to take a job paying very little. He now makes the same as I do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
I don't either. I think the first thing I think of is- That's a lot right there. I think most marriages end when people decide they don't want to put in the work anymore.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
That's truly what it is. Because a lot of people, nobody gets married thinking that they're going to get divorced one day. Nobody does. Why would you have a big celebration, spend all this money? And yet there's so many that do end in divorce. It sounds like they've been through a lot of hard things. I mean, with her sickness, that must have been awful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
With him losing his best friend to suicide, that must have been awful. So that sucks. Um, but I hate that they haven't been able to find a way to, you know, be there for one other, one another. My first question would be, have they tried therapy together? It sounds like they haven't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
So she's making in the low six figures.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
She has contempt for her husband.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
That's the number one predictor of divorce is contempt. Even Dr. Gottman's Institute proved that. It's like when you see contempt in a relationship at that level, you're usually headed for divorce.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Relationship dilemmas that make you think
He's making good money, but wait for this. I found out we are $130,000 in debt. I had no idea. I knew we had to put a few things on credit cards, but I didn't know we had 12 maxed out cards. I don't even know what all this money was spent on. I feel so absurdly betrayed. I'm scared that we will never recover from this and I can't trust him anymore.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Yeah, you've had so many hungry root meals.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Remember that one time you were like, please, please, please. I want to go out for lunch. I was like, let me make it for you. And I had steak quesadillas made for you in literally 10 minutes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Yes, they're whole ingredients. Okay. Das ist eigentlich eines der größten Vorteile von Hungry Root, dass sie keinen hohen Fruchtstoff-Korn-Serum haben, Artifizierte Zwiebeln oder Preservatoren in jedem ihrer Füße. Das ist unglaublich. Sie haben auch top-qualitätsgesetzte Fleisch und Seafood, ohne Hormone und Antibiotika. Sie können auch Snacks bekommen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Sie haben so viele leckere, nützliche Snacks gehabt. Also... You're going to love Hungry Root as much as I do. Take advantage of this exclusive offer. For a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to HungryRoot.com slash unplanned and use code unplanned. That's HungryRoot.com slash unplanned, code unplanned.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. HungryRoot.com slash unplanned, code unplanned.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich bin nicht sehr experimentiert. Aber wenn ich etwas gefunden habe, das ich liebte, habe ich gesagt, das wird das, was ich immer hören werde.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
He likes EDM. So I'm like, I need you to have a vibe that's a little bit more mellow right now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Wir haben deine Songs für unsere Gäste in unserer Geburt und aus unserer Geburt gespielt. Oh, komm schon. Du erinnerst dich überhaupt an das?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Thank you to Orgain for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Which is weird, Matt, because you like peas. But I love peas.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Like Matt said, we love their chocolate one. It tastes really good. They're great for after workout. It's very, very simple to just throw in a shaker bottle, mix it with some almond milk, some water, whatever you mix it with.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
And are you a busy person? Because we are too. That's why Orgain is simple. Orgain is made so you can literally just add water and go. No more time consuming prep to get you the nutrients you need. Oh mein Gott.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Aber Oprah, wo bist du? Wir haben uns einmal zu Oprah eingeladen. Warum hat A.I. nur lachen? Er hat gesagt, sie würden zu Oprahs Haus gehen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Danke, Haya, für das Sponsorieren dieser Episode. Wenn du ein Kind bist, das plötzlich ein Pickierer wird, bist du nicht allein. Und wir haben es mehr und mehr gesehen. Wir waren in einem rough patch. Aber es ist wirklich schön, weil wenn du auch müde bist, deine Kinder zu kämpfen, um ihre Beeren zu essen. Die Beeren?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Es ist ziemlich süß. Es ist wirklich süß. So, we've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best-selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim the deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash unplanned. This deal is not available on their regular website.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h dot com slash unplanned and get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
It gave me chills. Oh, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I just start listening to everyone, I'm like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich weiß, du hast viele gute Fragen. Ich bin ein Konsument.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
War das dein erstes Baby?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Das müsste alle entdeckt werden. Ist es auf dem Black Market? Ja, ich weiß es nicht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich dachte, ich gehe nicht mehr.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Nimm es selbst und ich erzähle es dir. Ich weiß nicht, was ich jetzt tun soll.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Neither. No, look at the bottom. Oh, paintbrush. No, you're looking for a paintbrush in here. It's a hidden object mystery game, you guys.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
It's set in the 1920s.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Honestly, get your husband these games, because if they have husband vision, they will learn to find things better. Du hast den Rest dieses Outreads, um einen von diesen Sachen zu finden.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Wie gesagt, es ist ein Hidden Object Mystery Game. Es wurde im Jahr 1920 gespielt. Und im Grunde folgt die Geschichte von June Parker. Ich habe die Beeren. Ich habe die Beeren. Es ist die Reise, um den Mord ihrer Schwester zu lösen und ihre Familienminiskirche zu entdecken. Ihr wisst, dass ich ein gutes Mysterium liebe, wenn es um Bücher geht, sogar nur echte Krimine, Filme. Ich liebe es alles.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Und also... I got all three of them. I'm so happy for you, Matt. This game is also free to download. It's a mobile game. It's really...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
You can customize, remodel and fix your mansion in Garden Island. You progress through the story and discover new chapters and can also take part in events to earn additional in-game prizes. There's so many things going on and it's a beautiful game to look at. Lots of colors and details going on. I enjoy playing a game to just turn my brain off. Social media like... Das war's für heute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Bis zum nächsten Mal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
No, I'm just fascinated. I'm sitting here wondering, like, any time during, like... in deinem Leben, in deiner Beziehung, war es jemand in deiner Gruppe, in deiner Gemeinschaft, der dir schlechte Tipps gegeben hat?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I wish I could read your journal. Because I feel like when you were saying that you wrote those lyrics, you're like, this should be a journal thing. I'm like, I feel like our journals probably look a little different. Yours is probably like artistic, deep, thoughtful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Wir werden in einem Museum irgendwo sein. Nein, ich glaube, meine ist scharf. Ich bin zu Trader Joes mit den Kindern gegangen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Das war scharf.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Matchhead ist sehr unik.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ja, los geht's.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Hyper Matt is fun, but I feel like certain times of the day. Because other times we need sleepy Matt. I like thoughtful Matt, but sometimes he's way too deep for me and I just can't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
He's like, when do you feel the most alive? I'm like curling my hair. I'm like, babe. I don't know, man.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
No idea. No, I like it when we're like bro-ing out. You know what I mean?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ihr seid so fest.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Er ist extrem.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich habe das immer im Kopf. Ist das ich, oder weil ich Matt Howard balance? Das ist eine tolle Frage. Ich glaube, ich war immer so.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Sie hat mich mit dem Computer für Weihnachten verletzt, also ist mein Schlafzeitpunkt später weg.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Manchmal ist es schön, wenn dein Mann beschäftigt ist, denn ich fühle mich so groß. Alle Kinder sind schlau, er hat eine Aktivität. Wie wäre es, wenn es nur ich wäre? Ich habe es mir eigentlich gesagt, ich bin sehr selten alleine. Ja, aber heute Abend bist du mit Leuten zusammen und ich werde die Kinder in den Bett legen und ich werde sagen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I'm gonna read my book by myself. It's crazy. I'm reading a couple books. Tell me, tell me, tell me. I'm reading a book called Hello Stranger. It's just like a slight romantic book.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I'm only reading three books. Okay. I can't say any of them are embarrassing. Hello Stranger. But I mean, it's just like a little rom-com.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
No, you read a book with all your... Oh, sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I heard that it was kind of like creepy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Listen. I think it's like Horny Teenagers. It is Horny Teenagers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Yeah, literally.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
When Matt went to bed at the same time as me, I would read out loud to him. I'm so sorry, that's really crazy. I don't read books like this all the time, Matt. He's like, what's going on in your Kindle right now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich lese, das ist sehr uncharakteristisch für mich, aber er war eigentlich auf unserem Podcast. Rameeths Buch. Es geht um finanzielle Gespräche mit deiner Schwester. Oh, das ist cool. Ich spreche nicht wirklich über Geld.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Wir haben so viel Geld gespart letzten Monat und sie ist so... Wie viel Geld haben wir gespart?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
And I'm like, we're never eating out again. I will cook at home. We will shop at home. Chicken breast and rice only. And he's like, don't freak out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Das ist, wie wir unser Haus ausbauen. In meinem Herzen. Wer ist der spinnende?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
But when it comes to the kids... I was like, Zara had a sale.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
When it comes to the kids, are you the spendy one?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
That's for me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
They literally opened it on Christmas morning and Matt's like, I think we should return them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
You're like, what about the spreadsheet?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Right now, stop what you're doing, because this episode is over, and go stream The War Is Over. When the war is over, yeah. When the war is over by Johnny Swim, you guys. The album is, seriously, I would say it's like, you're not gonna have heard something like this. Like, it's very, very creative. You can definitely tell that
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
fast vor jeder Solo-Episode. Wir haben gestern Abend gefilmt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Wir haben versucht, ein Video zu filmen. Oh, ja, ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
I see your mouth moving, but it's not commuting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Ich bin bereit. Ich bin bereit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Nein. Das ist keine menschliche Interaktion. Ich weiß. Manchmal denke ich, dass ich mich jetzt aufhören werde.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Du kannst mich lehnen, wenn wir sitzen. Das schreckt mich eigentlich, wenn unser Sohn... Es wird wahrscheinlich nicht zu lang sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Was wird passieren? Er ist 5'3", 10 Jahre alt. Oh mein Gott.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
Aber ich gewinne. Danke zu Hungry Root für die Sponsorierung dieses Videos. Ich habe ein Ziel für 2025, das ich fühle, dass du aktiv gegen mich arbeitest. Was ist es? Ich esse mehr zu Hause. Oh, ja. Ich gehe viel essen. And the reason I want to eat at home is because I have a health goal of not eating as many processed foods. And also prioritizing protein. And that's why Hungry Root is awesome.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
They wrote our wedding song: The Johnnyswim interview
It's like having your own personal shopper and nutritionist all wrapped into one. They take care of the weekly grocery shopping, recommending healthy groceries and meals tailored to your taste, nutrition preferences and health goals. And you guys get this. Hungry Roots recipes can all be made in just 15 minutes or less.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
That's cute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
They go hard. Somebody brought that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
He put Christmas lights inside it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
That's sad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
One cookie and milk.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
It is crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
We wash the sheets, you know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
What do you mean?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
It wasn't used.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
And you get a thrill of saying, it was only $3. I don't say that. I didn't say that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
Only if they're nice. Only if they're nice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
Hey, you talk about yourself like that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering CONTROVERSIAL questions w/ my parents *Christmas edition*
Oh my God. Okay. Okay, stop. We're actually going to end the podcast right here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you guys want a girl?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah, we saw a Broadway show. It was like in and out situation, but there's just something about the hustle and bustle. Just feels official. Feels like this is a real thing we got going on.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We went to Utah with the Beastons.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you forget? You kind of tend to forget about things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Oh, nothing like IHOP either.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
They have one of those Dutch babies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
They do a good job of food in general, I'd say. We've always had really good food in Utah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
like block him that's so funny he's nice we need to invite him on the podcast no we need to get his life story i wonder if he likes my feet pictures because everyone keeps asking why my feet pop up on my instagram i really don't get that many creepy messages but he's like you're so beautiful and sexy he's been doing it since like 2020 are you serious every time your feet foot pulls up what does he say other than that is there like a gorgeous feet sexy feet
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I took a solo trip with Augie to Springfield for my friend's engagement. That was fun and actually pretty stressful. Augie was just a difficult baby and he was still very much baby at that point. He was like six months old. And I was just like, oh my goodness, trying to balance like everything and like exclusively pumping. And like I was sleeping in different places every night.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That was a good growth moment for me as a mom. I went to California with Two-Faced.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I mean, we didn't talk about what happened at the end of January, though. Lost my grandpa.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Not a good way to start the year.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I thought I was, and then... like reminders, you know, like you buying that polarized extra gum.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It just like sends me down like, it's like waves, you know, they always describe it like waves, like, oh, that felt like a big wave, you know, hitting me. But, and like the holidays, super hard. First Christmas without him and first new year, like start of the year off without him. Like, It's true. Like I never really understood what people meant about like, what do they call it?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Like anniversaries with grief or whatever. I never really understood that until now. And. It's like you start to wonder, you're like, why is this hurting so much more right now out of the blue? And then you find out like, oh, this was the day that we found out about his diagnosis. And like your body just kind of knows, I feel like, that grief or like those time markers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It's like things like that happen a lot. Or like sometimes, like Thanksgiving. Remember, Thanksgiving is really hard. Thanksgiving evening. So, yeah. I don't think I'll ever not miss him.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And then another guy was like, what's your favorite flavor? I was like, get wintergreen, get this one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah, I feel like ever since he stopped smoking, he always wanted things like cough drops, gum. He still wanted something like that. Something that happened in March was you shaved your head.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I literally got home and your friend was over and I was like, hi. And... You guys were, like, acting strange. But I was like, Matt's always weird, so I'm not gonna... It could be anything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Then, boom. You had no more hair.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Your hair looks amazing right now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I don't believe you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Well, April looks like it was a pretty standard month. Like we just went to the zoo and like hung out with friends. It was like a restful time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
What happened in May? Let's see.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
No, my friends are all like, you need to block it. And I'm like, for what reason?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That wasn't right after Matt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
yeah they couldn't keep them on what's up with that like spending a lot of money on little kids clothes it wasn't it was from amazon they were oh okay well that's fine but yeah little kids they just grow up so fast take i have now on laundry for toddlers is i'm not going to fight the stains oh yeah i'm just gonna let them happen yeah because otherwise that would literally be my life's job at this point poop stains you're gonna leave those in
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
If it's a stain, yeah, but usually poop, like, it'll clean off.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
But they're not really pooping through their clothes at this point. That would be very odd if that happened. Yeah. I'm talking about, like, candy cane. They got red candy cane all over their shirt, and I'm like, I'm gonna soak it, but, like, if it doesn't come off, I'm not gonna be fighting that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
They get dirty, though, man.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
See, I feel like that's a myth. Like, I feel like not anyone can just post their foot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Why did you fill in the chat GPT? Everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You look sad. Oh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Did you delete some of your songs?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Okay, here's my thing about people with foot fetishes, which I shouldn't be talking about on this podcast. But like, how... Why would you pay for that? Like people are freely putting their feet out. I wear sandals all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I knew you did.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Because people were asking me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And I also was like, no. And I tried to find them and they were gone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'm just pissed off.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
People are mean.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Here's the thing. You would be a million times madder if people were mean to me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You know what I mean? That's how I feel.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Um, cause I think people that feel the need to say me, people go through hard times and then aren't an asshole. So I just think that like you can, you can struggle, but to put that on other people, like you are still responsible for that no matter what your life was.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That's, that's all I'm going to say. Then June, we also went to Sedona with your family.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You know my core memory from that was your dad and Griffin popping the balloons on the cactus.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That was so cute. And that's where Griffin learned that cactuses mean owie owie owie.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And it was really cute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Um, I also had my soap and glory event, which made me feel like a real influencer because it was very, very like aesthetic, beautiful over the top. Really, really fun. I felt so spoiled. Um, too bad you couldn't cope, Matt. It was a girls only event. Um,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Oh, maybe to see me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Don't flatter yourself.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I blacked out. We also went on our anniversary trip at the very end of June because our five-year wedding anniversary was the beginning of July.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I love it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It's wild when you think about that. Yeah. A lot of people are just now getting married.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And we've been married for five and a half years. We have some history.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Together, yeah. We've celebrated the past nine birthdays of mine together. That is crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
In July, we spent the whole month of July in Nashville, which was fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Kind of lonely for me, actually.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah, I just like to see people every single day.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That's true. I feel like they want the unique stuff.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And in July is when we had Reese on the podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
She was like my highlight from this year, I would say.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
She is literally sunshine in human form. Like, just... Like, I feel like the word darling is just Reese.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
She is so, so genuine, sweet, kind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I feel like I have very regular feet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
that was really cool we also had sadie on in uh nashville which was really cool that must have been crazy for you because you grew up watching sadie well yeah i remember her on dancing with the stars but then i read her book i checked out the public library yeah original or live out loud or one of those yeah yeah
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
live out loud yeah live original um in august we had a birthday party yeah another birthday party two back-to-back birthday parties so fun i cannot believe that in august is when we had officially not a baby anymore
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I feel like you're actually cheating on me with ChatGPT. Are you comfortable with your children one day watching you talk about intimate topics?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We had a baby for two years straight, basically.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I don't think they want... Anyway, I got my hair done. And I tried to fix it today like they did in the salon. And Matt goes... You literally looked at him. I was like, what do you think, babe? You're like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
He's going to start playing soccer?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Every time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed with them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
In August, we also got to meet Shari, who I can say she's probably one of the kindest And strongest people. She was insane. She's an Olympic athlete.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And she was a burn with me the next day. I know. It felt so cool getting to bring an Olympic athlete to burn with me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
She's a beast. In September, we had a friend's wedding. Yeah. Which was fun. We went on a family vacation. October we moved, which was crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It's just hard to see each other, you know, because you're operating on completely different time zones in a way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
well honey they do that they do hair for a living you can't don't worry and i'm like oh so you don't like no it's okay you can tell i mean i'm honest with you i know i'm honest abe over here okay and here's the thing i don't think i'm i actually don't think you know what the nice thing is about honesty is when i flatter you and you
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
oh game changer we can relate on so much and we're free around the same times of the day because our kids aren't napping like it's it's really good having community is always always a necessity but i feel like especially when you have little ones your community is kind of like it has to be uniquely tailored to that stage of life more so than other stages
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Um, we also went to Disney the end of October and into November, which was a really, really sweet trip. That's like the first time I was like, wow, we have two toddlers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And like, all you started to feel like less baby and they're interacting more. December was crazy with my birthday and all the holidays, family visiting in and out like crazy. So many events and gatherings.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
it was really good for our marriage too. Like it was just like really fun to have that time in the car on the way there to connect. And they're just like really reflect and wind down, but then also like do something fun and make a new memory together. Like it was the perfect concoction to have like a bonding moment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I don't think that we would have. I really don't. But I like the dreaming. I like the way you think.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
water me all the time i'm not bsing you you know it's real every time i'm not just pulling that i'm not trying to just like you know you will never be just like like anytime you tell me that i look good i know that you're really thinking yeah oh i and i really mean it every day i really need every single day like today i shower matt is always somehow needing to shower at the same time or just be in the bathroom at the exact same time as i'm putting on my lotion and i asked chachmiti about that i was like no is there is there a benefit
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
So we asked you guys on Instagram some audience questions. What do you want to know from us for this year? Seems like a really big question that keeps coming up is, do you guys want a girl?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Why are you looking at me?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
No, it means like I wasn't bringing up a conversation. I was actually holding physical babies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It was nothing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I think that we've been actually like, we've been trying not to talk about it, but in general, like it say we weren't, we're not, we're like, we're pretty content with two right now. Like we might be done, but it's also hard to say that when we're so young and our kids are so young, but like in a hypothetical situation where we have more kids.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'm like, Matt, you would think that I would feel the pressure to have a girl since we have two of the same gender. We have two boys. But I'm also I don't feel that pressure at all. Like I know some people do and it's not a bad thing at all. It's probably very it is very, very normal. But for me, I'm like, I'm fine having three, four or five boys. Like I would be totally fine with that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
But I also feel on the flip side, like what a sweet new experience to have a baby girl and like see what she's like and how she's different and who she like. So, I mean, if we were to have another baby, I would actually say and I think this is coming from like a really honest part of my heart. I would be like 50 50. I'd be just as happy. Like I really would.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Until another year or so. Do you think we'll live in Arizona forever is what people want to know?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Okay. I just want to say yes. I mean, hey, you're my boss, though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'd be fully content to be in Arizona forever, but I think forever feels dramatic when we're 26 years old.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
But, um... yeah like it i think forever feels dramatic no matter what sense but i i definitely see arizona being home base for a long time so if abby changes her mind we'll shut up you act like you don't think you call the shots no i think we both do okay no yeah we both call the shots in this in this relationship
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You're acting so sus for being someone that's like, I know you're being honest right now, but like people are like, that doesn't feel real.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Matt, who's a dream guest on the podcast?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you think you would be starstruck?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
we're gonna have that talk with them one day i'm not ashamed i want to have a good open dialogue with our children and i think that's like just safer in general there's a guy that repeatedly dms me every time my foot is you have gorgeous feet sexy feet welcome back to the unplanned podcast and happy new year this is episode 100 can we just give it up
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I would agree, but I can still be like amazed by people, like their talents and accomplishments, but it's different from being like starstruck by like their very presence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Of course you freaking chat GPT'd that. Yeah, because I was like, I need to have- Were you feeling personal benefits that made you curious that this was a universal thing?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Gotcha. Sometimes I still get a little nervous. Will you ever go on tour?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You want to?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
For me, I'm just like, what the crap would we do?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah. I'm like, it would be so boring. I don't know. What do you want me to do out there?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I think maybe we don't have the setup for that to be like entertaining.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We're just really normal. Like just talking about our kids and life. But maybe. Hey, you never say never. Yeah. How do you keep a spark alive in your marriage is what our audience wants to know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I knew what you were thinking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
quality time is super super important for a marriage I think especially like as you're especially transitioning into parenthood but then throughout parenthood because you hear about so many people that are in a marriage and then as soon as the kids leave the house then it falls apart and you know it's something that we always say it's a muscle you gotta keep working it out and exercising it you're either getting growing closer together or growing further apart and
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You know, we're a normal couple, a normal married couple that needs to work that out and have quality time. And it's been really... beautiful and it's a blessing to be able to prioritize that, but it doesn't have to look extravagant. Like you put the kids to bed and then instead of just like turning on a show and zoning out, like maybe even just play a game together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You know, we read books together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Just like ask each other a deeper question or just like do something different to shake yourself out of a routine. Like there's so many things you can do. I'm not like, we're not always perfect about this either. Like, in fact, we,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Did you just have a loogie?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
So a couple people wrote in their favorite moments from the podcast. I feel like we just start with a heavy hitting one. Matt's Father's Day birthday saga. That was... That was a... That was a memorable moment from Unplanned Podcast 2024. Yeah. How would you rate that moment?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah, I wish I didn't know these things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And what an accomplishment that is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Mom, look at me. I'm on People Magazine complaining about my birthday being on Father's Day.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Okay, but what would you rate that one out of 10? You have to include the emotional trauma, that in there too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'm going to give that one a... I'm honestly going to give it 2 out of 10. Because it gets two stars back for being, it's kind of funny in hindsight.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Wow, I'm very flattered by that. But also, why did you feel the need to chat GPT everything?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'm not cut out for this. I'll dig my heels in. I don't think it's stupid. I don't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Well, maybe my perspective comes from not watching our clips, but yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Anyway, in general, I don't think there's anything wrong with a controversy, but I didn't watch the clip and maybe the clip made it look really bad. In which case, that's on us. So I guess we had that one coming. Another memorable moment from unplanned podcast. This is what Katie said. Someone named Katie. Thank you, Katie, for watching our podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I feel like you're actually cheating on me with chat GPT. Why is it a woman also?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Abby's speaking about postpartum and how hard breastfeeding is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It is. I feel very like honored when people say comments like that. But then also I'm like, I don't want to be a spokesperson for like negativity around motherhood because that's not at all how I feel about it. Like I absolutely love being a mom, but I just don't think it does anybody favors when you're a mom and you're experiencing hard times and you feel like you can't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
can't express that. And you feel like everybody, I think that's one of the main criticisms about social media is that it's only a highlight reel. It's only showing like,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
the good things and it's making it look like you're the only one can make people feel like they're the only one struggling with something and i feel like this podcast has been a really cool platform for me to open up about stuff like that without showing myself in the moment or our kids in that moment because that would be a violation of privacy in my mind but being a removed from the situation and being able to talk about it i'm like i've seen so many beautiful things come out of being vulnerable in that way that i'm like it was all worth it what that's just so funny
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Never work with your husband, I swear to God.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I was talking about something deep right there. See, this literally leads me to my next one. It says, when Matt, anytime Matt says something out of pocket and Abby screams, Matt. Oh my gosh. I feel like I normally say Matthew James.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you realize in the moment that it's an out there question?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You're like, I let my curiosity get the better of me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I don't watch our podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Wait, you didn't change that on your own?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Um, maybe that's why you're sitting there being like, I feel bad for the people that leave mean comments. And then I'm like, no, screw them. No excuses. Be nice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You know, I get that. But do you know what I'm saying? Like if anyone used their
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
What are you thinking of?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Well, dude, if your chat TVT got hacked, that would be a whole nother crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
No, I'm not saying it has to make you upset. And I'm not saying you have to react in any sort of way. But I'm just saying that... You're in a dangerous area if people are allowed to do things that are unacceptable just because they've had bad things happen to them in the past.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We can extend extra grace to people because they've had bad things happen, but it still doesn't make what they did all right.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And that's what I'm saying. Yeah. And there's, and it's still inexcusable no matter what, like it's inexcusable and some, and people can do inexcusable things and people can excuse them and be kind in response or turn the other cheek or anything like that. But I mean, I think it's just, it's be nice period. Be a nice person period in my mind. That's fair. And I think that is a universal thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Are you comfortable with your children one day watching you talk about intimate topics?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Like I'm not ashamed. Like, obviously I think there is appropriate time and place for any conversation, but I don't want my kids to think that I'm like, I don't know, above anything about, you know,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I want to have a good open dialogue with our children. And I think that's like just safer in general to just like be a safe place. And it's like, no topic is off limits, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Um, obviously there's an age there. Like if they were like six and watching our podcast, I'd be like, Hey, that's a conversation that we're going to have later. I don't know. I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
They also really, I don't think they'll have devices.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Are you still considering homeschooling?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah. I love the idea of like having them with me longer. That's kind of like, and I think that I would be a good homeschool mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I think that I went to school for it and I would love to be able to use it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Does this person seem less credible to you now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And like, I think that it'd be enjoyable for both of us. And if it's not a good fit, then I'm going into it with an open mind. All that to say.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Um, but yeah, that starts next year. Preschool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Like he would be going to preschool otherwise in the fall.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Yeah. It goes so fast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Who has been your favorite guest on the podcast and who do you want to interview again?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
People ask us that all the time. I'm like, oh, my gosh. It sounds so lame to just be like, I can't pick a favorite because there are so many I loved. And I'm like, but it's actually true.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Her battle with depression.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And this lady talking about us that she watched our podcast during her chemo.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That is something that is just... I have no other words. And it's so incredibly humbling. Yeah. And feel... very undeserving but also so so grateful and um it's been really really cool like i said like just like people being so kind and receptive to like our genuine authentic conversations and like just our life in general um
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you think we'll actually make it to another hundred?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I think so too. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I feel so grateful. I really do. I don't have any other words for it. And I feel like if you were to meet me in person by happenstance... we could make really good friends. If you like what you hear here, then I'm probably gonna like you in return and we could make a beautiful friendship.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Automatically connected, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I love that. I'm such a big advocate for community and like meaningful, authentic friendships. And I don't know. I think that that's just a beautiful thing about life and that we all are probably a little bit more lonely than you would think. So don't think that you're the only lonely person. And like maybe make that your new goal for this year to have to find more community.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I know that's such a broad thing, but you can make it very tangible.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Like, for me, I'm like, join a group fitness class. There's so many people there that have similar schedules to you, obviously. And like, you know, might be in the same stage of life. So many different things there. Or like, you know, get plugged in at a church. Go to a volunteer opportunity. Serve with people. Even just like... Go to the park.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Wow. Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
If there's other people with kids, other parents, be like, oh man, I love this park because my kids can burn out some energy and we can also get outside the house. They're like, yeah, me too. And I'm like, how old is your kid? Spring up a conversation. Next thing you know, you're grilling in your backyard together and the kids are in the sprinkler.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
There's so many tangible ways to make a broad goal like that happen and make it segmented and fragmented. I just want to encourage you in that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
What do you think would happen if your ChatGPT history got leaked?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And I say that ultimately just because I actually do view you guys as friends.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That was my connection point. Yeah. So thank you for being here. Thank you for being our friend. And letting us, you know, chat your ear off on your drive home from work or doing your laundry, whatever it may be. So go ahead, Matt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We have a lot of fun guests.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I literally have nothing to hide. Like when there's so many people, I know that there's people that are seriously concerned about their privacy online. Like I know people that are like, Oh my gosh, like Google is not safe because then your search history, blah, blah, all this stuff. I'm like, you're not going to find anything of value.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You're going to find simple, healthy crock pot dinner ideas, but you're not going to find any. I'm like, search away. I have literally, you're going to see a lot of heyday usage. My phone was connected to the car on the way here. And Matt and I were like talking, you know, trying to be productive in the car ride. And then all of a sudden you hear me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I wasn't bringing up a conversation. I was actually holding physical babies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I just need to go back frequently because there's a lot of things on timetables there. I can't let my wheat sit out. I got to replant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Got to worry about my chickens.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Well, I'm not playing it feeling like an actual farmer.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
There is a sense of accomplishment you get. I will agree with that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
All I'm just saying is that if anything got seriously hacked with my searches or anything, I don't think I'd be actually concerned at all.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
And you know what? Even the weird things I've Googled, it's because I read it in a book and I was trying to figure out what it was. Like I read Butcher Blackbird, the most crude, I don't know if crude's even the word.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
But just like overtly satchel.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
book. I had to Google stuff. I didn't know. I've never seen that word before in my life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I do think this entire year has been a really, really big year of growth for us in so many ways.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Like, in preparation for this episode, I, like, went back and looked at all of, like, our 2024, like, camera roll. I'm like, oh, my gosh. First of all, we did so much. But also just, like, looking back at the end of the year, I was like, I obviously look so different. But I just remember, like, more than anything, I feel so different. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You were like, we gained so many things this year, but we lost the boobs. There was a lot to be gained, but two things were lost.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You'd be the only one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Actually, no. Here's the thing I know is that I would have a big, I feel like I could pull a crowd of people that would be there cheering me on, but they would just hype me up and I'd be like, no, that wasn't good.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I'll be like, Abby Howard stand-up. Get your tickets here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
No, I would not be funny. Also, why do I feel like female comedians are probably one of the most criticized people?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
It's pretty messed up.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Side note, speaking of comedians, we should go see Nate Bargatze in Vegas. He's coming in January. Oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I want to go. Do you actually want to go?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Can you get him on this podcast?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Maybe. It would have had to be you because I washed my hair today, and I'm not doing that again.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
He's been on SNL like twice since then too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I want to go to that. That would be funny. Anyway, I did so, so much this year. Should we just kind of like start with a recap?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We rang in the new year in Montana.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I haven't snowboarded since having two children.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I went down blues.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That's pretty dope.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I got my veneers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You take it into the extreme.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
You want to know the one downside of me getting my teeth done?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I used to look identical to my brother and now we look a little less alike because we had matching teeth.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I got my hair done and everyone was like, I don't see a difference. Why did you waste your money? And I was like, I knew this was coming. It's just the internet for you. And it was always a man. It was a man?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you ever feel slightly like, man, Blake's a good looking dude?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Do you think Blake's a really good looking dude?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Okay. I'm a little sad that we used to have twinsy teeth and now mine are perfect and his aren't. So I'm just But that was a fun thing that I got done that will be here for a long time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Chubby cheeks, you can say it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I really just wanted little clones of you. I mean, I think they're perfect and adorable.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I still think you look more like your mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
We interviewed Kay and Tay on the podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That was... In January. In January.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
Wow, we did them twice last year.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That was our first time meeting them, so that was fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
They were like, I see no difference. And I'm like, of course you don't, sir.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
I would consider them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
There's a guy that repeatedly DMs me every time my foot is...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
In February.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
That actually reminded me, New York is magic.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Answering your HOTTEST questions for our 100th EPISODE
New York City is magic. That was so, like everyone's always like, ah, New York. I wouldn't want to live there. I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't want to live there either, but I want to visit a lot because it's so, there's just something about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Why I chose surrogacy w/ Rebecca Zamolo
That's what you thought last time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you want to tell everybody a little bit, like fill people in on how you got Clementine and the person that, I think the person that gave you Clementine found Clementine like on the side of the road in Joshua Tree, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So when people want to take a picture with you, how does that make you feel?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Isn't that annoying?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah, I could hear the roosters crow in the middle of the night.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We did, and it's funny because she mentions the roosters all the time. There's kids holding roosters.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Like, obviously, you used to not really like hearing dogs bark, but now you seem to be more okay with it. With roosters, are you still not a huge fan of their crowing?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
yeah then how does that like babies crying is annoying yes because we have two babies and so i didn't know if do you try not to be around babies crying because it might you know make you feel stressed if they're if they're crying really loudly yeah what do you do to help yourself listen to music and you know what sound to helps me to ignore a sound i don't like the dial-up modem sound
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
What does David think about that sound? Does he like that sound too?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Or yours is Hotmail?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Sorry, I brought up Hotmail and got us off subject. Abby was asking how to love on the spectrum.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, even before we started recording, you looked down at what you're holding in your hand and you counted them and realized you have 20. Yeah. Which is just like Ariel in the movie.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh gosh, I said this already last time and I completely forgot what it is. I'm going to say 40%.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Represent.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
No big deal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I love that you're saying that because I have a cousin that goes to a private school where they change the classrooms to allow kids to sit on a beanbag, sit on the floor, lay on their back, do whatever they wanted to do to learn. Asking with ADHD, I cannot sit at a chair all day. I'd like to do what my cousin does at his school where he can lay on his back on the floor if he wants.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so I really love that when they came back, The producers with love on the spectrum. I love that they just let Abby do what she wanted to do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I know Abby's taking a break right now. And yeah, we totally respect that. And I'm sure we'll talk more later about Love on the Spectrum, maybe a little bit about David. But for everybody listening right now who may know someone that has autism, or maybe it's a parent, maybe it's a mom, kind of in the same shoes that you were in when Abby was two and a half and she got diagnosed.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
The real Ariel?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
What would you tell that parent who just had a child diagnosed with autism and they are just trying to figure out what to do, how to operate with this new normal? What advice would you tell them?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
What? Yeah. Wait, she does the voice of the original Ariel.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Was she nice?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Was she pretty? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
If I were you, I would keep the super soaker on hand at all times. If anybody ever corrected my parenting when you're doing an amazing job, I would have been like, hey, super soaker, to your face.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Is it bad to say that in a way now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you guys like to pet each other?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But I guess his last name was Asperger, which is why people decided to get rid of the term because they didn't want to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
What do you typically do when you hang out?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Was there a lot of fear involved in that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And what's a song that you like? Part of Your World. Part of Your World!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But when you sing Part of Your World, did you dress up as Ariel for Halloween as a kid? Was that a big part of your life?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Was this like a private thing, or was it in front of people?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
No way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Did you ask David to dress as Sebastian?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh, that's cool. Does David like Ariel like you like Ariel?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
No way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
we were just in a restaurant it had an open patio outdoor and there's jody there's abby and they just started singing together oh what did you sing which which part of your world of course of course you did and i have i have some of my original songs too that's right i was looking at your instagram and i saw you've been releasing categories it's your latest release right yeah my latest release it's how my mind works that's so cool tell us a little bit about categories
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And what, I mean, for you, Ariel is one of your favorite movie characters. What is one of David's favorite movie characters? Mufasa. Mufasa.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Wait, no way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
He's a voice actor. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think you guys are honest with this headphone thing because with our second child, our babies would cry a lot in the night. I started listening to like really calming music when I would feed and change the diaper of my baby. And it made it so much less stressful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So no kids. You think you'll just be an animal mom?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
junk food no way because i like being an adult woman i like junk food well i saw a video on your instagram about you talking you said that you think you said witches eat vegetables yeah is there something like that that david will say to express something that yes because i don't like witches and i don't like the texture of certain vegetables what about david does david do that he associates numbers his colors he has synesthesia
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
No way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
No way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Abby, I'm going to be honest with you. If you sat next to us on a plane, the past couple of flights we've been on, you would have thought a sea witch was on that plane. Because there was a lot of crying babies on that plane.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
the wicked stepsisters from cinderella yes yes well you know it's funny because crying babies obviously it sounds it can sound like a sea witch when they're crying but the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of oz yeah margaret hamilton can i tell you something we met doing or we started dating when we were both performing in the wizard of oz yes i was a flying monkey and i was a castle guard i was on stilts wearing a big green outfit and i was like 10 feet tall in the air
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you like tasty hydration beverages? I do. Because we do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So writing that song, was that therapeutic for you to get to explain to the world?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Your foot. Abby, you're hilarious.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Did people look at you funny when you shouted penis?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And is this person that co-wrote the song with you, is that what she does for her job is like write music and stuff?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, that makes so much more sense to me now because when I was watching the video of you saying witches eat vegetables, I was so confused at first.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I didn't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It's funny because the way you just described this girl eating lima beans to fit in is exactly why I started drinking beer because I don't even like it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I also love music, and I got my feet wet with that whole world of music last year, and it blows my mind how...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
The story we were talking about, I think like a minute ago, you were saying you resonated with someone who is being their true self. And so I'm curious if you mentioned going, like you and David went on a safari together. You went to Hollywood Studios together. And that you and David got to see like the premiere of the new movie, Mufasa. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Is all of that, is that your true self or do you just love David so much that you really like doing those things?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh, I think there's some crackers in the fridge.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
many talented people there are you know and how much work go like you hear a song you don't realize how much work goes into one song so i know you put a lot of work into that song yeah yeah it takes like a year for her to really get it done and all that sort of stuff yeah it's not easy people think oh music like that's that oh these people that are big artists they you know they're they're famous for no reason no these people are very talented and they work so hard so that i mean you should be very proud of yourself that you put out your own original song how cool
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you like Costco pizza more or yum yum donuts more?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh God, it's so good. I'll be honest, I've never had a yum yum donut.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, I thought it was so cool because Rolling Stone did an entire article about your wedding that potentially might happen at the end of 2025.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I love therapy. It's just so good. Like I always leave refreshed. I feel better about myself. I feel like I understand myself more. And if you haven't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
gone to therapy before definitely consider better help because it's entirely online and you can switch your provider free of charge at any time if you don't like your therapist you can you can just switch you can get a new one and and they don't charge you a penny it's it's that easy you don't have to feel like you're at an all-time low or in a crisis to seek therapy obviously it's there for you if you feel like you're in that position no matter what you're dealing with
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So I guess for Abby, is marriage, is it more of the wedding that really excites her or the actual marriage itself?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Like you're Ariel. Like you're Ariel and then David is Prince Eric. Eric.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
He did? Yeah. I actually didn't even know that, to be honest.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Wait, I actually want to know, now I'm so curious, what's your review of the new Ariel movie?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh, you went to the actual premiere of it? That is pretty cool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I'm excited to buy one. You must be really good at knitting.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And now you have your own business.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Wow. No way. Did you grow up doing theater?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We, in our last neighborhood, our old neighbor, very first day I met this guy, he came up to me and said, hey, my name is blah, blah, blah, and I have autism. And I was like, that is so cool that in the very first sentence that I met this guy, he had the confidence to just like share that with me. And no one had ever done that before when I met them. And...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I ended up learning he had his own company. He had a video production company where he would film car commercials for car dealerships. And his autism was different than Abby's autism, the type. But I'm so curious, with the type of autism that Abby has, are creative jobs typically ones that people with the same type of autism that Abby has, do people like to usually do creative jobs?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That is so cool. We love theater too. We actually met doing theater.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Abby, it must feel really good when you finish knitting a hat.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you feel like you accomplished something when you finish the product?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And what does it feel like when people maybe post on social media with a picture of them wearing the hat that you made?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
earlier we were talking about Kelly Clarkson and I was saying Abby you've been on Taylor Lautner's podcast you've been on Raven Simone's podcast I'm like would you want to be on the Kelly Clarkson show and what did you tell me yeah I'd love to why do you want to be on the Kelly Clarkson show because I'm
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I want to see you and Kelly do a duet just like you did a duet with Ariel.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's so cool. Well, I hope that either this gets clipped or someone who was watching this is friends with Kelly Clarkson and somehow through the grapevine, Abby gets to sing a duet with Kelly. That's my hope. That's my dream.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah, I don't know. That would be awesome.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
community so it's probably yeah like i don't know good people to be around for sure to try new things and how cool is it that abby here you are you grew up doing theater and you probably thought oh if i'm ever famous one day it might be because i played ariel on broadway but now you're famous for just being you how cool is that how cool is that that people just like you for who you are
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
On the flip side, too, I'm someone that I get worried about hurting someone. I really never want to hurt anybody. So sometimes on the flip side, if I'm worried that I might do or say something that could end up hurting someone, I'm like, it might just be easier to not even engage.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so I loved how when Abby in this interview would say something silly, you would laugh and you would engage with her because you can still laugh with someone who has autism. You can still laugh with someone who is neurodivergent because they can say silly things too. And I think that was really enlightening for me because...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
You know, on the flip side, I found myself have this like this desire. OK, maybe I should like step back because I never want to do or say anything to hurt anybody. So I think sometimes people can get afraid that they might they might like laugh at a not OK time and then accidentally makes one feel bad. So it was really cool to see you, you know, laugh with your daughter and just engage with her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Why don't you get up again?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, we can also be done. We can also wrap up the episode.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah, thank you for coming here and flying on a plane to be here. That really means a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Abby's crying because your mom is such an amazing mom to you, Abby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That must be a really cool feeling, especially growing up feeling like you didn't belong. And now you feel seen and feel heard. And that just must feel so empowering. And you must feel, I don't know, I could be completely wrong, but you just must feel like really jazzed up to be like 26 and just living your life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think what's so cool is, you know, when Abby was a little girl, you were so worried about her being loved and so worried about her being accepted. And now she's changed the world.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, where can people find you? I know you and Abby are both on TikTok, Instagram. Where's the best place for people to connect with you?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I feel like that would be a great way just to have some fun. But seriously, though, I want to see Abby do this duet with Kelly Clarkson. I think that would be epic, especially knowing that she's done a duet with the voice actress that played Ariel. Jodie Benson.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Are you kidding me?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We're going to go, I guess, eat some snacks now. Yes, eat snacks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We're going to go get drunk with Abby, but it was great talking to everybody.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I mean, that must have been so hard for you as Abby's mom to see her go through that. How did you cope as a mom who just wants your daughter so badly to feel like they belong? How did you cope? Was there a certain parent that you... I did everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And when Abby is celebrated and seen the way that you see her on the Netflix show Love on the Spectrum, was that a similar experience for you then?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Wait, was that kind of scary with like all these big cameras everywhere?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
abby how does it feel that like before we started this interview you tell me about how you love shark boy and lava girl how does it feel that you are now friends with the the person that played shark boy it's amazing i was a big fan of him growing up and my favorite part of shark boy and lava girl is when they go to the land of milk and cookies that place is awesome those cookies look so so yummy when you met taylor lautner what was what did you think about him
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Isn't he so nice?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I was expecting him to be this super tough guy because we also got to meet them and do podcasts with them, kind of like you guys did. I thought he was going to be this super macho. He's in Twilight. He's the wolf. But he was so nice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
You didn't?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, yeah, Abby and I were talking about the story of how you got Clementine, which seems so cool because Clementine's from Joshua Tree, right?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
When you bake fresh bread, it actually changes my life every single time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
For 90 days. Yikes. It's like serious, serious. And the most susceptible are really little kids like toddlers and the elderly. So that's why I don't really want our kids in there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We can finally get rid of those paper blinds soon.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They're, like, ripped because our kids just rip it like it's a Christmas present.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm really loving it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Be honest with me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Um, yeah, because you talk about in the context of like dying with me still here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I feel like my face has slimmed down a little bit. Like, I had, like, kid chubby cheeks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Matt, I know everything about you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
What is it?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Oh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Do you know what mine gets to in a cardio workout?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You know, I don't think there's a way for me to not have them be chubby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And when I'm pregnant, it gets higher, which I don't think is actually a good thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Trust me, I know. I asked my doctor about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Like my average?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Like including when I'm asleep?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
My seven day average is 60.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Are you anxious right now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Is that good? That's really low. That's good.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Thank you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
What? Mine did not say that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Mine says like 25.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Did you know that there are going to be 21 two-year-olds and under at our house today?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
In two days?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I really did think about it, but you were out of town and I was like, you know what? If I'm going to do this, I have to act now. And I just made an invitation and I sent it out and I figured that you're the type of person that you'd be stoked about this. Yeah. Are you stoked?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Their parents are coming too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We're having a Valentine's Day party for two-year-olds. Okay, so Matt, get this. Yes. I bought a huge toddler table that they can all eat their little food on. And I figured we're going to decorate it for Valentine's Day, but we're also going to have little hearts. and they like jump on the heart letters.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I have mixed feelings.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They're gonna have white paper like laid out with a bunch of arts and crafts things so they can color. Their take home gift is a little, I got a bookshelf for kids, like a fabric one that's just like simple. And I got a bunch of Valentine's Day books. So like the Valentine's Day version of like all their favorite books like Pete the Cat, Good Night, Construction Site, Bluey, like Mickey Mouse.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I mean, for being completely honest, I'm like, this feels like, I think we know now what a big project, something like this is, like what this undertaking is. Oh, yeah. So that's why I'm like a little nervous about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's so sweet. And they're all different. So they can all pick one out on their way out the door. And it's a little Valentine's Day book that they can read. And there's just so many more fun activities I'm so excited about. So sweet. I'm so excited. And we're going to have just like pizza and chicken nuggets and just make it fun times.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Really? Because I feel like that's such a nice compliment. That's what I want to be. But I feel like half the time when I host.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I feel like half the time when I host, our house is a disaster. But you know what? This is my rule. It's more important to have people over than to say no because your house isn't like picture perfect. And you know what we were talking about? That was Ginger too on the podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Relationships are way more important than appearances.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They even saw our bedroom in a crazy state.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. They might not have seen that. Now you just said that. Not the flashcards.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, you know, I mean... if you get right down to it, some people might be a little bit more tidy than others, but we all got our, we all got our messes. We'll hide them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, but I, but I'm saying like, I'll still host people without like being like, Oh, I have to clean up everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
In fact, I, I do that all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yes, book clubs have been really fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I know. So I'm like, wow, are we really going to... This has been a lot.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Smut is a word though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
YouTube and Instagram.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Smut is like the spice level in books. People will rank it like on based on like jalapeno peppers. So like the max spice you could get is like five jalapeno peppers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Matt, there's a lot. Some people just don't enjoy reading that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. And some people have like moral reasons for not reading that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's not really like at that point, it's not really literary. Like it's more, it's a different, it's entering a different category.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's like pornography in a book.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You already told me this, but I can act like it's the first time you told me this.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We actually do talk off the podcast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was on the toilet when you told me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, what do cinematographers do?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
See, I wouldn't have thought that, though. I will tell you I am shocked by the violence and stuff nowadays, but I wouldn't have thought that. I feel like there is a lot of sex in our stuff.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
But I guess, I guess I feel like it's all behind. Like, like I feel like I'm thinking about like only fans or like websites online. It's not really like as much in ads and movies and stuff too though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
But so is violence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's actually a really good point. You saying that kind of stuck with me. I've been thinking about that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I like a little bit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
A little bit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I don't know. I think if it's done romantically, I like it. Yeah. I mean, I'm an adult. I'm a married woman.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I guess, yeah. Oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. Like I'd probably like a two.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Matt, you would be shocked by what's in some books. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When I first signed up for therapy, telling some close members of my family, they immediately were like, what's wrong? And I feel like that just shows that, you know, therapy nowadays is changing. BetterHelp is probably the easiest way to get therapy nowadays and also the fastest.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's fully online and it's making therapy affordable and convenient. And it serves over 5 million people worldwide.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
BetterHelp has access to a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties from eating disorder to gender problems to marriage and relationship therapy to depression, anxiety, just wanting to help manage your time better or you're single but looking for things to find in a relationship and to be a better partner for someone else.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Like so many different types of specialties. It's really easy to switch therapists at no extra cost to you if you're not really vibing the most. You can just switch at any time, and they make it super simple and user-friendly for you. I really suggest BetterHelp if you're in a place where, like, I need therapy and I need it fast. I'm kind of overwhelmed at...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
signing up you're not gonna find an easier way to end quicker way to get therapy so discover your relationship green flags with better help visit betterhelp.com slash unplanned podcast to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com slash unplanned podcast okay so butchering blackbird what's the smut level of that one that would probably be a five for me i mean there's this there's a scene that is like 30 pages oh my gosh you did read me a paragraph from that book and i was i was i had to google things
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was scarred. See, that for me wasn't romantic.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That was shocking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You know what? And then they'll probably love that book. That's what I truly believe. Like me writing a book means nothing because what I like in a certain time of my life is In a certain season, you know, might be totally different.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
See, I have to feel both ways about that. Because as a woman who's nursed two babies, I feel like I would get so frustrated with the freaking covers. Oh, it's wrong. The baby would get frustrated. It would be hot. It would be just a hassle.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Probably because of the culture and just personal reasons too. I really don't want to be exposed.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I feel like it's actually illegal here.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Even if you're nursing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No one's going to actually press charges if you're nursing a baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Like feeding your child should never be a crime. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. We definitely got some problems up in this country.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Maybe. But also if people want to cover up and be modest, then that's all right too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think I'm a pretty modest person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
To be read. To be read. So like I have like a pretty decent TBR right now, but I haven't had as much flexible time in my mind to read. You know, I get frustrated when people say I don't have time to do that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That bothers me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm like we all have the same amount of time in the day.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I choose to say I didn't choose to spend my time that way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Now I understand with like kids and work these obligations feel like they're not flexible. But that's why I said I didn't feel like I had enough flexible time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
To spend that way. Yeah. But we all have time to do things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
tbr to be read so are you when you say tbr that's like a you have like a list of books that you're going to read yeah that i want to read gotcha so some people if they're being very specific they have a physical tbr and then they're uh like what like a digital tbr okay so physical tbr would be like the books i have physically that i have yet to read that i want to read interesting mine are all digital basically because i read on a kindle
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Do you know what DTF is?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Down to Frick. DNF. DNF. I'm so sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's a different acronym.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's a wrong acronym.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No. DNF. The fact that you actually texted me that five and a half years into our marriage. I did. Frequently.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, frequently.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm just shocked. I'm just shocked that that's my husband sending me that. DNF. DNF. What does DNF mean?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Really? Yeah. Okay. It's not my humor.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I feel like my humor is like what would make a two-year-old.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
But sarcastic does not always equal comedy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's fine. She's...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And that's okay. But I feel like it's better that way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, cause you used to think that when people were sarcastic with you, they were being mean to you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I mean, I will acknowledge sometimes there's overlap there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. But a lot of times it's just like lighthearted.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So DNF means you did not finish it. That's something I don't do. I always see it through. It's part of my personality. I'm loyal.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I don't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm going to see it through.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Because I'm going to see it through. I'm loyal. I also don't want to overstimulate myself.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm going to make it as least stimulating as possible. Oh my gosh. So here's another thing about me as a reader. I'm just here for the fun of it. I'm not going to try to predict everything that's going to happen. I'm not going to look for plot holes. I'm not going to be critical. I'm just here for the experience. And so I'm going to rate books based on that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think your problem is trying to attack a series and like not switch it up a little bit.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. It's mostly like your brain space. Your brain real estate has been taken up.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, that's fine.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, it's great. But anyway, for book club, we read a thriller. And most of those girls really just are there for the romance, like the lighthearted, sweet books.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Low stakes, if you will. And I was finally like stoked because I was like, everyone's loving this. They all read the book like within the first week.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And then get to book club, time to pick another book. No one wants to read another thriller. I was like, dang it. I thought we were going to be a thriller book club, but that's fine.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Or read another romance. So we read Rock, Paper, Scissors, which actually they all really liked it. But I was like, I just feel like you haven't read enough thrillers because it was a very mid thriller in my mind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I am so much happier because we're meant to not do life alone. And motherhood specifically can be such an isolating time. And I have so many mom friends. And it just makes everything so much brighter. That's just the best way to describe it. And it's not because you're not enough and my kids aren't enough. It's really just because it enhances everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
The experience so much more to do it with others.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And I can't... And it's hard to just pick that up in a moment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Like, friendships and relationships are something you have to invest in. Exactly. And something that, like, I'm so grateful for, and the people that we have in our circle now, or, like, me and the kids too, it's, like... people that are gonna show up when times are great and when times are tough.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And even if it's not even that big of a deal, like if it's like, you know, we had a kid sick this Saturday, was not, in any kind of way, like desperately ill or anything. But I had so many people just checking in on like, how's he doing? How's this fever? How's this? How's X, Y, Z?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And then people dropping off snacks for us and Griffin's favorite snacks, offering to drop off meals and, you know, giving like little popsicles and handwritten cards. Like, It was such a minor little bug that he had, yet there were so many people that just wanted to show up in any capacity. And that just meant so much.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Your brain real estate is very...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And I feel like as I was sitting in the bathtub that night, like, thinking about it, I was like, the fact that so many people care about the little people that we love the most, they don't just care about us. The fact that they care about...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
our children that that was like so meaningful and so sweet and you know it goes both ways i care so much about their kids i would i would fight for their kids and we didn't have that in hawaii no
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And it's not Hawaii's fault. It's a difference in me. I think friendships had always come easy for me. So easy. Because I had the same friends since I was literally a child. And so I just took them with me. And then I had a lot of those same friends too in college. I had you in college. And then all of a sudden I was plucked up and put on an island. And I was an adult that didn't have...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
an establishment to make friends for me and I know that there are so many other people that are in this exact same stage of life and it's especially more challenging if you're pregnant or have little ones and it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing when you're an adult and you have no friends
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It shouldn't be embarrassing though. No, but it is. I don't know why.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You got it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think that's an ADHD thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I already planned. I got stuff in my head for you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think being several years removed from that, my perspective is so different. I was kind of pitying myself in a way. I probably wasn't consciously doing it, but subconsciously pitying myself. And then I just recognized that now there are probably so many other people around me that were feeling the same way, but...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
we all it takes a certain level of humility to be the first person to be like hey you want to come over to my house for dinner tonight I feel like that's the easiest thing to do now since we have kids and obviously also finding people with kids it's easier to make our schedules align but like to be the first person to just like hey you want to do this like it can feel a little weird but I can do that with confidence now knowing that most people are feeling the same way
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Thank you to Nutrafol for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If you guys are watching like a visual platform for this, you're going to see that my hair is getting long. Some of you may know that my goal is to grow my hair to my butt. And I can't do this on my own. I've been on the Nutrafol game for over two years now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm loving it and I'm not surprised because Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over 1 million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol. A one size fits all approach to hair growth doesn't cut it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Physician formulated with 100% drug-free ingredients, Nutrafol has multiple formulas that are tailored to give your hair what it needs to grow through different stages, such as postpartum and even menopause. Building a hair growth routine is simple with Nutrafol. You just purchase it online. There's no prescription required, which is really, really helpful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Oh, I like that better actually. Is that? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And they have automated deliveries and free shipping to help you stay on track. You'll also have access to free naturopathic doctor consults and a Headspace meditation membership is also included. So, You're getting a lot of bang for your buck with Nutrafol. It just makes sense. Honestly, I love my hair and it feels really, really, really healthy. And it hasn't always been this way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Start your hair growth journey with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription. and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code UNPLANNED. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com, promo code UNPLANNED.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's Nutrafol.com, promo code UNPLANNED.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, Matt, I get DMs like that all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Something that's beautiful though about the friends that I have now is is that yeah we're not 21 and single and like every hangout we do can just be like you know what do i say like a mountaintop experience like it can't just be like we're going out or getting drinks like you can't it's late nights but like it's just showing up for people yeah and that is
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
also very fun and it's just it just feels so much richer that type of community i'm not saying you can't have that when you're 21 single you can have that same thing but i notice it so much more in the season of life like we're going to a friend's house to help paint her nursery for her oh i didn't know you were doing that people yeah and people like put our coffee table together whose house
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. And like... It's just like showing up... Like making meals. Like people did for us. Like dropping off medicine and handwritten cards.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, and I even had a friend reach out because they knew that it was an anniversary of a tough time for me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And just like to feel known in that capacity is so, so meaningful. Just a text. It's really, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so grateful.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Sarah Kay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, because she also had a loss at that same time. So we kind of can talk about that together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That type of stuff is so meaningful. But... What was I saying?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So don't beat yourself up if you're a bad date person. I even forget people that I, like, love deeply's birthdays. And I'm like, I gotta stop doing that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It makes me ill. But, you know, the flip side of it is I'm not offended. I'm not, like, making a spreadsheet of who tells me happy birthday on my birthday. Yeah. If people don't tell me happy birthday, it really... I'm like, no big deal. No big... It ain't no thing. You know? But, um... Like, yeah. Just talking about community in general, like, is the single... You know what's crazy? What's that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
People I've talked to. Like, they're like... Even people that are like, okay, we might not be staying in Arizona. As soon as they get plugged into a community... Yeah. They're like, I can't imagine leaving.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Because home is not about the place. It's about the people that surround you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And that's what makes a place feel like a home. And so... And I also feel like your family, you can choose... your family too. If you don't, if you weren't born into a huge family, you can still make your life so full with the people that you choose to, you know, invite into your circle. And that's something that takes time. It takes work. It takes sacrifice and it takes communication.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And also people will come in and out of your life. And that's totally fine too. There doesn't have to be like any hard feelings about that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's cute. I love it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Bring... Say, you want to come over for dinner? Or you want to take the kids to this place together? Or there's this event going on at this time. Like, just, like, find reasons to do things together with other people. But also find yourself in places where you're going to find people that are in the same season of life as you. Whether that's the gym, the park, the library. Like, there's so...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, we're just so, we have so many good people in our life now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, me too. And that's why I'm so excited for this two-year-old Valentine's Day party. And that's also why I want to start a preschool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So thoughtful. And there's so many people that I was like, hey, don't worry about it. We got it. Everything's better. Even being able to contact people and be like, oh, he's experiencing these symptoms. Should I take him in? That are doctors. That's so cool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Does this mean that you're separating from me?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So are you down to start a preschool now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I've kind of always wanted to homeschool. I've said that. I've always wanted to homeschool our kids. But we're getting close to that preschool age. And like I said, we have such a big community now. And I'm realizing it's a really big need. And our child would learn better amongst peers. So I'm like, do I just get a curriculum and just do this thing?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm in a really funny mood today.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
With like eight two-year-olds or eight three-year-olds?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Two hours twice a week.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's what I want to do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You have a name for it. Are you going to teach them Chachapiti? No, not their three. Let's start working on the numbers and the letters and the colors and shapes. I feel like it's going to be called One Smart Cookie. I don't know. I'm just brainstorming here. How fun would that be?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And I would buy a curriculum because I'm not a curriculum developer, but I did get my degree in elementary education. And my mom was an elementary teacher for 27 years. And I'm sure she would love to be a part of this as well. And heck, we could even invite my grandma, have Gigi in there. She was also a teacher for several years and own an educational supplies store.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think people think that this might be because we're separating because you're sleeping separate from me again.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
One smart cookie has a good team.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We have so many books. I love reading picture books.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I go horse reading picture books sometimes. I give it my all. But sometimes all I have is just reading it just plain. But you know. So I think it could be really fun. And two hours twice a week. Like I feel like that would just be a really good chunk of time to just be intentional.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And just do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Because a lot of people are looking for this.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was tired, but it was a lot of fun. Honestly, built me some confidence.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was like, man, if Matt were to get in a freak accident, I could hold on the fort.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah. I feel like it kicked into like some type of mode. Like I had to meet all their needs. Yeah. And so I like didn't think I just did. I just did.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It was pretty much a mess, and I didn't really cook any fancy meals.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Kept it simple.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I didn't do that this time, no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Because they are germ fests.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They are.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I know. That's why I didn't take them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I mean, I don't take them that much. Like, we did, like, once or twice a month. Like, it wasn't, like, a ton of times.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, and I'm like, well, I couldn't even just use your hand to pick it up. I know. It's like, really? We're just going to lick the floor right now?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I try to correct it every time I see it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They're so impulsive.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I love them.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Several May Days.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You know, just screaming for... oh no like like the kids being up in the night like not wanting to go to sleep um that happened a couple times shoot was it was it our oldest or youngest it's always our oldest why is it our oldest i don't know is he getting nightmares is that why yeah he's getting some nightmares some night terrors but then also like I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Sometimes he just like... He just says to me, I need you, mom. I need you, mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, there's literally no way I'm going to tell him no. I'm going to get him out. And he says, one more cuddle, mom. One more cuddle, mom. One more cuddle, mom. And his little deep voice. One more cuddle. And I cuddle him. He's like my full body length. Especially in that sleep sack. I'm like, oh my gosh, buddy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I don't like it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
He's big. So, yeah. But no, it was great. Like honestly, being their mom is like... It is the greatest honor of my life. It's so fun. There's just something about parenting them that I'm like, I'm never going to run out of energy for you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, I complain about it every night. Don't I?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm going to be so tired, but I'll still peel myself out of bed and pull you out of your bed and hold you, and then I'll still wake up the next morning and do it all day again. There's something that happens, and you don't even feel as tired as you would have thought before you had kids. There's levels of exhaustion that we've reached that I just didn't think were possible.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Totally, because being around them, it just gave me another boost of energy and inspiration. So many of them are always like, just drop them off at my house. They offer that all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Book club always goes late, you know? We get rowdy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was nervous to see you because we hadn't seen each other for five days, and I don't know when's the last time we've ever done that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm a lonely gal. See, here's the thing. Say what you want. I am codependent. And... I like went from being a kid in my parents' house to being roommates with people in college to sleeping with you. And I shared a room in college. It wasn't like I ever like even had my own bedroom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's been years.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, that was sweet, but yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Me too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, my problem is that Griffin, when you got home, he said, no, like, dada.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Every day. And he said, no, like, dada. No, like, dada. No, like, dada. He's so mean.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That was so sweet. He's recently, he's been saying like in a big boy sentence, I want mom. I want my, no, he says, I want my mom. I want my mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm not surprised. I've been your wife for five and a half years, and I just know how you are. No one in our family was surprised either.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, I told some of my friends, though.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I get it. They're so genuine. Remember how we just had this whole long conversation about community? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Dude, I feel like you're more of a sunset surfer.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
What is the science behind that?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We'll have to visit. Do you really want to move?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
probably should not put that on the internet but no it's fine he's my brother too late yeah he's my brother and he didn't he wasn't i was just like i hated being alone at night yeah and i have that you know i have that thing where i have to say my last words out of my mouth have to be good night i love you yeah and sometimes i'm like what if i say something else just on my own yeah i guess you know what it probably is is i saw my parents like growing up my parents did not share a bedroom really they would when you were a kid even yeah actually yeah i didn't actually know that
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We just bought a house.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's awesome. I'm so glad you had such a good time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It was such this like... Me over here, I was like, he's sitting on a plane by himself for...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm down. Let's go.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
There you go.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm all for that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's hilarious.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You do Rosetta Stone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I know. I'm getting really sleepy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I'm getting really sleepy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You shouldn't have moved me from like chair to this couch.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Oh, wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Am I starting this preschool or what? Open enrollment today for one smart cookie.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's only for our friends' kids.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So, yep.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's so cute.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Bye. Peace.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It can, it can be a marker of like an unhealthy marriage or it can just be like you have different schedules, you have different sleep situations.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, I was making you really mad. You said a couple not good words.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We're in the same room, but not in the same bed.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And I have a couple other gripes about this. It's hard to put my clothes away and get to my clothes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Thank you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You know, have you ever heard of the winter uglies?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
As I'm seeing more and more gadgets into the closet, the more I roll my eyes. Because I was like, man, he's really settling in here. Like, why don't you just get a freaking mini fridge at this point?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You're kidding.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I hated that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I have no words.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, I was just talking about it with my friend and it's a real thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You forgot to say the lavender.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You're so high maintenance.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, I believe in it because if you like it, it will...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Okay, then that's great. So then it works.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Okay. Well, I haven't done my research on that. So I'm not supporting that. So do not, just come from that if you are an essential oil person.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, like, you know, summer you're feeling tan. You're feeling like your hair is brighter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Your guy friend noticed your skin.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Screwed me up. I feel like, speaking of the winter uglies, that's when I was really noticing. I was like, I feel like I'm getting the earliest signs.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I was getting the first signs of wrinkles.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And I'm feeling like I know that they're not severe, but I'm recognizing them. You don't have winter uglies. And I know people my age do stuff about them, but I'm like, am I going to be the type of person? I'm always in this battle, right? Am I going to be the type of person that embraces?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
my body signs of aging and like almost like where's like a trophy like this these are like laughter lines from all the times that i have belly laughed with friends and like these are you know i think it's a good thing though like i think embrace or should i just like try to fight it you know
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Really? Thank you. I feel like being a mom is what gave me the wrinkles, I will say.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Thank you. That's very nice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
No, I don't. Because the other day I was like, I literally didn't do it. We had a kid sick. And so I literally didn't do anything to myself all day. And I just felt like I might not be able to look at myself in the mirror without self-tanner on one more time before I was going to physically gag.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It will be. You never know who you're going to get. I've changed way more in our relationship than you and I.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, dude, when we started dating, I was so young, I had never highlighted my hair.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I think I'm going to stay blonde for a while.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I like it too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I feel like it suits me more. Honestly, when I dye my hair, my hair is the exact same color as our first one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I don't, I have no idea.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yours aren't though. Yours are, I mean, they're dark, but they're chocolate brown.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
What I was going to say is the reason why I think it bothers me more than you, because, like, learning this about your parents, like, I knew they slept in separate beds now, but I didn't know that was a thing growing up. Oh, yeah. My parents have never, ever. Even when my mom was throwing up in the night, my mom was like, why don't you go to the guest bedroom?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And my dad literally said to her, not sarcastically said, well, you know, in sickness and in health.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And he stayed in the bed with her. She's vomiting and he had to wake up early for work. That's the type of, that's the background I'm coming from. Not saying they're better at all, but like we'll be together even if it's the most inconvenient thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And you know what? Both of our parents have healthy marriages. Yes. So it's not a commentary on your marriage, although it could be because there are some people that aren't sitting in separate rows because they just don't like each other.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
We're still very much married. Yeah. We're still very much husband and wife.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yes. It's been wonderful. I would agree.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
So, yeah, I mean, I'm hoping this is a temporary setup. Is the end in sight?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, for this closet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
They're taking a long time to ship. And then we still have to get special ones for the doors. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I am a person that will avoid a phone call with a stranger at almost any cost. And it has had hefty costs for me. Like... When it comes to ending subscriptions, I'm like, who's going to answer at the end of the line?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That was so dramatic, but I do feel like I'm experiencing the winter uglies, you know?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
And how long is it going to take? And what if it's confusing? No, you don't have to worry about that because Rocket Money exists. And Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's like having someone that's just like, you know what, I'll take care of this for you. It's super, super nice. You can see all your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. They also automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save. They helped negotiate one of our bills down even.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the app's premium features. And you guys, it's towards the start of 2025. It's time to get a hold of our finances now. And that can be a really overwhelming task, but with Rocket Money, it's really made simple.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Well, you're just being kind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
The app is free to download, and it's very, very user-friendly to see how much money you have, where your money's going, how much your bills are, where you can save more, where you can spend more, all that type of stuff, and help you cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals fast with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash unplanned today.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
That's rocketmoney.com slash unplanned. rocketmoney.com slash unplanned.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
You know, I will agree with that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's only been three months?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
Yeah, and it's finally kind of coming together. You know what's funny is that I gave a bunch of people tours of our house and it's just still like so... Some parts look like we freshly moved in and I feel like that's just going to be how it is. Yeah, that's okay. You kind of just get used to how things are. But I don't want it. I want to feel more established and organized.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I just really want to be organized. And we're getting stuff sent to our house. We're ordering. We had... we're just trying to get it figured out. And then also getting our backyard on, which is what I'm most excited for because we have kids and we live in Arizona. We want to be outside, especially now that it's like nice weather out. And like, I just need to be able to let them free.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
I also was a child when we started dating.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Sleeping in separate beds, loneliness & making friends as an adult
It's dirt. And since it's Arizona, there's not been rain. It's dust. And so it's really not good to let like be in that because if you breathe that in, you can get this thing called valley fever, which my grandma actually had. She was really, really sick. She was on a prescription medication for for that. I don't want to say it was an antibiotic, but it was something else. A steroid?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We can't go to dinner together anymore. Maybe we could with five.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yes, Wild Grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box for artisanal breads, pastries and pastas. So picture this. You get your box of Wild Grain and it takes all the hassle of baking bread out the door because it arrives and you just pop it in the oven and in 25 minutes you have warm, delicious, literally fresh baked bread.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, and they also have recently launched a new gluten-free box and a plant-based box that is 100% vegan. Let's go. So, I personally am so looking forward to, you know, after the long day, getting my bowl of immunity soup and my little fresh baked bread.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So, I'm really looking forward to it. Are you ready to bring all your favorite carbs right to your doorstep? Be sure to check out Wildgrain so you can begin building your box of artisanal breads, pastas and pastries.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's aggressive.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box plus free croissants in every box when you go to wildgrain.com slash unplanned to start your subscription. You heard me, free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash unplanned. That's wildgrain.com slash unplanned or you can use code unplanned at checkout.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So anyway, I just had a list on my phone of dates, but I took two tests. They're both negative and Caleb and I were talking and... Wir fühlten uns gut. Ich dachte, es wäre so spannend gewesen, wenn ich da wäre. Aber ich bin wirklich froh, dass es nicht wieder unplaniert war. Wir wollten es einfach so versuchen, wie es geplant war. Um zu sehen, wie das passiert ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nachdem das passiert ist, haben wir gesagt, lasst es uns gehen. Wir waren sehr glücklich, dass wir das Monat erkannt haben, dass wir verheiratet waren. Yeah, and you tested early too. Yeah, I tested, I took the test on Friday. It was the last day that we were in the DR. I always say Mexico. I know, it's, they're different, but similar. Similar vibes. Yeah, it's the beach.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
No, we can't go out to eat together anymore. We will just host... Ja, wir hoffen es.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Well, you're also at an all-inclusive, so those are all kind of very similar.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, similar vibes. Aber es war der letzte Tag unserer Reise. Und ich wusste, dass ich meinen Zeitraum zwei Tage später starten sollte. Also habe ich es am Freitag genommen. Und ja, es waren nur die Läufe. Es waren nicht die Worte. Und die Läufe waren schwarz. Und ich habe gesagt, ja, wir sind gut. Und als ich den Test gemacht habe, denke ich, dass ich das Video jetzt veröffentlicht habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber ich habe noch nicht darüber weint. Ich fühle mich noch nicht so emotional, dass wir ein neues Baby haben. Ja, warte. Ich habe noch nie das Reaktionsvideo gesehen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
War es einfach normal? Ja, ich dachte, wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's weird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
What do you think this means? Did you take it together? Yeah, we did. Oh, that's sweet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, because the first with CJ, I took it and then I surprised Caleb with a coffee from Starbucks and it said, we're pregnant. And that was really fun. And then this time we had talked about taking it together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wir hoffen es.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Es ist ehrlich gesagt besser, wenn die Kinder nicht an der Table sitzen. Oh mein Gott, das ist so erstaunlich. Okay, also Addy, du bist... Okay, warte. Zuerst einmal für Verklarierung. Addy ist mit meinem Bruder verheiratet und hat ihr erstes Baby. Und Abby ist mit meinem Mannsbruder verheiratet. Und sie haben ihr zweites Baby. Und es gibt hier einfach viel zu sprechen. Weil das ist...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's so exciting. Okay, so then you told me like the same day you found out. Was I the first person you told?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I found out I'm pregnant this morning. I love her and Blake. Blake was like, why did you tell them? Yeah, Blake was like, why would I lie? And she's like, I wasn't gonna lie. And he's like, well, it's not like you're lying, but you didn't have to volunteer that information. I don't know. Not excited. We actually did used to have a friend like that. Like, no lie ever. Even a white lie.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Like, even anything that was just, like, harmless. Like, no lie was acceptable in her mind. So, maybe that was just... That's so funny.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und Tom kommt zu mir und sagt, Glückwunsch wieder. Und dann kamen sie weg. Und dann kamen sie weg.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I was just like letting her know, like, I don't know, like if you were still like for sure we're doing this. Yes. And then she was like, yeah, we're doing this. Yeah, we're doing this, come over. And it's fine because the other person canceled anyway.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You and I were talking for a long time. We were talking for a little bit. Me and you and Blake were talking for a long time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist so spannend. Ich liebe es, über Babys und Geburtstagen zu sprechen. Wenn ich jemanden zum ersten Mal treffe, dann frage ich mich manchmal, weil ich nicht weiß, ob es eine komplizierte Geschichte gibt. Also warte ich meistens auf, dass sie mir den ersten kleinen Knall geben. Und dann bin ich so, okay, also wann... Okay. Okay. Just a little bit of milk.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I knew that that was in the near future for you guys. But we'd always said it was going to be in a couple months. You said it was going to be in the new year.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's true. There's that. Thank you for validating that. I hate the video of it because the way my face is literally just like... My little brother did what? Like, that's where your mind went? I don't know if that's where my mind went, but that's what my face is saying. Oh my god.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Like, I'm literally like, and I turn and look at Blake. The minute Griffin and Augie are, like, married and have children, you're gonna... Like, I didn't expect... I didn't expect that to happen, but in my first... I was like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich denke, es waren viele Dinge. Mein kleiner Bruder wird ein Vater werden. Er ist ein Baby. Aber auch meine Gesichter waren so überwacht mit Freude. Aber dann habe ich auch gesagt, ich schalte auf für einen Moment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
My mom seemed like she thought that was expected. She had a very immediately like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Matt was surprised.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
My dad's reaction is always overwhelming. He was in the bathroom. Your dad was in the bathroom. You know a lot's going on in his head, but just outwardly. Just like Blake, where there's not...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nein, nicht ein bisschen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Außerdem haben wir Kinder, die überall beten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Caleb und Abby haben mich eine Stunde vorher gefragt. Ja, ich glaube. Glaubst du, sie werden bald Kinder haben? Erinnerst du dich? Oh, wir haben die Bilder aufgemacht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, das ist lustig. Und er war so, glaubst du, sie werden bald Kinder haben? Ja, du warst so, wie sie wusste. Ich war? Na, du warst so, ich weiß nicht. Du hattest Tänze. Ich habe es nicht gedacht, aber wenn ich mich zurückblicke, bin ich so... Du lügst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich glaube nicht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist, was Abby... Das ist, was du gesagt hast. Okay, ich gebe es dir. Du bist ein Lüster. Matt sagt mir das immer. Er sagt, du könntest mir lügen und ich würde es nie wissen. Ich würde es nicht tun, aber... Du würdest es nicht tun. Sieh, da ist ein Beispiel. Das war ein weißer Lüster, den ich gemacht habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
There's a list. There are very few things that the sister-in-laws... This was a question that our producer came up with. She was like, are there any topics that are off limits between the sister-in-laws? And I'm like, yes. There's just one. We can talk about pretty much anything. And it only goes one way. Me and you... Can we say... Do we say sex on this podcast?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Not only close my ears, I hum. I'm not... I cannot. I'm sorry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We'll cross that bridge when you get there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You only have sisters.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I feel like it's just a little different.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, we don't really talk about it, my sisters and I. So, I get it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay, I'm like, no, I don't. That's the one thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's the one thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And it comes up so much. I'm just like, what? We can't. We can't. We gotta brick wall and do a U-turn.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Also, your guys' pregnancies are going way slower than any of mine ever got. Thanks. Was meinst du damit? Ich bin so, man, sie müssen bereit sein, bald ein Baby zu haben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich weiß nicht, ich denke, es ist einfach so, dass man mit euch nahe ist, aber nicht verheiratet ist. Ich bin so, man, das dauert immer.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich dachte, neun Monate wäre der perfekte Zeitpunkt für CJ, weil wir viel zu machen hatten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich fühlte mich nicht so langsam, sowohl als ich als auch als ich mich selbst verheiratet fühlte. Aber wenn ich es durchlaufe, denke ich mir, oh mein Gott, weil ich glaube, ich kann nichts tun. Ich kann mit euch verhalten, aber ich bin so...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Just a little bit of milk with a little bit of honey. That's so cute. Yeah, I know. Ashley gave him his own mug yesterday. She saw a Stitch mug. He really likes Stitch. And he was just walking around with the other kids with his little, actually ceramic, like breakable mug. Wow. And I was like, you're an adult.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Abby, you get sick? I don't get sick. I've been very tired. I'm 12 weeks tomorrow, so almost out of the first trimester. And I am like so tired. I've just been on my back every day at like 1. I just lay down. I've watched a lot of TV during the day, which never happens. And just like really have not been able to work or do anything. Well, also this time around you have a baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, which actually, I feel like it's been, I don't know if it's necessarily CJ's making me more tired. I don't remember feeling this tired when I was pregnant with CJ.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, you couldn't rest when you need, now though, like anytime you need to.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And you have to get up whenever. Yeah, I feel like the mornings maybe, but I have good energy in the mornings. It's like once the coffee wears off, then I'm done. So I don't know, I'm like, because CJ doesn't have, he's got a lot of energy, but it's not... He independently plays really well and my parents watch him a lot in the afternoons when I'm really tired.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So I feel like it hasn't been... I don't know. I'm like, I don't know if that's been the factor or if I've just been way more tired. Just physically feeling it way harder.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja. Ja, vielleicht ein bisschen länger, weil ich denke, oh, ich muss nur 12, 13 Wochen kommen und dann werde ich besser. Also weiß ich, dass das Zeit ist, also warte ich auf den Tag auf dem Kalender, also vielleicht fühlt es sich ein bisschen länger an.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber ich denke, dass ich mich mental nicht so überrascht fühle. Oder ich bin mir nicht sicher, ob es nur wegen der Krankheit ist. Ich verstehe, dass ich diese Symptome habe, weil ich das habe. Wobei ich vorher dachte, bin ich krank? Ist meine Nase schmerzhaft? Aber ich war einfach krank.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das macht Sinn. Keiner von euch hat irgendwelche seltsamen Symptome, wie ich fühle. Nein. Meine Nippen schmerzten so schlecht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Tender Brust war das erste Symptom, das ich hatte. Oh, wirklich?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich habe die Nippen geschnürt. Sie wurden so schlecht in den Schauer geschnürt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
kalt, es schmerzte so schlecht, oh, ich war in Utah beide Male und das erste Mal, als ich mit beiden Kindern war, sie schmerzten dieses Mal, als wir in Utah waren, ich habe wirklich zu weinen, ich habe weint, sie schmerzten so schlecht, okay, ich habe den Schlaf bekommen, es fühlt sich einfach an, als würdest du es nicht glauben, wow, wie ich sie in Chilipulver geschnitten habe, wow, das ist verrückt, du hast sie aufgeschmissen und dann sie in Chilipulver geschnitten, ich habe geschaut, als ob ich etwas sehen würde, wow, nichts,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, weird. Also, like, cravings or, like, aversions.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I haven't had any, like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
real like you guys got me wondering if i was faking it crazy things aversion's not really either just smells is more so my thing not food yeah i feel like with cj i was like no i don't really have any cravings but then i look back and i said wow i downed the potatoes and i downed the oranges but mostly potatoes i hate a lot of potatoes one week i made potato soup three times oh Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I think it's shocking for other people. I don't even give him decaf.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Caleb, it doesn't sound good. Caleb, potato soup again? I'm addicted.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I think my weird symptoms came in the third trimester. I got carpal tunnel really bad in my hands and feet. I heard that. That was awful. What does that even feel like? I would wake up in the morning and my feet would hurt so bad I couldn't put them on the ground. I would crawl to the bathroom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh my gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Because they would hurt so bad. Almost like from being stiff in bed and not using them. And then I would wake up and I would go to kill them and I would just cry. I'm like, my feet hurt so bad. I can't stand. And my hands, like I couldn't hold things. I remember I tried working out and I was like, I can't even hold a two pound weight. Like it just hurts so bad. Was macht das?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Honestly, that still feels weird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
No, that would be crazy. Decaf still has caffeine in it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich glaube, es ist das Schmerzen der Beine. Es ist fast wie Arthritis in der Beine. Das ist schrecklich. Das ist nicht wissenschaftlich. Ich habe es nicht vergessen. Das könnte falsch sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das klingt richtig zu mir.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, es war sehr schrecklich. Das fühlt sich richtig an.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I think those are all a scam, by the way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We love them. You know what? I actually was worried with Griffin. I was like, I'm going to hate that. I feel like I'm going to hate that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh, gosh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Giving your kid non-alcoholic beer just doesn't feel right. Technically, it should be allowed, I guess. Nein. Nein, wir werden das nicht machen. Okay, also Addy, du bist im August. Abby, September. Also, starten wir mit Addy. Wie hast du es gefunden? Das war ein geplantes Baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Literally don't give a rat's booty about it. You don't even think about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
In fact, that's the least of my concerns. The way that that looks, it's not a big deal. Sometimes I'm like, well... Es ist, was es ist. Es ist nicht so, dass ich sage, ich liebe sie. Es ist nicht so, dass ich sage, ich fühle mich hier oder da. Ich fühle mich hier oder da. Ich denke nicht darüber nach. Ich denke nicht darüber nach.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay, so you guys found out the gender. Did you find out like 10 weeks?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ihr habt starke Mädchen-Vibes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, Blake fühlt sich wie eine Frau. Du fühlst dich auch wie eine Frau, Mama. Ja, ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Verstehst du, was ich meine? Er ist wahrscheinlich mit seiner eigenen Sachen unterwegs. Er ist einfach so, lass mich das durchsortieren.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich bin überrascht, weil ich gesagt habe, dass ihr ein Mädchen habt, seit ihr verheiratet seid. Ich dachte, sie haben ein Mädchen zuerst. Sie haben zwei, sie haben ein Mädchen und ein Junge. Es wird ein Replika unserer Familie sein. Das ist das, was ich will. Und ich dachte, das wird passieren. Und dann meine Mutter, freaking Lori, sie beginnt mir alle ihre Daten zu geben.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das war einer ihrer großen Datenpunkte. Sie hatte mehrere Fakten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich konnte die Fakten nicht beurteilen. Sie hat so viele Fakten. Und ich war so, weißt du was? Ich kann Fakten nicht erteilen. Und so habe ich ein Mädchen gewechselt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich kann Fakten nicht erteilen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I was like, fair. But you know what, why do I even believe her? Because she's been wrong about every single guess she's made, ever. Statistically, that's not even likely either. That's just as unlikely as predicting it. It's pretty impressive. It's impressive. So, I'm mad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So fun. Abby, do you want to tell Addy your philosophy on finding out the gender?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
What's my philosophy? That it's cheating! I'm like, I'm just gonna do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I think it's a middle child thing. The reason I'm against this is because straight from your own mouth, after having CJ, you're like, next time I'm gonna need to know. I did say that. And I was like, okay, good. Because you wanted a girl. The fact that you remember that is for you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And I was like, I'm gonna hold her accountable to this because I am of the opinion that the day your baby is born could not get more excited. You've maxed out. In fact, I overmaxed out to the point where I don't even like really cry when I hold my baby because I'm just kind of like... It's a lot. It's emotion overload. Like I cry about like the littlest of things.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So then when that happens, I'm like, I can't cry right now. It's kind of like we've dissociated. Maybe it's because I don't cry about the other stuff that I'm like, I need the moment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh, okay. You know what I mean? With CJ finding out that he was a boy was the craziest feeling ever. Laying there on the table with my arms strapped down.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, I was like, based on watching you, I couldn't tell that it was the craziest moment ever. I was like, wow. Ja, ich...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich habe mir gedacht, wir werden nicht mal einen Krankenhaus für dieses Baby haben, bis das Baby hier ist. Also habe ich nichts wirklich geplant. Also habe ich gesagt, lass uns einfach die großen Momente für den großen Tag retten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Siehst du, für mich, wenn ich krank bin, habe ich beide Male einfach so gefühlt, dass Dinge in meinem Körper passieren. Und ich muss mir erinnern, dass das passiert, weil da ein Baby drin ist. Und dann bin ich wie ein Baby als Person, das mein Sohn oder Tochter ist. Ich fühle mich, als hätte ich einen schwierigen Zeit, es zu verarbeiten, es zu bemerken, auch wenn ich es,
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich fühle mich wirklich mit meinem Körper verbunden, aber ich weiß auch nicht, was das ist, wie es hier im Körper ist. Und so hat ein Gender mir geholfen, meine Meinung umzusetzen, weil dann kann ich vielleicht den Namen geben und anfangen, einfach zu processen, weil ich normalerweise einfach Dinge tue und dann bin ich so, wow, nach dem Moment, in dem ich processiere.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Also ich fühle mich, als hätte ich das gemacht und dann bin ich nicht in der Lage, das nach dem Postpartum zu processieren.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, 100 Prozent. Eigentlich würde ich das aufmerksam machen. Ich denke nicht, dass ich mit CJ während der Geburt nicht wirklich mit dem Baby und meinem Bellen verbunden war. Aber ich fand nicht, dass das mich nach der Geburt beeinflusst hat. Weißt du, dein Baby ist da.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I honestly felt that too with people calling me mom and like mama. I was like, even with the nurses saying it when I was giving birth, I was like, shush. My name is Abby. I didn't identify with that yet. So now I'm like, don't think twice about it. But like, at that time, I remember just being like, Es war ein bisschen schrecklich. Warum? Warum war das so schrecklich?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und ich dachte, lass das nicht vor meiner Mutter sagen. Ich fühlte mich sogar weirder, wenn sie das vor meiner Mutter sagten. Sie ist die Mutter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich bin nicht die Mutter.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich fühlte mich so schrecklich. Aber ich fühlte mich nicht mehr so schrecklich. Ich hoffe, du hast deine Meinung verändert. Ich hoffe, dass die Mutter das herausfindet. I know you won't.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I want to know who's going to be playing with my little girl. It's so funny. We don't do any of the genetic testing stuff, so I felt like we didn't need to. I don't know. I wasn't going to find out. Yeah, that's why I found out at 20 weeks.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
But yeah, the anatomy scan was a good time. Good halfway, midpoint for me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I'm not going to make small talk anymore because they did mess up. I blame myself. I shouldn't have made small talk. I'm going to tell her, I don't want to know and I want you to zip it. You think it's a girl though. I do. But I'm going to tell them to zip it. Ich wollte eine Mädchen sein, die beste Freundin sein kann. Ich wollte so eine Mädchen sein. Hier ist das Ding.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich dachte auch, dass CJ eine Mädchen sein wird. Aber tief unten wusste ich, dass er ein Junge sein wird. Also ich weiß nicht, ob ich mir selbst verletzt habe. Ich glaube, dass ich mich selbst verletzt habe. Aber ich denke auch, dass Gott mir einen Traum geben wird. Er gab mir einen Traum, dass CJ, dass ich zweimal einen Junge geboren habe. Und ich war so, dass sie nicht ewige Träume waren.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, sie waren. Ja, sie waren. Eigentlich waren sie. Also ich denke, dass ich dir dieses Mal, was der Traum mir sagt. Okay. Hast du Träume gehabt? Nein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I have dreams I'm pregnant every night, unfortunately. Wow. Not every night. I would say it's my most common dream. Happens like, other people have dreams that I'm pregnant as well. Bella texted me the other day. She's like, take a test. I think you're pregnant. And I was like, I'm not.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
She's like, I just had a dream that you were.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And I was like, I am sure. I feel like I don't dream about the people in my life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay, I dream. That's why I know they're divine. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm pregnant with twins. Sometimes I have dreams that I woke up and I was 40 weeks pregnant and I was giving birth. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm about to have a baby and I didn't know I was pregnant. And these are stress dreams? I might have problems.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Actually, the other day I was describing a feeling that I have to Angel, who is a therapist. And she's like, Abby, that is dissociating. I was like, no, but it's like, I can just look back at my hands and I know that I'm in my body. And she's like, no, that is a grounding. That is a grounding exercise to get you to stop dissociating.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
She said, it's actually a textbook. I was like... Ich glaube, ich weiß, was das bedeutet. Ich habe das Gefühl, dass ich das als Kind zu ihr hatte. Kann ich es dir erklären? Ja, ich bin eigentlich gespannt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Es ist ein Witz. Nein, ich bin mental in Ordnung. Ich bin wirklich in Ordnung. Aber seit ich als Kind war, konnte ich mich haben, dass ich das Gefühl hatte, dass ich es manchmal unintentional mache. Und dann habe ich gemerkt, dass ich es kontrollieren kann. Aber ich würde in einem Raum sitzen und mich zonen. Und ich würde sagen, was wäre, wenn ich... Ich könnte es in diesem Raum machen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Was wäre, wenn ich Addie wäre? Was wäre, wenn ich nicht mich selbst wäre? Und was wäre, wenn ich Addie wäre? Und es fühlt sich so an, als würden meine Gedanken aus meinem Kopf kommen. Ich denke nicht an meine eigenen Gedanken an diesem Punkt. Und ich fühle mich, als würde ich von Addies Perspektive denken. Aber dann geht es manchmal in Limbo. Ich bin nicht in jemandem Körper.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Meistens bleibt es so, dass ich in Limbo bin. Ich bin so, oh Gott, ich muss mich in meinem eigenen Körper bewegen. Ich muss mich in meinem eigenen Körper bewegen. Es sind meine Gedanken. Und ich bin so seltsam. Ich hätte nie jemandem dieses Gefühl gesagt. Weil manchmal würde es beginnen zu passieren und ich konnte es nicht kontrollieren. Und ich wäre so, oh Mann, es passiert.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich würde anfangen zu paniken. Ich bin so, oh nein, es beginnt zu passieren. Und ich will nicht in meinem eigenen Körper sein. Und ich hatte nicht wirklich Worte dafür. Und ich war auch so furchtbar, das den Leuten zu sagen. Ich war so, das ist so eine seltsame Sache. Ich bin so, es ist wahrscheinlich nur eine Sache von mir.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And then I explained to Angel, and I was like, but don't worry, I found a way to get it back in my body. If I just look down at my hands, then I know that I'm in my own perspective. She's like, that is actually textbook dissociating. I was like, you know what it sounds like to me?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Mein kleiner Bruder hat was gemacht? Das ist eine falsche Meinung. Ich weiß nicht, ob das eine falsche Meinung ist, aber das ist, was mein Gesicht sagt. Oh mein Gott. Das sind meine ersten Stretch-Marken.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Witchcraft. Ich bin witzig. Sie ist witzig. Ich bin nur verrückt. Das ist verrückt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
But I don't like it. Because I'm like, what if I stay outside in that limbo? Because sometimes it's hard for me to get back into my own brain. I don't know. Then other people are like, maybe you're just really empathetic. Which I'm like, maybe. But I don't know. Because sometimes it's not even necessarily an extremely emotional situation. It could be the most random. We're at McDonald's.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You are very empathetic, but I've never... I don't call myself an empath or anything like that, but that happens to me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wow, that makes sense. I feel like that makes sense with it being called disassociating. I feel like I've always heard that term, but I didn't know what that meant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
It's not happening at a point of trauma either. It literally happens at the most random times. Maybe it's when you start to doze off or something. Maybe. Like, it would happen to me in school. Like, I would be like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, not this. Not this right now. I never told anybody that. Like, until I was an adult. I was like, oh, that's what that is. Okay, great.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I was like, everyone, has anyone ever felt this way? I think it was at a book club.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And they were like, no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Is that where Angel said it? Yeah. She's across the room. She's like, um... I actually know what that is. I will diagnose that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Shut up! Did it feel better being...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Haben like words to put around it? Yes and no, because I feel like dissociating is used a lot nowadays, especially like around trauma. And so then I'm like, but I don't feel like I've gone through trauma. Like I don't feel like a victim of anything like that. So then I was like, but I don't deserve that title for this. It's really not, it's just a weird thing. My brain goes into like space.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
It's just normal. Yeah. Okay. So. No, Abby, I fully support your decision, whatever. I'm gonna be biting my nails and peeping my pants. Peeping my pants. On September, whatever, this baby comes. I'm so pumped. Maybe October. Do you have your girl and boy name? I know your girl name. You don't have to say it. I don't have another boy name. Caleb and I don't have to talk about that for a long time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We only had boy names. Girl names are tough.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I feel the opposite. I feel like there's so many good girl names, but I feel like boy names are hard.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I still have more boy names, but no girl names, which makes me feel like, I'm never gonna have a girl. And everyone tells me that. When they see me, they're like, if you have another baby, unfortunately it's gonna be another boy. I'm like, well, that's great. Oh, thank you. Actually, that's another hot take. I don't feel offended when people are like, do you want a girl?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't feel offended by that. I'm like, no. I mean, I would love a girl, but I'm not set on it. But I'm not offended by that. I don't feel like that makes me feel like I'm lacking anything. When people say that. Another thing, I know that people don't like saying this, so I don't say it to other people either. But when they're like, oh, you got your hands full.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
When people say that, I'm like, yeah, I do. Thank you actually for noticing. I'm like, yeah, I'm doing okay. Thank you for checking on me. I don't feel offended by it. I think people take it in a negative way when people aren't meaning it in a negative way. Maybe like...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I'm never under control. I guess I just don't care about people. I'm like, maybe I look, but I feel great. Yeah, that's actually true. I'm like, if they think I look crazy, but I feel great, and they call me crazy, I'm like, you don't even know what you're talking about. You're wrong. Yeah, that's actually what I'm saying. Thank you, sir or ma'am.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Everything right here is under control. No, the other thing that people get offended about is, what is it? Oh, this thing, this does rub me the wrong way. When they're like, it gets better. That's where I'm like... That feels so like, do I look like I'm unhappy? Because I'm actually the happiest person. I love this situation right here, right now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I'm fully, fully happy and actually overjoyed by what's happening.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Or when they're like, just wait until they start walking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Kann man sogar die Temperatur einladen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's for 2024. We're leaving that in 2024. We're leaving that in 2024.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Just wait until they start walking. It's amazing. It's the best thing ever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I actually say it. I'm like, wait, we're crushing it. We're always there. We're like, we're crushing it. We're killing it right now. We're crushing it. You're doing great. Everything is amazing. We love it when I put it together.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I do love a pussy, but I'm like, it's all in your head. If I tell myself it, it's true. No, literally, I'm like, let's just, that's me.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I'm like, you take a seat. Yeah, you are that way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I do have to actually function. I'm very excited to be an aunt two more times. Can I be your guys' night nurse? How do we feel about that? Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Actually. We'll put a day bed in the bedroom. We have a bed. I'm not gonna go to sleep. Yeah, that's true. You'll be nursing. I will be awake. Well, you won't actually be nursing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Just kidding.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, I was like, easy. Wait a minute. I don't want you to nurse my babies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's okay. I would pump for you. I would try to make milk come. Yeah. Something feels really off about that. No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber ich würde mich auch verletzen, wenn du sagst, ich werde das selbst tun. Ja. Du wirst dich auch ein wenig verändern, sobald du das Baby hast. Irgendwann. Aber ich denke, das wäre so cool. Das wäre lustig. Ich habe mir vorgestellt, dass meine Mutter hier sein wird.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah. I'll bring you some meals.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Abby, you had a C-Section.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Emergency. First time. Yeah. You talked about that a lot. If you want to know more about her birth experience last time, we have a whole episode on it. But, um... Do you think being pregnant again has made you process your birth experience any differently or just made you like change what you want to do for the future?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Actually having, actually doing the podcast that we did after CJ's birth was very healing for me. Really? And helped me process it a lot. Because I think the feelings I felt a lot, I'll just summarize it. Pushed for three and a half hours, emergency C-section, hemorrhaged. CJ war im NICU, also es gab einfach viele große, schreckliche Dinge, die passiert sind. Und ich fühlte mich super alleine.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Brilliant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nur weil Caleb mit CJ im NICU war, war ich alleine während all dem hemmeligen Sachen. Und... I was very scared thinking back. I had a lot of fear, like thinking back to some of those moments. But when I went on and shared, I had a lot of people message me that went through something similar. And it just felt less isolating. And so I think I was able to process that super well.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
They are killing it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And I think for the first maybe six, seven, eight months, I had anxiety thinking about going through labor again. But I also have a very distinct memory of when I was laying on the table. I remember that there was just stuff going on in my body while I was bleeding. And I was laying there and I thought, I would literally do this exact same thing all over again for another baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And so in the moment that was pretty intense and scary, I literally had that thought like, I want to do this again. And so this time I don't really have any fear or anxiety going into it. I've talked to three, our practice has multiple different doctors and they rotate. So I've talked to three of them about a VBAC and two of them were very positive and one gave me some warning about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So I feel like I have some different opinions on it, which is good. Like you want to know all the risks and things. But I feel pretty set on trying for VBAC, which is just a vaginal birth after cesarean, if no one's familiar with that. But yeah, we'll know closer as I get farther along.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I can see it happening. I feel like it's going to be a great, smooth, amazing V-back experience. I really think so.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
The doctors that were really positive about it, one of them was a doctor that gave birth, like did my whole birth, was there for the pushing and the C-section and everything after. And she said that she thought I'd be a good candidate for one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And then the doctor that had warning, which I thought he made a good point, because I did push for three and a half hours and I could see CJ's head the whole time. Er sagte, das könnte ein Zeichen sein, dass ich zu klein war und er nicht fit wäre. Und wenn ich also wieder drücken würde und dann wieder drücken und dann wieder zurück in die C-Sektion gehen, nach der Arbeit, wäre es gefährlich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Also, ich denke, es werden viele Dinge zu überlegen, aber ich bin auch ziemlich kompetent mit mir selbst und ich könnte nicht, ich denke, ich kann es. Ja. Also, wir sehen. Okay. You got this. You got this. Yeah, we'll see though. We'll touch back when I'm like 7, 8, 9 months pregnant. Can't make the babies go in. Yeah, we'll see how I'm feeling. Because maybe babies breach this time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You never know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You have zero expectations.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oder vielleicht zuerst, dann zu zweit. Weil ich glaube, bevor du durchgehst, bist du irgendwie... It feels so imaginary. I'm so curious to see what my... I don't know what my body is going to do.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's good for people to know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So I'm so curious to see... I think most of my friends have had really beautiful births. And so that always gives me hope. We're not the majority.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't feel like mine was that bad, personally. Yeah, I know Matt maybe says different. Yeah, Matt's scared.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wenn ich über deine Geburt mit Griffin höre, war das ziemlich furchtbar. Vielleicht habe ich mich verabschiedet. Vielleicht hast du es gemacht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Vielleicht warst du der Arzt im Raum. Vielleicht habe ich es gemacht, weil ich tatsächlich, als es wirklich intensiv war, ich habe mich selbst gesehen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist cool. Du hast dich verabschiedet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich habe meine Augen gesehen und es war schwarz.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That doesn't seem good. I was about to, like... Like, encourage it? It was black. I mean, it probably helped you get through something that was super hard.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Totally. Afterwards, I was happy as a clam.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Er zerstört sich, aber er gibt keinen Geburtstag. Also ich fühle mich, was du über den Geburtstag sagst. Auch ich mit Matt, als ich die ersten Kontraktionen hatte, als ich spät war, war er so, sind wir in den Krankenhaus gegangen? Und ich war so, ich habe ihn nie so gesehen. Ich war so, Mann, ich habe dich gerade mit dem Finger verpackt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich erinnere mich an die Woche, als wir von dem Krankenhaus nach Hause kamen. Wir hatten natürlich einfach eine Surgery. Und Louis, mein 100-Kilogramm-Vogel, ist direkt auf meinen Körper gestiegen am Morgen, als ich noch schlafen musste. Das wird mir passieren, ich weiß es. Es war tatsächlich sehr schrecklich, weil ich dachte, dass ich intern blutig war. Ich war nicht. Ich war einfach überrascht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist so schrecklich. Das macht mich so schrecklich. Es war wirklich schrecklich. Oh, ich erinnere mich, was ich sagen wollte. Ich denke nicht, dass ich dieses Mal enttäuscht werde. Ich weiß nur, dass mein Körper es nicht gut behandelt hat. Obwohl es natürlich eine gewisse Erkrankung gibt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, ich denke, das ist ein guter Ziel. Ich wollte nicht mit Griffin verabredet werden.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich meine, deine Chance, eine C-Sektion zu haben, ist statistisch viel höher.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Interessant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Mein Arzt würde sagen, dass du statistisch nicht höher bist. Statistisch. Aber sie würde sagen, dass ich der Verrückte war.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Interessant.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich glaube, es gibt einige... Oh, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not a fact. I'm so sorry. No one comes here for facts. I had one doctor say that if you get induced, your chances of having a C-section go up. And then I had another doctor tell me that's not... Das war nicht das Studium. Also ich denke, es wird ein konfliktierendes Studium sein. Nein, nein, nein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Weil wenn du verabschiedet wirst, kannst du nicht weitergehen. Ja. Weil dein Körper nicht bereit war. War nicht bereit dafür.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich erinnere mich nur daran, sie zu beheben, um mein Wasser zu brechen. Weil ich dachte, was? Aber dann könnten sie es nicht. Weil sie könnten dich zurückholen wollen. Ich wusste nicht, dass das ein Teil war. Ich wusste, dass jemand versucht hat, verabschiedet zu werden und zurück zu gehen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Anyway, it's going to be great.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We're not giving medical advice.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We're not giving medical advice. In fact, it's a fact. It's still on the air. This is entertainment. This is entertainment.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I actually want to read some of the questions that our producer... Das ist Unterhaltung.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wir sind nicht hier für medizinische Vorschläge, politische Vorstellungen. Wir sind nicht hier für medizinische Vorschläge, politische Vorstellungen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay. I didn't know that was something you didn't have.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I would have bought you a bunch. I just used the big pads. Oh, the adult diapers. I just let CJ pee on himself. I thought you just got home from the hospital. Wait, we need diapers?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I will use diapers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's hilarious.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't remember much about postpartum.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So sweaty. I take two or three showers a day. I don't think I'll do anything. I actually think I did great postpartum. You crushed it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I actually remember being like, man, Abby has it so together. Why am I struggling so much? You didn't make me feel that way. It was my own journey. That was just going downhill.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't remember feeling like Oh, ich fühlte mich unvorbereitet. Ich denke, ich will die Stiefel für mich selbst zum nächsten Mal. Okay, ich liebe es. Das war dein erster Gedanke.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nein, du musst die Stiefel und die... Was ist das? Foam. Oh mein Gott, was ist das? Derma? Dermoplast.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Dermoplast. I need a whole kick. I didn't end up needing any of that. Even though I pushed and things were getting stretched out down there. I only needed it for Griffin. I didn't tear anything. So after like two days in the hospital, I wasn't sore down there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I didn't like that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Well, they actually give you a bunch of stuff at the hospital. True, true, true.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I didn't actually like the Freedom Mom underwear, because they actually hurt my C-Section scar. I had the C-Section and the non-C-Section ones.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I liked the underwear. I actually want a belly bind next time I have another baby. I think I would do that, too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That was a mistake that I didn't do that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You like... It holds you together, because I remember laying in bed... Oh, like one of the... Okay. Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist ein guter. Das ist das, was ich für ein drittes Potenzial gedacht habe. Ja, Bellybind und Diapers. Und Diapers. Okay. Eigentlich hatte ich eine Side Note. Ich habe meine Vögel nicht als traumatisch gesehen, weil es fast keine Zeit gedauert hat, bis ich wieder krank wurde. Und mein Doktor war so, du wirst das nie wieder tun. Das war wirklich schrecklich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und das war wirklich, wie sie mich irgendwie gefeuert hat.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich erinnere mich daran, weil ich Griffin verheiratet habe, als du heimgekommen bist. Und du sagst, mein Doktor hat mir nur gesagt, dass ich eine C-Section habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das war nicht wahr.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Sie war sehr aufgeregt darüber. Sie sagte, ich war da. Sie sagte, ich war da und es war sehr gefährlich. Und ich war so, oh. Und sie sagte, aber ich will nicht. Und sie sagte, du kannst es nicht erledigen. Ich weiß nicht, ob sie mich im Krankenhaus erledigen würden. Wahnsinnige Zeiten.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wie verhindern Sie die Vergleiche in Bezug auf die Mutter und den erwarteten Vater in der Beziehungsdynamik mit deinem Mann? That's kind of a difficult question. Let's just simplify it to how do you avoid comparison? I don't feel like any of us are actually the kind of comparing type, now that I think about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I feel like there's an aspect of like we're all winging this and learning as we go. So I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. They don't know what they're doing. So I can't judge or I, oh, I liked that. I'll try that. You know, I think it's just taking things like, oh, I did like that. Oh, I don't know if I would do it that way, but I don't know if it's right or wrong.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Because you're like, I don't know. Yeah, I think so. We also have different kids. I don't know. This is a part of me that I'm like, yes, I don't know what I'm doing. But I don't know. Something about being a mom. Something filled me with so much self-assuredness and confidence in my abilities as a mom. I don't relate to...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't want this to come across as, like, egotistical or as, like, I think I have everything figured out because that's not the way that I am. Like, that's not, genuinely not the way that I feel, but, like, a sense of confidence that is, like, unbreakable filled me when I became a mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Like, not when I was pregnant and, honestly, I don't know when I first noticed it, but then I was, like, I'm going to always make the best possible decision for this child that I, like, that I see fit personally. And so, like, I'm never, like, I don't know. I think that that's something that, like, comparison can't really...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
crack at i think that makes i think that's a hundred percent true yeah like you feel that way too yeah it's like i love cj so much like i'm like i would never this kid better than anybody in the world here yeah i'm not intentionally gonna do anything to harm him or i'm gonna do things to the best of my ability so if i'm doing it to the best of my ability then i can just have peace that that's my best and maybe i'm like other people do have higher caps than me
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und manche Leute haben eine niedrigere Kapazität. Ich werde mich also nicht mit jemandem vergleichen, der sagt, sie können eine Million Meilen pro Stunde fahren. Ich werde mich nicht vergleichen. Ich fahre einfach nicht so schnell. Ich weiß nicht, ich fühle mich nicht... Ja, es ist wahrscheinlich so, dass du dich selbst kennst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Du kennst dich selbst und dein Kind. Und du denkst dir, das ist, wie wir rollen. Die beiden von uns. Ich bin interessiert, wie du dich fühlst.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wenn es passiert, denke ich, dass es vielleicht kurz passiert. Verstehe mich nicht falsch. Wenn es passiert, fühle ich mich nicht weniger, weil ich das mache. Aber ich fühle mich wirklich, ich weiß nicht, mein Hot Take auch nicht Hot Take. Ich muss eigentlich stoppen, das zu sagen. Meine Meinung ist, dass unsere heutige Kultur Anxious Parenting feiert.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh mein Gott, das war das, was ich sagen wollte. Ehrlich?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Schluss mit deinem Gedanken. Nein, du gehst weiter. Das ist mein Tipp an alle Moms. Ich habe gesagt, lerne weniger. Das ist so, wie ich es fühle. Finde es für mich aus und erzähl mir, was ich tun muss. Warum habe ich so viel Zeit auf der Internetseite recherchiert? Was zu tun, wenn dein Baby am Abend nicht schläft? Was zu tun, wenn dein Baby Colic ist? Was zu tun, wenn dein Baby nicht trinkt?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das oder das Und das ist das Wichtigste davon. Das ist das Wichtigste vom Internet. Ich brauche es nicht vorher zu wissen. Ich brauche es nicht vorher zu stressen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber sobald die Dinge kommen, hast du dann die Möglichkeit, wir haben das Internet, wir haben Ärzte, wir haben Freunde, Familie, die uns mit Antworten helfen können. Aber um mich vorher über Dinge zu erschrecken, ich erinnere mich, ich habe ein...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
nursing class through my insurance and that class stressed me out so much and i retained literally nothing and i'm like breastfeeding is gonna be crazy i don't even understand the schedule the minute cj was there and the nurses were there they help you like my nurses helped me they taught me the schedule they said every two hours write it down keep a log of this
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
And then I didn't have to worry about it from then on. Moms, even our own moms did not have that type of access because it's not necessary. It can be a tool. But I think we're not using it as a tool. We're more so in general, generally speaking, using it um unsere eigene Angst zu ernähren und unsere eigene Angst zu ernähren. Angst ist ein natürlicher Teil eines Elterns.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich denke, dass es damit nichts falsch ist. Aber die Angst-Komponente, das ist nicht etwas, das wir präsentieren sollten. Und es ist auch etwas, das wir kümmern sollten, wenn die Eltern das erleben. Aber es ist etwas, das wir... Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wenn sie fühlen, dass ihre Eltern so anstrengend sind, dann fühlen sie sich wahrscheinlich nicht so sicher, Risiken zu nehmen oder neue Dinge zu probieren oder sich in verschiedene Wege herauszufinden. Ich war manchmal anstrengend, besonders nach dem Postpartum, frisch über Dinge. Und natürlich, wenn meine Kinder krank sind.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber dann auch, als ich endlich war, mich in der Selbstvertrauen zu lassen, die ich tatsächlich fühlte. Ich war so, ich werde das gewinnen lassen, weil ich denke, dass das mich eine bessere Mutter machen wird. And parent better.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't know. I don't know if I'm explaining that well. I think that makes sense. No, totally. And you'll enjoy the process a little more. Totally.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Because nothing can really throw you off that much.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh, mein Gehirn. Ich denke, es gibt eine... Wir sprechen nicht von Angst, die aus Hormonen kommt. Nein, ja, ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist wahrscheinlich, was du... Ich denke, das ist wahrscheinlich, was du erlebst. Es gibt eine... Ich will nicht sagen, irrationale Angst, weil... Nein, ich fühle mich so.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, nein, sicher. Aber ja, wenn du das erlebst... Es ist ein ganz anderes Symptom. Ich denke, das ist wirklich normal. Ich habe viele Freunde, die eine Pregnanz und Postpartum-Anxiety haben. Und das ist wie eine Diagnose.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, ich denke, ich hatte das, ich will nicht sagen Depression, aber ich weinte jeden Tag, als ich krank war. Manchmal war es nicht mal traurig, ich weinte einfach.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Deine Hormone können verrückte Dinge tun. Das ist das Einzige, was ich hormonisch bemerkt habe.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wer kümmert sich? Du bist so... We need to talk about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
He's always good about that. He's always like, oh, you're having anxiety about this?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I definitely think that's a pregnancy thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I was going to say, there are some tools. I don't have them off the top of my head, but I can find them and send them to you that are like coping mechanisms.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Du processierst nach dem Faktum. Und ich mache das auch. Und dann schaue ich manchmal zurück und denke mir, oh mein Gott, das war ein wirklich stressvoller Zeitpunkt. Oder das war wirklich verrückt. Und in dem Moment, ich habe es nicht unbedingt erkannt, aber dein Körper zeigt Beweise, dass du Stress oder Angst hast, bevor du es eigentlich erkennst, dass das so ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und ich denke, es sind viele Dinge los. Du und Blake bist bereit, eine neue Babyfrau in deine Familie zu begrüßen. Und... Ich meine, das ist es. Das ist eine massive Sache.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich denke, das macht Sinn, warum du Angst fühlst. Total. Ja, ich glaube nicht, dass die Angst selbst immer rational ist oder Sinn macht, warum man sich über die Frage kümmert, wenn man sich nicht über die Begegnung kümmert oder über die Dinge, die man eigentlich, die großen Dinge, die man in seinem Leben hat.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber ich denke, es ist nur ein Symptom, um versuchen zu versuchen, wie man diese großen Lebensveränderungen navigieren kann.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, vielleicht fängst du es am frühen Ende an und ich habe es am späten Ende gefangen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, das wäre das Ziel. Ja, ich fühle mich wirklich sicher, dass ich Du wirst so viel Frieden fühlen, wenn dein Baby hier ist. Weißt du was? Ich hatte so viele Freunde. Ich bin so, dass das nicht oft online geteilt wird. Aber so viele persönliche, echte Freundinnen sind so. Ich habe immer gefühlt, als wäre ich in einem Kampf-oder-Flight-Stage. Und dann hatte ich mein Baby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und ich fühlte mich so viel calmer. Und so viel mehr Frieden. Und ich weiß nicht. Wenn du lebst... I don't know. Your life, how you were supposed to live it, I think there is just like a, I don't know, a calm, that doesn't even make sense, but like there's just like a calm that comes over you, like a peace. Showing kids on social media versus not.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
No.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
No, because someone else asked me this. They're like, do you think about all the people that follow you or view your stuff? And I said, honestly, and this isn't self-deprecating, but like you guys are on such a massive scale that to me, I'm like, no one follows me. You know what I mean? Like no one's looking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I don't want everyone that watches this podcast better go follow Abby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Go follow Abby. But you know what I mean? I'm like, you guys are on such a different scale of things where I'm like, people magazine or writing articles about your family. There's gonna be a different level or like... I think there's gonna be just a different level of precautions that you're gonna have to take.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Whereas with CJ too, I don't... We're not always gonna show CJ or our kids, but I think as they're little, it hasn't hurt me or I haven't noticed things that I felt unsafe about online with him yet. But I also... I'm only going to show him in a positive light. I'll never share the bad. I'm never going to share him crying or throwing fits. Because he does that all the time. He always.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
He doesn't show them that. He's an angel child. But I think there's a tendency for people in the name of authenticity or vulnerability to show the realities of parenting. But I'm like, I'm not actually going to put him in a light online that looks bad. It's okay if it's my highlight reel. I think I kind of... Für ihn. Ja.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Und ja, ich denke, es wird ein Punkt kommen, wo er zu einem Alter kommt, und ich denke nicht, dass wir so weit davon sind, dass ich ihn nicht mehr zeige.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, like I'm hearing you say, like you're like, I have boundaries around it. It's not just because you show it, like that's such a weird place to place the boundary.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
It's not just one and done. It's so personal too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
There's like a scale. Yeah. You're thinking that way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, I think there's a level, like sometimes I think about, oh, am I posting him too much? Because I don't actually want people to have that much access to him.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You know what I'm saying? I think I do think about it a lot. But yeah, I think it's like when he goes from being a little baby, a little toddler to like a little boy, I think there'll be a line that's probably like, Er wird nicht Teil davon sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ja, es ist nicht schwer. Ich glaube nicht, dass Abby eine schlechte Mutter ist. Ich glaube nicht, dass Abby eine schlechte Mutter ist. Ich glaube nicht, dass Abby eine schlechte Mutter ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Unsere heutige Kultur feiert Anxious Parenting. Worry ist ein natürlicher Teil eines Vorgängers. Da ist nichts falsch damit. Aber die Anxiety-Komponente ist etwas, das wir durchgehen müssen. Was wirst du im Nachhinein anders machen?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
saving those memories i'm like we have so many memories of like wow you really think you have 100 access to my camera i promise i take pictures that are not posted i get to that all the time i'm like at the end of the day i'm like oh crap i'm gonna post a story today and i like it's literally just my kids literally just them doing everything that they did throughout the day
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber ja, ich denke, das geht auch wieder zurück in die Vergleiche, wo ich denke, es gibt keine Part von mir, die sich in irgendeinem Sinne fühlt, weil ich denke, das ist zwischen dir und deinem Baby. Das ist ein seltsamerer. Also, wenn du nichts denkst, gehen wir einfach weiter. Was ist eine Geschichte, die dir über Matt und Abby stand? Könnte lustig, emotional, überraschend sein.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Das ist so breit. Also, wenn du nichts denkst, können wir einfach etwas anderes machen. Wie in Bezug auf das Parenting?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh, yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
The only way, I'll just never forget this, we'd be sitting in your kitchen and then Augie would start screaming. And the only way to calm him down, it was middle of August, would be to put him in the Solly wrap and you guys would full sprint. Right.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I was also a little sad. To get him to nurse, I had to do the same thing. It's very unfortunate because I had to be topless. Just like running and holding him like a torpedo. Post C-Section. I was just like, why do you need this type of spirit? That just honestly matches his energy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I love it. Das ist das, was Matt mir vorhin gesagt hat. Ich denke wirklich, dass Auggie meine Persönlichkeit hat und Griffin deine. Griffin ist empathisch, sensitiv, liebt zu lesen. Und Auggie ist so...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I always laugh and I always tell people about that. I'm like, you'll figure out exactly what your baby needs. Even if it's the craziest thing. I don't know how you even figure that out. We had been exhausted. I know. I'm like, you guys are great parents.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Just had to cocoon him and then sprint. Laugh. You couldn't just cocoon and sway. That was not gonna do it. That was not gonna do it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's too gentle for her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
It had to be forward trajectory also.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We'd be having serious conversations and I'd be doing laps around the island.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Aber er ist so glücklich, wenn Leute dich auf den richtigen Moment fangen. Sie sind so glücklich. Sie sind so glücklich. Sie sind so glücklich.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You're probably like your brother's sister or your sister's crazy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
We were on the family cousins trip and Matt made you get up and do a boat. He didn't make you, but you guys did this boat dance. I wasn't volunteering it. It's not my family, it's my married family. But you guys got up and you did this dance on the boat. All our aunts and uncles and cousins were all just sitting there watching. What in Missouri, like right here, right now? It's so funny.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
So excited! Okay, am I gonna be in the room when you guys are having movies?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I love you so much, but I will not be there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I didn't want my own mom there either. Yeah, I was like, I just kind of wanted to be me and Matt and total strangers.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yeah, I feel like for the multiples, like when we get into three and four, I'd probably have my mom in my room. Really? Don't hold me to that, Mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I think my mom was kind of offended that I didn't have her in the room.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I feel like for the first... It's very intimate. And it's such a milestone life change. And I'm like, I just want to experience that with Caleb. But I think for the others, it'd be fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
My mom's a good suck it up lady. She'd be like, suck it up, Abby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
He literally cannot keep himself away from the kids. He just sneaks out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
If he's like that with Griffin, his parts would melt. He tells me stories like five times. The same story about something Griffin did, something Augie did. He replays the video. I literally hear the video while he's going to the bathroom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I'm like, is Griffin awake right now? I thought he was asleep. I'm like, oh, it's just dad watching that video over the 20th time in the bathroom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Wait, your dad too will be so sweet. I thought I loved being your dad at the gender reveal. I was like, oh my gosh, he's so fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I know, it's so sweet. I'm like, he's going to be a great grandpa. Sweet. And my mom's going to be just like so involved.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Big year. Lots of things happening.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I actually think I've done that for podcasts. You have.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You're a working mama. Working mama.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's my hope for you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
No, I want you to wait till I get pregnant again. Abby, the other day you told me that I can have another baby when you have your fourth and I was literally about to throw up. I was like, shut up right now. I was trying to give you reassurance. I don't want that. I don't even want to wait till you're third.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Please. I'm trying to reassure you. You don't have to have it right now if you don't want it. You gotta be pregnant with someone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
When you said that, I was like, Abby, shut up. We're hoping you scratch the itch. It will for sure.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
It's so funny.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay, well, I'm so happy I can't wait to see you, Nancy. It's a big year. Follow them both. Follow Abby. Follow Addie. I don't know if Addie wants followers. You can follow her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Yes, follow Abby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Es ist eine Packung von 50. Strip-Tests. Du hast einen Test gemacht, basierend auf deinem Herzwert. Du hattest nicht mal Symptome.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Es ist so verrückt, dass du, auch wenn du weißt, dass du Dinge gemacht hast, um ein Baby zu machen, wenn du findest, dass es immer noch schockierend ist.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Es ist immer noch überraschend. Das ist so, wie es funktioniert? Was? I think what's weird about it is like when you find out, it's like something that's already happening. It's not like something that's just started. You're like, wait, it has been this way. You're like finding something about yourself that you didn't, I don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich denke, ich werde dieses Mal Schuhe kaufen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich wusste nicht, dass du Schuhe kaufen würdest.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich habe nur den großen Pad benutzt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Er kann nicht online veröffentlicht werden.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Welcome back to the Unplanned Podcast. I am so excited today to be joined by my sweet sister-in-laws, Addie and Abby, who are both pregnant right now. This is literally the best year ever. I'm so convinced that this is just going to be the happiest year. We're going from having between the three of us, three to five, almost doubling. That's very impressive. That's a summer camp.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Oh mein Gott.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
You mean you don't sleep in matching jammies every night?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
His protectiveness over you has been super sweet.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Du sagst mir und dann steckst du es auf die Registrierung. Er ist genau wie mein Vater. Wie mein Vater ist, wie er wäre derjenige, der sich über alles beschäftigt. Und so habe ich Matt einmal gesagt, ich war so, ich glaube, ich hatte nur ein bisschen wie Revolution, Revolution. Revolution? Revolution? Revolution? Revolution! Revolution!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Manchmal verursache ich das, was du tust, wenn du deine ruhige Natur als nicht liebst, weil mein Vater mich liebte, weil er sich über mich kümmert. Und ich war so, du bist nicht über mich kümmert, also liebst du mich nicht. Er ist so, nein, ich kümmere mich nicht über dich, weil es nicht meine Natur ist. Ich bin kein Müller. Und ich bin so, oh. Okay. It just took nine years.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Because I kind of put the pieces together. I was like, oh, you have to worry about me. But that was just my family. My dad would never be super outwardly affectionate. Exactly. But he was worried about me. So he loved me. I kind of put two and two together in my mind. But that's funny. So then Abby... You were on vacation. Did you know that? That's what Teresa told me, our mother-in-law.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
She was like, oh, I figured that they were going to, because they were in Mexico. I think they were going to figure they were going to. Figure we were going to what? Make a baby. Wow, die Konversationen, die ihr habt mit ihm. Ja, sicher.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich wusste schon, dass du ein Baby machst. Das war auch geplant. Ja. Dein erster war nicht.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nein, CJ war eine glückliche Überraschung.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Okay. Und dann, ja, also dieses Mal, wir haben schon über mein ganzes Arbeit nach dem Es ist auf dem Podcast passiert. Also, wenn du dich interessierst, kannst du das zurückholen. Aber meine Ärzte sind ziemlich fest daran, 18 Monate zu warten, damit mein Körper völlig heilt.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Also, als das 18-Monats-Markt kam, das war nur ein paar Monate hervorragend, habe ich gesagt, okay, lass mich zum Arzt gehen, habe sie kontrolliert, alles, habe sie darüber gesprochen, bekomme das grüne Licht. Und dann war das, glaube ich, November. Und dann Dezember. Ich war so, ich glaube, wir sind nicht ganz bereit. Es war über Weihnachtsabend.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Ich dachte, dass ich zu spät war auf meinem Zeitpunkt. Ich habe zwei Tests genommen und sie waren beide Sekunden. Du warst zu spät, warst du nicht? Yeah, I was like five days late, which was weird. It just happened randomly? Yeah, unless I just miscounted. Because I don't track it on an app. I just write the date down and it comes. Apps are free and so easy. I know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
I know somebody who does it physically on a piece of paper. I'm like, that's crazy to me. For some reason, the idea of having another app on my phone stresses me out. So I just write it down on a list.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
That's a little different, Abby. It's a little, yeah. This episode of the Unplanned Podcast is brought to you by Wild Green.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
My sisters-in-law on pregnancy, surprise gender reveals & VBACs
Nein, es ist wirklich, wirklich schön, weil auch wenn du ein Baguette oder was auch immer frisches Brot verkaufst, das gleiche Tag, es fängt sofort an, ein bisschen, weißt du, es ist verrückt, wie schnell Brot einfach nicht riecht, aber wenn du es selbst backst, gibt es etwas darüber, wie Homebaked, wie der Geruch, der dein Zuhause füllt.
This American Life
361: Fear of Sleep
And she would say, yes, Michael, go to bed, there's no jackal.
Up First from NPR
Trapped in a Social Safety Net
So I'm basically living on a thin line and I want to be able to live each day, you know, being able to do what I want to do, which is work.
Up First from NPR
Trapped in a Social Safety Net
John, did you happen to, like, put together what we talked about?
Up First from NPR
Trapped in a Social Safety Net
It's like my foundation's falling apart. My medical expenses are so much. Hundreds of thousands a year. Do you not want me to work then? Because I can be a VP at JPMorgan Chase. I pay a lot of taxes being a VP at JPMorgan Chase. Or I could just not work and collect.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
One of my favorite parts about the holiday this year was our recent stay when we went to go visit Glenn and Abby's family in LA, but we stayed in our own Airbnb a few blocks away. It was the best of both worlds because look, you've got your privacy. You've got your own refrigerator. You've got your own beds, multiple beds, by the way, and your own bathroom. And you know what?
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Then you can have your own bedtimes. It was just so nice to wake up in our own cozy place and have our own family time and then rejoin the larger family for the Christmas festivities and then retreat when everyone needed a little breather. So here's the deal.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Whether you're traveling with family or friends, those extra rooms, the fully stocked kitchen, not only saves you a bunch of money, but it also makes a huge difference in If you're flying solo, you can make your stay your own little sanctuary. If you're planning a winter getaway this year, I highly recommend giving Airbnb a try. Trust me, it's an experience you won't regret.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Okay, I'm excited to tell you today about Midi Health. If you have heard... our menopause episodes, you know how passionate I feel about women having access to information about their bodies and about something that so fundamentally affects their lives. Here's the deal. If you're over 40 and you're starting to experience some of the symptoms of perimenopause or menopause,
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
If you're having hot flashes, insomnia, brain fog, moodiness, all of this can be related to perimenopause or menopause. Log on to MidiHealth. I have done this. It is easy. In fact, I have recently been pursuing with MidiHealth hormone therapy to replace some of the hormones that are diminishing in my body.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Their clinicians, they meet with you and they suggest specialized care for your health concerns. It's all through telehealth and 24-7 messaging services. and they call in your prescriptions to your local pharmacy. You deserve to feel great. Book your virtual visit today at JoinMidi. That's JoinM-I-D-I dot com.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Speaking of helpful, you are the mastermind behind one of the most revolutionary, groundbreaking portrayals of... big women on screen ever. And I'm obviously talking about the Fat Babe Pool Party episode of Shrill, which became just instant classics, so important to so many people. Can you tell us why you wrote that and what that whole process was like for you?
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
But don't you think it all goes back to your view of life? Sam, your view of life is I want to find the absurd. I want to experience the absurd. I want to be part of seeing, being part of this, experiencing this. And so you intersect with people who can bring that out of you or share that experience with you. Glennon's view of life is very different than that.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
She's like, I'm going to have a very narrow but deep experience of life. And I don't actually want to participate in any extracurriculars. Right. Right.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
That was brave of you. That was a very brave thing to say, is this getting romantic? How did you muster that up?
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
But I think the reverse is also equally important that in this age where everyone is called to be an individual expert on myriad things happening in the world, that it is okay to be a listener. Yes. Not everyone needs to be speaking all the time. It is okay to take your moment and learn your thing and just be a receiver as opposed to a distributor of news.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Yes. Also, next right thing. Find one person to share your lava with.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
What you just described at the funeral, this is my whole question about humor. Is humor a way to deflect and hide from reality? Or is it actually... the most real reality because it's like, everything's absurd all the time. Even the very sorrowful things are outrageously absurd. So are we like using it as a shield of armor to protect us from reality?
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
Or is it actually the most active engagement with reality is to be like, this shit is funny.
Up First from NPR
Time to Leave
I have a quick follow up to that. So in the shirt situation. Yeah. The funniness gets you through that moment. Right. Because you're disarming her. You're disarming you. You're taking it away. But is the underlying. Oh, I want to die. Yeah. Yeah, you still have to deal with the underlying stuff, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
This is a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax. Now taxes is 100% free when you file in the TurboTax app if you're a first-time filer or didn't file with TurboTax last year. That's right. Just do your own taxes in the TurboTax app by 2-18. Had a few jobs last year? It's free. Have a lot of forms? Yep, still free. Have a bunch of new invisible crypto coins? Heads up, it's still free.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
We just got this package from Symbiotica and I'm so excited. I've used their liposomal glutathione and the vitamin C and they're my favorite products by far. The liposomal form gets it into your system and actually gets it to the places that you need it to be. So that especially during the winter times and the colds and all the things, I just need my system and my immune system to be like strong.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
and capable of going outside and not worrying about getting sick. And that's what Symbiotica is giving me. It's giving me for real belief in my body.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
High quality, holistic wellness, right at your fingertips. Be present and feel your best for life's most memorable moments. Go to symbiotica.com slash Glennon for 20% off your order plus free shipping today. That's symbiotica.com slash glennon for 20% off your order plus free shipping. I want to go along that lines because I think it's really important what you're talking about.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
And I'm sure that there's a lot of people listening that can totally relate to that experience of being triggered. I'm in a position where I can actually see the trigger happen on Glennon. And so my question is, how does Charlie... interact with you, when he feels or sees a trigger happen to you, what are ways that he helps you through those moments where you're feeling triggered? Is he helpful?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
I think it'd be really helpful for our listeners to have some language around something, a way that he interacts with you.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
Unfinished business.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
And it's tricky to see that I might have caused a trigger and to not take that as personally, because like you said, Lily, it's not as personal. It's bringing up some sort of past. And so the first part of our relationship, I was like, I've done something wrong. And then I go into a shame spiral.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
Is it Go Campaign or G-O?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
Convinced you saw Bigfoot even if your friends don't believe you? That has absolutely nothing to do with taxes, but you better believe it's still absolutely free. Just download and do your own taxes in the TurboTax app by 218. All tax forms. All 100% free. Now this is taxes. See if you qualify in the TurboTax app. Excludes TurboTax Live. Must start and file in-app by 2-18.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
I mean, first of all, I'm very simple. I'm like, oh, my eyes see thing is something it likes. You're beautiful. That's that's literally it.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
This episode is brought to you by Ring cameras and doorbells. A lot happens while you're away from home. That's why Ring makes it easy to check in from anywhere. Whether you're saying hi to an unexpected guest, making sure those packages are safe, or keeping your pets company, my favorite, while you're out grabbing groceries, it's all a few taps away, right from your phone. Be there with Ring.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins (Best Of)
Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits, and more right now at ring.com.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yeah, we'll see. We'll see how it goes. You know, she's cool. And my voice would be up there. And then when I met Stephanie, I noticed I was talking from this really honest place that was right here where I would say, I like her so much. She is the greatest. Oh, my gosh. She's so funny. And I noticed... I was not talking from that place.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I was always like, we'll see, you know, or this is, and then I went, Oh my gosh. And, um, I think what's up. That's good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I it's what I heard was it's toodle. And so I thought, well, let me just check in and see what toodle means. But anyway, so when I noticed I was speaking from that place, I imagine I was talking to everybody from that place about her. And I just I don't know. Maybe that's what it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
That's what I'm kind of chalking it up to is maybe my friends were like, oh, this is not a situation where Tiggs, you know. What did you have?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But you also had that vibe of people going, wow, I've never heard you talk about somebody. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And at the same time that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
What were you thinking about or pursuing? I mean.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
People like men's bodies? Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I don't even think men's bodies are gross.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yeah, I am human. And and it's not it's not just easy street knowing that there's any sort of. Regret or something. Gosh, I hope it's not regret. I don't even know. It's it's more terrifying. I think if people are holding these secrets or thoughts, that's when things get.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
rough yeah and as rough as the conversations are or exploration or thoughts um i think it's that's easier to get through than um being confined with those private thoughts or concerns and i assumed that if we were together that
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
no matter if it was a woman, a man, a tree, a non-binary person, trans, whoever it was that, um, Stephanie or even myself that anybody could potentially think, Oh, is that person attractive? Or how do I feel about this? Or how I know that Stephanie is a human being and, um, And so it's complex. But I also know so deeply that we love each other so, so much. And we enjoy each other. And we...
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
we have so much together. We also have a lot of problems and issues. Hey, but, but because we're alive and we're together, but I want to have those problems and issues with Stephanie.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yeah, I for sure had a big growth spurt in this relationship because we have a 15-year difference between us. And when we got together... Well, I don't mean to sound like a mathematician, but we were much younger. And, you know, even though I'd been in relationships, I was essentially single in the way that I wasn't married and the way I handled money or my house or whatever it was.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
my time, I was calling the shots. And then when Stephanie and I got together, I feel silly saying again, she was much younger, but we met when I was 25. Yeah. Wow. And so. Time went on and she was like, listen, I'm older. I have my career now. I have my money. I have all of these things. And...
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
this is, and I know this people will probably hear this and say, well, of course you're separate people. And of course, fine. I'm telling you, I'm, I was for sure calling the shots of like the house and where the money was going to be spent. And, and I had to look at myself and go, Right. We're married. We're together. This is our house. This is our money.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But that's also exciting because I'm a brand new person and we continue to each become brand new people. And that's great. But there was a huge Tawanda moment. And by the way, I am mid Tawanda myself. I just told my therapist that the other day because I was like, I think I'm starting to Tawanda. How? I must know. How is Tawanda manifesting?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Can somebody explain Tawanda to me? Oh, babe. Sorry. Well, it's very gay. I'm surprised you don't know. But on Fried Green Tomatoes, when Kathy, did you see that? Of course you did.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
We'll watch it this afternoon. I'm sorry. I never saw it. You never saw it. Well, Kathy Bates, how would you describe Tawanda?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
By the way, you weren't in a terrible marriage. You said Tawanda. I know, but I was joking because you were like, you have to watch the movie.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I'm Tawanda-ing right now. I'm realizing... Well, I mean, I don't know if I need to go into all of the Tawanda-ing. I think you do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
On a very serious note, I've had a lot of unsettling things happen in the past few years, and I've lost a lot of grounding people. Well, I mean, it's unearthing to have... My spouse go to wandering and then, and then as I had this guy that cut my hair for 16 years in my house, pass away two days before the pandemic. And then the pandemic is unsettling.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
My manager of forever got out of the business and I've, my stepfather passed away on the anniversary of my mother. 10 years later, I've just felt a little like, what's happening and what the ground underneath me is a little unsteady. And so it's made me look around like, what's your role? What do you do? Do you make sense in my life? I need to feel secure right now. I really need to feel secure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And in that, I felt like when something doesn't feel right, I am, and I'm very confrontational in if I need something or want something. I'm very forward. But it's... Tawanda-ing. It's Tawanda-ing, where I'm like, this does not work for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
In a way that I have not before, as much as I do the jokes of like, no, I won't test or, you know, whatever that email I sent you, which I don't even remember sending. But it sounds like me or the OK Dyke moment. I have this other side of me where I do think I am a nice person and I am I want things to be OK and nice with people. And but right now I'm going through a place of. Yeah, of Tawanding.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
No, I... I've just gotten very seriously firm about things or I've raised my voice in a way that I don't normally. Like my agent of like 15 years ran into Stephanie at a party and he was like, I have not, he was on a call with me where I was just very firm about something. And he was like, I've never heard Tig like that before.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
It's good. I am so, so deeply in it. I love it. And there are there is the aftermath of and I don't know if this is exactly what you're talking about, but there is the aftermath of people. Being stunned. at our production company, our creative executive who used to be our assistant years ago. He's worked with us forever now, but I was talking to him about it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And, and he said, you don't have to apologize. Or he said, those are real emotions and feelings. And although I know that it was, it was nice to hear it because I, I just the circus I'm finished with. I'm very finished.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But there's also plenty of people that are on ego trips and power trips that also do it, that do it, that are not what I'm talking about. And I'm not talking about the power ego tripping people that do this. That's a whole different thing. I'm talking about just people really, really getting in tune with what you want. I am so obsessed with the things that I don't want to.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
That's meaning I love learning. I don't want this. I don't want this in my life. I don't want this. And I love that when it rears its head as much as I find something like Stephanie, where I'm like, I want this. This is what I will work and live for. And this is that side of it. And then there's this where I'm like, oh, am I thrilled that I... Know that I don't want that. I do not want that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
That's right. And it all feeds into Tawanda.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Not this. There's so many things. Creative things. And people in the creative world that I have had too much patience for. And there's a lot of creative stuff that I've been open to because I do think it's important to try new things out. But there's so much creative that I've learned that's not for me. And I don't want to spend my time doing that. And just, there are people that I am okay with.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I'm not looking for a battle with them, but they're not for me. And, and I'm okay with cutting that loose and being friendly with Perfectly friendly when I see them, but they're not for me. And I'm not interested in the world that surrounds them. And I'm good with that. And I also... I just want to be comfortable. I want to be safe and comfortable and healthy. I feel that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Well, you're climbing to hell. It's not to nowhere. You're absolutely climbing to hell because people are so blinded by fame, fortune, power. When it gets into the right hands, you have incredible people. And then when that gets into the wrong hands... It is astounding, the monsters.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And I'm always like, people will say, does it frustrate you when you hear that she or they or whoever is getting it? And I'm like, no, keep feeding that monster.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Let him have it all. Let him have it all. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
It's so challenging. And it's, and look, I love we both I'll speak for myself. I love working. I love what I do. I love it. But I am not looking to just fill my calendar. Stephanie and I have a production company and we do things together. And that is. Excites me so much writing, creating, producing, acting. We do all of those things together and have over the years. And we have so much.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Everybody is like, oh, God, what was that like working with your wife? It was incredible. It was incredible. It was so fun. And we're both so sad when we go to a set and the other one is not there. And we're like, we're looking for more people like us. Yeah, we love working together. We love it. And we love working on our projects. And so they're labors of love.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And again, I've done plenty of things outside of what we create together. But Stephanie makes fun of me because, you know, on, on, uh, projects or sets, people are like, I'm not here to make friends. And I'm like, I'm only here to make friends. That is the only thing I'm here to do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I might not, you might not be, you know, I might pick up something weird about you, but, um, I'm not necessarily going to be friends, best friends with everyone, but I am here to have a good time. I want to be laughing, um, on set and enjoying myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
That's so, so crucial to me is to enjoy what I'm doing and feel like there's a positive message to the project or there's a good people involved in it. Of course, It's hit or miss out there. But that's what I'm going in for. That's really, really what I'm interested in.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yeah. I always, yeah. I always say nothing matters and it's devastating. But also, nothing matters. But, oh, nothing matters.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yes. Nothing matters?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But nothing matters. But nothing matters. So do it. Take the risk. But just remember. Nothing matters.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
This doesn't matter. It's not going to be Tawande.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Do you have a mug that says don't even talk to me until I've had my coffee?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
They dress themselves and they look like maybe they don't have parents. Yeah, sure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
So great. Yeah, they're so great. And and anytime we find ourselves getting caught up in, you know, oh, this one always forgets to do this or this one gets frustrated with this or that this is their little struggle with their dynamic. They are not difficult children and they're so loving and protective of each other. We cannot. reprimand one without the other one getting so upset with us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Hi, we didn't know that our bios were going to be read.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Turn on you. And you're just like, okay, you guys got to figure this out yourselves then, which is pretty much what they do for the most part.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
That was our big dream. I was just like, Oh gosh, I just want to put little pants on someone.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
yeah if you do that your whole life you don't have to Tawanda yeah right totally exactly but I have to say Tawanda-ing is kind of it's kind of fun yeah it's really it's really freeing to to Tawanda Kathy Bates was standing in front of me at the airport uh like maybe five people in front of me and I I considered Telling her I was mid to Wanda.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But then I just thought, oh, she hears that all the time and I can't be another person that does the.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
So now you go. We travel with your bios. Our nighttime reading. I want to make an adjustment. We have three cats. We have the two that you left out are actually in Stephanie's office with us. And luckily they didn't hear it because we have our headphones on.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Yeah, that's what I was saying before. I was like, we've got plenty of issues and problems. And a lot of them we've worked through and a lot of them continue to rear their head. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I call them like old files where it's like, should we pull out that old file? And we know what's in there, but should we pull out the old file? And I, a friend of mine that I grew up with, we also have old files where, where I'm like old jokes or stories. And we've been friends since we were children. And we moved out here to Los Angeles together. And,
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
we have stories that we've told each other a million times because we grew up together and we had those stories together and we lived it together. And one of us will bring out the old file and start telling a story. And then the other one will say, wait, do you know this? And the other one will say, Absolutely. But please tell it again. And then and we won't stop each other.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
OK, well, and so and we know the story by heart. And it's the same thing with our issues. And that's what's so weird. Don't interrupt me, Stephanie. Oh, that's our issue.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
We were up. We were both upset. And I think she was maybe. locked into maybe yelling at me or something at the moment.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
She was like, something was coming at me verbally. And then I, mid-argument, I just wandered off to the window and just put my hands against the glass and I started singing an impromptu musical. And I was like, there was a time. And I just started singing about All the good times we used to have and before things went awry. And Stephanie started laughing so hard.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And so now we'll sing musicals to each other when things get really tense. And it pulls us out of those moments. And what we're working on now is... following up after Al comes back, you're like, well, I'm still... No resolution.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
We can pull each other out. Another thing that Stephanie does that will pull me out of... is when she's driving me insane which has only happened once of course but um uh i'll be so frustrated that i can't see and then she'll start pointing to her wedding ring like you got me for life i'm yours here's the one you picked i'm the one you picked and then uh that makes me laugh So hard.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Skip and Linus. Okay. And are they also producers and directors?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And we also joke about when we're in an argument, we'll talk about how, well, I'm legally bound to you. I signed a contract. And so I guess we've got to work this out because we are contractually bound to this situation.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
They work at Judd Apatow's production company. Okay. That's how we met them. Got it. Okay. They were assistants. They were assistants. And we asked them if they wanted to live. With two mothers. And they mailed, which we interpreted it as yes. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Oh, I have to tell you one more thing that gets us out of an argument. Actually, we haven't done this in a while. It's so funny. There was a meme or something that you sent me where – a guy was driving a car and then his dog was in the passenger seat and had its paw on the, on his arm, on his arm.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And I think I've told you that it gets me out of situations where if somebody will just touch me in an argument, I can talk better if she just reaches out and touches me. And so she sent me that meme of the guy driving and his dog just having its paw.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And so sometimes when we've had arguments, Stephanie will kind of mimic the dog and put her paw on my arm where she's so mad and then she'll put her paw on me. And then and then it makes me laugh or it like brings you back to reality. It brings me back to reality.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And that that touch when Stephanie will reach out and touch me, I'm like, OK, we're we're together.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I thought you were going to talk about how I remember one time after an argument and I Look, we're not arguing all the time. 1% of the time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
But one of the times that we argued, I came back in the room. I thought you were going to talk about this. And I said, whew, we just got in big trouble. And that's how it felt. It felt like...
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
wow we we misbehaved there you know we just yes i get that it felt like a parent would have been like whoa you two yeah take it easy and so we do reference that still where after we'll have an argument we'll be like we just got in big trouble and that'll break tension too
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Stephanie and Tig speak cat. It's good. We do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And I don't care who's giving you a signal. We're not finished. But I do want to take a moment to acknowledge how thankful we are for what you both do for the world and the greater good. And I... feel so strongly about putting your time and money and power and influence into your beliefs. And I think that you both do that well. beyond measure. And I am so, so thankful for that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Well, I met both of you through Don't Ask Tig, but this is... Do we pretend like that didn't happen?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
No, no, no, no. I know. I absolutely am. I want people to know. No, no, no. No, that's not why I'm saying I'm truly. I remember Stephanie talking to me about what you do, both of you and how activated you are. And that drew me. I was so blown away. And I fully believe that if you have a problem with something, don't complain about it. do something, donate money, lift a finger and help people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And how do we know? I mean, it's funny to talk earlier about nothing matters, but of course I think everything matters and I care about everything. And I think that, yeah, There's just different ways that you can activate yourself, whether it's showing up in person for people or giving your money in ways and towards things that you can't physically get to. I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Do you make a decision what you care about?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Intention. is so crucial. And I think that we trust the intention behind your organization. I think all the time. Let's say you both despise me or you don't like my comedy or you took all of my joking seriously. I don't care. I'm still going to give you my money, you know,
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
I do not care what you think about me, because if I think you have good intentions and you are going to be doing something incredible and powerful with that money. Great.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Or just long-term life, you know, the memory goes. And I'm not saying you're elderly, but I have a lot of memory problems.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Constantly. Yeah. You know, it's terrible. And I apologize. But I don't. But I do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
movement so you're just people are just kind of staring like really the other night we had dinner with a group of people I will not drop names but you'd be impressed with who was there was it Taylor Dane yes and no beforehand there was an email chain of hey can everyone get tested you know And everyone was chiming in, and I just wrote no. See?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
You're like, oh my God, no, we're totally... See, I walk away thinking, of course they know I'm kidding. Why would I do that to somebody? Why would I not test? Why would I not... have a double date. Why would, why, why? This is similar to how we sort of got together officially. Um, right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And I think I'm funny. And I'm some people think I'm funny. I really thought you were funny. Look, I'm not for everyone. That's fine. You can't be for everyone. That's right. Yeah, that's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
We didn't kiss because it was Valentine's Day.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Well, I didn't even know what to do because we have so much fun together and we kiss so naturally. And I just thought, what does all of this mean?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
No, you said that. No, I've just been dabbling for longer than you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And so I'm just like, yeah, you know, but it... I'm not discounting your need to talk about it or Stephanie, because Stephanie, she'd talk about it for, she could write you pages of an email.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Look, I don't do CrossFit, but I am the, I'll talk your face off about plant-based food.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
So then I'm not even going to worry about this, about boring you. I got my plant-based nutrition certification during the pandemic. I did. Yes, I did.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And you should have added that in my bio.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
And then she can talk about her sexuality of, um, uh, and answer this question, but let's talk about the other side of things of how many boyfriends you had.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
Thank you, Abby. And softball. You can't play those sports and not be slightly interested in women.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your Towanda with Tig Notaro & Stephanie Allynne (Best Of)
There's another little monkey wrench. See, Stephanie was single with a roommate, and it felt more... I didn't really hear... Um, that no, but I imagine people might've thought that I've dated so many, um, people that are interesting or beautiful, smart, funny, all of these things. And I talk about the inflection where I would say, oh, um, yeah, it's good. Yeah. You know, things are good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
Yeah. And then it's also kind of like this resentment, like just one fucking day. Are you kidding me?
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
When I was in second grade, I was at this school and And I remember my mom showing up at our school on my birthday with Friendly's little ice cream cups. You know, the ones that had the spoons. Oh, yeah. It was like high quality treats. And I remember we were all going out to the playground and she walked up and she had, you know, 20 of these Friendly cups in this brown bag.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
And I just like I remember like looking at my mom and being so proud that that was my mom and so proud to be able to hand each one of my classmates one of these friendly cups. And we sat on the side of the playground and we ate our ice cream and then we played on the playground for a little while.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
It's so scary. I'm telling you, we can control it. I have done it. When I'm out in public, I'm like this. I like swallow it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I don't have many memories of my childhood, but that was a really good day.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I just start it and I pick up the tank bow. We're walking in their bedroom and it's also like a wake up song. So she's like, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Chase. Happy birthday to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
No, but my eyeballs are about to pop out of my face.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
The hills are rolling. They're doing it. They're doing it. Do you feel like you've always been a little let down on your birthday? Like the birthday hasn't hit your expectations. And so is this like a source of, I'm never going to remember it?
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I just had to do a yawn, ha, ha. I just needed, I needed to do a yawn, ha, ha.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
Oh my God. That is really embarrassing. I'm bad. I feel embarrassed for you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
And if she does get one of those wins or one of those desires, she'll be able to come to us and it will be this like beautiful moment, you know?
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I think that one of the things that I try to do is to explain the things I really want to do on my birthday and the things I don't want to do. That's good. For instance, we talk about this like a month before both of our birthdays. And usually it's like we are foregoing any material item that we will be handed as a gift.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
And because the real truth is both of us just want to go just the two of us somewhere different than here.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
We're having a moment in our family, like the back to school, everything has been wild.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
What is the ha, ha? I just, you know sometimes when you're like, yawn, ha! You ever do that? Like you need to like, ha!
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
But they don't, the kids don't really know it, but I'm like seething.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
It's just, I can't stop thinking about it, so I'm doing it. You know, it's contagious.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I mean, I don't think we're going to fix birthdays. We're going to talk about birthdays. That's for sure what we're going to do on this. All right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
It's not a quiet thing for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
That's right. This is a thing in our marriage that isn't going to change. This is what we're going to keep doing until we're dead. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I have a complicated relationship with birthdays because being the youngest of a huge family, when I was really young, You know, they do the big celebrations. And then as you get older, because I was the youngest, we would just celebrate a birthday during dinner. Like, that's what we did.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
I did. I always chose marinated steak for some reason. That was my favorite growing up. But, like, I feel like we're setting our adult selves up for real failure. Yes. Because these... parties are thrown for us when we're children. And then as we get older, they stop, they go away. At least that was the case for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
And I feel like it's kind of sad because we're getting older by one year every year. And there's an existential dread that's happening like, oh, I'm getting older. And then we get celebrated in many ways like less and less as we get older. And so it's kind of this like sad hope for younghood.
We Can Do Hard Things
Why Do Birthdays Bring So Many Feels?? (Best Of)
Do you think when you were young, 47 was like? Almost dead. Yep.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
So we're talking two separate things. USA basketball is different than the WNBA.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And the players of the Atlanta Dream. Dream, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
double date it's so exciting it is exciting i feel nervous and excited a little bit like and we for the past few minutes we've been talking about our own personal rules for our double date like you would imagine you and your partner driving to this said double date and like you're kind of talking about like what's going to happen like what do you want to talk about yeah so our first double date and we can do our thing who is it
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Or I like Megan even. No, I want to know like- We're going to get there. We're like on a timeline.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
It's sweet. She was trying to protect you, you know? Those are the kind of friends you have. And now...
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
What, um, what is just going to switch gears real quick. What do y'all fight about the most?
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Well, it actually probably sounds like Sue farted. And she's like, excuse me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I'm never... I think we've gotten to a place where we're starting to accept that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I will say, I do think that I have gotten less loud.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
She said, you know, I want a partner that partners.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Yeah. This has been like the ongoing. The ticker's fascinating. That thing has changed my life. Like now I have to actually like write it down, like ticker. So she'll walk into the room. She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm tickering right now. And it's just like I'm literally sitting there by myself thinking of all the things that needs to get done.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Well, in the sober world, when you don't drink at night, like you don't go get dinner and drinks if you're not drinking. So we do coffee.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
We just got this package from Symbiotica and I'm so excited. I've used their liposomal glutathione and the vitamin C and they're my favorite products by far. The liposomal form gets it into your system and actually gets it to the places that you need it to be.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
So that especially during the winter times and the colds and all the things, I just need my system and my immune system to be like strong and capable of going outside and not worrying about getting sick. And that's what Symbiotica is giving me. It's giving me for real belief in my body.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
High quality, holistic wellness right at your fingertips. Be present and feel your best for life's most memorable moments. Go to Symbiotica.com slash Glennon for 20% off your order plus free shipping today. That's Symbiotica.com slash Glennon for 20% off your order plus free shipping.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
So what are you guys doing? Like, what in the hell are you doing? Where are you right now? Are you in Seattle?
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And that's the thing. So good. It's so beautiful. When Glennon comes to me, she's coming to me with... Real problems that are like life and death for people, you know? And so I don't want to like live in that space 24 hours a day. And so sometimes she'll just be like, can you please just not bright side this? Like, this is not a bright sideable moment. This is horrible. Like, this is bad.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Like, let's just sit and feel bad for a little bit. And when that is kind of the consistent conversation, I'm like, fuck, I'm... I'm sad now. Now I'm actually sad.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I think that you just told me it is. And now I'm supposed to deal with that. I don't know. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I feel like we're both jealous. Do you? No. You're definitely more jealous than me. And also, if somebody comes into our situation where I get a weird vibe with, I'm like, cut all ties. Yes. Yeah. Cut them off. Cut all ties. Because I've been, you know, traumatized in my past. And so when I feel the feeling, I like tell you, I'm like, that person crossed a boundary. I don't know what it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Maybe nothing has happened. Like literally, they're probably wonderful people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I keep trying to bring up things that we can do for fun together. Like I just brought up the other day, like I think we should get into pickleball.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
You'll learn when you get retired, Megan, you'll learn that like, you're like, I don't know what I'm going to do. What am I going to do to work out and have fun? Because you got to do it at the same time. Well, we do just because we have children and that takes up all of our day. I mean, I know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And I think, you know, you guys are touching on a lot of stuff that I've thought about, especially over the last five, six years of my retirement, having these like friends that you you go to camp. you're playing on your teams and you have people around all the time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
One thing that I think will happen when you retire is you're going to get really picky about the people that you spent because you all are so busy and having those friendships that you do get like chosen family, you know, a lot of especially gay women.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Not that you guys have bad family situations, but I just know that having other queer women in our lives is like really important to to feel like you're having that sense of community in some way.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And listen, but there's, you have to keep doing that Megan and Sue, because y'all are trailblazers and trailblazers are always questioning themselves. Like whether we want to believe that or not, trailblazers are like, fuck, what am I doing? Sue, And I'm sure a lot of people tell you this, you know, just just really take in everything and enjoy your last year.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And what I will tell you is that my life got so much better when I retired. It got so much better. People are saying the biggest fears that I had were where I was going to make money, how I was going to make money and what I was going to do to get health care. And the truth is, I've made more money in my retirement.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
much by just like actually giving more time to myself to like create things and do things that I want to do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Well, I think that Megan... And I were very similar in this way that when it was off season, we were off. We took those seven and might I say maybe 14. We might have extended those days off. So that coming back into shape is just miserable. And also when you get older, it's harder. It's just it's just physiologically more difficult.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
It's so frustrating. It's so fucking infuriating because here's the thing. Yeah. Like you don't, Y'all should y'all should be able to at this age, at this time in your life, be able to walk away completely fine and financially set for life. But like we're women athletes. So it's like constantly fighting that battle. And no, totally.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Some people just like stay in shape during that time, but I just never did. But how is your body holding up, Megan? Like, are you are you feeling healthy at least? Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I mean, yeah, y'all are just you're all our icons, not just sports icons, but really feminists and women in the world that are doing world changing things. And I can't wait for y'all to retire. The world actually kind of needs you on this side of the... New friends?
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
Well, and as pro athletes, y'all never are actually, especially as we get older, you're never at 100%. So you're always you're always dealing with something. And like that just plays a massive role into the confidence that you could take as an athlete on the pitch or on the court. So it's like, I don't know. I just think it's so fucking amazing that y'all are still playing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
I mean, Sue, how old are you right now? Forty one.
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And she just agreed to play for another year, which is amazing and wild to me. I mean, have you treated your body perfectly forever? No, no, no, no. How are you still moving?
We Can Do Hard Things
Double Date with Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird! (Best Of)
And this is a pre this is NBC pre Olympics so that NBC can get footage to use while the Olympics are playing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
I deserve it. I love that you said that. For me, it makes me think about being in those rooms and the temptation of wanting to align and become them and to align with the men, the white men in those rooms, how easy and alluring that is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
And I feel like this is the real fight is to resist, to keep resisting the urge in that alignment.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
They don't want it. They don't want the actual change.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
What is it like communicating with white women?
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Bozema St. John is a Hall of Fame inducted marketing executive, author, entrepreneur, and in our opinion, a general badass. Also the world's opinion. Boz has led global consumer marketing at Apple, Music, and iTunes. She was chief brand officer at Uber and global chief marketing officer at Netflix. Boz is currently the
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Having to be the kind of jerk afterwards in that post-meeting going, actually, no, you stole my idea. That wasn't ours. And that makes you feel like a jerk, but like you're still having to do it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Named the number one most influential CMO in the world by Forbes and has been named one of Billboard's most powerful women in music for 10 consecutive years. In 2021, Harvard Business School published a multimedia case study on her career titled Leading with Authenticity and Urgency. through which she developed and taught a program at the university aptly named The Anatomy of a Badass.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Low bars here. Now I'm selfish.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
You got to tell us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Bose was named as an ambassador for the African diaspora and special envoy to the president of Ghana. And in the spring of 2023, Penguin Books will publish her memoir, The Urgent Life. Bose counts her highest achievement as being a mother to her 12-year-old daughter, Lael.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
What a gift. Bose, nobody will ever forget your name. That is for damn sure. You are unforgettable. Thank you for being with us and sharing your story. And please come back when that book is published.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
Now, I understand like from a personal perspective, you might view some of these choices that you've made as a mistake, but I have kind of another perspective that the world is only ready when it's ready. So corporate America might only be ready for a Bozema St. John in their minds. And then in practicality, Bozema St.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
John walks through the door and starts to fuck shit up and starts to do her work. And they're like, actually, I don't know if we're this ready yet. Right. I don't know. Right. And so maybe it feels like a personal mistake or a personal decision that you've made that you don't think was great. Or in hindsight, you may have chosen differently. But from the perspective of the macro, right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
I think what you're doing is you're laying a foundation for those of us who will come after you and getting the corporate worlds or all of those tables you sat at a little bit more ready for people in certain ways. And I think that that's really important not to get lost in this conversation that your presence and representation at some of those tables. And this leads me to my question.
We Can Do Hard Things
Being the Boss of Yourself with RHOBH’s Bozoma Saint John (Best Of)
You've been at, all of the most powerful tables in the corporate world. How does it feel to so often be the one who looks like you at those tables? The only one, I'm sure. Yeah, probably the only one.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
We have so much to ask you about, but we want to start with sexuality because that's just an easy subject. We can just get out of the way real quick. Yeah, just a light, you know. Easy breezy. Yeah. And also just because we enjoyed your book so much. Let's start by talking about why we should talk about sexuality because I loved your point about
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
I think that one of the things that has really helped me, not only the fact that I'm very non-binary in so much of my life, I just, I feel like I'm attached to the pronoun she, her. And so one of our children, they have a non-binary friend that uses the pronouns they, them. And it blew my mind when I started to think of it as just a third way.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Rather than just having two options, there is a middle option. And that helped me orient how to communicate. And by the way, I still make mistakes. We all do. And just moving beyond those mistakes as quickly and as least dramatically as possible has been really kind of shifting for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
So the World Health Organization says that gender is cultural. Here's a question. So I, every poor person who listens to this podcast, who has to listen to me talk about gender incessantly, because I'm always trying to figure it out. But I can't understand. Gender doesn't feel like anything that's inside me.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
It feels like things that I have put on the outside of me, because that's how I've been told to present in the world. But I can't find it inside of me. So like when our son is explaining how his friend is identifying, and he says, look, just look at them. Like they're, you know, a soul. All souls have to be thems.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Like when you start thinking about human beings as not gendered, because gender is not real, you just will start thinking them, them, them, because it makes more sense actually. Yeah, yeah. Which I think is so beautiful and probably right. But then I get to that place where I'm like, gender is not real. It's not fucking real. And then I have a dear friend who's trans and is like, oh no, thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
That's not correct. I am a man.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Das heißt wirklich, Sexualität ist für alle, nicht nur für queere Menschen. Und die armen, strengen Menschen können nie über ihre Sexualität sprechen, weil es immer als etwas ist, das nur für queere Menschen ist. Aber du sagst in dem Buch, das ich liebe, dass Gender-Präferenzen die mindestens wichtigste Teil der Sexualität sind. Es gibt viele andere Teile.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
It's scary to consider that there's an element of creativity in it. And it's just so amazing that you can get to like, oh, now I've got it. Now I've got it. Gender is not even a thing. It's not even real. Yes, that is evolved. And then somebody's like, Das ist völlig falsch.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Right. You'd be like, what the fuck? But that's all that happens. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what happened today.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
I want to ask you what other things it helped you challenge and und anders ansehen. Und auch, ich möchte nur sagen, ich finde es cool, für mich zu denken, weil du gesagt hast, vielleicht nur sicher sein zu müssen über dich selbst. Und das hat nicht für mich funktioniert. Ich will nie sicher sein über mich selbst sein, weil ich mich über mich selbst überrascht habe.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
You know, six years ago, you said at one point, you don't have to be gay to be gay. And that was for sure true for me. Like, yeah, you never know. And that's a beautiful thing about sexuality. It reminds me a little bit about faith, like thinking about faith. It's just this like ongoing evolution of ideas that's fluid constantly.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
But what did this whole breaking down of everything in terms of gender and sexuality, what else did it help you deconstruct?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Was denkst du darüber? Es funktioniert ziemlich gut für alle, also würde ich es nicht sagen.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Es ist so ein Geschenk, sich nicht zu befinden. Ich denke, das ist das, was Leute nicht, wenn wir denken, wir lachen immer und sagen, unsere Lieblingsmenschen sind Queer-Menschen, aber es ist, weil es eine Art Persönlichkeit gibt, die von dem Geschenk, nicht von Mainstream zu werden, erst gefeuert wird.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Weil du denkst, oh, ich glaube, wenn ich nicht mit ihnen beitreten kann, werde ich einfach frei sein.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
No, I have so much abandonment issues that monogamy is the only way for me. For sure. So like, I know that. I ask her even now, we're like six years married.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
I'm like, are you ever going to leave me? Please tell me you're never going to leave me. I have to start each. If I'm like, I need somebody to do the dishes. I have to start the conversation with monogamy. I'm not gonna leave you. I just need you to put your cup in the dishwasher.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
We're just trying to make them happy still. Damn. Yes. Yeah. You do say you have an addictive personality, so Abby and I are both, that's another reason we relate to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
You're trying to create like the dopamine hit. Is that why you do all the things? Yes, baby. That is risk. Risk and drinking and drugs are like Es produziert die gleichen chemischen Reaktionen in meinem Gehirn.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
So this is what we're talking about. Okay, these are some examples of Maze-Sexuality. Okay, as of a few years ago. May really loves winkers. Okay, that's W-I-N-K-E-R-S. May loves people who wink at them.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Sie schüttelt sich immer weiter in den Bergen und aus dem Escape Room.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
So I was lauding your parents and saying they were so amazing, but there's one little sentence in your book that says, listen, they weren't perfect. There's reasons that I wash my face five times a day and have fear of abandonment. So let's go back to that. How did they fuck up and why, why did they make you wash your face five times a day and have abandonment issues?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
BR 2018 Untertitelung. BR 2018 Untertitelung. BR 2018
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Untertitelung. BR 2018 Untertitelung. BR 2018
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
If the wink happened with like, Zwei Waffen? Oh, wie Fingerwaffen? Das ist ein Bro-Wink.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020 Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Und du hast auch gesagt, dass deine Sexualität von Leuten ist, die dich trinken, ohne dir zu fragen, was du willst. Und dann auch von Leuten, die fahren, während du der Passagier bist. Also ich sehe, dass du jemanden willst, der der Boss der Situation ist. Oder bin ich hier übergeneralisiert?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Ist es okay, mit einem richtigen Tuck-Shirt mit den Rücken am Fronten, ist es okay, den Top-Button zu öffnen und ein bisschen Cash zu machen, oder sollte ich den Top-Button mit keinem Bowtie buttonen?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Es ist so, dass ihr alle für die Party geflogen seid, aber ich für die Nachkampagne geflogen bin.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
In the last minute we have here, what's an idea or a belief or a way of being that you're trying to leave behind? Hmm.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Well, it's important, not only because it's going to be great for you, but also all the people in the world that look like you that don't want to adhere to or want to look to the boy bands or the girl. No pressure. I think it's important that there's people that look like us that are actually doing things in all the industries.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Yeah. Interesting. What about you two? Because I gave them homework that they were going to have to figure out what their sexuality was.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Du musst es tun, um die Zukunft zu machen. Nein, du willst nur ein bisschen Freude damit haben. Ich verstehe das, weil ich eine Schriftstellerin bin, aber ich möchte geheim innerhalb von mir nur ein Poet sein. Oh, ich dachte, du würdest einen Musiker oder einen Rockstar nennen. Nein, nein, nein. Ich meine, du kennst das Poet-Ding. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Aber ich habe so Angst, mir zu sagen, warte, werde ich einen Buch von Poemen schreiben? Du solltest.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
May, du bist nur ein verdammter Traum.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Ja, wir würden gerne ein bisschen Zeit verbringen und dir nichts in L.A. zeigen, weil wir nichts über L.A. wissen. Lass uns ein Spielabend haben.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Ja, ja. Und kommt von jemandem, der keine Repräsentation zu sehen hatte. Ich denke einfach, was du tust und all die Arbeiten, die du tust, deine Arbeit zählt. Und es verändert die Perspektiven der Menschen. Und ich möchte dir so viel danken, weil du mir sogar helfen kannst. Jetzt hast du mich getroffen.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
thank you I just think that I know that you've you've had to forge yourself to be in the position that you are in so much of your life and have had to deal with a lot of ups and downs but here we are and what you're doing is heroic to put your work out into the world and do it in the way that you are it's beautiful thank you thank you so much and ditto yeah thank you I also think it's very cool that you're inspiring in a different way too is the
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
It would be awful. We love you, May. The rest of you, your responsibility this week is to figure out three things that are your sexuality. Yes, completely. It doesn't matter what you are. Everybody has a sexuality. So you figure out three things. We love you. When things get hard this week, don't forget, we can do hard things. Thank you, Mae. Bye. Thank you so much. Yay!
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Spotify, Odyssey oder wo auch immer du Podcasts hörst. Und dann klickst du auf das Plus-Sign in der linken rechten Seite oder klickst auf Follower. Das ist das wichtigste Ding für den Pod. Während du da bist, wenn du uns eine 5-Star-Rating und Review geben und ein Episode mit einem Freund teilen würdest, wären wir sehr dankbar. Wir freuen uns sehr auf dich.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, Dina Kleiner and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Okay, everybody. Thanks for coming back to We Can Do Hard Things. We're going to jump right in because we're very excited about the person who is with us today. Mae Martin is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer and producer who can be seen starring in Feel Good, which we freaking loved, which they also created and co-wrote.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Ich hatte einige. Okay. Someone who can bring a joke full circle and land it. Like inside a conversation where we've been talking for 10 minutes and then the one person who can just bring it home and tie up. That's a thing that Glennon does. And then I'll say this one. Someone who is up for an adventure. Like if I were to say, hey, let's go do this X. And they're like, yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
And also we should also do Y. And I'm like, Yes, somebody who wants to bring their Yes game and also add to it.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
That's cool. I had a hard time with this one. Yeah, totally. A really hard time, because you know, I've just gotten a sexuality in the last few years.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
No, I think it's slightly true. I think I shut it down for so long and didn't explore it, because I was scared of what was there. But I will tell you that one of the things I have noticed throughout my entire life... ist, dass, wenn jemand mich ansprach, das non-binary aussah. What I assume is my sexuality. All I can tell you is that if my heart was a soldier, it was like suddenly out of tension.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Ja. Okay. Also, May, ich muss nur kurz über deine Eltern sprechen und wie sie mit dir über Sex sprechen. Das ist das Beste. Wir haben tatsächlich viele Eltern, die diesen Podcast hören. Oh, großartig. First of all, didn't your mom sit you down with hand-drawn diagrams of sex?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Mae is currently in development with Programmed for Netflix and stars in Season 2 of The Flight Attendant, so cool, on HBO Max. May Martins Guide to Series about Sexuality and Addiction are available to listen to on BBC Sounds. May is also the author of Can Everyone Please Calm Down?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Es ist, auch die Bilder, auch das Sagen, das ist Sex zwischen einer Frau und einer Frau, das ist so brillant. You could explain orgasms the way that May's mother did, which is this. Okay, I want you to imagine a mother saying this to six-year-old May. When two people love each other and they're naked and having sex, they feel very happy and then they feel increasingly happy.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
And finally, they reach a moment of extreme happiness and an explosion of rainbows cascades across the sky.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
The only person for whom the first orgasm was really fucking let down. It was a let down. Yeah, I was like, have I done it wrong? Can we talk about the fact that you never had to come out? Because this is something we talk about all the time. Which is, I don't know if people who don't have to come out even know why it's so infuriating to have to come out.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Because it's sexualizing yourself in front of people over and over again. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Probably Gia. I actually really remember being very attached to that movie. Have you seen it?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
A Guide to 21st Century Sexuality, which our family has been going through like a hilarious family class for the last month. Willkommen, May. Danke, dass du da bist. Wir können hartes Leben machen. Danke, dass du da bist. Es ist so schön, euch alle zu treffen. Das ist meine Frau Abby. Das ist meine Schwester Amanda. Und ihr wisst alle, das ist May.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
It makes sense. It's all coming together now. Yeah. We talked about this one time when you were explaining to a friend, I think you were saying at the time that you were going to date a boy, you were dating a boy. And your friend got upset in like a very confused way because your friend was used to seeing you date women.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
And so he looked at you strangely and said, I can't imagine you having sex with a dude. Ja. Ja. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
Das ist richtig. Das ist richtig.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to be Sexually Confident with Mae Martin (Best Of)
I felt like I was the one that was teaching everybody about gayness. And so all of the questions would come and I felt like it was my unfortunate duty to have to educate. And, you know, quite frankly, a lot of my straight dude friends were asking me a lot of important questions for their sexual lives. And I hated it, but I also felt like it was a service that I had to do for some reason. It was...
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I wouldn't say guilt. I would say I have a responsibility.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. Do you have any like statistics on how many kids actually go and play in college and then how many of those kids go and play in professional sports?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I think what's important that we do need to kind of dig in right here is this idea of individualization of sport at a young age. Can you talk about how most of the Olympians played multiple sports?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah, this is totally my experience growing up. I played multiple sports. I was getting more advanced in basketball and in soccer throughout high school. And the time that I needed to play soccer because I was on the youth national teams that started to ramp up. And so I really coveted the basketball season as a break. Yes, it was so important for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And also now looking back, the thing that I was like most known for as a soccer player was heading. And how did I learn the timing of a jump more than I did? I not playing soccer. It was playing basketball. It was playing basketball that made me one of the best headers in the entire world.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And so like, I just think of this and I have to also say and admit, it is really difficult as a parent to be in the system and to now being required to for our children to literally sign contracts with clubs that require you to pay dues for 12 months to be a part of this club system, or you will get left behind and then you won't be seen by the college coaches.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And honestly, like Emma, she ran track when she was younger, we had her doing a lot of things, but then there's a time like 12, 13 years old where these club systems are kind of get their talons in you. And it's, it's so hard to break free up from.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And so I just, eventually we're going to talk about that in this conversation, but I just want to say like, for any parent listening, multiple sports is the best way to keep your kids from getting injured and from also the mental burnout. Your kid does need that mental break.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. I mean, it's also complicated because it's not just our decision. This is a decision that she becomes involved with because she doesn't want to miss practice. She doesn't want to miss the weekend games. She doesn't want to miss the consistency in the training. It's like this confusing game, I guess they're putting us in a position where we have to say yes in many ways.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I have tried to get her to quit like six times, a family joke.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. They were all in rec league sports.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah, we went from rec league to the travel soccer system.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
She loved being a field marshal.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
The referee was excusing him from the playing sidelines.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I think that that's really good. I think I heard you say, and this like really hit me, if your kid does really well, And you feel elated and you have an outsized happiness. And then on the converse, if your kid does poorly and you parent are upset, that is something to be thinking about and to be aware of.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I think Glennon and I do a pretty good job at keeping this in check, because honestly, it really does not matter if my kid plays well or doesn't. The times that I get like really pumped for her is when I know she's been struggling and she's been having a tough time at practice or she hasn't been playing in her from her words like her best.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And then she like kind of comes into a game and comes into herself. That's cool to me. Cause I'm like, wow, like look at what you've been able to do. That's so cool. How can parents fix themselves besides not just not going like, do you have any like tips for parents who are sitting on the sideline who do you recommend parents watch practice? Cause that's a thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
That's been the, I would say, and the pod squad kind of knows I've gone through quite a bit of a recovery process from professional sport. And I would say that that's probably the thing that I've had to reckon with the most is this, what do I want? And like, I was thinking about this two days ago when I was going on my walk and I was like, wow, like you're walking right now.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Nobody told you to do this. Nobody's paying you for this. This isn't something that, you know, the television screen, the cameras are looking at. Like you're doing this because you know that this is good for your long term health, cardiovascular wellness, all of the good things that you get from going on a walk. And honestly, when I was playing and up until maybe like three years ago,
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
It was hard for me to find the motivation to do something without the belief that somebody else is going to watch it or I was going to get something good out of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
That's why language matters. I'm very particular about this one. I never say the word proud because it's kind of a trigger for me. I only say, gosh, I'm so happy for you that you feel good about that performance. And I don't say, I think you did well or I think you did poorly. We ask her, how do you think you did? How do you feel about that game? And then she informs us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And so that informs the things that we can say to her It has a mirror back. Like, I'm so happy that you feel that way. Or like, oh man, I feel, I'm so bummed that you feel that way about yourself and about your performance.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And also, I just want to say this as a shout out to all the parents and maybe some helpful tip for a parent. If your child asks you for your assessment and only if they do is when you give it to them. Yeah. And I will tell you, we've told Emma, hey, if you ever want me to let you know how I felt about the game, just ask. I'm happy to give you Coach Abby's perspective.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Take a guess how many times she's asked me what my perspective was. Zero. Yeah. Zero times has my child wanted to know what gold medalist World Cup champion Abby Wambach had to think about her game. They don't give a shit about what we think. So just know that. Know that when you are going to go analyze your kid with your kid on the drive home. My God, do not talk about the game on the drive home.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
the reality of the prize, right? Because the perception is not the data. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah, it is so weird. And one of the things that was like so important to Glennon and I, because like we're literally giving our child to a different family for four years. And we're assuming that this coach and the coaching staff in total is going to take over in some ways the parental guidance that
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
this child while they are developing in some of the most important years of their developmental lives in terms of how they see themselves, their self-esteem, you know, what they're thinking about as they become young adults. And so you have to be mindful of that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I wasn't going into some of these meetings with these coaches being like, oh, you're looking at our daughter and hopefully we were like interviewing them. Right. Because it was, she's like our most prized possession. One of the three of our children, they're our most prized possessions. And we just are basically hoping that they want our kid.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
But you have to be interviewing these coaches as parents.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
It's hard for parents. I grew up in an era where the yelling at us was normalized. When women's sports and women's soccer especially became more monetized, you saw more men get involved. And I think that that's why it's so important to me in terms of like how we can progress as like a culture is I really do think it will benefit young girls to be coached by men. young adult women.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And this is not across the board. I just think that for the most part, it's good to see women on the sidelines, but there's so much that I was conditioned to believe was normalized coaching behavior that I actually take myself out of the equation often. And I ask Glennon like, yeah, what lands for you? And she's like, that's emotional abuse. And I'm like, got it. Okay. Interesting. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I think my favorite coach of all time, her name is Pia Sundhag. And of course she's Swedish. So this makes a lot of sense. But when she first came to our team, she, the women's national team, we've been coached by men and a woman prior to Pia. And for the most part, it was very negative based. And then here comes this Swedish woman and she will not show us a negative clip in film. Ever.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And actually, it was really hard for us to get used to at first because we were so conditioned to only work on things that we failed at that when she only was bringing these positive clips, like, look at what you've done here. And then trying to like.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
magnify and replicate all of these positive moments that happen throughout a game it really changed the way that i i approached the game it was like rather than picking out and nitpicking all of these failures or problems we were actually only focusing on the things that we do well and then psychologically and energetically and mentally that just changes the dynamic of the entire the package.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Right. So I just think that I say this in a way that it's also hard for parents to know what is really happening inside the locker room. If your kid doesn't talk to you about it or they're feeling a little bit shame because they're getting bullied or emotionally abused by their coach.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
What are some things that we can do to start these conversations with our young kids to kind of open the door of understanding what they do want and what their experience is on the field and then how we can communicate best with them so that they can maintain the sweet spot that we want them to be in?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. So obviously I have a very complicated relationship with sport, with youth sports and the way that I personally experienced them and then the way that I experienced it as a parent. And one of the things that you said, it like stopped me in my tracks because I really had to think it through. And it's this belief that sports are good for kids.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yes. My dad paid me for goals in college. Did it motivate you? Did it help? It really did motivate me. But it's interesting because in my retirement, I've been retired for nine years, 10 years coming this December. And- Early on in my retirement, I started doing marathon training. Well, what did I think? I was like, oh, I'll get a shoe deal. That's good. I started learning how to surf.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I want to start our conversation off there because I'm sure everybody knows that that is a belief that I have held, that I lived by, that I brought into my parenting philosophy and, Is that true, Linda? Is sports good for kids?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I started golfing. I'm like, oh, maybe I'll do some pro-ams and maybe I could. And so like all of my thought process has this basis of understanding that like, oh, sports is a way to earn money in a weird, insidious way. So now-
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
promised myself okay whatever sports and hobbies i'd take on for the rest of my life abby you don't need to earn money you just do it for fun and so that has totally changed first of all i suck at surfing but it's incredible she's turning down deals left and right linda no it's incredible to me that i'm actually enjoying the process of doing something i'm not good at athletically yes the
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I don't have to be careful about what I say. I think about it a little differently than you do because you've not been in it. for all of the years. I've been conditioned to believe that some of this stuff is normal. It's been normalized to me. I can understand how it can look and feel for somebody who hasn't been in it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
You would think? Yeah, former national team players, former professional athletes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. It's a really interesting thing. It's kind of baffling because these men who have built these college programs or these systems for, you know, many, many years, some of which I'm friends with and trust and actually were some of my favorite coaches. It's interesting to me that the first thought OK, I've built this system of women.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I've built this 30 years of plus of alumni that many are actually in the game coaching at other colleges, lower level colleges, because they haven't established themselves yet. I have all of these other women who could potentially take over for me. To me, that feels like such a full circle, like here we are. But it's interesting to think about how it's not the path that they take.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
They hire more men in their coaching staffs and then they groom these men to take over for them when they want to step away from the game and they do it in such a way That it makes it kind of impossible for the college to pick their own coach.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. And I just want to say this because I just think it's really important that this is not to say that all men that are coaching women's sports are bad. And this is not to say that any of them are bad. This is just to say that statistically speaking, I would like to see a lot more women. Like Lennon just said, I would like to have the inverse of what's going on in the men's programs.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
However many women are coaching the men's teams, I think that that should be the percentage of men coaching women's teams.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Is that true? I don't know the statistics on that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Yeah. I just wonder how much that has to do with because I know Title IX happened in 1972. And then the compliance inside of college sports didn't really start happening until the mid to late 90s. 90s. Yeah. And so that's really when more women were playing college sports.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I think what you're seeing now is that that progression of those coaches graduating from the colleges and you've got about a five to 10 year ramp up period where you're actually in the coaching world, but at a lower level, maybe at a different college as an assistant coach and you get to work your way up.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
So I wonder if over the next generation, we will see more women influxed into women's sports coaching. However, we also have to talk about what Glenn is talking about, whether they get let in, right? Like not just from the athletic departments, but it's from the former coaches that have been stewards of these programs for 30 plus years.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Not not from where I went to college because I was coached by a woman in college and the team now has a woman coach. And so they actually call upon me quite often for advice and talking to recruits as like a fun little Abby Wambach. You can talk to her and come to our school thing. But I do see it. I do see it across the board.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I think I just want to also say that having had the sports experience and career that I had, I have been conditioned to believe that sports were the end all be all for me and my life and my identity. And I also have had to pay a price for that. I've had to unlearn this kind of identity in some ways now that I no longer play soccer and I will never play soccer again. I know that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I don't know. I sometimes think of an alternate reality where I didn't go play professional sports and maybe I'm still playing soccer and I'm still enjoying it for the rest of my life. But you couldn't literally pay me enough money to go play soccer again because I played it long enough. And I also want to say that
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
Even because I have my experience, I do think in total, if you're in touch with your kids, sports are really good for your kids to be involved in. Just be in touch with them and talk to them and communicate with them about what they want. Let them be the driver. And also, I don't want my kid to be the boss of our family.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
I don't think anybody out there does, but it just starts to happen slowly but surely. And then this sports... club thing becomes like, there's this insidiousness that takes hold. And you're suddenly in a cult. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
And I think one of the things that really sticks out when I'm listening to both of you talk right now is my personal experience. And what I believed brought me great character traits, in fact, were just great coaches. People in my life that taught me the lessons that I was kind of couching in the whole term sport, right? And I think that that is really important.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
My mom told me this when I was very young. She said, it is important that you guys play sports. And she told me this when I was older too. She was very careful on what coaches she put me in front of. And now I'm seeing that with our 16-year-old daughter with her club coaches. There's some questions that I have that I'm wondering, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Kids Play: Fixing Youth Sports with Linda Flanagan
you know, is this a good place for her to be developing as a full upright adult one day? And I'm not a hundred percent certain. Can you just give us a little bit of just background as to why this has happened in youth sports? Your book really does a great job at it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing online. On the planet at Viori.com slash hard things. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash hard things. You won't be sorry.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Right, right. He was a dude. The apostle Peter. Right. We're no longer talking about my brother.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yeah. So when she reported this to me, that Jesus is best. His name was Peter who eventually became St. Peter and Jesus gave him essentially like the keys to heaven and, And so Glennon just was like, so do you understand what this means? This means your brother is like the bouncer of heaven. And I was like, Peter lets everybody in. She said, yes, Peter lets everybody in.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
When I tell you that in my body, it was like a full body. Yes. And like, I don't know if this is a part of grief or whatever, but there's just been so much confusion in my body. I'm a justice person. This doesn't make sense. All of it. And for the first time, I was like, oh, OK, this is something I can grasp. This is something I can hold. This is something I can carry with me that. Brings me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
not just like an ease of pain, but like actually brings me joy and kind of a weird, like the relief of death or hell. It just like kind of blew it all up for me. I was like, Oh wait. And I've, I know that this is something that has been programmed into me, but in my body, it was like the first time my body breathed or took a breath. And I, Yeah, it was so incredible.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And so, of course, I call my mom. And trying to picture my mother in the light most favorable, Mom, I love you. And I know that you were also just scared for me. And I know that you were taught this too. And I know that that's probably not your fault. But when I was younger, my mom said, I'm scared that you're going to go to hell. I think that that's a real possibility here.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And so I called my mom. And I said, did you say I have something to report? Yes. I have to tell you something that Glennon just fucking just Glennon told me. And so I tell her the whole story. And she said, oh. I don't believe in hell. And I was like, wait, mom, what are you talking about? She said, oh yeah, no, I kind of don't, I don't believe in hell. I don't believe in heaven.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I kind of just think, I think we're all just like, I don't know. I just don't believe in it. And I just, I didn't have the heart because she's going through a really hard time with losing my brother too. I didn't have it in me to be like, What the fuck, mom? But I will say, I think what this really has taught me more than anything, and we'll get to like the little gift that you gave me, Glennon.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
But what this has taught me is to re-examine some of these conditioned beliefs, some of these like deep things that are in us and why they're in us and who taught them to us. And go talk to those people if they actually believe that shit or not still.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
This episode is brought to you by Ring cameras and doorbells. A lot happens while you're away from home. That's why Ring makes it easy to check in from anywhere. Whether you're saying hi to an unexpected guest, making sure those packages are safe, or keeping your pet's company, my favorite, while you're out grabbing groceries, it's all a few taps away, right from your phone. Be there with Ring.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Explore cameras, doorbells, alarm kits, and more right now at ring.com.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yeah. We need to be more religiously like fluid. Yeah. I think too, like one of the things that this period of my life has taught me is that I started therapy like two years ago. To work on my shadow side. Thank you, Suzanne Stabile. And it led me down this wild path that I feel like was preparing me for my brother's death in a way. And now my brother's been dead for over a year.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And I can't believe how important it is to do therapy for me. To have done continuous therapy. To get really... focused and understand some of these childhood belief systems that were programmed into me that I believed that I've carried. I've been an adult for a fucking long time. You're not new here. And I've gone through all the things, atheism and agnosticism.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I've done so much work, but still these beliefs that are very young, that come into your body very young, they're hard to...
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
disproven yourself and so like I don't know if you are wondering and if you have some overall like big fears to me what has helped is to understand when they got embedded in me and so this leads to the whole point of this story on Christmas day Glennon my present from Glennon well one of my presents from Glennon She got me this St. Peter medallion and she had it specialty made.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And there's three black diamonds for my brother's kids and one sparkly, normal looking diamond for Peter. And it's St. Peter and he's holding the keys. And so now I wear this almost every single day. And it's so beautiful. Can you tell me? I can't read what's on the back.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
He'd say, relax, I'll take care of it. Or what do you need? Yeah. Yeah. He was like the guy that like would pull over the side of the road and like fix your tire for you for a stranger and would do all like the gardening and clean the pool and paint the pool for my parents at my parents' house. And He was the guy that showed up and did whatever needed to be done.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And what's also exciting about this is like, Do we get to drink in heaven? Oh, my God. I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yeah. So long story short, this was one of the most important gifts you could give me, not just the medallion, but the story that can help me reshape my belief system. And one thing I also know about Peter and Obviously, he would probably wish to be alive no matter what. But if he were going to be dead, I do think he would like to have the power of being the one that gets to decide who's in.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And P.S., everyone, he'll let everybody in. Yeah, right. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Also, so is everyone else. Yeah, yeah. He was just the best guy. And I don't know. I'm just so grateful, Glennon, that you waited for the right time because had you had told me that a year ago before his services and a month after he died or two months, like I might've not been in the place to really land it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Do you remember the look on my face?
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yes. All to, all to, all yes to that. And I don't know, like, I think just like in terms of thinking about how much devastation and loss has happened already in 2025 with the fires in LA. Yeah. I don't know. This just brings it very focused to me that material things, quote unquote, don't matter.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
But this makes me feel like I think one of the things when you lose somebody is this contemplation with existence. Like, what is it? And so I've been like concerned with Peter's like existence. And if we will forget or if I will forget memories.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And so like this piece of jewelry that I will wear all the time is like proof not only of existence, but of love of like how I felt about him and how he felt about his people. And that like one day I want to believe I like to believe that maybe one day I will meet him again.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And it was just really profound. And I'm so glad that you have the brain that you have.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Stories could blow up our planet. Stories. That is what turned us. That is what separated us as homo sapiens from our ancestors.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Stories, myths and meaning making.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
So maybe entomology. I think you might have it backwards because I took a course and this is neither here nor there because this is studying and Abby and But entomology is the study of bugs. I was under the impression.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
That is why. That is the exact reason why there is a power in the art. And honestly, I think it's an art of positivity. Not like the kind of, how would you say this? Toxic. Toxic positivity. But the kind of positivity where you're like trying to see the world in the light most favorable. And you're trying to see people in the light most favorable.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And you're trying to curate because the way your perception of your reality is the story that you're telling yourself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And so how are we... out here trying to curate the most optimistic, positive, motivating stories so that like, we can actually enjoy what's happening here. Cause I've, I mean, look, I lived 44 years with this belief that I potentially, I mean, I guess it's 30 years that I'm going to go to hell. The first 14, when it pre-gay, I was totally on the, I was going to heaven. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And then I'm going to hell. It's fucking lunacy. So like what we talk to ourselves about and the stories we tell ourselves matter. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
This has gone. Check it out.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
But that's why it's so important to get in touch with yourself. Because so many of us and by the way, like this is me for much of my life where I'm just like unaware of what my story even is. I just think that I'm like living life. But I actually don't understand that like the software and the coding that's been happening all along is in fact the story itself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
That's happening behind the scenes kind of at all times. And so dissecting that with internal family systems with my therapist and it's like, oh, what's that part? And so being able to separate my own consciousness and my own self into all of these parts, figuring out how old these parts are, figuring out what's the story, what's that wound, what is it limiting me and how can I alter that?
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
and protect and let this very young part know that, Hey, 44 year old, old ass Abby has got herself now.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I don't think I've heard this story.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Or you can be like Lennon and just hit the trash can.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And the story we're going on from here is Peter, my brother, is at the gates. He will meet you there with your beverage of choice. If it's weed, whatever. He's letting you into a great party.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Okay. Yeah. I just want to say to the folks that are horrifically been affected by these fires, you know, this is just so difficult. I mean, there's nothing you can say. It's a really, really, really, really devastating time for so many people and just love you guys. And we're with you somehow. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
a night sky, you know? Yeah. I woke up this morning and the moon was, I don't know if it was full, but it was shining and you could see it over the ocean. And it was just, it was amazing. And actually I read you the quote that John Mayer said about the fires.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
That's just the proof of existence is so important. And I think that that's one of the reasons why we wanted to talk about this is holiday thing. Should I tell my story? Please, babe. Okay, so... I don't know if anybody is like totally aware of this, but I have had this very large fear of death and I've been working on it for the last couple of years.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
So many things in our lives change, but not our love for Viore clothing. I love this ad. We're so glad that they continue to support the show. It's true. Abby is obsessed with Viore.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I had the distinct honor to work with and through and learn how to embody the grief of losing my brother Peter this past year. Which obviously has been incredibly hard and brutal in moments. And also, it's just been like the most kind of enlightening thing. And it's gotten me to sit with that fear of death. Now, I wish I could say like, I no longer have the fear of death.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I'm still a little uncomfortable with it, to be perfectly honest. Still not your favorite thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Well, I was born and raised in the Catholic faith tradition. And I think that from the time that I started to know that I was queer, lesbian, teenager, I started to kind of wonder, what does this mean?
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
And it was interesting because even though at the time everything and people in my life were telling me that I would go to hell, literally, the church was basically telling me in all of the ways that I would go to hell. I was still believing that on some level and knowing that was a possibility in the outcome of my life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Do you think you have a favorite item? They're t-shirts. They never get less soft. They're just perfect for everything, for going to dinner, for actively going for a walk, for working out, whatever you want to do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I still needed to be gay because I was, it was like almost this choice that I had to make between like, I'm going to be gay. And if that happens, like, this is just who I am. Right. And so all along throughout my life, I've just harbored this,
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I think I need to categorize it more as a misbelief that if I were to do this thing, if I were to be gay and live a gay life, that in fact I would go to hell. And so that was something that I've carried with me. And that has created some serious internalized homophobia inside of my own body, fear of myself, all the things. And not too long ago,
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
You had a conversation with me that kind of pretty much changed my life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yeah, I have something to report. And what Glennon proceeded to tell me. And by the way, I actually have like a little bit of like, I can't believe you didn't tell me a year ago.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready yet. Cause I had to go through a grieving process. Anyways, you'll understand folks when I get to the part of the story and I'll get there. I promise. Glennon sits me down and do you want to tell them how you explained it to me? Or do you want me to tell it?
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
Yes. You know that I didn't fact check it. And there's a difference between like, hey, you know, the weather is this outside. It's important. So she's like, I have something to report. And I'm like, oh. And so that's my knowing. I've got to sit down and be completely ready to listen. Focus in. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
I wear Viore tops all day, every day.
We Can Do Hard Things
Abby’s Greatest Fear & the One Gift that Freed Her
It's everything. I mean, I love them, but it's not easy to find clothes that look sleek and feel comfortable. I mean, I can use them everywhere and anywhere I go. Viore is an investment in your happiness. I promise you. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase, plus free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Well, and I have like a follow-up to that because I'm thinking here about the wounds, the things that kind of propel us into ways of being, whether it's in romantic relationships or friendships or To me, I mean, sister, I think what you said is really important. It's like a way of loving, but I think it's like a way of being seen on like a really deep level.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Here I am offering you this way of being, whether it's through holding steady or being the one on the bow of the Titanic looking for icebergs. Though they look like and feel like very different occupations in a way and very different roles, I feel like it's important that we talk really in depth about the wound, like the real why of that all.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Because to me, like that's something that Glennon and I have had to do a lot of work on. Like, oh, what are these wounds? We do a lot of parts work. But the wound of it and the why of it. Glennon, have you been told your whole life like, oh, you're too much?
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
When I'm just thinking about the strife of otherness, because that's what this is. It's like not accepting that we are different. And I think it's amazing because these two qualities are the most essential ingredients to having a successful relationship. So I don't have a question, but I think it's important to discuss the deeper wounds of it before we kind of keep going on in our conversation.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
And that's happened in our marriage. Yes. I mean, and Glennon was able to actually verbalize how lonely it was being the person on the bow of the Titanic and how when I would placate her or even gaslight her just to keep the peace.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
that was infuriating. So I actually had to do some work on to actually say, yeah, I noticed that too. Oh, yep, I saw that too. And it was like, it was a total game changer for us, for sure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
It makes you unpolarized.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
That's right. You feel like I don't need to bring it up. That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
One of the things that I think that has been probably the most eye-opening for me is I was so afraid that if I started pointing out all of the things that Glennon brought up, that everything would feel on fire and untenable. And for sure, what you just said is true, that because I have now kind of started to acknowledge the things that I feel are actually fucked up and a little bit fiery.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
The things that she would just blanket name all these things. But now she just doesn't, she doesn't acknowledge some of the things that are less big of a deal. Mm-hmm. Because it feels like dramatic, you know, some of these things. And so it's like this great equalizer that it's happened. And now I find myself being like, God, that felt weird. And she's like, oh, interesting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
And we're able to actually not get triggered. We're able to actually see things more clearly because when you're not being acknowledged, everything is high intensity and you have to be on high alert with. Yes. But now it's not.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Can I just say one really quick thing? Because I think this is important, especially for anyone listening who might feel that they are wanting the more change in the relationship and maybe take their partner to therapy and their partners a little bit. you know, hesitant to do that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Cause I, not that I've been anti-therapy at all, but I remember a time in my life where I was very stubborn and kind of set in my quote unquote set in my ways. And my biggest issue was that I feared that my partner didn't love who I was now.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
And because I was a person and still am in some ways that really like I needed to have that as like the known factor in order to even move my body into any kind of a changing mindset. This is familial old stuff for me for sure. And I think when I found Glennon, I found a partner in me that was able to reinforce that knowing over and over again, because it's like a test.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
A lot of us acceptors who are like stable and grounded, it's almost like this weird thing that we're like, It's self-fulfilling prophecy in a way that we're like testing our partner to see if they really do love us without needing to do anything different.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
And I don't know what the fix for that is, but I know that for Glennon, it was the continued reinforcement that she did love me, but she did want us to grow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
I don't think that that applies to people, but here we go.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Yes. Can you say that again? Because I, I think we're speaking to a lot of these changing folks who are peeling back the onion. say it again, slower for those partners who are the accepting folks. It's a very important part of a relationship. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Yes, it is. Glennon is definitely the pusher, the changer, the always trying to, I wouldn't say optimize, but always trying to go deeper. I am this, what would you call me?
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
And on the converse... I mean, this just happened yesterday. The kind of person Glennon is, is so fascinating to me and it inspires me because I see so much progress and growth and deepening in her that I want also for myself. And I always say that she's like one or two years ahead of me in the personal development stuff that she's trying to achieve. And
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
whether it's therapy or whatever, but it's so important for me. I need a model in that way. And also I can do these things and create kind of a center. And I think that it's also providing an opportunity for you, Glennon, When I am in those, like this last year has been a big growth year for me and a big change year for me. And Glennon has held the center.
We Can Do Hard Things
Can You Change Your Partner? With Dr. Alexandra Solomon
She has been so steady and so stable for me that it has given me the courage and the space to be able to actually reach into these kind of corners, darker corners of myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
It is what it is. I'm actually going to ask Glennon a question because I want to know what it means to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Well, I think one of the things that this space and this weekend gives me is it allows me to be in my body and experience folks like Muna last night. And to be really, really raw and honest, there's a kind of jealousy that lives in me for their expression and their freedom in their expression.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And I don't know if any of the older lesbians in the room would understand what I'm saying, but I think that... When I watch them perform, I think, you done good, kid. And all of you, and all of you older lesbians who have charted the path, the ones that came before us, you've done good, kid. All of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
I have a 15-year-old self, a 10-year-old self who's like, oh, yes, and oh, I'm sad for you. Yeah. And that's all real, and it's so beautiful. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I just am so in touch, and it feels like so many things are happening every single day here that there's just like this instant like, whoa. this doesn't happen in the real world.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And I'm just so grateful for this container because it allows me to see my growth. It allows me to see where I might be falling short or where I still have more growth to make. So it's just such a beautiful and everybody's so lovely and nice. So thank you for being so lovely and nice.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
This is now news to me. She did not tell me this. So we... No, I don't mean I want Muna.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Yeah, the band is Muna. They're incredible.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
I just want to preface, like just the onstage with doing this in front of a lot of people, you just were all riled up.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
We've gone down a little Moona track. Let's just bring it back. And we're going to talk about the sexuality thing later.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Yeah, I mean, I grew up kind of hiding and apologizing for my sexuality a lot. It wasn't in any way celebrated, not only in my family, but, you know, in our communities and in our country and the world. And I just felt kind of In all of those little microaggressive moments, I always just felt like, oh, I need to make myself smaller here and apologize for my space that I was occupying.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And so when we got in the car, I was baffled that this five foot two, yes, you are five two, not five four,
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Well, I spent many a day on a team and figuring out what the art of teamwork and teammanship. And Brandy, I still am learning from you and Catherine. it's really an art the way that you collaborate with all the people. And there isn't like this perception of hierarchy that you bring to any stage or any room or any conversation.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
You both are so open and generous with so much of your time and your heart. And I just, honestly, I just think you've chosen such a beautiful path for yourself in life. And I just want to, on behalf of this group, thank you for showing all of us what true community builders can look like and how it can come to fruition on weekends like this. It's really beautiful.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Yeah. And just like, don't worry, folks. I was sitting right there the whole time. I don't believe that Glennon wants Muna as her sexuality. Okay. I believe that things are fluid and Glennon has the right to say and be whoever she is.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's good. If you're always yourself, then you have nothing to worry about. Like, then it's your battery. Yeah. It's not the world turning the dial for you. You're turning it yourself. And so when you're tired, you're like, I'm out of battery. No problem. Yeah. What do you have to offer me?
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Has that ever happened? No, I'm so grateful. Now I know. I'll be like, okay, see you later.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Should we take some questions from these love bugs? I do think it's Q&A time. We have, where are they? Devin, you're right here.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Yeah, thank you so much. And for those who may not know, my brother passed away a year ago. And so this last year has been a little bit of a doozy. And I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that it's tough and confusing. And it feels like the mantra of my year this year is like, I'm good.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And one of the most beautiful things, because I kind of think that this grief thing kind of goes in a circle and it just kind of keeps spiraling. And for me, I've kind of completed this full year circle. And my brother's death is such a big lesson that time will go by quickly unless you're paying attention, right? Like, you ever wake up and you're like, my God, where did that month go?
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
But then there's like a few days or a week that goes by and it's just like so slow. And those slow days are what I'm like aching for. I'm aching for slowness. Not to slow time down, but to be as completely present as possible and to be as completely grateful for
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
for the breath that I have for this experience this weekend to be with you all and Glennon I guess it was like nine ten eleven months after he had passed away told me this beautiful story my brother's name is Peter and she said hey I have this do you want to tell the story
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And so now you go. And so Glennon told me that in the Christian faith, Jesus, one of his apostles was named Peter. And Jesus gave Peter the keys to heaven.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And when she told me that, she was like, so, you know, your brother's name is Peter, and so Peter, and you don't know my brother Peter, but he was like the biggest, loveliest teddy bear, welcomed everybody, wanted, he was like, basically, if he was the bouncer at a bar, he would let everyone in. So she was like, so don't you see? Your brother is deciding who gets in. And he's letting you in.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
That is a better story. And I was like this. I mean, tears were rolling down my face. I was like, you have kept this from me for one year? But she knew. She knew I had to be ready to hear it. And so, actually, she ended up giving me this medallion of St. Peter. And it's really beautiful, and I wear it almost every day. And so...
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
In terms of a mantra, like this year I feel like right now I'm good and I don't know, tomorrow I might be like, not. Grief is weird and for me too, as a recovered addict, I didn't realize that the grief that I was going to experience with my brother, I was also going to be dragging the train of grief that I had not yet dealt with. And that was a doozy. It's still a doozy.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
And so it's just something that I have learned to, I've resisted it and now I've learned to accept that grief will now live within me and that I will constantly be returning to it for the rest of my life. And that is okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Right there. Just as a reminder.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
conscious awake and awareness and so you can stay in touch with what is going on without having to be putting yourself in a position where your nervous system is going to get jacked up every single hour of every single day you'll listen okay we'll build it together we'll do it together i'm with you and we'll do it together okay but i think you have the right idea yeah
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
All right, I think we actually have to get to that last question. We're running out of time. Okay, so I'm done with my gender.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Right? That's good. I'm going to do it. I'm going to say that. I am awesome now.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Listen, thank you all for coming today. Thank you. And also, from the bottom of our hearts at We Can Do Hard Things, we really appreciate you tuning in and listening to us week in and week out. We love what we do, and we're going to keep doing it, keep showing up, and we're going to keep showing up for you. We'll see you next time here at Potswana. We love you. We love you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Tish Melton, everybody. Give it up for our daughter.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Do they know that this is an actual podcast that we are recording that will literally be on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast feed? Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
A bit of a... It's our North Star every year now that we've been. This is our second year and we're coming every year. I hope we get invited.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
Brandi Carlile and Katharine Carlile, for those listening.
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
I just want to do more of a detailed, like, what is it? So...
We Can Do Hard Things
LIVE from Mexico with Brandi and Catherine Carlile
I'm saying for the listener who has no idea what we're talking about.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Yeah. And sometimes, you know, you need a warm, comforting situation when you're diving into these topics. You know, everyone's got to get in the right flow for that. That's right. Exactly. And that's what we're trying to provide today is a warm, cozy atmosphere.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Yes, because it's like when you're talking and for the first time, even though I know you've said this a million times in your work, but I'm just starting to understand in my body what you're saying for the first time. is like what's destroying the planet is what's destroying our lives. It's like the making efficiency and more money and more the thing is what's destroying the planet.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
And it's also what's destroying our days and our connection to each other and our neighborhoods and our peace and our inability to rest. We are being mined and destroyed the same way the planet is being mined and destroyed. And so if we... create this thing together. It's not like there's not a bunch of things we can't do now. It's like, no, no, no. We're saving ourselves by changing the goal.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Thank you for noting that. Whenever anyone says the word segue, I just have to repeat that I've spent my entire life, up until two years ago, calling it a segue because I had only seen it in writing.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
I said, I said, everything's are going oury. Yeah. Anyway.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Okay. Dr. Ayanna Elizabeth Johnson is a marine biologist, policy expert, writer, and teacher working to help create the best possible climate future. She co-founded and leads Urban Ocean Lab and authored the book, What If We Get It Right? Visions of Climate Futures.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
So Amanda, we just asked for a specific meeting to go through every single thing that our money was invested in and we're just like, no, no, no, no. I had to Google a bunch. I remember Googling a bunch of them to find out that they were like secretly bad.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
But you can do that.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
I'm not, I'm not going to lie. It was a hard day, but it's like a day.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
She earned a BA in environmental science and public policy from Harvard University and a PhD in marine biology from Scripps Institution of Oceanography. Above all, Ayana is in love with climate solutions. And that is why we are in love with Ayana.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
We just, of all the people to talk to about this and this moment, we know it's you because, well, obviously we've read your book, we've followed your work, and in just this kind of existential moment, which I guess the moment's been going on for a long time, but Will we save the planet we live on or will we not?
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Yeah. You know, I'm listening to you thinking about how I have a little bit let myself get stuck with all of this. And I have allowed myself to go into some frozen existential dread at night, thinking about what this new administration is doing. And, you know, I was thinking about last night,
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
the idea that is constantly being thrown around now that we can just like throw away the planet and get another one.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
But that's like an underlying pitch here. That is a pitch here. And how utterly devastating that is to consider in terms of even just being a mother on this earth, that leaving people on this planet and how disgusting of a, philosophy that is.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
And then while you were talking, I was just thinking about you talking about mending a sweater and how I'm railing against leaders treating our planet that way, but in honor of my children, but my children constantly watch me throw things away that I don't need anymore. Constantly watch me donate, consume, you know what I'm saying though, not take care.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
And it just makes me think of like the way we do the small things is the way we do the big things. If we were a culture who was morally disgusted by overconsumption in our homes, if we became people who didn't throw things away over and over again, just because something shinier and better came around, we would also be people who would never be considering throwing away our planet in general.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
It is a very slippery slope. And I think I've been thinking these other people are so bad, right? While in a microcosm living the very way I'm despising the pitch of.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
You're just the person to talk to because you are just always insistent upon looking beyond the doom of it all and focusing on the could be. You always say instead of obsessing over what if we blow this, we have to ask what if we get it right? So good. Oh, my God.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
You name the baby Dr. Ayana. That makes it feel irresistible. Ever since the election, we've been talking over and over again about that Tony Cade Bambara idea of resistance is not enough. Like we have to make the revolution irresistible. And I think that a lot about your work
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
in that context it's not guilt exactly that I'm feeling it's oh all of this work isn't my life is so hard and I'm so stressed and lonely and busy and I can't also save the planet all right people no it's like my life is so stressful and busy and isolated and lonely and so I enter in this revolution so that my life can be less stressful and lonely.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
And it's what's killing the planet is what's killing our connection in our lives.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
That's a good start. That is a good first start. It is about feeling good, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
And isn't it also a way of bringing people into accountability? Because if we're just talking about the doom, then everyone freaks out and shrinks back. And you can say, it's not my fault.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
That's a really good ending. Yeah. We'll stop there. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
All right, y'all. Go listen to the playlist. Feel your feelings and then make your circles. Okay? We love you. We can do hard things. Thank God. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things?
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts,
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
spotify odyssey or wherever you listen to podcasts and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow this is the most important thing for the pod while you're there if you'd be willing to give us a five star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend we would be so grateful we appreciate you very much
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Because since the tour sold out so quickly, Lots of you were sad to not be a part of it, and we can't stand your sadness. So we're hosting a virtual event to support those who could not get tickets and to support our beloved local independent bookstores. All the proceeds from this virtual event are going to these local bookstores. They show up for us. We're showing up for them. May 6th.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Okay. So we have to change everything. Okay, great. So we'll start there and then we'll work backwards.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Why, if we know what we need to do, why are we not doing it?
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
It is getting very close to book release time. Our new book, We Can Do Hard Things, Answers to Life's 20 Questions, comes out on May 6th. You can pre-order We Can Do Hard Things anywhere you get your books, or you can go to treatmedia.com. You can also join us for a virtual event that we're doing on publication day. You guys, we're doing a live virtual event.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
If you pre-ordered the book from an independent bookstore, you don't have to buy it again to come to the event. Please register for the event by uploading your indie order at treatmedia.com. And just click the option that says, I've already pre-ordered from another indie. Okay, we'll see you there. Yay! We did it! We did it! Yay! How are you? It is such a treat to meet you. Good. I'm Glennon.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Nice to meet you all.
We Can Do Hard Things
It’s Not Too Late! How We Save the Planet with Dr. Ayana Johnson
Also, I was looking at it this morning and it's all like banged up, which I feel like is my only the books that I've really like grip brought into the bathtub with me carried in my purse. That's what this book has been. It's been on many journeys.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
It's estrogen. That's the empathy, the taking care of everyone around you. That's an evolutionary thing that is wired in us so that the people around us don't die. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
It's hard to sell something to an older woman who has herself. That's it. And what a vision to not only like have those glimpses. I think the dream world vision is not like you want to see us so that you can imagine being this when you're older. So then you can imagine that this is what's ahead. It's the way we used to live is... We're all living this together. Exactly.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
The older people are living with the middle people who are living with the younger people. And so that is all happening at once. So you have an older woman's wisdom in you. Throughout every step of that, you have the younger person's awe and joy every step of that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And we have like such fragmented lives from isolation and from just we're surrounded by people with this very narrow frame of reference on life. And that's at the detriment of all of us. It's a damn shame.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
As my daughter starts to enter into the phase where she will be going through puberty and she will be starting to go through all those stages. I'm like, I want all kinds of women around her all the time. I don't want her only talking to 12 year olds. I want us all to be doing life together at every stage, which would be a goddamn dream. But I think it is relevance is a question of centering.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Thank you so much for having me. that we've selected to be a comforting support system for all of us as we brave this new year. So in addition to our new Tuesday, Thursday episodes and the ones that we're posting on Wednesday as well, please come on Sunday for some togetherness, some support, some soothing Sunday togetherness for 2025. Thank you. We will see you there.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Who are you centering? Because I know that now when I go to a concert, I get ma'am'd. left and right. And that was a shock the first time people started like, excuse me, ma'am. And I was like, oh, I'm wearing tight black pants. And someone just called me a ma'am. Like, that's a first. So I know that I am invisible to those 30 year old men.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
But I feel absolutely as visible as I've ever been to the people who are in my orbit. Yeah. I feel more visible than ever. So why are we looking at that 30 year old man's perspective and calling it invisible when in fact it's the first time I've really emerged as visible in my real life ever.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
So we're choosing some random perspective and it's not at all random and calling that true of the whole thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
You were not important to the matter at hand for that man or that woman.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Casey, I love people who ask the questions that everyone's thinking. Like, what the hell do you mean when you say processing emotion? Because there's so many phrases we throw around that's like, truly, what the fuck does that mean?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
But I don't want to be the last one to ask because it seems like everyone's saying it like they know what the fuck it means. I am just learning this, which is why I like Casey because she's talking about the episode from a while back, what we did about when going through the breast cancer situation. And I remember I had not cried yet.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And so I was reading Prentice Hemphill's book where they talk about setting like a date with yourself to do it. And I was like, okay, I know that this is probably something I need to do. And I just don't cry really. And so I set a,
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
time and I went into my basement and I was like this will be the time where I cry about breast cancer and like I put a candle on I put on my friend Wendy's t-shirt that her partner gave me and I put on music and I just cried and it was really good. And then I finished that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Well, I was generous with myself. It was an open-ended, there was about an hour of open-ended time where I could just, sky's the limit, you know?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Yeah. I mean, at that point, I think there was probably enough stored in reserve from the prior couple months that I think it was there. However, I will tell you that flash forward many, many moons from that crying date to on yesterday o'clock. I recently have shifted up my meds.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And so I have found myself feeling this strange phenomenon of like, I feel like this is what people must feel before they think they need to cry. Oh. And so I was having like a really, really tough time, you know, and this is relevant to our friend Casey.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Everything felt like, you know, when you're like so full of food and there's no room, that's the feeling for me where it's like, everything is so full.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
full like up to my throat and there's no more room even when you're breathing I feel like I can't take a full breath it's just like there's only that little part of my throat that can take the breath in because everything else is too full that's the way it feels to me yeah so it's yesterday I'm feeling like total shit. My therapist comes on a little late to thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And I'm doing that thing where I'm praying that she had to cancel at the last minute. And I'm like, I can get out of this. This is amazing. But then she shows up and I'm like, God damn it. And we start to talk and I'm like, in my head, this is what I'm doing. Okay. I am thinking this is a code red. I can feel it in my throat. I think I might have to cry.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And so in my head, I'm going through the entire day that I have. And I'm looking through to try to find a 30-minute window where I might be able to take care of this thing that I have while I am actively trying to pretend to listen to to a woman who there's an allotted hour of time with a skilled professional to whom I'm paying hundreds of dollars to presumably do things like process my emotion.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Yes. So I'm so proud of myself. I told her that. I'm like, right now, what I'm doing, just so you know, is trying to figure out when today I'll be able to cry. Okay. Oh, that's good, sissy. That's such a good start. I did. So this relates to Casey because this is it. Okay. So we talked about it. I'm like, it's not going to work.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
You know how like if you're having sex with someone and you're like, this isn't good. We're not, this isn't going to go there. We should just stop.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
But you're like, can we, this is embarrassing for everyone. Can we just tea and just stop? This isn't going to happen. We can pretend like we're going to keep doing this and it's going to happen, but it's not. This is what I felt with the therapist. I'm like, oh, we're going to do the thing where you're going to be like, try to get it out of me. And it's going to be so awkward for everyone.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
But the, the orgasm thing is relevant truly because my therapist has talked to me about this. It is emotion is a wave. Yes. Okay. So when you're actually processing an emotion, there's all these steps. It's physiological because there's five core emotions, right? Like you don't really process feelings. You process these five core emotions.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And if one comes up and people call it different things, but you basically, the first step is recognizing it, which is like that alone takes like a lot of years, not just thinking, oh, I'm so pissed at... the mail carrier for coming late. It's like, no, you're very sad about something else, you know? So recognizing what you're feeling and then allowing the wave to come.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And that's where I always was like, nope. And I jumped ship, right? Because you have to let the wave crest up and you actually have to feel the shitty, shitty, shittiness in your body and let it all come in order to ride the wave down and finish the cycle. It's like any other physiological cycle. And so you don't get that release. You don't get that catharsis. You don't get that orgasm.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
You don't get that whatever the thing is, if you don't let your body actually ride it all the way up or down and you remain full like that. Yep. And so for me, that's what it feels like. It's the space making in your body that if you actually allow yourself to fully ride that up and down, you're actually not doing anything. You're tolerating something. And the tolerating of it
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
naturally creates what you need. Like the wave crashing makes the water stiller. Yes. That's the way it works. And so that is what processing the emotion is, but it's so petrifying because A, as we've learned that I've learned- It is so impossible for me to do that with someone else.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Like I literally, in this instance, when we're going through it, I covered my face with my hands because it's so awkward to me to have it happen that I just was like, I'm going to need to cover my face for this. And she was like, you just do whatever you have to do. But after it, it flowed through me and there was more room. And I think that's what it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
But the reason a lot of people don't do it is because it's actually so scary at the very top of the wave. That's where people usually stop because it's so scary. And that's where our fight or flight behaviors come from is that like fear right at the top.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And the physical piece is so huge of it because it's like this crazy circle, right? Because in order to ride through the emotion and create the more space in your body, you have to recognize it. But you can't recognize it until you've gotten so skilled at feeling where it is. And it's also that what your emotions are trying to tell you is how safe and stable and secure you are or not.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
That's what their whole job. That's why there's only five of them. You know, that's why there's things like fear, joy, anger, sadness, disgust. Those are the five things. Why is disgust on that list? Because it's evolutionarily, like we needed to know not to eat that fruit because we would die, because we weren't safe. So these emotions are evolved to keep us safe.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
So that's why when something happens that we don't understand why we're so disproportionately out of our minds about something, it isn't that that thing... is that bad. It's that it touches this place in us that we've never really spent a lot of time living in that feels deeply unsafe around that thing. And then the people who are like, oh, I know what I want.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
I know that that person's not good for me. I have a really highly attuned intuition and gut wisdom. It's because they practice this shit.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Because they can feel it at the slightest nudge. Whereas it takes some of us getting run over by a car to be like, I don't think that was very good. Should have seen that coming. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
I'm also right here with everyone. Yes, I'm excited because as fun as it is to talk to all the people, it's very, very fun to talk to our people. And I love when they call in. It's such a delight.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
For the people, like that seems like a fucking lot, a lot of work and thinking about it and feeling it. What I think I'm figuring out is that it's a lot of work either way. The energy that it takes to, To not let your emotions, to not let the wave come, you're putting your body up and trying to stop the wave from coming takes at least as much energy as it takes to actually let it happen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
So you're using that energy anyway. Yes. So you might as well let it create more room in your life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Yeah. And that's so interesting because, Glenn, you said defense mechanisms are trying to avoid our feelings. I think defense mechanisms are survival strategies.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
And a lot of people's survival strategies are don't feel your emotions. Yes. Right. Right. And then you start to get to the sadness of how sad it is. that your survival depended on not feeling your emotions. And so then when you can actually feel them and bring them to your relationship, oh my God, how beautiful and redemptive is that to be able to do in your relationship?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Sweet baby Georgia in her 20s. Why have we not been calling our Q&A episodes queries? Oh my God. It's a really huge mistake.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Maybe we'll bring one of these horses with their water. I feel like that pond thing was irresistible. With their thirst. With their thirst. Maybe they could come on the podcast.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
No one recognizes her anymore. She's sick of talking to us. Just help a sister out.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
It's like Liz Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, Made Me Do It, but we can do her Things Made Me Do It.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Welcome to the new podcast called Eat, Pray, Love, Made Me Do It.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Let's do an email for that too. And the subject can be made me do it. Made me do it. Made me do it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Yeah. Those are beautiful stories. I think there's a few things, like she was saying... from the posture of, I feel so bad. I don't want to be invisible like that. But also how do I integrate into my life? Which is in some ways what you're saying too. You're saying you want your coven and you want older people there integrated into your life. And I think it's a really good called.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
Just a side note of that we didn't discuss on this is like the intergenerational aspect of it is really wise for people to have older people that they hang out with and younger people that they hang out with. We're learning from all of those folks. And I think it's one of the, just in the very, very recent history of humanity, we have lost that, which is very unfortunate because
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
I think that's why we're a little adrift is that we don't have that wisdom being passed down and passed up. That's an important piece of it. I think of it as like the relevant means important to the matter at hand. And that's the thing, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
We are no longer important to the matter at hand, which is the uber striving and trying to find your identity, the uber striving to prove yourself and your worth and to be desired. I mean, there's plenty of older women that are trying to be desired, but I think they're actually more interested in what they desire as opposed to being desired, which is the shift there.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are Old Women Really Irrelevant?
hey, everybody, we're getting through, aren't we? That's what we're doing. One foot in front of the other, 2025 is looking like it might be a real doozy. And we are in it with you and we're here for you and with you. Recently, our show was selected by Apple as one of their 10 shows we love. And they called it a comforting support system for braving the everyday. And that is
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
First of all, Ernest is absolutely how I would describe you. Yes. Like, holy shit. The best. I just like already love you. I love you. And I just want to say I'm a little bit older than you. And a lot of what you're saying really rings true to a lot of the ways that I felt
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
That is so sweet. I mean, I am sorry. And I actually now I call myself a recovering Catholic. I think that it was not a good place for me to be born and raised.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
in like the late nineties, early two thousands as like a queer lesbian athlete, nobody was really out and on my team in the sports world. And so I, I relate very much to the first, like the first in the world. Yes, there was Ellen and yes, there was Rosie.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
Like, yes, there were people that came before me, but it feels like, and I don't know if I'm going to say any of this correctly, so forgive me, but what you're saying is like, there was this fall from grace with beer gate and you're waiting to figure out how to tie it up in a nice little ribbon that makes sense to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
And what I can tell you from my experience is that I had to learn that, and you're going to have to help me explain this because I always get this wrong, but when you're the first at something, the amount of questions and the amount of some of my friends and teammates, like being the first at something, like you have to answer the questions that make you not an alien feeling.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
Like they're like, how does this work? And so they would ask me all these lesbian questions and about lesbian sex and all the things, blah, blah, blah, blah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
Exactly. And I think that The thing that has brought me so much healing and ease, and my dream and hope for you is that you find this and get this at some point, is like, we've got some queer kids. We have queer children that don't and have not needed to answer those questions. And so cyclically, that is my bow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
That is what I get to experience as like, oh, that's why I had to go through that shit. That's why I had to go through that really horrible experience time and time and time again. And I'm an easygoing person and I made fun in the right ways and I can poke fun at myself and I can make light of it. But the reality is, is it's extraordinarily painful to be the first.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
To be one of the first to have to answer the stupid questions and to have to be the first and to have to be objectified and have to get comfortable with being objectified and have to get comfortable than being in your own skin. And then then you have to reject it. And so what I'm saying is. I see you. I understand in some ways how maybe you might feel and like Beer Gate.
We Can Do Hard Things
Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done
Come to our house. We want to have you over. Come back to our show. However, we can get you back. We love you very much. Thank you for being on and pod squad. Everybody go get paper doll. Paper doll.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
That's beautiful. And at what age do you recommend starting these conversations?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
Well, especially now because kids, especially as they get into their teenage years, they're being exposed to telephones, cell phones, and the internet and social media. And their one-on-one connections become so vulnerable that it is really difficult to have some of these conversations that are super important. Mm-hmm. Right.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
And so like what we've found that works in a few ways is just going for a car ride. So there's no get out, Sonia. There's no eye contact. Just lock them in. I mean, listen, Tish and I went on her tour together and we drove 4000 miles and we talked about things that we had never talked about before. It was time. And you're kind of like locked in this seat and you're bored out of your mind.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
So like stuff comes up.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
I'm not a words person like you are. And Glennon, you are and you are, Amanda. And I sometimes feel in my body a little reluctance to want to have some of these difficult conversations, these honest conversations with our kids. And I sometimes defer to Glennon to do it at times. Because she is better with words.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
But what I will say is when I did go on that trip with Tish, I grew so much closer to her. Because we were able to share each other. And I fumbled and it wasn't perfect and all of the things. But I just want to say, like, if you are curious and you might want to start... creating the bond and that relationship with your kid that you're talking about these really difficult things.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
Please get this book, read this book that Sonia has written because it is important to know what your kids are thinking. And that is a good basis to start thinking about how you want to start talking about this because it's not going to maybe come to you like this, like it comes in a lightning strike to Glennon. But it will slowly come.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
And as they age and get older and they start asking you questions, you're going to be prepared. Get the freaking book, you guys.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Talk to Kids About Hard Things: Sonya Renee Taylor
Don't like the answer, but know the answer and do not want to do the work to change because the change bit is a tough one for us oldies.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
So we have the salon, we have the plane. Can you tell us, I'd love for you to tell us about your sister. And then I want to get into some of like the signs and life impacts of how all of this shows up, but tell us how you discovered yourself in this role through your sister.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Hello, PodSquad. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. You have heard us talk about codependency on this pod before. Episode 142, Codependence, How to Stop Controlling Others with Melody Beattie. And then more recently in October 24, we did When You're Tired of Holding Up the Whole Sky. If you're like me, then when you heard us talk about codependency,
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
and being codependent, you thought I am whatever the opposite of that is because I am not dependent on anyone. Everyone is dependent on me. If you're doing all of the things for all of the people, if you're a fixer, a handler, if it gets done because you do it, if your first thought is it has to be me and your first response is I've got it. And if you are also deeply in your most honest places,
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Was there a grieving process with that? Because I think we hold on to the control so much because it's awful, but it's only less awful than grieving that we can never save our people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
to your bones exhausted, depleted, and a tiny bit resentful about the life force you are trading to make everything around you go well, then I would really, really love if you would listen to these two shows that we are doing with Terry Cole, because they are going to change your life. Terry has discovered a new kind of codependent, coining the term high-functioning codependent.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Yeah. We're going to need to circle back to that one because I have like 14 questions.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
It's not low. It's just different.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
We might plan exactly what we might say in 14 different scenarios. We might, we might when we're in the shower. Okay, Terry, it's our business.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Might we also feel responsible, Terry, for the flow of every conversation that's happening around us and make sure that certain people are getting to speak and make sure when things get dull that we spice things up. Might we do that?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global relationship and empowerment expert and the author of Boundary Boss and most recently, Too Much. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that her clients, including parents, celebrities, and Fortune 500 CEOs achieve sustainable change.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Yeah. That part of your book where you said that the question is not, or maybe this is my notes from your book. I don't know. You tell me, but the question is not, you don't ask yourself who can do it better and more efficiently, because if that's the question, then the HFC doing things will always be the answer. Correct.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
So what question do you ask yourself instead of, could this be done better by me? What do you ask yourself instead?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
No, please. The effect on the non-HFC. Yes. I'd love to hear that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
You can find Terri through her blog, courses, her podcast, The Terri Cole Show, and at terricole.com. Terri Cole, thank you for being with us today. Oh my God, thank you for having me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Okay, Terri, we are going to jump in because I feel like, I just feel very passionately about everyone knowing about what you are here to teach. You say that the more capable you are, the less codependency looks like codependency. Can you tell us what high functioning codependency looks like?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
I do feel like it's worth repeating. What y'all is holding space? We might not know what it is, but we can tell you what it isn't. Terry, go ahead. I don't even know what I said.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
I think you said it is not offering some dumbass advice that you're not even going to take in order to make myself feel better at your expense.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Yeah, you're getting in the correct lane at the grocery store. And I'm super pissed because I am counting the number of things that you have. And that is a 12 and under line, you SOB. And this is messing with my entire worldview. So it's everything.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
But I think I'm so excited that you agreed to do two episodes with us because I really am so happy to, in our next episode, talk about recovery and really talk about What is happening inside the HFC? Because I think we talk about it a lot of like, okay, so you're trying to control the person. The person isn't feeling love. They're feeling control and you're not having intimacy.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
But if you're the HFC who is pouring all of your energy, all of what feels like love coming out of you onto the other person, but you're not getting any loop of intimacy back. Mm-hmm. It isn't just about the other people. You are living your whole life without a flow of love, even though in your mind you are pouring more love out than you even have to give.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
So I want to really talk about the way we kind of reroute our life force to come from a more stable place and to come back to a more stable place, because that is the opportunity cost of all of this, right? Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Mm-hmm. All right, y'all come back for our next episode with Terry Cole. We're about to fix you. Yeah. Isn't that right, Terry? Is that correct? Three Aries and a Gemini.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
See you next time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
You tell a lot of stories in your book that I just had to laugh out loud because they felt so like they could have been inside of my own head. I think we need to lead up to your varsity story of your sister because that is like, can you tell us about the salon experience? What happens when you're sitting in the salon? Yes. See if you can pick up on some elements of yourself, people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
And you're telling yourself in that situation, I am just being considerate of others. What is actually happening? What is what you cannot tolerate in that situation that makes you automatically accommodate when it's none of your business?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
You know, it's so interesting about the drinking analogy, because as you were saying that, I was like, that feels similar to me. I don't drink anymore, but I have very good reasons to drink and very good reasons to still drink. I just choose not to.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
But when people, whether it's the salon or whether I get on an airplane and I see that, you know, those two people want to sit together and they can't because the people won't move. And I cannot physically drink. not absorb their anxiety and their discomfort.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
And so me doing the thing where I jump up and say, you can have my seat is to get rid of the anxiety that is their anxiety, but is my anxiety because I can't keep it on them. I have to take it. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
This is so exciting. Terry, thank you for being here.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You A High Functioning Codependent? Find Out with Terri Cole
Of course. This is Glennon Abbey. Hi, Terry. Hi, friends. In fact, when we were doing this and setting up, I was like, Well, let's be sure to reference our other podcast we did with Terry. And we had all thought we had done another podcast with you because we had talked about you before. Lo and behold, it's the first time. So, pleasure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
I have two questions. One, what is the need that's being met for the choosing of cynicism over some of the others that we're going to get to? And then I forgot the second question and I'll think of it while you answer.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Do cynics tend to be more loners versus like an optimist to be more like in terms of like introvert, extrovert, optimist might be a little bit more of a people-y person. Is there any research around that?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
I think that's so true. The need for certainty. It's like very egoic, right? Like we are dying to have any kind of sense of certainty. And so we will throw ourselves in either the cynics camp or this optimist camp, and we will live there because that gives us some level of safety. And I guess I'm wondering, physiologically speaking, the cynics don't fare as well long-term.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Is that the same for optimists? Yeah, are they chilling? Or are they more healthy? Like what is it for the optimists in their physiology and longevity?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
You know how they say, I've always like said out loud, it takes less effort to be kind than it does to be mean. And so I'm thinking about it from like an energy perspective. Do you have any data or information around the energy difference between being a cynic and being an optimist or a hopeful skeptic?
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
And then you get into this energy loop. Like this is an experience that I had playing soccer and being a veteran, a leader on the team. There was oftentimes I would say things that were. factually just like untrue, but they were personal, real true beliefs and things that I thought could be possible for my teammates that they were like, you're crazy. And I was like, no, this is so possible.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Like, I really believe that this is possible for you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Yeah. So Alex Morgan and I, we were sitting in a hotel and we were talking. This also happened with a former teammate of mine, Mia Hamm. Mia had the record and goals. And she just like offhandedly said to me, well, you're going to break my record. And I thought, she is batshit crazy. I mean, I must have had like 50 goals at the time and she had 158 or something. I'm like, that is insane.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
But I never forgot it because it made me feel like, oh, this person who achieved this thing believes that there's even a small chance, even like a little bit of an opportunity to And so I thought about that and I got closer and I eventually, of course, not of course, but eventually I passed her. And then, you know, similar things happened with Alex Morgan.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
When she came onto the scene, I had mentioned to her like, oh, you're going to do so many bigger things than me. Like you are going to be more famous. You're going to make more money. You're going to win more championships than I am. She's just like, what? And you just don't believe it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
So you have to like, there's almost this willing of belief into the energy between people that I think really is tapping into something divine. That's beautiful.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Are You a Cynic, Optimist, or Skeptic? Dr. Jamil Zaki Shares Which Type is Happiest
Wow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Smartphones bereichern unser Leben. Sie eröffnen uns unzählige Möglichkeiten. Wir streamen unsere Lieblingssongs, teilen besondere Momente und sind überall erreichbar. Doch oft verlieren wir uns im endlosen Scrollen. Nutz das Netz wieder mehr, um dich von neuen Orten inspirieren zu lassen, echte Erlebnisse zu planen und dich mit deinen Liebsten zu verbinden. Go We Live. Leb im Jetzt statt im Netz.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
It's gone. And that's why this book is so profound to me, because it's all of the juiciest, good, golden nuggets in one place.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Shared responsibility. And I think something around what we've done with this podcast and with the conversations we've had with each other and our friends. Wir haben uns erkannt, dass wir uns nur um die 20 Fragen umdrehen. Und ich denke, das ist etwas, was so wunderschön in diesem Buch ist. Denn die Wahrheit ist, ich möchte wirklich mehr verstehen, warum ich so bin. Oder wer bin ich wirklich?
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Spenden wir wirklich immer gute Zeit, über die Frage neben dem Problem zu denken? or the hard thing that's happening. Because I think that that's where so much of our suffering lies, is that we don't know that we're actually asking ourselves a much deeper, more important question than the problem or the hard thing that's happening in our life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
When the three of us were actually in crisis together at the same time about different things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
That's good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
You guys, I'm so excited because I am on the cover with Amanda Doyle and my wife, Glennon Doyle. Like we are co-authors of something. Yeah. Do you have any idea how fucking awesome that is for me? I just cannot believe this is happening. I know. It's finally happening.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Und Valerie und Alison sind auf unserem Team, um es den Leuten zu wissen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Ich glaube, eines der Dinge, especially now in the time that we're in. We talk about this book being the great connector, knowing that other people are going through similar things that you are. Me too, yes. Oh my gosh, I can't believe that they're writing this. This is a love letter to every one of us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
That's why the tour is going to be so fucking beautiful, because we are going to be together in theaters. around this country to be able to actually feel the experience of what it is to do life together, what it is to be wondering and spiraling around these questions that we're all having. Maybe this book can be your guide. I know it is for me. I know it's been for you, Glennon, and you, Amanda.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Because it's like, and this makes me feel a little bit emotional. As a soccer player, I... was so one-dimensional in so much of myself. And the past 10 years since retiring has gotten me to this place, to this moment. This book has been co-authored with my two best friends. And it's been made out of love and desire and grief. And this excavation, this podcast and this community and the PodSquad
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
I feel like we've gone on a journey together, but it's kind of been in the ether in a way.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Yes, but it's also an offering because I don't think this is just about me, you and Amanda. This is all of our stories. This is the map. This is what we get to hand to ourselves. I needed this book more than anything for myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Well, I think if you've had any takeaway, if you've been walking on the street and you've been listening to this podcast and you've had moments, because I know that this happens in the conversations that we have, you have moments where you're like, oh my gosh, it's so... Wahnsinn. Und dann vergesst du, es zu schreiben. Oder du bist in einer Konversation mit deinem Freund. Das passiert uns immer.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Wir sind in einer Konversation und sie sagen etwas, das unser Leben verändert. Aber du willst nicht die Konversation brechen und der Nerd sein, der ein Notebook oder dein Telefon auswählt und es schreibt. Wir haben es für dich gemacht. Das ist ein Buch für dich, deine Freunde, deine Kinder, für deine Leute, mit denen du Leben machst.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Für mich ist das der größte Geschenk, den wir uns selbst gegeben haben.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Für die drei von uns. Und ich möchte auch sagen, dass es niemanden auf der Welt gibt, der mehr auf Tour als dieser Junge liebt. Ich weiß. Oh mein Gott. Und ich bin so gespannt, mit den beiden von euch auf der Bühne zu kommen. Ich bin so gespannt, die Pod Squad in der realen Leben zu sehen. Wir werden einen Blast haben. It's gonna be so fun. Pre-order the book. Buy the tickets. Code the tour.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Vodafone. Together we can.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Hold on. Just before, in case you're about to like, you wanted to listen to the whole podcast, go to treatmedia.com, T-R-E-A-T-M-E-D-I-A.com to pre-order the book and also to get your tickets for the tour. The code is the tour. T-H-E-T-O-U-R.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Can we bring her on stage for one of the events? We're going to force you to do that, Allison.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Who's excited? I'm so excited!
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
I do think I like it too. And I haven't been this excited in a long time. Years.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
So for those who live maybe in the Midwest or up north, like in Rochester, where we say the word tour differently. I just want to make sure that I'm saying it right for all the people so that they know what the code is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Tour. It's tour. And that's what I'm going to die by.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
So if you want to order your tickets, you have to put in the code the tour, not the tour. So some people might write T-O-R-E for the tour.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
So I just wanted to say, it's the tour or the tour, but it's spelled T-H-R-E. E-T-O-U-R. That's the code in order to get your tickets for the tour.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
Like, how can I forget? I was present for the freaking conversation. I was there. Yeah, but we'd have to write it down because we'd be like, yeah, we forgot that thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Our New Book & Tour! The Secret’s Out (password for tour in pod)!
That's the thing about podcasting and conversations that are the hardest for me. Because I'll be walking and I'm an avid podcast listener and somebody will say something and I'm like, damn, that's so good. And I just keep walking.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
I feel like you just got some new negative or at least like negative seeming information on our conversation on the car ride home the other night. And I feel like that that was net positive.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
I don't think that we would be able to do that. I don't think that you'd be able to stare in my eyes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
Thanks, babe. I love it. I want to go on a date now. Great. Let's make a bowl.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
Also, can you send in dinner ideas? Okay, let's do that in a different episode.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
This is a really good app. Somebody make this app where it's like you log all of these ideas and it keeps them in the buckets and then it just like pulls out the ball or the thing and it tells you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
It's like adventure. We went on an adventure last weekend. And I just felt like there was a different vibe in the whole car ride there. And even the whole car ride back, like first of all, like we had never done this thing before and we didn't know how it would go. And it was just for an overnight. So like, I love an adventure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Date Nights: Why they Suck & How to Make them Great
I think it's the same. It's not just about feeling boredom with your partner or knowing them fully. It's also feeling boredom within yourself. Totally.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
You are, oh, oh, man. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah, but what's so cool about you too, Michelle, I'm sure you feel that people are a little reticent to open up to you because of all of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Just comes with a lot of stuff, right? But Craig, you just have this human way about you that actually makes the relationship you both have with each other. It makes me feel so much more capable of being like a normal person around your sister.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
For real. That's true. I'm just so grateful to you for that. And because this is like your sister, like this is how you are. Anyways, we just adore you both. What's your story?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Well, my advice, it's funny, Michelle, you had kind of mentioned this a little bit earlier, but we have a 16-year-old, a 19-year-old, and a 22-year-old. Kids that are a little bit younger than yours and I think a little bit younger than yours.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Oh, yeah, yeah. He's got the older ones.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Right, right, right. Yes. Love it. In about a year or so, we'll become empty nesters, technically. We have artists in our family, so I think they'll probably live with us after college.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Follow your dreams, we said. But I think that one of the things that I'm trying to cultivate in myself is my own life outside of them right now. I want to be prepared for this empty nest moment. And I think there's something that you said you actually were so generous to let us include it in our new book. But this is actually advice from you, Michelle, around children and raising kids.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
You say it was our job all along as parents to get them to a place of not needing us. We can't wait until our kids are 23 and out of the house to teach them that they can get themselves up in the morning, that they can handle their homework. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I'm going to read Craig's because I see a lot of sportsy things in here. He's amazing. Craig Robinson. He's the biggest love bug. I love him. He is the executive director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches and host of the Higher Ground podcast, Ways to Win.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And from 2017 to 2020, he served as the vice president of player development and minor league operations for the NBA's New York Knicks. Previously, he was a Division I head men's basketball coach at Oregon State and Brown and spent more than a decade working as a trader in the investment banking industry. He is the brother of former First Lady Michelle Obama.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And if you're interested, you should check out both of their podcasts. They're doing it together. It's called In My Opinion, IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Human. Michelle is just, she's just the absolute best. I love her and we are so grateful for them to be on and for them having us on their podcast. Y'all just listen to this one. Enjoy it. It was a joy to do. It was touching.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
And if it is a love, a joy and a passion, I didn't know that I was going to make a career out of playing soccer. There was no way that I was going to do it. I just, I mean, I was in eighth grade before Olympics was women's soccer was in the Olympics and I was writing, I'm going to win a gold medal playing women's soccer one day.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
We can dream things into reality. So that would be my advice. Yeah. I like that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah. How about you, babe, before we go?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Now it's going to happen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Well, love you guys. Thank you so much. Pod squad. We will see you next time. Absolutely.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
I.M.O. I.M.O. What did I say? You said M.I.O. You're just dyslexic about it. That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
Yeah. Yeah. But you got to be careful because, you know, with teenagers, I was watching this thing the other day and a lot of streamers and networks, they're making content and the words that they use are second screens. So when your children are watching, is it second screen material enough for them to also be on their phone? Is it something that isn't as detail oriented?
We Can Do Hard Things
Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson: Their Mother’s Last (Life-Changing) Advice
So when we're sitting on the couch with our kids and they pick up their phones, I want to like go over there and snatch the phone out of their hands, like watch the show with us.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And also, I just want to say shout out to Monrovia and Mon. Those guys, we were on the road with them. wonderful human beings.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Just, like, really good people listen to his music. Just listen and just know that they are stamped approved by me. As good as they seem.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Traveling around the country with 30-year-old dudes.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Tour manager. Tour manager. Parent. Driver. Food getter.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Okay. I want to talk a little bit about like the process. Okay, babe. Go for it. Because I think that it's important for the pod squad to understand our collective family's process around... the planning, the prepping, and then the doing of the tour. So obviously Trish was like, yes, this is wonderful. And then you and me, She's 18. How are we going to do this?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
How how are we going to send this child of ours out into the world? OK, we got to figure out how to make this work for our schedule. So we changed a lot of stuff business wise. Yeah, we did. I have to root her travel from gig to gig to gig to gig. I have to rent a car. Obviously I have to rent hotels along the path of the route that we would be driving.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And one thing that I just remember early on when I was doing this was like, I was thinking about my mom a lot and how much time she spent driving me all around the Northeast, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours, thousands and thousands of miles at you know, I'd have a tournament in New Jersey from New York. Well, that's another seven hour drive.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And so I thought a lot about what that time was for her and I, and we would listen to the cassettes on tape. You know, you'd get like 10 John Clancy or whatever the murder mystery. Tom Clancy or Tom Grisham. Yeah. Yeah. Those two. Same, same. And so I was like trying to figure out like in my mind, like, what is going to be best for Tish.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And one of the most important things to me, at least I'll speak for myself. I am a bougie traveler because I've done over 3 million miles of my life and I can't not traveling in a way. I would have preferred to fly from place to place and stay in nicer hotels, but I couldn't do this to her.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Exactly. Maybe in a year's time or two years time, she's now back out on the road, but without her parents and she has a horrible experience. So I was like, OK, I had to go back to the beginning of like my traveling experience and just go back there and just dive right in. So that's what we did.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
We stayed in, you know, the lowest cost because, and it's not just because I wanted her to have that experience. It was budgeted. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Let's just put it that way. It was an important, we weren't netting positive. Yeah. It's an important lesson to try to teach her. Hey, look like the idea is to make money, but obviously you're a new artist. It's probably going to be impossible to make, to come out you know, on top after this, but like, let's try, let's do our very best. So, you know, I walked her through the whole budget.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
We talked about like what we were going to do. We got snacks for like breakfast. Actually, no breakfast was free at all the places we went to. Oh, yeah. You get those eggs in that waffle machine. But we had snacks and lunch in our Mama Claire every day. And then dinner would be after her set because she couldn't eat.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
So I just wanted to give a little background on that piece because, you know, and halfway through the trip, she's like, I will always no matter what happens in my career, I will always be able to like say that I did this. You know, like, in an 18-year-old, I don't know what she's thinking will happen with her career.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
But eventually, I think the dream for her would have, like, a tour bus and to do the thing. Like, we all imagine, like, rock stars doing the thing. But she did say, like, I know that I will always have this to be able to say that I did. Like, I accomplished this. And honestly... This is true. I didn't know if Tish was cut out for the life on the road. I really didn't.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I knew she said she wanted it. I knew she said, but the reality of life on the road like that is very different than in maybe the reality that she was having in her mind.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
You do it. You're just getting it a little bit.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Are you looking into security? Because people are going to be on you.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
There's a lot that happens prior to. So like the way that this whole thing was set up is like she would play the night of. we would go back to the hotel and then the next morning we would have to drive all the way to the venue, which is sometimes eight hours away. So you'd basically take the whole morning and drive the next day.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Yeah, the whole morning and most of the early afternoon, right? Okay. So sometimes we'd have to drive straight to the venue given what time we needed to get there. Sometimes we had time to go to the hotel, shower, and go. We had to do our laundry in a venue. at the music venue, they had a laundry machine. Cause this is what they do.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Like usually people are going from venue to venue in their tour buses and they don't have access to, or in like a van and they don't have access. So some of them have actual like showers. So on an average day, we would actually just go straight to the venue and Tish would do her soundcheck. So we'd get in there. Monrovia would be on the stage doing their soundcheck.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And then when they were done, Tish would go do her soundcheck. And so at that point, I'd get all of her stuff on stage, whether we traveled with the mic, all the chords, her guitar, guitar stand, the whole thing. Then I would have to put her water bottle on stage with her set list so that she could keep it all. So like I was doing all of this stuff.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I was like basically doing like six people's jobs eventually that I'm sure she'll have. But then there she was. About to go on stage every night, just standing there. No introduction. She walks out by herself.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I wanted to shush people. Glendon's like looking around over her shoulder. Anybody's talking. She's looking at them, trying to get them to shut up. But this is what Tish would say. My goal is to get them to pay attention to me, is to get them to stop talking to each other or stop talking at the bar and to actually turn and look at me and listen and try to listen to me.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And God damn it, wouldn't you know it? Almost every single night that happened. It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Yeah. And it's funny because like the first couple of shows... It was a weird thing to be in this body of mine. Tell us more. Well, knowing how much she wants this thing and knowing how hard she's worked for it and seeing the process from the time she first picked up that guitar. I mean, you were in those rooms like Tish is not a kind of person that likes to do things she's bad at.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
So the process of learning how to play guitar, number one, the process of writing lyrics, then the process of learning how to sing, then the process of learning how to do all of those things together. It has been a long one and a hard one for her. And it's been hard one. And so it was just like my body was buzzing for sure. I wasn't nervous for her.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
It was like this out of body experience where you were seeing your kid do the thing that they want to do and you were seeing them do it. And of course she's 18 and I'm sure we'll have a lot to learn and a different, you know, whole life to live. But very, very rarely do you actually get to witness it.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
In full view that you are like, you know, you're witnessing one of the most important moments of your child's life and that you also were present in the process for them to get there. Yes, I know graduations and all these things, but like to watch them be in the pursuit of their dream of this wild dream. Mm hmm. And I don't know, I was having like all of these really cool.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
This is more selfish minded. I was just having these really cool like, wow, you have had an impact on her. Of course. You have helped her and believed and and allowed her the space and the confidence to even have like the idea to do that rather than like even the doing of that. So yeah, when she came off the stage the first night, it was so fun to be next to her.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And it was so cool to be, people were asking for her autograph and pictures and the car ride home was like so spectacular. And we were like on FaceTime because Glennon, you weren't there for that first night. Mm-hmm.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
So basically my arms were locked up because I had to hold my phone on the FaceTime for the entire show. But when Tish and I got back into the car to head back to Bubba and Tish's house because we were staying because it was in D.C. right next door to you, Amanda. Tish, like we were talking and she was like high basically on adrenaline.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
She had her first and I just didn't know if she was going to like it. I didn't know if it was going to be like, oh, thank God that's over. But it was like she kind of like whispered to herself under her breath. I can't wait to do that again. That's huge.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Yes. And I knew right then and there. Oh, shit. Here we go.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I know. And I just wondered... It was so fucking meaningful to me to have this time with her. And I appreciate you, like... so much giving me the space to do that with her, especially knowing how much you love our kids and how important it is for you to have a big role. How was it for you? Did you feel jealousy or sadness that you weren't more?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And then I got really bad altitude sickness. We had to drive from Denver to the middle, like between Denver and Salt Lake City.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Why did she have to come? She wasn't thinking that. She was worried about you, first of all. And then also like she said, how are we going to drive for the rest of the time? She said that when you were throwing up.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Not a little bit, a lot bit. I really needed a break from driving. It was huge for me because we had driven thousands of miles and we had thousands more to go. So like having Glennon to actually drive to give me like the break to just sit there and stare out the window and not have to like pay attention and be vigilant. Like Glennon handled it, handled the business.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Can I say something really quick? Please. So I don't know. I just think that one of the things that people don't realize, and I think that is like important is there has been over a year's worth of work that has gone into this book coming out into the world and work that sister you've done and Glennon you've done and I've done and our entire team has done.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Well, I mean, I got pretty good at leaving the control at the door. I took care of shit. That was my role. That was my job. And so Tish knows that I had a system. I'm a very systematic person when it comes to this kind of stuff and a routine. So every day you get there, you do the same thing. And she needed the routine too. It felt safe for her. So I was kind of like modeling to her what,
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
will feel good long term. And her routine was her routine. My routine was my routine. But then we started to have like a little superstition stuff happening that like I'd have to say the thing before she got on stage. What would you say? Can you share? Yeah, I'd say have a good sing.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
But one of the things... Yeah, one of the things that I have tried really hard to do in parenting all of our kids is... to try to just be their parent rather than like the champion all-star person who knows what it's like to be on stage. So really try to ask more questions than give any advice because they really don't ask us for any advice.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And so for the fact that for so long, sister, you have been kind of in, you know, back of the house, this podcast has put you more in the front of the house. And I feel so relieved and excited. For us, but like more for you, because this is exactly like you have worked for over a decade.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Never once has our youngest daughter who plays soccer asked, said, Abby, can I talk to you about soccer? Can you give me some help or advice on soccer? Never, not once. And that I would say I'm pretty expert at. I would know all of the answers to her problems.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Yes. And also like as a professional speaker, person who's been on a lot of stages, I don't get stage fright. This would be also an area that Tish could, if she wanted to, come to me and I could give her some real expert advice. But they don't want that. They have to figure this shit out on their own. So I don't know. I just was there.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I mean, one of the most beautiful things about the entire trip and the thing that I dreaded the most was the driving. The 4,000 miles that we had to traverse around this country in order to get her from gig to gig and also up into Vancouver, Canada for a gig. Lots of driving, lots of driving, lots of driving. And... Lots of time that we were just sitting next to each other in silence.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Lots of time that we were sitting next to each other and getting so bored and somebody would just say something that that was on their mind. Or Tish would actually start asking questions about my life that she had never known about. Like, tell me about high school or who is like your first heartbreak or what about that person? Why did that happen? Blah, blah, blah.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And she started to be like, oh my gosh, you have so much lore. That's what their generation calls like storytelling, like art. Oh, I haven't heard that lore. That's good. So much lore because it's got this drama component to that word.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
This dissemination of information. I know. And Glennon, like that's part of like the FOMO that I knew Glennon probably was having because. Conversations. To be honest, like.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Yes. But also Glennon wasn't there to also, because I think that I was just like much more free. to talk with her. Because when Glennon is around, I sometimes I sometimes get in my head like, is this a story I should tell? But like Tish and I were buddies on our trip.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
We weren't like parent child. We were just like two people traveling along the road. And a couple of rock and rollers, man.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
That is how all the greats started. Yeah, there's part of it that could also be problematic. But we're lesbian moms, you know? Like, we're not going to send our 18-year-old daughter out on the road by herself.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
in such a capacity that honestly, like seeing all three of our names on the front cover of this book is one of the most emotional things to me because like we work really hard at what we do. And I just think it's really important for you, especially for the recognition that you have long deserved and we've been giving it to you behind the scenes, but now the world gets to give it to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
That's what I think we should do. I think that we should do something that we can get people together, get them all in the same room. I honestly, and I know this might sound selfish because I also believe that the pod squad would love it. But I actually think we need it. I think that we need to be in places where we see other people that want to do the life that we're doing together.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Honestly, it was a pleasure. It was one of the best times of my life. I would do it again.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I would do it again in a heartbeat. And yeah, I mean, lots of interesting new things to learn about the music industry that I didn't know. And I also understand that like there's going to come a time for Tish that she decides to do this without us. What? And that is going to be okay. Don't worry. We'll talk about it later.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
We'll see. I mean, listen, I will say this, that it'll be hard for Tish to find another tour manager, roadie. Who's less expensive than you. Yes. Actually, yes, very much so. I'm going to be the cheapest and most loving and most conscious. Like there was a part of me when we were on the road that I was like also teaching her how she should want to be treated.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
And so like when something felt a little off to me, because not every room is the same you walk into. Not every promoter is the same. Not every manager of the bar or the event space is the same. So you, you have to feel it. And so like, I would say like that person, did that person feel a little off? And it's like, Yeah, for sure. I'm like, yeah, I got that vibe, too.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
So like trying to like make sure that she's staying in her body and aware of when she's interacting with some folks. And I think that that she's so mature in so many ways. But going out into the world, you become a baby again. And honestly, it's really like it's helped our relationship.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
She doesn't come to ask me things as much because when we were driving, I needed to ask her, hey, can you Google this thing? Hey, can you? And so I was like also helping teach her like how to solve problems, how to like think through. And she's very mature. So I'm not saying that I taught her this on the road.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
So my, my dream and hope is that you're going to be able to receive this What I know will be so much love coming to you. And if we do need to hire some more security because people are going to be out of their mind about you. Clamoring.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
No, no. I mean, I will say this. One thing I love about the decision that Tish has made to take this quote unquote gap year from not going to college and to do this regardless of what happens is the stretching that this is doing for her comfort level. Like she is putting herself so far out there.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
You could not pay enough money in tuition in college to like create an environment like this that is going to teach them one of the most important things in their life that you can get up there and you might not have won over the crowd. Or you just didn't have the perfect set.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
There was just so much in life that she was learning in this crash course in like three weeks period of time that I just kept being like, wow. Even the idea of eating healthy, because when you're on the road, that is hard to find healthy food. And she was like craving this healthy food that she gets all the time living in our home. So it's like all of this stuff.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I just felt like so grateful for all of the time that we got to spend together. It is a time of my life that I will never forget. And in some ways, and I know that I feel like their parent, but Tish has been like a harder one out of the three to prove that, yes, I am. And I am in a way that you can kind of
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
treat me like a parent is treated that I'm gonna ask for a lot from you and I'm gonna expect nothing in return and so it was like this beautiful moment that I felt with her that I don't know just like in bold solidified I don't need to earn shit from Tish anymore Whatever way that works. I feel like I've proven. Cemented. Yeah, I've cemented myself in her heart. And that feels really cozy.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. And I'm one of those people that has my whole life worked really hard behind the scenes before people got to see the product on the field. And so the celebration, like the getting on stage and to be in community with our people and to celebrate this gorgeous book in the world, this book that is actually saving my life on a daily basis is,
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
To me, it's just, I don't know. I just feel really tickled about it.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Or you're like, what are they? What acts exactly are they talking about? It's so weird. You're like, oh, what chapter are you on?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
I'll just call myself, I'm an idiot every morning.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Same. We'll see you guys on tour. Let's go.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
She's a woman who is singing in your ear balls.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
Also, she was going through a period of her life that she was just angsty, like she was getting into the angsty teenage years. Yeah. And I thought, oh, what about this guitar? Maybe this will help.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Abby Learned On Tour with Tish
What is that thing called? What's going on? It's like equal. Equalizer. Equalizer.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Manifestation is for the privileged. It's for the few who don't have these huge brick walls as obstacles in front of them. I think that that's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
You know, there's only... There's these like... White manifestation is different. Like white lady manifestation.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
So I feel... I guess the word is conflicted, but I feel like there's a paradox within me around this because I 100% believe that manifestation works when it works. And I also 100% believe that there is a reality that it's full of shit. And I guess the only thing that it makes me feel a little bit better believing that we have this like
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
unknowable and unseeable connection with the world and our lives and the outcomes. It makes me feel like, I mean, when I was playing soccer and I've talked about this on the pod before, but the book, the secret, the Celestine prophecy, the movie, what the bleep do we know? I don't know if you guys ever saw the movie. What the bleep do we know? Well, like everything is matter in the world.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And part of this movie in terms of like our bodies being water is And us being able to literally look at the molecules in the chemistry of water when you like send positive energy and loving thoughts towards it, it actually makes the water molecules different looking than when you send angry and mean energy towards water. Now, I know this sounds so wild and... It doesn't.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
But like, I want to believe that I, me, in my body... can affect we and the world in a way. And I'm not saying like, I'm going to make the world a better place, but I believe, and I believed on the soccer field that if I energetically believed and manifested and had an intention of some beautiful outcome, And I was tapped into myself enough.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And I was also tapped into the energy of my teammates and the energy of the crowd and the energy of the millions of people watching on television that I believed that there was more of a chance we could win. Now, we didn't win every game. So this philosophy and idea falls flat because we didn't win every game. I didn't manifest the win every time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
But then there has to be this like reality and acceptance of the universe actually having a part to play in the roles of how all of our lives kind of unfold. Because so much of what happens is a matter of timing. When we were born, the generation we are living through, the things that are happening, like these trends and forces that are outside of ourselves that we don't have much control over.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And then how we like pivot and interact within all of it. So I 100% believe in manifestation and also in the same breath. I also 100% think it's fucking bullshit.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Because scientifically it's called imagery. It's called imagining something because it's creation, right? Like you're creating something out of nothing. And how do you know where you're going unless you've created it in your mind already? The blueprint.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Yeah, I think one of the things, sister, that you were just saying about like one of the pathways here is like the universe conspiring on your side and good things will happen to you, right? Karma, all this stuff. Mm-hmm. I actually don't believe that the universe is conspiring for us. Oh, I don't. I will not since my brothers died.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
When he died, I went through like a really troubling process of therapy and where I had to get really honest with myself and confronted about the question of like, if you're a good person, then good things happen to you. And I think that that's where part of this, like, you know, the universe is conspiring in your favor. I think the universe is happening. The things are happening.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And how you interact and perceive what is happening is the important part. Because you know, I'm at least now at a place where, of course, I wish my brother were alive. But I'm also like, wow, this has taught me so much. And I'm having some gratitude around the difficulty and the grief and the trouble that this has caused me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
At first, last year, I was in the trouble of it and it was excruciating and I hated it and I didn't want to be participating with it, but I stuck with it. And now it's like, so the way we think about the universe happening to us, the way we interact with our thoughts around the the world that is happening to us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
To me, in terms of being a pretty positive and optimistic person, I don't know if this is something that you can teach yourself, sister. I'm sure you know more about that, but I want to live in a life for the brief time that I'm here feeling like not that the universe is going to, but that I'm going to have a very interesting experience. And I want to believe that certain outcomes are possible.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
A little treat from me to you. Yeah. And also just for those listening, like you guys don't understand how much joy this is bringing Glennon. Every morning I walk upstairs to get my coffee and she's like, I did it. I wrote a thing. I did it. And she's doing it every single morning. And it's so fun for her and the joy that it is making and bringing to our family. It's been a full on real treat.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
I want to believe that there are certain things that I can do that will allow the universe to teach me the lessons that I meant to learn here during earth school, as Liz Gilbert says.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
All right, you guys go to glennandoyle.com. You're going to see a signup box in the top middle of the page where you can submit your email address. And if you're on Instagram, go to the page, click the link in the bio, sign up for the newsletter. It's the second button. You can do it. We love you. It's going to be a treat.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
That's interesting. Can I tell you the story? Yes. So I am listening to Sapiens, the Yuval Noah Harari book. And this book is blowing my mind. It's been out for years. And part of the book, it's talking about like evolution and how we are descendants of Neanderthals. And one of the things that is just like,
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
really, really coming to me right now is that I think that where we are as a Homo sapiens animal, where we live on the evolution timeline is I think that we are in an in-between space. Because you can imagine the early ancestors, our early ancestors,
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And them figuring out, and he writes about it in this book, that they had to figure out how to defeat the Neanderthals to be able to take over the world. And part of the defeat was the evolution of a Homo sapien was that they told myths and stories. So our consciousness, our cognitive revolution is what he called it, the ways in which our brains are different.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
than those of the Neanderthals and the other cousins of the Homo sapien. To me, it's like we're living in a story that has been told over and over again and has been risen up and brought down with different regimes and empires, all of it. But I just wonder, like, where are we on the timeline here of our evolution? Where else will we gain access?
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And I do think that this kind of thinking, I do think science matched with spirituality and humanity. It's a fascinating thing to me to think about that the way that we evolve and societies are formed and cultures are formed and little families are formed is by the stories we tell about it. And the stories that then get embedded into us. So we are a storytelling-driven species.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And so it's like, if you break that down just into the individual, it's like, okay, what are the stories that have been embedded into the software of me? Are those stories aligned with the way I want to live my life? Are they aligned with society? Are they aligned with culture? If not, I mean, freaking psychedelic stuff.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
We could go down the psychedelic route here and unwind and try to get into what these little embedded stories are, whether they're the ones that you want to be carrying or not, pull them to the top, bring them to the top of your consciousness to be like, sort it out. Oh, no, I don't want to do that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
So I say all of this is like, if people are more interested in this Sapiens book, I'm fascinated by this idea right now. And I really do think that we are in an in-between space where maybe the next, you know, thousand years, by the way, I'm not talking about like the next generation or Gen Alpha, like in a thousand years, maybe we'll be able to tap into this other thing. I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Hello. Oh, gosh. I, you know what? What, babe? I really was excited about this episode today.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Yes. You were? In past tense, you said I was excited. Are you no longer? No. In the past, I've been excited about this because it's so beyond me. in a way, but thinking about it. And it requires a different level of preparation. So I've left all of my brain outside and I've just come with my spirit.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Right. You know what? We're not even going to tell you what the email or the phone number is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
And the reason why... Why did you say it so bizarrely?
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Oh, I love that book. I was so in that book. Of course you did. God, that book was the best. Wait, wait. You loved that book. Oh, Law of Attraction, the whole thing. I went down, I bought the videos. I bought all of that shit.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
It was, by the way, I just started living on my own. I think this is like an 05-ish. It was 06.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Yeah. And I just got my first little condo. I was living by the beach in Los Angeles and I was like really feeling myself. And at the time as like a new adult, it's like 25. I felt like I needed to have a kind of belief system because I had just exited the Catholic church and I didn't have much. Atheism felt kind of lonely.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
There's not like a group, or at least there wasn't at the time that I knew about that I could attach myself to. And then this book and this philosophy kind of came out and I think Oprah was all into it also. So I just like dove in and I was like, oh, this is like so interesting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
The spiritual world, like it gave me access to the spiritual world that I knew like the Catholic religion was giving to people who firmly believed in Christianity, Catholicism.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Well, it's like these different ways of thinking about it. So one of them is like law of attraction. Right. That was like a huge thing that I was really trying to understand more about myself, trying to understand, like being on the national team. And I don't know, I was just trying to evolve that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
In spiritual, mental and emotional ways that was going to help me become a better leader and a better soccer player. Like that's what my goal for this was. And I don't remember every single rule or law that was written in the secret, but I just remember the feeling of feeling like this is religion, but in the spiritual way.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
the life that you want. And believe. Like, I think that there's a belief system that has to be a part of, I don't know, for me, like when I think about the reality coming true of the life that you dream of, you have to believe in its existence before you actually enter into it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
Yes, but I totally disagree with you. I think that at least the form of manifestation that I ascribe to you it's not just a calculation with me and myself and my thoughts. It is a calculation with me, myself, my thoughts, and the energies of the world and your energy and our kids' energy. I am trying to cultivate and manifest using all of the different energies.
We Can Do Hard Things
Manifestation: Is it Real or BS?
It's not just like, oh, only, and I understand that some people only ascribe to like, your thoughts will create your life. I get that. That is not how I interpret life. my form of manifestation at all.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Finding a great mentor who can really help me level up, it's not easy. But my dream mentor, Jodi Foster, she's our friend. So when I heard that she had a class on Masterclass, I was so excited to learn from her. Masterclass is the ultimate way to learn from the best to become your best. It's the only platform where you can access over 200 world-renowned instructors.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Navigating otherness. Isn't it fun?
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And so it's really tricky. Doesn't this kind of just the way you describe it then just made me like really see that it's illuminating the possible shared reality that might not be aligned so one person might be in a different place connectivity wise to their other partner and that is why the conflicts happen
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
because maybe the 90 of the time glenn and i are fine it's because we are connected and we do trust each other and we do give each other the benefit of the doubt and then this other period of time maybe one partner feels a little less connected and so when these moments happen it's like what is the not just the wound but like what is the actual state of where we are as a couple
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market or bear market, rising or falling rates, inflation up or down. Can someone please invent a crystal ball for me? Until then, over 41,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud ERP.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
With this unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real-time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash hard things. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash hard things. netsuite.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
The way that you explained it made me think of like creativity on one end of the spectrum and And reality and truth on the other. So you're saying an artist, their job is to look out and see what is true, what is happening, and to be extraordinarily honest.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And I think that that's one of the things that I think about you that I respect and admire so much is your ability to see what is happening and to be honest about it. So many of us, myself included... We walk around the world and I want to pretend that reality is somewhere more in the middle, in between a beautiful version, a different version of heaven. And then artists live on the truth side.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And what you're saying is the vision is over on the other side of the spectrum. And the anxiety, I think, lives when you are just in the noticing of what is. rather than trying to go and create what it could be. So does this make any sense? There's a spectrum and one side is the way things are and the other side is the way things could be.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And that gap is where some artists might experience this anxiety where you're closer to the way things are before we get to the way things could be.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
For just $10 a month, an annual membership gives you unlimited access to every instructor. One session that truly has made an impact on me was James Clear's class on building new habits. His actionable tips helped me create a daily routine that really does actually work. With 88% of masterclass members reporting a positive impact, it's clear why classes are so effective.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
One thing I remember was a concern of yours when you were at the early stages of your eating disorder diagnosis and the recovery was this kind of
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
correlation between anxiety and creativity and that when you are tapped into this kind of anxiety and depression and all of that comes with it, I think that there was a part of you because you're an artist and you do kind of, and have kind of swayed between these two poles. I think you were nervous if you were going to actually get well and maybe you
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
deal with this anxiety and depression that would there be any creativity left could you muster the creativity is the anxiety something inside of you that's creating the creativity exactly I do worry about that and I don't have a like a super great answer I haven't figured it out completely but I'll tell you I've written 50,000 words I've written a book's worth of
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Okay, then I propose we change the name of this podcast.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Plus, every new membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash hard things. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash hard things. Masterclass.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
I think that this is like really interesting and helpful the way that you're kind of framing it, Sissy, and you too, Glennon. And I think one of the things that I've noticed in our marriage that this happens to us because Glennon also likes to have fun and the wit and who can like land the thing the fastest, like that's part of our marriage dynamic. And I think that rather than focusing on for us.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
No, I think that we do have a way with each other that the way we sometimes we tease and we like have fun. And I do. I think that we're like playful with each other. Ninety percent of the time. Here we go. It lands. And then there's this 10% gray area where it doesn't.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And Susie, I love that you're talking about the specificity of some of this like jokey, teasy behavior, because I think that's really helpful. I also think that sometimes the 10% gray area just has to do with where we are both at in our collective day, in our collective emotional state. And so it's this being in touch with your partner. And sometimes Glennon will have to say like, I'm in the 10%.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
And so it's like really helpful for me to be like, okay, like,
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
Yeah, well, this is what I was going to say. I think it's important to actually think about the way in which we're all trying to connect in this jokey, teasy way. Because I think all of us tend to do it. But what I have actually figured out, which is maybe why you don't think that we tease or joke very much, it's because I actually think
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
that the teasing and joking is trying to communicate something actually real without saying, that really bothers me. It's a cover. And then the partner gets defensive. Like, no, I was just joking.
We Can Do Hard Things
What If My Partner’s Jokes Hurt My Feelings?
You have to be honest about what you're doing.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Oh, that's so beautiful.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Well, it's so beautiful, too, because when I think about rituals that I do with people, when I'm mad at them, I don't want to do it.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So it is a mark that is beyond me. our daily bullshit too, right? It's like communities ritual of going to church or ritual of the neighborhood Christmas lighting or ritual of So much shit could have gone on that year. Neighbors could be mad at each other. Congregants could be fighting. And yet we come back together and we do this thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So it is almost like it's a celebration of human nature and a protection from human nature.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Hi, PodSquad. I've been waiting for this episode for a very long time, ever since I started hearing from our guest who is on today, who is going to be talking to us about ritual. And I am delighted about this conversation because I am completely obsessed with rituals. That's all I do all day. So I cannot wait to get into this today.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I like it. And... His TEDx talk, How to Buy Happiness, has been viewed more than 4.5 million times. Michael, welcome to We Can Do Hard Things.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So that reminds me of the drought that young parents have of sleep. I have heard you talk about why it is that we create elaborate rain dances every night for our children to go to bed. I had to read the good night moon. We had to look for four pictures. It had to be at like 749. We had to sing certain songs. We had to have the certain blue passy. And I heard you say, It's so funny.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So this podcast is largely about how to make life more meaningful or how to notice that it already is, okay? So in this conversation, we really do want the pod squad to take away ideas about why ritual matters and how we can use it to add meaning to our individual lives, our relational lives, our families, and our communities. So to that end, can you first start by telling us what is a ritual?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I don't think we did any of that stuff for our kid. I think it just helped us have some measure of control over this uncontrollable thing. You can control whether a child's going to sleep about as much as you can control whether it's going to rain.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
And it's frayed. It's a frayed time. Parents fray. When your sleep is scarce, it is hard not to turn on each other, just like any community. And I wonder, now that you're speaking, if that sort of ritual also brings you back to each other. We know we're going to do these things each night. parents have gotten through this for centuries before. We will survive this.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Can you talk a little bit about the relationship between control and ritual? Because I am a person who struggled with all different kinds of control issues for so long. And it's curious to me that I am so reliant on ritual for someone who has tried to find 7 million different ways to control the cosmos. And talk to us about, was it the pigeons?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
There's some control story here that's really helpful to me. Yeah, the pigeons. Tell us about that.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yeah. And what is the difference between superstition and ritual?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
It's like reverse psychology and God or something, because it's like whatever God is, it's an entity looking down at us like we're a bunch of little pigeons. Oh, there she goes with her candle. There she goes with her tarot cards. There she goes with it. And we're just like, bop, bop, bop, five things. And it's all random.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
That's what religion is. I mean, I'm spiritual, I'm religious, whatever the hell that means. And I always think, is this just a bunch of superstitions we're doing? Like, at what point does prayer and religion go over to... Okay, here's how I, in my life... Michael's like, don't ask me that question.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Okay, anyway, this is how I, in my own self, monitor when I'm keeling over towards weird compulsive superstition as opposed to ritual. Which is, for me, when I'm in ritual, it's because I am there to remember a reality that already exists. When I move to superstition, it's when I start believing I am creating a reality with the action. So it happens to me.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
If I have a weird morning and I can't do my candle and I can't do my meeting and I can't do whatever, and then I'm like, well, I'm fucked. Or if anything goes bad that day, I'm like, well, what did I expect? I didn't do my candle.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Well, I would think that the... ultimate goal of ritual. It's like meditation. You meditate on your mat 20 minutes a day, not just so that those 20 minutes will, you'll remember that you're not your thoughts and you can find peace, but so that eventually off the mat during the day, you can tap back into that reality and remember. And for me, ritual is the same.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Why are you looking at me, Michael? Okay. Well, I understand like when I wake up, I have all kinds of morning rituals, but I do brush my teeth first.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So if ritual is working correctly, I can just remember the candle. I can have micro doses of of remembering what I was trying to formally remember in that moment. That it's always there. It's just something you can tap back into off the mat or off the ritual.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
That's what I really believe, actually. We're ridiculous. I really do think I believe that shit that he just said. And I believe that the being will be like, all right, but you guys, whoever you guys is, I don't know. You guys is the beings. Council. Team. I don't know. Friends. They'll be like, okay, but you guys, she did do it on Tuesday.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So I know it's Thursday, but we can probably give her a break until at least Friday. But if she does not show up for that candle on Friday, all hell's going to break loose.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Okay, here's another reason that I think ritual is important. First of all, to remember the reality that there's more going on here. There's a magical... whatever love connection that is going on beneath and around all of our mechanical adulting.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
You drink your coffee. You go upstairs. You make your coffee and drink your coffee before you brush your teeth. Kind of makes sense.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I guess I just mean anybody who's remembering that they want to remember that they're not a robot. That they're not just some means to capitalistic ends. It has nothing human about them anymore. It's like when you're over adulting and you just want a human. And then tied to that is the idea of wanting to feel it all.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Wanting to feel the entire human existence, which we don't get to do inside of our daily lives. And don't get to do through habits. Because I am so annoyed by habits often. Because it just feels like Abby's a habit person. And I just feel so bossed around and I feel like it's just wanting me to be habits, want me to be happy all the time. They want me to be optimized. Optimized. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
And I actually don't want to be optimized all day. And I actually don't believe that the purpose of being human is being happy. I go after my little candle, Michael, and my morning pages. Almost every morning I go to a 12-step meeting. And I think, why am I doing this? It's on my Zoom and... It's because with those people and their stories, before I start my freaking adulting day,
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I get to hear life. I get to hear people who are struggling. I get to hear people who are real and in pain and in loss and in triumph. And it's like, I get to have the full human experience and that is what's most important to me. And then I can get on with the day. So can you talk to us about emo diversity, which is like, gotta be my favorite new word.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Not keeping them if they're not working is a beautiful ritual in itself. I just discovered last week That a beautiful ritual that I have with my family, which is putting up the Christmas tree, which to me symbolizes family togetherness and joy, turns out is a slice of hell for my children. Because all I do is yell at everyone for not separating the branches.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
They just admitted to me that they are all on a group chat. You're not yelling. Talking about... Let's be real. How for them, it's the opposite of... Which was an interesting moment for me. I was like, oh, that's so sad and also so happy because now I get to do it my damn self. And we'll think of something else that symbolizes family togetherness.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So the evolution and letting go of something that has meaning to you and does not mean the same to the rest of the family is a whole nother thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I told you so ritual. Yes, for sure. Yes. Michael, I love your work. I think it's so important. And PodSquad, if you could call in 747-200-5307. Yeah. Call that number. Tell us your rituals. We're going to make more. We're going to add more meaning to our beautiful lives. And we're going to just make sure that we're humaning while we're adulting.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yeah. Michael, thank you so much for this time. Thank you all. We're going to make sure everybody gets your book and it's beautiful work you're doing. Yeah. Thank you, PodSquad. Great to chat. See you next time. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us If you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Okay, so I know this is a complicated answer, but why do we need ritual? Or do we? Do human beings need ritual? And if so, why? What's the why of anything?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right-hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five-star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Obviously, when you think of rituals, you think of Michael Norton, who is a professor at Harvard Business School. He is the author of The Ritual Effect, From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions, and the co-author with Elizabeth Dunn of Happy Money, The Science of Happier Spending. Ooh, I haven't read that, Michael Norton.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Okay, so I've been trying to think about why ritual is important for me since I started listening to your work. And one of the reasons is that I think that ritual for me is the closest replacement that I have had to drugs and alcohol. Now, I know that sounds weird, but I'm an addict, so I can't. I've lost my privileges, okay?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
But I have always felt like the world we are living in, the day-to-day, the meetings, the situations, the adulting, all of it is so effing insufficient. OK, I don't know if boring is the right word, but it's just like I always have this feeling that I want to say, do you all know what's going on here? Like we're on a planet and we're all going to die and we're going to lose each other.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
And oh, my God, dogs and rainbows and death. And OK, so there's this feeling when you first start drinking or you first start doing drugs, this feeling of like exactly right. Like, drugs gets it. Yes, drugs gets it. Okay, Michael, first of all, is this sounding insane to you? You can stop me at any time. Sounds perfectly smart to me, actually.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yes, like this reminder or proof or unveiling of magic.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yeah. So like with drugs or hallucinogenic or whatever, every drug... intensified falsely and then I ended up in handcuffs, whatever. But for a moment, for one brief moment, we were gods, Michael. Like we saw the magic behind the ordinary. We loved each other more. Nature was as gorgeous as it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I need to read that one and already have you back for that. Okay, his research, most importantly... has been the answer to Final Jeopardy.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Spiritual, you know, the closest I would come to the feeling of it was when I was little in church and all the incense. Even the fire and brimstone and the stained glass. And I was like, oh shit, like I can feel the magic here. Ritual is how I remember magic.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So when I wake up in the morning, every morning I go to this little teeny table in my living room and I light a candle and I sit there and I do my little morning pages. And I have to smell the can. It's like everything is magic for a little bit. And it's like that moment where I'm like, there is more going on here. I am not just a robot adult who's going to do my to-do list and blah, blah, blah.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
There is more going on. Is this a thing?
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I mean... I want to be the final Jeopardy answer. That's legit. Now, wait a minute. I have a follow-up question. Did anyone get the answer right? They did.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yeah. And it's like, If you're using ritual, yes, to evoke a certain feeling or the way I would describe it is to remember a reality. That's how I feel about it is like, I want to remember that there's more going on here than just what I'm seeing in front of me in adulting land. Then rituals inside of relationships.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
Yeah, I will admit, Abby and I have been the answers on Jeopardy three times, which all of a sudden you feel, oh my God, I am so... Very fancy and important. But all three times, nobody's got the answer. Nobody gets the answer. So then that makes you feel suddenly like I am not at all fancy and relevant.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
So that would be the individual for me the morning, but rituals inside of relationship are how we stop and say, there is more going on here than what we're seeing. Like The cake is, I'm not just, this is magic. We love each other. And we are marking this time of like letting go of who we were and going towards who we are. Or I'm sitting with my partner.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
I mean, I've heard you tell the story about the couple that just clinks their forks before every single meal. Abby and I started doing it. Stole it. Oh, I love that.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Rituals that Make a Magical Life with Michael Norton
But it's like this little second of like, there's more going on here. We are not just people running this household together. There's another reality that let's remember it every once in a while, which is that we are these two souls who've come together to do this ridiculous thing called life. And isn't that insanely beautiful and weird? Clink.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. How are we all doing today?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Does it feel a little like a relief? Because the way that I think about it, it's like a parent going to a sports event or a soccer game and they've got to set up all the chairs just right. And they got to put the umbrella up and they got to have a little cooler of drinks and snacks and stuff. Rather than just getting to just sit on the grass and watch.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And it's not just watching. You get to experience seeing how they move through the world in their weird ways. And P.S. Some ways I would not move that way. No, I would not move that way. I would not move that way. But that's so cool.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Yeah. I just want to be clear.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Did you, what about green? I mean, listen, it's not easy getting you presents. And this was a big one because I had to like, There's no take backs. Yes. No take back.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Can't fuck with the art.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
But the list is invisible. And didn't share with them. Yeah, the list is invisible and in your head. True. True. That is because it would be a bridge too far.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
You want to know a little bit of a hack that you can either share with your spouse or yourself. Okay. And sister, I'm telling you this. A little bit of a hack prior to birthdays, gift giving moments, holidays, is have your person write out the things that they really loved about the prior year.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
I don't know. Glennon's still got some problems. All right. All right. All right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
So my mom every year asks us for a list of things that we are supposed to write down and then she puts it on an ornament. So I have 25, 30 of these little ornaments with all of the things that happened that year that were important to me. That's so awesome. And so Glennon does it and our kids do it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And I now have just hacked Glennon's gift giving where I consult her list and I look at the things on her list as to what is the most important thing that happened to her that year. And so I had already gotten the ring going and I hadn't thought maybe this is going to be it, but it was confirmed because she put C F T A.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Oh, I was like, I did not say fuck on Nana's list.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
No, you just wrote the letters.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Okay. What is that called? The initials. Initials.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Acronym. Yeah. I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
There's all of that. I do some of that. She usually does like two. Two real things. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And so that's when I was like, it was confirmation. And I emailed Thea and I was like, can't fuck with the art. Make it engraved. And you can't take it back. And I also learned this. Glennon just likes jewelry. I do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
So I get a plethora of things. I get a few things that she can take back. One thing she cannot, the main present. And then I get a few things that are kind of joint presents that we will both use. That's how I cover my basis. But evidently she's worked on herself so that like gift giving is no longer an issue. But it's been.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Good job. Good job, honey. Thank you, babe.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
This is a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax. Taxes was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms and then waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back. Now, taxes is easily uploading your forms to a TurboTax expert who's matched to your unique tax situation.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
an expert who's backed by the latest technology with cross-checking millions of data points for 100% accuracy. While they work on your taxes, you get real-time updates on their progress, and you get the most money back guaranteed, all while you go about your day. No stressing, no worrying, no waiting. Now this is taxes. Intuit TurboTax. Get an expert now on TurboTax.com.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Only available with TurboTax Live full service. Real-time updates only in iOS mobile app. See guarantee details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees. I want to talk a little bit about the story you told about Bobby. I don't know about you guys, but for me, you could be a terrible student.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And if you have that heart and mind where you're paying attention and then also deducing and figuring out, wait, today's New Year's Eve. I mean, he's 12. That is so incredible to me that like. Obviously, people would think that sports are really important. Be a terrible athlete, but be that. That's something I want to like see.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And I just think that, God, that's so cool that you were able to create a space for To do the DoorDash thing. Cause like, I also think it's important for kids to like see that stuff. So often the food just shows up on the table. They don't understand.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Like, good job, man. I'm going to text him later. Not about this. Just like, I think you're cool.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Let's do like one day a month.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Yeah. And you're stuck in the car and you run out of things to think about. Oftentimes in your own city, you're thinking about your own stuff or whatever. The phone gets tiring or whatever. And so you actually just start talking to each other. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Go on a road trip. I want to go on a road trip.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
That actually got me excited about a road trip. Take it easy. We love you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
When you hear a good idea, it's natural to do a double take. That's what you might do when you hear Discover will automatically double the cash back you've earned on your credit card at the end of your first year with cash back match. Wait, what? Yep. Double the cash back is something so good you might do a triple take. It pays to Discover. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Welcome.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Yeah, but I just want to be clear. We have kids that have ranged, they're five years apart. And I think it's important to note that where each of them are in their lives is in vastly different areas. Like when you're 16 versus 18 versus 21, those are very different stages of life that require very different. And we're in the middle of all of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
So the youngest and the oldest, they're six years apart, five years apart. And the youngest, she's getting pretty baked, but we still have to be there with her because she's baking herself. They're baking themselves, you know?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
But it's hard to figure out the balance of when to do the shift because you do have to loosen your... And I actually just think that the net metaphor, I love it. But I think the net is this fake belief that we need in order to be a parent.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
Yes, we are. We're just like a section of the net. We're like a few of the strings woven in their net. They are weaving it with their friends, with their sisters and brothers, with with their other parents, with their other extended family. With their God, if they have one. But I do think that this is a thing that mothers feel. It's this idea.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon: You Can’t F With Art & Other Parenting Lessons
And I don't know if this is a need for worthiness or this is my life's work idea, but I do think that the net, we need to consider what is the net. Is there in fact a net that you have been holding up underneath these children forever? I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
A little treat from me to you. Yeah. And also just for those listening, like you guys don't understand how much joy this is bringing Glennon. Every morning I walk upstairs to get my coffee and she's like, I did it. I wrote a thing. I did it. And she's doing it every single morning. And it's so fun for her and the joy that it is making and bringing to our family. It's been a full on real treat.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
This is why it was so difficult for me in a professional sport. I played soccer for a long, long time. And I think that this is why it was so difficult for me to understand happiness for myself in it. Because all of us in this weird way had these arbitrary goals that would deem us successful.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
And I never was able to like look outside of the box and figure out actually what I was in it for myself for. Because we collectively kind of buy into this idea that winning is the thing. And so the older I got, the more mature I got. And I think maybe the happier I got in some ways because I was like, oh, this is more than just winning.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
But I had to actually do that personal work to figure it out for myself rather than just like take on the group think idea of what I thought was going to be the thing that made me the happiest. Totally.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
Yeah. All right, you guys go to glennandoyle.com. You're going to see a signup box in the top middle of the page where you can submit your email address. And if you're on Instagram, go to the page, click the link in the bio, sign up for the newsletter. It's the second button. You can do it. We love you. It's going to be a treat.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
That's good.
We Can Do Hard Things
One Change to Go From Being Time Poor to Time Rich with Cassie Holmes
It's a non-newsletter. No newsletter. Bye.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
So many things in our lives change, but not our love for Viore clothing. I love this ad. We're so glad that they continue to support the show. It's true. Abby is obsessed with Viore. I am a little bit too. Do you think you have a favorite item? They're t-shirts. They never get less soft.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
They're just perfect for everything, for going to dinner, for actively going for a walk, for working out, whatever you want to do. They're the best.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market or bear market, rising or falling rates, inflation up or down. Can someone please invent a crystal ball for me? Until then, over 41,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud ERP.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
With this unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real-time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash hard things. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash hard things. netsuite.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Brittany, first of all, and Rebecca, thank you for being here. It just matters so much to me and our pod squad. And one of the things, and I don't mean to dumb this experience that I'm going to talk about right now down in any way and compare it to what we're going through, but I think it's relevant. I think a lot of people, the ones that we talked to this last weekend at Brandy's Festival.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
And so I've been thinking about yesterday too, like how am I interacting with what happened and the reality of what happened emotionally and mentally? I'm not thinking about action right now. That's not where I'm at. And it made me think a lot about the way that when I would lose a big tournament playing soccer, and how I responded in the moment that the tournament was over and we've just lost.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
And I had to look at the winners. And by looking at the winners, by not turning away, by not crumbling, by having some sense of humility inside of me and watching them celebrate the thing that I wanted, allowed me to accept what has happened. I think that a lot of us are in this in-between.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
We've been in this purgatory since election day to now in this kind of quasi-acceptance of what's happened, like the question of what is going to happen. And so before the actions can begin, I think that we have to genuinely accept not only what has happened, but that this is where our country is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Guess what happens? When you accept what happens, something in you changes. when you are in resistance of what has happened, then you are just like, bitching and complaining about what's happened rather than accepting what's happened. And then you can move into real, authentic, true leadership in the actions. Yeah, that's the stone.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
I wear Viore tops all day, every day.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
And P.S., we're recording this the day after the inauguration. Right. This is going up on Thursday. Right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Finding a great mentor who can really help me level up, it's not easy. But my dream mentor, Jodi Foster. She's our friend. So when I heard that she had a class on Masterclass, I was so excited to learn from her. Masterclass is the ultimate way to learn from the best to become your best. It's the only platform where you can access over 200 world-renowned instructors.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
For just $10 a month, an annual membership gives you unlimited access to every instructor. One session that truly has made an impact on me was James Clear's class on building new habits. His actionable tips helped me create a daily routine that really does actually work. With 88% of masterclass members reporting a positive impact, it's clear why classes are so effective.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Plus, every new membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash hard things. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash hard things. Masterclass.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
It's everything. I mean, I love them, but it's not easy to find clothes that look sleek and feel comfortable. I mean, I can use them everywhere and anywhere I go. Viore is an investment in your happiness. I promise you. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase, plus free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
That's good. Wow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Post-Inauguration Family Meeting: How We Will Get Through with Brittney Cooper & Rebecca Traister
Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing online. On the planet at Viori.com slash hard things. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash hard things. You won't be sorry.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
Hi. Can I tell a brief little quick story about Justina and I's first real meeting?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
Do you remember this, Justina?
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
So we were doing this exercise of, I don't know, it was like an opening up. There's many women there. This is the first time we've met all of each other. And we had to... Go to a stranger and stare into said stranger's eyes and thank God Justina was my partner for this.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
That's right. That's so good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
And you and I, we have a closeness now because of this eye-staring contest that we got into. And I just want to say it was super awkward and weird. And then now knowing you, it's like, oh, my God, that's hilarious. So I just want to say that because I think that it's perfect. Justina.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
I am a former Olympian, although you're allowed to say Olympian forever. I've done all the things physically that a person could do in the soccer world. And never, not one day in my life have I ever wanted to go work out. Never, not once. And so I say this to you as hopefully like some relief.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
And I don't even know if we're talking about working out, but the eating well and like, you know, the working out, like all that. To me, it's maintenance energy.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
And I have no answer for you, but like just to know that like you have somebody also that struggles with maintenance energy and that person was an extraordinary athlete. And that's the mindset that I had my whole athletic career. So no fix here, but just straight up with you, with you hardcore on this.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
This is so interesting to me thinking about the self-respect piece because I've never attached it to self-love. I've never thought of whether or not I have self-respect for myself. And I think that, at least for me, I could be really tough on myself. I have kind of a very critical voice. I think probably a lot of us do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
And thinking about this self-respect piece, it's like, oh, if I think through that lens of needing to have respect for myself, automatically that voice softens a little. It's a lot less critical. It's going to hold me accountable, but it's not meanie voice. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. And so how did you come to this idea? Because I've never thought of this.
We Can Do Hard Things
Find Your “Tingle” & Live Wild with Justina Blakeney
And what does your inner voice sound like? Oh, yeah, I like that question.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market or bear market? Rising or falling rates? Inflation up or down? Can someone please invent a crystal ball? Until that happens, over 40,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite, the number one cloud ERP.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
And, you know, let's remember 20 years ago, we weren't saying the word trauma. Right. You know, we weren't talking about any of this.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
With this unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real-time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
Running a small business isn't easy. And when it comes to hiring people, it can often feel like a full-time job in and of itself. As a business owner, I know firsthand how crucial it is to find not just the right skills, but the right fit for your team's culture. That's why for me, the go-to resource has always been LinkedIn Jobs. LinkedIn isn't just another job board.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
It connects you with professionals you won't find anywhere else, sometimes even those who aren't actively looking but would be open to the right opportunity. In fact, 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other major job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn, you're missing out on the best candidates. What I love about LinkedIn Jobs is how fast it works.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash hard things. That's linkedin.com slash hard things to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
Yeah. Let's not forget during that time, the doctors were just giving shit out left and right. And so many of us got addicted to prescription pills because of that.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com slash hard things. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash hard things. netsuite.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
It must have been so confusing. I recently lost my brother and... I'm sorry. Thank you. And I remember feeling like in the church at his funeral... I remember feeling like these people have no idea how I feel. Yeah. And also over time, I have to recognize that they also had a relationship with my brother. Yeah. though it was vastly different and much different than mine, it still mattered.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Presley Family Legacy with Riley Keough
So I could understand probably your mom's confusion at how to properly grieve because you have like the most famous person in the world. And then this person just happened to be her father. Like those are very confusing messages, not only to me, a human being, but a nine-year-old trying to figure out how to like work this through.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Well, and it makes me think the story of your son makes me wonder if you're the parent who says, no, you've already had your slice of cake. That child psychologically leaves the table and all they're thinking about is wanting another piece of cake.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Plus, every new membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash hard things. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash hard things. Masterclass.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
As a small business owner, my business is always on my mind and hiring the right people is key to keeping things running smoothly. That's why I trust LinkedIn Jobs. It's the hiring partner that actually works as hard as I do. LinkedIn makes posting jobs so simple. I've used their new feature to quickly create job descriptions and get my openings in front of the right people.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
It's an all-in-one solution, posting for free, sharing with my network, and getting qualified candidates all in one place. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn, you can feel confident that you're getting the best. Based on LinkedIn data,
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
72% of small businesses using LinkedIn say that they help them find high quality candidates. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash hard things. That's linkedin.com slash hard things to post your job for free. terms and conditions apply.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And do you think I just read this thing today that said that if you eat at the same times around the same times every day, is that would you instruct people to do that? Or is it just like eat when your body's hungry?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
That's even a better description, an inner compass. Yeah. I like that.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I mean, it makes a lot of sense to me and coming from my background, um, Food was fuel. And I think that I have always had an overeating problem since retiring because that's what I became accustomed to. And I actually remember early on in my sobriety, I spoke with this one woman. She said, what are you using to supplement alcohol? And I said, I drink so much coffee.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And she said, what I want you to remember and what I want you to do is drink as much coffee as you possibly can drink as long as you don't drink any alcohol. And I said, what do you mean? She said, if it's nine cups a day, drink it. eventually your body will stop needing the caffeine, will stop thinking.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And I think so much of what you're talking about with this intuitive eating is of the same mindset, right? Like give your body the fuel, especially if you have been limiting the food. So I don't know. I think that everything what you're saying is like so important for me to hear, especially because as an athlete, because I'm still an athlete, I just work out much less than I used to. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Thinking about food as nourishment instead of fuel, because it was like I sat down at a meal and I'm like, did I earn these calories? Did I work hard enough to earn the food? Like to me, I had to previously work hard to earn the food. Oh, wow. Wow. And that was hard for me to unravel in my retirement.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I actually had to do an entire year, like almost a self-experiment on reteaching myself what suffering meant because to me, I attached the amount that I was able to suffer to my self-esteem. Oh my goodness. If I was able to suffer deeply, you will get this as a marathoner, then that brought me an incredible amount of self-esteem.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And it's this illusion of power that I thought that I was stronger, better, faster than everybody. And so I did an experiment that I spent an entire year of not doing anything to suffer. And to see what would happen with my self-esteem. And the irony is that I actually started to trend to do things more that I enjoyed doing. Ah, beautiful. So I got into surfing. I would go on. Yes. And P.S.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I'm on the Facebook girls who can't surf page. Oh, I love that group because it's so much fun. There's no performance involved. Exactly. So I found these little niches of things that I was getting into. And I think the same can be said for food because I do think that there's a self-esteem quotient involved. Was I a good girl during this meal? Did I follow all of my perceived rules prior?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Do you have any idea what you're getting yourself into today is what I want to know. I have a sense.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I have a follow up question. I think because I'll speak for myself here. I think that I am probably more addicted to sugar than maybe anything that I've ever been addicted to. And so my question is in terms of this idea of this philosophy of intuitive eating, what do I believe in my urges? Because I do have that urge after dinner every night to finish it up with something sweet.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And I know that we're not trying to I just am curious that like this idea of intuitive eating, listening to your body. But I have this real what I think is probably a real sugar thing. thing that's happening inside of me? How do I differentiate healthy versus addiction?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Addiction, because we're addicts. This is problematic.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
What do you think about that? That's probably where I live is that I'm afraid that I'm one step away from just like going into the freezer and emptying out every, like, I do think that I have a trust issue with myself with my hunger, because I have a voracious appetite. I think that I could have, I could be helped in this way.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I mean, I am. For a lot of reasons. I grew up in a family that was more overweight. I grew up in an environment where your body was the mechanism to income to your safety and security in the world. And I also grew up in a bigger body. as a woman.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
So I have all of these things that have kind of played a role in this, especially in my retirement where I'm, you know, I start eating at noon because I intermittent fast because I don't, I don't think it's that healthy. Um,
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Yes, for sure. It is normal. I think the way I'm engaging in my not that I'm on a diet, but in the way that I eat has a control function in it that I pass off as, well, I just want to live longer and I don't want to carry excess weight. I am also looking at the fact that I have, you know, heart disease in my family and my
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
you know, keeping my cholesterol at bay, like all of these things, scientifically speaking, are also in my consciousness around it. But I do want to feel like I can trust myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
No. Because of her.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Yeah. And it sounds so easy. So easy. It's not.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
I literally am seeing in the reflection of the window behind you. I see the, look at the wave. I'll duck. I'll duck. Can you see it? Oh, are you riding the wave right out front or do you go to a different break?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
See you next time. Pod squad.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Finding a great mentor who can really help me level up, it's not easy. But my dream mentor, Jodi Foster. She's our friend. So when I heard that she had a class on Masterclass, I was so excited to learn from her. Masterclass is the ultimate way to learn from the best to become your best. It's the only platform where you can access over 200 world renowned instructors for just $10 a month.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Just listening to both of you just now, is the opposite of fear trust in this conversation? Because what you're talking about with primal anger and primal hunger and primal exhaustion and
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Is the root of it really coming not only back into your body, but trusting yourself to make decisions, trusting that your body is going to send the messages, trusting that you will hear the messages, and then also trusting that the anger won't last forever? that the hunger won't last forever, that there are things that we can do.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
And I think the basic is to really trust your body and yourself because the world is telling us women in every way possible that we are not to be trusted. And it's like the most primal coming home.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
Oh, I love that language.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Is Intuitive Eating? Evelyn Tribole on Trusting Your Body
An annual membership gives you unlimited access to every instructor. One session that truly has made an impact on me was James Clear's class on building new habits. His actionable tips helped me create a daily routine that really does actually work. With 88% of masterclass members reporting a positive impact, it's clear why classes are so effective.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
I'm actually trying to increase my awe by actually verbally saying, ah, out loud. Like if I see a sunset and then it's very strange what's happening in my body because I am actually feeling different sensations when I verbally go, ah, wow.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Yeah. I actually just happened to me now. I just said, wow. And it made my body tingle. It's like smiling and then you feel happy.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Yeah, I love love. Don't get me wrong. But my threshold is very high. I need it to be something that is very, very intense and beautiful for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Yeah, but I went to Sedona after one of my heartbreaks. And there was just something about Sedona. I was supposed to be there for two days. I ended up being there for seven because I couldn't leave. It was like the first time my body felt like it was not hurting. There was something about the soil and the vortexes. There's just like something super cool about Sedona.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
What did I say? I don't remember.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Beautiful. Isn't that interesting? And it's also just there. It's an opportunity to see something that is living, that is surviving just by being. And when you're overcome with so much heartbreak, it just feels like impossible to breathe and survive and to believe that you can go on. And so when you look at a tree or you look at a huge mountain, you're like, They can do it. It's going on.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
This is really fascinating to me because my brother died last December. And that was one of the biggest things that I was really obsessed with for a long time with my therapist is I needed to know what happened. I needed to know how this could happen to a 52-year-old person.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Not only because he's related to me and that also applies to me genetically speaking, but there's like this justice component. to the needing to know, like I needed to figure out like good things. If you're a good person, good things happen to you. Right. And it was just like, it completely erased all of these like constructs that I had been handed throughout my life.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
And this is exactly the thing that my therapist was trying to walk me through is like, you're never going to know. And there has to be some sort of acceptance at some point because we will never know why somebody really died. And this is exactly right. This is wonderful.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Yeah. And, you know, before we end, I just think heartbreak when you when you are devastated by heartbreak for whatever reason, it feels so lonely because you think that nobody can understand what you're experiencing and feeling. Mm hmm.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Literally, I've thought my heartbreak is just bigger than everybody else's. Yeah. It just is. It's it's just different, you know, but it's not it just isn't. And to be away from it, we can understand. I don't know. I just love your work so much. I'm sorry that this happened to you. And also, I'm not because look at what it was.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Thank you so much. Love you.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Love you, Potsprout. See you next time.
We Can Do Hard Things
The Science of Healing Heartbreak with Florence Williams
Your body sends inflammation to protect it from being alone. That is something.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
I think it's important for the folks that are listening. One of the things that not only shocked me because, you know, you and Andrea are like rock stars in the poetry community and you're beacons of the queer community. Like we look to you. And what I found so fascinating about this film is was that there was so much around this cancer diagnosis, around this story.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
It was just like a beautiful example, an elegant and classy example of like how when given difficult news and over and over again throughout this film at times, how love was the center of you all.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
And yeah, fear can creep in at times, but I just felt so incredibly awed by how normal you two felt and how aspirational, like you're abnormal in the aspiration of dealing with something like this cancer diagnosis and letting folks into your home, but how real and true you showed up on screen that even if you are a frat bro, you will find yourself in Andrea. Because this is like, I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
I don't know how else to say it, but it was, to me, it was just like this beautiful documentary of us all watching ourselves in certain ways and in moments. And I know you guys are not us and you're different than everybody, but I just felt like it was so universal and so gorgeous. And I'm so grateful that you said yes. I have retroactive fear that like, what if this never happened, you know?
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
Because it's so good and it needs to get out into the world.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
Yeah. But that's why this film is so fucking incredible.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
queer poets lives in there every day wow okay Glennon you have to tell the kind of the the origin story of like how this kind of happened like What, from your perspective, because I think I want to give the listener like a kind of a timeline of like when this and I know you're not great with numbers, so I'll help.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
This is two years ago, this part of the story.
We Can Do Hard Things
Let Our Sundance-Winning Film Remind You What Love Is with Megan Falley
And I... During our breakfasts while we're at like a romantic getaway, Glennon's nose is just in a book.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
I agree completely with just the massive paradigm shift that that creates. When you even say Mother Earth, when you even say her, because it reminds me of the podcast we did with Jen Hatmaker when she was talking about how she learned from Hilary McBride to instead of say it about her body, she started referring to her body as she. And just that shift changed.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
she talks about how that the empathy and the gentleness that she thought about her body with even just personalizing as she, as opposed to it. And the way that you talk about the earth and personify her, that gentleness and empathy is there. It's not, it's not a commodity. It is living.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
aspirational and wonderful, but it's really hard to find an inroad there. If the whole world is a relentless effort to separate us from our humanity, then it's almost like our whole life needs to be a relentless fight for the wholeness. Yes. So can we start at the very beginning, before we need to remember, before we got dismembered, can you talk to us about your life before you were nine?
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
And it's wild that it's a leap to think of the earth as a living, breathing thing when it literally is, but that's beside the point. Another part of your work when you talk about the earth in terms of the climate emergency, you say you think of the earth as a mother screaming that she's done.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
We are telling her again and again that she is beautiful and resilient while we pillage and take from her, while we push her back down and tell her to keep getting up. And it reminds me so much of how mothers across this nation and the world are overwhelmed and overburdened and overtaxed. And as a culture, we give them this kind of empty praise. You're a superhero. Here's your greeting card.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
You're not even a human. Instead of doing the thing that will actually reduce their overwhelm and reduce their burden by... treating them better. We just call them a hero. And it just makes me think of that connection between the earth and mothers. And what is the lesson that we need to learn about kinship with mothers and with mother earth to start to have that respect to treat them better?
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
that small thing that you're talking about is monumental of just seeing your plants, seeing the earth, seeing the water, seeing the trees as a she or a them, just that simple shift in your brain changes the way you experience everything. And I would love to talk to you about when you're talking about this connection to the land, opening up connections in yourself, you have,
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
this revelation while you are walking in a hike with your family and your one and a half year old son in Georgia.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
The only time I check in is like, you must be real busy because I haven't gotten all the things I asked for.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
oh love, you are so thirsty. I wonder if we even know we're thirsty. We don't even know we're thirsty because we think we're machines, but we are so thirsty.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
I have to ask one more question. And it is about the ancestral realm. Oh, yes. When you talk about... trauma and coming home to ourselves and wholeness, it strikes me that a lot in white culture, we have this individualist myth really of, okay, this is what's wrong in my life. And it is because the generations before me. And there is some truth in that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
But you see memes going around that are like, I'm going to hand my parents the therapist bill with a note that says, you broke it, you buy it. This idea, it's kind of like a funny thing we're doing. And you have such a different view of that that I think is so powerful. You say that to practice decolonization, we name the ways in which our ancestors did what they could but didn't do enough. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
In the ways that they still had so much to accomplish but didn't have the space or resources or time to do it all. And the way that they rely on us to change the things they couldn't or didn't change. Wow. And this... view is so beautiful because it's not, you failed to do it. So I have to, it's you did what you could. And it is the honor to take where you left off and build.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
And in doing that, I'm healing you and I'm healing my kids. I really want that to settle into my body as a way of being on this honored path of these generations that are doing the best they can. Can you say more about that?
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
It's so fascinating that the medicine becomes the disease. If you are disconnected, you've lost the connection to your dad, you've lost the connection to your native culture and you're yearning for that. You need it. So you're reaching out and here comes the evangelical church that's like, we'll give you every connection you want.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
But then it's further disconnecting you in many ways, eclipsing all of those parts of your identity.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
Yeah. Everyone rain blessings upon yourself if you don't know what purity culture is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
Caitlin, to me, the perversion, no pun intended in the purity conversation, but like the perversion of such a beautiful connection with God, with spirit. And so many of us can relate to the fact of, you know, being taught to be ashamed of our bodies, be ashamed of what our bodies want. We'll of course, inevitably distance ourselves from our bodies.
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
I learned so much from your story about assimilation as a violence that disconnects us from ourselves and that compels us to erase who we are. And then... The process of deconstruction that you walk us through, that seems to me to be kind of the digging through the rubble to unearth and remember who we are. And you offer so many concrete tools because all of that seems so...
We Can Do Hard Things
Ways to Be More Present: Indigenous Wisdom from Kaitlin Curtice (Best Of)
If we think our bodies and our desires are evil, we have to distance ourselves from ourselves. And then that becomes disembodiment. But for you as a native woman, the whole additional giant layer of God being used as a basis for the theft of your ancestors' land and bodies. And that is actually God's will. Talk to us about the doctrine of discovery.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Hello, everybody. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. We are here with Trisha Hersey. Trisha Hersey is a Chicago native who has called Georgia home for the last 12 years. She has over 20 years of experience as a multidisciplinary artist, writer, theologian, and community organizer.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Okay. So I'm going to do it because I just feel it. So you started the nap ministry. Yes. Trisha. But in diving deeply into your work over the last few weeks, what I said to sister yesterday is I feel like calling... Trisha's work that not ministry would be like calling Jesus's work, a walking ministry. It's so deep and so important.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
So my sister said, just please don't say the thing about Jesus and walking. So I said the thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
What I hear you in your work, in your book, it's not just... change what rest is, but change why rest is. Because we are just taught, just rest. Here's your eye mask that's $30 and here's your candle. And that's also part of grind culture is buying this shit. And then so that you can rest, so that you can come back and be more productive. And grind more. That's it. And grind more.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
So you can help us build better. So you can help us build stronger white supremacy.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Like capitalism. Preach. Trisha is saying, no, no, that is not why we are resting. We're not resting so we can come back and build their shit better. No. We're resting so we can imagine what we want to build instead.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
I think we just found that in the auto response.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Mm-hmm. So for our listeners, you've said grind culture is a collaboration between capitalism and white supremacy.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Trisha says that. Can I ask one thing before we move on from this part? Because I just, I think some of the fear, and I'm going to say this wrong, but I'm going to say it. Please. It's like whatever your, your ministry and what is the opposite of white feminism.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
It's like. Yes, it is. We have been indoctrinated. Yes. It's worse than had we never heard of feminism. Yes. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
It's like, because we were taught that feminism is to try to be the best at this horrific system. It's like, just lean in harder. Just be worse. Just be scrappier. Just beat more people. Yes. So that's why it's so terrifying at first because it's the opposite of what we were told was winning.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Yes. Terrible. And they're on the news saying, we hate you. We're passing bills.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
What you keep saying, which is what no one is willing to do, is this phrase of let the chips fall where they may. Oh, God. But we, trained in perfectionism and grind, believe that the worst thing in the earth is if anyone else sees us as not a perfect cog, right? That's it.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Can you talk to us about what it has meant to you in your life to let the chips fall where they may, professionally, family-wise? This is the thing we're terrified. I can't stop. Or what's the or and how do we survive the or?
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
You have five minutes.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Here's your bullets. Here's your bullets about how to Where's my workshop? From 12 to 12.15, I will rest.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
She is the founder of the Knapp Ministry, an organization that examines rest as a form of resistance and reparations by curating spaces for the community to rest in via community rest activations, immersive workshops, performance art installations, and social media. Her research interests include Black liberation theology, womanism, somatics, and cultural trauma.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
And that's wellness.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
It's not, you remind me of, I keep thinking of the scripture, the kingdom is not out there, it's inside of you.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
And we are rushing out to whatever capitalism tells us where we will find our liberation. Like the system's out there. It's out there. And you're saying all it is, it's always been in here.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
The body is where you're liberated.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
I think the only challenge, the only challenge I see with your work, really, besides dismantling everything. Besides, yeah, trying to burn down capitalism.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
That's right. No problem. Is that it's so completely grounded in faith Yes. And enough.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
And we have enough. And to hear someone like you say, yeah, I turn down things all the time. But aren't you scared of being irrelevant?
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
We noticed. I don't say the word.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
You're like, you're, You're doing for him what your dad did for you. That doesn't matter. What matters is that you are divine and you are born and you exist.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Yes. Not necessarily right now. Take your time. And we're changing the name of our podcast to We Can Do Soft Things. Or we don't have to do anything we don't want to do. No, Trisha, I'm fully expecting as soon as this is over to try it. We have a meeting, but I'm expecting none of my staff to show up.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Give them some grace. You are a revolution. For the rest of you, I'm just going to repeat, please. The upcoming book is called Rest is Resistance. Our copies, Trish, I'll just send you some pictures. Highlight it. Underline. I'm sure that's not how we're supposed to be reading it.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Okay. Rest is Resistance, a manifesto. And you can learn more about Trish's work and the book at The Nap ministry.com. Get ready. Everybody go visit Tricia. Tricia. Thank you so much for goodness.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
That's why everyone's going to be quitting and then my team's not going to be there. Yeah. This is my resignation. Everyone ask themselves that question except for Sister Dina and Allison. Thank you, Trisha. We love you. We believe in you. Go forth and rest. Thank you so much, guys.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
We will see you next time, PodSquad. Until then, rest. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five-star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
She is the author of Rest is Resistance, a manifesto. You can learn more about Trisha's extremely important and brilliant work. and her book at thenapministry.com.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
And Trisha, you focus so much on explaining to us in the book that the exhaustion and the inability to imagine is purposeful. Absolutely. Any stopping and thinking... And asking questions and allowing your imagination is dangerous.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Tell us more about that. It is purposeful that we are so exhausted and don't have time to think.
We Can Do Hard Things
No More Grind: How to Finally Rest with Tricia Hersey (Best Of)
Yeah. When you think about just the idea of get back to work, what that is, is that still building somebody else's imagination of what the world should be as opposed to stopping and imagining for ourselves. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I'd totally float if you threw me in the river. That blew my mind because I heard you say ultimately what I'm in the business of is to demand people be more aware of how and why they think, not what they think, because that's the reality of autism. You have autism. You have to think about how you think. That's what you do. And neurotypicals don't do that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
They just assume the way they think is right. I live with people who have some... Sprinkling? Sprinkling. It's a veritable cornucopia over here. It's carnival. Yes. And that thinking, you know, turning that lens on myself and thinking, no, this is how you're thinking about it. And that is why you're out of sync. Not necessarily there's something wrong or broken about the way they're thinking.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
So that means they're looking for the same markers. That means when they're ultimately diagnosed, they're getting the same therapies when in fact the girl brain with autism looks different than the boy brain with autism. It results in a lot of real damage. 42% of girls are diagnosed with another mental disorder instead of autism when they go to get checked.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
And how do you think that people who want to balance that hierarchy as it's set up right now, who want to connect with people of who they love, who are neurodivergent. How do we begin to understand about how we think that is building those barriers
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
And boys are diagnosed two years earlier. So there's a lot of girls struggling out there with depression and anxiety. And like Hannah not being diagnosed until they're 30 and in her words, not haven't participated in life up to that point because they've been so sidelined by it. This conversation can help a lot of us to understand ourselves and give us insight into people we love.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
It's great. It's a good life. Love it. How you just shared is so, is such a gift. I mean, that's so important to understand that the work that you put in to showing up in a space, I just feel like that's a, that's a gift for people to understand that. And thank you for doing that for this.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
Hannah, can you talk to us?
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
And importantly, it can help us reframe neurological diversity as differences, not as deficiencies. What Hannah shared about the exhaustive preparations she has to do to navigate everyday things, including this conversation today, was so important. It reminded me of something I read that explained how we all have a social brain, a network made up of multiple regions
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
throughout the brain that help us navigate social interactions. And there's a new line of unpublished research suggesting that in girls and women with autism, they keep their social brain engaged, but every bit of social interaction may be mediated through the prefrontal cortex.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
And it's similar to even our model of heart attacks, how women present very differently than men. And so women are dying of heart attacks because their symptoms don't match. Girls typically have often a different presentation than boys. It made sense when you said the exfoliation of shame because girls are kind of in this lost period of masking and not being identified.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
Then they're going through adolescence. Then they're being diagnosed with depression and anxiety as the primary reason for their struggles. And oh, that's so hormonal. And then they spend their whole lives thinking their lives aren't working out because of their depression and anxiety and not they're depressed and anxious because they've never been identified and understood for who they are.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
Which means that whereas many of us are able to deal with social interactions instinctively, for girls and women with autism, processing every social interaction can be the equivalent of doing high-grade math.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
So when she talks about being exhausted, having to prepare, how depleting it is, it's because every social cue is essentially an equation of long division, which is the labor neurodivergent folks do in masking to be in relationship and community.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I just am really thankful that she goes into that detail for us because I think it's really important as empathy for people, understanding the people that we love, that that's the work they're doing every day, the work that we take for granted, just getting a feeling. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
That's a false representation of the Abby sneeze. Right. It's an Olympic gold medal sneeze. I'm just being polite here.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I have another thing that I had a moment when she was speaking and when she was talking about how her mom said, I'm so sorry that I raised you straight. And I think that that's something that we can think about and be like, oh, that's right. But then she talks about how when she was growing up, right. You know, she'd be playing by herself. She'd say, I don't want to go to that birthday party.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I don't want to. And, and, and, As a parent, but you're sad. You're sad if you don't go to the birthday party. And she's like, I'm not sad. And I think sometimes I, although I would never raise my kid with the assumption that they're straight and look at them that way, I think that I can very easily raise my kids with the assumption that they're neurotypical. So if I see...
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
a group of kids playing and my daughter playing separately on her own, I feel intense pain and I project on her loneliness and sadness and separateness. But that's raising her like a straight kid. That's raising her like a neurotypical kid. I just really got that from today's podcast. I want to let my kid be exactly who they are without projecting what the world will see them as.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I just want to see them through their own eyes and their own experiences.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I'm so thankful that she came on and shared so honestly and quite a lot about she has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. And I think it's so important to hear from women about that. Her story is fascinating. She went through really hard times. She was unhoused. She was in terrible situations a lot of her life and was only diagnosed when she was 30, basically.
We Can Do Hard Things
Hannah Gadsby: How to Communicate Better (Best Of)
I think it was a year before Nanette came out. And a lot about her story has to do with living... without this knowledge of herself, but just living in kind of an ill-fitting world. And it is a place where a lot of girls are, and it's just so important that people learn about this and the way that girls do not exhibit the same science of autism that boys do. We live by a male model of autism.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
I don't. You don't. That's so cool to say Reese, because that's a, that's a very non codependent thing to say. That's like a, it's not my problem sort of thing. That's so good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Yeah. We had a friend that they said, you know, if we are literally driving to your house for dinner and you need to call and cancel, We won't ask questions. We'll turn our car around and go home. So that's the kind of friendship that, and I was like, well, this is wonderful. I was like, don't say that to us. You're just giving Glennon cancellation out every time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Does it mean that like, I just wonder if the barometer for friendship and like the requirement for friendship for men might be just slightly lower, lower. Actually, we're just going to like get together and watch a sports game or whatever. Yeah. Interesting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Very. She's got to be very tired.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Not to belittle men here who are, who are listening, but I actually think we're looking for something that's like a magic match, more, more meaningful and more deep. I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
And like in your 20s, you're like, whatever. I don't have any boundaries. In your 30s, you're like, oh, I'm learning what boundaries are. And then like in your 40s, you start, I think, actually establishing, especially with friendship, because we don't have any time. You know, like you've got kids, you've got your jobs. When I want to get with my friends, that is a slice of like special time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
I want to switch gears. I think that you and I, and Glennon too, but I think that in the sports world and in Hollywood, there's the old boys club. And you've experienced it and you've somehow not only survived it, but you've been able to thrive. How did you experience the old boys club, first of all, in Hollywood? Yeah, what's it like?
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
I know. And it's like, not that you've just done things, you've done incredible things. Like all of the things that we just talked about are like our favorite movies and our favorite experiences that we share with each other. It's just incredible to us.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
And what you just said, Reese, at the beginning of this answer for me, actually changed my life. And I have to like, just point it out is I've carried a lot of shame with me in terms of my alignment at times with the good old boys club, because that was part of survival in the late nineties, early two thousands. And I've carried some shame with me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
And you said it was your dream and you would do anything to follow your dream and achieve your dream. And that is what I was doing. And I've been holding myself down. With this kind of shame around me feeling like, oh, I was misaligned. So I just want to thank you for that. That was really healing for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Yeah. Thanks, Hollywood. Bye.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
You're also a business mogul. Like you're just like such a bad-ass and you are a leader and In not just Hollywood, but the business world. It's amazing. Well, thank you, honey.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Their keys to their home.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Right. When I was transitioning from soccer to this life, a friend said, think of it like going and watching a trapeze person. They're swinging from rung to rung and where you are right now, is you're kind of just holding on to each rung because I was really struggling to let go of my past and I was really scared to step into a future, an unknown. She said, you're just holding on to each rung.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
She said, but why do people go and watch trapeze artists do their thing? She said, it's to see what happens in the middle because that's where the magic is. And I was like, oh shit. So I let go of both rungs and I was like, okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
You're too much. Too much for people to deal with. Well, I have been, I think that I'm the right amount.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
I feel like, I feel like, I've come into a sense of maturity. When I was playing soccer, I was too much. Okay. But now that I stopped interrupting people so much, I'm feeling like I'm better.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
I don't have post-mortem remorse about conversations. What? It's all I have. It's all I do. We actually talk about this a lot.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Yeah. But I think that part of this has to do with I have gotten male privilege because of the way I present through my life and because of sports. So I have a sense of male privilege that maybe you both, because of the way you present and the way that you've been received in the world, it just might be slightly different. So that's interesting. Yeah, I think that that's kind of interesting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
That's amazing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Oh, get out of here with her. She's a family fave for sure.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Thank you for paving a certain path that will last for hundreds, hundreds of years forever. You're, you're making women's life, not just in Hollywood, but women's life in production and, in business, in private equity, the deal that you were able to like come to with Hello Sunshine is life-changing for women in every industry because they can see that it's possible. Precedent setting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Reese, you are a friend. You are inspiration. We love you. And thank you for being with us today.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Amazing. Babe, what's the difference between your 23-year-old self and your 46-year-old self?
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Hello, everyone. I'm Abby. Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. And we have a real treat for you today because we're talking to our dear friend and truly the friend of women everywhere. Correct. Reese Witherspoon.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
You also fell in love. And so that was like big for five years. Yeah, I'm slowly growing. But we know that that's not sustainable, that it can't just be us. Right. Like we actually need a life giving force from others. That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Well, we both are. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
That's really good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
It's so good. I think that this is what we've figured out over the last... many years, our search for more friendship, we want to feel like friends are helping us also learn more about and explore more about the world.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
And I think that we found a couple of friends here that are doing that. And it feels so wonderful. Now that we live in LA, it feels so wonderful.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Nobody's laughing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Reese Witherspoon on Friendship: What, Like It’s Hard? (Best Of)
Oh, get out of here with that. Jesus.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
And Abby talked a lot about what she thinks is most important to our kids and families' happiness. And Michelle and Craig shared stories from their childhood and growing up and then having to answer the question, should we live in the White House, which is a question we have not yet had to face. Alright, y'all. Here comes the preview. You can find more episodes of IMO wherever you get podcasts.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Aber ich denke, manchmal, wenn ich mich zurückdenke, und ich habe mich nicht überlegen lassen, ich habe das Beste gemacht, was ich konnte, aber ich, gerade als ich frisch sauber war, ich war einfach aufgewachsen. Ich war aufgewachsen. Und könnte ich es wiederholen? Ich hätte einen Weg gefunden, ich denke, um mich zu arbeiten, als ich weiterging.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Ich denke, das ist das, was ich einem neuen Eltern sagen würde. Ich weiß nicht, was die Antwort geografisch ist, aber ich denke, wenn ich einen Accountability-Partner hätte, ich weiß, dass niemand Therapie erlauben kann, das ist schrecklich, aber jemand, der mir vielleicht gesagt hätte, du siehst aus, als würdest du jeden 18-monatigen Tag bewegen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Es ist unmöglich, dass etwas mit dir passiert, dass das fühlt sich so an, als wäre das Leben für dich selbst und das Gleiche mit dir selbst, dann fließt es raus zu den Babys, die wirklich nur an dich schauen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I also think that there's something inside of Shira's question that has a desire for structure. And when we have the conversations around families, children and all of the stuff that I know Shira knows about and a business that she's running and her husband and dealing with it. It is nice to feel as though that there is some sort of structure in place in our lives. But there just isn't.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
We're all just making it up. All of us. And because our parents did it in a vastly different way than most of us are doing it now, My parents are still in the same house that I was born in. For me, it's like, I do like, structure liberates me in a way to be like held, to also be free within it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
But also as these children grow up and as you grow up, like when we become adults, I think people just assume at 25 that we're now adults forever. Like my 35-year-old self was very different than my 25-year-old self. My 45-year-old self is going to be very different than 35.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Next Wednesday, I'm going to be different.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
We're all still growing up and trying to figure out, because the world is so different. And so be easy on yourself, Shira. And know that, yes, it feels good to have some structure, but also there has to be a fluidity in the... creating of these philosophies or priorities when trying to decide what is most important here. Is it work? Is it marriage? Is it kids? Is it support systems around you?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I got divorced when my middle was seven. She's seven? She was ten. Your middle was ten. Okay, whatever. I never know how old she is. I'm like that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
She's 18 now. Every once in a while she'll be like, I'm like your room. She's like, oh, it's just the divorce.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Du musst es wirklich machen. Das ist hart.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Du musst sie bewegen. Das macht mich nur daran denken, das könnte ein Side-Tangent sein, aber als Step-Parent, wir nennen es Bonus-Parent, habe ich oft gefragt, und Glendon ist so ein wundervoller Leiter in unserer Familie in diesem Sinne, und hat mir geholfen, wie man parentieren kann, weil ich ein Insta-Mom wurde. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
In fact, one of the times we were going through a drive-thru and they wanted a cake pop. And I said, yes, this is great, I'm going to get cake pops. And they said, can we have one? I'm like, yes, okay. And so I ordered and they said, how many? And I said, all of them. And I said, oh no, I will turn this car around.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Nobody gets any cake, no cake pops. I was just trying to buy their love.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
So, but Glennon, luckily she was there and she put the kibosh on that. Yeah. But I don't know why I went down this road.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
It was a whole semester. I mean, did she do something? Like, did she murder a human?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I mean, I was a pretty bad kid.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I got grounded once. And it was one night.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
And how about you? I was grounded for a quarter. We had quarters. I got a couple Cs and that was it. But I used to get grounded outside. Because all I want to do is sit inside and read.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
You must go and be with people. You must people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Somebody who is worried about... The choices her husband is making is royally messing up her children. I get it. Because look, anytime our kids do a very, very minor, minor situation, I'm like, oh, they can't ever leave the house again. She thinks it's because you think it's your fault. Yeah. Das ist, weil du nur eine Woche, einen Tag oder was auch immer gegründet hast.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Es ist, weil der Welt uns kennt. Es ist, weil wir Geld haben. Was auch immer es ist. Du willst nicht, dass sie enttäuscht werden. Nein.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Right there. And also, I think like where Shira might be at too, I think we are in a world that we can make lists of pros and cons and we can talk to the people. We can even send in a podcast question to Michelle Obama. Tell me what To figure out. But the truth is, and I think Glennon could probably expand on this a little, I think she already knows.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I think deep down there's a knowing inside of her. She's just looking for confirmation. Some which way. Because at the end of the day, nobody knows what the heck they're doing. We just have to make decision after decision. And some are right and some are wrong. And you just kind of like flow with it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Flow with it. And the fact that she's even asking it. I talked to this one parenting expert that said that the trouble is that all the parents that come to her to say, am I doing this right? What should I do? Those are the parents that don't need her. The fact that she is even asking these questions, even saying, what does success look like for my family? That's a great question.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Like, I wish I had done that. Sit down with your person and say, what does success mean? Because you don't want to take the culture seriously. Das ist eine wunderschöne Frage. Was bedeutet das? Was willst du deinen älteren Kindern? All I care about is that they are who they are and that they know that they have a home in us to constantly return to. And so if that's success, that's enough.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
It does. So I'm a three-day New York City person. Three-day max. Two nights, three days, and I'm solid. I love it. I'm like, this is like the wonderland. And then I'm like, please help me get out of here.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Is there something, though, I do think, like when I hear you talk about the way that you were raised and the community, I do... Ja. Ja. Ich glaube, es ist einfach so einfach, wenn Dinge hart werden. Und ich glaube, ich habe das viele Male gemacht. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
It's so true. And Craig, I'm going to get you excited about the line of conversation. I think we'll go with this. Get the oldest into sports. That is because I've moved a lot in my life and we've moved a couple of times. Getting the kids into sports is like, first of all, the kids are the same age, so they're going to grow up. The parents are around-ish the same age as you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
And nowadays, unfortunately, although your dad was great, Nowadays, I think it's the opposite, that it's kind of bizarre how much the parents watch the practices.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I'm like, just let them practice. Stop. Because they're there like yelling at them and they're like trying to coach them. It's not as sweet as what your father was doing. Right. But it's like Insta-Friends. You sit on the sidelines and you're just like, hey, how's it going? What's going on? So that's something for Shira and her partner to think about.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Yeah, that's what we did with our middle one. I didn't understand that. I was like, well, but if they're not good, should they not play sports? And what I, I have never... Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
We learned very quickly that sports were not going to be a thing for her. She came off the field one day and she was talking to her friend and she said, you know how like you're out there and you're miserable and you hate it and you're terrified the whole time, you're scared. And her teammate was like, no, what? And she came home and she said, I'm not supposed to be terrified. I said, no, honey.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
So she now does music and she's doing great at that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
I mean, if I were Shira, I'd be looking at preschools. I mean, when I was teaching, I had to quit teaching when I had my second baby because I couldn't afford to teach. Yeah. I could not afford to go to work. So then I ended up starting a preschool in my home, which I do not recommend.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Don't do that. No, no. But wow, there are so many places that do have beautiful children. Vielen Dank. to me feels like the most important thing. I would look at that. I mean, it's tricky because she said, I want to be in a city so I can make money, but the cities are too expensive to live in. Yeah, that's right. So it's a double bind.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
That's why it's so beautiful to ask yourself, like, what is success? Yeah. I mean, the amount of communities that I've stepped into where the idea of enough is not even a thing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
There are communities in New York and everywhere where you will enter and never, you will never see the end to what the keeping up with the Joneses, the keeping up with the, it just becomes a pursuit of something that is unattainable. And so to actually ask yourself, what is success for this little family? Like, not feeling scarcity. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
having a cushion, then you start to make different decisions if your idea of success is different than whatever culture you're in is telling you it is. I really feel like people are starting to do that. I think the emperor has no clothes of the treadmill of more and more. It's an empty promise that now is feeling empty. And I think these are the questions people are starting to ask.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
And it's really cool. People are going to make different decisions.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Yeah, I mean, when you say it, it makes me think of, oh, because that's what we were told is success. And that is actually, like, in my heart, I understand that they need to be able to be independent. But that's not what I want or think of. Like, I want... Ich denke auch, dass ich in einer etwas anderen Weise informiert bin, weil ich, als ich für die Schule ging, nie nach Hause ging.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Und ich wusste, dass das passieren wird. Ich wusste, dass ich ein guter Fußballspieler war. Ich wusste, dass ich weggehen werde. Ich bin niemals nach Hause gekommen für den Sommer. Ich trainierte immer mit den nationalen Teams, mit den jungen nationalen Teams. Und es gibt eine Part von mir, die weiß, dass das wahrscheinlich nicht gesund war.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Und wahrscheinlich nicht gut für meine gesamte Verbindung mit meiner Geburtstagsfamilie. And there's another part of me that is so grateful because it forced me to take care of myself and become this force, this independent person who has a ton of agency. I'm not scared of much. Anything that comes through the door, I'm able to handle it. And so I see our youngest... Kind of. She's in soccer.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
She's getting recruited right now. It's very exciting. And there's going to be a time where I know that if she really wants to go and signs with the college, I know that she's going to come back less than the others. And that's going to be hard on this one. Mm-hmm. And it will be hard on me too, but I will, I will have, I have walked that walk.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
That's why I was trying to keep the mediocre before she came. That was my whole job. Seriously, every time somebody, they'd be in gymnastics and somebody would say, they're getting really good. Do you want to do the, I was like, oh no, let's try soccer. Like mediocre was the goal. I didn't have to give up my weekend. And then this one came and now they're being recruited.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
So it's interesting, you know, Es gibt wahrscheinlich keine richtige oder falsche Art und Weise. I do think that there is a wisdom in our children's generation and also a little bit of softness. Both. I think because of parents getting more therapy and being more open to listening to what their kids have to say and talking more about trauma and being more in that kind of...
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
frame of mind these children have more wisdom and they have more understanding than they see the world differently and they experience the reality of their world very differently than we did on television screens they're doing it 24 7 on their phones and i also think there's a part of the generation that our children are growing up and that is Es ist nicht so viel in der echten Welt.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Und deshalb ist es schrecklicher für sie.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Ja, ja. Ja. Und es gibt die Tendenz, die codependente Dinge zu erschaffen, weil du nicht weißt, wer du bist, ohne das. Und es könnte also die wichtigste Sache sein, eine Leben zu erschaffen, in der deine Kinder wissen, dass du okay bist, sodass dein Job tatsächlich sein kann, um resiliente Kinder zu erschaffen. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Weil einige von uns werden verwirrt und denken, unser Job ist es, sie zu benötigen.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Und um die Gemeinschaft zu bauen, die sie braucht, die Shira und ihr Partner brauchen, und um eine Karriere zu bauen, die sie sich entlastet fühlt und eine Leben, dann können ihre Kinder wissen, dass sie in Ordnung ist.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Write it down. Figure out what is at the bottom line. What the cost is going to be. What the pros of that cost. And then go deep, deep down and figure out what you want. I think we're all afraid. to actually figure out what it is we really want. And we tend to stay in the I should lane. And so get brave enough to go figure out what it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
And it sounds like she's good at it because she's a handbag maker of her own. That sounds probably like something that she wanted. And geographically, it's not about the geography. I don't want to take away from your guys' options.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I would just say, what is success? Really talking to each other about what does a successful family, what do you mean by that? Most of us don't even Mm-hmm. So what does a successful dad, what does a good dad mean to you? What does it mean to be a good mom? Because those are loaded things that we don't pull apart.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
We need to really get the mental load written down and really assign things. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Die Unterstützung muss oft erst in der Familie gearbeitet werden. Ich denke, es sind wunderschöne Gespräche zu haben. Und jeder, der sitzt, um herauszufinden, was Erfolg ist, anstatt von der Kultur zu verfolgen, wird besser.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Es versucht immer. Wir sagen immer, die Familie versucht immer. Und mach deinen kleinen Plan. Yeah, yeah. We'll see. That's right. Trust me. That's what you thought. A year later, the plan will be different. I always think the only stability we really have is like you and me right here. That's the stability. You and me, and then me and Emma, and then me and Tish.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
It's like a direct, I'm looking at you, you're looking at me. That's the stability we have forever. The geography, the Even our family structure has changed. Sometimes stability isn't what you need to step into the next most beautiful imagination of your family. But that direct line person to person, that's what has to be stable, I think.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
What are you going to do? She's got to send in and let us know. And then we can judge it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Hallo, Podsquatters. I'm sharing something special in your feeds this week. Recently, Abby and I had the absolute pleasure of being guests on a new podcast from our dear friend Michelle Obama called IML. Okay, it took me like months to get how cool Okay. Okay. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Thank you for having us. This is really an honor, really special. And I think it's so special you're choosing to do this together.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Ich meine, es ist interessant, weil diese Frage, ob wir es oder nicht verurteilt haben, hat sich von Anfang an in unserer Familie gezwungen, auch bevor ich Glennon kennengelernt habe. Willst du die Geschichte von Chase und den Pflanzen erzählen?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Yeah, so we have, our oldest is now in college, but became in high school obsessed with plants. So he, his whole room was, there was 30 plants in there. We called them our grand plants. It was exhausting. I didn't ever, I always had to be on guard when he was, had a sleepover. Well, when did he, how did he get into plants? We don't really know. He's an interesting kid.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Strike, twist, pull out. Has not stopped. That was three or four years ago. And that has been, we did, we moved all the time. And we moved for money reasons. I was teaching and we couldn't afford our area. Then we moved close to my parents for the support. Then we thought, like a lot of people have this experience where you love your parents and you think they're wonderful and you also... Ja. Ja.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Each week they're joined by a guest and they tackle real questions from real people and they offer practical advice, personal storytelling and lots of laughs. Their topics range from dating and relationships to family and friends and they really get vulnerable and tell stories that we haven't heard before.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
But his friends aren't there. So I just love that they're thinking about this. Because I think what happened to me, I did a little of the Goldilocks situation. This place is to this, not enough that. But I think I just ran out of time. I think I just kept thinking, I'm going to find the place. And then, so now they have a lot of wings, but they don't have the roots.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Yeah, so I don't know. It's just something we think about all the time right now. Like, what do you need in a place? And I like that she said there's nowhere perfect because there is nowhere perfect.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
When the kids are younger... You're a different kind of person and a parent than when they're a little bit older, getting into their teenage years and becoming young adults. And so their needs change. And we've been talking a lot about this because we're getting to the point where our youngest is about to go to college, empty nesters. And we're wondering, oh...
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
Are we building a life so that they keep coming back to? Or are we building a life that we want to live in? And I think it's probably going to be a mixture of both. But the truth is, they're not going to come back very often as time continues to go on. So we have to figure out A world in which we want to live in with each other. That maybe when they pop in, it's good.
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
This is such an interesting question because there's work involved. Work versus family. Can you do the both?
We Can Do Hard Things
Glennon and Abby on Finding Family Success, from IMO
As someone who does this work with my beloved sibling, it is so cool to see the side of Michelle that Craig brings out. It's one we haven't seen before. Very special. So in our episode, which was so much fun for us, we responded to a listener's question about where to move her young family, where to live.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
The cops are coming. You're on your own.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Yes. And also there's a little, there's gotta be a little part of that little child in you. That's going. Yes. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
You're taking care of me now.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
The whole world.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
I get a notification every day on that app.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
That's so good.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
The self-help industry needs people who need help. And it's like, we have to, the work that we're doing is hopefully putting ourselves out of work.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Yeah, that's a lot. So do with it. Good luck, Chan.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
How do they do that? I don't know.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Is it common for a lot of people that you speak with and read charts for, is it common for them to feel jealous about all the other signs? Because I feel like when you talk, I'm like, I feel like I want to be a different sign.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
I don't know. All of the other ones sound better than mine.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Okay. I just sure do.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
You're right. It's just like grass is always greener. It just, everybody else sounds such a Capricorn moon thing to say.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Holy fuck. You just described my life in two sentences. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Yeah. Can you do Amanda?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Oh, she got, she one-upped you.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
She needs affirmation.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Was coming into learning about astrology at age 12 helpful to understand some of these adults in your life and the choices that they were making? Obviously, addiction is addiction, and Glennon and I know, and Amanda know a lot about that, but did it bring a source of empathy or healing in knowing maybe that they are different in the astrological charts than you are?
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Yeah. I believe in most things.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
And the choices that they made.
We Can Do Hard Things
What Your Sign Says About How You Love: Chani Nicholas (Best Of)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
So I want to ask you about a story I read about the Ask the Turtle.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
I'm curious, has it gotten easier? Because I'm hoping that when I get to 60s, 70s, 80s, I'm hoping that I just give zero shits. About negative feedback? Yeah, because you've been through it for so long. Does it get easier?
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
I also think that when you do get criticized, that is proof of progress because 50 years ago, they were not even talking about us, right? I think that it was in the documentary. I think that that's really interesting. And as a soccer player, That's something that we came to understand in a different way.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
When people started criticizing us, we had to actually learn how to take the criticism because this was new territory. Nobody ever gave a shit before to even criticize us. So it's just like, hey, this is progress.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
So prior to 1975, we have to talk about this because the term sexual harassment did not even exist. Sexual harassment was just life. What I want to know is what injustices are we living through now that we consider just life?
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
It's interesting because the three of us are activists and we will continue to be activists through the rest of our lives. I need to know how you've been able to sustain the energy to keep doing this work decade after decade after decade. Avoiding burnout. Can you give us some tips?
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
I want to... end this podcast in a way that I hope to do you honor. I became who I am as a woman, a lesbian, and an athlete because of you and your sisters and all of the work you've done.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
But your voice... No team sports.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
Your voice giving women a platform gave... the 1972 Title IX law traction that gave me a chance. And I just want to thank you for mothering and sistering me and millions of others into giving birth to ourselves. You have changed the world. You have changed my life and you have changed the world. Gloria, we love you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
Can you tell us about when you asked your mom about why she didn't pursue the love and ambitions of her life?
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
In so many photographs of you and your organizing partners, whether it's you and Bella Abzug, Flo Kennedy, Dorothy Pittman Hughes, or Wilma Mankiller, You all seem to be laughing. There's so much joy and laughter. We have to understand how this is possible after so many decades of fighting against this unrelenting bullshit. How were you and are you so full of laughter instead of bitterness?
We Can Do Hard Things
Gloria Steinem: Laughing Our Way to Liberation (Best Of)
It might be easy for people to think of you as a superhero who happens to be made for conflict. I think of Glennon in this way, too. But you talk all the time about how you actually hate conflict. You cry when you're angry. Yes, I do hate conflict.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Is that related to maybe in a couple where one person feels responsibility for the logistical business of running a family and so has to avow that? that because they feel obligated and then therefore squelch the human part. So the machine part is adopted. The human part, the sexual, the curious, the joyful is squashed. And therefore I'm resenting that in my partner.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Because I have split.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
The opposite. Because then she doesn't have to put her shoes in the wrong place to punish you for withholding your love.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Can you talk a little bit about... what commonly you see in your work is proxies for bigger issues. If there's all of this confused dynamics in a relationships, what are the things that we go to, to give that meaning? Like we fight about sex, we fight about money. What are those things? And then what are they representing that are bigger issues?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Can you give us an example of a, you called it a generational errand?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
What is an example of one of them?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
What do I have a right to be mad about versus what am I supposed to just accept as normal?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
I'm wondering what the third way is in this question, because she's saying, do I need to change my needs or do I need to change my partner? What is the third way for her to be thinking about this as opposed to those two?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Yeah. It's interesting that both this one and the one prior where we talked about wants and needs, it's like part of the answer may mean that we're searching for something within the relationship that that we can access and maybe only can access outside of the relationship. And that that's not a deficiency, that's just the way we were made. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Thank you, Caitlin.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
To be unconscious on the same piece of furniture for eight hours. How did that become a symbol of love?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Yes. And isn't that interesting? Because when you think about the otherness, it either leads to this pattern of kind of righteous, I am correct and you are wrong blame cycle, or it leads to, I see that you are other and incorrect and therefore I have married the wrong person.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Maybe before the wedding. Pre, pre. What is the fear that underlies this issue of otherness? So I'm not necessarily mad because you do X and I do Y. I am deeply disturbed by this because I have some fear of what?
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
I mean, I think it's also interesting the way you're talking about it from a political system and otherness. And I think especially in the last few years, we have experienced a huge polarization and many people are experiencing it in their own homes. And even if they're not politically polarized with their partners.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
One thing I love about your work is you honor feminist theory within your psychoanalysis. So there's this whole idea of an awareness of the political reality within the realities of our relationships. And so what have you seen... That's a major otherness.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
If you're in, like I am, a opposite sex marriage and you're having a very different experience of the last four years just by nature of who you are than I have had, I have noticed myself these resentments, these kind of the anger, that I have to experience being a second class citizen in this country and you never will. And therefore you cannot understand me. You are so other. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Couples Therapy: The Tools You Need with Dr. Orna Guralnik (Best Of)
Have you seen that more in the last?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
So many things in our lives change, but not our love for Viore clothing. I love this ad. We're so glad that they continue to support the show. It's true. Abby is obsessed with Viore. I am a little bit too. Do you think you have a favorite item? They're t-shirts. They never get less soft.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Somebody else's boundaries.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Yeah, it's evolving. And a lot of people kind of rely on, well, you knew this when you got into the relationship and actually people evolve. They're always changing. Sometimes things change. Sometimes you become somebody who wants to turn the lights off at six o'clock and the other person becomes a person that that doesn't want that. How do you negotiate and navigate that?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash hard things. Masterclass.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
It literally just happened the other day, y'all. She walked out of the bedroom. She wasn't even in, nobody was in the room I was in. And I was listening, I was watching a TV show. Happened to be like a fight scene. And it was distressing to her.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Yeah, she opens the door and she's like, who is listening to the TV? That loud. I was like, it's just me up here. And that was upsetting to her. So this is good. This is good, Nadja.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Nedra, I do have a, I have a quick question. I think it's really interesting how linked boundaries are with knowing what you need. How much work do you do talking to your patients about them working out what they really want? Because I have struggled in my life creating boundaries because I didn't really know exactly what I wanted or how to express that and communicate that with other people.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Because it's two different steps.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Glennon would like to watch sports with you.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Bull market or bear market, rising or falling rates, inflation up or down. Can someone please invent a crystal ball for me? Until then, over 41,000 businesses have future-proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud ERP.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
They're just perfect for everything, for going to dinner, for actively going for a walk, for working out, whatever you want to do. They're the best.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
With this unified business management suite, you gain a single source of truth that provides the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. Imagine having real-time insights and forecasting at your fingertips, allowing you to peer into the future with actionable data. When you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can focus more on what's next instead of looking backward.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Speaking of opportunity, download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at netsuite.com slash hard things. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash hard things. netsuite.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
It's different. My face, the way it looks. I'm listening hard. Yeah. When you're when you're in your active listening, you like you get your squint eye and like, you know, you have one eye that squints a little bit more than the other. And then your mouth goes down.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
We just don't want to.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I wear Viore tops all day, every day.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I love that. In the recovery community, like I'm a recovering alcoholic and I had a lot of really strong friendships when I was in the active phase of my addiction. And I don't have a lot of those friendships anymore. And I didn't have like a, hey, we're no longer friends. I do think that in the recovery world, you do need to build your new life. And that sometimes takes time.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
And so having that door that's always available to maybe include them in your sober life
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
As a small business owner, my business is always on my mind and hiring the right people is key to keeping things running smoothly. That's why I trust LinkedIn Jobs. It's the hiring partner that actually works as hard as I do. LinkedIn makes posting jobs so simple. I've used their new feature to quickly create job descriptions and get my openings in front of the right people.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
It's an all-in-one solution, posting for free, sharing with my network, and getting qualified candidates all in one place. At the end of the day, the most important thing to your small business is the quality of candidates. And with LinkedIn, you can feel confident that you're getting the best. Based on LinkedIn data,
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
72% of small businesses using LinkedIn say that they help them find high quality candidates. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash hard things. That's linkedin.com slash hard things to post your job for free. terms and conditions apply.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
It's everything. I mean, I love them, but it's not easy to find clothes that look sleek and feel comfortable. I mean, I can use them everywhere and anywhere I go. Viore is an investment in your happiness. I promise you. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase, plus free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I was walking this morning by myself and I had this like grateful moment that I was alone and which is a big deal for me because I'm a people person big time. And so it's taken me a long time to get comfortable by being by myself just this year. I've been like consciously making choices to do things on my own.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
The codependency that we had for so long, me just making sure you're OK, doing everything together. But today on my walk, I was like, look at you. You're walking by yourself and happy about it.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Is it real? That's so good because I have much more of a leniency when it comes to people. And so I'm more capable of that unconditional love. And it's interesting being married to somebody who is more boundaried in that way.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I've gotten so good at reading movies because I just turned the captions off so the volume could be lower.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I think that that is maybe a source of friction at times because I'm more, and I don't mean to say this, I'm more open and you have a tendency to be more, what word would you use? Closed like Fort Knox. And so that poses problems. I love that, sister. That's really good.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I'm actually really interested in talking about the concept of boundaries and those who I sometimes notice as being boundaried sometimes can be seen as a-holes. Right. Like your wife? No, I wasn't saying that. But for me, I very much am other people minded. I'm very big people, people pleaser. And so I don't want to come off as an a-hole. I want to be
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Nedra, can you give us a little script at ways in which setting boundaries can be done easily? For me, it would be good to have like in my back pocket as we end this conversation today to be able to say, okay, I can maybe start there. Something like as the most simple way to set a boundary.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
I loved this conversation so much.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing online. On the planet at Viori.com slash hard things. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash hard things. You won't be sorry. Finding a great mentor who can really help me level up, it's not easy. But my dream mentor, Jodi Foster. She's our friend. So when I heard that she had a class on Masterclass, I was so excited to learn from her.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
Masterclass is the ultimate way to learn from the best to become your best. It's the only platform where you can access over 200 world renowned instructors for just $10 a month. An annual membership gives you unlimited access to every instructor. One session that truly has made an impact on me was James Clear's class on building new habits.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
His actionable tips helped me create a daily routine that really does actually work. With 88% of masterclass members reporting a positive impact, it's clear why classes are so effective. Plus, every new membership comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash hard things.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Say No: Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab (Best Of)
That's just crazy talent. I think that's just control. Yeah. Okay, never mind.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Hello, sweet world. Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. I think today we'll call this We Can Do Funny Things because we have one of the funniest people in the universe here. The three of us love to high heavens. Yeah. So first of all, I'll just tell you, we have Sam Irby here.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
As you do. Right. I'm at the soccer as per usual. But it's a big soccer. Okay. Like the biggest soccer. It's the biggest soccer. Like the Super Bowl of soccer. The Oscars of soccer, if you will. Yes. Yes. The Grammys.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
So like the Tonys. Like the Tonys of soccer. Oh my God, just go with the story. And I get a text, okay? And it says something like the following. Hello, Glennon. I'm sorry to escalate our friendship on text in this way, but I'm an emergency. I'm sitting in a room full of people. And I may have told the people that I'm very good friends with you.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Or go. Take what you need and then be like, I think you've taken me as far. I don't want to be fixed all the way. I'm out of here.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
And now they are calling me on it and asking me to call you. So can you please answer your phone and act like we're good friends? I mean, I mean, do you remember Abby sitting there being like, well, now she's our favorite person in the entire. Instant.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Speaking of dudes in carabiners, I find this part of you very interesting, okay? You approach friendship in a very different place than a lot of people I know. You can be friends. Well, you're friends with a dude who wears a Budweiser belt buckle, unironically. What? Right? Yes. Like... So this is hard for me to do because I don't know. I weed people out.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I guess I believe that people's belief systems, as might be manifested in their belt buckles, are parts of their character. Right. So I want to learn from you in this. Tell me how this works for you, because you can be friends with anybody.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Of course, we were sending pictures. Like, we can't believe you couldn't come with us. Here's your extra seat. This game sucks without you. Yeah. Yeah. I've loved you ever since that moment. Okay, so Sam, we want to start this interview with one of our favorite questions, which is this. It was a question that Rachel Elizabeth asked, and it was this. Did you have a happy childhood before?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Yeah, it's... Don't you wish? Don't you wish I was more like that? No, that is exactly how I feel. I know, babe.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
That's why I asked, Sam. Okay, I'm trying to learn this.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I think that's what I'm usually, if someone's in my house watching wrestling, Sam, which wouldn't happen, but okay. I am thinking, I'm side-eyeing that person thinking, is this person one of my soulmates or not? And then when they roll their eyes at the wrong commercial, it's over. You know?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
We need different words for friends. Yes. We need different words for friends because I don't want to say Bob's my friend because I don't want that to reflect. Right. The next thing Bob says this and then you're like, wait, why are you friends with that dude? Right. Different words. Right.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Or are you funny?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I get that. Do you sometimes feel responsibility to just always be funny and always be doing the thing with other people?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Speaking of capital F, friends, can we talk about your lady a little bit?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Your lady. Is it Kirsten or Kirsten?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Okay. So you two, didn't you meet, did she reach out to you? She slid into your DMs, didn't she?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Like that day, did you, or was it a slow burn or was it like?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
So what is your life like now? You're in Michigan. You've got the two kids. You do not consider yourself a step-parent.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
That's great. Okay. One of my favorite things that you write about is your belief in not FOMO. But JOMO, not the fear of missing out, but the joy of missing out. Okay. And I feel like especially, you know, activities, you said you have finally learned that no one else is ever having a better time than you are. Like everything sucks and everywhere everyone is sucks, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I would disagree.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I love that you can do it, but never. Never. No, the mix is the thing that should be avoided. Yes. The mix. Yes. Okay. But it's not that it's just the joy of missing out on the event. You have taught us about the joy of missing out on having a take on fucking everything.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
This is one of my favorite. So Sam's talking about or writing about the idea that she's supposed to have an opinion or a take on every single thing that happens in the world. And this is one of my favorite that ever was said. One of the reasons I give a lot of disclaimers is because we give so much weight to what people say who maybe we should not be listening to.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
I do want to remind people, don't ask me about the news. I don't watch the news. I haven't read a history book since 1997. I am keenly aware of what I know and what I don't know. One of the things I don't know is anything smart or important that needs to be told to other people.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Well, Sam, your aunt of an experience on this giant world has helped so many of us just find the absurd to make the next five minutes a little bit more tolerable. That's what you do for all of us.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
What went down that you had to get funny for?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
We can do hard things, love bugs. Like, shut the fuck up. We will see you next time on We Can Do Hard Things. Sam Irby, thank you for this hour and thank you for who you are in the world.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things. First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts,
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts, and then just tap the plus sign in the upper right-hand corner or click on follow. This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five-star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey. Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
All right. Samantha Irby writes the Bitches Gotta Eat blog and is the author of Wow, No Thank You, We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, and Needy. She has been a writer and or co-producer for TV shows including And Just Like That, Work in Progress, Shrill, and Tuca and Bertie. Sam Irby. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
It's so interesting because some people have a lot of us have the like, it'll get better. So the optimism we get through because we tell ourself it's going to get better. But your theory has always been. No, I can just make the next five minutes more bearable. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Okay, so let's get the cool out of the way right away because what I want to start with, Sam, is our friendship origin story, which is my favorite story in the world. Okay, so Sam and I did an event together recently. At the end of the event, I loved her so much. I sent her my phone number and email. Months and months later, lo so many months later, I am sitting in France at the World Cup. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
That's good. Is it always a deflection? Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Are you becoming positive, Sam?
We Can Do Hard Things
How to Survive This Absurd Life with Samantha Irby (Best Of)
Okay, so is there anything that's been helpful? Have you experienced anything in that room that has been helpful for your lava?
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Yeah. I think that what's under all of this too is when women enter into a workplace that is dominated by men, it's this like subconscious thought That, oh, I have to fit in here somehow. And so there's going to be things that I'm going to need to take. Like a man. Like we have to turn ourselves into men. And if this guy is saying something to me, does he see me as one of the guys?
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Like there's all of this confusing messages that we're getting. And, and like you said, once you get that platform or you've been with a company long enough where you can actually have a voice and, What can we do to help the younger generation? Because if reporting isn't doing anything, if coming forward is making our lives fucking worse. Yeah. How do we actually help the next generation?
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
I think it's also a conversation around the institution that you're in and the people that you go to, your bosses. So I would suggest somebody trying to get into these new spaces to, at the interviews, ask what are your reporting policies and who does that go to and how is it handled? I think that because you've built a relationship with people
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
your bosses who, you know, are going to at least have a conversation. Maybe that person doesn't get fired, but that person now has the idea bubble in their head that they take with them to work every day. And that is, that is actually consciousness shifting because you're putting out media into the world that people are consuming.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
And so if you're changing it in just this little way, it's going to have these huge consequences, positive, I think.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Masculine and feminine.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Probably. Okay, so... You are a woman that is in an exceptionally male-dominated field. I know that field well. And so we wanted you to come here for that reason, and also because we love you. Because in many ways, this means you represent what every woman in the workplace or social media endures, except yours is that much more egregious.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
I mean, the worst part about the tiger thing is that there was a moment for him where he saw the tampon. Where did he see this tampon? He had to pack it. He picked it up. He picked it for nine holes. He literally put it in his bag.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
Which is so fucking weird.
We Can Do Hard Things
Women at Work & The Episode That Wasn’t with Sarah Spain (Best Of)
You came to this field because you love this work in sports, but your work is not evaluated according to the criteria of work in sports. Your work is evaluated exclusively as a woman.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Well, I think this was a shock to me because I think it's really interesting how much it happens between and among women.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
In my experience, it has come back to me in terms of when I ask straightforward questions questions, accountability questions, what I view as non-confrontational questions or just pushing, which is literally my job is to advance things by pushing them through.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I will get feedback from a colleague of the person that I'm trying to get the answers from that, you know, you should just don't, you don't really... you don't work great together. You two, you just kind of don't click. And it's the idea that I am some sort of way that is untenable because I'm asking those things and, and is often, most often with women. And so.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Right. Well, I think that when men get fired up, they're viewed as passionate and unrelenting and devoted and driven. Yes. And when women get fired up, they are seen as out of control and petulant and... Difficult to work with. Difficult. Difficult to work with. Right. I think it's intensity... When a woman is intense, the world is not comfortable with it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I can't be like that. Well, and this is why it's so important to talk to each other. I have a dear friend who works on a team. She's complete badass. The, one of the members of her team called their higher up out for something that was, who was a man who was completely out of line on something. Nobody else knew that the other team member had called the person out. Then they
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
dude calls all the other members of the team other than her and says, I'm worried about her mental.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Like she's just seems a little overwhelmed and a little overworked. And I think we might need to pull this back from her. I'm just really worried about her. Okay. Everybody else is like, oh my God, I, I guess we are, she is, she does handle a lot. She must be stressed. Like maybe we should pull this back from her. Nobody knows until she calls and says, I just had this crazy issue with this dude.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And then they put together that she had had the issue and then dude called the rest of them to, to pull back the work under the guise of, you know, we're just really worried to make sure it's, it's, scary.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And not only that, but I deserve this. I have put myself in a position to lose my safety. It's like Icarus too close to the sun. It's I should have known that if I had the audacity to use my voice, if I had the audacity to try to make change, if I had the audacity to think that I deserve to be leading that thing, then I deserve whatever consequences I brought on myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Instead of, I have the right to be both safe and heard, to be both loud and safe. We immediately say, my bad, retreat, retreat.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Just imagine you got your like VP of company Inc or your president of or CEO of LLC Z. And- Could you ever imagine being like, that guy, I went to college with him. All he wants to do is work hard and succeed and make money. Can you believe that? Bastard. What a... actual asshole. Yeah. No one would ever say that. No. It would be said in a, that guy, he has been driven since the day I knew him.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
He's been hustling. He's CEO of that company. He does so well.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And that I think is universally applicable to folks who are operating on the internet. It reminds me of what you said about how that becomes a tug of war where if you put something out in the world and then somebody else pulls back on it and says in a way with malice of like, this is horseshit and this is why.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
If you choose to pick up the tug of war and tug back and forth with them, that is the way you're occupying your time and your energy is doing that. Whereas if you let go of the rope, you can now move on and create something else. So that applies to everyday people from an internet perspective. It doesn't make sense to waste your time engaging with those people.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
But I'm thinking in the context of a corporate environment. the rules of corporate engagement don't always dictate, especially if you're in certain corporate climates, that people behave with kindness and empathy.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And you can also get a little bit into the gendered space because like you must deliver that in a kind way can be at some point on a spectrum with the, you didn't use enough exclamation points and smiley faces in a corporate setting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I think it does. And I think the thing underlying that, like the question would be, Is this a person or feedback that you could ever make right without abandoning yourself? Yes. Because there's certain people that deliver that as retribution for violating their rules, how they see the world, the way they believe you should behave.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Like, don't y'all hate it when you pick up a People magazine and people are talking shit about you? Like not exactly hashtag relatable to folks like me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
that any change that you make is besides disappearing is never going to satisfy them. So by definition, it doesn't make any sense for you to entertain that because the only way that you're going to appease that person is by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing. That's right. So I think that's a category. Now that said, I think that a lot of women are victims of this kind of
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
you didn't say it nicely enough. And therefore I'm going to discount what you're saying in the corporate world. And I feel like that is something that I've experienced. Like you didn't couch it in sweet. If not, no, JK, just joking. I think, I just think that maybe we should, as opposed to saying, here's what we need to do. Here's what I need you to do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
This is the information I need by the end of the day. Yep. That that can be seen as she is demanding. She is, she is unreasonable. She is not kind.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
You know, because you can very much get into the content policing where you're like, you're not being nice. You're not being sweet to each other. No, she's just telling you the truth and it feels like shit to you because that truth hurts you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
if we're trying to draw this parallel to the extent that it's possible between your workplace, Glennon, which is among this community and predominantly on the internet versus where a lot of people experience this in the workplace. I think it's some people view all conflict as problematic and mean. And that is, is not my experience, nor is it like what the business data says about conflict.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
There's two sets of conflicts and there's a difference between a constructive conflict and destructive conflict. The way destructive conflict is presented it actually can bring down the morale of the entire department. It reduces the success of the business. And that is similar to you getting destructive criticism online that you actually should not take into account, but you do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And then there's also this idea of not getting so haughty that you don't believe that people that can provide you feedback have valuable... either lived experience or insights that are in our blind spots. Businesses and communities are made stronger by constructive conflict.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And that's like when you have all these different ideas and worldviews and when you're able to express them and receive them without being defensive, that's what makes you stronger. more aligned with your goals and your missions. And I feel like we have that a lot. I do think that oftentimes when we have said something or done something, we are able to say, oh,
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I am reading what you're saying and that is a good point that I had not considered. Yeah. And I appreciate that and I'm metabolizing that and we're going to come back and repair that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And that I think circles us back to that idea first episode that we did on criticism a while back where it's the difference between people who can't wait to bring you down versus the people who are willing to help you stand up up better.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And those people are making an investment in you. And even when it feels like shit and even when it's hard to take, it would be easier for those folks, whether you're in relationship with them, whether you're in business with them or whether they're in your communities to just not tell you and then talk shit about you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
So they're helping you stand up by sharing it with you. And it's best not to be defensive to that. And it's best to just take A deep breath. Adam Grant talks about like everybody needs support groups and everybody needs challenge networks. And so your support network is people are there for you no matter what.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And to support you and your challenge network is people that are going to tell you the truth no matter what, even if it's about something you did wrong, because that is how you get support. to be more aligned with what you're trying to do. I have a question.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
It's that Hubbard quote, the only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, be nothing, say nothing. If you really are going to orient your life about not being a target of criticism, especially if you're... a woman, that's the only way you're going to do it. So really be intellectually honest about your goals.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
If you're telling yourself you can't handle criticism, you have to tell yourself that you're willing to accept a life in which you do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I think that we are lucky to have the advantage of having seen millions of comments over 10 years because I actually do. The point at which I really believed and understood that it was not personal is when I could go to a place and know with certainty that 20% of the comments are going to say this. 20% are going to say this. I knew exactly what they'd be. And they always are.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
And that's how you know that it actually has nothing to do with you. It has to do with this is what we can expect from the world when anyone shows up in any kind of audacious way.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I'm not even trying to hide how fucked up I am. I'm still going to be saying all this stuff.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Right? Right. It's a chilling effect on women standing up and having a voice in any way, because we do know that they're much more likely to be subject to attacks. It's open season. Like a woman steps up and says something about anything that's important. And then It isn't what she says. It's open season, her looks, her family, her level of crazy, her hair, her whatever is subject to attack.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Be messy, complicated, and afraid.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Yeah. In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, criticism hits not in the self-esteem area. Criticism hits in the way more primal, higher level of important needs, which is safety. That's where we experience criticism.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I have a question for you, Abby. So I'm wondering if you take that a step further. Do you take the criticism as a sign that you are a more effective predator in the savannah? And that's why they're giving you so much. attention and shit. Yeah. So you feed off of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
I asked you that. So this is fascinating because it depends on what role you think you're in. And if you... are in this specific role where you see yourself, you belong in this area, then you do need to be nurturing, empathetic, in communication, open, all of these things that make you much more vulnerable and quote unquote need to fall in line with what these people demand of you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Whereas Abby is like, oh no, my role here is, is to take shots and give shots. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
We love you. This week, remember, when things get hard, be messy, complicated, and afraid, and show up. Anyway, see you next time. Word. Bye. Bye.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Well, it kind of is a question mark because the whole word, it's curious, the word. Is that word accurately described what we're talking about? It's a really good point. Is it feedback? Does it even count as feedback if it's from strangers? Because presumably you have to direct something to someone for it to be a feedback.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Can I pause one second on the first category about looks? It's super hard to view that as not personal because we think if I didn't look like this, I wouldn't get this feedback. But if you could instead think about it as an indicia of
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
That is where people go when people see a woman that is powerful or creative or is shaking the status quo in any way, whether it's an idea at a meeting or whatever, and they go through a checklist. This is the checklist. And the last thing that they can get to is her looks. If you look at Justice Sotomayor, when she was at the confirmation hearings, the media reports that were about her looks were
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
If you look at when Hillary Clinton ran for office, it is the criticism equivalent of slapstick comedy. Exactly. If you can't get something at a higher level, you go there. And so although it feels deeply personal, from a structural gender policing standpoint, it is universally accepted that that is the last nuclear option to get at a woman who is trying to change things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
So the corporate version of this would be the very engaged, prolific corporate attorney who is killing it at their job and people present under the guise of concern and Wow. You know, I mean, I know she's doing such a great job, but she has a nanny at home all the time. She hardly ever sees it. When did she see her kid? Feigned as concern.
We Can Do Hard Things
Five Criticism Survival Strategies (Best Of)
Who is she to think that we, to have the audacity to believe that we should listen to her?
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
No, because I know how you feel about men in general.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I think that you have been in a cage for so many years. seconds of your life that it doesn't matter to me. I know that we are going to be together forever. And of course I just, I have that fear in general because of my own unworthiness complex that I've built over the course of my life. But I do think that there for you, you need to have the freedom to not put yourself into another box of
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Everything is very confusing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
That is something. I mean, we were watching Hacks a couple of weeks ago and this non-binary person came on the screen and she said, that is a beautiful person. And I looked at her and it was like, It was the first time that I was like, wait a second. That's my lane. You're not allowed to talk about other people who are in my lane. Like, what the fuck?
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
She looked at me and she's like, she saw my sincere concern. She's like, what? Oh, no, I don't. No, no. I, you know, and was trying to back out of it. Yeah. But what? Wow. Wow. Wow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Start your test today for one euro per month on shopify.de slash radio.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I wonder, because this might have been around the time that you started to delve into bulimia.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
You just married one man.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I was named after her.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Wow. You both are the background in our life and our children's life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Ooh. I didn't know that. So that changes that. I love that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I loved church. When I was three, I knew all of the church songs. I stood on the pews with my hands on the back of the pew in front of me. I was loud. I was into it. And then over time, as soon as I started to feel my sexuality coming to the surface, I fucking hated myself. Mm-hmm. Like I felt that shame and I embodied it in my cells and like the molecular makeup of who I am.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
And then I get to be 16 years old. And this is actually the first time I ever acknowledged outwardly, not with words, but with action to my mom. We were in a store and y'all's CD was at the checkout line. And I picked up your CD and my sister, Laura, who's a little bit older than me, she's 10 years older than me and she's gay. I came out first, but she listened to you all.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
And I grabbed the CD and I said to my mom, can I buy this? Can you buy this for me? And she said, yeah. And that was like that was like one of the most important moments of my life. It was like me taking ownership of myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I didn't come out to her for like six years after that. But still, it was it was like one of the most important moments of my life. And y'all were a big part of it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Abby. Wait, are you serious? Yeah. No, we didn't get into a huge fight, but she's been a little bit on edge this morning. She literally shushed me a little bit ago because I came back from workout and oftentimes my volume is a little higher. Anyway. And so just recently, as we sat down, I said, are you upset with me? And she said, no. What did you say?
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
And my goodness, Amy, what you just said, I'm more masculine. I have more masculine tendencies. And so, of course, no straight man who would want to be with a woman would ever want me. So it felt like this is... The way you articulated that was like the most true thing that I have heard about my own gender and sexuality and how they are in relationship to each other.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
That it's like, well, I can't be that. Nobody will want me over here. So, of course, then I'll just... I have to be gay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
No, it's not the point. It's like I want to be everything if I want to be everything. You know, like I have had sex with dudes and it wasn't like the worst experience of my life.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Do you love or hate the fluidity of that for you?
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
And I think what probably was bringing you into the depths of your addiction was this cover or the costumes that you had to keep putting on. And Glennon talks a lot about going to our first meeting and finally listening to people telling the truth for the first time. And I bet because they speak so much truth in their music. And I bet that that was such an attraction to you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I know. And it's so cool. And I'm like, we're vertical. It's so cool because she got sober 20 years ago. We're not on the lam. She still feels this way. This is a 20 year veteran. No one's arresting me today.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
And, um, we love you. We love you very much. You've brought so much love and joy into our lives.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
Yeah. We need to wrap it up. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
I have that with Glennon. I have like a lot of internalized homophobia that still lives in me today. And Glennon grew up with straight privilege and has always been fighting for gay rights for the longest time. She was marching at gay pride parades before I was. And I just think that that's so interesting. Like I look at her and sometimes I think, Not fuck you, because I would never say that.
We Can Do Hard Things
Indigo Girls: Sexuality, Sobriety, Faith & Freedom (Best Of)
But like, really? Like, you just got here and you feel free. And I've been keeping myself in this homophobic cage for so long. I don't know. I just think it's really interesting. And, you know, you both have said that you were a little scared of your own gayness.
We Can Do Hard Things
Life Hacks: Strategies to Suffer Less (Best Of)
Hi, Glennon, Abby, and sister. My name is Kim. My life hack is that if I go away, I tell everyone I'm coming back a day later than I actually do. That way no one is looking for me and I have a whole day for re-entry back into the world. Love what you guys do. Take you on all of my walks. Even when it's raining.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
You have so many of these so-called brokennesses and you just mentioned a few of them. You also have ADD and severe autoimmune diseases. One of the reasons so many people hold to your words like a lifeline is that you're able to put words to experiences that so many have, but are lonely and
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
and severely isolated inside of because they don't have a bridge of words to be seen and understood by other people. And you put words to these internal realities that are so absurdly accurate and honest and brilliant and often hilarious that you are bringing light to the experience that so many have.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And I believe it's saving lives that you are giving people a bridge to walk over with your words. You describe your ADD self as a kitten on cocaine. Yeah. Please say more. Yeah. What is it like to live with ADD?
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
At least it's just not the way it works for you and Jenny.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
I'm just trying to say that there might be different people out there also.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And it also speaks to like maybe that is true of those people's experiences, but it's not
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
socially acceptable to talk about it from the thick that's right it's only like oh I too used to be an alcoholic I too used to whatever but but when you say like currently now right this moment live broadcasting live to you is a very different beast it's revolutionary yes in a world that just celebrates victory stories and it's true in a way that makes people like
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Wouldn't it be funny if it wasn't? Well, after that intro, we couldn't get Jenny. She's high demand. But we have this other girl who used to know Jenny. Who's better now? Hi, Jenny.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
That's right. That's right. Oh, God. Oh, it's so good. That's so amazing. All my favorite stuff's in there. Yeah. I'm just going to say real quick for anyone who's experiencing that who needs a place to reach out. Jenny mentioned the crisis hotline. It is 800-273-8255. Thank you, sister. 800-273-8255.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And if you're sitting here thinking, how is that brilliant, amazing woman possibly considering that the world might be better without her? That's crazy. No pun intended. Yeah. that is also true for you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
The person who is listening. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Same, Jenny. Right?
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Yeah. Putting like a number on it. I think for me, especially with Glennon, who also suffers from depression and anxiety, um, I have had to tune into some of her triggers, like become hyper aware of some of her triggers. Actually, one of them happened last night.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And the way I respond to knowing that something could be upsetting or could be creating an anxiety in her, the way in which I respond to that, the way in which I ask about that almost is more important in some ways than me even asking. I mean, I think putting a number on it is like a brilliant way because it kind of cuts out any kind of judgment in it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And so that I think is going to be, that's going to be like really helpful. I think for me and my marriage, you know, because I'll just say, how are you feeling? You know? And she's like, I'm like, don't give me another job. She's like, she's doing like six, like calculations in her head. Like why, Hey, why did you fucking ask me that? And B, how am I responding?
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
So I think that that number, putting a number on it is really, really beautiful.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Plus fine can mean so many different things. Fine depends on your baseline. I mean, fine can mean I'm getting through, I'm surviving, I'm going to show up tomorrow. But that's not necessarily fine. When I was reading your book, Jenny, it was one of the things that... convinced me to get on anti-anxiety medicine because I read a part of your book that has always been my fine.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
That has always been, I just thought that's how life was. And I didn't understand there could be a way that could be different, that that might actually be anxiety That is that experience that could potentially get better for me as opposed to I would have said I was fine because that's how I've always 100% been.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
I want to read this one part that I identified so much with because to the extent it helps anyone else. You were talking about anxiety and you said, sometimes my anxiety gets hard in ways that you might not expect. If you struggle with anxiety, you probably know this feeling, the paralysis.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
I get stuck and suddenly it's been days since I replied to people on the internet and the pressure gets worse and I panic that people I haven't responded to are mad at me
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
So I ignore their emails and I don't look at my DMs or my texts and I don't answer my phone or listen to voicemails because if I just wait until my mind gets better, maybe I could deal with this then, but I don't because it doesn't. And instead I look at those unopened emails from my friends and family and colleagues until I have memorized the subject lines by heart.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And I think about how strange it is. that they probably think I'm ignoring them, when in fact, I am utterly haunted by them. Yes!
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Yes! The idea that you would spend an hour...
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Thinking about the email that would take five minutes to write back and not understand why you're such a deeply fucked up person that you have now spent six hours thinking about someone who must only assume that you don't give a shit about them because why won't you text them back for the third time that they're like, just text me back and let me know you're okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Jenny Lawson is an award-winning writer and humorist known for her piercing candor in sharing her struggle with mental illness. She's written four, count that folks, four New York Times bestsellers, including Let's Pretend This Never Happened, A Mostly True Memoir, Furiously Happy,
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And you're like, and then you just shut down.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Leave it as I wrote it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
A funny book about terrible things and broken in the best possible way, which recently won the Goodreads Choice Award for the best humor of 2021. She's the owner of Nowhere Bookshop, an indie bookstore in San Antonio. Jenny lives in Texas with her husband and child and would like to be your friend unless you're a real asshole. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
There's no reason for you to have your dress on. So you could just have your frozen broccoli just naked with your Mr. Who. Oh my God.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Happens to me every time.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
See how she led with me, Jenny? She added Abby to be sweet, but mostly it was for me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
My favorite one in the book was the woman at the hairdresser who, when they said, well, what do you want done today? And she said, I would like to have a wash, a cut and a blow job. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Well, I mean, I don't think that I, of any of the three of us, have assholery. You're the least asshole. That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
That's exactly what I was trying to get at. I'm the asshole.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
And for the next right thing, I think everybody should just go out and share their most humiliating story.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
Or you can email. Yes. If you prefer that, if you're not into the voice messaging, the email is WCDHTPod at gmail.com. So it's the first letters of We Can Do Hard Things, pod at gmail.com. WCDHTPod at gmail.com.
We Can Do Hard Things
Jenny Lawson is Broken (in the Best Possible Way) (Best Of)
She's letting me watch four hours of TV. I love my mama.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Oh, my gosh. Well, the people can't see the cuteness.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I don't care. My thought process of what the outworld is, the world out there thinks of me is so little. Like I don't think about what other people, I mean, I care about what you think of me, honey, but, and what sister thinks of me on some level, but the reality is growing up the way that I did, I was challenging from the very beginning, the way that I was feeling on the inside.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I didn't know that it was about my gayness. I didn't know that it was about my, being an inherent and born feminist like I didn't know any of those things when I was young all I knew is just that when I went out into the recess and got on the playground that I wanted to play as rough and hard and have as much fun as I saw the boys having right and it's like
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
even though you might not have participated in the monkey bars or whatever it was on the playground, I wanted to have the ability to do that. And I knew that I could do it at the same level that they could. And so I think because I was also naturally gifted as an athlete, that gave me some leveling of social dynamics as a really young kid, which probably affected the way that I view the world.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
You know, it's like, I mean, right now, the thing that I have the most fun doing is play golf. And I think both of you would want to stab your eyes with forks out having to go play a round of golf right now. We did it once.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Not the way I play it, but thank you for bashing so much of my fun, honey.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Does that count? Yes, it does. Because if something sparks joy, it's like the Marie Kondo thing, right? Like if you hold something, if you're experiencing something, the thing is, I don't know if you and sister really truly have experienced pure joy without like some sort of conclusion or a required outcome. You know, it's like going on the boat.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And for you, Glennon, I know it's like being with the kids and having like a day that is full of joy.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
complete life like i know that that fills you up so and everybody's different like you're not going to have the same kind of fun as as i am but at the end of the day you have to figure out what fun is to you so that when you do walk away from work life you don't have to totally reform and transition into a complete unknown you have set up some foundational building blocks that will give you a little bit of confidence heading into that next part of your life
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Mm-hmm. that's also not fun that's right for me yeah it's because it's basing somebody else's opinion about what they want to be doing and taking it on as your own so i think that you guys have a fun stunted growth because of the way that you were raised on a sailboat truly and i think that because the way that maybe you've perceived the modeling of what being a good wife is is
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
It's like you have to ask the people around you, like, what is fun? I mean, honey, you actually ask me that all the time. Like, what do I want to do today? Like, what do I think is fun? What do I want?
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
What is fun? What I want to actually say is, have you ever thought about why watching our women's national soccer team is so interesting for women?
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Both men and women, right? A lot of times I've been told, you know, I just, I don't know why I love watching you so much. And a lot of times it's covered up with this whole winning thing, which helps. I do understand that. Yeah. But I think it's way deeper than that. I think for women, it's like this awareness, like this great deep learning about what could be.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And then for men too, because they also are conditioned to believe that like women don't know how to have fun because we never have been given the chance or taken the opportunity to have fun. I think that that's why I confuse both of you so much is like all I'm looking for in life is to have fun. It's why I turned into an alcoholic.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
It's the reason why it took me so long to get sober because I quite frankly, I thought that all of my fun would be zapped, like just gone instantly as soon as I stopped drinking. But the reality is you have to create new ways of having fun. without drinking, obviously. But I don't know. I just feel we all have to do a little bit of digging on you individually, on me individually.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
What do I experience as joy? And what I do now is different than I did 10 years ago, will be different what I do in 10 years. But the experience of it, like I even enjoy doing something new for the first time just to see if it's going to be fun. Yeah. I know, it's so wild.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Okay. So here's the thing. When I stepped into your family and I do feel like it was a stepping into. The very first correspondence I had with Sister was this, don't ever lie to Glennon. Now, that taught me a lot about you, Glennon. Also taught me a lot about Sister because she inadvertently, I think, was telling me also don't lie to me. Right. Because this family revolves around integrity.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Does that count? I think so. I absolutely think so. I think that seeing how you devour books, like you don't just sit, you're not just doing it to pass the time. You're actually interested in what's happening.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And what you're reading. And then when you go on your walks, you're thinking about the thing that you just read. Like that to you, I think is actual joy. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I think it could happen.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I want it to be understood. Stop, stop, stop. What you need to understand is that this can't just be a thought. The way that fun is had is you actually have to experience it, right? So we are going to spend the next six months talking about this futuristic social gathering that we will then find any kind of possible problem, which will lead us to never pick a specific person or a couple Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
All right. So, okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Because here's the thing, like one of the most important elements of fun is that you don't know what the outcome is going to be. So the act of life of like experience, you might have fun and you also might not, but that gives you some information of what you should do next time or what you shouldn't do next time. All right. That sounds like great fun.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Wow. It's really good. And I think that, you know, Glennon, there's times where I'm like, hey, have you run into Glennon today? And you're like, yes. And sometimes that happens earlier in days than normal.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And maybe this is it. Maybe the antidote or the prescription is that you need to have a little bit more play in your life so that you can stay having enough Glennon for the whole day.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Like that's like the core value. But I don't think that I've met people who are more integrated with what's going on in their insides and what goes on in their outsides. Now, I've also never met more hardworking people. In fact, it's one of our five fights that sometimes I like to lay down in the middle of the day. And Glennon, that's not something that you understand.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I also probably would think that Amanda doesn't understand this either.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Right? Right. Yes. But here's the thing. I... I'm fascinated by the two of you because first of all, I love you so much and I have never felt so trusted and taken care of in the same breath. It's like because you guys operate with this integrity so intact and It is at the core of everything that we participate ourselves in, whether it's a card game. Although, Glennon, you do cheat sometimes.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
I do cheat at cards.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
We got to stop saying girl, babe.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Three different species that when you combined us all together, it's like we make the perfect pairs or triple. I wouldn't know how to say that. Well, what I was telling you on the walk, because you like to talk about everything that you're going to do, right? And you were about to do an episode on something or other. So we were having this conversation about jealousy and it came up.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
you said, you know, you're not really jealous. You don't really have jealousy in you. And I was like, well, I do. I just like deal with it differently. And I was talking about how I feel sometimes jealous of sister because she can't not be your sister. Like she's tied to you by blood forever. And you have to choose to be with me forever. It's like a choice, you know? And I know that we're tied.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
and legally, but you can always break that. Like you can't break up with your sister. And that gives me so much jealousy for Sissy.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
It's a real thing out in the world. It's true. However, you're not the kind of sister that people break up with, Sissy.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And for the people out there listening, Amanda Doyle, Glennon's sister, is the taker-carer of our family. And not just Glennon and I, but like of our children. She's always holding everybody close.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
in place somehow like she is the strength she is the the the the person who um makes everything less confusing because she's smarter than all of us no offense glennon but she like legally takes care of us because she's smart with the law organizationally and then contractually and and And then emotionally, she's always there.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Like the other day I said, you know, I want to get sister a sister somehow.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
You need Amanda kind of sister.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Okay, I'm going to throw a little curveball, and my apologies. What we in the sports world say, curveball or audible. Okay. You know what those mean? You do. Your dad was a football guy.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Yeah. So here is the deal. I'm having an intervention with you two because I'm not bringing my hard thing. I'm bringing something that I notice is both y'all's hard thing. And we talk about it. We have talked about it. We have different opinions about the subject. And what I'm here to intervene with you two about is fun. Oh, God. Having fun. Defining fun.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Deciding what you each individually feel like is fun. I mean, this is an intervention and I'm not standing up from the seat until we figure it out for both of you.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Yes. Yes. Because tell the story, honey.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And then what did I suggest? She said, well, let's go clean out the garage. Do you want to do that with me? That sounds like fun. And I said, that is not fun. You got really upset, actually. I was like, what are you talking about? Like, no, that's a chore with an outcome that'll make you feel good. But surely it's not fun.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Okay, so I know that everybody's going to have their own opinions and definitions in this. But for me personally, fun is the experience of joy. And sometimes that means... you don't know what the outcome is. For me, I grew up competitive. I'm a competitor by nature.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
And so anytime I can weave in some sort of competition, which is why I like walking with you into the grocery store and beating you by one step. That's fun.
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Hi, love. How are you?
We Can Do Hard Things
FUN: What the hell is it and why do we need it? (Best Of)
Okay. So sometimes when I have to do a chore of some sort, I weave in some semblance of fun, some sort of competition so that I can talk myself or fool myself into believing that this could be fun on some level.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. Hello to our wonderful people. Hello, you know. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the listeners.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
That makes sense to me because I'm such an internal person. So I'm always thinking things through. I'm not really in the outside world anyway. I'm internal. So when you come in and with all your noise, it's like you've entered my brain.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah, you've interrupted me. Even though I'm by myself. And not speaking to anyone. You have completely interrupted me. Right. So it's like.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
My brain is involved in your business call. And I do just feel like there's something that insults my soul also about it. Like you really don't see anyone else around you. Right. Like the fact that you like on a plane and then the dude is having a, He's using his outside voice to have a business call.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
He actually believes this is the most important thing, not to him, but to everyone else in this cabin. There's just something that really. Well, it's like vocal manspreading. It's like you're taking vocal manspreading and then it turns into a hostage situation. And we're all in a hostage situation. And you know what else bothers me?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Is that we all have agreed that we will just all be uncomfortable and annoyed. But we won't interrupt the guy who's interrupting all of us. We won't say to him, dude, are you effing kidding me? We just all have to suffer silently. So my category of pet peeve is sound boundaries, which I'm going to now call sound race.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I don't know if I can not be interrupted, but I fully believe that my obsession with quiet is a slice of insanity on this earth that I am living on with other people and machines. Yes, I hear you.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I would love that. I'm not against progress.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And I also would love to have peace and I would love to not be so upset by noise. What do you think, babe? What's your pet peeve? Is it having to hold in sneezes?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yes. I remember the move. I remember we'd all put out our left hand and go touched for the very first time and touch our arms. Oh, we were amazing. And do you remember the faces, their faces? They just were like stone faced, just staring at us. I was like, wow, we are really impressive. They are speechless.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I have to text her in airports sometimes because she's so far ahead of me that I can't.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
She can't hear me. So I have to text her and say, I'm back here. I've stopped for a coffee.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Right. So you're protecting your relationship. That's a very good boundary.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
That's right. It was your self-control problem. You knew what you were getting into. So you're protecting because our family doesn't have any boundaries with things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
No, we just walk into each other's shit and just grab things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Our children walk into our room. They get in our bed. They get out of our bed. They go into our closet. They go through our... I've never ever taught... stuff boundaries.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Abby has cool clothes. So, and they fit our kids. So everybody at our, I will look around the dinner table at night and every single person at the table, including Craig, we'll have Abby's shit on.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Do you feel like you still have it? Or have you gone dead inside about it?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
It is one of your things. And it makes perfect sense as the youngest of seven and not going through the slippery slope of loss of dignity with coming in late to parenting.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And you want the things put back.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Where they belong.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Soft rock for all.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yes. Yes. So we are in this year of our Lord 2022. We have decided for us, you do you, but we have decided for us that 2022 so far is the year where we just We're out of Giddy Up. We're out of all. We're all fresh out of Giddy Up. We are no longer Rosie the Riveters. We are no longer full of resilience. We used all that up. And so this is the year where we survived by going largely dead inside.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Don't cook dishes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Right. Okay. So this is your pet peeve, is the bottom of the sink. It's so upsetting to me. Right. I just... want to explain one thing to you that I, I, um, I feel in the house that I have sort of a, a theory of work. Okay. And I call that in my heart and mind, I call it the 90 10. Okay. I start big projects. I do really a lot of things, but I don't, I start them.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I organize, I putter, I do all the things, but I really get tired at the end because Okay. So what I feel like is if I'm starting a project in the house that I can take it to 90%. I can take it to 90%, but then I'm going to leave the extra 10. So like if there's going to be, there's going to be boxes in the hallway. That need to go out to the garage.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Or there's going to be trash bags that need to go out to the trash. Or there's going to be some food at the bottom of the sink. But what I want is for my partner to come look at that 10% and say, well, she did 90%.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Okay, okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Okay, so finishing, not putting in effort is really pisses you off because you also, I would say another of your pet peeves is- When we're watching the sports.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
When someone is not showing their best hustle, she stands up off the couch, gets very close to the television and makes us watch the person over and over and over again. She rewinds, watch, rewinds. That guy, that guy, that guy. Do you see it? Sissy, what do you think? What is your category? If Abby's no hustle, her pet peeve is no hustle. My pet peeve is no yield.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
If you're not yielding auditorially, if you're not yielding on the street, if you're not yielding in spirit, you insult myself.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
It's an army crawl.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
No hustle, no yield. You're no fine. You don't like fine. Don't give sister fine.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Don't give sister fine.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Just the words. Any version of acceptance of mediocrity, of not caring.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Of fineness is your, in any form, is your pet peeve. That's right. Is one of your categories, your categories.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
You know, it's that thing that you see on the interwebs where it's just like people ask you how you are and you just gesture vaguely. Yeah.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Just at everything. So we have, though, figured out that there's one vibe of 2022 that that we can embrace and that might save us. And that is absurdity. Okay. I think that I am like punch drunk and like I'm, I'm dead inside. I don't care about much, but then like my kid falls in the kitchen, like down on the ground. Now that will get me through an entire hour.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah, I get that. What else? Do you have any other ones to see?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Passive aggressive CC. Yes. I have experienced those and I'm sure I have done those. Yes. Yes. Yes.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Actually, I do know that about you. We barely ever watch TV with you because you are trying not to be mediocre. And so I pretend when you're with me that I don't watch TV all day, which is what I actually do. You know, I'm obsessed with reality TV and I've tried to watch it with you, and it's so awful. You can't understand. You can't understand what they're doing.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
You can't accept the housewives for who they are to ask me questions as if any of it's logical. Why is she doing that? Why is she screaming? Why is she behaving that way?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Why does she dress that way? What do you mean why? We don't ask why. The Real Housewives are not to ask why, too. And also, you're not 10, right? Right. Just keep thinking. Just be quiet and keep thinking and just keep reading. You know, like when you read and you just keep reading and you get context.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah. Or even more, you mean, why the hell haven't you? That's what you mean.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
That's interesting. I would say that Yeah, what are yours? I think it's interesting that you have lateness as one of your annoying things. And lateness to me is a pet peeve. Oh, no, it's not.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah, it's very upsetting to me. And I think it's because of my addiction years, because I was so didn't show up for so much. And I disappointed so many people that I'm being late now. It really triggers something.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Well, except that it's also, I have learned from a lot of people that like being supremely annoyed about other people's lateness is actually has a lot of ableism in it. There's a lot of issues related to neurodiversity that lead to lateness. And also that there's a lot of like capitalistic, patriarchal whiteness and like everyone has to be, it's very like. That's right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Cent American and you know, all of that. I actually asked, we pulled our family last night about what is the most annoying things that we do. Yeah. We asked our kids. And I think it's interesting that what you said to me about the most annoying thing about me is how easily annoyed I get. That like actually having so many things that disturb me is the most disturbing thing about me. That's awesome.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah. Because it's like, first of all, just annoying, but there's like a serious thing about it, which I think that probably anybody who lives with somebody with anxiety or deals with the ripple effects of that, which is that it affects the whole family's experience all the time because everyone's feeling like,
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Anything that is silly or nonsensical or absurd is really helping me And that's what we're going to embrace. Okay. So to that end this week, we decided to put out to you. An episode full of joy and love and positivity and absurdity about the things that piss us off.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
in public places, they have to like protect this person or they are now hypersensitive of everyone's volume and everyone's, because this person has rippled their anxiety into the rest of the family. So I think being so easily annoyed is something that Is annoying.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
invisible battle I suppose that is like I'm doing the right thing and also you're doing the right thing and it's just a good thing it's marriage it's like oh here we are again where you're being you and I'm being me and there's nothing we can do about it ever and there's like no there's no point of saying sorry yeah because nobody's freaking changing right like if we love each other madly if we could have we would have for each other no Abby's gonna keep being loud
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And, and surprising. I'm going to keep being ridiculously sensitive about that loudness and surprises. And we're just going to keep staring at each other forever. Just being like, here we are again, you being you, me being me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Can we talk about sneezing?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I am a former preschool and third grade teacher, and I know- That everyone gets taught that we the people, in order to form a less virusy union, freaking put our arms over our mouths when we sneeze as an act of service.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
To be fair. But have you always done that? Or did you before our marriage feel like it was OK just to sneeze out loud in a room?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
No, I just love you so much. I love you too. Thanks. And I know you're going to be Abby and I'm going to be Glennon and sister's going to be sister.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Well, and don't you think that the thing that attracts you to each other is like, I'm sure that one of the things that attracted me to you was your like, living largeness, was your taking up space, was your boldness. And that's what drew me to you. Okay. So what is our next right thing? I don't know. Tell us your pet peeves. Yeah. I want to hear from the pod squad what your pet peeves are.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
So going dead inside as a strategy, full circle, how can we go dead inside about these pet peeves and which ones are in the do better list? Because, um, You know, one of the best things that ever happened to me is when one of my friends gave me a stack of business cards that say nothing but stop talking. And you can go around the airport.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And to the man who's doing the very loud business call, you can just hand him a card that says stop talking. I've never actually done it. Yeah. But they're in my purse. Right. And they feel good. Right. Being there.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
You forgot to mention man spreading on a plane.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I want you to know, PodSquad, that as an act of service for all of us, if someone is manspreading next to me on a plane, I, and perhaps this is a good metaphor for the way that I react to pet peeves. I will put both of my arms on.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
I will, I will spend six hours on a flight spreading out as much as humanly possible so that I am in pain just to prove my point that that dude does not get any of my space. Oh my God. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Let's hear from the opposite of our pet peeves. Our pet loves our pod squatter of the week. Emily.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Oh, that's exactly right, Emily. That's exactly right. And we've talked about that before in terms of whenever we throw those things at people. Oh, she's a superhero. They're superheroes. That's just a way of pandering that is more virtue signaling of the person who's saying it than anything that's beneficial to the person you're saying it about. Mm-hmm.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yes. Yeah. So like instead of a little graphic that says teachers are superheroes and they should be paid a billion dollars, like make a political call that actually... states what teachers need, which is more money, more benefits, better maternity, paternity leave, all of those things that people who are actually humans and not superheroes need. Mm-hmm.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Oh my God, are you listening to that new soft rock station?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And as a former teacher, I will tell you that there was one year when I wanted those things. That was the first year that I taught. And I was so in love with those kids that I did want, you know, your little lollipop doll that you made with your kid's face on it. But just, I think it is a good rule in general to remember as a parent that no one loves your child like you do.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
No one in the whole world. No one, not even their teacher. And if you're considering a gift with your kid's face on it, really for anyone else, Cash instead. And with that, we can do hard things. We'll see you next week. If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do these three things.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
First, can you please follow or subscribe to We Can Do Hard Things? Following the pod helps you because you'll never miss an episode and it helps us because you'll never miss an episode. To do this, just go to the We Can Do Hard Things show page on Apple Podcasts Spotify, Odyssey, or wherever you listen to podcasts. And then just tap the plus sign in the upper right hand corner or click on follow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
This is the most important thing for the pod. While you're there, if you'd be willing to give us a five-star rating and review and share an episode you loved with a friend, we would be so grateful. We appreciate you very much. We Can Do Hard Things is created and hosted by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle in partnership with Odyssey.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Our executive producer is Jenna Wise-Berman, and the show is produced by Lauren LaGrasso, Alison Schott, Dina Kleiner, and Bill Schultz.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah. Well, because... And we also cared about... The reason we didn't say anything or lose our shit before is because we still cared about making it through well. Like, we felt like if there's an end line, we could... We were going to have our moment where it was going to be over and people would look at us and our family and say, wow.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
You were an angel in the house. Like, you just... Good and faithful servant. You have done it.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
But now... We've realized that's not going to happen. We don't even see an end line. So we no longer care what people think of us in our home. We just want to stop hating everybody. So we're going to do what it takes to make the things stop that bother us. It's every woman for themselves in the house now. Everybody for themselves. So today we're talking about... pet peeves. Okay.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
And so a pet peeve, it's something that annoys the hell out of you, but the pet part of it is like, it's particular. You believe at least that it's particular to you. It's something that insults your soul. The Whitman thing, like it deeply insults your own soul, but you're not sure that anyone else's soul is insulted by it. Uh-huh.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yesterday I was driving Emma home from school. Papa, don't preach. He says that he's going to marry me and we can raise a little family. Yes. I mean, so good. I'm so glad you're digging it. What else has come up?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
It's like a talent or like a special gift that's been given just to you to protect your soul by giving you this thing that you hate about the world or other people. Do you feel that's correct about what a pet peeve is?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Okay. So what are, um, like what are pet peeves that are super general to all of us? So get into the specific specifics of ours.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
overuse of literally like it's literally raining cats and dogs it is not it's not in fact literally raining cats and dogs everyone in this house literally does that every four seconds when did literally start was it the kardashians like who did literally to us i don't know literally actually i'm literally falling apart right now like i'm literally my insides are literally on fire
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Who the hell is clipping their nails in public? Okay, so I do think that there's a distinct difference because saying that's my pet peeve, that people give a non-apology, is taking responsibility for something that is actually everyone else's responsibility. Like, that's not a pet peeve. That's just like wisdom, right?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Like we understand it wasn't written down. Like you didn't get a contract that said we, the people in order to form a less disgusting union will not clip our fricking nails in public, but we just thought it was understood. Right. So like dude on the train, sorry, it's just my pet peeve that people don't clip their toenails next to me. Like, no. Do better. Right.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Okay, so... OK, I can talk about some of my my biggest personal pet peeve category. Do you want me to start? Yeah, I can't wait. Well, I think you know what it is.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
No, no, that's not true. All of these things annoyed me long before you. OK, that's good. OK, you just kind of embodied them all. Yeah. No, baby, I'm joking. Okay, so what I have thought about for the last bit in trying to figure out what my pet peeves are is that they have a category. Most of my pet peeves have to do with sound.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
It's like loudness, like people who for no reason Just speak in a voice that is so loud in general. First of all, it's just I don't understand. Like no one's told them that everyone's close and can hear. OK, so general loudness.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Public spaces where people have no auditorial space. Like, I just feel like when we are in public spaces, again, we have gotten this memo about forming a more perfect union where we are going to kind of understand that we're not going to use voices that encroach upon other people's opinions. But you're saying public, you're in public. No. This is a public space.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Okay, well, you know, you're not allowed to scream fire in public. You're not allowed to like, okay, you're not allowed to just walk up to me and smack me. But when you stand next to me with your damn FaceTime or your effing speakerphone and you have a conversation about your business, like your business is the most important thing on earth and you are almost always...
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
a man and you are speaking so freaking loudly next to me it is as if you have auditorially slapped me that's right it's remember the guy that that was noise pollution the guy that you you were having a facetime call in public and he was having a facetime call in public and he was yelling
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Yeah, and he wasn't. And then he stayed. He got louder and louder and louder to prove a point to me.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
How about the people that purposefully... spend extra money to make their cars louder.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
So that I have a freaking heart attack every time their car drives by. It is as if I have to recover. And it's like, did you not get enough attention as a child? Like what? Why?
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Well, because.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
Well, I mean, I think that there are some people who are probably more highly sensitive to noise, right? I'm clearly always been a highly sensitive person. So noise makes me... I mean, you know, when you sneeze or when the doorbell rings, it is as if I have been attacked by enemy fire. I know. My body doesn't know how to... I can break out in a cold sweat. You know that. I know.
We Can Do Hard Things
Pet Peeves: What Do Our Biggest Annoyances Say About Us? (Best Of)
It's terrifying to me.