The Dr. John Delony Show
Struggling to Trust My Wife After Catching Her in a Huge Lie
Wed, 15 Jan 2025
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Chapter 1: What should I do if I suspect my spouse is lying?
I was growing up.
It was good. I had a good childhood. They divorced— once all the kids moved out. Okay.
Which tells me there was stuff going on throughout the whole marriage.
Yeah, for sure. I mean, I remember in childhood kind of telling my friends I wish they would just get divorced because they did argue a good bit.
How did you get your parents' attention?
I don't know. I know I ran away a few times. Not really ran away, but we lived on... A few acres, so I would just run to the woods and hide all day. I don't know. Did you make straight A's growing up? No. Okay. I mean, I was on the A-B honor roll. I did work really, really hard at school. Okay. I think school was harder for me than I ever really realized.
And I was just working really hard to get good grades.
Why did you need to get good grades so badly?
I mean, for sure, we reviewed the report card. It definitely felt like it was expected. And I kind of put a competition on me and my siblings. I was always proud that I was the only one who... Never got an F in college. Okay. I feel like I make everything a competition, really.
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Chapter 2: How can I approach my partner about trust issues?
That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Deloney. All right, let's go out to Sydney, Australia and talk to Abby. Hey, Abby, what's up? Hi, how are you doing, Dr. John? I'm doing okay. How about you?
No, thanks for having me, man. I was just wondering, how do I best address my friends' harmful patterns without making them feel abandoned?
I know it's a bit of a loaded one. Yeah, tell me about it.
So I've had this friend for a long time now. It's nearly been 20 years. And I care about them deeply. They're one of my closest friends, but unfortunately... They've had a lot going on through their life and every couple of years it's almost like clockwork.
They fall into a deep depression and I'm always there for them, which I always will be, but it's getting to a point now where the self-harm and the destructive behaviors are just... The repetition, it's a lot to not see... them trying to help themselves in any way. And I don't know how to... Tell me about self-harm.
What kind of self-harm?
So, self-harm in the sense of, like, with medications and with physical self-harm, like with blades and stuff, too.
Cutting, okay. When you say medications, are these suicide attempts?
I'd say yes with the medication. With the cutting, not so much because it's not in the right way, I guess you could say. I think the self-harm in the cutting is more of a trying to feel something different than their own mental health problems for a moment, which is really sad.
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