We sat down with Rebecca Zamolo and Matt Slays to talk about the side of motherhood that doesn’t get shared enough. From choosing IVF to ultimately turning to surrogacy, Rebecca opens up about the emotional toll of trying to grow her family—and how she knew surrogacy was the right next step. We also talk about moving in with your boyfriend, postpartum hair loss, and what it’s really like waiting on a positive pregnancy test. BetterHelp: Visit https://BetterHelp.com/unplannedpodcast today to get 10% off your first month. Bobbie: Visit https://hibobbie.com for an additional 10% off your purchase with code UNPLANNED. Harrys: Try Harry’s wash today for just $8 at https://harrys.com/unplanned Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: How did Rebecca Zamolo decide on surrogacy?
With a surrogate, you're trusting someone with your child, and you don't know what they're doing, and you can only control to a certain point.
The second miscarriage hit us like a week, week and a half.
It was really hard. Oh, that, yeah. Because we thought we were just like in the clear. The reason I chose IVF was because I had been sick for a long time. I had ulcerative colitis for eight years. So my 20s, I spent most of it in a hospital at least once a month. I knew I would not be able to have a girl if this didn't work. So we put in a boy as well. He was strong, and she was strong.
was weak and I lost one. Everyone thought that we lost the girl.
We're about to find out if Matt and Abby are pregnant.
Wait, this is wet.
You know what's on that stick, right?
Matt and Rebecca, welcome to Unplanned.
Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for having us.
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Chapter 2: What was Rebecca's experience with IVF?
You guys are a power couple. You both have accomplished so much on YouTube. Your viewership, your subscriber count, it's incredible. I mean, the views are in the billions. The numbers are just like even too hard to fathom. But my question is, how did this relationship, how did this whole empire come to be in the very beginning? Okay.
Rebecca was a professional cheerleader in the Bay Area and I was in a boy band and we were shooting a music video for TRL and she was one of the five cheerleaders casted for the video.
Back when MTV had music videos and you had TRL. Like, this is a long time ago. How long way before? I mean, I was 19 then. So it's been like, it's forever. I was a teenager when we met. But you guys were even younger. No, don't bring up the photo.
You got a picture.
This is sweet. I love young love. You guys were way younger than us when you met. We were in 8th grade.
But still 19 though. That's so cute. That's so sweet.
You totally look like you were in a boy band yeah yeah he had weird makeup in that for the shoot he was in like a white room that's so fun yeah so who made the first move who did make the first move well i think i probably me because he never had no no i i made the first move and then i made the first move again that night i think was like i called her again that night which was like a big mistake
Yeah, true. It's a big mistake to call twice. Well, he called the same day he got my number, like three hours later. And I was like, wow, he's aggressive. And then he called again that night. And I was like, wow.
I don't remember that part.
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Chapter 3: How did Rebecca and Matt's relationship begin?
And then also moving somewhere where you both know no one, you just have each other. That just like you being that support system for each other, like.
that makes sense where you guys have been together now for how many years has it been now it's been like almost 20 i think wow congrats you guys i don't know the exact we stopped counting we're like you know what we're just gonna start from marriage but for a very long time that's awesome i think for us it's important too that we each have our own own thing or our independence um
Like I'm very independent. He is too. So our worlds do collide now. But especially in the beginning, it was like we needed to have our own things too. So we weren't codependent, I would say.
What are those independent things that you still, you know, keep time for on your own?
I run, so I always run in the morning. I do that or I get out somehow. You just run outside? Yeah, I just run. I run for about an hour. I just have to do that. A one-hour run? Yeah.
Oh, my goodness.
It's like meditative. It's where I can like think and like I used to like train and track and run a lot. I do it more for clearing my head. So I get like one hour and, you know, going out with friends. Like if there's girls trips or I don't really do trips, but like day events.
um just those kinds of things i think are really important i just want to go back to the running for one second i'm trying to understand running for an hour because i so want to but i just can't so do you like wake up early and like go like before i run before zadie wakes up okay so that's like i have to be done by eight because that's when she wakes up okay
She wakes up a little earlier now because of school. So I've been like a little more lenient. Now I see her a little later. But I used to like for the first at least two years, I was there when she woke up. So I always made sure I'd be back in time. Yeah, it's early. It's early mornings. But it sounds like you guys have early mornings too.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges of moving in together?
So you said earlier you had done IVF. So you knew that that was going to be... You still had embryos? Yeah. So then did you get to decide if you were going to have a boy or a girl? Yeah. Oh, wow. So here... Yes. Yes, you can. You can do that with IVF. Okay.
There's different things that I wasn't made aware of that can up your chances. There's a thing called spinning. So our problem was we wanted girl eggs and we had a lot of boy eggs. So we did multiple rounds to try to get good quality girl eggs. They're also all rated. So there's like a day one or a day five. Like a day five is a good egg, a strong.
Like think of a weak egg, okay, and then a good or great egg. Interesting. So we were having troubles with that. And so I had put all girl eggs in, I'd put, four eggs, female eggs, and they'd been unsuccessful. I only had one left.
And so... Yeah, the first two tries.
This is the first with Zadie. Yes, the first try we did two. Before Zadie, with the miscarriages I had, I just was unsuccessful.
Yeah, so basically they put in two eggs, both girls, and the strongest eggs that we had. And then unfortunately just... It didn't work. Yeah, we weren't planned out, I think, on that. And then the second miscarriage hit us like a week. What was it?
week 10 or week nine it was it was really hard like that because we thought there was multiple but also when you have two you lose one so when you lose one there's a lot of like that's also hard because you know you lost it you know it didn't make it and and so there's like double if you put two in um so for the the one with zadie we put in she was our last week female egg and
and so we put in a boy as well because I knew I wanted to get pregnant and I just wanted to be pregnant at this point but I knew I would not be able to have a girl if this didn't work and he was strong and she was weak so it was just like, you know what? At this point, I'm like putting this in God's hands because, you know. And so I lost one. And so it's like you see that you lost it.
And so everyone thought that we lost the girl. So I had to, in my head, just know that I probably wasn't going to have a girl. We were like, you know, we can look into adoption. There's other ways to have a girl. But I really didn't want to be upset because I wasn't upset about having a boy. I was upset that I wouldn't be able to have a girl.
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