Co-host (unnamed)
Appearances
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
You got to finish it, man. You got to ask for the second date.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
It's a friend date.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
I like you. This isn't grease. I love you.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
You should hang out with Zach Moore.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Definitely no date with them.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Why is there a... I don't want to know.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Mechanical bull?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Oh, really? Hey, that's good.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Or he puts his hair up in pigtails and gets the skirt on and is all about it.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
So you lassoed him up. That's cool.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Second date update.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Why are they always out of order?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
That's a good lesson, Mom.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
Are you just wasted every weekend? Do you not remember? Yeah.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
It's been a pleasure.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
You almost finished that.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classic: Cowboy Confusion
It does make sense to you? What makes sense? Jeff, explain.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Yeah, bro. Yeah. I want to ask you this, man. And I don't know if you want to go into the story, but I'm going to say this and you make the decision here. Right. But like you, you had an experience where you came to this realization, man, that you were swimming against the river. Yeah, you know I'm saying yeah, and like you said me most people don't get that.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Yeah ever Yeah, but like you gotta you gotta like live in that.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
I love it. Guys, Andy, let's do our third and final question. Question number three. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Andy, I'm taking major action this year on changing the culture of our company as it is currently toxic. I have constant turnover in my CSR position. I know it's because of the culture. My questions are two parts.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
One, how do you transform the culture of a company when bad habits are in place? I'm not tolerating the behavior I've been accepting for so long now by standing firm and putting action behind my words, by writing employees up, letting people go if they don't adopt new behaviors to work as a team. But is there anything specific that you would suggest?
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
And then the second question, second part is what's the best advice you can give on how to replicate myself? I am drowning in the weeds and can't seem to find the person with a work ethic to fit the standards I need for the job. I know the interview process is everything, so I've been developing my interviewing skills. But do you have any advice on that topic?
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
This show has been on repeat as I've learned so much. Thank you. God bless.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
I want to clarify this too. What you're saying is you can set all the standards you want. You can make them look nice in the lobby and all of that. And you can fire as many people that don't hold themselves to that. But none of that shit will matter if you as the owner operator are not holding this.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
At least once a month.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
It was just cool. Dude, that dude's built some shit, man. He's built some shit. You know what I'm saying? Like seeing that trade being taught to those kids by a dude who's taken that skill.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Well, I got three good ones for you.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Guys, I need a question. Number one. Andy, I grew up avoiding conflict and difficult conversations because they made me uncomfortable. Now, as a team leader, I realize this habit is holding me back from addressing problems directly. How can I build the fortitude to tackle through conversations without fear or avoidance? What do we got on this?
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Yeah, for sure. I think a lot of it is, like you said, they put too much pressure on what the other person is going to think. And I've been in those situations. You bring it up, it's like, oh.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
I've also heard you two say this, and I don't know if it applies to this, but I've seen you do this in action where you focus on just the intent.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
100 percent, man. I think the other cool like I mean, we talk about reasons why people have problems with this situation, too. And, you know, we got to put some onus on the person trying to have this conversation. If you ain't got your shit together. It's kind of hard to have a difficult conversation about somebody else that ain't got their shit together. Yeah. Right.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Like I think you said before, like you got to hold yourself accountable to hold anybody else accountable. Yeah. And so, I mean, I think that I feel like that might be another reason where like, you know, the reason you don't want to have the conversation because, you know, your shit ain't right.
Giggly Squad
Giggling about morning anxiety, childhood pets, and european bangs
Let's get to question number two. Andy, I'm a 45-year-old teacher who loves my work. But after two decades, I'm realizing I've neglected my personal aspirations outside the classroom. I used to dream of writing a novel, but now it feels like too much time has passed and I don't know if I still have it in me. How do I reignite that passion and give myself permission to dream again? Start now.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
I guess that's what you're saying. You gotta be careful. Have the data so it doesn't just come off as ego. Yeah. Well, it does come off as ego if you come in there without the data.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Actually, I want to bring this up too, because they mentioned, you talk a lot about the self-improvement aspect, right? And it's like, I remember a coach used to tell me, practice, you don't just show up to game day and miss your practices and think you're going to fucking perform. And when they told this person that, oh, just keep doing what you're doing, you have no items for improvement.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
I think that's bullshit, but why do you look at that? I find a hard time believing people are telling their employees. I'm going to tell you this, dude.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Yeah. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, let's keep this moving. We got question number two. You know, we were talking about some storms and tornadoes and shit before we started recording. And this question, you know, we talk about before a tornado happens, it gets real calm before the fucking storm. So that's why this question is centered around. Guys, Andy, question number two.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Andy, I've always admired people who stay calm and focused under pressure. but I tend to panic and second guess myself when things go wrong. What can I do to develop more grit and keep my composure in stressful situations? Are you a calm before the storm guy? What do you think? There's no doubt.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
What's going on, Yokeness? Yeah, I'm getting there. Yeah. Getting back. Yeah, man. No, it's a great day, man. We got some good questions here. Really? Yeah. I mean, I think so. To be determined. So what do you got? I got three good ones for you. That's what I thought. Yeah. I got three good ones for you, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
100%.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
100%.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
I love it, man. I love it. Well, guys. Andy, that's a hell of a way to start a Monday, man. Yeah. All right, guys. We'll see you tomorrow. Don't be a hoe. Share the show.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
You know what I mean? 100%, man. Well, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. So let's make some people rebellious today. Yeah, let's do it. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I'm not even sure where to begin with this question, but I'm looking for your opinion on my situation.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
I recently received my yearly performance review, which I met or exceeded all expectations, was a top performer with top quality results. And all year long, my manager told me, quote, I have no items for improvement. Just keep up the great work. Overall, it was a great review.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
However, when discussing the merit increase that is supposed to be based on the performance review, he gave me a 0% increase. To say I was am disappointed in this is an understatement, especially when his reasoning is that he wants to give others on the team more in order to raise their salaries, as I currently make more than them, supposedly.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Truthfully, I don't believe anyone else's salary is my business, nor do I believe I should be penalized for something that has nothing to do with me. I had an incredible year and I feel I deserved a matching merit increase. It should be noted that this is our only opportunity per year to earn an increase. So two questions for you, Andy. If you were in my situation, what would you do?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
And then as a business owner, what are your thoughts on this? And would you ever do this to your top performer? Thank you in advance for your insight. Entrepreneurs, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Sounds simple, yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Emotions.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
So that sounds like bullshit. If anything, give them the money. They'll see that and they get more productive when they fucking quit. Absolutely.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Do you want to get better or not?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
I think you hit on something. Is it true? Huh? I think the part where you said, is it true, though? Like, is the criticism true?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
It almost makes me think too, because like on the other hand, you know, you have people that will not tell you what's wrong or not tell you the truth and tell you everything's okay.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
I was going to ask you, that's the same thing with not taking criticism. It sounds like it's boiling down to just being an ego issue.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah, I love it, man Well guys, we got we got question number three got one more for you This is an interesting question, let's check this one out guys any question number three and I'm 27 years old and My question is very simple Does it get easier? I understand that it's life, right? You get the crap beat out of you a few times, but does it get easier? And if it does, then when?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
And if it doesn't, how do so many people make it look easy? I appreciate everything you do.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah, bro.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
What's up, dude? What's going on, man? Dude, I feel like time's moving quick. We're already halfway through the first month of the year. Bro, I feel like the opposite.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah. Isn't that so weird? I mean, is that the whole times relative thing, man? I don't know. I feel like it's speeding past. Like, we're already almost done with this month. It's crazy. I don't know, man. I feel the opposite.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
On how to do it?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Last thing I want to hit on, man, maybe this might be for another episode. You know, but this last piece of the question, too, I was just sitting here thinking, like, why do so many people make it look easy? That's the other part, too, with the social media shit, man, is that you got to keep in mind you're seeing what people want you to see. Correct.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
No, I was just thinking, I mean, because halfway through the first month, January is always an interesting time for a lot of people. And so I got some really awesome questions for you. But they're all kind of just focused on, you know, The more personal side, you know, because people are battling some issues going halfway through. It's always right around this time, I guess. Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Halfway through the first month, like, all right, well, we'll just try it next year.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah, man. Well, let's do it then. Let's get into some real hard truths that need to be discussed. A lot of people going through some different things. So let's get into these questions, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy. I've been working in hospitality for over a decade. I'm burned out and ready for a change.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
I've always been interested in graphic design and even took some courses online during the pandemic, but I have no formal experience in the field. At 38, I feel like it's too late to start over, especially with financial pressures. How do I pivot into a completely new career without starting from scratch or risking my stability?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Yeah, people don't want to sleep on a piss-stained mattress.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
I want to I want to bring up because uh, and you hit on this about, you know using the the spare time To develop yourself and i've actually seen this in play Uh with you and how you run your company So you tell your employees that all the time like you're not going to get better At the nine and five, nine to five. That's right. You know what I'm saying?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Cause let's, let's talk, let's go a little bit more deeper into that. Like how, what's the, what's the hangup with that? Why do people not understand that concept?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Last thing I want to hit on with this question, too. This person is 38 years old. Can we talk about this concept of starting too late? Is it too late? Is there like a definite?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
I love it, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
829. Q&AF: Is It “Too Late” To Start, Taking Constructive Criticism & When Does It Get Easier?
Andy, question number two. Andy. I recently got some feedback at work that I came across as defensive during a team meeting. I didn't realize how much criticism bothers me until I started reflecting on it. I want to learn to accept constructive feedback without taking it personally, but it's hard to not feel attacked. How can I shift my mindset and see criticism as an opportunity to grow?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I love it, man. Yeah. Off of this, this actually leads perfectly into our second question.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Fuck, man. I love it, man. Like I said, this topic, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question. You know, talking about, you know, trying to stay on the path.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
We'll be flipping the coin.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
No, but I mean, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question though, right? Like staying on the path, understanding you're not there yet, right? Question number two, Andy, I'm an ambitious person. I've always had big goals and I'm proud of my work ethic, but lately I feel like I'm always chasing the next achievement without enjoying what I already have.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
What's up, dude? What's going on? You know, I was thinking we got MFCO coming back. And, like, I don't think I ever asked, like, where did the name come from? Like, how did you come up with MFCEO?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I reach a goal and instead of celebrating, I immediately think, what's next? Good. I don't want to lose my drive, but I also don't want to spend my whole life feeling like happiness is always just one step away. How can I find balance between striving for more and actually appreciating the present?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I feel like another thing here, we got to remove a fallacy.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
We got some things to work.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
And I don't know how else to tell you that. I mean, to your point, because I really, I don't want to miss this piece here because I think it's also important, man. We talk about it, you talk about it with anxiety, right? And like this idea of happiness, I want you to dispel this myth. Like people expect or they have this like expectation that they're supposed to be happy all the fucking time. No.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
It's not the case.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Rather win.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I love it, man. Well, guys, let's get to our third and final question. You know, we've been talking about boundaries in the personal development space, like just personal life. And this question is specifically about boundaries in business. So let's get into question number three, guys.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Andy, I'm a freelance graphic designer juggling multiple clients and often find myself working late into the night to meet deadlines. I know I need better boundaries, but I'm worried that saying no will hurt my relationships with clients or impact my income. How can I manage my time better without jeopardizing my work? Boundaries in business.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Yeah, right. No, no, I think that's a fact. Why did you say you bet I wore K-Swiss? What? You said you bet I wore K-Swiss?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
So, yeah, I wanted to actually do this too, because you mentioned like, you know, especially in the beginning stages of a business to have that type of attention and, you know, willingness. But like, bro, I've been with you for five and a half years. You've been in business for 26. I see you still fucking going at 11 o'clock at night. It's not really like a beginning thing.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
yeah what does that mean well i mean you're you know you're a little bit light in the twinkle toes you know what i'm saying you know i'm just saying that's okay no that's cool though um no i accept because like dude like i feel like most people they they're at least maybe it's an old level of thinking but like most people look at business and see it as such this like dry thing and i feel like you know when i see you you don't see that at all you see life you see passion you see dry like you don't really see that a lot i guess
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Guys, Andy, that is a hell of a way to start a Monday, bro. Yeah, guys. Let's get going.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
But business now is a whole different other thing.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Yeah, I love it, man. I call it a little extra sauce right there.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
They know that.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Doesn't exist.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Yeah. I love it. I love it, man. Well, it is Monday, dude. So let's make some people better. Let's make some people better, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I just started punching some holes in drywall, baby. That green one's dangerous. Bro, it's Diet Mountain Dew, dude. Yeah, be careful.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Yeah. Yeah, I get it. That makes sense.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
That's it. That's the way to do it, man. Well, that being said, I got three good ones for you guys. Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy, question number one. It's so good. It is good, man. It's good. Guys, question number one. Hey, Andy. Hope you guys and the team are doing good and kicking ass.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
My question today is, how can I avoid being cocky once I start doing good and on a parallel path to winning? Because I saw a lot of people fall off once they start winning a little or even win once, like Tim Grover says. I've been doing good lately and been making great progress, and I'm going to start getting paid more in the next coming months.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
And I need your advice on how I can manage that, manage my finances and my life on that. I don't want to feel like I'm at the top of the world because of the high testosterone a 20-year-old would have just because I'm doing it, doing good for a couple of months.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
I started 75 hard and started being more focused and I regimented as I can be, but I failed twice because I didn't hit my mark of drinking a gallon of water. Your advice and impact is greatly appreciated and I love what you and your team do because you're really shaping the next generation of men in society. How not to fuck up the path you're trying to go on, Andy. How do you do it?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
I love it, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Let's roll to question number two. Andy, I've always been the nice one. the person who avoids conflict and goes along with whatever makes other people happy. But lately, I've realized that I let people walk all over me, both at work and in my personal life. I struggle to speak up for myself, and when I do, I feel guilty afterwards.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
How can I start setting boundaries and being more assertive without feeling like I'm being selfish? You got like a true, what is this, type B personality here?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
And I think, I think a lot of times too, a lot of people kind of build these monsters up in their head of like what these situations are going to be like right now. Like for this person, you know, I don't know how old he is. He didn't say, but let's say like this has been him his entire life and he's just now having to start setting these boundaries. Can we clear the monsters?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
What would you say the percentage of people that are going to respect him setting these new boundaries for the first time ever, what's it actually going to be versus what he might be thinking in his head?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Right, nobody don't give a shit about you like you give a shit about you.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah, that's real, man. I love it. Well, guys, let's get our third and final question in here. We got question number three. My question for you, Andy, is about business mentors. How do you locate a mentor? For background, I am 25. I run a small, fast-growing business in the auto parts industry. I'm about five years in business. I've started to get this feeling of no man's land.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
I don't necessarily have a business mentor. The closest thing for me is continually listening to your podcast and using the tips and advice to provoke my own thoughts and relate that to where I am day, week, period of time in business. Is there a point in business where you feel it's crucial to have a mentor or is it not necessary? Interested in your thoughts on this.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
What's up, dude? What's going on, man? Nothing. Yeah, we were just talking. I really do think for some reason this daylight savings kicked my ass. Yeah. I don't know why. It's fucking ridiculous. I've been doing it for 30 years, but it's just like this one for some reason. It got me. Bro, I was thinking about this.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
And there's a lot of them on the Internet. Let me ask you this just about, you know, because, I mean, you've been in business 26 years. Well, hold on.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Let me ask you, because you have been in business for 26 years, and I guess my question is more about the evolution of business transparency, we'll call it, right? Has it always been this way where you have these owner-operators, these CEOs that are so willing to show the deal, right? Was it always like that? Because, I mean... I don't know. I mean, you've been in business.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Like we're business owners always so eager to share, you know, the past.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
That's the shit. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like days were longer when I was a little kid, man. You know, like, you know, because we were out to the street lights came on. Yeah. What were you doing? Shit. You know, stuff. Yeah. Stuff. Stuff you can't talk about. Stuff we can't talk about. You know.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Like what kind of games did you guys play when you were kids? Uh, so we had this one game where we would, so like my, where I grew up at, it was an apartment on a hill. I'm being serious. I'm dead ass serious. Um, and so there was like, you know, my apartment, four family flat, there was an alley and then there was this elementary school next to me called gun lock. Okay. Um,
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
And so my friends, you know, because it was on a hill, like we had retained like this massive retaining wall.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
And then the elementary school was their recess yard, which like dropped fucking 30 feet. Yeah. And so what we would do is we would like go up on our porch and usually every day around, like, you know, after school, about an hour after school, we call it the crackhead parade.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
because your crack head off the off the no they would like come by like you throw it off a 30 foot drop no we just throw shit at them oh okay yeah that's the game you play bro and who could hit it and then we would run because they were fast they're all hopped up i'll grow i'm i'm i'm listen that's like 100 that's like 110 octane bro you you're asking me about my childhood i'm telling you what we did we threw shit at crack kids man they run from them
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
You guys didn't play any games, man. No, that was it. That was it. Like, you didn't, like. That was it. Then we, you know, we take, like, our bikes and stuff that we would, you know, get ownership of. And we put, like. Bottles in the back tire.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah, it was a community bike. Yeah. That's why we didn't care. Like, we leave them outside. We didn't care. That's a nice way to say it. Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah. And, you know, put little plastic bottles in the back tire. You know, roll around like a little gang and stuff.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
yeah my friend put it in his front tire once and then like it's kind of the same stuff we did bro yeah it's the same stuff we did it we did the same thing ride our bikes build like a little ramps and shit yeah you know and then uh we played a lot of baseball bro we would mattress flip you ever like do acrobat shit on mattresses that were like you know people threw out in the alley and shit no yeah we did that too well
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Okay, because I've seen it played with tennis balls and they burn them. I've never seen that. Like they torch them and stuff. I don't know. It's weird. It was awesome. Yeah, but I mean, you know, like I said, bro, I mean, cultural differences, it's the same, same.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Today is serious. Yeah, it's a good day. Tomorrow's joke day. So let's get on with it. Holding them all in until tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. I got a lot. Guys, Andy, I got three good ones for you, man. Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, whenever I'm stressed. I numb myself with distractions, scrolling through my phone, porn or drinking.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
I'm fully aware that these things don't actually help, but they're my default. I want to learn healthier ways to handle stress, but I don't know where to start. How do I stop turning to quick fixes and start dealing with stress in a productive way?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Let's let's talk a little bit about stress, right? Because he's mentioned that he does these things when he feels stressed. How do you look at stress? How should people look at stress? Like what's the what's the thing about stress nobody really wants to talk about?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
There it is.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
I mean, is it, is it, I mean, cause I look at like, you know, you talk about that beginning motivation, but even just to get you to that point where you can start worrying about other people, how much good has come out of having a fucking aspiration of that Kuntosh? Bro, a lot. That's I, you know what? Uh, people are like, oh, you just wanted the Kuntosh, bro. That's selfish as fuck.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
You like spaceships now.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
I love it, man. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Hey, Andy, I've listened to nearly every episode since 2017, and I want to thank you for being the main source of my business growth over the years. My question is this, Andy. You've talked on the podcast about severe anxiety before. I'm 24 years old, and for the first time in my life, I've started to have the exact same problem.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Some days it's to the point where I want to stay in bed, take a loss just to be able to function for the rest of the week. With so many depending on me to succeed, I don't want to slow down. In fact, I want to do more. How have you built up your resilience to these issues? And what do you do when that stuff happens now? Talking about anxiety specifically.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Bro, even just thinking about that for a second, like the people who tell you like, oh, you know, you're not supposed to have any anxiety. They're telling you to ignore all of that fucking warning signs to do it, which creates more like, bro, it's so wild.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Love it, man. I love it, guys. Let's get to our third and final question. Question number three. Hi, Andy. I just like how they put their hello. Yeah. Greetings. I love the show and I've been listening to it for years and I've taken so many lessons from it. My business partner and I opened up our practice in December of 2023 and have been collecting north of a hundred thousand dollars a month.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Great growth, but hungry for more with that. We've begun hiring people to help with the day to day operations and tasks. Unfortunately, one employee brings a lot of personal issues to work through her mood, effort with tasks and sometimes messages saying she won't be in to work that day out of the blue. We rely on her to take stress off of our plate when she is there and on point.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
She's the best worker ever. But when she isn't, it frustrates both of us and puts more on our plate. We do the best to lead by example, discuss expectations, but these issues do present. She's our first hire, so we are new to having someone work with us. Any help on what to do? Fire her. Don't give up on her yet. Need some advice.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
I was going to ask you that because I feel like that's like, that also leads into, you know, I guess just emotions in business, right? Like as a operator owner, right? Like how, like how hard was that to have to get your heart out of these emotional, because like, bro, like, yeah, you want to care about people, right? Like how hard is that?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
I love it. I love it, man. Well, guys, Andy, that was three. Yeah. Don't be a hoe. Share the shot.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Well, I mean, I think the coolest piece of it too, man, like outside looking in is like, I mean, you talk about like, you know, that's going to be the interviews and the guests.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Well, you talk about what I'm what I like about it most is like, you know, you've talked about this before, like how business has its cycles and its evolutions and like you're in a new phase of business new to you. Right. Yeah. Being able to apply all the shit that you've learned even.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Most recently.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Well, I got some good ones for you.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
You got three good ones for you. As usual. Let's do it. That's a new one for today, too. The what? Usual. Usual. What? Usual. Usual. Usual.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Guys, Andy, question number one, man. Let's get into these, dude. Andy, I am in college and I'm doing excellent, especially compared to last year. I used to party all week long, was able to maintain good grades. I changed it up and I am 20 years old and I have completed 75 hard back in November for the first time. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since August.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
I'm actively doing 75 hard again and I'm giving it my all. I have aspirations to become a firefighter and a tattoo artist on the side to fill in my days off. But I often feel like I've been spaced out or that I have little to no interest in doing things. I used to dream of cars, houses, solid family. Now I have a hard time focusing on my purpose and my why. Am I doing the things that I am?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
How do you recommend getting that fire back? And is it normal that it will get monotonous? Did you ever lose that fire of what you wanted to get and why you wanted to get it? And how did you get it back? Of course.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
And, and dude, it's, it's just, uh, it's the way it is. Yeah. Let's, let's tie this into materialism. Cause he mentioned like, you know, he had these dreams of cars and houses and stuff. And I know for you it was a Lamborghini Countach, right? Yeah. How important was that for you? Like, I mean, like can we, we talk about motivation, right?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
848. Q&AF: Getting Your Fire Back, Handling Anxiety & Managing Ego In Employees
Like it's hard to like on those days you don't feel like doing shit. I mean, Is that really what you look towards? You know what I'm saying?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah, bro. Yeah. I want to ask you this, man. And I don't know if you want to go into the story, but I'm going to say this and you make the decision here. Right. But like you, you had an experience where you came to this realization, man, that you were swimming against the river. Yeah, you know I'm saying yeah, and like you said me most people don't get that.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah ever Yeah, but like you gotta you gotta like live in that.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
I love it. Guys, Andy, let's do our third and final question. Question number three. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Andy, I'm taking major action this year on changing the culture of our company as it is currently toxic. I have constant turnover in my CSR position. I know it's because of the culture. My questions are two parts.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
One, how do you transform the culture of a company when bad habits are in place? I'm not tolerating the behavior I've been accepting for so long now by standing firm and putting action behind my words, by writing employees up, letting people go if they don't adopt new behaviors to work as a team. But is there anything specific that you would suggest?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
And then the second question, second part is what's the best advice you can give on how to replicate myself? I am drowning in the weeds and can't seem to find the person with a work ethic to fit the standards I need for the job. I know the interview process is everything, so I've been developing my interviewing skills. But do you have any advice on that topic?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
This show has been on repeat as I've learned so much. Thank you. God bless.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
I want to clarify this too. What you're saying is you can set all the standards you want. You can make them look nice in the lobby and all of that. And you can fire as many people that don't hold themselves to that. But none of that shit will matter if you as the owner operator are not holding this.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Show the show.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
At least once a month.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah, it was cool.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
It was just cool. Dude, that dude's built some shit, man. He's built some shit. You know what I'm saying? Like seeing that trade being taught to those kids by a dude who's taken that skill.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah, man.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Well, I got three good ones for you.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Guys, I need a question. Number one. Andy, I grew up avoiding conflict and difficult conversations because they made me uncomfortable. Now, as a team leader, I realize this habit is holding me back from addressing problems directly. How can I build the fortitude to tackle through conversations without fear or avoidance? What do we got on this?
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Yeah, for sure. I think a lot of it is, like you said, they put too much pressure on what the other person is going to think. And I've been in those situations. You bring it up, it's like, oh.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
I've also heard you two say this, and I don't know if it applies to this, but I've seen you do this in action where you focus on just the intent.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
100 percent, man. I think the other cool like I mean, we talk about reasons why people have problems with this situation, too. And, you know, we got to put some onus on the person trying to have this conversation. If you ain't got your shit together. It's kind of hard to have a difficult conversation about somebody else that ain't got their shit together. Yeah. Right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Like I think you said before, like you got to hold yourself accountable to hold anybody else accountable. Yeah. And so, I mean, I think that I feel like that might be another reason where like, you know, the reason you don't want to have the conversation because, you know, your shit ain't right.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
835. Q&AF: How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture
Let's get to question number two. Andy, I'm a 45-year-old teacher who loves my work. But after two decades, I'm realizing I've neglected my personal aspirations outside the classroom. I used to dream of writing a novel, but now it feels like too much time has passed and I don't know if I still have it in me. How do I reignite that passion and give myself permission to dream again? Start now.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Wait, this happened at 1.40 a.m.? Yeah. Wait, so the police rushed there at 1.40 a.m.?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Did Michelle call the police?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
What? Okay...
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
What?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Mm-hmm.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Wait, so are you saying that her stories just keep on changing? Because she said three times, right? Yes. She said, no, David didn't do it or whatever. Like, is it like just...
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
The cousin is.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Okay, so first thing is, seems like all three of them told a different story. Yes. Of the night. Yes. But regardless, just based on three separate stories, they're all charged.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So when you say she's so shocked.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Fabian's the boyfriend. And how old is the boyfriend and the cousin?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
So from 2016... They believe the truth or what happened was Michelle's interrogation. Right. But why did she the cousins start hitting them in the middle of the night if that happened?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Okay, but why is Jessica attacking them in the middle of the night?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
That's crazy.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
That's crazy.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
So you're saying nothing in this tape can be used against her? Like everything she said was being fed? Like everything she said was not true? She didn't know anything? Or what was happening?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
She will call the police.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
I'm really...
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
So what does that mean then? Does that mean we will never find out what happened? Because what a, you know.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Mm-hmm.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Yeah. And also Fabian and Jessica, right? Yes. Like, Somebody. Killed her. Killed her and they dismember the body. Yes. Like that's beyond, you know, like. Yeah.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
I think it just really sucks that you're saying that now, so the case is closed? Yes. It cannot be reinvestigated?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Are you saying that they are going back to the original story from Jessica? Like a stranger came to the house and essayed and killed her?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
But he did also say that he saw Jessica dismembering the body. So I don't know what's going on.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Mm-hmm.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
That is wild.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Wait, but you say Michelle was having, you know, doing it with Fabian after the murder?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
No, they just came down.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Thank you.
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
What?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Is she OK? Is she all right?
Rotten Mango
Mom Confesses To Watching Daughter Get Dismembered & Got Turned On By It - Now Claims False Confession
Wow.
Shawn Ryan Show
#166 Diana Pasulka - Religious History, UFO Phenomena and the Ancient Mysteries of Purgatory
Yeah.
Shawn Ryan Show
#166 Diana Pasulka - Religious History, UFO Phenomena and the Ancient Mysteries of Purgatory
Wow, really?
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
Of course, it's a dumbass talking point, but that's what we expect from the left.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
Thanks, BrickHouse Nutrition.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
Thanks, MyPillow. We appreciate it.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
I just don't want to, you know, I feel bad. You guys, this is your money and your time, but that's pretty cool. I gotta tell you, that's a nice one.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
Yeah. Right. There's a lot of cuts. I like their shirts.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
That is crazy.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
That's enough for me today. Seriously, I'm going to need to take some.
The Dan Bongino Show
Deranged Libs Go All In For Ukraine War and Govt. Corruption (Ep. 2423)
Winky, winky, nod, nod, okay? Thank you very much.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
With slow fade.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know. And you're out of sync.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The Friendship Reset.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What I love about the friendship reset is that it acknowledges that friendships do change. It's not about clinging to the past or forcing something that's no longer working. It's about understanding the natural evolution and learning how to adapt and reconnect.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me too. I think there's so much to unpack when it comes to human connection and personal development. I really do. Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. Or they're just busy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I think it's brilliant. You know, instead of focusing on what the other person is doing or not doing, it's about taking ownership and becoming an active participant in the relationship.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Ooh, the friendship audit. I love this.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I have. I have. It's so insightful. You know, it involved taking a close look at your friendships and asking some honest questions. Do these relationships energize you or drain you? Is there mutual support and reciprocity? Like, are you both putting in the effort?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, I think that's especially true with longstanding friendships. Like we assume that just because we've known someone for a long time that the connection is automatically strong. But friendships, like all relationships, require attention and care.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I think the key is to approach it with curiosity and honesty. You know, it's not about judging your friends or feeling guilty about your own behavior. It's about deigning clarity on the state of your connections and identifying areas where you might want to invest more energy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Yeah, a checkup where you assess the overall health of the friendship and identify any potential areas for improvement.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, and it's a two-way street too. Like, do you feel like you're putting in more effort than you're receiving?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And that's where the next tool comes in this.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Vulnerability scripts.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
They're essentially conversation starters that help you initiate those deeper, more meaningful conversations with your friends.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, absolutely. And, you know, I think a lot of it is we have this idea in our heads of like this idealized version of what friendship should look like, you know, constant communication, shared interests, effortless support. And the reality is it's usually so much messier.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And they can be so helpful in bridging that gap between surface level chitchat and true intimacy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sure. So one example is, I've been missing you lately. Can we find some time to connect one-on-one? Or you could say, I've been feeling a bit disconnected from our friendship. Would you be open to talking about it?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about expressing your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgment.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the goal of this. Let me step right to empower ourselves to take action and rebuild those connections that matter to us.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And it's remembering that true friendships are built on that foundation of vulnerability and trust. When we're willing to open up and share our authentic selves, we create the space for that profound connection and growth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
No, it doesn't. It also includes what are called accountability actions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it's all about putting those intentions into practice and actively nurturing those friendships.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So one really simple but effective strategy is to schedule regular friendship check-ins.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. Put it on the calendar quarterly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Just like you would a work meeting just with a friend.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about prioritizing those relationships and making them a non-negotiable part of your life. And, you know, these check ins don't have to be these elaborate things. It could be a quick phone call, a video chat, grabbing coffee together.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Absolutely. And another accountability action that I find really helpful is the five minute rule.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's so simple, but it can make a huge difference. So basically you dedicate just five minutes each week to reaching out to a friend. And it could be sending a quick verse note, a funny meme, a text message, even just a heart emoji, just something to say, hey, I'm thinking of you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. It's all about showing your friends that you're thinking of them, even when you're busy. And it doesn't have to be this grand gesture. It's the consistency that matters.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's so nice to hear. It just goes to show it's never too late to rebuild a connection.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It can be. And then there's that fear of vulnerability. Like, how much do we share? What if we get hurt? What if the friendship changes? All of those questions can really hold us back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Checklists are great.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So this checklist encourages you to reflect on the depth of your connections and identify areas where you might want to be more open and authentic.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So some questions on there are, what's one thing I've never shared with this friend? Or when did I last express gratitude for this friend?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And it reminds us that true intimacy is built on shared experiences, vulnerability, and the willingness to be seen for who we truly are.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. And that's why the Friendship Reset also includes the Hard Conversation Template.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It can be.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But this template provides a framework for approaching those conversations with respect, empathy, and a desire for resolution.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about communicating your needs and boundaries in a healthy and assertive way while also being open to hearing the other person's perspective.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. Because true friendships can weather storms and sometimes those difficult conversations are what allow us to emerge stronger and more connected on the other side.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We have.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. And what I find so empowering about this framework is that it reminds us that we have agency in our relationships. We don't have to be passive bystanders. We can actively shape our connections and create the kind of friendships that we want in our lives.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's about recognizing that we have the power to initiate connection, vulnerability, and growth in our friendships.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right, like sending that text, scheduling that coffee day, or simply expressing gratitude for the people who enrich our lives.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We have a ton of resources available on our website to support you on your friendship journey.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, we have a downloadable Friendship Reset workbook with all the tools we discussed today as well as a list of all the amazing books that inspired this episode.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, my gosh. Yes. The whole friendship goals phenomenon can be so toxic.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It sets these unrealistic expectations and makes us feel so inadequate when our real life friendships inevitably fall short.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And you're less likely to talk about the challenges that you're having.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Because you don't want to look like you're doing it wrong.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It encourages us to let go of those unrealistic expectations and instead focus on building authentic connections based on mutual respect, shared experiences, and yes, even a little bit of conflict.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. It's about approaching those disagreements with curiosity and a willingness to understand the other person's perspective and recognizing that even the strongest friendships can weather storms.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Mel's story is so powerful and it's a reminder that it's never too late to reconnect, to rebuild and to reignite those friendships that matter to us.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We can't wait to hear about your transformations and the incredible friendships you're building.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP5 | Creating Unshakeable Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And remember, true friendships are worth the effort.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, think about those early days of a friendship. You know, you have those shared routines, inside jokes, constant contact. You know, you're always hanging out. All of that, it actually wires our brains for connection. You know, it's almost like you're on friendship autopilot.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. So it has to do with these things called mirror neurons. And when we engage in, you know, these shared routines and experiences, our brains release those neurons and it creates the sense of effortless connection. Like we're literally on the same wavelength.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. And then on top of that, research shows that stress like literally shrinks our social bandwidth. Like our brains are literally prioritizing survival over socializing. So it's not that we stop caring. It's just that our capacity for maintaining those friendships like decreases.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. Wow. That is a really big number.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I mean, it is true, though, like those big life changes, new jobs, moves, relationships, kids, that kind of stuff. It really shakes things up. It's like we lose the shared language of that friendship almost.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let Them Power Move. You know, at first it sounds a little passive, like doesn't that just let people kind of walk all over us?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
OK, so that makes sense. But how does this like letting go actually look in practice? Right. Like say in a friendship where one person is just constantly negative or like what if there's just like a big geographical distance?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
In those situations, letting go might look like setting boundaries with, you know, like you said, the friend who's super negative or accepting that, you know, distance will naturally change the dynamic of a friendship.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It starts with an honest assessment, like which friendships bring us joy versus which ones feel more like an obligation. Yeah. You know, like do you both invest equally? And once you've identified those friendships you want to rekindle, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable, reach out.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You'd be surprised how often the other person is feeling the same way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's so common.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. Like that five minute rule. Right. Sending little frequent touches like a funny meme or like a quick voice note.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I think we can all relate to that feeling. You know when you're scrolling through your phone and you see that old group chat and you haven't talked to those people in forever? Yeah. It's like a pang of guilt, sadness. A weird feeling. Yeah. It's like those friendships were so alive once and now it's just crickets.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, we do. And there's actually a great three-step process for what we call a friendship reset.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And it's a really tangible way to approach this often overwhelming aspect of adult life. So are you ready for the reset?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. All right, so step one is all about getting real with yourself. You know what I mean? It's taking stock. We're going to map our friendships into those three buckets we've been talking about, the keep, release, and the rebuild. And this takes, like, some real...
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
honesty you know yeah which relationships bring you joy which ones feel draining or like one-sided you know yeah and which ones have maybe faded but you feel like oh there's something there you know some potential yeah so you put that in the rebuild bucket i love that a quick rate for our sponsor and we'll be right back we'll be right back
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay, so step two is where we take action. You know, we're not just going to sit around thinking about it. We're going to commit to one intentional reach out per week to a friend in that rebuild bucket. Okay. And it can be anything. It could be a text, a phone call, you know, a coffee date, a walk in the park, whatever. Just one little step to rekindle that connection.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay. So step three can be the most challenging, but also the most freeing. This is where we're going to try a release exercise for those friendships that are no longer serving us. Okay. And one of the best ways to do that is to write what's called an unsent goodbye letter.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes. It can be so powerful for processing any grief or any lingering feelings.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's just for you. It's a safe space to acknowledge the good times, to maybe express any hurt or disappointment you might be holding onto, and to say goodbye to the friendship. You can process any unresolved feelings, forgive yourself or the other person, and create a sense of closure. And remember, letting go doesn't mean that the friendship wasn't valuable.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, it's just acknowledging that, you know, like we said, seasons change, friendships evolve. Sometimes letting go is the kindest thing you can do for yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And so curious, like why does this happen to like literally everyone and what can we actually do about it? Yeah. So I'm excited to dive into that today.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. So as we wrap up this deep dive, I want to leave everyone with this question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
if friendships are like seasons what season are you in right now and what kind of connections are you ready to cultivate that's such a good question yeah think about it you know maybe pick one faded friendship that you'd like to reconnect with and ask yourself what's one small step i can take this week to reach out
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It could be a text, a phone call, or even just making a mental note to send a quick hello. And you know what? Do it. Take that action. Because you never know what amazing things might happen when you open yourself up to the possibility of reconnection.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Every friendship, no matter how long it lasts, it leaves its mark on our hearts. And that's something worth celebrating.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You can find all sorts of bonus content there, like our friendship detox meditation and our downloadable friendship audit worksheet.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Plus a full list of all the awesome books we've covered in this deep dive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Until next time, keep those connections strong. And remember, you are not alone on this crazy ride we call life.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP4 | The Truth About Adult Friendships | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What did she say?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
She did. Wow. She quit her job. Good for her. Took the leap into freelancing. And within a year, she tripled her income.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know. It's amazing.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me too.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We do.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's scary, but we can do it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I think the most important thing to remember is this. Fairness is a mirror.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a good one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It reflects back to us the areas where we might be abandoning ourselves.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Where we're settling for less than we deserve or silencing our own needs. When we feel that pang of unfairness, it's a signal to check in with ourselves and ask, am I honoring myself in this situation? Am I speaking up for what I need and deserve?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah. I've been there.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You're kidding.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You nailed it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a journey.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Not a destination. There will always be situations in life that feel unfair.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But with the let them plus let me framework, you have a tool to navigate those challenges.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
With grace, resilience, and a healthy dose of self-respect.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, no.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You don't.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Just so many good books.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I feel that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We love doing it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So true.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We can.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's true.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you next time.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Keep it messy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's tough in the moment.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I bet. Yeah, I can only imagine.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. I mean, who wants to pay that price?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, tell me.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Season 2.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Uh-huh.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's powerful, isn't it?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
When you realize that, you know you have the power.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's true.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, definitely not. I think there's like a biological reason why we react so strongly to unfairness.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So from an evolutionary standpoint, fairness was essential for survival within our early human communities.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Think about it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
If resources were unfairly distributed, it could literally mean life or death for some members of the group.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Episode two.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Basically.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it's a gut punch for sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And so when we sense unfairness, our amygdala, which is the part of our brain responsible for threat detection, gets activated. It's like our internal alarm system going off.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We're tackling a truth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So our brain is basically freaking out.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Like we're back in the prehistoric jungle.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That can be tough to swallow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But what does that actually feel like? I mean, how does this amygdala hijack? Yeah. As I've heard it called.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Actually manifest.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, wow. So it can really feel that intense. It can. Even if it's just about, say, a coworker taking credit for your idea.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Life isn't fair. You know, it's interesting how this idea of fairness, or rather the lack of it, really gets under our skin.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a good question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, we can't always control the external circumstances or the actions of others.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We can absolutely learn to manage our own responses.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Instead of getting caught in that amygdala hijack.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. Yeah. And letting it control us. Right. We can learn to engage our prefrontal cortex.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The part of our brain responsible for higher level thinking, decision making, and emotional regulation. Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We do.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's where the let them plus let me framework comes in.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a practical tool that can help you move from feeling stuck and resentful to taking purposeful action.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Essentially, it's about accepting what you can't control and empowering yourself to focus on what you can.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's not just a minor annoyance when things don't go our way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a good one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. So it's all about a two-part process.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Acceptance.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Then empowerment. Got it. The let them part is about detaching from the things we can't control.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We have to accept that we can't force other people to be fair or change their behavior.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It triggers something much deeper.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, you can't control other people.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You just can't.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Your own choices. Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Love it. That's the question, right?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that's exactly what we're unpacking today.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I've been there.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The let them might sound like let them take credit for this project. But then.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let me becomes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let me start documenting my contributions more clearly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Or let me schedule a meeting with my boss to discuss my role on the project. Oh, I like that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Why does the idea of unfairness bother us so much? How does holding on to resentment... actually keep us stuck?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
No, not at all.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Protect yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I've been there too.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Good for you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I like that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Especially friendships.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
For sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like a script almost.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, that's tough.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And most importantly, what can we actually do about it?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
For sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I'm curious.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Good for her.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What did she say?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, the big question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow. It's very powerful.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's such a clear and powerful way to set a boundary.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
While still honoring her own needs.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What happened?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It worked.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Her sister was initially surprised.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But it opened up a conversation that they desperately needed to have.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
They were finally able to discuss their expectations and come up with a more balanced plan for their parents' care. That's awesome. And it actually ended up strengthening their relationship.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a perfect example of how this framework can create positive change.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Not just for yourself, but for your relationships too.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's not about controlling others or forcing them to change.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's good stuff.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Ooh, I love a good framework.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, that's the question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a great question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that's where a little self-reflection comes in handy. We call it the equity audit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a good one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So it's a surprisingly simple exercise.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But don't underestimate its power.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The first step is to carve out some time for yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
grab a journal or a piece of paper and simply ask yourself, where am I tolerating inequality in my life? And don't just think about the big dramatic situations. Sometimes it's the smaller everyday things that can chip away at our sense of fairness over time.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We do that. We normalize things.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Yeah. Maybe it's that friend who always cancels plans at the last minute or a family member who expects you to do all the emotional heavy lifting.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Catchy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Or maybe it's something at work.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Like constantly being asked to cover for others or being overlooked for opportunities.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Once we've identified those areas.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What's the next step?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
How do we start moving from awareness to action?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay. I'm into this.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So, for example.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
No.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You got it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You can.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's always good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
There you go. Problem solved.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Ooh, another one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Love exercises.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Resentment to Action.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a good one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So it's all about taking that resentment, that feeling of it's not fair.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And turning it into a catalyst for positive change.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Step one is to identify a specific situation where you're feeling resentful. Get really clear about what's bothering you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
At some point. Yeah, for sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Write it down. Get it out of your head and onto paper.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Perfect example.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now, step two is where we practice that let them acceptance.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Say to yourself, let them blink.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It really is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
and fill in the blank with the specific action or behavior that's triggering you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
In your case, it might be, let them take all the credit for this project.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Because it's the first step in letting go of that feeling of powerlessness.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
For the empowering part.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Step three. Okay. Say, let me blank.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And fill in the blank with an action step you can take.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So it might be, let me document my contributions more clearly or let me schedule a meeting with my manager to discuss my role on this project.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know, right?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's powerful.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like that resentment is being channeled into something productive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
For sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP2 | Life Isn’t Fair – And That’s Okay | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And as we cultivate those moments of alignment, we start to build a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And what are those decisions, big or small, that you've been putting off out of fear or self-doubt? Maybe it's time to dust off those let them let me scripts and take a step towards your own authentic path.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's been my pleasure. I always enjoy these deep dives into the messy but beautiful world of personal growth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds like a classic clash between what everyone else expects of her and what she truly needs.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You'll find a wealth of information there, exercises, and inspiration to help you navigate your own unique path. We've got a whole library of books we've covered on these topics, journaling prompts, guided meditations, you name it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Until next time, keep embracing the mess, trust your gut, and choose yourself, even when it feels wrong.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that's where the real magic happens.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. And it's fascinating how our interests can often guide us towards our purpose. You know, it's like those activities that light us up often hold clues about who we truly are and what we're meant to do in the world.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. The journey of self-discovery is rarely linear. There are twists and turns, detours and unexpected destinations along the way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
First and foremost, be patient with yourself. Self-discovery is a process, not a destination. It takes time to unravel those layers and connect with your true self. Don't put pressure on yourself to have all the answers right away.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about embracing the messy middle, the ups and downs, the moments of clarity and the periods of confusion. It's all part of the process.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's amazing how a supportive community can make all the difference. Sometimes just having someone to talk to, someone who understands what you're going through can provide immense comfort and encouragement.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that. It's so easy to get caught up in focusing on what we haven't accomplished yet, but it's equally important to acknowledge how far we've come.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it's wild. So there's this part of our brains called the amygdala, which is like our fear center. It's constantly scanning for threats. And when it senses something that could be dangerous, like judgment or disapproval from others, it freaks out. It's like our brain's alarm system is blaring, danger, danger.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like offering yourself a warm hug when you need it most. We're often our own harshest critics, but it's so important to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a dear friend.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's been a joy to dive deep into these topics with you and our listeners. I hope this conversation has provided some valuable insights and inspiration for those who are on their own journeys of self-discovery.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And be sure to connect with us on social media. We love hearing from our listeners and creating a supportive community for those who are embracing the messy but beautiful journey of personal growth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Because the right decision often feels like the wrong one until it sets you free.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. It's like a metaphor for that whole process of self-discovery. You know, it takes time, patience.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. Something that resonated with her on a deeper level.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I'd say first things first. Be patient with yourself. The self-discovery thing. It's a journey, not a race.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know, right? But real growth takes time. Embrace the messiness, the ups and downs, all of it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. Having a support system can make all the difference.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that. Acknowledge how far you've come instead of always focusing on what's still ahead.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Seriously. Treat yourself with the same compassion you'd give a friend going through the same thing.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me too. It's always great to talk about this stuff.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We've got tons of resources there.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And don't forget to connect with us on social media.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We call this an amygdala hijack, and it can seriously cloud our judgment, even when we know deep down that we're making the right choice for ourselves.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So until next time, keep embracing the mess, trust your gut, and choose yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Because sometimes the right decision feels like the wrong one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, wow. Already.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it's crazy, right? And to make matters worse, when we're constantly trying to please everyone else, it can actually suppress activity in our prefrontal cortex.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's basically the part of our brain that's responsible for like logical thinking, reasoning and planning. You know, all the good stuff.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's exactly what I'm saying. And honestly, I think we've all felt that pressure to say yes when every cell in our body is screaming no.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. And you're not alone. There was this fascinating study published in Nature Human Behavior and it found that a whopping 68%. 68%. Yeah. Sixty eight percent of people prioritize others approval over their own needs. So it's incredibly common.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It really is. And sometimes those consequences can be pretty serious. Let me tell you about a case study. I once worked with this nurse, super dedicated to her patients and her team, but she was pushing herself to the point of burnout. Her family was begging her to slow down, take a break. Yeah. But she felt like she couldn't let anyone down. She felt obligated to keep going.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Very catchy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. And ultimately, the pressure she was putting on herself led to a panic attack at work. She had to take a leave of absence anyway.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. And that's why it's so important to find ways to break free from the cycle of people pleasing.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It can be. But there's this powerful framework that can help us reclaim our agency. It's called the let them power move. And it's all about taking back control.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So it's a two step process. The first step is let them let them let them disapprove. Let them guilt trip you. Let them call you selfish. Give yourself permission to release that guilt and just understand that not everyone is going to be happy with your choices.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know, right? But it's about shifting your perspective and realizing that you're not responsible for other people's reactions. You're only responsible for being true to yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's where let me comes in.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Let yourself make the choices that feel right for you, even if they're not what everyone else wants. It's about using clear, assertive language to communicate your decisions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's all about shifting the language. You could say, I understand that this may be disappointing, but this is what I need to do for myself right now. Or I'm not asking permission. I'm sharing my decision. It's about setting those clear boundaries and honoring your own needs.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. And you know, it's especially important for women because we're often conditioned to prioritize harmony.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And avoid conflict.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. But sometimes those difficult conversations are absolutely necessary for our own well-being. And, you know, speaking of taking lips of faith, I'm reminded of this former CEO who left this super toxic corporate environment to open a bakery. Everyone thought she was crazy, but she had this incredible let them think I'm crazy. Let me build my dream attitude.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And she's incredibly successful now, living proof that sometimes those unconventional paths lead to the greatest fulfillment.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that's what this whole conversation is about. Right. How can we start listening to that inner voice and making choices that feel right for us, even when they're scary or unconventional?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So one powerful exercise is to start an intuition journal. It's super simple. Throughout the day, as you make decisions, big or small, pause and ask yourself, did I make this choice from a place of fear or from a place of freedom? Just noticing these patterns can be incredibly insightful.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, that's true. Intuition is often described as a whisper, a deep knowing that's not always easy to articulate. It might be a feeling in your gut, a sense of expansion or contraction, or even a recurring thought that pops up even though you're trying to ignore it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I totally get it. In those moments, I recommend the five-second rule crossover. You've probably heard of the five-second rule for dropped food, right?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, this is different. When you feel that gut instinct to do something and anything count down from five, five, four, three, two, one, and then just do it, don't give your brain time to second guess you or talk you out of it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, all the time.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about acting on impulse before fear takes over.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, absolutely. For those situations, I recommend something called the rescue audit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a powerful question. Ask yourself, am I staying in this situation because I genuinely want to help others or am I doing it to avoid judgment or guilt? It's about being brutally honest with yourself and understanding your motivations.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and the people around us is to set boundaries and prioritize our own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
love that analogy and it brings us back to this idea of self-betrayal right yeah so often when we're constantly people-pleasing the real case is that we end up living a life that's not truly our own yeah we silence our authentic selves trying to meet everyone else's expectations so it's like this if we keep ignoring those whispers of intuition and putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own we risk losing ourselves in the process
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like we're slowly shipping away at our own sense of identity and purpose.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a journey, not a destination. It's not about becoming this perfectly assertive boundary setting machine overnight. It's about taking small steps, practicing those let them let me scripts and building that muscle of self-trust over time.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does. And remember, it's okay to make mistakes along the way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
This isn't about perfection. It's about progress. Being willing to stumble, learn, and course correct as we go.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I know that voice all too well. It can be so loud, right?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But remember, it's just a voice. It doesn't define you. One of the best ways to combat that negative self-talk is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a dear friend.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. It's about shifting from self-criticism to self-support. And as we cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue, we actually start to trust ourselves more deeply.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that's where the real magic happens. When we start living from a place of authenticity and self-trust, we open ourselves up to possibilities we never could have imagined.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And to pursue those dreams without fear of judgment or failure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay, I'm listening.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I would say start small. Pick one decision, even a tiny one, and practice the let them power move. Notice what comes up for you, what fears arise, what limiting beliefs surface.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah, for sure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Embrace the discomfort. It's a sign that you're stretching and expanding.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. We all need cheerleaders along the way. And remember, you are not alone in this journey. There are so many people who are navigating these same challenges and seeking to live more authentically.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me too. It's always a joy to dive deep into these messy but important aspects of personal growth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah. Well, that's where things get really interesting. A lot of people get stuck in that let them phase, you know.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. But Mel, she fully embraced the let me. She took that leap of faith and started exploring her passion.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Paws.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow. That's quite a 180. What did her family think about that?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, I can hear them saying it now.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But Mel stood her ground.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Good for her. She acknowledged their concerns, but she also made it clear that this was her decision, her life.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It really is. And you know what's even more inspiring? She's thriving. Her bakery is a huge success, and she's happier than she's ever been.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like that quiet voice inside is screaming, get me out of here.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that sometimes the scariest decisions lead to the most fulfilling outcomes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Trust your gut. That inner voice is there for a reason.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It might be quiet, but it's guiding you toward your authentic path. And remember, it's a process. Be kind to yourself along the way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams. And remember, you don't have to have all the answers right away. It's a journey of exploration and discovery.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that. And speaking of extraordinary destinations, I'm curious to know more about Mel's bakery. What kind of treats does she bake?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, it turns out that Mel's bakery is known for its incredible sourdough bread.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Really?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. But apparently, Mel had always loved the process of making sourdough. She found it meditative and grounding.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love that connection. It's like she was baking her own transformation into each loaf of bread.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that's what's so beautiful about this whole journey of self-discovery. It's not just about making big life altering decisions. It's also about finding those small everyday practices that bring us joy and connect us to our true selves.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow. Brave.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP1 | Why the Right Decision Feels Wrong | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And those small acts of self-care and self-expression can be just as transformative as any major life change.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, let's say, you know, you're about to have a difficult conversation with someone who tends to be emotionally reactive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Before you go into that conversation, take a few moments to visualize yourself staying calm, centered, and grounded.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And you can even visualize a protective shield around you, deflecting any negativity that comes your way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And the amazing thing about visualization is that our brains often can't distinguish between what's real and what's imagined.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a great question. And that's where individual differences come into play. The intensity of our reactions, even to the same stressor, can vary wildly. Think of it like this. Some people have a hair trigger amygdala, while others have a more laid back security chief.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. It's like giving our subconscious mind a blueprint for how to navigate those challenging situations.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, another technique that can be really helpful is tapping, also known as EFT or emotional freedom technique.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It involves tapping on specific meridian points on the body while focusing on the emotion or thought you want to release.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's like we're sending calming signals to our amygdala, letting it know that it's safe to relax.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
In a way, yes. It's a powerful tool for shifting our energy and releasing stuck emotions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, one of the things I love about Let Them Theory is that it encourages us to be proactive about our mental and emotional well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about creating a life where we feel empowered, grounded, and resilient no matter what challenges come our way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. It's a journey worth taking.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, one of the most important things is to cultivate self-care practices that nourish our mind, body and spirit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about making choices that support our overall well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, getting enough sleep is crucial. When we're sleep deprived, our emotional reserves are depleted, making us more susceptible to stress and reactivity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We've all been there. And nourishing our bodies with healthy foods is also essential. What we eat directly impacts our mood and energy levels.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And let's not forget about movement. Exercise is a fantastic stress reliever and mood booster.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And let's not underestimate the power of spending time in nature.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's true. Being in nature calms our nervous system, reduces stress hormones and boosts our mood.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Factors like genetics, personality, even past experiences, all contribute to how easily our emotional alarms go off.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And let's not forget about nurturing our social connections.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's true. Spending time with loved ones, laughing, sharing stories and feeling connected all contribute to our resilience.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And last but not least, don't be afraid to seek professional support when needed.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. It's a sign of strength and self-awareness to reach out for help when we need it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, it's amazing to think about how all these self-care practices not only boost our individual resilience, but also ripple out into the world around us.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. When we prioritize our own mental and emotional health, we show up as our best selves in all areas of our lives.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like a beautiful chain reaction of positivity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I couldn't agree more. It's about recognizing that we have the power to choose how we respond to the world around us. And that choice can make all the difference.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like we're taking back the reins, you know, of our own emotional experience.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. Think about it. When you choose to stay calm and grounded amidst someone else's tantrum, you're not just benefiting yourself.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. You're demonstrating that it's possible to respond to conflict with grace and composure even when things get heated.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Kids are like little emotional sponges absorbing everything they see and hear from the adults in their lives.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. The CEO punching the wall. It wasn't about the quarterly numbers. Right. It was about his internal state, his unmet needs. Maybe it was fear of failure, exhaustion, feeling unheard. Those unmet needs get amplified in stressful situations, making that amygdala hijack more likely.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We're planting seeds of pieces and understanding that can have a lasting impact.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And, you know, it's not just about the people around us. It's also about the energy we're putting out into the world.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, think about it. When we're constantly reacting to drama and negativity, we're feeding that energy, amplifying it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. But when we choose to stay calm and centered, we're shifting our vibration to a higher frequency.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's like we're becoming magnets for positivity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And the more of us who embody this energy, the brighter our collective light will shine.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a beautiful vision, isn't it?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So let's go out there and be the change we want to see in the world.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And remember, your calm is your superpower.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Beautifully put.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We're constantly adding new content, so be sure to check back often.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Until next time, keep practicing those let them skills.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. And that's where the power of detach and redirect comes in. You can't control someone else's emotions or force their amygdala to chill out, but you can control your own response.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The let them part is about releasing that need to control the other person's outbursts. Let them vent, sulk, send that angry email. It's their storm to weather. Your job isn't to fix it or talk them down.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And then the let me part kicks in. This is where you reclaim your own agency, taking steps to protect your well-being and emotional state.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The first step is often physical or mental detachment. Sometimes that literally means leaving the room.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Other times it's putting on headphones, muting notifications, anything to create space and regain your composer.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about creating a buffer zone so you can respond thoughtfully, not react impulsively.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's where internal detachment becomes key. A simple but powerful tool is the 4-4-4 breath. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four. It might seem basic, but it helps calm your nervous system, shifting you from that reactive fight or flight mode to a more centered state.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
There's no magic spell, unfortunately, but there are some helpful scripts that can de-escalate things. For example, you could say, I hear your frustration. Let's revisit this when we're both calm. Or this feels heated. I'll give you space to process.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. It's about setting boundaries and letting them know that productive communication can happen later when everyone's had a chance to cool off.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. It's about shifting from reaction to strategic response, which is at the heart of the let them theory.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's where understanding the specific scenarios comes into play. Workplace dynamics, relationship challenges, family drama, each requires a slightly different approach, though the core principles remain the same.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The let them is exactly that let them panic. You can't control their anxiety, but you can control your response. Instead of getting swept up in their frenzy, meticulously document your progress and propose a regular check-in schedule.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes. The adult tantrum. It's it is a fascinating contradiction, isn't it? We expect adults to, you know, have a handle on their emotions. Yet sometimes it's like you're dealing with a toddler in a boardroom.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It addresses their need for reassurance without letting their anxiety dictate your every move.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's not about dismissing their concerns, but rather creating a structure that allows you to do your best work without getting bogged down in their emotional turmoil.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The let them here would be to allow them the space to withdraw and process. Everyone coats with conflict differently, and some people need that time to cool off before they can engage constructively.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. The let me here is about focusing on your own well-being, engage in activities you enjoy, connect with friends, anything that helps you feel grounded and centered. It's not about ignoring the issue, but about creating your own emotional oasis instead of getting pulled into their storm.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And it also models healthy behavior. You're showing them that you respect their need for space while also prioritizing your own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
This one can be tough, but the principle remains the same. Let them criticize. You can't change their perspective or control their words. They're entitled to their opinions, even if you disagree.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The key is to not internalize those opinions as truth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is tough. And that's where the let me becomes crucial. Setting a clear boundary is essential. You could say something like, I love you, but I can't have this conversation if you're going to raise your voice or I respect your opinion, but I'm making choices that are right for me.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. You're showing them that you have a different perspective and that you're not willing to be treated with disrespect, even from family.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. It's called the Tantrum Triage Checklist. Think of it as your emergency response kit for emotional outbursts.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
First, pause your reactions. Don't react impulsively. Just take a breath and observe what's happening. Remember that a amygdala hijack can happen to anyone, including you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Next, acknowledge their emotion. You don't have to agree with it, but a simple, I see you're upset can go a long way in diffusing the tension. It validates their feelings without necessarily validating their behavior.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And finally, the redirect. Ask, how can we move forward? Or what would be a helpful next step? This shifts the focus from venting to problem solving.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. It's about establishing that you're willing to engage, but on your terms and in a way that's respectful to both parties.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's healthy skepticism.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let them theory isn't a magic bullet, but it's a powerful framework that helps us navigate those messy situations with more grace and intention.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a classic example of setting boundaries and choosing your battles wisely. It's not about being passive or letting people walk all over you. It's about strategically choosing where to invest your energy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. Imagine your brain as a company. The prefrontal cortex is the thoughtful CEO making strategic decisions. But when stress hits, the amygdala, which is our security chief, senses danger and it can trigger the fight or flight response, sending the whole company into lockdown before the CEO even knows what's happening. That's the amygdala hijack, our emotional reactions taking over.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And sometimes choosing not to engage is the most powerful and self-respecting choice you can make.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. It's about reclaiming our own power and choosing peace over chaos. And it's something we can all learn to do with practice and intention.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Their outburst is their storm. Your calm is your superpower.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that choice is where our true power lies.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a crucial point. Let them theory is not about condoning or enabling abuse. It's about recognizing the difference between a garden variety tantrum and something far more dangerous.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. If you're experiencing abuse, it's essential to seek professional help and prioritize your safety.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
How so?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a compassionate perspective.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I see what you mean. It's like recognizing that their behavior is a reflection of their own inner turmoil, not a personal attack on us.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's almost like saying, I see your pain, but I'm not going to let it define me or dictate my worth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now let's shift gears a bit and talk about the long-term impact of not addressing these adult tantrums. What happens when we consistently allow ourselves to get swept up in other people's emotional storms?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Consistently engaging in those unhealthy patterns can erode our sense of self and create a cycle of negativity that's hard to break free from.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. It's about breaking free from those reactive patterns and choosing to respond in a way that honors our own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's true. And social media often amplifies this negativity, creating echo chambers where people only hear opinions that confirm their existing biases.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that's where let them theory can be so powerful. It's not about agreeing with everyone or condoning harmful behavior, but it's about recognizing that we can't control other people's reactions. We can only control our own.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. We can focus on building bridges, fostering understanding, and having productive conversations with people who might hold different views.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. Let Them Theory isn't just about navigating individual tantrums. It's about creating a more peaceful and understanding world, one interaction at a time.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, one thing that strikes me as particularly powerful about let them theory is that it shifts the focus from blame to responsibility.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, instead of saying you made me angry, we're saying I'm feeling angry and I'm choosing to respond in a way that's healthy for me.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about owning our own emotions and reactions rather than blaming others for them. And that's where true empowerment lies.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that's a much more empowering and liberating place to be.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Great question. We've already touched on the 4-4-4 breath and creating physical or mental space, but there's a whole toolkit of strategies that can help us regulate our nervous systems and stay grounded when someone else is losing it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
One of my favorites is mindfulness meditation.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And it doesn't have to be complicated. Even just a few minutes of focused breathing or body scan meditation can make a huge difference.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. And the more we practice mindfulness, the easier it becomes to access that calm centered state, even in the midst of chaos.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP7 | When Adults Throw Tantrums | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, another technique that I find really helpful is visualization.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
At the same time. Oh no. Yeah. The episode mentions that chronic rescuers have cortisol levels 30% higher than average. Okay. Cortisol is that fight or flight hormone. So essentially you're getting this helper's high while your body is screaming danger.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. That's how twisted the cycle can get.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's where the science of rescuing comes in.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The episode touches on this concept of mirror neuron burnout.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. You know how you cringe when someone stubs their toe?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's those mirror neurons firing, allowing us to empathize.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now imagine Janine's drama playing on repeat in your head.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. So those neurons, they just burn out from overexposure.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
There is a limit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And this is where it gets tricky because it's easier than you'd think to misjudge our help as good. We're wired for connection. So even giving bad help can feel better than doing nothing at all.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, that's where the let them theory comes in. It's about shifting from a mindset of I need to fix this to I need to support your next step. It's about empowering the other person to find their own solutions, even if it means letting them struggle a bit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It can, but the key is to ask ourselves, is my help preventing them from learning and growing? Am I sacrificing my needs for theirs?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
OK.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the kind of shift that the let them theory encourages.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is counterintuitive, but it's about long-term empowerment, not short-term relief. We think we're being helpful, but we might actually be stunting their growth.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's right. We're tackling that age old question. Yeah. Is it even possible to love someone and protect your own well-being?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
More times than I care to admit.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a common human experience, and that's why I think the episode's rescue audit tool is so valuable.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it forces us to be honest with ourselves about our motivations for helping.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Those are tough questions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
They are, but answering those questions is the first step to breaking free from the rescuing cycle.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Those scripts can be so helpful, especially when you're feeling pressured to jump back into rescue mode. They help you stay grounded and communicate your limits clearly and compassionately.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Especially when that person as well. Yeah. Difficult.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's powerful.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, really? You'd think she'd be angry.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, for years.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Really?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
She had to.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And in doing so, she discovered strengths she never knew she had. Wow. Janine talks about how she used to rely on Mel for everything. Oh, wow. From emotional support to practical help.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the beauty of the let them theory. By stepping back, Mel actually gave Janine a gift. The gift of self-reliance.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And it's not just about practical skills. It's about building emotional resilience as well. Janine realized that she was stronger than she thought she was.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. We think we're protecting them from pain, but we might actually be preventing them from developing the skills they need to navigate life's challenges.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's hard.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Of course.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It isn't.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. It's about saying, I trust you to figure this out. Yeah. And I'm here to support you along the way and not I'll take care of everything.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a win win situation.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah. I think we all know a Janine.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah, I love that one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's subtle, but it makes a huge difference.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Or if someone's battling addiction, you might help them research treatment options or find a support group.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, it is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We do. We do. And it's so easy to fall into those rescuing patterns.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But the good news is that we can learn to do things differently. We can choose to love and support the people in our lives without sacrificing our own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The dopamine trap.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What's that?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a subtle line, isn't it? The episode's key takeaway really stuck with me. Rescuing is fear disguised as love.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, so it's like those slot machines in Vegas, you know? That unpredictable reward keeps you pulling that lever, even though, you know, it's bad odds. With rescuing, you get that little hit of dopamine every time you save someone.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
True support empowers others to help themselves.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does. It's not about becoming cold or uncaring. It's about recognizing that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is step back and let the people we care about face their challenges.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And just like those sailors navigating rough seas, those challenges help them develop resilience and resourcefulness.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Precisely. Adversity can be an incredible teacher. And by allowing people to experience those growing pains, we're actually helping them develop into stronger, more capable individuals.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that belief that trust can be incredibly empowering.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And that support might look different than what we're used to.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It might involve having those tough conversations, setting clear boundaries and even letting go of outcomes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is because it's about fostering true independence, not creating dependence.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Me too. It's definitely a journey, not a destination. Right. And there will be bumps along the way.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We are.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. So for those of you who are feeling overwhelmed by the idea of letting go, remember that you don't have to do this alone. There are resources available, communities of support, and even therapists who can guide you on this journey.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be back next time with another deep dive into the messy but oh so important world of relationships.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And most importantly, remember that loving someone doesn't mean sacrificing your own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly, that feel-good chemical. But just like gambling, it can become a compulsion, even an addiction.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's about finding that delicate balance between supporting others and honoring your own needs.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP6 | Loving Difficult People | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is kind of scary. And what's even scarier is that your body is also sending you stress signals.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It can. It keeps us playing small, you know, holding back our gifts, ultimately preventing us from making the unique contribution that only we can make.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's great to hear.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a process, right? It's reclaiming your power. Recognizing your worthiness doesn't depend on what other people think. And as you continue to embrace this let them mindset, you'll find you have more energy, more enthusiasm for the things that really matter to you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And remember, this is just the beginning. This concept of letting them think bad thoughts about you, it's just one piece of the larger let them theory.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The one we've been exploring this whole season of The Messy Podcast.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Ooh, that's going to be a good one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, for sure. Because let's face it, we all have those challenging relationships in our lives.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So we're going to be exploring boundaries, guilt, how to navigate those tricky dynamics without sacrificing your own well-being.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And if you're enjoying these deep dives, we would love for you to share the podcast with a friend who might need to hear this message.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Until next time, keep shining your light. And remember, let them think what they want and let you be you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Of course, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
She talks about that experience as being trapped in this, what she calls, draft-delete spiral.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, it's the worst. You craft the perfect post. You're imagining every negative comment, and then you just scrap the whole thing.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's just self-sabotage fueled by fear.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, totally.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay, what's that?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, good question.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It really has.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So the idea here, it's not about, you know, being reckless or disregarding all feedback.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's about a shift in perspective, a big one.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's about understanding that we just can't control what other people think.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But what we can control is our own reactions to those thoughts.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The source material actually provides this really cool framework called let them let me.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Deep, deep.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, let them let me. So let them think what they want and let me do what I need to do. It's reclaiming your power.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Focusing on your own actions and intentions instead of getting caught up in everybody else's opinions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, totally.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
A little bit. Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, for sure. Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Okay, so Blurton Post, it's designed to bypass that overthinking, self-sabotaging part of our brains and just push us to share our work without excessive editing, without filtering.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Absolutely. And you know what? The source material, it shares this fantastic case study.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
About a listener who embraces the Blurt and Post challenge, and she ends up launching this successful business.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So this listener was terrified to share pictures of her baking creations online.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Convinced people would just judge her skills.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So she was scared.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
No. She took the plunge.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Posted a picture of her first cupcake. Wow. Fully embracing the let them mindset.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And you know what? People loved it.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
They did. She got positive feedback, encouragement, and built a loyal following.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's a perfect example of how let them think bad thoughts about you. It isn't about being careless or seeking out the negative feedback. It's about shifting your focus from that external validation to that internal drive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah, it does.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, the opinion detox.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's this powerful exercise designed to help us identify and then reframe the fears that are holding us back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It encourages us to get really specific about our fears and then apply the let them let me framework to dismantle them.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
All right, so think of three specific fears you have about what other people might think of you. Really, really get into the details. For example, you mentioned earlier feeling anxious about sharing your writing online.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So now apply the let them let me framework to that fear. Just say it out loud. Let them think my writing is bad.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let me share it anyway.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. It's about taking the power back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now let's explore two more fears and apply that same framework. What else comes to mind?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. It really is a universal experience. Totally. It often stems from this deeply ingrained fear of judgment that's just wired into our brains. It's like way back when, for survival, being ostracized from the tribe, that would be death. So we developed this really strong drive to fit in and avoid, avoid rejection at all costs.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, that's that's a common one. It speaks to that, you know, deep seated desire for connection and approval. But but remember, you can't control their reactions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You can only control your own preparation and delivery. So let's reframe that fear. Let's use let them.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's right. It's acknowledging the fear, but refusing to let it paralyze you.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And, you know, as you practice this, you'll start to notice that fear, it loses their grip.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You'll become more focused on your message.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And less concerned with their reactions.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now, what about one more fear? One more.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So relatable. We live in this world where social media, it's just this curated version of reality.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So easy to get caught up in comparison.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And self-doubt. But remember, social media, it's a tool.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You decide how you use it. So let's apply that framework to this fear.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It does.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the power. That's the power of reframing.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
By consciously choosing, let them think what they want. You're freeing yourself to let you be you. This opinion detox. It's like mental spring cleaning.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You're clearing out those limiting beliefs, making space for more empowering ones.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Well, imagine you're in a meeting, right? You're brimming with ideas, but you're hesitant to speak up for fear of being judged or ridiculed.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
So instead of staying silent, you could use a similar script.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, let them think my idea is naive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let me present it with passion and clarity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And that's a key point. This let them theory, it isn't about dismissing all feedback. Right. It's about learning to discern the difference between constructive criticism, you know, which helps us learn and grow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And irrelevant noise, which is just a reflection of the other person's biases.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And insecurity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes. As you become more comfortable with the let them mindset, you'll start to notice patterns in the feedback you receive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You'll start to recognize which voices are consistently offering those valuable insights.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And which ones tend to be more critical.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Or dismissive.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And remember, even constructive criticism can sting sometimes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But instead of letting it derail you, try to approach it with curiosity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But these days, in today's world, this instinct can totally backfire.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Ask yourself, what can I learn from this feedback? How can I use this to improve my work?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly, yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, exactly. And by applying that same principle to the opinions of others, we free ourselves from the shadows of judgment and embrace our own unique path.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
The source material highlights this beautifully.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
With a quote from Mary Oliver, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It holds us back from sharing our deaths, you know?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
A call to action.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Reminding us our time is limited. We shouldn't waste it worrying about things we can't control. Right. Faisal, living authentically and pursuing the things that light us up.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Even if it means risking a little judgment.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Pursuing our passions, all of that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it. And beautiful thing is this. Let them theory. It's not some abstract concept.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Something you can start applying right now.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. It's about taking that first step, however small, towards a life that's aligned with your values and your vision.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
This week. That's right. And remember, this is a journey.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You won't become completely fearless overnight.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, totally.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
There will be moments of doubt, setbacks, those pesky inner critics trying to make a comeback.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it. And just like learning any new skill, there will be times when we stumble. Right. Make mistakes. But that's part of the process.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it. Embracing that growth mindset.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Recognizing that setbacks, they're not failures, they're stepping stones.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
To greater confidence and authenticity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's it. That's it. And as you continue to challenge yourself, you'll be amazed at how much stronger and more resilient you become.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Everywhere.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is, right? It reminds me, you know, about discerning between constructive criticism and irrelevant noise, something we touched on earlier.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, this can be tricky, especially when you're navigating this new mindset.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes. I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a great way to put it. I love that.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. And remember, even constructive criticism can sting sometimes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
But instead of letting it derail you, approach it with curiosity.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Right. OK.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And by applying that principle to the opinions of others, we can free ourselves from those shackles of judgment, truly embrace our own unique path.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You are not alone on this journey. We're all in this together. Right. Navigating this, you know, messy, beautiful, unpredictable terrain of human experience. So keep showing up. Keep sharing your voice. Keep shining your light. Even if it means risking a little judgment. Because at the end of the day, your voice matters. Your story matters. And the world needs to hear what you have to say.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And with that in mind, I'm curious, what's one thing you've been putting off because of fear?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S1 EP5 | Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
What would it look like to embrace the let the mindset and take action?
The MeidasTouch Podcast
Trump voters FREAK OUT on Him over CANCELED INAUGURATION
What's your reaction to that? So we're not gonna get to see it in person then, is that correct? That's right. Well, I don't like it. I mean, we came all the way from Washington from Oklahoma, and now we're not gonna get to see it. We might as well stay home and watch it on TV. It sucks.
The MeidasTouch Podcast
Trump voters FREAK OUT on Him over CANCELED INAUGURATION
Let me rephrase that.
The MeidasTouch Podcast
Trump voters FREAK OUT on Him over CANCELED INAUGURATION
Yeah, it's actually something that we've been looking forward to for historical purposes and being a part of it. That's once in a lifetime. Absolutely. We made all the plans, all the arrangements to come up and be a part of this event. And all of a sudden to hear that it's being moved indoors. We're prepared for the weather. It's not a problem. It's kind of like a bummer.
The MeidasTouch Podcast
Trump voters FREAK OUT on Him over CANCELED INAUGURATION
It is, yeah. It's holding our heart, nobody. We have farms and we don't get to not feed the cows because it's cold.