William Montgomery
Appearances
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I feel like we should ramp up President's Day just a notch. Like we should all be forced to kneel on rugs that face the Washington Monument and pray to the gods that we elected. So the buzz in Hollywood is they're making a prequel to Cliffhanger and it stars a volcano? Because volcanoes make mountains, Cliff. Okay, let's keep moving. Fuck.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Elon Musk says that millions of people receiving social security payments are between 150 and 200 years old, with one person being 360 years old. Red band, I knew your mom was old as shit, but damn! Fuck! Germany is cracking down on hate speech. Seems a little ironic. Okay, this is my time, Tony.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Tony, I felt so bad for the mime guy. He seemed genuinely not to talk about other stuff, but that seems sad. Tell me about it. I don't know. It just seemed like he was really feeling bad. It seemed like he was really depressed. And I want to say, thank God I'm still back off of the Call of Duty camo grind. Tony, I've literally, I've been doing the row machine. Guess how many miles?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Whoa. I am doing a shit ton more. It's wonderful. I'm listening to Blues Traveler exclusively. It's been a very therapeutic thing for me, Tony.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I don't know. Well, I've looked up clubs. They have clubs here in town, so maybe one of these days.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I need to figure out the logistics. You could have your own kayak.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Yeah. And row. Maybe I'll start doing that. We'll see. I don't know, Tony. I'm figuring it out.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
It's at a gym. It's at a gym. It's not at my house. Maybe if I can get out of the one-bedroom apartment. Maybe at some point it's a dream to get a rowing machine. I get in my car today, Tony, and the fucking volume doesn't work. I'm trying to listen to some Blues Traveler. I was going to listen to Hook on the way over here, and the fucking volume's busted on the fucking Volvo.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Correct. Yeah, I got the kind that you just put inside of your ear. Yeah, that would be headphones. It's a good kind to do. Tony, I swear, I don't think I've eaten enough food. I've been burning all these calories. I feel insane. I feel crazy, kind of. I had a Clif Bar on the way over here, but I don't think I've eaten enough. It's not good right now. I feel like I'm sweating. I feel...
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I cannot believe y'all still have that fucking food up there.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I cannot believe y'all still have him bringing the fucking food up there. What do you mean it got you sick? Like a year ago, it got me sick as shit. I ate one of the fucking cheeseburgers.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
No, I'm kidding. It's pretty good food. It's good. I don't know. I just didn't eat it.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
It's over by Inateck. I watched fucking... What is the office space last night? Yeah, it's right by Initech. It's very close to Initech. I took a picture outside of the building today. I did put the timer on my phone, but I'm standing right before the entrance of Initech. It looks almost the same, too, right?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Motherfucking state champion of Tennessee. I will be honest, there weren't a lot of people in the race, but the state champion of Tennessee.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Yeah, it was wonderful. My mother and I, I don't think I've said this on here, but my mom and I met him when my mom was helping my brother move to town, and we meet Lance Armstrong up there, and my mom's talking to him, and she's like, yeah, William's dad rides a lot, not as good as you, obviously. And he looks at her, and he's like, yeah, no shit. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It was kind of insane.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I love the guy. I still love the guy, but it was insane. Nobody was insinuating my sweet father was fucking faster than Lance Armstrong. It was insane.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Yeah, stupid white woman. Crazy thing to say. She's real racist, too. Yeah, stupid white woman.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Well, I'm getting, nobody wants to hear this, but I'm getting back on the Aubrey and Buds because, Tony, I've been drinking protein shakes after I work out, and I've been going two and three days without shitting. So I've got to get back. But it's so weird, Tony. Everybody, again, be careful. This is really a warning. I used to love the Aubrey and Buds.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I was eating them every day for probably a year, and then I had to stop. I overdid it. So now I'm looking at it every single morning, and I can't bring myself to open up the box. But I'm going to have to because I'm now at day two of not shitting. And I ate a bunch of food last night. Wow. Absolutely incredible.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
You should have done her laugh. That was so funny, the laugh you have.