On today’s episode, we hear about: · A woman whose in-law chronically overshares about her sex life · A dad struggling with being a stay-at-home parent · A parent concerned about her teenage daughter’s romantic relationship Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards 💭 John's Free Guided Meditation 🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth. 🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi. 💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne. 🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights 🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: How do I tell my sister-in-law to stop oversharing about her sex life?
My sister-in-law, she can turn any conversation into how her and my brother were intimate. And it's so uncomfortable. How do I tell her to stop?
You don't like talking about your brother's sex life?
So a little part of me always just felt like maybe I'm a little jealous.
What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show, taking your calls on your marriages, your relationships, your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life. I'm here for you. Here, not for you. I'm here with you. I'll sit here and we'll figure out what's the next right move. I'd love to have you on this show.
If you want to be on the show, give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask, A-S-K. Okay. All right, let's go out to Twin Falls, Idaho, and talk to Sarah with an H. What's up, Sarah?
Hey, John. Thanks for taking my call. I just had a question. My sister-in-law, she can turn any conversation into how her and my brother were intimate, and it's so uncomfortable. How do I tell her to stop?
You don't like talking about your brother's sex life?
You know what? It's so weird. It's really annoying. Okay.
Have you not said, hey, I don't want to talk about my brother's sex life? No. Why?
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Chapter 2: Why is it uncomfortable to hear about family members' intimate lives?
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Hey, Dr. John. Thanks a lot for taking the time to take my call. Heck yeah, man. What's up? So just going to cannonball in, I guess. Let's do it. So I met my wife on a dating app in late 23, and she found out she was pregnant in early 24. Was it yours?
Yes. Okay.
And so August, I am a father of a beautiful baby girl. And so my life kind of changed basically overnight. I went from being single, not really a bachelor, but definitely single, to wife, kids. Oh, so you got married?
Y'all went and got married? We got married, yeah. Okay. Was that a good decision?
I mean, I feel like it was. I feel like she was pretty definitely open. She definitely went full feet in like I did. She was like, yes, I want to do this. I want to continue to build our relationship. Yes, it's going to look different because we're going to be married and we're going to have a kid, but I... I feel like we have enough of a foundation there that we can do that.
That was what she said to me.
Enough of a foundation. We had 60 whole days. We're in. All right. Yeah. Okay. Y'all are in it, dude. So your baby is a year old now?
She's six months. Six months. Okay. She was born August of 24. Okay.
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Chapter 3: What should I do if I feel jealous of my sister-in-law's relationship?
It's just a common thing. It may be for a year, you're playing video games after the house is asleep. And that just may be when that's got to be for you. And that's just part of being a dad and a husband and making a sacrifice. Yeah. Absolutely.
And by the way, I'm been married for 23 years and I still do most of my down the hatch nerd work, like reading journal articles and reading like really deep. I do that at night after the house was asleep. Cause that's when I have an hour of focus and that is not taking away from something else that I also deem important.
Because I don't want to get into a competition between something I love, which is researching mental health nerd stuff, and my family. I love my family more than life itself. And I also have this passion about this other stuff. I love it. And so I don't want ever those things to compete. And so I'm going to do what I got to do during the day. And I'm going to do what I get to do during the day.
And that's be with my loved ones. And then I'm going to carve an hour out at night. And some nights I go to bed because I'm tired. I'm exhausted. And that's okay.
Yeah. And it's just been, it's just been a lot. And I try and power through, you know, I do the normal guy thing, right? Like you've talked about dozens of times, like just power through, like that's, that's our culture now, um, is that we're, that we're expected to do that with little or no, um, you know, thanks or a little, little to no, you know, you know, appreciation.
Um, and I, I've expressed that to her and we've gotten a lot better. I think she's gotten a lot better about expressing that as well. It's just, uh, yeah, it's just a lot sometimes.
Yeah, it's a lot, but dude, both of you give yourself a ton, a metric dump truck, ton of grace. You are trying to become a husband, continue to improve professionally, and to be a new dad, and to be a stay-at-home dad, and to deal with physical limitations all at the same time. You are trying to do an oil change while your car is flying down the highway at 80 miles an hour. That's hard.
You're going to get some oil on you, on the car, and on the ground. Period. Right? Yeah. What I want you and your wife to do is build in natural back to the table moments. That way it doesn't have to be in a huge, like you hear me say this on the show all the time, turn the lights on and turn the music off. You don't have to do that when you build it in.
When every week y'all get together and say, hey, what's our budget for the month? Hey, how are we doing financially? How are we doing? Like, what's our sex life like? Hey, are you hanging in there? I'm wiped. Or she can say, hey, I had six major traumas. I'm fried this weekend. I just need to unplug.
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Chapter 4: How can I communicate boundaries with my sister-in-law?
I know. I'm just playing.
Hey, thanks for being with us for so long, man. That's awesome.
Yeah. So I have a 17-year-old daughter. She's a senior in high school. She's bright. She's kind. She's beautiful. She's generous. She's very smart. And... She's romantic. She has all the feels. She kind of takes after her mother a little bit.
I was going to say, just like you raised her, right?
Uh-huh, uh-huh. And she's got a boyfriend.
Oh, gross.
I know. He's a nice kid, but is not the most motivated. And they are not going to college together. He'll be a couple hours away, so driving distance. But I'm worried that their relationship is going to interfere with her college experience and that she's going to be fixated on him and kind of avoid school or other new relationships at school that are like right in front of her face.
So how do I throw some cold water on this?
I don't think that's going to happen.
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