394. Dylan Mulvaney On the Hardest Thing She’s Ever Done Actress, singer, and creator of the viral TikTok series 'Days of Girlhood,' Dylan Mulvaney, shares her story of coming out as trans and all the turns her career has taken since. -The truth behind Beergate and where she’s at with it now -Why Glennon relates to Dylan’s experience so much -How to rediscover and appreciate joy after a dark night of the soul On Dylan: Dylan Mulvaney is a trans actress, comic, and creator of the viral TikTok series “Days of Girlhood,” which received more than one billion views across all platforms. Dylan has been featured on the Forbes 30 Under 30 List, received a Woman of the Year by Attitude magazine, honored on the Out100 List, and has received a ThemNow Award and a Webby Special Achievement Award Dylan attended the University of Cincinnati College-Conservatory of Music and played Elder White in The Book of Mormon. She now lives in LA, where she works to bring trans stories to the mainstream. Her debut book, PAPER DOLL: NOTES FROM A LATE BLOOMER, (the date marks Dylan’s third year of girlhood), is available now. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who is Dylan Mulvaney and what is her background?
Dylan Mulvaney is a trans actress, comic, and creator of the viral TikTok series Days of Girlhood, which received more than 1 billion views across all platforms. Dylan has been featured on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, received a Woman of the Year by Attitude magazine, honored on the Out 100 list, and has received a Them Now award and a Webby Special Achievement award.
Dylan attended the University of Cincinnati College Conservatory of Music and played Elder White in The Book of Mormon. She now lives in L.A. where she works to bring trans stories to the mainstream. Her debut book, Paper Doll, Notes from a Late Bloomer, is available now. Honey bunny!
Hi!
Chapter 2: What is Dylan Mulvaney's experience with sleep tape and sleep challenges?
Hi! Hi honey, how are you? Hi, everyone. I'm in bed. But I figured if there was any podcast that I could do from this bed, it would be this one.
Yes.
It's perfection. Well, I didn't sleep very well last night because I'm trying to sleep tape. Have you seen this on the it's kind of everywhere right now?
What is it?
It's like it keeps your mouth shut, which is good because I always want to go.
Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay. I'm from Gen X. So when you say sleep tape, I think it's going to be like a cassette tape with some sleep music.
You're going to have to explain what a cassette tape is to Dylan. Yes.
I do like retro things, but I'm not in my cassette era yet. No, but this sleep tape, I think I got it. I'm kind of of the camp where I think if I get one thing, it's going to change my entire life and everything will be fixed. So I bought this because, you know, they said it snatches your jaw and you get the best night's sleep of your life. I have like insomnia.
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Chapter 3: How did Dylan Mulvaney's viral TikTok series 'Days of Girlhood' begin?
I don't know why I thought that putting a piece of duct tape on my mouth was going to like get me 12 hours. And then what also confuses me about this one is there's a hole in it. And I feel like isn't that defeat the purpose? So I started eating these like hot chips last night through the hole. And then I had to take it off to brush my teeth. So I was a little tired this morning.
So I had my morning Dr. Pepper. And then I said, I don't think they're going to judge me for being in bed.
Never.
It's my favorite place in the entire world. I like to do everything in here. I eat. I write. I talk to you. And I just think we're about to have the best hour of our lives.
Yes. Dylan, Abby and I live in bed. And we think of it as like a sleep-in. It's like we're John and Yoko. And we also, we take office hours in our bedroom. So if the children need to talk to us, they know to come in and stand at the foot of the bed and we will receive them there.
It's very... They present their case.
Yes. Yes.
Oh my God. And Amanda, I'm so excited to finally talk to you because Glennon so graciously did my podcast and the theme was sisterhood. And we talked a lot about what that meant to both of us. And I got to hear so much about you and I just kind of knew that we were already going to love each other. And Abby, I grew up at that Catholic church too. I was listening to the
Melissa McCarthy episode and was like, yep, can relate. I had a similar sort of nun experience where she said that animals don't go to heaven. And I said, you're wrong. And that got me grounded for like two weeks or so.
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Chapter 4: What role did TikTok play in Dylan Mulvaney's career and identity journey?
I feel like that all the time. You looked good, honey. Thank you.
Thank you. I agree. We could do hard things. Dylan, tell our pod squad for those who don't know you. All two of them. For the two people who don't know you, can you? Well, actually, I mean, there's a lot of Gen Xer moms on this thing who maybe don't like this. And the good news is Dylan loves moms. Dylan is.
Moms are my favorite people in the world. Right. And if I could just be around moms all the time, that's would be preferred. Hello to the moms. So if I'm just meeting you on this podcast, hello. I love you. My name is Dylan Mulvaney. My pronouns are she, they. I am a cringe musical theater girl from San Diego, California. And I am a proud trans woman.
And I'm just trying to figure it out like the rest of us. And generally pretty chill. happy when you know the world isn't throwing too much bullshit my way but I think ultimately I'm a musical theater girl at heart and I love the color pink and I love to be in my bed which I'm in right now there you go you've already won them all over Dylan
Tell them how so like how my kids met you was during your and a lot of what your book is. I think right now you're three years, three years of girlhood for you.
But this is yes. So the book is out March 11th. And that is my three year anniversary of sort of my days of girlhood series, which was a very happy accident. I was doing stand up comedy in L.A., Because I used to be... Well, I still am a Broadway performer. But when COVID shut all the Broadway shows down, I was doing Book of Mormon, the musical, and I was touring it.
And I knew that theater was going to be the last thing to come back because we're all sitting in a theater. So I moved to LA. I started doing stand-up. And I was driving around town, you know, to do comedy for 12 people that weren't even interested in listening. And then I started posting on TikTok these videos of telling the same jokes. And all of a sudden...
you know, you've got 50,000 people watching instead of 12 people. And I said, wow, this is a lot less driving. But then I was coming out as a, well, I've come out a few times in my life. And I think that was the last one on March 11th of 2022, maybe now. And I was like, God, this is so embarrassing. Like it's so millennial core to be like making these like
crazy heartfelt coming out videos and because I had you know came out as gay well I came out to my mom when I was four as a girl and that didn't necessarily work out quite yet so I was like well I guess being gay is the next best thing so I very much was like this little twink running about San Diego doing musicals and that was kind of my safe place and I remember I
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Chapter 5: How did social media influence Dylan Mulvaney's transition?
I was a brand new, fresh trans person kind of trying to figure it out. And I think that was what was really beautiful about it was to let people in on that experience with me. And that's what's so crazy going back to your kids. I'm on that millennial cusp. So I can't believe that, you know, Gen Z really took to me and they supported me. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so cringe. Wait.
And I think it's just because, you know, growing up, I didn't have a lot of people to watch. Like if I had maybe more trans people to see on television or, in the media, I think that it would have unlocked something for me a lot earlier. And it's so sad that it's still so limited, the sort of the trans visibility of it all. But yeah, TikTok was this thing that, that blew me up.
And, and then I, I've been trying to navigate that ever since it's been three years, which is crazy.
Can I ask one question about, did you just say that you didn't know a trans person before your transition?
I did not. The first... trans non-binary person I met was ER Fightmaster, who was like the first non-binary doctor on Grey's Anatomy and is now one of like my bestest friends. And we were doing, um, it was like a UCB show for, it was comedy. And I was during Book of Mormon in LA. And I remember looking at this person and being like, what's going on here?
And I was like, your name's Fightmaster, which I was like, that's fucking awesome. Can I curse? Yes. Um, okay. Thank God. And I, I was like, there's something about this human that is so in their power and is so confident and beautiful and funny. That was giving me permission. You know, this is someone who leans on the masculine side of things. And I was like, but I see myself in this person.
Mm-hmm. And then I had a classmate, Elle Duran, who we went to college together at the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music, which was not a very, I think it's a lot has changed, but it wasn't at the time very open to boys leaning into femininity. And I watched her start to make videos on her transness during the pandemic. And I was like, wait, this is someone I like went to school with.
And we had this past life together. And so I do think seeing other people live their life so authentically does unlock something, you know, whether it's about gender or sexuality or whatever that might be. And that's really what social media kind of did for me during that time.
That's why it's so confusing about is it good? Is it bad? I mean, it did that for me too. It connected me with so many people. And, you know, I see the bad of it. I really do. I'm a mom of three teenagers. I see what it can do by making their vision smaller.
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Chapter 6: What is Beergate and how did it affect Dylan Mulvaney?
And this can't happen to other people. And why that was such a hard decision was, A, I was like, I don't want to hurt this brand. I don't want to make things worse for anyone involved. I was such a people pleaser. And that became even to the corporate level. And then B, you know, my team behind me that works with me, they did not think that fueling the fire was a good idea of me speaking on this.
But it sat on my chest like an elephant.
Mm-hmm.
and I write about this in the book, the way that kind of my creativity works in the way that I share, especially online is like, if I need to say something and I can't say it, I can't make anything else. That's the only thing that's playing over and over in my mind. So for two months, I sat in this bed, which was once like my sanctuary and then became this kind of hellscape with
people outside and being followed. And I felt so small, but there was this little sliver of a fight left in me. And I remember I'd waited two months and it still had not gotten better. And this was the beginning or no, this is even the end of pride month. Like we had made it through pride and pride was so bleak that year still is very awkward.
I was like, I owe it to all of these people that followed me and that loved me and that have supported me. I owe it to them. And I thought a lot about the young people following me and setting an example of the internet. We talk about how negative it can be. And I knew that there were trans teens and young people seeing all these hate videos and reading those comments.
And I was like, I need to show them that... I'm stronger than this and that this isn't okay and that I might not be okay right now, but I need them to know that we can't allow this to be a thing. And I felt really responsible because up until that point, I didn't know that what I was posting and what... my general moves were could affect the rest of the trans community in a big way.
I realized that I became this poster child for the far right and for these extremists. And they were taking every word I said, combed through with this, you know, just the finest comb possible and taking anything out of context to use it against me.
Hmm.
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