REAL AF with Andy Frisella
854. Q&AF: How To Not Be Cocky, Chasing Happiness With Ambition & Boundaries In Business
Mon, 17 Mar 2025
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to not be cocky when you start winning in business, how to achieve happiness while staying ambitious about your big goals, and how to create proper boundaries in your professional world.
Chapter 1: How can you submit questions to Andy Purcell's podcast?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to Motherfucking Reality. Guys, today, we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you... the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a couple different ways.
The first way is... Guys, email these questions in to askandy at andyforsella.com. Or go on YouTube in the comments section of the Q&A episodes. Drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well. If you're new... We don't just do Q&A, okay? We've got shows within the show, all right? Tomorrow, you're going to hear CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet.
This is where we cruise the internet. We put topics up on the screen. We talk about what's going on. We speculate on what is true and what is not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Sometimes we're going to get a real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. You might call it a rant.
Chapter 2: What is the 75 Hard Program and its benefits?
I call it what you need to hear. And then we have 75 Hard Verses, okay? 75 Hard Verses is where people who have completed the 75 Hard Program come on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they use the 75 Hard Program to extinguish the dumpster fire of their life. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the world's premier mental toughness program.
It's the most popular mental toughness program in the history of Earth. And it happens to be just the first phase of the Live Hard program. which you can get for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Again, that's 208 on the Real AF audio feed, which is available anywhere audio podcasts are. Okay, there's also a book. You can get the book at andyfersella.com.
It's called The Book on Mental Toughness. It includes the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of extra content.
um on mental toughness why it's important how to utilize it uh to change your life okay and you can get that andypriscilla.com it is not free but it has a ton of useful info that you will not find on episode 208 but if you just want the program you can get it for free episode 208 on the audio feed Now, we have something that we do a little different here. We don't run ads.
We're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads, okay? In exchange for that, we do ask something. I don't ask for your money. I ask very simply that you help us grow the show, all right? So if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if it gives you a new perspective, if it's something that you think people need to hear, do us a solid. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right.
What's up, dude? What's going on? You know, I was thinking we got MFCO coming back. And, like, I don't think I ever asked, like, where did the name come from? Like, how did you come up with MFCEO?
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Chapter 3: How did Andy Purcell come up with the name MFCEO?
It's actually a funny story. So, there was a commercial many, many, many years ago that you can still find on YouTube that K-Swiss did with Kenny Powers. The Shibuya. Okay, yeah, K-Swiss, the Shibuya. I had some K-Swiss back in my day. Yeah, I bet you did. And the... The gist of the commercial is that Kenny Powers is the CEO of K-Swiss. Okay.
And the opening line of the video is, Konnichiwa, I'm Kenny Powers, and I am the new motherfucking CEO of K-Swiss. Got it. All right? So back then, my employees, because I like to curse... especially when I'm giving passionate speeches to our team, started calling me MFCEO. And they got me a shirt that said MFCEO. And I started wearing the shirt.
And when we decided that we were going to create a podcast, we just decided to call it that, an MFCEO project. And the reason it was called a project was because we were trying to create something a whole bunch of other MFCEO to take control of their lives, have a little swagger, learn how to win, make some money, be a good person, and have fun doing it. So that was where the name came from.
I do like it. And it stuck. I mean, like, fuck, dude. I'm pretty sure more people know me as that than they know of that commercial.
Yeah, right. No, no, I think that's a fact. Why did you say you bet I wore K-Swiss? What? You said you bet I wore K-Swiss?
yeah what does that mean well i mean you're you know you're a little bit light in the twinkle toes you know what i'm saying you know i'm just saying that's okay no that's cool though um no i accept because like dude like i feel like most people they they're at least maybe it's an old level of thinking but like most people look at business and see it as such this like dry thing and i feel like you know when i see you you don't see that at all you see life you see passion you see dry like you don't really see that a lot i guess
But business now is a whole different other thing.
Look, man, nobody wants to come work with some dry turd who's been sitting out in the sun and you're going to go pick it up with a fucking grocery bag and it crumbles in your hand. That is the epitome of most leaders in corporate America. And nobody wants to work like that.
so i've just always kept it real bro yeah i say what i think i think what i say uh i communicate the way i communicate and sure there's been some people that didn't like it but guess what it's my business i run it the way i want and if you don't want to work here you don't have to so the people here sort of reflect that mentality now everybody might not be you know the same way i am which they're not
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Chapter 4: Why is authenticity crucial for personal branding?
when we're little people say oh you could be anything you want you could do anything you want you can build you could be president you could and as we grow up right you can sort of see this in grade school your teachers might say well yeah you know dj you could be president you get to junior high and they're like, well, you could be, but you know, you've got to have this and this and this.
And then by high school, they're like, you need to be more realistic. You're going to turn wrenches or whatever they say, which by the way, some of my best friends and most talented people that I know turn wrenches for a living. And, and they're, so it's not a knock, but the point is, is that you get talked out of your own belief and your own authenticity and your own dreams for being
conformity that is forced and that's why people have such a hard time ever developing or even knowing or discovering who they are as a person and for you to develop an authentic brand The best thing I can give you, dude, the best piece of advice that I can give you is to let it fucking rip, dude.
Whatever comes out of your mouth, however it comes out of your mouth, whatever you're thinking, just let it go out. And your product will develop over time if you follow that play, but... To start it in the first place to ever have a good authentic product for personal brand has to start with you Knowing who you truly are and we all know who we truly are but
We all don't have the courage to allow the world to see that. It's this little idea that we have inside of our heart, this little version of ourselves that we sort of imagine and fantasize about and think about that we're like, man, if anybody really knew this, I'd be the greatest of all time at this. But we don't let it out because we're afraid of what we've been conditioned to
behaviorally to to understand which is conformity wins and in reality conformity doesn't win it's authenticity so it's counterintuitive to what people grow up with and the cultural conditioning that they deal with through the schooling process and that's why people have such a hard time understanding what authenticity really is and an even harder time expressing that
so uh you know a lot of you guys building a personal brand or you want to have people want to follow you um you need to develop this truly authentic version of yourself because dude people know when they're getting it and they can feel it it's an energy and whether it's you know got the language that they like or not
It doesn't matter because authenticity is the ultimate competitive advantage because no one else can be your authentic self So if you're trying to be like everybody else and you're trying to be a different version of andy or goggins or fucking jocko or Whoever you might look up to All you are is a watered-down version of that which doesn't get the attention because the real version is that much better?
So what version of you? is actually you Lay that out there and then continue to develop upon that. And that is how you become successful leader and build a brand that people resonate with.
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Chapter 5: How to avoid being cocky when you start succeeding in business?
that has been overlooked, that is way behind, that is hungrier than ever to win. So we have to recalibrate how you are thinking and how you are thinking should be
Dude, I don't have any option but to go win. And I have to win so big because I have to take care of myself. I have to take care of my family. I have to take care of my friends. Because once you become that big of a winner, that's the reality of winning. You become the epicenter for everybody else around you.
Every single person in your life will probably end up surviving because of what you're doing in your business, in your professional life. So... Let's break this down.
How do you compare to me? Would you say you're winning compared to me?
Okay. Now I take that and I say, well, how do I compare to Jeff Bezos? All right. Do I think I'm winning compared to Jeff Bezos? Absolutely not. All right. And you aren't winning either. So to ask, how do I compare?
keep from getting cocky or stay from getting cocky uh well you have to plant your fucking feet in reality bro because you haven't done shit yet all right so and this is also where you have to understand what the meaning of humility actually means the meaning of humility has nothing to do with the car you drive and the house you live in or all this other shit that broke people tell you
The meaning of humility has to do with your understanding that you are a result of your actions and not a result of you just being great. You are winning a little bit because you did things that others were not willing to do. And if you want to continue to grow and continue to scale and continue to win over the course of your life, which you need to because you're not winning right now.
You think you are, but you're not. You need to do a couple things. One, you need to embody the true sense of humility, which is this. I am the result of my actions, and when my actions stop, my success will stop. And you also have to understand that you are no better than anybody else because if anybody else had executed the actions that you have executed, they would also be in your position.
So how could you think it's you when if anybody else did the same exact things you did, they would be where you are? Yeah.
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Chapter 6: Why is it important to continuously raise your goals?
And when I talk to people, I can tell if they're going to win or not. Very simply. And you're probably wondering, well, how? You're probably full of shit. You're a psychic, Andy. No. I have been alive enough to recognize a massive difference between people who make it and people who don't make it. People who make it are committed. Meaning they do not give a fuck how long it takes.
I do not fucking care how long it takes me to win this battle. I don't care. It could take me till I'm 90. It could take me till I'm 55. I don't give a fuck, but it's going to happen. And that is how people think that win. People who do not win or say shit like this. I'm going to retire at 35. I'm going to fucking retire. Motherfucker. I will crush you. You're playing on an unrealistic timeframe.
Okay. Which means eventually you're going to get burned out and you're going to quit or you're going to lose to someone who doesn't give a fuck how long it takes. So unless you're going to invest, In entrepreneurship, with your life to the point of I don't care how long it fucking takes, don't do it. Don't do it because you'll lose to people who do.
Fuck, man. I love it, man. Like I said, this topic, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question. You know, talking about, you know, trying to stay on the path.
Hey, did we get, sorry, did we get live call-ins going yet? Yeah, we got it all figured out. So you heard it from the man right there, guys. We're having live call-ins real soon for Q&A. So we're going to have a way for you to call in. You're going to talk to me directly, and I'm going to tell you how fucking stupid you are.
We'll be flipping the coin.
Flip the coin. That's what it is. I don't mean to tell you stupid, but I am going to tell you the truth. I'm going to tell you, like this kid here, bro, if you had called in and said that, I would have fucking burned your ass. You would have never forgot it. But in 20 years, you'd be like, thank you. I can't wait for the live call-ins, bro.
No, but I mean, this conversation goes perfectly into our next question though, right? Like staying on the path, understanding you're not there yet, right? Question number two, Andy, I'm an ambitious person. I've always had big goals and I'm proud of my work ethic, but lately I feel like I'm always chasing the next achievement without enjoying what I already have.
I reach a goal and instead of celebrating, I immediately think, what's next? Good. I don't want to lose my drive, but I also don't want to spend my whole life feeling like happiness is always just one step away. How can I find balance between striving for more and actually appreciating the present?
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Chapter 7: What lifestyle choices differentiate champions from spectators?
When we start to think about what happens when people celebrate, usually progress stops because people celebrate. It feels good. They continue to do the thing that feels good. And then, you know, they end up at 40 years old talking about how they won the MVP of their high school football game. Right. All right. So that's how that happens.
Over celebrating, attaching your identity to the past, not the present or the future. All right. So. over celebrating is the most damaging thing that i've ever seen achievers do and it's sad because those people are capable of achieving far more than what they actually end up achieving because they stick to this thing they did was great one time guess what man
People trip and fall into greatness at least once in their life. Okay? You shouldn't attach your identity to it. I don't give a fuck what I did in the past. I don't think about it. I don't dwell on it. I don't think about conversations I had in the past. I don't think about any of that shit. I am always focused on what I'm doing today and what's going to happen in the future.
And I have not found someone... who is continuing to win over and over and over again, who talks about their past. And if you pay attention, you can see this. All right? Watch some of these old NFL guys that do announcing for their games. All they fucking talk about, they'll start out with this. It's annoying as fuck to me. This is why I notice it. Well, when I used to play, it was this and this.
And they go on this story of when I used to play. But then... You look at those guys' lives, and they're not actually doing anything besides talking about their past for a living, all right? So they're not building companies. They're not leveraging their football success. You know what I'm saying? They get stuck in the past. Now, think about that.
You probably all have a friend who was an ex-athlete, and all they fucking talk about— is how many home runs they hit, or how fucking many touchdowns they scored in a game, or that one game I ran for 200 yards. Yes, so what? What are you doing now? What are you doing now? What did you do today? All right?
So that's what we need to focus on, and we need to quit thinking that not celebrating is such a bad thing, because it actually creates way more good in the world. The more you win, the more good that you create. So I wouldn't feel bad that you're not a big celebrator. I am probably the worst celebrator of all time.
I think it's responsible for the continual growth path of going more and more and more and more and more. It's not about what you're doing, it's what you're doing. I don't put any value in that. And by the way, I fucking expect to win. My expectation is to win. I'm not hyped when I celebrate or when I win. I'm like, okay, that's how it's supposed to go. Yeah, you're not surprised. No, not at all.
That's how it's supposed to go. And anything other than that is unacceptable. And that's another difference that successful people have from everybody else. They expect to win. They are not excited when they win because that's what they were supposed to do. All right? Nick Saban, Bill Belichick, the best coaches that ever played. What do you see them do when they win? They go up on the podium.
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