REAL AF with Andy Frisella
851. Q&AF: Dealing With Stress, Setting Healthy Boundaries & How To Find A Mentor
Mon, 10 Mar 2025
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on how to effectively deal with stress, how to get healthy boundaries so that you don’t get taken advantage of, and how to find a mentor to help you level up in life and business.
Chapter 1: What is the format of Andy Frisella's podcast?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies and fakeness and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions, which can be about anything, a couple different ways.
Chapter 2: How can you submit questions to the podcast?
The first way is, guys, email these questions in to askandy at andyfrisella.com, or go on YouTube and On the Q&AF episodes, drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well. Now, let me give you a rundown on the show. We got shows within the show. Tomorrow, we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. This is where we put topics on the screen.
Chapter 3: What are the different segments within the show?
We speculate on what's true and not true. We make fun of a whole bunch of people. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve some of these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. That's just 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you a short rant lesson.
And then we have 75 hard versus 75 hard versus where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show, talks about how their life was before, how their life is now and how they use the 75 hard program to get where they are today. If you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it is the initial phase of the Live Hard program.
The Live Hard program can be found for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. If you're unfamiliar with Live Hard and 75 Hard, it is the world's premier. Mental transformation program. It will get you from being a turd into a polished turd, okay? Change your life with the program. It's free. Episode 208 in the audio feed.
Chapter 4: How does Andy Frisella view sponsorships and ads?
There's also a book called The Book on Mental Toughness that has the entire Live Hard program plus a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness, how to cultivate it, how to use it, and how to build the life that you want using it. You can get that at andypriscilla.com. Now... We are the world's largest show that doesn't run ads.
The reason that we don't run ads is because I don't want to be told what I can and can't say by some knucklehead and some corporation that I don't even like, all right? So I financed the show myself so you don't have to waste half your day listening to ads. And in exchange, I ask very simply one thing.
If you like the show, if it makes you laugh, if it makes you think, if it gives you a new perspective, if you learned something, which you will today, if it entertains you, if it gives you the giggles, Do us a favor. Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right.
Chapter 5: Why is daylight savings time challenging?
What's up, dude? What's going on, man? Nothing. Yeah, we were just talking. I really do think for some reason this daylight savings kicked my ass. Yeah. I don't know why. It's fucking ridiculous. I've been doing it for 30 years, but it's just like this one for some reason. It got me. Bro, I was thinking about this.
I think that. The powers that be intentionally make it dark during the winter so that we're all depressed. Yeah. And we're less productive. Less sunlight. I am way less motivated, way less productive in the winter months than I am in the summer months. And way less happy.
Yeah.
It's that seasonal depressive disorder, whatever. I need a light, bro. LGB something, yeah. Yeah, of course.
oh bro did you see the comments on that short on which one on the on the uh well we'll talk about it tomorrow okay yeah it was funny no but yeah i mean so i don't know maybe maybe so maybe that's what it is like it's getting us out of that ick you know yeah i don't know dude uh but i can tell you this i would like it to be sunny until nine o'clock at night dude that'd be nice i like that that's my favorite time of the year dude like it doesn't get dark until like 9 15. yeah bro
That's the shit. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like days were longer when I was a little kid, man. You know, like, you know, because we were out to the street lights came on. Yeah. What were you doing? Shit. You know, stuff. Yeah. Stuff. Stuff you can't talk about. Stuff we can't talk about. You know.
What was your, what was your, what did you like to play?
Like what kind of games did you guys play when you were kids? Uh, so we had this one game where we would, so like my, where I grew up at, it was an apartment on a hill. I'm being serious. I'm dead ass serious. Um, and so there was like, you know, my apartment, four family flat, there was an alley and then there was this elementary school next to me called gun lock. Okay. Um,
And so my friends, you know, because it was on a hill, like we had retained like this massive retaining wall.
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Chapter 6: What childhood games did Andy and Co-Host play?
Right.
And then the elementary school was their recess yard, which like dropped fucking 30 feet. Yeah. And so what we would do is we would like go up on our porch and usually every day around, like, you know, after school, about an hour after school, we call it the crackhead parade.
because your crack head off the off the no they would like come by like you throw it off a 30 foot drop no we just throw shit at them oh okay yeah that's the game you play bro and who could hit it and then we would run because they were fast they're all hopped up i'll grow i'm i'm i'm listen that's like 100 that's like 110 octane bro you you're asking me about my childhood i'm telling you what we did we threw shit at crack kids man they run from them
You guys didn't play any games, man. No, that was it. That was it. Like, you didn't, like. That was it. Then we, you know, we take, like, our bikes and stuff that we would, you know, get ownership of. And we put, like. Bottles in the back tire.
So, basically, everybody's bike was a community bike.
Yeah, it was a community bike. Yeah. That's why we didn't care. Like, we leave them outside. We didn't care. That's a nice way to say it. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And, you know, put little plastic bottles in the back tire. You know, roll around like a little gang and stuff.
Oh, yeah. Make it sound like a motorcycle. Mm-hmm.
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Chapter 7: How to deal with stress and distractions effectively?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right. Well, let's make some. I was trying not to make any jokes today. I'm proud of you.
Today is serious. Yeah, it's a good day. Tomorrow's joke day. So let's get on with it. Holding them all in until tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. I got a lot. Guys, Andy, I got three good ones for you, man. Let's knock these out. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, whenever I'm stressed. I numb myself with distractions, scrolling through my phone, porn or drinking.
I'm fully aware that these things don't actually help, but they're my default. I want to learn healthier ways to handle stress, but I don't know where to start. How do I stop turning to quick fixes and start dealing with stress in a productive way?
Okay, well, first of all, this is a really good question because a lot of people struggle with this. And I think if you put it in different terms, it's very easy to make the adjustment that you're looking for. And the terms that I would put it in is that you have to realize that you are losing the game of life to a fucking screen. Okay, you are losing the game of life to a screen.
You are losing the game of life to women who have no idea who you are and don't give two shits about you. You are losing the game of life to an inanimate object of alcohol. All right. What this means is, is that you have to develop discipline. You have to develop the ability to recognize when it is you fall into this discipline. trap and how to get out of it. So the answer here is twofold.
One, it's awareness. If you don't know that you're falling into these things, they can capture you and you could get sucked into the vortex for half the day. And that happens. But since you're asking the question, I would say you're already aware that it's a problem. So you've already conquered that. That's a great thing.
The next part is the part of action where the first time that you think of it, the first time that it arises, the first time you're like, oh, shit, I'm scrolling or I'm letting it distract me. You need to get up and go do something that is productive towards your goals.
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Chapter 8: What is the misconception about stress?
OK, so when you start to expect that you should be able to go out and achieve something and then feel no stress, the minute you feel stress, you get stressed. this amplification that happens, because it's like the expectation is that I should feel good, I should feel not stressed, I should feel easy, and I should be able to do this and not feel these things.
And then the minute you start feeling it, you're like... Oh, shit, dude, I'm so stressed.
There it is.
Yeah. So, dude, we end up in this cycle. And the cycle can only be broken by having the proper expectations, okay? Life is fucking hard. Building something is hard. Becoming something is hard. Creating something is hard. These are all hard things.
And having the expectation that it's going to be easy only makes it that much harder because every time the expectation is broken, you freak the fuck out. So we have to understand that there's going to be stress either way, dude. If you're going to go down the path of working hard, building something, creating something, becoming something, it's going to be fucking stressful.
And it's also going to be stressful sitting at home not being able to pay your bills or know how you could fill your car with gas. So there is no path there.
anywhere in life that doesn't come with stress and anxiety and the expectation that's created by all of these you know internet wizards who know everything about everything but you know magically haven't done anything they try to tell you that you're supposed to go through life feeling peaceful and calm and all this well dude i'll be real i don't know anybody that's built anything
Relevant to what you guys want to do with your lives that has built You know anything that you know, we would any of us would say oh man, that's fucking amazing That walks through life, you know like Buddha stress-free. Yes Bro, cuz stress drives you to action. All right, most people don't do their best work until they have to do their best work and
They don't execute properly or at the highest level until their back is against the wall and stress is bearing down on them. And then they have no other opportunity or choice but to act. Okay. And this is what I call zero options mentality. When you are a young person and you are not young in the game of entrepreneurship, you could be 50 and you start out trying to build these things.
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