The William Montgomery Show
Val Kilmer Lives | The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket Ep. 176
Thu, 17 Apr 2025
William Montgomery is back for more stiff riffs! It’s The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket!🎯 Join our Patreon and become a Mercenary, Child Soldier, or Bounty Hunter. YOU choose your path, but watch out for the mole! No one escapes the mole! Plus find out when you can watch LIVE/thewilliammontgomeryshow★ Watch new episodes of The William Montgomery Show with Casey Rocket on YouTube every Wednesday at 8:30 PM CentralWilliam Montgomery📷 Instagram: /william.f.montgomery1🥃 Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/williammontgomery👕 Merch: https://william-montgomery-town.creat...📧 Email: [email protected]☎️ Voicemail: 1 (737) 471-1098Casey Rocket📷 Instagram: /caseyrocket🕸️ Website: http://www.CaseyRocketComedy.com💬 Patreon: /caseyrocket📽️ YouTube: @CaseyRocket👕 Merch: https://rawpaw.ink/products/congress-...★★★★ The William Montgomery Show on ALL Major Audio Platforms!♦ Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...♦ Spotify Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/6SJj2pP...★ For More William Montgomery and Casey Rocket, check out ‘Kill Tony’ live every Monday at The Comedy Mother Ship in Austin TX and on YouTube: @KillTony★ Original cover art illustration by Ryan J. Ebelt: https://ryanjebelt.com★ Recorded in Austin Texas at Record ATX.★ Send your letters & packages to:♦ P.O. Box 40316 Austin, TX 78704★ The William Montgomery Show is produced by William MontgomeryWilliam F Montgomery is an American stand-up comedian. A native of Memphis Tennessee, William now resides in Austin, Texas. Under the tutelage of a top young rising comedian, Tony Hinchcliffe, & Brian ‘The Podfather’ Redban, William has become a fan favorite & the longest serving Kill Tony Regular. William has performed in front of comedy icons such as Joe Rogan, Whitney Cummings, Russell Peters, Tiffany Haddish, Doug Stanhope, Tim Dillon, Doug Benson, Donnell Rawlings, Jeff Ross, Dane Cook, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, Ron White, Ari Shaffir, Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J Gomez, Dan Soder, Jim Gaffigan, Andrew Santino, Dom Irrera, Steve Simone, Brian Holtzman, Sal Vulcano, Ian Edwards, Greg Fitzsimmons, Shane Gillis, Kyle Dunnigan, Ms. Pat, Josh Potter, Mark Normand, Ryan Sickler, Eddie Pepitone, Josh Wolf, Moshe Kasher, Bonnie McFarlane, Steve Lee, Adam Ray, Andrew Shultz, Pauly Shore, Bob Saget, Michael Rapaport & Don Barris. Montgomery has garnered many monikers over the years: The Big Red Machine, The Vanilla Gorilla, The Memphis Madman, The Tennessee Tickler, The Strawberry Twist & The Raisin-Bread Kid. William regularly opens for Joe Rogan in the Austin area. Along with David Lucas, William has previously hosted ‘Brothers in Cursive’ & ‘Are We Really Brothers’. William has appeared on podcast such as ‘Jeremiah Wonders with Jeremiah Watkins’, ‘Unlicensed Therapy with Ari Mannis’, ‘Dead Air with Brian Holtzman’, ‘Shenk with Sara Weinshenk’ & ‘The Fat Pessimist with David Lucas’.
Chapter 1: What happens when the hosts feel sick?
Well, it scares me, Casey, because my throat, when I woke up today, it felt like I had strep throat again, but I haven't had strep throat since I got my tonsils taken out. Freaking, I don't, this is, what, 25 years ago now? I mean, this is a long time ago, so I don't know either. Are we both, I don't know, are we both sick?
Something's going down. Grant's been putting little sick pills in our little soup.
This is not true. I don't want you to start getting paranoid.
Yeah, you're trying to make us think that we're, you want us to think that we're sick, but you're actually the one like messing, you're the one poisoning us. Yeah, so you can swoop in and say, oh, I brought you guys a cold rag. Yeah, and the Z-bars, it always seems like the Z-bars are a little messed up. He's putting pills in the middle like a piece of ham for a dog.
So, Erica, that actually was very sweet. Thank you so much for bringing the protein bars the other day. You must have just had a feeling that he was messing with the Z-bars.
Mm-hmm.
Common denominator.
You guys should have a Z-bar.
I don't feel like falling asleep on the podcast, Grant.
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Chapter 2: What are the hosts' favorite foods?
Just have one.
Yeah, get real sleepy after that. I don't really want to feel so sleepy in here today. Yeah, I got a bunch of shit to do tonight. I'm supposed to go have sausage and egg and cheese biscuits. Where? At freaking Waffle House? 24 Diner. It's this new quaint little number. You're going to love it. It's on the east side. It's 24 hours a day. Seven days a week? Wednesday through Sunday. Damn.
I don't know why he's acting surprised. We've been multiple times. I don't know. That's so weird.
Is it on the east side? I thought it was on Lamar. I guess maybe they have multiple locations.
I don't know if it's multiple, but it's the same thing. I might have lied about the location.
You've been. But it's on Guadaluplin. Yeah, Guadaluplin. Yes. That rings a bell. But they have these sausage, what do you call it, and gravy biscuits. Oh, yeah, the sausage and gravy. I love that stuff. I got no sleep last night because I kept having this dream about Jeepers Creepers. What, like the scary guy in Jeepers Creepers? The scary guy. So in my dream, I pull up to a rest stop.
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Chapter 3: What dreams are the hosts having?
I know I have to fight somebody, like an enemy. Yeah. This guy looks up from this hood. He has like deer eye shine. You know what I mean? Like his eyes are reflective. I go, something's fucking off.
Damn.
And then I turn to my buddy and I go, what was it? What was it? I said, what are the chances he even speaks English? Because he's a monster. He was like a monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, you should try to talk to him.
And then in my dream, the only thing I remember saying is, what are the chances he even speaks English? And then you like woke up or he did it. Did he end up talking to you? I woke up because my girlfriend is in town visiting and she woke me up right at that moment.
I woke up screaming. She got here from the airport. I woke up like...
I was like kicking. Damn. I thought she was creepy. Damn. And that's a, that's a legit question. I mean, what language does the monster speak? That's a legit, who knows? I mean, the mummy, what's he speak? He's speaking like Egyptian. He's not speaking.
No.
If you happen to run into the mummy, what count Dracula? That's Scandinavia. Yeah. Scandinavian freaking. What are the odds? I think it's so. Xeno xenophobic. Yeah, to assume that all monsters speak English. Why would GP Creepy speak English? His ass is speaking Filipino or something. Yeah. His ass is speaking something from the islands or somewhere. I don't know.
Somewhere, but not American, not English. No. Something like that was not bred in the States. It's something from, honestly, a different plane of existence. Wait, so what do you mean when you say like a deer eye? Wait, so what does that look like?
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Chapter 4: What presents do the hosts give each other?
I thought you were doing a bit.
No, it's horrible. So I was trying to riff with you as a friend, as a friend would do. Well, thank you. When you're caught in a situation like that. But he really looks, he does have Calvary, the crosses at Calvary under his right eye. I think that's kind of cool that he's got what the classic kind of little looks like blood marks coming down his eyeballs.
So he just like got involved with the wrong crowd.
He seemed nice, though.
Yeah, he seemed like he had his head on his shoulders pretty good.
He messed up a little.
He messed up. Did he do time? Yes, he did a little bit of time. And now he's back on the streets.
Oh, he was so cute.
And he still is cute in his own way. I know, he is. Look at him. He's pretty cute. And he must be a big Washington, that W in the middle of his forehead. I think that's a Washington sports team. Yeah, maybe he's a big Nationals fan. He loves baseball. It's weird to get a baseball face tattoo. Weird for the baseball face. Also, he must have been born in 1988, maybe.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts joke about celebrities?
Oh, she already does her little present.
Gator, ready?
Oh, Gator, you're going to have to give Casey some kisses.
It's a little tiny Eeyore.
Is he backwards?
His head is backwards, but it can go 360 like the exorcism. Oh. And look at his hands. It can clip. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't be scared, Gator. It's your new best friend.
It's like a toy.
Whoa. I think she thinks it's an enemy. Gator, that's a fun toy for you. She literally thinks it's like some sort of other animal. I didn't even consider that.
It's just a little print of yours. Yeah, you want to smell him?
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Chapter 6: What are the shoes that the hosts discuss?
Whoa. On three, we both pull half of it. One, two, three. What's in it? It's the little ducks.
That's his family.
Oh, my gosh.
Grant, zoom in on this shit, brother. You're going to want to take a peek.
All right.
It's Mr. Duck's little nephews, just like your daughters.
Oh, wow.
That was a fun little zoom in. It's Huey, Louie, Gooey, and Stewie.
Whatever their name was. It's Lois Peter Griffin in Cleveland. Who was that? Was their father or grandfather the dude who was so rich he would swim around in the swimming pool of gold coins? Scrooge McDuck. Was he related to these guys? I'm having to call this in.
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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' thoughts on famous TV shows?
I got nothing. So like Miss Amy O, but instead of crack cocaine, it's a cyanide capsule. I wonder how she's doing. I shouldn't even bring her up. Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. Wait, she has crack in her tooth?
She had crack in her tooth? Is that what you're talking about?
She had a piece of crack inside a hole in her tooth. Yeah. And it was the size of her pinky nail and she got 20 years.
Yeah, three strikes, you're out.
And she probably just needed rehab.
Yeah. Not 20. Yeah, she was on episode seven. Yeah, she had crack cocaine.
She's been asking when we should have her back.
Yeah, my gosh. So you haven't been, yeah. We need to have her. What episode are we on now?
200. Okay.
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Chapter 8: What are the hosts' views on the past and nostalgia?
And I'd watch that and I would kind of cheer. I'm going to kind of cheer.
I'm so close to truck stick in your ass.
God. I don't know what that means even. Well, that's a good thing because it's going to be a giant surprise, I'm sure.
Yeah, William's going to drop a $5 bill and he's going to say, oh shit, Grant, my hands are full. You picked that up. You're going to pick it up.
I'm just going to fucking potato sack your ass. You think we're fucking around today? We're not. We can make this $175. Yeah, you better delete an old one.
Just delete something. We'll just get rid of one.
Yeah. Yeah, so this will be 175. You just got to find something to delete.
Okay.
Yeah, just delete one of the ones where I look tired.
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